#suicide notes

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help. For 24/7 peer support and other resources, message KokoBot on Tumblr.

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) The Trevor Project (LGBTQ youth, ages 13-24) National Eating Disorders Association (online chat, text) RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find resources for your country.

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

#tumblr #counseling #prevention #self harm #psa #tumblr support #tumblr help #tumblr staff #depression

[justtogetthrough]

There’s no option for results or not taking a position.

Reblog for sample size.

Reblog so you can check the results if you’re curious.

If you have negative things to say about suicide or suicide notes kindly keep it to yourself. Mature discussions only.

Let’s talk about it.

#suicide #suicide notes #mental illness #actuallyborderline #borderline personality disorder #depression #anxiety #mental health #mentally ill #trauma #actuallyabused #ptsd #grief #jumblr #atheism #Christianity #suicide survivors #losing loved ones #family survivors #death and loss #grief and loss #afterlife #polls

[the-scp-list-of-ominous-threats]

TW: SUICIDE MENTION

So recently I got a suicide note in my inbox. An anon asked if I would contain them and that this was a suicide note. I won't block them but if I get another one I will.

Do not send me sucide notes. I am not equipped to handle them. I cannot emotionally deal with them. There are plenty of resources for this, for you to get help.

To the anon: I will not contain you, however, you need to get help if it was real and if it wasn't you need to figure out why you would do shit like this.

This isn't okay. If it's fake, that's potentially triggering someone random you don't even know. If it's real, then you should speak to a licensed professional.

This blog isn't a therapist. I am not licensed for this.

TL;DR anon sent a suicide letter and I request nobody does this for various reasons.

#threatsverse #not a threat #tw suicide #suicide #suicide tw #suicide note #suicide notes #suicide asks

[sanya-zpg]

I want to say, I am more comftable writing suicide notes than love letters because I'm scared of heartbreak, but that would be a lie.

You see, love letters are for the hopeful or the hopeless, and I am neither. I'm an evergreen tree used to seing the world around me fade colorless. I'm a ray of sunshine entering into the neighbourhood's abandoned house through a shattered window, visiting its ghosts.

I'm the smell of freshly grownded cumin and the light from street lamps reflected on puddles left behind by heavy rains. I'm neither hopeful nor hopeless, and that, I've learnt to make peace with.

So I will stay here, reading the suicide notes I once hoped to use but never did and live, because one day, love letters wont make my hands bleed. One day, I'll smile at all this.

#love #creative writing #spilled ink #life #hope #growth #suicide notes #love letters

[mylyy]

14 lines from Love Letters or suicide notes.

(by David "Doc" Luben)

One. Don't freak out .

Two. We both know this has been coming for a long time.

Three. I've been staying awake at night, wondering if I should tell you.

Four. I bought the kind of crackers you can eat, they are in the hall cupboard.

Five. Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I do not know what else to do next.

Six. I always imagine this would happen without warning and like suddenly on an ocean cliff side... But this is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right, would just mean waiting forever.

Seven. I've just been too afraid for too long.

Eight. I came home on Tuesday and found all of the chairs I owned stacked in a tower in the center of my kitchen... I don't know how long they have been like that, but it can only be me that did it... It's the kind of thing a ghost would do to prove to the living that he is still there... I am haunting my own apartment.

Nine. My grandmother was still alive when I was five years old and she asked me to check and see if the iron was hot enough yet. So I pressed my hand against it and it was Red and screaming for hours... Twenty-five years later and she would still sometimes apologize, in the middle of conversations, "I feel so bad about making you touch the iron" she'd say, as tough it had just happened... I cannot imagine how do we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't say until it was too late... But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it?.

Ten. I keep imagining my furniture in your apartment.

Eleven. I wonder how many likes this will get on Facebook.

Twelve. My dad always used to tell me the same joke, but I can't remember the punchline.

Thirteen. I was eight years old and it took three weeks, three eight-year-old-weeks, imagine! To gather everything that I would need to be batman. Rope. Boomerangs. A Mardi gras mask with the beads cut off. I couldn't find a cave near my house, so I buried them all in a bundle under the ivy... For years after, I tried to find that spot again.The ivy grew too fast. I searched in so many spots it seemed impossible that I had missed one, but I never found it.... How can something be there and then not be there?... How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?.

Fourteen. I never had the courage to buy bright green sheets. I wanted them but thought they were too brash, even with no one but me to see them. I bought a set yesterday and put them on the bed. I knew that you would like them.

#button poetry #slam poetry #love letters #spoken poetry #suicide notes #world poetry slam #doc luben #love #art #poetry

[quotation--marks]

We lay in the snow next to each other and made our angels. I was going to get up, but Martha took my hand and held it. She was wearing these red mittens they'd found for her, and I could feel her fingers gripping mine through my gloves. We just stayed like that, looking up at the sky while the snow came down. It kept falling, and for a little while it felt like we were flying through space and the snowflakes were stars rushing all around us.

Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

#suicide notes #michael thomas ford #2008 #2000s #21st century #american literature #queue pierce my soul

[bsdfanficsforthesoul]

This is a What If from my series 'An Evening In Spring'

The What If wouldn't have affected much, if anything at all. I just wanted to write a suicide note for Chuuya.

#bsd #bsd 109 #bsd season five #bsd s5 #bsd anime #suicide notes #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai x chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #dead chuuya #chuuya committed suicide #dead dazai #dazai died in Meursalut

[books-to-add-to-your-tbr]

Title: Suicide Notes

Author: Michael Thomas Ford

Series or standalone: series

Publication year: 2008

Genres: fiction, mental health, contemporary, LGBT+, psychology

Blurb: 15-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year's Day to find himself in the hospital. Make that the psychiatric ward. With the nutjobs. Clearly, this is all a huge mistake. Forget about the bandages on his wrists and the notes on his chart. Forget about his problems with his best friend Allie and her boyfriend Burke. Jeff's perfectly fine, perfectly normal, not like the other kids in the hospital with him. Now they've got problems. But a funny thing happens as his 45-day sentence drags on: the crazies start to seem less crazy.

#suicide notes #every star that falls #michael thomas ford #series #2008 #fiction #mental health #contemporary #lgbt #psychology

[broken-pieces-of-soul]

I’m not sure it it has been the right decision, hopefully it was not an unrepairable mistake

I’m willing to take the risk

#suicidal #suicidal thoughts #depressing #suicidal mind #broken #broken pieces of soul #suicide notes #suicide #broken soul in pieces #depressed #love #broken soul #soul #broken quote #depression #broken heart #death #depressing tumblr #unlove #broken human #risk #mistake #fix #unfixable

[pumpkinsplicelatte]

Omg tfw you're letting everyone you care about down but you're trying hard af to fake it bc you're terrified of rejection but you know eventually they'll find out bc even though you're trying it's not good enough and they'll hate you they'll hate you they'll hate you please I'm sorry I'm not good enough I'm always trying to be good enough why can't I ever be good enough haha #relatable

#tw depressing thoughts #depression #tw self destruction #tw self loathing #self worth #tw self destructive behavior #tw selfhate #depression speaks #pumpkinsplicerants #i tried #i always try #i'm sorry #suicide notes #I let you all down #im sorry im sorry #why am i like this

[o-n-e-e-y-e-p-e-t-e]

i tried kill myself before. it was bad, really bad. i couldn't find any word to describe that feeling. it was such a freak thing. i know it. i'm sorry mom. i wanna leave this fucking world. bye..

take a deep breath,

close your eyes,

and get ready to fly..

#suicide notes

[dailyjournalsblog]

"I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind was racing racing racing. Only I wasn’t really thinking about anything specific. It was just this stream of words and half thoughts, like there were a thousand different channels in my brain and someone was flipping through them one after the next. I kept thinking about nothing until I was sure that if I stayed in my room for another minute I really would go crazy. "

#suicide notes #Michael Thomas Ford #excerpts #poems and quotes #michael thomas ford

[technicallypalewombat]

Suicide note is mostly Jeff exhibiting peak Holden Caulfield behaviour .

#suicide notes #he even used the word phony at one point lol #jeff #Holden Caulfield

[book-blogandquotes]

One time Allie and I skipped school and went to see this foreign film called Los Diablos, where these villagers found a glowing blue ball and peeled pieces off of it to see what was inside. Only the ball was really radioactive, and they all died from the poison. I think that is what happens when you look too deep inside for the truth. The poison comes out, and you die, even though you have beautiful glowing pieces of blue truth in your fingers.

Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

#Michael Thomas Ford #Suicide Notes #Quote #Truth #Recently found an old notebook with book quotes

[quotation--marks]

He's this poet who drank twenty-one straight whiskeys at The White Horse Tavern in New York and then died on the spot from alcohol poisoning. I've always wanted to hear the bartender's side of the story. What was it like watching this guy drink himself out of here? How did it feel handing him number twenty-one and watching his face crumple up before he fell off the stool? And did he already have number twenty-two poured, waiting for that big fat tip, and then have to drink it himself after whoever came took the body away?

Michael Thomas Ford, Suicide Notes

#suicide notes #michael thomas ford #2008 #2000s #21st century #american literature #cw alcohol #cw death #queue pierce my soul

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy