#they shouldn't be surprised that i have an eating disorder

[tripably]

The way my own brain tries to sabotage my attempt at obtaining a healthier relationship with food is astonishingly irritating, mostly due to being so unbelievably illogical.

When my body started screaming about being ravenously hungry approximately two hours ago, my brain sent out an immediate, automated, unrepliable response along the lines of "No food necessary. You can't possibly be hungry, you've not even done anything today".

As if I haven't been up for, what, 11 hours, majority of which trying to internalize everything I possibly can regarding my new job, on just two cups of coffee and a small bowl of pasta. As if thinking and learning new things wouldn't require energy.

Or no, in fact, as if the task of having sustained the bodily functions of an actual real life person for the past 30 years including today couldn't possibly require more energy than whatever is in 100 grams of white pasta with trace amounts of feta cheese and olive oil, a couple of cherry tomatoes, and maybe a desilitre of oat milk.

As if I would somehow (how????) need to earn the right to, what, keep sustaining said bodily functions? In the eyes of whom, my own brain? Surely not that brain, the one that is in fact included in those bodily functions that apparently aren't significant enough to deserve to go on uninterrupted??

Like does this brilliant brain of mine seriously believe that starving myself is somehow an option that leads to a good outcome? Have we not seen enough logical proof against that? Have we not read enough articles about the ineffectiveness and dangers of diet culture?

And if reading about it really is not enough: have we not been doing that for the past 15 years with whatever is the the opposite of success? How fucking long do we have to keep repeating the same fucking behaviour before accepting the fact that it is not fucking working??????

#unspecified and undiagnosed eating disorders #unhealthy eating habits #under read more bc i know how triggering this topic can be and because i'm not sure how to tag this #but yeah it only took me half an hour or so to wake up to my very own gaslighting and now i'm waiting for my dinner to cook #i hate having to learn how to eat at 30 years old #against a brain that's hellbent on believing whatever bullshit it's internalized re obesity and health #apparently also against a brain that doesn't necessarily want us to stay alive? which i guess shouldn't feel so much like a surprise #with my history #anyway this is such a fucking boring thing to learn #i could be learning to play an instrument #or a new language #or to improve my literary analysis skills #or literally anything fun and interesting #but no #here i am trying to learn how to keep myself alive as if 30 years shouldn't be enough time to learn that #i guess i should focus on the fact that i did catch these thought processes though #instead of blaming myself for things i struggle with regardless of whether they are my own fault or not #and instead of comparing my struggles to those i see and don't see affecting other people #also it just now dawned on me that i've now spent two hours obsessing over the ways in which i struggle taking care of myself #in no productive way #bye gotta go decide what to do with the rest of my evening

[vanteguccir]

Body hurting | Harry Styles

Harry Styles x Y/N

Summary: Where the hate that Y/N has been receiving on social media gets her on a path that she couldn't come back alone from.

Warning: Eating disorder, dysmorphia, self-hatred, comparison. PLEASE read with caution!!

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Y/N was home alone for the second week in a row, and to say that things were easy would be a big lie. Her days were always the same: Spending hours doing different physical exercises and other hours reading the most horrible comments from Harry's fans.

She could never say they were bad people, after all they loved and cared about Harry, but there was something within the fandom against her, and she wondered if it was because she wasn't famous or because she wasn't thin.

Her heart told her that she shouldn't worry about it, there were sweet people who defended her and always presented proof of how much happier Harry seemed to be when with her, but her mind screamed that it was option two.

Hours of sleep were lost with Y/N ​​in front of the mirror, without any clothes and with her hair tied up, her dark eyes with big bags underneath wandering over every part of her body while her brain made records of absolutely all the negative parts.

To say that she wasn't in agony every time she saw an old article about Harry's exes or comments comparing them all to her was an understatement, she could only feel disgusted with herself and her body, while all her past traumas came back with full strength.

With Harry away it made it easier for her to do her fasting and her long hours of physical exercise, in addition to going days without ingesting anything more than one or two leaves of pure lettuce, and lots of water. The feeling of the cold water running through her body and reaching her empty stomach was pleasurable, and all she could think about was how thin she only felt when her stomach was empty.

And without even realizing it, her best friend became her scale, and her greatest partner became her seamstress' measuring tape. Y/N had even printed out some images of the body models she dreamed of having every day, and pasted each one of them in different corners of the house, especially in the kitchen, with strong messages full of triggers that made her think twice before opening the refrigerator or cupboard.

It wasn't surprising that she had an exaggerated reaction when she was told that Harry would have a week without shows, and that in that week he would return home and, consequently, to her. Y/N wasn't prepared to see him again, or rather, she wasn't thin enough to do so. Her weak legs ran around the house, tearing off all the photos and messages stuck to doors and walls, storing them in a far away place, where he wouldn't find.

She tried to take a long shower and brush her teeth repeatedly to get rid of the smell that she got from the lack of food. And then she felt a little ready for what was to come.

It wasn't long before the sound of the key in the main door was heard and the doorknob turned, the tall, dark figure appearing in the doorway with a suitcase in one hand and a big smile on his face, his emerald green eyes searching for her.

Y/N smiled one of her best smiles and ran to meet him, careful not to throw her full weight against him. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as his large hands encircled her waist, the worry that he would feel the fat on her back regions running through her mind. But what she didn't notice was the confused look on Harry's face as his fingers felt how much smaller she was, and he wondered if she had started some kind of diet.

"I missed you so much, H." Y/N murmured against his shoulder.

"Not as much as I did, lovie. Every day, I just thought about having you with me, encouraging me and loving me, and then rewarding me." Y/N felt her body tense at the mention of the intimacy they both shared, the thought of him seeing her body, even though he had already seen it so many times that he had memorized every detail, made her fear.

"Why don't we take this suitcase to the bedroom and then see what we do?" She interrupted the moment, walking away with a fake smile and taking the suitcase from the taller man's hands, starting to climb the stairs, leaving a confused and worried Harry behind.

××××

Two days had passed, days full of lies on Y/N's part and worry on Harry's part. Y/N skipped breakfast, using the fact that Harry woke up after her as an excuse, saying that she had already eaten breakfast; At lunch she couldn't just lie or make some excuse, so she simply took a spoonful of the food that the brunette cooked with so much love, and spread it across the plate, trying to give the impression of having a full plate; At dinner she simply said that she wasn't hungry and that she lost the habit of eating dinner after Harry went on tour.

The days went on like this, Harry felt confused about the situation, but it didn't seem like he didn't believe it, so a debate raged between whether to bring up the subject or not.

Until one day. Harry woke up with the morning sun shining through the open curtain, which Y/N ​​opened every day, his body was warm from the duvet and Y/N's scent surrounded it, like Saturn's rings.

The man got up and did his routine, going to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and changing, ready to go down to meet his loved one, who was always waiting for him with a big smile, sitting at the kitchen counter with her cell phone in hand and a cup of coffee, which was just for him.

But today was different, as Harry went down the stairs a muffled sound became clearer, until his brain registered that the sound was of crying, with a frown the man quickened his pace and chased the sound, concern settling in his eyes.

It didn't take long for him to find Y/N in the fetal position on the main sofa in the room, the cell phone in her right hand while her left hand covered her mouth, trying futilely to stifle the sobs that broke from her throat.

Harry ran closer, kneeling on the floor in front of her seat on the sofa and placing his hands on the girl's knees, stroking them lightly.

"Y/N what happened? Who made you cry like this?" His green eyes migrated from her half-covered face and her cell phone.

"H-Harry-" Her voice broke as the taller man's name came out as a whimper.

"I'm here, baby!" He got closer, wrapping his hands around the smaller girl's shoulders, placing his forehead on the top of Y/N's head, breathing in her scent.

"Harry, I don't think I can do this anymore..." Y/N whispered.

"Do what, my love?"

"Us, Harry." The man moved quickly, astonished by his girl's response.

"Did I do something? It was one of those fake news that I'm cheating on you, wasn't it? Baby, I never-"

"No Harry, no. I know you would never do that! And you didn't do anything, I just..." She sighed and looked into his eyes, feeling guilty when she saw the pain in his emerald orbs. "Look at me, Harry, look at this." She pointed to his body, letting a loud sob out.

"What should I be seeing? Besides a beautiful woman."

Y/N laughed in disbelief, shaking her head and feeling a hint of anger start to rise, it was clear he would say something like that just to please her.

"Harry, I'm looking horrible. I don't have visible ribs or a protruding collarbone, I don't have a thigh gap or hip bones, I don't have thin wrists and I don't have well-marked cheekbones, I don't have pointy shoulders and I don't have a defined jaw... I don't have delicate hands or thin fingers, my waist isn't extremely thin and my breasts are too big. Harry, I'm not perfect and I can't give you what you need."

At this point Y/N was crying a desperate cry, with strong sobs that made her body shake and thick tears that ran down her face. Harry had tears welling up in his eyes as his hands balled into fists in anger at whoever had put these thoughts in his beloved's head.

"Y/N, who made you think like that? How can you deduce what I want?"

"Harry..." She closed her eyes tightly, her mind betraying her by bringing up images of Camille, the girl seemed to be kind, but Y/N couldn't help but feel jealous of her perfect body. "I'm not like them, I'm not like her!"

"Who? Baby, please-"

"I'm not like Camille or like Kendall or like Taylor, and I can't give you the pretty, thin image you need, the media hates me and I've lost count of how many times they've told you that you're blind from being with me, and I can't disagree with that."

Harry shook his head in denial, feeling angry at the media and everything they post and say with the intention of always offending someone.

Y/N continued to sob, and the force her body exerted with the act left her weak, the lack of food began to appear again and her eyes saw stars while her head swam. Harry grabbed her arms quickly, steadying her.

"Baby if you keep crying like that you're going to hurt yourself. Take a deep breath for me, hm? I'll get you a glass of water."

The brunette ran to the kitchen, starting to look for the decorated glass that he knew was the girl's favorite. While opening drawers and cabinets, his green eyes found a piece of paper glued to the front of the bottom shelf, where some industrialized sweets were kept. Harry took the paper and pulled it out, seeing a photo of a body exactly as described by Y/N and a note next to it, his eyes widened at the horrible mentions written there and he tried to get up quickly and return to the room, holding the paper firmly in your hands.

"Y/N what is this?" The brown-haired girl looked up quickly, her greatest fear happening right before her eyes. Her mouth opened but nothing came out. "Tell me something, when was the last time you ate anything?" She shook her head, ready to say it was the day before, but Harry interrupted her. "I mean a whole meal with a healthy amount."

Y/N remained silent, her eyes now fixed on the floor covered by the shag carpet, the older man took a deep breath, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He walked over to the smallest one and put the photo in his pants pocket, promising himself to look for others like it deep in the house.

"Y/N this is a serious situation, you can't keep something like this to yourself!" He couldn't help but feel frustration, he felt guilty for feeling like that because he knew that it wasn't Y/N's fault, but with the way that all of that came down, it just made his head confused and upset.

"Harry I'm fine, that was just-"

"Baby I bet you haven't eaten in days, do you think this is healthy, that this will get you somewhere other than a hospital bed? Letting this situation compromise you like this because of other people... That's not good for you. You don't need to have the same body as them, you don't need to have bones showing or a flat stomach to be magnificent. Those pants you're wearing were tight until a few weeks ago, and look at them now, they're baggy..."

Y/N kept her gaze down, her eyes were filling with uncontrollable tears that threatened to flow at any second again, her cheeks were heating up and the force she was exerting to contain the tears was starting to generate an unbearable headache. She knew Harry was right.

"I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me everything is okay. Just look into my eyes."

The girl slowly raised her head, her eyes focusing on Harry's beautiful green ones, which now held so much anguish and worry, a tear escaping from the corner of his right eye made her lower lip tremble. She opened her mouth to state that she was fine and that everything was going to get better, but her voice seemed to trail off for a second.

Her body hurt, her legs were wobbly and her arms were shaking slightly, she felt her head feel heavy. It was a horrible feeling, beyond normal.

"I-I... Harry, I think I need help."

She whispered, her tears flowing freely now with the weight of her words. Harry nodded vigorously, relieved that she understood that this situation was not normal, and promising himself that he would be by her side through the entire process, no matter how long it took.

And that night, after his girlfriend fell asleep, Harry cried.

#x reader #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #angst #love #fanfic #fanfiction #y/n #fic #fiction #hs #tour #hs x reader #styles #harry #harry styles imagine #imagine #harry edward styles #harry styles blurb

[mncxbe]

Hi, I really like your work, you are very reverent and diligent with each submission. I would also like to ask you to write a story where the reader gained weight and started to feel insecure in society, relationship with her boyfriend ( could it be Chuya, Dazai, Fedor?). Thank you so much. I hope I got the message across. Have a great week!

anon you're so polite omg- I love this idea hhh. Hope you like it♡♡

10:43♡

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑪𝒉ū𝒚𝒂, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: light angst/ fluff♡

𝑻𝑾: mentions of eating disorders and poor body image

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊

this man does not care about your weight. like at all; he thinks you're beautiful either way

that's why he's so surprised when you tell him you're insecure

he hears you out and tries his best to soothe you

from then on he's really supportive and always reassures you that gaining a few pounds doesn't make you less worthy in his eyes

secretely keeps track of how much you eat because he doesn't want you to neglect your diet or develop an eating disorder

"Bella..." he sighed as soon as you were done talking. For the first time since the two of you started dating, Dazai looked hurt, chocolate brown eyes shadowed with sorrow.

His sad expression only worsened your mood. Your breath hitched, words stuck at the back of your throat as you felt the tears pooling at your lashline.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said all that. It's stupid" you muttered, averting your gaze from his but he quickly hooked a finger under your chin, making you face him.

"My love I'm not mad at you for telling me that. I just... wish you'd told me sooner"

Indeed, during the past few weeks Dazai had noticed your unusual behaviour; you weren't that affectionate towards him, always spending hours on end in front of the mirror, checking yourself out, eating less. At first, Dazai assumed that your appetite reduced because of the high temperatures during summer; after all, he himself ate less during those months, but when you refused to shower or sleep with him he knew something was wrong.

So he sat you down on the couch and asked you what it was all about. You hesitantly told him about how you've started feeling self conscious about your body, how you've gained weight and struggled to lose it, to be the pretty for him.

As you spoke, you noticed Dazai's expression slowly darken. He couldn't comprehend what you were saying. You, ugly? You, his sweet girl, not feeling worthy of his love just because you gained a few pounds? You, starving yourself every day because you thought he'd rather have you not eating than being chubby?

Despite how much your words affected him, this wasn't about him; so he wiped every trace of sadness from his expression and smiled.

"I wish you'd told me sooner. I could've helped you, you know?" he continued

"But how? Really Dazai this isn't your fault. You can't help me with this" you sniffled, wiping your nose with the back of your hand; which caused a mellow laughter to roll past your boyfriend's lips.

His hand slid up your cheek, thumb lightly tracing over your cheekbone as he held your gaze.

"I know bella, but I could've reminded you that to me you're the most beautiful woman. If you wanna get back in shape that's alright, but don't put too much pressure on yourself, ok?"

You gave a weak nod and his smile widened. Kissing your tears away, his arms snaked around your frame, pulling you flush against him. Your head came to rest against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful state.

"Thank you Osamu. I think really needed you to say that" you eventually spoke up and he chuckled, gently threading his fingers through your hair.

"Anytime bella, Anytime"

𝑪𝒉ū𝒚𝒂

just like his partner in crime, Chuya is also surprised when you confess you're insecure about your weight

he starts rambling on about how today's society pushes unrelalistic beauty standars on women and all that

threatens to "deal with" whoever calls you fat or makes you feel self conscious about your weight

but after he calms down a bit he reminds you that you're gorgeous either way

like hell, he even likes you more like this honestly. he adores your curves

It's been around half an hour since your boyfriend started his diatribe and he showed no sign of stopping. What started off as a simple conversation- you telling him that you've developed an insecurity abour weight- ended up with him ranting and raving about beauty standards and how low society has become.

"Seriously now, it's fucked up" he decalred as he downed the last sips of wine; red liquid tinting his lips crimson. "I mean, really. You're absolutely stunning as you are. You don't need to look like those models in magazines."

"I don't want that Chuu I just..." you stammered, fumbling for words.

"I know sweetie. You wanna lose a few pounds and if you really want that I'll support you. After all, it's kinda my fault you gained weight, right?" he asked with a chuckle "Considering all the dinners I took you to..."

His comment lightened the mood, a little smile creeping on your face. "You know it's not your fault honey, really. I just need to be more careful with what I eat in general"

Chuuya sighed, placing the empty glass on a table nearby. He took your hand in his, fingers gently intertwining with yours. "Look sweetie, if you wanna lose weight it's ok. But please know you don't need to do this to be beautiful, because you already are. You're my pretty girl"

A gentle smile rose to his lips as he leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead. "And if anyone else tells you that you're not I'll personally teach them a lesson. You can count on me sugar."

His tender words managed to soothe your soul a bit so you nodded, returning the smile.

"You know Chuu, you don't have to go that far"

"I'll go as far as you want me to baby"

For a brief moment, his cloudy gaze slid down your body, taking in your frame; sparkling. His arm snaked around the small of your back, pulling you closer as his wine tinged lips found the crook of your neck, tracing idle kisses along your skin. You gasped lightly at the sudden closeness, causing your boyfriend to chuckle.

"Now lemme show you exactly how much I adore you, sweetheart"

𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓

he's actually the one who brings up the subject of your weight

he notices that you've been more reserved lately, that you haven't eaten that much so he asks you to talk about it

and when you tell him you're insecure about the weight you gained he thinks it's utterly ridiculous

naturally, he doesn't voice his thoughts, not wanting to make you feel worse than you do already

instead, he takes your hand in his and kisses it gently and reassures you that to him you'll always be the most beautiful woman. so you needn't worry about gaining weight

The cup of steaming tea stood untouched on the nightstand, lavender steam raising from its surface. Beside you on the silky sheets, your partner sighed.

"So... myshka. Are you going to tell me what's going on or do you plan on keeping it to yourself?"

You shrugged, still not facing him. "What do you mean? Everything is alright my dear"

Your voice feigned nonchalance but Fyodor caught the faint trace of worry; he shifted closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Come on now, don't be difficult. I know you and I can tell when something's wrong, so please talk to me" his breath fanned over the shell of your ear, comforting, as his hand traced over your hip.

He could feel your body tense under his touch and he reluctantly pulled his hand away. "Please myshka"

He sounded defeated, sadness lacing his voice. Guilt started seeping into your soul and you finally turned around to face him.

"Look, it's nothing just... one of my colleagues at work pointed out that I got a bit fat and it's been on my mind"

A faint chuckle rolled past your boyfriend's lips upon hearing your words. Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, he pulled you closer to his frame.

"Oh you silly girl" he smiled, fingers gently lacing in your hair "You really got upset over something like that?"

A faint blush tinted your cheeks and you hid your face against his chest. "Don't laugh at me please. I know it's silly but... she was right, you know?

"It's not silly my dear. I'm just surprised it got to you. And what if you gained a bit of weight? You're just as beautiful as you've always been"

"You don't have to say that just for my sake"

"But I'm not" he chuckled "I say it because it's true. Now don't worry your pretty head over it." He used a finger to gently raise your chin, making you face him "Just sleep for now"

Peppering your face with kisses, he squeezed your waist tighter.

His saccharine affections managed to lull you into a deep slumber; Fyodor always had this effect on you, gently coaxing all the bad feelings out of you as if scooping them with a spoon and tossing them in the deep blue sea to be drowned forever.

"Thank you dear" you muttered, lips curling into a mellow smile. "I love you"

"I love you too, myshka" he sighed, kissing you once again before closing his eyes.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd fluff #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd headcanons #bsd chuya #dazai x reader #dazai fluff #chuya x reader #chuuya fluff #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara #dazai x fem reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor bsd #bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs fyodor

[giorno-plays-piano]

Thorns In His Mouth

Part V

Pairing: fae!Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: obsession, dubious consent, minor character death, drugs (neither reader nor Steve are involved), slight eating disorder, mentions of tumor, high tech elves.

Words: 1.7k

Summary: Maybe it was a good idea to chat with a waitress a bit more once she brought you your order. Perhaps she could at least tell you with whom you should speak because you simply couldn’t force yourself to look at others, most of them already high, shouting something loudly or laughing or weeping. You could constantly hear the flapping of someone’s wings, weird whispers and noises, and the sound of boots and hooves that made your hair stand on end.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

________

You didn't remember how you've gotten home. Whatever happened yesterday in that fallen fae's hovel already became a blur except for the face of a dead elf laying on a dirty sofa, his black veins like spider silk threads, shaking you to the core. You saw his peaceful face when you slept, and you woke up weeping, your lids puffy and wet.

Although you knew nothing of him, and perhaps there was nothing surprising about a drug addict like him dying, he had been a living being, still. He wasn't born but made this way. It was hard to believe that a brave warrior, a protector of his kin, even if he failed to win one of his battles, deserved to end up like that, abandoned by everyone, human or fae. Did anyone, though?

Julius got no help, no sympathy, no hope. Surely, he wasn't the only one, and your human world was full of homeless and troubled people who faced the same things, but seeing a man - an elf - die like that made you want to scream until someone came and set things right.

He should have gotten help. He deserved it, at least. If he had gotten it on time, wouldn't he be alive now? He'd meet you that night with Steve, tell you his story, listen to you asking him to meet that mysterious High Lord who was searching for his brother, and perhaps returned to the Sacred lands where he belonged.

But now Julius was dead, and you had to live with it.

The water was cold, but you still spent good twenty minutes in the shower, letting the water wash away the fatigue - it felt as if you hadn't slept at all - and tears that kept rolling down your cheeks. You felt exhausted and scared. Why didn't you anticipate this when agreeing to the deal with that elf? He told you honestly what became of the fallen fair folk. You should have known what to expect. What were you going to do? Shouldn't you have at least called the police to report Julius' body? How did elves go about this? Did they even bury the bodies of the folk? Would they leave it up to humans? Would they take a grave offense if people showed up and took the body of one of them? Have Steve done anything?

When you almost gathered enough strength to call the police, you realized you hadn't the slightest idea where that place where you found the dead elf was. You had no address, and with your sense of direction it was impossible to guess where Steve had taken you yesterday. You did walk quite a while, after all.

You hoped Steve took care of Julius. You were scared to go looking for that place, shaking as you wrapped yourself in your thick cotton robe.

But you'd have to come back anyway, wouldn't you? You had to respect your end of the bargain. You needed to get back in that café that smelled like piss and vomit, full of addicts and alcoholics and all sorts of degenerates and stay there as long as it took until you found that one elf your mysterious friend was looking for.

You couldn't do it. It was simply out of question.

Before you could give this thought some time, figuring out how to deal with you High Lord elf, your phone suddenly rang, and you immediately recognized the number of your mother's doctor. Why was he calling? Why so early in the morning?

The screening. They had her screening early in the morning today. Good God, you forgot.

You gripped the phone tightly in your hand, pressing it to your ear, "Good morning, Mr. Alves."

The man on the other side greeted you in a somewhat nervous tone, albeit trying to mask it, unconvincingly, and your heart fell somewhere down your stomach. Good God, you despised hearing back from the hospital. They rarely brought you good news.

"How's she?" You asked grimly, setting your eyes on your reflection on the mirror but seeing nothing at all, too invested in the conversation.

There was a distinctive silence on the other side of the phone, and you trembled, gripping your own so hard the display's glass protector threatened to break under pressure. In your mind you have already invisioned numerous scenarios, all rather apocalyptic, involving your mother and you, and you breath grew shallow from the wave of anxiety. Why was he silent?

"We have... an unexpected development," the doctor mumbled, and you tore your lower lip, tasting blood on your tongue. "The... the tumor stopped growing. Abruptly."

"What?"

You stared stupidly at your own reflection, finally noticing how horribly you looked after a sleepless night, crying your eyes out, but you dismissed your fatigued face, licking the blood off your lip as you pressed the phone closer to your ear, afraid you misheard.

"I-I'm sorry, could you say it again, please? It has stopped growing?"

Despite how aggressive it was before?

"Yes, it has. Before you ask me why, we're still not sure if your mother started responding to the latest changes in her treatment, but... but it has stopped growing. For now. Which is good."

"Yes. Yes, it's... it's good."

"It's good."

"It's very good."

You clapped a hand against your mouth so the doctor wouldn't have to listen to your hysterical cries and wailing. It has stopped growing. It finally has. Your mother was stable, for once, the first good news you got in forever. How long has it been since Dr. Alver told you anything hopeful? More and more your visits to him were making you sick as you failed to have any kind of support, a reassurance your mother would be alright. On the contrary, he was telling you to prepare yourself. You dreaded your visits to his office, each accompanied by such anxiety you were close to having a panic attack.

And now your mother was good. Maybe not entirely, but safe. She responded to the treatment.

... or has she?

For a second, you froze on the stop. The treatment? The treatment she was unresponsive to for so long, with all these inadequate doctors just waving their hands off when you asked them about new treatments or experimental programs that may help your mother when they themselves couldn't?

No, she wasn't responding to their crude method of treating her tumor. She was responding to the elf and his ways. To his magic, in exchange for your services.

____________

You were at the cafe right after you finished your work. You were exhausted beyong measure and still frightened of what may happen, but your determination made you put that aside. Your mother mattered above anything and anyone else. She was in there, fighting for her life, and the least you could do was to give her a chance.

But when you spotted a familiar tall elf with a distinctive bleached hair reaching his waist, you almost ran away. Steve had to yell at the top of his voice to stop you when you tried to squeeze yourself into the wall from fear, facing a dead end.

"Please! I won't hurt you!" He exhaled, cornering you as the passing fae with horns looked at the two of you, curious but warned against intervening by an exasperated elf and his icy stare.

You gulped down, shivering.

"I swear I won't hurt you. Please, don't run," he pleaded.

As if you had a choice with him blocking the road, you thought, clenching your black bag against your chest like it was a magic shield. What did this deranged elf want with you? Was he now tied to you by some ridiculous ritual he needed to perform since you saw the death of his kin? Did he need to erase your memory? You wouldn't mind it, actually.

"How may I help you?" You asked, puzzled and unsure how to even adress the elf. Were you on friendly enough terms to call him by his human name after what you had seen yesterday?

Steve gave out a sad laugh, turning his head away for a second before he looked at you and pulled something from the pocket of his leather jacket, making you tremble again until you saw they were your pearl earrings you had given the elf yesterday. Why was he giving them back to you? Did they not suffice? Did he want something better?

"Take them," he said with longing as if he was partying with a king's crown, placing them in your palm, his pale skin cold to the touch. "This is my apology to you for... for everything."

You stared at the white round pearls in your hand, blinking, not knowing what to say. Was it customary to return a gift given for fae's services if that fae failed to provide them? It made sense, sort of. But had Steve really failed? He had only promised to take you to the elf who might have been someone you were looking for, and he fulfilled his end of the bargain. Why was he giving you your earrings back?

As you watched them, suddenly thinking they were heavier now and bringing them closer to your face, you realized those were not the cheap plastic pearls you bought from a local store for a couple of dollars. They were real pearls, round and shiny and impossibly beautiful.

"You replaced the pearls?" Taken aback, you stared at the man, open-mouthed.

He nodded, nervously tucking his bleached hair behind his ear, "Yes. I made a talisman out of them, and it required decent material for a strong enchantment. Pearls are durable... and pretty."

They were enchanted?

Dear God, please let it be a good enchantment, you thought, sweating profusely with a goddamn faery relic in your hand.

_________

"It's a protection spell. A good, strong one," he added quickly, noticing your discomfort. "It'll help you when we'll be searching for the elf you're looking for."

Part VI

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @melodierin @yeolliedokai @what-is-your-wish @lou-la-lou @gachawipes133 @eralen @magnificantmermaid @lovelydarkdaydream @illyrianprincess @youngdreamer3214

#yandere #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #dark steve rogers #mcu fanfiction #captain america #dark steve rogers x reader

[our-destiny]

If you’re comfortable with it can I request a blurb or headcannons (whatever you prefer) with yandere Bucky Barnes with a darling who never wears anything that goes above the knee but eventually they get comfortable (assuming they haven’t been yoinked at this point) with Bucky that they take a chance and wear something that’s above the knee, and they just have a lot of SH scars on their thighs. I struggle with it still so it’d be v comforting.

That or a darling with an eating disorder because they feel like they don’t deserve to eat, or others deserve it more than them (I also struggle with this) (multiple skill issues on my part👎)

Tyyy!

-💪🌝

Thank you for sending in a request, in this post I'll do SH scars but I'll do another post for an ED, and I'll link it here when I'm done. Anyway, we're gonna do headcanons! <33 Also I hope this helps comfort you bb

Yandere Bucky sees GN!Darling's self harm scars

Trigger Warnings: Self harm (both past and present), implied suicide, stalking, kidnapping, Bucky's a perv and watches you change + a sappy note at the end from yours truly - if I missed anything please let me know

Want to read more of my work? Check out my Masterlist

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

First off, our baby boy here definitely stalks you, and has probably seen your scars when he'd watches you get changed (little pervert). So when he sees you wearing something that shows them, he won't be very surprised. Chances are he'll just gloss over them and not mention them to hopefully make you more comfortable. But let's talk about how he first felt when he saw them.

Bucky was absolutely heartbroken when he saw them. You hurt yourself? Why? He thinks you're the best person in the world, he would move Heaven and Earth for you, what made you do that? He's not judging you, no he would never. He's just worried.

He probably stays awake at night for the first few days when he finds out. Worrying if he's gonna lose you, or if he's done something wrong. His stalking gets more intense, wanting to make sure you don't do it again, or hurt yourself worse.

If they're fresh ones he thinks about confronting you. About giving you a long speech about how he loves you, trying to intervene and help. But then he remembers that you don't know he knows. He shouldn't know. So that idea gets scrapped. So now he has two options.

1. Take you home with him (he doesn't like the word ''kidnap'') so he can physically stop you, even if he has to tie you up or lock you somewhere.

Or 2. Physically stop you by just taking away whatever you're using to hurt yourself. Knives would be the easiest, he'd just take them when you weren't looking, and if you bought more he'd take them, too. But if it's something else (your own nails, burning yourself, hitting yourself) he'd have to do something else. In that case, he'd be forced to take you, to keep you by his side and under his watch so you didn't hurt the person he loves any more.

Either way he is incredibly worried, and would act as soon as possible to try and help you from the shadows. He'd also insist that he's here for you, that you can call him whenever you want, even if it's the middle of the night, your safety comes above anything of his. He just wants to make sure you stay by his side, and happy. Is that so bad?

If they were old ones and healed up he wouldn't be as worried but still heartbroken.

Even the thought you did something like that just makes him want to cradle you and kiss your cute face all over, reassure you for hours on end. But he can't, because you don't know that he knows.

Either way, he becomes a lot more clingy and reassuring, telling you he's here for you if you should ever need him and showering you with even more love. Again, once you actually showed him, he wouldn't mention it or make a big deal out of it, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or pressure you into talking. But if you do want to talk, he's all ears. And has snacks and cuddles at the ready to comfort you.

As always, don't hesitate to reach out if you are struggling, there are many resources available to help you, pkease use them. Even if you feel no one cares, I care. And I love you. So take care of yourselves <33

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #yandere bucky barnes #yandere bucky x reader #yandere marvel #dark!bucky barnes x reader #yandere marvel x reader #yandere bucky #yandere james barnes #dark!bucky barnes #dark winter soldier #dark marvel #dark!buckybarnes #dark!bucky #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark bucky barnes x you #dark bucky x reader

[haredjarris]

hopefully these were exceptions, not the rule, but I've found some kids' attitudes to "healthy" eating these days is beyond fucked up. there's too much focus on fruit and veg being the be all and end all and everything else it looked at through a restricting lens when the food wheel is first introduced, even teaching immediately that you shouldn't have "too much" dairy or egg. we were once talking in year one (so 5 or 6 years old) class about eating a range of colourful fruit and veg, and a kid said "yeah but not bananas, because they're full of sugar". the other day a reception (4 or 5 years old) snitched/dobbed/told on/whatever you call it some other kid because they had a croissant with chocolate spread (not hazelnut, which would have been a valid reason to tell, as we are a nut free school) in their lunchbox. not because they only had croissants or had only eaten their croissant and left everything else (which is in itself something children need support with, not being told off, but that's a different matter). this other kid told on them just because they had it, alongside other varied foods. i took the opportunity to say "good, they SHOULD have that croissant, eating foods that we enjoy and feeling happy about food is very important too. good job [name] and i hope you love your croissant :-)". but I can't always be there to instil this attitude. just seems really toxic to me and i wouldn't be at all surprised if we see an uptick in eating disorders when this generation of little kids become teenagers and young adults, if not before.

#food / #eating / #disordered eating / #eating disorders /

[deargravity]

Akashi for 1, 3, 8, 12, 15, 18, 19, 21 for the character ask game please!

why would you give me the hardest one ever. do you hate me. be honest.

from this

why do you like or dislike this character?

okay, more importantly, why wouldn't i like him. i just think what i want to say has already been said so now i have no idea how to answer this. uh, i think liking akashi came as a pretty big surprise for me though in retrospect i shouldn't have been surprised - he's intelligent and tortured, and i love that combination in a character. like oh, you possess precognition and competence to predict / secure future outcomes but even then, no amount of striving will ever free you from your own fate? you've been running your whole life without knowing what from and where to because you've known no other option? you're revered by your peers and you want to care for them but your own needs disgust you so you'll never be able to expect reciprocity for all your love because you feel ashamed by your own wanting? you've lost touch with what it means to be a person because you've been forced to be a prodigy your whole life? you choke on your words because you've never taken a real breath and don't know how to be vulnerable in a way that doesn't defy the ideals you've grown up with? wonderful, i'm keeping you. also i think i just picked him up like a wet cat and decided to never let him go.

i don't know if it was intended but i think it'd be funnier that akashi is the closest i've come to finding an osdd experience that really aligns with my own. (i say closest because we have different types of osdd) i guess he was first a tool for my own self-assessment before i came to genuinely care for him the way i do now. it's so embarrassing to say but he was kind of a talisman i clung to if and when i dissociated. made the experience a little less painful and alienating. anyways that is my beloved cat.

3. least favourite canon thing about this character?

erm, i think i speak for everyone when i say the scissors scene was really unnecessary. but i've never made a point of appreciating the writing in knb so this is unsurprising. like you can't give him the symptoms of already highly stigmatised disorders (osdd, npd) and then write him doing something like that. but it's a can of worms i really don't want to open. either ways, i have mixed feelings about the scene because on one hand, it could have been an excellent opening to discuss how life experiences can be so debilitating and mental illnesses / disorders have the capacity to damage world views and perceptions of morality. (everyone wants to be pro mental health until the disorders in question result in behaviours that defy conventional morality and disrupt the social order.) but this is a sports animanga so i really think the scene shouldn't have been there AT ALL because this is too big a discussion to be covered in a basketball manga. the mangaka bit off more than he could chew with this one, tbh, but trust me if i'd written knb i would have done this better.

he is just a kid, he should have been having sleepovers with his friends and eating ice cream after games to celebrate with his team. i will never hold it against him either because if kuroko "violence isn't the answer" tetsuya and the others didn't report him, they are all culpable. if the social order and morality of a situation is that important to someone and they refuse to stand up for it when it matters, they are equally to blame when things fall apart without consequence. but what do i know lol.

8. what's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

okay, i'll be honest i don't mingle in fandom spaces because i've realised that it genuinely affects me when my faves are mischaracterised or perceived differently from the way i do. i just stay out of fandom spaces and i'm not very active in interacting with other people unless we've been mutuals for a while and i trust their judgement. so i wouldn't know. i just know if anyone did anything with akashi that i despise i would delete my social media and disappear into a cave. and i'm being serious i don't think my ego could survive this.

but well, i don't like people calling him psychotic / psychopathic or writing him to fit their yandere fantasies (i have unfortunately stumbled upon too many of those things in the tags). he is just a kid, he was going through a tough time managing grief and abandonment and impossible standards. leave him alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE. ugh. i usually scroll, mute, or block (or all three), but this has happened with so many of my faves already and the way people perceive these traits also directly affects the way they treat others in real life who exhibit these traits and it's very often that malicious intent is directed to those who are simply a product of their circumstances rather than the system that created these issues / the responsible figures in their life that failed them. but that's too meta. whatever. you get my point.

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

i feel like i'm really alone in this and it's not a specific headcanon but i think akashi is clumsy and kind of messy by nature, he's just working full-time to make sure he's achieved the image of perfection everyone assumes of him. sure he's a basketball prodigy and trained equestrian and he's athletic etc. etc. but i think he can be awkward and messy at times. i just desperately don't want him to be perfect outside of those two things. i desperately want him to be a little awkward and messy.

he doesn't know how to eat stick ice cream because it drips everywhere and makes him nervous. his teeth hurt when he drinks / eats anything cold. when he's wearing full-sleeves he somehow always manages to stain his cuffs even when it doesn't seem humanly possible, but he's gotten good at being able to remove them. he has to rehearse an entire conversation in his head before he actually engages someone, but he's taken speech and elocution classes (courtesy of his dad) so it compensates for when he trips up to make it look natural and smooth. he's just always trying, trying, trying. and maybe for once he wants someone to call him out on all this effort and tell him, hey it's okay to screw up something or the other. but of course he never asks.

also he cries when he gets frustrated but never in front of other people. he spends a lot of energy on regulating himself when he has to be present for others so he doesn't process anything until he's on his own and it all hits him at once. and it can be the smallest of things. bus came late on a rainy day? he's in the back seat, holding back tears all the way to his destination. he raised his hand but he answered a question wrong in class? his face is burning and he has to excuse himself to the washroom to breathe or cry or both. he got 99 on a test? he cries because he's sick of feeling relief over accomplishments that should be bringing him joy. just like a few tears. i don't think he's every full-on bawled about anything. maybe one day he'll have the opportunity to do so without feeling ashamed of himself. praying for that

15. what's your favourite ship for this character?

i don't really think about ships that much unless it's in queerplatonic way, which then begs me to answer that i like every akashi ship where he's loved and treated as someone worth caring for rather than a symptom that needs to be managed.

i was a huge akakise fan for a while simply because they both have similar problems. hear me out on this. kise and akashi both struck me as people desperate for connection but kise has been made to doubt the realness of his connections (because of how deceiving and opportunistic people have been in trying to be his friend for status) and akashi has grown up believing he doesn't deserve any kind of connection unless he's fought and earned it (because he's only ever gotten praised by his dad, without ever believing he's loved). i think they'd make a nice pair, romantically or platonically or otherwise. i love akakise, and i will die on this hill and go down with this ship or whatever the kids these days say.

18. how about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

anything with rakuzan. do i have to elaborate. i love them so bad. i can't even talk about it. whatever akashi shares with the rest of rakuzan is so sacred and important to the community.

19. how about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

errrrrrrrrr... i don't know. i don't spend a lot of time thinking about things that i don't like.

maybe anything during teiko era with akashi and the rest of the team but it's not that i dislike it. i just think it is unfortunate that whether or not akashi had known they had faith in him, it wouldn't have exempted him from feeling abandoned. it was a very sad time for all of them, so i dislike everything about it.

21. if you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favourite thing to do when you're writing for this character? what's something you don't like?

i haven't written much for akashi tbh, or i haven't written as much as i'd like to but i have written exactly (1) character study fic for him and my favourite part was trying to bare his inner world to the readers through excessive use of metaphors. i love introspection a lot and i think it works well to reveal that akashi is just scared and vulnerable but overcompensating for that by affecting an air of neatness and certainty. i love that stuff. i would also love to explore his shame a lot more - i think shame is a constant companion for him, because he's ashamed of his own failings, he's ashamed of his own needs and he's ashamed of his own personhood, and i think he's also ashamed of the way he's turned out to be because of his dad, he may even be ashamed of his dad and his family name, and then he might be ashamed of feeling ashamed. i think if i ever write him again the cycle of shame will take the front lines. so we will see

if you've made it this far, thank you for reading. i hope you liked watching me be crazy.

#thank you so much for asking #i needed an excuse to talk about him #anyone else feel free to ask more about literally any character #cant promise a detailed answer like this though #knb #kuroko no basket #akashi seijuro

[ateezivy]

skin and bones

era : guerrilla (2022)

warning : eating disorder, mental health, body image, cyber bullying, irregular periods

it's all going to shit...

to say that ivy has been overly stressed out was an understatement. it was easy to tell too. she is constantly worrying about how she looks, if she sounds okay if she does the dances correctly. one screw up send her into an anxious mess and she doesn't understand why.

when was the last time she took her anti-depressants?

when was the last time she took her anxiety meds?

what about her nausea medication?

she can't even remember.

she doesn't have an appetite anymore, ever. the most she eats in a day is an apple and peanut butter, but even that gets thrown up sometimes. her hair is starting to get thinner and thinner. her periods have started becoming irregular. it's happening again. and she doesn't even realize it. not until recently at least

"jisoo-ah" hongjoong stares at the girl, snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"hm?" she blinks rapidly, suddenly remembering the leaders presence.

"i said dinner is ready, wooyoung cooked"

it's easy to see what they are doing. wooyoung has been cooking her favorite foods. mingi has been holding her extra tight at night. yunho has been hugging her longer than usual. seonghwa has been doing her chores. jongho has been singing her to sleep during even the shortest of car rides. san has been buying her more stuffed animals and random things that seem to remind him of her. yeosang has been asking her to join him on a midnight walk to get snacks, more than usual at least. hongjoong has been home from the studio more.

is it bad to say she doesn't feel anything about these gestures though?

what's happening to her.

"i'm not really that hungry" she stated with a sheepish smile.

but hongjoong looked her up and down with his worried face "at least join us, maybe you'll be hungry once you're around it?" he's trying his best.

but she shook her head now "I'm okay"

once she falls asleep, she knows she is going to wake up to her favorite snacks on her desk with a note from mingi or jongho.

ivy~ you seem to be skipping meals. eat up!

i noticed you missed dinner, so i brought you some food. enjoy!

you know you shouldn't be missing out on meals. eat.

the gestures are sweet and all, but she can practically hear their worry the more they buy her things.

she woke up around two in the morning, and she looked at her desk to see... nothing. she let out a small breath of relief, knowing they didn't waste their money on her today.

she sat up off her bed to go get a water bottle, her throat was dry and she didn't really want anything that could give her any more calories than needed. walking out of the room, she sees mingi grabbing a midnight snack for himself.

"here," he said plainly, handing her a snack cake.

"i don't-"

"just please eat something"

their eyes meet for the first time in a while. she's scared to look into any of their eyes, worried of their judgement and disapproval.

"okay," she whispers and takes the snack from the taller's hand. she unwraps the packaging and eats it slowly as he watches with a small shimmer of pride in his eyes.

she finishes the cake and grabs a water before mingi pulls her back into his room. "talk to me" he says lowly, hoping to get anything out of her.

"what do you mean" she tried playing it off with a giggle, but mingi has always been able to read her like a book.

"why are you doing this again," he asks.

the last time ivy was this skinny, it was during their first comeback, she was facing the stress of being the only female member and just being an idol again in general. she didn't eat much for a while, and every day she woke up surprised she was still living. it really tore them all apart at that time. they had never seen her in such a state, so it was shocking and confusing at the time.

the girl could only shrug it off as nothing as if her boyfriend was going to believe that. but he knows her, he knows she doesn't want to talk, and though she would have to at some point, he doesn't want her to be up all night.

"let's get some sleep"

the next morning she woke up alone in mingi's bed. she checked the time on his digital clock. 11:03 AM. she slept in again.

"damn" she sighed before taking the covers off of her and standing up. as soon as she stood, she felt like she was spinning and her eyes went blank. she hates when that happens, and it's been happening a lot.

she walks out to the living area to see all her members sitting there, waiting for her it seems. they all became silent when yeosang clears his throat after making eye contact with her. yunho gave her a very little smile before hugging her like he does every morning.

"morning" she said

"morning" he responded quietly

she let go and looked at them "what's going on" she questioned as she moved into the living room more.

"we were hoping you would tell us" san answered

"nothing to say. shouldn't we be practicing?"

the boys all shared glances as hongjoong explained that they all woke up late that morning so practice was moved to some time after lunch hours. the girl nodded and went to take a shower and get ready for the day.

tomorrow is the kick-off concert for the tour, and while she is excited, she feels herself getting more and more anxious. she continues reading comments on her posts. and she sees all the worry posts about her, and then she sees the hate too. it's like she can never win in this life.

is it true?

has she really starved herself to nothing but skin and bones?

has she become weak?

ugly?

the day after everyone was up bright and early. "good morning" seonghwa smiled and handed the girl something he knew she would actually eat. apples and peanut butter with some tea.

"morning" she replies taking the plate from the eldest's hands and sitting at the table next to mingi and jongho. mingi had a full meal in front of him, and jongho did too. an actual breakfast that would probably keep them energized throughout the long day ahead.

she lays her head on mingi's shoulder while he continues talking to wooyoung about something they saw on TikTok. she carries on eating her sliced apples as she zones out. she feels so tired and exhausted. it's not like she was up late. she went to bed around nine that night.

"are you okay?" jongho nudges her arm

"yeah" she nods with a yawn escaping her mouth.

the morning went by pretty fast. quick practices, warm-ups, and sound checks. everything they've been doing for the last few days, a repeat. they saw some fans, greeting them with smiles, waves, and bows.

finally, they get to the stage they perform, and they talk to fans. it's so refreshing. seeing so many people there just for them was always thrilling. but she felt so tired and drained. and maybe it was visible in the dances, she was hoping that wasn’t the case.

but it was.

that night she was trending on twitter about how skinny she looked. and tired. and exhausted. how her dancing was different. her vocals weren’t the same.

but all she did was go to sleep, refusing to talk to anyone until the next morning.

“9 makes 1 team” the group chanted before going on stage again. she felt better today. she actually ate a good breakfast. had a monster and some water. she is expecting greatness tonight.

but as the night went on the more tired she got. after dancing wonderland she started feeling dizzy, but next was guerrilla and she had to perform that. so she pushed through.

half way through the song her vision went blurry, she almost ran into the other members a few times. but she got through it. that’s all she needed. then she could do outfit change and be calm for the remainder of the concert. but that plan went out the window when she reached for jongho and then collapsed.

the crowd started screaming and yelling as jongho tried holding her up. the lights went out and they all went over to the youngest. hongjoong ushered everyone to go back stage while staff ran on stage.

she stood up shakily, still a little blacked out, but able to walk with assistance. they arrived backstage to the other members, who were quietly getting changed when they heard a staff member speaking to the audience.

“please be patient as we are facing some difficulties”

mean while the fans are still screaming and yelling.

ivy started seeing normally as she walked in. “i’m okay” she whispered as she released herself from the staffs arms.

“you’re not” mingi said walking over and holding her in his arms.

hongjoong looked so severely upset, like he was going to be sick. jongho looked distressed, almost angry. seonghwa was tearing up along with yeosang. san was sitting there silently with his head in his hands. wooyoung was just flat out crying.

she disappointed them. and the fans.

“you need to get help” her boyfriend was practically begging.

hongjoong met her eyes from across the room but she retracted them out of fear of disappointment.

“we can talk about this later, let’s not stress her out anymore” the leader stated as he stood from her seat.

the youngest gave him a thankful look before she was insisted to sit and drink some water. “hand me a fan, mingi” one of the managers said and pointed at on of the hand-held fans on the coffee table.

“let’s get you out of these clothes, sweetie” a stylist insisted. ivy nodded and stood up, taking off some clothing so she wasn’t exposed everyone. she was left in her sports bra and safety shorts. which is normal for everyone to see, she wears them to dance practices or bed depending on the heat.

“you guys have to go” she said as she put on one of mingi’s tshirts and jean shorts. “go”

they all looked around at their managers, who all nodded. they were all dressed and ready, they just didn’t want to leave their youngest member.

hongjoong let out a sigh “let’s go”

tags: @skzfairies @atolua @itzy-eve

#ivy #ateez #deluxeocnet #ateez added member #hongjoong #jongho #kpop added member #ateez 9th member #kpop oc #mingi #san #yeosang #wooyoung #yunho #seonghwa #ivy scenario #ivyupdate #ateez oc #ateez addition #ateez female member #ateez imagine #ateez female oc

[minimitchell]

okay so this isn’t enough to turn this into a full-blown fic but i was so floored by ben actually seeking help for his ed that my head decided to imagine this and i thought i’d just share it with you.

tw disordered eating

.

“Ben, there’s a letter for you.”

Callum is sifting through the stack of papers in his hands, scanning each one over to decide whether he should bin it or open it. They’re not great at sorting through their mail, none of them are, it mostly gets tossed onto the counter in the kitchen to be dealt with later. 

Their bills are automated, as are any other important payments, so there’s no real reason to go through them every day. One of them only ever decides to look through them when the stack on the counter reaches an unacceptable height.

Callum already threw away three advertisements for different home furniture stores and pinned a takeout brochure for that new Greek place on High Street onto the cork board above the sink when he stumbled over the letter addressed to his husband.

Ben is in the bathroom sticking on another load of washing. Lexi managed to cover the only clean uniform skirt she had left in ketchup so an additional round of laundry has to be done. The joys of parenthood. Callum on the other hand decided to tackle the state their kitchen was in so he and Ben could have some guilt-free alone time before Jay fetches Lexi from Honey and Billy’s after work.

“What is it?”

Normally, Callum would have no qualms about opening the letter, they’re married and there’s nothing the other couldn’t or shouldn't know about, but the letter comes from Ben’s therapy place so he doesn’t want to open it for him right now.

Ben crosses the landing into the kitchen, coming to a stop next to Callum. For a moment he leans into Callum’s side; head resting against his husband's biceps. Callum tilts the letter towards him so he can see the sender, glancing at Ben to gage his reaction.

He doesn’t exactly look surprised but he also doesn’t look too enthused about whatever could be hiding inside it. Callum doesn’t want to pry, he wants to give Ben space and privacy, but Ben isn’t moving away from him too far, staying molded against him while he opens the letter. So Callum takes it as permission to discover the contents together with Ben.

His eyes jump ahead over the greetings and well wishes down to the main block of text; to the harsh black letters against the white of the paper. He reads the words ‘opening’,  ‘counseling’ and ‘disordered eating professional’ but his brain is refusing to really take it all in. Ben hasn’t told him he asked for individual counseling. All of this is news to him.

Big news. 

“Individual counseling?”

“I didn’t think they’d refer me so soon.”

Ben sounds far away, staring at the words and seemingly reading them over and over again. As if they’re just a cruel joke and will twist into a let down if he takes his eyes off them for just a second.

He’s deep in thought for another long moment before he looks up at Callum from beside him and his expression makes Callum pause.

There’s a slight film of tears gathering at the base of Ben’s eyes but there’s no sadness in his gaze. He looks more overwhelmed, almost a bit hopeful, and Callum is once again overcome with the onslaught of pride he feels for Ben for the umpteenth time in the last few weeks. 

“You didn’t tell me you spoke about your bulimia.”

“There was this guy in group the other day. He spoke about how he went through the same, he also made himself sick. But it got really bad so he got help and he’s mostly over that now and he feels so much better. And then they explained that it’s pretty common to develop bulimia and stuff. I guess I just wanted to be like him. Better. So I asked Molly about it.”

Callum is following Ben’s explanation with rapt attention, taking in every carefully chosen word. This is a big deal for Ben; he’s acutely aware of that. A few weeks ago Ben confessed to him that he doesn’t know whether he can even beat this and now he has taken all the courage he has to take the first step in beating it. 

He reached out and he sought help, again, and Callum couldn’t be more aware of the feat that is for someone like Ben. 

“That’s amazing, babe.”

“She said they’ll let me know when someone’s available. It says here I just need to call and make an appointment.”

Callum reaches his arm around Ben’s shoulder to pull him tightly against his body again, letting Ben tuck his head into the crook of Callum’s neck. 

“I’m proud of you, you know. For seeking help, for telling Jay. I know how hard that is for you. You’re doing well.”

Ben sets the letter down on the counter where it originally came from and wraps his now empty hands around Callum’s middle, crossing them over Callum’s back and holding on tight. Callum’s own hand wanders to Ben’s back; up and down, rubbing soothing circles over Ben’s shirt.

He still has a long way to go and there will be a lot of ups and downs along the way, they both know that. But for now, Callum silently celebrates another huge step Ben has taken.

They’ll worry about the pressing matters later - about actually making the appointment, about hanging up the washing when their rack is still full of wet clothes from the other wash, about lunches that need to be packed and the shirts that need to be ironed.

This moment is for them. For Ben.

#ballum #ballum fic #my writing #idk guys ben just made such a huge step and it was told to us so casually. i just needed more #maybe you do too

[frogprincesnowglobe]

One thing I was surprised about in Season 3 was the lack of subtlety. It's not necessarily a bad thing, and maybe I shouldn't have been surprised but. Season 1 had so much subtext and things left unsaid that you pick up. Things where you are reading between the lines. Showing, not telling.

Season 3, everyone is just verbally saying everything. For example, in season 1, we hear Husmor tell Felice to put up her hair but not the other girls, and the other girls follow suit in outting up their hair. What could be perceived as a racial micro aggression. No mentions in season 2. In season 3, Felice verbally states that Husmor singles her out. In season 1, we can extrapolate from August's habits that he has an eating disorder. In Season 3, a character flat out states that it sounds like he has an eating disorder. Season 1, we see people look at Simon funny in the grocery store after the video is leaked. His sudden being in the spotlight isn't explored in season 2, but in season 3, a whole rock is thrown through his window, and we find out that off screen pride flags were burned. Season 1 might make you wonder what the third year boys initiation was when Erik was a third year. Season 3, it's flat out stated what exactly happened.

I've seen lots of posts about people wanting things like that to be brought up in season 3 and addressed. I wonder if this stems from that? Or if it's just a little less subtexty than season 1.

#yr s3 spoilers #young royals #waffling here

[journeyintofiction]

hey can u do another shuri x reader where the reader has an ed and shuri doesn't notice it at first because of being in the lab so much but finally does when it gets really bad. its okay if you're not okay with writing about this topic I've just been struggling with mine rn.

TRIGGER WARNING: this fic will discuss an eating disorder, not in depth but still can be very hard to read, so if this is triggering please, please, please do not read! Your mental health comes first so feel free to pass on this one :) I am writing this purely from my own experiences and everyone's experience is different and valid. 

To the anon: I am so sorry you have been struggling recently :( just know that you, your thoughts, and your feelings are 100% valid!

Word count: 0.8k

Happy reading :)

It's been 13 days.

Shuri has been in the lab consistently for 19 hours a day for 13 days in a row. I know realistically this is her way of coping with grief and coming to terms with her brothers and mothers death. But I can’t help but feel forgotten and cast aside during her mourning period.

“Will you be joining us for breakfast Ms.Y/N?”

I turn to the door of my room and see Aneka and Ayo looking in my direction with curiosity and thinly veiled concern.

I shake my head and give them a brittle smile, “No not this morning, I went on a walk earlier and got some fruits afterward.”

They look at me for a second then nod and say, “As you wish.”

I knew they were concerned, to be honest, everyone was worried about me and it was obvious in the way they looked at me. I knew that I was restricting myself again even though I consciously knew I shouldn't. Shuri was a big help in getting me to recover from my eating disorder, she made sure I ate, got the right balance in food, and always fostered a positive environment around food. Since she was in the lab 24/7 now, I started to relapse and go back to my way of thinking. Between the stress of everything I just started to eat less and less partly because I didn’t think I deserved to eat without her.

I sigh and get up to tidy my room a bit before I decide to try and go to the lab, which she locked me out of earlier in the week. I think that's what triggered me into a downward spiral, the denial of my presence hurt deeply. It may not have been done with malice, but it was excruciatingly painful nonetheless. As I fold up some clothes I look at myself in the mirror and I’m genuinely taken aback by the person staring back at me. I didn’t realize that not eating consistently and in good quantities would take effect so fast but it was scary. My face looked thinner, I looked paler than usual, and I had dark circles under my eyes that seemed pronounced.

I move from the mirror on the verge of tears because I can’t stand to see myself so I quickly finish tidying up and move to the door and open it. I see two Doras stationed outside my door who look at me with concern and I just muster up my best smile and say hello before moving down the hallway.

I reach the lab doors and attempt to open them to no avail and with a huff, I call out, “Griot?”

“Yes Ms.Y/N?”

“Can you tell Shuri I would like to see her as it is urgent?”

I wait expecting a reply from Griot, but to my surprise, Shuri herself opens the doors to the lab. She waves me in and I take a moment to examine her, she looks sad and tired but otherwise healthy. When I get into her area of the lab and sit down she turns to fully look at me and she frowns deeply. I see Okoye and Nakia are one room over and the only thing separating us is the soundproof glass. They smile and nod to me before turning their backs to give us privacy, at least the glass was soundproof so they wouldn’t hear the extent of our conversation.

I look back at Shuri and she looks upset but before I can speak she says, “Have I done this to you?”

I take note of the pained expression she wears and the sadness in her voice as if it physically pains her to see my slowly relapsing. I bite my lip and say, “I’m not going to lie, you are partly the reason but the majority of the fault lies with me.”

She looks pained and just nods then asks, “do you…eat enough?”

I know this is her way of asking if I eat three times a day and snack in between while also trying to not trigger me. I decide to be honest and shake my head and hear her sharply inhale before gently taking my hands in hers.

She pulls me into a hug, “I’m sorry my love.”

I shake my head, “Don’t be sorry, you were grieving and you still are.”

She stops me and looks dumbfounded for a moment, “That doesn’t mean I have an excuse to stop caring for those I love.”

I just nod, “Please, just don’t shut me out of the beautiful head of your Shuri.”

She takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes, “ We will get better together, right?”

I smile and nod, “Yes, together.”

A/N: Hello wonderful people! If you made it to the end, thank you as I know this is an exceptionally heavy topic to discuss and write about. Again this was written from my own personal experience and I wasn’t super explicit because I don’t want to trigger anyone! As always my requests are open :) 

#shuri x y/n #shuri x reader #shuri fanfiction #shuri udaku

[l0lz1ez-x3]

okay so uh. venting here because my vents in my discord server are so common no one really pays attention anymore (so fucking stupid because then they expect me to respond to theirs.)

tw/cw; verbal abuse, threats of physical abuse, mentions of eating disorders, and emotional abuse (maybe mental to!! gotta love my mom.)

honestly I'm so fucking done. I'm tired of this, I just want a break. I need a break. it's been fucking 6 years and 3 months, I can barely do this anymore. i literally hate my mom, she's exhausting. short context; she started fat shaming and verbally abusing me when I was 7 (which was also around the time that I started getting heavily bullied. yay.) and surprise, surprise! it's still going on. I don't even know what I did, it was like just one day she switched completely honestly. she's rarely physically abusive thank God but when she is then it's questionable. either random shit like smacking me for no goddamn reason or shoving an entire plate of buffalo wings and ranch in my face because I asked her to give me a second and she "didn't hear me" and thought I was being "disrespectful". (this happened last year around Christmas time and the next day she acted like nothing happened and said it was MY fault.)

I literally never do anything wrong, I do my homework on time and if I miss a day then I make up for it and I do extra, my rooms always clean, I always help take care of the dogs and other animals, I help clean and cook, and other small things like getting things she can't reach, watching the dogs when she goes out, helping when my grandfather falls (despite him being a pedophile.) yet all I get in return as a thank you is fucking abuse. pure and utter verbal and emotional abuse for no reason while she favorites my brother. it's so fucking stupid honestly I'm tired of the threats from her saying she'll literally beat me for no reason, she'll get rid of my dog (I say mine because he's only here because I beg her to keep him because he was around when my now dead dog was, and he means a lot to me.), or saying she'll burn, throw away, or cut up my crochet, clay, resin, and knitted projects that I spend weeks to months on. and if it's not that then it's the verbal abuse, calling me rude names and fat shaming me for simply eating a little more than usual, or blaming me for shit I didn't do, yelling at me for no reason, calling me rude shit when I cry, telling me she'll "give me something to cry about" and raising her hand like she'll hit me. yet she wonders why I flinch so much around her. or why I stay in my room, or don't want to talk to her. every time I bring this up to her in a mature way she'll just tell me I should be "grateful" because she's a "great mom" and that IM the abusive one. and, just to clarify, I rarely talk to her. if she asks me anything I literally just answer with "okay", "mhm", "no", or "yeah I know".

change of subject, so, I have POTS syndrome and that means my heart rate changes drastically and my blood pressure drops when I change positions from sitting to standing or from laying to sitting, and when I push myself to do more difficult things like running or lifting heavy things (the change in blood pressure and heart rate can make me really dizzy or I can just straight up whiteout. it's scary when that happens but I've learnt to deal with it for the most part) and she uses that against me along with my autism, saying they're my fault because I "wasn't born this way" and it's my fault because I'm "so overweight". heads up, my heart doctor literally TOLD HER MULTIPLE TIMES that symptoms of POTS show up in the teen to young adult age and have a chance of going away, and for the weight? literally an endocrinologist told her multiple times that my weight is fine and she shouldn't focus on that, because guess what? the things affecting me the most right now is high testosterone and my slight Insulin resistance WHICH RUNS IN BOTH SIDES OF THE FUCKING FAMILY. and quick mention, I'm the healthiest out of my entire family. yet she'll still obsess over this shit. it's tiring, I've already had an eating disorder when I was around 10 because of the heavy fat shaming which lead me to STARVE MYSELF. then I got better from that and she started restricting my food to less than what I NEEDED so I had to hide food in my room to eat when I'd get hunger pains FROM NOT EATING and if she'd find them when she'd search my room? threats of physical abuse, yelling, verbal abuse, and her yet again bodyshaming me and calling me a hog or a pig.

on the topic of weight loss or eating disorders, I've lost over 27 pounds in the span of 3 months. not by choice, but because of her forcing me to work out. when she's been told by two different doctors that my weight ISNT THE ISSUE. it's fucking disgusting. she's disgusting. disgusting and a piece of shit. I just want to be happy, I want to feel appreciated and loved again instead of like I do now. I can't even fucking remember the last time I had any type of affection that wasn't from people online, I'm tired. I'm just so, so tired. I need this to end soon before I end up doing something stupid again. I don't want to fuck up again :(

#vent #tw verbal abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw abuse #im tired #i need a break #i need to be sedated #i just want to be loved #i hate her #im sorry #this is a waste of time. #rant

[misplaced-misfit-in-the-void]

Little introduction

Big TRIGGER WARNINGS, such as self harm, suicidal ideation, somewhat distorted eating, self hatred and in general mental illnesses. Block me if you feel uncomfortable with what I'm posting.

This is not my main blog so i can't follow people back. I mainly come from Vent app.

⚫ I am lesbian and I am taken, which means that NO I am not interested,I have a girlfriend and I'm absolutely happy. And no, I am not interested in men WHATSOEVER. Nor I'm interested in inappropriate conversations. But I'm happy to chat.

⚫ I am acespec (graysexual and demisexual/demiromantic).

⚫ I am mentally ill. I have cptsd, ptsd, bpd (borderline personality disorder), depression and anxiety disorder. And YES I am self diagnosed and I'm very much pro self diagnosis (only well researched ones).

⚫ I am poor and i live in a country with shit mental health care so I can't afford therapy (which i need) or getting any official diagnosis.

⚫ I have autism and adhd (both self diagnosed).

⚫ I self harm (it is also an addiction for me) and NO I DO NOT romanticize or glorifyi self harming behavior. If anything i always try to help people if i can with it. But here i do vent about it and how it makes me feel.

⚫ I am highly suicidal. I had two attempts before. Telling me it's not worth it or i shouldn't think about it won't work and it's not helpful.

⚫ I do live with my abuser still. My abuser is bitch mother. Yes that's how call her even though she deserves to be called even worse for what she has done to me.

⚫ I am pagan so please don't preach. If you'll respect my religion, i will respect yours.

⚫ I am very pro-Palestine and pro-Ukraine. I hate tankies (aka communists that are pro-russia and all that bs). I come from a European country that's been occupied by Soviet union for more than 40 years before so my stance is clear.

⚫ I do accept DMs but i am not afraid to block and report if anything.

⚫ I have body dysmorphia.

⚫ I hate assumptions and rushed recommendations. If you want to help me, maybe ask first how can you be helpful. Otherwise don't be surprised if I'll be very dismissive or even aggressive.

⚫ Be nice with me and I'll be nice with you.

#vent blog #venting #self harm #self hatred #bpd #borderline personality disorder #bpd shit #cptsd #ptsd #autism #adhd #self diagnosis #self diagnosed #mentally ill #depression #anxiety disorder #suicidal #suicidal ideation #Introduction

[unholybinchicken]

thoughts under the cut. if you're a fan of bl*ire wh*te, firstly fuck off and secondly don't read this because you won't like what i have to say.

i've watched a few jubilee middle ground episodes (despite the fact that i think that series panders to conservatives and probably shouldn't involve people having to justify their existence to the likes of ari*lle scarc*lla and bl*ire wh*te who most definitely aren't there to find middle ground).

i don't know why i was surprised to find so many people siding with bl*ire in the trans conservatives vs trans "liberals" (i use "liberals" in inverted commas because i think the people who run jubilee have a very binary/trinary view of politics and can't quite comprehend that there are people further left than "liberal") but i guess when in doubt, claim you were threatened and you'll get sympathy points.

the thing with bl*ire wh*te is that she has such a long history of harassing people online, including lying about other people and misrepresenting people online to elevate herself over gendernonconforming trans folks, which has had dire real life ramifications for these individual people. i personally know someone who was harmed by being unwillingly cast in one of blaire's attempts to present gendernonconforming trans people as cringey and an affront to her as a model minority all because she lacks a fundamental understanding of what being transgender actually is. the impact of blaire's behaviour (as well as kalvin garrah, who also made a ridiculously video of this person which led to his fans trying to get their disability pension taken away) affects them to this day.

bl*ire doesn't want to help the lgbtq+ community or educate people about trans issues. blaire is bitter because she didn't get to be the high school mean girl growing up and so she's doing that as an adult in her 30s. bitch wants to be quinn fabray sooooo fucking bad but the best she can hope for is season 4 kitty wilde (when she was still a white supremacist who gave someone else an eating disorder). what bl*ire wants is to have social capital over other people and exploit that in front of her online audience.

so when she claims that the other side of the trans liberals vs trans conservatives debate "threatened" her, it's very hard to sympathise with her.

(and honestly it's very hard to believe her)

i also think the trans liberals side could have used some stronger participants, but it's symptomatic of my main issue with jubilee, which is that on any "pro- vs anti-" or "liberal vs conservative", the liberal side will be average joe blow off the street, and the conservative side will be people who are literally paid to shill conservative viewpoints. prager u people and the like.

honestly, that one nonbinary participant was right to call bl*ire disgusting, because that's a pretty accurate way to describe her behaviour.

#anti blaire white #my thoughts #this user doesn't support blaire white #nonbinary #lgbtq #anti terf #anti conservative #anti jubilee #jubilee critical

[jess-moloney]

She is following a lot of snowboard related people recently. Maybe she tries to make this her new brand in case Jamie breaks up with her. And suddenly we will see her dating a pro snowboarder or something like that.

Either she's trying to build a new image as a snowboarder (even though she's obviously terrible at it) or she's trying to get Jamie's attention like "Look I like the same things you do". Too little too late on that end.

I wouldn't be surprised if she's trying to build up some sort of X-Games girl image, though. She already pretended to be some kind of championship marathon runner for years. She pretended to have qualified for Iron Man and made a big fuss about that before she conveniently got injured "just before" the race and couldn't attend.

Jess, for some reason, thinks or wants to be this fitness/sports girl (though every shred of evidence that exists shows that she only wants the image and doesn't do the actual work). My guess in all of this is that her "fitness" stuff and her sporty reputation are just a cover for an eating disorder. So she can starve herself and claim it's because she's "in training". A lot of people use this training thing as a cover for eating disorders, men and women, it's incredibly common. But because "being fit" is seen as healthy it gets easily overlooked. Someone who has been "training" and doing "sports" as long as she has (or claims to) shouldn't be so awful at literally every sport she also attempts to do, and yet somehow she is just terrible at everything.

I don't know why she'd pick this image to fake when there are so many things I'm sure she could legitimately do and build a brand around. However, maybe you're right, maybe she's hitting the slopes so much now trying to find some pro-snowboarding sugar daddy to take care of her because she knows whatever she has with Jamie is either over or quickly coming to an end.

#jess moloney #jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #mail

[fatphobiabusters]

ok so i get what 'food is good' and 'health at every size' mean now but i just grew up learning about the food pyramid and 'junk' food and fat people beint told to 'lay down the cake' so it's surprising to hear about it, and the thing i asked about 'so its ok to eat french fries every week or a whole chocolate bar at once' are things i would like to do but my parents dont like when i have 'too much' candy, and i see how those tv shows about fat people are like the modern equivalent to 'freak' circuses, but the thing is your body lets you know when you're full, so i find it hard to believe one would get to several hundred pounds from overeating, in other words, i think 'obese' people are fat because they're sick, not the other way around

“also my mother has been commenting positively on me losing weight when she knows it happened bc i was so sick i couldn't drink water without throwing up, and now that i can eat and hold down candy again she acts almost upset about it(?)”

In this fight against fatphobia, this fight to prove to the world that we as fat people are worthy of respect and care and love, it can feel very tempting to try to justify ourselves to those who look down on us.

We often want to bring up health and whatnot and try to tell the fatphobes "Look! Here's proof that we can be healthy too!" We often want to determine what makes us the way we are. We want to distance ourselves from people who are not the "right kind" of fat. We want to tell the world "See? Here's another way we conform! So that's yet another reason not to hate us!"

The thing though is that just by being human, we deserve respect and care and love. We shouldn't have to prove to fatphobes that we can conform, that our bodies meet their standards, that some of us fat people are okay compared to the rest. I often fall to this myself. I very often point out to people how genetics majorly determine weight, how a lot of fat people are healthy. But we let fatphobes win by trying to justify to them our bodies. Why someone is fat honestly shouldn't matter. Will I keep pointing out genetics? Probably yeah since the world is still so full of fatphobic myths. But no matter the cause of someone's weight, that doesn't change that they deserve to be treated with humanity. If we focus on who has an excuse for being fat, we are doing more harm to ourselves. Yes, most of us are fat due to genetics. Yes, weight loss is not possible for over 95% of people long term. Yes, weight can be determined by disabilities and socioeconomic status and food desserts and and and...

But why I'm fat should not matter. I am fat. That is probably never going to change without starvation and suffering.

Spending my time and energy and effort on excusing my fatness just tells society that being fat is something that needs an excuse, a reason. Trying to figure out why someone is 400 pounds does neither me nor them no benefit. Fatphobes want us to justify our existences and determine who is acceptably fat. Someone who is 400 pounds, 500 pounds, what have you, has just as much of a right to exist as anyone else, and their body and health is no one's business but their own.

Fat people, just like any other oppressed group, do not need to justify our right to exist.

And Commenting on someone’s weight is a very shitty thing to do. I’m sorry she did that with you and tried to encourage weight loss, especially when it was happening in the first place due to sickness. You being able to hold down food again is a great thing!! No matter what she says, it is good for you to not starve. It is good to have nutrients from food and enjoy the food you eat. The next time she acts upset over you not starving, try to remind yourself that she has been influenced by our culture of disordered eating. You know what your body wants and you deserve to eat. I’m proud of you for continuing to nourish yourself despite her reactions.

-Mod Worthy

_____

Mod squirrel:

Obese is an arbitrary label, those people on the TV show from the episodes I've seen do over eat because of trauma a lot of the time. Thing is the emotional work and recovery from those eating disorders aren't the focus it's the surgery, which is the flaw of the format. Some people do push themselves and over eat because of EDs/trauma. Because the show is so toxic I'd hesitate to reference them all but tldr I'm not obese because I'm sick, so I'd avoid thinking all obese people exist because of illness. Often illnesses cause weight gain but there's so many factors in the human body it's just important to keep possibilities in mind there's no one reason a person is obese.

You can have your sweets and your body will let you know when enough is enough. You have permission to enjoy French fries or a chocolate bar. Or both. You sound like you live in a shitty household so it's going to be hard to unlearn fatphobia and toxic food behaviors. It's sicking your mom would act like that.

#Mod Worthy #Ask #Cr0nch noodle #O word #Ed mention