A symbol of longevity, turtles survived extinction when the dinosaurs didn’t.
Some live up to 200 years - without appearing to age at all.
By never rushing life, and at the first sign of stress, head into the quiet comfort of their custom mobile homes.
“What the hell is ‘libido,’ and how am I lacking?”
“Libido is one’s sexual drive. If you have a high libido, you -”
“What?! I am not lacking in my sex drive!”
“Yeah, okay, Raph. Whatever you say.”
Donnie moved to put a hand on Raph’s shoulder.
“Raph, why are you listening to him? You know he’s just trying to get a reaction out of you like he always does. This isn’t new to you, so can’t you just... let it go?”
“Let it go?! He just questioned my sex drive. You – that's – how can I, of all people, let that shit go? He’s insulting my manhood!”
Raphael’s eyes were dark with anger as he glared at Michelangelo, stalking his prey. Except it was more like the prey was poking the lion to see how long it would take before he pounced.
“Well, if it would make you feel better, I could attest to your - definitely not-lacking in any way, shape, or form - sex drive.”
Three turtles turned toward Donnie each with their own differing reasons of intrigue. Even their leader who, before this point, was decidedly not getting involved in “childish and immature taunting that would not be of any benefit to his day.”
Well... it now seemed it would be beneficial... somehow.
“Yeah, actually. I would.” Raph perked up.
“Say what now?” Mikey’s former confidence wavered.
“Is it really a good idea to pump his ego to a bigger size than it already is?”
All three spoke at the same time, but Donnie was pretty adept to multitasking.
“Well, you seem to need some sort of convincing, Mikey. You had to know the only way you would get it would be from a believable source – because, let’s be honest, you can’t get that from the man himself who is clearly biased – and that believable source would obviously be his lover; would it not?”
“Wait, so you’re gonna convince me that Raph’s sex drive is not lacking how exactly? I mean, it’s not like you can show me, and I can’t imagine how you explain... - ”
Mikey was nervous, but he wasn’t about to back down from his earlier challenge
“Oh, I’m so curious. Please share with the group.”
If Raph was sitting down, he would be at the edge of his seat waiting for the story to begin like a two-year-old at bedtime.
“I know that I don’t want to know... but I just... need to.”
Leo was feeling conflicted.
“I have a feeling this isn’t going to be as interesting as you all were thinking it was going to be. I mean, I just planned on sharing estimated statistics with you to prove Raph isn’t lacking in his libido. In fact, I would argue that my estimations would point to the contrary.”
“Mmm, baby, I love it when you talk dirty.”
“That’s Donnie’s version of dirty talk?” Mikey asked incredulously. Seriously, sometimes these two as a couple made no sense.
“Actually, no. But I won’t get into that now. As I was saying, my experience points to him having an overactive libido. Certainly more active than Mikey’s.”
Mikey made a sound of indignation. Something like a (manly, of course) squeal followed by a sharp, “hey!”
Donnie could pretend all he wanted, but Raph knew he was just poking at his brother like Mikey had been before, but in a very different way and with a very different goal in mind.
He pulled Donnie into a searing kiss with a hand on his neck and the other dragging his hips against his own. This little display of affection lasted longer than the other turtles were comfortable with, resulting in their trying to escape.
Before they could get away, though, Donnie broke the kiss and cleared his throat before speaking up again and pulling slightly out of his brother’s hold.
“I could back up my previous statement with facts that I have observed over the past couple of months in reference to the amount of times you sneak out to go see Leatherhead, or how often he comes here. I could go over the numbers calculated over that same period of time Raph and I have spent in our bedroom, shower, roof, or any free space available, but I now seem to have other matters to attend to.”
Donnie grabbed Raph’s ass, dragged said ass up the stairs to their bedroom, and promptly shut the door.
Mikey and Leo stared after them and sat in silence momentarily, taking in the very much not needed information concerning their brothers’ sex lives.
Leo looked up with a look of sudden realization and horror.
Imagine if the turtles became known to the world and decided to be policemen
Leo comes home from a long day, stressful one too but the one thing he always looks forward to on these special days. Is a long pool session. Just relaxing in the waters.. He walked out with his swim trunks on in their new house, Glass walls instead of a fencing. He grabbed his towel. walked outside to see .. "MIKEY!!" he called.. "RAPHAEL.. SOMEBODY-' His voice screached a moment. "WHY IS THERE A HORSE in the pool!"
Mikey: coming out with my banana "That Susan." I came up to leo
Leo: "okay why is Susan in our pool?" I asked upset
Mikey: "She liikeess ittt' i spoke baby and dumb at once to come up to her "Dontchu baby~"
Leo: And then he realizes..... DAMNIT!! Mikey chose to be a horse Policemen didnt he!!
International Turtle and Tortoise Week, Day 4
(Days 1, 2, and 3)
Happy Earth Day! 🌱 Earth Day is a reminder that all life on our planet is connected. We have been focusing on turtles and tortoises this week, but helping us shells also means helping our planet. Turtles and tortoises depend on their habitats just as much as their habitats depend on them! For example, gopher tortoise burrows also provide much needed shelter to more than 300 other species, while plants in gopher tortoise habitats depend on gopher tortoises (and other critters) to help spread their seeds. 🌟🐢
Ultimately, the best way to help turtles and tortoises is taking action to help our planet stay healthy! Reduce, reuse, recycle, choose sustainable options, and be mindful of how your actions affect our planet: Every change helps! 🌎♻️🐢
Glad you liked it!!! I adored it and it made me laugh so hard during Leo’s moment
Hueso: I’m calling your father what’s his number?
Leo panicking before sayin fuk it: *gives him Raph’s number*
Seriously tho I think it would be absolutely fuckin hilarious if Leo had done this but Hueso DIDNT know Raph wasn’t the Dad and just takes a moment before looking back to Leo, back to Raph, back to Leo and saying “Do you take after your mother?”
Oh my God could you IMAGINE???
I- that would be too funny. It'd kill me on SIGHT bro.
But yes, thank you so much for sending me the fic! It was really good and I consumed it like frickin cotton candy. I loved it.
can i request the 2003 raph, don and mikey with a sweet, anti-social, shy girl? thank you cowabunga!!!
Raphael, Donatello & Michelangelo w/ a shy, anti-social girl ‘03
Sorry King Leo and all my Leo stans!
Summary; how each of these turtles would treat a shy s/o, their plan to approach a shy girl and how their relationship would function in relations to how shy she is.
Notes from me; hey everyone! I’m sorry for the slow posting, I’m super busy at the moment so it’s hard to work on this blog. I will try to post again soon! Enjoy dudes!
Raph would, in many ways, come to appreciate your humble nature.
In the beginning, his intense observation of your shy demeanour revolved around his curiosity. He became determined to better understand you like you were a mystery he needed to unravel.
His initial curiosity quickly became romantic the closer he got to you, the more he came to realize how thoughtful the person behind the quietness was.
Raph being a guy that struggles with emotional intelligence admires your ability to observe and understand the moods and vibes in the room.
Your ability to read people is something his brothers also admire in you, especially at the thought of how beneficial it would be for their hot-head brother to be able to experience first hand.
"Raph and y/n?"
"Never thought Raphie boy would be into such a sweet, shy girl!"
"Guess love really is unpredictable."
Although Raph enjoys a loud and rowdy time on a special occasion, he much more enjoys the peaceful moments with you. His hostility is something that would solely exist in his training if it wasn't for his insecurity and anxiety; by nature, he is calm and values quiet time.
Everything surrounding Raph has been chaotic since his childhood; he and his brothers clearly don’t lead normal lives - to have something so sweet and soothing is a luxury he can't lose.
Eventually, the thought of you becomes enough to bring him back down to his sanity, enough to help him sleep through the night and avoid unnecessary anger.
Due to your quietness, Raph becomes much more attentive; he is always sure to address you if something feels unusual.
“Hey baby, you seem off. There something you wanna tell with me?”
"No Raph, I'm okay."
Knowing very well you aren't being honest with him, he scoops you up in his arms and places you into his lap to talk.
Donatello would initially be intimidated by you. Despite being labelled the smart brother, he fumbles a bit with you, struggling to wrap his mind around something so beautiful being so shy and anti-social.
Being inexperienced with humans, he naturally subscribed to the belief that beauty equates to confidence. This belief drove him to believe that it wasn't shyness keeping you from talking to him - you were simply too good for him.
Of all people, Donnie knew better than to judge somebody by their appearance, yet with you, that proved to be more difficult.
But don't worry he comes around.
"Y/n, I had no idea that was you would be into such..."
"Dorky stuff? You can say it, Don, it's not a bad word."
You bond over common interests, nerdy interests he never imagined you would have, quickly after his fears of a pretty girl disliking him would fade.
Once Donnie can pass his insecurity barrier, your shyness evolves from intimidating to charming!
He finds our adorable shyness so charming that he develops an inability to ever say no to you - a deadly one.
"Don? Can I eat some of these cookies? You don't think Raph would mind, right?"
Oh no, those are Raph's cookies... He'll kill me.
"Of course you can, beautiful."
Raph was not happy...
Donatello would encourage you to branch out. Although a selfish part of him would love to suck up all of your free time, it's not the life he wants you to live. You're such a sweet girl and he knows you could make friends easily.
When you become buddies with his elder brother, Leonardo, he is over the moon - especially after hearing you open up with Leo and seek advice from him.
"She's good for you, Don. I really like her."
Initially, Donatello was scared that your shyness would keep you hidden from his family so witnessing you gain their love is super significant for him.
Mikey is drawn to you right away, finding your shyness to be endearing and absolutely adorable. From the moment he met you, he wanted nothing more than protect something so sweet from all the bitterness of the world.
He essentially views you as some modern-day princess or earth-dwelling angel.
Although he has a thing for shy girls, he's never really put thought into it and has no idea how to approach you. Being the loud goofball he is, he worries that you'll stray away from him or be discouraged by his bold personality.
He tones himself down just for you.
"You're Michelangelo, right?"
"Yeah! You can call me Mikey though if you want!"
In the beginning, he is determined to be as mellow and soft around you as possible - he does not want to mess up his chance with you!
This change in Mikey shocks his family. Master Splinter specifically, is touched by his son's compassion, yet he refuses to let it go on for too long. He takes the time to explain how important it is for Mikey to be himself with you, especially considering how much he seems to like you.
"Why would you do that, Mikey? You being goofy would never change how I look at you."
"I just wanted to be sure you'd like me."
"I really like you."
Looking back on how your relationship started now, both you and Mikey get a good laugh from it.
Although your shyness isn't as prominent when you're alone with Mikey, he still appreciates the little hints of your nervousness that pop up from time to time: occasional studders, emotional fluster when he flirts, hiding your face from him.
"You're so cute, angel cakes!"
He fanboys over your cuteness from time to time.
Michelangelo may be a chaotic goofball but his attentiveness towards you was never faked - he wants nothing more than to keep you safe and happy.
For Leo : Hi how would you react to finding someone that sees beyond you're looks and sees you as a guy with a good heart . Also has depression and takes meds for it ? I know I see you as a guy with a good heart
Hello, Miss Nikita. Thank you for your complement.
Well, I'd certainly be surprised. If I ever met someone who can see past how I look, I'd consider them a friend... possibly a lover, if I'm very interested. And whether they take medicine for depression or whatever other reason, it doesn't matter to me. That itself doesn't define a person for who they are. I hope I answered your question
Thank you again, Nikita. Please take care of yourself💙
i know the fight against controlled donnie in dagger is going to be dramatic and everything but all i can think about is everyone working together to bat beach balls at donnie while he screams in incoherent terror, please help
😭😭 OKAY BUT IN ALL HONESTY that would be the most effective way to beat him. If it werent for the fact Id like this story to be more dramatic than humorous, that is absolutely what they'd do. Rise Mikey just telling the 2012 turtles this and Rise Donnie is beaten within five minutes
I've been kinda reluctant about posting these because I know she's not the most likeable character and only appeared once, but I've gotten kinda attached to her and I think these turned out nice so uh, here-- Pink Aesthetic Taylor Martin edits.