#this comeback has put me in my grave never to be seen again

[noisyquokka]

Try Again

PAIRING - Hyunjin x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - After a short-lived relationship ends, Hyunjin struggles with the idea of “just friends”. Three years later, it seems you haven’t lost interest either.

WORDCOUNT - 2.9k

WARNINGS - lovers to friends to …., mutual pining, jealous!Hyunjin, a lil playful banter/angst that turns kinda steamy, kinda left open-ended... part 2 perhaps? 🤨

A/N - Literal WEEKS late, but uhhh… that’s never stopped me before! 🤭 My little addition for Hyune Day! Enjoy, Darlings! 💛

(Based loosely on Try Again - PRETTYMUCH cause I've been listening to it on repeat and it feels like a Hyunjin song to me, personally. I also wrote this to satisfy my insatiable love for watching him practice, cause let's be honest... choreographer!Hyunjin just hits different iykyk)

“Would you at least take some videos if you’re gonna bury your head in your phone?”

Your eyes sweep up to the shadow of the man who pauses his movement in the middle of the studio. Hyunjin straightens up, his fingers reaching for the brim of his hat. He pulls it off and runs his fingers through his dampened tresses, already sweaty from the past hour of practice.

“Well, excuse me, Hwang,” you mutter, resting your hand on your thigh. “I didn’t know I was summoned here to be your videographer.”

“You’re supposed to be critiquing my choreo so far.”

He’s been working on this choreo for his new solo, and while he didn’t expect you to drop in, he knows Minho has some part in you ending up here. Why? Because he was stupid enough to spill his feelings to him in full confidence that Minho would keep his mouth shut. One could say he kept his word, but still, he plays with fire in his process.

“Ah, right…” God, is it fun to ponder your next remark. You smirk as you watch him reach for the open water bottle near him. “Not enough sneaker squeaks.”

His hand pauses mid-drink, bourbon eyes cutting to your proud little grin. Your eyes are already back on the phone in your grip, tapping away like you’re texting someone. For a moment, Hyunjin is itching to know who it could be. But then he reminds himself that you’re not together anymore. He tilts his head slightly, tries not to let it bother him.

“You’re so unserious, my god,” Hyunjin mutters, and swipes at his forehead with a huff.

Your grin turns into a playful lip bite, and you can’t help but tease him a little.

“I’m being completely serious.” Your eyes find him again, and he exhales heavily. “The sneaker squeaks are an essential part of the performance. How will anyone memorize your routine if they can’t count the squeaks?”

“Okay.” He scoffs, pushing his hair back and putting his hat back on, swiftly turning back to his Bluetooth. You mock him with your typical Hwang Hyunjin voice, not noticing the way he shakes his head and smirks to himself.

Hyunjin taps the play button on his phone, taking a deep breath as he readies himself for another run-through.

It’s been hours since he started working on this specific number, and while the comeback wasn’t for a couple of months, he thought getting ahead of schedule would be nice. However, your being around brought on a difficulty to slip into the choreographer head space. Ever since his conversation with Minho, and Minho's comment about how you quote-unquote very well feel the same, I mean, have you seen the way they look at you?!, he’s been the embodiment of a goldfish in a bowl. He wishes things would’ve started off better because apparently, this lovers-to-friends plot line was only digging his early grave. Hyunjin’s fairly certain that after you two broke up, you only agreed to stay friends because you made good connections with the rest of the boys.

The rational side of him knows that’s not the truth.

Fucking less than five months and the metaphorical flames fizzle like a defective sparkler.

The only problem is that those feelings never fizzled for him. Even now, his heart stutters in his chest when you lock eyes with him. When you give him one of your little grins and cock your head as if to say you’ve won in the various dumb debates that you love to drag each other into.

Like right now.

“Seungmin agrees with me,” you say, standing up and shoving your phone at him right as he begins the dance. Hyunjin’s brows raise, blinking and tilting his head in a non-verbal question to get you to move.

“Seungmin agrees with you because it’s a dumb argument… and it’s you versus me.” he mutters the last part, watching you roll your eyes and backtracking to your spot.

“If you’re so confident in this, why am I still here?”

“You could leave,” Hyunjin says, his exertion making his comment sound harsher than he meant it to be. He locks eyes with yours in the mirror, his dark tresses falling in his line of sight. The smirk that threatens to quirk his lips sneaks in when you seemingly freeze on the spot, your eyes wider than usual. “I know you’ve got work in the morning.”

You’re mulling it over in your head now — a glimmer in your eye that Hyunjin pinpoints as he attempts to keep track of where he is in the choreography. He watches your eyes sweep to the phone, most likely checking the time. It’s roughly 1:00 am. You lock eyes again, the answer clear before you speak.

“Well, now I’m not leaving since you want me to.”

He gives a sardonic laugh, rolls his eyes as his foot slips and he misses a beat. Distractions…

“I didn’t say that,” he replies lowly, snatching the towel off the top of the stereo.

“You’re mumbling…”

“I said I didn’t say that,” Hyunjin speaks up, his hand bringing the fabric to his face to pat the sweat from his skin. You watch the drops of sweat as they drip off the ends of his hair when he pulls his hat off, and you feel the need to clear your throat. And then the towel is thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. All it has you doing is a double-take on the black tee shirt he’s wearing. The way it hugs his shoulders and chest should be outlawed, you think.

But then he reaches for the open bottle of water again, and you purse your lips. It’s another short swig, a singular drop of water escaping from the corner of his mouth. It travels down his chin, slowly slipping down the length of his neck, your eyes trained on the path it follows. It stops just before the collar of his black tee and you question why it’s suddenly hotter in the studio.

You swallow, forcing your gaze away and back to your phone before Hyunjin can witness any more of your blatant ogling. As you return your gaze to your phone, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You’re not embarrassed, not really, but the idea of getting caught sends your brain into overdrive.

“Still waiting on some critique I can work with~” he sing-songs, placing the bottle and towel back beside his phone.

“Maybe I don’t have anything to say,” you reply, and he chuckles.

“You?! With nothing to say? That’s a first.” He walks over, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest.

With the wave of feelings you’re dealing with, Hyunjin’s comment has you bristling. You glare up at him as he arches a brow at you as if challenging you to say something. That stupid smirk quirks his lips. Butterflies swarm in your gut.

“Fine, then.” You lean forward, propping your forearm on your knee as the two of you stare each other down. “You’ve been favoring your right leg through the entire first verse of the song, your hip rolls aren’t deep enough during the chorus, you seem undecided on whether the overall choreo should be slower or faster—” You list off each critique on your fingers, and while Hyunjin wanted your genuine criticism to work toward a better overall performance, he’s clocked out to what you’re saying. His eyes sweep over your face as you continue listing the things he could improve, and he grins at the way your eyes seem to glow in the studio lighting. A fire. Passion for the things he’s passionate about.

“—And another… thing…” Your voice drops to a surprised whisper almost instantly when you feel Hyunjin’s fingers curl under your chin, feather-light against your skin. You blink, realizing just how close he’s gotten, having bent down so his elbows rest on his knees. His head cocks slightly, tongue darting out to lick the corner of his lips. Brown eyes flicker down to yours a moment later.

“Another thing?” Hyunjin repeats, his tone a low murmur. His breaths mingle with yours, your heart beating erratically in such close proximity. His index finger runs the span of your jaw as he stares, a tangible connection that still feels natural and electric to him. A reminder of the silent tension that has always lingered.

The familiar scent of his cologne clouds your senses. It brings you back to the nights he used to spend at your apartment, with the two of you watching K-dramas until 3:00 am. Your bodies a mess of limbs in your bed, his distracting kisses up your neck until you’d try to playfully shove him away. He’d reach for your jaw to pull you in for soft kisses that would evolve into slow and lazy make-outs in his arms. Your eyes dart down at the reminder, and you mentally curse yourself.

“I, Uh.” you stammer out a few words before falling silent, your eyes fixated on his. The moment hangs in the air, the tension between you thick and palpable.

Something, something, boundaries… Something, something, self-control…

Hyunjin can’t help the sly grin, feeling the skin under his touch move when you swallow. All logic has left you in favor of longing for those familiar caresses you had years ago. It sure hasn’t changed, every subtle brush of his fingers ushers forth shivers down your spine. You are teetering on the edge of a cliff, the question being do you jump? You want to. Hell, with the way Hyunjin’s gaze keeps darting down, you can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling the same way.

You attempt to regain control of yourself, but it’s futile — your focus is lost, distracted by the proximity of his lips. Fuck, is he leaning in…

“Your expressions.” You finally manage, the only lingering critique swirling around in your head. “They, uh, could be sharper…” You say, watching Hyunjin sharpen his gaze like a conniving fox. And like a trickster, his fingers drag from your jaw to your neck, dark eyes following its path until the steady thrum of your pulse halts his journey. Your eyes drink him in, lips parted as Hyunjin’s brow twitches in a knowing gesture.

We can’t do this, not after all this time.

The silence crackles with anticipation. You’re fairly certain that Hyunjin knows some part of this is dangerous cause he hesitates for a moment. But then he’s leaning in, his thumb tracing circles against your neck. You mirror his movements, so close that this sliver of distance feels like a challenge. Unspoken desire hums between you two, a heat that has always lingered, just waiting for the right moment to reignite.

Just friends…

The soft brush of Hyunjin’s lips against yours slams the factory reset on your thoughts, mental gymnastics be damned. The tension snaps like a rubber band. You finally give in, capturing his mouth in a meaningful liplock. It feels like no time has passed - he still kisses you with the same careful tenderness that he always has. That familiar heat runs through your body as you sink into him, chasing his lips when he pulls away for a split second only to recapture yours with a fervor.

Your phone is forgotten in your lap, hands sliding up his chest in a new wave of confidence. You pull him closer and Hyunjin groans softly, his free hand coming up to brace his weight against the wall behind you. Your mouths move together in a seamless rhythm, your kisses growing hungrier and more desperate. The brim of his hat grazes your forehead and you slip one of your hands higher into his hair, hooking your finger around the strap. It falls to the floor with a dull thud, allowing your fingers to rake freely through his dark tresses. A subtle pull that has him smirking against your mouth.

Hyunjin pulls back slightly, his fingers sliding from your neck to your jaw. Your lips part in a sigh as you both sit there on the floor of the dance studio, panting against each other’s mouths. Eyes closed, you feel his forehead rest against yours, your noses brushing. You bite your lip, savoring the warmth of his skin on yours.

“I’ve missed this,” he tells you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Me too.” You murmur, lashes fluttering. God, what an understatement. You’ve been close even after you ended things, with friendly shoves and your usual back-and-forth banter. But the feel of his warm hands against your skin, the comfort of his close presence, his plush lips. This is what you’ve truly been craving.

His scent lingers in your lungs, his heart beating steady beneath your palm. You feel Hyunjin’s fingers knead the skin of your jaw, tilting your head up so he can come back for another chaste kiss that soothes the ache in your chest. He pulls back, pressing his lips to your forehead as he shifts to sit beside you on the studio floor, his back to the wall. You lean back, resting your head against the wall, your eyes locked on the ceiling.

Silence… as comfortable as it’s always been with the man beside you, you despise it right now. It only has you in your head after both of your confessions. What does it mean for you two?

Your gaze wanders back to his. Only those browns are already looking back, a softness in them that has always been there when they’re looking at you. Hyunjin gives you a half grin, reaching out for your nearest hand and slipping his fingers between your own. His thumb caresses the back of your hand as you both sit there, minutes passing by.

“You’re not going to say anything, are you?” Hyunjin’s voice shatters the silence, staring up at the ceiling.

“We should be running through what not to do when you stay friends with your ex right about now,” You’re half joking, but your tone is more tense than nonchalant. Hyunjin laughs under his breath, looking at you from the corner of his eye. You don’t look at him, but you feel him squeeze your hand lightly.

“You should know how difficult it is to stay friends with an ex.”

“Oh, is it?” A small huff escapes your mouth, and you steal another glance, licking your lips.

“You don’t need me to tell you why, do you?” Hyunjin replies, his voice a low murmur. His head turns to you, his gaze fixed on your lips as you bite at them nervously. “You could have cut all contact with me. You could have moved on and we would have gone our separate ways…”

“I didn’t want to do that.” You admit. Your fingers twitch in his palm, pads running over small callouses and lines as you try to distract yourself with something. Anything. His hand wraps around yours again, squeezing firmer this time. A gesture of reassurance.

“I didn’t either.”

You swallow, picking your gaze off your entwined hands, and your heart skips a beat when you meet his eyes.

“We’re gonna have to decide what this is, aren’t we?” You say, the words sounding more serious than intended. Hyunjin does respond immediately. He just stares, his eyes awash in a mix of emotions you can’t quite decipher. He breathes in, tilting his head slightly.

“Yeah…” He says, his voice low and steady. The weight of that realization settles on his chest, but Hyunjin shakes his head and offers you a genuine grin. “Maybe after a good night’s rest.”

“And a shower.” You smirk, pulling away from him in a joking fashion. But he pulls you back into him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You screw your face up and he rolls his eyes.

“Didn’t hear you complaining with my lips on yours just a moment ago.” He teases, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. You huff a laugh, leaning back against him.

“Hard to complain when you’re a good kisser.” you counter, bringing a hand up to his shoulder.

“Ah, couldn’t forget that over the years?” Hyunjin mutters, a hint of playfulness in his tone. His lips connect to the junction of your jaw, slowly trailing kisses down the hollow of your neck. Your fingers dig into his shoulder blade, your lashes fluttering over your cheeks.

“I don’t think I ever could.”

Your words send a rush of satisfaction through him and he nips at the sensitive skin just behind your ear. This closeness and playful back and forth is what he’s missed. A comfort that he never wanted to let go of. Even now, as the clock nears 2:00 am.

You capture his face in your hands and pull him back up with little argument, your thumb tracing the corner of his lips.

You don’t realize he’s leaning in again until you feel his lips on yours. It’s a slow and tender kiss this time, but the passion behind it burns hot. You revel in the subtle way he pulls you in, his hand falling off your shoulder to find purchase at your lower back.

Hyunjin eases up, and you’re left breathless yet again, your heart thumping in your chest.

“You gonna be able to sleep after this?” He asks, a sly grin curling his lips.

“Old habits die hard…” You breathe, pulling him in once again.

Psst!! If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #stray kids x reader #skz x you #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #skz x reader #hwang hyunjin scenarios #skz hyunjin #hwang hyunjin imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #hwang hyunjin x you #stray kids x gender neutral reader #stray kids drabbles #hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader #skz drabbles #hwang hyunjin drabbles #gn reader #x gender neutral reader #quokkawritings🌻

[lovepaintt]

ONEUS REALLY DID NOT COME TO PLAY WITH THIS COMEBACK HUH

#bex.txt #oneus #era: black mirror #i am #speechless #i have no words #this comeback has put me in my grave never to be seen again #oneus never disappoints ofc but i just.... *chefs kiss* #ngl when i heard retro vibe i was scared LOL #the only thing in my head were the recent retro songs like dynamite and I was just... no #goodbye I'll be listening to this song non stop for several months

[ricaffeine]

𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫

a/n: finally i updated this lol. i hope you guys haven’t lost interest in this AU yet :( this took me two excruciating nights to write so it’d mean a lot if you’d leave any kind of feedback!! you know it makes it makes my hours of suffering worthy haha, anyways i hope you enjoy this, the next chapter will be very fun hehehe <3 (it’s 2am rn isn’t it great, enjoyyy;)

CHAPTER FIVE

It’s like a faint breath when he gradually breaks away from their kiss, ever so gingerly as his face swells into her cloudy vision. The droplets of rain that collapse onto her skin cause her to shiver, however her eyes strain on him. Deliberately she studies his tense features, drops of water glide down his breathtaking face, and Kangtae quips back from his stare that was directed behind her, his breathy voice matches her trembling breath. 

“Are you okay?”

Her heart hammers in her chest as she blinks rapidly, Munyeong forces down a gulp. For the first time in her life she couldn’t think of a snarky comeback. What was she supposed to answer? I’m okay? 

Shakily, she clutches onto the fabric of his shirt and her one-track mind blurts out.

“I’m hungry.”

-

A sharp ring blares into the silence as they step into the convenience store, decently warm air greets their entrance and passive employees don’t take note of their presence. Munyeong squeamishly glances around as she seats herself to an empty table he has brought her to. “When I told you I was hungry, I didn’t think you were going to bring me to this kind of place.” 

 Kangtae lets out a breath and retorts. “So you expected me to bring a fancy restaurant to you during this storm?”

She huffs, topping one leg across the other as she crosses her arms. “Forget it.”

Time ticks by as rain shatters against the glass plane walls− the store’s lambent light glows among the dark street, like a flame luring in any lone moth upon this thundering night. The lingering acidic fragrance of mopping detergent that mixes with fresh rain burns through her nose and frigid air coats her blistered skin- her damp clothes steering another wave of iciness to her numb body. Munyeong intensely studies his figure, daggering slits at every movement of his excruciatingly amiable composure, doubting how he could still be− whilst trains of endless thoughts ran through her wild mind, he had the audacity to be this calm.

Her skin crawled with impatience. Still she could not put a finger behind any of his deeds- sure she had noticed the factors that resonated with his extremely complicated personality, but none of them were in any way comprehensible. How could he be pushing her away one minute, then the next minute she sees him running towards her under the thrashing rain− kissing her? 

Unforgivingly her mind muses back over to their stunt− his lips were soft, warm against the icy surroundings as he teeth relentlessly dragged across her lower lip. She scoffs at her thought, cheeks subconsciously burning and she focuses on planning her confrontation instead.

Despite her glowering stare, his negligence did not seem to demolish− Kangtae restlessly pours the hot water into both cups. Weighing his options of either waiting for it to cook at the table with her− that includes risking an opening for her to launch her interrogation, or he would rather stand at the counter. He chooses the latter.

To think about it, the only reason she was still even in her right mind was because of him. If he had not abandoned his interpretations to never see her again and rescue her from another imminent disaster, she would not stand the chance to live a normal life after seeing that vicious spirit. Notably, his stunt did a fairly good job at distracting her, however, yes, their incident earlier was a terrible mistake− in fact it was the gravest decision he had made during his 200 existing years− but what was he supposed to do? It was forbidden that he could harm any of the hotel’s guests, let alone she was the one who refused to follow through his instructions.

The clock ticks and Kangtae lets out a grunted sigh, picking both cups as he heads back to the grave he had solely dug. He can feel her broiling gaze as he slides into the opposite chair, her bickering follows shortly. “Aish, you didn’t even buy kimchi.”

Breaking apart the wooden chopsticks, Kangtae responds nonchalantly, avoiding any possible confrontation. He doesn’t have the energy to. “Just eat. You said you were hungry.”

Munyeong severely glares at him− he stirs his cup of noodles, elbows planted on the edge of the table as his drenched shirt clings onto his figure and if Munyeong was not so baffled at the moment, she would be giddily eating up the view of his toned muscles. 

But she was baffled, everything he had done only assigned a new question to her brain. Yet he was speaking to her so casually, it only drags her mood to aggravation and her patience slips away like quicksand. Unraveling her arms, she leans forward, settling her elbows on the table, eyes gleaming and she releases her flaming curiosity. 

"Do you like me?"

Instantaneously he freezes− Kangtae can't help but scoff. Surely he had expected her pretentiousness, although he did not predict it was this level. He sternly pierced eyes with her, tone laced with determination. "No, Ko Munyeong. I don’t like you. Don't be so delusional− " 

"Me? Delusional? Not even an hour ago you were so concerned about getting me to leave, yet you were the one who ran up and kissed me−” Munyeong lashes out, eyes suddenly glinting as if she understood something. Her voice drops as she arches an eyebrow at him, words punched with emphasis. “Are you playing hard to get?" 

Lost for words, Kangtae gapes, breaking away their stare as his jaw set into a sharp line. “No. Now could you−”

“If not, then what?” She cuts him off. That was the only reason that seemed to resolve his bizarre actions. “Why did you kiss me?”

Time stands still between them, a few seconds of deafening silence break with the heaving of her chest before he crudely bites out a response.

“A mistake. It was a mistake.”

She is not one gullible enough to believe his lie and Munyeong curses under her breath, the itch to rile him up until he is inescapable routes through her veins. Instead she roughly peels the lid off her bowl of now cold noodles, she feeds herself in a pace where it might give her a stomach ache but she doesn't care. At least the food was coping with one of her feelings. She’ll get him to answer anyway.

-

Collapsing into his arm chair, his agonizing groan breaks into the tight silence of his room. Fatigue washes down his aching body and Kangtae closes his eyes shut, head falling back.

“Sir.” Jinhyun’s voice emits as he hastily enters the room. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine. Inform the grim reapers about our lost guest,” He orders. “They’ll take care of it.” The older slowly nods, although his worry does not die down as he queries another question. “What about Ms. Ko?”

Kangtae hesitates. “She’s fine.”

Their conversation had ended abruptly after he bit out those words, she ignored him for the rest of their meal, and when he succeeded to get her a ride home, she brushed past him without a goodbye. He was thankful, really. 

“Call her tomorrow and tell her I have a deal to offer.”

When Jinhyun dismisses himself, Kangtae sinks back into his chair, a long sigh bleeding from his chest. His intinctions tell him to push her away. But he couldn’t. Not until he ascertained how she saw− did such things. To his knowledge that tree was well dead for years, supposedly forever, let alone it was forbidden to be seen by mortals. Until her. Ko Munyeong, that illustrator. She sparked something that even he could not do.

His unsettling chest demands for an answer, and he knows exactly who he needs to confront. Mago.

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#it's okay to not be okay #psycho but it's okay #pbio fic #iotnbo fic #hotel moon light #hotel blue moon #hotel del luna #moon kang tae #moon gang tae #ko mun yeong #ko moon young #kim soohyun #seo yeaji

[turtle-paced]

Revisiting Chapters: Cersei X, AFFC

This post is also available on my wordpress. Masterposts for chapter recaps, including which chapters are in the queue, are on the sidebar.

After a lengthy show-induced hiatus, chapter recaps are back! Let’s see if I can remember how to do this.

The story so far…

After a book of scheming against Margaery, Cersei is finally ready to actually snap this trap closed. On her own foot too, as it turns out.

The Shot

Cersei starts the chapter presiding over what she quite rightly thinks of as a mummer’s farce. Septa Moelle, representative of the High Sparrow, has been summoned to explain the charges against Margaery and her ladies. Charges which we know perfectly well that Cersei arranged for. The dialogue certainly fits the melodrama. I can only imagine that it was all Cersei could do to deliver her lines:

“Innocence? Why, you only need to look upon their sweet young faces to see how innocent they are.”

Cersei put a hand to her breast. “Tell me who is spreading such calumnies about my good-daughter! I do not believe a word of this. My sweet son loves Lady Margaery with all his heart, she could never have been so cruel as to play him false.”

Note that Cersei doesn’t call her Queen Margaery even now. Given that Cersei thinks it’s just hilarious that Margaery suffered an unwanted, unnecessary, penetrative examination of her genitalia (i.e. what we know now as medical rape), I’m honestly not thinking that Cersei’s delivery of these lines was terribly convincing. I’m certainly not convinced that the people who left the room while the charges were read out were all leaving because they were anticipating Tyrell disgrace. That looks to me like they were clearing the blast zone.

Cersei then insists on the “independent” examination of Margaery by Grand Maester Pycelle, who then testifies that Margaery required him to make moon tea for her, more than once. This is a bit of a mystery here, which should be read with Cersei IX. I’ll save analysis of Pycelle’s words for that chapter, but suffice it to say, I think that Pycelle is being honest here, and that he has indeed provided Margaery with moon tea. As readers have already seen with Cersei’s orchestration of Tyrion’s trial, Cersei knows how to include truths in public testimony to make central lies easier to believe.

With this, Cersei closes the court. She sticks around just long enough to hear a lot of hubbub, and then shuts everything down, effectively leaving Margaery’s disgrace uncontested and the last public word on the matter. So she’s already doing great at covering her tracks, here.

For just a few seconds, Cersei thinks she’s done it. Her life’s motivations fulfilled.

Maggy the Frog should be in motley too, for all she knew about the morrow. Cersei prayed the old fraud was screaming down in hell. The younger queen whose coming she’d foretold was finished, and if that prophecy could fail, so could the rest. No golden shrouds, no valonqar, I am free of your croaking malice at last.

And then the consequences start to kick in.

Unintended Consequences

The first of the warning signs should be the reaction of Cersei’s small council. Harys Swyft is “dazed”. As he tells Cersei,

“When word of this reaches Lord Tyrell, his fury will know no bounds. There will be blood in the streets…”

Cersei dismisses this potential threat out of hand. Specifically, she cites the fact that Mace Tyrell was unwilling to launch a frontal assault on Storm’s End during Robert’s Rebellion as evidence of his cowardice. Which is…wow! Aside from the fact that it’s a bit of a different situation given that the Faith has arrested Mace’s own daughter, something that was decidedly not the case during the Rebellion, the general attitude that sieges are for wimps is pretty telling.

Orton Merryweather seems anxious. He points out how much the smallfolk love Margaery and raises the possibility of riots from their quarter. Aurane Waters is even worse – he immediately suggests that he launch the dromonds. Cersei thinks that he intends to stop Mace Tyrell crossing in force. We see later that Waters was thinking along different lines. He too is clearing the blast zone.

Ultimately, Cersei proceeds with the next step in her cunning plan after telling her small council that she intetnds to go to the Sept of Baelor herself to speak to the High Sparrow and Margaery alike, to plead Margaery’s case (i.e. subtly/“subtly” push for Margaery to be tried by the Faith), she goes to Tommen and has him sign and seal blank arrest warrants for the men accused of having sex with Margaery and/or her cousins. By the time Tommen’s signed them and Cersei’s filled in the names, Ser Osfryd comes to Cersei with bad news – there’s a crowd gathering outside the Sept of Baelor demanding Margaery’s release.

I had not considered how the smallfolk might react to this. Margaery has been their little pet.

Oopsie, I guess. What other word do we have for Cersei inadvertently overlooking the opinions of 99% of the Westerosi population? Cersei proceeds rounding up the men anyway, then proceeding to the Sept of Baelor as planned. En route, she fills Taena and the readers in on the next step. If Margaery is tried, she must be defended by a member of the Kingsguard. Most of them are unavailable or wounded. Basically, Margaery’s options are down to Meryn Trant or Boros Blount, and Cersei has no intention of allowing even Trant to fight on Margaery’s behalf.

When Cersei actually arrives at the Sept, we’ve got some signs that perhaps aren’t as good as Cersei might think. True, there’s no proto-mob in the square, but they’ve been replaced with “a line of novice septons with quarterstaffs in their hands.” Unlike Cersei, I’m a bit dubious about organised and armed being the improvement you want to see in a hostile faction. Even Cersei realises that the High Sparrow’s considering the power balance between them slightly shifted when the High Sparrow makes her wait for him to finish praying before starting their first conversation.

Cersei does at least get permission to talk to Margaery. Read, permission to gloat over Margaery. In miniature, this starts off well enough (for Cersei).

Cersei found Margaery barefoot and shivering, clad in the roughspun shift of a novice sister. Her locks were all a tangle, and her feet were filthy.

But what the reader will soon notice is that despite Cersei’s pretensions, the rest of the world isn’t indulging her sense of superiority. One of the best indications here is this little note on the blocking:

There were no chairs, so Cersei sat beside the little queen on her pallet.

The Sparrows’ choices about furnishings do not allow Cersei to sit over Margaery. And as we’ll soon see, the Sparrows think it’s every bit as acceptable to arrest Cersei as to arrest Margaery. Margaery tells Cersei how the Sparrows have treated her – they took her clothes, they’ve forbidden her visitors, they wake her every hour to demand confession. Cersei’s reaction upon Margaery telling her she’d confessed to wanting to scratch a septa’s eyes out?

A shame you did not do it, Cersei thought. Blinding some poor old septa would certainly persuade the High Sparrow of your guilt.

Margaery’s love for her cousins is apparent as she vents to Cersei (Cersei!) about what’s happened. Her first thought is that her cousins have been arrested to bear witness against Margaery herself. Then Cersei tells her that her cousins have in fact been accused themselves. Margaery’s reaction – paling, telling Cersei that the accusations are obscene – help show even more that Cersei’s own plans are just too much to be plausible. Not everyone thinks like Cersei does. Thankfully.

Cersei delivers the news that there’s going to be a trial and watches Margaery’s genuinely fearful reaction. She wants Loras to defend her, but knowing he’s injured, she then says she wants Garlan as her champion. Here’s a point where it seems House Tyrell is similar to the Lannisters. Margaery’s reaction to being informed that Loras has six brothers (of the Kingsguard) is to respond that Loras has two brothers. Though I’m confident there’s more real and healthy love amongst the Tyrells than the Lannisters, I can’t help but notice that Margaery’s willing to discard the institutional traditions of the Kingsguard (which are there for reasons) when Tyrell interests are at stake. It also shows the lack of trust she has in the Kingsguard in the first place. How’d that come to be, again?

Cersei says no, Margaery will have to be defended by a member of the Kingsguard. But here’s where the conversation gets away from Cersei.

Margaery did not answer at once, but her brown eyes narrowed in suspicion.

As soon as Margaery starts speaking again, she reveals that she’s put together Cersei’s entire plan in the space of a minute or two, from that one bit of extra information about the Kingsguard. Then she delivers a memorable verbal smackdown that shows she’s had Cersei’s number the whole time.

Seven hells. Cersei donned a look of hurt. “You wrong me, daughter. All I want -“

“- is your son, all for yourself. He will never have a wife that you don’t hate. And I am not your daughter, thank the gods. Leave me.”

“You are being foolish. I am only here to help you.”

“To help me to my grave. I asked for you to leave. Will you make me call my gaolers and have you dragged away, you vile, scheming, evil bitch?”

While Margaery might not have seen the specifics of the plan coming, she’s definitely nailed Cersei’s motivations for it. Cersei’s got no comeback for that little exchange, to the point where even her internal narration says that she has to gather up her dignity before she leaves. She advises Margaery to pray to the Crone for wisdom and the Mother for mercy, because Margaery may be in need of both.

And on what’s about to be a very ironic note, Cersei departs. Her day is about to go downhill.

The Midden and the Windmill

Literally downhill, as it happens. Cersei doesn’t immediately catch on. She’s escorted by four septas (hey, wasn’t Margaery in the custody of septas?) down past the main hall and into an underground audience chamber (hey, isn’t this suspiciously dungeon-like?).

The High Sparrow starts off by referring to Margaery (correctly) as “the queen.”

She resisted the urge to say, I am the queen.

The principle still applies. If she has to say it, or think it, Cersei might need to consider the extent of her authority.

The High Sparrow continues on, stating his belief that Margaery is guilty, guilty, guilty. He reveals some distinctly anti-choice views in the process. Cersei cries some more crocodile tears and hands over responsibility for the trial to the Faith. The composition of the court is interesting, as the High Sparrow reveals his intention to have three female judges on the panel (maiden, mother and crone). It’s a sound political move from him, given his power base amongst the smallfolk, looking for a broader cross-section of society to judge (never fear, there won’t be any women on the panel who don’t hew to the High Sparrow’s particular take on theology, we’re not going thatbroad). She confirms that Margaery will have to be defended by a member of the Kingsguard. The High Sparrow agrees.

Okay, who else thinks this was too easy? Not Cersei!

With agreement on the trial reached, Cersei says she’ll be taking Ser Osney back to her own custody now.

“No,” said the High Septon.

Another really good moment there. One line. Five words. It looks so un-dramatic, but that flat, firm little no kicks off the more precipitous part of Cersei’s decline. As Cersei says, it’s like a splash of cold water.

The High Sparrow then takes Cersei to where Osney Kettleblack is being held. He’s been tortured. The High Sparrow describes this as seeking after the truth most earnestly. Cersei protests that Osney told the High Sparrow the truth, but unfortunately for Cersei…

“I have heard many men confess, Your Grace, but seldom have I heard a man so pleased to be so guilty.”

…the High Sparrow isn’t stupid. Misogynist and torturer, sure! But not stupid. Cersei did not consider this, either. She did not consider that Osney might be a shite liar. She did not consider that the High Sparrow might find this all a bit fishy. Much less that he’d act on any suspicions. That much is clear when Cersei thinks, he is just a priest, he cannot do this.

In short, Cersei did not expect that her social inferior had a working brain and a working spine.

“Ser Osney,” said the High Sparrow, in a firm, clear voice, “did you have carnal knowledge of the queen?”

“Aye.” The chains rattled softly as Osney twisted in his shackles. “That one there. She’s the queen I fucked, the one sent me to kill the old High Septon.”

The jig is up. That much is clear from the High Sparrow’s staging of this event. He’s not shocked by this confession. He had Cersei brought down here to feel her out. Cersei tries to run, and oh would you look at that, the four older septas who escorted her down to this dungeon are ready to block her way. She manages to get past them, but there even more septas waiting, and they arrest her. Cersei’s denial of her situation is strong, as we see through this passage. First:

The Kettleblacks, I need the Kettleblacks, I will send in Osfryd with the gold cloaks and Osmund with the Kingsguard, Osney will deny it all once they cut him free, and I’ll rid myelf of this High Septon just as I did the other.

Second:

“I am the queen,” she shouted.

Third:

“You cannot do this,” the queen kept screaming at them. “I am a Lannister, unhand me, my brother will kill you, Jaime will slice you open from throat to cunt, unhand me! I am the queen!”

But by then she’s in custody and going through exactly the same treatment Margaery is. Her clothes are stripped from her, the Sparrows are controlling visitors to her, and they’re waking her up every hour to try and procure a confession. Cersei does not take the advice she gave to Margaery. She screams until her throat is raw. She tore the shift she’d been given to replace her clothes into shreds. She smashes the meagre furniture left to her (an ewer of water and her chamberpot). Hell, Cersei even dealt with her arrest by physically assaulting the septas, which Cersei was only a few hours ago thinking would definitely convince the High Sparrow that Margaery was guilty. Her entire attitude is, shall we say, counterproductive.

What can be happening? Cersei wondered, as the thin slice of sky outside her window began to darken once again. Why has no one come to pry me out of here?

[…]

Thrice that day she heard the sound of distant shouting drifting up from the plaza, but it was Margaery’s name that the mob was calling, not hers.

The reader’s just seen Cersei get caught in her own trap. The reader’s seen Cersei’s callousness, cruelty and paranoia lead to her alienating everyone who could or would have helped her, even as she created and empowered more enemies. But Cersei – Cersei still just doesn’t get it.

This is also apparent as Qyburn is finally allowed in to see Cersei and catch her up on the political developments. Cersei’s first question is about Tommen: “is he still king?” The choice of words is telling – what Cersei probably intends to ask here is is Tommen well every bit as much as whether he’s king. The conflation of Tommen’s status as king with his wellbeing does show us a bit about what Cersei considers wellbeing.

Qyburn has sent the Blue Bard (the first of Margaery’s accusers) over to the High Sparrow, as requested, so Cersei’s ill-conceived plan is still barrelling along. Just with a few external changes. Like Cersei being tried just as Margaery is – but for things the reader knows she is actually guilty of. So how’s she getting out of this? The goldcloaks?

“Osfryd Kettleblack no longer commands the City Watch. The king has removed him from office…”

How’d that happen?

“The boy is not to blame. When his council puts a decree in front of him, he signs his name and stamps it with his seal.”

You’d think training an eight-year-old possessed of supreme executive power to treat signing official documents as fun times with sealing wax was a bad idea or something. Hang on a second, though, the council?

“My council…who? […]”

“Alas, I have been dismissed. […] The realm is being ruled by Ser Harys Swyft and Grand Maester Pycelle. They have dispatched a raven to Casterly Rock, inviting your uncle to return to court and assume the regency.”

Oh, that’s right, Kevan was justifiably pissed at Cersei for how she abused Lancel, right! What about Mace?

“Mace Tyrell has abandoned his siege of Storm’s End and is marching back to the city with his army, and Randyll Tarly is reported on his way down from Maidenpool as well.”

Guess Cersei was wrong about that too. Who else on the council?

“Merryweather has resigned his seat on the council and fled back to Longtable.”

Not ideal, but at least Taena’s alive and not in Sparrow custody. Now if she could just get those ships –

“As soon as word of Your Grace’s present troubles reached the river, Lord Waters raised sails, unshipped his oars, and took his fleet to sea.”

Gods damn it!

“Hope remains. Your Grace has the right to prove your innocence by battle. My queen, your champion stands ready.”

[…] “The gods make japes of all our hopes and plans. I have a champion no man can defeat, but I am forbidden to make use of him. I am the queen, Qyburn. My honour can only be defended by a Sworn Brother of the Kingsguard.”

She has Frankengregor, but Frankengregor is not a sworn brother of the Kingsguard. Just the dilemma she was hoping to catch Margaery in.

This conversation is a blunt instrument. Its purpose is to sock the reader with a concentrated reminder of every way in which Cersei has fucked this one right up. Sock the reader, because Cersei’s sure not getting it. But she finishes off with the thing she’s been failing to get since the end of ASoS. She begs Qyburn to write Jaime, telling him to drop everything and come to her side.

She had to reach him. “He will come. He must. Jaime is my only hope.”

“My queen,” said Qyburn, “have you…forgotten? Ser Jaime has no sword hand. If he should champion you and lose…”

We will leave this world together, as we once came into it.

“He will not lose. Not Jaime. Not with my life at stake.”

The readers have the advantage on Cersei here in that they’ve seen Jaime’s PoV. They’ve had the other perspective of their break-up and can see how Cersei’s actions contributed to said break-up. They’ve been reading Jaime’s questioning of their entire relationship. They’ve seen his raw anger at Cersei. In the very next chapter we’ll see Jaime read the plea Cersei sends here and order it burned. The reader knows already, as Cersei does not, that Cersei cannot rely on her brother’s love for her.

Just like the readers know about the valonqar prophecy.

Chapter Function

Big plot chapter, this one! Both in the scheme of the book and the scheme of the series. Politically, we’re seeing the disintegration of leadership in King’s Landing. Cersei’s basically imploded the LannisTyrell alliance. Mace is bringing an army to King’s Landing to use against the Faith of the Seven. Qyburn’s got Frankengregor combat-ready. This climax topples Cersei and sets conditions for what seems likely to be the complete toppling of the Lannisters and Tyrells in TWoW, following bloody chaos in the city.

Series-wide, this is a big moment for Cersei. Her previous chapters this book have been setup for this, the main action of her downfall (part one), the climax of her AFFC arc – all as the unintended side effects of her own actions. She succeeded in having the crown’s debt to the Faith cleared, but. She succeeded in having Margaery arrested, but. After nine chapters of Cersei’s very good ideas, here in chapter ten everything culminates in a way so that nobody can reasonably say that this was not Cersei’s fault. It leaves off on Cersei’s absolute, but probably just as mistaken, belief that Jaime will not fail her.

But at the same time, it’s important to recall that as cruel and horrible as Cersei is, there is still a tragic aspect to this self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Tommen] seemed surprised when Cersei gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his brow. “What’s that for, Mother? Why are you crying?”

Because you’re safe, she wanted to tell him. Because no harm will ever come to you. “You are mistaken. A lion never cries.”

This prophecy didn’t just foretell Cersei’s own death, but the deaths of her children as well. The self-fulfilling nature of this prophecy is going to lead Cersei herself into creating the circumstances that kill her children, even if she herself only realises this too late. It’s definitely something worth remembering in the context of Tyrion’s chilling ACoK threat:

“I have never liked you, Cersei, but you were my own sister, so I never did you harm. You’ve ended that. I will hurt you for this. I don’t know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you’ll know the debt is paid.”

– Tyrion XII, ACoK

In-universe, you’d think this would also provide further fuel for Cersei’s paranoid fire and conviction that Tyrion is responsible for her misfortunes.

Overall, though, what we see here in Cersei X is the beginning of the end for Cersei and her (so-far) surviving children, and it’s Cersei’s own doing.

Miscellany

When Taena Merryweather compliments Cersei on her Margaery-humbling skills, Cersei tells Taena that any mother would do the same to protect her children. Then Taena immediately dodges Cersei’s request for Taena to bring her son to court. Perhaps this might tell Cersei something regarding Taena’s true beliefs as to Cersei’s ability to win out!

…nah. It’s probably nothing.

It’s always worth keeping track of how Cersei refers to other women in her internal narration. You hardly ever see her using even neutral descriptors. Margaery’s always the “little” queen, of course. Here when Cersei incidentally interacts with a lot of anonymous background septas, they’re “crones” or “shrivelled” or “feeble” or “sour.” Or some combination of similar.

When Cersei’s taken to the underground audience chamber, she actually takes note of the the carvings of the Seven on the walls, which she describes as ugly but somehow compelling. It’’s not often we see any sort of depictions of the Seven described as packing an emotional punch, but these successfully induce an “eyes of Notre Dame” moment in Cersei Lannister.

Clothing Porn

Cersei wears green silk and golden lace, with lots and lots of emerald jewelry, to hear the first charges against Margaery. It’s not the first time Cersei’s worn green in the series, because it matches her eyes, but interesting call with the Tyrell colours there.

To meet the High Sparrow, Cersei wears a brown woolen dress that covers her “throat to ankle,” with “only a few small vines embroidered on the bodice and the sleeves in golden thread.” We also hear that Margaery was stripped of a gown made of ivory lace with pearls on the bodice.

Food Porn

Fine dining Sparrow style consists of “thin grey gruel” for breakfast and later bread and fish.

Next Three Chapters

Alayne I, AFFC – The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD – Brienne VIII, AFFC

#ASoIaF #revisiting chapters #cw: rape #cw: violence #cersei lannister #the high sparrow #margaery tyrell #qyburn

[blankdblank]

Next Caller Pt 28

“Come in!” Belly called out through the door making Thorin look from the sports car out front of your place. Cautiously he turned the doorknob and eased the door open bringing the Raven dangling from the arch across from the door with a grin on his face to his attention. “Contracts are being signed, come in.”

Thorin nodded and stepped through the door he eased shut behind himself watching Roac fly off after Belly leaving him confused a moment alone in the entrance hall.

Moving farther in the house he made for the kitchen assuming that if you were signing contracts that you would be in the dining room. In cheerful Hobbitish he could hear a pair of voices chatting with you and once in the kitchen he smirked seeing you cross legged on your bench at the table beside Ecthellion hearing one of the men over the video chat saying, “We are so thrilled to have finally gotten ahold of you. This show has just taken off like wildfire since The Shire caught onto it.”

His partner said, “Yes, and no matter what the issues with it being limited to solely Hobbit frequencies in television we assure you that on our streaming platform anyone with a membership could get to see just how amazing your show is.”

“Thank you,” you replied in Hobbitish, “It’s been incredible seeing how well the show has just taken off. We’ve even gotten offers to extend merch for it as well which my co-owner has been thinking on herself.”

Looking down again when Ecthellion brought out the last packet of contracts pre signed by them you signed your name and caught their spreading grins through the screen. Thank you’s were traded with well wishes and Ecthellion said, “I am on my way to your office with your copy of the paperwork right now gentlemen.” Signing off before shutting down the laptop he added to his bag and stole a hug from you kissing your forehead, “Sorry Dear, they sprung it on me two hours ago after they had found out about the culling that freed up objections. Want a bump to their spring lineup.”

Shaking your head you said, “No problem, I was awake. Drive safe.”

He chuckled and stood lifting his bag saying, “Enjoy your snuggling.”

Making you roll your eyes and shift on your seat to grin at Thorin, who said, “Hobbits are picking up the show?”

“My old tv show. All three seasons, gonna make a big thing of the voice actor from the Bunny Show voicing and animating it. Celebrian is pretty thrilled about it.”

Moving to the table he sat down asking, “Which streaming platform?”

“Bombedil.” Parting his lips making you giggle, “I know, it’s so crazy they bought stream time for two years! So huge!”

“That is huge, can I ask for how much?”

“2 million, but split between the both of us owners and paid out over two years it’s much more sensible than it sounds.”

“I’m so proud of you that is incredible.” He said laying his hand on yours resting on your knee smiling deeper at the blushing creeping grin his words triggered from you.

“Well, it’s only the beginning it seems for the show, it seems the Buckelberry Awards have put me in the pool for the Old Timer Award, for old shows that make a comeback. Animation and vocals.”

“Old Timer?” He chuckled out.

With a giggle you replied, “More than a century old.”

“If you win,”

“I most likely won’t, I hear it’s a rough competition most years.”

“Oh-,”

You pointed at him and said, “I don’t need awards. I’ve won two costume ribbons and I am good for life with that.” Making him chuckle again, “Sleep well?” You asked breaking the conversation to a different topic.

.

He didn’t end up staying long once Frerin called him to join in on his own stop to see Gloin. Where the first was the next day their lease would be up in two months and forcing his brother and Nephews together in one time for actual house hunting and he knew right where to start. From the list of Dwobbit dwellings that he and Gloin had been emailing about he spent the past couple weeks digging through. Since first seeing your home that Gloin had helped you into the endless traveling and hotels bringing him back to another parking garage and lift up to his assigned rooms that deep ache for something solid to return home to.

A spacious cave home in the larger portion of your own suburb. It needed some serious love and on his days off between his races he would head the relative crews to adjust it to everyone’s styles. Mainly shelving and other built ins were the most of the structural adjustments and the boys loved all the space they would have in the new place that their uncle hoped to design with ample space for guests. It would be slow even with his money to design the place and to their surprise Gloin already had the papers drawn up in Frerin’s name alone, already stealthily planning on the trio eventually moving out granting him more space to decorate. Thorin would end up with the second Master bedroom even though he seemed reluctant to plan on decorating the dwelling to his taste at all, somehow feeling like a sham compared to the thought of helping you fix up your home.

While he was off helping his brother settle his roots and head home again to start designing you were off on an adventure of your own. Dusting off your copy of your show you settled back to relearn after not having seen it in centuries since it was shut down in your refusal to pay your father’s clan your earnings. Disk by disk it all came back and calling it a night at a decent time you went to bed to be up and cheerful enough to get through the next show that could lull you to sleep if you didn’t with how slow paced the first part would slow to until the heroine would be found on the edge of impossible.

 .

“17k,” you muttered after having confirmed that your first check had been direct deposited into your account at 4 in the morning. Leaving 18k you slid your checkbook closer to you and across your latest in the Alice in Wonderland checkbook with the walrus and the carpenter on it you wrote out the check to repay Glori for his fronting you the gold to pay off your scooter.

Once again checking your email you smirked seeing the confirmation of the bunk bed crew coming to install your beds in your sisters’ room on Friday. Opening the saved mattress company website you went ahead and purchased the four saved mattresses for the bunk beds to your account in full that would show up on Thursday. Next the sea foam cushioned headboard and platform bed frame for your mother and Cirdan’s bed along with the four platform bed frames with cushioned headboards for the blue and orange bedroom were ordered.

.

Durin, for the first three hours the Durins listened to their ancestor’s forces grouping up with Wolsey and his forces shifting gears. Threat was aimed at Osgiliath and telling of an Ent uprising in Isengard had grated him possession of Holm. Though the admission of that had the cackling villain in his cage saying they would never find their precious Bunny. Their dearest friend who was assumed to have been lost in the waters flooding Isengard.

A switch however had it back to Bunny when it seemed the mood had sunk to the lowest for the avenging heroes. On the edge of a white city she awoke after being left by the Ent who had spent the past ten minutes singing a song. The song offering a reluctant state of calm to the listeners before a low gravely offering of long sleep from the protective Ent laying the damsel down in the tall grass. Eyes shooting open to the vibrations of distant marching through the earth were followed by the sound of a distant cannon however had her rolling over into all fours to start sprinting for the nearest shelter. Osgiliath. More and more moods sank while between the scrambling soldiers and beginnings of attacks from the dark forces encroaching they listened to the odd gathering of scraps and random objects.

Loud explosions edited to muffle to mimic ringing in Bunny’s ears with overlaid muffled orders and shouts played in the background while you kept narrating from the unknown third person narrator yet to be introduced. A scattering canon was fashioned and atop one of the highest towers still standing Bunny fired off in various directions giant balls of energy that once hitting he earth expanded two feet then snapped back in tighter sucking those within fifty feet of it, the closest being vaporized before the ball would explode into sporadic streaks of energy vaporizing others. Around the city the forces dwindled with the forces inside rallying to destroy those within the city walls thankful for their unknown protector. When the hull of the cannon snapped at its use being extended as long as possible it crumbled and wielding the largest piece of the stand she could muster to hold Bunny descended to try and aid those within the walls.

Swords clashed and arrows flew between explosions taking out walls more than once causing Bunny to stumble. “And that’s when she saw it, the foot of a small child cowering while the galloping brute with a mace overhead imbedded with nails swung carelessly into anyone and everything within his reach. Contorted and bred on malice and contempt for everything fair, everything he once was and had been torn from him, the beast rampaged tirelessly against the arrows lodged in his legs in failed tries to stop him. That was when she rose from the latest blast coating with her from debris off the last tower collapsing. Hair strewn about her lodging between tiny rocks and splinters of crushed timber beams and arches strewn about the courtyard in which she had fallen.

Between her now ash colored curls her eyes landed on the approaching fiend and clenching her fist around the hastily made handle of the support turned bludgeoning tool up she shot. Right in the fall of his mace the tiny terror clashed her tool knocking the deadly mace right in the proper spot to send it soaring from his hand. Victory however was not at hand just yet as in the force to swing the tool that hard her body had twisted out of position to block his next blow from his foot in a one legged re-gathering of his balance. Bouncing and tumbling across the rubble coated ground she came to a stop and in a trembling rise to all fours she groaned her way upwards in the beasts step past my hiding place.”

Gasps rippled through the masses listening hearing now at least a hint who the narrator was.

Again and again she was thrown and beaten down only to rise again making the narrator coil up more until on her back she laid coughing for air bloody and broken after managing to be thrown closer to a small crossbow. Loosely it was lodged under a beam allowing her to shoot the beast between the eyes in his leer over her ready to stomp the life out of her.

“In the loud crashing of their brutal battle soldiers had gathered to bring aid and in the rising cloud of dust over I raced to kneel beside her seeing again those same fearless glowing eyes brimming with kindness settle on my feeble self. Under the sight of flying shark crafts high above those same eyes closed in the streak of a dirt cleansing tear leaving a single hint of there being a person under all that blood and debris.”

The Captain of the Citadel approached with his soldiers and asked him what he’s doing here the boy stated he was running for the passages below the city as his father had ordered the unconscious woman saved his life from the beast

Atop two braced shields between the group of soldiers Bunny is carried to the Healers where the boy remains by her side while the second wave of forces attack with aid from Durin and Wolseys’ forces.

The King comes himself to inspect the woman the narrator is revealed as the Crown Prince, easing the chain around her neck up he lifts the pendant with a rabbit footprint set into a polished sphere of emerald.

Wolsey came to speak to the King after having come from the battle and spots Bunny. His saying her name is the last thing heard before the narrator saying, “I had no clue just how profound an effect that woman would have on my life. And in all these years there wasn’t a day where I didn’t think of my savior and how for decades I would not realize just how she had stolen my heart. But I wasn’t the only one to openly admit to her innocent thievery.”

.

“I thought you were almost gonna kill Bunny off!” Giggling in the hall you shifted the strap of your bag on your shoulder watching the next group get ready to start their own shift. “The Prince then? Bunny ends up with him?” Again you giggled and she huffed, “I hate this wait it out thing. This could be considered torture you know? The guys expect me to know something since I work on the show you know.”

“All the more reason to keep you in the dark.” Making her huff while you pulled out your phone after wondering about your first drive to the shop.

Peering over your shoulder she saw your thumb hovering over the open text chat for Thorin making her smirk, first at the name but then at the picture of the pair of you making faces in your trip. “Texting your snuggle buddy?”

“Wondering where I’m gonna park. Not sure if I can-,”

Reaching over in the absent tilt of your hand when you turned your head to wave at the man wishing you good morning on his way into his office she typed hastily, ‘Hey, Handsome, on my way. Where do you want me?’

“Hey-!” Turning your head you eyed the message then narrowed your eyes in a glance up at her while she gave a giggle and turned for the lift. “That-,”

Following after her you hugged and she said, “Oh like you haven’t teased worse.”

“Still-,”

*

“Where do you want me?”

Thorin mumbled and Dwalin grumbled back, “Bout a foot to your right would suffice, you’re cramping my caboose.” He said in an awkward twist around his frozen cousin who snapped out of his current grind mindset to answer your personal ring tone.

Thorin inched over and said, “Jaqi sent me that.” Dwalin chuckled in eyeing the message and turned back to finish his order with the mint drizzle he had grabbed. “That’s not helping.”

Balin behind him claimed his phone and typed back, ‘Park in my lot anytime, my Mafioso.’ A smile puffed his cheeks up when Thorin turned to look at him from Dwalin taking his phone back, “Just telling her she’s welcome to our lot. Clearly she’s asking about her scooter.” He said walking away sneaking a wink to his deeply smirking brother on to starting another order after passing the last over.

Thorin looked at the message, “Park in my lot anytime?! Do you know what that sounds like?!”

Dwalin chuckled patting him on the back rumbling lowly, “Like a fine response to ‘Where do you want me?’ Tit for tat.”

Thorin, “Ti-, don’t even get me started on that.” Looking to Balin he asked, “My Mafioso?! Mine?!”

At the counter a woman sighed making Thorin’s face drop and he pocketed his phone when she said, “The torment. Bare your soul. Just tell your lover how you feel, your family will have to understand. You can’t stop love.” She said lifting her mug she carried to her seat of still swooning friends wondering about Bunny’s love life from the ending of the show.

Thorin looked at Dwalin as he said, “Bare your soul.”

Thorin grumbled back, “How did my life become a soap opera for the world to pine over?”

Dwalin chuckled saying, “Two words,” Thorin nodded and Dwalin continued, “Surprise me.” Chuckling at Thorin’s turn to focus on his drink again with his mind wandering back to that first trip of yours into their little shop by chance when he couldn’t take his eyes off you or resist going up to talk to you again.

*

“Vana help me,” You said smoothing your hand through your bangs hanging into your face to brush them behind your ear again.

Mal leaned in and squeaked at the reply, “Park in his lot anytime!” Bumping her arm into yours earning an eye roll from you, “His Mafioso, he said his.” She pointed at your necklace again, “Told you. Your babies are having babies and now he’s getting all domestic on you pining helplessly. Couldn’t stop staring the other night by the way, like every other time I’ve seen him near you. He’s hooked, you little opiate you.”

Shaking your head you giggled saying, “I’m drugs now, thank you.”

She giggled again saying as she adjusted BamBam’s carrier bag in her arms while he napped, “It’s true, for him,” leaning in she added in a whisper, “His little green fairy.”

Shaking your head again you giggled out, “That’s absinthe.”

“Still illegal,” she said stepping to the opening doors of the lift letting you out into the garage to lead the way to your scooter section she strapped the bag into the basket mounted where her back half of her seat used to sit secured to the backrest to keep BamBam and other animals she transported safely on the pastel pink scooter.

“Have fun Mal.” You said and she smirked adding her own helmet straddling her idling scooter.

With a finger wave she said, “Enjoy your stop with your Mug Dealer.” Then took off leaving you shaking your head and exhaling deeply before brushing your hair back to add your own helmet. A turn of the key later and you raised the kickstands with a press of the right pedal and you were off to see where you could park to be out of the way for the workers in the shop. Trying your hardest not to imagine Thorin rumbling those words to you in a very different context than over a arming spot threatening to make you blush the closer you got.

.

Around the shop you drove and the trio’s eyes followed you until you vanished from sight, the action signaling the woman at the table to tap her friends’ arms casting them to silence.

Trotting on toe top in your usual bubbly way around the shop you wove between those passing on the streets and those exiting the shop ready to see their friends or return to work from their breaks to conference about the show. Though once you got up to the counter Thorin blurted out, “I’ve been framed.”

With a brow ticked up you fired back quite innocently though no less temptingly for the already flustered Dwarf. “Do you need a lawyer I know a few?”

“No, I was planning on handling this out of court.”

At your lips puckering before your voice sounded his brows twitched upwards, “Ooh is that the oiled up shirtless duel out of court settling or an under the table money trading type of deal?”

Thorin letting out a growling grumble through his instant deep blush spreading across his cheeks and turned away muttering to himself as if in an order, “Tea.”

In a giggle curious for what you said but also in amusement of his reaction you looked to the chuckling brothers with bill in hand that Dwalin accepted as you asked, “I missed something?”

Dwalin shook his head, “Nope, you certainly did not miss.” Narrowing your eyes a moment you looked him over then shook your head at his deepening smirk and turned for your usual seat.

Balin however lingered by Thorin’s side and muttered, “Alright, tit for tat remember that. Tillie just got in you go relax.”

Heaving a deep breath his chest sank then rose in a mustering of courage after having spotted the table of women already whispering about the pair of you with chins in their palms. Cradling your mug he walked to your table and said as he set it down. “Alright, I’ve got a tat for you.”

With brows raised in a glance up from your journal you were sketching in that you closed around your pen, smirking in asking, “A tat for me? Like a tattoo?”

“What? No, for your t-,” shaking his head your eyes narrowed curiously as he blurted out, “I am not bringing up your-,” his outstretched fingers motioning in a circle half heartedly gesturing to your chest. Deeply he exhaled curling his fingers on the hand he set on the table while you leaned forward only nearly drawing his eyes to your chest again at the table pressing your cleavage up more into his view over the criss-crossing tank top under your open flannel. “We should go to the zoo.”

“Now?”

“No, Wednesday. I’ll have to find some kids.” Again you giggled and he said, “And their parents, from my clan...Dwalin is going!” He added loudly glaring at his cousin.

Dwalin nodded, “Where?”

“The zoo!”

Dwalin’s eyes narrowed and Balin said, “Ooh, Billi has been asking to go again, we’re going too, on-,”

Thorin, “Wednesday!”

Balin nodded, “Yes! Can’t wait to see you there as well.”

With cup in hand Dwalin approached bringing Thorin his distraction brew in excuse to get closer only to see him blush as you took a picture of your mug asking, “So, Wednesday’s when we’re going to talk about my breasts again?” Smiling widely you watched Thorin inhale and lay his hand over the mug Dwalin set down to slide it closer to him. Lifting your mug you added, “As long as I get some dik-dik pics I’ll be ecstatic.”

Snorting deeply Dwalin turned seeing Thorin’s eyes snap wider as you took a sip of your tea, laughing loudly Dwalin staggered his way back to the office with Balin curiously after him to ask what was so funny.

In a broken croak of a whisper he asked, “A what?”

Smirking in lowering your mug you pulled up a picture of a dik-dik on your phone you handed to him causing his eyes to close and him to heave a deep exhale in the smoothing of his free hand over his face that came to a halt propping up his chin in passing back your phone. “That’s-,”

“Adorable, and I haven’t seen one in person. Well worth the stop.”

Keeping the topic off your stunning body he asked, “What are your plans today?”

“Buy my paint, then paint. You’re jealous, I know.”

“If you need a trunk I can go with you.”

Dwalin came over and seeing your mugs were nearly empty he proceeded to chat with the pair of you until they were and then ushered you both out the back to the parking lot.

On your scooter you settled and watched him pull out leading the way to the shop you had mentioned wanting to go to. Following behind it didn’t take long to get there and after your minute wait for him to walk from his parking spot to the bike section you waited by one of the dividing painted posts then walked in at his side. Calm chatting about the house picked up easing Thorin’s nerves about what you could talk about without being seen blushing madly through the hardware store.

Ample cans of paint later and a couple spray cans complete with masks, gloves and goggles for those metal pieces you stopped at the curtain rod section. With tons to choose from you lingered there a bit listing possible choices before you purchased the ones you wanted along with rings to add to the fabric for the curtails you were buying the next day.

Home again you went and stopping in the driveway you pulled into the empty section of the garage and pivoted the scooter around to face outward while he parked in the drive and got out with trunk open to start unloading. Paint was stacked on the workbench next to the new brushes and rods were left along the wall. Though for a moment in tying back your hair you froze seeing Thorin easing out of his sweater leaving him in his tank top, tossing that in the driver’s seat of his car he came back to join you in seeing what there was to be done. Each row was divided by what colors were needed and right away you got to work on the job at hand. Though between pieces his gaze couldn’t help but sneak to you and his phone would come out and steal pictures of you at work. A stretched out tongue in an awkward face for his last picture had him laughing at your having noticed him.

Closer and closer he inched taking notice you had joined in on the picture taking resulting in you both having a picture of the other stealing another picture creating a partial stand off and pause on painting for giggles. An echo however turned your head hearing a group of teens bickering their way to your mailbox. “I swear it is!”

“No it couldn’t be!”

“No one famous lives out here!”

Turning as well Thorin watched with you as the boy held up his phone saying, “See! The runes match! I told you it had to be her! Says right here animator and voice actor, she works on the Bunny show!”

“Oh this can only end well.” You muttered and Thorin came closer in their rush off after looking to your house. The smallest in the group returning your wave before joining his friends on their hurry home shouting about they were going to watch it right away. “Isn’t the show a bit mature for their age?”

Lowly with brows furrowed he hummed out, “Um, most of it should be fine. That pirate episode, yes, that one yes. Only got through the first season so far.”

In a giggle you replied, “Then no doubt season three might leave some scars. Serious angst and drama.” Making him chuckle to himself and join you in getting back to work to finish it all through the continued whispers of those passing by also commenting on the runes on your box also having taken notice of the latest show being advertised on Bombadil for streaming.

A break for lunch you made was followed by Thorin’s aiding you through the house to carry each piece to where you wanted it. Each piece being crossed off the list only made his smirk deepen and his pride swell seeing how much more together the house was coming. Nodding he said on his way to his car as you walked him out, “It’s looking spectacular. Now all you need-,”

“Thursday the mattresses for the bunk beds arrive and Friday the crew will be here to install them along with another to assemble the bed frames for Naneth’s and the blue/orange guest room.”

“Wow,” though his brows sank a moment and he asked, “Two teams? With just you here?”

“They’re very reputable companies.”

“No I don’t doubt that, it’s another old Dwarf tradition, if you don’t mind we’ll drop by, keep you company. You should always have an ally when builders come.”

“Fine, thank you again, now go get some sleep.”

Making him chuckle and climb into his car, “Same to you. Night. See you first thing.”

Pt 29

#Thorin x Reader OC #Hobbit #lotr

[goffilolo]

Revival of Midoriya Izuku part 2

Well well well, its been 84 years hasn’t it? as always you can find the fic under the the same name on ao3. looking forward to the comments and notes

“I can’t believe you dragged me out before I could put on some of my best moves” whined Izuku as he fell into step with the doctor.

“See, the issue here is that there is no difference between your best and your worst moves” deadpanned Shin. “I was saving you from yourself” he added as an afterthought, while mentally praying (to whichever God that has yet to be killed by Izuku) for the safety and sanity of Izuku’s new crush.

It’s been a long day for both of them to say the least. What started off as a casual meet up for breakfast ended up becoming another one of Izuku’s shenanigans that got them both arrested. While that in itself is nothing new, this time they’ve been held up for much longer than usual, because of course they were.

The duo (or trio if you were to count the alleged dog) were currently on their way to Izuku’s house, as the doctor insisted on walking him home from the police station while his mom went in the opposite direction to buy some groceries for tonight’s dinner.

“Saving me?” scoffed Izuku “I think it’s a bit too late for that. But it doesn’t matter, I still have a chance.”

“How so?” asked Shin, with about 80% of disbelievement and 20% curiosity.

The question above has unfortunately unleashed Izuku’s Rant ™ mode.

“That guy mentioned coming back from an entrance exam. If we take into account all the schools that are within a relatively short distance from the police station, as well as the time he arrived, the only logical conclusion would be the UA exam that we KNOW took place today. Also he’s Tensei’s brother, which means he has to have a pretty good quirk so I don’t doubt he passed the entrance exam with flying colours. Do you know what that means Shin?!” asked the teen, with an excitement of a squirrel on 23 red bulls.

“It means that your stalker tendencies are making a comeback?” which apparently was the wrong answer as the doctor’s kneecaps soon found themselves becoming victims of Trash Bandit’s headbutting.

“NO!- I mean, yeah but-” stammered the boy “-the point IS that I know where to find him! Once the new school year starts I can just go to UA to see him whenever!”

“Uh-huh, and what about that teeny-tiny detail of, oh I dunno, YOU NOT ATTENDING UA, IN FACT YOU NOT ATTENDING SCHOOL AT ALL?!”

“First of all, don’t you fuckin use that tone with me Doc, you’re making it sound like I’m a drop-out” pointed Izuku “And second of all, how dare you assume that something as simple as a security system can come in the way of me getting laid.” Not to mention he has technically enrolled into a high school, whether or not he will actually attend is a different story.

“Why do I even bother?” lamented the doctor “I should’ve just kept you locked at the psych ward when I had the chance.”

“But ya didn’t!”

The two continued their usual banter, until they finally reached Izuku’s neighbourhood, at which point the boy took the pity on the bespectacled man and told him to go home, knowing that the man haven’t slept in the last 36 hours and that another 12 hour shift was awaiting him tomorrow morning.

“Oh shit, I do need to go home” mumbled Shin. “I didn’t get to call my wife when we were at the station.”

“What do you mean you didn’t get to call her?” asked Izuku, while trying to hide his surprise and disappointment at the doctor’s marital status, as it puts his matchmaking plans to an end before they would truly begin “Didn’t they give you one call to make?”

“Well yes, but it was a long day and I got hungry, so I ended up calling a takeaway instead.”

“You know Shin, I never thought I would say this about you, but BIG MOOD.”

It was only after they bid each other farewell and went their separate ways that Izuku has noticed something strange. He felt like he was being followed, and for once it wasn’t a quil induced paranoia (or maybe it was? kinda hard to tell these days), looking over to Bandit, he noticed that the sheep also seemed to be on guard. So it’s not just me then .

He made a subtle turn, trying to see if there there were any people behind him. In doing so he failed to notice the the sudden appearance of a tall figure in front of him and was thus more than unprepared for the incoming “ I AM HE-! ”

“BANDIT! ATTACK!”

What followed was a litany of confused screams and vengeful sheep noises enveloped in a spontaneous cloud of smoke, which Izuku threw his axe at, because that is now his go-to solution for any problem. If he wasn’t already so startled by the whole situation he probably would’ve noticed that said cloud of smoke was vaguely All-Might shaped, at least before the sheep was added to the equation. As the smoke began to dissipate it revealed a tall, skeletal figure of a man who looked like if one of those ugly ragdolls you find at goodwill stores came to life. The man in question barely managed to stop the incoming axe using his bare hands, keeping the blade in a karate chop like hold, which would’ve been impressive if it wasn’t for the fact that Trash Bandit was hanging off the man, chewing on his blond his hair. So to say that the current situation was confusing would be a big understatement.

“Who the fuck are you?!” asked Izuku, playing up his ‘good cop/bad cop’ act, except the good cop went and killed himself 9 months prior by smashing his head open against a koi pond, because that’s how it always is within the world of criminal justice; the good ones die too young. Doesn’t matter, Bandit can play a cop, whether he’d be good is questionable, but he’d still a better job than like 90% of the police force he dealt with so far. Except Tsukauchi, he’s a good bitch, far to overworked and underpaid for his job. He’s perfect. Him and Shin would be perfect together, if the doctor wasn’t married that is. Wait, what was he saying?

Oh yeah.

“I asked who the fuck are you” he repeated while pulling out his backup axe out of his yellow backpack “And I don’t like to repeat myself, especially to some old, creepy guys who seem to think it’s ok to go around following underage boys” he explained as he waved his weapon in an unspoken threat.

Which seemed to do the trick as the stranger started to fumble around looking for an excuse and a way to pull the sheep off his hair.

“Aah, sorry about the misunderstanding! We’ve met briefly during the villain attack earlier today. What you did back there was incredible young man!”

“Yeah yeah, pretty sure I would remember meeting a guy who looks like he’s one step away from dropping dead, now answer my question. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”

The man seemed to hesitate as he looked around to make sure no other people were around, which was dumb given that they were still very much in a public place “It’s kinda complicated” he said eventually, like the bullshitter he probably was.

“Look bitch, my whole life is ‘complicated’ ” exclaimed Izuku using obnoxious air quotes “So out with it!”

“What I’m about to tell you is extremely confidential” replied the man, with the grave seriousness of someone who’s about to reveal to their own son after ten years of absence that they’re a mercenary, and yes he is getting personal, fuck you “Under no circumstances are you allowed to tell anyone about my identity-”

“Your fuckin’ secret is safe with my indifference” deadpanned the boy.

The man sighed and took a tentative step back. Once again a cloud of smoke enveloped him. It disappeared almost as soon it came, revealing a figure of no-other than motherfuckin’ All Might.

“I suppose this form is more memorable , isn’t that right young Midoriya?” asked the man, as if he wasn’t a goddamn living legend revealing his secret identity to a kid whose hobbies include committing felony, ravaging through junkyards; and being gay.

“JESUS FUCK! You can’t just DO THAT! Revealing your secret to a random civilian? What the hell All Might, you had too much dumb bitch juice or what?” screamed Izuku, or rather ‘whisper screamed’ as he was trying to juggle scolding his ‘used-to-be role model’ and having an internal meltdown over scolding his ‘used-to-be role model’! To say that the situation he found himself in was bizzare would’ve been an understatement.

After all, it’s not everyday that you meet a man whose very face was a reminder of all the things you could not have, and the person you never got to be. He felt wronged, like the universe has robbed him of an opportunity, except that is not the case as there was nothing to steal to begin with. Still, that vicious little voice inside his head that always whispered ‘you can’t do this’, ‘you can’t have this’ in a poor imitation of Kacchan became almost bearable over time. Almost , being the key word. It became less of an insistent, self-deprecating chant it once was, and slowly morphed into something akin to a static noise from those old TVs; quiet and ever so slightly inconvenient at best, but otherwise unnoticeable unless one deliberately thought about it. And now, being forced to face All Might, Izuku could hear that voice louder than ever before, reminding him of what a failure he used to be, how naive he used to be and ‘did you really believe you could ever compare yourself to him? ’

“Actually, you know what? Nevermind” he continued, hoping to carry the conversation enough to distract him from his own thoughts “Just...why did you want to talk to me? After what happened?”

“Ah, yes! What you did during that villain attack was incredible my boy, reckless but incredible” exclaimed All Might, with the casualness of someone remarking on unusually nice weather despite his overly enthusiastic tone “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such honest bravery, especially from someone as young as yourself. Even when faced with a villain that other heroes did not dare to go up against, you still ran head first towards the danger, despite lacking any power yourse-” and his inspirational ramble got interrupted by a bloody cough and YET ANOTHER cloud of smoke, reverting him back to his skeletal form.

“Ok yeah- I get it! I’m awesome, the baddest bitch in the town and whatever the fuck, but CAN YOU PLEASE stop coughing up blood?”

All Might continued to wheeze for another minute or so, while Izuku and by extension Bandit were fretting over him.

“I apologise, my health is not what it used to be”

“I can tell”

“You see, 6 years ago I was fighting this one villain-”

“No, stop- don’t care” interrupted Izuku as he waved his hands in a dismissive manner “Please spare me the unnecessary narrative exposition, everyone already knows the story.”

“Who is ‘everyone’? And what are you talking about?” asked All Might in utter bewilderment.

“ Oh, you know ” says Izuku, addressing the reader more so than answering All Might.

That answer explained exactly nothing, but All Might was willing to let it drop and move onto the actual reason for his sudden presence, which if he was being honest with himself he was already regretting.

“Midoriya my boy” he said instead “The reason I wanted to speak to you is because I have a proposition for you...”

“Goddamnit! I knew it!” exclaimed Izuku in a sarcastic, yet over dramatic manner not unlike the characters from Shin’s favourite telenovelas “I knew you were a dirty bastard all along, picking up boys off the streets, using your hero persona to gain their trust-”

“I beg your pardon?!” shouted All Might, ever so scandalised as he did not catch onto Izuku’s joke.

“Then beg” deadpanned Izuku.

Making fun of the number one hero was all nice and good in Izuku’s opinion, but the man did seek him out for a particular reason and they’ve been loitering around the neighbourhood long enough. It was about the time to stop the jokes and get to the point.

“Ok ok, jokes aside, what do you want?”

“I want you to be a hero”

Ouch, too fuckin’ soon.

“Uhm, I don’t know how to tell you this you All Mighty fool but that’s not gonna happen” replied Izuku, utterly unimpressed and very much ready to start crying at any point now “I’m a ‘quirkless nobody’ remember?”

“That can be changed” announced the man, with such conviction that Izuku was almost willing to believe it, despite the ridiculousness of the statement.

“I don’t think it can”

“My quirk is rather unusual, in a way that it can be passed onto another person. I was also quirkless before it was passed onto me and so-”

Oh, no, no no - no fuckin’ way, this is not happening! He knows where this shit is going-

“-due to my health it’s about time for me to find a successor”

“All Might” said Izuku, his voice trembling in fear of what was coming “Don’t, please don’t ask me that question” because he couldn’t bear to hear it, the possibility that was all but wasted, that came far too late, that he let go off before it even presented itself-

“I want you to be a hero” repeated the man.

Instead of an answer, All Might received a pitiful wail.

Because it wasn't fair, wasn’t fair at all. Izuku knew that life wasn’t fair, the fact learnt and ingrained deep within his soul since the day he received the diagnosis. And yet THIS was a new height of cruelty all together, it made Kacchan’s remarks seem like light teasing in comparison. It took everything he once deeply desired, but couldn’t have. Everything he had to give up on that rainy afternoon 9 months ago in order to put himself back together after falling apart for something he could never have; it took all of that and dangled it in front of him like a cheap bait. It was pure mockery. It made his blood boil. So much so that he could do nothing but cry and fall on his knees.

“You know -sob- if you made that offer a year ago, I probably would’ve said yes”

“And now?”

“And now” he whispered in between the sobs “And now I’m gonna ask you to fuck off!”

“Why?” asked All Might, completely stunned by the boy’s reaction.

“BECAUSE I CAN’T DO IT!” screamed Izuku, like a wounded animal that he very much looked like “ I CAN’T BE A HERO, NOR DO I WANT TO BE ONE, NEVER AGAIN!”

It was all too much, far too much, he needed to leave, leave this conversation, leave this man, leave this thought and never look back.

He slowly stood back up, Bandit ever so faithfully waiting at his side holding one of his axes in his mouth like a dog who proudly brings the morning newspaper to their human. Still, it felt wrong to leave without saying anything else, especially considering All Might’s bewilderment.

“I-” and he wasn’t even sure how to explain himself “I always wanted to be a good person and help people, don’t get me wrong, but-”

“But?”

“-but I’ve learnt that being a hero and doing the right thing are two very different things” he stated, remembering the words of his father; words far too powerful, presence far too brief. “Being a ‘hero’ no longer stands for the bravery, nobility and selflessness. It used to, but now it’s merely a job title; a dangerous job yes, but it’s just a job. Originally all real heroes were vigilantes, weren’t they? They took the risk for the sake of doing the right thing, regardless of what the law said, and now heroes are just glorified cops” he ranted.

For a moment Izuku thought he said enough, but there was another thing; a personal thing , even more personal than the whole ‘failed dream’ and ‘existential crisis’ business.

“You said you used to be quirkelss as well, didn’t ya?”

The man in question nodded, not sure where this is going.

“So tell me, the great All Might” exclaimed Izuku as he approached the hero, spitting his name like it was a curse “Why did you accept that quirk?”

The man stood still, staring at Izuku, as if looking long enough will tell his the correct answer.

“Did you want to be a hero? Or did you want to do the right thing?”

“I-”

Ok, so maybe abruptly leaving All Might in the middle of the empty street wasn’t the smartest thing he’s ever done, but Izuku never denied being a dumbass so fuck him sideways. He was far too worked up for all of this bullshit. The day already turned to shit with the whole sludge fiasco and now the universe decided to test his patience and sanity (which he did not have much of anyway). Although he is a little glad that he left before he could dish out some of the more vicious things he had in stock, like calling All Might a ‘quirkless sellout’, or anything else of that variety as long as it got the point across. Sure he promised to keep the man’s secret, but he never promised to be nice about it, because fuck him, he can still do good things and help people, even without a quirk.

The point was that he was bitter, which ok, nothing new, but he was particularly bitter about the whole quirkless thing. It wasn’t so much that he thought of himself as worthless, those days were long over for the most part thanks to months of therapy. It was All Might’s offer that felt like a slap to the face.

Regardless of his current views on heroism he had potential , and isn’t that how the whole thing started? All Might approached him because he saw potential…

A potential that couldn’t be of much use without a quirk.

And didn’t that fuckin hurt.

He suddenly regretted burning the entirely of his All Might merch right after being discharged from the hospital, because now he had nothing left to destroy.

Nevertheless he dropped Bandit off at home - his mother already there, working on tonight’s dinner - and made his way to the Dagobah beach, or what was left of it anyways. During the past 9 months he became more restless; even with homeschooling he had far too much free time than he knew what to do with, which partially resulted in his shenanigans, but it also resulted in looking for a place where he could just be . His mother, bless her soul, was far too overbearing at times despite her good intentions and Izuku was a bit more than fed up with hearing “Are you ok?” every twenty minutes like a goddamn clockwork.

And so he started visiting the local beach, which hasn’t looked like a beach in a long time, as people began to dump their junk there years ago. Bad for the environment, great for Izuku’s need for solitude.

As he entered the beach grounds and began to stumble through the usual mountains of trash he greeted the few people who usually hanged around the place, one of them being the ‘Florida woman’.

Florida woman was not her actual name, but he never asked and she never told him. All he knew was that she was from Florida and that she frequented the trash beach grounds, because it was the only place empty enough where she could take her pet crocodile out on a walk without people screaming in terror at the giant reptile. The crocodile in question, named Cracksaw was lovely and much more obedient than Bandit, he couldn’t understand why people made such a big deal about it.

Another beach regular was Hitoshi, who Izuku met in a cat cafe last year. The guy looked like a lovechild of a zombie and one of those tiny troll dolls from the early 2000s, although Izuku’s hair is just as much of a mess, so he probably can’t judge. Hitoshi was also applying to UA’s hero course and so they originally agreed to meet up this morning so that Izuku could give him some words of ‘encouragement’ or whatever the fuck it is friends are supposed to say. However, since Izuku got caught up in an impromptu fight with a villain he wasn’t able to meet him in the morning.

“Where have you been this morning?” asked Hitoshi.

“Fighting a villain” replied Izuku, ever so casually.

“I can’t tell whether you’re joking or not”

“It’s better if you don’t”

Which is how most of their exchanges went anyway. The less they know about you the better afterall, at least according to the Florida woman. Nevertheless he got caught up in a bit of a smalltalk with Hitoshi, asking about how he did at the exam and so on.

“And so we’re all sitting here, the presentation is just about to start and suddenly the door slams open and some guys runs in-” remarks Hitoshi, more excited than Izuku has seen him in a long time, which to be fair doesn’t say much, because he still looks like he has a serious case of a tired bitch face “- foaming out of his mouth and muttering about fighting a sheep. For a moment I thought you had something to do with it, but the guy looked like he had rabies”

“It’s not rabies, that’s just his personality” replied Izuku, fully aware that he did in fact had everything to do with this, but was not willing to give out anymore details.

“All right, then. Keep your secrets.”

“Oh buddy, I sure will.”

#demise!au #bnha #boku no hero academia #fanfic #revival of midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku #All Might #shinsou hitoshi #iyashi shin #the florida woman

[mackenziebrooks23]

Ignite The Fire

Chapter 14- The Comeback

A few people had come up to me and talk to me. They would tell me good luck and that I got this. Roman even told me that he was proud of me for pushing myself to get back in the ring. I smiled and told everyone thanks, that told me anything. I had put my knee brace on my left knee when Seth had walked up. He asked" You sure you are ready for this?", I said" Yeah for the most part", Seth replied" Just promise me that I don't have to carry you out of the ring again", I said" I promise Seth. Let's go kick some ass, partner". Giving him a bitch look. Seth smirked and he knew that I was putting on a show. Mean we had to since we were backstage and at work. I let out a breath and watched as Seth headed to the doorway to walk out to the crowd. He looked at me once last time before he had to go out. He walked out and let the crowd have what they wanted. They wanted this match to happened so they were going to get it. 

I stood in the back waiting for Seth's music to stop playing. I kept moving side to side so that I would stay loose for our match. My music played and I went out on the part like I always do. I did my signature pose and walked down to the ring. Mike Rome announced" And his tag team partner from Davenport Iowa........Ryleigh Storm!!". I smiled as I went to both sides of the entrance ramp and slapped the hands of fans. Michael Cole spoke" It has been two years since Ryleigh has stepped foot in a wrestling ring since tearing her ACL", Corey said" The feeling of the WWE universe wanting her to do this is nothing compared to what she is feeling. Plus she has Seth Rollins as her partner, the one who carried her out of the ring when she received her injury", Renee added in" They must have so many emotions running through their bloodstream, epically Seth". I jump onto the ring apron and flipped over the top rope. Once I flipped I did my signature pose again.  I walked over and stood beside Seth waiting for our opponents to come out. They came out to their music and walked towards us. Mike Rowe said" Their opponents the team of Andrade Cien Almas and Zelina Vega!!"

They got into their corners to talk. Seth whispered" I'll start it if you want me to", I spoke," Maybe I wanted to start it". We kinda argued over it and we decided to do rock, paper, scissors for it. I won like I always do. Seth didn't argue and he let me stay in the ring. Zelina stood across from me. The ref called for the bell and it went ding. We both hopped around the ring for a bit and then locked up. Zelina kept punching me on the left side of my ribs and I let go of her. I held my side as Zelina went and bounced off the ropes to come back to me. I saw her coming and I gave her a back elbow. I turned and saw her laying on the mat covering up her mouth. I started kicking her and the ref told me to stop. I backed up and I threw my hands to tell him I stopped. He checked on Zelina and let me continue. Once she saw me coming she scooted back into her corner and tagged Andrade in. Knowing the rules of the mix match tag match. I backed up and I let Seth take it from there. I climbed through the ropes and stood there to watch.

I kept calling and hyping Seth up so that he could get some momentum to come to tag me in. Because during the commercial break Andrade pushed him into the LED post. Then Zelina smacked Seth in the face. That pissed me the absolute fuck off. First I am the only can smack him in the face. Well not like that we are together, but no one else should smack him. Once that happened I started walking towards Zelina, but the ref told me to get back in my corner. She kept talking shit when the ref told me that. I talked shit to saying watch what happens when we get back in the ring. I climbed back on the apron and held onto the rope. Andrade kept punching and kicking Seth. I kept calling for Seth as Zelina kept hollering at Andrade for doing a good job. Seth had popped up and started for Andrade. They both had a similar idea and bounced off of each other. Landing on the mat hard.

Soon Seth and Andrade were laying in the middle of the ring. I held out my hand so that Seth could tag me. Zelina was doing the same thing for Andrade. Seth got up and leaped to tag me in. I stepped into the ring and eyed Zelina. Andrade tapped Zelina in and she climbed into the ring. Zelina trashed talked to me and slapped me. I smiled and dusted where she slapped me. She was shocked and started running. I pulled her by the hair and slammed her into the mat. I flicked my hair and smiled. I was enjoying this entire thing. Renee Young said" Ryleigh is on fire! I've never seen her this active". Zelina got up and came at me with a punch. I dodge it and tripped her. We kept going at it. Zelina busted my lip and I could taste the blood. I knew my lip would be swollen in the morning. I was about to finish her off when Andrade got back up on the apron. He was trash-talking ref trying to distract him. Andrade also kept talking to try to distract me. I got tired of it and I turned towards him. I called to tell the ref to move. 

I gave Andrade an outfielder's elbow, and Michael Cole said" Outfielder Elbow!!!''. Andrade was still hanging onto the rope and Seth super kicked him off. Michael Cole spoke," Ooh a super-kick to Andrade". Seth trash-talked Andrade and didn't see that Zelina came up behind him. She kicked me in the side and knocked me back towards the ropes. So that I was not even close to Seth. Zelina then threw Seth out of the ring and trashed talked him. I was in their corner agonizing in pain. Because of all the soreness that was starting. With Zelina distracted, I climbed up to the second rope. Waiting for my moment to strike.

While I was up there, my nightmare started to make it's an appearance in my head again. I shook my head because I was stronger and I fought through it. Once Zelina turned around to face me, I jumped and kicked her in the face. This time I landed like I was supposed to. Michael Cole said" Omg! That move is how Ryleigh destroyed her knee!", Corey Graves responded" Ryleigh made sure not to make that mistake again", Renee Young called" The uproar kick connected perfectly!!!!! Zelina has to be out". I staggered a bit and looked to see that Zelina was in the middle of the ring. She had her stomach to the mat.  I turned and started walking towards Zelina. 

Renee Young said" What's Ryleigh thinking here?", and I knew what I was thinking. I stood over Zelina and bent down. I had one knee on the mat beside Zelina. The other knee was bent with my foot on the mat. I grabbed Zelina's right wrist with my left hand. Next, I bent her wrist back so it was up against her back. I wrapped my other arm around her chin and grabbed my left wrist. Then I started bending Zelina's upper body back.  Zelina kept saying "No no no", trying to get free. Micheal Cole said," The Storm Warning is locked in, will Zelina tap?". The ref kept asking Zelina if she is going to tap. She kept saying no and I bent her back a little bit more.

With that Zelina started tapping the mat. I heard the bell and the ref told me to let go. I let her go and stood up. I gave her a disgusted look as she rolled out of the ring. Mike Rowe announced," Here's your winner by submission, the team of Seth Rollins and Ryleigh Storm!!!". Seth had climbed back into the ring and walked on the other side of the ref. The ref took our wrists and raised them high. Corey Graves spoke" That is the most impressive effort I've ever seen", Michael Cole added" With this victory will it give Seth Rollins more motivation towards Wrestlemania when he faces Finn Balor?", Renee Young chimed in" It most certainly will Michael and an even better question will we see Ryleigh in the ring again because like Corey said she was impressive tonight". 

The ref dropped our hands and we rolled out of the ring. We walked up the entrance ramp. As Michael, Corey, and Renee talked about the rest of the night. Seth put his hand on my shoulder as we continued walking. He pulled me close and whispered," I'm proud of you", I said" Thanks and I kept my promise", he replied," Thank you for keeping it". I smiled and I kept checking my lip to see if was still bleeding. We got in the back and sat down. The trainers came over to check me out. Seth stayed to the side to let the trainers do their work. They tapped up the left side of my ribs. They said to take it easy for a couple of days. I nodded my head and they walked away. Seth said" How you feel?", I said," I feel good for getting back out there, but damn I forgot how much getting punched in the ribs hurt". Seth laughed and stayed by my side as I walked to the locker room. Becky saw us and hustled over. She said" I'll take it from here Seth", and Seth let her take over. I walked into the locker room.

#wrestling #wwe raw #writing #fanfic #seth rollins

[huntertales]

Part One: Looking In All The Wrong Places. (Goodbye Stranger S08E17)

Episode Summary: After a few months of silence, Castiel reappears in the reader and Winchesters' lives telling them Crowley has unleashed several demons into a small town to search for Lucifer's Crypt, which hold a valuable asset. While interrogating a demon, the four of them have been torturing Meg, who knows the exact location of the Crypt the king of hell is after. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 6,077.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

You and the boys had been calling the Men of Letters bunker your home for the past few months now and slowly reinventing it your own. There was still so much you needed to do in order to declutter and figure out what you had on your hands after the past owners mysteriously abandoned the place. You stumbled up plenty of objects and weapons you’ve never seen before. Instead of putting them back into storage and forgetting about them all together, you decided to go through them and see if they might be useful to you on a future hunt...if you knew exactly the weapons you were looking at.

You were told by one of the last remaining Men of Letters that their bunker was home to every supernatural artifact collected over thousands of years. You had a feeling a few of them would be rolling around in their graves if they saw all of their precious and priceless cargo collected over the past several hundred years was reduced to their boxes being stacked up on top of one another in the library,  hopefully not scuffing up their wooden floors. You were particularly fond of them, it’d be a shame if they got ruined because of this.

The brothers were the ones who pulled all of this stuff out after you discovered it while searching through the bunker, wondering what kind of rooms other rooms they built during their stay here. It was the perfect hideout layer for a hunter. You had a fully furnished kitchen to make actual meals and enjoy them. A shooting range if you wanted to practice your aim and a gym you used a few times to remind Dean that, while you were pregnant, you could still kick his ass if provoked. There was even an infirmary and morgue, luckily no dead bodies were found. And so many other rooms you felt like you haven't even touched yet. This place still managed to make you feel like you hit the jackpot on having the best home ever.

You and Dean had been going through the boxes for the past hour, not finding much of anything interesting to catch his attention while you had been at awe with everything. You felt like a little kid at Christmas from all the artifacts and history you were going to learn about these old things. Dean pushed back the top to another wooden crate he found and pulled out something peculiar that caught his eye. It appeared to be a weapon of some kind that was ancient for sure, but what it was and why the Men of Letters had it didn’t interest him.

“What the hell is this?” He muttered to himself, discovering a rectangular box that held a spear from the looks of it. He shifted around the box and found a small title card telling him what this thing was supposed to be. “Spear of Destiny? What is this—God’s toothpick? You know, would it have killed these asshats to label these boxes in something other than hieroglyphics? It's ridiculous."

“Already one step ahead of you.” You made your way around the pile of boxes with your phone to take pictures of the wording on the side of the box after placing post-it notes labeled with a number to give you a system to work with. Dean watched as you intently worked on taking the picture after labeling another box with a number, a quiet chuckle escaping his throat at the sight of you so diligent to get this for. You rolled your eyes from his reaction. "What? We need to know if these things are spell protected. And what all of these artifacts used for.”

“‘Artifacts’? Please. This is a bunch of junk at the most.” Dean said. He put back the next object he’d been observing in search for another that might be the slightest more interesting from the last one he observed. He watched you work for another few moments, your face full of concentration on what you were doing. “Let me guess, this is your kind of fun. Stuck with a bunch of dusty knick knacks and hours of research ahead for you. And here I thought Sam was the biggest nerd between the two of you.”

"Yeah, well, this nerd somehow saved your ass a few times. I might have not got a lot of action in my life, but I did get myself pregnant with this really handsome, but not all there in the head guy.” You teased him, smiling when you caught his reaction at your comeback. Dean reached for another priceless artifact that appeared to be a red and gold Faberge egg. You rolled your eyes when he made the mistake of opening it up and taking a whiff, only to flinch at the dusty odor. "It won't hurt us to see what we got on our hands. And get some kind of filing system down of our own. See what we’re working with and if we could use in the future. After all, our kid’s gonna inherit this stuff.”

“That’s you and Sam’s job. Right?” Dean asked his brother, expecting to hear a response that sounded like he was the least bit excited for the tedious work ahead for you and him. All Dean got back as a response was silence. When he was left hanging without an answer, Dean looked over to see the younger man was engrossed with his laptop, too caught up in his typing for at least some kind of verbal answer. "Hey. You listening to me?"

Sam looked up from his laptop at the sound of his brother's aggravated tone of voice from being ignored. "Yeah." He agreed to whatever it was that the man was talking about, hearing snippets of the conversation while he worked to not have a clue. "You should probably write it all down in your journal for the archives, you know?"

"Yeah, thanks." Dean muttered underneath his breath. "You're a lot of help."

You worked for another minute of labeling boxes and taking pictures to help ease your workload when you had to stop for a minute. You felt yourself coughing a few times from a sudden tickle in your throat. Thinking that it was done, you tried to go back to what you were doing, but it started back up again. Even worse than before. You felt yourself suddenly having a coughing fit that wouldn't stop. You made your way down the steps and to the table where Sam was sitting, grabbing a tissue when you felt something come out from your throat. You covered your mouth before it could escape and make a slight mess.

"Hey, little Miss. Tuberculosis," Dean called out to you when he noticed you were starting to sound pretty serious that made him grow a bit concerned. "You all right over there?"

When you felt yourself under control once more, you pulled the tissue away from your mouth to examine what you caught, expecting it to be nothing more than saliva or phlegm. Sam looked away from his laptop and to you when he heard the coughing fit that sounded like it took a bit out on you. While you appeared to be calm, you felt a rush of anxiety come over you at what you saw in the middle of the once stark white tissue—blood. Little droplets of red. You crumbled up the tissue and threw it into the trash, pretending like what just happened was nothing more than you having a coughing fit. Your lungs had a strange burning ache when you tried to take a deep breath before speaking.

"Yeah. I'm fine." You reassured the boys. "I just think I'm coming down with something."

Dean took your word for it, deciding to continue on going through the boxes to see what else he could find while you decided to take a break and a quick drink to help your throat. Most of the things he found was junk had no use for and would eventually end up forgetting about. He pulled out a folder from one of the boxes and discovered something that was worthwhile all of dragging out these boxes from storage. Dean hit the jackpot—retro porn.

Before “Busty Asian Beauties” there was a little magazine called "Voluptuous Asian Lovelies." Dean couldn't help himself when he started to flip through the magazine to see what kind of lovely women posed for back in the day. He felt a smirk slowly starting to spread across his lips at all the seductive faces.

"These Men of Letters weren't so boring after all." Dean said. He decided it would be wrong if he kept this find to himself when he headed over to you and his brother to tell you what he found, thinking you were going to be excited as he was. "Hey, check this out."

"What do you have?" You asked out of curiosity, thinking he had something actually important to show you. When you saw the cover of the old magazine he was holding his hand, you scoffed and rolled your eyes. You should have known better than to believe it wasn't going to be about something perverted. A room full of historical and priceless artifacts verses scantily clad women were no match for him. "What is wrong with you, Dean?"

"What is wrong with me? You kidding me? This is a first edition, sweetheart." Dean said. You leaned back in your seat and raised your brow, wondering why you should care about that fact. "You know what this would go for on eBay?"

"No. Why?" You asked. "Do you?"

Dean looked up from the magazine when you asked him a question, breaking his concentration away from the pretty ladies. You crossed your arms over your chest and have him a curious look as to what his response was going to be. He smiled slightly, as if he was trying to lie. "No. Maybe." Dean responded. You nodded your head slowly, biting your bottom lip to keep yourself from laughing at how terrible he was lying. And how caught he was. You didn't care, you just thought how adorable he got when he was embarrassed. "Shut up."

"Never gonna happen." You said, reaching for the other half of Sam's untouched sandwich he'd been ignoring for the past ten minutes while Dean pulled out a seat for himself. "Did you find anything interesting for us, Sammy?”

“I did, yeah—dead bodies showing up all over the midwest last week. Benton, Indiana; Downers Grove, Illinois; Novi, Michigan; and then again last night in Lincoln Springs, Missouri.” Sam said, listing off a few cities that didn't seem like they were anything special. Dean wondered why all of these cities were connected in your kind of way. "Because each of the victims had severe burns around their eyes, hands, and feet, puncture wounds through the backs of their hands, eyes and internal organs liquefied."

Dean smacked his lips and nodded his head, knowing well enough that it was the right amount of crazy to catch his attention. “That sounds like us.”

"Yeah. Also, no link between any of the victims.” Sam said, as if you needed more information to get you interested in the case. “Uh, one was a real-estate agent. Another was a local historian. Woman killed last night was a teacher.”

“So, chupacabra.” Dean sarcastically guessed what might to be blamed for all of this. "So what do we got? Power tools got rogue? Wait—are we talking a 'Maximum Overdrive' situation here?"

“I don’t know.” Sam admitted. “Worth a shot, though.”

“Sounds like it’s gonna be a fun one. I'll grab my gear. We should probably leave in five. And you might want to make another sandwich for the road, Sammy." You said between the last bite of the sandwich before swallowing it down. Sam only noticed now that you had polished off his lunch when you mentioned it, you gave him a smile at how annoyed he look. You got up from your seat and grabbed the plate, Dean continued to sit where he was with his full concentration on the magazine. “Unless of course, someone needs more time with Miss October.”

“What?” Dean asked, not sure what the conversation topic was anymore with his complete and total concentration on the magazine. He noticed you standing up with a hand on your hip, giving him a playful dirty look at what he was doing. "Yeah. Make it ten."

“You’re such a pervert.” You told him, knowing it was nothing new. It was part of Dean's charm that you enjoyed when the moment called for it, and grew to get annoying at times if you had to be honest. You smiled and walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and leaning down to give him a quick peck on the lips. “Good thing you’re cute, lover boy.”

The both of you smiled at one another before you headed off to pack a bag for the next few days and gather the supplies you might need. Dean flipped through a few pages before he decided he should get started on packing as well. He threw the magazine to the table and leaned in his chair to get himself back up to his feet. In doing so, his gaze casually glanced over the trash can. noticing crumpled up pieces of paper and notes written over the past few days. Dean found his attention focused on something that stood out like a sore thumb.

“Hey, Sammy.” Dean called out to his brother. The younger man was passing by and heading to his bedroom, only to be stopped for a strange sounding question that seemed like it came out of nowhere. "You get a bloody nose or something today? Paper cut?"

"No." Sam said. He made his way back to his brother, wondering what the questions were prompted by. When he noticed Dean was still holding the trash can, he peered down to see what he was staring at. Sam spotted a crumpled up tissue on the top of the papers, with something suspicious on it. "Wait. Is that—"

"Blood? Yeah." Dean muttered the response he didn't want to say out loud, because it meant what he'd been staring at for the past few seconds was real. He dropped the trash can back to the ground and let out a heavy sigh, knowing it came from you. Back when you had that coughing fit that wasn't the start of a cold. "Something's going on with Y/N. I know there is."

"It could be nothing. I mean, she's been coughing pretty badly over the past few days. She could be coming down with something. Maybe she cut her lip." Sam tried to suggest a possibility to help ease the worry he could tell was starting to come over his brother from what he saw. It didn’t. "Don't you think if she was feeling off she'd tell us?"

"Would you if you were in her situation?" Dean questioned his brother, knowing well enough what his response was going to be after he fell silent. If Sam was the one who was doing the trials and coughed up a little bit of blood he'd say nothing about it. Because that's how all of you functioned. You ignored a problem until you were near the edge of death, or...well, dead. "I knew this entire thing was a bad idea. She's been acting all sorts of weird lately."

"Yeah. That’s kind of what’s to be expected with everything going on lately. And besides, she seems to be acting fine since we got back. Maybe all she needs is a little time alone." Sam said. "Besides, if there was something serious going on she'd tell us. She's reckless, but she'd never do anything to put the baby in danger like that. I mean, after all, that's the reason why she's doing the trials in the first place."

You had been acting a bit more normal lately after you disappeared for a few when all of you got home from the drive back. Dean tried asking you where you went, you reassured him that you just needed some time to think. You were okay. Dean wasn't convinced that a little self therapy could solve the deep rooted issues that had been plaguing you for months. And seeing the bloody tissue made him feel even worse about this entire situation. It wasn't the first time you put on a happy face and said everything was okay, only in the end you were doing your best to tame the inner beast inside of you from coming out. And even that you couldn't do all the time.

Something was going on with you, and he needed to get to the bottom of it before it was too late. He wanted to confront you about the bloody tissue and figure out what caused it, even though he had his suspicions. But Dean knew that if he got too over the top you'd shut him out. Every part of hm was trying to remain calm about the situation. He decided the only thing he could do was sit back and keep a better eye on you, waiting for any kind of unusual behavior to pull the plug on this whole operation. Dean knew how much doing these trials meant to you, they were the chance at giving your child a better future all of you never had. But he couldn't do it at the expense of your own health—and the baby's as well.

+ + +

The next morning you and the boys were in Missouri, speaking to the widower of your latest victim to have died under suspicious circumstances that lead you here in the first place. Mr. Morton still seemed broken up about the unexpected passing of his wife, which made him willing answering any sort of questions the FBI might need answered. Anything to figure out what might have caused his wife to go out the way she did. Sam lead with the questions while you and Dean casually let your eyes roam around the home, trying to find anything that might explain what lead to the death of Ann.

“We just have a few routine follow-up questions about your wife, sir.” Sam said. Mr. Morton nodded his head in complaisance. “Did she have any enemies?”

“Ann? Honestly, I can’t think of a soul who’d want to hurt her, even after everything that happened.” Mr. Morton said. You found what he lead with a bit curious. You repeat back what he said to you, wondering exactly what he meant by that. "About a week ago, something changed in Ann. She was out of sorts, not herself at all.”

Personality changes was always a red flag for you, it meant the person Ann was and who her husband married might not be exactly who he remembered. Either she had someone riding around in her skin controlling her every action, or you were dealing with an invasion of the body snatchers here. “Out of sorts how?” Sam asked the man.

“It’d be better if I show you.” Mr. Morton said. You and the boys followed him down to the basement to what he found that was the first thing telling him something was wrong with the woman he loved. "She stopped sleeping. She stopped eating. She went out in the middle of the night, going God knows where. I tried to talk to her, but...she would just mutter to herself."

At first the basement looked like any other one you been in; old junk stored away, tools neatly put away for when the couple might need them, bikes hanging up. There was no indication that Ann was secretly a serial killer or keeping a prisoner, but she was up to something. You noticed a scale model of the town on full display, something that had to have taken someone a very long time to complete. If you cut out sleeping and her day job, it would give her endless amount of time to create an exact replica. You bent down to inspect the craftsmanship, Ann went as far to add little people to make it more realistic. It was unsure if she did this on her own, or the person pretending to be here did.

The most troublesome thing you noticed wasn't the model township she did in her free time, but the little bags of dirt that were hanging from the ceiling. You reached out to grab one of the little baggies, pushing on the contents to wonder what it was. Guessing from how it felt, it was dirt You heard of people collecting a small amount of sand from beaches they went to, collecting dirt was a strange habit that wasn't normal. You let the bag of dirt go, causing it to swing slightly in the air. You directed your attention back to Mr. Morton, wondering what Ann muttered to herself.

“Something about an orchard? Finally, I just followed her one night, and she went to the playground. Over here—the elementary school.” Mr. Morton pointed to a spot on the map where you spotted a little playground with trees and people, even toy cars as well. “And she started digging. She would leave with these little bags full of dirt. Hung them here. All these bags represent holes that she dug in the ground.”

“Were these holes, I don’t know,” Dean took a wild guess of how Ann worked and how far she went to find something from digging. "Six feet deep?"

“No. She dug for hours. She never broke a sweat. Straight down ten, maybe fifteen feet.

"Did you notice anything else?" You asked, hopeful there was more evidence to shine a light on the woman's odd behavior.

Mr. Morton fell silent from your question. Your expression softened from the thought that came to his mind, something that sounded like it would come from a crazy person. You didn't need to say anything for him to hesitate. Every little bit of information helped figure out what happened to his wife. All it took was a nod of reassurance that you wouldn't judge him for what was about to come out of his mouth.

“I didn’t say anything to the cops ‘cause I didn’t want them to think I was crazy.” Mr. Morton admitted. “After Ann came home, I came down here to confront her, and she was on the phone.”

“Any idea who she was talking to?” Dean asked.

“No. But I know what I saw. And it wasn't my Annie. After I called her out, her eyes...they turned black." Mr. Morton told you something that sounded like it was a trick of the mind. You and the boys knew that it was a direction into what was going on here. You felt your jaw tightening from the thought of having to deal with demons. "Now, I know I must have imagined it. I know I did. But I left. I went to the bar, probably had too much to drink, and by the time I came back...my Annie was…”

Mr. Morton let out a heavy sigh, not needing to say about what happened to his wife. It was the reason why the three of you were here in the first place. It meant while he was gone someone was already onto what Ann was, broke into the house and did your job for you. "I should have stayed. I should have protected her.” Mr. Morton mumbled, feeling guilty for all what he could have done to save his wife. “I’m moving into my sister’s place today. I can’t be here anymore.”

"Sure. Too many memories." You said, nodding your head at what the man was feeling at the moment. You gave him a sympathetic smile from the unexpected loss he was going through, and the list of unanswered questions he would be burdened with for the rest of his life. "Thank you very much for your time. We're all very sorry for your loss."

You and the boys excused yourselves out after saying a formal goodbye to Mr. Morton. You had an idea from what was going on here. And you weren’t sure how to feel about it. Demons were always a pain in your ass with their sketchy plans to complete some sort of project their king wanted done without having to get his hands dirty in the first place. Crowley had been quiet for a few months now after you busted his plan of torturing that poor angel. After you murdered his pet you knew it a matter of time until you came face to face with him again. The question was what him and his goons were doing, and how someone was killing them.

For some reason that little detail was bothering you the most. You followed behind the boys out of the house and to the Impala parked on the sidewalk, just a few feet away. You placed a hand on your chest from the burning feeling slowly creep into your chest. You presumed it was just heartburn, one of the many fun things about pregnancy. You had it a few times before, but it never quite reached your lungs like it had yesterday. You made your way down the steps, taking in a deep breath to compose yourself after the pain passed by.

“So, somebody’s killing demons. Well, that is awesome.” Dean said. He sounded a little too enthusiastic about hearing the news that shouldn't be possible for hunters. There were only two weapons for someone to kill demons from what you knew. And one of them was always in you and the boys’ possession. Dean didn't seem to linger on the details, he was just happy someone was helping carry the load. "I feel like we should send a card or flowers. What kind of flower says 'Thanks for killing demons'?"

“Yeah, but who’s killing demons? And why?” Sam asked, sounding confused as you were from what was going on here. Demons were the type of monster who liked to possess people and get their hands dirty by torturing and killing to get what they wanted. Not in the sense of getting down on their knees to dig for something. "And, by the way, since when does a demon possesses someone, then go all 'Beautiful Mind' and digging in the dirt? Does any of this seem right to you guys?”

"I like the part about killing demons." Dean said, giving no help. "That sounds right."

You rolled your eyes from the lack of help he could give on the insight of the case and what you might be trying to stop here. You opened up the backseat door and slipped yourself inside, knowing there was still one more lead you had to chase along with a few phone calls you needed to make on the way to the next house on your list.

Sure, it was nice someone was going out of their way to take down demons. It made your job a little easier from the number of possible enemies working on this little project of theirs. That part really wasn’t bothering you. It was how they were going upon it and icing off demons that was making you feel saying thank you to the person helping. You had a feeling it wasn't a hunter who was taking down the common enemy the both of you shared.

+ + +

On the drive to the next house, you made a phone call to another victim's spouse to see what she could tell you about her husband's sudden passing and if she had to say the same as Ann's husband did. You listened to what she had to say, jotting down notes about the same behavior Ann had inhibited before her passing. When you felt the Impala slowly coming to a stop, you looked out the backseat window to see that the three of you arrived at your next destination. You tucked away your small notepad into your jacket pocket and blazer's pocket and opened up the door with your free hand, all while finishing up your conversation.

"Of course. Well, thank you very much for all your help. I really appreciate the time. Alright. Goodbye." You ended the phone call, slamming the backseat door with your hip and stepped onto the sidewalk to join the boys and tell them what you found. "So, the real-estate guy's wife said he was acting weird. Historian's hubby said the same—just got all obsessive and weird. No one saw any black eyes, but still, where there’s smoke, you know…”

"I wonder what they're all looking for." Sam said. You shrugged your shoulders from the lack of any lead you had going for you and the boys, heading up the porch steps and to the front door.

“Well, Wendy Rice here was the last person to speak with Ann so let’s see if she can tell us.” Dean said.

Sam knocked on the door as you pulled out your badge from your pocket, making sure it ready when you saw it open a few moments later. You saw a woman who looked to be in the middle of getting ready from the curlers in her hair answer the door, only to be bombarded with three badges to greet her. "Special Agent Lynne." Sam introduced himself to Wendy, along with his brother and then yourself. "These are my partners Special Agent Tandy and Special Agent Koerner. We'd like to ask you a few questions about Ann Morton."

"Oh. Uh, uh, uh, of course. Please come in." Wendy nervously chuckled at the sight of two handsome faces on her front porch, when she wasn't the least prepared to look her best. She smiled and softly played with her curlers to make sure they were in place before welcoming you into her home. She ushered you to take a seat in her living room and came back with four cups of coffee to discuss the reason why all of you were here in the first place. "I had never met her before she called the other night.”

“Now,” Sam smiled at the woman when she handed him a cup of coffee, asking her a question that might lead you one step further into what was going on. “Why was she calling you?”

“She was looking to find an original map of the city.” Wendy said.

“Did she say what for?” Sam asked in hopes for more specific information.

“Well, she didn’t, but she did mention an old orchard that had gone missing.” Wendy went on. You raised your brow slightly from what she said, wondering what caused it to disappear in the first place. “This town was wiped from the earth by one of the river’s hundred year floods. It was rebuilt. But all of the original records were lost. I’m—I’m a PhD candidate.”

Wendy nervously chuckled once again as she played with her curlers. You sat on the love seat next to hers, knowing well enough the school girl giggles was because of how accomplished she sounded to the boys, who she was facing while the conversation went on. You subtly rolled your eyes. Wendy got up from her seat to grab a binder from her desk to show all of you what Ann had searched out for. You put down your cup and scooched out of your chair to inspect the detailed map Wendy had created and laid over the coffee table.

"And this is my research. My dissertation is on the history of this town and its connection to the underground railroad and whatnot.” Wendy went on, smiling at her accomplishments she got to brag about. She pointed a finger at the stop in which Ann was talking about. “I've been working to re-create a map for years as part of my research, and this is the old Jakubiak orchard there. I found out yesterday it’s where Downey meets Bond street.”

“Now, did Ann say why she was looking for the site of an old orchard?” Sam asked the woman.

"No. We set a time to meet, and she never showed. Then I read about her in the paper. It's just tragic." Wendy said, falling silent for a moment from the unexpected turn of events she never saw coming. "Ann's assistant called this morning, though, asking if I still had the map."

You and the boys exchanged a glance from hearing about this assistant that Mr. Morton never mentioned, and found a little odd of why Ann would have one in the first place, considering she was just a high school history teacher. All of you got up to your feet and followed behind Wendy when she answered the door, revealing this so called assistant. You were expecting one person to pick up the map, not three men to do a simple job.

If you already had your suspicion any of them being Ann's so called assistant, you were proven right when they showed themselves for what they truly when you saw three pairs of inky black eyes in your direction. You had beaten them to what they wanted. But it seemed nothing was going to stop them from getting what they came here for.

One of the demons grabbed a hold of Wendy and threw her across the room as if she was nothing, knowing she was no more than a bystander in the fight that was about to break out. If it was a fight they wanted, it was one they were going to get. You thought you were still more than capable of defending yourself against anyone who wanted to pick a fight with you, even in your condition. You were waiting until a demon crossed your path again. While the brothers were drawn into a fight, there was still one that was unaccounted for.

You saw the third one trying to grab the map from the floor, where an unconscious Wendy laid. You managed to beat him to the piece of paper before he could get his grubby hands on it. While you were ready to do anything you needed to make sure it stayed that way, you didn't take into consideration he wasn't going to go down without a fight. And the knife that could kill him was currently in Dean's hands. You felt a sudden rush of pain in your face from the punch the demon threw, making you stumble back slightly. Any other day you would have been able to defend yourself in a fight, but for some reason you were off your game today.

You felt the map slip out of your hand when a grip around your throat came out of nowhere, cutting off the supply of oxygen that you needed to breathe. Normally a punch to the face and a hand around your throat was nothing more than adding fuel to your anger from how the demon was trying to pick a fight with you. You were all set to kick his ass, but you were more concerned with the fact that you couldn't breathe. The demon dragged you over to the nearest wall and tried to keep this fight going with you, however he didn’t take into consideration that there was someone else wanting to pick a fight with him.

Sam thought he managed to subdue one demon long enough to throw the one off you before he could choke you to death. Dean was about ready to stab the demon he was fighting against, but before he could, he watched as he slipped out of his meat suit in favor for Wendy. Everything happened so quickly after all. You saw one of the demons somehow manage to escape with the map while Sam tried to fight the one you went up against. The younger Winchester managed to only throw a few punches before he found himself being blinded by an unexpected burst of light.

When the air began to come back in your lungs and the room stopped spinning, you noticed that Wendy was subdued and the demon that attacked you were dead. His eyes burned out of his sockets. The person who saved your life was somebody you hadn't seen in a good few months after he disappeared under strange circumstances—Castiel.

[Next Part]

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[punkpoemprose]

Strange Magic- A Kristanna Smut Weekend Fic

Universe: Modern Witch AU

Rating: M (Mature: LEMONS AHOY, oh God I still can’t believe we’re going back to lemons.)

Length: 5104 Words

A/N: Sorry I’m a couple hours late guys! Here’s some smut for day one!

Anna sighed as she put the finishing touches on dinner, flicking her wand to make the salad toss itself, relieved when she didn’t fling lettuce halfway across the kitchen. She had been clumsy lately, or even clumsier than usual. I seemed that even the most basic spells were going awry as of late and after she accidentally caused the water in a customer’s bottle to spontaneously boil as her mind wandered, she decided that she needed to attack the source of the problem.

She flipped the cookbook closed with one hand and with the other, flicked her wand again. The salad bowl ceased tossing itself and instead floated over to the table without so much as a crouton dropping. The massive serving bowl of pasta Anna had just sauced followed it, leaving her to set two places at the table by hand. That was completed easily enough, but as her mind started to wander to other thoughts, the same ones she’d had in the shop just a few days before, she could feel herself growing warm. Kristoff was going to arrive home at any moment, and she was finally going to address the elephant in the room that only she could see, but she was beginning to second guess that Valentine’s dinner was the place to do so. It had seemed so perfect just hours before, but now, as she glanced over at the candle she’d set in the middle of the table and found it wordlessly ignited, she was beginning to panic.

It seemed that she’d burn something down soon if she didn’t address the cause of her sudden lack of focus. She wondered if her parents were rolling around in their graves, the many years of work they’d put in to teaching her and Elsa how to control their gifts all but going up in smoke on her end of the deal. She flushed and imagined all her ancestors back to the old country coming down on her for the way she was losing all control over the sheer idea of getting involved in the sort of magic she’d accidentally found in an old spell book.

When she heard the front door open to Kristoff’s cabin, she squeaked, trying to clear the thought from her mind, and instead found herself accidentally sending a wine glass off the table.

“Anna! Are you..?”

Anna kneeled down immediately, picking up broken pieces of glass from the floor as Kristoff entered his kitchen, still wrapped in his winterwear. She wondered if she could avoid setting her own hair alight as she looked at the way his face was awash with concern.

“Fine! I’m fine! Just clumsy, you know me! Go get undressed and…” She panicked over her word choice and could only become even more flustered as the other glass took a telekinetic swan dive off the table and shatter before his feet.

He stared for a moment, appearing shocked, but it didn’t take long before he collected himself. Anna still wasn’t certain how she had been lucky enough to find him, but when she thought back to the fact that her clumsiness was what brought them together in the first place it made more sense. In any case, she still couldn’t wrap her head about how he was adapting so quickly, always rolling with the punches and learning on the fly when being with her meant accepting the existence of, and frequently ducking because of magic.

Seemingly unperturbed he walked to her, his boots crunching on the remnants on wineglass scattered across his kitchen floor as he went. Anna didn’t fight it when he lifted her from the floor and pulled her into his arms. There was no sense in it. She was embarrassed and anxious, but if there was ever a place she felt safe it was in Kristoff’s arms.

“One, no you’re not,” he said gently as he pulled her even closer and walked them both out of the room, “And two, I’m not letting you clean up glass without shoes on.”

Anna sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely as he walked them both into the Livingroom and sat with her on his lap on the couch. His old sofa groaned as if annoyed to have their combined weight undistributed, and Anna, still befuddled, focused her attention on unzipping his jacket. The snow that clung to him from the wintry February air outside was quickly melting. She knew that she would be doing herself no favors by getting them both wet from his outer layers as God forbid, he took his pants off. She was liable to burn his house down with impure thoughts.

Kristoff, following her lead, pulled his hat from his head and leaned into Anna’s space a bit more to remove his arms from his coat. The garments landed in an unceremonious heap at the opposite end of the sofa and Anna carefully unwound his scarf from his neck and added it to the pile.

“So,” Kristoff said, pulling Anna into a more comfortable position, still on his lap, but with part of her weight resting on the side arm of the couch, “Want to talk about it? If not I’ll assume the house is haunted and sweep up.”

Anna, really not wanting to talk about it, relaxed a bit into his arms and let out a sound that was halfway between a huff and a laugh.

“I’m the only thing haunting your house.”

She wasn’t looking at his face, but she could feel the grin on his face, seeing it in her mind’s eye when he joked in return, “Oh God, someone call an exorcist.”

She couldn’t even muster up the energy to swat at him playfully or come up with a good comeback to his teasing. Suddenly her Valentine’s day plans were seeming even more ill thought out than they were just before he arrived. She really hadn’t known what she was thinking, other than that she really needed to talk with him about something to get her head back straight and that a dinner date seemed like the right way to broach the subject.

She felt his hands move to her shoulders, his thumbs immediately setting off to work at the tense muscles beneath them. It felt good, as it always did when he touched her, and it was barely anytime at all before she felt a warmth wash over her.

He leaned in and she could feel how close his lips were to her ear when he whispered that he was only teasing. The warmth she felt as his breath tickled her neck was concentrated in her lower stomach, and once again they were torn from their revelry, this time by the glass in the photo frame on his end table audibly cracking and falling from the frame.

Anna all but leapt off his lap.

“Anna!”

He hadn’t shouted, but to Anna, already overwhelmed and anxious, it felt like the last straw. She heard something else in the next room over smash, and despite all her plans, she dashed towards the front door, embarrassed and frightened.

She might have had a chance at escape if it weren’t for Kristoff’s uncanny ability to always know what kind of impulsive act she was going to attempt before even she did. By the time she took three steps she was being held by him again, pressed to his chest firmly, but not restrictively.

She was crying, and he was shushing her. She hadn’t been so overwhelmed or out of control in a very long time and thinking of why she was acting so foolishly just made her more embarrassed. It was only when she realized that he was saying something that she started to calm herself down.

“It’s okay Anna, whatever it is, it’s okay. Spell gone wrong, burnt dinner, accidently put love potion in my coffee…again, the end is nigh, really whatever it is, it’s okay.”

That was enough to make her look up at him, refocusing herself by concentrating on the way he was looking at her. He didn’t seem upset in the least, and if it weren’t for the fact that she’d seen him get mad on a few occasions, though never at her, she wouldn’t believe he had it in him. The way he looked at her was calm but warm, his eyes full of concern, but his lips portraying just enough of a smile for her to see that he meant the words he was saying. She had a history of misreading intentions, but Kristoff’s thoughts and emotions were always right there for her, like a pop-up book.

Slowly, but surely she calmed.

“I’m so sorry,” she said despite knowing that he didn’t want her to apologize.

Kristoff shook his head, “Just tell me what’s up Anna. Are you going to be alright?”

She nodded in return. She wasn’t sure that she was going to be alright, but she was sure that if he was going to be more worried about her than all the shattered glass in his house, he deserved for her to try to be alright. She knew why she was freaking out, why she couldn’t get a handle on herself, but it felt ridiculous to speak about aloud.

“I want to have sex with you.”

Kristoff, despite his usual ability to know what she was going to say next, or at least his ability to remain mostly unphased by what she said, all but choked on his words.

He was quick to recover, as he always was, but Anna was cherry red.

“Uh, okay? Like right now? Or dinner first?”

Anna shook her head, emboldened a bit by his surprise and lack of reluctance, “Look… I know that this I going to sound crazy, but it’s not the sex that has me…”

She sighed and took a step back, pressing her hand over her face for a moment before removing it to face him properly. She’d already destroyed half his house from holding it in, it was now or never.

“I’ve been destroying things around the shop, like here with the glass… but it’s because I’m… distracted…”

He nodded, “Distracted about… having sex… with me?”

She nodded in return, “That’s part of it. Well that’s a whole lot of it, but really the issue with my control is because I, um… I found a book… a grimoire really. It was old. I think it belonged to some great great aunt from several generations back, but anyway…it detailed some stuff that, well, no one’s ever taught me before about magic. A bunch of passages about a specific type of magic. Strong stuff, and well once I got into reading what it was about it was too late because I really really wanted to try it and then I saw what it entailed and I won’t say it wasn’t already on my mind, but…”

“So…magic and…”

“Sex magic Kristoff. It was about sex magic.”

His reaction time was back to it’s usual impeccable speed, and when he kissed Anna’s forehead and merely said “Okay”, she was the one left processing.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

“So, none of that… freaked you out?”

“My beautiful, smart, funny, talented girlfriend wants to have sex with me. Why would I be freaked out? Because there’s magic involved? I mean, I don’t really know what it will entail, but we got together in the first place because of a magic mishap, and I’ve watched you do plenty of spell work, so no. I’m not freaked out.”

“Are you sure… because I accidently boiled water in a customer’s water bottle thinking about it and honestly, I didn’t think you’d take it this well.”

Kristoff grinned mischievously and kissed her forehead again, “As long as you promise not to turn me into a frog we’ll be fine.”

Anna pouted, “You know that’s a…”

“Urban legend and vicious lie,” he said, finishing her sentence with a chuckle before returning to seriousness, “Anna, I trust you. I’ve been ready to get intimate with you for a while and if you want to involve magic, I’m okay with that. It’s just one more thing I get to share with you. You have my consent.”

Anna sighed and the hot feeling she had before returned, this time far more welcomed. “And you have mine.”

***

Anna was in his arms again, her lips pressed against his neck as he carried her to his bed. He wasn’t rushing, despite the fact that she’d nearly destroyed his house and their Valentine’s day altogether with her anxiety and want, he still wanted to take things slow. It was as excruciating as it was sweet, and she wanted nothing more than to get both of their pants off and express her appreciation for everything he was to her.

“So,” he said, breathless and groaning softly as she pressed another kiss just below his ear, “anything I should know before…”

She flushed a bit as he brought them both down onto the mattress. He fell back slowly, positioning them so that she was atop him and he was looking up at her. Scooting until she was comfortable, she got her first feeling of him through the material of both of their pants. He was hard and she was only somewhat used to the sensation. They hadn’t had sex yet in the conventional sense, but there had been plenty of nights where she’d felt him pressed against her bum when they spooned, and a few occasions where they’d touched each other through fabric. She was only starting to realize just how slow they’d been taking it. She wasn’t sure that she’d been in a relationship that went this long without sex since she was in high school.

“Well, um… spells like this are all about harnessing energy and putting it behind an intention. Mine is that the shop will prosper this year, and yours can be your own or the same as mine, whatever you’d like. It’s a ritual so you don’t really need any natural talent to perform it, but I assume it strengthens it. Also, I, um, may have drawn a chalk sigil under your bed… and I cleansed the space with sage and I did some… other stuff, but don’t worry about it. Uh… the only other thing is it works better if we… you know… together.”

Kristoff chuckled and brought his hand up to touch the side of her face gently. Anna leaned her cheek into his palm and with all the lights in the room still on, made note of his blush.

“Anna, I meant…” he trailed off and smiled, pushing himself up until there was no space between them, his lips just mere inches from hers. “I meant anything I should know about you. I mean that’s all good to know, and uh,” he looked away sheepishly for a second before returning eye contact, “No promises on the same time part, but I’ll do my best.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips and she melted in return, kissing him back, her hands moving to his shoulders, a hand reaching up to tangle into his hair. Her fingernails raked against his scalp, and she couldn’t help but to rock her hips into him when he moaned in response to her giving a light tug at his hair. His hands were on her hips, pulling her closer, encouraging her to move against him.

“I wanted to know what you want Anna,” he muttered against her lips, “I wanted to know how you like it. I wanted to know how I could make it good for you.”

Anna moaned and recaptured his lips with hers, he was inhumanly perfect at times. He always seemed to put her first, letting her be herself, encouraging her to chase after the things she wanted, doing his best to bring her pleasure in anyway that he could.

“Ah! Kris, just,” she panted as she broke their kiss, her hips still grinding into his hips. She needed to get rid of the fabric between them. She needed to feel him. “Two things. One, I need you naked… us naked. Now.”

She didn’t manage to get to her second point as he reached immediately for the hem of her shirt and started to pull it off her in record time. She couldn’t help but giggle at his willingness to commit to her command of timeliness in stripping them both of their clothing, and as he tossed her shirt to the side and started to unbutton his own, Anna took to the small effort of unbuttoning and unzipping both of their pants.

When they both made to stand up as quickly as possible to rid themselves of their pants, Anna fell into another fit of giggles. She was sure that they looked ridiculous, nearly tripping over one another in their attempts to remove their clothes.

Kristoff laughed in return, deep and hearty as he managed to shift away enough to tug off his own trousers and socks before turning to help Anna out of the skinny legs of her own pants.

“Your second command?” he asked breathlessly with a lopsided and entirely lovesick grin as he collected her again and returned to their position of his back pressed against his headboard and Anna straddling his lap.

“Whatever you think of… whatever your intention is…” Anna giggled to herself, knowing that Kristoff would likely find her thought more comical than off putting, “Don’t let it be about fertility, okay?”

Kristoff snorted and tipped his head forward to kiss her once again, “I solemnly swear.”

Anna giggled in return, but leaned away from his kiss, “That phrase better not end with ‘that I’m up to no good’ or I really will find a way for your house to end up haunted.”

He grinned devilishly and leaned forward where she leaned back, causing them to fall back onto the bed, giving him the upper hand and a place above her.

“I promise you that I’ll think of anything else,” he said honestly before kissing her lips and working his way, slowly but surely to kiss down her chest and to the space between her breasts where the clasp of her bra lay.

Anna had all but forgotten that she’d put thought and effort into her lingerie. Her focus had been so fully on Kristoff, on what they were about to do that she’d forgotten about all the preparations she’d put it, including a trip to the intimates section of the local department store and a dinner that was getting cold in the kitchen.

He at the very least, seemed to be enjoying her efforts, his lips moving from the clasps to press more kisses around the skin brushed by the tops of the bra’s lacy cups. When he seemed to tire of it he sat up a bit, and looked to her for permission before releasing the clasp, tossing the fabric to the wayside with the rest of their clothes and returned his mouth to her chest. When he captured a nipple in his mouth, Anna felt an electric current race up her spine and bucked her hips up again towards his.

When he chuckled and flicked his tongue, she forgot all about cold dinner and shattered glass. If he’d asked her her name at the same moment, she may have forgotten it too, but he quickly supplied it to her as he went about his work, kissing and licking, sucking and rubbing.

“Anna, you sure you want this?”

It was a cruel teasing question just as much as it was a proper and polite and they both knew it. His interest in her continued consent stemmed not only from his gentlemanly manners, but also from his love of hearing her say that she wanted him. She loved telling him just as much as he enjoyed asking.

She was already unraveling under him, his mouth and one hand only touching her breasts had her hips bucking, begging for friction. She had wanted nothing more than for him to make love to her for a very long time.

“Kris, I need,” she made a frustrated sound to communicate, and he kindly acquiesced, lowering his hips to her so that she could capture a bit of much wanted friction for herself.

She was greedy, spreading her legs and inviting him in closer and closer so that she could feel him, hard and hot above her.

His mouth left her breasts as she moved against him, and his moans mixed with hers as they moved against each other. His mouth was on hers, their kisses wet and passionate. When he broke their kiss to breathe, they were panting together, eyes locked as their bodies rocked together.

She still couldn’t believe that they’d managed to go so long without going any further than they were right now. Neither of them was afraid to have sex with the other, it was neither of their first times, but it had never felt like the right moment until now. She was going to be damned if they stopped now, unless of course he wanted to, but when he pressed into her and moaned from the similarly positive sensation of friction and thin fabric, she knew that he was of the same mind.

Hands that were roaming across his back, playing with his hair, moved quickly over his chest, lower and lower until she met the waistband of his boxers.

“Off!” she commanded, staring into his eyes as she made the demand.

He was more than happy to comply, but once his boxers were off, he turned his attention immediately to getting Anna’s panties off and sending them off to wherever its matching top had landed.

Anna’s eyes, while he rid her of her last remaining layer, were focused on his manhood.

He was much larger than any of the other men she’d been with, that was for sure. He’d always felt big through the fabric of his boxers when they’d touched, but now seeing it for the first time, she was shocked in the most pleasant way possible. She thanked every single deity that would listen and several that wouldn’t, that her clumsiness had lead her to him.

“Anna?”

He was looking at her expectantly, and Anna was struck with the realization that he’d said something while her attention had been elsewhere. She couldn’t find it in herself to apologize.

“What?”

He grinned, clearly aware of what had distracted her. “I was asking if I could eat you out?”

She flushed but nodded eagerly. They had talked more about sex together than they had engaged in and it was something that he’d mentioned enjoying, and something she’d wanted to try. No one had ever put their mouth on her before, but she’d been up at night on several occasions thinking about Kristoff’s head between her thighs.

Taking her enthusiastic consent as it was given, he quickly went back to kissing down her body, starting from her breasts and working his way down her stomach, paying particular attention to the places in which he knew her to be ticklish.

Anna let out a sound somewhere between a giggle and a moan as he pressed wet, open mouthed kisses to her stomach, but the sound was quickly replaced by a sharp intake of air when he moved lower and placed a similar kiss to her sex.

Her thighs clenched instinctively, but his hands were already on them, gently keeping them parted as he put his mouth on her.

His thumb rubbed gently across the skin of her thigh, a gentle touch adding to the overall sensation. It was all too much and not enough at once, but given the gentle prompting of his hands, she spread her legs just a bit more for him, giving him better access and feeling comfortable enough to reach her hand down and tangle her fingers once again in his hair.

He groaned when she tugged slightly at the strands and Anna all but shouted his name when he shifted his head slightly so that his nose brushed against her clit and his tongue joined the game, lapping at her wetness like a man starved.

“Ah! Kris!”

He hummed in return and looked up at her.

Anna knew that she was already coming undone. She had dreamt of his mouth on her, but she’d never imagined all the ways it would make her feel beyond just the physical, and even there she had sorely misjudged just how good it would feel.

She felt like a goddess, seated on her throne, powerful and beautiful as Kristoff’s mouth worshipped her. She’d seen a similar image sketched into the grimoire that brought them here, and if she was being honest with herself, she’d recognize that the thought of this act in particular was what had her so out of control for the past week.

She met his eye and could feel his smile better than she could see it. She moaned and tugged at his hair again, if only to give him some small understanding of how good he was making her feel.

“If you keep that up,” she panted, “I’m going to…”

He understood, she knew that he did, and yet he still shifted his face and took her clit into his mouth and sucked.

Anna had to focus on holding herself back. She cried out and several curses both English and Latin came out interspersed with his name.

He lapped again at her entrance after a moment and then lifted his head.

He looked utterly debauched and Anna, still reeling from personally withheld orgasm, couldn’t bring herself to be even slightly annoyed with him. He looked at her with a lazy smile on his lips, licking them in a manner that nearly drove Anna mad.

“Kris, please.”

He grinned fully then and leaned forward to kiss her.

She could taste herself on his tongue and together they eased into position.

Her shoulders met the mattress once again and she was only slightly confused when he reached up for a pillow and tucked it under her bum. She gave him a curious glance, but he merely smiled in return before lifting her legs up to rest against his shoulders as he positioned himself at her entrance.

He turned his head slightly and pressed a soft kiss to her ankle.

“Ready?”

She smiled and let out a small, breathless, “yes”.

He leaned down a bit and pressed into her.

Anna’s head fell back as he entered her. It was a stretch and fullness that was entirely new to her despite her previous forays into the world of sex. She had a feeling their position had something to do with it, because his face shifted between a state of pleasure and a state of “believe me now?” quicker than she would have thought possible.

She moaned out and chuckled as he moved in her.

“Good?” he groaned.

“Great!” She replied, although the word she was looking for was closer to amazing.

His hands went to her waist, pulling her into him as he thrusted into her. The grip of his hands against her waist only added to the sensation of being covered and filled and Anna could only look up at him in return and moan variations on his name and the same curses from before. She was already close, and from the look on his face she knew that he was as well.

They weren’t virgins by any means, but it didn’t mean that they weren’t keyed up and overstimulated.

“Touch yourself.”

It came out somewhere between a question and a command, but Anna obeyed, the space between them enough for her to comfortably reach her hand down and stroke her own clit. It didn’t feel nearly as good to her as his mouth, or even his hand through the fabric of her panties, but with his hands engaged elsewhere, she made do.

Her eyelids fluttered shut and she felt him grip ahold of her just a bit tighter. He was close, he was holding on for her.

“Fuck, Kris,” she moaned as she touched herself, adding to the sensation of his cock rubbing against just the right spot, “Kris I’m so close!”

He all but growled in return and Anna opened her eyes. He was staring openly at her, eyes dark and full of lust as he focused on her touching herself as he thrusted into her. The way he was looking at her, so in awe of the effect he was having on her, was enough to send her over the edge.

Her lids fluttered back closed and it was only as she felt the first wave of pleasure that she thought, somewhat humorously, of business success.

It was only when her own orgasm ended that she opened her eyes and saw Kristoff looking equal parts exhausted and pleased, looking down at her.

“Did you?”

Anna grinned and lowered her legs back to the bed as he pulled himself from her.

“You know that I did,” she replied, “It was…” she shook her head as he kissed her leg again before collapsing at her side and pulling her close.

“Magical?” he offered, and Anna could only laugh in reply.

“I think we were a couple seconds off on the orgasm timing,” he said seriously as he pressed another kiss into her hair, “think it still worked?”

Anna shrugged, “I don’t know honestly. I guess the only way to know for sure is if we see the results we hoped from the spell. So what did you settle on… just so we can use it as a way to know.”

He chuckled warmly, “I…uh… thought about getting more chances to perfect my timing.”

Anna, rolled over to face him.

“Seriously?”

He grinned sheepishly, “Honestly watching you orgasm Anna… when mine came along, seeing more of that was the only thing on my mind.”

Anna laughed, but couldn’t help but to lean forward and kiss him for it. “You don’t need magic for that, you just need to ask… though maybe it will mean that we get left alone more often.”

Kristoff grinned, “I call that a good use of magic.”

“I can’t argue with that, but next time maybe…”

He interrupted her, “I’m pretty sure the fact that you just said ‘next time’ means it worked.”

Anna grinned and let him pull her closer again. Magic had nothing to do with it, and yet when he kissed her again, it felt better than anything that could ever come from a spell.

#kristanna smut weekend 2019 #lemon #witch! anna #modern witch au #smut #no proofreading we die like men

[ashchambers]

TOP 15 FALL OUT BOY SONGS as of 2 February 2019

15. Save Rock And Roll - Save Rock And Roll (2013)

“So fuck you,  you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be”

My favorite track from this comeback album. How could it not be, it’s got Elton John on it.

14. Bishop’s Knife Trick - MANIA (2018)

“The glow of the cities below lead us back, to the places that we never should have left”

Probably my favorite track from Fall Out Boy’s most recent album. I just feel like this song has the most emotion I’ve seen in a FOB song recently.

13. Saturday - Take This To Your Grave (2003)

“I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived more than an hour”

A concert staple, I have seen this song live five times and every time it brings a new appreciation to this song for me.

12. Sugar, We’re Goin Down - From Under The Cork Tree (2005)

“I’m just a notch in your bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song”

I have a portion of this song tattooed on me, so that’s all I have to say about that.

11. Chicago Is So Two Years Ago - Take This To Your Grave (2003)

“Loaded words and loaded friends are loaded guns to our heads”

This song is a really good representation of early Fall Out Boy to me, I got to see this performed live at their big Chicago show in September and it was very emotional.

10. Thriller - Infinity On High (2007)

“Crowds are won and lost and won again, but our hearts beat for the die hards”

I have a special place in my heart with this song, not only do I love it, but it is also my best friend’s favorite songs and we always sing it together.

9. XO - From Under The Cork Tree (2005)

“To the love, “I left my conscience pressed between the pages of the Bible in the drawer, ‘What did it ever do for me,’ I say. It never calls me when I’m down, love never wanted me, but I took it anyway”

The next two go together so well, what a great way to end an album (one of my favorite albums of all time).

8. Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows) - From Under The Cork Tree (2005)

“If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons”

There are a lot of memories associated with this album, it was a consistent album in my life growing up and there is just something about this song that I really relate to.

7. Golden - Infinity On High (2007)

“And I knew the lights of the city were too heavy for me”

For sure my favorite ballad by Fall Out Boy, Patrick’s vocals are just so pure on this track.

6. (Coffee’s For Closers) -  Folie à deux (2008)

“We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, we will never believe again, preach electric to a microphone stand”

Gotta love the movie quote song titles.

5. The (Shipped) Gold Standard - Folie à deux (2008)

“I wanna scream ‘I love you’ from the top of my lungs, but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me”

There is just something about this song that pulls at my heart strings and puts me in a mood that only Fall Out Boy can do.

4. The Carpal Tunnel Of Love - Infinity On High (2007)

“Take teardrops of mine, find yourself wetter”

This song has been on of my favorites by Fall Out Boy since I started listening to them. Named my blog with lyrics from this song.

3. A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me - From Under The Cork Tree (2005)

“I don’t blame you, for being you, but you can’t blame me for hating it”

TOP THREE BABY! These were hard for me, because Fall Out Boy has been a part of my life for such a long time, it is hard for me to pick my favorite songs, that is one reason why I have a hard time explaining why I love these songs so much. I can not thank Fall Out Boy enough for this music video though, I remember like it was yesterday, the video premiere on “Fuse” my mom had to record it on VHS for me, while I was at school. I have probably seen this video more times than I can count.

2. The Pros And Cons Of Breathing - Take This To Your Grave (2003)

“And if I could move, I’m sure it would only be to crawl back to you, I must have dragged my guts a block, they were gone by the time we (talked)”

Again, another song that is hard for me to explain why I love so much. I grew up listening to this album, it helped more during my formative years and no matter how many times I’ve heard this song, I just can’t help but love it a little bit more every time I hear it.

1. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes - Folie à deux (2008)

“Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy”

Number one! This choice has changed a lot over the years and probably will continue to do so. Right now in my life, Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes felt like a right number one for me. When this album first came out, I had been listening to Fall Out Boy for like three or four years and I took this album for granted. As I have gotten older, this has turned into one of  my favorite albums of all time, it stands the test of time and I love it.

#fall out boy #music review #music #music blog #review #top 15 #Top Ten #patrick stump #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #from under the cork tree #folie a deux #take this to your grave #american beauty american psycho #mania #save rock and roll #infinity on high #opinion #alternative music #pop music #rock music

[aisakalegacy]

Generation 2 - Chapter 1: A Big Announcement

The next day, when all the guest started to arrive, Ami felt the urge to isolate herself in the garden. The incoming announcement was stressing her out, and she felt more relaxed near Bella.

Bella stood her only witness as she aged into a young adult. 

Unsurprisingly, she developed the unflirty trait. Combined with her loner and shy trait, she was more anti-social than ever! She came home and grabbed the gown her mother had bought her for the occasion. Growing up had changed her state of mind: she was not a scared girl anymore, she was a woman who was ready to face her destiny. 

When Taiga saw that Ami was finally here, she knew it was the moment to announce who was the heiress. She wanted to tell first the person concerned, so she went to Adora. She looked tired - she was not used to stay up that late.

“Adora, come here. I want to tell you first before I make a public announcement.”

Adora felt her heart beating violently. She wanted this so much, she was so scared of being disappointed. She didn’t know what to expect at all.

“I know you’re stil very young, but the past few months has proven how mature you could be. You’re a kind girl, you know how to make people like you, and I know you’ll be a good mother one day. You’ll know how to make this land a family prosper. Adora, I want you to be my heiress.”

Adora was so happy she immediately hugged Taiga.

“Thank you, mother. I won’t disappoint you, and I swear I’ll try to make you proud.”

“Attention everyone! said Taiga louder. I’m glad you’re all here tonight. As you all know here, I intend to found my own legacy, and I want one of my daughters to take over what I’ve already built. I’ve nominated my youngest daughter, Adora, to be my heiress. Please, be a good head of the family.”

Everyone clapped except from Ami. She stood up with her fists clenched.

“How could you put me through such a humiliation, mother! I’m you’re eldest daughter! I love Adora, but I should be the heiress, not her!

- See, Ami, that’s the matter with you. You’re too hot-headed - and I know what it’s like, I was just like that when I was your age! You’re a free girl, you like being alone, and it’s fine! Being the heiress would only force you to take a husband when you like being so lonely and free, and I only want your best interest. Tied up to this land, you would not be happy.”

Ami stood silent. She knew her mother was right, and that her reaction only proved Taiga had made the best choice. She calmed downed, and said:

“I’m sorry.”

After everyone went home, Ami went to talk to Adora.

“So I guess you’re the head of the family now, huh.”

“I’m proud of you, little sister. I know you’ll do great. Please just don’t be too bossy!

- You’re not angry?

- I’m not anymore. I know you’ll do great.

- Don’t be so hasty to bury me, girls, I’m still there”, said Taiga.

Adora opened her arms.

“You know Ami, even though I’m the head of the family, you’ll always be my big sister.”

“I know that, said Ami while she hugged her back. I know that. You know what? Now that I’m not forced to find a husband anymore, I’m actually released. I can do whatever I want.”

Suddenly they heard neighing on the outside. It was Bella.  Ami rushed outside to see what was happening. What she saw chilled her blood. Death was hugging Bella.

Bella was a old mare, and she had been old for quite a long time now. But Ami didn’t think she would die so soon...

Before she could do anything, Death climbed on Bella’s back, made her rear, and galloped to the afterlife.

Ami was heartbroken. She hurried Bella near her father’s grave (after all, she was his horse), and she cried and cried.

Pal, who had been sulking for years, decided that now was a good time to make a comeback.

“Ha! That’s what you get for not spending time with me.

- You... I thought you had disappeared! Is that all you have to say to me? I’m grieving over my best friend, because yes, she was my best friend, not you, and you think being a jerk will make me want to hang out with you? Just go, Pal! You’re a horrible, mean person and I don’t want to see you ever again!”

When an imaginary friend is told to disappear, it has no choice but to obey.  So Pal turned back to his puppet form, and was never seen as a human again.

#the sims 3 #the sims 3 legacy #the sims 3 simblr #the sims 3 story #the sims 3 legacy challenge #sims 3 #sims 3 legacy #sims 3 story #sims 3 screenshots #ts3 simblr #ts3 #ts3 legacy #ts3 story #legacy challenge #Aisaka Legacy #Adora #1841

[el-dritchknight]

Mistlefoe (Avery/Reese Hustle Cat Christmas Fic)

Title: Mistlefoe

Fandom: Hustle Cat

Ship: Avery/Reese (Avereese)

Summary:  "Fun Christmas idea: Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing, you have to fight whoever else is under it."

Reese and Avery get a little creative when it comes to their courtship.

Notes: Dedicated to my friend, Piyo, who gave me this idea last year HAHA Please feel free to leave comments, especially constructive criticism! It's my first time writing for these characters, so I hope I did them justice :DHappy Holigays to my fellow Hustle Cat fans :3c

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

Probably because Reese and his friends are at A Cat’s Paw, which was, you know, a renown cat cafe and probably the exact opposite of a mouse-friendly house.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all employees are called to decorate the cafe because, contrary to Avery’s expectations, some witches celebrate Christmas. Others celebrate Hanukkah while others have Kwanza—and well, you get the picture. Graves is assigned to cat-watching duty while everyone else decorates because they refuse to have yet another year of festive goth decorations.

Reese and Avery are in charge of the interior design. More accurately, Reese is putting up some candles while Avery is looking up memes on their phone in a self-proclaimed break.

“Hey, Reese, check this out.”

Avery’s phone is unceremoniously shoved in his face. Used to his datemate’s compulsive sharing of memes, Reese takes a moment to read what’s on the screen.

He snorts. “What, so are you saying you want me to deck your halls?”

Dude, what the fuck, Reese’s internal narration chides him. What the fuck does that even mean.

Thankfully, Avery is just as, if not more so, a disaster as Reese is. “Well, maybe I’m going to deck your halls! Ever think about that?”

Dear god, they are such gay disasters. The rational side of Reese’s brain bids him adieu as he decides to indulge in Avery’s shenanigans.

“You wanna fight?” Reese asks, unable to keep the grin off his face.

“Why not? You know I can kick your butt any day.” Avery’s answering smile turns lopsided as unmistakable challenge slips into their tone.

Ever since their respective magical duels with Asmodeus and Nacht, Reese and Avery had taken to training and sparring together, just in case they would be challenged again. Also, it’s pretty fun to test out their abilities this way.

As to who keeps winning… it’s always a fair fight. Truth be told, the pair of them are neck-and-neck when it comes to sparring. Reese may have extensive knowledge of magic, but Avery’s resourcefulness and quick-thinking keeps him on his feet.

“As much as I’d love to prove you wrong as always, Grey, there’s no mistlet—” Avery’s wagging eyebrows make him stop. Stare. Look up at the ceiling where they’re pointing and, oh god, there it is: a cheekily gleaming mistletoe made entirely of aluminum. Reese is willing to bet that this creation is from the soda cans he saw Avery drinking earlier.

This means that they’ve probably been planning this the whole day.

The thought sends a rush of embarrassed heat—as well as intense fondness—through Reese. “Really, Avery? Really?”

Avery smirks at them, despite the red dusting their own cheeks. “Well, I wasn’t going to let my cute boyfriend go unkissed on Christmas Eve now, could I?”

Reese is pretty sure his face is doing a great impression of Rudolph the Reindeer’s infamous red nose. “I uh. Thought you wanted to fight?”

“That too!” Avery’s enthusiasm is adorable—and contagious.

Reese laughs and shakes his head as he prepares to use his magic. “Alright, you asked for it, Grey!”

Before Avery can respond, Reese slips through a portal—and emerges right behind Avery. He reaches towards them, but something catches his foot. Reese quickly glances down to see crumpled wads of newspaper wrapped around his ankle. He swears, preparing his body to hit the ground—

A pair of arms wrap around his waist, halting his fall. Reese opens his eyes to stare into Avery’s eyes, glittering with mischief.

“Take that!” With a cheeky grin, Avery kisses him. The contact is quick, but the feel of Avery’s soft lips never fails to send him reeling.

“Um.” Reese’s comeback is the epitome of eloquence.

Avery, the asshole they are, has more plans for him, however. Without warning, they release their hold on Reese and let him face-plant gracelessly into the soft cat toys below.

Reese lifts his head to glare up at Avery, who is clutching their stomach in laughter. “You should’ve seen your face, dude!”

He huffs but sees a silver lining in the form of a string of fairy lights near Avery’s foot. Smirking, Reese creates a small portal near Avery’s foot and ties the lights around their shoe. He tugs on the string—and rolls over to his side when Avery comes crashing down next to him.

Avery’s pout is adorable. “Hey, that wasn’t fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war, dude,” Reese manages after snickering. “Besides, you started it. I was just returning the favor.”

“Returning the favor, huh?” Avery suddenly has a devilish glint in their pretty, pink eyes. “I’ll show you returning the favor!”

“Grey, what are y—ahAHAHA AVERY NO—” Reese’s words are lost in the flurry of Avery’s tickling. Reese starts fighting back. He finds his power very useful in reaching parts of Avery he usually couldn’t. Avery’s giggles are adorably distracting, however, and it doesn’t help that they’re getting tangled up in the fairy lights in all their toustling around. Still, Reese never backs down from a challenge.

“Ahem.”

Graves stands, looking at the pair of them on the floor: awkwardly wrapped up in a string of fairy lights, limbs all akimbo, surrounded by scattered cat toys—the very picture of hard-working employees. Not.

“Hi, Graves.” Avery has the decency to sound bashful.

Reese’s face burns hotter than the fairy lights. “Graves, wait, I can explain—”

“No need, dear Reese. I know a witch’s duel when I see one.” The smirk on Graves’ face says otherwise, but Reese is too embarrassed to care at this point.

“Right, um. So can you help us out of here?” Avery gives their boss their best puppy dog (kitty cat?) eyes.

“Oh, no, It would be sacrilegious to interfere, my dear! Have a Merry Christmas, you two!” With an airy wave, Graves saunters out of the cafe, leaving two dumbstruck teenagers in his wake.

“...Well, now what?”

“I guess we could wait for Landry or Hayes to get us out of here—”

“OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE! THIS IS SO GOING ON THE BLOG!”

“—Or we could just die of pure, unadulterated embarrassment.”

“That works for me.” Reese sighs at the telltale flashes of Finley’s camera, which signal the end of his reputation as the world knew it. “Merry Christmas, Avery.”

“Merry Christmas, Reese. Sorry I got us into this.” They should genuinely sheepish this time.

Reese shrugs as much as he can, anyway. “Eh, you wouldn't be you if you didn't get into trouble at least once a day… B-but you better make it up to me when we get out of this!”

“I’m going to kiss you lots of times, if that’s what you’re asking.” Reese can practically hear Avery’s cute little v-shaped smile.

“Th-that would suffice.”

Although this isn’t how he had pictured celebrating Christmas Eve, Reese has a very merry Christmas, indeed.

#avery grey #hustle cat reese #hustle cat avery #avery x reese #avereese #is what i dub them lmao #hustle cat #el writes

[j0ebay]

Spiraling Ch 7

Warning(s): IW Spoilers, swearing, holy angst

Word Count: 2133

A/N: Get buckled, folks, cause y’all are in for a wild ride. I’m really stoked this chapter is finally out so enjoy and feedback is deeply appreciated!! 💙💙

series masterlist

add yourself to my taglist!!

chapter 6      chapter 8

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams” -Dr. Seuss

Two months since the date, nothing bad has happened to Peter and Geneva aside from the occasional street fight (“You need to be more careful, Pete” “But I’m Spider-Man!”) and taunts from Flash, which always had a better comeback from Gee.

The two got the approval from the Avengers, Tony giving the usual amount of threat and Nat telling him to back off. Sometimes they would give smirks and glances, only making the two laugh. Loki would constantly make jokes about how it was “about damn time” they got together.

Ned and May were overly supportive, already loving Geneva and feeling excited for Peter upon finding out he actually got the balls to ask her out, plus May’s OTP finally got together.

It was Thursday night or to Loki, early Friday morning, a little past midnight. Both Loki and Geneva were on the couch, watching The Office and eating snacks. Geneva’s phone buzzes.

Peter Parker🕷 Just got home, no bumps, no bruises, didn’t get caught. I helped another old woman!!! No churro this time though. Hope your night was good. I’m gonna get some sleep and you should too!! Goodnight beautiful ❤

She smiles at the general Peter Parker-ness of the message and quickly types one back

Geneva Stark✨ Get some food first! I don’t need my knight in shining armor starving to death 😅 Goodnight, sweet dreams, all that lovely stuff I’m probably forgetting ❤❤ Call me if you need anything!

Geneva subconsciously smiles at the nickname he always gave her despite her many, many protests

“Peter got home alright?”

Geneva snaps out of her thoughts to see Loki giving her the eyes he always gave her when he thought she was going heart eyes.

“Yeah. He didn’t get beat up, which is always a plus”

“I suppose in general it’s better if people don’t get beat up”

She lets out a giggle

“Yeah but I dunno I’ve been adoring these past couple months.”

His eyebrows raise.

“You sound like you want to go on with that claim”

Geneva laughs again.

“Probably because I do. I really really want to elaborate on this.”

Loki nods for her to go on.

“I mean, I’ve never actually had a legitimate boyfriend before, like at all. The closest I’ve ever gotten to where I am right now is those times I’ve had to make out with people to get information from them. I dunno I guess people find me attractive. Who knew, right? But that’s the thing, Peter knew. Peter currently knows and doesn’t hesitate to tell me. He just makes me so happy, Loki. Someone who I can constantly flirt with and not want something out of it. Plus, I can be my nerdy, giggily, silly self around him. But he scares the shit out of me sometimes. I mean, he’s so soft and innocent and I get he’s trying to save people and I support that 100 percent but it just breaks my heart to see that little bean even remotely hurting y’know?”

He nods, adding

“I can’t say I understand the feeling firsthand but I’ve seen people fall for others the way you do. Seriously, Geneva you have the biggest heart eyes just by talking about him. If there isn’t something there then the world is just mad”

She smiles

“You really think so?”

Loki nods.

There’s a silence for a bit before the TV blurts out

“DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT” and the two of them laugh like always.

After a while, she feels the need to walk around

“I’m gonna get some more tea. You need anything else while I’m up?”

Loki shakes his head and directs his attention towards the TV screen. Geneva sits up and walks towards the kitchen. On the way there she could’ve sworn she heard Tony mumble

“Please, no”

And instantly feels the his mind in a whirlwind.

‘He’s having a nightmare. I need to go wake him up’ She thinks to herself.

So there she was, quietly entering his room to see her uncle sprawled out on his bed, muscles occasionally contracting. She still feels the tornado of his thoughts and tries to wake him up normally. Leaning over his unconscious body, she whispers

“Tony. Tony wake up.”

Geneva continues to shake him, not so secretly hoping just her actions alone would remove him from whatever state he was in.

“Tony” She tries again.

She suddenly remembers a mistake from her childhood that might be useful in the situation. She carefully puts her hands on either sides of Tony’s head. Hesitantly, despite many internal protests, she shuts her eyes, allowing her to begin the process.

“Mr. Stark?” Is all she hears before she gets pulled in.

“I don’t feel so good” She can’t move. She can’t run to him. Everything is seen from Tony’s perspective. She doesn’t know where she is. The color orange is everywhere. She can’t turn her head or even divert her eyes away from her scared boyfriend.

“You’re okay”

The words slip out of Tony’s mouth and Geneva can start to feel the tears well up in her eyes

“I don’t know- I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t-”

He collapses, putting all of his weight on Tony, while Geneva watches through his eyes.

“I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go. Sir, please”.

Although she can’t feel it, as she’s fully immersed in the dream world, tears start flooding down Geneva’s cheeks.

“Please, I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go.”

Peter falls to the ground, taking Tony with him. She wants to get out but it’s too late now. She can’t pull herself away no matter how hard she tries. Screams of anger and hurt gather in her chest just desperate to be let out but they’re still enclosed, for she is seeing the past in someone else’s eyes and Geneva can’t do anything to change that.

Tony’s field of view is becoming blurred with tears forming in his eyes

“I’m sorry”

Those whispered words are what snap Tony back into consciousness. He bolts up in a cold sweat and sees his niece, his only blood left, hunched over by the side of his bed, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably. She straightens her back slowly, her hands coming to her mouth to muffle the sobs escaping.

“Gee”

Tony inches towards her, trying and failing to recall what he just saw in his flashback. His eyes widen in realization.

“There was this thing I did when I was five…”

“Geneva,”

The room is spinning all around her. Everything has an echo, even her breathing. Her legs become cotton candy as she suddenly comes in contact with the cold, hardwood floor.

“GENEVA WHAT DID YOU DO?”

That’s all she hears before getting consumed by the darkness.

Peter awakens with a jolt, sensing something being wrong. He jumps out of bed, looking at the fluorescent red lights of his alarm clock flashing 3:30 AM and quickly stumbles out of his door. He runs around the apartment as quietly as he can. Kitchen, clear, living room, clear, front door, clear, May’s room, clear, with May sound asleep inside. Quickly, he takes out his phone with hands shaking uncontrollably, the rectangular device emits a loud smack on the hardwood. He picks it up and lets out a relieved sigh once he sees no damage to the phone and types in Geneva’s number.

ring

“C’mon, Gee. Pick up the phone.” He mumbles to himself

ring

“You never sleep. Just pick up the phone”

click

“Kid, why are you calling my niece in the middle of the night?”

Peter’s eyes widen

“Mr.Stark I’m sorry I probably woke you up. It’s just,”

He lets out an exasperated sigh while running his hand through his hair and continues.

“My spidey senses kinda went off a little bit ago and I checked around the apartment and nobody’s here, May is fine which only leaves Geneva. Is everything okay?”

There’s a pause. Peter could’ve sworn he heard sniffles in the background.

The crackly voice on the other line says “Don’t worry about anyone else being in trouble”

Panic starts to rise in Peter’s stomach as his voice cracks

“What do you mean?”

“Peter, don’t miss school in the morning. She’ll be fine. It’s only a waiting game and there’s nothing you can do by being here.”

At this point, Peter feels the warm tears drench his cheeks

“I don’t understand. Mr.Stark what’s going on?”

There’s another sigh from the other line

“Try to get some sleep. Try to focus in school. Come by after, even if you really want. She’ll probably be okay with you staying the weekend if you feel like you need to. I’ll text you with updates and keep in mind that you made her so happy. She adored being around you and even bringing you up in a random conversation would put a smile on her face. You did good, kid“

“Wait Mr.Stark-”

There’s a click and then a dial tone. Peter throws his phone on the ground and sobs into a nearby pillow.

‘What if she’s dead?’ He thinks to himself.

‘What if she had some sort of brain illness and it killed her? You should’ve been there to save her, Spiderman. Her knight in shining armour. You failed her’

“Shut up”

He whispers to himself to keep the voices away.

“She’s not dead. She can’t die”

“You made her so happy” kept running through his mind as he cried harder wondering what happened but more importantly, why was Tony talking about her in the past tense?

His mind gets the best of him as it instantly starts thinking about him discovering her death.

Peter runs from school, to Stark tower, nervously toying with whatever is in his hands and eventually he barges into her room to see Tony leaning over her bed.

“Mr.Stark?”

He can’t say anything, he just clamps a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“N-no she can’t-”

He cuts himself off seeing her lifeless body. Her pale lips, closed eyes, puffy and red from crying out of fear, with her hair draped over her face. Tears stream down his face. He doesn’t care, his girlfriend laid, dead in front of him.

“Gee”

He says, his voice cracking.

“No”

He would bring flowers to her grave every weekend, tell her about his week at school, how nobody except for Ned dared to talk to him, how everything seemed a lot gloomier since her death. He would always add something along the lines of

“But you already know this, you’ve probably been watching me from up there right?” and laugh to himself.

Peter sobs harder into his pillow. He can’t lose her. Not after all the good that’s been happening to the both of them. He shakily picks up his phone again and pulls up Tony Stark in contacts, clicking call

ring

ring

“What’s goin’ on kid?”

Peter can’t persuade the words to come out of his mouth. Just sobs leave his lips. Tony, on the other line feels his heart break in two. He could feel how much hurt and fear Peter is experiencing and tries his best to calm him down.

“Hey, Pete. She’s gonna be okay. She’s a tough kid and she pulled this stunt once before alright?”

Peter continues to cry.

“Is she dead?”

Tony lets out a heavy sigh.

“No. She’s not dead, Pete. She just did something she thought was a good idea and just passed out, that’s all.”

Tony puts a finger under her nose to ensure that she is, in fact, breathing.

“See, kid? No you can’t forget I said that. I’m sitting right next to her and she’s breathing. I have my finger under her nose and everything.”

Peter lets out a sigh of relief, his shoulders relaxing themselves.

“I’m sorry, Mr.Stark. It’s just sometimes my brain likes to wander and assume the worst and I couldn’t-”

“Hey, Peter, I get it alright? Try to get some sleep and swing by after school. Maybe don’t tell anyone what happened cause you and I both know she doesn’t really like people knowing about her, um, abilities”

“Yes sir. Thank you so much Mr.Stark.”

“Of course, kid. I’ll text you updates still but your number one focus right now is sleep so go to bed.”

And with that, there was yet another dial tone. Peter collapses back onto his bed, turning on his side and scrolling through all the cute and funny pictures they took together.

“Get better beautiful. Please, for all of us. We all adore you and we need a world with you in it. We need you, Gee. I need you.”

He mumbles to her picture, tracing his finger along her pixelated jawline, before letting sleep consume him.

#spiraling #spiraling fic #peter parker x oc #peter parker #peter parker x stark!oc #loki laufeyson #platonic!loki x stark!oc #platonic!loki #original character fic #oc #chapter 7 #angst #oc fic

[hskswife]

he love me not 2 || p. jm

Summary: Some things you can’t take back.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst

Words: 1334

A/N: Part 2 was requested so I hope you all enjoy this part 2. I have been stuck on writing stories. Everything just seems so..eh so I am sorry if my quality content is dropping lmao.

part 1 || part 2

Jimin woke up to the smell of coffee pulling the blanket over his head as he felt a little cold. "Chim babe wake up I made you some pancakes." Upon hearing your voice Jimin sits up removing the blanket with one swift movement only to be greeted by the darkness with a little light peeking through the curtains. Shaking his head he walks to the kitchen saying goodmorning to the boys who had already been up hours before to each their own activities. Namjoon with his book thinking up a storm. Yoongi listening to music possibly writing a new song. Jin cooking up breakfast for the younger members, who seemed to have gotten up to just play some Overwatch together as Hoseok loudly cheered Taehyung on. Just a usual morning in the Bangtan dorms.

"Why're you sleeping here? Did you guys fight again?" Jimin nodded as he grabbed a mug pouring some coffee into it praying that somehow this will wake up his senses. "What was it about this time?"

"She was nagging me about leaving the toilet seat up and I tried to joke with her but she blew off on my face saying I always play everything off as a joke." He looked up from his cup to see Namjoon chuckling while shaking his head, "You guys are usually so loving. But you guys ways fight around this time of year. I hope it's not because of—"

"It's not. It's just she has a comeback and we have all these interviews coming up. We're stressed." Jimin said before sipping his coffee again. "I guess you the two of you are always this stressed around this time of year. But maybe not for the reasons you think." Namjoon replied as he continued to look down on his book not even glancing a look at Jimin, who unsurprisingly stayed silent after his remark. Now the only thing anyone can hear was the tv and Yoongi's argument with Jin about the riddle brought to light by the MC of the variety show they were watching. Letting out a light chuckle as Jin did that thing where he spoke a sentence in one breathe turning a bit red as he looked down at his coffee.

"Hey! Jin calm down a little. It's not that deep." Jimin snapped his head up thinking he had heard your voice again but it was the usual. Shaking his head Jimin excused himself as he got ready thinking he needed to get some air. Lately, everything seemed so wrong. Like something was missing. But it always had around this time of year. Leaving him feeling whole only whenever he was mistakenly hearing your voice. So silently he admitted. Namjoon was right maybe it was because today was special.

"I'm going to the cafe down the street did you guys want anything?"

"Cake!" Jungkook yelled as Taehyung tackled him face first on the couch, Jin scolding them not to get hurt, "Me too!!!" Taehyung said as he sat on Jungkook, who didn't struggle to push him off turning the situation around with him now on top of the older member.

"Okay cake for the maknaes. Did anyone else want anything?" The rest of the boys shook their head as Namjoon started to help Jin removing Jungkook off Taehyung, who was smacking Jungkook in the ass hoping to free himself somehow. Before he left he glanced at the comedic view of the boys where Jungkook kept his stand laughing as now both Jin and Namjoon struggled to move him.

"Jungkook! Get off of him!" Jimin ignored your voice knowing very well when he turned his head you weren't there. Just another part of his imagination. His consciousness asking for some familiarity with your memory. But he knew it was too late for him. You were nothing but a memory. A memory he wanted to protect each passing day. He looked down at his phone looking at the date. Letting out a lighthearted chuckle as he put the phone back into his pocket walking into the cafe immediately being greeted by the owner of the cafe, "Oh I was wondering when I would be seeing you today. Right on time as usual." The owner smiled as he handed Jimin a small box. With an adoring smile he looked at the box, "Thanks she'll love it. But I'll be back later for another cake." Jimin said as he handed his card to the owner to pay for the cake to his surprise he rejected it, "It's okay. It's on the house this time. Tell her I said hi."

Nodding Jimin bowed saying thank you as he carried the small box in his hands calling for a cab. "Woah the flowers look so great this year!" Jimin looked up at the flowers upon hearing your voice once again, "Yeah, they do look great this year. But last years was still prettier. Wish you could've seen it." He whispered to himself as he continued to walk down the flowery path. The smell of cherry blossoms filling his nose as he looked up at the blue sky. Shifting his head every now and then to say hi to the fans who managed to identify him under the layers of a mask, hat, shades, and a padded jacket.

After what seemed like seconds he finally arrived at his destination. Looking down at the grave that reads:

Kim Y/N

"Hey Y/N it's me Jimin...again." He said smiling as he cleaned your tombstone before placing the cake in front of it as he sat down looking up at the sky, "We fought again today. Sometimes I think Namjoon is right...I just want to turn back time...I won't tell you that I regret being with her. Because I don't but I regret not stopping you from walking home at least, even if you refused I should've asked Jin to drive you that night."

Jimin whispered as he suddenly remembered the night the hospital nearby called his phone. He was the last contact you had called with your phone so they called him. Unaware of your identity they hurried in letting Jimin know of the situation. It was a hit and run the police told him when he arrived at the hospital. You were in a coma maybe for a week or so. They never did catch the killer. Even to this day, that killer walks around freely as you laid in your casket. Forever lost to the world as Jimin and your family back in Busan was forlorn in the loss of a life they had cherished so much. There were no witnesses around so it was impossible to find the killer. The possibility of the person calling the ambulance being the killer was high but he was untraceable. Almost as if he hadn't been there that night. As if though you had run yourself over with the car.

Jimin softly cried at your grave. Just as he did when you were in the hospital begging for you to open your eyes. Bargaining with a greater being to bring you back to life in exchange for his own happiness. But that was it. God took you away. Along with his happiness. Jimin felt he didn't deserve to be happy. Not when he brought so much unhappiness to the one thing that gave him the strength before he was BTS's Jimin. Even in your last moments, he couldn't relieve any pain by catching the killer. Jimin knew. Jimin knew apologizing now, after everything he had said that day was useless. But no matter how many years pass, just as he has been doing the past five years, he will apologize. He will continue visiting your grave. Asking for your apology. He will continue to be haunted by your memories. Even if everyone else had forgotten your smile. Your voice. Park Jimin will continue to remember. Like a tattoo, the memories of you will always be embedded in his soul. In his whole being.

#bts fanfics #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts fake texts #bts fake snaps #bts fake chat #bts angst #bts fluff #rapmon #suga #jin #jhope #v #namjoon #seokjin #yoongi #hoseok #jimin #taehyung #jungkook #bts #bangtan boys #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #beyond the scene #kpop fanfics #kpop angst #kpop smut #kpop fluff

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Monday Night Raw review- January 8th, 2017

Hey everyone! Happy Monday! I hope y’all are doing well, and that your 2018′s are getting off to a great start so far! I’ve been looking forward to Raw all day, let’s hope it’s a good show!

Please let me know what you thought of the show, as well as what you thought of this review! Any type of feedback and criticism is welcomed! Thanks so much for checking this out!

Opening segment- Roman Reigns

Last week we saw Roman and Joe for the IC title, and tonight we see him holding the title high. For those of you who didn’t see the match, I’d highly recommend checking it out because it was a phenomenal match that was put on by two really great performers.The crowd reaction seems mixed on Roman tonight, but overall he’s been getting more cheers than jeers lately. 

Jason Jordan is now on his way to the ring, and I just don’t have anything positive to say about him. In the words of my father, “I just want him to get hurt, or something..” No one understands this kid, or why he’s getting this push that he is. His in-ring ability is pretty alright, but he just isn’t anything special to anyone.

Seth Rollins is now on his way down, and we have all 3 members of the “New Shield�� joining us in the ring. Seth is definitely playing mentor/mentee with Jordan, and I wish I could pick Seth’s brain about how he feels about it. 

OH BOY HOWDY IT’S FINN AND THE CLUB OH GOD I AM DEAD

God, I hope this elevates Finn’s status on Raw. He deserves a better chance, but it’s great to see Finn with Gallows and Anderson. Aaaaaand it’s great to see Finn so happy and smiling with some gggoooodddd boooyyyssss! 

It was announced that the main event is going to be a 6-Man Tag match with the Balor Club against Roman, Seth, and Jordan! Get hyped!

Sasha Banks and Bayley vs. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville

I have to say I’m a little exhausted with seeing this matchup. Let absolution wrestle other women, because that’s what I want to see. 

The match started off with the pairing of Mandy and Bayley, and I loved seeing the display of power from Mandy. I don’t think we’ve really seen her ability in the ring, and I’m glad that we’re seeing a showcase of it now. I will say, I am tired of hearing Booker T bring up the fact that Mandy was on Tough Enough a few years back. We get it Booker, you’ve seen Mandy before. 

Coming back from commercial, Mandy has control over Sasha, but not for long as Sasha rallies back. Michael Cole is screaming into the mic and saying IT’S BOSS TIME and god help us. Sonya has now been tagged into the match, and I can’t wait to watch her take out Sasha. I don’t like how Sonya does the “put your hair up” thing because it really stops the flow of the match. Once she puts her hair up, however, she does deliver some really fast strikes. Mandy and Sonya really dominated through most of the match, which is usually the match style for these guys now. With a quick roll up from Sasha that turned into the Bank Statement, this less-than-exciting match is over, and the good guys get the win.

WOKEN!Matt vs. Curt Hawkins

Oh man, I love Woken Matt. It’s so weird and silly and I’m just happy that Matt has found something to do with Jeff not being here. Everyone knows that Jeff is the money maker for the Hardys, but with Woken Matt, things are great for Matt. I can’t wait for Jeff to come back to see what the brothers do next. 

In the past weeks, we’ve seen Bray Wyatt and Matt go back and forth with promos, but this is the first time we’ve seen Matt wrestle like this. His style isn’t too different, but he does seem to be slowly “transforming” into something else.

There wasn’t much to say on this match, but it does suck for Curt that he’s basically a jobber. I miss him as an Edgehead, but that was a long time ago. Bray came out after Matt won the match, and it turned into a crazy contest with these two just laughing in the middle of the ring. I guess we’ll see if anything happens with these two in the upcoming weeks, and hopefully it doesn’t diffuse after the rumble.

The Return of The Miz!

He’s back everyone! With a nice introduction and song from Elias, The Miz has welcomed us to MizTV! He changed his hair back to the OG spiked haircut, which I like a lot better. I’m glad that MY INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION has come home. I can’t wait to see what The Miz brings us in 2018.

Miz’s guests for tonight were actually the Miztourage, which is a little bit of a letdown, but it was a good goofy segment because Dallas and Axel were giving Miz stupid gifts. But I think we all wanted to see Roman and Miz have a confrontation. As we all remember, Roman beat Miz for the IC title about 2 months ago, and while Roman is a good champ, The Miz is even better. 

Miz began listing his accomplishments from 2017, and when you think about it, The Miz had a great year, and he really is one of Raw’s top talents. For 2018, he’s got a daughter on the way, a new movie or two, I think he and Maryse just got a new house?? He will most likely hold another title, and he promises to take back his title.

Cedric Alexander vs. Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Championship

I wish that this was a match that took place last week, but Enzo was out sick and could not compete, so we get this match tonight. Earlier in the show, we saw Goldust give Cedric some advice for the match, which is pretty sweet since Goldust is such a legend and to see him support the cruiserweight division is great.

Cedric got the opportunity to face Enzo for the title after a series of Fatal Four Way matches, which he first lost, but after Rich Swann was arrested for domestic violence, the WWE called for a new match which named Cedric as the number one contender. 

Right before the commercial break, Cedric took a nasty fall from the top rope after Enzo used the ref as a distraction. For me, I think Cedric oversells and he’s a little too noisy in the ring. If he takes one forearm hit, he screams his head off, and it’s too much. Enzo was setting the pace for the match so far, but Cedric made contact with a dropkick to Enzo, and Cedric looks to make a comeback. With an amazing handspring kick to Enzo, the pin from Cedric leads to a near fall, and Cedric looks close to winning. After the kick from Cedric, it looks like Enzo has a cut above his eye, and from the words of Michael Cole, “Enzo’s face is a huge mess!” It’s hard to say whether or not Enzo is actually cut, or if he bladed, because once it got wiped off, it was like Enzo never got hurt at all. 

With a suicide dive from Cedric to Enzo, Enzo got counted out, and with the champion's advantage, Enzo is still the champ. This match didn’t offer anything, and it sucks that Enzo is still holding the title.

The Bar vs. Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews

Oh god, what even is this matchup? This is The Bar y’all, they don’t want to face these guys. I always think it’s great when guys who don’t normally get TV time are seen on TV and get a story, but no one wants to see this. The crowd is dead for this match, which is just a little upsetting.

It was announced before this match that The Bar would get their title rematch at the Rumble, so let’s just see this match as a warmup for The Bar. The crowd is now more into this match now that it is at its midway point. Titus got the crowd really hyped, but The Bar took control back, but not for long as Titus got the small package on Sheamus! I’m shocked! This is a huge win!

Brock Lesnar Responds

Last week, we saw Brock and Kane have a confrontation in the middle of the ring. Tonight, Brock is apparently responding to the attack? I am surprised that we are seeing Brock two weeks in a row. He took time out of his busy days to come and bless us two weeks in a row, what a hero. I am, of course, being an asshole and I want Brock to not be champion anymore. I don’t care who it is anymore, I just don’t want Brock as champion anymore.

I am not thrilled by the idea of this triple threat match for the title at all. It just sucks that Big Man vs. Big Man vs. Big Man sells tickets better than it should. 

Kane eventually came out to attack Brock as he and Paul were leaving, and it has moved from the stage to the backstage area, where Braun was waiting to attack as well, and threw Brock and Kane into equipment. He then pulled a grappling hook out of nowhere and threw it to the top of a structure, which then toppled onto both Kane and Brock. We were led to commercial by Paul Heyman screaming his head off and questioning god why he would let this happen. Hilarious.

Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno

I’m sorry, but this match was made just to kill time, and that sucks. I think the stuff with Heath and Rhyno is overplayed at this point, but they’re just hanging onto whatever they can to stay relevant. I also think this is a step backwards for Joe, since he faced Roman last week for the IC title. 

Rhyno landed the first few strikes to start the match off, but Joe is now dominating the match. Joe brought Rhyno down, and Rhyno tried to fight back with some chops to the chest, but it wasn’t enough as Joe immediately reversed and took back control. A coquina clutch brought Rhyno down to his knees, and Joe gets the win by submission. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a good spot for Joe after last week, but after Joe cut a promo, he apparently is in the mind set that he was the winner last week! If this is Joe being positive towards this spot, then I hope he keeps a smile on his face.

Asuka was supposed to have a match, but Nia Jax came out and attacked her from behind. I wish it was an actual match, but I guess we’ll see this happen next week!

6-Man Tag Match- Balor Club! vs. The “Champions Club”

Oh god, I’ve been waiting for this match the entire night! Finn being in the main event two weeks in a row is just amazing and I just love, love, love this so much. He’s finally getting some recognition again, he’s being put in a good storyline, and I’m incredibly happy for him, and Gallows and Anderson as well for that matter. Corey Graves brought up their time in Japan, and they showed us a bunch of pictures of baby Finn and the club. Corey even said Being the Elite! 

It looks like Seth and Finn will start the match, and no one can forget their history, stemming all the way from Summerslam 2016. The two had a really fast-paced combo of moves that took my breath away, and now Karl comes into the match. Some fast tags in the match, and now the Champion Club has control leading into the commercial break. I don’t know what to call that team, so I guess that will stick for now. 

After the break we find Seth and Finn going after each other again. Seth tags in Roman, and Finn looks to be in trouble. Roman went for the superman punch, but with a distraction from Luke, Finn hits a slingblade and tags in Karl. Luke is keeping Reigns down for now with a reverse crossface, but now Reigns is trying to fight back and take Luke down. I do like the fact that Jordan has been kept out of the match entirely so far. 

Reigns ends up captializing on Anderson and hits a tilt a whirl, but Anderson is able to get a tag and Roman is not. After Gallows works on Roman, Roman finds a way to superman punch Gallows to tag in Rollins. It’s now Anderson and Rollins, and Rollins looks amazing. Rollins knew he had to fight back, and he really did. Rollins tried to pick up the win for his team, but couldn’t do it. The match got a little messy as both teams distracted the ref, and he couldn’t see the tag. Jordan completely screwed the match and got in the way, but the better team won and Finn hit the Coup de Grace for the win! Hooray for the Balor Club! My heroes!

I thought this was a pretty decent show. Unfortunately, it had a lot of spots that wasted time and could’ve had been better used. I, of course, loved the main event a lot, and Finn just looked so good and so happy. Big things are happening for RAW! The 25th anniversary is happening soon!

Check in tomorrow for my Smackdown Live review! Thanks so much!

#wwe #wwe monday night raw #monday night raw #roman reigns #finn balor #the miz #balor club #samoa joe #brock lesnar #bayley #sasha banks #paige #asuka #nia jax #wrestling #reviews

[asherlockstudy]

John’s choices (from TEH to TLD)

I do not have a lot of sympathy for John after what he did in TLD and I won’t claim that his confession / speech in the end of the episode is evidently confirming Johnlock because it isn’t evidently doing so, however I can’t interpret it in any other way that could possibly make sense. 

John starts by blaming himself for not being the man he wants to be - the man who would be brave and strong and would always save his loved ones. He’s right to feel guilt. I haven’t seen people discuss the scene in which Culverton Smith says in the news that he won’t press charges against Sherlock and that he may even take him to his “favourite room”. John already knows that this is the mortuary yet he still chooses to trust Culverton more than Sherlock. Sherlock does not know that but it is another good reason for the severe guilt John feels. Sherlock quickly says that John does a disservice to himself - John was the man who killed Hope to rescue Sherlock, he was nearly killed by the Golem, he chose to sacrifice himself so Sherlock could escape from the pool and he decided to die there although, technically, if he didn’t care about Sherlock, he could perhaps survive.

So, in fact, John is not the man he wants to be but he used to be that man when he lived with Sherlock. Sherlock brings the best out of John just as much as John does the same for Sherlock.

Then John goes on and says that he cheated on Mary and that he wanted more although he knew he shouldn’t. And then he says the most enlighting thing in this baffling conversation: 

“I never could be. But that ‘s the point. That’s the whole point.”

The basic qualities that John believes Mary expected him to have according to his speech are two: a) chivalry, altruism and b) loyalty. We just remembered that John had indeed been a brave man, always willing to risk his life to save his loved ones so I think it’s safe to eliminate “brave or altruistic” from the equation of his quote. 

 So the point of what John says is that he was not as loyal as he should and that he could never be. What does he mean? That John realised he was never a man for the steady, monogamous relationship Mary wanted? Maybe. But what he certainly means is that he could never be the man Mary dreamt him to be because he was never in love with Mary, at least not enough to spend his whole life with her and only her. And since he says “I never could be and that’s the whole point”, this probably means he was deep inside always aware that he never truly wanted that marriage. 

John says that this girl just smiled at him and that was all, so he doesn’t really believe the woman in the bus was important to him. He says it clearly; it was just a smile. Yet he wanted more. So, in fact, even a smile could take John away from Mary and John can not forgive himself for this. He wasn’t taken away because he’s still a man of principle but apparently for John it is not enough to be a loyal man just because he knows it’s what he’s supposed to be and not what he truly wants. 

But John had decided to propose to Mary before Sherlock returned, when John was completely alone. So why did John always know that this marriage would be a mistake, if there was nobody else in his life? Probably because his heart belonged to the person whom he never expected to come back. He thought Mary was the best available alternative and he was desperate to somehow move on, so a marriage couldn’t harm either him or Mary, since Sherlock was truly dead and Mary had nothing to fear. 

Except Sherlock proved to be alive. 

Sherlock’s comeback interrupted the proposal and, despite being mad at him, John failed to keep himself away, especially after Sherlock saved his life. John avoided to properly propose to Mary again and Mary implied this with a glare at Sherlock in the end of TEH. 

Mary: Yeah. Well, once we’ve actually got engaged. John: Yeah. M: We were interrupted last time. J: Yeah.

 Check this scene yourself and you’ll see John looks uncomfortable with this subject. He seems to want Mary to stop. And, you know, it’s also never discussed but John tried in the very next scene to make Sherlock open his heart. 

John: I’m still waiting. Sherlock: Hmm? J: Why did they try and kill me? If they knew you were on to them, why go after me – put me in the bonfire?

Someone may think John doesn’t understand why he got attacked but this is not the case in my opinion. John knew why he was kidnapped. He had asked Sherlock before, Sherlock had answered vaguely that he didn’t know, yet John brought up the issue again. Look at his expression: 

His expression is playful and subtly teasing. That’s not a man who fears for his life. He knows or suspects he was kidnapped because he’s the most important person in Sherlock’s life but he needs Sherlock to tell him. Badly. Just one word and John would have ended everything he had with Mary. But Sherlock avoided to provide the correct and very much needed answer:

...and left John disappointed. And angry. And desperate.

Yet John didn’t give up immediately this time. He tried again because he had the pressure of the proposal hanging over his head.

When you were dead, I went to your grave. I made a little speech. I actually spoke to you. I asked you for one more miracle. I asked you to stop being dead.

If this is not the most daring John has ever been, then I don’t know what is. John showed nearly all his cards to Sherlock because he was in despair. John has enormous trouble to talk about his feelings which he suppresses in an unbelievable degree, yet he overcomes himself now because it’s his last chance. 

Sherlock replies with a meaningful “I heard you” but then changes the subject and leaves him behind. John probably concludes that even if he’s important to Sherlock, Sherlock is determined to not indulge in a romantic confession, let alone relationship. He concludes Sherlock still doesn’t want romantic entanglement and decides that he must not disappoint Mary who, after all, is the next best thing that has happened to him. 

As the wedding approaches and John is completely indifferent (check the whole TSOT for real), almost as if he’s not the one who gets married, he tries once more, more boldly than ever before, during the stag night. But he was drunk and when he’s sober again, John goes back to his inhibitions. We should never forget that in addition to all his problems, John still doesn’t feel comfortable with his feelings for Sherlock and what they mean for his sexuality.

During the wedding John was oversensitive to anything that indicated Sherlock cared for him. Sherlock’s announcement that Mary is pregnant visibly panicked him because John realised that changing his mind and getting a divorce would not only affect Mary but would now also affect his own child. At this point he’s clearly in despair and he nearly has a heart attack when he sees the heartbreak in Sherlock’s face. However, he chooses his baby and Mary this time and tries to roll with his choices.

One month later, John hates his life. He hates himself. He tries to cope by inflicting his anger to people who potentially deserve it. He literally provokes Bill to attack him just so that he will have an excuse to beat him. He’s angry at Sherlock because he uses again. John suspects the reason Sherlock is using but can’t bear take the blame for this too, so he blames Sherlock for not caring about his life and his friends. John tries to find all the flaws someone has so that he will be distracted from his own mistakes. By blaming someone for something they truly did, John feels like some of his burden is temporarily relieved. Sherlock understands this and scolds John as much as John scolds everyone else and then John feels even more guilt because he knows Sherlock is right. 

When he found out Mary shot Sherlock, believe me, John was hopeful his problem was solved. It was his chance to escape. But both Mary and Sherlock were targets of his wrath. Why poor incapacitated Sherlock? Because he tried to reconcile them. John didn’t want to be reconciled with Mary. This admittedly terrible turn of events gave him the only opportunity to split up with Mary and reunite with Sherlock without feeling guilt for leaving his wife and perhaps not being there for his child. It was his only chance to forgive himself and escape from his self-loathing. In his effort to make Sherlock understand that and let him end this marriage, he becomes daring again:

But she wasn’t supposed to be like that. Why is she like that?

John tells Sherlock that he didn’t want Mary to be like what according to Sherlock attracts him to people - dangerous, risky, mysterious - like Sherlock. In short, John told Sherlock Mary wasn’t really who he could be in love with, attracted to. He chose her to rest assured he wouldn’t fall in love with her. John chose someone unlike Sherlock because he didn’t want a substitute for Sherlock - he wanted to forget, It was a choice driven by self-protection and reason, not love. It’s unclear how much she understood but Mary lowered her head after what John told Sherlock. I think she understood. 

And I think Sherlock undestood too. He told John he chose Mary, although John had basically just explained that the only reason he chose her was to move on from him. Sherlock keeps trying to make him return to Mary and this time John snaps:

Why is everything ... MY FAULT?!

This makes so much more sense after TLD. John was struggling with his self-loathing since the beginning of HLV but Mary’s attempt to kill Sherlock made him feel better for himself. He felt he ‘d done wrong things but he wasn’t the worst person in the room after all. And if he did bad things, well, at least Mary deserved it. And if he finally ended this marriage like he always wanted, he’d have every right to. But Sherlock didn’t allow him the chance to feel better for himself, forgive himself. While John tries desperately to free himself, he tells Sherlock he doesn’t truly love Mary yet Sherlock, after some thought, basically tries to convince him that he indeed loves her and that she still is the best choice for him. 

I disagree that Sherlock here complains that John chose Mary over him because if that was the case then pretty much the rest of the scene wouldn’t make sense as John and Sherlock would both have the desire to get rid of Mary. I think John’s declaration “She was not supposed to be someone I would love” breaks Sherlock for a moment and he needs some time to find how to respond. He chooses once again not to acknowledge what John means and this time John does not accept it as respectfully as usual. 

Sherlock’s insistence to counter-argue John in what John feels and about whom hurts John more than anything. He feels unwanted, misunderstood, unable to communicate to others who he is and what he feels, alone. He screams into the void. No one listens. He feels for the first time that this deep connection he used to have with Sherlock is probably broken.

Sherlock probably understood John’s way of thinking and that’s why he tried to push John back to Mary. He thought that if John finally found out that Mary genuinely cared about him or there were whatever reasons for her actions, his self-loathing would return and would be even worse than before, especially since the child would grow up without a father figure.  Also, Sherlock was still afraid to allow romantic entaglement in his life, it seems. However, I hope there were more specific reasons Sherlock wanted to reunite them but we will never know because apparently something went terribly wrong after S3.

The important thing here in short is that John tried to express his love again and Sherlock not only (basically) rejected him for the fourth time, he actually refused to acknowledge what John was telling him. That’s the ultimate heartbreak John has suffered. John has been very respectful of Sherlock’s lifestyle and choices regarding romance but this was a critical hit to his patience. As I’ve said, at this point I am positive John knows Sherlock loves him back or at least likes him this way, therefore Sherlock’s behaviour drives him crazy, he doesn’t understand it and it hurts him. At this moment, Sherlock failed John. John starts doubting again what he means to Sherlock.

This can be seen in John’s next words after Sherlock pushes him to Mary: “Okay. Your way. Always your way.” which make Sherlock turn his face away uncomfortably. That “Always your way” is a statement that John still surrenders and complies to Sherlock’s will, he accepts Sherlock’s refusal to see what’s between them and fulfills Sherlock’s wish that John will at least give Mary a chance to defend herself. He hates doing any of this but it’s Sherlock, thus he does it anyway.

John forgave Mary without wanting to because Sherlock didn’t really leave him another choice. He returned to his marriage, being mad at Mary, being mad at himself and also being mad at Sherlock for pushing him even more to his self-loathing. Let us not forget the Christmas scene in HLV - in which John forgives Mary by looking ominous rather than forgiving. I won’t get into detail again regarding this matter - I still believe John chose his words carefully and basically promised Mary that he would become the source of her future problems.

Now, this is not exactly what we saw in Series 4, is it? We all expected John to work undercover in order to find condemning evidence of Mary’s past (or something of the sort) and we got none of it. But if we think about it, the fact that we didn’t get exactly what we expected does not mean that John’s initial threatening demeanour towards Mary exposed a severe inconsistency between HLV and TST.

John was trapped. Sherlock was protecting Mary and would oppose to any further attempt of John’s to rebel against his wife. John not only feels betrayed and angry at Sherlock for this but he also can’t wrap his head around the absurdity of it; the shot victim becoming best friends with the perpetrator. While this is not obvious in the fourth series, I think we can assume it safely by John’s gradual alienation from Sherlock. I personally think that Sherlock’s weird decision to support Mary was even more destructive for his friendship with John than his two year long absence. So, after a lot of thought that led to the HLV fireplace scene, John perhaps decided he could only take revenge on Mary in a way Sherlock couldn’t intervene. As a husband.  If his threat was to be a bad husband to her, perhaps he tried to keep his promise.

I belong to the TJLC community but I always considered Mary a grey character, expecting her to be redeemed in the end, thus I blame John too for a good share of reasons that made this marriage problematic. It was always clear to me that despite her many terrible flaws Mary cared for John much more than John did for her. Just as Mary was manipulative and immature in many cases, John was uncaring and indifferent and basically angry for most of their time together. I can at least thank Moffat for taking the time to show us that John and Mary’s marriage was problematic before the CAM incident. And in my opinion, at that early period, John was mostly the source of the problem but then of course Mary took the lead very easily.

So how did John deal during TST? First of all, despite all his anger, John couldn’t hold it against Sherlock as much. TST makes clear that John was still desperate for some attention from Sherlock. If you watch TST carefully, John looks lowkey ALWAYS angry at Sherlock. Well, he is. John feels suppressed and ignored by the lunatic team of the victim and the killer: Sherlock and Mary. He soon becomes the third wheel, not because Mary and Sherlock genuinely don’t want him around (seriously, they were just teasing him) but because his negativity and sense of being wronged leaves him behind to begrudge and boil with anger which is a very reasonable reaction. If you think John spends too much time with Mary in TST, John will maybe agree with you. It’s not that John wanted this, it’s that Sherlock and Mary both forced her presence much to John’s annoyance.

Before Rosie was born, Sherlock was obsessing over Moriarty and since Mary was obsessing over Sherlock obsessing over Moriarty, John couldn’t find time to spend alone with him. His new status as “reconciled with my heavily pregnant wife” didn’t leave hin many choices. The night Mary gives birth, Sherlock looks more panicked after John found 59 (for real) missed calls. First of all, how do you even miss 59 calls of your wife when she’s through the last month of pregnacy? Then it’s the mystery of the driver: we had seen on setlock that Sherlock was driving while John, the doctor and expectant father, was by Mary’s side. They switched their positions for the scene they kept in. Maybe it was just for laughs, seeing twitter-obsessed Sherlock trying to help Mary through her labour, but it can also indicate that John, who was more like “Oh shit” the whole time since he found the calls, was already in a mild phase of dissociation. He chose to drive and left Sherlock to play the role of the supportive partner.

Surely, Rosie’s arrival softened John. He obviously loves her but this doesn’t bring him any closer to Mary. John spends the next months being exhausted and comparing his baby to Sherlock - until a random girl in the bus happens to smile at him. And apparently that’s all he needs. Getting deeper into John’s mind, it’s important to clarify something: There is a difference between what an angry John plans to do and what John can actually do. This means that John’s desire to hurt Mary and also the lack of romantic love or sexual desire for her urged him to cheat on Mary with “E” but there was so far he could go until the moral rock John Watson stepped in.

This is painful for me but let’s pay some attention:

John has his first moral bells ringing when he sees his photo with Mary and ROSIE. That’s why I said Rosie softened John without changing much though. Rosie didn’t make John forgive and love Mary but made him think twice before acting because any wrong move could hurt his daughter besides Mary. And John doesn’t want that.

But even the Rosie effect faded easily at times. His face here is all “LOL fuck Mary (figuratively)”.

This is very important. Note the expression of euphoric disbelief in John’s face. Don’t forget that John spent the last months being pushed to a marriage, being ignored by Sherlock and feeling the thirld wheel of the gang. Having someone take the initiative to flirt him openly must almost seem like a new experience to him. It’s a boost to his ego. He feels wanted after a LONG time. He feels worthy of somebody’s time. 

John’s psychology is in a terrible state. Right before Eurus flirted with him, Sherlock had invited him for a case by mentioning that he took Mary’s permission for their meeting. John huffs a miserable laugh after he sees Sherlock’s text. Sure, it makes sense to ask the wife when you have a newborn and she’s been exhausted all day or has an important job to do but John should be the one to discuss with Mary instead of watching Sherlock and Mary taking decisions for him without him. At this point, John might as well feel as important as the rug on the floor and I think it’s not a coincidence that he flirted back exactly after this incident. In a way, this was a subconscious cheating on Sherlock too. An attempt to protest.

Despite his misery, low self-esteem and anger, John was still trying to get Sherlock’s attention. If exhausted and miserable John still takes the time to buy a balloon and draw his sad but still caring face on it for Sherlock, well this pretty much says it all. He desperately needed Sherlock and he consciously let it show. 

As I said earlier, there is a difference between what John says he’ll do and what he actually does. When he got E’s number, he probably felt it was time for his promise aside from the needed confidence boost. However, just like when he took the gun to kill a man in TFP but eventually couldn’t bear to do it, he eventually didn’t manage to cheat on Mary sexually (the emotional cheating remains). Let alone that he was feeling guilty towards E too who, he thought, didn’t deserve such a deception. I believe Rosie is definitely a major factor for his decision to end this affair too. 

However, he still was the one who trusted Mary the least, the one who instructed Sherlock to trap her with the USB and watch her. John had zero trust for Mary and was inventing ways that hopefully would prove once again that this marriage should be ended. However, he took Mary back after her apology much more easily that you would except because:

He realised Mary was trying to protect them and not involve them into this situation, even in this crazy way

The ever present Sherlock would disapprove (God knows why)

He was feeling guilty for his cheating. John later showed he couldn’t forgive himself for cheating literally in front of Mary’s face as she was looking after their daughter. Because that’s who John is. It doesn’t matter if Mary’s behaviour was problematic or not, John didn’t feel right doing that.

After this John decided they should start over mostly for the child and because of his guilt. But he never had the chance to confess to Mary what he’d done and sort it out. The next thing - Mary was dying after Sherlock had invited them to the aquarium. 

Many fans noted that John was far too calm until Mary died and that his reaction was very different to Sherlock’s so it was out of character. The reaction is indeed very different and I have made a comparison of John’s reactions in both death scenes in this post. However, I don’t agree it was out of character. Quite the contrary. I don’t want to repeat myself so I will focus on the most important points. 

John didn’t try THAT hard to save Mary although I believe this was partially because he recognised the wound as certainly fatal. Whatever the truth is, he visibly lost his composure only then:

If one thing Mary ever said was true, that’s the one for me. John was the most important person in Mary’s flawed and troubled life. This is when John breaks and I think everyone would, even without loving the dying person. The most notable thing about this scene is that John failed to reciprocate. Even when Mary was dying, he didn’t tell her he loved her or that she was his whole world too. From what we’ve seen all this time in the show, the kindest compliment she ever received from John was that she is the “next best thing” and I know you probably don’t feel sympathy but I’m frankly a bit sad for her. 

I analyze this more in the aforementioned post but the reasons John is so different here is because he’s not shocked like in Sherlock’s suicide - he’s angry. And when I say angry, I don’t mean like when he said he was angry above Sherlock’s grave. I mean he’s reached a whole new level of self - loathing. He knows that it was a mistake to marry her. A mistake to bring Sherlock into her life and vice versa. A mistake to make a child (although of course he loves Rosie now). But what he couldn’t forgive himself for the most was that he couldn’t reciprocate - that he never loved her. That they never stood a chance to live happily since the beginning. John is by nature a giving person of low self esteem - he takes 1 and gives gratefully 100 back. Mary’s love confession perhaps changed vastly his whole perception of her. Let’s remember again:

“I never could be. But that ‘s the point. That’s the whole point.”

That’s the problem.That this time he couldn’t reciprocate. And the origin of the problem is: Sherlock. John blames himself for loving Sherlock and for making so many wrong choices because of his suppressed raging feelings for him. John carries too much inside him at this point so the only thing he can do to protect his fragile state of mind is to instictively project all his hate to Sherlock. I believe Sherlock understood exactly what John was doing and this is why he forgave him immediately. I don’t think Sherlock truly believed he was responsible for Mary’s death. He didn’t show signs of guilt before John blamed him, he was initially shocked when John did yet he eventually took John’s accusations without protest. In order to soothe John’s hurt he even inflames these accusations in the mortuary but when later John finally admits that Sherlock was not to blame, Sherlock didn’t show the slightest sign of disbelief, self-loathing or guilt.

John also says to Eurus (the therapist) early in TLD that he doesn’t really blame Sherlock for what happened. Yet he is mad at him, he acts as if he hates him, he accuses him when Sherlock is present, he ends up hitting him brutally. John loathes what Sherlock means to him - the fact that he is so much in love and had probably brought a lot of trouble and misery to himself and others because of his feelings for such a peculiar person with such a dangerous lifestyle. In short, he hates himself and his feelings. He hates himself for not loving Mary back that his only way to deal with his anger is to inflict Mary to his mind and convince himself that he misses her. As Mary is part of his own mind, he gives her the best of his own attributes in another effort to despise himself even more. Mary takes the part of his positive, reasonable, compassionate side as well as his lust for Sherlock (which made me uncomfortable for her character) while John is left with his misery, bitterness, resentment, bad habits, unfriendliness and cruelty. In short, he imagines Mary better than she was alive and forces this image to his mind. He discards his good side by attributing it to Mary’s memory. That’s how guilty he feels for all the wrong choices he made, for loving Sherlock and never daring to confront it or at least managing to leave it behind.

His good side (aka Mary) often challenges the distorted impression John has created for himself and his feelings for Mary or Sherlock. The most important moment is when she asks John playfully whether he still misses her. Well, if even a walk in a mortuary could make John forget Mary, we can safely assume he didn’t love her very much. John thought he deserved to live the rest of his life with the memory of his late wife engraved in his mind as an apology to her and the “unreasonable standard” he has set for himself. Being loyal to her after death - loving her now more than before. Of course this couldn’t possibly be genuine so it’s in fact a self-inflicted punishment for life. 

It’s John crying, not Mary. Crying after denying there is something he doesn’t tell the therapist. The equivalent of the rain outside the window when John couldn’t speak it out in front of Ella. The misery he brought in his life after making the mistake to fall in love with Sherlock. 

John said he wasn’t blaming Sherlock but he was rather aggressive to the therapist. He dismissed all her efforts to calm him down, to persuade him “it was okay”. And here’s the main problem John has after Mary’s death:

Therapist: That’s understandable.

John: Is it? Why? Why is it understandable? Why does everything have to be understandable? Why can’t some things be unacceptable and we just say that? (Refusing to help himself, self loathing)

T: I only mean it’s okay.

J: I am letting my daughter down, how the hell is that okay?

T: You just lost your wife.

J: And Rosie lost her mother. 

T: You are holding yourself to an unreasonable standard.

J: No, I’m failing to. 

John deflects Eurus’ explanation of how much he grieves Mary’s loss - his real problem is that now his child is motherless. Rosie is going to miss Mary, not him. He blames himself so much, because of his and Sherlock’s dangerous lifestyle, for choosing to marry Mary of all women, for choosing to marry in general and bring a child in the world without working out all his unresolved issues first. He keeps on hating and hating, this takes all his energy and makes him feel he’s failing as a father even further. 

The reason John tries to distance himself from Sherlock is because his obsession with him is in his opinion the root of all evil (not Sherlock himself). John is afraid of acting thoughtlessly again or being hurt again and at this point he really can’t take more of it. When he beats Sherlock in the mortuary, he shouts whether it’s all just a game. John fuels with his hate and guilt his good old frustration of how important he is to Sherlock, of how important it is to Sherlock to save people (or is it just for the kicks). The main reason for John’s behaviour since Sherlock returned to London was that John could never be sure anymore that he actually meant something to Sherlock. He felt manouvered and manipulated and used as a sidekick for as long as Sherlock would please, yet he found himself unable to move on so he kept joining Sherlock in his adventures, hoping that his company meant a little something to Sherlock just as it meant the world to him. His biggest fear is that he wasted the last years of his life making bad choices, frightened and adrift and unaware that Sherlock does not give a damn for what is happening to him. He’s terrified that his child lost his mother as a consequence of years of what he thought was important but perhaps it was just Sherlock’s adrenaline rush in the end. 

Let me clarify three things: a) of course John is totally wrong about how important he is to Sherlock but Sherlock didn’t help much with all his backpeddling and support to Mary, b) John deep inside knows he’s wrong but his judgement at this point is clouded and also he tries to abdicate himself from a part of his responsibility in all this mess and c) it is obvious that after the last reconciliation with Mary and especially her love confession before her death, John thought he was wrong for ever thinking he should take the child and leave her or betray her. Whether he had forgiven her for shooting Sherlock or not is unclear but I believe he thought she didn’t deserve to be seperated from Rosie as Rosie didn’t deserve to grow up without a mother. Besides, as John is a giving person with low self-confidence who feels grateful to anyone who likes him back, redeemed and enamoured Mary rose rapidly in his esteem while Sherlock’s inexpicable, baffling, occasionally indifferent demeanour just filled him with doubt, loneliness and thoughts of unworthiness. 

All these make sense to me, the thing that is really OOC and unjustifiable in my opinion is that John never apologized to Sherlock for hitting him. This I can’t forgive him for although I believe it’s mostly Moffat to blame because this is definitely incosistent writing. I want to believe something happened off camera but I am not sure because there is still some tension between them in TFP, mostly from John’s side. John still looks rigid and apparently his issues will only be fixed slowly in time. The biggest step was made though. Sherlock finally showed he cares in a conventional way, he showed John he’s there for him, he was tender and compassionate. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that basically what John needed all this time was a hug. I am adamant about  this; John is still respectful of Sherlock and his lifestyle, he just feared he was taken in by his romantic silly self, that he acted stupidly due to his raging emotions (which is admittedly true). John did act stupidly for a very long time.

Sherlock: It’s okay.

John: It’s not okay.

S: No... but it is what it is.

In the end, Sherlock agrees that John made many mistakes. But Sherlock saved him from doing the biggest mistake of all; never forgive himself and destroy their and Rosie’s life for good. 

John still does not demand anything from Sherlock. He is incredibly low-maintenance especially when it comes to Sherlock. John can be happy with as much as an “Are you okay?” or a simple hug coming from Sherlock because he loves him that much. All he needs is to not feel alone, to not feel tricked by his own self and emotions, to not feel immoral and toxic to others because of his desire. I can’t help but add that Jim Moriarty truly did one hell of a job with them that morning on the rooftop because I always need to add this for some reason.

Eventually, John grew tired of his feelings and his trouble and pain and we can’t really blame him for that. I will analyze this more in the next meta which will focus on their potential after the hug scene. I can’t however stress enough; no matter how exhausted John feels, he can’t escape from his love for Sherlock, a blessing and a curse at the same time. He simply can’t. He may rebel against him, he may try to leave, he may try to find a substitute or forget but he won’t. He would always give his all for something as small as a soothing word or a shared joke or a hug or a ludicrous chase in the night. That’s what he hates but this is who he is and why we love him. He just needed to make his peace with himself. He just needed Sherlock.

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