#the downside is that because I’m not used to arguing with him either I do end up giving up very quickly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

binxyu · 3 years

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Desire. The word of many meanings. Lust? Money? People desire what they can not have. You? You desired power. The power to hurt those who had wronged you. San? He desired to have you and if offering you your desire would get him that then he was going to give it.

>>Pairing: Choi San (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | demon!san x power hungry!reader

>>Word Count: 3.6k

>>Genre: Oneshot / Smut

>>Warnings/Kinks: Demonic themes, yandere themes, bondage, branding, biting, blood play, choking, cockwarming, corruption, creampie, degrading, fingering, marking, murder (graphic), oral (receiving), overstimulation, size kink, slapping, and spitting/saliva

“Do it”.

The voice rang in your head as it always did. It was similar to a little devil on your shoulder. Someone telling you to do the worst you could do.

“Come on, sweetheart. You know you want to”.

You closed your eyes, the gun shaking in your grip. You had nothing against this person but the voice in your head knew how much you enjoyed the thrill.

The thrill of pulling the trigger.

The thrill of having the power to do so and end someone else’s life.

“We had a deal, baby. Each kill I help you with in your favor will result in one kill for me. Kill him”.

Your finger felt controlled, a silent pull to just come forward a little. Just enough to send a bullet into the man’s chest.

He looked at you with such pleading eyes, coated in the finest ocean blue that could have any other woman in his hands.

Not you.

You were in love with the voice in your head.

A voice you couldn’t explain. A voice that offered you power in exchange for completing their dirty work.

Finally, you let yourself fall to the desire and pulled the trigger, a bullet flying into the man’s heart.

“Good girl”.

It was a raspy voice, one full of authority and mischief. You knew the voice better than you knew your own family’s.

A wave of relief overcame you when the voice went quiet. You looked at the man in front of you and wondered what he could have done to have been so worthy of death.

The gun was placed back into your pocket once the safety was on and you simply walked out of the place. You couldn’t dwell on what you had done. It was all worth it in the end.

Miraculously, the deal between yourself and the voice was true and, as you killed upon their request, you gained more power. More reputation and strength.

There was odd downsides to this deal, however. Like the dreams that occurred every night.

Dreams about the same man that left you wanting so much more when you woke up.

“Oh, it’s you again”, your voice seemed to echo in your own bedroom as you looked at the familiar... creature.

“Who else would be here?”, there it was. The same voice that appeared in your head throughout the day.

You felt witless. He was right. No other thing or person visited the realm of your dreams as often as he did.

“You did well today”, was all he muttered when you remained silent. All you could do was stare at him as he walked closer.

His wings were a masterpiece on their own, a marvelous display of black. It was a beautiful way of showing he was rather symbolic of darkness.

His eyes glowed a blood red as they looked into your’s, his pupils blown out due to his hunger. You winced as his fingers gripped your jaw, tilting your face to examine you as if he was deciding if you were worthy of another night with him.

“You still won’t tell me what or who you are”, the creature chuckled, a sound so unfitting for him.

“You’ll find out soon”, and he was gone.

Another unspoken rule of the deal between you and the creature was isolation. You were not permitted to speak to others.

That much was clear when one of your co-workers was found drained of blood, a horrific sight to anyone but you. You had seen it before and that’s when you realized you were literally in a deal with a devil.

So, you avoided others in hopes that the little devil on your shoulder would keep quiet. No one would get hurt that way.

You were wrong. Horribly wrong.

You hadn’t realized but people slowly disappeared when they were around you. Just because the little devil wanted you all to himself.

“Y/n, come here. I need your help”, your boss ordered you and you felt an itch within you. An itch and desire for that control you were used to.

Reluctantly, you walked over and picked up the heavy box.

What is this guy moving? Rocks?

“Where to?”, your soft voice asked politely, sucking up to the man that could potentially give you more wealth than you could imagine.

“My office obviously”, his tone was cold as it always was and you nibbled your bottom lip in annoyance. You turned around, about to make your way out of the meeting room and to his office when you heard his screams.

Your head whirled around to see him on the floor, his finger pointing in sheer horror at something across the room. The door slammed behind you and your eyes finally found what he was screaming about.

“Hello baby”, there he was in all his unholy glory. The same man inside your head and your dreams.

“I figured I’d take care of your little problem here”, you shook your head, either from shock, fear, or denial. You couldn’t tell which.

“N-no you don’t have to”, the creature laughed at that and with a wave of his hand, the boss’s throat was slit. He quickly bled out and his body fell in a heap on the floor.

“I didn’t ask”, his smile was insincere, a warning to watch your mouth. You noticed it and shut up, noticing how his wings were not as perfect as they had been previously in your dreams.

The bone seeming to hold them together to his back was unnaturally bent, looking horrendous and painful. The feathers surrounding those areas were anything but perfect. Yet, he seemed effortlessly attractive.

“What do you want?”, your voice came out small and weak, a contrast to the usual powerful voice that came from your body. It was obvious the creature could take away your power just as he had given it to you.

“Surely you remember why I’m even here to begin with, little one”, the nickname shocked you as the memory resurfaced once again.

The shovel was cold in your grip, causing a bone chilling spark to run down your spine as you covered up the box. It was the standard recipe.

The bones of a dead black cat, a photograph of yourself, and graveyard dirt. All compacted in the small box now buried deep in the center of the crossroads.

You were younger at the time by a few years, a little more gullible. A little more desperate.

As the blood moon rose, you could feel the presence of someone else in the area. Well, more like something else.

The red light shun on him gracefully as he sat on the hood of your car, not caring how dinted it could become. Your eyes trailed down his body, engulfing any feature you could take in to remember him by.

At the time, his hair was a light brown and his eyes were not that blood red you had grown used to. They were a warm brown. They were so welcoming.

“Are you the devil?”, you wanted to keep your distance from him, but it felt like an invisible string was pulling you right to him. Your body soon stood in front of his own, barely away from being considered between his legs.

“No, little one. Just something awfully close. Now, what are you selling your soul for?”, the demon expected many things. Things he had heard so many times before. Money, love, saving, etc.

What he didn’t expect you to say was that you needed a way to get revenge on the murderer of your mother.

“What? You don’t strike me as the revenge type”, his infamous chuckle came after the words and you huffed. You hated being considered too weak or kind. People already played around with you for that reason.

“Are you going to help me or not?”, your hand found solace on your hip as you waited for his response. He hummed as if in deep thought before tilting his head in a teasing manner.

“Depends. What do I get in return?”, you noticed how his gaze had lingered on your hand, watching how it softly kneaded the flesh there.

“Keep our options open? You can have my soul or whatever you want whenever you want. I just want that man in the ground by the end of the week”, he didn’t expect the hint of sass in your tone but he loved it.

“I’ll need to put that in writing darling, but you have a deal”.

“Why did I not remember you before?”, you were sure you had never had that memory before now. The demon only smirked before walking towards you, his hands holding your waist. He rubbed them up and down as if he was memorizing every curve.

“I couldn’t have you running off. Besides, it was so precious to watch you think you had killed that man. You seemed so... proud”, he bit his lip, admiring you.

“It’s been you, hasn’t it? The voice?”, the demon nodded and took your jaw in his hold, tilting it every which way as if he was deciding to auction you or not.

“Yes. Your power comes from me and I think I’ve finally decided what I’ll be requesting for your end of the deal”, a thick lump formed in your throat, hoping that this wasn’t going to be your last day on Earth.

“You have been doing my dirty work for years now. No one is more fit to be my prophet than you. I want you to be mine. My little prophet”, your eyebrows furrowed as his words processed in your head.

“Prophet? For what?”, you had to sit down, walking over the body on the floor still and sitting on the desk.

“To be the next crossroad demon. Imagine it, baby. All the power you have now will be tripled, you’ll be immortal, and we’ll be together forever. I can tell you desire nothing more than power”, you found yourself nodding before you could even register any consequences. He had you at the power being tripled.

“How insatiable”, the demon tapped his fingers against the desk as he hovered over you, “if I didn’t know better than I’d consider you a deadly sin. I think you’re more greedy than actual greed is” before you could argue his lips were pressed against your own in a feverous manner. It filled your body with warmth from the tips of your toes to the very top of your head.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you kissed him back, feeling how his body got impossibly closer. You moaned into his mouth when you felt his crotch rub against your own.

“Unless you’re even crazier than I thought, let’s do this somewhere there isn’t a dead body”, he laughed once he pulled away, your eyes going to the forgotten body on the floor. Your cheeks went red as the demon picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist.

His wings wrapped around your body, encasing you in a makeshift shield as black smoke surrounded you both. His wings opened up to reveal your bedroom and you realized something as your back landed on the soft mattress.

“Wait- what’s your name?”, contrary to popular myths, demons had no trouble sharing their names. He had just simply forgotten.

“San”, his lips latched onto your neck, sucking and biting the skin there as if you already belonged to him.

“San”, you repeated, testing the name and a rumble came from the demon’s chest. It was so similar to a growl that you had to look around the room to make sure no animals were there.

“Fuck, say it again”, his hands gripped the thin fabric of your shirt but he waited.

“San. Please”, there was a hint of desperation in your voice and it was something San had never heard from you. It made his eyes go blood red for a moment.

“Are you sure you want this? It will change everything”, you stared into his eyes and, for once, there wasn’t any fear in you. They were warm as they stared back at you, a sure fire way of San telling you he would never betray you.

“I’m sure. Let’s be powerful together”, you nodded and the demon smiled, ripping the fabric of your shirt apart like it was just some dusty old rag. Your hands held onto his suit and then you remembered something.

“Can I see them?”, San stopped to ponder what you meant. That’s when you lowered your hands to the small of his back, your hands gliding over the cuts on his back. That’s when he knew what you wanted.

“I didn’t think humans liked them”, he chuckled as he took off his own shirt, his wings springing out soon after. He kept them tucked towards him to avoid hitting anything on your end tables and all you could do was admire them as you laid there.

“I love them. So beautiful”, your fingers gently stroked them, trailing along the curve of the bone as if to memorize the feeling of them under your touch.

San nodded with a sincere smile, one you had yet to see. It took you off guard but you loved it. San pulled up your skirt and groaned when he saw how wet your panties had become. They were stuck to your folds, showing everything to him.

“You’re so wet, baby”, you whimpered when he trailed his finger up your folds and back down again. He simply pulled the panties to the side and you gasped when you felt his spit coat your opening. He then plunged it into you with his tongue, thrusting it inside of you and swirling his tongue to cut your walls with his saliva.

That’s when he realized you were already clenching around him in absolute sensitivity and pleasure. He looked up at you as he slowly pulled his tongue out, watching how your eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”, you flushed red from the question no matter how simple it sounded. San already knew the answer but he still wanted to hear it from you.

“Yeah, I am”, you sit up a little on your elbows, expecting the demon to stop. However, all he did was smirk and thrust his tongue back inside of you, causing your head to fall back. He swirled his tongue, searching for that certain spot inside of you that even you had never found before.

His fingers pinched and rubbed at your clit as he prepped you, causing your sweet moans to fill the room. The only thing San could think about was how badly he wanted to ruin you.

Eventually, he felt you were ready and he replaced his tongue with his fingers, scissoring you open. Then, he hit it. That special spot deep inside of you with his middle finger.

“Right there! Please”, you had never felt so good and your back arched as San kept hitting that spot with his fingers over and over like clock work.

You clenched around his fingers and he kept his pace steady as you came all over his fingers, coating them with your juices. He had you ride out your high and watched as you shook from the stimulation, barely holding onto his humanity.

He took his fingers out and you whined, feeling so hopelessly empty without them there. San licked one of his fingers, humming from how sweet you tasted. Then, he had another finger in front of your mouth.

You opened your mouth and he put the digit inside, your lips closing around it as you sucked on it to taste yourself. You did taste perfectly sweet.

“Sorry sweetheart, I can’t wait any longer”, you gulped when you saw something inside the demon snap. His hands quickly pulled his belt off and he tied your wrists together with them, attached to the bedpost.

You were too in awe from the sight of his cock to even care about the rough leather rubbing against your skin, his tip red and angry, coated in pre-cum. You wondered how it would even fit.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be just fine”, before you could even wonder what he meant by that, his lips were on your’s as he lined himself up with your pussy. He slowly pushed in and you began to fill the pain until... you didn’t anymore.

It was as if the kiss was enough to blur your nerves and, before you knew it, San was all the way inside of you. The sight of his bulge was prominent in your stomach and, when he pulled away from the kiss, you could feel the tip brush against your cervix.

Your feelings rushed back in and you felt the stretch but it was no longer painful, your cunt used to being stuffed now. As he realized you were fine, San slowly started moving, groaning as your walls hugged his dick. You were so small in comparison to him and it felt perfect. You felt perfect.

Restraint inside of the demon slowly disappeared as he pounded into you, his hips snapping against your’s. His hand wrapped tightly around your throat when you got louder, squeezing it to cut off the air going to your lungs a little. Your eyes rolled back from all the pleasure and stimulation.

“Such a pretty whore. You feel so good”, San chuckled darkly, licking his lips as he looked down at you. Your breasts bounced from the force and he watched them, almost mesmerized by the movement as his tip continuously rammed into your g-spot.

You winced when San slapped you, a red hand imprinted on your skin. The sting only seemed to add to the pleasure and he noticed, deciding to slap your clit just as hard.

“Fuck! San!”, your breathing got caught in your throat as he continued to slap it, hitting the nerve over and over to watch your reaction. You clenched around him again as you began to feel overstimulated, the knot in your stomach releasing all over his cock.

San followed soon after, filling you up so much that you could see the bulge stay in your stomach even when he had pulled out. Your heavy breathing was all you were able to let out as San undid the belt.

You expected for it to be over but the demon simply gripped your hips and spread your legs to straddle his lap. You could feel his hard cock rubbing against your pussy lips and a rush of arousal went to your core again, his cum covering your thighs as it leaked out of you.

“It’s not over baby. I wanted to really look at you when I mark you”, your eyes went a little wide when San moved your hips to grind against his erection.

“Mark? What does that mean?”, San just shushed you and gave you his mischievous smile.

“You’ll see”, you were too needy to even care as you slowly lowered yourself onto his cock, feeling for the first time how it truly stretched you out. San gripped the back of your head and pressed his forehead against your’s in an attempt to distract you from any pain.

“Ride me and you’ll be all mine”, his words made you roll your hips faster even if you already knew you were putty in his hands. You were already his and have been. He made sure of that.

Soon, you began to get tired and San smiled, gripping your hips to keep you moving. He didn’t seem angry but you could tell his impatience was coming through.

“Useless whore. You can’t even ride a dick properly”, you looked down in embarrassment from his words. It was the only time you enjoyed not having control, when San had it.

The demon took control and thrusted up into you, controlling your movements to meet his own. The new position made your mouth hang open in a silent scream, your body too overwhelmed with pleasure to even let out sounds.

Even without words, San knew you were close with how your nails dug into his shoulders and your little cunt clenched around him. As you both approached your orgasms he nuzzled his face between your neck and shoulder.

You came together and he bit you, causing a scream to erupt from your body. Your body thrashed against him but he held you still as he slowly pulled his teeth out.

The bite slowly healed to reveal a distinct ‘S’ marked into your skin. San smiled and watched as the blood from the wound went down your body and stopped at the curve of your breast.

“Good girl. Finally being put to use”, the demon leaned his face down and licked up the blood from your breast to the mark on your shoulder, sending pleasant shivers up your body.

He was still buried inside of you as he maneuvered you both to lay down, spooning you to keep you warm.

“Now you’re all mine. Remember that. Or this deal may not last”, you could tell the end was meant as a threat. You belonged to San and that was that.

“I’m all your’s”, you nodded and closed your eyes, trying to calm your body.

“That’s right. Forever”.

“Even in-“, you were cut off when he pressed a kiss to the back of your head.

“Even in hell. Then it will be...”, he hummed as he thought.

“Infernal desire”.

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yeojaa · 3 years

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stay gold.

pairing. jjk x f!reader. rating. explicit. tags. blond!jk being a good boy? idk. that’s literally it. wc. 3k. beta reader. @hobi-gif, ofc. author note. this was meant to be pwp but i cannot shut up so here is this mess that is neither pwp nor something with a legit plotline. 🤠 blame blondie.

Having a content creator boyfriend is fun. Usually.

You get to go on cool trips, he gives you all of the random shit his sponsors send him, and you get to preen like a cat that ate the canary when his DMs blow up with hundreds of messages.

Sure, there are the downsides. All his stupid pranks - the ones that piss you off when you’re trying to do your makeup, the ones that have him dunking ice cubes on you while you’re in the middle of a shower - and his perpetual recording, camera glued to his hand and if not that, then his phone. There are the rude comments - the oh, that’s his girlfriend? He could do better was a common one - and the long hours he spends editing, holed away in his office; the beyond inappropriate packages he gets in the mail, thongs and other things that he immediately tosses away with a reassuring tilt of his pretty head.

You don’t mind it though. He enjoys it, thrives on it, and you’re there to support him.

But you’d never expected this.

This Adonis standing in the doorway, freshly styled strands pushed back from his forehead, glimmering gold falling across his eyes. He looks, for lack of a better word, unreal.

(You’re not often speechless. Can’t be, when you’re dating someone like Jeon Jungkook and everything he does either makes you laugh or infuriates you. Boring isn’t a part of his vocabulary and you’ve learnt to keep up with his antics over the years.)

(Still, this comes close, stealing all the air from your lungs.)

“Hey, baby.” It’s his usual greeting, offered without hesitation as he crosses the threshold and tosses his keys into the catch-all by the door. Kicks off his chunky sneakers and peels his sweater over his head, effectively tousling the tawny threads.

He’s so handsome it’s outright disgusting, leaving you gaping up at him from your post on the couch. Gives you very little to work with as he shimmies down the hall, grabs an apple off the kitchen island, and then not-so-gracefully plops himself down beside you.

You still haven’t found your words by the time he takes two gigantic bites, flesh crunching between his teeth, big doe eyes sparkling like he’s stepped right out of a Disney film.

“D’you like it?”

Did you? Well, obviously.

You’ve never imagined Jungkook blond. He’d gone through a phase in college, colours of the rainbow rotating through the ends of his hair. Brown, red, orange, blue. You’d loved each hue but this was something else entirely. (Different even from the two months he’d spent as full-on ginger, committing far too hard to his Haikyuu!! Halloween costume.)

This version of him is steeped in some twisted fantasy, a dream crafted by years of bedtime stories and happily ever afters. It screams Prince Charming and has you reaching for him before you know what you’re doing, threading fingers through the surprisingly soft silk that curls over his ears and looks so lovely next to the silver of his piercings.

You mean to be gentle, to comb delicately through flax but fuck. He looks so good you want to devour him. (You can only imagine your face - a lovesick puppy brought home from the pound.)

There’s still apple in his mouth, juice tracking down his chin because you’re really making it quite hard for him to chew when you’ve got him like this, two hands on either side of his face, holding him in place. Inspecting him like a piece of meat as he peers at you, deceptively innocent and amused. “That’s a yes?”

An answer comes in the form of a kiss, of limbs rearranging and settling directly into his lap. Knees wide, chest to chest, you can’t even be bothered by the sickly sticky feel of his skin, the way his hands are too cold to be creeping up beneath the hem of your - his - shirt.

(Where had he put the apple? You know it’s not finished, two bites in and left to roll all over the rug. You’ll give him shit for that later, when you’re not so distracted.)

“You look like Barbie,” you mumble against his lips, into the warmth of his mouth. You ignore the way he laughs, swallowing it down with a pass of your tongue and too much spit swapped, a string of saliva caught between you when you come up for air.

Somehow, you’re still lightheaded, all your thoughts framed into the familiar silhouette of the boy beneath you. Cherry red lips - your fault, from all your biting and teasing and the balm you’d applied earlier - and blond hair. Who would’ve known that was your weakness?

(Deep down, you know Jungkook as a whole is the issue. That it’s your stupid handsome boyfriend with his lopsided smile and bunny teeth, dimples and that scar on his cheek. This is just a new layer to be explored, another reason you love him added to the Jungkook Best Boy jar that sits front and centre in your mind’s eye.)

“Don’t say that,” he groans, equal parts reproach and affection, palms resting where they belong, nestled over your spine. Long fingers toy with the soft cotton of your thong, brushing over the seamless material with small repetitive motions.

You realise then his hands aren’t the only things heating up.

The two of you have an understanding, an abiding awareness of the boundaries of your relationship and the roles you take on. Best friend, occasional sucker for the sake of a TikTok, lover.

He knows how much you hate your dirty laundry being aired - does his very best to never post anything that might be misconstrued, ensures he only ever portrays you in a good light because the internet could be cruel. (Even if he argued with you in the quiet of your home, he’d keep you safe outside of the four walls.)

You know how he needs his quiet time but that sometimes, a night out was unavoidable, a part of his life he - and by extension you - couldn’t always say no to. (Even if you were achy and tired by midnight, glaring down at your phone as he made his rounds, exchanged contact details and rambled about shit that meant nothing.)

He’s learnt to make your eggs the way you love them: soft in the centre, covered with too much pepper. He never washes your clothes in hot water (not after The Great Sweater debacle) and he always makes sure not to use your special memory foam pillow.

You kiss him goodnight without fail and play with his hair until he falls asleep; you bury your face against his chest when he’s had a long day, signing your love with the felt-tip of your lips. You bring him fresh cut fruit when he’s been working for more than three hours and wash his hair when he’s stressed.

Knowing each other was easy; loving each other was like breathing.

This, though, is different. New. Special.

He’s never been like this before, glazed over in the eyes, patience wearing thin. Sat so well, picture perfect beneath you and cornsilk crown lighting his entire expression up like a halo, he’s ethereal.

“Baby,” he whines, grits through his teeth as you roll your hips that much slower, the glide impossibly smooth thanks to the lychee watermelon lube he’d received to his PO box. (One of the items you hadn’t thrown away from that package, together with a handful of other toys that’d come in handy over the months.)

You’re shameless, soothing a hand across his cheek, thumb slipping past his lips. (You ignore the noise of indignation, meet it with a twinkling laugh of your own.) It sweeps over his tongue, pressing down in tandem with the second sound - one that echoes out of his chest, a growl that pitches into a whine and makes your ears buzz. “Hi, baby.”

“Stop teasing.” It’s practically begging - or as close to it as Jungkook will get. It draws a smile and another pass of your thumb, gliding across his gums to slot against the interior of his cheek. You’ve got him fishhooked, immobile, even as he glares up at you.

(He’s so, so handsome. Looks utterly out of it even as he tries to harden his gaze, coerce you into doing what he wants with that stare that makes your heart lurch pathetically in your chest.)

“You don’t like this?”

You know he does - that he loves being pampered. That he’ll rarely ask, instead pouting at you from wherever he sits until you turn to putty under his gaze and smother him in all the love you have to offer.

“I do. I just—” The rest of his words don’t come, stolen by a gasp when you grind against him, swollen head of his cock bumping against your clit. He’s making a mess of you both, back arching, hips rising, hands fisted into the sheets even as he chases friction like a dog does its tail. The warmth between your legs is so close he looks as if he’ll lose his mind, rutting against your cunt like just the right angle might get him what he wants. “Fuck, baby.”

“I’m trying,” you retort, mouthful of teasing that only earns you another glare, some poor semblance of one as he bites into the webbing of your hand, bucks up impatiently.

“Please.” He tries again, a different tactic this time, all sugar-spun sweetness. Strawberry shortcake rather than sour cherry pie, so eager to get what he wants that he’s not above pulling out all the stops. A hand risen from the sheets, digits decorated in ink swimming over your skin, sinking into the meat of your thigh.

(He doesn’t push though. Knows you’ll pull the moment he does.)

“Please?” An echo chamber, endlessly teasing, and a ducked head, lips finding the sweat-slick column of his throat. Just one drag of your tongue has him crumbling further, careful composure slipping with each swivel of your hips, the edge of your teeth. There’s nothing but desperation radiating off him, demand choked back when you drift lower, tracing over his chest, teasing him in the ways you know best.

It’s all so unnecessary, drawing out what he wants until he’s a goner, three seconds from combusting beneath you. You’d give him anything he ever asked for - offer it all up on a silver plate, a meal fit for a king. This is just fun, different and exciting.

You relent with a minor adjustment, settling yourself against him, face dropped into the crook of his neck. “Slowly.”

He repeats after you, uncertain and hopeful; his hand falls further, warmth descending to pull you close, hold you still. As much as he needs this - needs you - he loves the slow burn just as much. The stutter of his pulse gives him away, erratic beneath your touch. He’s a thousand miles above the clouds, floating on cloud nine; every second passed is another tingle of his toes, a tightening of the coil in his stomach.

When he aligns himself against your core, pre-cum pearling over his tip, he does exactly as you’ve asked. Sinks into you at such a leisurely pace you wonder if you might be the one who splinters apart, shatters into a million tiny pieces at the way he splits you open.

“Good?” Jungkook asks so nicely it’s impossible for you to say no, to deny him this tiny bit of reassurance.

(Maybe it’s the way he looks, crowned in glittering gold, painted by Fra Angelico. Or maybe it’s how his smile spills like sunshine, a peachy pink horizon dragging over the apples of his cheeks, burnt red like their namesake.)

(Whatever it is, it’s everything you want, packed perfectly and pouting.)

“Good boy,” you purr, breath hitching once he’s sheathed to the hilt, seated so deeply within that you swear you can feel him in your throat.

You’ve never felt so full before - close to overflow, taunted and taxed by ridges and veins, each flex of his hips that drives him somehow further within your fluttering walls. So full you might burst, that you can’t possibly hold yourself together when he begins to move, fucking you tenderly, as if he can feel the weight of the moment.

There’s something happening. A shift in the air, in the axis of your planet that revolves around him. It falls on its side, spins wildly out of control, and you’re emotional. It’s not just his hair - that gilded crown he wears, heavy heavy heavy like aureate coin - or the impossible dark of his eyes - blown out, an entire galaxy devoured by the supermassive black hole that is his pupils. It’s the things you can’t see, the pieces beneath skin, soft and jammy, the tongue-tart sweetness.

(The thing with Jungkook is that he doesn’t let go, refuses to fully submit, always so careful to regulate his voice when things get to be too much. He’ll blink back his tears, stifle a sob, even as his breath disappears from nothing but a delicate brush of his chest.)

You take his vulnerability as a treasure, hold it close and craft a chest for its home, promise to keep it safe even while you're the one who poses the most danger. When it’s your teeth and tongue that eviscerates the soft of his flesh, makes him keen and gasp, heart pounding like hooves, beat imprinted against, under, into your palms.

When he begs you to move - manages the request in a broken articulation that makes you giggle - you give, swivel your hips in a figure eight, an infinity of motion that never ends.

You take all he has to offer and sing your praise into the wet of his mouth. Lick over teeth and gums and trade spit for love; know there’s only more where that came from, that the fountain begs to overflow as he finally - finally - breaks that much more, gripping your hips gentle as can be. Hands soothe up and down, an unspoken plea in how he thumbs your hip bones, taps hopefully over the small of your lower back.

He doesn’t need to speak for you to hear him.

It’s more than a kiss forming against your skin. It’s a confession of adoration, sealed by the frame of his mouth, cemented by the sting of his teeth. It’s I love you without saying it, plastering the pecks along your spine, placing them safely in all the spaces you’ve created for him.

It’s also an apology, because he’s just torn your castle to pieces, shattered your entire fantasy into smithereens.

He hadn’t expected you to react the way you had, rolling off him as if he hadn’t just been chasing the sweet bliss of release, splitting your walls and making you wail above him. It has him pouting, utilising the one thing that melts you down like candle wax.

“Baby,” he whines, reaching for you, needy and horny and so hard he imagines all the blood has rushed from his head straight to his cock. Everything spins when he moves with you, scrambles across the California king to paw at your hip.

He’d been so good for you - wasn’t that enough?

“Don’t,” you grumble, searing his insides with just one look. (It shouldn’t be as hot as it is.)

“But—” A plea punctuated by groping hands, eager as always, smoothing over the swell of your ass, flesh squeezing between knuckles. He’d normally let this go - fuck into his closed fist in the shower after he’s done something to cut playtime short - but he can’t help it now. He’s been on the edge for so long, lit up in neon that demands to be seen, heard, felt.

“Don’t dye it again.”

Oh?

That has him reeling, laughing, such a stupid grin across his face. It devours everything else, spearing dimples into place as he pulls you against him. You can feel his smile forming against your skin, the wet drag of his tongue as he sucks a welt into the sensitive spot of your shoulder.

“You wanna play with Barbie, baby?” It’s such a stupid line - utterly sophomoric and riddled with teasing and yet the delivery has you shivering in his arms, equally childish huff splitting your lips.

Jungkook doesn’t listen to you often - not about silly things like this - but he figures he can, just this once.

“I won’t,” he chirps, sneaking another kiss, stamping another smooch. It’s working exactly as he wants, stilling your protesting limbs as he cages you to him, slips his hand back where he most wants to be. The glide is perfect, a mixture of arousal and fruity lubricant; he slips a finger in without resistance, grinding his palm against your clit.

“R-really?” Of course you don’t believe him. He messes with you too often, plays too many pranks. (He deserves that.)

His promise comes too easy, driven by how nice you feel, how pretty you sound when he presses another digit in along the first. The scissor of his fingers is languid, exploring for the spots that make you breathless as he hums a noise of affirmation against your neck; he fucks you open as if he has to, as if you aren’t already dripping, eagerly sucking him in. “Really.”

“Put it in then, Ken doll.”

He laughs - and then he does. In bed, with your knee hooked over his, pace slow and sure and sinful. In the shower, bent over with his hands bruising your hips. In the kitchen for a late night snack, another apple in his mouth and your hands in his hair.

Maybe blonds did have more fun.

tag list. @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @codeinebelle

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little-mad · 3 years

Text

A Seat at the Table Pt. 1

~ Prologue Story ~

~ Part 2 ~

Guess who's baaack? Yup, it's Gavin and Rael, ready for another lil adventure. This one is gonna be shorter than Downsides of Thievery, but I have several little pieces planned for this universe so don't worry, these lads aren't going anywhere.

Gavin just wanted to sleep in. Considering he had been...let’s say “self employed” ever since graduating high school, he was unaccustomed to being dragged out of bed at an unholy hour. The past two mornings had been the same way, but somehow he’d managed to scrape himself out of bed. This time however, his body seemed to be holding a protest.

“You need to get up,” a familiar voice called, the same voice that had already urged Gavin awake a couple minutes ago.

The only response Gavin offered was burying his head deeper into the stunningly plush handkerchief that served as his makeshift sheets.

There was a pause, then suddenly he felt a gust of warm air roll over his back. “If you don’t get up on your own, I’m going to have to make you,” the voice was much closer now, in fact it sounded as though the speaker was only a few inches above Gavin. A shiver ran across his spine, but still his tired brain refused to signal any action from the body. The only thing he did manage to do was shoot back an irritable groan.

The hot breath remained for a moment before disappearing. “Good, maybe he’s leaving me alo--” The blanket that had been protecting Gavin from the early morning chill was suddenly ripped away. Before he could even let out a complaint, a firm pressure took hold of either side of his waist.

A less than dignified yelp slipped out of Gavin’s mouth as he was effortlessly snatched out of his bed and lifted up into the air. He didn’t need to turn around to know what had happened, even in his groggy state he could put together the pieces. “What the hell, dude?!” he yelled as he squirmed angrily.

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” came Rael’s response as he rotated Gavin around so he was now dangling facing towards him.

Unlike Gavin, the teal-eyed alteon looked perfectly content being up at the asscrack of dawn. He was already dressed in his uniform, and his long black hair was neatly tied back in its usual style. He looked down at Gavin with an amused smirk on his lips, as well as a mischievous glint in his eyes that Gavin couldn’t help but feel responsible for encouraging.

Gavin scowled. “Put me down, Rael,” he ordered with as much authority as an action figure sized person could muster.

Rael’s grin widened, making him look alarmingly like the cat that ate the proverbial canary. “If you insist.” A sharp gasp got caught in Gavin’s throat as the hand holding him abruptly lurched into motion. The last thing he saw was a swath of tan before he was unceremoniously plopped down on the unidentified surface.

Scrambling to his feet, Gavin whipped around to try and make sense of where he’d been placed. It only took a moment before he realized, and when he did his face instantly began to flush red. “I didn’t mean on your lap!” he hissed, his cheeks now a bright red color as a result of being deposited on Rael’s left thigh.

There were several places that Gavin didn’t much like to be due to the fact that being there made him feel like a giant’s pet. On Rael’s lap was a big one. Other ones included being cradled in hands or set on a chest--which Rael had actually done the other day without seeming to realize how embarrassing it would be for the human.

Rael gave a small snicker, something that a couple days ago would have sounded foreign coming from the Imperial Guardsman. “Consider it punishment for not getting up the first, or second time I told you to,” he remarked, looking down at Gavin with unconcealed mirth.

Rather than try to argue, Gavin just glared up at his...mentor? Was that the right word? Parole officer was the closest thing he could think of that fit properly, but it didn’t really fit in with the medieval vibe of the alteon dimension. “Master” was maybe a better term, but Gavin would be damned if he ever referred to Rael as “master.”

Thankfully Gavin didn’t have to suffer in Rael’s lap for long, because a moment later the giant reached down and carefully scooped the human back up.

It was hard to believe how much less skittish Gavin had become about being around Rael’s hands. Over the past couple days they’d made a surprising amount of progress. That wasn’t to say Gavin’s heart rate didn’t pick up every time those oversized appendages came near him, but at least he didn’t have the urge to run for the hills anymore.

Gavin was only in transit for a short moment before being deposited back on the bedside table where his improvised bed resided. Until the palace craftsmen completed the miniature furniture set that the Emperor had commissioned, Rael had provided Gavin with a small wooden crate filled with fabric to sleep in.

Atop the table was also a small pile of clothes. The gray jumpsuit he’d arrived in the alteon dimension in was folded up neatly after having been washed for him. There were also several sets of simple garments that had apparently been painstakingly sewn by giant fingers. The work was certainly impressive, and apparently Gavin could expect even more intricate articles in the future.

“I’m going to get breakfast,” Rael announced, already making his way towards the door. “You’d better be dressed by the time I get back.” He glanced over his shoulder to shoot a warning glare back at Gavin, however the edge was taken off by the slight smile on the man’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” the human replied, waving a dismissive hand.

As soon as the alteon was out the door, Gavin let out a low sigh. “He still doesn’t think I can handle eating in the dining hall,” he muttered to himself as he went about getting dressed.

Ever since Gavin had started out as Rael’s assistant, Rael had insisted upon bringing their meals back to the room rather than joining the rest of the members of the Imperial Guard. At first, Gavin had been grateful. After the Ashryn incident, he had no desire to interact with any more soldiers. However, on the second day he’d begun to wonder why exactly Rael seemed so adamant about it. When he had posed the question to the alteon, he had simply responded with “it’s easier this way.”

Despite what many of the people in Gavin’s life might say, he wasn’t stupid. He knew each and every alteon was a potential danger to him. But everyone in the dining hall would be soldiers--soldiers who were bound by the Emperor’s order that Gavin be protected. Surely he would be perfectly safe there?

“I can’t spend this whole year hiding,” he grumbled. Tying the laces of his sneakers was the final touch on his outfit for the day. The human-sized shoes that were being crafted for him by a cobbler would take some time. He’d wondered why, if alteons had magic, they couldn’t just conjure a pair of shoes. But according to Rael, it didn’t work like that.

Either way, until the shoes were completed, he’d have to stick with the ones he’d arrived in the dimension with. They clashed pretty terribly with the loose fitting cotton tunic and fitted brown trousers, but looking fashionable had fallen pretty low on his list of priorities ever since he got arrested.

With no mirror around, Gavin could only hazard a guess as to what he looked like. He ran his fingers through his frequently disobedient brown locks. He felt pretty confident that his hair was a mess, aside from the fact that it pretty much always was, it had also dried uncombed after bathing the previous night.

Rael had taken Gavin to a massive stone basin to bathe in, and the experience was positively magical for the human. While the basin was intended for washing hands, at Gavin’s size the thing was almost like a small swimming pool! The water had been wonderfully warm and filled with lavender scented bubbles. It had been just the thing Gavin needed to unwind after the whirlwind past couple days he’d endured.

“They have the sausages you like again,” Rael announced as he pushed open the door, balancing an enormous tray of food on one hand.

“So you’re not letting me eat at the big kid table again, huh?” Gavin questioned, ignoring the sausage comment despite the fact that he did in fact like them quite a bit.

A stiff look came across Rael’s face as he snapped the door shut behind him. He said nothing at first, remaining silent as he took a seat on his bed with the food tray on his lap. Gavin began to think the guy wasn’t even going to bother responding until finally, “There’s nothing to gain from doing so.”

Gavin folded his arms over his chest, stepping closer to the edge of the bedside table closest to Rael. He hated when he took on that tone. It was the same tone he’d constantly used when they had first met. Gavin had started to think it was dead and gone, but clearly not.

“There’s nothing to gain from staying in here,” he countered.

Rael pressed his lips tightly together, as if there was something he wanted to say but also didn’t want to at the same time. Finally he blew out a long sigh. “I’ll think about it,” was all he said.

His tone wasn’t exactly promising, but Gavin didn’t want to pick a fight so early in the morning. His brain wasn’t full awake yet so any argument he got into, he’d no doubt lose. So for the time being, he let it go.

#i'm posting this at an absolutely terrible time #but oh well #maybe my fellow night owls will appreciate it #idk how many parts this will be for sure #I feel like I don't handle ocs the way most people do #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #my writing #oc: gavin stone #oc: rael #I could say this is a 600 followers celebration #but I was gonna post it anyways lol

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when-they-write-stuff · 3 years

Text

SterekWeek2020: Day Seven (Halloween)

(so late, but finally here!)

Derek was acting strange.

And yeah, Stiles supposed he really shouldn’t be that surprised. Derek was always acting strange in some way or another, it seemed like. For a man who had basically built his reputation on the idea that he was this big scary werewolf, Derek Hale had shown himself to be a lot more complex than that.

But the point was, Derek Hale was acting strange. And Stiles didn’t know why.

It started with the little things. Things like Derek vanishing out of nowhere and coming back to the loft much later in ruffled clothes and a pleased expression on his face. Stiles had asked the betas on multiple occasions what the hell was happening, but none of them ever seemed to know.

Or really care, for that matter. Erica would shrug and drag Boyd off to her room for some ‘alone’ time and Isaac would proceed to wrap himself in blankets and hog the TV, the volume up much too loud to cover up what Stiles could only assume were sounds he was glad he didn’t have the enhancements to hear.

Sometimes, there were perks to being human.

Derek always came back, of course. The first time he’d vanished, Stiles had been over helping Isaac with his homework— something Scott had roped them into. It had started as a pack study group, except then the young Alpha had gotten back together with Allison and spent more time at her house than at the loft anymore.

It didn’t help that Isaac needed the help, too. And Stiles would like to say that he had a heart of gold, thank you very much, and was kind enough to never abandon the beta.

Also, he got to hang around Derek— er, the other betas. At the loft. Nothing else.

The one downside was Peter.

When Stiles had asked him about Derek’s mysterious getaways, Peter had only smirked over the top of his book. And Stiles knew the asshole knew exactly where Derek kept going, but he was very conveniently keeping that information to himself.

Which made Stiles feel a little less bad when he spent time at the loft pretending Peter didn’t exist.

The first time Derek had vanished out of nowhere, Stiles had waited until the man came back. And Derek had come through the loft door hours later, shirtless and in ripped pants, looking like he’d gotten into a fight with a mountain lion and lost. But when Stiles had bombarded him with questions, refusing to leave until he got some sort of answer, Derek had just shrugged and locked himself in his room, leaving Stiles alone in the silent loft.

He’d tried to get Derek to talk since, he really had. Stiles had even attempted to follow the man once, but he’d only made it to the preserve before he lost Derek among the trees.

It was probably werewolf stuff, Scott had said. He didn’t seem very intrigued that Derek was living a secret second life, but Stiles supposed he hadn’t expected the boy to be. He just wanted someone to be as curious as he was and the betas were a bust, Scott was too obsessed with Allison, and when Stiles had tried to bring it up with Lydia, she’d proceeded to turn around and walk away.

It was Derek’s business, she’d said. Which… yeah. But still. Stiles was confused.

Months ended up passing since that very first day. Derek continued to act strange on certain days and go on mini-vacations, and Stiles continued to be utterly lost. It wasn’t until he’d nearly given up that things finally changed.

It was Halloween night when Stiles finally figured out Derek’s little secret.

He knew the betas planned to go around town in their beta forms, scaring the crap out of little kids, but Stiles had already decided he wasn’t going with them. Because when someone inevitably called the cops and Stiles’s dad showed up, he was not going to be the betas scapegoat.

No, Stiles planned on hanging out at the loft with the others to watch scary movies. Derek had been a little stubborn when Lydia first volunteered his place to meet up, but the man had eventually given in. Even Derek Hale knew better than to argue with Lydia Martin.

And Stiles totally wasn't looking forward to spending time at Derek’s loft. Totally not at all.

He might’ve been a little.

Except Derek wasn’t at the loft when Stiles arrived.

“Okay,” Stiles said, coming back into the main room after doing a thorough search of the loft. “Where the hell is our mighty Alpha?”

“Why does it matter?” Scott asked, looking confused. He was curled up on the couch with Allison, and she didn’t look too worried either. From where she sat in the other chair, Lydia didn’t even glance up from her phone.

“He’s gone,” Stiles said. “Again. Doesn’t that ever strike any of you as strange?”

“Not really,” Scott said. Allison shrugged.

“Maybe he's out doing something.”

“Like?”

She glanced at Scott, who shook his head. “Keeping an eye on the betas?”

“Derek doesn’t babysit the betas,” Stiles said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m pretty sure he’d sooner eat his own hand.”

“Gross, Stiles,” Lydia said, making a face. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“You know it’s true. He’s gone again. On Halloween night. What the hell is more important than scary movies and candy on Halloween night?”

“Why do you care so much?” Lydia said, a familiar glint in her green eyes. It was that knowing look she’d gotten the first time Stiles had complained about Derek’s antics. Glaring at her, Stiles fished out his keys and started toward the loft door, grabbing his hoodie from the back of the nearest chair.

“I don’t,” he said. “But the asshole is being weird and I’m going to go figure out what he’s doing.”

“Oh, come on, Stiles,” Scott called. “You’re going to miss the movie!”

“There’s plenty of time to watch scary movies tonight,” Stiles said, waving a hand over his shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

Stiles was pretty sure Scott started to say something else, but he didn’t stick around to listen.

And yeah, maybe Derek’s business was Derek’s business or whatever. But Stiles was pretty damn curious and he’d had enough. The man was hiding something from them and for some reason, nobody else seemed to care.

What if he was in trouble? Secretly dying? Had an embarrassing hobby that Stiles totally wanted to know about?

The possibilities were endless.

He wasn’t exactly sure where to go looking for the man. The preserve was usually Derek’s go-to when Stiles attempted to follow him, but that never ended well. One time, he’d ditched the Camaro on the side of the road and literally disappeared— and Stiles hadn’t even known what to think about that.

Maybe Derek was also part ghost. A werewolf alpha ghost.

Okay, maybe not.

Stiles ended up deciding to do a quick drive of the town. Because if Derek really was being a ‘disproving Alpha’ to the betas, then he might as well find out before wasting his night looking for one grumpy-growly werewolf. And maybe he could get to see Derek chew them out too.

That was always amusing.

There were already tons of people out, even though it wasn’t that dark yet. Stiles wasn’t really sure where the betas would go, but he may or may not have put a tracker into Isaac’s phone the first time Isaac let him borrow it.

It wasn’t like he didn’t trust the boy or anything, but Derek’s betas always seemed to be getting themselves in trouble. And Stiles knew there was no way he was ever getting his hands on the phones of the other two.

He’d put a tracker in Derek’s too, if he could only figure out what the man’s freaking password was. It wasn’t like Derek was good at technology but damn, if the man didn’t know how to keep unwanted visitors out of his phone.

Isaac’s phone placed him all the way across town. In one of Beacon Hills larger neighborhoods, probably scaring the crap out of innocent little kids, if Stiles was right.

He was.

He caught sight of the betas almost immediately— and quickly ducked down. Because Stiles hadn’t gone with them for a reason, remember? And that reason was looking at him right in the face in the form of flashing police lights and Stiles’s dad looking disappointed, giving the betas the chewing-out that Stiles had kind of hoped to see Derek giving.

The grumpy Alpha, on the other hand, was nowhere in sight. Stiles did spot a small group of trick-or-treaters and their parents watching, though.

And a giant black dog, standing a little ways away from the flashing lights.

Stiles tilted his head, watching the dog curiously. He couldn’t make out a collar, but it seemed well-behaved enough, sitting on someone's lawn and watching the betas get lectured. It almost looked… interested. In a scarily human way.

Suddenly, dark amber eyes were locked on his own and then the dog was watching him.

Stiles jerked, hitting his elbow on the steering wheel with a curse. And when he looked back, rubbing at his funny bone, the dog was gone.

As if it had never been there.

Stiles stared for another long moment before shaking his head, wondering faintly if he was going crazy.

He drove off before he could get caught by one of the betas or worse, his dad, determined to have nothing to do with them being idiots. At this point, it was much darker, and Stiles figured he was never going to find Derek unless the man wanted to be found.

Which clearly, he didn’t.

So Stiles headed home, deciding to grab a few of his favorite horror movies before heading back to the loft. He’d probably already missed the first one, but that wasn’t a big loss. Scott had brought it and the boy had terrible taste in movies.

He still hadn’t seen Star Wars yet.

Stiles hadn’t spent Halloween at home since his mom’s death. Before, they used to decorate the house and hand out candy, but things changed when she passed. And Stiles wasn’t a little kid anymore. His dad worked Halloween night anyway, and Stiles hated to be alone in the silence, so he usually ended up going to the McCall’s instead of hanging out alone.

Or, that’s what he’d done before the pack. Before he had other people to spend the holidays with.

Stiles would never admit out loud how much he kind of loved it.

Which brought him back to his sour mood and the fact that Derek wasn’t around tonight. Stiles didn’t think he’d be so offended if the man would just tell one of them what he was doing. It wasn’t like he was worried about the asshole or whatever, but… it’d be nice to know.

That’s all it was.

Stiles grabbed a few movies, a bag of chips (because Derek never had any good snacks around), and headed back out into the night to see a large black dog sitting on his lawn.

The large black dog.

Stiles froze, movies in one hand and the bag of chips in the other. For a moment, he didn’t move and the dog didn’t either, looking at him with those eerily knowing eyes.

“Uh,” Stiles finally said, taking a nervous step back. “Hey, there, doggie?”

The dog growled. And if Stiles was being honest, it looked a lot more like a wolf than a dog, big enough to probably rip out his throat with ease.

Stiles suddenly froze, staring.

A grumpy-growly wolf-dog. Following him and the betas around, all while Derek was on the loose who-knew-where...

“No freaking way,” Stiles breathed. “Sourwolf?”

Either he was losing his mind and talking to stray wolf-dogs, or Derek was sitting right in front of him. Not ripping his throat out, which Stiles supposed he should be grateful for, but was this really the secret the man had been keeping for months?

“Oh my god, dude, you go furry now?”

The dog snarled, stalking forward. Stiles squeaked, dropping both the movie and bag of chips. He stumbled back, ramming against the door, and fumbled blindly for the doorknob. Except, before he could yank it open and maybe spend the rest of the night hiding from an angry wolf-dog-thing, it was getting larger, less furry, and suddenly Derek Hale was standing in front of him.

Stiles yelped, clapping his hands over his eyes and turning his face away.

“Dude, genitals!”

Yeah, that sentence actually left his mouth.

And it wasn’t like Stiles had never imagined seeing Derek naked before, but if he had, it would not be in a situation like this. Stiles was far too shocked to remove his hands for a moment, but he was pretty sure that a grown man standing naked on his front porch was going to get the cops called and— and his dad could not see this.

Oh god, his dad could never see this.

“D-Derek?”

“Stiles.”

Stiles flinched, lowering his hands but keeping his eyes firmly closed. Turning around blindly, he felt around until he found the doorknob and turned it, stumbling back into his house. And after a moment, he heard what sounded like Derek following.

“Shut the door behind you,” Stiles said, finally opening his eyes but keeping them straight ahead. “I swear to god, dude, shut the door and hope for both our sakes that nobody saw you go from furry to nude in like, three seconds.”

Stiles heard what sounded like an unimpressed grunt, but he was really trying to pretend like there wasn’t a naked werewolf behind him, thank you very much. After a second, he heard the door shut, and then footsteps moved forward.

“Nope!” Stiles shouted, squeezing his eyes closed again. “Nope, do not take another step, dude! Not until you have some clothes on!”

“Stiles,” Derek growled, definitely sounding irritated now. Stiles waved a hand over his shoulder, cutting the man off.

“Nuh-uh. I’m going to go get you something to wear and you are going to stay… right where you are. Wherever you are. No moving, no going anywhere. No going furry again!”

“Stiles—”

“I swear to god, Sourwolf, I will murder you if you don’t listen to me right now.”

Derek went silent and Stiles waited for a moment longer before realizing he had the upper hand here. More than relieved, he stumbled toward the stairs, keeping his gaze firmly averted until the living room was out of sight

On the top of the stairs, Stiles could easily freak out in peace. He was pretty sure Derek could still hear his heartbeats but whatever.

There was a naked werewolf one floor below. Derek Hale was naked in his living room.

And the man had just been a damn wolf.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Stiles said, heading for his dad’s room. The last time he’d attempted to make Derek wear his clothes, it had nearly ended in a murder, so he figured he’d go with the safe option this time. And that ended up being a pair of sweatpants and Beacon Hills PD t-shirt that Stiles was going to make sure his dad never wore again.

Derek Hale and the Sheriff sharing clothes might be something Stiles would never recover from.

He paused at the top of the stairs again, debating just throwing them down and telling Derek to fetch. But that probably wouldn’t end well either. Taking a deep breath, Stiles moved back downstairs and turned into the living room again, turning his gaze to the floor the moment he caught sight of a bare chest and Derek’s slightly peeved expression.

The man hadn’t moved, at least.

“Here,” Stiles said, thrusting the stack of clothes forward. He heard Derek grunt and could easily imagine the man rolling his eyes, but Derek took them without a complaint.

Stiles turned a little ways away, eyeing the wall with interest until the rustling of clothes turned into silence once more and he glanced back to see Derek finally clothed.

“Oh, thank god,” Stiles said. Derek rolled his eyes.

“Are you happy now?”

“Am I— no, asshole, I’m not happy! You were just naked. And before that, you were a freaking wolf. A wolf! When the hell did that happen?”

Derek’s face tightened. “It’s new.”

“New as in it started a few months ago? You know, when you started disappearing out of nowhere?”

Derek didn’t answer. Stiles groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I hate you sometimes, you know that?”

“I can just leave,” Derek shot back, folding his arms over his chest. Stiles threw up his hands.

“Yeah, well, why did you come here in the first place?”

“Why were you following me all over town?”

“Following— following? I wasn’t following you, asshole! I didn’t even know where the hell you were! I was looking,” Stiles said, glaring. “There’s a difference.”

Derek’s tight expression didn’t change. “Okay, why were you looking?”

“Because I was worried!”

Derek’s eye twitched. But before he could say another word, the doorbell rang and Stiles startled, glancing at it and cursing.

“Trick-or-treaters. But we don’t have any candy to hand out.”

“So just ignore it.”

Stiles went silent and a few seconds passed before the doorbell rang again. Cursing again, he waved Derek off and hurried into the kitchen, scrounging around before finding a box of granola bars. Figuring that would have to be good enough, he rushed back over to the door and pulled it open.

There were only a handful of kids on the step, thankfully. The air filled with the chorus of “trick or treat!” and Stiles put on his best smile, offering the granola bars forward.

One kid frowned. “Where’s the candy?”

“Not here, dude.”

“Why not?”

Stiles raised an eyebrow at him, but before he could say a word, the kid stiffened with a gasp. Turning around, Stiles realized Derek had come to stand behind him, the man’s eyes glowing bright red and his face half-shifted.

A second passed. Then, a chorus of screams filled the air and all of the kids turned, racing from the doorstep. Stiles blinked after them, then turned back toward Derek, staring at the man incredulously.

“Dude, what the hell?”

Derek looked unbothered, the red fading from his eyes as he turned back around. Stiles gazed after him, then glanced back over his shoulder, swallowing hard at the glares from the parents on the sidewalk. He was pretty sure one of the kids was crying.

Oh, this was just fantastic.

“Oh my fucking god,” Stiles said, slamming the door closed. “Derek, you can’t just do that!”

“You can’t give granola bars out instead of candy.”

“Um, excuse me,” Stiles said, gesturing around. “But do you see any candy lying around? And you probably just scarred all of those kids for life, you know!”

Derek shrugged, dropping down onto the couch. “They’ll be fine.”

“I can’t believe this is happening right now.”

The man raised an eyebrow, as if he hadn’t just nearly given a bunch of children heart attacks. Stiles stood rooted to the spot for a moment before stalking over, jabbing a threatening finger in the werewolf’s face.

“You’re going to tell me how this started. Now.”

Derek didn’t look fazed. And dammit, if Stiles didn’t hate him sometimes.

“Derek, I swear to god—”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Derek said. “It’s new. My mother could full-shift and now I can too.”

Stiles clenched his jaw. “And you didn’t think to tell the rest of the pack?”

“I was learning how to control it.”

“You know, some of us could have helped.”

Derek gave him a flat look. And Stiles did his best not to flush bright red, crossing his arms as he dropped into the armchair across from the man.

“I could have helped.”

“Hm.”

“You were a dog,” Stiles stated. And to the man’s continued silence, he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Oh my god, you can turn into a dog.”

“A wolf, Stiles.”

“Wolf, dog, whatever. You can literally rip throats out now.”

When he glanced through his fingers, Derek almost looked a little pleased. And nope, that wasn’t fair at all. Stiles had a real reason to fear for his life when he pissed the man off a little too much, now. And that was not something to be pleased about.

Not in his book, at least.

“You could have told someone, you know,” Stiles said grumpily. “I mean, other than Peter.”

“Peter?”

“Yeah, Peter,” Stiles said, “Trust me, the Creeperwolf knows.”

Derek actually looked a little surprised at that. Stiles rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“What?”

Stiles looked at him in disbelief. Because seriously? He’d been trying to figure out what Derek was doing for months now. And the man still seemed surprised that Stiles had wanted to know? “Dude, do you know how many theories I had?”

Derek looked at him blankly. Stiles huffed.

“I swear to god, I thought you were in trouble or dying or something. That’s stressful, dude!”

“I was fine.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t tell anyone that.”

Derek looked confused for a moment. Then his face did something weird-- Derek actually looked more like a soft teddy bear for a moment, instead of a grumpy werewolf, and Stiles didn’t know what the hell to do with that. “I was fine, Stiles.”

Stiles crossed his arms, glaring down at the floor. Derek sighed.

“Well, now you know, right?”

Stiles looked at the floor for another moment before glancing back up. “Why show me tonight? I wouldn’t have figured it out.”

“You were driving all over town looking for me, Stiles.”

“I was concerned!”

Stiles could’ve sworn the corners of Derek's mouth twitched. And yep, this whole thing was weirding him out. From the wolf, to the nudity, to the fact that Derek Hale looked like he was about to smile.

Stiles leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not going crazy, right?”

“Really, Stiles?”

“I’m just saying, dude,” Stiles said, raising his hands. “This is all kind of weirding me out.”

For a moment, Derek looked uncomfortable. “The shift?”

Stiles blinked. Derek glanced away.

“It’s different. From the others. It's strange.”

“Oh my god,” Stiles said. “No, of course that's not it, dude. You being a literal freaking wolf? That’s the coolest thing ever, man.”

Derek glanced up, face a little red. Stiles huffed.

“I guess I’m just not used to having naked werewolves hanging out in my living room.”

The red went all the way to Derek’s ears this time. He scowled, but Stiles thought he could look grumpier. The glare didn't quite reach his eyes and the red of his face was definitely amusing. “Shut up, Stiles.”

“Hmm, sure. So are you going to tell the rest of the pack at some point?”

“At some point.”

Stiles grinned a little bit. “So I’m the only one who knows, then? Other than Peter the Creeper, at least. God, I feel so special.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “For now.”

“I'll take it,” Stiles said, grinning wider. To Derek’s flat look, he raised his hands. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

The man's eyes flashed bright red at that and he smirked. “No, you won’t.”

“I-is that a threat, Sourwolf?”

“You said it yourself. I can rip out throats now.”

A shiver ran down Stiles's spine, but he couldn't tell if it was a terrified one or not. He didn't think so. “I didn’t need that imagery.” And the whole smirking-threat thing totally wasn’t a strange turn on. Not at all.

Dammit.

Except before Derek could say a word again, or maybe catch wind of Stiles's teenage hormones betraying him, the doorbell rang once more. Stiles startled and Derek’s eyes flickered red again. Before the man could go scar more innocent children, though, Stiles jumped up and grabbed the box of granola bars. "Don't you dare."

Derek gave him a flat look. Stiles shrugged.

“I didn’t plan on being around tonight,” he said. “I don't have candy to hand out. Everyone is gathered at the loft anyway. Err, minus the betas perhaps.”

“They might be back by now.”

"Or they're in jail."

Derek didn't look fazed. "It'd be a good lesson."

Stiles rolled his eyes at that, glancing toward the door as the bell rang again. Derek raised an eyebrow, waiting, and Stiles glanced down at the box of granola bars again. Then, he sighed. “Okay, fine, big guy, you get one more scare. Then, we’re going to the loft. Understood?”

The man looked surprised. Stiles smirked a little.

“Or you can stay here and explain to my dad why you’re wearing his clothes when he gets off his shift.”

Stiles was more than entertained to see Derek look terrified for a moment. The big bad wolf, literally looking like Stiles had just threatened him with a stick of wolfsbane. And, full shift wolf or not, Stiles was totally remembering that.

“So?” he said, tilting his head toward the door. And was he a terrible person for allowing this? Maybe a little bit? “Are you gonna go?”

There were definite fangs in Derek half-smirk. That really shouldn’t have been such a turn on too.

Stiles was pretty sure someone was going to call the cops on his house too, just like with the betas. And wouldn’t that confuse the hell out of his dad? Stiles supposed he could always throw them under the bus a second time if needed.

Seconds after Derek opened the door, screams filled the air. Stiles glanced down at the box of granola bars in his hands.

Well…

He set them on the front porch with a ‘take one’ sign when they left, just in case. And Derek made sure Stiles knew he thought the entire thing was stupid and 'granola bars should never be a replacement for candy.' Stiles had never realized the man was such a Halloween snob.

The entire box was still there the next morning.

#sterek #teen wolf #sterekweek2020 #sterek au #wolf!derek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #teen wolf edits #sterek edits #sterek moodboard #derek hale x stiles stilinski #fluff #humor #ficlet #late but here

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koshicoast · 3 years

Text

A few shinkami headcannons because I love them more than anything

Shinsou has a growth spurt and practically towers over Denki by their second year (for all intents and purposes, Shinsou has always been in class 1A)

Denki grows a little bit but not that much, he’s not complaining though, he gets Shinsou to grab stuff on the top shelve for him or has him hang up posters in higher places in his room (the only downside is that he has to get on his tippy toes for kisses but usually Shinsou will just bend down like a good boyfriend)

They go on dates every Sunday, It’s their day and it doesn’t matter what they’re doing as long as it’s just the two of them

They could be studying or doing homework or exercising or anything really and they’ll call it a date

The rest of the class knows better than to try and contact either boy on Sunday

“Normies worship Jesus on Sunday but I worship Shinsou” - Denki, at one point in time

Shinsou loves playing with denki’s hair, he buys different kinds of hair clips just to put them in denki’s hair

he just likes how the colors pop out

He especially likes to see purple hair clips in denki’s hair

Tbh it doesn’t have to be hair clips, it could be a scrunchie or a rubber band or a headband; as long as it’s purple it does wonders to shinsou’s heart

Denki likes playing with shinsou’s hair too but more than that he likes seeing Shinsou in yellow clothing

Shinsou doesn’t wear bright colors a lot usually sticking with black or cool tone colors

But when he does wear yellow, Denki just gets all mushy no matter how small it is

It could be yellow earrings or socks or something and Denki will wear a love sick expression all day

Despite being in the hero course, Shinsou still gets incredibly insecure about his quirk and how some people only see him as a villain

Denki, without fail or hesitation, tells Shinsou what a great hero he’s gonna be, he talks about how Shinsou is gonna inspire a new wave of underground heroes and how he’s gonna be some kid’s Aizawa one day and how proud he is of him (The first time he said that, it makes Shinsou sob. It makes denki cry too bc he’s a sympathetic crier so they just lay in bed holding eachother)

He also tells Shinsou how no matter who’s the number one hero, Shinsou will always have first place in his heart. And that Shinsou is just as much as any other hero out there and even a little more because he’ll be underground

Denki just loves his boyfriend so much and whoever planted the idea that some quirks are just made for evil is going to get electrocuted >:(

Denki will also pepper Shinsou in kisses saying things like ‘you are so kind’ ‘you’re an amazing person’ ‘I love you so much’ ‘You’re my hero’ and just a bunch of stuff so by the end of their heart to heart Shinsou is feeling a lot better

Denki gets insecure about how ‘dumb’ he is and how he’ll probably just end up hurting civilians or himself before he hurts a villain

Shinsou hates how that’s how Denki views himself because Denki is one of the kindest people in the world and doesn’t even realize it like the first time Denki told him that insecurity, Shinsou looked at him and was like ‘are you..you’re serious? Denks, You’re one of the most clever people I know’

Whenever Denki mentions it, Shinsou he just squeezes the blonde and lets him cry out his frustrations before telling him that ‘he’s not an idiot or stupid and that it’s okay not to understand something as fast as others and that it’s okay to learn differently and it’s okay’ (Shinsou will always try not to cry but a few tears fall anyways bc he just wants denks to be happy without feeling like he’s a fuckup)

Shinsou never lets Denki call himself an idiot or stupid, even in a joking way.

They don’t fight a lot because of their personalities like

Denki is a people’s person and is really in tune with other’s emotions and by default is a pacifist unless otherwise

Shinsou isn’t a people’s person but he’s observant due to his quirk bc of how he’s been treated in the past, he’s also good at picking up on people’s body language

Most times it’s just small disagreements and even then they communicate the best they can and try to compromise

If that doesn’t work then they’ll give each other space so the disagreement won’t turn into something ugly

They’ve only fought once and it was the worst (and best) thing for them

The fight happened after a mock rescue mission goes wrong and there were weeks of stress and tension leading up to it

It was messy and bad like really bad

“I just don’t get why you have to run into danger!” Denki screamed. The whole dorm could probably hear them but he didn’t care, not when his boyfriend was looking at him like he just lost his mind.

It was supposed to be a simple training exercise. Simple. Go in, defeat villains, rescue the ‘hostages’. It was not that simple.

*insert how badly the mission went and Shinsou ran towards the danger to help or smth idk*

It gets pretty rough between the two of them because they’re both pretty emotional people

Shinsou thinks denki doesn’t want him to be a hero and denki thinks Shinsou doesn’t want to be with him

It’s a lot of insecurities + stress + yelling

Denki is the first one to break, he’s a lot more emotionally sensitive than Toshi and everything is just crashing down and he hates it

“Do you just not want to be with me?!” He cries, unable to keep the tears at bay any more. He hates arguing with people, especially when that person happens to be his boyfriend. He gets it, he does! Toshi is training to become a hero and so is he but that doesn’t make it easier. Doesnt stop the shot of fear whenever he watches the other get hurt, doesn’t stop the late night self deprecation, doesn’t stop the anxiety he gets whenever he sees Toshi run head first into danger.

But he gets it and somehow it’s a bitter realization.

Because Hitoshi’s priority is the job they signed up for and Denki’s is Hitoshi.

The fight ends with tears on both their parts and they call it a night, too tired to scream anymore

They sleep in their own rooms that night

The next morning they agree to take a break, not a full break up, but some time away. Space away from each other to prioritize and think.

(Now ive seen fanfics where everyone picks denki over Shinsou and i hate that so fuck you, class 1A are both their friends and they’re all family and try and to help each other I will die with that statement)

Surprisingly the two most helpful people are Bakugou and Kirishima

(Actually not that surprising, they’re the longest couple in the whole class, dating immediately after Kamino)

Bakugou and denki have a heart to heart

“You’re both dumbasses” Katsuki sighs heavy, passing another tissue over to the sobbing blonde. He’s not good at these kinds of things, but Kirishima told him he could help the electric blonde more than he could so here he is. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong or just cry?” He asks, not without a hint of worry though. He pretends to ignore it.

So denki tells him everything and his insecurities

Oh. Yeah, Kirishima was right.

“You think I’m an idiot” Denki mutters quietly, harshly rubbing his eyes.

“No” The older blonde shakes his head, plopping down on the bed next to the other. He doesn’t turn to meet yellow eyes, his own trained on the All Might poster hanging directly across from them. He feels Pikachu’s curious gaze on him so he decides to elaborate more, knowing the sooner he helps the sooner he doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. It’s totally not because he’s gotten soft. Absolutely not.

“Trust me, Zombie Eyes looks at you like you put the fucking stars in the sky. It’s disgusting to watch.” He crinkles his nose in disgust earning a small laugh. “People like him and I, we gotta work twice as hard. Not saying that no one else does but it’s different.” He stresses the last word. “People like Ei or Deku or even you, people already see you as good so all you gotta do is get stronger. They don’t question your character, your morals, they don’t look down on you for having a weakness. People like Zombie Eyes and I though?we gotta work hard just to prove that we’re good. That we were meant to become heroes. Every action we do is put under a microscope and analyzed.” He explains.

“We’re assholes by default, It’s how we were raised. Not saying it as an excuse though. He was in the shitty system and I had shitty parents, no adult taught us shit like love or how to properly deal with feelings.”

Stupid Deku tried with him but he didn’t even know how to deal with his own much less some angry blond kid’s.

He takes a deep breath, pushing back faint memories of his childhood. The younger hasn’t said a word but he can tell he’s listening so it’s fine. “We can’t just turn off how we are. If it’s frustrating for you and Ei, It’s worse for us. Like we know logically that we’re good people, that we changed but that’s now how our brain sees it. We push ourselves because that’s all we know how to do, it proves to us and everyone else that we bled for our spot here. That we made it. Having friends is hard because we compare ourselves to them and draw our own conclusions to their actions. Being nice? Our brain says it’s a trap. Showing some human fucking decency? Our shitty brain says it’s an act. Being in a relationship? Laughable. We’re just villains pretending to play heroes to everyone else.”

He takes another deep breath, forcing himself to look away from the poster, flashbacks to their first year briefly passing in his head. Okay yeah, not going down that route. He looks over, making eye contact. He wonders if this is how Kirishima feels whenever he’s trying to cheer him up. Wonders if it’s just as hard. This better be worth it, everyone has been miserable. (Shitty thing about having been through life and death situations together is that everyone has bonded and become close like a family so when one of them is sad it’s like everyone is fucking sad.) (He loathes it because even he gets worried.)

“But despite that he still loves you.” He says softly, almost whispering like he’s telling the other a secret. “Fights his demons to hold your hand and all that shit”

Shinsou loves him? Loves him?

“How do you.. how do you know?” Denki whispers, throat sore. “We fought so badly last night, we were screaming at eachother.”

“He treats you the same way I treat Ei.” He answers,

“He changed his priorities around to try and accommodate for another person in his life, you became more important than training or studying. He takes days off to be with you, cuts his studying short if you need a break. It might not seem much to others but for him that’s huge. He came in with this one track mind but then you came along and he scrambled to balance everything. And then you two got your shit together and started to go out and I’m pretty sure he got scared”

“Scared?” Denki asks, the thought almost funny to him.

“I did.” Bakugou admits as Denki’s eyes grow wide.

“I was petrified. When Ei started to become more important than hero work, I freaked. It’s not that loverboy is choosing being a hero over you, It’s because he doesn’t understand that he can have both. He thinks everything important is a choice- that if you want something you have to give something up. He chooses hero work and he loses you. He chooses you and he loses hero work.”

“But he’s not going to lose me or hero work”

“Kinda sounded like you did give him an ultimatum though”

The realization hits him like cold water.

Shinsou gets a similar talk with Kirishima

It helps, a lot

They don’t immediately go back to eachother, instead spending the week with their everyone else and just taking time for themselves

Shinsou knocks on Denki’s door Sunday morning and they finally talk things out

It’s also the first time they say ily!!

Anyways after that fight they work harder on communicating especially when it comes to things like hero work

It’s not perfect bc their dumb traumatized teens but they’re trying and they know their lil family will always be there

I haven’t slept but yes thanks for sticking around if you’re reading this

If ur interested in shinsou’s talk with Kirishima lmk

#shinkami headcannons #shinkami #drabble #snippets #shinsou x kaminari #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou #denki kaminari #kaminari #my hero academia #kiribaku #Kirishima #bnha bakugou

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evergreenstringbean · 3 years

Text

Must Be a Dream

Post-WTIT oneshot after Logan sinks back to his room.

(Read to the end for a quick lil note!)

Link here to read on AO3

Logan’s alone, but not completely.

He sits in the dark corner of his room reserved exclusively for such a time as this. His body is nestled uncomfortably where the two walls meet, and perhaps if he was thinking clearly he’d grab a pillow or something to support his back. Instead, he makes no effort to move as the dim whir of a computer provides the little amount of noise to keep his ears from ringing.

“Why won’t they just…listen?” he asks himself quietly. Maybe if he says it aloud, he can come up with a logical answer. Maybe he can trace back the reasons why they choose to ignore him to something he had done or said. Maybe it has nothing to do with them at all.

Maybe it’s him.

They ignore the truth because they can’t stand being wrong.

Logan squeezes his eyes tight in a futile attempt to block it out. “That’s not it-”

That’s precisely it, Logan. You know it. They block out logic to stay in their own precious bubbles. You’re like a poison to them.

Poison. Is that what he is? A slow-acting poison seeping into everyone’s minds and corrupting them? Has his mind been clouded by a haze of his own opinions this entire time? How long?

…How long has he been killing his friends?

But can they even be called friends? They shut you out. Cast you away, talk over you in discussions.

“Shut up.”

You know it’s true. Hell, they call you names and dismiss your purpose to your face!

“Stop it-”

They aren’t your friends, Logan. Friends don’t do that.

“Enough!” Logan yells, the force of his outburst knocking him even further back into the corner. For the first time since he’s returned to his space, he catches a glance to the other side of the room. Admittedly, seeing a version of himself with his face contorted into an knowing smirk still made him uncomfortable after all this time. But Logan is a side of knowledge and centers himself with the undeniable facts.

Roman and Remus are not the only twins, however fortunate they are to have split.

That’s what they need to see. They need to witness the rage. The real us.

Logan scoffs and pulls himself to his feet. “There’s no us. You’re barely real.”

Low blow, Lo. I’m as real as the next side.

“That’s a bit oxymoronic,” he mutters to himself. He’s not entirely sure if it’s a logical urge or purely to drown out the painfully honest words spoken by the side lounging on the bed. Crossing his arms, he watches the other flip a coin over and over in the air. His counterpart’s laughter sounds vaguely of morse code, and if Logan listens closely he swears he only hears it spell out “SOS”.

I don’t understand your reluctance. They’ve all made you feel this way.

“…They’ve all made me feel,” Logan corrects, the odd blend of heartache and anger bubbling up with a medley of emotions he either can’t comprehend or refuses to acknowledge.

One of the downsides of quick recollection is how easily Logan brings up every time the others had spoken over him or silenced him. The memories blend together and fill his ears with echoes of harsh words thrown at him over the years. It’s deafening.

Until it isn’t.

We can fix this.

“We will not be doing anything.”

Then I suppose you’ll just have to live with being ignored for the rest of your existence. I hope the loneliness isn’t too soul-crushing.

Logan wants to ignore him. He wants to look away from the unruly version of himself who’s grin appears more malicious the longer they share a glance and return to the heaps of work at his desk. But the tail end of the other’s words hit him and he has to take a moment to reflect on the nights spent hovering over piles of work that often go unnoticed by the other sides. All the data he analyzes that’s never worth it in the end. The laughter shared by a group he once thought he could never slip away from. It’s only now that he realizes he’s further from them than ever.

It’s freeing, isn’t it?

Logan doesn’t move. He can’t.

With a sigh, his counterpart approaches, bright eyes looking into Logan’s dull ones.

You know the right decision. Choose wisely.

By the time Logan blinks he’s alone again. It’s not a shock, but for as much as he despises the side Logan sometimes appreciates the visible company.

However, this just gives him more time with his thoughts. More time to dig through his memories for more moments of being interrupted and stepped on. Who are they to shut him out like this? Do they not notice he’s been different? Do they even care?

Anger burns hotter than the pain and Logan wants to scream. He’s right. Friends don’t do that. How could he allow something as trivial as faux friendship distract him from the things that truly matter?

It’s time.

Logan doesn’t even try to argue. Instead, he reaches up to undo his tie and promptly yanks it to the floor.

“I think you’re right. Let’s go.”

Logan’s alone, but not completely.

------------

Wooo I wrote a thing!! Guys I remembered how to write!!! For the first time in like six months!!!!!!!

Huge credits to @becamoonsy for the encouragement to get back into writing. This isn’t my best (or even that good) but it helped fix my writer’s block so damn it I’m posting it!!

#sanders sides #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #wtit spoilers #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #ts logan

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an-annyeoing-writer · 3 years

Text

vulnerability. – chap. 1.

Read the prologue here

Story info:

Pair: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

Rating: +18 for mentions of s*x and violence (future chapters)

Genre: angst, smut

Chapter info:

Release date: 16th May 2021

Word count: 3 727

Warnings: mentions of trauma (nothing descriptive)

Vulnerability Masterlist || Fanfiction Masterlist || Ko-Fi

Taglist:

@shesdreaminginoverdose @mybiasdashboard @marimsun @byuns-asscheeks @multi--kpop--fanfics @vunv @making-me-blush @skittlez-area512 @bloopbloopkai @byuns-asscheeks @baekyeonoreo @kimcarinaa

Please, always comment on the newest chapter if you wish to be added to/removed from the taglist. I will be also checking the tags, so if you're shy – feel free to leave a note this way.

Previous (Prologue)

Chap. 1.

Living in a small apartment close to the city center was not always convenient.

You regretted you couldn’t buy all the pretty things that you saw in stores or on Pinterest, because they’d easily overwhelm the limited space. Your neighbors constantly reminded you that they’re a few meters away from you, with screams, children’s cries, music, or chopping meat at 2 AM if that’s what a particular neighbor decided to do.

Fortunately, as the time passed, you got used to most of it and started to appreciate the small space, almost effortless to keep clean, close to both your university and the workplace, and the city center – an area that was always restless during the long days and nights that you spent watching it through your tall window, as if waiting for someone to look back at you.

Despite the comfort of living alone that you tried to indulge in, you couldn’t help growing lonelier and lonelier with every passing day. At the very least, your job and university often took the worries off your mind, and they eventually became your whole life, an existence that focused on never-ending effort in the name of better future, as though there was nothing in the present worth fighting for.

You studied finance; you didn’t give it much hope at first, but it ended up becoming interesting as you started connecting the dots and realizing how broad and important this topic was. Yet, as any newborn financier, you used your secret knowledge in the mysterious field of retail. In other words, you worked part-time as a cashier in a convenience store. Twenty four years old, on your way to getting that famous Master’s degree, already more than halfway through the process, yet – education without experience mattered nothing, as you realized the very moment you started looking for your first job, unable to keep counting on your parents. Not like you wanted to stay in touch with them, anyway.

Adulthood was difficult; the small apartment, due to its location, costed more than your whole family’s used to in your hometown. A small scholarship kept you set up with electricity and water fees, but for WiFi you needed to depend on a close-by library with a good signal; it turned out to have the connection good enough to reach from at least one place in your apartment, the one you coincidentally used for occasional observations. You weren’t sure whether you discovered the WiFi while sitting or if you developed the observing habit upon having to spend your time there over any other place. The only downside of this solution was that some sites were blocked after a scandal over men in the library performing actions other than polite studying, with the help of library computers. The event was outrageous to some, but primarily it became an object of jokes and memes all thorough the city, and maybe even country-wide to some extent. Either way, in times of need, your phone still had its meager data transfer. Good enough.

It was Saturday now; Saturdays were good but busy, because you worked at nights, then slept the shift off, and after you woke up, you could go and study all that you missed throughout the week, if for any reason the classes didn’t sound appealing enough or something else happened, distracting you from them. You spent Saturday afternoons either by the window of your room (where the WiFi reached) or just went straight to the library – a place way more spacious than your own apartment, and quieter as well. The only issue was, that you couldn’t snack in there and you ought to stay quiet. You decided to go with the latter and set foot towards the library.

Therefore, when your phone suddenly rang there, a few faces snapped towards you in obvious disapproval; you cursed internally, before you even managed to pull the phone out of your pocket, because you panicked so much that your hands shook at the initial attempt to do so. You got up from your seat and quickly disappeared between the bookshelves, where the people staying by the tables wouldn’t hear you so well anymore.

“Hello?” you whispered into the phone.

“Hello. Am I disturbing you?”

Your heart dropped as you recognized the voice, although you weren’t completely certain if you recognized it well, it sounded a bit different through the phone. The number was unknown on your phone, but there was only one person that could be calling you today.

You took a few seconds to compose yourself; less than you actually needed, but just enough so that the silence would not turn awkward.

“Um… I can’t talk loudly, but that’s okay.”

“I can call you later.”

“N-no need to, I’ll just whisper.”

“Okay, then.” He was quiet for a few seconds, but you heard some shuffling on the other side. “Do you have time tonight?”

The question was sudden, so you weren’t completely sure, if you did. But your mind felt too empty to figure that out, anyway.

“No. I mean, yes. Sorry, I meant I don’t have plans. So, um, yes, I’m free.” This didn’t sound professional at all. However, you heard quiet laughter on the other side and exhaled almost audibly in relief; it was the first time you heard him laugh with you, and it served to calm your nerves like a wave of calmness coming over you.

“Well, do you want to meet? I’m going to a museum and I don’t feel like going alone. What about that?”

“A museum? That… sounds nice.” When was the last time you’ve been to one? What a perfect opportunity to make a fool out of yourself. “What time?”

“Around six? If that’s okay with you.” If you remembered well, it had to be around three now.

“Sounds alright, where should we meet?”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“Okay. Thank you.” What were you exactly thanking him for? Hard to tell. But you heard him laugh again; you felt like he’s mocking you, but you quickly realized it couldn’t be the case – a warm voice like this couldn’t be ill-intended.

“Sure thing, you’re welcome. We’re set up, then?”

“A-actually, I have a question, if it’s not a problem.” You bit on your lip, knowing than in less than ten seconds, you were going to probably embarrass yourself in front of an educated and serious adult.

“What’s the matter?” he asked politely.

“So, um… What should I wear?”

* * *

You were grateful for the few tips given by Byun Baekhyun at the end of your conversation, because otherwise you’d either be underdressed or overdressed. You ended up wearing a more elegant university attire, something you usually wore for exams, but which didn’t make you appear too formal; a long, woolen skirt that was your private treasure due to its ability to keep you warm even in winter (and it was still spring; the weather was questionable), as well as leather shoes, a beige shirt and a thick, knitted cardigan. You felt quite modest; something told you that it wasn’t a regular date. You didn’t feel a need to reveal anything, or to focus on your feminine attributes. You just felt like it wouldn’t serve any purpose. As long as Baekhyun was concerned, you had an impression that he’s more interested in your mind than in the way you look – the clothes you wore last time, just a little bit revealing and suggestive, had done nothing to save you. You wanted only to look appropriate, and you were sure you managed to achieve at least that.

As you found out soon enough, he wasn’t particularly dressed up, either. A button-up shirt without without a tie – bow or neck type – and jeans, made of high-quality denim, not like the ripped through or worn out ones people sometimes wore. And a suede coat. Although he wasn’t dressed up to look attractive, it would be difficult not to feel attracted to him. Byun Baekhyun had his own aura of independence and considerate distance connected with subtle proximity, and this time, you had the chance to appreciate this harmony, working perfectly for him, highlighting his soft masculinity. Even more so, when you noted a small, gentle smile that appeared on his lips when he spotted you leaving your apartment block.

“Hi there” he spoke.

“Hi there” you replied.

“The museum is nearby, so I didn’t take the car, is that okay?”

It was probably too late to change the means of transport anyway, so the question was pointless. But no, you didn’t mind.

“It’s okay. What museum are we going to?”

He put hands in the pockets of his coat and tilted his head to the side, observing as you approached. You crossed your hands over your chest; it was a bit colder than you expected, and the skirt only warmed you up at the bottom, the wind still reached the top.

“You should put on something warmer. It’ll get even colder on the way back” he spoke. “Go back and get yourself a jacket, I’ll wait.”

You wanted to oppose and say it’s alright, but you didn’t; it didn’t feel right to argue with him. You only nodded and went home to retrieve a better outwear; you were back in no time.

“So? Which museum?”

You looked up at Baekhyun: the man walked by your side, or – in fact – you were walking by his; he stayed in control of the situation, but resonated with warmth and peacefulness rather than the coldness and stillness you experienced last time. And especially as he spoke, you found yourself easing into the conversation more naturally, and your initial fear quickly turned into innocent shyness upon the older man’s presence.

“A complex of museums nearby. There’s everything there, a historical museum of the region, one about the history of mining worldwide, and an art museum. I wanted to see the last one, I heard they unveiled a few new pieces since the the last time I went. You’re not local?” He glanced at you with polite curiosity.

“Not really. I moved here to study” you explained. “I know the nearby area, but I’m not too… um, social. I only know where to do the cheapest groceries and where they sell the best bread.”

“Where?”

“Behind the river, by the intersection with the highway. It looks small but really, you should try it out. Especially their cinnamon rolls.”

Baekhyun hummed.

“That sounds nice. I can recommend the best pizza in return.”

“You eat takeouts often?”

“Yep.”

“You’d save money if you cooked for yourself. Pizzas are expensive.”

Another warm laugh reached your ears, and through them, your heart as well.

“I’ll save money if I spend the time for cooking on working instead.”

“Okay, that’s a valid point. But homemade food is healthier.”

“Depends on where you buy your takeout.” He seemed to have an answer to your every doubt. “I wouldn’t trust just any restaurant, you know? It’s basically what my diet consists of.”

“Variety is also important. Don’t argue with me on that.”

“I won’t. But I won’t take you for a pizza, if that’s your stance on that.”

“I didn’t say I don’t want it” you remarked right away; he replied with laugh, which you found yourself copying naturally.

The conversation flowed smoothly, reaching more or less unimportant topics: the city life, current events, your university, possible career, Baekhyun’s interests – you found out he likes music; it’s too sad to work in silence – and the museum you were going to.

The place you felt initially quite neutral about, brought you more peace than you expected it to. It looked harmonious and the lights were soft. No one hurried through the gallery, and the paintings, although not so interesting at first, you soon learned to appreciate, trying to catch onto small details that, you could tell, Baekhyun already knew by heart, but he smiled every single time you pointed at something specific that caught your attention, even if it was as silly as matching colors, or realistically portrayed lights – these were your favorites.

And, slowly but surely, you got accustomed to the pretty sights, excitement turning into relaxation, and even Baekhyun himself seemed more content than you thought he’d be in your presence.

“You’re different,” you spoke as the two of you sat on a bench in front of one of the tall, monumental pieces; this one was a modern painting full of splashes and mixed colors, soft browns, yellows, and greens, so big that it definitely wouldn’t fit in your bedroom – the first thought you had upon seeing its size.

Despite the painting being in the very center of the gallery, you were the only ones watching it now.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re different today than you were yesterday” you elaborate. “Less… intimidating” you tried to put your thoughts into words.

Baekhyun laughed in response; the laughter was soft and warm, which made you exhale in relief – you feared that he’d feel offended at the remark.

“Yesterday was different. I needed to test you.”

“What do you mean?”

He stared at the painting as he leaned forward, resting elbows on his knees and shifting a little bit, probably thinking how to say the thing he had to say, without causing misunderstandings. You stared at him, completely having lost interest in the painting by now, ready to hear out whatever was to be spoken.

“People often come to me because they’re attracted to me. Well, not blaming them” he grinned; you rolled your eyes a little, but it did relieve the tension, most likely according to his own intention. “However, I’m not interested in romantic relationships. If you come to me expecting a date, you’ll get disappointed. And you won’t be able to handle what it is truly about, if I’m the only thing keeping you interested. It’ll be a hassle for the both of us.”

He glanced at you only briefly, ensuring that you’ve heard him so far before shifting his eyes back forward.

“So I’m always like this at first, just to see how determined you are, and how you behave under pressure. Then I leave you for a few minutes so you have the time to reconsider and leave if willing. That’s a safety measure for you.” He stopped for just a few seconds. “And you – all of you – always check what’s on the other side of the sheet. That’s a safety measure for me.”

“Safety measure?”

“Trust is the basis of the whole deal. If you don’t admit, that you looked at it, it means you’ll keep hiding things later on as well, and I can’t have that.”

“So if I…”

“Yes. If you didn’t correct your statement, we wouldn’t be here right now.” The words sounded ominous even despite the calm tone that Baekhyun used.

“I understand.”

You actually did; the strange aura of yesterday’s meeting finally started to clear out, leaving the simplest facts that all fit into the bigger picture. Yet, you still didn’t know enough. There were more things, more questions, each of which demanded an answer of its own. However, you were still unsure of your stance, and of what Baekhyun had planned for you – for the both of you.

“Will you accept me, then?” you asked finally, breaking through the silence.

“I don’t know yet” he replied in an honest tone, finally reciprocating your gaze. His features were soft, you could tell, he tried not to hurt you with his words. “You’re a nice girl, but I’m not sure if it’ll work out. I need more time. Primarily, I need to get to know you better. And I feel like you need more time, too.”

You nodded slowly.

“Could you, um… tell me more about it?”

“About what I do?”

“Yeah. You didn’t tell me much last time. You mostly only asked questions.”

“True. I may answer some of yours, if you’d like. What are you interested in?”

You cleared your throat; some questions seemed more intrusive than the others and you preferred to leave them for later.

“What would you want to do with me, if we set up a um… a scene?” Is that how you professionally call it? You didn’t remember all that well; you were, in fact, with no experience, only the Internet and your own curiosity to lead you forward – the temptation to explore your interests had been progressing in silence up until now.

“Well, depends on what would be suitable. I do different things with different people. Sometimes, it’s about what they like, and sometimes about what I like, and, the most often, it’s about what we both like. Everyone needs a different approach. I enjoy finding the right approach, and exploring it. It’s different when you start with a virgin, different when you start with a brat, different when you start with someone experienced, different when you start with someone with trauma. The last type is a person I don’t like engaging in. It’s a vulnerable ground and the person often seeks relief instead of therapy. I’m not a therapist. I’m a dominant.”

You took your time to analyze his words and put them all together in your head before you spoke again.

“You wrote something like that on the sheet. That I may have trauma.”

“That’s different,” Baekhyun was quick to elaborate. “Everyone has trauma of sort. Childhood traumas are more common than you think. I meant specifically trauma that comes from similar ground as the one I’m on. It’s not the case for you. According to what you said, you’ve never had any experiences like this and never engaged sexually or romantically.”

Pointing that out hurt a little; yes, so what if you’re 24 years old and a virgin? You had the right to choose your pace. But, you quickly realized, it was your own insecurity poking at you, because Baekhyun sounded anything but judgmental. He didn’t seem particularly impressed either – and you were thankful for that as well. You’ve seen enough men sounding excited when a woman was discovered to be unexperienced. You hated that even more than those who made fun of you; and in the long run, you just learned not to overshare. Telling Baekhyun this truth wasn’t the easiest, so having him say it so casually was definitely weird in your ear.

“However, that’s also a vulnerable point. You don’t know what you’re getting into. It looks different on the screen or in the books than it is in real life. I’m not going to reject you just because you’re new, because everyone’s been at some point. But you must understand, it’s a responsibility, and I don’t want to take one I’m not capable of handling.”

“Have you ever been with someone else like that?”

“With a virgin?”

“…Yeah.”

“Yes. Once. But I didn’t handle it too well back then.”

“What do you mean?”

Baekhyun rubbed his chin, pressing his lips together in slight uneasiness. But you didn’t revoke your question – maybe you should have, for the sake of his comfort, but you felt that the answer wouldn’t be meaningless to you.

“She wanted to be exclusive,” the man finally answered. “I tolerated her for too long. I should have broken the deal as soon as I started seeing red flags, instead of ending up sleeping with her. It made everything only worse.” He spoke quietly, making sure people passing by at times would hear no word. You heard everything clearly, though. “That’s why I’m more picky now. Breaking the deal is not a good thing if it comes from one side. It may leave the other devastated, that’s why I’d rather reduce the risk in advance.”

He looked at your face, seeking understanding and acceptance. You nodded slowly, trying to keep your face as neutral as possible. You didn’t want to add to the pain already displayed on his own. But you appreciated his transparency.

“Does it mean that sex is not always involved?”

“With me, it rarely is” he admitted patiently. “I’m not against it, but I usually do other things. People rarely expect it, and I never pry. Mainly, because in this particular case, I do expect exclusivity. So, as long as no sex is involved, I know some of my subs are dating other people, or even engaging with other doms. However, for safety reasons I demand health checks prior to intercourse, and so on. Not just for me, but because I’m not exclusive myself.” You wondered if his choice of vocabulary was meant to make things less awkward. “However, actual sex is only one of the possibilities. Sexual pleasure that doesn’t involve direct touch may be used as a tool for training, for rewarding and for punishing, even as entertainment… not necessarily to the person it influences. As I said, it depends on who it’s done with. And it may take different forms, too. What’s your stance on that?”

“I don’t feel like I’d be able to as much as undress in front of someone who’s not my doctor” you answered almost instantly, the answer obvious to you, a matter you’ve thought about enough. “Although… well, I suppose it takes time. I’m not against the idea, just… you know.”

Baekhyun only nodded; you glanced at him, feeling a need for any reply that’d soothe you a little.

“I understand. That’s okay.”

You figured it out now; using more formal language made it less embarrassing to listen to. It’s like he tore the words off emotions and left facts only, and you found yourself easing into saying more and more, your embarrassment dissolving as well. No judgments were made.

“Is there anything else you want to know?”

“A lot, to be honest. But I think I know enough for now.”

Right as you said the last words, a sound echoed in the museum, in a soft female voice saying that the museum will close in fifteen minutes.

You took one last glance at the huge painting in front of you, but you felt like, at this point, you wouldn’t find anything new among the random stains and splatters. Baekhyun got up from his seat on the bench and so did you. You spotted him hide a small yawn behind his hand.

The day was coming to an end, and so was your small date – as un-date-ish as it could be.

* * *

Please, reblog if you enjoyed, it'll help me a bunch!

Author's note: hope you're enjoying it so far! Trying to give it a bit sense before more things happen, and, hopefully, this chapter clears it out a little bit. Feel free to talk to me if anything is unclear!

Next (Chapter 2.)

#exowritersnet #kdiarynet #bbh-net #exosnet #exo baekhyun #exo bbh #bbh x reader #bbh #exo #byun baekhyun #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fanfiction #exo x reader #baekhyun x reader #vg: vulnerability #vg: exo #vg: baekhyun #vg: series

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ana-benn · 3 years

Text

This was requested 😘

Three's Company

Warnings: mfm poly relationship, it's filthy.... I don't know. Also I wrote it as snippets along the relationship timeline so that's a thing.

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There had always been drawbacks to 'dating' Tyler. You'd followed him from Toronto to Boston looking for a change of scenery, and eventually the two of you started hooking up. It was a completely casual, and you'd take little breaks here and there to see other people. Initially though it just made sense. You cooked together, hung out together, and occasionally slept together. You felt like amplified best friends, and it worked for where you were in life.

Of course his trade to the Stars was a little unexpected, but it brought you two a little bit closer. Another move, and the decision to get a dog settled you both down and made you start thinking about maybe making a serious go of your relationship. Then he'd brought Jamie over, and you were done. He was like the opposite of Tyler and you loved it. Shy, and sweet but the ability to be ferocious bordering on animalistic.

Tyler was more goofy and fun, with a passion that left you feeling weak, but overall he was way more high energy than Jamie. You'd gotten close to Jamie as he and Tyler built a relationship, and you didn't know how to broach the subject with either man. You wanted them both, and it was so obvious to you that if you could make it happen for the three of you that was ideal situation.

Of course being as, while you and Jamie both had a shy side, Tyler did not and he full on approached the subject over dinner one night. You'd nearly swallowed your chicken whole, and Jamie choked on his beer at Tyler's proclamation that the two of them should share you.

"Tyler," you hissed.

"What? Come on babe, we both know you'd be into it," he grinned. "I've seen you check Chubbs out."

You couldn't deny it, so you acted maturely and stuck your tongue out at him, while Jamie stared in between the two of you.

"I'd be willing to try it," Jamie offered after a moment. Tyler lit up like Christmas then.

"Yes! I knew this would work out," he beamed wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

That first night was awkward and it took a while to feel completely comfortable. It seemed no matter what you did someone was being left out, and you weren't used to splitting your focus in bed. It seemed as though when Tyler would thrust Jamie would pull, or vice versa, and you quickly felt overwhelmed by the amount of hands on your body. Finally though as you laid in-between the two men you realize just how perfect it all felt.

-------------------------------

After that first time it seemed like none of you could stay away. Jamie had tried to back off, not wanting to overstep, but you'd shown up at his door with Tyler in tow and the three of you had set up ground rules. You'd be free to sleep with either or both of them, whenever or however no hold barred. You threw out that they could sleep with one another if they wanted to, and then laughed as they both looked at you completely unamused. Of course as time went on you almost became convinced that the were, even if neither mentioned it to you. You had set up a limitation that if they wanted to sleep with other women you did prefer that they used protection. Both of them thought about and decided that they didn't want to do that. You knew it wasn't exactly fair, but you weren't going to argue either.

You'd gone back and forth on living arrangements for months after that. Transferring between Tyler's and Jamie's, before deciding that you should probably get a place all together. You'd make sure each of the boys had their own space, but you couldn't keep track of where any of your stuff was and it was driving you crazy.

As you moved in though you realized your one mistake, it seemed these two were completing constantly.

Who loaded more boxes? Tyler claimed it, but you'd noted Jamie taking a couple more than him. Not that you would tell anyone. You just laughed and shook your head.

Who brought in more boxes? Definitely Jamie, Tyler was outside showing the dogs their new yard.

Who put more boxes away? That was you, but then again you didn't really want them touching your clothes or trying to put dishes away.

Who set up more electronics? Tyler, hands down. Jamie had a hard time managing his own spotify account, and Tyler would be pissed if he missed any golf.

All day it went like that. You couldn't help but laugh at their pitiful faces when they lost one of their challenges either. You'd just pull them into a hug, and stroke their hair while high fiving the winner.

You'd thought through all the different options for bedrooms, and eventually decided that your room would be the common room. If the three of you decided to spend the night together, which you often did, you'd do that in your room. Jamie and Tyler each had their own rooms, so that they could decompress or be separated if the need arose.

That first night though, you felt completely relaxed. Both men had followed you up to bed and before you'd even finished your nighttime routine Tyler was behind you, lips on your neck. He walked to towards the bed with his hands guiding your hips. Once you were in-between Jamie' thighs he pulled you into himself, and pulled your chin up. He trapped your lips in a searing kiss, before his hands began to wander.

Tyler moved to cup your breasts, while Jamie palmed your ass, and they seemed to work in sync at trying to turn you into jello. They'd rotate between your lips and neck, and as soon as one broke for air the other was pulling your face back towards them. Teasing hands, gentle lips, co-mingled with the scratch of facial hair on your skin, and you'd never been so happy that most of the time all three of you slept in the nude. Jamie eventually moved back onto the bed pulling you with him, and resting you over his hardness. Instinctively you ground down on him, causing him to groan out.

Tyler walked around the bed, and Jamie flipped you over and started preparing to enter you from behind. Meanwhile Tyler nudged your lips with his cock, instinctively you opened up letting him enter your mouth. He and Jamie both groaned over you as they slid home, and you felt deliciously full. At this point the three of you knew your dance well, so as Jamie started moving so did Tyler. Jamie usually took the lead, so he would thrust and Tyler would follow, keeping you in a perfect rhythm. The ebb and flow of them worked your body into a state of utter bliss, and before you knew it you were spasming around Jamie. You vaguely heard him swear as you fell under the waves of your own orgasm.

"FUCK," Jamie yelled as he sent ropes of hot cum into your pussy. Before you could react, or even fully recover you felt Tyler (who'd pulled out of your mouth when you'd orgasmed) pull you onto his own cock. If Jamie was rough, and feral with his thrusts Tyler was meticulous and operated with precision. Jamie wanted to throw you into an orgasm, thriving off of the intensity. Tyler want to draw them out of you, wanting to be in control.

Tyler worked your clit as his slowly thrust towards his own completion, you felt yourself quivering within minutes. Jamie leaned forward catching your lips in his, as Tyler worked your neck again. Finally you cried out as you clenched around Tyler. Satisfied he allowed himself to release deep inside of you, he held your hips as you slumped forward into Jamie.

You were aware of Tyler whispering praise to you as Jamie grabbed a towel to clean you up. Tyler got the covers pulled back and after you were cleaned up Jamie slid in on the other side of you. Your head on Tyler's shoulder, as Jamie wrapped his tattooed arm around you. You fell asleep completely warm and comfortable.

-------------------------

The downside to your relationship was easily that you could only publicly lay claim to one of the guys at a time, and it had just been easier to stay Tyler's girlfriend. As you stood outside the locker room waiting for the guys to come out you noticed the crowd of girls gathered around by the barricade in their Benn jerseys and it made you see red. You tried really hard to hide your jealousy, but it wasn't always do-able. Tyler came out first wrapping you in his arms, excited after a win.

"Ugh, I wish they all went like that!" He exclaimed, spinning you around. It took him a moment to realize your excitement was a little faked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's stupid," you mumbled. Jamie probably would've left it alone, but Tyler liked to pick. He thought exposing where your weaknesses were made you stronger as a unit.

"Nope, gotta talk about it," he sing songed as you waited for Jamie.

"Ugh, fine," you huffed. "It's just hard knowing we're going to walk by those girls over there and there's nothing I can do. At least people know we're together. Jamie's like this free man, you know? I feel like I have no public claim and it sucks."

Tyler looked like he wanted to laugh, which caused you to roll your eyes, "It's not funny Ty."

"What's not funny?" Jamie asked as he walked out of the locker room. You couldn't help but appraise how good he looked too. You wanted to kiss him... But you knew that wouldn't happen until you were in the car. Meaning first you had to brave the throngs.

"Someone's jealous," Tyler answered, as you blushed.

"Oh, really?" Jamie laughed.

"You guys both suck," you said as you stomped away.

They laughed as the followed you, as Tyler shouted, "You're hot when you're mad,"Causing the girls you were passing to go crazy.

You turned around and flipped them both off, before resuming your march back to the car. Surprisingly Jamie showed up before Tyler, and you quirked an eyebrow.

"He's signing jerseys," Jamie explained.

"You know it's just as strange for me too," Jamie said after a long moment. You turned and looked at him, confused. "I have to give vague answers about who I'm seeing, or make sure if I post a picture of us together Tyler is there.... It's not any easier just because some girls think I'm single. I don't feel single. I'm so crazy in love with you it blows me away, I don't want to hide or pretend that this isn't real. It is, and I need to know that you know that."

You launched yourself at him then, fusing your lips to his as you leaned over the console, "I love you too, Jamie," you said. "I don't question your love. I just wish I could express it more publicly."

You settled back into your seat, and you noticed Tyler walking towards the car. He pouted as he got in the backseat.

"Just get my number tattooed on you," Jamie joked, winking at you as Tyler got settled.

"Well you are my favorite," you played along.

"Excuse me," Tyler interjected. "If you're getting anyone's number it should be mine! I like tattoos more," he proclaimed. "Besides I thought you were mad at Jamie, now you're ganging up on me!"

"What can we say Tyler, we're just emotionally healthy," Jamie joked. "You're the one who decided to hand out and flirt."

You laughed as Tyler grumbled in the backseat.

----------------------

Fifteen days. The words felt like an echo in your mind, resonating with self pity. Jamie and Tyler would be gone for fifteen miserable days, and someone had to stay home with the dogs. Gerry laid his head in your lap as you sat on the couch, and both boys were packing.

"I'm mad at you," you whispered to him. He looked at you, before deciding to kiss your cheek. "Yeah yeah, you're forgiven," you sighed getting up off the couch.

"Jamie!" You called out, walking up stairs.

"What?" He yelled from his closet, you went in search of him.

"What are you doing?" You whined.

"I'm packing baby," he said gently. Kind of confused.

"You're supposed to be the responsible one, why'd you wait until the last minute?" You groaned flopping on his bed. It had been almost a year in this house and you could count on one hand the number of times he'd slept in here. Tyler got banished more to his room than Jamie ever did.

"Because you insisted that it was more important that we play Mario last night," he reminded you.

Tyler came wandering down the hall just then, "Hey Jamie, do you have any..." He laughed when he saw you. "Someone's feeling whiny huh?"

"You have no idea," you pouted. "If I kneecap you can you stay home?" You asked sitting up.

"They'd sideline me, I'd still have to go," he reminded you.

"Jamie," you pouted. "You're the captain, can't you do anything?"

"Sure," he lied, wanting to antagonize you. "But I won't." He grinned.

"You're both awful," you grumped. "I'm going to spend so much money while you're gone."

That one got Jamie to laugh, "And that's different... how?"

You sighed dramatically, as you headed for the door, "I don't like either of you anymore."

You heard their laughter as you went in search of something to keep you distracted. You wound up just cleaning the kitchen, and when you did you found a business card for the tattoo artist that the guys used. You'd never gotten one, but you did want one. It gave you an idea, and you tucked the card into your back pocket as you heard the guys coming downstairs.

Tyler kissed you first, a playful nip on your lips followed by a slow dance with his tongue. Jamie was more forceful, crushing your body into his as he cupped your face. They really were two halves that made you feel whole, and you felt so overwhelmed by how much you simply just felt for them.

-------

When the guys got home, they were surprised you weren't at the door waiting like normal. Instead you were out in the pool with the dogs. You smiled brightly as they came out to greet you.

"The fearsome warriors return," you giggled.

"Ah, mi'lady twas a long journey. We have returned more victorious than not," Tyler played along, while Jamie shook his head chuckling.

"Well, I got you a present," you smiled, getting out and walking towards them.

"And here we just brought laundry," Jamie grinned catching you by the waist and kissing you deeply.

You moaned at the taste of his lips, trying to deepen it, before you heard Tyler clear his throat, "What about me." You laughed at his playful pout. Extracting yourself from Jamie and kissing Tyler. There was more playfulness there. Little nips and he drew your bottom lip between his teeth before releasing you.

"Now what about our present," Tyler wiggled his eyebrows.

"Not that you perv," you playfully slapped at him. Then appraising the two of them you added, "Well not yet anyway."

You undid the leather cuff on your left wrist and proudly showed off your new tattoo, "Look!"

You had a small heart inked on your skin with the numbers 914 in the center. You grinned broadly as they took it in, Tyler as usual reacted first. Kissing you deeply, while Jamie grabbed your wrist and kissed the mark on your flesh.

"Absolutely perfect," he grinned.

Tyler nodded his agreement, "Yep, I agree."

#jamie benn #oh captain my captain #dallas stars #hockey #nhl #dallas hockey #dallas sports #stars dallas #tyler seguin #jamie benn x reader x tyler Seguin #im not okay #sorry im shit at ending fics #jamie benn fanfic #tyler seguin fanfic #bennguin

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ohh-baekhyun · 4 years

Text

Sugar | 03

summary: Getting into a performing arts college isn’t cheap. In desperate need of money, you sign yourself up on an online dating site called Sugar. There, you match with a wealthy man named Mr Byun.

genre: Softdom!baek, sugardaddy!au, teacherxstudent!au

taglist : in comment section. im sorry if i missed you, i deleted some of my asks the other time. let me know if you wanna be tagged :)

One Month Later

Living in a spacious apartment had its own downside. More often than not, I felt lonely, but I wasn’t complaining. Baekhyun didn’t come over everyday because he wanted to give me time to do things that didn’t involve him. I think they called it me time, whatever that was. Baekhyun said it was to prevent us from growing too dependent on each other, which could be unhealthy. And as much as I disliked it, he was right. Our relationship wasn’t permanent, and there would come a time when either one of us had to call the arrangement off. I would be sad, because that’s human, but not to the point where I became depressed.

When I wasn’t spending the day with Baekhyun, I’d be practicing the piano. After my father passed away, my stepmother had sold off our Steinway and stopped paying for my lesson. I was lucky to know a friend who allowed me to practice at her music shop for free. When I wasn’t practicing, I would be at home, taking care of my little plants on the balcony. They were like my babies.

Since Baekhyun had suggested that I learned a new language, I’d decided to take up Chinese. He had offered to hire a home tutor for me, but I insisted on learning it myself because Chinese lessons were expensive. We argued about it for a while, until he decided he wanted to learn too. We had our lesson together every Sunday afternoon for two hours. Our tutor, Miss Fei, was a long time friend of Baekhyun. And for some reason, she was always picking on me over the slightest things. Sometimes when Baekhyun wasn’t looking, she would kick my leg, step on me or pinch my arm under the table. If I had to guess, I think she didn’t respect me because she knew Baekhyun was paying for me. That’s why I’ve been working a part time job as a piano accompanist at a ballet school. It was an easy job with a reasonable pay, and I only had to be there twice a week. Thanks to that, I had finally saved enough to pay for this month’s lessons. I just didn’t know if Baekhyun would accept it.

Today was a Saturday and I was doing the homework Miss Fei had given us. I’d actually finished everything but I wanted to double check to avoid mistakes. I was scolded for making just one error last week, and if Baekhyun wasn’t there, I thought she might even beat me.

By the time I was done, I was too tired to climb to bed so I’d fallen asleep on the desk. What woke me up was the creaking sound from the door opening. I lifted my head from my folded arms and looked at the door. “Hi Mr Byun,” I greeted, my voice soft and languid. He was dressed casually in a black sweatshirt and pajama pants, his hair tousled like he had just woken up from sleep and rushed here immediately.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, approaching me.

“Chinese homework,” I answered. “Can you help me check if there’s any mistake?”

He stopped behind my chair and bent over to rest his palms on the desk. His chest touched the back of my head as he scanned my workbook. Suddenly I stopped feeling sleepy but hyper aware. Baekhyun leaned closer when he reached for a pencil, and I had a feeling it was deliberate because the thing he was reaching for was just next to my book. I inhaled, feeling warm all over. Baekhyun remained silent as he continued checking my work. “This one–“ he drew a cross next to my wrong answer. “–is supposed to be a wǔ, not wù, they have different meaning, sweetheart, he explained.

I picked up an eraser and wiped it off before making a correction. If he hadn’t caught that, Miss Fei was gonna to go ballistic. I sighed in relief and glanced up from my desk. He was staring down at me. I wore a grateful smile. “Thank you,”

“Welcome,” He whispered, leaning down to drop a kiss on my lips.

“Why are you here, Mr Byun?” I asked when he pulled away.

His brow furrowed. “Do you not know what day it is?”

My eyes flew to the desk calendar, then I glanced up at him again. “Sunday?” I said hesitantly. Baekhyun frowned at me and I started to get anxious. “Did I forget something?”

Baekhyun sighed. “You are really unbelievable,” He mumbled, setting down the pencil before pushing himself off the desk. He clasped my hand and tugged me up to my feet. “I have a surprise for you,” he said as he walked me out of my bedroom.

He led me down the short hallway and as I stepped out into the open plan living room, my eyes widened. There were a combination of white and pink balloons floating on the ceiling, and rose petals scattered on the floor around the couch. Realization dawned when I saw cake on the coffee table along with other props and gift boxes. I was starry-eyed as he walked me there. I finally glanced at him, my eyes blinking in disbelief. “You did this? for me?”

He wears a smile. “Happy Birthday,”

My eyes flew to the grandfather clock. It was half past twelve. The fact that he remembered my birthday was shocking enough, he even came all the way here at midnight to surprise me. “I…” I didn’t know what to say. Thank you didn’t seem enough.

“Have I stolen your ability to speak, sweetheart?” He teased, one side of his lips curling up. I linked my arm around his and hummed. He chuckled at my sudden clinginess. “How could you forget your own birthday?” He questioned as we both lowered ourselves to the couch.

“I haven’t celebrated in a long time…” I replied, a tremble in my voice. My eyes were getting glassy and I had to keep them open so the tears wouldn’t fall. “Thank you for remembering, Mr Byun,”

“I was going to surprise you at twelve o’clock sharp–“ Baekhyun bent over to light up the candles and I used the opportunity to wipe the tears away. “–but I fell asleep. I hope I’m still the first to wish you?” He asked.

That explained the pajamas. And the hair. My heart warmed at his thoughtfulness. I shifted closer and slid my arms around his waist, giving him a side hug. “You are the first,” And the only one.

Baekhyun straightened his back once he was done and I unwrapped my arms around him. He held the cake towards me. “Make a wi–,” his speech halted as I blew the candles out. He raised his brows. “No wishes?”

I shook my head. “I have everything I need,”

Baekhyun regarded me for a while, seemingly confused, but he didn’t make any comment and placed the cake on the table.

I stared up at the balloons on the ceiling. They were so pretty. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done to me,” I said, looking back at him, a smile on my lips. “I appreciate it, Mr Byun,”

“To tell the truth, it’s my first time doing something like this,”

“Oh?” my head tilted in question. “What about your subs, or your ex-girlfriends?”

“I wrote them a cheque as a gift and they loved it,” he said. “But you don’t seem to like money that much, which is still very strange to me,”

“Of course I like money. But only money I earned with my own hard work,” I clarified. “I look for a sugar daddy to help me pay for college, not to live a lavish lifestyle. So...you don’t have to keep spoiling me,”

“Sweetheart, I like how undemanding you are, but buying you gifts isn’t gonna make me poor,” He insisted gently. “Honestly, every time you say no, it makes me wanna do the opposite,”

I gave him a long stare, hoping for some magic to make him listen. But he just shrugged. I sighed, giving up. “It’s gonna be very hard getting you a present because nothing would measure up,” I muttered under my breath.

“Speaking of present,” he said. “I have another surprise for you,” he tugged at my hand. As I followed him, I really wished he didn’t get me something too extravagant. I’ve been keeping count of the money I owed him because I planned to pay him back one day. Counting all the gifts he bought for me, my hair would turn gray by the time I paid off my debt.

“You said you didn’t want me to spend too much on you, so–” He pushed at the sliding door that led to the balcony. At first, I assumed that he had bought me a new plant, but then, I heard a gurgling sound that wasn’t there before, and as I stepped further in, I finally spotted the surprise.

“You got me a fish?” The surprise made my voice sound a little squeaky. Grinning hard, I moved closer to the rectangular fish tank. They were three little gold fishes. I lowered myself into a squat by the tank and Baekhyun crouched on one knee next to me. My finger tapped on the glass lightly and I giggled when they swam towards me, their fins fluttering in the water. I admired them for a while, and when I felt Baekhyun staring at me, I turned to meet his eyes. “This is the best gift so far,”

“You weren’t this happy when I got you that Chanel bag,” he commented. “I’d do this sooner if I knew,”

“Why did you get me a fish though?”

“I thought you might feel lonely when I’m not here,” he told me. “They can be your company,”

Overwhelmed by this thoughtfulness, I let out a groan of frustration. “You need to stop being so perfect, Mr Byun, it makes me wanna kiss you all the time,”

Laughter filled his voice. “And why is that a problem?”

“Because kissing usually leads to sex…and if we keep having sex, my vagina might actually break.”

Baekhyun blew out a huff of laughter, his eyes full of heat with a mix of amusement. ”I wasn‘t thinking about sex at all, but now I am. Thanks to you,” he murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers slid through my hair and he cupped the back of my head. I stopped breathing, my heartbeat accelerating when he leaned in to press his lips on mine. I let my eyelids drop naturally as he kissed me, soft and slow. When he pulled back, we shared the same desire-filled gaze. “We should go inside,” He whispered over my lips, his words an invitation.

I swallowed and smiled, albeit shyly. “We should,” I whispered back.

Baekhyun glanced over at the fish tank for a second, then his eyes reverted to me. “Do you wanna name them first?” He asked. I bobbed my head, and we were silent for a while as we considered their names. “Hm, what about Bubbles?” He suggested.

“Oh that’s nice! Maybe we can call them Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup?” I proposed. “Since our names also start with a B, I think it’s perfect. What do you think, Mr Byun?”

Baekhyun gave me a soft look and smiled. He probably found it funny that I took this so seriously like I was naming my baby. “Alright, sweetheart,” he agreed.

For the next few minutes, Baekhyun taught me how to care for the goldfishes, like how many times I should feed it daily and how often I should change their water.

We returned to the living room and stored the cake in the fridge for tomorrow. None of us was hungry at the moment.

“I think we should tell Miss Fei to cancel today’s lesson since it’s your birthday,” Baekhyun suggested once we entered my bedroom. He shut the door behind us and stared at me for an answer. Remembering something, I put him on hold as I searched for my purse. This room was too big. Baekhyun took a seat on the edge of my bed and watched me. “What are you looking for?”

Finding my purse under the desk, I lowered myself to the ground and picked up an envelope where I kept my money. I was lifting myself up when Baekhyun reminded me to watch my head. Except it was too late and I’d knocked myself against the roof of the desk. I winced out loud, my hand flying up to rub the pain.

Baekhyun sighed out, shaking his head at my clumsiness. “You’re gonna wind up in the hospital at this rate. Can you please...be more careful?” he reprimanded gently. I flashed him a sorry smile and walked over to him. “Are you okay?” He asked and I answered with a small hum. Despite that, he still observed me closely, probably making sure I was telling the truth.

“I’m okay,” I reassured, climbing into bed and dipped my knee on each side of his thighs. He immediately slid a hand around my back as I lowered myself to sit on his lap, preventing me from falling backward to the ground. “I’ve been saving up,” I told him, holding up the envelope in between our chest. “Here’s this month’s lesson fee,”

He dropped his gaze to the envelope, his brows furrowing. “We’re done arguing about this,” he said firmly.

“Please accept it, Baekhyun,” I pleaded. “I think Ms Fei looks down on me because she knows you’re paying for me,”

He considered me for a moment, his eyes narrowing. “How exactly did you come to that conclusion?”

I tried not to read too much into his reaction. Baekhyun was a rational person, he probably needed to hear all the facts before he made a judgement. “For starter, she’s always picking on me over the smallest thing,”

“She’s a teacher, it’s her job to point out your mistakes, but that doesn’t equal hating you, don’t you agree?” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“But–“

“Not everyone is going to coddle you, princess. You’ll never improve that way,”

A sudden wave of anger flared in my chest. Baekhyun and I argued before, but I’ve never gotten worked up like this. I guessed because this situation hit home for me. I could take a scolding, name calling or even a beating, but not when someone doubted my integrity. I slid off his lap and stood on my feet. He stood up and tried to reach for my hands, but I backed away. He frowned and studied me. I stared back at him, my eyes cold. “I’m not a spoiled girl who needs coddling,” I told him boldly. So unlike me. I wasn't usually the assertive one.

Baekhyun must've agreed because he was speechless for a moment. “That’s not what I said,”

“But that’s what you imply,” I argued.

“If you don’t like Miss Fei, we can always find a new tutor for us.” He persuaded me. “I don’t want us to argue on your birthday,”

I didn’t answer to that. I wanted to tell him about the kicking and the pinching, but I doubt he would believe me. I walked to the other side of the bed to stay as far away as possible from him. I got in bed, pulling the comforter over my body and turning to lay on my side. A few seconds later, Baekhyun appeared kneeling on one knee by the bed, his eyes full of concern as he checked on me. Tears welled in my eyes before I could stop it. "I’m not making up stories like you think I am, Mr Byun,” I said, my voice trembled.

His eyes widened slightly at the sight of my crying, maybe because it was his first time seeing me like this. “I don’t–“ he stopped and sighed, sounding so exhausted all of a sudden. His face was blurry through the tears, but I could still detect the guilt clouding his expression. “Sweetheart, shh,” he shushed and reached over to dab my tears with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “I’m sorry I doubted you. Fei is an old friend of mine, but I should’ve known better. You’re not someone who complains unless something is really bothering you. Had she done something inappropriate to you?”

“I don’t wanna tell you. You’re not gonna believe me.” my words were snippy despite my state. Miss Fei was Baekhyun’s friend of ten years, and I knew him for merely a month. Of course he would trust her more than me.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me right now. But is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

I pulled the cover blanket my head, ignoring him. When he didn’t say anything, it proved that he acknowledged his mistake. Because on a normal day, he wouldn’t appreciate this no-manner attitude from me.

Although I couldn’t blame him for doubting me, that didn’t mean I wasn’t hurt. Dark memories flooded my mind, bringing me back to those tough days when I was still living with my stepmother. She had never believed me when I told her that her boyfriend had been making a move on me. Until it was too late. Well, at least Baekhyun didn’t beat me up like they did. And he apologized. I’d forgiven him, but I didn’t want to speak to him yet. I didn’t care that it was my birthday, the day had never been significant to me anyway.

Author's Note:

hi everyone, it's been a very long while. I updated the 2nd chapter last christmas and in the time i was gone, i was constantly feeling very discouraged and demoralized about my writing. I tried writing story after story but im always worried it isn’t good enough. I've never been confident of myself to begin with, and then with the lack of feedback, I feel even worse. I don't know if I can write any new fics, but I really wanna try completing my ongoing fics hehe thank you for reading this story, i hope this chapter is not that bad, I haven't written for so long. Next chapter is gonna be very fluffy and smutty once the two finally made up! :D and if you like my fic, please show some support by commenting, it's what keeps me going and I really appreciate it! Tell me what you think of this! see you again!

#baekhyun #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun romance #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x oc #exo smut #baekhyun imagine #byun baekhyun #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun x you

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bts-sierra · 3 years

Text

Puzzle Pieces

Yoongi x Reader [ft. Jae x Reader]

Requested

Genre: Angst, Suggestive

Word Count: 14.3k

Warnings: swearing, cheating, drinking, dry humping, heavy make out

Masterlist

“Guys, guys, guys, that was terrifying. I can’t believe you would let me do that,” you say as you storm back into your house. Your friends who are seated on the couch of the living area collectively turn their heads towards you.

“What do you mean?” they question in unison.

“Listen, that was the most traumatic thing I’ve had to do, okay? You guys know how bad I am at this whole dating thing,” you state the obvious.

“Didn’t seem like it when you were leaning into that kiss,” Maya jokes.

You frown at her before it dawns on you that they were all probably looking through the window and that they all just witnessed that kiss. You’d like to argue that it was rather a peck than anything else and was only out of courtesy but that nonetheless didn’t stop your cheeks from turning red of embarrassment. It wasn’t like you had anything against it, just that you weren’t expecting it. Especially if it’s only been a handful of dates so far but this is how it works, isn’t it?

“It’s okay, we’re all in this together, remember? We literally function as a unit to make this thing work. It’s been a couple of dates and you guys kissed so that seems to me like the three of us are doing a great job,” Leila proudly states before bringing her hand up to fist bump the others.

“I’m being serious, guys. Why are we even doing this? Why am I the one to be doing this?” you question yet again.

“Because you need to get out there and experience these things,” Maya and Leila spit out for the hundredth time.

Of course, they weren’t going to take your side. This was their scheming. You liked to think you were all the same level of inexperienced considering it’s true that you all put together form a single unit so how did it make sense that you were the only one that needed the experience? You now turn your focus to the boy that’d been quiet this whole time.

“Yoongi, come on. You’ve at least got to admit, they’re being crazy! Like, shouldn’t they be the ones to go out and date other people? How is it my turn by any means? How does any of this make sense? You’re with me on this one, right?” you plead.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, y/n. You know they’re living vicariously through you. And from what I’m seeing, it does take a whole team to ensure either of you even has a shot with a guy,” he shrugs.

“Ha! Told you so, we’re kicking ass and even Yoongi agrees,” Maya spits out, the pride in her tone, evident.

You let out a loud groan, stomping back to your room. Giggles break out in the distance. Slamming the door shut, you fall onto your mattress, burying your head into the pillow.

You’re pissed to say the least. At yourself, mostly, for agreeing to this. What were you even on? And Yoongi too. You don’t know what to even be mad at him for, for either letting you be swayed and keeping from talking sense to you, or from agreeing to their ridiculous ideas and siding with them. What’ve they done to him? You must’ve left him with them a little too long.

You grab your phone, reading the latest notification: a goodnight text from Jae. He was on top of his game, and that only made it harder for you to find faults in him so you could call off this whole dating thing. It has been your fourth? Maybe fifth? Sixth, even, who knows? date. Like all the others, it’d gone well, a little to your dismay. Maybe it was about time you stop denying that you aren’t made for this because it’s kind of working, isn’t it? You’d hate to admit it but there’s no potential downsides to this except for the fact that you have to see a boy and have to have him parade you around. But that had to change at some point, you couldn’t just lay on the bed all day watching anime now, could you?

You hear a knock on your door before you hear the creek from it opening. You turn around in bed to watch Yoongi shut the door behind him.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks.

“No, you can’t just ‘hey, what’s up?’ me. I thought you were on my side,” anger bubbling up once again.

“Hah, you’re still on that huh? I mean you seem to be undeniably enjoying it so, I was just agreeing with the truth,” he bites back.

Yoongi gave you a hard time over the dumbest things on a regular basis, but lately he was starting to get on your nerves. The truth? What does he even know of the truth? You scoff mindlessly and it irks Yoongi.

“Fine, you don’t want me interfering, I won’t then. It’d be my greatest pleasure,” he mumbles, his tone laced with a hint of annoyance. But who the fuck was he to be annoyed? And what for? He was supposed to have your back. But why? Why do you even need him to? You don’t seem to know, you just needed him to.

You hesitate the slightest before you question, “What’s gotten into you these days? You seem different. And don’t think I haven’t been noticing because I have.”

“What do you mean? Come on, don’t go being this way,” he warns.

You know the type Yoongi is, and you know the type that he despises because of it. After all, it was always you who had to listen to him complain about his whiny ex-girlfriend. She never really seemed to accept Yoongi for the way he is, for who he really is. She had some idealized version of him and always thought that her love could change him, could make him less of who he is and more of who she wanted him to be. But that’s not really love now, is it? She always wondered what was wrong with him when that was just the way he is, and she’d know that if she’d cared to find out for herself. It’s a good thing they broke up.

“I’m sorry, you just know how much I hate this crap. I don’t even know how I made it this far, to be honest. I literally thought I butchered everything every step of the way,” you openly admit. You don’t know why but you always feel like Yoongi understands you and maybe that’s because he listens the most. Not that Maya and Leila don’t, it’s just they let their opinions and agendas get in the way sometimes. But Yoongi has always clicked with you right from the start, like two halves of the same puzzle. No wonder your little self-used to crush on him all those years ago.

“Maybe it’s because he’s into train wrecks, who knows? You might be playing right into his type,” he jokes.

On any other given day, you’d laugh. But not today. Today you will continue to remain pissed at the circumstances you’ve found yourself in.

“Ha, ha. Very funny,” you say. The sarcasm barely concealed as you deadpan him. “His name starts with a J. No in fact, technically his whole name is just ‘J’. That’s the biggest red flag,” you continue trying your hardest to deny any possibility of this actually working out.

You hear Yoongi sigh before he starts back up. “Jeez, I know you wallow in the comfort of the universe’s odds forever being against you, but this is a bit much. You know those troupes don’t really apply, right? They’re troupes for a reason. You’re running away from this, and I don’t know why. You haven’t even fully given it a fair shot yet. What’s the worst really that could come of this? Especially if you aren’t really that emotionally invested to begin with.”

He’s honest and he’s trying to help but you’re still mad. Mad because it sounds like he’s still on their side. That was, until you looked up at him. For a boy preaching all this, his expressions sure don’t seem to be lining up with the words that just left his mouth. He seems like it pains him to give him that sort of advice and your face softens in return. Yes, Yoongi was the easiest to be mad at, but he was the hardest to stay mad at.

You almost force a laugh out. “You’re one to talk. Look at you, do you even believe what you’re trying to convince me of?”

For the type of person Yoongi is, he fits well with you. Because you both see the world in the same sense. Like it’s devoid of color. A blank canvas that has smudges of lighter and darker shades. And you both look at the people, who look at the world with color, like they’re crazy. But somehow when it comes to you, Yoongi always seems to try on a different lens, hoping to bring some color to yours. Recently more than ever and it confuses you; he knows how much you hate color.

“Yeah, I do but I guess I don’t know if you ever will,” he says defiantly.

Whatever he means by that, you don’t want to know. You already have to figure out a game plan to get yourself out of this mess, you don’t need Yoongi’s out-of-character positivity making this any harder. With that, you usher him out of your room, and you spend hours escaping this reality in watching streams until you eventually fall asleep.

————

It’s been a couple of days and you haven’t really been on the best terms with your friends but it’s about time you get past it because clearly nothing’s changed. Sure, you reluctantly went out on a few more dates and sure you’re actually considering giving Jae a fair shot at this dating thing, but they don’t have to know that. You text the group chat asking if they wanted to watch a movie later that evening and no time your phone goes off, all of them eager to hang out.

After the movie ends, you guys go back to your usual banter over the theme of the film. An age-old trend that seemed to follow you guys since you were freshmen at college. And in tonight’s hot seat was Serendipity. A movie that plays off of the concepts of love, fate and destiny. You all outwardly groan and cringe, but you knew that deep down you all had some glint of hope. That in the end things would work out the way you yearned for them to. And all that hope always tied into one of the three at least. You and Yoongi were on the other spectrum of the debate from Maya and Leila, playing true to all of your characters. Your and Yoongi’s gloomy self’s adamant about the fact that the concept of fate is just dumb luck while Maya and Leila’s liked to think they could maneuver their own hopes and dreams and wishes. Technically from an outsider’s view, it would seem like you were all arguing the same point, however, this always remained unapparent to the lot of you until you had settled the argument. When that would happen, you all would sit back and simply laugh about it, just like the way you are now. Your phone buzzed a couple of times in the last half an hour. It’s Jae, it must be, you think to yourself. Hoping that you don’t draw any attention, you stuff your phone in your pocket and right when you were about to call it a night and head to your room, the group faces you.

“So, how’s it been going with Jae so far? Seeing that you still go out like before, we assumed that you guys are still a thing,” Maya states.

And there it is. Of course, they were saving this for last, you’re their best friend, you should’ve known.

“Yeah, I guess it’s fine. We haven’t really done much else except for the same old. Go out to a different restaurant, try their menu, talk about the food. Then we leave go to the strip mall by the beach and look at things while we walk, attempting to make conversation about our lives. Nothing too zesty, don’t worry. I would’ve alerted you guys of it otherwise.” You keep it short and simple, almost like a memo update.

“Listen, we’re sorry if we made you feel like you had to do this. We just wanted you to and thought you needed the push. You don’t have to go out with Jae, you can do whatever you want, really,” Maya says in return. The other two following suite in agreement.

You’re supposed to be happy about this, elated even. But you don’t know why you don’t. Maybe it was because they told you what to do and now, they’re suddenly backtracking and making it seem like you could just do what you wanted to all along? Well, they’re not wrong. You did agree to it to begin with. Maybe it’s because they’re seemingly on the same page as you buy you know that’s only going to change in the next two days?

You sigh. With a soft smile plastered on your face you reply, “Thanks guys.”

These just seem like excuses that you’re making up in your head and you know it. You want to take away from the fact that you kind of don’t mind the whole dating thing. It’s almost routine now and you’ve managed to fit it into your lifestyle like it’s just another puzzle piece. You definitely appreciate that Jae’s willing to take it at whatever pace you liked best. So now then how were you going to act like you’re relieved that you don’t have to keep at this any longer?

You look over at Yoongi almost instinctively. You don’t know what it is but you only seem to care about what he says or feels or does when it comes to such things. Yoongi’s face doesn’t give anything away. After your talk that night you were hoping to get more indirect input from him of any sort but that’s a dead end. Gosh, he should play poker, he’d beat the table with the way he masks his expressions. You never read the room until Yoongi. His face is like a puzzle in itself and you’ve come to realize that you quite like piecing it together. Always have ever since you were a kid, and you guess it’s just habit at this point. And just like that, after another pointless conversation, you all retreat into your rooms.

————

You’re on your how many ever-th date with Jae and you can’t help but think how sweet of him it is to still find the time to take you out despite how busy he seems to be with planning his friend’s bachelor party. Jae had brought you to a rooftop garden overlooking the city for a picnic and you hate to admit that you’re beginning to enjoy this whole ordeal. It was the right weather, the right time of day, the right view, and the right spot. Like puzzle pieces, they all fit to make a beautiful collage for you to store this moment away in your memory.

“I really like this place,” you state. Jae looks at you with a bright smile that screams an accomplishment. You hated being out for long and you hated being around more than a handful of people, it always felt so suffocating. Made you enjoy things lesser since you stressed more about things that weren’t in your control. He’d picked up on that as time went by but when you’d asked him a few date nights ago if you guys didn’t go out as much and instead hung out at his place every so often, that was all the confirmation he’d needed. He giggled as he said he’d had a feeling and that he’d change things up a bit. You couldn’t help when your cheeks flushed a rosy pink in reaction. He was doing so great already and you couldn’t help but thank him for bringing you here.

“When do I get to meet your friends? We’ve been going out for a month now and I feel like I kind of owe it to them to at least thank them for pushing you to do this.,” Jae asks in a slightly playful tone.

There he goes asking the dreaded question. This always happens. Right when you think something’s alright and you don’t necessarily hate the world in all its entirety, you feel like you go eating your own thoughts. This is good the way it is, and you aren’t ready to have him meet the group. Nor are you ready to fess up to them that you hadn’t stopped seeing Jae either. You know this is where things start to get messy, but you can’t help but keep wanting to stay in this little bubble that you’ve made for yourself. And it’s kind of crazy now that you come to think of it; you didn’t need them all to function in this environment. And so, it’s been feeling like you get to design your own puzzle pieces now rather than just sitting back and having life piece one for you or even having your friends put them together how they’d like for you. You’ve never felt this in control, and you’d like to dwell in it for a bit longer until eventually the bubble has to burst. It doesn’t have to, yet. Until the puzzle has a missing piece, until then, you’d like to keep it this way.

“Sure, yeah I can introduce you to them sometime. Maybe after the bachelor party, once you have more time on your hands.” It was good enough for now, you thought. It gives you at least a solid two weeks and you can work with that.

The next thing you know, you’re being pulled into Jae’s chest. You can feel his heart hammering against your back as he wraps his arms around you. Your stomach begins to do somersaults and the feeling is almost foreign. Sure, you feel like you’re getting punched in the uterus every month, but this is nothing like that. It’s a lot gentler and more enjoyable. You rest your head on his shoulder as you look up at him. You don’t realize what you’re insinuating until he’s kissed you. His lips move against yours, slow at first until you find yourself shifting underneath him to deepen the kiss. He grabs at your waist, pulling you further into him as your arms instinctively snake up his neck, your thumb lightly stroking his jaw. He slowly moves forward without breaking the kiss, pushing you down onto the blanket. He’s now tracing wet, hot kisses down your neck and you momentarily get lost in this foreign feeling until suddenly your neck touches the searing hot terracotta tiles of the rooftop. You feel the sharp pain instantly and kick back up, bumping your head into his as you do so. Laughter erupts mixed with a bit of your whining and Jae’s concern, his prominent dimples disappearing. You move your hand on to fan the area where your skin met the tile as Jae quickly grabs an ice cube from the mini cooler and rubs it against the reddening skin. His face is still missing his standard set of dimples and it feels wrong, like a puzzle missing a piece. You’ve grown to love his dimples the most, it’s easily your most favorite feature of his and he can tell how much you adore them when he catches you staring at his dent-less cheeks.

“What are you looking at, huh?” he teases.

You sway forward, eyes fixated on his lips now as you bend to grab a few ice cubes from the cooler yourself. Right when Jae leans into what he thinks is a kiss, you shove the ice cubes down his shirt. Your giggles sounding through the roof as Jae looks at you in disbelief not longer than a moment before he grins at you, opting to grab for more ice cubes himself. You watch as he plops one in his mouth, swirling it around. He leans towards you, his wet lips almost touching yours, and before you know it, he’s pressing them to yours. You first feel the softness of his lips before you feel the coolness from the ice as his tongue pushes it further into your mouth. Your cheeks flushed red from what had just happened as the ice melts away in your mouth. You pull yourself away from him as you touch the backs of your hands to your cheeks, trying your best to cool them down.

Your day was great to say the least. It was one for the books and that’s a little bold coming from you. You’re clearly still giddy from the picnic date with Jae, but you like to be tied down to reality. Your usual line of logic kicks in and you force yourself to stop indulging any further than what you already have in today’s events. Because when you feel the slightest amount of happiness like this, it gives the world a chance to steal it. To snatch it right back out from your grasp. And there’s nothing you hated more than just getting the taste of something only for it to be thrown down the drain in the next instant.

Lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed when you walked into the house that it was empty. After a hot shower, you unwind in your bed for the night, Jae keeping you partial company through his flirty texts and the anime you’re currently watching keeping the rest of your mind preoccupied. You text Jae goodnight and before you could process it, you receive a notification from him instantly.

“Wow. That was a first. I must’ve made quite the impression today, huh?”

You groan. You hated being called out like this. For little acts you’ve picked up from him. You don’t like being tied to a boy like this, not a boy you’re dating at least.

“Shut up or I’m never texting you at night ever again.”

He doesn’t respond but you know he isn’t upset by what you just said, probably just tired or busy. This was how you always texted him. Anytime you’d show the slightest amount of affection towards him, Jae was quick to jump on it and point it out. You hated that he drew attention to it every single time, he was just such a tease. But at the end of it, he always made you feel comfortable. Ugh. Could he really be checking all the boxes? Who would’ve thought? Hah, maybe all those movies did get one thing right. Maybe you’re not yet sure of fate or destiny but love really does come knocking on the door when you least expect it. You retreat from that thought real quick. Because it’s not that you are in love or anything, that would just be ridiculous. But you didn’t expect to have feelings for this guy whom you never intended on even getting past the first date with.

You plug your earphones in and put on your sleep playlist, scrolling through social media as you try to keep up with everything you might’ve missed in the past week because of Jae. When you notice that your roommates have both posted stories, you click on it to see that they’re at some club downtown, probably for work. Until you see Yoongi in the next half of the recording, yeah this definitely wasn’t a work gathering. They’d gone out and just refused to invite you. You clutch your phone right as you lay your head back down on the pillow, trying your best to wrap your head around whatever was happening without you tonight.

You hear quiet knocks, and you roll around in bed to check the time. It was a little past midnight, and you realize that you’d unintentionally fallen asleep, tangled up in the cords of the earphones. A few more knocks sound at the door, only this time it’s louder. You get off the bed, grabbing your hoodie from the floor and pulling it over you as you rush to unlock and open the door. Yoongi stumbles in, a little sweaty and a little drunk, which takes you by surprise. He holds his liquor well though.

“Uhm hey,” you say as you attempt to steady him.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. You don’t have to baby me,” Yoongi spits out. There he goes again.

You sigh. “I’m not babying you; I’m just making sure you can stand straight. You’re welcome.”

He pushes past you and moves to stand by the edge of the bed. “Why didn’t you come out tonight?”

“What do you mean?” you question, a little puzzled. That’s when you remember the stories. So then, it wasn’t just a dream, they really went out tonight and without me.

“You didn’t come. I was sort of waiting for you to turn up, so I didn’t have to be by myself, you know. Thanks for that by the way,” the sarcasm in his tone evident.

“Excuse you. You guys didn’t even invite me,” you snap back.

“What?” Yoongi’s face mimics yours from before. “Of course, we did. I texted you earlier this afternoon because I didn’t want to have to suffer alone. I know we all hate going out, but you know how Maya and Leila can tend to like it if they’re just the right amount of drunk. And I had a feeling they wanted to unwind tonight so I told you that you had to show up.”

You’re back to being just as puzzled as to why you didn’t show up then. Maybe I missed the text. It’s weird because you always checked your notifications, you hated when the icons had the red circle by it.

“My phone wasn’t on me all day,” you explain. Jae was taking pictures of you on the rooftop, and it must’ve popped up then. “I must’ve not seen it. Sorry today was quite hectic, I was in my own head for most of it. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging,” you finish.

You both were clearly not on the same page about this so you both resort to remain silent for a moment. It rubbed you off the wrong way initially having thought that Yoongi just came by just to pick another pointless fight with you. And although he technically did, it was kind of warranted for this time.

“But that’s weird that you didn’t see it,” he finally says in return.

You’re almost disappointed. Not angry like you thought you’d be, seeing that any pointless fights get you riled up. But now you’re just slightly upset that he thought you weren’t being honest about it.

“What can I say? I missed the text. In fact, I was a bit annoyed when I saw the videos of you guys at the club. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to warrant a missing invite. But oh well.”

You wanted to put an end to it right here. Sure, what Yoongi said hurt a little, but he was the drunk one in this argument after all. And you know him all too well to know that if you didn’t stop it, he’d go at it all night if he wanted to. He’s been that way ever since the breakup, but you’ve learnt to deal with it, having assumed that you’re probably the only one who he acts up around. Because if you didn’t understand him, who else would? So, you choose to, once again, put it to the side like you have every other time in the past month.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come at you like that. I guess I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t gotten so drunk. It’s just been hard, and it was especially harder tonight. I saw her after ages.”

Bingo. There it was. Your heart hurt for Yoongi. He wasn’t the type to date easily, and so he hadn’t. This was his one true shot at it, just like you with yours. That’s when the dread set in. Just like me with mine. Are we the type to be doomed? To have nothing work out for us. No wonder we were right to always see the world in black and white. Because it is. You can’t help falling down this spiral, after all, self-sabotage was your specialty.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Yoongi. I wish I would’ve been there regardless, but you don’t deserve that. I can’t even imagine what crap she might’ve tried to pull on you.”

“Surprisingly, she didn’t. She didn’t do anything. Just minded her business with her new guy. And I think that’s what sucked the most. That she walked in and erased me just like that. Like I hold no place in her life whatsoever while she stills holds one in mine,” he says hopelessly as he falls to the bed.

You usually know what to say but this time you don’t. You were ready to go fight the bitch, to help Yoongi get back at her for whatever. But this, this you were not expecting. How do you get back at someone for nothing?

“Fuck it. You shouldn’t give her the time of day. She doesn’t deserve any of you. She never cared to know you like I do, so she obviously should not hold any place in your life, not anymore at least. I get the memories and I get the time that you guys spent together, but it’s foolish to erase all that in my opinion. It’s made you better in ways that you probably don’t see but I do. So get it together, homeboy. And instead of acting like she never existed, show her that she did but it doesn’t matter now anyway,” you smile proudly, almost encouragingly, dare you think it.

You’re a great listener, but when it comes to advise, you usually just resort to throwing around an “oh well” or “it’s fine.” What you pulled off right now, just might’ve been your best work. Who would’ve thought you could be the one trying to splatter some color into Yoongi’s life?

Apparently, he thinks so too, and you notice it when you look into his eyes and see him wear the deepest smile he’s ever worn.

“Who would’ve thought Miss Gloom would have a little sparkle to her,” he teases.

Now this, this you didn’t like. The moment was over and now you guys must return to, like Yoongi reminded, Gloom Central.

He reaches for your arm and pulls you into him, the alcohol still on his mouth as he whispers a small thank you. Your heart softens, it always does for this boy, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You know he might credit it to his drunken state in the morning but you’re forever going to hold this over Yoongi, you decide.

“You don’t have to thank me for being there for you. You’ll always have-”

You’re cut off when Yoongi smashes his lips onto yours. You freeze momentarily, the only sense being the taste of alcohol on your lips. His mouth moves against yours skillfully, and it’s the most endearing yet the softest kiss you’ve shared. Before you know it, you’re leaning into the kiss, not fully reciprocating it just yet, but giving into it. Yoongi has always felt like home, and you understand what that means in all its entirety when you grab at his shirt and pull yourself into him, like you both needed to breathe the same air, like you both needed to taste the of the same liquor. You feel his hand come down to the sides of your body, every light graze against your body sends a shiver down your spine. The kiss becomes hurried all of a sudden, as if this would be the last moment that you’d ever get to feel this way. You instinctively wrap yourself around him, closing any space that might’ve been there before pulling yourself off him altogether. You’ve almost made it to the other side of the bed without noticing as you let out a strained chuckle. This could not be happening, just when things were so great with Jae, you just had to go and fuck it up, again. It really is a miracle how you guys are still working.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” Yoongi lets out a stressful laugh as well in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“What?” is all you manage to say.

“Oh, like that kiss was just like whatever, you know. A friendship kiss if you will. Just to show my appreciation for you, I guess. I know it sounds ridiculous and I might not make much sense, but I just needed to do that in the moment, I don’t know why. And don’t worry, I won’t act all weird about it if you won’t.”

He never rambles. It’s cute, his mumbling is a string of nervous words and it’s a sight to see. You let laughter to consume you as you bask in the irony of the whole situation. Oh, how you would’ve died for this kiss over a month ago. It wasn’t necessarily wrong, but it definitely wasn’t right, but not like you could just have pushed him off and blurt out that you had a boyfriend. Such a dreaded word, and this isn’t even you being dramatic.

“It’s okay, you idiot. I didn’t mind the friendship kiss all that much. And yeah, like I was saying before, you always got me. Now stop playing and go get some sleep,” you say as you usher him out of your room.

Mild panic sets and to say that you’re a little confused would be an understatement. You know the both of you have no choice but to play it off for the rest of your lives. He may not need to erase his past with his ex, but you guys sure as hell needed to erase that kiss. And you were determined to yet, all night all you could dream of was the stupid kiss. Not the one you shared with Jae earlier in the day, but the one with Yoongi. You couldn’t help but feel like it fit just right with you. Like you both threw in a new piece to the puzzle, and they still somehow fit into you both so seamlessly.

You wake up dreading the day. You weren’t one to condone whatever just happened with Yoongi and so you settled with coming clear to Jae about the events of last night. That was one way to shit on the good time you both had but it was fun while it lasted. You walk into his office with the predetermination that it was over. As you expressed the details of the night to Jae, you can’t help but think this was it. This was goodbye. So, it shocked you when you heard the words that left Jae’s mouth.

“Seems like a friendship kiss to me. Is it really that bad?” he says.

You search his face, for what? You don’t know. You’re looking for anything really, to see if he’s just mocking you, or if he’s being funny or sarcastic, or if he’s fuming underneath the cool words. Nothing. He seems like he genuinely meant what he said.

“You’re not mad? Don’t want to talk about it? That’s it? You’re cool with what happened?” The questions you have for this man are endless. You were sure this was the cherry on top. That he was already so stressed and busy with the bachelor party that you were just probably a nuisance for him to deal with.

“No, I’m not cool with it. But that doesn’t stop the fact that it happened. And given the situation it seems harmless; the dude seems like he was going through it last night. I mean, he better know his place and watch his step, but I can’t really say much else considering I don’t even know what we really are.”

You scowl inwardly. Here you went around thinking of him as your boyfriend potentially, and now you feel like an idiot.

“So... what are we then?”

“Huh?” He’s surprised, you can tell, although he plays it off. What was he expecting? Didn’t get think this conversation was coming? Granted, you did play it down a lot, so you can’t really blame him. You didn’t really know what you wanted this to be yourself.

“Like, us,” you gesture between the two of you. “We obviously aren’t playing around. So then, what does that make us?”

“I guess eventually with time I was going you to be my girlfriend seeing as we’ve been going out for a while now,” his mind a little weary.

It’s a reply for sure. You just don’t know if that was the reply you wanted to hear or not. On the one hand, it feels like things just got a bit messy so adding a whole relationship and the label of a boyfriend would just put more pressure on the situation. On the other hand, you didn’t know where you stood either. Sure, you’d hoped that you got to call him yours, but it’s not really fair now is it if your head is filled with moments you share with a different boy.

“That’s fair. I’d like that too,” is all you manage to say before you scatter out of there, leaving him to his work.

It’s been an odd day, all around. So, you decide to fix it the way you know best. Unwinding with your best friends at home, playing a few games, ordering in from your favorite Chinese place and blaring music so loud you can’t think. It wasn’t too bad a plan for a Friday night. What you weren’t expecting however was that it suddenly turned into one of those wine nights, the only times you agree to some sort of alcohol coating your throat. But it just seemed like one of those weeks for us all.

“Any song recommendations?” you ask the group. You hated being in control of the aux since everybody had such a different music taste from yours.

“Fuckin’ Problems, ASAP Rocky,” Maya screeches. “And then Franchise by Travis Scott,” Leila follows up. Yoongi just nods approvingly. You queue up the songs and get back to the couch, taking a few more gulps of the wine. They all scream-sing the lyrics and it’s always amused you, ever since you first heard them jam to it in university. It’s funny because they vibe like they connect with the song, like they’ve experienced whatever is being said first-hand. But you never question it seeing that it allows them to have a fun time.

“You’re going for it tonight, huh?” Yoongi is beside you and suddenly it feels like the world is an entirely different shade now. Life has become a whole new puzzle now and you’re not sure it’s one that you quite enjoy solving.

You smile at the boy. “Yeah, I guess so. Been a day.”

Yoongi’s face slightly shifts as he takes you in. Your breath hitches when he bends down to grab the bottle from you, downing the rest of the wine.

“What’s your excuse?” you inquire.

“I don’t know if I even know.” You sigh, of course, this was a typical Yoongi response.

A few hours in, everybody is getting ready to pass out, yourself included. Yoongi usually stays over such nights when the group’s all hanging out together. You didn’t mind at all previously but now you’re a little hesitant. You retreat to the bathroom to clean up before you head for bed. When you walk into your room you weren’t expecting Yoongi to be propped up on your bed, a book in hand.

“What’re you doing here?”

He looks over at you and takes you in, all of you in. His gaze lingering a second too long over your body that was draped in nothing but a towel. He smirks to himself as he brings his eyes to meet yours and it feels like he’s piercing your skull. You’re aware that you’re not fully naked, but it sure as hell feels like it. Yoongi seemed to be enjoying this a bit too much for your liking. You head on over to your bed and grab the book from his hands and lightly whack his arm with it.

“Out of my bed,” you command.

“Ooo, she’s feisty today,” Yoongi remarks.

“You still haven’t moved, I want your dirty self, off my bed,” you repeat.

“Okay, okay. Since when did you become such a clean patrol?”

He was trying to keep the situation as lighthearted and casual as possible; you could tell. And honestly, this wasn’t nothing new from anything he’s done before. Except, it still somehow feels a whole lot different. You feel a whole lot different. Yoongi gets up and moves closer towards you and suddenly you feel him uncovering you with his eyes, his mouth turning upwards into a grin while he does so. He was not slick at all, but then again, Yoongi never tries to be slick. He always has all the girls’ attention and you always prided yourself in not being enamored by his raw charm but you’re finding that that thought doesn’t hold any truth anymore. He has you up against the wall and the coldness of it causes a shiver to run down your spine.

“What... what are you doing?” you stutter, eyes widening as Yoongi leans over, caging you. His fingers come up to your arm before he softly traces your skin, getting lower and lower. You gasp unintentionally. His head’s a little tilted as he watches the water droplets coat his fingers. You don’t realize your eyes fixated on mouth until he runs his tongue across his lips and you have to switch your breathing from automatic to manual. He stops to grip your wrist, bringing your hand up to grab the book from your clutch.

“Just wanted this back,” he says as he takes a few steps back.

You’re finally able to breathe again, no training required.

“Asshole” you mutter as you roll your eyes.

“What? Did I do something? I just felt like reading tonight.”

“You know what you did,” you snap back, sort of humiliated but extremely infuriated. So y’all were playing games now huh?

“Yes, I got off the bed like you instructed me to, although you know how much I don’t like being told what to do. I just came to grab the book back,” he says almost innocently.

Ugh, you force a fake smile. “What a tease. Who would’ve known?”

You did. You knew. He was fucking with your head and honestly, you’d seen Min Yoongi work his charm on many a woman. You just never thought you’d be one of them who falls prey to it. The next moment, Yoongi wanders back to you, cornering you once again. He leans into your neck, his nose tickling your bare neck as his husky voice continues to tease you.

“I can’t get the picture of us from last night out of my head,” is all he says before you hear the door click shut.

————

The weekend was a mess of emotions; Jae had continued to stay on top of his game, texting you and calling you whenever possible. He was with his friends most times, seeing as the bachelor party was right around the corner. It kept him distracted enough whenever you guys spoke, so he hadn’t yet realized how distracted you were. You get off the phone with him and pull up Yoongi’s account, scrolling as you try to figure him out. You thought you had it all down pat, seeing as he fits with you so well. It’s the standard, a couple of candid pictures, some selfies, and a whole bunch of his equipment. His social media barely did justice to capture his personality, but that’s the point of it; presenting and advertising yourself a certain way, and you hated all of it. That’s when you saw the picture he was recently tagged in, with some random girl who he probably met at his work or at the club. She had her hands all over him and you don’t know why it irks you, it shouldn’t; he was free to do as he pleased. Ugh. Yoongi was never one to play games but right now it feels like that’s all he’s ever known.

The middle of the work week is the most exhaustive since you’re not only inclined to carry out your daily tasks, but you also have to be a lot more social and that’s the most draining. You had more than the usual number of meetings lined up and after-hour events are still at thing at your workplace. So, when Jae decided to stop by to surprise you, you were beyond relieved. He somehow knew how to calm you down in such situations despite only having been together for over a month. He knows how much of a sweet tooth you have and so he took you out to the nearby parked ice cream truck to grab ice cream in the hopes that it helped, and of course it did. While you both talked and walked through a park to make your way back, the both of you bump into Yoongi.

Of course, this had to happen to you. You truly cannot just breathe and live for even a goddamn second. You feel Jae’s arms around you tighten and you realize you’d been holding in a breath. Yoongi looks at the both of you in disbelief. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

“Oh, hey,” Yoongi finally says, breaking the tension.

“Hey, man. How’s it going?” you hear Jae respond even before you had the chance to.

“Nothing, just headed back from a meeting. What’re you guys up to?” Yoongi’s eyes are fixated on Jae’s, a whole lot of uncertainty and revulsion concealed behind his fake half-smile.

“That’s cool. Nothing much, since I was going to be gone for the weekend, I thought I’d spend my lunch breaks taking y/n out,” Jae replies as he looks at you, pulling you into him to kiss your forehead. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed by Yoongi, causing him to purse his lips.

“Looks like I might be interrupting something then, I should be on my way. It was nice seeing you guys around.” You can see the disapproval on his face, kind of odd considering you thought he’d be disappointed rather. Also, wasn’t he the one pushing you to explore this?

Later that week the group chat went off, Maya asking if everyone was up to go catch a movie at the theatre. Almost everyone agrees, everyone but Yoongi. “I have plans” was all he’d said. Sure, he had plans, he only ever hung out with you guys and his homeboys. So, if y’all made plans and the whole lot of them were at a conference, what plans is he talking about? You overthink it to the point that you’ve convinced yourself that Yoongi was actively trying to avoid you. You text him just to be sure. “Hey, I’m in the middle of something, I’ll text you later,” was all he’d said. Any rational thought that could help you reel back in was all out the window now. You hated fighting with Yoongi, even the pointless ones you both were having recently put you off. But this was a lot deeper, and you can’t help but feel a little lost. It’d never been this way between the both of you.

Your mood was off the rest of that day, your mind looking for any hint of reassurance from Yoongi himself. Maya and Leila seemed a little concerned, but you brush it off as work stress. Yoongi hadn’t told them yet and if he had, they were great actors for going about like they’re unaware.

After the movie ended, the three of you decided to head on over to a nearby restaurant in downtown. Once you’re in the car, you check your phone. Still no texts from Yoongi, however, there’s a couple from Jae that you choose to ignore. It’s driving you insane, because this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You shouldn’t want to ignore the guy you had stupid feelings for in exchange to receive any amount of attention from your best friend. You get lost in your thoughts, music playing in the background as you look out onto the streets. That’s when you see Jae parked at the curb of one of those elite, exclusive-only clubs. You check the date and time on your phone, the bachelor party is tomorrow. So, what was he doing out there tonight? Whatever, if it had to concern you, he would’ve said something about it. Honestly, you were even beginning to question if a relationship was worth all of this. You’d gotten everything wrong so far, lately however, you’ve come to realize you’re a literal walking red flag, ironic for someone dating a Jae.

————

The next few days go by in a lull of black and white. You’re struggling to put yourself together, the overthinking is now a constant state of living. You haven’t been interacting with anybody all that much, just keeping to yourself as much as possible. Honestly, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to see Yoongi at this point. And as if the world loved playing cruel jokes on you, you get a text from him asking if you could meet with him.

You don’t usually go over to Yoongi’s all that often seeing as you weren’t all that close to his roommates. It always seemed more logical for Yoongi to come over considering Maya and Leila were also friends with him. When you walk in, you didn’t expect to be met with Hoseok.

“He’s in the basement studio,” was all he says as you walk in. You weren’t all that close to them, sure, but you knew enough about them from Yoongi to know that this isn’t the way Hoseok usually interacts. You didn’t need to add to your overthinking so before further analyzing Hoseok’s attitude, you shuffle downstairs. You bring your hand up to knock at the door but stop abruptly when you hear Yoongi behind you.

“Just go in, I’ll be there in a minute,” he says as he heads towards his room.

You’ve always adored Yoongi’s passion for music, always wished you could be just as creative in some way. You walk across the room, looking at the multitude of instruments and gear. You’d like to know what each of them did and when they were required to be used, but you’d never asked. Not that you were uninterested, but this place was Yoongi’s safe haven and he dared to let anybody else in. The room was dimly lit with purple LED lights attempting to illuminate the room. You hated rooms that had hues that weren’t the standard yellow, but you got why he had them set to this colour; the purple helped you relax into this atmosphere. You pick up his matte black guitar and strike your nails across the strings, it all sounds the same to you. The door clicks shut.

“I learn something new about you every day. Attempting to play the guitar, I see,” Yoongi remarks. Startled, you almost drop the guitar. You didn’t want it to seem like you were snooping.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch it, I hope I didn’t mess anything up.”

“Don’t worry, I feel like this room is pretty y/n-proofed.” He laughs lightly.

Oh, how you’ve missed the sound of that. Who would’ve ever thought the sound a human being made could bring so much tranquility?

You turn to face him, “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say I fixed stuff up so I knew if you did touch anything, you didn’t wreck it.”

“Thank you?” You’re unsure whether to be thankful for his thoughtfulness or feel insulted.

There’s a long pause before Yoongi continues, “So, why didn’t you tell us?”

“Wait, do Maya and Leila know? You told them?”

“No, I haven’t. It’s not my place to. I guess in the same way it wasn’t my place to know either if it hadn’t been for that encounter at the park,” his voice was neutral, like he was simply making a statement, but it stung you.

“I didn’t mean to. I was going to tell you guys about us this week when Jae had more time on his hands. It wasn’t serious anyhow until then.” You must seem like you have all these excuses ready, but it was the game plan all along and you’re hoping Yoongi understands.

“And you didn’t care to bring it up that night when we kissed? Why, because it wasn’t serious enough then? Sure, seemed like it is when I saw you guys that day,” he snaps back.

“When you kissed me,” you correct. “It kind of has been that way for a while I guess, but that’s why I was going to tell you. But you said I didn’t have to bother about it since it was just a friendship kiss.”

Yoongi scoffs, “Of course, right. Because you’re the only person naive enough to believe that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Friends don’t just kiss, y/n, and definitely not like that.”

There aren’t enough words to describe the frustration you’re feeling right now. How is this your fault?

“Nevermi-”

Your phone lights up, cutting Yoongi off. Jae’s name is displayed across the screen. This really wasn’t the time; you decline it in an instant.

“Why would you do that? Wouldn’t want him thinking anything of the two of us now, would you?”

“He knows about the kiss, and he understood. He would understand this too, he isn’t one to jump to conclusions.” Your statement is strong, but Yoongi seems to get a kick out of it.

“Aaahh, of course he does. Why don’t we see for ourselves, shall we?”

Before you even had a moment to compute what Yoongi had just said, he’d made his way over, grabbing your phone and answering Jae’s call.

He’d called back? How you didn’t notice the phone go off is beyond you.

“Hey babe,” you hear Jae on the line.

“I don’t think you meant to call me your babe, but give me a second, I’ll hand the phone over to y/n.” Yoongi keeps his eyes trained on you, on how you squirm, clearly hating the situation you’ve found yourself in. Rather, the situation he’s put you in. The scene in front of him must be amusing for him to lean back onto the wall across from you, grinning.

“Hey, sorry. My phone was with Yoongi when you called and I guess he answered it, what’s up?” Another lame excuse, but whatever.

“You’re with him right now?” You can sense the discomfort in Jae’s voice, but it wasn’t like he’s expected you to stop seeing or hanging out with your best friend.

“Yeah, we’re in his studio, he wanted to show me something he was working on.”

“Oh, alright, well then call me back later.” The line goes mute.

“Fuck you! That was so unnecessary. Why’d you even do that?” You’re furious now. Any sense of wanting reassurance or attention from Yoongi has been replaced by utter irritation.

Yoongi makes his way back over to you, forcing you to back up against his desk.

“You didn’t have to hide what we’re actually doing from him, not like he wouldn’t understand,” his tone mocking.

You straighten, meeting his gaze. “What are you trying to do?”

Yoongi leans in, his arms caging you in just like he had that night. You’re starting to realize he likes having you like this, as if he’s caught you in a trap. His voice teasing again, but a lot firmer, probably because he wasn’t drinking like he had that night. What’s gotten into him? His eyes are trained on your lips as he lightly bites down on his own. You sigh, easing into him. He moves towards your neck, and you tilt your head back allowing him to leave a wet trail of kisses up to your jaw. His hands roam the sides of your body, and you involuntarily press your hips into his as you lean back on the table. He’s grabs at your sides, pulling you further into him while he brings himself up to kiss you. There was a moment of hesitation, but when he saw you make no move to stop him, he continued to place his lips onto yours, moving them a little rougher than before, but only for a moment before he detaches himself from you.

“That’s what I thought,” he whispers in your ear before taking a few steps back. “Are you really sure he’s okay with our friendship kiss?”

Anger. That’s all you felt in this instant, and you weren’t one to get angry so quickly.

“What the fuck was that?” you’re visibly furious but that didn’t stop Yoongi from doing exactly what he’d intended to; getting you worked up.

“Nothing, just another friendship kiss.” Yoongi smiles to himself.

“I cannot do this. That wasn’t a friendship kiss, and you know it,” you bite back.

“Oh, so you aren’t all that naive, after all then.”

“Stop it. What are you doing? What are you trying to prove? That you play games well? Then good for you, but don’t go making me one of your star players. I’m with Jae, you know that now. There’s literally no excuse unlike last time.” You feel the tears sting your eyes.

“There’s a game being played, alright. But don’t for a second go being too sure that I’m the one whose playing it.”

You grab your bag and rush past Yoongi, leaving to return to your place. What the fuck was he on?

If it was unclear to you before, it definitely wasn’t anymore. You weren’t just Yoongi’s best friend, there was a lot more to it. All his reactions, the way he spoke unconvincingly, the way he was hesitant, how he disliked every time the conversation of going out was brought up around you, they all made a little more sense now. And the way he kept trying to get into the most useless arguments with you, you wonder if that’s when things changed for him. Here you were brushing it all off as him trying to cope with his breakup but, all along it was about you. He’d gotten so good at hiding. He really should give poker a shot.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel torn in the slightest. Your silly crush on him from before, not so silly anymore. You guys fit like puzzle pieces no matter what, even now, it was so easy to give into him; to fit into him. And while you feel like you would’ve given anything for this, you can’t really. You’re with Jae now but of course this is when Yoongi decides he wants you. After all those months that turned years of flirting with Yoongi, all that playful teasing, calling each other names, all those conversations about liking the way things fit in your lives, and now he chooses to make it mean something.

You were right to be prepared for the world’s biggest fuck you because you were right. People like you aren’t the type to get things easily, to have fate or destiny or love, none of that bullshit, on your side. Once happiness was placed in your hands, it was never your choice to fight for it because even before you had the chance to, it was snatched right back. You thought maybe this time it’d be different if you tried, if you stopped seeing the world so pessimistically, then maybe it’d change. You were just another fool to believe in chance.

————

You spend the next two days hiding in your room, ignoring your very own existence. Maybe then it’d all just go away, these stupid feelings and these stupid thoughts. But laying on the bedroom floor listening to depressing music alone was only making it harder to escape reality. Your phone went off for what feels like the hundredth time, and it was Jae; you’d told him you had the flu. Tears sting your eyes as it hits you, just how pathetic you are. Is this what people call love? All that these dumb feelings have managed to achieve is complete and absolute chaos.

That was it, that was the last straw you’d had with optimism. You’re destined for misery, you should’ve just accepted that and the sooner you’d done so instead of being delirious, the better things would have turned out. You wouldn’t have to constantly worry about losing feelings for Jae after all this while, you wouldn’t have to lie to your best friends, you wouldn’t have to care for the way Yoongi felt, you wouldn’t have to feel the pain from coming so close to what you wanted but missing out on it simply because it wasn’t meant for you. You slowly see the pieces of the puzzle come apart, scattering around you. Maybe it didn’t quite fit quite right after all, maybe it only seemed like it fit fine just because it was the way you wanted it to, not how it was supposed to.

You get off the floor, dragging your feet across the floor to the bathroom. A shower was long overdue, and you hoped it brought you some, or any sense of clarity. And almost as if on cue, as you step out of the bathtub, you’re determined that you simply had a moment of relapse, tricking yourself into feeling a certain way towards Yoongi because of your silly little feelings for him. And so, you willed yourself to see it for how it really is; you weren’t going to let Yoongi get in the way, no. Why should you when the truth of the matter is that you had feelings for Jae. All that was left was to come clear to him and show him how you truly felt. If he understood before, he had to have known that you aren’t perfect, that you’re just trying to figure how this whole thing works.

Now it was finally time to pick up the pieces and rebuild the puzzle. You reach for your phone to send Jae a quick text when instead you read the one, he’d sent you a while ago. You ignored it, thinking it was him checking in on you, the sweetheart that he is. However, that didn’t seem to be what was necessarily on his mind in this instant.

“Hey, I’ve missed you. And I really think we should talk about this, about us. When I heard Yoongi answer your phone that day, I realized how much I wanted to be able to call you mine. I know we said no labels and I might’ve given you the impression that it was casual, but I’d like to take it further, if you’re willing,” Jae’s text read.

Seems a little hurried, but you assumed jealousy can tend to do that to a person. You didn’t like that he felt the need to stake his claim on you. But he might have just tried to be corny, knowing that despite you hating it, it always leaves you flustered. And sure enough, you were flustered so if that was the goal, he’d scored well.

“I was thinking the same, but I had something to tell you first. Are you free tonight, actually?” you reply.

His response comes only minutes later. “Sure, yeah. But are you feeling up for it?”

Shit. You’re supposed to be sick.

“Um, yeah. I just took a hot shower and I’m feeling a lot better,” you type.

The doorbell rings and fumble as you make your way over to the door, opening it for him. Without wasting much time, you grab his hand and bring him to your room. You guys have the place to yourselves, Maya and Leila having texted you that they had an event to attend to.

It was silent at first, but not the awkward kind. Jae finally speaks, revealing the bag that was in his hands.

“I brought chicken noodle soup for dinner; it’ll help you feel better.” You smile. How thoughtful.

“Oh, right. Thanks, but you didn’t have to. I told you I was feeling much better already.”

“We could order something else,” Jae suggests.

“Oh, no, no. It’s okay, I don’t mind the soup. I was just saying you didn’t have to bring it over just to talk.”

“Well, you see, I was kind of hoping we could have a lazy night in. Food and a good movie. I haven’t been allowed to come over before, so I thought I’d make the most of it,” Jae admits.

You let out a hesitant chuckle. “Sure, yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

Not much later, the both of you are munching down the last bit of the food while watching Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Jae puts his dishes aside and slowly moves in closer to you. You follow suite and put your dishes to the side as well, moving closer to bridge any gap that he might’ve left. You’re suddenly hyper aware of him laying right by you, on your bed. He snakes his arm over to wrap it around you, pulling you in to him. It takes you a minute to adjust and loosen up, shifting all your weight onto his chest. His breathing picks up and you feel it on the nape of your neck.

“Listen, about what I had to say, I-”

You’re cut off by Jae titling your chin to press his lips onto yours.

“We can talk tomorrow; all I know is that you feel the same way I do, and I want to know what that’s like.”

You try to retaliate, but it’s hard to do so with his tongue down your throat. Jae’s not half as good a kisser as Yoongi but with where he seems to be taking it, you’re sure that’s bound to change. You feel Jae move up, holding your gaze as he props himself up by his arms. Did he always have such nice muscles? “What” “a” “shame” you mutter between breaths. “What?” he asks, momentarily breaking away from the kiss. “Your arms shouldn’t keep them hidden under those suits,” you respond. Without giving Jae a moment to process what you’d just said, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into another kiss. You feel him grin against your lips before saying “For you babe, anything.” Your mind is in a daze as Jae begins to kiss down to your neck, stopping to suck on them, perhaps a little too harsh. You couldn’t care any less as long as it made you feel this way. You whimper, hands clutching the sheets as he sinks his teeth into the skin. “Fuck” you hear him breathe, as his hand begins to trace the hem of your shirt, his cold fingers attempting to undo your bra.

You weren’t sure you wanted to go there yet; it didn’t feel right. Not before revealing what’s been going on with, you for the past few days. You let go of the sheets as you wrap them around his tie, bringing him up to face you, once again, his lips only inches away. You arch your back as you meet his lips with your own, not sparing even a second to breathe. When Jae finally breaks contact to look down at you, all you manage to mutter is “Too much.” The prideful smirk is wiped of his face when his mind snaps back to reality and realization hits that you’re still not quite well enough. His expression morphs into that of concern as he feels like the both of you had taken it far enough for tonight given your condition.

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to work you up, you probably need to rest, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess I should rest up. But we still need to talk about-”

“Nah, it’s okay. We’ll talk in the morning; I should get going anyhow. Hadn’t realized how late it got.” This was what you’d wanted precisely but you can’t help but feel the slightest bit upset as you watch Jae fix himself up before heading out.

You’re giddy as ever, wondering why you even made things so complicated for yourself to begin with. If you’d just accepted sooner than later that you should be with Jae, then you wouldn’t let yourself be fooled by Yoongi for even a second. Something catches your eye as you get up to change; picking it up you realize, it’s Jae’s wallet. It must’ve fallen out when we were messing around. You were just going to leave it on the dresser since he’d be back in the morning anyhow, until you remembered that he had scheduled a meeting with someone important at that club him and his friends usually visit. He visits frequent enough that he’d still be let in regardless of whether he has his ID or not, but he must need it to pay for stuff.

With that thought, you find yourself draping the most appropriate attire you own for such a place. You fix your face and your hair, trying your best to look presentable and not like you’d just had the most intimate make out session of your life. You grab the car keys and leave, hoping to God that you knew the way to the place. In no later than twenty minutes, you’re pulling up by the curb outside the club and you already feel the regret.

Even before you had the chance to get out of the vehicle, you see her. He had his arms draped around her waist as she snuggled closer into his neck. Disgusting. You watch her lips come up to lightly kiss his neck leaving a crimson red stain. His hands come to grab her ass, pulling her further into him as he passes his cigarette to his coworker. The girl then whispers something into Jae’s ear, smiling to herself as she earns as he fondles her ass in reaction.

Tears sting at your eyes as you feel your whole worldview tipped upside down. How could this be? Why? Why me? Why does this always happen to me? How could he be doing this to me? Without thinking, you step out of the car but almost instantly lose your footing but keep from falling to the ground. You feel a pair of hands wrapped your arms and you nudge them away even before looking to see who they belonged to. You stand back up, clutching Jae’s stupid wallet in your hand as you watch them remain unfazed by the world around them. How bold must he be to stand out here in the open with another woman wrapped around him? You felt pathetic enough already, you didn’t need any more reason to believe it. He didn’t deserve to see you this way, like you were so weak and hopeless. You only have yourself to blame for your condition right now, for letting yourself believe that a boy you liked could just like you back. You didn’t need his pity when you were about to catch him in his web of lies. You wipe your tear-stained cheeks as you straighten your stance making your way over to him. You chuck the wallet at him, and it takes him a moment to even register who you were.

“Fuck you. I came here to drop this off thinking you’d need it.” Your eyes shift to the woman before you continue, “Some important meeting this is.” You scoff as you look him dead in the eye, grabbing the drink from the woman’s hands and spilling it all over him.

“Wait, y/n, no. It isn’t like that, just listen to me.” Jae blurts out.

“Ugh, you disgust me. At least give me some credit before you go on to keep making a fool out of me. What do you even have to say that will save you from this? ‘Oh, we’re just close like this’, yeah, right. I saw you from the car, don’t even try it. Do not mistake me for a fool.”

You see the sheer panic in Jae’s eyes before he tries to reach out for you.

“No, don’t fucking touch me when your hands were just all over her.” He’s a bit taken aback.

“Right, says the girl that kissed her best friend.”

You scoff. “Of course, you hold that against me now. And that’s what, just supposed to make all this okay? Gosh, after everything you just said too, really? Is that all this ever was to you, a game?”

“Come on, y/n, we’re getting you out of here.” The familiar voice, the soft touch, that’s when it triggers your memory. His words come rushing back; ‘There’s a game being played alright, but don’t for a second think I’m the one playing it.’ Your eyes go wide as you slowly turn to face the boy, Yoongi pulls you to him, restraining your arms like you were about to throw hands. Your mind’s weary and everything seems like a dazed dream.

You try to pull away from his grasp, “No, wait.

I have to give him a piece of my mind. Who the fuck does he think he is? What the fuck was he doing wasting my time and playing with my feelings?” You deadpan Jae, the frustration and anger clearly displayed on your face. You liked to think you were a calm and collected person but right now you didn’t give a fuck if you looked like the epitome of anger itself. You needed answers.

“He isn’t worth any more of your time, y/n,” Yoongi’s voice comes soft, but his face is set hard as he glares at the man in front of you.

“You’re a scum of a human being,” he says through gritted teeth, his voice now cold as ice. You look back over at Jae who seems half annoyed and half bored.

“All she ever did was try her best for you. She isn’t one to trust this much, to risk this much, but you knew that didn’t you? You just wanted to play your games and enjoy the kick that you got out of slowly tearing her down. How far were you going to take this?” Yoongi continues. You don’t know why he’s saying what he’s saying, or how he even knows anything at all, but you’re glad he’s there. You were just about ready to come apart but there he was, just in time to hold your pieces in place together for you. You loosen up against Yoongi when you feel him tense up behind you.

“You’re just upset that I took your girl from you. Be glad I didn’t fuck her, although, if you’d seen the way she was laid out for me on her-”

You can’t help but snicker when you see him shudder in response to Yoongi’s blow. His pretty little dimples, non-existent, just the way you’re beginning to like it. His split lips are coated in crimson, matching the scarf around your neck that’s hiding his mark. How very fitting, blood was a rather better accessory to match his dirty work.

Yoongi grabs your wrists, urging you to follow him to his car. You see the red drops trickle down his hand, the skin on his knuckles slightly cracked. You flinch thinking about how Yoongi even finished your work for you. It was like you both were made from the same puzzle board. Once in the car, neither of you say anything for the first little bit. You had no idea where he was driving to, and quite honestly, you didn’t care. You were here with Yoongi and that was all that mattered in this moment, it was all you needed to feel protected. You decide to break the silence when he’s forced to stop at a red light.

“How’d you know?” you finally manage to say. He sighs and you already know that you’re not prepared to hear anything he has to say.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t think I’d find you out tonight, I just happened to see you. And I couldn’t not do something about it anymore.”

“I didn’t mean about me, I meant about Jae. Although I’m one to act out, huh? I’m no different.”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi is visibly confused.

“He is right still. How am I any better when I kissed you in your studio?”

“Y/n, you’re not the same. Don’t for a second go thinking you’re anywhere compare me to a worthless guy like him.”

“But it’s true. I let my feelings get the better of me. I was supposed to like Jae and so I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“There isn’t some magic formula that you can just apply, y/n. You’re not supposed to like him. You’re allowed to like whomever you want. And you shouldn’t feel like you shouldn’t have kissed me because that’s on me. I initiated it, I said I wasn’t the one playing games, but I played some hand in it.”

“Right, I remember you saying someone was playing games. You meant him, right? You’d known even back then... how?”

He couldn’t keep up the calm and logical act, not any longer. With a defeated look, he begins to explain himself.

“That night that I told you I saw my ex?”

“Yeah...”

“I saw her with him. He looked familiar but not enough that I made anything of it. It was only when I ran into the both of you that I figured it out. That’s why I was concerned when I saw you with him. I didn’t know what to make of everything.”

You’re shocked, to say the least. After everything you put yourself through, it had to be some sort of a prank that the universe was playing on you.

“And you didn’t think to tell me? You knew all this while.”

“I need you to listen to me, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know everything, not then at least. It was all just a guess and you seemed like you believed in better things for the first time ever and I didn’t want to be the person to have to take that away from you.” Yoongi’s heart breaks for you and you see it in the way he looks at you, like you didn’t deserve any of this.

The rest of the drive is quiet, the sound of traffic filling in the void. Yoongi pulls up to a park, the playground at which you’d both used to play when you were kids. This was your guys’ place, you’d promised one another, but you’d never been here ever since you moved to the other part of town. It makes your heart warm, replacing all the resentment you had for the world. Yoongi always knew you, knew what pieces to look for next to attach to you.

You break the silence finally. “But you knew the day you called me over to your place...” you trail off, hoping he’d connect the rest of the pieces for you.

He sighs. “I went out a couple more nights here and there and saw him with different girls. I’m surprised he didn’t catch on, I thought he’d be smarter about it.”

You urge him to continue.

“I watched him with you, how he’d feel the slightest bit threatened by me and as a result tried to show me that you were his. I hated it, but I wasn’t sure what any of it meant. I didn’t know how far you guys had taken it and that’s why I asked you over to my place that day, so I knew where the both of you stood.”

“So, you knew then, and you still didn’t stop me? You let me get played knowing fully well what he was up to. Why?” Your voice trembles as you force a tear back. You didn’t care about Jae anymore, but hearing that Yoongi just stood back and let everything happen, that’s what crushed you.

“I’m sorry, I know I should’ve done something sooner. It’s just that I let myself be selfish with you and I know that’s no excuse. But I got sidetracked when I had you there with me.”

“Me? How were you being selfish with me?”

“I was supposed to confront you about Jae but instead, all I needed to know in that moment was how you felt about me. That’s why I kissed you, again. I hadn’t intended to, but I did anyway and I knew it wasn’t wrong of me to do so. Jae was a cheat either way and I felt no remorse if I was playing into that in any way. I wouldn’t have done that to you otherwise, had I not known.”

You nod lightly, taking in all the information. It’s slowly coming together, but it doesn’t make you feel any better.

“I didn’t want to just throw around accusations, I needed there to be proof. I didn’t want it to seem like I was doing it out of despise or jealousy. That’s why I was out tonight, I knew he had that meeting, and it was finally my chance to win. But when I saw you there, none of that mattered.” He’s rambling again and you can’t help but think it’s cute. Yoongi doesn’t get nervous very often, so when he does, despite the situation, your heart always beats differently for him.

You unlock the door and get out of the car, heading towards the swing set, Yoongi hesitantly following at your heels. You sit on the swing designated for you all those years ago while Yoongi does the same.

“And what did you make of it?” you ask.

“Of what?”

“Of the kiss,” you complete.

“I... I don’t know. I think I managed to convince myself in that moment that you really had feelings for me but I’m not so sure of that anymore. I guess I just forced myself to see what I wanted to,” he admits nervously.

“It’s funny though.”

“What is?” He’s looking at you like you’re almost about to rip his heart out of his chest.

“That you think you forced yourself to see that I liked you because I forced myself out of seeing that I liked you.”

“You what?”

“Yeah, I thought that if I had a chance at this whole dating thing that it would be foolish of me to toss it aside because of you, don’t you think?”

“Uhh... yeah, I guess so.”

Your eyes are fixated on him while his remain fixated on the sand beneath the both of you, as if he’s trying to count every grain.

“But you know what I actually think?”

“Does it matter?” His eyes are still focused on the ground as he now kicks some of the sand up into the air.

“If you want it to,” you pause waiting for any objection before proceeding further. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but I see people as puzzles. Some go together and some do not. I think it was foolish of me to trick myself into believing that you and I didn’t go together. Because when I kissed you, I felt it, I felt our puzzle pieces click into place with one another.”

You hated being this vulnerable more than anything, but you also knew that you needed to be this vulnerable. Your head’s a spinning mess, but you don’t need to use your head any further tonight. You let your instincts take a hold of the wheel as you kick off the swing to face Yoongi. His eyes are searching yours for any hint of confirmation, to assure him that he’d heard you correctly. All you can manage is a smile, a genuinely happy one. That was all it took for Yoongi to pull you down by your waist, seating you on his lap as his lips come crashing down on yours.

He doesn’t even give you a moment to adjust while his hands dig into the sides of your waist and he’s sucking on your lips like it’s the air he breathes. Your hand is entangled in his hair as you press yourself to him, deepening the kiss. His tongue presses against your parted lips, earning a pleasured moan from you. He continues to work his tongue against yours, before moving to your neck, gently sucking, and licking at your bare skin, leaving wet, sloppy trails. Your body works itself against his as you hopelessly rut against him, trying to chase your high.

You whine against him before slowing yourself to whisper in his ear. “I don’t think sex in a park would be ideal now, would it?” you suggest before moving to work your lips against the veins on his neck and tracing your hands down to palm him through his pants. Your actions clearly did not support the statement you’d just made.

Yoongi’s grip on your ass tightens as he pulls you against him. “We’ll make it work, just like the puzzle pieces.”

------

A/N: I got a little carried away with this one but I hope you guys like it! Also excuse any spelling or grammatical errors, I was basically up all night writing.

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