#the more i remember the more horrified i am at what i lived thru and coped with all by myself. sometimes i dont even know how i survived | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yukihime242 · 5 months

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The reason I went for cluster anime review is because I wanted to clear my list of anime to review as quickly as I can, but I am also struggling to find some anime that can be grouped together with others based on a specific theme, and even if there is, there is not enough to make one post.

To address this issue, I have decided to do a mix. Sometimes it will be a cluster, sometimes it will be a one anime review on its own. The criteria for the anime to be able to be reviewed on its own is that there are lots of things I need to talk about and/or it does not fit into any theme I have planned for the anime review list.

So, gracing us with the first one anime review is Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation.

(Picture Source: IMDb thru' Google Image Search)

Before I continue, 🚨SPOILERS🚨 as usual, and I would not recommend you to continue reading if you are uncomfortable with topics related to "intimacy".

A synopsis of this anime is basically a middle age man from modern Japan died in a car accident and was reincarnated into another world. In this new world and new life, he aspires to make the best out of it and deviate from his previous life's miseries and depression. However, a huge incident occurred, causing the town he was living in to vanish overnight. Each of the people living in the town was teleported to other places in this world. Rudeus, the main protagonist of this anime and the reincarnated middle age man, embarked on a journey to be reunited with his beloved ones.

So far, it seems like a harmless anime and even the image above shows no other signs of "what is wrong with this anime". It seems decent and could understandably be a very popular anime. right?

(GIF Source: IceGIF thru' Google Image Search)

Okay, I am not saying that it is not a popular anime but it's probably popular for the wrong reasons... I guess...

First off, all of those sexual references!!!!! Oh my god!!! There were so many to the point that i was questioning whether the author himself was hentai artist previously.

Not just that, it also made me question whether that guy was sane in his mind.

Let me give you a quick brief of it.

Firstly, I get it. It was a middle age man who got reincarnated and he retained his adult-like memories which prompted people to think that Rudeus has a very matured thinking for his age.

BUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS FANTASIZING HIS OWN MOTHER'S BREAST WHEN SHE WAS BREASTFEEDING HIM! OH MY GOD! THAT'S HIS OWN MOTHER!

You get what I mean now? About whether the author was sane in his mind?

(GIF Source: GIFSEC thru' Google Image Search)

Secondly, yes, I know, he is undergoing a puberty phase. And kids undergoing puberty phase starts to explore topics like sex and stuff. But Rudeus was so obsessed into sex and stuff that it was just SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE.

Don't give me the bullcrap that "oh, that's because his family lineage are well-known womanizers". NO IT'S NOT NORMAL! The fact that the men in that lineage thought it was okay to fantasize about these things at the young age is absolutely HORRIFYING!!

(GIF Source: Tenor thru' Google Image Search)

And it's not just him and his family. That one young prince from another country was actually fantasizing what he could do to his own teacher while being under her charge is just...

(GIF Source: Tenor thru' Google Image Search)

And I thought it was going to get better, meaning lesser of such scenes and more onto the whole point of their journey, right? No, I was wrong! I even wonder why I bothered continuing with Season 2...

Disclaimer, it was slightly better. Well, mainly because he was super depressed that he couldn't even start thinking about such things anymore...

Alright, onto my second rant point and that is his father, Paul.

Now, this man is a huge pain in the ass. I am not saying he was not a good man, but rather someone whose face you want to plant to the wall at times.

Remember that in the synopsis I said that the people in the town Rudeus was living all got teleported to other areas? Paul got separated from his two wives and one of his two daughters who were living with him at that time. For some unknown reason, he developed depression, but it also didn't seem like he was so far down the rabbit hole that he could not function as seen in the anime.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not being heartless because he got separated. It is definitely a big ordeal and having to worry every single day whether or not his family was dead or alive. Not only that, he goes out to the streets in the new town to search and rescue the people who used to live in the same town as him. I get how far disappointed he must be whenever he saw the person's face, hoping that it was one of his kin but in the end it was not.

But what really irked me is that instead of embracing his son whom he unexpectedly bumped into, he lashed out at him and reprimanded him for "playing around" while he (Paul) was seemingly doing all the work to look for their family.

To me, it feels as though he didn't know what his son had been through, which ironically was the same thing he said to his son, and that his son had to travel through the demon continent just to get to the human continent.

And, yet, while Rudeus was simply elaborating and defending himself, people turned to glare at him as if he was in the wrong. Like, WTH, people?!

(GIF Source: Giphy thru' Google Image)

There's really a lot of wrongs than goods that this anime have and I also don't know if I should recommend it. Minus all of that sexual stuff, which is like 80% of the story, it is, admittedly, a good story.

I don't think I would continue with any upcoming seasons because Rudeus finally managed to cure his inner depression at the end of the second season. That means for any upcoming seasons, those things are coming back.

(GIF Source: Giphy thru' Google Image Search)

#yukihime's anime review #Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation #mushoku tensei

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mtnkat3 · 1 year

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These two ⬆️⬇️ are horrifying to me.

Bridge.

9.11am. Ok. Cat is feed now I can try & explain to you . . . . . just how I feel. Not sure but I'm gonna try.

I know that you . . . . .each pece of you . . . . . is trying, pushing me to remember.

That I am in control of this.

That I need to.. break thru the icy lake, bare of any kind of protection & break thru. To take each step necessary to get on with my life. To rebuild me. To mend us.

And believe me when I say, yesterday's session.. it pushed open a part of me to remember how I felt in 2014. I was ready. But now I'm even more so.

I got stopped, complacent because I was comfortable with the monster I've known, vs the unknown of the world & no longer having a backup to protect me.

The years ... I forgot. I had moments. But.

Now I'm remembering.

Hog would just keep going the way he is. He'll never change. I'd always be treated as already have been.

It's not a safe place.

I am not safe. It is toxic. It is killing me.

Not slowly.. lovingly either.

No, it's by stealing my health, my will to overcome.

The comfort in doing nothing is still a decision.

And that gulled me to no end yesterday!!!

I won't stand for it anymore.

Just as I've felt you . . . . .pulling back & being quiet. You . . . . .needed me to wake up & smell the coffee.

Well.. I have smelt the burnt coffee.

And I refuse for my marshmallows to be turned into coal.

Just as I have full on cravings for you . . . . .

Every moment of every day & night.

Just as I have to crane my neck to see above the tree line at night & possibly catch a glimpse of the stars. The other night I saw part of Orion. It was beautiful. I love seeing stars, without the light noise of human "civilization." To me, more like human clutter & garbage.

I know you . . . . .are protecting me. But I also know that I have hurt you . . . . .

by not making things happen. By not pushing myself harder. I could easily curl up & cry. Let the depression, let the adversary win.

I am not giving up.

Ever.

So my tasks this week are...

Find an apartment, car, trailer.

Find out if I can work out a deal with hog to continue storing things here until I can pack & move them.

But move me out. Now.

It's what my atty has wanted me to do. But dealing with hog & things I am concerned what he will do to my belongings.

As well as funds. He is trying to make me burn thru what I have. So I must find income quickly. And get back to school too.

But I cannot live here anymore.

I must get out. And it is totally up to me.

God, counselor & you . . . . .

Have reminded me.

Thank You Jesus!!!

& thank you . . . . .

my beloved Bears . Angels . . . . .

As much as I miss you . . . . .each piece of you.....

I needed the wake up slap to the side of the head. D'oh!

Just glad it wasn't a frying pan!

Well... yeah, it was too!

Because I miss you . . . . .fiercely!!!!!

So. Sitting to get onto my tasks.

I love & adore you!!!!!

I am counting days like grains of sand.. ⏳⌛

It's my responsibility.

And I pray to make amends with you . . . . .

For eternity.

Bowed. Chin up. Steel spine snapped.

Getting to work.

I am!

YOURS! ! ! ! !

God, please Guide & Teach me.

Please Guide my loves.....too.

Please be with my loves.....Lord as going about the day.

In Your Name Jesus.

Amen.

My truest love never dies because I believe wholeheartedly that I am awaiting God's Plan. And now.. He is ready for me to get to work!

Your complex quirky warrior queen daughter!

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. ✝️☸⚓🙇‍♀️🙏🤲🤓🌂🔗⛓🧰📋👩‍🏫👷‍♀️🧣🧤🥾🏔⚒🛠⚙⚖🔐🗽🏗🧱🏰🛡⚔🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🌲🧶🧵⌚⚡🌟🌠🚀🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾💫🎯🧭🕯

Th.12.29.2022 10.08am est.

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

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Genshin Boys would be Horrible as Disney Princes

Headcanon and Reader Perspective, Drabble

Sojourner Special (Followers Event)

Despite being the gentleman and sweethearts that they are, in the wrong hands, of badly aligned context and universal rules these boys can barely function as princes given their own ideals.

Diluc in Cinderella

Shortest one, oops.

Our Diluc would honestly be too busy for balls if we're doing this canonically, night time of all times. He's not your prince tonight, he's off somewhere doing Knight stuff...

If by chance you did catch him in the ball and he did indulge you with your dance until you escapaded at midnight, he's not gonna question it.

And since he didn't even REMEMBER your face, the next day just goes on as usual. No decree for searching the whole land for your foot or anything, it's just a normal day after a party.

"They left without a word, no name or promise, who am I to say no when they clearly don't want to stay?"

He's a gentleman. Too gentlemanly...

Childe in Sleeping Beauty

In this scenario, Childe embraces his knight-ness more than the princely aspect. I mean sure, he danced with you in the forest all so lovingly, sang along to your pretty lil voice. But when the prophecy came, his focus changed—

To the thrill of fighting a big ass green fire breathing dragon! Big woah, Childe had soooo much fun fighting it that he didn't even cheese it.

He lived for every hour of the fight and made it as slow as possible. Taunting, playing with his PREY- mid-fight the dragon would realize just how strong and horrifying Prince Childe is, but the entertainment had started, and the dance won't end until Childe wills it.

When he DID finally slay the damned thing, he'll come up to your quarters and stare at your sleeping body, and then think "Hey, if them being put under this spell gave me the fight of the century? What if ANOTHER dragon comes? That would be amazing!" No waking up for you, or the whole city for that matter.

Albedo in Frog Princess

You... You don't even get the chance to be the frog princess in here... simply because he himself REFUSES to change back to normal. You have never met a man so intelligent, much more a frog.

"I know of which you are not, I won't be fooled by cardboard crowns and secondhand dresses," you choke as he berates every fiber of your being, "It matters not, I still have much to learn about the life of an amphibian."

He disappears after that and you've never heard from him ever again, although at the back of your mind you're pretty sure he's a live and well, that bastard is too smart to end up as roadkill.

And well, you're right, he's out there in the world of frogs doing frog things. Triumphant over frog science and the other talking creatures he may meet.

He'll also find a way to revert himself back to normal, either making his own cure or just enlisting the help of a princess to bargain.

He might come to you upon the logic of marriage counting you as princess, but don't get too hyped, you won't be treated as his wife. He'd be too busy putting his frog research into paper...

Zhongli in Beauty and the Beast

A beast he may be, he's still dignified and elegant, upholding his end of the bargain so long as the other does the same.

Your father may have trespassed and have taken some flowers in his domain but well, really it's such a petty crime that can easily be solvable. And even if there needs to be punishment incured...

When you stumble to the mansion in search of your father, ready to take his place from his jail cell, you find him and the beast (ohh half-dragon Zhongles) by an elegant table drinking cups of tea with light conversation. Huh?

"There is no need to fret, your father and I are just discussing the terms of our contract. He spoke of his woodworks that I wish to commission in exchange, such good potential should not be wasted."

You can also, well, pay off things within contract? But either way, it would be hella awakward, he won't impose on your life and most certainly not about the curse when you had so much to live for.

Kaeya in Rapunzel

Little bitch, thru and thru. If Eugene is such a criminal, he's taking it TENFOLD.

He's not even gonna be the slightest bit trustworthy for you, little Rapunzel, because he raises so many red flags your frying pan wouldn't even be enough to threaten him. He probably has a really thick skull, and your resolve won't be able to smack that pretty face.

Bargaining won't work, he'd sleight of hand his way out and get the crown knowing you'd hid it in the pot immediately, and then just backflip outta there.

If you manage to get him to get you out, he's not gonna be of help either. Kaeya would be amused with toying with you, leaving you in the dark as you get scared shitless/dance around with some tavern criminals. Otherwise, ehh...

One way or another, he's gonna find a way to get you off his case. Either forcing you to travel with companions that's headed to the city anyways or forcefully knocking you out and heaving you back to your tower.

"You have a mother that never ages lock you up in this tower? Nu uh, sweetie, I'm not dealing with the dark forces of witchery when I'm already well off with the crown."

He got the crown.

Venti in Snow White

I'm sorry what? Free apples? Eternal sleep in a beautiful bed? He's gonna be glad to just take your place. (Spoilers, he would)

He'd be most definitely entertained with your dwarves, playing his tunes. You life would be filled with his lyre as he plays around, not even caring about the other implications of yours or his status in this woodland forest.

You ran away from home? Cool, freedom, man. Wish he could the same without jeopardizing the kingdom and his family. He'd probably take the apple too just for you~

During your rest, he'll come up with the most eloquent song to play for your seven dwarves as he watches your fate sadly. How peaceful you looked, away from the world and from the grips of death.

The dwarves would force him to please try and break the spell, and he'll shrug and indulge- except it didn't break the spell, as he expected it to be. And they are clueless on who else you had encountered in your life to even spare a true love's kiss.

"How saddening, the princess lays. Maddening to those around as they'd say, if only my kiss was enough for the curse to sway." You died, ouch.

Xiao in Mulan

Brutal. Brutal. Brutal. His voicelines would come in sooooo handy here, oh my goodness.

If you miraculously bypassed his analytical gaze enough to hide your sexuality, you're going to die in his training program. He's not gonna go easy on you, not when the fate of the nation lies upon your capability to keep up. You're gonna go through far worse than what true Mulan went through, and you may or may not just die in the process.

If by chance you survived, this would warrant enough respect to not kill you (oh, you lived) but you better not show up again.

He's never gonna be delighted to see your traitorous face again, he can save China on his own, thank you very much. And you know he can. Try and approach him, and a sword would be at your neck once again.

"Foolish gremlin, you think you had the right to present yourself after the treason you willfully committed? We won't crumble at the loss of one person, your job here is done." How sad.

Cyno in Little Mermaid

First of all, wack, mermaids exist! Sadly, that's nothing new for him. He knows a lot with that intelligent mind of his, so it would be no surprise that the existence of such mythical creatures doesn't make him bat an eyelash. He's been living near water, he's not that stupid.

With that in mind, your presence in your first meeting is going to be bad. Very bad. Cyno knows about sirens and he's not at all gonna fall for it, and if by chance he had known you before the ship was wrecked, he's probably gonna be veryyy keen in capturing you instead.

So if by chance you're stupid enough to interact with him and DESIRE to be on land with him, you're gonna deal with a lot of problems.

You're not getting that kiss easily. No, it's a huge challenge. He'd be repulsed in your naivety and will most likely be more concerned on your voice than ever. He'd be so kind to try and give a shot in helping with the cure but it's not the cure you needed.

He'll drown himself in every literature in full concentration just to see if there's any text he can find about curses and muteness. His curiousity would get the best of him, and you'll barely see him after you managed to explain your predicament without the need for words. Octopus woman doesn't even need to show up to intervene.

"A kiss? Surely not, such ailment won't be cured by fairytale methods." And then he goes back to his library once again. And you will be seafoam the next sunrise. Or was it sunset?

"So now that we've established these grounds," Exiled turns to the other two in the area, "Maybe, these boys would be better off as princesses."

And so the trio concocts a new type of fairytale, collaborated to masterpieces soon after.

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @struggljng @ellitx @kookieyachi @dandelion-dreams

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #cyno x reader #albedo x reader #venti x reader #zhongli x reader #childe x reader #xiao x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #exile.flower #exile.circlet #disney genshin #ajajjajajaja #this was made on impulse #sojourner special

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 4 years

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Falling - REQUESTED

Chris Evans x Wife!Reader

Warnings: Cheating, Angst, Mentions of Cheating/Photos Summary: You went on a business trip for the week and when you return to New York. Your husband friend calls you over to tell you. Chris wasn’t all alone when you were gone.

A/N: This is some angst. Yall be giving me a lot of sad fics. And heads up, for those who requested, they might or might not be short. I’m sorry if they are not what you expected. I’m in a little rush right now due to school and work so I’m really trying to get these things done for you and that I have a chance to relax and prepare for the challenges.

Thank you!

Request: Hi! I have a request uhm..Chris Evans x wife!reader. When y/n was gone for a business trip and Chris cheated on her with other girl without her knowing but she found out when Sebastian Stan told her :)

It had been a week since you have left New York for a business trip in London for a while. Traveling had been your main thing around almost 5 times a month. It wasn’t the best but you’ve earned a lot of money for it and it was nice to go somewhere new. You took the first flight that was heading out in the morning. You were desperate to get home soon as possible.

So once you got on the plane and took your seat, you rested your eyes for a bit, read a book recommended by your husband of four years. Chris was an actor in many films and he found you in such a strange place before he asked you to marry him.

An after party in New York was not a place you’d meet your husband. You remembered you two got kicked out of the party and then you just ended up going out more and more. His fans slowly warmed up to you and Chris kept you for a long time.

He cherished you like no other.

Gave you the attention he desired. Waking up every morning to see him staring at you with those hazy blue eyes. Going on walks with Dodger was always a morning thing you’d do with Chris.

You couldn’t be happier.

After hours on the plane, you landed and took a cab back to your place. You didn’t bother to message Chris because you’d surprise him when you or him walk through the front door. You had a place in New York while Chris held his in Boston and Los Angeles. He decided to stay in New York to wait for your return.

Taking the elevator up to your place, your leg bounced up and down. An anxious feeling that you’ve been doing since you landed.

When the elevator dinged, you nervous stepped out and made your way to the front door. Using your key to open the door, you could hear faint voices that were arguing towards each other. You furrowed your brows and leaned forward to look around the corner.

Two men were in the living room, one had his arm out like he was gesturing to someone. “If you don’t tell her, I will. Do you know how everyone on the damn internet will react?”

Your heel clicked on the hard floor and the two men turned. “Chris?” You asked, your eyes look over to the other man and your face drops, “Sebastian?” Seb’s shoulders drop and he lowers his head. Chris was frozen and his face was horrified and now you noticed a new feature.

Tears.

Why was he crying?

“What’s going on?” You asked. Sebastian finally looks back at Chris to answer that. Those blue eyes began to glisten and his breathing was rigid. “I can... Y/N, I’m sorry-”

“Sebastian-”

“Chris says he wasn’t the one who started it,” Sebastian pulls out his phone and taps on the screen. You slowly walked up while Sebastian pulls out the website. He shows you his phone and you were afraid to look. Looking down, you see photos.

Photos of Chris in Boston and beside him was a tall woman. Taller than you. Her hair was longer than yours, different shade of color. Her smile was wide that could almost match Chris’s in the photos. Chris stutters, “Sebastian, please. Y/N, I-”

“When was this?” You cut him off, you take Sebastian’s phone and held it up to him. Chris swallows hard. “When was this!” You shout, your arm falls, “And you said you stayed here. So you lied two times.”

Chris shakes his head, “I was... Y/N, you know I would never. She’s a friend.” “Chris, you know what photos have been taken, the media is already going crazy over them and you’ve basically fucked yourself up,” Sebastian growls. You look up from the photos of the parties Chris came out of with the girl. Tears began to flood and they slipped without permission. Your bottom lip quivers, “Sebastian, can you excuse us?” You lowly say.

He doesn’t hesitate to deny but he turns, “I’ll be outside if you need me,” He says to you only. Sebastian was a good friend to you and he’d never lie to you. You both hear the door close and Chris began to walk up to you to reason but you pushed him lightly. “Don’t.”

“Sweetheart-”

“How could you?” You ask, Chris shook his head and raised his hand up to run it through his hair. You then shook yours, “I hope you’re happy about yourself. Not everyone is going to take your side of the story. You’ve ruined your reputation in life.” Chris takes the chance to sit down on the chair, leaning on his knees, sniffling in regret.

You hear a choke sob from him and your face softens. The thought of him breaking in front of you for some he did, you weren’t sure to believe him. Like some man claiming to be innocent in front of the judge by feeling mournful knowing that he’s guilty. You couldn’t take the bait.

“I’m leaving. I’ll be staying with Sebastian for a few days until this is all cleared up. And I’m sure you’ll hear from me soon with papers. I can’t do this anymore, Chris.” You turned your footing and began to walk away till his hand reaches out to your wrist and stopped you.

Turning, his head was still low, looking into his lap. His fingers caressed yours, slowly feeling your soft and warm hands. More tears fell from your eyes as his fingers slowly slipped away from yours to let you go. His hand falling back into his lap, he didn’t look up to see you leave.

Sebastian never spoke to you on your way out of the building. He accepted your request to stay at his place till everything cleared up. Your social media were going crazy and you muted the notifications and turned off your phone with a sigh.

Sebastian turns. “I truly am sorry. I would’ve told you sooner but the way he was talking sounded like they were just friends but it got worse that night and-”

“It’s okay,” You muttered, “I just hope this will all go away soon.” Sebastian frowns and reaches over with his free hand and held your hand to reassure you. “It will. I promise. You’re not the only person to go through this and have it go trending on the media.” You turned away to look out the window and the rain began to pour on the window.

And you made the call right after you got to Sebastian’s place. And Chris never bothered to call or text.

Official Taglist:

@jtargaryen18 @donutloverxo @axen-gers @captainchrisbaby @patzammit @bucksgoat @la-cey @void-hoechlin @lovepeacefood @stargazingfangirl18 @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @stop-obsessing-over-those-actors @star-spangled-beard-burn @nickysurfer28 @nbarnes @mcntsee @adriannajackson @chuckbass-love @sebbystanlover-vk @onetwo3000 @captainamerica-is-bae @cheeseburgersstuff @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @rororo06 @elliee1497 @navybrat817 @waywardodysseys @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @this-is-a-chilis-drive-thru @what-is-your-plan-today @princess-evans-addict @bval-1

Want a tag? Just ask!

#chris evans x reader #angst #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #requested by anon #chris evans imagines #chris evans angst #chris evans #sebastian stan x reader

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readerinsertfanfiction · 3 years

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Neeeeeeemo darling❤❤❤! Eeeeeeeep😆😆😆 okay i know i should probs be sleeping buuuut😅😅😅 hehehe yeah😅last spam for the night, else ima kick myself tomorrow for staying up past bedtime 😅😅😅 anyways! 😂😂😂

Could i pretty please with all the candy ontop request a comfort fic with my dearest Theo (hehehe cause no spam would be complete witbout my dearest theodorkus) ❤❤❤❤so basically i loved ya nobu comfort fic so much and like.... my heart melts just as much with fics where the suitors gets comforted and built up🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😳😳😳😳plus i feel like Theo needs one big hug for all the shit he goes through and has gone thru! Plus his work o holiness ❤❤☺😳

😳hehehe love ya to infinity! Hehehe okay i am finally off to bed😅for reals this time😅😅can ya tell i was thinking about that nobu comfort fic you did😅😅😅and then was like u know who else needs cuddles 😂😂//insert that meme of remembering unfinished homework 😂😂❤😳pfffffft whooooops left ya another essay 😅😅😅😳😳😳😳 night darling Nemo❤❤❤❤may u go to bed early and have sweet dreams🍁❤🥺

Zetaaaaa-daaaaarling!!! Y u no sleep? No kicking yourself, only sleeping more and less gym time and more me-time! 😂😂😂

I’m surprised that the comfort the suitor fics are getting popular now, because it isn’t like it is the first time I write them, just the first time I wrote for Nobu, I guess. 😂😂😂

I lub your rambles, Zeta-dearest. They’re so cute and really brightens the mood and makes your requests not so standard as well (and gives me a reason to talk more as well because apparently Tumblr still thinks I’m an oyster 😅😅😅).

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Character: Theodor(k)us van Gogh

Prompt: Some comfort for the dork

When Theo woke up that day he knew that there was something off. The cool of the morning chilled him, his blankets were not enough, and there was an empty space next to him. A space usually occupied by you, but Theo knew that you had to leave early today. Yet, the space was glaring at him, the spot already cool from the heat that had evaporated.

Even the colours of the world seemed a little dimmer, duller. The garden wasn’t as captivating, his brother’s paintings didn’t fill him with the joy and spark he usually felt. And then there was the light throbbing of his scar. It felt sore and tender as the man groaned into his pillow, wondering what the day had planned for him.

"Sorry, they're a little burned," Sebastian had apologised at the breakfast table, horrifying him further. Was this how his entire day was to go? The bottle of maple syrup that Theo was so known to love was also half empty, though in the back of his mind an annoying voice told him to cheer up, followed by your chipper encouraging one;

'Kop op! You can still pour it!'

Theodorus wondered when you would return. He knew that you lived your own life just like he had his own. He even admired you for it, encouraging you to pursue your own path despite the strange times. But without you by his side Theo’s day felt off, strange, and it was the space next to him that he was missing. It felt as if eons had passed since he had felt your warmth, but he knew that he was being dramatic if he were to express it.

'Of all days to be busy…' he thought. A gentle press onto his shoulder followed and the sunny smile of his brother came into view.

"Goedemorgen Theo," Vincent chirped, but even his beloved brother's winning smile didn't help defrost the chill within. As if the chill he had frozen over instead, holding him hostage in this state of demurity and slight helplessness.

"Are you alright?" Vincent had questioned, those clear blue eyes nothing but sincerity and worry. It made Theo feel even worse who could only grimace back at his older brother and reassure the man that he was, perhaps just a little tired.

“The old chap is missing his darling,” Arthur had beamed up instead, hoping to draw out a reaction from Theo. The silence he was met with and the solemn confirmation within those dark blue eyes of the Dutchman floored even the infamous author, however. This had been a look that Theo hadn’t worn in a long while, at least not since you entered into his life.

Theo wasn’t the type to wear his emotions openly. Guarded as he was he kept them all securely locked away, sometimes even from himself as he didn’t want to be reminded of his own darkness and traumas. It had taken him so long to finally open up to you, and even then he had moments in which he relapsed.

Even the pompous asses of the Académie seemed to have taken note of his solemnity, for once keeping out of his way as they stared after him, striding in and out of the place as chitchats were kept to a bare minimum. A reaction that was for the best, for Theo didn’t feel like barking for once. Not at them, or at anyone.

“A note?”

The folded piece of paper stretched out to him came from a young boy that the two of you had helped. A budding talent, Theo had only needed to see the sand drawings the boy had made with his stick and an apprenticeship later the boy had turned into a little friend.

“I was told to give this one if you’re sad,” the boy explained, earning a quirk from Theo’s brows as he held out his hand, picking the note with his other.

“And if I was not?” he inquired, but the boy didn’t need that many words to understand what the art-dealer wanted;

“Then there was none, other than to tell you to ditch your hat.”

The child was much too witty as well, but the man let it slide as he chuckled, a grin spreading over his face for the first time of the day. With a tip of his hat the male turned away, leaving the last ignored as he unfolded the note;

‘Lonely? Ditch the hat. :) <3’

This earned another chuckle from the man, your familiar hand and the strange symbols that were supposed to mean something lifted something within him. When he looked up from the note the sky seemed a little bluer and the sun a bit brighter.

Adjusting his hat Theo pulled the piece off, looking down at the gray cap that matched his suit so well. “If that would summon you,” he contemplated. He often ignored your jabs at his hat, finding nothing wrong with the piece. But if he had to choose between the two of you his choice would have been easily made. It didn’t matter how attached he pretended to be, there were other hats, but there was only one you.

“Did you ditch it?” your voice popped up, your figure peeking up at him from behind as your face fell at the sight of the hat in his hands, “at least it isn’t on your head,” you pouted, rather disappointed, though grimaced at him all the same as Theo stared at you rather dumbfounded.

“Surprise?” you tell the man with a chuckle as you move your hands in the air, “I just finished, let’s go home together?”

Theo didn’t need to be asked a second time. Nor did he manage to answer in a smart quip or with his usual classics. The hat dropped out of his hand and arms wrapped around you, pulling you in and close as he felt himself defrost against your warmth. An exhale of relief followed after as now the man felt whole once more. A huff from your side filled with mirth ringing in his ears and committed to memory.

“Oh, who is the pup now,” you jovially exclaim, but you pat his back all the same. Comforting the man that would never admit the gloom and doom of the hours spent without you.

#ikevam theo #ikevamp theo #ikemen theo #ikemen vampire theo #ikemen vampire #ikevam #ikevamp #ikevam x reader #ikevamp x reader #ikemen vampire x reader

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fandom-imagination-ss · 3 years

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Imagine: Spike pretending too be human and you catch him with a smoke and he instantly reminders they kill

Author note: this is completely fluffy and i dont know why i thought of this but i need too write more imagines about spike lol

I did not proof read.. I will Never proof read! No regrets!

“SPIKE!”

Catching Spike with a smoke in his hand you were utterly horrified. What a thing too have! In this date in age with all the warnings out there and knowledge they kill, they kill people around you who inhales that poison. But here he was. Your boyfriend.- well not boyfriend. Your gentleman friend who you were fond of but haven’t openly talked about your feelings but it was pretty understood that you were head over heels for the man and He was the same. Communication was NOT your strong suit.

Spike quickly gagged and pulled the cigarette out remembering that humans die from it. He snuffed it quickly with his foot. Not wanting you too catch a whiff of that smoke. He remembered that your grandpa died from smoking nad how he had a hole in his neck and a hand that was black and rotting off. Not because of the smoking but it was from a fungus poison he got in the war. Which always stuck out. Either way. He figured he would only smoke awya from you. But now you caught him.

dashing over you spoke, “Spike you know that stuff kills!”

“Yea Spike. Dont you know that kills”

Turing your attention seeing Faith you were stunned last time you saw her she was leaving Sunnyvale and she gave you a very serious talk about how you should “hoe it up” as she put it. You gasped walking over giving her a hug. Faith was like a cactus prickly as hell but on the inside. All gooey and watery. She stated multiple times you were the only friend she had in this hell of a town. And you were happy too see her back. Stunned she knew Spike those.

before you could question it, the entire gang appeared, Buffy, Willow , Xander they walked over as Willow suggested you help her with studying. Before you could say anything you were ushered away by her and Xander.

Faith watched as you walked off as she turned too Buffy, “she still doesn’t know?”

“No- it’s- it’s better this way..”

faith turned too Spike as she spoke, “she knows this beef of a man those.”

“We aren’t telling her!” Spike spat out stepping towards Faith. He couldn’t physically harm her not without causing Sheering pain thru his skull which would last for hours and he was hoping too catch up too you and take you too a movie.

“Spike is in love.”

Buffy teasing stated as Spike snapped for her too shut up as Faith chuckled, “aw does Spike have a little crush on Y/N?” Spike looked at Faith annoyed as Buffy spoke, “they are annoyingly sweet together. I suggested we tell her. But Spike refuses.”

“we aren’t bringing her into he darkness.. she deserves better.” Spike snarled at the two slayers as Faith looked at Spiek stunned,”you are a vampire- her being close too you draws her more and more into the darkness- its amazing she hasn’t died or figured it out yet.”

Everyone went quite as you dashed back into the area while Willow was chasing after you as you walked over too Spike, “William! I am so dissapointed in you! For having a cigarette in this day of age! We are going too the library later and I’m going too show you what is happening too your lungs with all that toxic slug going into your lungs!”

it was the first time Anyone has heard you call him “William” it wasn’t Spikes he hears you call him that often but never in a harsh tone as he stepped closer, “I’m sorry.. let me- shower and clean up and you can educate me.. then after let me take your oo the movies?” You nodded your head agreeing still annoyed at him but happy too have some alone time with him.then you caught the scene in the room everyone was looking horrified at you, ‘what?” You asked as Spike stepped over cupping your face softly.

“Nothing Love- just catching up with faith here. But i think were done.Let’s go - you can scream at me in the shower.” You agreed walking off with Spike.

“when the hell did that happen?’ Faith asked as Buffy shook her head, “She was reading poetry that he wrote— it was for a assignment and. They just hit it off.”

“Somebody has too tell her.”

Willow stated as Xander spoke, “when did he get a shower in there?”

Everyone ignored the shower question as Faith spoke, “what the Hell did he tell her about living in a crept?”

‘No one else is curious about the plumbing in there?”

Buffy answered Faith. “I have No idea but she never questioned it.” Willow added, “I think he told her that it was he’s family crept and it was the cheapest way too live, and well Y/N Uncle lives in the tunnels in New York- i dont think she questioned it.”

Faith shook her head, “she has such a strange life.”

“The man has running functional water under thre? A complete shower is NO oNE else curious how he got that?!”

#spike #spike imagine #Buffy the vampire slayer #Buffy the vampire slayer imagine #William the bloody #William the bloody imagine #BTVS #BTVS imagine #fandom imagine #imagine #faith #willow #Xander

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hankwritten · 3 years

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No Thru Traffic

Gen, 1k

Part of the DontNeedADiscord Pride Week, Day 6: Parade

“I’m really sorry Administrator,” I coughed into my tissue. “It really is- achoo-! It really is that bad. But at least it came after I got all that work done yesterday, right?”

The slightly pixelated Administrator on the other end of the Zoom call did not chime in in agreement. She narrowed her eyes, and I swallowed, hoping the sweat beading down the side of my face added to the charade.

After several tense seconds, the Administrator said, “very well. But I expect you early tomorrow morning to make up for the lost contracts.”

“Oh d-definitely,” I sniffed. “I’m sure it’ll be c-cleared up by tomorrow,”

“It better be. Administrator out.”

Her face hung frozen for a half second before the call dropped, replaced by a black void on my screen. I cautiously closed the webcam cover, just in case.

Then, I flew into a frenzy, wiping off the makeup I’d used put fake bags under the eyes. From my nose I removed two stubs of tissue, and took in a glorious breath now that I was freed from stuffy-nostrils. The sweat was real though. I’d never lied to the Administrator before, never to her face, and the sudden adrenaline as I realized what I’d just pulled off threatened to jitter me out of my skin.

“Yes!” I said, punching the air. “Ha! I did it!”

The exultation was short lived, as my head whipped to where my laptop was still sitting open. The call was over but…better be extra safe and power that off before I go.

I changed out of the grubby, sick-girl pajamas, and went to my closet. Habitually, my hand went to one of my numerous purple tops, but stopped just short of the hanger. Was this what I was going to wear, today of all days? Same boring work clothes I did for the other three hundred sixty-four days a year? I drew my hand back and frowned.

Screw it. Who knew when the next time I’d work up the nerve to do this again?

I began shoving hangers aside, heavy with their deep whooshing as I sorted through dozens and dozens of painfully similar button downs. Sometimes there was even a dress! How original! So I just kept searching and searching until-

There! Right at the back: an orange Hawaiian shirt I’d worn exactly once, back when I’d been forced to take my government mandated vacation. I pulled it on with gusto.

The tangles came free from my hair—I hadn’t brushed it yet that morning in order to give it that “sickly” look—and then I was in front of the bathroom mirror. Biting my lip, I looked down at the facepaints I’d bought on an impulse, thinking at the time I could paint little flags on my cheeks, but now that the time was upon me I wondered if it was too much. Already I was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, how much more wild was I willing to get?

But, well, since I’d already bought them…

Fifteen minutes later, I examined myself in the mirror again, and gave a relieved sigh. Hadn’t managed to smudge a thing!

Sensible shoes, my bus pass, and then I was off.

The parade was vibrant, so much better in person instead of looking at YouTube clips later and sighing wistfully. My first day off to coincide with it ever, and all I’d had to do was a little office subterfuge. Now, as long as I didn’t end up in any photos, no one would know I’d been here at all! Everything was going to be absolutely-

“-Oof, entschuldigung, I did not see you there.” The man who’d just bumped into me adjusted his glasses. “Miss Pauling?”

“Medic?” I gaped. “What are you doing here?”

“I am here for the parade of course,” he said, gesturing around. He was dressed for it, his usual vest replaced with one of horizontal rainbow stripes. “As are you, I assume.”

“Yes but,” I stumbled over my words. “What about work?”

“Ah, the Voice? I simply told her I was sick.”

I felt my spirits sink. “Did you now.” I rubbed my face, only remembering to avoid the facepaint at the last second. “It’s fine. Great to see you actually. As long as no one else recognizes us I’m sure we’re-”

“Doktor! Miss Pauling!”

“Aw jeez.”

Pushing through the crowd to greet them was the Heavy Weapons Guy—even worse, Engie appeared to be tagging along behind him, discussing a brochure with a unicorn-costume clad Pyro.

“Did not expect to see you here,” Heavy said as he made it to our side of the street. “Thought little Pauling must work.”

“Could say the same to you guys!” I said, irritation creeping into my voice. “Don’t tell me you all just played hookey together?”

“Naw,” Engie replied. “Didn’t know any of these fellers were coming until we all ran into each other.”

“This is bad,” I began to titter. “If we’re here, then who’s at the office?”

“…Is this a bad time to tell you that Demo ‘n Soldier are coming at us from down the street?”

I whipped around. Sure enough, there they were: Soldier with rainbow-striped American flag tied around his shoulders, and Demo with his afro dyed a deep commitment to purple.

“Ahhhhh!” I couldn’t help but let out. “Why did you all have to skip work at the same time as me?”

“We all wanted to come to the parade, lass.” Then, noting my distress, Demo added with a wink, “don’t fret! The old woman won’t know a thing. Currently, I’m home in bed with the measles.”

“The measles,” I deadpanned. I turned to our now rather obstructing group. “And what did the rest of you say?”

“Gingivitis,” Soldier offered.

“Chicken pox.”

“Halitosis.”

“Cat Scratch Fever,” Scout said, taking a bite from a hot dog.

“Scout!” I demanded. “When did you get here?”

He shrugged. “Don’t blame me, I was just following Spy, seeing why he was sneaking around and crap.”

“And I told you,” Spy’s voice replied, “that I was merely following the bushman and seeing what he was up to.”

“Wankers.”

Maybe I should just stop turning around. Then my coworkers would have to stop randomly appearing behind me, right?

“That’s literally everyone,” I berated them all. This time, when I rubbed my palms under my glasses, I did end up smudging the paint, streaks of white and pink running up my cheeks. “Uhg, we’re so screwed. What is the Administrator going to think when she walks in to the office and sees-”

“Absolutely no one?”

Okay. It looked like I’d have to turn around in a horrified manner one more time.

The Administrator parted the crowd around her, not the least because her shoulder pads threatened to stab anyone who got too close. Everyone shrank before her, except for Heavy maybe because I don’t think he has it in him to shrink before anyone.

“Helen,” I started, then cleared my throat. “I guess you uh…took a guess where we all went huh?”

“That I did.” She blinked down at her employees. “I must say I am disappointed. Of course, I expect something like this from these idiots, but from you Miss Pauling? Couldn’t even engineer a decent structural emergency in order to justify shirking your work. At the very least you could have flooded the building, or released feral opossums into the ventilation.”

“HEY NOW,” Soldier barked from the back of the group. “Have you been reading my itinerary? Because it very clearly says SOLDIER’S DAY PLANNER, DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE SOLDIER OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOU!”

“…Are you saying you wanted me to fabricate an emergency?” I asked, perplexed.

“It would at least have been more convincing than nine separate emails from my employees, all claiming different maladies. One of which was,” she looked at her phone, “‘A Case of the Mondays’.”

“It is actually proven that worker productivity is up to thirty-three percent lower at the beginning of the week,” Medic justified.

The Administrator stared at him. “It’s Thursday.”

“Alright, alright,” Engineer butt in. “I think we can all agree that we may have messed up a little. Told a few harmless lies about medical issues we may or may not have. But that ain’t exclusive to Miss P here! We all’ve been lying ‘round here, and it ain’t fair to single her out.”

“The laborer is right,” Spy agreed. “The blame should fall on all of us.”

One by one, to my amazement, the others spoke up, or nodded in agreement. When I glanced up at the Administrator again, she had an eyebrow raised, as though I had somehow orchestrated this as well.

“I could instruct you all to return to work, you know,” she said. “It is only fair that your recrimination should begin there. However…”

“You showed up, saw how sick it was, and decided you’re going to hang out and eat hot dogs with us instead?” Scout asked.

She glared at him. “I still have work that must be done before the end of the day. But, it appears Miss Pauling has tripled her workload in the week leading up to today, she has effectively removed any urgency from the rest of your duties. Thanks to her foresight, you are technically not needed at the office today.”

“Aih! Way to go lassie!” Demo said, squeezing me around the shoulders until only my toes were on the ground. Similar congratulations were offered, everyone getting in a pat on the back.

“You inspire great loyalty, Miss Pauling,” she said. “But do not let this happen again.” With that she turned, and disappeared into the revelry.

“Wow,” I said. “I think I’m going to have a heart attack now.”

“Have one when the parade is over!” Soldier demanded. “Look! Floats!”

There certainly were floats. As the chatter died down, and everyone celebrated their good luck, I was left standing among my friends with a new appreciation, these people who’d stuck by me when it’d counted. They were a bit of a colorful bunch but, hey, who better to celebrate pride with than them?

#dnadprideweek2021 #tf2 fanfiction

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k-itsmaywriting · 3 years

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AnS Fic Rec Bingo

A fic that got you involved in fandom: Drink Deep of Lethe by @sabraeal | T In short: it has everything I love about early Shirayuki, early Obi, and early Obiyuki. Two people, both on the run, meeting in the deep Wood and converging paths by pure chance. It’s such a fun read!! I first read this on Obiyuki Week 2016 and was just so inspired that I was like “man, I really want to write something for this event too” :D So that is how it got me involved in the fandom.

Made you laugh out loud: I Should’ve Met You Yesterday by @bubblesthemonsterartist | E First of all, I eat ‘Obi gets a support system kicking and screaming’ with a spoon. Second, and more specific to this bingo square, bb Aki is an agent of love and chaos and Obi has absolutely 0 game when it comes to Shirayuki. And it’s the cutest and funniest story!!! Things that made me laugh include: the entire chapter Obi and Aki meet Zen and Mitsuhide, “Here lies what was left of Obi’s game” scene, and Aki trying to get dada to kiss Shirayuki’s booboo, AND MUCH MORE.

Favourite trope reversal: An Earthly Knight by @claudeng80 | T I find fae stories really intriguing and interesting even though (or maybe even because) I know like, the bare minimum of background info. Like they’re just so cool and fun. ANYWAY, I loveddddd how even though Obi is Shirayuki’s guard, this fic is her trying to rescue him in a way only she can - with DETERMINATION and IMMENSE BRAVERY <3 A beautiful story.

Action-packed fight scene: The Moon, the Window, the Knife by @glitter-and-golden | G Over 2000 words and my breath was held the entire time. A super cool fic about Wistal castle being attacked by NINJAS which also means OBI BADASSERY :’D But also it’s not Obi if he doesn’t get hurt in the process and him and Shirayuki protecting each other, because we love that food. Delicious. 5 stars.

Gen fic: It’s a Difficult Conversation by @nebluus | T A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION IT WAS INDEED. For Ryuu, being barely a teen who has people he really looks up to, seeing those people hurt is rough. And for a healer, not being able to help them in the way he knows best is DOUBLEY ROUGH. But I just love that Shirayuki sits with him and explains this very hard stuff about trauma in the most compassionate and understanding way.

Canon divergent: i am become death by @bubblesthemonsterartist | M So in 2017 Bubbles and ISM decided to have an angst battle and the rest of us took a ton of collateral damage to the emotions like NYC at the end of an Avengers movie. In answering the question ‘what if Obi didn’t find Shirayuki in time during Tanbarun arc?’, Bubbles weaves this piece of Absolute Art and it’s just...amazing. Horrifies me in the best of ways.

Wept real tears: Nothing Was My Own (Before I Loved You) by @sabraeal | T Specifically, Making Good made me cry real tears. We love a good slow burn, especially that moment where one of them realises they’re in love with the other and just HOW important they are in their life. It’s beautiful and moving!! And also has fluffy AND funny Obiyuki moments that make me squeal. But also the entire WFB series is an AMAZING fic of everybody’s journey thru college and young adult lives and I think about it all the time.

FREE SPACE: The Most Versatile of Guards by @claudeng80 | T A favourite of mine!!!!! :DD So many fun and cool adventure times with herbwitch!Shirayuki and shapeshifter!Obi and I loveddd the Mihaya interludes. The entire world is just so creative and seeing all the characters as different beings is so much fun. And their romance makes me SQUEEEEEEE.

Fav fanmade OC: I gotta give this one to Aki from I Should’ve Met You Yesterday. Number one precious bb with the MOST personality and he’s so much fun to read.

First AnS fic you read: The Automation Heart by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T The first chapter ALREADY had me wrecked. In general AND for this ship. I am also due for a reread. But I remember reading all the chapters that were published then in a single night just being like “oh my god this is so good. MOAR PLS” *clicks next chapter*

Favourite minor character: Garack Gazelt, particularly in The road to Clarines is gravel (M) by @codango, (don’t go) making something out of nothing (T) by @sabraeal, and Dead Men Tell No Tales by @bubblesthemonsterartist (T) (the last which I need to go into the AO3 comments and yell about because OHHHH MY GOD). I always love seeing her. She’s badass and smart and amazing and every time I see her I go *heart eyes*

WIP: Damned by @ruleofexception | No rating ZOMBIES ARE SCARY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT’S ALSO SCARY??? BEING ALONE. AND HAVING YOUR FREEDOM TAKEN AWAY. But no really I love sooo many things about this fic, like the wonderful Found Family, tragic backstories and some amazing story arcs. I look forward to every time this updates.

Canon compliant: Knots by @krispy-kream | G ABSOLUTE FANDOM CLASSIC 10/10. I just love how it all starts as a game for him. Because why take it seriously when he can’t have her for real? AND THEN HE GOES OH SHIT, OH FUCK I’M IN TOO DEEP. And things just unfold wonderfully from there!!!!! Like it’s such a classic “Obi is wrecked and he is slowly losing it with how much he likes his Miss”.

One-shot: Life Eternal by @ruleofexception | No rating Devil!Obi and Angel!Shirayuki is just...THE MOST WONDERFUL OF CONCEPTS. And not only are they on opposite sides, working against each other to either make people’s lives better or worse, she becomes a literal devil’s GUARDIAN ANGEL. And that makes way for such an interesting story and I love its open end <3 It was a really fun fic!!

Rare pair: Cookies for Shikito (Shirayuki x Shikito) by @claudeng80 | G PLS THIS FIC IS SO FLUFFY <3 <3 <3 They’re such a cute ship. Just two absolute cinnamon buns spending time together while Shirayuki makes cookies and Shikito PROTECCS. They’re so fluttery and adorable!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!

AU you took a chance on and now love: Sic Semper Monstrum by @sabraeal | T I simply do not know many Things, including common source materials for AUs. Including Pacific Rim, which I still haven’t watched (but need to, PROBABLY) but I. LOVE. THIS. AU. The importance that is placed on intimacy and emotional connection with the entire concept of drifting and also just like, life in general??? I thoroughly enjoy (as always) the exploration of everyone’s thoughts and backstories and relationships and also psychologist!Shirayuki <3

Pre-canon: ashes in the mouth, char the tongue by @infinitelystrangemachinex | T Both a pre-canon (childhood friends) and future fic!! The summary explains it better than I could: “Obi finally takes Shirayuki back to Tanbarun, but she gets more than she bargained for.” This fic ruined me (in a good way) and kicked my heart out of my chest and it rolled into a gutter (in a good way) and I almost missed my tram stop the first time I read it because I was so wrapped up in it. It was a RIDE.

#ansficbingo #THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK #aw the highlighter isn't as green on my laptop #o well

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lasteverafter · 4 years

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YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT HER, HAVEN’T YOU? THE NEVER WHO DOESN’T WANT HER STORY --- JOY OF FOXWOOD.

hey remember chaddick’s portrait? you do now.

joy is the brainchild of me and one wretched teapot so this time there was less thinking involved on my part. / @wretchedteapot i’m stealing ur content.

didn’t mean we didn’t have to do some serious mental gymnastics though.

(just give us ages already gdi)

so yeah, JOY!!! she’s an absolute sweetheart, befitting of her name but also she rarely feels actual joy!!!! because of her mountain of issues!!

she’s the daughter of odile / the black swan from swan lake.

and she’s basically a never, but she doesn’t want to be because HELLO has anyone ever thought about the system in sge .... like you are literally killing your classmates. why isn’t anyone breaking over being destined to die in a very bad way.

my canon now in my canon we break the school into ruins!!! bye!! nada!! just rocks and rubble!!!

we’re putting in a lil bit of social reform into her character!!!

her full name is joy tiane we’re not pulling a soman here right now.

around 16-18. she’s a bit older than the main cast of sge and probably a year ahead. the prime time for a mid-life crisis!1!!1!!

she’s an only child and lives in foxwood alongside her family.

technically a never. but it too nice to be accept as one but too evil to be accepted by evers f.

first on her mountain of issues is the fact that she’s a splitting image of the daughter of odette / the swan queen, albeit more akin to a darker twin. while the other girl has light golden hair and fair darling blue eyes, joy has stark black hair and dark DARK brown eyes.

girl doesn’t even have an appearance to call her own. whew! issues.

is of asian descent, very willowy, lean and tall - a ballet dancer physique.

her hair is quite long but very straight. slightly choppy at the ends but generally looks very silky and nice.

but has really long lean muscular legs and is quite tall, 168cm.

her vibes are cottagecore bisexual who doesn’t want to be evil but also has her very evil grandpa and mother breathing down her neck!!

she’s a very sweet girl, enjoys making pies and cake but breaks down once a week cause she doesn’t want to die a gruesome death and accept her destiny!!!

joy: i made pie :D evers: TO POISON US WITH???????? HOW DARE joy: not again.

neighbours and childhood friends with the gremlaine brothers. they hang out together and joy often writes back to them in school.

when she goes shes like i will send everything back and i will tell you ev er y t h i ng

joy: ur my only friend here chaddick chaddick: dies joy: tf am i supposed to do now?

joy very much accepted to go to the school for bad because fuck home fuck mom bad memories. i only have one month worth of good memories here it’s not worth it.

has mommy issues. her mom is very much a huge pusher for joy to do bad things and be villainous when joy literally only wants to bake cake.

her grandfather is really pleased with a granddaughter who looks exactly like odette’s kid!!!! his scheme isn’t over yet just wait.

very soft just radiates sunny vibes, but the evers don’t like nevers and nevers don’t like soft babies like her.

can get REALLY prickly though, especially when you make her mad. she is literally going to wage a war against you. you can literally feel her murderous bad vibes.

cold shoulder queen. doesn’t give a fuck about you if you spite her lmao.

[insert name here]: HELP I CAN’T SWIM joy: your point? [insert name here]: I’M DROWNING joy: and im reading

she doesn’t like it when her villain instincts take over but its kind of a part of her and she can’t deny her blood (as much as she’d like it).

joy: why does magical violence have to be the last resort. can’t it be like. the fifth.

dances ballet!! just a dancer. can’t do any other sport to save her life. sings sometimes.

as a result just walks around in ballet shoes 24/7. she used to take them off but now she’s just like. yeah.

joy: breaks in her pointe shoes the evers that are passing through: oh my god she’s murdering someone or something. the nevers on the floor beneath: oh my god what kind of never DANCES??

cracks her neck and back a lot. it’s horrifying for the evers she’s around lmaoo.

sometimes ~ waddles ~ like duckies (OR SWANS HAHAHA) because she walks with her feet turned out. she can turn back in, she’s just too tired to.

sprawls a lot. chairs are her worst enemy.

going thru a serious identity issue someone help the poor girl.

her magic specialty is curses but she absolutely fails uglification because her blood curse prevents her from looking any different from the daughter of odette.

lives in tower vice. has a horrible relationship with her dorm mates but wbk.

has prosopagnosia / face blindness. it’s not too bad but she’s awful with remembering faces and it takes very long to remember a face.

ironic considering her mother’s story lol. but yes! if you suddenly change your hair joy probably has no idea who you are.

also why she rarely calls people by their name.

also comes with a healthy dose of anxiety and coming off as rude or uncaring.

that’s why she always wears a red bow in her hair, cause she’s not going to recognise herself in the mirror if she doesn’t. looks in the mirror and goes who’s that bitch.

when you wanna mix things up a bit and wear a different colour bow but then you don’t recognise yourself anymore.

probably introduced herself to the brothers four times in a span of two months. literally cannot tell them apart most of the time because they all looking the fucking same.

joy: hey there’s a new kid next door :D the kid: is actually three similar looking guys joy: now hold on a minute.

joy with people she likes: 🔮🌹💖🌺💖🌹🔮 joy with people she doesn't like: 💔💢🔨⚔️ 🔨 💢 💔

#* JOY #mine: writing

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cocoaberi · 4 years

Text

The Doll Father

She lay naked and bloody on the forest floor. Her eyes so swollen she could barely see anything. Her head pounding and her body pulsing with pain all over. She wanted to scream but could only grunt. Her throat was soar she remembered from being choked nearly to death. He meant to kill her...she was for sure he intended to kill her now.

Earlier this very day he invited her to the woods for a picnic. He proposed to her and put a ring on her finger. He looked up at her triumphantly...then she said "No" and handed him back his ring. She was sorry for refusing him...but she knew they were not meant for each other. She turned around to go home when he snatched her by the hair and slamming her delicate body to to the ground. Jumping on top of her, he punched her in the face three times. At this point her mind and body were in shock, she could not move but she could still feel. She was aware vaguely of being stripped, then angrily assaulted, cursed and choked until he had his fill of her. Spitting on her seemingly lifeless body, he walked away.

Nine months later, her body mostly healed and now big with child, she sat on the porch with her rescuer and friend, peeling potatoes. He looked over at her and smiled. She sensed him looking at her and looked him in his painted eyes and smiled back. Her friend, Ash, was a peculiar thing...a man made out of wood a doll actually. She did not know if he was magical or cursed, she did know that she loved him for saving her and her unborn child.

Ashe's smile widened as his eyes stayed on his lady, Lena's face. She blushed under his gaze, then shyly asked, "What are you thinking about?" He was thinking of making her his wife, of being one with her. He wanted to raise her child as his own. He was thinking of them as a family. Loudly sighing he finally replied, "I was thinking ...what are you cooking me for supper?" She looked a little stunned then laughed and threw a potato at him. "Fine" she said with laughter still in her voice , keep your dirty thoughts to yourself! She tried to stand up from her chair when she felt a sudden pain and water gushing down her inner thighs. She screamed,"Ashe!" but before she could finish his name he had her in his arms running her to the midwife's house. She looked into Ashe's face as he carried her and her unborn child away thru the woods. He was moving at an inhuman speed with inhuman strength but then he was not human. Still she felt no fear in the arms of this living doll. She peacefully closed her eyes as they neared the midwife's home.

Lena was putting the finishing touch on their son's birthday cake. Ashe sat in a chair near the fire...but not too close. He sat quietly thinking of the night he ran his now wife and son to the midwife. He watch his boy being delivered...he shook his head in disbelief of his good fortune to have a beautiful loving wife and wonderful adoring son. He smiled at her as she fussed over the cake. Lena looked up and caught his eyes on her. She smiled back at him. She thought of how wonderful a husband and father he has been. They married soon after their son's birth. The midwife, Sarah, performed the ceremony. They did not have a "traditional" marriage. Lena was so brutally rapped that she was unwilling to have intercourse and Ashe, did not come equip with the tools to perform, but that did not matter they loved each other beyond physical limits and expectations. She knows she should have died naked and alone on that forest floor, yet she was blessed with an abundant life. She never took that for granted.

Gently shaking her head out of deep thoughts she called in their son, "Woodward!" Ashe got up and stood by his wife. Their son walked into the room..."Yeah mom what is it?" he then saw the birthday cake. He hugged and kissed them both then sat at the table ready to eat cake. They laughed and talked about everything and anything well into the wee hours. Ashe marveled at how tiny and precious his son was 20 years ago, now he was a big handsome strapping young man. Ashe taught him much about fighting and hunting. He was a frighteningly fast learner. Ashe was most proud of teaching his son to be respectful and polite toward others and to not pick on the weak. He watched his boy grow over the years with a great sense of pride and honor. He could never have imagined a wooden doll like him, would become a father.

Woodward wanted to make a name for himself and help support his aging parents. Though he was an only child when everyone of his friends had many siblings and he had a father that was mysterious and frightening to others always cloaked and covered in public, the boy had a great childhood.

Two weeks after his birthday he packed his bags and kissed his mom and dad goodbye to find his glory. Their son did make a name for himself. His hunting and fighting skills were unmatched, thanks to his father's lessons. Soon he caught the attention of the King and the eye of the king's daughter. Woodward sent a message and carriage for his parents. A messenger read the letter, " Dear mom and dad...I am getting married and you are invited. I want you to attend the wedding and pack up all your things and move into the palace with me. Your loving son Woodward."

Ashe and Lena arrived at the palace a few days later. They loved their old home but it was falling apart so a new home was just what they needed. They had a guided tour of the palace and met the countless staff and assistants. Finally they met their son and his bride to be. Woodward's eyes searched for his loving parents as they were ushered into the room. He recognizing them immediately...his mother older and more beautiful and plump than ever. His dad tall and threatening with his concealing cloak on. Woodward always understood why he had to wear it ...to hide his body from prying eyes else he and his parents could have been accused of being demons and witches and burned alive by a mob. Woodward was happy he could finally take care of his parents for all the wonderful things they did for him. He proudly lead them to meet his boss the King himself.

Upon entering the King's chambers, the king turns to greet his future son-in-law and parents when his face drains of color...at that instance Lena's face crumples and looks like she will scream. Ashe's face is full of rage. The king approaches Lena and looks at her as if she is a ghost. He stands stunned and stuck to the floor. He mutters over and over ..."I thought you were dead." Ashe no longer able to contain his fury, He did not know this man, but his wife's reaction when she saw his face, spoke clearly that he was the man who had rapped her nearly 30 years ago. Ash in a rage grabs the king and slams him against the wall and pounds his face and chest. Woodward pulls his dad off the king...horrified and confused he yells out, "What is going on?" Lena explains to her son that the King is the man that assaulted her those many years ago. She begins to cry, "I'm so sorry I did not tell you about it, but I wanted to forget about it all. He told me his name but he apparently lied about it to conceal who he really was. I'm so sorry my son". Ashe, stood up beside his son too...sorry my boy. I never met this man but I have always hated him for what he did to your mother. I could not help myself, he deserved to hurt like her those many years ago. Woodward smiled at his parents and looked at the King, "Is this true King?" he asked knowing it was already truth. The king nodded as he spit bloody teeth out of his mouth. The King ordered Woodward and his parents to stay put until he was well enough to talk. Within a month they were called to the court again. The Majesty, ordered them to not speak. He stood up before them and said quietly, "Please let me speak without interruption." He looked at Lena and remembered her before and after his horrific attack on her, "You know Lena I really did love you. Your refusal sent me into an abyss of sorts. I could not see you being with anyone but me. I wanted to kill you and I almost did."He looked at his son Woodward, "My son, I knew who you were the moment I saw you. I did not know who your mother was but I knew you were mine...because you looked just like my older brother before..." The king stopped abruptly and smiled. "Son, you can still marry my daughter she is not a child of my loins...she was adopted and beloved as a daughter but not a daughter. It seems Lena gave birth to my only true heir... you." The King walked slowly over to Ashe as he rubbed his jaw remembering the blows he took from the wooden man. The king laughed, "You know only my elder brother could hit me like that. It's time I bring my big brother back. The king waved his hand and Sarah the midwife stood suddenly before them. Gasps followed her unexpected magical visit and regal appearance. The King looked at Sarah and said sadly, "Sarah bring my brother home, he is the true king after all." Sarah immediately stepped forth on the king's orders and kissed Ashe on the lips so fast no one knew what happen. The cloak that concealed Ashes wooden body from public eyes fell away ....and everyone was shocked to see a wooden doll standing before them who was magically replace with a tall man that looked very much like the king. Sarah took Ashe by the shoulders and forced him to look at her as he tried to make sense of what happened. She shook him a little , " Ashe...your brother wanted the kingdom so much that he bound me to a deal that turned you into a wooden man and erased your past. I watched over you though. You saved Lena and made a family and happy home when you should have had nothing. The King put the crown on Ashe's head and all the people said , long live the king!

I could not sleep and decided to write this...it needs lots of changing I just did not want to loose my thoughts on it. will update it soon.

#story #fairytale #doll #wooden man

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lesmiserabby · 4 years

Text

Tagged by @queen-paladin, thanks for the tag!

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? Red

2. name a food you never eat: Oh there are so many.... But the no bacon and no poutine seem to be horrifying to my fellow Canadians

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm is the one I actually notice so I’m gonna go with that

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Practicing piano

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? I’m assuming this translates to chocolate bar in Canadian and I’m not super big on chocolate... I enjoy the occasional Snickers though.

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? Canada vs someone in Fifa over ten years ago, it rained a lot which was unfortunate because soccer is very much outside. It was fun enough, but I’ve never been super into sports, my dad and sibling loved it though.

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? Not counting humming along to my piano, I said goodnight to my mom.

8. what is your favorite ice cream? cookie dough or butterscotch swirl.

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? Sodastream orange soda

10. do you like your wallet? Very much, it’s BB-8!

11. what is the last thing you ate? spaghettini smothered in parmesan cheese

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? I dunno, probably some bits and pieces of hockey or soccer on tv?

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Very specifically love the cheddar from this local place, absolutely fantastic, 10/10. Also love Smartfood white cheddar and also just regular popcorn with melted butter.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my boyfriend

16. ever been camping? yes, so many times growing up, used to go at least once every summer. I miss it.

17. do you take vitamins? I try to, I have forgotten for the past month or so, they are definitely needed courtesy of my inability to eat a lot of things.

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? Sort of, I try to, I’m a preacher’s kid, but I also get bad insomnia - like went to work on less than an hour of sleep the other day bad - and accidentally sleep instead. It was very pathetic that I couldn’t even get myself out of bed and into the kitchen when we were doing our services as livestreams from home.

19. do you have a tan? No, I kind of did this summer but it’s gone again. Generally I try to cover myself in sunscreen and avoid tanning because I have the complexion of an anemic vampire and I don’t tan, I just burn and then it fades, and I HATE it.

20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? Pizza,

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? Depends on how coordinated I’m feeling, but probably should use my straws more often, regardless of what I’m drinking. I frequently spill water on myself when I try to drink.

22. what color socks do you usually wear? black

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? Occasionally a couple kilometers over by accident, mostly I just walk places since I don’t have my own car. (do have my full G, cars are just too expensive)

24. what terrifies you? So so so many things. Spiders, being abandoned, losing loved ones, bitchy customers at work who don’t know how to read a menu

25. look to your left, what do you see? my wall

26. what chore do you hate most? Currently hating packing and I haven’t even started really beyond taking empty boxes from work oops

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? Ok so 99.9% of the time wen I hear an Australian accent it is Siri on my boyfriend’s phone acting as a GPS and he likes to pretend to fight with Siri and be like “don’t tell me what to do” so I don’t really think anything so much as internally have a deep sigh and kind of laugh to myself. I love him.

28. what’s your favorite soda? Don’t really have one any more, used to be all over Pepsi but I’m trying to have less caffeine because insomnia and hoping cutting out caffeine helps (it hasn’t yet but oh well) so....

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I usually only ever really get fast food when I’m at work and it literally is my workplace so... I’m just already there, inside, behind the counter.

30. what’s your favorite number? A nat 20 on a D20 when playing Dungeons and Dragons.

31. who’s the last person you talked to? Not counting texts to my boyfriend, my mom

32. favorite meat? Chicken and fish, for fish specifically walleye/pickerel (ideally from NWO) and salmon

33. last song you listened to? So Soon by Marianas Trench because that piano part with Josh Ramsay’s vocals is just beautiful

34. last book you read? Currently working through Axiom’s End by Lindsay Ellis and Spine of the Dragon by Kevin J Anderson for physical books and listening to Clash of Kings for audiobook.

35. favorite day of the week? Monday because that is my therapy and piano lesson day, the one day a week I always consistently know what I’m doing, other days are uncertain because work schedule is different every week.

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? I can barely say it normally.

37. how do you like your coffee? Nonexistant, the smell makes me nauseous.

38. favorite pair of shoes? My new work shoes, specifically because they’re new and therefore not falling apart.

39. time you normally get up? Depends on what my work schedule is.

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunset

41. how many blankets on your bed? 5? I think? If I counted right.

42. describe your kitchen plates: white

43. describe your kitchen at the moment: An island, cupboards, a stove, a dishwasher, a fridge, usually the dog is there begging for treats because she knows exactly where they are. I dunno, it’s a kitchen

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? Mike’s Hard Lemonade is always good, I also like mixing Sourpuss with Sprite or ginger ale, I like both the raspberry and green apple.

45. do you play cards? No.

46. what color is your car? My parents have a white car, I am helping my boyfriend pay for his truck, he calls it our truck but it’s really his, the truck is silver

47. can you change a tire? I helped my dad change one once way back in high school, haven’t done it since, definitely don’t remember.

48. your favorite state or province? Gonna sound so Ontario-centric if I say Ontario but yeah.... But not south Ontario, specifically northwest Ontario, which really should be its own province. Manitoba’s nice too. Like I live here now but not big on South Ontario. Niagara is kinda pretty but please just send me back up north.

49. favorite job you’ve had? Honestly my current job. Like there are times that it sucks but I’ve been here over a year and the competition is housekeeping (dead body, deer skull, people getting drunk and puking all over the bathrooms) and that time I got screamed at by an alcoholic woman when I was 17 for “blowing off shifts” that I wasn’t even scheduled for when I had a throat infection and then asking for time off when my grandpa died (literally screamed at me day of) so like... yeah, McDonald’s is actually heavenly in comparison.

Tagging @autie-j and @bb8-boppity-boo

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whetstonefires · 5 years

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While i was rifling thru your fic tag like a half-starved raccoon in a cake tin I found your clone Damian's fic & i'm in LOVE! And like, do u hav anymore meta on that verse? like how do the rest of the fam find out? how do they REACT?! how does Damian? does the heretic clone still exist? Just reading abt tim with a bunch of tiny dami's gave me heart palpitations. Thank you for this gift.

(In reference to this post.)

Why thank you!

It’s vaguely inspired by some meta @cerusee and @audreycritter did about what if Damian was one of several identical clones, but I’ve been fascinated by the character potential suggested by Damian having been cloned since Talia first revealed it, so.

Let’s see.

I don’t think the Heretic still exists, not in the form we saw. This story fragment sort of assumes Talia went less crazy than they made her for the whole Leviathan storyline; she doesn’t regard the clones as sons the way she does Damian (she totally relied on cloning to get him perfectly matched organ replacements, like that spine) but she’s not “sons are born to die in battle” “let’s grow him big inside a WHALE” levels of whacked out.

She hasn’t fully committed to having them compete to be selected as the official Damian #2, either, because she’s still attached to the original, though the growing prospect of that was a lot of the reason they ran for it. One of them might have wound up as the Heretic, in another timeline? But it was a timeline that diverged long before they fled the League.

So they make it to Tim’s emergency van without being intercepted, and get as far as his secure site on city limits, but they have to fight their way through the last leg of that trip and to make it inside the bunker, and it’s supplied for a siege but not really big enough for eight people, even if seven of them are small, and also staying there and being besieged would draw the attention of the Bats, which defeats the whole purpose of not making for the Cave/calling reinforcements.

So he calls his friends for extraction, and they all wind up in Kansas.

Tim puts off contacting the family until the clones have with his guidance sorted out exactly how they want to present themselves.

Unfortunately, the last stage of the ninja battle was showy enough not to be overlooked, so his absence was noticed much sooner than he expected, and regarded as more worrying. On the second day Dick calls Kon to see if he knows where Tim’s gotten to, and Kon fails to lie adequately.

Dick can’t pressure Kon as easily as he can most people because last time he asked Kon for a favor Kon came to the North Pole and died for him.

Which is the kind of thing even Nightwing isn’t veteran enough not to take seriously.

But he still calls his bluff and asks a bunch of questions, and winds up very suspicious and worried, so at this point Tim and the Damians have to hurry up and figure out how to announce the situation or go on the run from the Bats as well as the League, which would be. Not smart.

Tim explains the situation over videochat with the Cave before having the cloneboys join him on the feed; this spares them the worst of the yelling.

Bruce, Dick, and Damian all respond pretty badly. Bruce because he doesn’t like change and he’s reflexively suspicious, and having eight Damians to raise is a justly horrifying notion. Also anti-clone prejudice. It’s unfortunately an established trait of his, though not like. A strong one.

Dick because he’s really defensive of Damian, and perceives this first and foremost as an emotional threat to his bab’s fragile identity.

Damian because he knows exactly how he was raised to react to someone being in a place he wants, and he knows how many opportunities his father’s household policies gave him to take shots at Tim, and they may be six years old but there are seven of them. He is going to die.

All things considered, Damian’s being the most rational here.

He’s wrong though. The clones were raised as disposable ninjas, not princes; they’re perfectly well aware killing him would gain them nothing, and they have very little sense of entitlement.

Bruce and Dick do try to be nice to the kids once it’s finally settled they will be staying at the Manor at least for a bit, because they need to be somewhere safe and Bruce can’t leave them at Clark’s house forever. Even Ma Kent has her limits.

But Bruce blows bewilderingly hot and cold and Dick kind of makes a point of of not being too warm to them, because he’s loyal to his demon brat. Damian starts staying at his place a lot and consequently working with Nightwing instead of Batman.

Bruce has no idea what to do about this or if he even should do something. Damian’s thirteen, right? Teenagers are supposed to rebel??? This is a pretty harmless way to do that?

But he misses him.

This does lead to making more time for the Seven Identical Six-Year-Olds.

Their sense of morality revolves around having made the breakthrough to valuing on another’s lives; they aren’t as opposed to not-murder as Damian was but they’re also a lot harder to coax into seeing things his way because they don’t need as much from him, emotionally.

This makes them ironically less terrifying for Bruce, even if he’s still having trouble actually bonding with them the way he normally does with his kids.

Barbara meanwhile is cautious. She always takes a while to warm up to new people, and she doesn’t have Tim’s history with clones to get her over that speedbump. She tries very hard to be fair, but she’s not really welcoming. She’s Reserving Judgment.

Jason thinks this is the funniest thing ever and goes out of his way to tease Damian about it. Privately he’s super creeped out, but as that wears off he starts getting mad about Bruce and Dick making the kiddos feel unwelcome and at some point does a rant, and after that is vaguely protective in a useless sort of way.

He enjoys being a bad influence. The septuplets also enjoy this. They think he’s funny, too, and he’s easier to communicate with than most people around here. Achieves a fairly high tier on the Favorite Non-Clone Brother list they aren’t exactly keeping.

Cass is super about these kids. She can relate to them even more than to Damian, because they weren’t raised as heirs to anything and don’t have the sneering put-down form of pride going, and also she’s actually around to meet them at the crucial getting-to-know-you stage.

She thinks sparring one-on-seven is an excellent sibling bonding activity. There are assassin-child puppy piles once they’re all worn out. Many photos are taken.

She’s doing much better than Bruce at getting them to extend their nascent sense of empathy beyond one another, without actually making an effort. It’s not like they’re actually much behind their cohort when it comes to social development, they’ve just got murder conditioning flattening their affective empathy. (And are ahead of cohort intellectually, which contributes a lot to the dissonance.) Cass’ accidental therapy involves butterflies.

Tim continues to be around, a lot more than he has been for a while because he’s kind of obligated to see this through. The septuplets trust him, which is more than they do anybody else for a while, so he winds up with a lot of childcare duties.

Since this amounts to ‘showing them where to find soap’ and ‘being in their vicinity’ rather than i.e. brushing their teeth for them and making sure they don’t steal each others’ snacks, he’s fairly okay with this.

Sizdahum sticks especially close, which is fine because he’s not a big talker; he winds up getting a lot of absent lessons on detective work.

Tim gets yelled at for having murder scene photos open in front of him; both of them and Haftum, who happens to be there at the time, roll their eyes a lot throughout.

Tim’s friends also visit the Manor a few times specifically to visit the kids, since they already met them. At one point the Damian clones, Tim, Kon, Wonder Girl Cassie, and due to rumor mill Anita, Cissie, and Greta all have a picnic in a rare afternoon of sunshine on the Manor grounds.

Alfred packed the picnic so it has ludicrously expensive cheese, a fruit salad featuring freshly pitted cherries, and thermoses of milkshakes in the favorite flavors of everyone who got one, even the ones he’s never met before. In response to this bounty Anita threatens to come to visit every time she can get babysitters for her parents.

Then she considers introducing her parents to the clone kids. They’re turning out almost as weird, even if in theory they don’t remember their previous lives. We’ll see how that turns out.

Bruce got used to how all his sons’ friends know his secret identity over a decade ago, it’s…fine.

Steph thinks they’re creepy but she’s far enough from ground zero to laugh about it, especially about their occasional appearances as Tim’s row of ducklings, and also she trusts Cass’ judgment.

Everyone does, to a certain extent; it helps the septuplets’ cause incredibly over the course of the first few weeks. It wins Alfred off the fence about them after about three days, which is quite a coup; even before that he was fast catching up with Tim in the ‘learning the differences between the septuplets’ sweepstakes.

(Cass is the only one who can even semi-reliably tell them all apart if they’re not wearing their nametags, or catch them switching, but learning things like their individual preferences in weaponry or cake is arguably much more important.)

Speaking of names, it’s a difficult issue. Bruce would (with considerable angst and self-doubt) be willing to name them all if asked, and they’d probably be open to it if he offered, but they’re not quite comfortable naming themselves and he’s too insecure and weirded-out to suggest anything else.

The other members of the family are varying degrees of not okay with the numbering system. Steph’s main issue with it is she has trouble remembering them precisely, because she doesn’t speak Farsi and learning seven unfamiliar similar-sounding words at the same time doesn’t play to her strengths.

Damian has a tendency to call them by their numbers in English, which only some of the clones actually mind but it offends the hell out of Bruce.

The necessity of keeping them secret until they have actual public-ready names and a story has been settled on wears on everyone’s nerves a bit. The issue that there exists no story more believable than the actual extremely weird truth stands in the way.

Barbara actually crafts an entire cover about rescuing the products of an illegal cloning operation by people planning an overly complicated ransom scheme for Damian, and Bruce going ‘well dammit they’re my kids too,’ which doesn’t get deployed for a while because:

1) everyone’s still hunting for something a little less weird and

2) they have to review the entire body of legal precedent relating to clones to make sure this won’t put the kids in jeopardy down the line or undermine Bruce’s chances of getting custody somehow.

Meanwhile, Bruce absolutely forbids the clone squad from getting involved in vigilante fighting. Because they are six. They’re not quite on house arrest but they have strict supervision and a curfew. They mostly accept this; they’re used to discipline and they did come here for refuge.

He tries to take away all their live weapons. Because they are six. This fails to stick. It threatens to become a serious bone of contention.

Cass, Tim, and Damian (somewhat unwillingly) wind up having to broker the issue; explaining to Bruce that the kids think he suspects them of plotting murder, and to the kids that Bruce doesn’t think they can be trusted not to hurt themselves with sharp objects is. Fraught. On all sides.

Why does Bruce never get any kids for whom normal responsible parenting guidelines are fully applicable?

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beautifuloutcastinoregon · 5 years

Text

My Suicide Attempt...

Hi my name is Callista, if you are reading...thank you. It means a lot to me I really appreciate that you actually reading my story.

I hope whoever is reading this, helps you out, or feel something than being suicidal, or worse.

There are reasons why I was so suicidal, I was loner, out basket, I just didn’t fit in like the rest of my generations. Maybe because I was light skinned Native, I had eyes like an Asian (well I do have a small percentage of Chinese in me), anyway I was spoiled kid that’s fat, everyone picked on the fat kid which is common but that’s not right, I was a kid that lived in her mind with her thoughts that didn’t help at all than the people that mistreated me...

In the good old days there was no fucks given, I didn’t care what my class thought, all I was worried about was when’s lunch, what to eat, or how to eat, who I was going to eat with. Food was always my best friend, maybe that’s probably why my classmates always picked on me because I was eating nonstop cause I fucking loved it. But tolerance not giving no fucks was wearing off, their words just gotten to me that all I felt was loneness, and sadness all I could do was eat. There were times I stood up for myself against those assholes but those assholes had a army of assholes and for me there’s just me. It has always been me the sad lonely fat kid who had no friends just food.

My story may be a joke some of you (kind of is), some of you can relate who had the same passion for food just like me, some of you have it hard I get that, I’m sorry if my story just offends you guys in anyway, but this is just the beginning of my story.

In my point of experiences at school, teachers loved the poor fuckers like me who always gotten target by the whole class, fuck my first instant emotion in school was obeisance...yep I WAS TEACHER’S PET, I kissed ass like what dogs to sniff other dogs butts. Fuck my life was a joke as a kid, no wonder why I got picked on by everyone else, I ate until the tears were al dried pretending to be.

My afterschool life at that moment , my mom gave me the impression that she loved my little sister more than me (its middle child thing), her priories that weren’t guys and drug, it was my sister, I don’t blame her, I care about my sister even though she caused unforgettable grief, I still love her, but the sad thing I hate her at the same time; I can remember we were sleeping in the living room, then I woke up got scared, I wanted so badly wanted go to my mom’s room and cuddle with her ya know what kids do when they are scared, but my sister was still asleep so I carried her to mom’s room on her bed, then my mom woke up, she yelled at me to sleep somewhere else, same thing with my dad, same scenario we are in the living room, woke up scared, dad coming from upstairs... he came to pick up her up, I asked if I could go sleep in his room, he said no and left me in the dark I remembered those certain memories all to well...

Sometimes I wish I can forget them and move on, maybe God, or whoever wanted me to write my story for a reason, or why I wanted you to read this.

I didn’t try kill myself because I was fat kid that got bullied, that had middle child syndrome. That’s just part of it sadly, I don’t want anyone’s pity, what I meant I don’t want you to feel what I felt. I just want everyone wants after trauma hits you hard, accept it and move on. Every kid gets bullied...every kid gets jealous of their siblings WE GET THAT but some kids like me that get molested at young age doesn’t understand. I remember it the location, his trailer that’s near my Katha's house, my mom’s car at that time, his face wasn’t in the memory just his horrify actions, my confusion to this day, I remembered being in the shower trying wash the thoughts away, it just made it worse, the flash backs just go back that moment, then to those another dark moments, with my cousin she’s older, people said that’s what girls do for another girls teach them stuff, the porn she put on, the toy she uses, her doing it in the bath tub, I felt uncomfortable there. There was more confusion, she’s your cousin so stuff like this it must be normal...

it must be normal...has to be

YOU ARE OKAY!...Are you?

STOP!!!

Why did you do that to me?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why did you choked me?

Why do people like you do this?

Am I going become you?

Am I going hurt people because of you? no no no NO NO NO NO I’M NOTHING LIKE YOU! NOTHING LIKE YOU GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD STOP

“its our little secret, don’t tell anyone.”

All those thoughts taunt me everyday I just want it to end...I just want to die.

It’s my second year of high school, cutting myself, my emo phase, trying get attention, crying, being basic teenager, it was bad day when I decided to make the decision, I had everything it was routine on each attempt shower, wear something comfortable, pills, chaser, maybe a letter, sleep.

First time was a failed. Enjoyed the attention at rehab or whatever it was.

Second time, swallow some pills and went to sleep, woke up disappointed, with upset stomach.

Third time almost succeed but my man at the moment got helped and you get the rest.

I wanted to kill myself cause I was tired living with those thoughts, I was scared, I got lost in those thoughts, and the unanswered questions, feeling anxious, feeling confused, being that fat kid that didn’t get healthy, that never experience feeling like regular kid at the family events, that never reported to the kind police officer, that never put that man in jail, that never told her to stop, never pushed him off me, that never spoke a word.

Couple months ago I was in job corps, almost completed, had group of friends, supportive family, a man who made me the woman who I was happy with...but those thoughts once again appeared again, it gotten worse, it was like disease getting black and going everywhere.

This is my story...please you did nothing wrong, it’s okay to say no, it’s okay to defend yourself, it’s okay to be weak and be hold, it’s okay just get help, just be brave and be strong that’s asking a lot but I’m here, you’re not alone. Don’t do anything reckless, There is a way to get pass this, I don’t know who you are or what you are going thru but I love you so please don’t give what your thoughts want, do what you have to do to move forward, break something, yell, scream, shout at the ocean, cry in front of your friends, family, cat, etc.

Thank you for reading my story.

#why am i like this #its me #hi #it's okay #my story

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vroenis · 3 years

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Turn Up And Play One Game

This is going to require setting a bunch of preconditions so you’re going to have to be quite patient with me. As you read this piece, I want you to try and remember these things. Remembering them may not be a problem for you, perhaps it’s a problem for me as I write and maybe that can be your framing as an introduction. If I was able to post this in a spreadsheet and freeze these points so they were stickied at the top, I would, and it’d be a very me thing to do, but that probably wouldn’t otherwise be conducive to reading linear text intended for an audience and reduce what little readership this is already likely to get to zero so let’s not, and by let’s I mean me.

The things I want you to try and keep in mind are;

I am ASD and for the most part present competently in social situations (carefully worded for reasons to be explained - stay with me).

I am bipolar 2 and present very competently in social situations (the delineation between the two behaviours is important).

I am genderqueer and femme-presenting male.

I took roughly 2 and a half years off from teaching and playing board games, running groups and events etc. due to burnout.

Unfortunately we’re not done yet - I know, but I think it’s all important but I’m not sure, I hope it is.

The reason I worded the qualifier for how my ASD behaviour presents the way I did is that I don’t want to use the reductive term “high functioning”. I haven’t done any reading on it yet, but I feel it really *is* reductive and tempts both the writer and reader to be prescriptive instead of descriptive. I’ve now used more words (and more here, now) but I think they’re needed. Function with Autism is a tricky thing. In a lot of contemporary writing, both by those with Autism and by those researching it, there’s commentary on outsiders making remarks of “oh but you don’t look or seem Autistic” or “you were less Autistic today” and this is some very unhelpful framing and perception of Autism from our experience of living with it. So what I mean by what I wrote is,

it may not be apparent by my behaviour that I’m Autistic, and for the most part, I have learnt the social mores of interacting with others in order for socialising to be more or less frictionless.

It’s something I suspect many ASD folks at various capacities develop over time. It also means that often we spend a lot of extra energy on the labour of socialising. That’s no-one’s fault (for the most part - I’ll get to that hopefully, if I remember), it’s just a fact of our lives. I do use the term Our very carefully, and I apologise for speaking for other ASD people. I should speak only for my own experience. The labour of interaction doesn’t always come a great cost to me, but sometimes it does.

I’ve had my bipolar 2 diagnosis for longer so I’ve been educating myself about it for longer. While I currently have no pharmaceutical treatment for Autism, I’ve been on and off and currently on meds for bipolar for much longer, so I have much more experience managing it. In the past it has been impossible for me to understand anything about my own behaviour but slowly over time I’m beginning to develop skills in identifying components of each condition, what I can do about them and the many... many things I can do to navigate life.

That is a lot of management, as I have no doubt many of you will understand all too well. We do this on top of the rigours of life, in addition to the same concerns everyone carries.

This is why nothing, nothing ever... is easily dismissible as just an “oh well...” “just a bad experience...” “you’ll just have to...” “next time just...” “don’t worry about it, next time...”

I feel like the “just...” isn’t so easy for us, or to be specific, for me.

By the way we’re still in the preamble. Hopefully by the end of this I’ll be able to focus on outcomes but I don’t know how emotional I’m going to get when I plunge into it. I realise what I’m probably doing is priming myself for the text to come and were I to actually edit this, a lot would be cut but I don’t have that luxury and I want all of this to stay in. It’s important to me and hopefully the context will become clear. My last primer is to set out to write about 3 distinct interactions;

The first and bulk of the text - not all bad but prolonged and thus harrowing

The second - unclear but ultimately terrible

The third - joyful

A Pub/Bar Is Not An Appropriate Place To Learn And Then Teach A Board Game

I’m going to begin with some paraphrased commentary I’ve thrown around several times before;

In board games culture, the social norm of over-reliance on Ambassadors is unacceptable.

Now that statement actually applies to a whole myriad of contexts including commercially, but I’ll apply it to how it’s relevant to the account I’m going to describe. I’m writing this journal entry because of a series of interactions that transpired after attending a regular board game night in the city where I live. Twice in a row now, people have seen that I’ve brought games with me and made statements more or less like;

“You look like you’re an expert, can you teach this game?”

And I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t I just say “No” etc. but with some social mores and I’ll get to that.

Here’s the thing;

Yes I brought games... do you think perhaps those are the games I might like to teach?

Thanks for the flattering compliment (I did thank them both times)... but you want me to learn a board game in a loud pub/bar and then teach it in said loud pub/bar with all that teaching entails i.e., shepherding the experience? Because I get that maybe to you, teaching doesn’t mean good Ambassadorship but to me it does and yep, I realise you might not know that (again... we’ll get to that because guess what...)

I’m Autistic, which you don’t know, and that’s important because...

I very gently tried to deploy all the delicate social niceties one does to disarm a potentially hazardous situation for me, rather than panic, because panicking is how things turn Very Bad. Honestly, sometimes it’s not even about things turning Very Bad for you which for the most part is you feel awkward - I mean sure, sucks for you, but for me, the energy cost goes through the roof and will continue to keep hitting for days. Turns out it still does anyway.

I tried to suggest that reading and understanding rules in a loud pub might not be ideal, but the other person was a bit happy-go-lucky and as it happens, I turned up late after work which unfortunately I’m always going to do - so most people had already started games and this person picked up a 2 player game from the common event library. I’m sorry if details are getting scattered, I’m doing my best.

So I attempt to read through the rules and teach it and at a few key points, they ask for clarification which is very natural, so I clarify as best I can and they simply don’t listen and give their own interpretation which in the way they gave it, I also totally understand. I’ll be clear at this point and say in no way was this person rude - their manner was really cordial, polite, and this person was actually wonderful. I’ve no way of knowing their gender identity or sexuality because it never came up and nor did pronouns, but they presented cis and never once showed any sign of having a problem with how I was presenting, so that was really really nice.

But they still didn’t listen to me when I clarified rules and so I just went with it - I dead-set offered minimal resistance because in a social setting, in a loud pub, when I’ve been set-upon to teach a game I don’t know and now there’s an expectation to deploy this experience, I just have to get this thing going and get through it. Already as we play I realise we’re playing it incorrectly and I have to make like it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t - even now I’ll be honest, it happens all the time - so again, let me be clear;

Playing the game incorrectly didn’t and doesn’t matter - not being heard is what matters. And it isn’t important because I’m Autistic, it’s important regardless.

So not only do I think having to learn and then teach a game in a loud pub or bar (or convention, to be honest) is a bad idea, I think specifically a 2 player game is also a bad idea because were a similar situation to occur with more people at the table, there’s more opportunity for consultation and consensus where hopefully other experienced and hobby literate people can review, discuss and contribute.

That whole experience was horrifying for me. It cost me so much energy and it still is... but it wasn’t that other person’s fault.

They didn’t know that I’m Autistic and bipolar and still don’t. I still don’t know how to tell people in a way I’m comfortable with that’s conducive to good socialising and group behaviour going forward thru each interaction. It’s difficult for me because there are so many things I believe should be good behaviours on principle but I realise the whole reason I may believe those things may be entirely due to Autism or bipolar or both, such as...

A Pub Is Not An Appropriate Place To Learn And Then Teach A Board Game

because if it doesn’t come out quite right for you, you can just waive it off, but for me, it ends up being a days-long nightmare of energy-drain and behavioural analysis. I can’t tell you anything about the game we played at all. I don’t understand anything about it because I barely processed the experience. Every unit of energy I had was spent on maintaining my social behaviours, my mechanical actions and verbal skills. I had a few impressions of the game’s mechanisms and was for a fraction of a second tempted to drop some comments on BGG but they would have been so ill-informed and incorrect, I remembered by self-observational skills and realised I shouldn’t do it.

I played one game that night and didn’t know whether I had any energy left for any other activities.

The Second Interaction

While we were packing up, some guy wandered up to our table - this usually happens when you see a game wrapping up so you can be included in a new game which is totally fine. I don’t know what his motivations were, but he literally spoke one or two words like “what’s happening?” and either myself or the other person said that we had just finished and I don’t know if he took one look at my queer-ass self or not but he was gone without another word.

I really don’t know what that was all about. I really hate to talk like the only gay in the village with my hair clipped in and my women’s clothes but sometimes folks sure do treat me like it. Didn’t say “oh hey my game is ready, nice to meet you” or like he knew the other person I’d just wrapped the game up with, mans just took flight and was gone, so now I am already in Autistic cyclic coping mode and now I feel queer rejection too whether it’s real or imagined so I am noping the fuck out and going home.

The Third Interaction Which Actually Happened Second

As I write about what for me were some fairly harrowing experiences, I don’t want to cast a fully negative tone over the event as a whole. Each time I’ve attended this regular event, including this evening specifically, the hosts have visited the table I’ve been at and greeted us. They’ve shown absolutely no reaction to how I’ve visually presented and been warm and welcoming, discussed whatever game we’ve been playing and been full of positivity which I think is wonderful. I don’t want anyone to think that anything that’s transpired between me and anyone else is the result of some kind of endemic cultural problem specific to one cultural space...

I think it’s something endemic of board games culture in general, or even people in general.

It’s going to be easy to read this and say that I have to telegraph to people what my needs are. Also there’ll likely be people with ASD and/or people with mental health concerns who will advocate for changes of behaviour in others as I’m about to start outlining as you probably easily guess and I did promise to make an attempt at outcomes. I agree with everyone to a certain extent except that society doesn’t make it easy for people with mental health challenges to discuss our needs openly. Yes, not at all made any easier by those seeking to alleviate themselves of accountability but let’s take it on good faith that no-one wants to do that.

Outcomes

The whole reason I burnt-out from board games culture and took a break for so long was the overwhelming expectation from people to constantly teach games and keep providing good experiences over and over again, to the point of there being no appreciation for it. When anyone teaches me literally anything - even in my work place - I thank them for it - no matter how small it is. Teaching games isn’t easy, even simple games. Taking the time to read rules, cover ambiguities, ensure you can answer questions, and then shepherd the session for the duration of the game, is a skill - and that’s taking into account how well the rulebook is written. Expecting that to be done in a short amount of time in a loud environment?? For some of us, when we prep games for a game night, or bring a small selection of games to an event, we review the rules to ensure we can run them smoothly, even if we’ve run them a hundred times before...

We do this not to ensure the game functions for the sake of the game, we do it so that the game functions for the sake of the people.

I guess you could argue, then, that learning a game on the night and getting it wrong shouldn’t matter because as long as the people enjoy it, it’s fine... but that’s just it - learning it on the night isn’t enjoyable. Even between the other person and I, it was time-consuming and half-way thru the game, they also picked up at least one of our magical rules errors which we did just play thru and also was fine, but these social frictions between people are going to be far more likely, and far more stressful. The end of the game just happened to coincide with the time I take my fistful of meds so maybe they did just happen to pick up on that but oh well too late by then, I didn’t get to mention what flavours I have in my brain so that might have to be for another night.

I feel as tho loading up that expectation on other people to perform labour without knowing where they’re at and expecting the right of refusal to be amicable is a weird and unfair position to put on people. I put myself in a position where I’m happy to teach the games I brought. I understand what it means to learn and teach a game under the most ideal circumstances... for a person who doesn’t have mental health concerns... so I wouldn’t ask anyone else under any circumstances, ideal or otherwise, to teach a game they didn’t know.

People don’t know I’m ASD and bipolar. I don’t know what they are, either, but I’m in the unique position of having mental health concerns so I’m constantly considering where others are at and what they might need.

I think that’s what I’m asking for. I’m not at all angry at or feeling hurt by my board game play-companion that evening, they were lovely and I’d happily play a game with them again, but I don’t know how I’d go about explaining this situation to them because educating others in detail in a short amount of time is extremely difficult, then and there when you’re in the situation. I realise people who don’t have these or similar concerns tend to “brush off” similar situations but I don’t brush off anything. Nothing ever gets brushed off. Everything costs something and that cost is monumental. It costs energy and it costs days.

I don’t think I need people to go and read pages and pages about Autism and bipolar disorder, I think I just need people to listen a bit more. I need people to be appreciative of the labour of others, specifically of when they put effort into instructive and demonstrative action i.e. teaching board games., and understand this specific example in this context; a game that no-one knows, especially with strangers. If you want to pony-up for a new board game, don’t put it on someone else. You want to make that call, it’s your call, you do it.

#2021 #chrono #mental health #bipolar #ASD #Autism #board games #boardgames #ambassadorship #board game culture

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