#jesper fahey oneshot

[mayfieldss]

Misinformation - Jesper Fahey

Warnings: general crow crimes, petty theft, and chaos.

AN: some Jesper scrap for you little scavengers

Jesper Fahey was known for being something of a loud and talkative soul, and sometimes this got him into trouble. Often you could ignore it, laugh it off or tease the boy when he had been called into Kaz's quarters for a stern talking to. It wasn't often that Jesper's incapability to be quiet came to have an effect on you, though, you knew eventually the trouble Jesper brought with him would catch up to you as well.

"You're partnering me up with Jesper?" You weren't mad, rather surprised at the news you had received from the bastard of the barrel. Kaz intended to complete a job by pairing both you and Jesper together, and you could by no means understand why he thought this was a good idea. You tolerated Jesper, laughed at his jokes, and spent enough time with him to be called friends, but you had never done a job together before—you wanted to keep it that way.

"You'll keep him in check" Kaz doesn't bother looking at you, he doesn't have the time to do so. You have come to believe that Kaz just doesn't like people and would do his best to avoid interaction with them at all costs.

"How do you know I'm capable of that?" Your question is genuine. You don't believe you can be the one to keep Jesper Fahey in line, quite frankly you don't think that anyone can, and you're not fond of babysitting.

"Because if you don't, you'll die" Kaz's words come sharp and were not at all what you expected in response. It certainly wasn't a comforting statement, but it was an inspiring one.

"You're sending me on a job that you know will lead me to my death?" You take a step forward but with the slightest tilt of Kaz's head at your approach, you think the better of it.

"If you can keep Jesper in check, you won't see death just yet." His tone is dismissive, and you know he wishes you to leave. It's irritating how much of a hold Kaz has over his entire crew, everyone never daring to protest his methods. There isn't anything you can say to change the mind of Kaz Dirtyhands Brekker and there never will be, so you do what is expected of you and leave the room, and Kaz, behind.

Almost as if on cue, Jesper appears comically from down the hall, turning to walk in the direction which you're headed once he sees you. "You excited about our job?" He seems to bounce rather than walk, and you take note of this for later in case it comes to be something dangerous to the span of your life.

"No".

"Come on," Jesper dares to sling an arm around your shoulder, grinning like a madman. "it's our first job together, it'll be fun."

"Jobs aren't supposed to be fun, Jes".

Jesper just chuckles, removing his arm from around you, opting to walk backward at your side so he can get a better look at you. "Now, Y/N, that's not the right attitude."

You raise a brow, deciding to humour the boy as you head to the stairs. Perhaps you could push him down them and find a new partner—preferably one of few words.

"You need to enjoy life, these jobs, they can be fun I promise," He pauses, turning to walk forward once more before glancing your way. "I'll show you."

"You'll show me?" You know you're walking way too fast down the staircase, going the greatest pace you can without running. Jesper, curse his long legs, keeps up with you just fine.

"I'll show you just how enjoyable Kaz's jobs can be."

This is a terrifying statement. It's settling upon you now just how almost imminent your death will be on this job. Jesper seems utterly unfazed by the concept, and you wonder whether Kaz had specified the dangers to the boy as he had you. Most likely he had, but Jesper just hadn't been paying attention.

-

When the day of the job finally arrived, you were sleep deprived and highly strung, two things you most definitely should not have been, but were. The concept of death at the fault of Jesper Fahey's rather loud personality had kept you awake thinking of all the ways you could keep the boy quiet and focused. You had thought of only two options so far, tying him up and shoving a cloth in his mouth, and of course, killing him. But you couldn't do either of those things to Jesper, he was your friend after all, and you would never be able to find it in yourself to hurt him beyond the friendly punch of an arm.

When you saw Jesper, he was dressed as usual in colourful attire that was in no way discrete. "Don't you think all this-" You wave a hand across his outfit suggestively, "Will bring us some unwanted attention?"

Jesper only laughs, placing a hand upon one of the guns at his hips for comfort. "All attention is wanted attention, Y/N".

You can't help but frown, trying to understand what of all things could be going on up in the mind of Jesper Fahey. "I think people trying to kill us is something of unwanted attention, Jes".

"Oh no" Jesper grins wide, something that would be rather contagious were you not so concerned. "That's the best kind of attention".

If you weren't afraid before, you most definitely were now, dragging Jesper out the doors of the Slat. Getting the job over and done with was the only option, facing your possible death braver than running from it.

The destination was something of an unappealing place on the outside, meant to deter criminals such as the Dregs from feeling inclined to enter. But the inside of the place was glamorous and beyond anything you had ever been a part of, and as you looked at Jesper it seemed that he and his choice of dress fit right in. Perhaps you would be the one to draw attention, in nothing but plain work attire.

"Are you worried about your appearance darling?" Jesper is eyeing you close, and you hadn't realized you had been looking down at your outfit until he spoke. All you do is shrug in response, ready to move on, though Jesper's voice stops you.

"I wouldn't worry, you look stunning, as always" he winks and you try your best to ignore the statement, refusing to acknowledge the ghost of a blush on your cheeks. You hate him for it, just how much he makes you feel, whether it be fear or something else entirely.

"In here" You summon Jesper over to you, the boy having taken the smallest of detours over to a rather interesting-looking lamp. He seemed to be having fun with it, reluctant to leave its fancy glow, but he approached you, nonetheless. Following you into the room which you'd found, he seemed oddly close to you, as if he was afraid to let you slip too far into danger. As though he had to be right there with guns at the ready, just in case. It was somewhat comforting that a part of Jesper did take the jobs seriously, even when most of it seemed like a joke.

You must have jinxed it, Jesper's attention seconds later caught by a painting lingering in the darkness. "What on earth is this?" He points to the thing as he makes his way to it, pulling a funny face back at you as he stops beside the art. "Who in their right mind would want this in their house?".

He's right, the painting is horrid. An image of a woman that appears as though possessed, cradling a picnic basket in one arm and a cat in the other, though the animal does not seem at all pleased. You allow a smile to slip, the faces Jesper pulls at the piece something that can not resist the reward of a grin.

As you turn away, however, looking for the particular item that you came for, Jesper speaks again. "I love it when you do that".

The words make you freeze just for a moment, hand outstretched and ready to open the box before you. "Do what?" You know you shouldn't give into his games, but you can't help yourself. You have to know what goes on in that marvellous mind.

"Smile," you can hear Jesper's footsteps as he walks about the room, making you want to look at him so badly. "I love it when you smile."

You refuse to give in to the charm he holds, opening the box before you as if his words have no effect. Clearly, they do, because you can't stop yourself from continuing the conversation.

"Why?"

Jesper laughs behind you somewhere in the room, most likely doing anything but what you were sent here to do. "It's a real smile, an infectious one".

Out of everyone, you were sure Jesper had the infectious smile, his grin always wide and inviting, a teasing kind of smile that dared you to share in his joy. Not that you noticed it enough to recall it in detail. What would that make you if you did?

The open box sat before you, a piece of jewellery inside. It was a large necklace that shone even in the darkness in which you stood. The moonlight from the far window reflected off its bright stones like mirrors, odd colours shining from the gems. This is what Kaz had sent you to retrieve, though the item seemed too fragile to even hold. It was clearly expensive and the thought of breaking it before you got it to Kaz weighed on your mind.

"Is that the necklace?"

You jumped, Jesper's voice right beside you as he lent over your shoulder to get a look at the object. How you had not noticed the boy approach, you did not know.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" He pulled a face in the moonlight, following it up with some kind of childish roar.

"Just don't sneak up on me like that and you won't be." It was hard not to give Jesper your full attention, you had to admit, but there was a job to do, and spending quality time with the boy could wait. You had to grab the jewel and get out before you were caught. Kaz would expect you back within the hour and you were certainly running behind schedule already.

"We should dance." Jesper pulls on your arm, daring you to come into the centre of the room with him. He's smiling in a way that suggests he's excited to take the risk and you hate him for it.

"No, we should not." You tug your arm from his grip, ready to remove the jewellery and make your escape. Jesper is persistent in his other plans.

"Come on Y/N, I promised you fun and I want to show you fun." He sounds genuinely unbothered as if he has all the time in the world to be prancing around some rich stranger's house. You would have expected a little more fear from him, but the boy was in fact without the feeling. So far, the job had gone smoothly, Jesper hadn't been too loud or irritating and there had been no need to watch over him with caution. Now, things were taking a turn.

"I don't consider getting ourselves caught a fun activity." Your voice is full of warning, but Jesper sees opportunity, though you're not sure what for.

"Just one dance Y/N."

"No."

"Give me two minutes of your time, I promise I'm a good dancer." Jesper is back at your side now, making attempts to take your hand in his, though, you swat him away each time.

"Jesper, stop."

To your surprise, Jesper does as he's told, though he doesn't stop talking. "Kaz really has you wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he?" His tone isn't accusatory but rather disappointed, as if he expected more from you. What was he waiting for? Did he expect you to call in the guards just for the thrill of it? Throw away the priceless jewels Kaz wanted just because he wanted to have some fun?

"Don't act like you aren't as well." You throw him a look, though you're not sure it could be entirely interpreted in the darkness, the moon falling behind a cloud outside.

"Do you even want to be here?" Jesper's voice is quieter now, a hint of emotion within the words that you can't quite decipher, but it makes your heart sink, nonetheless.

"No Jes, I don't want to be robbing some rich old lady in the middle of the night." You bring your focus back to the necklace, lifting it from the case as carefully as you can. A part of you was afraid an alarm would go off once it was removed, but you were met with nothing of the sort. Quiet surrounds you, which is somewhat unsettling as you make your way to the door of the room. You had to make it to the kitchen on the second floor now, your escape hatch waiting for you there.

"I meant; do you even want to be here with me?" Jesper is standing back in the room, his voice freezing you in place as you reach for the door handle. He sounds somewhat heartbroken, but there is frustration lacing his speech as well, just a hint of it.

"No Jesper, I don't want to be here with you." You don't know what brings you to say it, the honestly ripping through the quiet of the room just as the moonlight returns. You wish it had stayed hidden, it now casting Jesper in its light as you turn to face him. He doesn't look mad, but he's not happy either. It's as though you are staring at a deflated balloon, one slowly losing its air over time.

"Why not?"

It's a heart-breaking question that you don't know how to answer. You liked spending time with Jesper, but you were known to have high anxiety, and the possibility of him getting you caught or killed on a job weighed heavy on your consciousness. Telling him that made you sound selfish, but you didn't know what else to say.

"You don't like to follow the plan, you like to mess around," You pocket the necklace knowing well enough you've wasted too much time already. Losing it would destroy you. "It stresses me out Jesper, you stress me out."

Jesper lets out a groan, "I stress you out?" glancing up at the ceiling for a moment he runs a hand over his face. He's tired, and so are you. "Why do you think I asked you to dance?"

"Because you were built to stress me out?" You turn back to the door, pulling it open and peeking out as Jesper chuckles behind you. This most definitely had not been the plan and you were certain Kaz would pull you up on being late once you got back to the Crow Club. If you got back to the Crow Club.

"I asked you to dance because I thought it would help you loosen up, calm you down a little."

"Well, you were wrong" You move quickly out of the room, leaving Jesper behind, the boy following after you as you make your way through the house. How you're to get to the second floor without being spotted, you don't know, but you've got to try.

"Kaz is never wrong." You pause then, in the middle of the hallway. You should keep moving and get out of the open, so instead of being a sitting duck, you pull Jesper into the nearest room.

It turns out the room was more of a storage closet, its contents nothing like where you had previously been. You stumbled over a bucket as you tugged Jesper inside, closing the door behind him.

"What did Kaz say to you?" You don't bother whispering even though you probably should, a butler or perhaps the owner of the house able to appear any second.

Jesper doesn't say anything and it's then you realize that your hand is still firmly gripping the fabric of his vest, your hold on it what you used to pull him into the small space with you. You let go and Jesper clears his throat.

"Kaz put us together because he thinks you need to relax, you're too tense on jobs, and believe it or not, that leads to more mistakes than all the dumb shit I do."

You don't believe him, a frown forming on your brow. Jesper reaches up as if to wipe it away, but you slap his hand down. "I have never made a mistake on a job."

"Well, Kaz thinks you'll make one in the future." Jesper shrugs and you hate him for it—how he can be so calm in a situation like this.

"Kaz told me to keep you in line. He said that's why we were on the job together, so I could keep an eye on you." You wait for Jesper to react to the words, maybe flip out a little like you, but he seems unbothered.

His eyebrows raise and soon he's nodding, "That makes sense."

He doesn't care that Kaz sent both of you with different instructions, he's not bothered that he lied to both of you for the sake of the job. Jesper doesn't seem to care. You step back, leaning against the far wall of the storage closet. You're tired and angry, and as much as you hate to admit it, you're still stressed about the job.

"So what? Kaz wanted you to be my emotional support dreg?"

"I guess." Jesper shrugs again and you give in, banging the back of your head against the wall, frustration taking over. Jesper stands before you, something between a worried and amused expression mixing on his features.

"How do you stay so calm all the time?" You ask him finally, giving into Kaz's scheme, as much as you hate to do so. Jesper smiles, though its different to the ones he usually shares, placing a hand on one of the holsters at his hip.

"I don't'.

It's not the answer you were expecting and Jesper seems to notice, the smallest of chuckles leaving his lips. "I'm stressing on the inside all the time, Y/N. Sometimes I let it take over, sometimes I don't. It just depends on the day". His words are gentle, honest, and somehow, they make you feel better. It's nice to know that the panic consuming you at all hours during jobs is something you can share with someone else.

"I guess Kaz thinks we need each other, huh?" You can hear the smile in Jesper's voice now, it's a genuine one, though you can't see it in the dark of the closet.

"Maybe we do." Your words are quiet, but you know he can hear them, and soon he's approaching you, hand grabbing your own.

"Would you be interested in dancing with me some other time then?"

You pretend to think over the offer, waiting a moment in silence with his hand in yours until finally, you give him the relief of an answer. "I would love to".

Before Jesper can say anything more, you drag him back to the door of the closet opening it with caution and stepping out. You don't let go of his hand as you make your way through the house. You don't want to, and as much as you hate to admit it, Kaz was right. Holding Jesper's hand has kept you calmer on a job than you have ever been before. If Jesper notices he doesn't say anything, but he lets you know he's there occasionally, squeezing your hand every once and a while. You appreciate it and him.

It seems like forever, but at last, you make it out of the place, jewellery secure in your pocket, and the job going off without a hitch. You give yourself a moment to bask in this fact, despite being near an hour late to meet Kaz back at the Crow Club. Jesper laughs behind you, a sound of relief similar to what you felt, and you drop his hand, at last, turning to face him.

You can't help the grin that takes over your features, everything that happened blending into one hopeless mess that hadn't been as bad as you expected. Jesper is watching you with something like pride, and you share a moment or two of silence before he breaks it.

"I love it when you smile."

He's already told you this once tonight, and his words make you realize just how wide your grin truly is. You shouldn't be this happy with yourself, there is nothing that should cause this much emotion, other than Jesper, standing before you with his own infectious smile.

You don't say anything, instead extending a hand to him which he takes. He waits a moment before twirling you around, and soon you're dancing in the streets like two young children late for dinner. What makes this just that bit better is that it's that time of night in Ketterdam, where it's quiet and empty other than the few clusters of people lurking in the alleys. On the main streets the moonlight shines down through thinning clouds and you are free to dance with Jesper all the way back to the Crow Club where Kaz should be waiting. You're in no rush, even though you should be back by now.

Jesper is smiling at you as though you are the only person he wishes to know, and you have no doubts that you are looking at him just the same. Kaz will wring you both out to dry by the time you get back, but that's a problem for later, for now you want to stay where you are.

-

GRISHAVERSE TAGLIST: @avyannadawn

GENERAL TAGLIST: @heliads @candywh0r3 @caplanreads

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[heliads]

A Happy Death

Loving Jesper Fahey is not something that should feel complacent or forgettable, but for some reason, that's exactly what it is right now.

masterlist

It is half past nine bells, and Jesper has yet to visit you. This by itself is not enough to damn him, not completely, but today is the anniversary of the first time he ever took you out on a date and he has yet to say a thing about it. You have been waiting for him to do something, anything, to indicate that he has not forgotten you completely, but. Your door still goes unknocked, and the hours only tick by.

He’s out in the city somewhere, you think, finding his reflection on the other side of a glass of spirits or hanging on for one more round of Makker’s Wheel. Wherever he is, it is enough to entertain him for quite a long time, and enough to make him forget about you.

You didn’t want to be like this on your anniversary– sad, empty, riddled with heartache– or on any other day. You’re not a native of the Barrel, weren’t born among its smoky chimneys or bloody alleyways, so you’re not prone to the heartlessness that most residents of Ketterdam can wear like the pinnacle of fashion. You still weave your emotions into everything you do, a shameful habit that today, at least, is teaching you that you must end sooner rather than later.

The problem is that you don't have to disguise your true emotions, not always. Jesper liked that best about you, actually. Said he’d never met someone so real in all his life. Now he’s the one off living life to the fullest, able to do whatever he wants on a whim, and you’re the one lying on your bed, trying to convince yourself that you’re fine, just fine. 

Jesper was one of the first people you met in Ketterdam, certainly one of the first friends you made. Your hometown was small and inconsequential, only able to constrain you and make you feel like you’d never be enough. You ran the second you could, and the well-trodden dirt paths you were used to changed to the rainy pavement of the Barrel in the blink of an eye.

Some would say that was the worst mistake you could ever have made. Half the souls stuck in Ketterdam would have traded everything they had for the life you willingly left. Everyone left over after that would kill to stay on top. No one wants to be the thing in between, the wide-eyed creature with tattered suitcases and quickly fading ideals of what it would mean to be a new girl in a new city.

You ended up running with Brekker’s gang before long. It wasn’t the best, nothing was, but it kept you off the street and that seemed well enough for you. Kaz must have been feeling charitable when he took you in, because you’re mainly there for administrative work, fetching things or tallying sums or tasks that don’t involve blood and bone.

Jesper was there too, of course. He said he loved you from the start, but you don’t think that’s quite true. It took him about a week or so, once he’d seen you under the dim glow of dance hall lighting. You two were there on one of Kaz’s jobs, but the way Jesper smiled when he twirled you was nothing fabricated in the slightest.

And it had been good for a while there, after that. Jesper walked you home and picked you up the next night too, just because he could. He bought you drinks and brought you flowers. It was perfect, for a while, or as close to perfect as anything really gets around here.

The problem was when the relationship lost its novelty. Jesper is a wonderful gambler, excellent at always upping the ante, always risking the odds. He loved you at the start because you were someone new, someone exciting. It should have come as no surprise that he could move on just as quickly as he first found you.

He doesn’t do it out of any malevolent intention, you think. The blame does not lie with either of you, it just. Is. It’s something you can’t change any more than him. We all wear out eventually, our pictures gather dust, and at some point you look around and realize that things have lost the spark they had at the beginning, that you’ve been going through life in the comfort of repetition. Love is not a task to be completed, but that’s what it feels like now.

It hurts, obviously. Everything does. You moved to Ketterdam because you wanted a shock to your system, a thunderous rush of blood to your head. You wanted something different, and you got it, but now everything is slipping back to the same sort of nothingness you’d had before. It is terrible that this feeling could follow you all the way from home and still have your name written all over it. It is awful, that this could only ever be your path to follow, no matter how badly you try to stray.

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that there is a young girl growing up with no one around to truly need her, and that she is you. Imagine that she makes up her mind to move somewhere far away as soon as she’s able, so that her family can spend their time looking for her, not just away, never away. Imagine that she moves to Ketterdam and finally meets a boy that truly pays attention to her, how much of a marvel that must be. 

Imagine that boy is Jesper, and one day, he stops looking. You cannot imagine what to do next. You cannot imagine that it would happen again. You must, though. You must decide how to live without him here beside you.

It’s been exactly six months since you first started dating. No one thought it would last that long; things around here rarely do. If you’re lucky, you can hold onto something for a few weeks, maybe even a month or two. This was something else, something better. You used to think that it’s because you and Jesper were destined for each other, something like eternity, but now it just feels like monotony, and one that neither of you want.

Jesper used to celebrate every anniversary. He gave you flowers after a day, took you out dancing after a week, kissed you at a festival after one month. He once promised you that he’d bring you the very Saints to bless you once six months had passed, but that was at the start, and now you’re staring at the ceiling of your empty room and wondering how you could have possibly strayed so far from what you’d had.

This is not the end. Not yet. We only ever realize we’re in the final steps of some dance when the music has started slowing down. Your little turn about the music box is not over yet. There are still beats left, even as your rotations grow less and less frequent. You still have time until the lid snaps shut and plunges you into darkness once more, although it feels as if the minutes are running out faster than you can count.

Eventually, you give up and go to sleep. It is not a deep sleep, this; you’re awoken by every single pair of boots that thuds down the stairs of the Slat, just in case it’s Jesper come to apologize for being out so late.

He doesn’t come. It is crushing. You wake up the next morning, feeling significantly worse for wear, and he is– fine, actually, he’s fine, laughing with a bunch of his friends in the corner of the room about the crazy night they’d had. He looks up briefly to raise a hand when you emerge from the stairs, but goes back to the conversation just as quickly. Saints.

A hand on your elbow; you whip around to see Inej Ghafa, Ketterdam’s resident mirage. She’s managed to get the slip on you again, appearing out of nowhere to regard you with her cautious dark eyes.

“Is everything alright?” She asks quietly.

Were it anyone else, you’d brush it off, come up with some lie about how you’re just great. Inej knows everything, though. She probably heard you pacing late last night, waiting for someone who would never come.

“No,” you admit, and Inej’s lips purse.

“Jesper?”

You nod to acknowledge her question. “He forgot our anniversary. It was only six months, but still. It hurts.”

Inej casts a glare at the corner of the room where Jesper is still crowing over how he’d managed to win a particularly dangerous round of cards against men who all wanted him dead. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

You sigh. “At this rate, I don’t think I deserve him. If I was worth it, he’d stay around, right?”

Inej’s gaze is sad, and you can’t quite meet it. “Y/N, you know that’s not true. Talk to him, please. Jesper is probably just distracted, I swear he’ll come around if you just tell him how you feel.”

You want to tell her that the problem is that you were a distraction from his real life, not that anything happening in Jesper’s life is a distraction from you, but Inej has her own problems and you can’t ask her to play relationship counselor any more than she already is. You muster up a weak smile and thank her for the chat, then go to work like it’ll make you feel any better.

You do get your revenge in some small way. Usually, you and Jesper meet up for lunch, or if not that then at least once before the day is up. This time, though, you mind your own business, and go out of your way not to run into him. You’re not sure that you could stomach the sight of him so happy, so utterly unaware that he’s giving up on you.

Without you making a conscious choice to seek him out, you actually end up passing a few days before Jesper finds you. You were almost starting to think that he’d give up entirely, but no; four days pass since the morning after your forgotten anniversary and Jesper corners you at the Crow Club. You should have known better than to show up, really, but you were just stopping by for a quick drink and it slipped your mind.

Scarcely had you settled at one of the stools lining the bar when Jesper appeared by your side, one eyebrow raised expectantly. “Would you like to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to guess at it myself?”

“Hello to you too,” you say with a sigh.

Jesper groans. “Don’t give me that. I’m trying to be nice but you’ve been avoiding me, don’t try to deny it. Can you just tell me what I did wrong so I can apologize and we can move on?”

His wording irks you. He’s acting like you’re some kind of puzzle to be solved, a temporary issue that he can handle and then subsequently ignored. You don’t want to be ignored, though. Not again.

“Our six month anniversary was earlier this week,” you say simply.

It’s all that Jesper needs to be reminded of what he’s forgotten. He winces in pain, then turns back to you, the perfect picture of apology. “Saints, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear–”

You cut him off, voice blank. “How?”

Jesper blinks at you. “What do you mean?”

You gesture loosely at him. “How are you going to make it up? Are you going to remember the next anniversary? Are you going to pay me a single shred of attention unless I have to fight to get it?”

“Y/N,” Jesper says desperately, “I messed up, I know that, but it won’t happen again. You’re my whole world, I would never do this on purpose. You have to realize that.”

You tilt your head to the side, considering what he’s said. “I was your whole world. I don’t know if I am anymore. I love you, Jesper, more than anything, but I don’t want to keep being on the sidelines of every great thing you do. I’m counting down the days until you forget about me for good. How long do I have left, Jes? How long until I blend into the background and I’m no longer unusual or interesting enough to catch your eye? What will you do when I’m no longer a bet that calls your focus or a gamble worth the odds?”

Your breath is heaving in your chest, but it feels good to say every single word. “I loved being your favorite,” you continue in a whisper, “but I don’t think I am anymore.”

Jesper’s eyes are wide and terrified. He thinks he’s going to lose you, you realize. You don’t know if he already has or not. “I was wrong,” he says slowly, “wrong to make you feel like you were anything but my priority. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, not if I’ve been making you feel like this, but– Y/N, I love you. Really, I do. Let me try to show it again.”

He’s taken your hand, his own fingers trembling as he links them with yours. You look at him and you realize that he’s being genuine. A pause, then:  “Alright, Jesper. One more chance.”

Jesper’s smile is back on his face in a flash. “You mean it?”

“Yes,” you say with a laugh, “I do. I don’t want to leave you. That’s the whole reason I was so upset.”

“It’ll never happen again,” he promises.

You watch your face as he smiles back at you. His gaze is centered on you, pleased and happy, but there’s something else there, hidden in the back of his eyes. Relief, yes, but more than that– complacency. An expectation that the normal roles have been followed. He did not really think that anything else would happen, even though it terrified him that he had come so close to losing you. 

So you sit there, let him buy you another drink, and you think to yourself:  what is the line, and how do you know when he crosses it? How will you let him come crawling back to you when he does? That is the worst part of love, you suppose, how you would fight for it even after it died.

Looking over at Jesper, though, how he stares at you like the rising sun, you think you’d let him kill you anyway. It’s a worthy death. Perhaps that is why you let him stay each and every time.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey imagines #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #grishaverse jesper #grishaverse jesper imagines #grishaverse jesper x reader #grishaverse jesper oneshot #jesper #jesper imagines #jesper x reader #jesper oneshot

[w1shes43]

Bling to the Ring [J.F]

Jesper Fahey x fem!reader

Summary: Fake marriage, you're already dating, but the place you're going to go on a heist allows only allows a specific married couple.

Taglist: @heliads

A/N: This took forever, but I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

----☆----

The sound of loud gunshots being fired off in the distance never seemed to faze you. You have lived in Ketterdam for a long time, and that sound is like hearing your everyday schoolbell.

And it definitely helps that a certain sharpshooter is always doing that. Practising his aim, twirling his pearl handled revolvers any time he has the chance. You've become immune to the sound at this point.

Walking down the dimly litted streets, you find yourself strangely calm. You don't know why. Perhaps this is one of your good days, but usually, this means something bad is about to go down. You shrug of all thought of that and walk into the Barrel.

You find yourself scanning the area to look for a certain sharpshooter. You find him at a table in the corner with a drink in his hand. To everyone but the keen eye, it looked as if he was just enjoying his drink, but at close inspection, he was holding his revolvers, ready to shoot at any given moment.

You were debating whether or not to suprise him and see how that would go, but you concluded that wouldn't go so well. You walked towards him, with a small smirk on your face, and sat across of him.

He looked up and locked eyes with you. You could see that he instantly calmed down and loosened up

"Thought you'd be playing cards over on the other table, but seems you've chose a more calm evening, eh?" You joked as you pointed to the drink in his hand. He chuckled and passed it to you, and you took a sip.

He pretended to ponder for a bit and then answered, "Decided to wait for my girlfriend, you know? Didn't want to start anything fun without her. It would be too inconsiderate."

"Well, I'm sure she is thankful Jes." You laughed, putting down the drink to hold his hand.

Over the past few months that you've been together with Jesper were the happiest you've ever been. He always seemed to make you laugh at any given moment and never forgot to include you in heists or anything under the sun.

After chatting along to various topics with Jesper, in your peripheral vision, you saw Inej walking swiftly towards you. You turned your head to greet her, and she nodded your way.

"Sorry to interrupt your moment, but Kaz wants us upstairs in his office." She said, smiling at the both of you and left as quickly as she came.

"She did interrupt our moment, but I didn't want to mention it. She might stab me in my sleep." Jesper gulped but quickly replaced it with a wholehearted laugh. You just rolled your eyes and shook your head with a small smile. He stood up and offered you his arm, you gladly took it.

At Kaz's office, he explained to the three of you that he planned a heist. The reward would be a lot of kruge. Kaz said this information first with a small smirk. He mentioned it being in a huge vault at a heavily guarded place. Only a few people are allowed in, and it's the people who added kruge to the vault.

The catch is that the people who built it only know that it was a married couple who added kruge to the vault. According to Kaz's source, they don't know what the married couple look like but do know their names.

Clearly, he expected you and Jesper to work on this as the "married couple." Inej would sneak in and take out some of the guards to clear your path of entry. But not before you pass the gates with security checks, Kaz made sure to enter you both into the system.

You got yourself prepared before going on the heist. Memorising the names and backstories just in case you were asked, you can only hope Jesper remembered his, too.

You were waiting out on the balcony, listening to the calm, quiet night before you, just hoping everything would go well for the heist. While in thought, you heard footsteps behind you. You knew who it was so you didn't bother turning around and instead answered out loud.

"Hey Jes. You ready?" You asked, turning around and leaning your back on the railings.

"Me? Not ready? Please, do you know me?" He pointed at himself with a smile, "I'm always ready." He laughed and went to lean beside you on the railings. "You doing alright there, love?"

You nodded, "Just hoping this will go well. It usually does, but I just want you to be safe."

He gazed at you intently and pulled you into a hug. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as he spoke, "Come on, we can do this Y/N, we always have." He pulled apart slightly but kept one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek, "Don't back out on me now, darling." He winked, and his actions easily made you to form a smile.

The place where the vault was kept was this mansion like building. The vault was kept underground, so the building on top was just for show or more like security. Trees overlapping the entryway to the building, and layers of gates and guards surrounded the place.

You and Jesper stood to the side, hiding behind a tree right before you entered.

"Ok, about more than a dozen or so guards guarding the front gate." You said, and Jesper nodded. "Stay calm, and it'll all go smoothly."

"My dear wife, let's go get that kruge."

Taking a deep breath, you both walked together to the front gate. You examined the area and saw only a few other people, probably rich people, stuffed with tons of money at their fingertips. The guards asked for identification and checked their names in the system of more paperwork.

When it went to you two, Jesper gave the identification papers, and the guard checked it. He looked at both of you cautiously and you could sense the suspicion.

"We're older than we look," Jesper chuckled, "My wife and I have... uh ... just been eating healthy. For the 34 years we've been together!" You both smiled through the awkwardness and hoped that the guard wouldn't suspect anything.

He gave you both one more glance but nodded, smiled, and handed back the papers. You both thanked the guard and quickly went through the gate. You let out a breath you didn't realise you've been holding in. Well, that's stage one complete, you thought.

Walking past the other gates was a piece of cake after that. Inside the building was less security, so there was less interrogation. It was a huge hall with lots of stairs going up, but what the way down was what you were looking for.

Blending in with the crowd, you and Jesper managed to get down the stairs of the building. Walking past the guards and into the vault room. It was well lit and huge corridor, rows of big vault doors on either side, but they weren't important. The important one you were after was the one with the green vault door, now that had the cheddar. That was at the very end of the corridor, aka the biggest vault there.

Earlier, Kaz had told you that the vault had a pass code but also a word identification. You looked around, and it was surprisingly quiet. You thought there would be at least a few guards, but none? You turned to Jesper, and he was already looking at you, all written on his face the exact same confusion you had.

"Maybe they went for a coffee break?" He laughed, nudging you along to follow him towards the vault.

"Sure and leave the vaults with more than a million kruge unguarded? It seems a bit off to me." Inquiring as you scanned around once more, while Jesper punched in the passcode and word identification.

A hissing sound was made as the passcode punched in caused the vault doors to open. You both glanced at each other eagerly and looked back to see what you had been waiting for. The vault doors opened and you expected to see stacks upon stacks of money.

Instead, you were greeted with two faces, the faces of the couple you were impersonating.

"Who are you, and how did you know the passcode to the vault?" The shorter woman shouted as the man beside her, assuming her husband started to come closer to the both of you, drawing a gun from his right pocket.

"Well, this is awkward," you said worryingly, "perhaps we should start running if we want to not get shot." Starting to take off in the opposite direction back up the stairs.

"Yeahh, good plan. I'll cover fire for us." Jesper said, The man started shooting at both of you, and Jesper shot back with his revolvers.

Suddenly, the alarm was set off, and you knew this was a mess. You could hear lots of footsteps and people shouting to either get out of the way or that they went this way.

You turned a corner instead of going to the stairs, which was your original plan, and went down towards the basement instead. Jesper was still shooting at some guards behind you. You saw an elevator down the hall, which would lead to the back of the building, your escape.

Jesper pulled you into a room, well, it turned out to be a closet. It was dark and stuffy, and the only light source was from the small window above the both of you. Brooms and dust pans were brushing up against you, and you were trying to wriggle out of the small space.

You could hear the guards running past, calling out to find out where you and Jesper were. It is literally the most cliche place to find the robbers, but you were glad they didn't think of it.

"Right, well, I'm not sure how we ended up like this. I'm not complaining though, got a great view from this angle." Although it was a bit dark, you could make out the outline of his smug grin.

"Jesper, as much as I love you, I would really like if we were able to live through this."

"Don't worry, I promise you, you won't get hurt. I won't let you get hurt. In fact, if anyone lays a hand on you I'll-" You cut him off with putting a hand over his mouth as a shadow of a guard was near the door. You hoped he wouldn't open it, and you thought he was about to until you heard the other guards call him over.

You lowered your hand from his mouth and let out a sigh, but Jesper quickly took your hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "Couldn't let that opportunity go to waste." He winked, "I think the coast is clear we should be able to go now."

You swear this man always wants to give you butterflies every chance he can get. But you can't deny that you do enjoy it.

He opens the doors carefully, and you both make a run for the elevator on the left. Running as fast as you both could go, and this reminded you of your very first heist. It didn't go as planned, but you still enjoyed the adrenaline from it, maybe because you were with Jesper or because you enjoyed the feeling of knowing you'll stay alive at the brink of death.

As you entered the elevator, you pressed the buttons to the back of the building. The elevator wasn't a normal one. It could go all different sides if it wished. The owner of the building thought it would be useful to use to go whenever and wherever he wanted in the building.

You waited impatiently for the doors to close and stood at the side of the elevator while Jesper stood on the left side. Inej is supposed to meet you back outside at the back of the building, with the money, which you don't have.

You rubbed a hand over your face, annoyed. Well, there goes your chance of joy with bathing in some kruge. As if you'd get most of it anyway, Kaz would probably take most of it, to be honest.

Just as the doors were about to shut, you heard something you never knew would frighten you until now. A deafening noise of shock and horror that would twist your stomach into tight knots that would almost make it snap into two. The scene of crimson red blood slowly showing up.

The bullet came at the speed of light, and both of you never expected it. The sound deafened your ears and and everything was blocked out. A ringing covered your ears as you looked over at Jesper, whose normally grey shirt now started flooding with red.

"Well, this was definitely unexpected." He tried to make a joke and chuckle, but he collapsed onto the ground. With shaky knees, you rushed towards him, worry scanning all over your face, and even your eyes started to water.

The doors were closed, and the elevator started moving to the back. You checked him, and thank saints he wasn't shot in the heart, but it was dreadfully close, leave it untreated for too long, and he would die. You rushed to take off the jumper you had on and wrapped it tight around his chest to try stop the bleeding.

"Jes, you're going to be okay, I promise." You tried to reassure him, but honestly, you weren't sure yourself how much time was left.

"I can't die. I'm too amazing," he laughed painfully, so you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. At this point, you're hoping the elevator moves fast to get him to safety.

"Y/N, I'm serious if anything happens to me. I just need you to know -" he started to speak, but you cut him off. "Jes, please, stop.. I need you to be safe. You're going to be okay." You looked around, hoping that Inej would be here soon to help both of you.

The elevator stopped, and you were now at the back of the building. You helped Jesper up, slinging one of his arms around your shoulder to help carry his weight. And you tried your hardest not to lean too much pressure, so he wouldn't hurt as much. You heard more voices, that of guards, and you both knew it would only a matter of time before they get to you and Jesper.

You tried to hurry to hide behind the old shed on the right side, but you weren't fast enough. And Jesper was getting worse by the minute. You didn't know what was going to happen next. All you saw were guards with flashlights running from your left towards you. And you tried to stop them by pulling out one of Jespers' guns, but suddenly, you felt something sharp hit your leg.

You looked down to see a dart of some type. It was one of those darts that can knock you out flat in just a bit. And you looked back up to Jesper, and he knew you wouldn't be able to carry him up for much longer. He grabbed the gun from your hand and started shooting at the rest of the guards who were armed. You felt dizzy, and you tried to stay awake and keep your balance. You couldn't just leave Jesper by himself. You needed him to be alive more than yourself right now.

Right before your unconsciousness' desire to take over won, you saw a figure taking out the guards and helping Jesper up. And this figure went towards you too, and you tried to get a better look at their face, but the sleep took over.

...

Dark. That was it. All you could sense was your unconsciousness. The feeling of falling asleep but not on purpose. You felt something down in the deep darkness, some hope, some light. Some hope that everything is going to be fine, and you wanted that.

You wanted that so much that nothing mattered anymore except that you wanted everything to be fine, go back to messing around with your friends, be in Ketterdam safe and sound. And what you wanted the most was for your Jesper to be safe and sound.

So you moved. You moved towards the hope. The shining brightness that you so wish to achieve.

You opened your eyes and realised you were in a room, not on the ground outside. But in your room, your bed. You peered around, the light stinging your eyes a bit, but after a while, it adjusted.

Suddenly, you're hit with memories of what happened earlier. You were taken back to The Barrel, but by who? Maybe that mysterious figure was someone you knew?

But right now, that didn't matter. You needed to find Jesper. You needed to know if he was ok and safe. You ran out of your room, hoping to find him.

Suddenly, you bumped into something, or actually someone. This figure turned around, and it was Inej. You gasped in relief and hugged her, she returned it and you had to ask.

"Inej, what happened? I blacked out. Where is Jesper? Is he ok? And-"

"Y/N. Calm down. Everything is fine, Jesper is in his room," You were about to say something, but she cut you off knowing what you were about to ask, "Recovering. And yes, he is fine. You can go see him."

You thanked Inej and quickly made your way to Jesper's room. You took a deep breath and opened the door, and there he was sitting against the headboard of the bed. He had bandages wrapped all over his chest, torso, and arms. It took you a minute to register that he was really ok and alive, and when you both made eye contact, you broke down.

You staggered over to him and hugged him so tight. You never ever wanted to let him go. Your eyes flooded with tears as they ran down your cheek, soaking through his bandages, he returned your hug and kissed your forehead.

"I'm so sorry! I knew something like this was going to happen, and I-" you bawled out into his chest, but he stopped you, taking your face with both of his hands gently and looking you in your eyes.

"Hey! Hey, calm down. It's ok, it's over. I'm here, I'm here with you," he wiped your tears with his thumbs, "right now."

Tracing his thumb over a scratch you had on your face from the heist, he clicked his tongue in annoyance, "I'm gonna get those guys back for hurting you."

"Me? I should be getting them for what they did to you. You're in bandages, love."

"Eh, it's nothing I can't take." He chuckled, "But I do need one thing from you that will make it all better." He whispered, and you knew exactly what he meant as you leaned in towards him.

A kiss was all it took to heal the sharpshooter. He smiled into the kiss because he knew now that he loved you more than ever. And you would always be there for each other, knowing that in his heart was everything to him.

Pulling away, he took the palm of your hand and kissed it, turning it over and looking directly on the ring finger. Rubbing a thumb over it, he pondered for a bit and then looked into your loving eyes.

"I should really add a real ring to that finger now, shouldn't I?"

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #six of crows #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #six of crows oneshot #grishaverse jesper #grishaverse jesper x reader #grishaverse jesper imagines #grishaverse jesper oneshot #w1shes43 fics

[xalicitie]

Unwarranted Thoughts — Kaz Brekker (smut)

You’re a new member of Kaz’s gang of crows. You and your boss share a cryptic relationship which neither of you seem to understand how to approach, but within one night in which you attend to a dire wound Kaz receives in battle, the two of you discover your true feelings for each other.

This is only the first half of the story, I’m posting this to see if it actually gets any attention and whether I really want to post it cause I’ve never actually posted smut in my life. If it gets enough response I’ll post part 2

"Sit down here."

Kaz had a hand pressed tautly against the detrimental wound pulsating at his ribcage; blood was melting through his clothes as he stumbled into the seat. You were beginning to hurriedly gather the loosely placed medical supplies along the countertops—scrambling, to say the least. It was rare for Kaz to get injured in battle like this in battle, it sparked a panic hotter than Hell in your chest.

"You're bleeding badly." You said as you placed your hands under the running water of the sink. "Take your shirt off."

Kaz, without a word, followed your orders. Although the command did catch him off guard, he followed through without a thought.

Fleetingly, you rinsed your hands and dried them, then sped to Kaz's side, spilling all kinds of tools onto the table adjacent.

Upon facing back to your boss, It took you quite the moment to realize that he was already shirtless. The shame at your involuntarily wandering eyes set in quickly as you turned your focus to his wound.

It was nasty. A successful sword strike—any further into his core and you might've not been able to fix him up in time.

"How the hell did you get this?" You asked, splitting the silence as you grabbed a large cloth.

"I was caught off guard. Stupid bandits pulled an ambush." You quirked a brow, hoping to distract him as you readied the cloth before the wound. His chest heaved, and you just couldn't seem to decipher whether your thundering heartbeat was due to the direness of the situation or the picture of Kaz Brekker shirtless.

You scolded yourself for even considering such a thing at such a moment.

"Ready yourself. I'm going to apply pressure to the wound." You warned.

"Hurry up and get it over with." He said with a low voice.

You did just that. The moment you enforced pressure onto his side, he breathed a pained groan, eyebrows furrowed as his hands clasped the side of the chair. You tried not to think at all as you continued to try and stop the bleeding.

After such treacherous few minutes, you pulled the cloth, dripping with Kaz's blood—a grotesque sight—to see his wound had just barely stopped producing blood.

"Okay, stay with me." You looked up to your boss to see a tired, pained expression. You could see his unwillingness to completely show you that he was suffering just threading his mien, but the pain seemed to be just enough to tear through most of his armor. "Are you okay?" You asked.

"Yes. Fine." He spat quickly, harshly. "Just, keep on going."

Throughout the whole process of healing his wound, all during it you never seemed to get habituated to the sight of his bare chest. You never thought you'd live to see him so vulnerable, it was certainly novel, to say the least.

Still, you completely forced denial unto your filthy thoughts. Even if they lingered there, watching his muscles heave and move with his breaths, the twitch of his face at the pain, you told yourself they did not exist. You scolded to yourself that it was shameful to conjure up such nasty thoughts at a time like this.

"Okay." You concluded after such tense silence. The wound was cleaned and ready to be covered, and Kaz was still alive. Thank the Saints.

"Can you sit up?" You asked, and Kaz nodded. You were just about to lend a hand before he starting grudgingly lifting himself up on his own. You knew he wouldn't accept your help.

Every rise of his chest, the more your thoughts roused and resisted being denied. The more your heartbeat gained acclimation again, your lips parting, watching as his brunette hair fell before his face, eyes hidden in a shadow, only the lightest of his blue eyes apparent. You knew the look of him right now would be stuck in your mind for the coming weeks.

If Kaz saw you right now, oh you didn't dare let him get a peak of your disorientation right now. You spoke quickly to hide your adoring face. "Hold still. This is going to take a second."

With a muttered "mhm", you kneeled down before him to get closer to his wound.

You were so utterly sinful. As you wrapped the linen bandage around his waist, each little contiguity, each little brush of the skin brought you filthier thoughts. You grasped for control, and just barely—after a torturously long moment—you fixed the bandage around his wound.

"Okay, you're good." You said with finality. Kaz nodded at you, and the moment you thought it was over you began putting the supplies away. You wanted get as far away from this little crush on your newly appointed boss as possible.

"Y/n." You froze and turned back to Kaz at the sound of your name, now finally donned in his vest again. "You've been hurt, too."

His eyes led you to the cut that had been bothering you for awhile. It was just at you lower side, sitting just below your breast.

"Oh, it's..nothing." You brushed off, hoping to settle for some good rest. You began to walk back over to the supplies when Kaz called for you once more.

"Don't think you're leaving here without that being properly bandaged." Oh, Saints. "It could get infected."

There was no way out of this. You sighed audibly, relenting at his wish, more so command.

You sauntered slowly over to the chair as Kaz leisurely climbed out of it, allowing you to sit atop, as he just had done before. Kaz began again gathering the supplies while you sat, wary of what was to come. The cut was placed at a certainly tricky place.

Moments passed and he had the supplies together. His gaze fell upon your apprehensive one. You felt yourself tense at his undivided attention. "Lift up your shirt."

Your lips fell agape at the sudden words. Breathing pattern hectic once again, you followed through with his command just somehow.

Kaz slowly walked over to you. He held a wet cloth in his gloved hand, and as he approached, the air between the two of you thickened so much you felt it, each inch, as it sat between you and your boss. You were absolutely disheveled, eyes not knowing where to look.

The sensation of the cloth hitting your cut made you cringe and seethe out a strained breath. You heard his breaths, each one, one after the other, as he scrutinized you.

..You were so close.

The silence was grating and horribly tense.

You and Kaz looked at each other, and for a moment it seemed he were having the same thoughts.

Then, as each one of your filthy dreams went, you watched in utter disbelief as Kaz Brekker leaned his head in towards yours. As his unoccupied, right, gloved hand traveled towards the nave of your neck, you melting below him, moving towards him meekly. Still with no idea what was happening.

Yours and Kaz's lips hovered not even an inch before each other, both your eyes closed, relishing in the moment. Your chest fell and rose, cheeks burning, everything ablaze.

Is this a dream?

Part 2 is up!

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker smut #kaz brekker fanfiction #six of crows #shadow and bone #freddy carter #kanej #kaz brekker oneshot #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #kaz dirtyhands brekker #crooked kingdom #fanfiction #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you

[barrel-crow-n]

Sitting in bed doing nothing as if I don't have a multi chapter fic to cowrite, two flirt!Kaz fics waiting in my notes app, a show canon divergence au where Kaz performs magic to get into Os Alta with the troupe to plan, a dad!Kaz fic where Kaz adopts a little girl off the streets of the Barrel to continue planning, a pre-canon prison fic to start, and a heart-to-heart Kaz&Jesper fic plan to continue working on.

#i have so many wips #most of those are oneshots #because multichapters scare the crap out of me #but one of the flirt!kaz ones is a 5+1 #so six chapters #six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows duology #soc #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #soc fanfic #six of crows fanfic

[restinslices]

Mortality

Jesper Fahey x Spouse (no gender specified) Word count: 2150 Summary: You and Jesper aged differently. You aged as any Otkazat’sya did. Jesper on the other hand is Grisha and ages much slower. As your mortality gets closer and closer, you and Jesper have a much needed talk. Wrote this on my phone at midnight😀

People could say a lot of negative things about Jesper Fahey. 

He was a shit gambler, a flirt, a drunk, he didn't think, he could be selfish at times, he could give you a headache with one sentence, among other things that could make anyone go in the opposite direction. 

But it was impossible to say he wasn't loving. Jesper held onto people and treated everyone like family, even when there were conflicts. There were plenty of times when you and Jesper would have a disagreement, yet he still looked at you like he'd both die and kill for you. Jesper could sometimes make promises he'd easily break for the right price. The promises he made to you though? There was no card game, no shiny gun, no heist, no amount of cash that could make him turn on you. 

Jesper supposed that's how he got himself to where he was now and honestly? He wasn't sure he liked it. 

Was it selfish to say apart of him wished you two never became something more or maybe that he never met you? Was it selfish to look at your aging body and wish he walked away and stayed away after The Ice Court heist? Maybe. He wasn't sure he cared though. 

Aging gave him a tap on the shoulder, but aging slammed into you. That didn't mean you were unattractive in his eyes, it just meant your body felt the stings of aging. Bad knees, hips, shoulder pains, wrinkles, all that was normal and expected. Jesper practically looked the same as he did when you two met. You were closer to death but he felt like the true ghost; forever stuck in a single moment. No changes to himself, only to his environment and the people around him. 

Or maybe even a time loop, but only for himself. Everyone else was free and moved on. Not him though. 

Jesper didn't realize he was staring until you said something, 

“A penny for your thoughts?”. 

“What?”

“You're staring”

“Oh” Jesper said with realization, “an accident”. Partially true. 

He smoothed out the blankets in front of him to distract himself but that worked as well as anyone would imagine. Your face was imprinted on his mind, and although Jesper could've just laid down and went straight to sleep, he knew it'd be all he'd see when he closed his eyes. 

Jesper heard you close and set your book down, then felt your eyes on him. 

“What're you doing?”

“Smoothing these blankets. They're quite wrinkly”

“Why?”

“Why? Why does anyone do anything?”

You sighed, “why won't you look at me?”

“I'm getting rid of the wrinkles on this blanket like I said”

“Because you can't get rid of mine?”. Jesper's hands stopped moving and he finally looked at you and another wave of sorrow hit him. Why did your inevitable death hit him so hard? 

Maybe it was because you were the last one left. 

Kaz, Inej, Wylan, Matthias, they were all gone by now. Matthias’ death was the first hit he received since his mom passed and as time went on the rest of his family, even if not by blood, passed on. Sure, he had Nina but Nina’s home was Ravka. Nina was more often busy than not and she was not the fondest of Kerch. Many times you suggested moving to Ravka for a “change of scenery”. He knew the truth though. You wanted him to get used to living somewhere else so he could be closer to Nina and not alone. You were the last consistent thing attached to his younger life and by some twist of fate, he'd be doomed to outlive majority of the people he met. He wondered if he did something awful in a past life to deserve this. 

“You've gone quiet again Jes”

He shook his head. “I don't know what to say”

“Too much on your brain? Don't know how to get it out?”. He assumed you took his silence as an answer because next you said “just say whatever, even if it doesn't make sense”. 

He took a deep breath then. It's not like you two hasn't talked about this before, but it was usually a small conversation that he'd slip his way out of with some dumb excuse. 

“I have something to do”. “I'm tired”. “Let's go eat”. “I have to go write a letter”. The list went on and on. This time though he couldn't think of an excuse and with limited time, he knew he had to speak to your living body now instead of a tombstone. 

“I don't think I'm ready to do this without you”

“Do what?”

“Live”. It came out breathy and quiet. He could tell he had upset you by how deep your frown was. Or maybe that was another sign of aging. He couldn't tell. 

“I can't do it”. 

“Yes you can”

“I can't”

“Jesper Fahey you can break into a Fjerdan Ice Court, escape, survive months at sea with Kaz Brekker, go toe to toe with every gang in Ketterdam and you still use the words 'I can't’?”. In any other circumstance he would've laughed and made some comment about how amazing he is. He didn't this time though. Nothing really felt enjoyable or funny anymore. Not when you could have some attack at any moment and be gone. 

“You're beautiful,” he said. “Absolutely stunning. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you”

“There's the stars and sea yet I’m the most beautiful thing you've seen?”. 

He nodded. “Absolutely”. 

“Is that why you're with me then? My charming looks?”

“You could look like all things wrong with the world and I'd still want you”

“Jesper the poet? I think I like it”. Your fragile hand held his and your eyes locked onto his. “You can live without me-”

“I can't”. The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep away finally slipped. He didn't bother wiping them away, too scared to let go of your hand. “I wanna be able to but I can't”

“Why?”. 

“Why?”, he  repeated. “I just can't”. 

Your thumb rubbing over his hand soothed him for a moment, but only a moment. That calmness died when you spoke again. 

“If this is hard for you, you can go. You don't have to see me like this”

“Where would I go?”, he asked with furrowed brows and a mix of hurt and confusion etched on his face. 

You shrugged. “Ravka maybe? Make it your new home-”

“My home is here. With you”

“You'll have to find a new one when I go”. 

His hand slipped from yours, frustration building in his chest. It all sounded so easy but it was only easy because you were the one dying. You wouldn't have to feel another part of you ripped away. You wouldn't feel anything anymore. He would. 

He'd think about it almost everyday and a hole would form in his chest and pull him into this thick fog and within this fog he'd hear the future. He'd hear a heart monitor go flat. He'd hear your breathing become shallow before it eventually stopped. He'd hear his own crying. Yet you would come along and act as if everything was alright. You'd be calm and fine while he was breaking on the inside. 

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“What?”

“Jesper Fahey, I am going to die and there's nothing you can do about it”. 

“Stop”. 

But you didn't stop. You repeated it again and again and he thought he must've been hallucinating and finally reached his breaking point. He covered his ears but you grabbed his hands and intertwined your fingers with his. You opened your mouth but he cut you off with a broken voice. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you don't understand you can't control this”

“I understand fully” he said quickly. “That's the whole problem. Can you stop being calm and show some sort of emotion for once?”

“What do you want me to do? To cry? To think about it and stress myself to a migraine like you do everyday?”. He hated how you looked at him then; with pity. It felt like with one foot in the grave, you'd always use the other to stay near him and soothe him and it made him feel selfish. “You wanna know how I feel?”. He didn't answer but you continued anyway. “I am terrified of death. Faith exists to calm us of this fear but honestly, I'm still scared. I don't know what's next. I don't know how it'll feel. I don't know if I'll see a light or if I'll be in darkness. I don't know how I'll go out and I don't know how it'll feel to take my last breath. I'm terrified but worrying about it everyday? That's not living. I'll be on my deathbed slipping away and all I'll think about is how I should've lived more”

“You are so stressed about me dying but honestly Jes? You're just making yourself live through the inevitable every single day. We should be loving each other now more than ever when we have the time. We're gonna get to my final moments and we'll both have regrets, the only difference is you'll have to live with yours”. 

Jesper couldn't help but let tears fall from his eyes. He knew you were right and that he should be holding you close during this time, but he couldn't help but listen to the tiny voice in his head that drove him insane everyday. Everyday was a reminder that for some unknown reason, he'd live much longer. Years would pass and he'd forget your face and always have to look at pictures or letters to remember you. One day he'd even forget your voice. How long would that take? 10 years? 20? 30? 

The more he thought, the more his breathing became erratic and his vision blurred. Blinking away tears didn't work. They'd just come back. You guided his head to your shoulder before your hand found its way to his back to rub circles on it. Jesper wasn't known to cry, but he cried. Hard. And you let him. When his breathing returned to normal, it wasn't because he was no longer sad. It was because he was exhausted. His eyes and nose had gone red by now and his face felt incredibly sore. 

When he quieted down, you spoke again. “I want to love you while I still can but if you don't want to see what'll eventually happen… I’m… I'm willing to let you go”. It was hard for you to say. He could tell because of how quiet it came out. Were you willing to? Probably. Did you want to? Absolutely not. He didn't need to ask or look at you to know. 

Jesper had a big choice to make. He stayed, spent the rest of your life with you and eventually buried you or he could leave and try to get a jumpstart at a new life. He wouldn't see age continue to eat at you and when your time came, he wouldn't be there. He'd be leaving you alone. He probably wouldn't know exactly when you died. Years would pass and he'd just guess that you were gone. 

Jesper was ashamed of how long it took him to make a decision. Leaving seemed so good. The pain of watching you continue to grow old would be no more, but then he'd be left with another pain; the pain of never seeing you again. Of knowing he abandoned you when all you wanted was to hold him close. You had no family and no notable friends besides him and Nina now. You'd probably be found and with no one to identify you, who knew what would become of your body in Kerch. A body with no name. And he'd become a body with no home. 

“I'm not going anywhere”. He finally lifted his head up to look at you and although he still felt that pang in his heart, he didn't look away and try to avoid your gaze. He just looked at you, mapping every detail of your face so he could look back and remember just how beautiful you were when you're gone. 

“I am so going to miss you”

“Of course you will” you said with a small smile and you finally got a chuckle out of him, even if it was small. 

You didn't have forever. You both knew you were on limited time and one day you'd be apart, but you both promised to love and cherish the time you still had together and maybe, just maybe, you'd see each other in the next life when the sun finally set on the both of you. 

I am feral for this man in the most wholesome way possible. Legit just wanna hold his hand and hear him talk about dumb shit.

#shadow and bone #six of crows #crooked kingdom #six of crows imagine #six of crows jesper #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows x y/n #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #Jesper fahey one shot #Jesper fahey x y/n #Do not let this flop or istg- #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse

[egret-orchids]

for the love of language

Kaz Brekker was stubborn. When he had his mind set on doing something, he did it. No matter how difficult, no matter how simplistic. He wasn't sure what category 'learning his girlfriend's language' fell into.

Kaz lovingly and painstakingly learns precious few words in Suli just so that he can surprise his Wraith with them.

| AO3 | SOC Sideblog |

word count: 948

It wasn't an unknown fact amongst the Dregs and Crows that Kaz Brekker knew one language, and one language alone.

He was stubborn, and though his rough voice and the hints of an accent that stemmed from southern Kerch were normal for him, hearing him reciting words in Suli was... odd. Jesper recognised the language from the few times he'd heard Inej muttering the melodic syllables, although he suspected most of it was just curses and swears, much like Jesper's messy Kaelish.

Jesper didn't want to run the risk of Kaz murdering him for snooping, but he did regale this to Wylan over cups of tea in the merchling's basement workshop.

"I was just walking past- y'know, because he'd asked me to grab a map for a job, and I hear him mumbling in Suli." Jesper said, sighing dramatically. This elicited a small chuckle from Wylan, who sipped his tea and then replied; "I think he has some sort of plan. He's never bothered learning more than basic decencies in other languages, and even then they're not great in terms of pronunciation."

Jesper nodded. "He tried to say hello to my Da in Kaelish and I'm pretty sure he accidently insulted him." Even if the anecdotes his father told him weren't exactly true, Colm Fahey was probably justified in his distaste. Some words in Kaelish were similar to others, and a slight error in wording could lead a pleasant hello to turn into somebody's mother getting called a whore. And it was also Kaz, who would probably do something like that purposefully; fully aware of what he was doing yet still taking the chance to be an ass.

Wylan smiled at this. "Are you going to ask him about it?" he asked.

Jesper shook his head. "He'd probably break my arms and threaten to gut me and leave my intestines for the crows or something like that."

"It's Kaz, of course he'd say that..." Wylan laughed quietly.

"I certainly wouldn't put it past him." Inej said with a smile from the doorway, and Jesper nearly jumped out of his skin as Wylan waved to her with a small, shy grin on his face.

"Saints, Inej, do you have to do that every time?" Jesper complained, rolling his eyes fondly. Inej didn't reply, simply shrugging and stepping towards the two. She sat on Wylan's workbench and looked at both of them with mock-sternness.

"Kaz has a job for you two. Some merchant from Shu Han." Inej passed Jesper a small, folded slip of paper- Kaz's signature way of informing them all of jobs.

Jesper flicked the note open and cleared his throat. "Shu Han merchant ship docked in Second Harbour- Saints, it's like he doesn't want us around all day today- unloading into the Stadhall. Jesper has the map." he read aloud, and the way Wylan immediately hung on the gunslinger's every word with such affection in his eyes almost made Inej laugh aloud.

Wylan hummed in response. "So this merchant if working with somebody in the Merchant Council, then."

"Yeah, and he's obviously going to be..."

Inej slid off the table and walked away, leaving the other two conversing about Kaz's latest job. It didn't need her skills, and she had a feeling that Kaz wanted her nearby.

She pulled up her hood, opting to meet Kaz, wherever he was. She didn't bother climbing the rafters and jutting beams to get to the window or the roof of the building next door and have to climb around searching for him, not in this weather. Besides, she knew Kaz would either be in his office, or somewhere on the Zentsbridge.

As it turned out, Kaz was leaning on the bridge's railings, gazing into the murky grey-green of the canal. He didn't move as Inej's neared his left shoulder, but he did shift his bad leg slightly. "Hello, Inej. Don't you have a job you need to help out on?" he said quietly, though the slight smile in his voice betrayed his joking manner.

Inej breathed a laugh, leaning on the railing next to him, back to the canal. "I wanted to know what you were planning. You normally make sure I'm with Wylan and Jes just in case either of them get distracted, be it by each other of something else." she replied.

Kaz shrugged. "Who's to say I'm planning something?"

Inej rolled her eyes. "Kaz Brekker, do you need to be so stubborn?"

Kaz tilted his head, meeting her eyes. "No." he said simply. "But stubbornness got me where I am today, and it got you out of the Menagerie, didn't it?"

"My stubbornness or your stubbornness?" Inej chuckled.

Kaz didn't reply at first; instead he moved away from the bridge's railing, and turned to face Inej, face almost expressionless but his eyes were less cold then they normally were.

"Volim te." he whispered, just enough for Inej to hear.

She swore her heart stopped beating for a solid five seconds when he said that.

It was a known fact that Kaz Brekker, that Dirtyhands knew Kerch, and Kerch alone. His accent was southern, from somewhere like Lij, but his language was that of someone born and raised in Kerch.

My mother is Ketterdam, he'd said, she birthed me in the harbour.

"What?" Inej murmured, too surprised.

My father is profit. I honour him daily.

"Volim te." Kaz repeated, and Inej can't help but laugh.

"Your pronunciation is awful, Saints."

Kaz glared at her, but it wasn't serious.

Inej moved towards Kaz, about to hug him. She stopped. "May I?" she breathed.

Kaz nodded slowly, and Inej pulled him into a hug.

"I love you too, Kaz Brekker."

#egret.txt #egret's writing #six of crows #soc #six of crows duology #the crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #wylan x jesper #inej ghafa #kaz x inej #oneshot #kanej #kanej fic #wesper #suli as helped by google translate #colm fahey

[grey-pastels]

Names

Fandom: Six of Crows

pairing: platonic! Kaz brekker x reader

summary: reader is set on finding out what kaz' name is.

_________________________________________

It was ten bells and the night was just getting started. This might have been a quiet time in any place but not here,not in ketterdam,not in the barrell.

I was currently leading Jesper back to the crow club after having to basically pry the cards from his hands. I had found him in one of the gambling dens,as usual. And he was losing,as usual. Normally I would've just sat next to him,letting him do his thing. But tonight I wasn't in the mood for it. I really didn't want to deal with the speech Kaz would have about him losing all the money again. He would most certainly still hold one but I was just hoping it wouldn't take 10 minutes this time. As we entered the crow club I spotted him sitting in a dark corner,his corner. He glared at us, his usual unamused glare or maybe it was just how his face was stuck by now. When Jesper spotted him he immediately looked away and made a beeline for the bar. I did not. I walked towards him and sat down. I was waiting for him to speak,but of course he didn't. He was waiting for something. Maybe an apology or maybe a simple explanation. I would not give him that,not today. If he wanted it he could ask for it nicely and I might just comply.

"Fancy seeing you here,kazper" I said mockingly.

He was staring at me. He hated it. Ever since I joined the dregs, approximately 3 years ago I had started bothering him with these nicknames. To me it just seemed improbable for someone to name their kid Kaz. I have met jespers and even inejs before. Not many but they existed. So I have made it my goal to get his name. Not for the reason others might want it. I didn't want leverage on him or his past. I just wanted him,to know him. He was a walking mystery to everyone, but not to me. I have tried many names over the years. My personal favourites include kazzie, kazper and kazpian. He didn't show a hint of emotion other than annoyance when I said them so I presumed they weren't right.

He stood up and walked up the stairs. He walked rather fast despite his limp so I had a relatively hard time keeping up. He didn't say anything yet but that didn't stop me. I followed him to his room.  When I closed the door of his office he stood alarmingly close to me. Something Kaz never does. He seemed irritated,by me.

"Why are you so set on knowing my name?"

"Well for starters,kazstration. you know mine. You know me and I know you would never admit to it but i am the closest thing to a friend you have. I am aware inej and jesper are there too but it's different with us. Inej is your faith and jesper your- well actually I am not sure what he is to you"

" You are my crow, an investment. You all are. Not more nor less"

"I don't believe that"

He leaned his head to the side in disbelief. He always hated how stubborn and blunt I can be. I would never change it. It was one of my many talents to help annoy people, annoy him especially. When we first became acquaintances he had said " if you keep that up you won't survive long in the barrel and even shorter in the dregs" I simply smiled at him and continued with my day. Three years later I was still alive and he still disagreed with my ways.

"You are my family,kaz" he almost laughed at that. And  I realised what I had said. It wasnt the fact that I called him my brother, I meant that and I wasn't ashamed of it. But it was the first time I had called him kaz in years. I am not sure why I had done it but it felt right. I needed him to see I was serious and it wasn't another joke.

He kept quiet after that. I didn't expect him to say it back. I didn't need him to. I slightly pressed my palm against his shoulder,shoving him gently out of my way. I could hear his breath hitch for a second but he calmed himself rather fast. I was aware of his aversion to touch and I did my best to avoid physical contact. But now I just needed space and I didn't have the nerve to communicate it. Why would I need to speak my thoughts when he never does? I turned around and opened the door to leave. Before I fully shut it again I spoke up again. "You won't get rid of me, not of my energy either. And one day your gonna have to admit it. Speak the truth. Say that you like me around and perhaps admit it to her aswell,she isn't as patient as me with you and i dont blame her" I didn't need to speak her name, he knew. He always did. " I will see you tomorrow, Kazimir" he made a noise. I shut the door and I was sure I had it. I had his name. I had him.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kazzle dazzle #kaz rietveld #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #kaz #kaz brekker oneshot #oneshot #platonic reader #fanfic #fanfiction #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #kit young #freddy carter

[littlelcvestory]

60, wesper!!

hi rae ily

60. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to seduce me.

cw for suggestive content since they are in love, your honor (no smut!)

**disclaimer, i have no idea how business and merchant council stuff works so please ignore my sad attempts

—

Wylan had given up on hiding his yawns at least half an hour ago.

He loved Jesper’s voice, don’t get him wrong, he loved when he leaned into his ear either to whisper sweet nothings or make suggestive comments that ended with Wylan and Jesper tangled together in bed. But hearing ledger after ledger and document after document from the Merchant Council read to him for too long was enough to make Wylan sleepy.

Jesper stood across from his desk, pacing the room and flipping through the documents in his hand and reading off the printed and handwritten notes on them. 

“ ‘...Fifteen percent of assets need to be transferred from von Thunen’s estate to the Ketterdam Treasury, which are to be placed under the loans vault…’ ”

Wylan got out from his desk and crossed to the comfy armchair in the corner and sat as languidly as possible, setting his eyes on Jesper.

The amount of love Wylan had for the man in front of him was so immense that sometimes he felt like one of his bombs when he lit the fuse– so ready to explode. Wylan would lay down his life for Jesper. 

And now, he thought giddily, I’m going to marry him.

Jesper’s beautiful hands used to be decorated with an array of different rings, but since Wylan proposed to him a week ago (actually, Jesper had also proposed the same night Wylan did, which ended with them both laughing hysterically in his mother’s garden. Safe to say, they were the happiest men in Ketterdam that night) Jesper had removed all rings except for the emerald engagement ring he’d given him. Wylan’s was sapphire, Jesper’s Ma’s ring.

Looking at them made Wylan so unbelievably happy. He was going to marry the love of his life.

His fiancé looked up from the papers in his hand. Wylan held his gaze firmly, peering at him through his eyelashes.

“I’m listening,” Wylan said. 

He was not.

Jesper’s soothing baritone blessed his ears for another two minutes before Wylan grabbed Jesper’s left hand and kissed the ring on it. He held his hand gently, moving his lips to kiss each of his knuckles.

“...Shu Han has agreed to– oh.”

Wylan kissed his wrist. “Keep reading.”

He tried, to Wylan’s amazement, but his voice faltered and he cleared his throat when Wylan dragged his other hand up his leg, resting it at Jesper’s hip.

“Wylan.”

“Yes, love?”

The love in Jesper’s eyes was undeniable. Wylan looked up through his lashes again, staring at his fiancé with a small pout on his face.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to seduce me," Jesper said, affection lacing his words.

Wylan pulled the hem of Jesper’s shirt out of his trousers. “Is it working?”

“Saints, Wy,” he gasped when Wylan’s hands found the skin of Jesper’s waist. “Yes.”

Sleep had left Wylan and was instead replaced with pure desire. He leaned into Jesper’s ear, pulling him close, and lowered his voice. “And what are you going to do about it, Jes?”

Jesper’s weight buckled into him, the papers fluttering to the floor. Wylan laughed softly.

“What’re you gonna do, love?”

“I think,” Jesper breathed as Wylan touched his lips to the soft skin of his neck, “I’m going to take you to our bedroom and kiss you senseless.”

“Why wait until the bedroom?”

This time, Jesper laughed. “I love you, Wy.”

“I love you too.” 

Their lips met, the documents forgotten. All there was was the soft press of their kisses, their breaths mixing and clothes falling to the floor.

It was everything Wylan wanted, and more.

--

my sillies :)) i love them thank you rae for giving me an excuse to write domestic wesper

i was going to put this on ao3 but its not even 600 words lol

#they are in love your honor #simp jesper #wesper #wesper oneshot #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #six of crows #fanfic #oneshot #fluff #domestic fluff #engaged wesper !!

[love-strawberry]

crestfallen on the landing

summary : he was really grateful that she didn't ask anything of him, but one day, she finally does.

pairing : kaz brekker x reader

warnings : language, angst

author's note : HIIIIIIII!! im so fucking sorry everyone for being so inactive on updating here, i really am. but im here now!! i'll try my best to be on here more regularly :'),,, so kaz might be a bit ooc here and this is pure angst okay?? let me know if u want a part ii,, love u a sm <3 requests are open!!!

tagged : @xhanthexzoria @ateliefloresdaprimavera @ell0ra-br3kk3r @slut4benbarnes @0oolookitsme

masterlist

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y/n y/l/n had her fair share of regrets in her life.

she had made mistakes—some of which she could never come back from but in the end, if someone were to ask her if she was happy, she wouldn't have thought twice about saying yes.

she hadn't had the perfect life, but in the rundown building, full of life with her closest friends—family was a better word; she knew that it wouldn't get better than this.

but then kaz came along.

it wasn't as if he wasn't there before—he was, but he was just kaz then. kaz brekker, bastard of the barrel, dirtyhands, owner of the crow club, leader of the dregs—an asshole to the ones close to him.

but now, he was kaz.

the love of her life, the man who could talk hours on the hand about the most complex and near impossible heist and she would consider it music. the man whom she had loved more than she had ever loved anything, the one who made the dark alleys of the barrel seem like her home and it was.

her home was wherever he was.

he made the small rundown building with a crooked structure and broken staircase feel like home. just like he made the four walls of his office appear like a paradise to her.

their relationship hadn't really been a surprise to the crows, but still, it was a pretty big deal. curses were thrown around, people were threatened and money was made but the crows had never been happier with these two.

their relationship at first was stolen glances, half quirked lips, small nods and feather like touches on the shoulders. it was searching of the other's eye in a room full of people and it was staying awake till three in the morning, waiting for your other half to come back from a job.

then, it was calm. it was catching your lover's eyes from across the room and feeling your heartbeat slow down. it was looking over your shoulder and knowing that they had your back. it was finding your favourite coffee on the dining table in the morning when you woke up late and it was having your favourite thing for lunch at your desk without asking.

and now, y/n hoped it would be eyes that spoke a thousand words, meaningful glances and a lifelong aggreement on the roof where they had first met.

she hoped it would a lifetime of happiness.

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if there was one thing kaz brekker liked about y/n y/l/n, it was that she never asked anything of him.

she never complained about lack of physical contact, she never disagreed with him on the topic of his job and she never asked him to push more than he could.

she understood and he swore that for a moment, he believed that he could love her.

never in a million years to come, he would've been able to guess that he'd have someone. someone he could truly call his own.

in his mind, his relationship was pretty simple. it wasn't kisses in the dark and hands on her waist, it was small whispers in the alleys before a job and it was the slight touch of his gloves on her hands before he went off on a job.

they were great together, kaz knew that much. and they didn't really have problems in their relationship except for the occasional fight about changing the wallpaper in his office and decorating the slat—something both jesper and nina backed her up on.

which is why, he was surprised when she asked him to meet her on the rooftop where they had first met.

and he was even more surprised to see her sitting with her back to the railing, fiddling with her fingers and tapping her foot rhythmically.

"y/n?" kaz called out, his voice a rasp from the december cold. he was wearing his usual attire but regretted not wearing more layers when y/n told him to.

"kaz—hi!" y/n stood up from her place on the ground swiftly and made her way to where he was standing near the exit with her satchel clutched tightly in her hands.

"you wanted to meet me here?" kaz questioned, trying his absolute best not to let his voice come out all cold and demanding but he knew that y/n wouldn't make anything if it.

"oh, yes—" y/n trailed away and for a moment, kaz thought he saw panic and fear in her eyes but she quickly turned away and kaz decided that it was just a trick of the moonlight. "—one second, it's here. please, saints, don't tell me i forgot it—"

kaz watched her with slightly upturned lips as she looked through her satchel and shook his head to remain more serious.

"what is it?"

"have patience, i almost found it."

"found wha—"

his voice trailed away as y/n sighed with relief and turned to him with something in her hand and kaz almost wished that the moon was tricking him and that it was just a play of light.

"it's a ring?" kaz swallowed as he felt the world grew hot and held his cane a bit tighter.

"it's an antique ring," y/n corrected.

"and—" kaz struggled to say the next words, praying to all the saints that inej believed in that she would just say that she had brought it to show it to him. that's all. "—why do you have it?"

y/n's smile had faded a bit but she she shook her head, smiling more brightly than she was before and held out her hand, a good few inches away from kaz, holding the ring up so that he could see it.

"it's—uh," y/n spoke in a whisper, her eyes flickering across kaz's face in uncertainty, "it's for you."

kaz sucked in a sharp breath and looked down. when he looked up, there was not trace of a smile on y/n's face.

"i—" kaz stopped as he tried to string sentences together in his mind in a way that sounded the least harsh, "don't know what to say."

"you and not knowing what to say?" y/n laughed sadly and kaz wanted nothing more than to take back what had already escaped his mouth and make it right. "i mean—deep down i knew this was a possibility but i—i ruled it out. my mistake, right there."

"y/n—" kaz started but she help you her hand and he grew quiet.

"why—i mean, i know that we're still young but we're almost in our late twenties and i know that our lifestyle is not ideal for having a life full of domesticity but we don't have to do that—" y/n spoke rapidly, sounding like it hurt to speak, "—we can be kaz and y/n, stealing from the rich and living in the slat. why, kaz? why?"

kaz brekker didn't have a reason.

he didn't have a reason as to why he couldn't say yes to her. he didn't have a have a reason why it was so hard for him to finally accept something good and something pure and not tainted in life.

but because he was kaz brekker, he always had to get in the last world but this time, he almost wished saints cut his tongue cause nothing would ever make him forget the look on her face as he spoke.

"because in order to marry someone, you actually have to love them. we don't have that."

it had been a blur after that. there was a door slammed and he could practically hear inej sharping her knives to kill him. it had started raining but kaz took no notice.

guilt blossomed in his chest, regret was wrapping like poison ivy around him and cutting off his breath till he was was choking in the blood of the love that he may had killed.

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for y/n, it had been months since she was not able to tell the difference between the rain and her tears.

she made her way threw the narrow alleys, her dagger out and positioned in her hand like it was meant to kill and on a night like this, it was.

she quickly reached the slat and made her way up the stairs to her room, just wanting to lay in bed and add another regret to her list.

she had just finished changing from her wet clothes when a knock sounded at the door—a rhythmic pattern that she herself had taught the sharpshooter.

"jes, i really don't wanna talk right now," y/n called out weakly, her voice giving out halfway between and she cursed as she knew that he would definitely come in now. "just—close the door."

"hey," jesper peeked out from behind the door, taking in her tear stained cheeks and frowned. "what happened?"

"uh—i," y/n's voiced cracked and jesper instantly took a seat beside her on her bed and placed a hand on her should, "i messed it all up."

"don't say that," jesper protested as he wiped her tears. "no, whatever happened, we'll figure it out. what did he say?"

"he didn't have to say anything for me to know that it was 'no' from him," y/n said as she sniffled, the ring feeling so heavy in her pocket. "it's about what he said after."

"oh no, what'd he say?" jesper's face dropped and y/n almost wanted to smile at how horror struck he looked.

"he said that in order for people to marry, they have to love eachother and him and i don't have that," y/n said and her eyes instantly started to sting as his voice played on a loop over and over again in her head.

"okay, wow," jesper scoffed as he looked away. "i—i cannot be—"

his voice muffled after that as y/n pulled out the ring from her pocket and stared at the initials she had gotten engraved. a small 'k' for kaz and a crow next to it.

she looked over it in her hand and wondered that if that ring was so ugly that it made kaz say no.

"—and to say that—"

"is the ring ugly?" y/n interrupted jesper from his rant as she shoved the ring in his face.

"...what?"

"the ring. is it ugly?" y/n repeated slowly.

"uh—no, it's not," jesper spoke, although a bit confused.

"am i ugly?"

"what?! no, of course not, y/n/n," jesper said seriously, looking at her through crazed eyes. "what made you think that?"

"is there something wrong with me then?" y/n ignored his questions, her head running wild.

"no! no. no, listen to me," jesper started as took the ring out of her hand and placed it on her bedside table, "there's nothing wrong with you. you're perfect and anyone would so lucky to have you. kaz is an idiot who doesn't know what's in front of him and i'm telling you, he's gonna regret it—letting you go, that is.

"now, chin up and get some rest," jesper finished with a soothing smile as he stood up. "saints know you need."

"i'll tell the others in the morning," y/n nodded, moving the stacks of papers on her bed to the floor, "yeah, that sounds good."

"okay," jesper agreed, "but don't feel compelled to do so, alright? tell everyone else on your own accord."

"i will," y/n smiled at her friend gratefully before getting up and hugging him. "thank you, jes. i honestly don't know what i would do without you."

"you won't have to ever find out," jesper said, hugging her just as tightly, "i promise. i'll be here, forever and a day after that."

y/n couldn't say anything but with the way she hugged him with everything in her and whispered a 'thank you', she knew that jesper understood everything she wanted to say.

the two parted for the night and y/n returned to her bed, and stared at the ring in silence.

a moment passed and then another one and before she could stare any longer, she quickly placed the ring in one of the many drawers and turned off the lamp.

sighing heavily, she stared at the ceiling and before she even knew, she was clutching her stomach, and her hand was on her mouth, muffling the heart shattering sobs that slipped out like red wine and tainted her pillow.

her whole body shook as she drew in shaking breathes—or at least tried to. before she could even inhale properly, another sob made its way out of her chest and it hurt all over again.

she felt the pain in her chest, in the stomach and in her head. it was excruciating and painful and the worst of it all was that she believed that it was fine.

it was fine because that was how she had expected it be—loving kaz.

she knew that she'd never have the that love that nina and matthias had or jesper and wylan and she was fine with it.

she had always thought that in that end, it'd be silencing screams and painful words and barbed wired voices. but she never would've thought that it'd be a muted decison, ragged breaths and silences that felt deafening.

as she drew in another shaky breath, she swore that for a moment, she wondered if this was what the poets meant by death by a broken heart.

----------

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#kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker #kaz brekker blurbs #kaz brekker blurb #six of crows x you #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #jesper fahey x platonic!reader #jesper fahey #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker imagine

[aphroditestummyrolls]

Not me with a new wip idea I CANTTTTT

#six of crows #wesper #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #colm fahey #a Colm Discovers Jespers Ketterdam Life idea… naturally #I’m sad and full of feelings and this is definitely one of the fluffier ideas for this I’ve had #maybe if I manage to pace it right I can make it a oneshot

[mayfieldss]

Kiss her you fool - Jesper Fahey

Warnings: mentions of violence, x femreader, I finished writing this at four in the morning and added it to the queue without thinking. Someone send help.

AN: Very loosely based on the song 'Kiss her you fool' by Kids that fly.

Jesper was usually one for throwing himself in the deep end. He liked to abide by the 'You only live once' approach, pursuing all that he thought worth risking, and all he thought worth fighting for. There was something about chasing feelings, however, that left Jesper uncertain in his approach. If it was his emotions toward the tables, Kruge, or a good gunfight, Jesper found it easy to decide where he intended to go. With true matters of the heart, however, Jesper had to admit it was difficult to find his feet.

He was good at flirting with the mindless stranger until he dropped, good at chasing those in which he found interest. But there was a little pest of a thing that he had yet to tame, an infestation of a four-letter word that he did not know how to approach.

So, Jesper had a problem, and that problem was that he quite possibly loved you, in something of a non-platonic way. So far, he had found many an excuse to be by your side, many a reason to linger in your presence and drop hints, though none of which you seemed to catch. He had done his fair share of flirting with you, though, Jesper feared he had cried wolf too many times, his continuous flirtations with you since you met now having become something of a joke rather than a representative of serious feelings. He cursed himself for his charm. He cursed himself for the lips of which could not stop themselves from sweet-talking anything that he passed. To put it simply Jesper didn't know what to do.

The night was cold in Ketterdam, the sky a canvas of harsh black as if the paint used was born from coal. Clouds covered the sky above, though, were so thick and inky themselves they could hardly be distinguished, and Jesper was headed to the Crow Club, where he hoped to find you. He had originally found himself heading toward one of the back alleys at which he liked to practice his aim, intending to spill out his feelings in a flurry of bullets against glass bottles. It was clear now, that he had changed his mind, boots crushing the stones beneath his feet as he came to the end of his journey, doors of the Crow Club before him. What had brought him here was the thought that perhaps he could tell you how he felt, though the doors to the club, now looming like a threat before him, made Jesper second guess.

He loved the place, but the thought of confessing something he had never before felt to you, was a terrifying scenario. Jesper had been in many a fight, hands thrown at him, bullets barely missing his lanky frame, and upon occasion the rare blast of an explosion that left his ears to ring. Yet, somehow, telling you how he felt seemed a lot more of a challenge.

The club was loud, bustling with the messy folk that dared to enter and throw away what was left of their lives in the hopes they could win back something better. Jesper was in fact one of those people, so he had no right to judge, and he didn't.

You weren't often at the Crow Club, only making an appearance at the place if requested by Kaz Brekker or one of your other acquaintances. You had told Jesper once, that you weren't fond of watching temptation consume people whole, and thus never liked to be in such a place if you could help it. So, you spent most of your free time wandering the streets or lounging in your room at the Slat, but as Jesper had yet to find you anywhere, the Crow Club was his last resort. Perhaps he was just telling himself this so that he could make his way there and gamble away his problems, and his feelings, though such things never seemed to work. More often than not he left the tables with more trouble than he started with, and a lot more emotions to account for.

There seemed to be more people inside than usual, but maybe it was Jesper's mind exaggerating the number of bodies in the club, due to the fact he was looking for someone in particular. Jesper had only one face in mind, that being yours. Pushing his way through the people was a difficulty particularly when there were so many games of chance occurring around him in which he was dying to participate.

Just as Jesper found himself willing to give in, he saw you on the other side of the club, talking to someone he couldn't see, which of course was most likely Inej. The lights in the Crow Club were dim and yellow, casting something of an unappealing glow upon everything the light could touch. Dust circled with it, adding to how unattractive the club tended to be. Despite all this Jesper still found the breath leaving him at the sight of you, the smallest of smiles that tinged your lips as you spoke, the shine of your eyes reflected in lighting that should have been repulsive. Yet somehow when you stood beneath it, he found it wonderful.

Plastering on his signature grin, Jesper let his feet carry him to you, hoping that today would be the day he had the guts to spill exactly how he felt. By the time he reached you Inej was gone, no trace of the Suli girl to be seen, and you turned so abruptly that he almost bumped straight into you. He felt ridiculous, the jolt of electricity that seemed to run through him at your smile almost unbearable. It was the kind of adrenaline he craved to chase on a round at the tables or a job gone wrong with the dregs. Yet it was a much safer kind of dose.

"My fair lady" Jesper allowed himself to wink at you, following the action with a swift bow as though you were a queen. You might as well have been in the way you ruled Jesper's thoughts.

"Good evening Jes".

Jesper loved it when you called him that, though he had never brought it up to you out of fear you might stop. There was something about the nickname coming from your lips alone that seemed to jumpstart his heart.

He watched as you began to walk by him then, coming to the realization that grinning at you like that of a goofy dog, was not sufficient for conversation.

"Where are you headed?" It was all Jesper could come up with to ask, already making a move to follow you, coming into a rhythm of walking by your side.

"The Slat." You responded without so much as looking his way, focused on finding your way through the crowd of gamblers without difficulty. Jesper, though, he hated to admit such things, found it hard not to take this to heart. It was stupid to do so and he knew as much, but with a heart as big as his, of which he was willing to hand to you on a silver platter, he was a lost cause for such things.

"Would you be interested in..." Jesper trailed off, unable to think of an offer to make.

It was then that you turned to him, but with his mind empty of thought, he wished you hadn't. "Yes, Jesper. I would love to".

You spoke with a genuineness not often found in the trap of a place that was the barrel and it took a moment for your words to register in Jesper's mind. When they did, however, he found himself grinning beyond control.

-

Jesper had no plan. He remembered coming up with something of one on his way to the Crow Club where step one had been to find you, but now that this task was accomplished Jesper realized he had yet to come up with step two.

As of now, he was walking the darkened streets of Ketterdam with you in silence; Something Jesper could hardly bear. Though Jesper had not curated a plan, he knew well enough that this was not how he intended his night to go. Perhaps it was a hopeless romantic part of him, though he wondered how he had kept that piece of him alive in a place such as Ketterdam where nearly everything dies, but Jesper had seen his night going differently. Somehow, he had believed that he would have the courage to tell you exactly what he was feeling, lay it out like the cards he was so fond of, and hope that what he felt was reciprocated. Now as his feet crushed the gravel and his jacket blew in the lightest of breezes, he wondered how he had ever imagined himself doing so.

"What exactly did I get myself into?" Your voice rings against the night air, a sound that Jesper is grateful for in breaking the silence.

"I'm not sure what you mean." He finds the corner of his mouth twitching with the threat of a smile that he can never seem to prevent. He knows what you're asking of him but leading along the conversation just seems more fun.

"What exactly was the offer you were about to make me before I agreed without so much as hearing it?" You loop your arm through his as you speak, the grin that Jesper was trying to hide pouring out over his features at the contact. If it was possible, Jesper would have loved you more.

"Can I be honest with you, Y/N?" trying to hide the caution in his voice comes as something of a difficulty, and as if on cue all words leave his brain as you nod you're head. He has nothing to say, his big brave moment of confession is gone. The speech he ran through in his mind as he walked with you in silence had abandoned him, replaced by the rambling chaotic thoughts that held residence most often in Jesper's mind.

"I don't know what I was going to offer you in the Crow Club, I just couldn't think of anything to say". The answer is honest, and he wants to say more but thinks the better of it. He couldn't think of anything to say then, and he can't think of anything now.

You smile, quiet chuckle leaving your lips, but nothing more. Once again you fall into silence, all but for the sound of your feet on the gravel and the low breaths that leave both you and Jesper as you walk.

-

Days later and Jesper is still cursing himself for not taking his shot that night. You were right there with him in the not-so-beautiful streets of the barrel, yet he couldn't find the words to say. It was someone by the name of Nina Zenik, however, who suggested to Jesper, that perhaps he didn't need words at all.

"I would have thought you'd be better at this by now" the voice of the Grisha girl was the thing to snap Jesper out of one of his many brooding moments, though he doesn't look up.

"Better at what exactly?" Currently, Jesper was swishing around the drink in his cup, no doubt looking like a hopelessly disappointed puppy, and he continues to do so without so much as turning around.

"Flirting, expressing feelings, romance" Nina pauses, and even though he can't see her, Jesper can sense the way she lifts her shoulder in a shrug before continuing. "You know, all the good stuff".

"I am fabulous at flirting" Jesper frowns at his drink before placing the cup on the table with a sigh. He doesn't move as Nina sits down beside him at the bar. He had no idea how she found him in the first place, let alone why she would want to. This wasn't somewhere Nina could often be seen and the only guess he had as to why she would appear in such a place, was that she was looking for him.

"You look awfully sad, I'm guessing it's because you can't get up the guts to pursue the girl of your dreams" There is a teasing tone to Nina's voice and Jesper finds some comfort in it, pushing his drink over to her in hopes that it can be money not wasted.

"Oh, I'm pursuing her, but I'm failing".

"Honey, I know" Nina's lips hold a sympathetic smile, and Jesper can't help but chuckle at the comment. He doesn't question how Nina knows about his feelings for you, she is something of an expert at romance after all.

"I've tried to tell her Nina, but my words are traitors" Jesper can't help but rest his forehead upon the top of the bar, no doubt an unsanitary activity. He was too tired to care and frustrated with himself beyond measure.

"Jesper, have you heard of the concept show not tell?" Nina's voice is genuine in questioning and Jesper raises his head just enough to look at her.

"How does this apply to the struggle that is my life?"

Nina rolls her eyes, the action causing Jesper to frown. "Don't you think it would be so much easier to show her how you feel instead of trying to tell her? It's not hard to make a grand gesture in a place like the barrel".

Jesper thinks this over, disagreeing entirely with Nina's train of logical ideas. "The barrel doesn't have so much as a flower for me to give her".

Despite this, Jesper has to admit that showing instead of telling seems a hell of a lot easier considering Jesper's many failed attempts at using his words. Still, it seems more complex than Nina tends to imply.

Nina heaves a sigh worthy of a thousand men back from a day’s work, before looking Jesper over carefully. "Do you want me to simplify this even more than I already have?" She seems to put emphasis on the 'already' pushing the idea that Jesper's brain is working at a much slower pace than it should be.

Ignoring this, Jesper nods. "Please do".

Nina sighs again, though smiling, and pushes Jesper's drink back to him as if to say that he will need it. "Kiss her you fool".

-

It felt like Deja vu as Jesper found himself walking toward the Crow Club, hoping to find you there amongst the groups of hopeless people. He had once again ventured everywhere else to find you, only to come up empty with any trace of your presence. It was late in the day, the sun only just high enough and bright enough behind the clouds to cast a white glow against the streets, and Jesper found himself rushing toward the gambling house full of inspiration provided by none other than Nina Zenik.

His feet found their way into a run, not wanting to lose the confidence he found himself holding before he made it to you. It was not uncommon for people to be seen racing through the streets of the barrel, those that did most commonly running from someone wishing them dead. Jesper was racing toward his destination for an entirely different reason, not that the people of the barrel would know.

When he finally made it to the doors of the Crow Club, he found himself out of breath, chest heaving and aching with that of much consumed cold air. His lungs burned and his heart pounded like that of a judge's gavel beating out the verdict of a trial long-awaited to end. Just as Jesper thought his breath was caught, his eyes landed upon you discussing something with one of the dealers at a table right in the centre of the club. The air in his lungs was gone again, though he didn't plan to squander any more time.

Jesper only had one chance, his confidence bound to die in the next few minutes, so it was now or never. As you finished your conversation with the dealer Jesper found himself halfway across the club in seconds, bringing up all the courage he could find to consume him. He wasted no time once he got to you, your face one of surprise as he spun you to face him before pressing his lips to yours.

It lasted a few seconds at most, though Jesper couldn't deny it felt good to finally kiss you, the weight of something he had wanted to do for so long, finally off his shoulders. Still running high on the adrenaline of it all, Jesper couldn't register the true panic swelling within him that you had in fact, not kissed him back. His mind all but roared with the thought of what he had just done and how he had done it, eyes scanning your face for any signs of how you felt. You stood there staring at him for what seemed to be an eternity, though it couldn't have been more than a few seconds at most before you pulled him back down to kiss you again, this time kissing him back.

Jesper was well aware of the people surrounding the both of you and had no doubts that Kaz would bring you both to his office later to discuss how public displays of affection make the customers feel uncomfortable and lonely. But for now, Jesper couldn't care less. Your lips were on his, and he was pulling you closer than you had ever been before. He would have to thank Nina later for her sound advice, but for now, he wanted to savour every piece of this moment. The fact that he was finally kissing you and you were kissing him back said it all. One kiss was a thousand words in one gesture, and he would never forget it.

-

AN: I am well aware this fic is not proofread. Bae, I am so tired please let it slide.

GRISHAVERSE TAGLIST: @avyannadawn

GENERAL TAGLIST: @heliads @candywh0r3 @caplanreads

#jesper fahey #six of crows #jesper fahey headcanons #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey imagines #jesper soc #jesper x reader #jesper fahey fanfiction #jesper fahey fluff #jesper fahey x y/n #jesper fahey fics #jesper fahey oneshot #soc #jesper fanfiction #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey x femreader #jesper fahey imagine #jesper fahey one shots #jesper fahey one shot #jesper fahey soc #soc fanfic #soc fanfiction #soc headcanon #crooked kingdom #the crows #jesper fahey headcannons #jesper fahey fic #jesper fahey fic recs #shadow and bone

[heliads]

Hello heliads i wanted to request a jeper fahey x reader, based on the prompt "stop stealing my clothes"

Please and thank you😊

hello anonymous here is your jeper fahey request

masterlist

You are enjoying a rare moment of peace. In a place like the Barrel, such instances come few and far between. You don’t think you’ve gone this long without hearing gunshots ring out since you first joined the Dregs. That’s not even to mention the shockingly low level of stabbings that have taken place over the past week. Perhaps nature is healing. Ketterdam can never truly clean itself of all violence, but it can come close to a sort of truce, and you’re enjoying the aftereffects of that now. 

Your peace is only defined by the lack of violence that surrounds you. It isn’t quiet, so to speak. The Barrel never could be quiet, even if you forcibly dragged out all the criminals and thugs and let the stadwatch rule the streets like they’re meant to do. The canals would still roil with sound, the streets would still let noise echo up to the rafters. This city of yours was never meant to rest for long. Still, you can find pockets of serenity in it, breaths caught in between chaos. For this fleeting moment, you are calm. Such things are treasured almost as much as kruge.

Thus you have it all before you, the rarest bits of tranquility in the world’s last bastions of grime and disorder, and thus it is taken from you within a manner of minutes. One instant, you’re sitting by yourself in a quieter corner of the Crow Club, nursing your drink and pretending you’ll ever be at peace for longer than a nanosecond, and the next thing you know, you have company. Not unwelcome company, to be sure. No, not unwelcome in the slightest.

The sight of you might be more unwelcome to your company, however. Jesper Fahey has barely slid into a seat in front of you before his easy smile drops into an exasperated groan. 

Fingers rising to pinch the bridge of his nose, Jesper gestures uselessly at you with his free hand. “What the hell is this?”

You decide to feign innocence. “A friend, Jesper. I’m a friend. Hard enough to come by that you’ve started forgetting what they look like, huh?”

Jesper slides a deeply troubled look your way. “Obviously I’m just grand when it comes to my legions of friends. You know what I’m talking about.”

You prop your chin up on your hands. “Do I?”

“Yes,” Jesper snorts, “you do. You’re wearing my hat. And my coat, if I’m not mistaken.”

Not one to trifle with his marksman’s eyes, you give up your ruse at last. “Perhaps it is. What do you have to say about that?”

Jesper grimaces. “I shouldn’t have to say anything about it because it shouldn’t be happening. Stop stealing my clothes.”

You grin. “No.”

Jesper narrows his eyes at you. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no,” you clarify, “I rather like this hat. And the coat goes so well with it. It would have been criminal to leave it behind.”

“It would not have been criminal to leave the cost behind,” Jesper argues, “it would actually have been less criminal. You know stealing is a crime, right?”

You nod solemnly. “And a terrible one at that. Out of curiosity, from which store did you buy this hat? Since stealing is such a crime, I know you got it from a reputable source.”

Jesper’s air of confidence grinds to a standstill. “Of course I did. Why would you ask such a thing?”

You ask such a thing because you happen to know perfectly well that Jesper stole the aforementioned hat from the house of a wealthy mercher. Kaz had his team break in with the intention of grabbing a few documents, nothing more. He’d nearly blown a gasket when Jesper insisted on taking the hat, especially since it was being worn at the time of the theft. It had gone well in the end, Jesper had snatched the garment from the head of the sleeping mercher with all the grace of a second coming of the Wraith, but the chastisements from Kaz had been legendary. 

Knowing this backstory, you fix Jesper with a terrible grin. ���Oh, no reason. I was just wondering if you might have happened to steal it in the first place. That would make my theft of it more okay, right?”

“I don’t like your logic,” Jesper comments. 

“Of course you don’t,” you say soothingly. 

Jesper shrugs and downs a swallow of his own drink. You don’t entirely remember it arriving at the table, but for as long as you’ve known him, Jesper has had a knack for being able to conjure drinks out of thin air. Every time you ask, he makes up some excuse about his tens of thousands of admirers, but you think the bartenders just know that they’ll end up with high tips if they ply him with spirits early on. 

Encouraged by the fire of Ketterdam’s finest brew, Jesper carries on his argument. “Look, you know what, I’ll allow it just this once. Don’t make it a habit, though. I happen to like those clothes.”

You beam triumphantly. “I knew you’d come around! I’ll try not to get blood on them as a thank you.”

Jesper shudders. “Don’t say such things. The thought of stains on such fine craftsmanship makes my hair stand on end.”

You pretend to be affronted. “Not the thought that I might be injured in them? Be honest with me, Jesper, would you wear the coat again if I died in it? You cannot lie.”

He laughs. “Depends on if there were visible bullet holes or stab wounds in it. I prefer quality garments over that whole ‘distressed chic’ thing the stores keep trying to push on us.”

You roll your eyes. “Not the fact that I might be dead?”

“Of course I’m not worried that you’d be dead,” Jesper says easily, “I know you wouldn’t be dead.”

You cock your head to the side, considering his statement. “In the Barrel? How can you know that?”

Jesper shrugs, as if the truth he’s bestowing is just common knowledge and not something that has the power to completely devastate you. “I wouldn’t let it happen. If someone tries to hurt you, well, I’d like to see them try. I’d welcome a good challenge.”

His eyes gleam, and as he speaks, Jesper’s hands drift to the pearlescent handles of his revolvers. Jesper likes to pretend that he’s untouchable by the stresses of the world, utterly without principle and unable to feel something as bone crushingly mediocre as fear, but in this moment you almost believe it. If someone tried to come in between Jesper and someone he cared about— and Ghezen forbid that person in danger was you— Jesper would burn the entire city to a cinder just to make sure you would feel its warmth. There is no gamble he wouldn’t bet on to keep you by his side. 

For some reason the thought of it is far too much to consider, and you find yourself turning away, unable to pay Jesper the credit of letting him look at you and realize what an impact he’s had on you. Judging by the self satisfied smirk you can just see out of the corner of your eye, however, Jesper knows too much for his own good. 

“That’s a perfectly admirable sentiment,” you say, partly to fill the silence that seems to be pressing in at every nook and cranny of your suddenly bared heart and partly to make Jesper stop smiling at you like that, for the Saints’ sake, “but it isn’t reasonable. There’s no way you could possibly shoot every single conman or crook in Ketterdam. You’d run out of bullets.”

Jesper dismisses this worry with a wave of his hand. The low light of the Crow Club shines on his many rings, guiding your gaze slowly but surely from the all too fascinating corner of the table where it had been earlier and back towards him again. 

“I’ll take extra bullets from the corpses. I’d never run out.”

“Morbid,” you reproach. 

“Clever,” Jesper argues. 

“Unusual,” you amend, and that does well enough by the two of you. 

Jesper glances around the club, then conspiratorially leans forward, as if he’s including you in a secret the rest of the world could only ever hope to know.

“Can I tell you something?” His voice is low, scarcely carried to you over the gentle raucous of bets won and lost echoing in the background of the club. There’s an argument two tables over that makes more sense then what’s going on. The man getting escorted out of the doors for drunkenness has no idea what it’s like to have his head spin the way yours is right now. You’re more intoxicated than he could ever dream, all because Jesper is looking at you like he’d never see anyone else if he could help it.

You nod, unable to form a word. 

Jesper smiles and continues on. “I don’t actually mind it when you steal my clothes. I like to give you a hard time because it’s fun to watch you try to defend yourself. In fact,” he says, reaching out a hand to fix the errant flap of your coat collar, “I think you look better in them than I could ever hope to.”

“What’s so fun about teasing me, then?” You ask. Anything to cover up the spike in your pulse as you turn his words over and over again in your head. He’s saying something that both of you have been alluding to for quite some time. You and Jesper have been dancing around a certain unspoken truth for weeks, perhaps even longer, neither of you willing to commit long enough to set it in stone.

Ketterdam is made of crooks, after all, beggars and borrowers and charlatans. This is no place for something as unguarded as a heart to give up to someone you need, someone you love. If you were to feel something for Jesper Fahey, you had best hide it before he realizes, before he uses you as a guarantee in a job gone south like anyone else. This is not a city for lovers, it is a city for killers, and as long as you like your heart more whole and less bloody, you had better throw up your walls before Jesper finds a way to tear them down.

It is too late for that, of course. It has been too late for too long. Jesper knows it, but you think you’re going to be alright on that front. For one thing, you have a feeling that he harbors the exact same affections for you as you do for him.

Jesper’s grin lets you know soon enough. “I like spending time with you,” he explains easily, “Saints, I like you. Never thought you’d need me to say it out loud, though.”

“Maybe I like hearing it anyway,” you say as casually as you can.

The flash in Jesper’s eyes is electric. “I’ll just have to say it more often, then,” he declares.

You’re unable to hide your smile any longer. “I think that sounds good to me.”

It sounds good to Jesper as well, and soon enough he’s downing the last of his drink. He stands, offering a hand to you. You take it without thinking– when have you not, by the way– and let him lead you to the door.

“Let’s get out of here,” he whispers. You’re halfway over the threshold and wondering how far you would go for him, how much you would lose. Do the consequences really matter when you think about all the heights you would reach, the riches you would gain? The answer is no, spoken in the pleased sort of laugh Jesper always manages to drag out of you.

So you let Jesper pull you out into the darkened street. The cobblestone streets roll on endlessly before you, the streetlights flash by ceaselessly as you walk. There is no end to the city, not tonight. This world is infinite for you and the boy by your side. You could spend the rest of your midnights chasing him down this rush, and you think just this once, you will.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @cameronsails, @deadreaderssociety, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #six of crows #six of crows imagines #six of crows x reader #six of crows oneshot #grishaverse jesper #grishaverse jesper x reader #grishaverse jesper imagines #grishaverse jesper oneshot

[w1shes43]

Jesper Fahey Masterlist

Bling to the Ring: Summary: Fake marriage, you're already dating, but the place you're going to go on a heist allows only allows a specific married couple.

#jesper fahey #jesper fahey imagines #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey oneshot #jesper fahey masterlist #jesper fahey series #masterlist #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse oneshot #grishaverse masterlist #shadow and bone #six of crows #shadow and bone imagines #six of crows imagines #shadow and bone oneshot #six of crows oneshot #shadow and bone series #six of crows series #shadow and bone masterlist #six of crows masterlist #sab #soc #sab imagines #soc imagines #sab oneshot #soc oneshot #sab series #soc series

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Weather the Storms

Wylan van Eck x Jesper Fahey

Summary: my take on the van Eck reveal with Show!Wesper

Word Count: 2104

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, mention of Jan van Eck's shitty parenting

“Do you think I'd give up?

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darlin', I'd scare so easily?” - Francesca, Hozier

~

“Are there any questions?” Kaz turned towards the three Crows sitting behind him. 

Nina raised her hand and said, “Yeah, I’ve got one. Who’s the job for?”

“The Merchant Council. Specifically Jan Van Eck.”

“The Merchant Council?” Jesper scoffed. “They’re not gonna pay up.”

“They will,” Kaz stated. “Because we have insurance.”

“Insurance?” Nina asked. 

Kaz turned his gaze on Wylan. “Jan Van Eck’s son. Everyone, Wylan Van Eck.”

Wylan felt the world crash around him. He knew people were talking, but it all sounded like they were underwater. Wylan had known, of course, that Kaz had known who he was. Who his father was. But he had assured Wylan he wouldn’t tell anyone his secret. Amidst the panic unfurling in Wylan’s chest, there was burning anger. His eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly as he leveled his gaze at Kaz. 

“Fuck you,” he hissed out before jumping up from his stool, knocking it down in the process. He knew Nina and Jesper were watching him, but he didn’t care. He needed to get away from the suddenly too stuffy bar. He pushed through the door connecting the club to the Slat and rushed up the stairs to the room he now shared with Jesper. 

Wylan slammed the door behind him and began pacing, muttering to himself. But he wasn’t alone for long. 

~

Jesper’s head was swirling with emotions: shock, betrayal, anger. Anger towards Kaz, anger towards Wylan. How could they keep this from him? After Wylan’s abrupt departure, Jesper followed after him, not hearing anything Kaz was saying to him. 

He pushed open the door to the shared room and found Wylan pacing. 

“Wylan.”

He spun around. “Jes-”

“You lied to me.”

Wylan looked shocked. Jesper scoffed internally. Why should he look so upset when he’s the one who lied?

“I never lied to you,” Wylan said, taking a step closer to Jesper. 

“Oh, no? Because from where I stand, this feels like a pretty big fucking lie! What, did you not trust me?”

“No, Jesper, you know I trust you-” Suddenly they were both yelling. 

“Then why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I was going to, I just-” He cut himself off, his eyes becoming glassy. 

“When, Wylan? When were you going to tell me? When were you going to tell me that your father is one of the richest Merchers in Ketterdam?” When Wylan didn’t answer, Jesper scoffed and shook his head. “What are you even doing in the Barrel? Why would you choose to be here when you could go back to a big mansion on Gildenstraat?”

Wylan’s posture straightened and he took a deep breath. Definitely a Merch, Jesper thought bitterly. 

“You don’t know what it was like in that house, Jesper. No one chooses life in the Barrel.” And with that, Wylan walked out of the room, slamming the still-open door behind him. The door slammed so hard the oil lamp on the bedside table rattled dangerously. 

Jesper huffed and flopped down on the bed. 

~ 

Jesper was languishing in his room, twirling his revolvers around. He was still angry- no scratch that, he was still furious, at Wylan for keeping such a big secret. He was also mad at Kaz for not telling him earlier. But he was thinking. It just didn’t make sense. Why would Wylan be in the Barrel if his father was one of the most influential men on the Council? 

Ketterdam’s never really felt like home to me.

What was Wylan’s childhood like? Was it really so bad he felt unloved? He thought about the look in Wylan’s eyes when Jesper found out he couldn’t read, the fear that radiated off of him. He thought about Wylan’s tendency to flinch at loud, sudden movements, like the yelling common around the Barrel or the thump of Kaz hitting his cane against a table. He thought about how Wylan panicked any time his neck was touched.

He was missing something. Something huge.

Jesper was also starting to get worried. Night was falling and Wylan still had not returned to their room. Jesper may be angry, but he still cared about the younger man. What if he went back to his father’s house? What if he got jumped in the street? What if another gang attacked him? What if-

“Jesper.”

He jolted at the sound, but relaxed when he saw who had called his name. “Inej!” She was standing by his window, leaning against the sill. Jesper took three big strides across the room and wrapped her in a hug. “When did you get in?”

“This morning,” she replied. “Kaz had me running errands all day. Otherwise I would have dropped by sooner.”

Jesper’s hands fell back to his sides. “I’m assuming he caught you up on this new job?”

“He did.” She took a seat on the bed. “I know you’re angry, but you have to talk to him.”

“Who, Kaz?” Inej shot him a look. Jesper sighed and sunk onto the bed next to her. “You knew? Stupid question, of course you knew.”

Inej glanced to the side before saying, “Kaz had me tail him for a while, when he first surfaced in the Barrel. He couldn’t figure out what he was doing working in the tannery. So he sent me looking for information at the Van Eck estate.”

“What did you find?”

She sighed. “Not much. Van Eck pays his employees too well to get information out of them. All they would tell me was that the boy was attending music school in Belendt.”

“But- He’s not?”

“And that’s why I turned to the rumor mill. The only one that seemed to stick was that he had run off with one of his tutors.” She saw the hurt behind Jesper’s eyes. “But I wouldn’t put any kruge on that. Go talk to him. Ask him.” 

Jesper scoffed. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Inej took one of Jesper’s hands in her own. “Jes, I see how much you care for each other. How much you love each other. Don’t let him slip away because of a fight. Life brings us many storms. Love is what gets us through them.”

~

Jesper practically flung himself down the stairs of the Slat, the need to talk to his boyfriend practically burning him from the inside out.

“He’s not here.”

Jesper spun around to see Kaz leaning on his cane by the bar. “But you know where he is?”

Kaz was silent for a minute before sighing. “Look, Jes. I hadn’t predicted that you and Wylan would grow as close as you have. And I assumed he had already told you.”

Jesper knew that was as close to an apology as he would get from Kaz. “Where is he?”

“The workshop.” As Jesper wrenched open the door, Kaz called, “Oh, and Jesper? Don’t fuck it up.”

A small smile crossed Jesper’s face. He may not say it in as many words, but Kaz cares about his Crows.

~

When Jesper reached the workshop, he started pounding on the door, panting. “Wylan! Wylan, it’s me! Please open the door!”

Jesper heard the locks being undone, but was not greeted with the face of his boyfriend. Instead, he was met with an angry-looking Nina Zenik. 

“Nina? What are you doing here? Where’s Wylan?”

Nina crossed her arms over her chest. “Kaz sent me to check on him after he ran out of the Slat. His little heart was going so fast I thought he would go into cardiac arrest. When I finally caught up to him, he told me that the two of you got into a fight. And you know what the first thing he said to me was? He apologized. He apologized for who his father is, something he can’t control any more than you or I,” she jabbed at Jesper’s chest, “can control being born Grisha.” Nina sighed and took a step back. “I don’t know what his childhood was like, but Wylan’s been abused. Profoundly abused.”

Jesper looked down at his feet, his face flushing with shame. “I, um, I came to apologize.”

Nina opened the door a bit more and stepped to the side. “Well, he’s asleep now. I had to calm him with how much stress and anxiety he had.” As Jesper walked down the stairs of the lab, Nina said, “Oh, and Jesper? You break his heart or hurt him again in any way, I will make you piss your pants in front of the entire club. Understood?” After Jesper nodded, Nina walked out of the workshop, slamming the door behind her. 

Jesper walked over to the shitty little mattress in the corner of the room where Wylan was laying. He sat on the edge of the makeshift bed, brushing his hair away from his eyes. Even in his Grisha-induced sleep, there was a divot of worry between his brows. Jesper reached out and smoothed over the worry-line. 

Wylan started to stir. He rubbed at his eyes. “Jesper?”

“Hey, Novice,” Jesper said, smiling at his boyfriend. He grazed Wylan’s cheek with the back of his hand. 

“What-what are you doing here?” Wylan asked, sitting up. “I thought you were angry.”

Jesper took a deep breath. “I was, at first. But it wasn’t so much you I was mad at, more the situation,” he admitted. At Wylan’s confused expression, he continued, “For as long as I can remember, people have been keeping things from me. Kaz especially. I’m always the last to know about plans, about jobs, about secrets. And you know how I tend to act on impulse.”

Wylan looked down at where Jesper had taken his hand and linked their fingers together. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“Hey.” Jesper tilted Wylan’s head up so he could look in his eyes. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. You’re right, no one chooses life in the Barrel. I should have heard you out. I should have listened.”

Wylan took a shuddering breath. “Wylan van Eck is dead. He died in the harbor three years ago, and was reborn as Wylan Hendricks.”

“What? Wylan, what are you talking about?”

Wylan looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. He exhaled shakily before saying, “He told me he was sending me to a music school in Belendt. He sent me with two of his staff. Once we were on the boat and far enough out into the harbor, they tried to kill me. The only thing I could do was jump off the boat and swim.” Wylan shivered and squeezed Jesper’s hand, and Jesper wrapped his free arm around his shoulders. “The water was so cold. I thought I would drown out there. But I made it to shore. I survived. My father tried to have me killed, and I survived.” he let out a bitter, hollow laugh. 

“I’m sorry, Wy,” Jesper said, rubbing his shoulder. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared,” he admitted. “I was scared you’d see me as some dumb Mercher’s kid in way over their head. I was scared you’d leave me.” Wylan started picking at a hangnail as the air between them grew static. 

Jesper swallowed back the lump in his throat. “Wylan-”

“I-I’m not trying to guilt you into staying, if you want me to move out, I will. I’ll start packing my stuff-”

“Whoa, whoa, Wylan! Who said anything about leaving or moving out?”

Wylan looked up at Jesper, his eyes misty. “You don’t want me to move out?”

“No,” said Jesper, cupping Wylan’s face in his hands. “I want you to stay. I want you to come back home. You mean the world to me, Wy. No little argument is going to stop me from loving you.”

“You love me?” he whispered, almost as if he was afraid it wouldn’t be true if he said it too loud. 

Jesper smiled. “Yeah, Wylan, I love you.” Saying it out loud was probably the easiest, most thrilling thing Jesper’s ever done. More than rolling the dice, more than pulling the trigger. And seeing Wylan’s face light up in a smile made it all worth it. 

“I love you too, Jes.”

Jesper kissed Wylan’s forehead, gripping both of his hands. “Can we agree, no more secrets between each other?”

“Yeah. No more secrets.” 

Jesper laughed, giving Wylan’s lips a quick peck. “Let’s get back to the Slat before Nina makes Kaz send a search team, yeah?”

#jesper x wylan #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #jesper fahey #wesper #my fics #em's fics #my writing #oneshot #wesper fluff

[delusionalgirlwritingfanfic]

So apparently, I'm never leaving my hyper fixation on the grisha verse yet again. I have an oc one shot that I had not planned on writing but loved too much not too keep and will eventually realse it because it's been sitting at already six pages long, I wanted to knock it out. However, ignoring the rabling, I am taking requests for Kaz Brekker slash any crow ideas and Nikolia Lantsvo. School has restarted college is tame as of thus far I will try my best to keep up if y'all want anything.

#grishaverse #six of crows #privateerprince #kaz brekker #inej ghana #imagine your otp #booklore #shadow and bone #sturmhond #x reader #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #oneshot #nikolai lantsov #the crowned prince #nina zenik #matthias helvar