#they peak in the middle and then get worse tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shakirawastaken · 1 year

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dsmp if....they fell in love with you at first sight

lowkey this sucks im so sorry but number 6 has been written dream:

- this happened before he face revealed - so he went out to the grocery store or smth with a mask and sunglasses so if anyone recognized him they wouldn't like see what he looked like - pulled a ranboo fr - anyway he entered the cat food aisle looking for the best cat food for patches our beloved - and was so enthralled in the cat food that he didn't hear you walk by with your cart trying to get past the aisle - "excuse me sir can u please move???" "*is looking at cat food*" "sir?" "OH IM SO SORRY" - moves immediately but not before he makes eye contact with you through the glasses - his eyes widen comically, he thinks ur gorgeous - takes advantage of that fact that you cant see his eyes and continue to admire your face as you laugh and wave ur wrist in the air, swatting away the awkward interaction just like that - you walk away and he forces his mind to go back to the cat food - but god ur imprinted in his brain and he knows he cant just let you leave - so he grabs whatever cat food he sees and runs around the store looking for you - sees you leaving and went "NOPE" - in his head - RUNS to you but slows down before he gets to you so u don't fucking murder him - "hey uh" "oh hi!" "i thought you were really cute...and i couldn't just let u leave the store without tryna get ur number" "oh :) thanks! but idk what u look like.." "right" - whips that shit off in the middle of walmart mask off challenge succeed - ur face: :O - "yeah u can have my number" "LETS GO" - speedran that shit basically

sapnap: - met u in highschool me thinks - in the peak of his i play minecraft everyday era - just showed up at school to be there yk - and you were there but never really interacted with him - until one day you had to sit next to him in english class - life OVER for him tbh he made eye contact with you and nodded like an idiot as you introduced yourself - “wow ur pretty im nick” *facepalmed internally* - youre like aw - u become friends - seating chart friendships and romances >>> - now he actually has a reson to go to school events like hoco and prom and stuff - “sorry dream ive got to to go homecoming” “motherfucker with who?” - you ask him to hoco as friends cause yk he hasnt been out much and he gratefully accepts - awkward dancing in the back - as the year progresses the two of you keep in contact even as you got moved apart in the class you sat next to - you met dream and george that was nice - prom came around and he new brother knew he had to do SOMETHING - so he made a prom posal that was like “will you be MINE(craft) at prom” or something like that - and u were like “finally” - fast forward some years and ur doing whatever u want and hes doing what hes doing now - he never formally asked you out but its implied youve been dating for years - this one sucked mb

george: - god the british - hate them/j - youre not british in this story okay - and if ur british irl,,,im sorry for ur ailment/j - ANYWAY - youre a tourist ur visiting the good old u of k - ur in london obv - and george never leaves his flat there - except to get groceries - so he walks to the nearest grocery store bc he literally cant drive - and bumps into you its the classic omg so sorry i bumped into you romance - except he thought that was awkward and kinda went “sorry” looked down at the ground and sprinted forward - you were like “the british are.....odd” - george then realized that was worse and turned around to apologize to you - and then fell in love with you - u were taking a picture on ur camera of just like the scenery of london - and we like “omg theyre cute and they appreciate the little things” - gets on discord and texts sapnap “im in love” and then sapnap goes “me too with ur mom” - logs off discord now - walks up to you sheepishly and was like “haha sorry for doing that it was a dare by my friend” and u were like “its ok:)” ad then hes like “yk what isnt a dare” and u were like “hmm what” and he was like “me asking for your number cause ur so cute” - and u were malfunctioning cause u didnt expect cute british man to ask you on a date while u were in the u of k - but u said yes and then he realized ur accent and was like “ar eyou not british” and u were like “no.” and he was like “thats okay! im skilled with long distance relationships ;)” - unknowingly flirts with you - you skull emojied and then joined him on his trip to the grocery store IDK this one was bad im sorry

karl: - YOURE IN A MR BEAST CHALLENGE - oh oh OH the amount of things in my brain running through - anyway u were a subscriber of Mr jimmy beast so he was like "come be in a video" - its one of those last to leave the circle loses - each cast member is paired with a participant and whoever wins gets 50,000 and the cast member gets like 10,000 or smtn - and jimmy had them all pick a name out of a hat to make it simple - and karl didn't pick u - nolan did - but when they walked out to meet the participants and karl made eye contact with you for a split second - god he fell right there - couldn't help but imagine what loving you would be like - knew he wanted to experience that - but he couldn't do that if he wasn't even paired with you - so he BEGS nolan to switch - "dude please cmon" "what do i get out of it??" "if i win ill give you the money" "oh shit ok" - now he's paired with you HE MASTERMINDED THAT SHIT LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT - anyway you were like "shit he's cute ill win now" - ur dynamic is amazing jimmy loves it for the video - the whole time u both are playfully flirting and just being yourselves around each other its amazing - he tries to cheat to help you LOL but gets caught with a sheepish smile on his face - that's when u fall i swtg - anyway - the filming for the video goes for like 2 and a half days so you spend a lotttt of time with karl dearest - you lose in the end tho bc in ur sleep u accidentally kicked ur foot outside the circle - you're a bit defeated - after thanking u all jimmy sends you off - and u smile and thank him and karl and head off - but then you hear a "PIT PAT PIT PAT" of feet slapping concrete behind you - "wait can i have ur number? :)" "i thought you wouldn't ask :)" and u give him ur number number for number - jimmy mischievously smiles in the background before returning to his beast lair

quackity: - LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL YOU MET THERE STOP STOP STOP - stop college romances kill me for real - guys - k I'm good - met at orientation i feel - or not met - he laid eyes on you from across the room and he was like oh shoot this place is better than i thought it would be - LOL - runs across the whole room to snag the seat next to you - "hey I'm alex, whats your name?" "oh I'm y/n!" - bro squealed inside - "i like ur name!" "thanks :) urs is nice too" - u both talked for the rest of the welcome ceremony thing - compared schedules and had...nothing together for the first semester - thATS OK you still exchanged numbers - and you kept talking and hanging out even if u didn't have class - but as friends. - AAAAAAAAAAAAA you fell for him somewhere in the middle but both of you were like - we need to finish law school first in your heads - so u both skated on the line between romance and friends - like the song boyfriend by ariana grande - but when the end of law school was in sight? quackity didn’t waste a single second - BAM got ur number BAM took u on a date BAM yk

wilbur: - fell in love with you at first sight except you didnt see him he just saw you - here’s the thing right hes the biggest hamilton fan - so when he went to see hamilton with tommy and all them - YOU WERE THERE you were in the cast you played angelica/eliza/peggy literally one of the three female main characters - ANYWAY you were screaming the lyrics to one of the songs and wilbur kinda just went “woah” - didnt see anyone else on the stage but you when you walked out - tommy was like “did u see the bullet wil” and he wa slike “no” - forced tommy to stage door after the show - prayed to all the theater gods that you came outside - when you did? game over for him - he stood there stawstruck awstruck jawstruck - aND the same happened for you!!! bc u knew who he was ofc - u had a lovejoy poster in ur dressing room duh - so by the time you came round to him and tommy you were like “heheheh” and giggling “hi omg im a big fan of your music and stuff :)” and he was like “mIne?” - his voice cracked - you giggled and you both took pictures with each other on your phones - then u invited him backstage - and he wa slike LHJSKHFSDFKGHJERT - LEFT TOMMY AT STAGE DOOR - you showed him around including on stage - and this went on for a while hed just show up a stage door and youd let him in - one day you were both on the stage and he started humming helpless and you both started dancing - and then he was like “i rlly am helpless for you, id like to try and make this something more if ur up for it” - and you were like WOOOOOO yk

#dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap x reader #georgenotfound x reader #karl jacobs x reader #quackity x reader #wilbur soor x reader #dream x reader #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #x reader #shakira shakira writes #dsmp imagines #mcyt imagines

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bringthekaos · 1 month

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MH Viktor being 100× more sensitive because he barely takes his armor off + Jayce being 100× more touch-starved since their fallout to the point that he can't spend a second without at least an inch of his body doing contact with his lover = peak fiction.

Assfadagdaaff I agreeeee. And TBH if/when I write a PotM sequel, this is probably gunna play a huge part.

—not NSFW per se, but suggestive as hell—

For Viktor, he has spent the last 6+ years focusing on his Glorious Evolution™ with little to no time/effort spared on connection or intimacy. And any sort of sexual dalliances he entertained were purely casual. In fact I can see him, on his more bitter days, actively shying away from anything of a romantic nature—if his hookups dared to get too close, he would lance them from his life without a second thought. But this of course has some unintended side effects—namely his sensitivity. He doesn’t have a whole lot of flesh left, but what remains has become hyper-reactive; after all, he’s weaned himself off of gentle touches, of soft caresses. His hookups were only ever rough. And he’s doing his best not to cringe and pull away from Jayce, now that they’re kinda sorta rekindling things, but it’s difficult—he reacts to it like a sudden bee sting. And it’s not because he doesn’t like it, of course he does, especially from Jayce, it’s just that he had associated gentleness, intimacy with that feeling of betrayal. Rewiring his brain is going to take time, and he has to tell Jayce as much, because the first time Viktor cringed and pulled away, Jayce looked at him like he’d ran him through. But Jayce understands, so he does make an effort to go slow, to be careful and intentional with his touches, even though he’s clearly hungry for so much more. And every once in a while, when Jayce is able to coax him into accepting more—a long massage, perhaps—he becomes like putty in Jayce’s hands. His walls just melt away, and Jayce can have him shivering in minutes; he knows all the right places, all the right touches that can make Viktor blue screen. It’s vulnerable, and Viktor isn’t always prepared to be vulnerable, but when he is… Jayce could spend days just soaking up Viktor’s trust (and his moans of pleasure 😈).

And Jayce… Jayce is suffering a bit of separation anxiety. He knows he has to build back up to this, that he can’t just throw himself at Viktor… but just being around him is painful. He can hardly stand it, sharing Viktor’s space without touching him. He has to catch himself, because it’s second nature—resting a hand on Viktor’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist and just holding him close. And he doesn’t want to put the cart before the horse, test Viktor’s boundaries before they’ve even been reestablished. Especially when Viktor reacts like a spooked deer half the time. But they’re both working on it. They’re walking a bit of a tightrope, as things stand, a hazy twilight sort of phase—it’s all so delicate, and they could both stand to be hurt if it all goes wrong. So they’re taking baby steps, even though it’s agonizing a lot of the time. But occasionally, when their respective anxieties can be quelled and they can meet in the middle… it’s paradise. Jayce can cozy up to Viktor, ease him into it, and have him melting in Jayce’s hands in no time. He can have those vents steaming, the metal quaking. And it’s like taking a hit off something strong, for Jayce—touching and being touched by Viktor is a drug to him now, after such a long stint of separation. And yes, sometimes his separation anxiety gets worse after, because he’s had a taste, a hit. He’s working on that too.

They both have a lot to work on, but neither of them has ever shied away from hard work. And they’re both painfully aware that it can never be like it was. There’s too much history, too much pain. But maybe, just maybe, they can forge something new.

#arcane #jayvik #jayce talis #arcane Jayce #arcane viktor #machine herald viktor #viktor the machine herald #jayvik divorce era #reconciliation era???#asks #ace answers

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depressopax · 2 months

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Dale Cooper NSFW Alphabet

Part 4 - Q-T

Fandom - Twin Peaks

» Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 «

Pairing: Dale Cooper x gender-neutral reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. MDNI! Public sex, toys, mentions of pregnancies. Words: 0.6k Summary: Part 4 of my Dale Cooper NSFW alphabet challenge. Q-T (Quickie, risk, stamina, toys) English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 » AO3 link || Masterlist || Request «

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Dale is not that big of a fan when it comes to quickies tbh

He wants to take his time and savor every moment with you.

…And really take his time when fucking you/getting fucked

But another reason he doesn’t like them is because he’s needy in bed.

Once started, he can spend hours pleasuring you. The thought of you leaving if you for example need to leave for work after a quickie is a turn-off and frustrates him.

He doesn’t see the point of them and thinks they’re “too messy”

However, if you're both in the mood he’ll make an exception 👀

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He’s pretty vanilla and honestly weirded out by BDSM etc 😭

He would NEVER judge someone for their sexual preferences, but he’d be like “Oh🧍”

He’s open to experiment, and since he’s a switch the possibilities are endless ;)

He prefers using condoms when having sex

As an extra protection, to prevent pregnancies but also because it feels like the least messy option.

He’s not a risk taker - meaning he doesn’t feel comfortable with doing it in public either.

At least not initiate it himself.

Once, you probably gave him a handjob when in public only to watch him go all flustered in nervous; You once teased him under the table, feeling him grow hard. He gave you a warning glance to which you smiled sheepishly. You slid your hand into his pants and felt his hardened member twitch against your palm. “Not here! What if we… Fuck…” …And then he was lost. He felt too good to be nervous and all he could do was lean back and try to act unbothered - while trying to not moan. “...You’re gonna get so punished for this.”

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His sex drive isn’t that high, but when in the middle of the act?

Homeboy can go at it for HOURS

He’ll alter between using his dick, hands and tongue.

After climax - with the right amount of teasing and touching - he recovers quickly.

When he’s on top or dominating you, he usually edges himself to heighten the pleasure but also so he lasts longer.

He LOVES climaxing at the same time as you, and will wait so you can “come together” lol

However… If he’s being a bottom or sub, he doesn’t last long.

The right amount of teasing and you moving on top of him is enough for him to lose control.

It gets worse when you taunt him for it too - it only turns him on further 😭

He cums quickly - luckily his stamina is high so you can continue having fun ;)

Sometimes it might even get a bit overwhelming for you.

He’d be so energetic in bed honestly

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Pretty clueless when it comes to toys.

He finds one of your sex toys, totally fascinated by it lmao

“So… You use this to… Masturbate?” “...Yea” “Awesome! Can I try it on you?”

A bit weirded out at first

But he really likes using them on you

…And on himself too

That’s not something he tells you, tho.

But if you buy him a sex toy and use it on him, he wouldn’t complain at all ;)

Once comfortable with toys, he buys you toys to use alone or with him.

The thought of you using a toy he brought to satisfy yourself turns him on.

…And then he discovered he has a kink for sex-toys.

Seriously, he’ll buy you all kinds of toys to try. One of the few times he’ll be risky in bed 🤭

Thanks for reading! If you've made it this far - Please check out my very first chapter fanfiction! I'll link it down below. It would mean a lot to me, if not to read but to like or share! Thank you. <3 Take care!!

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gncmaya · 2 years

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I’ve been lurking on radblr for a few months and I finally decided to make a radfem blog so I can reblog stuff without getting harassed for terf thought crimes and connect with other radfems.

I peaked on accident. I just so happened to come across a radfem blog while I was in the middle of trying to come to terms with my then-conflicted feelings about my gender. I ID’d as nonbinary/agender for a few years in high school because I hated (and still do, tbh) femininity and I didn’t “feel” like a woman. I never wore makeup or dresses/skirts, dressed for comfort rather than fashion, had short hair, hated my breasts and the fact that I was capable of getting pregnant, had “traditionally male” interests like math/science and video games, etc etc etc. I genuinely felt disconnected from the concept of girlhood. Using they/them pronouns felt nice for the first few months, but all it really did was make me even more uncomfortable with being referred to as a girl. My friends were supportive, but my constant focus on my gender and what pronouns people used for me and how I was presenting myself was just making me feel worse and more insecure. I stopped IDing as nb near the end of high school, but I still didn’t feel comfortable calling myself a woman, and my “gender identity” existed in a limbo state of not being cis or trans all throughout my undergrad.

I wished I could call myself a woman because I’m “AFAB” (though I was also too scared to admit it at first), but I knew that of any reason someone could identify as a woman, that was the one reason you weren’t allowed to have. And I knew the ~evil fascist terfs~ were the only ones saying “yes, it’s okay that you’re woman just because of your sex, no special ‘woman feelings’ required” so I decided to stick around to read through that radfem’s blog. It was hate reading at first, yeah, the blatant transphobia (aka calling transwomen male lmao) pissed me off and I didn’t understand where all the hate was coming from.

But there was this sinking feeling in my chest that kept me coming back to her blog (and soon after, as many other radfem blogs as I could find) even after I clicked off in anger again and again. Because the more I looked into radical feminism, the more I saw other beliefs of radical feminists: anti-porn, anti-prostitution, anti-makeup, anti-patriarchal religion — things I already agreed with but never felt like I could voice in libfem spaces — and I thought to myself “finally, this is where the real feminists are.” I realized I had been lied to about what radfems believed, and just never… looked into it myself.

Radfems were making so much sense, but I didn’t want to be transphobic. I was told being gender critical was actually horrible, but no, it was exactly what I thought it was. The only reason it’s a Bad Opinion is because it’s incompatible with trans ideology. I looked for a libfem/trans-approved definition of woman only to realize… there wasn’t one. It’s just circular logic and references to this nebulous, ever-changing “woman feeling” that can’t be explained. It doesn’t make sense, none of it.

I’m still struggling with the guilt of being ~transphobic~ but I can’t rationalize gender ideology any more and I can’t ignore the harm they’re doing to women and the LGB community. I’m so glad I found radical feminism. Letting myself finally say that I’m a woman because I’m female is so freeing. Like a weight has been lifted off my chest and I can stop forcing myself to ignore this huge amount of cognitive dissonance. There’s nothing I have to do or think or feel or wear — I just am.

I am a woman.

#radfem #radical feminism #radfems do interact #radfem safe #terfs do interact #terfs do touch #radfems please interact #radfems please touch #and by a few months I mean nearly a year lmao #this was a bit longer than I expected #I really needed to vent apparently #I can't exactly talk to any of my irls about this

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rukbats · 8 months

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Just remembered this one thing but when I was a kid I used to be very, very thin. Like, concerningly so. The reasons why are not relevant but it was probably my defining feature, just how fucking thin I was. And honestly I think this kind of stunted my grow a bit — didn’t get my period until I was 14 when most women in my family get them at 9 or 11. So yeah, I was in middle school thin as a rail and not a single hint of boobs or ass which in Latin America is almost a sin, so I got picked on a lot. Especially by this one girl (let’s call her D) whom I ultimately do consider my friend (because she is a complex being with faults and virtues) but my fucking god did she fixate on my boobs. At the time it didn’t hit me as weird because I was too hurt by the comments to think of anything else, but in hindsight it’s actually kind of bizarre just how much attention D (and anyone else) paid to my body like fucking mind your business??

Anyway, while it did destroy my self esteem for a loooong time, ultimately my body ended up being… well, normal. I’m no insta baddie for sure but im lean enough with a modest B cup and I’ve gotten some compliments on my lower body in general so yeah, I got over it. There was a transition period around the age of 15 in which I still had really bad self esteem issues so I got into working out very intensely and developed an actually super nice body. I even hung out with D once around this time (we ended up in different high schools) and she called it “the perfect body”. Boy do I remember that. What I was trying to say though, is that even when I was at my physical peak and someone like D, whom I knew had crazy ass standards for everyone and herself, called it perfect, I still thought I had no boobs or ass and I was incredibly undesirable. Tbh I’m still kinda working on that.

(Since the only motivation I had for working out was how much I hated my body, I ended up dropping out of the gym and ruining my relationship with it. Im working on that too.)

So the actual, final point im trying to make is this: two years ago, D and I reconnected again at some random ass bar. The very first thing she tells me is “Im getting a boob job next month”. Puzzled I look down to her chest, which honest to god looks fine to me and I say “You look fine to me!”. Then she says “It’s a padded bra! It’s always been a padded bra!”

Over the next few days we hang out more and she reveals it all to me — she never had boobs at all! She’s always been flat as fucking wall! Her boyfriend, kind of asshole, would never touch her breasts when they were fucking. Her grandma , kind of an asshole too, made a face when she saw how flat her chest was and silently lend her some money for the surgery. I remembered every single time I felt miserable because my body did not look like hers and it’s like the biggest fucking joke on the planet. It’s always been so obvious what was going on but I was so hurt by all the comments I was blind to it. Like what was the fucking need to bring me down to your misery too! What’s worse is that during one of these hangouts she dared to ask me if I was wearing a padded bra of sorts. Well, no. I’ve never needed it.

I didnt say anything else. I could have at least called her out on why the fuck she made all those comments years ago, but I stayed quiet. Next month came and she spent 100k to get B cups. There was nothing to say.

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hirazuki · 2 years

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Guys I just got called Satan at work, I have peaked. I want a raise and a vacation.

Edit: WOW mobile tumblr really fucked up the order of my tags XD I'll fix them when I get home...

Edit 2: Okay, tags fixed :D Now that I’m on my computer, more thoughts under the cut!

But like, yeah, this city has become such a dystopia tbh. Hard drugs in broad daylight on the sidewalks of upper class residential neighborhoods; a woman recently was knocked out and stuffed in a car at like 11am in the middle of a busy plaza; a guy was stabbed to death at around 3pm at one of the main bus stops. Everyone’s pretty desensitized to this too, so like, no one reported anything or did anything to help; it’s very much an oh-well-another-day-in-this-city mentality.

All that’s being done is that they’re “clearing out” encampments and people off of the street, except like... where are people supposed to go?? They’ll go from one corner to another until they get kicked out of that. Like. That’s not a solution, it’s not helping anything, if anything it’s making things worse by aggravating everyone. Idk how much worse it can get until something gives X_X

ANYWAY that’s it for this month’s irl thoughts, back to our regularly scheduled fandom shenanigans! :D

#i was just quietly shelving DVDs #minding my own business lmao #patron comes to sit at a table nearby looks at me and says #'not today satan' and points at me #.... okay if you say so #(he's clearly on something going off of his behavior; prob meth)#this city has really become like. something else #im so overexposed to it that i don't really realize it until people come to visit who havent been here in a while #and they are terrified to walk outside in broad daylight lol #it's such a common sight nowadays to see people shooting up right on the street at like noon #or just lying on the sidewalk fully naked or whatever #to the point where i don't think twice about it anymore which is pretty disturbing #idk where this city is headed tbh :/

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khaleesiofalicante · 1 year

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"In retrospective, I can see you gave me very little and I tried to build an entire future with it. You must understand, I had never been remembered like that, before. With purpose. Without begging for it. I took what I was offered and I ran away."

Malec being so fricking cheesy and in love in this trying times is superior 😎 They are idiots in love 😂😂

Magnus saying all the Super Babes have cool powers and shit as if this man isn't one of the most powerful and amazing of all times, owns a hell dimension, and ffs, he created the portal!!!

Maybe love was Alec’s superpower. Who taught you to love like that, Alec Lightwood?

I can confirm we are attracted to him anyway😌

No, no, no. Catarina is literally the most precious babe ever!! Leave her out of this😭

Keep an eye on your family!! Fuck! Also I love how this time, he feels rage. In lbaf he felt grief and pain and fear, but now he is feeling rage. And that is something else!

Yeah Magnus, call her bullshit out!! But omg both Alec and Magnus have suicidal wishes?

He can fucking teleport!!!! How fucking cooler can this man get???

I should make a list of all the things that are going wrong at this point 😂

MY FAVE PARABATAI 😍

“We should just kill them both,” Lexi shrugged. “Actually, let’s kill all the Devlins.” I don't know why no one is listening to her, she seems the most rational one

Ben and Lexi jshdididi THE SASS OF MY QUEER KIDS 😎

Izzy is so Iconic for this tbh

“And because you look like you make questionable life choices.” this is literally my friends asking for something they wouldn't ask someone else

Although I do agree Raziel is an idiot, their interactions always make me laugh so much😂😂

They have the wrong Max?? Jfc, Max is getting popular now

Luci, man, can you come back a few centuries from now on? We are kinda in the middle of something

His power is cool af!!! Wait, so if Raziel had smitten Ben with heavenly fire, what would have happened?

The warlock smiled. “Do you know the secret to defeating a monster, Lexi?”

“What is it?”

“You find a bigger one."

So we get the Prince of Darkness or Lucifer? No big deal at all :))

Max is really Maryse's favorite grandchild, huh?

Sometimes getting back something you lost hurt more than losing it. I didn't expect Maryse and Max Trueblood angst rn😭

Everyone being a little annoyed by Magnus' power and Alec being a little turned on is the most Alec thing ever kdhdkdjdkdn

They were gone for .5 seconds. Mavid are unhinged!! If Magnus was already cursed on walking in on every couple, this will get worse!!

If they don't get to zip zap our way out of this, I am suing!!!

Hunter saying some of the most cryptic shit ever and Mallory thinking how Max will look like 🙂🔪

Look, I fucking hate them all, but that was peak manipulation by Hunter. I say we should all go with Lexi's plan and kill them all

.... And I thought this family couldn't get any creepier?!?!? Now Zombi-Marcus-searching-for-Camilla is out there 🙂 FUCK

This family is unbelievable!!! Claire was practically asking for it, but...bitch wtf???

This quote kinda had me 🥹

Also this is literally Alec/Max about their SO I can’t 🤭

#lbaf

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dabihaul666 · 2 years

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I think i/we just have 2 deal with me actually absolutely insane sometimes and dramaric n fatalistic or whatever it is i said like this isnt coming from nowhere and if it was even coming from nowhere it would still be like valid menthol illness? Like. Ok i get a bit off the shits sometimes we have 2 move past it lol

#like the tags helped A LOT and literally u cannot overstate Big Name Fans rting me s/o to qina and leeches and tomato demon too like.#literally cannot be overstated how fame is the only thing 2 get u notes n exposure which u need to get those things. like i said. ive gaine #maybe 10 followers since m*nti left and im literally down 8 since my peak lol. like. tumblr could never thats why i like it here so much #unobtrusive tagging system easily archivable and searchable blockable etc etc no public follower counts or whatever #on twitter you must be this famous and/or and this problematic to have ppl interactti w u and like. lol god its best not to get into that #just unabashedly positive feedback or notes is the only way i can do art bc i certainly cant do it for myself anymore #not liking anything u do and its a struggle and then no one else liking it either just crushes the fukin daylights out of u #then why not do anything at all? bc thats worse even if marginally so its still worse #plus since ive never published a fic and practically everyone who was around at the start is gone or off doing bigger n better things n irl #or other anime stuff like. if i dont stay in my little corner shouting ppl will never know i was here n i was important lmao #i was a star *smokes a clove on a long cigarette stick in a fur coat with shades on* i was beautiful and everybody loved me #or whatever that scene? quote? is idk #i think im confusing the last bit #i was a star...... i was beautiful..... in 2018 lol #omfg im gonna hit 4 yrs of bnha/dabihaul soon are u kidding me #thats longer than middle school omg i dont remember how long i was in the fandom i was in b4 bnha...... wild... absolutely wild.........#I GOT REAL DISTRACTED U CAN TELL #evidence 4 my insanity plea tbh #ok good morning #but not yet

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simpingforwomen · 3 years

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what I assume about you based on your favorite Heathers song

beautiful: you peaked in middle school but suddenly lost all ur friends when u started high school

candy store: you’re probably a gemini tbh

fight for me: u deserve better. ily

freeze your brain: you’re the calm one in ur friend group

big fun: you hate your parents

dead girl walking: you’re sexually repressed

the me inside of me: you’re the loner who gets treated badly

blue: no way ur not a middle school boy

our love is god: best song. also u def think Kurt and Ram deserved to die

my dead gay son: ur only here for the comedy and gay jokes

seventeen: ur obsessed with bad boys falling for good girls… as u should tbh

shine a light: who tf likes this song?? I take it back this is worse than blue

lifeboat: you’re depressed and don’t know how to get help because nobody notices the signs

kindergarten boyfriend: if this is ur fave song I’m going to assume ur suicidal

yo girl: you have a stalker fetish

meant to be yours: yeah you’re unhinged, seek therapy babe xo

dead girl walking (reprise): the only time u feel powerful and in control is when you listen to this song. u definitely dance/act it out in ur room alone too. same lmao

i am damaged: this song is devastatingly sad, so I assume ur a masochist who likes pain

seventeen (reprise): this is literally nobody’s favorite song there’s no way

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aruuq · 3 years

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Flower crown – Xiao fluff

characters: xiao x gn!reader

summary: you and xiao were supposed to meet but you're late and xiao needs to distract his thoughts since he's overthinking

genre & style: fluff!

word count: 1k

notes: i wrote this fic one and a half month ago and only today i felt that i should share it with you

warnings: i think there's none tbh

A pleasant, cool breeze blew Xiao’s hair off of his forehead; grass, slightly moist from the morning dew, tickled his skin, as he was laying down at the top of the Mt. Tianheng, waiting for you to come. You two were supposed to meet there around sunrise, after you come back from the mission in Mondstadt, but didn’t specify the exact hour.

The sun was already up. Warm, yet still too cold to prevent chills from dancing across his skin, rays painted his whole body. Tired, after another night full of nightmares, eyelids trembled anxiously, as Yaksha started to overthink what could have been the reason for you being late. Worse and worse scenarios were appearing in his head with each passing second. What if a pack of Hilichurls attacked you? Or you trained and sprained your ankle? Or fell into a cave full of venomous spiders? Each subsequent thought was getting more and more dumb.

Scowling, he got to his feet, scaring little birds feeding themselves nearby. Xiao was sick of his own mind. He had to distract himself from thinking about you in order to stay calm. Glancing around the surroundings, he was trying to find anything he could do. Hunt? No. There were no animals besides little sparrows and titmouses. Fight? With what? It was a peak of a mountain with no enemies.

Out of frustration, Yaksha tore a tuft of grass and threw it with anger. His watchful eye saw a pretty white mottle in the sea of green. Using his inhuman speed, Xiao managed to catch this lovely little flower gently between the index and middle finger. Gold irises began to analyze the ground right beneath him. A field full of qingxin flowers. He was on a meadow after all. An idea popped into his head as if a small lightbulb appeared over the top of him.

Xiao remembered how you showed him once how to make flower crowns. It was a long time ago and because of that Adeptus wasn’t sure if he was able to bring back memories of the movements of your hands, but he was very fond to try if it could draw him away from making theories about your absence.

Starting slowly, he began to pluck the prettiest flowers, not caring much about the size or length of the stalks. Rough fingers twirled the blossoms literal inch from his eye, piercing at each petal to make sure it was suitable for the composition; it was really important that every leaf was in the perfect shape of a heart too and the man felt really obligated to that. The activity felt very odd, but not in any type of an unpleasant meaning. It was weirdly calming his senses, making him relaxed.

As all the most beautiful blooms were nested on Xiao’s laps, a short sigh left thin lips. That was where the hard part began. How to make flowers stay in the given shape? How to even connect them? Yaksha frowned in concentration and his eyebrows seemed to be even more bushy than every normal day. The fangs were biting down onto the tongue, making his frustrated grunts more audible. How the hell were they able to do this? He kept asking himself, trying not to yeet his work.

After a few unsuccessful attempts and a bunch of curses, the parts started to fall into place. Clumsy hands were doing a lot of unnecessary twists, the whole body was bending with every move and the head was spinning around. Truly unforgettable sight.

Xiao was shifting the thin stalks between his thick fingers, making complicated operations with his thumbs, not allowings tiny plants to escape, yet trying not to tear delicate petals.

“Didn’t know you were a man of arts.” Xiao was so focused, he didn’t even hear your footsteps.

Yaksha raised his head just to see you staring at him, his heart stopping for a moment. “Y/N. You’re late.” Trying not to blush due to being caught in a moment of inattention, he started to fidget with his almost finished work.

“My, oh my, who would have guessed that the Conqueror of Demons himself would be interested in making flower crowns.” You giggled, ignoring his complaint, as you sat yourself right in front of him, your knee brushing his own.

He couldn't even say a word, because your fingers entwined his, forcing him to follow your movements. “What are you doing?” He asked, trying to keep his voice stoic, yet the little crack wasn’t unnoticed by your sharp ear. A smirk appeared on your face.

“Helping you finish. You did it all wrong but now we can’t fix that. We can only go with it and hope it won’t fall apart later.” Wrapping your palms around Xiao’s hands, you began to rub against his skin, making his whole body feel hot. It was a whole new feeling, so weird and strange, yet comforting. Xiao pushed aside a thought of shaking off your embrace and sank completely in fact that you two were so close. Golden eyes were staring at the motions of your fingers forcing his own to do the job right, from time to time gazing at your focused face. You remained silent, chirping of the birds and whistling of the winds being the only sounds around.

“Annnnd… done!” You exclaimed, holding tighter onto his skin, picking the flower crown up. “Isn’t it pretty? We did a great job!” You pressed the wreath onto his head.

“Yeah.” Xiao fixed a lost strand that fell onto his face, watching your happy expression, feeling as his heart was beating faster. “Indeed, we did a great job.”

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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks · 3 years

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If you ever do write for Dash, what direction would you go with him? What would his motivations be?

(I like seeing him as a closeted romantic who drinks the toxic masculinity kool-aid and Danny is his "favorite" because he has feelings for him and that just makes him more insecure and angry, but I don't think that would be fun for you)

oooh I feel like Dash very much fits into the category of someone who has been moulded by his expectations

canonically we know that he collects teddy bears, and has a tiny dog named uhhh Pooky? I think? he's clearly got a soft side that he keeps very firmly closeted (literally in the teddy bear case)

I thought maybe his obsession with football could be a parental influence, the cliché football dad pushing him in one direction, but that's boring and overused, I want him to have a dad like the Coach from trollhunters tbh, big Sport Man but also Super Nice and Supportive, mean jock having nice parents is a dynamic I really dig

so then I thought, this would have to be either self imposed expectations or pressure from friends or the school, Dash has mentioned multiple times in the canon that he has a very bleak outlook for his future, he has very little confidence in his abilities outside of football

I propose that Dash struggles so much in school that he has to rely on football as his one only ticket to success, maybe he has an undiagnosed learning disorder or dyslexia, something that's made it almost impossible to study properly and learn at the same level as other kids, leading him to rely on his physical prowess alone as a career option

and his whole attitude wouldn't be solely because he has learning difficulties (that's rarely a reason or excuse for treating people like shit and also a stereotype I don't wanna lean into) it's more that he's surrounded himself with other jocks who've built this toxic environment that made him bury his shit deep down and he's become afraid to ask for help for fear of ridicule

he doesn't force other kids to do his homework because he has a learning disability, he forces kids into doing his homework instead of asking for help because he's been taught that asking for help is for losers, the behaviour is a direct result of his social group and the education system failing him by not looking more deeply into his struggles, teachers will just always assume he's lazy and not ask further questions

so he struggles in school without understanding why, relies on football as the One Thing he can do well, but falls into that awful jock mentality that makes him a pretty shitty person, but he can't get out of that because he relies on being good at football, he can't lose his place on the team or the respect of his teammates, it's all he has, he is trapped in that toxic cesspool

so he walks like them, talks like them, shoves other kids around like them, and when he finally starts to realise there might be a reason he's struggling, he keeps his mouth shut about it because he doesn't want to get special treatment because he doesn't want people to know, because teenagers are fucking awful and his 'friends' would absolutely give him hell about it

I'm sure his parents would have figured something out eventually and that's why he ends up being tutored by Jazz, maybe she was willing to research his issues and work with him to find a way to manage it discreetly

so I don't think Dash would have been an awful guy by nature, I think if he hadn't lumped himself into a bad crowd he wouldn't be so insecure and wouldn't have to take it out on anyone, I think he really does like soft things and cute things and little animals and he absolutely has a secret instagram full of softcore vibes, and he's probably really sweet to his parents and behind closed doors

I also think the only friend he's open to about this is Kwan because Kwan is also Peak Soft Boy but he struggles to hide it, which is why in the one ep where Danny was given a place at the popular table, Kwan was the first guy they kicked out, Dash probably felt pretty bad about that but he couldn't let the other guys think he was going soft, they all voted Kwan and he felt like he had to follow suit, otherwise it would be him next time

I think he picks Danny as a target because Danny is probably a lot smarter than he looks, Dash might have been stuck sitting next to him at some point in middle school and watched Danny scribble out his work at the last minute and still get pretty decent marks

it probably pisses him off that Danny is so clearly really smart but just can't be bothered doing the work properly (when really Danny is adhd as hell and struggles in his own different ways)

so Dash picks him to do all his homework, because he knows Danny can do it, and he thinks Danny deserves it for wasting the skills Dash wishes he had

and Danny does it, because he's scared of Dash and also because it keeps Dash from shoving him in his locker tomorrow, he'll do the damn homework because he just wants to get through the day

Dash probably gets a whole lot worse once the events of the show take place because Danny was barely managing to get everything done to begin with but now with a chronically disrupted schedule via ghost shenanigans, he can barely get his own homework done let alone Dash's

which is why Dash gets extra personal about it, Danny is once again wasting his potential, he's failing his classes because Dash can only assume he's being a lazy piece of shit, instead of being a cripplingly exhausted neurodivergent superhero

honestly if his teachers had picked up on his difficulties early and he was given the help he needed he could focus on more than just football and not be stuck completely relying on that social group, he probably wouldn't even resent Danny, I like to think that he eventually starts to mellow out halfway through high school as people start to grow up and become less petty

I like to think he chases down Danny after graduation and gives a genuine apology for how he treated him, once he's come to understand himself a little better (talking to Jazz really helped), Danny doesn't forgive him right away, but is willing to let Dash earn his forgiveness by proving he has really changed, he probably gets involved in support groups for troubled kids as a way of atoning, keeps the cycle from repeating

so yeah those are my Dash thoughts, a soft boy by nature who's the victim of a shitty education system and toxic masculinity, but he comes out the other side alright

#asks #lula's headcanons #danny phantom #dash baxter #I am both Dash and Danny tbh #I'm almost 100% certain I have dyscalculia #I got brutally humiliated for asking a question in math class in my first year of high school #NEVER ASKED A QUESTION AGAIN #I JUST S U F F E R E D

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blissfulparker · 3 years

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hewwoo, i have a request where yn and tom are having sex but like it’s cute and yn gets her period in the middle of it and freaks out but then they realises that it’s her period and yn gets all embarrassed and tom comforts her? i just got my period and i need something cute (idek if that’s cute tbh, chile anyways) ty <3

At first I hesitated this but actually kinda liked the concept(mostly bc I’m on my period too) 🤧

“Fuck,” Toms head dropped into your shoulders as he pounded into you. The sound of skin slapping filled the room and the gentle sound of your moans. “Feel so fucking good.” He bites down into your shoulder causing you to throw your head back.

For a split second he looks down and sees red. At first his sex hazed mind didn’t think anything of it until he realized you were bleeding.

“Fuck!” He nearly shouts as he pulls out. “Oh my god you’re bleeding!” You weren’t a virgin, you didn’t tell him to stop, he was panicking.

“What?” You don’t even realize what’s happening until you see the horror on your boyfriends face. You knew it was coming but it was two days early. Your body goes from craving your second orgasm to shame and embarrassment.

“Why didn’t you tell me to stop! I hurt you oh my god, we should get you to a hospital—“ his panic makes it worse as you want nothing more than to shrivel up and sink into the bed.

“Tom,” you call during his panic. He’s already off the bed and running to get a rag. Mumbling words of panic to himself before you snap him. “Tom!”

“What! Darling, I’m so sorry for what I did—“ he starts and you groan. His face goes from worried to confused as you have no pain written on your face.

“It’s my period.” You say quietly at first and he doesn’t hear.

“Darling I can’t hear you. What?” He asks and you move your hands.

“It’s my period, I-I didn’t know it would be early. This is so gross, I’m so sorry.” You can’t even try to hide the embarrassment as you rub your hands over your face. Tom goes from scared to confused to panicked again, only wanting to help his now stressed girlfriend.

“Darling, it’s not gross. It’s natural-I’m sorry I freaked out. I worried I was too rough.” His hand came to rest on your thigh in a comfort. You peak through the fingers that covered your eyes. “Look at me please?” His hand now came up to your wrist and you let your hands drop.

“I would tell you if you hurt me, you never hurt me.” You tell him, he gives you a soft smile before clearing his throat to figure out what to do.

“I think we should get you in the shower.” He realizes that you are embarrassed, overwhelmed, and still lay here with the start of your period. “I’ll wash the sheets.”

While you clean yourself off, Tom does everything he can to clean up and prepare to take care of you. When you get out he has the spare sheets on and is cleaned up himself.

The rest the night was filled with soft cuddles and kisses making sure everything was okay.

#kats blurbs #this was shit I’m so sorry #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #imagine tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland au

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princehrry-writings · 3 years

Text

Friends Don't

ahhhh, i hope you love it!! please send in requests!! let me know what you think, and if you like it maybe share with your friends?

wordcount: 3226

warnings: mentions of alcohol, maybe swearing? tbh I don't think anything else.

we love a good bff's to lovers :)

All Harry did was shrug him off and say his final goodbyes- heading back out to his car that he had been in not more than 20 minutes ago when he arrived to have dinner with Jeff, and followed the gravitational pull that always seemed to lead back to you.

Harry is your best friend that you're in love with, but neither of you will admit it.

“What are you doing here, it’s the middle of the fucking night H?” It was cold, too cold to stand there on your front porch in nothing but a big teeshirt and shorts. The smile on his face was cheeky, but when was it not with him.

“Just wanted to stop by, that’s all. Got bored…” He said and you sighed, shaking away the blush that wanted to creep up your neck. His hair was a bit messy and his clothes were wrinkled, like he’d been tossing and turning in them. He made his way into your house after you stepped aside to let him in and made himself comfortable like he always does when he comes over.

With a huff, he collapsed on your living room couch, you following in suit and cuddling into his side. It wasn’t uncommon for you to find yourself here in this position. The middle of the night was usually a time when Harry’s mind ran wild, you weren’t much different. Usually, it was the man himself plaguing your mind, but you’d never tell him that.

It’s ok, he’d never tell you that you were the reason he kept himself up at night either.

“Wanna go lay down?” You asked quietly, fidgeting with the rings on your best friend’s hand as the other tangled itself in your hair just the way he knew would relax you. A soft hum arose from him and you nodded, reluctantly separating your bodies and treading up to your room. Harry felt like he spent more nights here than at his own house.

Harry’s phone buzzed beside him, pulling his attention away from whatever Jeff had been talking about for the last 5 minutes. A message from you sat there on his screen asking if he wanted to come over and have a movie night and order take out. Another message popped up a few seconds later adding “I have wine 😏” and a smile crept onto his cheeks, something he was never able to control when it came to you. There wasn’t much you couldn’t get him to do, it was something about you that fascinated him. He felt safe with you, safe enough to do anything. He didn’t have to worry about something being leaked to the press or worse- being made fun of by you. He quickly typed back a reply saying he’d be there in 20 minutes and to call in the order to your favorite place not far from your house so he could pick it up on the way. Jeff finally stopped talking as Harry caught his attention, telling him he had to go.

“Wait what? We just got here, we haven’t even ordered yet! Where are you going?” Harry shrugged and said something came up and he had to go but the look in his eyes told Jeff everything he needed to know.

“So you’re leaving me to go see the girl you claim you’re not in love with?” A blush crept up Harry’s neck and onto his face, turning so the man couldn’t see it. With a shake of his head and a cough to clear the lump that had gathered in his throat, he turned back to his friend sitting in front of him.

“She’s my best friend, m’not in love with her!” He defended, wondering which one of them he was trying to convince more and pushing that thought to the back of his mind. The sound of Jeff scoffing, he swore, could be heard from outside the restaurant they were at right now, and the pointed look being directed at Harry was enough to make him want to shrink back into himself just to get away from it.

“H… I hate to break it to you, but friends don’t cancel other plans just to see each other…” Somewhere in his mind, Harry knew that- but that was a thought for another time. Right now, he was just focusing on making it to your house with your guys’ favorite takeout food and cuddling up to you on your couch or in your bed to watch movies he wouldn’t be paying any attention to in favor of watching your eyes light up during your favorite scenes, and drinking what some would say is a little too much wine for a Thursday evening. The two of you didn’t have to worry about that part though- you always had Fridays off.

Loud music and large crowds were something Harry was accustomed to, he’d spent the majority of his teen years and all of his adult life around them, in the middle of them. What he wasn’t used to was you being there with him. He’d convinced you to have a night out with him and a friend that was in town and you hesitantly said yes. The two of you didn’t go out in public together very often, and when you did it was always very meticulous. You showed up separately, acted like you didn’t know each other, and tried to stay away from as many prying eyes as you possibly could. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t want to be seen with you or even that you didn’t want to be seen with him- it was just better for the both of you that your friendship stay out of the public eye. It was better for your job and it made things easier in your personal life as well. The last thing Harry wanted was for the media to start making rumors and for his fans to start ripping you apart like they had been known to do in the past.

The club you guys were at was very exclusive, and you had followed the same protocol of showing up at different times as to not be seen walking in together. You had sworn you’d never been around so many A-list celebrities in your entire life and you were starting to feel a little overwhelmed at all the people you knew of in the room, all the faces you’d seen so many times before only through a screen. You didn’t have much time to panic as Harry was whisking you off to meet the friend he’d told you about that was here. A very familiar Irish accent piqued your ears as you got closer to the bar near the back of the crowded room, a head of brown hair, that in your mind should still be blond, peaking out amongst the people surrounding him. Of course, out of all the friends he has, it had to be Niall Horan he was talking about. Someone that you were very familiar with. Niall had always been your favorite in One Direction and you made sure you reminded Harry of that every chance, uh sorry, every chonce you got.

Memories of the two of you sitting in your car as a 1D song came on the radio and you shushing him as Niall started singing- reminding him that this was “the best part” and turning it up louder than it really needed to be flashed through your mind and you tried your hardest to fight the blush creeping up your neck as you stopped in your tracks, halting both of you from going any further. You shot him a glare and it took everything in you not to slap that smirk off of his face.

“Really? And you didn’t even warn me? What the fuck H?” If your heart wasn’t racing before, it certainly was now at the thought of meeting Niall Horan. You didn’t even freakout this hard when you met Harry for the first time. That encounter seemed like it was yesterday and 100 years ago all at the same time.

“M’a little hurt you didn’t freak out over me like this, love! What does he have that I don’t?” Faking offense, his hand coming up to hold his chest as if you’d actually hurt him. You scoffed and pushed his shoulder away, fully prepared to run and hide in the bathroom the rest of the night. You freaked out over Harry in a different way. One that you didn’t let him ever see. And sure- maybe you went home after the first time you met and screamed your head off to your best friend in your hometown- but he didn’t need to ever know that. But now here you were, 20 feet away from Niall fucking Horan, your teenage celebrity crush, and you didn’t know if you were gonna make it to see tomorrow.

Why you were so freaked out about meeting him you weren’t quite sure. Maybe it was that he was one of Harry’s closest and oldest friends and you wanted him to like you (for reasons you weren’t ready to admit to yourself, let alone Harry) or maybe it was merely the fact that you spent the entirety of your high school career with pictures of him on your wall and on the front of your school binder.

“I’m gonna die tonight…” You muttered to yourself as Harry began dragging you behind him once again, over to the open bar stools next to Niall.

“Oi there he is!” The Irishman turns to see the pair of you, pulling Harry into a long overdue hug.

“Hey mate,” The smile on Harry’s face is one you don’t get to see often as it only comes out when he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. You knew seeing Niall was something he’d been looking forward to, although you didn’t quite know it was Niall until less than 2 minutes ago. Sometimes life gets to be a little too much and having someone that gets it like Niall does is important. You could only offer so much as you had no idea what it was like to walk in his shoes.

“You must be the famous Y/N this guy never stops yappin’ about!” The smile is replaced by a flush you’ve seen plenty of times before. He almost looks like a dog with his tail between his legs as he flicks the brunets forehead.

“Aye, no need for that,”

“I guess that’s me!” You say with a smile, expecting for Niall to extend his hand. He, instead, pulls you into a bone crushing hug that you know 14 year old you would have died for, but current you can’t help but wish it was Harry’s arms wrapped tightly around your body like this. He hugs you like this all the time, if not tighter, but it doesn’t seem like you could ever get enough of the man with green eyes standing next to you with that lopsided smile sewn onto his face.

“M’ Niall, it’s nice to meet you!”

---

Ok. Maybe those last two shots of tequila Niall had talked you into weren’t the best idea. Maybe, dragging Harry out to the dance floor when you were just drunk enough to tell him anything wasn’t the best idea. Maybe you didn’t really care right now because the feeling of his hands on your body in a way that wouldn’t be considered platonic was too good to do anything about.

Drunk you has been known to almost spill a certain 8-letter phrase that sober you would rather keep to herself. Drunk you wishes you could get over yourself and just say it, so every time- like clockwork- you get close to his ear and begin the little phrase. But somehow, by some magical happenstance, an outside force steps in. Almost as if the universe is trying to tell you something. You just can’t figure out if it means don’t tell him at all or don’t tell him like this.

Just as you felt yourself lean in and brush your lips against the outer shell of his ear Niall showed up out of nowhere letting us know he was heading to the bathroom and joking about how if he wasn’t back in 20 minutes to call security.

“What was that you were about t’say love?” He leaned in close to your ear as you had done to him not even 30 seconds ago before you were interrupted. In his inebriated state, it sounded more like “wha’ was tha’ ya were abou’ t’say love,” as he always talked a little sloppier when he’d had a few drinks. He says that when he bit the end of his tongue off that it got rid of his little lisp but it didn’t really. He’s just never sober enough to remember.

“I-uh, I don’t remember now,” You giggled, playing it off as drunken rambling. He nods, pulling you closer, if that was possible at this point, and swaying back and forth off beat to the music. His arms wrap tightly around your waist, face buried in your neck where he felt most at home. Your arms find purchase wrapped around his neck, your head placed gently atop his. To any wandering eye, it would seem as if the two of you were in love with each other.

Someone leaked pictures of your night out to the media. Harry doesn’t even bother to knock as he barges into your house to see you wandering around your kitchen putting things away, acting like you had no idea that the whole world thought you were dating your best friend. Because you didn’t. Your phone had been off all day in favor of getting things done around the house.

“Love, please don’t be mad…”

“Why, what did you do?”

“Have y’not seen?”

“...Seen what, H?”

“Shit,” He muttered under his breath, walking closer to you. He looked like a dog with his tail between his legs. You only grew more suspicious as he pulled his phone out, swiping around until he found what he was looking for.

A cold sweat broke out over your body, throat suddenly dry, heart beginning to race. What you were seeing was a picture of you and Harry with your hands all over each other on the dance floor of the club you were at last Friday night. Your name was attached to the tweet along with Harry’s, obviously, along with other pictures of the two of you together from that night. You felt a little sick.

You were angry that you let your guard down in public but all of your feelings of anguish and sickness washed away when you saw the look of pure fear in Harry’s eyes. He was absolutely terrified that you were going to push him away after this. His mind raced from all of the possibilities. He was terrified to lose you.

“I didn’t mean for this t’happen, pet. Promise! M’so sorry, I-” You shut down his worry, gently placing your hand on his cheek, brushing your thumb under his eye.

“Hey, I know. It’s ok. It’s ok.” You pulled him into your arms, wrapping yourself around him tightly. He melted into you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. This is where he felt most at home. Safe in the arms of the girl he loves. His heart sinks at the idea that she would never know. He doesn’t know if he could live with the idea of you meeting someone else. Holding someone else the way you're holding him now. Tightening his grip on your waist, he pulls his head away from your neck, resting his forehead against yours.

“Y/n… I- god why is it so hard f’me t’say this.” He stumbles over his words, trying to find the courage to say what he’s been waiting for so long to tell you.

“Say what, Haz?” You whispered, heart picking up speed. Your fingers gently brushed away a stray curl that had fallen into his eyes.

He was quiet for a beat, looking anywhere but your eyes. When he finally did make eye contact, your breath caught in your throat. His eyes held a look you had seen so many times before. A look you told yourself didn’t mean anything so many times that for a moment, you almost believed it.

“The way I feel about you…” He whispered. This time, it was his hand that gently met your cheek, thumb brushing under your eye. His eyes flitted back and forth between your lips and your irises.

“Baby, for so long I tried to tell myself that there was nothing here. That we really were just good friends, but we both know…” His voice didn’t raise any higher as he said this. You could feel his hand shaking on your cheek. You held his wrist, returning his intense gaze and nodding your head subtly.

You did know. You hadn’t quite realized that he knew too, but you knew you certainly did. Maybe it was a good thing that someone leaked those pictures.

“Y/n, my darling Y/n… I love you.” Tears welled in your eyes as it felt like the weight of the galaxy had just been lifted from your shoulders.

“I know you do,” Your voice broke, trying to keep the happy tears at bay,” And I love you too.”

He closed the already minuscule distance between the two of you, matching his lips to yours. He poured everything he had ever felt for you into this kiss, holding you even tighter against him. You gave him everything you had and more, hoping that this kiss would be enough to truly tell him how you felt. I love you just isn't big enough. There aren’t enough words in all of the languages combined to truly describe the way you feel about the man kissing you right now.

You fit perfectly together, like one soul that's been split in two and destined to reunite over and over again throughout time. You truly believe you’ve fallen in love with Harry many times before, in different lives, as different people. The connection was just too pure for that not to be the case.

He broke the kiss, both of you gasping for air, him muttering, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” between every breath and wiping away the tears that had managed to escape onto your cheeks.

“What are we gonna do?” You asked after you’d both caught your breath.

“Well, first things first, I think I have a question to ask you…” He trailed, a gentle smirk pulling onto his face.

“M’love, will you be my girlfriend?” You beamed, looking into the green eyes before you, nodding your head more prominently.

“Yes,” You giggled as he cut you off with a kiss. His hands roamed the span of your back, cheekily dipping below your waistline, onto your ass. He rubbed his hands around before you playfully slapped them away, not being able to swipe the smile off your aching cheeks.

“We’ll figure this out, together. As long as I have you, the rest of the world doesn’t matter. We’ll take it one step at a time.” He says with an adoring smile.

The rest of the world doesn’t matter, you decide. You have him. And he’s all you need.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #y/n #reader insert #harry x reader #harry styles x you #harry x you #best friend!harry #one direction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff

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boqutos · 4 years

Text

at arms length, ☆ how the boys cuddle.

a set of headcanons.

˚✩ 𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐊𝐔 ‘𝐃𝐄𝐊𝐔’ 𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀.

— izuku is def game from the minute you start dating tbh.

— he absolutely enjoys the thought of holding you close to him, but consistently fails to bring it up or screws up his perfect opportunities!

— luckily, you’re the one in the relationship with at least a little bit of sense!! you own the brain cell and make it your bitch!

— the first time you get to cuddle him is after a study session that lasted for a couple hours. You were too sleepy to get up and go back to your dorm so you asked him if it was okay for you to chill with him for a bit longer.

— next thing you know he’s clinging onto you for dear life when all you wanted was to get spooned 😭

— your first cuddle session is a complete and utter disaster too, it’s lowkey wild.

— being in such proximity to you has this boy sweatin’ good lord-

— he gets flustered just from just looking at you sometimes and now he gets to hold you? in his arms?

— deku is dead. deceased. how to cease from existence tutorial-

— he’s either crazy stiff or wicked limp, no in between.

— the first thing you’ll notice about nostradumbass is that he gets… sweaty.

— like really sweaty.

— he turned into bakugou after training, type sweaty.

— you love him but it’s so so gross snjksnfkjdfknfknf

— it could be the middle of winter and this man will stay sweating bricks.

— ffs he’s out here making you hot! deku what the actual Fuck is up?

— but you don’t know what’s worse: the fact he turns into an everlasting fountain or the fact he has no damn clue where to put his hands. does he??? put them on your shoulders??? around your arms??? like... is he supposed to hug you, but while he’s laying down?? please help him he’s so dumb!

— you can see the smoke come out of his mouth as his brain malfunctions.

— as expected, he doesn’t know how to keep them to himself.

— and at this point, do not be surprised if you feel him start to palm your ass.

— he’s dead either way might as well cross one thing off the bucket list-

— he is only a Man. he cannot resist The Booty.

— in truth it’s just his muscle memory failing him and if you actually make him aware of the shit he’s doing he’ll beg for forgiveness. oftentimes it’s more irritating to deal with than him actually grabbing your ass, but it’s whateva.

— and if you really want him to suffer, let him be the big spoon.

— another problem that deku has is that he gets way too self conscious?

— that he thinks he’s going to be under constant scrutiny even though the point of this was just to relax but y’know it’s w/e it honestly can’t be helped.

— his brain is running at a mile a minute and he’ll end up mumbling super duper close to your ear. it unnerved you at first but you got used to it pretty quickly.

— i mean. it’s better than when he holds his breath for two minutes straight because he thinks he’s breathing too loudly.

— remember when i said he was dead? you thought i was joking??? your boyfriend is dead now and you killed him goddamn it!!! don’t be so perfect next time and he might make it out unscathed.

— but then you’ll get to mouth to mouth resuscitate him, so i guess it’s not a total loss :)

— the peak of the cuddle session is whenever the fuck deku falls asleep, and for the entire duration of his nap, he becomes Cuddle God 5000.

— if you like being held tightly that is.

— he legit koalas you. wraps his legs around you and everything! all while sleeping so cutely !!!

— it’s a solid 7/10. he’s just adorable. that’s all 7 points.

˚✩ 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈 ‘𝐊𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍’ 𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔.

— bakugou is the pinnacle of emotionally constipated and we all know it!

— he’s trying !

— honest to god he is.

— and you swear up and down he has to be joking when you ask him to cuddle and he’s like

— “huh?????? the fuck is that shit??? is that a fighting stance or sumn’??? what’s a Cuddle.”

— you come this close to squishing his stupid ape brain but you decide to save that for later and just like… show him instead.

— ok but: ‘i hate it’, he says, as he lit rally crushes your spine with his fucking beefy ass forearms.

— ‘this is stupid’, says the man getting flustered because you’re so close.

— like bro.

— you’re nestled in between his perfect tits.

— cuddling with bakugou is the best man.

— it is, until you start to smell … smoke?

— you are Mildly Alarmed at first.

— “uh. bkg. are??? are the dorms on fire??? why does it smell burnt-”

— “tch. shut up dumbass.” and when you look up from your big booby view, his cheeks are straight up bleeding red.

— your stupid ass bf is blushing !! you’d make fun of him but now is not the time.

— “?????????? huh???????????? bakugou please??????”

— you sniff again. smells like caramel and sweat.

— then your back is startlingly hot.

— and next thing you know, you’re yelping, you and your shirt is burnt, and bakugou is yelling about… something.

— as it turns out, he got nervous and his quirk accidentally activated!! haha woops !! rip ur back am i right lmao

— katsuki at least takes the liberty of rubbing you down with the aloe vera he buys for his own hands, so sexy shirt off time !! except the shirt was your one of a kind band tee that costs too much for a broke ass student like yourself to replace.

— double rip lol.

— apparently some of his dorm neighbors heard the commotion and tried to see what was going on, but he was attached to your hip like ya’ll were siamese.

— at NO POINT did his hand ever leave the burn mark on you back and you’re thankful. the aloe was straight up godly.

— you end up excusing his mistake after he calls you a ‘dumbass nerd’ and kisses your burn marks, slaps some bandaids on ya, and takes you back to his bed to nap this time.

— you’re still a bit rattled from getting literally roasted so you’re a little wide eyed while bakugou falls asleep pretty easily.

— then you hear him snore.

— very quietly. gently. with each rise of his chest. in, and out. in, then out.

— …

— fuck.

— why is your boyfriend so adorable when he’s sleeping????? why???? where and wHY the fuck is this shit legal????

— and not to mention he’s actually a bitch when he’s not snoozing.

— it’s your ass on the line, but if you don’t commemorate this moment with horrendous amounts of photos, how are you ever gonna blackmail him into getting another band shirt????

— please- burning you or not, this shit was straight up inevitable.

— and that’s how you got 20 pictures of bakugou sleeping and drooling on your phone!!

— and to this day, he still doesn’t know :)

— … you totally didn’t share any with the rest of his squad.

— 6/10 cuddler, only because he smells like sweaty caramel.

˚✩ 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 ‘𝐈𝐂𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐓’ 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈.

— probably like… the best cuddler.

— the man is consistently no thought head empty so i think it’s practically impossible for him to over think this shit.

— his brain is like “ok. i shall hold this person. Tenderly. and it will remain that way until they want to stop.”

— but his body is like, “aHA! i have lured you into a false sense of security!’ and then it fucks his whole life up.

— same issue as deku. body stiff as a board, spine has never been anything but dummy straight, and his hands are weird.

— but what makes him the ultimate cuddle buddy is that he learns really, really quickly.

— if you say his elbow is digging into your ribs, he’ll cut it out right away.

— his hands wandering too much? he’ll stop if you ask him to, and wrap around your back instead.

— your first time cuddling isn’t too bad either! you have to initiate it, but it’s not a dramatic disaster, like cuddling with bakugou, or cuddling with deku is.

— but…

— ....

— his half n’ half quirk makes things a WHOLE LOT LESS SEXY

— and i mean a LOT

— jesus christ it’s either freezing cold on one side or his other side feels like you’re trapped in a fucking sauna.

— and it fucking sucks because??? he can’t even help it????? he doesn’t feel his own drastic temp changes, only you can- so he thinks everything's fine until you break the news to him that you’re absolutely melting rn.

— it’s really fucking wonky the first few times you catch yourself snuggling up too close, because you can only sit near for so long until you’re breaking into a sweat, or shivering cold and need to talk up all the blankets you brought with you.

— but luckily, his problem is the easiest to resolve!!!

— you just uh. lay on his tummy.

— (or his back, that also works).

— it works decently well for balancing out the hot and the cold.

— and like,,, you get to look him in the eyes while ur doing it. get in really close to his face. give him a little smooch maybe. that’s pretty sexy right????

— 11/10. he’s a good boy.

— written by katsu ! 🍜 if you like my writing, please consider giving me a ✨ reblog and leaving a ✨ comment.

taglist ; @myhero-ghoul @kageyeaman @popsclique @cherry-pancakes @wakaitoshi @guavagator @emmi-m

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deepdonutkid · 3 years

Text

Nonsense

A/N:

This took me way too long! I’m sorry, I was stuck on the Polly part for a while after Helen’s death.

Even though there is a part in the middle, which I’m not really satisfied with, I’m still glad, I finished that chapter. I hope you like it. It’s a little sad for a story, that will later focus on... other stuff.

Tbh... I forgot, if Martha died from a disease or something else. That’s why this part is a little vague. But he will talk more about his dead wife much later in the story.

English is not my first language and this is not beta-read, just a small part of it! Thanks to @retromafia for helping me out on this chapter! You’re so lovely!

John as mental health issues, but it’s very different to those of his brothers!

tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl @theshelbyclan @justalonelyslytherin

Masterlist Do you wanna touch

____________________

All fucking week he had thought about this date and her. John was distracted at work, at home and at the Garrison. His head was somewhere else, preferably with her, the beautiful Russian girl he had met a couple of days ago. He tried to keep this to himself even though he worried others would start to notice his weird behavior. Well, it was pretty hard to shut up about it, when he sat drunk next to his friends in the pub, but John wasn’t really ready to talk about this. It still felt so surreal like this encounter had never happened and it was all in his head. In addition to that, others- mainly his family- would gladly ruin this for him, before it had even begun, which was why he was so reluctant to talk about it.

They would ask him all sorts of stupid questions, which he couldn’t answer at all. He frowned and closed the book. Later he would meet the mysterious woman again and this was his only chance, since he didn’t know her full name or her address or another way to contact her. So he had to go there or he would go crazy thinking about what might have been. But there was a problem with that.

Of course there was a problem as nothing in his life could be easy. Not even once. However he refused to call his kids a problem. His dad called him like this more than once. And if John wasn’t a problem, his name was either accident or brat. Needless to say John was way nicer to his children than his father was to him. John loved all four of them. He really did, but… somebody had to look after them, while he wasn’t at home. So he had to ask either Polly or Ada and he didn’t know what would be worse.

His sister would spread the word of him having a girlfriend faster around than a disease. Maybe she would even spice up the story a little and add some drama just for the fun of it. Then he wasn’t out for a date, but to meet the woman he had impregnated or what else. And Polly, well she was the main reason he was scared to even mention his rendezvous. His aunt had the great talent to investigate his private life like fucking copper. Once she had sniffed something, she wouldn’t let go of it and kept bothering him.

Anyways he had to talk to one of them and the chat wouldn’t be a nice one. A choice between the foul and the evil. Ugh, he was in the mood to flip a coin. There were some on his desk. So why not? He looked around, if anybody was watching him, but he was alone in his office. Then he took a coin from the daily bets and tossed it. Once it was up in the air, he had made up his mind. The coin just proofed it. He should go to Polly and it would fit in his schedule as now was his lunch break and he would eat with the others anyway. If he would go now, he could still catch her alone in the kitchen. A grunt left his lips while he stood up from his chair. His pace was steady, but fast as he made his way through the betting shop. Luckily nobody noticed that he left his table a little too early.

He had never opened or closed a door as quietly as in this exact moment. “Polly?”, he had asked in a careful tone into the empty room. John heard movements from the kitchen. Suddenly her head peaked around the corner. “Yes, John?” She had emphasized every syllable as if he was stupid. Maybe he was just not ready to have this talk. On the other hand he had no chance. This was a now or never situation and he preferred now over never.

John gathered all his courage to approach her: “Would you do me a little favor?” All the sudden his hands were sweaty and no matter how many times he had rubbed them on his pants, it wouldn’t get any less smeary. Usually he wasn’t so nice and polite to his relatives. It was more like he had earned the title arrogant brat rightfully. He scratched his neck and gave her his best puppy eyes. And just to top it off his angelic smile, which had saved him many times before. Most of the times, he could avoid the consequences of his own actions with his charming smirk.

But today it didn’t help. Polly just shook her head. “What is it this time?”

“Just a little thing”, he began, then paused to take a deep breath and gain courage to exclaim his wish: “Can you watch the kids this evening? It’s really important.”

His aunt froze mid movement and starred at him. After a while she started blinking. Her glare was concerning. “Why this time? The last time was just a week ago. Another task from Tommy? He didn’t talked to me about this.”

John pressed his teeth again and shook his head. He looked at the roof and searched for the right words to explain his situation. Why was this so difficult? It was just a date. Yet it felt like so much more.

The Shelby sighed, while his hand was fumbling with his lighter in the pocket of his pants. “I’m meeting someone” was his short answer to a complex problem.

“Did Tommy ask you to?”, she asked once again. No matter if it was business or his private life, Polly liked to be up to date.

Again he shook his head. “No, not Tommy, but it’s still important. So would you please help me?”

Polly clucked her tongue and hurried back to the kitchen. John followed her and leaned against the door frame, waiting for his answer.

“Well, I got a meeting too, so you better change the appointment with said woman, because I don’t want to change my plans for you”, she replied, while stirring a pot. Afterwards she tapped the wooden spoon against the pot and turned around. “Lunch is ready. Better get your brothers, so we can eat.”

Apparently the conversation was over, because it really started, but John wouldn’t give up right away. “But I can’t”, he protested: “That’s the only night she is available and I don’t know how to reach her.”

Without looking at him, she walked right back into the living room and started putting dished on the table. “Ahh, see? I was right about the woman part… But why do you want to meet somebody you barely know?” Her question was reasonable.

John was so lost in his thought about her and yet he had no answer. No good ones. So he just said the next best thing: “I won a bet and I want to see her.”

Right when he said that his brother came in. Arthur widened his eyes and scratched his chin. “Want to see who?”, he asked. It was horrible how nosy his family was.

There was no peaceful day at the Shelby household. Never ever.

“He has a new girl, but he doesn’t know anything about her”, Polly retorted, before John even had the chance to answer himself.

Arthur chuckled and added: “Oh, Our John was never a man for talking. Right, John boy?”

They had to be fucking kidding him. It felt like he was sixteen again and started to meeting Martha. This was so embarrassing. John nodded slowly and gave his brother a false laugh.

“Well, we had other things to do”, John objected and it wasn’t quite the truth, but close enough. There was just no explanation why he was drawn to this woman, who was a stranger to him, but oh, those kisses really worked some crazy magic on him.

His brother burst out in laughter and slapped his hand on John’s back. “Oh, I know! I fucking know what you mean”, he exclaimed: “Why talk, when you can have fun with a woman?”

And right now, John couldn’t agree less. He wanted to talk with the mysterious woman, but she rushed off into the night before he could even say goodbye to her. Damn, he wished he knew more about her, maybe then he wouldn’t be so nervous right now. The Shelby didn’t feel like his usual cheeky, charming self, more like fucking train wreck.

His face got gleaming red, but he tried to act like was completely cool with it. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to sleep with her. Gosh, what wouldn’t he give to spend the night with her?

“Pol, you see John’s face. He is red like a crayfish”, Arthur joked and pulled his little brother into a headlock.

Their aunt walked around them, very carefully as she was carrying the big steam pot. She sounded like she was mentally everywhere else, when she murmured: “Yes, Arthur, I see it- shameful red- but now it’s time for lunch, so release your brother and come sit.” Somehow Polly managed to phrase it exactly like their mom used to say it, even though she was only three years older than Arthur, but he’d still respect her.

So he did what she asked him to do and let John go again to take a seat at the table.

It was the perfect timing to beg Polly once again, because he didn’t want to have the same conversation with his sister. “Polly, Please”, he insisted: “I wouldn’t ask you, if it wasn’t really important to me.”

“What is so important about one woman, that you have the great urge to meet her?”

That was the question he was asking himself all week, but okay. Now he needed to come up with an answer or otherwise he would have to get comfortable with the thought he would never see her again.

He licked his lips as he assembled the words in his brain to a convincing answer. “She has…”, he began, but then he got lost again.

“Huge cans?”, Arthur purposed with a big smile on his face.

But John shook his head: “Not that, her tits are average, there is something else about her and I can’t say what yet, that’s why I need to find out…. Or I go crazy.”

He turned to Polly and put on his puppy eyes again. “Do you want me to go crazy, Polly?”

Pol pouted and sighed. “Fine, you get your will again, but that’s the last time and don’t ever bother me with this again.”

His eyes shined bright in the lights of success and more importantly… winning an argument with his aunt. “Thank you and I’ll never bother you again.”

The matriarch went her way around her reign and said to herself: “We’ll see about that.”

Now this problem found its solution, the next question popped up in his head. Where were his kids? Because he was so caught up with his date, he had forgotten to pick them up from school. It wasn’t a serious issue. Three of them could walk home on their own, but the youngest was a different thing.

In his memory of this day, he had left Katie here, but she wasn’t running around like usually. “Pol, where are the kids?”

“The kids?”, she observed: “Oh, the kids you want to get rid of? You mean… those kids? They are upstairs.”

John grunted. That was far from reality and his aunt should know that. “That’s bullshit. I don’t want to get rid of them.”

“Then act like you care for them once instead of fucking around and I might believe you”, Polly chided and gave him the mean side eye, while she filled the plates with stew.

And she acted like a real bitch lately, John wanted to add, but bid his lip to stop himself from saying something he would regret deeply. It was so annoying how she tried to make him feel guilty for having a night off. He was so sick of this. Either he was working or he was with his kids and he had little or no time for himself. Just the few hours when they were asleep and he could go to the Garrison for a beer or two.

“It’s just one date!”, he yelled, but then clenched his fists and swallowed his anger and repeated quietly: “It’s just one date.”

The room was quiet now. Nobody said or did anything for a while.

Then Polly started moving again and explained: “You should focus on getting a wife and not play around with some floosy girl… but you’re an adult now, John, so do whatever you want… just don’t drag me into your mess.”

John nodded and went upstairs to get his kids. Yes, he was still bitter about the things Polly said to him, but he wouldn’t let this ruin his day. After all he had plans. Maybe he gripped the banister a little too tight, well, at least he didn’t bellowed at his children, when he found them making a mess in his old room.

All four were sitting here and around them were all the toys they had. Most of them were his old toys or some from his brothers.

“Lunch is ready”, he grunted and waited for them to get up, so they would follow him. They just stared at him with wide eyes.

His oldest daughter was the first to talk: “We heard you yell at Aunt Polly…”

He didn’t answer instead he just moaned and leaned against the wall.

“You’re away tonight”, she added and tilted her head. There was curiosity in her eyes. It didn’t bother him, but something else did. She had the same eyes as her mother. Like a dagger it pierced his heart, whenever she gave him this look. Martha used to do this as well.

Slowly he nodded. He couldn’t lie to his kids at all. “Yes, but you’ll be staying here and Polly will bring you home, when it’s bed time.”

Breanna thought about this for a second and then like this whole conversation had never happened, she stood up and helped her little sister to get on her feet as well. “Well, it’s time for lunch now”, she declared and look at her twin brother: “C’mon, James, we still got homework to do.”

Now that she was standing, John could see how small she was actually. Sometimes he forgot, she was still a child, but the way she acted was different. His oldest daughter had picked up a lot from Polly and her mother, while he was in France. However he tried to not treat her like an adult. She wasn’t and her childhood shouldn’t be ripped from her. Breanna didn’t need to protect her siblings from anything and yet she still thought it was her job.

James on the other hand was quite the opposite. Loud, angry, such a brat, he picked up fight, whenever he could, much like his father at that age.

Luckily his older brother Colin was also a voice of reason and not as chaotic as James. Colin was the oldest and he didn’t actually talk much, but on somedays and with certain persons he wouldn’t shut up. Most of the time Colin did good in school, read a lot, unlike his uncle Finn who was just five years older than him. And more importantly… Colin did everything his father asked him to.

And then here was Katie, the youngest. Just three years old and a sweet girl, but she was of fragile condition. She was born prematurely and was also the reason why Martha died. John tried to ignore the fact, because even though she was the reason, it wasn’t her fault. How could she? She didn’t pick her time to be born. However from time to time, Katie managed to make him cry. After the war, he rarely shed tears, but every time she was sick and he had to go with her to the hospital, he lost his nerves. She was still his little baby and the thought of losing her too wrecked him.

They were all on their way downstairs and John followed them back. He held Katie’s hands while walking down the stairs.

The lunch was very silent. There was still tension left in the room, but John didn’t cared. Katie was sitting on his lap and they both ate from the same plate, like they always did. But it wasn’t a cute ritual, more like a space problem, with all the family members around the table, it was a little cramped. Too cramped for Katie to have her own stool. Another reason, why he needed a wife. So he and his family could eat in his kitchen and they would all have enough space again.

A part of John was worried Polly or Arthur mentioned his date to Tommy, who would gladly take the opportunity to ruin his day. His older brother would pick all the question, John had been asking all week and then make him look stupid in front of the whole family. But apparently Polly was too pissed about the fight to say anything that day and John thanked god for this.

Somehow Katie spilled the stew all over his pants, but he had no time to go back home and change his pants. He still needed to finish the books and after that, he could get dressed for his date.

So John sat in his office in a damp suit and tried to fix what he did wrong before lunch.

Maybe the luck was on his side today after all, because he managed to get everything done early. Somethings didn’t went as smooth as he had wished for, but at least it worked out so well, that he could go to the date and it was still a win for him.

As fast as possible without running he walked home and sprinted up the stairs to the master bedroom. Now he could change his cloths and he was indeed very happy about it. The stew had dried on his leg, which made his skin itchy. Basically he ripped his clothes off the second he arrived in his room.

“Fuck.” A curse left his lips, because he got stuck in his pants and almost hit the floor. Last second he got his balance back and then threw his pants in the opposite direction. He could care about this later.

First he had to clean the stains from his body. So he rushed to the kitchen, just in his underwear and rubbed his leg with a wet cloth. This had to be enough. With the time he had left, he couldn’t take a bath.

Back in his room again, he stood in front of the cabinet and picked the first suit he had in his hand. There was no discussion about this. Suits were suits and he had plenty of them, all of them looked good on him and she wouldn’t even mind, would she?

While he button up his shirt, he stopped all the sudden. What if she would mind? Slowly he walked backwards to the cabinet. Should he wear his Sunday suit? Thought and thoughts came rushing in. She seemed like a fine lady, but yet she agreed to meet with him. Maybe she wouldn’t, if it wasn’t for the bet.

He got headache since his argument with Polly and it got worse. Maybe he would go to the spot, where they should meet and she wasn’t there. The possibility, that she tricked him, hadn’t occurred in his mind until now.

Honestly, John felt so stupid, when he realized how weird the coincidence was. What were his chances to be so lucky? To meet a beautiful, wealthy and unmarried woman, who was also funny and charming and mysterious and he could find a ton more of adjectives to describe her? And then win the round and the bet, he had made with her? What were his chances for that? So either he was one of the luckiest men in this world or a goddamn idiot.

Or maybe… his mind tricked him. He was pretty drunk after all and in his twisted mind the details of this scene got lost. Maybe he didn’t win the round, but because he wished so bad for it, he had changed his memory of that said night. Maybe he was so lonely he made up this perfect woman, because he couldn’t bare his poor existence anymore.

And did he think about his stupid suit so much?

Yes, he was nervous, but this was no explanation for this nonsense.

Right now, John was freaking out about a woman he barely knew. It reminded him of a time, where he did the same thing… but with Martha, a girl he had known all his life. Back then and today he was well aware of why he was so nervous around his first wife. He loved her and he was afraid of saying or doing something very stupid.

But he didn’t loved that Russian woman. He couldn’t, not after only one kiss. It was impossible and yet the kiss felt so real. The memory of her lips was burned into his mind and it drove him crazy.

And he didn’t know, why he had this feeling, which wasn’t love and he didn’t even know what it was, and suddenly he had more questions in his head than he ever had in his whole life.

Usually, he didn’t think that much about anything. He wasn’t the guy who put much thought into every little thing that happened around him.

Everything he wanted to do now was to yell. He couldn’t even put his frustration into words anymore. His head was full of white noise.

Barefooted he stood on the wooden floor of his bedroom, which he used to share with the love of his life. John took a few deep breaths and looked around. Everything was still the same. After the war he had no energy to change something in here, even though it was just fueling his mental health issues. There was still her cabinet with her dresses and her stuff and sometimes when he was particularly lonely, he felt the fabric and imagined her soft body under it. It didn’t smell like Martha anymore, but sometimes he wished.

It felt like suffocating. He couldn’t breathe nor cry, even though tears filled his eyes.

He walked over to his nightstand and looked at the photograph of her. “You don’t get to fucking judge me”, he whispered: “Like you always did. You died and I’m still here and I love you and I always will, but don’t ruin this for me.”

“You put all these questions in my head, so I’ll fuck up and ruin everything”, he argued… with his dead wife like she was there. And he could imagine her so well, standing next to him with her arms crossed in front of her chest and that piercing look in her eyes.

Even before she died, he talked a lot to her and about her and sometimes just to himself, but it just got worse, when he came home from France. He can’t handle the silence in the room nor the void his head. Suddenly he said with a soft voice: “I know, what I promised you back then and when I made that promise, I believed every word of it, but you can’t be the only woman I’ll ever love now. You are dead.”

He wasn’t there when she died and the worst part was… he hadn’t even known until he got home. Polly said, she was about to write a letter, but then she couldn’t, because she didn’t want to bother him, while he was in the trenches. Of course, he had worries, when he didn’t get a letter from his wife in months. John just thought she was mad at him, because she was pregnant again while he was away. And then he came home and his house was empty. No Martha and no kids. So he walked back to Polly’s Place and then she told him. His wife was dead and he was surrounded by his family, but he had never felt so lonely in the world.

To this very day, this memory haunted him in the worst way.

And yet, he refused to crumble right away. Not before it had even started. Life was going on and he refused to just stand there, while the time passed. He would walk, run away from this memory if he had to.

“Let me try it at least”, he bargained: “You don’t know her and neither do I. She could be a beast, a real bitch and maybe, just maybe I don’t want to see her again. And maybe I’ll do, but that’s not your decision. I make my own decisions now, because that’s how things work for the living people, Martha.”

It hurt to say her name, but he had to. The word had so much power over him and he took this power back, by saying it. Then he flipped the photograph over and walked back to the cabinet.

Without a second doubt he picked his finest suit and just like that Martha was gone. She would come back eventually, but right now he had other things to do. Like do his hair and drink a little sip of whiskey for confidence.

With a toothpick in his mouth, he left the house and walked the road. All alone.

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