pinkmoondoll9shihtzu

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

#m

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

#frossworld

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

being alone during the day feels sad and scary but being alone at night is heaven

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

essenece

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

#frossworld

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

fortress

#frossworld

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

pinkmoonmutual i think i have come to u about my adoring fixations on older men before. I woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with this guy I really like and it was so wonderful and perfect and exactly what I want from him....a very nice dream to have, and it fits into what ive been working on recently which is human relationships and figuring out what I want and how to have it... its difficult for me because I love people SO MUCH often after a very short amount of time, this is especially true of older people because I crave sibling affection I didn't get growing up but it happens with people my own age too. and ah idk I'm never sure how to express it to people because love and intensity are things most people only want and expect from romantic attraction. and I'm not opposed to that but especially with older men this becomes difficult because the people I love are not interested in dating people 10 years younger than them and really it would be inappropriate (this guy was my professor! not gonna happen!) and i just end up feeling really creepy and weird and not knowing what to do with this huge adoration and affection inside me. so tricky I really wish you could just be /in love/ with someone and tell them and have them see it as a nice thing and not me trying to get sex or romantic commitment from them. i wish i was a little dog so i could just curl up at his feet and have it be simple. guuuuhhhhhhhh honestly i just wanted to tell you about my crush. I only knew this guy for like a month and a half so its a bit silly but hes so pretty and smart and cool and really inspired me to live and pushed me in the direction im currently going. its just tricky tricky im probably over complicating it but do you think there's more to love than the relationships that people in our world expect? I love people like theyre a god TT .. even talking about it here feels vapid compared to how it is for me. anyway nice dream thanks universe and i hope the pinkmoonworld is nice today <3

i understand u <3 it is a vary nice day in pinkmoonworld thanku for the wish~~~i know this dilemma tho sigh , my thoughts below..

i always felt like my admiration of people was extreme & consuming , i still do to a certain extent its a big part of the reason WHY i became a bit withdrawn like i struggle w how attached i get to others. i dont want to ask for anything in return but i feel shame when people find me creepy lol. And even then, that shame isnt rly the reason i've become untrusting with my heart, cold ppl r the least of my worries, i understand them.. moreso it's dangerous for me when i encounter someone who recognizes i am This Way & instead of being plainly disinterested or aloof they consciously decide to Use my affections in a sinister manner for their own advantage. that's what's mainly caused me to bcome distant even tho i want to love those ppl too.

so despite distance i still need some outlet for these loveful feelings so i guess i've spent the past 5-ish years working on ways to be overly compassionate in a safer manner.. And a big part of that is that i rly find the purest form of love to be platonic love, when theres not really any expectations or prize for being close to someone yet u still are, that kind of love speaks the deepest to me. and it's funny because really shortly after i surrendered my quest for romantic love, like completely surrendered , is when i met SLIMBO, and thru my efforts to be a really good friend to them we ended up falling sooooooo deeply sincerely in love like nothing i;ve ever known. if we had rushed into a relationship idk if it wld be the same , like having it slowly blossom over the course of a few years w no pressure, it's the foundation upon which we could be SO deeply sure we would always be together.

So the way u speak of loving ur crush, i'd say, just continue to act kindly towards him and everyone else u encounter, with no expectations of them.. people really need this like i think everyone needs to know what it feels like to experience a True Friend a selfless friend. it's rare! i rarely meet anyone who i feel doesn't want *something* from me that i cant give them. and i dont even want to hold that against them! im just saying, what U feel is rare so u should embrace it. allow yourself to exude love as much as u can and that frequency will return to u, just like how it did for me and slimbo...And other friends ive made along the way ^_^ Follow you heart.. maybe he's older but who knows what could happen. i've dated ppl 10 years older than me cus i have always acted like grandpa. sometimes ppl will just see u for ur soul.

and maybe ur dream is pointing u in a right direction, idk, i confessed my love to slimbo a few days after having a dream that we held hands. Ofc we had been friends for 2 years by this point so the time felt right, not every dreams mean u should confess, but i feel like having a sweet dream such as that can be a sort of telepathic experience sometimes.. show a connection between you and him on the astral plane. Take time to enjoy life n enjoy having a crush too cus it can be really fun to feel that crazy over someone :] thats my thoughts.....good luck with your heart, PMD9 out !

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Guys can we listen to Rack City

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

gorgeous worm

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

still thinking about the time i did shrooms in 2019 when i asked my angels why i have such intensely severe body dysmorphic dysorder and they told me its cus i kept getting the bad ending in my other lives due to my vanity so they had to pull out all the stops for this round 😩

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

i wanted 2 tell you a story about this little yorkie that i loved with all my heart because i was reminded of her from your latest post...... her name was bonnie and when i was younger me and my mom babysat her 4 months and we fell in love with her.... i took her on walks all the time..... and i was the one 2 hold her and comfort her when we were bringing her 2 my moms house....... well we eventually had 2 give her back and we missed her so much.... one night on halloween we got 2 her owners house and went inside.... and i found her in her cage thingy and she was whimpering and pawing at the bars trying 2 get 2 me because she missed me :""(((( but i wasnt allowed 2 say hi 2 her !!!!!!! it broke my heart that that was the last time i ever saw her..... i still miss her till this day !

NOOOO BONNIE 😭😭😭 FREE HER.... poor baby, maybe her owner just didnt understand your bond.. Yorkies are so loyal but they can be scrappy, my nana had some small terrier dogs when i was a child but i wasnt allowed to go near them due to their nature 🙄 one of them bit my brother when he was young but it was probably his fault.. i wanted to know them!! Poppy and Rosie 🤍 the other day i saw a homeless lady pushing a shopping cart with THREE off leash yorkies following her so closely :0 it was really cute i think yorkies r some of the most loyal dogs u can find. terriers r very focused. Maybe someday u can get your own yorkie ^^ terracottabunny4yorkiepoos 🥲

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

gm accidnetslly waking up at noon cus i took an extra magnesium ln 😩 and i dreamt of being on this awful vacation i hated at a swamp. i kept trying to buy a madoka magica beach towel but it was too expensive. also i found my old shihtzu bijou in a tiny cage and it was sad but when i freed him he was so excited to see me :"<

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

The sweetest thanks <3

🪷🪷🪷🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵🩶🩶💧🩵🩵🩵💧🐐🪷🐐🩶🐐🐐🐐🐐🩶🐐🐐🩶🐐🐐🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🩵💧🩵💧🩵💧🩵💧🎵🎵🩶☯️☯️☯️🐐🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

I have a porn addiction can you help me? I think I’m searching for connection

o no anon i'm sorry :'( idk if i can personally help u cus i dont know much about porn but i can share some things i kno about addiction in general ;..

i know that It Is possible to rewire your brain to a place where you can live without this, even if its a wretched process that takes immense will power & suffering, going thru that discomfort for a few months or a year or however long it takes is Way way better than spending the rest of your (im assuming long)Life shackled to /it/. and u already acknowledge u want to change, u see where it comes from in ur psyche, that takes SM strength that in itself is a huge part of the process so gj ^^

TBH st thats helped me a lot w my own addictions is reddit, the subreddits for various addictions r usually pretty sincere & u can make a burner acct to stay anonymous. i dont even post on them i jst go sometimes to read ppls stories & comments when im having moments of weakness. it has rly helped me w some stuff , i hope it cld help u find some feelings of connection too. sometimes those boards can be bleak but at least its real idk. Ur not alone tons of ppl going thru it.

ALSO!!!! Journaling!!! introspection & journaling & really getting to the bottom of your motivations, privately, is not only good for understanding yourself better it is also so cathartic.

i wish u the best anon, and i believe in ur strength to change your life & find the connectedness u seek in this world.. i understand how hard it is and i struggle too...Sometimes u have to learn to sit with the void and love the void instead of filling it with substance and distraction. i'm not even all the way there myself but its a journey worth trying. Sending u psychic strength x PMD9

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Miss PMD9 do u think humans are born self-interested?

hmm sort of :) bfore u incarnate i believe a soul is most likely living on the astral plane completely aware of the fact that we r all connected. but then as soon as ur born u forget everything and are suddenly confined to this tiny uncomfortable body u have hardly any control over, so U have to be self interested in order to survive & get to a point where u feel safe enough to start thinking outside urself. its interesting how EGO is a concept often thought of negatively amongtst 'spiritual' types but at certain points in life u may need to keep your ego Up just to [endure] something temporary that eventually ends up leading to your soul's progression. ego serves a purpose in this material plane u just dont want to b so swallowed up by it that u lose track of ur higher self & connectedness of all humanity ^-^ use ego responsibly..

Sadly western society encourages ppl to remain self centered throughout life but i believe if the culture was different most ppl wld grow out of it very young. thx for the Q:) pmd9

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

cute emochie

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

started recording for the wall of thunder & it quickly turns to downpour💧💧💧(from yesterday)(ASMR)

#frossworld #vlog