asherlockstudy

[asherlockstudy]

[asherlockstudy]

SAD POST

I am so at the lowest of lows right now

I sense that my wisdom teeth are getting angry and somehow simultaneously a forgotten impacted canine that my orthodontist FORGOT and thus completed my HELLA EXPENSIVE treatment without pulling out the freaking adult canine which means that it will eventually get out and I will have to remove my permanent retainer, pull out the baby canine and then do new orthodontics to put the adult canine in the proper place…. Anyway the canine seems to get antsy as well and I have so much pressure in my jaw right now, not only because three teeth are trying to erupt but also because my permanent retainer stops them from actually erupting 🙃 the battle of the titans in my jaw

And it would all be fine if I did not have gigantic molars in a very narrow and delicate lower jaw which means that my wisdom teeth are of course fully impacted and basically behind my cheek. I saw a YouTube video by a mature orthodontist titled “the hardest wisdom tooth I ever extracted” and the scan of that tooth looked a little easier than mine hahaHA 🥲🥲🥲 And also the patient was younger and male with much wider jaws than me so no contest I beat him hands down.

And not only my jaw is very small and delicate and pulling out the third molars will probably put too much pressure for it to handle but also I have huge reasons to believe (ie sporadic spasms that happen a few times per year) that one or more of these impacted teeth sit on my alveolar nerve which makes me a perfect candidate for nerve damage during these extractions.

And it’s not just that but in my country oral surgeons perform with local anaesthesia unless you break your face in an accident or something and NO SIR I am not having this shit with local anaesthesia. Did it once with the most freakish impacted upper canine in existence and I am not fucking doing it again. But I don’t know where to go, they all use only local, even clinics in the capital avoid sedation or iv.

I am in a constant extreme worry and of course that took a toll to my GI tract issues and I am having huge bloating and heart ache (it’s from the bowels projecting there, I had it before).

Also I once again might have to soon get out of my own house due to nightmarish neighbours about to come to the apartment upstairs and I know for a fact these are going to be worse than the bastard living in it three years ago and even worse those are the owners of the apartment, so if they come, you know they are staying for life. Which means I can’t stay in mine. Even though I am also an owner.

And I am just observing that I must be one of the globally best cases of extreme somatisation. Because all my concerns, even minor inconveniences, have a severe and even immediate consequence on my body. My worries lead to severe eczema and scratching that I cannot stop. I am bleeding from my hands and legs. My allergies are amazing, they really are largely psychological, the moment a person I find annoying enters the room I am in, I start sneezing, it is unbelievable. If a clothe doesn’t sit on me right, when I am in a hurry, in the most minor unpleasant temperature change, I start sneezing nonstop. I am a bloody nut job. Mentally, in the way I behave I am a pretty pliable and patient person I think and all my frustration gets out physically. I can’t believe me.

By the way I know a visit to a therapist or a prescription of some medication might be long due. I am very aware of many things, at least awareness is not a problem with me. I just want to vent here.

#personal crap #vent #tw health #tw dental issues #tw allergies #tw depression #tw ibs

[asherlockstudy]

so many people do not understand that 1) animals are not people, and 2) they aren't teaching their animals what they THINK they are teaching them.

dog group on the book of faces, someone is asking for advice on how to get their dog to come to them after the dog is done relieving itself outside. The dog doesn't like coming to them an they spend ten or twenty minutes or more catching the dog each time to bring it in. Which reminded me of one of many attempts to talk a person through trying to fix exactly this same behavior in *many* other dogs over the years...

Me: So, a quick question for you... does the dog not coming to you and you having to chase them down frustrate you?

Them: Of course!

Me: So what do you do when you finally either catch the dog or get them to come to you?

Them: I give the dog a correction!

Me: So. You get hands on your dog and then you immediately punish them for allowing you to get hands on them. And you wonder why your dog has developed the habit of not coming to you?

Them: No, that's not... I'm punishing them for not coming when I call!

Me: Which was.... fifteen minutes ago, or so, you said?

Them: Yes, when I first called them!

Me: Dogs brains literally cannot link an abstract thought like that. A thought and a consequence MUST happen within 2.4 seconds of one another, or the consequence becomes linked to the most recent behavior, thought, or activity. So, tell me... how is your dog supposed to understand that you punishing them is for the event fifteen minutes ago when you have made such a concerted, if unintentional, effort to teach them that them getting close enough for you to lay hands on them in the yard means an immediate punishment?

Them: But that's not what I *meant*!

Me: Doesn't matter what YOU meant... what THEY learned is that they come to you, and they get punished. Stop punishing your dog for the behavior that you want to see more of.

Stop anthropomorphizing your animals, folks. They don't think like us. Stop setting them - and yourself - up for failure.

[asherlockstudy]

Wizard worm just emerged from a wizarding hole! Lucky you!!!✨🪱🪄🍀

#yeah let’s prepare for that #because so far I am preparing for 6 weeks of dental issues

[asherlockstudy]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[asherlockstudy]

Day after dental cleaning and gums look exactly as inflamed and infected as yesterday 👍

#if not worse #personal crap #I see the deep cleaning coming and I feel like dropping head first from a cliff #I hate dental issues #I try so hard to maintain the gums and teeth #and nothing ever works #my gingivitis must be genetical I can’t explain it #but then again nobody else in the family has gingivitis

[asherlockstudy]

#i did not need to see this today #tomorrow is my appointment

[asherlockstudy]

[asherlockstudy]

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

#im dying #op i think they are playing with you

[asherlockstudy]

After all this mayhem, the possibility of getting that wedding cake perfectly half down to the very ounce, let alone with a bride missing, was like one in a hundred and I am perhaps being too generous.

#just saying #rhett and link #gmm #good mythical morning #randl #rhink #maybe #i am having thoughts #mythical

[asherlockstudy]

let's be clear about this.

#iconic eternal unforgettable moments

[asherlockstudy]

I loved this moment because Rhett clearly meant it to be intentional. But it came out SO intentional that it ended up feeling unintentional to Link, so you can literally see his brain going "why is he being so loud, we are not in our secret honeymoon, we're in our secret 10 year anniversary".

#rhink #rhett and link #good mythical more #gmmore #gmmore 2587 #mythical #also emily checking link's reaction

[asherlockstudy]

“lemme spot ya”

[asherlockstudy]

[asherlockstudy]

[asherlockstudy]

In his early youth he looked so timid, even in the photoshoots. He would often stand on the side or in the back despite being the singer. He basically transformed after Brian passed away and Keith fell too deep into drug use.

Alexis Korner: I always felt that Mick had the ultimate strength and that little streak of cruelty and ruthlessness. It may very easily have been Mick's defence mechanism operating, making himself seem more cruel than he was and thus less likely to suffer attack. But the feeling of cruelty and ruthlessness was definitely there. And also his sullenness, which is what I thought his meanness was at the time. But he wasn't so much sullen as shy. He was just shy and didn't talk very much. Yet it came across as sullen. And that was a part of the attraction of Mick.

Mick Jagger biography by Anthony Scaduto (1974)

#the rolling stones #mick jagger

[asherlockstudy]

Spring in Holland