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#there are so many people it's gonna be a blood bath
harrylights · 1 year
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dilftaroooo · 5 months
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Request: True form Sukuna claiming his offering in front of her village.
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im gonna write this as a drabble :3
★tags/tw: uhh implied cannibalism + cervix fucking + sukuna is pretty misogynistic + fem!reader + discrimination against humans(?) idfk + true form!sukuna + loss of virginity
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You delicately sit in the middle of the stage, introducing yourself to the slew of men and women scattered about like spilled salt on a kitchen table. Your legs are spread to present to them your blooming flower--still pink and untouched. It twitches under the many watchful eyes of diverse emotions--horror, confusion, lust, envy. They all poured down on you amid a lethal storm, droplets pounding your skin and soaking you thoroughly. You turn your head to avoid the plethora of wicked gazes. The feeling is overwhelming.
Behind you lies a demon. A great being, an entity that holds more power than anyone close or far. His teeth are sharp, his eyes are beady, and his stomach is hungry for the innocence of a fresh maiden. The people of your village brought you here. They made sure your scent was pleasant and that you were garbed in the cleanest of silk--your uchikake was adorned in floral patterns reminiscent of the trees that bloomed near your home.
They knew you'd be deemed a perfect offering for Sukuna-sama, the King of Curses--you're a sweet girl with a pure body, your breasts are full and your thighs are plump. They were sure if their King ever grew bored of you, he could easily dispose of your youthful frame by savoring your flesh and keeping your skull as a precious souvenir. Innocents always taste sweeter than most.
Though your legs were spread, they weren't spread enough for Sukuna as he already gripped your thighs with a strict pressure you weren't unfamiliar with. The squelch that leaves your pussy parts as he further widens your limbs was a sound everyone managed to capture. You're wet and slimy and maybe somewhat aroused. Your King is an attractive beast with a chiseled chin and a beguiling grin. Intricate, onyx lines surface the apex of his taut muscles and the sight makes you clench around thin air. You ponder on what he'd look like if he were a mere human such as yourself.
"All of you!" He starts, his voice booms through the premises and you're surprised by how powerful the echo is despite not being in an enclosed space. As expected, everyone gears their eyes toward the four-armed monster in preparation for his next words. "I want you mortal freaks to watch me fuck this girl you were so kind to offer me. If it hadn't been for this young duckling I would've already slaughtered this putrid village and watched my militia of curses swallow you whole."
He's quick for his size as he brings you onto his hefty lap, and from there you already feel one of his cocks coat itself against your wet slit. He's huge and lingering at the back of your mind, you wonder if you would die at first thrust. His tip is an angry red, livid from the languid teasing performed by its heaving owner from rubbing it across the length of your weeping cunt. It isn't long before his playful ministrations are seduced into slamming inside you.
You weren't even spared a moment of reconsideration for your hymen was already snapped into two, disintegrating upon impact. It would have been a shame to experience your deflowering with a prominent tummy bulge if it wasn't for how much your mind and soul revere the beast overlapping your weak presence.
You were his and he was his own as he violently hammered himself down to the hilt. You bathed him in the blood of a former virgin while he hits that bruised cervix within you. Your back is against that sculpted chest you worship dearly and his sweat rubs off on you is strong with his pheromones.
"Sukuna-sama," You mewl because he's so deep in your pussy that you can't fight back the urge to call out his name. He responds with a finger to your clit and a hand on your breast, making it his duty to circle a thick finger around your nipple.
"I don't remember granting you permission to speak now, did I?" His tone is dark enough to make you believe you've done something utterly wrong but your apology comes out in a series of wanton moans. He chuckles at how the pathetic always act so miserably.
"But since you're clasping around me so tightly," Burgundy red orbs glare at the side of your left cheek, previously moistened with tears of pain and gratitude. "I'll let your sheer idiocracy go. I don't think any of the past wenches you humans throw at me grip my dick this hard. I assume they were used up til they were nothing but a gaping hole." Then he frowns.
"They must think poorly of me."
Sukuna cherishes the screams rushing out of your throat as you take him inch by overbearing inch, stretching you out to accommodate his length and girth. You're nothing but his plaything.
You practically forget the crowd casted in front of you once you hear subdued chattering coming from multiple voices, all laced with different tones with different perceptions. You feel like a common whore.
Throughout, Sukuna never kissed you. He believes he should not taste the lips of a revolting human for it'll taint his palate. He just fucks into you as you bounce like some ragdoll abandoned by a little girl. But if life has fated you with the opportunity to become Sukuna's, your King's, toy, then may you not change the inevitable.
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rafesslxt · 11 days
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✧.* 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑵𝒁𝑶 𝑩𝑬𝑹𝑲𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑹𝑬 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵
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[ aftercare ] ― oh he would be the sweetest boy after sex – running you a bath after a long and intense session, using your favorite bathing stuff so you can relax in it
[ body part ] ― he loves everything on your body but especially your neck, hips, stomach and ass. All soft skin for him to taste. On his own body he likes his stomach, trained abs and v lines
[ cum ] ― also would go feral seeing his cum on you - loves it when you swallow
[ desires ] ― He‘s a switch so when he‘s in control he gets turned on by seeing you tembling under his touch
When he‘s sub oh boy – he‘s a moaning mess as soon as you start whispering dirty things into his ear and how you wanna ride his cock. "Shit baby, please.. let‘s go to my dorm, need you."
[ experience ] ― he would be quiete experienced even tho he seems shy to many he just knows how to seduce the girls and lure them in. He has a lot one night stands but always makes it clear from the start that this is a one time thing
[ first time ] ― he was quiete a mess with all these new feelings and sensations on his body
[ grooming ] ― completly shaved - i can‘t explain why
[ horny ] ― oh sex is defined important to him and he would be horny all the time especially with you as his girlfriend by his side. Just a look at your skirt would be enough to have him turned on in his seat. Just 2 days without sex and he would have blue balls already
[ intimacy ] ― he can do both – romantic and casual. Depends on his partner and his relationship with them. If it‘s just a fling he would be more casual but If he‘s with his gf then he would do romantic stuff like candles and rose petals all over to floor
[ joker ] ― he would be clumsy sometimes and is able to laugh with you while having sex
[ kinks ] ― he has so many and is open to experimenting with you from all possible positions to any kind of kink. He would love being a sub from time to time, has a classic daddy kink, breeding kink, orgasm control, edging, tying yours or his hands up to the bed and so on – kinky little baby
[ locations ] ― he loves to do it in front of people but in a way no one notices. He would make you cockwarming him under a blanket while you‘re in the common room with the rest of the gang, slowly circling your hips. He would whisper in your ear. "Hmm If you continue moving I‘m gonna drag you to your dorm or fuck you over the desk in front of us, you want that, doll?"
[ masturbation ] ― he loves to do it with you together or when he knows he‘s not allowed to and lets himself get caught just so you punish him. But sometimes he would be a good boy and not touch himself, begging under you. "hmm baby please I‘ve been such a good boy. I didn‘t even touch myself!“
[ no go ] ― knife play. He likes slapping you or grabbing you harshly If you like it too but knife play would be a no go. Not because of the blood but because of the pain and knowing he could leave scars
[ oral ] ― a munch like Mattheo. He would beg you to eat you out, begging for your pussy to ride his face but he also enjoys getting a blowjob
[ positions ] ― 69 for sure so he can pleasure you while you suck his cock, also you riding him while he sucks on your nipples and watching you bounce up and down on him
[ quickies ] ― he would use every chance to do them between classes, in the bathroom in the broomsticks, before quidditch practice, before a quidditch game, while throwing a party in the common room so no one notices you‘re gone for too long
[ rounds ] ― high stanima since he‘s playing sports. He would go round for round until you‘re all sensetive and he would make you come over and over again until you‘re a whimpering mess beneath him. "Just one more baby, I promise.. just one more time, for me.“
[ secrets ] ― panty thief for sure. When you two are just friends and he has a crush on you, he would steal them when you‘re not looking or falling asleep while doing a movie marathon with him
[ toys ] ―he would love teasing your pulsating clit with your vibrator. "oh baby what was that? Can‘t hear you over all these pretty little noises."
But also when you use a cockrimg on him so he couldn‘t come "oh fuck please baby let me come. I need to come so fucking bad, oh shit –" he would be a whimpering mess when you start the vibrating mode.
[ underwear ] ― black is simple but would make him go crazy
[ volume ] ― let‘s be honest – he‘s definitely vocal doesn‘t matter If he‘s dom or sub in that moment. "God your pussy is so fucking tight baby, feel you milking my cock – merlin"
[ watch ] ― he would share you but only with his closest friends and when you really want to. He also enjoys watching you touching yourself – sometimes it‘s a punishment for him when he‘s a bad boy
[ xxx ] ― barely - cause of all the quickies you two have
[ yearning ] ― i feel like he would be a tease and try to get a reaction out of you until you can‘t tale it anymore
[ zzz ] ― he would cuddle with you and then drifting of to sleep with you together
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[ this is how I see Enzo, you don‘t have to like or agree 🤍 ]
thank you for reading and supporting 🫶🏻 heres my masterlist
taglist: @little-miss-naill @itsarajr @hisparentsgallerryy @littlemadamred @ummmmmmm-username @jeannie-beannie @belle-blue @sagetakami @simp-for-fantasy [send me a message If you wanna get removed from taglist]
xoxo sarah <3
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rainylana · 1 month
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“I’m always going to take care of you.” Alternate version!
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: this is a new version of my old series i wrote last year. so many people have asked to see more of how eddie deals with such a horrible thing happening to the reader, so here we go, this is for you!
warnings: PLEASE READ! this is purposely written, in the beginning, as fast paced. i was trying to establish a sense of anxiety and fear while writing it because of how quickly it happened. the assault happens differently and does not go into much detail this chapter, but will during the next. i purposely switched povs because i still wanted to give insight to the reader. so with that being said, warnings for this fic include: rape, blood and bruises, broken bones, hospitalization, language, smoking of weed, trauma and shock, lots of tears and angst. please, please, let me know what you thought and if there’s anything i need to go about differently. it’s been a year since i’ve properly revisited this series. i feel like this version will be much darker and will take more of a toll. let me know your thoughts and if anything needs changed. i never spellcheck lol. this one’s for all of us. i see you and feel you. much love, lana.
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Steve Harrington’s parties were the kind that were talked about for weeks on end. The music, the food, the house. It was a mansion, and there had been many of times were you and Eddie had slept in multiple rooms of that house, unbeknownst to the owners knowledge.
This party was no different. Bodies were on bodies, beer was spilled and the pool was splashing every drop of water out into the flower bed, that was no covered in trash. There was a basketball court that entertained the jocks. It was an absolute mansion.
You were somewhere. Eddie would see you from time to time getting more beer or a snack, coming over to check on him. He closed his eyes, taking a long drag and leaned against the wall. “Shit, this shit is good.” He coughed slightly, letting his arms fall at his sides, black sleeves pulled up at his elbows.
You found him eventually, hair slightly wet from being splashed at the pool, a towel wrapped around your shoulders. Most everyone was wearing their bathing suits. You smiled when you sat down beside him, laughing at the redness of his eyes. “Feelin good, Eddie?” You tapped his chin.
He grinned at you goofily. “Shit, is the shit, babe. Wanna try?” He offered it to you.
You plopped down on your ass and sat beside him, saying hi to all the others that joined the circle. You laid your head on his shoulder. “Sure you don’t want to come swim with me, Ed? It feels good. Moons out, too. It could be romantic.”
“I give you plenty of romance, darlin’.” He said through hooded eyes, armed laid lazily around your wet shoulders. “Damn, your tits are out!” He exclaimed, finally realizing you had changed, eyes bulging for dramatics.
You laughed and rolled your eyes. “My tits are not out. Everyone is wearing them! You picked it out, don’t you remember?”
“Baby, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of anything right now.” He was practically drooling at the mouth, giggling like a child and floating off into space.
“Uh, huh.” You gave him a look before turning to the rest of the group. “He’s cut off.”
He was too stoned to realize what you had said, curling up in himself and lulling his head against the wall, eyes drooping closed.
“Eddie, Eddie, oh, okay,” You sighed, watching as he fell asleep. “I’m serious, Gareth, make sure he doesn’t do anything else. I got to carry this guy home, you know.”
You sat with Eddie for almost an hour, making sure he was alright. He always was. He always got tired when he smoked weed, you did too, but not near as much as he did. You gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling everyone else you’d be back and that you were going to change your clothes.
You went to the same room you always did, walked up the same steps and same corridor, the air cool against the exposure of your wet skin. Nobody was upstairs. You had planned for a quick change and nothing more, but you hadn’t any idea what was waiting for you behind the door, or the fact you were being followed.
Eddie was in and out of it, waking up here and there if someone spoke loudly enough. Dustin kept laughing, about what, he didn’t know or care. He just wanted to sleep. Later on he would realize that it was probably an act of God that he heard you, because there was no scientific explanation for it. He shouldn’t have heard you.
The music was booming loud, playing a hit from Blondie over the speakers. People were chugging beers, getting high and fucking out in the shed outside, the bedrooms above. The lights were flashing on and off, mixtures of colors painting the walls, their bodies. There was no way he could of heard you, yet he did.
He felt as if he were dreaming at first. His eyes were still closed, body numb from the awkward position he was in. It felt like a loud thumping at first, like something had hit the floor. Then a crash, something had broke. Then a high pitched noise, someone had screamed. It had to have been a dream, because he swore it was you.
Eddies eyes peeled open slowly, foggy and clouded from his high, but he didn’t feel so good anymore, and was left with a chill up his spine. He looked to the right of him to find you gone. “Gareth?” His voice was gravely and deep. “Where’d y/n go?”
Gareth pointed up the stairs quickly, eager to get back to his conversation with Robin about her thoughts on the new Back to the Future movie. Eddie had pushed himself up and found the stairs. It was a mansion, having had to climb four sets of stairs before he could find the hallway. Each set he could hear it clearer. He still shouldn’t have. The music was too loud. He could feel the vibrations underneath his feet against the wood flooring.
He walked quicker and quicker, the sounds of crashing, screaming, begging, becoming louder and louder. Soon, he heard his own name, and he knew it was you. He was running then, as fast as he could to find you. And when he did, the last door on the left, the same room you both had slept in many of times, he was brought to pure horror.
You weren’t entirely sure what was happening. Well, you did. You had been raped. You were just confused what was happening now. You were sitting up, staring blankly at the floor. Eddie was down at your feet, saying something, saying a lot of things, actually, but you couldn’t hear him. It sounded like he was underwater. Your ears were ringing, and he kept dabbing his hand under your nose. Were you bleeding?
Your hands were vibrating, along with the other parts of your body, shaking like you were having a seizure. Surely you’d pass out soon. Everything you felt was heightened. The pain, the emotion, or lack of. You soon realized you were going into shock.
You felt everything, yet nothing, all at the same time.
Four seconds.
It had taken four seconds for Eddie to react. Four seconds for him to decide what to do. He’d found you bent over the bed, hands pinned above your head and legs split apart. The man above you, twice your size, twice his size, a man he’d never seen before, raping you. It had taken him four seconds to react.
The man above you had stopped when Eddie had come in, staring at him in the act with a look of surprise and shock. Eddie lunged then, knocking the man over and into a side table that crumbled under their weight, a string of punches and curses, the sound of choking and items breaking. There was so much noise, but you didn’t hear any of it. You laid there, bent over, legs spread, a mixture of blood and semen seeping out of you as you stared straight ahead, fixated on the painting in front of you.
Steve and his mom at the beach.
You didn’t hear the sound of Eddie’s cry of pain when your attacker punched the wind out of him, you didn’t hear him run out of the room or Eddie’s footsteps after him, halting halfway and returning back to you. You kept thinking of Steve and his mom. She was so sweet. You really should spend more time with her.
All of that, led to now.
“Baby, baby, please, please, say something!” He panicked, knelt down at your legs, holding your arms to keep you upright, “Oh, God,” He took another look at your legs, covered in blood. “Oh, my god, Oh, my god.” He covered his mouth briefly, not knowing what to do. “Okay, okay,” He jumped up, running to the joining bathroom to grab a towel. “Okay, baby, I got this, see?” He started quickly wiping away at the blood, switching his eyes from his legs to you.
It looked like you’d been killed, or were dying. You said nothing, deathly pale, face stained with tears and mascara, deep bruising that painted your cheeks and eyes purple. Your lip was busted and bleeding. You were shaking with tremors, your breath coming out in little pants that were uneven. You were choking on your sobs, not a single one being allowed out. It hurt to sit, the pain in your abdomen was almost unbearable.
Eddie didn’t realize it himself, but he was also going in to shock. It became harder and harder to get the blood off of you due to his shaky hands, and his breathing become more sporadic and choppy. “I’m getting it, honey. I’m trying.” He said, words coming out in a rush. The towel was stained red when he’d finished, your legs still coated, stained by the blood from inside of you. He looked you over, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to do.
“Y/n,” He gasped, reaching up to grab your face. “Talk to me. Are you hurt? Where does it hurt at?”
You couldn’t look at him. It felt impossible. Your eyes were so heavy. His voice still sounded as if he were underwater, his movements slow, like he was fighting off a current, and you suddenly became freezing, trembling harder like you were out in the snow. Maybe it was the shock.
“Honey, please,” Eddie begged you, eyes tearing up. “I don’t know what to do.”
When he noticed how hard you were shaking, he jumped up and got a blanket from the chair, wrapping it around your body and sitting next to you. “Okay, here, I’m here. Steve!” His scream snapped you out of it, making you gasp and jump.
“No!” Your voice was hoarse, burning as you screamed. “No!” You tried to stand but you collapsed, pointing to the door. “Close the door! Close the door!”
Your urgency made him obey quickly, and he was slamming the door and locking it within a second. “Y/n-”
“You can’t tell anyone!” You sobbed, wobbling on your legs. You were a sight, one that would traumatize him for the rest of his life. “No one, swear it! Let’s just go home!” You we’re a wreck, sobbing, hyperventilating, shaking. Surely you would faint.
“Angel, baby,” He tried to approach you, but you freaked.
“No!” You jumped away. “Don’t- don’t touch me, please!” Was the room getting darker?
“Okay, okay,” He held up his hands, heart racing and bulging, fearful eyes. “I won’t touch you. I’ll stay right here, okay?”
You nodded, mouth opening and closing, feet shuffling, limping, trying to stay upright. Surely, you would faint.
His elbows are on his knees, hands pressed against his mouth. The chair he’s in is uncomfortable, an ache in his back that matches the one in his heart. Wayne is there, sitting across from him on the other side of the room. Steve, Nancy, Robin and Dustin are outside in the waiting room, along with the rest of hellfire. He tried to be discreet. Well no, that wasn’t true. When you’d fainted, Eddie lost it.
He’d swooped you up in his arms, carrying you down stairs, a sobbing mess, looking anywhere for anyone, to help. He found Mike first, then Chrissy Cunningham. The party was over very quickly.
“Eddie.” Wayne said tiredly, wearing a puffed, flannel coat. “Why don’t you go home, bud? I’ll stay with her.”
“No.” He didn’t miss a beat. He was staring a hole right through you, eyes so tearful they looked to be made of glass. “I can’t leave her.”
Wayne knew he wouldn’t leave. It was four in the morning, and you hadn’t shown any signs of life. If it weren’t for the machines, Eddie was sure you would have been dead. You were so quiet, not a stir, not a twitch. Were you dreaming? Was it good or a nightmare?
“She’s alright, buddy. You know that.” Wayne could see the telltale signs of his panic attack coming on. “You heard what the doctor said.”
You had abrasions along your vaginal walls. Your nose was broken, now covered with gauze and medical tape. You had two broken ribs, bruises covering your entire body. The doctor had asked him questions he didn’t know the answer to. Eddie knew what had happened, but what had really happened?
You would be okay. He knew that. You were alive and you survived. But were you okay? What would you become when you woke up? You would be totally traumatized, or would you simply move on with life? He knew the answer and he hated himself for knowing it. He knew the pain you were going to suffer when you woke up. He saw it. He saw what it was you would have to endure. A part of him wished you would sleep peacefully forever.
It felt like every vital organ inside of him had been ripped apart, like his stomach had been cut and everything spilled out. He’d thrown up twice since they got to the hospital. It been hours since you both got there. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d saw. Your body being used, abused by a man who had beaten you up, raped you, split you open and left bloody.
“Oh, god, Wayne.” Eddie broke down in sobs, shoulders sinking and face hiding into his hands for a shield, a mask to hide from the world. “This is all my fault.”
The image of you had scared his brain, the mental image something he thought he’d never be able to erase. Through everything he had gone through, this moment here, was the worst moment he had ever lived through, and he himself, would make a deal with god if he could, just to take your place, to take it all away. The love of his life was in pain, and it caused him more hurt than he could have ever imagined.
His uncle looked at him, saddened and distraught for the both of you. “Don’t say that, Eddie. You know she’d hate to hear you say somethin’ like that.”
Eddie’s body shook with heavy, deep and broken cries. “It is. I was asleep. I was asleep and stoned out of my mind while she was being raped right above me!” He practically spat the words with a venomous hatred, throwing out his arm as he looked at you longingly. “I failed her. Her, of all people. I fuckin’ failed the one thing I care about most. How the hell am I supposed to live with this?”
Wayne watched him stare at you, stare at you and cry like he was mourning for the entire world, like you had been taken from him.
“How are we supposed to be okay after this, Wayne?” He looked like a little boy then, looking over to his uncle with big, brown eyes. “How can I…how can she ever forgive me?” Another sob, and another. Wayne was sat beside him now, holding his shoulders as Eddie cried.
“You two have been through hell together.” The old man said, on hand on his nephews new. “You’ll get through this. She will and you will. She stood by your side when you were dying, remember? She helped you through it. It did you both in, but you got through it, didn’t you?
He didn’t answer, but he heard his uncle loud and clear. He didn’t know how he’d do it, but he’d help you in every way he could. He owed it to you. You’d patched him up, held him through nightmares and insecurities about his scars. You fed him, helped clothed him and helped him keep himself clean when he was still too sore to move around. You had put your own life on pause for him. He owed it to you to do the same. In his eyes, it was his own fault it happened, anyways.
“Yeah.” Eddie sniffled, wiping away his tears with his jacket. “Yeah, I- you’re right. You’re right. I can help her. I’ll help her. She’ll be okay.”
“She’ll be okay.” Wayne assured him.
He didn’t realize just how hard it was going to be, how a giant rift in your relationship would almost separate the two of you. That the both of you would be forever changed from that night.
Eddie gulped, blinking back tears as he looked at the steady beating of your heart in the vital screen. “She’ll be okay.”
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Gay wrongs tournament, round 2.5 of the major bracket
Propaganda:
For Eddie Brock and Venom:
I'm pretty sure its Canon in the comics and like, Canon adjacent in the 2nd movie??? Idk I just watched the first one sooo, anyways, this isn't propaganda i just couldn't remember if you said they needed to be Canon so I put what I rembered about that here, idk I'm proboboly just gonna send the propaganda in the ask box at a later date 
They eat people:) venom is an alien symbiote and Eddie is the host and they have melded together into one being. They care for and protect each other and are so intimately intwined they are only ever separated by force. Also they’re both absolute disasters and they periodically bite and eat the heads off their enemies. 
They eat people <3 
For Will and Hannibal:
Ive previously only heard the term "murder husbands" refer to hannigram so it feels flitting. The whole series culminated with a murder they did together bathing in blood. 
The show and ship that coined murder husbands. It’s in the text in s3 from a journalist side character. They do Many murders either together or as a message to each other. Usually this involves turning the dead body into an art piece. The show ends with them killing a guy together in a slo mo scene backed by porno music.
They're both batshit and manipulative.
ALRIGHT so they're not canonically together but it is HEAVILY implied and they have some sort of fucked up psychosexual obsession with each other. in the later parts of the show they start committing murder and cannibalism together and they're soooo unhinged but it's awesome
kill people for each other. maim each other. kill people together. most batshit insane metaphors. send each other to jail. ruin everyone’s lives. someone can probably say this better than me but these gay people are insane
Literally THE murder husbands. They kill for each other. They've tried to kill each other. They're canon in all but name, like the homoeroticism between these two is the driving force of the show.
one time hannibal folded a guy into an origami human heart
They are in love and they kill and eat people. They are called Murder Husbands in canon.
The original murder husbands (literally, that's not just their ship name, they get called that in canon)
The show begins with Will working for the FBI and trying to catch Hannibal, but because Hannibal is so intrigued by the way Will is able to see the world and the motives behind the killings so easily, it becomes a game of Hannibal isolating Will even more from the people around and seducing him to try and kill. By the time Will starts embracing the side of him that Hannibal sees, he starts oulling back and trying to distance himself so that when the time comes for Will to fully embrace himself and Hannibal, no one really suspects what they have planned. 
hannibal literally does murder as courtship and it works bc will is also a fucked up little guy
I'm actually quite offended they aren't included by default (joke). They are THE murder husbands!!!!!! (mod note: they should have been, but I wanted to see how many submissions they'd get. They got 19, making them a little more than 6% of total submission count).
do i have to say it. they literally get called murder husbands IN THE SHOW
There are 3201 works for Hannibal on ao3 tagged Murder Husbands. They are the ogs, they are the pioneers we owe it all to them.
THEE murder couple. You know it. I know it. They commit crimes at each other as courting and then commit crimes together and then fall off a cliff to wash up somewhere and live on to serve cunt. Get referred to as 'murder husbands' in canon. What more do you need
Hannigram were literally called Murder Husbands in canon, they are the og, they are THE blueprint. They were gay as hell and comitted so much murder so many crimes. THEY RAN OFF TO EUROPE TOGETHER.
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Consequences | Prologue
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Summary: Only nine and ten, she does not know much about the world and when she acquires a job at the Red Keep as a maidservant, she catches the dark and ominous attention of the One-Eyed Prince. Unsure if she even wants it, she may realise that the realm is not so kind to lowborn women, regardless of the situation they find themselves in | Word Count: 1.4k~ | Warnings below the cut!
Series Masterlist
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, dark, medieval-canon sexism, dub-con, mean Aemond, manipulation, gore, blood, violence, major angst
A/N: This is intended to be a dark one, so please read all the warnings before continuing. Warnings will be highlighted when needed. Aemond’s gonna be pretty mean, self-serving and not at all very nice in this one! Basically a spoilt prince reaping the benefits, so beware. You know me, I love a bit of angst.
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She liked being early to rise.
It meant that for a few small moments, she could pretend that the hallways were all her own. However brief they were. It was a small slither of peace for the young maidservant. 
That was at least until the Red Keep began to wake. The murmured whispers of the staff to one another, organising the various meals for the royal family, making sure their clothes were ready and prepared, ensuring that their rooms were neat and tidy for their arrival back to their chambers and drawing their baths at their behest.
It was tough work at times, but it was good, honest labour and for her services, she was paid much more than she could have even dreamed of. That said, most of it was sent to her younger siblings where she could spare it, but it was still entirely novel and rewarding to earn her own coin.
It was a fine, clear day like any other. The servant’s quarters were bustling with busy maidservants, rushing around after their allocated jobs. Most of the other maidservants were of a similar age, but their temperaments fierce away from the forced politeness they were obligated to offer the royal family. It could very often get catty. And sometimes it was best to say little at all, where it could be helped. People talked, gossiped and made fun for themselves in the dreary, everyday lull of being at the behest of King and Queen. She did not blame them for making said fun, but perhaps it was naïve of her to believe it could be done without cruelty.
One particular girl, who was not much older than her, assumed a role akin to a elder sister amongst the little band of maidservants. She had chestnut hair that was braided like the other staff, in plaits and pulled behind the head, stuck with pins and out of the way. Her name was Hedi and possibly short for something, but she dare not ask.
“Ah, there you are,” Hedi smiled in a sing-songy way, gesturing for her to come and join them, “You are to go to Prince Aemond’s rooms and take his clothes with you. He will be expecting for his old bedsheets to be taken away,” she instructed, oblivious to the way the little maid servant's eyes widened. 
“Hedi, I have never-”
“Better you meet him now and get it over with, child,” she responded, pushing the bundle of clothes into her hands, ignoring the unsure look on her face. 
She had heard many things about the One-Eyed Prince. Aemond Targaryen. The second son of King Viserys and Queen Alicent.
Since her employment at the Red Keep only a few moons ago, she had rarely seen any of the royal family with the exception of infrequent refills of their wine decanters at the dinner table. And even then, it was rare she could get a proper look at any of them as the halls were dark and lit only by candles at the table, obscuring some of their faces.
She had only heard stories of them.
Upon employment, Alicent had instructed Hedi that the new staff were not to be around her first son, Prince Aegon, by any means necessary. And though at the time, Hedi was not given any more information, she told the rest of the maidservants that she surmised that some wrongdoings caused the previous staff to leave King’s Landing altogether, moon tea in their bellies and a purse of gold dragons to keep their silence.
This did nothing to calm her nerves though, for she sometimes saw him walking around the Keep. Though she was advised to not spare a glance, she felt the weight of his eyes on her, and the other maidservants said the same.
Princess Helaena was a sort of anomaly. Nobody ever really saw her. Or perhaps she just made less of a fuss compared to her brothers. The few times she had seen the Princess at the table, Helaena had been staring forward at her plate, murmuring things under her breath.
That only left him, the One-Eyed Prince everyone so lovingly called him. 
She had seen him only once, to her knowledge, at the aforementioned feast. He had been sitting at one end, his seeing eye downcast, looking anywhere but at the individuals he called family at the table before him. He seemed to not move an inch throughout, as if deep in thought. 
She took a deep breath and walked the long, winding path to the main halls of the Red Keep, along the corridor where Prince Aemond’s chambers would be. She whispered to herself that it would be alright, that the other maidservants were just trying to rile her up with fear for the man, for they’d said that he frightened them terribly. 
Willing the shake out of her breath, she stared at the door for a while, thinking that perhaps if she waited for a moment it’d be easier. But it just sent her heart racing even more. Her small fist gingerly knocked. 
“Prince Aemond,” she called softly. 
There was a moment of silence and muffled rustling inside the chambers, presumed to be his bedsheets. 
“Enter,” a groggy, male voice called out in return. 
Without thinking on it for another moment, she quickly slipped inside and though she did not mean to, her eyes briefly looked upon the Prince in his bed, halfway through sitting up tiredly. But her eyes were quickly drawn away once she had realised that there were no clothes on his person, and so with pinkened cheeks she darted to the chair and placed the clothes atop it, making sure everything was there for him before drawing the curtains. Feeling somewhat flustered and out of sorts, she brushed the wayward curl from her face that had fallen loose from her braids and felt that hot annoyance as it continued to tickle her face. 
She ties the curtains together to keep them drawn and her heart quickens when she hears him get out of bed, stretch with a tired groan and pad over to the table near the fireplace. He pours himself a drink of water and is quiet for some time. 
“You are not my usual maid,” he says and when it is clear he is speaking to her, she turns around finally, offering a small nod. 
He is tall, almost unnaturally so. He wears only his nightclothes on his bottom half and leans against one of the armchairs, regarding her with an indescribable look in his one good eye, the other has a sapphire wedged inside, and she thought it must be uncomfortable to sleep with it. For a moment, she swallows nervously, he is broad and strong looking, but not in a burly way, and on his fair skin of his bare chest she can see several scars, all silver from age and hairline thin.
“No, your grace. I was sent to attend to you today,” she responds, shockingly evenly, clasping her hands in front of her before nervously smoothing her hands over her apron.
She sees the way his tongue pokes at his cheek, seemingly annoyed, “Hm,” he responds as he sips his water, “Will you be attending to me from now on?”
Her tongue wets her lips nervously, “I am not sure, your grace.”
He seems like he wants to say more, but he just stands there, across the room, looking at her and enjoying the way she continues to shrink under his gaze.
She pushes that stray hair behind her ear once more as she moves to strip the bed, working quickly and without looking back towards the quiet prince. She can tell however, how his gaze never seems to leave her, watching her with interest. 
“What is your name,” from his lips it almost doesn’t sound like a question, more a demand.
Wound tight with anxiety, she tells him her name, which only makes him turn one side of his lip up in some form of a smile.
Once she has all the sheets folded and ready to take away, she stands with hands clasped, “Is there anything else I can do for you this morning, your grace?”
He taps his finger against the glass he’s holding, as if in thought. And it’s extremely difficult to avert her eyes from the firm planes of his chest, but for the sake of politeness and her position, she forces herself to.
With a soft shake of his head, she gathers the sheets in her arms and makes for the chamber doors and her hand barely brushes the handle before his voice calls out her name.
“Yes, your grace?” she answers, a dusty pink covering her cheekbones with her nerves.
With a genuine, mischievous looking smirk, he strides widely towards her and her eyes never leave his face, feet planted firmly where she stands.
“I want you to attend to me from now on.”
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Datura Pt 11
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Summary: Returning to the Mountain brings up a lot of feelings and Reader tries and fails to keep them all bottled up.
Content Warnings: SMUT (I told you it would come eventually ;) ), a lot of dirty talk, suggestiveness, a little light bondage if you squint, as well as alcohol consumption and drug use.
Author's Note: I apparently have a lot of feelings about sitting in Rhys's lap, 'cause I wrote this Vamp!Rhys fic and this in the same week. I was gonna end it on an angsty note, but the miscommunication trope makes me want to rip my hair out, so I made it fluffy instead (they're adults they can TALK TO EACH OTHER like adults). Anyway, hope ya'll enjoy! As always, let me know if you want to be added to the Tag List, and thank you to everyone who likes, comments and reblogs, ya'll make me want to keep writing <3
Previous chapter/ Master list
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The music is a heavy pulse in your skull, drowning out all thought as the lights flash and flare overhead like dozens of fireworks in time to the beat. Your hips sway, flimsy excuse of a dress clinging to your thighs as you twirl and spin in time to the beat. Dozens of hands pass you a long, keep you spinning and spinning until the lights glitter like stars overhead. You throw your head back and laugh at the way they glitter and stretch along your quickly blurring vision.
Someone passes you another cup and you tip the contents back in one gulp, savoring the burn, relishing in the way it fills your empty stomach. You’ve lost count of how many glasses you’ve had, lost count of where the empty ones go as you move along with the crowd, let the press of bodies move you like an ebbing tide.
A cigarette gets passed your way, the violet smoke filtering in hazy rings around people’s heads like halos. Do you smoke? You can’t remember. Can’t think about why you should care at all as you bring it to your lips and inhale deeply, letting the mirthroot take hold.
This is the most fun you’ve had in weeks, it’s the first time you allow yourself complete unbridled freedom. There is nothing to worry about here but following the music and the flow of drink as the mirthroot makes your body loose and limber.
Strong hands settle on your hips as you take another drag, eyes closed, savoring the burn. You sway your hips under the grip, pushing your body back into the firm planes of the male behind you. You don’t have the presence of mind to be mortified, to think about the way you’re grinding on a stranger in the middle of this crowd of people. 
Warm breath frames your neck, skittering over the golden collar still encircling your throat. “I think you’ve had enough, Darling.”
Mate. Mate. Mate. The words dance around the bargain mark on your ribs, heat flaring in your chest that has nothing to do with the fae wine or the mirthroot and everything to do with the fact that when you’d been dragged back into your cell, it had been empty. Empty and had smelled like her. And you’d thrown yourself against the battered door, claws slashing across the worn iron until they shattered from your fingertips, until you splattered blood across the unyielding iron, dark mist filling the cell until it nearly sucked the air from the room. You don’t know how or why the door held, why your nails couldn’t cut through the strange marks etched into the door; the only thing that was clear is that in retaliation for leaving, your fault or not, she’d taken Rhys and had left you alone in the dark. Days passed without word, without food, until the guards had come and thrown you into a room with the order to bathe and change and be ready in an hour and you complied only with the intent to go right into the Throne Room to rip her throat out with your teeth. But Rhys hadn’t been at her side when you arrived either, hadn’t been a face in the crowd as Amarantha declared to the court that you had slain the twins sent from Hybern for attacking their Queen. The crowd that days ago had been laughing at your plight as you’d been made to kneel on the floor like an animal was now cheering you on like a hero. Fickle and spineless; Amarantha said jump and they asked how high without question or reason. She’d left you to their whims after that and the wine had started flowing and you’d needed to calm the panic and rage swelling like a storm beneath your skin and had reached for one. One had somehow turned into two and then three and you’d lost count after that, lost yourself in the blissful emptiness and tried to forget how powerless you really were in all of this.
You turn in his arms and though he remains standing where he is, there’s suddenly six of him spinning in dizzying circles and you have to grip onto his shoulders to keep yourself on your feet.
“Easy,” he says, his grip on your hips firm.
You’ve forgotten just how big he is compared to you, how much of you he can fit in his hands. You're too far gone to stop yourself from wondering how those hands would feel beneath your dress, on your thighs, spreading you open…
“Easy,” he says again, nostrils flaring like he scents the effect he has on you like this.
Your hands feel like they're drifting through soup as you reach out to brush your hand through his hair. He’s clean too, skin healed, the clothes new and finely pressed. There is no lingering scent of incense, though you’re pretty sure the mirthroot you smell is on your skin and not his, he remains wholly jasmine and citrus. Nothing of her on him.
“You’re ok?” The words slur out of you, sound muffled and distant even as they come out your mouth. You need him to tell you he’s ok, that she didn’t hurt him, that he got called away for something, anything. He does other things for her, he brought in Tamlin all those weeks ago, he has other roles, but you don’t know how to make the words come out against the fog that rolls through your head. “You’re ok?”
“I’m ok,” he says with a nod. “Let’s get you some water.”
You shake your head. Water is somewhere near the tables and lounge chairs in the corner, somewhere she might be lurking, waiting for you to slip up, waiting for her chance to steal him again and you can’t have that. “Want to dance.” Want to dance and drink and forget; want to smoke and move and let the music erase everything that is happening around you so that the only thing that matters is the two of you. It’s an added bonus that if he dances with you then that means he keeps his hands on you, has an excuse to keep touching you. Gods you want more of that!
“Water first,” he says, giving you a little nudge backwards.
The move makes the world spin again and you giggle as you let yourself fall into it. 
“Wow, you’re really drunk,” he says as he hauls you against his chest and half carries half drags you through the crowd.
“You’re strong,” you giggle. You can feel the muscles in his arms and chest tighten as he moves you around, his fingertips digging deliciously in your hips. 
It’s by sheer force of Rhys’s will that you end up in a chair with a glass of water, that you take a single sip of and make a face. “Gross. Want more wine.”
A servant automatically appears with a glass beside you, but before you can grab it, or spill it given the way your limbs flop around, he snatches it off the tray. “Water first.”
You stick out your lower lip. “Why are you being so mean to me?”
He takes a drink out of the cup and suddenly the most exciting thing in the world is watching how his throat works when he swallows and the way the wine stains his lips. “‘Cause it’s fun,” he retorts.
You manage to get another sip of water down before you accidentally catch the glass on the edge of the table and spill it everywhere. “Fuck me,” you say dejectedly. In your state your first thought is to use your skirts to try and dry up the mess, but there’s not enough of them, the sheer fabric barely covering the tops of your thighs. 
“You have impeccable manners,” he says as he reaches for your hands to stop you from flashing the whole room as you try and wiggle the dress up enough to use it as a napkin. With a snap of his fingers the mess cleans itself. 
“Ooooohhh neat,” you run a finger over the dry table. “Can you teach me to do that?”
You’re too drunk to notice your mistake, but he says, “If you had any powers left, sure,” a little louder than necessary to cover you.
“Right,” you slur as you try to stand on shaky legs. “Well water was good, we dance now.”
He remains a firm wall between you and the dance floor. “Unless you can absorb water through your skin, you didn’t actually drink anything.”
“Had a sip.”
“Doesn’t count.”
“Meanie,” you hiss.
“You’re very cute when you’re drunk,” he teases and the grin he gives you makes you want to stretch up on your toes and kiss him right there. 
“You’re very kissable when you smile,” you return.
Rhys huffs a laugh and you think you might do just about anything to get him to laugh again. 
“I’m always very kissable,” he retorts. “It’s part of my charm.”
“So make part of your charm dancing with me,” you press.
He grabs your hand like he might do just that, but instead, spins around you to claim an empty couch and pulls you down to sit in his lap so fast the world flips and twirls in a blur of pulsing colors that makes you squeeze your eyes shut. The wine rises up in your throat, threatening to come back out in a rush and you curl into his chest trying to find a way to make it stop.
“I think this is better.”
You squeeze your temples with your palms. “Make my brain stop spinning,” you whine. Maybe he’s right, maybe dancing is a bad idea. 
Besides, he’s still touching you like this. More than touching actually. You’re situated in his lap, knees bracketing his hips, chest to chest, no collar around his throat to stop you if you wanted to put your lips to his neck. There’s not even a scar or bruise to indicate that it had been there, nothing but smooth, bronze skin and the teasing peak of his tattoos beneath his collar.
You brace yourself against his shoulders as the world stops spinning, suddenly very aware of how high your skirt is riding up and how strong the muscles in his thighs are between your legs.
He brings his hands to hold your hips again and you thank the Mother that you’re not so drunk that you’ve lost your inhibitions completely because the only thought in your head right now is how it would feel to grind yourself down on him.
“You’re very drunk,” he says lowly, his own gaze locked on the space between your bodies like he’s drinking in the way your thighs look around him.
“So?”
“So it would be wrong,” he retorts.
“What?” You move your hands to the back of the couch behind him, chest brushing his. There’s barely any straps to your top, the neckline a deep v that leaves your cleavage on display and you don’t miss the way his gaze tracks it as you lean in. “What would be wrong?”
He runs his tongue over his lower lip, staring and something stirs deep inside you. Claim. Claim. Claim. He is your mate and you want him to touch you, kiss you, claim you. 
It’s the thought that makes you pause for a brief moment. Does he know your mates? Does he feel this growing need? This incessant longing beating from your rib cage that needs to be touched and held and claimed so deeply you forget what it felt like to be anything else? Is that the bond? Or the wine? 
“Doing all the things I’ve been thinking about since the moment I had my lips on yours,” he says, voice barely a whisper, gaze still transfixed on your body.
You preen under the heat in his gaze, press your chest a little more firmly into his so that you can be nose to nose with him. The wine has certainly made you more brazen. “What kinds of things, Rhys?”
The hands holding your hips tighten, fingertips kneading the soft flesh hard enough to bruise and yet your whole body turns molten at that touch. It’s the delicious line between pain and pleasure, and after days and days of cold emptiness, the heat it sparks through your body is more addictive than any wine or drug you can consume here.
“Want this dress off you for starters,” he murmurs, full lips drifting down to dust over the straps clinging to your shoulders. 
His words conjure an image in your mind of him leaning forward, pulling the straps down with his teeth, baring the full expanse of your body to him. You shiver under the mental image, hips rocking down against him.
“Want to mark every bit of you I can reach, so that no one dares touch you,” he continues, teeth scraping over your shoulder. “So that everyone knows your mine.”
His.  The possession in his tone really does you in, heat building in your lower belly as you grind yourself down against the growing bulge in his pants. The scrape against your core makes your mouth drop open, groan falling from your parted lips. It would be so easy to come undone from this alone.
“Only mine,” he emphasizes, sucking a mark where your neck meets your shoulder, visible beneath that damned collar you can’t take off.
“Rhys,” you whimper, releasing your grip on the back of the couch to drag your hands through his dark hair. “Please.”
His lips move along your throat, teeth scraping your skin before sucking another mark into your sensitive flesh. He’s taking his time, just as he promised all those weeks ago on Calanmai. “Want to know what little noises you’d make for me, how you’d fall apart in my hands…”
You drag your hand from his hair, reaching for the straps of your dress to pull them down for him, hoping to spur him further into action, but he finally releases his grip on your hips to stop you. 
“None of that, Darling,” he tuts. “It comes off when I say it does.”
To that point, when you try to rock your hips against him again, it's his glittering, obsidian power that pins you in place, a slither of darkness twining around your hips to hold you there, utterly at his mercy.
He chuckles when you whimper and pout, lower lip sticking out, tears welling up in your eyes, because it’s not fair that he’s this close, that he’s just a hair breadth away from where you need him most and he knows it. He can smell it on you, see it on every line in your face, and yet he won’t move to help you.
“Please, Rhys, please,” you beg. The need for him is unbearable, your whole body burning like it’s on fire, the only relief is the contact with his body. Your mate so close to where you need him most.
“Hogging the woman of the hour, are we?” 
You hadn’t heard any approaching footsteps over the pounding of the base against the rock, the sudden appearance making you flinch as Rhys throws a warning snarl over your shoulder. It only makes the red headed male approaching chuckle as he comes to stand directly behind you. The cedar and cinnamon smell of him reminds you of curling up under a warm wool blanket next to a fireplace with your favorite book about vampires, something you like to do in nice Autumn weather.
Slender fingers drag up your spine, and in your delirious state, it makes you arch your back as you shiver under it.
“Eris,” Rhys purrs, but there’s an edge in his tone as he watches you move under another male’s ministrations. The sliver of his power around your waist tightens, the shadows slipping under your skirts to writhe against your flushed skin. He allows you to jerk forward, hips rocking right into the obvious sign of his own arousal, and your eyes roll back into your head at the contact.
“I can name a dozen males who would kill for a chance to be where you are right now, Rhysand,” Eris returns.
“I don’t share,” Rhys says and cauldron that’s all it takes for you to place your lips against his throat. He hums his approval as you scrape your teeth against his skin, hands threading into your hair as you nip and bite and use your tongue to cool any pain you cause him. 
Eris plops himself down in the seat next to Rhys, long arms thrown over the back of the couch as he makes himself comfortable. 
You can’t bring yourself to care about the audience as you nip at the underside of his jaw. He tilts his head back for you so you can reach more of him unhindered and you sink a little lower down on his lap chasing any friction you can find before the shadows tighten and still your movements again.
“Bastard,” you growl into his throat, but he merely turns his attention to the male next to him. 
“You didn’t respond to my message,” Eris hisses. A glass of wine appears in his hand and he takes a slow drink. To any onlookers he’s merely enjoying the party with the High Lord and his nightly entertainment. 
“What message?” 
“Shit.” This conversation is becoming sobering, despite your best efforts to tune out the other male and focus solely on the pleasure just out of reach. All night long you’d been able to forget.
Eris gives you a sidelong glance that might have made you squirm under the intensity if Rhys hadn’t shifted beneath you to get a better look at the other male, hips brushing up against your center in a move that is definitely intentional. 
“The one I gave her,” Eris snarls.
“This is the first I’ve seen her in days,” Rhys retorts, a hand stroking through your hair. “You know how to get in contact with me.”
Eris glances around at the dancers that move past for refreshments as he takes another drink. Only when they’re gone does he say, “So you didn’t tell her to kill the twins?”
You stop moving; stop thinking about Rhys’s body as the image of Dagdan and Brannagh’s mangled bodies flash across your mind. You’re suddenly a lot more sober than you had been moment ago.
Rhys brushes a mental hand against your mind and you flinch, head still tender from the beating it had taken trying to keep your cousins out. “Darling?”
The concern in his tone makes shame burn its way through your lungs. At the littlest thing he’s dropping everything to make sure you’re ok, and yet here you are, with no idea where he’s been or what he’s been through and you’re grinding in his lap like a horny teenager. What kind of mate are you?
“No I didn’t,” Rhys says to Eris, even as he makes another tender stroke against your mind, asking to be let in. “But I’m sure she had her reasons.”
“Do you think we can use it to our advantage?” Eris asks.
You don’t deserve how gentle he is with you, but you can’t stop yourself from lowering your shields just enough to let him in. He should know just how much of a monster you’re capable of being before he gets too close. 
“Will you show me?” He asks and you open the doorway into the memory, keeping the conversation you’d had with Tamlin about him, the realization of what he is to you, out of reach. He deserves better than that.
Rhys strokes his hands in your hair as he watches the memory unfold, your body shaking in his grip as all that blood and gore comes into view. When it’s over, he closes the door in your mind and clicks the lock into place for you. “It’s over. You’re safe. You did what you had to do to survive, there is no shame in that.”
You press your face into his shoulder to hide the tears brimming in your eyes. You’re an ugly crier when you’re tipsy and you know if you start, you won’t stop.
“I think it’ll bring Hybern here quicker,” Rhys says to Eris, as he drags the fingers in your hair down to trace your spine. To an onlooker, he’s still playing with you, only the two of you know how often he’s traced these shapes into your skin when you wake up screaming in the dungeons. “Which can be played to our advantage if we’re careful.”
Eris takes another sip of wine, mulling it over.
“If Hybern can be convinced that our queen is acting out of her own agenda instead of his, he may just do our work for us.”
“A dangerous game,” Eris frowns.
“It always is,” Rhys returns.
It’s astounding how calm and level headed he can remain, always centered, even while everyone else rages and panics around him. How are you supposed to be his equal? To his calm there is only your spinning thoughts and unchecked temper. Everything makes you want to claw and rage and smash things; aren’t mates supposed to balance each other out? What do you bring him other than another mess to sort through?
“Well if you’re not going to share her, I’ll leave you to it,” Eris says as he downs his cup and stands, making a show of stretching, tight shirt rising up to expose the toned line of his abs to a passing cluster of male and female dancers.
Rhys chuckles at that, sliding a little lower into the couch, as he says, “She’s all mine.”
Is this all the conversation they can have? A few passing whispers? A few half-veiled hopes at a plan? Fifty years of juggling court masks and gathering allies and pushing pieces into place in the shadows while everyone else parties around them? It’s such a contrast to the world you’re used to that you can’t help but feel small inside it. 
It’s only when he’s gone that Rhys asks, “Are you ok?”
“I thought being drunk was supposed to make me feel less depressed,” you grumble into his shirt because he’s pleasantly warm and you can’t bring your body to move from where you’re pressed into his chest.
“I think you passed over the threshold for that a couple drinks ago,” he replies.
“Take me back to the blissful void,” you whine.
“Well enough people have seen you here with me, I think we can slip away and get you into bed without causing a scene now.”
He’d pulled you over here on purpose, removing the shield of the crowd so people would see you with him, see you cutting loose, and when you disappeared they’d think he’d taken you to bed and not wonder if there was anything more to it, because his reputation was enough. That mask was so encompassing it could shield you too.
Rhys winnows you away and you can’t tell what end is up anymore, not until he sets you square in the center of a bed with black silk sheets. His room, as dust covered and bare as it had been the last time.
You groan as you fall back into the pillows, all the wine threatening to come up again as you try to keep yourself upright. This position allows you to feel just how wet you are between your legs, making you stop squeezing your eyes shut to look at the damp spot you’d left on Rhys’s pants. Not that he seems to notice as he peels off his jacket and starts unbuttoning his shirt, getting comfortable for the night, even as shame makes your cheeks turn bright red. What is wrong with you?
“You need a bucket over there?” He asks.
You need to drink until you can forget what you’ve been doing all night. How are you supposed to look at him now?
You hear the clink of his belt coming off before he climbs into the bed next to you and you force yourself not to open your eyes and look at what he’s wearing to bed, because you’ve made a fool of yourself enough for one night.
“That last drink was a mistake,” you lie, because what else are you supposed to say?
His body is warm as he lays down beside you. “You played your part well,” Rhys encourages. “No one will think twice about where you’ve gone.”
You’re an idiot, but you’re not quite sober enough to think better of it as you ask, “Is that all this is? A game?”
Rhys uses a bit of his power to snuff the candles out, bathing the room in utter darkness. “It’s necessary-”
You roll onto your side, finally daring to look at him, as best you can in the dark anyway. “But is that all you want it to be?” You press. 
He’d been laying with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, but at your words he rolls over too, so you’re once again nose to nose, practically sharing a breath.
“Wanting anything is dangerous, Y/N.”
“So all that you said earlier, about wanting me, that was just for show? This is just a mask?”
“It keeps you safe,” he says so low it's almost a growl.
“But it’s not what you want?”
“I can’t…” he shakes his head. “I can’t. The things I love have a tendency to be taken from me, I cannot want anything other than to get out of here.”
Your eyes sting and you’re glad for the dark, glad that it hides the tears welling up in your eyes. “I can play this part, if that’s what we need to fulfill this bargain,” it’s a concentrated effort to keep your voice steady, but you mean it. If this is all it will be, then you will have to find a way to live with it, because at least your mate will be alive. And maybe, if Amarantha sees anything like what you two had been doing tonight, then maybe she’d direct that anger at you instead of him. You could find a way to use it to protect him, the same way he’d used it for you.
He’s your mate, whatever you have to do to make sure he survives, you’ll do it. Even if it tears you apart inside.
“But please, just tell me that it’s not real, that you don’t really want me, so that I can prepare, so that I don’t overstep. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”
His pause feels like it spans an hour, the silence ticking away like a clock in the darkness. “I…”
You stamp down the hope flaring in your chest, it’ll be easier to deal with if he is up front that he doesn’t see you as anything but a means to an end. “What do you want, Rhys?”
He growls, the sound skittering across your bones as he throws an arm around your waist and crashes his lips against yours. “You,” he says into your mind. “I want you in any way you’ll have me.”
The ink on your chest warms, feels strangely like it’s glowing beneath your skin as the solid weight of him settles on top of you, pushing you into the mattress. You're a tangle of limbs and teeth, as he kisses you like it might be his only chance to.
You drag your hands down the sharp contours of his spine, memorizing the feel of him beneath your fingertips as his tongue slides behind your teeth to taste you. This is far better than any drug, no amount of mirthroot could ever make you feel this high.
“You’re ok with this?” He pants into your lips, finally coming up for air.
“More than ok,” you confirm and that’s all it takes for him to start sliding the straps off your dress, pulling the tight fitting bodice slowly from your body. The chill in the air is only a momentary discomfort before his hands and lips chase it away as he follows the fabric down your body.
Thank the Mother for the privacy of the room, that you hadn’t managed to get your top off like you’d tried to do in the throne room, because the noise you let out when he gets his mouth around your nipple is embarrassingly loud, whole body flushed crimson. You clamp your hand over your mouth when he does the same move on your other breast, or at least you try to, that slithering ether of power snags your wrist and pins it above your head before you can cut off the noise.
“None of that,” he hums into your skin, teeth scraping your skin. “Want to hear you.”
Cauldron he’ll be the death of you! 
It’s his power that whisks the glamor away from the bargain mark so he can run his lips over the ink, tracing the flower petals and vines. “We should make more bargains, you look so pretty with all this ink.”
You huff a laugh as you scrape your nails through his hair, making a mess of it. “What kinds of bargains?”
He kisses lower, pulling the dress down towards your hips, following it again. “That you’ll let me taste you like this once a day for the rest of eternity,” he suggests as he lifts your hips to get the dress lower.
“I’m not wasting a bargain on that,” you huff, though you’re embarrassed to admit the way the suggestion makes heat pool in your core.
“You’re right, twice a day is more practical,” he says as he slips both the dress and your underthings off in one fell swoop. Strong arms wrap around your hips as he settles himself between your legs and you barely have time to draw a shaky breath before he’s running his tongue up your center.
“I-” all thought and argument eddies from your mind as your body arches under his ministrations. 
“More than that, perhaps?” He teases, adding a finger to the mix, even as his tongue swirls through your quickly budding arousal.
Your hand in his hair tightens, pulling his hair as you try and guide him deeper. “Rhys,” you whimper. He feels so good; so perfect. Nothing else would ever compare; he’s barely touched you and you’re fully ready to come apart already.
He adds a second finger, stretching you out as his tongue flicks over your clit, the combination making your head spin. You screw your eyes shut as your body tightens, muscles taut as a bow string as your pleasure builds too fast to prepare for. He might still be talking nonsense about bargains but you genuinely can’t hear a word he says against the white noise tearing through your head.
Mate. Mate. Mate. It’s right where the flower-what did he say it was called? Datura?-sits over your heart that you feel the bond between your souls, like a tether of glittering starlight. It’s been there, faint before, just enough of a tether to let you feel a bit of him at the other end, but now it thrums with his power, like it’s searching for your own. A call like the one he’d sent out on Calanmai, and you can’t tell if he’s testing to see if you know it’s there, or if it’s you pulling on it, begging to be closer to him as your high crashes over you.
Rhys kisses his way back up your body, lips damp with your arousal. “You know?” 
The disbelief in his tone brings you back to reality. Your shields had been down and you’d just…
You push yourself up on your elbows. “You knew?” You counter.
He brushes his lips over the bargain mark again, distracting himself from looking into your eyes as he says, “I suspected, before Calanmai, but afterwards, when I saw you for real, not just as a dream, it clicked.”
“You’d been dreaming about me?”
Another kiss on your heated skin, body relaxing under his touch. “For decades,” he whispers. “And I told myself that it was enough, that I’d leave it there, where you were safe and far away from all of this, but then there were whispers in the court about at a weapon Hybern was looking for. The more she had me look into it, the more my dreams started making sense, the better I could see you.”
You brush your fingers through the hair falling over his eyes, prompting him to finally look at you. “When she narrowed down that you were in Spring, she started sending me out on Calanmia to look for you, thinking it might mask all her hunters with those coming to the party. It was my only chance to reach you and I had every intention to get you to leave Spring.”
He catches your hand and presses a kiss to your fingertips. “I never meant to let you see me, but you were so scared and she decided to come out herself for the first time in years and I panicked. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if she got her hands on you first.”
Your eyes sting at the confession. Your selfless mate, who through all these years of trauma, had still been willing to let you go without ever getting to see you if it meant you didn’t end up here.
“I swore that I’d do everything in my power to get you out, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay away, no matter how much I tried to. You needed me and I… I need you.”
You’re not entirely sure how useful you’ve been to him in all of this, but you let him speak anyway. 
“Not just this,” he says, gesturing to your bodies. “But for all of it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“I don’t want you to think you’re stuck with me,” he says. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”
You sit up as best you can around the weight of him over you so you can grip his face. “I’m not stuck with you. I’m choosing you. I want you, Rhys.”
The disbelief in his eyes makes your heart ache and you lean forward to gently kiss the tip of his nose. “Not just for this,” you repeat, gesturing to your bodies as he had done. “Though it is amazing.”
He grins at that.
“And not just this,” you drag his hand over the ink on your chest. “But for whatever is beyond this. When it’s all over, when we’ve won and we’ve got her stupid head on a pike, I want to explore whatever comes next with you.”
He kisses you then, eagerly, a little less frantic than before, but with no less desire, the taste of your arousal still faint on his swollen lips. You lean back into the mattress, pulling him down with you. 
“I know this whole thing is twisted and terrifying, but I want to walk with you through it. Together.”
“Together,” he confirms as you wrap your legs around his waist.
A new bargain mark zaps across your skin, over your palm, where your hands are intertwined, a twin to the one on his own hand. 
“I still think I made an excellent bargain offer,” he says as you tug at the waistband of his boxers.
“You’re insufferable, Rhysand,” you laugh.
“I think the word you’re thinking of is insatiable,” he counters as he lines himself up with your entrance.
“That too,” you reply as you arch your back, the tip of his cock gliding through your arousal. It’s a little more of stretch than you're used to, but the line between pain and pleasure blurs as he slowly rocks his hips into yours, taking his time to let you adjust. He really will ruin anyone else for you, not that you’ll ever want anything other than this from here on out.
“Darling,” he purrs, or tries to, the groan he lets out as he fully seats himself inside you makes shivers run up your spine. “You have no idea how insatiable I can be.”
You rock your hips, prompting him to move, to match your rhythm, to fill and take and claim you as your body has been begging him to all night long. “I think you should show me.”
The laugh he lets out sounds more like a growl as he picks up his pace, one hand braced against the headboard to give him more leverage as he slides nearly out of you and slams back in. You cling to his shoulders, nails gliding over his sweat-dampened skin for leverage, his name a whimper on your lips.
The bond between you glitters, swells with all the affection and desire he feels for you as he shoots in down to you. For all the pain and trouble it had caused, you think you still you might have come out earlier on Calanmai, just to feel this sooner. 
You whimper his name again and again as your high once again draws closer, your body white hot. 
“I’ve got you,” he says in your ear and judging by the frantic rutting of his hips you know he’ll be right there with you. Together in this, as you will be in the rest of it. You let yourself fall, unrestrained, as pleasure washes over you, your mate giving a shout as he follows close behind. The two of you topple into the sheets, clinging to each other as you catch your breath.
“You ok?” He asks as you cling tightly to him, even as your body relaxes.
You nuzzle your face into his chest. “I’m with my mate, how could I not be?” Whatever tomorrow holds, whatever dangers lie ahead, you can rest knowing that you’ll be together for it.
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Tag List: @mariahoedt, @lovelydove, @twsssmlmaa, @sleepylunarwolf, @judig92, @willowpains, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @annnaaaaaa88, @myheartfollower, @uniquecolorwizard, @eternallyelvish, @waytoomanyteenagefeels, @lovemesomevesey, @localfangirl09, @isa1b2h3, @starswholistenanddreamsanswered, @slytherintaco, @iluvewman-blog, @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife, @kitsunetori, @lilah-asteria, @dianxiaxie, @msoldier
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jellyluvr · 11 months
Text
Behind you
- Tate langdon x fem!reader ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Thinking about writing some sad stuff. I love vagina commercials. Anyway this is just gonna be tate bein gross. (Kinda like divinelyruled's 'tate bein horny n gross' but there's no lube and he's watching you 😉😉
Tw: masturbation obvi, stalker type shit, some blood. Just a lil bit tho. And suggestive stuff but I mean that's not really a surprise?? 😭
S: tate likes watching u shower
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Tate stood infront of the mirror, looking at his face as he began to see visions again. His eyes tricked him into seeing blood.. seeping down from his hair, dripping all over the sink... tates breathing quickened, and he began to panic. He still didn't have a good way of handling himself besides jerking off.. not that it was bad. He liked the euphoria.. the pleasure. Made 'm feel good.
- back to you -
You were on your bed, the velvet pillow propped under you as you began to kick your feet listening to the song. Coward - warthog. You liked the funky beat.. the rhythm. Your head bobbed, your mouth lip singing to the lyrics. You turned up your iPod, sighing with the freedom you now had. With your parents just moving it put you in a wonderful place. A place for opportunity. That's what your mom would say at least.
Not that you cared. You liked the 'murder house'. It was nice.. comfy. Your style too. You were always called emo, grunge, freakish.. and it was all because you had style? How disappointing. It made you wince. You hated thinking about how people hated you. You didn't even understand why either.. but, whatever. You were cool? What was stopping you from being the best version of yourself?
So, to keep yourself from rotting in boredom, you thought about taking a shower. Maybe even a bubble bath... that'd be too annoying to clean up though. So, shower. You turned off your iPod, getting out of bed as you adjusted your camisole. You began to walk, the creak of the floorboards giving you some accompaniment.
Tate was still having his minor breakdown in the mirror, but once he heard you approaching he held himself together. He was invisible to you. He never showed himself, but he of course knew who you were. He had his fair share of watching you sleep.. he may or may not have had a chunk of your hair, but that was besides the point. Tate backed up to the wall, giving you space to walk in.
Your feet hit the cold tile, and you face the mirror, looking at yourself, catching a glimpse of something behind you. Naturally, you looked, but there was nothing. You turned back, telling yourself it was just paranoia. The blinds were closed... it was pretty late but no one could see in. That's what you thought at least.
With that, you closed the bathroom door, making it the seal to tates accompaniment with you in the bathroom. Not that he didn't like it.. he loved it actually. He liked watching you study your facial features. Humming stupid lyrics.. he used to do that too. Before he died.
He sighed, watching you. He admired your every move. He loved you. It was true love. You'd like him. He knew it. He just needed time to.. prepare himself. Everyone always had a different reaction to him. But.. it never seemed to be happy. That was his goal with you. You were his little test subject. Not a puppet.. he couldn't control you. But he would.
His eyes watched your finger tips go to the hem of your camisole, it hugging your body tight as you pulled it up, showing your back in all glory. He looked in the mirror, admiring your chest. Once it was pulled of your head, his eyes were practically glued to your tits. He licked his lips involuntarily, feeling one of many sparks of arousal from you.
You began to pull your shorts down, not thinking anything of it. It was practically anything. Your mind was just stuck on what body wash you'd use. Marshmallow? Rosey..? Coconut? Pineapple would've been nice. You still didn't understand why that hadn't been made yet. But, either way, your mind traveled relevant things while you pulled your panties down, placing your clothes on the counter. You placed them away from the sink, avoiding any accidents.
Tate watched you walk over to the bathtub, watching your hips move perfectly. God... you made him almost twitch. His hand went to clutch his bulge, and he watched as you bent over slightly to turn the shower on, sticking your hand in to make sure it's warm. Even the slightest movements made him melt. He was so obsessed with you..
Your hand stuck in the water, goosebumps appearing on your skin from the coldness. You moved on your heel, waiting for the water to heat up. This old shower was horrible. Outrageous even. You hated having to wait so long for it, but thankfully the water heated up faster.
You stepped in, pulling the curtain forward as you looked down at your feet, your hair dampening. Soon, it got wet, and it almost looked like silk. You played with it for a moment, but you then turned to the options of body wash and just chose coconut. It was simple enough, plus it was summer. It was a summer scent, and quite relevant.
Tate had eventually moved his hands in his pants, his rough calloused palms moving up and down his shaft. Tate had moved to the side of the tub, just to get a good view. He watched you wash your body.. nice and slow in the right areas. His heart almost burst seeing your soapy body.. he wanted to fuck you so hard.. till you couldn't think. Till the only thing you cared about was his dick.
It was a shame you didn't even know who he was. But even not knowing, you sensed something behind you and where it could've just been chills you turned around quickly. But, of course, nothing. You decided to be a bit more quicker, avoiding closing your eyes from childhood fears. It could've been anything. Monsters were real. Just, they were human monsters. Like tate.
But, tate was a little disappointed. He wanted to scare you. To scar you for life. It wasn't like you had much time anyway. It was all he thought about. Blood.. carnage.. sex. Just the slightest thought of blood was a major turn on for tate. Imagining you covered in it made his cock almost feel too hot. Regardless, he continued stroking his shaft, stopping when there was too much stimulation.
While you had the idea of a short shower it wouldn't hurt to just touch yourself a little.. so when your hand slipped down to wash your thighs, you rubbed your clit with the soapy bubbles, gasping almost in the feel. It had been awhile since you touched yourself, but you sure did miss it. You bit down on your lip, your finger tip moving fast against your sensitive bud.
Tate soon realized what you were doing and his pace grew as his head threw back in pleasure. Even with the harshness of his speed he loved it. Watching the water cascade down your body make his climax come ever so slightly closer.
Your hand rubbed in between your thighs, but you eventually took it out sighing. Your parents were home.. what if they heard you? You couldn't do that. And with the paranoia growing you moved onto washing your hair. You lathered it, taking the time to brush it when there was a tangle. Once your hair was silky again, you turned off the water, immediately alarming tate. He had been so close he had closed his eyes, but now they were open, and he continued to touch himself.
He moved a little so he could see you better and his eyes watched as you stepped out of the tub. You had to have been some sort of godess.. so beautiful. He'd do anything to bury his face in your chest. He just wanted to make you feel good... that was all.
Tate thought of the most unholy things as you walked back to the mirror, being careful to not slip. You got a towel out and rubbed the steam off the mirror and began to dry off. You just stared at yourself. Your head turned every so often, but it was just because you felt off. So off..
And that was when tate finally finished. It wasn't much, he jerked off a lot so there wasn't much to dispose. But, his thoughts about blood and gore all washed away. His head went back as he panted, finally feeling the humidity to the room getting to him. He sighed watching you get dressed once more.
He really wanted to rip that off of you..
And while he watched, he pulled his hands out of his pants and walked over to you, standing right behind you.
♫⋆。♪ ˚♬ ゚.
Kay that's all
Taglist: @tatelangdonsgirll @kaismanwich
Just comment or reply if you want to be added!
Not proofread either none of my fics are lol
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bradshawsbaby · 1 year
Text
No Words
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Pairing: Bob Floyd x Wife!Reader
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST. Miscarriage in the second trimester, intense grief, marital struggles, brief reference to a D&E procedure, mentions of blood, a hopeful ending.
Author’s Note: This was not an easy story for me to write, but it was one I really wanted to tell. Though I have not personally experienced a miscarriage, it’s something that has deeply affected my family, and an experience that many women I know, love, and care about have been impacted by. I don’t think it’s talked about nearly as much as it should be, which is what leads so many people to grieve and suffer in silence. This story is a tribute to the experiences that many people I know have gone through. Please know that if you or someone you know has experienced a miscarriage, you are allowed to grieve and mourn in the ways that you need to. My heart is truly with you.
This story was written for @cherrycola27​’s #top gun taylors version challenge. It was inspired by the song Bigger Than the Whole Sky, particularly these lyrics:
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye You were bigger than the whole sky You were more than just a short time And I've got a lot to pine about I've got a lot to live without I'm never gonna meet What could've been, would've been What should've been you
There were no words.
As the days faded into weeks, and the weeks melted into months, you tried and failed more times than you could count to find the words to make those around you understand the devastation and grief that you were grappling with.
But there were no words.
How could there be?
How could there be words sufficient enough to explain the way you cried yourself to sleep every night, salty tears soaking your pillow until your body finally took pity on you and allowed you to fall into a restless, miserable slumber? 
What could you say to make people understand that the throbbing ache in your body, the pain that still robbed you of breath when you were least expecting it, was surpassed only by the unbearable agony in your heart? 
How could mere words convey the thousands of ways your world had fallen apart, the way your dreams had shattered, the way your soul would never be whole again?
They couldn’t. They wouldn’t.
And so you had stopped trying.
You had stopped responding to texts from friends. You no longer picked up the phone when your family called. You had groceries delivered to the house.
The kitchen counters, which had once been covered with home-cooked meals and baking supplies, were now littered with restaurant menus and take-out containers.
On the days when you did manage to drag yourself out of bed, you usually made it only as far as the couch, where you’d curl up under your favorite blanket and stare blankly at the walls surrounding you, walls that had been home for well over a year, but which now felt as foreign as the mysterious, far-flung kingdoms you’d read about in the fairytales you’d loved so much when you were a little girl.
But you were no longer a little girl. And this wasn’t a fairytale.
He was worried about you. You knew he was.
You could see it in his blue eyes every time he looked at you, his gaze brimming with the tenderness and deep love that had always made you confident he was going to be yours forever.
“Sweetheart,” he would whisper every night when he came home from work, kneeling beside you where you lay on the couch and gently stroking your cheek with his calloused fingertips.
His name, so precious and beloved to you, always sat right on the edge of your tongue, but you weren’t able to get it out past the lump that seemed determined to remain permanently embedded in your throat. So you’d just look up at him, the sadness in your eyes mirrored in his as he brushed your hot tears away.
And every night, he’d carry you to the bath where he would wash your body clean with gentle hands. If only he could do the same for your heart.
Tucking you into bed, he’d lay beside you and hold you close as you sobbed, “Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.” Over and over and over again, his name falling from your lips like a litany, your voice raw with desperation.
“I know,” he whispered, rubbing your back with his strong, sure hands and pressing soft kisses to the top of your head. “I know, sweetheart.”
But did he know? He was the only one who could understand what you were going through, but did he really know?
You weren’t sure that he did, and that knowledge cut you deeper than words could express.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
You and Bob were supposed to be happy. You were supposed to be glowing and bursting with anticipation, waiting any day now for the newest member of your family, your sweet little bundle of joy, to arrive.
But instead, your womb and your arms were empty, and your husband came home every night to a wife who could barely make it through the day without falling apart, a wife who turned away from him when he reached for you, determined to hide from him the tears that still choked you every night, even four months later.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
Everything had been going so well. The joy you’d felt when you first saw that little positive sign on your pregnancy test had been exceeded only by the look of pure awe on Bob’s face when you told him the news that he was going to be a father.
You’d had so many grand plans for how you were going to tell him, so many sweet ideas swirling in your brain for how you were going to make this life-changing announcement. But in the end, your excitement had gotten the better of you and you’d found yourself flinging your arms around your husband as soon as he walked through the door, sobbing and laughing in tandem as you shouted, “We’re having a baby!”
You’d done everything right. You took all your prenatal vitamins, went to all your appointments, took care not to put too much strain on your body. Every time you and Bob walked out of your doctor’s office, hand in hand with a new ultrasound picture of your growing babe, you felt like you were floating on air. Was it possible to be so happy?
Turns out, it wasn’t.
Because despite doing everything right, despite taking all your vitamins and eating all the right foods and following all the prenatal exercise plans, despite every appointment going perfectly, despite making it to your second trimester and telling all your family and friends, you were still met with the most devastating words you’d ever been on the receiving end of:
Your baby no longer has a heartbeat.
You had known something was wrong the second you saw the ultrasound technician’s smile falter, her brow furrowing as she gazed intensely at the black screen. The smile she quickly pasted on as she turned to you was tight, though not nearly as tight as Bobby’s grip on your hand as she rose from her stool with a murmured “Please excuse me for a moment” and hurried out of the examination room without a backwards glance.
Your mind knew what your heart refused to accept as the technician returned several painfully long minutes later with your doctor, who took the stool she’d vacated and lifted the ultrasound wand once more, pressing it firmly to your rounded belly. You felt the sob catch in your throat, saw Bobby lower his head as your doctor turned to face you with a sorrowful look in his kind eyes.
“Mr. and Mrs. Floyd, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I’m afraid your baby no longer has a heartbeat.”
It was all a blur after that. You were aware that your doctor was talking, but he suddenly sounded so far away. You could feel your husband’s eyes on you, his large hands gently squeezing and caressing, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the ceiling of the examination room. Had you ever noticed that it was painted light blue before?
The words came to you in fragmented pieces, none of them seeming to make sense.
Late miscarriage.
Often caused by chromosomal abnormalities or congenital defects.
Never detected in any of your scans.
Sometimes these things just happened, and no one could explain why.
Sometimes these things just happened.
Being so far along…it would have to be a D&E…could be performed right here in the office…recovery could take up to a couple weeks…
Sometimes these things just happened.
No one could explain why.
Sometimes these things just happened.
Why?
That was the only question, the only thought at all, that kept echoing in your mind after it was all said and done and Bobby finally brought you home, your body feeling battered beyond repair.
You didn’t cry at all those first couple days, when the anesthesia and the grogginess were still working their way out of your system. You saw the silent tears that streamed down Bob’s face as he held you—he’d taken off two weeks from work to take care of you in the aftermath of the procedure—but you just couldn’t understand. It was like your mind was trying to shield you from the awful reality, from the truth that your baby was gone, by blocking out any consciousness of it.
But that fragile illusion could only last so long.
When you woke one morning to painful cramps, tears glistening on your lashes before you had even opened your eyes, you sat up with a gasp and pushed the covers back, only to find your inner thighs and sheets soaked with blood.
You didn’t even realize you were screaming until Bob came frantically running into the room, his eyes quickly taking in the sight before him as he rushed to your side, cradling your face in his hands until you met his gaze.
“I’m here, sweetheart,” he assured you, keeping his eyes locked with yours. “I’m here.”
“The blood, Bobby, the bl—”
“The doctor said it was normal. That it might happen for a couple weeks after the—after the—”
He couldn’t say it, but you knew. With sudden, sickening clarity, the pieces fell into place inside your brain and you could no longer hide from the truth of it.
Your baby was gone.
Once the tears came, they couldn’t stop.
Bob tried everything in his power to give you the comfort that you needed. He held you tightly as you sobbed for hours on end. He patiently accepted how you pushed him away whenever your paralyzing grief turned to raging anger, and he was quick to offer words of forgiveness when you tearfully apologized afterwards. He made sure you ate, made sure you took your medication, made sure you bathed each day, even when the thought of getting out of bed seemed an insurmountable task.
He was so good to you. He loved you so much. Through the haze of your own grief, you knew he was grieving, too. And yet, as the weeks passed into months, you found it harder and harder to talk to him.
There were just no words. Not even for the man who shared the burden of a grief as heavy and desperate as your own.
You had tried so hard in the beginning to make everyone see. To help them understand how you felt. But how could they? Your friends and family were so supportive, constantly checking in and asking what they could do to help, but the answer was nothing. They could do nothing to help. They couldn’t bring your baby back, and that was all you wanted.
Your grief was all-encompassing. You felt like you were drowning in it, and you couldn’t figure out how to make them understand that. You couldn’t make them see that you didn’t know how you were supposed to go on, living with this giant hole in your heart. It felt impossible that someone could still be able to breathe and walk and talk and go through life when their heart had been destroyed so completely.
But still, you tried. For weeks, you tried. You saw the sympathy, the sadness, the desire to help in your loved ones’ eyes. But you never saw that flicker of understanding.
No one understood.
A month after your miscarriage, you decided to try going back to work.
“Are you sure?” Bob asked, worry furrowing his brow after you told him of your intentions. “Mr. Buchanan said you could take as much time as you needed,” he reminded you. Your boss had always been a kind man, and that had proven to be even more the case in the wake of your unimaginable loss.
“I know, but I think it might be good to try getting out of the house. Maybe it will help start to take my mind off things,” you told him, trying to offer him a smile, though you had a feeling it came out more like a grimace.
“Okay, sweetheart. But only if you’re sure,” Bob nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
He drove you to work the next day, squeezing your hand encouragingly before you could climb out of the car. “I’m going to keep my phone on me at work today. Call me if you need anything, okay?”
As it turned out, you needed him much more quickly than you could have anticipated.
After only being back in the office for a few hours, you locked yourself in the bathroom, the tears streaming down your face as you pulled out your cell phone with trembling hands and called your husband.
“Sweetheart?” Bob’s voice sounded anxious over the line as he picked up after only one ring. “What’s wrong?”
“Bobby, please,” you sniffled, wiping at your nose with the back of your hand. “I need you to come get me.”
Your husband didn’t hesitate. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Bob was the one who spoke to Mr. Buchanan, wrapping his arm around you and shielding you from the curious glances of co-workers as he led you out of the office building where you’d been working for the past few years.
Neither of you spoke on the drive home. Bob kept his gaze firmly on the road ahead, and you stared out the window, tears streaming down your cheeks.
It wasn’t until the two of you were finally back inside your house and seated on the couch in the living room that Bob slowly asked, “Sweetie, what happened?”
That was when you broke down completely.
“They didn’t even care!” you sobbed, your voice breaking as your shoulders slumped forward and you buried your face in your hands. “They didn’t even—they didn’t—” You could barely catch your breath, you were crying so hard.
“Hey, hey,” Bob murmured soothingly, moving closer to you and wrapping one strong arm around your shoulders, tucking you against his chest and resting his chin atop your head. “Slow down, sweetheart. You’re going to make yourself sick,” he told you in a gentle voice, rubbing slow circles on your back until you calmed down somewhat, small hiccups escaping your lips. “They didn’t what?” he prompted carefully, once he thought you had regained some of your composure.
You looked up at him then, your face streaked with tears and your eyes brimming with a pain he would have given anything in the world to take away from you.
“I—I wanted to t-talk about the—the baby,” you explained in a shaky voice, laying your head on his shoulder as he continued to rub your back. “I just—I wanted to talk. But—but no one would let me. Every time I tried, they just told me how sorry they were and then changed the subject. One w-woman even told me that it would be okay because soon I’d have another b-baby and then I’d forget all about this.” When you looked up at your husband, you saw the pained expression on his face at your words. “Forget about it? How could I ever forget about it? How?” you wailed.
Bob’s jaw clenched as he held you closer, brushing your hair away from your face and pressing kisses to your temple and the top of your head. “People try to be nice, but sometimes they don’t understand how ignorant their words are—how hurtful they can be, whether they mean them to be or not,” he said, his voice pinched as he tried to remain calm and steady for you.
“No one cared, Bobby! They didn’t even want to know his name! It’s like he didn’t matter, like he didn’t even exist. But he did!” you cried, wrapping your arms around your husband’s neck and clinging to him as you fell apart.
“Yes, he did, sweetheart. He did. He was our son,” Bob whispered, leaning back on the couch and pulling you onto his chest as you continued to weep.
You and Bob had known you were having a baby boy. You’d found out just a few weeks before you’d lost him.
“A boy! Oh my goodness, Bobby, a boy!” you’d exclaimed happily when you’d opened the envelope from your doctor’s office. “Are you happy, honey?” you asked, wrapping your arms around your husband and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Bob beamed proudly, turning slightly so that he could capture your lips with his own in a sweet kiss. “So happy, sweetheart. I love you so much,” he whispered, resting a hand on your small bump. “You and our little guy.”
The two of you had even picked out a name—Oliver Robert Floyd.
“We could call him Ollie,” you giggled one night as you and Bob were lying together in bed, fingers intertwined as you dreamed together of who your baby would be.
“I like that,” Bob nodded, his face splitting into a wide grin as he gazed at you. “And who knows? Maybe he’ll end up with a call sign of his own one day,” he teased.
“Oh, would you like that? To be an aviator like Daddy?” you asked, glancing down at your belly and poking gently. You felt a tiny flutter in response, which made your heart sing. “He says he’d like that,” you told Bob, laughing brightly as your husband lowered his head to kiss you.
But Ollie would never get to be an aviator like his daddy. He would never get to be a little boy with big dreams. He would never get to be a man who carried on all the things you and Bob had taught him. He would never get to be anything.
Your son was gone.
But he had been here once. He had been real. You had felt him.
You couldn’t just forget him. You would never forget him.
And yet your co-workers and colleagues didn’t even care to know that he had a name.
After that disastrous first day back to work, everything started to go downhill. Mr. Buchanan said you could take as much time off as you needed, and you did. You didn’t want to go anywhere. You didn’t want to do anything. You didn’t want to see anyone. You just wanted to be left alone.
No one understood. No one knew what it was like to have to say goodbye to the child you had never even gotten to meet, never gotten to hold in your arms or give gentle kisses to. No one knew what it was to wake up every day and wonder who your child could have been, would have been, should have been.
It was a pain, a grief, an agony that you carried alone.
As time continued to pass, and the hurt only seemed to get worse and not better, you found it too difficult even to talk to your husband about it. And that hurt, because you loved your Bobby more than anything in the world. But as the weeks continued to slip by, it felt like he was able to move forward, to continue with his life, while you were caught in this intangible place of mourning. He was moving on, and you were stuck here, unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to do much of anything.
Bob could feel the distance growing between the two of you. You knew he could. He’d reach for you, and you’d stiffen or pull away. He’d try to talk, and you’d tell him you were tired and needed to lay down.
The hurt that flashed across his face each time you pulled away was like a constant knife in your heart, but you didn’t know what to do. The chasm just kept widening every day, and you no longer knew how to cross it.
“I stopped by Dr. Morales’ office today on my lunch break and picked this up,” Bob told you one night when he returned home from work. You were sitting on the couch and just blinked at him blankly. He set the glossy pamphlet down in front of you. “It’s for a support group at the hospital. For women who have miscarried or lost their babies. Dr. Morales highly recommended it. He thinks it would be good for you.”
You just stared down at the pamphlet, but didn’t make a move to grab it. You didn’t say anything either, just continued to sit in silence.
“Sweetheart, I really think that we should—”
“I’m tired,” you said flatly, rising off the couch slowly and turning in the direction of your bedroom.
“Sweetie, please.” Bob begged, reaching for your hand, which you swiftly pulled out of his grasp.
“I just want to be alone,” you snapped, more harshly than you intended. Swallowing, you tried to look away from the pain that bloomed across your husband’s face.
“Of course, I’m sorry. I just…” Bob sighed, hanging his head. “Go get some rest.”
Turning away and fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over once more, you wrapped your arms around yourself and stumbled on unsteady feet towards your room. You resolutely refused to look at the door on your right as you passed by it, the door that had remained firmly shut since the day you had been given the news that your baby had no heartbeat.
All you wanted to do was sleep. At least when you were asleep, you could escape the pain that had been your constant companion these past four months. Not to mention, you could also escape the reality of the constant pain you’d been inflicting on your husband lately.
He was so good, so full of gentleness and love and compassion, and you just felt so broken.
Crawling under the covers, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried not to think about how perfect things had seemed just a few months ago.
When you woke with a start a few hours later, your bedroom swathed in darkness, you were startled to realize your husband wasn’t beside you. It felt as though he’d never come to bed at all. Trying to swallow back the nausea you sensed rising up your throat, you pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed slowly, padding across the room on quiet feet.
When you opened your bedroom door, you were met with darkness in the rest of the house.
Where was he?
Taking a tentative step into the hallway, you began moving slowly in the direction of the living room and that was when you saw the light up ahead. It was faint, as it was spilling from behind a door that was only partially ajar.
The door you hadn’t opened in four months.
You felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest, but you forced your feet to keep moving, one in front of the other  Your pulse quickened in your veins and your breathing grew more shallow the closer you came, until you were standing right outside the room.
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, you carefully pushed on the door to your son’s nursery, widening the opening without stepping inside.
You had thought your heart was already broken beyond repair, but what you saw in that moment proved that that must not have been true, because you surely felt your heart break all over again.
There, kneeling on the floor beside the crib that he had proudly spent hours putting together with his own two hands, was your sweet husband, cradling the little teddy bear that the two of you had bought not long after you first discovered you were pregnant. The first gift you’d purchased for your baby boy.
Bob had his face buried in the bear’s fuzzy belly, his back turned so that he didn’t see you standing in the doorway. You were fairly certain he wouldn’t have been able to see you anyway, not through the tears.
Your husband was weeping, a heart wrenching sound that immediately cut through the fog that had been blanketing your heart and mind for weeks.
Letting out a soft cry, you immediately raced into the room that you had sworn you would never look at again—the nursery that you and Bob had spent so many happy weeks designing and decorating and organizing before all your big dreams had come to a crashing halt. Collapsing on the floor beside your husband, you wrapped your arms around him and held him close as he cried.
“Why?” Bob rasped, the tears streaming down his face as he lifted his head slightly, still clutching the teddy bear tightly to his chest. “Why?”
You felt the tears running down your own face as you shook your head, cradling his head against your chest and running your fingers through his honeyed hair. “I don’t know. I keep asking myself that same thing, but I don’t know. I don’t have any answers,” you admitted, resting your cheek against his soft hair.
Bob clung to you desperately, like a drowning man would cling to a life preserver. You held him just as tightly, the two of you weeping together in the center of the nursery your son would never get to see.
“I miss him,” Bob confessed quietly, his voice laced with such agony that it pierced you straight through. “He should be here with us, and he isn’t, and it isn’t right. It isn’t right,” he sniffed, his tears soaking the front of your shirt. “I miss him so much.”
“Oh, honey, I miss him, too. More than words can describe,” you cried, stroking his hair. “Every day, I wake up and for a second I think I’m going to feel him still inside me, or hear him crying in the nursery, and then reality hits me and I—I just can’t do it. I can’t even get out of bed some days.”
“I don’t want to either most days,” Bob told you, looking up to meet your gaze with his watery blue eyes. He’d never told you that before. “I wake up in the morning and I go through the motions and I get in the car and drive to work and I cry the whole way there.”
“You do?” you asked in surprise, eyes widening slightly. “You never—you never told me that.”
“I didn’t want you to know,” Bob admitted, suddenly looking ashamed. “I wanted to be strong for you. I wanted to be your rock.”
“Oh, Bobby,” you breathed out, reaching to cup your husband’s face in your hands.
“You’ve been through so much, and you’ve been suffering, and I didn’t want to add to any of your pain or make it harder for you in any way. I wanted to take it all away. And I knew I couldn’t do that if you were worrying about me on top of everything else,” he explained, a few stray tears trickling down his cheeks, which you brushed away with your thumbs.
“We’ve both been through so much,” you insisted, caressing his cheek lightly. “And you shouldn’t have to carry your grief alone. We’re supposed to carry it together,” you told him, resting your forehead against his and closing your eyes for a moment. You took a deep breath before opening them again and continuing, “I thought—I thought maybe you were moving on.”
“What? No! Never,” Bob shook his head adamantly, cupping the back of your head and holding you close to him. “Did you think—oh, God, you didn’t think that I was just getting over it, did you?”
Your breath suddenly caught in your throat as you choked back a sob. “I didn’t know what to think. It felt like—I knew you were grieving, but our grieving looked so different and I didn’t understand yours and it felt like you were moving forward and I was just stuck here and I was going to be left behind because you were learning how to live with it and how to move on and I couldn’t and I—”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Bob gasped, the teddy bear still clutched in one of his hands as he wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his nose against yours, seeking an intimate, close contact with you. “Oh, my love. No, no, no. I would never leave you behind. Never,” he promised, his lips brushing warmly against your forehead. “I was struggling because I didn’t know how to help you. It felt like everything I said was the wrong thing and every time I tried to get closer, you kept pulling back, and I was so scared to see you withdrawing like that, and I just didn’t want to push you too far. But I should have been honest with you. I should have let you see that I’ve been struggling, too. So much.”
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m so sorry,” you apologized tearfully, burying your face in his neck. “It’s been so hard trying to make people understand how I’m feeling. But I realize now that, as much as they may love me and want to help, they’ll never really be able to understand. But you do. You lost him, the same way that I did. You’re the only person I can share this grief with. And I’m so sorry that I pushed you away instead.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Bob murmured softly, wiping your tears away with gentle fingers. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry. Grief is messy, and right now we’re in the middle of the mess. I don’t know how long we’ll be here. Maybe a part of us will be here forever. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone but you. And I want us to get through this together,” he said, taking your hand in his and squeezing it tenderly.
“I want that, too,” you whispered, your voice cracking on the last word.
Bob pulled you into his lap and the two of you sat for a while in silence, your husband rocking you slowly back and forth as you sat on the floor of the nursery. You looked around at the walls, which you and Bob had painted a light blue—“Like the sky,” Bob had smiled when you’d chosen the color.
“I thought I’d never be able to come in here again,” you confessed, biting down on your lower lip. “I thought—I thought it would hurt too much.”
“I know,” Bob nodded, kissing the tip of your nose. “I know you never wanted this door open. But tonight, I just felt like I had to come in here. And when I did—well, it felt like a moment frozen in time, y’know? I looked at the crib and the rocking chair and the toys and the clothes and I just…” He let out a heavy sigh. “I just broke down. I just kept thinking about what could have been. What should have been. And who he would have been,” he murmured, running his fingers through the ends of your hair. “Sometimes I feel so broken, and other times I feel so angry.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” you told him, curling up against his chest. “I feel the same way.” You paused for a moment, turning something over in your mind before you went on. “I think part of me is afraid to let go of all this grief and anger because—well, because it’s all I have left. And if I let it go, I feel like it means I’m letting him go,” you admitted, your voice breaking as you started to cry again. “And I don’t want to let him go. I don’t.”
“Oh, honey,” Bob whispered comfortingly, squeezing you close to his chest. “I don’t want to let him go either. But you know what?”
“What?” you sniffled, wiping at your nose and looking up at your husband.
“We don’t have to,” he told you, grasping your chin in his hand and gazing deeply into your eyes. “He will always be our son. Always. No matter what some lady at work or anybody else says. He wasn’t just some moment, here one minute and gone the next. We’ll always have him.”
You nodded at that, your tears trickling down your cheeks and soaking his hand, which was still holding onto your chin firmly.
“But I don’t think that means we have to hold onto the pain forever,” Bob continued, kissing away your tears with gentle lips. “The grief will always be with us. We’ll carry it in our hearts forever. But I do believe that we’re going to be happy again. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next week. But soon. We’re going to be okay, sweetheart. I know we are.”
And for the first time in four months, you really believed that. For the first time since your life had come to a standstill, you had hope that tomorrow would be a brighter day. Like Bob said, the grief would always be there, a pain that you would have to learn to live with over time. And you would learn to live with it, so long as you had this man by your side.
Shifting in Bob’s arms so that you were facing him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him, a bit shyly at first and then with more confidence. “I love you so much, Robert Floyd. I always will. Forever.”
Bob smiled, a genuine smile, and cupped your cheek in his hand as he pressed another kiss to your lips. “I love you with all my heart. Forever and always.”
The two of you sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms, for a while longer until Bob finally rose, lifting you up as well. “Do you mind if I bring this with us to our room?” he asked, holding up the teddy bear he’d been holding tightly to all this time.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” you told him with a small smile, leaning against his side as he led you out of the nursery. Once the both of you were out in the hallway, he reached back to shut the lights off and was going to close the door, when you suddenly said, “Leave it open.”
“Are you sure?” he asked gently, eyebrows raised in surprise as he looked down at you.
You were quiet for a moment, but then you nodded. “I’m sure.”
Gazing at you proudly, Bob slipped his arm around your waist and led you down the hallway to your bedroom, where the two of you slipped under the covers and found your way back into one another’s arms.
And as you slowly fell asleep, resting safely atop your husband’s chest, you realized the ache in your chest had lessened for the very first time.
You and Bob would survive this grief, together.
You would be okay.
Your husband had finally given you the words you had been searching for.
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 6 months
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Hey! I work in a bookshop and quite frequently get asked by parents about Anna Huang or other ‘dark romance’ books which have become popular on tiktok. They often very clearly have no clue what they are and have been asked for them by the kid. I’m totally fine with that and each to their own but sometimes I get the question of whether they’re ‘appropriate’, today it was for a 14 year old. I never want to snitch because I’m sure I read the same when I was 14 but I also don’t know how to feel about lying. As someone who talks about sex ed, do you have any advice for talking to parents about books that depict sex explicitly (and with questions about ‘age appropriate-ness) and potentially what you normally recommend to and for teenagers that age, particularly in front of parents?
hey man, I'm gonna be so real with my take on this:
1.) parents don't need to know everything their kids are reading and 2.) if they're so worried about whether or not a book fits what they think is appropriate for their kids, there are... so many ways to do that. literally just google it, besties. read the synopsis. tiktok dark romances are not shy about what they're about.
and if they're right there in the store, odds are they can get their hands on a physical copy of bestseller Ana Huang's books and flip through to get a sense of what's going on. again, the romance genre is not subtle; catching points of concern will not be hard. your job as a bookseller is to get books in people's hands; the vetting process is up to them and that doesn't make you a liar, frankly.
a good canned response might be something like "a lot of teenagers like these books, and kids tend to be pretty good at knowing what kind of stories they're ready to read. if you're worried about it, maybe you can try reading some reviews of the book before you buy it or having a conversation with your kid about the content." no lies there, and kids really are stellar at just noping out of stories that aren't really landing on their wavelength. and on the flipside of that, kids are actually WAY MORE CAPABLE than many parents think of reading potentially upsetting stories and processing it just fine.
the last time I was teaching sex ed classes with my 4th-6th graders there was this darling boy on the older end of the group who LOVED reading romance novels, but on the day our class was talking about consent he told me very seriously that he thought the characters in his books were actually pretty bad at just talking to each other and how those kinds of relationship dynamics wouldn't be very good in real life. he was completely right! and totally aware that things he thought were interesting to read about weren't good role models! amazing!
for a 14 year old in particular, I think drawing hard boundaries around sex in books is frankly very silly. when I was in middle school the Hunger Games was being cheerfully recommended to every kid who walked into the library; if a 14 year old can read about a bunch of teens slaughtering each other in a state-sanctioned dystopian blood bath they can absolutely read about two people having dubiously written sex.
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ezziefae · 6 months
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Thoughts on Chap 2 of The Prisoner's Throne.
"Oak takes the stairs, careful now. He has the surreal feeling of being in a video game. He played enough of them, sitting on Vivi’s couch. Creeping through pixelated rooms that had more of the appearance of Madoc’s stronghold where he grew up than anywhere they went in the mortal world. Leaning on Heather’s shoulder, controller in his hands. Killing people. Hiding the bodies."
Okay, starting off strong already. I squealed when I read the part where Oak has his head leaning on Heather's shoulder. The "Killing people. Hiding the bodies" part was an obvious reference to Oak's blood thirst.
This is a stupid, ugly, violent game, Vivi said. Life isn’t like that. And Jude, who was visiting, raised her eyebrows and said nothing.
JUDEEEEEE
a few selkies hang around at the edges, no doubt gathering news of a rising power to take back to the Undersea.
These selkies are snitches. Holly did confirm that we were gonna see many familar faces from TFOTA, so I am definitely expecting to see Nicasia or Orlagh.
But after he and Vivi and Heather had to carry bags of laundry to the basement of their apartment building and feed quarters into a machine, along with detergent and fabric softener, he realized that someone must have been performing a related service for him in Faerie.
AWEEEE! how humble Oak has become. I'm so happy we're not only getting more Jude and Cardan but also Vivi and Heather.
He feels a bit foolish as he wades into a vat, naked. Should he be discovered, he will doubtless have to play the silly, carefree prince, so vain that he escaped his prison for a bath. It would be a crowning achievement of embarrassment.
LMAO! I can just imagine how hilarious this would be.
Oak knows it’s ridiculous, and yet he can’t help feeling as though they have an understanding of each other
Oak had the bridle placed on him, he was imprisoned for three weeks, he was starved and neglected, and he still thinks this way of Wren. This boy is soooo in love.
Nor is he sure what it means about him that he finds hope in the fact that Wren has kept him. Fine, not everyone would see being thrown into a dungeon as a romantic gesture, but he’s choosing to at least consider the possibility that she put him there because she wants something more from him.
Oak is absolutely DELUSIONAL, DE LU LUUU. LIKE BOY FINDS BEING IMPRISIONED A ROMANTIC GESTURE. THAT IS VERY CONCERNING. IM CRYING
since Hyacinthe was the one who stole Damsel Fly
NO! NOT DAMSEL FLY TOOO! Oh a war is definitely coming.
Hyacinthe is now Wren’s second-in-command
oh this will not be a fun discovery for Tiernan.
Either way, he’d be free. Free to not need rescuing. Free to attempt to talk his sister out of whatever homicidal plan she might foment against the Citadel. Free to return home and go back to performing fecklessness, back to sharing the bed of anyone he thought might be planning a political coup, back to being an heir who never wants to inherit.
The way Oak believes he can talk Jude out of battling with Wren. Like does he not know his sister?
"Back to sharing the bed of anyone he thought might be planning a political coup" WHATTT!!! okay this is a huge deal, Oak has been sleeping with people to find out if they are a threat to him or elfhame. My poor boy, does oriona not watch over him??? or jude?? how did it get so bad that he had to start doing that???
Not that he knows how to stop either of them if he remains here. He’s not sure anyone knows how to stop Jude. And Wren has the power of annihilation. She can break curses and tear spells to pieces with barely any effort. She took apart Lady Nore as though she were a stick creature and spread her insides over the snow.
Yeah so when I finished The Stolen Heir, I feared for Jude and Cardan. Oak is right, Jude is dangerous and she will try to fight ANYTHING that gets in her way, but Wren is horrifically dangerous as well. I fear for both Jude and Wren. This is gonna be chaos.
Then he sees Wren, and longing shoots through him like a kick to the gut. He forgets about risk. Forgets about schemes.
OH OAKKK STOPPPPP.
“Not my future.” There is a hollowness to Wren’s cheeks, Oak notices. She’s thinner than she was, and her eyes shine with a feverish brightness. Has she been ill? Is this because of the wound in her side when she was struck by an arrow?
Oh no.
Bogdana does not contradict her this time. “You have need of my strength. And you have need of my companions if you hope to continue as you are.” Oak stiffens at those words, wondering at their meaning.
so wren is not doing so well, and bogdana hope she listens and gets help from her companions. the real question here is what is the problem?????
Mother Marrow does not seem discomfited in the least. She walks to Wren and deposits the white walnut in her hand. “Remember these words, then. To conjure it, say: We are weary and wish to rest our bones. Broken shell, bring me a cottage of stones.”
So wren can make a cottage appear and dissaper with the shell she received from mother marrow. Im assuming that this shell will be used in the story somehow. But what would get to that point? wren already lives in a palace of her own, so why give her a shell that can make a cottage house appear? will Oak use it when he escapes? will wren run away and use it???? im guessing this cottage house will be used significantly.
And yet, Oak notices that she sways a little before gripping the arm of her throne. Forcing herself upright. Something is very wrong.
Yikes.
The man steps forward. “Though I do not like to be outdone, I have nothing so fine to give you. But Bogdana summoned me here to see if I can undo what—”
So from what I'm getting, there's something more about wren we don't know about. something that's hurting her or affecting her deeply. Her power? stress and anxiety? I might need some time to crack this one.
Her eyes move restlessly under their lids, as though she doesn’t even feel safe in dreams. Her skin has a glassy quality, as though from sweat or possibly ice. What has she been doing to herself ?
I'm starting to feel very overprotective of Wren. With Jude and Cardan coming to the citadel to save Oak I fear for both sides.
But as though she can sense him, Wren opens her eyes.
SERIOUSLY THIS IS HOW THE CHAPTER ENDS??? At this point Oak is asking to be killed, he could've had the oppurtunity to escape, yet he chose to follow wren to her room. This chapter made me feel very empathetic of Wren, she looks like a villain, but she's really not. She has been betrayed, tortured, abused, neglected for many years, her actions of becoming queen and imprisoning Oak all come from hurt.
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budbuddnbuddy · 1 year
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𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐟𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 (pt2)
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A/n: Not y’all giving me over 100 notes in under a day. Got me smiling and kicking my feet. 🤭🫶🏾 Since y’all liked Part one so much here’s part two.
TLDR: Same thing as last time you were almost put on a shirt and your discord kittens were angy
Satan
Worst thing about party’s in Satan’s opinion? Knowing too many people.
So many people dragged him and Asmo onto the dance floor, most of the time he wasn’t even dancing! Just talking to a bunch of other demons that he knew.
He wanted to take a break, have a chat with you by the buffet table, but he kept. on. being. pulled. aside. to. chat.
After he was done talking to this witch he swore he was gonna walk straight up to you and relax.
*BANG!*
Damnit.
He didn’t even get to see what happened and he’s sure that at least 40% of the people on the dance floor didn’t either, but they all just ran and swept up Satan and Asmodeus along with them.
His brain immediately got to work on thinking about what happened. No regular Devildom civilian or RAD student could have a gun you could only get one if you were on the military or a underground assassin.
Satan highly doubts that any military person would even think about killing someone at RAD, unless they wanted a death sentence.
So if it was an assassin….who were they after? No one of actual important status was at the party no one besides him and his brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos, the exchange stud-
Suddenly the smell of human blood stains the air.
“No…..”
It’s sickening, disgusting, recoiling. He almost pukes when it entered his nose. He can actually feel himself getting nauseous with each passing second.
Finally he’s tugged under a table by Asmodeus.
*BANG!*
Anything he had eaten within the last 17 hours was currently now running out of his throat and onto the floor.
After that everything was fuzzy, but he found himself outside watching Lucifer and Mammon get in a ambulance with you while he watched from the sidelines.
After him, Asmo, Levi, and Belphie got home he felt extremely guilty for not doing anything at the moment, so he would have to just make up for it now!
He made sure that you would come back to a clean, good smelling, relaxing environment. Your room and bathroom is deep cleaned, the hallways are clean, kitchen is organized and everything is set up and back properly.
He remembers times when you were sick and he and his brothers didn’t know how to take care of a human. Well mostly his brothers but still…
After you got better you talked with him about it, give him some advice on what to do. So he basically took all of that and brought it to the extreme of course not alone he had some help from Levi and Asmo.
When you were discharged he was there for the ride to take you home, helped you get into bed, and presented your favorite meal to you in bed with Levi. Perfectly cooked.
He would read and stroke your head with it in his lap till you fell asleep, giving you kisses on your cheeks and nose every single night.
Asmo
So many of his adoring fans were at the party!!! How can he not bath in their attention all night?
Plus when a tall hot muscular guy says he’s a fan of you and starts up an conversation while eventually asking you to dance, how can you not say yes?!
Seriously he was thirsting all over this guy but don’t worry dearest MC! He still loves you the most. ♡
*BANG!*
The first gunshot went off and everyone around him ran and scattered. He was getting shoved but he kept pushing forward to find someone he knew.
Satan was also on the dance floor but he was on a completely different side of it, he looked around left and right and found him zoning out next to a near by table.
Using some random people as stepping stools, he tackled Satan under the table and was effectively able to avoid the crowd.
Satan was swaying back and forth, he put his hands on his shoulders, trying to get him to snap out of it.
*BANG!*
He flinched his hands away and Satan hurled right next to him.
“Satan! What’s going on? Why does someone have a gun? Who are they after?! If there was someone who had answers he knew it was him.
“M…….C……”
Asmodeus felt the blood drain from his face and the sound in his ears deafen. It all made sense now.
A huge party at RAD where everyone would be out of uniform and the chance that you would be away from all of them even for just a mere second?
To any average person, you were still being monitored. But to a hitman? If you just found the right place to hide, that would be the perfect place to strike.
He grabbed Satan by the collar and rushed the both of them out of there.
Maybe you were still okay. Maybe you were running along with the rest of the crowd. Maybe you were outside and safe and-
He stares in horror as he watches you get placed into the ambulance, his body finally lets him break out a sob and the waterworks finally start to flow.
When he and the others finally got back to the house he was already walking back out to go buy the best gifts for you.
He places the best ones into a small back a orders Satan and Lucifer to give to you when they’re about to leave and get you from the hospital.
All the others?
When you have so many fans that are willing to give you a bunch of money, you can practically buy anything.
When you walk back into your room there a corner filled with boxes and presents just for you.♡
Beel & Belphie
Y’know…it’s almost as if Beel instantly knows when Belphie has left and been out of the room for more then five minutes whenever they’re at events.
He was at the buffet table stuffing his mouth, per usual. But suddenly felt as if something wasn’t right…he looked around and saw that Belphie wasn’t where he was sleeping before….weird.
Belphie was sleeping again the wall but Beel had moved him to the couch what was near the bathrooms and yet….he wasn’t there.
There’s no way that he would’ve woken up by himself unless
1. Somebody woke him up and he moved somewhere else.
2. He sleep walked away from the spot he put him in
3. Someone moved him from where he was placed at.
Beel highly doubted anyone would do either the first or last options, so he settled on him sleep walking somewhere else.
He looked outs in the hallways, then in the bathroom, then, under the tables, under the couch he put him in, upstairs in the storage closet, in another room- hey wait a minute…
Beel rushed back to the cramped storage closet and found Belphie still asleep on the floor with his back against the wall.
He shook him awake he was about to yell at him but looked confused. “Wait….why am I in the a storage closet?”
Okay now something was very very wrong-
*BANG! CRASH!*
“What the-“ “Holy shit!”
Beel almost rushed out the door but was immediately pulled back by Belphie.
“What are you doing!” “That sounded like a gunshot, you can’t go out there. Guns down here are insanely deadly, if you get hit you’ll die on impact!”
The two of them went back and forth for awhile, Beel arguing that he can’t just sit back and do nothing, while Belphie is still trying to not let them out the closet.
*BANG!*
The both of them go silent as your scream rings through out the entire room. Their eyes widened as they soon realized that you were in trouble. Belphie finally let’s go of Beel and he almost ripped the door off it’s hatches trying to get out.
A couple steps forward and a turn to the right hes immediately faced with a Demon running from both Lucifer and Lord Diavolo.
“Beel!!! Stop him! Get him onto the ground!!”
2 seconds later that same Demon was crushed under Beel’s weight and put in a armlock onto the floor.
After Lucifer left Beel and Lord Diavolo was soon joined by Barbatos and Belphie who surrounded the groveling choking man on the floor.
“Thank you for your assistance, Beelzebub. You’ve done enough for us, I think you should catch up with Lucifer and your human. I’ll take everything from here.”
*WHACK!*
Barbatos then proceeded to tie up the man with with some rope found in the storage closet, and Lord Diavolo gave a nod of approval to go ahead.
They were both late to get on the ambulance but they did see where it was going so they hopped into Mammon’s Car and drove off to the hospital.
They stayed for your surgery and once it was over they left and bought you some snacks and blankets the next day.
Beel carried you out to the car after you were discharged and they carpooled with you Satan and Lucifer on the way back to the HOL.
“So what did it feel like? Did you like die and come back to life like in those human movies? *Gasp!* Does this mean you’re a zombie-“ “Shut up Belphie.”
For someone who was literally the embodiment of sloth he did have a lot of questions to ask.
At least Beel shared most of his snacks with you.
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@vernith @shimmering-obsidian @fortunatelypinkcat @the-sassiest-toaster @ikevampharem
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maopll · 1 year
Note
Can I request Trey, Malleus, Jamil, and Lilia treating their s/o injuries after they found out their s/o self-harmed?
Let me treat you better
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thanks for the request ! I hope it is to your liking <3
characeters: trey, malleus, jamil and lilia
warning: self harm, injury, blood. please do not read if you're uncomfortable
a/n: just a note to all that please do not harm yourself ! you are lovely just the way you are and even if you can't find solace between your closest people remember there are always those who will love you for being yourself <3
Trey Clover
he has been babysitting mostly everyone in the dorm so he grew an instinct of when a person is feeling under the weather or anything
he noticed how you have been really talking less to everyone and you have been looking really thin
when he went to confront it you brushed it off but he noticed a scar on the dorsal side of your hand
he was in utter shock when he saw the many scars that you inflicted on yourself
he gave you a lecture on how you are loved by everyone and that you shouldn't injure yourself like so
he would listen to all of your rants as you vent to him
he would also kiss the scars that you have to let you know that he loves you and bandage them for you
Malleus Draconia
he himself tends to not associate with anyone and keeps silent so he didn't really think that you not talking to anyone was anything out of the ordinary
but he has quite the great senses
so he felt that something has happened to yet and its not something good
now he asked you about it but you didn't wanna tell so he didn't press further
however he saw the many scars on your wrist and hand when you would be in your dorm all by yourself
he rushed through the door to you and flooded you with questions cause he was really concerned with what has happened to you
dw if someone has told you many toxic things he will beat the shit out of that person unless to tell him not to
he is going to stay with you all night and help you treat the scars all while whispering sweet nothings into your ear
Jamil Viper
he didn't notice your scars were self inflicted at first because he saw only a tiny amount of them from a distance
he knew you were really optimistic and energetic so maybe those scars came while cooking or something of the sort
when he asked if you needed help cooking cause he saw the scars you have you kinds stumbled
yeah something was not right
when he inquired further about it you decided to show him all the self inflicted scars
he doesn't know how to comfort you but he will let you hig him for the rest of the night as you cry on his shoulder
After you are calm enough he will treat all your injuries
Lilia Vanrouge
he is a grandpa, he has lived through many years and he looked after malleus who was quite the child
he has motherly instincts so when you are no longer the energetic person you were he is going to personally investigate what has happened to you
he's gonna be so sad when he finds out you have been cutting yourself
he is going to go to your dorm with all your favourite snacks and all the things that you like
he doesn't like it when you harm yourself so please explain to him why you did so
he will help you treat the injuries and run a warm bath for you to soothe your nerves
please, once again, do not harm yourself. you are beautiful the way you are and we love you <3
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cressthebest · 1 month
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Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 15
chapter 26: (check tags for triggers)
1. james’ stab wound will heal, but of course he’s gonna have to use a cane for the rest of his life. my poor darling. but also! CHARACTERS WITH DISABILITIES THAT WONT BE ERASED!!! HELL YEAH!
2. this nurse is pissing me off. sirius is asking if james and reg are gonna be okay, and all she can talk about it appearances and scars. not if they’ll be okay
3. sirius and reg are reunited. thank god. this is what the world needs
4. “"I love you. You're my brother; of course I love you. Always have, always will, and nothing—absolutely nothing in this world could ever change that, do you hear me? You're enough for me, and I love you. Never, never fucking doubt that."” AHHHHHHHHHHHHH reg needed to hear that so bad, and james needed to say it so bad
5. 😧😟 reg is vomitting blood. yikes. wow. that’s yikes. it’s not even HIS BLOOD that he’s vomiting. and i wanna know who’s blood filled that river. i want to know who was killed to make blood for that river
6. “”It's fine. I didn't even like this shirt.” (Sirius really liked this shirt.)” 😭😭
7. 😊 siblings! sirius wipes reg’s face, and reg threatens to vomit on him again
8. reg questioning if he actually made it out. that breaks both mine and sirius’ heart. “"I—I thought it made sense, because why would I have scars if I was dead?””
9. reg breaking down and sobbing to his brother. wow. i- wow
10. gosh, remus and sirius are already like a married couple. i love them
11. regulus would just wake up and ask for james. that hurts. in no way was my experience any where near as bad, but i know it must suck to wake up, calling for someone, and them not to be there. when i woke up from wisdom tooth surgery, i called out for my mom many times, and the nurses jsut told me to be quiet, and i can’t see her. i was so distressed that i cried. my pain is not anywhere like james or reg’s but i know that it sucks.
12. sobbing. reg needs to shower, but doesn’t want to get in the water. he’s scared of the water. like wow
13. god, james wakes up and starts fighting people. he never should have had to go through that.
14. james is begging to see regulus, and regulus begged to NOT see james. idk how zar could have hurt me any more, but here we are
15. james and sirius have matching scars! that’s horrific! but! they’re matching!
16. sirius’ words before james went into the arena. we get to know them. and it’s both healing to know the memory, but also hurts like a motherfucking truck
17. sirius asking for remus to kiss him! consent!
18. shit. remus realized he loved sirius. like. loved him. wolfstar better be granted happiness in this universe
19. authors end note: “you think regulus is unhinged? sirius is so, so much worse 😳”
chapter 27:
1. god, regulus needs to take a shower. he must STINK. but also, i do not blame him for not wanting to
2. i appreciate remus’ honestly. he will not dance around the point with reg, and honestly, that’s what he needs
3. oh my god. is remus gonna get reg to take a bath? honestly, if anyone could do it, it would be remus. nobody else could do it
4. remus sharing the petty hallow drama 😭😭
5. james and sirius friendship is all i need in this life
6. oh wow. sirius is hurt that james never told him about his crush on regulus. not that james likes regulus. i love when fics do that instead of sirius being angry
7. i love that it’s no issue for james and sirius to share a bed. they need comfort. they share. that’s that.
8. sirius not letting james have a drink cause he knows it’s a slippery slope >>>>>>
9. ✨remus lupin✨
10. 😧 reg but sirius as a reflex from the arena. and immediately apologized. he’s never hit sirius before. and wow. that-
11. sirius is admitting something he never even told james. that he accidentally hit effie. and 😧😧😧
12. AWWWW REMUS CALLED JAMES SWEETHEART
13. honorable mention for all pandora did in this chapter. she is a lifesaver, she is a queen, she is a goddess, and she deserves so much
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mtchacffinz · 1 year
Text
tempestuous temper, kalpas pt. 1
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prompt! "Sorry I didn't mean to moan like that my bad" but it worked in your favor 🤭
content! kalpas x fem!reader, manhandling, size kink, Kalpas dense dumbass, REALLY thirsty reader, extremely explicit
note! oh you guys aren't ready for me when I say I'm one of the biggest Kalpas dick rider over here i swear to god. this is pretty self indulgent so it has AFAB pronouns </3 by the way he hasn't shoved his dick in you here yet LMALOO.... yet.....
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Kalpas was rude and unapproachable. His malice seeps off his entire body whenever you even show a slight interest in him with those pretty eyes of yours. The Flame-Chaser was dense and quick tempered, easily pissed off, and always looking for trouble.
You, however..
You were usually a sweet girl, a very very sweet girl. The kind of lady who gives flowers every so often to people she cherishes— you know, the kind who praises and pampers her friends every chance she gets. You were reserved, cheerful, polite, keep to yourself, and most of all, you really work hard. As a soldier, you believed that every life must be treated preciously, as if you only have one duty: to help create a sanctuary for humanity free of— or less of Honkai.
These attributes of yours served you tremendously. The Halo Effect never fails to accentuate your genuine kindness and tenderness you give out to others. But alas, such as Kalpas, Mobius, and many nameless others, it's often looked down upon when it's given correspondence to your occupation.
But the itch.. that undeniable itch you get just by letting your mind wander even for a little bit.. It's dangerous. Especially for mind readers in the MOTHS, you're sure to believe the Su himself started to mind his own business when he even catches a glimpse of you drooling. Your height has a big gap in-between the lines of those measuring meters with everybody else— His body could easily tower over you long before he even got his transformative surgery done (even if you had not seen it for yourself, Elysia has told you many times!). You shift your body from where you stand. Those quick glances you give Kalpas every time your paths pass— every stolen gaze would leave him wondering: what the fuck is your problem? Are you looking for a fight?
So one time, Kalpas decides to act upon it. His booming footsteps echoed all throughout the lobby signifying his entrance. His mask didn't manage to make you feel better as his whole tall, and jacked figure loom over yours— back against the wall both figuratively and literally.
His temper was like a ripple in a wave, one swift motion and everything follows through his rage. But you.. you weren't scared at all. In fact, you were terrified. You were panicking! What now? What has he learned? Did he manage to read your mind? Does he know you want him to wrap those big, cold, veiny hands of his on your neck? From the way you're averting your eyes mashed with the way you stumble on your words, Kalpas knew something was wrong. Unaware of your.. well, unorthodox thoughts— he starts to feel excitement himself. After all, a person showing absolutely no signs of a mean bone in their body, looking so small under his eyes, jittering with crossed arms, Kalpas thinks he definitely hit something in your nerves.
Kalpas wants to see you seethe with rage. He needs to get a rise out of you. You're fucking boring! He can't stand being in the same room with someone all smiles and flowers! Sure, he's seen you bathed in blood and dust— but surely you could be more grand than that? With each tick the clock makes, he grows impatient.
"You gonna say something or what?" His voice sultry and low. More often than not, he wonders what even led you here to this treacherous path. Especially where your ideals lie on hopeful visions of image-less salvation— where even the world itself spoke openly of a war neverending. A war where he would become the smoke, the dust, and the blood soaked dirt of the very plane you stand; someone as soft and cute as you.
You, however, couldn't bring yourself to even say a thing. Not one word out of your mouth. You're afraid that if you even say one thing, something else would come out. Kalpas is staring down at you hard. From the way he's eyeing you, you would've thought he's already eating bits and pieces of your soul. Then again, you would've loved to do the same— just not in a way he thinks. Really, looking up at him top to bottom, you're dying to taste him in your mouth this instant. That bitter, wet after taste on your tongue kept plaguing your phantasmic senses; so much so that you unconsciously lick your lips.
Gross.. you're a pervert. And as this whole ordeal prolongs, you're starting to come to terms with it, internally chuckling at the irony of it all. If only you were bold enough like Elysia, even charming enough like Eden— or perhaps as mesmerizing as a Serpent like Mobius, then maybe, just maybe you would bat your eyelashes at him flirtatiously and shoot your shot?
But you're not crazy. Maybe down horrendously bad, but not insane.
But when he started putting those hands of his on your body, that's when you started to get increasingly nervous. Kalpas, without restraint, grabs your collar and pulls your frame closer to his. His forearm rests behind you leaving you nowhere to look but him. Your throat lets out a suppressed yelp. Suddenly, the air was hotter and the colors were a little more indistinguishable. Heat started creeping up on your face, spine tingling with every breath he heaved behind his mask. Oh.. that tickles.. and suddenly, the floor was quite interesting. But that didn't work. You can't see the floor now that his chest is obscuring your vision.
Kalpas could very much sense that something is wrong. First of all, you're not giving the reaction he wants from you. Where's the narrowed eye glare? Or even a seat from your hands now that his fist is curled on your collar? Come to think of it, you're being awfully submissive to his taunts. Even if he came here with a second agenda, isn't hostility a normal reaction? For God's sake. You're insufferable. Your cheeks puffed out in a pout, averting his figure like a goddamn plague— he finds surprise in your hands trailing their way towards his arm, holding onto it gently.
"Kalpas. I don't like telling people what to do."
"So your mouths finally serving you? Good."
You gulp a little, looking up at him while he loosens his hold on your collar. Part of you yearned him to caress your cheek, but he was no sweet man. He's a funny guy. You like his humour. But you can't help but think— what is he here for? Before letting you even have a heave of peace, Kalpas suddenly turns you over, and toss you on his shoulders. His big, warm hands grabbed your waist, and you let out a small noise.
Noise. It was a noise. You swear it was a noise, not a moan or anything.
Kalpas suddenly tenses up, stopping in his tracks with you still in his arms. His grip on you almost loosens, as you limp weakly into his arms. Oh wow. Your face is basically a CPU heating up. You were shaking and quivering from the humiliation that you wished you could just be thrown across the room head first now.
"Don't—... Don't say anything." You could tell he was a little surprised, but he carries on like nothing happened. You can't even focus on your surroundings right now because all you could think was fifteen thousand thoughts about how weird you are and he's never ever going to approach nor talk to you again. In my opinion, that's a little far fetched. He's a weird guy as well! It's not just you who should be at fault ~
Kalpas grumbles under his breath. You didn't quite catch it, but you couldn't care less. Not when his scent was mere centimeters away from your nose.. this is something you will not be forgetting that's for sure.
Oh, you kinda want to bite him. Before you entertain the thought, Kalpas once again grabs you by the waist and tosses you across the couch of the lounge. For a moment, you were stricken with dizziness— your body bouncing a little upon the cushions.
Confused, maybe a little shocked (and definitely turned on) you space out a moment, only being brought back to reality when Kalpas slams the door closed.
He was gone.
What just happened?
"Oh, hi~ you're here!" You quickly turn towards the source of that sweet, cooing voice. Elysia stood just a few meters away from you, a sly smile on his face. "Enjoyed the ride I organized for you?"
"Elysia!"
"Hee-hee, a ride.."
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this was a silly thirst i did lmao, it was sitting in my drafts for a while, so here ~
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lover-sy · 7 months
Text
WHAT I DO WHEN I’M ON MY PERIOD
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୨☕️୧
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Hi, hii! Today’s post isn’t random because I started my period yesterday and I also got sick so my energy is really drained and I want to share a few tips to maybe help some of you! ( this is the 2nd time I’m writing this so I’m a bit annoyed )
— HYDRATION : you gotta drink A LOT of water during your period. Hydration is already so important as it is but during your period it’s 10x more important
— TEA : first of all shoutout to all my tea girlies. Then, I love drinking tea ( without caffeine!) because it not only makes my cramps better because of the warmth and since i often drink peppermint and ginger ( which is really good during your period ) but i also just convince myself that tea will make me feel better so it does. ( it’a all about the mindset )
— POSITIVITY : I always try to see the good in things which also includes my period. As i told SOME PEOPLE I imagine it as the blood of my enemies.. not i’m kidding. I just tell myself that I can grow a whole human and that it’s gonna be over soon. This isn’t temporary so I shouldn’t complain because I can’t change anything about it by complaining ( I tell myself that with a lot of things. Complaining never helps )
— EATING : I try to get as many vitamins in as possible with veggies, fruits and nuts but fish and chicken is also very good for you!
— VITAMINS/SUPPLEMENTS : i only eat chicken as meat so i’m deficient in a lot of vitamins so i have to take a lot of the most important one during your period is magnesium. Even if you eat a lot of food containing magnesium ( mostly nuts ) you should consider taking some magnesium supplements
— REST : this is the key to not passing out in this week of suffering. Sleep a lot and limit your physical activity ( I’m sorry to my athletes out there. ), instead of going to the gym and doing heavy workouts stay in bed and read a nice book or do chores around the house ( also has you moving )
— MOVE : very contradictory but yoga and a bit of walking can never do harm, i love walking during my period because it makes me feel like I did something but it also doesn’t leave me completely drained from all energy.
— WARMTH : tea, warm baths, heating pads and pets ( my cats keep me warm <3 )
— DISTRACTION : this may differ from person to person but I need a lot of distraction especially when I’m just laying around in bed so I usually read a very captivating book to focus 100% and forget about the pain.
— PEOPLE : I stay in my dark room and when I’m in school talk less because I’m worried that I’ll snap at people but I usually tell my friends that I’m on my period or they figure so there isn’t any misunderstandings
— REMINDERS : you can’t do anything about the fact that you get periods, they’re normal and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about them. People who make you feel that way about them are childish. You weight may vary so don’t panic! ( i don’t weight myself during my period because it’s not my real weight so it’s of no use! ). Your energy is already low so try to stay calm and not waste it on unnecessary things or people. Drama can wait for when you’re ovulating.
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