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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 6 months

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Everybody Hurts

Chapter 9

Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader

Summary: You needed to escape, escape from your life, your messy divorce, and all the pitying looks. Looks you couldn't ignore when everyone in town had known you and Cam, had known your shame and failure. So, you took the first job you could get, teaching third grade in a town called Hawkins. Little did you know, you were walking right into another messy situation, a messy situation with big brown eyes and long dark waves. But he's resistant, at times unbearable and you start getting curious about the town's past, his past, especially when things don't start adding up.

18+ Only for eventual smut

Next chapter: 10/18

Word Count: 6.8K

Masterlist

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The sound of the horn honking outside had you grabbing your purse and racing outside. There was a pleasant buzz of excitement and anticipation running along your skin, little currents of delight lighting up every nerve ending. Not only did you have plans, not only were you getting out of the house with friends, but you also hadn’t been roller skating in a long time and you used to love it.

Almost every Saturday night in high school, you and your friends could be found at Roller Stop, the local rink in your hometown. It had been the most fun thing to do in Galena. Of course, it had also been one of the only things to do besides go to the library or get high in the woods. If you were really ballsy, you might try to sneak into the only bar in town but old Larry who owned the place knew everyone. Too small of a town to try to fool anyone that you were older than you were.

But you could remember with perfect clarity the thrill and pure joy of flying around the rink, Madonna or Wham! blaring loudly overhead. Drinking Coke and getting nachos covered in plastic cheese from the concession stands. You and your friends spinning in circles under the flashing neon lights, laughing. You and Cam holding hands, skating slowly together when your song, the song Cam had decided was yours anyway, ‘Can’t Fight This Feeling’ came on. He’d told you it was perfect because that described him the moment you’d walked in the door of the cafeteria. You had come into his life and he couldn’t fight how he felt from the moment he saw you. What a crock of garbage that turned out to be.

No. You shut that particular trip down memory lane behind a door, locked it, and tossed the key over your shoulder. No more Cam memories. You weren't going there. Mistakes had been made. Lessons had been learned. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t dwell on what you had no control over anymore. You would use the opportunity to better yourself, to become smarter about your life choices. Now it was time for new friendships and experiences, a whole world of possibilities, a chance to take those lessons and start over. You would make the most of any opportunity this second chapter of your life decided to bring along.

You waved to Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin as you approached the car. You had decided comfort was the way to go for skating so you’d worn jeans, your yellow Kiss tee, and a black jean jacket. Layers were also the way to go right now because winter was not quite ready to let go, still bringing a biting chill to the evening air. But you figured if you got too warm skating, you could always lose the jacket. Better safe than sorry, especially when you were almost always cold.

You slid in next to Robin who offered you a great big smile as if she was just thrilled that you were tagging along as everyone said their hellos. Max had not been kidding when she’d told you that her friends would be welcoming. You had never met a warmer, more friendly group of people in your life. Most people were wary of outsiders, hesitant to let someone new in once the group had been formed. But, besides the secrets they were very clearly keeping, they were more than happy to fold you right into their group even though they’d all known each other for at least a decade.

And while you were willing to set it to the side for tonight, those secrets had not been forgotten. They continued to tap annoyingly at your brain, demanding answers. You hadn’t given up on that particular task. You were determined to find the truth, to get to the bottom of those accusations, those haunted looks you saw passed over their eyes when the past was mentioned. You were like a bloodhound and now that you had been given the scent, you wouldn’t rest until you found the source. But for tonight, you were going to let it sit in the back of your mind. Tonight you were just going to have fun with everyone.

“Any more issues at school? Any more shocking revelations delivered from tiny people?” Nancy asked carefully, her tone and the way her eyes darted over to Jonathan quickly, conveying far more than her words. She was checking in, making sure that you weren't still digging for answers that none of them wanted you to find. It only made you even more determined to figure out what they were so desperate to hide.

“No. Today was fine,” you answered simply, not wanting to raise Nancy’s suspicions, offering her a small smile as Nancy turned to look at you. “I have a meeting with Lance and Charlie’s parents next week to try to get to the bottom of this bullying issue. I have to say, I am not looking forward to it. Mr. Johnson is not the most pleasant man.”

“No, he’s definitely not,” Robin muttered next to you, fingers pulling at the frayed material of her jeans on her thigh. “He was one of the biggest bullies in school. He was Jason’s little guard dog. His favorite thing was throwing people into lockers or giving freshman swirlies in the bathroom. He lorded his status as one of King Jason’s court over everyone. I am guessing he hasn’t changed much.”

“Doesn’t seem like he has. According to Lance, he treats Charlie the way he does because his dad tells him that’s what he should do,” you spat with disgust. “I can’t imagine teaching my child to be cruel. Who would want their kid to be a bully?”

“Another bully,” Jonthan snorted. “Andy prides himself on his cruelty. I am sure he’s gloating that his son is a chip off the old nasty block.”

“Yeah. Rumor around town is that his wife has been seen sporting a black eye once or twice,” Nancy added with a grimace. “And she’s had a couple unexplained emergency room visits. She won’t say anything so no one’s ever been able to confirm it but the whole town knows what’s happening.”

“Jesus,” you breathed, even more anxious about this meeting now.

If everything they were saying was true, this guy wasn’t going to get the message no matter what you said. He might even get hostile. That thought instantly formed a knot within you, twisting painfully, fear for yourself or for Charlie’s parents. You might have to ask Principal Washington to sit in just to make sure everybody stayed calm, the conversation didn’t escalate, and to have an extra pair of eyes on the situation.

Worse than that, it made you wonder about Lance. Could his cruelty be coming from a place of anger, anger that his father caused by bullying him? You’d never noticed any marks on him before but, in your experience, that didn’t always mean anything. Abusers knew how to hit where it didn’t leave marks. You were going to need to be more observant with Lance. Sometimes it might show itself in a wince while they were climbing on the playground equipment or a cringe while they were changing into their gym shoes. That bastard. It took a real asshole to feel big about beating on people who couldn’t possibly defend themselves.

Jonathan pulled into the rink, a sound of surprise emitting from him as he parked the car, “I’ll be damned. I never thought I’d see the day. Who convinced Munson to skate?”

You glanced over eagerly, your head turning so fast that a sharp jolt shot up the back of your neck to the base of your head. You spotted the van, Eddie casually leaning against it. He was dressed in black jeans and a dark gray tee that was fitted enough for you to make out the lean lines of his chest and shoulders. One Reebok was propped over the other, those dark waves concealing his face as he brought a cigarette to his lips. His big chunky rings caught the sun, shimmering in the light. A pleasant buzz swirled through your head and straight down your body at the mere sight of him, knowing he’d actually come and just because you’d asked. Until this moment, you weren't sure if he’d really show.

“I did,” you admitted softly.

All three heads shot toward you, shock written all over their faces. You shrank back a bit, feeling as if you’d done something wrong by inviting him. You’d just thought it was odd, all his friends going to do something, and him not. If it was just because he couldn’t skate, you were more than happy to help him so he could be included. At least, that was the reason you would stick with if anyone asked you.

“Sorry. Should I…not have asked him?” you asked hesitantly. “I just thought he’d be missing out on the fun.”

“No, it’s fine. Really,” Nancy assured, shaking her head, “but he’s never gone roller skating with us before. He hates skating. I guess he had a bad spill when he was a kid and he never got on them again. We’ve stopped inviting him because he swore the Earth would stop turning before he would ever strap on a pair of roller skates. I’m just surprised you could convince him.”

“Yeah…how did you do it exactly?” Robin queried.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I didn’t do anything special. I mean, I just asked him to come? He said he wouldn’t come because he couldn’t skate so I told him I would help him.”

Nancy’s eyebrows almost met her hairline, her mouth forming a little ‘o’ before curving amusedly, “You just asked him and he agreed. Ahh…I see.”

“You see what?” you demanded.

“Nothing,” Nancy exclaimed loudly, shaking her head. “Absolutely nothing.” Her and Robin shared a look that had you turning bright red. “Come on! Let’s go skate!”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see Munson trying to Bambi around on some roller skates,” Jonathan guffawed.

As the car doors slammed shut, Eddie looked up from the pavement. His eyes met yours, his mouth pursed a bit, the sides curving just slightly as if he were happy to see you but you didn’t let yourself get your hopes up. There was a good chance you were just seeing what you wanted to see. You seemed to do that a lot where he was concerned. The man was just so damn hard to read. Still, it didn’t stop those butterflies from breaking loose, fluttering around, leaving you grasping for the breath you suddenly couldn’t seem to find.

Your face paled as you really looked him over, your eyes tracking over every inch of him. His neck was not the only thing that was scarred. Your eyes moved down his arms, taking in the pale jagged marks that covered his biceps just peeking out from under the gray cotton. Another was on his forearm. There was even one on his wrist that you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed before. Those raccoons had been seriously vicious. You blinked, looking back up at him, hoping he hadn’t noticed the way you’d been examining him.

“You came,” you commented as you approached him.

Eddie pushed off the van, his shoulder lifting, “I told you I would, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but I still wasn’t sure if you would actually show up,” you admitted, teeth worrying over your lip, your eyes looking just past him. “I thought maybe you were just placating me so I’d shut up.”

“Sweetheart, I might be a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. If I say I will do something, I’m going to do it,” he replied. “Just remember any medical bills are on you.”

You laughed, “I know, I know. No worries.” Sam brought her eyes up to meet his, swallowing hard. “I’ve got you.”

The sound of a car horn honking over and over again obnoxiously had you all turning to see Steve’s Jeep Cherokee flying into the lot. Dustin was hanging out of the window on one side, Max the other, waving and laughing as he slid into a spot right next to Jonathan. The doors opened and far more people than could have possibly fit comfortably came tumbling out.

“Shouldn’t a lawman be more careful?” you mused, folding your arms, one eyebrow raising in question. “There is no way all of those people were wearing seatbelts, Officer Harrington.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Yeah, well, if someone else would be the taxi driver for all these kids sometimes then it wouldn’t be an issue. Somehow, it always winds up being me who has to do the babysitting.”

“Babysitting?” Max snickered, shaking her head. “I’m twenty-four, idiot. Well past the age of requiring a babysitter anymore.”

“Also well past the age of needing someone else to tote you around. You all have cars and licenses now. Why couldn’t one of you chuckleheads drive?” demanded Steve.

“Because now I can partake in a few adult beverages since you’re my DD,” Dustin explained, his arm coming around Steve who instantly shrugged him off. “Damn. Stop being such a grouch. You always act like you’re annoyed to be saddled with us but we all know you love it, Dad.”

“Hey,” he warned, pointing a finger in Dustin’s face. “I told you to stop calling me that. I am not your dad. I’m not any of your dads. I was like six when you were all born.”

“Daddy, can I get a milkshake, please?” teased Max, sliding up next to him, laying her head against his arm.

“Ohh! And can I get a slurpee?” El joined in, slipping up on his other side.

“And nachos!” added Lucas, his hands in prayer in front of him as he batted his eyelashes. “We’ve all been good. Can’t we have a treat?”

You watched as Steve rolled his eyes again but the smile on his face gave him away. He clearly had a soft spot for them whether he wanted to admit it or not. Shaking his head, he waved his arm and began walking with purpose toward the skating rink.

“Come on. Let’s go skate already. And you all have jobs and adult money now. Buy your own damn snacks.”

___________________________________________________________

You laced up your skates as Eddie examined his own, turning them side to side, with a look of utter disdain and suspicion. You had to tuck your lips in to hide your amusement, not understanding why he’d let you talk him into this if the very idea caused him to make that face, a face that looked like someone had just stolen his parking spot at the grocery store.

“You know, you don’t have to do this just because I asked you to,” you told him. “I won’t be mad if you bail. Your friends couldn’t believe you agreed to this.”

“I can’t believe I agreed to this. I should know better,” Eddie huffed as he laced up his skates. “It’s like when my Uncle Wayne always told me not to play with fire but I thought he was just being a responsible parent. I lit one of his road flares and burned the shit out of my hand. I had to have this huge wrap on it for weeks until the burns healed and it hurt like hell. I couldn’t play my guitar for weeks. He said it was just natural consequences. I can hear him right now, ‘Kid, what the hell do you think you’re doing trying to balance on roller skates? It took you two summers to learn how to ride a damn bike.’ I’m telling you, this might look like fun to you but it is going to end in a broken bone or a concussion.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, it’s just roller skating. People have been doing it for years. I haven’t heard of any horrific deaths or terrible traumas that required an airlift at the roller rink. I think you’re going to survive.” You stood up and offered him your hands. “Come on. I won’t let you fall. I promise.”

“Oh, you’re going to protect me, are you?” he asked, the little smirk that appeared on his face, those plush lips twisting up on the side, his eyes all soft and gooey like melty chocolate, caused a not unpleasant twinge in your center.

“Yep. I’m your knight in shining armor that is going to keep you on your feet. I promise I won’t let you fall. Now come on, you grouchy metalhead. Let’s get you up on those skates.”

Eddie groaned but he took your hands. The minute he rose up, the skates slid backwards and then as he overcorrected they slid forward on him, his body rocking. His eyes grew as wide as saucers but you kept a tight grip on his hands until he steadied himself. Jesus, if he fell the minute he stood up, he’d never let you hear the end of it.

“Jesus H. Christ,” he muttered, the muscles around his eyes and mouth tense, his eyes losing the softness she’d enjoyed just a moment ago. “This is such a bad fucking idea.”

“You’ve got this,” you insisted, slowly rolling backward toward the rink as he hesitantly stepped forward awkwardly, squeezing your hands so hard you winced, but you stayed quiet about it. “Stop walking. Skate, Eddie. Find your balance. Lean forward slightly and keep your weight on your toes and the balls of your feet.”

“What the hell are the balls of my feet? Last I checked, I only had two balls and they are definitely not in my damn feet.”

“Jesus, are you always this dramatic?”

“Yes!” he huffed. “Especially when it could involve breaking an arm. You know I need those, right? Kind of hard to work on cars or play guitar without them. My very livelihood depends on me being able to have the use of my arms.”

“Alright. The balls of your feet are right under your toes. So just try to keep your weight toward the front of your foot,” you explained patiently as you made it out onto the rink finally. “Then extend your leg behind you while pushing off the ground with your other leg. Then you just switch. It’s really just that simple. Just keep moving and keep your balance.”

“Maybe it’s simple for you,” mumbled Eddie, his eyes focused on his feet.

You stifled back a laugh when his tongue slid between his lips as if he needed it to focus. He looked like a kindergartener who was determined to learn how to tie his shoes. But slowly he began to skate. He wasn’t moving very fast but he was moving and that was progress. It was more than you’d expected when he started whining.

“There you go,” you praised loudly, grinning from ear to ear. “Look at you! You’re doing it!”

Eddie’s eyebrows lifted as he raised his head to stare at you, “Did you just use your teacher voice on me? You know I’m not one of your third graders, right?”

You cringed, squeezing your eyes shut tight for a moment. Shit. Cam always hated when you did that. He’d yell at you that he wasn’t a child and he didn’t appreciate being spoken to like one. To be fair, if he didn’t act like a giant eight year old most of the time then maybe you wouldn’t use the voice as often as you did.

“Sorry, force of habit,” you apologized. “I didn’t mean anything by it, seriously. It’s a really bad habit that I need to break. My husb…” You closed your eyes, exhaling slowly. “I mean, my ex-husband hated it. Still getting used to that word. Anyway, he went off on me for it all the time. You’d think I’d have learned to not do it by now.”

Eddie’s eyes softened again, sweet chocolate melting between her fingers on a hot summer day, all gooey and delicious, slipping into all the crevices within you. And all of a sudden, you knew exactly what Millie meant when she said everyone needed more sweet in their life because it was right in front of you. His lips pouted out for a moment and then he shrugged slightly, that beautiful smile that was like a bright ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds appearing once again.

“No big deal. I just thought it was funny. I mean, I have the maturity of a third grader, if you believe my Uncle or any of these idiots here tonight. So, I probably could use a dose of teacher voice sometimes. I know the sound of it quite well. Hell, I probably should have listened to it all the times it was used on me in school. Maybe I wouldn’t have had to repeat my senior year twice.”

“You repeated twice?”

Eddie’s cheeks flushed, “Yeah. Didn’t get it the first time or even the second time. Didn’t graduate until I was twenty and even then, they only gave me my diploma because they felt guilty for accusing me of being a murderer. I think they were also more than ready to be done with me. Trust me, Hawkins High didn’t want another year of Eddie the Freak Munson. I was fucking twenty before I graduated. Absolutely pathetic.” He sighed, pressing his lips together, his eyes focused on his feet as he kept slowly moving forward as you skated backward. “School was always a problem for me. I just wasn’t smart enough to get it.”

“I don’t believe that,” you argued, shaking your head. “I’m guessing your teachers just didn’t take the time to figure out how you learn best or what you needed.”

“Isn’t that just another way of saying I’m dumb? I can’t learn like normal people.”

“No,” you stated. “That’s not what it says. There is no such thing as normal, Eddie. All of our brains work differently. I have kids who need all kinds of different things in order to learn. One student needs to stand while they work in order to focus because their feet need to be moving. Another student can’t handle the fluorescent lights on because of the noise they make so I use lamps instead. I also incorporate a lot of movement breaks so kids can get up and move around. Back when we were in school everyone was expected to sit in their seat all day and focus and that’s not sustainable even for an adult.”

“Huh…I never thought about it like that. But yeah, I was always in trouble for getting out of my seat or talking when I shouldn’t be, not getting my work done. But it was so hard to focus for that long. I would have loved the chance to get up and move. You know, I bet you’re a pretty damn good teacher,” Eddie commented with a soft grin, his eyes glancing up at yours for just a moment before focusing on his skates again.

You returned his smile, “I hope I am. I try to be anyway. You want to try to go a little faster?”

“Uh…no, nope, absolutely not,” he stated adamantly. “I feel pretty okay with the speed I am going right now. Call me the tortoise. Slow and steady and all that shit. I go any faster and I will end up on my ass and honestly, I do not need Henderson or Harrington giving me shit for the rest of my life because I fell down at the roller rink while a pretty girl was holding my hands.”

Dizziness threatened to send you to the ground as you registered his words. You held onto his hands tightly, knowing if you went down then you were taking him with you. It felt like all the butterflies in the world were suddenly in your stomach trying to break free. Your face heated, your heart skipped, and you desperately tried to pull in some much needed air. Oxygen suddenly felt in short supply.

“You think I’m pretty?” you asked quietly.

“Oh…uh…” Eddie’s face went fire-engine red and he became very interested in his feet once again. Was he embarrassed or was he wishing he never would have said it? “Sorry. I mean…no, I’m not sorry. I mean, you are pretty. I’m not saying you’re not pretty. I just maybe shouldn’t have said it? I mean…shit.”

He pulled his hands out of yours, bringing them to his forehead in frustration and at that moment his feet slid out from under him. It was like watching a horrifying cartoon. You saw what was happening but could do nothing to stop it. His arms flailed wildly in slow motion as his skates went back and forth. His torso folded forward and back as he tried desperately to stay upright. You reached for him just as his feet slid out from under him, he went airborne and landed right on his back.

“Oh my god!” you shrieked, dropping down next to him. “Eddie…hey, are you okay?”

“Son of a bitch!” he growled, wincing.

“I’m so sorry. I told you I wouldn’t let you fall and then…”

“It’s fine!” Eddie snapped. You reached to take his hands but he waved you off. “I’m fine!” He sat up slowly, groaning, his hand coming to the back of his head.

“Are you sure? Is your head okay? Here. Let me feel and see if there’s a bump or anything.”

As you reached for him, he grabbed your hand and shoved it away. You fell back onto your ass, confused and hurt as to his sudden change of mood. Yeah, he’d fallen and you told him you wouldn’t let him but he’d been the one to let go of your hand and you were just trying to help, to make sure he wasn’t concussed or something.

Eddie rolled over onto his knees, placing his hands flat on the wooden floor of the rink. He tried to push himself up but the skates made it challenging, especially for someone who didn’t have much experience with them. He tried again, spreading his legs wide and they slid out, him coming down on his ass again. You didn’t move, scared he would just yell at you again. Eddie let out a roar of frustration just as Dustin and Jonathan came skating over.

“Great…just fucking great,” he huffed, his eyes rolling skyward.

“Hey man, you alright?” asked Jonathan.

“You need some help there, buddy?” Dustin offered, holding his hand out.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Eddie grumbled, slapping his friend’s hand away. “I’m fine!”

“It doesn’t look like you’re fine,” Dustin countered, hands coming to rest on his hips as he looked down at his friend who was acting like a giant baby. “It looks like you’re stuck on the floor of the rink and if you don’t want to get your fingers run over by somebody then stop being so stubborn and take my damn hand.”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed, that muscle in his jaw clenching, that tendon in his neck bulging, highlighting the pale scar that laid there, but he took the offered hands of Dustin and Jonathan and let them help him to his feet. It was awkward, both guys pulling as Eddie struggled on wheels. Once he was back up, he grabbed onto the wall, holding it as he walked, hand over hand, to get off the roller rink and back on the carpet.

You followed, guilt coursing through you at the thought that you’d been the one to ruin his night once again. You followed him to the table where he sat down, immediately pulling off his skates, throwing them down angrily so they bounced off the garish carpet. Disappointment flooded you, knowing the fun had obviously been ruined for him and in turn you as well. There was no way you were going to get him back out there now. Just when you’d thought you’d turned a corner, you were right back where you started, cold hard eyes glaring at you just like that first night.

“Eddie, are you sure you’re okay?” you inquired carefully.

“Jesus, are you deaf or something? I told you I’m fine. I’m just done rolling around on these fucking death traps on wheels, okay?”

“Okay. Do you want me to sit with you?” you offered, hoping to remedy whatever the hell had just caused angry asshole Eddie to return. “I could get us some snacks…”

“Jesus Fuck! Do you ever let up? I don’t need your pity just because I’m a klutz!” he growled.

“Hey!” You turned to see Steve, standing at the wall, his stomach pressing over the top, skates in the air behind him. He waved you over with a wide smile. “Come on! Don’t tell me you’re quitting on us too! I heard you’re a pretty damn good skater. Stop giving lessons to Munson and come show me. You’re off the clock, you know? Teacher time is over.”

“I…” you paused, looking down at Eddie, not wanting to leave him to sit and sulk all alone when you’d been the one that convinced him to come. But he was being such an asshole. Yeah, he’d fallen but it had been his own damn fault and he was being nasty to you like you’d shoved him on his ass or something.

“Why are you looking at me, Prom Queen?” he snorted. “Your King is beckoning. Go do your thing. I already told you. I’m fine. I don’t need your goddamn pity, okay?”

And there it was. Just like that you were Prom Queen again. Not sweetheart or princess or even just your name. Here you were again, your head spinning, your neck aching from the whiplash you kept getting from his insane mood swings. Just when you thought you were having a good time together, he suddenly became all surly again. He told you that you were pretty and then he told you to leave him alone. He came because you asked and then he acted like you’d forced him to come. He was sweet and soft and then suddenly nasty and hard.

What in the hell were you doing? Why were you trying so hard to get this guy to like you when he clearly didn’t? And why the hell did you care so damn much what he thought of you anyway? Sure, he was gorgeous and yeah, there was something about him that had you thinking about him at the most inopportune of times, but that didn’t detract from the fact that he was a giant dickhead. What did it say about you if you just kept trying the same thing to only get the same result? You had sworn you wouldn’t let yourself make dumb decisions anymore and yet, here you were, possibly making the dumbest decision of your entire life.

“You know what, Eddie? I really don’t need this shit. I am so sick of your Jekkyl and Hyde routine,” you snapped, all the anger that had been building up from the moment you met finally exploding from your body. “I have not done a goddamn thing to deserve the vitriol you keep spitting my way. I keep trying to be nice to you, to get you to like me or hell even tolerate me, and I don’t know why I bother! Maybe because I like your friends and I want to keep hanging out with everyone and I know that would be easier if we could at least get along. I don’t want things to be awkward but I am so fucking sick of working so goddamn hard when you are so deadset on hating me. So, you want to sit here and feel all sorry for yourself, fine, but I’m going to have the fun I planned on before I invited you tonight and you fucking ruined it!”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open in surprise, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. He looked stunned and damn, he wasn’t saying anything back. No snappy retort. No shitty little comment. He just sat, staring at you, dumbfounded. He was actually speechless. You didn’t think he was capable of that but you found you really didn’t care. Not wanting to give him the chance to collect himself and find words, you quickly made your way back to the rink.

“That looked tense. What the hell was that all about?” Steve questioned as he hopped down from the wall and skated alongside you. “You and Munson not getting along?”

“Have we ever?” you groaned, your legs sweeping long in an attempt to match Steve’s strides. “I seriously don’t know what his problem is. He’s been an asshole to me ever since that night at the bonfire.” You paused, realizing that was a lie. “No, that’s not entirely true. He’s also been nice. Well, Eddie’s level of nice I suppose. I mean, he showed up at my work out of nowhere and took me to his uncle’s trailer to look at his car because he knew I needed one. He even offered to do the manual labor for free if I paid for the parts to get it all fixed up. But then he got all shitty with me when we got to the trailer park, assuming I was judging him for his childhood. Then tonight he agreed to come skating and everything was going fine and then he fell and he’s being an asshole again. He runs so damn hot and cold and I keep getting burned or frozen and I am just sick of it. Why is he such a jerk?”

Steve’s hand grabbed onto yours, slowing your movement as he led you to the edge of the rink and out of everyone’s way. Dustin stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes as he came skating by. Lucas waved wildly as Max held up both middle fingers and Steve returned her gesture, shaking his head, looking as exasperated as a mother who was beyond done with her child’s antics.

“Alright, look…Eddie’s been through a lot of shit, okay?” Steve pressed his lips together, his hand running over his mouth. “I don’t know if I should tell you all this. He might get pissed that I’m telling his shit but here’s the thing. His dad went to prison and his mom OD’d when he was just a kid. His Uncle Wayne took him in and raised him. The man is a damn saint, just a really good fucking guy. But this whole town treated Eddie like shit because he was the ex-con’s kid and the trailer park trash and the freak with long hair who listened to the devil’s music and ran a satanic cult. None of that is true by the way. Well, most of it actually is but he didn’t run a cult. It was just a nerdy gaming group. I never got into it but anyway…there were a string of murders a while back and…”

“Yeah. I know all of that,” you admitted, looking up at him. “Eddie was accused of them.”

Steve looked taken aback, clearly surprised that you were already a bit ahead of him, “Okay. Not sure if I want to know how you know all that…”

“I have Andy’s kid in my class.”

“Ahh…that makes sense. Of course that asshole would tell his kid a bunch of lies and have him spouting them. Anyway, the whole town was ready to string up Eddie and burn him at the stake even though there was no evidence pointing to him. They were ready to hunt him down. They had a town hall meeting and people in town were out with baseball bats and tire irons looking for him. It was ugly. His name might have been cleared but he’s never forgotten how it felt to have everyone turn on him, to assume he was capable of something so horrible, to be willing to hurt him or worse because they were that convinced. He still sometimes gets shit for it, not nearly what it used to be because Hopper set a lot of those people straight but it’s hard for him.”

“I get that. I do. And I’m sorry he went through all of that. I can’t even imagine what his life has been like and I hate that people were so awful to him, especially after everything else he’d been through. Even if he can be an asshole, I could never think he would be capable of murder but that still doesn’t explain why he’s being such a dick to me. I haven’t accused him of anything.”

“No, but he likes you,” Steve stated, tilting his head with a knowing smile.

“What are you talking about? He hates me,” you argued. Was Steve crazy? Had he not seen what had just occurred, not moments ago?

“He doesn’t hate you. He hates what you could mean. He hates what you make him feel. He hates what could happen if he actually lets someone in past all that armor he’s built up around himself this past decade. You see, Eddie hasn’t dated anyone.” Steve’s nose crinkled, his mouth pursed as he held his hand and wiggled it from side to side. “He’s gone out with women. He’s slept with a fair few over the years but he has not had a real relationship maybe ever. He doesn’t trust anyone to allow them to get close enough.”

“Whoa,” you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in front of you as if you could shield yourself from Steve’s words. “Be kind. Please rewind. How in the hell did we go from talking about why he’s so mean to me to talking about relationships? I appreciate you talking to me about this, trying to help me understand, but I really think you’re wrong. There is nothing about him that makes me think he even likes my company, let alone likes me, let alone would want to date me. If he does, he is doing a hell of a job hiding it.”

“Of course he is. That’s what Munson is an expert at these days, burying any pesky feelings deep down and locking them up so they never see the light of day. Heaven forbid he feels an ounce of happiness or joy because he assumes the minute he does, it will get snatched from him. He doesn’t believe he deserves it. He doesn’t believe the universe will ever allow him to have it.” Steve sighed. “Look, he’s like a dog. His aggression is really just masking his fear. He’s all bark and no bite anyway. I am telling you, under all that mess of hair and denim and leather and surliness, he is really just a little boy who is needing someone to love him. The question is, are you brave enough to try?”

You were momentarily stunned. You couldn’t believe the words you were hearing. Your mind was racing, eyes wide, your mouth hung open as you struggled to take in what he was asking you. You felt like you were in a different world where you didn’t know the language or customs and nothing was making any sense. Up was down and right was left and off was on and in was out. What in the hell was he talking about? Love? You barely even knew Eddie. You couldn’t even get him to have a civil conversation half the time.

“What?” you finally shot out, your brain finally firing on all cylinders again. Your hands came to your hips as you gaped at Steve. “We barely know each other, Steve. Why are you talking about love?”

Steve shrugged as he began to skate backwards, “When you know, you know, right? Why do you think I stopped using my charms on you? We all know. Now you two just need to figure it out.”

When you know, you know? You felt like you didn’t know anything as you watched Steve skate away from you. This town and its dark past, these people and all their goddamn secrets and cryptic words, that damn metalhead and his temperamental attitude. You didn’t know a goddamn thing and you certainly didn’t know anything about love. Your failed marriage was more than proof of that. If you did, you wouldn’t be standing here right now, you wouldn’t have met any of them, and you never would have laid eyes on Eddie Munson. And at the moment, you were kind of wishing that was the case.

Chapter 10

Taglist

@tlclick73 @bebe07011 @eddiesguitarskills @witchwolflea @nailbatanddungeon @emilyslutface @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @corrodedcoffincumslut @mmunson86 @josephquinnsfreckles @katethetank

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blackthunder137 · 2 years

Text

Kiss her you fool (Mattheo Riddle x reader)

Pairings- Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Summary- Mattheo has something on his mind and he desperately tries to tell you but the voices inside his head prevent him from doing so. What will he do?

Warnings- Cursing; making-out; hooking up (idk if that's a warning 💀)

Writer’s Note- First time writing for Mattheo, so please be easy on me. Again, this is not well written so just be sure of that. This fic is loosely based on the song ‘Kiss Her You Fool’ by Kids That Fly. Enjoy!

Navigation Taglist Mattheo Riddle's masterlist

Mattheo had never expected to be apprehensive in the presence of others, let alone girls. However, the instant he was around you, he was nervous and had an uneasy feeling.

He was renowned for being arrogant and obnoxious, yet when you were around him, he felt things he never expected to feel. He tried to brush it off, but he couldn't help but feel vulnerable whenever he saw you.

He has only one chance. He had to make the first move. But what if she isn't looking at him the same way he is? Something more than just a friend. His stomach turns just thinking about it. He decided to call you and ask you to meet him at the Room of Requirements.

How in the hell was he going to do that?

He mustered all the courage to pull out his phone and dial your number. Oh, the number of times he'd cut the call after the first ring, just for you to pick it up after a few failed attempts. He was baffled and stuttered over his words.

Somehow, he managed to ask you to come to the room of requirements. His thoughts were revolting against him.

"What if she doesn’t like me back?"

"What would I do then?"

That night, he couldn't sleep. He decided to stroll up to the Astronomy Tower to smoke after moving from one side to the other side of the bed. He sighed and made his way up the Astronomy Tower.

He stood there gazing at the skies. It appeared to be lovely. He lit his cigarette and inhaled the smoke as he thought about you. He still remembers how the two of you sneaked in here and watched the stars with snacks, just the two of you. Something you two did all the time.

His mind wandered to what he would say if the two of you met in the Room of Requirements.

He had never experienced anything like this before. He used to attract women just because he was handsome and appealing. He never had to work to attract girls, and his relationship with them was limited to sleeping with them.

He vividly remembers the first time he saw you. even though he was initially uninterested in you. He discovered how great and awesome you are when you two started talking to each other.

You were the only one who drew his attention. You were different. Every time he saw you, he would think to himself, "Perfect for me."

You have both been friends for a long time. He was falling more and more in love with you every day. He never imagined a guy like him falling in love with you.

Blaise would constantly say that Mattheo loved her because of the way he looked at her. It was easy to figure out that he had feelings for you because it was so evident. He was always attentive when you needed to say something, and he was always willing to help you, which most people found amusing.

But here he was, desperately in love with you and want to express his feelings for you.

The next day went by pretty fast, and in no time you had to meet him in the Room of Requirements. He arrived at the Room of Requirements pretty early. He was now thinking of what he would say to you.

He was pacing around the room, his palms sweaty and his heart racing. He ruffled his hair with his hands. He was now debating whether or not he should inform you, or if he should just flee. This was far more difficult than he had imagined.

Someone had made a disturbance at the entrance, and Mattheo turned around to investigate. You were there, as gorgeous as ever. He was stunned. You smiled as you approached him, amazed that he had been invited to such a place. If you ever met, it used to be in places like The Black Lake or Astronomy, rather than an improbable setting like The Room of Requirements.

You remarked, "Hey," as you approached him. "Why did you call me?" you said, your tone tinged with inquisitiveness.

"Hey, I think you're incredibly cool," he blurted out, realising what he had just said. He would have taken the opportunity to disappear if it had been offered to him.

"What?" you inquired, amused by what he had just stated. "I called because you have one of my books and I'd like it back."

"What the heck am I even saying?" he wondered aloud.

"Uh... okay, I'll return it to you." You responded, fully oblivious to the situation.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, you questioned, "Is that what you called me for?"

"Yeah... wait-no!" he responded.

"You're acting strange." "Are you all right, Theo?" You inquired, perplexed as to what was going on.

Mattheo was deep in thought at this point. They seemed to have gained control of him. "What if she merely breaks their friendship after his confession?" said a chorus of voices within his head.

"I hope she feels the same way I do," the other voice said.

He jolted back to reality to find you staring at him blankly. "I am. Yes, I'm alright," he answered, shifting his gaze back and forth between you and your lips.

He had this sudden desire to kiss you. Isn't that the best solution? I mean, if he couldn't say anything, he could just kiss her. After all, his lips would tell her how much he craves and loves her. Maybe then everything will turn out fine.

"I'm getting ready to leave." You said, "I have some work to do." You were going to leave when your wrist was grabbed.

He exclaimed, "Wait!"

When you turned around, you saw him lost in meditation.

He just had one more chance to make things right. Something had to be done. His thoughts were revolting, and he had a lot going on in his head.

"Kiss her!" says the narrator. Just go for it! "

"You idiot, kiss her." This is the moment you've been waiting for your whole life.

"Kiss her!" said the voices inside his head.

He muttered under his breath, "Fuck it," and then quickly joined his lips to yours, luring you into a deep, passionate kiss.

That was something you didn't expect. Today is not one of those days. Even though the kiss had taken you by surprise, you reciprocated the kiss. His hair was gripped by his hands. You drew yourself closer to Mattheo, his hands slowly making their way to your waist, pulling you in deeper, your bodies almost colliding.

His tongue explored your mouth as it made its way towards it. Your tongue is entangled in each other. His grunts and your moans filled the room. "You two pulled away for air."

You always liked Mattheo, and the fact that he too had the same feelings made you have butterflies in your stomach.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to do that," he said, looking at you. You nodded in response and chuckled, and the both of you indulged in yet another passionate and steamy kiss.

TAGS- @thehalfbloodedwitch @nottluvr @miss-celestial-being @n0agranger @thespiritoflife @siriusblackstwin @lazydreamer19 @pottahishotasf @imabee-oralizard

Likes and reblogs are appreciated.

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carebearmareee · 4 months

Text

kiss her you fool !

asher and babe’s first kiss, written by me, in full detail (jk it’s a draft) based off of the song “kiss her you fool” by Kids That Fly. they/them pronouns are used for babe :)

on the third date they went ice skating. not the best idea. sure, asher was the one to ask them to go skating with him, but he started rethinking that decision when he realized he had no idea how to skate whatsoever. it was nice when babe grabbed his hand to steady him, which only led to them going down with him the next time his skate caught on a small crack in the ice. shit, this was not supposed to be going so horribly.

babe steadies themself and extends a hand for him to take again. “are you ok??”

he almost laughs at how concerned they seem because hello?? he literally just knocked them over and they’re asking if he’s ok?

“yeah, i’m fine! uhahf- are you ok? i mean it’s basically my fault that we fell- god!”

“don’t worry ash, it’s all good,” they smile, and asher thinks he might have died right then and there, “oh, hey! you might want to re-tie your skates, we’ve been on the ice for a while so they might be kinda lose by now.”

he agrees, and tells them that he’s going to the bathroom before they can help him with his skates. he whips out his phone to text milo as soon as the gets in a stall.

Today 7:18 PM

ash: MILO

milo: WHAT

milo: what did you do

milo: wait aren’t you supposed to be on a date right now??

ash: yeah

milo: did you ditch them?? oh my god asher

ash: no!! i’m in the bathroom. and im at the skating rink and things are not going well. like at all

ash: i keep messing things up AHHH

ash: AND I REALLY WANT TO KISS THEM SHAKDJSJ BUT HOWWW

milo: ohh that’s what you’re so worried aboutt

milo: just kiss em you foollllll

ash: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN I FALL OVER EVERY TWO SECONDS??

milo: when the moment happens it’ll happen, just be patient doofus

ash: ugh ok.

milo: NOW GET BACK TO UR DATE YOU GOT THIS KING

ash: OK 😭😭

he thought it was the right moment when babe was holding both of his hands and skating backwards while looking up at him ever so sweetly. he really wanted to kiss them there. but then they squealed (adorably, if he may add) and turned around, because one of their favorite songs was on. damn it. either he was failing miserably or babe was extremely oblivious to any hints he was dropping.

#im probably never gonna finish this #redacted asher #redacted babe #redacted asmr #redacted audio #mare’s drafts!#no one asked u mare 🤭

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mushrubes · 1 year

Text

Kiss her you fool

Masterlist | marvel masterlist |

Requested : yes

Song : Kiss her you fool - Kids that fly

Pairing : Steve Rogers x (she/her) Stark! reader

Type : fluff

Warnings : Angst if you squint

Word count : 1.4k

you’re so loved!! <3

——————————

“Stop making up your excuses!” Bucky groaned, looking over at his childhood best friend. Sam laughed knowingly, taking another sip of his protein shake as they all sat on the bench from training. Steve wiped his sweat away with the towel, shaking his head at the two. He denied the accusations that he had feelings for his friend but these two had spent years with him now - they knew him inside out, aware of when he was lying. “Call her up, tell her you forgot something.” Sam suggested, Steve furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. He sat down, sipping his drink. “Why?” he huffed, not aware of their ideas. The two stared him, knowing he rarely spoke to them and when he did, almost made a fool of himself. “Okay, okay.” he surrendered, picking up his phone.

-----

“Nat, stop it!” Y/n groaned, Natasha sat opposite and laughing as she watched her blush, her phone buzzing and Y/n picking it up straight away. “Is it him?” Natasha teased, Y/n ignoring her as she read the notification that appeared on her phone.

Missed call from Steve (1)

“Nat, be quiet for a second.” she ordered, hushing her best friend as she raised an eyebrow. Y/n called him back, the phone ringing a few times before he finally picked up. “Steve! What’s up?” she asked, holding up a middle finger to Nat as she wiggled her eyebrows at her. “Y/n, hey, uh...I think I left something at yours when we all hung out, do you mind me coming to find it?” he asked, Y/n confused as she didn’t remember anything being left. “Oh! Uh...of course!” she assured, Steve sighing on the other end and some whispers being heard that she couldn’t figure out before she heard a slap.

“...Steve?” Y/n asked, holding in a laugh as she heard Bucky’s voice in the background. “Yeah? Oh, sorry! Just uh Bucky and Sam being annoying as usual.” he laughed awkwardly, scratching his neck. “I’ll come by later if that’s okay?” he asked, Y/n humming in agreement. “Yeah, that’s good! I’ll see you later then Steve.” she grinned. “See you later, Y/n/n.” he bid goodbye, hanging up.

------

Steve knocked on the door, it almost opening instantly. “Hey.” Y/n greeted, Steve smiling softly at her. “Oh, uh, come in.” she gestured, stepping to the side as he entered, closing the door behind him. He walked into the living room, Y/n gasping. “Hang on a second, I’ll go get your jacket - I found it earlier.” she smiled, Steve nodding and feeling relieved that he genuinely did forget something. While he waited, Sam and Bucky’s words repeated in his head, reminding him. “It's worth more than you are thinking, Steve! Don't be a fool, tell her you think she's cool!” Sam exclaimed.

“Capsicle, nice to see you here.” Tony grinned, taking a drink of his mug. “Tony.” he responded, nodding his head at him, ignoring the knowing smirk he gave him. Luckily, he saved by Y/n walking back over, glaring at her brother. “What did you say?” she huffed, raising an eyebrow at her brother. He put his hands up in defence shaking his head. “Nothing, nothing.” Tony defended, winking at them as Y/n rolled her eyes at him and dragged Steve out of the room. “I’m sorry about him.” she sighed, handing the jacket to him. He chuckled and shook his head. “No, no, don’t worry.” he assured, pausing for a second. “I was uh wondering if...” he paused, a lump in his throat as he tried to get the words out. Y/n pressed a hand to his arm, squeezing it.

“It’s just me Steve, no need to be so tense.” she smiled, he nodded. He cleared his throat before trying again. “Do you want to come out with me tomorrow? There’s an ice rink in the city and I was thinking we could go?” he asked, remembering the plan. He froze as they didn’t respond instantly, feeling like a fool. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it awkward and you’re just really cool-” he rambled as they laughed, cutting him off as he tilted his head. “Of course, Steve.” they assured, mirroring the smile that was on his face as they walked to the front door. “Pick me up at two?” she asked, Steve nodding. “Sounds good.” he assured, standing outside. She leant up, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he reddened, silently thanking the cold weather as he walked away from the door. “Hey, Steve?” they called, making him turn around and looking at her.

“For the record, I think you’re pretty cool too.”

----

“Stop waiting for a fairy tale to take you away, don't wait for someday.” Bucky lectured, Steve sighing at his friend’s words. “You waited last time and look what happened. Don’t let it happen again.” he comforted, patting his shoulder before heading out of the kitchen. He heard murmurs in the hallway, sitting back down and eating his food. “Hey.” Natasha greeted, walking in behind him. He nodded at her, taking another bite of his food. “You know, she’s thinking the same thing as you.” she exposed, Steve looking at her in confusion as to how she would know. “I’m her best friend, I know everything about her and besides - it’s not hard when you both constantly ogle at each other.” she teased, laughing at his darkening face.

“Why haven’t you told her?” she pestered, Steve sighing as he placed his empty bowl into the dish washer. “Nat, as much as I trust you, it’s not worth me possibly ruining my friendship with her.” he sighed, the red head sighing at her friend, seeing the pair were both as bad as each other. “Don't be afraid, dreams aren't found they're made.” she said, grinning as he rolled his eyes at her cheesy words. “I have an idea, Steve.” she spoke up, catching his attention. “Tony’s throwing one of his Christmas parties, pull her aside and then confess.” she shrugged, Steve chuckling at the simplicity of her tone. “I’ll try.” he gave in, Nat happy with the answer.

----

"You’ve only got one chance.” Sam taunted, looking at his best friend who he’d walked in with. “Yeah, yeah, okay.” Steve ignored, waving his hand at him while he looked around, searching for her. “They’re over there, most likely.” Bucky grinned, pointing at Nat who was stood in a group, shaking her arm and Y/n now waving at Steve. His face lit up, waving back and making his way over. “Hi.” she giggled, looking up at the soldier who towered over her. “Hello, y/n/n.” he responded softly, taking her hand and twirling her as her dress skirt spun. “You look amazing- not that you don’t every day of course-” he rambled, cut off by her loud laughter. “It’s okay, Steve. You look pretty good tonight too.” she returned, Steve scratching his neck and both their cheeks heating up and taking sips from their drinks. They had accidentally matched, both wearing a subtle navy blue (most likely Natasha’s and Bucky’s work).

He finished his, placing it down on the bar next to them while she finished hers, standing up and holding his hand out to her. “Care to dance, m’lady?” he joked, Y/n taking his hand and standing up. “Of course, sir.” she carried on, Steve leading her to the dance floor. “Is this okay?” he asked as he placed is hands on her waist. “It’s more than okay, Steve.” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her head on his chest while he put his on top, swaying as the slow song finished, a more upbeat one coming on that he recognised. He looked over at Bucky, referring to the music as he nodded and playfully rolled his eyes. “That’s not important! Kiss her, you fool!” he mouthed back, Steve nodding and cheeks reddening yet again.

He pulled away, grabbing her hand and twirling her, making her gasp before sending her into a fit of laughter. “S-Steve! Warn me...next time.” she got out in between her laughs, Steve grinning at her. “What was that? Do it again?” he grinned mischievously, Y/n’s face widening as they heard what he said over the music. “Steven Grant Rogers, don’t you dare!” they warned, more laughter escaping as he twirled her, this time dipping her down at the end. “Steve.” she mumbled, Steve raising an eyebrow. “Kiss me.” she said, the soldier smirking before leaning down, connecting their lips together and missing the $20 Tony handed to Bucky.

“It’s about damn time.”

#steve #Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers oneshot #steve rogers imagines #captain america #captain america imagines #captain america oneshot #captain america x reader #captain america angst #captain america fluff #steve rogers fluff #Steve Rogers x Female Reader #steve rogers x fem reader #steve rogers x stark!reader

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this-daydream-is-dangerous-13 · 9 months

Note

When do you think they wrote songs together?

Also, which 1D songs are haylor?

We have confirmation that they wrote together some time in 2012. Jackknife Lee, who worked on The Last Time and 1D’s Something Great (Harry’s the only 1Der with that writing credit), talked about it in the linked article.

“It was out of my field of expertise and interest, but I was intrigued and my girls were thrilled. Taylor was nice and very professional. She knew what she wanted and there was no fucking about. She was seeing Harry Styles at the time, so he came to Topanga on her recommendation. She wrote a few songs with him, and it was the same thing – quick. But this time it was more directed by the management and label. They were after something specific. I wanted more acoustic and gentle, almost Americana, and they wanted bombast. They got what they wanted, and that was the extent of my foray into teen-pop territory. It was fun.”

She helped him transition to songwriting, even introducing him to her collaborators. I would bet money that she made the intro to Nashville’s Tyler Johnson (who sang on tracks, and engineered Holy Ground and The Lucky One). Harry’s been working with him ever since; they just won AOTY together with Kid Harpoon for Harry’s House.

And they’re creatives and prolific songwriters who write in a decade-long dialogue with each other. I am sure they could not resist writing together!

As for 1D…wow. A lot! All the ones with Harry as a sole 1D writer, for sure, so:

Happily, Something Great, Where Do Broken Hearts Go, Stockholm Syndrome, Olivia, If I Could Fly, Walking in the Wind. Plus a bunch of the leaked demos - Half the World Away, Don’t Let Me Go, Already Home, Trouble, Lay Down, Hunger, Him, She Got Away (newish leak Ryan Tedder co-write), Something I’ve Been Waiting For, and Where We Are.

He has a bunch of cowrites, so they’re partially Haylor: Back for You, They Don’t Know About Us, Last First Kiss, Summer Love, Irresistible, Still the One, Right Now, Story of My Life, Night Changes, Fool’s Gold, Perfect, A.M.

And then there are uncredited lyrical contributions, or times people have said “this is like the life of *someone* in the band. These are inferred from interviews (like from Ed re. 18) or context cues: Heart Attack, Change my Mind, Magic, She’s Not Afraid, Loved You First, Nobody Compares, You & I, Strong, Half a Heart, 18, Hey Angel, End of the Day, Infinity, History.

Whew. It’s a lot, but he calls himself out in Falling: “I’m well aware I write too many songs about you.”

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mayfieldss · 2 years

Text

Kiss her you fool - Jesper Fahey

Warnings: mentions of violence, x femreader, I finished writing this at four in the morning and added it to the queue without thinking. Someone send help.

AN: Very loosely based on the song 'Kiss her you fool' by Kids that fly.

Jesper was usually one for throwing himself in the deep end. He liked to abide by the 'You only live once' approach, pursuing all that he thought worth risking, and all he thought worth fighting for. There was something about chasing feelings, however, that left Jesper uncertain in his approach. If it was his emotions toward the tables, Kruge, or a good gunfight, Jesper found it easy to decide where he intended to go. With true matters of the heart, however, Jesper had to admit it was difficult to find his feet.

He was good at flirting with the mindless stranger until he dropped, good at chasing those in which he found interest. But there was a little pest of a thing that he had yet to tame, an infestation of a four-letter word that he did not know how to approach.

So, Jesper had a problem, and that problem was that he quite possibly loved you, in something of a non-platonic way. So far, he had found many an excuse to be by your side, many a reason to linger in your presence and drop hints, though none of which you seemed to catch. He had done his fair share of flirting with you, though, Jesper feared he had cried wolf too many times, his continuous flirtations with you since you met now having become something of a joke rather than a representative of serious feelings. He cursed himself for his charm. He cursed himself for the lips of which could not stop themselves from sweet-talking anything that he passed. To put it simply Jesper didn't know what to do.

The night was cold in Ketterdam, the sky a canvas of harsh black as if the paint used was born from coal. Clouds covered the sky above, though, were so thick and inky themselves they could hardly be distinguished, and Jesper was headed to the Crow Club, where he hoped to find you. He had originally found himself heading toward one of the back alleys at which he liked to practice his aim, intending to spill out his feelings in a flurry of bullets against glass bottles. It was clear now, that he had changed his mind, boots crushing the stones beneath his feet as he came to the end of his journey, doors of the Crow Club before him. What had brought him here was the thought that perhaps he could tell you how he felt, though the doors to the club, now looming like a threat before him, made Jesper second guess.

He loved the place, but the thought of confessing something he had never before felt to you, was a terrifying scenario. Jesper had been in many a fight, hands thrown at him, bullets barely missing his lanky frame, and upon occasion the rare blast of an explosion that left his ears to ring. Yet, somehow, telling you how he felt seemed a lot more of a challenge.

The club was loud, bustling with the messy folk that dared to enter and throw away what was left of their lives in the hopes they could win back something better. Jesper was in fact one of those people, so he had no right to judge, and he didn't.

You weren't often at the Crow Club, only making an appearance at the place if requested by Kaz Brekker or one of your other acquaintances. You had told Jesper once, that you weren't fond of watching temptation consume people whole, and thus never liked to be in such a place if you could help it. So, you spent most of your free time wandering the streets or lounging in your room at the Slat, but as Jesper had yet to find you anywhere, the Crow Club was his last resort. Perhaps he was just telling himself this so that he could make his way there and gamble away his problems, and his feelings, though such things never seemed to work. More often than not he left the tables with more trouble than he started with, and a lot more emotions to account for.

There seemed to be more people inside than usual, but maybe it was Jesper's mind exaggerating the number of bodies in the club, due to the fact he was looking for someone in particular. Jesper had only one face in mind, that being yours. Pushing his way through the people was a difficulty particularly when there were so many games of chance occurring around him in which he was dying to participate.

Just as Jesper found himself willing to give in, he saw you on the other side of the club, talking to someone he couldn't see, which of course was most likely Inej. The lights in the Crow Club were dim and yellow, casting something of an unappealing glow upon everything the light could touch. Dust circled with it, adding to how unattractive the club tended to be. Despite all this Jesper still found the breath leaving him at the sight of you, the smallest of smiles that tinged your lips as you spoke, the shine of your eyes reflected in lighting that should have been repulsive. Yet somehow when you stood beneath it, he found it wonderful.

Plastering on his signature grin, Jesper let his feet carry him to you, hoping that today would be the day he had the guts to spill exactly how he felt. By the time he reached you Inej was gone, no trace of the Suli girl to be seen, and you turned so abruptly that he almost bumped straight into you. He felt ridiculous, the jolt of electricity that seemed to run through him at your smile almost unbearable. It was the kind of adrenaline he craved to chase on a round at the tables or a job gone wrong with the dregs. Yet it was a much safer kind of dose.

"My fair lady" Jesper allowed himself to wink at you, following the action with a swift bow as though you were a queen. You might as well have been in the way you ruled Jesper's thoughts.

"Good evening Jes".

Jesper loved it when you called him that, though he had never brought it up to you out of fear you might stop. There was something about the nickname coming from your lips alone that seemed to jumpstart his heart.

He watched as you began to walk by him then, coming to the realization that grinning at you like that of a goofy dog, was not sufficient for conversation.

"Where are you headed?" It was all Jesper could come up with to ask, already making a move to follow you, coming into a rhythm of walking by your side.

"The Slat." You responded without so much as looking his way, focused on finding your way through the crowd of gamblers without difficulty. Jesper, though, he hated to admit such things, found it hard not to take this to heart. It was stupid to do so and he knew as much, but with a heart as big as his, of which he was willing to hand to you on a silver platter, he was a lost cause for such things.

"Would you be interested in..." Jesper trailed off, unable to think of an offer to make.

It was then that you turned to him, but with his mind empty of thought, he wished you hadn't. "Yes, Jesper. I would love to".

You spoke with a genuineness not often found in the trap of a place that was the barrel and it took a moment for your words to register in Jesper's mind. When they did, however, he found himself grinning beyond control.

Jesper had no plan. He remembered coming up with something of one on his way to the Crow Club where step one had been to find you, but now that this task was accomplished Jesper realized he had yet to come up with step two.

As of now, he was walking the darkened streets of Ketterdam with you in silence; Something Jesper could hardly bear. Though Jesper had not curated a plan, he knew well enough that this was not how he intended his night to go. Perhaps it was a hopeless romantic part of him, though he wondered how he had kept that piece of him alive in a place such as Ketterdam where nearly everything dies, but Jesper had seen his night going differently. Somehow, he had believed that he would have the courage to tell you exactly what he was feeling, lay it out like the cards he was so fond of, and hope that what he felt was reciprocated. Now as his feet crushed the gravel and his jacket blew in the lightest of breezes, he wondered how he had ever imagined himself doing so.

"What exactly did I get myself into?" Your voice rings against the night air, a sound that Jesper is grateful for in breaking the silence.

"I'm not sure what you mean." He finds the corner of his mouth twitching with the threat of a smile that he can never seem to prevent. He knows what you're asking of him but leading along the conversation just seems more fun.

"What exactly was the offer you were about to make me before I agreed without so much as hearing it?" You loop your arm through his as you speak, the grin that Jesper was trying to hide pouring out over his features at the contact. If it was possible, Jesper would have loved you more.

"Can I be honest with you, Y/N?" trying to hide the caution in his voice comes as something of a difficulty, and as if on cue all words leave his brain as you nod you're head. He has nothing to say, his big brave moment of confession is gone. The speech he ran through in his mind as he walked with you in silence had abandoned him, replaced by the rambling chaotic thoughts that held residence most often in Jesper's mind.

"I don't know what I was going to offer you in the Crow Club, I just couldn't think of anything to say". The answer is honest, and he wants to say more but thinks the better of it. He couldn't think of anything to say then, and he can't think of anything now.

You smile, quiet chuckle leaving your lips, but nothing more. Once again you fall into silence, all but for the sound of your feet on the gravel and the low breaths that leave both you and Jesper as you walk.

Days later and Jesper is still cursing himself for not taking his shot that night. You were right there with him in the not-so-beautiful streets of the barrel, yet he couldn't find the words to say. It was someone by the name of Nina Zenik, however, who suggested to Jesper, that perhaps he didn't need words at all.

"I would have thought you'd be better at this by now" the voice of the Grisha girl was the thing to snap Jesper out of one of his many brooding moments, though he doesn't look up.

"Better at what exactly?" Currently, Jesper was swishing around the drink in his cup, no doubt looking like a hopelessly disappointed puppy, and he continues to do so without so much as turning around.

"Flirting, expressing feelings, romance" Nina pauses, and even though he can't see her, Jesper can sense the way she lifts her shoulder in a shrug before continuing. "You know, all the good stuff".

"I am fabulous at flirting" Jesper frowns at his drink before placing the cup on the table with a sigh. He doesn't move as Nina sits down beside him at the bar. He had no idea how she found him in the first place, let alone why she would want to. This wasn't somewhere Nina could often be seen and the only guess he had as to why she would appear in such a place, was that she was looking for him.

"You look awfully sad, I'm guessing it's because you can't get up the guts to pursue the girl of your dreams" There is a teasing tone to Nina's voice and Jesper finds some comfort in it, pushing his drink over to her in hopes that it can be money not wasted.

"Oh, I'm pursuing her, but I'm failing".

"Honey, I know" Nina's lips hold a sympathetic smile, and Jesper can't help but chuckle at the comment. He doesn't question how Nina knows about his feelings for you, she is something of an expert at romance after all.

"I've tried to tell her Nina, but my words are traitors" Jesper can't help but rest his forehead upon the top of the bar, no doubt an unsanitary activity. He was too tired to care and frustrated with himself beyond measure.

"Jesper, have you heard of the concept show not tell?" Nina's voice is genuine in questioning and Jesper raises his head just enough to look at her.

"How does this apply to the struggle that is my life?"

Nina rolls her eyes, the action causing Jesper to frown. "Don't you think it would be so much easier to show her how you feel instead of trying to tell her? It's not hard to make a grand gesture in a place like the barrel".

Jesper thinks this over, disagreeing entirely with Nina's train of logical ideas. "The barrel doesn't have so much as a flower for me to give her".

Despite this, Jesper has to admit that showing instead of telling seems a hell of a lot easier considering Jesper's many failed attempts at using his words. Still, it seems more complex than Nina tends to imply.

Nina heaves a sigh worthy of a thousand men back from a day’s work, before looking Jesper over carefully. "Do you want me to simplify this even more than I already have?" She seems to put emphasis on the 'already' pushing the idea that Jesper's brain is working at a much slower pace than it should be.

Ignoring this, Jesper nods. "Please do".

Nina sighs again, though smiling, and pushes Jesper's drink back to him as if to say that he will need it. "Kiss her you fool".

It felt like Deja vu as Jesper found himself walking toward the Crow Club, hoping to find you there amongst the groups of hopeless people. He had once again ventured everywhere else to find you, only to come up empty with any trace of your presence. It was late in the day, the sun only just high enough and bright enough behind the clouds to cast a white glow against the streets, and Jesper found himself rushing toward the gambling house full of inspiration provided by none other than Nina Zenik.

His feet found their way into a run, not wanting to lose the confidence he found himself holding before he made it to you. It was not uncommon for people to be seen racing through the streets of the barrel, those that did most commonly running from someone wishing them dead. Jesper was racing toward his destination for an entirely different reason, not that the people of the barrel would know.

When he finally made it to the doors of the Crow Club, he found himself out of breath, chest heaving and aching with that of much consumed cold air. His lungs burned and his heart pounded like that of a judge's gavel beating out the verdict of a trial long-awaited to end. Just as Jesper thought his breath was caught, his eyes landed upon you discussing something with one of the dealers at a table right in the centre of the club. The air in his lungs was gone again, though he didn't plan to squander any more time.

Jesper only had one chance, his confidence bound to die in the next few minutes, so it was now or never. As you finished your conversation with the dealer Jesper found himself halfway across the club in seconds, bringing up all the courage he could find to consume him. He wasted no time once he got to you, your face one of surprise as he spun you to face him before pressing his lips to yours.

It lasted a few seconds at most, though Jesper couldn't deny it felt good to finally kiss you, the weight of something he had wanted to do for so long, finally off his shoulders. Still running high on the adrenaline of it all, Jesper couldn't register the true panic swelling within him that you had in fact, not kissed him back. His mind all but roared with the thought of what he had just done and how he had done it, eyes scanning your face for any signs of how you felt. You stood there staring at him for what seemed to be an eternity, though it couldn't have been more than a few seconds at most before you pulled him back down to kiss you again, this time kissing him back.

Jesper was well aware of the people surrounding the both of you and had no doubts that Kaz would bring you both to his office later to discuss how public displays of affection make the customers feel uncomfortable and lonely. But for now, Jesper couldn't care less. Your lips were on his, and he was pulling you closer than you had ever been before. He would have to thank Nina later for her sound advice, but for now, he wanted to savour every piece of this moment. The fact that he was finally kissing you and you were kissing him back said it all. One kiss was a thousand words in one gesture, and he would never forget it.

AN: I am well aware this fic is not proofread. Bae, I am so tired please let it slide.

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