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#sometimes i wonder if their dad did more than touch me but i cant be certain right now
truckstoptigers · 7 months
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i remember this one time when i was planning on going to my best friend's (we were 'dating' in that little kid way, where we didn't really understand that kind of thing) house
i couldn't have been older than 10 yet i dressed up the best i could, used the lipstick with the plumper in it, put on a little mascara. i knew what men liked, so surely it must be the same. this is what i am meant to do. this is the only reason people like me, right?
it was something aaron taught me
sometimes they're nicer to you if you're pretty
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nightmarist · 10 months
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spiderverse spoilers
i watched it a second time, the first time was with one friend, the second was with both my best friends
obsessed with the way spot became the villain
the music, the visual change from white-with-black-spots to that really wiry, black Goya-esque style
It really felt like a reverse of the street fighter "for you it was the worst day of your life, for me it was a tuesday"
I love how terrifying they made him feel, moving on from this dorky silly character - which is also to say people familiar with his comics also just kinda thought he wasnt that great of a villain just lame and weird - and turning him into this superpowered villain. I also love the pettiness of his villain reasoning, part of it being yes he lost his friends and family and job and cant participate in regular society looking the way he does, but also just the "ill show you" attitude of being made fun of. I wonder if hes using that pettiness as a shield from the fact he did, in fact, Lose Everything when he became the spot.
the painterly style of gwen's world was incredible, i love the muted pink and blues, i LOVE the way it started to look like dripping watercolor on a harrowing, sad scene, the color emphasizing emotion between her and her dad, the way she was in light where her dad was covered in shadow.
Framing Miguel's face the way they did his reveal, showing the happy dad and closing out the screen to see this very tired, worn out man. I LOVE a spider-man becoming an accidental villain out of the desperation of holding everything back together, he weight of the multiverse crushing his shoulders, feeling like hes the only one to be able to make the worst of the worst decisions that are necessary (that we know of) to survive.
Pavitr didn't have a lot of screen time but I do like how quickly they were able to get us to know exactly who he is and where he is in the spiderman story; he's still very much a kid having having fun with these new powers.
i LOVE that the comic sound texts (thwip, pow etc) was written in Indian script in Mumbattan
I love all the subtleties in Hobie's design. Every tactile thing he dos changes his color scheme, sometimes he has photocopy lines masked on top of him, which is such a cool touch - punk art styles used photocopiers which is where we get that classic grainy, high-contrast black-and-white look for a lot of punk art.
He also isn't just. Stealing to steal. Like yeah its obvious he took those parts in order to make his own kind of watch (which btw I love that it was on a spiked arm band) , but his entire character is a lot more intelligent than i think a few people assume; hes giving off a casual demeanor, but it feels like hes playing 4D chess while everyone playing checkers like the way he guides and goads Miles into learning to use his palms for the venom strike, it wasn't just foreshadowing it felt super deliberate, in addition to him trying to caution Miles gently away from the Spider Society without being angry or upset Miles wasnt listening.
I cant wait for this to officially release, Im going to go in frame by frame for some of these incredible scenes.
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one-abuse-survivor · 10 months
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hey there ! anon with the abusive sister here. hope you're doing okay ! (if i've already sent in an ask pls ignore the last one—my memory is super bad rn and i cant really remember if i did or not-)
thank you so much for your kind words !! september went really well and she didn't show up ! i was a bit stressed, and did spend the first two days feeling incredibly sick from stomach cramps. on the bright side, i invited my friend down and spoke to her and her mum about the trauma and they both said that it sounds like i have ptsd (i trust them both on their opinions because my friend has ptsd from something in her childhood that affected her really badly, so she has first-hand experience about living with ptsd). they both suggested that i go to therapy, which i think my parents are warming up to, but we're all concerned about social services getting involved. we've had negative experiences with social services before, and we dont want them making a fuss of things. we're also worried that i might not be believed or that it will get downplayed as 'sibling rivalry.' although, sometimes my parents backtrack and downplay it themselves and say that it 'wasnt that bad' which really, really hurts. i've given up trying to explain how her abuse affected me and i dont really talk about it with my parents anymore, since my mum always brings up something from her childhood which was worse. sometimes i start to wonder if im making it all up for attention, and that my hatred towards her is distorting things...then i remember my lack of memories, a particular event when i was around 12/13 that terrified me, and a mental breakdown i had in the school locker room, in the middle of the day, because of the gaslighting text messages she sent me.
my sister's been causing trouble recently because it was my birthday in early december (the only birthday i can remember was last year's and the year before—i cut her off three months before that first birthday i can remember) and then it was christmas, so she wanted presents. she also changed her name to her birth father's name (we have separate dads, thank god) which upset my mum quite a lot. it didnt help that my mum's side of the family spent christmas together and never invited us down, which sucked and made us realise that, to them, my parents and i aren't very important to my toxic family members. i got over that pretty quickly, though.
i do have a question: how do i comfort myself when im triggered/feeling sad or overwhelmed from the abuse? my dog and rabbit died within three months of each other, and they were my main sources of comfort whenever things got too much or mental illness was too bad. now that they're gone, though, im finding myself feeling quite disconnected from reality—especially now that my rabbit is gone. everything seems more overwhelming then it did before. im not sleeping well, or im sleeping too much (either way im still exhausted when i get up) and i seem to be getting triggered more and more by physical touch and sounds.
thank you so much in advance !! have a nice day :D
Hi again! ❤️
I'm really glad your sister didn't show up during September after all, and really glad you had people around you who were understanding about your trauma.
I'm sorry your parents haven't been as supportive as they should be, though. It's awful that they try to downplay your abuse and tell you they went through worse. If your mum had experiences she considers "worse" than yours, then she should go to therapy herself so she can talk about them, and not use them to downplay your own experiences. Trauma isn't a competition, and what matters isn't who had it "worse". What matters is what each individual person needs so they can be safe and eventually heal and/or learn to live with their trauma. I'm glad you have proof of your sister's abuse that you can resort to when doubt starts creeping in. But just in case you need to hear it: no, you are not making anything up for attention. Your sister abused you.
Ugh, it sucks that she caused trouble again during Christmas and your birthday. It's great that you got over all of it quickly, but you shouldn't have to put up with her or any toxic family member's crap.
Also, I'm really sorry for your loss :( It's always hard to lose a pet, but I can't imagine how devastating it must be when they were your main source of comfort when triggered.
Here is a list of healthy coping skills you can check out. Since your pets used to help you, maybe you can try soothing yourself through touch, like using stuffed toys, blankets or soft clothes. They might have the same effect as holding your pets close did. Smells can also be very helpful; have you got any blankets that smell like them? Are there any other smells in general that you like and that you can carry around with you?
Something that can also help is to make an easily accessible list of things that soothe you as you find them. You can make it (and update it) when you're feeling fine, and that way, you'll be able to look at it when you get triggered and you won't have to come up with ways to soothe yourself when you're already in that state of emotional distress.
Alongside the list, you can even have an emergency box filled with things that bring you comfort, like soft toys, fidget toys, things that smell nice, or anything else you can think of that might distract you or make you feel better. When I made mine, I filled it with sticker sheets because stickers soothe me, and also with lists of all my comfort shows, movies and videogames.
Other than that, have you considered adopting another pet? It' might not be a possibility, but if it is, I think it could really help, since you already know that being near animals when you're triggered helps you calm down.
Hope some of this helps, and hope you're doing well. Sending a big virtual hug ❤
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blurring-ramblimgs · 11 months
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I'm not suicidal I did not try to kill myself.
I remember the memories of that night clearly. The song I played as my 12 year old self found it too hard to continue on. The night was the same as it had been those many times before. I wasn't struggling, not really. It was just the only night where I found I didnt care if my mother found me on the couch, dead and cold to the touch.
I cant imagine doing that to her anymore.
I didnt attempt.
I mean, sure by all definition and means I did attempt, I did down those pills with the intention to simply not exist a few hours later.
By definition, the dictionary says I did.
I find the dictionary lacks some things within it sometimes.
I didnt attempt, I remind myself as I stumble across a poem about being passively suicidal.
I didnt attempt I assure myself as I remember writing down that note.
I didnt attempt I yell at myself because I barely even felt ill after.
I didnt attempt because there is no feeling behind what I did.
There was no sadness, no sorrow no grieving no anger. My memories arent even from a first person perspective. Ive detached myself so far from those memories it feels like a dream.
It wasnt an attempt.
It was too weak of one to count.
Attempts are supposed to be out of desperation right?
I didnt attempt.
I didnt.
I did not.
I think that, the idea that I didnt is far simpler to accept then facing the thought that I did.
That scares me
Not alot of things scare me now, but that scares me.
That thought scares me more than death.
How ironic.
I feel bad for it.
I feel bad for making my parents cry because I was too weak to handle the life they gifted me with.
They didnt do anything wrong
Im sorry for making you cry mom, dad.
I don't deserve your tears, not because of my mistakes.
Sometimes I find my thoughts drifting to self harm. Ive never done it before, ive been too much of a wimp to actually try. Thoughts of cutting myself pop into my brain and the image projects itself onto my arms as I stare at my hands and wonder the best place to put them so I could hide them easily.
Im not Scuicidal. Not anymore.
But sometimes those thoughts still haunt me. And im scared.
And that's a good thing.
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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Intro and masterlist
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✨about me ✨
this is a mature blog, I trust all minors to be responsible and avoid everything marked NSFW!
NSFW sideblog: @pervstash-spencer
Hi! my name is emily, I'm 23 she/they
Capricorn, bisexual, non-binary, autistic, and I have fibromyalgia ✌🏻 overall just a fun time y'know.
ao3
i love: supernatural, star trek, marvel movies, criminal minds, this is us and grey's anatomy !!
Accepting requests for Spencer Reid x Reader fics currently
all my tags are listed below if you want to see other posts about said fics, also here is my Spotify for the fics <3
Dad!spencer Masterlist
First times Masterlist**
all links to my fics below the cut!
Updated: July 28th, 2021
** for smut
~~ for angst
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Spencer Reid x Reader fics
Hypothetically**~ Ao3 | Tumblr -- 27 chapters, complete. 89k
reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.
friends to lovers, case of the week style story
touch me**~ Ao3 | Tumblr 5.8k
Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.
amethyst you so much P1 Ao3 | Tumblr 6.4k
Spencer has had a crush on Y/N since she started working at the bau. She only ever works the night shift after a case, handling all the aftermath gracefully. one night, Spencer stays back and they strike up a conversation about rocks, causing their feelings to dig a little deeper.
of quartz i will P2** Ao3 | Tumblr 6K
after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.
Amoreena**~ Ao3 | Tumblr Completed 83k
Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.
Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.
Seven* Tumblr WIP
Summary: Spencer’s been married to Y/N for 7 years now, they have 7 children together and each one is going through something different. Spencer’s always wanted to be the best dad, now he gets to figure out how to be.
the guy at the rock show Ao3 | Tumblr 5.6K
Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.
journey to Camelot** Ao3 | Tumblr 3.8K
When Penelope introduces Spencer to online games, he expects to be spending his nights alone. Yet, somehow every time he comes back from a bad case, he logs on to chat with the ever so lovely user FairlyGwen and getting a lot more than just a helpful tip from her.
Exploration** Ao3 | Tumblr 4.7K
request: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room
Expedition** Tumblr 1.2K
Summary: there's a first time for everything... including joining the mile high club with your boyfriend on the work jet.
10 Days Ao3 | Tumblr 1.4K
it's spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are.
ain't it fun?** Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist 11K
reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.
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spencer and reader have been spending the last month together in the same hotel room during a pretty brutal case. tension has been rising and she's completely in love with him.
what happens when they both think the other won't be back for a while and they want to shower?
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the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.
Being Neighbourly** Tumblr 1.9K
Request: reader is Spencers neighbour and she can hear him masturbating every night that he's home how do you have her deal with that?
Professional Hair Dresser (Ph.D)** Tumblr 6.4K
summary: after Spencer's knee injury, he starts visiting a salon every week to get his hair washed
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New Romantics** Tumblr 23k
Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.
Million Dollar Man** | Tumblr WIP 5k so far
summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.
Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea** | Y/N version | 1-4, 5-9, Epilogue 25.6k
Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.
Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.
Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Spencer x Ethan
Ruin it.** Tumblr 5.4K
Summary: Spencer never had sleepovers as a kid, so now that he's an adult he's always sleeping over at Ethan's house, ad he'll take any excuse to crawl into bed beside him.
Warnings: mutual pining, love concessions, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex (both top and bottom spencer in this), childhood friends to lovers
400 Celebration fics
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Spencer and Y/N's kids think that they are secretly spies and request a mission story before bed.
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Princess Y/N is betrothed to the Viking king in an effort by her father to keep the peace between their countries, he doesn't expect her to join in the fight to free Scottland.
Luke x Reader
Best Dad Ever 2.8K
Request: angst with a happy ending, reader and luke have been divorced for a few years but have a child, she tries and tries to fall out of love with him but he's around so often that she can't
Spencer x OC
Sugar Honey Ice Tea** Ao3 | WIP 9/10 chapters complete 25.6K
Fix-it-fic: Dr. Beth Pattinson and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.
Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.
Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It Ao3 | Tumblr WIP 6K+
Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.
Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU
Spencer x OC Peggy Carr
Franklin x Reader
Voulez-Vouz** | 3.2k
Summary: in a small town, everyone knows each other… or at least they think they do.
Warnings: porn with plot, smut, Dom reader, Sub!Perv!franklin, making out, teasing, face sitting, oral (female and male), hand jobs, overstimulation, prostate message, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot anything.
Chip x Reader
forever is the sweetest con** | 6.2K
Summary: Reader’s dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they’re lucky, they get his daughter’s number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.
Warnings: reader’s mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.
Raymond x Reader
Alone Together ** | 2.4K
Summary: Raymond moves into a haunted house and ends up sleeping with the ghost who lives there... only he doesn't know that when you fuck a ghost you also become one.
Warnings: details of suicide and murder, blowjobs, pegging, bottom!raymond, top!reader, becoming a ghost, major character death.
Star Trek Masterlist
Star Wars fix it fic
Supernatural masterlist
thanks for all the love, as always,
-Emily <3
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bokutosworld · 3 years
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home sweet home | hq boys with their kids! 
character/pairing: msby black jackals boys with their kids - hinata, atsumu, bokuto, sakusa!
wc: 1.5k words, pure fluff!
summary: when they finally get a much-deserved break from volleyball, there's nothing that the boys want more than to spend time with their little ones. but what do they do if you're not around for the day?
a/n: inspired by my fave korean show the return of superman! i just cant stop imagining how the boys would be like if they were left on their own with their kids<3 hehe
part two with schweiden adlers trio here!
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HINATA SHOYO He wakes up feeling warm. When Hinata opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is the sight of his adorable son laying peacefully on his chest. He brings his hands to ruffle his messy hair, the little boy pressing his cheeks closer to his father's body. It's been a long time since Hinata felt relaxed in the morning, and he honestly thinks that he could stay in this moment forever. But after a few minutes, he finally gets up and stirs the little boy in his arms awake.
"Dad? Where's mom?" Seiji asked, his bright, inquisitive eyes mirrored Hinata's own and he felt proud that his son took after him. He explains that you were off to your parents' house for the weekend and this makes the five-year-old pout. Despite looking a lot like him, Hinata knew that Seiji was a mama's boy and, though he wouldn't admit it, sometimes felt jealous that you were hogging all of his son's attention. So he was over the moon to have time alone with the boy.
"But don't worry! The two of us will have a great all-boys weekend," he declares. All of a sudden Hinata lifts Seiji over his head and places him on his shoulders. The little boy then got excited, starting to loosen up and laugh as they ran out to the living room. "Wow, look at that, Seiji, you are flying!"
With his dad's hands carefully holding him tight, Seiji felt safe and extended his arms in the air as they playfully circled the house. When they got tired, the two boys collapsed on the sofa. Hinata reached over his to mini-me, wiping some sweat that has formed on his forehead, "Are you hungry now? What do you want dad to make for breakfast?"
Seiji looks up at his dad expectantly, waving his fists excitedly with a big smile on his face, "Can we do that again?" And Hinata happily complies, already looking forward to a great father-son bonding.
MIYA ATSUMU "Papa, can we pwease go to Uncle Osamu's shop today?"
This was the third time Atsumu heard the request from his daughter. The four-year-old has taken a strong liking to his twin, and while Atsumu mostly finds this endearing, he wonders if she likes Osamu better than him. He takes the little girl from her sitting position on the floor and sets her on his lap, brushing some strands of hair that have fallen.
"Aya, do you like Uncle Osamu more than me?" As if on instinct, the little girl shakes her head. Worried that she might hurt herself, Atsumu cups her cheeks to stop her movement, but only to be shocked to see that tears are threatening to spill from her doe eyes. Shit, he thinks. "Okay, darling. Don't cry." He brings her to an embrace in an attempt to calm her down. "Let's get you ready, huh. We'll ask free food from Uncle."
When the door to Onigiri Miya opens, Aya immediately goes to Osamu's side, slipping past the counter and running to his open arms. Osamu lifts her up, "Hello there, little girl. Do you want to cook with me today?" She beams and nods her head enthusiastically, waving a hand to her dad who was standing by the door. "Hey, 'Tsumu. Just take a seat wherever, we won't be long here!"
This was the fourth time this week that they have been to his brother's shop. At this rate, he might as well have Aya sleepover with Osamu and let her spend time with her cousins. He opens his camera and takes a selfie, along with a message that he sends to you. Back at Uncle Osamu's again. She loves food just as much as you, it reads. He hears a bell coming from the kitchen, followed by a pitter-patter of footsteps. When he looks up from his phone, he sees Aya running towards him holding a plate with a small riceball on it.
"Papa, look! I made it for you," she excitedly tells him. Atsumu is touched by the gesture, taking the plate to place it on the table and tacking his daughter in a hug. He peppers her cute face with kisses and Aya is giggling, her laughter fills the Onigiri Miya shop. Osamu smiles and takes a photo of the father and daughter.
"I'm so happy, Aya, thank you." Before Atsumu eats it though, he makes sure to take a photo of her masterpiece. Our little chef made this, he proudly captions it before sending it to you.
BOKUTO KOUTAROU When you left Bokuto alone with your two kids, he was confident that he can handle them on his own. But boy, was he wrong. The whole house has been turned upside down with the seven-year-old Naoki jumping all over the place, and the two-year-old Suki crying on her baby chair. Not to mention their golden retriever barking to add to the chaos.
Sighing exasperatedly, Bokuto approaches Suki first, taking her from the chair and swaying to calm her down. He's having a staring contest with the dog, Tama, as his eldest son continues to wreak havoc. Then an idea pops up in his head.
"Naoki, what do you think of taking Tama out for a walk?" The playful boy stops in his tracks, turning slowly to look at his dad. Bokuto moves closer to him and grins. He knows how the young boy has always wanted to walk the dog, only you were opposing in fear that he might let go of the leash. But Bokuto has complete trust in him, and if things go south, he could always chase the dog. He crouches to his son's level, looking at him in the eyes, "We'll keep it a secret from Mom. What do you--"
Before he could even finish his statement, Naoki was already putting on the dog's collar and leash. Bokuto smiles and walks to the kids' room to change Suki's clothes. He pulls out a baby pink dress and carefully dresses his daughter. He also pretties her up, tying her hair in two ponytails with pink ribbons. When they finish getting ready, the trio proceed to walk in the park.
He notices that Naoki is much more behaved and more mature this time, thinking that he definitely looks the part as an older brother. Feeling much more at ease, Bokuto walks with a spring in his step, subtly bouncing the little girl who is strapped to his chest. Suki giggles at his father's actions, and he can't help but kiss her forehead.
"Hey, dad," Bokuto hears Naoki quietly call out to him. He sees the big smile on his son's face and feels like a proud dad. "Thanks for letting me walk Tama." Oh, you bet he was going to brag to you about today.
SAKUSA KIYOOMI Sakusa and his six-year-old daughter, Shiomi, were currently taking a vacation at your parents' house. As much as you wanted to come along with them, work held you up and you had to send off your daughter and husband, wishing them a good time in the countryside.
It's been three days and the little girl has been enjoying time with her grandparents. Sakusa could feel his heart warming whenever he watches her helping her grandmother doing household chores or when she is sitting in the garden and reading a book to her grandfather. He knows how you never want to miss a moment of your daughter's life so he sends you random snapshots and videos throughout the day.
He was lounging on the tatami in the living room, a book in his hands, when Shiomi came running to him. The little girl tugged on his hand, "Papa, come with me! We're planting a tree!" Completely smitten by her, he puts down the book and goes along with her to the back garden.
Shiomi helps him put on some gloves and hands him gardening boots. "Wear these so your feet don't get dirty!"
As soon as he wears them, the two of them proceed to get their tools and start working in the garden. Time always seem to pass quickly when one is having fun, and before Sakusa knows it, they have planted three sprouts of trees and sowed vegetable seeds in the family garden. He glances at Shiomi who is still full with energy, her eyes shining as she proudly looks at her work.
Sakusa hurriedly takes out his phone. "Honey, come here." He beckons her, and removes his glove before wiping a towel to her face. "Let's show Mama what we did today."
Shiomi goes to the other side of tree, pointing at it before displaying the widest grin. Sakusa sets the front camera and their faces are shown on the screen. With the biggest smiles on their faces, he takes a photo and sends it to you, the caption reading: We missed you. Planting is fun!
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alreadyblondenow · 3 years
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One is a big number | Lee Taeyong
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❤︎ Taeyong x female!reader ❤︎ Very fluffy, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, Highschool AU, Strangers to lovers, Love Alarm universe, Love Alarm au? ❤︎ 1/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry  One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: Under the universe of Love Alarm, you rang Lee Taeyong’s Love Alarm loud and proud and you as a new girl at the school, has his attention more than anything else. 
Word count: 7,682k
Warnings: Protected sex, loss of virginity, touching, teasing, making out, corruption, goodbye innocence, mentions of first base to home run, taeyong having a boner while kissing, all that high school exploring in bed while Taeyong’s parents are not home, Trusting an app regarding love, swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of other idols
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. This will be very fluffy because I wanted to start February on a light note. hehe. Also, this is inspired by First Love by NCT 127 under Loveholic’s single. It’s a good thing that I finished this before they announced that First Love is all about your first... love... hahaha so I had time to incorporate in more with my fic. As always, I enjoy writing for my Bubu. Happy reading! 
For NCT-WRITER’S FEBRUARY EVENT, LOVE ALARM @nct-writers​ 
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Can you still remember your first love? The day you met and the day you realized you officially like that person? 
When that one person hold your hand for the first time? Did he kept you close and kept you warm? 
When that one person kissed you for the first time? How did it feel?
When you had your first fight, how did you fixed it? 
Do you remember the time when you realized that, that one person is slowly slipping into your hands?
When that one specific person broke your heart? 
Do you remember it?
It’s been over four years since Love Alarm has been launched and they’ve been using it for almost everything. The world seemed to have progressed a lot now that we have Love Alarm in our phones but did it really made our lives easier? Especially when it comes to love? 
Walking to school on a beautiful day, your first day as a transferee... what could possibly go wrong? As you enter the school premises, you see students holding their phones like they’re waiting for something or someone. Perhaps they’re waiting for someone to ring their Love Alarm? Who knows? 
“He’s here!” A rather excited student exclaimed and brought out her phone and grabbed her friend. You being the only clueless student right now turned your back too to see the man they’ve been waiting for.
He was like a celebrity when he stepped on the first few steps upon the school’s entrance. Lee Taeyong, a senior. Very good looking, smart, athletic, and voted junior prom king. He literally looks like an angel walking in the middle of the school’s entrance together with his friends who look liked angels too. Their Love Alarm rang so much as they walk in front of the new and old students, making fun of each other and having a bet on whose Love Alarm will ring the most. 
You looked at him. You looked at his face like you don’t already know that it’s impolite to stare at someone, but you still did because Lee Taeyong is handsome. And you’re not immune to his charms. What a good way to start school, you thought. It’s only the first day but you feel like you’re going to have a blast as long as you see Lee Taeyong around. 
From there on Lee Taeyong has become your crush and your heart thumps so hard whenever you ring his Love Alarm every morning like the other girls. For you, there’s no shame in ringing his Love Alarm, you’re glad it does that. At least you’re being honest to him in silence and let the alert from Love Alarm do the talking. But even though you ring his Love Alarm again and again and again, you never wish for him to ring your Love Alarm back, no. He deserves someone perfect like him. 
Day by day and whenever you see him around, you look at him to feed your heart and eyes then look away again and ignore him as if you didn’t ring his Love Alarm loud and proud. It frustrates him you know, but in a good way. He now recognizes you as the new girl who rings his Love Alarm every day but seems to don’t care about him enough. In other words, you’re not like the other girls. 
You know that good feeling when you go to school and you’re looking forward to seeing your crush even just for a few seconds? That’s what Lee Taeyong feels for you. With just a couple of weeks of ringing his Love Alarm, you had the man thinking about you and wanting to know you. Sometimes he can’t understand Love Alarm. He is completely sure that he likes you already and he is very interested in you, but he can’t ring your alarm. 
Have you ever had that good feeling when your crush is around and you are free to look at him no matter how long you want and whenever he caught you staring you just avoid his eyes? It’s like playing chicken but you’re both enjoying the game, he smiles at you and brings up his phone as if he’s telling you ‘Thank you for ringing my Love Alarm again’ and you just smile at him, completely clueless that he’s starting to flirt. 
“Why don’t you just ring her Love Alarm back?” Doyoung asked. 
“Cant. For some twisted reason, I can’t ring her Love Alarm. That’s why I can’t make a move and can only flirt back, I want to trust Love Alarm” Taeyong says, eyes completely glued to you but you don’t know that because you’re busy reading.
“Maybe you don’t really like the girl?” Doyoung blurted out. Lee Taeyong didn’t really want to admit it with his friend but maybe he’s right.
“The Lee Taeyong flirts back now huh? And to a new girl? Interesting” Johnny swings his arm to his friend and ruffles his hair. Teasing him for flirting back at you because he saw Taeyong smiled in your direction. 
“Am I not allowed to flirt?” Taeyong snorted and turned off his Love Alarm when he saw the place getting crowded already. “It’s senior year, I need to change” he added. 
“So changing your relationship status is a good start? Hmm. Okay, I agree with you on that. But don’t waste your time if you're unsure,” Johnny explains. But Lee Taeyong doesn’t care, he looks at you as you gather your books thinking of many ways to start talking to you and secretly wishing he can ring your Love Alarm back. But for now, he just can’t. 
While you were studying at the library, you can’t help but remember how Lee Taeyong thanked you for ringing his alarm.... he fucking thanked you, that must be something? He isn’t thanking every single person who rings his alarm, just you. You smile at that thought which you think is crazy but a girl can dream. Then again you remember that you’re studying and shook your head for the nth time to stop yourself from thinking about your senior. 
When you finally focused on studying and finished tons of school work, you didn’t notice that it’s already dark outside and that going home alone would be scary but you have no choice. You walk and walk and walk until you finally reached that scary alleyway you’ve been trying to avoid but it’s your only way home. 
“Hey- don’t go there” 
A familiar voice warned you before you can even start walking, you turned around and wish that you were wrong but you weren’t. It is as if the world heard you thinking about Lee Taeyong and the universe made you meet in an unexpected way. “It’s dangerous there, where are your friends? Is that your way home?” He asked the question like you two were close and talking already, his face looked cold but funny how he makes you feel warm. 
“Yes, this is the only way. Usually, I go home when the sun is still up but I have to study” you explain. 
“I have no choice then. Let me walk you home, my conscience will not let me sleep if I just let you-“
“I can take care of myself, I can easily call my dad. If I refuse your offer, will you still think about me?” You don’t know where the sudden bravery came from but you’re glad you did it.
He was completely shy, blushing and keeping his head down. And that’s the push that Lee Taeyong needed. He held out his hand and introduced himself properly like a decent person would and you did the same. Both hands are shaking because of nervousness but that’s understandable you both thought. “This isn’t how I imagined meeting you officially-“ 
“So you do think about me?” You further tease the blushing man and finally admits the truth and said, “Yes. I do think about you. A lot” it was silent for a few seconds before he started again, “I wish I could ring your Love Alarm too, you make me nervous you know that? Whenever I’m in school I look forward to seeing you, even just for a few seconds” he came closer to you as you grip your bag tightly and the butterflies in your stomach won’t stop flapping their wings when Lee Taeyong put strands of hair behind your ear so he could see you clearly under the lamppost light. 
Either way, you still let him walk you home and cherish every second you could have with your crush. You feel like you’ve won something like you’re winning this nonexistent race with the other girls, you feel happy for yourself. He told you about his day, you told him yours, he made you laugh, you make him shy for no reason. And when you and Taeyong finally reached your house, you exchanged numbers. Now you can tell that you’re winning something. His attention and interest.
“I hope I can ring your Love Alarm,” he says again, looking at you like it’s going to be the last thing he’ll do. 
“That’s fine, ring mine when you’re ready. We can’t rush romance, even when Love Alarm is involved” you watch him let out a small laugh and you think he’s so handsome even when he’s cute. 
“Usually girls get offended when someone they like can’t ring their Love Alarm, but you... you don’t mind waiting” 
You didn’t want to end the moment yet but it’s getting pretty late and he needs to go home too, you told him to stop flirting and go home safe so he can flirt with you some other time. And for the last time, just to wrap this wonderful night, he tilts his head and smiled so sweetly to you and told you ‘good night’ 
That moment you had with Lee Taeyong felt like a pretty damn good song but just like every song, it needed to end. But you will never forget about it. 
After that momentous night with your crush, Lee Taeyong has become a whole entire playlist and a well written album wrapped into one. Every love song you listen to was suddenly all about him he and the man was head over heels to you. He was texting you nonstop even during class, calling you after school and will probably end later at night, and getting the tiniest chance to flirt with you in the morning before you both head to class and meet again by golden hour to walk home together.
Not long after a week of flirting and getting to know each other more, he finally rang your alarm in front of many students in school accidentally. Your eyes went big and Taeyong was as shocked as you are. It was like you have this 10-meter radius for yourselves only and you were both giggling when your Love Alarms went off together. It was a happy moment, definitely one for the books. “Finally” he whispers, standing close to you, not caring if a lot of people are watching. Let them watch, Lee Taeyong thought. So they know you belong to each other now and you have Love Alarm on your side. 
“Are you free this weekend?” He asks while walking you home. 
“Free, but I have to study. What do you have in mind?” you answered as calmly as you could because you have a hunch that he’s going to ask you on a date. 
“Well, now that I can finally ring your Love Alarm, I want to take you out on a proper date” you knew it, “movies?” 
“Sounds fun, as long as it’s scary” he nods and took his phone out of his pocket. 
“Can I ring your Love Alarm again?” He requests which you gladly gave in and opened the app. You two waited for a few seconds for Love Alarm to work its magic. 
Waiting
Waiting 
Waiting
Until the number ‘1’ appeared on your screens and says “Someone within 10-meter radius loves you”. Taeyong sighed in relief and swing his arms around you for a hug and a kiss on the forehead. “That scared me” he admitted. 
Unconsciously, he doesn’t know what his hug and kiss can do to you. While his heart calms as he hugs you, yours is beating so fast like you just ran a mile. There’s that winning feeling again. 
On your first date, he took you to the movies and as promised the movie was scary. It was so scary that he had enough opportunity to hold you close and hold your hand the whole time. The moment your fingers intertwined, you felt some kind of electricity flowing in your body and the movie house suddenly felt warm. “I know, I felt it too” he whispers and went back to watching the movie. 
The next few days with Taeyong was something you’ve never imagine that will happen in your high school life. He has become the epitome of new things and first times. 
He is the first guy to hold your hand in public. Swinging it high, up and down, holding it tight, and he even kisses it whenever he feels like it. Not a day goes by that he didn’t hold your hand or kept you close to him ever since you made it official through Love Alarm. 
He is the first guy to sweep you off your feet, through his sweet words and gentleman gestures. “Can I flirt with you later?” he asks, putting a bottle of juice in front of you before he goes to his next class. ‘Flirt with you’ simply means he wanted to spend time with you before he walks you home. 
Still in your school uniforms, Taeyong brought you somewhere quiet where the river is calm, and just looking at it makes you calm your nerves too. “The sun feels nice, let’s watch the sun go down,” he says lying comfortably on the ground and enjoying the warm grass underneath his body. 
“How’s your day?” you sat beside him and Taeyong was quick to cover your legs with his school coat. He grunted while covering your legs as he remembers how stressful being a senior is. 
“Was having a bad day, when I talked to you earlier. School has been kicking my butt” he says and lies again beside you. “How about you? How's being a new student so far?” 
“So far so good, I have a handsome senior who just made my high school life more interesting” 
He handsomely giggles in front of you, so close that your lips are just inches away. “You’re flirting,” he says. 
“You said you wanted to flirt with me?” you bite back. 
“Mmm-hmm. Can I flirt a little differently today?” he came even much closer to you but you didn’t pull away because you know exactly what he’s talking about. 
And just as you expected, he kissed you. Softly. Holding your chin as he moves his lips on yours while the sun goes down. Your eyes were shut and all you did the whole time your boyfriend was kissing you is return the kiss and savor the feeling of being kissed for the first time. 
When the kiss was over, he did not pull away immediately but looked at your lips for a few seconds as if he wanted to kiss it again but even more fiercely this time but he knew this is not the right time for that. So instead, he kissed your nose and your forehead and flashed a sweet smile at you. Something that you will never forget like the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.   
After that day, kissing became an everyday habit to you and Taeyong and you both love it whenever you get the chance to share a kiss privately. Well, he does kiss you in public, but those are nothing compared to the ones you share inside his room after school and his parents are not yet home. Lee Taeyong’s lips are simply addicting but little did you know that your boyfriend is even more addicted to kissing you. 
“Just one more kiss” he pulls you close to him begging for another kiss before he watches you go inside your house. “One more please” he pouted like the baby that he is. 
You crashed your lips on him and feel both of his hands hold the sides of your head so you won’t pull away from him so easily. But when you do, he simply asks for another kiss and then another other, until you’re basically making out in front of your house. 
“Mmm” he moans like he’s not planning to stop kissing you soon. 
“Tae-“ you giggle and tried pushing away and finally, he stopped. Lips swollen, slightly panting with a…. hard cock. 
“Sorry about that. I- I have no control over that, I’m sorry” he apologizes and tries to hide his boner. You let out a small laugh and fixed his ruined hair with a few pat. 
“You don’t have to be shy, I’m your girlfriend. See you tomorrow, okay? Go home safe!” you slowly walk towards your house, waving your hand goodbye until you see him walk away. 
Just like any new couple, you and Taeyong crave for each other in many ways. After exploring enough with kissing and teasing each other whenever one of you gets too turned on, soon you talk about different levels of physical intimacy freely without being awkward. 
Given that Taeyong is more experienced than you are because you’re a virgin, he knew exactly what to do when it comes to expressing his physical needs to you and making sure that he doesn’t pressure you with anything. 
“So how do I know if what base are we on?” you asked innocently. 
“First base is kissing. Open mouthed kisses, tongue- basically, the things I already did to you or the things we did already” he explains, hands on your waist as you both lie on your sides facing each other. 
“I’m guessing we're way past first base then” you smirked and made him shy. 
“Yeah. Way past first base” he smirked back at you and hovers on top of you. “The second base is more on touching” he emphasized the word ‘touching’ and better explain it by moving his hand from your leg up until he reaches your inner thighs under your school skirt and run up a finger on your slit unexpectedly which made you curl in no time and curse at him. Not because you didn’t like it, but because it felt good and he immediately stopped the teasing. 
You glared at him as if you’re telling him through your eyes to touch you again, be he just snorted and kissed your cheeks. “Don’t hate me. I’m just waiting for the perfect timing” he explains and enjoys how you’re so annoyed but horny.
You let out a sharp sigh and made him continue again. “Third base is giving head or fingering. Oh, you’re going to love third base” he teased you further by just using his words. You pushed him away from you playfully but your boyfriend is strong and caught your hands, “okay okay. Enough teasing, home run is having sex. And come on I have to get you home before I could no longer stop myself” 
He’s not lying because you see the growing tent in his crotch. He’s been stopping himself by teasing you. You sat up when he got out of his bed to change into some much comfortable clothes but when he got back, you teased him by putting on a show. Lifting your skirt slowly just before you reveal your panties and as expected, he stopped you. 
“Don’t tease me, I don’t have a condom right now” it was a warning but it sounded more like he’s begging. 
“I’m just joking” you kissed him on the cheek and got up from your comfortable position to fix your wrinkled school uniform before you head home.   
Tonight, you attend a party with Taeyong for the first time and his Love Alarm kept on ringing the moment he stepped into the room. 
Every day, Lee Taeyong rings your Love Alarm and you ring his too.... together with the other girls and quite frankly, you don’t know how long you can stand those girls who fantasize about fucking your boyfriend. He’s your own private buffet, for goodness sake. 
“Don’t drink anything unless I’m the one who gave it to you, okay? I’ll get you something- Doyoung!” he made sure you won’t be alone and called his friend before he leaves. 
“So you’re the lucky girl. Hi, I’m Johnny” he offers you his hand for a handshake and accepted with a smile. 
“Don’t mind Johnny, hi I’m Doyoung. Taeyong’s best friend,” you shake his hand and smiled at them, hoping that you don’t look awkward. They made small talk, asked you how you’ve been and how’s your Junior year going so far which you answered too seriously. Soon, you feel Taeyong’s cold hands on your shoulders and hands you a drink before he shoos his drunk friend Johnny away. 
It was a fun night, but it can be better if the other girls can respect your relationship. You wanted to snap so hard but instead, you focused on how Taeyong kisses your nape, shamelessly while you watch his friends play beer pong and he’s standing right behind you, hands on the front pockets of your jeans like he’s telling those girls he belongs to you. 
But the warm feeling was shortly cut off when they heard Johnny shouting and drunkenly pushing himself to walk straight so he could get a hold of his girlfriend. Everyone heard it. The words, “Johnny were through. I’m breaking up with you” were heard on every corner of the place even under loud party music. 
After hearing those words, you looked at Taeyong like you’re telling him through his eyes that you’re scared. But Taeyong and his other friends were quick to get Johnny and stopped him from making a scene. 
Everything happened so fast. One second Taeyong was beside you, but now you're in the middle of the place alone and watching your boyfriend and his friends carry Johnny outside. 
“Johnny didn’t ring her love alarm today,” Taeyong sits beside you after leaving you alone for a few minutes to talk to his friend. “And if he’s going to be honest he fell out of love. But he wasn’t ready to let her go and wasn’t sure about his feelings, he’s just being paranoid because he’s going to graduate soon” he let out a sharp exhale before he continues, “We're going to graduate soon. I guess Love Alarm caught him having second thoughts for her already” 
“Do you want to leave now?” you asked your boyfriend. He can only nod because he still feels weak about what happened to his friend. 
 The supposedly warm night with Taeyong became cold and quiet. Not because there’s something wrong with your relationship. But because you were both scared of the idea of breaking up. He wanted to tell you he saw the look in your eyes when you heard the words but he figured enough sadness for one night, wrapped his arms around you and told you “I will never let you go” and kissed you on your temple. 
Few days after the party is exams week so you and Taeyong didn’t see each other that much. But by the time it’s over, he waited for you outside the school and you know he’s the one waiting for you because he rang your Love Alarm. 
While walking to his house, it suddenly rained so hard that the raindrops hurt your skin. But instead of avoiding the rain, Taeyong pulled you in the middle of an empty street and kissed you under the rain. 
It was so sweet. 
His arms were perfectly wrapped around your body while yours is placed behind his lower back. You tiptoe unconsciously so you could reach him well. “I love you,” he says and lifted you off the ground effortlessly for a tight hug. 
“Here wear this” He left some clean clothes on his bed for you to change with while he puts your wet uniform on the dry cleaner. 
When you’re finally dry and clean, you cuddle with Taeyong in his bed wearing his big clothes and listening to the sound of rain with no lights on, but the gloomy sky outside. 
“I saw the way you looked at me the other night” he started. And you tighten your embrace to him as you remember the words and the whole scenario. 
 “I'm just scared and not because I’m doubting your love” you admitted. “I never thought about it you know. That things can go wrong someday-“
“No, no. Then I’ll love you, even more, every day. Don’t be scared please, trust my love” he says and kept you close by putting his legs on your thigh. His big hand is placed under your shirt, drawing small circles on your tummy to give you more comfort. 
“I’m guessing this is second base then?” you teased him to change the mood. 
“Do you want to proceed to that level? Hmm?” he rolls on top of you, teased you, and kissed your neck in a way that seriously turned you on in no time. 
“If you’re brave enough to do it, then go right ahead. I give you my full consent” you reached for his lips and kissed him deeply. You felt him smile during the kiss and also felt his hand slowly lifting your shirt or rather his shirt. Hands roaming your body like he never touched you before, squeezing your butt cheeks and kneading your clothed boobs. To be honest, he’s shy to put his hand inside your clothes but to his shock, you put yours inside his, bravely touched his body, and shamelessly put your hand inside his sweatpants and touched him. 
That made him swallowed his shyness and knead your unclothed breast under the shirt that you’re wearing. Brushing his fingers on your nipples softly, pinching them to make giggle. 
After a few minutes of intense touching, he was slightly tugging the sweat pants that you’re wearing and asked you, “Do I still have your consent if we proceed on third base?” He whispers oh so sexily beside your ear which made you remember what he told you, ‘you’re going to love third base’ and that is enough for you to nod and give him further permission. 
He kissed you on the lips, his way of saying ‘thanks’, and proceeds to lift your shirt and suck your nipples which made you moan his name and grip his locks so tight that he needed to reach for your hands and intertwine them with his. 
Lee Taeyong showed you who is in bed and you can't help but think that you’re the luckiest girl on Earth. 
“Hey, you okay? You’re spacing out, I think should-“ 
“Don’t stop” you moaned and grabbed his head for a deep kiss. You reach for his hand and made him knead your boobs while you kiss and grind on each other and in a matter of minutes you felt him putting his hand inside your panties while he distracts you with the way he kisses you. He flicks his fingers once and you curled immediately, legs wide open so he could freely move his hand. But soon his patience went thin and removed your panties, throwing it on the side of the bed before spreading your legs even more wider. 
“Do you like this side of me?” He whispers on the shell of your ear and bit it eventually making you tickle and giggle with parted lips. 
“I definitely do” you moan out. 
And for the main event under third base, he kissed your body all the way down until he meets your wet entrance. Kissing your inner thighs first before he proceeds to drive you wild with his tongue. 
First, he parted your wet folds, looked you straight in the eye, and licked you like you’re his favorite flavored ice cream. “Tae-“ is all you can moan out and decided to put your hands above your head and grab hold of his headboard. Which he didn’t like so he stopped and told you, “touch me, I like that” 
And so you did. Gripping Taeyong’s locks as he makes you feel good with his tongue. Putting a finger inside your cunt and flick his tongue faster together with his finger, making you cum in no time and crushing your boyfriend’s head with your legs. “Stop- stop” you cry out because of over sensitivity. “You weren’t going to stop eating me unless I told you so” 
He smirked and hummed because you’re right. He gave you a few minutes to catch your breath, taking that time to strip himself naked without you noticing. And when you finally came back from your high, he kisses your lower stomach and there you see your boyfriend all naked and really horny. 
“I want to have sex,” he shamelessly told you, touching your body with care while he waits for your answer. “Can we have sex?” he kisses you more like he’s persuading you. 
“Do you finally have a condom?” You asked with a smile. 
He did not waste any time and get the condom from his drawer, putting it on in front of you. Putting it on in between your wide open legs and very wet slit. 
“Put your arms around me,” he said and you followed immediately. He ran his protected cock on your wet slit, just to make him hard even more but the feeling for you is very different. You are very much aroused, very horny and it already felt good. So when you feel him poke your tight hole and slowly push in finally, your eyes shut close and feel every inch of Lee Taeyong’s cock go inside you oh so fucking slowly until he’s entire inside. 
He grunted and moan directly on your ear and told you, “virgin no more” and kissed you on your temple before he rolls his deep which made you both crazy and even more horny for each other. 
Your tight walls were so wet because of the foreplay that his cock was sliding in smoothly, hurting you good and stretching you right before he fucks you harder. 
“Fucking thin condoms, I feel like I’m fucking you raw,” he said in between thrust and rolling his tongue on your nipple, tugging and biting it as he pleases. 
When he sees you smiling through the pleasure and felt your body more relaxed, he put his mouth on your mouth and made you catch his moans as he fucks you harder and faster, enough for his bed to creak, your body to be dragged on the mattress and your nails to dig on his skin. 
He came hard and had a great orgasm, slowly thrusting deeper as he rides his high and showers you with kisses. Truth be told, he didn’t want to cum just yet but your tight walls did its magic on him.
The moment he pulls out to discard the condom, he went back to kissing your weak body and told you to “Calm down,” oh so sweetly, and eventually giggled when he saw you still breathing heavily.
“How can I calm down if you’re kissing me like that?” 
“Okay I’ll stop,” he says and pulled down your shirt to cover your exposed body, reached for your panties, and helped you wear them again then covered you with his thick sheets. “Better?” 
“Yes, thank you” you smiled weakly at him and watched him get dress again before he joins you under the covers.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, hoping that you’re okay. “Are you hurt somewhere?” 
“How many girls did you bring here before me?” You watch your boyfriend’s eyes get big upon hearing your question, “I’m joking. And no, nothing hurts. I’m just processing everything that happened. How about you? What are you thinking?” 
“I’m thinking about you, how I want you to be the last girl I have sex with in this bed” it was a joke because he only brought a total of two girls into his room. His first girlfriend and you. 
“Buy a new bed or I’m breaking up with you,” you said with a straight face but he clearly knew you’re joking. 
They say that being close with your partner emotionally, physically, and even sexually can strengthen a relationship. And right now, as you celebrate seven months of being in a relationship with Taeyong, you believe in that saying because you’ve been closer than ever after being intimate for the first time. In other words, the sex was a good way to strengthen your relationship. 
“Why do you love reading so much?” he asks, totally jealous over reading a good book rather than talking to him. 
Taeyong is busy nowadays because he’s graduating in a few weeks and he’s part of the prom committee because he has seriously good leadership skills. That’s why maybe he wanted more attention.
“Oh! I'm gonna miss you when you graduate” you pinch his cheek and sat closer to him. “Will you be fine being away from me?” You teased him but your question was serious. 
“No, I will not be fine. I will miss you every day- can we please talk about something else before I start crying?” he attacked you with kisses on the cheek but the moment was cut off when Johnny pullovers to fetch your boyfriend. 
“Have fun shopping for prom decorations with the boys rather than being in bed with me” you whisper to him while you both wear your bags and walk towards Johnny’s car. 
“I love you, go home safe, okay? I’ll call you as soon as we're done” 
During your walk alone, it felt nice to do something without Taeyong for once. Not that you wanted him to be gone, no. It’s just that nowadays, things have been becoming like a routine and less of a relationship. You go to school, see him before class starts, see him again after school, and go home together. Then you do it again the next day. Like you don’t have any more doors to unlock in this relationship. 
But what do you expect? You’re high school students. 
“Are you done studying?” 
“I can’t study tonight, my brain feels tired” you whine through the phone, eyes closed and thankful that it’s going to be the weekend tomorrow. “How about you?” 
“Well, Johnny accidentally broke a few lights so we need to fix it before we go home. I’m tired, I miss you” 
“Mmm. I’m tired too...” your voice was a little groggy. 
“And? Do you miss me too? Can I see you tomorrow?” 
“Tae, we just saw each other five hours ago and no, I want to enjoy my weekend by staying home and watching Netflix” 
“So you’re not having fun when we're out together?-“ 
“I never said anything like that” you opened your eyes because the conversation is getting pretty serious, “Don’t be angry, I just want some time for myself you know? We see each other every day, talk through text every hour, it’s like there’s no more room to breathe” you wish you can properly tell him what you’re feeling but those are the words that came out from your mouth. 
“Time for yourself, huh. Okay” and just like that, he ended the call. No ‘good night’ or ‘i love you’. And even though you’re sleepy and things escalated quickly, you heard the tone of his voice like a mixture of, annoyed and hurt. 
Instead of having a good night's sleep, you stayed up all night thinking about what you said to your boyfriend. Analyzing every word and repeating the scenario in your head, over and over again. If telling him what you want was wrong, then you don’t know what’s right anymore. 
On the next day, you sent him a few messages telling him that you’re sorry and that you didn’t mean to put it that way. You even told him you wanted to see him, hoping that he will finally get back to your messages. But still, he never replied. The whole weekend.  
Come Monday, you didn’t get to see Taeyong in the morning like you usually would because you and your friends did your group project together last minute. And the truth is, you’re starting to hurt because you feel bad for being honest even though you didn’t intend to hurt him like that. 
“I think you’re being too clingy” Doyoung protest to his friend during lunchtime.
“Girls love clingy boyfriends-“ 
“Well, unfortunately not your girlfriend. Give her some space, don’t make her all about you, you know?” 
“I just want every time I could get with her before I graduate. B-but, yeah. Now I’m giving her the time that she wanted for herself-“
“But you’re hurting her. She’s worried, she just wanted you to return her messages dude” Johnny pats his back and gave him the look like he’s saying ‘fix this before Love Alarm screw the situation further’ 
And while Taeyong is enjoying his lunch with his friends, you’re with your friends at the school bleachers watching the other sections use the field. Talking about hot boys, prom dresses, and what to do after prom.
“Did Taeyong asked you to prom already? Was it romantic?” you see the excitement of your friend as she asked you the question and see the others wait for your answer. 
“N-no. He hasn’t” the once cheerful faces were replaced by disappointment. Come to think of it, maybe he will not ask you to prom because of this stupid fight. You shook your head and returned the question to them and pretended that you care who’s taking them. But deep inside you envy them. 
School was always exhausted and you don’t know why you’re suddenly tired. Usually, after school and you meet Taeyong outside, you still have a lot of energy left. And maybe that’s it, Taeyong’s cheerful energy and happy aura are the ones recharging you after a day in school. That’s when you realized that you don’t need to push him away just so you can breathe.
Speaking of the devil, you see him leaning on Johnny’s car the moment you stepped out of the school grounds. Head down, hands inside his pockets, and waiting for you. 
The moment you stepped inside that 10-meter radius, his Love Alarm rang and he knew it was you. But the problem is, your Love Alarm didn’t ring this time. 
Taeyong didn’t notice it. Taeyong didn’t notice that your Love Alarm was silent. He still welcomed you with a tight hug, kissed your face one too many times, and said his sorry sincerely. It felt nice that you are now okay, he’s talking to you again and on top of that he apologized. Of course, you didn’t want to ruin that peace anymore and pretended that you’re not hurt.   
Few days went by and Taeyong hasn’t rung your Love Alarm and he’s too busy to notice it. Senior year is making him busy and you have nothing against that. Yes, you do miss him but he calls you before you sleep and quickly apologizes whenever he feels like he’s being a clingy boyfriend again. 
“N-no. Please, be clingy. I’m sorry for that night, I don’t know what I’m thinking” you sounded desperate but he doesn’t know why. 
“Okay, just making sure we don’t fight again” 
And few days before prom, he still hasn’t asked you yet while your friends all have dresses already and plans for that night. It sucks, but you don’t want to get mad at Taeyong for not asking you to prom because he’s busy. 
On a quiet afternoon after school, you’re waiting for Taeyong outside the school while reading a book, and page by page you digest every word just so you could stop thinking about prom. And just as you least expected it, your boyfriend asked you to prom on page 127 of the book that you’re reading. 
 “Will you go to prom with me?” -T.Y 
Then it hit you. You started reading this book on the day prom was announced so basically he asked you ever since day 1 and he has been waiting for your answer for weeks already. He just keeps on giving you more reasons to ring his Love Alarm loud proud, while you give him nothing to make him ring yours.  
“Finally. Hi” 
You didn’t know he was right behind you and his kiss brought you back on Earth. He was smiling handsomely and proud because his surprise worked on you, even though it took you a while to answer his question your reaction was worth it. 
“You know my answer Tae. And to be honest I thought you forgot about asking me” you finally admitted, but your lack of faith in him didn’t hurt him one bit. 
“Perfectly fine,” his arms swing around your waist and pulled you closer to him while you're sitting on the bench. “I’m free now and I don’t have prom committee duties. Can I flirt with you tonight?” the way he said it sounded just like old times, like the days when you were just starting as a couple. 
The flirting was continued in his room of course, with his thick curtains down, Netflix playing and hands intertwined the whole time. And after the movie, you two cuddled in bed with you on top of him and just listening to his heartbeat. 
“Does your heart beats for me?” you asked soft, hoping he would tell you the truth. 
“Of course, you’re my first love” true. Even though you’re not his first girlfriend, you’re the first girl he ever loved. 
“Your Love Alarm says otherwise Tae. I think I’m not giving you enough reasons to love me” you admitted. “You haven’t rung my alarm ever since our first fight” 
“W-what? Maybe it’s off?” He was panicking, shaking because maybe it’s true. With quick movements, he left you on his bed to get his phone then looked for your phone in your bag and opened the app to see if what you’re saying is true. 
His rang, of course, but yours didn’t. 
“Tae it’s okay- It doesn’t matter. You know you proved to me that you love me even if you can’t ring my Love Alarm” you went beside him and hugged him from behind. Feeling his frustration and anger to himself but your hug helps him a lot. “You tell and show me you love me every day. I can feel it in how you kiss me, how you treat me with respect and how you’re always patient with me. Come on it’s okay, don’t ruin your day” 
To make him feel better, you talked him out of his sulking and convinced him to go back to bed with you which eventually worked. You’re now sitting on top of him, grinding on his crotch, only wearing your panties and his hoodie. You can tell by the way he kisses you that he’s more than sorry about not ringing your Love Alarm and that makes your heart sad too because he didn’t do anything wrong.
“Let’s turn this night around,” you said before removing the hoodie that you’re wearing and making your boyfriend grip your boobs and play with your nipples while you kiss him and distract him as you undo his pants. 
“Clever” and finally he smiles and puts one of your nipples in his mouth, hands inside your panties and spreading your ass cheeks before he inserts a finger in your wet slit. 
After that night, Taeyong had a hard timing accepting that he can’t ring your Love Alarm again even though you told him so many times that it’s okay. Sometimes your conversation escalates too soon and he just ends up arguing with you. Soon fighting has become a weekly thing for the two of you whenever he brings up Love Alarm again. But that’s okay, couples fight and that’s normal. 
On prom night, you purposely did not bring your phone so Taeyong will not try to make your Love Alarm ring. It’s going to be a beautiful night and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. You danced with your boyfriend and went crazy with him on the dance floor, you dance with your friends and ate good food. In other words, you had a great time. 
And when the slow song started to play, everyone’s Love Alarm kept on ringing and people started to confess their feelings. It was amusing to watch and of course, you’re happy for them. But amidst that busy dance floor, that busy place, you and Taeyong had your own 10-meter radius and you don’t need Love Alarm to feel that you love each other. 
“I’m sorry for giving you a hard time these past few days” he started, swaying you under slow music and not caring what's happening around you even though people are very loud and excited. “Let’s stop using Love Alarm. That app lies. I know all too well that I love you and even though I can’t ring your Love Alarm, I sure know how to love you” 
“Mhmm. You do” oh you wanted to kiss him so badly but the teachers are looking. 
“You still love me right?” 
“Of course Taeyong. What kind of question is that?” 
“I know, I just want to hear you say it” he came closer to you and kissed you on your temple when the teachers looked away, “You look beautiful tonight” he added and dance with you more, looking straight into your eyes and thanking you secretly for liking him first. 
Now it's his turn to like and love you forevermore. 
629 notes · View notes
hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years
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Author's Notes ♡:Sooooo I wrote this once with no mythological background and it was so blank because one I half read and two it had no pizzazz. So here I am...enjoying this collab wholeheartedly. For some context the readers dad is Dionysus, yknow the festive, wine maker? So I tried to incorporate that with being a potions maker! Rappa is based on a mix between Behemoths and the Kusarikku, so i wanted him just a big and a bull man hybrid but not fully a Minotaur! I hope whoever reads this enjoy it as much as I did writing it! (Also I’m slowly realizing how much I hope this man)~ bunny ❥
Here’s the lovely masterlist of the others beautiful arts!
Warnings : NSFW again! (◎_◎;)
A use of pet names l, uh some heavy size kink (if you know who I based him on, also is one of my kinks showing yet) , Needy Rappa, breeding, Light cursing, a bit of a pussy job, female oral and a bit of overstimulation.
Word count : About 6.5k (ooof) !
Paring(s) : Bullman! Kendo Rappa x F!Reader
Summary : Being a demigod had perks, you could travel, you had god and goddesses as siblings and family members and of course the power! But what happens when you have to help a stubborn farm...pet?
Enjoy ♡
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Growing up as a demigods daughter who owned a garden on earth was one experience. All types of people, gods, goddesses and hybrids needed her experience with all sorts of plants and other things from nature ; rather it be for healing medicines , a bouquet for an upset lover or for help with livestock growth, [ ] and her parents helped with every little working class they could. As [ ] went from child to young adult she was used to her fair share of men from every place asking for her attention. A human asking for her hand and giving her the bare minimum, a god, wanting to make her a goddess, or just simply flirting to warrant her attention. But alas to them all she gave them no leadway, keeping her same polite smile and overall sweetness to each and every person she dealt with. On a warm day in the heavens as she walked the sky castles grounds she ran into a farmhand, one she remembered worked for Demeter approached her hesitantly, his eyes wandering to the young maidens “U-uh M-miss [ ] right?” The male asked her , her eyebrow raising as a silent answer “Lady Demeter would like to speak with you, she need some help but she did not tell me exactly what” he said with a bow and soon turned to leave. Wondering what the goddess could want she headed to her ranch, watching the cattle and other animals graze. Suddenly the door swung wide, revealing the deity to her “[ ] my favorite niece how are you love!” The tall woman sing songingly yelled, hugging the wide eyed girl “Hello Auntie Dem, im quite alright! Uhm, what seems to be the problem? One of your hands came to get me” [ ] said as she took in the ranch home her harvesting aunt had, all sorts of gains, wheats, fruits and more spewed about in her living room “Ah yes! Your father told me how great youve become with your potions and mixes of herbs, being the daughter of Dionysus im not surprised! I told him to let you grow and do more now look at you, serving us gods and mortals alike!” Demeter went on, handing her confused niece a large apple as she took one for herself. Becoming her to a table by the window they both sat, eating on their fruit as she explained her issue.
“You see, i have a lot of cattle, different kinds, different kins and legacies, but im a bit stuck. My favorite mare, had a child a little while ago and he seemed to just be your average bull at first….but..as time went on he out grew his father, my prized minotaur bull and even his normal cow and bull family.” Taking a glance to the field they watched as the minotaur children and some sheep danced and played, other average cow cults running to join. Sighing Demeter continued “Hes a hybrid, my prized minotaur as his father and well, my biggest and prized heifer as his mother. He wont come out of the shed, doesnt deal with his other kind, minotaur or not. Hes around your age now, getting to be his prime but..he wont converse in the fields. Both his father and mother voiced concerns to me about his health but when i checked on him, hes fine! Fields away under a sun and away from my younger and ready cows! I dont get it! Maybe because hes more human than he is bull, he does have a human face and even body, just taht everything below is...well bull. Tail, those wonderful breeding-” “Auntie!” Before she could finish [ ] was hushing the woman, waving her arms “I get it i get it Bull bottom human top i dont need to hear about his loins!” She pleaded.
Laughing, the goddess reached to a pile of hay, whistling to feed some of the nearby cows “Ah you silly girl, I was only gloating about my finest bull yet! I even tried bringing him mortals but...he crushed them, saying they were too small. Every single one! Younger older it didnt matter, he wanted nothing to do with them and just squashed them like a bug under his hoofs! I'm at my wits end, Im not sure what he needs, and hes so large i cant just let him walk around the palace place, he intimidates the clerks and huffs when talked to!” Dramatically laying against the table she looked to the thinking girl, her eyes shining with an idea “Hey auntie, how about you take me to him, i can see if hes loss any weight or seems sickly anywhere. Where do you think hed be at this time?” [ ] asked “Ah you brave girl, what time is it, almost high noon? He might be in the field but its the one with my giant tree that he likes” Demeter responded, pointing to a large tree up a few fields with nothing much around it but luhs grass. “Doesnt even matter if i put up a fence, he walks on two legs so he just hops over it” She sighed again as the duo headed outside.
Seeing a tall minotaur coming towards them [ ] stopped along Demeter, her goddess aunt speaking “Ah Milvor, how are you and Altine?” “Lady Demeter and I'm guessing this is [ ], we are fine. The misses is in the field now, seeing if she can see our boy” He said. Realizing that this was the after for her case [ ] spoke up “Uhm sir have you noticed anything amiss with er-” “Kendo, his name is Kendo” The Minatour said “Ah yes with Kendo, anything seem to be hurt or missing from his way of life” She asked. “Well..not particularly. Hes always fought some of the other males here so bruises and marks are a common thing we see from him. Besides a broken horn he doesn't have anything major going on. Just that he refuses to be around anyone here. Even us at times when were out with the others” He said solemnly , looking at the girl. Grabbing her hands he pleaded “Please, help our son? I know he can be rude and dismissive but down there our sweet boy is in there, were worried sick about him” Milvor said, a sad moo coming from his approaching wife “Miss i do appreciate you checking on him, I just hope he'd be home soon” A half cow women spoke , coming beside this Kendo’s father “Well i'll do my best, it doesnt sound like hes too hurt or anything serious so i'll make sure to try and get him to be with you both” Giving a reassuring smile [ ] started off, heading to the tree at the top of them hill. Just before she got far Demeter called to her, handing her sweet wheat “Heres some of his snack, he sometimes will come back if we offer him more” She said. Taking the wheat and putting it in the side of her flowing peplos. Soon with enough treading uphill , she got close to the tree , soon seeing a tail swish from in front of the tree. Hesitantly she walked forward before seeing hooved legs, also covered in black fur, pop out from the tree. Placing a hand at the side that had no person on it she peeked over to in fact , find a rather giant back in the sun, small flecks of freckles on the toned skin. Holding her gift closer she walked to the male before hearing a snort “ ‘M tellin’ ya Elinor I dont want nothin’ to do with ya, go on, go back to the heard” A rough and deep voice said, a larger hand coming up to wave off whoever was behind him. Feeling a bit bad for this mysterious Elinor and offended, she was brushed off [ ] walked closer , standing at the ends of his legs until the male growled. “I told ya to-'' Stopping himself from yelling once he turned around he was surprised to find not hybrid named Elinor but in fact the small [ ] her eyes widening as amber ones looked down “Yer not Elinor” He said as [ ] giggled “And im guessing youre Kendo” She said as the bull sat up, cruising his legs and the curious woman in front of her. “Whos askin?”
He huffed as [ ] looked at him as she did the same , sitting across from the hybrid “A…. doctor of sorts. Your parents, along with Goddess Demeter asked me to come check on you, see how youre doing” she said as he huffed again “ ‘M fine, now why did they send you” He said as he watched her pull things out, paper , a quill, ink and is that..? Pointing to the bustle of wheat he called out “Is that… for me?” Blinking [ ] looked at the almost childish Kendo, smiling as she untied the snack “It is for you, I heard you liked it. Brought it in the hopes youd talk to me?” She questioned, holding a piece out for him to take. Hesitantly he did, gnawing at it as he hummed in delight, his tail swishing. “ So uhm… Doc what do want to know” He asked, watching as the smaller girl touched his chest and arms, squeezing lightly as she wrote down different things “If ya wanted to touch me ya shouldve asked” He teased, taking his own hand to her face. Felling he face warm up she moved back, poking him with a finger “Now now be good im just seing if youre injured. Besides that horn, do you have anything broken or doenst feel well?” She asked as she waved a pisces of wheat, making him focus. “Nah, im as fit as a fiddle” Side eyeing his response she still gave him a piece , hearing him hum in delight as she wrote more notes.
“So no injuries, no pain , nothing?” shaking his head he continued to eat , taking some pieces from her bundle as she reached for the uneatten pieces “Hey! No you get these as a reward for answering me not to eat at your leisure!” She scolded. Reaching as far as she could she grabbed at his hand before he lifted them higher, smirking “Well miss doc i want what i want, and I want my snack” He said before she grabbed his arm, poking a manicured nail at it hand “Well Kendo ill let you have it if you tell me whats wrong, without covering it up deal?” Feeling him flinch at her poking she did it again until he moved away , glaring at her through his bangs that hung low “Fine! Stop poking me though, ya nails hurt! And theres nothing wrong, i just dont like ‘em cows! They stink!” He said as he knelt closer, moving her from his arm. “They stink? How old are you 5? Why do they stink!” [ ] huffed back as he chewed more of his treat, looking to the flustered girl “Im 22 in human years little girl , and like i said they stink! Reeks like open sores and meat” He said as he kept eating , laying in the sun. Thinking over his words it dawned in her what he could be talking about “And what do i smell like Kendo?” [ ] asked, catching the half bull off guard “I dunno, you dont stink, Neither does lady Dem” He said as he turned to her. Leaning over she gave him a piece of wheat again but this time, pushing herself a bit forward, watching as his body shook before he took the piece , eating it. “Well Kendo, my name is [ ] and ill be checking on you moreoften okay? I need to run down to the house but ill be back if that's okay with you?” Silently he shook his head, watching her run off as he opened his still crossed legs, feeling himself unsleeth as he groaned ‘Shit...now why am I gettin turned on’ he thought to himself, rubbing away what he could before the girl came back
As soon as she got to the farm she was met with the eyes of the worrying three, the first to speak being his mother Altine “Oh! [ ] youre back!” She said, the bell on her neck dangling as she ran to the fence “How is my boy? Kendo is he alright?” she asked as Demeter and Milvor came soon after for the report “Well maam i can confirm he is healthy, not is wrong with him the only thing is..” [ ] hesitated as she looked at them “He might have a heat approaching, is this his first one by any chance?” SHe asked as they all looked at eachother, Demeter speaking up “Well not exactly, this is why I kept bringing mortals up here, he wouldnt mate with the cows, and even other hybrids! Nothing! Hed turn his nose up at them all and go back to that field. He actually broke that horn of his fighting a bull from a neighboring farm who wanted to cow that was trying to get his attention” Demeter said, sigh as she saw her nieces blank face , afraid she overwhelmed her “Its alright if you dont think hes fixable [ ] i can-” “No hes fine. I can help him, and i think it wont be that hard either” [ ] said, giving the group a smile. “Watch him for a few days for me , im gonna go back up there with him, see how he is then come back in a few days with some of my things, ill stay here as long as need be to help your son” She said as she gave them all a smile, going inside to get her something to eat. Soon she hear her aunt appear, shuffling about to give her a basket to put her things in “Here, Im so gald helping him is a easy fix” She said sighing happily as she continued “I know he should mate on his own time, but im more concerned for his heath of it all, he doesnt even release into anyone or even by himself” Glancing towards her auntie she took in a breath before saying something “Well, i know it has to be bad now, he even said the er, cow women here stink, so their hormone have to be covered with other bulls or maybe he genuinely doesnt see appeal with them” [ ] said. Thinking it over Demeter gave her an almost alarming look “Well if thats the case just as you arrived he asked me what i was cooking, that something smelt good. I told him I didnt have anything and he just retreated back to his part of the barn before leaving for the field again.” Slowly [ ] realized she might be in for more than she imagines but brushed it off. “Interesting..” She said as she took her full basket “I have an idea, im gonna see if his heat hits its peaking times in a few days, I do plan on staying here if youd have me here?” She asked as a delighted look spread across Demeter’s face “Of course dear child! I missed having you around! Your Father was bad at bringing you over, him and his festivals” Demeter huffed before she poked her nieces cheek “Besides! We can have a girls night, or well er, weeks depending!” She said as the laughed together “Well it's a deal!”
Heading back up the hill she saw that Kendo had moved, facing a running river as he sast in the sun once more, looking content. [ ] smirked to herself before grabbing some of the things she had ; a brush, a lavish soap and a towel. Heading to where the behemoth of a hybrid laid she noticed his ear twitched, before he opened an eye to look back at her. “Hey Doc, ya back.” He said as she gave him a smile, sitting beside his head “Why yes I am. You seem to be enjoying yourself” She teased as he smirked, turning to face her. “Well i do enjoy the sun, keeps me warm nd my hair soft.” Looking him over again she noticed that his hair was always up in a bun but his bangs covering his eyes, a different hue of color, more of a rustic red than his black furred legs. “Well about that...Im gonna give you a bath!” the giant bull flinched at her words, seeing the happy look gracing her face “Oi now look, ‘m fine i dont need no bath” He argued as she pouted “Why sure you do! I know you dont go when the others get theirs, and if that bun of yours is any indication, you need to wash all of that dirt and grime off. Now let me help you” She barked back, pointing the soft looking brush towards his face. He stood up, now overthrowing the girls height as he pointed a finger at her “Now look, I like being this way, it keeps those girls offa me if you clean me now they wont leave me alone!” [ ] sighe before stepping closer, pointing her own small hand at his face, moving closer “Now you listen to me Kendo, I have things to help keep them off of you, this is for your own health! I can leave you here, dirty but your hair and fur is gonna get so matted theyll have to shave you!”
At hearing a potential that hed be shave Kendo flinched, moving his bangs so his soft eyes could meet her determined ones “Theyll shave me? Ion wanna be like the sheep” he said she she gave him a satisfied look. “Well go into the water then and ill make sure you wont!” Reluctantly he sighed, walking into the river as she followed behind, pinning her longer robe so it wouldnt get too wet as she sat at the side of the river. Holding a hand out she waved him closer, the male coming to her as she undid his hair. To her utter surprise it fell down his shoulders, stopping just short of his waist. Gently she pushed his bangs back to see his pretty amberish eyes looking up to her [ ]’ed ones. He had a typical Bull hook through his nose , the gold shining in the warm sun. He was quite handsome, sun kissed skin and a clear face, broad shoulders and a nice body. Even with his mostly human body his horns, tail and ears were bull, on top of his legs and...neithers , that were covered in fur. Softly she traced a scar under his eye, the wound slightly tender as he jumped from the touch. Going to her wrist she tied a string to hold his long bangs up, a giggle falling from her lips as he almost looked like a younger child getting a bath “What're you lookin at me like that for” He huffed as she laughed more, pushing his face together “You look like an upset child is all. Now go ahead and dip in the water for me , ill scrub you after.” Listening to her, Kendo dropped watching as some of the debris and dirt washed off around him as he stood up, shaking his hair “Good enough?” He asked as she shook her head, pouring some of the sopa on the brush as she started to was his chest,making sure to scrub him as clean as she could from land. Sensing her struggle he reached to her, lifting her over his body as she squealed “Sorry, you were just strugglin so i thought i'd help you” Kendo said as [ ] hesitantly started to wash as much as she could, tapping his arm anytime she needed to move. Being up there did help, she was able to was his horns and his hair, revealing the rust orange and copper hair underneath. Surprised she ran her finger though it, giving him a shy smile. “See dont you feel a bit better?” She asked as he shyly nodded, noticing how her clothes clinged to her chest. He reached to put her back on land, coming out of the water himself as he allowed her to scrb his legs and hoofs, the dull black fur coming to life as he watched in awe. She didnt mind helping him, still came to bother him when he said he didnt want help and now she was bathing him. Kendo mulled over how helpful she was, and realized she was more comforting than most. After scrubbing his hoofs shiny she tapped his legs, signaling she was done.
“All right! Now that youre all clean and such Ill make sure you stay this way okay Kendo?” [ ] said as she went back to the basket, pulling out two apples. The bull in question watched as she came back to him, handing him the other one “Here ya go! Thought you could use something sweet” kendo took the apple from the girl, before biting into it, thanking hier softly as they sat in silence. Soon [ ] spoke up, breaking their silet aurora “So...ill be around here the next few days or so, ill probably stay longer, giving how nice it is” She laughed, looking at the curious male beside her “Dont be afraid to ask me for anything okay? Im here to help you” With that Kendo nodded, going back to the apple. Quietly Kendo touched her arm, making [ ] look to him as an unfamiliar look went over his face. Gently herself, [ ] put her hand on his, shaking her head as a signal for him to talk. “Would you mind...pettin me?” he asked before [ ]’s eyes went wide. Now feeling a bit more embarrassed he spoke up again “I have problems going to sleep, ‘ts why i like it out here in the sun, its warm , nd comforting…” Pausing he continued after he got his words together. “You do the same thing like the sun. Youre warm...comforting.. And make me feel sleepy...so if you pet me...ill be comforted to sleep..its what my mama did, but im too big to be in her lap” With that kendo finished, glancing to the girl who gave him a soft look “Of course i can! I have to get pick some more clothes up but once i get back, I can stay with you out here.” Shaking his head Kendo looked back to the river “Ya dont have to sleep outside with me just...put me to sleep” Unable to stop herself [ ] hugged his arm, looking at him through her lashes “Oh cmon you big baby, I dont mind it! Havent slept under the stars since i was a kid!” Brushing off her dress she ran a hand though his thick locs of hair, giving him another warm hug “Ill be back before sundown, now you be good” And with that he watched as his new found friend walked down the hill.
As promised she brought a blanket and joined him, laying under the tree as the large male went to sleep on her lap, contently humming as [ ] ran her fingers through his hair, making Kendo groan as he fell asleep like mentioned, hugging her thighs as he slept the most comfortable he had in weeks. Watching the hybrid sleep she saw all types of scars, some down his back , others on his chest. A few on his arms and only one on his face, plus the broken horn. He obviously got himself into different groups of problems, but he was sweet, not as curt as he expected. Running her fingers down his back she watched him shiver, going to wrap his arms higher around her torso. Giggling as softly as she could [ ] started to braid his hair back in his sleep, the moving under her ceasing as he was well resting once more. Thinking to herself ‘ If he’ll be like this it should be a breeze to help him.’ Oh how wrong she was.
A few days passed with little to no incident , [ ] going around helping with the daily chore and hanging out with her deity auntie. As the two of them sat in the living quarters, drinking a mixed juice that her father set them they heard a bell appear towards the window, it being Kendo’s mother “I'm so sorry to bother you , but i think something is gravely wrong. Kendo is whining in the shed, earlier he even started to-” Before she could finish a thumb came from his shed, followed by a groan “and that, he's been head butting his room” sitting up [ ] looked to his shed, seeing the door shut but large banging still coming from inside “Hey Auntie, is it alright if we could move him to the other field? I dont want his lashing to accidentally hurt anyone here” Coming besides [ ] Demeter chewed at her lip, thinking “Well, if we can stop him then yes, I'd get the boys to move it quickly”. With that answer [ ] got up, heading to the rocking shed. Taking in a breath she knocked, hearing that the groans subsided. The door slowly creaked open, showing a heaving Kendo “[ ].....?” He whispered, looking over her body as she reached to his forehead, pressing her hand against it. Hot, way too hot. “Kendo, sweetie come with me okay? We’re gonna go to the fields and we're gonna move your shed there okay?” Silently he nodded, coming out of his place. He was gasping, chest heaving as his eyes swirled a darker color than normal. Taking the outstretched hand of [ ] his larger fingers curled against it, following the light pull of the girl. Softly, He nudged her back “ ‘M hot..” he said as she looked back at him, making sure the fever wasn't wearing him down. He gave her a weak smile, rubbing the back of her hand “ ‘M alright princess, just hot” Kendo said as she noted how his voice dropped octaves. “Well theyre gonna bring a bigger shed for you out here and ill check on you every hour. Does anything hurt?” [ ] asked as they walked up the hill “Nah, but my horns are ackey.” “Is that why you were bashing them on the shed?” “Yeah...its like trying to scratch an itch you can reach” Kendo sighed, seeing his usual tree coming into view. As the duo got there he dramatically fell under it, pulling [ ] with him. “K-kendo! Careful!” she fussed as he let go of her apologizing as he drifted to sleep. Soon some of the workers had started working on the new roomed shed for him , finishing just before sundown as they would inform Demeter of where she was.
Gently pushing the deep sleeping boy from her lap she went to his new place, checking everything out. It was more of a small home than a shed, filled with a huge bed and a nice aesthetic to them, the touch of the goddess laced through the look of the place. Going around to sort some of the things they brought for Kendo, [ ] felt a presence behind her “whats all this..” the groggy bull said, ducking down to walk into his lavish bedroom “Your new home! I had them build something spacious but also not overwhelming, and these white are just so lovely.” [ ] kept talking as she soon felt two large arms wrap around her torso “ Ya did this for little ol me..?” He whispered as she ran a hand over his forearm. “I did...you need somewhere to relax in this state” She responded, trying to get from his grasp as he tighten it “Uh uh dont leave...tell me whats wrong with me doc..why cant I stop feeling hot...and anytime you come around I...cant help myself” He ended with a groan , burying his face in the shorter girls neck “Well once im sure of you being in a state of need ill be back okay? Just...relax for me and i promise ill be back.” finally convincing him to let go of her waist, not without a pained groan as he went to the bed, hazy eyes glancing over the short dress wearing girl “Get some more rest okay? Im gonna get something to eat and ill be back in the morning. Call me if you need me okay?” [ ] said as he just groaned a meek response, turning to his side.
Earlier the next morning [ ] woke up to an empty house. Stretching she found a neatly written note with some food on the table
Dearest Niece, Im currently headed to your Uncle Poseidon's place, I should be back some time later ; an update on Kendo, hes been begging for you all day, wont let anyone touch him or check on him. He should be awake now but do be warned ; He’s a lot more scatterbrained than usual
Auntie Demeter
Reading over the note again [ ] sighed, putting on her more comfortable and workable dress as she headed up to his new little house on his hill, the sound of groaning and whines coming to her ears as she got to his door. Seeing it ajar she pushed it open slightly, the place dark except from a crack of light coming from the window. Going to the shades she opened them, hearing a hiss from the bed. “Kendo its me..[ ]?” She called out as the wild set of hair came into view. He was even more disheveled, eyes filled over as he looke to the girl before growling, crawling out of the bed to her. With a gasp she was in his arms, body shaking as she was met with unnaturally feral eyes from the boy. “You left me yesterday..” he rapeseed out, burying his face in her neck again as she grabbed at his thick neck “Kendo honey, i told you id be back this morning didnt i?” She calmly said as he held her tighter, pushing her chest to his “Dont care, ‘ts too long” Realizing why he was so needy [ ] tried to reason with him “Well im sorry love, here lets sit down on the bed” Trying to get him to move she walked forward only to feel something large and hot push into her bare thigh. Nervously she looked down only to be faced to what she feared it was ; His hanging member. A wicked laugh came from above her as she was met with his ever lust driven eyes, a hand of his going to cup her ass and pull her closer “See what you left me with? No matter how hard i fuck my fist i cant cum, it wont come out” He whined and burried his face again, rocking himself on her thigh “Please ill do anythin..youre the only one who sgotten me like this...the only one i want..[ ] please princess help me” Overwhelmed but the situation she tried to pull back, eyes searching his “K-kendo youre getting yourself worked up relax-” Without warning he picked her up, making her screech as he brought her crouch to his face, inhaling as he whimpered, reaching down to his growing dick “Fuck you smell good, like flowers...and sweets..” Letting his tongue roll out he sucked over her panties, making her squeal as she gripped his messy hair “N-no kendo put me down i need to help y-you!” She moaned as his tongue flicked over her clit, a mutual groan coming from both of them. Soon a hard tug to his hair resonated, cause him to put her down as she barely touched the floor, hand grabbing his biceps “Kendo please, please sit down youre overworking yourself.” Trying to calm her racing heart she saw how hazed he was, his hand coming to wrap around his visually throbbing head, stroking himself as tight and fast as he could, looking at the awe struck girl infront of him. His hips lifted up as he was chasing a high but he soon groaned, thrusting meekly in his fist “I-I cant, fuck I cant do it doll, ‘t hurts...p-please” Finally snapping from her haze she got closer to Kendo, hand still trying to milk himself as she put her hand over his, stoping the motion.
“K-ken..ill help you okay? Youre gonna rub yourself raw at this pace..” nervously [ ] pulled his hand away, precum coating it as she gulped. He was huge, red and swollen tip curved in the right places. Even with his bull heritage he was still humanly manageable, but with a lot of work to try and get it to fit. With her staring at the intimidating size it twitched , curving up to his belly button as he gave her a lop sided snarl “ Cmon darlin, he... er, we need you . ya keep staring make me feel a bit exposed” He laughed as [ ] gave her own light chuckle. Facing her fears she wrapped a hand around his tip, a hurting yelp falling from Kendo at the touch made her eyes flicker to him but what she saw was pure lust, eyes blown with his tongue licking over his lips “Y-yes finally...shit I-i can feel somethin” Kendo couldnt help himself. Reaching down he grabbed her other hand , wrapping them tightly around his tip as he thrusted between them. “Mhmm im cumin, im gonna cum o-oh shit” As soon as she twisted her wrist to help him he felt himself twitch , spurts of warm cum splattering on [ ]’s face and the floor a he gave her a nervous laugh “S-shit doll face yer good...im sorry i couldnt hold it in..” he said shyly as [ ] gave him a sympathetic look, stroking over his still throbbing head. “[ ] please...can I fuck you? I-I promise ill go slow its juts the smell of you is..mhmm intoxicating” Kendo pulled her up from her knees, pressing his mouth against her clinging panties ,pulling them with his teeth. [ ] squeaked, grabbing his hair as he pushed her hips closer, trying to lick her. “W-wait ill take em off” Pushing at his shoulders she pulled the piece he had in his mouth out, sliding the flimsy lace as she came a bit closer, a growl coming from his lips as he pushed her dress higher, finally able to taste her. Throwing one leg then the next on his shoulder kendo fell back, making her fall onto his lips.
[ ] let a pitched moan come out, startled by his rummaging in between her thighs , his diligent uskcing on her clit taking a toll as she came, bucking her hips onto his mouth. Swallowing her juices Kendo flipped her on her stomach, pushing the fabric of her dress up and over her shoulder to release her covered chest, now exposed “mhmm i want more of that sweet nectar baby why dont you give it to me?” whispering in her ear and now bucking his even harder dikc between her small lips [ ] started to panic “K-Ken wait I dont think youll fit!” ignoring her thrashing Kendo looked over her body, seeing how she shook at every stroke of his tip against her sopping core “I told ya ill be gentle, hold still [ ]...i wouldnt hurt my mate” The heaviness of those word took over [ ]’s body as she looked back to him, only to see the save behemoth size push against her ring of muscles. Agonizingly slow he pushed, letting his tip slide in as he pushed each small inch he could in, a whine falling from them both. Once he was halfway in he slowly thrust his hips, causing the girl to yelp “I-its alright i got ya okay? Youre fine...its okay im here” Constantly praising her , Kendo was able to slip more into her, each mini thrust pushing him a bit closer to her, the sounds of squishing and pleasure filled moans filling the room. Becoming overwhelmed at almost being full [ ] pushed her hips back to take the rest, making Kendo yelped and [ ] moaned, the sudden feeling of him bottoming out almost too much as he placed his hand on her stomach, feeling him brush her cervix. Swinging his hips more fluidly he started to pounder her even more, gripping her neck as he pushed her deeper in the bed “Fuck yeah i knew youd be my perfect little minx, taking me so well i cant wait to see you swollen with my babies” He huskily whispered , the stretched out girl too blissed at taking him whole to care about his words.
“I bet youd love being my mate, wouldnt have to lift a finger for anything , id take good care of ya..” Continuing his beating against her cervix he felt something strong hed never felt before, a blind need to cum hitting him like a train “mhm..please let me breed you, this pussys’ mine, all i ever wanted...ill make you a cute little house wife hm? Make you swell with cute little us running about.” Feeling her weakening clench over him he reached for that bundle of nerves, switching his hips to hit even deeper, his throbbing dick pushing against that sponge in her walls. Crying out [ ] fell lower, feeling him slip impossibly deeper as he sped up.” Cmon [ ] , babygirl cum for me..give me it..t-then i can give you what you want yeah? Fill ya to the brim so you can bear me a strong child….”Finally at that the little sense of control snapped coming from a particularly hard push and roll of her clit she was whining , grabbing the arm beside her head as angry red lines welted up. Feeling her hit her peak Kendo got to his knees , nursing her bud as she tried to tug him away, thighs shaking as teary eyes looked down to his fierce lust filled one. As soon as she started whimpering and pulling her hips away he stopped, scrubbing his tip along her folds as he entered without too much pull, [ ]’s mouth falling open “Mh..i'm so close baby...just wanted to look at you when I fill you full..” Kendo felt his tip twitch, making his hips stutter as he picked his pace up again, watching as her arms went are far as they could to his back, stretching his shoulders as he came with a growl, and almost audible sound of him pumping in her heard as she weakly pulled him closer, their lips meeting in a intimate kiss.
With care he pulled from her lips, seeing her eyes fill up again as he kissed tears away “Its alright...its okay ‘m here princess...its alright..I didnt hurt you did I?” Kendo asked as he looke at her slightly bulged stomach, a satisfied smirk on his lips “ Hey [ ]...” He started as she gave a weak hum he continued “Be my mate..I know i didnt ask before filling you bu...id be honored to make such a caring woman my mate and wife...treat you just like my father does my mom..…” He said, nuzzling her cheek before [ ] pulled his face up, kissing him lightly as she gave him a tired smile, rubbing his cheeks “I-id be honored to be your mate..take good care of me okay? Or Auntie Demeter has your head..” Laughing he kissed her lips again, sealing their new deal
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i8jisoo · 4 years
Text
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 
hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff
↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie
↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc
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u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy
u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news
u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him
u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks
one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in
ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated
ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together
ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together
u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him
“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 
ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing
ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u
“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”
baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u
“i’m five and a half months.” 
fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop
u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where
ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out
“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”
u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place
he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound
u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks
he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek
u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side
“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”
ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,
ur both nervous and cautious around each other
at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together
hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning
he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺
“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”
ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk
around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer
he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣
he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought
hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together
also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami
(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)
something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^
he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy
it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home
ofc u were crying
a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(
u explain n hiccup while doing so
hes so s o f t at this moment
he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—
he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses
“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”
enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n
spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby
u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like
“ow,, fuck that hurt.”
“hey don’t swear around the baby!”
u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often
kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses
hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝
yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??
well kkami was on it 
baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin
u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P
newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg
“it feels gross.”
ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out
he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind
last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes
though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts
hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary
hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction
“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”
ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark
u do not want to be t o u c h e d
touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u
hyunjin just sits there
hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall
hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(
hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺
yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again
he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong
“i— it feels like i have to push.”
he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors
they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position
hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO
yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look
like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy
here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin
“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”
his lil puppy baby boy 🥺
he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head
it was kinda creepy how similar they looked
anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different
u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺
“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”
he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly
“yea, we do.”
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hwaflms · 3 years
Note
Fav Emoji: 🗡
Hi!!! I was wondering if I can get a ship for txt, nct, and ateez pls? I’ll really try not to make this long, but it’s hard sometimes lol.
Anyways, I’m an 18 year old 03’ liner and I’m 5’6. As for looks, I’m african american so i have dark skin, brown eyes and cinnamon colored hair. I cut my hair really short above my ears. I look rather young for my age (unfortunately). I’m rather slim and i have long legs and arms so people say I look even taller than what i am. I have large round eyes a big forehead, a button nose, and thick(ish) lips with round cheeks(ok now i understand why ppl think i’m vv young 🙄) But nowadays i’m more confident in myself and it’s no longer an insecurity of mine. I’d like to say i’m very stylish yet i can’t pick an aesthetic for the life of me.
To sum up my fav aesthetic/style, i would have to say something that’s dark but sophisticated. Like dark academia, but add a bit more of an alt/goth style to it. I like listening to visual kei and rock music, but to be honest, I love all music, even country some times.
I’m from the south of usa, so that has influenced how i am A LOT. I usually don’t have an accent, but whenever i feel a really strong emotion, I get a really strong southern accent and it’s kind of funny. I also tend to go outside without any shoes or socks. I like playing with my pets outside the most, I have two dogs (one is a rottweiler and one is a bull dog), my cat (just a black cat) and my bird. I love love love animals. I love everything to do with nature as well, i feel a deep connection with nature, and once, i even cried while watching bees pollinate flowers help lol.
My psychic said my aura was multiple shades of green, which i think it fits, seeing that green auras represented healers and earth lovers. My dad tends to call me a hippie lol. Astrology wise, I’m a leo sun, leo moon, and scorpio rising. My personality type is INFP-T. My friends say i’m quite funny, and they like to point out, “she’s really really smart, but like everyone, she has her dumb moments, but her dumb moments are the dumbest of the dumbest.”
I’m very sensitive, and not in the “i’m always crying way”. Yet, when i do cry, i tend to cry over the smallest of things, like the bee one. I cry over animals being cute, and I cry when i’m rlly rlly excited. Yet if i’m rlly sad, i can’t cry for some reason, and i’m just 😐. But, I try my hardest to comfort others and help others because there seriously is no other happiness in the world that makes me more happy than making others happy.
I like to talk a lot, as well (as you can see), and i’ll talk about every topic. I tend to talk most about child birth and genetics weirdly enough, it’s so interesting to me. But i also love to talk about astrology, space, and conspiracy theories. I’m highly spiritual. I’m also highly creative. I love drawing, singing, dancing, acting, all of that. Drawing has always been my strongest suit before i somehow got bored of it, but i still draw every once and a while.
I also like playing sports, as i’m naturally athletic. I did ballet, tap dance, gymnastics, track and field, cheerleading, soccer, and softball. (i think cheer is a sport and i’ll argue with anyone on that). I’ve lived in america, germany, and south korea, and i want to travel to so many more places as i grow older.
As for relationship stuff, I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m scared of boys to be honest. I was bullied in school a lot for being “ugly” and it was always by boys so i’ve never really had the best experience with them. I’m still trying to gain my confidence so that i could try dating.
My ideal type is someone smart (though i don’t hate himbos lmao), but i like someone smart and mature. I like someone who works hard, but not someone who’s too serious. With people, i like to have those love/hate relationships lol like we make fun of each other but we also have our soft moments. As for looks, i don’t rlly have an ideal type, yet there’s a couple things that i would go for. I like someone who’s taller than me, has bigger hands than me (mine are 18cm 😥), and has nice legs (i tend to like thicker legs, but i don’t discriminate). I do think smaller guys around my height are so cute too tho, like UGH I CANT CHOOSE.
My ideal date would probably be anything other than going to a restaurant. Maybe later on in the relationship that would be fine, but to be honest, i’m very awkward and shy at first, so it would just be weird. I find that doing something fun together really let’s you find out more about a person rather than just talking. So maybe an amusement park, or even doing an escape room together.
As for love languages, i’m not a very touchy person. Sometimes, i’m STARVING for a hug, but most of the time i don’t like to be touched. I think my love language is acts of service, and idk what’s it’s called, but just trying to find out abt someone. Someone would really know i like them when i ask for their whole zodiac chart, personality type, weekday of birth, everything.
Tbh, i’m very much like a tsundere. I don’t like showing affection very much, and i’d rather insult the ppl that i like than compliment them. Though, this is probably the reason ppl think i don’t like them when i first meet them. Sometimes i might get rlly mushy and cute and stuff, but most of the time, i’m just not used to showing affection, so i feel kinda uncomfy when i do.
Ok, that’s all, i really hope it wasn’t too much for you to read, i tend to get carried away ❤️ have a nice day ily
୨୧ 𓂃 : 🐇 :┊ i ship you with . . .
💌 — huening kai ♡ txt.
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𖥻 the last thing a relationship with hyuka would be is boring. he gives off very "best friend who also happens to be your boyfriend" vibes, so there would be a lot off playing around and goofing off. he can be affectionate but also likes his space, like you, so you would be able to find a middle ground. he would like is your relationship was light and fun, teasing each other and making fun of each other. if you ever felt insecure, he would make you feel better in a less "let's talk about it" way and a more "ugh you're so silly, why would you think that when you're perfect??" way.
💌 — johnny ♡ nct.
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𖥻 johnny is a chill and laid-back person, so conversation with him would come easy. there wouldn't be an awkward stage with him because johnny is a pretty smooth talker and he would make it easier for you to talk to him. johnny would NEVER make you feel insecure, if anything, he'd be the type of boyfriend who would be hyping you up all the time, even when you're doing absolutely nothing. johnny loves music too so, while he might make fun of you a lil for listening to country, he would love vibing to music with you. we all know johnny is mf hilarious, so he could definitely joke around with you and insult you playfully often ! plus johnny is a sexc tall boy and he has legs for days D:
💌 — hongjoong ♡ atz.
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𖥻 hongjoong has the perfect balance of being mature and hardworking while also being playful. he knows how to take a joke and return the favour by teasing you, so i think in that aspect, you will have an easy-going relationship. he also will definitely be so supportive of you, and will be there for you whenever you need it. the kind of dates he would prefer would be more indoor ones, especially just in his studio !! he would show the amount of affection you're comfortable with, never pushing your boundaries or pressuring you.
♡ 𓄹 ࣪ ˖ i hope you like this !! and also, i just wanted to let you know that you are so so beautiful, okay, ilysm <3 boys suck, pls ignore them >:( thank you for sending this in, stay safe ^_^
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a-lonely-tatertot · 4 years
Text
Kiss me like it isn’t allowed
Pairing: Keefitz
Word Count:  3111
Warnings: Underage drinking (briefly mentioned), cursing, and internalized homophobia 
A/N: There’s a happy ending I swear, Fitz is just a repressed gay and doesn’t like feelings, I also know nothing about laser tag so sue me. And thanks to @bookwyrminspiration
The night it all started was normal. Keefe sprawled on Fitz’s bed, staring at the ceiling lost somewhere in a world of thought. “I wonder what it’s like to kiss someone,” Keefe said to no one in particular. 
Fitz looked up startled, “Didn’t you kiss my sister once?”
“She turned her head!” He put his hands up in defense. “I meant like, kiss someone for real.”
“Come back to me when you have an answer,” Fitz sighed indifferently. He never really understood the gain there was to smashing mouths together and moving them around. He hadn’t realized Keefe had moved to sit criss cross in front of him until he pulled away his book. “Hello to you too,” he said. Keefe’s ears were pink against his pale hair.
“What if- if you wanted to- maybe we- I could- uh,” he swallowed, eyes darting everywhere. Fitz smiled a bit.
“Spit it out, buddy.”
“CanIkissyou?” Fitz’s brain short-circuited, and Keefe began to fidget, playing with his hands like he would die if he didn’t. Purely out of impulse and not thinking straight, Fitz surged forward his forehead smacking into Keefe’s. “Ow,” he groaned.
“That definitely could’ve gone better,” Keefe laughed weakly. Before he could grab the book again and hide behind the pages, soft hands ghosted his face. Oh, he thought, realizing what he agreed to.
“This still okay?” he asked softly. His hands fell gently on Fitz’s cheeks. They were light, barely there, waiting to be refused. 
A breathy, “Yes,” was all Keefe needed to press their lips softy together. 
There weren’t any fireworks as Fitz’s eyes fluttered closed and pushed back slightly. There wasn’t anything grandiose about it, it was sloppy and messy. There was only this: Fitz’s vague thought of Oh, as the air was stolen out of his lungs by Keefe’s soft irreversible touch.
Eventually Keefe pulled away, panting slightly. He chased him for a quick second, quickly realizing that his hands had left with his mouth. So it went, Fitz winding up the courage to put his hands in his hair, his eyes widening at the sudden touch but leaned into it. So it went, hands, mouths, hair.
When it’s over he watched Keefe leave. Frizzy hair, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. Some part of him realized that he had done that. A dopey grin took over his face.
But his small paradise shattered the moment Keefe closed the door and someone else opened it. By harsh words and stern looks. His father said it wasn’t okay, that if he wanted to matter the kiss couldn’t matter. So the next day he doesn’t let it change things and he tried to miss the way Keefe stared after him. It doesn’t matter, because he mattered.
-
His heart was in his ears as he moved through the warehouse. A shout rang out to his left followed by a buzz signaling that someone was out on his team. He filed that somewhere in the back of his mind as he hid behind a wall. If he could just spot someone- There! Tam was running between two walls- 
“Hey, Princey,” whispered Keefe, right as he was about to pull the trigger. And just like that, his concentration was gone and so was Tam.
“Dammit,” he breathed, lowering the gun. Fitz tried to ignore Keefe, he was supposed to be helping his team. That couldn’t happen if he thought about the annoyingly persistent boy next to him. They did this often, the group finding themselves more often at the old warehouse converted to a laser tag company. It was known that Fitz was the best shot, his aim was unmatched by the others. Most of the time he found himself like this: behind a wall, or on top of something, trying to hit the people running in and out between the walls.
He watched the layout for a bit and tried to not think about Keefe’s heavy gaze on him (keyword: tried, he didn’t succeed). A flash of blue and his finger was on the trigger, firing. There was that familiar tension in his chest, waiting for the light to turn blue and the buzzer to go off-
And it didn’t. “Having some problems there?” Keefe teased. 
“Uh, yeah, you,” Fitz responded flatly. His eyes stayed on the field even though he knew it’d be useless. As he fell deeper into his thoughts he saw Keefe’s vest, blue. The beginning of an idea formed when Keefe gently wrapped a hand around his wrist. Don’t tense don’t tense-
Keefe let out a soft laugh, “Your pulse is racing.”
“Oh?” Fitz was barely even thinking about what left his mouth, his mind somewhere else. “Maybe it’s cause of how close you are.” He was close, Fitz could feel his breath brushing his cheek. “Maybe I want you closer.”
A small blush spread across his face, rising to the tips of his ears and racing down his neck. In one quick move, Fitz laced his fingers through Keefe’s and spun them around and pinned Keefe against the wall he was hiding behind. “Hey.” 
Keefe stared at him, wide-eyed. “This was not how I expected this to go,” he said finally. Fitz chuckled.
Keefe leaned in slightly and Fitz didn’t stop him, nor did he when Keefe kissed him. It was messy and slow like the first time and every bit as distracting. Some part of him knew that he should probably shoot him right then, it would be so easy and he wouldn’t see it coming-
There was the soft click of the trigger and the buzzer went off in the distance. Fitz didn’t notice, he was too focused on the feeling of Keefe pulling away. “You shouldn’t let yourself get distracted so easily Fitzy,” he said, a smirk pulling at his mouth. The tips of his ears were pink as ran off, there was a hit of sadness in his eyes when he looked back once more.
“What the fuck,” he whispered to the wall.
-
9. He ran, laughter barely held in. 8. He spun around the corner, wide empty hallway in front of him. 7. Don’t slow down, he thought, destination already in mind. 6. Quieter this time as he swung the closet door open. 5- “Well this is ironic,” said Keefe, his voice next to his ear. Fitz forgot how to breathe.
“Don’t pass out on my account Fitzy,” Keefe chuckled.
“What’re you doing here?”
“Hiding, though I think you’re a bit better at that than me.”
“Oh just shut it,” Fitz grumbled. “Can you scoot over?”
Before he could as again, Keefe’s hand covered his mouth and the other gripped his side. In a second, he had turned them and pressed Fitz into the back of the closet. A squeak escaped his mouth before he could stop it. 
“I didn’t think you’d be so noisy,” Keefe whispered, his voice a warm breath on Fitz’s lips. Without his permission, his eyes found Keefe’s mouth. Like he’d been waiting for it, Keefe leaned in a bit and he dimly realized he would have to be on his toes. 
“We shouldn’t,” he breathed, regretting the words as soon as it was out.
“Okay.” Keefe leaned back into the wall, eyebrows furrowed, eyes trained on the floor. Fitz found he couldn’t move his gaze; that he didn’t want to.
So he didn’t. His eyes traced the way his eyebrows furrowed, the smooth curve of his nose, the sharp lines of his clenched jaw. With a sudden burst of confidence, he placed a hand above Keefe’s head and leaned in.
“What, Princey?” Keefe said with a growl.
“Kiss me,” it was a challenge. A shot in the dark. A make or break. And even as Keefe’s eyes narrowed, he wasn’t gonna say no.
When he thought about it later, his father’s disapproving look burned it’s way into Fitz’s mind. He wanted to cry because why did it have to be wrong? Why did it feel right? 
In the end his father’s words won as the sick feeling found home in his stomach because of a single text.
11:30pm
Fitz: We cant do that again
1:05am
Keefe: Okay.
-
The stars filled the sky. “They’re like pimples,” Keefe laughed, his voice soft, words slurred.
“What?” Fitz asked, rolling on his side. It was mesmerizing watching Keefe look at the stars. He got this look in his eyes, sometimes he would tell Fitz what he was thinking. Others, he would pass meaningless jokes, and on the worst days, he would sit, and stare, and drink so much he passed out on the roof.
“The sky has acne,” he giggled a bit and threw back another swig. 
“I think they’re freckles, freckles are better than pimples,” Fitz sighed, alcohol seeping into his words. They came out here on bad nights. If their dads were rough all it took was a call. If school was hard, they’d ditch it all. Tonight, Fitz hadn’t even had to specify. On the second tone, Keefe picked up and responded, “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”
“Keefe only hummed in vague recognition. He jumped down, hitting the ground with a soft thud and slide in the driver’s seat to turn up the music. When he climbed back up there was something else in his eyes. The beat thrummed through the car, matching the quick pace of Fitz’s heart. “If you’re gonna say something, say it,” he whispered into the tentative silence. 
“Can I kiss you?” There was a rushed ask, a careful impulsive decision in his voice, he didn’t know if it was the beer or just Keefe.
Stop. His heart, his breathing, the beat. “Pardon?” Start. 
“Like the other night, can I kiss you?” The other night. The words he had carelessly thrown out, the way he could feel Keefe’s shattered heart through his simple ‘Okay.’ The other night was not something he wanted to repeat. But he was drunk and he shouldn’t be thinking and all he could think of was Keefe. He already knew the answer before it left Fitz’s mouth. 
“Yeah.”
And there was that feeling again, the one he had told himself he would never feel again. The intensity, the openness, screw the stars this was so much better. There was an air of forbiddenness to it, Alden had said no to both these nights and the kisses, so was it really different? Out there, the woods, the car, the beat edging everything in them on, Keefe’s mouth moving on his, it wasn’t allowed; Fitz had never wanted anything more. 
-
He was warm, it was all warm. Hard and solid, but comfortable. He was laying on something that felt more like home than any pillow ever did. It was steady. Keefe, something told him. 
It doesn’t mean anything, he responded automatically, and he hated himself for it. It didn’t, it couldn’t. Yet some part of him wanted it to, some part that was quickly growing bigger. He shoved the thought away as another wave of drowsiness hit.
-
It wasn’t warm, it was very cold. “Took you long enough Princey,” Keefe said, “You know it was a pain in the ass hauling you in here. If you weren’t such a bitch when you wake up hungover, I might’ve made you do it yourself.”
He chuckled lightly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. When memories of the night before came racing back, he shoved them out. He couldn’t, he wasn’t allowed, it was a mistake. It meant nothing, he repeated like a mantra. 
The drive back was normal. The radio playing steadily, talking about meaningless things. They didn’t bring up last night. But they should and Fitz knew it. Keefe was tense, his hands on the steering wheel were tighter than they need to be, his back was slumped, and tightness gripped his words. He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to be oblivious to the telltales. You’re the reason, a nasty voice said. You broken thing.
“Look,” Keefe said turning off the car. “We need to talk.”
“Do we?”
“I know you’re not big on feelings and all that-”
“We were drunk okay? We’re teenagers it’s normal, it doesn’t change anything.”
Keefe let out a helpless breath and stared at him with wide eyes. He wanted to take it all back, he wanted to fix the broken expression Keefe wore but he couldn’t, he couldn’t.
“It was no different from the others,” he said finally.
“You can’t kiss me like that and say it means nothing!” There were tears in his eyes, and Fitz was falling apart from the inside out, staring at him.
“It didn’t, Keefe.” He opened the door.
“Then don’t expect to mean anything to me.”
Somehow he still knew how to rip him up with a single sentence. It didn’t matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget Keefe’s words. He couldn’t forget Keefe.
-
It’s so cold. There’s ice under his skin, eating him up inside. As soon as he stepped inside it all came crashing down. Because he couldn’t forget Keefe. Keefe and the weight of his mouth. Keefe, his best friend since they were kids. Keefe and his thoughts, his idea,s his everything. He couldn’t forget his dopey smile when he agreed the first time only two weeks before. How he threaded his fingers through Fitz’s hair. His raspy voice, the way he only looks at peace with a pencil in his hands. How his confidence was a facade crafted by years of hurting. And there was that bubbling feeling that burned his throat as the rest of him froze with regret. So he screamed and yelled, his voice a release of the flames scorching him from the inside. He didn’t give a damn who heard him.
Time passed, but he paid no attention. He didn’t know how long he was there. Angry and bitter and pissed. He screamed until his throat went dry and his voice was a whisper. Until his eyes hurt from the tears and he didn’t have any left in him. And he was finally as empty as he should’ve been.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
 Biana stood in the doorway. “Wow, what happened here?”
“Screw off, Bi,” he muttered.
“It’s Keefe isn’t it?” At the mention of his name Fitz rolled over and groaned into his pillow. He knew the drill at this point. He was an open book to Biana and there was no point in hiding it. So he explained. From the beginning, every stupid kiss that made his stomach twist. When he finally finished, she let out a low whistle.
“You messed up big time buddy,” she said solemnly. 
“Thank you for stating the obvious.”
“You’re quite welcome. Do you know what I think? I think you’re in love with him.”
“What?” The worst part was, it made sense.
“You love him and you know it,” she said with a smirk. “You’re just burying all of it cause of Dad.”
Everything clicked into place, the puzzle that was Keefe Sencen finally made sense. He didn’t know how he hadn’t gotten it. Before he knew it he was in the car, starting on the hour drive to Elwin’s, Biana next to him, the siblings grinning like idiots.
Biana’s phone almost buzzed itself off the dash startling both of them.
“It’s the Team,” she smiled, “This’ll be fun.”
“Why the hell is your after school club calling?” Fitz asked, incredulous. She didn’t respond, only answered the phone on speaker.
“We owe Dex twenty dollars,” Sophie said solemnly.
“I thought Wylie was closer,” Biana responded.
“No, I was last week,” said Wylie dejectedly.
“You had too much faith in the idiots,” he could hear Dex’s smirk through the phone.
“What’re you all talking about?” he asked finally speaking up.
“We bet on you dumbass,” Biana said not a hint of sympathy in her voice. “Turn here.”
“Where are you guys going?” Stina’s voice betraying how interested she was. 
“To Elwin’s so Fitzy here can dramatically confess his love, I’ll give y’all the details after,” Biana said hanging up. As he stared at the blue door of Elwin’s it all came crashing down on him.
“Dad’s not gonna like this,” he whispered, finding it harder to breathe. 
“Hey,” Biana said, forcefully grabbing his shoulders. There was that stubborn determination in her eyes that he had seen so many times before. “You get the boy, let me handle dad.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he swallowed hard.
“Now go get ‘em, tiger.”
Well, that was the plan. As he walked up to the door he wondered if he should have flowers or an apology or where to even start. Turns out he didn’t have to worry about it. Because Keefe wasn’t home.
“Do you know where he is?” he asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.
“It’s a clear night, where do you think?” Elwin said with a small smile. “He’s been out all day.”
“Shit,” he cursed. Of course, he was so stupid!
“Hey, language,” Elwin laughed.
“Thanks, sir,” he spun on his heel and ran back to the car. 
Biana didn’t say anything as he hightailed it out of the driveway, driving way too fast for a neighborhood. 
The woods weren’t far, he was lucky it wasn’t another hour. Yet when he found himself confronted by trees, he wanted more time. “What do I say?” he asked.
“Whatever your heart does.”
“My hearts going in every direction, it’s not used to being needed.”
“There’s a direction,” she said with a small laugh, “take it.”
So he did. The winding path was practically burned into his memory. The sun had set, he didn’t remember when. The stars were appearing as he found Keefe on the roof of his car, that same look in his eyes.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked, voice so quiet he didn’t know if Keefe had heard.
“I’m thinking,” Keefe said, eyes still trained on the sky. “There's a boy. And I think he's lying to himself. I think he's scared of his dad and doesn't understand his feelings. A boy who gets so angry and hates himself for it. I think he's angry for being different. I think he regrets it but doesn't know how to say it,” Keefe jumped down and locked eyes with him. “There's a boy, and I know him. And I think he knows me. And i really don't wanna be wrong.”
“I think you’re right.”
“Prove it.”
“Kiss me,” Fitz said. One more challenge.
“No,” He shook his head. “You’ve brushed that off enough times.”
“Then how?” 
“You kiss me.”
And Fitz couldn’t say no to Keefe. 
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i’m sure you’re tired of me posting non incorrect quote or non zutara things, but there are things i want to talk about. it started, i guess, as a trend on tiktok where people would share their stories and experiences with racism as people of color in the united states(or anywhere really, but everyone i’ve seen has been from the us). as a woman of color, i felt compelled to participate, but wasn’t sure how to. i didnt want my face showing up globally because i knew that with posting that, not only could people i know in real life find it, but so could the wrong side of tiktok, thus leading some nice so not comments being left under the post. with tumblr i like the anonymity. i can talk about this in as much detail as i want without anyone being able to put a face to my name. despite being here for almost 19 years, i’m still not completely comfortable talking about these experiences when people know what i look like.
i’m going to put this under a cut so it doesn’t take up too much room, and so you can skip if you want.
for starters, my name’s holly. i’m asian american. i was born in china, but shortly after i was born i was stuck in an overcrowded orphanage. this resulted in being adopted by white parents when i was about one and a half to two years old. i lost fluency with my native language and that eventually lead to losing the language completely, and i lost touch with my culture.
i was in second grade, that’s how far back i can remember my first real encounter with racism. i was seven in a classroom full of white kids. there was this boy with blonde hair and blue eyes who sat next to me for a good portion of the year. i remember walking into class everyday, and every day he would ask me the same questions. “why is your nose so flat?” and “why do you eyes look like that”. i was seven. and whether or not he intended to hurt my feelings, it stuck with me for a long time. at first i was confused, because i didn’t think i looked different. i didn’t view myself as looking different until then. until i was constantly reminded everyday that my facial features were “weird” and “odd”. that my face was undesirable. it lead to years and years of insecurity and self hatred.
i wanted so bad to look like the other white girls in my school. i wanted a cute upturned nose with a perfect bridge shape. i wanted blue eyes. i wanted eyelids that didn’t connect in the corners and eyelashes that were naturally curled and turned up unlike mine, that just rested straight forward. i wished that i had lighter skin and blonde hair. i didn’t want to be different and undesirable. i thought i was ugly, and i would look at myself in the mirror for long periods of time, picking out everything that set me apart from the other white kids at my school.
that same year i found out that i needed glasses, and i’m pretty sure i cried. i didn’t want another reason for myself to stand out. i refused to wear them for an entire year and a half, before i realized that i had to wear them if i wanted to see. i was seven, eight. i wasn’t even in the double digits yet but i had this idea in my head that i was ugly because i wasn’t white. whether that kid had meant to hurt me like that didn’t matter, because the damage had already been done. and the worst part was that i had no one i could tell, but none of my friends and none of my family would understand what i was going through. so i suffered in silence and dealt with it the best a child could.
when i was in middle school, i can vividly remember kids mocking asians for laughs. they thought it was funny. funny to be racist. i remember this one time i was out walking the track with a group of kids during gym class. i was walking just behind them and i overheard their conversation. they were making fun of asian’s eye shape, and pulling their eyes back to make them smaller. and it hurt. and they knew i was walking behind them. they knew i was there and that i could hear their whole conversation, but they didn’t care. and i was too scared to speak up for myself, so i had to sit back, listening to and watching them mock people who looked like me because they thought it was funny. i was in seventh grade.
that next year, i was in eighth grade. i had a class with a boy. (i was convinced i liked him, but i’ve come to realize that was not the case at all. i was just forced into thinking he liked me, and i felt obligated to like him back. i realize now that that is just how society (and a get normative society) has conditioned women to feel, but that these feelings were nothing more than platonic. this will make more sense as i continue to tell the story.)
as i was saying, i had a class with a boy, and we began talking and becoming friends. or, i thought we were friends. i realize now those feelings were one sided, and that he only used me to pick on me. he and his friends would take my things and hide them. they sat behind me and would move my desk during class while i was trying to work. they’d throw things at me, whatever they had available. sometimes it was paper, sometimes it was coins, i remember a few times it was a stick they’d found on the track. and now, it doesn’t seem like a racially motivated thing, and maybe it wasn’t and i’m just overreacting. but i saw how he treated other girls. i saw how he treated his girl friends. i saw how he treated my friends. i was with them all the time, and yet i was the only one who was ever on the receiving end of this treatment. and that, that sucked. but i didn’t tell anyone again, because i knew they would just tell me “that means he likes you”. but his actions went further then a playful slap in the arm, and became almost dangerous. i was only fourteen.
in high school i tried my best to stay away from those toxic people. instead, i could remember the racism i faced in those four years coming from my own family, rather than my peers at school. i cant possibly name every time my family has been racist, but i can specifically remember times when i was constantly told by them that my eyes “didn’t look asian”. that my sister looked “more asian” than i did simply because her eyes were smaller than mine. as if i didn’t already have an identity crisis because i wasn’t white enough to fit in with my predominantly white neighborhood, but i wasn’t asian enough to fit in with the few asian kids at my school. it was my dad who continually pushed me to be an engineer(which im not doing, to clarify). don’t get me wrong, he wanted all of us to be in a field where job demand was high, and he did want my sister to be an engineer, but he didn’t bring it up at the rate that he did with me. he still does it. and this plays into the stereotype that all asians are smart and that because we’re smart i have to go into a field that requires high intellect. he didn’t put that immense amount of pressure on any of my other white siblings. just me.
there’s a chinese restaurant down the street from us. we order from there a lot, and usually they’re really good with getting our orders right. in fact, this was the only time i can remember them getting our order wrong. and immediately they began to make fun of their understanding of english and their broken english. immediately they jumped on that opportunity to mock their language, using words like “ching chong” to describe their words. and the saddest part is, i wasn’t even surprised. and yet i couldn’t say anything because i didn’t want to start a fight, and i knew if i did i would be told that “it was just a joke” or that “you’re being too sensitive”. i often wonder if they’d mock me if i didn’t have perfect english. if i spoke with a “chinese accent”. it makes me wonder if i’m only really accepted because i’ve been so assimilated into whiteness that you can’t even tell i’m asian unless you look at my face. this happened mere weeks ago.
last week i went to get my hair done. because of covid everyone is required to wear masks, but there were at least 10 people in there. i was sat down in front of the mirror while my hairdresser cut my hair. in the reflection of the mirror i could see this older white women getting her hair one behind me. she wasn’t wearing her mask properly. it resting under her nose, eventually her chin, and at one point it came off completely and her hairdresser had to tell her to put it back on. the entire time i was sat in that chair, where i could only look straight ahead in that mirror, she was watching me like a hawk. giving me side eye glances and even turning her head completely towards me at times. let me remind you that there were other customers in there. it wasn’t just me and her. i could feel myself starting to get anxious, my heart starting to speed up and my fingers under the apron they put around you, tapping the side of my phone in my hands nervously. i was genuinely afraid that she would start throwing racist slurs and start blaming me for the coronavirus the entire time. i was scared. and it was literally just last week. im tired.
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addercharmer · 3 years
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Izumi grinned at Shōta as they got on the train together. She was super excited to start her work studies.
"Shō! Why aren't you more excited?" She whisper-yells as she grabs his shoulders and tries to shake him. In the back of her mind Izumi notes that he's put on a lot of muscle since the beginning of school.
"Shut up." Shōta growls at her.
Izumi huffs at him but let's go, and sit properly in her seat. She slips one of her headphones in her ear before she jams the other in Shōta's, before turning on her music.
"The fuck?" Shōta yelps and pulls away slightly. "Problem female."
Izumi ignores the grump beside her, and starts to tap her fingers on her thigh with the drum beat.
The ride passes with the music between the two, ten minutes in Shōta is leaning heavily against Izumi. His breaths are soft and deep.
Izumi takes the time to examine him. She had thought Shōta handsome when she was just his student, but the younger him hasn't yet gained the scruffy appearance that she had appreciated so much.
Younger Shōta had yet to have his constant five o'clock shadow, his hair wasn't yet as long, but his jaw was sharp and Izumi had always appreciated his high cheekbones.
Part of Izumi briefly wondered what her presents in his life was changing, she hoped it was for the better.
"Next stop, Maple station."
The speaker announced, Izumi jolted a little before she started shaking Shōta. "It's our stop."
Shōta's eyes popped open and he stared at Izumi for a moment before slowly sitting up, then standing and stumbling his way over to the train doors.
Izumi followed him with a little more grace, laughing to herself about his lack of balance.
Once off the train the two made their way through the warehouse district, Shōta looking at his phone for directions every few minutes.
When they arrived at their destination both looked at each other before Izumi pushed the door open. The inside of the area was brightly lit, right inside the doorway was racks to put your shoes on, they covered about five feet into the building where they then met with a tumbling mat that spread across the rest of the room.
There were doors that were spread around the room, Izumi guessed most were offices, two exceptions being the changing rooms.
Kicking off her shoes Izumi put them in a cubby and steps into the mat, without any warning she feels her body drop in a somersault leaving her case behind.
"The fuck!" Shōta exclaimed as he is wrapped in chains.
"EraserHead and….Huh?" Echos' around them, Izumi looks up into the rafters and spots a horned white haired man.
"Looper!" She squeals and jumps to her feet, dashing the few steps to Shōta and grabbing his bicep to stabilize herself as she jumps but to also jostle her friend. "Oh! My! God!"
The man laughs loud and booming. "Well at least one of you is excited and has some instincts." Looper says before Shōta is shooting out of her hands and towards the rafters, Looper uses him as a counter weight as he jumps down holding the other end of the chain.
"FUCK." Shōta actually screams as he's lifted in the air and then dropped when Looper let's go.
Izumi cant help herself, she's clutching her stomach as she laughs.
"Is there something other than 'Huh?' I can call you little lady?" Looper asks as he saunters towards her.
"Co-conf-confused." Izumi says having to restart twice because of her laughter.
"Care to explain?" The man asks, his eyebrow raised.
"My dad is Nezu, my little brother has red wings, I'm species confused." She tells him with a feral grin.
Looper snorts. "Alright."
Shōta had gotten himself untangled from the chain in the time of her exchange with Looper and stalked over with a glare.
"So, it's really rare that we send offers to take on students, it's even more rare when people accept. I am really excited to work with you both." Looper claps his hands. "First I want you to change into workout clothes, you are each gonna fight me quirkless, then with quirk, then with support gear."
Izumi looks at the man in excitement as she hops from foot to foot, once he makes shoo motions at them she grabs her case and takes off to get changed.
She's the first one back, she had been smart and wore her workout clothes under her school uniform so all she had to do was shed the layer, she skipped out of the changing room carrying her support gear case.
"Gotta wait for the other one, but before the spars I want to know three facts about you and him." Looper tells her. He's relaxed and seems like a happy man. Izumi mourns for Eri for loosening this man as a father.
When Shōta finally exits the changing rooms in loose sweats and a tank top, his capture scarf in his hands. He looks her over and looks a little shocked at her cycling shorts and double sports bra outfit.
She hears Looper short a laugh and looks at him in confusion. Sometimes males are so confusing.
"Right, Confused, give me three facts."
Izumi purses her lips before saying. "I'm adopted, I was abused, I will hurt you if you touch my chocolate."
Looper shakes his head at her. "EraserHead, three facts."
"I need coffee, I didn't sleep well, I want to sleep." Shōta says with his face completely blank.
"I'm married, my wife is the daughter of a Yakuza boss, I will kill you if you eat my apples." Looper tells them. "Confused, you're up first." He leads Izumi into the center of the room.
She relaxes herself and falls into a defensive stance, it doesn't take Looper long to charge her, he's quick to throw multiple punches, most of them Izumi redirects, very few hit their target.
Izumi is not in any way a tank, she's a hit and back off kind of fighter. Between one breath and the next Izumi is throwing herself backwards and rolling across the mat to get some space.
Next she's using a handspring to get back into Looper's space and using an axe kick and an elbow jab as she comes back down.
The half second it takes Looper to recover from her elbow to his diaphragm, Izumi is sliding between his legs and throwing herself into a handstand. Her feet catch Looper at the base of his skull, not hard enough to do any damage but it makes his head snap forward.
Izumi makes sure to keep in motion, she tries to evade or redirect anything Looper throws at her, it's a high kick that takes Izumi out, she had tried to redirect it but there was too much force, it knocks all the air from her lungs and slams her into the wall.
"Shit!" Looper yelps as she slides down the wall.
"Ow." Izumi groans a little. Shōta is already moving towards her, his eyes are wide and worried, he snatches up her hand and holds it.
"Shit!" Looper tells again as he runs over to start checking her over for broken bones and a concussion.
"'m fine, just, the wall could use some padding." Izumi tells him. She lets him worry and flutter around her until he's finished.
"Shit kid, sorry I forgot you were well...a kid, good fight." Looper apologizes and compliments. "EraserHead, can you carry her over to her water bottle, then you're on the mat with me."
Shōta is careful when he slides his arms under her, he carries her like a princess before setting her against the wall and putting her water in her hands.
"You really okay?" He asks softly, Izumi nods at him and flutters her hands to make him go fight the pro.
Shōta's fight is more of a one sided ass kicking, he's lost a lot of flexibility as he focused on building muscle. Izumi feels a little disappointed in him, but she shakes it off as Looper pins him on his stomach, arms awkwardly twisted behind him.
Looper let's him go after a count of ten, Shōta lays on the floor gasping for breath as Looper stands.
"Kay. Confusion, in weaponless quirkless fighting you don't need much, just some different opponents, bigger opponents, smaller opponents. EraserHead, you gotta work on some flexibility, you are not a tank, you need to be able to dodge and throw a hit at the same time, I suggest yoga, dance, gymnastics, anything really that will force you to bend a little." Izumi blushes a little at the lack of criticism, Shōta groans and slams his forehead on the mat.
"EraserHead, go relax. Confused, come spar with quirks." Izumi bounces over to Looper, she did her homework on the man, his quirk was a five point touch quirk that had the victim stuck in a thirty second loop in their mind, it lasted until they were jolted out with pain or half an hour had passed.
Izumi didn't move, her quirk let her work with electricity in the body, she had been working on it with volunteers in heroics class.
Izumi grabbed hold of the electric impulses sending messages to Loopers legs and arms, she stopped them and then pulled on the electricity she could feel humming in the building, picturing herself holding lime green whips in her hands Izumi pulled and then snapped her whips around Looper giving him small enough shocks that all they did was jolt his muscles.
"Huh, why didn't you use that more in the festival?" Looper asked her, after she let him go.
"Didn't have it under control yet, it's been a work in progress, it's hard to find people willing to let me play with the electricity in their body." Izumi answered.
"Oooookay, we have some crazies here that will probably help you." Looper tells her, he limps towards Shōta and drops to the ground. "You gotta wait kid, I need a moment to recover."
Izumi joins them, she's playing with her fingers before blurting. "Tell us about your wife?"
"Ari, well we got married right out of highschool to get her away from her family. Her quirk let's her renew plant life. So she opened a flower shop a few years ago. We are trying to have a kid, she wants a family so badly." Looper's face is soft.
"Ahhh, she sounds lovely! Can we meet her? Can we have your real name?" Izumi asks rapid fire.
"Eren, my mother was German. You'll most likely meet her, you were told you were going to be staying with us, yes?" Looper... Eren says to them.
"Oh right." Izumi tips her head to the side. "Ah, I'm sure you already know but he's Aizawa Shōta and I'm Nezu Izumi!" She chirps at the man with a wide smile.
"So bright." She hears the two men whisper.
"Okay. Your turn Aizawa." Eren says as he stands, Shōta follows with a groan.
Izumi again watches a one sided beat down, and sighs as Shōta is told he really needs some flexibility.
"Well, why aren't your weapons on yet?" Eren asks her as he walks over.
"Well…" Izumi hesitates and opens her case. "What weapon do you want me to wear?"
"Jesus kid, you getting ready to take on an army?" Eren asks with an edge of worry.
"No, uh, I like to have options." She says sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck.
"Fine, Aizawa is first, then we will do all yours but the grenades and guns separately then again together." Eren grumbles as he scoops up Shōta's scarf.
Shōta's third beat down goes better, but Izumi notes to herself to make him try her scarf after her spars, maybe the longer and wider material will be better.
"Go stretch and relax, I gotta take on the girly now." Eren says gruffly, Izumi can tell he's a little dissatisfied.
Izumi grabs her scarf and gloves before taking her place on the mat. She doesn't do as well as she had weaponless, she's taken down when she trips over her scarf on a landing.
Her brass knuckles are better, they give little shocks every time the metal grazes anything, she's happier with them than the scarf, maybe she should just ditch it and stick to her guns and electrokinesis for long range.
Fighting with knives has Izumi beat quickly, she had been too focused on the ones in Eren's hands that she missed when he threw one of them at her, it scratched her temple and Izumi called it her loss.
"Dad's had me in gun handling classes since he adopted me, I still go to the range every other week to keep sharp." She explains to Eren as she walks over to Shōta. "If you have one here I'm happy to demonstrate."
Shōta looks half asleep, he jumps a little when Izumi drops her scarf over his head. "Try this, it's similar to yours." She tells him.
Shōta hauls himself to his feet.
"So one tight grip around the fabric activates it and shuts it off. It has micro processors that are constantly scanning your body, so it knows your height and arm length once activated. Small movements are best." Izumi tells him.
Shōta grips the strips of fabric by his throat before flinging out his hand, the scarf shoots out and slaps Eren in the face, Shōta jerks his hand back and gets the same treatment.
"What part of small movements don't you get?" Izumi asks exasperated.
Shōta tries again, this time a small flick of his fingers, the scarf shoots out to a midway point. Shōta then makes a circle in the air and calls the scarf back, this time it thumps against his chest.
"It's yours, I didn't like how I worked with it. Support can make you gloves to help with control. I'll put in the transfer papers, and ask them to give me new gloves." Izumi tells him, Shōta just buried his face in the scarf, and Izumi is happy that the man finally has his iconic weapon.
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jungxk · 3 years
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// rant
i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.
my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.
nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?
nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?
this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.
at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.
last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.
it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.
sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj
i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x
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Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)
So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.
I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.
I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)
🍰 for @shotosimp2
Romantic Matchup
Oikawa Tooru
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How yall met
Ok im ngl
Y'all had know clue who each other were
Well that's a lie
Of course you knew who Oikawa was
But you just didn't care
Now Oikawa always saw you around school
You know...in the school uniform
But one day
He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory
And apart of him was like bitch wtf
And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗
So he approached you and complimented your outfit
And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading
Wait
You just said thanks???
No fan girling????
Not even a blush??????
Nothing????????????
OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street
But you went to school with him?
So you had to know who he was right?
Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction
The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you
And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know
Oikawa: >:o
Then Iwa had a brilliant idea
Get this
Maybe
Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him
Wild theory I know
So now Oikawa had a new goal
Befriending you
It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together
Soon enough you guys became close friends
And oikawa was happy with just being your friend
At least...he thought he was
But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months
And even though you had each others numbers
Everything without you just seemed so dull
Omg
Did he really have feelings for you?
The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you
Like LIKED liked you
So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you
And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too
So you said yes
What they love about you
He loves how normal you treat him
Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity
Expected it even
But the more time he spent around you
The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally
Ok screw what your friend says
He loves your humor!
Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit
If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages
85% of it would be dumb ass memes
And honestly
This boy makes jokes about his trauma too
“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”
“Sure”
“My existence”
“...”
“...”
“Ayyyyy”
“Ayyyyy”
He loves how easy it is to talk to you
Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before
And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE
So yeah
Trust between you two
ASTRONOMICAL
What you love about them
You love how supportive he is
If you say you wanna do something
He is right behind you cheering you on
You could tell him you want to commit arson
And he'd just be like
Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅
You can always count on this man to be in your corner
Speaking of
You can always count on oikawa period
Which is another thing that you love about him
If oikawa is anything
He is a man of his word
If he says hes gonna do something
You know he's gonna do it
He's just overall a really reliable person
You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better
Fr after you guys started dating your grades went
Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him
But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better
And if you do improve on something
He is HYPING you up
“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”
Favorite things to do together
Yall love to just go to the store and window shop
Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes
So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room
Taking pictures of your outfits
Then leaving
Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…
But who cares what they think
And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things
Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food
Cause why not
Random Hc
He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME
But like, can you blame him????
You're not even 5 feet tall!!!
“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”
Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”
“Touche”
He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE
Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗
He called you every day while you were studying abroad
He even sent you a oikawa plushie
You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it
When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport
Astrology
Virgo + Cancer
Compatibility 80%
Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.
The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.
If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.
In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.
If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.
If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.
Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.
If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.
This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.
This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.
Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.
Overall Aesthetic
Grunge Glamour ✨
Songs -
Tia tamera (Doja Cat)
Verbratem (mother mother
Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)
Hayloft (mother mother)
Stupid (ashnikko)
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urissolos · 4 years
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i see you post a lot of my hero HC's so I was wondering if you have any of your own????? preferably if it was about bakugo kaminari jiro????? if you could???? if not its all good man
i have a lot of HC’s that i’m just scared to post but sleep deprived me thinks its great to post this
!!! Some of these head canons ya’ll wont agree with but please remember that these are my head canons but not actually canon so don’t bash them !!!
also this is kind of a warning that this basically all of these headcanons are about mental heath and that stuff and what hey use because these are some of my favourites but if you want more just go to the ask box!!! 
First up Bakugo Katsuki  
He’s autistic 
His favourite stim toy is the fidget cube (especially the buttons) but he has tons of stim toys
Baku’s dad just kept buying them because he didn’t understand what he needs but tries really hard to help him 
Sometimes loud noises are sometimes really bad and can send him into a sensory overload so his quirk is a very much win-lose situation 
Bakugo is touch inverse and very much dislikes when people touch him without permission and that’s why he’s always yelling when people touch him and gets really frustrated when they don’t listen to him 
All his teachers know and let him leave class if it gets too much for him 
Bakugo doesn’t really care who knows but who tell unless someone asks so the only people in the class who know are Midoriya and Aizawa because nobody really questions him 
Next up Jiro Kyoka
Jiro has general anxiety 
She uses music a lot to help her calm down and slowly come down from a panic attack 
Jiro doesn’t do the bouncy leg but instead she plays piano with a hand she isn’t using  and plays it along in her head  
Jiros favourite song she likes to play is Gymnopedie No.1 
She can play 15 instruments 
Jiro doesn’t like to brag about all the instruments but will gladly play a song for you ( if you ask nice enough)
her favourite friend is Momo (but don’t tell anyone) because she helps Jiro through a lot of panic/anxiety attacks and understands when Jiro needs to leave a situation
And last but not least Kaminari Denki 
Kaminari has ADHD/ADD 
Kami cant sit in the same position for more than ten minutes he’s timed it and everything 
Once when he was younger he couldn’t stop fidgeting during a test his teacher (Kami made it his mission to piss off said teacher even more during the year)
If Kami gets hyper-fixated on something on something he sometimes forgets to eat/sleep/basic self-care like if he starts reading a book Kami wont stop until it’s finished 
Kami once had a hyper-fixation with energy drink and collecting the cans but Aizawa didn’t know about it so now he’s hiding over 100 (one hundred) cans in his closet 
Sometimes Kami get really drained and tired after studying for so long he  would rub his hands together to create friction and electricity and used it to shock himself wake  
When Kaminari develops a hyper-fixation he needs to talk or rant about it to someone but if nobody is willing to listen he ends up talking to himself (classmates would often confuse him with Deku when he did this)
well these are a couple headcanons hope you enjoyed them!!
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