#this shit got me ugly crying bro
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#ik im on a hiatus#but like literally this event is bigger to me than my boards#this shit got me ugly crying bro#inanimate insanity#iii spoilers#inanimate insanity spoilers#inanimate insanity invitational#mephone4#iii finale#cheesy's art
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ATLA/LOK incorrect quotes
F, M & GN reader | every scenario without the readers gender being specified is Gender Neutral.
Bolin, on the phone with Mako: Mako, I need you to come pick me up.
Mako: Why?
Bolin: Y/n is busy passive-aggressively doing the dishes they asked me to do 6 hours ago.
Bolin: This house is not safe anymore.
-
Mako: Hey, whats for dinner?
Bolin: I cant tell you, its a soup-rise.
Mako: Is it soup?
Y/n: We soup-ose is could be.
Mako: Enough with the soup puns you two.
Bolin: Aww, you never soup-port our jokes.
[Five minutes later]
Mako: It was fucking tacos.
-
Mako: The stars look really pretty tonight.
Y/n: Yeah, they do.
Mako: You know who else looks pretty tonight?
Y/n: Asami.
Mako, at the same time: Korra.
Y/n: What?
Mako: What?
-
Toph: Do you do anything other than whine like a little bitch?
Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch.
-
Mako, not looking up from his book: What did she(Kuvira) do now?
Y/n: SHE SMILED!
Mako: At you?
Y/n: No, at her dumb friends, but she looks like an angel.
Mako: Go away, Y/n.
Y/n: Shut up, I watched you pine after Korra while in a relationship with Asami.
Mako: Go on.
-
Korra: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Lin: That’s not how you make cookies.
Y/n: FLOOR IT!
Bolin: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?
Lin: yOURE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!
Korra: IM GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!!
Y/n&Bolin: DO IT!
Lin: NO-
-
Korra: I’m small, but knowing.
Tall!Y/n: You dont be knowing what the top of a shelf looks like though.
Korra: …
Tall!Y/n: …
Korra: Bitch.
-
Bolin and Mako watching Y/n from a distance chase a squirrel.
Bolin: Thats the person I see myself married to in the future.
Bolin: Thoughts?
Mako: …
Bolin: …
Mako: ..and prayers, bro.
-
Y/n: My autistic friend(book 1 zuko) is my favourite person on the planet. I asked if he would still be friends with me if I got a mullet and without looking up he said “we are not friends” like ok bestie.
-
Korra: Theres only one thing worse than losing.
[Tips over paper saying ‘losing Y/n’]
Y/n: Me.
Korra: No-
-
Y/n: Are you sure you’re ok?
Zuko, crying: Yeah, it’s just these onions, man.
Y/n: …
Zuko: …
Y/n: Those are potatoes.
-
[Asami, puts on chapstick]
Y/n: What flavour is that?
Asami: oh its [chapstick flavour].
Y/n: Lemme taste.
Asami: Sure.
[hands chapstick]
Y/n, kisses Asami
Y/n: Shit it does actually taste like [Chapstick flavour].
[Asami blushing like crazy]
-
Y/n: Aang, why do good people die young?
Aang: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which one do you pick?
Y/n: The ugly ones.
Aang: Exactly- wait wait what, why?
Y/n: Because ugly bitches dont belong in my garden.
-
Toph: Hi, im your doctor today, I’ll be drawing your blood as soon as I’m done with my capri sun.
[Misses the hole four times before finally getting the straw in]
[Y/n, sweats profusely]
-
Sokka: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.
Y/n: You forgot me and Suki back in the fire nation 3 weeks ago.
Sokka: I did that on purpose, try again.
-
Y/n: Listen to me, love is a scam.
Bolin: You’re making a valentines card for Mako right now.
Y/n, points glue gun at him: You’re on thin fuckin ice.
-
Zuko: Whats with the napkin on the glass door?
Y/n: Aang keeps walking into the glass door, so I thought this might help.
Aang: Oh cool, a floating napkin!
[Walks into glass door]
#atla#lok#x reader#korra x reader#bolin x reader#mako x reader#asami x reader#sokka x reader#toph x reader#zuko x reader#aang x reader#atla x reader#lok x reader
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OLD YOONGI -
[ min yoongi x reader ]
YOONGI :3
you have 1 miss call from yoongi :3
yoongi: i’m killing myself
you have 2 miss calls from yoongi :3
yoongi: do you want me to kill myself?
y/n: send a picture of ur face rn
yoongi: why didn’t you answer??
y/n: shut up and send
yoongi: why?
y/n: cuz i asked
yoongi: you demanded
y/n: ur into that
yoongi: shut up
y/n: :p
ur face
rn
pls
yoongi: no
ur just gonna say something weird
y/n: i won’t
yoongi: whatever
y/n:
got me twiddling my thumbs and shit🥰
ur such a cutie
let’s do a blood bond
no joke i’m so hard rn
yoongi: …
y/n: want proof????
yoongi: talk to me like a normal girlfriend
y/n: hello amazing beautiful boyfriend
yoongi: ew???
y/n: pookie??
yoongi: leave me alone
y/n: you literally called me?
yoongi: and you didn’t answer
y/n: just say ur obsessed with me…
yoongi: going to the coffee shop
y/n: WITHOUT ME???
fucking snake oh my god
yoongi: what do you want??
y/n: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
yoongi: ur making me sick
y/n: stop being mean to me
yoongi: sorry :3
what do you want pretty
y/n: your mouth against my mouth
yoongi: ok bye
y/n: boooo ur boring
yoongi: don’t be upset with me when i come home with no coffee for you
y/n: what are you getting
yoongi: vanilla latte
7 espresso shots
y/n: bro????????????????
you might as well do cocaine what the hell
yoongi: who is bro?
y/n: i want to fuck u rn
btw
if you didn’t know
now you do
yoongi: ur real strange
y/n: i can be strange in bed
yoongi: no thanks???
y/n: just tell me to shoot myself in the head fuck
yoongi: wtf are you even talking about rn
y/n: yoongi don’t you get tired of pretending ur not deeply in love with me and would literally ask how high if i said jump
yoongi: what do you want from this fucking coffee shop oh my god
i’m almost there
y/n: ur so in love with me it’s actually overbearing
yoongi: i’m blocking you
y/n: what would you do if i kissed namjoon
yoongi: ????
why would you do that??
stop asking me stupid questions
y/n: i just want to know
yoongi: stop talking
y/n: if i stop talking that means i’m dead
yoongi: i can’t wait till that day comes
y/n: ummm what the hell
ur literally gonna die first
ur 30……
yoongi: how do you know i’m gonna die first
you god or something??
y/n: baby ur 30
yoongi: i’m aware
y/n: im gald you understand
yoongi: ?
whatever
getting u a iced caramel frappe thing ok??
don’t want it don’t care
y/n: when he knows ur order 😍
yoongi: nvm i’m not getting it for you actually
y/n: when he’s broke and ugly 🤬
yoongi: 😐
y/n: i’ll lick you head to toe
i lied i’m sorry
ur not ugly
AT ALL
yk that baby
yoongi: but i’m broke?
y/n: maybe idk
you not wanting to buy me the drink says a lot….
yoongi: whatever don’t care anymore
y/n: you’re a liar
you literally almost cried just now
yoongi: no i didn’t
y/n: you did
yoongi: not
y/n: i love u
yoongi: ok
y/n: say it back stupid bitch
yoongi: i love you
y/n: <3333333333333333333
yoongi: this is toxic
y/n: me and namjoon are toxic
yoongi: there is no you and namjoon
y/n: can i dream in peace
yoongi: shut up
cuz what if i said
y/n: NO DON’T SAY ANYTHING
OH MY GOD IM GONNA TJROW UP
DONT PLS -£/££/£2&:&:£:£.£
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😞😞😞😞😞
BABY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
ILL LITERALLY CRY IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WOMANS NAME
yoongi: but you can talk about namjoon??
idk this doesn’t seem fair love :/
y/n: don’t even know a namjoon
is that a fruit or something????????
yoongi: that’s what i thought
y/n: shut the hell up
yoongi: :3
y/n: random question but are you single lol
yoongi: no
y/n: damn that’s crazy
i hope she dies
yoongi: me too
y/n: WOOOOOWWWWW
yoongi: idk what you expect me to say
y/n: dni rn
yoongi: ok
y/n: ur interacting i told you NOT to
fucker
ok
good
stupid idiot loser bitch
UGH
sighs
so like…
*tucks hair behind ear*
you come here often?😍
don’t ignore my flirting what the hell
yoongi: what do you want from me
y/n: some love and appreciation would be nice idk..
yoongi: at the coffee shop standing in line now
y/n: bet the way you standing is hot as hell
yoongi: ??
tf is actually ur issue
y/n: don’t ?? me
ur making me look insane
yoongi: you are insane
y/n: this yoongi would never treat me
like this
yoongi: ew
never show me that again
y/n: but you look so silly and edible :33
i remember the day you took this so clearly
you sent it to me and begged me
to tell you if it was ok to post or not
SIGHSSSSSSS
wow miss old yoongi
now ur just a slut whose naked all the time
yoongi: i am not naked all the time
y/n: SIGHSSSSSSS
what happened to my little lover boy
who would tell me he loves me 475 times a day
yoongi: i tell you i love you all the time
y/n: ok but you say it like i have a gun to ur head
yoongi: i love you
y/n: not convinced
yoongi: whatever
y/n: SIGHSS
the old yoongi wouldn’t of given up so easily
yoongi: i love you there is literally nothing more to say
y/n: old yoongi would have more words
yoongi: i reallllly love you
y/n: SIGHSSSSSSS
yoongi: babe…
y/n: looks left looks right
sighs
yoongi: you are great
i love you
i appreciate you
i want to kiss you
y/n: i could cry
best day of my life
i’ve never seen you this emotional yoongi
kinda off putting
you on ur period or something 💀
yoongi: ?????????????
stop talking to me
—
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie
#bts crack#bts fic#bts fluff#bts text#bts imagines#bts x y/n#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fanfic#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts#min yoongi x reader#yoongi texts#suga x you#yoongi x you#yoongi x y/n
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we cry together is so toxic relationship with dick grayson coded
ESPECIALLY VERSE 2!!!!! (I skipped some lines to fit the story and changed a few words to better fit dick's character </3) also this specific dick is gonna be known as "toxic relationship!dick grayson" (tags)
tw: arguments, toxic relationship, on again off again relationship vibes, allusions to dick cheating on reader with babs
It was inevitable that the two of you would get into another argument - about her. Barbara Gordon. The beautiful, fit, intelligent and witty daughter of the police commissioner James Gordon. Fuck, you were jealous of her. Of what she meant to Dick. You knew that they were a thing before the two of you got together, and yet almost every time he bailed on you it was to see Barbara.
"R/n I swear that there's nothing on between us. It's just work and friendship. I wouldn't do that to you." Dick tries to reason with you, albeit angrily.
"Oh really? Cus I know for a fact that you've cheated on someone with that redheaded hoe!" You hiss, your hands on the island bench as you stare into the guilty eyes of the man before you, your keys resting a few inches from you. He throws his hands up and shakes his head in disbelief. As if he didn't do exactly that to Kori.
"For God's sake, why are you making this so difficult? All we're doing is working. On. A. Case. What don't you understand about that?" Dick annunciate the last part in a slow, firm voice, reminiscent of the voice that one would use to talk to a misbehaving toddler.
"Nah, you're just a lil dick-ass slut that's tryna go big. Tryna make a name for yourself as Gotham's resident whore or what?" with a mirthless chuckle, you use your hands to gesture.
Dick's annoyingly perfect eyebrows furrow, and he smirks, "But you were suckin' this dick though.". This comment throws you off momentarily, but you quickly clap back.
"Well, shit, I shoulda sucked his." who's cock you were referring to? You don't know, and it didn't matter. What mattered right now was pissing Dick off to the point that he'd apologise and to promise to never see Barbara without anyone else present.
This wiped the smirk off of Dick's face immediately, the sudden change was hilarious. If you weren't so infuriated, you would've laughed in his stupid stunned face. "What? Fuckin' repeat what you said."
"I shoulda found a bigger dick." you make sure to punctuate each word with a crisp, satisfying clap, astounding your boyfriend even more. His expression quickly turns sour and bitter.
"What? You mad? Because you can go text that raggedy bitch and tell her you all that she got." You gloat, pointing at the phone in his left hand. With a huff, Dick quickly snatches up your car keys, moving towards the living room to inevitably get away from you. Fuck, you still need to get to work.
"Dick, give me my keys, Imma be late for work." with furrowed eyebrows you follow him, where he stops near the coffee table, arms crossed.
"Fuck your job, today's gonna be the day you walk to that bitch." he scowls, eyes narrowed as he glares at you, giving a quick glance at the clock. 7:58 AM.
You sigh inwardly, pinching your eyebrows, "I need to leave at 8, give me my keys, bro." and the devil that is Dick Grayson lets out a bark of laughter.
"On God, you aren't getting these keys." He raises the keys out of your reach when you make a grab for them, leaving you to accidentally swipe at his upper arm.
"Give me my fucking keys!" You yell, fruitlessly trying to reach for your keys again, to which Dick laughs at again.
"Ah, now you mad at me, I got you hollerin' for nothin'."
"I do the same when we fuckin'."
"Acting like that pussy ain't loose."
"I'd rather act like I'm cummin'."
"I'd rather fuck off that juice."
"I'd rather fuck on your brother."
Dick was about to retort back but he paused. Wait, what? "Bitch, you said you're gonna fuck who?" he hisses, an ugly frown adorning his face and his breath heavy. At this point his arms are folded again, your keys tucked into a large hand.
A bitter smirk on your face, you reply, "You heard me, bitch, it's nothing.". Your heart is racing, was that too far? Definitely, but if it makes him feel even a fraction of how you feel when he's with Babs, then it's worth it.
Dick carelessly chucks your car keys onto the coffee table behind him, stalking backing you into the couch as he stares you down. Fuck, you're in for it now. You're forced to sit, with how in your face he is and you cross your own arms. Two can play that game. You glower up at him, daring him to say or do something.
"That better be nothing. No one knows you better than I do. No one." he scowls, moving a hand to cup your cheek.
#°○☆spectr3inl0ve#monty loves dc#toxic relationship!dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson smut#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson x reader smut#dick grayson x female!reader#jason todd x reader#batman x reader#bruce wayne x reader#Spotify#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader smut
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Ours.
Look at these two machines bro
★ Pairings: cody rhodes x fem!reader, mjf x fem!reader (this is a oneshot but could turn into a full poly fanfic if i ever get the motivation to do so)
★ Warnings: swearing, smut, haven’t read over, angry cody grr, quickish writing of smut cos idk how to do shit in detail
★ Word count: 2161
Cody was going to do it. He was going to finally confess his feelings towards you. He had your favourite flowers in hand, feeling as confident as ever. You had been the perfect pair recently with random selected mixed tag teams tournament, and just the instant connection you two had outside of work.
He got to the door of your locker room and heard laughter coming from inside. One was obviously you but the other it was...
Oh, of course it was him..
Maxwell fucking Jacob Friedman.
Cody’s good mood dimmed he was going to lose you, if not already lost to that big dumb idiot. He didn’t really think of MJF this way, they were actually pretty great buds. The wave over jealously just quickly took over. He leaned in closer to try and hear what they were saying, but in the process he knocked his head on the door, causing Y/N and MJF to jump a bit before Y/N called out “It’s unlocked come in!!”
Cody quickly threw the flowers to the side trying to hide them, he didn’t want to walk in there with flowers if there was something going on between you two and MJF makes a fool out of Cody. Cody hesitantly open the door and walked in, putting on his best fake charming smile ever.
“Hey Y/N! … Maxwell” Cody said slyly. “Y/n I was wondering if you would like to go out for dinner after the show is finished?” He asked casually, trying not to pay attention to MJF staring deeply into his soul.
Y/N sighed. “Cody i’d love to but,” she looked to Maxwell briefly before turning back to Cody, “i’ve already got some plans.”
MJF smirked and Y/N slightly hit him.
“Oh. Oh yeah that’s fine. It was just a little offer you know, I know you’re a busy person. I’ll catch you around later, you too MJF.” Cody backed to the door closing it quickly and kicking the flowers he had dropped earlier.
“Fuck, you stupid fucking idiot fuck.” He said under his breath in an angry tone. He wanted you so fucking bad but he lost you to that clown. That ugly loud talking clown with a shit show of a fake tan.
He stormed out of the building, everyone looking in his direction, Kenny Omega chased after Cody briefly saying “Hey man you all good? what happened?” But Cody left him in the dust and Kenny easily gave up. Angry Cody was not someone to annoying any further. Heading towards his car, everything was so overwhelming, stressful, he felt like he was going to cry. He wanted the dream girl, but unfortunately his luck wasn’t on his side today.
Cody got in his car, throwing himself in angrily and started driving to his hotel. ‘I hate that stupid mother fucker.’ He mumbled under his breath.
He arrived at his hotel room. He slammed the door shut, taking off his jacket and tossing it to the side.
Reaching into his pocket, pulling out one of your flowers he was going to give you earlier. ‘Can’t believe I was going to give these to her, she probably thinks a gift of flowers would be pathetic.’
He crumpled the flower up and tossed it across the room. Leaving a stain on the wall he threw it at.
He walked over to the fridge to get out a beer, yeah alone drinking was pretty fucking sad but he didn’t care he had to suppress the emotions.
Grabbing the bottle he walked over to the couch, sinking down into it and looking at the TV screen. All this pent up anger and frustration over the past few hours, he thought maybe a drink or three could make him feel better.
Grabbing the can of beer in hand he took a long swig from it, then suddenly a phone rang he picked it up without even looking to see who was calling him.
“Hello?” he said gruffly.
“Hey it’s me! I heard you left the building pretty quick, I’m a bit worried, are you at the hotel?” Y/N asked. “Yeah just now” He answered with no emotion. Y/N ignored his tone and said “I’m coming right now, MJF too.”
Cody remained silent. She kept the phone on, expecting conversation, since she loved her and Cody’s chats. but he said noting the whole time and listened to her and Maxwell make tiny pathetic conversation as she drove over. “I’m almost here, i’ll knock twice and you have five seconds to let me in.” She jokingly said as she hung up the phone.
Cody sighed, turning off the TV and sat there on the couch feeling lonely, miserable, and useless. He thoughts started to wonder. The many amounts of alcohol getting to his brain. What would you be like in bed. What would MJF be like. Has you and Max already had sex. Did you give MJF the best blowjob of his life. Could Cody be able to experience that one day, hope in the near future. Have you got kinks, Cody sure as hell did, and just by looking at Max you could tell he does too.
Would you let Cody tie you up, and dominate you in every way possible? Would you allow him to spank your ass until you cried for more? Would you allow him and MJF to absolutely destroy the fuck out of you.
Cody finished his beer and threw it away, peeping down at his newly formed boner. “Fuck” he groaned.
He pulled his pants down a little so that he could access to his erection and stroke it slowly. He reached over to the table and grabbed another beer can, slamming it down onto the counter. Grabbing his dick again, wrapping his fingers around it, completely forgetting that you and MJF were going to appear at his hotel door in any minute. He breathed out a shuttered breath and imagined you, he needed you, your name came out of his mouth in whispers. He imagined your tight pussy clenching down on his dick and every thrust, he was right in the moment when he was interrupted by banging on his door.
Banging on his door harder and harder. “CMON CODY MANN” MJF practically yelled. “YEAHH We want to go clubbing it’s been a long day!!” You half sung. Cody stopped what he was doing, and just stared at the door running to the bathroom to quickly finish. That’s when MJF busted through the door yelling “HELLO! Oh shit, bro your whole dick is out. Shit it might even be bigger than mine.”
Cody was so out of it he just stared at Maxwell, not giving a shit about the situation.
Y/N stumbled in the room, “Max you can’t just break a door like that what the he-“ You stared at Cody your eyes slowly drifted down and landed on the holy penis. You blushed and looked away. “Sorry Codes- didn’t know you were busy…”
Cody finally covered up, looking between MJF and you, he smiled. The alcohol making him feel oddly confident
“Are you two a thing? Because I was going to ask pretty little Y/N out today but I stumbled upon this- this- little fucking thing going on. So I stormed out to my car drove here, thought about some pretty hot things, and since i’m still hard I’d like to finish off the fucking job alright?” Cody walked towards the bedroom not looking back. It was a need, it was normal.
“No Cody we aren’t a thing,” you called after him. “I was actually talking to Max for ideas on how I was going to ask you out.” You said shyly.
Cody slowly turned and you gave him a smile and Max nodded.
Cody looked like a puppy, his eyes gleamed with hope, but they tuned, turned to lust.
“You asking me out doesn’t solve the erection problem though, does it sweetheart?”
Cody looked to MJF and smirked and nodded his head to your. Max smirked back and licked his lips, his hand graced your back and pushed you into the bedroom with Cody.
Shit. You were going to have a threesome with the 2 most arguably hottest people you know and it got you so unbelievably wet. MJF shut the door behind you. and walked beside Cody.
You stood in front of them, Cody’s cock waving at you from his boxers, it’s tip dark red, with veins, big enough to put your thumb through if you wanted to. He let out a needy grunt as you reached out and started stroking him. It grew to full mast instantly again. MJF stepped up behind you removing your clothes and started to play with your breasts, rolling the nipples, and sucking your neck, leading to you letting out a soft moan, which could get anyone hard instantly.
You looked to MJF, who had removed his shirt and pants, revealing his thick uncut dick, that is only slightly darker than Cody’s, even with his pubic hair that covered it, it’s thickness was visible when it was standing straight up. He smiled as you pulled Cody into you and slid onto his cock. As he entered your body, you moaned louder and started riding him harder, Cody moaned as well.
Then MJF wrapped his arms around your waist and began to thrust into you as well, both of their cocks sliding easily into your tight pussy, stretching you until you start crying out. You couldn’t take anymore, MJF slammed into you , pulling out and ramming himself back inside of you, over and over until you could feel yourself nearing your orgasm, while Cody was maintaining his quick pace, you moaned loudly and leaned forward onto Cody’s chest and began humping him faster.
Cody’s and Max’s hands were roaming all over your body, their mouths sucking at any place they could. You were a moaning mess and you couldn’t help it. It was better than you ever expected.
“Oh god y/n, I need to cum inside of you” Cody whispered in your ear. “Me too, fuck you’re so perfect, you’re ours” MJF groaned. Cody hummed in agreement. “We should do some sort of baby roulette, both cum, get her preggo, see who the child is.” MJF suggested becoming breathless. Your teary eyes opened wide, so fucking weird, but it surprisingly turned you on more.
You’ve never felt this way before, it felt good. You looked to MJF then Cody, they both had such huge smiles on their faces both thinking about the baby idea going through the pros and cons. They fucked you until you came twice, your walls clenched around their cocks, their moans were matching each other’s and they eventually came as well. You laid on top of Cody’s chest, as MJF was laying on top of you partially squished you, but you didn’t mind you felt safe both of them panting as they held you close.
“Wow, guys,” you exhaled. “That was intense. You guys really are amazing.” MJF laughed and nodded his head. “Yeah.” Cody agreed planting a big loving kiss on your forehead, MJF doing the same on the back of your head.
It was nice and warm laying in between the two guys, but eventually MJF got up and you groaned at the loss of warmth and snuggled deeper into Cody while he rubbed circles around your back.
MJF got a towel and started cleaning the mess you guys had created, you looked up and smiled, him smiling back.
“So about the baby roulette thing..” He said proudly, but you just shooted daggers at him. Cody was kissing your neck, but you could feel him smirking.
“Ok, haha, plan b it is, I will get it for you beauty” MJF awkwardly laughed.
“It’s okay, I’ll get it.” You got up off of Cody, but that was a mistake as you plummeted to the ground groaning in pain. “Second thought, yeah you go get it.” The boys laughed, and you let out a small giggled but quickly stopped.
“FUCK I HAVE A MATCH TOMORROW GUYS.” The boys kept on laughing. “ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY YOU CUNTS, SHIT.”
Cody picked you up and placed you on the bed. Both boys sitting on either side of you, both laying a hand onto your thighs, and rubbing up and down coming extremely close to your area.
“Don’t worry sweet, we’re all calling in sick tomorrow.” Cody winked to you, and MJF slowly lifted his hand up from your thigh, grazing his hand ever so slightly over your pussy making you jump a little.
What the fuck have I gotten into.
#cody rhodes x reader#cody rhodes#cody rhodes oneshot#cody rhodes fanfiction#cody rhodes imagine#aew#wwe raw#aew fanfiction#mjf#maxwell jacob friedman#mjf x reader#mjf oneshot#mjf imagine
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my dps roman empires
cuz i keep seeing those videos with my love mine all mine on my feed with consistently ugly-sob-inducing stories and roman empires so now i have this long list i wanna share
+ may include some little facts here and there for anyone new in the fandom
• anderperry’s entire relationship and dynamic
literally no explanation needed on why it’s the top of the list and the first thing i wrote down
the whole hourglass and icarus x the sun dynamics makes me sob every time without fail
someone rewrite the script so they have a happy ending please
also me: wym they already do?? they got married and went to new york??????
• charlie and neil :(((
• thinking about charlie’s experience and dealing with grief post-expulsion
• todd’s entire character
bro makes my quiet x anxious kid heart go brrr
like just thinking about the little implications of his behavior and what’s said about his brother in the script makes me wanna cry and scream and throw a tantrum
he really represents the epitome of all quiet shy kids out there and i really appreciate it
• dead poet’s society but from cameron’s perspective
i understand y’all wanting to punch and yell at him and show no forgiveness but i also think you should give a bit of sympathy for this kid
he doesn’t know any better just like charlie or any of the other poets
damn this movie does a great job of showing reality and the fact that there’s no real enemies
• dead poet’s society but from pitts’s perspective 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
like i’d pay to see this honestly
• pitts’s screen time :((((
my underrated boy :(((((
• pitts and cameron’s dynamic
i KNOW we see these two talking in the background and seeing him make cameron laugh and smile the most compared to everyone else
like??? i wanna see more?????
cameron being outwardly comfortable around someone finally???
• the fact that all the movie's events ensued as they’re all high schoolers
like idk if there’s a canonical age for any of them but whether they’re juniors or seniors the trauma is still the same
• the thoughts of the kids who stood up on their desks at the end of the movie
how are they dealing with keating being away now? how do they view life in general?? did they really appreciate keatings class???? would they join the dps if they had the chance???????
• hopkins’s portrayal
its kind of a 50/50 since bro barely has screen time, yet i see his character oftentimes being portrayed as the class asshole
i think it’s clear that him and his friends commit tomfoolery and are overall jerks but to think that he’s the more sensible, level-headed guy makes a lot of sense to me—kinda similar to charlie in a way
like he knows limits and when to not push them even if he doesn’t come off that way. all bro does is chill in class and stare off into the windows daydreaming (as shown in the whole ripping out the poetry intro scene). bro doesn’t wanna be there. he’s just chilling and honestly same💀
• spencer’s actual treatment in the movie
ik we love this man, and our headcanons (or at least what i’ve seen and my own for the most part) say that people treat him well but low key everyone be on his shit
like it brings up the question of whether or not this is considered bullying cause any scene i see he’s either blatantly shoved around or even the guys around him purposely steal his medicine and pass it around so he can’t have it (including stick participating in this)-
like i think there’s some limits to being a jerk and idk how spencer really feels throughout the movie cuz he’s a background character :////
• HANDSOME ASS BACKGROUND CHARACTERS AND THEIR SCREEN TIMES = UNFAIR! CRIMINAL !!!!!
• the fact that ginny’s character just gets completely cutout. like she has a few lines to begin with and then the movie comes out and she ends up being a non-speaking extra in the play like i’m- what happened???
• tina and gloria / girl characters portrayed in dps in general
let me explain cuz i love them but also feel bad for their characters
like low key they’re just used as experiments for the cave (implied by charlie in a deleted scene that wasn’t recovered although i think this part is in the original script as well if i remember correctly)
although he brings them back a second time in a deleted scene where they’re all dancing around outside of the cave on the night of the play only for him to make out with one of them in another deleted scene that wasn’t recovered… (( this was revealed in an old interview on someone working behind the scenes btw ))
so like i kinda feel bad for them. like y’all just there for show but i wish you had more lines and other purposes besides possibly not passing a bechdel test ://////
^ lowkey this same concept is kinda seen with chris’s character too. like all she’s there for is a romantic interest for knox. like cmon now she’s one of the main female characters and THIS is what she gets. i wanna know more about my girl chris!!!!
and i kind of understand why it’s set up this way since y’know it’s an all male boarding school in the 1950s—how do you fit female characters in and how are they viewed? it’s not the greatest setup of all time
• ANDERPERRY DELETED SCENE ON THE DOCK NOT MAKING IT INTO THE FILM LIKE OUT OF ALL DELETED SCENES THAT ONE IS THE REALLY IMPORTANT ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
• the deleted scene of the poets carrying neil’s coffin 🚶♂️
like goodbye. doors closed. tears shed.
kinda glad it’s not in the movie cuz i would’ve sobbed uncontrollably even more than neil’s death
• todd’s poem
another deleted scene that really rearranges my internal organs
the fact that him reading this poem was supposed to be in tandem/include shots with neil’s death-
why do the writers want us to cry rivers?????
BUT ALSO ITS FUNNY ASF IF YALL WATCH THIS DELETED SCENE WHEN TODD IS TELLING THEM WHAT TO REPEAT BETWEEN VERSES, ONE OF THE POETS GOES “what??🤨”
I’M SORRY TODD IK YOURE TRYING BUT THAT LITTLE AIRHEADED ASS “what?” IS SO FUNNY TO ME
• the fact that in the very first version of the script, keating was supposed to have cancer
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS UNTIL LAST MINUTE
LIKE Y’ALL ADMITTED THAT YOU WANTED TO HAVE A SCENE OF KEATING DYING IN A HOSPITAL AND WERE PONDERING ON WHETHER HIS CHARACTER SHOULD HAVE A FATAL ILLNESS FOR THREE DAYS ?!?!?
thank god y’all made the right decision and rewrote the script to take that out
#dps tumblr#dead poets society#dps fandom#dead poets fandom#dps#dps boys#todd anderson#charlie dalton#john keating#mr keating#neil perry#anderperry#chris noel#gerard pitts#pitts dps#cameron dps
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ima give you a lil delight dearest 😉
Ringing, silence, why do the silence so loud? I cough and wave a hand in front of me, the dust tickling my lungs as I breathe in. I stumble as I slowly ride to my feet, a hand pressing against the ruble that was once a building. Fucking told Mactiavish not to blow it yet, bastards in for a- "shit, fuck, no!" ...Simon? My eyes widen and I feel fear, ugly and all to familiar, swell in my chest. Any pain I had felt is shoved to the back of my mind as I run, following the sound of Simons voice and his scent I smell just barely in the air. It's smells...wrong, something is wrong, the thought Simon could be hurt makes me speed up, and I almost slip and fall in the pieces of concrete littering ground to get to him.
My chest heaves and I take in the sights of Simon backed against a large chunk of ruble, leaning against it with a zombie, dead by the head shot wound I can see in the middle of its forehead, clutching tightly at his ankles. "Simon!" i shout, overjoyed he was alright and jog over to him, dropping to my knees "Simon your o-...Simon? " i feel fear creep up my spine once again as Simon clutched his right arm to chest, a pistol in his hand presumably the one he used to shoot the zombie, with his left arm and staring intently at it with something I had only ever seen in his eyes twice, fear, pure unbridled fear. I follow his gaze and my expression becomes one of horror and anguish, he was bit. I feel tears pool in my eyes, mumbling with a breaking voice "no no no, not you Si"
Simon turns his head to me, to his eyes all to soft and gentle for a dying man "Grim" he utters my name and I shake my head, leaning forward and clutching at his arm, pressing myself against him like a distressed child "no!" I sob, the force causing me to heave "Grim" Simon says again, his voice more stern. I open my eyes, when had I closed them, and he looks at me so gentle, so soft, so warm. Normally I would've felt immediately safe, but it only causes more hysteria "no Simon! We already lost dad, I'm not losing you too!" I feel something sweet in my chest and throat, choking me from the inside. I shake Simon to get my point across, but still when I feel a hand graze my jaw, I look up to meet Simon's eyes, I can tell her smiling under his mask " it's okay" no, no it's not! My family is dying and it's okay?! "Is okay Grim, it'll be okay"
pulled out my skills for this one 😋😘
(I started Fucking crying bro, this shit got me fucked up😭😭)
hanging this up on the wall, this is pure perfection, well written, thought he'd wake us up from a dream but no
gut wrenching, heart stopping..
I am applauding at you!!!!!!!!!!!
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hai, can you do alejandro balde when you're in secret relationship with him and one of barca kid try to hit you up and got really jealous. 🤍🤍
Yes 🤭 I’ve never seen a balde jealousy fan fiction so I’m kind of excited. I hope you enjoy it!
Fueled by Jealousy
Pairing: Balde x female reader
Summary: you were waiting for balde to exit the field after training until one of the younger Barca players decided to come him on you, fueling anger and jealousy in balde as he sees the interaction
Warning: slight yelling, cursing.
————————————————————————
I was waiting for Alejandro as usual. Ever since me and him started dating a few months ago we have made it a tradition that I come pick him up from training. I enjoyed doing this and so did he, he enjoyed being passenger princess after a long training.
I was standing slightly off the field watching him finish his training. I really admired him and his passion for football. Ever since we were teenagers he’s loved the game, it was always football and I just find it so admirable that he made his dreams come true. As I continued to watch him finish up I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to look and it was a guy I haven’t seen around before.
“Hola Bonita.” The boy said to me.
I was kind of thrown off. What the fuck was all I could think.
“Hello.” I said quickly, not wanting to particularly invest time into small talk with the dude.
“You look really pretty.” He said complimenting me.
I smile back in a friendly manner before thanking him for the compliment. He continued to talk to me and compliment me he even made a few funny jokes. I was being friendly all up until I saw an angry Alejandro staring daggers at the boy.
“Well I think you should get going now Chico.” I told him, I’ve never seen blade look that angry and I didn’t want to see the outcome if the guy didn’t go on. Of course the boy didn’t get the hint either.
That’s when I saw Alejandro walking towards us. Well shit was all I could think. If a person was the definition of steam blowing out of their ears it would be Alejandro right now.
Once he got to us he walked closer to the guy.
“Hey bro what do you think you’re doing?” Alejandro slightly yelled at the boy.
“I was talking to this pretty girl before you so kindly interrupted.” The boy told Alejandro with a smug smirk on his face. Wrong move.
“Well she’s fucking mine, you got it? So why don’t you take your ugly happy ass else where and stay away from what fucking belongs to me kid.” Alejandro said while jabbing his pointer finger into the kids chest.
The kid backed off and walked away. Of course not before saying some stupid remark that got Alejandro even more fuming. I grabbed his arm before he could chase the kid.
“Amor it’s ok.” I said trying to calm him down.
“It’s not fucking on y/n! Why were you letting that sorry ass loser flirt with you!” He yelled.
I could tell he was angry and it kind of scared me.
“I didn’t know he was flirting…I thought he was just being friendly…” I said trying to explain to him.
“Boys don’t call girls beautiful and pretty in a fucking friendly way y/n!” He said rubbing his hands over his face. I felt tears at the brim of my eyes. I felt guilty but also upset that he thought I’d intentionally flirt with someone else.
“No no don’t cry please.” He said before engulfing me in a hug.
“I’m just scared to lose you, it makes me jealous seeing you smile and joke with someone else, I don’t want you to end up leaving me for someone better…” he explained while rubbing my head to calm me down.
“I’m not going to find someone better stupid, you’re the only thing that dogs my mind and the only person I’ll ever love.” I explained looking up at him before giving him a gentle kiss.
“I know it just scares me.” He said now with a slight pout.
“Don’t let it, I’m all yours and only yours, that’s why I have this ring on my finger amour, because I’m yours.” You told him while holding up your hand to show him your engagement ring he gave you.
“I love you.” He said giving me another kiss.
“I love you too.”
#imagine#blurbs#football#alejandro balde#blade x reader#alejandro blade imagine#alejandro blade x reader
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S4 is done and I have s5 paused so I can write this up real quick!
Sooooooooo Michael and David 😍😍 love that for him!
And May is a dispatcher 💕 as a mom I get Athena’s worries and as a daughter, sister, wife friend… AND mother, I get Mays desire to want to help. I love all the dispatchers and I wish they were all like the ones in this show!
I knew Buck Begins was this season and I still was not prepared 💔💔 I have no words and yet so many words and I may just make another long ranty post about it some other time! But for now just a big 🖕🏼to the Buckley parents!
I LOVE that the two episodes after were just hilarious just everything about the Jinx ep😂😂😂😂 and then them being lil ol peeping Tom’s… when they came back and saw Michael in the guys apartment I DIED!
The drunk driver OMG the momma in me was losing her shit Im never ACTUALLY vocal watching shows but i was screaming at the TV through this! My dogs might think im crazy, it’s a small price! And of course bby girl Jee comes at the most insane moment! I WAS UGLY CRYING THAT WHOLE MONTAGE! Ready to fight the writers but they came through and didn’t kill Albert! 😭😭😭😭
Josh’s little Begins 😭 I love him!! And Sue! And all the dispatchers!
The treasure hunt 😂😂😂 and everyone getting in on it! 😂😂😂 I live for the funny episodes to cleanse he palate after heavy one… and before heavy ones
THE SNIPER SHOT HEARD ‘ROUND THE WORLD!
I know Eddie got shot. BUT Buck! My lil bby buddy bro Buck 💕 he really just can’t catch a break (again I know Eddie got shot but as we know, he lives… but Buck holds onto everytime someone he loves gets hurt and doesn’t let it go he is like a carry all for everyone else’s baggage even when no one asks him to be! I just *feral noises* ya know?)
Ok now on to S5!
#911#911 show#911 abc#911 fox#911 season 4#911 spoilers#911 firefam#118 firefam#bobby nash#athena grant#evan buckley#eddie diaz#chimney han#hen wilson#maddie buckley#i love this show#and these characters#so much#😭😭😭
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Obey Me! Headcannons ~
I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci
BUT
I do have thoughts
This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs
He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers
I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK
Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.
I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile
I feel like he'd curse when angry
Idk.
Gay ass
Smells like pine trees or something
I think he'd have a fear of mascots
Like. character mascots.
Don't ask me okay
Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS
Am I WRONG????
We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...
Befriends the local crows.
There is so many he could be carried off
They all give him shiny shit to sell
Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model
He's attractive. Canonically.
Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros
This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue
"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"
He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games
The cast took a while to come off :)
Fav song is something CUNTY ik it
Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)
He's great :D
He is so trans to me as a transmasc.
He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like
I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is
“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”
How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.
Fav animal is SNAKES
Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados
He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times
Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism
He would be a brony
Lovable but a Bit Cringe
Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before
EXPERT at pirating shit
Would play Undertale.
Speedrunner !!
Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage
Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes
He's my malewife and he's everything to me.
Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game
He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus
Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters
His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me
He tweets in perfect grammar
He'd kill over a board game
Would cry over a cute cat video
WARRIOR CATS NERD
HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR
Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO
He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.
His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats
Loves Luigi
He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person
He'd also be a brony
The one that can analyze media properly
His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays
He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them
Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting
The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts
Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all
Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer
Smells like a different scented candle every week
Has that stereotypical gay accent
He's zesty
He's girlypop but we all knew that
Listens to Ayesha Erotica
Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"
He spills all the tea all the time
King shit
He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT
He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now
"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"
The one who painted everyone's nails
Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like
King at make up
Absolutely loves Ru Paul
Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now
Strawberry is his favorite flavor
He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise
He would HYPE. YOU. UP.
Has gum on him 24/7
Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)
IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me
VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is
Loves giving piggyback rides
Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders
Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders
He's a golden retriever. We knew this.
Surprisingly good at Just Dance
Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)
Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them
Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before
Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn
You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food
Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"
Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like
You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order
Smells like food-scented deodorant
He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong
Likes just picking people up and carrying them off
He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down
Favorite show is Bluey probably
Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something
Would kill for a klondike bar
Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language
Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind
Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!
Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath
Drinks a lot of milk
Blueberry is his favorite flavor
Lucid dreams a lot
He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like
Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)
Gummies are his favorite snack
He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL
He's girly pop in his own unique way
His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica
He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how
Chews on everything for sensory reasons
Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is
Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it
He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover
Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room
Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-
Anyways he's cool :)
#obey me#om!#om! swd#obey me!#omswd#obey me headcanons#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me mammon#obey me mc#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me brothers#omswd belphegor#omswd satan#omswd asmo#omswd mammon#omswd leviathan#headcannons#kattwritesstuff#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me x you#obey me x gender neutral reader
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sunghoon’s love languages as your bf !! (pt. 2)
pairing: sunghoon x reader (not gender specific !!)
genre: fluff | slice of life (i guess?)
word count: 0.8k words
warnings: mentions of weight and self awareness, pet names, rlly cutesy again
a/n: omg the first part got like 60 notes real quick even though my profile is basically empty??? Tysm 😭
QUALITY TIME he’s the type to say “i miss you :(“ even though you see him like almost everyday. Would stick around as much as he could possibly could.
«Hey»
«Open the door»
Those were the texts you read as you hesitantly open the front door of your apartment. A very smiley Sunghoon received you with the phone still in his hand.
— What are you doing here?— you scolded and rushed to hug him at the same time.
— Turns out our flight took off way earlier that we thought and I had some spare time so…— he shrunk his shoulders.
— So? You’re spending the night?— you were very excited to spend time together after Enhypen’s 3-month-long tour on America.
— I am— he confirmed as he took your hand—, but first I’m taking you on a date.
— Sunghoon you don’t have to do that, you must be tired— you tried to decline.
—Are you joking? I just got off a 13 hours flight. There’s nothing I would like more than going for a walk— he interrupted, quickly. Maybe he was even more excited to see you.
— Okay, okay, we’ll go. I’m getting us coffee ice cream— you announced, picking up the house keys.
— By the way, why didn’t you open with your own set of keys?— you curiously asked.
— I don’t know, maybe because last time I tried that you almost broke my rib?— he said, ironically.
— Oh, yeah, that. Sorry— you answered, smiling like an angel— On my defense, it was dark and you were supposed to arrive 3 days later.
Sunghoon giggled— I missed your excuses so much.
Your eyes soften as you replied— I missed you too.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION i feel like he would struggle the most with this one idk why. Bro would drop some random phrase like “you’re really pretty. Not as much as me obviously, but still pretty” for sure
With a heavy sigh you blocked another account from your dms. Ever since a sneaky photo of you with Sunghoon was filtered, some crazy fans have managed to found your user name.
At first it wasn’t that big of a deal for you, you were well aware of how far people can go for their idols. But lately it had became more and more hurtful to receive insults daily. They would criticize anything about you; your smile was ugly, you were overweighted and even your nose turned out to be crooked and you had never noticed before!
The self awareness, more than ever before, was a commonplace now. You dropped the phone, creating accidentally loud noise as you collapsed on the sofa. You always kept pretty well with criticism but this situation was taking over you.
— Baby, are you okay? I think I heard something— his voice sounded careful as he leant to the living room. The preoccupied expression appeared as soon as his eyes met yours, glossy from tears. Sunghoon rushed towards you, embracing your figure as you hipped from the crying.
A couple minutes later, Sunghoon spoke again in a whisper— Can you tell me what happened?
— It’s… it’s not that big of a deal really— you said between hiccups.
— Sweetie, if it wasn’t that important you wouldn’t react like this— he rubbed your back, gently.
Instead of talking, you passed your phone to him, the inbox open. Sunghoon quickly scrolled throw the screen, his face becoming reddish and his eyes darkening.
— This is what has been bothering you?— he suddenly turned towards you. Too embarrassed and still sensible to talk, you burried your head on your arms, but still nodded to let him know.
— y/n you can’t be serious— he spoke, carefully raising your face with one hand—. They don’t know shit about me! How could they know what it is good for me?
— But they’re your fans, they know-
— They are not my real fans if hating you looks like a good idea for them. They don’t have any right over my relationships—both of his hands were resting on your cheeks now, keeping your eyes from avoiding him—. Listen. We both know words are not my strong, but I could keep going forever when it comes to you and I will if you don’t start to behave as my cute, confident girlfriend right now.
You lightly laughed, rubbing your eyes one last time. Sunghoon felt the pressure on his chest dissipate as your breathe calmed down a bit— Thank you for that. It’s just that, you know, you’re so talented, comforting, handsome and everything. Sometimes I feel like you deserve so much better than me.
— You’re not perfect and neither I am! But you know what? We don’t need to be perfect to be the perfect couple. And let me tell you— he continued, fully serious, hugging you one more time—, I have yet to see a pair that looks nearly as good as you with me.
@ penhoonie masterlist
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rating record of ragnarok characters /10, because i can.
DISCLAIMER: i’m only rating the characters based off what the manga & anime has portrayed. i’ve done little to no research on these people themselves, which is why i don’t condone anything immoral that they’ve done. this was written before the release of chapter 73+
a/n: i think i wanna do this for every anime + genshin & val. PLS WATCH IT & LMK IF YOU GUYS LIKE IT. also i dont care abt grammatical and/or punctual errors, this is a shit post
MANGA SPOILER WARNING!!
THOR: first of all, he’s so fucking hot. his smile caught me so off guard tho, i kinda just stood there watching the screen, baffled. not much character to him, he’s just hot. 7/10
LU BU: i’m chinese, i literally feel so happy when i see chinese characters. biased, but definitely a plus. he, just like thor, has little to no character. first character i called hot, is hot, but there are hotter characters. (what, i am not talking abt hermes wdym?) 7/10
HERMES: 10/10. no explanation. my man right there. i literally scream & cream every time i see him. why is he so fine. not a single panel or clip where he looks bad. pls eat me out, sir i beg. i will serve you. ONE CHANCE. JUST ONE?? i’m in love with him. who needs real men or women when hermes.
GOLL: she is SO ANNOYING. her eng & jp voice are both annoying asl. she’s that one character, that exists in mostly every anime, used to explain background info & battle info on other characters. brunhilde is too nice on her. she reminds me of when i first saw yachi (haikyuu) on screen. yachi, too, was annoying. but i grew to love her🫶. 1/10
BRUNHILDE: SHES SO HOT. ATE. SHE ALDNAHDISKZ. yeah, what else is there to say? 8/10
APHRODITE: she truly lives up to her version in the greek mythology. hottest woman/goddess alive. ate. her boobs, i want to squish them & bury my face in them. WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO HOLD THEM? 8/10
ZEUS: idgaf what anyone says, he’s not hot. not even his younger self. he looks like mirio (mha) turned netero (hxh). love his character tho. the eyes scared me at first. he’s hilarious. 5/10
ADAM: my friend, the one who recommended snv to me, told me he’d be more my type. he was, minus the fact that’s he literally butt fucking naked. nice ass cheeks tho. def pretty boy, his wife is hot too. i want her more😋. his line abt fighting for his children made me cry. should’ve won. i say, let hermes be uncleless & fatherless. 7/10
POSEIDON: he was fs the blueprint for adam. anywho, yk hes fine. SOOO FINE. meowing for him. he doesn’t beat hermes tho. nobody beats hermes. well, look wise at least. it was rlly hard choosing who to root for in this fight. that’s a lie, i was always on humanity’s side. sad he died:( 9/10. -1 for being a little, arrogant, narcissistic, egotistical bitch. 8/10
SASAKI KOJIRO: see, zeus coulda been hot like him at that old age. man aged like fine wine. character was a W. hot, determined, good character, funny. what else can you want from a man? 8/10
HERACLES: disappointed. so disappointed. he looked better in the disney ver. this fight was so boring for me. you’re telling me i’m supposed to watch the fight instead of ogling at hot characters? no. character was okay. 6/10
JACK THE RIPPER: massive L. not supporting a murderer. next. 0/10
SHIVA: hot from the beginning. 4 arms? do what you want to me, sir. 3 WIVES? tengen (kny), is that you bro?😭 anywho, he’s cocky, def my type irl LMAO. i wouldn’t let that slide tho.. his wives are hot too😋 8/10
RAIDEN TAMEEMON: i paid very little attention to this fight. don’t remember his backstory too well (i read this fight not even 24 hours ago btw). not that good looking, not ugly either. i liked his character, upset he took 3 of shiva’s arms. why 3? why not 2? he got 1 arm left. 4/10
BUDDHA: THATS MY GOD RIGHT THERE. ate. i’m not religious, and neither are my family, but they are buddhist, so by default, i am too. i personally think buddhism is the best religion, but we’re not gonna get into that. i have very valid reasons btw. love his personality, love his looks. massive W. ofc he fights for humanity. he’s a walking W. 9/10
ZEROFUKU: precious. definition of deserved better. what made me sad, is how he was written during the fight. he’s consistently hitting, with little to no strategy. his backstory is sad, but his battle exp was written poorly. also the random ass monster possessing took me tf out. 7/10
HADES: fine ass mf. he’s so different from how he’s usually portrayed, both look & personality wise. the first W netflix has pulled. he’s hot and responsible? persephone, we can share him babes. also, the relationship between him & poseidon made me SOB. like actually. hurt so bad i made an angst edit. 9/10
QIN SHI HUANG: first off, i don’t do research on my own ethnicity’s history. i didn’t even know who tf lu bu was. my family knew tho. with that aside, PROUD TO BE CHINESE❗️ he’s so fine. SO FINE. the way his character was written, was wonderful. i loved the fight between him & hades. the tension & the lengths they went to try & win. 9/10
BEELZEBUB: his backstory was so tragic. what i didn’t like, was how they rushed his & lilith’s story. like, they kinda randomly said i love you to each other. i’d love to see their adventures tgt. lilith, leave that emo thing, and come be w me. he’s fine too. i rlly like how they introduced him. 8/10
NIKOLA TESLA: i don’t have much of an opinion on him. very chatty, which i don’t actually mind. i guess we’ll have to wait for more chapters to release before i form an opinion on him. 5/10
ODIN: the hair bro. THE HAIR. i keep forgetting he exists, but i’m not his biggest fan. not bad, but i prefer his sons. i do like the theory of him being a traitor. he looks the part. 5/10
LOKI: honestly, i liked him a lot in the beginning, but now, it’s like he’s kinda on the side. cute & hot. thor is the better brother tho. speaking of, how tf are they even brothers? moving on, i like his personality. i like his shocked, mixed w angry, facial expressions more. 7/10
ARES: the hair again. very stylish, i do like it, but it took me out. walking around looking like a school girl. i don’t like how he tries to be a know-it-all w hermes, when he literally relies on him for info. but that’s my man for you. his expressions are SO WELL. 6/10
ADAMAS: i was awfully confused, at first, when there were 3 older brothers to zeus. usually, it’s just hades, poseidon & zeus. not his biggest fan, his character was rushed. 4/10
BONUSES
JESUS: i was very happy to see jesus. i’m not sure why, i just was. why is he the only character, THAT LOOKS LIKE THEMSELVES? 9/10
LU BU SIMP AGENCY: 10/10. i don’t need to say anymore. W cheng gong. love that man.
FORSETI: what a loser. he was so annoying. 2/10
EVE: mother? mommy? whatever. MEOW. 9/10
SASAKI SIMP AGENCY: love them as well. 10/10. walking Ws all around.
i don’t think i’m missing anyone, am i?
#record of ragnarok#ror#snv#shuumatsu no valkyrie#hermes ror#thor ror#lu bu ror#zeus ror#adam ror#poseidon ror#sasaki kojiro ror#hercules ror#heracles ror#shiva ror#raiden tameemon#buddha ror#zerofuku ror#loki ror#hades ror#qin shi huang ror#beelzebub ror#nikola tesla ror#brunhilde ror#ares ror#aphrodite ror#adamas ror#odin ror
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DEALER -
[ ot7 x reader ]
LAYOVER OUT SOON!!!
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
jimin: just won rock paper scissors against jungkook!!
jk: you punched me in the face
namjoon: ??
jin: deserved
y/n: LMAO
hobi: i’m sorry that happened to you
yoongi: hope it hurt
tae: did you hit him back?
jk: y/n told me to stop hitting people
y/n: i did say that
i think
tae: okay is she ur mother??
jk: i wish
jin: what???
namjoon: you were hitting people?
y/n: biting too
jimin: he’s into incest
y/n: never say that again
jk: i’m sorry
namjoon: i’m tired already
hobi: i think it’s time i got my wings guys🕊️💔
jin: honey bbq sounds great rn 😋
jimin: he’s talking about dying fatass…
jk: don’t die hobi!!!!!!
jin: oh
boring
hobi: spread spread my wings
y/n: lalalalalala
hobi: she gets it
tae: yoongi
yoongi: what
tae: was just checking you were still alive
yoongi: don’t do it again
jimin: tae be honest is love me again about jennie
tae: SHUT UP??????
jin: you guys broke up?
jk: again??
yoongi: yikes
hobi: cheer up baby 💗
namjoon: hope ur ok
y/n: if i was her i would leave you too
tae: she never left me wtf
no one would ever leave ME
like come on
jimin: so you guys were together is what i’m hearing??
tae: NO
i’m just saying
yoongi: i like when you say nothing
tae: you like me🥺????
yoongi omg 💗💗💓💓💓💞💞💞💞
jk: did she leave you because you like yoongi?
yoongi: i just threw up
tae: SHE DID NOT LEAVE ME
GET IT OUT OF UR HEADS
NO ONE LEAVES KIM TAEHYUNG
y/n: first stage is deniallll
tae: pls stop taking
yoongi: u first
tae: guys i think yoongi wants me really bad
yoongi: just threw up for the second time
hobi: proof??
namjoon: why would you want proof of that?
hobi: maybe i’m severely mentally unwell namjoon
y/n: right back off namjoon
namjoon: sighs
jimin: we all have our demons
namjoon: u guys are mine
jin: that’s kinda sexual if you think about it
jk: no??
jin: stfu??
jk: 😰😰😰
pls don’t say that to me i’ll cry
jin: BITCH
jk: 😭 this is me rn
y/n : do you think jennie left tae cuz she finally found out he’s broke??
jimin: WAITTT PROBABLY
jin: bet he couldn’t pay for his flight back home when they went paris
she knew she had to end things there and then
tae: THAT WAS NOT ME WITH HER IN PARIS
jk: idk bro…
namjoon: are you sure??
we wouldn’t judge you if it was
yoongi: i would
y/n: me 2
jin: and me
hobi: me 4
jimin: 5
jk: 6…
hobi: she could do so much better
jin: her type is ugly
wasn’t she with g-dragon 💀💀
y/n: LMAOSOS
that’s saying ALOT gdragon to tae THATS CRAZZZZY
ur ugly bro
tae: okay wtf
never call me bro again
we are not bros we kiss eachother on the lips occasionally
AND SHE DATED KAI SO FUCK YOU??
LIKE WERE YOU NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM A FEW MONTHS AGO???
jimin: there is no way you weren’t with her
why do you know so much about her dating history??
tae: BECAUSE IT WAS EVERYWHERE?????
jin: sounds like a jealous ex to me
hobi: obsessed and sad
tae: FUCK YOU ALL
jk: you would love to fuck me
yoongi: ???
y/n: woah
namjoon: oh
jk: sorry
jimin: HE SAID YES GUYS 🎉🎉🎉
hobi: who??
jk: what was the question?
jimin: will you marry me
jk: ?? no
hobi: WHO???
jin: not taemin that’s for sure
tae: hobi sound like and owl rn 😂😂
y/n: ur not funny
namjoon: didn’t laugh
yoongi: at all
tae: the way yoongi dick rides is insane
think for urself for once
jk: no cuz yoongi creaming on that shit fr 😭
y/n: jungkook….
jk: sorry
jimin: lmao why wouldn’t it be taemin for sure??
nothing is sure in this life
jin: trust me taemin does NOT want you
like at all
jimin: how would you know?
hobi: who are you marrying??
jin: just trust me
i KNOW
jimin: you don’t know SHIT bitch
jin: whatever
hobi: WHO ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED TO OMG??
jimin: i lied
just wanted to spice it up in here
hobi: lord give me coke
jk: i think it’s strength??
not coke
hobi: i said what i said
y/n: tae can get you coke
tae: no i can’t
namjoon: at this point i need coke to put up with all ur shit
hobi: namjoon the only real one i’m telling you
jimin: been telling you joon on that stuff
no one believed me
now look
cracked out in-front of us all
y/n: yikes
namjoon: it’s rough being friends with you all
hobi: i was lying about the coke
i think he really on the stuff guys
tae: should i call the police
jin: are you not the dealer??
they’ll lock you up with him
tae: STOP SAYING THAT
NAMJOON TELL THEM TO STOP
I DO NO DRUGS
namjoon: stop
hobi: druggie
yoongi: what a sad life
y/n: dealer dealer dealerrrrrr
tae: NAMJOON THEY ARENT LISTENING TELL THEM AGAIN
namjoon: stop.
jimin: crack baby
jk: tae this isn’t a good life choice
tae: NAMJOOOOONNNNNNNNN
namjoon: i quit
jin: i’m hungry
jimin: tell us something we don’t know
y/n: be a man eat pussy or go hunt
[ yoongi liked this message ]
hobi: AWOMANNNN
jin: is that u inviting me over 🙈
jk: NO
ITS NOT
tae: if jungkook was a dog he would be one of those skinny racer dogs
y/n: you would be a chiwawa
jimin: truth
tae: yoongi would be a pug
jin: they look like their existence hurts
y/n: LMAOOOO
yoongi: kinda real
namjoon: why are you indulging tae’s furry habbits??
hobi: right i could throw up rn
tae: see this is the norm nowadays
y/n: no it’s not
jimin: never
jin: ew
tae: THE SWITCH UP???????
INSANE
can i breathe like wow
jk: woof
jin: stop
jk: my fault 😔
hobi: should we take jungkook to see someone?
jk: NO???
IM LOYAL THANK U VERY MUCH
I WILL SEE NOT A SOUL
tae: ur not in a relationship
jk: OK?????
y/n: cute
hobi: i’m talking medically
jimin: he’s past medical help
yoongi: should of done that at 16
jin: i’m begging actually
fix him!!!
namjoon: you all need medical help
as soon as possible tbh
tae: some more than others
y/n: tae you are broke and deal drugs
like how is that even possible
you are BROKE and deal DRUGS
the maths isn’t there
jimin: someone save him
tae: SHUT UP SHUTUPSHUTUPPPPPPP
jin is literally big as hell
jin: HELLO WTF DID I DO???
AND BODY SHAMING REALLY LIKE JUST CUZ YOU DONT HAVE THE FUNDS TO FEED URSELF
hobi: this is why jennie left
tae: hobi u look 12
yoongi: weak as hell
hobi: also not true at all
jk: 12 out of 10!!!!!
hobi: i’m blushingg😊☺️
jk: stop
hobi: oh
tae: namjoon is a shit leader
namjoon: ???? okay
if ur unhappy here you are free to leave taehyung
jk: WOAH WOAH WOAH
y/n: OOOOOOOO
he said ur full name
that’s crazy
yoongi: leave
tae: ummmm wtf
take that back rn
joon what the hell 😢😢😢😢😢😢
i’m so upset
wtf is wrong with you
TAKE IT BACK
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😥😥😥😥😥😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😥😥😥😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓
omg…
wow he’s really mad at me
after all i’ve done
wow
i feel so worthless
im just an idiot
everyone hates me
namjoon: ???
tae: do you not love me??
jimin: no
namjoon: i’m confused…
tae: u just slapped me across the face
namjoom: i’m sorry?
tae: it’s okay i forgive you i guess 😕
just say u take it back
namjoon: i take it back??
hobi: a typical gaslighter at work
y/n: namjoon ur too soft
namjoon: what just happened
jimin: ur weak
hobi: smh smh
jin: i hope layover flops
tae: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
NAMJOON WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT
namjoon: jin why did you say that
jin: i stand by it
he called me big
FOR NO REASON
jennie is NEVER loving you again
tae: LET HER GO
jin: YOU FIRST
jk: guys don’t shout yoongi gets headaches
yoongi: i do
jimin: old as hell
yoongi: what?
jimin: nothing
y/n: idk if you guys know this but ur strange
hobi: and ur not??
y/n: do you want to fight rn?
hobi: with our tongues?
y/n: strange
tae: stranger things
jimin: u the strangest thing ong 💀🙏🏼
tae: ong?
jimin: the one and only
tae: Oh my god this New album called layover is so Good?
jimin: he’s delusional oh my god
jk: hobi why haven’t you been singing today i miss it
hobi: i’m a changed man
jk: change back pls im upset
hobi: i’m a lover i’m a loser
jk: thank u
hobi: 🙏🏼
namjoon: we have a meeting in 10
jin: don’t care
y/n: hours?? minutes? seconds? DAYS???
yoongi: vague as hell
jimin: give us more than that namjoon
namjoon: sorry forgot u guys lacked common sense
jk: OMG???
that’s not nice at all is it?
tae: meeting???
i’m not even in the country rn wtf
jin: DONT TELL ME HES STILL STUCK IN PARIS OH MY GODDDDDF
BROKE BOY ALERTTTTTTTT
tae: I AM NOt
that was AGES ago get a grip
jin: where are you then
tae: don’t worry
jin: trust me i’m not
tae: kys
namjoon: wydm ur not in the country???
tae: lmao?
y/n: YIKESSSSS
namjoon: i give up
hobi: you said that already
namjoon: i mean it this time
jimin: damn
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#namjoon x reader#jin x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#jimin x reader#taehyung x reader#jungkook x reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga x reader#v x reader#jhope x reader#hobi x reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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Operation: Protect The Kid
Brotherly Jake Seresin x Reader
Warnings:past child abuse, confrontation happens, religious guilt tactic is used against the oc, insecurity/self doubt,reader is 23—jake is 36, Jake protecting his wingman/woman idk, sprinkle of curse words, mentions of alcoholism
Summary: “I’d never thought…I was worth being protected and saved. Since I was a little girl the only two words I knew were unlovable and broken”. Tilliy sighed, placing her head on Jake’s shoulder.
ofc:Tilly Lewis/ i couldn’t think of a callsign.
AN: this is the fic from the poll, i’ve started like 3 diff fics and finished half way trying to nail a brotherly jake. I made Tilly’s and Jakes age gap bigger, even tho cannoically I feel like Jake way younger than 36, and also i feel their relationship is bro/sis whilst also being mentor/mentee— since Tilly probably graduated like year or two ago. Enjoy reading ❤️ :)
- kinda short/kinda long, idk if i like the ending
—
Everytime I look in the mirror, I see the little girl who gotten beaten for just breathing and teenage me getting knocked around for looking in their direction.
—
It was small things at first. Smackings across the face, belt marks covering her ass, soap in her mouth each and everytime her parents deemed she talked out of turn. It’s normal— Tilliy thought as a little girl, it was drilled into her head like that..not until her freshman year of college she spent thirty minutes in her dorm crying after a child abuse seminar did she realize it wasn’t.
“Matilda Patrice Lewis, you look at me when I’m talking to you”. a belt ripped across her back. “I don’t love you sweetheart, and to be honest no one ever will”.
“Don’t cheat” Hangman smirked handing her a poolstick, before he walked away to get another beer.
They noticed Tilly first, before she could even get a chance to hide. She ignored the feeling of danger lingering around her, shrugged it off as guilt from the uranium mission still in lingerin. Its been so long since Tilly had to protect herself that she forgot the feeling of hatred and anger getting closer.
“Sunday’s is for worshipping god, not for drinking with the devil Matilda”, Tilly inhaled heavily—she hoped that voice didn’t belong to her, quite honestly Tilly had long gone forgotten her mother’s voice only time she remembered it is when she’s was having a bad day. Like always her mother had a way when with commanding attention to herself, Tilly could feel her mother’s anger—it was getting thicker and thicker by the minute.
“Matilda, dear I recognize those ugly back scars from anywhere”, Yeah because you and dad put them there, Tilly so badly wanted to say but her inner conscious reminded her father was behind her mother—and he never hesitated to beat the shit out of her.
Tilly had no choice but turn around, she always did feel cowardly under her mother’s gaze.
“Oh Matilda we’ve been waiting for you come home”, her eyes glistening with the tears, her shoulders close to shaking— if only she meant it, if only her mother’s sadness and her father’s grimy face were actually sincere. Too many lessons nagged at Tilly’s face, the memories of beatings coming back at full speed. “How can we love someone so broken?”.
“Inhale and exhale.. Tilly, your parents have no control over you any more… you are free”, Doctor Mandy words echoed in her mind.
“You left us alone Matilda, we didn’t know if our daughter was okay”, her father spoke, “Do you not love us?”.
Tilly shrinks back at that, does she love them?, do they finally love her?
She feels someone step behind her, she immediately realized who it was his cologne is a dead giveaway. Hangman. Tilly slighty caught his stance out of the side of her eye, protective and angry.
“Are you okay Tilly?”, before she got a chance to speak she was cut off by her mother’s harsh words. “Matilda, her name is Matilda— Tilly is too childish for a twenty three year old woman”.
“With all do respect ma’am Tilly, Is what she wants to go by and I fully respect it”. Jake says with a fake smile, any chance too show off his teeth.
“We weren’t speaking to you boy”, her father bit out, and Tilly could see his alcohol rotted teeth, three to five packs of beer a day coming back to bite him in the ass.
“I’m Jake Seresin, Tilly’s bestfriend and wingman” Jake held up his hand, not giving either a chance to speak a word. “You two, should be proud of your daughter because despite being shitty parents, Tilly made sure she didn’t become like y’all”.
“We—”, her mother tried again.
“I’m not done”. Jake crossed his arms over his chest.“You too need to listen, Tilly owes you both nothing… she had a choice to walk away from you both and yet here she is for some damn reason hearing you too out”.
“Goodbye Matilda” her father says and her mother look almost disappointed that Tilly didn’t fall for her trap again. They didn’t give Tilly a chance to answer, they both turn on their heel. The sound of the hard deck door closing was the best sound she’s ever heard.
“Thank you”, Tilly says and its barely above a whisper.
“No need to welcome me kiddo”, Jake drapes a arm over Tillys’s tender shoulders, easily relaxing her. ”You have my six, I have your six”.
“C’mere kiddo” Jake softly commanded, his eyes are softer than ever, “I love you Tilly”. Tilly fell into his embrace— she finally allowed herself to breakdown, the nagging pain of a little girl who had only wanted to be loved was far too much to hold back this time around.
“I’m sorry Jake”, she whispered into his chest.
“For what Tilly?”, he’s rubbing his hand up and down her back.
“For…not being brave enough to stand up for myself” a sob falls from her mouth. “Im so sorry”.
“Oh…Tilly, you’ve been brave for too long— you need to know there someone in your corner”. he pressed a kiss into Tilly’s head.
“Ok”
“Come on kid, lets go back to my place”. Lets go home.
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vampire cartman obsessed with randomly marking his gf through out the day 🤭🤭
Omg yesssss
I’m taking this as a sign to give Vamp Cartman hcs because I wanna so bad 👉👈
For the purpose of writing she’s gonna be human because why not
Btw it’s probably gonna be in a different color than normal BECAUSE TUMBLR IS BEING WEIRD AND I CAN’T SEE SHIT
NSFW CONTENT (because I suck and my brain stopped working)
Vampire!Cartman x reader
• You have marks ALL over you because your stupid vampire bf can’t keep his lips to himself. Your friends are super confused too, they keep asking why you have lil dots all over your thighs when you wear shorts. I mean they know why you have bite marks but why’s there dots?? You know why and it’s so embarrassing
• Cartman found it really cute that when he first starting biting you and stuff you would cry or your eyes would water
• IT WAS LIKE, THE CUTEST THING TO HIM! He loved it when you did that (Cough he’s into dacryphilla cough) so ofc when you ya know, stopped doing that he got kinda sad
• I mean you were getting used to the feeling, and it was hot-
• But anyways, he got kinda pissed about it and started biting you harder just to see you cry a bit. He felt kinda bad but meh, you would’ve stopped him if you didn’t like it. He gave up at some point but he did sulk for a while
• I mean Cartman eventually got over it, he can make you cry in different way anyways. And that's good enough for him
• Never letting go of this, you have to pry it out of my cold dead corpse hands. HE LICKS YOUR TEARS AND HE LIVES FOR THE CUTE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU CRY. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU LOOK UGLY HE SECRELY THINKS ITS CUTE AND HE'LL LITERALLY NEVER TELL YOU
• Now you're gonna question me on this- YOU'RE GONNA QUESTION ME AND THE PERSON WHO GAVE ME THE IDEA, BUT HE LIKES TO EAT YOU OUT ON YOUR PERIOD
• I MEAN BLOOD- AND YOU??? HELL YEAH HE'S GONNA LOVE IT
• Might be a smidge grossed out at first but then he's like "welllllllll-"
• Anyways, he loves teasing you and biting your chest and your thighs. It's like, the best thing ever for him
• Because he's a vampire I guess he's technically undead so- no babies for y'all. WHICH IS KINDA GOOD THAT MEANS HE GETS TO CUM IN YOU ALL HE WANTS AND NO RISK
• Tbh, your blood is the sweetest to him and that's kinda what attracted him to you. Pretty lady and good tasting blood?? Hell yeah
• If you get high a lot expect him too also, bro can just t a s t e the weed in your blood. Dude gets high off your blood and that's just his favorite way to now
• When he gets high off your blood he gets so impossibly horny and he's so desperate. He's willing to sub when he gets like that because just wants you so so bad
• Please for the love of god overstim him he's gonna cry under you and it's so pathetic and adorable ahhhhh
• He probably has vampire strength and man handles you on accident all the time, and YOU FUCKING LOVE IT (kicking my feet while thinking about being man handled because I have problems)
• For a vampire, he really likes biting. And when I say that I don't mean he bites you (I mean yeah but I'm not talking about that rn) he loves being bit it's so weird but he melts when you do
• He's definitely the type just bite you anywhere and everywhere if he's ya know, not gonna be killed for being a vampire
• He probably bites your shoulder all the time because he likes when it's out of nowhere and you make that cute noise you make when you get surprised
#h harleybaby needs help#south park x reader#harley’s anons <33#south park x reader headcanons#south park x y/n#cartman x reader#eric cartman x reader#mom come get harley she’s rambling#eric cartman x y/n#harley thirsts#harley’s requests!
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TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 3
Hunter: Knock, knock.
Omega: Who's there?
Hunter: Boo!
Omega: Boo who?
Hunter: Why are you crying?
Omega: I'm not crying
Hunter: Hello notcrying, I'm Hunter.
Wrecker: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.
Tech: So, you’re not going to share?
Wrecker: I’m not going to share.
Echo: What happened?!
Hunter: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Echo: Sh-short??
Hunter: Shit's fucked.
Echo: Okay, long.
Hunter: Shit's very fucked.
Crosshair, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.
Wrecker: You're kinda ugly.
Hunter: Be careful about succumbing to these sorts of destructive... urges. Addiction can be a powerful thing.
Crosshair: So am I. Bow down before your new supreme overlord, bitches.
Tech: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city.
Omega: Well, that was entirely predictable.
Tech: One of them punched a gang member.
Omega: Echo?
Tech: Crosshair, actually.
Omega: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.
Wrecker: How’s practice going?
Crosshair: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.
Wrecker: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
Crosshair: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.
Wrecker: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
Tech: What's two plus two?
Omega: Math.
Tech: ...I will accept that answer.
Echo: If you water water, it grows.
Omega: ...What.
Hunter: He’s got a point.
Crosshair: And here we see Hunter and Tech in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Hunter: Gaelic bread.
Tech: Grueling brad.
Hunter: Ha ha, glamorous beans.
Crosshair: You're a lying piece of shit!
Hunter: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Wrecker: I'm leaving and I'm taking Tech with me!
Echo, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
Echo, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go.
Tech: But how-
Echo, ignoring him: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.
Omega, texting Tech: I’m a theif.
Tech: Thief.
Omega: Theif.
Tech: I before E except after C.
Omega: Thceif.
Tech: NO.
Echo: What’s your body count?
Crosshair: Do you mean sex or murder?
Tech: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.
Tech: *yawns*
Phee: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.
Tech: Then you must be exhuasted.
Hunter: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.
Crosshair: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Echo: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Crosshair: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Echo: Somehow that's worse.
Tech: *accidentally eats something too spicy so his eyes start to water*
Omega: Tech, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know.
Tech: I'm not crying?
Omega, hugging Tech's head: Shush baby, it's okay. Hunter is here and he loves you with his whole heart.
Hunter: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
Crosshair: This unmitigated poppycock?
Wrecker: Extravagant hogwash!
Hunter: Okay, stop.
Wrecker: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Phee recently.
Tech: No, Wrecker, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Wrecker: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Tech: No! You’re the only one for me.
Wrecker: Is that so?
Tech: I promise! Phee and I are just dating, okay? She’s my partner.
Wrecker: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Tech: You are still my one and only best friend! She’s just the love of my life, nothing more!
Wrecker: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?
Tech: Of course bro!
Wrecker: Bro...
Phee: What the-
Wrecker: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.
Omega: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.
Hunter: When do you usually go to sleep?
Echo: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.
Crosshair: What are you doing here?
Wrecker: I could ask you the same question.
Crosshair: I live here. This is my house.
Wrecker: I should probably ask you a different question.
Hunter: What’s the status up here?
Crosshair: Fucked up, about to die, Tech's a nerd. The usual.
Wrecker: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Wrecker: And I started thinking.
Wrecker: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Wrecker: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Hunter: Are you ok?
Echo: *out cold on the ground*
Hunter: Oh my god, do you think he’s okay?!
Crosshair, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Echo’s face*
Crosshair: What do I get?
Wrecker: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Crosshair: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Wrecker: It won't be you.
Crosshair: I'll get my coat.
Tech: I think I need a hug...
Wrecker: Good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Tech: You... you can let go now.
Wrecker: No, I absolutely cannot.
Hunter: Why are you drinking?
Echo: I drink when I'm depressed.
Hunter: But you're always drinking?
Echo: *smug grin*
Hunter, texting: Wrecker, will you please go to sleep?
Wrecker, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?
Hunter, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!
Hunter, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?
Wrecker, texting: I’m trying
Hunter, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH
Hunter, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)
Omega: The time to act is now.
Omega: Wink, wink.
Tech: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.
Omega: Oh, sorry.
Omega: Wink.
*Wrecker falls over*
Hunter: Wrecker! Are you alright?
Wrecker: Is that you, God?
Hunter: What?
Wrecker: It's just, you sound a lot more like Hunter than I expected.
Echo: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.
Echo: *waves his finger and sings like he’s in a Disney Channel intro*
Crosshair, trying to comfort Omega: What’s the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I’ve been there.
Wrecker: Look, Tech, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and it's Monday.
Echo: :)
Crosshair: >:(
Echo: Turn that frown upside down!
Crosshair: ):<
Echo: Not sure what I was expecting...
Hunter, texting Tech: *sends a voice message*
Tech, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Hunter: No, don’t worry, just listen later.
*later*
Tech: *presses play*
Hunter's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-
Tech: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.
Hunter: Wrecker is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Tech.
Wrecker: I feel like Tech is the more responsible one of us two though.
Tech: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Wrecker: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.
Omega: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Hunter, watching Echo screaming, Crosshair trying to set a sleeping Tech on fire, and Wrecker choking on air: I don't know either.
Crosshair, laying in bed: Get out of my room.
Hunter, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.
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