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whoishotteranimepolls · 1 month

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Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

* updated as of April 6th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora & Akainu

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut"

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal,"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife"

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you",

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead"

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch"

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy"

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

#poll analysis #fandom trends #fandom #fandom culture #not a poll #one piece #nicknames and funny tags

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periprose · 1 year

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Therapy

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky Barnes is your newest patient at your clinic. As a therapist, you know all about having to maintain decency and professional respect with your patients, even when they seem unruly. But Bucky isn't just any ordinary man– he's the top earner of the Russian mafia down in Brighton Beach, and he's temperamental and not really down with therapy. He's only seeing you out of necessity, and the last thing you're expecting is other strange developments in your relationship.

Genre: Deeply inspired by Tony Soprano and Melfi's relationship on the Sopranos, Mafia!Bucky Barnes, not really pro mafia, doctor-patient to friends to lovers, lots of psychology and therapy talk throughout, fluff

Word Count: 8.5k

Bucky waits as the secretary informs him that his therapist will be ready for him soon, and he’s sweating bullets, feeling like a child who’s been told to wait for a punishment from the school principal.

He has absolutely no idea what you’ll be like– he was just recommended a therapist by his physician, because apparently his blood pressure is unfortunately incredibly high for someone his age, and it’s going to become an issue later on if he doesn’t fix it now.

Of course, Bucky knows that stress comes with the job, so no wonder his blood pressure is so high. He can’t exactly be his gang’s boss if he’s having heart palpitations and needing to sit down every few moments when he should be intimidating his enemies and rivals. The Russian mafia requires him to be almost perfect at every instance, so they can keep their riches and luxuries growing. He’s one of their top earners, but this goddamn stress is starting to ruin things for him.

He’s come here under the guise that he’s out repairing his car, even telling his mother and his sister that, and his underlings aren’t going to argue with him regardless of what he says. It’s a good thing this office is in New York, so he didn’t have to travel to anywhere particularly suspicious.

But Bucky still feels so strange, so unlike himself, feeling both wary and somewhat angry by this situation that he’s in, where the grey carpet and the equally dull pink-grey of the walls makes him feel like he’s trapped. Trapped in this skyscraper, when really he should be down at Sam’s bar, clinking his drink next to Steve’s and watching the sun set on Brighton Beach.

And he would be, if it wasn’t for the constant, clenched fear in his heart, the pit in his stomach that never seems to go away despite his attempts to fill it with drinks and the women and other vices, and he feels a chill– he wonders if he will ever successfully remove himself from this lifestyle, or if he even wants to. Bucky sometimes believes that it’s more likely he’ll die here.

Bucky thinks for a moment that he should leave. Now, while he still can, because he thinks this appointment is probably pointless.

“Mr. Barnes?” You open your office door, and Bucky sighs and stands up. “Right this way.”

He notices you don’t exactly look how he envisioned. You have a no-nonsense appearance– none of that frilly new age bullshit he was expecting, no crystal bracelets or spiritual tattoos or extra piercings– you have a khaki blazer on and tidy slacks. Your hair is coiffed in a way that says respectable, but you also don’t have the time to try too hard with your looks. Your glasses make you look intelligent, but also scary in how you peer at him.

He follows you into your office– everything is in a cushy shade of brown, from the carpets to the sofa chairs, way up to the wood paneling and shelves surrounding your desk, and the framed certificates displaying your knowledge, and it's immediately more comforting than the outside room. Bucky wonders if that's by design.

He sits down on an armchair, and his fingers, out of their own accord, grip the armrests as if he’s dying. Hell, maybe he is.

"I've done a little bit of reading on why you're here." You start murmuring over your patient files on your desk as you look for his particular one. "Matt Murdock, Jessica Jones… ah, there it is. James Buchanan Barnes."

"...Bucky is fine." He clenches his jaw– no one has called him James in literal decades, and he's not going to let some fancy doctor like you start. Bucky barely wants to be here as it is.

"In this office, we have a level of professional respect that needs to be maintained." You correct him gently, not because he did anything wrong, but just as a careful reminder. "I will address you as Mr. Barnes. Is that okay?"

"Sure." Bucky feels tense, waiting for the hour to go by any faster than it currently is. You look at him– not in a way that makes him feel as if he's being sized up, because he'd definitely make a backhanded comment about that– but in a way that articulates some form of curiosity.

It's to Bucky's displeasure that he can't tell whether or not it's just simply the look of a therapist, or if you’re really, truly interested in him. He nods at you– you understand he wants you to get on with it.

“Okay. So you’re here because you’ve been having high blood pressure, and heart palpitations.” You scan over the note written by his physician– scrawled in a hasty cursive– and look back up at him. “You’re in good shape, and you’re a bit too young to be having age-related heart problems.”

“Nice observation, doc.” Bucky retorts, and you half-smile at that– your best patients have always been the snarky ones, and you figure it’s because they have that sense of humour that is sometimes needed for therapy. “Obviously I’m stressed the fuck out.”

“Stressed, Mr. Barnes?” You cross your arms, and sit down in front of him in your own armchair, starting the session legitimately. “And why do you think that it is?”

“I said it was obvious. Aren’t you a doctor? Shouldn’t you be smarter than this?” Bucky shakes his head, wondering why he has to delve into something so clear. “My jobs, doc. They take too much out of me these days– it’s a wonder I don’t just end it.”

You ignore the perceived slight against your intelligence. “Why can’t you end it, Mr. Barnes?”

“...There’s too many people counting on me.” Bucky sighs in exasperation. “My mother, she’s not gonna be able to fend for herself if I’m not bringing in the income– I’ve considered putting her in a home, but she thinks I’m trying to get rid of her– and my baby sister, Rebecca, she’s used to a certain, uh, lifestyle now. It’s not very fair of me to take that away from her.”

Bucky closes his eyes. “That’s not even counting the rest of my family.”

“Your family, or your ‘family?’” You mimic quotation marks, meaning his crime family, and Bucky swallows. “Mr. Barnes, I’d like to remind you. Don’t say anything that would require me to break the patient-doctor confidentiality agreement.”

Bucky takes this to mean that you know what he does for a living, and he’s not stupid– he was never going to get really into that, say anything that would really, truly implicate him, he knows all about the laws around snitching– he just thought to the rest of the world, his reputation wouldn't precede him quite as much.

“Okay. Should I start with where it all began, or just what’s on my mind?” Bucky wrinkles his forehead as he thinks, and you leave the floor open for him to begin wherever he likes.

Bucky starts with how his latest “room cleaning” (you assume he’s putting up a front as a janitor) went south, because there are certain stains that you can never get rid of.

“Usually, I’m quick on my feet– I know the rules and laws around disposing of “stains,” and I only have a limited amount of time before the smell starts getting worse and neighbours start asking questions.” Bucky illuminates for you, and you get the feeling stains don’t exactly just mean blood, maybe body disposal or something like that.

“This time, though?” Bucky continues, and his voice gets raspy, as patients’ often do, when they start elaborating and getting to the difficult parts of their experiences. “Steve asked me what was wrong, why was I frozen in place, and I leaned against the wall, couldn’t say anything.”

“I was feeling that… y’know, that loud sort of thumping–” Bucky suddenly motions to his head, unable to look quite at you, instead feeling the sensation he was describing. “Like a heartbeat, but in my head?”

“Yes. I know what you mean.” You write this down as well. “Those are signs of your heart palpitations– most likely the pressure in your head was induced from a panic attack.”

“Right.” Bucky swallows the lump in his throat. “It was too loud to even keep my eyes open, Jesus– it was scary, I started yelling at Steve and then I… I turned over to the side, and puked.”

“So you’re struggling with maintaining your composure. Letting loose with anger, panic, other aggressive emotions.” You note, and Bucky raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but it’s worse than that. That stuff can be… useful, in my line of work.” Bucky cracks a few of his knuckles. “I can’t exactly do my fucking work if I’m puking up shit, right?”

“Sure. But we’re here to focus on why. On what’s going on with your mental health.” You gently prod him to keep going.

“My sister, Rebecca, she’s saying she’s gonna go audition for movies.” Bucky explains, with a sideways, sarcastic smirk that has you thinking this guy doesn’t look half bad. “Not adult movies, mind you, doc– I immediately thought that and tried to talk her out of– but real Hollywood productions, something that a New Money socialite like her could potentially get into, for real.”

“Tell me what the conversation was like.”

“Well, Rebecca’s been going to acting classes, and she told me that it was just a hobby. Just something all the other girls in Brighton were doing.” Bucky nonchalantly scratches his cheek, but his jaw clenches as he continues. “But she sat me down, and said ‘Buck, my teacher says I have a real good shot at making it. I know how you feel about this, but I can’t just sit and spend the rest of my life doing nothing.’ Listen, doc, she has a point– I’ve always felt a little bad that Rebecca just sits there, looking pretty. But I didn’t want her to go and do this, and–”

Bucky inhales. “I couldn’t speak to her. I felt dizzy, and I sat down, and I felt like I had to… I had to either run or fight this thing before it got too far.”

“Fight-or-flight.” You affirm, and you point at him with a well-groomed fingernail. “Hm. That sounds like the real issue.”

Bucky frowns at that.

“Huh?”

“You’re not just afraid of losing your sister– you clearly have a fear of what the future entails. You’re exhibiting symptoms of PTSD.” You clarify, and Bucky shifts around in his seat, wanting more of an explanation. “You’re in a constant state of panic because you don’t know what life will bring you.”

That explanation rings through him, and he’s drawn to a silence.

“But why now?” Bucky eventually mutters, staring down at the carpet again, this time focusing on a piece of lint that hadn’t been vacuumed. “Isn’t life always uncertain?”

“Well, PTSD is built up because of past trauma. Anything can really induce it again– something that’s triggered you appropriately, whether it be through similar emotions or similar events.” You think that over, and then nod. “It sounds as if you are experiencing a relapse in trauma… perhaps due to the nature of your work, or because the lack of control with Rebecca– possibly leading to a blown cover or her newfound independence– and most likely of all, it could be because you have not let go of those feelings and use them in response to many different situations. It’s not uncommon, Mr. Barnes, to become used to traumatic responses as ‘how it’s supposed to be.’ If it’s all you know, you won’t expect any different until it’s too late.”

Bucky realizes that that’s exactly how he felt when he was sitting in the waiting room. Like all of this was useless, an attempt to fix something that he felt was totally ordinary. If it wasn’t for the extremity of his recent reactions, he would’ve just kept going on like this.

Something about this revelation pisses him off.

“I believe we should try to focus on this and work through it.” You check the clock, and then smile professionally at him. “That’s all the time we have for today. Any parting questions, thoughts, ideas?”

Bucky is still silent. He is mulling over the fact that you’ve already seemed to figure him out, at least partially– he wanted more of a challenge, more of something to use against you so he could successfully call therapy a bunch of bullshit. He feels a sense of relief that the hour is over, but also annoyance over the fact that he wants to keep going.

“...Thanks, doc.” Bucky bids you goodbye, and you nod and walk him to the door.

You feel the animosity in the air, but you know that’s not rare, especially considering who your patient is.

Mr. Barnes is terrifying when he glares at you.

His third session had started off with a story about a “coworker” he had to have a talking to, and when you pried just a bit deeper, wanting to know what exactly the coworker had done, he inhaled sharply, and stared you down with those blue-grey eyes.

You don’t know how to respond to his silence, to his mob boss intimidation tactics. Bucky might be the most difficult patient you’ve had so far, and you do not want to push too far and hurt yourself in the process.

You maintain your poker face, needing to do so to maintain the safe space you have made not just for Bucky, but for yourself. If he ever came forward too quickly, attacked you– it would be the end of your relationship with him.

“Why did you stop speaking, Mr. Barnes?” You break the silence, and Bucky continues to stare you down. “I thought we were getting towards a–”

"You think I'm stupid, huh?" Bucky scoffs at you. "You want me to reveal everything about myself, right? This isn't enough to make me make a fool of myself. Doesn't matter if you keep offering me little platitudes, or if your office is nice and warm, or if you happen to be a very pretty, smart doctor lady. It's not gonna fucking work on me."

You look taken aback for just a moment, and then smile neatly at him. "Wonderful, Mr. Barnes. I think you're making significant progress."

"Really?" Bucky furrows his brows. "You're not gonna tell me I'm rejecting change, or some shit like that?"

"Funny you should mention one of the main pillars of therapy." You bite your lip as you think. “No, this is actually a part of it, is it not? You are formulating a response to the change, which means you are getting results, somewhere inside you. You don’t have to tell me what exactly it is, Mr. Barnes, it’s evident in the way you reject it.”

“God, how do I get you off my back then?” Bucky sighs and then laughs a little. “Okay, fine, doc. I’m only trying this shit so I can do my work, get it? Don’t try to rehabilitate me.”

“Noted.” You pretend to write that down, but actually write three times three equals nine. Just a random sentence that looks like something important.

You won’t be upfront about this, because you don’t want to scare him away– but therapy is not some sort of quick fix. Rehabilitation will have to be apart of Bucky Barnes’ regime someday, at least as the end result of his therapy, or he’ll never have the mental strength he needs to move on.

Several of your clients have had to build up the right state of mind in order to then remove themselves from the situation. Bucky can’t be any different.

“Alright. Sorry.” Bucky doesn’t usually apologize, ever, but something about how your eyes– normally so reserved in their emotions– became wide-eyed, slightly fearful of him, made him want to take a step back and stop. “Should I keep going?”

You’re taking a moment, because you want to know why he snapped like that. What exactly did you say? Should you avoid the phrase next time? How do you help Bucky and protect yourself? Is it worth delving deeply into his past, when you risk getting hurt by his tendencies?

Every therapist has this moment, you know that. Some of your colleagues have passed on patients to you when they felt that it was too much for them. And you have an inkling that Bucky is going to be the one to watch for you.

You think that Bucky doesn’t like when you ask for specifics. Or that he’s getting frustrated that you’re getting to him, so he pushes back– but really, just like you said, if Bucky was truly not being changed by any of this, he wouldn’t be responding at all. You decide to be patient.

“You can keep going if you would like to.” You respond quietly, carefully, and Bucky nods and continues on with his story.

“So the guy– the coworker– he’s been harassing one of my other coworkers, right. And that little guy is pretty wet behind the ears, too young to really stand up for himself.” Bucky is shaking his head in quiet disappointment. “So the second he came too close– did too much that he shouldn’t have done– I ended it.”

“I see.”

“And it’s not that I didn’t want to do it– I did wanna end that particular situation, doc. It was just that the kid wasn’t doing enough to fight back, but after I did it, everything felt…” Bucky trails off, staring at the floor, his eyes beginning to water. “Different. Bad. All this shit I do is for a reason, and I usually… I like it. But the kid started wailing, crying, and for a second, I felt really shit about the whole thing. Like I shouldn’t have gone that far.”

You take a moment to write that down, that Bucky is beginning to feel some semblance of regret.

“But you know what’s crazy, doc? Even though I feel bad about it, I still want to do it. Doesn’t that sound insane?” Bucky swallows, and he looks at you, maybe for comfort, maybe for an explanation. “I can’t stop– I won’t stop. I just need to keep going and stop being such a pussy about it.”

“You’re focusing on the wrong aspect, Mr. Barnes.” You chime in, and he shakes his head, tapping at his arm rest. “Why did you feel bad? What about this younger man had you feeling, well, out of sorts?”

“I told you already, doc, he was screaming and crying and it was just– it was too much.” Bucky repeats, but he feels himself growing smaller, suddenly feeling tiny, just like when he was a young man starting out in this world. “I guess… maybe, just maybe it brought up some bad stuff inside me.”

“Yes, this is the problem. Being in these situations will take a toll on you– even if you still need to do them, Mr. Barnes– and so you’re beginning to feel the memories roll back in. It’s all a part of how you’ve been unintentionally triggering yourself the last few years, I’m guessing, because you can’t simply forget the bad times forever.” You point out to him, and he shuts his eyes.

“Yeah, so I’m a fucking psycho? There’s a whole bunch of things about myself that I don’t even know?” Bucky scoffs at himself, feeling very unmasculine and more like a baby.

“Don’t tear yourself down that much.” You remark, not unkindly. “I myself have had many bad, sad, unspeakable times– people are more broken than you realize.”

“Yeah, really?” Bucky looks mystified. “What kinda trouble could a lady like you get into? You’re very clever, and you’re probably well-off… I’d figure you’d keep your nose outta bad shit.”

“It’s not that simple, is it?” You lean back in your chair, pick a loose thread off your blazer. “Sometimes bad shit picks you, Mr. Barnes. That’s why we should not blame ourselves for things outside of our control.”

“Hey, don’t leave me hanging.” Bucky shoots back suddenly, sitting more present and aware of you than he had before. “What happened to you, doc?”

“That’s not why we’re here, Mr. Barnes.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Bucky is half smiling, looking more roguish and understandably a little intrigued. “You’ve been hearing all about me, the least I deserve is some reciprocation.”

You blink. “Mr. Barnes, you’re paying me to be here for you. My advice is–”

“Alright, alright. Letting it go now.” Bucky raises his hands in a gesture meant to stop you from continuing. “Keep your secrets, it makes you more mysterious. More hot.”

You raise your eyebrows and then laugh. Just a little snort– and Bucky smiles.

“Okay, Mr. Barnes. We’ve got about seven minutes left, so I’ll tell you a little about myself.” You start, and Bucky raises his eyebrows.

“You’re that desperate to keep me from finding you attractive? What is this, patients and doctors aren’t allowed to–”

“They’re definitely not.” You silence him, but you can tell from his expression he likes the challenge. “Anyways. I’m thirty-three years old, I have two degrees, a PhD in psychology and a bachelor’s in social work– I did both at the same time– I’ve lived in New York my whole life, and my mother still believes that I haven’t done enough. Always going on about how I’m wasting my potential.”

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky pinches his forehead. “It’s always the smart girls like you who get way too much hate thrown at them. Even with two degrees, she’s like that? Want me to talk to her? Have a little one-on-one?”

“No, no.” You start laughing for real and then have to compose yourself, but Bucky has a different expression now, a sort of soft look in his eyes, and you find yourself turning a little warm. “I appreciate that, Mr. Barnes, but there’s no way I could let you do that.”

“Well, at least you considered it.” Bucky smiles and you feel a strange fit of passion inside you, that this guy who hardly knows you is willing to go that far.

That perhaps, even as a shadowy, veiled observer, meant to impart advice and be relatively untouchable… you could be touched, too.

You swallow, ignoring the thought that he’s rather handsome.

You’re out shopping for a new dress. It’s your sister-in-law’s birthday, and you know she wanted a bit of a fancy dinner for whatever reason. She’s turning 31, so there’s nothing special about it, but your brother, Viz, insisted that you go along with it.

“Wanda, Wanda, Wanda…” You mumble under your breath. She loves red, so you know you have to stay away from that colour. You’re leaning towards a navy-blue, simple dress with no details, just to be hidden in the background with.

“Hey, doc. Didn’t think I’d see you here.” Bucky suddenly ambushes you from the aisle, and you blink before refusing to make eye contact with him.

It’s fine that you’re his therapist, but in public? You worry about the perception on your work. Bucky is kind of infamous– sometimes your secretary will ask for gory details on what he does. You’ve never shared anything, but you also know that Bucky himself is relatively confidential about the whole thing.

“Hello, Mr. Barnes.” You utter quietly, and he tuts and grins at your expression.

“Why do you look so scared?” He snorts, and with an overly familiar touch, his hand is on your shoulder.

You know you should be pushing him aside, so not to ruin the careful, purposefully respectful relationship between you two, but it’s also in public– Bucky has no reason to follow your rules here– and he’s not one to be trifled with.

“Not scared, just, uh, taken off guard.” You admit, and he laughs a little. “I’m just dress shopping.”

“I can see that.” Bucky gently pulls the dress you’re holding so he can look at it carefully. “That’s not you, I don’t think. The style is too frumpy– you look better in what you wear in the office.”

“Oh, really? So what is ‘me’, Mr. Barnes?” You wonder how long Bucky has been checking you out, supposedly enough that he knows your style.

“Mmm… something like this?” He holds up a dress that just barely can be called one, black rhinestone straps being held together with skinny strips of fabric that would barely cover your breasts or ass, and you roll your eyes and put it back on the rack. “I’m kidding, just kidding. That’s more the local strippers’ vibe, I know.”

“You’re revealing a bit about your habits, huh.” You look at him pointedly.

“Hey, blame the job. That’s where most dudes want to meet up.” Bucky scans through the rack and then picks up a much more you dress, something maroon, little embroidered flowers and filigree in the threadwork, and fitted enough that it would show off your body. Shorter than you would’ve liked, but you figure that’s Bucky’s gaze coming in.

“Wow.” You reach out for it, and Bucky gives you a smile that you’re sure has dazzled many, many women.

“I’ll, uh, let you try that on. I’m heading to work, but I’ll see ya around, doc.” Bucky flashes a quick wave at you and heads on out, and you’re left feeling like you wanted more out of him.

The next session with Bucky, probably the ninth or tenth, he’s a lot more agreeable. A lot more open about what’s going on.

“My ma, you know, she’s getting into a bit of a hostile nature. I don’t know what spurred it on.” Bucky shakes his head and looks towards the ceiling. “She never used to get so upset over some of these things– last week she got upset because the wallpaper of her new sitting room was too dark or something– and I think she’s losing it. She’s losing control and doesn’t know what to do.”

“You’re right, Mr. Barnes. How does that affect you?” You lean in as you write this down. “How will you respond to that?”

“I think I get it, you know, doc? I feel like I can’t control everything all the time either.” Bucky begins a rhythm, showing his understanding of the situation. “She’s not wrong that it’s annoying when the little things don’t work out… sometimes it’s like all the small things are building up and then everything feels shit and you have to start screaming.”

“Good. Yes, exactly.” You nod your agreement, and Bucky nods and keeps going.

“I don’t know what I can do. Sometimes it feels like she’s got something, some undiagnosed illness, because even if I support her, she’s not always listening.” Bucky sounds despondent. “I say that she’s not at fault for what happens to her. That she’s not crazy, just in a bad place. But she tells me to fuck off, too, and I don’t… I can’t say I don’t deserve that, because I know I haven’t been the best son. I am the one of the things she can’t control, and even if there’s been some good, some helpful stuff… I still know she loathes me.”

“It’s difficult to come to terms with some of the negative things you may have done to her.” You feel more invested in Bucky’s story than you thought you would– you can see tears building up in his eyes. “But I commend you for doing your best, Mr. Barnes. I hope you can recognize this is a big milestone in your own personal development– even if it is difficult to rebuild your relationship with your mother, you are still there for her, and you can see what she needs. You must understand that your mother’s reaction to you is outside of your control. You can simply try your best to continue on with this knowledge and her, or move on past it– I believe you will make the right decision, though.”

Bucky sniffs a little, and wipes his eyes. “Thanks, doc. I’m glad we have these talks– you make me feel smarter.”

You half-smile at that. “I’m only showing you what you are already capable of, Mr. Barnes.”

He snickers a little. “My ma would like you.”

You feel a swell of pride and fondness that Bucky would say such a thing, even if you have no idea how true that it is, and you do your best to just keep that repressed. You can’t go on as his therapist if you’re starting to get too involved.

Bucky asks if he can pay you double for your services and you insist that he doesn’t need to do that. You feel as if you’ve gained more than just a well-paying client– you enjoy your sessions with him now.

Wanda’s birthday dinner is swanky, at some upper-class Italian place down by Brighton. Wanda is half-amused, half-irritated that you’re wearing such a lovely red-toned dress, but she says nothing of it.

Viz, your brother, is kind of weird around you. He seems to notice something about you.

“Anything different at work? Maybe a pay raise, something like that?” He asks out of curiosity at the dinner table, and you shake your head. “Ah, well. You just seem so smiley, sis.”

“Yeah. Just glowing, and at my birthday, too.” Wanda jokes, and you don’t have any answers.

You feel as if you know the reason why– and he shows up just as you’re thinking it.

Bucky is dressed in a nice blazer, dress pants, looking much more slick than he often does at your office. He comes in with most likely another member of his gang, and together they go sit in a corner booth.

You feel your face flush a deep red– he looks gorgeous, almost as if he could ditch being a mob boss and become an actor or a model instead. You can’t help but glance at him, hoping he’ll catch your eyes.

Eventually, you get up to use the restroom. You stumble a little on your heels– and it’s that motion that causes Bucky to look up again.

He’s taken aback– it’s you, but you look stunning, far more beautiful than he had ever seen you look during your sessions together, and that’s saying a lot because you were already incredibly distracting before, and a part of him is jealous and wonders why you’ve held yourself away from him like that. But Bucky is more rational now, and he knows that you haven’t done anything to make him attracted to you. He’s just like that.

He notices, with a bit of a possessive, satisfied flair, that you’re wearing the dress he picked. Bucky was right, it does suit you a lot, and he enjoys being able to make out your figure while having a bit of it left to his imagination. He sees the dip of your collar, where your cleavage is just beginning to come out, and bites his lip, hoping that he’d get to see more soon if he was so lucky.

You pass by his table, pulling your shawl a little tighter around you, and Bucky waves at you. You seem to blush– and he likes it a lot, likes being able to make the smart, always-one-step-ahead doctor flustered– and it’s like your roles have been switched, that you are now looking for his approval.

He gives it you readily. “You look great, doc. Love the hair– and the dress.”

“Ah… thank you, Mr. Barnes.” You beam warmly at him, and continue on your way to the washroom.

“Who the hell was that?” Steve asks, scratching his beard.

“Uh, right. That was my therapist.”

“That was your therapist?” Steve splutters, and Bucky shoves him a little. “Jesus, man. I need to get me one of those. She was hot.”

Bucky agrees with him, but still tells him to fuck off. He doesn’t want to share you.

He motions to one of the waitresses, and tells her he’d like to pay for your table anonymously. When the bill arrives, many hours later, Wanda is incredibly confused on who would pay for her birthday dinner– she’s convinced it must be a secret birthday gift, and you only take credit for it because you don’t want to be found out like this.

You had no idea Bucky would do that for you.

A few weeks later, at another session, Bucky seems easily drawn to you. More than before.

“Rebecca’s getting ready. She gets a little too dolled up nowadays– but she knows no guy is going to talk shit with her now.” Bucky admits, and you wonder where this story is going. “She can tell I’m different, she keeps asking me what’s going on.”

“You’re very free to tell her what’s going on, Mr. Barnes.”

“Yes… but…” Bucky omits the fact that Rebecca seems certain he’s into a girl. She’s always had this weird uncanny ability to tell when Bucky’s got his eyes set on someone, whether it be some random girl at the bar, or someone like you– you’re one in a million for Bucky.

Someone he really, truly likes.

He clears his throat– he knows it’s inappropriate, it’s wrong, but he can’t help himself. You are too sweet, too lovable and kind and intelligent in ways that he’s not entirely familiar with, so it’s entirely too easy for him to simply give in and fall for you.

He knows the boundaries you set. Respect, professional respect for the space that you’re in. It would be especially bad because of the nature of his work– he knows that even if he could protect you, you probably don’t want to be involved in that lifestyle.

“I don’t want to break your cover, doc. It’s best if I just tell her nothing about it for now.” Bucky concludes, and you shrug at that. “Anyways– I found out that she was going to go out with Steve, that ugly ass motherfucker that I still keep around for some reason, and I just yelled at her. I thought I was over it, but I’m not.”

“Have you considered that your sister is an adult who knows what she’s getting into?” You suggest. “She might not be the one to get hurt. Perhaps she wants the same thing he does– as you’ve said before, Steve is rather good at hooking up with women and running away afterwards.”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s terrible– he loves girls and doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he’s full of commitment issues.” Bucky waves Steve’s issues aside while you are impressed at how quickly he was able to suss that out. “Rebecca is gonna be the death of me. She can live her own life, I’m not concerned about that– it’s that I know she’s doing this shit to rile me up.”

“Ah, I see.” You hum over that. “You could simply pretend not to care– many people stop those kind of actions when they see it’s not having an effect.”

“That’s true.” Bucky still shudders. “Still, if they fuck up– both of them– I will spend the rest of my life hearing their arguments.”

“Why not try to find an alternative person for Rebecca to date, then?” You think for a moment. “Or maybe she could find an actor of some sort. I don’t believe she means for this to last in a long term way.”

“Okay, that could also be true.” Bucky admits, and his eyes find yours. “Maybe I’m just looking for the worst outcome.”

Bucky seems better and better with every session– in this case it seems like his personal problems have been rectified just halfway into it– and he still spends the rest of the hour talking to you.

“You still worried about your brother’s new kid?” Bucky asks, remembering how last time he left the session he heard you yelling into your cellphone about it.

“That was a private conversation, but, uh, yes.” You decide to answer him honestly. “Yes, I am worried. My brother can sometimes be very– unemotional, detached, and it’s bad for his first child to grow up in that environment.”

“Hey, at least the kid has you. Therapist aunt– I bet you’ll help out in some ways.” Bucky points at you, and you agree with that. “Talk to your brother more. He’ll listen if he sees that you’re serious.”

You know Bucky’s right, but you have to wonder when you started taking advice from him– it’s almost as if he’s giving you little mafia tidbits, like intimidating your brother by persisting at the conversation– and you actually don’t mind it.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” You get up to bid him goodbye.

Bucky has an unreadable expression as he leaves, and he gently, but firmly, grasps your hand before going out the door, a grip that feels strangely intimate, and you’re left standing there with an urge for more, your mouth agape in a bit of shock.

Bucky calls a week later sounding incredibly apologetic.

“I’m sorry, doc. I can’t make today’s session.” He sounds strangely heartbroken.

“Hey, that’s alright, Mr. Barnes. I’ll see what I can do in terms of refunding you.” You hope that’s all he called for. Recently there was something in the news about the Russian gangs of Brighton Beach having a kerfuffle with the cops– you can only assume that’s what Bucky’s gotten into, and you feel kind of guilty that you let yourself get so close to him.

“No, that’s alright. Keep the cash, I don’t mind that.” Bucky yells something incoherent, there are alarming gun-shot like sounds in the background, and then he comes back to the phone. “Listen, doc– I’m sorry, you can do without me as a patient. I don’t wanna risk anything with you, and if that means you gotta let me go, then do it.”

You are silent for a moment.

You’re hopeless, and you know it.

All it took was for Bucky to be the one who was genuinely concerned for you– for him to put you first when he’s surely in a dangerous situation right now– and you’re smiling like a damn fool, wishing that you could just let him go. You don’t want to.

You know you’re appealing to a dangerous man, but you don’t care.

“It’s okay, Mr. Barnes. Our sessions can continue.” You murmur, and Bucky laughs on the other side of the phone.

“Alright, doc. I had a feeling you didn’t want to let go of our progress.” He states, and you wonder if he knows about your feelings for him.

He might just be thinking that you are entirely sophisticated about this whole thing. He doesn’t know that you’ve dreamed of him, silly domestic dreams where Bucky is the husband to your doting self, or ones where you tell him your fears and he listens, and vows to protect you, or extremely explicit dreams where he simply shuts you up with a kiss and spreads your legs. You do not know how to stop these– you feel that you have gained too much by liking him. It’s been a while since you’ve crushed on someone and felt that it could go somewhere.

At the very least, you do want to at least ensure his success as a patient of yours. You will get over this, it’s just that… you still have a sheepish smile even after Bucky has hung up the phone, and that’s not good.

You make a note not to go any further than this.

At your next session, Bucky is despondent, clearly not telling you something that bothers him. He spends most of the session rather upset and quiet.

“Doc, do you think I’m a good man?” He says it with not a hint of irony.

You fall quiet. You don’t know if a murderer will ever be considered a good man, and you don’t want to make that moral conclusion. You’re not a god.

“I don’t think that’s up to me, Mr. Barnes.” You start, and Bucky immediately pelts you with more questions.

“But you think I’m morally repugnant, right? That’s something I read on the news the other day.” Bucky scoffs at himself. “I can’t believe I thought I was better than that.”

“You can be, if you want to be. I’m not saying it forgives your past transgressions, but–” You fix your vision on him. “You have to make the choice to be a good man before you can ask others if you are.”

“And you think I have that potential?”

“...Yes. I’m not just saying this as your therapist, Mr. Barnes.” You swallow and then answer him honestly. “I believe if you want to be a better man, you have it in you to do so. You want the truth, right?”

Bucky nods, and leans closer in.

“Being a good man, a good person, can not be synonymous with being apart of the mafia. I’m somewhat apologetic about this, but–” You wince at your own fears at his reaction. “Eventually you would have to leave, not just to be a better man, but to be a healed person, both mentally and physically.”

“...” Bucky stares you down for a bit.

“Okay, doc. I hear you.” He leans back in his seat, and you let go of a breath you had no idea you were holding. “I’ll try to take your advice.”

You’re not sure how much faith you can have in him. Something about the way Bucky stares at you and leaves this time, it screams control issues again– perhaps this is the last time you’d ever see him. You brace yourself for a no-show next week, and a phone call cancelling his appointments.

It saddens you– you’ll miss him.

Unfortunately for you, Bucky shows up at your next session with a bouquet of flowers. Chrysanthemums- you’re very sure Bucky has done this because of the framed photo in your office of them. He’s being a little too thoughtful, and you’re worried.

“Mr. Barnes. You’re a little early.” You start off, and sit at your chair.

“I’ve paid for the hour, don’t worry.” He grins and then approaches you, looking at the floor, your face, and then back at your desk again. He’s clearly nervous.

“Go out with me, doc.” Bucky offers, and you shake your head, just out of principle.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“I just feel that you’re desperately searching for a way to fulfill–”

“Enough of the shrink talk! Jesus Christ.” Bucky scowls, and then fixes himself, standing upright as you back up a little. “Do you have any idea how I feel? How I think about you at every second? You’re fucking up my work, too–”

“That’s not really my fault–” You try, but Bucky shushes you, walking towards you and grasping your hands so quickly that you cannot help but look up at him again. His blue eyes are squinting, peering so desperately into your own, turning grey with how serious he is.

You’re mildly frightened, but you would be lying if you said you never saw the signs of his attraction before. How his gaze lingered on you for far too long, how he would occasionally comment on your beauty, how he would constantly compliment your intelligence… you at first thought that perhaps Mr. Barnes was bad at recognizing the difference between a woman who was into him, and a woman who simply had emotional intelligence. You could blame the way that society expects women to mother their partners for that.

But lately you had been feeling something new, something you didn’t suspect would happen. And there wasn’t anything wrong with that– therapy is a personal practice after all, you can’t blame yourself for your own feelings– but you never thought he would reciprocate so clearly, holding your hand like this. He always seemed enigmatic until now, and you wish you could change things.

Even worse, you could tell he was making progress– he was really trying to be more than what he thought of himself. He could be kind, sweet even, and it’s with some embarrassment and fondness that you find yourself looking forward to his appointments. Lately you’ve caught yourself smiling about him for no reason, even though you feel this relationship– a budding one between the two of you– could change things for the worse, and you don’t want that for him.

Bucky traces your knuckles with his thumb, and he leans in towards you, whispering very, very carefully.

“I like you. I think you’re very special in a way that cannot be found in other people. I don’t want you to be scared of me… I just want you to know that I’m interested in you.” Bucky kisses your hand, and you are drawn to a silence, unable to figure out what to say.

“Mr. Barnes–” You start, and then stop yourself. “Bucky… I don’t want to be the reason why you didn’t get better.”

“But I am better, don’t you get it? God, for a doctor, you can really be dense.” Bucky snickers and then holds your hands closer. “I like you. I think you’re wonderful. Smart, beautiful, a real challenge. I think you’re why I’m better, and not just because of therapy– Jesus, that’s fucking cheesy but it’s true– sometimes I know I can’t keep being the White Wolf, the boss of this gang, because you make me think it over, and I want to do right by you and what you’ve taught me.”

“So you’re going to remove yourself from your gang?” You ask honestly, peering up into Bucky’s eyes to see if he’s telling the truth. He looks so solemn– so sure of himself.

“I already knew that I needed to, doc. I knew it when you said that I was hurting myself by being there. Of course there are some things that I like about it–” He cuts himself off, and presses his forehead to yours, grasping your cheeks. “The gang isn’t going to survive very long, anyways. Everyone knows it can only last so long, and a lot of them are moving on into the show business.”

“I didn’t think Hollywood was so transparent on their mafia connections.” You whisper, and Bucky snickers at your response. “But what about your heart palpitations?”

“They’ve been reduced by a lot. I used your trauma response workshopping thing and it helped me.” Bucky takes on a funny little smile. “And I think the only thing fucking up my heart now is you. I used to have it figured out, you know? But I can’t continue another day being that guy. Let me take you out, please.”

Bucky’s final plea rings through you, and you can’t find it in you to reject him this time. He’s got you wrapped around his finger– and being so candid, so honest about how he felt, really every therapist’s dream– you search his eyes and it’s no surprise when Bucky leans in to kiss you.

Your eyes are wide open as he does, in shock, because you’re not expecting him to do this, and he moves– his hands wrap around your waist and he inhales as his tongue sweeps against your own, and you kiss back before you can tell yourself not to.

Bucky pulls back, breathing hard, and you feel yourself turn warm at his reaction. You watch as his face comes towards yours again– you have to pull away, too.

“What is it?” Bucky sounds a little wary.

“If we continue like this– I can’t be your therapist anymore. I can’t do both things, it would unethical and hard to separate.” You swallow, and then nod. “Promise me you won’t use me for therapy anymore, Bucky.”

“I… of course, doc. I would never expect both from you.” He sounds sorry about it, at least. “I’m not trying to use you– I really, really like you.”

He hums as he leans in for another kiss and this time you let yourself have at him– why not let yourself have a little fun, right, even if it’s in your place of work– and Bucky lifts you up easily, his mouth connecting to your jaw, and then neck, before setting you down at your desk.

“I think I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.” He shares, and you look affronted.

“Are you telling me you weren’t focused?” You push his chest, but Bucky holds your hands back.

“Of course I was focused, I just had a different subject in mind.” Bucky brushes aside a piece of your hair. “You can’t tell me I’m the first man to have fallen for you like this– I have to think that in an enclosed space like this, most guys are checking out the pretty doctor.”

“Uh… well maybe there’s been others, but–” As you say this, Bucky’s eyes narrow a little and you remember that he is kind of the jealous type. “None of them have been as forward as you. None of them asked me out.”

“Good.” Bucky leans in and kisses you again, and you’re very glad your office door is shut and locked.

Bucky lifts you again, easily, his mouth connecting with yours and then to where your collarbone just peeks out of your top, and he sits you down on his lap on the armchair where he often states his opinions and thoughts on his life. Bucky seems to be admiring you– you can’t escape his gaze as he looks at you from side to side.

“If you’re not a mob boss anymore… all I ask is if you’re serious about this. About me?” You ask, so earnestly, that Bucky has to feel some crushing regret about how he never quite told you the truth.

“I never… I never did all that stuff with girls. It was a front, you know, it is a front for a lot of gang members. They gotta show that they’re desirable.” Bucky shakes his head. “But I was more focused on, uh… cleaning up ‘stains’, talking to ‘coworkers’, you feel me? I was addicted to that violent, electric feeling. Never again, though.”

“Okay. I trust you.” You’re not sure why you believe him so strongly, but you do, and even if every red flag in your therapist knowledge is currently being raised right now (trauma bonding, love bombing, manipulation, the list goes on and on)– you think he’s being honest. You do believe based on everything Bucky has told you previously, that he doesn’t mess around with girls, and he is trying to leave behind his lifestyle. You can even see it in his latest heart analysis results, as his physician showed you recently.

You’re so grateful that you helped him in this way. That you got him to reach his fullest potential. And a little evil, selfish part of you likes that he chose you, too, as he leans in and kisses you again.

640 notes · View notes

bcolfanfic · 1 month

Note

Mollie I’m in desperate need of Curt HC’s from the young vet au!!! If you want!! Please don’t let me annoy you about it!!! <3

these are dedicated to @johnslittlespoon bc i associate curt with them <3

most importantly, he ain’t dead! this is an AU and i make the rules, yay

still from new york, still a little crazy

this is in the 21st century and post don’t ask don’t tell being abolished. but people are still people and a handful still give bucky and gale shit when they pick up on their relationship. curt is protective of them and gets into more than one yelling match and/or brawl coming to their defense

puts himself in charge of making the hype up playlists for the field and takes it super seriously. doesn’t take requests either, everyone just has to trust his judgment.

when he gets his leg blown off by a land mine and goes home he says they aren’t allowed to let anyone else make the playlists, he’ll keep doing it from the states.

but before he leaves when he’s still in the hospital in bagram he gets in his head about how he wasn’t doing anything “noble” when he got hurt and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time

bucky tells him that doesn’t mean anything- that his being here at all was noble and nothing can take that away.

curt says he doesn’t know about that, and sees bucky’s face shift.

they change the topic.

the guys are all bummed to see him go home but bucky is *crushed*. gale sits up with him the first couple nights he’s gone and rubs his back while he cries. he just really misses his buddy 💔

when curt gets back to the states he gets a service dog that’s the most spoiled dog on earth. that’s his baby and he names it some goofy human name like tony soprano.

he keeps in touch with everyone while they’re still over seas. but the first people he sees when they’re back stateside are gale and bucky- flying out to visit once they’re settled in wyoming.

he knew bucky wasn’t doing great, but actually seeing how bad he’s doing in the flesh makes his gut twist. especially when he brushes it off. especially when he can see it in gale’s eyes how worried and exhausted he is.

it comes to a head one night when bucky and gale get into argument and bucky goes from 0-100 in about 60 seconds. curt steps in to intervene, tells bucky to come outside with him and smoke to cool off.

bucky tells him to fuck off and mind his business.

“we don’t need a couples therapist, get the fuck outta’ my god damn house.”

“yeah no can do bucky. not letting you talk to gale like this, or me. get outside. now.”

but bucky is stubborn and just doesn’t move. gale looks near tears and before curt can think better of it he smacks bucky upside the head.

“look at what you’re doing to him- you think this shit is cute? when’s the last time he raised his voice at you off the cuff?”

gale tells him to stop, even if he does appreciate someone else trying to get through to him.

tells him to stop because he knows what’s coming when he sees bucky’s bottom lip shake.

bucky bursts into tears and presses his hands into his eyes- mumbling about being too fucked up for all of this as his chest heaves.

“i got my shit too man, come on, let’s go outside.”

bucky follows him this time and they sit out there for 2 hours talking about the war and the government and PTSD and the VA’s office.

which is apparently just as incompetent in new york.

but bucky can’t help but laugh at one of curt’s gripes with them being that his insurance would cover an a-typical prosthetic, not a peg leg from some guy that manufactures them in his garage upstate.

he needed that laugh.

“i put gale through too much. feel like he regrets getting a marriage certificate the second we came back. not settlin’ down with some girl. not like he’d have a hard time getting one.”

“hey- no way. he loves you. wouldn’t be so bent up seeing you hurting if he didn’t. if he wanted out- he wouldn’t be here. you’re the self destructor, all respect. not buck.”

bucky taps his cig in the ash tray on the patio table.

“when you’d get so smart?”

“gotta compensate for havin’ one less leg with something.”

#young vets au #buck x bucky #clegan #curt biddick #curtis biddick #masters of the air

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stupid-sloot-headcanons · 2 months

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Thinking about Black Mask with a Darling who does love him back but who also gets frustrated with his extreme possessiveness and overprotectiveness.

They're in another argument about it; Darling wants to go out on their own, Roman of course isn't having it. He goes off on one of his rants about how he's just trying to protect them...and Darling just snaps "like you protected Tiffany?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH

Ok so if I were being honest, this might be a situation where he might go full Tony Soprano and potentially hit his Darling as an initial reaction. Like this is a situation where he'd immediately grab them by the throat; if he manages to get some semblance of self-control, he raises his hand but then stops at the last second before hurling the nearest piece of furniture across the room.

He lost Tiffany because he was careless. Sloppy. Stupid. But now he knows how to prevent someone like the Joker from taking someone else he cares about, and he is NEVER going to make that mistake ever again. He decides that he needs to get through to them with fear and get them to see just what he's trying to protect them from; he'll gather every crime scene photo he can get from his guys at the GCPD to show Darling what Joker gets up to for fun every week.

#.dc #.black mask #yandere black mask #yandere dc #.arkhamverse #yandere arkhamverse #thots

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 2 months

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Lol how do i explain this chain of events...

there's no way i can make it brief xD So..today i was in an odd mood, feeling so sensitive that any time someone talked to me i almost flinch from how overwhelming it is. And a certain heaviness. sunday is slimbo's only day off tho so i wanted to hang out. We decided to draw, and as we were finishing setting up i suddenly remembered my stereo & how i havent used it all winter. i grabbed it from my room n put it on slimbo's bedroom floor , i was sitting next to it as we focused on drawing for a few hours n listened to CDs.

then as we were about to eat dinner slimbo suggested we watch sopranos. i was reluctant due to my mood today, and ok hear me out: Something about sopranos has like, consistently felt really psychic to me, cus i dont watch it that often but every time i do it's like. that episode will be freakishly synchronized w something happening in my life at that moment. usually in a metaphorical way. Could just be power of suggestion but ive never rly had that with a show before except for a few animes.

ANYWAYS..i agreed to watch it because i felt it to be fateful that slimbo suggested it. like Ok what message is this supposed to send me today, might as well see since i'm already in this strange mood. We sat on the ground where i was drawing and started watching. and ofc, (spoiler warning,) ofc the last ep we watched was the one where junior shoots tony, so this episode is the one where tony's dying in hospital (and having his prolonged dream sequence). Which, if you know me, you maybe know about my Core Wound, but if you dont, well, it definitely involves hospitals and death and fathers. So i'm just sitting there watching like LMAO 🙂 Ok Guess this is what's on tonight's agenda Let's Gooooo 🙂

and i can see slimbo keeps looking at me with an expression like "we can turn it off" but i was like nah im going to watch this im curious now. (i havent seen season 6 of sopranos in 6 years and its the season i have the least memory of because when i watched it i was high as fuck on opiates due to getting my appendix removed (awful experience) so it kinda feels like my first time seeing it). i keep watching and THEN. THE WEIRDEST SHIT OF MY LIFE OCCURED

the fucking scene. Where carmela's in the hospital room with tony and she receives a stereo from chris. she takes it out of the box and i'm like wait....it's only showing the back of it at first, but it looks so familiar, i look over to my right where my stereo is coincidentally sitting on the floor next to me with the back facing me. it's the same. then i see her open the cd slot. ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING STEREO SAME color SAME model SAME Everything !!!! and the part that freaked me out most is that my stereo is always just sitting on top of my tv i almost never move it even when i use it but at that moment it just happened to be sitting there on the floor RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO ME !!!

idk. it gave me kind of an adrenaline rush. it freaked me out. like that is bizarre i dont know. especially with the context of the stereo in the show and how it's there in the hospital to play music for tony as he's basically dying. hospital scenes r always like, intense for me on a cellular level. but that just kinda blew my mind. i got this stereo from a thrift store 2 years ago i had no idea it was in the show lol. IDK. i feel like there's a message here. something to do with my dad and healing and music. See im telling you like.....sopranos makes me consistently feel that God is joking around w me, its ususlly just a feeling but today it was tangible. so.... o_o

#timing

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demonscantgothere · 1 year

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Payne added: “There’s something that Milton does in Paradise Lost that we talked about a lot. Where he makes Satan a really compelling character. In some ways, he’s the first antihero where he’s compelling and you can’t take your eyes off of him. Milton did that on purpose because he wants you to fall along with Adam and Eve. He wants Satan to be so persuasive that he also seduces [the reader] and you’re unconsciously won over, so that you perceive your own fallenness and your need for redemption.” He continued: “In Tolkien, Sauron is a deceiver and we know that in Second Age he appears in ‘fair form.’ So what if he sneaks up on you and is able to get you to sympathize with him and get you to be on board with him so that once you actually realize who he is, that he’s already got his hooks in you? So it’s not just as easy as, ‘This person is evil, I’m going to back away,’ because you’ve already formed some level attachment to him. What if we could get the audience to go through a similar journey?” “Sauron can now just be Sauron,” McKay said. “Like Tony Soprano or Walter White. He’s evil, but complexly evil. We felt like if we did that in season one, he’d overshadow everything else. So the first season is like Batman Begins, and the The Dark Knight is the next movie, with Sauron maneuvering out in the open. We’re really excited. Season two has a canonical story. There may well be viewers who are like, ‘This is the story we were hoping to get in season one!’ In season two, we’re giving it to them.”

source (x)

#trop spoilers #halbrand #sauron #the rings of power #rings of power #trop #i am ready #my body is ready #season 2 can't come soon enough #you said the magic words #DOES THIS MEAN GALADRIEL GOES THRU THE SAME AS US

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slaygentford · 9 months

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your posting got me into the sopranos and i feel like my third eye is being pried open with a screwdriver, i am enthralled and would love to hear about who your favorite characters/relationships are. also does anything terrible happen to meadow bc she’s very important to me

I recently got an offline friend into it and I realized spreading it honestly is my purpose in life….. what happens to meadow in the end is as terrible as what happens to everybody else that’s all I can say. The cycles are cycling… obviously Carmela is the character of all time but there’s something about the naturalism of Janice and the way she’s played that’s really hitting me this time around (watching vicariously through friend). Doesn’t every family have a Janice? like she’s just so frighteningly real like that’s a person. But of course my first love is chwissy. Second to Tony and carm is Chrissy and his addiction because there is something so fucking gutting about commendatore and what he does in it. Like it’s so. God. I’m gonna frow up. Tony and meadow is a big one for me this time around too like you are your fathers daughter they’re always in on the joke together always. Always. But at the same time he sees her as his salvation and isn’t she???? Isn’t she him if he’d had a chance??? Isn’t she him? Isn’t that him? Aren’t you me? Parents want their kids to have more than them but then the child becomes so distant from you as a result. Everything you could’ve been looking back at you every day. I did two semesters at college so I know about Freud. The parents at Columbia thinking Tony is the janitor. You’re the only two people in the room who can say the one true thing (oh look at mister mob boss!) (you’re all me) but you’re both, in a lot of ways, humoring carmela, and so, and so. She’d be your heir if, if… she’d sit the throne, except… except what? Except she’s a girl or except you want better for her even though YOU DONT ACTUALLY THINK COLLEGE IS BETTER? the real canker in the heart of the rose to me is that Tony is only going through the motions. He doesn’t really care about college. that doesn’t really telegraph strength to him. Who would meadow be without Carmela? What would she be like if she’d sprouted from his skull like Athena from Zeus you know? But it isn’t even worth the thought experiment because there’s no Tony without Carmela anyway. I won’t tell you what happens with meadow in the finale but like. Yeah

#in a lot of ways she’s Lucrezia borgia sitting on the papal throne. in a lot of ways she’s a brat and in a lot of ways she’s the smartest #person in the room she’s the culmination of your life’s work. but most importantly #she’s a kid in New Jersey

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thesoftboiledegg · 1 year

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Plenty of shows have tried to shake off toxic fans by making their abusive male protagonist increasingly worse until he's a borderline sociopathic monster. Unfortunately, it never works. Dudebros see Walter White tormenting his wife and go "Haha yeah, take that Skyler! She's such a bitch!"

Rick and Morty does the same thing, but it's the ONLY show I've ever seen that actually managed to piss them off. Making Rick worse doesn't do anything because they want him to be shitty. That just indulges their power fantasies. What enrages him is when he's not their straight white tech bro avatar anymore.

We all saw the infamous Birdrick meltdown. Mentioning Birdrick on the Rick and Morty subreddit now is still like dropping a nuclear bomb. Even Rick's pansexuality in general is controversial. Can you imagine the Internet tantrums if an episode revealed that Tony Soprano is pansexual? Or Walter White? THAT'S what makes them nuts.

Same with Rick being autistic. I've had friends get into arguments with bros over that one. They didn't like the joke about cops being racist in "Mort Dinner Rick Andre," either. I could go on, but the general complaint is that new Rick and Morty is too "woke." Dan Harmon even joked about it on Instagram (third slide.)

I guess Breaking Bad should have had Walt make out with a bunch of guys or something.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #breaking bad

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rysko · 2 months

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stalked ur profile and noticed the fandom fave ask games, Peaky Edition?

OHOHOOHOH YESSS-

This is going to be difficult. Am i allowed more than one character per category??? (also tytyty for the ask muah muah)

(tagging @red-riding-wood because i know you love these)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Listen, if you've been on this blog for more than five seconds, this will be no surprise. It's Luca, that goddamn fruit bastard<3

The moment he lifted that hat and spoke in his tony-soprano-meets-the-godfather-esque voice I knew I'm going to be obsessed but HOLY SHIT. The brainrot, it's on another level.

And Arthur, oh Arthur...

Most tragic character in the whole show, so full of love, hate, anger, EVERYTHING. He's as entertaining as he is tear-worthy, and theres no scene with him i dislike. Baby...baby boy...

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

ARFAAAAAAA-

Again, everything i said above. I want to make him soup and hug him, then maybe hiss at Tommy (selfcare)

AND CURLY

He makes me kick my feet, and his scenes with May make me wish he had more screen time. I need him to give me a tour of Small Heath. I'd die a happy man.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

MY LOVE

MY BELOVED

ABERAMA GOLD

His death made me actually cry (i still don't see it as canon shhh), he was my favourite since he appeared in season 1 and has been my obscure love ever since (still want to write something for him, but i have so much stuff i need to write first)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Johnny Dogs!!! My dude! My man! My silly little horny guy!

I want a compilation of him. I want to drink some booze with him and for him to tell me shitty life advice that I would NEVER actually implement.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

DOES NOT DESERVE THE SHIT SHE GOT.

Y'all cannot handle nuanced/flawed female characters and it shows. Linda has my heart. I love hypocritical Catholics, we are not the same.

Live, laugh, love Linda <3

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Tommy.

This man. He deserves nothing more. I love him, but i also want to see him suffer. That's Tommy Shelby, i want him covered in his own blood, in a mental breakdown, screaming, crying, throwing up.

Im mentally sane btw.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

We don't like nazis in this house, not only am i sending him to superhell, I'm shooting him first and throwing salt over where the body was. I LOVE his actor to death, but my 1. History obsessed 2. Polish ass has always had a personal vendetta against pre-war western fashos

*spits*

#rys-talks #peaky blinders #arthur shelby #luca changretta #oswald mosley #tommy shelby #linda shelby #Johnny Dogs #Curly Peaky Blinders #Aberama Gold

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visenyaism · 11 months

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really hope u enter ur blogging about sopranos era bc i happened to start it like 2 days before u and i need to know if u have thoughts on chrissy + gender. and also him becoming self-aware he's a tv character literally 5 minutes into the show

as someone who has seen the pilot twice and nothing else: to me chrissy’s battle is the generational angst in hypermasculine patriarchial societies where old men worry that the next generation of men is too “soft,” unwilling/unable to participate in the casual violence that defines masculinity in these societies but indulging in the rewards other people enacting this violence brings.

He’s explicitly introduced with Tony’s comments on the weakness of future generations and characterized by the indulgence of buying a $60,000 Lexus and taking care of his physical health by taking time off when he was sick (which Tony Soprano derides even though not taking care of himself caused him to collapse publicly twice.) Tony’s generational angst gets confirmed when Chrissy can’t successfully carry out the hit on the gambler after getting kicked in the dick which makes Tony have to drive his car for him to finish the job. In terms of Freudian politics this is like a neon sign lmao. It’s this emasculation that leads Chrissy to resolve the tension with the Czech mob by shooting Emil point blank in the head, which fucks up the whole thing because the violence wasn’t actually a targeted plan to resolve the business issue, it was about proving that he was a real man.

But we go one generation up to Tony and we see that his anxiety about the next generation is rooted in his own insecurity that he isn’t a real man either, but the people he’s idolizing are all complete abstractions: his dead sainted father, the story of the noble stonemasons who came from the fabled old country and built the church, and notably, his obsession with the Godfather movies. They’re all terrified of degeneration from a completely made-up nostalgia. Tony‘s mind and body are destroying themselves out of the physiological pressure to be a kind of man that only exists in a story.

Which brings us back to Chrissy trying to go Hollywood at the end of the pilot: like Tony, he also wants to be a character from a mobster movie, and he literally wants to PLAY HIMSELF!!!!! We can see that layer of depersonalization is both a way to protect yourself from the reality of living such a violent lifestyle (it’s not real!!! it’s a movie!!! you’re just playing a part the violence can’t make you worse because it’s just a part you’re playing!!) but it’s also what is destroying these people (it’s not real!!! it can NEVER be you!!!). The thesis statement about masculinity as a performance all coming together across generational angst is so interesting to me!!!!

Best show ever would love to watch the second episode sometime👍

#the sopranos #LOVE his genre awareness #bro they’re trying to go back to the nation it’s so over

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bratshaws · 1 year

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through the hourglass 86. brb x oc

a/n: still unsure about a lot but im a bit better than before. hope you guys like the chapter!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva

After dissolving the shock of Evelyn’s news - and of course accepting when she asked Beatrice to be her bridesmaid -their Halloween was pretty uneventful. Beatrice had a lot of fun, there were so many kids in their neighborhood that she just stood by the door as Rooster kept holding Nicole, smiling at his wife’s pure excitement.

He was glad they had a good day. He was glad he could go to work the very next day without worrying about Beatrice too much, he was glad that they had a wonderful night and the pep on his step was enough to make people look his way.

He was just happy that they were on a fresh new stage in life.

“Sir!”

Rooster furrows his brows, hearing quick steps approaching him from behind, which makes him stop and turn to look at who it was. Faraday skids into a halt, the rubber soles of his boots squeaking on the floor as he salutes the higher ranking officer, “Sir! Good morning,sir!”

“Good morning,Faraday.”

Faraday smiles briefly as if he couldn’t believe that Rooster knew his name, “How is your day going,sir?”

Rooster blinks at him, “Fine.” then arches his brow, “How’s yours?”

“Good! Good!”

He doesn’t know why the young recruit stays there, looking at him still. It’s a bit uncomfortable. Rooster props his hands on his hips, furrowing his brows, “Anything I can help you with,Faraday?” he questions, “Because we both have things to do today,don’t we?”

“OH! Um, yes sir. I have a question.”

“Alright.” he waits for him to say something but Faraday is just staring…so Rooster sighs, “Permission to speak is granted, go on.”

Faraday’s smile widened and he nodded, his arms behind his back, “Is it true you and Captain Mitchell took down three birds in an old girl?” Faraday had a voice that made him sound like he was a radio host from the 1950s, he didn’t know if it was the slicked back hairstyle or the obvious New York accent - like a light version of Tony Soprano - but hearing those words coming out of the young recruit were actually funny.

Rooster chuckled, “Yeah. It is true.” he thought he already knew that, in fact he thought him and his friends knew that, he had no idea why he was asking that but the way Faraday was looking at him it was like he had just told him the lottery numbers. “Why?”

“That’s…so cool sir.” he mutters, “We all heard about it, you know? When it happened, and-and we all had a blast figuring out how everything happened! It’s…so cool. Really.”

Rooster just arches his brow higher with an amused smirk, chuckling quietly, “Well,glad to give you guys something to talk about,” he turns on his heel, “Take care, Faraday-” but the younger recruit rushes up to stand in front of him, flushed and still nervous.

“S-Sir,do you think that…one day…we’ll be able to meet Captain Mitchell?” he asks, “Me and the guys I mean. We know he’s your uncle and–”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Now that made Faraday’s eyes widen and smile broaden. There’s a quiet ‘yes!” coming from behind him and Rooster turns his torso to see the other two recruits barely hiding behind a wall. He blinks, then slowly lifts his hand on a greeting which the other young men clearly weren’t expecting by the way they just looked at each other and silently disappeared from Rooster’s view. “Anything else?”

“Anything else- oh! How’s the ma’am and the little miss?” he asks and Rooster just looks so confusedly elated by the question that it takes a while for him to reply, “Are they okay?”

“They are fine,Faraday. Both of them are fine.” he smiles, thankfully so at the young recruit, “Thanks for asking,though. I really appreciate that.” and he did, he loved talking about his girls and knowing that the younger recruits wanted to know about them was really nice.

“Psst! Faraday!” he hears McAllister’s voice, the two of them turning to where he could see the young pilot cupping his mouth “Ask him if we can gift them something!” and he hid himself again…were they trying to be…quiet? But Rooster could hear everything-

“Oooh, right! Yeah, can we gift them something?”

Rooster looked between Faraday and the area where the other two were hiding for a few seconds, chuckling in disbelief, shrugging with a smile, “I–yeah, sure. Why not? I don’t mind it.”

“Nice!” Faraday even fist pumps, “Does the little miss have any allergies? Or anything?”

Little Miss, oh he had to tell Beatrice that one, “No, she doesn’t. But she is five months old, so stuffed animals aren’t really a good idea.” he was surprised how focused Faraday looked, cupping his chin in thought, nodding as he hears his every word. It was…strange but not that strange, it could be much worse, “And my wife likes pretty much anything, especially arts related stuff.”

“I told you!”

“SSh!”

Rooster’s brow just flicked alongside his eyes to the sound of the other men’s voices, Faraday even pulled out his phone to type something in his notes, murmuring to himself, “Anything else?”

“Would you like something,sir?”

“Nah,I’m fine. Get my girls something nice.” he is surprised at how excited the new recruits are, he didn’t know why - maybe they just missed their own families, he knew one of them had a child…he had no idea which one though because he never asked. “Anyway,I gotta go now. See you guys around,” he turns to where the other two were hiding “All of you.”

“Bye,sir!”

Rooster rolls his eyes with a chuckle, turning on his heel as he walks away from them. He was glad someone else was having that much fun, he didn’t mind as long as it was harmless…and those boys were pretty harmless.

He looks down at his phone to check if Bea sent him a message, which she did, entering his office and locking the door behind him. There was a picture of her and Nicole, their baby daughter was lying on her stomach on top of the baby mat, Eleanor and Jack on either side of her with the white dog closer to the baby, her pink snout almost touching Nicole’s leg.

She’s smiling at the camera, some toys are close to her and he could see Beatrice’s legs curled away from the picture with Jolene’s head on top.

Bea (12:33)

She’s very happy today :) ! I think she enjoyed Halloween more than we thought.

Bea (12:33)

Oh,also, can I call you? There’s something I wanna tell you,Roos.

As if she even had to ask. He just typed yes and sat down on his chair, sighing and letting the leather deflate under his weight as he waited for Beatrice’s call. And she waits less than a minute, “Hey,gorgeous.” he smiles, turning his chair left and right with one of his legs, “Glad to hear from you on this fine morning.”

“Oh,shush, you.” she giggles on the other end, her feet touching the ground as she walks around the house “How is your day going,Roos?”

"Good, pretty good.” he smiles, “Remembering stuff that happened this weekend has been a good distraction.” Her pause from the other end was the only way he was sure she was blushing, followed by her quiet embarrassed chuckle and since he couldn’t get enough of her, he ended up chuckling to himself, “What do you want to talk about my gorgeous,gorgeous wife?”

“Stop, oh my god you are so awful.” his smirk only widens, “...anyway, I just wanted to share something with you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s something…um…well! You know how I had my reunion a few years ago?”

“Yes…?”

“Well…Hannah messaged me asking if I was going to the reunion barbecue they are going to have…and um…well,I said I didn’t know because I didn’t know they’d even do that.” he could hear her fiddling with something on the other end,maybe a glass of water “I mean why have another reunion? Was the other one that bad?”

Both of them said ‘probably’ and ended up laughing at their synchronization, “Well,do you wanna go?”

“I don’t know. It is in a nice place, nicely decorated…we can bring guests.” she messes with something else on the other end, “So…spouses.”

Rooster runs his hand through his hair, combing some of the sandy brown tresses back as he hears her. He’d go with her if she wanted to go, “Can we bring Nikki?”

“I don’t know, there will be...alcohol there.”

“When is it going to happen?”

“November. Like…middle of November.”

Rooster runs his fingers over his mustache, then holds his head up by the same hand, arching his brows, “Well…I don’t mind going with you if you want to go.” he says, “We can leave Nikki with your parents and if I’m not deployed I’m sure we can go, gorgeous.”

Beatrice was silent for a bit, sipping her water and walking back to where Nikki was - he smiled hearing their daughter babble happily to the dogs who undoubtedly were paying attention to her every word - “The last time I went…it wasn’t so bad. Me and Hannah talked a lot but…Eric showed up.” she hears his sharp inhale “It doesn’t mean he will again,Roos. Especially now.”

“Well,” he chuckles, rubbing his forehead, “Another reason for me to show up, don’t you think…by the way why did they want to do this again?”

“I asked Hannah and she has no idea either. She thinks…well…hm, she assumes it was because not everyone could join the last reunion or they all left early.”

“Sounds like a party.”

“It wasn’t that great. I think there’s also…um…the girl…I forgot her name not but she organized everything so perfectly that I think people got uncomfortable.”

Rooster swings on his chair for a little bit more, digging his boot’s heel on the floor to give him some leverage as he moves, the squeak of metal following every movement, “Understandable. Hey,I mean,” he shrugs even if she couldn’t see it, “If you decide to go,we’ll go.”

“Really?”

“Gorgeous,I’d do anything for you.” he smiles at her soft and quiet ‘aw’ “And if you want to do that, really want to do it I’m all for it.”

‘Okay…it’s just…sometimes I feel we do a lot of what I like and not what you like.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I-I don’t know,it’s just…well,we…we go out to do things I enjoy but very seldom we do things you like and- I-I don’t know,it’s something I thought about.”

Maybe it was the one thing that brought this conversation on so suddenly and she had no idea how to start without fumbling over her words. Rooster felt his chest flutter because how can someone like Beatrice be real? He is married to her and dated her and yet he still couldn’t grasp how thoughtful and kind she could be. With a hand on his face, his own cheeks flushing because of her, he just sinks on his seat a little bit more, “Gorgeous.” he begins, “I swear,I’ll figure out a way to kiss you through the phone.”

“...oh. Um…”

‘God,Bea…I love doing things with you.”

“Really?”

“Baby,yes,yes absolutely! I love going out with you and enjoying what you enjoy. Don’t think you are ‘forcing’ me to do things I don’t enjoy. Hell,baby I used to not go out at all or if I did it was with the guys and I’d go home quickly…I love being with you.”

“I love being with you too.”

“So if you wanna go to this barbecue thing,we can go. We’ll have as much fun as we can and we’ll have a good time…because I like being with you.” he hears her shy giggle and almost feels her blush through the phone.

“Okay…um…but,we can do something with you, next time.”

“Oh?”

“Well,I know you like fishing.” she begins “And camping…and so do I so! Maybe- well I looked some stuff up and apparently camping with a five months old baby can be fun! A-And Nikki will have a core memory…that she might not even remember when she’s older but, you know what I mean!”

Ah…he loved her.

Rooster just melted in his seat, slapping a hand over his heart and making a pained face - still smiling - “Gorgeous,I’d love that. You know I would…we promised to do that,didn’t we?”

“We did. You said it made you fall even more in love with me.”

“And that statement remains true.”

“I know…well…then I can tell Hannah we are going?”

“Sure thing, gorgeous. It’ll be interesting, plus we might need a better celebration.” he mumbles, still swinging back and forth, “I know you’d like that too.”

He had no idea what to expect from this…barbecue reunion thing but she sounded excited about it. And they could go camping after, that’d be more than fine to him too.

‘Oh, Roos.”

“Yes,baby?”

She pauses on the other end, “So…if you aren’t deployed in December…I was thinking we could…spend Christmas in Virginia.” she whispers it, almost fearful, “I…well, it’s because…wouldn’t it be important for Nikki to know some of her family’s history? We can take her to meet your parents.”

And Rooster was silent, silent and feeling so much all at once. He straightens himself, then leans over the desk to keep his head up as he takes in what she said. He didn’t deserve her, there was no way he deserved her because of course she’d suggest something like this. It took some time for him to gather enough composure and manage a response, even wiping his eyes a bit when he felt the sting coming from behind his irises, “Fuck.”

“You okay?”

“Fuck,I…I’m great.” he sniffles, shaking his head with a smile, “God,Bea…I love you so much,gorgeous. Do you have any idea how much?”

“I think it’s the same amount I love you.” and she’s smiling as she says it “Do you like the idea?”

“I love the idea. Hell yeah, let’s go there. Spend Christmas and New Years maybe?”

At his sweet suggestion all that Beatrice could do was laugh softly “I don’t see why not. Maybe we can choose that cabin from before, or something similar because we’ll take Nikki and the dogs with us.”

“I can do that…God Bea…thank you.” he whispers, “Thank you for suggesting it and I–” he looks down at his watch with a groan “...gotta go. Fuck, gorgeous I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Roos. Just be safe okay? Have a good day, I hope you get wonderful news today! I love you,so so so much!” Nicole babbles in the background “So does Nikki!”

He chuckles, holding his head up with his free hand, “I love you too, both of you…bye gorgeous.”

“Bye,Roos.”

As she ends the call he just drops the phone and cups his face with his hands, a dreamy smile on his face, “...I might just ask her to marry me again.”

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