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#so I looked up how to make it and then ordered the tea but we ended up making pad thai immediately so the tea wasn't here yet
ellecdc · 3 days
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I come with wolfstar comfort thoughts <3
When you're sick remus is wonderful, he hates seeing you ill so he does everything he can to help: makes you tea, maybe some soup, gets you some meds and puts you on the sofa with a blanket and a pillow (sirius's chest)
Sirius on the other hand is less sure of what to do but he still wants to help so he let's remus tell him what to do, he's in charge of physical stuff like carrying you to the sofa (even if you're perfectly capable of walking) and being your human pillow while remus is busy in the kitchen, he's also tasked with moral support which mainly consists of stupid jokes and funny stories (he has many of james being a total drama queen when he got ill in the dorms)
I hope you feel better soon <3
-💫anon
poor Siri - I had a vision for this and now that it's written, I'm not sure I quite hit the mark, but let me know what you think! and thanks for your request <3
poly!wolfstar x sick!reader who they plan to nurse back to health
CW: fem!reader, cold/flu symptoms, brief passing mention of Sirius' childhood (no details), fluff
Sirius closed the door behind him and tossed his keys haphazardly into the dish that Remus insisted they go in, causing a loud clanging which echoed through the hallway. 
He realised only then how quiet the flat was in comparison which was rather unusual for this time of day as you and Remus always managed to beat Sirius home. 
Sirius felt some tension ease from his face (and body and soul) when he saw a familiar head of tawny curls over the back of the couch. 
His plans for a surprise upside-down Spiderman style kiss - to what he had assumed was a sleeping Moony having fallen asleep reading a book - was foiled when Sirius came around the top of the couch to see you - looking particularly pathetic - curled up and resting your head in Remus’ lap fast asleep. 
“Wha-?” Sirius asked dumbly, looking between Remus’ sad smile and your sleeping form - you seemed flushed and were breathing with your mouth open, likely because you couldn’t breathe from your nose.
“Hey Pads.” Remus offered quietly.
“What happened?”
Remus grimaced as he looked down at you and brushed some of your hair away from your face; you didn’t even stir. “I don’t think she ever made it to work today; I got home and found her on the couch.”
And Sirius could see that this was likely true, based on the vast amount of evidence that you’d been living on the sofa. 
You’d tried to contain your used tissues to a paper bag but there were a few stragglers from where you no doubt lacked the strength to put much effort into aiming anymore. A half empty waterbottle and a bowl of soup with a layer of film on the top sat dejectedly on the coffee table along with a packet of Benilyn with a few missing tablets.
“Poor babydoll.” Sirius cooed as he rubbed Remus’ shoulder. 
Remus turned to press a kiss to Sirius’ hand before gently lifting your head in order to stand.
“We’ll nurse her back to health in no time.”
Sirius felt his eyebrows furrowed as he watched Remus gently lower your head onto a throw pillow; still never managing to rouse you from your sleep. 
“How do we do that?” Sirius asked.
Remus hummed as he made for the kitchen and Sirius followed him much like a lost puppy. “Well she needs lots of rest, and we should try to get her to eat before we give her anything to bring down her fever; she hardly ate any of the soup she made earlier. Maybe some Chamomile too. But I want to start by bringing her fever down.” He said with finality as he started puttering in the kitchen. 
“What should I do?” Sirius asked like a child helping their parents in the kitchen; he felt worse than useless, he felt like he was in the way.
This is what happens when you don’t have a loving family; you don’t always know how to love - the verb to love, the action of loving someone. 
Sirius feels love, he knows that much. He just doesn’t always know what to do with all of that love.
Luckily for him, he had two of the loveliest partners in the world to help him on that end. 
Remus turned to smile softly at Sirius before leaning down to peck a kiss to his head. “Go change into some comfies and I’ll put you to work.”
And well, Sirius didn’t need to be told twice. 
Officially donned in his favourite pair of sweats and a long sleeve band tee, Sirius returned to find Remus knelt in front of you on the couch as he whispered. 
“I know, Dovey.” Sirius could hear Remus coo quietly as he approached. “Think you can try for me, though?”
You made a sound halfway between a groan and a sob as you pulled yourself into a seated position and accepted a cup of tea from Remus. 
“Too much honey.” You protested meekly without even taking a sip; Sirius was sure he could smell the honey from where he was standing.
“It’ll help your throat, love.” 
You groaned again but took a dutiful sip which earned you a beaming smile from Remus. 
“I feel horrid.” You croaked, and Remus - god love him - managed to not grimace at the sound; Sirius was thankful he was stationed behind the sofa where you couldn’t see him, because he was not as gracious as your other boyfriend. 
“I bet. When did you last take these?” Remus asked as he motioned towards the medication.
“It was early, I think around eleven.” 
Remus hummed in acknowledgement as he stood from his crouched position. “You should be okay to have more once you’ve got something in your stomach, then. I’ll make soup, okay? Here Pads.” He pointed towards Remus’ now vacated spot on the couch. 
Sirius offered you a sad smile as you turned to look at him. “When did you get home?” You queried.
Remus scoffed in response. “I’m surprised he didn’t wake you, sweet girl, the way he comes in and throws his shit everywhere.”
Sirius scoffed in faux offence. “I am very graceful, thank you very much.”
Whoever said laughter was the best medicine was a sodding liar, because though Sirius got what he had sort of wanted (which was to see you smile), your chuckle quickly turned into a coughing fit. 
“Alright, that’s it.” Remus chided jokingly. “Sirius, lay here please.”
Sirius dutifully followed Remus’ direction and laid back on the sofa with his head resting on the arm and his legs spread, welcoming you into his arms as Remus encouraged you to lay back down with your head resting on Sirius’ stomach. 
“Neither of you are to move until Y/N is better.” Remus ordered with severity no one truly believed. 
“I hope she never gets better then.” Sirius harrumphed as he burrowed further into the sofa beneath him and rubbed loving strokes up and down your back as you wormed your hands around Sirius’ middle. 
“That’s mean.” You pouted.
“I was just saying that to our tyrant, dolly; you get better but pretend you’re not so we can trick him into letting us stay like this forever, deal?” 
“Deal.” You agreed with a sniffling sigh, causing Sirius to tsk in sympathy. 
“My poor sweet girl, so poorly. S’breaking my heart.”
Sirius could feel the heat radiating from your forehead as you hid your face in his stomach.
“I feel a bit better now.” You barely got out without coughing. 
“Forgive me if I don’t believe you, babygirl.” Sirius said with a sad chuckle. 
“It’s true.” You insisted sleepily, turning your head again so that your cheek was pressed against Sirius as you looked up somewhat dopily at him. “It’s always better when you guys are here.” 
And you were likely a little loopy from your fever, feeling more than vulnerable in your current state, and sufficiently doted upon by both Remus and Sirius; but Sirius couldn’t help but admit you were certainly onto something.
Sirius always felt better when the two of you were around too.
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coco-loco-nut · 2 days
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pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader
summary: idek, an unedited fluffy short blurb
requests open masterlist
———————
Usually your period isn’t this bad, but your body decided to rebel against you.
“How are you feeling?” Oscar asks, handing you a mug of tea as you are curled up on the couch watching your ultimate comfort movies.
“Like shit,” you groan, ignoring the cramp you just felt.
“I can make you a warm bath, maybe light some candles,” Oscar offers, sitting beside you.
“It’s okay, there is nothing Barbie doesn’t cure. You don’t have to sit here all day with me, go ahead and do your training,” you tell Oscar, watching to watch the old Barbie movies in peace, without Oscar worrying about you. He takes your hint without being hurt about it, he’s a big boy.
Honestly, you don’t know how you ended up with Oscar, he doesn’t really look like any of the princes, and those guys are definitely your type.
When Oscar reappears a few hours later, freshly showered, he notices you scrolling on your phone, humming to the music from the movie.
“Babe, I’m going to order pizza, what do you want?” Oscar asks, opening the app on his phone.
“Hold on, I’m about to get with you,” you say, fully invested in your phone.
“What?”
“This has been the slowest burn ever, but we are finally about to get together, in like chapter 20. I hate slow burns,” you huff.
“Babe, we are already together. You married me?” Oscar says confused. You finish the last paragraph and look at him.
“It’s fan fiction, Osc. You know, on Tumblr,” you show him your phone and his eyebrows are furrowed.
“Why?” is all he can say, unsure of how to react.
“I got bored of writing,” you say, closing the app and refocusing on the movie.
“You write the fan fiction? For me?”
“Ew no. That would be weird. I write for the more popular drivers. You know, Charles, Lando, Carlos, Max, Daniel, Lewis,” you list and Oscar just stares at you. You are literally besties with Lando and Charles, but you don’t write for your own husband? He’s honestly offended.
“What do you mean ew? I think how you scream my name most nights contradicts that,” Oscar smirks, your face flaming.
“That’s why it would be weird. I’ve written it but it will never be published,” you admit, a little embarrassed.
“Anyway, pizza. Yes or no?” you quickly reply yes, hoping to move on from the conversation. That night, once you fall asleep, he scrolls through your account, reading the fan fictions you wrote and reblogged. It’s weird, but he enjoys your writing.
The subject isn’t brought up again until one drunken grid and WAG dinner, where Oscar drunkenly blurts it out.
“Y/n’s written fan fiction about us,” he says and all the guys look at you.
“The girls love it. Some of your antics make for great stories,” you defend yourself.
“So true, I love reading them,” Kika says, the other WAGs voice their agreement about it.
“What?” Charles is confused, but Lando, being the child he is, gets excited.
“Which one of us gets the most written about?” he asks and none of you waste a second replying.
“Charles,” the answer is in unison, causing the Monegasque to blush. None of you will admit that Lando is a close second.
Over the next week, you get random texts from them, asking which ones you wrote, but also their thoughts on different ones. Charles is appalled and flattered by the amount of smut written for him. Lando and Daniel are the opposite, they love the smut and how they’re talked up. They also told you that they got ideas from some of them, causing you to want to bleach your eyes out.
Eventually, they found out which account was yours, sent it to each other, and started spamming your inbox with requests. Lando’s tend to be about him winning a WDC, poor guy can barely win as is.
After a week of them spamming your inbox with requests, you decide to post an announcement on your account.
Dear readers,
Unfortunately my account has been outed. I know you all love my works and when I post some behind the scenes information about GPs. Sadly, my friends who work in an important role in F1 found my account and it no longer feels right to write this anymore out of respect for them.
Thank you all ❤️
↪️ user1 she knows a driver doesn’t she
↪️ user2 or an engineer
↪️ cl16racer don’t stop 😢
↪️ y/username sorry buddy, it’s time
↪️ oscarpastryy yeah, it’s a little weird now
↪️ landomorewins it doesn’t have to be!
“Wow, the guys are really torn up about it,” you laugh, Oscar’s arms around you as you cuddle on the couch. You had been thinking about stopping writing them anyway, so it was just a good excuse.
“I just wish you’d publish what you wrote about me,” Oscar kisses the side of your head.
“That’s far too dirty and intimate. It’s what I read when you are away,” you say with a blush. “You can read it if you want,” you hand him your phone. He holds the phone where you can both read it, his other hand running up and down your side absentmindedly at first but more intentionally the longer you read, until you aren’t reading anymore. That might’ve been some of your best sex.
“From now on, when you write like that when I’m away, you send it to me. Promise, Mrs Piastri?” Oscar says, kissing you.
“I promise,”
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soulprompts · 1 day
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"FANCY A CUPPA'?" PROMPTS.
hi hello holy moly i've been gone a while but look!!! i bring you prompts! and these are MONTHS old according to my notes app! but basically i'm two weeks and four days away from returning to my home country, and my mother sent me some tea from home, and i just got thinking about the sheer power of a cup of tea, yk? anyway! here it is! and here are my conditions! DO NOT ADD OR CHANGE THIS LIST! and also feel free to add "REVERSE" if you want to switch the rolls, i suppose!
[ COLD ]: With a notable drop in temperatures, the sender makes some tea for themself and the receiver, if not for drinking then for the warmth and comfort of holding the mugs in their chilled hands.
[ SHOCK ]: Having found a most-definitely-in-shock receiver, the sender makes a big, strong, and immensely sweet cup of tea for them in order to restore them a little bit.
[ ANOTHER ]: While preparing a cup for themself, the sender makes a second cup for the receiver in a polite and low-effort gesture towards them.
[ FIX ]: The sender, realizing the receiver is genuinely upset about something, comforts them and makes some tea in the hopes of lifting their spirits some bit.
[ WEARY ]: After a mutually extensive day, the sender and receiver return home, and the sender prepares some tea as a soothing introduction to their bedtime routine.
[ BETTER? ]: The sender, at a loss for how to approach the receiver who has clearly endured a very difficult time, decides to make some tea in an effort to console them and possibly encourage them to talk about it.
[ GUEST ]: The sender welcomes the receiver into their home with open arms and two strong mugs of tea. (There may also be food of some kind, that's for you to decide!)
[ WHY NOT? ]: The sender prepares some tea for both themself and the receiver, not out of any great need or want, but because their default setting is making tea and frankly they can't see any harm in it either way.
[ DECAF ]: The sender subtly intervenes in the receiver's sleep schedule by bringing them a cup of tea rather than a cup of coffee in the hopes that they might get some sleep that night.
[ TRY ]: The sender just received a new kind of tea, and prepares some for themself and the receiver because who better to share the experience with than the receiver?
[ COPING ]: In the aftermath of some terrible and life-changing news, the sender busies their self with preparing some tea to give themselves something to do other than think about what's just happened.
[ INSTINCT ]: Something isn't quite right with the receiver, and the sender knows it. In order to get them to open up, the sender prepares some tea.
[ REFRESHMENT ]: Someone made cookies, and what is a cookie without a cup of tea? The receiver won't need to find out; the sender is already making a cup as we speak.
[ TEA ]: The receiver has just arrived with some particularly excellent and scandalous gossip; the sender, unwilling to let the receiver's voice dry out during the revelation, prepares some tea to go with it.
[ RELAX ]: After a particularly stressful day, the sender prepares some tea so that they can finally begin to relax and unwind in the evening.
[ OLIVE BRANCH ]: The receiver is angry with the sender; the cup of tea is just the sender's cautious attempts to heal the relationship.
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blujayonthewing · 4 months
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found out boba is super easy to make at home oh god oh fuck
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undyinglantern · 2 months
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logically I don’t even think I’m doing horribly (the guy training me told the manager I was doing “pretty well” about handling a “mini-rush”) but mentally my mind keeps telling me oh he’s just lying because we keep getting out breaks at the same time and since I’m practically tailing him of course he’s say that to be nice during the only opportunity to speak to the manager. Only since I’m around and can listen in is he saying something nice.
#I keep trying to rush myself because I don’t want to make the customers wait#The first time I grabbed the popcorn myself I didn’t lift it high enough when I turned back around and knocked some onto the counter#Unless someone orders a large popcorn (which is a bucket) I feel like I’m taking too long fumbling trying to open up the bag#And then another TOO LONG scooping it in with the handle in there instead of just scooping the whole tub in there#One time I tried to rush too much and ended up lifting my hand too high and burned it on the popper#Twice actually once on my pinky knuckle and another larger spot on the other side of the back of my palm#One customer specifically I couldn’t understand and asked them to repeat like 5 times#And I could’ve SWORN they said ‘temp’ like I thought they were referring to ME as a temp or something#So I responded like ‘no I’m in training’ like a fucking idiot when it turned out they were asking for a motherfucking cup of water#Of all things.#I still keep getting confused and forgetting that hi-c and lemonade are the same drink#Instead of filling a cup with the proper fountain which is right there right text to the register oh no I turned around and went and got#Team before fixing the order and doing the right thing. And the tea machine has like 3 buttons for different flavored iced teas#So I just pressed a random one too like! Look at this idiot !!!!#Oh god and I still don’t know what’s in what drawer for refills. As in when we run out of cups for the sodas or icees or popcorn buckets#I still don’t understand how to make the popcorn. You press a button to hear it up? Wait until it beeps I think?#Then put it into the popper and let it keep popping even when it beeps again? Until it stops popping then you can pour it out? I think????#Could be completely fuckinb wrong for all I know#I work til past closing hour (cleaning. Roughly until midnight so go to bed around 1-2am) on Friday then have to be in again by 10.30am#Even if I’m lucky that will only be maybe 5 or maaaaaybe 6 hours of sleep. Ending and starting the day the same way wtf man#Why did I apply to a place that’s half an hour drive away when they only pay minimum wage#Why did I think a movie theater job would be manageable for me#Well actually that one I can answer it’s bc I thought I would be put to cleaning (sweeping theaters between shows) not customer service#It’s. Almost 5am now. I feel like my schedule has gotten even WORSE since applying here.
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bananami · 5 months
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A little couple's trivia with Nanami proves that he knows you all too well.
I did use the term wife and she/her pronouns just as a brief cw. The whole thing is just fluff. Nanami is in love with you. That's the whole things.
(I am delulu and in love with this man. Hope this helps us all heal. He is alive and well and no one can convince me otherwise. Also I love including Gojo's dumbass in everything. Also Yuji is a sweetheart and Nanami's son basically.)
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"Please?" You're practically begging your husband, who doesn't seem to be budging.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Yeah Nanamin-"
"Don't call me that." Nanami cuts Gojo off immediately.
"But Yuji calls you that!"
"That's different." He glares at the white haired man like he's trying to eviscerate him with just his eyes. "And I'm not playing some stupid game just to prove how well I know my wife." He tries to pay attention to the paperwork in front of him again, wanting to finish it before 5pm. Because there was no way he was working overtime again today.
"Scared?" Gojo baited him. "Afraid I'm gonna ask you a question that's just too hard?"
"Gojo, there is nothing you could ask me about my wife that I wouldn't be able to answer."
A few of the students sat around watching the two go back and forth, inevitably waiting for Nanami to either get so annoyed that he walked away, or to take the bait. They hoped for the latter.
"Prove it! Or you forfeit your marriage."
"That's not how that works."
"C'mon Nanamin, it's just a game." Yuji gives the blonde sorcerer a sincere smile, hoping to lighten the mood and sway his decision just a bit.
"Don't call him Nanamin, Yuji- OW." Gojo is cut off as Nanami reaches over and smacks him in the head with the papers in his hand.
"Don't tell him what to do." Nanami sighs and rubs at his temple. He looks at the clock, then at you. It's the look in your eyes that gives way to his final decision. "Fine. You have until that clock reads 5, and then I'm taking my wife and we're going home."
Gojo wastes no time. "Who is your wife's favorite person? And think before you say yourself because-"
"Itadori. Next question."
"I'm your favorite person?!" Yuji jumps from his seat, latching his arms around you for a hug. It's obvious from the way that you smile and hug him back that Nanami is probably definitely right. You had a soft spot for the kid since you met him, playfully telling everyone that you and Nanami had basically adopted him since he arrived at Jujutsu High. Nanami would probably never verbalize it, but you could tell he felt the same about the boy.
"Ok, ok. Next question." Gojo thought hard before coming up with it. "How does your wife take her coffee?"
"She doesn't drink coffee."
"Yes she does, I bring her some like every morning."
"And she gives that coffee to me because she doesn't like it."
"You're telling me I've been buying you coffee this entire time?"
"I make her tea every morning when we get to work. You hand her the coffee, we trade cups. I don't understand how you've stared right at us when we do it and you somehow haven't noticed."
"Ok, then what tea does she drink?"
"Earl Grey, three sugars, a little bit of milk at the top. She'll say she's ok with English Breakfast or Lady Earl Grey if they're out of the regular. She's not, she's just being polite. She'll drink half and throw it away when she thinks no one is looking."
Gojo groans, not having as much fun as he thought he was going to at the beginning of all of this. "And I just bet you have a contingency plan for when your wife doesn't get her tea, don't you?"
"Of course I do," he ignores the even louder groan from Gojo, "I walk across the street to the cafe that sells her favorite pastries and I buy her five because I know that she'll want to share with her students and she'll try to split one with me even if I refuse. They have teabags they leave out so long as you're ordering something. Earl Grey, always in stock."
"Adorable." Gojo rolls his eyes.
"You're so smart, Nanamin!" Yuji jumps in. "Let me ask one! What's her favorite color?"
"Yuji, that's too easy."
"Yellow."
"Ohhhh, mine too," Yuji says, "why yellow?"
"Because it's-" Nanami stops mid-sentence and looks at the clock, like it will give him an excuse. Almost. "We don't need to worry about the why, that wasn't the original question."
Gojo perks up, clearly realizing he'd struck a nerve. And he was ready to work it. The red dusting across Nanami's cheeks told him everything he needed to know. "Are you embarrassed, Nanami?"
"Shut up, Gojo."
"Or do you just not know the answer? It's ok if you don't, I guess you just don't know your wife as well as you thought you did."
"If you don't stop talking, I'm going to tell everyone about the one time in high school when you and Geto got caught in the-"
"OK!" Gojo turns back to the students and motions them toward the door. "Time to go! Don't you all have something better to do? Go be little trouble makers somewhere. Go TP Yaga's lawn or something. Get out of here."
He'd ushered everyone out except Yuji, who stayed behind to wait for you and Nanami. The boy shyly looked away as you kissed Nanami's cheek before standing up, stating you just needed to grab your bag before you could leave.
Yuji waited for you to exit the room before he asked. "Is it because of your hair?"
Nanami sighs. "What makes you think that?"
Yuji just shrugs. "She loves you. Answers don't always need a complex reason."
Nanami can't help the smile that graces his face. "You're a smart kid sometimes, you know that?"
"That's why I'm her favorite!" His goofy nature is back in an instant. "Can I come over for dinner again tonight?"
"Of course you can."
"Can I stay over?"
"If you'd like to."
"Can I pick the movie we watch?"
"Don't push your luck."
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verstappen-cult · 2 months
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I don’t know why I went full angst on this but maybe one of them totally blanks on your birthday plans so you’re just sitting at a fancy restaurant with the other one wondering where he is
I can see this where Max forgot and you and Charles finally decide to order food and when you get home he was steaming and didn’t realize what was going on
PART TWO.
You look to the front door just to see another random person walking in. Across the table, Charles tries to hold his anger inside, he tries very hard not to show how affected he also is.
“Maybe something came up.” Your boyfriend tries to smile and reassure you that everything is fine, that Max has a good excuse for not showing up.
He better have a god excuse or Charles is gonna make him sleep on the couch for the next month.
“Should we order? I’m pretty sure Max will want for us to celebrate. It’s your birthday, princess.”
You nod, not trusting your voice to speak.
It’s not the ideal celebration. Not when one of your boyfriends is not there with you and doesn’t pick up the phone. But Charles does a pretty good job of making you forget about it.
At least until dessert cames and they sing happy birthday to you.
*
“We have plenty of leftovers,” You go to the kitchen as Charles closes the front door. “You want a cup of tea, Char?”
“Don’t be a cunt! I was winning!”
You and Charles look at each other.
“Wha–”
But Charles is already sprinting up the stairs.
You follow him, heart rate through the roof, into Max’s streaming room.
And there he is. Max. Wearing sweatpants and streaming. You look at the screen that says how long he’s been there: four hours. Then, you see his phone on the floor, right next to a couple of Red Bulls.
“What the fuck, Max?!” Charles exclaims, making his boyfriend jump scared.
“Jesus Christ,” He touches his chest, just where his heart is. “Everyone’s laughing, by the way.” Max points to his headphones and then the screen where his friends, in fact, are laughing.
But you couldn’t care less about it.
“Max.” You say softly, grabbing Charles’ hand and caressing his wrist to try and calm him.
“What the actual fuck, mate.”
Charles never calls him mate.
“What?” He looks at Charles, then at you. “You look pretty good. Where did you go?” Max asks, already turning around to keep playing.
But Charles is having none of it. He walks to one side of the room, where everything is connected, and shuts everything off.
“Charles!”
Max is off his chair in a matter of seconds, looking absolutely pissed.
“Oh, you don’t get to be angry.” Charles takes two long strides, but you stand between them before he does something he will regret later. “We waited three hours! It was her birthday, you giant, fucking idiot.”
Charles throws his arms in the air before getting out of the room, leaving a speechless Max behind.
“What?”
You breathe deeply, avoiding eye contact. “You don’t even remember my birthday?”
“Of course I remember your birthday, Schatje.” He picks up his phone, seeing all the missed calls and texts. When he looks up, his eyes are filled with tears.
You can’t see properly anymore. “I think is better if you sleep in the guest room tonight, Max.”
You leave before he has time to say anything, running down the hallway and into your room. It’s only then that you let the tears flow freely down your face.
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eviebane · 5 months
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Cannot believe the plot of S2 was:
Aziraphale's old boss shows up completely naked & with amnesia, Aziraphale wants to adopt him and Crowley says No, then shoots fucking lighting and it literally becomes the Locked Door trope for the lesbian neighbours
Crowley's old boss turns up and is like Have you seen my boyfriend the Archangel. btw Heaven has a Death Note. And Crowley goes Ah shit and drives back to his husband's shop, does a little apology dance, then they casually do a miracle with enough power to raise TWENTY FIVE people from the dead in order to turn the Commander of the Heavenly Host into the Bookshop Assistant
Heaven rocks up and goes Um Aziraphale what the fuck was that about? and he panics and says Ah yes, I made the lesbians over the road fall in love because one of them gets my favourite records
Heaven sends an angel to verify his painfully bullshit story, but they have literally never been to Earth before so Aziraphale just makes them tea and Crowley's winds them up by being a little shit as usual. Then Crowley goes Hey husband can we have a lil chat and Aziraphale goes Yes darling let's shut the door in the most suggestive way possible, then joke about how I'm a terrible liar, but also I want to roadtrip darling so can I borrow our car? And Crowley's like Fucking fine I guess I'll try and get the lesbians to hook up & look after our new children
He's a great terrible house-spouse while Aziraphale larps in Scotland for a couple days, then Aziraphale decides to get the whole neighbourhood to role-play Jane Austin while still trying to make the lesbians shag
Then Crowley's replacement throws a brick through the window, yeets the dude who's been crushing on Aziraphale. So Crowley goes Alright husband stay put, I'll take these loser mortals outta here. Then he has a little spy mission in Heaven with one of his new children, while Aziraphale declares war on Hell to avoid ruining the good books via yeeting them at demons
The whole gang arrive, Aziraphale’s ex-boss and Crowley's ex-boss High School Musical their way off the face of the planet, then S2 ends.
That's it. Credits roll right here
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5sospenguinqueen · 22 days
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Post Space Tension | Charles Leclerc x McLaren! Reader
Summary: Struggling with the new frame of her relationship, Y/N decides a visit to her sister is in order. Charles realises that not having you close is even worse than you beating him.
Warnings: Swearing. Female reader. Verstappen! Reader.
I know you guys wanted angst but the doe eyes got to me.
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 4
Main Masterlist
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and others
YourUserName a lovely visit with my favourite sibling @ victoriaverstappen, and an even lovelier surprise (p.s. Max already knew so no, I'm not spoiling it for him)
5,657 comments
User 1 charles in the likes but not in the comments
maxverstappen1 stop trying to get our nephews to like you more than me
→ YourUserName they already do (even the unborn one)
maxverstappen1 also, how am i not the favourite sibling. i listen to all your boy troubles
→ User 2 boy troubles!!!
→ User 3 all??? how many boys are there 😒
landonorris can't believe you had lunch without me
→ georgerussell63 really don't help yourself, mate
lance_stroll not the burger a week before a race
→ YourUserName don't tell my trainer
→ lance_stroll too late
mclaren future papaya racer
→ maxverstappen1 no.
User 4 so, are you and charles still together? the world is dying to know if he was caught cheating or not
→ User 5 apparently they're still together but taking time apart
→ User 6 source: trust me bro
victoriaverstappen we loved seeing you but he keeps asking for uncy sha so maybe bring a visitor next time?? 🤍
liked by charles_leclerc
→ YourUserName can't believe i'm not enough :( but at least i'm introducing him to disappointment early on
→ User 7 not her sister spilling the tea
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User 8 so, does this mean LeStappen are back in the same country?
User 9 how's he going to keep his distance when they're on the same track
User 10 i feel tension brewing
User 11 anyone see arthur's latest tweet?
→ User 9 no why?
→ User 11 he posted that pic of charles and that woman but from another angle. arthur was with them that day and it looks like arthur's holding the woman's hand?
→ User 8 so charles wasn't on a date with that woman?!?! chay/n shippers rise!
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by lilymhe, alex_albon and others
YourUserName 'cause i'm back in the saddle again tagged: landonorris, danielricciardo
6,456 comments
danielricciardo alternate caption was 'me and pookies' but lando and i talked her down from that
→ landonorris you're just jealous that i'm pookie #1
landonorris 🔥🔥
redbullracing we still think you'd look better in navy
→ mclaren back, back, i say 🤺
→ scuderiaferrari please, we all know red is her colour
liked by charles_leclerc
→ User 12 we see you charles
landonorris @ redbullracing stop trying to steal my teammate
→ arthur_leclerc stop trying to steal my brother's girlfriend
(comment deleted)
→ User 13 we saw that, arthur
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skysportsf1 just posted
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liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others
skysportsf1 read the latest interview from the Verstappen twins, and how racing helped strengthen their bond
tagged: YourUserName, maxverstappen1
7,905 comments
f1 our favourite twins
YourUserName wow, we look good. thanks for having us, it was so nice to be able to hype each other up and get paid for it
maxverstappen1 can't believe they left out the part where i said i only like you because i beat you
→ YourUserName because you told them not to? stop trying to make out like you hate me so people think you're tough. everyone saw you cry when i won
danielricciardo alternate caption was 'join us as we chat with racer, y/n verstappen and her lesser-known brother, max'
→ YourUserName he threatened to sue if they used that title
→ maxverstappen1 i hate you both
lance_stroll only read for y/n
alex_albon love how they tried to make max sound good at padel
georgerussell63 does anyone know who either of these people are? it's amazing who they class as celebrities these days
User 13 living for the grid picking on them (max)
mclaren going to need these pics blown up and hung in my living room
→ charles_leclerc agreed
→ redbullracing charles is all of us
User 14 not charles trying to hide in the comments
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Part 4 will be the final part. Thank you for coming on the journey of self-indulgent fics x
Tag list: @mehrmonga @luvsforme @lemon-lav @missenclod @halleest @formula1mount @k4marina @evie-119 @letmeseeyougotowork @sleepybrokenmelle @eiaaasamantha @tinyhrry @janeholt3 @allywthsr @callsignwidow @raizelchrysanderoctavius @prudyhoo @valentinanappipage @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @delululeclerc @e-nonsense @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @thecubanator2 @butterfliesflyaroundmymind @kqliie @sweate-r-weathe-r @lifeless-firefly @woozarts @silverxxs-world @personwhoisther @eugene-emt-roe @anthonykatebridgerton @entr4p3 @carpediem241108 @forevercaffeinated-lee @youre-on-your-ownkid @xyzstar
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worldlxvlys · 3 months
Note
Can we get a Matt using a vibrator on the reader infront of his brothers and he edges her but she finishes so he takes her homes and punishes her fic plsss.
vibe
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: smuttttt, use of vibrator in public, edging, orgasm denial, p in v, creampie, overstimulation, fingering, spanking, choking, degradation
a/n: hope u like <33
i looked at myself in the mirror, smoothing out the end of my dress.
i tilted my head to the side as matt wrapped his hands around my waist, burying his nose into my neck.
“you look so good, baby” he mumbled into my skin.
“you think so?” i asked, my eyes fluttering closed as he left kisses against my skin.
“matt, we’re gonna be late to dinner” i breathed out, but tilted my head farther to give him more access.
he chuckled at this, “seeing as how i’m everyone’s ride, they can wait” he spoke as his hands crept under my dress.
he moved my underwear to the side and inserted a finger into my entrance without warning.
“fuck, matt” i moaned out.
he used his free hand to cover my mouth while his other inserted another finger into me.
“stay quiet, baby” he whispered as he continued to fuck his fingers into me.
suddenly, his fingers were removed from me just as quickly as they had been inserted.
i whined into his hand as he reached into his pocket for something.
“just needed to stretch you out, my love” he said as his fingers were replaced with a cold object.
“oh my god” i moaned as my tight hole was stretched out.
“matt what- FUCK!” i cut myself off with a moan of suprise when i felt a strong vibration in my core.
i gripped his arm as matt brought his phone into view.
“ i have full control baby” he said.
it’s a vibrator that he can control on his phone.
fuck.
suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door, followed by nick’s voice.
“can you guys hurry up? we’re hungry!”
deciding to tease me, matt suddenly switched the vibrator to the highest setting possible.
my body lurched forward as i brought my hand to my mouth, biting it.
i tried my hardest to suppress my moans as my entire body shook.
this shit is powerful.
“sorry, what was that nick?” matt yelled back, purposely stalling so nick would stay by the door longer.
matt smirked at me, watching me struggle to contain myself.
“just give us a few” i screamed out, willing nick to walk away.
“ok, chop chop!” he yelled back, before his footsteps retreated.
“well this is gonna be fun” matt spoke smugly, before turning the vibrator off.
“hurry up, baby. we’ve made them wait long enough” he raised his eyebrows tauntingly.
this sick fuck.
i just narrowed my eyes at him as i attempted to collect myself.
--
we were now sat at a booth in a local restaurant, matt and i seated next to each other and across from nick and chris.
matt hadn’t touched the controller for the vibrator since we left his room, and i honestly had forgotten about it completely.
we all looked over our menus, deciding what we wanted before the waitress came over.
as soon as it was my turn to order, i felt the low vibration inside of me.
i shakily inhaled, attempting to keep it together.
as soon as i opened my mouth to speak, however, the vibration intensified.
“can i” i cleared my throat, “ i-i have an iced tea?”
the waitress looked at me oddly, but nodded, nonetheless.
after i struggled through the rest of my order, the waitress collected the menus and walked away.
chris immediately spoke up, “you ok? you seem…off”
“yeah!” i blurted out, rather loudly.
his eyes widened at my sudden outburst, but he decided not to question it, “…ok” he replied.
i swallowed harshly as matt placed his hand on my thigh, making my dress ride up slightly.
i glared up at him as he looked at me with an evil glint in his eye.
he leaned closer to my ear and whispered, “ i promise if you cum, you’ll regret it. be a good girl and hold it. nod if you understand.”
i nodded lightly, and he immediately turned it up to full power.
i immediately gripped onto the edge of the table as my hips jerked forward under the table.
thankfully, chris and nick were too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice my reaction.
my underwear was drenched in my arousal and i bit my lip to stop myself from screaming out.
waves of pleasure shot throughout my entire body and i closed my eyes to hide the fact that they were rolling into the back of my head.
matt’s hand found its way under my dress and his fingers rubbed my clit through my panties.
“seems like you’re close, ma. you better not cum” he whispered as my body began to shake.
i quickly tapped my leg against the ground, making it look like i was shaking due to my leg bouncing up and down, rather than my boyfriend fucking me with a vibrator under the table.
“matt” i moaned under my breath, only loud enough for him to hear.
i was on the brink of an orgasm, when matt turned the vibrator off.
“fuck” i shakily sighed out.
“you ok?” nick asked, catching my sigh of disappointment.
“yeah, my head is just killing me” i answered, before turning to matt.
he looked at me innocently, as though he hadn’t just ruined my orgasm.
“you probably just need some food is all” he smiled before leaving a kiss to my forehead.
the majority of the dinner went like this, up until the food arrived.
matt teased me relentlessly, building up my pleasure and taking it away just before i got the chance to release.
each time, he waited longer and longer to halt the vibrations, trying to see how long i could hold out before breaking.
by this point, i didn’t care about anything other than finishing, i had completely lost my appetite for food. i was hungry for something else entirely.
once our food was placed in front of us, matt turned the vibrator onto the highest setting.
i placed my hand on his thigh, squeezing with all of my might.
tears pricked at the corner of my eyes as the toy pulsated against my sensitive walls, but i quickly blinked them away as i reached for my fork.
what i failed to realize, however, was that i wouldn’t be able to keep my fork steady due to the amount of shaking i was doing.
this caught the attention of both nick and chris.
“hey, are you sure you’re ok? you’re literally shaking” nick spoke up.
“o-oh, yeah. i think i’m just kinda anxious y-you know? lots of people in here” i spoke as a shiver ran down my spine at the intense amount of pleasure i was receiving, “plus, i’m just really hungry” i finished as i shoveled food into my mouth.
matt quickly threw his arm around me, rubbing my arm gently, “hey, it’s ok baby. i’m right here” he pretended to coax me, knowing damn well what the real problem was.
his hand moved to my back, before creeping its way down to my ass.
he gave it a squeeze, and i hid my face into his neck.
“don’t fucking do it” he whispered, knowing i was close.
“matt, i c-can’t hold it” i whispered into his ear.
“you can and you will” he whispered back.
my mouth hung open and my eyes rolled back as i dug my nails into his arm.
i tried not to give any indications of my incoming orgasm, but he knew my body too well to be fooled.
i gently bit the skin of his neck as i felt my juices leak out of me and into my panties.
my body continued to shake lightly against him as the powerful vibrations shot through my oversensitive pussy.
“did you just cum?” he asked in a chillingly low voice.
i lowly whimpered against his neck, not being able to form words as the effects of my orgasm still took over my body.
he gently pulled away from me and turned the vibrator off, and went back to eating his food.
for the rest of the dinner, he didn’t say a word to me, unless it had something to do with the conversation he held with his brothers.
when we got back home, we bid his brothers good night and he took me to his room without a single word.
once we got to his room, he closed and locked the door behind us.
“matt?” i asked as he pulled his shirt off.
“take off your clothes, right now” he spoke firmly, as he did the same to himself.
i quickly followed suit, until i was bare in front of him.
“what the fuck did i tell you in that restaurant?” he spoke as he turned me around, making me face away from him.
he ran his hand along my ass before giving it a firm slap.
i moaned out in surprise, “not to cum!” i spoke in response.
“oh, so you did hear me? you just didn’t feel like listening, huh?”
another slap.
“answer me.” he spoke before slapping me again.
“i’m sorry, i just couldn’t hold it” i whispered out.
he smacked my ass again, “speak up”
“i couldn’t hold it! i’m sorry, matt!” i yelled. at this point, i didn’t really care if his brothers heard me.
“hmm, you just wanna cum so badly, huh? ok. you wanna act like a cumslut? i’ll make you one”
i moaned at the thought of that.
“yeah? you like that? of course you do. my dirty girl” he pushed me onto the bed, making me land on my stomach.
“you gonna make me cum yourself or did you need the vibrator again?” i asked, testing his limits.
i shouldn’t have done that.
bang, bang, bang.
his headboard repeatedly slammed against his wall, his thrusts were sharp and hard.
my mouth hung open, spit dribbling out as he pounded into me from behind.
i lost count of the amount of times he had made me cum on his dick.
“you’re awfully quiet, ma. what’s wrong? did i fuck you speechless?” he asked as he slapped my ass.
he pulled out for a second, before turning me onto my back.
without missing a beat, he entered me again, making my back arch off of the bed.
“wanna see the face you make when i fuck every thought out of your brain”
my eyes were crossed at this point, makeup smudged, and my mouth stuck in an o-shape.
“look at you, you’re fucking ruined”
he slapped my tits, making my face scrunch up in pleasure.
his tatted arm reached up, and his hand wrapped around my throat.
“can a vibrator make you feel like this?” he growled out.
“no! no, only you matt!”
“you sure? cause if you want, i can stop. we’ll let your vibrator finish the job” he taunted.
“mmmmmm, no! i mean yes, i’m sure! i’m sure matt, oh my god” i babbled, as i dug my nails into his back.
“matt, i’m so close”
“yeah? me too, baby. c’mon, want you to cream all over my cock” he groaned.
i looked between us where our bodies met, the sight of his pleasure from the previous rounds being pushed into me sending me over the edge.
“fuck, fuck, fuck!” i screamed at the top of my lungs as i released on his dick, matt following right behind me.
he rode out our highs for a few seconds longer and pulled out of me.
my body laid limp as i attempted to regain my breathing.
“you ok?” matt asked me, placing a kiss on my forehead.
“fuck yes. are you ?” i asked in response.
“yeah” he breathed out with a smile on his face.
“let’s get you cleaned up” he said as he grabbed a clean washcloth from his bathroom.
while he cleaned us up, he whispered soft praises into my ear, reassuring me how good i was for him.
when he finished, he threw the dirty cloth into his hamper.
he gave me a shirt to wear and pulled on his boxers and a pair of sweats.
“i’ll be back, just gonna go grab some waters for us” he spoke gently, leaving a kiss on my cheek before exiting his room.
i checked my phone, seeing several missed messages.
nick <33
get that dick sisss
wait that’s literally my brother wtf
you two sick fucks are actually disgusting
chris <33
i hate you both
you’re so fucking loud
and the shaking at the dinner table ? you are some freaky fuckers
🌸🌸🌸🌸
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @vib3swithanuk @sturnsdior @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @annelisseakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @abbie13sworld @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @lolll1029
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satormi · 2 months
Text
— JJK MEN WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP !
a/n: reupload from my old blog. jeehjajs i need them so badly.
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NANAMI knows you’re not asleep. if there’s one thing you know most about nanami, it’s how light of a sleeper he is. that’s why, even though you’re struggling to fall asleep, you try not to twist and turn around the sheets, though that fails. it’s only when you hear him clear his throat (even though he did it on purpose just to let you know that he was awake), you decide to gently tap his shoulder. he responds immediately, shifting to his side so he can face you. “yes, baby? what’s up?” he asks, raspy voice and all. although it’s 2 am, you can perfectly make out nanami’s beautiful face with the help of the moon light, via the sheer curtains in the room. you find yourself getting lost in his beauty and it’s not until he gently grabs your hands and intertwines it with his that you finally get the courage, (or at least attempt to), speak to him about your restlessness. but he understands – he always does. “i’m not feeling that tired either,” he winks, “let me make us some tea and talk.” you want to tell him that you know he’s completely exhausted, but he’s already pushing the both of you out of bed and to the kitchen. you figured that he may not mind staying up for a bit more.
it’s not until you tap TOJI’s shoulder for the fifth time that he blinks and slowly comes to his senses. poor guy, he can hear your mumbles but he isn’t fully able to process what’s going on because of how drowsy he is. at this point, you’re staring at him with teary eyes and all toji can do is deadpan, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. “i told ya not to read the ending of that book this late y’know. if ya read it earlier, y’could’ve had more time to recover. ” he grunts. you sniff once and nod your head and all toji can do is roll his eyes as he brings you into a tight embrace. he can act irritated all he wants, but he finds it so entertaining that the book he recommended you to read really took this much of a toll on you. he read it on a business trip and thought you’d really enjoy it. boy was he wrong. “they didn’t end up being together, toji.” you wail, arms wrapping around his torso even tighter. “i know, baby. i know.” he sighs, planting a kiss on your forehead when you sniffle again. “toji, we can never break up. if i couldn’t handle the book’s break up, i won’t handle ours.” and he only chuckles, because honestly, why is this book putting thoughts like these in your head? it’s fiction, toji thinks, but then again, it’s you we’re talking about. “ya can’t get rid of me, ‘m in it for the long run, babe.”
if you can’t go to sleep, SATORU will definitely try to help or (for lack of better words) force you to go to sleep. when he feels you shuffling around, he’ll grunt before placing his body on top of yours, hugging you tightly before mumbling “sleep” in your hair. “i’ll try if you get off of me. you’re crushing me to death!” you say and he contemplates for a few seconds, but ultimately decides that you’re a really comfortable body pillow. from how he’s laying, he can feel your heart beating and your soft, steady breaths and it makes him wonder why he never thought of using you as a mattress before. “promise?” even though you nod your head, satoru can feel your smile on his collarbone which easily gives away that you’re not telling the truth. regardless, satoru still rolls off to the side and stares at the ceiling with you. “what’s bothering you,” he almost whispers, it’s soft and genuine and that alone is enough to make your heart throb at 2 am. it’s also really funny seeing his concerned look right now because he doesn’t know he’s overanalyzing the whole situation. you see, you didn’t eat dinner tonight. satoru ordered you takeout on his way home because he assumed you’d be hungry, but you weren’t, so you let him have yours.what you failed to realize though, is how hungry you’d be and now you’re facing the consequences. you finally sigh and turn your body so you’re face to face with him on the bed. “‘toru,” you bite back the laugh that wants to come out because of how serious satoru looks right now. you figured that you should tell him straight up to ease his mind of any possible negative thoughts he could be thinking. “i’m really hungry.” and gojo sighs, (you can’t tell if it’s of relief or disappointment so you choose the latter), and props his head up so his elbows are supporting him. “i am too.” “you ate your takeout and mine.” you mirror satoru’s actions, propping your elbow to get a better look at his face and he blinks at you twice. you can’t tell if he’s lying or not. “do you want food or not?” with that, you roll off the bed before stating, “i’ll get the car keys!”
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augustinewrites · 7 months
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“you’re an idiot.”
“really, doc? you’re gonna insult me after i came all this way to see you?”
you pause what you’re doing to stare down at wriothesley with a wholly unimpressed look. “you were wheeled in on a stretcher.”
(he’d even come in shirtless, one hand resting behind his head all laid out like a fontanian model in a clothing campaign.)
he dismisses the fact with a wave of his good hand, tsking. “only because sigewinne threatened to tranq me if i didn’t get on!”
you know for a fact that the head nurse is still stationed outside the infirmary in case his grace tries to leave without staying for overnight observation.
“she should have done it anyway,” you hum, taking his wrist and using it to carefully position his arm at his side. you nod at the nurse across from you holding the band to keep him steady. “deep breath now, your grace.”
wriothesley draws a breath and releases it quickly, grinning up at you. “so, what are you— fuck!”
“get him a sling,” you instruct, stifling a laugh as you let go of his arm and step back. “i’ll get him an ice pack.”
the two of you move around the infirmary, quickly gathering supplies as the duke lets loose a string of expletives that would make sigewinne faint.
it’s quite entertaining to see the duke pout, holding a heart-patterned ice pack to his shoulder. “i think i deserve a kiss for that.”
“a kiss is going to help with shoulder pain?”
“duh.”
this time, you don’t stifle your laughter as he closes his eyes and puckers his lips.
you pull a sticker from your pocket, pressing it to his waiting lips. “you were a very brave boy.”
his pucker turns into a pout as he uses his good hand to take the sticker off, sticking it to his discarded gauntlets. he looks more like a puppy than a wolf in this state.
with the worst of it out of the way, you begin tending to any scrapes or bruises.
it should be simple, but wriothesley doesn’t make it easy. he flexes playfully whenever your fingertips brush his biceps. insists on holding your hand when the antiseptic touches his wounds.
“okay, you’re all done,” you tell him, peeling off your gloves and tossing them into the bin. “but you will have to stay overnight so we can monitor you for any concussion symptoms.”
his brows raise as he clicks his tongue, smirking. “oh? are you asking me on a date?”
“no,” you say, tucking your clipboard under your arm. “i’m doing my due diligence as your physician.”
“but it’ll just be me and you and this very romantic lighting…”
“it’s dim light because someone keeps forgetting to put in the order for new ones.”
“they’re dim? hm, i didn’t notice. how could i when your smile lights up the room?”
you roll your eyes when he winks, but can’t help the heat you feel spreading across your face. “if you keep this up, i’ll have sigewinne and her tranquilizer gun stay overnight with you instead.”
“if i stop and you stay, will you at least have tea with me?” he asks, a hopeful glimmer in his eye.
“fine, i’ll stay. but only if i get to pick the tea,” you tell him, pulling a chair to the side of his bed and shedding your lab coat to get comfortable. “you’re especially insufferable when you’re injured, aren’t you?”
he reaches out and pulls the chair closer, so you’re sitting between his knees. “and yet, you’re finally succumbing to the temptation of my rock hard abs and winning personality.”
“no,” you deny, but you’d be lying if you said being this close to his spectacularly toned torso wasn’t doing…things to you. “it’s because you have liyue imported tea.”
“yeah,” he says, flashing you a charming, sinful smile that makes the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, threatening to shatter your resolve. “if you say so.”
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aziraphale-rights · 10 months
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So, what is the deal with the world’s most conspicuously uneaten Eccles cakes? (A meta)
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Well, I wouldn’t say it’s bad writing, not even the on-purpose-as-a-secret-message kind. I agree there is a visual ‘loose thread’ here that the creators wanted us to notice, but I don’t think the meaning has anything to do with Metatron or the eventual plan for S3. I think the eccles cakes are all about what’s going on in this episode with Crowley and Aziraphale, and they’re unsettling in exactly the way they’re meant to be, even if we might not register the full implications consciously on first watch.
On the most straightforward level, this shot is the punchline to a joke set up by Aziraphale and Nina in the coffee shop. Crowley orders six shots of espresso, bound to get him all worked up and stressy. Aziraphale, who desperately wants Crowley to be thinking clearly when he learns about the Gabriel situation, says to Nina: ‘What do you sell that calms people down?’ And she replies: ‘Eccles cakes.’ From this moment on the cakes are a visual symbol of what Aziraphale needs from Crowley right now.
That’s why they get so much screentime as we cross the road and go into the shop. Aziraphale won't leave those eccles cakes behind because he’s still hoping that Crowley will respond to the request they represent: Please stay calm, please be patient and listen to me with empathy.
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But Crowley never does respond, and as he storms out we get that close-focus shot of the abandoned plate to make sure the subtext hits home. The cakes are framed sitting in front of the horse statue, brilliantly dressed up in Crowley's sunglasses, to remind us that they were brought there for him and he's dismissing them. (Crowley is the frantic horse who can't be managed!)
There’s another level to it, though, which doesn’t fully become clear until episode 6. The episode 1 meeting in Nina’s café is the first time that Aziraphale and Crowley share a scene in the present-day in S2, which means that the last time we saw them together was when they were dining at the Ritz. As viewers, we quickly recognise the visual language of their partnership: a table for two, a drink, a dessert. It feels familiar. But the food gets delivered and then nobody eats it. On that level, it is a set-up without a pay-off and it really niggles as you watch. S1 closed out their relationship with a happy toast after a resplendent dinner; S2 opens it with a snack that gets ignored. The dynamics of who offers food to whom are also off, atypical. It’s a sign of how things are going to go later on, hinting at the fact their dynamic is dysfunctional right now, even though it might seem OK on the surface.
Which brings me, finally, on to the other thing I’ve wanted to point out…
The punchline is that Crowley doesn’t eat the eccles cakes, but the really subconsciously disconcerting thing is that Aziraphale doesn’t. That he seemingly never planned to, and never orders anything for himself. In fact, we don’t see Aziraphale eat anything substantial in any of the present-day scenes in S2. The only things he consumes onscreen are sherry, tea, and a travel sweet. (Oh, and Manipulation Coffee, which is definitely a callback to Crowley’s disastrous sextuple-espresso.) We see him with food, yes, but primarily he wants to give it to other people.
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For me this little detail of S2 – not something you even fully notice until you think about it – is a very telling understated cue in terms of Aziraphale’s post-Heaven state of mind. It's about what amuseoffyre puts so well in another meta: 'the whole series looks like he’s having so much fun doing silly human things, but there’s this brittleness to it.' At first glance, we see Aziraphale interacting with food and assume he is now living the happy Earthly life we wanted for him, but on closer inspection he's not engaging much in the pleasure of eating for his own sake. He gets a quick sweet pick-me-up on his way somewhere else in the Bentley - all alone - and that's it. He's too anxious, too busy, he doesn't have time. Crowley doesn't have time to invite him for lunch.
I find it fascinating that Gabriel gets a squillion cups of cocoa in this season, waxing all lyrical about them, and Aziraphale gets none. Aziraphale's mug becomes Jim's mug, even. And he mostly makes the tea to show Muriel how to blend in. In short, S2 Aziraphale is terribly preoccupied with looking after/managing others, and not taking the time to look after himself. Like the Maggie and Nina match-making, all that kindly treat-offering is displacement, displacement, displacement.
No wonder it all goes wrong.
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santacoppelia · 9 months
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Putting the Meta in "Metatron"
(couldn't resist the pun, sorry)
Ok, this has been tickling my brain for a while. I've been thinking about how The Metatron designed his role and discourse specifically to manipulate Aziraphale into the end result we saw in the last minutes of S2. I become obsessed with it because… well, I'm a bit obsessive, but also because there were many really smart writing decisions that I loved (even when I despise The Metatron exactly for the same reasons. Hate the character, love the writer). If you haven't watched Good Omens Season 2, this is the moment to stop reading. Come back later!
We already know that in Book Omens, the role of Gabriel in the ending was occupied by The Metatron. Of course, the series introduced us to Gabriel and we won a lot by that, but I feel that the origins of The Metatron should be considered for any of this. He is not a "sweet old man": he was the one in charge of seeing over the operation of Armageddon; not just a stickler of rules, but the main promoter for it.
However, when he appears in the series finale, we first are primed to almost pass him by. He is in the line for buying coffee, using clothes that are:
obviously not tailored (almost ill fitted)
in dark tones
looking worn and wrinkled
This seems so important to me! All the angels we have seen are so proud of their aspect, wear clear (white or off white) clothes, pressed, impeccable (even Muriel), even when they visit the Earth (which we have already seen on S1 with all the visits to the bookshop). The Metatron chose a worn, comfortable attire, instead. This is a humanized look, something that fools all the angels but which would warm up someone very specific, can you guess?
After making quite a complicated coffee order (with sort of an affable and nervous energy), he makes a question that Crowley had already primed for us when asking Nina about the name of the coffee: having a "predictable" alternative and an unpredictable one.
This creates an interesting parallel with the next scene: Michael is discussing the possibility of erasing Aziraphale from The Book of Life (a punishment even worse than Holy Water on demons, because not having existed at all, EVER is definitely worse than having existed and ceased to exist at some point) when The Metatron arrives, interrupts the moment and signals having brought coffee. Yup, an amicable gesture, but also a "not death" offering that he shows clearly to everyone (even when Michael or Uriel do not understand or care for it. It wasn't meant for them). He even dismisses what Michael was saying as "utter balderdash" and a "complete piffle", which are the kind of outdated terms we have heard Aziraphale use commonly. So, The Metatron has put up this show for a specific audience of one.
The next moment on the script has Metatron asking Crowley for the clarification of his identity. Up to this moment, every angel has been ignoring the sprawled demon in the corner while discussing how to punish Aziraphale… But The Metatron defers to the most unlikely person in the room, and the only one who will push any buttons on Aziraphale: Crowley. After that, Aziraphale can recognize him, and Metatron dismisses the "bad angels" (using Aziraphale's S1 epithet) with another "catchy old phrase", "spit spot", while keeping Muriel at the back and implying that there is a possibility to "check after" if those "bad angels" have done anything wrong.
Up to this moment, he has played it perfectly. The only moment when he loses it is when he calls Muriel "the dim one", which she ignores… probably because that's the usual way they get talked to in Heaven. I'm not sure if Aziraphale or Crowley cared for that small interaction, but it is there for us (the audience) to notice it: the sympathy the character might elicit is built and sought, but he is not that nice.
After that, comes "the chinwag" and the offer of the coffee: the unnecessarily complicated order. It is not Aziraphale's cup of tea (literally), but it is so specific that it creates some semblance of being thought with care, and has a "hefty jigger" of syrup (again with the funny old words). And, as Aziraphale recognizes, it is "very nice!" (as The Metatron "jolly hoped so"), and The Metatron approves of him drinking it by admitting he has "ingested things in my time, you know?". This interaction is absolutely designed to build a bridge of understanding. The Metatron probably knew that the first response he would get was a "no", so he tailored his connection specifically to "mirror" Aziraphale: love of tasty human treats he has also consumed, funny old words like the ones he loves, a very human, worn, well-loved look. That was the bait for "the stroll": the moment when Aziraphale and Crowley get separated, because The Metatron knew that being close to Crowley, Aziraphale would have an hypervigilant soundboard to check the sense of what he was going to get offered. That's what the nasty look The Metatron gives to Crowley while leaving the bookshop builds (and it gets pinpointed by the music, if you were about to miss it).
The next thing we listen from The Metatron is "You don't have to answer immediately, take all the time you need" in such a friendly manner… we can see Aziraphale doubting a little, and then comes the suggestion: "go and tell your friend the good news!". This sounds like encouragement, but is "the reel". He already knows how Crowley would react, and is expecting it (we can infer it by his final reaction after going back for Aziraphale after the break up, but let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we?). He even can work up Muriel to take care of the bookshop while waiting for the catch.
What did he planted in Aziraphale's mind? Well, let's listen to the story he has to tell:
"I don't think he's as bad a fellow… I might have misjudged him!" — not strange in Aziraphale to have such a generous spirit while judging people. He's in a… partnership? relationship? somethingship? with a demon! So maybe first impressions aren't that reliable anyway. The Metatron made an excellent job with this, too.
"Michael was not the obvious candidate, it was me!" — This idea is interesting. Michael has been the stickler, the rule follower, even the snitch. They have been rewarded and recognized by that. Putting Aziraphale before Michael in the line of succession is a way of recognizing not only him, but his system of values, which has always been at odds with the main archangels (even when it was never an open fight).
"Leader, honest, don't tell people what they want to hear" — All these are generic compliments. The Metatron hasn't been that aware of Aziraphale, but are in line with what would have been said of any "rebel leader". They come into context with the next phrase.
"That's why Gabriel came to you, I imagine…" — I'm pretty sure The Metatron didn't imagine this, ha. He is probably imagining that the "institutional problem" is coalescing behind his back, and trying to keep friends close, but enemies closer… while dividing and conquering. If Gabriel rebelled, and then went searching for Aziraphale (and Crowley, they are and item and he knows it), that might mean a true risk for his status quo and future plans.
Heaven has great plans and important projects for you — this is to sweeten the pot: the hefty jigger of almond syrup. You will be able to make changes! You can make a difference from the inside! Working for an old man who feels strangely familiar! And who recognizes your point of view! That sounds like the best job offer of the world, really.
Those, however, are not the main messages (they are still building good will with Aziraphale); they are thought out to build the last, and more important one:
Heaven is well aware of your "de facto partnership" with Crowley…
It would be considered irregular if you wanted to work with him again…
You, and you alone, can bring him to Heaven and restore his full angelic status, so you could keep working together (in very important projects).
Here is the catch. He brought the coffee so he could "offer him coffee", but the implications are quite clear: if you want to continue having a partnership with Crowley, you two must come to Heaven. Anything else would be considered irregular, put them in a worst risk, and maybe, just maybe, make them "institutional enemies". Heaven is more efficient chasing enemies, and they have The Book of Life as a menace.
We already know how scared Aziraphale has always been about upsetting Heaven, but he has learned to "disconnect" from it through the usual "they don't notice". The Metatron came to tell him "I did notice, and it has come back to bite you". The implied counterpart to the offer is "you can always get death". Or even worse, nonexistence (we have already imagined the angst of having one of them condemned to that fate, haven't we?)
When The Metatron arrives, just after seeing Crowley leave the bookshop, distraught, he casually asks "How did he take it?", but he already knows. That was his plan all along: making them break up with an offer Aziraphale could not refuse, but Crowley could not accept. That's why he even takes the license to slightly badmouth Crowley: "Always did want to go his own way, always asking damn fool questions, too". He also arrive with the solution to the only objection Aziraphale would have: Muriel, the happy innocent angel that he received with so much warmth and kindness, is given the opportunity to stay on Earth, taking care of the bookshop. The only thing he would have liked to take with him is not a thing, and has become impossible.
If God is playing poker in a dark room and always smiling, The Metatron is playing chess, and he is quite good at it (that's why he loves everything to be predictable). He is menacing our pieces, and broke our hearts in the process… But I'm pretty sure he is underestimating his opponents. His awful remark of Muriel being "dim"; saying that Crowley "asks damn fool questions", and even believing that Aziraphale is just a softie that can be played like a pipe… That's why telling him the project is "The Second Coming" was an absolute gift for us as an audience, and it prefigures the downfall that is coming — the one Aziraphale, now with nothing to lose, started cooking in his head during that elevator ride (those couple of minutes that Michael Sheen gifted to all of us: the shock, the pain, the fury, and that grin in the end, with the eyes in a completely different emotion). Remember that Aziraphale is intelligent, but also fierce. Guildernstern commited a similar mistake in Hamlet, and it didn't go well:
"Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me, you would seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass, and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me."
I'm so excited to learn how this is going to unfold!! Because our heroes have always been very enthusiastic at creating plans together, failed miserably at executing them, and even then succeeding… But now they are apart, more frustrated and the stakes are even higher. Excellent scenario for a third act!
*exits, pursued by a bear*
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luveline · 6 months
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Helllloooo :) if at all possible, could I request a fic for when stripper!reader realizes that Spencer actually like-likes her? Maybe he finally makes a real move or plans a “fancy” date to show her how much she means to him? She definitely wouldn’t believe him at first/think she deserves it, but if it could be a happy ending, I’d appreciate it so much. 🥺🥺
🐈‍⬛ thank youuuu
ty for requesting <3 fem
He smells like coffee. 
"Hi!" you say, bending under the weight of his hug. 
"What are you," —he drags his face against your cheek— "doing here, I thought you were," —his hand cups your neck as he pulls away— "going to Moira's for the weekend?" 
"You sound so happy," you say, nonplussed. 
"Yeah I'm happy. Do you wanna stay over? We can go to the movies, or we can get takeout, we can do both." Spencer beams at you. "Sorry, I'm– I'm rushing. I'm just happy. Is everything okay? What happened to house sitting?" 
"Oh, nothing, she missed her flight," you say. "Can I come in?" 
Spencer ushers you inside. His apartment is cleaner than usual. He's actually had time to clean, it seems, the faint scent of disinfectant alive in the kitchen and fresh laundry folded on the table behind the couch. He follows your eyes. "I did the stuff you left, last time. But I ended up with like, three pairs of your socks? How did that happen?" 
"You didn't have to." 
"Why wouldn't I?" He goes to walk off but stops, twisting around to give you another hug from the side. "Tea?" 
Your face feels hot. "Yes, please." 
Spencer takes to the kitchen to make tea, one of your shared routines. He grabs the kettle from the cabinet, two mugs, and two teabags. You don't know why you stay in the living room as he fills the kettle. He's putting it on the stove when he says, "Oh, hey, I got you, uh– you liked my soap, right? The chamomile? So I got you some. It's in my room, and I got you some of your chocolates from Leaven." 
"You did?" 
You fail to hide your excitement. Spencer waves you away without looking. "They're with the soap."  
You laugh to yourself, leaning down to pull your sneakers off of your heels. You leave them by the couch and slip over the hardwood into his room, where your promised soap and chocolate sit on one of his desks. He calls them your chocolates, but you only ever tried them because he saw you looking at them one time and bought them as a surprise. You've been hooked on them ever since. 
You're thinking about what joke you can make to hear him laugh. Something on the nose about him ruining your future career aspirations or a flirty nothing, maybe. You just want me to fall out of shape so I can't work. 
The suitcase on the bed distracts you. Open, half packed. 
"Are you going somewhere?" you ask him, chocolates and soap held loosely to your stomach. 
Spencer takes the kettle off of the heat, bringing it to the two mugs to top them one at a time. "What?" 
"Your suitcase?" 
His shoulders tighten just so. "Well, there's this convention happening but I hate driving in the dark, so I figured I'd stay up there." 
"When, tonight?" 
"Yeah." He picks up the mugs and shoots you a smile. "But obviously I'm not going now." 
Obviously? Spencer rounds the side of the couch to sit down, murmuring for you to come and sit with him. You follow his order without question, setting yourself on the couch cushion beside him, and find there's little resistance in you to leave space between your thighs. He leans into you as soon as he's able and hands you your mug. 
There's something in his eyes. A warmth. A real affection. "I'd definitely rather be with you here than without you there. Even if there's a guest speaker who's actually managed to split shared arteries between conjoined twins while they're still in the womb." 
"You're interested in that stuff?" 
"Just for fun." He doesn't drink his tea. He probably didn't want any, a coffee mug already on the table, but he always makes two cups. You think it might be so you don't feel like you're an imposition. He's that special brand of thoughtful. 
"Can I ask you something?" you ask, your heartbeat a tangible thump under your skin. It's a silly question guided by a stupid thought, but you have to ask. You've always wanted to see other people's hands, so to speak, uncomfortable with the unknown. 
"Anything." 
You've exposed the most private parts of you and still it's hard to be vulnerable. It's easier knowing you're with Spencer, but not easy. "Do you like me?" 
Spencer doesn't do either of you the disservice of pretending he doesn't know what you mean. His voice is measured but shyness creeps in, an almost questioning lilt to his words as he says, "Well, yeah. I thought you already knew that." 
"I thought you… appreciated the aesthetic of me." 
"I do." He looks at your forehead rather than your eyes. "You know you're pretty, and your dancing, it's– it's pretty too. I think you're beautiful, but that's really not the only thing about you. You've been remarkably easy to fall for." 
His cheeks are suddenly red. A blotchy staining under his cheekbones and up over the bridge of his nose. He wouldn't lie, but the blush cements that he's telling the truth. Spencer really, truly likes you, enough to buy you the gifts that sit in your lap and to cancel trips. He'd rather stay home with you and drink tea on the couch than be anywhere else. 
"Spence, if you think it was easy for you, you have no idea what it's been like for me," you say quietly. That draws his eyeline back to your face. You smile at him gently. "No idea." 
He puts his mug down on the table to hug you. "Careful of your tea," he says, his smile audible.
You hug his arm to your chest with one hand. When he kisses the side of your head, you're pleasantly shocked. 
"I didn't realise," you say. "Sorry, Spence, I never–" Never thought you'd like me like that. "I didn't know." 
"I was just waiting for you to catch up." 
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sweetiecutie · 2 years
Text
Dating Tom Marvolo Riddle
Warnings: NSFW, possessiveness, toxicity
A/n: sorry for the long absence babes! I’m in my depressive episode again, but I finally managed to finish those hc’s, they’ve been in my drafts for ages🙄. Anyways, hope you’ll enjoy it💖
Even though Tom never expresses his attraction toward you verbally, you can still see just how much you mean to him through his actions. His love is all about the small gestures like fixing the askew collar of your shirt, sharing his notes if you have difficulties in some classes, making sure that you eat enough etc.
You’re the only one who can actually touch him. Of course, teachers, especially Slughorn, often give Tom encouraging pats on the back or shoulder, but only you are allowed to touch his skin. To play with neat waves of his dark hair, brush your fingertips against Tom’s cheekbones in endearment, interlock your fingers while walking down school halls together. Only you
Tom is very possessive, not only with treasured magical objects, but also with you. He wants everyone to know that you are his, his and his only. Most of the time one of his hands rests securely around your shoulders or waist, keeping you as close as possible, glaring down at anyone who looks at you longer than a few seconds
Because of said possessiveness Tom is almost always by your side - you sit together in all your shared classes, and if it happened that he doesn’t take one of the subjects that you do, he has his devoted followers to be right beside you instead, making sure that no ‘unreliable’ people from your class are in near proximity to you. Outside of classes - you’re almost always seated on his lap. In the common room, courtyard, library - everywhere. He especially loves it when you sit on his lap during his privat meetings in the Room of Requirements - him sitting in the head of a long table with you cuddled up into his side, surrounded by his followers listening resolutely to every word he says. It gives him such a sense of power, having not only all of his minions, but also you - the only person he loves - at his complete mercy
Every one of Tom’s followers knows better than to talk to you, unless you are the one who starts conversation. And god forbid them being anything than polite and friendly to you.
Casual dominance? Yes, Tom is all about that. He likes it when you submit to his orders, no matter how small and trivial they are. “Darling, finish your tea, you need to warm up after a walk” or “Go to bed now, it’s too late” or “Put your book down, you’ve been reading for too long. Let your eyes rest”. And it angers Tom so much when you disobey, he wants what’s best for you, why can’t you see that? Most of the conflicts you guys have are actually caused by that, because you too don’t like being pushed around like a small child
Talking about conflicts - it is extremely hard for Tom to admit that he’s wrong, so if conflicts do occur between you two, Tom makes it look like you are the guilty one (even if you’re not). So yeah, he’s still a bit toxic, no matter how hard he tries to suppress it within himself
NSFW ahead!
Despite popular opinion walking around this mesmerizing platform, I don’t think that Tom sleeps around with every person he deems attractive. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’ll be his first (and only) sexual partner, even despite all the girls and boys almost throwing themselves on him in hopes of getting at least one touch
WILL👏FINGER👏YOU👏LITERALLY EVERYWHERE👏 Okay but this man has absolutely no shame when it comes to his lover (meaning you). Plus points if you’re in public place like library or classroom, and god, is he cocky. “You gotta be quiet, yeah? Don’t want other people to hear how much of a slut you are, do we?” all while his long slender fingers make their way up under your skirt, past the elastic of your pretty panties, and all you are left to do is to spread your legs a bit wider for Tom, and try to be as quiet as possible. And oh, don’t forget to take notes, you’re still in a middle of a class!
NOT into daddy kink. Being an orphan, even the word ‘dad’ itself feels strange, wrong even for Tom, so if you want to call him daddy - expect him to freak the fuck out. But if you’re into names he’d love it if you call him ‘sir’ or ‘master’, it gives him sense of power and authority over you
And while we’re on this topic - you’re called everything BUT your name in bed. Tom loves calling you names - whore, slut, fucktoy, darling, sweetness, princess - all that stuff. And oh, when he mixes praise with degradations, all while fucking you absolutely stupid *sighs dreamily*. “What’s that dollface? Is it too much for you? Can this slutty cunt take no more of my cock inside, hm? Stop pretending sweetheart, I know how much of a greedy whore you are, so shut the fuck up and take it”
Definitely will pin you against the wall as he towers over your smaller form, one hand resting next to your head while the other one cups your face gently, forcing you to look him straight in the eyes while whispering the filthiest things ever, making your panties soaking wet in a matter of minutes just by using his words. “You’re so needy, aren’t you? Walking around in that short skirt, swaying your hips like that. Think I didn’t notice, hm? I’d love to see those hips swaying while you ride my cock, what do you think about that?”
Even though Tom expects full obedience from you, he still likes it when you get a bit bratty. When you comply with every one of his orders, but there’s still something mischievous and coquettish about your behavior - naughty little comments slipping off your tongue here and there, and then you are batting that pretty doe eyes up at him, as if it wasn’t you saying all those things. “Moan louder” he orders in a strained voice, hips snapping into yours with loud smacking sound. “Fuck harder then” you quip back, sly smirk curling your lips at the sight of Tom’s perfect eyebrows pulling together in a frown. Your small giggle dies in your throat as man pulls out of you, just to slam his cock all the way back into your pussy, making your body jolt forward with the ferocity of the impact. Want it harder - you get it harder
Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated, they inspire me on creating even more content for you💖
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