#reminder to never write directly on tumblr ever again

[lovelyney]

─────────𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒──────

DESC: “Maybe he shouldn’t have hidden his feelings behind harsh words and accusations,” he thought as he stared at your lifeless body.

PAIRINGS: Tighnari x (GN!) Reader

SCENT: angst

WARNINGS: hanahaki, throwing up, blood, tighnari’s a dick, dead dove do not eat.

GOOD ENDING.

FLORIST’S NOTE: here it is! finally. also, autosave feature? bless u, tumblr gods.

FLORIST’S NOTE﹙02﹚: uh Fawn here a few months after this was published </3 i'm super flattered you all like this so much; truthfully, i'm very insecure about my ability to write good angst, so it means so much!!

SONG: Secret Garden ― Empath-P

YOU OBSERVED WITH DEFEATED EYES as Tighnari, yet again, swaddled your hands in gauze. You tried to take out a Withering Zone by yourself, wanting to help clear his schedule. However, despite having a vision of your own, you weren’t very familiar with the process and ended up getting hurt, much to the forest ranger’s dismay. 

Your throat ran dry as you struggled to find the right words to say without upsetting him more. It was clear he was about to snap at any moment, so you chose to stay silent, despite your anxiety eating away at the stillness.

“(NAME) for the last time, stop biting off more than you can chew,” the fox-eared boy berated, his gaze as bitter as the medicine he brews. “What was the point in bothering with something you clearly had no idea how to deal with? were you begging for a death wish?” 

You swallowed thickly, your stomach churning as he awaited your response. “My only intention was to take some of the burdens off your shoulders. . .” You answered feebly.

With an exasperated sigh, he rubbed his temples in frustration. “So you wanted to help me and ended up doing the exact opposite? Yeah, that sounds about right. 

“(NAME) this is what? The fifth time you’ve gotten yourself hurt trying to ‘help?’ Don’t you realize you’re only making things harder for the both of us?” Tighnari crossed his arms against his chest, growing more impatient with you by the minute. “Achons, we’re going to run out of medical supplies if you keep getting into situations like these. Can’t you learn to take a hint?” 

The harsh tone of his voice engulfed you in shame, his words ripping your heart into shreds. “I—I just—” your attempt to defend yourself was met with the burning stare of his multicolored eyes. 

He chastised, “save it, (NAME). You give me the same exact excuse every. single. time. Taking care of you like this again is already a migraine as it is.” With that, he packed the medical supplies into his backpack, not sparing you another glance. 

Tighnari criticizing and reminding you how all you do is pull everyone down had become routine by this point. He never told you directly that burdened everyone, yet he clearly didn’t care about hurting your feelings, so you never understood why he didn’t just give it to you straight.

He never acted so rashly to the other trainees, so it led you to believe that it was personal. That said, you don’t know what you did to make him hate you so much. And to add salt to the wound, you admired Tighnari a lot. Hidden beneath his sarcastic nature, he was diligent and dedicated to his work. You could tell he cared for everyone within the confines of the forest, although you highly doubted that to be your case. 

As you carefully observed him, you not-so-surprisingly developed feelings for him. You find it hard to believe now, but he treated you gently when you first met him. That memory felt so foreign after all he did was suffocate you with his accusations. Since then, you shoveled your feelings into the very back of your mind. 

“Are you even listening, (NAME)?” badgered Tighnari, snapping you out of your depressive reverie. 

Nodding slowly, you chewed the inside of your cheek, feeling your emotions consume you from the inside out. “Y—Yes, of course, Master. . .” 

“Really? Because ever since I got here, you’ve done nothing but stare at the ground helplessly.” He shook his head and sighed in defeat, “whatever. It’s not like you ever heed my advice anyways.

“Collei and I are going to be gone for a few days on an expedition. You are not to leave Gandhara Ville until I return. Do I make myself clear?” he said, his large ears flicking in aggravation.

That immediately grabbed your attention as your eyes shot open. You deflected, “I—I’m sorry?! Tighnari, I get that you’re mad at me and all, but I am not a child! I don’t need supervision!” Your face burned hot with humiliation as tears formed in your eyes. 

Tighnari’s eyes softened briefly at your defeated expression before returning to their normal venomous state. “Then quit giving me a reason to treat you like one, (NAME). Now, I’ll be taking my leave.” Before you could answer, he left your room, leaving you alone in your misery. 

After a few minutes of silence, Collei wandered in, her gaze saddening as she regarded your trembling figure. “Oh, (NAME). . .” She lamented and sat next to you, gingerly wrapping her arms around you. “I’m—I’m sorry. . . I don’t know why he’s been treating you so horribly lately; he’s usually never like this. . .” Muttered the girl as she rubbed circles on your back. “I’ll talk to him, o-okay? Please don’t cry. . .” 

Withdrawing from your friend’s hold, you rubbed away your tears with a forced smile in hopes of comforting her. “Don’t worry about me, Collei. I’ll—I’ll be alright,” you soothed, your weakened voice revealing the truth behind your words. 

Tighnari peeked his head over the opening, swallowing thickly when he noticed your tear-stained cheeks. “Collei, come with me, would you? I need to have a word with you.” He dictated, averting his regard away from you.

The girl perked up, “y—yes, Master!” She stood up and turned to you, carefully bringing your head to her chest once more. “I’ll figure something out, okay? D—Don’t worry,” she assured before bidding you goodbye and following Tighnari out. 

After the two left your line of sight, your throat and chest tightened. Scrambling into the bathroom, you stumbled over, suddenly coughing violently. You wiped the sweat from your temple, sighing in relief when it ceased. “What caused that I wonder?” You questioned and fluttered open your eyes. While staring downward at what appeared to be lotus petals, you suddenly felt overwhelming dizzy. Had it gotten that bad?

Your hands clutched your chest as bile burned your esophagus. You weakly shoved yourself up and flushed the toilet. You knew that hanahaki was life-threatening if not treated immediately. However, confessing seemed impossible given the circumstances of your relationship and who you’re in love with. Your other option was to have it surgically removed, but that also meant removing your capability to feel emotions. Nevertheless, you wanted to be a forest ranger like Tighnari and help people, so you’d much rather die of the flower that bloomed in your chest than be an empty husk and not feel anything. 

Laying on your bed, you watched Tighnari and Collei converse—probably about your probation if you were to be completely honest. You let out a meek laugh and closed your eyes, allowing your body and mind some well-deserved rest.

“Maybe if this disease takes me, I won’t burden him anymore. . .”

The following morning was horrible. Following your wake-up, you had to race to the bathroom to throw up again; your lungs and chest burned from how fierce the fits were. Making matters worse, you got far from enough sleep because of the feeling of lotuses climbing your throat.

“(NAME)? It’s Collei! I just wanted to check on you before Master and I head out!”

Your eyes flew open at your friend’s voice. Shit. She wouldn’t take this well at all. Quickly flushing the toilet, you grabbed a towel and patted your face dry, hoping your tiredness wasn’t evident. 

“(NAME)? Are—are you alright?” She worried and walked into your bedroom. Her expression dimmed upon taking in your condition. “You look so tired! Did you not get enough sleep?” Fuck.

You compelled a weak smile, “I—I’m fine! Don’t worry about me, I’m just a little—” Your sentence stopped midway as you covered your mouth, hacking up more bloodied petals. Your hanahaki did not seem to appreciate you lying about your feelings for the sake of others. 

Collei paled immensely, her hand going to mimic your own. “(NAME). . . You—you’re. . .” Tears welled in her rose-colored eyes as she watched you recover. “We have to tell—”

“NO!” you interjected sharply. Sighing, you let out a quiet apology. “I—I’m sorry. . . I didn’t mean to yell like that. I just. . . please don’t tell Tighnari.” You muttered, voice enfeebled from your lack of sleep.

“B—But, (NAME). . . If y-you don’t get help. . .” 

“I know. But I don’t think I can take any more of his disdains. especially when he’s—” You, or rather the hanahaki, cut you off as more petals emerged from your throat and onto your shaking hands.  

Seeing the connection, her eyes softened. She lamented, “oh, (NAME). . . You like him, don’t you?” Her arms circled around you, “please, I—I don’t want to lose you. I promise I’ll talk him into apologizing! You don’t deserve this. . .”

Shaking your head, you gently patted the girl’s hair, her heartfelt words shattering your heart furthermore. “Collei, I—I’m not sure I can promise anything at this rate. . .” You imparted. “I’m not sure if Tighnari is someone you can reason with, as well. . .” 

“Collei? It’s time to go,” Tighnari announced from outside. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. . .

The green-haired girl pulled away from you, looking at your (COLOR) eyes with her own pleading ones. “Everything will be alright, okay? I promise. . .” She sniffled.

You nodded despite your views contradicting hers. Watching her leave, your gaze, hopeless and cold, flickered to Tighnari. You couldn’t help but wonder what occupied his mind; has he even thought of you and how you felt once? Probably not. 

The fox-eared ranger caught a glimpse of your eyes and shivered; that’s right, shivered. The way they looked so dull put a pit in his stomach, and he couldn’t tell why at the time. He looked at his student curiously, “what were you two talking about?”

Collei sighed, “i-it was nothing, Master. . .” 

The realization that you didn’t have much time left dawned on you as you gazed in the mirror. Your once bright and lively eyes were now dulled and impassive, almost as if you’d already gotten the surgery. You heeded Tighnari’s words, staying locked inside your hut and not bothering anybody. After all, that’s what he wanted, right?

Your condition worsened faster than you initially hoped. Every day and night, you retched at least five blood-covered lotuses, leaving you more weakened than the last. You couldn’t even estimate how much blood you had lost by now. With each passing second, your life slipped from your fingers like grains of sand. It seemed to tease you with the thought of death, never actually finishing you off—until now. In most cases, people have at least a few weeks to make the choice; you, unfortunately, did not with how fast your feelings developed. 

Reaching up, you wiped the blood from your lips, leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. Normally you would be grossed out by it, but it was almost comforting by now because it signaled you didn’t have to endure this pain much longer.

You staggered to your desk and pulled out a few things: an envelope, a piece of paper, and a quill. Your fingers trembled as you dipped the feather in ink and scrawled the name ‘Tighnari’ on the envelope. He’d admonish you for the handwriting, but when you’re on death’s doorstep, you can’t really expect perfect writing, can you?

With an unstable breath, you began composing the letter with all the energy you could gather.

“Dear, Master Tighnari. . .”

Tighnari took a deep breath as the faint outline of Gandhara Ville came into his field of vision. Ever since had and Collei finished the expedition, this dreadful feeling like something horrible happened stuck to him like a leech. And no matter what he did, it continued to suck the energy out of him. In retrospect, he’s had this feeling since he left. Worse part about it? He couldn’t figure out why; it’s like he could sense an anomaly but couldn’t see it. 

Collei quickly picked on her teacher’s anxiety and flashed a smile, hoping to comfort him. “M—Master, I’m sure everything will be fine! You know how nice (NAME) is! I’m—I’m sure they’ll forgive you! they’re normally so sweet no matter the circumstances!” She encouraged, though, deep within her mind, she was scared herself. She knew how much his words impacted you.

Tighnari dragged out a sigh, his fingers going through his dark hair. “That’s. . . That’s the problem, Collei. I. . . I treated them so fucking awful, and all they did was sit there and take it they didn’t dare speak up,” he seethed, wincing as he recalled the look in your eyes before they departed. “Archons, who knows if they’ll find it in their heart to even forgive me? I treated them like a toddler when I really meant to protect them. God, my delivery was fucking horrid, wasn’t it? I really messed this up.” He looked at Collei with defeated eyes, “That’s what you were talking to them about, wasn’t it? How vile I treated them. That’s why they were crying the other day.”  

The trainee harshly bit her lip, knowing that’s exactly what happened. She knew that he treated you like a weed in a garden full of lotuses when in reality, you were the flowers themself. And now, with your hanahaki, Celestia knows how much pain you must be in—both physically and emotionally. 

Only then did she remember that you had gotten hanahaki the day they left, and her heart sank. She swallowed hard, feeling her heart weigh heavy in her chest as it pounded against her ribcage. “Um, M—Master Tighnari. . .” she quavered.

He glanced her way, the pit in his stomach swallowing him whole when he regarded how horrified she appeared to be.  “Hm? What’s the matter, Collei?” Inquired the boy, his ears flickering in nervous anticipation. Oh god, did something actually happen to you? 

“I—I normally wouldn’t ask of you something like this, but please, when we get back, g-go check on them? They’re. . . they’re not well. . . ” She uttered aside, her voice wobbling as if she was on the brink of tears.

Her words confirmed Tighnari’s initial thoughts; there was something wrong. “Collei. . . what happened?” he spoke curtly. Hearing no answer, his chest tightened, and he could hear his breathing pick up. “Collei. Tell me now. I need to know if they’re in danger.” His voice rattled as he communicated, his anxiety clawing at his every thought. 

Collei’s shoulders shook with small sobs, “(NAME). . . They—they have Hanahaki. They didn’t want me to tell you because t-they hic knew you’d yell at them in some sort of way. . . A-and they’ve had it for a few days now and—”

“—Collei, I need you to be honest with me. Does (NAME) have romantic feelings for me?”

Glancing up at her teacher with a pitiful expression, she wiped her eyes with her sleeves. “Yes, Master, t—they do. . . I believe they have for a while,” she sniveled.

“Fuck.” He muttered and sprinted towards the ville, leaving poor Collei behind. However, at that time, I don’t think she minded; she recognized that he needed to find you as soon as possible—to save you. 

Pushing past everyone in the village, he shoved himself inside your hut. “(N-NAME)?! Are—are you here? We—we need to talk!” He called out, his voice breaking from breathing so heavily. “(NAME). . .?”

……

“Shit, shit! (NAME), where—where did you go now. . .” fretted Tighnari, his mind racing with every outcome possible. His eyes caught onto a wax-sealed envelope that sat neatly on your dresser. He picked it up and felt an overwhelming sense of dread wash over him as he stared at it. “It’s addressed to me. . .”

“ Dear Master Tighnari, 

As much as it hurts to me say this, but by the time you’ve finished reading this, I’ll have passed away. I don’t quite know what to put in this letter. . . Even as I’m writing this, my mind is blanking. I feel like there’s so much I have to say, but unfortunately, I don’t have much time before this disease takes its final toll on me.

I’m sure Collei’s told you by now of my hanahaki. I don’t blame her; the poor girl looked like she would pass out when she found me puking flowers. I know what you’re thinking, “(NAME), you lummox. So you’d rather just sit and watch yourself die than confess?” Well, Tighnari, would YOU confess to someone who’s admitted you’re nothing but a thorn in their side? If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s you who I’m in love with. Have been for a while now. 

I must apologize for plaguing both you and everyone in Gandhara Ville. That was never my intention; I only wanted to repay the kindness everyone gave me, no matter if it cost my life or not. But, unfortunately, as you said, I ended up doing the entire opposite. And for that, I sincerely apologize. I wish I could take it all back. 

I hope you know that despite everything, I don’t harbor any negative feelings toward you. And maybe, in a different reality, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. 

Did you know that I’ve admired you from day one? And I’ll continue to do so in the afterlife. You’re genuinely incredible in my eyes; you’re diligent and passionate, everything I wished I was. You’re incredibly dedicated to the forest, which is admirable. And I supposed that’s why I fell so incredibly hard for you. Maybe you knew I loved you; maybe you didn’t. It’s all meaningless now that I lay on my deathbed made out of my own flowers. It’s strangely comforting, even though I’ve lived far from a fulfilling life. 

I honestly didn’t think my feelings had gotten this bad; I thought I had successfully pushed them away for the greater good. But, with how fast the hanahaki materialized, it seems I unestimated myself. That proves just how much I truly adored you. Never doubt your capabilities, alright? You’re truly unique, Tighnari.

This is where we part, my dear fox friend. My strength is running out, and so is the ink. Once more, I’m truly sorry for all the pain I’ve caused; I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. Please take care of Collei for me? Tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t make it; Celestia knows I tried to push through for her.

I love you, Tighnari. My love will continue to bloom for you in the form of lotus flowers. So, whenever you see one, I hope you think of me and how much I admired you. (: 

Yours Truly, (NAME). ”

The words blurred together as tears muddied Tighnari’s vision. Every written word cut deeper and deeper, but he forced himself to read it all. At first, he thought it was staged or a joke of some sort, and a part of him wished it was, but he could recognize your handwriting from a mile away. “No, no. . . this cannot be happening. . . They can’t be—” he thought to himself as he pocketed the note. He seethed, “FUCK! Where could they have gone?!” He pulled his hair stressfully as he wracked his brain for answers.

“My love will continue to bloom for you in the form of lotus flowers.”

His eyes snapped open when it clicked—the river not too far from here was known for the lotuses that bloomed in it. You couldn’t have gone far either, not in your condition, at least. 

Tighnari hurriedly sped out of the ville, ignoring everyone’s worried stares. “Please don’t be too late please be alive.” He prayed silently. He halted and surveyed the familiar spot, spotting a figure lying near the river’s shallows. he uttered, “(N—NAME). . .?”

Stumbling over, his pretty eyes drowned in tears the second he laid eyes on you. You were sprawled out, bloodied flowers sticking to your lifeless body. Blood smeared on your lips and fingers, and thank the Archons, your eyes were closed, or else Tighnari would’ve gone into cardiac arrest from crying so hard.

He collapsed at your side, cradling your face in his hands; the warmth of his palms contrasted with the chill of your skin. Shaking his head in denial, he thumbed at your face hoping to find some kind of reaction that proved you were still alive. “No, no, NO! Come on, (NAME)! W—wake up! You c-can’t. . .” He hiccuped. 

Tighnari gathered you in his arms, concealing his face in the crook of your neck to hide how hard he sobbed. “I. . . I’m so sorry, flower. T—This is all my fault. . . I-If I would’ve just told you how I felt instead of being a moron, then none of this would’ve happened—you wouldn’t have. . .” A sob strangled his throat and cut off his words.

“I—I thought I was protecting you from yourself. . . B-but I somehow did the exact opposite. I was the cause of your pain, and because of how shitty I treated you, you feared telling me how you felt. I. . . I’m so sorry, (NAME). Y-you didn’t deserve to go through so much pain alone.”   

“Master, I heard—o-oh my god.” 

Collei’s eyes rounded in horror, her figure starting to tremble as the situation settled in her head. “(N-NAME). . .” she croaked and dropped next to Tighnari, her hands shakily finding yours. Like her mentor, she was quick to shake her head in denial. “N—no. . . They can’t be. . . How—how did it—” bewailed the girl as her hand squeezed your fragile one. She turned to Tighnari, who looked to be on the verge of passing out from crying so hard. “M—Master, they’re. . . they’re not, r-right? They can’t be. . .”

The ranger shakily pulled out the letter and handed it to her, watching as the girl sobbed harder at its contents. “T—They found comfort in their death because of how much pain they were in. . .” He murmured weakly. As he pressed a kiss to your hair, he noticed that your fingers grasped something.  

Tighnari gingerly grabbed your hand and unraveled your fingers from what you held. A singular clean lotus. He smiled, weak and faint, plucking the lotus from your grip and tucking it in his hair—a memento of your love for him and his love for you. 

“My love for you will continue to blossom in life and in death. . . N—no matter where you are, you will be the first and last my heart is occupied with. There’s no room left for anyone else, flower. . . There never was in the beginning.

“I will look at each and every flower and think of how selfless and caring you were. Your love and dedication will continue to burn bright in Gandhara Ville. I will make sure of it. . .” 

#|✿| — 𝐅𝐀𝐖𝐍’𝐒 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 #✿| — 𝐏𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐒 #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x y/n #genshinxreader #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #tighnari x y/n #tighnari oneshot #angst #genshin angst #tighnari angst #hanahaki disease

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Him and I

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Wife!Reader

Summary: Daryl and his wife get separated at the fall of the prison but both manage to escape with another member of their crowd. After the reader and Glenn find Abraham and their group, almost after accepting they'll never find the rest of their families, they stumble in to Terminus. Will they be reunited or will the current state of the world impede them once more?

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drugs, violence, swearing, mentions of loss, feeling of anxiety/dread.

A/n: This fic is directly based on a request (that tumblr ate) by @bringinsexybackk69! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get back to this, it's honestly just been so hard for me to write things that aren't blurbs and with the lack of TWD content, it's been dry over here. Thank you for your patience, I adore you! This is not entirely canon since my memory is faulty and I can't currently watch TWD so I'm going off of vibes and vague memory.

When we got to the prison, we thought it was going to be the end all, the place we could stay for as long as we chose to live, where we would raise children, form new bonds and relationships, just overall be safe and enjoy life.

But we thought the same thing about the farm and we all know what happened to that dream.

When the prison fell, I assumed that I would never see any of my family again, my closest friends, my husband. I woke up, alone, on the floor of the prison after Daryl shoved me in a cell and told me to stay put. It took nearly an hour for me to fight my way through walkers to get out into the air and that's when I saw the tanks and Hershel.

My heart broke.

When I found Glenn, I had a little bit of hope that we'd find people the longer we looked around the prison but the longer we looked, the less we found and the more dangerous it got. We were trapped and we couldn't wait around for people to show up. So we left.

"Glenn, where would Maggie go? If something happened, where would she go?" I ask Glenn frantically as we walk side by side, gun by gun, down the rural gravel path, my feet kicking frustratedly at stones with every step we take.

"I don't know, Y/n. We never thought we'd ever be away from each other ever again." Glenn is more frustrated than I am, jaw tense and fists clenched at his side. Without us, I'm convinced he wouldn't last, he's so emotional and gets so easily frustrated whereas I am the opposite.

Cool as a cucumber.

Just like Daryl taught me.

Daryl and I met at the farm.

I stumbled, quite literally, upon them with my arm bit and my whole body sore from carrying my own weight at least a mile or two. I'd say that our first impressions were kind and that we fell in love at first sight but it wasn't and we didn't. He, with the assistance of Hershel,  chopped my arm off to prevent the infection from spreading and inevitably saved my life.

We were all shocked to see that it worked.

Daryl would take care of me, bring me things from the forest like little flowers that he claimed to remind him so much of me even though he'd joke that I'm nothing like a flower. He'd bring me food while I was resting in bed, he'd offer to take me on walks- overall, he was an angel and it was hard not to fall in love with him.

He'd tell you that he fell in love with me when I nearly fell in the well three weeks after my amputation.

Don't ask.

We were inseparable from then on in. He was my right hand man (pun so much intended) and he taught me everything I needed to know. I learned how to hunt with one hand, cook, skin animals, fend for myself because he always wanted me to feel and be capable if anything were to ever happen to him.

He's the most selfless, kind hearted, protective man I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

When the farm was overtaken by walkers and we had to run, it was the first thing to really test mine and Daryl's relationship but also to test my lack of two arms. It was difficult for me to keep up and it was even more frustrating for Daryl to take care of me while saving the asses of everyone else.

"Are you good?" Daryl asks me, spinning around on his bike to look back at me with a worried expression, brows tugged firmly together in fear. He checks me out once, doing a once over to make sure I'm a-okay and when I nod, he loosens up a bit.

"I'm okay. Just a little spooked." I'm trembling like a leaf against him and he finally steps off his bike and moves to wrap his arms around me without another word.

He holds me tightly to his chest, cradling my head as softly as he can as tears flow freely from my eyes, my arm aching in a phantom pain from all the stress of wishing I was more capable, wishing Daryl didn't need to take care of and comfort me all the time.

"I got you, okay? I'm here."

When we found the rest of the group and found the prison, it was like we were drawn to it. We had to clear it out, we had to make it our own, make it safe. We had a baby on the way, Lori was nearly due and with the loss of a few of our people, we needed to regroup and have a place where we could just be.

But it fell, it went to hell, like everywhere else had since the world fell.

When we Glenn and I escaped, it wasn't exactly a match made in Heaven. We weren't the most compatible to work together, always bickering and fighting over the stupidest shit and ruining plans, just like siblings.

But after days and days of walking and arguing, we found Abraham and it was as if everything just got better. It was no longer the two of us and, after all those years of not seeing him, it was strangely nice to be reunited with him on the road.

"Abe?" The ginger's head snaps around at my voice, turning away from his two friends with wide eyes, gaze locking on mine as I grin ridiculously, my feet carrying me towards him without another word.

"Well holy shit, where did you come from?" He chuckles heartily and I feel tears springing behind the lids of my eyes. "I missed you, kid."

Abraham and I were stationed together in the Middle East for too long, learning the ins and outs of each other and becoming true best friends. When we went home, we kept in touch but when the world fell, we became a background thought in each other's minds.

So the fact that we found each other, a state away from where we grew up, it's still remarkable to this day.

Glenn and I felt better once we were with a group of people, especially since we were genuinely going to kill each other had we been stuck, just the two of us, for any longer. It was nice to meet Rosita and get to know her interesting relationship with my old friend, their oddly sexual relationship keeping the rest of us up in the middle of the night.

It made me miss Daryl, meeting all these new people- I had no one to judge people with. Glenn was no fun and always played devil's advocate and Abraham was who I wanted to judge. Daryl would've gladly sat with me and made me laugh while pointing out Rosita and Abraham's obnoxious issues with PDA or making fun of Eugene's mannerisms and nerves around Rosita.

It was alienating, how much I missed him.

My other half.

"Glenn, I don't know why you think Maggie would go to some random, probably overran 'survivalist' camp. But I think we have a better bet just wandering around looking for them." Abraham looks at me with a funny look, reaching out to shove at my shoulder as an attempt to get me to lay off Glenn but I just shake my head. I lean over Glenn's shoulder, looking at the ominous note that 'Maggie' left him and I can see the hope written on Glenn's face.

"I just have a feeling, you have to go with me on this." Glenn spins around on his heels, holding the note up in his hands with a stern, hopeful smile. "She left me a damn note, Y/n." I look back at Abraham, Rosita and Eugene and they all give me a simple shrug which forces a complaint sigh out of me.

"What you say goes."

Terminus obviously was not what we thought it was, tossed into train cars like animals and expected to turn over our weapons. Abraham called bullshit first, not daring to turn in his weapon before asking a few more questions but it was those few more questions that got us thrown into our makeshift jail in the first place.

I had accepted at that point that I would never see him ever again, that Daryl and I would never be reunited and never spend the rest of our lives together like we so desperately wanted to. 

But when he stumbled into the train car two days later to my surprise, eyes falling on me and arms immediately tossing around me, it was shocking. I didn’t even think that he was real, the way his arms felt around me, after days of not having him near me- it was an out of body experience. 

“Are you really here?” I ask, tucking my face in the crook of his neck, gripping onto the back of his shirt as if he’ll vanish from my grasp if I let him go even the slightest bit. He clings to me the same, hoisting me up into the air as I spot Abraham watching us with a proud smile on his lips that makes my stomach flutter with happy butterflies.

“I’m really here.” He whispers, rubbing my back soothingly as he sets me back down onto the floor, looking down at me with kind, protective eyes. “Fuck, I missed you.” His hands reach up, cupping my cheeks in his hands, ignoring the looks that everyone else in the car is giving us. “Where have you been?” He asks, finally taking a look around at the people around us with a relieved breath.

“With Glenn.” I huff, seeing Glenn, who has his arm around a relieved Maggie, sends me the finger from across the trai car.

“I’m so sorry.” Daryl mutters with a laugh, wrapping his arms around me again, tugging me to his chest with the plan of never letting me go.

“Never leave me alone again.” 

"What're you thinkin' about?" Daryl’s voice snaps me out of my memories, my head turning to look at him as he sets a hand on my shoulder, a soft smile on his lips. "I can see the smoke comin' out of your ears." He teases with a wink, sitting down beside me on the log that I’ve plopped on and I lean into him, letting him wrap an arm around my shoulders. 

"Thinking about when the prison fell. When we were apart."

"Why the hell're you thinking about that?" He asks, brows furrowing and a look of worry passes across his expression as he tugs me back into him, clinging to me once more just like the day that he found me. "Worst days of my life."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres

#daryl x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

[yoongiaahh]

First Day - Me or Him

title: first day

series: me or him

pairing: yoongi x reader(f), namjoon x reader(f)

genre: love triangle ; rating m (18+)

summary: as you and your best friend start the first day of senior year you realize you have no classes together. you don't like people and stray away until someone catches your eye in class, not only that but you're assigned to sit next to each other. this is not how you wanted to kick off the first day of school… will feelings bloom? does your bestfriend approve?

note: hiiii this is my first fanfic so im really nervous lol. i decided on a series because as i was writing my mind was RACINGGG lmao i had so many ideas and didnt want it to be forever long. so i hope youll stay along for the ride. please let me know how you like it! im trying to work on my writing skills so any tips are appreciated :) as for the fic its gonna be spicy but itll be a slow burn so dont get your hopes up lol i want to give you a good taste of the characters before jumping in. i wanted to keep this chapter pretty short to begin so we can leave off with a little cliff hanger SORRY itll be worth it i promise! im also new to the tumblr writing scene and still figuring out the controls AGAIN tips appreciated! thank you <3

warnings: none YET

estimated total wc: 1.6k

-

-

-

Your alarm is much louder than you're used to. Not that it matters, you had woken up a whole two hours before it went off.

It’s the first day of your senior year, you can hardly keep your smoothie down due to the rumbling pit of nervousness in your stomach. As you are pacing the room waiting for your brother to come bursting through the door you get a phone call. It's Namjoon, your best friend since middle school and suddenly you feel a little better about how the rest of your day is going to go knowing he’ll be right by your side.

“You ready? I'll be there in five.”

“As ready as I'll ever be Joonie.” You say with a smirk and major sarcasm wondering how you landed a friend so opposite from you.

“Perk up, it's our senior year… what could go wrong.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever see you soon.” Hanging up the phone quickly you grab your bag and run down stairs. You practically plowed through your brother as he was running up to make sure you were ready.

He’s pissed you can just tell by the way his eyes bolt directly to yours.

“Are you fucking kidding me, I had the courtesy of coming to get you and you repay me by messing up my hair.” His words come out like an avalanche as he immediately runs to fix what you supposedly messed up, yet it doesn't look like one strand fell out of place.

“Tae maybe instead of worrying about your appearance so much you can put more effort into school this year.” You scream through the house.

Your brother is a year below you and a complete douche. It comes across your mind more than ever how the two of you can be related. He's the king of his class, making new friends every day while you have had one friend for the entirety of the time you've been in this city. You’ve never really had the want or need to have anyone else than Joon, and you’re glad you havent had to share since he’s never kept another friend besides his gaming buddies.

Joon finally arrives at your driveway. As you're walking out the door you remind yourself there's only one more year of this hell you've been going through for the past three years. You atleast need to get through today, leave your worries for tomorrow and do your best.

The car ride to school lifts your spirits as you listen to Joon gawk about all the clubs he wants to enter and all the classes he signed himself up for. You’re happy for him but not at all what you are thinking about at the moment. Playing your favorite tunes through his amped speakers you reflect on the amazing summer you had and wish that it never had to end.

Gathering your things you and Joon walk up to the bulletin board to check what classes you got put into. Just as your morning got better all the nervousness you had earlier hits you like a truck. You don't have a single class together with him, which in the five years of knowing each other has never happened.

Immediately you both turn your heads in shock. You knew one day this would happen but why the first semester of your last year. You're sweating bullets not knowing how you'll get through today without him.

Trying to make you feel better, Joon offers to switch a class in hopes the teacher would approve.

“It’s alright Joonie, you already said how excited you were for the classes you picked and you got into all of them. I’ll manage somehow.” As soon as you say it you regret it. He would definitely switch if you had just agreed but you don't want to hold him back.

“Well we still have lunch together so just keep your cool till then.” His smile is the nausea pill you wish you had.

He wraps you up in a hug, letting you know everything will be alright. Once separated from the embrace you needed you make your way to your first class of the day.

The bell rings and students come piling in to take their seats before the teacher starts going over the plans for the semester. Writing everything in your notebook to keep your mind off this lonely day that has just started.

It’s not that you don't like school, you actually very much enjoy it and have always kept good grades. You’re just horrible at conversation and not much of a people person to begin with.

Joon and you had been paired together for a project way back when, which is how you and him ended up being friends. He is a very straightforward person so making conversation with him was never an issue, and you actually had quite a bit in common. He could clearly tell you were shy so to say the least he started most of the talk between you two. Once the project had been turned in everyone had returned back to their chosen seating to sit with their friends and you were surprised to see that he chose to continue sitting by you. Since that day you had been inseparable.

Lunch is finally here. Classes fled by quick since it was mostly introductions and receiving your sylbasses. Your backpack feeling like a brick from the textbooks you gathered you make your way to the cafeteria. You quickly find Joon and walk up to the line to get food.

“So how’d it go? Make any friends?” Joon snickers as he says the last part, knowing you all too well.

“Oh yeah I actually already have a new best friend so I guess i'll go sit with them.” Turning your head pretending to look for someone as Joon lets out a laugh. You spin around to smack his arm knowing he saw right through your mockery.

“As much as I would hate to be replaced, it wouldn't kill you to make a friend or atleast find someone else to talk to.” Nudging your shoulder as he says the words.

“I’m good with my small circle, thanks”

You both go back and forth with how the day has gone so far. He couldn't go on enough about how happy he is with his classes, which makes you forget the regret you had earlier about his offer.

The lunch bell goes off so you both clear your trays and head out to the hallways. Study hall is next for you so the nerves have suppressed as you know you can put your earbuds in and tune out the class. Joon gives you a wink and lets you know to meet back at his car when the day is over.

Heading to your locker to put the stack of textbooks you received away you get a text.

JoonieBug🪲🤍

Fighting❤️

Whatever loser❤️

You giggle as you put your phone back in your pocket and head to your class.

“Hello class, I hope your first day of senior year has been great! As you all know, study hall is your hour window to get caught up with your work or take a breather and relax before heading to the rest of your classes.” The teacher says much too loud for your liking. “I have put a seating chart together in hopes everyone can meet some fresh new faces. Please follow this chart as it is part of your participation grade.”

Great.

The last thing you wanted was to meet ‘fresh new faces’.

You grab your assigned seat and whip out your airpods in hopes that the person who's placed next to you takes the hint and stays to themself. Though to your surprise the bell had rung and the seat next to you was still vacant.

As you get out your syllabi to scan and send to your mother you hear commotion at the front of the class. You take out an airpod to see what is going on and you're taken aback when you see a boy with bleached blonde hair rolling his eyes as the teacher is complaining to him about being late. You don't know why but there are butterflies in your stomach as you look at him. Retracting your gaze he turns to meet your eyes. and the butterflies only get worse as you see him heading to the seat next to you.

He throws himself down in the seat and you can feel the heat in your cheeks rising. You don't know why your body is reacting this way.

In all of your other classes you had gotten a seat to yourself luckily but that wasn't the case here.

Hoping he doesn't notice your face looking like a cherry, you press play on your phone and get back to sending the photos to your mom.

“From the way you look you either really didn't want someone sitting here or you must be absolutely enthralled that I’m the person to sit here.”

You barely make out the words as you throw your head around to look at the all too cocky boy taking up the seat next to you.

“I-I don't know what youre talking about.” Turning away with a flushed face. Your mind racing wondering why he would even spout out those words.

“Yoongi”

“What?”

“My name silly, I’m Yoongi.”

“Oh okay”

The smirk on his face is absolutely annoying. You want to slap it right off his face.

“So do I get to know your name?” The smirk slowly turns into a grin as his eyebrow cocks up.

“Alright class, enjoy the rest of your day, I’ll see those bright faces tomorrow.” Your teacher says as the class ending bell goes off.

You have never gathered your things into your bag with such haste. Not realizing you left your notebook on the desk you throw the bag over your shoulder as you dart out the door to get anywhere but that classroom.

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #fanfic #fan fiction #yoongi smut #namjoon smut #faeswrites #yoongi fanfic #namjoon fanfic #meorhim

[tackytigerfic]

Hello my beloved 🐯, moon of my life, I’m trying to think of asks I couldn’t possibly know the answer to, so I’m curious about 6 and/or 13 if you’re up for it? If not you can pick your favorite out of the list! - Liv 💜

Livvy my sun and stars, thank you for the ask! I wasn't aware there was anything you don't know about my fic tastes but I will see if I can dig something up!

Number 6 is coming in another ask so I will answer 13.

💌 A fic that inspired you to create something for it

This is an interesting one because I am really bad at creating tailored fics. I try very hard to write gift fics but I usually crumble and fail miserably. See, for instance, this snip from a fic I started which was inspired by lots of amazing fics by @the-starryknight (they're stuck in a dream sea and each dream was going to be a reference to a different Starry fic), or this snip which was meant as a tribute to the way joy has my whole heart in his hand (@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm). I do hope to finish both of those some day.

I have done some rec lists! This one for @maesterchill, this one for @sweet-s0rr0w, and these short fic recs one and two.

This is not directly related to this ask but art is such a huge part of my fandom experience that it would be rude to overlook the inspirational powers of Drarry artists.

Looking through my old works, I do seem to get a lot of inspiration from art (on that note if any artists ever want to collab pls hit me up, I am too shy to do a big bang but it's less scary to say it on here! i would definitely be interested in potentially offering my services here to write bits and bobs for people's art once I'm finished my long wip! Though as with everything i do i am relentlessly slow and behind so there's that caveat. But i do seem to work visually so art often sparks ideas for me)

All the original art that inspired these is linked in the posts. I have a terrible memory and tumblr does not reliably catalogue things so I hope I am remembering everything.

This piece inspired by art by @littlewinnow

This piece inspired by art by @dragontamerdame

This piece and this piece inspired by art by @fictional

This piece inspired by art from @gryffindorhearts

When I do write gift fics for my fandom friends I try to get in references to the person's own creations. However I have only once ever actively tried to write a version of another fic. It was a fic I had read many years ago and could not for the life of me find again. I wrote this one as a little tribute to that, thinking I'd never find it again. Luckily for me, @lostdrarryfics came to the rescue! Alas the fic was by one of the greatest (imo), and sadly now deleted, HP writers ever, so my own effort paled in comparison! But I was so thrilled to get to revisit it again. It reminded me of how much pleasure this fandom has been bringing me for over half my life now.

#ha omg that went deeper than i thought it would #i do find this fandom endlessly inspiring #but sadly my brain needs to really latch onto something for me to be able to write it #and i can't seem to do that on demand much as i try #alas for tacky #asked and answered #rowing recs #drarry #love you livvy!

[this-is-krikkit]

So… Fanfiction Writer Bingo. Do you still use/ever read your old stuff on Fanfiction.net? Did you prefer this platform to Tumblr/AO3 or do you find writinf and publishing is better on these?

Love you 💜

to answer your first question, dear titans in paths, no i fucking don't!! i did check it out again when i did that bingo thing (cringe intensifies) and the last time i posted on there was 6 fucking years ago 😱🤯 full disclosure, i get the urge to delete my account every once in a while, basically anytime i'm reminded of ff.net's existence, but i try not to give in. it's a part of who i was, yk? besides, opening my inbox on there just reminded me of the absolute pleasure it was to get my first ever feedback on my writing so.... yeah. i'm never rereading any of that shit though, i used to be even worse at writing than i am now BIG YIKES

as for the platform itself, the interface was terrible (still is) and imo counter-intuitive to use, so i don't miss that. also the option to read comments (aka reviews on there) directly from your profile would only appear, in RED ITALIC LETTERS DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOUR FIC'S TITLE, if someone left you a review. so in whatever interval of time before someone did, it would be glaringly absent, which always felt like a stab to my lil sensitive writer's heart (i was a teenager, gimme a break 😳). oh, and the search system is subpar, minus one million over ten, never would recommend even to my worst enemy, run for your life and give up trying to find whatever you were after on there shudders

i did love, however, that replies to comments were private and therefore couldn't count as another comment!! which is something i loathe on AO3, because it fucks up the stats and forces me to reply publicly, which i'm not a fan of. plus, it would open a direct, private line of communication between writer/reader, and that was a great way to meet like-minded people, to make friends, to elaborate future fics together, to discuss headcanons... there was a real sense of a writing community, i feel, that might be lacking a little on ao3 (which is why i link all my ao3 fics to here, though it's still not the same).

ao3 is definitely more modern and practical, but sometimes i miss the good ol' ff days. and i don't actually like posting my fics on tumblr, but i feel like i have to so they get what little visibility they can get x)

#i mean i once posted poetry in my native language terra CAN YOU BELIEVE #BIG YIKES INDEED #writing things #personal #fanfiction #ff.net #mutuals asks #bestie #dont f with moogles #long post #this doesn't count as a weird ask bc it's just very sweet #as are you ♥️♥️ #ao3 #fanfiction.net

[vulpinesaint]

i will be for real with you all. the many variations of the "everyone should be commenting on/reblogging my fanfic!!" mindset (and its children, "and if you're not doing that you're a bad person" + "and i am directly tying that to my motivation to write/my self esteem" + "and if you don't do that you are directly harming my motivation to write/my self esteem") are all bad for you. i've said it before! and i'll say it again! there is nothing wrong with reminding an audience, whether it's in the notes of a fic or in a tumblr post, that authors like comments! calls to action are great! it's the anger that i see when people post about how they get no reblogs. or the passive agressiveness in posts about how people will like but not reblog. or posts straight out saying that likes mean nothing. that's the shit that's not working.

first off: it has to be said. you are not entitled to people's time or effort. it's a harsh fucking truth but it has to be said! you're not entitled to the time it takes someone to read your fic, much less comment on it. you're not entitled to a space on someone's personal blog. human beings are never going to do exactly what you want them to because people just don't fucking do things sometimes. and expecting things from the people that read ur stuff (or see your art!) is only going to create a cycle of frustration in which your expectations are continuously left unmet and unmet and unmet, and if you cling to them, you're going to build up that frustration and anger, and it's not going to go anywhere positive. prommy. it's okay to be frustrated with a lack of attention! but then you have to let that go. and accept that any interaction is because people choose to interact, which is more than they can be expected to do.

which leads me to the "likes are worthless" argument. first off telling people that you don't want their interaction is not going to lead to more interaction. second off what the FUCK are you talking about. i know people get upset when people like but don't reblog because it doesn't further their content's reach, but: what the FUCK are you talking about!!!! likes are an acknowledgement that someone saw what you did and they liked it, enough to let you know. isn't that the goal? with a quick reference to the above paragraph (you are not entitled to time/effort/blog space), we have to talk about the way that people structure their intake of validation. likes are good! reblogs get your stuff out to another person's audience, but that enables more likes! any interaction is interaction. and also:

we cannot be basing everything around validation and interaction from strangers. that is only going to do you harm. as i said, your expectations are realistically most often not going to be met, unless you don't set expectations; if you will only have good feelings about something if people give you a certain amount of likes/kudos/comments, a certain amount of reblogs, you're going to end up with negative feelings, because most times, you're not going to get that. and the same way that you build up anger and frustration, you'll build up anything else you tie to that: sadness, worthlessness, however you feel when you don't get something you want. you can't let that control you. you can't live your life with all of your sources of happiness and self-worth rooted in external factors. those things are great for a boost! but you have to love your creative work for its own sake. you have to enjoy sharing things because you enjoy sharing things. it is genuinely not a healthy mindset to hang so much on other people's actions.

and i get it! believe me! i had one big work a while ago that got a bunch of comments with every update and it was absolutely thrilling and i got hooked on that validation. and then it fucking sucked afterward, cause nothing else i did ever got to that point again. it's brain poison! for real! it's the same shit they put in likes on social media, and i'm sure we've all seen the articles or ted talks or whatnot about the dangers of social media addiction! it's the same thing! and what i had to do to get out of that was find validation elsewhere. start investing myself into my creative processes for the sake of enjoying the creative process. train myself into enjoying every bit of interaction i got, rather than setting a threshold at which i could enjoy it. and it's hard work and i have to do it constantly and it fucking sucks but i am so much happier with my fics because of it. living in that disappointment and anger is awful. i promise it's better to fucking. practice gratitude. i hate that shit but it works sometimes.

and also! it has to be said. as a fic writer + reader: the "likes are worthless, everyone should be reblogging/commenting on fics" posts are fucking annoying. make different posts.

#i'll say it! i would not reblog fanfic because that's not what my fucking blog is for! #and it's my blog. and that's why i get to make that choice. #anyway. #on god y'all those posts are NOT encouraging people to be proactive in commenting and reblogging. #your bitterness is Certainly driving more people away than pulling people in. #and i try SO hard to be sympathetic cause it's not your fault that you're stuck in that! it's not! #but you can't live like that. it's not good for you. #and you're SO annoying because of it. oh my god. #you're not entitled to those comments! you're just not! so you have to restructure your thinking to be happy with your work itself #and then to be EXTRA happy about whatever interaction you might get from it online. #and that's more net happiness in the end anyway. so. #sending love get better please. sick of these fucking posts #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3fic #ao3 writer #ao3 stuff #archive of our own #fic #fanfics #fanfic writing #fanfiction writer #fanfiction woes #fanfic comments #fanfic community #ao3 community #ao3 comments #fan fiction #^ visibility tags i want people to see this

[bitacrytic]

With all the postings of Spotify lists, it made me hungry for new-to-me music. I have like 6 followers and only follow a small amount more, so I am asking directly. Pardon the intrusion. Could you suggest 2 songs? Genre/sub-genre is of no concern. Language is not a barrier. Old or new is good. Mainstream or obscure works. Playlist one-off or life-long staple is welcome. I am not asking you to define yourself in two songs. But if you want to include why you chose them, I love a bit of background. No offense taken if you completely ignore this.

Okay, *cracks fingers* Let's go!

1. Tell Me - Infinite (kpop)

Story behind this is that I could very easily recommend Infinite's entire discography, up until 2017 (when Howon left). I should recommend it. I loved them. I still do, but from a greater distance, these days. I even wrote fanfic for Infinite and was very active in the fandom.

And then a member left.

Now, see that wasn't the strangest thing to happen to a kpop group. I'd loved other groups that had lost members before that and it just never fazed me. It was something that just... happened.

But when Howon left, I couldn't listen to their music anymore. I couldn't write for them anymore. I couldn't even go into fandom spaces. I don't know why it affected me so much. I even abandoned that entire AO3 handle, and got a new one (this one I'm using now on Tumblr) just so I could keep writing without having to interact with that other account or anything to do with kpop ever again.

It's been a few years and now I can listen to kpop without breaking down. And when I think of Infinite, 'Tell Me' is a song that just speaks to me. It breaks me and it heals me everytime.

This was so long, I'm sorry.

But try 'Tell Me'. Hopefully you like it.

2. We Plenti - Cobhams x Simi

As someone who constantly compares herself with everyone and gets frustrated, this song is it. Like, I have to constantly remind myself not to do it. This helps. It doesn't rush me. A lot of Cobhams' music is like that. He's awesome. Like, exceptionally exceptional. Anyone who writes Afro music like he does has to have gone through some shit.

I should warn you though, his music does have some casual Christian undertones. Very very casual. Not even remotely preachy. It's just there, just like any other musical tool he chooses to use. As an agnostic myself, it doesn't bother me. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

.

.

Happy listening😁

#Infinite kpop #Cobhams #Simi #Naija music #kpop

[autisticcassandracain]

joey anon coming back to apologize, i was up too late last night & the post triggered my paranoia (like actual "everyone is talking about you" paranoia not "tee hee" funny disorder paranoia) which, is why i deleted my blog in the first place. sorry for the hate-manifesto. the general vibe on tumblr triggers me sometimes and it sucks because it's generally a good community my brain is just. hell sometimes. i shouldn't have taken that out on you. hate aside, it does still like, hurt, to see a 'bigger' creator get more attention and/or kinda slam a post that you put your own heart into. even if you weren't attacking me personally it's something i see with bigger blogs that get into specific headcanons that makes it disheartening to post anything, even outside of my paranoia issues. but, yeah i apologize for sending you hate, it wasn't cool. i should have vented to someone in private instead.

Hey, it's cool; if that's the case, sorry for posting ur ask, I should've probably just deleted it like I normally do. If it helps, the only reason I published it was because it didn't seem to actually insult me, just assume some strange things, which really confused me. I've had some people assume I was talking about them specifically before and attack me for it (or sometimes just ask for polite clarification, which is fine) before, but never on anon, which was, in no small part what confused me. Sorry for putting you in the position where you felt the need to explain your paranoia to a stranger.

For the record (not just for you, for those other ppl as well): while I absolutely do sometimes make posts because of a post I saw, I almost never make posts I directly in response to others, if that makes sense. Sometimes a post reminds me of multiple other posts I've seen, and then I'll make a post because of that trend. But if it's just one post, isolated, that annoyed me, I usually just bitch about it privately. No posts of mine are ever intended as an attack on or response to anyone else's specific post unless I specifically state otherwise.

And I do understand it can be disheartening to have bigger blogs state exactly what you have and get more notes for it, or to just get little notes in general. Believe it or not, this is my biggest blog. I wouldn't even call it a 'big blog' per se, I just have a few hundred followers, but it's definitely bigger than a lot of other blogs and bigger than my others for sure. Not to mention that I write as a hobby, and it's always super disheartening to post things (on tumblr or otherwise) and get little to no attention for it.

But at the end of the day, that's just how social media works. People will be more likely to be exposed to popular stuff, making the popular stuff more popular. It's not the fault of big blogs (or popular writers) for being big. They started with zero followers like the rest of us, then, usually, just got lucky. That's sure what happened with every bigger blog I've ever owned. Nobody's deliberately taking attention away from smaller blogs. Big blogs aren't corporations who are deliberately trying to stifle mom-and-pop stores they see as competitions; hell, on Tumblr, they don't even earn money from their blog. They're just posting stuff like everyone else. Directing these frustrations at them is (as I'm sure you're aware) irrational.

We don't know each other, but from the sounds of it, it seems like deleting your blog was the correct choice, even if it was done in a fit of paranoia. Again, I'm sure you know, but sometimes the best thing to do with paranoia is to distance yourself from the source of it, even if you otherwise like it. I haven't had genuine paranoia (or the delusions/hallucinations that caused it) in years, but distancing myself from one of its main sources (despite me loving it) was essential to my mental health. I'm glad I didn't have access to social media back them, because I'm sure it would've exacerbated my issues. So it sounds like taking a step back from social media is probably the correct thing to do. But obviously, I don't know anything about you, so if I'm wrong in my assumption, just ignore me.

And in case you were wondering: I'm incapable of being concise, which is why I keep writing essays. Sorry about that. TL;DR: no hard feelings, I get it, take care of yourself and I hope you have a good day.

#My posts #asks #I'll go ahead and delete the other ask #Seems like i cant make this unrebloggable but please im begging ppl to have basic decency

[eastcoastzilla]

34!!

I'm almost positive no one gets on tumblr anymore so I'm gonna use it like a livejournal from 2005

Crazy to think that person above in the photo is me + I am now 34. Wasn't I just 19 yesterday? How does time do that? Move so fast and not at all, all at the same time..

So much changes, yet also stays the same. Year 5 this Nov at Cowan - I would say I am content there. It works, it is steady, + that's all I can really ask for at this point. Everything in life is super unstable and as I get older I find myself craving that stability more and more. That feeling of peace; that feeling of everything being okay and knowing that whatever comes our way we will be okay. The old saying "we want for nothing" becomes more relatable in my 30's. Don't get me wrong though - I do NOT feel 34. Heck, I don't even feel 30. I still feel like I'm in my 20's. I think my a lot of my generation feels that way until they are in their 40s/50s and I'm okay with it. From working at a retirement home for 10 years, I've come to highly believe that age is just a number. (Check back in with me in five years to see if I have a new opinion. I bet I do.)

Material things don't matter. I don't need things to feel like I've lived a good life. I just want to be happy and find enjoyment with the person I love to share life with :). Things are scary and life can be fucking hard but I'm proud of how far we've come. Never asking for too much but it can feel like the odds are stacked against us/me. I try to remind myself that there are peaks and valleys. Writing shit out helps me get it out and move on - that's how I've always been able to process things.

Rinzler got sick right when we were going away to NY for my birthday. We spent 3 days thinking we were losing our best buddy of 12 years. He ended up pulling through and Perry hall animal hospital saved the day but it was super scary + eye opening. He's getting older and we are trying to appreciate the time we have with him here. It's why I wish I had a pet growing up so I would be more prepared to lose one since it's inevitable. At least we have him for now and he's a great light in our lives.

It's September and very soon it's the first day of fall. I'm super bummed summer is over - I'm always cold so I'm down with the heat! However I can't wait to camp soon.

Friends are grown up, moved away, married + doing the fam/kids thing. I love to see them happy and enjoy meeting their babies. Kae's boys are amazing - I'm always blown that she is a mom just because it will always feel like we are still 16 burning CDs for the first time.

Idk why but there's a weird stigma about people who don't want to have kids. Plus I wish people would stop saying "want". Of course I WANT to have kids. I believe I SHOULDNT have kids for my own personal reason that's no one's business but my own. So even though I have chosen not to at this time, it's not okay to assume that I don't get sad about not having kids or that I hate kids. Neither are true. Sometimes I have to not look too deeply at photos online because I will get into my own head and it will take off from there. I don't think that will ever go away. Maybe it's a natural thing - like a natural "maturnal" thing something within me that can't help it cos it screams HEY YOU SHOULD PROCREATE AND BE A PARENT. Whatever it is, it's le pits. There is an eternal, internal voice war going on in my head - should I feel guilty knowing that sometimes I can't spend too much time online or I get really sad about seeing all the mom photos, knowing I'll never be a mom.. I'll never get those firsts.. It's my choice to not have kids so is it even fair for me to get sad? Uh yes thats how you feel let yourself feel it - then I disconnect and stop looking or thinking about it until the next time I do it all over again. Idk, maybe it's something I'm supposed to work through? It's weird. Logically I know it's a smart decision for where I'm at, where we are at, and things directly relating to the happiness and fullness of the child in question. It's a decision I am content with but at the same time have so many thoughts on. Hopefully it'll get easier. Another part of me hopes that I will finally befriend a human being in my later years and we can chat about it like rory and lane. But clearly I just watch too much TV/movies. At least those are good right now. Except for the internet - XFINITY sucks ass.

That is all. Goodnight :)

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x9 thoughts

It’s no secret that I absolutely adore Coach Beard; he’s one of my favorite characters on the show, and he’s so well-written and well-acted that somehow I tend to be both perfectly satisfied with the details we see and truly curious to understand more about the way he thinks, what’s really happening re: his professional and personal devotion to Ted, where he comes from and where he’s going. I don’t need to know his name beyond the name he wants to be called, but I want to know why we don’t have any other names for him. And I don’t need him to be a bigger focal point of every episode, but I very much needed this episode’s world-exploding reminder that every single character on this show has a rich inner life, full of joys and troubles.

“Beard After Hours” is like a movie, but one that scatters its climaxes and puts off its resolutions...because it’s not a movie. It’s episode nine of a twelve-episode season of TV. When the episode ended, I felt this almost frantic “But he needed to break up with Jane for good before the end of the episode!” feeling. I was so pulled in by the idea of being able to tell an entire story in one night, of going on an odyssey alongside a complicated hero, that watching Beard and Jane find each other in that club felt as intense as the fact that we don’t know if Ted responded to Rebecca’s voicemail and we don’t know what’s going to happen with Rebecca and Sam and we don’t know who isn’t getting married and who is having a funeral in 2x10 (I mean, I have my strong suspicions, but still!) and we don’t know if Richmond will be promoted back to the Premier League. And on and on. I didn’t mind feeling desperate for the story to resolve even though I understood after thinking about it for ten seconds that of course it couldn’t resolve yet. Or ever. Or yet.

I’m a big fan of the TL episode recaps/reviews Linda Holmes writes for NPR, and I have to quote something from this week’s directly because it so perfectly explains my feelings:

The power of the scene where Beard dances in the club isn't that it's a beautiful romantic climax. It's that it's an explanation of why he cannot seem to extricate himself from this bad relationship. What makes the worst relationships so dangerous is that they have elements that feel good that are very hard to get elsewhere. Beard knows that; he tells it to God. What's concerning isn't that Jane makes the world seem more interesting; what's concerning is she's the only thing that does. That doesn't take away from the joy of the dancing; it just tells you that even happiness is complicated.

I love Holmes’ perspective here so much, because it articulates something I was struggling to figure out: how it can feel so legitimate, like such a (temporary but nonetheless powerful) relief, for Beard to find Jane in that club and to have this moment of euphoria as his night nears an end. How it is possible to experience that relief on behalf of a character while fervently wishing it could end differently, because it’s so clear from the abusive text messages and the toxic calls and the manipulative interactions that Jane is terrible to him and they’re terrible for each other. But Beard knows this. He knows it when he hugs Higgins in the parking lot after Higgins is honest with him in a way Ted and Rebecca and Keeley have not learned how to be, and he knows it when part of his prayer includes the clear articulation that Jane isn’t the cure for what “ails me.” He’s inching closer to greater self-knowledge just as Ted is.

And the two big resolutions that really, really needed to happen did. I didn’t know I needed Paul, Baz, and Jeremy to get to wrap up their own night out on the pitch at Nelson Road, but I did. It brought actual tears to my eyes. And the other resolution was Beard showing up with the other coaches’ coffees for their meeting to watch the game film. As interesting as it would have been to see what Ted would have done if Beard hadn’t shown up, I’m so, so glad that he did. He’s got a messed-up face and some truly epic pants on, but otherwise this is just Beard showing up for work, showing up for his friends. It was incredible to realize that Beard and Ted haven’t been exaggerating when they’ve referred to his sex-and-drug proclivities in the past. The night documented in 2x9 might have been particularly scary and violent and euphoric and awful and meaningful, but this type of all-night adventure isn’t a foreign concept for this guy. In all the other episodes of this show, when we see Beard we’re seeing someone who might have been out all night, who might have spent the hours the sun was down desperately pushing himself closer to whatever edges he could find.

I don’t really want to touch upon all the allusions in this episode. They are abundant, they are well-documented, and also I haven’t even seen the movie After Hours. I enjoyed this episode for its allusive qualities and I enjoyed this episode for what it was and I feel like I have to be at peace with the fact that I’m never going to pick up on every single reference on this show and that is okay.

So, yeah, if this entry on my tumblr dot com blog seems remarkably devoid of references and allusions, it’s not because I’m not into it but because I find it too overwhelming to actually write about.

Very into the Misplaced and Discovered box at the Crown and Anchor. (That’s what Mae wrote on the Lost and Found box at the pub, right? Whatever it is, it’s so funny.)

Beard hallucinating Thierry Henry and Gary Lineker was truly upsetting and a great indicator not only of how broken things are between the Richmond coaching staff right now but also how deep Beard’s self-loathing might go. If you’d asked me before Thursday if I thought Beard loathed himself, I would say no. That deepening of knowledge alone makes 2x9 worth it.

James Tartt and his friends in the alley. Such a nightmare. I go back and forth on how much of the night was real, and part of me has decided all of it is, short of the images of Henry and Lineker. (And even that is real to the extent that it was a way of articulating what was in Beard’s head.) But watching Beard in physical danger brought on by the same abuser who had him so upset in the first place. It was a lot.

I’m so excited that Paul and Jeremy and Baz got some spotlight this episode. It was so wonderful to see them out of the pub. I love that they ended up telling the Oxford snots who they really were. They got to see Beard going to bat for them and smoothing over the situation socially, and that actually made it more possible for them to end up being truthful about themselves. Because they have nothing to be ashamed of, and they deserved the magic of that night. (And for it to end on Nelson Road. Every feeling. Oof.)

I feel like I barely have anything to say about the trouser-mending lady or the many places Beard goes or his key-dropping or the nightmarish feeling of wanting to be home and being unable to be home. It all happened and we all watched it and again, it was a lot. But I do feel incredibly moved and fascinated by the fact that Beard very obviously still hasn’t been home when he brings in the coffee. He’s had to sleep at the club for Jane- and key-related reasons in the past, and this time it’s not that he’s slept there but it still feels like a kind of homecoming he was robbed of for the entire night. Ted and Roy and Nate are there. He’s gotten their coffee orders correct. Ted is growing and evolving (he wants to learn from what’s happened, he’s insisting upon it even when the others resist) but he’s done a really perfect (almost romantic in its loveliness) thing by presumably spending his evening following a breakdown of his own speeding up the game film to 10x speed and adding Benny Hill. Ted is not OK and Beard is not OK and Nate is not OK and Roy is pretty OK but could very easily be not OK because he’s just joined a coaching staff with a whole lot of not OK. But they all showed up.

I am very into the realism of the lights being off in the club other than the coaches’ office (@talldecafcappuccino pointed this out!), and the way we’re seeing their desks from a different angle because this episode is unfocused on Ted. It really added to the mindset of being hungover and exhausted and unable to go home or even to know exactly what home should be; even this warm, familiar place feels off even as it’s a relief to be back there.

I am excited to return to our regularly scheduled programming with the full cast of characters, but I really adored this episode for what it taught us about Beard and what it illuminated about the humor, pain, and complexity of each person who inhabits this universe. Beard may not be loud about his long-standing beliefs or about the things he’s learned, but there’s a lot happening in there and I appreciated getting to spend 43 minutes with him and (in the case of the ticket he scrawls on a piece of paper so the pub guys can get into Nelson Road) the moments he sets in motion.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #ted lasso 2x9 #meta by me #a lesbian watches ted lasso #coach beard

[nobutfredweasleytho]

YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)

Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.

Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you

(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)

Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.

“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”

“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.

“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.

“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”

“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”

Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.

“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.

“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”

Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”

The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.

“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?

“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.

The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.

Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.

Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.

The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.

A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.

The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.

Dear Freddie,

I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.

But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.

But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.

The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.

You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.

You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.

That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.

You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.

Did you think about her the first time we slept together?

Was I not enough for you Freddie?

Was I too clingy too soon?

Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?

So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.

I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.

I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.

I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.

I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.

I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.

Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.

Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.

Have a nice life,

Y/N

#harry potter #fred x y/n #fred weasley series #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley #fred weasley angst #george weasley #hogwarts #fred and goerge weasley #weasley family #sadnees #i hate this

[let-them-read-fics]

Yours Truly (Pt. 1)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: ~ Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Angst, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! I finally have a few days off, so we're back to our (semi) regularly scheduled programming with this fic! I really hope you enjoy it; lmk what you think :)

PS ~ Once again, I had to split it into two parts to appease the Tumblr Overlords.

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 2 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

1.) A Day In Class

Where does true beauty come from?

Is it strictly based in someone's DNA, rooted entirely in the attractiveness of their features? Or is deeper than that; does it extend from their soul? The very essence of stardust and personality that makes them them? Is it in how they interact with others? How they carry themselves? 

You, being the wannabe philosopher that you are, love hearing people's answers to those questions. Every response is unique in its own way, altered depending on the person asked, and you find that to be one of humanity's most wonderful qualities. Like snowflakes, we're all different; as such is our definition of beauty. It lies in the eye of the beholder, subjective in its nature, and you find that comforting. Just think: if 99% of the world's population found you unattractive, 78,000,000 would beg to differ. 

Though, for one person, you're sure those rules don't apply. She's objectively beautiful, and no one even attempts to pretend otherwise. 

Who, you may ask? Kim Jisoo, of course -- head of your school's student council, resident girl next door, and keeper of your heart. She's poised in every way, and refined to the point that you question if you're even deserving of knowing her. Humor and kindness radiate from her no matter where she goes, so it's really no surprise that so many people love her. 

A tap on your shoulder pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to look at your best friend. "Yo, Y/N. What did you get for number 32?" Jeong asks from his seat in the row directly behind you, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Your history professor likely wouldn't take kindly to being interrupted during his lecture, so you choose to show him your answer instead of responding out loud. 

Jeong thanks you and continues to work on the activity you finished nearly 15 minutes ago, leaving you to half-heartedly listen to your professor. You're a good student, but even you have a limit to how much monotonous speaking you can handle in one sitting. As his words drone on, you roll your neck -- intending for the action to relieve some of the tension in your aching muscles; you're in for a surprise, however, when you lock eyes with none other than Jisoo herself. She offers a warm smile and wave, and the innocent actions send swarms of butterflies to take flight in your stomach. After sitting there for a moment, dumbstruck by her beauty, you snap to and return the gesture, making her giggle quietly. 

Huh. So that's what angels sound like, then.

She turns back to her work after a minute, flipping the page every so often as she follows along with the lesson. You take note of how her eyes dart across the materials laid out on her desk, how her fingers mindlessly flirt with the edge of her sleeve in contemplation when she gets to a question that stumps her.

Never have you ever found yourself in such inner turmoil before. The sight before you begs to be seen -- to be admired -- but class continues on. As much as you try to fight it, your resolve eventually crumbles; foreign concepts now falling on fully deaf ears, you allow yourself to be entranced. 

2.) Out In The Square

A Few Hours Later

Throngs of people stretch out before you, everyone making their way to various parts of campus as the blazingly hot sun beats down on them. Some run like their lives depend on it -- likely having overslept or missed campus transit -- while others take their time, catching up with friends and gossiping all the while. The soft pfft of sprinklers set up across the sections of lawn around you can be heard, going off every so often, and occasionally they're followed by the shouts of some unfortunate people getting soaked. 

"You're so lucky, Y/N," Jeong groans from behind you. A grimace sits on his face as he flips through the pages of his Trigonometry book, looking for the reference graphs again. "No more classes for the rest of the week and you don't have any more assignments to finish? Remind me again how to become a teacher's pet, please." You roll your eyes with an amused smile, leaning back on your elbows to talk to him. 

"I'm not a teacher's pet, Jeong. I just do my work on time instead of partying every night." He picks up a leftover piece of bread from the picnic basket that sits to his right and tosses it at you in retaliation to your little remark. 

"I don't care what you say, those parties are always epic. One of these days I'll convince you to come along." 

You shake your head, knowing there's no way you'd willingly attend one of them. From his stories, all those "epic" nights consist of is ridiculously drunken beer pong, sweaty people doing jello shots, and regrets.

"Not in a million years, loser." You say adamantly, not letting him trick himself into believing he's capable of swaying you. 

With one last muttered phrase of, "we'll see about that," he returns to his studies, and you turn your attention elsewhere.

Scattered light filters in through the leaves of the tree you're sitting under, wrapping you in a blanket of warmth as your eyes scan across the crowd again. The sight brings to mind an idea that always fascinates you: everyone you meet is busy creating their own stories, writing and rewriting new possibilities and endings for themselves with each new choice they make. You can hear snippets of their conversations -- see instances of some having their best days while others are living through their worst -- and it really puts things into perspective. Although we may appear as side characters in those books of life that others are writing for themselves, we have no idea what they're going through at any given moment. So, you believe, that makes it all the more important to leave a positive impact on them; whether it be a kind smile, holding the door, or even a simple compliment, you're determined to have your legacy be one rooted in kindness. 

Speaking of kindness in human form…

There she is, you think to yourself, feeling that all too familiar pitter patter of your heart pick up. Jisoo exits Building C, where her latest lecture just ended, and rushes down the stairs with her books in her arms. She's studying to become an actress, as far as you know, and you can't help but smile at the thought; she'll make an amazing star someday. 

You watch as she meets up with 3 other girls, whom you immediately recognize as Lisa, Rosé, and Jennie, and they eagerly bounce their way over to the refreshment truck that one of your school's clubs had been so considerate to hire. It's the perfect day for a cold treat, after all. 

Jisoo's dark hair flows in the gentle breeze that rolls in, looking like silk as it rides the currents. She's gorgeous in every way, and you can't help but be smitten; besides, it's not like you're not alone in your pining. She practically has the entire student body wrapped around her finger. 

"Y/N, don't forget to blink. You're staring pretty hard," Yuqi says, raising up onto her elbow beside Jeong. He laughs with her, but his eyes remain glued to the notebook paper he's scribbling his work onto.

Your eyes dart away following her statement, and you know you've been caught. "I thought you were asleep," you bite back, attempting to hide the blush of embarrassment that's quickly flooding to your cheeks. 

"I was, but I guess my intuition as your best friend woke me up. It's my mission in life to tease you." 

"So I've gathered," you sarcastically smile at each other, making stupid faces like always. 

"You love me," she flips her hair over her shoulder, appearing self-assured with the smirk that tugs at her lips. 

"Do I though? I don't know sometimes..." she socks you in the arm, making you chuckle. 

"All jokes, babe. Don't pout," you pinch her cheek until she grins, and then she begins telling you all about the dream she just had. 

----

Jisoo leads her gang over to one of the nearby tables, making sure to choose her seat strategically. A special someone caught her attention earlier, as they have from the moment she first laid eyes on them months ago, and she hasn't been able to fight the urge to admire them. She watches as they laugh along with something their friend said, tilting their head back as the cheerful noise rings out. She finds herself smiling along, imagining what it would be like to make them laugh like that; it's a uniquely wonderful sound, and she can't help but adore it. 

They lean across the blanket they're sitting on and dig through a picnic basket, retrieving what seems to be a sandwich packaged up in plastic wrap. One of their friends exaggeratedly thanks them, tackling them to the ground in a messy hug with a shout of gratitude that even Jisoo can hear from across the square. 

"Earth to Jisoo!" Jennie says, raising her voice slightly as she snaps her fingers in front of the unnie. The former jolts back to attention with a little jump, clearing her throat to gather her thoughts. 

"You know, you could always go talk to him. I've heard he's sweet." She tells the other girl, noticing the look of longing that's befallen her features. 

"Yeah, Joy has Art with him on Thursdays. I think his name's Jeong or something like that." Lisa butts in before taking another lick of her ice cream. 

Despite being so smart, the girls are really oblivious sometimes; Jisoo wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at you. 

She doesn't know if now is the right time to tell them that, though. She hasn't officially come out to them, but she isn't afraid that they won't accept her -- she just wants that moment to be special, and sweating in the middle of the campus square doesn't seem like the golden opportunity that she's been hoping for.

"Just eat your treats, knuckleheads." She concludes, taking a spoonful of the shaved ice she opted for instead of ice cream. The truck had multiple types of treats, with all kinds of different toppings and flavorings lining the walls.

"Okay…" Rosé trails off before adding, "but don't say we didn't try to help when you start wishing you had said something later." Jisoo uses her spoon to lower the one that Rosie had raised accusingly at her, reassuring the girl that she'd be fine. 

She knows it's a lie, though; as the 4 of them later toss their trash in the bins and make their way to the student council room, Jisoo sneaks a last wistful glance at you, wishing she would've had the courage to start a conversation.

3.) One Step Closer

Friday, 1:34 PM -- A Few Days Later

"Hey, Minji. How many do we have today?" You wave at what kids have already been dropped off, your presence making their little faces light up with joy. 

Your coworker responds from across the room, tossing a couple stray toys into their labeled baskets to keep the space tidy. "10 or so, I think. The last ones should be arriving soon." You nod and take off your coat, setting your things in one of the small cubbies against the wall just beyond the entrance. 

"Y/N!" A small voice shouts from behind the counter, hidden from view. You smile deeply when you realize who it is, and you quickly dart around the corner to say hello. His chubby hands cover his mouth, but they do little in hiding his adorable grin. "Seungbum! How's my little munchkin?!" He squeals and runs into your arms, giggling loudly when you pick him up and spin him around. His dark hair sways from side to side with the movement, the slight waves sticking out in random places. A few seconds later, he wraps his arms around your neck and pulls back to look at you, settling into your secure hold. 

"Can we play when Jia gets here? I promised her I'd show her the new trick I learned, but I wanna show you, too." 

You smile at the sweet sentiment. "Of course, buddy. As long as you eat well at snack time, we can play however much you want." You raise an eyebrow at him, showing your authority, before saying, "I saw you put your veggies in your pocket last time and skip to dessert, so it'd better not happen again." He lowers his head after realizing he had been caught, and a hint of redness flushes his cheeks in embarrassment. 

"Okay Y/N-yah." 

You tickle him to make sure he knows you aren't mad at him, and soon he's laughing again. "Now, go wash your hands and get settled at the table, please." 

"Yes ma'am." His tiny sneakers squeak against the floor as he races off towards one of the lowered sinks that borders the kitchen wall, and you shake your head with a smile. 

Not even a second later, you feel a soft tug at your pant leg, and you turn around to find the source. 

A head of brilliantly auburn hair is the first thing you see, and its shade compliments the child's outfit perfectly. "Hi sweetheart. Are you new?" You squat down to the young girl's level, noting how she shyly toys with her fingers as they rest in front of her. She nods, the movement so subtle that you almost don't notice it. 

"My name's Y/N, and that awesome lady over there," you lean closer to her and point towards your coworker, "...is Minji. You can stay with us today, or you can play with the others, okay?" She nods again, her mannerisms letting you know just how shy she really is. Gently taking one of her hands, you hold it and look at her with a reassuring smile, asking, "Will you tell me your name?" 

"I'm Aera." She meekly says, only maintaining eye contact for a second or two. 

"That's a beautiful name," you compliment, seeing progress as she lightly smiles at your words. "And I love your bow," you add, touching the delicate material that rests near her ear, nestled into her straight locks. It has cherry blossoms and butterflies on it, all vibrant and neatly colored. 

"Thank you, I picked it out myself." She perks up a bit now, raising her head to look at you with a proud smile. "Wow, really?" You put on an impressed expression, wanting to boost her confidence even more. "You'll have to help me choose one the next time I go shopping, then. You're great at it." The praise makes her chuckle, and her eyes squint into soft crescents in the process. 

After stealing a glance at the table where everyone else has already gathered, you realize that they're waiting on you to start. "Alright, Aera, it's time to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to sit with me, or are you ready to be with the others?" You tilt your head to the side, asking the question softly so she doesn't feel overwhelmed. Having had this job for a while, you've gotten the hang of adjusting your behavior to put them at ease. 

"With you," she says, growing a little timid again at the idea of mingling with them yet. "That's perfectly fine." You reassure her, smiling one more time before standing and leading her to the room. Her hand remains clutched in yours, wiggling around slightly from the height difference as she looks around. 

"Who's ready for some snacks?" Minji asks the group, laughing when they all raise their hands and get excited. Their high pitched voices carry around the room as they discuss what foods they want to trade with each other, and soon everyone is happily munching away. You rub Aera's back sweetly as she eats some cucumber sticks, swinging her feet through the air beneath the short chair you retrieved from the table for her. She looks up into your eyes with a smile, melting your heart with the cuteness of her full cheeks. You squish them before turning away, feeling your 6th sense kick in as you scan your eyes across the rest of the group. 

"Seungbum…" you warn, catching the way he's mischievously eyeing the carrots laid out before him on the table. He pokes at one of them and sighs, eventually giving in as he takes a hesitant bite of it. With some more convincing, he finishes the rest of the pack and gets started on his dessert. 

----

Honestly, you feel sorry for the birds outside.

They must have had hundreds of mini heart attacks upon hearing the somehow earth-shattering roar of the 10 young kids, all blasting out the side door towards the playground. Some of them automatically race towards the swings or slides, while others approach the basket of toys and sports equipment. Aera, however, hangs back, her entire hand wrapped around just a few of your fingers. "What do you wanna do?" She shrugs, looking around at the different activities that the others are already starting. 

"I can push you on the swings, or we could race. There're some monkey bars and a merry-go-round, too, that nobody's using right now." You suggest, hoping to catch her interest with one of them. Her attention snaps up to you at that last option, and she dramatically drops her jaw. "Did you say merry-go-round?" You nod with an amused grin, laughing when she lets out a cute noise of joy. After pointing her in the direction of it, she dashes off ahead of you and makes her way to it, only stopping to make sure you're still coming with her once she gets there.

"Hold on tight, little one." You advise, cheering when she giggles in anticipation. Her chuckles fill the airwaves as you spin the bar around, making sure not to pull too hard and make her too dizzy. You were once a kid, too, though, so you make it a point to add some serious speed every now and then to keep her entertained and happy. You remember playing on these all day when you were her age.

---

"Auntie!" Aera shrieks, excitedly thundering towards the fence that borders the playground. You finish cheering Seungbum on after watching his trick, grinning as he tries to flirt with Jia; she looks impressed. You turn around at Aera's commotion, feeling your eyes practically pop out of your head at who you see standing on the other side. 

"How was your day, my love?" Jisoo asks sweetly, leaning over the metal divider to run a hand through her niece's hair lovingly. She still hasn't noticed your presence, and for that you don't know if you're relieved or saddened. Watching her interact with the young girl is quite adorable, though, and you're distracted from your personal gay panic for the time being. 

"I've had so much fun. And Y/N-yah said she likes my hair clip! I told you this one was prettier than the one with just trees on it!" Aera says smugly, happy to have her decision pay off and prove her aunt wrong. Jisoo tenses up, not expecting to hear your name right now. Seeing that this is her first time picking Aera up, she had no idea you work at the daycare; though she'd be lying to say that it comes as a surprise -- you're a very warm person, so it's no wonder that you're good with kids. 

As per Aera's request, you walk across the playground and join her in front of Jisoo. Now it's your turn to be shy; you sneak a glance at the student council president and immediately feel your cheeks heat up, so you busy yourself by patting Aera on the head. She hugs your leg and settles against your side, causing Jisoo to raise her eyebrows. "I'm impressed, Y/N. She usually doesn't open up to new people very easily." 

"Ah, I'm surprised that such a cool girl like her wanted to hang out with me." You tease, tickling her side lightly when she hides behind the material of your shirt. "Do you want to come in and see what she drew today? She's definitely skilled." You suggest, trying not to sound too hopeful as you muster up the courage to look at Jisoo again. She's already smiling at you, a soft sort of adoration shining in her eyes as they rake over your features. She accepts your offer, and you walk over to the gate to let her in. Aera demands that you carry her, so you scoop her up into your arms as you make your way back into the daycare center. Her head sits on your shoulder, and you can feel her playfully making faces at Jisoo the entire way; her tiny frame jolts with each loud giggle she lets out, and the sound makes you smile. 

---

"Yeah, she was my sidekick for the day." You respond to Jisoo, continuing your conversation as you watch Aera remove her drawing from the cork board that she taped it to earlier. Displaying the kids' artwork is something that you advocated for when you first began working here, and you're so glad you did; they always get excited to share their works. 

"She's a lucky girl, then." She says, doing her best to ignore the feeling of your eyes on her. Focusing on anything other than you is already hard enough for her, but she knows there'd be no hope left if she gives in now. 

"Y/N helped me draw this. She doodled Dalgom in the corner," Aera cheerily says, breaking the slight tension in the air as she approaches the table. Most of the other kids have already been picked up, and Minji's watching the handful that haven't. 

"It's not very good," you cringe, scratching the back of your neck. You've seen him a few times since the beginning of the year, whether it be on walks across campus with Jisoo, or perched on her desk during "bring your pet to class" day. 

"It's adorable; Dalgomie will be honored when I show it to him." Jisoo says with a nod, shutting down your insecurities within a second. You fail to contain the laugh that slips past your lips, disbelief present in your voice as you ask, "You're going to show him?" She looks at you like you have 3 heads. "It would be a disgrace not to."

With a breathy chuckle, you say, "You're so strange. I like it, though." 

Jisoo smiles at that, and the three of you discuss all of the fun things you did that day. Jisoo tells you about the classes she had to sit through, and even how she stepped in gum and had to borrow a pair of Rosé's shoes. 

---

All good things must come to an end, though, and after about half an hour of talking, it was time to say goodbye. 

You lead them out the door and down the sidewalk as per Aera's request, yet again (that child is basically a mini dictator at this point, but she's cute so she gets a free pass). As she rustles around her bag in search of her keys, Jisoo accidentally knocks her earbud case out, sending it tumbling to the ground. "Oh! Here, I'll grab it for you." You kindly offer, stepping past her to retrieve it from the grass. She takes it from you with a word of gratitude uttered in that angelic voice of hers, and you begin your goodbyes upon hearing Minji call your name. 

"I'll see you around, Jisoo. And Aera, I expect to see you next week." You wiggle a finger at the little girl, donning a shocked expression when she pretends to bite it. "Can't you tell we're related?" Jisoo asks with a smile, ruffling her niece's hair. "The resemblance is uncanny," you laugh, watching as both of them join in with you. 

"Y/N, come on!" Minji whines, sounding like a toddler herself. You initially go to brush off her request in order to spend a few more seconds with the two of them, but when she stands in the doorway, entering your line of sight, you see why she's so desperate for your help -- two of the children still waiting on their parents are climbing on her, about to knock her over at any second. Her face is beet red from the effort she's exerting, and her hair is mussed wildly. 

"Oh shhh---" you start, catching yourself when Jisoo widens her eyes at you and goes to cover Aera's ears, "--shiitake mushrooms!" You finish with a nervous smile, gaining a stunned laugh from your crush. "Bye girls; gotta go. I'm on my way, Minji!" You call out like a superhero, running to her aid as fast as your legs will carry you. 

Jisoo watches you wrangle one of the squirmy kids off of her and initiate a tickle fight to distract him and give Minji time to deal with the other one. She smiles like a dork at your actions, realizing she would be content with watching you all day. You're a natural with them, and seeing you in action is something she wishes she had the chance to do more often. With that, she turns around and picks Aera up; the youngster nuzzles into her embrace, lazily slumping onto her after having such a tiring day. As Jisoo goes to take a step forward, she notices something on the ground: a piece of paper. It's been folded neatly many times, and it reminds her of the notes she would always pass to her friends back in elementary school. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she can't resist the urge to pick it up. 

"To The Girl Who'll Never Know I Love Her"

Her eyes scan across the words and she unfolds the note, making sure to keep a steady grip on Aera with her other arm. An almost unnoticeable signature is scribbled in the bottom corner, and she nearly scares Aera by squealing in pleasant surprise. 

It's your name, curled into the letters that are so uniquely yours; the paper must've fallen out of your pocket when you bent down to get her case earlier. 

After buckling her niece into her car seat and climbing into the driver's seat, Jisoo unfolds the note again and begins reading. She's like a giddy kid all over again, and part of her feels bad for giving into temptation. She reasons with herself by promising to give it back to you the next time she sees you, and that manages to rid her conscience of some of the guilt she feels. For now, though, she's eager to see what it contains. 

The first thing to catch her eye is a poem written neatly underneath a doodle of a rabbit, likely serving as some sort of label. Everyone on campus knows of her nickname and resemblance to rabbits, and she can't help but hope that your drawing wasn't simply a coincidence. 

Poison, is what you are

A bittersweet mix, intoxicatingly beautiful 

For one glance from you

Steals every breath I had so foolishly believed was mine to take

For one smile from you

Sends me reeling, falling all over again

She nearly swoons at the words, rereading them multiple times over and imagining you saying them to her. She wonders how the syllables would fall from your lips, which ones you'd stress to alter the meaning into whatever you imagined when you wrote them. Whether or not they're written for her, she may never know; all she's aware of right now is how they make her feel, and how that feeling is one that she never wants to stop experiencing.

4.) Practice Makes Perfect

2 Weeks, 3 Exams, and 1 Mental Breakdown Later

"Coming!" You call out, using all of your strength to push your rolling chair away from your desk and across the room towards the door. 

"Y/N L/N, at your service," you say, doing a little bow in your seat. Upon looking up to see who's in front of you, your eyes lock with the same girl who's been living in your mind rent free ever since you met her. 

"Jisoo!" You announce a little louder than intended, scrambling up into a standing position before kicking the chair backwards. You wince when it collides with something behind you, filling the room with noise as a few of your knick knacks clatter to the floor. Jisoo has to fight to contain the smile on her lips, pursing them as she looks towards the ground so as to not embarrass you. 

It's too late though -- you've already made a fool of yourself, and right in front of your crush, no less. 

"What can I do for you?" You ask, finally relaxing your face from its previously scrunched up position. 

"Are you busy right now? I have a favor to ask and you might be the only person who can help me out." Her eyebrows raise inquisitively at you, quirking up in that special way they always do when she's focusing in class. 

She could ask you to do just about anything, and you'd be agreeing without hesitation; no questions asked. 

"N-no, just doing a little studying is all. How can I help?" You'd normally curse yourself for sounding so shy, but she looks especially gorgeous tonight and you can't even blame yourself for it. The fluorescent bulbs of the dorm's hallway fail to even put a dent in the glow she's radiating, and that's no small feat -- those horrible little things are usually capable of making anyone look bad, and yet, once again, Jisoo manages to break the mold. 

"Mrs. Choi assigned a rehearsal for me tonight, and I need a peer to score how well I do. I trust you to do it." She says, having no idea how much her words are affecting you. 

Review portions of the semester are crucial to every major's success, but arguably none so much as those studying to be actors. The peer and admin reviews that they receive account for a large chunk of their grade, so you can imagine how nerve-racking it would be to put that kind of power in someone else's hands. You're touched that she trusts you with it. 

"I'd love to help, Jisoo. Just curious, though: why don't you have one of the girls help? They probably know more about it than me, after all." Everyone knows how close JenChuLiChaeng are, so her decision to choose you is genuinely intriguing. 

Shit. For some reason, Jisoo hadn't anticipated that you'd ask that question. The thought had never crossed her mind earlier, when she was preoccupied with convincing herself to come in the first place, so she has to think something up on the fly. 

"They're all busy with work. Couldn't afford to lose any precious cramming time, you know?" She says, a hint of nervousness behind the small laugh she lets out. It's uncharacteristic for her, considering she's usually so confident all the time, but you think it's adorable.

"Ryujin's the same way," you tease, turning your head to look at your roommate. She's across the room on her bed, reading through her book as she holds her middle finger up to let you know she heard your comment. "What a sweetie," you coo, blowing a kiss at her that makes her roll her eyes and smile despite herself. She pretends to be hardcore, but after spending the past few months with her you've discovered that she's actually the human embodiment of a cinnamon roll. 

"Well," you say, turning back to Jisoo, "when do you have to start?" 

She pulls her sleeve back to glance at her watch before returning her gaze to you. "Gotta be back at the dorm in 10 minutes." 

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, the inner honor student in you already panicking. "10 minutes?! It's all the way across campus, Jisoo!" 

She laughs at you now, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "I'm kidding; we still have a couple hours. You should've seen your face, though. Priceless." 

"That's no way to treat someone who practically has your grade resting in their hands." You say smugly, a little smirk playing on your lips when her jaw drops dramatically.

"You wouldn't dare," she narrows her eyes, referencing the notion that you might give her bad marks because of that little prank. 

"Maybe, or maybe not. Perhaps I'll be merciful if you take me to get something to eat first." 

"Food as a peace offering? Alright, I can do that."

You smile, doing a dorky little cheer at that. "Okay, I'll be right out; just give me a second to make myself look presentable." 

Jisoo accepts your words with a curt nod, but she wants to tell you that you already look more than presentable. When you first opened the door earlier and she saw you in your study glasses, she couldn't help but smile like a fool; you're adorable, especially to her, and she wishes you could see that. 

A couple minutes later you exit your dorm and find her leaned up against the hallway wall, her hands fidgeting in front of her. Is she nervous?

"So, where would you like to go?" You ask, pulling the thin material of your jacket over your shoulders. It's lightweight -- seeing as how the weather doesn't call for a large one -- and it feels soft against your skin. 

As the two of you fall into step with each other, she responds, "It's up to you, princess. Since I'm at your mercy and all." Her smirk is visible in your peripheral. 

The nickname causes your heart to flutter in your chest, thudding around even harder than it had before. "U-uh, how about the noodle place?" You suggest, trying not to cringe at the stutter in your voice. You've heard that she likes chicken and ramen, and that shop is known as the best restaurant on campus for it. 

"110%. You know me so well," she says dreamily, batting her eyelashes at you with a silly smile. 

"Called it," you retort, brushing your shoulder off nonchalantly. "Now come on, I'm hungry and ready to spend all of your money." Her hand slips into yours when you reach down for it, almost instinctively, feeling like it was meant to be there all along, and you tug her down the hallway towards the elevator. 

----

"I know! If Mr. Johnson assigns another project like that then I'll politely be jumping out a window." 

Jisoo laughs at how animated you are, even having to stop chewing her mouthful of food momentarily to make sure she doesn't choke. She really loves hanging out with you; you make everything fun, and all of the stress she feels on a daily basis seems to vanish into thin air. 

"I did pretty bad on that last one," Jisoo adds, grimacing as she remembers her score. 

"You literally got a 93 out of 100, shut up." You shake your head with an amused smile, reaching across the table to snatch a piece of gimbap from her plate. 

"Hey--" she goes to yell at you, but her phone vibrates against the table, successfully stopping her. 

"Hello?" She answers, silently starting a chopstick war with you when you reach for another piece. When the person on the other end begins talking, she stops playing in order to concentrate on what they're saying. 

"Did she cancel?" She asks, furrowing her brow as her lips form into a natural pout. She sighs, rubbing her temple gently as the conversation continues. "Okay, I'm out with a friend right now, but you can go ahead and head that way. We'll meet you there. Alright, love you, too. Bye." 

You raise an eyebrow, wordlessly requesting info about what new plan you're being involved in. "That was my brother; the babysitter cancelled on them last minute, so we have to watch Aera for a few hours." Jisoo loves her niece dearly, but she can't deny that she wanted to spend the evening alone with you. She's afraid the little girl will steal all of your attention away, as childish as that may seem. 

"You're such a good person," you compliment, only to frown when she brushes off your words. "I mean it, Jisoo. You always take care of everybody around you; it's admirable. Now take the compliment or I'll team up with Aera later and tease you." 

She rolls her eyes with a smile, saying, "You're gonna do that regardless." 

"That's not the point," you pout, stomping your foot on the ground lightly. 

"Fine; tis I, Jisoo, the greatest person in all of existence. Happy now?" 

"Ecstatic." You beam at her, returning back to your cheery self. "I'll go grab some boxes for us, okay?" She nods, and you scurry off on your mission. 

----

Back At Jisoo's Dorm

Images flash across the large, flatscreen TV mounted to the wall across from you, displaying scenes of whatever cartoon the network decided to air right now. Aera isn't being picky; she's content with sitting in your lap, mindlessly fidgeting with the necklace that loosely dangles from your neck as she remains entranced by the screen. Your arms are around her to make her feel secure, and her small frame racks against you with every sweet giggle she lets out anytime a new joke is told by one of her favorite characters. 

Jisoo observes from the kitchen, leaning back against the countertop to settle in while she waits for Aera's favorite snack to heat up. She watches as you point to various things on the TV, having her name the ones she knows and teaching her others that she doesn't. 

She loves seeing you like this. You're beaming in that special way that sets her heart on fire, and the flames are only fanned when you turn to look at her. Somehow, the sight reminds her of the first time she met you:

It was orientation week -- the beginning of the school year -- and you were taking a tour around campus with some of your friends. You were lucky to have them; you'd only kept in contact with a handful of people from high school, knowing full well that most of those relationships were only rooted in superficiality, never meant to last. But this motley crew was different; they saw you for you, and all of you genuinely enjoyed each other's company. It didn't have the same air of awkward tension as the fake friendships had -- this was real and honest, and you thanked your lucky stars for them on the daily. 

All of you had managed to get into your dream schools, and the reality was bittersweet; you'd all be moving away from each other and beginning your own lives, having less and less time for each other in the process. You were beyond proud of them, and yourself, for that matter, but it still hurt to think that they wouldn't be just a few blocks away anymore. That you couldn't just swing by their house to go on a late night drive through the city like you used to. As exciting as your new experiences were bound to be, part of you was terrified; your life up until now had been fairly safe, creating a little security blanket to protect you from all that life had in store, but now you were on your own and the idea was a bit daunting. The memories you made together comforted you, though, and kept the sadness at bay. 

"Dude, this place is sick. How did you manage to make it in again?"

"Because she's smart, dumbass. We should be asking you that question."

"Ouch, (Friend's Name), that hurt."

"Do you still have those chips from earlier? I'm starving over here."

"Yeah, here, they're in my bag."

Pockets of separate conversations can be heard from behind you, all of your friends chatting away while you walk ahead of them, map and schedule in hand. The campus is fairly large, and with so many buildings and classrooms it's easy to get confused. You continue walking, running a finger along the map to trace the path you intend to take towards the Help Center. 

In your preoccupied state, you don't even realize that you're headed straight for a trash can that sits on the sidewalk, mere seconds away from colliding with it. 

A passerby notices just in the nick of time, reaching an arm out in front of you to prevent the accident with a noise of warning. You tense up, not expecting the sudden interruption, and look up into the eyes of your savior. Her dark orbs peer back at you, an innocent gleam in them when she sees your lips slowly tug into a smile. 

She mirrors your actions, neither of you saying anything yet. You couldn't utter a word even if you wanted to; her beauty leaves you speechless. 

"That was close," she says quietly, only to you. Your friends have almost caught up with you now, still busy with their own conversations, though they'll tease you once they see a gorgeous stranger's arm wrapped around you. 

"Thank you," you breathe out, clearing your throat as you take a step away from her. 

"Ooh, who's this, Y/N?" One of your friends coos, garnering a chorus of childish "oohs" and kissy noises from the others. Why are they so obnoxious?

You apologetically glance at the girl one more time before turning around to respond to them, but she speaks up before you can. 

"Kim Jisoo." She introduces, facing them with a wide smile. It's easy to see that she's done this before; her tone is pleasant and light, not even a hint of hesitancy in it. She's used to being the center of attention; you can tell by the way she carries herself and commands the space. 

"I see you guys are taking a tour, right?" She looks between all of you, though her eyes linger on you for a second too long to be brushed off as 'just friendly'. 

You nod, saying, "I can't find my last class. It's a Gen Ed one; World History, room 435. The map says it's in Complex D, but the room was vacant when we went by."

She listens intently, paying attention to your every word. "They must've handed out the old maps by accident, then. Mr. Johnson had to move rooms to accommodate larger class sizes. When do you have him?" 

You unfold your schedule again, gazing down at the slightly crumpled sheet until your eyes find their target. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, 1PM." 

Upon registering what you said, Jisoo does her best to contain the grin that threatens to spread across her face. "Ah, same as me! I can take you to the room, if you'd like. That way you can find it next week." She offers, pleased by the fact that she'll be seeing you more often. Your cute mannerisms have already thrown her for a loop, and she wants to get to know you better. 

"That would be great." You let out a relieved laugh, releasing the worry you felt; tours are meant to end within 20 minutes or so, and before Jisoo came you were afraid you'd never find your last class. She's saving the day again, it seems. 

"Great, follow me," she smiles warmly, placing a gentle hand on the small of your back to turn you in the right direction. When you give your friends one last glance over your shoulder, you find them giving you thumbs up with smirks on their faces. One of them puckers their lips at you, and you stick your tongue out in return. 

You're not sure what they'll end up doing while you finish your tour, though it'll likely involve either skating or eating fast food. They have each other to keep themselves entertained, so you're not worried about them in the slightest. You make a mental note to text them when you're done to meet up again. 

Jisoo smiles like an idiot when she realizes what's happening behind her, failing miserably to hide it when you spin back around and give your full attention to her. 

"What?" You ask, leaning in closer to her to nudge her shoulder when she looks away, blushing. 

"Nothing," she shakes her head, only to be prompted by you again. "You're just cute, is all." 

You have to use all your power to hold back the squeal you want to let out at hearing that. Kim Jisoo, as you now know her to be, thinks you're cute? You must be dreaming. 

"That's funny, I don't remember turning into a mirror."

"Yah, babo!" She chuckles, not expecting that as she smacks the back of your head with no real force. The two of you share a laugh and continue talking while you make your way to the room.

Beeping sounds from the microwave bring Jisoo back down to Earth, causing the pleasant memory to fade more and more with every incessant signal that cuts through the air. She grabs a couple heat guards and approaches the machine, carefully opening the steaming package and pouring its contents into a big, shareable bowl. Though it may be Aera's favorite food, she'd be damned to not make enough for the two of you as well. After all, keeping her entertained will take plenty of energy. 

"Did this princess order one heaping bowl of popcorn or am I at the wrong castle?" Jisoo plays, padding into the room with a bright smile on her face as she looks over at her niece. The smell of her snack snaps Aera back to reality, making her eyes light up with pure joy as she leaps off of your lap and runs to Jisoo. She wraps her arms around her legs, thanking her in that sweet little voice of hers as she gazes up at her aunt with stars in her eyes. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She chants, wiggling her body around in excitement. She lets go when Jisoo goes to walk to the couch, following close behind her like an eager puppy. 

She approaches you again, making grabby hands for you to lift her onto your lap even though she's more than capable of getting up there by herself. Nevertheless, you pull her up with a humored grin, watching as she puts her hands in her lap and patiently waits for the two of you to get a bite first. Her ability to follow manners is commendable, though the slight twitch of her lip when she gets a whiff of the food is pretty adorable. 

"Dig in," you say around your mouthful of food, locking eyes with Jisoo when Aera jumps at the opportunity to follow your instructions. You never have to tell her twice when it comes to food. 

"Yep, definitely related." 

Jisoo laughs at your comment, reaching over top of Aera to flick you in the forehead. She shrugs at your pained exclamation, uttering a nonchalant "Sorry, not sorry," as the two of you crack up together.

----

"Y/N, how the hell did you manage to do that?" Jisoo whispers, not bothering to censor herself when she sees Aera fast asleep in your arms. It's not like she could hear her anyway. 

"She was already kinda tired when she got here; I just made sure to get that last little bit of energy out with the games. Have you forgotten that I know a thing or two about kids?" You tease, turning to her with a smile when you finish walking up the short staircase. 

"You don't understand: usually it takes us hours to settle her down. She's just a totally different person around you." 

"Must be my awesomeness." 

"Hmm, must be," Jisoo hums, quietly opening her bedroom door for you and watching as you carefully lay Aera down. You tuck her under the blankets with care, making sure to brush the hair out of her face and adjust her pillow a bit. Jisoo leans against the doorframe, adding the scene before her to her list of reasons for loving you. Seeing you in such a domestic situation gives her baby fever, and she has to push the persistent feeling away. 

"Ready?" You whisper with one last look over your shoulder, giving Jisoo your undivided attention once you confirm that Aera's alright. 

"Let's do it," she says, pulling the door to but not latching it. The two of you will be in the living room, just down the hall, and you want to be able to hear her in case she needs something. So responsible.

You take in the dorm as Jisoo leads you towards your destination, amazed at how much bigger it is than yours and Ryujin's. This one has separate rooms equipped with their own personal bathrooms, a decent kitchen, and, of course, a living area. Clearly, having ties to the school and being president of the student council come with some major perks. Your socked feet pad against the hardwood floor, and you close what little distance is left between Jisoo and yourself to press your body against her back, wrapping your arms around her. She lets out a little noise of surprise, but doesn't protest; she tucks one of her hands into your clasped ones and uses the other to rub your forearm. 

A few moments later you plop down onto the couch and get comfortable on the cushions. Jisoo digs around in her bag that leans against the tv stand, searching for the script of her upcoming production. Her shirt rides up slightly, giving you a perfect view of her beautifully sculpted stomach, and her skin looks ethereal as it glows in the soft lamplight of the room. Embarrassed for admiring her in such a way, you avert your gaze, failing to notice how she subtly bites her lip as she approaches you; she planned that little show, and it worked. 

"Okay, so here's the scoring sheet," she hands you a semi-formal looking paper, along with a pencil and clipboard to use as a stabilizer. "I'll be reading from the first few pages on my own, but I was wondering if you'd fill in for the male lead for some of the other parts? It's a lot easier to get into character if I have someone's energy to feed off of." 

You smile at how cute she sounded with her little rambled request, and nod. "Of course, Jisoo. I doubt I'll be any good, though." She releases a sigh at that, happy to have you agree; her plan is coming along nicely, but there's always room for things to go wrong. 

"I'm sure you're better than you think." 

"Stop sucking up, Chu. Flattery won't make me raise your grade," you warn, pointing the pencil at her sternly. Your tone sends a shiver down her spine, though it goes unnoticed by you. 

"Let's just get started." She concludes, doing her best to keep from getting too flustered under your already watchful eye. 

----

Her show is well underway, caught somewhere towards the end of act two, and you're enthralled by the performance she's giving. The paper that once rested in your lap is marked up with comments of praise and proud annotations to accompany your high scoring, though now it lays forgotten about on the coffee table, serving no purpose any longer. You finished all of the required sections necessary for your peer review, and now you're just enjoying the journey that Jisoo is continuing to take you on. 

You look back up into her eyes after reading off the lines of the character you're filling in for, looking completely unskilled next to the pure talent that she's exuding. She stands from the couch, looking down at you with an exasperated expression as she remains in character. 

"You don't get it!" She raises her voice slightly, though not loud enough to wake Aera. Even while in the intense mindset she has to be in for her character, she keeps one foot in the reality of this world, making sure to behave appropriately. 

"Enlighten me, then." You stand and retort, shifting a bit closer to her after reciting your line. 

"Only when I'm with you do I feel true happiness. Your kind eyes bring me comfort like no other; I'm safe in your arms. For you, my love," she pauses, her eyes brimming with tears from the emotional words she's spent so much time rehearsing. "...there isn't a thing in this world that I wouldn't do." Your breath is held tightly in your throat, and your hands subconsciously grip onto the material of your jeans. 

Only now do you realize how close the two of you have migrated to one another; she's merely a breath away, so close you can feel the warmth radiating from her. You swallow thickly, feeling your nerves come alive with every second that passes in heated silence, neither of you knowing what to do now. You've lost the desire to read your next line, and she doesn't seem too upset by that fact. Her eyes slowly scan over your features, and the lovesick look in them makes you question if she's still in character or slipping out of it. 

After her gaze darts down to your lips and she licks her own without even realizing it, you seriously begin hoping for the latter of the two options.

She searches your face for any sign of refusal as she leans in closer, now bringing her arms up to wrap around your waist and lightly ball the material of your shirt up into her fists. Your hands rest on her shoulders, and you glide your fingertips over her jawline. A singular nod is the last form of consent that you give her before she pulls you closer. 

Her lips ghost over yours, receiving some of the vanilla balm you applied earlier; her breath hitches when you tug at the collar of her university sweater, teasingly taking her bottom lip between your teeth. She wants to savor this moment, so she fights against her urge to dive right in and get lost in you. 

Within seconds, she's kicking herself for that decision. 

"Auntie? Y/N?" Aera calls sleepily from just around the corner, making the two of you spring away from each other. When she appears less than a second later, you realize how close you had been to getting caught. Jisoo refuses to meet your gaze when you look towards her, and that simple action disheartens you a bit.

"Hey, sweetheart. Bad dream?" You ask, using your inference skills after noticing the way that she's clutching her stuffed bunny close to her chest. Her lip trembles as she nods, and the sight breaks your heart. Quickly, you pick her up again, assuring her that she's safe and that you'd slay any monster that dared to hurt her, even in her dreams. A small smile tugs at her lips, and she brings a fist up to rub her eye. "How about this: I'll do a quadruple check of the room for you, and stay with you until you fall asleep. Sound good?" 

She utters a tired, "Yes, Y/N-yah", before laying her head on your shoulder and waving a goodbye towards Jisoo as you take her back to the room. 

Four sweeps of the room and one fight with a ghost later, you tuck her in again and lay a sweet kiss to her forehead. "Love you," she mumbles lazily, making your heart melt. Kids say that phrase quickly, without even realizing the weight that it has, but you're always glad to accept whatever they imagine it to be. Whether she loves you for playing with her, tucking her in, or defending her honor against imaginary monsters, you don't really care all that much -- she loves you in the ways that she knows how, and that's all that matters.

"I love you, too, Aera. Sleep well." You tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and settle against the wall, prepared to come through on your promise. 

----

"Hey," you start, albeit a bit awkwardly. 

"Hey," Jisoo returns, pushing her leftovers from the restaurant around her plate half-heartedly. You approach the marble countertop that she sits behind, silently begging for her to look up at you. 

"Should we talk about earlier?" You quietly ask, picking at imaginary imperfections on the surface of the countertop. 

"What about it?" 

"We practically kissed--"

"It was in the script to do so, Y/N." She says, finally looking up at you. She sounds a bit hostile now, like she's getting defensive for some unknown reason. 

"Oh," the simple utterance is all you can manage, seeing as how your brain is running a mile a minute. You want to ask if it meant anything else to her -- if she would've taken it farther, had Aera not walked in -- but you don't.  Her tone serves as enough of an answer, and you're not sure you could stand to hear her verbalize your fears anyway. 

"Well I guess I should go, then." You retract your hand and put it in your pocket, realizing how stupid you were for thinking she could like you back. She doesn't; she was just in need of a helping hand tonight, and you offered that. You shouldn't have tried to turn it into anything that it wasn't. 

Hearing the disappointment in your voice makes her want to confess right then and there, but something still holds her back -- some force is yelling at her to keep her feelings hidden for fear of rejection. "I can drive you." 

You shake your head. "Nah, it's okay. I'll have Ryujin come get me. You can't leave Aera here and I wouldn't want to have to wake her up just for you to drive me across campus." Jisoo agrees, realizing that she didn't even think about that at first. 

"Goodnight, Jisoo." You say, heading off towards the front door. She returns the gesture, reminding you to be safe as she locks it behind you and watches you dial up your roommate's number. Before long, she pulls into one of the parking spaces in front of the dorm, and the two of you drive away. 

Click Here For Part 2

#jisoo kim #kim jisoo #kim jisoo x fem reader #jisoo x fem reader #kpop blackpink #blackpink #blackpink fanfic #blackpink angst #blackpink fluff #blackpink imagines #blackpink oneshots #blackpink scenarios #jisoo turtle rabbit kim #park chaeyoung #roseanne park #jennie kim #lisa manoban #let-them-read-fics #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop fluff #blackpink x reader #ryujin #itzy #yeji #yuqi #gidle #red velvet #seulgi #yeri

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

#eve’s 300 moot appreciation

[catty-words]

2021 fic writing roundup

continuing my tradition of doing this each year, and also my dearest rose tagged me

Total 2021 Word Count: 129,809 published words, but 183,981 words written for the year   Total 2021 Hits: 49,663 Other 2021 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 4,883; Comment threads: 437; Bookmarks: 742; Subscriptions: 18. [a very good year for me, damn. like, look at the number of bookmarks. blessed.]

Total 2020 Word Count: 132,741 published words (i kept a personal tab day-to-day, and my total number of written words for the year is closer to 169,112) Total 2020 Hits: 17,311 Other 2020 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,483; Comment threads: 322; Bookmarks: 192; Subscriptions: 140.

links and titles to 2021 works

[crazy ex girlfriend] a chapter of and my heart, under my feet (11,075 words) - the end is so close you can taste it...too bad i am wretched and incapable of looking nearly-finished wips directly in the face

[julie and the phantoms] groupie (n): an enthusiastic or uncritical follower (707 words) - julie is a star and luke does not begrudge her this; inspired by my wanting to harness the 1.07 locker scene energy in a different direction

[julie and the phantoms] from daydreams and waking up (1,078 words) - julie thinks on her mom’s bad traits, as well as her good

[julie and the phantoms] hold what you’ve got (3,750 words) - band snuggles!

[julie and the phantoms] blissed-out inner star (4,206 words) - julie considers stage diving, luke encourages this

[julie and the phantoms] (reggie’s jam) (1,258 words) - a this band is back theory that’s also just an excuse to write the whole band bantering

[julie and the phantoms] one more try (966 words) - the idea that luke originally wrote bright for alex compels me

[never have i ever] i tumble from the sky (you remind me to fly) (491 words) - cross-posted from tumblr for the ‘give me a song and a pairing and i’ll write you a fic’ game that i grew very fond of this year, featuring mr. k before we even had mr. k

[crazy ex girlfriend] winds of change blowing wild (452 words) - rebecca/valencia, name something i’ve written more iconic than Heard about your divorce. :(

[never have i ever] those signals that you’re mixing (548 words) - probably my favorite ficlet to come from the song game; part of my heart is still living in the season two in which this lil fic takes place

[julie and the phantoms] something sensual (though non-conventional) (2,487 words) - luke can say a lot of things with a simple kiss; @nottheleastbrave’s cheer-up fic!

[community] i’ll go if you go, if you’re cool with that (1,598 words) - the study group ladies run an errand, post-s2 and written for @bethanyactually’s birthday because errand running is a pure expression of friendship and i would visit a target with bethany at the drop of a hat

[julie and the phantoms] just let my love loose again (6,089 words) - the follow-up to something sensual, physical touch is luke’s love language and julie starts talking back

[julie and the phantoms] you know me well, oh, don’t you? (1,630 words) - a flynn/carrie moment pre-season, written for jatp women appreciation week

[never have i ever] eminently practical and yet appropriate as always (606 words) - a little fabiola/eleanor moment based very loosely on the ‘keeps revealing more knives’ trope

[dawson’s creek] feels like home (2,196 words) - remember when i watched dawson’s creek for the first time and privately lost my mind over it? yeah, me neither

[never have i ever] now that i’m in, how do i get out (3,261 words) - oh, this little exploration of ben’s loneliness in his own home post-devi living there was actually written in 2020 but it didn’t feel complete and i got dragged away into other fandom feelings. when i returned to read it over, though, i found it to be absolutely ready for publication.

[sex education] (don’t) tell me anything i don’t wanna hear (2,980 words) - i could not accept where we left maeve and otis post-s2 and had to write a fic about it

[never have i ever] surprise (232 words) - another tumblr prompt cross-post; down with fabiola/eve, fabiola/eleanor riiiise

[buffy the vampire slayer] won’t you meet me in the dark? (321 words) - part of the same prompt game, a bit of s6 spuffy snuggles

[sex education] a good man who went down in flames (387 words) - more from the prompt game, maeve/otis banter vehicle

[sex education] dedicated (206 words) - maeve/otis in ten years’ time; never before have i written a better ficlet based on a prompt

[julie and the phantoms] could be dangerous to keep this up (3,992 words) - written for jukebox week, luke crashes julie’s therapy session

[never have i ever] ...diplomatically renegotiated a pact (1,398 words) - set the summer before high school, because i think more fics about their extra-curricular pact should exist

[never have i ever] start, acceleration, then take it back to square one (34,927 words) - ben teaches devi how to drive, thank you @formal-leatherjacket for galaxy-braining this into being

[never have i ever] double vision, in a rose blush (1,836 words) - a couple d/b moments from season one contextualized in ben’s pov. or, three times ben unexpectedly finds himself in the middle of a daydream about devi and the one time it makes perfect sense to him

[never have i ever] take me up to your mind (1,523 words) - season two hate kissing!

[never have i ever] stop you trying to hide (the way you really feel) (6,554 words) - five times paxton gets dragged into devi and ben’s banter, and the one time he drags ben into a conversation with devi

[sex education] (you are) the glitch in my heart (14,070 words) - the follow-up to (don’t) tell me anything i don’t wanna hear, maeve’s pov as her relationship with otis develops

[sex education] even when the ship is wrecked, tie me to the rotting deck (586 words) - the song fic prompt game returns with m/o sexytime tomfoolery

[never have i ever] makes me feel a little bit closer (to you wanting me back) (712 words) - listen, if someone gives me an in to think about jean jacket ‘verse ben and devi, i’m gonna take it

[never have i ever] you were meant to follow me (but i’ll still act surprised) (561 words) - we can all have a little bit of post-s2 angst. as a treat!

[sex education] two wins & a draw (1,927 words) - i’m unreasonably attached to ruthie and so this is a fic about that

[never have i ever] vertigo so dangerous, you’ll have to sign a waiver (1,159 words) - AU where everything happens the same except mr. shaprio never breaks up the wine heist party

[never have i ever] why don’t you show me the bitty spark you’ve been saving for his mattress? (8,265 words) - the 1.10 canon divergence masturbation interruptus smut we didn’t know we, as a fandom, absolutely needed

[the witcher] clever words and phrases only stain (5,765 words) - properly spiraling about this fantasy theater kid and needed an outlet; or, five compliments on his compositions that jaskier takes issue with and one he doesn’t

Favorite Fic: jesus, how are there 36 of them?? how am i supposed to pick only one?

spoiler alert - i’m not gonna. the shortlist of my favorite darlings from the year includes the driving fic (duh), both fics from the plum ‘verse (though especially the first one), and the d/b 1.10 smut.

Hardest Fic: i kind of dicked around this year more than any other. there are a lot of really short fics on this list that i kind of threw together to keep myself loose and writing but didn’t think especially hard about. so the driving fic gets this distinction with, like, zero competition. finagling it into completion was a Challenge at times.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2022? really really truly obsessed with the song fic prompt game, so i’ll almost certainly reblog that again at some point in the next 12 months.

What was the best thing about 2021? you know what? i didn’t and don’t count it as a fic, but the exhaustive list of things i love about [each song on the jatp soundtrack] was the most fun writing project i completed this year. it was a light and happy time start to finish

What was the worst thing about 2021? i got super busy and, like, physically exhausted the last three-ish months of the year and i wrote comparatively very little. it bummed me out.

Any last thoughts for 2021? i wanted to bring some more gen-focused fic into the world, and i’m glad i managed a few - even if a couple of them had a shippy side-plot to them. here’s to some more gen fic in 2022!

Goals for 2022

to work on whatever i feel like working on and not feel guilty about it (worth keeping year in and year out) [again, excelled at this in 2021]

continue keeping track of my daily writing/writing every day (made it through the year only missing 12 days total, which is two less than last year)

break 200,000 words. just for kicks. (i was closer this past year than the year before, but i didn’t quite make it. rip.)

#fic roundup #fanfic #completely unhinged year. love that journey for me.

[alyasgf]

its nice to have a friend

mlb fic masterlist

ao3

Summary- Marinette giggled. “Why would Alya do this? It’s just that this is the kind of thing I used to do when.... oh.” Marinette went silent as the revelation hit her. “The kind of thing I used to do when I had a crush on Adrien.”

—————

Alya not so platonically loves Marinette with all of her heart, and the oblivious girl is only just realizing this

Word Count- 3920

Notes- happy pride month enjoy my massive gay brainrot. i wrote the entirety of this with Bo Burnham’s Inside playing in the background and i regret nothing. also tumblr mobile is my hell :)

Begin

Ever since Alya found out about Marinette’s identity she managed to go from completely forgetting she knew to bombarding her with questions constantly.

Once, she had climbed the stairs to Marinette’s room to see Ladybug coming in from the skylight and immediately screamed out in shock. Marinette had to tell her parents it was a rouge spider and wouldn’t stop teasing Alya about it for weeks.

Another time, Alya spent the entire night that she was over asking Marinette even the most minuscule of questions.

“Who gave you the miraculous?”

“Does Tikki have organs?”

“Do you have to de-transform to pee?”

“Is your suit water resistant?”

“Do you get cold fighting akumas at night?”

Eventually they came up with a system. Alya could ask 5 Ladybug related questions a week. To make sure they were well used, Alya would write down every question she had and chose her 5 favorites every Friday.

It was times like these when Marinette was woefully reminded that Alya was in fact a reporter, and her inquisitive nature just came with it.

Her notebook was disguised as her reporter’s journal and if anyone found it they could assume it was just her random train of thought.

Marinette was never allowed to look in it, so as Alya wrote in it during class she attempted to sneak a peek. She tried to stealthily look at it through the corner of her eye, but Alya noticed almost immediately and laughed before she closed the notebook and nudged her to pay attention to class.

Not a second later, there a was a loud bang outside the school. Marinette tensed as Miss Bustier began to usher students out of the room and to the basement of the school for safety.

“Ayla you have to come up with an excuse for me.” She pleaded with big round eyes.

“Why?” Alya asked as Marinette facepalmed with a disappointed sigh. “Right right! Of course!”

Lately Alya seemed to be as absent minded and jittery as Marinette herself. Whenever the bluenette attempted to bring it up, Alya would redden and dismiss it entirely.

“Miss Bustier! I need Marinette to help me in the bathrooms.” Miss Bustier looked at them questioningly. “Lady problems!” Alya called as she dragged Marinette away before the teacher could respond.

Once they reached the bathrooms Alya didn’t let go of Marinette’s hand.

“Can I ask you a Ladybug related question?” Alya asked in an uncharacteristically small voice.

Marinette nodded and looked into her eyes, confused. Alya looked worried, her breath coming out in short bursts and eyebrows knit tightly.

“When you get hurt, as Ladybug, does the suit cushion the blow? Does the miraculous cure heal you?”

Alya’s hand shook lightly in hers as she said this. Marinette put her other hand on top of Alya’s effectively sandwiching her hand between her own.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it. The suit helps a bit, but there are some risks I just have to take. Besides, it not like I’m all alone out there. I have Chat Noir. I have a team if I need one.” Marinette grabbed Alya’s chin so that the girl would meet her eyes. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Alya blushed and moved her chin from Marinette’s hand, as well as let go of her other.

“Okay.” She said, her voice returning. “Okay girl. Now go, you have a city to save.”

Alya pushed Marinette toward the door. Marinette wished more than anything she could stay and comfort her best friend, but Alya was right. So instead, she called out her transformation phrase and ran out the door.

As she left, Alya couldn’t help but sigh. Marinette always looked so graceful as she transformed.

After Marinette was gone, she waited a minute before running out behind her and whipping out her phone.

“Hi bugheads! An akuma was spotted somewhere outside of Collège Françoise Dupont and I’m here to give you the inside scoop.” And there she went, hoping to locate the akuma and her best friend as quickly as she could.

———————————

After the akuma, Marinette de-transformed and fed Tikki.

“I think that was sweet of Alya to care so much.” Tikki giggled as she took a big bite of her cookie.

“Yeah she’s been acting stranger than usual lately. Do you think it’s because she knows I’m Ladybug? She’s been nervous and timid and just the complete opposite of herself. Maybe she’s intimidated by me now?”

Tikki let out another giggle. “Oh I’m sure it’s not that. You know Alya. She’s not intimidated by anyone. I think it’s something else.”

“Like what?” Marinette questioned, feeling that Tikki knew exactly what it was and was holding back.

Tikki just silently munched on her cookie as Marinette glared at her.

Marinette heard the gravel crunch behind her and she ushered Tikki into her bag before darting around.

The sudden movement startled Alya who was directly behind her. Now that Marinette had turned around they were practically nose to nose. Marinette could smell Alya’s watermelon scented lip balm and Alya eyed Marinette’s lips before blushing and backing up.

“Hey girl, we should probably get back to class and apologize to Miss Bustier for disappearing.” She said quickly before grabbing Marinette’s wrist.

Marinette pulled her wrist away and crossed her arms stubbornly.

“No, first we need to talk about how close you were to that akuma.” Marinette huffed. “I was worried about you getting hurt and I couldn’t do a thing about it while fighting.”

Alya turned around with a cocky smirk on her face. Looking Marinette up and down, she couldn’t get over how adorable she looked when she was mad.

“Aww was the miraculous Ladybug worried about one measly civilian?” She teased as she walked back to Marinette’s side and threw an arm over her shoulder, attempting not to shudder at the warmth at their contact points. “I was fine. It was just Mr. Ramier again, and I’m not exactly scared of pigeons. Besides, it’s nothing your cure couldn’t fix.”

Marinette attempted to hold her resolve, but Alya could feel her soften under her touch.

“Still, I hate when you cross paths with the akumas, it’s like you’re asking for their attention.” Marinette let Alya lead her back to school, arms still crossed as Alya was draped over her shoulders.

“Makes great content though! Just wait until you see the action shots I got of you and Chat Noir. No way Nadia Chamakh could beat that!”

Marinette smiled as Alya gushed about the article she was going to write later that day. As Marinette put her arm around the small of Alya’s back she admired her. She could get so passionate about her blog, and that passion was why Marinette loved her so much.

———————————

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang out with Nino today? You’ve been with me almost every day for the last two weeks. It’s not that I mind, I love the company. I just don’t want to be stealing you.”

Marinette and Alya were out for juice after school. Marinette was nervously playing with her straw. She noticed how distant her friend was from Nino and figured this might just be the best way to bring it up.

“Actually Nino and I aren’t together anymore.” Alya replied casually as Marinette choked on her drink.

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked, after Alya patted her back a few times and she composed herself.

“We broke up a few weeks ago. It was mutual, neither of us did anything. We’re still friends.” Alya replied, taking a sip from her drink.

Marinette was confused. Alya and Nino were great together. Even after Marinette decided to give up on Luka and Adrien, they made her believe love could still be beautiful.

“Okay but why? I just don’t get it you guys were amazing together. Why didn’t you tell me?” Marinette couldn’t believe how nonchalant Alya was being about this.

“We broke up because, well, I have a crush on someone else.” Alya blushed. “Part of the reason I didn’t tell you is because there’s another thing I’ve been working up the nerve to tell you.”

Now it was Alya’s turn to nervously fiddle. She brought her hands beneath the table and picked at her fingers as she but her cheek.

“What do you need to tell me?” Marinette asked softly, in an attempt to ease Alya’s nerves. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

“Marinette I-“ Alya’s voice broke off as she lost her nerve. “Marinette I’m bisexual.”

Marinette’s heart warmed at the confession. She still felt like Alya was holding something back, but the fact that she trusted her enough to come out made her giddy.

“Oh Alya!” Marinette stood up and crossed to the other side of the table to throw her arms around her. Since Alya was sitting, Marinette placed herself in the girl’s lap so she could throughly smother her.

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!”

Alya let out a deep breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in.

“You aren’t weirded out?” Alya asked, even though she knew Marinette to be the most accepting girl in the world, it was still terrifying.

“Of course not.” Marinette said as she climbed off Alya’s lap and returned to her seat. “It’s not like I’m entirely straight either.”

Now it was Alya’s turn to choke on her drink.

“Really?” Alya exclaimed with wide eyes. “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t really feel the need to come out. I’m not sure what I am, but I’ve definitely had my share of girl crushes.” She said it like it was no big deal and Alya couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well god, if I knew that I would’ve just told you sooner.” Alya sighed.

Suddenly Marinette got a look in her eye that made Alya uneasy. It was a familiar look of determined curiosity with a smile that made her stomach flutter with butterflies.

“Sooo,” Marinette began. “You mentioned a crush?”

Alya immediately regretted her words.

“Now that I’ve given up entirely on my love life it gives me plenty of time to delve into yours. Schemes, plots, you name it, I can do it.” Marinette moved her now empty drink to the side and out her elbows in the table so she could lean closer.

Alya blushed, Marinette was so close she could count the freckles along her nose. She wished she could kiss every one as she did, but she immediately pushed that thought away as she tried to focus on the situation at hand.

“I... uh... it’s... well...” Alya tried and failed to get it out. It was just too much. She could smell Marinette’s perfume (strawberries and a hint of chocolate), see Marinette’s soft pale skin so close to her, and her mouth felt as though it were filled with cotton.

“Hey it’s okay.” Marinette returned back to her normal position in her seat and reached for Alya’s hand on the table. “You don’t have to tell me right now. When you’re ready I know you will.”

Alya swore Marinette was trying to kill her. Her hand was so soft and warm against her own and she wished more than anything she could just tell her. Instead she gave a small gratuitous smile to the beauty across from her.

“Now, I know it’s Friday, so what do you say to spending the night at your place and you can ask all of you questions?” Marinette proposed once she noticed Alya had finished the last of her juice.

“Sounds great.”

————————-

“Have you ever used your powers for personal gain?” Alya read from her notebook.

They were cross legged on her bed after dinner and Marinette had just gotten out of the shower.

“Is that seriously what you’re gonna use your last question on? Kind of a boring one don’t you think?” Marinette raised an eyebrow questioningly.

She looked adorably cozy, with her oversized pink hoodie and pink sweatpants to match. Alya shook her head slightly to clear her mind.

“Answer the question!” Alya pouted.

“Okay okay!” Marinette said begrudgingly.

And so Marinette told her about Adrien’s party. The Bubbler had played music for Adrien and Chloe to slow dance to and the lucky charm helped her change the song.

Alya loved hearing Marinette’s point of view of Ladybug related things. Stories about akumas or patrols were always so interesting as she told them. She was just so smart and quick thinking, while still being the same clumsy and kind hearted girl that Alya adored.

“Alright well that’s about it.” Alya said as she closed her notebook. “I’m gonna go take a shower and then maybe we can watch a movie?” She suggested as she climbed off the bed.

“As long as it isn’t anything scary!” Marinette called to the girl descending the stairs.

Once Alya was gone Tikki came out from whenever she was silently eating.

“Hey Marinette why is your name covered in hearts all over this book?”

Marinette turned to see Tikki looking through Alya’s notebook.

“Don’t touch that!” She said as she snatched the book away. “Some things are private!” She hugged the book close to her chest and gave the kwamii a pointed look.

Still, her curiosity got the best of her and she pulled the book away from her chest to look at the page. Sure enough, it was filled with random questions as well as doodles of Marinette’s name all over with little hearts.

Marinette giggled. “Why would Alya do this?” She asked Tikki, who was looking over her shoulder beside her.

Tikki couldn’t help but sigh at how oblivious her holder was. “I don’t know Marinette, but you should probably put that back before Alya gets out of the shower.”

“Alright I won’t look anymore. It’s just that this is the kind of thing I used to do when.... oh.” Marinette went silent as the revelation hit her. “The kind of thing I used to do when I had a crush on Adrien.”

“Sorry, did you see where I left my hair tie?” Marinette yelped and immediately threw the notebook away from her as Alya entered the room.

“Yeah it’s in the lamp by the dresser! I mean by the lamp on the dresser!” She squeaked out.

“Okayyy....” Alya said confused by her friend’s behavior. “You good?”

“Yep! Never better! Just me... hanging out with Tikki... like I do sometimes.” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck and looked around the room, avoiding her friends eyes as she turned bright red.

Alya just shrugged before leaving the room.

Marinette let out a sigh before grabbing a pillow and burying her head into it to scream.

———————————

The rest of the night was... odd to say the least.

Marinette couldn’t understand why she couldn’t look Alya in the eye anymore. What had changed? She could do it easily hours ago. (She knew exactly why. Alya liked her... and she... well she wasn’t exactly sure how she felt.)

In the end, Marinette was glad they had decided to watch a movie. While Alya was deeply invested in the movie Marinette put on (“What do you mean you’ve never seen Ponyo!?) Marinette couldn’t help but focus on how Alya’s body pressed against her, every point of contact setting her nerves on fire.

They were laying comfortably on Alya’s bed, and under the glow of the television they settled into their usual positions. Alya would lay down and the smaller girl would lay in her arms on her chest.

Before, Marinette would think nothing of it and quickly fall asleep, but now all she could think about was her racing heart and how calm Alya’s sounded throughout the entire movie. Over time she calmed down, laughing at Alya’s comments and supplying a few of her own.

“Marinette.” Alya whispered, in case she was asleep. The movie credits were playing in the background and Marinette had just began to drift off.

“Mhm?” Marinette replied, coming back from her nearly asleep state. She removed her arm from around Alya’s waist to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Did I wake you?” Alya was still whispering which brought a warmth to her chest that Marinette couldn’t understand.

“No.” She lied. “What’s up?”

“I’m bored, can we do something?”

“Alyaaa” Marinette whined, snuggling deeper into her side, “it’s so late.”

Alay laughed and rubbed Marinette’s head. “It’s barely 10, you just sleep too much.”

Marinette grumbled before begrudgingly pulling herself up from the warm embrace. “Well fine, what do you want to do?” She crossed her arms over her chest while Alya detangled herself from the covers.

“Do my makeup?” She asked, walking over to turn off the television.

Marinette blushed at the thought of such close contact. It’s not like they hadn’t done this before, but Marinette wasn’t a fool, she knew what the fluttering in her chest meant all too well.

“O-okay.” She got up quickly, hoping she could hide her reddening face.

As Alya climbed up onto her bed, Marinette went to grab the makeup bag.

Alya hadn’t mentioned anything about her odd behavior so far, and as much as Marinette would’ve liked to attribute that to her amazing acting skills, she knew it was just because Alya wouldn’t want to do anything to make her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

And so they sat across from each other for about 20 minutes, joking and laughing while Marinette played around with her makeup.

“Marinette I swear, if I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see I’m going to kill you.” Alya said as Marinette reached for the black eye pencil.

“Oh be quiet you always look cute, besides I saw someone do this in a video I wanna see how it looks. Now stop talking, I can’t do your lips if you keep moving them.”

“I’m sorry, you’re putting that on my lips?” Alya asked with a shocked laugh.

Marinette joined in on laughing before shushing her yet again.

As she lined her lips, she couldn’t help but admire them. Round, full, and so magnetic. She then made the mistake of looking up into Alya’s eyes.

They were bright with laughter, but the minute they made eye contact they softened. Marinette swore she felt the energy in the air around then. She cursed to herself in her head before giving in.

Since they were so close, she didn’t have to lean far to meet Alya’s lips. At first, Alya let out a soft breath, almost like a gasp, before slotting her lips between Marinette’s.

Marinette could taste the hint of toothpaste and something unique to Alya. Her lips were softer than they looked and it felt so so good to give into the thoughts that had been going through her head for the last few hours.

Marinette’s hands went up to cup Alya’s face and Alya brought her’s up to cover them.

After a minute Alya pulled away slightly, hands still holding Marinette’s in place.

For a second they just sat there, Marinette caught her breath while admiring how pretty Alya looked with her freshly kissed lips. She looked up at Alya’s eyes to see them dancing along her face. Eventually their eyes met again.

Alya was the first to break the silence.

“That was... wow. I mean, wow, but what was that?” Alya slowly removed her hands and sat them in her lap, face going from blissful to what Marinette could only describe as confusingly lovesick.

“I read your notebook earlier.” Marinette blurted out. “I didn’t mean to I swear! It’s just that Tikki saw something and showed it to me and- well” Marinette took a moment to steal herself. “Alya am I the crush you didn’t want to talk about?”

Alya wouldn’t meet her eyes and Marinette could see a blush. Her heart swelled.

“I knew it.” Marinette tilted her head to catch Alya’s eyes. “It makes so much sense! The way you’ve been acting lately. I- I think I like you too”

Alya’s eyes widened in shock, still she said nothing.

“I didn’t realize that I did, but we’ve always been so close I never really thought about how good it felt to be around you. How all I wanted to do was be close to you, as close as I could get, always.”

There was a beat of silence. She cupped Alya’s face again, this time to turn her head to face her.

“Say something?” Marinette asked, nerves setting in after baring her feelings so openly.

“I didn’t want to say anything because you’ve been dealing with so much. With Adrien, with Luka,” Alya looked down as Marinette’s hand returned to her side. “With being Ladybug. I’ve been in love with you for a while, I didn’t want to admit it to you, admit it to myself, I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Alya-“

“I need to finish. If I don’t do it now I don’t know if I’ll get the nerve to do it again.” The girl laughed nervously. “I’ve never felt this way so strongly before. Usually I don’t have any trouble telling anyone anything.

So imagine how confused I was when every time I tried to tell you I could barely breathe. It hurt so bad, so I pushed it down, I helped you with your boy problems and for a while I could ignore it.

I convinced myself the feelings were gone. I started dating Nino, and for a while everything was okay. But then you broke down, after you told me everything, we got closer, and it just felt like all my walls broke down. I love you Marinette.

I love how insanely clumsy you are. I love that cute little face you get when you’re annoyed, or how you will go out of your way to help anyone, even Chloe. I love your eyes, I love your smile, I love you.”

Marinette just sat there in shock as Alya poured her heart out. How had she felt this way all along, and how had Marinette not noticed sooner?

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way, or if we can’t be together because of everything you’re dealing with, but I just had to let it out.”

The minute Alya finished talking, Marinette pulled her into her arms and held her as tight as she could.

“The reason I can’t be with anyone else is because I can’t be honest with them. Alya, I can tell you anything and I wish you knew sooner that you can do the same. Even if I didn’t feel the same way, I promise it wouldn’t have hurt our friendship.

But I do feel the same way. I can’t imagine being as close to anyone as I am with you. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize, but I love you too. I really do.”

She felt Alya’s arms tighten around her, and they sat like that for a while, listening to each other breathe, enjoying the feeling of the other in their arms, no longer holding back any feelings.

Marinette pulled away to look at Alya, and she laughed.

“You’re right, that eyeliner in your lips doesn’t look as good as I thought it would.”

Alya let out an offended laugh. “Last time I checked, you said I always look cute.” She teased.

“I never said you didn’t still look cute.”

This time, Alya was the one to lean in for the kiss.

———————

End Notes- sorry i havent been writing that much, ive been hating everything i write so i have like 5 unfinished fics in my drafts😅

#miraculous marinette #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #mlb marinette #mlb alya #alya x marinette #marinette x alya #alyanette #alya cesaire #ml alya #bisexual marinette #gays ladies and gentlemen #mlb fic #miraculous season 4 #miraculous fic #miraculous fanworks

[sunshineandbnha]

Unexpected - Denki x reader (Valentine’s Day)

Word count: 3,978

Warnings: none, aside from a case of “Did not edit, just finished this this morning”

A/n: HOW DID THIS END UP SO LONG?? I swear, I started it with the idea and intention that it would be 1.4k or 1.9k words. How did I accidentally write two thousand more words? Anyway, I hope this is a good valentine fic for Denki boy. I thought of it due to a prompt on tumblr. If I can later remember who it was who made it, I will edit this and have a link to that post.

Edit: Found it. The prompt was made by @love-me-a-good-prompt

~

When was it you started to look at him differently?

"Hey!"

You looked over your shoulder to find Kaminari making his way past several students in the cafeteria to get to you. You turned your body to face him. Though, you felt awkward about still holding your lunchtray, as if it was a barrier between you and him.

"Do you got a date for tomorrow?" he asked with a grin.

Your heart gave a weep at the reminder of Valentine's day. As if the hearts and commercials all over the place weren't enough. "What do you think?"

"Just checking." He dashed to get his lunch tray he had set down, and sped walked to your side as you picked a table to sit at.

Kaminari had been your friend for several months. One day you had simply overheard him talking about a manga, the same one you had read, and you jumped into the conversation. After that, the both of you became easy friends, and frequently had lunch at the same table.

"Why would you even ask?” You slid into a seat at the table. “You know there's no one I'm really interested in."

"Except for fictional characters," he added while getting into his own chair across from you.

"Yeah. Unfortunately they aren't available for me to ask out."

He leaned back in his seat. “We’re really missing out on these things. I thought by the time I was in high school training to be a cool hero, I would have tons of girls who like me by now.”

“And I, for some reason, thought I would magically manifest a special someone. But that’s clearly not happening anytime soon.” You stared down while absent mindedly stirring your food.

He suddenly sat straight and looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. The kind that told you he had an idea. "What if we did all of that classy Valentine's day stuff together?"

"I think you meant cliche."

"Banana, ba- ... oh wait, that's not how the saying goes."

You let out a large laugh and nearly choked on your food.

"Something with tomatoes or potatoes," he continued with a wave of his hand as if throwing away the topic. "Well, what do you think? You wanna do it?"

"You just want the chocolate, don't you?"

"No! I would never!" He waved his arms around. "... Well, that too."

"I knew it!" You lifted your fork/chopstick of food into air in triumph. "Just make sure you get my favorite chocolate once White Day rolls around."

"Sure thing!" He gave a thumbs up. "I'm sure I can get enough money by then!"

"You've been using all of it on manga and snacks again, haven't you?"

"What else would I use it on?"

"Okay. Just don't use the money for my chocolate on manga."

"If I did, It would be a great manga and be worth a lot more than some chocolate. Actually, that should be a thing. Instead of getting girls chocolate, get them manga! And we should get manga too. ... So, are we doing it?" he asked when he paused long enough to think.

"I don't know,” you shrugged while taking another bite.

He slammed his hand on the table. "But you said it like you did! I just agreed to get you chocolate next month!"

"I was saying if I agreed. If I agreed then you would have to get me chocolate.” You internally laughed at his response.

Kaminari slumped in his chair. "Okay, but my point is, how long have we been single? And it doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon, so I was thinking why not we experience some of it while we're still in high school?"

"Hmmm," you tapped your finger against your lip. "Well, you have a point. And I guess I got nothing better to do tomorrow."

“So it’s a yes?” his eyes lit up.

“I guess so.”

“Yes!” He jumped up and some heads turned towards him. “I got a—!”

You hastily pulled him back down and got a hold of his ear. He yelped in pain before you shushed him. The attention he had gained was beginning to die down after doing that, much to your relief. You released a small puff of air, grateful that you didn’t feel like you were in a spotlight anymore.

“Kaminari,” you whispered into his ear, an edge present in your voice, “Don’t go announcing it to the world, especially if it’s not an actual date. Do not ruin it for me.”

You let go, and he got out of the awkward position of being pulled half way onto the table. Thankfully, he hadn’t landed in his food when you pulled him down. He settled back in his chair and rubbed his ear.

“Okay! You can count on me!”

 Maybe it was a bad idea to suddenly agree when that meant you had to make chocolate for him that night. You already had some chocolate you bought from the store for family and friends. One of those giri chocos was originally going to be his, but now you would have to actually make him honmei choco if you were going to have the whole Valentine's Day experience. You considered skipping on that for a brief second, but you had already agreed to do it. Plus, you weren't sure if you would ever get to do this during high school at this rate. And you wanted to at least have done it once.

You'd have to run to the store to get better quality chocolate, a cute wrap for it, and a heart shaped mold. In order to save time, you went directly to the nearest store after school. It would save time, which you didn't have much of it. You didn't know how long it would take to make them, and you wanted some extra time in case you make a mistake and had to do something over again.

It was more crowded than you thought. You also didn't realize how many stares you would get just for being in your U.A. uniform. Thankfully, everything you needed was there and you made your way to the counter to pay. As you were weaving your way through the people, you thought you saw another student. You did a double take. Uniform. Pink skin. Ashido.

You tried to duck and hide, but it was too late.

"Oh, hey!" She waved you down and ran to you. A bag of purchased goods was hanging from her arm. "What are you doing here? Are you getting last minute giri choco too!"

“I, uh.”

“Hey, isn't that stuff to make chocolate? Wait a second… OMG! Who’s the lucky person!”

You nervously held the items close to you. This was why you didn't want her seeing you. "No one, really. I'm just... making it for the experience." You put a smile onto your face and did your best to make the last half of the sentence sound cheery.

It wasn't technically a lie. You just hoped she bought it. Because if she kept prying and learned it was for Kaminari, you would never hear the end of it.

"Okay. Can I have some when you're done?" She joked and bumped your arm with her elbow.

"Only if I didn't eat it all first." You internally high fived yourself for the quick reply.

"Okay. Well, see you at U.A." She waved before dashing out the door.

"Bye!" You watched her go. When she was out of view, you exhaled a breath you didn't know you were holding.

 You stood nervously in the park. You wore a Valentine Day themed outfit you had put together, with the help of some ideas from the internet. It was 5:45 pm, the time you agreed on meeting. You had honestly expected him to be slightly late. Though it did nothing to make your feel less jittery.

There were quite a few people who also had the same idea of going to the park. Some friends playing Frisbee. A family walking by. And some couples. You scanned the area for him, multiple times, but still couldn't see him.

Why were you even so worried? This was your friend. It’s not like it was an actual date with someone you liked. If he forgot or something, you could just chew him out later. Then that 'what if' situation made you sick to your stomach and you forced yourself to stop thinking about it.

"Hey!"

You head turned up within a split second and you saw him. He wore a dark blue button up shirt. This plus his smile and hair... somehow made him look nice. A smile spread on your face, yet your nerves didn't completely calm down just yet.

"Hey!" You greeted back.

"You look nice," he commented.

"You too." You nodded. "So, what were you planning on doing first?"

"I thought we'd walk around here first, then go to this one restaurant. And after that we can wander around shops." he shrugged.

"Okay, sounds nice." You began walking side by side with him.

Your brain tried to sabotage the moment by beginning to make you feel awkward. You did your best to push it away. But were you supposed to be walking in silence? Or talking?

"You wanna hold hands?" He offered.

"Hmm," you joking held your finger to your lip in deep thought. "I think no."

"Oh, come on!" He acted upset, but there was a big grin on his face.

You laughed and he joined in. A few more jokes were thrown back and forth as you passed trees and other people. Though within a seemingly short amount of time, the conversation hit dead end. You pulled on your sleeve and look in any direction but him.

"Okay, this is getting boring,” he said. “Can we go to the restaurant now?”

"Lucky for you, I think we're almost at the end of the park, and I'm hungry."

“Yes!” he cheered. “They always make walking through the park look more fun in the movies.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a laugh.

Kaminari led you to the place he picked out. Well, more like he tried to go there, then got lost and had to give up on relying on his memory. He made the brilliant move of pulling out his phone, setting the location on his map app, and he following it. But you both realized that he had gotten the point where you going mixed up with your location.  This resulted in having to backtrack and ignoring your growling stomach as it took even longer to get there.

Finally, you found it. You entered through door with him. Inside were tables placed around a large circle. The conveyor belt had several plates of food with different types of sushi and other dishes. The chiefs in the middle of the circle conveyor worked hard to keep the food coming. Almost every table was filled.

“Aw, man. We should have gotten here earlier,” Kaminari grabbed your hand. “C’mon.”

You both ran until you spotted a free table and slide in. It took a second to catch your breath after the sudden sprint. Sitting in the chair, you looked around more closely. It was a nice place. There were people chattering, some clanking of plates, and mouth watering food slowly passing by you. You reached up to begin to grab one, but then you stopped yourself.

"Wait, am I paying for myself or where you...?"

"You can have whatever you want. My treat," he replied with a ish eating grin. Probably meant that he thought what he just said was very cool.

You laughed to yourself and picked one and he did the same. It was good. You were pleasantly surprised, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was because he had only learned of the restaurant while looking up ones online to take you to. And it was only yesterday that you agreed. Then again, you had made honmei choco the other night...

You suddenly remembered something and nearly choked on your sushi roll.

"You okay?" Kaminari said, unfortunately dismissing any hope you had that he didn't notice.

"No, I'm good. I just need to make a phone call. One second." You excused yourself and walked outside while pulling out your phone.

It was an uncomfortable change to suddenly be greeted by the chilly February air. Was it really that cold when you  were with Kaminari? You dialed your mom's number and resisted the urge to pace.

As soon as you heard the other end being picked up, you began. "Mom, I need you to get something for me. If you look in the kitchen, somewhere on the counter is where I left a bag of chocolate for Valentine's day. Can you bring that to me?" You had been so busy trying to get ready and be on time, that you had accidentally left the honmei choco you made.

"Uhh, okay. But where are you? It’ll be awfully hard to give it to you if I don’t know where you are."

"In a little bit I should be..." you tried to think of a good point to meet up, "near Takoba Municipal Beach Park. Probably close to that one gazebo. I'll text you that so you don't forget after I hang up."

"Okay. I hope you appreciate this. I really don't feel like going all the way out there to give you something you forgot."

"If I could go back and un-forget it, I would. Thank you. Bye."

With that, the call ended. You took a deep breath to calm your heart, which seemed to think forgetting chocolate was a catastrophic event, and went back inside.

When you caught sight of Kaminari again he was dunking a chunk of seaweed and fish into soy sauce, before shoving it into his already full mouth. He stopped  and paused upon seeing you. He chewed and swallowed as quickly as he could and finished by the time you sat back down.

"So, what was that about?" he started it off as a joke, but his voice seemed shaky for whatever reason.

"I just forgot something and asked Mom to go get it for me." Technically wasn't a lie.

"Oh, okay." He began eating more. He started counting the plates and you could see his face pale a tad.

"Is everything alright for you?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, everything's great." He smiled at you.

You shrugged and focused your gaze on the conveyor belt. A particularly delicious looking morsel. It was clearly more expensive, with a nice layer of tuna in it. You reached out your hand, considering getting it when you saw Kaminari flinch at your action.

You turned to him. "Do I need to pay for my own meal?"

"No, no," he tried to retain the coolness he built up, "I can pay."

You sighed. "No, you are not going broke because of expensive fish."

"But, that's not-"

"What? It's not cool? Denki- oops.” You realized you accidentally used his given name.

His face turned the slightest bit pink, though you hardly even noticed in your own embarrassment. “That’s fine. You can call me Denki. We’ve known each other long enough.”

“Thanks,” you nodded and continued, “Denki, you are my friend," why did the word 'friend' leave a different taste this time 'round? "and I don't want you doing something stupid because you think it makes you look cool."

He struggled to make a comeback and ended up blurting out, "Doing something stupid that makes me look cool defines me."

"Look, let's split the bill between us, that way you pay for some of mine, but you don't spend up the money for the chocolate you promised me."

"Wait, you didn't care about me, you just wanted to make sure you still got chocolate." He faked an offended expression.

You exhaled a laugh. "Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you feel better. As long as you agree."

"Fine."

"But don't purposefully buy more just because I'm offering to pay half."

"Can't make any promises~"

"You little-"

Eventually, you became full enough, or rather reached the maximum to what you were willing to pay. Then you left. You blinked when you stepped out. You hadn’t expected it to become this dark. Kaminari began walking off, probably to some store or the mall, but you grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Is it alright if we stop by the beach?"

His eyes lit up, like the stars in the sky. "Great idea! That'd be much more romantic."

You expected to roll your eyes, but what you found was your face growing warm and your mouth being lost for words. Thankfully, he didn't notice and just started running for the beach, pulling you along. Buildings loomed over you in the dark, until they finally cleared and the beach came into view. The sea seemed to become the night sky. It gently washed over the sand in a rhymic pattern. The sound of it filled your ears and your senses listened. A sense of calmness washed over you.

You both walked up to the gate that separated the beach from the road. Kaminari leaned against the metal gate, resting on his arms. The two of you stared at the view in a comfortable silence.

“Wow, this is nice,” he commented.

“Yeah.” There was a weird feeling, somewhat reminiscent to a flutter or squeeze, in your chest. Something that made the moment seem more magical. You could almost feel this feeling rising and beginning to climb up your throat.

More silence, then a movement caught your attention out the corner of your eye. Your mom was waving to you and held a small bag that slightly reflected in the small amount of light there was.

“One second, I need to go get something,” you let him know and ran to your mom. “Thank you so much.”

“Just don’t make this a habit,” she handed it to you. Then she glanced to where Kaminari was and squinted. “Is that your date? Is that why you were making chocolate?”

“No,” your voice came out more unsure for some reason, “well, I… was just making that for myself. This is just giri choco.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. “Don’t stay out much longer.”

“I won’t.” You quickly ran back. “Hey,” you greeted him.

“Hey. What was that about?”

“Noting important,” you shrugged and leaned on the gate. “Oh, and here.” You held the bag out to him, trying to act cool and nonchalant, but you knew you had a big smirk on your face.

He gasped and snatched it out of your hold. He wrestled with the bag, trying to get it open. Once he succeeded, he looked inside. A big smile spread across his face and he pulled it out. He held a large chocolate heart on a stick, almost like a lollipop. You thought that would be fun to make. Of course, now that he held it, you could see all the tiny imperfections. Like where a small air bubble had been, or how some chocolate had gotten on the stick. But Kaminari didn’t seem to care at all. He stared at it in awe. Like he had just been given something he wanted for years.

“Wow! Wait, did your mom just give this to you? Did you forget?” he looked over to you.

“What, no, I would never…” you laughed nervously. “But I did make it. You better like it, or else,” you joked.

“I’m sure I will! Wow. You made this?”

“Yep. Last night.”

“Thank you!” He took a bite out of it and began happily chewing.

You smiled. Your eyes locked onto the gazebo on the beach. It looked really nice. The thought of you being in it made you want to go even more. Currently there was a couple there, but then they walked out and started going down the beach. Your eyes lit up.

You looked to Kaminari, tugged on his sleeve, and pointed to the now empty location.

He grinned. “I think I know what you’re thinking and I think we should do it too.”

With a couple of small laughs you both hurried down to the beach was fast as you could. The sand made you slow your pace into a walk, but you didn’t mind. The sea air on you felt refreshing, chilling your skin. The moon was beautiful and the water reflected slivers of the moonlight that danced.

"It looks really nice." You smiled.

"Yeah... wanna hold hands?" He offered his free hand to you.

To your surprise, this actually sounded nice. And to your greater surprise, you accepted. Your hand slipped in his perfectly. Almost like it found its home. The second you skin touched, it was like electricity ran through you and jump started your heart. You were about to ask if he was using his quirk, but quickly realized that it didn't feel exactly like electricity. But the strange feeling in your heart continued. You couldn't tell if it felt nice or if you wanted it to go away.

Your feet kept sinking in the sand until you reached the pier and had to get used to walking on concrete again. You made your way to the roof on the end of the pier, hand in hand. You stood by the edge. Staring at the water.

Kaminari took the last bite. “That was delicious.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” he looked around. He put the stick back into the bag and placed it in his pocket. “Wanna dance?”

Instead of your usual joking reply, you felt flustered, but shyly accepted. He pulled out his phone and started some music up. You put your hand in his and the other on his shoulder. He held you by the waist. You tried to regulate your breathing and calm down. The two of you began spinning in time with the music. He twirled you around. You even did that one move you would see in movies. When you’d spin out, like a door opening, while still holding his hand. The he’d pull you back to him. It all felt simple, and fun.

Right as the fourth song was ending, you had an overwhelming urge to ask him something. “Umm,” then you stopped yourself when you realized exactly what it was you actually wanted to ask. But why did it feel like it was rising out of your throat, desperately wanting to be said.

“Yeah?” he looked at you. His yellow eyes made you feel like melting, an effect they never had up until that point.

“I… it was nothing.”

“Really?”

“No.” You cursed yourself for automatically saying the truth.

 “Then what is it?” He looked at you more intently.

Your mind was doing somersaults trying to figure out what to do or say. “Date, please,” you blurted out.

“Huh?”

“Well, um.” You really wished you had kept your mouth shut. You stared down and said in the most quiet voice possible, “I think maybe I kinda like you and maybe, kinda, want to go on a real date with you. Maybe? If you’d be fine with that, maybe.”

“Wait,” he stepped back as if in surprise. “You. Want to date… me?”

Your face was burning to the point you wanted to stick into the water like an ostrich. “Yes?”

He threw his arms in the air and jumped around. “Yes! I got an actual date! I’m finally dating someone! They said I couldn’t do it!”

“You don’t need to announce it to the whole world.” You laughed.

“Well, you are m—”

“I swear, if you say finish with ‘my world’ I will knock you over the head.”

He let out a big laugh. “Why? You don’t want to be my world?”

His laughter was contagious. “No, it’s cheesy, and this literally just happened a minute ago.”

You both started to walk back, and hardly even noticed when your hands slipped perfectly into one another.

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