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ohtobeleah · 1 year

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#PL1 with Hangman. From the Angst list possibly after an accident of some sort? 19 - “Please don’t leave.”

Warnings: Car accident! Jake Seresin x F!reader. Death of reader insert. Sad boi hour.

Haunted // Jake Seresin

“He still up there?” Rooster asked as he got out of the Bronco, removing his aviators as he strolled over to where Phoenix had been perched up against her own car. She’d called Rooster not too long ago, worried about Jake.

“Yeah–” Phoenix replied solemnly, never once taking her eyes off where Jake sat by your grave. “He just sits there, all day. Doesn't say anything, doesn't cry, doesn't sleep or eat or–” Before Phoenix could finish her sentence, Bradley interrupted, giving her the answer to all her questions in two simple but heavy words.

“He's grieving–” Bradley and Phoenix stood by the cars they parked in the curbside spots of the carpark at the bottom of the Lakeview memorial cemetery. From the carpark they could see Jake clear as day, sitting by the fresh tombstone that had just been put in after a few months on backorder. Jake needed it to be perfect, he spared no expense in making sure it was exactly the way you would have wanted it. Not that you ever really specified what you wanted in a tombstone, but Jake knew. He knew you wouldn't have wanted anything extravagant or in your face. He knew you wouldn't want some sappy quote that wasn't what best reflected you while you were living. No.

Jake knew you would want something simple and elegant. So that's what you got. As he sat by your grave picking at the blade of grass that looked too long, absentmindedly twirling his wedding band around on his left ring finger, Jake thought about how it should have been him. It should have been him driving that night, not you. But it was you and Jake didn't understand why it had to be you. He didn't understand why he had to live the rest of his life with you not by his side.

“He needs help, Rooster–more than we can give him.” Phoenix sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest, she'd been on Hangman watch for the better half of the day. “I really think he needs to talk to someone, a grief counselor or someone.” Deep down Bradley agreed, but he knew talking to a counselor was the last thing he wanted to do when his mother died.

“He passed his psych eval before returning to work.” Rooster replied as he watched Jake stand from his spot next to your grave, picking up the wilted flowers he’d replaced with new ones as he did so. “He lost his wife Nix, you don't just bounce back from that.” Rooster placed his hand into the front pockets of his jeans, shrugging as he did so with a prolonged exhale. “I don't think you bounce back from that ever, you just learn to exist.” Bradley paused for a moment, he wasn't sure if he should say what he wanted to next. “Pretty sure that's what my mum did.”

Jake was exhausted. Emotionally, physically, hell even spiritually. He was burnt out and running on empty. As he looked down at your name carved into the stone, Y/n Seresin, he swore he heard your laugh in the wind that blew around him. His mother would say it was but Jake didn't believe any God could be so cruel to take you away from him. He needed you, why the fuck did they take you away from him.

“Happy Birthday beautiful, I gotta go, but I'll uh–I'll be back soon.” Jake sighed as he tapped the top of your tombstone with his knuckles, something he always did whenever he came to see you and always did just as he was leaving. “I love you.” He missed hearing a response to that, he’d give anything just to hear he was loved by you one final time.

“He’s coming.” Phoenix pushed off her car. “You wanna take him or should I?” She asked as she turned to Rooster, taking her eyes off Jake for two seconds. But that was enough time for his grief to overcome his exhausted body. With each step Jake took away from you he grew weaker and weaker. Jake fell to his knees as he lost view of the world around him, Rooster didn't say a single word as he pushed off Phoenix’s car and booked it over to his best friend.

“Hey man, you good?” Rooster cried out as he jogged up the small incline towards where Jake kneeled on the ground, noticing how Jake had never looked more broken. “Fuck” Bradley sighed to himself as he made his way over. Knowing that the events of the day Jake lost you would be playing through his mind on a loop ever since you left so unexpectedly.

Six months earlier ~ The Hard Deck, October 31st.

“Okay Mr Salt—“ You beamed as you rubbed your husbands back gently in small circular motions. “Let’s get you home yeah?” You had been celebrating at the Hard Deck, Halloween was and always had been one of your favorite times of the year. September 1st always brought about the decorations you meticulously decorated the house in each and every year. September 1st to October 31st saw the Seresin household dressed to the nines with fall themed decorations and filled with pumpkins spiced scented candles. Did Jake like halloween as much as you did? No–but he went along with it every year just to see you smile. He loved you too much to stop you from fishing out the old, nearly decrepit decoration box that had ‘Seasonal House Attire’ scribbled on one of the flaps out from the attic.

He did make it a note to remind you how much of a dork you were though. But to Jake Seresin, calling his wife a huge Dork was just another loving term of endearment.

“Yeah—“ Jake grinned through a small hiccup. “Yeah let’s get me home, lead the way Mrs Pepper.” You and Jake had gone dressed as Salt & Pepper shakers to the annual Hard Deck costume party. “I'll drive.”

“Oh, no!” You chucked as Jake slung his arm around your shoulders. “You are in no condition to drive–” The original plan had been one or two drinks each, you'd have a big meal, water between drinks and you'd both be able to scissors paper rock to see who ended up driving home. But as the night progressed—Jake had fallen down the rabbit hole of drink for drink and shot for shot with none other than Bradley Bradshaw. “I’ll drive, here—give me the keys.”

Without so much as a second of hesitation, Jake handed you the keys after he’d fished them out from his back pocket. In Jake’s mind that moment plays out in slow motion, a decision that sealed your very fate. When Jake altered the course of what should have been his untimely demise by drinking a little more than he should have, he unknowingly unleashed death’s fatal trajectory on you, his loving and beautiful wife.

When Jake thought back to this moment? He swears he dangles his keys above your open and awaiting hand for at least five agonising seconds. Then, the very moment that confirmed your destiny strikes.

Jake dropped the set of car keys into your palm.

“Thank you.” You cooed, reaching up to place a quick peck against your husband’s cheek. “Looks like you get to be the passenger problem once again.”

“Ah, I prefer passenger princess, thank you—“ Jake snickered as you walked over towards the front doors of the Hard Deck. “Good night everyone!” Jake turned momentarily. “We’re heading off—“

“Seeya guys!” Fanboy replied first as he waved in his Larry the Lobster costume.

“Oh but the night is still so young?” Rooster sighed as he realised he was losing his drinking buddy. “Y/n, come on just one more round?” Bradley didn’t know it at the time but this would be the last time he ever saw you alive. None of the Daggers, Jake's friends, his found family and colleagues knew it. None of them knew that your doomsday clock had run out.

“We’ve got a flight booked for Texas tomorrow, gotta be up early, Rooster.” You explained although he already knew. “We gotta get going.”

“Alright alright—“ Rooster groaned childishly, understanding that he’d just have to go with the flow. “Go on, get outta here.”

“I’ll text the group just before we take off!” Jake added as he walked with you outside into the chill of the fall night. Not knowing that in just a few short minutes his entire life would be turned upside down.

***~***~***~***~***~

“Okay okay but what if it’s not you?” Jake sighed and his fingers intertwined with yours over the centre console. “Like it could very well be me?”

“Uh, with your genetics my dear I find that incredibly hard to believe.” You and Jake had been trying to start a family for a while now. Nothing seemed to be working, all the tracking, all the phases, all the old wives tail tricks and tips you’d both been abiding by god's law. None of it seemed to be working. “When we get back from your mum's place we should probably see a fertility specialist, just to be sure we’re doing everything we can.”

“Yeah—Alright.” Jake turned to look at you as he smiled softly and brought the palm of your hand up to his lips. “You’re always full of good ideas aren’t you.”

“Maybe we should have gone as brains and brawn instead of salt and pepper?” You chuckled softly as you turned your attention back to the road, you’d only briefly turned your head away from the road ahead for a few seconds to look at Jake.

“Babe!” Jake gasped as he let go of your hand, allowing you to grip the steering wheel with both hands. “Deer! Fuck!” Jake shouted as you over-corrected to miss the deer that had run across the road in the dead of night—it must have been spooked by your headlights.

“Jake!” You screamed as you spun out, you tried to fix your mistake by slamming your foot on the break but if anything that just made the situation worse. “Oh my god oh my god!!” You could hear the sound of your tires screeching before the car left the opposite side of the road you were meant to be on and began to roll down the embankment beside the road. Not once, not twice, not three times—the car you and your husband had been travelling home in had rolled four separate times. Glass shattered under the pressure as aluminium twisted and crumbled in something that mimicked a paper ball. Until eventually everything went quiet as you landed upside down.

Unconscious and bleeding. Your knees had been shoved up under the steering wheel column—slicing down to the bone. The seatbelt that had meant to protect you crushed your ribs and punctured a lung. The airbag that had deployed to stop you from hitting your face against the steering wheel had broken your nose and jaw on impact. Everything hurt, everything—

“Jake—I—“

Until it didn’t.

“I’m here.” Jake was lucky or unlucky enough to remain conscious the entire accident until the car came to a halt upside down. “We’re okay—“ Battered, bloodied and bruised Jake gasped as he tried to make sense of what the fuck had just happened.

“Baby?” Jake called out softly, Turning his head to see that you just hung there, limp and bleeding in a mess of the deployed airbag. “Baby you with me?” Again, you didn’t respond and Jake could feel himself panicking. “Oh god please don’t leave me—“ He begged. “Don’t take her away from me!” He cried out as he struggled to unclip his seatbelt. Falling to the roof of the car that was now the floor in a heap as he hissed and groaned from the glass that tore shreds into his arms face. “Fuck—Y/n, I’m here I’m here baby you’re okay aren’t you honey?” Again Jake was met with no response as he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. “Oh god, oh god this is NOT happening.” In an attempt to free you, Jake tried to reach up and unclip your seatbelt.

But it didn’t budge—not in the slightest bit.

“Oh god baby come on, you’re alright? Wake up for me honey come on? COME ON!?” But you just weren’t answering. You weren’t breathing. Jake tried to guide the hair out of the bloodstream that dripped down your forehead to your cheek but the gravity of being trapped upside down just made it fall straight back. “I love you so much, please don’t leave.”

“Baby, there’s help coming—“ Jake begged you to stay, he begged you not to leave him, he tried his best to get out of that damn car but you were stuck in there good. So Jake just waited. He waited and waited and held your hand as he sobered up and remembered he was the one who gave you the keys, knowing that if he had been driving it would have been him. “You gotta hang in there just a little longer so the medics can get you out.”

But you were already gone.

“Jake!” Bradley shouted as he raced down the embankment he’d gotten a taxi with Bob and begged the guy to pull over as they went past red and blue flashing lights in what felt like snow motion—noticing the sandy blonde aviators crumbled car down in the ditch. “Jake! Oh my god are you alright?” Bradley couldn’t believe his eyes when he crouched down to look in the car that still remained upside down. The medics hadn’t even finished grabbing their gear from the ambulance yet, that’s just how fast Rooster had run.

“I’m good, I’m fine—it’s Y/n, she’s trapped man, I can't get her out.” Jake shook his head as he sniffled hard, still holding your hand.

Bradley knew just by the first glance that you were gone. There was not a more sobering sight.

“Okay, okay we’re gonna get her outta there.” He placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Gotta get you out first though.”

“I’m not leaving my wife in this car Bradshaw—“ Jake hissed. “I can’t.”

“I really don’t think the medics are gonna give you a choice.”

***~***~***~***~***~**~**

“I miss her so much—“ Jake cried out as Bradley made it over to where Jake kneeled on the grass. “So much Rooster.”

“I know you do.” Bradley still to this day had no words that could bring Jake comfort or bring you back, but he was there for his best friend no matter what. “I got you man, I got you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Leah’s 4K Celebration 🎊

#Leah’s 4K celebration 🎊#jake hangman x reader #jake hangman imagine #jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x f!reader #jake seresin #jake seresin fic #jake seresin imagine

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heartsoji · 1 year

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ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh can I have nishinoya x reader who gets kinda insecure when she sees how pretty kiyoko is and nishinoya is like “what no your perfect :(“

nishinoya with an s/o who gets insecure around kiyoko

a/n: friendly reminder not to compare urself with others bcs ur perfect just the way u r!!

shimizu kiyoko, class 3-2, manager of the karasuno boys' volleyball team. she had become quite the idol among the 2nd years, whether she was aware of it or not. she had dark, silky hair, pretty eyes, an oddly sexy mole on her chin, and was dignified and elegant. she unknowingly set an example for what karasuno's girls should be like.

enter you, a 2nd year in class 5 who's sole redeeming trait was your academic intelligence. you weren't like her. your hair was dry. your eyes were empty. you were clumsy and insecure. you were never going to be someone like shimizu kiyoko, a natural beauty.

somehow, despite this, you had managed to snag yourself a boyfriend. a loving, energetic, cute, athletic, hardworking (at the things he actually likes), boyfriend. nishinoya yu, class 2-3, a sweet ball of energy and the sole libero for the karasuno boys' volleyball team. you'd been dating for around 4 months now, and honestly, aside from his lack of height and slight academic stupidity, (neither of those bothered you in the slightest) he was the most perfect boyfriend. told you he loved you everyday. bought you flowers. spent time with you. cared about you. checked in on you. said good morning everyday. basically, he was a walking green flag.

but despite him telling you that you're the most beautiful person in the world and he loves you every single day of the week without fail, you were still insecure in the relationship. you knew from stalking collecting background info on him pre-relationship that he was, like every other boy in the school, obsessed with shimizu kiyoko.

and to be honest, you didn't blame him at all. why wouldn't he be? she was the most beautiful girl you'd ever laid eyes on.

however, now, he no longer told kiyoko that she was beautiful, nor did he tell her that he wanted to "be with her forever." he now just treated her like any other girl.

so, you knew that he loved you. you knew that he was doing everything he could to make sure you knew that. you felt guilty, to say the least. you just felt so.. bad. you felt bad that he was doing so much for you and all you could do was think about a pretty older girl. you felt bad that he gave you so much love and affection and told you how beautiful you were all the time just for you to look in the mirror and compare yourself to his previous crush. to be honest, you knew that you wouldn't be so conscious and aware of kiyoko if noya didn't use to like her. you felt like such a pick-me and a total selfish brat who didn't appreciate others' efforts. still, no amount of words or feelings could stop you from staring in both admiration and envy at shimizu kiyoko whenever she walked by.

one night, you and noya were hanging out. he was studying at your insistence, and you were chilling on your phone beside him.

at some point, you were on insta and saw an aesthetic post of a picnic that she went on with her underclassman co-manager. it showed the beautiful set-up and a few pics of her posing modestly yet prettily. she wasn't trying to make a super hot model face/pose, just sitting there smiling. yet somehow, she just looked so elegant and pretty, and you couldn't help but start to tear up.

you felt so stupid. why were you crying? well, you knew why. because you were comparing yourself to her, and the fact that she was so far away just left you feeling so sad and incompetent.

you tried to hide your tears, but unfortunately, noya noticed almost immediately. he dropped everything he was doing and immediately cupped your face and wiped your tears.

"hey.. what's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"it's nothing.. sorry." you mumbled, averting your eyes.

"hey."

you looked at him.

he held you firmly. "nothing that ever makes you feel sad will ever be 'nothing' to me, and it shouldn't be to you, either." he said firmly.

he stroked your face lovingly. "now.. mind telling me why there are tears littering my girl's pretty face?"

for whatever reason, that just made you cry more. something about the way he loved you and made you feel special made you feel wonderful, but also guilty. what you were crying about was so insignificant, yet he was taking it so seriously. still, you mumbled and blubbered about how you were comparing yourself to kiyoko and how you felt so guilty about how much he loved you when you could never be as good to him as he was to you. you went on and on and on on a sort of rant as he just listened patiently, not saying a word.

when you were done, he embraced you gently and held you to his chest. as he stroked your back, he whispered gently into your ear, "you are the most beautiful girl in the world. and while i won't deny that i used to be obsessed with kiyoko-san, im no longer because i have a gorgeous girlfriend now in my life that i wouldn't trade for the world. and i know that me saying so makes you feel guilty, but let me just say this: you are so good to me. us two express love in different ways, and i happen to be more upfront about it. you express love to me by bringing me food when i forget mine, or helping me study when i put it off. sure, they're different, but that doesn't mean that you aren't so good to me. and honestly, even if you didn't do any of those things and more, just having you by my side would be more than enough."

his words made you cry harder, and you both squeezed each other tightly. you knew that this issue would persist for a while, but that was ok. yes, kiyoko will always be drop-dead gorgeous. yes, noya will always make you feel like the most special girl in the world. yes, you may continue to feel incompetent for a while. however, there is nothing (and i mean nothing) that he won't help you go through. after all, he loves you, and you are far less incompetent than you think you are.

#the ending is lowkey kinda bad #ive had this sitting in my inbox for forever but i finally got around to it #sorry for how late this was #see you suun ⭐︎#nishinoya x reader #nishinoya fluff #nishinoya drabble #nishinoya imagine #nishinoya comfort #nishinoya x you

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footprintsinthesxnd · 1 year

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Forever Was A Lie

Pairings: Bob Floyd x female reader Synopsis: Bob Floyd had promised you forever but forever wasn’t meant to be. Warnings: character death, car accident, death of a spouse, bereavement, wedding day jitters Thank you @callsign-phoenix for proofreading for me.

I wrote this fic in honour of Lewis Pullman’s birthday and yes I know it’s sad but we are going with it. Happy Birthday Lewis.

Bob Floyd had promised to love you forever. From the moment you first told each other your true feelings he’d promised you forever and Bob wasn’t a man to break promises. You remembered telling him that forever was a long time and yet he’d still promised it. But even forever wouldn’t have been enough time with a man as perfect as Bob. He was the light of your life, the man you wanted to wake up to every morning and go to sleep next to every night. But life doesn’t make promises of forever, life takes regardless of how good or worthy a person is. And life took Bob from you in one of the harshest ways. On your wedding day.

The day had started perfectly, just like any other day except you had stayed at Natasha’s house. She’d been so excited for a girl's sleepover that when you asked if you could stay the night before your wedding she’d practically bounced off the walls. You’d ordered takeout and spent the evening watching romcoms and painting each other's nails.

The morning of your wedding had been a busy one, Penny and Amelia as well as your mother and sister had arrived to help you get ready. Bob had texted you that morning telling you that he loved you and couldn’t wait to call you Mrs Floyd which only caused your heart to swell even more with the love you had for him. By the time the others were awake, you had already had a shower and were sipping your coffee when everyone congregated in Natasha's tiny living room. The make-up artist arrived soon after, along with the hairstylist and you spent the morning feeling thoroughly pampered. You barely recognised yourself in the mirror, watching how your curled hair cascaded over your shoulder, your eyes highlighted by the simple but elegant eyeshadow and your lips set in a wide smile. You thought you looked beautiful, which was something you very rarely thought about yourself but Bob reminded you often. Watching your mother tear up as you turned to face the girls, your sister clapping her hands excitedly with Amelia, Penny looked at you adoringly and Natasha just looked at you, a proud smile etched on her face as she leaned forward to hug you.

“Thank you for everything, Nat,” you whispered, trying not to cry.

“No, thank you,” she whispered back, “you make him so happy. I don’t know what he’d do without you.” You leaned back, smiling at the thought of your blond haired, spectacle-wearing fiancé, soon-to-be husband you reminded yourself as you drove to the venue. Well, it wasn’t really a venue. You and Bob had wanted something simple with just a few friends and family so you’d chosen to get married on the beach, with the Hard Deck hosting the after-party. Bob had been relieved when you suggested it, he’d always hated being the centre of attention, even if it was his own wedding. But at their favourite bar surrounded by people he loved, Bob couldn’t have thought of anything better.

The drive to the bar was short but you still managed to feel like a nervous wreck before you reached the beach. Your mother held your hand tightly, trying to stop herself from crying as she told you how proud she was of you. When you reached the Hard Deck parking lot you could see all the white and cream wedding decorations lining the outside of the bar. Violet-coloured flowers lined the front steps and around the windows matching your bridesmaid dresses. You could see Bob’s best man, Bradley, and the other groomsmen lining the side of the bar all chatting and watching as you got out of the car.

Bradley ran over to you, greeting you with a hug and a kiss.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, giving you one of his signature Bradshaw smiles.

“Thank you,” you grinned up at him. “Where’s Bob?”

“He forgot something. He said it was too important for one of us to get so he’s gone back to your place. He shouldn’t be long and he told me to tell you he loves you and he’s sorry for the delay.” You laughed, watching as Bradley air-quoted what your fiancé had told him.

“Thanks, Bradley.”

“No worries. You can wait inside if you want. As soon as Bob’s back I’ll call for you.”

You nodded, letting Bradley lead you and your bridesmaids into the Hard Deck where you took a seat in one of the booths. Your family and the others sat near the bar but Natasha took a seat next to you. She took your hand into hers, squeezing it reassuringly.

“You ok?” She asked, giving you a sympathetic look. She could tell that you were nervous, despite your love for Bob you still couldn’t help the butterflies dancing in your stomach.

“Yeah, just nervous.”

She gave you another smile. “It’s gonna be ok. You both love each other so much and everyone can see it. Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon.”

‘Soon’ turned into an hour, then another and another. You began pacing, worriedly chewing at your freshly painted fingernails. Bradley kept coming in to check on you, he’d called and texted Bob multiple times but with no answer.

“I’m going to go find him. It’s probably car trouble, try not to worry,” Bradley gave you a small, tight-lipped smile and you just nodded nervously.

“Ok, thank you, Bradley.”

You followed him outside, desperate to get out of the stuffy bar, you felt claustrophobic and the ever-growing nervousness wasn’t helping. As you stepped outside into the bright summer sunshine you were met by the sounds of sirens and a police car pulling up in front of the Hard Deck, blue lights flashing frantically. Two officers emerged from the vehicle, both taking their hats off and approaching you slowly, solemn looks on both their faces.

“Mrs Floyd?” The first one asked you, causing you to laugh lightly.

“Not yet Officer, although I was meant to become Mrs Floyd about three hours ago,” you tried to make light of the situation but deep down you already knew it was bad news before the officers had even told you.

“Could we maybe talk inside, it’s about your fiancé, Bob,” the second officer added.

“Is he ok?” You asked, stepping forward almost hopefully.

“I really think we should…”

“Please, just tell me. Please.” You begged, feeling the tears begin to burn your eyes and trickle down your perfect makeup. The officers exchanged a look before turning back to you. Bradley had come to stand behind you, resting his hand on your back to support you. Your mother and the other bridesmaids had filtered out of the bar behind you but you didn’t notice, you couldn’t take your eyes off of the officers.

“Mrs Floyd, I’m afraid to tell you that your fiancé was in a car accident, he was taken to the hospital but unfortunately died upon arrival. I’m sincerely sorry for your loss.” The officer continued talking but you couldn’t hear what they were saying, the world was spinning so quickly and you felt Bradley’s arm wrap tightly around you as you collapsed to the ground. You began mumbling and Bradley took your face in his hands, cupping your cheeks and trying to get you to look at him.

“He promised… Bradley, he promised…” you let out a broken sob, collapsing into Bradley’s arms. “He promised me forever.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Taglist: @callsign-phoenix @imjess-themess @averyhotchner @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @alexxavicry @a-reader-and-a-writer @topguncortez @maggiescarborough @callsignmaverick5 @ssprayberrythings @smoothdogsgirl @xoxabs88xox @luckyladycreator2 @abaker74 @elenavampire21 @classyunknownlover @okiegirl24 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @sunlightmurdock @airedale17 @callmemana @shadowolf993 @t-nd-rfoot @topguncultleader @flyboyjake @wkndwlff

#robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd fanfiction #robert bob floyd #robert floyd x reader #top gun maverick #top gun bob #lewis pullman #happy birthday Lewis pullman

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quackstallion · 2 years

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Pt 2. C!Quackity x reader

Tw : called names?, Sexualizing, use of alcohol

Quackity wrapped his hand around mine and we got in the casino. The casino was so fabulous and elegant! It was a dark casino with different colored led lights. It literally more than 50+ games there! ఌ︎

Like this ↓

We got into the VIP and his friends

Stared me like I was a model.

'Hi beautiful lady~ who's are u?'

Dream (anonymous for now) said

My jaw dropped because I got offended and I replied

' the one's that can get you kicked the FUCK out of here'

He looked at me with a bitchy style and turned around to speak to his friend `Georgenotfound`(anonymous for now)

Quackity grabbed my hand aggressively and said

'dont speak to them like that NEVER AGAIN'

I felt sadness and betrayal inside me. What The Fuck.

We sat besides the rude ass man named dream. We talked for a while and he's a total dick. The amount of girls names... I kinda feel bad for them. He asked me to meet him sometime to his place but quackity got in and said

' she'll never be near there. Stop fucking around dream'

' gosh- Quackity how come you because so serious? You were drunk the fuck up some minutes before....'

Quackity hold me close and wrapped an arm around me making dream jealous? Damn he wanted me

They played for some hours betting some mid amounts of money till dream came up and said

' would you bet y/n for a night? '

Quackity was on the edge of calling the security till he became calm and said

' would never do that. You can't keep your fucking dick around other's girls... Jeez'

' She's a trap though quackity you can't deny it. She's perfect from the front and the back *he winks* if you know what I mean*

He started smirking while telling this...

Quackity called security and kicked dream out while having George following him.

I sat there in deep silence... Eyes open from the man's words...

I. Fucking. Hate. My. Body. Why do men react like this?

I sat there in sadness and shock

I ran the fuck out of there and gone to my house. It was a tiring walk but I finally after half an hour came back to my house.

I opened a bottle of wine and started drinking it like there was no tomorrow...

After I finish most of the bottle I gone to a corner of our house and started crying. The amount of times that happened to me. I can't take it anymore. It creeps me the fuck out.

I started banging my head a little bit on the wall till I had a really bad and heavy headache.

I heard the door being unlocked

'yeah if you see her please tell her to come back.. it drives me insane not knowing were she is...'

The talk became more and more blurry till he found me in the corner passed out

' Oh my gosh I fucking found her. '

He shakes me but I was too sore to respond

He looks around and find the mostly empty bottle.

He holds me tight and kisses me.

' gosh I didn't even knew you were that sad sorry...'

He places me in the bed making me sleep.

He looked at me all the night... Holding me in his arms

TO BE CONTINUED ...

#romance #roleplay #reading #fiction #fic rec #fantasy #fanfic #books & libraries #books #quackity smut #quackity x reader #quackity #quackityhq

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dopepoisonivyoncrack · 10 months

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Making the sketches for young Jugram portrait with rabbits and lilies, listening to soft piano pieces on top of it, it gives me so much feels I almost cry.... he is such a sad character. Look at those big empty eyes of a boy that never smiled, the soft yet cold expression

Also rabbits make such perfect symbolic animals for him, like...just think about it. Also white lilies

I think of how rabbits are easily scared animals, and soft but carrying around a similar expression to him... think of the strange beauty of white rabbits with red eyes...of his insecurity and loneliness, of resignation to the idea of being worthless, of his need to feel wanted and needed. the way his eyes almost tear up when made to feel needed, useful. Of how he blooms after that, of how hard he works to hone himself, of his devotion and loyalty...elegant, royal beauty with cold stare, like a winter day with pure white snow, and icy lake, hiding so much sadness and tragedy underneath its calm surface

#somebody hug him jeezus christ please #this is just a thumbnail btw #gods I should stop the softpiano music its making it worse #ivy shitpost

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dangan-kagura · 7 months

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Rant: I really hate the 2B jokes surrounding characters like Kirumi. Not just her, but also characters like Celestia, Mukuro, Keebo, and perhaps even Peko and Maki. I’m not gonna get into too much detail as to why I don’t like Nier, but let’s just say I failed to see the big deal about that game. Not only am I annoyed with its popularity, but I’m also annoyed with the memes surrounding it. The meme being that you take a character from a different series and dress them up as 2B. It’s become so obnoxious for me that I have no reason to take interest in that game because 2B just looks like a freak and her popularity makes my blood boil.

The irony of it all, is that not only am I not into the gothic subculture, but this meme seems to have an effect on characters who just so happen to be my favorite characters. These are just some examples, Aigis (Persona 3) Iroha (Samurai Shodown) Neptune (Neptunia) possibly Hikage (Senran Kagura) and Angel (King of Fighters). The list goes on and on but I’ll leave it with just these. The point is, I love these characters and yet, Nier is super overrated, so this meme is ruining these characters and how I feel about them, and I don’t want the same thing to happen with the Danganronpa cast.

I’m gonna be honest, when I first met Kirumi, 2B wasn’t what came to mind because I didn’t want to project that meme onto her. Instead, the Touhou maid Sakuya Izayoi is what came to mind. When I thought about it at the time, it felt like Kirumi had all the same qualities as Sakuya. I never saw Kirumi as this gothic, obedient, robot girl with a fucking blindfold, I saw Kirumi for her beauty, elegance, perfection, knowledge, and kindness. Perfect and Elegant Maid is Sakuya’s title in PoFV, so I wanted to think that Kirumi was on par with how perfect Sakuya is and the two of them would make a great match. The sad part about it is that I’ve never met anyone in the Danganronpa fandom who is also a Touhou fan, not to mention, compared to how underrated Kirumi is, Sakuya is a fan favorite in the Touhou fandom. In my experience, I’ve never seen anyone in the Touhou fandom pull this meme off on Sakuya, and frankly, I don’t want to see her like that.

I’m probably a hypocrite for having Kirumi as a favorite Danganronpa character despite the fact that I don’t like Nier. Is it wrong for me to like Kirumi? Should I let her go? No! I literally cried when I saw Kirumi die, and I’ll cry again if I watch her die again. But why do I feel that way? Why would I cry over her death if someone is gonna dress her up as a character I hate from a series I’m not into? Do I think Kirumi deserves better and that she shouldn’t be treated so badly? Kirumi is a comfort character for me because I love her kindness and perfection. If I let her go, people are gonna forget about her due to her death and I don’t want to forget about her. Crazy thing is, watching Kirumi die would be a way to counterbalance this meme, but is that really a good way to deal with it?

If you’ve read my blog on why I don’t like Ibuki, I wrote that I’m always anxious around her because I hate her music. Funny thing is, it’s the same thing with Kirumi. Every time I try to search for fanart or other things in the Danganronpa fandom involving Kirumi, I get the same anxious feeling I get when Ibuki is involved, because in Kirumi’s case, I don’t want to see anything 2B related because that’s just gonna ruin how I feel about her.

Likewise, I love Kirumi, and yet I hate 2B. Isn’t it ironic? If I love Kirumi despite what fans are doing to her, would it be okay for me to actually like Ibuki despite the fact that I hate her music? If you’ve been to my AO3, is it wrong for me to write fanfics about Kirumi, or even Ibuki? I remember a year and a half ago when I first got into the series’ fandom, I had a nightmare about Kirumi getting dressed as you know who. In the nightmare, I got down on my knees with my hands on my head and kept repeating to myself, “No no no! It’s not true! It’s not true!” Because I didn’t want anyone in the fandom to treat her like that.

As for the other characters I mentioned in the beginning,

Celestia I like since we have a few things in common, such as eating issues and getting upset when people provoke us. And as I said, I’m not big on gothic themes, but I still like her. Is that wrong?

I like Mukuro because I think her freckles are cool, and I even like her when she’s dressed as Junko.

I like Keebo because his “That’s robophobic” quote is just hilarious. If it were up to me, I’d headcanon Keebo as someone who gets offended by the Nier meme if someone made him look like 2B.

I like Peko because of how badass she is, and would love it if there was an action beat ‘em up game that had Peko playable.

I like Maki because she reminded me of Senran Kagura character Ryoubi, appearance wise I mean. Given that I like Senran Kagura, don’t say this wouldn’t be different from Kirumi looking like you know who because I don’t like Nier.

I really don’t want this meme to ruin my life or ruin my views on my favorite Danganronpa characters. You’ll probably argue that it’s no different from the Rantaro avocado meme, but I personally think Kirumi and the other characters shouldn’t be treated like this. The 2B look-a-like meme is just overrated at this point. If I do see it happen again, it might very well break my heart.

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kirumi tojo #rant #new danganronpa v3 #killing harmony #2b #nier

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sarangkstars · 2 years

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Short Kdramas/Drama Special/Web Drama

Part 1

From time to time I go through the well-known "drama hangover". Even if I try to balance my backlog, don't start too many dramas with diversified stories at the same time, even if I choose only one favorite to follow... it doesn't matter, the routine will run over all my plans and I end up not having the courage or the will to watch anything. Usually when this kind of thing happens, I look for short dramas, with plots that I don't need to think too much, just watch, smile, fall in love and that's it, move on. So I remembered to list these short dramas I've seen and give my recommendations.

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

Splash Splash Love

Splash Splash Love, the 2015 minidrama with only 2 episodes made me so immensely happy. The story is about a high school student Jang Dan-bi (Kim Seul Gi). Running away from a maths test she finds herself in a playground. Unconsciously, she goes into a puddle and is suddenly transported to the Joseon period. There she meets King Lee-do (Yoon Doo-joon). My review here.

After the Rain

Kim Kang Woo is my soft spot and this 2 episode drama special seemed to call to me. And good thing too because this show is excellent. This is a comedic human drama about Bong Gil who is forty years old, single and tired of taking care of his 90 year old father. My review here.

The Reason I'm Getting Married

Two very good reasons to check out this drama - Song Jun Ho and Hong Jong Hyun. 😍 The story is about a woman (Park Hee Bon) who is about to marry her long-time boyfriend and meets a friend from the past who has a crush on her. My review here.

Came to me and Became a Star

This story is about Gang Seok (Kim Ji Suk) and Ha Jin (Jung So Min). Both are struggling to stay afloat in life when they meet and fall in love. Review here.

Review Notebook of My Embarrassing Days

Another KBS Drama Special starring Jeon So-min and Park Sung-hoon. Do Do-Hye (Jeon So-Min) is a mathematics teacher and has an overly honest personality, which makes her face embarrassing moments. She keeps a diary where she writes down all these embarrassing moments and reflects on herself. My review here.

Handmade Love

Because this web drama has Lee Soo Hyuk as the lead actor, I had to go see what it was all about. This is about Woven (Lee Soo Hyuk) who is a god who sinned by touching the coat of a goddess and his punishment is to live on Earth and make clothes that cure humans of their sadness.

I think Lee Soo Hyuk is perfect for the role of a god with that perfect elegance and ethereal looks. And I want to thank whoever thought he should wear high collars and fluffy pullovers. ❤️

The first thing that struck me was the luxurious appearance of the small shop. The clothes were beautiful and the furniture looked wonderful and magical.

I liked the stories of the humans he had to heal as they seemed solid and with good messages but I also felt they were rushed, maybe because it was only 8 episodes. So the concept was very cute but the execution was not very efficient.

The Universe's Star

"The Universe's Star" is written and directed by Kim Ji Hyun, known for "Splash Splash Love". That, and having my beloved Suho/Kim Jun Myeon in the cast made me want to watch this drama. This is the love story between a talented singer-songwriter Woo Joo (Kim Jun Myeon) and Byul (Ji Woo), a 19-year-old student who turned into a grim reaper after dying in an accident.

This show has stayed in my heart forever because although it only has 6 half hour episodes, it has more depth than some regular length dramas. Each episode had the ability to make me think and feel, and themes such as the meaning of life, self-worth or appreciating the present came up regularly in my thoughts.

While I can't say that the acting of the main actors was excellent I really enjoyed the OTP arc. The ending is quite emotional and moving and although it left me crying it also left my heart full.

I also have to mention the friendship between Byul and Gakshi (ghost). Though they should be "enemies" a friendship is formed and it is a pleasure to see them together.

Queen of the Ring

It's a cute and romantic mini-series of only 6 half-hour episodes. It's perfect for those who don't have time to devote to an entire series of 16 episodes or more and the content is light and heartfully.

Story is about an ugly girl, Nan Hee (Kim Seul Gi) who one day receives a ring that holds a family secret. Due to the magic ring, she dates Se Gun (Ahn Hyo Seop) who is a handsome guy but has a cold-blooded personality and struggles to see her as his ideal type.

I have a crush on Kim Seul Gi and I thought she gave Nan Hee a spunky personality even though she's so insecure about her physical appearance. And, as always, the emotional moments of this drama were delivered by her in a touching way.

I didn't feel very good about the premise of this drama and the idea of the "ugly girl" liking a boy who was only interested in physical appearances was not winning me over. However, the drama showed me that it had a message behind the original idea that left me quite satisfied with the end result.

Romance Full of Life

It's about In-Sung (Yoon Si Yoon) who is preparing for the exam to become a police officer for 4 years. He fails the exam 8 times, but he still has a positive personality. He then applies for the high paying part-time job which is titled "Full Life Experience". And then his life changes.

Of the Three Colors of Fantasies trilogy, this was the weakest for me. What I liked: I loved Yoon Si Yoon in this drama. I thought he looked adorable as a geek with those chrome glasses and that ruffled hair.

I liked that he turned into some sort of superhero and stopped being a weakling but I hated some of his actions and the way it changed him for the worse.

The OTP was okay.

Two Lights: Relumino

For three years Seo In-Soo (Park Hyung-sik) has been facing partial blindness. Looking for a new leisure activity, he joins a photography club for people with visual limitations. That's when he meets Ahn Soo-Young (Han Ji-min) - a young woman who is part of the group of students.

The story shows the daily struggles each has to go through due to their physical limitations, as well as the bond that is developed between them as they get to know each other better.

This short film is to make people aware of Samsung's Relumino device so the running time of the film is only 30 minutes, so the story is developed quickly but manages to be sweet, sensitive and beautiful.

And I liked the message of hope, inner strength and independence in the midst of darkness.

#splash splash love #after the rain #the reason i'm getting married #came to me and became a star #review notebook of my embarrassing days #handmade love #the universe's star #queen of the ring #romance full of life #two lights relumino #short kdramas #kbs drama special #web drama

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traumatisedswiftie · 2 years

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Midnights

Lavender Haze

Oh my god! I love the beat of this song! it seems like its going to be popular for mash-ups. There are some pretty deep lyrics, which I had seen from reviews, but in this they seemed like small snippets of a cry for privacy -- about the line about wife and 1950s, which I’m assuming is in response to the constant engagement rumours

Maroon

Okay, both Maroon and Lavender Haze had amazing beats and I’m obsessed. They're both so powerful. Seriously, we waited a number of years for Taylor to swear, and now we've got the F-word twice in the bridge! Growth!

Anti-Hero

Okay, so I watched the music video before I listened to the album, and I only actually watched it, taking some notice of the lyrics, but only now focussing on them. I had read that Anti-Hero was Taylor’s most critical song, and yeah, I see that, but it also seems like a cry for help. This album really fits with my late night depression and self-critism. Taylor, you may have written the best song for my depression.

Snow On The Beach (feat. Lana Del Ray)

Okay, so I’ve never actually heard Lana’s music, so I wasn't expecting this song to be anything. Oh my god, the casually cursing is so soft that I now hate that I don’t swear. This song is so soft and I just want to dance to it.

You’re On Your Own, Kid

Seriously loving the beats on this album. I actually don’t know what to say about this song, its just sooooo good. I love it. Ive been lonely as hell the past few months so

Midnight Rain

I absolutely love the production on this song. I don’t even know what to write, I’m just vibing.

Question...?

Okay, the opening verse is kinda similar to the Keep Driving (which is one of my favourite Harry Styles songs). Seriously, the casual swearing is so elegant. This chorus is kinda making me sad -- I’m sad okay, my love-life is tragic, and I wish I could relate.

Vigilante Sh*t

She did not hold back on this song! I can imagine this will be amazing performed live -- like a slower version of I Did Something Bad? I saw someone say this is like no body, no crime 2.0 and that is seriously accurate, except not killing the guy. This seriously sounds perfect for a Bond song.

Bejeweled

So we cheered up quite quickly! Again, loving these beats! Another one I imagine will be amazing on tour. I love the vibes of this song. Quite frankly, this song seems like the most cheerful on the album so far.

Labyrinth

This song is so comforting, it feels like the aftermath of Anti-Hero of trying to say its okay and it gets better, you just have to try. I love this song so much. I literally had a shiver along my spine at the first ‘I'm falling in love again’. I love it so much.

It’s 23:41 okay, I haven’t got that many words so I might just be saying ‘I love it’ but I currently only comprehend how amazing these songs are and I can't explain why, just that they are!

Karma

Okay, I was looking forward to Karma and its instantly exceeded my expectations!! The cat line 😂. The vibes!!!

Sweet Nothing

Not gonna lie, I was really looking forward to this song purely because we know it was Taylor and ‘William Bowery’ and they have a pretty good track record of song writing together 😂. It’s so soft and beautiful! They wrote a song that wasn't a sad breakup song that I’m still gonna cry to. I really wish I could relate to this

Mastermind

This is like the opposite of Anti-Hero 😂. Okay, no, we got to the sad bridge. But seriously, it's so upbeat and vibey! I love it!

The Great War

I don't even know what to write about this song, I’m just vibing, but the lyrics are pretty sad. It seems like a sequel to Dancing With Our Hands Tied, except less anxious and fearful, just reminiscing about the anxiety.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky

This song is sad. I was expecting it to be cheery and ‘I love you more than the whole sky’ but its sad in the ‘I loved you more than the whole sky’. Okay, but I’m guessing this leads into Could’ve Should’ve Would’ve, because it is repeated so beautifully over nd over towards the end...

Paris

Oh my god! I was not expecting the start of this song at all! This is a chaotic story but incredible vibes!!! Oh my god this song is amazing!

High Infidelity

Okay this whole album has amazing vibes and sad stories or sad vibes and happy lyrics. Im gonna make a guess and say that April 29th is gonna become another Swiftie day (added to the calendar alongside July 9).

Glitch

I DID NOT NEED CALLING OUT ON THE FIRST LINE! Okay, but the vibes are incredible and I wanna dance along on tour.

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Okay, this is not what I was expecting after the teaser in Bigger Than The Sky...but it’s so much better! I’m so tired I seriously can't write anything other than saying I love this song so much.

It’s 00:13! I am seriously tired and my opinions are now seriously repeated.

Dear Reader

I love this opening! This song seems like it’s advice to a stranger, like a note in a library book, as if giving advice to a younger sibling or cousin...or in the form of a song to millions of people.

Back to Lavender Haze

Okay, I seriously love this album. Every song is incredible and there is not a single skip. I will write more later, but I am tired and I need sleep before I head into London tomorrow - because why not?

Anyway, goodnight,

Bex

💚💛💜❤️💙🖤💖🤍🤎💜

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leelei1980 · 1 year

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Beauty and the Freak

Part Five- True feelings

Eddie

I sat in my van for a minute collecting my thoughts before getting out and walking up to the front door. I knocked. Please be Mrs. Carver, Please be Mrs.Carver-

The door opened and there stood Jason. Instantly a sneer came to his lips." What are you doing here Freak, you've got a lot of nerve-"

" Jason who's here?" Mrs Carver walks up to the door and smiles." Oh Hi Eddie!"

"You know Munson?"

" Honestly Jason, he comes over three times a week after school, well I guess you don't know, your at practice. Come on in Eddie. Does Veronica know your coming?"

I flashed her my biggest smile," No actually, I was just driving by and decided to drop in. I wanted to tell her how happy my uncle was when I brought home my test the other day."

" That's great! She is in her music room, I will bring you down."

" See you around Jason." I smirked, he flipped me off.

I followed Mrs. Carver down the Hallway and then down into the basement. I could a violin playing louder and louder as I walked down the stairs . Now I don't know anything about the violin or classical music but whatever she was playing sounded beautiful, almost a little sexy? I turned and whispered to her mom, " She's really good.I would have thought it was some kind of recording."

Her mom smiled. " She is very talented, gets that from her dad. They used to play this song as a duet, him on his acoustic guitar and her on violin. It was wonderful to hear them play together."

"I'm so sorry, I bet you miss it."

She had a sad smile on her face. " I do. This song is called Por Una Cabeza. One on my favorites." She pat my shoulder "I'm going to head up, Enjoy."

I smiled at her and then stood at the foot of the stairs in amazement as Veronica continued to play. The looked so elegant and poised as she played.She was so involved with her playing that she had no idea that I was even there until I clapped and whistled when she was finished.

I watched her jump about a foot off the ground." Jesus Christ Eddie! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Wowza Sweetheart, that was amazing!"

" How long have you been watching me?"

" Your mom and I came down I'm guessing halfway through the song. Por Una Cabeza? Sounds kind of sexy for classical."

" It's one of my favorites." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

" You played it with your dad? I must have sounded awesome with a guitar. "

" it wasn't exactly Metal but it was awesome."

I looked around the room at all of the instruments propped up and hung up on the walls. " You play all of these?"

She shrugged " Most of them"

I walked over to the drum kit."You play this?"

" I'm not amazing at it but I like to play for fun. It took a lot of crying and convincing to get my mom to drag that drum kit to Indiana from California."

" Will you play something for me?"

Veronica set down her violin and went over to take a seat behind the drum kit. " Prepare to be underwhelmed. It's not my best instrument." She picked up the drumsticks that were sitting on top of the snare drum. "It's not metal but it is rock. You've got to remember, I mostly played with my dad."

I watched in awe as she played the intro to Led Zeppelin's Rock and Roll.It was that moment that I knew why I had tried to spy on her last night, why I was so jealous of Harrington. I was totally falling for her.I knew when we first met that there was a connection,and now that I have realized it it almost makes me sad. Damn you Harrington for being so perfect. I am sure that he won her over last night with his good looks and winning personality. I felt so guilty about spying last night that I gave my popcorn to Dustin and Mike and left about halfway through the movie. They probably made out the whole time after I left, I'm just glad I wasn't there to see it.

She must have seen something change in my face because she stopped playing ."What's wrong Ed's?"

" Nothing, just thinking."

" Did it hurt?" She smirked and played the joke rimshot on the drums.

I laughed." The ba dum tis on the drums was a nice touch."

She stood up and bowed." I aim to please. So what's up? I'm glad you stopped over, I haven't given you any shit for a couple days so I was going through withdrawals."

" How can you go from elegant and eloquent one minute then trucker mouth the next."

" I don't know. It only happens when I am around you."she smiled.

" I'm glad." I sat down on the couch in the back of the room and she sat beside me." How was the date?"

Veronica raised her eyebrows. " I see, you came to get the juicy details? Why didn't you go to Steve?"

I shrugged " I figured I would get a more accurate retelling without all the, 'Well,let me start off by saying my hair was absolutely perfect-"

She laughed out loud." His hair was pretty perfect." She sighed." The date was nice. It was nice to get all dolled up and to be told by a dude that he thinks you look pretty . I wore a dress and makeup Eddie. I looked pretty fancy."

" I thought girls liked it when you called them a smartass?"

She smiled " I do, but it is also nice to be treated like a lady too. Hand on the small of the back, arm around my shoulders. It makes you feel all mushy inside."

" Harrington made you feel mushy? Gross."

She rolled her eyes at me." He was so cute and such a gentleman-"

" Did he put the moves on you? I hear he can be handsy."

" He put his arm around me at the movies but was very respectful."

" Did he kiss you?"

" Getting a little personal there Munson."

" You don't have to tell me."

" Do you really want to know?" She asked surprised.

" Well he's always talking about how smooth he is with the ladies."

" He did kiss me," She blushed, my heart sank." It was very nice. And then we had sex in the back of his car-"

" What the fuck? " I bounced up off the couch and paced." On the first date?"

She threw her head back and laughed.

"Eddie Munson, do you really think I am that easy?"

I stopped and sat back down" You didn't have sex?"

She threw a small pillow at me. " No! He kissed my goodnight then walked me to my door. It was a very nice kiss, at least compared to my first kiss. Steve knows what he is doing."

" What was your first kiss like?"

She covered her face ." It was horrible. My best friend Jake back in California and I made a pact, that if neither one of us had been kissed by the time we turned fourteen we would kiss each other. On his Fourteenth birthday we went down in his basement to 'play a game' and we kissed. Well he crammed his tongue down my throat was more like it, neither of us knew what we were doing we just went for it." She laughed. " We also made a pact that is neither one of us had sex by the time we were seventeen we would do that too."

I laughed, " But then you moved away right?"

" Yes, but he came to visit me on my birthday." She raised her eyebrows."We stole some liquor from my grandparents cabinet while my mom and grandparents went to a show-"

" They left you alone with a 17 year old boy?" I said in disbelief

" I had known him since I was 3. They didn't think anything would happen. So while they were gone we got drunk because we knew it was going to be weird and awkward, and then we had sex and it was weird and awkward and that was it."

I stared at her." I never in a million years would have thought that that would be your story."

"Did you think that I was a virgin and Steve Harrington was going to steal my precious virtue?"

" I honestly didn't know."

" No, I lost my virginity in a pink canopy bed with Strawberry Shortcake blankets on it at my grandparents house. It lasted for approximately 2 minutes and after I was like, that is what all the hype is about?"

" Oh no, sweetheart, if you were left wondering what all the hype was about then someone wasn't doing their job."

She blushed." I just figured because it was the first time.."

" Well what about the next time?"

" There was no next time."

" No next time? That's unfortunate."

" The opportunity never arose again." She shrugged.

" Until last night. You know Steve would have banged you ,in a heartbeat."

" The kiss was nice , don't get me wrong, and don't say anything to him Eddie or so help me god-"

" I won't say anything, I swear to god!"

" But there was no spark there. Do you know what I mean? He's a great guy, there just wasn't a spark."

Hearing her say that was music to my ears.

She squinted at me", I guess when you know, you just know."

" Tell me about it. " I sat there for a minute staring at her, looking from her eyes to her lips and back again, trying to decide if it was the right time to make my move.

" Eddie?" She asked leaning forward trying to get my attention. I took that opportunity as a sign, I lightly took her face in my hands and pulled her lips to mine. They were warm and soft and full and she made a little surprised noise when we came together but didn't pull away. In fact she moved closer, and put her arms around my neck. I kissed her a little harder, her lips parted and our tongues met. I slowly pulled her up on my lap and we kissed until we had to pull away for air. She stared into my eyes stunned at what had just happened. My heart was pounding in my chest. She leaned in again and kissed my lips gently.

When she pulled away she looked deep into my eyes again." Spark?"

I smiled " Sparks." I ran my thumb over her lips," I knew they would be soft."

She smiled and kissed my lips again.

" It's that ass kissing, it sloughs the dead skin right off remember?"

I laughed. " You're a smartass, a beautiful smartass."

She pretended to faint." I do declare,was that a compliment Mr. Munson?"

" Yes Princess." I smiled.

"Soooo, what does this mean now? Are we friends? Or are we 'Friendly Friends?'"

"Or you could be my girlfriend, and I could be your main man." I smirked

" If I was your girlfriend could I kiss you whenever I wanted?"

I leaned in close." Sweetheart you could call me at 3 in the morning and I would drive over and sneak through your window and kiss you."

" Mmm that sounds nice." She looked down at my lips, " I think that this could be a problem. Now I am going to want to kiss you all the time."

" That doesn't sound like a problem to me." I ran my finger down her cheek."There's just one thing I've got to know-."

" You're the better kisser, hands down. Is that what you were wondering?"

" You read my mind."

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flaringfoxsoul03 · 1 year

Note

Hi! Are you still open for match up Obey me? I want to take a request BUT! ofc if you don't mind and not tired ( don't forget to rest well dear! ) Okay! I'll start by introducing myself, Pronouns are She/They/Them Pansexual and someone who has an ISFP personality. I personally am someone who is neutral. Energetic and Calm at the same time and I have experience (let's just say I'm a free psychologist for my friends) and knowledge as a psychologist. I don't really like being in crowded and noisy crowds but I can handle it and because of demands that make me HAVE to be in it so... I'm getting used to it, I might be the type of person who easily reconciles with the past and easily adapts to new environments, I'm not the type of person who likes to find trouble or get stuck in it so I tend to stay away from it but if it has anything to do with it with someone I know/care about then I should AT LEAST try to straighten that out if it doesn't work? Well, let's say I have to throw my hands, I'm an understanding and nosy person regardless of the situation :'∆ I want to make people feel better! So that's why I'm learning psychologist thingy :D I'm a hard worker but the moment I decide to take a break, no one can stop me! (maybe) If I'm angry, I'll end up sad somehow, but I refuse to cry! nobody's perfect and neither am I. I have a problem being a bit rude to someone I consider bad who I don't even know very well, I easily belittle other people too... I feel bad now

my view on love? huh, love in a platonic view I think is an incomparable love for the person you care about whoever it is for you! but my view of love romantically? is like a small part of your heart that is finally filled and a feeling that you have to take care of, I like to do whatever my partner likes and the type of person who pays attention to them, ideal type? with anyone who makes me fall in love :) but i would melt if they had a gentleman attitude and giving me a headpat or any physical affection? Please they're too perfect to me! And I want to treat my lover whatever makes them comfortable, and for obey me character? Hmm I don't think I'm suit to solomon and Simeon, I love them platonicly and I think they love me Platonicly back ( give me a brothers like them >:'/ oh yeah! I almost forgot i can sign language so I will do some sign language to my Lovers whether they understand or not (funny if they don't they won't know that I said 'I'm yours' in sign language)

I like all kinds of music and reading history from all corners of the world that I find interesting, I'm not picky about food. i eat everything :v i also like to collect memorable photos ( even the embarrassing ones ) i love and hate animals at the same time, my style of dress? fashionable and tomboyish, i like pearls it's beautiful and stunning I also have a pearl necklace that my sister gave me and I always wear it (I was very moved when she gave it)

Physical characteristics? 5'0 tall, Tan skin, Shoulder length brown hair, mole above my eyebrow and hazel eyes, and 1 heart ( lol)

and that's all! Have a nice day or Sweet dream dear, take a good rest a talented writer must have a good rest! 👋 bye~

You are just as cute as a button and as elegant as the kitsune my darling! And I have a match made in hell for you~.

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I match you with…

Lucifer!

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So you asked for a brother like Solomon and Simeon and to be honest, it’s literally just Lucifer all over. Like this has to be a perfect match for you my darling. You both fit the vibes so well together and basically do the same thing day in and out. Why not combine those powers together to become the ultimate powerhouse couple?

Let’s admit it: Lucifer and you did NOT get along at the beginning. This demon is literally the embodiment of Pride and you’re a stubborn donkey when it comes to putting your nose into other people’s businesses, especially when they drag you into it. Nothing was ever just a conversation, it was a whole ass event every time the two of you were in a room and talking. Satan turned it into a reality show for himself due to the aggressive amounts of drama that resulted in it just by you two existing. After the “Attic Incident” something changed between you two, and ultimately leads you down to your relationship with him after what Satan would call it, “boorish mating ritual of heightened aggression”

Enjoys that he’s not the one having to always corral his brothers around and manage them, he’s got backup on that front and even better? Pacts definitely help the going, less so when you don’t specify enough and pull him into the shenanigans. But Lucifer isn’t always making you manage his brothers, he’s personally gotta have some responsibility over them when you’re barely managing them effectively due to the constant wear and tear of your energy. But he sees you help his brothers in easy he could never let his pride down long enough to do in all his years of living with them. And to that, he’s eternally grateful for you helping his brothers become the best demon versions they can be for demons

Despite being alive for so long, Lucifer barely has any time for personally recreational activities such as expanding his languages. I mean, he definitely smart enough to figure out most human languages given that he must know more than enough for Lord Diavolo and for his dreams to come to full fruition, but he definitely didn’t know American Sign Language (ASL) at first. He might’ve seen it during his time picking out exchange student resumes, but it’s canon that he just kind of gave up and showed Lord Diavolo the first one he picked up after a gust of wind blew all the stacks of papers everywhere. My guess is that he didn’t really see your ASL certification on your paper so he absolutely doesn’t realize this for a good long while. When you do start signing in front of him, he’s confused but not like “Oh woah!” it’s more of a “what the hell” kind of light bulb moment. He eventually learns ASL but for awhile you’re able to get away with telling him super embarrassing things you’d never say out loud. But will he let you know once he’s fluent enough to know what you’re signing to him? Maybe he’ll let it go on for a little while longer, he certainly enjoys the praise you give him~

Doesn’t always love that you try to capture everything in pictures. He’s literally had wrestling matches with you over pictures he deemed too embarrassing to ever exist but due to your insistence, occasionally an awkward pic here and there makes it through inspections. In the end of it all, Lucifer loves that you have memories in all your photo galleries, even the ones he wishes weren’t taken, they remind him that you’re there with him and not anywhere else

Definitely likes that he’s bigger than you and you’re such a small human being. I feel like he’s about 6 foot something, but definitely not on the short side compared to the normal human (as normal as you can get) exchange student. Finds it very easy to pick you up and take you wherever he wishes. Very effective way to get you to shut up if your having arguments, especially the ones that get him more wound up than usual~

Will get you matching earrings to help make your pearl necklace have that much more meaning every time you look at it. He thinks all things gifted by siblings should be treasured and he definitely doesn’t want that pearl necklace to go to waste. It should be shown off every chance you get, he might get just a tad bit excited and prideful when he gets a chance to show his lovely partner off

===================

And the follow ups are:

Satan

And

Barbatos

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And that’s all folks!

~Fox

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#obey me shall we date #om lucifer #obey me lucifer #obey me shall we date lucifer #lucifer #obey me satan #obey me shall we date satan #satan #om satan #obey me barbatos #obey me shall we date barbatos #om barbatos #barbatos

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candiedfain · 2 years

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DQ11 Red Velvet Theme Songs Explanations part 3

This is for my loves Jasper and Mia (SPOILERS)

Jasper: Psycho

Lyric(s) I associate with Jasper: "we fight like it's our last but then we get along" (his friendship/rivalry with Hendrik), "hey now we'll be ok" (aka my favorite part lol I just think of Act 3 when Hendrik fights Jasper and they reconcile and he's finally with him and ahh I'm getting emotional, I played that part of the game yesterday and I'm still sensitive)

Other reasons for association: I think Psycho goes perfectly with Jasper because it can be associated with him alone or with his relationship with Hendrik. For the standalone aspect, the song could be a reflection of Jasper's decision of turning to the dark side; he literally says he found "beauty in the blackness", which is literally the most emo thing I've heard but also it goes well with the song. As for the relationship aspect, Hendrik and Jasper's relationship is much like a sad lovers' one. Whether platonic or not, they have a somewhat unstable relationship, but at the end they resolve everything and it's all sweet and stuff. The instrumental is also elegant and regal sounding, just like him. I love this edgy man

Mia: Cookie Jar

Lyric(s) I associate with Mia: "frustrated these days, problems piled up, feeling quite tired" (her and Erik slaving away for the Vikings and her not having any of it), "put your hand in the cookie jar, you can go anywhere" (her being a bit too naive for her own good, but still believing that she and Erik can leave their miserable lives behind), "being selfish as I want, cuteness is justice" (her being a greedy little thing but hOW CAN YOU STAY MAD AT HER SHE'S SO ADORABLE)

Other reasons for association: I think this song is probably the most like Mia of all the songs I relate to her. It's just so cute and kinda playful like her omg I love her so much I wish she was my little sister. Anyway, I think the lyrics go well with her character since the song gives me a sorta "curiosity killed the cat" kind of vibe, which I think is a theme very much present in Mia. She wants lots of things and they're mostly pretty innocent wishes for her and Erik, but then she gets corrupted and turns evil because her greed grows. It's kinda like the music video too, cause the girls happily eat and bake sweets but then the sweets turn out to be filled with weird things. Omg wait that actually goes so perfect with Mia. Anyway, I love Mia and Erik and their sibling dynamic so much I might cry

#dq11 #dq11 jasper #dq11 mia #red velvet crossover ig #hmm which group is next..?#stay tuned #sorry this is late lol

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lavenderfairycow · 10 months

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this in an unfinished, autobiographical novella that i want feedback on! please let me know what you think of it thus far.

she is hurting. she is pained. she is wanting a reality she doesn't hide from.

she is fifteen, and she is confused. she is young but feels like life is moving way too fast. she is diseased, and she can't ever get rid of it. she was born with a metabolic disorder that can't be cured. she feels like she is never enough. she tells herself that she is hard to love, and that no one deserves her. but she is so young, how could she know something as deep as eternity?

she is melody. her friends call her mel. she hated it at first, but now she sees it as an intimate second name. her story starts when she is only in seventh grade, twelve years old. she isn't quite so sad yet. she is happy (enough). she is content, as content as one can be when they are confused on who they are at all. she dances with a girl named evelyn. the same name that her own sister bears. melody feels a connection to evelyn, like elastic taffy charged with electric power. she hurts with the sorrow that comes in doubt. evelyn is so beautiful in melody's eyes. evelyn is light and natural and so unlike anyone she had ever met. she was like an angel to melody, but she didn't know why she thought of evelyn in this way. she had put evelyn on the pedestal of "the beloved." melody learned of this concept in her second semester of college english the coming fall.

evelyn and melody exchanged phone numbers. they never called one another, only sent messages that melody read the wrong way. evelyn smelled of sweet apricots and melody was addicted to her alluring nature. evelyn was 3 years her senior. melody saw evelyn every day and they grew close. spring came soon and melody was scared that after that year, nothing would stay the same. she was correct, but didn't know the half of it yet. there was an evening that melody cherished most, when she and evelyn shared a pair of white earbuds and listened to music together. since her own sister had evelyn's same name, she mentioned the confusion and said that she should just find a nickname for her sister.

"call me evie," she said.

melody smiled like a child at a circus. people had told her that it was wrong to feel things she couldn't describe all at once. for a woman. for a girl. for a very pretty girl. melody can't listen to k-pop now without crying. on this eve, their shoulders touched. alone in a room that was once filled with people. in solace, melody looked into evelyn's eyes that shined with a dark elegance, the color of seafoam after dark. she saw something in her eyes that she couldn't describe. she saw acceptance.

late spring, melody is thirteen now and evelyn is on the brink of sixteen. the year was ending. melody spent every night in the shower sliding down into a pool of her own tears blended into steamy water from the spout. the ache in her heart was unknown to her until then. it was a foreign virus that had spread from her heart and went on to encapsulate her whole self.

she could sense an ending. evelyn could too. melody didn't breathe that last performance, until she let it all out when she saw evelyn walk into the room with mascara tears stained on her perfect face of stage makeup. and melody didn't tell evelyn how she felt then because even she didn't know what it was. that night, she went home to her room and looked around at her walls of memorabilia from that year she had spent by evelyn's side. she ripped them all down and threw them in a box under the bed. she brushed her gnawed-at nails over the metal from her first competition. she remembered how evelyn laid down with her on the grass there, before they went inside. she told her that it would all be alright. their hands were so close then, she missed that. but she didn't know why. she thought it was normal to miss someone before they were even really gone, she thought it normal to imagine her next to another like that and she didn't think twice. because she thought she would marry a man who could somehow heal all of her traumas and stop all of her bleeding. she thought it normal to go to sleep and dream of evelyn, and wake up to almost feel her presence.

she cried all that summer but no one knew. she couldn't have anyone assuming anything. she saw evelyn only in between moments and for very few classes. until the summer ballet intensive, that changed everything. melody was beginning eighth grade, and evelyn was to be a high school junior that fall. it changed when everyone was sitting in a circle, a feelings circle, and evelyn came out to everyone as bisexual. something inside melody's heart beated a little faster when she realized that bisexuality was even a possibility of what was going on inside of her. later that morning, melody and her peers were to write a positive message on papers titled with every person's name. melody's paper had a scribbly message of blue ink to the right of the center. evelyn said she didn't just write about how melody could do three pirouettes in her pointe shoes. and she was right.

she wrote:

you have grown so much and so fast. i am so proud of you! thank you for being who you are.

and right then, reading her words on the crinkly sheet of other messages from other friends, melody felt what she saw in evelyn's eyes that night in the spring all those months before. she began to understand why she felt this enormous burden but also this strange light. the light that flickered every time she was around evelyn, or dreamed of evelyn, or mentioned evelyn in conversation. and the light made the burden not hurt quite so much.

melody didn't see evelyn much until september. in september, melody dislocated her knee again, just as she had the day after she received the message from evelyn in august. but now, melody was lying on the gray couch with her leg propped up on a patterned pillow. she waited for the pain to reside but it didn't. that was when evelyn came in from one of her classes. she asked if melody was okay, and if she needed anything. if melody's head had been clear, she would have taken this logically and she would have maybe not had so much pain relieved from her leg. but she smiled and said that she was going to be fine. that night in the car by herself, she cried all the tears she couldn't let out before. she scratched her wrists until they bled. she told herself that she was a horrible person. she realized that she was romantically interested in evelyn. she thudded her head against the car-seat headrest and waited to feel pain but she was on so many painkillers for her injury that she couldn't feel anything, and that angered her. the next morning, she woke up in a cold sweat and didn't know how she'd ever face evelyn again. and maybe it was because she didn't know what she could say without sounding like an idiot, but maybe it was also the fear of facing herself.

the following months, melody and evelyn were preparing for a ballet called "into the wardrobe." they were in all the same scenes and melody quickly got over her fear of talking to evelyn, and resorted to talking to her all the time. where evelyn would sit, so would she. melody found a way to worm her way into evelyn's life again, and she complimented her every day. one evening in october, evelyn wore bright orange eyeshadow and melody felt so attracted to her right then that her blood flowed to places that felt so peculiar when evelyn was near, and melody blurted out exactly what was on her mind, and then realizing what she had done, shut her mouth in a heartbeat's time.

"you look so beautiful."

when into the wardrobe was coming closer, so were melody and evelyn. in fencing rehearsal, she always set her sword next to evelyn's. they sat side by side, in the cold. and when melody laughed at herself, so did evelyn. they rolled like dough on a wooden cutting board together, on the floor, in hysterics. their eyes met, and melody felt all her bones grow cold and her cheeks flush. that night, she wrote in the inside of her palm in purple permanent marker.

she wrote, "i love her."

the dancers moved their rehearsals into the local theater that next week. a week before the performances, last in november. she took photos of her and evelyn out of loneliness. there were many moments that she cherished behind the stage. when a curtain was about to fall on her, evelyn swept her out of the way, and they held each other for one precious moment, maybe two. and when evelyn cried from anguish that second morning when they performed, no one said anything but melody put her hand on her shoulder in which to comfort her. and she said that it was all going to be okay. she still remembers that. all those memories possess her dreams still.

after into the wardrobe was over, melody continued to text evelyn and they talked about the stupidest shallow things and just small talk really. it was so hard for her to stay quiet. she was blooming over with love. she had just moved into a new house. she wanted nothing more than to tell evelyn how she felt. but she was so scared. she was terrified. she was an eighth grader who fell into an unreciprocated love with an 11th grader. it was unconventional. grotesque, even. but how could she know evelyn's truth if she never asked? she was living in an orange sleeping bag in the hallway. she cried when she watched evelyn dance her solo, titled "the mask." everyone looked at her like she was crazy. like she was batshit mad. she wanted to be wanted, but she didn't know how to love herself first. it was december and the days felt darker even when they were light.

on tuesday, december 7th, 2021, it was night and the moon was too shy to show behind the clouds. she was in the orange sleeping bag, restless. she picked up the phone, and typed what she meant to say to evelyn, and then held down the backspace. she tried again, and looked over it once to be sure, and then hit send.

wednesday morning was her last lecture for her college shakespeare class. but her mind wandered from othello and desdemona when evelyn's contact icon popped up on her lockscreen.

evelyn wrote:

hey i really like you but only as a friend. i am aromantic so like, liking people is something i dont really do. i’m so sorry and i hope we can still be friends. 😊

both melody and evelyn went to a christmas party at the end of december, and she tried to talk to her rejector but found it impossible. all she could say was "i am so sorry. for everything." and in a voice drenched in pity, evelyn responded with simply, "it's okay." after the party, she couldn't sleep anymore. she moved from the sleeping bag in the hallway to her miniature closet. but the closet was too small and all her destructive thoughts were trapped in such a space. on the couch, she still didn't sleep. but she couldn't admit to herself that her insomnia was because her mind was poisoned with thoughts of evelyn. evelyn had infiltrated her every breath. it was the start of the haunting.

the new year hurt still but she couldn't dare to show it. she felt so alone. she still breathed, walked, danced, studied, she did all the things she would usually but every step was heavy. heavy as evelyn's rejection. heavy as her hand as it reached for the pencil she sharpened to scratch her wrists with. heavy as the tears that plastered her cheeks. heaviest was the darkness under her eyes from not sleeping or laughing at all. in february, she saw "the mask" on stage again. she was a wreck from just merely the first backbeats of the song. evelyn's face said everything melody couldn't speak aloud. after she left the stage, evelyn came back to the audience to her mother who was sitting in the row in front of melody and her friends. the others all congratulated her on her dance, but evelyn just looked into melody's eyes, and all that was left unsaid screamed louder than any love letter ever could.

on a march mooned night, melody found evelyn after class and froze when she said her name. her eyes were adorned with blue eye glitter, and melody was intimidated to say the least by her immense beauty. she said she was sorry. evelyn hurt her, and she said she was sorry. all evelyn said then was "for what?" and all melody could do was stutter and walk away, ashamed. later that march, melody auditioned for the joffrey ballet and was accepted into all of their intensives. she pressed accept on the first of april, and booked a plane ticket to manhattan for three weeks that july. three weeks without evelyn. three weeks in the big apple. three weeks where she could leave the mess she left in california behind, and start anew.

but in april, she was in dublin, california for three days with evelyn and the rest of her ballet studio. she shared a moment with evelyn behind the curtain that was charged with chemistry, a flicker of sexual tension neither could admit to. she became rash with her emotions, and the weighing of what she still felt and what she was conflicted with had lifted to show a weak underbelly. and that pink flesh of weakness was inflicted with a poison arrow. the poison arrow was named evelyn. melody believed this was her last chance to see if evelyn had a change of heart. she was stupid to ever believe that a person could change that drastically in just a few months. she was stupid when she pulled out her sticky yellow post-its and wrote what she could never say aloud in messy black ink handwriting.

she found the word love left behind on the counter by evelyn's bag.

it was torn.

it was rejected.

again.

melody felt sick for the next week. her head ached, her stomach churned, but no test came up positive for any virus. she couldn't even look at evelyn. the next tuesday, she was really very insensitive and while they were in a class leaning against the bars, her hand brushed against evelyn's, and for a minute, it was like seventh grade all over again. innocence wrapped in desire. choking her. suffocating her. pressing her down until her breaths ceased. she pulled away as quickly as she regained her sense, but it was enough to trigger what would happen next. melody had many regrets in her lifetime, but in the moment, this was the only one she could even grasp.

saturday was the worst day of melody's life, just yet. her directors pulled her in from class and told her the worst truth imaginable. they told her to let go. they told her that she made evelyn uncomfortable. they told her that evelyn and her mother did not want melody to love her anymore. but it wasn't that simple. love is not an off and an on switch. love is … messy. and imperfect. and love, it doesn't always get to be exercised, it just sits and climbs further back into the mind until it cracks. and you cry. and you crumble. and so does the love you felt for that person, ever so slowly. for melody, she didn't understand this yet. she thought that love could never break. that love had to work out. that love was something that was to be craved and desired, not hidden from. and so, she wrote the letter.

she carried the letter with her everywhere. in the car, while walking the street, in class even. it was always with her, in case she found the right moment. even just a mere quiet moment. she re-sealed the letter three times. cream envelope, green envelope, white envelope. at one point, she wrote evelyn's name on the outside. in the end, she did not. she gave evelyn the letter on the 16th of april, 2022. there weren't many people around when she handed the letter to its intended recipient. her hands shook with anxiety she had been carrying around with her for weeks. she walked up to evelyn when she was watching a video on her phone. it must have been funny, because she was kind of smiling. she pulled out an earbud to listen to melody, as she paused her video. she told evelyn to read it at some point, and evelyn said okay, so that was that. the days following felt like an eternal waiting. but the next tuesday, she walked up to evelyn and asked her if she had read the letter. just like that. she held her breath until her face flushed violet with lack of breath.

so, did you read it? she asked. she stuttered more than she had intended to, and felt stupid about it.

uh, yeah. i did, evelyn said. a huge relief washed over melody, stunted with a deep sadness that she couldn't quite remove herself from.

so... are we good, then?

yeah. yeah, we're good, evelyn replied. she cried only when she turned away from evelyn. she could never know that melody never wanted to give her the letter because it really meant that it was all over. later that night she spoke again to evelyn.

evelyn? she asked. so no hard feelings, right?

yeah, she said in her fake tone of sympathy that melody had heard too many a time. i don't really care, anyway, evelyn said quieter.

well just let me know if i am being a creep or something, okay? and melody walked out in a great hurry, not wanting to start anything she couldn't finish.

it was harder to stop loving evelyn than she thought originally. and apparently, she was very bad at separating the way she (still) felt about her, with the way she had to appear to feel. she didn't want to come off as someone who couldn't let go of what had past, but in a way, it was as simple as that. she couldn't let go. she could not move on. she was still in love with evelyn, whether or not she let herself admit that. june whirled into the picture very soon, as if spring had just fluttered out the window and into a past too painful to recall. june was evelyn's birthday. and melody made a stupid decision of writing her a birthday card. a three-page birthday card. and not only did she feel like an idiot, she felt worthless. when she gave it to evelyn and when her teacher pulled her aside to tell her the worst news she had ever guessed to hear. black and white, she heard. no talking to her. avoid her. leave her alone. give her space. no smiling at her. no saying hello. no saying goodbye. she cried like a baby who's lollipop was taken from them, but at the same time, her love began to crack. and the tower of guilt and regret burst from the flames of her love for evelyn. and she knew that she was evelyn to her now. not evie. not ever again. she felt so alone now. so empty. and so ready to get on that plane to new york city.

july was dreamy and perfect and everything she was was separate from who she was around evelyn. because she was 3,000 miles away from her. and the way she danced with evelyn was different, she realized, than how she danced without her. because when her every waking thought was to impress evelyn, she wasn't even herself, really. but coming home from the big city was a shock to say the least. it was like nothing had changed. evelyn still looked at her like she was a criminal walking on the string between death row and sentenced to life. coming back home to the place she tried to escape from was a lot for her mental and physical health. she made a rash decision, stemming from impulse and from fear. she dropped out of the accelerated training program at her studio, and tried to fall asleep at night. she wanted as much time as possible apart from evelyn, but the cards never fell in her favor. she could barely look at her, let alone respond to her when she spoke on the rare occasion, to melody directly.

fall was like nothing she had ever experienced. it was the cold shoulder, it was the shunning, but it was the prolonged glances across a dark gray room. it was the thought of drifting. it was the question she asked herself everyday: "is this still love?" she wished it not to be, but she knew better. she was a freshman now, and evelyn was a senior. there was a power struggle that she hadn't acknowledged before. she had taken evelyn off of the pedestal. she was no longer simply "the beloved." she could see the flaws of the one she loved so deeply, yet somehow it felt like she could only see her own. she was so desperate to be seen yet so scared of the watcher. and soon it was winter and they were competing for the first time that year. evelyn joked casually to the others about loving them and pretending to hug them. everyone but her. she cried in the audience watching evelyn's solo. she scratched her wrists and dried her tears as she watched her world bleed into evelyn's again, and it hurt. it pained her to watch as everything went on as it was but except the missing piece was that evelyn was no longer by melody's side to pull her away from falling curtains anymore.

in the springtime evelyn taught a few of the ballet classes that melody was a teacher's aid for. it was silly almost. to have the two in a room working together. the irony wasn't lost on melody. she just wanted more than anything for the two hours of time she spent with evelyn alone that week to end as abruptly as it had began. because nobody told her it was to be. nobody prepared her on what to wear or what to do. and too, in the spring, evelyn began to warm up to melody again. she would often share a barre with her, or say something stupid to make her laugh. it was hysterically obvious what evelyn was trying to do. she was attempting to win melody over. during this time melody was told that the no-contact policy was only temporary and that she was idiotic to think that it was still being enforced.

the last time melody shared a barre with evelyn before her graduation was unsettling. melody went into medical crisis just by spending that much time so close to evelyn. and when she was crying in the locked doors of the bathroom with a sugar water and a tissue wadded up in the small of her palm, melody wanted to hurt herself more than she had ever wanted to before. she wanted to slice her wrists and smash her head against a brick wall until evelyn could smell her blood. but she knew that evelyn's graduation farewell would be a worser pain than this one, it would be a life-changing moment for both of them. she loved a girl who took a boy to the prom, but still hugged her and said she looked cute. she loved a girl who said she was done with her, but still fished for compliments like a toddler in a new dress. she had fallen for a girl who no matter what she said, would never truly be a good person deep down.

#poetry #original poetry #mine #poets on tumblr #romance #unrequited love #limerance #poets #female poets #lgbtqia #poems #sad poem #prose poem #love poem #poems on tumblr #novella #autobiography #true story

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taestefully-in-luv · 2 years

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Love Again | PJM (Five)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 11.3k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, lots of crying, mentions of blood, character death, mention of multiple character deaths, very sad jimin, sad oc, misunderstandings, conflicted feelings, I think that’s all…

Notes: oh man, I hope you guys are ready for the messy ass mess to come, lol. I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Love hearing from you guys<3 Send an ask if you want to be added to a tag list or just want to chat:)

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When Jimin first laid eyes on Emma, he could quite literally feel his world changing around him. Emma Dubois, the star of the show, always proving to be the most captivating in a room. She was the definition of elegance and grace. She was the definition of talent and beauty. She was a star…there was no doubt in Jimin’s mind about that. She shimmered in the spot light and Jimin was completely taken when he saw how she glowed just as much off stage. He was sure he had seen no one like her before…this was instant admiration.

Jimin sits here, staring at you as you stare at him—waiting for some sort of explanation, no doubt. He gazes at you in wonder…just how similar are the two of you after all? He goes back into his memories, shifting through each one and tries to figure out which pieces are most important and relevant. Does he start from the beginning? Or does he spoil everything by telling you the end? Does he even tell you anything at all? Staring at you now, he sees all the words you want to say from your eyes alone…you’re curious. You’re hurt…it may have been five years but slivers of pain and neglect can still be seen in these eyes that he has missed.

He remembers imagining your eyes…looking just like they are right now and he’s hit with that similar pang of guilt he felt that first day. He remembers those first moments he laid eyes on Emma…telling himself it was instant admiration when later he convinced himself it was actually love at first sight. Guilt. Guilt because how is it possible to fall in love again? Guilt because it hasn’t been that long since you and he parted. Guilt because he pushed those thoughts away and let himself become engrossed in a new love.

This new love was different than what he got to experience with you…different could be good, right? Different was different! Jimin was fully captivated by Emma, yes…but they were both so entirely and fully focused on the same things. Their career. She challenged him like no other person has ever gotten to. Jimin admired her so much that taking his eyes off of her felt like something similar to a crime. She would scold him, playfully telling him to focus on his own work.

In the beginning things could not have been more perfect…new city, new love, new shows. New, new, new. It’s like life really began again. It’s like life was actually only truly just start—Jimin stops that thought from completing itself…a new life was starting. The life he shared with you was also real and it wasn’t something he wanted to disappear from his memories.

Jimin wants to laugh. Would it sound humorless and bitter? That might be the case but laughing about this now seems like the only appropriate thing. Laughing at himself seems like the thing he deserves. You have no idea, Jimin thinks. You have no idea how easy life was for him when he was with you…you have no idea because for you, you see him as the man who happily moved on only a few months later. Do you have any idea how long he was with Emma? Do you have any idea how grossly in love he was with her? Do you have any idea how abruptly their relationship ended? And do you have any idea that you, you were ultimately their downfall?

No, that part isn’t true. You weren’t their downfall. He was. And he isn’t sure their relationship truly ended abruptly either…he looks back now and realizes it was on the rise of a downfall much earlier than he had first thought. Laughing now is all he can do, right? In the end, he can only blame himself, right? In the end, someone like Taehyung was right all along. And he is much too prideful to tell Taehyung he was right.

“Jimin…” He hears you call his name. Your single word is soft. The tone of your voice is one he recognizes in half a heartbeat, he knows this tone better than he knows most things. The way you said his name is special for only him. Soft, tender and careful. Loving even. Well, maybe, he thinks.

“What happened in New York?” You tilt your head just slightly, your eyes focusing on his, boring into him intensely yet soft around the edges. You’re asking him directly. Of course, he was expecting this eventually. He knows you must have been curious since the first day you saw him. Most likely a million questions running through that pretty, busy mind of yours.

Once again he wonders to himself…does he start from the beginning or does he spoil the ending? Could you handle the journey? Could you listen to him talk about the time he fell in love for a second time in his life? Could you handle knowing that he has lived moments where he didn’t think of you? But her?

“Jimin.” You say his name again, observing how troubled his mind seems. “I’m not asking you to tell me about it because I feel like you owe me an explanation.” You sigh out, “I am not owed something like that…I’m a big girl. I understand we were broken up and I couldn’t have expected that you would stay stuck on me forever. It hurt at the time…it felt sudden to me. It felt like no time had passed at all but for you it was different, that’s okay. I—we can work through that at another time.” You scoot a little closer to him and reach for his beer bottle, taking it from his hands and setting it on the coffee table. “I am wanting you to tell me about it because I’m worried about you and maybe telling me…can help make you feel better?”

One side of Jimin’s lips slightly lift into a smile, his expression void of any real joy. The half-smile going on is another laugh in Jimin’s mind—the humorless and bitter laugh. He does want to tell you because it’s you. Because it’s especially you. But he understands the irony, shouldn’t he also not want to tell you? Because it’s you? Because it’s especially you?

“I know that whatever it is,” You begin again, your fingers lifting in hesitance before you reach for his hand. “I know it’s weighing heavily on you…you can talk to me, Jimin.”

A small, breathy laugh finally leaves Jimin’s mouth but his lips slightly quiver as he takes in a deep breath. He tries to keep his eyes on you, watching the way you fill with worry for him. But your face, your beautiful face is becoming blurred thanks to the layer of tears on his eyes. He takes another deep breath, his lips still curved into some sort of half smile as he tries to compose himself. You inch closer now, your thigh up against his. Your head leaning forward as you try to look at him, your brows furrowed and your lips slightly parted. He knows you’re worried. Your entire body and facial expressions give away how fucking worried you are.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin chokes out, his throat feels coarse. “I’m—I’m so sorry.” He begins blinking at you over and over, trying his best to clear some of these tears in his eyes so he can see you better.

“You don’t need to say sorry to me right now, Jimin.” You whisper to him. “This isn’t about me right now.”

“It is though.” His words begin getting stuck somewhere in his chest, hardly audible by the time they travel up his throat and leave his mouth. “I…I can’t tell you anything until you know how sorry I am.” He tells you. He holds your hand tighter, hoping you can sense his sincerity. “I didn’t know you were there opening night.”

“Would it have changed anything?” Your tone is light, your eyes staying on his. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s okay.”

Jimin knows you are right. He doesn’t think it would have changed anything…at that time he was in love—or maybe he was just starstruck. Even looking back he isn’t completely sure what it was. How it started.

But it did start—it started with his admiration and his charm, it started with her own growing interest and her own longing. Emma didn’t want to make any room in her life for a romantic partner but Jimin…Jimin was so alluring. She couldn’t stop herself and she couldn’t deny what was building between them.

Jimin remembers the way the two of them fit so easily with the other. They both had busy schedules and strict routines. They could understand each other, leading similar lives. Jimin’s admiration only grew bigger and bigger. Once they were together officially he didn’t stop himself from falling in love so hard.

Jimin sits here, his mind so concentrated on the word ‘love’. He loved her. He must have. But there is conflict in his heart. Emma was the most brilliant performer he had ever seen and he cherished her immensely. But how could Emma feel like someone so out of reach even when she was in his arms? Was it love? Maybe infatuation? Or was it…envy?

Two years had passed and Jimin and Emma seemed like the most picture perfect couple. With his admiration, Jimin tended to put Emma on a pedestal. He tried his hardest every single day to make sure he and her always remained in sync. He had to make sure for every second he was with or without her that the two of them had perfected perfection itself. Deep down, Jimin knew he felt this…this unbalance. He naturally always placed her way above him. Maybe that’s love, he thought. He was obsessed with perfection and he truly believed that them being together was an idea of perfect.

“Emma…” Jimin clears his throat, his hand remaining in yours. “Emma was perfect.” He admits, pausing to look at you, gauging your reaction from his comment. You don’t show any sign of discomfort, your expression remaining the same—worried. He continues, “I thought how could someone be like this? So effortless, it seemed.” Jimin feels his throat constrict. He tries to take a short break with some deep breaths.

“Take your time.” You whisper. “It’s okay.”

“It wasn’t effortless, though.” He swallows some spit, hoping to help with his drying throat. “She worked so hard to be that way. I had to work hard too…” His eyes meet yours, “She wasn’t easy to keep up with.”

You only look at him, not voicing your thoughts just yet. You can only imagine the pressure Jimin felt…he already works himself so harshly but…

“But it felt worth it.” He nods his head slowly, biting onto his lower lip, deciding if he wants to say the next part. But he does. “I loved her. But eventually the newness of a relationship had worn off. The part where each partner tries so hard for the other…making them feel loved…special even.”

Jimin remembers the long days, the long nights. Instead of a date, it was rehearsals. Instead of showing the other affection, it was kissing a costar. After nearly four years together he was beginning to feel so overworked and overwhelmed. Everything was always about how they could improve their next stages. She was as persistent with perfection as he was but he noticed they could never just…have fun. They could never fucking relax.

“Things were rocky between us for a while.” Jimin admits, his eyes lowered to his lap. He watches as your thumb brushes against the skin of his hand. “I was in denial about it though. I was so blinded because I loved her. I couldn’t admit that I was losing myself.” His voice cracks and he feels you flinch. “I was always reminded of you.” His voice is much quieter now. “Am I a fucking asshole for that?”

“Jimin…”

“There were so many amazing moments, don’t get me wrong.” Jimin lifts his eyes to look at you, “But overall, we were struggling.” Then he scoffs lightly, small smile. “Well, I was struggling. She had no idea things between us were so bad.”

“She…she had no idea?” You can’t help but ask, “I’m sure she knew.”

“Well, she kind of knew—thanks to Taehyung.” Jimin sounds irritated now, “That idiot mentioned something and she overheard it. Thanks to that small slip, she brought it up all the time. Anytime she felt things weren’t going okay between us she always mentioned it.”

“What was it?”

“You.” Jimin answers after a beat, “She never knew about you until then—”

“Wait.” You cut him off, “Is that why you are ignoring Taehyung…really?”

“No, not exactly.” Jimin answers softly, sighing out. “We got into a fight and I said some hurtful things…he was just trying to be honest with me and I was—I was stressed, y/n. I know that’s not an excuse but I was going crazy at that time. And I didn’t want to hear what he was telling me.”

“What we he telling you?” Your thumb continues to rub his skin.

Jimin thinks for a moment, recalling a specific memory.

“This isn’t healthy, Jimin.” Taehyung’s frown is set deep into his features. “It’s the same every time I’ve come to visit…”

“I’m just stressed.” Jimin doesn’t have time for this, he doesn’t want to have time for this. Taehyung’s disapproval is apparent and the irritation Jimin feels from it is pushing him further away—he isn’t sure the irritation is from the disapproval itself or because maybe he knows Taehyung is right.

“Stressed? Then when are you not?” Taehyung scoffs, his own irritation showing itself. “You weren’t like this before. You need a balance dude. Before with…with y/n, you knew when to draw the curtains closed. But with Emma? It’s like you never get off stage. You are always performing.”

“I don’t have time for this, Taehyung. I’m supposed to meet Emma in like 15 minutes.”

“She can’t understand that your best friend is visiting and maybe it’s okay to take a day off?”

“You don’t fucking understand.” Jimin stands abruptly, one shoes laces left untied. “I…” Jimin’s eyes are cold as he stares at Taehyung. “I don’t…I don’t have time for this.” He almost looks void of emotion before bending down again to finish up his other shoe.

“This isn’t you.” Taehyung decides to say his truth before turning away and heading towards his suitcase, zipping it up quickly and setting it down on the floor, he turns to face Jimin again, taking a deep breath. “You know there’s more to life than…” He gestures his hands around. “…this?”

“Taehyung—”

“Well, you used to know.”

“Taehyung was trying to warn me.” Jimin licks his drying lips, “It’s not that he didn’t like Emma…he just didn’t like who I was with Emma. She was seriously the sweetest fucking person. She was kind, she was beautiful, she was so passionate. But I think I can admit now…being with her I felt so on edge.” Jimin starts chewing on his lips now, feeling anxious. “You know what it’s like to never have a fucking moment to relax?” He looks at you, his expression pained.

At that time, Jimin found himself always comparing his experiences. Why did he always have to think of you? Why were you always in the back of his mind? Why couldn’t he just forget about you and how you made him feel? How come when he’s on stage performing and he knows Emma is watching that he can’t find his right footing? He can’t feel good about himself? When he performed and you were in the audience? He was comforted. He was confident. But with Emma, he was never perfect. He will never be good enough.

He was reaching his breaking point at that time. And finally, Emma knew it. She could finally see it, feel it. But as always she brought up you. It’s funny…she always brought you up but never once said your name. Jimin never said it either. But they both knew. She accused Jimin like she always did…why couldn’t he just be comfortable around her? She was so confused. And she had every right to be…she wasn’t doing anything wrong. This was all because of Jimin and his own thoughts. He was going crazy all by himself. Why was he never on her level? Was she always going to be this person that is always out of his reach? Was she always going to be someone he would never walk next to…was she always going to be so ahead of him?

“Third year…” Jimin reminds you, his voice soft and trembling now as he has all these memories fresh on his mind. “We almost broke up because you felt like I wasn’t anywhere near you…you felt—”

“Envious.” You finish for him. “I admired you for your passion but eventually it made me question myself, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Jimin nods, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. “I get you now. I understand.” His voice shakes and he finally squeezes his eyes shut and you notice a couple of tears falling slowly from his lids. “I had this unhealthy idea.” He admits. And you can feel how hard it was for him to say that.

“But that idea doesn’t have to remain, Jimin.” You loosen your grip around his hand, leaving it altogether when you grab his shoulder, rubbing it softly. “I got over those feelings. You were never out of my reach. I created that mess in my own mind. And you…you assured me and I never felt that way again.”

“But that was you.” Jimin’s voiced is strained, struggling so hard at this point. “That was you and me.”

“It—”

“Emma was so sweet, y/n.” He chokes, “She meant well, she really did. But she was so focused on performance…she didn’t mean to neglect me.”

“I can’t imagine anyone neglecting you on purpose.” You smile towards him, your hand still on his shoulder. “I’m sure it was okay.”

“It almost was.” Jimin’s hands fidget around, grasping for anything for comfort—his jeans, the sofa cushion, anything. “I finally got the fucking courage and talked to her about it. And she was heartbroken that I was feeling that way. Of course, she was heartbroken.” Jimin smiles through some more tears. “She was an angel, the sweetest soul. Knowing she was hurting me made her feel awful.”

“See?” You squeeze his shoulder. “She didn’t want to neglect you, Jimin.”

“I know.” He nods, his hand reaching up to wipe away some tears and snot. “She promised things were going to get better. We were going to spend more time together, we were going to focus on things that had nothing to do with fucking stupid ass Broadway.”

“Then what happened? Did you two break up? Soon after? I assume a breakup happened considering you’re here…and Lucy…”

Jimin’s eyes slightly widen, he lifts his head to look into your eyes. He looks more pained than ever. He just nods his head. So they did break up, you think—and it must have been bad.

“What happened?” You’re cautious to ask this but you have a feeling this is the most important part of the story.

“There was a moment, a long stretch of moments, where I felt happy. She was still focused on things obviously but she made me feel more important. She made me feel that maybe there could be a balance between us. Then she surprised me.” Jimin is feeling weak, his hands still unsure of where to go. You finally notice, your hand leaving his shoulder to grab onto both of his hands in his lap. He sighs out, needing your comfort now more than ever.

Jimin takes his time thinking about what to say next. He knows he should leave some things out. For your sake, he thinks. He takes another deep breath, delving deeper into his memories from over a year ago. He remembers when Emma came to him, this look of purity and excitement gracing her features. She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled at him knowingly…Jimin felt giddy just at the sight. He remembers asking her what’s got her so excited and she responded with a long kiss. She booked them a cabin in upstate New York for 5 days.

He felt ecstatic…they had been together at that point for over four years and had never taken a trip together. He knew this could really be what they needed—what he needed. He was already fantasizing what it would be like to sit inside the warm cabin, in front of a fire place with hot chocolate while it snowed outside. It was picture perfect—just like he has always imagined when it came to him and Emma.

“She planned a trip to upstate New York,” Jimin’s voice is quiet again, too soft to really understand but you still could hear him perfectly. “But on the drive there we got into a fight. I was already so tense from driving…the roads were so bad. Icy and so much snow was falling.”

Jimin knows this is the part of the story that he has the most trouble recalling. Since that morning before the drive there was already tension between him and Emma…the entire week leading up to the trip, Emma was busier than usual. Jimin tried not to think too much about it but it felt an awful a lot like how things were before she promised it wouldn’t be like that anymore.

Was he selfish? That’s all he kept asking himself. And she confirmed it when she told him that he was. But she regretted it, apologizing immediately and said they should just focus on how amazing this trip was going to be. He agreed but he still felt uneasy. The morning of she mentioned a small snowstorm and Jimin said maybe they should just postpone. But she knew they needed this. The both of them were clearly forcing some type of cheery atmosphere the entire drive. Until she made a comment—a comment about you—and he could not let that go.

She became theatrical—for a lack of better words—she was an actress after all. Going on and on about how he needs to get over you. This was ridiculous, he loved her but yet she still felt the need to bring you into their problems. She blamed you for their issues though, saying he needs to let go of this idea that every relationship will go the way it did with you. She said she’s sorry she can’t be his little cheerleader like how you were. That she can’t obsess over him the way you did, she can’t because she has her own shit going on.

This had pissed Jimin off. You weren’t a little cheerleader or obsessed. You were simply a supportive girlfriend. And if that’s the case he was a fucking little cheerleader for you as well, and just as fucking obsessive. In that moment, Jimin realized he and Emma will never have the balance he always dreamed of with her.

And in that moment, Emma realized it too. She had calmed down and looked straight ahead, watching the icy roads and commented how pretty the snow was. Jimin only nodded, staring straight ahead as well, his hands gripping the steering wheel, tighter and tighter. He knew she knew. And she knew he knew. But neither of them could voice it out loud. Both only focusing on how much snow was falling, how each flake had its own unique pattern and how each one fell so beautifully.

Jimin needed to fix what was going on. Maybe he was still in denial. Maybe he tries too hard. But what the hell else could he do? They’ve been together for so long now…but how could he fix all of it when they both knew this wasn’t fucking working? He remembers asking her if she loved him…and he remembers how soft her voice was when she responded with ‘yes’. He remembers telling her he loved her too. Because he did. So much. Even if it wasn’t something that was meant to be. He knew she was always going to compare herself to you. And he knew he was always going to compare as well…he wishes he could have blamed you for their ending relationship but he knows what a waste that would be—and how unfair that would be for you.

“It doesn’t matter what we fought about…” Jimin breathes out, his breaths are shallow and shaky. “It was enough to end our relationship.”

It breaks Jimin’s heart that Emma had those thoughts that she was not good enough. Jimin really was selfish…he thought it was him who was bombarded with those insecurities. But she struggled with her own…she was perfect, Jimin thinks. Even if she wasn’t. She was the most amazing and talented person and he doesn’t know how it all started—love, infatuation, envy. But he did love her.

“I see.” You tell him, your tone is still as careful as when you started. Then you notice how Jimin holds his breath, how his hands tremble in yours and how he keeps opening and closing his mouth, like he is trying so desperately to speak but cannot. “Jimin?” You lean more into his space, trying to get a better look at his pained expression.

“I—I told her—I told her we….we…we shouldn’t go….” He chokes on each word, his breathing picking up and his tears falling quicker now. “She—She insisted.”

You pinch your brows closer together, “Yeah?”

“She thought…” He takes a second to breathe, sniffling before continuing. “She thought—she thought we needed this trip…to…to fix things. That this trip would save us.” He slams his eyes shut again, his warm tears cascading down his cheeks. “Nothing was saved though.”

“Jimin—”

“The roads were so bad, y/n.” Jimin cries, his chin tucked into his chest. “I told her—I said—I said, we s-should stop.”

Jimin can’t control himself now, his sobs are big and deep and racking his whole body. He falls into your chest and you don’t waste even a second to hold him. You are stunned silent, though. Wondering where the hell this conversation is going.

“But she—she didn’t want to.” His words are muffled now. You can feel your shirt becoming wetter. “But it was getting hard to—to see.” He cries into your chest, your fingers in his hair now. “I couldn’t see anymore, y/n. I couldn’t fucking see.”

You can’t manage any words. You wouldn’t even know what to say if you could speak. This is not…not what you were expecting.

“I was…I was trying so hard to slow down…but the breaks…the ice…the breaks felt—felt useless. The ice…the car wouldn’t—s-stop.” His arms finally wrap around your waist now, he cries harder as he holds on to you so tightly. “I didn’t mean for this.” He sobs, “I didn’t want this.” Each word is said with a pause, “I fucking—I fucking hate myself.”

You are trying so hard to keep your own tears at bay, but at his admission you feel how impossible that’s becoming. You are shaking, you are silently letting tears slide down your face and you are feeling the most heartbreak you have ever felt. You are at a loss for words.

“It’s—It’s my fault…” Jimin continues to breakdown, “She’s gone, y/n. She’s not here any—anymore.”

Jimin will never forget this particular memory because it is the one that haunts him the most. The day he woke up in the hospital. Doctors say he is lucky he survived. But he never felt lucky. Why was he the one who lived? Why did it have to be him? Emma did not meet that same fate…she later died in the ICU. The surgery not saving her in time. Jimin remembers trying to recall how it all happened…the car slid off their side of the road and was hit by another vehicle coming in the other direction. His guilt only deepened when he later found out in the crash between the two cars—he was the only survivor. Parents and their little girl not seeing another day.

“I fucking—fucking hate myself, y/n. I fucking hate myself.” Jimin’s cries are intense and his poor, weak body trembles in your hold. You don’t know how it’s possible but you pull him closer to you and finally you find your voice.

“No, Jimin.” You whisper softly, as tenderly as you can. “Nothing is your fault, I promise you, nothing is your fault.”

Jimin remembers when he was going in and out of consciousness in the car after the accident he was trying to shake Emma’s body awake. He remembers being so weak, like he couldn’t feel his own body. Things were fading so much, but he remembers when he pulled his hands off her, they were covered in blood. Were they always covered in blood? His blood? Her blood? He doesn’t know. And he almost prefers not to.

“y/n…” Jimin wails now, his cries are loud and heart wrenching. You pull away from him and get him to lift off of you. His face is inches from yours, swollen and puffy. His eyes barely opened as tears fall uncontrollably. You hold his face in your hands, your thumbs wiping away at tears and you gaze into his eyes with as much sincerity as you can muster.

“It isn’t your fault.” You assure him, your eyes never leaving his. “It was an accident. It’s all an accident.” Your thumbs keep brushing over his cheeks, his tears spilling and his lips pulled down, creating such a devastating expression. “And call me selfish,” You openly cry in front of him, “But I am so, so fucking happy you survived.” You close your eyes and lean your forehead against his. Jimin’s eyes widen and then he only cries harder. Maybe he needed to hear that, maybe he needed comfort like this—comfort from you specifically.

“I am so happy you’re here, Jimin.” You whisper, tears still spilling. “I am so happy. I’m so happy.” You keep repeating, your own voice shaky now. “You’re here, Jimin.”

Jimin falls into the crook of your neck, his crying continuing. He needed this. He never got this opportunity with anyone. He was so wrapped up into his guilt…confiding into anyone felt wrong, so, so wrong. How could he? How could he expect anyone to understand him?

It’s been quiet for some time now…if you had to guess, you’d think more than an hour has already passed by. Jimin hasn’t left you, his head on your shoulder as you two lean back on the sofa. Your fingers intertwined with his in your lap. He sniffles every now and then but no actual words have been exchanged for a while. He’s calmed down though and at this point that’s all that really matters.

“They fired me.” Jimin blurts out of nowhere. “Well, ‘let go’ but everyone knows they just fucking fired me.”

“What?” You look towards his head on your shoulder. “The show you were working on?”

“Yeah. The director let me go.” He quietly huffs, “I get why though. I didn’t make their lives any easier.”

“They fired you…but they knew what you were going through?”

“Yeah, they did.” He answers simply.

“What the hell…” You comment in disbelief, “They fired you even though—”

“I said I didn’t make it easy for them.” Jimin chuckles, “I was being horrible. I don’t even remember half the times because I showed up wasted to rehearsals.”

“I heard…I heard you tried fighting with someone? Cussed the Director out?”

Jimin lifts his head from your shoulder and gazes at you, clearly confused. “How did you hear that?” He asks before it clicks. “Ah, Lucy. Rumors spread fast.” He drops his head to your shoulder again. “One of the guys made a comment towards me…said it should have been me instead of her. That the community lost one of the greatest…well, I punched him.”

“He fucking deserved it then.” You tell him. “I would punch him too, if I could.”

Jimin chuckles again, “Yeah, you would.”

“What about the Director?”

“He didn’t mean to cross me…” Jimin sighs, “But he tried telling me maybe it was time I took a break for real…or maybe it’s time I begin to get over things…because it had been a few months. Because you know, it only takes a few months to get over something so fucking traumatizing.”

“I’m sorry, Jimin.” You hold his hand tighter, “I hate this, I do. I wish I could take your pain away.” Your eyes begin to water again, but you blink it away quickly.

“You are.” He tells you softly. “It sounds crazy but just telling you and being with you now feels healing.”

“So you left New York and came here.” You mention, trying to understand the timeline.

“Yeah. My parents had been begging me to come back for a while. But staying with them…I needed my own space.”

“I get that.”

“Then I decided to try out the old theatre again. Mr. Smith was surprised to see me and I could tell he was happy. But to be honest…I think I was happier than he was. Just to see a familiar face.” Jimin laughs now, “And then I met Lucy.”

“Right, Lucy.” You chew on your lip, “Can I ask…what your plan with that is?”

“Yeah.” You feel Jimin nod. “Lucy is great. She’s nice and she’s pretty goofy. She got me to laugh…which was something that felt impossible at the time.” Understandably so, you think. “I just wanted a distraction…I just wanted to think about something else for a change. I didn’t mean for things to turn out the way they have…I am not using her like that, I swear. I do genuinely enjoy being around her.”

“Yeah but Lucy…”

“I know. But I can only see her as a friend. And she knows that. I have told her. But still, she pushes for something more and I could not figure out why. Until recently.”

“What do you mean?”

“She likes your friend Hoseok, right?”

“Oh.”

“Maybe it’s her using me?” Jimin laughs again, “I don’t mind, though. I wish things never…escalated between us…” He clears his throat, “Physically, I mean…” He adds awkwardly. “But we haven’t done anything like that for a little while now. I didn’t feel right. But uh, what about you and Namjoon?” he asks carefully, “What’s going on with that?”

“I…” What the hell do you say to this? “I don’t know.” You admit but then shake your head, “I mean, I do know. I guess. He’s a great guy. I like him. We get along really well and he’s really great. Seriously.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“I don’t know…sounded like there was going to be a ‘but’ in there.”

“But…but I don’t know if we are there yet.” You decide to admit, “I want to take things really slowly, I guess? He’s amazing but I don’t know, things… things are never what we expect, you know?”

“I do know, yeah. But he’s not your boyfriend?”

“Not my boyfriend.” You confirm.

“Do you want him to be?” Jimin waits for your answer but it takes a while to come. “You’re hesitating. That’s never a good sign.”

“Shut up.” You chuckle, “I’m not! I just…”

“You’re hesitating again. Why?”

“It’s just been a while since I’ve committed to anyone…the thought is a little scary.”

“But he’s amazing.” Jimin repeats your compliment from earlier, “But you know, sometimes no matter how amazing a person is…it doesn’t mean you are meant to be with them.” His soft tone greets you again and you hate how it makes your insides feel. “If something feels like it’s missing…”

You know where he is going with this and it’s solid advice, it really is but Namjoon is a rare gem among men—scratch that, among people and you aren’t going to risk that.

“He’s not my boyfriend and I don’t know if he ever will be but I am enjoying my time with him.” You decide to say, remembering words Namjoon has said. Then you change the subject back.

“I think you need to talk to Lucy. Like, really talk. I don’t fully know what’s going on in her mind but I think—” You cut yourself off as you remember tonight’s events. Lucy kissed Hoseok. Oh shit. Why is everything a fucking mess…

“I will.” Jimin agrees. “But I don’t regret anything that has happened. I’m really glad for meeting Lucy for multiple reasons.” You only hum in response. It’s silent for a few moments before Jimin speaks up again.

“Do you know how fast my heart started racing when I saw you in that café?” Jimin asks you, his tone is softer than before. “Do you know how hard my heart was fucking pounding when we spoke to each other?”

“Well, I can imagine. It was really shocking.” You explain, tone just as soft.

“Not just shocking.” Jimin whispers, “Exciting.”

“I…” You pause, staring down at your joined hands before sighing out. “I guess I can understand how you felt.” You admit.

“And do you know how at peace I felt when we spoke on the phone for the first time? How comforted I felt just seeing your face the night I came here drunk?” Jimin’s question hangs quietly in the air, you don’t respond and he doesn’t expect you to. More moments of silence pass before he speaks up again, “Isn’t it crazy that after all this time…you are still the person who does that to me? Excitement…peace…it’s crazy, right?” Once again, his question hangs so delicately above you both, silence is met again as neither of you expect the other to speak for the rest of the night. And you don’t. You both fall asleep on your couch but this time when you wake up the next morning, he is still there.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Sunday morning and you are exhausted…you didn’t necessarily go to bed super late but you just actually do not feel prepared to face the day today. Jeremy texted late last night to your group chat…the usual crew plus Namjoon this time. He asked if you are all still meeting for brunch…you realize he has no idea of the mess that unfolded on Friday but much to your surprise Lucy was the first to respond with a ‘yes’ and cute little smiley face. Immediately, you text Hoseok asking him if he and Lucy have spoken but he tells you no.

Everyone agrees on brunch though—much to your annoyance since you did not want to wake up for this—but now here you all are. Sitting around the table, a noticeable awkward tension in the air. Probably the most awkward thing though? The fact that sitting next to Lucy is Jimin. Did she tell Jimin? About kissing Hoseok? Your guess? Probably not.

“I’m not even joking…my sister’s husband snores so fucking loudly that I kept waking up in a panic.” Jeremy takes a bite of his waffle, syrup dripping from his fork. “I was tempted to call one of you guys and have you house me for the night.”

“You could have come to my place.” Naomi shrugs but then she smirks, “I would have made you sleep in the dog kennel though.”

“Somehow that sounds kinky.” Jeremy shudders, “Anyway, remind me to never go to your place again.”

“Fine by me.”

“So, how was everyone’s weekend?” Namjoon asks, polite smile on his face. “Anything fun or interesting happen?”

God, read the room, Namjoon! You internally groan.

“Nothing happened!” Lucy chirps, “Absolutely nothing.”

“Oh?” Hoseok lifts a brow at her, “Nothing happened? Like, nothing at all?”

Great, you know Hoseok and you know he is not one to let things go.

“Nothing worth mentioning…” Lucy begins to look antsy, awkward grin on her face as she looks around the table. “Jeez, why do I feel like you’re putting me on the spot?”

“I had a nice weekend.” Jimin speaks up, his eyes going to you and you mentally face palm. Guess he can’t read the room either.

“Nothing worth mentioning?” Hoseok’s eyes peer over at Lucy, “Ha, right.” His eyes go between her and Jimin and then he scoffs. Loudly. “You and your boyfriend didn’t hang out?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” She goes rigid at this. “You know that…we all know that…”

“Do we?” Hoseok asks, his eyes gleaming. “Wow!” He starts clapping his hands, “Well, thank goodness for that, right?” His grin is almost ominous.

“Hobi…” You glance over at him, “Dude.”

“What?” He shrugs, digging back into his food in front of him.

“Wait, you guys aren’t dating?” Jeremy asks, his mouth full of his breakfast food. “Thought you were. Wow,” He nods his head slowly before swallowing, “Next you guys are going to tell me you two aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.” He gestures between you and Namjoon and you quite literally choke on your mimosa.

“We…” You turn your head awkwardly towards Namjoon who just smiles at you, his hand finding your knee.

“But you aren’t though, right?” Jimin asks as nonchalant as possible.

“They basically are!” Lucy butts in, “Right, Namjoon?” She sends him a wink and you feel your cheeks grow warm.

“Yeah, Namjoon.” Naomi joins in on the teasing, “You should just ask her like, right now.” She tries to contain her giggles when all of your friends start laughing too.

“I’m not doing something that important in a moment like this…” Namjoon shakes his head with a smile. “But we’re…you know, in a good place.”

“What place is that?” Jimin speaks up again, “Like—”

“A good enough place to ask y/n to be your girlfriend, right?” Hoseok cuts in, he looks at you with a knowing smirk and sends you a ‘discreet’ thumbs up like he is really helping you out.

“Oh my god, let’s talk about something else. Literally anything else.” You groan, “Please, anyone.” You glance around the table, “Topic change?”

“Okay!” Naomi saves you, “Okay, so.” Her tone becomes more serious yet her face is lit up in amusement. “You guys know how Jonathan broke up with me? Yada Yada.”

“Yeah…” Jeremy answers carefully, “And?”

“And it’s not like we are praying for his downfall or any—”

“—I am.” Jeremy says quickly.

“—thing but a coworker of his that I had kind of became friends with told me that they all went out last night…and Jonathan got turned down. Twice. Like I said, not praying on his downfall but I have to say, I felt very pleased hearing that.” She smiles deviously towards you all and you snicker.

“Good, that’s what he gets.” Jeremy stuffs his mouth with food again, “He’s a loser.”

“Oh, he is going to miss you for sure.” Lucy nods her head in satisfaction, “Does he still follow you on social media?”

“Hm, yeah. I think so.”

“You should like post that you have a new boyfriend or something.” Lucy takes a sip of her drink, “That would probably make him want you more.”

Naomi can’t help but laugh, “I’m not like, going to lie!”

“It’s not really a lie…” Lucy trails off, “It’s just—”

“It is a lie.” Hoseok cuts her off, “It’s a total lie!”

“It’s harmless.” Lucy defends in a pout, “What Jonathan doesn’t know won’t kill him.”

“Oh, so just not saying anything is okay, now?” Hoseok narrows his eyes at Lucy. “It’s a lie. Lying is fucked up, dude.”

“I’m just—”

“Lucy, can I talk to you?” Hoseok asks suddenly, “Just for a minute. Outside.”

“I…yeah, okay.” Her eyes dart around, her smile as awkward as she is being.

“y/n…” Hoseok whispers towards you, “You too.”

“Me?” You mouth. “Why?”

“I need support.” He whispers towards you again and you roll your eyes.

“Uh, I’ll be back too.” You announce as awkward as this entire situation. Namjoon looks a bit concerned but you just smile for him and before you can stand up, Namjoon is leaning towards you and planting a soft kiss to your lips.

“See you in a bit.” He whispers. Your cheeks are warm all over again. You nod slowly while your eyes travel from his face to across from you—Jimin is already gazing at you and when you two make eye contact his eyes fall to his food. No known emotion on his face.

“Right.” You tell Namjoon before standing and walking towards Hobi and Lucy. You three make it outside when Hoseok is the first to speak.

“Lucy.” He turns towards her immediately, her entire body shrinking under his gaze.

“Hm?”

“Did you tell Jimin what happened?” He gets straight to the point. Something that is amazing and equally terrifying about Hoseok. “Kind of seems like you haven’t.”

“Why do I have to?” She asks quickly, her defenses rising. “I thought about it all weekend. He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“But you guys are kind of talking, right? You guys sleep together? You guys are obviously more than friends?”

“We aren’t.”

“Oh, so you two have actually established that whatever was going on between you guys is over?”

“Well, no…”

“Then you should tell him, obviously, right?” Hoseok looks at her, his expression confused. “Isn’t that the right thing to do?”

“He doesn’t need to know…” Lucy decides to say, her confidence getting smaller and smaller.

“So you are going to what? Lie to him?” Hoseok just does not understand…”You’re going to lie?”

“It’s not a lie…I’m just not saying anything.”

“Seriously? That’s the same as a lie???” Hoseok says in disbelief, “y/n, can you believe this?” He turns to you now, “Can you knock some sense into her?”

“Well…” You gulp, “There are some…situations where maybe the truth…uh, doesn’t need to come out?”

“What?” Hoseok blinks at you, “What are you talking about?”

“No, I just mean…Jimin knowing…it’s probably fine if he doesn’t. Jeez, not everything needs to be out on the table.” You chuckle awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

“So you think it’s okay that Lucy lies to him? Are you even hearing yourself?”

“I’m not lying…” Lucy speaks up, but her voice is quiet.

“You are.” Hoseok turns to her now, “Tell him the truth so you two can end things properly.”

“Hobi…” You say his name but he ignores you, he continues to look at Lucy and you can see how frustrated he is growing. He’s upset…really upset. That much is obvious but you’re trying to figure where all of this is coming from. You get it, lying is bad. But why does he want Jimin to know so badly? “Hobi.” You try again and he finally looks at you.

“What?” He snaps and you soften. He’s probably confused out of his mind right now. He never called you at all on Saturday…he’s probably still working through the events of Friday night.

“Lucy,” You look over at her, “Can you leave us? Sorry…” You apologize but she nods her head quickly. She looks between you and Hoseok before walking back inside to go back to the table.

“What’s going on?” You ask when you two are alone.

“What’s going on?” Hoseok repeats your question, his hands on his hips. “Seriously?” He asks incredulously. “Lucy fucking kissed me on Friday. She says she has a thing with another guy. But now she’s saying they aren’t a thing? You know how confusing that is? Is she just lying to make herself feel better? So, she doesn’t feel like a bad guy?” He rubs his face with a hand, “I need her to tell him…so they can end things properly.” Hoseok looks at you, his features relaxing. “I just…I can’t explore whatever is going on with her if she has someone else in the picture. I need to know they are done.” He admits now, his chest heaving still from his earlier irritation.

“Ah.” You nod, “I get it.”

“But she’s willing to lie? I don’t like that.” He says quieter now, “One thing that I love about all of us is how honest we all are. One lie…then another and another. That’s how those things work.”

You slowly close your eyes, feeling guilt begin to build. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You open your eyes and look at your best friend. You are lying to him. Even if he isn’t directly the person you are keeping something huge from…he is still in the unknown about something major. If he knew you have been lying to him all this time…how would he react? How would he feel?

“Everything you told me.” You say, clearing your throat. “You need to tell her. So she can understand. God, communicating is none of your guys strong suit.” You laugh…but that’s fucking rich coming from you.

“I know.” He sighs out, “But it’s hard because what if she thinks kissing me was a mistake? What if she doesn’t…feel the way I want her to?”

“Wow, I have been trying to get you to admit whatever the hell it is you are saying for so long…”

“And what is it I am saying?” He smirks at you and you lean forward to swat his chest. “Kidding, kidding.” He tells you. “But seriously. I can’t move forward with this until I know she tells Jimin and ends things with him for real. That’s fair, right?”

“I guess you’re right.” You smile, “But maybe instead of making snarky comments you can just tell her that yourself. In private.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hoseok comes closer to you, swinging an arm around your shoulders as you two walk back inside, “Let’s finish eating.”

It’s Sunday night now. You are all snuggled up on your couch with a drama playing on your TV. It’s gotten a little late probably…last time you saw the time it was after 10. You gasp at the TV when two characters get together that you were not expecting, you’re probably way too invested in this show but you would rather pay attention to some fictional drama than your real life drama. You feel your phone buzz and you struggle to find the device, it’s clearly gotten lost in the blanket. You shake the blanket around until finally your phone falls to the ground. You pick it up, laying back down and looking to see who texted you.

Jimin 10:58pm

Lucy and Hoseok kissed the other night

y/n 11:00pm

I know

Jimin 11:00pm

y/n 11:01pm

sorry I didn’t tell you when I knew… wasn’t my place

Jimin 11:01pm

I get it. Im not upset

y/n 11:01pm

so what happened? Between you and lucy I mean

Jimin 11:02pm

She felt bad

Jimin 11:02pm

Cried…said she knew it was wrong to keep it from me

Jimin 11:02pm

Said I had been nothing but honest with her and she was keeping something important from me

Jimin 11:02pm

Im sure you can imagine how I felt like shit when she said that lol

y/n 11:03pm

im sorry jimin…

y/n 11:03pm

maybe since you two aren’t…like that anymore…we don’t have to keep our secret?

Jimin 11:03pm

Is it that easy?

Jimin 11:04pm

The lie is already there. I don’t think any time would be a good time tbh. But if you want to tell them you can

y/n 11:05pm

what all did lucy say

Jimin 11:07pm

She asked if we could be just friends. I said yes obviously. She asked if it would be awkward if I still hung out with all of you guys

y/n 11:07pm

you should def still hang out

Jimin 11:07pm

Because you want me to?

y/n 11:08pm

we’d all want you to lol

Jimin 11:08pm

But im asking about you

y/n 11:11pm

yeah I want you to

Jimin 11:11pm

I want to as well

Jimin 11:11pm

But especially if you are there

Jimin 11:12pm

It wouldn’t be weird if you and I became friends like publicly right

y/n 11:12pm

idk

y/n 11:12pm

maybe

Jimin 11:13pm

I told lucy we were friends

y/n 11:13pm

you what now

y/n 11:13pm

jimin…

Jimin 11:14pm

Relax. I said when you texted me the address we kinda just kept texting and were friends now

y/n 11:15pm

and? Did she think it was weird???

Jimin 11:15pm

I don’t think so? Seemed happy

y/n 11:20pm

are we bad people jimin?

Jimin 11:20pm

Maybe I am but you aren’t

y/n 11:22pm

im the one who created this giant lie

y/n 11:22pm

my friends are going to fuckin hate me and I just have to accept that

Jimin 11:23pm

They might be mad y/n but they love you

Jimin 11:23pm

Seriously if this is bothering you so much we can tell them. Ill tell them with you

Jimin 11:23pm

We don’t have any reason to keep this from them anymore right?

y/n 11:24pm

im freaking out

y/n 11:24pm

hello consequences to my own actions

Jimin 11:25pm

Lol its going to be fine

y/n 11:30pm

we don’t know that

Jimin 11:30pm

It will be y/n

Jimin 11:30pm

Next time were all together we can tell them ok?

y/n 11:31pm

as much as I want you there for support it might be best if I tell them myself,,,maybe tell lucy before the others? I should probably tell hobi too…shit idk

Jimin 11:32pm

Ill support whatever you wanna do

Jimin 11:32pm

Are you sleepy?

y/n 11:37pm

sleepy?

y/n 11:37pm

no but I should be

Jimin 11:37pm

I know its late but want to hang out lol

y/n 11:37pm

like iN PERSON?!

Jimin 11:38pm

Lmao yeah

Jimin 11:38pm

Im not tired but I am watching my show and its crazy

y/n 11:39pm

what show? Im watching my show too and shits wild

Jimin 11:39pm

Im watching (*show you are also watching*)

y/n 11:39pm

wait for real?? Lol no way. What ep?! Im watching that too!!!

Jimin 11:40pm

Hahaha seriously? Im on 6

y/n 11:40pm

im on 7!!!! Come over!!!! Can you believe we only have 2 more eps until were caught up and have to start waiting weekly

Jimin 11:41pm

You want me to come now for real?

y/n 11:41pm

well yeah so we can watch the show

Jimin 11:41pm

Lol okay, I will leave in a few minutes then:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s like 9am and you are waiting patiently at Hoseok’s desk, expecting him any minute now. You need to know if he and Lucy talked…and you know, what about. You stand here, leaning against the desk when he finally walks through and is coming towards you. He’s got coffee in his hands and eyes narrowing at you almost comically.

“What?” He questions before setting the coffee down and pulling out his chair. “It’s too early for whatever you got going on.” He complains and you laugh.

“Lucy?” You raise a brow at him and he chuckles, shaking his head at you.

“Yeah, we talked last night.” He says but then tilts his head up at you. “How did you know? Did she say something? Did she talk about me? What did she say?”

“Oh, no.” You wave him off quickly. “She didn’t tell me, Jimin did.” You say before really thinking before you spoke.

“Jimin?” Hoseok scrunches his brows together, “Jimin told you? Jimin …tells you things?”

“Well,” You gulp. “Yeah, we’re friends?”

“Since fucking when?” Hoseok laughs, “That’s random as hell but okay.”

“It’s not really random? He hangs out with us?”

“He hangs out with Lucy. The rest of us are just kind of there.” Hoseok corrects you, “But maybe they won’t really hang out one and one anymore though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods, “She said they ended things properly.”

“And then…?”

“And then I…I…”

“You told her how you felt and then bam, you guys are like, together now?”

“No.” Hoseok grabs his coffee and brings it to his lips. “I don’t think it’s the right time for that.” He says before taking a sip now.

“The right…are you kidding? Hoseok just—”

“My love life, not yours.” He raises his nose in the air, “Listen, it’s fine, okay? No need to worry.”

“Fine…”

“Plus, the love life I’m concerned about is yours.” Hoseok gives you a pointed look, “What’s going on with Namjoon? Is it just me or do you seem less interested lately?”

“That’s—that’s not true.” You gaze at him, confused. “Why would you say that? Things are going well with him?”

“I don’t know.” Hoseok shrugs. “Your mind seems occupied, I guess.”

“It’s not.” Your voice is sterner than you are intending. “Things are fine...seriously.”

“You kind of sound like Naomi now. No offense. Things were so fine with Jonathan too but look where that went.”

“Hey! I can hear you guys!” Naomi shouts and you and Hoseok stifle your laughter.

“Sorry!” He shouts back and you both cackle. “But really, is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine, I promise. Namjoon is amazing.” You smile now, “Seriously, I don’t even think I deserve him. He’s so kind, so mature, so cute, so sexy, fucking obviously.”

“I mean, yeah.” Hoseok laughs. “He’s a good one for sure. I hope he can make you happy though.”

“He could make anyone happy.”

“Yeah but you are a special breed, for sure.” Hoseok raises his brows at you, “He can be the most amazing human being to roam this Earth but if you aren’t feeling like, uh, I don’t know, I don’t know how to say it but even when a guy is decent you are so hard to satisfy.”

“But didn’t we establish it was because none of the guys in the past were Namjoon?”

“True.” Hoseok nods slowly, “Look, all I’m saying is I would hate it if you force yourself in the end just because this is something you fantasized. Even though you are picky as fuck…I’m glad you are because it means when you do choose someone I know they will be the best possible partner for you. Does any of that make sense?” He chuckles now, scratching the back of his neck looking a little unsure.

“It makes sense, Hobi.” You say softly, your eyes falling to the ground, “Namjoon is perfect.”

“But is he perfect for you?”

“Hey, question.” You aim for a topic change, “You aren’t going to be like weird if Jimin still hangs out with us, right?”

“Huh? I mean…”

“He’s still our friend.” You try pointing out but Hoseok only quirks a brow.

“Kind of, I guess? I mean, unless you and him have been hanging out outside of the usual times, I don’t see how any of us are close enough to him that he would want to keep hanging out?” He shrugs. “I guess he and Lucy are still cool.”

“I…” You’re hesitant, of course you are hesitant. “I’m friends with him.”

“Yeah…” Hoseok narrows his eyes, “So you have told me.”

“I like when he hangs out.”

“O…kay…?”

“He’s cool, right?” You feel yourself grow warm, your hands feeling a little clammy.

“Yeah.”

“He can be pretty funny too.”

“Okay.” Hoseok tilts his head before he breaks out into a grin, “Don’t tell me you have like a thing for him?”

“What?” You hate that your voice sounded like a chipmunk squeaking. “What the hell dude?”

“That would be fucking hilarious. Although, I got to admit you guys would make a cute couple.” He’s laughing now. Laughing at you. “But wow, imagine? Lucy did always say out of everyone you and Jimin would get along the best…who knew she was setting you two up this entire ti—”

“—It’s not like that! Oh my god.”

“I mean, I won’t lie to you. It would be great for me so then I wouldn’t have to have any worries since they’ve seen each other naked and shit but how fucked up would that be?!” He keeps laughing, “For Namjoon, I mean.”

“I’m over this conversation!” You throw your hands up, “You’re impossible!”

“It’s okay, you have the hots for Jimin, it’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.” He manages to crack himself up further and only starts laughing harder when Jeremy chimes in.

“Well, I know now too. Since I can hear everything you guys say.”

“Same.” You hear Naomi shout, “But I’m for it, y/n! Jimin is hot! But like, Namjoon is also hot…”

“I’m team Namjoon.” Jeremy mutters, eyes staying on his screen. “He’s like super put together.”

“I want to say I’m team Namjoon as well,” Naomi stands from her desk and walks closer to you all, “But since Jeremy is on that team I obviously have to do the opposite. I’m team Jimin.”

“I’m team anyone at this point.” Hoseok chuckles, “Just want to see my girl in love and happy.”

“I’m team ‘I wish you would all shut the hell up’. Anyone else on that team?” You groan, leaving Hoseok’s desk to head towards your own, “It’s not like that with Jimin, seriously.”

“Apparently they’re friends.” Hoseok says, “But they’ve barely interacted. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“You don’t think we are friends yet you are saying I have a thing for him?” You deadpan, “You realize how ridiculous you sound?”

“Thinking someone is hot—”

“I never said I thought he was hot?”

“So, you don’t think he’s hot?”

“I—”

“She would be fucking lying if she said she didn’t,” Jeremy speaks up, “I have eyes. Dude is sexy. Still team Namjoon though.”

“Now I’m curious too…” Naomi walks to your desk, “What do you think of Jimin? I’ll go first, my first impression is that he was kind of quiet, right? But pretty fucking gorgeous.”

“My first? You guys just want me to say he’s hot.” You say with a straight face, “I’m not admitting that.”

“Who’s hotter? Jimin or Namjoon…?” Naomi ponders out loud, smirking as she looks at you.

“I’m going to go with Namjoon,” Jeremy continues to stare at his screen. “My guy is a man.”

“Hmm. But wait,” Naomi starts laughing. “You can’t go after Jimin though. Lucy has already slept with him. It would be weird to share with friends type deal, right?”

“Why are you acting like y/n didn’t fuck a pair of besties? Sharing is like her forte.” Jeremy starts snickering, “Kidding, kidding.” He says quickly before you can throw something at him.

“Anyway,” Hoseok grins towards you, his usual playful glint in his eyes, “We are obviously just joking.”

“We love teasing you, y/n.” Naomi winks at you. “You make it too easy!”

“Yes, yes. We are all joking. It would be fucking wild if something was going on between you and Jimin though.” Jeremy leans back in his chair, “But it’s a joke. So chillax.”

Uh, is…is it a joke? That’s what Hoseok, Naomi and Jeremy are thinking currently as they watch you and Jimin talking closely with the other, speaking animatedly about some show you are both watching. All three of them tilt their heads to the side as you and Jimin keep talking, you both laughing and getting excited at the mention of some plot twist.

“We were joking, right?” Naomi whispers towards Hoseok, “Since when were they like…this?”

“I’m back!” Lucy chirps happily, taking a seat across from Hoseok, next to Jimin. “I hate the soap in public restrooms, they always dry my hands out.” She complains with a pout. “What we are we talking about?”

“Uh,” Hoseok clears his throat, “We’re just chillin but these two…” He gestures towards you and Jimin, who are still in your own world, discussing the possibility of a supposed dead character to return.

“Oh?” Lucy glances at you both, “Are you guys still talking about that drama?”

“Hm?” You look over at Lucy, “Oh yeah. You guys seriously need to watch it. It’s so good.”

“Yeah, it’s amazing. I usually wouldn’t be into these types. More y/n’s style but I got to admit it’s so good.” Jimin agrees quickly, reaching for his water before taking a sip. “Then again I am convinced you’re just watching it for the main guy.” He teases.

“Ah, yes. He is my type. Hot.” You giggle and Jimin rolls his eyes.

“Oh, Jimin.” You pick up your menu again, “Are you getting fries again? I’ll share my soup.”

“Yeah, I already figured you were going to want fries.” He chuckles.

Hoseok leans into Naomi’s space. “She usually bugs me to get fries…” he blinks at you both, “I don’t know if I’m happy or…just confused.”

“Yeah, this is weird. Definitely weird.” Naomi whispers.

“Oh!” you peak over your menu to look at Naomi, “What were you saying earlier? About needing a place to stay?”

“Oh, right.” Naomi straightens her posture. “Big favor. My parents and my brother and his wife and two kids are all coming to my place on Friday. But that leaves no space for…me.” She points at herself, “Me or Bacon.” She decides to clarify with a sweet smile. “Think me and the demon dog can crash at yours that day?”

“Yeah, sounds like a party.” You nod, “We should make it a girls night thing. You in, Lucy?”

“Oh, fun! Girls night!” Lucy sings, “Can we make it a pajama party?”

“Does lingerie count as pajamas? If yes, can I go too?” Jeremy shows a lopsided grin, “Will there be pillow fights?”

“You’re gross.” Naomi rolls her eyes.

“It could be a slumber party with all of us? We can invite Namjoon and Yoongi too.” You decide to say, “Could be fun. Pajamas—appropriate ones, movies, snacks, alcohol. What do you guys say?”

“Hmm. Are we going to tell scary stories? Should we bring sleeping bags and all sleep on the living room floor?” Hoseok smiles, “Play truth or dare?” he winks.

“Can I dare Jeremy to go home?” Naomi raises her hand and you all laugh.

“You guys down or what?” You finally set your menu down. “Slumber party: Middle School Edition.”

“Middle school edition?!” Hoseok chuckles, “Oh there is going to be some tongue kissing for sure!”

“You guys kissed with tongue in middle school?” You blurt, eyes wide. “Kids are scary.”

“I’m in.” Jeremy nods, an excited grin on his face. Everyone starts collectively agreeing, coming up with ideas on how to make the slumber party as middle school as it gets.

You listen to all of your friends talking loudly over the other, their genuine excitement obvious as they each try to outdo the other with ideas for the slumber party on Friday. You glance around the table, Naomi and Jeremy arguing over which horror movie will get shown first, Hoseok yelling over them that stories are enough, a movie is much too scary. Lucy starts teasing Hoseok for being a scaredy cat, giggling to herself. You and Jimin share a look, his eyes are soft on you and you can’t help but smile at him.

A slumber party with your friends, you can only imagine it will be a very fun night for you all. Jimin continues to gaze at you, a sly smile forming on his lips and you can’t help but lightly scoff. Everyone’s laughter goes around the table, including yours. Yes, it will be a fun night for you all. What you don’t expect is that it will be the night that everything goes to absolute fucking shit. Yes, hello to the consequences of your own actions.

#bts #park jimin #bts smut #jimin smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin angst #love again chapter 5

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