#the handful of times we see him pursue a romantic relationship he seems so scared and desperate and earnest

[it-happened-one-fic]

Reliable - Sebek

Author's Notes: This fic is for @rainbowcake1212 for my 300 Followers Event! I hope you enjoy your Hot Chocolate and Cheesecake fic!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ fluff/ romantic/ Hot Chocolate and Cheesecake prompt

Word count: 2454

I stared, flabbergasted, at Sebek, who merely looked at me with that point-blank stare of his.

“So let me get this right…. You are getting harassed by overly pushy noble ladies seeking a…”

“A relationship.” He finished impatiently, scowling slightly before he continued, “I have rejected them countless times, but they still return. They no doubt wish to use me to get close to my Lord, but I will not allow it.”

A smug grin crossed his face as he finished, no doubt proud that he was protecting Malleus from a perceived threat. It was just sad that he didn’t realize he was perfectly worth being interested in all on his own without his connection to Malleus.

“And you want me to accompany you to this ball as your fake date?” I questioned him, hardly even able to believe that he had even brought this up.

And he simply nodded in confirmation, like there was nothing odd about it. 

I shook my head incredulously, “Wouldn’t it be better to find someone a little more… I don’t know, impressive, to scare off your suitors?”

His eyebrows rose in a surprisingly slow climb for someone quite as hot-blooded as Sebek, “No.” 

His hand twitched at his side, no doubt a sign of agitation at his having to request assistance from a human such as myself, “You will do perfectly well.”

I found myself shrugging, still not entirely certain about Sebek’s grand scheme but also willing to help. After all, it couldn’t be pleasant to be pursued by someone you’d already rejected.

 “Alright, I’ll do it. What do I need to know?” That ended up being the question I wished I’d never asked since that was the question that led to my copious and detailed instruction regarding the Valley of Thorns and its many, many customs.

But, come the day of the ball, I was certainly prepared. Especially since Mrs. Zigvolt herself had gotten me a suitably dressy outfit ready.

She’d been thrilled that Sebek had brought a friend home, and then even more delighted when she found I was going to be his partner for the evening. Even after I’d told her I was just his fake date, she remained delighted. Chuckling slightly to herself as she’d gotten my measurements, “Of course, dear. Of course.”

I’d frowned at her but kept my silence, not quite having the heart to tell her that Sebek was anything but interested in me. I was just handy for the current situation he was in. 

We were friends, but I doubted that line would ever be crossed since I was human and he’d made it painfully clear how he felt about humans in general. But, at the very least, pretending to be his date for the evening might be fun. Even if just a little.

And so I entered the palace on Sebek’s arm, doing my best to not be distracted by how good he looked in his clean-cut suit that made him look like a true knight even though he was still in training. 

If I hadn’t been able to see it before, I could certainly see why he had a great many suitors who were apparently hounding him.

The doors swung open as we arrived, carefully walking down the wide staircase into the ballroom filled with fae, who all turned to openly stare at us.

 Over at the raised dais, I could see Malleus, guarded by Lilia and Silver, alongside a seated woman whom I could assume was the queen.

The three of them seemed pleased to see me alongside Sebek, but I couldn’t say the same for everyone present.

There were several women, in particular, who seemed rather annoyed by my presence. Or perhaps it was more who I was with.

I leaned closer to Sebek, smiling relaxedly even as I whispered to him, “So what is it, exactly, that you’re wanting me to do?”

He glanced at me with one raised eyebrow, totally ruining the image of a happy couple by the lack of smile on his face, “You merely need to stay by my side.”

He spoke like that was obvious, and I sighed. Apparently, selling this relationship was going to be entirely up to me. 

And our first test came all too soon as a younger-looking noble came over, a smile on his face as he greeted Sebek, “Ah. It is good to see you again, Master Zigvolt. I am sure you are relieved to be home from school.” 

I watched awkwardly as the formalities were dispensed, feeling halfway like I was watching some sort of period film from a front row seat, until the man twisted to look at me, a charming smile on his face as he looked down at me, “And this is…?”

“Mine.” The response was blunt and immediate and had me looking up in utter shock at Sebek, who seemed perfectly relaxed. Like he hadn’t just spouted something utterly ridiculous, even if I was his fake date.

I smiled awkwardly as I looked back at the young man, who looked just as startled as I was, confirming that ‘mine’ was an odd way of introducing one’s partner even in the Valley of Thorns.

“Yes, I am Sebek’s partner,” I calmly let my hand continue to rest where it was, tucked through the crook of Sebek’s elbow, even as I squeezed his arm slightly in annoyed revenge. Earning myself an odd look from Sebek as I began cleaning up his mess.

“Please, call me Y/n,” The man nodded, smiling awkwardly as the two of us pretended that Sebek hadn’t just calmly asserted that I belonged to him. The man went on with what I assumed were more common pleasantries before at last bidding us adieu.

“It was a pleasure to have met you.” He bobbed his head awkwardly before quickly retreating as soon as he’d finished his piece. Leaving me to look up at Sebek in still frustrated shock.

“What was that?” I hissed at Sebek, earning myself an incredulous look from the young man, who apparently had seen nothing wrong with the introduction he’d given for me.

“I was letting him know that you were with me,” He was still utterly flummoxed, dragging a sigh out of me.

I’d known that Sebek was utterly hopeless, but this… I honestly hadn’t expected it to be quite this bad.

“Sebek, you can’t just introduce me as yours. No one does that. You need to just let people assume we’re together,” I quietly explained as we continued to meander through the room. Dodging various other guests who continued to watch the two of us with curious gazes.

“And why are people staring so much anyway? Is it that odd for you to come with someone?” Sebek was apparently more prepared for this line of conversation since he responded much more promptly and with less confusion as he shook his head.

“No. They are not used to humans. My father does not come to these… celebrations. The only human usually present is Silver, and he has already proved himself to be a competent knight. Other than that, it is only ever dignitaries.” I nodded as I mulled over his words, not entirely liking what they meant.

“So I’m the odd one here?” His nod confirmed my words, and I sighed, wondering for the thousandth time why he thought I would be a good choice for his fake date.

“Alright, what do we do next? Is there anyone you need to greet?” I looked up at him questioningly as he stopped us off to the side of the room. Glancing around as if to check that no one was too close to overhear us, even though people had been giving us wide-berth the entire time.

I suppose it was easier for them to observe from a distance.

“No, if anyone wishes to speak to me, they will come. At most, we’ll have to do one dance. For now, I’m going to get something to drink. Stay here,” So saying, he strode off. Straight-backed and proud as ever, even though it seemed like absolutely everyone was questioning his choice on his date. Including myself.

But that was the way Sebek often was. It was impossible to tell what was going to bother him and what wasn’t. While certain things being said about him would bother him endlessly, others wouldn’t. 

What surprised me was that the others whispering about the fact he’d come with a human didn’t bother him. It was true that his parents were a human and fae match, but I’d figured that such a thing would bother him.

I frowned, watching as one of the fae broke off from the crowd and approached me. It was a woman.

She was, just like the other fae, absolutely gorgeous. But, more importantly, she had me pointed and was obviously approaching to have a word with me. And if my reasons for being at this ball were anything to go by, it was going to have something to do with Sebek and what I was doing with him.

This was quite likely one of the suitors he’d wished to deter.

She smiled as she stopped in front of me, “You must be Sebek’s partner. I confess I wasn’t aware he had someone he was with until the two of you appeared. It is lovely to meet you.”

Her tone was sweet, and, to anyone watching, she would appear quite genuine. But there was something in the way she held herself, like a snake poised to strike at the very instant I gave her an opening, that spoke of anything but sweetness.

But this was something I’d already been prepared for. While Sebek hadn’t mentioned it, Lilia had.

The suitors Sebek so wished to deter weren’t likely to just accept that he’d found someone that he preferred over them. Much less if that person didn’t have a rank and wasn’t fae.

So I smiled back, preparing to play whatever game was being laid out in front of me, “Oh, we haven’t been together that long, and Sebek wanted to make sure I was ready to attend one of these balls before he brought me with him. He’s incredibly attentive, you see.”

Attentive indeed. I doubted I would ever forget the rigorous testing I’d gone through before he’d at last decided that I was ready for tonight.

“Indeed, he is quite a charming man. It’s good that he prepared you, though. It would be so unfortunate if something went wrong. After all, it wouldn’t just affect you, but him as well. Better to be safe than sorry, as they say.” 

She was an insincere one, that was certain. I could understand why Sebek wouldn’t like her, even as lovely as she was. 

And charming wasn’t the first word I would use to describe Sebek.

It was true that he had some endearing qualities and that he was quite attractive, but still… Charming didn’t quite encompass all of Sebek when one thought of exactly how loud and blunt he could be at times.

But I didn’t miss her oh-so-subtle threat about how if something were to occur, it would affect him. That was something I’d already realized and had been the only reason I’d accepted his lessons with little complaint.

“Well, yes, of course. I could never let something happen to harm him.” They weren’t untrue words. In fact, nothing I’d said was untrue. But, just from watching her, it didn’t look like I had to lie to upset her.

“My, you are a sweet one. I can understand why he likes you so well. However, I can’t help but wonder if you’ll be able to handle the pressure?”

I would have almost preferred if she’d thrown a drink in my face rather than attempting to slip through the cracks and hit me with attacks meant to weaken my resolve and cause uncertainty. But that was also her trouble. She wasn’t going to be able to sway me with such threats.

“Ah, well. I have faced certain pressures before, and I don’t want to disappoint Sebek….” I trailed off, watching as the man in question approached with a frown on his face.

“Y/n?” The woman turned to face him, her eyes wide at the tone he’d used. One that spoke of concern while simultaneously promising to handle the situation if I needed him to.

And that was one of the reasons this woman wouldn’t be able to sway me. Not only had she underestimated me, she’d underestimated exactly how much Sebek and I trusted one another.

I smiled at him, resting my hand on his arm, “Everything’s fine. I was just about to tell the lovely young woman that she needn’t worry about me. How could I ever crumble under any pressure and disappoint you when you are always so reliable?”

It was subtle, but I could see her fist clench behind her as she looked between me and Sebek. The picture of a supportive couple who wouldn’t crumble just because of a few spiteful words.

“I see.” He looked down at me for a brief moment, with a certain softness to his gaze before he looked her way. A proud smirk appeared on his face that had me bracing for the loudness that was coming.

“I THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN FOR MY PARTNER, MISS RAFFLESIA. BUT AS YOU CAN SEE THERE IS NO NEED FOR SUCH WORRIES!” 

I barely managed to not cringe at his loudness but smiled nonetheless as he broadcasted the entire situation to everyone at the ball.

Whether calculated or not, he had certainly embarrassed ‘Miss Rafflesia,’ as evidenced by the way she retreated at impressive speeds.

“Was the yelling really necessary?” I looked up at him, still smiling at his customary volume, which had been oddly absent this evening.

He looked down at me, nodding firmly as he lowered his voice, no doubt because I’d mentioned his yelling, “Indeed. They all need to know that you have my utter trust. That way, they won’t bother trying to harass you when I am not near. It would take more than just a few words to break my trust in you, and I have faith that it is the same for you.”

My eyes widened at his words, ever blunt in his honesty, no matter the topic. I laughed slightly as I recovered from my surprise, earning myself a surprised look from my partner, which only amused me further.

But how could I help it when I’d long since realized that even though this was just a fake arrangement, I could have a far worse partner than someone quite as reliable as my very own knight.

*Rafflesia is a genus of parasitic flowering plants in the family Rafflesiaceae. 

#300 followers event #Thanks for the request! #Hot chocolate and Cheesecake #Twisted wonderland imagines #Sebek Zigvolt #Sebek x reader #Fake relationship #fake relationship trope #fluff #romantic #Twisted wonderland x reader #Twisted wonderland x you #Twisted wonderland x y/n #gender neutral reader #Sebek x you #Sebek x y/n #sebek zigvolt x reader #Diasomnia #twst #Disney TW #twst x reader #twst x y/n #twst x you #mywritings #fanfiction #disney fanfic #fanfic #fic #request #Disney

[mxtantrights]

famous dc!au (dick's version)

TRACK TEN: CAN I HAVE THIS DANCE

It felt like every other hour you were seeing links to gossip rags about Dick and Zantanna. It was mostly your fault, once you click on one link they all start popping up and finding their way to you. You shouldn’t have clicked it in the first place. But you can’t really help yourself. 

Seeing him with her only made you a thousand percent sure that he didn’t have any romantic feelings for you whatsoever.

You fix the white dress robe that’s laid on your body one more time. Then you put your phone into your bag and walk over to set. This time is a bit different. The video is more elaborate you think. The director gave you the general idea of it, but she also said it would make more sense after adding effects and stuff to it. 

You would be dressed as a Grecian person. And, as if the world wasn’t already throwing you for a spin, Dick would be Apollo. All that you know about the greek god, you knew Dick was anything but that. Yes he was good looking and yes he’s had several relationships. But the version you learned about was cruel and manipulative. Dick was never that.

You walk onto the soundstage for the day. It was nothing but a painted blue sky with clouds. It didn’t look cartoonish, more realistic. You couldn’t help to look around in awe.

-

Dick walks onto set and sees you glancing around. Your eyes full of wonder and your mouth ajar. He stays right in his place, not wanting to disturb you. He’s scared. Scared that he might slip up and say something about his feelings for you. Or that he might just make a total fool of himself. Or both. Honesty both happening at the same time would be more his style and would send him to an early grave.

A tall PA comes up to him and gives him the run down of what todays’ shoot entails. Honestly he wasn’t paying attention when his team explained to him the video concept. He knows he’s in good hands. Directing his video this time around is The Music Meister. He’s well known for getting the video to go along with the lyrics and the temp of the song. 

Your eyes find his and you smile. But it doesn’t seem to reach your cheeks like it usually does. Dick wonders if something is upsetting you. He wonders if he can even ask you in this capacity. Would that be weird? Surely he can ask in a friendly and non-overreaching way. Yeah, he can do that.

He waves at you, and you wave back at him. Then a makeup assistant is pulling you in another direction. He watches as you go and then looks over at the PA who has seemingly stopped talking. Dick lets out a strangled breath. The PA probably just saw him drool after you, he wants to hit himself over the head.

“I’m sorry about that—“ Dick starts. “Nah, no worries. You’re just getting into the headspace. That’s fine.” The PA says.

And Dick can’t tell if the assistant actually believes that or is just giving him an out. Either way Dick is happy about it and smiles and nods. The PA decides not o pursue the object of getting him the details about the shoot and just walks away with a smile. 

-

If it wasn’t enough to have to see Dick during the day, you have to see him at night too. It’s not like you hate him now. On the contrary hating him would be easier than—you know. But right now you have feelings for him that aren’t going anywhere anytime soon and the dace instructor is telling you to lean your body onto his.

You let out a chocked breath and follow instructions.

“If this—I know this isn’t something you signed up for so if you’re uncomfortable we can ask for a change in the video.” Dick whispers to you.

You can only really hear him because he’s this close. His voice goes straight to your ears above the noise of the music playing in the background and the instructors directions. 

You shake you head, “I’m good. I’ve just never done this before.” 

The instructor tells you to toss your head back and for Dick to position his arms around your waist. The directions make you want to upchuck with how nervous you’re getting. You can see why Dick would think you’re uncomfortable. You slowly extend your head back as you feel his hands on your left and right sides. 

You hadn’t realized how good he is at holding something. It’s weird. It’s not something you should be thinking about, but it is. Dick Grayson is holding you from losing your balance and you feel like he’s never going drop you. 

You let out a breath, knowing that you had been holding it here and there with being this close to him like this. You can practically feel him breathing on your neck.

The only other man in the room directs Dick to drag a finger up the curve of your front, from your stomach to your neck. Your eyes go wide as you feel it happen and all of a sudden you’re giggling and pulling your head back up. 

You slap your hand over your mouth. You can’t believe you just did that. You remove your hand and look at the instructor and Dick. “I’m so sorry—I’m really ticklish I should’ve said something about that before we started.” You admit.

Dick looks to the man, “can you give us a sec?”

The man leave the two of you, holding his hand up to signal it’s a five minute break. Dick then turns to you with a smile.

“It’s okay. I should’ve asked before I went and followed his directions.” Dick says.

You clear your throat, “Well, I’ll tell you now that I’m ticklish, I can be pretty flexible and I like to crack my joints sometimes.” 

Dick laughs at that, “These are all good things to know.”

You smile.

-

This smile is different. Dick feels like a weirdo for knowing this, for knowing how your smile goes past your cheeks and both rows of your teeth show and your nose moves. He knows these things and he feels like a lovesick puppy. 

“That’s a nice view.” he says.

Of course he doesn’t mean to say it. It just falls out of his mouth. If Damian and Jason were here, they would scold him. Or, Damian would scold him for just flirting like the back of his hand and Jason would scold him for using such a cheesy line. 

But he means it. 

The smiles you set his way easier today weren’t real. He knows it. 

“What is?” you ask.

“Your smile. I don’t know I just,” Dick scratches the back of his neck, “earlier it seemed like something was eating at you.” 

You rolls your shoulders at his words. The boy wonder wonders if he’s struck a nerve. When he hears the small puff of air you let pass between your lips he definitely thinks he said something wrong.

“I mean something is, but it’s just hard to talk about.” you answer.

Dick nods his head, “I’m here if you wanna talk, or not talk.”

There is a silence between the two of you. Dick knows how that sounded and puts his hands up in surrender, his brain can’t make the words fast enough. It’s only when you let out a hearty laugh that he realizes he can calm down a bit. God, your laugh.

“Promiscuous.” you tease.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean that like—I meant like we could hang out and not talk about it. Like go to the aquarium again.” Dick replies.

“I understood what you meant. And yeah we can hang out again for sure.”

And before he can say anything to that, the dance instructor comes over to you two and claps his hand once, asking you to take positions again. Dick bites his tongue and turns to you fully. You place yourself right in his hold this time, your eyes sparkling. Like you might laugh again if he were to drag his hand up your front but you wouldn’t mind it. He wouldn’t mind it either.

#dc imagine #dick Grayson x reader #dick Grayson imagine #dc x reader #dc x you #dick Grayson x you #dc fic #dick Grayson #dc #famous dc! au (dick’s version)

[foodforthought00]

not defending ray but also not feeling as bad for sand? Somehow ray is breaking my heart more than sand. Hell even mew's situation hurts more than Sand's.

Ray's reactions feels like a direct result of Sand's flippant attitude towards their situationship, atleast verbally. We find Ray's insults jarring because they come in the form of angry outbursts whereas Sand's jabs feel muted. "I'll never make someone like you my boyfriend." "It's your business, why should I care." "We were never friends from the get go." Most recent one and a couple other that I probably can't remember. Can we honestly say these aren't hurtful? Not to mention the fiasco with outing our cheating couple. Ray's mind is feeble and his sense of self worth even more so. Their relationship was transactional, then physical and after Ray's persistent pestering bloomed into something more. But it was ray pestering and paying his way into Sand's life. Also sand is very quick to deny any proper connection between them. He's also quick to shut down Ray's advances. Two instances are on the bed in ep5 and at the pool table in the next epi. In both cases Ray tried and was sent packing as Sand's defense mechanism and revenge kicks in.

Is Ray expected to assume sand has romantic feelings for him? Nah, I'm not half as damaged as ray is and even I don't have it in me to assume the feelings of a partner who has been very vocal of their disinterest in pursuing anything romantic. Just nope. Not happening. One minute he's saying they will never be and in another he treats and acts like there is nothing more lovable than ray. Hell it's gives me a whiplash let alone ray.

Ray in episode 8 is confused to high heaven because he feels something precious slip away and at the same time isn't aware of what it is. He has what he has always wanted but something feels empty. And for the life of him, he can't piece together what it is. He seems annoyed angry and scared. That people he loves will only ever see his worth in pursuit of something else and not just him as a person. Also he would feel terribly ill at ease even if he does put a finger on Sand's emotions because why? Why does he have feelings for him, if at all he has any and even this realization happens at a turtle's pace and hits home when he is high and probably sink in during next episode.

We all accept the love we think we deserve, in Ray's case it's the love he can get his hands on. Mew is willing at the moment and sand isn't. I would like emphasise once again that mew has expressed his love for ray verbally and by being there for him thru the years. Only person to say 'i love you' while holding a broken and ugly ray. Sand, for all the love he feels for ray hasn't been able to verbalise his feelings because of the intensity and the potential it holds in ruining him.

While Ray's actions aren't excusable it really isn't fair to condemn him when the people around him are messing with his fragile psyche left right and centre by acting and speaking in polarity. Sand can probably swim to shore but ray and mew are in a precarious position where they seem more liable to drowning than swimming...

#sanray #only friends the series #raymew #ray x sand #sand x ray #raysand #sandray

[we-are-all-of-legend-now]

🫂 Rose and twin after Hong Kong Longs please!

🫂 Comforting hugs

No warnings for this one? Except that I've been into the wine

Rose laid on her bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling. It always helped her think better than when she was laying in bed. She didn't look up when her door opened because she knew who it was. Her parents didn't tend to bother her when she was in her 'mood', instead, they sent in her better half.

It was supposed to be a running joke but Rose didn't really think it was. Margaret, named after their grandmother, was the older and more serious twin. She was grounded and smart and everything that Rose wished she could be. When she was spiraling, and it seemed like Rose was the only one who ever spiraled, it was Margaret and only Margaret who could help her. Except, this time, Rose didn't know how to spill her soul. They were identical twins and, in the way that identical twins were, they could often read each others mind. When Margaret was cut, Rose was the one who bled.

Rose supposed it was how Margaret knew how to lay down next to her, their blonde hair mixing together, their cheeks pressed together, until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

"Mom's worried."

"She does that."

"Dad's worried."

"He does that."

Rose felt Margaret nod, then, Margaret said, "Your heart hurts."

"Yeah."

"Is it a boy?"

"Not in the way you're thinking." Rose sighed. "You're going to think I'm crazy."

"Try me."

Rose felt like the floor was spinning underneath of her as she thought of Jake Long. Dragons existed. There was a world in which she didn't know Margaret or her parents, where she had been raised in the most hellish version of a cult, to slay those dragons. There was a world in which she had fallen so in love that even now, even in this world where she hadn't even known his name for a full forty-eight hours, her heart hurt with the loss of him.

"What if who I am wasn't who I was meant to be?" Rose asked in a whisper.

"In what way?"

"What if I made the wrong choice once? What if I was supposed to be better or worse or weaker or stronger? What about an alternate world out there when I got everything right?" Rose didn't want to tell Margaret everything because she didn't yet know everything she wanted to say, but Margaret knew her desperation. Margaret knew everything.

"You mean, like, if you came out first? Butterfly effect?"

"Yeah, sure," Rose said, like she knew what the butterfly effect was.

"I believe in alternate universes. I believe that everything possible is true and false at the same time."

Rose felt like she was going to throw up.

"What does that have to do with a boy?"

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

"We're identical twins. We are the same soul," Margaret said emphatically. "But I believe that our experiences in this life shape who is the best for us, if you're talking about romantic relationships."

Rose took her twin's hand. "What if I found my soulmate from another life? What if I want him I love him in this life? What if it's all wrong or all right or -"

"Breathe."

Rose did.

"If you like the boy, you like the boy. See what happens. It's not like you to be scared."

That was entirely true. To compensate for Margaret's carefulness, she was reckless. But, this was bigger than Margaret was grasping, and if Rose pursued this, eventually, she would have to tell Margaret everything. They didn't have secrets. But there was so much to everything that Rose didn't know if she was ready to handle all of that.

"You're not going to do anything crazy, are you?" Margaret asked.

Rose was known for crazy things. She dyed her hair and pierced her ears. She stayed out past curfew. She had done things that her parents didn't bother to ask about when she came home because ignorance was bliss. Margaret was right to worry because Margaret was the secret keeper. Margaret knew that when Rose went off the rails, she went off fast and hard.

"I don't think so. I just think I need you."

Margaret sat up and pulled Rose up with her, wrapping Rose in a hug so tight that she couldn't breathe, but she didn't need to breathe. She didn't want to breathe. She hugged her sister tightly and, for the moment, let her take the weight.

Send me more!

#brea answers things #anonymous #american dragon jake long #jake long #adjl rose #rose adjl #jake/rose #disney #margaret twin #the last letter #my fanfiction #writing #american dragon #adjl

[underseaandearth]

The things she likes

Another very kind sweet man that I had no interest in whatsoever. We were incredibly different. 50 years ago did this complete lack of chemistry happen and did people just get married anyway? Because they ‘knew’ it was the right thing to do?

While he spoke I could feel myself looking elsewhere, listening in on things other people were saying. I was drifting in and out of attention. He was trying valiantly to keep things alive. I could see the conversation, the talking, going cold as I leaned into him. The language of the body: we could try speaking that. He reached for my hand and I took it. Even that felt strained, somehow. As he towered over me I basked in each dry kiss he placed on my temple and forehead. That’s one of the nicest feelings in the world regardless of who is doing it. But even then our distance remained. I get so frustrated at myself when I have dates like that. It feels like there’s something defective about me. I go cold inside for those incredible on paper if they don’t have at least a little bit of game; heat. I can’t be the only person stoking our flame.

Last night with Jason was a different story. That was what I wanted. We talked and it was immediately game on. I saw him looking lost at the sinks and showed him where the bin was. Introduced myself and looked him over. I fucked him with my eyes and he fucked me back. We sat on a couch and I was in the middle of two hot men that I wanted to feel me up at the same time. He eyed my O ring necklace and spoke to Leo. “So how did you two meet? Through work? Did you just spot her walking around with this thing on?” and then he touched my neck. With one finger, very lightly. The light touching and talking made so much difference. I got wet easily. Usually there’s a lot of frustrated burrowing and reaching for lube.

“That would be hilarious if so,” replied Leo. He grabbed me playfully. “But no. Through an app,” “Thank God for the Internet” I offered. I’d had two vodka sodas and was turning into my sex kitten self. Leo was touching me and I could feel the heat of his hands, but Jason and I couldn’t stop looking at each other. All three of us worked in education. Being a slut is fun and dare I say empowering sometimes, when you’re in an environment that warrants it. My ability to flirt with new men has improved in leaps and bounds.

Which is really how this whole chapter started in my late twenties- exposure therapy to men. It’s not that they scared me, I just had no idea how to speak to them. Most of my understanding of how intimate relationships worked came from my parents’ unhappy marriage. I had no good models for romantic love and so it didn’t seem like something me or any heterosexual woman should bother pursuing. Of course this leads to some level of isolation and loneliness. The human want for companionship and  love remained- but I didn’t know how to engage with the objects of my desire. I did desire, in buckets. I just didn’t know how to pursue it. There were very little of my thoughts and beliefs surrounding romantic love that were positive ones. All I knew is that I yearned for it despite myself.

Going to a sex party is immersing yourself in a tank of horny straight men. The first time I became cognizant of a man looking over my body out of lust, it felt like understanding a new word in a language I was trying to learn. It’s not a language I was used to speaking, but I picked it up quickly. I first started doing it as a silent test with myself- are there people of the opposite sex who are physically attracted to me? Using dating apps was a similar game. It shocked me that anyone would be interested in me; I needed empirical evidence that this might be the case. This might be why many people who shouldn’t be using them use dating apps. The validation feels good even if you’re in an otherwise monogamous relationship.

Now I’m at a stage where I’m more purposeful. That doesn’t necessarily mean less. More aware of my wants and so able to distinguish what I don’t want.

I was sandwiched between Leo and Jason and it felt good. Other things were kinda shitty but at least I could make this happen for myself. Thank fuck for physical contact. It made me woozy with happiness when Jason said “You look extremely sexy in that outfit tonight” and Leo replied “I know, right? I helped her pick it out”. I'm writing this now and giggling in glee. I knew there was an idiot grin on my face and I couldn’t wipe it off. Hedonism isn’t a bad thing if it really does make you happy.

Then we were upstairs and Leo was his bossy self and I let myself melt into the sensations. “She likes being choked, just lightly,” he said. “She likes being made to gag”. I felt a collegiate closeness between us. Jason and I came when he was fucking me, Leos hand wrapped around my neck. I’d heard him whispering filthy nothings in my ear but the roar of pleasure drowned out my perception. After the initial wave in the come down I was vaguely aware people were watching. “Please take notes,” I heard a woman say. It was so fucking silly but I was smiling hard, trembling a little. I could hear Jason giving an airy laugh above me. He had a perfect cock: thick, curved.

I’ve been going back and forth on truly getting rid of every trace of my personal self online. I no longer have Facebook, Instagram and Reddit. They weren’t ways for me to write so they didn’t hold much over me. This blog and the newsletter remain. I think about getting rid of both on occasion. The thought with most things I do is “What worth will this bring?”. I struggle to calculate what the worth of this much self reflection is, this much time sunk into revealing more and more of my intimate life to an ocean of strangers. The compulsion to write about my life for the purpose of clearing my head is one I’ll have until I die. But not all writing needs an audience.

#queue

[ryu-skies]

dispute

Ren helps C retrieve his belongings from Zane. (3.6k)

C stands outside of the familiar double door entrance to Zane’s penthouse, feeling overwhelmed by a plethora of memories he’s since suppressed. He hesitates and Ren seems to notice, placing his hand on C’s shoulder.

“We can leave, you know.” Ren squeezes C’s shoulder reassuringly and C shoots him a nervous look.

“I know… But I think this will be good for me in a way. I can get what’s left and finally be able to move on.”

Ren nods, though not looking too convinced, and supports C anyway. He lets C take his time until he’s ready and knocks on the door, rolling back and forth on his heels anxiously as they wait. After what feels like an eternity, the door opens. There stands Zane in his usual attire, wearing a pristine button down free of wrinkles and a shiny, expensive looking watch. He looks down on the two boys, an intimidating smile on his face.

“Hello C. It’s been a while.” Zane’s gaze flicks to Ren, expression unwavering. “I see you brought company.”

Ren squints up at the man, not bothering to fake any smiles.

“Zane… This is Ren. I feel like it’s better for the both of us to have someone else present.”

C’s voice is softer, smaller, when he talks to Zane, Ren notices. Almost as though he was scared.

“I understand. You’re both welcome to come in. C, I’ve gathered most of your things in my closet— I’m sure you remember where that is.” Zane looks Ren straight in the eyes as he says the last part.

“Um, can we talk for a moment first? …Privately?” C glances towards Ren. “I’m sorry, Ren. It’ll be quick, I promise.”

Ren stiffens, biting at the inside of his cheek. “It’s fine. I’ll be here until you’re finished.”

C shoots Ren an apologetic look as he steps inside and Zane shuts the door, leaving Ren to wait outside. Zane smiles at C, expression warm but misleading.

“It’s just us now,” He speaks softly and C shifts uncomfortably. “Almost like old times.”

“Zane…” C bites his lip, willing himself to meet Zane’s eyes. “Please don’t tell Ren about our arrangement. I told him we met normally and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Zane raises his eyebrows, lips twitching upwards. “Oh? Why shouldn’t I? Are you and him romantically involved?”

C shakes his head, hands starting to tremble. “No, I just don’t want him to know that you paid me. I don’t want him to see me that way.”

Zane steps into C’s space, finger hooking under his chin to lift C’s head. He leans in closer and C can’t tear his eyes away from Zane’s even as he feels his stomach turn at the thought of Zane kissing him.

“Ask nicely.” Zane commands, breath ghosting over C’s lips.

“Please,” 

Zane tsk’s, eyes narrowing.

“...Sir.” C finishes quietly, cheeks burning in humiliation. It hurts him to say something that brings back memories he’s buried deep in the back of his mind, but he’s desperate to hide his past from Ren.

“Good boy.” Zane releases C, stepping back. 

He opens the door before C can process, causing Ren to stop his pacing on the other side. Ren immediately picks up on C’s discomfort and steps forward to rest his hand on C’s back. C jumps at the contact, incapable of facing Ren with the guilt running through him.

“C, are you okay?”

“All good, yeah!” C blurts out, making a hasty exit as he heads further into Zane’s house to retrieve his things, not even bothering to remove his shoes. “I’m gonna go… get the stuff.”

Ren watches C as he hurries off into a hallway, crossing his arms. “What did you say to him?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Zane smiles, pulling the door shut behind Ren. Ren has to look up at him when he talks and it pisses him off.

“He’s told me all about you.” Ren glares up at Zane, untrusting. 

“Oh? And what did he tell you?” 

“Enough to know that you’re a shitty person.”

“Is that so?” Zane laughs, unaffected by Ren’s insult. “Did he tell you that our relationship ended because he wanted to pursue other people? That his promiscuous behavior brought what we had to an end?” 

It’s an incredibly twisted version of the truth, but Ren doesn’t know that. He grits his teeth as Zane continues to egg him on.

“He’s always been such a slut, you know. There were so many times I found him in bars absolutely wasted and dressed like a whore with his cleavage out and skintight pants. He made it so easy - it’s almost like he wanted men to take advantage of him. In fact, he probably let a few have their way while we were still dating.”

His words hit like a knife and Ren snaps, shoving Zane backwards. “ Don’t fucking talk about him like that.”

Zane is caught off guard but reacts quickly, pulling Ren forward by his collar and slamming him back hard against the door, knocking the breath out of him. He lets go and leans in, smug. “I don’t know why you care so much. It’s not like he’s your boyfriend. You think you know him but he’s hiding so many secrets from you. Ask him yourself, he’s probably whoring himself out online.”

“Fuck you.” Ren pushes hard against Zane’s chest and swings, narrowly missing his face. His fist collides with Zane’s glasses and they’re knocked off, hitting the floor loudly. Ren fists Zane’s shirt but Zane doesn’t move, still smiling.

“What the fuck is going on?”

C returns with a duffle bag on his arm, standing in front of Zane’s broken glasses. He takes in the scene with a frustrated look on his face, eyes flicking between Ren and Zane.

“Ask your boyfriend.” Zane untangles Ren’s hand from his shirt, brushing the fabric back into place.

“C, I—”

“Let’s go, Ren.” C grabs Ren by the wrist and opens the door, pushing Ren out. “Goodbye, Zane.”

C is silent as he walks with Ren towards the elevator and Ren figures he’s in the clear from upsetting C. Unfortunately for him, C waits until they’re out of earshot in front of the elevator and drops his duffle bag to the floor, getting right into it.

“What the fuck, Ren? I leave for one second and you’re trying to fight my ex?”

“You should’ve heard the things he was saying, C. No one should be allowed to talk about you like that.”

“He’s my ex, Ren, of course he’s going to say bad things about me. That doesn’t mean it’s your place to get involved. You don’t have to get into fist fights to defend my honor.”

Ren scoffs, arms crossing. “So I’m just supposed to stand there and listen to him talk shit about you?”

“I don’t know, maybe! I thought you were more mature than this.”

“More mature? He was calling you names, saying that you were asking to be used by men you don’t know, all kinds of awful shit!”

“And you fell for it? You didn’t even think for a second that he was making all that up just to get a rise out of you? It didn’t even look like he was trying to fight back.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ren is floored that C is choosing to defend Zane despite the older man being the one to start their scuffle. “You’re fucking joking, right?”

C stares at him, upset. “No, Ren. I’m not. I didn’t expect you to be the type of person who uses violence to deal with things.”

Ren curses under his breath. “Well maybe I have limits, C. Maybe sometimes there’s things that cross the fucking line for me, okay?”

“That doesn’t mean you can just—”

“C.” 

The boys instantly stop arguing when they hear Zane’s voice and C whips around, seeing the tall man looking as smug as ever. 

“You forgot this.” He presses a small velvet box into C’s hand, gazing straight into his eyes. “There’s no point in me keeping it since it was custom made for you. Have a lovely day, boys.” With that Zane leaves, a little too pleased with himself. 

C opens the box and stares down at the same shiny ring he saw months ago, feeling sick. He’s too distracted to get back into the argument so Ren steps forward to see what has him frozen, regretting it as soon as he lays eyes on the jewelry. 

“A fucking engagement ring?”

C immediately looks up. “Ren—”

“No, I really don’t want to know why your ex is giving you an engagement ring. You never mentioned that you were engaged before.” Ren slams the button to summon the elevator, back facing C. “Guess it wasn’t fucking important.”

C is silent for a moment, feeling bad before he reconsiders, now annoyed. “I don’t know why you’re so bent out of shape over this. I dated him for over a year and you’re acting like I cheated on you or something. We’re not even dating, Ren, get over yourself.”

Ren stiffens at C’s harsh words and the elevator dings, opening. He picks up C’s duffle and steps inside. “I can’t do this right now. Just get inside.”

C huffs and follows, arms crossed as they ride to the lobby in silence. The tension is thick and follows them as they exit. C half expects Ren to leave him, but follows him to his car anyway when he doesn’t drop C’s bag. 

“I can call an Uber if this is such torture to you.” C mumbles. 

Ren ignores him, throwing the duffle in the back seat. He starts his car and C gets in, the door shutting loudly behind him. “I’m driving you home.” It’s all Ren says for the entire drive, the two both too stuck in their own heads to talk knowing that it’ll lead to more arguing. 

When Ren reaches C’s apartment C gets out as soon as he can, retrieving his bag from the back seat and slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t say anything as he walks away, too caught up to notice he left the ring on the passenger's seat. Ren notices it later once he gets home, staring at it for much too long in his car before pocketing it and bringing it inside. 

… 

“You okay, buddy?” Dae asks, having just witnessed Ren enter their apartment in the loudest way possible by slamming the door and throwing his keys down. He glances over the back of the couch, watching Ren struggle to get his shoes off. He pushes them to the side when he finally succeeds, walking over to Dae and throwing the velvet box at him. Dae catches the box and opens it, whistling as he admires the ring and its many diamonds.

“Sheesh, who’s the lucky person? You must’ve spent a fortune on this.”

“C, apparently. Or he was, since his fucking awful ex made sure to give this to him in front of me.” He sits down on the couch next to Dae, collapsing against the soft cushions. “I can’t believe he almost married that asshole. And I can’t believe he never fucking mentioned it to me.”

Dae removes the ring, slipping it onto his ring finger. It doesn’t fit, stopping at his second knuckle. He stares in awe at the way it shines in the light. “Imagine if I got married. That would be so weird, wouldn’t it?”

Ren rolls down onto his back, pushing against Dae’s shoulder with his foot. “Why wouldn’t he mention it to me? I thought he told me everything back then. Do I not mean enough to him?”

“Do you think I’d look good in a white tux?”

“Can you fucking listen to me? I’m having a crisis over here.” Ren kicks Dae’s head, forcing him to pay attention. “And put that ring away, it’s not yours.”

“Alright, alright, we can talk about your issues. Get your foot away from my face, please.” Dae returns the ring to its box and sets it on the coffee table, letting Ren rest his legs in his lap. “So C was engaged and you’re upset because why?”

“Because he didn’t tell me.”

Dae pats Ren’s legs, humming in thought. “How long did he date this guy?”

“I don’t know, like a year or something? Maybe longer?”

“Okay. Have you considered that he didn’t mention it because they’re not engaged anymore?” Ren is silent, so Dae continues. “Look, if I were C and had a failed engagement, I probably wouldn’t be telling anyone about it. Shit, I’d be ashamed to tell you that kind of thing and you’re my closest friend.”

“But it’s different with C. We’ve told each other everything. He’s… special,” Ren sighs, staring up at the ceiling.

“Rennie, my sweet Rennie. Are you sure you’re not just mad because you’re jealous it wasn’t you who was engaged to C?”

“That’s–!” Ren sits up, mouth open as he tries to find the words to deny it. Dae gives him a knowing look and he folds. “Okay, maybe.”

“I know, I’m always right.” Dae grins, poking at Ren’s leg. “You’re totally still in love with him, aren’t you?”

Ren looks away, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks. “...Yeah. We did just have a terrible argument over his ex, though.” He flops back down onto the couch with an annoyed sigh. “That asshole started a fight with me knowing that C would come back at the wrong time and now C thinks I was just waiting for a moment to beat the shit out of his ex.”

“...Were you?”

“Maybe, but that’s besides the point. He actually defended his ex in front of me despite all the terrible things he’s done to him and now he’s mad at me. It makes me sick.”

Dae hums softly. “Just give him time, Ren. He’ll come around eventually. And when he does, don’t give him a hard time about the engagement thing, okay?”

Ren closes his eyes, rubbing at his face. “Okay.”

…

C finally works up the courage to visit Ren after two days of radio silence. He realizes some of the things he was saying were unnecessarily mean when Ren probably just wanted the best for him. Besides, it wasn’t like they never dated and he was the one to break Ren’s heart back then—Ren clearly still saw him in a positive light, enough to want to defend C. 

C knocks on the door to Ren’s apartment and after a few moments of awkwardly waiting and praying he got the address right the door finally opens. Ren stares at him with a blank expression, looking exhausted and disheveled in a plain tee and sweatpants. 

“Yes?” He sounds tired too. 

“Um, can I talk to you?” C shifts in place, used to a very happy and enthusiastic Ren. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s what we’re doing.” Ren is clearly still upset and C can’t blame him.

“Can I come in, maybe? I brought apology snacks.” C lifts the bag in hand, hoping it’s enough to bribe his friend. 

“Oh my god, C?! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you in person, holy shit. I didn’t know you were visiting today.” A familiar voice calls from the inside of the apartment and Ren sighs audibly. He turns around, shooting his roommate a death glare. 

“Now is not the time, Dae.”

“Right, sorry. I’m gonna go do that thing in my bedroom and not say hi to C. Got it.” There’s the sound of shuffling and Ren finally steps aside, defeated. 

“Come in.”

C enters Ren and Dae’s apartment and looks around, wishing he was visiting under better circumstances. It’s a small but cozy place, decorated with many plants; there were hints of Ren and Dae’s personalities and interests everywhere from the Evangelion figures used as casual decoration on the coffee table to the set of Twice photocards forgotten on the kitchen counter. It’s a charming place and C hopes he’ll be able to come back in the future if all goes right. He’s only exchanged addresses with Ren in the past, since they would usually spend time at C’s place instead. 

C removes his shoes and leaves them at the entrance, making his way to the dining table. Ren walks past him into the kitchen and returns with two glasses of water, passing one to C as he sits facing C expectantly. 

“Um, I made you brownies.” C removes the glass container from the bag and pushes it towards Ren. “I think I burnt them a little though.”

“Uh huh.” Ren ignores the brownies, clearly waiting for an apology. 

“Look, I’m sorry, Ren,” C sighs, sitting back in his chair. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you when you were clearly just looking out for me… and honestly Zane probably did something that warranted you to act like that. He is an awful person, after all.”

Ren nods, still blank faced as he takes in C’s words. “…For the record, that bastard put his hands on me first and shoved me against his door.”

C glances at Ren with worry, all too familiar with being in that situation. His hands ball into fists on his lap. “I believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t at the time.”

Ren sighs, looking away. “I will never be able to listen to someone say horrible things about you and ignore it. You’re kind of special to me, C. So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t immediately jump to defend your awful ex.”

“I know, I don’t know what I was thinking…”

The boys are silent for a moment and C wraps his hand around his glass, looking down into the water. 

“And about the ring…”

Ren shakes his head. “No, you don’t have to explain it. You were right, it’s not my business if you were engaged and I don’t really have the right to be mad about it.”

C reaches out to grab Ren’s wrist, making Ren look at him. Ren’s facade cracks a little, sadness peeking through. “Ren, we weren’t engaged. When we were together, I found the ring and it was the final sign for me to leave him. Nothing scared me more than the thought of committing to a life with him. I think he was hoping it would make me want to go back to him for whatever reason, but he doesn’t know I’ve seen it before.”

“Ah… I can’t lie, I’m a little relieved to hear that.”

“I just didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.” C squeezes Ren’s arm gently, sighing. “Looking at that ring always  makes me feel sick… It l brings me back to the lowest point in my life.”

Ren nods, glancing at where C’s hand rests on his wrist. “Well at least you can move forward now. Unless there’s something else you forgot at his obscenely large penthouse.” Ren reaches for the container of brownies, muttering under his breath. “Dude is clearly compensating for something.”

C shakes his head, watching Ren lift a brownie and examine it. “No, I don’t want to see him ever again. Even if I left my wallet there I’d just cancel all the cards and order new ones.”

Ren hums in response, taking a bite of the brownie. His nose scrunches a little as he chews, doing a poor attempt at masking his emotions. “These are… good…”

“You don’t have to lie. You know I suck at baking.” C takes the brownie from Ren’s hand and breaks off a small piece for himself. He pops it in his mouth and is instantly met with a brownie that tastes too strongly of bitter cocoa powder. He sets the brownie back on the pile and shakes his head, forcing himself to swallow the bite. “Yeah, maybe we skip those.”

“It was a nice gesture.” A small smile finally finds its way onto Ren’s face and C feels relief just by seeing it. “I appreciate the attempt.”

“Any time. …So are we okay now? Not talking to you for 2 days felt kinda awful.”

“Yeah, I think we’re good. I said what I needed to say. I didn’t really get much sleep these past few days either.” Ren yawns, brushing back his hair. “Since you’re already here we can watch a movie if you want.”

C smiles, happy. “I’d like that.”

… 

Later, Dae finally exits his room on his way to work, being cautious as he walks into the common space. He’s unsure if Ren and C are still on bad terms and half expects to find Ren stewing in his own anger and self pity on the couch like he’d been doing the past few days. 

“Rennnnnn?” He calls out, drawing out Ren’s name in a curious tone. 

He receives no answer and moves toward the couch to investigate, following the noise of a movie still running on the tv. He peeks over the couch and instead of finding his roommate alone he finds Ren and C cuddled under a blanket, fast asleep. C is lying on top of Ren, head fit snugly against his chest and arm around his torso while Ren’s hand lies buried in his silver hair. Dae grins and takes his phone out to snap a picture, making a mental note to tease Ren about it later. 

“I’ve missed this,” he mumbles softly to himself as he gathers his keys and pulls his shoes on, heading out quietly.

#cren #fic

[thedupshadove]

It was probably the better writing decision in terms of likability to not have Doofenshmirtz treat his failed marriage as another Backstory, but still...for somebody whose particular issues are so heavily defined by loneliness and rejection, to have actually managed to find someone willing to marry you, to be in something like a happy relationship for (?) years, only for it to ultimately fall apart...that can't have helped, can it?

That doesn't make it Charlene's fault, of course, I'm just...Thinking About It.

#phineas and ferb #heinz doofenshmirtz #the handful of times we see him pursue a romantic relationship he seems so scared and desperate and earnest #was that what killed it with Charlene? was he too needy? #did he keep trying to build Romantic-Evening-Inators because he had latched onto inventions as the only thing he did well? #and he was so desperate for this relationship to work and keep working? #thinking about the parallels between Doof and Phineas--remember Isabella's birthday and the haunted house and the rainbow-inator? #trying to impress/do right by a girl? Gotta Go Big

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Stella and Stolas with the male Imp Overlord

Stella and Stolas with male Imp Overlord

When you, an Imp achieved your overlord status, lets just say that was something of an issue in the world of nobility.

Imps have always been the Hells servant class, every great dynasty and empire have been built off their backs. They were always meant to be ruled over, Not rule themselves.

But with your ascension to Overlord-ship, the pair found they had a very difficult desicion to make.

They could publicly oppose you. They were sure many of there fellow nobles would follow their lead, doing the same and under their banner, they could form a formidable opposition.

The only problem with that, is while they and there allies may oppose you, their enemies would be more then happy to support you. Whether that be directly or in the shadows.

And give the fact you, an Imp, had already achieved Overlord status, the last thing they needed was you against them, with the backing of disgruntled nobility.

So they did only other viable option. They got closer to you.

They formed an alliance with you in hopes of discovering what made you so unique. As well as ensuring you weren't an enemy.

You would initially be very suspicious of the pair.

Royalty had kept Imps down there entire existance, exploiting and enslaving them sing lucifers rebellion.

So you'd naturally have little, to no trust in the pairs intentions.

But as much as you distrusted the two, doing business with them was jus too beneficial to pass up, something the two went to lengths to ensure.

As the couple expected, in only a short period of time, you became even more powerful, amassing further wealth and territory.

And with this development, the two were quite happy there gamble had paid off. With their family becoming your largest business partner and as such benefited greatly from your prosperity.

As your business with the two increased, you'd slowly find yourself trusting the pair more, the two eagerly wanting to build on that.

And well, stolas being stolas, we all know he just couldn't help himself.

Being around such a domineering male Imp, one that spoke his mind and took shit from nobody. The way you didn't care in the slightest about his title and would tell him as much to his face.

Well, I think it's safe to say, he'd become Very interested in you, very quickly.

You wouldn't really mind Stolas.

You could tell he really didn't care much for politics, or the divide between hellbornes and royalty. He was just in it for a good time as well as securing his families continued survival. You could respect that.

Really the problem would be Stella.

It's fairly obvious she isn't too fond of Imps, likely having been raised to despise anyone she doesn't deem worthy.

And while your power and status would put you far above most every other Imp in her eyes, it would take a fair amount of time before she'd develop any kind of real respect for you.

But, given the chance to see just how capable and scrupulous you could be. A part of her would come to respect your cold-blooded you could be.

The truth was, Stolas had lost his blood lust when they were married. But you, you were a beast. Untamed and seemingly unstoppable.

While she initially wasn't fond of the idea of forming an alliance with you, doing it more so out of practicality over any genuine want to associate with you. She couldn't have realised just how good an idea it would turn out to be.

You were exactly what they needed, someone who could do the more 'dirty jobs' royalty often required, not only doing the job in a timely manner, but you always did it exactly to there expectations, never letting them down in the slightest.

The two held a party not long after your alliance began to prosper.

It was a fairly standard gathering of the Goeatia families allies and vassels families, the party working to both appease there egos and allow them to raise any concerns they may have to the couple.

Of course they had invited you, as despite the more recent nature of your power, you had quickly become an important business partner and asset to the Goetia family and they wanted to continue fostering that.

You had arrived fashionably late, clearly unhappy to be around so many nobles, a faint scowl across your features.

Despite your clear disgust, you still paid your respects to the two, thinking them for the invitation.

Leaving the pair you did what one does at such a gathering, you drank, partook in small talk and generally hung about.

But even with your invitation, it wasn't long until some asshat, decided to test you.

He attempted to publicly humiliate you. Pretending you were a servant and telling you, you were at the wrong area, or should be in the back serving drinks.

The asshole ran his mouth. You could handle that, you'd delt with plenty of loud idiots in your time, it was nothing new. But when he put his hands on you, attempting to push you about.

Well. You couldn't allow that.

It was in this moment that both Stella and Stolas saw why they had made the right choice in befriending you.

With a single brutally efficient strike, you dropped the noble like a sack of rocks.

Watching his body fall before calmly walking away, going about the party as though you hadn't just incapacitated one of the most powerful demons in hell.

Needless to say, no one at the party messed with you after that.

When it came to their relationship, she had little affection for Stolas.

She was still very committed to her marriage and family, of course but the once strapping, ambitious and blood thirsty Prince she had once thought she could love, had given way to an unambitious, soft hearted, stay at home dad.

And she just wasn't attracted to that.

But you... you were everything she saught in a mate.

Ambitious. Relentless. Dangerous and insatiable. You had no limits and seemed near unstoppable.

So, against her better judgement, she found herself falling for you. Something that was quite frustrating for the noble woman.

Stolas, would have absolutely no qualms about falling for you. He of course still cared for his family, but you were something else, something he desperately wanted.

The only problem unfortunately, was his family.

But with his wife being so close to you as well, both demons would be at something of an impass.

They couldn't pursue you in fear of there better halves finding out.

You, of course, where not blind to all this.

You could tell the two were slowly gravitating towards you, Stolas being particularly unsubtle about his pull.

And you found it was surprisingly easy to play the two off each other, Stolas was practically drooling over you and while she may try to hide it, you could tell Stella was very much attracted to you.

Stolas would be the easier of the pair to control.

A kind word here, a suductive touch there, a frustrated complaint about something over there and you could get him to do just about anything you wanted.

Stella would be more difficult, as It would take a considerable amount of time to have her overcome her ingrained discrimination towards Imps.

You likely needing to do so gradually, showing her how you were just as good as any snob with a royal title.

You'd need to be careful at first, ensuring that she truly did fancy you. But once you knew for sure, it wouldn't be difficult to seduce her.

All you'd need to do was appeal to her ego and show her your more dominant side.

Unlike stolas, it wouldn't be a physical dominance, it would a dominance of the mind. The owl princess finding your ability to dominate a room without lifting a finger, quite... intoxicating.

So, finding yourself in a love triangle of your own creation, you had a very specific plan.

When the pair of them first approached you, you knew, deep down, it was done out of fear.

Imps were nothing in Hell, and for you, an Imp to become an Overlord, that scared the BlueBloods.

And it should.

But if you were going to enter a relationship with these royals, they were going to be the ones who proposition you.

You'd be damned if you were gonna be the one begging for a relationship. They wanted it, and you knew they wanted it, they'd have to beg for it.

And beg they would.

The two came to an agreement. They both wanted you, but also didn't want to split up their family, so they would approach you together.

It was an awkward affair, in part due to you playing dumb to there intentions.

Stolas, being something of a bird brain, would draw it out, trying put their decision into words, but failing miserably.

Stella would just step in, opening the proposition of a relationship.

You would playfully think it over, already knowing the answer but you enjoyed watching the pair squirm.

You'd accept, the pair releasing a deep sigh before you pulled each of them into a passionate kiss.

However, much to Stolas' annoyance, you wouldnt sleep with them that night, choosing instead to just share there bed.

With a relationship like this, you'd have to spend the first few weeks ensuring there was a solid foundation to it.

Youd mostly do this through spending time with them, getting to know them on both an emotional and personal level.

Youd definitely sleep with Stolas first, taking the prince in his office.

Pushing him onto his desk and taking him rough and passionately, just how you knew he wanted it.

Youd do something more romantic for Stella. Likely having a simple, yet majestic diner before taking her to your now shared bedroom for a night of passionate fornication.

Despite there royal status, you would be the one wearing the pants in the relationship. As you could easily dominate each of them with words alone, Stolas even easier then Stella.

Of course you understood the importance of there image and would take a more back seat role in the relationship when needed.

Youd have a surprisingly intimate relationship with the pair.

Stolas was always open to anything you suggested, often initiating them himself. And while not nearly as common as stolas, Stella would often initiate intimacy with you.

Despite the two being married, Sex between all three of you would not be very common.

As both Stolas and Stella had quite different wants and needs in the bedroom that didn't quite mesh well.

Stolas wanted to be utterly dominated in the bedroom, completely at your mercy. While Stella wanted someone who could keep her pace, if not take control in the heat of passion.

Romance would be a priority for you, often doing your best to sweep them off there feet.

Luxurious dinners, dates on the town, the theatre. Nothing was ever too much.

Octavia would be a rather large bump in the relationship, as on one hand, you were essentially a whole new person intruding on her family, on the other hand, you were a wanted third partner in Stella and Stolas' marriage, you weren't tearing the family apart by being with them.

It would take a long time, and an even longer term strategy, but she would eventually warm up to you.

Never really coming to see you as a parent, but still part of the family.

While life wouldn't be without its problems,

The balance of power being a major source of arguments, as while Stolas was easy to tame, falling completely under your sway, Stella was far more head strong.

As such she'd often but heads with her rather submissive husband, saying he didn't do enough to keep up there family status.

She would often compare him to yourself, something you would always dismiss, having to step in and calm her down.

While you could dominate her husband easily, you'd need to control her in a more subtle ways. Appealing to her ego or planting ideas in her subconscious. Having mentioned when you forced her submission, likely in bed.

So, While it would certainly had its ups and downs, your life with your royal love Birds would be an incredibly love filled one.

Having the royal pair wrapped around your lottle finger, your power and status would grow exponentially. All the while the two would willingly give themselves to you, smothering you in there love and affection.

Thanking you as they made you stronger.

#helluva boss #headcanon #x reader #helluva boss headcanon #helluva boss x reader #helluva stolas #helluva stella #stella x reader #stella #stolas x reader #stolas

[libraryofloveletters]

Broken

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: Fem!reader, mentions of court, shitty description of witness questioning, mentions of loss of spouse, crying, character flaws, mentions of death, cheating and pregnancy. 

Category: Angst 

Word Count: 2.3k

Author’s Note: Based on @venusrosepetal​‘s request! Also, this is definitely not going to be the most accurate court scene considering that I'm just going off what I can remember from watching Suits looool  

----

Idiot.

That’s what he is and that’s why you had to drag yourself to court on a Monday morning before 9am.

Buck decided that filing a wrongful termination lawsuit would fix all of his problems. Bobby had picked you up with a promise of coffee and he made good on that promise. Chim, Eddie and Hen would be meeting you at the courthouse. 

Court started half an hour after the 5 of you arrived, Buck sat to one side with his lawyer and you guys sat on the other side. Bobby was first on the stand, his questioning lasted the longest, seeing that Buck was suing the city, the LAFD and Bobby. Next was Chim, followed by Hen and Eddie, finally you were last. 

“Calling Ms. y/n l/n to the stand” Chim gave your hand a little squeeze as you got up and walked to the stand. The bailiff comes up to you, “Please raise your right hand,” you do as you’re told, “do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ?” he looks at you, you nod, “I do” 

The lawyer begins to ask you a line of basic questions that he asked all your coworkers such as what was your name, where do you work, what is your relationship with the plaintiff. You go about answering the questions, you have nothing to lie about. 

“Do you believe that the plaintiff was wrongfully terminated ?” the lawyer questions you, pacing by the table. 

“No, I do not” 

“And why is that?” 

“Bu- Mr. Buckley was injured and unfit to return to work without proper healing and instruction to do so by his doctor. He was pushing himself further than he could go and he was going to hurt himself again, he lost his job simply for his own well being” 

“Do you still believe this to be true ? Although he’s all healed now ?” 

“Yes” 

The lawyer turns back and takes a seat at the table. “No further questions, your honour”, Buck’s lawyer stood up and walked around the table. 

“Ms. l/n, how do you know my client?”

“We worked together at the 118″ 

“And what is the 118?” he asked you, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his stupid question, “The fire station” you answered, he hums, seeming satisfied. 

“And what is your relationship with him ?” 

“We used to be coworkers” 

“Would you go as far as to say you were friends?” 

“Sure” 

The lawyer paced, before making his way over to you, his arm rested on the stand. Once again, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. “Your statement about your opinion on his termination and his well being, was that said as a co worker or as something more ?” 

“I don't follow, what are you asking me ?” 

“Why were you so concerned about Mr. Buckley’s well being ?” he says plainly, 

“We were friends, I didn’t want him to hurt himself more than he already was.” 

“These concerns.. they weren’t based on any romantic feelings?” he looked over at you, your brows furrowed, a look of confusion washes over your face. 

“Romantic feelings ?” you question him back. 

“Well, I know your late husband, Sergeant l/n, died in a shootout, isn't that correct ?” he asks, looking back over at you as he paced the room once again. 

“Objection, her past relationships has nothing to do with this, your honour” the lawyer called out, he could see that you were uncomfortable. Your eyes flicker over to the team, they seem confused. None of them knew you were previously married. After your husband died, you moved to LA for a fresh start, to let go of the past and move on. You never told anyone about your husband, you only confided in Buck. 

How would he even think about using that against you ? 

“Overruled, answer the question Ms. l/n” 

Taking a breath, you glanced over at the lawyer, “yes, he did.” 

“How long were the two of you married if you don't mind me asking ?” 

“2 years” 

“Hm and why didn't you pursue a relationship with Mr. Buckley when you came to LA? Was it the fear of losing him like you lost your husband ?” 

The entire courtroom went silent after that question, you couldn't bring yourself to answer him. He hit a nerve, opened a box of feelings that you had pushed deep down and never thought about. You see Bobby pull at the lawyer, whispering something to him. The lawyer nods and turns to the judge, “objection, this isn't relevant at all” the judge ignored his objection and overruled it once again. 

“Ms. l/n, was it the fear of losing him like you lost your husband the reason as to why you didn't pursue a relationship with him ?” Buck’s lawyer asks you again. Looking over at Buck, his eyes fixed on yours, “I already lost him.” you say, looking back at Buck. You felt sick to say the least. Buck’s face went blank, any show of emotion that was there was now replaced with sadness. 

“That’s all, your honour” the stupid lawyer seemed pleased with himself. Buck begins whispering to him as you get off the stand, “Court will be resumed tomorrow.” the judge calls out, banging the gavel. You make your way over to the team, Eddie pulls you into a hug. You broke down the moment his arms wrapped around you, he held you close for a few moments before whispering, “c’mon, don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you like this” you nodded, wiping away the tears with your fingers. Bobby turns to you, “I’m sorry” “for what ? It’s not your fault Cap” he gives you a smile, telling the 4 of you to go ahead as he talks to the lawyer about what happens next. 

The 4 of you get on the elevator, Eddie and Hen stood behind you and Chim. Buck comes running out of the courtroom and looks around, he spots the 4 of you in the elevator. “Guys!” he comes running towards the elevator, your body goes tense. Turning away from the doors, your body is facing Hen now. You can hear Chim mumbling “come on, close faster” as he pushes the button a few times. It closes just before Buck reaches the elevator. 

Hen pulls you into a hug, “he's not even worth the time y/n. Don’t let him have those precious tears” she smiles, your head rests on her shoulder. 

--

Weeks have gone by and things were starting to get back to normal. You told the team about your husband after the day at court and they understood why you didn't talk about it. They didn't pressure you into telling what you didn't want top, they simply listened. 

Buck returned to work as of last week, he dropped the lawsuit but the tension was still high in the station. Chim and Hen spoke to him like normal, as did Bobby although he was a bit harsher towards Buck, but Buck brought that on himself. Eddie was furious with him, furious because he lost his best friend, furious because he couldn’t bring himself to forgive him and furious because Buck never once stopped to think about what this lawsuit could and did to the team. 

All was quiet in the fire station, an odd occurrence. Hen, Chim and Bobby were on a call, you were laying on the couch, reading some cookbook that Bobby left lying around. Eddie was down by the trucks, you weren't sure what he was doing but you could hear him grunting and the occasional thud. You just assumed he was fixing something or working out. 

“Hey” Buck’s voice echoed through the station, it was quiet after that. He and Eddie began talking, you sat up and listened to their conversation. It was mostly Eddie shouting and Buck answering him but it seemed like they came to terms, if not back to normal than at least friendly ones, for the sake of the team. 

The sound of your boots thudding with each step caught their attention, Buck walked halfway towards you and watched as you walked towards him. 

“Y/n..” he looked at you, you walked past as if he wasn't there. 

“Tell Bobby I'm not feeling well. I’ll be in tomorrow” you say to Eddie, he nods. 

Buck turns, watching as you walk out the station, You could feel his eyes burning into you as you left. 

--

A knock on the door, rolling over you see that it’s only 7:30 and you didn't have to be in until 9:30. “I’m coming” you shout, dragging yourself out of bed. 

Who the hell keeps banging on the door? 

“I said I'm com-” you shout once more as you open the door, “Cap ?” you yawn. “Can I come in ?” he steps inside anyways. 

“Um why are you here? Not that I mind but like I'm still in pjs and I was sleeping” you yawn again, shuffling over to the bar stool by the counter. Bobby walks around to the other side and opens the fridge, he had brought you coffee too. 

“I wanted to talk, but I brought coffee too because as you said, you were sleeping and I figured if I was going to disturb yourself, the least I could do was bring you some coffee” he smiled at you. 

“Are you looking for something ?” 

“Eggs, I'm making breakfast” 

“For who ?” 

“You, until someone else is here?” he looks over at you, you shake your head and take a sip of the coffee. 

Talk about heaven in a cup. 

“I heard Eddie and Buck are talking again” he turns on the stove, his back is facing you. “And?” “maybe you should talk to him too” 

“Bobby, I'm not going to do that.” 

“I’m not saying you need to be friends but at least, hear him out. I know what he did was wrong and he knows that too. If you don't want to do it for him, do it for the team, we can't keep walking on eggshells around you two” 

“But I'm not asking y’all to do that” 

“I know. You can't tell me that you don't feel the tension in the station. Everyone scared to mention Buck around you because they don't want to upset you and we don't mention you around him because he looks like he’s going to cry every time we say your name” 

Sighing, your hand slides down your face. You were at a crossroads. One side was forgiving Buck and moving on and the other was not forgiving him and never talking again. Bobby’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. 

“I’m telling you this not only as your captain and for the sake of the team but as your friend, because I care about you and I care about Buck. I’m tired of you two not speaking to each other, I just want us to be a family again.” 

“Fine, no promises that anything good will come of it but if it means so much to you, I'll try.” 

-- 

“Heard you wanted to talk ?” his shoes squished into the wet grass as he made his way over to you. You wanted to meet somewhere public, just to ensure that you don't strangle him with the nearly available cord. 

“I did” you looked over your shoulder, buck walked around and sat beside you on the bench. “Why did you tell him ?” looking at the man across from you, you needed to know. 

“He wanted to know about you guys, everything I could tell them, I did.” 

“Everything ? So you told them about Bobby’s wife and kids? Or that Eddie was sleeping with his ex but she died ? Or maybe that Hen cheated on her wife with her ex girlfriend that just got out of jail,” you scoffed, “did you mention that Chim’s ex didn't want him but she got married and pregnant within months of breaking up with him?” 

“I-i didn’t” 

“So why’d you tell them about him ? You know I didn't tell anyone else, you knew it was hard for me to talk about and that wasn't even relevant to the stupid case!” 

“Y/n.. I'm sorry” 

“I don't want your stupid apology Buck, that isn't going to change what already happened.”

All you saw and felt was red, there was no way you could get over what he did. You loved the 118 like your family, there was no you were going to leave either nor would you expect him to leave either. Buck’s fingers drummed against his knee, he was staring off ahead at something. 

“Bobby wants me to forgive you.” you broke the silence

“Do you want to forgive me?” he asked you, looking over in your direction. Your heart broke when you looked at Buck, he looked sad. 

“No,” leaning back against the bench, he sighs and gets up. “But I don’t want things to stay this way” you look up at him. 

“Neither do I” 

“I can't forgive you buck, but I can try to move on” 

“Things won’t be the same” his hand rests on top of yours,

“They never will be.” 

--

taglist: @venusrosepetal​ @advicefromnixxxx​ @dralexreid​ @ssa-volturi​ @keenmarvellover​

#evan buckley #evan buck buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #evan buckley fanfic #evan buckley fic #evan buckley oneshot #buck buckley #buck buckley x reader #buck buckley imagine #buck buckley oneshot #buck buckley fic #911 #911onfox #911 fanfic #911 fic #911 oneshot #911 imagine #911 reader insert #9-1-1 #9-1-1 oneshot #9-1-1 reader insert #9-1-1 fanfiction #9-1-1 fic #9-1-1 imagine #9-1-1 fanfic #9-1-1 fox

[beewritings]

bought a dress n fishnets & they came in! so now it’s time for a little eren smut oneshot thing :’) 18+

cw: little bit of angst, public sex (bathroom)

thinkin of meeting up outside of a restaurant for dinner with your friends & eren, the guy you’ve been talking to for a while, is a part of the friend group! he thinks you look sososo cute! you’re wearing a black dress with white plaid, fishnet tights and white platform sneakers (that was my outfit hehe). he wraps one arm around your waist and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear “you look so pretty, baby” and you give a little giggle and whisper back “there’s more”. you then do a little spin while your friends are talking amongst themselves and you stop spinning, back facing eren, and bend over just a little bit for him to see it and right back up, facing him again with a little jump and a giggle.

you’re not wearing anything besides the fishnets.

his face heats up and turns around to see if any of their friends saw, and turns back around it face you and leans down to whisper yell at you.

“are you out of your mind? what if someone else saw?? not only that, are you dressed like this to tease me or something?”

you giggle and with confidence nod your head, “yup!!”

“eren, y/n, we’re going in! let’s go!” you both hear jean say. eren scoffs and grabs your wrist, dragging you in with the rest of them.

as dinner goes on, everyone is catching up with each other and sharing stories about work, class, overall just their lives. but eren can’t really seem to focus since your hand keeps roaming his thighs, down to his knee and right up to his hips, and even sinking inside his thighs towards the seat he sat on. he tries to keep up with conversation, but majority of the time he keeps eating or drinking his red wine to try and not speak because if he speaks... well they’ll know what’s going on. you’re calm though, you can eat with one hand and tease him with the other. he even tries to put a hand on your thigh, and even to where your core is since there is no underwear or anything with the fishnets. but you somehow quietly yet harshly swat his hand away.

it was clear to say who was in charge. and it wasn’t eren.

“y/n, what about you? are you talking to anyone or dating someone? got a boyfriend, or a girl?”

you look at sasha when she calls your name and answer her question.

“hm? oh.. uh, yeah, i’ve been talking to someone for a bit. he’s nice, cute, likes small personal dates rather than going all out in public and stuff. but lately it kinda seems like it’s been a friends with benefits kind of thing? we were talking and flirting but then it got sexual and now it seems like that’s all it is.. not that it’s an issue, i’m a sexual person and i tend to start the sexual tension first. but i feel like we could be a bit more... romantic? even if it’s romantic sexually. i don’t know.. sorry it’s weird, haha.” you pull your hand away from eren’s lap onto yours, and continue to eat your food avoiding eren’s look.

and he looked shocked. he didn’t know you felt that way. you both communicated about a lot of things, you’ve talked about traumas and past relationships or past fucks, but you have this anxiety in your body that gets scared to talk to him about a relationship WITH him. and you’re shaking as you eat, and he sees that. and you’re nervous to continue on, so you excuse yourself from the table to use the restroom.

you half expected him to follow him, but you didn’t ACTUALLY think he was. he excused himself about a few minutes after.

(“it’s obvious they’re talking about each other. did they think we didn’t know they were into each other? the tensions been high since high school,” mikasa points out.

“to be fair, i didn’t really realize they were into each other until we graduated. they way they hugged was not a friendly hug. it was a FRIENDLY hug,” connie joins in.)

the restrooms were placed towards the entrance, women’s, men’s and the gender neutral one that for some reason only has two stalls unlike the other two. you used the gender neutral restroom, so when you left, you see eren standing there. you give a smile to try and steady your anxiety, but it’s clear your smile holds nerves

“hey!”

“were you being honest back there?”

“... i don’t lie, eren. especially to you.”

“y/n,” he holds your face so gently, “you know we don’t have to be so sexually active, i just. thought that’s what you wanted. and of course i don’t mind whether we are or aren’t. and if you want to pursue a relationship, i like you a LOT and i would love that. but i’d rather ask you when it’s just me and you, not surrounded by icky people and our friends. i’m not a public guy, and you’re not a public person. did you want to continue this conversation at my place after dinner?”

“... yeah, i’d like that.”

eren smiles and kisses your cheek. “was there anyone in the bathroom when you went out?”

“no, why?”

eren smirks and looks around before pushing you back in there, guiding you to the bigger stall. “i’ve been holding out in you this whole night, you not wearing underwear? come on, you’re teasing me. bend over against the wall baby, you’re not getting away from this.”

he unzips his pants and reaches in to grip his dick out. you bend over a little on the stall door, shaking your booty a little, your privates on display for him. he bites his lip and smacks your ass. he mumbles a fuck before going right in. he rips a piece of the fishnets off so he could shove his dick in without the fabric rubbing against it. he doesn’t wait for you to get used to his size, he just aligns his dick to your hole, grabs your waist and starts thrusting. you cry out, but bite your finger to try and silence yourself. he’s goin in FAST, all you hear is the slapping of skin echoing throughout the room, your struggling moans, and eren breathing heavily.

he’s been hard since he saw you bend over before entering the restaurant, so he’s already close to coming. you as well, considering since you’ve been horny since leaving the house with no underwear on was such a turn on for you. so all it takes is for eren to lean forward and mumble i’m going to treat you so perfect, i’m going to show you off to the whole world and they’re going to be so jealous that i’m with the prettiest person ever. fuck, we’re gonna be the baddest and hottest couple out there, and i’m gonna love you so much and his name is echoing in the restroom from you, clenching around his cock. you’re squeezing him so tight while breathing heavily that he knows he’s about to release. he pulls out, jerking it a bit and lifts your dress a little higher and comes on your fishnet tights, on your lower back. your twitching a bit still, so he gets toilet paper to wipe it off but you stop him. this has been one of your fantasies for so long, and you refuse to let him stop it. you stand up, dropping your dress down and rub your legs together, feeling your cum rubbing together.

you giggle, turn around to face eren and grab the toilet paper from his hands, toss it aside and go on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. he smiles, leaning down to kiss your lips instead. you wrap your arms around his neck, to kiss him further. you really fell for him hard, and you’re glad that you know you guys might actually end up in a relationship. you will be telling him everything from there on, because you trust him. you both pull apart and give off big sighs.

“y’all done? we trying to get dessert, but we don’t now what you guys want.”

you both jump slightly in shock, and slowly open the stall door to see mikasa and sasha both there, sasha giggling.

“um... i’ll take a lava cake,” you quietly say.

“i’m good, i have desserts at home,” erens voice booms in confidence.

“okay, please hurry. it’s been over ten minutes and i’m sure every customer knows what y’all were doing so we wanna eat dessert and leave asap.”

you both nod and exit the stall, fixing yourselves in the mirror. you’re embarassed, but eren’s happy, especially since if anything then everyone knows you’re his.

after dinner and after dessert, you get told off by the host and get told that if you get do that again then you both and your friends will be banned from the restaurant. on a good note, you and eren talked about everything when you got to his place and even had slow yet sexy passionate sex.

#eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager oneshot #eren jaeger oneshot #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren smut #eren x reader smut #aot smut #attack on titan smut #buzzwrites

[little-dragon-stories]

It took me too much time

A friends to lover journey for Jiyong and Y/n. Here’s how it all began.

Warning: Smut, language, cuteness overload. Oooh, in the smut part, there is a bit of masochism (not to an extreme, it’s cute. Said in another way, she loves it when it hurts a bit), outdoor sex.  Also, a big fear of storms, the mention of a fire.

W.C. 17796 (of pure hapiness... it made me very happy to write it <3)

Personal note: This is one of my fav gif of Ji. Let’s pretend that it’s him as he’s having a good time with his best friend, okay? Okay!

Sorry for that title and description, I didn’t know how to name it until now, LMAO.

Hopefully, you will love this one. It’s cute, sexy, funny. There is angst too.

Here it is

A double date, 5 years ago.

You were not sure if it was a good idea but you couldn’t refuse to go. It was a gift on a silver plate for your friend, more likely your favorite co-worker. Jiyong had agreed to go on a date with her but at one condition: it had to be a double date. Apparently, his friend Seunghyun was head over toes for you and was too shy to ask you out. It was the perfect occasion for Jiyong, maybe he would get some and his friend would have a chance to meet the girls he was silently in love with.  Well, most precisely, to have a complete conversation instead of the formalities you exchanged when you served him at the café.

You were working in a café where the boys came to relax and eat after their practice At the time they came, the café was almost emptied from the patreons.  They were the best friends in the world, bandmates working hard to pursue their dream in the music industry. They had made their debut a while ago and the reactions were enthusiastics. The press had good reviews of their albums and the fan base grew. They were starting big.

“It will be fun,” she said, “believe me, Seunghyun is such a cutie pie, a perfect match for you. Plus, you never went on a double date before so you can’t tell me that you don’t like it”.

“Okay but I’m only doing it for you. You owe me one girl...”

This is when you had met Seunghyun and Jiyong and got to have a real conversation with them. During the date, your friend was drooling in front of Jiyong, drinking each one of his words, a slanted smile across her face. It was cutely pathetic to witness.  

Because you weren’t in a place in your life to have a boyfriend, you made it clear with Seunghyun that it would not be possible. Oh! perfect he was! He had a beautiful face, a sharp sense of humor, a deep voice and a tender smile. He was just magnificent.  It could have worked, under different circumstances. It really could have.

When it was time to split and as much as they didn’t seem to fit together, Jiyong and your friend decided that they wanted to pursue the night together. Seunghyun had dropped you to your place, you exchanged phone numbers before you left his car. You didn’t fall for him the way he wanted but at least, he was a good person and you were willing to get to know him better, as a friend.

Even though the evening turned out to be a flop on the romantic level, something wonderful came of it. Your friendship with Jiyong and somehow with Seunghyun too. Just for that, the double date was more than worth it.

Present day

“Earth to the moon! 1.2, 1.2! There’s distortion on the line” Jiyong mocked.

“Sorry, I was thinking… Do you remember the first time we met?”

"Oooh! You mean the night I had the worst sex ever with that annoying bartender?”

“Damn boy, don’t be so mean. That poor girl did her best! She was probably so stressed to be in front of you. You were already a sex symbol back then!”

“True, I was undeniably sexy already” he said, shaking his butts but realizing what he just did, his cheeks turned pink.

Both of you laughed. You have lost your friendship with her the day Jiyong broke up with her, 2 weeks after the double date. Because you continued to talk to him, she cut you off of her life, telling you that you were not “on her side”. The last time you heard about her, she had divorced from her husband and was dating an old but rich CEO. She didn’t change at all, bitch was a sucker for money and status.

“Still Ji, you got to know me that night! You won in the long run, man!” you said, proudly flipping your hair.

“Aww! You’re so cute” he cooed, “True! What would I do without that adorable friend of mine that crashes my sofa each time they announce a storm” he said piling up the plates that had dried on the kitchen counter.

“Hey, it scares me okay?”

“Oh! I know you are scared but what the fuck am I suppose to do to protect you? I can’t stop the lightning from falling over your head!”

“YAH! You’re supposed to help me calm down! Not to scare the shit out of me!”

“Girl, you are so much cuter when you don’t have that badmouth!”

“I don’t want to be cute Ji! I just don’t want to die tonight! Did you see the sky? It’s gonna be hell of a storm, I’m telling you” you pointed to the window to mark your point.

“I hope we’ll survive!” he teased. He came closer to you and kissed your temple while one of his hands rested on your shoulder in a protective way. “At least you bought sushi! If we die tonight, it will be with a filled tummy. I have a new wine that will be perfect with it, too”.

“Ji, I don’t like it at all. I’m really scared. Don’t mock me”.

“I know, love! I’m just teasing you”.

Fun fact, you were not that scared of the storm anymore. Well, you were still scared but not petrified like you used to be. But because you had that habit of crashing his sofa and getting those nights in each time there was an appearance of a storm, you neglected to specify it to your friend.

“Anyway, I hope I didn’t ruin your plans. You can go, if you have a date you didn’t tell me about or something”.

“Nah, I have nothing to do that cannot be done from here, maybe just a little work.  Plus, I have to protect you from the lightning with my super powers! What would you do without me?” he giggled.

You smiled at him tenderly. Jiyong was such a wonderful person. You were more than happy that you had the chance to call him your friend. He always had your back and you always had his. It was like that, you two against the world.  For some reasons, each time something happens to one of you, the other would automatically feel it and call right away. It was like a premonition, a soulmate thing. It made you both smile and care for the other even more. 

Of course, when one of you was in a relationship things got complicated. Your partners didn’t always understand that need you both have to call each other on a daily basis. “If she/he is so important to you, why don’t you marry her/him”? You both heard that often.

“Awww! You’re my personal superhero! I like that! By the way, before you arrived, I filled your fridge with side dishes and lunch boxes. I cooked for myself, so I brought you some”.

“You’re a bad liar, missy. You cooked for us, not for yourself only. You even bought us matching lunch boxes last month”

“True… I cooked for the both of us! And true, I bought it knowing it was matching, I couldn’t resist! Don’t make a big deal out of it, it was just too cute. Instead of a bff bracelet, we have bff matching lunch boxes” you exclaimed.

“Aaaaaw! Finally, you admit it was made to match! Thanks hun, I love the boxes and I love even more the food that you put in it”.

“My pleasure Mr Kwon! Let’s shower before it rains”

“ Why do you keep saying that?”

“It’s common sense and commun knowledge that you can’t shower or bathe when it rains in case there will be a storm, okay? I’ll go first”.

You ran to the bathroom before he had the time to argue. You knew what he was about to say anyway. He told you many times but you were still really scared of it. When you were a teenager, lightning crashed a utility pole near your house, causing an electrical fire. The strong winds had pushed the flames and your house was set on fire despite the heavy rain. It all happened while you were in the shower. That night, you were babysitting your little brother and you had to evacuate the house in a towel with him in your arms. The bad association of shower and strom had stuck in your head even though there was nothing dangerous for real. You were doing your best and you were fighting against your fear with all the courage that you had, but you still had to work more. 

You turned the water off, got out of the luxurious shower and sighted with ease when your feet landed on the fluffy bath mat. Caressing the soft fabric with your toe, you wonder if you were walking on something that was worth more than the price of your car!

“Jiiiiii! Jiyong!" when he didn’t answer the tenth time you called out his name, you went out of the bathroom. You were wrapped in his bathrobe with your hair raised in a white towel  “Where the hell are you?” you called out.

“YAH! Don’t swear love. It’s not cute” He was adding the dressing on top of a roasted veggies salad he just fixed for you. He didn’t like it but he knew it was your favorite. Therefore, he always kept the ingredients in his fridge to be able to serve you one. That and your favorite chocolate, your favorite champagne and wine, your favorite ice cream and so much more little things that you cherish. 

“I don’t need to be cute because you already are whipped for me. Plus, I’m not your girl, so cute or not, you’re not supposed to care!”

“What are you saying? You’re the cutest girl of them all, why can’t you see it? You’re my sweet but bad mouthed girl”. 

At that moment, he lifted his head and noticed how you were dressed. More likely, not dressed, in front of him. You were so cute with your concerned face, frowning with an obvious concern written on your face. He turned his head to look the other way around, covering his eyes with one hand and blushing shyly.

“I’m sorry I took your bathrobe but you were not answering me”.

“I didn’t hear you, what is it that you had to come here naked?”

“I’m not naked, relax for god’s sake! Plus a body is a body, we’re all constructed on the same pattern. So please, just calm down”.

“I can’t relax. You’re naked in front of me”

“Not naked, Sweet baby Jesus. You wanna see what naked really is?” You teased, toying with the knot of the dressing gown. Of course you would never open it and flash your naked body to him like that but he was annoying with his conservative ass and you felt a little bit provocative.

“Yah! Keep it for your man, you naughty!”

“Jesus Christ… I won’t undress, take it easy. Anyway, I’m done with the shower. I just wanted to tell you that it’s your turn. Go, before the storm starts, it’s so dark it will soon. I’ll get dressed in your room, okay?”.

Uncomfortable, he didn’t argue and ran into the shower.

He didn’t like to see you undressed, for some reasons. He was always telling you “love, can you buy longer skirts next time?”, “A bikini, are you kidding me? Why not a normal one piece swimsuit?”, “Please Y/n, don’t walk around the house in just a towel”. Jiyong had a vision of nudity that was beyond your comprehension. You never saw each other naked, that goes without saying. And of course, you never complied to his demands, telling him that you were not more or less dressed than other women of your age, which was true. You were not wearing revealing clothes anyway, he was just too old fashion.  Maybe you were pushing it with the towel thing but hey! He was even worse than you, walking in his briefs way more often than you were ‘indecent’ yourself.

When he came out of the shower, you had comfortably draped your neck with a long scarf. You were wearing a Bigbang crop top with the inscription 'V.I.P for life" and short shorts that you wore to sleep only. A long cream cardigan buttoned up to your chin covered it all. You knew you wouldn’t need more clothes to stay warm, you had a big blanket resting on the armrest of his couch. 

You finished assembling the plates with the sushi, served yourself an extra big portion of his salad and put it all on the coffee table in the living room. The wine and the bottle opener were waiting on the table with some nachos, salsa and candies for later. It was usually sitting on the floor with your back leaning against the sofa as you started the evening. Normally you weren't able to finish a movie because one or the other often fell asleep before the end. More likely, it was him that fell asleep. Then, you would always gently slide his head on a small cushion over your thighs and stroke his hair. At the end of the film, you never had the courage to wake him up, you knew that his sleep was precious and that he often suffered from insomnia. You let him in the same position and fell asleep with your head uncomfortably leaned against the couch. In the morning, he had moved and would be in a different position, on the floor. You didn’t know that he never realised the scalp and head massages. Tonight, he will notice though.

Jiyong had the bad idea to put a horror movie at night like this one, when you were already nervous. He didn’t think twice, as soon as the movie you wanted to watch for so long was out, he bought it for you. He was not a bit interested in it but he knew you would be happy.

 “Tadam,” he cutely said when the title appeared on the screen. 

“Oh, thanks Ji, you remembered”.

“Duh! Of course, you kept rambling about it for days” he teased.

“I’m happy, at least I’ll be scared for something else than the storm. It’s perfect”.

The movie had started and really soon, Jiyong knew that he wouldn’t make it through the end.

It was the thunder that awakened him. There was rain, lightning and strong winds outside. Despite the storm roaring, he felt enveloped in a big comforting bubble, cocooned under a blanket like a burrito. Above all, the familiar and comforting smell, your smell, that shielded him with security and pure happiness. He felt as if he was in a dream. He was too comfortable to open his eyes but he knew his head was on your thighs and it was your hands on his neck.

Your hands… on his neck!  

You had slipped your fingers under his nape, cupping it, your thumbs resting gently on his throat. He felt vulnerable but yet, secure at the same time. He felt raw, in the most beautiful and pure way.  He recognised your scent, your warmth, your breathing. What was he doing, lying on you like that? He wasn’t sure but he never felt like home more than right now. A little confused, he opened his eyes and analysed his surroundings.

You were concentrated on what was happening to the screen, softly murmuring advice to the characters in order to, as far as he could tell, not being murdered with a chainsaw.  

“Stupid, stupid, stupid… Girl, at this point it will be natural selection… See, I told you! You deserved it, not gonna lie”

Jiyong smiled at your cuteness. This is when he felt your hands start to move on his neck.Your fingers were making a gentle downward pressure close to the base of the skull, you were stretching his neck muscles and it was orgasmic. He said nothing, did nothing and even stopped thinking. He refrained himself from groaning with pure happiness.

“See what you did there? How could you take such a dumb decision” still talking to the television. He wouldn’t be surprised if you start to throw food at the screen!

In this position, he could see you from a new angle. A “from above’ angle that gave him dirty thoughts. In a split second, that tender moment turned into a hunger. An intense impulse that he felt quite often recently. An unbearable desire combined with an impulse of the heart. It was a strange feeling, he had never felt like that before. 

If he turned his face 90 degrees and went just a few centimeters down, he would be right at the good place to please you with his tongue and lips and fingers… Just the thought of it made blood boil.

“Woah Kwon Jiyong! Stop it!” he thought for himself. “Are you so horny that you will try to hit on your sweet best friend and ruin 5 years of a solid friendship? Damn it boy!” But also, dirty things happened between you, once. Maybe it was possible again… But was it what he wanted, a one shot deal? He was quite not sure about it. 

Before he could stop his hormones from increasing, he felt his blood run directly to his crotch. He was so hard, it was almost as if all the blood contained in his body had decided to meet there. Your fingers continued to massage his neck, stretching the muscles, putting some pressure on different spots. You were completely unaware of his state, naive little creature that you were.

It could have been a perfect blissful moment but his fucking dick had interrupt. He knew it was unfair to stay like that, to let you massage him with the effect it had on the south direction his blood was taken. So, he took one of your hands and kissed your fingers before he sat up.

“Oooh, sleepy head. You’re awake?” you smiled at him with that beautiful smile of yours. You were not wearing any makeup, your hair was messy and your clothes didn’t match but you were just perfect like that. You had the most beautiful face he never saw in his life. How come he didn’t realise it sooner?.

“Hum mmm. You love the movie?” he placed a cushion on his middle to hide his erection.

“It’s good, yes! Are you okay? You’re pale!”

“Not surprising, the blood has left my head!”

“What? You have a headache?”

“Forget it. I’ll fresh up a bit. Be right back” 

He used to good advantage the fact that your attention was again turned towards the screen.  He got up in a hurry, hiding what he had to hide. He went to the bathroom and cleaned his face to cool down. Looking inside his briefs, he sighted! 

“Fuck you Kwon Jiyong! Fuck! Fuck! What’s your problem? She’s your friend, dammit! She is just a sweet and cute girl. What’s happening to me recently? Why have I started to dream of her? Why did I start longing for her? What are those bubbly sensations that I feel when she’s coming home to me?”.

Recently, he had noticed that not only his body reactions were different but that his emotions had changed as well. That he was more and more happy to see you. That he had way more thoughts about you than he used to. To a point that he even refused a date with an interesting woman just to be able to call you on time, just because he had said “I’ll call you before 9”. He said it, he had to comply, right? What did you talk about? Sweet nothings but it was still a wonderful moment. He allowed himself a few moments for the blood gathered in his penis to turn back. He had a crazy hard time getting there. 

Having the sensation that he was not feeling good, that something was not okay, you paused the movie and walked towards the bathroom. 

“Do you need something Jiyong? You are really pale, I’m not joking. It seems like you have seen a ghost” you said as soon as he opened the door.

He was mad, but not at you. He was mad at himself for the reaction his body had. Confused too. He also knew that he couldn’t tell you what just happened because you would tease him for days. Or worse, you would exclaim a loud and clear disgusted “EEEW” to tease him. That he couldn’t support.

“Listen, I’m going to sleep early tonight. You can continue the movie, don’t wait for me”.

Without an explanation he left for his bedroom and closed the door. It was rude but it was a necessity.

You came back to the living room and sat on the couch. Your thighs were still mild with Jiyong’s warmth. 

You couldn’t concentrate on the movie. What’s got into him? You stood up and walked towards his room, concerned. You just hope that he didn’t discover your ‘secret’.

3 years ago, on Christmas eve

After you finished hanging the garlands, you stepped back and enjoyed your hard work, satisfied.  Yesterday, Jiyong announced that the band would not be able to fly to Korea for Christmas. Something happened with their schedule and unexpectedly they had to stay in Hong Kong a little longer before they would resume their world tour. 

You didn’t want Jiyong and the boys to stay in their room and alone for Christmas. You had called Daesung’s girl of moment and Seunghyn’s sister and shared your plan with them. Youngbae’s girl had already joined him a couple of days ago. You would make a little reception for your boys. After all, no one should be alone on Christmas Eve. With the girls, you prepared it all.

“Can you taste the punch? I’m scared that I didn’t put enough rhum” 

“I did taste it and it was perfect” you answered. “Seunghyun will add wine in his glass anyway, wait for it” 

She laughed, it was exactly like his brother to do that. 

“Oh, they’re coming. I’m so nervous” you told her.

In the plane for HongKong, you had decided to open up to Ji about your new feelings for him. Lately you had come to the conclusion that you were in love with him. What you thought was just a mere flirt at the beginning, soon turned out to be much more. It was love, with capital A. You had taken your time to analyse your feelings but it was kind of obvious.  You were just not accepting the fact before, even though you were facing all the proof. 

What is the first thing that comes to your mind in the morning? Jiyong.

Who do you want to hug when you feel the need to snuggle against someone? Ji.

Who’s hand do you want to hold, when you walk on the street or discover a new city? Yep! Jiyong again.

Who do you want to make love to, when you feel that need between your legs?

Who makes your heart skip a beat because of his cuteness?

Who makes you a horny mess when he smiles?

Who do you think will be the father of your children, when you imagine yourself nursing a baby?

 Ji, Ji and Ji. Always him. He was your soulmate and the guardian of your heart. You couldn’t imagine a moment without him in your life. You wanted more. You wanted to take all of him. You had no choice but to tell him, you were not able to keep it for yourself anyway. He had even questioned you about the recent changes in your attitude. Soon, you won’t be able to hide it anymore, you rather should tell him while you were still having control over yourself. You were really scared of his possible rejection though. It was petrifying. But the possibility that maybe he shared the love was stronger and it made you so happy to imagine what you could become together. How your friendship would transform into love. Into love making. Into a deeper relationship.

It was decided. You will confess tonight, in the hotel room after the party.  You’ll deal with the consequences later.

You were waiting for the boys in the suite that you had reserved. It was a simple room that the hotel rented for meetings or private events like tonight. Because it was Christmas, it was available and you didn’t have any trouble making a last minute reservation.

The door of the suite opened on Jiyong’s manager. He was aware of the little reception, you needed someone to drag the boys in. They entered the room one by one. You didn’t notice the happiness on their face when they discovered the 3 ladies waiting for them with food, alcohol and gifts, you were looking for Jiyong only. Unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. Seunghun came and closed the door for more privacy, already having a glass of punch in hands.

“Wait, Ji has not arrived yet”.

His features went grave but his voice remained soft and calm. He seemed sad. He seemed to be pitying you too, his concerned eyes looking at you the same way you imagine he will be looking at his child when he’ll say “Santa Claus doesn’t exist for real”.

“He won’t be coming. He had other plans for tonight, something that popped up. I’m really sorry”

“Is he okay? Where is he?”

“This morning, he met a woman in the restaurant of the hotel. A cute damsel in distress. Well, one thing after another, it turned out that he invited her to the concert. And well… they left together, if you know what I mean”.

Your heart started to beat really fast. You didn’t like the turn of the conversation. Seunghyun’s sister covered her mouth with a hand, shocked, as she realized what her brother was telling you. It seemed that they knew about your feelings for Ji. Were you that obvious?

“Oooh… Maybe she can come here too” you said but it was absolutely not what you wanted.

“I guess they’re having sweet fucking sex” Dae laughed as he looked as his girlfriend, implying that it’s what he will have too, later!

“Woah… okay… okay”

You sat on the couch next to you and held your head. There is no way in hell that you will let your pain show in front of Jiyong’s friends.  But there was also no way you could stop the tears from falling down your cheeks. Without a word, you left the suite for the room that you rented, in case Ji would reject you. 

You were still crying, the next day when he had knocked on your door and entered your room, all excited and agitated like a puppy. More likely, like a man who hit the jackpot recently. He seemed so happy about the night he had spent, butterflies dancing in his stomach as he was telling you how cute she was. How he had spent the night of his life. How he couldn’t wait to see her again. He was so excited and centered towards his own happiness that he didn’t notice your red and bloody eyes.  

“Ji, don’t stay with me then. Go meet her right now! I guess she feels the same way and you’ll take it where you left it!”

“But you travelled all the way here and prepared such a sweet party for me and the boys! I saw the pictures, it seemed so much fun”. 

“Yah! I’d rather stay with your friends and mine, by the way, than staying a minute longer with you while you imagine yourself having sex with another woman”

“Another? It’s not like I had that many women either”

It was not the sense of your word ‘another’ but you didn’t precise it. The word had slipped your lips anyway.

“True, I’m sorry. Go, Ji! Live up for your dreams! Wout! Wout!”  you encourage him, fist up in the air with the biggest smile that you could to hide your sadness. Your eyes were your pain untold and you wish you would tell him everything.

“Sure, hun?”

“Yes, sure thing. We’re taking the plane tomorrow. If I don’t see you by then, here’s my new year kiss” you said, planting a smack on his cheek. You needed to kiss him and hold him, just for a second. To steal him from her and keep him for yourself only, a short instant.  

“Merry Christmas Ji. I love you so much” you whispered. Of course, he didn’t catch the extra meaning you had implied “And may the new year bring you only happy moments, you deserve it”.

“Aaaw, Merry Christmas my sweet girl. May the year bring you a man that will make you happy, for once. You were unlucky lately”.

You laughed ironically.

“Nah, I’ll be okay on my own for a while. Go now”. How could he have unnoticed that you were in pure agony? That your heart had been pierced with a thousand arrows? He was always so attentive normally. That was a good thing though, you prefer him to be happy with her than unhappy with you.

“Thanks, you’re the best friend ever, so understanding. I’ll tell you everything in detail later”.

“... Have fun”

He left in a hurry without a single look back and it broke what remained strong inside of you. You crumbled on the ground, unable to support your own body weight any longer. You never thought you could be rejected by him without having a single chance to say a word. You never thought you would be broken like that. You will need a lot of courage to be able to face him again. But also, it would be worse if he disappeared from your life. There was no perfect situation here, either way you were losing a part of yourself.

“That man is so fucking stupid” you heard Seunghyun tell his sister by the door Jiyong had left open a moment ago. . “How could he do that? Is he blind?"

You closed the door, you didn’t want to hear more.  You cried all day and night, curled up in the bed. You didn’t see Jiyong afterwards, while you were in Hong Kong. He didn’t come back from his cloud, therefore he didn’t come back to you. 

He had stayed in a relationship with her for a whole year. The exact time it took you to get over him. Or did you really?

Present day

You tiptoed your way to his bed and benched in front of him. His eyes were closed, he seemed to be asleep already. In his sleeping state, he was frowning, this was unusual.

He was not but he didn’t say a word, still mad and shocked. He didn’t know how to deal with it, his sudden desire for you. He couldn’t just say “let’s fuck” and then pretend like nothing happened afterward, your friendship was on the line. The only time that something happened between you, something sexual, there was a context. And you didn’t ‘really’ do something together anyway. How can’t he forget about it? How can’t he put it aside and move on? Why was he trying to relive this with his partners afterward? But of course, it was impossible, they were just not you. He realised it now! If it was not that good with them, it’s because they were simply not the good person. They were not you.

“Ji, are you okay?” he heard you ask with worry.

No answer. 

You placed a hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. Satisfied by his body temperature, you retracted your hand with much concern. You knew him way too much to buy his sleeping state.

“Ji, I’m scared, you didn’t seem well tonight, you were really pale. I will sleep by your side to check on you, do you mind? Like we did before, when we checked on my niece. Okay? I can’t guarantee that I’ll be as good as you were though.”

No answer. 

He clearly didn’t want to talk to you. Or was he sick and had passed away? 

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I’ll squat the couch or the bed in the guest room. But the couch is more comfy. Would you prefer if I leave your house? The temperature is still bad outside but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me”

“Y/n, can you jump on the bed and shut the hell up so I can go back to sleep”? his tone was harsh.

Shocked, not sure how to take it, you did as he said and waited there, looking at the ceiling. You were cold but didn’t want to move or even less, to slide yourself under the comforter where he seemed so comfortable and warm. He was facing the other side and you could almost hear him thinking. The cat came in the bed and sat on his master’s pillow. Jiyong sighted, chased A-Ye and turned on his back. He didn’t say a word, didn’t look at you, didn’t move a single muscle afterwards.

It’s his sweet giggle that woke you up in the middle of the night. You had fallen asleep but obviously, he didn’t. From the lamp sitting on the bedside table emanated a warm and felted light. Jiyong was eating ramyeons while watching something on his cell. Confused, you sat up and rubbed your eyes.

“You seem better, it’s a relief”.

 “I just realised something. Remember the other day when I joked about your google research?”

“YAH! How many times do I have to tell you, I did NOT search for blowjobs instructions”.

“I know now!” he laughed.

What happened was that, about 2 months ago, you made a google research on your laptop while you were waiting for him at his studio. You had written “How to give a good head massage” but the research bubble showed everything but the important last word. The word that changed the meaning of the whole sentence.

He didn’t want to believe you even when you showed him the page with explicit pictures of the head massage popping from the screen. He thought that you had just opened it fast, to save the appearances. He had teased you for days with that, mocking you gently. 

“I told you that I wanted to use a new technique when I massage your head. You didn’t believe me”.

“Because I didn’t know you were massaging my head. Now, I get it”.

“Why didn’t you believe me?”.

“Why didn’t you massage my head when I’m awake?”

“I don’t know”

“I don’t know either”

Your eyes met and you both laughed out loud. You were happy to have your friend back, at least momentary. You still didn’t know what happened earlier.

“Will you stop mocking me with the blowjob thing, now?”.

“Yes, I already stopped when I noticed that you were mad for real… Sorry hun, I mocked you. I should have known better”.

“Excuses accepted. Now, let’s forget about it… please”.

He didn’t talk for a minute, you were both lost in your thoughts. You grabbed the chopsticks he was holding and swallowed a large portion of ramyeon, hungry.

“Ji”

“Hum?”

��Why were you mad at me tonight?”

“I was not mad at you at all, I was mad at myself”.

“Why though?”

“I’d rather not talk about it”.

“Okay then, but I’m here if you want to”.

“I know... Now go back to sleep and stop eating my ramyeons”.

“Nah, feed me more. I’m starving. AAAAAH” You opened your mouth for him to feed you one bite. He did and gave you his bowl and chopsticks without further discussion. He had decided to let you eat it all anyway. 

“Here, take it” 

“Mmmm, it’s delicious. Thanks Ji” 

He looked at you closing your eyes to savor the noodles, not a single bit conscious that it would break him. He was so naive. When he heard the little moan that escaped your lips after you took a bite, he remembered everything you had said when you were talking about the ‘not blowjob’ research.

“You know, I talk with my partners, it’s their ‘instructions’ that I follow, not general tips made for a general audience on the internet. I adjust with their reactions too. Nobody loves it the exact same way”.

“Ji, for god’s sake! I told you that yes, I searched for that a long time ago, when I was young. From that, I improved my technique and I didn’t feel the need to search again. I wouldn’t be shy to tell you if I would REALLY have searched for it”.

and later that night...

“Please don’t believe that I’m a pro either, I’m not that good! It’s just that I really didn’t search. You know what, now that I think about it, I should search for it. We never know, maybe I could still improve” with a blink. 

Eating your ramyeons with appetite, you were unaware of the thoughts spinning in his head. You didn’t know that your relation was about to take a complete new turn. That the image he had in his mind right was nothing but pure. You were also really naive.

2 years ago or the ocean event

Jiyong had decided to bring you to Hawaii like this, on the spur of the moment and for no actual good reason. Dae and his current conquest joined your improvised journey and the four of you had flight to the paradisiac island for a whole week of pure bliss. 

You closed the door of your room and went down to meet Ji. He texted you that he was already down there, ready for the beach like you had planned before you split last night after you took a walk in the streets with the natives. 

“Hun, were you able to sleep last night?'' he asked, rubbing his beautiful sleepy eyes when you met in the lobby. You walked outside and sat on a bench near the entrance to apply the sunscreen he handed you. Of course, he knew that you would have forgotten yours.

“Nope, there were people banging in the wall and screaming like if they were in distress or something. Did you hear that? Why did she have to yell like that? I would have shove my dick in her mouth if I was her partner, at least she would have shut the fuck up. It was so fake!”

“Woah! You’re violent! Good thing that you don’t have a dick.  Don’t judge, you were not there. It’s just her way of expressing her pleasure, chill hun! No one is hurt”.

“Her pleasure? For 4 hours straight like that, no change in the pace! Come on Ji, you know better! She yelled all night long, how could that even be possible? No rupture in the tempo… No break, no slowing down, no changes in the play, nothing. It was fake, I’m telling you.  Maybe they were filming porn…”

He laughed, you continued.

“In a way or another, she was annoying. But the bitch got fucked and not me. I guess that’s the reason why I’m so pissed” you added. Seeing his eyes widened, you smiled.

“What? I have needs too”

“I don’t want to know” he giggled, placing his hands over his ears. At this moment, Daesung arrived and sat between you and Ji. Looking at one after the other, seemingly in shock.

“Did you hear it?”

“We did” you answered, ready to complain with him.

“It was sooo hot, right? Woah! It gave me and Shirl a lot of audio stimulations. It was nice, we kind of followed their rhythm.” he seemed shocked but pleased at the same time. Without another word, he stood up and left abruptly. You watched him leave in silence.

“Ji, I hate all the couples in the world. All of them”.

“Someone is not in a good mood today. When is the last time you got laid, I can’t pinpoint it”

“Because I never tell you when I do, we don’t talk about stuff like that… but it was a long time. Maybe last year or something”

You were in a relationship with a beautiful man when you had realised that you were in love with Jiyong last year. You were still trying to forget Jiyong, compelling yourself to stop loving him. It was impossible.

“Damn… it’s been a long time. So, your last boyfriend then”.

“Yep… I won’t ask you since you were in a relationship till recently”

“True, she was the last one. 2 months is long... Wait, where are you going???”

“I’m going to calm my hormones in the ocean. I’m suddenly horny and need a distraction. Hopefully the water will be cold enough”

“I’ll go with you, I need it too”

You entered the water running and laughing like kids. You felt light, like there was nothing going wrong in your life or in the entire world. You felt detached from reality but in a good way. The flowing of the tide was languorous, the ocean was forging its own sea-song.  The freshness of the water was invigorating. For at least an hour, you and Jiyong had bickered and played around, alone in your own little universe. You threw water at each other’s face, tried to immerse the other into the water, tried to surf on a cheap plastic plank that was abandoned on the shore, falling on each attempt and laughing like you didn’t have the chance to, lately. The only time you were out of the water was to take a sip of your drink that Daesung was keeping safe for you while sunbathing with Shirlee. It wasn’t quite a good idea to drink that much alcohol when horny … not a good idea at all. 

“Y/n… It didn’t work!” Jiyong said sheepishly.

“I mean it’s water,  it’s slippery… How could it worked” you answered, knowing exactly what he meant. 

“Water turns you on?”

“Damn… not the water itself. But a wet body against another wet body… I mean… Oh, shit! I didn’t mean that you turned me on, it’s not like that. It just reminded me of, you know… things I did in the past” 

It was a big fat lie. You never had sex in the water. But you won’t tell him that his hot and wet skin against yours made you even more needy than you were before. That the water dripping from his bang was sexy. That his muscular arms, shoulders and those damn abs were giving you bad thoughts. You couldn’t tell him anything like that.

“What are we gonna do about it?”

“I won’t do anything, what do you mean?”

“Well… maybe if we turn our back on each other, we can, you know… relieve ourselves. Together, doing our own little things but not... ”

“I got it Ji, no need to say more…”

Was it alcohol? The burning sun? His cute and so sexy smirk? For a moment, you played with the idea. Jiyong had reserved the most private resort he could find in the country and the beach was almost empty. You could see some people away but no one close enough to see anything that you were doing on the beach even less in the water. Some staff members were walking around, doing their own little things. No one cared about what you were doing. Beside, the water was deep blue and it was impossible to see through it.  You could easily jerk yourself off under the depth water and no one would notice.

“But if we turn around, Daesung will get suspicious, he will think we fight and start asking questions. He’s watching over us, you know”.

“Yes… But I can’t get out of the water hun, my cock refused to calm down”.

“You have a big problem, man. I’m so sorry for you” you mocked.

“You’re not helping at all” he was almost annoyed. You understood how he felt, after all, you were horny too. You were both adults, there must be a solution. After all, he proposed something interesting.

“Ji, you know, your hands are in the water right now and I see nothing. Go a little deeper, we won’t notice your arms and shoulders. Turn the other way around, that way you won’t see me while you… you know. I won’t see anything for sure. Don’t worry. Do what you have to do, I won’t look”

“Are you serious? What about you?”

“I’ll be just fine, no worry. I can wait for when I’m in my room”.

“Sure? Ok, you’re amazing!” he smiled widely.

You didn’t know it but as soon as he turned around, he was not so into it anymore. Maybe it was the thought of doing it with someone that was so exciting. A cute and stunning lady… so sexy in her bikini.

You had turned around to let him do his thing but horny you were too. Not to mention, Jiyong, the man you loved in silence for a complete year was about to stroke himself right now, you won’t miss it so you swan towards him. He was in a deep zone, but still able to touch the ground unlike you. You arrived from behind and hugged him tightly, your arms snaked around his neck, your knees keeping balance on each side of his hips, carefully not circling him.

“Is it good?” you murmured.

“What are you doing?”

“Joining the party” You didn’t know, but there was no party so far. His penis had even softened back to its almost normal size.

“Ooooh….”

Where Jiyong was standing you couldn’t reach the bottom, the water level reached your mouth, you tried and you choke on the salted water. You had to keep a hand on him.

“Hun, stay where you are, let’s do it together, but not together. Is it okay with you?”

“Oh Jiiii… I’ve already started” you purred.

“But you’re holding me…”

“Yes, I’m holding you. I won’t drown for an orgasm”.

“Fair enough… I shall get going too, then”

He was clearly not as cocky as he was 2 minutes ago. You figured that you surprised him with your initiative.

“If you prefer, I’ll leave you alone, no worry”.

“You know, I have a voyeur side inside of me, I love this idea too much to let you go”

“Good, cause I’m a tiny bit of an exhibisionnist… well, a big bit finally” you cutely added, knowing it was not an actual word.

He smiled and looked at you above his shoulder, shocked but excited to discover that spicy side of yours.

“Perfect match then” he stated.

“Turn your face around, put your hand on your dick and stroke yourself… let me do my thing…” you palmed his neck and guided his face the other way around so he would be looking at the ocean instead at you, holding onto his back like a baby koala.

“Lord, help me cause I’m a sinner”

He attentively tried to catch a hint on what was happening on his back. You were holding onto his shoulder with one hand and he didn’t see anything, didn’t feel anything. You were cautious not to make any wave. He wanted more visuals, not that he needed it. Just to add some zest to the experience.

“Are you doing it?” The tone of his voice, his signature soft voice, was the most comforting and exciting thing at the same time. He had the cutest and the sexiest tone ever.

“Ji, shut the fuck up”, you said a little short of breathe. So, you had started, he thought.

“Come on, give me something, love. Are you really masturbating?”

You stopped and this is when he noticed the difference of motion in his back, the difference of pressure your knees applied on his hips in order to stay still despite the waves. Suddenly, it was quieter, this is how he knew that indeed, you were doing it subtly.

“You want me to leave you alone?”

He turned around abruptly. Now facing you, the lust in his dark chocolate eyes was sparkling. A sight that you imagined so often, lightning up his beautiful features for your eyes only to see. Not to mention the sunlight gently caressing his skin. His eyes half closed because of the sun. His damped messy hair carelessly falling on his forehead and temples. This vision itself was enough for your heart to melt and your core to liquefy.

“Y/n, I don’t want you to leave. It’s just that I didn’t know if you were doing it for real, I want, I don’t know… I would like...”

“Don’t hold back, tell me exactly what you want, cause I’m horny here and I need to do something about it” you told him as you touched your thigh, a soft caress along your skin, looking straight into his eyes. You didn’t begin but you knew that the moment to come will be pure. Unselfish. Undemanding. Free.

He looked at the movement of your shoulder, he couldn’t see below that level. He wished he had chosen a turquoise and clear sea to be able to see everything that was happening under.

“I’m not sure of what I can ask in this kind of situation”

“Just if you still really want to, think of us as partners in crime.  We’re 2 needy adults that consent to masturbate side by side. We won’t touch each other, just be together while we’re both having fun with ourselves like you just suggested. Let’s say that everything that happens in the ocean, stays here in the ocean. We won’t remember it once we reach the shore and we’ll never talk about it anymore. Deal?”

“You’re wonderful. Deal”

“Now… close your eyes and touch yourself”.

Strangely, you were not uncomfortable with the situation. You knew that no matter what happened, you would be safe and respected. He would never mock you or judge you. You were free to be and act in complete harmony with your desires, without holding anything back. It was the perfect foundation for a meaningful dirty play. In that moment, your chemistry became an ever-bright flame.

He moved his hand down but refused to look anywhere but straight to your eyes. He never saw that luxurious expression on your face, never heard that carnal voice, almost too low to be heard. He needed to hear you moan. Were you the type to hold back because too shy to be heard? He doubts that, now. He wonders if you were more of a high-pitched sounds or a guttural moaner. Suddenly, it was the most important question to be answered.

“What are you doing?” This is when the now ‘face to face’ thing became more interactive. His piercing gaze was on you, it’s you that he was looking at, no one else. 

You smirked. He wanted to play that game, well you were hell of a player!

“You wanna know how I touch myself?” your voice was a low murmur, it sent shivers down his spine.

“Yes, tell me…” he gulped, unable to guess what was ‘really’ happening under the blue sea. How do you like to be caressed? What makes you cum?

“Right now, I’m taking it really slow and superficial…”

You paused to breathe. For obvious reasons, the oxygen demand in your cells has increased with all the symptoms that comes with it: fast heartbeat, short breath, your senses on red alert. 

 “I’m too excited, the second I touch my clit or slide a finger in, I will cum. I love that you’re asking me. It’s fucking hot” you miraculously were able to say.

“Your answer is hotter, believe me. You look really beautiful like that… So sexy…  tell me in detail everything that you’re doing”.

“I’m pinching my clit, I need to calm down... now squeezing it between my palms, it’s good” you moan softly. After a moment you shivered and it seemed that you stopped touching yourself, taking your hand out of the water to show him. 

“You were about to cum?” he smirked

“Fuck yes”.

“You love to touch yourself with me? You love that I look at you pleasuring yourself?”

You nodded, nothing else needed to be said. He grabbed your free hand, your right one, and nibbled every single fingertips, sucking gently. 

“It doesn’t taste anything but salt, damn it!”

His longing eyes never left yours. Just that, him desiring you, dirty talking to you, was sending you over the moon. He gently guided your hand in front of your core and his came back where it was: on your hip.

 “Jiii… now, I’m scratching it all with my nails, it hurts and it’s fun at the same time… ”

“YOU WHAT? Woah! You love when it’s painful?” he exclaimed, shocked. You were not exactly how he imagined you would be, sexually speaking. To be honest, he thought you were a sweet vanilla girl, one that prefers convenient sex more. That frosted side that he was discovering, pleased him a lot. 

“I love it when it hurts a little bit… I love when it burns… I love when it’s sucked hard. What are you doing?” you breathe slowly between each affirmation.

“Looking at you only, at the moment… I think I will cum in my pants just like that! Hands free orgasm! I bet your clit is swollen right now...”

“Let me see… oooh yes... It’s really sensitive. I’m tracing small lines up and down, it feels good. I won’t last long… I let my nail trails his way up… omph”

Your clit was indeed overflowing with blood. Knowing that Jiyong was watching made you more sensitive than you ever was before. Now that it has started, there was no way out of the game. You couldn't move away from his gaze even if you tried, like he’s eyes have short circuited your mind in the best possible way.

“So beautiful... Do you imagine your fingers to be someone else?”

“Nah! I’m right here with you, it’s already really arousing”

Of course, you won’t tell him that it’s his fingers that you imagine as you rubbed smooth circles across your clit. 

“Ji… It’s good… Now, I slide 3 fingers in… it’s so good… Jiii… I’m gonna cum… Oh lord… I knew I wouldn’t last” 

“I can see it… I feel your hips love… I bet you’re thrusting to meet your fingers, right? … you’re so hot”

You closed your eyes as you locked your hips against your hand, hitting your spot right away. With Jiyong’s obvious enjoyment, the ultimate pleasure hit you. You quivered erratically and in the process you pressed yourself against him.  His wet and slippery chest against yours was enough material for your next 5000 lonely nights. When your mouth founded his shoulder, you sank your teeth onto the trapeze muscle and took a big bite of him. You needed it to suppress your moans. He continued to encourage you, despite the pain.

“Don’t stop now, I’m sure you can surf on it a little longer… that’s it love… Softs movements this time, give yourself some tenderness, my wild flower… softer with your teeth too, please” he asked, cutely and you released some pressure on your teeth but kept your mouth there. “That’s it, moan for me… you make the hottest sounds I’ve ever heard”.

He was right, the orgasm lasted for a little while. Jiyong was holding you firmly against him, his head tilted against yours as he whispered sweet dirty words.You stopped the motion of your hand and stayed like that, holding onto him tightly. Pressing your whole self against his perfectly sculpted body. His soft skin. His melodic speaking voice. You needed time to calm your breath and heartbeat.  It was a one shot deal, you decided that you will take the best out of it for the time it lasts. Therefore, you snaked your arms around his neck, cautious not to touch his middle where his length was probably throbbing. The thought of it made you almost cum again, it certainly didn’t calm the fire that was still burning. Exhausted and feeling really brave, you’ll deal with the consequences later, your nose found the crook of his neck and you nuzzled against his watered and sun warmed skin, drops falling down on both of you from his damped and sexy hair. This intimate and loving contact was risky for your heart but his neck was so prettily offered, you couldn’t resist. It was hard not to nibble onto him. To kiss him. To taste him. To tell him that you love him.

You breathed slowly in his warmth for a moment, your body still trembling softly from the powerful orgasm you just had but mostly because of the proximity with him. The sensation of his strong arm holding your laps against his side while the other rested on the curve of your back, it was overwhelming.

“Your turn, now!” he needed his relief too, you hoped that you will be as hot for him as he was for you.

“Yes love, but can I do something first? You don’t have to say yes. I would like...”

“Don’t ask my permission, it’s our moment and I doubt that you want to do something that will harm me. Just do it”

He smirked, a fucking smirk that would have put you on your knees. A smirk that was never directed to you before. His hungry eyes were half closed but his gaze remained sharp. He was perfect. You felt his hands slide under your arms and played with the bikini top on your back.

“I want to feel you against me, may I?”

“Help yourself” you smiled, letting him play with the fabric of your top. It was so tiny, his fingers were gracing your skin and just that little contact was electrifying.

“What’s going on Ji? Is there a problem?” You teased as you joined your hands on the back of his neck, forearms on his shoulders. 

“Hun, where is the tie?” 

It was your turn to smirk. He frowned, scrutinizing your face. You were preparing something, it was obvious. 

“Remember my bikini? The knot under my boobs is what you’re looking for”.

“Oh my god! Like a bow on a gift! Isn’t easy to pull on a string and strip your boobs naked”

“Han, han!” you purred, with a tone that implied that you didn’t mind the strip tease. You teasingly stroked his calf with your foot. “So, what are you gonna do about it? If you want to feel my chest against yours, you know what you have to do”, you said, defying him.

“Are you challenging me?” he asked as his hands found your neck. His thumb traced a line down your throat and went lower to the swell of your breast. A soft and light caress, almost too soft to be felt. He wanted to tease you too, you were way too cocky and he needed to show you how he too, could be in control.

“Who’s challenging who now? You’d like me to pinch those nipples, right? To rub them between my fingers”

He said as he brought both hands in front of your boobs as if he wanted to grab them. But he never touched you. He stayed close enough for you to feel his warmth, feel a little contact here and there throughout the thin fabric, but never touching you for real.

“I’m sure you have a sensitive breast and that you are screaming from the inside right now. You would like to be touched so badly. Am I right?”

“...” excited at the idea, you could do nothing but grasp.

“Answer me, love”

“Yes, I would love your hands on my breast” you gulped.

“Well, too bad, you set the no touching rule” he winked “But I’ll free them and you’ll soon feel me, don’t worry”. It was ‘his turn’ and yet, you felt the center of the attention. The tables had to turn. 

His fingers slid down your breastbone, caressing your skin. There, he was touching you for real and it put you on fire again. He knew what he was doing, he noticed your shivers. When he found the bow, tied just under the swelling of your breasts, he had fun with the fabric before tearing the cords apart. Very slowly he pushed your bikini top to the side, his eyes on yours.

“So sensitive”

“Remember Ji, it’s no touching and no looking.” 

“You’ll be the end of me, you little brat”

He wasted no more time. With one hand, he grabbed you by the hip and dragged you closer. He turned his feet to the side to move his pelvis away from you and surrendered completely to what was to follow.

“Can I guide you?” You asked timidly.

“Yes, I’ve never tried that… Go ahead, be my hand”.

It was true. He had met willing women before but never playful the way you were. You were a mixture of sexy, dominant, cute and submissive. You loved it rough too, it seemed, even though what you were doing was quite soft. A perfect match for him.

“You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do. Okay?”

“Of course”

“Good… Let’s go… are you touching yourself right now?”

He showed you his free hand, the one not holding you.

“Let’s switch hands. I want you to hold your dick with your left…”

“YAH! Why my left? It’s not the good hand” he interrupted

“Oh, I know that” you winked “Go, now. Good!”

He sulked in annoyance but was ready to follow your lead nevertheless so he had switched arms. His right one was holding you against him, on that he won’t compromise.

“Very good Ji, let’s run your thumb on the tip slowly. Is it good?”

“Don’t apply much pressure on your shaft, keep your hand loose around it. We’re taking it slow!”

“I feel so vulnerable and so powerful at the same time, it’s ecstatic… I want more, give me more”

“ Shhhhh, one thing at the time. Don’t go too hard on it ok, gentle touch. Grab the skin between your penis and balls. Squeeze gently. Use your fingertips, it’s good, I see you love it. Palm it gently while your fingers tickle your balls… good… your face is telling me that we are doing a good job” he had closed his eyes shut. His breathing increased already.

“I need more”

“You’ll have more, shut it. Don’t hold your moans back though, ok? I want to hear your pleasure. Not too loud… that’s it, in my ear”.

“Baby can I stroke myself?”

“No, you can’t! Let go of me, I’ll stay in place no worry, look I’m rubbing myself against you… Good… Put your penis between your palms and roll your hands in opposite directions. If you like when it hurts, put more pressure, roll… roll… roll…” 

His face twisted in pleasure, moans slipping from his lips.

“Never done that to my dick, it feels good. Is this how you give a handjob?”

“I might do it, yes”

“mmmm, it feels so good baby… aaah”

You let him proceed and before you noticed a sign of impatience, you continued.

“Now, if you’ve never touched yourself like that, or never been touched like that, it might seem surprising. But obey, it will be good”

Curious, he opened his eyes and looked at you smirking.

“Okay…”

“Take your glands between your thumb and index and squeeze very geltly. Apply this pressure all around the circumference. Don’t brush your fingers together, it will hurt. Just put pressure. Squeeze... Are you there? Keep your fingers smooth but be firm on the grip. Press firmly.”

“It feels so good… aaah”

 “Apply as much pressure as you can take. It has to be a little painful, but just a little Ji, we want it to be fun”.

The only sounds slipping from his lips were soft moans. He seemed to enjoy the touch. Maybe you surprised him. You hope you did.

“Open your eyes Ji. I want you to know that it’s with me that you are jerking off with. Keep those eyes on me”.

“Of course it’s you… you’re the only one here with me”

“I certainly hope so. Now, circle the base of your cock with your thumb and one finger, only one. Don’t put too much pressure. Are you doing it?”

“Yes…”

“Move your hips back-and-forth. Fuck your own hand slowly, gently… Good job! It’s increasing, isn't it?”

“Yes, I could cum like that”

“Then loosen your fingers, loosen it right now!”

“I fucking hate you”  he was frustrated but he obeyed nevertheless.

“I know you do, I know… I’m so mean when you were so good for me” you took your sweetest voice, your innocent voice. One that he didn’t know you had.

“Keep your fingers loose and pump now, real slow. How does it feel?

“Way too good… but it’s not my hand”

“Ooooh, may I ask?”

“Yours” he said, looking straight into your eyes, waiting for your reaction. You blush, shy.

“Does my hand feel good, around your cock?” you were already back to the play.

“It feels better than mine...” he murmured. 

“Amazing, now, put more pressure around your cock and go just a little faster with those hips. Fuck yourself in my hand”

He moaned, sweet sounds falling from his lips. You pressed yourself against him, your hard nipples caressing him as you both breathed in and out slowly.

“You love it, when I guide you?” you whispered in his ear.

“mmm” he moaned

“Use your words”

His eyes started to roll back, aroused. It was beautiful to witness.  He was weak on his legs, holding still with a solid grip on your hip. 

“I love when you guide me”.

“I can see that you do. Let go of your cock and play with your balls a bit. Squeeze them. Feel their weight”

“Jesus Christ… I was about to cum

“Oh, I know” you teased murmured in his ear. “But I’m not ready to let you  just yet. Are you playing with your balls?”

 “Hum, hum...I never loved to play with my own balls before today…”

“Can you use both hands? Yes? okay. Grab your cock with your fist and stroke not so gently while the other hand squeeze your balls… good, you’re doing good… Stroke again slowly but with a strong grip. Ji, slow down, I see you are cheating. Good… Twist your shaft when you come up, slowly, does it feel good?” His grin told you that he really enjoyed it.

“Yes…. ah… Y/n,  you’re evilish”

His sweet sounds, his voice that you always found so soothing, was now turning you on, it lit a fire between your legs. Again.

“Faster baby, faster…. Now stop”

“What? No…I can’t stop” he continued to stroke, you could tell by the movement of his shoulder.

“No?” 

“Y/n… I’m… aaaah… Argh” he could barely stay on his feet while he ejaculated in a violent burst, screaming your name out loud.

“ARE YOU GUYS OKAY”? You heard Daesung asked from the beach.

“DON’T WORRY DAE, HE WALKED ON A SHELL” you answered, your eyes on Ji. 

The sight of him as he reached his orgasm was the definition of beauty and hotness. He was perfect and so was the moment. His head tilted to the side and his mouth twisted open, he was in a blissful agony.

“aaah… aaaah”

“Don’t you dare stop moving your hand, you have more juices, I’m sure of it. Feel me against you, imagine it’s my hand, mouth, core… Whatever you prefer but keep going. I want you to empty that load… Stroke yourself… continue”

One last softer moan, a great final thrill and he was done. You felt his whole body relax against yours and his face fell on your shoulder, panting. He kissed it gently as soon as his lips landed on your skin. He was breathing heavily in your ear, the most endearing melody of them all. Combined with the murmur of the waves, it couldn’t be more perfect.

You were not sure if your heart would survive this. Not sure at all that you will be okay with him, having a girlfriend later, now that you know how he sounds like when he was having sex. How he feels. How he looks. How playful he was. You don’t think that you will be able to breathe, imagining him with another woman. Making love to her… No, you don’t have the right to think like that… You were just a lost case.

You moved away from him and gave him your most reassuring smile. He cannot know what’s got into your mind right now. That suddenly, instead of letting go of him, you would do the exact contrary. You would snuggle yourself against him and stay there forever and ever, in the comfort of his arms. 

“Thank you, it was… I have no words. And we didn’t even touch!”

“I know, right?” 

“Will you be okay with it? At home, I mean”.

“Absolutely” you lied “You?”

“Okay, good then. Good. Me too.” He showed no signs that it could be otherwise.

Both amazed by what just happened, you walk away from each other. Reality was hitting you both and you didn’t seem to want that moment to end. Neither of you. But you had to go back to your reality now.

You wanted to fix your bikini top but he stopped you, grabbing your hand between his, keeping them against his chest.

“Let me do it, hun. With the non touching thing and in the middle of the ocean, the aftercare are limited. At least, let me put it back in place for you”.

You nodded, he continued.

“You’re okay? Are you always that rough with yourself?” he asked as you placed the triangle back in place, this you won’t let him do. You felt no judgement in his tone though, just curiosity.

“I was not rough today, Ji. I even showed you my vanilla side”.

“What we did was soft, I agree. But the way you caress yourself, and me indirectly, it was not the softest touch. I didn’t know you had that in you. It was nice, I loved it”.

“Agreed, it was really nice”.

He tied the knot back in place between your boobs. After one look to approve his doing, he declared that you were all good to get out of the tub.

“Do you regret it?”

“I don’t. You?”

“Nope”

“What happened in the water stays in the water?”

“Absolutely. Let’s forget it ever happened even though it will be rough”.

 You swam towards the shore gently, side by side, as if nothing sexual ever happened. 

“Do I have a mark on my shoulder”.

“Oooh, that? Oopsie” you answered cutely. 

“You think you’re a shark or something? Jesus, it will hurt for days”

“I’m sorry but not sorry at the same time, it’s hard to explain” you teased.

“You little brat”

“Am I?” You shrugged  “But how are you gonna hide it from Dae?”

“I won’t, I’ll say that I’ve been bitten by a fish. Even better! I’ll say that mama shark bite me”

You both laughed and you realised that he had swam behind you. Snaking his arms around your waist, he said 

“Thanks Y/n, seriously. I won’t talk about it, it’s the deal. But it will be really hard to forget”

“Agreed. Thanks to you too, it wouldn’t have been that magical without you”.

Even though you didn’t really touch each other, you felt connected to him in the most beautiful and voluptuous way. A bittersweet feeling invaded you. You didn’t regret what happened but you wish you could have more of him. All of him. His love, for example. 

Before you parted, the aching to be in his arms began anew.

Present day

When you opened your eyes later that morning, you were laid under his comforter. For some reason, at the end of the night you were agitated in your sleep and couldn’t rest comfortably.  It gave you a weird feeling of anxiety. Was it because you were in Jiyong’s bed? In 5 years of friendship, the only time that you found yourself here was when your niece got sick. More likely, pretended to be dying from a runny nose just to be taken care of by the man of her dreams, the one and only Jiyong oppa, as she called him so cutely. Jiyong was so endearing to watch as he rubbed camphre on her back with caring hands. He was taking care of the sick little princess as if she was really dying. It was touching and cute and adorable. It’s probably then that you realised that he was the man you loved. Damn, it was already 3 years ago, how can time fly that fast?

“What makes you smile like that” his voice was sleepy and soft. So soothing and familiar that you calmed down a bit. At least, felt less out of place.

“I just remembered when the little princess slept here, between us. She used all sorts of tricks to get you to take care of her. Damn, I should learn from her, she can get what she wants just clicking her little chubby fingers. She mastered the art” you joked.

“Aaaw! She was so sweet. It was fun to take care of her with you. I felt like I was a king”

You burst out laughing. 

 “Duh! I couldn’t take care of her, she only wanted you. Jiyong oppa here, Jiyong oppa there”.

You turned to face him, holding your head in your hand. It seemed that he was awake for a little while, he had filled an entire notebook with lyrics, drawings and song ideas.

“You couldn’t sleep”? you asked, reaching out to pull back a strand of hair that was falling before his eyes. 

“Nope, you snore too much,” he joked as he felt one finger grazing his skin. How could such a simple contact could feel so good? Because it was you, probably.

You knew he was teasing you. For some reasons, you felt the need to get closer to him. To cuddle up with him. To show him that whatever happened last night, you were there, by his side. But not knowing how he would react, you restrained yourself from doing it.

“Jiyong, can you believe that in 5 years, it’s the second time that I sleep in your bed? It’s so comfy, we should be doing it more often”

“You… you want to sleep in my bed?”

“Relax loverboy, I said it like that. I just realised that whenever I sleep here, it’s always on the couch… I didn’t mean anything. Anyway. I’ll get going, I have to work in the afternoon”. 

“Already? Normally you stay a little longer. Can you stay a little longer?”

“What’s gotten into you? Last night you didn’t talk to me. This morning I want to let you have your space and you want me to stay. I’m not following, Ji”.

“Well, I really want you to stay. I need to clear up my mind. I need to…” he stopped when your body crashed against his. His hands came to rest on your back, his nose on the top of your head. You felt so good against him with your scent invading him, it was endearing. He knew your intention was to comfort him. He knew you were just worried, thinking that something bad was going on. Maybe that was it, after all. Maybe it will soon be the end of your friendship because of his stupid ass. 

“I’ll stay like that for 5 minutes, then I’ll leave. I really need to get going, I have some shopping to do before my shift. If you want to talk, I’m here. Otherwise, I’ll just listen to your heartbeat and relax before the day starts. You’re so comfy, Ji.” 

You snuggled closer against him. His delicate smell was so familiar and appealing at the same time. You didn’t know where to place your hands, though. Hugging was not a habit of yours. Even less hugging in bed like that. In what situation did he put himself, he wondered. 

“I might have a question… Do you remember what happened in Jeju Island last year? Do you remember the kiss that we shared?”

You froze. You didn’t see it coming at all. Why asking you this after all this time? You coughed, sign that you were uncomfortable. Clearly, you knew what he was talking about. And your little cough won’t be unnoticed or misinterpreted by his sharp ass. He continued.

“Do you think about it, sometimes?”

“No, why would I?” you giggled, nervously. There was nothing funny with his question. “Sorry Ji, I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s not funny. You caught me by surprise”

“I do, think about it… From time to time, I do. Lately, I think about it even more often”

You moved away from him and laid on your back. You shouldn’t have come in his bed last night. You had crossed a line and it could be misinterpreted by him. What have you done?

“Why, though?" 

“Do I need a reason to remember good memories? You know, it was not a simple peck, it was so passionate and emotional. I’ve never been kissed like that before or after. Of course, I will think about it”.

“Well, yes, I do think about it too, indeed”.

Your eyes met his. He seemed sad, desperate and shocked. Something was happening in his life and he needed to remember comforting moments, you thought. Maybe he felt that raw and pure love that you had for him, when you kissed. 

“You loved it?”

“What’s that question? Ji, you’re making me feel uncomfortable. You were there, do I really have to tell you how I felt? Didn’t you feel me? See me? I have nothing to add.”

“Don’t be mad at me, please. I was just… I don’t know. But please, I beg you, don’t be mad at me today”.

“I’m not mad, I just don’t want to think about it, it won’t do any good. Listen, I have to go. I forgot that I have to give a lift to a coworker”.

“You’re running away from me” he said, grabbing your side to keep you from standing up.

“Yes. I am, I admit”.

“Please don’t leave me like that”

“Ji, I will be back, I’m not cutting ties with you. I just need to work. And when we meet again, I don’t want you to remember that kiss… or talk about it”.

“Then, what about the other thing we did, in the ocean?”

“Ji, stop. I don’t want to remember any of it….”

“Why? Do you regret what we did?” he wondered.

You tried to escape the bed but he dragged you closer to him instead. He captured you in his arms and kept you there. You still felt safe and you knew that he would let go of you the second you ask for it. Despite, you didn’t move back. 

“I promise I won’t talk about any of it… But, please. Can I please hug you a little longer. I need to… I just need it”.

He was so emotionally raw that you couldn’t refuse. After all, you will never be able to escape Jiyong for good, will never have the wish to do so anyway. You relaxed in his arms and gently leaned your head on the same pillow as him. He felt all the muscles of your body relax at the same time and you melted in his arms, cute little spoon that you were. Finally, you had let go.

“I lied. Not only do I want to talk about it, I also want to do it again. I want to do it all the time” he said. But it’s your cute little snore that answered on your behalf. You had fallen asleep, in the security of his arms.

“You chose your moment to fall asleep, you little brat” he laughed. 

It was a good thing that you didn’t hear it. It won’t risk your friendship for a dirty play. He couldn’t lose you, you were too important for him. He won’t let that happen. With a kiss on your head, he pressed his legs against the back of yours. Then, he abandoned himself to sleep, too.

Last year, sharing one hot kiss.

With a bunch of friends, you had rented a few condos units in Jeju Island to celebrate Jiyong’s birthday. He had a girlfriend at that time but it’s during this week-end that she had decided to break up with him, telling him that he was “too much to handle” for her liking.

What was supposed to be a fun week-end, turned out to be a blast for everybody except for Jiyong and you. How were you supposed to be happy when your best friend was crying alone outside in the dark.

“Leave me alone, Y/n. I just need some time”.

“I know, don’t worry, I only brought you a blanket, it’s frisky tonight!”

He noticed that indeed, you had laid a big comfy blanket on his shoulders. You knew better than him! He was cold and didn’t even notice. He sighed, heavy.

“See? I didn’t realise that it was cold. How can I notice that she was unhappy with me when I can’t even notice when the temperature drops”

“Ji, I know it hurts, believe me, I know…”

“Duh! As far as I know, you’ve always been the one to leave.Have you ever been dumped?”

“No, I haven’t but I know how a one side love feels like”.

“You never told me that you were in love with someone that doesn’t love you back…” 

He was talking very slowly, struggling with his pronunciation. He probably won’t remember any of it tomorrow.

“I don’t tell you every single thing that happened to me. Listen, I’ll leave you alone. Text me if you need me, I’ll be here in a second”.

“Nah, stay here and share that bottle of vodka with me”.

He had caught sight of the bottle you were holding with one hand. Sitting by his side, you had handed him the precious liquid. He took a long sip, making an appreciation sound when he was done.

“Aaaah! Thanks, hun. The lost cause is happy”.

Judging by his speech and his general condition, it was far from his first consommation tonight. He was wasted. Once again, you stayed silent. You knew he was having an emotional breakdown right now, you’ve been there yourself. He was so in love with that model and he didn’t see it coming at all, of course he was broken. It was breaking your heart to see him that sad.

“You must be happy, right? You never loved her!”

“You think I’m happy when I can feel your sadness with every cell of my body?”

“You heard me”

“Jiyong, don’t go there. We’ll fight and I don’t want to fight with you”.

“Pfff. I know what you are thinking”.

“You don’t know, stop being like that”.

“Or what?” 

“Or nothing. Just stop. I explained myself many times before. You know why I never loved her. But she seemed to make you happy so I was making great efforts not to get in your way”.

“Ooooh, is this why I didn’t see you the last month or so?”

“Damn, didn't you realize that I had been discreet so as not to harm your relationship with the asshole”?

“I told you, I’m too stupid to realise what’s under my nose. She is right, I didn’t take good care of her”.

“Okay, Ji, that’s enough. She was a manipulative woman, she was using you to boost her own career. You did everything to please her and yet she asked for more. I told you all that before but you didn’t believe me. Next time, trust my intuition. I’m never wrong”.

“I thought you were jealous”.

“I wasn’t jealous. I was mad because she was treating you badly and you refused to see it. But yes, you’re right too. I was jealous… I got to see you less because of her and it hurt. You didn’t even notice that I disappeared from your life, it pissed me not gonna lie”.

“Oh no! Shit. I’m gonna throw up”.

He did throw up for almost 30 minutes outside in the parking lot and even after, when he laid in bed. You couldn’t let him in that state, scared that he might vomit in his sleep and choke on it. That night, you didn’t close your eyes, looking out for him. Wiping his mouth after each puke, cleaning the floor, giving him water, meds and fresh linen for his forehead. You did it because this is how he deserves to be treated. With care and affection.

Just before going back in Seoul, as you were about to close the door of the condo that you had rented for yourself, he appeared behind you and snaked his arms around your chest, in a protective manner.

“Y/n… I want to thank you for staying by my side all this time. I know you wanted to try hitting on Jae but you couldn’t because of me.  Thanks, I really appreciate it. And I’ll invite him over for you to meet again.”

“Don’t mention it, it’s alright. And turns out that Jae is a douche, so forget it”.

“What happened?”

“Well, yesterday morning, he came out of his condo with 2 girls under his arms”.

“What’s the problem? If they all consented…” you closed the door and turned towards him. He was clearly not getting the point here.

“Problem is, he didn’t invited ME”

“Ooooh…. I see”.

“No, you cannot get it. You don’t know what it is because you have never experienced it. All the girls are at your feet. You enter a room and all eyes are on you. Women want you, men want you. Elders want you as their son-in-law. You don’t know what it’s like to feel ugly, unnoticed and unwanted. I’m sorry but you…”

You couldn’t finish your phrase. He stepped towards him and held your face in his chest, whispering soft words in your ears while you cried not so cutely. You felt good, thus wrapped in the comfort of his arms.

“We were 4 women Ji. Fucking 4. He invited 2 of them to his bed, the other one is Youngbae’s girl. You know what it means? Out of the three, I was the fucking last choice. How’s that?”

“I’m sorry hun, I really am. But maybe, he didn’t invite you because you were taking care of me. YES! That must be it. He invited them 2 to replace the only one he wanted to have sex with. See? It takes 2 to replace you!”. He wanted to cheer you up and it was working. 

“You’re silly” you smiled even though you knew he was wrong.

You had calmed down, so you stepped back from him. You were normally not cuddly with each other. Not that you didn’t like the contact, it was just like that. His arms didn’t feel uncomfortable but it was not fun either. The whole situation, the whole week-end was not.

As he looked into your sad eyes, he did the only thing that came into his mind. It was stupid to do but he didn’t had much time to think about it, he acted on an impulse.

“Well, now you will be able to say that you were kissed by the legendary G-Dragon”

And he had leaned in, lifting your chin up with his index. 

What he wanted to be a soft peck became a surprisingly hot and feverish kiss. One that normally leads directly to bed, don’t pass go, don’t claim 200 dollars. Whose tongue was inside the other’s mouth first? He couldn’t tell.  After a short moment, he had withdrawn in shock but when your finger traced the spot on your lips that he just left, he had no choice but to dive in for a second taste.  

It was delicious. He melted into you like ice-cream under the warm sun and so did you. He felt like he belonged next to you, and you next to him. It seemed that your lips were drawn to fit his. That your tongue was made to dance with his. That his hands were the perfect size to circle your waist. Not only your bodies were in perfect harmony, that kiss held the sweetness of your friendship combined with a million loving thoughts. It all condensed into a moment of burning heat.  

He had just felt your boobs pressed against him and your mouth against his neck, a delightful sensation, when you heard someone coming your way. Youngbae was coming out of his condo, he would soon turn the corner and discover you. Unfortunately, you had to split apart. To stop that fire that had ignited. That desire that consumed you. 

“Ji, we shouldn’t have crossed that line…” you pushed him away.

“I know. Let’s forget it happened” he answered in shock, not sure about what just happened and why it was not a good idea. It was so perfect, it couldn’t be a bad thing.

“Good idea” 

It seems that you were equally eager to end the conversation. Obviously, both for different reasons.

“Are you mad, Y/n?” he asked later, in the plane.

“Mad about what?”

“Duh, the kiss!”

“What kiss?” you answered, determined never to think about what had just happened.

To this day, you never said anything about it. It was almost like a faded dream. Did it ever happen? 

Present day

When you had woken up after your little nap close to lunch time, you felt reposed and relaxed. Jiyong was spooning you, his arms clutching onto your waist. His warm chest rose against your back at the rhythm of his soft breathing. On your neck was the most satisfying thing that you ever felt in your life, Jiyong’s warm breath. Smiling, you softly turned around to face him, you needed to look at his perfect face. You made sure to be as quiet and gentle as possible not to wake him up. Unnoticeable like a mouse.

When you faced him, his naked legs automatically intertwined with yours. He dragged you closer to him with one strong arm and your hands landed on his chest. Snuggling your nose against his shirt, you felt butterflies dancing in your stomach, threatening to fly away with your heart on the same occasion.  Was the mornings in his arms always perfect like that?

“Mmmmm hun, you feel good” It was not a question, it was a statement whispered with his lazy voice. One that leaves no place to doubt, hatred or anxiety. A voice that could heal a broken heart and guide another out of the darkest places. 

He knew that it was you in his arms and still, he didn’t flinch. You felt so stupidly good that you had to stand up and leave. It was too perfect. Too intimate. Too soothing. Your heart won’t survive this. For the sake of your mental health, you had to leave now. 

“I have to go Ji, I’ll be late”.

“Already? No, stay a little longer. We’re so comfy”

He hasn't opened his eyes yet, still blurred from sleep. He seemed so peaceful, it was endearing. You didn’t know what was going on with him, but one thing was certain, he hadn’t been himself since last night.  He even had shown small changes in his behavior in recent weeks. 

Brushing these thoughts on the side, you moved away from his arms. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in the downward spiral of sadness later, thinking that you will never be his. That he will never be yours. You escaped the peaceful cocoon you were wrapped in and went out of his bed. Out of his house. Out of your own mind.

Later that day, after your shift

As you arrived at your place, you opened your message app and started to read it. At the same time, you took your shoes off by shaking your feet one by one, over the rug in the hall. Right after your shower when you sat on the couch with a bowl of Japchae, you passed out exhausted.

Meanwhile, Jiyong was upside down. He had spent the day thinking of you, your relationship. He was affirmative, his feelings for you had changed, he was deeply in love with his best friend. There was no doubt in his mind. And he had no idea how you would react to it.

He didn’t want to lose you, but the feeling was so strong now that he accepted it, he had to confess. He needed to. 

Unlike your habit, and the timing couldn’t be more paradoxical, you had left him on read all day. It happened once before but it was because you were too busy with work. Why did it have to happen on a day like today, when he was already so out of his mind. Did you feel him today? Did you realize the changes taking place in him? Was that why you ignored his calls and texts? Were you angry? Maybe you found him too clingy. Maybe he made you feel uncomfortable.  He was going crazy with all these questions when he realised that it was already 2am. It was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Sighting, he wore his ‘incognito costume’, meaning jogging pants, a hoodie, a face mask and a beanie. Nothing fancy, nothing to expose his identity. Hopefully, the streets will be empty at this time of the night.

He walked around his neighbourhood, wandering. He could only think of you, what your reaction could be when he’ll open his heart to you. He didn’t want to imagine the worst, he couldn’t imagine you rejecting him, his heart felt heavy with pain just at the thought of it. With the consequences that this could bring, the changes to your relationship. We should not dwell on it. He had to go heart first and confess, hoping for the best.

He realized that he was now in front of your apartment block, that he had been walking along your street for a while now, like a stalker. What if something happened bad to you? Just thinking about it made him anxious. He needed to see you, to make sure that first you were safe and warm and second that you were not mad at him. That he didn’t lose you. But why would you be mad? It was a downward spiral of thoughts. It had to stop.

He entered the building with his key, took the elevator and then ran in the hallway impatiently. He couldn’t wait to see you. To tell you. It was a strong and invalidating feeling, he had to confess. His heart had to come back to normal, otherwise he would go crazy.

Unable to wait for you to open the apartment door, he slammed it open. What he discovered inside broke him into pieces, in the best way possible. You were wearing that same old clothes he saw you so often with. That horrible kit that made him hiss in disapproval each time he saw you dressed in. There was nothing he could do to make you stop wearing it. He had tried it all.  Somewhere along the way, he had let go. It was a really good thing, it allowed him to discover you curled up on the couch with untouched food on the table near you. Your hands were hidden in the sleeves of your sweater, joined under your chin. You were so cute, peacefully asleep in your comfort clothes, his heart melted.

He squatted down in front of you and with much tenderness, he caressed your face. He didn’t want to wake you up, he just needed to touch you. He was finally able to breathe. 

You felt his hand on your cheek and automatically, you knew it was Jiyong. You must have been dreaming, you were at your place, alone. Humming with content, you whispered his name with a satisfied smile across your lips and turned to face the other side. 

“Sleep, hun… I’ll wait tomorrow, I can wait now”.

“Ji?” you exclaimed in surprise. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you rub your eyes and opened the light that sat on the low table. When you discovered his features, you jumped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of him. “What’s going on? What happened”.

He didn’t understand what you meant, he didn’t say anything yet 

“Ji, you cried! What happened?”

“I cried? ooooh, yes” patting his face he realized that he did, indeed, have semi-dried tears on his cheeks. So he cried and didn't realize it.

“Why??? What happened?” you asked in a hurry.

“Nothing happened. I just cried…”

“Something must have, you had cried and landed in my living room at 3 am” you cupped his cheeks and started a visual inspection of him. You needed to make sure that he was okay, that nothing happened to him. That he was not sick or hurt physically at least. He found you beautiful.

“I love you”

“Yes Ji, I know… love you too” you answered mindlessly as you scritized his face, concentrating on your inspection.

He grabbed your wrists and held your hands close to his heart. He had started to talk, he couldn’t stop now. He didn’t want to. With all his courage and all the hope he could gather, he repeated.

“Y/n, I love you” 

“...”

“I love you”

You understood what he just said, the words he pronounced but not quite the meaning. You locked eyes with him, searching for an answer to your unspoken question. His beautiful eyes were not sparkling exactly the same way than before. He seemed agitated and peaceful at the same time, it was strange.

“Ji? What’s going on? Are you drunk?”

“Yah… Pabo! Let’s sit more comfortably, I’ll explain”.

You both transferred on the couch, sitting face to face with your knees up under your chin. You held your legs against your chest in a comforting manner. He couldn’t resist the temptation to touch you and he placed a hand flat on your forearm, amazed by your beauty as much as touched by your obvious concern.

“Y/n… Let me talk please”

It made you smile. If the situation would have not been that tensed, you would have laughed your ass out and mock him. 

“I didn’t place a word Ji, I’m waiting for you to explain your interruption in my living room in the middle of the night. I think it’s fair to say that I’m letting you talk”.

“Yes, sorry” he scratched his head with shyness “what I meant was let me talk before you do. But first, why didn’t you answer my calls or texts today? I was scared something happened to you”.

“I figure, sorry Ji. I was dead busy today, couldn’t find the time to eat anything or rest. I took a shower and wanted to call you but the minute I sat on the couch, I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to make you worry”

“Fair enough… and what happened at work today? You had a good day? Did you finally decide to buy yourself a cat?”

“Ji…” you cut him. He was running around the bush and you became impatient. “Ji, tell me. What is it about?”

“I promise you that if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be okay, I’ll manage to survive. Goodness, I’m petrified”.

While he took his sweet time to say what he had to say, an image was forming in your mind. Did he mean what you think he meant? It couldn’t be possible. Febrile, hope bloomed inside of you.

“Ji… what’s going on?”

“I love you”

The mocking gaze of your best friend was gone. Instead, in his eyes you saw a loving feeling come to life. You read in it doubt and hope. Lots of hope. In his eyes, new sparks you never thought that would shine on for you.  This beautiful vision speaked louder than words.

“I realised lately that you’re the one I want to share my life with. The affection I had, it changed into love. Now, I smile like an idiot when I hear your voice. I melt when you pronounce my name. I want my hands on you all the time. I want to hug you. I want to be a better person and make you proud. I want the world a better place just for you to be more safe. I want to make you happy, just like you make me. I want to kiss you. I want to hold your hand on my way to paradise if it exists, and I want to be born with you again in our next life. Say something please…”

“That hand of mine will hold yours till the end of our life and again in the next one. I promise you that”. 

It was not what he expected to hear. He was so scared that you would reject him, he never thought you would really share his feelings. He just hoped with all his heart, unsure and nervous. Therefore, he was unable to process the words you spoke.

“What?”

You didn’t repeat, instead you leaned in and kissed him, putting all your love in the kiss. The tenderness you feel for him, the passion too. You put all those intentions as your lips sealed with his. Tears went down both your cheeks and mixed together before falling on your clothes.

“You love me?” he asked between the kisses. “For real?” 

He cupped your cheeks with a tenderness that you never felt before. His hands on you was now the only thing that matters.

“Ji, I love you. I love you so much… loved you for years now”.

“Woah, really?”

“Let’s not talk about it yet, we have plenty of time ahead. But yes, I love you. I thought I was so obvious”.

“Not at all, I didn’t realize. I’m sorry love, to realize that you were mine this late”.

“It’s okay Ji, I never thought that you could love me back so I'm more than happy right now. I’m in heaven”.

“Me too”

You looked at each other, smiling shyly.

“I can’t wait to bring you out on our first date. It will be so nice to hold your hand… to show everybody that you are mine, that I’m the luckiest man who got the prettiest girl”.

“Aaaaw Ji”

Your heart was so light but it was beating fast at the same time. You were happy like you were never before. You felt fully and wonderfully alive, loved and overwhelmed. Jiyong’s features told you that he felt the exact same way about you. He had that shy loving smile of his. 

“Ji… Is this for real?”

“I could ask you the same”

“Love of my life…” you whispered as you kissed him a sweet and feverish kiss. You broke contact and plonged your eyes into his “you have no idea how you make me feel right now. I’ve been longing for you, for your kisses and touch all this time. I was loving you in silence and now I can finally touch you. I don’t mean sexually… Just to be able to cup your beautiful face like that and I’m in heaven” you said as you cupped his face and kissed the tip of his nose. 

“I doubt the ‘not sexually’ part but I know exactly how you feel. It seems like you are too far away from me. You would be sitting on my lap and you would still be too far. I’m craving for you”

“Come” you said, standing up. You took his hand in yours and as you walked backwards, you guided him towards your bedroom.  His smile grew bigger.

“Where are we going?”

“You confessed your love to me while I was wearing those clothes that you hate so much. I think it’s only fair that we take them off now… I mean, not to ruin your mood”

“You… you sure?”

“Not a bit… I’m scared that I will deceive you. I’m scared that you will not love what you see…”

“Shhhhh” he stopped you with a kiss “there is no such thing possible. You walked naked so many times before me, I already know all your curves”

“I never walked naked in front of you…”

“You do”

“Nope…”

“all the time…”

“Wanna see what naked is? Let me show you” you took your clothes off in the speed of light, exposing your naked forms in front of him. “See? Have you ever seen me naked like that before?”

He smiled a cocky smile and pushed the clothes that were on the floor with his foot. He didn’t answer your question; instead, he held out a trembling hand, the only clue of the fire roaring in him. He put it flat on the side of your neck. His touch was delicate and full of love. You felt his raw emotion in the way he was touching you, looking at you.  He couldn't believe he was so lucky. That you were his and you felt the same.

“I love what I see. I love every inch of that body because it’s yours. I will love and cherish it until the day I die”

A single tear fell down off your eyes. There was no cloud under your sky and if ever you meet some along the way, you will certainly find a way to overcome it. Of that, you had no doubt. 

“I love you Jiyong”

“I love you Y/n”

Without another word, he lifted you from the ground and transported you to you to your bed. With all the love he had, and all the love you had too, you started your new life together in the most beautiful way possible.

#Gdragon #Gdragon fic #GD #Gd smut #Gd fluff #Gd oneshot #Gdragon one shot #Bigbang #Gdragon smut #gdragon fluff #Jiyong fluff #Kwon Jiyong fluff #Jiyong smut #Kwon Jiyong smut #Friends to lovers #GD friends to lover #ftl #jiyong scenario #Gdragon scenario #Jiyong oneshot

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 21 - Sci Fi

New part is here! Hoping this makes up a bit for the heartbreak of the last part!

I have no idea how long this spurt of energy and and inspiration will last, but I'll keep writing until it runs out!

Master Post linked here

Enjoy!

____________________________

“Did you hear me?” Chris’s voice was filled with patience and warmth. “I’ll save you. I’ll be your Connector.”

I looked at him silently, knowing that I should feel relieved.

Whether my alternate memories were caused by the mental degradation, or if I was truly some sort of traveler tasked with saving this world, his offer solved all my problems. Forming a match with him would stabilize my mental condition, allowing me to fully understand what was real and what was not. It would help me become not only a true Guardian, but a powerful one that could help take on the Hive and save the world, completing my mission.

I should have felt relieved. I should have felt grateful for his generous offer.

But instead, I felt sick and wanted to run away.

“Thank you for offering this, but you have a dream, Chris. You want to be a Guardian more than anyone else.” I found myself arguing passionately, hoping he would withdraw his offer. “I can’t let you sacrifice all the work you’ve done, the trust others have placed in you. Besides, you already have a Connection with Princess Ilene...”

“Alaira.” He frowned as I finally managed to free my hand from his grasp and leaned back to put some distance between us. “None of that is as important as your wellbeing. Ilene understands that.”

“Maybe you don't have to sacrifice all that though. Maybe there’s another match out there for me…” I was grasping at straws, not even sure why I was arguing. But I knew it, felt it deep in my soul.

I didn’t want to match with Chris.

“There’s no one else. I am your only chance to be a Guardian.” The warmth was gone, his face and tone were serious. “Either you match with me, or they’ll put you on indefinite leave, and you’ll never be a Guardian again. “

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 2%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

“I don’t want to force you.” He reached out to smooth my hair, becoming visibly frustrated as I pulled back further, refusing to let him touch me. “I’m just trying to save you.”

“…”

“Trust me.”

____________________________

“Trust me.”

The man in front of me threw up his hands as he paced back and forth. “Everything will go a lot smoother if you STOP CHANGING THE STORY!”

“I thought that was why we were here, though?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair, adjusting the ballgown out of the way and cleaning my nails with a blade. “To fix the lower realms, to save these worlds? That requires change, right?”

He paused in his movements, glaring at me. “Stop acting stupid! These worlds are broken because they didn’t follow the rules. We know the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

“I don’t want to though.” I shuddered. “No offense, but if the rules are going to require us to have a romantic relationship, I’m finding a different way. There's always an alternate solution.”

“That’s what the story requires, you have your role to play. I am the hero of this world, the prince, and you are the damsel in distress. I was supposed to save you. You were supposed to fall in love with ME. Why did you have to stab the witch yourself?!"

I flipped the knife in my hand. "She was asking for it."

"You can't keep doing this. You know the consequences of not playing the right part.”

“No, there’s always different paths to take." I sighed, "You’re a good friend, and I’m glad to have you by my side, but that’s different than love.”

“…”

“You clearly don’t love me either, so why are you making such a fuss about this? As long as we complete what we came here to do, that’s all that matters, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

He stepped closer to me, his atmosphere slightly threatening. “Why are you so different from what you are supposed to be?”

“What are you…?”

“Why can’t you just ACCEPT...”

His hand grabbed my wrist, the grip painful. I raised the knife in my hand, but hesitated to stab him.

“YOUR.”

He pulled me closer until our faces were inches apart. His bright blue eyes were blazing with anger as they stared into my own. Each word burning itself into my soul.

“FATE.”

Letting me go, he walked away, putting some distance between us, before turning back to face me.

“This lower realm is stabilized. We should return.” His smile was cold. “The next mission is a little different from our previous ones. We’ll talk about it later.”

“…”

“And next time…?” He laughed, a bitter sound. “You’ll play your part whether you want to or not.”

____________________________

The memory was slow to fade, my heart still beating quickly with residual anxiety and anger. My hand tried to grasp the knife from the vision, but it closed on empty air instead.

“Alaira. Why aren’t you answering?”

I will not accept my fate.

I didn’t even know what fate I was rejecting, but I knew deep down in my soul that I had to fight.

I blinked a few times, focusing on Chris’s expectant face.

“I really appreciate you being willing to put aside your dreams to help me, but... Can you give me tonight to think about it? I’m just… I’m still really overwhelmed with all the changes that have happened.”

“…” He studied me closely before nodding with a polite smile. “Of course, Alaira. Like I said, I don’t want to force you. This will be the start of a beautiful partnership.”

Reaching out, he caught my hand again before I could pull away. He squeezed it tightly, almost painfully, before letting go and stepping back.

“The hero and the heroine… together… as it should be.” His mumbled words reached my ears and I felt sick and panicked once more.

No.

“Have a good rest, Alaira.” He closed the door behind him, and I heard the lock click into place.

I was trapped. I wanted to panic, to get up and pound at the door. To try to escape. Instead, my head started throbbing once more, and exhausted, my body pulled me back to sleep again.

____________________________

I woke up to three young women sitting next to my bed, staring at me.

I let out a startled shriek, scrambling to sit up and back away until my back hit the headboard of the bed. Looking around, I was still in Chris’s dorm room, but it now seemed much smaller and crowded with the trio who seemed intent on watching my every move.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” I waved a hand weakly, feeling scared by their intensity.

“… We wanted to see how you were feeling.” Princess Ilene was staring at me, her face unreadable.

This feels very uncomfortable.

“Why?”

The girls looked at each other at my question, before turning back to focus on me once again.

“We know what Chris offered to you.” A young lanky woman, who I recognized as my classmate Allie spoke up. Wasn’t she the one who sent me all the threatening messages in class?

“He’s willing to give up everything to save you.” Wen, the engineer who had confronted me early on, spoke solemnly, her face grim.

Ilene snorted bitterly. “Even if it means breaking up our partnership.”

“… Are you here to beat me up?” I don't think I can fight in my current condition. “Because if that’s the case, let me go ahead and say that I haven’t agreed to his proposal.” And I don’t want to. “ If you want to talk him out of it, that’s fine with me…”

“Are you stupid?” Ilene interrupted, rolling her eyes. “You should be grateful that someone as wonderful and caring as Chris is willing to sacrifice his dreams to save you. And you want to waste that?”

Allie chimed in. “Yeah. We may not agree with him becoming your Connector, but we all care about him, and if you’re that important to him… then we need to respect that.”

Glancing around the room, I shuddered at the intensity of the atmosphere. “You all care about him… romantically?”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“Of course!”

The girls answered in unison.

“And he cares about you all the same way?”

“…” There was an awkward silence, before the petite engineer spoke up.

“We are important to him, obviously. But now isn’t the right time for him to get involved in romance. He’s pursuing his dream of being a Guardian. One day things will settle down, and we’ll know which one of us is in his heart.” She smiled at me. “I’m sure you understand. You’re the same way, after all.”

“I’m the what now?”

“You’re in love with Chris.”

Umm, No.

“Sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding.” I rubbed my forehead as I tried to explain. To be fair, ALAIRA had been in love with Chris. But me? Not so much.

“I… respect him. “ It wasn’t completely a lie. I did respect his ability to completely ignore reality and charge forward without any doubt his actions were right. “But I’m not in love with the guy.”

Allie patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re in a safe place. You can admit your feelings here. We all love Chris. Even if he’s too busy becoming the strongest Guardian ever to return our affections.”

Have I… accidentally been admitted in the male lead’s harem? I sighed, wishing I could bang my head against a wall. Someone SAVE ME!

“We just wanted you to know that we will support you and Chris becoming partners.” Wen smiled, standing up, preparing to leave.

“You really don’t have to…”

Allie stood up as well. “I’m just glad you’ve come around and want to work WITH Christ instead of trying to embarrass him…”

“I really don’t…”

“And you better appreciate what Chris is willing to give up for you.” Ilene still looked angry. “He’s too good for you.”

“I don’t want…”

“We’ll be cheering for you at your next match with Chris” Wen pulled Ilene to her feet. “Don’t let him down.”

I was getting REALLY sick and tired of not being allowed to finish a sentence. “I AM not going to be his partner!!!”

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 1%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

The girls ignored my words, leaving with smiles and waves. Frustrated, confused, I slammed my fists against the bed, screaming. The bright blue words warning me of my upcoming demise slowly faded from the world, as if they were never there.

SCREW THIS! End of the world… destruction of the soul… I DON’T CARE! I am not going to be forced into matching with Chris. He gives me the creeps. I’d rather have my mind splinter than let him into it.

Feeling a strange mix of recklessness and calm, I sat up in the bed, taking a deep breath and staring at the clock in the wall.

Just a few more hours, and everybody should be asleep. And then…

I leaned over, picking up a small hairpin that dropped on the floor from Ilene’s head when she stood up.

I make my escape.

____________________________

Time passed slowly. I felt as if each hour was taking a century to pass, sitting in Chris’s room, not knowing if he would come back. Not sure if the blue words would pop up again, announcing that I had failed my mission, that my soul would be destroyed. I was having trouble focusing, my thoughts tangling together inside my head, difficult to separate out. I took slow, deep breaths, trying to sort out what I knew.

I don’t want to match with Chris.

I knew that for a fact.

I don’t have a better plan to save my mental state, or complete my mission.

Also fact.

I might die.

The facts were really depressing, actually. Just looking at it like this, it still seemed as if my best option would be to agree to Chris’s proposal.

____________________________

"We know the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

____________________________

The man's words from my memory echoed in my head, but I ignored them.

Like the me in those memories said... There's always an alternate solution.

I won’t match Chris.

It wasn’t rational or smart. But I couldn’t give in.

So, if I don’t have a better plan, why bother to escape?

I leaned back against the headboard of the bed, trying to come up with a single goal after leaving this place. It didn’t take long, as a familiar face came to mind.

Liam. I want to find Liam.

It didn’t make sense. It wouldn’t help my mission, as he couldn’t form a connection. We didn’t even know each other that well, only spent a few hours in each other’s company. But deep down inside me, the only thing I wanted to do was see him again. He was the only person I trusted.

Chris said he returned home, though.

Hopefully he was lying. And if he wasn’t… well, then I would just have to search for him then.

The clock chimed. It was midnight, and almost everyone should be asleep. Getting to my feet, I took a moment to steady myself, ignoring the searing headache and lightheadedness that had gotten worse the more awake I was.

It must be the mental degradation. Who knows how much time I have left?

I moved quietly towards the door, studying the lock. Alaira had been a good student, spending all her time studying military tactics and Mech technology. She had no idea how to pick a lock.

____________________________

I was an assassin, crouching in front of a door, easily forcing it open within a few seconds.

“Amateurs.” I whispered to myself with a grin. “Thinking you could keep me out.”

____________________________

The memory faded, but my hands were already moving, inserting the hairpin I had found into the lock and rearranging the tumblers inside. As I felt the last one slide into place, there was a loud clicking noise, and the door swung open.

“I’m not Alaira.” I whispered. “These memories aren’t hallucinations.”

Which was probably not a good thing, given that I was about to fail my mission, and have my soul destroyed. But I was still happy.

I am not Alaira.

I crept down the main hallway of the men’s dormitory, having to hide a few times to dodge security guards. The throbbing of my shoulder served as a steady reminder to keep close track of my surroundings.

“Report.”

Just as I was entering a entrance hallway to the dormitory, someone called out. At the sound of the voice, I ducked under a table, hiding myself in the shadows, glad I was wearing my dark uniform still.

“Everything has been quiet, sir.” A security guard stepped into my vision, looking nervous.

“You’re certain?” The voice was quiet, but was still easily recognizable as the one I wanted to hear the least right now:

Chris? What’s he doing up at this hour.

“Yes, sir. There’s been no movement around the dorms tonight.”

“Good.” Chris stepped into view, his polite façade gone, in its place a grim, ruthless man. “As I’ve said before, Guardian Alaira is deep into mental degradation, and is a danger to herself and others. I've kept her here solely for the purpose of her safety, but she can’t understand that in her current state, and may try to escape.”

“Are you sure…?” The guard seemed nervous.

“Do YOU want to be responsible for General Gladus’ only child being harmed?”

He straightened up, shaking his head back and forth vigorously. “No! No of course not!”

“Then do what you are told. And remember, Prince William…”

Liam? I leaned in, interested.

“…whereabouts are unknown, so keep an eye out.” He sighed. “He was supposed to go home after receiving that written summons. But he hung around instead, and has been trying to see her.”

“Why can’t they…?”

“He’s the reason she has refused to match. As a Connector without the ability to make the connection, he hopes to keep her like him, not caring that her mind is almost completely broken. “ Chris held out his hands helplessly. “Even if he’s a prince, we can’t let him do this. Not to General Gladus’ family, right?”

Liam didn’t go home?! He’s nearby! I felt excited, almost not hearing the next part of the conversation. The sound of my name dragged back my attention.

“Alaira and I will be forming the Connection tomorrow. So we just have to keep an eye out until then.”

“She has agreed?”

“She will.” He smiled, the expression terrifying in the shadows. “She has to.” He moved off to the side, his boots only a few feet from my face, picking up something from the table above me.

“Or she’ll fail the mission, and her soul will be destroyed.”

He whispered the last sentence, but it struck me like a bolt of lightning.

HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE MISSION?! ABOUT THE WARNING? I clapped my hands to my mouth, preventing a sound from leaking out as my frenzied brain tried to make sense of this new information. Is he a traveler too?

Does he know who I really am?

“Well, congratulations on a successful match, then.” The guard responded cheerfully, unaware of the grim threat lurking behind Chris’ words.

The two separated, leaving me frozen, still hiding underneath the table.

Who is Chris, who am I? I clutched at my head, the throbbing pain worsening. I don’t have time to figure this out!

I started moving forward, ignoring my growing panic and confusion. Ignoring the agony of my mind falling apart.

I was going to find Liam.

I crept along the side of the room, making it to the front door of the dormitory.

What if there are guards on the other side?

I pushed away the panicked thought, and mentally prepared to fight my way out.

I’ve already gotten this far. I won’t give up now!

With that, I took a deep breath, and pushed open the door, rushing out, ready to start swinging.

I ran straight into a firm chest.

Fight!

I cocked a fist, swinging it towards the man’s face, when I head a single word.

“Alaira?”

I froze, looking up into familiar dark blue eyes. “Liam? What are you doing here?”

“Trying to rescue you! What are you doing here?”

“Escaping.”

“Awesome!” He grabbed my hand, pulling me along. “Let’s escape together!”

We ran away.

____________________________

Quickly moving through the different winding hallways, I lost track of where we were going. The doors flew past us, the soft glow of the emergency lighting a blue blur. All I could see was Liam’s back in front of me.

And I feel a whole lot safer than I ever did sitting in that quiet dorm room.

Finally, Liam pulled me into a classroom, dragging over a chair for me to sit on. Once I sat down, he brought a desk over, opening up a backpack and setting a thermos and a container down next to me.

Opening the container and thermos, I shook my head “How on earth did you manage to bring along hot tea and sandwiches to a rescue attempt?”

“I was worried that you might not have been eating properly.” He muttered.

A brief flash of a smiling man peeling an apple by a campfire filled my mind. “Support spouse?” The muttered words came unbidden to my lips, and I rubbed my temples.

Liam blushed, “What did you call me?”

“Nothing, sorry. My mind is having trouble keeping things straight right now.”

“The mental degradation?” He reached out, his hand pausing in the air before dropping back by his side. “How are you doing?”

I took a sip from the thermos, realizing from the empty feeling in my stomach that I hadn’t eaten anything in the whole time I had been trapped in Chris’s dorm room. “Honestly… I don’t know. Things are getting jumbled… I’m having trouble figuring out what’s real and what isn’t.”

“It’s already that far along?” Liam’s face was full of concern. “And there’s still no high enough match for you to make a connection and reverse the process?”

Chris’s offer crossed my mind, but I shook my head. “No.”

“…Alaira.” He spoke my name quietly. “ What about Chris? “

“…”

“I don’t know what’s going on. All I know is that you disappeared from the infirmary last night, and all of a sudden I received a communication telling me to return home immediately. When I tried to track you down to check on you first, I couldn’t find you. Finally I narrowed it down to the Chris’s dormitory, but he had the place locked down like a fortress.”

Liam sat down next to me, staring down at his hands. “I heard that he has a high enough resonance match with you to make the connection, but he’s always refused in the past.” He glanced up at me. “But that’s not the case anymore, is it?”

“…I don’t want him in my head.”

“Even if it means your mind degrading further?”

I thought over the mission warning. “Even if my soul were going to be destroyed. I won't match him. It would be worse than death.”

“…okay.”

Shocked, I stared over at him. His face was serious, his eyes concerned as his gaze met mine. “Really? That simple?”

“I won’t force you to let that person into your mind. If it’s against your will, my attempt to save you could destroy you.” He broke the eye contact. “I just wish more than anything that I could make the Connection.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I’m useless.”

____________________________

“I’m useless.” The man in front of me, usually confident and smiling, was broken, his hands clutching tightly onto my own.

“Don’t say that.” I was breaking down, barely able to lift my head to look at him.

“It’s true. Something has changed... the world has changed. This place is rejecting you. My blood doesn’t work anymore. You’re going to be forced to leave, to go back to… “ He held his face in his hands. “And I can’t stop it.”

“Hey, lean closer.” I whispered, a small grin on my face despite the pain that wracked my body.

He leaned in, his dark blue eyes curious.

I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him in closer, and kissed him.

____________________________

I blinked, the memory still gripping me tightly, and realized that something was very wrong:

I was still kissing someone.

I was kissing Liam.

My hand gripped the front of his uniform tightly, the fabric wrinkled in my grasp. My other rested on his shoulder, feeling his trembling beneath my hand. His own hands braced against the chair and desk, keeping him from falling down where I had already obviously pulled him out of his seat. Our lips pressed together tightly, a comfortable warm feeling.

Did… I just jump Liam while in the grip of a memory?

…Also, I should probably stop, right?

I slowly released him, embarrassed as he sat back in his chair with a loud thump, his eyes wide with surprise and his face red.

“I … I’m sorry, I was confused…I didn’t mean…” I stuttered, wondering how to explain.

“I felt that.”

“I’ve been getting flashes of memories, and I’m not sure what they mean, or what’s real…”

“Alaira.”

“I shouldn’t have grabbed you, and… done that. I’m sorr…”

“ALAIRA.” Liam’s uncharacteristically loud voice startled me into silence. I stared at him warily, unsure if he was mad or not.

His hand grabbed my own, shocking me. “I felt that.”

“I don’t…”

“I felt it… without the barrier.” Liam was still blushing, but his eyes were filled with an excited light instead of the defeated expression that had been there before.

“You did?”

“Yeah… um…” He swallowed uncomfortably, glancing at me before looking away. “Can we do that again?”

“…”

Seeing my strange expression, he waved his hands frantically. “Not to take advantage of you or anything! I mean I can try to match you if my barrier is down, and that’s the only way…”

I raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying you don’t want to kiss me? You just want to see if we’re a high enough resonance match to form a connection?”

He hesitated, and then covered his face. “No. I want to kiss you again too.”

“Good.” I moved closer this time and leaned in with a smile. “Me too.”

We kissed again.

This time, beyond the warmth of the physical connection, I felt an electric pulse between us, a surge of power that was foreign to myself, but all too familiar at the same time.

We must be higher than a 50% match! Enough to stop the mental degradation!

Before I could break away to tell Liam, I felt his hand gently slide around the back of my head, his fingers tangling into my hair. The kiss deepened, becoming more passionate. The power exchange between us grew exponentially, the tangling of Alpha and delta waves binding our souls together.

He’s making the Connection. I responded fully, throwing all my power into it. Immediately my headache lessened, the vague sense of uncertainty that had been haunting me faded away.

After what seemed like an eternity, we broke apart, catching our breath. My heartbeat was frantic in my ears as I stared at Liam. I could feel him still, inside my self, tangled with my mind and spirit, a constant presence within me.

This is more than a simple Connection.

Liam nodded, looking overwhelmed. “I’m not sure exactly what happened… I think we might be a really high resonance match.”

“Why…” I paused, trying to sort out my thoughts. “Why does it feel like we’ve always had this connection… we’re just getting it back now?”

“Maybe we did in another life. ” he grinned, his face still red. “I felt tied to you the moment I met you.”

I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder. “Same.”

There was a comfortable silence, as we sat in the dark classroom, the tea in the thermos in front of us long gone cold. Finally I spoke up, refusing to move from my position of leaning on him.

“What now?”

He thought it over. “I guess we tell everyone we formed the Connection, and that you don’t need to be suspended anymore.”

“And after that?”

“Not sure.”

There is still the mission, I guess. “How about we save the world?”

His arm tightened around me. “If it will make you happy, anything.”

We waited out the night, together.

#writing #please fix the story #sci-fi #lost memories #more background #liam is here #Some sweetness to offset the bitterness of the last part #world hopping

[fairestwriting]

slams open your door/ one angst request for a childhood g/n reader with deuce, ace, jack, ruggie and vil coming right up! "if we're still single by 30, let's get married! (for housing benefits lol)" it was a childish promise made in jest, but the boy never forgot. in the end, it ends with unrequited/pining feelings from one/both sides that cant be returned due to bad timing/prior engagements/etc when they reach of age (go hogwild with the scenarios lis!!)

(slams my hands on the table) yes yes yes yes YES i love this trope

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

Deuce Spade

You make the promise to him after you confessed to your crush sometime in 7th grade and got rejected, left to cry by yourself behind the school. Out of all your friends, only Deuce came to comfort you -- And so you, in your dramatic childish glory, feeling like you’d never find anyone to love, tell him the two of you should get married if you’re single by 30.

Deuce remembers every detail of that event down to how your eyes gleamed with the tears, how the light of the sunset casted that golden glow on your hair -- It was when he knew he loved you. It took him a while to find the right words to describe the feeling, but he’d been feeling it for a long time.

He doesn’t pursue you because he feels like he’ll grow out of it. You go to NRC together, the two of you against the world, and it’s like everyday he falls in love a little more. You support him through his attempts of being a honors student, and on the day of your graduation, the first thing you do is hug each other tight, cheering about how you made it, you finally made it.

You don’t lose contact with each other even after school. Deuce and you are basically attached to the hip, meeting up every other week to talk about college and then your jobs. Through all of this time you’re friends, both of you go through a handful of relationships each, but none of them are really serious. As you approach 30, Deuce remembers that promise from back then.

When your birthday comes up, you’re sort of gloomy over recent breakup, and Deuce, naturally, is the first one to be there for you. He shows up in the morning with a gift and makes you breakfast, your dear best friend warming your heart once more. You rant about your latest partner and exchange anecdotes about how last week went before everything goes silent, and suddenly his hand is hesitantly on yours.

“D-Do you remember, um.” He begins, face flushed. “That promise we made in middle school? That if we were single until 30...”

You blink. Really, that? It felt like so long ago -- It was hard to remember even. You can barely catch what he was going to try to say before you laugh your middle school self off, snickering at how naive you were -- Something in Deuce seems to shatter, then, and his hand retracts. It’s so fast you can barely tell what’s happening.

And he stays with you through the birthday regardless, of course he does. He’s your dearest friend, isn’t he?

the rest is under the cut cause... its long

Ace Trappola

You hated Ace, initially. You met in kindergarten and he was the worst, literally. Always pulling pranks on everyone and acting just so infuriatingly cheeky, your 5 year old self learned real rage through that little redhead boy who always hid your things just to get a rise out of you.

One day you decided to prank him back, causing massive trouble in the classroom that ends with the two of you getting intensely scolded, and that’s how, somehow, a beautiful friendship blooms. Ace gets this sparkle in his eyes when you’re done getting yelled at, and says that the two of you should be friends and work together on doing this to other people.

Since then you two became inseparable. You’d never stop bickering, but you also never left each other’s side. The two of you were a menace, an absolute terror to your teachers -- Whether you were a good kid before meeting him or not didn’t matter, Ace is great at being a bad influence.

Near the end of 4th grade, you begin hearing about how one of your classmate’s single parent was getting married again. This sparked a big conversation between your class, somehow, with everyone declaring who they wanted to marry. It was a silly childish thing. When your turn comes, you proudly announce that when you grew up, you’d marry Ace if you hadn’t married anyone else by 30, ‘cause no one else would choose him but me! You snicker after making the comment, amused at how mean you were being, but somehow your snarkiness seems to fly over Ace’s head.

It’s a thing that happens that you two never really talk about again, but it ticks in the back of his mind for his whole life as you two grow up. Even entering middle and then high school, he always remembers it when he goes through some sort of romantic disappointment. You really were the only one who always stuck around, after all...

Years go by and somehow you’re still by each other’s side. Every birthday that passes Ace thinks about it a little more, he wonders if that promise from ages ago was true. When your 30th birthday comes up the promise is constantly in his mind, he’s driving himself up the wall with expectation. And he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling like that, really, you two are just childhood friends, right? There’s no reason for him to be feeling so... like this.

Eventually, he just blurts it out, a couple days after said birthday. You two are probably just hanging out and ranting about work when he goes “Hey, you remember that stuff you said in 4th grade? About, uh, us getting married?” And you go silent for a beat. His heart races as he wonders what the hell he’s doing, even.

But you laugh it all off. What, that stuff about marrying you? Yeah, I was such a dumb kid. I was right, though, look how you’re still single, you joke, and it feels like a punch to the gut to Ace. He laughs awkwardly with you. Yeah, sure, how foolish the two of your were for thinking of something like... you two... being together like that...

Jack Howl

Jack was, before everything, the scary boy in your 2nd grade class. Beastmen weren’t exactly common at school, especially wolves like him, so he ended up sticking out quite a lot. Most kids, your friends included, thought he was far too scary to approach. And Jack himself seemed to be fine with that, not really interacting much with anyone.

That was all he was for you until, one day, an older kid gets mad at you during lunch for bumping into them and staining their shirt with juice. They’re about two or three years ahead and so much taller than you, you’re genuinely scared -- And who would know that in a moment like this, the one kid in your class you weren’t very fond of would stand up for you, convincing the bully to go away.

Afterwards, Jack asks if you’re okay, you two end up eating together, and the rest is history. You find out he was actually really sweet, despite seeming so tough, and you get comfortable with it. Jack was always a reliable, loyal friend, someone you knew you could count on.

This included when your friends started being weirded out by you for getting close to the scary boy in class. They get it in their heads that you have a crush on him and tease you for it, which makes you upset, but Jack stands up for you again. This was enough for you to be pretty starry eyed at the age of 7, so you declared that, hey, who cares about what these mean kids are saying! Maybe you and Jack should be together anyway. Actually, if you two got to 30 and you were still single, you should get married! Jack gets just as starry eyed as you, and you seal a pinky promise that day.

What you never knew, though, was that he wouldn’t grow out of it -- Because as time goes by and you two grow up alongside each other, it ends up slipping your mind. You meet new people and learn new things, getting into some relationships here and there, and though you’d taken the promise seriously for a bit when you were a kid, it was just something you laughed about now.

You don’t even remember it on Jack’s 30th birthday. You’re one of the first people to show up to the small gathering, naturally, you had known each other since forever. You’re teasing him about how he was so perpetually single even now, that you were reaching “marriage age”, and this seems to fluster him a bit.

“Well...” He starts, his ears going slightly limp. “I wanted... to keep that promise, you know. From when we were kids.” His voice is quiet, uncertain. It’s different from how you usually hear him talk, and you have no idea what he’s talking about. You question him about it, and he’s wide eyed when he realizes that you actually forgot.

He questions you about it. How could you forget? You two actually made a pinky promise about it -- But you’re just confused as to why he’s bringing this up, saying that of course it wasn’t a big deal, you two were just kids when it happened! Was he really expecting something from that? And when you ask him that, he’s silent.

Needless to say, the birthday is soured. Jack asks for you to leave, it’s a mess. You don’t know what you did wrong, exactly, just like you’re not sure how you could possibly fix this.

Ruggie Bucchi

“Partners in crime” was the only possible way to describe what sort of relationship you had with Ruggie. It starts in elementary school, you’re walking around in a farmer’s market near the slums and you catch him taking a handful of apples from a stand, without paying. Your eyes are wide as you remember who that boy was, a classmate of yours, and despite what your family had taught you about stealing, you walk up to the person taking care of the stand, and start chatting with them to distract them.

You’re not sure what really made you want to help this boy you barely knew, but it turned out to be the one thing in your life you’re the most grateful for, because the next day, when he sees you again in class, he runs up to you to thank you so many times in a row. And since then, you two started spending time together.

And you got along so well! Ruggie got along with most of the other kids and you had some friends of your own, but nothing was compared to how close the two of you were. You two scheme your way in and out of trouble through your school days, and at one point you can barely imagine your life without him.

Sometime mid 6th grade, your classmates start talking of crushes and dating and such, which gives you a lot to think about. You’re a bit upset that you seem to be the only one who isn’t in on the new fun, so one day, when you’re hanging out with Ruggie, you complain about feeling like you’d be single forever. Ruggie laughs and says that if no one wanted to be with you, then no one would want to be with him either. You still wonder what that meant.

In a fit of childishness, you say decisively that if you two were single until you were 30, you’d get married. Looking back on it, you can’t tell if you were kidding or not, but Ruggie and you shake hands mid-laughs, like you’re sealing a deal.

So time goes by. You don’t think too hard about that promise and Ruggie... doesn’t seem to, either, you actually wonder what’s going through his head often, because he rarely tells you what he’s thinking. You end up going to NRC together, to both of your families’ joy, and that just ends up making you closer, as two kids from the less-privileged side of the Afterglow Savannah in such a prestigious academy...

Your bond ends up really fire-forged after those four years, so it’s no surprise to anyone that you’d still be close even after you graduate, even as adults. Nothing could break a friendship like this.

You think about it on the day of your 30th birthday, when you’re out for drinks with Ruggie to celebrate. Really, how the hell did you stick to each other’s side for so long? You ask him as you loop an arm around his neck, and he grins. “Well, maybe we should get married like you promised then, y’know... when we were brats.” He says, a little quieter than your previous conversation. There’s a hint of some kind of different feeling there that you don’t catch at the time, scoffing at him and going, yeah, in your dreams.

The rest of the night goes normally, though you don’t hear from him for a couple days afterward... and when you do, he barely looks you in the eye. You wonder if anything bad happened, if you did anything wrong.

Vil Schoenheit

When Vil Schoenheit moved into your town, everybody was talking about him before he even really set foot into the classroom. Everyone had seen him somewhere -- The poster boy of villainy in all your favorite movies, a kid with a pretty face and a haughty aura.

You’re as curious as everyone else to meet him, though you don’t really share that strange vindictiveness the other kids seemed to have, angered at Vil himself for what his characters put others through. It’s so stupid, you thought, isn’t he just the actor? He might actually be nice.

When he arrives into the classroom, people are about as annoying towards him as you expected. Their disdain towards Vil bothered you, he’d barely said anything to others and yet they were already pegging him as a mean, arrogant person. So stupid, you repeat to yourself, and you decide to talk to him normally, and that’s how your ages-long friendship came to life.

Vil wasn’t like anyone you’d ever met. You come to find that he’s rather haughty, yes, and very strict with pretty much everything, but he was also very kind deep down, and willing to help you with anything you needed. He was a good friend. He was also, as you came to find out as you grew a little more, astoundingly pretty. With people disliking his “villainy” or not, by the time you’re starting middle school, he already consistently gets confessed to.

You’re a bit jealous. Not because you wanted Vil for yourself, no, he was just a good friend, but you wished people would find you as attractive as they found him, sometimes. You express that to him when you’re walking home together one day, and he laughs it off, saying it wasn’t as good as you thought it’d be. Still, you make him promise that if you were single by 30, he’d have to marry you, because if he just let you die alone, he’d be a bad friend. Vil seems strangely mesmerized by that, but he agrees.

Time goes by, you get to watch each other grow. Even with all the people going in and out of Vil’s life, he seems to keep you closer to his heart than everyone, and you never really lose contact with each other. Even when he’s busy, with movies or modeling or school, he still makes time to check up on you, and you see each other often.

When you’re actually nearing 30, Vil has reached a sort of stardom that burned your eyes just looking at, and you were so goddamn proud of him it was real. Somehow, he still makes time to show up for your birthday, after about a month of not really seeing each other -- And he spoils you to death on that day, the two of you spending all of it together and talking until it was late at night.

As the sun is about to rise, though, Vil’s chattiness subsides. About as sleep deprived as you, he says, softly “So since we’ve gotten there, and we’re both still single... maybe we should fulfill that promise from years ago, shouldn’t we?” You take a moment to process it, it’s tough remembering exactly when you made such a promise, but eventually you do. You feel like that should’ve been a joke, but the way Vil looks at you isn’t saying joke at all.

You sort of laugh it off either way, though. What, that silly promise? You ask, are you rubbing it in that you’re prettier than me? I can still find a partner looking like this, y’know. You think it’s funny, but Vil suddenly falls completely silent.

He then sighs, almost wistful, and says “Sure you can” before the conversation progresses... you’re not sure what happened, but life goes on after that like nothing happened. Deep down, Vil is feeling stupid for having taken the promise to heart, like he should have known better... but if you never really meant it, then what could he do but give it up? Even though it was the thing he wanted to do the least... he valued your friendship too much to do something that could possibly ruin it.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst imagines #twst x reader #deuce spade #ace trappola #jack howl #ruggie bucchi #vil schoenheit #deuce spade x reader #ace trappola x reader #jack howl x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #lis writing

[mybg3notebook]

Does Gale love Mystra?

So far in EA, we have been shown that this is complicated to answer: human love is complex as well as the delirious lore of Forgotten Realms. 

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were written up to the game version v4.1.104.3536 (Early access). As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information. Written in June 2021.

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

The narrative is clear until the party scene which, as I stated many times across these posts, it's a scene that feels a bit inconsistent for me (reasonable since it's EA). But if we follow what the game explicitly shows us, we know that if we send Gale to sleep at the beginning of the Weave scene in which he is watching the incantation with the shape of Mystra, he will say: 

Gale: Long days, yes. And long, lonesome nights.

If Tav knows that the incantation on his palm is Mystra, Gale will explain:

Tav: [insight] You don't have that look on your face when you're looking at “no one” / There's more to it than that. The figure I saw: she means something to you. Gale: [...] I can’t quite describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her – to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence. [...]

Dev's notes: Passionate. [...] He was recalling Mystra as a lover, but doesn’t say that out loud. [...] Narrator: The Weave evaporates, and as it does so, you realise the night feels suddenly cold and lonesome.

This allows us to infer that, at this moment, Gale is feeling alone and probably very anxious with the oppressing feeling of the "orb" in his chest. The tadpole only increased the number of problems he has, so he resorts to seeing Mystra melancholically. We notice later in the Weave Scene that not having Mystra around increases this feeling of loneliness. The whole scene seems to give us the idea that he still loves her. There is yearning and loneliness in his current situation.

After a moment of passionate description of magic, Gale invites Tav to experience the Weave. The Weave has a particular effect on Gale: "The moment feels intimate. You realise the Weave is making you one." Considering how Gale was feeling while conjuring the incantation, this moment touched him deeply (the narrator implies that this feeling is mutual).

If Tav expresses their romantic interests, Gale will be surprised:

Gale: I.. I didn’t think.. Narrator: You perceive quick-fire gusts of embarrassment, trepidation, and finally.. elation Gale: Sorry, I wasn’t expecting… But it is a pleasant image to be sure! Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome. Dev's notes: Warm, with real affection.

The narrator is giving us meta-knowledge, we can trust in what she says, and we can see that the situation was truly shocking for Gale. These emotional stages described here made me suspect that Gale is a character who has focused for too long on healing his condition, ignoring any chance for romance. His surprise here may confirm that, in my opinion. He feels embarrassment, a feeling that one can interpret as a sign of the surprise of being thrown into a situation he had not seen beforehand (the death protocol and Gale’s conversations show us that he is a character that thinks ahead). It follows trepidation: fear or anxiety about something that he is going to do or experience. Gale is scared of the possibility. Maybe because he is thinking in the danger he is, maybe because he was already burnt by Mystra's attention and having someone else's attention now makes him feel a bit anxious. And then, the final resolution of the process: elation, which is a feeling of great happiness and excitement about something that has happened. Gale is suddenly excited by the possibility. Something he will be thinking about, many times, for the rest of the EA. 

Tav: So what did you think about what I pictured when we were connected by the Weave? Gale: Oh, I was surprised. But pleasantly so, just like I said. Amid the madness that has befallen us, it seems almost out of place to think of a kiss/ of a romantic walk. And yet... now more than ever, it's important to recall what makes us human. [if Tav is not human] Well- you know what I mean. A stolen glance- that sudden heartbeat... Sometimes the little things are worth more than kingdoms. They promise things to come.

So romance was not something he had even considered until the opportunity arose (this is why he won't pursue a Tav who didn't show romantic interest towards him). I think that, since he is a character always living on the edge of death, he will take this opportunity to feel “human again”: after all, he follows the concept of "living life to the fullest".

During the Loss (see the post of the "Loss Scene"), we know that losing Mystra was a big blow for him. He regrets his decisions of the past in this scene, and it reinforced the idea that he is the only one to blame for Mystra's loss. There is a yearning for the lost Chosen powers, but Gale's context in the majority of his scenes seem to reinforce the idea that he sought power not as a means, but as a goal itself to be closer to Mystra and Magic. Since we are talking about a wizard, his passion lies in magic itself, in being one with the Weave/Magic/Mystra. A Chosen of Mystra is so entangled with the Weave and magic that when they die, they are part of the Weave itself. This is the level of passion that Gale has for Magic, and since Magic can only be performed by most mortals via Weave, and the Weave is Mystra, the whole three concepts are, in fact, one; and it makes it very difficult from a lore point of view to separate them. 

Tav: There's something I don't understand. If Mystra abandoned you, how can you still cast magic? Gale: The Weave is still here, all around us – inside of us too. As long as the goddess lives, magic is a tangible thing for those who know how to touch. I've studied magic for many years, and in as many ways I am still a more than capable wizard. It's just that I'm no longer able to perform those feats even arch wizards would marvel at. To have one hand on the pulse of divinity. You have to remember that the Weave is a living thing, both the embodiment and the extension of Mystra herself.She can give and she can take away. I'm afraid I'm still very much on her naughty list. Consider yourself lucky you're not. 

I personally think Gale will never stop being devoted to Mystra (and won't stop loving her in many ways), because his passion for magic and knowledge is his own life, and Mystra IS those things. He loves magic for the sake of it. So losing this unique contact with magic itself that only Chosen of Mystra have was a terrible punishment for him. His abandonment issues are not just the result of a “guy being left by a girl”. They have an extra complexity because of the nature of Magic in this world and how its deity behaves with her chosen. Gale was not only abandoned by Mystra, but was also removed of a good amount of his capacity to perform magic. If magic “is his life”, the abandonment removed a part of his life away. I think some people miss this point, because, once more, it's related to Forgotten Realm lore and not Dragon Age. Many of these people keep constantly comparing this situation with Dragon Age, which has nothing to do with it. Dragon Age has no wizards, their relationship with Magic is natural, it’s sorcerer-like if we want to compare it, and the relationship with their deities (mostly absent, silent ones) are nothing alike the ones in Forgotten Realm. The context is key, as I repeated several times in these posts and in the one about "Context, persuasion, and manipulation". 

Tav: I don't know what to make of what you've told me, but I sympathise. Gale: Thank you. [no romantic weave] I want you to know that you’re a good friend. [romantic weave] I often think of that moment we shared together – one under the Weave. I hope you think about it too. /I'm glad to know you think about it too.

Narrator: You sense a moment of unspoken affection. You want to know where it may lead. Gale: I consider myself very lucky to have found you Tav: I think perhaps we could be more than friends Gale: Perhaps. 

Tav: You said you think about the moment we shared under the weave. Do you think about it often? Gale: Do you? 1-2-Tav: Yes / From time to time. Gale: So do I. 3- Tav: Not really. Gale: And yet you ask. I do, as a matter of fact.

Gale: You see. I'm not a big believer in fate, but I do believe in serendipity. Life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace. You're one such event that one day soon perhaps I'd like to embrace.

So after sharing this regret during the Loss scene, Gale will show affection if Tav remains friendly during the Weave (but Gale will never directly engage it, he is waiting for Tav to give the first step; understandable if we consider he also has a dangerous bomb in his chest, so he may be torn between wanting to, but knowing he should not to). If there is no interest in pursuing romance, he will show a gesture of gratitude for being a good friend during that night of regrets. 

If pursuing the romance, we can interpret that Gale, at this point, even though he is still struggling with all the emotions that Mystra inspires, wants to experience something more “human”, a romance with a mortal. We know for sure that Gale is getting interested, slowly, while thinking about it, since in each of the following scenes he will ask (or Tav will ask) about that “moment in the Weave”. He has been thinking about it for many nights, and he is “embracing” the idea. 

If Gale is treated with judgement (despite not knowing his whole story) or allowing him to keep the secret of what or who he lost, we will obtain lines likes:

Gale: Good. Goodnight. And thank you for your patient understanding. // And try not to think too poorly of me. A cat can look at a king. A wizard can look at a goddess.

Tav: Another fool pays for his arrogance. A tale as old as time. Gale: Arrogance? Ambition, rather. And ambition is a fine thing – until suddenly it no longer is. Then again, if that is how you judge me, there’s little I can do to change your mind. But know that I have this ambition still. First to save myself, and after that, the licence to dream. (Gale Disapproval)

We could interpret these lines as the only ones so far that may suggest that Gale is still wanting something from the goddess. We know due to the tadpole dreams that Gale’s desire is Mystra. On the comments of the second tadpole dream we know more details about his major desire: it is not just Mystra, but her forgiveness.

Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: She's... It doesn't matter. I just know her to be unreal. Tav: What's impossible about what you're been shown? Gale: Forgiveness Tav: Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams? Gale: It's indeed Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. I told you that I lost her. Lost her favour and lost so many of the powers I took for granted. What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence. Mystra has not changed her mind about me. That's how I know our dreams are delusions.

I think this scene shows the difference between a standard desire for power as a means, and power for the sake of power itself (since this power allows Gale to be one with the Weave). The scene is ambiguous enough to see it as Gale wanting to return to Mystra’s side as well as remaining as an ardent devotee of her (because she is magic herself). I keep repeating that these scenes show that Gale’s most important thing in his life is Magic, which is Mystra: the extension and the embodiment of magic. So his desire for her seems impossible to be extinguished completely. In previous scenes we saw that he certainly had thought through the idea of loving her more like a devotee than a lover, but certainly the weight of being his first love will remain, especially since she is deeply related to magic itself.

During the Party Scene we find some information about his feelings for Mystra. 

I personally ponder the book of Amn’s description as very important because, from a narrative point of view, it's a lot of lines/content that, if they were not important, tend to be removed from the script. If they are there, they are meant to be interpreted. For this reason those lines mean to me that Gale has finally embraced the idea of having something important with a mortal. In my post of the "Party Scene" I go into details, but here I will stick to the interpretation related to Mystra: all what Gale numerates in that book are things that he could not access to with a Goddess. Curiously, part of those descriptions are things that make humans human, so I personally think it reinforces Gale's intention in heading into this romance with the eagerness of finding some shelter (never forget the “orb” has a constant oppressing effect in him, increasing his anxiety and fears) and to experience (maybe for the first time) the love of a mortal.

So, for some assumptions made in the post of the "Party Scene", we suspect that Gale needs to share a night to feel confident enough to speak the details of his “orb” condition. Since he wants this relationship to be strong (after all, he implied commitment during the description of the book) he speaks about the true origin of the “orb” immediately after that night, starting with Mystra (which is, after all, the true origin of his folly). Depending on the version that Tav picks, we have extra information provided by Gale about his emotions for the Goddess:

Tav: What did Mystra’s attention feel like? Gale: Love. Perhaps it was not quite love, but you see, the wizard was but a very young man. It was most certainly love to him. [...] One day all too soon, the whispers stopped. The goddess spurned the mortal. [...] and the wizard was left behind heartbroken. Tav: I hate to say it, but he really could have seen this coming Gale: He was blinded by love. Good stories are rife with lovers’ follies after all.

[Short Version] Gale: Before long Mystra tired of me. What was I after all but a mortal plaything in sacred hands? You have to realise I was heartbroken. I was a young man, she was my first love. I thought it would last forever. I vowed to win her back.

[after explaining the mistake of the “orb”] Gale: It is this folly that led Mystra to abandon me completely. I can only hope you won’t abandon me as well. After all we’ve been through.. After the night we spent together. Surely we can brave even this side by side

Gale is giving a very detailed context about his love for Mystra: she was his first love, and the first love tends to have a special weight in a person's life and their memories. That doesn't mean the person has become unable to build more relationships for the rest of their life. If we add the fact that he was very young when all this happened (more details in the Post "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1") we find him under two effects: the impression of the first love and the naivety of the youth. Both elements made him believe it was a love that was going to last forever. With a Goddess, no less.

Besides, Gale expresses this, highlighting his naivety and foolishness: he is aware of how silly he was back then, and how impossible it could be for a mortal to keep the love of a goddess. He is a pragmatic and realistic character, after all. He recognizes in the end that he was just a mortal plaything for her. 

I think these pieces of information give us a very clear context of his emotional state: he is still nostalgic for Mystra because of all the reasons I enumerated above; she is also more than just a woman, she is Magic itself. But he is aware that those emotions were the consequence of a very naïve and young self that has awakened by the burden of his own mistakes. There is also a reinforcement of “forever”, which recalls the concept of commitment that Gale pursues so much in his romance: he is not there just for the sex “intimacy”, he is there for serious commitment, maybe because he doesn't want to experience another abandonment. After all, we are talking about a character with a profile that shows abandonment issues (see the post of "Gale Hypotheses- Part 1", section: "Abandonment Issues")

[If rejected] Tav: No. This is too large a betrayal. GALE: I see. I am sorry. I am sorry that it had to come to this. All that’s left to say is farewell. Dev’s notes: hurt but understanding Gale: Farewell. (Leaves) Dev’s notes: A slight hesitation, hurt but understanding. He makes a polite little bow, then we see him walk away.

[If accepted] Gale: I don’t know what I did to deserve the magic that you do. 

Despite being terribly cheesy, this last line shows that Gale was more than convinced that Tav would abandon him because he doesn’t deserve Tav. This is why he doesn't put up much fight if Tav chooses to tell him to leave. He will try to make Tav listen to his story, and once it's done, the verdict will fall and he will accept it. He learnt his lesson with Mystra. This line also shows how everything important around Gale is or has to be worded with magic, even a silly metaphor like this is related with the word “magic”: Tav's acceptance is like magic. For him, as important and good as magic itself.

As if that were not enough, after the scene there is a comment in which Gale will reinforce his gratitude for Tav's acceptance:

Tav: If you ever feel the netherese magic overtaking you, what will you do? Gale: If it should ever come to that... if I ever know I am no longer able to stop it... I will do anything I can to ensure no one but me pays for my mistakes. I will find the remotest place on the surface of Faerûn, or perhaps far below in the depths of the Underdark. I will await that death alone. [*] I promise I will not betray your trust... You kept me by your side despite the menace that I am. If worst comes to worst, I will be gone long before the curtain falls.  [*] If romanced, Gale will say here "I cherish you."

Which makes me suspect that Gale can disappear at any moment (in full game) if for some game mechanics we are unable to get magical artefacts but the deal with Raphael did not happen (if that’s even possible). But that's just me speculating. Nothing in EA seems to suggest this. What i's clear is that acceptance—that strong concept in the book he put so much emphasis on—is really important to him, so he shows gratitude for that: he promises to protect Tav (and many innocents) from his own mistake. He also says pretty soon an equivalent of “I love you”, in a more formal/meaningful way: “to cherish” is not just to love, but to care/protect as well. 

Finally, in case someone lost those hints, or maybe as a consequence of this unpolished scene, we have a direct question with a direct answer:

Tav: Gale, are you still in love with Mystra? Gale: I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know. She is my muse still, the embodiment of magic, but the embodiment of love? Only if we ever meet again will I know

Gale simply says what we have been inferring so far with all the previous information: Gale reinforces the idea that he will remain as a strong, loving devotee of Mystra, because she is magic. I personally don't even consider it possible to remove that love from him. He may not be a cleric, but he loves his deity as one. But he also learnt his lesson that loving gods has its own dire consequences for mortals. He is very aware of it during the discussion about Karsus:

Tav: Nothing good ever comes from mortals wanting to be gods. 

Gale: Loving them has its side effects as well. Now, so many centuries later, I tried to follow in the footsteps of Karsus, not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her. It tried to control only a fraction of the magic that was unleashed that fateful day. I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown. Gale's Folly one might call it. History. Repetition. It's the way things go.

Once more, there is no scene where Gale doesn't reinforce that what he did was a mistake, a foolish action, a Folly. 

Finally, if talking about a previous lover immediately after awakening with a new one was of poor taste, Gale acknowledges this, giving an honest apology:

Gale: Before we go on though, do first let me apologise. To share such a night with you only to tell you of a previous lover the next morning... It wasn't the most gentleman-like behaviour. But I had to finally tell you. Silence would have been far worse behaviour still. Nevertheless, I am sorry.

He accepts any rude response or lash-out from Tav without approval penalties. This is an interesting meta-knowledge that speaks about owning up to his mistakes. Unlike the Loss scene, where rude responses made Gale disapprove because Tav was judging him without knowing the whole story [16], in this scene he doesn’t. Now Tav has the whole picture, and he accepts whatever reaction Tav shows. Of course he will approve a forgiving Tav, since Gale is a character very related to forgiveness [12, 12b].

Conclusion: 

So, answering the question that gives title to this section: yes. In my opinion, Gale loves Mystra. But it’s not a white-and-black love; it has the complexity of human love mixed with this crazy lore of deities in Forgotten Realms. I believe Mystra will always be part of Gale's life, because the Weave and magic are his life, and she is both. He will always love her as a devotee, even though he now understands the mistakes of his young self and seems more aware of how naive he was when he was a “very young man”. The comments on the second tadpole dreams explicitly show that what Gale wants the most is Mystra’s forgiveness, but at the same time, he knows that he does not deserve it. And this raw realistic view of himself is what makes him understand that those dreams are illusions. During the party scene he is uncertain about his emotions, but still he emphasises that there is a big chance for him to not see Mystra as the embodiment of love any more but reinforces that she will always be the embodiment of magic to him (a very important concept in his character design). 

Whether Gale is romanced or not, I don't see a difference in the information he shares on this matter in EA.

This post was written in June 2021. → For more Gale: Analysis Series Index

#bg3 meta #gale #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms pt4

Part 3 here! <-

The tales had be interesting. The tales had even been emotionally gripping, yet all of them so far didn’t seem to register at the moment as Ruby’s teammates looked at her with the same excitement she used to give her own mother during story time. Ruby couldn’t help but give a little smile.

Ruby:I take it you’re ready for my turn? You do know it’s not exactly a sunshine and rainbows story, right?

Weiss:We figured as much, but....

Yang:You’re so different! From the moment you showed up I could just feel it in my gut. You have this...presence about you. Not to mention intsene confidence.

Blake:Yang is right. You said you beat your Salem when your seventeen. That’s...scary if I’m being honest. Such a drastic departure from any of our worlds.

Ruby:*red* Hehehe ummm I guess I’m just awesome? Really I don’t think it’s the most outstanding feat. At least by my worlds standards I suppose. I mean sure, I’m consider cream of the crop there too but there’s talented people and challenges all over that would put me through my paces still. I’m just...me.

Weiss:Sigh...honestly, I suppose that means our own skills must pale in comparison to our counterparts.

Ruby:Mmmm I wouldn’t say that for sure. My Yang would kill me if she heard this but there’s something about the one right here that has spark I dig.

Yang:Really?

Ruby:Uh huh. Can’t put my finger on it but I think you take her if you want it bad enough. As for Weiss....couldn’t tell ya. Haha, I know better than anybody to not underestimate the power of mother, and you pumped twins out.

Weiss:Not sure if those are pity points or real ones but thanks either way.

Blake:You don’t even have to tell me I’d lose. Just gave an entire story about me an my condition.

Ruby:Don’t feel too bad about it. I can’t imagine much reason for you two to fight for any reason. You’re both too reasonable to not reason with yourself.

Blake:Aw I’m touched.

Yang and Weiss:We aren’t....

Ruby:Hahaha I’m just saying! So, I guess I take things from the top like you all? From what I learned from all of you our Beacon experiences really are more or less the same, not counting certain interactions between a bookworm faunus and an adorkable blonde knight. Enrolled early, blew up the entrance, Weiss was rude, Yang ditched me, all the same beats.

Yang:There’s no super badass change like you beating Cinder the night of dance and making our entire lives easier?

Ruby:Ha! I wish I was that legit. No, I was very much the young girl tripping in heels that night. Vytal festival came around and was attacked, then Beacon fell. Pyrrha was lost and so was Penny. Difference being that was my last time seeing her, unlike Weiss’s story apparently.

Weiss:Yeah that...that’s a little bit of shock to be frank. Sorry.

Ruby:No worries. Not like you did anything and it was decades ago for me now. After that day is when I started to get a bit more serious I think. I had always taken being a huntress seriously and never slacked of in trying to live my dream. However, my perspective may have honed in on just how do or die life his when you’re the one choosing to walk into unknown danger. Team RNJR’s first and only mission, save the world!

Yang:Sub mission: Flirt with Jaune Arc.

Ruby:*blushing* We do not choose who we fall in love with it. But yes, that may have been a personal pseudo mission for me. He’s my first friend at Beacon for crying out loud and I you know.....thought he was cute then too.

WBY:Yeah that checks out.

Ruby:What does that mean!?

Weiss:Ruby, even my Ruby admits to finding Jaune attractive and having a crush on him back in the day.

Blake:Same.

Yang:I already went into enough detail on how my little sister feels about Jaune. Your just the reality where you pounced on the opportunity and never let go. Struck when the iron was hot and none of us were around; sly fox.

Ruby:Gee you make it sound underhanded. It isn’t like I intended to actively pursue him. Everyone was really sad and stressed traveling to Anima. There was a tension in the air. One that really strained us. I did my best to keep focus, but a leader is only as put together as team. Ren and Nora confided one another as usual and I tried being there for Jaune because seeing him emotionally shut down was rough; so I did my best to be there for him. Then...he ended up being there for me and I was the one who needed comfort. All the airing out and late nights just...led to....*red*

Blake: “Breaking the tension?”

Ruby:I guess that’s one way of putting it. We were lonely. I hid my feelings best I could under the veil of comfort in the moment. Not that needed to. He made it pretty clear that he wanted me in the same way I wanted him. I just the two of us were too scared to ask for promises we weren’t sure we could keep so we loved in the moments we could, so to speak.

Weiss:If it wasn’t under dire situations, all that sounds oddly romantic.

Ruby:Right!? Looking back at it makes the entire thing seem romantic but I definitely wouldn’t wish a similar experience on anybody! I guess it’s what I wished for when I fantasized huntress life huh? Things obviously got better along the way. Our relationship got a bit more serious right before we got to Haven. Then Tyrian and other crazy stuff happened that threw all of us into panic mode again before slowly getting better again by a lot.

Yang:We showed up?

Ruby:Bingo! You and Weiss, met Oscar, and then eventually Blake came back. Things were on the up and up.

Weiss:Uh, Haven attack?

Ruby:We lived, up and up. Yeah you got stabbed but you know...that’s not new I’m sure.

Weiss:Yeah I have the scar and I’m still little pissed.

Ruby:Valid. Anyways, so my Atlas experience was different as hell. There was no formation of Remnants armies like Weiss spoke of or even between two kingdoms like Blake. Yang, what happened yours again exactly?

Yang:Nonsense. Cinder showed up with lackeies but not Salem’s lackies. Those people showed up separately, then Adam came back from wherever the hell he- a lot! A lot of people showed up for different reasons but also the same reason and to be frank, we all almost got shot by the military for being in bases that quote unquote, “didn’t exist.”

Ruby:Man I wish we traded. That at least sounds crazy enough to be fun. Just a rollercoaster in the dark basically. My experience was probably as hectic, but also way more streamlined. We showed up, and then all hell broke loose. Specially a mass grimm invasion lead by Cinder and her annoying associates. We were there for about three weeks updating General Ironwood and getting our barrings together when it happened. I wanna call it a hit and run tactic but it was clearly planned in advanced. Mechs were hacked again, traitors in the military, grimm lying in wait before hand; it was chaos! All for the relic.

Blake:Who was the maiden?

Ruby:Never met her. By the time we got there, Ironwood was panicking because she had vanished, taken right from under his nose. It was some young girl apparently, really young. The attack on Beacon looked like child’s play to this. Mantle got attacked, grimm were on the chains, they tried dropping Atlas to the ground; all a diversion for a relic. We all should’ve died, and yet, we didn’t. Winter and Weiss weeded out traitors, huntsman and military held the line, Yang bested Hazel with Nora, Qrow and I cut down Tyrian! Ren, Blake and Jaune helped the kingdoms while Ironwood struck down Watts. Nobody was in the mood to die that day. There wasn’t gonna be another Beacon. By all means, we were pissed. Even Raven showed up of all people.

Yang:What!?

Ruby:You can’t attack a kingdom without the world knowing. Especially when traitors leak info. Honestly she came for you though, or she never left to begin with. Couldn’t tell ya. Thanks to Maria I had a bit more handling with my eyes. That helped a lot. Without them and Os-

She stopped herself, choking on the words. The zest and excitement of recalling the heroic feats of her friends dimmed slightly with her smile. Her joyful smile became bittersweet like the memory.

Ruby:Then there was Oscar, the real warrior on that flamed filled night. That battle had to have been three days at least. We were so driven, and so tired. I was tired, but Cinder, Neo, and the others with her at the time weren’t; always showing up at the worst time. I managed to push Cinder back in a fight but grimm and others still swarmed. We were at a point that grimm very well might’ve did us in and the villains didn’t have to push any harder. But Oscar changed that. Hehe, what’s it about country folk that makes people like him and I not hesitate to grit our teeth? That dork looked at me, gave me the biggest smile on the the steps to Atlas, and then he left. His hair went white as he twirled the cane and then he left, forever. Oz came out, and he left nothing to the imagination. “Limited magic” my butt. He obliterated grimm and made a barrier aroma Atlas while everyone else cleared Mantle long enough for the world to send reinforcements. Salem didn’t get the relic, but she got the maiden and thousands of casualties. Oscar being one of them. Also, Whitley....he was in critical condition for a very long time.

Weiss:What do you mean...critical condition?

Ruby:Everything happened so fast Weiss. Panic was high, buildings fell....a piece on him. I wasn’t there but when I eventually found you, you were nearly hysterical and banged up. By some miracle he lived even though we could not reach him and he did not get aid for awhile. We thought him dead. It was only after everything we learned somebody got him. Being rich never paid off more than with medical bills. Thanks to youth and medicine he can still walk, but he can only do so much before being tired. He also left Atlas. The cold hurts.

Weiss:So, I run the company because he can’t?

Ruby:I wouldn’t put it that way, but it was one of dozens of reasons that made that goal stronger for you. Relax though, both of you get plenty of time to be witty siblings like I told you earlier.

Weiss:I know. It’s just, I guess it’s hard imagining Whitley hurt like that. I don’t think I could handle it.

Ruby:You definitely teetered in the moment. Knowing that happened though probably gave you anger and grit to fight the entire battle. You were a beast. Scarier than Winter. Anyways, that hollow victory was a real wake up call for the world. They didn’t know about Salem and we never told society in earnest. Cinder and other conspirators were enough to make Remnant work together to boost defense. Relief went to places that needed it and I, became the face of hope. Haven, Argus, Atlas, even people from Vale got to chattering of a particular group of people who always seemed to answer the call for help. Then the towns in between chattered. Yours truly had been carving a name in the history books and was only gain popularity the moment I stepped into Vacou, alone.

Blake:Alone!?

Weiss:What!?

Yang:Where were we!!!!!?

Ruby looked at surprised faces around the table, smiling tenderly. She looked down her dress and pulled out the cross she wore around her neck. Her thumb traced its edges as her mind began wandering down an old path paved with emotions raw to the core.

Ruby:I’ve always felt different. Not just because of my eyes but that there was just...a certain spark that never stopped going off for as long as I remember. There are plenty of people who can’t bare to watch others suffer, but there are fewer people I believe that truly feel the agony of other people’s pain. Beacon, Haven, Atlas, Argus; there was no place I went that I didn’t see the faces of others lamenting, and I didn’t make me want to grieve. Atlas took so much out of all of you and I just felt so....driven to stop that ache. For everyone’s sake, but mine as well. I wanted the world to finally get to the happy ending. Enough trauma had be sowed for a hundred lifetimes, so I went on ahead of everyone. I never doubted you all would follow but I wanted to get ahead of the curve and take on as much of the suffering I could do others wouldn’t. If the world wouldn’t give me a miracle than I’d be it myself for everyone else.

Yang:That’s suicidal! Salem wanted you specifically!

Ruby:It’s not like I went marching up to her door and said “1v1 bitch, I’m here” no, I just chose to move forward quicker than what we were all doing. Believe me, all of you were upset when you caught up, after I had already saved Vacou. *smiles* I really like that place. I told the people it was the next target and all they did was double down on pushing back. I managed to pin down the Summer maiden before the villains and thanks with the city on alert, there wasn’t a shift in the sand that didn’t go unnoticed. I got the jump on Mercury and Emerald, personally paying them back. Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. It didn’t take long before they realized how screwed they were with them being outed like this and Cinder having the nerve to retreat before hand. Both of them threw in the total, outing the plan against Vacou. A wipeout of a win. Not to mention they told me the location Salem’s little hiding hole.

Weiss:We missed all of that?

Ruby:That’s what happens when I leave in the dead of night and running on adrenaline. Like I said before, people were tired. As much as all of you wanted to hoof it, other’s were relying on you. Atlas almost dropped for gods sake. Eventually when you all caught up it was at a good time. Soloing was rewarding but difficult. Fortunately Sun, Neptune, Ilia, and a few other familiar faces were close by if I needed an extra set of hands. My little stunt earned the anger of everyone for awhile.

WBY:Yeah no shit...the leader left.

Ruby:Yang was the most upset, followed by Uncle Qrow, and you Weiss. I was ready for the blowback. Jaune and Nora saw me though and bursted into tears. Hehe, wasn’t ready for that. Felt terrible and cried back. To prevent that stunt again, my Yang convinced Raven to link me. A couple days of apologizing and rest smoothed things over. It also gave time for just a few close friends and colleagues to get together for an assault on Salem’s castle. A few were apprehensive about it at first but at the end of the day I was going. That attitude was infectious apparently. You guys, actually everybody, they started getting this hunger to end it all. Maybe it was the high of victory? Regardless, it sent me racing to the end with those that I loved most.

Yang:You’re a real “my way or the highway” kind of Ruby. I don’t get how that explains what made you so...elite.

Ruby:I’m not sure what to say. A fight needed to to fought so I fought it. A cry for help was heard so I ran to it. A grimm needed slaying so I slayed it. People needed me to win so I didn’t dare think of losing. Dying was never option, even when it stared me right into my eyes. I had things I wanted to do and people I wanted see for years to come. I guess...I am strong because of the fact I want things my way. A moment I’m not giving it 110% is a moment wasted. After all, a huntress is all I ever wanted to be.

A single dream she wanted since birth. The never ending desire to be the hero in stories told to her many nights ago. That’s all it ever was. That’s all it’s ever been. Even in meadow of beautiful red roses, one would be the rose that captured the eyes of many, that bloomed stronger than the rest. As simple as it was, that had to be the answer here. Weiss, Yang, and Blake were in front of that flower. The Ruby Rose that simply bloomed stronger than the rest. The one that clung to her dream as if letting go meant dying itself. The devotion was inspiring, yet also overwhelming. If this was Ruby they had lead them that day in the Emerald Forest, could they have kept up? Could she be the leader they followed? No, they couldn’t have. Something deep down inside them gave them that answer. No matter how she looked and how much she loved, this Ruby Rose was cut from a cloth they simply weren’t off. The same as others, but oh so different.

Weiss:You’re....kinda a monster, you know that right?

Yang:Seriously, I’m so...floored. It’s intimidating.

Blake:Not to mention humbling. I used to think I gave it all I had. Now I’m not so sure.

Ruby:Oh don’t be like that you three! You’re all living proof there was more than way to go about life, this war! Everything you gave was enough because you’re done with it! Nobody failed. Besides, I...am far from ideal. The assault was challenging. Getting around hoards of grimm and making it to Salem was hell made real. Neo tried taking another shot at me but Yang held her off with help. Everyone pushed the obstacles in front of me out of the way as I went to Salem herself. Cinder had been abandoned by her and stripped of a lot of her powers. Angry and desperate, she tried killing me again as a way to prove worth. I beat her. However, I let her walk away.

Yang:What!? Why would-

Ruby:Naive, I was...naive okay? She was all spent and though I hated her, I just couldn’t. Not when I looked into her eyes and saw that same hunger I had to claw and scream at my dream until it was in my hands die inside her. We both knew from this point on there was absolutely nothing she could do where this ends her way. All she worked for turned burned to ash. So I gave her the choice to not burn up with it. Cinder swallow her pride and then fled. A part of me couldn’t help but rationalize killing her didn’t solve or justify any of my beliefs or desires. It would’ve done it because I hated her like she hated me. That was the dumb logic of a seventeen year old who never quite learned to take things slow.

Blake:....I don’t think it’s dumb. Naive for sure, but maybe that’s good? Even my Ruby, she never wanted to act on hate. She didn’t. Salem lives.

Weiss:Mine sent her soul to be at piece instead of passing a cruel judgment.

Yang:As a person who’s seen what you looked like with nothing but vengeance inside, I can say it doesn’t fit you. Before that day you had a warmth inside you to even foes that were somewhat admirable. You chose to leave Cinder’s fate up to those who had that hate and Salem was undone by her own doing at the very end. That’s what really makes you special Ruby. That’s why you’re called an honest soul. Good will is your nature.

Ruby:....Hmm, you sure know how to butter me up. *scratches head* I guess that part of me is uni-I mean multiversal. Strangely, that makes me feel better, to a degree.

Weiss:Do we even have to ask what happened to Salem at this point? I doubt the story ends with you loosing and having to retreat.

Ruby:Who’s to say it doesn’t? I could’ve been beaten to death before the gods themselves descended down to revive me with awesome power.

Yang:....Did you?

Ruby:Wh-No! Haha, I made her an immortal statue.

Blake:I-It was that easy?

Ruby:Well I wouldn’t call rushing into hell’s castle easy, or Salem. I lit her up at least a dozen times. My head pounded from each use, I was tossed around a bunch, magic is annoying, and not to mention running out of ammo. I left nothing to the imagination in that fight. If it were easy then I wouldn’t be rooting my horn and my age doing it. I was so tired I blacked out afterwards. I woke days later with a sore body and the title of “Remnant’s Savior.” Apparently beating Salem had weakened the grimm everywhere and all of you made sure who was to be thanked for it. That’s the tale of how I saved the world with my friends. Love, trust, elbow grease, and a lot of bullets. Before the final battle, Ozpin had struck a deal with everyone involved. In return for saving the world, he’d cut ties with us.

Yang:Seriously? What brought that about!?

Ruby:Good or not, he lied and was a schemer. Sure I was gonna try to save the world regardless of his interference but there wasn’t a person alive that didn’t to finally take a step towards the future after all this. All of us finally had time chase dreams and help the world the way we wanted to before all of this. Blake begin mending hate, Weiss took back her company, if Yang wasn’t with Blake then she was seeking more answers to Raven on wild adventures.

Yang:You mean Raven still left after all that!?

Ruby:In her defense, both of you made everything fucking awkward when she was around. It’s like you both wanted to talk about something but knew any subject was a land mine so you all you ever did was...stare, like weirdos. Glad that’s in the past. She just lives with dad now and you two now to hold a conversation. I dare not ask for more. I’d be a granny by the time I did.

Yang:Sigh...I don’t know what I expected. Shit it the fan several times and children were born before mom and I found solidarity and understanding. What did you do afterwards? Your goal was already met.

Ruby:Like hell it was! I started busting my butt traveling around the world, visiting every place to help in anyways I could. Ren and Nora tagged along for awhile before going off to make an orphanage in Anima near Ren’s old village. That left Jaune and I to do our hero thing.

Yang:As well as other things....

Ruby:Hey, what can I say? We were young and going up in the world. By the time I was nineteen, I was now a married to my partner and best friend.

Weiss:Uhhhh-

Ruby:He’s my partner on RNJR and you’re my BFF, gosh did I really need to explain that hehe?

Weiss:I just had to make sure. Crazier twists could happen.

Blake:Wow you married young. Not that there’s a problem but I’m surprised. Then again you also dated earlier than my Ruby. Hehe, weapons were on her brain for a long time.

Weiss:No kidding. When I learned about you crushing on my brother I was shocked to find out you liked anybody in general. Especially a person who isn’t a weapon nut in the slightest.

Ruby:*shrugs* All you’re telling me is I’m clearly the most impatient or impulsive Ruby you all know. Don’t know how that happened. Maybe I was dropped as a baby or had one too many coffees growing up?

Weiss:I’m willing to bet it’s both.

Ruby:Ruuuuude. So yeah, that’s...the story of how I saved the world and married Jaune. We even built a home just outside Vacou, overlooking the kingdom and neighboring town in the distance where Maria grew up. Yeah, that’s me....more or less. All the triumphant parts anyways. Anything later on is......

.......

Blake:R...Ruby? You okay?

Ruby:Nope, not really. *clenches cross*

Yang:......You know, I never really got religion, especially after learning the truth. It just seemed completely hollow when you learn of the real gods, ya know? However, I changed my tune a bit after being a parent and then some more when uncle Qrow died. It was never really about the truth behind if those other gods were real-

Ruby:It’s the piece of mind in believing in a better place for loved ones and having people watch over you. It’s truly based on blind faith in every sense but that’s okay as long as it gives peace of mind, to stay strong. Yeah....that’s why I wear this.

Yang:If that’s the “why” then I guess the unavoidable question is what happened?

The reaper leaned back in his chair, letting out a long sigh. Ruby brushed her hair out of her face while her face went pale. Then, Ruby’s eyes, her teammates watched a pair of stunning silver eyes dim, becoming akin to a clouded mirror.

Ruby:Being a huntress was all I wanted. The plan of having a family and settling down never appealed to me much. I feel, I felt like being in the field was where I was meant to be. It’s where I was most myself in a way. So the day I learned that I was pregnant was more than a little upsetting and terrifying, until dad and time itself filled me with the most genuine joy I may have ever experienced. Dustin Arc Rose, my first born son. He opened a door to a world and life I never knew I wanted to be apart of. Then...that door was shut minutes after, when Cinder and Neo stole him right from my arms. I couldn’t do a single thing about it other than blackout. That single act of good will I showed, it did nothing but kill me inside. The same way I did to her.

WB:.....

Yang:Ru-Ruby....your eyes.

Ruby:Hmm? Are they clouded? Funny, I would’ve thought your Ruby would’ve had a similar change. Maybe that’s a world exclusive thing, or a testament to the will you Ruby has to endure. Clouded eyes on a silver eyed warrior means the person has lost the desire or rather the mindset of persevering life. Be it their own life or wanting to end another’s life out of resentment, strife. My entire world fell apart when I woke up and learned nobody was able to retrieve Dustin. I was in pieces, Jaune was broken, nobody was the same. There wasn’t a soul we didn’t know that hadn’t tried to find a lead, but we never did. He was just...gone; and I couldn’t cope at all.

Weiss:I don’t think any mother could. Ruby, I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Ruby:I’m sorry too. I lashed out in anger, and shut people out. My eyes clouded and I dove into my work for a little over a year doing nothing but searching aimlessly as I took and every job back to back. The more time went by meant the more people eventually had to go back to their own, and it drove me up a wall inside. No one could reach me. I didn’t want anybody to. Not even Jaune. I....*teary eyed* I left him alone in house. There was no part of me that could even attempt to understand his pain because I was drowning in mine. I was told he tried his best to catch them at the hospital. I never hated him for not succeeding but I...he... I just, I can’t. I don’t know what I thought. All o knew was I didn’t even want him to touch me. How cruel is that? *hugging herself* I made him drown in despair in the same way I was. I wasn’t home so often that I never realized he eventually left it abandoned to live with dad. Yang and Blake I didn’t even show up to your wedding. Jaune did that much. Hell, Raven attended. Ruby Rose as a person didn’t exist any more. I was only a wandering huntress looking for answers or the challenge that might’ve ended me.

Blake:What changed?

Ruby:Oz, he did what nobody else dared to do. He fought me. I don’t think he thought twice about it. He was prepared to accept all the anger I kept inside until I eventually broke down into tears like I’m trying not to do right now. Thinking about that time is still, extremely difficult. Oz let me lament, encouraging me afterwards to finally except the fact Dustin was gone and that I needed to process it properly. First I went to you Yang, in order to have a my big sis to lean on. Can you guess how that went?

Yang:With me holding you tighter than I ever had before.

Ruby:*smiles gently* I don’t deserve you. You and Blake then came to patch with me where everyone else waited for me and helped me face Jaune. That may have been the hardest thing I’ve done. Grieving or not, the fact that I left him in such a state. I know what that does to people firsthand and yet I left. For the first time in over a year we embraced and finally grieved together. The next two years were spent trying to heal and cope. During my time away the world had fully acknowledged me. I even got a proper nickname, but it all felt hollow. Imagine that, achieving your dream but not caring? If that’s not salt in a wound then I don’t know what is.

Weiss:What’s your title?

Ruby:I am the person people want to see when evil comes to cut their story short. I am a symbol that their tale still has more to tell. Remnant has named me The Storyteller. Curtsey of Maria, who spread the name around. Healing was slow and most nights I felt a pain in my heart, but then everything changed. One moment made me dare to try again to open that shut door in my life. *looks at Yang* I held your son in my arms. Sweet little Kovu.

Blake:*smiles* Kovu? Now I wonder who named him?

Yang:*red* Huh...how about that? Hehehe, wish I could meet him. I know he isn’t technically mine but I can’t help but feel all warm now. Also I can’t believe I named him that!

Weiss:I can. Veronica’s middle name is Nala.

Yang:Okay, maybe not marrying Blake was a win? Clearly I can’t be trusted to not name my children after other cats.

Blake:The wrong kind of cat too. I’m a panther faunus, not a lion. Even if they’re blonde that’s still false advertising of what they are.

Ruby:Well Yang was the one giving birth so you lost a majority of the option to complain.

Blake:That is fair.

Weiss:You gave birth to Vee, so I think that solves who picked her first name.

Ruby rested her head in her propped up hands that rested on the table. She felt exhausted reliving that chapter of her life mentally. Still she managed to smile, then smile bigger. Her eyes unclouded and a warm feeling filling her again. What Ruby said earlier about what made her different may have reign true, but her friends could since that there was now more to it. Ruby had spiraled into an unimaginable tragedy, yet was able to bounce back thanks to loved ones. To smile as she does, it was truly a strong sight to see. Even if she wasn’t fully aware of that.

Ruby:Carmine Arc Rose, my second born and the first child to call me mommy. Followed many years later by itty bitty Garnet. He’s my little man, five years old while is big sis is seventeen now.

Yang:Damn! That’s a gap. Oh, also congratulations. Almost forgot that part. I’m glad you got to be the super awesome mom that-

Ruby:I am easily C-teir.

Yang:Oh come on! What!?

Ruby:Listen, I know I got on you all for calling yourselves bad parents, but I will hear no debate about me understand!? I flop a lot of times.

Weiss:That doesn’t make you a C-teir. That makes you a new mom, silly.

Ruby:*grumbling* I agree to disagree but thank you. It’s just a lot okay. Too much to dive into honestly.

Blake:Summarize. Give us an abbreviated version.

Ruby:Ummm so Carmine is real special kid. The absolute love I have for her is unbreakable but gods damnit if she isn’t the most... “me” I could be! In a way similar yet different from myself, Carmine has always had this sense of urgency in her and a love for the world around her. She recognizes that it’s a fragile piece we have and just how hard I’ve worked with everyone to make it. I could tell that from her when she was five. I’d sound crazy, but the fact she used her eyes at the age proves I’m not.

Yang:She has silver eyes!? Why didn’t you bring that up?

Ruby:I thought that was obvious. All of my kids were born with then. Unlike her baby brother though, Carmine was a weird little kid. She didn’t socialize well. Still doesn’t, she’s kinda comes off rude and cold because of her bluntness. She doesn’t really express all her feelings or understand others fully. One might call her a little cold but the passion she had to protect life itself is a testament to how much she cares. Carmine is also a genius fighter. To put in perspective, people use the same nickname for her that they used for Pyrrha.

WBY:Oh....

Ruby:Yeah! It’s not hyperbolic to say ever since Carmine is far beyond any skill I was at her age since she turned thirteen. You called me a monster earlier but no, I merely gave birth to a beast. I mean she could pass the huntsman exam at fifteen if I didn’t make her wait. I can’t call her arrogant, she talks with confidence because she has that right by all means. Still, besides her face, that’s where the similarities start separating; besides terrible grades in general stuff. We’ve never been in step completely. To put simply in her own words, “What I am is a hero, while she is a huntress.” That good will and mercy I try to give everyone isn’t how she rolls. It drives a real wedge that has resulted in us not going on missions together.

Blake:Is she...killing?

Ruby:She has before, and it had valid reasons entirely, but I also know for a fact she is more than capable of bringing down people without taking that step. Not all cases are that intense thank goodness. Her overall aggressiveness is the root of the problem. You don’t have to put you back into it when handling thugs. They aren’t Hazel.

Yang:Ooo okay, yeah I’m seeing what you mean now. It’s like that one comic you always read!

Ruby:Sigh...yeah she channels a bit of Batman energy and I need her to not do that all the time. I suppose being an honest soul isn’t particularly hereditary. It always feels like we aren’t enjoying each other’s company these days. I can’t blame her though. So....you know how all of you have had one serious problem that has both destabilized yourself as well as the kids and their relationship to you? *clouded eyes*

Weiss:Wait...you loosing a child wasn’t that?

Ruby:Oh it was. It just so happened that it never ended. It grew day by day. Night by night. Jaune and I were cautious with Carmine. Going as far to give her contacts and giving birth to her off the record and not at a hospital. Just in case Cinder came back. Well, Cinder and Neo came back, with my Dustin.

Nobody said anything. What do you even say to that!? All they did was let out a stifled breath and tried to gauge Ruby’s look of guilt.

Ruby:Yet again we had gotten too comfortable. It happened when Carmine was thirteen. I don’t think Garnet was even one yet. That’s when the cruelest realization hit me. My son had been alive and hearing about how his so called mother being a person who saves everyone, yet she never came for him. She had moved on, letting his eyes become clouded with such seething hate for the world she did save; the children she had after. It’s been four years since the day he attacked Carmine and helped grimm try to invade Vacou. To this day it’s been a life of staying on gaurd, searching for them as they popped up countless places to tear Remna- to tear me down and I can’t decide what part hurts the most. The amount of anger that prevents me from killing Cinder in a blink of an eye, or looking at my daughter who has told me herself that she is going to kill her older brother because I’m too weak to do so. That I’m in no way as good as the world believes me to be. *puts hood up* Like I said, C-teir mom, at best.

Blake:That’s- you can’t- there’s no way for you to reach him? Maybe if you-

Ruby:He looks at me the same way Neo and Cinder do, Blake. They raised him to hate me. Besides, he hurt Carmine. She’s just not gonna let that slide and frankly I shouldn’t either. Carmine acts tough and for the most part is, but gets terrified like everyone else. In many ways she’s still just a young girl that I wish had never chosen to become a huntress. If I had it my way she’d just be a normal girl with normal knees; but her mother’s weakness and inexperience wrapped her up in yet another war. It’s ironic. I barely remember mom and yet I ended up putting my family in very similar situation as if she lead instruction. Happy endings, I’m not sure if I get-

Yang:You’re better than mom....

Ruby:......

Yang:Yeah I said. Look I love Summer Rose but at the end of the day she wasn’t around, not that she didn’t want to be, but it’s the truth. Several years of pleasant childhood memories and a lifetime of grief is what she left me, and all you got were tales you should’ve experienced first hand. Ruby you have spent seventeen years loving your daughter unconditionally and being there for her no matter if it’s for better or worse. Yeah you might not being doing it perfectly and I have no idea how to even fathom your predicament, but at least you are there trying. Take it from me, that’s all a daughter ever wants from their mother. It’s also what makes a pretty kick ass dad. *smiles* Chin up, hero. Your story isn’t over yet after all.

Silence filled the air and Ruby’s throat ran dry. Ruby pulled out her scroll to go to her pictures and displayed one of her favorite photos for everyone to see. It was Carmine’s fifteenth birthday. Ruby didn’t lie about the resemblance. the girl had short blonde hair that stopped halfway down her neck in the back and was longer in the front, reaching shoulders. Like her mother, the tips of her hair transitioned to red. The beautiful young woman tried to her hide her smile but her gleeful silver eyes were practically twinkling with joy as Ruby hugged her tightly from behind and a tall, more solid version of Jaune was smushing one of Carmine’s cheeks with an overly dramatic kiss to it. A tiny child no older than three at most was in his big sister’s arms. Garnet had his mother’s hair and eyes but something about the chubby face definitely showed Jaune’s features. The child had red frosting on his face and was reaching eagerly for more cake somewhere out of frame.

Yang noticed the girl took page from her father and wore some regular cargo shorts, but clearly didn’t lack flair by wearing a red crop top that showed off a fresh tattoo of the Arc crest on her toroso. Knowing her sister, that tattoo was most likely practical. The family looked happy, proud; and the mother of it currently sat across the table crying with her head face down in her hands cwhile Weiss and Blake hugged her from each side. Roses may have thorns, anyone who knew roses knew a simple truth. They’re still fragile flowers.

Yang:(Carmine Arc Rose. For you and your mother’s sake, I hope things go well)

xxxx

Though Carmine seemed cold by nature, people were quick learn the opposite. The most recent learner of this was a scared little girl that held on for dear life. It was nighttime, nothing but the sound of pouring rain and the distant glow of red and the warmth of Carmine holding the girl against her body while she sprinted through a mud ridden forest. The little payed no attention to the pain in her side, but the glow of roses, eyes, and flames through her tear filled eyes.

Beowulves chased frantically but then severed immediately by something the girl couldn’t understand, but it looked like the person carrying her. The dead beasts brought no comfort. Not when more followed close behind.

Girl:I-I’m sc...scared!

Carmine:Don’t look at them sweetie, it’ll be fine. Just keep being a brave little girl.

Girl:M...Mommy was back there.

Carmine:.....I know, she’ll be just fine. Your village, there are plenty of people there that will be just fine! Huff..... You got a name?

Mary:Mary.....

Carmine:Oh that’s a beautiful name, Mary. You know I was almost a Mary? Yeah my grandma was a really amazing person and I almost got named something similar to her. Mary is a very strong name!

Mary:You’re a liar! I’m sad, not strong. I want my mommy! Everything his dark and hurts and I want her!

The girl began painfully crying as Carmine followed her trail of roses to avoid getting lost. Things were getting worse. The storm raged and she could feel this girl burning in her arms. Not to mention the unsettling warmth the mixed with the cold rain against her body and dripped to puddles below. Any grimm near by could only be dealt with by many copies of her nearby, but that would only go so far when fear was out full force. Carmine’s boots felt like cement, but she still ran.

Carmine:Mary, you know what do when I miss my mommy? I sing! Yeah, my mom sings the best lullabies that made me feel super strong when I was little! It’s a magic song that makes everyone strong. How about I sing it you and they can sing it your mommy later okay!? But you have to close your eyes to really focus on the words!

Mary:*sniffling* Okay....

Baby deathstalkers swarmed the path made ahead as small Nevermores dove at her. Out of options, Carmine broke from the path, trying to rely on memory to go towards the safe zone while also singing lyrics to her favorite song.

Dream of anything; I'll make it all come true.

Everything you need is all I'll have for you~

Carmine never wavered. No matter how badly her lungs her or nearly slipped, she kept singing all the way to her destination where several other clones were seen racing towards with more civilians to injured or young to go themselves. An orphanage where Nora and Ren stood outside rushing people in while Jaune was keeping the grimm at bay. The sight brought a little ease.

Don't worry, I've got you; nothing will ever harm you.

I'm close by, I'll stay here; through all things, I will be near~

Carmine finally reached Nora and passed off the girl who’s grip weakened overtime. A few lyrics in and Carmine knew she was singing mainly for herself.

Carmine:Get her medical attention! I’m gonna go and find more! There’s still-

Jaune:Wait, it’s too dangerous!

Carmine:I know! That’s why I have to go! That fire is spreading and there’s stragglers pinned down! Dad.....I’m pinned down!

Jaune tensed up and looked at Carmine. No scraps on her and her clothes only soiled by others. It didn’t take long to realize. The man resisted the urge to run out to the ruined town and stood firmly.

Jaune:Carmine...end it. We’ll worry about the consequences later.

Carmine:....Okay.

Across the woods amongst the flames the real Carmine stood bleeding and bruised in front of two Beringel that charged over the vanishing corpses of their fallen with more grimm, her sword stabbed into the ground supporting her weight. Behind all living people that remained finally managed to flee. All except for a woman trapped by house debris. The woman watched this young huntsman stand proudly again. She wasn’t sure what happened next. All she heard was one sentence.

“Close your eyes...” before everything went white. Next thing she knew, Carmine was lifting debris off her as rain and wind washed away any evidence. A relief she didn’t care about in the slightest. She neither had the strength, or the time too. Much like Carmine, who began to pant and teeter. It was clear to the woman that whatever just happened didn’t come without cost as she watched the girl fall to her knees. Though she tried moving, Carmine was spent.

Carmine:Don’t worry...we’re safe....let’s-

Woman:Go...

Carmine:Huh?

Woman:I...my legs. Everything...I can’t move. Just go. I d-don’t think I’d las-

Carmine:Don’t talk like that! The hard parts over! I can-

Woman:Barely walk. *smiles* It’s okay. I don’t blame you. You fought hard.

Carmine:.....I...I’m sorry. *teary eyed*

Woman:Say, I know that face anywhere. Your Lady Rose’s kid. Funny, I thought your eyes were red? My daughter, Mary, she loves your mother. Makes me kinda jealous hehe, but hey I love her too. *crying* Do you know if Mary made it? She was wearing-

Carmine:A black dress, pink ribbons in her hair...

Woman:Yes! Is she safe? I saw you- one of you carry her off.

Carmine:...She’s just fine.

Woman:Good. That’s all....that.....

The woman never finished her sentence. Carmine’s body fell limp on the ground, facing the rain. Even with the cold downpour she could feel the warmth of her own tears, containing her emotions best she could as she looked through her clones eyes to watch Nora take Mary away from the survivors and out of sight to not stir further panic.

Carmine wasn’t sure how long she layed there, but it was long enough for Jaune to find her. The man didn’t say a word. The town was in shambles. Grimm were still fading and his daughter looked tired, but not in serious condition. Unlike the those who didn’t make it. Jaune put Carmine in his arms, carrying her away to safety.

Carmine:......Does mom ever save them all?

Jaune:No, but that never stops her from trying; or mourning.

She clenched her father’s shirt and let herself be fragile, to be a Rose.

Carmine:Next time. Mom and I, we’ll both get it right next time. A happy ending for all!

Jaune:Yeah, I know you will. Together....

#rwby #rwby au #the void #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #carmine arc rose #rwby rosebud #rwby lancaster