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Me and my irls have started a new running joke where out of the blue we will ask the imaginary chat moderators to do something incredibly specific and often threatening to “this guy”

These can range from “Mods, put a lump of coal in this guys stocking” to “mods, make this guy forget the face of his childhood pet” to “mods, make sure this guy never understands what it truly means to be loved” to “Mods, take this guy to the new facility for researching pita bread, but take away his snacks”

However, in the off chance we are feeling merciful, This Guy can have a treat if he behaves.

“Mods, give this guy some salami.” “Mods, show this guy the true meaning of Christmas.” “Mods, make sure this guy gets a long and fulfilling night of sleep and awakens tomorrow feeling prepared and able to handle the days problems.”

Most of the time I’m glad I’m not this guy because I’d rather not suddenly be afflicted with ovarian cysts as a member of the salami and meatballs club, but I think not having insomnia would be nice.

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My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

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booktok videos should be categorized as some sort of threat to public health

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Sometimes a guitar riff is to sound what a garlic hitting hot oil is to smell. You know what I mean?

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do you still have the chikorita gif

of course i still have chikorita.gif who the fuck do you think i am

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babygirl there are fandoms on my dashboard that i havent even heard of

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by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game

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if the universe were not so cruel the "Tailor Swift" would be a beautiful bird that elegantly sews its nest together

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My favorite type of scam is where someone makes an account impersonating a famous person on social media, and then just goes into DMs and asks for money while also saying a "catchphrase" in a weird attempt to make themselves look legit