#remember it's not only about spreading awareness for your friends but also for people who's work you don't seek out

[nori-the-cat]

can u do sungchan as a bf

Why is this so high in demand? Ladies and gents, are we collectively thirsty for him??? (Me too.) and yes, I'm doing this reading for us curious and thirsty ladies and gents.

RIIZE Jung Sungchan as Your Boyfriend

Was he okay with me doing this reading? Yes. But he was at first a little hesitant and ironically shy and pretty sweet.

Remember, this is just my interpretation based on the tarot spread. All of this are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. Take it with a grain of salt.

So, what is Sungchan like a boyfriend?

Cards: knight of cups, five of cups, the chariot, page of cups, the hierophant, seven of cups, ten of wands, the empress, three of wands, ace of wands, six of swords, the devil, and eight of pentacles.

I said he's sweet, right? He is actually a sweet guy. There are cup(s) cards in this reading. I often associate the cup(s) card with emotions and Sungchan is an emotional guy.

Is your type a man who is in tune with his emotions? Someone dominant and masculine? The kind of guy who takes the lead and initiates things? A reliable man? Well, Sungchan is a total keeper.

He seems like the kind of guy who really gets you, you know? Like, for example, he can tell when you're feeling down and will always be there to cheer you up or just listen if you need to vent.

He's aware of you and your surroundings. You won't have to worry about feeling neglected. He's most likely going to notice if you change your hair or make-up. The kind of boyfriend who is super supportive and sweet.

Imagine this scenario: You're having a tough day at work or university and feeling discouraged. You meet Sungchan for coffee and vent about your frustrations. He listens patiently, validates your feelings, and offers words of encouragement.

When things get rough, Sungchan's the kind of guy who totally gets it. He's there for you, no matter what. He would make you feel supported and safe in his arms (and biceps).

Not only that Sungchan seems like a super chill and supportive guy. He's a great listener, so you can vent about anything that's bugging you, and trust me, everyone needs that sometimes. Plus, he totally gets vibes, you know? Like, after a rough day, he'd be the first person to offer a giant hug and words of encouragement that make you feel ten times better. Sounds like a dream boyfriend, right? That's what Sungchan want to make you feel. He wants you to think he's the partner of your dream.

However, it's not easy to be with Sungchan. I also think he knows it's not easy for him either.

Sungchan wouldn't go into a relationship just because he's interested or finds the person attractive. In terms of love, he's not much of a risk-taker. He values tradition and commitment, and seeking other's opinions is important to him.

So, he might be the type to consider his parents' or friend's opinion before dating someone. I'm assuming he wants to be validated for the decision he makes. But it could also mean the person he dates is not just someone he loves and cares for. For Sungchan, his partner is a part of his life and someone he integrates into his daily routine. He wants them to be accepted in his surroundings or community.

I would say, being in a relationship is a pretty big deal for him. Regardless of the validation or not, he will most likely ask his closest ones about their opinion on his partner (you).

When Sungchan loves, he loves hard. Hence, valuing the opinion of others and not just his own is something he would do. Maybe he was raised that way? Is South Korean society influencing him? I don't know. But, for him, this leads to overthinking and indecisiveness as well as the tendency to people please.

In a relationship, this aspect of him would cause some friction. There could be miscommunications and arguments. Imagine you and Sungchan are planning a weekend getaway. You've both researched different destinations and activities, each with its own appeal. Sungchan might get overwhelmed by the options and have difficulty picking just one. He might spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of each location, even after you've discussed them together.

He is also overly responsible and takes on too much. I'm sure the fans know how many times his members have said he is the reliable one. So in a relationship, it is like he might be taking the burden when the relationship goes sour and causing him to be overwhelmed.

Personally, in a relationship, I find Sungchan to be a great guy, but sometimes he could go into overdrive. He might try to fix everything, which can be a bit much, you know? Also, he is a little bit of a perfectionist. He might want the relationship to feel and look perfect. But, no relationship is perfect? Well, tell that to Sungchan.

In another light, his perfection could translate to him feeling unsatisfied or often worried about the future. So, think about planning, like him planning a future together with you.

As a partner or significant other, he isn't just in it for a good time. He's looking for the real deal, someone to build a future with. We're talking relationship goals, not just Netflix and chill.

He's the 'I'm in a relationship to get married'. He is in it for the long run.

Despite preferring a long-term and serious relationship. Sungchan gets bored pretty easily. He needs the relationship to have some dynamic. He likes routines, but he much prefers to have some unexpected plan once in a while. Whether it's a morning road trip or going for mountain climbing, Sungchan needs excitement in his life. This is because he enjoys trying new things with his partner (you), keeping the spark alive and creating lasting memories. Basically, he wants to keep the relationship exciting.

Now, say, he's in a long-term relationship with you. Sungchan is all about being a good boyfriend. He's got your back no matter what, and your happiness is his number one priority. He is really about making the relationship feel good and look good, so making you happy is a part of his plan. Like, he wouldn't dream of ditching plans for guys' night if you needed a Netflix marathon and takeout.

Another side of him that I notice in this reading and around Shotaro is how clingy and somewhat possessive he is to the people he is close with. This side of him might be visible in a romantic relationship. Sungchan might get a liiittle jealous sometimes, you know? Like, maybe blowing up your phone when you're out with the girls or needing some reassurance every now and then. Nothing major, but just something to be aware of.

Sungchan's love language:

Sungchan's love language is most likely Acts of Service.

Being there for his partner: He's dependable and reliable, taking the initiative to cheer someone up or lend an ear.

Prioritizing his partner's happiness: This could involve things like cancelling plans to spend time together or planning exciting activities to keep the spark alive.

Taking responsibility: He takes on a lot and tries to "fix" things, demonstrating his commitment to the relationship's well-being.

Additional information:

Sungchan's energy is pretty overwhelming for me. I'm not going to lie that I feel a little intimidated. It's like he's trying to scare me away? I'm not scared, but intimidated? Defo. I had to take a break from doing this reading by distracting myself and doing other things.

I also think his intimidating face or cold-looking expression is a mask. He might be a super sensitive guy and uses the least unattractive expression to hide this side of him. He's also SUPER masculine. SUPER DOMINEERING too. His dominant energy was very much felt during the reading.

As the reading progresses, he gets more comfortable and that's when I realised it was okay to do this reading.

Also, him as a boyfriend reminds me of Taylor Swift's song Fearless and in particular the line "But you're just so cool. Run your hands through your hair." I'm pretty sure I've seen it somewhere. A picture or fan video of him running his hand through his hair and he looked hot. That's how I thought of Fearless as the song that matches his vibe as a boyfriend. The song Baby I'm Yours by Artic Monkeys also reminds me of him.

#kpop #riize #kpop tarot #riize tarot #riize sungchan #sungchan riize #nori tarot #riize x reader #riize scenarios #riize imagines #riize fluff #jung sungchan #sungchan x reader #sungchan imagines #sungchan fluff #kpop reading #tarot reading #tarot

[all-timelee]

To be loved || O.G.

//clearly I’m going through a bit of a phase here 😅\\

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: use of female pronouns

Masterlist

Being born blind certainly came with it’s challenges. It was something that made life difficult, for sure, but it also had it’s set of advantages.

Ominis had grown more than used to the dark world he navigated through daily, his other senses had seemed to adapt as well, almost overcompensating for the one he lacked. He considered himself to be a very perceptive person, especially due to the fact he lacked eyesight.

He’d been the first person to pick up on your change in attitude. His ears recognized your sudden dreary tone, he could almost feel your deamnor shift into one of resignation and weariness. It was so different from the Y/N he was used to, he wondered how no one else had noticed.

It bothered him, the way things had changed between you two, and while you tried to act like nothing was wrong, he knew better. You weren’t being rude when you turned him away, you were simply exhausted. He could tell you needed time to yourself – he had his own ways of knowing. You didn’t want to bother anyone if you could help it.

But it had been months of this and Ominis’ concern was growing by the day. The way you had become so distant with everyone, even the people who meant the most to you, was worrisome. And it just wasn’t you.

He’d spent countless days trying to approach you to talk, but the last thing he wanted was to make matters worse, so each time he found the courage to do so only to find the conversation falling flat at his hands.

When he finally managed to ask what was bothering you so much, you brushed him off, doing your best to assure him everything was normal. But Ominis saw straight through it all, despite how good at lying you thought you were.

But he dropped it. If you weren’t ready to talk, he wasn’t going to force you. At least, not yet.

—————————

“Have you noticed anything strange about Y/N lately?” Sebastian asked, pulling Ominis’ attention away from the parchment sprawled out in front of him.

“I can’t believe you’ve only just noticed,” the blonde remarked, turning his gaze towards the other boy with a sigh. “Of course I have.”

Sebastian frowned, tilting his head questioningly. “What do you mean? When did you notice?”

“I don’t know… maybe a couple months ago? I’ve tired to ask her about it, but she told me she was fine. Obviously, I don’t believe that for a second, but I can’t force her to tell me.” Ominis scratched absentmindedly at his arm, trying hard to keep his frustration to himself.

“I’m worried, Ominis. Poppy told me Y/N’s been having nightmares. They’ve gotten bad enough that she woke up screaming in the middle of the night.” That caught Ominis’ attention quickly, the blonde sitting up straighter in his seat.

“Y/N wouldn’t tell Poppy what they were about, but she seemed pretty concerned.”

Ominis could feel the frustration growing in his body. He was well aware it wasn’t fair to be upset with the girl, she was clearly dealing with something, but he just wish she’d confide in him. He hated that Y/N continued to suffer in silence when she was surrounded by friends who only wanted to help.

Ominis abruptly stood, leaving his things spread out on the common room table, making large steps towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Sebastian called after him, looking bewildered.

“I’m going to find Y/N.”

He left without another word, walking briskly towards the Astronomy tower. He remembered Y/N telling him she liked to star gaze when she couldn’t sleep, maybe that was where he’d find her.

The walk there only took a few minutes at his quick pace, but he couldn’t help the unease that had crept into his body. As he approached the tower, he felt his heart rate begin to pick up its pace.

His thoughts were racing when he finally reached the top of the steps, taking them two at a time in search for her.

“Ominis?” Her voice was soft but surprised, and he stopped dead at the sound of it. “What are you doing up here?”

He approached you cautiously, unsure of what to say next, “I was looking for you.” He heard the small sigh that fell from your lips, the rustle of your clothes as you stood.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably best we wait until tomorrow. It’s late, Ominis. You should get some rest,” you spoke softly, causing the boy to frown. He should’ve expected you to dismiss his concern yet again.

“No,” he spoke firmly, completely aware that his body was blocking your way through. This had gone on too long, he would not let this continue.

“No?”

“No, Y/N. I can’t watch you suffer anymore and I won’t let you push the help I’m offering you to the side yet again.” He spoke with such conviction that it was almost a little intimidating, especially coming from someone as kind as Ominis usually was.

You weren’t going to crack that easily though. You gently placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to push him back enough you could squeeze through. “I’m serious, Ominis. I’ll be fine, just go back to the common room.”

His hand quickly wrapped around your wrist, keeping you exactly where you were. “If you can’t trust me to help you in your time of need then why should I trust you when you say you’re fine?”

Ominis hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but he could help the hurt slowly growing in the pit of his stomach. He considered Y/N one of his closest friends, (he sometimes thought of her as more than that), she was one of the few people he undoubtedly trusted. Did she not share that sentiment with him?

“Let go of me,” you said quietly. There was a slight tremor to your voice, betraying your emotions. He used his taller frame to walk you back to the railing behind you, his arms moving to trap you against the metal. Your eyes widened, unable to fight him off.

“Please, Y/N….just tell me what’s wrong,” his tone was softer than it had been before, his words full of desperation and genuine care. You could see the worry on his features and you could feel the walls you’d put up slowly cracking.

It was silent for a few moments, you debating on whether or not to confide in him, and Ominis desperately wanting to know what was plaguing you. The tension in the air was heavy and thick, it was getting harder and harder to breathe under the pressure.

Eventually, you sighed, giving in.

“No one asked how I was doing during our fifth-year. They put a wand in my hand and suddenly it was my duty to save Hogwarts. They gave me a role to play, a responsibility to uphold.” You paused, furiously trying to blink back the wetness steadily growing in your eyes. Ominis stayed quiet, allowing you to finish before giving his input.

“No one cared that I was a child dealing with the weight of the world. No one noticed or cared about how I was feeling, no one noticed how much it was hurting me. And every single person that should’ve known didn’t care.”

Ominis slowly moved his body back, a sense of shame washing over him. He hadn’t realized how much it all had taken out of you, and now he was forcing you to relive it for some selfish need of his.

“You all just looked at me and saw my magic, not the teenager who needed help.”

The sadness in your voice nearly broke Ominis’ heart, he nearly collapsed when the first sob reached his ears.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around you, holding onto you with both arms as if his life depended on it. His face pressed against the crown of your head, letting you cry onto his shoulder while he held you close.

For a moment, you forgot all about the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. All your pain melted away the longer you buried yourself against him, feeling his heartbeat calm down your own heartache. His warmth radiated from him, warming you up in a way nothing else could.

After a few minutes, you calmed down entirely, feeling more relaxed than you had in weeks. You pulled back slightly from the embrace, looking directly at the blonde, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“I’m sorry you went through everything by yourself. If I’d known, I would’ve done more to support you,” he whispered, cupping your cheek in his palm. “And I’m sorry I didn’t notice how much pain you’ve been carrying until now.” His thumb caressed the corner of your eye, wiping the remnants of stray tears.

“I didn’t tell you all of that for an apology, I’m not angry, Ominis,” you assured, leaning into his touch. “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you.”

“It still hurts to think I failed to notice all your struggles.”

“You and Sebastian were dealing with struggles of your own, it’s okay.”

“Struggles that you helped carry. You went out of your way to help so many people, the least we could’ve done was notice how much you were cracking under the pressure.”

Without much thought, you placed your hand on top of his, pulling your lips up into a small smile. “Don’t do that to yourself, Ominis. Stop blaming yourself. You’ve always been a source of light for me, I promise.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise, “Really?”

“Really. I’m grateful to have met you.” Your words made Ominis blush deeply, making your heart skip a beat. His own smile grew wider once he recovered and he brushed the tip of his finger across the edge of your mouth lightly. A shiver ran down your spine, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I wish to always be that light for you, Y/N. If you’ll have me.” His expression seemed pleading, begging for your answer.

As if on instinct, you leaned in to press a quick kiss to his soft bottom lip. A soft gasp escaped you as soon as he responded by placing his fingers on either side of your face, deepening the kiss.

His lips were warm against yours, his tongue slipping between them and exploring every inch of your mouth. You couldn’t contain the sigh that left your lips, relaxing into him as he continued the kiss.

This was what you wanted, you told yourself. To be loved like this. To be desired. And you found it, in the arms of another human being, you found happiness.

#ominis gaunt #ominis fluff #ominis imagine #hogwarts legacy ominis #ominis x mc #ominis x reader #sebastian and ominis #ominis x you #ominis x y/n #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy sebastian #hogwarts au #sebastian sallow #poppy sweeting

[ericsprincess]

awake I love this

Your hot roommate is a bed dweller.

~~~

“Oh shit- Jesus, you scared me,” you stop in the kitchen doorway, caught off guard by the unexpected presence in the kitchen. It’s 6 a.m. and you just woke up, blearily wandering out of your bedroom to make breakfast and get ready for your shift at work. You’re barely awake and what you didn’t expect was your roommate being already there, making some toast. 

Younghoon, your roommate, standing in the kitchen, was a very unusual sight. Not only the “in the kitchen” part, but also the “standing” one. When you first moved in, you knew your roommate would be a man, and you were quite concerned about what the future cohabitation would look like. You didn’t know him, it was just a friend of a friend who gave you a tip about Younghoon looking for someone to rent his spare bedroom to. Therefore you were afraid about the endless possibilities of how everything could go wrong - he could be too messy, too loud, bring too many people home, or worse, perving on you. But you didn’t really have a choice, so you took the offer and moved in. Thankfully, none of your worries proved to be true - not only Younghoon appeared to be a completely chill guy, but it would be really easy to even forget you live with someone. 

The thing is, your roommate spends way too much time in his bed. First you thought he might be sick, but he didn’t look that way. But save for going to school and occasionally out for either necessary errands or rare outings with friends, he spends all his leisure time in bed. Everytime you feel bored and you go to his room just to chat about anything, he’s under the blankets, either scrolling on his phone or reading, or watching a movie. He plays computer games out of bed too, and you’ve seen him even study while laying down. Thankfully, he seems to be a clean person, so at least you don’t have to worry about him dwelling in some gross nest. It seems to be just an odd quirk of his otherwise normal and nice - as you were pleased to discover - personality. 

He also seems to be quite aware of this and doesn’t seem to care much. When you asked him once, why is he alway in bed, after a few weeks of living together, he just lazily turned his head to you and replied “Because I’m always ready, Y/N” and winked at you. 

So considering all that, you take a little bit of time to admire the rare sight of vertical Younghoon. 

He’s very tall and while he’s kinda skinny, his frame is broad. He’s dressed in black sweatpants and black t-shirt and you think no one should look this good, while spreading some butter on a toast, having just rolled out of bed. 

He looks over his shoulder at you, amused by your outcry. “Good morning Y/N. I’m making breakfast, do you want some? Coffee is over there,” he smiles at you, pointing at the full coffee pot. 

“Yes, please,” you reply, pour yourself a cup of coffee and sit down at the kitchen table, sipping at it and just observing Younghoon going about making more toast. You could really get used to the sight of a hot man making you breakfast every day, you dream a little. 

Speaking of men, you remember something. “By the way,” you say, “I’m going out with friends tonight so, you know..” you’re not sure how to finish the sentence and tell him that you might end up bringing someone home to fuck. But he gets it anyway.  

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I’ll have my headphones on, don’t worry,” he teases you and you can feel your face getting red. It’s not that you’re that loud, because you know you’re not. But he might have caught on to it anyways, and you’re not sure how you feel about your nice roommate overhearing you having sex. It feels both embarrassing, but also kind of hot, seeing that he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Does he perhaps like it? You wonder, but your train of thought gets interrupted by a plate full of toasts set in front of you. Younghoon sits across the table and you spend the morning just chatting about news, until you both realize you have to run to work and school respectively, and the whole topic of overhearing is forgotten. 

~~~

You come home from work and rush straight to your bedroom. You had to stay late at work to finish up something so now your time to get ready for going out is diminished and it’s barely enough to take a shower, throw on the skimpiest dress you own, fix your makeup and be out of the door. 

So you do exactly that. You take a shower and pick a tiny black dress with straps across the back. You know you look good and you want to wear something that gives a clear signal you don’t want to go home alone tonight, but at the same time, you’re not that used to being dressed this provocative and suddenly you feel insecure. You don't have time to take a photo and bother your friends and wait until they reply with their opinions so you take the only other option you have and march straight to Younghoon’s room. 

Thankfully - and as expected - he’s in his bed, just scrolling on his phone. 

“Hey, Hoonie, do you have a minute?” you ask, peeking through the opened door. 

“Yeah, sure, what do you need?” he replies, so you enter the room. 

“Do you think this dress is too much?” you ask. He looks at you, but doesn’t reply. Instead of that he just stares and you can see his eyes following down every part of your body. He’s blatantly checking you out, you realize. 

The awkward silence is getting more awkward by the second, until he just throws off-handedly “Yeah, you can go out like that. You look good,” and turns back to his phone. It feels like a dismissal a little, but you can see his ears are red. 

“Uh…okay thank you, I’ll get going then,” you beep and not waiting for his answer you rush out of his room. What the fuck was that?? Your brain screams, having just experienced this awkward moment, way too charged for how your interactions with your roommate usually went. You put on your heels and off you go. 

~~~

Well, this was a bust, you sigh while tapping code to your apartment door. Not only did you not see a single decently looking guy, but it felt like tonight was the night that every sleazebag in the city decided to crawl out. So you just stuck to your girlfriends, had a few shots and only went dancing together with them. It was fun enough, but the main point of the outing - to find someone to sleep with - completely fell through, so you came back home tipsy, frustrated and kinda horny. 

You don’t feel like sleeping yet so you head over to Younghoon’s room to see if he’s still up and maybe goad him into watching a movie together or something. You knock twice and don’t wait for a reply, just silently open the door in case he’s asleep already. 

But he isn’t. The room is dark and the only light there is coming from his laptop screen on the nightstand. There is some movie playing silently, but it doesn’t seem that he’s watching it. 

You can’t really see it well, but Younghoon’s eyes are closed and he’s squirming and sighing and his hand is moving under the blanket. Is he..masturbating? Is the first thought that comes up in your brain, but it’s just a split second until he notices your presence and sits up a little. “Hey, Y/N, you’re back already? How did it go? You came back alone?” he breathes out, trying to sound normal. 

“Uh yeah…it was tragic,” you reply but you’re not sure what to say next, your brain completely stuck on what you saw earlier and while you’re not drunk, the few shots you drank are suddenly giving you liquid courage to jump the gun. “Actually…Hoonie, remember when I asked you once….” you start. 

“Yeah?” he prompts you.

“Are you still…always ready?” you finish your question and you can see the moment he puts it all together and realizes what you are really asking. 

“Yeah..” he breathes out and you don’t waste a second and come to his bed, throw away his blanket, swing one leg over him and sit down. You can feel his hard cock under you and his hands immediately come up to rest on your hips. You’re looking at each other, both aroused but neither is sure what to do next. 

“S-sit on my face?” he suggests and you smile at him, because this is truly a fantastic idea.

You raise yourself just enough to take off your panties and then you turn and maneuver so that your pussy is hovering over his handsome face. Your dress is so short you don't even have to take it off. He grabs you by your hips and pulls down, so that you’re sitting with almost full weight on his face. But he doesn’t seem to mind, rather the opposite - he moans and gets to work. He eats you out like it’s the best meal he’s ever had, and his tongue seems heavenly and oddly huge, licking over your clit in broad strokes then moving to your dripping hole and pushing inside. His tongue is so big he can kinda fuck you with it and it feels so good you’re not sure how long you will last. You don’t want it to be over so soon, especially since you can see his hard cock tenting his pyjama pants and the size of it is also intriguing. 

“Younghoon, I’m getting close,” you moan and he just responds by flicking over your clit harder, but you’re already stopping him and easing off his face. He whines and tries to pull you back on his face, as if he hadn’t had enough of eating your pussy yet, but you laugh and drop off on the bed next to him. You look at him and he’s so aroused he looks almost feral, with his eyes glossy and the whole bottom part of his face glistening with your pussy juices. 

“Do you have a condom?” you ask and he nods and reaches back to open his nightstand drawer to take out a silver packet. You look at each other. “Always ready,” you say in unison, and start laughing, you lean forwards to take off his shirt  and he fumbles with the straps on your dress until you together manage to take it off. He kicks off his sweatpants and now you’re both naked. You look at his cock and you’re pleased to see how pretty and long and thick it is and he’s already so wet, so you open the packet and roll the condom on him. 

“How do you want to…” he starts but you’re already pushing his chest down so he’s lying flat on his back. 

“Let me ride you,” you say and you’re already climbing over him. You’re not wasting any time, you take hold of his cock and put it inside you, sitting on his lap fully. You take a few seconds to get used to it, even though you’re so wet and relaxed it’s not an issue anymore, and then you start moving. 

It gets frantic all too quickly, you’re both too horny and close to try for any kind of finesse, you’re riding him like it’s the last thing you do in your life and he’s just holding you, his hands roaming over your body, squeezing your ass and tits, until he plants his feet over your bed and start thrusting against you. It’s so wild and both of you are moaning and getting out of breath, accompanied just by the slapping and squelching sound.

“Y/N, I’m coming,” he moans and you just nod quickly, because you’re coming too and you can’t even speak anymore. You lean forward to hug him tightly while you’re shaking and spasming and you can see his cock throb and pump inside you. Your ears are ringing and it almost feels like the whole room is spinning with how strong your orgasm was. 

You finally start coming to your senses so you just slump against him. You're both sweaty and sticky but it also feels kinda nice. He reaches for the blanket and pulls it over both of you so that you won't get cold and it somewhat warms your heart a little. You were already almost starting to get worried about things becoming awkward between you, but when you look up on his face, he’s smiling kindly at you and you know everything will be okay. Maybe even… 

“You know Y/N,” he chuckles. “I must say, I like living with you a lot more than I expected I would, but now that I have had you in my bed…It kinda feels like you belong here,” he says and snuggles you tighter to his chest. 

Yeah, you think. Maybe, indeed. 

#younghoon smut #kim younghoon smut #the boyz smut #tbz smut #ficscafe #younghoon fic #kim younghoon fic #younghoon #kim younghoon #kpop smut #kpop fic #younghoon imagines #kim younghoon imagines #younghoon x reader #kim younghoon x reader #younghoon scenarios #kim younghoon scenarios #the boyz scenarios #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today. 

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently. 

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago. 

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard. 

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.  

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her. 

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is. 

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.” 

“Is that all?” 

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.” 

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down. 

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.” 

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.” 

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.” 

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.” 

“I do.” I tell her. 

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about. 

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties? 

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot. 

 Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school.  I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class.  I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write.  I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could.  I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season. 

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums. 

Please don’t feel obligated, though. 

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number. 

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply. 

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose. 

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill. 

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight. 

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show. 

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching. 

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans. 

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.” 

“What?” She snaps. 

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head. 

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar.  I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself. 

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta.  I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money? 

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins. 

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap.  It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice.  I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips. 

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed. 

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink. 

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.” 

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?” 

“What are you doing?” He asks me. 

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?” 

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it. 

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up. 

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking. 

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can. 

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?” 

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over. 

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing. 

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now? 

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?” 

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.” 

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.” 

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?” 

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.” 

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well. 

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot. 

My phone dings and I see your name pop up.  Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people. 

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled. 

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip. 

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole. 

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern. 

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you. 

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you. 

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee. 

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly. 

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.” 

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert. 

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them. 

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?” 

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.” 

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch. 

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away. 

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down. 

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?” 

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.” 

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another. 

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes. 

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.  

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying. 

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love. 

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.” 

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?” 

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.” 

Heart exploding. 

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?” 

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.” 

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you. 

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?” 

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee. 

Yeah, I missed you too. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson comfort #rockstar eddie munson #Spotify

[fallingforfictionalcharacterss]

Hellooo,

I want to request a story where Mclaggen flirts with the reader and gets to close, so she kisses her best friend Draco to get rid of him. But he gets pissed when he finds out that she only did it to get rid of him. Happy ending pls

Thank you so much for your request, I really enjoyed writing it! I feel my writing style is closer to my older fics again at this one (I´m not sure if this is a good thing yet). However, I hope you enjoy reading it!

Friends to lovers

Warnings: alcohol consumption, harassment

A/N: Just a quick note for all the girls out there (and everyone else who will ever get in a situation like this): Please remember that it is always okay to speak up if someone makes you feel uncomfortable and never be afraid to make a scene if necessary (only if you feel like it´s safe obviously), regardless what other people around you might think or say about it. These feelings are completely valid and much more important than what others might think.

Also, since this fact might get lost in this fic: Consent is always key, always remember this, regardless of what situation you are in or what the relationship with the other person might look like.

“So what do you think? The silvery or the green one?”

You narrowed your eyes as you tried to conjure the images of the dresses in your mind.

“The green one. With some silvery jewellery.”

“Maybe the necklace you got me for my birthday?”

You grinned at your friend.

“I was thinking the exact same, Pansy.”

“Oh yeah, and what do you think, Draco? Which shirt should I wear tonight? The black one or the black one?”, you were suddenly interrupted by a deeper voice.

The blond boy pouted as if he would actually think about his answer.

“I think you should wear the black one, Blaise.”, he finally answered. “It stresses your eyes.”

“You´re too kind, Draco. And such an amazing help.”

You shared an annoyed glare with Pansy, which made the boys give in and burst into laughter.

“But honestly”, Blaise stated when they had finally calmed down again, “I don’t get why you make such a fuss about it.”

“It´s just a party. The two of you should calm down a bit.”, Draco agreed with his friend.

You nudged him playfully.

“Says the boy who takes about an hour to style his hair every morning and still gets it ruined in the first ten minutes afterwards.”

Draco touched his hair, looking slightly offended as a rosy shimmer spread across his cheeks.

“A malicious allegation. It looks like that naturally."

You shared a knowing glance with Pansy, fully aware of the fact that what Draco had just stated was nothing but a lie.

“It´s nothing to be ashamed of, Draco.”, you chirped as you smiled at him sweetly.

“It´s actually very attractive if a guy cares about his appearance, you know?”, Pansy added, making Blaise almost choke on his pumpkin juice.

The four of you were sitting in the Great Hall at breakfast and the most important topic of the day was the upcoming party tonight. By now, you had finished all your exams for the year and Salazar, that was for sure a reason to celebrate. And at one of the biggest parties of the year, Pansy and you obviously wanted to dress up at least a bit, eager to escape the everyday look of your school uniforms. And to do so, you were even willing to take some rude comments from your friends.

“As if I would be in need of such things.”, Draco returned, shooting Pansy a deadly glare, while Blaise still tried to catch his breath.

“Because unlike some of us”, Blaise stated, when he had finally recovered, as his eyes darted from Pansy to you and back to Pansy, “we don’t have to put in any effort to look great.”

“While Pansy and I, unlike some of us, are aware of how we can maximize our God-given beauty. It wouldn´t hurt you to try this as well at some point.”

“So you can´t even argue with the fact that we´re just irresistibly attractive, can you?”, Blaise grinned.

“It makes me want to worship the ground you´re walking on.”, you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

But while you were making fun of it, even you couldn’t deny that Blaise, as well as Draco, actually had some kind of effortless beauty. They were attractive, you couldn’t deny it, however, you would rather bite off your tongue than ever actually admit it to the boys.

“That doesn´t mean you couldn´t optimize it though.”, Pansy stepped in. “Maybe some eyeliner for Blaise and I bet Draco´s eyes would pop out more if we would curl his lashes…”

“And maybe ruffle up his hair a bit…”, you added, laying your arm around Draco´s shoulder in a sneaky attempt to get your hand closer to the neatly styled hair, but Draco realized immediately what you were up to and caught your hand with his.

“Don’t you dare. Do you know how much time it takes me to get this done? Won´t let you ruin it just like that.”, he growled.

“So you admit it.”, you stated with a triumphant shimmer in your eyes.

Draco looked at you irritated.

“Admit what?”

“That you style it."

Your friend hesitated a moment, before he grumbled: “Never said I wouldn’t. I just pointed out that you have a tendency to exaggerate.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Sure you did.” You sighed and rested your head on your friend’s shoulder. “But jokes aside. You look… well, let’s say at least acceptable, styled hair or not.”

Draco let out a low chuckle as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you even closer.

“Likewise, princess.”

And on the other side of the table, Pansy and Blaise couldn’t hide the smirk on their faces as they watched the scene in front of them, sharing a glance in silent agreement.

Later that day, Pansy and you made your way to the Slytherin common room. Pansy had indeed chosen the green dress, certainly enjoying the compliments you had showered her with as you had seen her all dressed up. You had dressed up yourself, not looking too bad as well and certainly more than just acceptable and -as Pansy noted- even Draco wouldn’t be able to help himself but admit that you did so.

And in fact, when you entered the common room, where Draco and some of your other friends were already waiting for you, the blond boy´s eyes widened slightly as he noticed you.

“So, what do you think? Is this acceptable?”, you smiled at Draco as you walked up to him.

Draco´s eyes wandered up and down your body, as he took his time to come to a conclusion. When his eyes met yours again, there was something in his gaze that you couldn’t quite grasp, something that made you blush for some stupid reason, but it was soon replaced by a cheeky grin.

“Finally, I don´t have to be ashamed to be seen with you for once.”, he responded.

When your attempt to slap his arm in response failed and Draco laughed at your pathetic try, you took some time to eye the boy as well. The Slytherin looked unfairly good in his black suit he always wore to such occasions. It somehow made the twinkle in his eyes only look brighter, especially now, that he tilted his head as he laughed. And also…

“Your hair!”, you stated in surprise as you noticed how some strands of Draco´s normally neatly styled hair framed his face.

The grin on the boy´s face only grew wider.

“Only did so for you, love.”, he teased.

“Oh yeah, for sure.”

“So what do you say? Do you like it?”

You eyed him sceptically. But no matter how hard you tried, you had to admit that there was absolutely nothing to criticize – neither about Draco´s hair nor about any other part of his appearance. For a second you got lost in the way he smiled down at you, way too smugly, yet in your eyes still looking just perfect.

“What? Got lost for words?”, Draco chuckled as he noticed your gaze.

You snapped out of your trance and quickly shook your head, not only as an answer to his question but also as an attempt to get rid of the strange feeling in your stomach as you looked at your friend.

“I told you it would suit you. Isn´t that surprising I was right once more, is it?”, you said with a shrug of your shoulders.

“You aren’t complacent at all, are you?”

“Says you”, you countered right away.

“Are the two of you done flirting now, or do you want us to excuse you for tonight?”, you were suddenly interrupted by Pansy´s mischievous voice.

You turned around, glaring at your roommate.

“You don’t actually expect me to answer this, do you?”

Pansy just shrugged her shoulders in response, pulling a face that made you suspect you rather didn’t want to know what she would say next. So you linked your arm with hers and pulled her towards the exit.

“What are we waiting for then?”, you asked.

The party was already in full swing when you arrived. It always amazed and irritated you at the very same time when you saw the students of the different houses in harmony with one another. Since none of you were wearing your school uniforms anymore, from time to time it was hard to even recognize which house the different people you barely knew were from. However, many of them -especially Slytherins- stuck to the colours of their houses, making it easier to at least suspect where they belonged, and somewhere on the other side of the room, you noticed Luna Lovegood, who had created some jewellery from eagle feathers. People were dancing, talking and laughing, on the dancefloor, at the improvised bar someone had built up or just lazily sitting in one of the seating areas.

The moment you stepped through the door, someone handed you a drink and you carefully sniffed on it. Just from the smell, you were pretty sure that whatever had been mixed into it, the night would be a very certain kind of fun.

Pansy had already raised her glass.

“To the end of torture and oppression!”, she cheered, before taking a way too big swing from her cup.

“To the end of torture and oppression.”, you agreed laughingly before you nipped on your cup as well, pulling a face. You certainly would need to take it easy if you didn’t want to wake up with some bad headache tomorrow.

When you had finished your drink, Pansy practically pulled you on the dancefloor, while Draco along with Blaise found some poor excuse to get over to the comfortable couches, meeting up with Crabbe and Goyle.

You didn’t even know how long you had been dancing, just enjoying the music and the company of your friends, when suddenly Pansy nudged you.

“Draco´s looking over!”, she yelled into your ear.

You turned your head, looking to the boys who still remained rooted in their spots in the seating area, and saw that Draco was indeed watching you. When he caught your gaze, you waved at him excitedly, which made your friend curve his lips into a small smile. But that smile quickly fainted as you tried to beckon him over, signalling him you wanted him to join you dancing. But while Draco was extraordinarily good in standard dances, he detested the stiff frippery without any clear rules with every fibre of his body. That´s why Draco just shook his head firmly at your efforts and quickly turned his head to his friends, engaging in the conversation again.

With a shrug of your shoulders, you turned around to Pansy again.

“If you don’t want it, you already have it.”, you said, slightly disappointed, yet not actually surprised at Draco´s rejection.

“I highly doubt it´s the dancing he´s interested in.”, Pansy mumbled under her breath and over the loud music, it was hard for you to understand.

“What was that?”

Pansy sighed.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

You threw your friend an irritated glance, but Pansy didn’t seem to want to deepen her explanation.

But while Pansy just went back to dancing, you felt your throat slowly getting dry from the yelling and the heated temperatures in the room.

“I´ll get myself a drink. You want something too?”

Pansy gave you a thumbs up and you made your way to the bar on the other side of the dancefloor.

You had just grabbed your drinks and wanted to make your way back through the crowd when suddenly someone touched your shoulder. You turned around and groaned quietly. Cormac McLaggen was standing there, grinning down at you. You detested this guy more than any other student in this school, not only because he was a Gryffindor, but mostly because he had a certain reputation regarding his handling of girls. You still remembered how -not long ago- he had tried to get close to Hermione Granger, and even though you didn’t exactly like the smart-alec Gryffindor girl, you had felt slightly sorry for her when you had watched the constant inappropriate attempts to get the girl. And the fact that he was standing now in front of you with that slimy grin on his face made you suspect that he was up to no good.

“Lovely (Y/n). I see you got me a drink as well.”, he grinned, stepping even closer to you.

You resisted the urge to step back and instead straightened your back, trying not to show how uncomfortable he was making you feel already.

“It´s for Pansy.”, you answered cooly.

“But I´m sure Parkinson can get herself a drink, can´t she?”

“So can you.”

“But then I wouldn’t have a reason to keep your company any longer.”

“That´s the plan.” You really weren’t in the mood to stay quiet or polite just out of respect for a guy’s feelings, especially if said guy happened to be McLaggen.

But he didn’t seem to mind the slightest.

“You´re really a tease, (Y/n), aren’t you?”, the Gryffindor chuckled, as he stepped even closer and put an arm around your waist.

“Let go of me. Right now.”, you hissed through gritted teeth, having to use all your willpower to not hex the boy on the spot.

“Why should I?”, McLaggen responded.

You looked at him in disbelief. Was he actually that stupid that he actually didn’t get how uncomfortable he made you feel? Or did he simply not care about it? And most importantly how would you get out of this situation most elegantly. You weren’t scared to make a scene in front of all these people, but you were pretty sure that McLaggen would hold it against you and even though you would be able to get rid of him like this for now, you weren’t sure how long it would last. So you took a deep breath, trying to get calm yourself down again.

“I need to get back to my friends."

“Why? You think they would grudge you some fun?”

“This isn’t fun for me, McLaggen.” You stressed his last name, trying to make clear that you didn’t feel like you were on a first name basis with him at all.

“C´mon (Y/n).” Well, that certainly didn’t work. “We´re just getting started. I promise you won´t regret this.”

But if he wouldn’t let go of you soon, he certainly would. But instead, he pulled you even closer.

“I´ll pass on this.”

You looked around, trying to find a familiar face to get you out of your misery, a place you could save yourself to, but the only people you spotted were Pansy and Draco who were standing next to the dancefloor, their eyes wandering through the room, probably already looking for you since you had already disappeared for much longer than you had originally planned.

“What is it (Y/n)”, McLaggen whispered into your ear, making goosebumps creeping over your skin in the most uncomfortable way. “Don´t got someone else to do the job, do you?”

Oh, if McLaggen only knew how much he had just scored his own goal.

“Oh well, you know, actually I do have someone to -as you just expressed so elegantly- do the job.”

You smiled at the boy sweetly, while the Gryffindor frowned.

“You do?”

“How come you don’t know yet? I thought most people did by now.”

You didn’t even have to hide the grin on your face as you saw McLaggen looking utterly confused.

“I didn’t.”

“Well, now you do.”

You quickly wriggled out of the boy´s grip and wanted to leave with a smug grin on your face, but McLaggen caught your wrist and held you back once more.

“Who is it then?”

You hesitated for a moment before you looked over to your friends still standing a bit off the beaten track and your gaze settled on a certain blond boy, who was talking to Pansy, for now completely unaware of his spontaneous promotion. You turned back to McLaggen and locked your eyes with his, not blinking once, as you said: “Draco of course.”

McLaggen looked at you in surprise.

“Draco? You mean Draco Malfoy?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Do you know any other?”

“But I always thought the two of you were just friends.”

“Ever heard something about the term friends to lovers? Honestly, McLaggen read a book someday.”

“But this is the real world, (Y/n).”, McLaggen frowned.

You had to try really hard to hold back a groan. That guy was harder to get rid of than the juice of a Mimbulus mimbletonia.

“But my fairytale has come to life. So if you´ll excuse me now, my boyfriend”, you stressed the word, “is probably already looking for me and I really want to get back to him.”

And without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and made your way back to your friends.

When you had almost reached them, a smug grin still covering your face due to your recent award-winning performance, you turned your head around one last time, only to see McLaggen still watching you, lips pursed and arms crossed in front of his chest. Maybe you hadn’t been as convincing as you had hoped or maybe it was just his wounded pride, but if he would keep on watching you that closely, he would realize rather soon that what you had just told him had been nothing but a bluff. At that moment a second terrific idea followed the first one. And without thinking twice, you walked up to your friends with the sweetest smile on your face.

“Finally, (Y/n), what took you so long?”, Pansy asked you as you handed her the drinks.

“Sorry, I was delayed.”, you said, before you turned around to Draco.

“But you couldn’t stay away from me too long, could you?”, he teased with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, as he grinned down at you.

You returned his smile immediately.

“You have no idea.”, you responded before you grabbed him by his collar and pressed your lips on Draco´s without hesitation.

It was fireworks exploding.

You weren’t quite sure what you had been thinking when you had decided to kiss your friend, but it didn’t matter anymore.

You weren’t quite sure, how you had been expecting his lips to feel on yours, but you certainly hadn’t expected them to feel so soft against yours and fit just so perfectly.

You weren’t quite sure how you had expected to feel when you would kiss Draco, but it hadn’t been like this. You hadn’t expected the electricity buzzing through your body the moment his lips touched yours. You hadn’t expected the relief you felt as Draco didn’t push you away but pulled you only closer. You hadn’t expected to feel like air was only the second most important thing in your life as his lips slowly started to move against yours as well.

You heard Pansy gasping somewhere in the back of your mind, but it sounded muffled, just like any other noise around you. Every sensation that wasn’t linked to Draco and the moment you just shared felt just doll compared to the intense feelings rushing through your body. Every centimetre of your body was on fire and Draco´s heated skin against yours only fuelled the fire. The taste of the drink he had had still lingering on his lips felt intoxicating, just as the way your hands slowly wandered from Draco´s collar to his hair, while he pulled his arms around your waist, holding you so close, you felt as if your bodies might immerge with one another.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like this, holding each other tight, but finally, you ran out of air after all and slowly, you backed up again. As you opened your eyes, the sight in front of you was truly magical. Draco´s cheeks were rosy and his swollen lips slightly parted, as he panted heavily, his hair not only slightly ruffled anymore, but a total mess.

The Slytherin leant his forehead against yours and grinned down at you.

“Well, that was unexpected.”, he said, his voice sounding unusually raspy.

You didn’t answer and just nodded as you stared at him in awe.

You had never seen Draco as much more than a friend. You had always been really close and you had always been aware of the fact that he was quite attractive, but you had never seen him in the same way you did now. You had never felt the butterflies in your stomach somersaulting, had never had the urge to be as close to him as you did now, had never wanted to press your lips on his again so badly.

Draco brushed a strand of your hair that was falling into your face behind your ear, before his thumb traced over your cheek and finally your lips, which probably looked like a mess by now since you saw some light traces of your lipstick on Draco´s.

“So tell me, love, how did I deserve this special kind of attention from you tonight?”

For a second you were almost irritated. What did Draco think why one would kiss someone else? But then you remembered that your intentions for the kiss had originally been slightly different from the ones you had on your mind now.

When you didn’t answer and the boy in front of you saw the look of indecisiveness in your eyes, his face fell.

“Salazar, (Y/n), please don’t tell me you´re already so drunk that you just run around and kiss random people.”

The sharpness in his voice made you snap out of the trance you had been in ever since your lips had first touched his.

“What? No! No, I´m not drunk at all!”, you objected before you realized that this was probably just what a drunk person would say. So you took a deep breath and continued: “It´s just… McLaggen came up to me when I just got the drinks and was… well, he was McLaggen and he wouldn’t want to leave me alone, so I told him I had a boyfriend. And you were the first to come to my mind and I knew he probably didn’t believe me, so I thought if I´d kiss you he´d leave me alone.”

Only now that you said it out loud, you realized how stupid you must have sounded. Draco and you had never been anything but friends. What in Merlin´s name were you thinking to just walk up to a boy who had never shown any romantic interest in you and kissed him without even explaining the situation to him or asking him if he was okay with it?

“That´s what this was about?” Draco´s voice sounded even sharper than before, making you flinch.

“Look, Draco, I´m sorry. I know this probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but I… I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking, and I panicked and I somehow thought you´d be okay with this and…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, (Y/n).”, Draco cut you off. “I get it. McLaggen is an idiot and I… I´m just glad you got yourself out of the situation, alright?” But Draco didn’t sound like he thought it was alright at all.

You nodded, eyeing him sceptically.

“So, you´re okay with this?”

Draco shrugged his shoulders. When he looked at you, the warm look in his clouded eyes had disappeared, and instead, his eyes were sparkling coldly at you now.

“Obviously. That´s what friends are there for, aren’t they?”

You gulped. For some reason, the word friends wasn’t quite fitting anymore for what you saw Draco as. You hadn’t believed that a stupid kiss could ever change your feelings the slightest, but somehow it did. Even though you weren’t quite sure if your feelings for Draco had actually changed within the last few minutes or if you had just become aware of something that had been buried under all those memories and experiences of the last few years, but what you knew for sure was that when Draco called whatever the two of you were friends, your heart clenched in a way you had never felt it before.

Still, you nodded.

“Yeah, you´re right. Friends. That's what they´re there for.”, you echoed weakly and forced a smile onto your lips.

For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, before Draco finally nodded as well and took a step back.

“Well, since my job is done now, you don’t need me anymore, do you?” And without even waiting for an answer, he added: “I´ll get some fresh air now. It´s too crammed in here.”

With that, he turned on his heel, leaving you alone, staring at the spot he had stood only seconds ago.

“What in the name of Merlin was that all about?”, you suddenly heard a soft voice next to you.

When you looked up, you saw Pansy standing there, still holding the drinks you had handed her before your attack on the boy who called you his friend.

“I… this was… well, you heard what this was about.”, you responded defensively.

“Well, you can´t tell me that this was about you getting rid of that nasty Gryffindor.”

 “Would that be so hard to believe?”

“After I´ve seen the two of you almost eating each other up and looking at each other like some fools in love? Trust me, it is.”

“Neither we ate each other up, nor are we fools in love.”, you snapped back, probably a bit too harsh for just trying to set the record straight.

“Oh yeah, this was purely platonic.” Pansy rolled her eyes.

“It was supposed to look real.”, you contradicted.

“And Draco knew that too?”

No, he didn’t. He had had no idea why you had been kissing him, still, he had kissed you in a way you hadn’t even dared to dream of.

“It was just the heat of the moment. I surprised him. And he would have felt bad to turn me down.”

“Oh, yeah, you have already assumed this for him, didn’t you?”

You looked at your friend irritated. You weren’t in the mood for guesswork right now, too many thoughts were running in circles around your mind.

“I mean, you kiss that poor boy like no one has ever done before and the next moment you explain to him that it was just to get rid of some jerk?"

“I know I should have just asked him first to make sure he is okay with it, but…"

“You really think that this would make any difference?”, Pansy interrupted you.

You sighed fretfully.

“If you got anything to say, Pansy, just spit it out. I´m really not up to your games right now.”

Pansy let out a small huff, not sure if she was supposed to laugh or grab you by the shoulders until you would finally realize it yourself.

“You really can´t be that blind, can you?”

You only frowned and Pansy sighed.

“(Y/n), you are aware that this guy had been head over heels for you since forever, aren’t you?”

“Who?”

“Draco, you foolish lunkhead! Who do you think we´re talking about?”

You stared at your friend in disbelief.

“Pansy, this isn’t funny.”

“Oh, I know, it really isn’t. It almost hurts physically to see the two of you interact with each other and how you are completely clueless to everything he does, even if Draco is behaving like a complete idiot around you.”

“You´re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am, silly. Salazar, the way the two of you act is really so much more than anyone could ever make up in their head.”

“So you really want to tell me that Draco has a thing for me.” “Being hopelessly in love with you is more fitting, but if you want to put it this way, yeah, that´s what I´m trying to tell you.”

You felt the butterflies erupting in your stomach once more as your cheeks heated up to an unknown extent.

“I… I didn’t know…I mean, if I… I really had no idea…”, you stuttered, not quite sure what to say.

“Don’t you say.”, Pansy responded sarcastically, but then she grew more serious again. “The real question now is how you feel about it.”

How did you feel about it? On the one hand, all you wanted to do was run to Draco and kiss him until you were out of breath again for the rest of your life, but on the other hand, this feeling was so new and strange to you that you weren’t quite sure how to deal with it.

“I don’t know. I mean, I never even thought about the possibility that Draco and I… that we might ever be anything more than friends. It´s all we ever were, and I never had any doubts that we always would be.”

“But what about now? How do you feel about him now?”

You hesitated for a moment before you responded carefully: “Different.”

“And is this a good thing or a bad one?”, Pansy asked, but from the look on your face she already knew the answer before the words even left your mouth.

An uncontrollable smile spread across your face as you thought about the feeling of Draco´s lips on yours and the way that he had looked at you right after they had parted again.

“It´s a good thing. Really good.”, you smiled.

“Then you should probably tell him, shouldn’t you?”, she asked, the smirk on her face clearly visible in her voice as well.

You nodded.

“I will.” You shot your friend a thankful glance. “Thanks, Pansy.”

And with that, you turned around, following Draco into the dark.

The castle grounds were quiet at this time of the night. A few people were standing here alone or in small groups to get some fresh air, but still, it was quiet and from time to time you had the feeling to be all alone out here.

You weren’t quite sure how you knew where to go, maybe it was because of the strong tie between Draco and you that you had misinterpreted so badly, or maybe it was something else, but somehow your feet carried you to the place Draco was standing without fail. You spotted him leaning against the wall of the castle right away, his light hair shimmering in the dim light shining through the windows, mixing with the one of the moon shining down on you. You were pretty sure Draco had heard you approaching him, or maybe he was too lost in his own thoughts to do so, but as you got closer to him, the boy kept on staring into the void, showing no signs of recognition.

“Draco?”, your voice was soft, so soft you weren’t even sure if he had even heard you because he still didn’t react.

You cleared your throat before you tried once more.

“Draco?” This time your voice sounded stronger.

Draco however, still didn’t look at you, but a small shrug of his head signalized you that he had heard you. You took this as a sign to step even closer. Your heart was beating fast in your chest. You were scared. Scared that you might have ruined whatever relationship you had with Draco beyond repair, and if it didn’t yet, that your next actions would do so after all.

“I was looking for you.”, you spoke up again, not quite sure how to start the conversation properly.

“You found me now, didn’t you?”, Draco responded, his voice sounded cold and his eyes were still fixed on an invisible point in front of him.

You took another step towards the boy and leant to the wall next to him, not close enough to touch you, yet close enough to feel his presence next to you. You felt him tense as you did so, yet, he didn’t shy away.

A few moments of silence passed, as neither of you said a word. You looked up into the sky, letting your eyes getting used to the darkness until they finally spotted some stars glistening above you.

“It´s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”, you tried again.

Draco just hummed in response.

After another few minutes of silence, you couldn’t bear it anymore and tore your gaze apart from the night sky and looked at the boy next to you instead.

“Listen, I´m really sorry about what happened earlier. This wasn’t okay.”

“I already told you, it´s alright.”

You shook your head vigorously, even though you weren’t sure if Draco could even see.

“No, it really isn’t. I behaved like a complete idiot in there. Not only that I… that I just kissed you, but also what I said to you afterwards. I really screwed this up.”

“It doesn’t matter, (Y/n)”, Draco said, his voice still apathetic. “You did what you thought was best at that moment. And, I mean, it didn’t mean anything anyway, did it?” The last few words sounded different, a mix of bitterness and the hope that you might contradict. Before your talk with Pansy, you probably wouldn’t even have noticed, but now you did. And it almost broke your heart.

“That´s not true.”, you contradicted in a low voice.

Draco´s gaze flickered in your direction for a second, before he looked away again. Yet, he didn’t answer.

“It meant something. I mean, I know it did for you and I…” You paused for a second, thinking about what you should say next. “It meant something to me too, you know? I didn’t know that it would but it did. Much more than I ever thought it would.”

“It didn’t. Neither for you nor for me. I think we both made that very clear.”, Draco spit out, his voice not nearly as calm as it used to be, even though he tried really hard to hide it.

“Did we?”

“We did. We´re friends. That is what you said and what I said as well. We´ve always been and we always will be. Ain´t that hard to understand, (Y/n), is it? Even you should understand that.”

“I know you have a thing for me.”, you blurted out. You didn’t mean to do so. You had wanted to approach the topic more carefully, trying not to hurt Draco´s feelings or embarrass him, but the way he behaved like a stubborn child, made it impossible for you.

Draco froze for a second, before he shrugged his shoulders, looking anywhere but at you.

“And if I did? Would it change anything?”

The fact that he didn’t contradict you right away, didn’t call your assumptions ridiculous or even laughed at you, made even the last doubts you still had had about Pansy´s words disappear. Your heartbeat quickened even more, even though you weren’t quite sure if it was from annoyance or affection.

“Would it… Draco, this would change everything!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Draco this… what happened tonight… the kiss… this wasn’t just about McLaggen.”

“You said it was.”

“Because it was. I mean kind of. But not like this. I… Merlin, Draco. At first, I kissed you because of him. But all of this felt just so… When I kissed you it just felt so good, and then you kissed me back and I had the feeling as if all the stars would suddenly align. It felt as if it was the right thing to do and it made me wonder… no, it made me know for sure that this is what I want. That you are what I want. Not as a friend but as… more. And I know that I´m an idiot that it took me that stupid kiss to realize and if you are mad at me now, you got every reason to be, but if you let me ruin the possibility of… of us just because I screwed this up then you are just as much of an idiot as I am.”

You hadn’t even realized how much you had raised your voice until you fell silent again and you couldn’t hear any other noises but the muffled music coming from inside and your own heartbeat echoing in your ears.

A few moments passed and neither Draco nor you said anything. Your thoughts were racing and in your mind, you already prepared yourself to not only lose the potential relationship Draco and you could have, but also the one that you had had ever since you came to Hogwarts. But just as you wanted to apologize and leave Draco alone again, the boy suddenly let out a sigh and stood up straight again, turning around to you.

The expression on his face was unreadable as he said: “Love, you should know that I´m way too smart to be an idiot.”

It took you a moment to process his words, but as you did, a small spark of hope lit up in your chest again.

“Does that mean, that...”

“It means”, Draco interrupted you, “that I´m willing to give this a chance.” He smiled at you smugly as he saw the uncontrollable grin spreading across your face. “If that´s what you want to, of course.”, he added slyly.

“I think to know this for sure, I might need to try something again at first.”, you responded.

And this time you didn’t have to pull Draco down to you, but he leant down willingly, meeting your lips halfway.

And even though this time you were prepared for the feeling, it still almost swept you off your feet with full force and you had no doubt that your legs would probably have given in if it wouldn’t be for Draco holding on to you tightly.

When you pulled back this time, you felt neither conflicted nor confused. All you could feel was your love for the boy in front of you rushing through your entire body and the only critical thought that was left was the question of how you could have ever mistaken your feelings for the blond Slytherin for anything else but love.

You leant your head onto Draco´s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat that was far too fast, a fact that you would have probably teased him for if you wouldn’t have known that yours did just the same.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”, Draco mumbled, before placing a small kiss on the crown of your head.

And he was right indeed. You had been completely oblivious to his feelings for so long, but now that you finally knew, it was making you happier than you could ever find the words to describe.

“Merlin, I love you, (Y/n).”, Draco mumbled, making yet another wave of heat flush through your body. But before you could even answer, he quickly added: “You… you don’t have to return this or anything. I just… I wanted to tell you for so long and… well, now I just had to.” You smiled as you heard the insecurity in his voice, something he barely ever showed to others.

“It´s not like I… maybe just take me on a date first, okay? I just… I don’t wanna rush things right now if that´s okay with you.”

“Anything for you, princess.”, Draco smiled, making your heart practically melt, as you snuggled yourself even closer to him.

“But one thing you have to tell me.”, Draco spoke up after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “You didn’t just have a brainwave, did you? Someone told you that I… well that I might like you more than just a friend.”

You felt your cheeks heating.

“Maybe Pansy gave me a little hint.”, you mumbled into his chest, making Draco chuckle deeply.

“A little hint?”

“Well, maybe it was more than that.”, you admitted. “She pretty much threw it in my face and I still didn’t catch it.”

“I always knew that you´re not the fastest broom in the sky.”, he grinned, making you frown.

“At least it didn’t take me… how long? Weeks? Months? To get a girl and then not even telling her but letting others do the job.”

“Actually it´s been years, if you really want to know. But I guess now McLaggen was good for something at least once.”, Draco responded. “Doesn’t mean I won't hex him the next time I´ll see his stupid visage.”

“If you´re hoping for me to stop you, I certainly won´t.”

“I was rather hoping you´d help me with it."

“So we can serve detention together? Romantic.”, you laughed.

Draco cupped your face with his hands and made you look up at him. You could see the mischievous sparkle that you had always loved so much glistening in his eyes.

“That´s just how I am, love.”, he responded, before he pulled you in yet another kiss.

And it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes @dmslvt @Slytherin4eva @foulkryptonitepeanut @chillcheesecake @pottertea @webswatts @jaiistg

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x female reader #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco fluff #draco fanfiction #draco fic #blaise zabini #cormac mclaggen #gregory goyle #pansy parkinson #vincent crabbe #slytherin reader #slytherin #fanfic #fanfiction

[thestobingirlie]

The whole thing with Steve breaking the camera, I agree with everything you said, but also, I will forever be screaming that Nancy wasn't the only one who was in those photos and wasn't the only one who had her privacy invaded.

She was the most violated, because of the type of photo taken of her. But Steve, Tommy, and Carol all had their privacy invaded because they never consented to having their photos taken and they weren't even aware of it. (Also- Barb never consented to having her photo taken. I think she gets overlooked in the conversation about the photos because she died, and the photo was what helped find out what happened to her.)

And Steve seeing that photo of Nancy, it was just him seeing his girlfriend's privacy being violated at an intimate moment. It was him being shown that someone in the woods behind his house could get a clear photo of the inside of his bedroom. That is incredibly invasive of his privacy.

(I sent the anon earlier about the photos/camera, talking about how Steve would have realized that someone in the woods could get a clear photo of the inside of his room.)

Another thing that is really annoying over the photos and the camera smashing, not only did Jonathan invade the privacy of like 4 people by taking those photos. He developed them in the school dark room, where anyone could, and someone did, see them.

What if it hadn't been that Nicole girl who was friends with Steve and Carol and Tommy, whose reaction was to tell them what she'd seen. What if it was someone who would have bad intentions with the photos. Someone that would blackmail them over it. Someone who would try to get that photo of Nancy, either for themselves or to make copies of it to sell, or just to spread around the school.

Nancy was so paranoid about people knowing she'd had sex with Steve, that scene at school the morning after, her saying it felt like everyone knew and was looking at her differently. Those photos make that point even worse, because there was the potential of it being spread around the school.

i think some people are just so tiktok brain dead that they don’t realise someone hiding in your garden and taking photos of you is violating. (and you’re so right. people forget that jonathan captured barb’s last moments. like yeah, it’s great that that photo helped them find the demogorgon, but that doesn’t mean it was okay)

i remember a little while ago we were talking about steve’s reaction to the photos and him calling jonathan a queer. and that it’s not a jump to think steve might have been worried that jonathan does this all the time. that he takes photos through steve’s bedroom window. and that he just got lucky that nancy was there. when steve could’ve been his target the whole time. it’s actually really interesting!! but regardless, steve has every right to feel violated by the pictures.

and yes!!! jonathan develops them that school! imagine if some creep took topless pictures of you and then printed them off at school. i mean, what the fuck? like, the photos are literally nancy’s worse fear come true. and the duffers don’t let her feel a single emotion about them.

#nancy wheeler #steve harrington #anti jonathan byers #i guess #stranger things #asks #anon

[t3a-tan]

I really don't want to seen rude, but as a form of advice, i think oliver is at risk of becoming perfect, really he is patient, calm, collected, humble, kind, organized, etc. I love him as a character, but he doesnt seen to have many flaws who are really important for anrealistic character and breakes the ilusion of a perfect guy.

I mean he doesnt seen confortable talking about his past which isnt really a flaw but aside from that i really don't see any flaws or bad habits.

Really REALLY don't mean to be rude its just an observation I've made and maybe he has more flaws that I didnt notice

Btw I really like your blog it's the first sfw and not romantic g/t I have seen

I understand the thought process there, but Oliver does have flaws they just aren't as obvious as characters like Sammy or James; Sammy is allergic to asking for help even if on the edge of death, and James is insecure about his worth and coming to terms with the fact that he used to be abusive.

Oliver on the other hand is usually written as the contrast to these sorts of characters; from their perspective he is unwaveringly kind and brave, so it's something that forces them to reconcile with their own behaviors and be better. This also means his flaws aren't seen as often because their flaws are focused on.

Oliver is flawed in a quiet way; something others don't see or recognize because from the outside looking in he seems perfect.

Oliver self-isolates. He masks. He tries not to let anyone's perception slip through his facade or else.

[To his coworkers he was known as a good worker; polite, well-received, compassionate. He wasn't friends with anyone though.

This didn't upset him in the slightest. He liked his quiet life, and whenever he got close to others they ultimately ended up discovering his past, rumours would spread, and then everyone would treat him differently again.]

The 'again' part there is important. Even though he says that it doesn't upset him in the slightest, his self-isolation was learned after getting close to someone before and that not going well.

[So things were fine like this. Quiet. Sometimes a bit lonely, but nothing Oliver couldn't handle. He stuck to his routine and that was that.]

His routine is a coping mechanism; it represents safety and comfort and allows him to not ever face his own issues until something breaks that routine (namely, James).

It's only after meeting James and seeing James be vulnerable that Oliver opens up about things in his own past, and he's always quick to move on from it. He always preaches about sharing your feelings without fear but when it comes to his past he deflects.

[Oliver cut himself off abruptly, remembering once again that his cousins were missing…and probably not even alive. Oliver turned his head to the side, brows furrowing in upset.

"Well… that's that."]

A lot of his flaws are still a mystery because they aren't shown as often, but obviously I as the writer are aware of them. In some unfinished stories he dissociates, drinks, and goes into self-loathing spirals (but obviously, because those are unfinished and unpublished I wouldn't expect people to know what I haven't shown lol).

Both human and borrower Oliver were told by their mother that they should have died instead. Borrower Oliver was told that mostly in reference to his sister when she drowned— and he blames himself for not being there when she needed him. Human Oliver's family all got in a car accident instead, and so he instead wishes he had been in the car (and he was originally supposed to be going in the car too) and died there, which is what his mother said.

He should have been there.

When his cousins went missing, Oliver just happened to be missing Sammy's birthday that year (both human and borrower Oliver), and he wishes he hadn't. I'll show a bit of an unfinished story;

[If Oliver knew that would have been his last chance to see them it wouldn't have mattered what he was doing— he would've been there. He should have been there.]

To James when he saw Oliver's wall of notes and pictures he saw it as a memorial of sorts; he found it sad but didn't recognize what it actually was; a constant reminder of the mistakes he made and who suffered because of it. Because yes, Oliver does blame himself even though he had very little control over how those tragedies played out.

[Oliver looked upon the note that he had attached to the wall as he sat at the edge of his bed; a mug of tea clutched so tightly in his hands that the tips of his fingers were turning white. It was no longer hot. He wasn't sure how long he had been reading and rereading the note, but it continued to taunt him again and again.]

Anyway. I hope that helped explain him a bit better— Oliver isn't supposed to be perfect, but he is definitely supposed to seem perfect. That's why I usually have other characters being the perspective of the story and actively thinking about how perfect Oliver is— when Oliver is alone and it's his own perspective, that's when you get the juicy bits.

Thanks for reading my stories ^^

#g/t community #ocs #ask box #g/t writer #g/t artist #ask

[roses-dreams-andthorns]

꧁༒☬Love is a Dangerous Game.☬༒꧂

Trigger Warning: Yandere themes, mentions of murder, 'suicide', obsessive and possessive behavior, non-consensual photo taking.

꧁•⊹٭𝙼𝚊𝚖𝚊, 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜.٭⊹•꧂

꧁•⊹٭𝙼𝚊𝚖𝚊, 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜.٭⊹•꧂

꧁•⊹٭𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚣𝚎.٭⊹•꧂

꧁•⊹٭𝙼𝚊𝚖𝚊, 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜.٭⊹•꧂

ᴬᶜᵉ ᵀʳᵃᵖᵖᵒˡᵃ ˣ ᴹᵃˡᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ⁱˢ ⁱᵐᵖˡⁱᵉᵈ ᵃˢ ᵐᵃˡᵉ, ᵐᵃˢᶜᵘˡⁱⁿᵉ ᵗᵉʳᵐˢ ᵘˢᵉᵈ.

From the first time he had met you, he expected you to be just another annoyance, but his mindset did a full 180 the more he stayed in your presence, and hung out with you. He became obsessive and craving of your attention, he gives angered glares to any other who speaks to you, and behind the scenes, threatens them to stay away from you, lest they wish to face the consequences. And all without your knowledge. You had grown to question why people had avoided you, especially if Ace was nearby, its like they're afraid of him, and yes, they are. But you don't know the exact reason why.

Not only is he obsessive in the way that he is also possessive, but he is also just straight up obsessing over you in general. Don't be surprised if you go rummaging through his closet or dressers in his room, and find thousands of photos of you you don't remember him taking, with hearts surrounding them, or a list of names of people you had spoken to, all highlighted in red, with some of these names being crossed out... is it a coincidence that this one person who is crossed out on the list here went missing not too long ago? Or this other person was found at the bottom of a lake? Or this person was found murdered? Or that this person had committed 'suicide' about a day ago? You are beginning to have doubts...

From the outside, Ace seems like he has no knowledge of what's going on with the vanishing students and murders, and continues to joke around like no one's business, but behind the scenes, out of your eyesight, he has the blood on his hands, and the knife in his hands. He doesn't understand why you make him feel this way. He never expected that he would fall for such a kind... charming... handsome... hot guy... you run through his mind like its a treadmill, you're all he sees, anyone else you interact with is seen by him as a peasant. A peasant that is trying to take away his king of hearts. He can't let that happen now, can he? He is the only one who can have eyes on you. Anyone else will be eradicated, deleted from your lives, and no longer in your way and trying to harm you

It is quite unexpected, but also expected that he would be a manipulative type, always going off about how "so-and-so is a total jerk! You should not be around them!" or "This person is only trying to hurt you!" and is it working? That all depends on your mindset.

Can you tell he is manipulating you? Well what can he do now? Manipulation is the only way he could ever think of to get closer to you, and keep others away, yet here you are, completely aware of his toxic actions, and now you're trying to push him away. He was not prepared for this, no... no, no, no, no... He is lost, what can he do to win you back? What can he do to make you his own? He must find a way.

If you are oblivious to the manipulation, he will keep manipulating you until everyone you had interacted with ever in your life is pushed out of the way, leaving him a lovely red carpet runway to your heart, decorated in love hearts and doves, promising to protect you from all harm, when in reality... he is the one who is harming you, by spreading misinformation about friends, and causing you to push them away, leaving you to fall further prey to his manipulation.

The meaning of the name "Trappola" does happen to be... "Trap" in Italian. so lets just say... You have fallen into his Trappola... and I don't think there's any means of escape, unless some kind hero comes by to save this little bachelor in distress.

Trey / Benny Trappola ur Ace favoritism is showing...

#yandere #disney twst #twst x reader #twst ace #ace trappola x mc #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola #yandere ace trappola #yandere ace x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ace #twisted wonderland ace trappola #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #male reader #x male reader

[zredarts]

HEY HEY GHESTIE CONGRATS MR DEWDROP LOVED YOUR STICKER AND PUT IT ON HIS GUITAR IM SURE HE LOVES IT HES LIKE OH THANK YOU GOOD JOB ITS SO CUTE

HI HI! why thank you! Everyone is being so nice about this, its very warming since i didn't even know he would do this.

I already talked about it on twitter, but i think I'mma go into detail here for those who have no twitter, and also because i have more space for rants.

For starters, im a very anxious person. I am aware of everything and everyone in my surroundings, and i don't like to bother people. Miraculously, i made some friends there and they helped me be more comfortable (this was my first concert ever, not even first ritual just concert in general). I tried showing Sodo my sticker during ritual, but to no avail he didn't see it, and i don't blame him it must be hard to see with that mask, and i was in an awkward place (between middle and right stage, front row). One of his picks also accidentally hit me in the face but thats another topic lol

After ritual they tweeted about some event going on. We decided to go check it out since they said they'll be around. I didn't think we would see them but sure enough they arrived to take a look a bit later. My mind was set on giving him the sticker because it was now or never, but i didn't feel comfortable doing so, and so my friends just pushed me near him. I was afraid he would reject it, and at first i felt like i was being a bother, but as soon as he realized i was handing him a sticker his face just lighted up with a smile. I still remember his exact words when he went to grab it. He thanked me, looked it for a bit and said it was adorable. When i tell you this man was the sweetest and spoke to me softly im not exaggerating, he was such a sweetheart. After that i had to leave immediately because again, insecurities and i was shaking very badly so i turned around and went back to my spot. I dunno if he wanted to say something about it, cuz when i looked back he had come closer to my friends and they were talking about something. They left soon after, i think they went to see another concert playing on that venue.

That said, i was certainly sure he may have lost the sticker because of how many people were there and the probability of it falling on accident, and i forgot to give him a backup. I didn't mind if he would have lost it, it was just a sticker after all, but almost a week later i get a message at 3 am from a fan (if you're reading this, thank you so much i wouldn't have known without you) who recognized the sticker from my Instagram story. I didn't have words, i actually was mentally denying the fact it could be my sticker because thats such a great honor. I saw all the comments from people saying that was so on brand for him and that the sticker was cute and it really made me feel nice about it. Even now i still can't believe he liked it enough to be like welp this is going on the guitar lmao

It goes to show how a simple gesture as using a sticker can mean so much for others, and in this case it really made me feel more confident about it. It makes me wish i could thank him for it, a proper thank you. Seeing how they said they had one of the best tours at my ritual, im sure they're gonna come back at some point, so hopefully by then I'll be able to thank him properly, because this not only helped me with my own self esteem, but also with my art career, as seen as people really liked it and would want stickers too.

And thats what I'll do, hopefully my adhd allows me to lol. But thats basically the gist of it, sorry for the long rant. Theres so much that went on, and so much going on in my mind. I appreciate everyone who's spreading the word, and all the kind words about it. And i appreciate Dew for giving my sticker a special place in his heart. Thank you for reading

#the sticker ghoul will come back #dont take that as a promise tho #the band ghost #ghost band #sodo ghoul #sodo ghost #dewdrop ghoul #nameless ghoul #zredasks #ask box #ghesties

[jarvis-cockhead]

Rejection sensitive dysphoria awareness & how I cope

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert, this is advice from my personal experiences aimed to help others who experience RSD, as I have a long term experience with the condition and don't often see people talk about how to manage it. I've had to figure out a lot of it myself so I wanted to share my methods for anyone else who might find them useful :] please if you think you experience RSD or any other neurodivergency do your own research, or ask for a professional opinion. Also please feel free to say so if you think my methods are actually bad/harmful or if you have any other methods, because like I said, this is just stuff I've figured out for myself, I don't claim to know it all!

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is, in short, a severe emotional reaction to real or perceived rejection. It's most commonly linked to ADHD however it is likely something which just more commonly develops in people with certain neurodivergencies (I have a diagnosis of autism, for example). It hasn't been researched very much so there isn't that much information out there about what it is or how to manage it, but it's something which can significantly affect your wellbeing and your relationships with others. At times I find it debilitating. I've experienced it for a number of years now and I've spent a lot of time on self awareness and analysing RSD based anxiety. I hope this not only helps others with RSD but helps to spread awareness of the condition- if you think you experience RSD you absolutely are not alone.

The anxiety lens

It can be really tricky to identify which thoughts are real and which are not because the nature of RSD is one which is paranoid and always jumps to conclusions, and the phrase 'what if' is very powerful. One way I've learnt to deal with this is to remember something very important: when anxiety is present it is like a lens you will look through and it will cloud your judgement of what you see. If you are experiencing RSD and are worried your friend is upset with you, you will listen to them/read their messages as if this is true, and this is where your 'proof' comes from. RSD is triggered by perceived rejection, and of course this will be worse and more frequent when anxiety is clouding your perceptions. Reminding myself of this is probably the most useful method I have found to deal with RSD because it follows the RSD anxiety path as far back as you can take it. There are no 'what if's, the anxiety will be making you see things from an altered perspective.

Anxiety sources

Are there any other reasons your anxiety could be worse right now? Stress and hormonal changes commonly exaggerate my anxiety and this frequently manifests as RSD. Identifying this doesn't always make the anxiety go away, but it does give some peace of mind of the likely real reason for why I am suddenly feeling so much worse.

Social exhaustion

I find I can swing into a very low spot very quickly after seeing friends, which is most likely just social exhaustion but because it has come directly after socialising it can feel as if there must be a reason, and the RSD reason is that the social interaction must have 'failed'. I also find this especially difficult with my friends who also experience social exhaustion and also need a period of recharge because this could mean they aren't as chatty as usual, which of course feeds the RSD. Remember that you (and possibly your friend also) are likely just tired, and give yourself time to rest.

The better it is, the worse it gets

A cruel side to RSD I feel is that the more I care for someone, or the more fun I had in a social interaction, the worse my RSD can be. I can also find it hard to understand why someone is friends with me or accept that this is the case, and I get very scared of losing the people I care most about. However more often than no your friends do care about you just as much as you do for them, or they wouldn't be your friends at all. Your friends love you and they will not just abandon you or reject you for no reason, or even if you do make a mistake, because mistakes can be talked through and overcome. The RSD conclusion jump that your friend suddenly hates you is so incredibly unlikely (and if it does happen then that doesn't sound like much of a friend in the first place.)

Help! my friend has disappeared for a day (or longer)

This is never fun, RSD loves it when this happens because there is so much room for 'what if's. You must just remind yourself that it's very unlikely you're the reason they've disappeared, especially when you've not done anything deliberate which would upset them. They really are most likely just busy!

One good way to help deal with this long term is to have strong communication foundations where possible. Let your friend know this is something you struggle with, and let each other know that if there is ever a real issue, you can talk about it. Doing this will give you more room to breathe and more reassurance that there are no issues because your friend has not told you there are. It also isn't really your responsibility to be hyper aware of what you might have maybe possibly done 'wrong', it's up to the other person to tell you if there's an issue. Remembering that you're allowed to not worry about whether you've accidentally done something wrong can take a lot of weight off.

Help! I can feel myself trapped in an anxiety spot/loop

Sometimes while anxious if I talk to a friend I can get trapped in a loop of needing and seeking reassurance, knowing that I'm on the verge of an RSD based breakdown. My best advice for this is to just tell your friend you think you are entering/are in an anxiety loop- I find that exposing the anxiety makes it easier to deal with, while not actively asking for reassurance. Asking for reassurance in the moment is something I try to avoid wherever possible. While it can make things feel really hard and like youre suffering alone, I personally try not to so I can build up my resilience, as doing so can just reinforce the anxiety. Plus while I'm in an anxious state that reassurance sometimes doesn't do much anyway because I'm still seeing things from a perspective of anxiety.

I worry that my RSD will upset my friends or offend them

RSD can make you feel horrible for doubting your friends, and it can feel scary admitting any of these feelings to them for fear that they'll be offended you've thought that way about them, or that you're blaming them for your RSD. But good friends will listen and understand and know this isn't what you intend. To help, approach conversations from the angle of 'my anxiety causes me to feel this way', not that they themselves cause you to feel this way.

Why is this even happening to me?

RSD is suspected to develop from certain sorts of experiences in life, and is more likely to develop in those who are neurodiverse. Identifying what might have caused my RSD has given me a lot of peace of mind and reassurance that I'm not just going mad- these are responses based on past experience.

Conclusion

Managing RSD, from my experience, is a lot of building resilience and healthier thought patterns. It never truly goes away but you can get better at minimising it's effects. Introspection is key to deconstructing RSD and tracing it back to the sources. It's usually never actually about the other people around you, despite it absolutely feeling that way. I hope at least some of my experiences could be helpful to anyone who experiences RSD- best of luck and best wishes if you do :]

#if this helps even one person it will be worth posting despite how scared i am (which ironically is probs the RSD talking) #rejection sensitivity #rejection sensitive dysphoria #RSD #autism #actually autistic #ADHD #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #disability pride month

[pixiecaps]

heres a long recap on qjaiden and qfoolish’s relationship, their ties to cucurucho, and recent lore

it mainly started around the time qjaiden was doing her cucurucho missions and there was a lot of distrust on the island towards her. qfoolish seemed to be one of the few people who genuinely didn’t seem affected by her working with cucurucho. mainly due to the fact he wanted to befriend cucurucho for a cloud. so over time they got closer as friends over this very thing. they both held some type of connection with cucurucho. she eventually shows foolish her base at bobby fields which is a very special place for her. only inviting those over who trust her. foolish & leo were in-fact the second people she ever showed this base to. roier the first and cellbit & richas the third. over time she’s one of the few people who gets to witness and hear about all random interactions foolish has with cucurucho. i feel like over this time they were dubbed cucurucho buddies. there’s also the blue bird mission where jaien is tasked to go to coords which led to a dangerous dungeon but no worries because foolish, cellbit, and bad all follow her invisible (though she was aware of this) because they worried something may occur to her. all of them seemed bonded even closer after that and they called themselves the jaidens. also important to mention foolish and cellbit are technically related since foolish is roier’s father and cellbit is roier’s husband. which makes foolish cellbits father in law.

now to present time foolish gets given the task of arresting tazercraft. when he went to go do that tazercraft were giving jaiden a haircut. so somehow she ends up roped into the arrest and is one of the few witnesses. fast forward theres the interrogation between cellbit and foolish. foolish calls in jaiden to be the witness and lawyer. fun fact there was a court trial previously on the island and jaiden was a lawyer and she slayed. moving along, foolish doesn’t say anything important to cellbit so jaiden tells cellbit she’ll take charge and get the real scoop since her and foolish are bonded. she does this for cellbit because her and cellbit also have a close relationship due to roier her bestie being married to him and then later gaining a genuine respect for each other. remember he was the third person she showed her base too and actually showed the entire base to including the basement. cellbit was also one of those few people who was empathetic towards her during the distrust period. so you could say they’re pretty tight. in this moment she is deliberately choosing to help cellbit.

so afterwards she does just that and speaks with foolish about everything to learn about what truly occurred. and she got all the information from him! however this is where some things begin to get a little mixed up. foolish lies to her about his conversation with cucurucho in an attempt to make himself perhaps look better, maybe more understandable on his part, or even just for some spice (who fucking knows its up to you to have your own interpretation). in this lie he tells jaiden that he was given two options arrest pac and mike or kill richarlyson. the richarlyson part a lie. and jaiden having no reason to distrust foolish or question him as foolish has never once lied to her before believes this. and empathizes with his situation and says she would’ve done the same. she has a strong passion for protecting the eggs as do many of the other island residents. so then after this conversation ends she runs off back to cellbit and informs him of what she was told. unknowingly spreading this lie. this is another instance where things get interesting she once again goes back to speak with foolish. and tells him that she told cellbit about what occurred. foolish admits he assumed she would do that. a moment that insinuates the lie to be calculated on his part. now jaiden here says she isn’t sure if she wasn’t supposed to tell foolish she told cellbit all the information but she felt she had because she felt bad about lying and going behind his back. it is her friend at the end of the day. throughout their conversation it really appears that jaiden doesn’t want this conflict to blow up outta proportion, to me i interpreted it as her character really not being fond of conflict. or at least conflict between her closest friends. despite foolish knowing she told cellbit his trust and bond with jaiden didn’t seem to waver at all. friends who cucurucho together stick together i suppose (bad joke)

the next day foolish gets a couple threats from both forever and fit about the whole arrest situation and betrayal. after hearing foolish decides he’ll try and search for the prison but no luck. then he tries to learn for mr mustard. this is when leo suggests doing a summoning circle to see if this capybara will show up. jaiden logs on just as foolish finishes and he immediately invites her to tag along. foolish, leo, and jaiden did the ritual together and sadly mr mustard was not summoned however cucurucho was. they’re both surprised but they go along with it. foolish takes this chance to ask cucurucho what happened with the arrest, if they were wrong about who kidnapped mr mustard and if they could release pac and mike. and this is when cucurucho asks a very important question. “your decision. alone or accompanied.” foolish responds saying the second option. so important to note foolish had no context about what was going to occur or be said after he replied so he just wanted jaiden to be there. he also doesn’t read this book aloud which leaves jaiden with no context to what was happening as well. im quoting the moment here because i think it’s important to understand why jaiden even tagged along.

foolish: yeah! i think you know it’d be more fun that way. well maybe i dont-

cucurucho: yes

foolish: well congrats jaiden we uh-

jaiden: what?

foolish: okay yeah nevermind yep

cucurucho: follow me

foolish: following

jaiden: okay? well i’m coming too. come on leo

so they follow cucurucho and it takes them to a room in the prison. both never having been there or being sure whats about to happen. this is where cucurucho offers foolish the detective position and the mr mustard report as sorta a reward for the arrest. the report details that mr mustard was last seen at the hide and seek arena and that crushed oranges had been found at chume labs most likely signifying a struggle, and lastly that the murder mystery arena still had to be investigated. foolish questioned if cucurucho was completely sure about all this information and all it replied was “do you want to find mr mustard”. after everything was said foolish asked cucurucho if this was a public thing? cucurucho said no. this position was meant to be a secret. then he asked what exactly stops jaiden from telling others? cucuruchos told him “you said you wanted company. it is your choice. :)” which to me is super intriguing because it insinuates that foolish could’ve been doomed to fail from the start. if someone like bad had been with foolish and he had replied to be accompanied then immediately he would be compromised so cucurucho seems to have definitely been ready to brew some conflict. some important things to note foolish’s decision wasn’t impulsive he surprisingly thought this through and asked many questions. even asking leo for her opinion and if they wanted him to do it. he did ask about pac and mike and each time cucurucho refused to tell him where they were or the fact they had already escaped. foolish’s attempted to also get jaiden a detective role but cucurucho did not seem too into the idea replying with a “no. maybe.” and ended up not doing that. after he agreed to the detective position and the case jaiden and him spoke. she swore secrecy to foolish and that she would not be telling anybody about what occurred. to directly quote her,

“no i’ll be honest i didn’t feel good about tattling. so i hereby swear secrecy to you. i feel like this is bigger than me i don’t want to fiddle with it you know. if you want to tell people, tell people but my lips are sealed”.

that explains her position on everything and why she hasn’t informed others. there’s also a moment after all the cucurucho stuff where bad, foolish, and jaiden hang out but nothing really important happens since neither foolish or jaiden spilled anything to bad.

then rather recently she logs on (today, july 29th, when this was posted). bad decides to interrogate her after his conversation with foolish since she was with foolish yesterday. after all that she goes and tells foolish what happened with everything and that she wasn’t mentally prepared and apologized for the slip up. they then sort their stories out so that they’re on the same page about everything. foolish decides he won’t tell them about cucurucho showing up despite jaiden’s slip up since he wasn’t the one to admit it. she also makes the joke about staying at her base at the time being during all this foolish stuff so she doesn’t get bothered further. foolish asked jaiden if she wants to be kept in the loop and told information about anything that happens in the future and her answer to that is that it is completely up to foolish. up to this point foolish still hasn’t told her that he lied and he doesn’t seem inclined to at all. so i suppose we’ll have to see what he decides in the future. later a disguised bad and pierre calling themselves The Justice League torture foolish to get him to try and confess and admit that slip up to be true. he does not do that at all and says perhaps jaiden was lying or jaiden was the one having the conversation with cucurucho but not him. The Justice League says they would’ve included jaiden in this torture but she had logged off (lol she escaped just in time).

and i think that is everything up until this very present moment. i am normal about these characters as you can tell. if i made typos. no i didn’t 👍

#if anybody reads this hi 👋 #also i purposefully didnt dive into any of the betrayal or impacts or stuff like that this PURELY a recap on qjaiden and qfoolish and what #has happened in the lore between the two #long post #this is honestly a self indulgent post #qsmp

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: What You Want

This week is the final week for @the-slumberparty and that means it's time to wrap up my Andy Barber "Want" series. I was struggling to make this fit the AU prompt... but then I realized the whole series is pretty much AU (I only write Andy AU's)... but also if I made him a college professor... that would be the new element.. so that's how I made this all work.

If you haven't read the first two parts of this, here are the links: What Women Want, What Andy Wants.

Title: What You Want

Pairing: Andy Barber x female reader

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context. 

The first hockey night after you find out Andy wants you is awkward.

You want to tell him you know, but you promised your other best friend you wouldn’t say anything.

Unfortunately, Andy doesn’t say anything either.

You’re so hyper aware of every movement he makes that you don’t even remember who the two teams playing even are. And it’s almost a relief when the game ends and Andy goes home.

It takes you another two days to decide that you’ve been quiet for too long for fear that he’ll reject you and your friendship will end because of it. But knowing he has feelings too gives you an extra boost of courage.

One call to the secretary for his department at the university provides you with his office hours and you plan from there, taking the afternoon off from work.

Armed with a poster board that says “Do You Like Me?” with yes and no written below with check boxes next to them, you position yourself in the green space below his office window.

You stand there alone for about ten minutes before people start to notice you, just like you hoped. You keep your eyes focused on his office window, hoping someone will say something.

After what seems like forever, Andy finally appears in his window to see what the commotion is all about. His expression goes from curious to recognition then he disappears from the window.

Pulling your eyes from the window to the door of the building, you wait for him to appear, suddenly very aware of the crowd that has gathered to see what’s going on.

Then Andy strides out of the building, a huge grin spread across his face and a bright red sharpie in his hand.

You block out the gasping crowd as Andy draws a giant check mark in the yes box. Then he takes away the poster, dropping it to the ground before he kisses you.

#navy and roo’s sleepover #theycallmebecca #theycallmebeccawrites #Andy Barber #Andy Barber fanfiction #Andy Barber fanfic #Andy Barber fan fiction #Andy Barber x you #Andy Barber x female reader #Andy Barber x y/n #Becca writes drabbles

[belong2human-kind]

| FIC SHARING |

Description: platonic, soft, angst, adult Sabine Wren, adult Ezra Bridger, jedi and mandalorian duo;

Sabine's fear

Context: after years apart, Bridger is finally back and reunited with his found family he missed so deeply. But wrong to think this means easy times are coming; unfortunately Thrawn could not be captured yet. The biggest threat to the rise of a new empire is walking around, freely, spreading ideas and inspiring the corrupted minds left behind by Vader and Palpatine's fall. Sometimes, there are things that only a jedi can do. Sabine is fully aware of this, but it doesn't make easier for her to deal with her biggest fears from the past striking back at her. Especially when they involve how sensitive she is about her best friend.

[ ... ]

During the meet up, her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else, away from all of that, almost like Sabine already knew what future held for her. She was physically exhausted of all of those meetings, tired of her new chaotic life, distressed by the fact that she spent years missing her best friend's presence, and once he was finally back, she couldn't enjoy time with him because the threat of a war was knocking on the door. Again. She survived so many wars until now, she had fought and lost so much. How much more would she need to give? Could she ever really be at peace?

Her thoughts snapped back at reality once Hera's voice trembled.

—Ezra. This one is on you.

Hera's voice sounded conflict, and it was visible: her body posture tense, tired as well, intimidated by her own words, scared of all the possible outcomes. She, like Sabine, had also spent years without the boy who had grown on her as much as her own son. Sending him on a solo mission was still scary for her, but she had no other choice. None of them had.

Ezra kept a calm smile in his face, nodding to Hera, although he could feel how tense she was. And once realization hit Sabine, her eyes wided and her mouth dropped, speechless. Ezra felt her disturbance growing, but before he could look at her, Sabine made her voice loud, shouting in protest.

—He's not going. I'm going.

—Sabine... —Hera started, as people started dissipating. —This mission is assigned to him, dear.

She said in a soft manner, calling Sabine a sweet nickname. She developed that habit since Kanan's passing, being softer on Sabine during their grieving times together. Ezra held a concerned look in his face, now directly staring silent at his friend. She was in pain, as much as she fought to no let anyone else there see it.

—Hera, don't start now, nuh-uh. Not happening. You know I won't turn this one down and obey you. Sorry.

Sabine said a little bit harshly, putting her helmet on, as she would always do in her personal attempt to hide, run away and protect her body to avoid dealing with conflictuous feelings, immediately directing herself to the flying station where Ezra was supposed to go, avoiding any contact. She was determined; she wouldn't let him go, not this time.

Both him and Hera left out a big sigh, and she was already getting mentally prepared to have a talk with Sabine, when Ezra called her out.

—Hey, don't worry. I'll go talk to her. I think she needs to hear from me now.

With a nod, she accepted.

—Thank you honey. Good luck on this. And on your mission too. Remember to be safe back there and-

Ezra walked towards Hera giving her a playful squeeze, like a grown-up son comforting his mom.

—I will come back Hera. Thanks for trusting me. —He spoke with confidence and caring.

—You know I always will. We all do, Ezra. She trusts you too, she is just-

—I know she does. I have never slightly doubted. —He interrupts. —I'll go now. May the force be with you.

Hera gave him a faded smile, muttering him a low "Be safe" and "may the force be with you too" as he left. Not too steps away, he found Sabine, breathing heavily while picking up her purse to get on the ship.

— Are we stealing each other's missions now? —He started, leaning towards the ship and staring at her. —Great, cause the one you were assigned was so much more cooler anyways.

She did not answer him back, trying her hardest to ignore. But one thing this blue haired man was especially good at was getting the mandalorian warrior's attention.

—Hey Bine, if were switching missions, can I have your guns? It's not like you don't already have my old saber, I think it would be fair, you know, if you-

—Ezra. Stop.

She demanded in a serious tone, taking her helmet off. His smile got smaller as he saw how trembling her skin was, although she looked mad, he could see that she was hurt. Her mind probably wasn't being kind on her.

—You're shaking. —He said calmly.

—You're a good observer. Now, anything else?

Silence filled the spaces between them, and with a deep sigh, he chose the words on his mind carefully.

—Sabine.... you know I have to go.

—Fine. Yeah.

More silence. Ezra stepped closer, his concerned face only growing more as her reaction was even colder and distant. She was trying so hard to not make it obvious. And yet it still was.

—Fine?

—Yes. You go, I go. Simple. You're not going alone.

—Bine...

—We're losing time. Let's go.

She tried to walk away towards the ship, but Ezra gently held her arm, making her slightly more irritated.

—Ezra, let go. We'll be late.

—Sabine, I need to go.

—No. Shut up. You stop right there. —She used her pointer finger to make sure he would back off, but it didn't work. Ezra placed his hand on her shoulder, as she spoke, trying to call her out as she continued speaking. —I'm not letting you go alone, why is it so complicated to get that?

She sounded so frustrated and distressed, holding back so badly from breaking down.

—Bine, I know how scared you are about—

—Oh no, you do not know, you have no idea how-

Her words came out so harshly that Ezra's mouth collapsed together, shutting immediately and having him step back worried. She notice immediately and tears began to form in her eyes, and she looked down desperately.

—Ezra, no, I'm- I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry. —Her tune went low again while mumbling.

—Don't worry. I know. —He reaffirmed calmly, almost whispering as he got close to her again. —And you're not really wrong Sabine, I do not know how bad I affected you when I decided to leave that day. I can have an idea, like I had back then, but... in the end of the day, I can only know how I felt doing that. I see your hurting, I sense it. But you're the one feeling.

A tear fell down her cheek as she tried to look away, trying to stop more of them from coming. Ezra chuckled seeing her failing.

—I'm going to punch you. —She said joking and feeling his hand at her cheek.

—Well if makes you feel better, I guess I can handle that. —He chuckled as he dried her tear.

—I... I don't want you to go. —She whispered.

—I know. —He murmured as low as her.

—I don't want to lose you again.

They stood in silence for instances before Ezra stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her in a cozy hug that she gladly accepted.

—You know that you never will really lose me, right Sabine?

She kept in silence as her body betrayed her with more tears, ones she was not proud of, but she let them be.

—Time and space can make our ways separate, but... something I learned from Kanan was that people we love are never really gone, you know? You will always have me, even if not physically, you will always be part of my story as I am part of yours. I'll always carry a bit of you in me and the same goes for you. I will never be really gone. I promise, okay?

His words were comforting, he had always been pretty good on that. But she didn't want that. She wanted assurance. She wanted certainty.

—Can you promise me now that you will come back?

—You know I cannot.

She broke the hug, her face holding up a mixture of despair, confusion and anger.

—What?

—I can never guarantee you when I will be back Sabine. It's not possible to predict that. I take my promises pretty seriously, you know that. I won't make you a promise I may not be able to honor.

—You know what? I hate you and Ahsoka's jedi stuff. It gets to my core in a way I don't think you can understand. —She rushed out frustrated, making Ezra laugh and she punch his shoulder. —Ezra!

—I'm so sorry, I can't handle, it's too funny.

—How can you laugh? How can you be so calm and unbothered about this?

He smiled patiently at his best friend, looking up for some seconds, almost getting lost in a thought.

—I'm not sure? —He said with a warming giggle. —I guess this can be Kanan's influence on me. It's not like I'm not scared of losing you, I am. I missed you badly those years, it was... pretty rough on not knowing whether you were safe or not, not knowing if the crew survived, and if in the end I'd get to reunite and see you again, be with all of you, you know? But I had to do. I had to do what I did, or else you and everyone I love, our crew, my people, my planet... nothing would survive. I had to risk and have faith on you. Faith that you'd be okay, taking care of everyone and yourself. I couldn't guarantee that I was coming back, just like I can't guarantee now or ever, and if it was only on me, I'd always come back, I actually wouldn't leave your side. I can guarantee, though, that you'll never lose me. I hope you can understand that someday.

She held back tears, holding him in a hug again.

—Would it kill you reassuring me that you'll be save and back? Ugh, I'm about to kill you myself. —She joked.

Ezra held his friend as soft and tight as he could, in hope he could comfort not only her mind and body, but her aching soul.

—I will always try to come back to you, Sabine. And you will never lose me. I promise. —He said laying a kiss on top of her head.

—You idiot.

[ . ]

Hey guys!! How are you my sweeties?? I hope you can enjoy this small fic idea I had for those two☺

I love them so much😭😭

Because of the new Ahsoka series episodes, I decided to keep this one in a totally platonic zone, but to my fellow shipper friends, don't worry: I also had ideas of these two dorks being hopelessly in love! And also for my Lotie Au!!

I'm sorry for all the non-shippers if still looks romantic though, but I cannot put myself to write Ezra referring to her as a sibling 😭 although, I did try my best to make this fic enjoyable to all the fans! Both the shippers (like myself) and the non-shippers that support them as just friends. I love this pairing since episode one, so please, be gentle with my kids 🥺🥹

They went through so much, and independently of how they call their relationship status, one thing is obvious: Sabine Wren loves Ezra Bridger, Ezra Bridger loves Sabine Wren. Although some may seem different forms of love, if their conection is more Agape or more Eros, we can all agree that they love each other, huh??

I hope you can enjoy 🌻 Stay safe and well, and May the force be with you, always ☺

#star wars fanfiction #ezra bridger #sabine wren #star wars rebels #ezra and sabine #star wars #swr #ahsoka series #sw rebels #they love each other #their connection is unbelievable

[girlactionfigure]

He was the proud son of Italian immigrants, and he was born on August 3, 1926 in Astoria, Queens, New York. His mother was a seamstress and his father was a grocer. His father died when he was 10.

He grew up during the Great Depression and quickly learned what life was about. With no father, the family lived in poverty, and by the age of 16, the young boy had dropped out of school to support his family.

In November 1944, during the final stages of World War II, he was drafted into the United States Army and fought in the Battle of the Bulge. After seeing the horrors of war firsthand, fighting Nazis, and liberating a concentration camp, he said, "My experience in the Army turned me into a lifelong pacifist and it’s my hope that all wars and violence will become a thing of the past."

He added, "Anybody who thinks that war is romantic obviously hasn't gone through one."

While in the army, he also saw what racism was about firsthand. He got demoted for dining with a black friend, at a time when the Army was still racially segregated.

“An Army officer blasted the two soldiers — one Black and the other White — with a hate-filled rant for being together in public,” according to The Washington Post. “In the segregated military of the day, the two men were not allowed to socialize. Back then, the punishment for Black and White soldiers associating with one another was more severe than if they fraternized with civilians in occupied Germany.”

“This officer took out a razor blade and cut my corporal stripes off my uniform right then and there,” he wrote. “He spit on them and threw them on the floor, and said, ‘Get your ass out of here!’”

~~~~~

He had been interested in singing since he was a child, and after his discharge from the Army and with the help of the GI Bill, he started studying at the American Theatre Wing. He continued performing whenever he could, even while waiting on tables.

One day, singer Pearl Bailey recognized his singing talents and asked him to open for her in Greenwich Village. There he met entertainer Bob Hope who was also impressed with him, and suggested he change his name.

He would eventually cut a demo, remembering his difficult time, growing up, singing the words, "I left my... soul behind me" in the song, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

By this time, he had taken Bob Hope's advice and had simplified his name, from Anthony Dominick Benedetto to . . . Tony Bennett.

“Tony Bennett, a singer whose melodic clarity, jazz-influenced phrasing, audience-embracing persona and warm, deceptively simple interpretations of musical standards helped spread the American songbook around the world and won him generations of fans, died on Friday at his home of many decades in Manhattan. He was 96,” according to the New York Times.

“Mr. Bennett learned he had Alzheimer’s disease in 2016, his wife, Susan Benedetto, told AARP The Magazine in February 2021. But he continued to perform and record despite his illness; his last public performance was in August 2021, when he appeared with Lady Gaga at Radio City Music Hall in a show titled ‘One Last Time.’

“Mr. Bennett’s career of more than 70 years was remarkable not only for its longevity, but also for its consistency. In hundreds of concerts and club dates and more than 150 recordings, he devoted himself to preserving the classic American popular song, as written by Cole Porter, the Gershwins, Duke Ellington, Rodgers and Hammerstein and others.”

The Peace Page last shared a story on Tony Bennett in 2019. This is an updated story, remembering Mr. Bennett’s life.

The Peace Page focuses on past and present stories—some seldom told, others simply forgotten, still others intentionally ignored. The stories and chapters are gathered from writers, journalists, and historians to share awareness and foster understanding—to bring people together. We thank you for taking the time to be here and helping us share awareness.

~~~~~

In July 1961, Mr. Bennett was performing in Hot Springs, Ark., and about to head to the West Coast, according to the New York Times.

Bennett's accompanist and arranger for more than 50 years, Ralph Sharon, found sheet music to a song, stashed in a drawer, along with some shirts, according to NPR. “He packed it before hitting the road.”

"I always remember," recounts Sharon. I took this out of my bag, and looked at it, and called Tony. And I said, 'You know something, we're going to San Francisco next.' And I said, 'This is a song here that might be interesting.' "

“Mr. Sharon and Mr. Bennett decided that [the song written by George Cory and Douglass Cross] would be perfect for their next date, at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco, and it was.”

“They recorded the song — of course it was “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” — six months later, in January 1962. It won Mr. Bennett his first two Grammys, for best male solo performance and record of the year, and worldwide fame.”

Tony Bennett would go on to become one of the most beloved singers in history, winning 20 Grammy Awards, including a Lifetime Achievement Award, and two Emmy Awards. He has sold over 50 million records worldwide.

But, he never forgot his past, and he never forgot the promise of America, saying, "we’re the greatest country," but adding the reason is "because we’re all different nationalities and all different religions."

He remembered when his good friend Harry Belafonte, who he had known since the 40s when they were both just starting out, gave him a call and "told me what was going on in the South and asked me to join Dr. King on his march to Selma.”

Bennett recalled on CNN in 2013, “I didn't want to do it, but then he told me what went down — how some Blacks were burned. Had gasoline thrown on them and they were burned. When I heard that, I said, 'I'll go with you.'"

“I knew it was important to be there and support. I remember it was decided that we wanted to set up a performance for the marchers one night, but we were in an open field. One of the organizers had a friend who owned a funeral home and they brought in 18 wooden coffins and we used that as the foundation for a stage that night."

“I kept flashing back to a time twenty years ago when my buddies and I fought our way into Germany,” he wrote in his autobiography. “It felt the same way down in Selma: the white state troopers were really hostile, and they were not shy about showing it.”

At the march, Bennett also met Detroit civil rights activist Viola Liuzzo, who had driven Bennett to the airport, according to the Detroit Free Press. The next day, Liuzzo was shot and killed by the Ku Klux Klan .

~~~~~

Bennett continued speaking out for civil rights and would also speak out against apartheid in South Africa.

He would also say his war experience gave him "a social conscience," saying he believes "every gun in the world should melt somehow and as soon as possible," and comparing America’s gun culture and the political tolerance of it to Hitler’s Germany.

He said, "I consider myself a humanist."

When he received the Jazz Foundation of America Lifetime Achievement Award, presenter Ben Stiller mentioned his admiration for the singer in taking on social justice issues long before it was fashionable, from marching in Selma to refusing to play in South Africa during Apartheid, according to Billboard.

~~~~~

“There is one other very important thing about Bennett to note and to admire,” according to the The Editorial Board of the Chicago Tribune. “He continued to perform despite the onset of dementia.

“For anyone who watched his late-in-life work with Lady Gaga, here was a remarkable example of someone who showed the world one of the oft-forgotten truths about a condition that afflicts so many Americans: People with advanced levels of dementia still can contribute a great deal, especially if it is something they have done for years.

“Bennett struggled to remember names and faces, but when he started to sing, he went on a kind of autopilot, the familiar smile returning to his face and the notes and even the lyrics flowing like good wine. This was familiar to many people who knew dementia well: a reminder that the original person always is in there, communicating and loving just as at the times when it was far more obvious to those on the outside. In his courage, Bennett offered a great deal of comfort to those who best knew what he was facing.

“Fortunately, Bennett managed to surround himself with kind family members and fellow artists who protected his reputation as they did his spirit.”

~~~~~

The Hollywood Bowl said, "Throughout his life, Tony Bennett has been a dedicated pacifist and proactive humanitarian selflessly supporting many causes whose goals benefit the lives of millions. His love for his country has earned him the distinction of national treasure and the United Nations has named him a Citizen of the World as one of their foremost ambassadors."

Bennett remembered in the army when he couldn’t dine with his Black friend.

“I couldn’t get over the fact that they condemned us for just being friends, and especially while we served our country in wartime,” Bennett wrote in his 1998 autobiography, “The Good Life.” “There we were, just two kids happy to see each other, trying to forget for the moment the horror of the war, but for the brass it just boiled down to the color of our skin.”

Bennett remembered being “terrified by the violence,” but it only confirmed his belief that no one “should suffer simply because of the color of his skin.” He continued to speak out against bigotry and hatred throughout his career, often performing with African American entertainers at a time when it wasn’t socially acceptable, according to The Washington Post.

According to an interview with Susan C. Ingram in October 2018, Bennett recalls what his former neighbor Ella Fitzgerald told him - “Tony, we are all here.” "And Ella was right, we share this planet together and we have more in common than we have differences since we are all human."

~ jsr

The Jon S. Randal Peace Page

#Tony Bennett

[somescenecatholic]

ALL TUMBLR PPL PLEASE REPOST THIS ANYWHERE U CAN! THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE PROTESTS ABT THIS BC IT'S PRIDE! This can't go on for any longer. TW: p0l1c3, h0m0ph0b14, tr4nsph0b14

Qween Jean, a Black and Trans community leader was arrested at a PEACEFUL march for Trans Liberation on May 31st, 2023. AS SOON AS THEY GOT THERE there was lots of police and they arrested Qween Jean. I'm not sure if she's out yet as I can't find info on tht. On instagram it says to bail support at 7th precinct 191/2 Pitt St, New York, NY, 10002

This can't keep happening, there needs to be nationwide peaceful protests abt this!! Demonstrations need to be everywhere!!!! IT HAS BEEN 53 YEARS SINCE THE FIRST PRIDE PROTEST! I say protest bc PRIDE STARTED AS A PROTEST! It can ONLY be a parade when we truly get our rights. We can't celebrate until we see our victory. Like, our victory is in the bag bc good ALWAYS wins but we need to take ACTION!

ALSO, ANOTHER THING! NOTE HOW WHEN THE NYPD GOT KICKED OUTTA PRIDE, THEY STARTED ARRESTING AND STUFF! If they actually cared they would let this go on. They would actually do smth and hold their own protests for police brutality and etc to stop. Ik there are good police out there who are actually helping out the communities but lets be honest, the system is screwed up. There is far too much corruption. You KNOW it's bad when even little kids are scared of the police! No, not bc they may look intimidating. But because they are literally scared for their life. Same thing with guns. I was walking home from the bus stop when I was in like 6th or 7th (i forgot) and I thought I saw a gun in someone's car tht was parked in front of me and I was scared to the bone. Thankfully it wasn't a gun, it was smth else.

Anyways I'm getting kinda off topic. But yk what I mean right? (if u got any questions, do ask, my dm's and comments are always open! ^w^)

I'm just so sick tht the stuff tht should be in HISTORY BOOKS is happening right in front of my eyes. Like there have been sm protests and stuff against this for FAR, FAR longer than I have been alive!!! (Ik im only 16 but still this is a srs outrage)

It srsly sucks that this is the world I gotta grow up in.

SO THAT'S WHY WE GOTTA CHANGE IT!

Any action u do can help the world change fod the better. Never miss an opportunity to do good! (big or "small")

SOOO! If u can, go to a local protest! Try to put ur community first, yk? Also, reblog this post and spread awareness about these kinda issues. I'd love to go to a protest buttt I do not have supportive parents and I don't have a car. ALSO, remember tht every act of kindness counts. And dont just keep it to ur friends. Support good local businesses, give compliments to everyone u meet, cheer ppl up, listen to others, donate to GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY charities, do NOT give canned food to food banks bc they need actual food, so give them money, and give homeless ppl money too yk? Ppl are like "WHAT IF THEY SPEND IT ON DRUGS AND STUFF?" Well ofc yea tht's a possibility but who says they won't spend it on what they need? Yk? Basically be a good person, support queer ppl and poc ppl, etc. The world needs sm more kindness. People say "HAH friendship, love, and kindness is such a simple concept tht's not needed". The fact tht it's simple says everything. If we had more of tht, all these issues would cease to exist.

Also, another thing:

PROTEST SAFETY RULES!!

Take water and stay hydrated! If someone doesn't have water and u have some to spare, waterfall it.

Keep face masks and switch your phone to airplane mode. This is a surveillance country. They know how to find you. And if u take pics, make sure tht ur location is extremely hard to pinpoint.

If a police officer arrests u, know ur miranda rights and STAY SILENT AND BE CALM! They will use what they can to take it against u. You have to think a stairway ahead of them. They can't say anything if u don't say anything! And justice will be served so dw, God's with you. Also, yes u can say ur manners like thank you and excuse me.

Again, please repost this everywhere u can.

Remember,God loves u ALL, no ifs ands or buts. ACAB and love is love. Trans rights are HUMAN RIGHTS!!!!!

You matter and the right to speak and protest is a human right. This is our world and we have the power to change it!

(also please tell me if I got anything wrong in this post)

#acab #pride parade #lgbt pride #poc alt #queer poc #people of color #queer tumblr #queer community #mogai #very important #please reblog #rawring 20s #scene revival #scenecore #scene kid #scene #rawr means i love you in dinosaur #rawring twenties #all cops are bastards #this is america #america #the usa #the right to speak #protests #current events #injustice #safety #protest #take action #activism

[tsarisfanfiction]

Tears Will Not Wash Away Your Crimes

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rating: Teen Genre: Angst Characters: Michael, Luke Michael liked Luke just fine; he was the camp's big brother, after all. This muse has been flitting around my head for a while and finally decided it wanted to be made into a fic. This is an AU/contains some stealth time travel fic, and also contains major character death. And, of course, a large dose of my headcanons regarding characters and canon events.

The snap of a fallen twig breaking startled Michael into turning around, an arrow nocked on his string, only to be brought up short by a soft laugh and hands raised in surrender.

“Sorry, sorry,” Luke chuckled good-naturedly.  “Didn’t mean to make you jump, Michael.”  One raised hand nudged at his bow, shifting it until the point of the arrow wasn’t aimed directly at his chest.  Shoulders slumping as the tension eased out of them, Michael let his bow lower, bringing it down from full draw and slipping the arrow back into his quiver.

“Do that again and you’ll get an arrow in you,” he threatened.  Luke winced, no doubt remembering the several occasions he had ended up the wrong end of a released arrow – it had been a couple of years since Lee had convinced him to stop shooting people who pissed him off, but Luke had been at camp before the ceasefire.

“I’ll do my best,” the son of Hermes promised, the scar on his face crinkling with his easy-going smile, before his expression turned into something more pensive.  “Look, Michael – can we talk?”

“What about?” Michael asked, confused and wracking his brain for anything that might prompt Luke seeking him out.  He liked the older camper well enough, but he was Lee’s friend more than Michael’s and while Luke was perfectly friendly with him, he didn’t normally go out of his way to interact.

“It won’t take long,” Luke promised, “but I’d rather not talk about it in the open.”  He inclined his head towards the treeline a little way beyond the borders of the archery range, and with a sigh Michael shouldered his bow.

“We’re not supposed to go into the woods outside of sanctioned activities,” he muttered, well aware that it was a rule he’d broken several times himself – he liked jumping through the trees, and the dryads had long since allowed him to do so as long as he didn’t damage them.

Even freshly fourteen, Michael was hardly big enough to cause damage even if he wanted to.

“Just inside the treeline,” Luke coaxed.  “We won’t go deep.”

Michael huffed, but nodded and let the older boy lead the way.  True to his word, they didn’t go deep, although they ended up in a thicker part nonetheless, where the trees were just a little too tightly packed for him to draw his bow with ease.  Luke had a grip on his sword’s hilt, though, and with the company of the camp’s best swordsman (whatever people said about that Poseidon kid – Percy – Luke was clearly still the superior swordsman; even Michael could see that and he was near-useless with swords), the restriction on his own weapon didn’t worry him as much as it otherwise would.

“What is it?” he asked when Luke drew to a halt, leaning nonchalantly back against a tall tree.  Michael mimicked him against a trunk opposite the older boy, arms crossed.

Luke hesitated.  It was only a brief moment, but it was enough to tell Michael that whatever it was Luke wanted to say, it was important – and difficult.  “I thought it would be Percy,” he said, running a hand through his hair.  Blond strands stuck up in all directions, giving him a harried appearance.  “It should have been Percy, I prepared for Percy, but…”

He spread his hands helplessly – a gesture that would have looked far more helpless if he hadn’t had his sword in one hand.  It wasn’t his usual sword, Michael realised.  It was two colours, bronze and what looked like steel, although what use a demigod had for steel, Michael couldn’t fathom.  “This would be a lot easier if it was Percy.”

Irritation prickled up Michael’s spine.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded.  “What does that guy have to do with anything – to do with me?”  He’d barely even met the son of Poseidon – with Percy’s skill in swordsmanship and complete and utter lack of any archery competence at all, their paths had had little reason to cross.

Luke sighed again, and he sounded sad.  His hand ran through his hair again, giving him the appearance of a blond porcupine.  “I wish I didn’t have to do this,” he said, his voice breaking on the final word and going from sad to absolutely heartbroken.  “You’re a good kid, Michael.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Michael demanded, an unsettling feeling enveloping him although he couldn’t tell what in particular had him on edge.  “Quit with the fucking riddles, Luke.”

Luke took a deep breath that trembled like a freshly released string and pushed himself away from the tree, rocking his weight onto the balls of his feet.  Michael had always know the height gap between the two of them was ridiculous, but as Luke crossed the distance between them in two dragging strides, he felt for the first time like the older boy was looming over him.

Hemming him in.

“Luke?”

His confused instincts screamed for him to arm himself, to pull his bow off his shoulder and enforce his personal space, but Michael’s back was against the tree and he didn’t have space to reach for his bow.

Above him, Luke’s forehead made contact with the bark of the tree, as one hand rested against the trunk, and Michael’s unease increased tenfold.  He was trapped.

Luke closed his eyes and let out another unsteady breath.  It almost sounded like he was about to cry.

Needing to get out, Michael put his hands on the older boy’s ribs and pushed, but his size worked against him and Luke barely shifted where he stood.

“It was supposed to be Percy,” he whispered, almost as if he was talking to himself rather than Michael.  “I don’t want to do this.”

“Then don’t!” Michael snapped, suddenly certain that whatever this was, he didn’t want to be the subject of it.  “And fucking move!”  When his second shove at Luke proved just as futile as the first, he instead tried to slip around the taller boy, only for Luke to shift and block his escape.  “Luke!”

“I’m so, so sorry, Michael,” Luke rasped, opening his eyes again.  They glistened with unshed tears.  “But he’s made it clear-”

“He?” Michael demanded, latching onto the word instantly and knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer.  Luke carried on as though he hadn’t spoken.

“-that you’ll ruin everything we’re working for if you live.”

Michael went cold.

“Luke?” he asked, hating how suddenly quiet and weak his voice sounded.  Luke didn’t mean- he wouldn’t- he couldn’t-

Luke snapped his fingers and something hot prickled into existence on Michael’s shoulder.  The heat disappeared as quickly as it had come, but the prickling sensation continued and Michael tried to turn his head and see what Luke had done.

A strong hand grabbed his head firmly, keeping it still.

“Don’t,” Luke warned him, although his hand was trembling slightly and the tears had started to leak from his eyes.  “I’m so, so, sorry, Michael,” he said again, his voice cracking every other syllable.  “But you have to die.”

Heedless of the grip on his head, the bigger body all but pressing his against the bark of the tree, Michael thrashed, lunging for some sort of freedom, for the reality where Luke – Luke, the camp’s collective big brother – wasn’t saying he was going to kill him.

A sharp pain stabbed the side of his throat and he automatically grabbed for whatever had caused it, hand closing over something smooth and segmented and throwing it away.  He caught sight of something small and dark skittering away in his periphery as he writhed and fought for freedom.

His bow was just as trapped as he was, but his fingers skimmed feather fletching and reminded him that he still wasn’t weaponless, could still fight back, make Luke let go-

Agony burst into existence, emitting from his neck, and his vision swam.  His fingers fell limp between the wooden shafts of his arrows, unable to grasp one, let alone draw it from the quiver.

He felt his knees buckle and then gravity was taking hold, yanking him down to the forest floor with a vengeance, only for warm arms to wrap around him and lower him gently.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered wetly in his ear.  “I didn’t want this.”

Michael tried to fight him off but his limbs felt like lead and his head was groggy.  The arms – Luke’s arms – held him close with no regard for Michael’s wishes, which were for the son of Hermes to not do this and to not fucking touch him.

“He insisted,” the older boy rasped, as though killing him – killing him, Michael realised hysterically; he was dying, chills wracking his unresponsive body – wasn’t his fault.  “You’d save Olympus.  A-and Olympus has to fall.”

Hair tickled his forehead, somehow sharp over the sheer agony crawling from his neck to the rest of his body, and a blur of yellow came into view.

“I thought Percy was the threat,” Luke confessed, voice barely a whisper.  “I thought Percy was the one I would have to kill- he told me it would be Percy, before he changed his mind.  I wish it was Percy.”

Michael’s mind had slowed to a crawl, most of Luke’s words washing over him with little awareness, but it clumsily slotted the pieces together into a horror story just as Luke’s confession reached its climax.

“I was the thief,” he said.  “I- We’re going to tear Olympus down, brick by brick.  The gods- they have to go, Michael.  They’re cruel and heartless and don’t deserve to exist.”  Another shaky breath as Michael sluggishly reeled from the words, from what they meant.  “You probably won’t believe me, you Apollo kids never do, but your dad’s the worst of them all.”

Michael found himself protesting vehemently at that within what was left of his conscious mind, and Luke let out a wet chuckle as though he could read his thoughts.

“I wish you could’ve joined us,” he sobbed.  “You didn’t deserve this, Michael.  I’m so, so sorry.”

The arms around him tightened, constricting like a snake, and the grogginess transformed into an encroaching darkness that swallowed up what was left of Michael’s blurred vision.

“Goodbye, Michael,” passed over him like a faint whisper.  “Your death won’t be in vain.  I swear it on the Styx.”

The rumble of a sealed oath was the last thing he heard.

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson fanfiction #riordanverse #riordanverse fanfic #michael yew #luke castellan #major character death #tsari writes fanfiction #tears will not wash away your crimes