stupid-sloot-headcanons

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Bastion's more than just an easter egg in Forge's photographs

He's holding Magneto hostage and recreating scenes from Reservoir Dogs and loving every second of it

Xavier is coming back to Earth

Bastion's working with Mister Sinister, master geneticist and lover of unholy and powerful abominations

WE'RE GETTING ONSLAUGHT, LADS

#i still really want a faithful adaptation of God Loves Man Kills but fuck it this is still good! #sloot watches #.x men #x men 97 spoilers #x men 97 episode 7 #also i would prefer if Remy stayed dead. im so sick of status quo reversions and that would make 3 death turnarounds #Xavier. Now Magneto. If they bring Remy back via time travel shenanigans it would just nullify a lot of the power in Rogue's grief #Like at least with Madelyne being brought back im fine bc the Phoenix is just a Get Out of Permadeath card for her and Jean

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The schadenfreude in me is so strong that I want to make a list of people whose death announcement will mean I open the ask box for a few requests in celebration

#Elon Musk+any member of the Bush dynasty+Andy Dick are at the top of the list #im next level petty and i will not change ty #.sillyshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

It occurred to me that Amai Mask is potentially a virgin. He definitely didn't have sex as Beaut, and I imagine that he's so guarded that he wouldn't fuck someone because of everything that could go wrong: the papparazzi could take pictures of him and ruin his image as THE #1 idol, his mask could accidentally revert back to his real face, and most importantly he just doesn't trust anyone enough to do that until he gets his Darling.

I think he'd be able to thread the PR needle of revealing he's with someone despite the risk of disappointing his fans who like the fantasy of him being eternally single/available as an idol. Still, that challenge in the media is wayyy easier than actually being intimate with Darling. His ego also refuses to accept that he could be bad at sex when he looks this handsome and gorgeous, so he would either refuse to admit he's never had sex or he would constantly work on getting better and better at it with Darling. It's another skill for him to develop, like he did with singing, dancing, acting, and fighting. And like those other things, it's a form of expression he never would have imagined himself doing when he was just a monstrously ugly nobody--especially with someone who knows his real self.

He's a lot like Tomura where he has a Horrifically Selfish Yandere phase and a More Sympathetic and Caring Yandere phase. He goes from just using Darling to developing a possessive affection for them, to realizing he took the one person he could see himself being in love with and absolutely ruining their life, but he refuses to let them go. And like Tomura, he can be terrifying and a real monster sometimes while also being so clingy and vulnerable other times. I have this image in my head of him fucking Darling one night, and after he cums he just leans into them and is silently rubbing their skin absentmindedly. And when they try to get up or turn over, he just pulls them back and his voice sounds so pleading while he's half asleep.

"Don't. Don't leave..."

#thots #tw: dubcon #.amai mask #yandere amai mask #.opm #yandere opm #.myshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Twilight is still bad but like every other bit of wish-fulfillment media aimed at women, the majority of dudes who made/make fun of it would be praising it if the character genders were reversed. I mean lbr if "two supernatural sexy women in a love triangle over a bland male MC that is intentionally a blank slate for the audience to self-insert as" was a manga, it'd get an anime immediately and average it'd be praised by the same crowd that likes Rent a Girlfriend

#.sillyshit #sloot bitches about things #that same crowd should be put in a gravel pit but i digress

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

I'm not a foot person either but these tags had me cackling

Imagine if there's a "claiming" ceremony for demons that want to join their partners, similar to a wedding in Devildom terms but obviously no mention of holy matrimony. And since they're demons, the ritual allows for multiple demons to claim the same partner and publicly "claim" her

Traditionally in cases like this, the most powerful suitor goes first while others follow in whatever order they like and in whatever combinations they want. So for MC, who's loved by the 7 brothers, the ruler of the Devildom, AND his attendant, it's..quite an event.

Solomon manages to exploit a loophole to attend with Simeon, stating that it doesn't explicitly forbid non-demons from attending or participating: the claiming is between beings "imbued with magic in a contract of body and soul", and as he and Simeon are both imbued with magic...they can claim MC as well.

The only ones allowed to watch are the others involved in claiming the same partner, and as sinful as Simeon finds this, he loves MC and wants to have a part of his soul tied to her/her soul tied to his.

Needless to say, it's rare to have this many partners claiming the same person, so the ceremony takes longer than usual and requires a lot of preparation for poor Darling.

Diavolo enjoys a lot of privileges as the prince of the Devildom, but being the first to claim Darling is definitely his favorite. He's glad he doesn't have to hide his hard-on when Darling takes the chalice of succubus magic-infused Demonus and sees her start to rub her thighs together and cling to him. Barbatos, as his loyal attendant, is more than happy to help undress Darling and warm them up with his hands and tongue.

Some of the brothers are clamoring for their turn already and grumbling about it isn't fair that Diavolo gets to go first, but Lucifer quickly shushes them. It's an honor to share this bond with Diavolo and MC, and so is watching them. And he reminds them that Diavolo is the first to ENTER Darling; once that happens, the others are free to join in.

Once Darling's slick is coating Diavolo and Barbatos's fingers and tongue, the prince of the Devildom eagerly spreads her legs apart and sees the rest of the suitors watching with anticipation: ones like Asmo, Beel, and Belphie are shamelessly touching themselves and fucking their hands, Satan, Lucifer, Solomon, and Simeon are more subtly rubbing their cocks and preparing to disrobe, and Levi and Mammon are flustered and struggling to fight the urge to run up and fuck Darling without permission. When Diavolo finally eases himself inside of Darling, all hell breaks loose.

Asmo's happy to watch and touch himself while the others go at it, and the first ones to join Diavolo are Lucifer, Satan, and Barbatos (who took advantage of being the closest in proximity to Diavolo and Darling, the cheeky bastard). The rest are rutting against every bit of Darling's soft skin, leaving precum all over her thighs, stomach, arms, even her hair if it's long enough. Asmo advises Darling as he strokes himself in how to take everyone without too much trouble: "Theeere you go, ____-chan. See? One of us in each hand, Diavolo in your gorgeous lil' pussy, and another person enjoying your mouth. Now remember, if we all want to be inside her we'll probably need to use more Demonus to get her stamina back up and keep it from hurting...poor thing, she's in for a long night~"

And he's right. The entire royal hall soon smells of sweat, sex, and Demonus, and thanks to the magic fueling them all it lasts for hours with all of them (Darling included) begging for more. When the ceremony ends, all of them collapse and Darling is filled to the brim and covered with the markings and "essence" of the beings who've claimed her as theirs.

#.obey me #.sillyshit #.mammon #hes honestly just obsessed with body worship. like he wants to be spoiled and pampered too but he wants to caress and kiss and make #every inch of MC feel good

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Ok hear me out on this

One piece men reacting to their darling having a wet dream

Like waking up to there darling like shaking in their sleep and thinking they are having a nightmare but them they hear them moan.....????!!!?

Oooo that's good shit. Like they go to comfort them but that moan instantly turns THEM on too

The scummy ones like Croc or Doffy would definitely lend a hand (or tongue, or dick lol) to help Darling enjoy their dream. The kinder ones like Sanji or Katakuri would probably struggle with wanting to make Darling feel good, but also not wanting to do it while they're asleep

#yandere #tw: dubcon #.one piece #yandere one piece #thots

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Could you please do yandere mha characters any of your choice on if they would baby trap there darling? Please

Sorry but

#shit's closed

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Are th e requests really open? Is my phone lying to me about them being closed? Well worth a trie. What would yandere shizuo and izaya do with a drunk darling who has been secretly pining for them but starts acting very affectionately in their drunken state.

Requests aren't currently open, I'm just answering asks received from when they were open previously. Sorry for any confusion!

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Djdhxhkkxkxy Do my eyes deceive me? Are requests open? How would yandere Shizuo, Izaya, and Jason Todd treat a scared unwilling virgin darling?

Have a nice day Sloot!!!!

Enjoy below the cut!

Shizuo wouldn't force anything sexual on them until they're ready; if he initiates anything he'll stop if they move away or even if they freeze up, just because he's very aware of how much stronger he is than them. If he does get turned on, he's more likely to just turn over in bed and rub one out.

He would also try his best out of these 3 to give them space, with his only yandere tendencies being him pining over Darling from afar and beating the shit out of anyone that gives them trouble. He doesn't want to be a monster and kidnap them or anything, so he just watches over them in his spare time. If he gets caught, he apologizes and says he just wanted to make sure they were okay on their walk home. Ikebukuro's a dangerous place and a person like them is an easy mark.

If they're targeted by Izaya or other dangerous people in Ikebukuro (and let's be honest, once people realize Shizuo is with them all the time, they become a target), THEN he'll take matters into his hands and take Darling somewhere safe like his apartment until the people after Darling are dealt with. And he never really feels like they're truly safe, so he doesn't want them to move back to their own apartment. He'll find a way to pay for their rent, so they don't have to worry about it. What matters is that he's keeping them safe.

He wishes they'd reciprocate, but he won't force them to love him. He has a bit of self-loathing because he knows he's got something wrong with him to think this way (obsessing like this over Darling, his anger issues, etc). If they ever do show a bit of affection towards him or even just stop being as afraid of him, he's so happy.

Izaya's easily the most selfish and the least regretful about what he's doing. Humans are interesting, even ones like Darling who live mundane lives and are so timid. If we're stretching the whole "wanting to reach Valhalla and being a gigantic parallel to Loki" concept, then Darling is...hm, a little too meek to be Angrboda. Izaya thinks Sigyn would fit her best. But instead of holding a bowl to keep snake venom from dripping onto his face while bound to a rock, Darling can cure his boredom for a little while.

Sigyn's not really well known outside of that legend of her dutifully tending to Loki while he's being imprisoned on that rock, and like her, Izaya wants to know about the secrets and hidden aspects of Darling. Mikado was and still is a timid boy, but he's capable of holding a lot of power and being more cunning than he initially looks. What about Darling? How will she fit on his game boards? What schemes can he rope her into?

Of these 3, Izaya has the lowest sex drive imo. The idea of seducing Darling as a game or fun method to alleviate his boredom and have a special piece of their mind/body does sound interesting...but it's got to be through manipulation. Just holding them down and using force is too quick, there's no point or interest in it--but manipulating his skittish little Darling, turning them into his Sigyn and keeping them as his special human? That's more fun.

He teases them all the time and does just enough to make them feel conflicted, a little nervous or afraid but also a little curious. Lots of touching them playfully, stealing a kiss, being a little too close when talking to them, leaving presents for them. And of course, he's tracking their online presence, putting hidden cameras and bugs in their apartment, etc. He watches them on one monitor while he works and treats it like a screensaver or an idle hobby.

Jason would snatch them up way quicker than Shizuo. Gotham is a dangerous place. Hell, it's THE dangerous place, and someone like Darling needs to be protected from being hurt/kidnapped/taken advantage of. Unlike Shizuo though, he would struggle a lot more with respecting their boundaries. He would try but he's also so obsessed and clingy and touch-starved that he wants, NEEDS to be close with them. Typically this is just forced cuddling, but sometimes he'll touch them or rut against them during it and insist that's as far as he'll go. It's still not fair to Darling though

He hates himself like Shizuo does for violating Darling's boundaries like that and still doing it despite knowing it's wrong. He's so warped and broken that he can't even love someone without ruining it and making them miserable and afraid. He apologizes to Darling whenever he scares them or whenever he raises his voice without meaning to. All it takes is them flinching and he immediately lowers his voice and tries to comfort them.

He won't take their virginity unless they say they want that and/or act on it themselves, just because he wants it to be special for them. He WILL give them oral whenever he's clingy or just needs to let out how much he needs them and wants to make them feel good.

#tw: dubcon #tw: noncon #.drrr #.izaya #.shizuo #.jason todd #.arkhamverse #.dc #.arkham knight #.red hood #yandere drrr #yandere izaya #yandere shizuo #yandere jason todd #yandere arkhamverse #yandere dc #yandere arkham knight #yandere red hood #.myshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Sometimes I look at the shit I've said on here and want to put them in a curated collection or a line of t shirts

#.sillyshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

helpme

#i write creepy porn as a hobby. i say this 100% hypocritically; if i saw this dedication in a book im throwing it and myself of a cliff

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

God. What a time to be alive and exist on the same timeline as finally having yandere tai lung. You are doing the lord's work. Thanks for always cooking up the best food sloot! Your characterization always slaps 💯

Daww ty!

#sweetness

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Amai Mask legit stresses himself out thinking of ways to do right by his fans and showing how much he appreciates them, so I imagine that once he starts to develop genuine feelings for Darling outside of obsession and possessiveness and narcissistic anger, he'd also keep himself up thinking of ways to appreciate them. Obviously he can't let them go free lol, that's just silly. He needs them and they should need him too.

Still, he'll want to give them thoughtful gifts amidst all the designer clothes and skincare products he gives them. He'll put more time into his schedule for donning disguises to go out with them more (he's primarily worried about his fans' reaction to him having a partner, but eventually he wants to reveal his Darling once he knows they won't try to run off or blab about the real nature of their relationship). He'll give them more alone time even when it kills him inside because he wants access to them and what he wants should matter more.

He also finds it therapeutic to do their makeup or do a whole hair and skincare routine FOR them. Obviously they don't know what they're doing, or else they wouldn't look like they were in dire need of some vitamin E oil and a hair mask. He's low-key amazed that they were confident enough to go out without wearing makeup every day before he kidnapped them. He's already using them as stress relief so treating them like a living doll isn't much of a stretch.

He also gets clingy when they're alone together: always wanting his hands on them, always putting one arm around them in bed, always pouting a little on the inside if they're paying attention to something besides him.

#.amai mask #.opm #yandere opm #yandere amai mask #thots #.myshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

I think the most racist in jjk are the higher ups of sorcerers and the most obnoxious and stuck up members of other 2 Clans (like Naoya) 🤔

Oh don't even talk to me about Naoya, I cannot and will not ever see the appeal of that dude. I call him a male the way misogynists call women "females". You can smell the racism coming off of him and he's canonically sexist, and his hair color/style is ugly. Wouldn't even hatefuck/10

Smth about his face just makes me so irrationally angry, and not just because I'm a ball busting harpy with a hysterical wandering uterus despite what he may say to the contrary

#.sillyshit #.jjk #.naoya #id get banned from twitter if he were real and had an account

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

(Sending twice, bc my internet is shit) I was that one Slavic anon, that send a few foreign Darlings and Gojo thots back then and now recently in manga confirms that he is probably having low key racist or stereotypical thinking about foreigners, so if he met me will he say some shit about Kuril Islands dispute, or not smiling at all or other things 🥲😭😬

Tbh there's a reason the Japanese word for micro aggression is directly borrowed from English lol, sometimes the stereotypes and passive racism or xenophobia just kinda comes out and you're like "Oh! Okay!"

Though much like Gojo, it just takes one comment from someone going "dude that was actually an offensive thing to say, even if you meant it positively" and they apologize. And it's not like every Japanese person is like that

One of the lessons we teach at the start of the year is greetings around the world, and some of the students were laughing at how "silly" some of the languages and gestures/greetings looked. And their homeroom teacher had said in Japanese "I know it looks different and funny to you, but please don't act this way. It can hurt a foreigner's feelings to have their culture and language laughed at; how would you feel if someone laughed at you for saying こんにちは and bowing even though it's normal for us?"

For a character like Gojo I think he'd just need to be hit with the "You're being low-key offensive right now" stick and he'll try to apologize.

#that panel legit made me go out loud [PHRENOLOGY??? FROM GOJO???] #.sillyshit #.jjk

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

Kenpachi: What the hell is that?

Me, holding Hanataro Yamada over my shoulder: It's a baby I found in Squad 4's barracks.

Kenpachi: ...Well put it back, it doesn't belong to you.

#.bleach #f/o #every time he does anything im like Pearl at Steven's play. 'HIIII Hanataro! youre SO talented' #Hiii Hanataro! youre SO talented! #.sillyshit

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

All Might loves playing with his kid, but he's also afraid of scaring them if he spits up blood in front of them. He's also spontaneously gone into his Hero form if they fall down even if there's no actual risk of them hurting themselves that badly. They'll stumble and fall off the couch on their butt and BOOM--daddy's there with giant muscles to scoop them up.

Spinner's kid might have some of his Quirk's traits so he's prepared to deal with them crawling on walls or the ceiling, biting their long tongue on accident when they start teething, and anything else he dealt with growing up. They seem to really like how his scales feel and they're always rubbing them and giggling. He's a good dad despite his anxiety about raising them as a Villain.

Dabi's very chill except for how he's definitely influencing his kid to hate Endeavor and Heroes, and since he never had to take care of his younger siblings he doesn't really know how babies...work. Like the first time they flip over on their own he just goes "Holy shit, look. Are we supposed to give her a treat or something when she does that?" He'll basically dump the kid on Darling and Kurogiri for the actual day to day caring for them most of the time, but he'll occasionally feed them or do other shit himself if he feels like it (or if he's baited into doing it)

"Pshht, this is what you complain about doing all day? How hard is it to give a baby milk--no, it's right here. Here, you fuckin' goober. Put your mouth around the nipple thing. Wait why are you squirming around, it's gonna come out of your mouth if you--Yeah, no shit you're upset, you just knocked the bottle out of your mouth...babe how do I get her to do it right?"

Twice is the best father despite his fear and anxiety about traumatizing or scaring his kid whenever he splits. He uses his Quirk but worries about his baby not being able to recognize their real original Daddy sometimes, so he doesn't ever keep a clone around for too long. He refuses to smoke around his kid and will have to steer them away from the patio if they toddle out there while he's smoking. He also tells them that smoking is VERY bad, and he switches to nicotine patches at home and only smokes when he's not with them from then on. He does a lot of research about caring for babies and loooves being with his family. Everyone in the League gets shown dozens of pictures and videos of Twice's kid every single day and he cries at every little milestone. Like he's bawling from happiness when they get their first tooth or when they say a word for the first time

One of my classes has me thinking about yanderes interacting with their babies

Deku's so eager and loves watching his little munchkin exploring and playing with absolutely everything, all dressed up in daddy's old All Might pajamas. He's got the whole house baby-proofed AND escape-proofed for his Darling's sake, and he's a little too cautious; his baby gets within a few inches of a table or somewhere with a hard corned and he immediately dives to grab them like he's taking a fucking bullet lol

Tomura...doesn't know how he should talk to his kid. They're at that age where they're just babbling and mimicking conversation while learning to communicate, and they just follow him around everywhere. Tomura doesn't really do baby talk that often and instead just talks to his kid like a normal person...and also says some dark shit that thankfully his kid can't understand fully lol.

Tomura, playing vidya with his kid in his lap: I got the first game in this series right after I took your Mommy home. I think I still have it, but I don't like playing it. Every time I tried to, I'd just think about all the...things...I did to her. Before I started to treat her better.

Baby: Ahbab. Juhhwugadoo.

Tomura: You can play it when you're older, if you want. I'm not sure if I'll be around by then but if I am, I'll show you how to do the best combo with my favorite character. You have to be really good at plinking for it to work but I'll help you get the timing right.

Baby, nodding: Tama rye.

Hawks is super affectionate and his birdbrain means he's constantly ruffling their hair and "grooming them" even if they don't have feathers. He loves playing with his kid and does his best to not fight or get upset around them so they don't have to see that ugly side of him yet. He wants them to have a caring loving dad like he never got to have. He also loves playing peek-a-boo using his wings and his idea of heaven would be spending all day in bed cuddling his Darling and their little chickadee.

Stain also has no idea how to talk to his kid. I mean...he's not exactly a very warm kid-friendly guy. He's very solemn and stoic even when he's happy or affectionate. A lot of his affection and interaction is nonverbal, and he also talks to his baby without a cutesy voice. It's very Lone Wolf and Cub-esque, even if Stain is way more overprotective. His baby will grab his finger and stare up at him, they'll have a moment of eye contact and deep understanding.

His baby also stared at his nose a lot and tends to cover their own with their hand. Stain, in a rare moment of humor, once tried playing "got your nose" with them; but they got a little distressed when (after he gave THEM their nose back) they couldn't give Papa his nose back when it was their turn.

#.bnha #.tomura #.deku #.hawks #yandere bnha #.myshit #.stain #.izuku #.dabi #.twice #.spinner #.all might