#spite

[chaoticconstellation]

Crumbl Cookies Actual Chocolate Chip Recipe from a former employee who is no longer bound by their NDA:

to make approximately 35 cookies (or 140 minis!):

ingredients:

2 pounds of SALTED butter

1 pound of white sugar

1.5 pounds of brown sugar

8 whole eggs

4 pounds of flour

*half an ingredient pack* Crumbl has an ingredient packet that goes into their cookies to make sure that no one but corporate officially knows their recipes. however based on what is missing from a standard chocolate chip cookie recipe and what happens to the cookies if you forget the packet I have come up with this solution

5 tablespoons baking soda

5 tablespoons baking powder

2.75 pounds milk chocolate chips *** Crumbl originally used Ghirardelli but switched to their own brand in the summer of 2021.

Instructions:

preheat your oven to 290 degrees F or 143 C

soften your butters in your microwave, this step is crucial. you want them NOT at all melted, but soft enough to mold with your hands easily

put your butters and sugars into a large bowl, it’s easiest if this is a stand mixer, but if not an electric hand mixer is fine. you *may* attempt this by hand but i would recommend you don’t.

if you have levels choose your most medium level and beat your butter and sugar for 10 minutes. seriously. and it’s probably not done. scrape the sides, if there is any resistance it’s not done. the texture you’re going for is like passing your spatula through a cloud. you should feel no resistance, the mixture will be light, fluffy and if you feel it between your fingers it will be silky with *slight* sugary texture. imagine applying it to your face, it’s a daily cleanser not a weekly exfoliant.

when you’re pretty sure you got it to the right texture go for 1 more minute just to be safe.

now that’s over with turn your mixer down to 1, and add half of your eggs. let them mostly incorporate. all yolks should be broken and you should only see slight streaks of yellow. then add your second half of the eggs and look for the same consistency.

scrape the bottom of the bowl to make sure no yolks are hiding down there!

now add your flour all once! yup! mix it on low *just* until you see a dough start to form. There should still be plenty of unincorporated flour!!!

then add your chocolate chips.

mix until you have a smooth and consistent mixture.

crumbl cookies weighs each chocolate chip cookie at 5.5 ounces.

my best approximation is that you’ll be making about 35 cookies so go for that if you don’t have a scale.

the shape of the crumbl cookie can be achieved by making a large ball of dough then tearing off the top to leave a ripped top. those cracks and spikes are part of the signature. so you can skip this step if you just want a good cookie recipe.

*if you want to make the minis like Crumbl does for catering the weight is 1.3 ounces and the bake time is 10 minutes*

place on a parchment lined baking sheet leaving 2 inches between each cookie and the edges of the baking sheet. You can fit 9 on a standard cookie sheet.

bake your cookies for 16 minutes, rotating the pan 11 minutes in! (Crumbl has ovens the rotate while baking constantly so this will help even cooking times)

*important* i know the temptation to eat the cookies directly out of the oven is great. BUT. the cookies actually are not done baking fresh out of the oven! they bake outside of the oven in their own heat for 5 minutes while they cool! so wait at least 5 minutes or 10 if you have self control!

enjoy!!!

#crumbl cookies #chocolate chip cookie recipe #recipes #spite

[claypigeonpottery]

sold

another older piece. a commissioned copy of one of my mugs

#pottery #ceramics #ceramic art #underglaze painting #Mishima technique #Mishima pottery #pigeon #pigeon art #bird art #bird #spite #out of spite #glazeware

[jojo-the-bird]

I can’t bear to stand in a burning building and act like I’m enjoying the smell of burning wood as it consumes my lungs. I cannot, will not, love the crumbling walls around me and call it home.

#I'm tired of living in beat down apartment and calling it a day #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #lit #poets on tumblr #writing #literature #quote #poem #words #fire #burning #dark academia #spite #spiteful #leaving home #life #emotions #anger #typography

[catmannn]

Prompt #22 - Their Biggest Mistake

They won. They defeated the humans and got what They wanted.

The humans' biggest mistake was believing They would be peaceful.

The humans fought until the very end, leaving mere scraps of their once mighty civilisation to suffer in the defeat. A mercy if you asked Them. A mercy keeping the dregs alive.

That was Their biggest mistake - keeping humanity alive, for They forgot one thing. Human Spite.

"if we're going down were going kicking and screaming, and we'll drag you all the way down with is."

#writing prompt #dialogue prompt #prompt #writing ideas #idea #writing promts #promts #writing #humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #humans are spiteful #dont forget it #spite #humans are scary #actually pretty proud of this

[murdermitties]

Mistystar

#mistystar #mistyfoot #riverclan #warrior cats #wc #warriors designs #warrior cats designs #quote unquote a solid blue cat with white spotting #she's about as big as her dad #makes a very intimidating figure when she sits in shadows ive decided #miss live forever till it was plot convenient that she didnt #cant believe she went out like that but also i think its funny #if you ask me she could hold a grudge like no other thats why she lives so long #spite

[marisashorror]

100% understand that people are feeling defeated by the whole AI/art situation, but I'll be continuing to draw out of sheer, undiluted spite. Feeling my feelings, but not giving up like they want me to.

#art #shitty shitty ai news #will not be stopping me #spite

[snackugaki]

... my ass actually got like 6+ images deep before realizing i hadn't posted shit-- oops

my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10

tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

IDW spoilers below, teeechnically Mirage & Next Mutation spoilers too ig?

blah blah blabbering because that's one of the many things you can do on tumblr.com

bloopity bloopin, turtles all being traded on the black market as pets, medicine, or decor to be... "prepared". 'cept Jennika, keeping her IDW origin because it's badass and I like it. eco vigilantes freed them one fateful night, same night someone(s) stole some mutagen for a rival company to TGRI, boom collided in their getaway routes, away floated Venus just like in NM and some others who lalala may or may not be some mutanimals

playing mostly with coloring, Rise introducing markings is such a nice and refreshing change from the all sam green turtle, different bandana color turtles I grew up with. fanon taking that concept and applying it in conjunction with actual turtle colorings also scratches my visdev brain node just so

hm... still fiddling with their plastrons... Venus' and Jennika's are fine though

Leo

funky li'l ringed map turtle

can't see it but, he got them little ridgey-spikies on his shell

christ, I'm finding a way to attach Iris symbolism to him, either through markings or something else

Iris in hanakotoba is... basically all Leo; nobility, bravery, honor, courage, heavy samurai association

5'2"

Raph

McCord's or Amboina box turtle idk idk idk can't choose

stuck on coloring him with a scale mail feeling to match the box turtle photos I found

....I needa draw him beefier, he can stand to be beefier

5'6"

Donnie

literally just googled which turtles exhibit the highest INT, wood turle consistently listed plus some have funky geometrically patterned/shaped shells

tossing on how do the plastron coloring, really liking the dark spots on it

probably keep the lightened belly/inner limb coloring

...probably... lol idk

5'8"

Mikey

my perfect chonky boy, no notes except he (and his brothers) need plastron do-overs

and now i am stuck with the heart-on-his-sleeve marking

canon 2 my iteration it is done

he gets to be the slider this go round, if just 'cuz he's technically the first born (in terms of creating TMNT and its story and world)

let him have the fluttering, finger drumming on everything and everyone because he's bursting with "i love you" energy anyway

5'4"

Venus

"my pretty daughter" iykyk

sea turtle as per last couple iteration posts

cultivator instead of "shinobi"

"i aM ShiNObi"... guh, just, I dunno, the term "cultivator" wasn't really known back in '98 like that, but she had the medicine box, she worked to learn how to throw a fireball at Vam Mi, she was pleased at her progression when she defeated the counterspell from the staff of Bu Ki. that's cultivator shit right there.

she's still a pugilist more than a iron fan user

looks up to April like a big sister, speaks canto and hakka with her

cuz she's still a linguist scholar like in Next Mutation so duh she speak all the languages (to an extant, she has a lot of studying left to go after all)

the greenified hawksbill coloring is growing on me...

still needa futz more with the plum flower motif on her

also figure out her huadian situation or just scrap it idkidkidk

her bandana + 50% green coloring is also growing on me....

5'10"

Jennika

technically also ringed map turtle since it was Leo who gave her the blood transfusion

I like the idea of bringing her Blaschko's lines to the forefront post-mutation but just... it's a lot of stripes. and goddamnit I ain't even gonna go deep into much of anything with the comics I just... can't not world build rip me

6'0"

April

still so tickled at April being closer to the turtles' ages in these new reboots and fascinated how it's played out

...but mine is a clean 44 yo, so. (turtles in late 30s)

Laird originally conceived April as an asian woman in his notes, Eastman drew her as a biracial woman he was dating at the time (April Fisher) and... idk what to tell y'all, people are running around being mixed in this world all the time, Brooklyn got hella Jamaican/Chinese so there you go

can speak canto and hakka

April being a "weirdo" as I've seen mentioned in Rise can stay, I'm picking that, that's a great trait to her character, big fan of Poly Styrene, loved Rachel True in The Craft

where "weirdo" is just she's into alt subculture and being in New York... she got her hands everywhere in those scenes

She and Chu Hsi get to have the most shoujo fuckin' romance because it's cute

and she's still a living drawing which I'm changing around a bit being why she felt like a "weirdo" and leaned towards subcultures and the turtles, she did eventually begin to destabilize but Venus stabilized her by trapping her in a scroll so she could work on a solution. ...where she has a long, happy relationship with Chu Hsi in the painted world scroll because lol time dilation

saw somewhere on the hellsite that the tooth gap is passed around every iteration... so April gets to have it

5'7"

Irma

i'm not ashamed to say I just reupholstered Nadia from Russian Doll

87 Irma went through a lot so she can have some dry wit and humor and be fly as fuck, big hair, big glasses, and a big attitude

still besties with April

likes moths, they're just neat little guys with rabbit ears iykyk

there is a very specifc size of her hair I am battling to keep consistent the problem it never feels big enough

says "fuhgeddaboutit" and has yelled that she is, in fact, "walkin' here,"

... she might also have a little bit of Myrtle from AHS: Coven sprinkled in now that I'm thinking about it to sum her up

she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody for any random thing you could want to try to find

all the delis and bodegas know her

discusses plot lines from soap operas with Splinter on weekends, they get heated

5'5"

... god all this and I was just gonna have them play spades and play a round of pickup street ball in silly little comics

#if you know my timezone #and you see me posting this #stop snitching #what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament #leave me to my demon hours #i should probably try melatonin though... #cuz this shit ain't working #how am I fuckin' alive??? #spite #things tasting good #turtles #general nerd shit #and don't worry king #they still love your boys in the AU-verse #visdev is my enrichment activity #my dumb ass just happily knocking these out and not posting #cuz i was distracted by the euphoria of creation #hhh i needa push my shapes more #they can be crunchier

[germbee]

Spite!

#digital art #drawing #comic #comics #spite

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

#possum #spite #have a good day #don’t let anyone stop you #opposum #doodles #bad art #lousy drawings #doodle #positivity #self love #healing #recovery

[arrowmaker15]

(Tim and Duke sitting on the couch watching TV)

Tim: You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Duke: What?

Tim: If you dry off with a clean towel after you get out of the shower, how is the towel dirty?

Duke: Are you alright?

Tim: If you wait for the waiter, does that make you the waiter?

Duke: Do you... Need help?

Tim: Is orange named orange because Oranges are orange, or are Oranges named orange because orange is orange?

Duke:

Duke: Alfred! Tim is severely sleep deprived again!

#dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #duke thomas #tim drake #Tim doesn't learn #he hasn't slept #in awhile #Duke is just learning this #he doesn't like it #Tim gets fucking weird when he reaces the #“I'm running on coffee #spite #and the need to outshine Damian at every cost“ #stage of sleep deprivation

[applegameisprollytaken]

I have been putting off writing this for too long.

But, due to recent events... Might as well.

My mental health is in the shit. For the past few years, shit kept happening, and I pretended I was fine.

I got Tumblr less than a year ago, and planned to just post funny shit and get my dopamine hits by the few people nice enough to reblog my bullshit.

That kinda happened. But shit just got worse. Depression is a hell of a thing. So I got more dependent on what I already knew worked, but at this point, I just want to die. I always feel like a fuck-up that ruins everything I touch. But, you know what? I'm trying. But I want people to KNOW I'm trying. To know how hard I'm trying to keep it together. To know how hard it is to not let this affect everything else.

But, honestly, I just need someone to notice me. The things I made. Not my stolen jokes, not my glorified conversations. I want people to see what I spend so long on, and what I am so proud of.

I want people to see me for what I am, and what I'm trying to be.

I have tried therapy. I have tried everything you can think of.

None of it works.

I keep trying.

But none of this means I will stop. Wanna know why?

Because I know that there is always something trying to cause my downfall, and I'm spite fucking incarnate.

depression getting me to want to kill myself? its gonna have to shut down my liver like a REAL illness, because fuck you.

Anxiety got me thinking everyone is against me? I'LL JUST BE BETTER THAN THEM! Can't judge someone for being objectively better!

ADHD got me feeling like I can't do anything I usually love? Well, fuck you, I'm gonna do it anyways.

Life trying to throw another spanner in the works? I'm gonna keep on chugging, just to prove a FUCKIN POINT.

I AM SPITE INCARNATE. FUCK YOU ALL, IM GOING TO KEEP GOING.

GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN READY FOR IT, FUCKFACE.

#rant post #this is a major vent #vent tag #major vent #vent #rant #spite #depression #adhd #anxiety #FUCK YOU ALL #im gonna keep going #no matter how hard you hit me.

[chaoticconstellation]

Actual Crumbl Sugar Cookie Recipe from a former employee who is no longer bound by their NDA:

makes approximately 55 cookies (or 200 minis!):

ingredients:

For Cookie:

2 pounds SALTED butter

1.9 pounds white sugar

1.2 pounds powdered sugar

8 eggs

4 cups of canola oil

4 tsps of ALMOND EMULSION. can substitute for extract, but use half the amount. can also swap for other flavored extracts like vanilla!

6 pounds of flour

*half ingredient packet* Crumbl uses ingredient packets to make sure that only corporate knows the recipes, but based on what’s missing from a standard cookie recipe and what happens if you forget a packet these are the approximate substitutions

5 tablespoons baking soda

5 tablespoons baking powder

For the Frosting:

1/2 a pound of SALTED butter

6 cups of heavy whipping cream (40% milk fat)

7.5 pounds powdered sugar

2 teaspoons ALMOND EMULSION *same as before can be substituted with half amount of almond extract or vanilla if you choose*

any food coloring of your choice but Crumbl uses RED. you only need *drops*

baking directions:

preheat oven to 290 degrees F or 143 C

soften your butters in your microwave, this step is crucial. you want them NOT at all melted, but soft enough to mold with your hands easily

put your butters and sugars into a large bowl, it’s easiest if this is a stand mixer, but if not an electric hand mixer is fine. you *may* attempt this by hand but i would recommend you don’t.

if you have levels choose your most medium level and beat your butter and sugar for 10 minutes. seriously. and it’s probably not done. scrape the sides, if there is any resistance it’s not done. the texture you’re going for is like passing your spatula through a cloud. you should feel no resistance, the mixture will be light, fluffy and if you feel it between your fingers it will be silky with *slight* sugary texture. imagine applying it to your face, it’s a daily cleanser not a weekly exfoliant.

when you think you’re done put it on for another 2 minutes to be safe.

turn down to level one and add your eggs, oil and flavoring. mix until it creates a creamy soup mixture.

add all of your flour and baking soda and powder.

mix until a homogeneous dough forms.

Sugar cookies at Crumbl are weighed at 4 ounces and scooped using a portion scoop to get their standard shape, then flattened to about 3/4 of an inch thick.

or if you don’t have access to a scale this recipe makes approximately 55 cookies so do your best with that.

*if you want to make minis like Crumbl does for catering the weight is 1 ounce & the baking time is 8 minutes!*

place on a parchment lined baking sheet 2 inches apart from both the other cookies and the sides of the baking sheet. This will be about 9 cookies.

bake for 14 minutes flipping half way.

if you are planning to frost these cookies here are the mandatory next steps to ensure you don’t end up with soggy cookies.

let cookies cool on either baking sheet or on a cooling rack for 20 minutes.

put as many as you can in a single flat line onto a baking tray or something that will fit in your fridge and put in the fridge for another 20 minutes.

now they will be ready to frost with the frosting in the next steps of this recipe.

frosting directions:

soften butter like above

add butter, 2 cups of heavy cream, 2.5 pounds of powdered sugar, food dye, and flavoring to your mixer.

mix on low for one minute or until mostly combined

mix on medium until smooth

mix on high for 3 minutes

turn back to low and add the rest of the cream and powdered sugar.

mix on low until mostly combined

mix on medium until smooth

mix on high for 3 more minutes.

viola! you have Crumbl Sugar Frosting.

now to frost your cookies like they do at Crumbl….

fucking good luck! — I mean…

If enough people request it I’ll do a little video.

you want a smooth flat top with a little flat swirl.



#crumbl cookies #sugar cookies #sugar cookie recipe #recipes #spite #frosting #frosting recipe

[dreamsondashboard]

I owe my academic career to my rival. I’ve never spoken to her, not one time, but she is in every single one of my classes (suspicious) and sometimes the only way I can bring myself to study is the fact that I know that girlie is at least a week ahead of me on readings and that is unacceptable.

#study motivation #studyblr #polisci major #student life #study blog #studyspo #political science #student #study #study aesthetic #academic rivals #spite #rory gilmore #am i toxic? #probably #reading #live laugh love #but not really

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Catholics when someone suggests people are "individuals"

#how dare you not submit to our systemic abuse of authority?! #this is maybe too specific to land #but I can't believe the vitriol #spite #condescension #cold vicious hatred #it's like leftists complaining about capitalism #or the anarchists complaining about the state #catholics think individualism is responsible for every evil thing that has ever happened #which by their lights is probably accurate #the idea that individual conscience matters is maybe the greatest scandal such a totalizing institution could be asked to weather

[21ducky]

HELLLLO THEREEE

Hihihihiih I'm 21Ducky, you can just call me Duck or Ducky tho.

Trying my hand at an intro post at 12:16 in the morning, wish me luck lol

I am an enjoyer of MANY things INCLUUUUUDING; Transformers :D Undertale and its AUs Drawing (Ha, you fools, you thought I was only talking about Fandoms!) Doing a silly Flowey voice (Trust me, it's fun :D) Talking to my friendos @thatoneguyfromtheantivoid @intothevoid125 @nullneo @ecofmaster @lostfollower (and @kc-form-the-stars we don't interact often, but she's really cool :D) My friendos in general B] and a LOT of other things lol

I am a person 🤯 (wowzers, who knew?)

My pronouns are She/her, but you can use whatever :D I'm also a minor! (If the bored child thing wasn't a give away)

Anyway, you can ask me to draw things if you're willing to wait 80 years. You can also just ask me for headcanons or thoughts on shows, fandoms, etc. I'm just some bored child doing random things on the internet to satisfy their trash attention span lol Anywho, if you can't tell from this intro post, I'm a big ol' nerdy weirdo :D

Interact at your own risk >:]

(/j)

#It's me :DDD #Hihihihhihihuuhubfudjbuihufdvib #Welcome #I'm surviving purely off of iced tea #chaos #spite #and the blood of my enemies :D #Oh yeah and fandoms but that comes after the blood of my enemies ngl #Anywho #have fun and welcome to CHAOS >:D #I finally did an intro post holy snickers :0

[hobgobknowsbest]

#spite #goblincore #goblin vibes #goblin culture