a random word generator controls this website
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I suffer from the very real disease of having just read a long fanfiction
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I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled.
I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1. the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside.
Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY
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superbat fic idea: bruce and clark started dating before they knew about each other's identify and the batkids are overprotective of bruce so they tried to make clark's life miserable by sabotaging clark in ways that might be a bit too extreme at some point.
like, this one time clark came over for dinner jason put a whole bottle of laxatives in clark's food and clark ofc could tell that his food was tempered with in some way but he was so nervous he ended up eating the whole thing and ofc nothing happened to him so clark was like "oh thank god" and jason was like "what the everloving fuck" he wished he had gone with poison
another time clark came over damian hid a bunch of needles in a cushion and made sure clark sat on it bcus this is damian we're talking about he had no idea what is extreme and what's not. but then clark sat down like nothing was amiss and when damian checked it after clark went home the needles were all bent in different angles. he knew he should've put the katana instead.
or, tim hacked clark's phone to find some dirt on him bcus the background check didn't reveal anything remarkable. except he ended up seeing a bunch of bruce's noods and scarred himself for life. he might or might not have deleted some of the more scandalous pictures. and bruce might have bought clark a new phone with better security. all in all, tim would never go anywhere near clark's phone again
when every single one of their plans failed or backfired they roped dick into it and the next time clark came over while bruce wasn't there they locked him in the library and threw in a can of tear gas and smoke bomb. what they find was a very anxious clark hovering three feet above ground level pulling the heavy library doors off its hinges and frantically searching for the kids bcus he thought someone was attacking them and his first instinct was to protect bruce's children. he was still holding onto those bigass doors like they weighed nothing
so that's how they find out that bruce was dating superman
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