#ray manchester smut

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 2: Love Muffin

~The Man Cave~

Something was up, something big. Ray had called Henry and Charlotte to the Man Cave way past their bedtimes and now, they were pacing around the main room with (y/n). She knew as much as they did, absolutely jack all and was just as worried for whatever emergency was going on as they were.

"Why would he want want us here after midnight on a Thursday?" Henry asked as they all paced around, but no one could give him an answer. Charlotte and (y/n) were still in their pyjamas and extremely sleepy, but their worried minds wouldn't let them get any sleep until they knew what was going on.

"I don't know, but if it's because he had a bad dream again, I am not gonna sing him a lullaby this time. That's your job." Charlotte looked at (y/n) who rolled her eyes and went back to her panicking.

"No, he's not been around all evening, I don't know where he is. God...I'm so worried." She breathed out and rubbed her eyes with the palm of her heels as she tried not to get into a state. He was indestructible and more than capable of looking after himself. It just concerned her that he'd not sent a text or left a note about where he was going.

"I'm here!" Jasper panted as he came bumbling down in the elevator. He had an odd choice of pyjamas; an all American flag onesie, but the weirdest thing about him was the fact that he had his hair done up in rollers.

"That's an emergency." Henry deadpanned. He couldn't see Jasper like that and not poke fun at him. It was just too good of an opportunity to miss.

"Are you...why would...curlers?" Charlotte stuttered as she struggled to put her shock into words. Why would he put them in his hair? Did he do it every night? So many questions.

"What, you thought my hair was naturally curly?" He asked the girls as he smirked at their open mouths. He just did it to spice up his look and he'd been doing it for years.

"I feel lied to." (y/n) commented, but her joking stopped as the tube alarm beeped and Ray came down, with a stupid look on his face.

"Heyyyyyy. Hello, friends. Welcome, welcome!" He breathed out dreamily, confusing the woman and teens as he greeted them. Why did he seem so out of it?

"Hey..." The kids said as (y/n) put her hands on her hips and gave him a pointed stare. She wanted to know why she had been waiting up, worried sick all night for him to come home.

"Ray Manchester, where have you been? I've been---" She was cut off as Ray smushed his finger against her lips to shut her up. Seriously, what was up with him? He'd never stop (y/n) from speaking normally, but this wasn't normal.

"And now...I want to introduce you guys to someone very special..." Ray told his friends and (y/n) felt her heart clench as she got the feeling that he was about to do something dreadful. The alarm for the other tube sounded and down came a very beautiful woman, wearing dark makeup and dark clothes. Holy shit.

"Who's that?" Charlotte whispered to the woman but she was shutting down, both mentally and physically as she sensed the worst. Her nightmare come to life, right in front of her and she couldn't move.

"I don't know. Looks like a woman." Henry whispered back, seeing that (y/n) was pale and shaking, worrying him beyond belief. It took a lot to get her like this and he didn't like how she was reacting.

Ray brought the woman into his arms and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, making (y/n) choke up as tears sprung to her eyes. Was he doing this deliberately as some sort of cruel prank? To bring this into the Man Cave at such a late hour seemed so unkind like he was rubbing it in her face and Charlotte put a hand on her shoulder as she trembled.

"Everyone...this is Gwen," Ray said her name and (y/n) immediately hated it. It could've been anything and she'd hate it, but the way the woman smirked at her sickened reaction made her heart ache more. Sure, he'd had girlfriends in the past and they stung, like she'd had boyfriends and stung him, but this felt different, more intense and like he genuinely wanted it to work. And that made her heart throb.

"Hi, guys." Gwen smiled sinisterly to the kids, who also instantly disliked her. What was Ray thinking? Bringing her down into his secret hideout and flaunting his new relationship in front of the woman he really loved, was he insane?

"Ray, can I talk to you for a second?" Henry grabbed onto his boss's elbow and dragged him away from Gwen's arms, which didn't go down very well with Ray. (y/n) hated the way he whined when he had to let go of the dark-haired woman and she had to turn away to stop her mind from keeping the image forever. 

"Hold on, I'd really rather--" The large man made grabby hands at his new woman, but Henry was on a mission and he wasn't gonna let this go without an answer. He had way too much loyalty to (y/n) and the hope of her and Ray getting together.

"Just a sec, so sorry." He said as he yanked him away, even though he wasn't sorry at all. In fact, he was rather proud of himself for getting him to stop slathering all over her.

"Are you crazy!!" Henry hissed at him as he made sure that Charlotte was comforting the heartbroken young woman behind him. Good, he needed her distracted so he could give his boss a good talking to.

"What?" Ray looked at him innocently, not being able to pick up on anyone else's feelings through the haze of love he felt for Gwen. It was like his mind wasn't his own.

"You can't just bring some stranger down here into the Man Cave!" Henry hissed, deciding to use (y/n) as his main argument in a few moments. He wanted to shock Ray into sense and if he had to pull out the big guns, he would.

"Oh, Gwen's not a stranger." Ray scoffed, looking over at the bewitching woman with heart eyes. He couldn't even hear the way (y/n) was sniffing into Charlotte's shoulder.

"Well, how long have you known her?," Henry asked as he saw how broken the young woman was. This Gwen girl better be good, but then again, the boy was sure that no one would ever suit Ray more than (y/n) did. They were soulmates.

"Almost three hours." Ray cooed and rested his head on Henry's shoulder, but the boy was disgusted with his behaviour. So many years of loving (y/n) and he was throwing it all away for an actual stranger?

"What?! Three hours?! Dude, what about (y/n)?" He said the woman's name quietly, but she was so distraught that she could only hear the words 'I've lost him' bouncing around in her head. She knew this day would come when he found a nice girl and settled down with her properly, but she didn't think it would be tonight or without her. That last shred of hope that he might turn around and say that she was the one he wanted, died when she saw his loving gaze at Gwen. He wasn't hers to love anymore.

"What about her? I love Gwen...Ooo, that reminds me. I gotta tell her she's Miss Danger and you're Kid Danger." Ray suddenly perked up and Henry scrambled to stop him, but he was too strong and too fast to hold back.

"What? No, no, no--" Henry panicked, but Ray wasn't thinking straight.

"Hey, honey?" He smiled at Gwen, making (y/n) lookup from Charlotte's shoulder with red, puffy eyes. Bless her, she'd tried everything to make (y/n) feel better, but everything Charlotte tried wouldn't work and Ray was making it worse.

"Yes?" Gwen's sweet voice turned away from her conversation with Jasper to look at her new man. 

"I bet you'll never guess who this loveable knucklehead really is." Ray put his arm around Henry, who was trying to escape his hold and shut him up, but he couldn't wriggle free.

"Not a good idea." Charlotte, Henry and Jasper shook their heads frantically and tried to make him zip his lip. (y/n) was still staying silent as her voice would just be small and quiet because she had taken in everything aspect of Gwen and had come to one conclusion. She was gorgeous, her figure was flawless and she obviously had something that Ray saw that she didn't have. 

"Kid Danger! Haha!" Ray giggled as Gwen smirked at the new information. She was working her way into the centre of the Man Cave and it was easier than she could ever have imagined. She'd heard the rumours about Captain Man and Miss Danger being a couple, but when she learnt that, in reality, they were so careful and insecure about their love, it made Ray an easy target.

"Dude!" Henry shrieked in horror, but Ray giggled dreamily. His head was spinning and his lips moved before he could stop them. All he could see, hear and feel was Gwen.

"It's okay, Gwen even knows that I'm Captain Man. Oh, and (y/n)'s Miss Danger." He brushed off their concern as they all gasped and voiced their disgust with him. Was he trying to get them all captured or killed?

"Ray! That wasn't your secret to tell!" (y/n) finally found her voice at the mention of her name. She was certain that she was having a heart attack, but she didn't want her secrets being told to everyone that Ray fancied. That was her business and the fact that he was telling every girl that walked through his life pissed her off.

"It's fine...and guess what else." Ray shook off her anger and took Gwen's hand again as she smiled evilly at him. Surely things couldn't get worse, but the young woman felt her bravery take a back seat as they started to snuggle up again. Just last night they were the closest of friends and her love had never been brighter, but now, it was like she was the stranger and Gwen had stolen the prize right from under her nose.

"Gwen and I...we're getting married." Ray smiled and that was when the dam broke. Every tear in her body came flooding to her eyes as the news broke (y/n). Literally broke her, like Ray had taken a knife, carved out her heart and crushed it with his bare hand. She bit back her sob as she turned around quickly and sat by herself on the couch, needing to look away from whatever had happened to her best friend. The teens couldn't believe it, Ray getting married to that floozy? What? 

Henry felt his own heart hurt as he watched the woman isolate herself from the group and he was taken aback by how small she seemed. Without Ray by her side, she was so lonely and fragile, like the slightest touch would break her if anyone tried to reach out and comfort her. She was on her own with her broken love.

"Heyyyy. What's the...happening?" Schwoz came in, full of beans despite the late hour, but his smile died when he saw (y/n) shaking and trying to muffle her sobs on the sofa and the shock written all over Henry, Jasper's and Charlotte's faces.

"Ray's getting married to a woman he met three hours ago!" Henry told him and Schwoz blanched at the news, his head snapping from Ray to (y/n) and then back to Ray. 

"Whaaaaaaaat?!" He gasped in horror and his nose screwed up in disgust when Ray fawned over Gwen. That should've been his best friend in his arms, not this floozy.

"And--why does Jasper have those things on his head?" Schwoz asked although he should've focused on the larger problem at hand. Screw Jasper's hair, the family that Ray had built for himself was at threat and everyone needed to pull together to find out why.

~The next morning, in Junk-N-Stuff~

(y/n) hadn't slept a wink. She'd just collapsed onto her bed and sobbed into her quilt to let out nine years of broken love. Where had she gone wrong? All those times she could have said something and she hadn't, now, she felt so foolish. She'd known all along that there had always been a chance that he'd find someone else and settle down with them, but she hadn't expected it that night and she hadn't been prepared for how much it hurt.

Henry had managed to drag her from her moping around noonish and she had moodily trudged upstairs with him so she could cry in Junk-N-Stuff. It was bad for business, but the boy knew she had to get away from Ray and Gwen's kissing. Not to mention all the...other stuff that she'd heard, which made her cry harder and hurt deeper.

"Henry..." Jasper looked to his best friend as he tried to water Omar. The plant needed care, but it was fussy about who got to give that care. Normally, it was (y/n), who was no longer afraid of the flytrap's snappy attitude, but she was currently slumped on the floor with her face pressed into her knees. Let's just say that she needed some space.

"Yeah?" The boy broke out of his deep pondering and looked at his two friends, both of whom had a problem on very different levels.

"This plant's intimidating me." Jasper pouted, but his friend didn't care. His job was on the line and everything he'd been pushing (y/n) and Ray towards for nearly two years was in tatters. He needed to think, not worry about plants.

"Dude, we got way bigger problems right now than...plant thirst." He stressed, making the young woman look up at him as he stopped in front of her and gestured his arm to her depressed state. She looked terrible, with bags under her red eyes and crumpled pyjamas, anyone would be able to tell she was mourning something or someone dear to her. 

"I mean, why would Ray wanna marry a lady he's only known for three hours?" Henry asked Jasper, and a stab of pain went through the woman's heart at the reminder.

"Rub it in, why don't you?" She sniffed and got to her feet. She was still miserable, but the floor was cold and it just made her look desperate. She was allowed to be a little desperate though, she was hurting bad.

"Maybe she has a trampoline," Jasper suggested, making Henry and (y/n) look at him with annoyed expressions. That wasn't very helpful. Even Omar wasn't impressed, but then again, he rarely was.

~In the Man Cave~

"No, I love you more. I do too. No, I love you more than you love me. Oh, I think I do." Ray smiled as he told Gwen the sickly sweet words over the phone and shuffled along the couch. Everything she did, even if it was nothing made his heart race and his brain turn to mush, which was hard for Charlotte and Schwoz to watch as they tinkered with a machine.

"All right, he's about to make me puke," Charlotte grumbled to Schwoz as she listened to his ridiculous drivel. She took back every gag and eye roll she ever made at how lovey-dovey Ray and (y/n) were together since they were meant to be. This was just revolting, over-the-top trash talk.

"No, I love you more." Ray continued to giggle and coo down the phone and Schwoz knew he needed to get to the bottom of this fast before (y/n) walked out and Ray made the biggest mistake of his life.

"What's that?" Charlotte asked as she saw him charge up a gun-like gadget that she'd never seen before.

"We can use this to find out why Ray fell in love with that woman so quickly. I will die before I see Ray lose (y/n)." Schwoz told the young girl gravely and she got the sentiment. She'd known them for only a small fraction of their friendship, but Schwoz? He'd seen it all; from their first meeting to their first fight and make-up, he'd watched them fall in love and he was going to see them together, even if it killed him.

"But how can--" Charlotte was confused as to how it worked, but there was time for questions later. Schwoz shushed her as Ray left himself open for the small man to blast him.

"Ray! Ray, come quick to me!" Schwoz called him in a sing-song voice, and even though he didn't want to, Ray said goodbye to his "lovely" Gwen.

"Yeah, I'll see you in a few minutes. I love you. Muah!" He made kissy noises down the phone. and drunkenly stood up from the supercomputer chair where he'd been rambling on the phone for the past few minutes.

"Okay, Schwoz, what was it that you wanted me--" Ray never finished his sentence. As soon as he had tucked his phone back into his back pocket, Schwoz shot his device thing at his face, making him go all wobbly and woozy.

"Charlotte, catch him!" Schwoz told the girl, but she could barely hold up a person of her own weight, let alone Ray, who was all muscle and bulk. 

"Me? Ah!" The girl screamed as Ray collapsed on top of her. At least she broke his fall.

"Good job! Now, bring him over to the sofa." Schwoz instructed her and walked off. She couldn't move, she had a huge man crushing her spleen and pinning down her arms. Her job was never easy.

~Upstairs~

"Come on, smile for me..." Jasper encouraged Omar and tried to stroke his foliage, but he just received a face full of goop. Yeah, it was never a good idea to disturb the plant, not that Henry or (y/n) cared. They were still panicking and pacing around as they thought about Ray.

"He globbered me!" Jasper whined, making (y/n) sigh as she and Henry dashed over to help him wipe away the sticky gunk. It was never nice to get it in your eyes and they couldn't leave him to blindly stumble around the store.

"All right, all right, it's not that bad," Henry reassured him as the young woman grabbed some tissues.

"Don't touch your eyes, you'll just rub it in and then it gets really bad." She told Jasper, who swiftly dropped his hands to his side. (y/n) began to clear the goo from each eye and it gave Henry a chance to check up on her. He hadn't done that yet and he felt like she deserved all the support in the world.

"Hey, are you all right?" He asked her softly, taking note of the way she was so gentle and kind to Jasper even though her heart was missing. Even without her love, she still had enough to go around and would never dream of hoarding it to keep herself happy. It reminded Henry that she always took care of everyone else and now, it was their turn to take care of her in her hour of need.

"No, not really." She whispered back, trying not to cry. She was certain that if she started again, she'd never stop and she had to put on her brave face even though she wasn't feeling brave at all.

"What you feelin'?" Jasper asked carefully, making sure to choose his words with meaning. It wasn't a casual "what's up?" or "what's wrong?", it got to the centre of her and what was going on in her mind.

"Oh, you know. I'm feeling depressed because the man I've loved for nearly all of the nine years I've known him has promised himself to a stranger. I'm angry because she's everything I could never be and...I'm scared." She muttered the last part as she finished cleaning the last of Omar's puke from Jasper's face and the boys exchanged a worried glance with each other.

"Why?" Henry asked, hating to see such a usually bubbly and cheery woman reduced to a shell of her former self. 

"Because where does this leave me? If they do...get married, I can't live here. I'll have to give all this up and move out, 'cause I can't watch Ray build a life with someone who isn't me. And I guarantee I won't be wanted anymore. He's gonna have a wife, why would he want me?" She confessed and gulped as she imagined saying goodbye to Ray for the last time. Surely, this wasn't how it was meant to be.

"We're gonna find out what's wrong with him and then Gwen--" Henry's determined speech was cut off as the devil herself came strolling through the door. Ugh, what did she want?

"Henry. Jasper. Poor little (y/n)..." She smirked as she walked into the store, a box in her freshly manicured hands. God, she was so smug and (y/n) knew that her cocky stare was her way of telling her that she'd won and there was nothing she could do to stop her.

"Hey, Gwen..." Jasper greeted her cautiously, very aware of the thick tension between the two women. Of course, he and Henry were loyal to (y/n), but they didn't want to appear too hostile until they sussed out what she was doing with Ray.

"Uh, Jasper, why don't you go take (y/n) to the bathroom?" Henry suggested to his friend as he eyed Gwen's suspicious movements. He needed some alone time with her to assess what she was up to.

"Because I'm a grown woman and I can go by myself?" (y/n) replied for Jasper, thinking that Henry was completely crazy. Like she needed an escort to go pee, she wasn't that sad.

"Then go into the bathroom and show him your Celine Dion playlist," Henry told her tightly and she got the message that he wanted them gone for a moment.

"All right, but first..." She agreed, but she had one thing to say to this emo barbie bitch before she went.

"I don't know what your game is, Gwen, but you won't win." She told the smirking woman, who puffed out her chest and looked at her like she was a child in need of a good scolding. Still, (y/n) stood her ground and kept hold of her courage, even though she was still feeling weak with sadness. 

"Oh, sweet, sweet girl. I've already won." Gwen hissed at her sharply, making the helper growl at the use of Ray's nickname for her. If she wanted a war, she could have one. (y/n) had nothing left to lose and she was too broken to care what anyone thought about her.

"I don't know how much Ray has told you, but...you can't hurt me. Not anymore, no one can." She told her rival in a low, serious voice before turning around and marching to the back room with Jasper in tow. It was true, no one could hurt her, she had moved past being a jumpy, mousy girl who was scared of her own shadow and was now a superhero of all things. However, there was one man who still had a grip on her heart and he was the one holding her together. But, his grip was loosening and she was at the point of falling if someone didn't wake him up soon. 

"Y'know...Henry. I got the feeling last night that you don't want me to marry your friend, Ray." Gwen started as soon as (y/n) and Jasper were out of earshot. She didn't want that good-for-nothing superhero bitch coming in with her superpowers and ruining her plans.

"Well, I'm glad that you got that feeling, 'cause the feeling is exactly what I want your feeling to be. Ya feelin' me?" Henry sassed her in an agitated tone, wishing to communicate all of his hate for the woman to her.

"I'm sorry, one more time?" She smirked, wanting to keep control of the situation by making Henry unsure of himself and what he was saying. She was sneaky that way.

"No, I'm sorry, 'cause I don't repeat stuff." Henry snapped back. He wasn't going to let her have the upper hand, no way. He wasn't afraid of her or how she was using Ray to get her own way, in fact, he was sure he could beat her.

~Back in the Man Cave~

After a lot of pain and struggling, Charlotte had finally managed to get Ray on the couch so he could sleep through his unconsciousness. 

"What are you doing?" She asked Schwoz in an exhausted voice, who had rapidly jogged over with some weird helmet scanner thing so he could slide it onto Ray's head. Yeah, he got the easy job.

"I am connecting this device to Ray's brain, and converting his cerebral memory impulses into audio and video images, so we can see his memories from yesterday when he first met the lady," Schwoz explained, his mouth turning into a nauseated sneer at the thought of Gwen. 

"When he first met the lady." Charlotte mimicked his funny voice, but she too had a sickened expression. Everyone hated Gwen and everyone was going to make sure she left. The girl looked at the screen with Schwoz and he pulled a lever, making his brain scanner flicker to life as it began to read Ray's mind. It was all a bit too complicated for Charlotte, but she tried to keep up where she could and soon, they'd found the right memory.

"Hey, you there!"

"Me?"

"What are you doing with that glowing blob?"

"Uh, nothing."

"That's a lie, I think you're a criminal."

"Are you...hungry?"

"Uhhh..." Schwoz and Charlotte watched in horror as they saw what had unfolded the previous night. Gwen must have tricked Ray or hypnotised him or something because he'd never give up his secrets and love for her and they weren't the only ones who knew that.

~Meanwhile, upstairs~

In the store, Henry was giving the woman a piece of his mind. He didn't trust her and for good reason, she was evil and up to no good, not that he knew the extent of it.

"I know Ray and there's no way that he'd meet you, and then ask you to marry him on the same day, unless you--unless you did something. Because I know and everyone else knows that Ray loves (y/n) and belongs with her." Henry hissed at her and that's when Gwen opened her Tupperware box. She knew that Captain Man and Kid Danger were too resilient to her charms in their own minds, so she had to unleash her secret weapon. 

"Y'know Henry...I was hoping that we could be friends. But now...I'm sorry that I made you these muffins." Gwen showed him the baked goods and the sickly sweet smell rising from them tickled Henry's nose.

"M-Muffins?!" He looked at her in confusion. He didn't trust this woman or anything she gave him, but those muffins sure looked good...

~Back in the Man Cave~

"Mmmm, yeah, that's really good. That's a really good muffin..." Charlotte and Schwoz continued to watch what had happened to Ray and they learnt that everything was fine until Gwen gave him a muffin. Wait a second...

"Captain Man?"

"Yeah?

"May I kiss you?" The sneaky woman. Ray never turned down a kiss from a pretty female begging for his attention. He had always told himself that one day, he might find someone who could distract his heart from the pain of not having (y/n) and Gwen was just another chick in line. Her kiss was nothing compared to the one he'd shared with his sweet girl, nothing ever was, but little did he know, this poison touch was about to steal him away from his love, possibly forever.

"Uhhhh...wuhhh...I like someone elseee...." Ray was powerless to stop her and his protests died where they stood when Gwen planted a gentle yet revolting kiss on the hero's lips. Schwoz didn't want Charlotte to see that so he put his hand over her eyes, which annoyed the girl. She didn't want to miss a thing; any detail could be crucial in helping their friend get back to normal.

"Now, Captain Man, is there something you want to tell me?" 

"Y-Yeah, I...I love you." What? Schwoz and Charlotte were flabbergasted at this revelation.

"That's right and you always will, so forget that silly girl in your head and love me." Schwoz puffed out his cheeks and ended the simulation as he and the teen girl reeled from the revelation. 

"The muffin!" Charlotte cried as she realised what had happened. Ray was perfectly fine until he ate the muffin!

"Yes!...What?" Schwoz wasn't following. He hadn't been paying as much attention as Charlotte and he couldn't make the connection between Ray and Gwen's muffin.

"Gwen did something to the muffin! Like...she must've added some sort of chemical or something and it made Ray fall in love with her when she kissed him!" Charlotte theorised, knowing that she was along the right lines. Gwen was evil and they had to stop her.

Suddenly, the secret door opened and out came (y/n) and Jasper, both singing to Celine Dion. The boy had taken the long way around to the Man Cave and had used every trick in his goofy body to cheer her up, which it had worked to an extent.

"Nearrrrrr, farrrrrr, whereeverrrr youuu are, I believeeee that the heart doessss go onnnn!" (y/n) sang with Jasper, not caring if she was off-key or offbeat. She was playing her sad playlist and she needed to rock out. Plus, if Celine was right, she'd come back from her heartache, yeah right.

"Jasper? (y/n)?" Charlotte walked towards them in confusion as the young woman muted the blaring music coming from her phone.

"Hey, what's up?" Jasper greeted her as (y/n) brushed some of her messy hair away from her face. Maybe getting a shower and getting dressed would be a good idea.

"Are you feeling better, (y/n)?" Schwoz looked conflicted. He was glad she wasn't sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but he also didn't want her to leave prematurely. If only he knew how cut up she was inside.

"Eh. I still feel like shit and I'm eighty-seven per cent sure I'm going to be homeless soon, but at least I've got Celine." She offered him a sad smile and it told him everything he needed to know. She wasn't feeling better, if anything she was feeling worse after having all night to think about what Ray "getting married" meant for her.

"I thought you guys were upstairs in Junk-N-Stuff with Henry," Charlotte told them, sensing that something was off. 

"Oh, we were, but Henry wanted to talk to Gwen, so we went to the--" Jasper tried to explain, but the moment he mentioned that cursed name, Charlotte and Schwoz started to panic.

"Gwen??" The teen girl cried, feeling like Henry could be in a lot of danger.

"Oh, geez." Schwoz gasped, also getting the sense that something nasty was going on upstairs.

"Come on!" The small man and girl ran to the elevator and, not wanting to be left behind, Jasper and (y/n) were hot on their heels.

"Wait for us!" The young woman exclaimed as she and Jasper slid across the cold floor. She knew Gwen was a thieving, bitchy skank, but why were they so concerned about Henry? What was going on?

~In Junk-N-Stuff~

Henry couldn't resist the temptation of a freshly-baked muffin, even if it had been made by a woman who was now considered to be an enemy. 

"Oh man, what is this, banana nut? This a banana nut muffin?" He asked the smirking woman as the spongy cake tingled his tastebuds. Little did he know that the muffin wasn't a baked good, it was a baked bad.

"Henry, don't swallow that muffin!" Charlotte burst onto the shop floor with an exuberant worry in her voice and Schwoz, Jasper and (y/n) weren't far behind her. 

"W-What--stop--ah!" Henry protested as Charlotte reached into his mouth and began to pick the crumbs out of his mouth. Yeah, it was gross to remove the gooey, half-chewed muffin but needs must and Henry couldn't be allowed to eat it.

"Henry, it's dangerous!" She tried to tell him, but Henry was instinctively fighting against the attack. Desperate time called for desperate measures.

"Use my handheld vacuum cleaner!" (y/n) passed her small device to Charlotte as she glared at Gwen. She didn't understand the full picture but she was getting the idea that this was her doing.

"Okay, out of your mouth! Henry!" Charlotte begged her friend as she sucked the muffin out, but Gwen wasn't going to let a child ruin her plans.

"Hey! Let him eat the muffin!" She yelled at Charlotte and it awoke (y/n)'s fury. This woman had come in and wrecked her life, she wasn't going to let her bully her friends.

"Back off, bitch!" She hissed back and Gwen and Charlotte engaged in a tug of war with Henry's body. They yanked him back and forth, back and forth until Henry pulled himself free of their grasps and staggered back. He tripped into a display and a large bust toppled over and onto his head, knocking the boy out. 

"Oh my god!" Charlotte gasped as her friend collapsed on the floor and before (y/n) could dish out her first-aid expertise, Jasper thrusted himself forward and offered his knowledge instead.

"I know mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!" He announced and swiftly shrugged off his jacket as he rushed to Henry's side, even though the kiss of life wouldn't help him. He was unconscious, not suffocating.

"I need to kiss him!" Gwen grabbed his shoulders and tried to force him away, but Jasper was stronger than he looked and (y/n) was ready to kick her ass.

"He's my best friend!" Jasper hissed to her and prised her fingers off of him just as (y/n) stepped forward to sort her out. Drawing her fist back, she sent a sharp punch to Gwen's jaw, sending the woman stumbling back in a painful daze.

"Sit down, shut up!" She hissed to her, ignoring the throbbing in her knuckles. It soothed quickly as the swelling disappeared instantly and if Gwen dared make a noise, she was more than happy to give her some more. 

Taking a deep breath, Jasper pressed his lips to Henry's and blew all the air in his lungs into his mouth. Henry gasped into consciousness and slowly lifted his head to see his friends looking at him in concern. 

"Quick, help him up!" (y/n) told Jasper and Schwoz stepped forward to help the couching boy to his feet. The world was spinning and his brain was fuzzy as the boys helped to keep him steady. 

"Hen, Hen, are you okay?"Jasper asked him in concern and he was taken aback by the loving gaze his best friend sent his way.

"I...I love you." Henry smiled at his newfound love, but Jasper didn't think he meant it in anything but a platonic way.

"Oh shit." (y/n) breathed out as Jasper realised that Henry wasn't joking. Okay, seeing Henry in love with him was weird and made him uncomfortable, especially when Henry latched onto him in a tight embrace.

"Hey, quit it! No, Henry--This is not a good time to hug." Jasper struggled to get him off. When Henry wanted to hug he was like an octopus, hands everywhere. 

"Henry, leave Curly alone." (y/n) tried to get him off, but no one could make him let go of Jasper. He loved him.

"Aw, you have pretty hair." The mention of Jasper's nickname switched Henry's attention and the blond boy started to pet Jasper's curls affectionately, much like how he had seen Ray do it to (y/n) when they were cuddling.

"Henry!" Charlotte shouted at her friend, but she had to face Gwen's wrath first.

"Great, see what you did?" She hissed at the girl, making (y/n) step in front of Charlotte protectively, even though she was more than happy to yell back.

"What I did?!" Charlotte reiterated in anger, not believing the nerve of the woman. She was the evil one, not her.

"Yeah!" Gwen growled, standing against the two girls, who were not afraid of a fight. They knew that they were in the right and she was in the wrong.

"We're not the ones who's been boppin' round here with a box of mystical muffins!" Charlotte argued, keeping a hand on (y/n)'s arm so she didn't lunge for Gwen. She hated her too and she would love nothing more than to see her friend give her what she deserved, but this wasn't the time for that.

"You little bitch, watch your step..." Gwen sneered and Charlotte had to take a step back to calm her nerves. She didn't want to fight either because she'd never win against a grown woman. However, luckily for her, she had a superhero on her side.

"Do you want another one? 'Cause I'll gladly beat your ass--" (y/n)'s threat was interrupted as her best friend appeared from the back, stopping her fist in the air. Dammit, why did he have to show up now?

"Gwen! I was just dreaming about the first time we met!" Ray cooed as he floated across the store and joined hands with Gwen, who was smirking at (y/n). The young woman instantly dropped her anger and reverted to her sad, reclusive self as she saw Ray go to her with a lovestruck smile.

"Hello, my sweet man." The criminal brushed his hair away from his eyes and looked at the Man Cave team with a smug smirk. She wanted them to know that she had their leader wrapped around her finger, especially since it rendered Miss Danger depressed and non-dangerous. 

"Ray, no!" Charlotte tried to stop him as she and Schwoz saw the way (y/n) lost all her confidence at the sight of Ray loving another.

"Quit--quit it!" Jasper slapped away Henry's hands as he had a different problem with love. Mainly that his best friend was acting crazy and wouldn't leave him alone.

"I can't quit you!" Henry replied in a cute baby voice and wrapped Jasper in another unwanted hug. 

"Ray, you don't really love her!" Charlotte tried again to get her boss away from that witch, but he was under her spell and couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Ray, she gave you a bad muffin that--" Even Schwoz couldn't get through to him and when he stood in between the couple, Ray just kept him sandwiched between them as he leaned over his head.

"She tricked you!" Charlotte yelled as (y/n) watched the scene with sad eyes. What had she done to deserve pain like this? If this was love, why did it hurt so much?

"Yah and she tried to do it to Henry too!" Schwoz gasped as he freed himself from the Ray-Gwen sandwich.

"Except Henry fell in love with Jasper by mistake!" The teen girl pointed to the best friends, where Jasper was still fighting off Henry's advances.

"Aw, my sweet girl's so smart!" Ray cooed, shattering the few remains of (y/n)'s heart that had somehow managed to keep beating. That was his name for her, no one else's and to hear it be used on someone else, someone who didn't deserve his love, was agonising.

"Can you please make all of these people leave so we can be alone?" Gwen trailed her finger up Ray's chest as Schowz and Charlotte frowned at her. She knew what she was doing, using Ray against them and it made them furious. 

"All right, everybody out!" He shouted at all his friends, who still couldn't believe that he was following her every order. Still, the muffins made people do anything and they realised that this wasn't his fault. Gwen was the one to blame.

"Come on, let's go!" He started to push them away as they protested, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. What Gwen wanted, Gwen would get. 

"Ray, we live here, you have no right to force us out!" (y/n) tried to fight him off, but he just kept pushing her, Charlotte, Schwoz, Henry and jasper out of the door.

"I don't want you here," Ray told her in a cold voice and suddenly, she stopped fighting. Those were the words she'd never wanted to hear coming from him and they'd only appeared in her worst nightmares. Now, they'd come to life.

"Hate to see ya go, but go! Bye-bye!" Gwen smirked at them as the last of her problems were forced out of the store. Good, with (y/n) out of the way, Ray had no hope of regaining his mind, meaning he was all hers.

~Henry's house~

The gang trudged up to Henry's porch, feeling defeated. (y/n) didn't have the energy left to cry or care about the weird looks she had received for wearing pyjamas in the middle of the afternoon on the street, she just felt numb. If she didn't belong in the Man Cave anymore, where did she belong?

"No--no--nope, stop it!" Jasper told Henry squished him against the front door when he tried to open it. All the way from the shop, he'd been snuggling and squeezing him and he'd had enough.

"I love you." He slurred and Jasper opened the door as quickly as possible. They all tumbled in, well, everyone apart from Schwoz did, who was barred from entry by Charlotte.

"Whoa, you can't come in." She told him and was met by a grumpy Schwoz.

"Why can't I go in there?" he. grumbled, wanting to sit with his friends and help the young woman through her grief. He also didn't want to stand out in the cold like a weirdo loitering on someone's porch.

"'Cause, what if Henry's parents are home?" Charlotte suggested, knowing that they'd be horrified to find a weird little foreign man in their house, even if he did work with their son.

"(y/n) is allowed in there!" He pointed to the young woman, who was trudging behind Jasper and a dumb-in-love Henry.

"That's because Henry's parents know her and are cool with her," Charlotte explained, which made Schwoz pout even more.

"But I can't stay out of here by myself!" He whined, but the young girl knew he'd be fine. No one was gonna want to kidnap him and take him home, it was Schwoz.

"Sure you can." She replied.

"No! What if someone tries to take me?" He suggested, but it just made the girl roll her eyes.

"Who would want you?" She sassed, leaving Schwoz speechless. Taking advantage of his silence, she slammed the door in his face and went over to her friends. Jasper was trying to comfort (y/n) as she curled up on the sofa and buried her face into a cushion, but there was little he could do.

"Tell me why Gwen would use tainted muffins to make Ray fall in love with her." The curly-haired boy said to his friend as he put a hand on (y/n)'s shoulder and Henry was walking around the kitchen in love haze.

"'Cause think about it. If Captain Man and Kid Danger are so in love that they can't fight crime, then they can't stop Gwen from doing whatever evil things she wants to do!" Charlotte explained, making (y/n) look up as she pondered the idea.

"What about (y/n)? She's a superhero." Jasper noted, gesturing to the pyjama-clad girl. 

"Gwen probably knows that Ray means a lot to her! So she's just going off the hope that (y/n) will be too sad to stop her from doing the evil things!" Charlotte added and the woman sat up with fire in her eyes.

"You got to admit, that bitch is clever." She sighed, snapping herself out of her sadness. She was still shaken, but she wasn't going to let Gwen beat her so easily. Ray needed her help and she was going to fight until her last breath to give it to him.

Okay then, I think we need to figure out how--how--ooo..." Jasper trailed off as Henry sat on the back of the couch and rubbed his shoulders lovingly. Even Jasper couldn't resist the pull of the gorgeous massage Henry was giving him, even though he hated how he was in love with him.

"JASPERRRR!" A loud, obnoxious voice came from the stairs and suddenly, Piper was trotting down the stairs in a foul mood.

"Oh, hey, Piper." He greeted the girl nervously, hoping that she wasn't angry about what he thought she was angry about.

"Did you go into my bathroom and take my curling iron?!" She snapped at the boy, who paled at her fury. He just wanted beautiful, curly locks, was that too much to ask for?

"Yeah, but I---" Jasper didn't need to defend himself, he had a best friend who was deeply in love with him and more than happy to bite back.

"Hey! Don't you yell at my Jasper!" Henry seethed at his sister, making his friends cringe at his odd choice of words.

"He jacked my girly-curly!" Piper hissed back. She was always ready for an argument, especially if she felt that she'd been wronged in some way. Stepping forward, she plucked two clumps of Jasper's eyelashes from his face as punishment for stealing her curling wand.

"Ow! She yanked off my eyelashes!" Jasper whined and turned to (y/n) so she could assess the damage. There wasn't much she could do, it would just sting for a few minutes, but Henry, well, he was seeing red.

"Piper! You just hurt someone I love!" The boy told her in a heartbroken, disgusted voice, but Piper wasn't done.

"Yeah, and I'm just getting started!" She growled and began to flick Jasper in the eyes as he groaned and moaned in pain.

"No, stop!" He begged, but she was too angry. She wanted him to feel pain.

"Piper, stop!" Henry yelled at her, feeling his fury grow and the lovey-dovey haze in his eyes was descending from a sweet pink colour into a deadly scarlet.

"Piper, quit that! No! No! Nooooo!" Henry reached his tipping point as his sister used her surprising strength to launch Jasper over the couch, which left him groaning in pain.

"Henry, oh my god! Are you okay?" (y/n) asked the teen as she noticed him convulsing and straining until he fell on the floor. Okay, what was going on?

"You okay?" Charlotte asked him too as Piper made herself scarce. Her work here was done, Jasper would never touch her stuff again. The girl and woman helped Henry to his feet and he blinked in confusion as his mind cleared.

"Ah, yeah. Yeah, I think so." He said in a tired voice and Jasper approached him cautiously when his best friend looked at him.

"No more hugging me, please." He begged Henry, whose face crumpled in disgust. Why would he want to do that?

"Hugging you? Ew." He gagged and his friends looked at each other in shock. The expression on Henry's face told them that he'd rather eat his own hand than give his friend a hug and that spoke volumes to them.

"Ewwww? Wait! Aren't you in love with Jasper?" Charlotte asked Henry as he rubbed his eyes and she waited for the response she was hoping for.

"In love with--what?! No, no!" The boy quickly denied it, much to the amazement of (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte.

"Holy shit, this is awesome!" The young woman breathed out as she smiled at Henry, even though he was still feeling pretty groggy.

"What is? How come Henry doesn't love me anymore?" Jasper whined. Sure, it was weird as hell to see his best friend look at him like that, but those shoulder rubs were nice.

"I think 'cause Piper when was harassing you, it made Henry feel really angry." Charlotte prompted and (y/n) suddenly knew what she was getting at.

"So?" Henry asked, still feeling puzzled after losing the effects from the muffin.

"So, when you feel strong emotions, your body releases chemicals into your brain." (y/n) explained and Jasper used her knowledge to piece everything together.

"Ohhh, so like, when Henry felt anger, it drove out his feelings of love?" Jasper theorised and he was bang on with his idea. The anger took over the love and then pushed it away, simple.

"Yeah, we think that's what happened.' Charlotte looked to (y/n) and she nodded in confirmation. It sounded plausible, now, they just needed to try it out on Ray.

"Okay, okay, so now, all we gotta do is make Ray like, insanely mad, so he'll fall out of love with Gwen," Henry said and they all knew that it was easier said than done.

"Well, but, how are we gonna get him mad enough?" Charlotte asked, but then the perfect person for the job popped into her mind and Henry's and Jasper's, as it happened.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" (y/n) asked as she saw three pairs of eyes on her and it made her skin prickle. Yeah, she knew how to make Ray tick but she didn't know if she wanted to see him like that, especially when it was directed at her.

"'Cause you know Ray better than anyone, you can get him mad," Henry told her. She knew everything about Ray, every wrinkle that made him seethe and scream, surely, she could think of something that could rile him up.

"Okay, but how should I do it? I can't just strike up a conversation with him, he can't hear me through his love dream thing, otherwise, we wouldn't be in this situation." (y/n) pointed out and they all took a minute to think. If a conversation wouldn't work, then they needed to up the ante. 

"Ooo, you could pick a fight with him," Jasper suggested and everyone liked that idea. 

"Yes." Henry nodded at his best friend as (y/n) started to plan what she'd say to her best friend. Of course, some obvious topics always upset him, but she had some other ideas too bouncing around her mind that could throw a spanner in the works. She hated to see him sad, but it was worth it because it was for his own good.

"Okay, I go in there, I start an argument and get him mad. Easy." (y/n) smiled at the boys, ready to get her friend and heart back, but Charlotte had some apprehension towards the plan.

"Oh, come on! Ray could kill you! You can't pick a fight with Ray!" The young girl reminded her of Ray's brutal strength and the worry in her eyes melted (y/n)'s heart. It was nice to have her friend's care and concern, but this was the only way.

"Char, one of us has to do it and I've got my super-regeneration so--" She tried to calm the girl, but she wasn't done.

"It might not be enough...If Ray loses his temper, there's no knowing what he'll do to you." She said softly and the woman knew she was right. Captain Man's strength was legendary and if unleashed against her small body, her power might not be able to keep up with a vicious attack. 

"We don't have a choice. If it's not me, then it's got to be one of you three." She looked at the kids and Charlotte and Jasper immediately put their hands up.

"Not it!" They said together, effectively naming Henry as the backup option. 

"Well, if I die, you're up next, Hen." (y/n) giggled at the young boy, but he was ready to step up if he had to. He'd probably survive slightly longer than Jasper and Charlotte if Ray started to throw him around the room.

"Then, let's go." Charlotte accepted their fates and they walked to the door. Poor Schwoz had been jumped by a group of mean kids and was being beaten on the ground when they opened the door. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone.

"Hey, hey, hey! Get outta here!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Pick on someone your own size!"

"Delinquents!" The four yelled at the kids and they quickly scarpered when the group appeared. They were smart enough to know when they were outnumbered, but clearly not smart enough to know that bullying people wasn't cool.

"Jerks!" Schwoz yelled after them with a grouchy face and threw a twig at the kids' retreating bodies. He missed by a mile, but it made him feel better; he couldn't help it if he was an easy target for a pack of bullies.

"Come on, let's get to the Man Cave!" Henry said to his friends and they all briskly walked off the porch as Schwoz collected his shoes that the children had removed. Poor guy, he always got the short end of the stick.

~In the Man Cave~

So listening to Ray and Gwen makeout was one of the hardest things (y/n) ever had to do. She and Henry were hiding behind a machine at the back of the room as they waited for Ray to be alone and with the noise of smacking lips in her ears, it felt like forever.

"Ugh, this is revolting." She grumbled to the boy as they kneeled in the corner. Her voice was low and her knees were cold, but they couldn't risk being spotted by that evil witch. That would ruin the plan and then they'd be back at square one.

"Shhh, it's all right. You know, he doesn't mean it." Henry reminded her that Ray wasn't in his right mind and (y/n) nodded with a sigh. Right, he didn't know what he was doing, but she was still stuck in the friendzone either way. She was his friend, nothing more.

"I know, I know, but it's still gross. All she uses is tongue." (y/n) shuddered, but suddenly, Henry grabbed her shoulder and peeked around the corner of the machinery.

"Look! She's leaving!" He told her and he was right. Gwen said something about robbing the Swellview Bank and then she was off through the sprocket, probably going to freshen up in Ray's room or leave a mousetrap in (y/n)'s bed. Either way, she was up to no good, but it gave them the opportunity they needed. 

"Oh god, oh god, wish me luck." She breathed to the kid and stepped out from their hiding place. It was now or never with all her courage mustered.

"Soooo...Charlotte?" She started, following the plan they had come up with and upon hearing her cue, the girl sprung from behind the cabinet next to the elevator.

"Yeah, (y/n/n)?" The girl asked politely and innocently as she walked down from the tubes. Ray looked at them like they were insane but they kept going as per the plan.

"Who do you think should win the "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview"?" (y/n) asked the girl, starting off with a small irritating thing that would no doubt get under Ray's skin.

""Most Attractive guy in Swellview"?" She reiterated, making sure that Ray heard what they were talking about. This was sure to make him mad, even if it was just a starting point.

"Yeah, who do you think should win it?" (y/n) asked again, keeping her focus on her young friend so she wouldn't falter.

"Uh...." Charlotte held off for a minute and that's when Jasper stood up from behind the couch to say his line.

"Hey, what about Henry's dad?" He prompted, irritating Ray a bit. He had the worst hiding place and had nearly puked when he heard the couple kissing and slobbering over each other. Next, came Henry, who trotted down from the same place (y/n) did, with an innocent look on his face.

"Oh, yeah, my dad." He agreed and he and Jasper walked over to the girls. So far, so good.

"Yah, your dad is so hot," Schwoz added, springing up from the supercomputer. Okay, they were all assembled and now, they just had to set (y/n) up for the kill. 

"Uh-huh, very true, I think he's gorgeous, a very attractive man." The young woman lied to her friends and they all heartily agreed, which struck a chord with Ray. Wait, why did his best friend liking another guy get to him so much? Through his Gwen mindset, the notion pierced his heart and was like the first droplet that would start the tsunami of rage and free him.

"Wait, wait, wait a second, you guys." He interrupted their happy chatter as he tried to make sense of his jealousy. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, was all his brain was supposed to be loving so why was (y/n) suddenly creeping into his thoughts?

"Yeah?"

"What's up, buddy?" They all looked at him with friendly faces, but they could all see the first signs of exasperation on his face. Oh good, they were getting to him.

"Just a friendly reminder, I've won "Most Attractive Guy in Swellview" for the past twelve years, sooo...it's kinda in the bag." Ray bragged, not knowing that he was falling right into their trap. This was exactly what (y/n) had predicted and with a nod from the teens, she moved into phase two.

"Well, yeah, but...you're kinda old now, so...not much point in hoping." (y/n) smiled at him, gulping when she said the "o-word" and saw how his face dropped. Ray's age was a touchy subject; he hated that despite all his power and fame, even he couldn't escape time. He was slowly getting older and older with each passing day. 

"I'm old?" He repeated, thinking he'd misheard her. Schwoz, Henry, Charlotte and Jasper were tight-lipped as they watched the couple go toe-to-toe. They were nervous, but they trusted her to get the job done and hopefully, Ray would remember how much he loved her before he started throwing fists.

"Yeah, I mean, you're so much older than me. What are you, like, over fifty?" She asked, deliberately exaggerating her estimation for maximum anger. She knew Ray's exact age like she knew her own, but she had to be cruel to be kind.

"Fif--did you just use the f-word?" Ray gawped at her in shock, thinking that his best friend was way out of order, but she just smirked and laughed in his face. 'Gwen, no, (y/n), Gwen, but (y/n)'s so pretty, no, I...love Gwen?' His mind was at war and the young woman was making it worse.

"Hey, look, I'm just saying that--" She laughed it off, but Ray was in arguing mode now.

"I'm thirty-five, (y/n). You know that." He said and patted her bare arms. She was so getting dressed after this was done. Not knowing how to carry on after that, she turned around and saw Jasper, Henry and Charlotte pointing to their hair and she got the message. Good idea.

"Well, I mean, I've noticed that you're starting to lose your hair a bit..." She told him and Ray whipped around with an angry face. 'Don't be scared, don't be scared.' She told herself and kept her expression light-hearted and disparaging. 

"What did you just say to me?" He growled at her and seeing that he was sufficiently angry, she moved onto phase three.

"Oh hey, where's Gwen?" She asked innocently, but also like she was hiding something. She played off her mocking tone by looking around the room for the evil woman and Ray glared daggers at her back.

"Gwen happens to be getting ready to go rob a bank." He informed her and she nodded in understanding. This one would really get to him.

"Or...maybe she's not going to rob a bank. Maybe, and I'm just throwing this out there, she's going to meet some other guy." She suggested and sat down on the computer chair with her arms folded and one leg crossed over the other. It was a horrible thing to suggest, but it didn't matter, it wasn't real love anyway.

"She's going to rob a bank," Ray hissed in a childish voice, but the young woman had planted the seed of doubt in his mind and it was festering into a furious rampage. Much like what Henry had experienced, the pink love dream was fading into red as Ray succumbed to his anger.

"Or maybe...she's going to meet some guy named Rob...Banks." (y/n) hinted, a look of amusement on her face just so she could watch Ray get angry at her bemused attitude.

"That's stupid. That's not a guy's name." He frowned, saying it more to himself than anyone else. Hey, since when was (y/n) so beautiful with grubby pyjamas and messy hair?

"Uh, yeah it is. Get real, doofus. Gwen doesn't want you, she wants Robert J. Banks." She taunted him, following closely behind him as he stomped away from the computer. She wasn't going to let him escape and neither were the kids or Schwoz. They had the exits covered, Ray couldn't go anywhere. It was just him, (y/n) and their argument.

"Y'know why? I bet he's way better-looking than you." She hissed in his ear, standing her tiptoes so she could say it in a malicious whisper. Ray was tensed in anger and his skin shivered at the feeling of her breath on his ear; why was she so alluring all of sudden? Gwen...

"Not possible." He shouted in response as the love chemical fought to keep control of his brain. However, his real love was stronger and it was a battle that would surely be won by his heart.

"Yep. He's probably in his early thirties, y'know, young and handsome." She snapped back in a strong voice, daring him to get even angrier. 

"That's enough, (y/l/n)," Ray ordered her, not liking this new insubordination from his best friend. How dare she question Gwen's love for him? But damn, she was hot when she was angry...

"Yeah, he's gonna kiss her so good, because why would she want you? A middle-aged, unattractive nobody who sucks at kissing! And trust me, I know! I've had experience and it was terrible, why would anybody want you?" She ranted, spewing cruel lies left, right and centre and the small part of his brain that was free turned furious at the thought of losing his soulmate over being a bad kisser, the girl he'd dreamed of kissing ever since they shared one and it was the final straw for Ray.

"Ahhhhh!" He yelled and lunged for her, grabbing her by the shoulders and the thin straps of her pyjama vest.

"Oh shit!" She squealed as Ray used his brute strength to throw her across the room, making her land harshly by the elevator. Her friends cringed as her ankles collided with a cabinet and she had to admit, that hurt. She took a few seconds to give her body the chance to repair her sprained ankle and numerous cuts, bruises and lumps. Okay, she had to keep going.

"Look, Ray, it's not my fault she likes younger guys." She panted and scrambled to her feet as Ray stormed towards her again. Ray seized her by the throat and she gulped at the fury in his eyes. Fury was good but it also was cutting off her air supply and crushing her windpipe.

"Oh, wow, look at that! A grey hair! Wow, there's loads, you're going grey, Raymond!" She smirked and ran her fingers through his hair even though movement made the burning of her lungs worse.

Not wanting to be mocked anymore, she was thrown to the floor again as Ray growled in rage. At least this time, all she had to heal was some bruised palms and a cracked larynx. She groaned as she laid at the teens' feet, but she couldn't say down for long.

"Keep going, you gotta make him madder!" Charlotte knelt beside her head and Henry agreed. Ray was mad, but he wasn't mad enough. 

"Don't you think I'm working on that?---Whoaaa!" She was dragged away by her ankles as Ray continued to beat her up. The irritation of the tiles on her belly made small friction burns appear where her tank-top rode up, but that was the least of her worries. Dragging her to her feet again by her hair, Ray forced her to the ground again, so her battered body slid across the room. Okay, she really wanted this to stop now. Time to get clever.

"Come on, hard man, you ain't so bad! Come get me, dickhead!" She jeered at him and this time when he went to grab her throat, she ducked out the way and went to jump on his back. Ray was too experienced for that rookie move though and threw his torso back so she was bashed against the couch.

"This is so cool to watch!" Jasper told her as she bent over the back of the sofa and caught her breath. She'd never put her regeneration through this much suffering and she was starting to get the idea that too much usage could really wear her down. 

"Oh, I'm glad you're enjoying my pain." She smiled sarcastically at the boy and patted his shoulder, but Jasper recoiled quickly when Ray came back. He grabbed her shoulders again and pushed her harshly against the steps at the back of the Man Cave, making the young woman wince.

"Oh, that's definitely a broken rib." She yelped, clutching her side in pain, but she had very little time to feel it pop back into shape as Ray charged at her. Raising her leg, she stopped him in his tracks before he could swipe at her and she pushed him back. 

"She probably makes muffins for all the guys." She gasped at Ray and got back on her feet even though her body was begging her to do the smart thing and stay down.

"She only makes muffins for me!" Ray screamed at her with a snarling face, but she just gave him the finger and smirked.

"Well, that's not what I heard!" She shrieked back and that's when he lunged at her for the millionth time.

"Oh, god!" She squealed as Ray flipped her over in a somersault and her back flopped roughly on the tiles. Oh good, a slipped disk, how lovely. Yet another injury that her genes rushed to repair as she lay paralysed on the floor.

"(y/n)!" Henry ran to her side with Jasper and Charlotte close behind him. They helped her up when she told them to do so and she panted at the exertion. Blood was trickling from the corner of her mouth and for a brief second, she wondered if it would be better to give up before he killed her. No. She was going to snap him out of Gwen's control or she was going to die trying.

"Uh-oh..." Schwoz's fearful voice made her look to her best friend and her eyes widened as she watched him grab a blaster from a drawer. Shit, she was too close to the others.

"Ray, don't!" Charlotte begged him, but he couldn't stop his rage. Shoving herself away from her friends, (y/n) stood in front of them protectively and stared down the barrel of Ray's gun. She never thought she'd see him point one at her, but it would always be her before her friends, especially the kids. 

"You know, Ray, I never thought I'd feel this way about you but I do. I can't help it, it's just been on my mind for a while now..." She started, giving Ray her best glare as she shrugged off the flinch from him cocking the blaster.

"(y/n), don't!" Jasper begged her, not believing she was being so reckless when her best friend had a gun in his hand. Yes, they had to make him angry, but this was too extreme, even for a super-regenerating heroine.

"I'm sorry, Ray, but I hate you!" She told him in an insulting tone and she kept her cool despite her thumping heart. She saw his eyes twinge in recognition as his finger stilled on the trigger and then...he groaned and started to shake. 

"I think you did it! It's working!" Charlotte gasped as the young woman trembled and watched her best friend fall to the floor. Thank god, it was over. 

"Ray?! Ray?!" Henry, Schwoz, Jasper and Charlotte scrambled to the man's side as she stayed leaning against the couch. She needed a minute.

"Can you hear us?" Charlotte asked him as he was led over to the supercomputer chair. (y/n) stumbled behind the group, trying to keep her nausea down as she tasted the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. She felt exhausted, but her hope was burning bright and that was what was keeping her going. 

"Ray, are you okay?" Henry reiterated as his boss puffed in the chair and shook his head from side to side. He felt so groggy and confused, but at the same time, like he'd been set free.

"Ah, what happened?..." He asked his friends as he tried to remember what he'd been doing for the past twenty-four hours. All he could see was his friends crowding around him, well, not all of them, one was holding back.

"...I was in love with a woman, uh...Gwen!" Ray gasped as the woman's evil smirk flashed into his mind. He couldn't describe how it had felt to be controlled, it was like he wanted to stop his actions, but he couldn't. Everything that was him had been shoved aside for the mind-control to take over and he couldn't stop it.

"She gave you a love muffin," Schwoz explained and Ray looked confused. He remembered something about muffins, but things seemed so blurry, he wasn't thinking straight.

"Yeah and then, (y/n) had to make you really mad so your feelings of rage and anger would overpower your muffin-induced feelings of love," Henry recalled and Ray snapped his head to the boy at the mention of his girl. She wasn't with them so...

"(y/n)...where is she?" He demanded to know and Henry and Charlotte looked at each other nervously before parting ways. (y/n) was still stood against the couch, listening to every word. Ray's eyes grew wide from horror as he took in her appearance; her pyjamas were torn and grubby, blood-stained in some areas where she'd suffered a scrape and she still had dark circles under her eyes and dried blood in the corner of her mouth. He stood up rapidly and she offered him a small smile to make him calm down, but he couldn't stop his heart from breaking.

"What...happened?" He asked her as he cautiously stepped towards her and she loosely folded her arms across her tummy. She was still hurting badly from what had happened to her that day. The beating, the sobbing, the prospect of losing her home, but most of all, the fact that she was still just his friend, nothing more, even after everything she'd been through.

"I made you mad and, uh...you, well, got mad." She told him nervously and he choked up. He did this? The blood, the torn clothing, the bags under her eyes, he hurt her? 

"I--I did this?" He stuttered, tears springing in his eyes as she sighed kindly. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know what he was doing. She wanted him to get angry and she knew that she'd be hurt. And it wasn't like her physical injuries were permanent, no, they had healed just fine, all that was left was her bleeding heart.

"I'm fine, honestly. Y'know, super-regeneration and stuff. I'll live." She giggled, even though she was feeling anything but humourous. 

"Sweet girl, I--" Ray started and his fingers twitched to reach for her cheek, but before he could say something, anything, the sprocket opened and the witch stepped out.

"Quick, guys, go hide! Take care of (y/n)!" Ray turned to his friends and gently guided the young woman into Henry's arms so he could take her to behind the couch. His touch was so tender to what it had been five minutes ago.

"Okay, Ray, I'm about to leave. It should take me about, hmmm...twenty minutes to rob the bank." Gwen told the superhero as she sauntered down the steps. She didn't see any other movement in the room, thankfully and the team tucked themselves into their hiding places.

"Aw, that sounds great." Ray smiled at her, even though the mere sight of her made his stomach churn. God, that must've been a strong muffin to distract his heart from the love he felt for his best friend. She was perfect and Gwen was so...blergh.

"Oh hey, how do you like my ponytail?" The criminal asked him, ruffling her hair up seductively and fluttering her eyelashes at the superhero. There was only one person he wanted to see do that, he was sure of that now. 

"Oh...I love it. I mean it's really cute and just so--" Ray brought his hand up to her head with a charming smile on his face. Gwen accepted his touch, but the moment his fingertips got to her hair, he yanked the ponytail clean off.

"You just ripped my ponytail off my head!" Gwen glared at him, but her sneer dropped when she saw how Ray wasn't looking at her with love, he was looking at her with hate.

"You're not in love with me anymore." She gasped and suddenly felt like she was trapped. 

"Nope, not anymore, bitch." (y/n) stood up from her hiding place with Henry and Jasper and Gwen gulped when she realised that she was outnumbered. She wasn't in charge anymore.

"Sorry, Gwen," Charlotte smirked as the woman backed up and scanned the room for an escape room. Oh, she was definitely panicking now.

"How'd you like dem muffins?" Jasper quipped, making his friends smirk. Oh, Jasper, he was goofy but loveable.

"And now, Gwen, I'd be honoured to escort you to prison," Ray told her, but she'd planned for this. The first rule of being a criminal: have a backup plan and Gwen's was particularly sneaky. She held up her phone in Ray's face, making everyone step back. What was she planning?

"Look out!"

"She's got a phone!" Jasper cried, holding his hands up like a karate master. Yeah, like he could chop his way out of trouble.

"So, who cares?" (y/n) seethed as she kept her glare fixed on her rival. She would be her greatest enemy for a long time.

"You better care, bitch. Because if I tap right here, it's gonna send a post out telling the whole world that Ray Manchester is Captain Man, Henry Hart is Kid Danger and silly little (y/n) (y/l/n) is Miss Danger." Gwen threatened the three supers as she stepped up to the tubes. Oh, that was evil, the perfect escape plan.

"Anything about me?" Jasper raised his hand and asked. He was curious to see if she had thought of him too, but she didn't care about a stupid teenage boy.

"You let me go, and I'll keep your secret. Deal?" Gwen offered the three and they descended into whispers as they thought about what to do.

"Do we have a deal or don't we?" Gwen demanded harshly, leaving them almost no time to think about their situation. It wasn't really a deal, more of a forced ceasefire.

"Yeah, we've got a deal...for now." Ray hissed at her, seeing no other way to keep himself and his Man Cave family safe.

"But someday, you're going to jail," Henry promised her. He wouldn't rest until he saw that cruel face behind bars for what she had done to his friends.

"I doubt it," Gwen smirked as a tube came down around her. She had the upper hand and she knew it.

"Buh-bye, boys and girls!" She said, expecting to blast off, but of course, the tube wouldn't work unless you said the magic words, which she didn't know.

"Off I go!... Okay, what words do I have to say to activate the tube suckage?" She asked the giggling group, feeling pretty annoyed at how foolish she was appearing.

"Oh yeah...it's uh, diamonds, rubies, lift me...tubies." (y/n) joked, struggling to keep a straight face. She wouldn't believe that, would she?

"Thank you, maybe you're not as stupid and useless as I first thought...Diamonds, rubies, lift me, tubies!" Gwen yelled and everyone burst out laughing as she stayed on her spot. Oh god, that was a good one.

"Oh dear, Gwen. Looks like you're definitely as stupid and useless as I first thought." (y/n) mocked her through her giggles, loving that she was able to get one up on the woman one last time.

"I will tap this button, I swear I will tap it!" Gwen hissed and everyone straightened themselves out. No more joking around, it wasn't worth the risk.

"Uh, just say, up the tube," Charlotte told her reluctantly and Gwen followed her advice. She was gone in a flash and they could only hope that she'd keep her word.

"Whew. This whole thing was insane." Charlotte sighed as they relaxed, although no one noticed how (y/n) had gone quiet. Really quiet.

"Yeah, no kidding." Henry breathed out, glad that it was finally over, even though it wasn't.

"Well, at least we all learned something valuable," Schwoz told them, making them look at him in confusion.

"What'd we learn?" Jasper asked, thinking that they'd learnt nothing.

"We all learned that no matter how strong love is...anger is stronger." He told them and he didn't realise that it made the young woman behind the group hyperventilate more.

"Good point," Henry said, thinking that it was fair play. That's technically what they had learned, but it wasn't very comforting for a woman who had nearly lost everything.

"Hey, (y/n/n), what do you--oh my god, are you okay?" Charlotte turned to joke around with her, but her happy mood soon died when she saw how pale her friend was. Everyone else turned around to see their friend panicking and shaking and they realised that a night's worth of no sleep, just worry was catching up to her.

"(y/n), are you okay?" Ray asked her again and reached out to touch her, but she was already walking backwards away from his reach and the gang.

"Uh, no---uh, I...don't know. I just...need to be alone for a while," She stuttered, holding her hand to her forehead as she stumbled up the steps to a tubepad. 

"Sweet girl, let me come with--" Ray tried to follow her, but she looked at him in terror and it glued him to the floor. She'd never looked at him like that, not once. Was their friendship not strong enough to survive this?

"--No, I just, ugh...up the tube!" She cried out before she had to explain herself and she left them all standing there in confusion. She rode higher and higher and higher until she reached her little slice of heaven, her happy place.

"Guys, what do we do? We gotta help her!" Jasper exclaimed, looking to Henry and Charlotte for answers since they had known her longer than he had. But just because he'd only been working at Junk-N-Stuff for like, two weeks, it didn't mean he cared any less.

"Guys, she wants to be alone," Ray told them in a defeated voice and sloped off to go slouch on the sofa. He was her best friend and she didn't want him, so how could they hope to help? He'd lost her, he'd finally fucked up enough to push her away and that broke him. 

"Wait, there is one thing we can do..." Henry speculated, looking to Charlotte with a spark in his eyes. It was risky and possibly dangerous, something they'd only drafted together for dire emergencies, which made it perfect for now. Maybe it would work.

"You don't mean..." Charlotte gawped at him, not believing he was willing to go for it. They'd only planned it on a boring homework night, like, two years ago, it was daring and precarious. Was he sure?

"Charlotte...lobsters." Henry confirmed, making Schwoz and Jasper look at him like he was an alien. Lobsters?

"Henry, just leave it, she said she wants--" Ray's gruff grumbling was cut off by Henry, who was determined to do something, once and for all.

"Ray. I know what I'm doing, trust me. I'm gonna go talk to her." Henry told his boss firmly, his tone leaving no room for arguing. He'd thought about this plan long and hard. He wasn't going to let this ship sink, not on his watch.

"Charlotte, five minutes." He murmured to the girl as he walked past but she knew what to do. If they were doing this, then she was ready. Henry jumped up to the tubepad and waited for it to come down. He knew where (y/n) would be, she always went there when she was sad.

"Up the tube!" He yelled like she had done minutes before and with a whoosh of air, he was on his way. The clock was ticking.

~On the roof~

Project Lobster was a tricky thing and the brainchild of Charlotte and Henry for when they reached the point of crisis. Two years of watching Ray pine for (y/n) and (y/n) pine for Ray had led them to this, extreme measures. They just hoped it worked.

Henry stepped out onto the roof and sure enough, there was (y/n). She was leaning on the ledge, looking out at the city with soft, teary eyes and she sensed that she wasn't alone. This was her spot, she knew when something was up.

"Y'know, Ray showed me this. Valentine's Night, almost two years ago." She called out to the boy, not even having to turn around to know it was him. She could recognise Henry's footsteps easily, even if he was treading carefully.

"The roof?" He asked tentatively after shaking off his shock, confused as to why she liked it up here so much. It was windy and baren, but he hadn't seen the best bit yet.

"No, dummy. This." She gestured to the cityscape before her and she wondered if she had the same look of amazement that Henry had on his face when she first saw the view. His mouth was open like a goldfish as he took in the golden sky, streaked with burnt orange as the sun sank on the horizon. The city didn't seem to be so noisy all the way up here and the park was tranquil, no blaring, teenage music or fights from angry adults, just calm. 

"I never knew Swellview could look like this." Henry breathed out, making her chuckle sadly. It had that effect on everyone.

"Yeah, that was my reaction." She whispered, keeping her melancholy gaze on her fingers as they rested on the wall. 

"Hey...are you okay?" Henry asked, wanting to be gentle even though he was aware that he couldn't stay up here forever. Charlotte was keeping Ray busy downstairs and he had to stick to the plan.

"I wish people would stop asking, 'cause I...don't know." She told the boy, letting out a sigh and watching a flock of birds fly over their heads. Life become so complicated that she couldn't make heads or tails of it anymore. 

"Tell me," Henry instructed her, although it wasn't a command, more of a request from a concerned friend.

"Henry...it's stupid." She exhaled, not wanting to burden a young boy with what was bringing her down. She had been holding it in for nearly six years, she could hold it a bit longer.

"No, it's not. Say it, it's okay." The teen grabbed her hand and squeezed it, more than happy to be the one supporting her for a change. She had been there for him, now he was there for her.

"It's just...today, hearing Ray talk about marriage and kissing her and loving her...it got to me," she said it in the simplest way she could. Emotions are difficult things and they're often so complex, they can't be put into words.

"It was the love muffin." Henry reminded her, even though she knew that already. She'd had more than enough of damn love muffins for an entire lifetime.

"Yeah, I know, but it made me realise that one day, I'm actually going to have to watch him walk down the aisle and it won't be me on his arm." She choked up, thinking about how she'd always been the friend, always been the shoulder for him to cry on, always there to pick up the pieces...but never the girlfriend, the one he wanted like that. 

"Henry, I can't stand by and watch him marry someone else—I'm not strong enough. I know I pretend like I don't care but I do. I really, fucking do and it's killing me that he'll never see how much I love him. I want him so much and I can't keep lying, not anymore. " She confessed, letting a tear slip down her cheek. She was so fed up with crying, it was surprising that she had any tears left after sobbing for nearly two days straight. 

It was true though, she had been through so much with him: meeting Henry, then Charlotte, breaking into their school as fake teachers, nearly getting eaten by a space bug, meeting Schwoz again, watching Henry become a man-beast, battling Invisible Brad, twice, giving Ray his childhood back, nearly dying from letting a psycho into the Man Cave on a tour, defeating the Wall Dogs, being hypnotised by Dr Minyak, defeating the Time Jerker, the Christmas Kiss, superpowers, an opposite universe, Ox Pox, the return of The Toddler and Jasper's arrival. No one else had stuck with him through all of that, did it mean nothing to him that she had?

"So don't." Henry's words broke through her memories and she looked up at him in bewilderment. What was he going on about?

"What do you mean?" (y/n) asked him, looking at him in suspicion, but he wouldn't give anything away.

"Look, just come back down to the Man Cave in...three minutes and I'll explain everything then." He told her quickly after glancing at his watch and ignored the way her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Why?" She looked him up and down, but couldn't pick anything up except that he was nervous or excited about something. Weird.

"It doesn't matter, but you have to come down in three minutes exactly, promise?" He gave her his best begging look and the offer of a promise was too good for her to resist. 

"Okay, I promise." She nodded, seeing that this was important to him. She could do as she was told, it wasn't like she had anything better to do.

"Good. Three minutes." Henry repeated the time again and then turned to leave her alone. He stepped on the tubepad and braced himself for the journey down. He just hoped this would play out perfectly.

~Back in the Man Cave~

"And that's why an octopus has three hearts." Charlotte finished recounting her story to Ray, Jasper and Schwoz, the latter of whom were very interested in what she had to say. Ray, on the other hand, was too depressed to care about octopi and their hearts, he only had one and it was broken. 

"Fascinating." He grumbled, his head resting on his palm as he slumped over on the couch. As per Project Lobster's details, Charlotte had made him shuffle around the half-moon shape until he had his back to the tubes and now, he was in position for the big finale.

"Sup, people?" Henry greeted his friends as he came down the tube on time, landing with his heart racing. This was happening and it wasn't a drill, he just had to stay calm and work with Charlotte.

"Hey, how'd it go?" The young girl asked him, Ray not even bothering to turn around. Well, that was good, that's what they wanted. 

"Oh, you know, she's still not ready to come down yet," Henry replied loudly but held up three fingers to indicate to Charlotte the time they had to play with. Three minutes on the clock and they were counting down fast. 

"Is she finished with me? Does she want to leave?" Ray asked his sidekick in a monotone voice as his heart clenched in pain from the thought of losing her. He didn't want her to go, not like this.

"Uhhh, she didn't say, why?" The boy replied, signalling to Charlotte for her to take over as he silenced the tube alarm. He couldn't make it completely silent, but he was sure that without the loud beeping, Ray wouldn't notice a thing.

"'Cause I've screwed up the one good thing I have and now my best friend hates me." Ray gulped down the lump in his throat and rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from flowing. He loved her so much, more than life itself and now she was gonna leave... Two minutes to go.

"Hey, Ray, what makes you love (y/n) so much? I mean, she's just a girl and you've gone out with hundreds of those." Charlotte prompted him, leaving it open for him to ramble to his heart's content. Schwoz and Jasper were very confused and wanted to say something, but a stern look from Henry and a finger on his lips told them that any interruption could spell disaster, so they buttoned it. 

"She's not just a girl, she's perfect and cute and smart. She knows how to make me laugh and she's not boring or big-headed. All the other girls are just dumb or blinded by Captain Man, but not my (y/n). She sees me, she sees Ray..." Ray argued, hating that Charlotte had called (y/n) just a girl. She was so much more than that.

"How did you meet?" The teen girl moved on to her next question, keeping the time in the back of her mind.

"In a coffee shop. Some jerk had broken in and held her captive, but by the time I'd gotten there, she'd already hit him over the head with a chair and dealt with everything. She was so shy and small but...beautiful. I asked her to come work for me." Ray explained, a soft smile on his face. That was the day his life became brighter, when a twenty-year-old college student beat some petty criminal up for spilling coffee down her shirt. 

"Right, that's cute. So, she's special to you?" Henry asked the question this time and he came to stand with Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz at the couch. There was nothing left for them to do now. One minute on the clock and it was all up to Ray.

"Yeah, of course, she's special. She's stuck around through everything I've made her do and she's never complained. I make her fix my crap and wait up and do my laundry and now I take her into dangerous fights, for god's sake. What kind of a job is that for someone like her? A gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, young woman.  She's so outta my league and I know she deserves someone better who can give her a good life, but I can't help it...I'm in love with (y/n)."

"What?" Zero seconds on the clock.

Ray had shut out the world and all the noises it forced onto him, including the whoosh of a tube coming down with a weary young woman inside. She had stepped out of the glass casing just in time for her to hear the last bit and it was her gobsmacked utterance that cut through his daydream.

"What?" Ray gasped, shooting up like he'd been burnt by the couch and whipped around to see (y/n) looking at him with a wonderstruck expression. Henry, Charlotte, Schwoz and Jasper were frozen with excited trepidation; no one dared to move a muscle. Ray looked at his best friend with absolute fear from his loose-lipped admittance and felt his heart explode in panic.

"You love me?" She asked softly like she couldn't believe it herself. And she couldn't. 

She hadn't misheard and a pinch on the inside of her arm told her she wasn't dreaming, he'd actually said it. He'd actually said the words she'd only ever imagined in her wildest fantasies. 

"Wha..how--how much of that did you h-hear?" He asked her, feeling the most scared he had ever been in his life. He'd rather fight all his enemies at once than face her like this. He could practically feel the rejection coming.

"Enough..." she answered carefully, treating the situation with the utmost care like if she clung to this moment too hard, it would break. 

"Listen, (y/n), it was a mis--" She couldn't bear to let him finish, not this time. No more bouncing around the truth, not anymore. 

"No, you listen to me, Raymond Manchester. No more lies. I want the truth because I think that we aren't honest enough with each other and...we both deserve clarity after so much confusion." She told him calmly and clearly, even though she was feeling anything but calm. Absolutely fucking terrified was the correct way to describe how she was feeling or the closest she could get.

"The truth?" He repeated, looking her straight in the eyes. He'd known the truth for a long time and it had been his closely guarded secret, but not anymore.

"It's all I want." She nodded, leaving him to make the next move. The move that would change everything. 

"The truth is (y/n) (y/l/n)...I love you, so much it hurts." Ray whispered and the world stopped. His heart was thumping and bracing itself for loneliness and a life without its soulmate, whilst hers was soaring and reaching out to grab on and never let go. This was real and it was everything she'd ever asked for.

"Oh..." She gasped quietly, not knowing how else to react at first. Her mind took a second to let the confession settle in and for Ray, he took it as her being disappointed. 

His face broke away as he bit back tears again. So this was what they meant by heartbreak, it wasn't seeing her with other guys or missing her when she wasn't around, it was knowing that he'd made an error of judgement and it cut deep.

Snapping out of her shock, (y/n) stepped forwards and looked at his crumpled face. He needn't worry so much, she was right next to him, where she knew she belonged. 

"Don't look so sad, it's a good thing because...I love you too." Her face erupted into a smile when Ray's gaze shot to her face with so much shock, he looked comical. He couldn't think of anything to say that could triumph over what she had just told him so he just wrapped his arms around her shoulders and brought her into a warm embrace. The first of many that told them that they were home in each other's arms.

It was then that they both realised that their friends were shouting, clapping, whistling and dancing in celebration as they congratulated the couple and themselves for getting together at last.

"Finally!" Henry told Ray and clapped him on the back as (y/n) briefly let go of her doofus to hug Charlotte, Jasper and even Schwoz. This was their victory as much as hers and Ray's and it felt so unbelievably good to not keep their secrets anymore.

"Wait, how long have you lot known about him loving me?" (y/n) asked the group, who smirked at the baffled couple. They had drifted into each other's arms again and for the first time in forever, neither one was shy or embarrassed about needing the other's touch.

"Uh, since the moment I met you." Henry and Charlotte said together, making the couple chuckle. That was, like, two years ago, how long had this been going on?

"I've watched you two pretend not to love each other for eight years or more. You are both very blind." Schwoz shrugged nonchalantly, acting like it was no big deal, but it was. 

"Eig--you never said anything, doofus!" (y/n) slapped Ray's shoulder playfully as she leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heart beating and now she knew—it was beating for her.

"Neither did you!" He argued back and pressed his lips to the top of her head. God, the girl of his dreams loved him as he loved her, he hadn't been chasing a hopeless fantasy for all these years, it was real. He didn't know who he had pleased to deserve this, but he wasn't going to let her go again. 

"Sorry...I thought you loved all those girls you dated, you never seemed to notice me. I just assumed that everything I feel for you was one-sided." She confessed, absentmindedly drawing patterns on his white shirt with her finger. Finally, she could enjoy having those massive arms around her and not feel weird for thinking her best friend was hot.

"They meant nothing to me, I promise. I tried to distract myself, 'cause I... I thought you were out of my league since you're so damn gorgeous." His baritone voice made chills go down her spine, and she gasped at his words. Coming from him, they made desire pool in her lower stomach and she decided that she wouldn't mind hearing them for the rest of her life.

"Ray, I look like shit." She chuckled bashfully and gestured to the pyjamas that still covered her body. They were wrecked, bloody, torn and dirty and they made her feel anything but gorgeous. 

"Nah, you look beautiful." He smiled down at her and loved the way her cheeks flared up with a pink blush. So cute and all his.

"Well, Project Lobster was a success." Henry shook hands with Charlotte, who definitely agreed. If they had known that it would work this well, they'd have done it a lot sooner.

"What the hell is Project Lobster?" Ray asked the teens as he cradled his girl to his chest. His girl, he'd been saying that for a while now, but he hadn't realised how right he'd been. It felt right, so very right and he knew that he'd say it for the rest of his life if she'd let him. 

"Henry and I came up with a plan, nearly two years ago, to get you two to say I love you." Charlotte began to explain and the couple listened eagerly.

"We would get you both alone and then you walk in on the other person saying it and then you'd be all gross and stuff." Henry brushed over the basics of the plan, which made it seem a lot more simple than it had been. It was like a Mission Impossible task and they were still reeling from the fact that they had managed to pull it off.

"But, you both swore us to secrecy and threatened to kill us if we revealed how you felt, so we just saved it for an emergency..." Charlotte trailed off, having said everything that made up their devious plan and Ray and (y/n) nodded with smiles on their faces.

"We're very grateful but, I have one question." (y/n) said, a small, puzzled frown on her face. It wasn't a big thing, but she'd never live it down if she didn't find an answer.

"Sure, what is it?" Henry asked, curious as to what she wanted to know.

"Why did you call it Project Lobster?" The young woman asked and everyone nodded at her question. It was a weird name.

"Yeah, why didn't you call it Project Get (y/n) and Ray Get Together?" Jasper suggested, even though the name was far too long and complicated for a top-secret mission.

"Because he's her lobster!" Charlotte exclaimed and everyone laughed at their silliness. It was true, he was her lobster and she was his. Cute.

"Well, I'm glad that I don't have to watch you two be all pouty anymore." Schwoz rolled his eyes and high-fived Jasper. He'd worked for Captain Man for two weeks and he was sick of it too.

"Yeah, it's over." (y/n) smiled up at Ray and he smiled down at her in return. No more secrets, no more hiding, just their love for each other. Only, it wasn't quite over just yet.

"Um, Ray, this is the part where you put us out of our misery and kiss her." Henry hissed in his boss's ear and the man blushed at the four smirks being sent his way. Oh yeah, he forgot about that part. Ray looked at (y/n), who had pink dusted all over her cheeks, but there wasn't a sign of disgust or rejection on her features, just happiness and love.

"Can I?" He breathed out, wanting to make sure that she was okay with this even though she was already on her tiptoes and leaning in.

"Of course." She told him and her eyes flickered closed as their lips met. 

It was different to their first one, it wasn't about boundaries or trying to keep themselves under control, it was just them and they were free to show their love. Her hands tangled in his hair as he cupped her face to tilt her jaw open. Free to explore, Ray ran his tongue across her bottom lip and at last, he truly knew that she tasted like honey, just like he'd guessed. Before, he'd barely gotten a chance to confirm it or not and it had been so many months, the sweet taste had almost left his mind. Now, he'd never forget again. 

His lips were still perfectly soft, just like she remembered and they made a shiver go down her spine as he went further than they did last time. Mint and bubble gum burst into her mouth for the second time in her life and she practically purred in pleasure, willing to him all of her and more.

Sadly though, the burning of their lungs said otherwise and that pesky instinct that told them they needed to breathe forced them apart. Reluctantly, Ray retreated from the kiss and pulled back to rest his forehead against hers as they panted.

"Wow," he chuckled breathlessly as he thought of what to say. Henry, Jasper, Schwoz and Charlotte had seen enough of the kiss to realise that they needed some privacy now and they all tiptoed away whilst they were still wrapped up in each other. Not that they minded, they didn't need anyone else anymore.

"I know." She giggled back, feeling drunk from the lack of oxygen and all the love lifting her heart.

"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He confessed, stroking his thumbs over her cheekbones and down to her lips. So soft, he just wanted to have her again and again and he knew he'd never get tired.

"Well, I've wanted to kiss you again since last Christmas." She told him, trailing a hand down his chest, igniting his skin through his shirt as she felt his muscles. God, he had been pining just as much as her and he felt so stupid as he realised that every time he'd wanted to tell her everything, she would've accepted him with open arms, not rejected him like he'd feared.

"I love you so much." He told her again, wishing that he had said it sooner since they could have been so happy already if he had. Still, he now had the rest of his life to make up for it and he promised himself that he'd tell her every day. He had always told himself that she deserved the perfect guy, who would treat her like a queen and now, that was him.

"I love you too. With all of my heart." She mumbled and brushed her lips against his in a gentle kiss. It was meant to tease him, meaning she giggled when he tried to chase her touch as she pulled away. 

"Tease." He murmured in her ear as she smiled, although she was soon whimpering when he trailed his hot lips down the side of her throat and his hands ran down her curves to her hips. Five years of unspoken desire was surging to the surface, leaving them at the mercy of their lust. Now, she was actually glad that she was wearing such thin pyjamas. They allowed him to dip under her flimsy tank top and feel the soft skin of her stomach. God, she was burning up from the inside, out.

"Only for you, boyfriend." She teased further and bit her lip when she felt his hold on her tighten. A label, finally, something that could sum up what they had with two simple names. 

"My girlfriend, mine," Ray whispered into the spot just under her ear and knew that it was the thing he'd wanted to hear all his life.

Boyfriend and girlfriend. That would suit them just fine.

#henry danger #miles macklin #chapa de silva #nickelodeon #x reader #danger force #captain man x reader #fanfiction #danger force season 3 #dangerverse #henry danger smut #kid danger #ray manchester smut #ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #readerxcharacter #reader insert #end of slowburn #confessions #love confessions #female reader #reader fic #self insert #first kiss #new relationship #angst with a happy ending #light angst #angst #heartbreak #heartache

[hayleythesugarbowl]

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

looking for a specific fandom? i present, my specific masterlists…

╰┈➤ {smosh • friends • thomas barrow • ray manchester }

➳ requests are closed

➳ some facts about me! my name is hayley and im just a silly little fangirl who loves reading, writing, drinking tea, feeling nostalgic, and obsessing over + living vicariously through fictional characters 🎀

➳ my goal on this blog is to write for everyone i can especially less popular characters because i know the feeling of looking up a fic and finding it doesn’t exist and i feel like i owe it to my twelve y/o (and current!!) obsessive self to fill the void

➳ find the list of fandoms i write for at the bottom of this post. i don’t write smut. all of my fics are x fem!reader unless specified otherwise

➳ feel free to ask anything and i hope you have a lovely day/night ✨🍓🩰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fluff: ♡ angst: ✧ requested: ☽

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ oneshots ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

ray manchester…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Stuck || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽

word count: 3.5k warnings: none summary: you, an aspiring-fashion-designer, get trapped in an elevator with captain man on your way to a job interview

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Secret Identity || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 3.8k warnings: i think i cursed once summary: you and ray have been dating in secret, due to your shyness and secret identity, but when there’s a change in your relationship, it may be time to let everyone know

ˋ°•*⁀➷ My Valentine || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 3.8k warnings: none summary: when you start working at junk n’ stuff, ray is immediately attracted to you and wants to do something special for you on valentine’s day

monica geller…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ The One With Phoebe’s Sister || Monica Geller x Phoebe Buffay’s younger sister!reader • ☽

word count: 3.1k warnings: none summary: phoebe introduces the friends to you, her younger sister, you are instantly attracted to monica but don’t know that monica is equally smitten with you

joey tribbiani…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ The One With the Baby Girl || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 1k warnings: childbirth summary: joey helps you through the birth of your daughter

ˋ°•*⁀➷ The One With The Pie || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ✧☽

word count: 6.6k warnings: some references summary: after your crush on joey ends before it can begin, you start to move on. but maybe, just maybe, the story of you and joey isn’t over just yet

ˋ°•*⁀➷ The One With the Ex || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.2k warnings: presumed cheating, drinking, suggestive material  summary: after joey cheats on you and breaks your heart in high school, you run into him again years later and find out the past might not be exactly what you thought it was

remus lupin…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ In This Together || Remus Lupin x reader • ♡✧

word count: 2.1k warnings: none summary: when remus resigns from the position of dada teacher and leaves hogwarts, he decides it’s finally time to tell you the truth about himself and his ‘furry little problem’

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Stolen Glances || Remus Lupin x student!reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.1k warnings: age gap but it’s legal summary: remus finds himself drawn to you against his better judgement even though you are one of his students

ian hecox…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ First Fake Date || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2.5k warnings: none summary: Ian finds out his ex-girlfriend is going to be at an upcoming event and when you volunteer to go as his fake-date things don’t go quite as either of you planned

ˋ°•*⁀➷ More Than Friends || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 3.5k warnings: mild cursing summary: you have been ignoring your growing feelings for your best friend ian, but when you are chosen to do a romantic scene together will those feelings stay hidden?

angela giarratana…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Misread Signs || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 2.2k warnings: none summary: when you start to become really close with courtney, angela takes this as a sign that you aren’t interested in her, until unusual circumstances cause you both to realize each other’s feelings

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Love Hurts || Angela Giarratana x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.9k warnings: angst summary: you have been in love with angela for months and upon finding out that she is dating someone else, heartbroken you start to distance yourself from her and everything else in your life

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Jealousy, jealousy || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 1.3k warnings: hickeys summary: angela finds herself jealous when another member of the cast flirts with you and she decides to let you know that you’re hers

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Sleepyhead || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.9k warnings: none summary: a sleepy angela wakes up with you and refuses to let you get out of bed

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Second Chances || Angela Giarratana x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.3k warnings: none summary: when the smosh cast goes on a company retreat and you and angela are forced to share a hotel room you have the opportunity to rekindle an old romance

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Sweeter than Pie || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: none summary: when you’re tired from work , angela cooks with you

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Princess || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 2k warnings: sick fic summary: when you start to feel sick during a game night with angela, you let her take care of you for once and she gets to see a different side of you

courtney miller…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Kiss the Nurse || Courtney Miller x sick!reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.6k warnings: sick fic summary: courtney takes care of you when you’re sick and is rewarded with a kiss from their patient

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Stay With Me || sick!Courtney Miller x reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.7k warnings: sick fic, mild swearing summary: when courtney calls and cancels your date night due to a stomach bug, you don’t hesitate to drop everything and take care of them

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Only You || Courtney Miller x reader • ✧☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: none summary: when you begin to get jealous of courtney and shayne’s relationship, courtney assures you that you’re the one they love

shayne topp…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Worth the Wait || Shayne Topp x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: mild swearing summary: shayne is determined to find out what your Halloween costume is this year but you won’t tell him, and when the holiday is finally here he finds it very much worth the wait

julio rodríguez…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Luckiest Man || Julio Rodríguez x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: none summary: julio has just won the world series and been named mvp and yet his biggest prize is you, his new fiancée

thomas barrow…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Even || Thomas Barrow & reader • ☽

word count: 3.4k warnings: cursing, homophobia because it’s jimmy summary: when you, a ladies maid who thomas has never got along with in the past, catch thomas making a move on jimmy you’re forced to decide wether or not to help him out

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ series ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

thomas barrow…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ It’s Nice to Have a Friend || Thomas Barrow & friend!reader • ✧♡☽ (finished)

╰┈➤ { Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 }

word count: 4.8k warnings: some mild swearing summary: when you start working at downton abbey as a new maid, thomas takes a liking to you and an unexpected relationship forms between you

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ other writing ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ You Can’t Change the Past || an Elena of Avalor inspired short story

word count: 6k warnings: i was a child when i wrote this 🤭 summary: jacques, chancellor of emelda, plagued by regrets, is used to helping his cousin run her kingdom. but when he meets some ghosts of his past and a villain returns is he ready to face it all?

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ headcanons ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

dating…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ James McAvoy ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Carswell Thorne ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Austin Butler ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Smosh-

Shayne Topp ♡☽

Damien Haas ♡

Ian Hecox (part 1) ♡☽

Ian Hecox (part 2) ♡☽

Spencer Agnew ♡☽

Anthony Padilla ♡☽

Angela Giarratana ♡☽

Amanda Lehan-Canto ♡☽

Smosh Women ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Joey Tribbiani ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Chandler Bing ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Jacques Snicket ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Jack Edwards-

part 1 ♡

part 2 ♡☽

part 3 ♡☽

part 4 ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Megara ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Elvis Presley ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Simon Cowell ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Chancellor Esteban Flores ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Jarred Kelenic ♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Seattle Mariners (Jarred Kelenic part 2, George Kirby, Julio Rodríguez) ♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Ray Manchester/Captain Man-

ray manchester x reader ♡

ray manchester x smart!reader ♡☽

friends + family…

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Thomas Barrow-

thomas barrow & friend!reader ♡✧

thomas barrow & teen!sister!reader ✧♡☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Will Truman ♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ fandoms i write for ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Downton Abbey

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Harry Potter

ˋ°•*⁀➷ A Series of Unfortunate Events

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Smosh

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Hercules (1997)

ˋ°•*⁀➷ The Lunar Chronicles

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Elena of Avalor

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Friends

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Will and Grace

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Elvis Presley + Elvis (2022)

ˋ°•*⁀➷ Seattle Mariners

ˋ°•*⁀➷ and probably others i’m forgetting so shoot me an ask <3🍒💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

last updated: 4/29/24

╰┈➤ romanticize, fantasize, nostalgize ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🩰

#masterlist #fanfiction #reader insert #headcanons #oneshot #captain man x reader #ray manchester x reader #megara x reader #jack edwards x reader #jacques snicket x reader #shayne topp x reader #thomas barrow x reader #joey tribbiani x reader #chancellor esteban flores x reader #elvis presley x reader #simon cowell x reader #monica geller x reader #will truman x reader #remus lupin x reader #austin butler x reader #carswell thorne x reader #damien haas x reader #ian hecox x reader #spencer agnew x reader #courtney miller x reader #amanda lehan canto x reader #angela giarratana x reader #anthony padilla x reader #james mcavoy x reader #julio rodríguez x reader

[louscartridge]

HENRY DANGER MASTERLIST

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.

 i try to make every fic of mine so everyone can read then despite their gender, race, and sexuality unless stated otherwise.

tw i will be writing about triggering topics such as eds, sh, and just angst in genral as they are rly big comfort fics for some people. these fics will be marked with ♡

smut will always be afab and will have its own separate masterlist.

danger force masterlist here

henry hart

piper hart

charlotte page

jasper dunlop

ray manchester (platonic only)

#x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #x you #smut #x yn #fluff #angst #henry hart #henry hart x reader #henry danger x reader #requests #requests are open

[searxws]

╰┈➤ HOME

the place where you can find all abt me!

OTHER SOCIALS

tiktok wattpad twitter carrd

🌎

REQUEST GUIDELINES

REQUESTS ARE : CLOSED

if you would like to send in a request, please go to the requests/questions box and type the fandom, character pairing, and reader gender. please also send a basic summary of the story you want to read!

please also keep in mind that i am only ONE person! i edit and write and think up all my stories by myself, which means if you send me a request it may take me a couple days! so please remain patient.

🌎

FANDOMS/CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR

!- stranger things, all seasons;

eddie munson

steve harrington

robin buckley (female oc / reader only.)

nancy wheeler

001/henry creel/peter ballard (NO VECNA💀)

billy hargrove

jason carver

max mayfield

lucas sinclair

will byers (male oc / reader only.)

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- harry potter, all movies;

hermione granger

cedric diggory

fred weasley

george weasley

sirius black (marauders era)

remus lupin (marauders and golden trio era)

james potter (marauders era)

lily evans potter (marauders era)

regulus black (marauders era)

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- top gun: maverick;

bradley 'rooster' bradshaw

natasha 'phoenix' trace

jake 'hangman' seresin

robert 'bob' floyd

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- marvel cinematic universe;

wanda maximoff / scarlet witch

bucky barnes / winter soldier (yes i WILL write for ws)

steve rogers / captain america

natasha romanoff / black widow

pietro maximoff / quicksilver

peter parker (andrew and tom!) / spiderman

sam wilson / the falcon

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- obx, all seasons;

rafe cameron

jj maybank

pope heyward

kiara carrera

sarah cameron

(will not be writing for john b i hate that mf)

!- glee, all seasons;

sebastian smythe

ryder lynn

finn hudson

santana lopez

brittany peirce

rachel berry

quinn fabray

tina cohen chang

mercedes jones

marley rose

jessie st james

mike chang

!- henry danger, all seasons;

henry hart (kid danger)

ray manchester (captain man)

!- celebs/ real world;

maya hawke

sebastian stan

chris evans

lewis pullman

mason dye

sadie sink

glen powell

tom holland

andrew garfield

taylor swift

ben barnes

grant gustin

diana agron

🌎

CATEGORY'S I WRITE IN

blurb

headcannon

full length

angst

fluff

songfics

the occasional smut.

🌎

THINGS I LOVE

phoebe bridgers

taylor swift

grant gustin

cory monteith

glee

the 1975 / matty healy

reading

writing

coffee

cats

history

pinterest

concerts

sabrina carpenter

mason dye

🌎

FAV ALBUMS/FAVSONG ON THE ALBUM

emails i cant send (sabrina carpenter) - fast times

i cant let go (suki waterhouse) - devil i know

stranger in the alps (phoebe bridgers) - demi moore

midnights (taylor swift) - lavender haze

punisher (phoebe bridgers) - moon song

bfiafl (the 1975) - im in love with you

🌎

SYMBOLS/EMOJIS

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ // ʚɞ // ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ // ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ // ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. // ╰┈➤ // ʚїɞ // ⩩

:*˚:✧｡ // ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ // *ೃ༄ // ୨୧ // ࿐*⁀➷ // ↬ੈ // ✩‧₊˚ // ଓ

✩•̩̩͙*ೃ // * ੈ✩‧₊˚ // ★ 彡 // 📍 // 🦢 // 🌬 // 🥥 // ☕️ // 🎧 // 🌎 // ༺.* // ↯ // ✩ // ✔︎ // ✉︎

🌎

all of my work is my own, if you see it published on a site other than tumblr under MY username and a message permitting the user the repost please report it and inform me. (reblogs are welcome and do not count as reposts)

business inquiries only! business inquiries include reposting permission , translation requests, questions, comments, concerns, and copyright matters

[email protected]

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

[s1mpforeveryone]

HEYYY GUESS WHAT I NEED GUYS! I NEED SOME SMUT! SOME RAY MANCHESTER/CAPTAIN MAN DADDY KINK SMUT 😳😳😳😳 ANYWAY IM GONNA GO PRETEND I AINT POST THIS

#henry danger #captain man

[metricanxiety]

this place is home to us

Genre: smut. don’t be mad.

Pairing: phan. dan and phil. phil and dan. who else?

AU: Punk x Punk because I don’t see this enough

Warning: Swearing, sex, the usual. Top!phil bottom!dan

Author’s Note: send me asks/requests!!! I will write them!!!!! I need prompts!!!! also keep this out of the main dnp tags pls ty

Phil dangled his feet off the platform of the train, swinging them with the wind that travelled through the cars. He picked and bit at the skin around his nails. The bite of the February air stung his nose, making his already pale skin turn red. He could hear the train tilting, with the metals shifting against each other. Phil had nothing to worry about, though. These trains, this station, hadn’t been in service since 1978. These trains weren’t going anywhere.

Which is why so many young artists have chosen this location as their graffiti area. The orange color of the trains were barely visible, covered by the paint creating murals of masterpieces that the almost the entire public population of Manchester would never see.

Phil contributed to the plethora of pieces as well. Starting at fifteen, he’d sneak out at two in the morning and take the tube to the closest station to his favorite location in town. His safe place.

Not that the comfort of his own home wasn’t safe to him, the sweet scent of cinnamon and freshly baked bread was more than safe. His parents never rejected him of who Phil was, their son who’s only artwork that didn’t end up on a wall ended up on his permanently carved into his skin with ink, turning his body into his canvas. The art covering his body was his own, his favorite pieces, and his parents loved the meaning behind the symbolism too much for them to say no to Phil’s first attempt to get his first tattoo at sixteen. Which was, obviously, a quote from his favorite song by muse.

But no, the reason the abandoned station was Phil’s safe place, was because that’s where Dan was. At least, that’s where they always met.

Dan, Phil’s beautiful Dan. He knew Dan hated it when Phil called him beautiful, because his exterior was just as vicious and intimidating as Phil’s. Except, his fringe went to the left where Phil’s went to the right. Dan also had red dip dyed tips, with a tongue piercing. Dan was so fucking hot.

Phil loved kissing Dan and hearing their lip piercings clang against the other, tearing off his leather jacket just to reveal Dan’s black ink covering the length of his arms, going onto his hands. Phil was completely and utterly in love with Dan Howell. His only weakness.

Which is why he was sitting in the freezing fucking cold at the station instead of being in the warmth of his home, under his duvet with a mug of hot chocolate and Dan tucked into his side. Despite his scary exterior, Dan was quite the softy. He was the sweetest guy Phil had ever met, he had so much love, and passion, for everything he did. And god, was he so fucking talented.

Yeah, they met at the station. Phil was there last August, reading and doing his English homework, when He spotted Dan set his backpack down at he train ahead of him, and started painting. Spray painting. And the piece Dan made, well, let’s just say Phil had reserved a spot on his body that he wanted to ink it on.

Phil could see the ink on Dans shoulders, and his arms, because since that day was particularly hot, he could feel the sex radiating off his skin, and all he wanted to do was sink his teeth into his skin. Come to find out (about three weeks later) to make things even more perfect, Dan was a desperate bottom. What did Phil do to be blessed with this ray of perfection?

But Phil was totally pissed at Dan, because he said he’d be here at ten pm Sharp, and it was definitely ten fucking eleven at night. He was eleven minutes late, and Phil was freezing. Sitting in a giant metal box in minus I-don’t-fucking-know weather was infuriating. He tucked his leather jacket closer to his body, wishing he didn’t wear his ripped jeans, only wanting to have his old, baggy sweat pants on.

Phil could hear swearing, and coughing, along with the crunch of the gravel as somebody walked closer to him, obviously it being the person he was waiting for. He sat up, bending his legs slightly, leaning on his elbows on his knees, looking like he was in a more relaxed position, watching Dan jump up into the car of the train, with, as it looks, three blankets thrown over his arm, a beanie covering his scalp. His fringe was slightly curly due to the moisture in the air. And Phil couldn’t stay mad at him. But he wasn’t going to let Dan believe that.

“Fuck, oh my god, I’m so fucking sorry I know you hate it when I’m late, but I forgot the blankets so I had to literally run back to the house and grab them from my bed, and I barely made it on the next ride over from the tube.” Dan dropped the blankets, kneeling down and kissing Phil’s temple. Phil smirked up at him, raising his eyebrows. “Aw, c'mon don’t be like that,” Dan paused, seeing Phil stay with the same ‘disappointed’ look in his face. He rolled his eyes, flopping next to Phil and wrapping his arms around the older’s torso, nuzzling his face into his shoulder. “Your bitchy attitude is actually the reason it’s so fucking cold, I guess.”

“Not my fault you can’t keep time.” Phil chuckled, draping an arm around Dan. Like he said, he can’t stay mad at Dan. He loved him, after all.

“Oh hop off it.” Dan groaned, crawling over to the blankets. “You can freeze if you don’t forgive me, bitch.” He wrapped all the blankets around himself, falling over to his side, laughing at himself. Phil chuckled as he watched Dan roll around on the train car floor.

“What did you smoke before you came here?” Phil joked, crawling over, pinning Dan to stay still. He unwrapped the blankets from Dan, taking the thinnest one and spreading it down onto the wood planks. So they had something to sit on, you know, just in case.

“Nothing. You know my hookup got arrested.” Dan laughed, shrugging off his jacket, and throwing it near Phil’s bag. He was wearing his Ramones vest, that was old, the armpits of the shirt were stretched super low, and Phil’s breath caught in his throat, seeing the patches of skin under the grey fabric, Dan knew what he was doing. Dan wore that on purpose.

“Oh yeah, because he was the only plug you had in your contacts,” Phil rolled his eyes, scooting back against the crates that have been left in this car for god knows how long. Dan giggled, kissing Phil’s nose. He grabbed one of the blankets, draping it over the two of them as he flopped into Phil’s lap.

It made Phil laugh, actually, how scary and violent Dan looked, having all the tattoos and piercings, you wouldn’t expect him to be cuddling into someone else, rather somebody submitting to him. But this was how Phil liked it.

Phil traced the black and white roses Dan had tattooed on his shoulders, peeking up onto his neck and back. Anytime Phil went higher than shoulder length with his fingers, he felt Dan shiver, and he switched positions, trying to make it harder for Phil to touch his neck.

“Phil stop!” Dan yelled, he was fully laying across Phil’s lap, his knees digging into Dan’s back, his head thrown back, laughing.“

“It’s what you fucking get for being late, again!” Phil was fully laughing with Dan, leaning down and kissing him on the lips. But it wasn’t really a kiss, because they didn’t stop their fit of laughter as their lips brushed.

Dan sat up, having his legs thrown to the other side of Phil, like bridal style, kind of, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck. One of his hands brushed Phil’s dark blue fringe out of his face, having a dark look on his face. “Maybe I can make it up to you, then.” Dan gave an evil grin, making Phil quirk his eyebrow bar. “Would you like that?” Dan pressed his lips to Phil’s jaw, and the cool metal of his lip ring made goose flesh spread across Phil’s skin.

Phil sighed, letting his eyes flutter shut. His hand ran up and Down Dans back, feeling how cold he actually was, but Dan wasn’t doing anything about it. The only thing that provided a sense of warmth was the blanket on their legs, which wasn’t doing much by this point. “Here?” Phil panted. He could feel the smirk against his neck.

“Why not? It’s not like anyone else is here. It’s dark out, and I love you. And now, apparently I owe you. What other reasons do we need?” Dan kissed his way all the way to peck Phil’s lips once, before waiting an answer.

“Condom? Lube?”

“Got some in my jacket pocket. What else?” Dan was such a fucking tease before they had sex, but the second Phil took authority, he shut his mouth. He was very quiet during, well, you know. Intimate moments.

“I don’t know, how about some fucking warmth? Babe c'mon, we would literally freeze our balls off, it won’t be a fun experience.” Phil tried to sound light hearted, but Dan was being insistent.

“We have blankets for a reason, and we’re going to warm up anyway. It gets hot. We of all people know that.” Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. How could Phil resist.

Phil chuckled, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was about to have sex with Dan outside, in the middle of winter, on a fucking train. At least it was out of service.

“C'mon, please bubs?” Dan said, and Phil knew he was fucked the second he used that nickname.

Dan and Phil don’t even know how the nick name ‘bubs’ came about for them. Maybe it was short for ‘bubba’, or maybe it was a nickname of its own. They started calling each other it around September, and it just became a thing. But they rarely used it out loud, usually only over text. And Phil loved it when Dan called him bubs. He doesn’t know why, but it always just made everything seem more intimate, I guess. If a nickname could even do that.

Phil exhaled through his mouth slowly, his nose ticketing Dan’s hair, making it known that he was teasing Dan’s neck on purpose. He had a sensitive neck, sue Phil for taking advantage of that. He loved kissing Dan’s neck.

Dan let out a sound that was barely a whimper, no louder than a whisper, and Phil would have missed it if the wind had picked up in that moment. He reached up and pulled the beanie off his own head, tossing it aside. Phil tried to run his hands up and down Dan’s arms, to try and warm him up. They had barely started and Dan was already freezing.

“Are you cold already?” Phil asked, his tone gentle, and caring. Dan clung to him like cellophane, absorbing any type of heat Phil was giving off, which wasn’t much.

“I’m okay. I have a plan, kind of.” Dan’s teeth were chattering, and if you looked closely enough, his metal piercings could have been fogging up in the chill. “Can I, um, can I ride you?” Dan asked through waves of shivers. Phil nodded into Dan’s neck, making sure he felt the approval.

He pushed himself away from Phil, reaching for the button and zip of his skinny jeans, and undoing them as fast as the cold would let him. Phil took the opportunity to take off his jacket, and tug his shirt over his head. If Dan was going to be freezing, he may as well do the same. Phil reached for the other blanket, dealing it over his own shoulders or a layer of warmth, making sure the other one was close to Dan’s reach.

Phil pulled Dan close to him, kissing him with passion. They didn’t kiss like this often, where their tongue’s fought over each other, with their piercings almost getting in the way, but it was Dan’s favorite. Kissing Phil was amazing no matter what, but you could practically feel the electricity flowing between them when they kissed like this.

But they didn’t have the patience, or warmth, to take things slow. Dan repositioned himself so he was straddling Phil’s legs, their crotches right next to each other. Their lips reconnected, and Phil was holding Dan so close, he didn’t think there was any space separating their torsos. Since Dan was on top, he took the initiative, and began grinding his hips into Phil’s.

Phil let out a shaky breath, moving his hands to Dan’s hips to help him move better. He could feel Dan hardening against him, which only turned Phil on even more.

“Dan~” Phil sighed, bringing his lips to Dan’s neck, leaving sloppy, open mouthed kissed anywhere he could reach. Dan laid his forehead on Phil’s shoulder, giving Phil a better angle.

Phil never really left hickeys. The ink covering Dan’s neck would leave them barely noticeable, so he didn’t find a point in leaving them on his neck. He usually tried to leave them on his thighs, or abdomen, but tonight he didn’t really have the patience to do so.

Dan pulled back, bringing his hands to his shoulder blades, balling up the material of his shirt before yanking it over his head. Phil could see the bulge in Dan’s boxers, which made him want to move things along further, instead of just sloppy kissing and grinding.

He motioned for Dan to take off his boxers, and grab the proper supplies they needed, while he peeled off his skinny jeans, and underwear. The chill hit Phil quick, and it took all his power to not curl up into a ball under a blanket, and just forget about having sex. But Dan was fast enough that he didn’t have to do that.

Dan sat in the same place before, sitting on Phil’s lap, but this time the skin-to-skin contact made them hiss. This was always the best part, for Dan. Because even though nothing was happening, this was the build up. This was the start.

Dan remembered the first time they had sex, and he felt slightly like a slut for giving in so quickly. It was only three weeks after they had met, so they still didn’t really know each other. But Phil invited him over, and then Phil ended up kissing Dan on a whim, and that lead to well, everything else. But Dan doesn’t regret it. It was the start of their relationship, and he doesn’t know where he’d be, who he’d be, without Phil.

Phil leaned over and grabbed the third blanket, draping it over Dan’s shoulders so he wasn’t just out in the open frosty air. “You okay?” He asked Dan, kissing his collar bones.

“Mhm. Love you.” Dan exhaled, bringing the blanket around Phil (keeping it around his own shoulders so he didn’t freeze), holding it crossed at Phil’s back, making a little bubble for them.

Phil smiled, pecking Dan’s lips, whispering a 'love you more’ as he tapped Dan’s waist to get him to lift his hips up.

Phil grabbed the small bottle that was placed next to his thigh, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. Dan braced himself as Phil circled his rim, pushing his pointer finger in slowly. He gasped slightly at the intrusion, but quickly relaxed, making it easier for Phil to slip in a second finger, and begin scissoring.

Dan whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. His fingers duh into Phil’s shoulder blades, and probably would have left a mark if his tattoos didn’t completely cover the area. Phil kissed Dan’s chest, trying to help him relax, and the cool of the snakebites soothed Dan slightly.

"Do you need me to slow down?” Phil asked, pumping his fingers in and out, eventually bringing his other hand to Dan’s hard on, stroking it to distract him.

No, I, jus-“ Dan stuttered, he took a deep breath, starting over. "No. I’m okay. Keep going.”

Phil chuckled at how different Dan was during their intimate times, he was usually really loud and obnoxious, but the second their clothes were taken off, he could barely utter a word, only moving if Phil asked him to, or if he needed to reposition. It was quite adorable, actually, it only made Phil’s heart warm.

He added a third finger slowly, after a few minutes of having two, so the stretch was barely there, but still needed. Phil never wanted to cause any extra pain on Dan, because he knew it was painful enough bottoming.

Dan started nodding, lifting his hips more to pull Phil’s fingers out. Phil reached for the packet next to him, ripping it in half, and pulling out the condom.

Dan took it from Phil’s hands, silently insisting that he’s put it on for Phil, which he did. The small touches on his cock made Phil shiver, but not as much as when Dan poured lube into the tip, and started spreading with his hands, giving Phil a mini hand-job.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked, rubbing circles into Dan’s side with his fingers. Dan nodded, taking Phil into his hands, and lining it up with his entrance. He began sinking onto Phil, hissing when the tip was fully inside him.

Phil used all his power not to buck up into Dan, and possibly hurt him. Dan’s eyes were already squeezed shut, trying to take the pain as much as he could.

“Fuck-” Dan let out, bringing his hand back to the other holding the blanket in place. He let his head fall to the crook of Phil’s neck, panting. Phil kept making circles with the pads of his fingers into Dan’s side, trying to have him focus on that, and not the pain of the stretch Phil’s dick was causing. The cold wasn’t helping either.

Dan had taken a good two minutes to bottom out, and even then, he needed to get used to the full length of Phil. So they sat there, both panting from the pain, and pleasure, until Dan started moving his hips, slowly at first. He lifted his head up, pressing their foreheads together, before picking up the pace.

Dan moved his hips back and forth, gasping anytime he changed the direction. Phil kept letting profanities slip, because he fucking forgot how good, and how much he loved, Dan on top.

Dan gripped both sides of the blanket, bringing the other one to Phil’s knee, so he could lean back, get a different angle when he bottomed out again. Phil let out a groan, and Dan threw his head back in pleasure.

“Phil-” he exhaled. “Oh my fucking- fuck.” Phil assumed he found the right angle to be hitting his prostate, and he probably wouldn’t be changing angles any time soon.

Phil leaned over and started placing kisses all along Dan’s torso, bringing one of his hands between them so he could start pumping Dan’s cock along with his own movements. The friction made Dan shriek.

“Dan, oh my god,” Phil let out, which encouraged Dan to go faster, until tears pricked at his eyes. It was so good, and Dan didn’t think he’d felt this way before. But he was getting slightly worn out, from moving so much, he began slowing down.

So Phil started thrusting his hips, noticing Dan’s fatigue. Dan had sat back up, having both arms around Phil’s neck. Dan pressed their lips together, messily making out with Phil as he fucked up into Dan, both chasing their orgasms quickly, but not surely to finish them both off.

Dan was really confused when Phil stopped moving, and was lifting Dan off his cock, making him whimper.

“W- what are you doing?” Dan asked, trying to stay clung to Phil. He was always really needy during sex.

Phil ignored the question, ripping the blanket that was around them and tossing it to the side. The cold his them like a bus, and Dan hissed, hugging Phil as close as possible, his heels digging into the small of the older’s back.

Phil flipped them over, now laying between Dan’s legs. Phil sat back on his heels, Dans legs still wrapped around him, bringing a blanket over his shoulders, which was big enough to cover both of their bodies when he laid back down. He held up his weight by his forearms bracketing Dan’s head, leaning down and kissing Dan.

“Warm?” Phil chuckled, Dan nodded his head minimally, smiling. Phil helped himself find Dan’s hole, and pushed back in, slowly, but not too slow that they were both waiting forever for things to pick back up. Dan let out a noise similar to a moan, but it being quiet enough for it not to be.

Phil started picking up the pace, thrusting his cock in and out, both of them panting, and moaning, but still staying quiet, just in case.

Dan reached between their bodies, and began to stroke himself, the other arm hooked around Phil’s neck, pulling his head down to kiss him. Well, 'kiss’ him. They were breathing so heavily that they had to settle for breathing each other’s air, making their lips brush together.

“Phil, I’m, c- Phil,” Dan tried to form coherent sentences, but he couldn’t when Phil was hitting his prostate dead on, with his thumb running over his slit, he thought his eyes would roll to the back of his head with all the stipulation he was receiving. Phil knew what he was trying to say, and kept going, but harder.

Dan let both of his arms fall, bringing them away from Phil and his cock, and letting them lay above his head. He was caught in such pure bliss that he couldn’t bring himself to do anything else but let Phil finish them off. He blinked back tears, and as Phil his his prostate again, but even harder than the time before, he felt his gut knot up, making Dan jerk his body up and hug Phil as he came, coating both their bodies in ribbons of white. Dan cried out, as Phil finished himself after three more thrusts.

They collapsed, falling over after Phil pulled out. They didn’t push each other away, however, Dan was too fucking needy to do that. He curled into Phil’s side, breathing in his musk, kissing Phil’s chest. Phil ran his fingers through Dan’s hair as he caught his breath.

Dan, unfortunately, didn’t bring any tissues, or napkins, or anything to clean themselves up with, so they used Dan’s beanie to wipe off, he would just wash it in his next load of laundry.

When they had finally calmed themselves down, they both got up to quickly dress again, and would probably start heading home soon, much to their dismay.

“Will you just come over?” Phil asked, zipping up his jeans, and running a hand through his messy hair.

“I have work at nine tomorrow.” Dan pouted. It’s not like he didn’t want to go over to Phil’s, but he had responsibilities that he had to take care of.

“You’ll be out before then, it will be fine,” Phil persuaded. “I’ll set an alarm so you have enough time to run home.”

Dan smiled, nodding his head as he slipped his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket. “Fine.”

“Oh don’t sound so disappointed, shit head.” Phil laughed, smacking Dan lightly. Phil threw his bag over his shoulder, hopping off the platform of the train car. Dan followed quickly after, leaving the blankets inside. Phil started pulling the metal slide, closing the train car. They always kept stuff in their, whether it be blankets, a change of clothes, or their paint bags. They had figured out how to open and close those things a while ago, so it was safe to do it.

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand, walking next to him as they left the station, and headed for the nearest tube entrance. It was almost midnight, so they didn’t have to deal with anybody staring as they made out the entire ride to Phil’s.

But Phil had decided one thing that night, it wasn’t the fact that the station was his safe place, it was Dan that made him feel thy way. Dan was his home, his comfort. Dan, who he couldn’t imagine his life without.

A/N like i said, send me requests, i will write them, PLEASE. also i wrote most of this on my phone so im sorry if there are a few errors, i will try to edit it later but im too lazy to do it now oops

#phanfiction #phan fluff #phan smut #faniction #dan and phil fanfiction #phan smut oneshot #smut oneshot #phan oneshot #metricanxietyfics

[yeoldontknow]

As Still As Sound: Prologue

Author’s Note: i really didn’t think i’d start another series so soon, really i didn’t. but this came to me one night, and i feel like i’m going to scream if i don’t write it. this story is basically a love note from me to a lot of different things; some of it is personal, some of it is fictional, a lot of it is me doing something i never do and writing real, true love story. i hope you enjoy this prologue!

Summary: Two years after soulmate bonds are formed in our universe, and still the world is reeling from the connections. Everyone seems to be affected, except you. You seem to think you’ve been left out and forgotten, though you don’t really want a soulmate at all. All you really want is to be alone with your music…

O/C’s Spotify song this chapter: Blow - Ghinzu (music for each chapter will be the song the reader/oc/you is listening to)

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)

Genre: Soulmate!AU; fluff; angst; drama; sci-fi; eventual smut

Rating (this chapter): PG

Warnings (this chapter): references to threats of self-harm

Word Count: 5,024

METRO UK      APRIL 8, 2013

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! FIRST UK SOULMATE PAIR DISCOVERED: TWO YEARS ON 

Anita and Wesley Goulding made history on this day in 2011 as the first couple in the UK to find their soulmate after the Era Shift. They’ve sat down with us today to discuss how they met, the struggles they endured in the early days of finding one another, and why they think the new soulmate process is a double edged sword.

Q: Congratulations on two years!

Anita: Thank you! It really doesn’t feel like it. I wake up every morning and see him, and I somehow fall more in love with him.

Wesley: I honestly don’t know what I was doing in my life before I met her. It’s been the most magical two years.

Q: Finding your soulmate is different for everyone. Tell us what happened to you both, as the first.

A: Well, I don’t think we were technically the first [laughs], but I think we were the first to find each other and document it in some way, or at least reach out on a national level to alert people that this was happening? But, for me, I woke up one morning knowing I wasn’t alone in my mind. I know that sounds terrifying or awful, but it actually felt comforting. I could feel him there, sort of at the side, all day until I was able to hear his thoughts.

W: Yes, I woke up that day feeling like I was warm. Warm sounds like a silly way to describe it, but I could feel her presence and it just made me feel good, like down to the core.

A: I think we went about two days before we could talk to one another. It was a constant inner monologue. I wanted to tell him everything the second I heard his voice.

Q: How did you end up meeting or finding each other?

A: We were quite lucky that we only lived about an hour away from each other. We suggested meeting in Bristol for the day because it meant we’d have things to do, and we could leave whenever we wanted if it went badly. He waited for me at the train station and when I saw him by the platform it felt like seeing the sun for the first time.

W: I was quite nervous meeting her because already I knew that I was in quite deep. To be honest, I wasn’t even thinking about if I’d find her attractive because I already knew I would. Everything about her felt right, and when she came off the platform it was like having my breath stolen from me but paradoxically, I could breathe easier knowing she was there and she was mine. 

Q: Had you been in a relationship during your time discovering one another?

W: No, and I think again we were lucky in that regard. We’ve all heard stories about people already being married, engaged, or in serious relationships learning that they aren’t soulmates. We were both single and I think that’s why we were able to surrender to the magic of it.

A: I don’t know how we would have handled it had we already been committed to other people. The pull towards him is irresistible and I have great respect for those who are going through that tough situation right now.

[…]

THE SCIENCE OF SOULMATES

Natasha Waters - Edited for Metro UK by Miles Kuyer

Before we begin, it is critical that some discussion on the historical context regarding the Era Shift is initiated as to better understand the complexities arising within the studies of Soul Searching, and the concept of the soulmate bonding itself. Furthermore, I would like to point out that this paper exists only as a method of summarising and categorizing what is known, confirmed, and defined in Soul Searching. New discoveries are being made daily given the tumultuous and varying nature of the science, and so I make no attempt to tangentially comment on, or speak to, what may still be considered hypothetical or theory as these are wholly outside of my qualifications. While there is little progress in the study of how soulmate bonding came into fruition (i.e. the direct connection between ion proportion and pheromone detection), there are many things within scientific circles considered to be true and founded, and my hope is to present these to the public to act as a definitive guide on the subject.

In July of 2010, two separate sunspots were discovered on the Sun’s photosphere, each with a diameter of approximately 75,000km in what was eventually discerned to be opposite magnetic polarity. Each spot traveled at the same velocity and propulsion for two days before converging on the photosphere as one critical mass event with a spot diameter of 160,000km. While it is normal for sunspots of this size to endure for a timeframe that varies between two to seven days, this spot endured for three weeks before resulting in a coronal loop. This became the first of many small solar flares across a six month period.

In September of 2010, two other sunspots were discovered in the exact same positions, however these only had diameters of 50,000km. They followed the same trajectory before converging into a single spot with a diameter of 110,000km. The single spot endured for one week before resulting in yet another coronal loop. 

In March of 2011, a coronal mass ejection of 1 × 10^25 joules was released in the position where the two sunspots had converged and decayed. This coronal mass ejection resulted in possibly the largest solar flare we had seen in three decades and reached Earth’s atmosphere in the early hours of March 27th.

Four days later, the first soulmate couple was reported on American local broadcast station Channel 5 in the state of Maryland.

Scientific circles have been able to connect the events of the solar flare to the discovery of soul mate bonding, and Soul Searching, due to the processes through which the electrons and ions were able to restructure neurological responses within the human brain. Through various methods of MRI and X-Ray technologies, we are able to state with absolute certainty that the amygdala has seemingly adapted to respond to pheromone triggers across long distances.

While it is still difficult to accurately discern which other parts of the brain have been affected, as the case study for this issue could undoubtedly be humanity itself - especially with each soul bond differing from case to case - there is confidence that the Reticular Activation System, Temporal lobes, and Limbic systems have all evolved or adapted since the solar flare of 2011. 

[…]

HE STOLE HER CAR AFTER SHE LEFT HIM FOR HER SOUL MATE

[…]

Tune in TONIGHT on Channel 4 to watch The Bond, the latest reality show from the makers -

[…] 

Two years after the Era Shift, many adults are still trying to adapt to the ways in which their soul bond will take effect. Not least of which are a group of individuals from Manchester who have come together as a support group after the loss of major senses.

‘I thought I was terminally ill,’ says Catherine Fisher, 30. ‘You really can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up in the morning and suddenly…everything is so grey. I’m still not used to it, really. My memories are all in colour, and I have pictures of events that I know are in colour but I can’t see them that way.’

Within the group, there are many, underlying feelings regarding the concept of the soul mate as a whole. 

‘We thought it was supposed to be for the betterment of humanity, you know?’ says Daniel Goddard, 36. ‘I was married to a woman I really did love and we have a beautiful daughter, but how do you tell her mommy and daddy aren’t meant to be together? And how do you explain to your wife that you love her, but it’s not enough? And how can you tell me it’s ok I can’t hear music until I meet the person I’m supposed to be with? I know people have it worse off, really I do, but it’s sh**.’

You shut the paper with a huff and rest your head against the wall of the tube carriage, turning the volume of your music up to drown out the roar. Once again, no Sudoku puzzles. The usual page overrun by redundant soul bond news.

Two years on and still the Era Shift seemed to consume the media, the public, the world. As if this was the only thing to care about. As if love was the only newsworthy event because the lack of choice suddenly made it exciting or mysterious. People falling in and out of love made the front page just as often as a world leader or the start of a new war, and both topics make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable in equal measures.

Love has become an irresistible force and consequently, the heart is now an immovable object. Logically, neither can truly exist. Logically, a love like this should be impossible. Choice of partner has been eradicated, replaced instead with a forced paradox of biblical proportions and you can’t find it in your heart to be pleased.

Some days, admittedly, you feel you may be too ungrateful or scornful. You’ve heard the stories of those who’ve lost colour vision, the ability to hear music, the doom clock on the arm that is constantly counting down, and you know, in some way, you’ve been blessed. Ever since the flare, you’ve felt no discernible or ominous change. Your body and your mind have belonged completely to you, always, never intruded on by someone else’s thoughts or feelings and for this you are thankful.

But you feel the same. Unchanged and unmoved, you’ve yet to feel any sort of connection to humanity beyond the basic framework of how things worked before, and you almost feel as though you are the only one who’s been left behind. 

You think you’re supposed to feel part of a grand design. Perhaps, you should feel an anxious sort of excitement that washes over you at whim, whenever you think about prospect or opportunity or fate. Instead, you feel nothing but a tepid neutrality that leaves you feeling bored and, truthfully, bitterly disinterested.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sensation of being watched…admired. The hairs on your arms start to rise in knowledge and slight discomfort, and you release a quiet sigh.

You remember when tube journeys were an anonymous, rather stoic affair. Not long ago, you felt like you could fade into the sea of faces in a tube carriage, enjoying the comfortable silence that came with the ride. Now, even with your eyes closed, you can feel eyes scanning your face, searching for some kind of trigger or shock that says she’s the one. Two years ago, this kind of scrutiny would have been impolite and in poor etiquette. Lately, you’ve grown used to it and occasionally welcome it. You’re starting feel comfortable in the disappointment and distraction, sometimes luxuriating in gladness that others are just as lost as you.

As the train comes to a halt, you open your eyes and stand to depart. It’s now that you see who was looking at you, studying you with a quizzical and fascinated stare. You smile brightly, though you know this will have little result. He’s handsome, handsome in all the right ways with broad shoulders and long fingers - a musician with kind eyes, you think, and you know you’d call him your type. He smiles back, but it’s sad - for both you and him.

In another life, you’d call this a meet cute. In another life, maybe you would have slipped him your number. Today, you are strangers and today you are not soulmates, neither of you belonging to the other for any substantial amount of time. And while he will forget you, moving on to the next pretty face to find the right curves and teeth and hair, you will remember him only because he was wrong, a mistake you could have made. And you know that you would have picked him, picked him and relished the disaster of it, had you only been given the chance.

Hesitantly, you depart the train as your heart says goodbye to a man who could have been yours, in another life.

The walk to the pub from Angel station is quick, drenched in uncharacteristic sunshine and tucked away from the busy high street. It helps you recenter yourself, finding joy in the smallness and simplicity of things. Life continues on around you and in the heart of the city, you almost feel as though nothing has changed. There’s comfort here, in the obscurity of city streets and you relish the sensation of being alone with yourself.

When you arrive, Kate is already waiting for you in a corner booth near the back, and she waves at you with an awkward enthusiasm, childlike in its nature. She’s radiating joy, it’s brimming out and over from her smile and into the room, and you’re blinded on impact; she’s even ordered you a cider. 

Immediately, you’re wary. 

‘Hiya,’ you say, shrugging your bag off and onto the cushion between you and the wall. ‘What’s all this about, then?’

‘What do you mean?’ she asks, airily. ‘Can’t I buy you drink?’

‘Kate, you’ve literally never bought me a drink unless it was my birthday.’

She looks down at her own glass, smiling with a warm sort of shyness you haven’t seen since you first met her. It’s unlike her to be so reserved or bashful. Usually, she’s rather frank, even to the point of sometimes catching you off guard with her seemingly absent sense of tact. This is unlike her. She has something she wants to tell you, but she’s afraid of your reaction. She’s afraid of you. 

‘I have some news,’ she begins, lightly. 

‘Of course you do,’ you say, softly, trying to ease her into the conversation. ‘What’s so important it couldn’t wait until after my shift?’ 

‘I bonded last night.’ 

‘Oh…’ 

Words live in your mind and die on your tongue, dissolving before you can birth them into the atmosphere. A slight chill has wandered down your spine, settling in your bones and dropping your stomach with disappointment. For a whole minute, you forget that your surprised sigh is the only sound you’ve made.

‘Wow, that’s incredible!’ You hope this exclamation sounds excited; you’re sure that it doesn’t. 

‘You don’t sound terribly enthusiastic,’ she laughs.

Anyone else, and you know they would have been upset at your reaction. Bonding is meant to be treated like engagement announcements of the past, and your lukewarm response would be considered hurtful and rude. But Kate knows you, knows everything about you down to your core, and she already expected this from you. 

‘No I am, really!’ you backtrack with a laugh. ‘I just…you were like, the one friend, you know? We had the shit end of things. And now I’ve got no one to complain to.’

You’re trying to keep the mood light, lacing your tone with a playfulness you think might have been found on single women before the flare.

As usual, she cuts your words down to the heart of your sentiments.

‘You have a soulmate,’ she presses. ‘I know you do.’

This really isn’t what you wanted, changing her announcement into a debate about you and your seemingly absent soul bond. Truthfully, you’re not in the mood to discuss all the ways you seem to be excluded from a newfound sense of completeness, so you change the subject to something that interests you more. 

‘Whatever,’ you say, dismissively. ‘Let me see the clock.’ 

Resting her right arm on the table with an awed expression, you lean forward to admire the purple-white numbers just below her skin.

23:04:16:17:04:22

Twenty-three years, four months, sixteen days, seventeen hours, four minutes, and twenty-two seconds. That’s how long it took her to find her soulmate.

Unlike many people who were fortunate enough to have a clock that counts down to finding their soulmate, Kate had received a clock that tracked how long it would take. You both found this to be one of the least helpful gifts of the solar flare, and, while it isn’t a major sensory loss, for a time you both considered this to be one of the most traumatizing. 

The morning she woke up and discovered a clock beneath her skin was the first time you ever heard her cry. She’d called in a panic, her breaths falling in quick, shallow succession as her words became mangled in her sobs. Initially, she thought she had been dreaming, but the burn along her flesh was far to tangible to be fiction of the mind. Then, she thought it was a tattoo and, for a brief moment, she felt comforted. But soon, she realized she hadn’t been out the night before and, probably most horrifying of all, the numbers were moving.

They were counting, upwards and towards something, and for days all she did was watch the clock. She’d skipped classes, sat in her bathtub and watched the way the numbers made the water drops glow. After about a week of trying to figure out what it could possibly be counting to, she threatened to cut the numbers out with a kitchen knife. Screaming over the phone, she said they were driving her crazy, that the numbers haunted her even behind her eyes. She was trapped and consumed by time, and if this was what it took to find true love then she didn’t want it at all.

This was her lowest point, her lowest, darkest point, and it’s difficult to have this memory, so visceral and clear in your mind, as you watch her smile at the thing she once so deeply hated.

In the grand scheme of things, you find this to be an incredibly short period of time: to change your mind about the clock, to change your mind about your soulmate - to find your soulmate at all. It’s all happened so fast, and you’re starting to feel left behind.

Shaking your head to clear your head, you lean back and take a large drink of cider. ‘So, tell me how it happened.’

‘It was in Covent Garden actually.’

Your laugh comes out as an unsurprised bark, accidental in the magnitude of its volume. Covent Garden is her favourite part of London. This story almost sounds romanticized and predictable. ‘Of course it was.’ 

‘Ha ha,’ she mocks. ‘He was actually coming out of Whittard’s as I was going down to watch the string quartet, and when I saw him it was…it was like seeing stars.’

‘Stars are just lights in the sky,’ you casually remark with a shrug. ‘They aren’t really that special.’

‘I don’t mean like a standard city night sky,’ she retorts with a roll of her eyes. ‘I mean…imagine whole galaxies blooming in front of you.’

Eyes wide at this statement, you almost choke on your drink. ‘Oh, so suddenly you’re a poet?’ 

‘Maybe I am, now!’ she laughs.

‘So when are you seeing him?’

Her response is terribly quick.

‘Tonight actually.’

Now you do choke on your drink. ‘To-tonight? That’s so soon.’

‘I know,’ she giggles. ‘But within minutes I just wanted to do absolutely everything with him. Like, even right now I’m anxious being away from him.’ 

Everything about this sounds like it’s moving impossibly fast. There’s no courting, no collection of texts to prelude an actual date, no time to actually get to know one another. Perhaps because you’re the only one without the tension and anticipation of emotional connection, it makes you terribly nervous.

‘Please be careful,’ you say, seriously.

‘He’s my soulmate, not a stranger,’ she sighs.

‘I mean he kind of is.’ Your voice is colder than you intended, so you soften yourself before continuing. ‘You’ve known him, what, twenty-four hours and you’re already in this deep?’

She narrows her eyes at you, and you can feel her frankness before she even opens her mouth.

‘You know,’ she says, voice warm but stern. ‘Not long ago we would have considered this standard excitement over a cute guy. I feel like you think it’s different now because we just know we’re meant to be together.’

‘I’d still be telling you to be careful,’ you reply. ‘Especially if he was just some guy and not your soulmate.’

She takes a long sip of her drink and furrows her brow. ‘Yeah, but he is my soulmate, so I don’t think he’s going to hurt me.’

‘I just have to say it, okay?’ It almost sounds like a plea, and perhaps it is.

Her features relax into an expression of gentle understanding, her lips pulled into a sympathetic smile. Today is not the day for arguing.

‘Sometimes I don’t know why you’re so hard on the soulmate thing,’ she says, changing the subject. ‘You know, considering your parents.’

After the Era Shift, most marriages began to dissolve and shatter as nearly everyone had somehow wound up with the wrong partner. There really wasn’t a single person you knew whose family wasn’t broken because of this, except your own. Somehow, when your parents woke up affected by the solar flare, they faced each other in bed and found The One, the one they had shared a bed with for 35 years. They’d spent the morning laughing, touching, and rediscovering each other, the bond only magnifying their love for one another. This was how it was meant to be, you thought, an awakening and discovery of what was already there. It rarely worked out this way. 

‘They were the minority,’ you clarify. ‘And their fate really has nothing to do with mine, you know? They had each other. You have a soulmate. I’m not even sure what I have.’

Kate sips her drink and regards you with a cool stare. She knows there’s more you want to say, and you know she’s already slightly exasperated with you. None of this is new. It’s a discussion you’ve had with her, and many of your other friends, for the past two years and you keep coming back to it like a crutch. You don’t really feel passionate about love, because you’ve been excluded from it for so long. Nor are you passionate about people, but you feel very passionately about free will and you can’t help but feel like it’s been taken from you.

‘Love is complicated,’ you concede. ‘It’s so complex and difficult, and people are always making promises to each other they can barely keep -’

‘That’s why soulmates are a thing now,’ she interjects, smoothly. 

‘Okay, but it tripled divorce rates because suddenly these people weren’t meant to be together.’ 

‘There’s every chance those marriages would have failed along the way, regardless.’ She tries to say it as gently as she can, but it still comes out a little bit callous.

‘Yeah, but not all of them,’ you say, voice rising. ‘Those people entered into a marriage because they loved each other, and some of them would have worked through their issues or weathered that storm because they chose to. That to me is more beautiful than just knowing things are going to be ok because some kind of fate tells you it’s going to be.’

‘I get that, really I do,’ she asserts in hushed tones, trying to coax you back down. ‘But I don’t think you’re counting the fact that you’ll want to choose your soulmate. At every turn, you’ll want to choose them. And no one is saying the problems are gone. You can’t have a relationship that never, ever has an argument, but it makes it easier to forgive.’

‘You’ve literally known yours for a day and you’re already lecturing me,’ you groan, though you can’t seem to hide your laughter.

‘It comes from a place of love,’ she says dryly, reaching out to touch your hand.

You regard each other in silence for a long while, and mentally you’re already preparing for yet another loss. Soon, her time will be entirely taken up with her soulmate. If you do spend time together, it will include a person who effectively turns you into the third-wheel of a nine year friendship. It pains you to see things this way, but you’ve lived through it enough to know this is how it starts and, though you are aware of it, you’re never quite prepared for how it ends. Several of your friends and family have coupled off, their days spent in a marital bliss unlike anything you’d ever witnessed. You know that Kate will always be your friend, but you know, deep down, things will never feel like this again.

Pensive and just a little bit sad, you glance at the clock on your phone and begrudgingly start to gather your things.  

‘I’ve got to head to the shop,’ you say, coming to stand and downing the last of your cider. ‘Tell me how everything goes, yeah?’

‘Will do,’ she replies, standing with you to offer you a hug.

Her embrace is warm and comforting, connected in a way you know you will soon miss. Pulling away from it is almost painful, but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her that everything is going to be just fine. You will be just fine. 

The walk to the record shop is short and what would have been a peaceful stroll is now consumed with thoughts of Kate’s bond. You don’t like to consider yourself envious, you don’t envy her clock and you don’t really envy the fact that she’s found her soulmate, but you think you envy her ability to surrender into the dream of it all. She makes it sound and feel easy, makes it sound like something beautiful and wondrous. Sometimes you think with your guard so high and impenetrable, it’s no wonder you haven’t felt any sort of change. 

Pushing open the door to Flashback Records, you’re relieved to see your favourite coworker standing behind the counter cleaning a record. You don’t often get to work with him, seeing as the market for second hand records is rather small. There’s been a slight influx of customers over the years, the advent of soul bonding seeming to make people nostalgic for the romance of tangible, physical music played from a turntable. Still, business is never busy enough to require more than one person on the till. 

‘How long are you here?’ you ask, sliding behind him to get to the employees only closet. 

‘Until about half-six,’ comes his reply, though he doesn’t both to look up from the record he’s cleaning. His blonde hair has fallen into his eyes, and he’s so focused on his task he doesn’t both to brush it away.

‘Nice. Looks like you’re stuck with me for three hours,’ you tease, nudging him with your hip.

‘Don’t!’ he hisses. ‘You’ll make my hand slip and scratch it.’

Rolling your eyes, you start to clock in on the till computer but you briefly become distracted. On the turntable in the back of the store, Chris has chosen to play something that sounds vaguely familiar to you. You know you’ve heard it before, perhaps with a different guitar effect or voice, but you know that you’ve heard it and you know that, at some point, it meant something very dear to you. 

Part of this doesn’t feel like a memory that belongs to you, but you’re fond of the song and the way it tells a story. All at once, you think you’ve figured it out.  

‘Hey, Chris, wasn’t this in Pulp Fiction?’ you ask, frozen in place at the counter. 

Even as you suggest it, it feels wrong. You know it was used in the film, you’re sure of it, but this doesn’t feel like the question you want to be asking or should be asking. The song feels heavier than a soundtrack, heavier than a memory of cinema or cult fan-boy connection.

‘This is Neil Diamond,’ he snorts. ‘How do you not know this song?’

‘I know the song,’ you say quickly, frustrated. ‘Can you just answer my question.’

‘This is the original version,’ he explains, though he doesn’t sound terribly interested. ‘Urge Overkill did a cover of it that was used in Pulp Fiction.’

‘Where’s the sleeve?’ you demand.

He nods in the direction of the end of the counter, and you eagerly reach for the album sleeve. With it in your hands, you get the passing sensation of slipping, like you’ve held this exact item in your hands before, or heard this precise version or sang it to someone important. You know that you haven’t, and think maybe what you’re experiencing is a prosthetic sort of nostalgia, a nostalgia brought on by a wish for a life you could have lived.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep inhale of breath, you center yourself and, as quickly as it came, the moment passes. You decide then that you need this song in some way, need it to be close to you always, so you pull out your phone and add the album to your Spotify. Truthfully, you don’t think anything has ever been as important as this song is, right here, right now.

It’s important that you have this song with you, tonight and for every tomorrow. Important that you make it yours.

#chanyeol x reader #exo soulmate au #kpoptrashtag #exo scenarios #soulmate!au #exo fanfiction #exo ff #exo au #exo soulmate #park chanyeol fic #park chanyeol x reader #park chanyeol #exo fluff #exo angst #park chanyeol fluff #park chanyeol angst

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 3

Episode 12: Gas or Fail (SMUT)

*warning, warning, warning, actual, genuine spiciness and filth ahead - look out for the in-chapter warnings (it's not my best but this was just the beginning, so let's get started.)*

smut includes: (y/n) is muy horny, p in v sex, outdoor(?) sex (idk it's in a cave), dom! ray, sub (y/n), light fingering (just a smidge cos le smut is short), creampie. think that's it.

~In the Man Cave~

So, Captain Man had many traditions, some were cute, some were weird and some were just plain necessary. The time had rolled around once again where Ray made Schwoz test his superpower to make sure it hadn't deteriorated or weakened since the last time they tried it. And for years, the genius only had one superhero to work on as Ray was alone with his uniqueness, but now, he also had (y/n) and Henry to work on. All they had to do was wait for the kid to get to work after college.

"I'm actually pretty excited about it." (y/n) told her boyfriend, walking out from the back room where she had been feeding Colin as Schwoz set up all his equipment. The bunny had settled in nicely and she had to say, he was really part of the family, even if she did have to watch Schwoz like a hawk, making sure he wasn't experimenting on him. Anyway, each test would be similar, but for each person, he was going to have different results so he had to be prepared for that. Probably because Ray threatened him with unimaginable violence if something went wrong and his precious sweet girl got hurt.

"I don't you getting hurt." He murmured back, pressing his lips to her forehead as they sat on a chair in the main room, her perched on his lap. All the waiting was making Ray antsy, especially since the "pain machine" was in his line of sight; he just wanted to keep her protected, even if this whole charade was necessary and an important safety test.

"I'm Miss Danger, I don't get hurt." She reassured him and cupped his jaw so she could capture his mouth with hers. It was weird, normally he was the needy one, but on that particular day, he looked so damn fine, she just wanted to have him all to herself. Ray was more than happy to let her indulge in his bubblegum-mint taste and his hands clenched on her waist when her hips started undulating on their own. Geez, she really was needy.

The elevator dinged and in walked Henry, who shrugged off his bag and grimaced at the sight of Ray eating (y/n)'s face. Ugh, why did they have to do it where everyone could see? Noticing that his sidekick had arrived, the superhero broke the kiss so they could get this shit over and done with, but (y/n) wasn't quite ready to let go.

"Sweet girl...he's here." He chuckled when she clenched her fists tightly around the material of his zip-up hoodie and tried to keep the smooch going. God, he looked so good in it, she just wanted him to love her and she had to clench her thighs together to stop the ache in between them.

"Fine, let's do this thing." She grumbled, pulling away from him reluctantly and folding her arms with a pout on her face. Looks like she'd have to wait until later to get some action. 

"Aye-aye" Schwoz nodded and started powering up whatever he was going to use, but Henry needed to discuss something with them first and he'd say it was more important than the superpower thing.

"Uh, hey. Wait, guys, I didn't get any lunch at school, can we order some, like, Chinese food?" The boy asked the essential thing that had been praying on his mind all afternoon. If his stomach growling was anything to go by, he need some chow and he needed it soon. (y/n) hopped off her boyfriend's knee so he could change his shoes (why he needed to do that, she didn't know) and looked at Henry weirdly.

"What? Why Chinese food?" She asked, trying to shake off the fire pooling in her stomach and focus on what should've been a normal day. Stupid Ray and his stupid hot, sexy, handsome face and body.

"I want some of them, oh, whaddya call 'em? They're like Chinese dumplings?" Henry described, knowing exactly what he meant, but he couldn't quite get the name off the tip of his tongue. Luckily though, he was friends with Schwoz, he ordered Chinese way too often and knew the names of most things on every menu in town. Well, he did when it was described clearly.

"Oh, you mean wom-pons?" He asked, trying to think of the dish he was talking about. He knew what it was, but due to his thick accent, Schwoz mispronounced the name and like usual, Henry couldn't decipher it.

"Yeah...nooooo." He frowned, still not used to Schwoz and his weird way of speaking, despite him having worked as Kid Danger for over three years now. At least he had Ray, who had known the genius the longest and knew exactly what he was saying, well, most of the time.

"Won-tons, he means won-tons, not wom-pons." He stressed, quickly tying his shoelaces whilst (y/n) circled him so she could start rubbing his shoulders. He didn't know what her game was, but wow, her small hands felt like magic, even if they were feeling him up rather than massaging away his aches and pains.

"I did my best to say it right," Schwoz grumbled, kicking himself for screwing up his English again. He hated how complicated the language was and how he often made mistakes that he was teased for.

"Whatever, can we order some?" Henry asked his boss and put a supportive hand on Schwoz's shoulder. At least he tried his best.

"Not now, it's time for my bi-yearly quantitative physiological densitisation test." Ray put his hands on his hips, proud that he'd managed to say the complicated sentence with its multi-syllabic words all in one go. It made him feel so damn smart.

"I understood the word, test." Henry, on the other hand, wasn't so smart and picked up nothing apart from that Ray was doing something that sounded important. 

"It's a test to make sure that he's totally indestructible and no one can hurt him." (y/n) explained it in much simpler terms, wrapping her arms around Ray's waist so she could snuggle into his side. 

"Mmmmm, can we get some won-tons first? I'll order them, you two don't even have to stop being gross and all...huggy." Henry wrinkled his nose, gesturing to how the couple cuddled even when they were stood up. It was sickeningly cute and now a common occurrence in the Man Cave, not that it made it any easier to ignore.

"No, and we are not gross," Ray told him firmly, not seeing why he should let the kid order his food when he was mildly insulting him. He loved how snuggly and needy his girl was being today and he'd be damned if his sidekick got in the way of that.

"You'll understand when you're older and have a girlfriend." (y/n) bit her tongue as she smiled at Henry's overreaction. Yeah, he liked girls, but he didn't like them that much. Not yet, anyway.

"You see that machine over there?" Ray pointed to some weird launcher thing that Schwoz had primed and armed so it was now smoking from the back. Next to it was a smaller but still deadly laser cannon that was going to be used on (y/n), something she wasn't particularly looking forward to, but it was always cool to see how her body could heal itself.

"Yeah..." Henry nodded, wondering why there was so much machinery out for one superhero and his test. Little did he know...

"It's gonna shoot baseballs at ya." The young woman smirked, watching in amusement as the boy paled slightly. They wanted to do what to him?

"Bu--what? Why me?" He gasped, not realising that since he was now part of the superpower squad, he had to have all these regular checkups.

"Because! Because of your new superpower."Ray answered, making Henry throw his head back with a groan. He knew there had to be a catch, he just didn't know it would be so risky. "Yeah, you're hyper-mutilatiew..." Schwoz joined in, but his tongue just didn't want to work, so it came out all slurred and jumbled.

"Okay, it's hyper-motility." Henry enunciated, trying to give the small man an elocution lesson as Ray began stretching and warming up for his test. His muscles were flexing and tensing and when she got a small peek of the skin above his waistband, (y/n) nearly collapsed. If she could, she'd get on her knees in that very moment and show him how much she wanted to please him.

"Okay, okay, can we just move on?" She asked, needing to get her head in the game since she was about to be blasted with a powerful, skin-burning, hair-frying, utterly devasting beam that would kill a fully grown man. Not her though, of course.

"Schwoz, show him your bat," Ray ordered his handyman, also wanting to get on with the test since it was his chance to show off in front of his girlfriend. Yeah, she'd see how tough he was.

"His--his what?" Henry stuttered, praying that his boss wasn't euphemistically referring to something else. 

"You see...when you see the balls a-comin', you use this a-base-a-ball bat to swing-schvat the balls." He explained in his little Schwoz way and brought over a steel baseball bat for Henry. Thank god, it was a bat and not something awful like the boy had been fearing.

"Yep and then Schwoz is gonna measure the speed of the base-a-balls and then, after I get hit, I tell him when my pain stops and I feel okay." Ray finished, making sure to not pass up the opportunity of mocking the small guy. 

"And then, I will use my big brain and a mathematical equation to determine how indestructible Ray is." (y/n) smiled up at her boyfriend, fluttering her eyelashes like it would entice him to postpone the test for half an hour, just to quench her desires. Fat chance.

"...I just want, like, five won-tons," Henry whined, feeling like faint from low blood sugar or something. Food, that's all he wanted and after that, they could do whatever tests they liked.

"You can have some won-tons after we do this!" Ray snapped in an agitated tone. It would take like five minutes to do this; Henry could wait. "Right..."

"I'm gonna go stand here by the elevator. That's what I'm gonna do." The superhero said and swaggered over to the spot where he would be hit by the baseballs. Not wanting to be beaten up prematurely, (y/n) ducked behind the couch and awaited the beginning of the experiment with paper and pen. Schwoz was equally nervous; he put a large, clear cubic helmet onto his head and clipped it to his boiler suit. 

"What's that for?" Henry asked, sharing a confused look with Ray. Neither of them could see why being hit in the face with a rogue, flying ball would be a bad thing, mainly because when it happened to them, they always came out with no cuts or bruises.

"To protect a-my face from stray balls." He answered, his voice sounded filtered and robotic from the protective headgear. Whatever, they had to get on.

"Henry, take this base-a-ball bat..." Schwoz twisted the handle of the bat and pressed a button, making it illuminate like some kind of lightsaber shit, which thoroughly impressed Henry.

"Whoa, what kinda baseball bat is this?" He asked, twirling it around and admiring how it blurred into a whiz of white light. 

"It's thermal fusion bat I made myself." The genius said smugly, thinking he was oh so clever with his invention, but he was forgetting that he didn't work on it alone.

"Hey, I helped!" (y/n) called out from her hiding place, feeling irritated from his blatant dismissal of how she assisted in putting the damn thing together and from how Ray was blind to how much she wanted him. She should've dragged him back to bed when they woke that morning.

"You did the wiring." Schwoz scoffed, thinking that a little soldering and assembling was nothing compared to the science and schematics he studied. What a jumped-up, little asshole.

"All right, do it yourself next time, you dick." She muttered and flopped back onto her butt in a sulk.

"Can you make thermal fusion won-tons?" Henry asked, still having food on the brain. He couldn't swing on an empty stomach, but that was exactly what Ray planned on making him do.

"Come on, Henry, just get over there!" Ray instructed him and the kid sighed but did as he was told. He wheeled the chair from earlier out of the way and got into position. 

"Yah, yah, yah, here we go!" Schwoz squealed and ran back up to his controls so they could begin. "Okay, let's test one." He clapped his hands together and Ray prepared himself, shaking his body loose and clearing his mind. 

"Go for it." He growled, making (y/n) squirm as she peeped over the top of the sofa. That look in his eyes, the one he had when he was beyond determined, made her whimper.

"Ready, Henry?" Schwoz took one last chance to stop the machine, but the sidekick was also eager to do this thing. "Yeah, go."

Schwoz slammed his hand down on the release button and a baseball was fired from the cannon at a speed so fast, it could barely be seen by the naked eye. Henry's reflexes didn't care about that though, the boy whacked the ball as if it was going in slow motion and it pinged off his bat and hit the elevator so hard, it disintegrated the metal in a puff of smoke. Poor Ray, he didn't even get the chance to test out his superpower. 

"Hahahaha! Missed me, missed me, now you gotta ki---" Ray jeered at the boy, but it soon died when he realised that in these circumstances, he rather eat his own foot than kiss the boy. Ew, ew, ew, there was only one person he wanted to kiss and she thought his sudden shy attitude was so darn cute. 

"Now he gotta what?" She teased, loving how his cheeks were dusted pink and even Henry was amused by how he'd flustered himself. 

"Nothin', forget it." He rubbed his neck and avoided her playful gaze, which allowed her to check him out. From his floppy, brown hair to his slim waist that she knew was chiselled with pure muscle, she could hardly breathe when she analysed every part of him that she loved, which was everything that made up Ray Manchester. 

"No, no, no, now I gotta what?" It was Henry's turn to tease him, making his boss go all pouty and he scuffed his shoe against the tiles. "No, I changed my mind, okay? You don't gotta do anything." He squeaked quickly, his words jumbling together so fast that it was obvious that he was shy.

"Aw, you want to kissy, kissy, kissy." (y/n) pursed her lips together and giggled when he screwed his nose up at her silly voice. He did want to kissy, kissy, kissy, but with her only and it annoyed him when people mocked him otherwise.

"God, come on, Schwoz, if we're gonna do this, let's do it! God!" The sidekicks giggled and high-fived each other at how they made a grown man stamp his feet over something so silly. Okay, serious time, serious time.

"Okay, here we goes." Schwoz popped another ball into the machine and the young woman knelt behind the couch once again, ready to work out the math when Schwoz told her to.

"Oh, Ray, I gotta tell you somethin'." Henry suddenly remembered that he had something more critical than food to tell his boss, not that it was the best time to tell him.

"What?" Ray asked, just as Schwoz shouted for another ball being released. Even though he wasn't expecting it in the least, Henry reacted perfectly and whacked the ball like a pro. It ricocheted across the room and collided with Ray's jaw, sending him to the floor with a groan of pain. (y/n) winced at the velocity, but she needn't worry, the ever indestructible Captain Man sprung to his feet with a smirk.

"I'm okay!" He bragged, happily using his catchphrase since it made his girl breathe a sigh of relief. Aw, he liked it when she cared. 

"Two-hundred and four miles per hour, (y/n)," Schwoz reported as he read from his scanner and once she heard the figure, the woman began doing the long division, multiplication, subtraction and whatever else the equation called for. She liked math, not as much as mechanics, but then again, a lot of that boiled down to numbers and fractions.

"What did want to tell me?" Ray questioned, not once looking away from his girl as her tongue poked out in concentration. The sight of her moist lips entranced him and it was hard to pay attention to what the kid was saying.

"I can't make it to work tomorrow," Henry revealed, which captured his focus. He played a vital role in the Man Cave team and Ray didn't like the sound of being one sidekick down.

"What do you mean you can't make it to work tomorrow?!" He exclaimed, but the conversation would have to be put on hold as Schwoz sent the second ball through the machine. They needed an average, not just a one-off figure, so they'd have to do this a few times.

Henry hit the ball dead-on again, this time sending it into Ray's arm, which on any normal person, would break their arm clean through, but not with him. He fell again but quickly recovered.

"Still okay." He smirked, making eye contact with his girl when he caught her staring. What was with her today? She kept blushing and looking at him, not that he minded. It actually made him feel very cocky.

"Two-hundred and seventeen miles per hour," Schwoz announced, allowing (y/n) to move onto her second equation; the same process but with the new figure. 

"Tomorrow's Achievement Test Day at school," Henry told him, casually resting the bat on his shoulder, but unlike him, Ray was anything but calm at the news of this dumb school crap.

"Hey, you're my sidekick, that means tha--" Oh, poor Ray. The next ball came fast and furious, bouncing from Henry and landing square in his crotch, making everyone else wince at the sore impact. (y/n) was especially touched, since that was what she'd been after all day and their main chance of having children in the future.

"You guessed it; okay." He smirked, shaking off the excruciating agony to keep up his nonchalant manner. Yeah, (y/n) didn't have to worry, she'd get what she wanted, both promptly and distantly.

"Two-hundred and thirty-six miles per hour." The next result came in, each one increasing as Henry got into the swing of things. He should think about playing for Swellview High's baseball team if he could keep the game fair.

"Look, dude, it's not my fault, okay? If I leave school for any reason, I can get in huge trouble." Henry explained, not that Ray and his childishness could recognise how important this was to the boy. 

"Okay, fine, you baby. Take the day off, but it's comin' out of your vacation time." Ray conceded, confusing (y/n) and Henry, who had never taken a vacation day in the entire duration of their employment.

"We get vacation time?" (y/n) frowned, still counting herself amongst the workers since she received a paycheck every month, not that she counted this as work anymore. She deemed it "living with the hot boyfriend and occasionally kicking ass with him". 

"Uh, ah, eh--you...uh, you--you don't. I mean there's no state law that says you do, so y'know don't even check." Ray bit his lip, not wanting to admit that he lawfully owed his helpers time off, but he hated being without them since it made his life boring and/or dangerous. He liked having them around, not that he would ever be without his sweet girl.

"Wait, so are you saying that--" Henry was also confused, but Ray didn't want to talk about the awkward topic, so he yelled the release word and another ball was fired at the teen. He'd rather take another hit than admit his failings, but he wouldn't have to. Henry's aim was slightly off and this time, rather than hurting Ray, the ball smashed through Schwoz's useless helmet and smacked into his face. 

The three watched as the small man's eyes rolled back and he collapsed down the steps, completely wiped out. Oops, maybe he should've hidden behind a solid object like (y/n).

"He's probably all right." She shrugged, wandering over to his body with Henry and Ray. He was breathing, so she assumed that he wasn't going to die.

"Yeah..." Henry nodded, feeling a little guilty that he'd knocked the guy out when he was trying to help him. It wasn't his fault, not really.

"Get some won-tons?" The boy suggested, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but near Schwoz when he woke up with the mother of all headaches and no doubt the opinion that he was to blame.

"Yeah, sure, let's go." Ray quickly agreed and grabbed (y/n)'s hand so he could lead her to the supercomputer, where they could order some Chinese food. They'd order something for Schwoz too, of course, and hopefully, it would be enough to tame his inevitable anger.

~The next day~

So, (y/n) felt like she was burning up inside or dying. Yeah, dying sounded accurate. She had tried all day yesterday to try and seduce Ray into fucking her through his mattress, but no luck. 

When Schwoz had finished yelling at them and they'd eaten an entire Chinese buffet, including about a million won-tons, the superheroes had received call after call after call, forcing them to stay out until the early hours of the morning. Even when Henry had gone home early to sleep before his big test day thing, she still couldn't tempt him into her dark morality, nor could she when she wiggled her best assets or gazed at him with smouldering eyes. Ray was too tired by 2 AM, leaving her with no choice but to lay and listen to his heartbeat as he dozed off and she tried to keep the depths of her mind from stirring up all kinds of dreams that made her subtly grind up against him. 

The morning was no better, just when (y/n) thought that she might be able to pounce on Ray before he could leave the bed, Swellview's stupid emergency alarm started ringing, indicating that a major sitch was going down. Ray immediately sat up and flicked on the TV that was mounted on the wall, listening intently as Trent Overrunder described how a gas pipe had burst underground and was now leaking toxic fumes into the city. The cry from Mary for Swellview's greatest heroes to help forced Captain Man into action since he and his sidekicks were the only ones who were brave enough to go down into the Earth.

And so, (y/n) was dragged from the comfort of her soft sheets, made to put on the costume that hugged her in all the right places and sent off with Ray to clog up the leak. No matter how many times she tried to take a kiss further or subtly slide her hand down his stomach, he just pulled away and ranted about how innocent people were in danger, meaning the poor girl had to swallow down her desires and do as she was told. 

Now, getting to the burst pipe was quite tricky; they had to abseil down a narrow ravine, which was dug out in an old mine known for roof collapses and falling boulders. Yeah, it was pretty scary. It also didn't help that Schwoz had stupidly packed one rope, so Ray was currently descending the drop with his girl strapped to his chest and a song to pass the time.

"Captain Man, (y/n), beware! He's so attractive, you'll want to kiss his face...right on the mouth!" He sang pretty poorly, but she didn't care. Their noses were brushing against one another and his not-so-subtle way of asking her for a kiss reignited the fire that she had managed to contain on the drive to the old mineshaft. 

"Oh, my captain." She joked with a giggle and connected their lips in a hot kiss that made her melt against him as they swung a few metres off the ground. She was desperate to take it further and feel those lips move elsewhere, but then Ray remembered that they were down there for a reason and they had yet to make contact with home base.

"Schwoz, you there?" Ray said into his satellite phone, disconnecting their passionate tangle in favouring of ringing up his trusty assistant back in the Man Cave, even if he did crave more of her honey-like taste.

"Yah, what?" Schwoz's voice crackled over the poor signal, but it was understandable and a miracle that the phone was still receiving and transmitting so deep underground. 

"We're now two-hundred and fifty feet down in the nuclear gas shaft," Ray reported, but the small guy was taking advantage of the peace and quiet by watching one of his favourite TV shows, meaning he wasn't interested in what was happening to them. "Yeah, so?"

"Sooo, as soon as we can, we're gonna---ahhhh!" Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The superhero never got the chance to finish his sentence as a terrible combination of the old rope snapping and a shaft collapse coincided at exactly the wrong moment.

The couple fell a few feet to the murky floor, which wasn't a terrible drop considering that Ray's indestructible body took the brunt force of it so (y/n) would have a softer landing. He didn't want to see her hurt, even if she was nearly as powerful as him with her healing. The real problem came when rocks, planks of wood and other debris came dropping on top of them, forcing him to quickly roll her over so he could curl over her body and shelter her from whatever tumbled past their heads. The whimper from having the weight of him on top of her was mistaken by Ray as fear and he suddenly became hyperaware of what danger they were in. 

"Ray? Ray, what was the noises I just heard?" They heard Schwoz's concerned voice over the battered radio and Ray flopped to his girlfriend's side as they coughed and spluttered at the gas and dust that filled the air. (y/n) was fairly sure that she was littered with bruises and cuts, but trusted in her ability to clean them up in seconds.

"Ah, our stupid support beam broke." Ray grimaced, helping his girl to her feet whilst he looked up at the ravine they had just descended. God, the rope was shredded and the walls were sheer, unstable clay and rock, leaving them stranded in the festering pit.

"Can you get out?" Schwoz asked, suddenly disregarding his TV show as a calamity emerged. This was really fucking serious.

"No, the top of the shaft is mostly blocked off and the walls look like they could cave in at any moment." (y/n) butted in, leaning in close to the receiver as Ray curled an arm around her waist. He felt like she needed support in the tense moment, but little did he know, the small action made her use all her resilience to stop herself from jumping him.

"Oooh, that reminds me. This afternoon, I have my colonoscopy." They could hear his smile over the airwaves, drawing groans from the couple. He'd have to cancel it for the third time, they needed rescuing.

"Schwoz! We don't wanna hear about your body problems, all right? There's a lady present and we're trapped down here." Ray scolded him, making (y/n) smile at his protectiveness. She didn't care about what medical problems Schwoz have, but it was nice to know that he wanted to save what little innocence she had left. She was throwing it out the window if it meant she'd get to stop the thrumming pulse between her legs.

"Okay, you want me and to come and get you and your girlfriend?" Schwoz groaned at the prospect of having to move his butt, but it wasn't so simple. The way Ray and (y/n) had entered was utterly sealed off.

"You can't, what part of blocked off don't you understand?" (y/n) questioned sarcastically, starting to get irritated when she realised that they'd be down here for at least two hours, leaving her to die from being overly-horny.

"Okay, bye-bye." The genius took that as a sign that they'd be fine on their own, after all, they had craved it for so long before they had finally revealed their true feelings. 

"No, no, Schwoz! Now look, write this down..." Ray started, but Schwoz wasn't a fan of being patronised. He could remember this easily. "Okay...I need you to triple beep Henry. Get him out of the school. Tell him to pop a gumball...And then he's got to get the Tyson drill, come to the gas plant and then Henry needs to drop into the ventilator shaft, which is right next to us, drill through the wall and get us outta here." Ray gave his instructions clearly and succinctly with Schwoz repeating what he said every few seconds like he was paying attention. His show was much more entertaining.

"Got it," Schwoz confirmed, having written none of it down, but was confident that he had everything tucked away in his mind. Positively, his confidence was well-founded.

"Oh, and tell him to bring some of those won-tons." (y/n) added, guessing that if she was rather peckish now, she'd be ravenous by the time they were found. It was a small request, but a good one.

"Bring some wom-pons," Schwoz confirmed in his weird accent, playing on Ray's temper, which was irritated every time he said something incorrectly. It didn't help that he and his girl were trapped in a smelly hole either. "Won-tons!"

"Calm down, grumpy." (y/n) told him soothingly, wiping away the dust and grime that had settled on his jaw and cheeks. She overlooked the way his growling voice reverberated through her bones and settled in her core in favour of chasing away his anger.

"If you live in America, you should learn how to say won-tons." He huffed and pulled a laser from his pocket in an attempt to cut through the metal door of an old elevator. The orange beam illuminated the room and the two watched as it lightly scorched the metal, but stood no chance of melting it away. Whatever rust and gunk had solidified on it over the years was pretty tough and even if they did get through, there was always the chance that the elevator shaft was collapsed too. 

"Well, we could fix the gas leak." (y/n) suggested when that plan failed. If they died down here, at least they'd know that they'd done their duties and saved the good citizens of Swellview.

"Yeah, you're right, sweet girl. Come help me block it up with all these boulders." He mumbled and they started to shift the rocks around the room so they'd form a protective bubble around the crack. They had to improvise with the old wooden planks lying around, which they used as prop shafts to keep the whole thing in place and it was a damn laborious task. Hauling the rubble around was nothing for Ray and his bulging biceps, but (y/n) was daintier than him and lacked his super strength. She lugged the final boulder into place with a heaving, panting groan, which prompted Ray to wrap himself around her so his hands could help to manoeuvre the boulder too.

*MATURE - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*

"Last one, sweet girl, and this leak is plugged." He whispered into her ear, making her very aware of how he was curled over her with his lips centimetres away from the sweet spot under her ear. Was he doing this on purpose?

"Ray..." She couldn't help but moan out when his hips slotted against hers, making her grind backwards so her scorching heat would find some relief against the rough material of his pants.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked, taken aback by her whiny tone, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to do anything about it. Far from it.

"Been needing you since yesterday. Won't let me have you." She whispered, screwing her eyes shut when the hand that wasn't preoccupied with keeping her tight against his chest slid from the boulder to her knee and then under her red, satin skirt. His fingertips stopped short of where she desperately needed them and he cruelly stroked the flesh of her thigh until she told him what he wanted to hear.

"Use your words, sweet girl." He growled, nipping at her earlobe, which tore a sharp gasp from her throat and she wasn't sure that she would be able to speak when the tip of his thumb brushed ever so slightly against her throbbing clit through her matching, red, satin safety-shorts and her panties. She jumped under the minuscule touch and whined when she felt the smirk against her neck.

"Tell me or I'll assume you don't want anything and I'll leave you alone." He threatened her darkly, feeling his own need growing by the second, but he lived for seeing her like this since he'd dreamt of it for so long.

"No...no....please, fuck me." She squeaked when his teeth sank into the tender skin of her neck and he relented on his teasing. Expert fingers stroked through her dripping folds, making her cry out when they glided from her clit so he could slip a finger inside her.

"Fuck, so tight...so wet, you needy little thing." He growled into her ear and she was eternally grateful for the arm holding her tightly to his chest as she was sure that without it, his touch would make her knees give out. 

"Shit, Ray...please, need you." (y/n) whined again when another finger joined the other, both of them working against her drenched walls as he angled his thumb to rub circles on her clit. He watched every facial expression, every moan that fell from her lips and decided that he wanted to hear and see more. 

"Fuck, stand up." He panted, feeling her needily roll her hips against his straining cock to stop him from moving away. The iron grip that yanked her upwards told her that he didn't like her disobedience, but she couldn't help but desperately clench around nothing when he left her core to throb.

"No, no, no. Fuckin' need you." She panted, clawing at his chest when he spun her around and picked her up by the thighs so her legs would wrap around his waist. She wanted the damn suit off but since they were technically still on a mission, it was too dangerous. Perhaps that was what she liked, the thrill of the adventure that shot straight to her pussy.

"Shit--why'd you have to do this to me now? Couldn't fucking wait, could you?" He nearly spat when her head falls to the crook of his neck and her tongue dashes out to run a stripe down the side of it. His hands squeezed her thighs hard enough to leave a mark that would fade instantly as he felt her blazing heat press against his throbbing length and a war waged in his mind; take what he wanted in this godforsaken mineshaft or be cruel and leave her and himself to wait for rescue, whenever that came. Seeing his internal battle, (y/n) decided that she'd help nudge his mind to the immoral side she was craving and tangled her fingers in his hair so she whisper into his ear.

"I'm sorry, captain. I've just been thinking about you and your fucking huge cock since yesterday, wanted you to fuck me so hard last night, but you wouldn't." She smirked when he released a tortured, strangled moan and he decided that even if he could convince her to wait for another two hours, he'd couldn't, not when he knew of the slickness between her thighs.

"Shit--you need to shut up. You need to be quiet, right now." He stressed, craning his head down so he could bite and suck at the flesh through the material at the top of her breasts. He wouldn't be able to release them from her bodice and it was another small form of torture that drove him wild.

"Could've touched me in the Man Van or anything." She whispered, throwing her head back and saying whatever came to mind as his lips roamed her collarbone and smooth skin. Feeling him bite at whatever he could reach gave her the biggest confidence boost; here was this all-powerful superhero that resisted even the wickedest of torture from his enemies, but with a kiss and a soft touch from her and he melted. Strong steel that bent for only her touch. "I would've let you, you can do anything to me and I won't mind."

"Shit," A snarl tore from his lips and his hips jerked upwards unintentionally at the idea. She knew what she was doing and loved to see his reaction. It was the truth, she'd take anything he'd give her and love it, mostly because it was exactly what she needed to stop burning. "Shit--I...shut up or I won't last, sweet girl." He grumbled, hands now squeezing her thighs so tightly, it was starting to hurt.

"Then fuck me and it won't matter. Want you to spill in me, so fucking deep." She purred into his ear, causing him to stride over to a particularly large rock that would do for her to bend over. Getting the hint, she wiggled out of his hold and wobbly stood on two legs before her hips were seized and she was folded over the rock so her elbows were holding up her body and he could flick her skirt over her ass.

"If you're so desperate, then keep those hands there and let me give you what I think you deserve." He grumbled and pulled her shorts and underwear over the smooth curve of her ass so he could see her glistening slit. She heard the sound of his zipper being pulled down and shivered when he bent over her so his back was flush against hers.

"Come on, you want it. Beg." Ray ordered, curling an arm under her body so two fingers could rest on her throbbing clit, but he wouldn't move, not even when his cock twitched as it brushed through her folds.

"Please, I've been good, I waited. Please, just fuck me...Captain." She whimpered, feeling how he was deliberately running the bulbous head against her folds to drive her insane. It was sneaky and his way of drawing those sounds from her lips, but the way she said his damn title, it was too much for him.

"F-fucking perfect little g-girl." He groaned and slowly sunk into her dripping entrance, making her fingers grasp the edge of the boulder as her insides tightened around him like a vice. Fucking finally, she had him and it seemed like he was just as desperate to move. His teeth sank into her shoulder, just as he pulled his hips back, only to slam them back against her ass with a harsh thrust. Even if he was reluctant to fuck down in the shaft at first, she could tell he loved it now. He loved the way her back was arching into him, he loved the way her pussy gushed when he breathed into her neck, he loved how the skin was stretched so tightly across her knuckles, it was turning white. 

"Fuck, f-fuck, is this what you n-needed, sweet girl? Just a little attention and my cock deep in your f-fucking soaked pussy? Hmm? Come on, you dirty little thing, tell me." He growled, creating a rhythm that was soul-shattering. It really shouldn't have felt that good, not when they were two-hundred and fifty feet under the Earth and possibly on the brink of death. His cock pushed against that spot inside her that made her see stars and a wildfire spread through her belly and down her thighs. Fuck, he knew how to ruin her, so when the fingers waiting on her clit started to jerk wildly, it came as no surprise. 

"Ray---Ray, shit, I'm almost there." (y/n) cried, feeling the heat sear through her muscles and her hips began to rock backwards to meet his wild thrusts. So nearly there, just a little more...

"Fuck, come on, sweet girl, give it to me." He panted and choked when she gripped his entire length so fucking tight that he had to still his movements to catch his breath. Her body went limp as he carried her through the waves of pleasure, the pressure on her clit never stopping, even when she was left jelly-like and sensitive. 

"Ray..." She moaned, trying to jutter her hips away from him, but a strong arm was crossed against her chest and she was pulled back and up to her feet, where he could trap her in his hold and make her take anything he wanted to do to her.

"One more, I want to see you cum one more time." He ordered, resuming the snap of his pelvis against her ass and he had access to her throat when her head fell back against his shoulder. He jackhammered into her, drawing his name from her like a prayer, one hand fondling her satin-covered breast and keeping her tightly against him as the other kept circling her clit. It was so damn debilitating, all of her sanity was wrung out of her body as she hurtled towards another release,  him hard and throbbing deep inside her as he chased his end too.

"If you want me to fuck you wherever the fuck I like, then I will. Show all those fuckers that want to flirt with you that you're mine." God, she could barely hear him over her endless moans, wails, and whimpers, but she did and it stole her breath away. She could listen to him all day, how he didn't want anyone else to fuck her the way he did, to know her the way he did, to love her the way he did.

"Fuck---'M yours, always. No one else's, just want you." She promised, clutching at the hand on her chest so he could feel the thundering of her heart.

"Yeah, that's right, no one else will never know how you taste or feel, all fucking mine, my sweet fucking girl." His eyes squeezed shut as his heart swelled at the sentiment. The words he'd waited years to hear, the feeling he'd only dreamed of ever experiencing, the girl he could never have imagined would let him do such terrible things to her in the dark, she was his.

"God, gonna cum again, Ray...shit." (y/n) whispered, her voice high-pitched and breathless as she felt the knot in her stomach tighten, making her claw at the arm on her chest. Ray felt her quivering walls around him and knew that her release was seconds away, causing him to speed up his thrusts until they were sloppy and without rhythm, but also brutally fast. He crushed her to his chest as he felt his own end approaching, but he wanted to feel her collapse first.

"Yes, fuck--yes, wanna feel it. Let me feel this fucking wet pussy cum around me again, little girl, Fuck, so sweet for me." He goes on, chasing her towards and over the cliff with his filthy words and suddenly, the cavern went fuzzy and dark as the blood rushed through her ears, her walls gripping around him for him to follow her. 

His hips don't stop, even when she's left boneless and he's the only thing keeping her up straight. All that left her lips was garbled "Iloveyou-Iloveyou-Ilove--", but it spurred him on, knowing that he was the only one who got to see how fucking beautiful and perfect she was in a post-orgasmic haze.

"Shit, I'm gonna cum, sweet girl." Ray moaned and gasped as the feeling crept up his spine and he daren't stop, not for anything. (y/n) could feel him hot and swollen, moving faster and faster and she knew that there was nothing she wanted more.

"Please, give it to me, fucking want your cum inside me." She moaned, feeling her walls flutter again at the impropriety of it, but she didn't care. She wanted to feel him leaking out of her all day, leaving her ready for later tonight when they'd inevitably go again because they couldn't get enough of each other.

"My girl, so fucking pretty, letting me fuck her so good, shit--I--I love you...so much." He choked, hoarse and deep as his hips faltered and he spilt deep inside her, drying up his words and leaving nothing but pure love for her on his mind. He pants in ragged breaths and his tight hold on her relents, allowing them to drop to the boulder to rest.

"I love you too...always." She giggled, turning in his arms so they could stand properly and she could give him a sweet, gentle kiss, nothing like the intense, wild sex they just experienced. His hands dropped down to pull her panties and shorts up over her ass again, making her blush when he squeezed her asscheek with a large palm. He'd be fucking half-hard all evening knowing his cum was slowly dripping through her folds, but it just left him all the more eager for when they returned home.

~Thirty minutes later~

*NOT MATURE (sorry for the filth)*

Well, after their heart rates had settled down and they giggled from the absurdity of it all, Ray plonked down on a small boulder and invited his cute girl onto his thigh. It was then that she realised how truly filthy they both were and made a mental note that it would have to be shower sex first and then whatever else later once they returned to the Man Cave.

To fight off the boredom, Ray had whipped out his little tablet and entertained them by playing one of the latest mobile games from the PearStore. His arms encompassed her waist and she laughed at his excitable enthusiasm for winning the game. He was such a child deep down.

"My God, this game's entertaining." He commented, pressing a kiss into her hair as he flicked his thumb over the control. She adjusted her position and leaned back into his chest, content to just lie back and rest after being drained of all her energy. Still, even if she was happy, he was getting antsy again; sure, he loved having the time to plough into her savagely, but he couldn't help but wonder when help was arriving. They'd been sitting doing nothing for half an hour, plus another half for when they were preoccupied, seriously, where was Henry? 

"Hey, Schwoz?" He picked up the radio and tried to call the lazy guy, who had managed to track down Henry at his school, sneak him out of class and send him to the mineshaft all with Miss Shapen noticing or his help. He much preferred to kick back and relax in an empty hideout.

"Go for Schwoz." He replied, mainly focused on what was happening on the screen in front of him since it was a lot funnier than Ray when he was looking for a round two.

"What's going on man? We sealed the gas leak, we've been stuck down here for over an hour now." Ray complained, (y/n) slipping off his knee so he could pace around the cave in frustration. She had to admit that being trapped was annoying, if slightly perilous, but she was feeling so much better than when she first entered, that she didn't really want to complain.

"Henry didn't get there yet?" Schwoz questioned, sitting up in his seat as he heard the troubling news. Huh, he would've thought that the kid would have been tunnelling them out of the mineshaft around about now, so it was worrying to hear that he hadn't even reached them.

"No, he didn't get here yet. Why would I be calling you if he didn't get here---ahhh!" Ray's harsh tone was interrupted as he was shoved forward by a giant drill bit smashing through the stone wall that he was resting on. He fell to the ground, making (y/n) dash over to him to help him up, even though Captain Man was always okay. So, that was where Henry got to.

"Ray? (y/n)? You in here?" The boy poked his head through the hole he made and peered through the darkness. Shit, he couldn't see anything, especially since his boss and his girlfriend were crouched down.

"Schwoz, we'll call you back." (y/n) said into the phone as she plucked it from the floor, snapping it shut before he could respond. She offered a dainty hand for Ray to take and he accepted it greatly so she could help him stand. Kind, sweet girl...

"Oh, hey. How you doin'?" Henry greeted them warmly, not seeing how irritated his boss was from being stuck in a hole with no feather mattresses in sight. He had a king-size one at home, the place he was desperate to return to after such a long day.

"Pretty good for a guy who just had a Tyson drill shoved in his back." The large man grumbled, rubbing at the spot where he was jabbed, not that it hurt anymore. He just wanted some fawning from his favourite girl.

"Aw, my poor baby." She cooed and cupped his face so she could caress his lips with hers. He was so brave, protecting her from the fall, helping her out in a way that only he knew, loving her always.

"Oh, god, stop. He's indestructible!" Henry groaned at their mushiness, screwing up his face in disgust. Honestly, they were the worst, always kissing, always snuggling, always doing things that he'd rather not have to look at. Geez, they'd had an hour to themselves, wasn't that enough?

"I'm still a person, with feelings," Ray replied curtly, briefly pulling away from the kiss so he could send Henry a scathing look. He ran his hands absentmindedly up and down (y/n)'s waist, loving it when his touch made her press against him even more.

"You can say that again." She purred, smirking and biting her lip when his ears and cheeks burned red and Henry audibly gagged and pretended to barf. Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross...

"Ugh, can we get going?! 'Cause I don't want to hear or see this and I really need to get back to school." He grumbled, making the young step back from her boyfriend since she knew that there was a better place and time. Namely, their shower and in about twenty minutes if all went to plan.

"All right, cranky-pants, we're coming. Pull me through." She told the boy, poking out her tongue at him after he mocked how much she loved her boyfriend and all the things he did to her. She offered the boy her hands and Ray lifted her waist so she was able to slide through the hole and into the digger, but not before Ray subtly pinched her ass and caught sight of her sticky thighs. Jesus, get him home, now.

"Me next." He said and gave Henry his hands just like (y/n) did and his sidekicks yanked him as hard as they could. Trouble was, it was incredibly difficult for a young boy and a small woman to take the weight of six-foot of pure, rock-hard, super-dense muscle. That, and his utility belt kept catching on the lip of the rock, making him whine as they struggled to get him moving. 

"Whoa! Whoa! Ray, have you gained some weight?" Henry asked, swearing that his boss never felt this heavy when they trained together and he had to flip Ray over his back. He had to lay off the won-tons.

"Hey, are you calling my boyfriend fat? Pull harder on your side!" (y/n) scolded the boy indignantly, feeling extremely protective over Ray and how he looked. He was goofy, silly, loveable and sexy and she was certain that if he had gained weight, it was muscle mass, not that it would make her love him even less.

"I think you gained weight." Henry disparaged, sneakily using Ray's famous temper to get him to wriggle through the gap even further. Ray would surely try to strangle him once he was in the digger, but at least they would have gotten him there.

"You take that back! I eat less than two thousand calories a day!" The superhero snapped, kicking his legs out like he was swimming in hopes of making it through. Being stuck so foolishly did make him feel a little chubby and Henry's goading wasn't helping. "Just suck it in!"

"Piss off, Henry!" (y/n) snapped, grabbing Ray's elbow and putting her heeled boot on the wall so she could it as leverage.

"God, this is so embarrassing," Ray grumbled, trying to his hips past the halfway mark, but they wouldn't budge. He just needed some encouragement, not putting down.

"Make it through and I'll give you a kiss, captain." (y/n) lowered her lips to his ear and instantly, he was forcibly jumping forward like a worm and with another harsh pull, he slid forward, landing in a heap in the ventilator shaft, on top of Henry as it were. 

"Oh, that hurt so bad." He grumbled, feeling his arms hurt as Ray pressed on them to get up. Why was he always the one took the bruises and pain? 

"Karma's a bitch." (y/n) deadpanned, pulling her boyfriend to her body to give him what he'd promised her.

~Swellview High~

So, they'd made it to Henry's school and things were all set for him to sneak back into class, disable this weird hologram of him that Schwoz had used to dupe the teacher and hand in his test like nothing had happened. There was a. catch though, of course, there was.

Sharona Shapen, the weirdest teacher in the school and the most desperate for the large cash bonus the good grades were gonna get her, was still prowling around the classroom and had caught onto fake Henry sitting and scribbling on his paper without listening. Time was up and every other kid had handed in their test paper (fully copied from Charlotte since she was a genius and Miss Shapen was turning a blind eye), meaning that hologram Henry sitting there blankly was starting to look real weird.

"You guys! You need to do something about Henry and Miss Shapen!" Charlotte hissed to Ray and (y/n), both of whom were still in uniform, plus Henry who was casually strolling through the halls like nothing was wrong. Thank god most of the kids had gone home by now or were still stuck in a late class, otherwise, their stealthiness would be in vain. 

"How? We need to get in there and distract her so I can turn off the hologram." Henry panicked, peering through the glass panel in the door and seeing how close his teacher was to sticking her fingers through his face and revealing the secret. 

"It has to be big! And something that will completely ruin her mind!" Jasper noted, trying to come up with everything Sharona Shapen liked, which stretched to cats and her freakishly large toe.

"Chicken?" Ray suggested, recalling that poor bird she'd annihilated on Valentine's Day when he'd been forced onto a date with her. Maybe he could dangle a chicken wing in front of her face and lure her away just enough for them to pull it off.

"Dude, where are we gonna get a chicken from?" Henry asked rhetorically, making Ray pipe down. Okay, chicken and any other food was a no-go, so what else did Miss Shapen dream of at night?

"Kiss her." (y/n) suddenly said in a grim voice, her eyes closed as she accepted that it was what they were gonna have to do. She idolised her boyfriend and fancied just as much as all the other women in Swellview did, meaning that a smooch from him would probably make her pass out long enough for them to swipe the hologram and test.

"What?" Ray, Henry, Charlotte and Jasper gasped and looked at her like she was crazy. First of all, that was their teacher, second of all, it wasn't just any teacher, it was Miss Shapen, third of all, Ray would never betray her like that, fourth of all, he repulsed the woman and so on and so on. There were a million reasons why that was crazy talk, but (y/n) just calmly breathed in and out.

"Look, a kiss from Captain Man will wipe her mind blank, meaning Henry can hand in his test with no problems." She explained, resting her hands on Ray's chest as his eyes bore into hers. Kiss someone else? He'd rather die, no one else would compare, especially not that old hag.

"Sweet girl, I can't kiss another woman, we'll think of something else. I love you and only you." He murmured, wrapping his hands around her wrists so he could bring one to his lips and kiss her gently thrumming pulse point. There had to be another way, one that didn't involve him breaking his endless faith and fidelity to her. He wasn't that guy anymore, he'd found his one and he didn't need nor want a bit of something on the side, she was everything he had ever dreamed of having.

"I know you do, but..." She started, sighing when she didn't know how to word it. She hated the idea of him kissing someone else, she loathed it even if it wasn't real and with Sharona, but she could overlook it just once if it was for an exceptionally good reason. "Look, I'm giving you permission this one time to march in there, look at her like you look at me and kiss her like you you mean it, so we can save Henry's butt." She said, giving him her sincerest gaze.

"How am I supposed to kiss her like she's you when she's not you? It's Miss Shapen, for god's sake." He groaned, pouting slightly at the idea of having to put his mouth on hers and pretend he was tasting honey. 

"Just imagine it. And when we get home..." She gestured for the kids to plug their ears and she leaned up to whisper against his neck. "You can fuck me again and again until I can't walk." 

"Fine." He agreed through gritted teeth and kissed his cheek in thanks. He fucking loved the sound of that and if he had to kiss that in the classroom to earn it, he would. 

"Kid, get ready to sneak in. I've got a Miss Shapen to kiss." He growled dramatically, tensing up his body like a true superhero. Henry nodded in understanding and stood next to the door so he could hear and look out for his cue. 

"Henry!!!" They could hear the teacher scream at the hologram inside and they knew that they had to act quickly.

Taking a deep breath and giving (y/n) one final peck, Ray yanked open the classroom door and boldly stood in the gap so she could admire his sudden entrance with awe. 'Just pretend she's (y/n), just pretend she's (y/n)' was all that was running through his mind.

"You." He greeted her in a tone that left his girl weak at the knees and if he squinted very hard and used the best of his imagination, she almost looked like (y/n). Almost.

"Captain Man!" She gasped at his sudden appearance. Oh my, he looked so handsome, better than she could ever have imagined and she was certain that this was a dream. The hero stormed over to her with a "hungry" look in his eyes, making her go breathless and weak at the knee. Sweet cheese, this wasn't happening; Captain Man seized Miss Shapen and dipped her in his embrace, leaning over her with a nauseous expression that he masked well. He just had to think of tonight and how his real love would be screaming his name.

"Do you consent to this kiss?" He asked in a tight, reluctant voice and cursed inwardly when her smile grew ten-fold. Well, that was a stupid question, of course, she wanted to snog Swellview's greatest hero.

"Sure, you want it in writing?" She joked, her eyes widening when he took the plunge and pressed his lips against hers. Dear, sweet lord, this was genuinely going to make him vomit. He'd kissed many people in his life and none of them but one truly gave him butterflies. Sharona Shapen was not that one; she killed the butterflies, burnt them, stamped on them, tore them apart. Her hands were roaming his back wildly and (y/n) looked in to see the abhorrent sight. 

"Go before I puke." She told Henry and the boy quietly tiptoed into the room. He too was disgusted by the sight of Ray kissing his teacher, mainly because she was a terrible kisser and not the one he'd fought so hard to set him up with. Ray kissing anyone but (y/n) would always look wrong, those two were made for each other.

He disabled the hologram, chucked it into his backpack and slid onto his chair, resuming the same position that it had been portraying; a pencil in his hand and a calm look on his face. Dear god, Miss Shapen giggling into the kiss was going to haunt his nightmares for weeks to come.

Okay, good. Henry was here, he was in the right place and just in the nick of time, which meant that for Ray, his work was over.

"Wait. Wrong woman." He said, suddenly pulling back and dropping Miss Shapen on the floor. His mouth tasted revolting and he made a quick exit for the door before she could claw him back for more.

"Let's get out of here." He mumbled, grabbing (y/n)'s wrist and pulling her through the halls rapidly. Charlotte and Jasper had already left and Henry could sort himself out, he just needed to leave and get home. 

"You're so brushing your teeth before you can kiss me again. I don't want to taste Sharona too." She chuckled, waggling her finger at him as his eyes darkened at the thought of kissing her. The right person.

"And then I get to fuck you?" He asked with hopeful eyes, glancing across to see her smirk and run her fingers through her hair like the seductive vixen she was.

"Until I can't walk." She promised, giggling when his legs started to work faster until they were practically running through the empty school corridors. Well, all's well that ends well, Henry had handed his test in without a hitch, Miss Shapen got to experience what a real relationship looked like and boy, Ray couldn't wait to get home.

#ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #captain man x reader #reader insert #danger force #x reader #henry danger #chapa de silva #dangerverse #fanfiction #captain man #captain man smut #ray manchester smut #ray manchester fanfiction #x ray #reader fic #female reader #cross posted on wattpad #cross posted on ao3 #long post #henry danger smut #danger force season 3 #kid danger #friends to lovers #tv shows #fluff #smut #smutty fanfiction #eventual smut #smutty smut smut

[depressingpigeon]

a list of SXSW artists to sort through for my own reference

Ace Tee (Hamburg GERMANY) Aero Flynn (Minneapolis MN) Altre di B (Bologna ITALY) Antytila (Kyiv UKRAINE) Aries (Bilbao SPAIN) Automelodi (Montreal CANADA) Avatar Darko (Seattle WA) Bad Moves (Washington DC) Bad Pony (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Alice Bag (Los Angeles CA) Lee Bains III + The Glory Fires (Birmingham AL) Bajaga and Instruktori (Belgrade SERBIA) Baywaves (Madrid SPAIN) Benin City (London UK-ENGLAND) Dan Bettridge (Bridgend UK-WALES) The Bishops (Austin TX) Blackberries (Solingen GERMANY) Blood Wine or Honey (Hong Kong CHINA) Boogat (Montreal CANADA) Moses Boyd Solo Exodus (London UK-ENGLAND) Brightness (Newcastle AUSTRALIA) The Britanys (New York NY) Abraham Brody (Vilnius LITHUANIA) Marla Brown (London UK-ENGLAND) Buddy (Compton CA) C-Kan (Guadalajara MEXICO) Dylan Cameron (Austin TX) Fabrizio Cammarata (Palermo ITALY) Cape Francis (Brooklyn NY) Castlecomer (Sydney AUSTRALIA) ChihiroYamazaki+ROUTE14band (Tokyo JAPAN) CIFIKA (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Cilantro Boombox (Austin TX) Cirkus Funk (Cali COLOMBIA) C.Macleod (Stornoway UK-SCOTLAND) Kelvyn Colt (Bingen GERMANY) Coma Pony (Chihuahua MEXICO) Crumb (Brooklyn NY) Cursed Earth (Perth AUSTRALIA) Curved Light (Austin TX) Cut Worms (Brooklyn NY) Mikaela Davis (Rochester NY) Jarv Dee (Seattle WA) Helena Deland (Montreal CANADA) Deluxe (Aix-En-Provence FRANCE) Dirgahayu (Kuala Lumpur MALAYSIA) Stella Donnelly (Fremantle AUSTRALIA) Keelan Donovan (Portland ME) Joey Dosik (Los Angeles CA) Draper (London UK-ENGLAND) DYGL (Tokyo JAPAN) El Otro Borges (Buenos Aires ARGENTINA) El Otro Grupo (Santa Marta COLOMBIA) Farina (Medellin COLOMBIA) Fatai (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) FAVX (Madrid SPAIN) Charlie Faye & The Fayettes (Austin TX) Ruby Fields (Cronulla AUSTRALIA) Fis and Rob Thorne (Palmerston North NEW ZEALAND) The Fish Police (London UK-ENGLAND) Flyte (London UK-ENGLAND) The Foreign Resort (Copenhagen DENMARK) Forever (Montreal CANADA) FOXTRAX (New York NY) Francobollo (London UK-ENGLAND) Freedom Hawk (Virginia Beach VA) Fuglar (Santiago CHILE) GANGES (Madrid SPAIN) Gang of Youths (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Nubya Garcia (London UK-ENGLAND) Samantha Glass (Madison WI) William Harries Graham (Austin TX) Grand Analog (Toronto CANADA) Grandchildren (Philadelphia PA) Greenbeard (Austin TX) Grim Streaker (Brooklyn NY) Grupo Rebolu (Colombia NY) Gulfer (Montreal CANADA) Gurr (Berlin GERMANY) Sinead Harnett (London UK-ENGLAND) Hatchie (Brisbane AUSTRALIA) Hater (Malmo SWEDEN) Ashley Henry Trio (London UK-ENGLAND) Higher Brothers (Chengdu CHINA) The Homesick (Dokkum NETHERLANDS) Honduras (Brooklyn NY) Warren Hood (Austin TX) Husky Loops (London UK-ENGLAND) HUXLEE (Los Angeles CA) IAMDDB (Manchester UK-ENGLAND) Izzy True (Trumansburg NY) Jade Imagine (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Joji (Tokyo JAPAN) JP The Wavy (Tokyo JAPAN) Keith Ape (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Sarah Klang (Gothenburg SWEDEN) La Banda Morisca (Andalucía SPAIN) Manu Lanvin (Lyon FRANCE) Leather Girls (Austin TX) Luna Lee (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Lethal Bizzle (London UK-ENGLAND) Benji Lewis (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Dean Lewis (Sydney AUSTRALIA) LNG/SHT (Cancun MEXICO) Los Wilds (Madrid SPAIN) Lolo Lovina (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Luneta Mágica (Manaus BRAZIL) The Magnettes (Pajala SWEDEN) Manatee Commune (Seattle WA) Mannequin Pussy (Philadelphia PA) Maréh (Cali COLOMBIA) MARLENE (Stockholm SWEDEN) Anna McClellan (Brooklyn NY) MC Lars (Berkeley CA) Melo Makes Music (Chicago IL) Milk & Bone (Montreal CANADA) Miqui Brightside (DJset) (Madrid SPAIN) Mogli (Hamburg GERMANY) Mothership (Dallas TX) Museless (Barcelona SPAIN) My Life as Ali Thomas (Bangkok THAILAND) Hans Nayna (Mahebourg MAURITIUS) Night Beats (Austin TX) Not3s (Hackney UK-ENGLAND) No Vacation (San Francisco CA) October (Auckland NEW ZEALAND) Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (Chicago IL) Okey Dokey (Nashville TN) ONR (Glasgow UK-SCOTLAND) The Orielles (Halifax UK-ENGLAND) Our Girl (London UK-ENGLAND) The Outer Vibe (Nashville TN) The Outfit, TX (Dallas TX) Jay Park (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Partner (Windsor CANADA) Peach Pit (Vancouver CANADA) Sloan Peterson (Sydney AUSTRALIA) pH-1 (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Phe Reds (Seattle WA) Sara Pi (Barcelona SPAIN) Plastic Picnic (Brooklyn NY) pronoun (Brooklyn NY) Punjabtronix (Bristol UK-ENGLAND) Oliver Rajamani (Austin TX) David Ramirez (Austin TX) Rancho Aparte (Quibdó COLOMBIA) Ratboys (Chicago IL) Gemma Ray (Berlin GERMANY) Lou Rebecca (Paris FRANCE) *repeat repeat (Nashville TN) Jess Ribeiro (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Rich Chigga (Jakarta INDONESIA) R.LUM.R. (Nashville TN) Lucy Rose (London UK-ENGLAND) Rude Kid (London UK-ENGLAND) RVG (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Salem’s Bend (Los Angeles CA) Sammus (Ithaca NY) sarasara (Lille FRANCE) Sassy 009 (Oslo NORWAY) Say Sue Me (Busan SOUTH KOREA) Ed Schrader’s Music Beat (Baltimore MD) Shamir (Las Vegas NV) Shopping (London UK-ENGLAND) Sik-k (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Silibrina (São Paulo BRAZIL) Raz Simone (Seattle WA) Smut (Cincinnati OH) Snail Mail (Baltimore MD) Sonars (Bergamo ITALY) SPORTS (Philadelphia PA) SsingSsing (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Steak (London UK-ENGLAND) Stefflon Don (London UK-ENGLAND) Stonefield (Macedon Ranges AUSTRALIA) Sturle Dagsland (Stavanger NORWAY) Sun Seeker (Nashville TN) Surfbort (Brooklyn NY) Surma (Leiria PORTUGAL) Talisco (Paris FRANCE) Tennis System (Los Angeles CA) Terry vs. Tori (Seville SPAIN) Theodore (Athens GREECE) TiKA (Toronto CANADA) Adam Torres (Austin TX) Totally Mild (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Touts (Derry UK-N. IRELAND) Uni (New York NY) Us and Us Only (Baltimore MD) Dhruv Visvanath (New Delhi INDIA) VOWWS (Los Angeles CA) Voyager (Perth AUSTRALIA) VVV (Austin TX) Warbly Jets (Los Angeles CA) The Watchers (San Francisco CA) The Weather Station (Toronto CANADA) The Wedding Present (Leeds UK-ENGLAND) Jerry Williams (Portsmouth UK-ENGLAND) Marlon Williams (Christchurch NEW ZEALAND) Wo Fat (Dallas TX) Woodie GoChild (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) “World Music Unleashed” by SIPM (Austin TX) Yemen Blues (Tel Aviv ISRAEL) Yultron (Los Angeles CA) Yungen (London UK-ENGLAND) The Zephyr Bones (Barcelona SPAIN) Violetta Zironi (Reggio Emilia ITALY)

#reference

[girlwsoftsound]

A Model of Beauty || George Daniel Oneshot

Word Count: 1,893 Warnings: Smut & oodles of fluff. Summary: You are insecure & self-conscious of your body, which has led you to shy away from sex with George. Tired of keeping this hidden, you are ready to admit your fears and let George prove Author’s Note: Hope you guys like this little piece, it was really sweet to write <3 Also, be sure to throw in a like or comment if you liked it! I love seeing feedback from you all. Please feel free to read my other work here! Enjoy!  

You had always felt slightly insecure.

It was not like you were not beautiful. Curves were nothing to be ashamed of, and in all honesty you rocked them better than most. But, you saw the kinds of girls the boys were accustomed to. Sure, they were all lovely girls, but one thing stood true about them: they were all skinnier than you. Even though they all told you how beautiful you were, your mind heard their words as a lie. How could you compare to girls who, legitimately, came straight out of a magazine?

To say the whole situation inhibited your life was far from a stretch. Dating George Daniel, the more rustic and conventionally hot of the foursome from Manchester, should have brought you tons of fun. It did, but not in the way people would think. You loved everything about George, and you cherished the time you spent at his side. But, you found yourself unable to make love with George. You told him it was because you were old fashioned and wanted to take things slow, which the precious boy took understandingly and respectfully like a gentleman, but it was all a lie. You had gone much faster with guys in the past, some even on the first date. In reality, you were terrified that he would see you, naked and vulnerable before his eyes, and leave in disgust. The last thing you wanted was to scare him away. The fear was strong enough that you kept up your old fashioned nature as long as you could.

The issue was, things between you and George were heating up, and fast. Two months after confessing your love for each other, and nearly a year and a half after agreeing to be a couple, you both could feel the need for more. George would try to drop subtle hints about it, though nothing was subtle about the boy. He would lay down in the bed in only his boxer briefs, ushering you to join him at his side and kissing you sweetly to try and coax you into a mood. He dropped words here and there of you being gorgeous, and how he could not wait to finally make you feel as on top of the world as he did when he caught sight of you. Those words and hints should have made you feel comfortable that he wouldn’t leave, that he was ready to see you and love you fully, but they didn’t. You remained worried and afraid, distant and reluctant. George would never let it show because of his love for you, but it bothered him. You knew it did. It ate at you all the time.

One day, you could not take the crushing feeling anymore. You were tired of feeling like you were holding your relationship back, and you were tired of lying to George. Tears falling down your face out of fear and hands clammy, you marched yourself into the bedroom where George lay, boxer briefs and all, and sat at his feet. Concern was all over his features. You knew he hated seeing you upset, but you had to let it out. You were tired of hiding. Finding your voice, you spoke up.

“I’m afraid,” you said, soft and vulnerable, “that if we have sex, you’re not going to be happy with what you see.”

“Wha-”

You put a finger to his lips. “I’m not perfect. I’m not super thin, I don’t have flawless skin, I’m not firm in the arms or legs or anything really. I’m so different to what you’ve had in the past, and just...I don’t want to disappoint you. I feel like I would. That’s why I haven’t been accepting any of your advances. I’m so worried I won’t be what you want, what you need-”

It was George’s turn to silence you. His lips took to yours, capturing your fears and taking them away as they moved against you. He pulled away while taking away the tears from your cheeks. “I could never be disappointed in you that way, {Y/N}. Sure, you are not like my exes, but...there’s a reason they are my exes and you are here, love. They weren’t what I needed. They weren’t the same type of beautiful, inside and out, that you are. God, I get chills seeing you sometimes. You are fucking beautiful to me. I promise you, I would never see you as anything but that way.”

“You sure?”

Leaning in for another kiss, George nodded. “Positive.”

He moved forward and brought your lips back on his, his hand moving to your cheek to keep you from distancing yourself. Butterflies made their way to your stomach as you moved against him. Your heart raced at his touch, his hands moving carefully to your hips and holding you there. Though he seemed still willing and excited to explore you, you still feared the worst. You feared him pulling away, not finding your hips slim enough, or your tummy toned to his liking. But, his hands went there anyway. He moved his hands beneath your shirt, rubbing and touching and eventually kneading at your breasts. The feeling, you had to admit, was magical. It was everything you had hoped it would feel like, and more. It just made you worried that it was all too perfect, that George would snap at any second. Pulling away, he seemed to have noticed.

“Relax,” he whispered, inches from your lips and still close enough for his breath to hit against you. “I love you, so much. You’re so beautiful.”

He moved right along after initiating the next kiss. Slowly but surely, George worked off your shirt from your body, and your bra shortly after. You blushed, embarrassed, worried under his gaze, but were met with his eyes scanning you with not fear, but pure awe. His lips drove away from your mouth, marking their journey along from your neck to your chest and eventually your abdomen. He had you laying down, in the perfect position to really be appreciated by his mouth and eyes. He found you so gorgeous, looking up at him innocently and longingly like you did with each kiss. He wanted to bring you to a point where your fears were not nearly anything worthy of thinking about.

You shifted awkwardly when George brought you fully naked, save for your underwear. You never had been this open before anyone, especially not someone as gorgeous as George. Worry fell back through you like a dam breaking, making your anxiety rise. George noticed it as your eyes fell from him, and moved fast to kiss you.

“Trust me,” he whispered, one of his big hands carefully sliding down the fabric. “Trust that I love you so much and will make you feel so good. You are beautiful. I swear to you, you are beautiful.” Your underwear met your feet, leaving you to toss them to the side as George gazed you over. Your feet seemed to shake as his eyes roamed over you. This was it - meeting your biggest fear. You were fully exposed to him, curves and marks in all. Bursting through your cloud of nerves, George’s smile appeared like a ray of sunshine. He leaned in and kissed at your core, making you gasp.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

He left you no chance to respond or question him, his mouth going to your core and making swift work of pleasuring you. He felt like heaven against you, his tongue working your clit and making the body you had been so nervous to share heat up in the most pleasant of ways. He grabbed a leg in each of his hands and brought them up to rest over his shoulders, bringing you close and heightening the feelings even more. It was truly as if he were trying to drown out the fear with pleasure, and it was working. You found yourself gasping up against George, and later nearly screaming when he added a finger and began to work against you as well. He had such a way with his fingers. Truly, you were lucky to have him.

“So good,” he whispered, pulling back to breathe and re-wet his fingers. “You are so good, so beautiful. My own personal model of beauty. I’m so thankful you trust me. So thankful.”

Thankful became the trend. After adding another finger and working you for a while more, George entered you and brought incoherent mumbles from your mouth. Pushing, thrusting, keeping you just as close as before - he never stopped telling you how thankful he was for you in his life, and for the way you moved against him, and for how pretty you were when you gasped his name. He did not let you go a minute of this intimate act thinking that you were anything less than the world to him. He refused to let those negative thoughts clog up this memory, this dream-scenario. He would never let you think poorly of yourself again.

Minutes of intense gazes, shifted positions, and moans quickly came to a head, featuring you moaning at the feeling of George deep inside you, and George grunting with each push forward. His hand was on your clit, bringing you to where he was, building a pace he knew you couldn’t escape. This was it, the last time you would possibly feel self-conscious before him in this act. You feared you would orgasm and look ugly, ruining the moment for him. It was silly, sure, but you feared it nevertheless. The thought kept you from giving in, pained whines leaving you. George grunted and grabbed you by the hair roughly to put your lips against his.

“Cum for me,” he begged, his own thrusts starting to lose their timing and regularity. “Please babe, I’m so close. N-Need to see you, please beautiful. Please.”

You could not resist him, or his fingers working hurriedly against you. A little bit more of his work, and you came whether you looked good or not, shaking and moaning George’s name in the process. You had a split-second notion to open your eyes as soon as you could, even only a little, to see George’s reaction. What you got was better than any gift you could’ve received. You watched George’s eyes fill with lust before rolling back and shutting tight at the feeling of his own orgasm hitting. He stuttered against you, a loud groan melodically filling the air between you as each wave came and went. It made your fluttering heart beat ever so faster in your chest. When he looked to be able to breathe again, you brought him down for a kiss.

“Thank you,” you whispered, tear-filled eyes gazing into bliss-filled ones. “Thank you for making me feel good and helping me through that. I love you so much.”

He smiled against you. “Thank you for trusting me enough to help. I love you so much, {Y/N}. And I always will, no matter what you choose to look like. You’ll always be beautiful to me.”

And with that, the two of you settled and let post-sex slumber overtake you. More thank yous could come after some sleep in his arms. You wanted nothing more than to be able to rest knowing you had nothing to fear anymore.

#george daniel #george daniel fanfiction #George Daniel Imagine #George Daniel preference #the 1975 fanfiction #The 1975 fic #The 1975 imagine #The 1975 #The 1975 Oneshot #The 1975 writing #George Daniel oneshot #George Daniel writing #oneshot #A Model of Beauty

[theanxiousteenager1121]

My take on Fandometrics this week

Again, I only talk about the stuff that I know about, so let’s get started. 

SHIPS 3. Malec (Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood) honestly a cool ship and I think its cute but idk how its just stayed solid at number 3 for that long. If it’s still number 3 next week we may have to have a rant.                                                  

15. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel) I’m glad it went up two spots. Destiel is amazing, although I’m not as crazy a shipper as some, but I’m really anticipating season 13 and what it shall bring and I can tell y’all are too. 

18. Drarry (Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter) thank god it went down four spots. I guess this ship could be ok but I just don’t get it people. Who even thought of this like it’s just strange. I’ll be fair, if I read some good headcanons/fanfiction I might be ok with it but I guess I’m just neutral. 

20. Reylo (Rey and Kylo Ren) Ok, and I thought Drarry was weird. Actually, I take that back. It would be awesome if Rey and Ren fell in love, although their names are basically the same, and then Ren could rediscover what love is and join the good side again, I think that would be great and a good original plot twist. But then, we don’t know whether Rey and Ren are siblings, so there’s that. Yeah, I ship it, but under the right circumstances. 

TV SHOWS 4. Shadowhunters. Idk why this is number 4. Actually I don’t get why Shadowhunters is so popular. I think it’s good, I’ve read it and watched some of the show, I just think its overrated. Just saying. 

10. Supernatural. Ok I love Supernatural, I think it’s amazing and should be a bit higher on the list, but I get that season 13 isn’t coming out for a while and those of us without cable won’t be able to watch it till June, so hype isn’t strong. I also think that, though Supernatural has great actors, great plot, great music, and an awesome fanbase, it is a bit overrated as well. I love it, but it’s slightly overrated. 

Note: GUYS WHERE TF IS STRANGER THINGS? I STARTED WATCHING THAT SHOW, I LOVE IT, AND SEASON 2 IS COMING OUT SOON! WHERE’S THE HYPE PEOPLE???

MOVIES

6. Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi. YES I AM SO EXCITED. I get that it’s not coming out till December OF NEXT YEAR but the trailer is out and hype is coming up. Im just pissed that its NEXT DECEMBER

11. Zootopia. Okay, I think 11 is a fair place for this, but Zootopia was one of those movies that was good but everyone just went waaaaaaaaay overboard with shipping characters and writing smut and fanfiction and yeah its a kids movie so. Also there’s like different kinds of animals being shipped together which seems strange but it was a good movie so it deserves its place. 

14. Moana. I get that hype has died down since the movie came out last November but I think if Zootopia gets number 11 then Moana should be at least number 9. It’s a great movie with amazing music (go Lin my boy), extremely talented cast, and defying so many Disney stereotypes. There isn’t much shipping to be done as Moana and Maui would just be wrong together, but it’s still an astounding movie with the best music. 

CELEBRITIES

1. Tom Holland. He’s cute. And he has a frog in his mouth. Your place on the Fandometrics scale is well-deserved, Tom. 

3. Kylie Jenner. Really? Moving up 15 spots? Honestly I know people like the Kardashians and stuff but I really don't, I think the reality show is really shallow and just kind of a group of spoiled teenagers/adults being filmed whining or crashing cars or overreacting and stuff. I think it’s dumb. But you know if some of them do good charity work or something I may let it go. 

5. Chris Pratt. Damn he moved up fast, he wasn't even on the list last week and now he’s number 5. He is a beautiful man and talented actor, and though it may sound weird I think so far one of his best works is Parks and Rec. He is so damn funny and cute like AAAA

15. Jensen Ackles. This is good but UM WHERE IS MISHA? OR JARED? Gishwhes just happened, I feel like Misha would get at least some recognition. And to boot Jensen moved down one space. I’m disappointed, you guys. Supernatural may be a bit overrated but the actors definitely are not, they are kind and amazing people. 

16. Jennifer Lawrence. It’s her birthday today so, and I also love Jennifer I think she is so cool and funny and lit asf. I like how she is not ashamed to talk about flaws she has with her body and stuff, and her bad habits and insecurities, which a lot of famous girls don’t do. Makes a lot of us feel better about our own flaws. 

MUSICAL ACTS 1. Harry Styles. I don’t listen to him but I really don’t know why he’s number 1. I’ve heard his music and there is way better artists out there.

4. Taylor Swift. I like her music, it’s chill, but I really wasn’t sure why she moved up so fast. Turns out, she’s working on a new album. Makes sense. 

5. Fifth Harmony. Some of their songs are good. Great singers, and the acapella kind of stuff is really cool. They are talented, but their music is kind of neutral in my eyes. 

6. Shawn Mendes. I think he’s really talented, great singer, and cute. His music is bomb too. 6 seems like the place for him, I agree. 

12. Justin Bieber. Okay, I’ll admit, he is kind of cute and some of his songs are good, but his personality kind of puts me off. I jam to Despacito and I think it’s cool that he did a song in Spanish but that song gets annoying fast. Meh, 12 is a good place for him right now. 

14. Twenty One Pilots. I will never know why they say Twenty One and not just 21. Their lyrics are really different and I relate to them a lot of the time (I’ve been thinking too much, help me) their beats are lit and I think they are really cool, talented and original artists. 

17. Ariana Grande. Some of her old songs, yes, I jam to them. Her new songs I’m sure are good but I’m just not really into them. How she reacted to the Manchester event was appropriate and I have respect for her. 

20. Fall Out Boy. I’m not sure. All I know is their cover of the Ghostbusters theme song was not my thing. Ray Parker Jr. forever. 

That brings this post to a close. Also, I think Tumblr Fandometrics should do a Musical Theater/Broadway Actors page. What do you think? Idk how to ask them, but if enough of you petition for it I think we could do it. 

#fandometrics #my take

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 7: Return Of The Kid

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

The kids had never seen her move so quick. 

Seriously, (y/n) was like a cheetah. Or whippet. Or rocket. Or anything else that could cross the Man's Nest floor in the blink of an eye, becoming nothing but a blur as she flung herself at Henry Hart. 

The Henry Hart. In the flesh. All fuzzy-haired, slightly scruffy, and lanky, but he was there. He was real--for the first time in weeks. And she squealed right in his ear as she pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. 

The poor kid barely had time to react before his arms were pinned and chest crushed, laughing breathlessly as she squeezed his torso. Was it her, or had he gotten taller? Perhaps it was her imagination, but she barely peaked above his shoulders, and he felt skinnier, too. 

Remind her to cook him something good, however long he stayed. 

But, to Henry's happiness and possible regret, she wasn't the only one who wanted to latch on and never let go. Ray lumbered up behind his sweet girl, throwing those humongous tree trunks around her and his old friend to pull both of them against him. 

Okay, now, neither of them could breathe, not that (y/n) cared. Oxygen meant nothing when she had her doofus and her precious baby under one roof. Nothing could ruin her mood, laughing and holding them without ever wanting to leave their little human sandwich. How sweet. 

"My baby!" She cried, reaching up to stroke Henry's cheek as Ray rocked them back and forth. Maybe it was a bit of an overreaction, but they missed him. At least he'd come home in one piece. 

"Ah, welcome back, buddy!" Ray sighed, too, thinking a hug had never felt so good as the boy patted his old boss awkwardly on the back. It was getting harder to breathe. 

"Yeah..." he replied tightly, returning the pets to (y/n) 's head, who at least had stopped deafening him with her screeching. "Kinda tight there, guys..."

"Oh, Hen, we've missed you so much!" The heroine said with a beaming grin, pulling back to cup his cheek, studying his face. Despite his boyish smile, He looked more gaunt and drawn around his cheeks. "You look like you need some cookies! And pie! You said you wanted pie!"

"That was, like, two months ago, (y/n/n)--and oh, I think I heard a rib crack..." the boy groaned when Ray squeezed them again, ignorant of his heroic strength as he nuzzled past her hair to rest his forehead against him. Seriously...five years of friendship, and he'd never been this touchy.

"Oh, my baby..." But at least she was as thoughtful as ever, pulling back to give him a little space, slipping out from between them. Finally, he could breathe a little, flashing his not-sister a thankful smile, only for Ray to close the gap.

While (y/n) merely stood back and sighed at the image he made as one would admire a beautiful, majestic painting, the man refused to let go, hugging him even harder now that he didn't have to worry about smothering his sweet girl. By God, he'd missed this kid...

"It's gonna be more than one by the time I'm done with you!"

"Doofus, remember what we said about personal space?" (y/n) winced when her husband squeezed Henry's waist - kinda like a reverse Heimlich manoeuvre, only he was the reason for the boy's choked gasps. 

Like a snapping turtle, he refused to let go, so she had no choice but to get the others involved, signalling for Danger Force to circle the two. They tried to prise the doofus off, tugging at those beefy arms as the poor kid struggled, but Ray was relentless, even when his beloved wife wrapped her arms around his shoulders and yanked. 

"Do not make me get the crowbar!" Chapa growled as she took the opposite arm to Mika, trying to give Hen a little wiggle room.

"It's so nice to see a dude hug another dude..." 

"Right?! Bring it in, man!" Miles sighed dreamily, and Bose nodded, pulling his friend into a tight hug with a huge grin, patting each other's back amicably. It was sweet and not life-threatening like Ray's, who wouldn't budge despite the girls' best efforts. Their attempts were useless, but luckily, old Kid Danger had a trick up his sleeve. 

"It's okay--it's okay..." he panted, giving his old friends a reassuring smile, even as the hero nuzzled into his chest. "I got this, but you might wanna stand back."

Whilst she was a little confused, (y/n) nodded and guided Mika and Chapa to a safe distance beside the boys, leaving her lanky baby with enough room to push the hero away. The kids cried in amazement when a green force field burst from the young man's body, creating a barrier between him and Ray and sending the idiot flying backwards. 

That was one way to get personal space. 

"Hah! You hate to see it!" Miles cackled when he watched the dazed superhero land on his butt, clearly having forgotten about the gift his old sidekick received from the Omega Weapon. His force fields were the only reason why (y/n) allowed him to wander off to Dystopia alone. 

Still, the kid had the good grace to offer a hand and help his old boss to his feet, holding nothing against him when Ray flashed a nervous smile. 

"Sorry....got a little emotional there," he said awkwardly, straightening his jacket as his pretty girl wandered over and excitedly took his hand. She needed its anchoring weight - anything to remind her this wasn't a dream. 

"Just, you know, you've been gone a long time, and... we've been so alone."

"Speak for yourself, Raymond," Miss Danger retorted dryly, noticing how the children gathered on the couch cleared their throats - a little offended. He was such a drama queen, giving his first sidekick the big goo-goo eyes like he hung the stars in the sky, making Henry chuckle. Oh, how he'd missed the guy's craziness...

"Quiet! We're talking to Henry!" Ray snapped to Danger Force as they coughed, making everyone roll their eyes. 

"You big doofus..." (y/n) shook her head, squeezing his hand lightly before Ray wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Henry could tell that nothing was new there, seeing the same old lovebirds as he used to, only now they were settled into married life. Prepare for the grossness...

"Anyway, what are you doing back in Swellview? Not that we don't want you here, of course! You know you're always welcome!"

"I know, (y/n/n). I know..." Henry replied with a breathy laugh as she ranted hurriedly, glad she hadn't changed in the last few months. "My dad is graduating from Juilliard...dot com."

"No way, your dad's a moron! He couldn't graduate from online Harberd!" Ray scoffed, remembering Mr Hart with disdain and all the times his idiocy caused a disaster. 

"Yeah, dude! He's so dumb!" The boy agreed without hesitation, laughing with the couple like old times before growing serious again. "No, I'm actually here to see you guys!"

That had (y/n) tearing up, Ray smiling fondly when her bottom lip trembled. She clutched at her chest, giving the bashful kid a wobbly smile as she tried not to burst into tears, but he made it so hard. She didn't realise how much she missed him until he stood before her, talking so sweetly. 

"My little baby came right back to The Nest!" She exclaimed, sniffing a little before throwing her arm around his shoulders. "Give Mama Bird a big hug!"

"Just because it's you, (y/n/n)..." he sighed, never one to refuse her innocent requests, and besides, she was much gentler than Ray. He savoured the warm snuggliness, wrapping his long, gangly limbs around her body as she squeezed him softly, knowing he'd missed her, too. 

"Best hugs in Swellview, am I right?" He remarked to Ray and Danger Force, who smiled and nodded gently, knowing he was right. No one could say no to (y/n) 's hugs, not even Chapa, and Ray petted his wife's hair as she relaxed in her dearest friend's arms. 

"So, how's my old job?" He asked the kids, hoping to make small talk while she got the hugs out of her system. "You guys go on any sick missions?"

"Oh, man! Tons of missions!"

"So many!" Chapa and Mika exclaimed, much to the older boy's excitement. He wouldn't lie; he missed the old days, fighting crime without any true responsibility, so he couldn't wait to hear about how they'd continued his legacy. 

"Yeah? Cool! Like what? Anything...dangerous?"

"We once caught a guy who was stealing books from the library!" The girl said happily, but out loud, it sounded lame, not precisely the thrilling, daring adventures Kid Danger had in mind. Like how he fought a bloodthirsty, living virus or went to space--that was cool. 

"Okay, but I was kinda looking for some sick fights, though..."

"Ooh!" Miles gasped, his eyes lighting up like he had a great idea. "We once battled every bad guy in Swellview at the same time!" Now, that was more like it. 

"Noice! What happened?!" Henry asked, liking the sound of an epic brawl between light and dark, much like he'd done when he was younger. Had he ever told them about the train fight debacle? 

"Mika let them all out of prison!" Only when the kid responded was it like a punch to the gut. 

"Wow...I kinda spent my whole childhood locking those guys up, so I can't wait to hear how you all caught 'em," he said nervously, patting (y/n) on the back and when shuffled a little close. She was milking this hug for all she could get, but he was more concerned about the rampaging villains on the loose. 

"We didn't!"

"Sick twist! They're all still out there!" Bose announced happily, ignorant of how his predecessor's eye began twitching, frozen in place, and not because of the woman hugging the living daylights out of him. 

"I imagine that some of them are out there committing crimes right now!" Chapa added, equally joyful at the utter shambles they made of their first mission. 

Ray took that as his cue to jump in, not wanting to revisit that humiliating defeat. (y/n) pulled away from her baby as he brushed past them, smiling sourly at the clamouring children as they nattered away. 

"All right! That ends your visit with Henry--he's ours now!" He said, batting his eyelashes at what he thought couldn't be a better sight - his beautiful girl and precious best friend. 

"I enjoyed our time together!"

"Hey, so, uh, how's Dystopia? Do you need us to come help you?" Ray asked quietly, ignoring Bose's innocent comment, who returned to nibbling on his now-cold Nacho Ball. He was desperate to know, or rather, desperate to be needed, still smarting from how they parted on bittersweet terms. 

"'Cause I will burn this whole thing to the ground, take my wife, and leave right now."

"Raymond!" (y/n) warned lowly as Danger Force loudly cleared their throats again, much to the man's anger. He'd never snap at her so causally, but those little maggots? He had no qualms...

"Keep it down! God, they're always here, it's like--"

"--Like we're their teachers, and they're our students?" His sweet girl butted in with a teasing smile, and this time, she put her arms around his waist in a light embrace. Ray sighed, never staying mad for long when she was in his arms, returning the enamoured look while the kids watched on. 

"Little demons, more like..." Much to their wrinkled noses, the man dropped his head and kissed her gently, holding the back of her neck so it wasn't just a peck. They were goddamn shameless, smiling against each other's lips for at least ten seconds while they all grimaced. 

"Oh, there it is...wondered how long it would take," Henry retorted, eyeing the age-old scene with a judgy stare, knowing it had been hopeless to think they would've found some decency. 

No, they were as touchy as always, and when Ray finally pulled away, he smiled at his precious girl like she was the only one in the world. 

"Can't help it, kid..." he said gently, kissing her briefly and gently a final time as the heroine hugged his lithe waist, her cheeks and ears pleasantly warm. "I'm in love with my wife."

"Gross..." he grumbled, having war flashbacks about all those times as a kid when he saw them canoodling...or worse. Technically, it was his fault; he'd brought them together, but they'd always felt the need to kiss anywhere and everywhere, only saved when a loud, blaring beeping noise and red flashing light filled the Man's Nest. 

"Emergency call!" (y/n) gasped, and suddenly, it was go, go, go. Slipping out of Ray's clutches, much to his disappointment, she dashed over to the supercomputer with Mika and Chapa, eager to see what was going down. 

"Oh, hey, hey, this is perfect!" The hero gasped once he got over the disappointment of losing his sweet girl's warmth, but only because he'd come up with a brilliant idea. "We can go on a mission! Huh?! Let's pop some gum and have some...fum!"

"You know I'm all about that fum, big dog..." his old sidekick replied with a nostalgic chuckle, fondly remembering their old antics in the Man Cave, but something wavered in his eye... "but, you know, everyone thinks Kid Danger is kinda--"

"Hot?"

"Dead?" Bose and Miles suggested, and their ideas were wildly different and alarming in their own unique ways. 

"Exactly!" He nodded at Miles, much to Ray's disappointment. He'd hoped to relive their glory days...

"What's the emergency?" Chapa asked impatiently, as always, peering at the computer monitors as (y/n) tapped on the PearPads for more information. 

"It looks like there's a brawl at the nail salon," she replied once she finally found it, and honestly, it didn't sound too terrible. Merely a light workout for the more experienced crime fighters on the team, and that gave her a bright idea. 

"Oh, Hen, we could go kick some ass and then get our nails done! Just like old times! Remember? I used to take you there all the time when that doofus was busy."

"I didn't mean to..." Ray mumbled shyly, staring at his shoes as Henry laughed nervously. He'd never forget all those hours as they bonded over the smell of acetone and acrylic, laughing until their bellies hurt. 

He recalled how he'd comfort the young woman when her idiotic best friend went on a date with another woman. Still, most of all, he remembered the pain of biting his tongue when she cried, thinking Ray would never love her. It felt like a lifetime ago, and part of him wanted to regain that happiness, but...

"I know, doofus... Tell you what, you can tag along and pick my colour," she replied kindly, fluttering her lashes at her husband before turning to the kid. "What'd you say, Hen?"

"Y-yeah, you know I'd love to watch Ray pick your colour, (y/n/n), but..." he replied, and she frowned at how fervently he shook his head. It was like he'd seen a ghost or the slightest thing would make him jump like a skittish deer. Strange...

"I've been dropping so many fools in Dystopia, I was thinking I could just, you know...kick it here for a while. Maybe eat some of your famous oatmeal-raisin cookies?"

"Yeah--yeah! Coolcoolocoolcoolcool! We'll just kick it here, right, sweet girl? I was thinking the same thing!"

"I guess I'll get baking..." the woman said hesitantly, her Tummy Tingle telling her something wasn't right. She sensed danger, or at the very least, lies...but she couldn't quite pin them yet. 

"That's my girl! Guys, why don't you handle this one yourselves?" Ray suggested, creating an excited buzz throughout the room, but it only deepened (y/n) 's frown. Looking at her students - her fresh-faced babies - she swore they weren't ready to go solo, at least not without some supervision. 

"Yes!"

"Can I pee first?!" Exhibit A from Professor Bose. 

"Doofus, are you sure that's a good idea? They've only been doing this for, like...two months!" She hissed, walking over to chat privately with her husband, not that he was apprehensive. Slinging an arm around her waist, he pulled her close, flashing a confident smile before kissing her temple - like nothing would go wrong at all. 

"It'll be fine, darlin'! Why don't you pee on the way?" Ray grinned before reaching for one of the drool glasses and passing it to the boy as a receptacle. "There you go!"

"Maybe I should go with them..." (y/n) told her doofus nervously, and she moved to follow the team up to the tube. However, when she tried to leave the hero's side, he grabbed her hip and pulled her back into his chest, whining like a puppy to keep his soulmate close. 

"No, don't leave me, sweet girl!" He grumbled, holding her back to his chest as Henry rolled his eyes, wondering how needy one guy could be as Ray rubbed his nose into the spot below her ear. "They know what to do--they'll be fine!"

"But what if they need help?"

"They won't! Death is very unlikely!" Ray exclaimed a little too cheerfully for (y/n) 's liking, but judging from the tight grip on her waist, her fate was sealed. 

She offered a regretful smile to the kids, not that they minded. It was nice to have some freedom and get away from The Love Nest, practically buzzing as they assembled at the platform's top. A nail salon couldn't be that bad, and Ray had complete faith in them...and a burning desire for quality time. 

"Okay, guys... Don't end anybody, and try not to let anybody end you, okay?!"

"Good luck!" The heroine shouted, waving her babies goodbye as they disappeared down the tube - just as Henry's phone pinged. He glanced at the notification, his eyes indiscernibly darkening as he read it. Still, when the lovebirds wandered over, he quickly shoved it in his pocket again. 

"That nail salon's going up in flames!"

"Raymond! Don't say that!" (y/n) scolded her doofus, swearing she felt another tummy tingle at the boy's paling cheeks. Something was off about him...

"Oh, lighten up, sweet girl! Come on, pal! I'll give you a tour of the Man's Nest!" Ray exclaimed, lightly slapping the kid's arm before dragging his wife toward the metal door. She shook her head mirthfully but followed him, knowing she'd have to bake the cookies and prepare their guest room anyway. 

"All right, yeah, cool! I'm right behind you, big dog!" Henry called after them yet stopped to read the slew of messages clogging his PearPhone's notifications. 

All of them were from Charlotte and Jasper, begging to know if he was okay and where he was. One even said he couldn't escape his problems, but the boy ignored it, pressing the delete button without another thought. Out of sight, out of mind, and he really didn't want to ruin his time in Swellview. Not if it was the only time he had left...

"Are you okay?" A voice pulled him from his thoughts, and Henry looked up, surprised and alarmed to see (y/n) staring at him suspiciously. Oh, no; he couldn't escape her omniscient mind, gulping as she watched his every move. 

"I'm fine..." he replied, carefully tucking his phone away before she saw any of the messages. 

"Henry Prudence Hart, don't you lie to me..." she said sternly, stepping closer with one of her sternest gazes because her tummy knew something was off - she just didn't know what. 

"Who says I'm lying, (y/n/n)?" The kid broke their held gazes to glance at the floor before giving her a wonky smile. Slipping his hands into his pockets, he tried to look as relaxed as possible, even if he was oddly defensive with his surrogate big sister. "I'm fine..."

"If you say so..." (y/n) said slowly, folding her arms, dissatisfied with his answer, but she'd work it out eventually. She always did, especially when her tummy tingled like that. Only the investigation would have to wait as she heard clumsy, ground-shaking footsteps coming back up the hall. 

"Just know, I'm watching you, Hart--"

"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!" Ray asked excitedly when he reappeared in the doorway, seeing his precious wife and sidekick chatting quietly - a weird tension between them, not that he picked up on it. 

"Hmm?" The kid hummed, snapping out of the staring contest to see the man's innocently wide-eyed expression. 

"Dude, don't you want to see my axe-throwing room?!"

"Do you even have to axe?" Henry joked, plastering a grin on his face while ignoring how (y/n) planted her hands on her hips. She was onto him, but he played it off well, giggling with his old boss like nothing was wrong. 

"God, I've missed this..." Ray sighed, taking his wife's hand in his, squeezing it from the elation of having the old trio back together. 

"Me too, doof..." she agreed, hugging his arm before giving the kid one last suspicious glance. "You guys go enjoy yourselves. I need to make up the guest room and bake some cookies, apparently."

"You sure you don't want to join in, sweet girl?" Her husband offered, pouting slightly when she reached onto her tiniest toes to kiss his cheek softly. "You love it when I throw axes..."

"No, you love it when you throw axes, so spend some time with Henry, and I'll see you later, doofus."

"Okay--let's go have some fum!" 

She didn't need to tell them twice, wincing through her giggles when those little boys yelled at the top of their voices, slapped each other on the butt, and ran off down the hall. They were as crazy as the other, laughing and screaming the Man's Nest down as she chuckled to herself - only to feel her smile drop when a dark thought crossed her mind. 

Something was wrong - she could just feel it, murmuring to herself when she remembered the look on that boy's face when he got that text. 

"What is up with you, Henry Hart?"

~The next morning~

"Hey, guys. Here's your fourth cookie batch."

Ray and Henry grinned as they watched their beloved Miss Danger enter the main room, a steaming plate of oatmeal-raisin cookies in her hand. She placed them on the table, rolling her eyes since they couldn't get enough of them; it was flattering to know her tried and tested recipe was so well-loved, but she'd barely been out of the kitchen. 

She'd literally been slaving away over a hot stove while they, the chuckle brothers, played, pranked, and paraded to their hearts' content. After checking out every room in the Man's Nest in the evening, Ray and Henry played video games until the early hours and, after grabbing a few winks in between, were back at it at nine am. 

And they demanded cookies for breakfast. 

"Thank you!" They chanted happily as the warm, honeyed smell tickled their noses, knowing they could never get enough. She promised to make them some brownies, too, but first, they needed to beat this level, dancing their feet off on some computer game. 

"Are they still not back yet?" (y/n) muttered after leaving the baked goods to cool, ignoring the annoying music from the holographic computer screens. Whilst they were having fun, crisscrossing their feet to the beat, she was biting her fingernails in worry. 

Twelve hours later, Danger Force still hadn't returned from their mission at the nail salon. Ray told his sweet girl not to worry, arguing that they were probably just taking their time and having fun, but (y/n) wasn't so sure. Maybe she should've gone with them or at least told Ray to get off his butt when he showed the kid their sauna room. 

"Relax, darlin'! This is great!" Ray exclaimed happily, throwing his wife and ex-sidekick a grin as he copied the movements of his giraffe avatar. 

"I love this!" Henry nodded, bopping left and right, ignorant of his worried friend behind him. All he knew was the safety and comfort he'd learned in the Man Cave, and he didn't want to stop. 

"I love you!"

"What?!" He yelled over the music, not quite hearing his old boss as (y/n) raised an eyebrow at their antics. Honestly, it was surprising that she'd not gone insane yet. 

"I said I'd get ready for round two!" The hero quickly replied, saving himself from explaining something embarrassing as the game changed. As they entered the second round, the dance style changed, lowering the lights and switching to a soft, sexy tune as they took a minute to breathe. 

"Round two! Tango! Time to get close!"

"Seriously? You two are gonna tango?" (y/n) asked amusedly as she plonked herself on the computer's chair. She would've thought it was a bit girly for them, something her doofus would've wanted to do with her since it involved shared space, air, and sensuality. 

"Sure are, pretty girl, and if you're lucky, we can practice later, too," Ray told her with a wink, which left his wife to imagine what he meant by that. She hoped it would be a private lesson, but when she glanced back up, his attention had returned to Henry. 

"Shall we?"

"I didn't travel halfway around the world to not beat the tango level on Prance, Prance, Revolution with you," the kid replied confidently, ignoring their flirtation to give his friend a grave stare. He offered Ray his hand, who took it without hesitation before they coupled up into a somewhat intimate embrace.

With both arms around their backs, clasping each others' hands, the boys stepped in time to the Argentine music, navels pressed together with every movement. They weren't bad, creeping along and wiggling their butts as Henry led the dance, meaning Ray had to girlishly flick his leg out before twirling. 

Still, at least (y/n) could admire her doofus, thinking he looked ridiculously hot in his tight red shirt and jeans. His muscles rippled under the thin material with every move, making her sigh dreamily as she propped her chin up on her palm as that thick waist twisted and rolled. And don't get her started on those smooth, exposed biceps...

But suddenly, the tell-tale sound of the tube broke her out of the reverie, drawing her attention as the boys continued dancing. And to her relief, four tired, dirty, and unhappy kids arrived, looking like they'd lost a fight with Bob Geldof. 

"Oh, my God, you guys!" (y/n) exclaimed in horror, hurrying to her feet when her poor students plodded down the stairs, utterly defeated and groaning with every step. 

"How'd it go?" Ray was infinitely more casual, never breaking form as his sweet girl tittered over the children, guiding them to the steps near the front door. The tango was better than seeing if they were okay, despite how they groaned with every step, sticky with nail polish. 

"It went great..."

"We broke up the fight..."

"With our faces!" The kids grumbled. Chapa sounded as grumpy as usual, shuffling to her locker with a huff and glare while Mika tried to keep up her optimism. They'd done as they were asked, and that was great, but Miles just wished it didn't hurt so much. 

"Wasn't all bad. Got my nails did and had time to squeeze in a pedi..." Bose replied, and (y/n) wondered why he was walking so strangely until she looked down. His feet were beautifully smooth with moisturised skin and freshly painted nails, spreading his toes with those little foam dividers. 

Although he was the only one who'd had time to relax - the fight was brutal. 

"Pretty!"

"Nice!" The dancing duo complimented when they waddled closer, dipped, and twirled, admiring the soft blue colour - it matched his uniform, and smudging them would be a crime. It almost made (y/n) jealous that she didn't follow them. 

"That call wrecked me. I'mma go throw up and lay down." Or maybe not. She winced as Chapa shuffled the steps with her friends, appearing utterly worn out as she tried to sit down, only to flop onto the floor instead. 

All they wanted to do was sleep for the next fifty years, feeling like death had punched them in the face, but Ray had news for them - and they weren't going to like it. 

"Nah, nah, nah, another call came in while you were out," he told them to a chorus of groans and furious curse words. "Bunch of firebees are attacking a honey store. Caller said some murder bears are headin' up there, too, so hustle up!"

"We just got our cheese steamed! Can't you and (y/n) settle a honey fight between firebees and murder bears?" Mika complained on behalf of her friend, given that one of them was practically unconscious and the others were bleary-eyed and exhausted. 

She'd never heard of such a ridiculous emergency but gave (y/n) her best puppy eyes, fluttering her eyelashes as the woman bit her lip. 

"Maybe we should take this one, doofus. Let them have a break..." she suggested hopefully, hovering by the boys as their dance continued. If anyone could sway Ray, it was her. 

"Ooh, whaddaya say, partner?" He asked Henry, knowing he couldn't run off to fight crime and leave his old friend in the Man's Nest alone, not when he'd come specially. 

(y/n)'s unease only worsened when her baby shook his head gently and refused, saying some crap about the video game when, really, she knew the old Henry would never shy away from a fight. What was up with him?

"Hard pass, my guy. We got a big lift coming up."

"Oh, my God. This is ridiculous..." the heroine muttered as they separated, teetering on their tiptoes in preparation for their big finale, which apparently was so much more important than saving lives.

"Sorry, kids. Buzz off!" But, with the grouchy hero's order, Danger Force had no choice but to trudge to the tube again, dragging their feet and grumbling as they called on their final energy reserves. They could barely walk, let alone take down bad guys, but that was fine - as long as Ray got to leap toward Henry for the lift. 

He swooped above the boy's head, straightening his legs and spreading his arms like an angel as Henry held his hipbones high above his head with impressive strength. Seriously--how did he lift that much doofus?

"Okay, now that the lift is over, are you sure you guys don't wanna come help us?" Mika questioned as she and the others hovered on the tube pad, hoping with all hope that the man might change his mind. 

Given his look of pure joy at being so far above the ground, it was unlikely, but they could dream. 

"You're superheroes! Quit your bellyaching!" And a dream was all that would remain, Ray's harsh, biting tone making them pout when he refused to come down. 

"This is what you get paid for!" Henry added, thinking he was being helpful. He couldn't count on both hands how many times he was sent to deal with the most dangerous situations, but that was what he'd signed up for. That was the job, and it was worth it for nine dollars an hour. 

"You got paid?!"

"Down the tube!" Ray couldn't shout quick enough, sending his baffled students downstairs before he heard anything about unions and unfair employment tribunals. 

The looks on their faces, knowing they'd been duped when Kid Danger raked in hundreds over the years... That was a problem for another, or at least, a problem for when (y/n) didn't have a migraine. 

"Doofus....how long are you gonna stay up there?" She wondered with an exasperated expression when the kid's arms began to shake from the extortion. Holding a hundred-and-eighty-pound man wasn't easy when he barely had muscles on those chicken wings, yet Ray showed no inkling of wanting to be put down. 

He'd always wanted to be a swan. 

"Long as I can, sweet girl. Long as I can..."

Something told her that Henry's stay would be trouble - and her tummy tingle went again. 

~A few days later~

To say Henry and Ray made the most of their little bro-buddy vacation was an understatement. 

With Danger Force taking every call, emergency, or other predicament, the boys had plenty of time to hang out, relax, and mess about for four very long days. (y/n) loved having Henry home, of course, enjoying the quality time she spent with him for just under a week, but dear God, she felt like she was in Groundhog Day. 

They had cookies for breakfast every morning, followed by some practice on Prance-Prance Revolution. Then, after playing lasted tag with actual lasers, she made them pancakes for lunch, followed by takeout for dinner. And in between, their activities were loud, brash, and guaranteed to nearly shake the house down. Not so good for her poor nerves. 

The bachelor pad life was quickly wearing her and poor Schwoz out, so Ray and Henry promised to try something different, which was well-received--until they found the hero's old band kit. 

"Who gave them the electric guitar again?!" (y/n) shouted to Schwoz as her doofus and precious baby rocked out on their raucous instruments. When she said she wanted to see them break their routine, she didn't mean to shatter her eardrums. 

"WHAT?!" The genius yelled back, hardly hearing her soft voice as the boys created the awful racket. Schwoz was sure they thought they were God's gift to the music world - Bon Jovi rising again - but it made their ears bleed outside their little fantasy. 

"I SAID--WHERE DID THE GUITAR COME FROM?!"

"RAY FOUND IT IN THE GARAGE. IN A LOCKED BOX. UNDER SOME TRASH BAGS," he explained to the heroine as she clamped one hand over her ear whilst the other waved a lighter on his phone. They were part of the illusion, allowing the musical morons to believe they were at some concert playing to millions of adoring fans. But they weren't - just them, alone in the Man's Nest. 

"OH, GOODIE. I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER FIND IT AGAIN." (y/n) winced as her doofus came down the steps from the tube, her fingers clumsily dancing up the fretboard of his guitar - the one she'd carefully stashed away after he deafened them the last time. 

She had to smile through the pain, remembering how he said Captain Man didn't need lessons--he was a naturally gifted player. And, most importantly, all ladies loved a man in a band, waggling his eyebrows at her - the groupie - as he twanged a few notes. 

"YOU SHOULD'VE PUT IT IN THE INCINERATOR!"

"WOULD'VE, COULD'VE, SHOULD'VE, SCHWOZ," she replied at the top of her voice before giving her husband and friend a tentative thumbs-up.

They thought they were rocking out, hearing nothing but a sweet soundtrack, but it was terrible as Henry tapped his cymbals like a little drummer boy. It truly hurt her poor little ears, and that was before Ray prodded his strings, wiggling his tongue like Paul Stanley.

"MY GOD, THIS IS PAINFUL!"

"I GOT THIS!" The small man said before hopping off the back of the sofa, leaving her waving her PearPhone through the air, smiling through the pain. 

(y/n) watched curiously as Schwoz scuttled over to the amp that fed the infernal noise from Ray's guitar. He couldn't do much about the drumkit, but he sure as hell could rip the wire out, killing the music without a second thought. Just like they killed their eardrums.

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" 

"What happened?!" Ray and Henry exclaimed disappointedly, so distracted in their performance that they didn't notice a thing. They just saw Schwoz standing beside the amp innocently and (y/n) batting her eyelashes at her doofus with that sweet girl smile. 

"You must have blown a fuse, doof," the woman told her husband, hoping to capture his attention by crossing her legs and sticking her chest out, and it worked. Like the needy puppy he was, Ray drooled at his pretty girl and her...finer features, smiling and nodding at her every word, no matter how improbable it was. 

"Because you were rocking so hard and looking so hot while doing it."

"You bet I was, sweet girl..." he grumbled lowly, waltzing over to stand between her legs and cup her jaw. He smiled cockily as he pulled her lips to his, his ego definitely stroked and ignorant of how Schwoz twiddled his thumbs innocently. 

Her arms slid around his neck as their friends rolled their eyes, but at least the genius was thankful for the distraction. He didn't care if Ray did make those sounds or where his hands wandered or whatever she whispered in his ear that made him smirk like that, but Henry... He was suspicious. 

"Right, sure..." he muttered, not entirely buying it when (y/n) lifted the guitar over her lover's head so she could hold him closer without damaging it. Not that Ray was interested in music now. 

"Can you believe we've never even practised before?" The doofus said when they finally came up for air, pecking his wife's forehead. His smile shone as he squished her cheeks together and gazed into her eyes, entirely in the palm of her hand, after wowing her with his talent. 

"Don't need to practice when you're already perfect, dude!" Henry retorted, making his old boss glance over his shoulder with a smug expression. That's all they needed - the ego inflation. 

"Wow...I've missed you."

"And I've missed Nacho Ball! Get outta my way." Before Schwoz could even joke about giving the old hero and sidekick their own room, the kid pushed past Ray and made for the couch, where (y/n) had left their fast food while rocking out. 

It would be their fifth in four days, but whatever - he was living la dolce vita. The old man's sentiments didn't matter, not when he had a fried, cheesy ball of goodness waiting to be devoured. Henry hopped over the couch and quickly grabbed his sack, leaving the adults to do whatever they wanted. 

"I do enjoy your little visits..." the woman joked as she went around the couch like a normal person, even if her doofus leapt over the back like a child. 

They bought food, too, even though the thought of more French fries made (y/n) want to die. At least she got to share with her beloved idiot, splitting a jumbo Nacho Ball meal and extra-large soda because it always tasted better when she sipped from his. Weird. 

"Ho-kay, well...if your little concert is over, I'm going to go back to work now," Schwoz told them tentatively once they'd backed away from the instruments of death, but by then, with food in front of their faces, Ray and Henry weren't interested. Not when they hadn't eaten in three hours--and one of them got to feed little snacky things to his sweet girl. 

"Bye-bye, Schwozie!" (y/n) waved sweetly, which was more than the boys did as they immediately buried their noses in their plates. They didn't care what Schwoz did or where he went - a sore relief for the exhausted genius with a pounding headache. 

He wandered off in a foul mood, complaining about their childishness, when Henry's phone pinged in his pocket, distracting him from how Ray snuggled into his wife's side. 

She was interested in a polite, quiet dinner, nibbling a fry. Yet, her doofus laid his arm on the back of the couch, around her shoulders, leaning into her space to nuzzle his nose under her jaw. He whispered sweet nothings into her neck, practically laying in her lap more with every scrap of attention she gave him. 

"Who texted?" (y/n) asked casually while trying to work around her needy husband's advances. 

"Uh--"

"You're so pretty, sweet girl..." Ray muttered in a honey-like voice as his hand slid up her thigh, ignoring the food on the table and whatever Henry wanted to say. "What'd you say me and you take this to go and rendezvous in our bedroom?"

"Ooooh! I did not miss that!" The kid exclaimed when he noticed the hand under the table moving further north. That, and his mentor's smoochy mood, made him freak out, not wanting to know what he planned to do if he dragged her off behind closed doors. 

"Doofus!"

"What?! Can't a man love his wife?" The hero said moodily, loudly kissing his bashful girl's cheeks as the boy shook his head, grimacing. It was enough to put him off his Nacho Ball, watching how the grown man became a simping, crawling, goo-goo-eyed idiot just because (y/n) smiled at his affection. 

"Dude..." he muttered moodily, tapping his phone in exasperation when Ray kissed his wife again, "I'm trying to save these texts to The Cloud."

"Why?" (y/n) asked with a slight frown as she held her doofus in her arms, feeling how he nuzzled into her chest when the boy's phone did something annoying and unexpected. He really needed to turn off dictation, making one of Ray's classic mistakes when his virtual assistant began reading everything he wanted gone. 

"Reading messages out loud."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no---" All the colour drained from Henry's face as the voice dictated his texts, which ranged from weird to downright concerning, catching (y/n) and even Ray's attention amidst their kissing. 

"You can't run from this thing. It will find you--"

"Henry--what the hell are you doing?!" The woman asked gravely, her expression turning from serious and concerned to utterly baffled when the kid jumped up from the couch to stamp on his PearPhone - anything to get the damn thing to shut up. 

But they'd heard enough, even after he'd smashed the device, satisfying her gut in the worst way when it revealed that he'd been keeping secrets, just like she'd suspected. Sometimes, she hated it when her tummy tingle was right. 

"That didn't sound good..." Ray muttered, swallowing a fry as he pulled away from his sweet girl to look at his ex-sidekick blankly. He didn't know what was happening, but he still snuggled up with her, just from how jumpy Henry was...he wasn't that stupid. 

"Right?!" The boy asked nervously, shuffling around the couch on his tiptoes as he looked out of the windows and over his shoulder. "Hey, uh, totally unrelated question, but I'm, like, totally untrackable in the Man's Nest, right?"

"Oh, yeah, dude. Schwoz installed these macro-electron scramblers. Trying to find you here would be like trying to find a grey hair on my head," the man replied confidently, earning himself a whack on the arm from his wife since he could be so dense at times - so full of himself ever since she said he was hot. 

"There's one right there." And Henry knew just how to distract him, being the cunning kid he was. 

"What?! It's not true! Tell me it's not true, sweet girl!"

"Oh, Raymond!" (y/n) grumbled when her husband grabbed her by the shoulders, frantically shaking her shoulders at the thought of growing old. Some said he dyed his hair, others would disagree, but his floof was perfectly chocolatey - not that Ray knew that as he frantically combed his fingers through it. 

"Now, Henry, you better start telling us what the hell is going on--" She turned to Henry with one of the angriest, sternest faces he'd ever seen on her - which could've been infinitely scarier than whatever had him so worried. 

But her threat fell on its face when she was interrupted, dealing with both stressed-out doofus and a gaggle of children shooting up from SWAG in their chairs, and they did not look happy. Welcome to the club. 

"Hey!" Mika shouted, closely followed by Chapa, Bose, and her brother. They'd been doing all the leg work for Captain Man and Miss Danger for days, keenly aware that their golden boy kept them preoccupied with his little visit, and that pissed them off. 

"What? What? I don't have any grey hairs--you're old--what?!" Ray rambled, turning around to peek out from behind his sweet girl, who had just rolled her eyes and looked at Danger Force. 

She wasn't in the mood for more angry, lying children, waiting for one of them to say the wrong thing before she exploded.

"We all have something to say to you!" Mika, the spokeswoman of the quartet, announced, giving her teachers a confident face as her friends rallied behind her. 

"Well, I would sorely love to hear it. Just know that I am not in a cookie-baking mood anymore..." (y/n) smiled sweetly at them, folding her arms as she ignored the lanky, no-good, secretive boy behind her and focused on her other troublemakers. They didn't seem as confident as they were before. 

"Chapa, tell them!" The girl quickly pulled her friend before her, her strength and argument failing under the woman's stern gaze. Chapa would be much better at shouting back, her grumpy frown matching (y/n)'s, although even she was anxious to take her on fully. After all, they were all friends here...

"We've been taking all of the calls for, like, three or four days now!" She started, the others yelling in agreement as the couple glanced at each other. 

"We think you guys should take the next call!"

"Okay..." (y/n) saw nothing wrong with that, shrugging even as the children ganged up on her and Ray. If anything, she was getting cabin fever, hoping to get out into the action with her doofus, and now, she wanted to get Henry out, too. What was that he said about untrackable?

"We also think we should be able to vaporise one person a year for no reason at all!"

"Yeah!--Wait..." The others frowned at the little addition Chapa tagged onto the end of their demands, having not discussed anything about vaporising people when meeting in Mika's bedroom the previous night. They wanted fair treatment and a break, but maiming innocent people? It made the pause and quickly back-track. 

Sure, we'll take the next call..." Ray told them as he looked at his precious wife, who nodded calmly and sipped his--their soda. She was ready to go, but the kid - he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "It's been a half-minute, my fists are getting thirsty, and crime is a tall glass of water."

"Please, don't punch my glass--" Henry asked the hero while the children celebrated their negotiations, but it was too late. Fired up and eager to fight, Ray smacked his thankfully empty glass off the table, happy to see it roll under the table since it meant he got a glimpse of his sweet girl's butt when she had to pick it up. 

"Raymond!"

"What, sweet girl? Next call that comes in is gonna go home in a body bag," he whispered dramatically, clenching his fists before swiftly yanking her into his embrace. She could tell he'd not been outside in a few days, acting all hyper and needy even as everyone's brows flew up at the...overkill. 

"Doofus, what have we said about saying murdery things?" (y/n) murmured in his ear as she patted down his chest. To say he was being so jumpy, his muscles looked good in that shirt. 

"That's how lawyers get involved?" 

"Exactly, so let's remain calm and take the next call."

"Yeah, but I mean, who even knows when the next call is gonna come in?" Henry said nervously, wrinkling his nose when they kissed again, but it was a small price to pay since it distracted them from the whole going-out thing. 

The mere thought made his heart pound, palms growing clammy at the idea of venturing outside the safe Nest walls. But the emergency alert began to sound before the heroine could even give him one of her suspicious stares. Red light and the loud siren filled the room, and if he was scared before, he was practically bricking it now. 

"Oh, would ya look at that?" Chapa said nonchalantly, an evilly sweet smile as she looked at the anxious kid. "An emergency call."

"How convenient..." Ray said poignantly, anything beyond coincidence going over his floofy head as Mika walked to the supercomputer to see what was happening. 

"Exactly. Someone's trying to rob that corner store - How Convenient," the girl told them, making Ray smile at the map on the holographic screen. It was in Downtown Swellview, not too far from their hideout, but definitely in a grungier part of town. Just the sort of place filled with the scum the hero wanted to wipe the floor with. 

"Oh! So, you, me, and my sweet girl are going to Pound Town, buddy!"

"Doesn't look too difficult, but we should get going..." (y/n) noted as she and her doofus pulled out their gum tubes. Admittedly, a little flutter of excitement ran through her veins at the thought of the old team working together - the thrill of being in the trio again, even though she played it cool. 

She was more than ready to become Miss Danger again, but when Henry hesitated, she got that funny feeling again...

"Pound Town is nice this time of year, but, uh, I really just wanna finish my Nacho Ball," the blond boy told them shakily, all but looking like he could bolt at any minute, making the couple frown as they chewed their gum.

Yet, when he returned to the table, hoping for a refried, golden, crispy distraction, he found Bose sitting on the steps with his plate and cheese smeared across his lips - chowing down. Leaving that Nacho Ball unattended was a mistake. 

"Chapa ate it..." he mumbled guiltily, despite being caught cheese-handed. 

"Come on, man. Pop one of those Dystopian gumballs. I wanna see that swet 'stume," Ray excitedly said to his old friend, who undoubtedly fought in something other than his old uniform now. They'd never seen it, leaving him to fight alone with Jasper and Charlotte in the other city. Still, they only got a wobbly smile and lying eyes. 

"Aw, God--I--I didn't bring any."

"Say what now?" (y/n) quirked an eyebrow at him, not buying it for a second when the boy nervously rubbed his hands together, barely able to stand still. She was a skittish person by nature; she knew anxiety when she saw it, especially in a boy who'd tried to blindside her a dozen times in the past. 

"You're telling us that somehow, miraculously, you forgot to bring your gum, even though it's the one thing you keep on you at all times?"

"Yeah, (y/n/n). I must've forgotten to turn on the gum reminder app on my phone." He gulped, seeing the amusement in her eye the second the lie passed through his teeth, hands on her hips, as Ray frowned at both of them. He was dense, but even he sensed something weird was happening. 

"Yeah, well, the BS-detection app on my phone is telling me you're making that up," she replied sternly, holding the gum against her inner cheek as she stepped closer--until she was nearly toe-to-toe with the boy. He said nothing, bravely holding her gaze to deny everything she accused him of, but Miles didn't care. 

He was a guy of action, thrusting his arm in the air and suddenly appearing beside the ex-sidekick because there was something in his pocket... He pinched a tin from Henry's back pocket in a flash of light, hearing the unmistakable rattle of gum inside. Busted. 

"What are these, then?"

"Funny that..." (y/n) said dryly as everyone watched the lanky kid scramble for an answer. Of course, Ray said nothing - he never did to his favourite child; he was just happy that there was gum, even if it came out of thin air. 

"Guess I did bring some! Thanks, buddy." Henry plucked the tin from Miles' hand, smiling tightly at him, his voice strained and almost hoarse with his bubbling anger. 

It didn't deter the younger boy, who mirrored Chapa's infamous saccharine grin as he patted his learned friend on the shoulder, only to have his hand abruptly pushed away. For someone who said he wasn't bothered - chill in the words of the modern youth - Henry looked pissed off. 

"Something wrong, Hen?" (y/n) asked innocently, blinking when her baby looked at him in annoyance, almost crushing the case in his palm. 

"No..."

"Come on! It's right down the street--we'll be back in five minutes," Ray told him, despite having every intention of dragging the fight out for everything it had. Anything to fight side-by-side like they did in the good old days.

"Five minutes?" Kid Danger echoed nervously as he unscrewed his gum, hands shaking as they wore down his resolve. It looked like he didn't have much choice, but the mere thought of stepping outside made him feel sick - five minutes would feel like forever. Five minutes was all it would take. 

"Yeah! Have I ever lied to you?" The man replied brightly, only to get several dry looks in return. 

"You once told me you were born in nineteen-ninety-eight..." Henry recalled, much to the sniggers around the room - even from (y/n). Would that make her a cougar? Dating a guy ten years her junior? 

Everyone giggled at the flustered hero, who immediately snarled at the children as he grabbed her waist and pulled her into his chest. He didn't want her to see his pink cheeks from the minor fibs he told. 

"I was! I was! Ninety-eight! Year of the...fist!"

"Technically, it was the year of the tiger," (y/n) said, giggling as she gently hugged her doofus' waist, hoping he'd stop pouting when she snuggled closer. She didn't care about his age; if anything, it was hot - the hand of experience. "And, you big doofus, if you're secretly twenty-three, I'm the next pope."

"Your holiness..." Ray smiled, glancing down to make the mistake of getting lost in her eyes. She made him feel young - full of butterflies, warmth, and endless energy - enough to quell his current worries. That, and the kiss they shared. 

"All right..." Henry muttered, swearing under his breath from his internal anxiety and their canoodling. He never understood how they could kiss and chew gum simultaneously. Still, Ray made it work, somehow cradling her jaw and patting her ass together, too. "Let's blow and go."

"Finally!" The woman grinned, excitedly rubbing her hands together as she hurriedly pulled away from her doofus, pecking his lips a final time. She stood between him and the moody teen, feeling her husband slip his hand into hers and squeeze, grounding them in a surreal moment. 

At one point, they thought they'd never see Henry again, let alone fight crime with him. But, as they transformed into their super-suits, becoming Captain Man and Miss Danger for the millionth time, they saw a new, grungier side of their old friend. 

His uniform was...different. Kinda like he took everything about the Kid Danger costume and fucked it off. Instead of bright colours and protective equipment, the couple were shocked and concerned to see him wearing dark skinny jeans, a crusty, frayed t-shirt, and a thick, leather jacket shrugged over the top. The only way of safety they saw was his gloves, but even so, there was no padding, no layers, and certainly no mask. 

It was Henry Hart - emo edition. 

"Dude, where's your mask?" Ray asked concernedly. He could look over the dingy, dark outfit, seeing why it might be cool on some people, but nothing protected his identity. That was just stupid. 

"Oh, we don't actually wear masks in Dystopia."

"What?!" (y/n)'s eyes nearly fell out of her head at the revelation. All she heard was that three of her beloved babies were running around the most dangerous city in the world, allowing every villain to know who they were. Were they trying to get themselves pulverised?

"Yeah, I don't know, we're just kinda beyond that," the boy replied coolly--as if it wasn't a big deal. He looked at the adults like they were stupid and boring. Still, even Danger Force could see the perilous risks he took by not wearing one, awkwardly fidgeting around the room. 

"Actually, that's extremely irresponsible."

"Mask-wearing saves lives..."

"(y/n/n), come on. It's fine," Henry said to his strongest ally as the traitors around the room pandered to their teacher. He didn't care what his replacements had to say, defiantly staring at the heroine with pleading eyes, not that she cared. 

"It's not fine, picklehead," (y/n) told him firmly, wandering over to the drawer beside the supercomputer to find something suitable. She was sure they didn't have a mask to hand, but since it was dark, as long as they covered his face, the kid would be okay--if she didn't whip his butt for being so difficult before. 

"While in Swellview, you're gonna put something on your face."

"Nah, nah, nah, nah. You always do this, (y/n)!" He complained, batting away the woman's hands when she tried to put a pair of dark glasses over his eyes. They would just make him look stupid - what idiot wore sunglasses at night?

"No one likes a whiner, Henry. Put them on!" He could try to push her away, but that only made the woman more determined. 

They argued back and forth, shouting over each other as he attempted to dodge the glasses. He didn't win, of course, eventually giving up when she kicked his shin and told him to suck it up. Finally, she shoved them up the bridge of his nose, smiling with satisfaction when he sighed, arms falling to his side. 

"You look great!"

"I look stupid!" The kid grumbled, moodily stomping to the tube as Ray took his sweet girl by the hand. He said it, not her. 

"Well, it's a fight, not a fashion parade, so let's go!" (y/n) hurried after her doofus, waving to Danger Force as they cheerfully yelled their goodbyes, relieved to see the backs of them since it meant they could finally rest. Ray could barely contain himself, excitedly buzzing beside her as they waited on the tube pad, clutching at each other's hands as the hero hit his belt buckle. 

"You wanna call it?" He asked his old friend, smiling at him for old times' sake, and even in his cranky mood with the demon butterflies terrorising his belly, the kid couldn't say no. Not when he felt so nostalgic. 

"Up the tube!" Henry shouted, only for the machine to buzz lowly at him. The lovebirds beside him gasped and cooed, saying something about him being adorable and just a baby because he was still stuck in the Man Cave. A sore spot that tugged on (y/n)'s heartstrings. 

"Oh, baby boy, we go down the tube now..." She said softly, stroking the boy's arm as he stared blankly at his surroundings. She practically whimpered at her doofus, wondering if it had been that long since they lost their own home since this was normal now - them in the Man's Nest. 

"...Down the tube!"

With that, they were off, hurtling toward the garage and whatever new vehicle Ray wanted to show off. Everything was the same but different, which didn't help Henry's nerves as he stepped out from under the protective shield into the big, bad world. 

If the couple knew what danger he was in, would they have let him out? Probably not. This kid couldn't handle danger for all the big talk he used to make. Sometimes, he wished he could return to when things were simpler--when he chased diaper-wearing villains and the criminally stupid. 

But it was a little late for that. By the time they reached the convenience store, it was too late for anything. 

~The How Convenient Store~

"This place is disgusting..."

(y/n) wrinkled her nose as she followed her doofus and Henry along a dark, dirty street at the foot of Mount Swellview. 

She didn't like how all the streetlights seemed blinky, how many trash bags piled up on the curb, or how she swore she heard rats squeaking in the shadows. The smell made her want to retch, sticking close to Ray's side as he confidently strutted to the lonely store covered in a thick layer of grime and graffiti. 

"Oh, come on, sweet girl! It's gonna be fun!" The hero replied cheerfully, practically skipping along the road since he was riding a massive nostalgia wave. 

He had his beautiful wife on his arm, and beside her, Henry traipsed with them. It didn't matter how skittish he seemed - the kid was there, which was enough to make his old boss giddy as a schoolboy. 

"You mean, we're going to need a tetanus shot after this?" (y/n) said sarcastically, glancing at the reticent boy when he didn't snort at her joke. It was strange; he didn't even fake vomit when they kissed and cuddled in the Man Van, and that made her suspicious--more so than she already was. "Right, kid?"

"Huh?--Oh, yeah, ha...ha." The kid's voice was flat and distracted, probably because he constantly glanced over his shoulder, too busy frantically scanning their surroundings through those thick glasses to laugh at anything they said. 

And the strangest thing had to be how he nearly ducked under the heroine's arm when he heard a shout off in the distance, clinging to her uniform's skirt like a terrified child, not a hardened crime fighter. 

"Man, this is like the good old days! Come on! Come on!" Still, Ray hurried them off, quickly crossing the road with his usual arrogance, squeezing his wife's hand as they burst into How Convenient to see a familiar face. 

"Can you pay attention to me, please?"

"You're always in the middle of a game!" The young woman, named Shasta, behind the counter, whined to whoever she was talking to on the phone - her girlfriend or boyfriend at home, (y/n) assumed. 

She didn't give a damn about the fact that her store was being robbed, more concerned about her troublesome relationship than the criminal begging for some attention. It was challenging to rob a place when the staff refused to hand over the goods. Still, even so, Ray grinned when he recognised the scumbag - for the first time in nearly a decade of dealing with him. 

"Part of the reason I rob people is for the connection, and I feel like you're not here with me right now!" The scruffy, greasy, moronic thug whined as he squeezed his weapon of choice - a skunk for some reason, but then again, he always thought he was clever. 

"Oh, God, not him..."

"Hey, look! It's your old pal, Jeff!" Ray nudged Henry as they huddled near the door. (y/n) couldn't say she was thrilled to see that the idiot had returned after the jailbreak, but for once, her doofus wanted to chase his flabby ass. Anything to relive the glory days with the kid. 

"Yeah, yeah, cool. Let's just hurry this up," Henry replied, feeling as jumpy as ever now that they were out in the open, wearing his Dystopian costume - for anyone to see. 

"Aw, man. I'm so excited!"

"You're adorable, doofus..." the woman giggled when her husband squeezed her body against his in a spur-of-the-moment hug. Yet, she gave Henry a knowing, side-eyed glance whilst the hero couldn't see. 

"Well, I don't even know what we are! What does vibing even mean?" The shop assistant ranted to her friend on the phone, making the heroes feel slightly awkward after hearing something they shouldn't. 

"Do we vibe, sweet girl?" Ray asked his sweet girl quietly as Jeff chased after the woman, who disappeared into the break room with the PearPhone glued to her ear. The silly hero looked so confused, not knowing if it was good or bad or if he'd missed that lesson on youth slang. 

"Oh, yeah, we vibe so hard, doof," (y/n) replied with an enamoured smile despite not entirely understanding what it meant. "But we vibe so much better than that girl and her...companion."

"Where are you going? I'm not done crime-ing!" Jeff whined after Shasta, only for Captain Man to clear his throat to catch the moron's attention. The incompetent villain practically jumped out of his skin when he saw the hero, Miss Danger, and that scrawny, emo-y kid standing there, wondering when they got there. 

"Robbing a store with a skunk?" (y/n) asked with an unimpressed, quirked eyebrow. She folded her arms as Ray turned to her with a silly grin. 

"That plan stinks!" He was so happy with the little pun that he patted the boy's chest to join in the fun after he earned an amused smile from his wife. Now you go—you go—you go!"

"Uh..." Henry stuttered, not knowing what to say since he was riddled with nerves, desperately wanting to go home. "What the smell are you doing? Now, come on--you're going to jail..."

With a stony, tight-lipped face, he marched over to the criminal with a hefty sigh. He grabbed him by the elbow and, with no messing around, yanked him toward the exit without any of the usual flare or dramatics. It was baffling to the couple, who frowned and quickly dragged him back to their sides for being so goddamn dull. 

"Hey, hey, man! Take your time!"

"What are you talking about?" Their old sidekick asked tiredly, wondering what childish, ridiculous drivel his ex-boss was yammering about when he just wanted everything over and done with. It wasn't like him, and all Henry could do was avoid the simmering anger and disappointment in (y/n)'s eyes. 

"Let's slow-fight this crime..." The hero answered softly, hoping to drag out every sweet second of his nostalgia trip to make up for how they parted ways. 

"I just wanna get back to my Nacho Ball!"

"Not gonna lie, we left it with BrainStorm. That Nacho Ball will be long gone..." (y/n) replied, seeing straight through the kid's lie, but it was still true. To the boy's disappointment, Bose always stole anyone's takeout if they unwisely left it unguarded. He wouldn't be able to use that excuse now.

"Hey, is this your news sidekick?" Jeff interrupted, staring at Henry with an untypically curious expression as he tried to size him up. Luckily, he couldn't see through his minimal disguise, not seeing Kid Danger at all, but still, they didn't like how he giggled. 

"Maybe..."

"No!" The kid quickly shut down Ray's high hopes, dimming that pearly grin, but that didn't stop her merciless big sister poking his rubs with her elbow - a mischievous glint in her eye. 

"I'd say we're vibing right now," (y/n) joked, giggling with her husband as he wound his arms around her waist and plonked his chin on the top of her head. 

"You guys don't even know what that means!"

"Sure I do," she retorted when the boy gave her that dry, exasperated look, but how could she be truly cranky when she was in her soulmate's arms? 

Resting her weight against Ray, she flashed him a cunning smile, her eyes sparkling, when the besotted hero pecked her temple—much to Jeff's disgust. He'd always thought she was a pretty girl, but why did she have to choose him?

"It means we're, like, together, but not really."

"But we vibe extra hard 'cause we're actually together, right, precious girl?" Ray asked softly, lowering his mouth next to her ear. He squeezed her gently, hoping he hadn't misinterpreted something because he didn't want any of that situationship shit; she was his, and he was hers. 

"Oh, definitely, Captain. I love you..."

"Aw, sweet girl. I love you, too!"

"I can't even talk to you guys..." Henry rolled his eyes as they cooed and fawned over each other, swearing they were doing it just to wind him up. Either way, it pissed Jeff off, given that it was infuriating to see his favourite pin-up, Miss Danger, in the arms of his mortal enemy, Captain Man. 

As the kid rolled his eyes and grimaced, the crook pointed the skunk at them - an odd choice of weapon that had to be a first for the hero in all his crime-fighting years. Glaring at the happy couple and all their lovey-dovey romance, he lifted the creature's tail and pointed it at the trio; such was his genius. 

"Well, spray hello to my little friend!" Cried Jeff, and a jet of stinky skunk spray blasted at the heroes. 

Ray instantly pulled his sweet girl away and out of harm, hating to think that the foul stench would overcome her sweet perfume. Meanwhile, Henry, despite being semi-abandoned, could handle himself, instantly raising his green, glowing force field around himself. The stink ricocheted back to the criminal, hitting the back of his throat so he tasted it.

"Ahhhhh! It burns!" He screamed, seeing nothing but tears as he turned and fled to escape the foul smell. 

"Classic Jeff!" Ray exclaimed with a hearty laugh, untangling himself from his beloved wife once he'd run off. They had no need to annoy him now, and the best part of the night would be the chase, nudging Henry and congratulating him on a job well done. 

"Yeah, all right. We stopped the robbery, so let's get back to the Man's Nest!" But once again, the kid showed no interest in reliving their former fun, smiling weakly as he made for the door. 

"Hey, kid, hang on!" (y/n) called out, getting a funny feeling in her tummy again as her hand zipped out and caught him by the arm. If only he had told her what was so obviously terrifying him, maybe she could have helped... "We've got to go chase after Jeff! You know, put him in jail!"

"No, no, no, no. Let's get back to the Man's Nest," Henry insisted, slowly edging toward the door, even as they ached to run after their enemy, who was quickly gaining ground. 

"Come on, it'll be fun! Like old times! Punchin', quippin', takin' selfies!" Ray added, jabbing and kicking out at thin air to try and inspire a little action in the boy, but he didn't succeed, either. 

"I don't want to take selfies!" 

He glanced at his wife, looking to her for advice, but she was equally frustrated and slowly losing patience with the boy when he took her wrist and tried to yank her back to the Man Van. 

"Ooh, you know what we can do? We can steal some of these bubblegum burner phones and blame it on Jeff!"

"That's just stealing, doofus, and not the point right now!" (y/n) told her husband firmly when he got a little silly and desperate, but her main focus was the stubborn kid still gripping her arm. 

She looked at him with a hand on her hip, trying to work out what was up with him as her tummy tingle worsened, but it was difficult when he anxiously hopped from foot to foot. 

"It's kind of a grey area, darlin'. Who's gonna know?" Ray replied jokingly, not sensing the tension in the store until his wife gave him the look. A stern, cold glance that had him buttoning his lip and looking at his shoes because he wanted to live. Henry, however, might not see another day as he avoided her firm gaze. 

"I will, you big doofus, but come on!" The heroine answered curtly before yanking her hand from Henry, giving him a tired yet serious stare. "Look, kid, will you just tell us what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" Henry asked quietly, trying to act all innocent and cute, hoping it would get her to leave him alone. 

He was little Henry Hart, the boy she had known since he was thirteen. He tried to channel that when his big, wide eyes met hers, only to be met with a harsh scoff and incredulous expression. 

"Oh, cut the crap. We both know you've been lying for the last few days!"

"I have not!" he argued fervently, trying to tap Ray's bicep to get him on his side. 

Still, if there was one thing he'd missed during his time in Dystopia, Ray Manchester did not argue with his wife. Hardly ever, and certainly not on stuff like this. She was the boss, and he didn't mess with her—mainly because she was smoking hot when she was girlbossing it. 

"You're lying right now!" The woman snapped, clutching her tummy when the tingle became painful, tugging her toward the back door like something wanted her to flee, but she wasn't done arguing yet. 

"Sweet cheese, Henry, what are you so afraid of?" 

The kid never got a chance to reply, and she didn't know when to run, not when shit hit the fan. 

A flash of blinding light filled the store, and an explosion threw the trio off their feet. They barely had time to react when the cool, nighttime air hit their faces, telling (y/n)'s dazed brain that the door had burst open, but most importantly, they were under attack. 

It couldn't be Jeff; that idiot was long gone and couldn't find his ass in the dark with both hands, so Captain Man wasn't worried about him, just the unknown. He did not know what he was up against with his vision so blurry, but his instincts told him to move--fight--kick--punch--do something to get to his sweet girl. And Henry, of course. 

As their backs hit a cold, hard surface where racks of chips and candy used to hang, the hero tried to move his bulky arms, reaching for the pretty girl beside him, but it was futile. 

"What the..." (y/n) muttered in a daze, but not enough to miss the bizarre contraption fixing her wrists and lower body to the wall. They were like futuristic handcuffs, glowing with powerful, blue energy that snaked around their tummies before locking their hands by their sides. 

"Miss Danger!" Her doofus exclaimed, panicking slightly when he tugged on the weird restraints with his super-strength, but they didn't break. He couldn't get to her. They were side by side, yet so far and completely powerless, and that made them afraid. 

Yet, the feeling of not being able to reach each other was nothing compared to the terror that ran down their spines when a sinister-looking remote-control drone flew toward them, honing in on Henry as the boy slumped against the wall, petrified and panting. 

It scanned Captain Man and did nothing. It scanned Miss Danger and did nothing. They weren't its target, but Henry? It analysed his face and beeped, talking in a monotone, robotic voice that put the fear of God in the kid. 

"Henry Hart located...Sending bounty hunter."

"What the actual fuck?" (y/n) spat, heart pounding and staring wide-eyed at the drone before she and Ray snapped their heads right in their friend's direction. 

"I can explain..." he said slowly, not daring to look them in the eye because he knew he was screwed. It was just a matter of time before they all met horrific, excruciating ends, and it was all his fault. They were gonna die, and that was on him, but he couldn't tell them that...

"Can you?!" His beloved (y/n/n) gasped, frantically glancing between him and the drone as Ray tried to wrench free, but it was useless. "Oh, Henry, what have you done?"

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean for this to happen," the boy whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, praying it was some sick, twisted nightmare. But no, the drone was still there, and his closest friends...well, they looked ready to throw hands. 

"For what to happen? What's going on?!" Ray gasped, tugging with all his might to bust out. He wasn't the brightest, refusing to give up, but he didn't need to be a genius to realise how much shit they were in - how he couldn't reach his sweet girl to keep her safe, even if he tried.

"We need to get out of here!"

"Yes, thank you for that capital idea, Sherlock," (y/n) retorted dryly, feeling her wrists chafe as she wiggled them. "Don't suppose you have a freaky techno-key for these freakier cuffs, do you?"

"Just--just call Danger Force and tell them to get here ASAP!" Henry told her shakily, whipping his head at every entrance like he was waiting for someone to arrive, and by the looks of it, he was petrified. 

She scoffed at that. She was seriously not in the mood to take orders from him. Also, what made him think they'd want to help? Those poor kids were exhausted, and this was his mess - if only he'd tell them...

"They won't come. It's their time off, Hen," she replied, but that only made the kid's eyes widen more than she thought humanly possible. 

"They have to!"

"Why? Are we gonna die?" Captain Man asked causally, a light, airy, joking edge to his voice as he tried a smile - anything to lighten the situation. But, his stomach dropped when Henry glanced away awkwardly and pulled a nervous face. Did he even want to know?

"Um...no?" He tried, but it was a pretty poor attempt to say he had all those lessons on lying all those years ago in the Man Cave. 

"One more lie from you, Henry Prudence Hart, and I swear to God--" (y/n) snapped, seeing straight through his anxious disposition, mainly because she was the queen of nerves. The Nervous Queen. 

She invented lying through one's teeth, and her raised eyebrow and penetrating glare made Henry feel worse. He hoped the tears in the corners of his eyes helped his case, although judging by how she shook her head, it didn't. 

"Call them!" He begged, using his best puppy dog eyes and shrillest voice before looking at his old boss. They winced at his volume, thinking he'd gone so high-pitched and whiny that only dogs could hear him. "Please!"

"All right, all right. Jeez..." Ray muttered, wishing to put his hands over his wife's precious little ears. He hated how she leaned away from the kid, who had really become a wimp in his time away from them. "No need to yell at my sweet girl."

Shaking his head, the hero gave his ex-sidekick a stern look—as if he hadn't had enough of those. Still, Henry couldn't complain when Ray fumbled for his PearPhone. Thanks to the freaky restraints, he was the only person with room to manoeuvre. 

It took some work, but he managed it, slipping the cell out from his utility belt before calling Danger Force. They'd undoubtedly be in a foul mood when they saw it was him, but to save his sweet girl? He'd do anything. 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

It was safe to say that Chapa wasn't happy. Her piercing tone shattered their eardrums despite coming through the phone's speaker, and Miles didn't shy away, either. 

"You're interrupting screen time!" he bellowed, which was weird for the kid, who was usually so chill. 

"Oh, my bad, D-Force!" Ray said in his usual lighthearted tone, smirking at his sweet girl and the perturbed kid, "Just, uh, that me, my incredibly hot wife, are in a little jammy jam, but don't worry about it! We'll find another way outta this!"

"No, no, no, no! We need them to help us get out of here ASA-NOW!" Henry argued, sounding even more panicked and jittery than before, earning puzzled looks from the couple. "Please, come help us!"

"Sorry! Captain Man said you guys would handle this call," replied Chapa, who had no plans to leave her snuggly blanket or the sacred sanctuary of Mika's bedroom. 

"She's right, kid. This doofus did promise we'd take this call," (y/n) added, frowning when the boy ignored her soothing voice and tugged frantically on his cuffs. 

"We gotta honour it. Even if it kills you," Ray joked, although he would never let a thing hurt his beloved wife, flashing her a blindingly charming smile. 

"Please, come help us!" the kid pleaded again, feeling like throwing up as he got desperate. He bribed Danger Force with anything he could think of. He was shameless, promising them anything their little hearts desired as the drone's red eye focused solely on him. 

"What--what do you want? Captain Man and Miss Danger will give it to you!"

"What?" The couple murmured, glancing at each other with deeper frowns as the boy shouted into the speaker, giving away privileges he didn't have. 

"You want to fly the Man Copter? You want a bunch of puppies?! We'll give it to you!" He offered, neither of which sounded pleasant to Ray. 

The hero could see it now; his beloved helicopter spiralling to the ground or a bunch of mammals doing their doo-doos all over his Man's Nest, and the latter seemed worse. Of course, he had the best luck, and the children chose puppies - because who doesn't like puppies?

Hell, (y/n) knew which one she would pick, already imagining a little friend for Colin. She could already picture them setting bolt right up, eyes sparkling at the thought of cuddling with adorable doggies - a lovely image only ruined by Henry's snivelling. 

"Just, please, come! Please, come help us!"

"PUPPIES!" The kids cried in pure joy. Despite their morals and grand ideas about screen time, they'd do anything for puppies. 

"We're on our way!" With that, they ended the call, leaving the trio alone to await rescue. 

Henry's tummy was undoubtedly less choppy and churning, but his expression didn't change. He was pale and pasty as his knees shook, his back pressed to the wall in pure terror. He looked like a wimp, and giving away the Man Copter like a pound of tea? That was downright disgraceful. 

"Jeez, kid. What's got your brisket in a basket?" Ray asked frostily, glancing at his old friend as he squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered. 

The boy glanced at the man and then at (y/n), whose piercing gaze never left him; she was clearly waiting for an answer, and if anything, Henry was more scared of upsetting her than the monster coming for them. 

But, no matter how deep he was already in, he couldn't lie to her anymore, not when she searched his face and gazed at him with those kind eyes. And when she spoke? He crumbled. 

"Henry? What's wrong?"

"Okay, I gotta level with you guys," he gulped, nervously buzzing in place as Ray casually glanced around the store, ignorant of the situation's severity like usual. 

"Dystopia is really scary, and I kinda messed with some things that are so evil that I can't even explain, including this bounty hunter named Blackout that literally eats people's souls."

"Bounty...hunter?" (y/n) echoed as she felt the blood drain from her face and her heart stop. Now, she partially understood his terror, having thought hunters were legends relegated to old cowboy movies and sci-fi series. What the hell had the boy gotten himself into?

"...And he's hungry for mine, so I came to Swellview because I thought I'd be safe in the Man's Nest, but he clearly found me, and he's gonna eat our souls!"

"...So, you didn't come to Swellview to see us?" Was the first thing Ray asked, his eyebrows pulled upwards to make him look all wounded and pouty. 

Perhaps he missed the mark a little, but he'd never let this asshole suck out his sweet girl's soul - she was too precious for that. So, he wasn't overly worried, but he was undoubtedly hurt that his ex-sidekick ran away from his problems under the cover of a friendly visit. 

"Not really the time or place, doofus," (y/n) told him quietly, still remarkably holding her nerve as she processed everything. 

It was a lot to take in; death, danger, bounty hunters, and soul-sucking, but she silently agreed - it was a kick in the teeth to be an excuse. However, she'd prefer not to be in mortal danger when they were scolding the kid. 

"That's what I'm hearing, sweet girl," answered Ray, giving her a look akin to a kicked puppy, even as Henry tried to smooth everything over. 

"No, no, no, I did! I did!" He argued, trying to make the man-child feel better. "But I also don't want my soul to get eaten! And I needed to do some laundry...and I wanted (y/n)'s cookies..."

"Oh, well, it's nice to be wanted..." the woman retorted dryly, rolling her eyes at being reduced to a bakery and laundromat. Henry gave her a sheepish look, smiling awkwardly as he stared at his feet. 

"Are you mad?" He asked quietly, knowing he'd kept a lot from her, not to mention lying to her face and demanding cookies by the dozen. 

"Oh, I'm not mad, Henry..." (y/n) replied, resting her head against the wall while Ray tapped his foot against hers—he'd get what he could when they couldn't hold hands. She looked tired as her head lolled to look at the kid, firmly believing they could have worked something out to avoid this mess. 

"I'm just disappointed." 

Henry winced at that. He'd heard it a million times from his parents, but coming from his surrogate sister, (y/n) Manchester? It was like death by a thousand cuts to his quivering heart. He could take her being angry as a punishment, but knowing he'd gone down in her eyes? He felt like crying. 

"Ooh, ouch..." Ray muttered, having been there and heard that. He felt for the kid, although perhaps not as seriously as he should've done. 

"I'm sorry..." Henry whispered, not daring to look at her as his gut ached, feeling all low and nervous like he was gonna throw up. He'd never betrayed their trust like this before, and knowing what he did, he knew Ray would never forgive him for putting his wife in harm's way. 

"Don't apologise now, Hen..." said the woman lowly, knowing she'd cry if he cried, and she was trying to be firm. "It's too late."

"I know... I messed up."

"Yeah, you did." She nodded, an exasperated smile as she shook her head. 

Part of her wanted him to feel bad; if it weren't for him, she wouldn't have a peg digging into her spine, but he was as human as her--and she would've been a nervous wreck if she knew he was being hunted. And who hadn't told a lie before to spare someone's worry? 

So, she showed a little leniency. Perhaps she was tender-hearted, but she saw no benefit in chewing him out now, not when Ray had already given him a tough time for not visiting. That could wait for when they weren't about to be murdered. 

"But we've got Danger Force coming to get these things off, and when they do, I'm going slap your silly head for telling lies, young man."

"So, you don't hate me?" the kid asked as he raised his head, giving her the same wobbly smile as when they first met—full of nerves and hope like a little kid. 

"I don't think we could ever hate you, Henry Hart--" Just as (y/n) gave him her warmest smile, everything went black.

The lights fizzled out like there'd been a power cut, and that's when any temporarily good feelings in Henry's tummy vanished. A childish squeak passed through his lips, glancing around their dim surroundings with wide eyes to catch any movement. 

"What?" Ray asked with a slight chuckle, thinking his old sidekick looked ridiculous as he cowered like a frightened little lamb - not the almighty hero he was. 

"It's Blackout, dude!" Henry gasped, suddenly wishing he could run to his mommy as the couple calmly stood beside him. But that was only because ignorance was bliss. 

"Yeah, it looks like someone forgot to pay the power bill. Right, darlin'?" The hero joked, nudging his wife's elbow as she smiled and curiously looked around.

"No, no, no. It always goes dark before Blackout shows up!" The boy explained frantically, looking a bit manic as he tugged on his restraints. 

"Oh, this guy can turn off lights? Oh, I'm so scared!" Ray exclaimed sarcastically - as arrogant and cocksure as usual. 

"Why are you laughing?!"

"What else can he do? Unplug your amp while you're playing guitar?" He scoffed with a bright smile, which only dimmed when his dense brain suddenly realised something, making (y/n) glance away awkwardly. 

"And as I say that, I realise Schwoz might have done that on purpose, that little piece of sh--" 

Ray would have to take up that fight with the genius later and grill him on killing the groove. First, he would have to deal with their interrupting guest, who made his presence very well known when he kicked the door open and stomped into the store. 

A heavy breath left Henry's body as his nemesis stood before him, draped in all-black robes and an imposing steel mask. He looked like Death himself, and the kid would honestly say he was petrified. 

Even (y/n) gulped, not liking how this Blackout guy stood at least head and shoulders taller than her with huge hands that could snap her in two. Still, she tried to be brave, glaring at the villain as Ray confidently snorted at him, thinking he looked like a bug in that stupid helmet. 

"I should never have come here," Henry murmured, a foreboding sense telling him that the fiend would leave no witnesses behind, "I'm sorry for putting you guys in danger."

"Relax, if this guy puts one finger on my sweet girl, I'll kick his ass into next week," Ray replied, puffing his chest out at the bounty hunter as he flashed a cocky grin at his precious wife. 

He didn't look like much, standing there like a lemon--and his muscles weren't as big as his, and he wasn't handsome with that mask. "And this loser doesn't even have a weapon."

As usual, he spoke too soon on that one. With the press of a button on a small doohickey, Blackout summoned one of the bloodiest, craziest, and biggest weapons (y/n) had ever seen. 

It was like an axe from hell, spawning blades and spikes on either end of a long, steel pole, meaning he had double the opportunity to chop heads and limbs off. And she didn't doubt that he'd use it without a spare thought. 

"Okay, I'm taking that home after we're done with this guy!" Ray gasped, thinking it looked as sick as it was sinister. 

"We're gonna die, dude!" But Henry just shook his head, sniffing weakly as he presumed the worst. 

Unlike Ray, who imagined nothing but a sweet victory. Then, he'd move on to adoration and glory, followed by a peaceful retirement with his beloved wife and the family they would undoubtedly have. He definitely had no plans to give that up for something as stupid as dying. 

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm trying to think of an opening quip..."

"Is now really the time, Captain?" Miss Danger asked quietly, eyeing Blackout, who didn't seem as idle as before now that he had his big stick axe thing. 

"Sure, pretty girl. Okay, how about..." he said calmly, channelling his inner wit and doofy humour, "Knock-knock--"

"Doofus, look out!" Her warning came too late, and even if he noticed the bounty hunter owing, there wasn't much Ray could've done.

Blackout charged at him without a second thought, twirling and slamming the butt of his lethal axe into the hero's toned stomach to the sound of (y/n)'s shriek. The impact was so powerful that her doofus blasted through the wall, leaving a colossal hole beside her as Henry gulped, his mouth propped open. 

"Typically, you'd say, who's there?" The hero's weak voice came, strained and squeaky, from the back room where he lay. He'd be okay, of course, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch. 

"Holy shit..." (y/n) gulped as the hunter ignored his victim's cries. Instead, he expertly twirled his weapon and glanced between her and the kid, seemingly picking between his prey. 

"Look..." Henry said pleadingly, despite knowing it was futile, "I'm the one you want, okay? Eat my soul, do you whatever you want to my body--just don't hurt my friends!"

"Hell, no, if Nightlight or whatever his name is wants a fight, he can have one!" The heroine argued, glowering at the villain, who she thought was such a coward. 

He didn't give his enemies a fighting chance, and she tugged at her cuffs to at least try and get a swipe at him before her doom. Yet, she didn't have the opportunity because, out of nowhere, a herd of children fell from the sky. 

It sounded ridiculous, but that's actually what happened. Before her and Henry's eyes, four bodies tackled Blackout from above, leaving him in a groaning heap. They blinked in surprise as Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose lay on the ground, wearing their uniforms, slightly winded but otherwise okay. 

"You guys!" (y/n) grinned, having never been so happy to see them, even if they were slightly grumpy from the rough landing. 

"Too high!" Miles groaned, having misjudged his teleportation, not that it mattered too much. 

"How did you miss the floor, AWOL?" Chapa hissed as she glared and clutched her bruised ribs. 

"At least we're here! We could have been in another country! Ungrateful!" The boy argued indignantly, thinking some people were unbelievably rude. 

Regardless, they marched over to their fellow sidekicks and quickly freed them, ripping away the freaky handcuffs. 

"Oh, my sweet baby boy, Bose!" (y/n) grinned at the boy as he gently freed her. She rubbed at her chafed wrists and hugged him before greeting her other babies, knowing she'd end up baking some thank-you cookies once they made it home. 

"Hey, why are the lights out?" Asked Chapa when she didn't see the warm, snuggly hug coming, which she would never admit to enjoying. The darkness hid her rosy cheeks, but they couldn't fight blindly.

"It's Blackout! He's a bounty hunter from Dystopia--" Henry answered as they worked at uncuffing him, too, only the girl quickly turned her back on him. 

"I've already stopped listening," she murmured, too busy searching for the convenience store's fuse box so she could jump the lights. 

Meanwhile, Ray emerged from the back room, still bolted to the wall he'd been thrown through. He waddled into the front with a massive chunk of plasterboard on his back, looking a little stunned but otherwise okay. 

"Doofus!" (y/n) exclaimed happily when she saw him standing there, his stature slightly shortened by the wall's weight. Still, he was a sight for sore eyes when the light returned, and she didn't hesitate to throw her arms around his neck. 

"Are you okay?"

"Always when I'm with you, darlin'," Ray replied charmingly, wishing he could hold her in his arms and kiss those pretty lips. But he'd have to wait for when he was free, sort of a sitting duck with his wrists restrained as Blackout got back on his feet. 

"Captain Man...what are you doing? Be careful!" The heroine gasped when Ray boldly toddled past her, having to walk on his tiptoes since the plasterboard threatened his balance. 

Still, he wasn't about to have some emo bounty hunter dictate stuff to him or endanger his wife, so he tapped him on the shoulder. Blackout turned around, mildly impressed to see the blue and red moron still alive and glaring at him, but Ray never went down without a fight. 

"Wasn't done with my quip. I said, knock, knock--" That being said, he was still an idiot. 

(y/n) winced when he took another blow to the gut from that spiky axe, stumbling backwards across the room until he fell onto his ass. 

"Stay away from him..." She told the villain coldly as she put herself between him and her vulnerable husband, clearly intending to fight. It was a little reckless, but she didn't care, drawing a quiet chuckle from the otherwise silent hunter. 

"Sweet girl, don't!" Ray called out to her, happy to say that if he were cut down now, the last thing he'd see was her perfect butt in that skirt, but he didn't want to see her hurt. 

In his mind, he wasn't worth it. He shouted at the kids to help her as Henry shook off his bonds, but the latter didn't jump into action. 

"Thanks, I owe you one," the kid said to Bose and Mika with a fleeting grin before running for the door. He really was a wimp...

"What?! Dude!"

"Henry!"

"Where are you going?!" Danger Force and (y/n) shouted after him, shocked to see the formerly fearless sidekick flee. 

Luckily, Chapa, having zapped the fuse box, was stationed near the door and blocked his exit, meaning he could not escape his problems this time. 

"The scary guy's that way, and he's about to peel Miss Danger like a satsuma," Mika told him, pointing at where (y/n) stood with Blackout. She looked a tad overwhelmed.

Maybe it was the fact she foresaw one punch and dodged it, only to receive a sneaky uppercut, or perhaps it was how he then grabbed her by the throat and lifted the woman off her feet that gave it away. Who knows?

"Looks like she's takin' care of him..." Henry gulped, knowing he was lying to himself again when his friend was mercilessly tossed to the side like a ragdoll. 

That gave the villain access to Captain Man, who quickly had to endure an excruciating beating from the axe as Blackout tried to chop him in half. Still, to look at him, Ray looked like he was merely being tickled, taking the swings and making jokes like a champ, albeit through gritted teeth. 

"After I say knock-knock, you say, who's there? And I say, my fist! And then, before you can say, my fist who, that's when I say, ah!"

"Captain Man!" (y/n) exclaimed, staring through woozy eyes as Blackout tried to cleave her husband's chest again, drawing a pained grunt from him. She tried to get to her feet, a little wobbly after her little scuffle, but she was more worried about him. 

"All right, I'll see you guys later. Tell Schwoz he can keep my dirty laundry..." Henry said, giving them a little wave before tiptoeing toward the door - as if he'd ever make a clean getaway. 

He made it about five steps, with Danger Force running after him, before (y/n) spotted him, and her visage darkened. The kid could practically pinpoint the moment her glare pierced him, but her booming voice put the fear of God in him. 

"Henry Prudence Hart! Stay right where you are!" The heroine shouted, and as she commanded, he froze. Henry shakily turned around, flanked by Danger Force's members as they shoved him away from the door and toward their boss. Their real boss - Ray could never be this scary. 

She didn't have to say anything, merely crooking her finger towards herself to beckon him over. Henry's feet moved independently, slapping on the tiled floor with encouragement from Chapa's elbow. He stood before his friend, who stared at him menacingly with her hands on her hips, not knowing where to start. 

"Just where do you think you're going?" she asked sternly, feeling like she'd called a child up for a telling-off in front of the entire school. 

"Home..." Henry replied, barely audible as he mumbled his words. 

"Louder."

"Home," he repeated, clearing his throat so she could hear him. This time, she sighed through her teeth, shaking her head. The disappointment was bitterly wounding. 

"Right..." (y/n) nodded in understanding, and for a quick minute, she seemed remarkably calm. But only for a few seconds. 

In the blink of an eye, she had her hand in the air before bringing it down on the nape of the kid's neck, slapping him on the back of his head as she'd promised. Each hissed word was punctuated with a slap, making him grimace as the sharp smacks rained down. 

"You're. Such. An. Idiot. Henry!"

"Ow!" 

"You better say ow! How could you leave us to fight this guy alone?!" The heroine said sharply, blowing on her fingers to cool them off, and she had no sympathy for his little whines. 

"I don't know! I--" he tripped over his words, nervous from having so many little eyes on him. He didn't need the children's judgment. They had zero idea what it was like, so he stared at his hands, the floor, and even Ray as he received another pummelling. 

"You what?! Huh? What, Henry?" But that merely made (y/n) angrier, and she glared at the boy as he failed to provide a coherent answer. 

"What could be so important that you leave me, Captain Man, and Danger Force here to die? Huh?! 'Cause you said, this guy wouldn't blink twice at murdering us!"

"Dude..." Chapa muttered dryly, giving the older kid a judgy stare as he shook. She despised cowards, especially the ones who knowingly allowed kids to do his dirty work. Still, Henry just ignored her, wrapping his arms around himself like a comforting blanket. 

"I can't, (y/n/n)! I just can't!"

"Why?" The woman demanded to know and stepped close to him until Henry couldn't take it anymore. His hands flew to his hair, tugging it in exasperation as his teary, bloodshot gaze met hers. 

"I'm scared! Okay?! I'm scared to fight Blackout!" He cried, and they all froze. It was an unexpected outburst, and not a word (y/n) often associated with the kid, seeing him as courageous and daring, but he was just a kid. 

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that - he was so young. 

"He's really tough and evil and...I'm just...scared."

"Henry..." (y/n) sighed, placing her hands on his shoulders so he had no choice but to look her in the eye. 

She was mildly surprised when she saw the little boy he used to be staring back at despite being so much taller now; he was still thirteen-year-old Henry Hart, and she knew him. And he knew her. "What's my number one rule?"

"Ooh, ooh! No capes!" Bose piped up, his hand in the air, as if they were back in the classroom. 

"Good, but no..." She smiled at his antics, liking his enthusiasm, but shook her head. She kindly looked at the tall boy, putting her hands on his smooth, boyish cheeks and squishing them together. 

"Even superheroes are allowed to be scared."

"Wow...you're really bringing that one back?" A grin broke out on his face as the simple utterance shot him back in time five years prior. 

He remembered every wobble he and Ray ever had and how she was always the one to soothe their worries with the right words. 

"It's true," she replied, pulling him into a tight hug and whispering... "It's normal to be afraid, but we don't just run away from the problem! So, stay here and help us fight this guy!"

"Yeah! Captain Man says you're the best superhero he's ever seen," Miles interjected, giving his predecessor a reassuring smile and bump on the arm. He was trying to be encouraging, but Henry was ever the pessimist. 

"That does not sound like him," he answered, knowing Ray and his constant ridicule. 

"He also says you have a surprisingly good singing voice," Bose added, making the kid smile coyly. He looked a little sheepish, his ears tinged pink, but if there was one thing his ex-boss loved, it was a sing-song, and Henry had been there for a few.

"I guess I'm all right..." he crooned, just as Blackout took another hit at Ray, slamming the electrified axe into his chest. (y/n) was anxious to go and help, turning to the boy with pleading eyes. 

"Captain Man says that we're garbage, and the four of us will never measure up to one of you."

"I disagree with that, but whatever..." the heroine muttered to herself when Chapa grumbled, staring jealously at Henry because they would never be him. They would never replace Kid Danger or what he meant to the superheroes, but they didn't want to. They just wanted to make it on their own. 

"I'm sure you guys are pretty tough...." replied Henry, thinking they had to have some talent - Ray wouldn't tolerate utter losers. And they had superpowers, right?

"Well, why don't you stay here, and we can show you?" Mika said, challenging the boy with a flash of her determined gaze, backed up by her twin. Even Henry couldn't help but feel fired up, knowing their support was behind him. 

"Yeah, let's take this guy down together." Everyone fell silent for a minute, half-smiling at the nice sentiment and half-cringing at how sappy it was. Chapa had to stop herself from puking, (y/n) gritted her teeth, and the others winced. 

"Was that cheesy? That felt really cheesy..."

"Eh...maybe a bit. Lil' bit of cheese," the woman told him kindly, trying to spare his feelings whilst Chapa didn't hold back. She shivered at the grossness of friends helping friends for the greater good and all that crap. 

But the small jokes and quiet laughs soon died down when the all-too-familiar bang of Blackout's axe coming down cut through the air. 

Everyone glanced back at Ray, who had sweat clinging to his temple as he endured another savage whack, and even the bounty hunter grew tired of the never-ending attack. 

"Why won't you die?" He growled, hunched over to catch his breath. Obviously, the hero hadn't let slip his indestructibility. 

"You ready?" (y/n) murmured to Henry, knowing she'd go for round two with that guy, whether he wanted to fight or not. 

But when he turned to her, the kid had a fiery glint in his eye and a cocksure grin that she knew too well. He nodded at her firmly and rolled his shoulders, loosening everything up to take on his greatest enemy - which he should've done in the first place rather than leaving Charlotte and Jasper in danger. 

"Let's ride on this fool..." Henry told her and the children, who all readied themselves for a fight. 

They lined up, fists clenched and feet firmly planted on the floor; the kid and (y/n) stood hip-to-hip with two kids on either side of them, hoping their powers would actually work for once. 

Immediately, AWOL thrust his fist into the air, disappearing in a flash of warm light before reappearing beside the winded villain. Before Blackout could even look up, he kicked out at his weapon, knocking it from his hand across the floor.

He backed off once he wasn't dangerous, and Volt went in, rolling across the floor as Henry and (y/n) dashed forward. The kid punched him first, and Chapa sneakily blasted him in the face with a bolt of lightning, stunning him long enough for the heroine to land a blow on his face.

"That's for hurting my husband!" (y/n) growled, hoping her rough slug stung like a bitch since he tried to slice her doofus. They went back and forth like that, punching and zapping him until ShoutOut yelled at them...

"All of you, move!" She ordered, giving the three enough time to hit the floor before she super-screamed. 

The violent sound waves knocked the villain to the ground with a grunt. BrainStorm finished him off, using his telekinesis to lift him into the air and drag him across the room into Henry's force field. It was like hitting a brick wall, leaving the bounty hunter firmly incapacitated. 

High-fives, giggles, and fist-bumps passed around the room as the heroes grinned, celebrating a job well done. Why the kid couldn't handle that guy in the first place was beyond them, but they didn't say anything, too proud to feel anything but pure joy. 

At last, Ray broke free of the handcuffs, having used Blackout's repeated assaults to weaken them. With a final tug of his super-strength, they shattered, and he was finally freed from the damn things - including the plasterboard. 

"Dooooooofus!" (y/n) exclaimed, leaving the kids by the door to run into his embrace once the man was on his feet. She threw her arms around his neck, and Ray grinned, easily lifting her up as he pecked her cheek. 

"There's my girl..." he whispered, spinning around before planting her on her feet again. Their lips met gently, earning a few whistles and groans from the kids, but the couple didn't listen.

"You looked so hot when you punched that guy..." Ray muttered into her ear, grinning from ear to ear as he squeezed her waist. 

"Yeah? You were watching?" She replied quietly, knowing the kids would see them whispering and make all those puking noises, but it felt like an age since she'd been in his arms--even though it was only an hour or two. 

She was pleased to have emphasised her hip movements during the fight when he was watching. She could tell which asset had captured her doofus' gaze simply by how he needily nuzzled into her neck. 

"Couldn't help it..." the hero answered, kissing down her neck before glancing at the crumpled villain behind her. Part of him was disappointed in himself that he hadn't protected her--left her to be thrown around by that asshole, and it fuelled his need for revenge. 

"Watch this..." 

(y/n) followed her hulking lover as he plodded toward Blackout, a little unsteady on his feet since he'd endured a few too many hits. Still, he loomed over the pile of black robes, glaring down at the hunter who dared to hurt his precious wife. 

"Hey, Blackout..." he called to him, only to get no reply from the snoozing criminal. "What'd you get when you cross a duck with a Shih Tzu? Blackout?"

"I think he's a bit...unconscious, doof," said his wife, who hovered by his side and grabbed onto his beefy arm, loving how muscly it felt under her hands. But that wasn't good enough for the man-child, who'd missed out on his excellent quip and lost his hilarious joke. 

That made him mad - furious, even - so he did the normal thing. He kicked him in the spine as if it would be a wake-up call. 

"Blackout!" He hissed, booting him again, but he didn't even squeak in pain. There wasn't even a flicker of life in the guy, making (y/n) look at the kids with a panicked expression. 

"You don't think he's...do you?" she asked, looking at them wide-eyed before turning to Ray. He blew out his cheeks at her, just knowing that he'd have to be the one to scrape him up off the floor and dump the body...somewhere. 

"Okay, that's your one for the year," he told Danger Force, who pouted that they'd lost their privilege so quickly - and Chapa didn't even get to savour it.

Ray got his weird, spiky, axey thing, which he quickly retrieved from Blackout's fingertips. Why couldn't she mildly maim a guy?

~The Man's Nest~

The following day was a sad one. 

With his fears about Blackout and instant death, Henry's brief but glorious visit to his surrogate parents was over, even if he didn't want it to be. Despite everything - the lies, secrecy and trickery - he enjoyed seeing them again, bonding with Ray like old times and eating too much of (y/n)'s food. 

He felt safe, loved, and wanted again, but with age came responsibility, and that was in Dystopia - he knew that now. He knew skipping town because of a few butterflies wasn't right, so it was time to put it right. And that would undoubtedly break the old man's heart. 

"Ho-kay, laundry all done," Schwoz said as he finished folding the last of the kid's freshly washed and pressed clothing. He'd nearly killed himself trying to clean the small mountain, but it was worth seeing that cheeky smile again, putting it all into a big sack for the journey home. 

"Thanks, Schwoz," Henry replied, tucking his PearPhone into his back pocket after finally responding to Charlotte. She'd give him hell when he returned, but he deserved it--and she was much scarier than Blackout. 

"I left a little present in the pocket of one of your pairs of jeans."

"Aw, thanks..." the kid grinned, a faint blush painting his cheeks since he wasn't used to such affection. "What is it? Like, a little piece of candy?"

"All I can say is...it's alive," said the genius, making the boy pause and give him a suspicious, concerned look. Typical Shwoz...

"What? Seriously?!"

"It was nice to see you! I love your wig!" The bald weirdo exclaimed before scurrying off, greeting Ray and (y/n) as they passed through the metal door. 

The kid frowned at what he said, touching his very real hair, but he ignored it, smiling sadly at them. He hauled the laundry bag over his shoulder and tried not to appear gloomy, knowing he'd never make it to the tube if the woman cried. 

"Don't forget your Nacho Ball!" Ray told him as he handed over a sack full of greasy deliciousness. Anyone could see he was smiling bravely, showing the kid his most charming smile as (y/n) reassuringly squeezed his hand. 

"Whoever sits next to me on the plane is gonna hate me..." the kid joked - anything to try and lighten the mood. 

"Because of the farts?" Ray sniggered, giggling with his old sidekick like children as (y/n) shook her head and sniffed. She promised herself she wouldn't cry...

"I keep telling you not to eat dairy," she scolded him, clutching the Tupperware box in her free hand like a lifeline, which she needed when an awkward silence fell over them. 

Over six years together, and she couldn't remember a time when no one had something to say...

"Oh, I made you some oatmeal-raisin cookies...for the flight," she said, quickly giving him the box, and her arms fell by her sides again, watching the kid try to juggle everything. "I would say save some for Charlotte and Jasper, but I doubt they'll last that long."

"No way..." Henry laughed, tucking the precious baked goods into his bag so he could nibble on them after the Nacho Ball. A final, familiar taste of home... "Thanks, (y/n/n)."

"Y'know...you don't have to go back to Dystopia," Ray told him slowly, hoping his last-ditch attempt would change the boy's mind. 

It was almost impossible and a little late to stop now, but he could at least try as he curled his arm around his wife's waist and tucked his hand into her back pocket. He needed an old, squishy friend to pat to settle his nerves. 

"No, I do..." Henry replied, glancing at the floor before giving his old friend a sad half-smile, "Running to Swellview just put you guys in danger."

"Yeah, but they took care of it, right?" The hero sniffed, gesturing to the children across the room, who barely knew what day it was, thanks to the adorable distractions he'd organised. 

(y/n) was unbelievably jealous. She stared longingly at the four puppies nestled in each kid's arms and wished he'd let her have one. She helped save the day...why couldn't she cuddle one?

"They sure did, dude. That's a tough group of kids you guys have there."

"It always surprises us how much grit and determination each of them has," the heroine replied, trying not to sound all babyish and pouty as she fondly watched Danger Force by their lockers. 

"Right, sweet girl..." Ray muttered, wiggling his fingers in the pocket against her butt, earning a light smack on the arm before his mischievous grin fell. "...Oh my God, they're baby-talking the puppies..."

"This was so worth it!" They overheard Miles exclaim as he petted his little French Bulldog, and the heroes couldn't help but smile. 

"Later, Dangers!" The kid called out to them, and Miles, Mika, Chapa, and Bose looked up from the cute creatures and grinned. 

"A-buh-bye, Henwy!"

"Byeeeee!"

"Have a safe trip!" They exclaimed in silly, squeaky voices, and to Ray's exasperation, they used the puppies' paws to wave goodbye, acting as if they were talking.

So, at last, the moment had come. Henry's flight was scheduled to leave a couple of hours, and he'd stretched his time in the Nest until the last second. Now, he had to go, turning to his tearful friends with a bittersweet smile. 

"Wanna hug it out?" He offered, knowing (y/n/n) wouldn't let him go without one. 

"Nah..." Ray shook his head stubbornly, hating the aching feeling in his chest like someone had clawed it out. He didn't want anyone to see him cry - especially Chapa - but his sweet girl didn't care, stepping forward and pulling the boy toward her in the blink of an eye. 

"Well, I do!" She cried, tightly looping her arms around the kid's waist and burying her face into his chest. "My baby's not leaving without his goodbye hug..."

"Best hugs in Swellview..." Henry whispered, savouring the warm snuggliness for a few seconds as she clung to him, nuzzling his plaid shirt. 

Glancing up, he saw the moody hero staring at them, a twinkle of jealousy in his blue eyes. When Henry beckoned him with two fingers, knowing he knew more about the woman's hugs than most, it wasn't surprising that Ray's stubbornness melted. 

"...Maybe just one hug." He conceded and quickly joined his wife, wrapping his arms around her and the kid so she was sandwiched between them. 

Henry patted the man's back as best he could, feeling the weight of both of them leaning on his body, and whilst it was immense, he wasn't mad. If anything, he savoured it, knowing he wouldn't have it again for many months; on the other side of the world where no one cared about him the way they did. 

"I'll call you when I get home," he muttered to the heroine, grunting slightly when Ray's arms tightened - keeping his two favourite people in the world right where he wanted them. 

"Don't forget..." (y/n) said in a joking, warning tone, having never felt so content in a hug before, running her hands up and down the boy's back. "And when you get home, you make sure to tell Charlotte and Jasper that I'm thinking about them..."

"I will..." he nodded, imagining his friends' grins when they received her love - even if he'd undoubtedly have eaten the cookies.

"And keep yourself safe," she added, stretching the moment for every it was worth. "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call us. Not for a second..."

"Okay, (y/n/n). Don't worry..."

"I will worry..." She sniffed, feeling the tears pricking at her eyes, even as her husband's huge chest curled around her body. "I'll always worry when my babies aren't at home."

"I'll call..." Henry promised, squeezing her and Ray one final time before when his phone dinged. "Oh--that's my Goober."

"Yeah..." He was a bit stuck, trapped by her hug and Ray's immovable, muscly arms, and even though she loosened up, the man had no intention of letting go. 

"I gotta go, guys..."

"Okay..." (y/n) said quietly, trying to save her sobs for once he'd gone, but even after her arms released him, Ray remained. He was lost in the moment, his hand locked on his wrist as the kid tried to push him away. 

"Ray, I gotta go!"

"Doofus!" The woman groaned, feeling his hug grow a little tighter to the point where she felt like she was being steam-rolled. "Doofus, I can't breathe..."

"Ray, I gotta go!" 

Henry took drastic measures when he didn't respond again, pushing the couple away with a small, light force field. It wasn't too strong, knowing he wouldn't live another day if he hurt her, but it broke the guy out of his daydream, leaving them all tangled up. 

"Yeah, yeah..." Ray mumbled, draping himself over his pretty girl as Henry shook his head mirthfully. "Get outta here! Protect that Goober rating!"

"Yeah..." He nodded sadly, looking over his shoulder one last time as his PearPhone pinged - the sign of an irate taxi driver. 

The air was heavy and stagnant as he shuffled to the tube, feeling like he'd hardly been in Nest for two seconds, and now, he was leaving. But, there was one little surprise left...

"Ow!" 

To his horror, when he reached into his back pocket for his phone, something bit his fingertip, latching on and not letting go. When he pulled it out, he discovered Schwoz's little present—a delightfully tiny snapping turtle, much to everyone's confusion. 

"Gotcha!" An evil chuckle came across the room when the metal door rose to reveal the genius lurking behind them, kneeling on the floor in his stupid pinafore. 

"Schwoz!" Ray exclaimed angrily, but the little weirdo disappeared again, giggling manically as the kid flicked the little critter away and rubbed his sore finger. 

"That really hurt..." he muttered, stepping onto the tube pad with all his baggage as the hero stared at him longingly, wishing 

Who knew when his next visit would be? 

"Wait!" 

#ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #captain man x reader #dangerverse #reader insert #danger force #chapa de silva #henry danger #fanfiction #x reader #henry danger smut #henry hart #miss danger #danger force season 3 #kid danger #captain man smut #captain man #ray manchester smut #ray manchester fanfiction #x ray #fanfic #my writing #writing #writeblr #writers #creative writing #writers on tumblr #on writing

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1 Masterlist

Status: Ongoing!

Main Masterlist

Synopsis: No one ever says married life is easy, which certainly isn't true for Ray and (y/n). After finally tying the knot, Mr. and Mrs. Manchester said goodbye to Henry and their old friends and welcomed four new ones: Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa. The kids have spirit but lack the finesse of experienced crimefighters, needing Captain Man and Miss Danger to shape them into the superheroes they know they can be.

Easier said than done when you're outnumbered. Cue the mishaps, mayhem, and mischief in a new adventure for Danger Force.

This story is mature in places with adult themes and language and uses she/her pronouns for a female reader. However, anyone is free to read and enjoy :)

Episode 1: The Danger Force Awakens 

Episode 2: Say My Name 

Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)

Episode 4: Villains' Night (SMUT)

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Episode 6: Quaran-kini (SMUT)

Episode 7: Chapa's Crush (SMUT)

Episode 8: Return of the Kid *New! 26/03/24*

Episode 9: Mika in the Middle 

Episode 10: The Thousand Pranks War Part 1

Episode 11: The Thousand Pranks War Part 2

Episode 12: Down Goes Santa Part 1

Episode 13: Down Goes Santa Part 2

Episode 14: Vidja Games 

Episode 15: Test Friends 

Episode 16: Lil' Dynomite 

Episode 17: Monsty 

Episode 18: Twin It to Win It 

Episode 19: Radioactive Cat 

Episode 20: Miles Has Visions 

Episode 21: Captain Man Strikes Out 

Episode 22: Manlee Men 

Episode 23: S.W.A.G is Haunted 

Episode 24: Family Lies 

Episode 25: Earth To Bose 

Episode 26: Drive Hard 

#dangerverse #ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #danger force #captain man x reader #chapa de silva #henry danger #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #bose o'brien #ray manchester smut #ray manchester fanfiction #henry danger smut #miss danger #danger force season 3 #kid danger #captain man #cross posted on ao3ml #captain man smut #cross posted on wattpad #cross posted on ao3 #mutual pining #long post #series #bookblr #books #booklr #long series #rick twitler

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 4: Villains' Night (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*Just a lil smutlet to start us off. I know it's short, like 1500 words, but I've been trying to be a bit more concise. Like, do people want to read 30,000-word chapters? Probably not, so I'm economising. And I'm like exhausted. I am genuinely so tired, but I want to get this out so you guys can enjoy it. 

First, we have this meme I saw on Tumblr and edited to fit our doofus and sweet girl cos this is so them-coded:

SECOND! I was messing about with ChatGPT, and when I asked it to try writing some DF fanfics, it instead summarised the show and well...let's just say AI doesn't watch Nickelodeon. 

I love this summary. I vote that we change the show so Schwoz has laser hands. 

Anywho--smut is starting. Don't read if you're anti-filth or young. I will not be held responsible for anything. Soy inocente. 

He really was a sight for sore eyes. 

Ray Manchester was hot. No questions. End of story. He was God-like: made from chiselled muscle, supple, golden skin, and gorgeously floppy hair with a face made by angels. In uniform, out of uniform, tight t-shirt or no tight t-shirt, he was handsome, and the world knew it. He knew it. But there was only one person who he truly loved to hear it from. 

He closed his eyes and groaned, hips snapping to bury himself deeper, floof falling into his vision with each punch of effort. His nose scrunched, lips pursed, eyebrows rumpled together, biceps bulging near his ears; he looked good like that. More than good. Really fucking hot as a shimmery sheen stuck to his wrinkled forehead, gasps falling from his mouth with each...heavenly...movement. 

And if he was in heaven, there had to be an angel. And there was. 

She was perfect--but when wasn't she? She cried out for him so sweetly, pressing her palms to his clammy chest and abs, rolling her hips into his; he couldn't ask for more, yet he did. Begged, even. She was sweating too, warmed by the close heat of the room and the mid-morning sun streaking through windows. Another morning where they'd lost themselves in the moment. 

How long had they been at it? Two hours? Three? Maybe even four? He'd lost count, merely remembering that he'd woken up to his sweet girl staring at him--admiring, as she excused. She looked so pretty, snuggled up in his embrace, kissing along his neck before he could rub the sleep from his eyes. He knew he wanted her, but he didn't know how much. 

Once wasn't enough. They had a break after the second. Now, they just had to fuck once more. He didn't care if it was a school day, if someone had already knocked on their door once, or if it was quickly approaching lunchtime - his wife was beautiful in the yellow light, and he was insatiable. 

"Fuck, doofus!" And so was she. 

(y/n) smirked as she panted rapidly, exhausted without leaving her bed, but that was okay. Her legs could ache, her arms could feel like jelly, and her pussy could throb, but she wasn't stopping. Not for the world. Not when she had a God beneath her, bound and broken from her swivelling hips. 

Ray was so hot - a sight for sore eyes, especially when he submitted to her like this. Experience had told him that giving her a little confidence and room to experiment got him off quicker and harder than anything else, so he relented his dominance and penchant for rough play and gave her some space. 

His arms were slung over his head, wrists tied to the headboard with a red tie stolen from his closet when he was resting from fucking her through the mattress. She looped the material around him before he could protest, and seeing her straddle his abs was more than worth it. (y/n) loved looking down and seeing her husband smirking back at her, his thick torso laid before her like a goddamn feast as she guided him to her cunt. 

Everything was slower this time from lack of energy, but no less passionate. She rode him like a queen, swirling her pelvis, skin slapping skin as she left red crescents on his chest with her nails. She was glad to take the third round, giving him time to lie back and enjoy himself as his previous releases made everything slick and easy, smeared down her thighs and his. 

"So good for me, doof..."

"Feel so good, precious girl." They gasped together, sharing a breathless brush of a kiss when the heroine bent in half to reach his lips. Hot air passed over her lips as Ray fought to hold her hips, make her move faster, squeeze her tits--anything. He wanted to feel his wife fully; was that a crime? 

But she pulled away, grinding against his lap, enjoying how his cock rubbed against her walls. She wanted to enjoy the final moments of their lovemaking, fingertips exploring every ridge of his abdomen and pecs as he whined underneath her. He rarely allowed her such luxuries, letting her suck and nip on his neck and collarbones, clenching when he moaned at her sharp teeth digging in. 

"Being so good for me, Ray..." she moaned, hunching over and smooching his shoulders as he growled, aching to hold her. 

"Yeah? 'M good for you, sweet girl?" He replied softly, hating how well she tied the knot, but her praise softened the frustration. As much as he wanted to hold her, have her spread underneath him, and do it his way, this was perfect. He lived to please her, and gaining her praise was deeply satisfying, seeing how she smiled softly upon taking in his toned, tanned body. 

He was gorgeous, sighing, groaning, moaning, succumbing to his fate, knowing he existed for her. 

"Mm-hmm. Earned this for being such a good boy last week..." she grinned, gently stroking his abs to calm him down when she flashed back to those traumatic events. 

Miriam and Percy were gone, and so was Ray's beloved hair. Instead of the chocolate floof, all (y/n) had to stroke and admire was his gleaming bald head, which felt weird under her lips when she kissed his head affectionately. Understandably, he was distraught, hiding in her embrace. No one could see his baldness, but thankfully, a salve from Schwoz quickly saw the floof growing again. 

She breathed a sigh of relief - she needed something to pull when he was fucking her through the mattress. 

"And sucking me off the next day wasn't my reward?" Ray grinned, bucking his hips into hers as he recalled how brilliantly sweet she was that night. Following the world's longest nap, he sobbed after glancing in the mirror; she rubbed his back and assured him it was fine. She loved him with hair or without, and he didn't complain when she got down on her knees to prove it. 

God, that was a good night, sagging against the wall in the Man's Nest while she slurped and choked on his cock. It was a little weird to look up and see him with a buzz cut, but she could just close her eyes and let him use her - a cocksleeve for his enjoyment. And he didn't worry about it all night, bruising her body with his sheer passion, leaving them exhausted again but utterly satisfied. 

"I could stop if you don't want this..." (y/n) teased, body thrumming with hazy, soul-shattering pleasure. Planting her hands on his stomach, she doubled her efforts, slamming her cunt on his throbbing cock when Ray's gaze darkened. 

If he could, his hands would be on her hips, throwing her underneath him, keeping his precious wife where she belonged. Her pussy was his second home, his second favourite girl, and she took him so well. How could she even hint at stopping? 

"Don't you fucking dare."

"Love you, doofus," the heroine giggled as she kneaded her chest, giving her husband a show as she rolled her nipples between her forefinger and thumb. His half-lidded eyes watched with hungry, wanting to take her tits in his hands and mouth--to love her properly. But he relented, an agonisingly warm softness blooming in his heart when she spoke those words so reverently, honest and true. 

"Pretty girl...fuck, I love you more than anything," the hero promised, tugging at his restraints, desperate to take her in his arms and fuck her properly. He wanted to love her, feel her, and push himself in as deep as he'd go until he was permanently one with her- until it took. 

That damn tie was too tight, making (y/n) giggle as she leaned down again to kiss him, hips writhing and bucking together to chase a nearing high. It would be intense and soul-shattering, but they needed it, burning with love, lust, and longing as her lips clumsily trailed across his cheek. She lightly bit his jaw, breathing hotly into his ear, sucking on his earlobe before whispering...

"Cum with me."

He wasn't one to refuse his wife, swearing he'd pull the stars from the sky if she desired them. But this was easy, squeezing his fists together as they stilled and groaned. He filled her easily, pumping endless ropes into her awaiting pussy as (y/n) screamed, wondering which number that one was. Maybe three or four - thoroughly fucked by her doofus as she collapsed onto his chest. 

Everything was hot. The room. Their bodies. The man she married. She didn't dare move, scared of pulling away and spilling the precious cum coating her walls, so she nuzzled into his damp skin, kissing his chest. Ray was equally fucked, wrung-out and smug when he rolled his hips, fucking himself deeper, and pulled another gasp from her lips. 

They never cared about the world in those quiet moments after, connected on more than a physical level. It was a man and his wife, a woman and her husband, and no one else. Nothing else mattered, not even when the door creaked open, and a fuzzy little head poked around the corner. 

"The kids are waiting downstairs. When you're ready. After the smoochy-smoochy...so...hurry up!"

Poor Schwoz. He'd been waiting over an hour to approach them, straying closer to their door, only to hear such unholy noises escaping through the cracks. He backed away and came back, backed away and came--an endless cycle of trying to say that Danger Force was waiting downstairs, but he was terrified. 

Seeing his boss hazy-eyed and tied to his bed was one thing: arms slung above his head with a band of red silk keeping him still. Hearing one of his oldest friends shriek and seeing her pull a wrinkled sheet up to her chest was another. But, almost certainly, he'd never recovered, nor would he ever be able to wash the imprinted image from behind his eyes. 

Schwoz was mortified. (y/n) was horrified. But Ray? He was fucking delighted. 

*And we're safe again. Enjoy the rest of the chapter! I actually really like this episode (especially since DF as a whole is a bit shit :)

"We are so late!" (y/n) hissed as she and Ray raced to the school, barely rubbing the sleep from their eyes. It was true; they were so late, oversleeping and rolling around the sheets until the sun was high and well past mid-morning. Well, not that the doofus cared, strolling behind his beloved wife with a dorky grin. 

He was happy--annoyingly pleased with himself for discombobulating such a perfect and precious girl. Her Miss Danger uniform was haphazardly thrown on, slightly rumpled and creased from their sprint to the tube. At the same time, he casually buttoned his tunic and zipped up his pants, leaning over her when they paused to go downstairs. 

For someone who'd done nothing but keep her in his bed all morning, he was surprisingly touchy, wrapping his arms around her, smooching her neck as (y/n) flicked through a file - everything the kids needed to learn today. She wanted to focus on some minor, simple missions that didn't involve fire, explosions, or death, but that wasn't easy when her husband wriggled into her arms like a needy child. 

"Doofus, I'm trying to read!"

"Can't a man love his wife?" Ray cooed, arms draped over her shoulders as she tried to shuffle along the corridor, which was much more difficult with the man-baby weighing her down. 

He pawed at her tummy and arms, hoping to hold her tight and retain her warmth and happiness away from the world--and that wasn't easy with a cup of coffee in his hand. He needed the caffeine after such a...rigorous start, although he was confident that his precious girl would end up drinking most of it. 

As much as he...vaguely liked the children, they could be so annoying, and that morning, like every other morning, he wanted her all to himself. Was that so bad? They never got a day off together and only recovered from last week's exhausting mission. Those little demons were knocking on his door again, banging on about learning. It was so overrated...

"The man has been doing that all morning," (y/n) sighed, subconsciously leaning into his affections since his lips felt so ticklish on her neck... Despite everything, she loved the attention, taking the hand off her hip to intertwine their fingers as they walked along. 

"And I love you, my pretty wife..." He smiled, hunched over in what must've been an awkward position to walk since his chin was resting on her shoulder. They stopped, hovering in the closet as the kids' voices grew louder on the other side of the wall. It made the adults freeze, instinctively pulling away from what Schwoz would call the "smoochy-smoochy". 

God, he was still embarrassed, walking around with red cheeks and wide eyes, avoiding the couple like the plague once they shouted back to him and left their bedroom. No one knew where he was now, making (y/n) and Ray wary of where the fuzzy weirdo would pop up next, which made the hero grumpy. If it weren't for him, they might have gotten that day in bed...

"I know, Raymond..." she replied softly, petting his head when he hugged her close, wanting the quiet, solitary moment to last forever. "I love you too."

"...You don't think they'll miss us for another half hour, do you?"

"Yes. Definitely. And if you come near me again, doofus, I won't be able to walk." He pushed his luck, drifting his touch down her back toward her butt, only for his wife to stop him. 

As much as she liked the thought of that...she was tired. Aching. Slightly sore. It was nothing her super-regeneration couldn't handle. Still, they had things to do, so no matter how much Raymond pouted, she stood fast, chastely pecking his cheek when his fingers narrowly escaped skimming her ass. He'd have her beneath him all day if it were up to him, and that was more of a vacation thing, not a mid-week, school day thing. 

"You know how to flatter a man, sweet girl," Ray grumbled, sighing but squishing her cheeks together as he captured her lips. True to his word and her request, he refrained from turning it dirty, humming appreciatively at her taste before pulling away to straighten her pretty uniform. Had he told her how gorgeous she looked that day?

"Mm-hmm. I know how to flatter you. Come on..." she giggled, taking his hand as her ears warmed under his soft, gooey-eyed stare, guiding him to the door. 

With the file perched open in her hand, they entered the room, smiling brightly as they faced the bored, dejected children. At last, the teachers had arrived - a mere three hours late - and they headed for the lectern, acting like everything was perfectly normal, even as four sets of eyes scrutinised their every move. 

They were scattered around the room, Mika fiddling with something, Chapa dozing at her desk, wearing a cowboy hat, Miles eating a snack, and Bose working through a box of doughnuts. They'd run out of things to do whilst waiting for the adults, having heard nothing more from Schwoz, save that they were busy and on their way. Whatever busy meant. 

"All right, simmer down, everybody! Let's cut the chatter!" Ray told the kids firmly as he took the thick file from his wife's hand and dumped it on the podium, ready to read what juicy crimes they had today. He wanted to command the room and avoid awkward questions, but he only worsened things like usual. 

"No one was talking..." Mika replied flatly, wondering what the guy was talking about--except for being high and mighty like normal. She looked up from the blaster she'd been inspecting and eyed the couple suspiciously, wondering why (y/n) looked so tired after a relatively quiet night. Few emergencies, no criminals, very little to do - what had they been doing?

"Yeah, man. No chatter to cut," her brother agreed, smirking slightly when (y/n) nudged her doofus, pouting and begging for a sip--or rather, gulp--of his coffee. And like the soft idiot he was, Ray gave it to her, acting like her thirst annoyed him, yet he brought the cup to her lips. What a simp...

"Hey, (y/n/n)...You get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? Your hair's all weird..."

"Oh, she got out of bed this morning, only it was Ray's side!" Chapa hissed snidely to Miles, earning a few giggles around the room as they knew something of the truth. It didn't take a genius to work something out, and they gagged and groaned at the thought of their teachers doing snuggly, cuddly things in bed. 

Their chuckles and rude toilet humour comments made the woman glare, dryly raising an eyebrow over her stolen coffee while subtly patting her hair. Perhaps it was a little frizzy, ruffled from being Ray's pillow princess, and the hero wouldn't have any slander. If those jokers really wanted to know, he liked seeing her like that...she looked so very naturally beautiful. 

"Well..." he said sharply, speaking above whatever they found so funny when (y/n) returned a trickle of coffee. "I kinda had my heart set on telling you guys to cut the chatter, so... Can we come in again? And, maybe, hear some chatter?"

"I didn't realise we were here to meet your needs..." Miles retorted, slowly chewing his jammy doughnut and swirling the liquid in his polystyrene cup. He matched the man's glare, knowing he was fond of his wife, being the simp he was, but they were just poking fun... It wasn't their fault they'd landed themselves in a real-life rom-com. 

"Well, guess what? You are," Ray told him, equally biting as (y/n) clung to his beefy arm. His uniform made him look so handsome; how did he look so...put-together?

"Then, we can do that!"

"Great. We'll come in again. Let's go, doofus!" She smiled at them before ushering her stubborn lover out of the room. As he sipped whatever coffee she left him, disappearing into the closet, the kids erupted into forced, vociferous chatter, talking loudly across the room as if they were more interested in their dealings than schoolwork. 

Behind the door, the couple waited a few seconds, counting ten seconds specifically as Ray swept his wife into a breath-taking kiss. His free arm curled around her waist as he held the file close to his chest, although he'd rather it was her. Still, (y/n) stepped closer until their navels touched, seemingly starving for that bubblegum mint until they had to pull apart. 

In another beat, they reentered the room, following a smooth rhythm as if they hadn't shared a secret tryst behind the wood, falling into the racket without another word. Although, maybe one final fleeting glance at each other. 

"All right, calm down, everybody!"

"Let's cut the chatter!" (y/n) shouted with her doofus, unaware of his game's point. Still, he seemed satisfied now, sauntering back to the lectern with the faux exhaustion of an overworked teacher. But the kids didn't stop, suddenly lost in their conversations. They weren't mindless rabbles anymore but excited chats about whatever teens talk about. 

"Hey! The doofus said to cut the chatter!" She told the kids, feeling her husband press himself against her back as he smiled gently. She was so hot when she took charge, commanding the classroom with such wit and intelligence...he was in awe. 

"All right, M-D. What ya got for us today, Cap?" Bose asked, placing his feet on the desk as the children took their seats, simmering down to politely play attention like good students. 

"What we got is a big, steamin' bowl a' crime chowder. So, grab your spoons--let's eat!" Ray grinned, particularly proud of his metaphor, especially when his sweet girl giggled and gave him one of her pretty smiles. He was such a dork, slamming the thick file down so he could read out the crimes; only Mika had been busy...

"I digitised all those papers for you and uploaded them to the smartboard," she told them as her friends barked like excited dogs, earning a pleasant grin from (y/n) when she turned and noticed all the information on the screen. Whilst it made their lesson plan redundant, she supposed it was easier, knowing everyone could see the details rather than them reading it out. 

"Aw, thanks, Mika!"

"Oh, well...what am I supposed to do with these?" The hero asked with a pout, holding the stack up since the papers were now useless. He turned to his beloved wife, seeking her judgement since she was usually so wise in these situations, even if the solution was obvious - he just wanted an excuse to gaze into her eyes. 

"Recycle them, doofus?" (y/n) suggested, removing a speck of non-existent dust from his uniform, fingertips trailing down his chest as she smirked. Ray broke into a huge grin, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles as he chuckled--like something was funny. 

It made her frown, wondering what amused him so much when she was just trying to be helpful. He didn't like seeing such an ugly expression on her face, making him smooch harder, but he couldn't help it - such a silly suggestion.

"Absolutely not, darlin'! You're so cute..." 

"Throw them away?" Bose proposed, still reclining as the man cooed over his wife. He liked that idea much more, lighting up the room with his pearly grin since that made much more sense. Just throwing them in the trash would require less effort, and everyone knew recycling was a myth.

"Better! 'Scuse me, sweet girl..."

"What?!" The heroine gasped, frowning deeply as her husband scooched past and dumped the stack of papers into the regular trash can, utterly ignoring the waste paper basket beside it. They fell with a hollow thump, much like (y/n)'s heart, as she sighed and shook her head, spotting Mika's similar reaction - those girls lived in a world of goldfish. 

"Burn 'em?" And it only got worse with Chapa's suggestion, egging Ray on because who didn't like fire? 

"Best!" Ignoring his wife's facepalm, he grinned as he pulled the laser remote from his belt and zapped the documents. Instantly, they burst into flames, the warmth and glow spreading through the room, bouncing off the walls rather cosily, and the girls supposed it could've been nice if it didn't fill the place with an ashy, burning smell. 

"Seriously, doofus?" (y/n) sighed, watching the flames lick the air as Mika helpfully went to fetch her a fire extinguisher. The man perched himself on a small cabinet, taking her into his arms as he set her on his knee and pecked her cheek affectionately. 

His grin was infectious, pulling at her lips as she stood between his parted knees, mirthfully shaking her head. He was an idiot, but he was her idiot, looking too damn handsome for his own good as the kids admired the flaming spectacle. 

"Recycle them! You're so funny, sweet girl... I'm so glad I married you," Ray murmured, gaze flickering to her lips before finding them. They smiled into it, feeling the ghosts of their wedding rings on their fingers, where they would be under their gloves if they weren't in uniform. 

Meanwhile, Mika found that fire extinguisher, unlocking the plastic housing on top as she brought it over to (y/n). Even if it broke apart their clinch, the blaze needed putting out, so she abruptly separated from her husband with an awkward cough. 

Despite often losing herself around Ray, acting like a schoolgirl crushing on the hottest guy on the football team, she tried to refrain from jumping him whenever the kids were around, even if she wasn't always successful. So, as he plucked a pencil from behind his ear and bizarrely dropped it into the flames, she chastely pecked his forehead one last time before turning to her little helper. 

"Okay, crime time..." Ray announced, clapping his hands and getting on with teaching once he lost his wife's warmth - the fire was no match. Mika returned to her seat once (y/n) had the extinguisher, watching as the man began his so-called lesson while she blasted the fire with the white smoke, smothering the flames. 

"Somebody stole a garden gnome off some old lady's front yard..."

"Oh, come on, doof. We can do better than that..." (y/n) commented as she breezily hobbled past, thinking they were above dealing with petty crimes like teenage misdemeanours. They had to leave something for the cops to pick over. 

"Let's see...somebody hit Scary Gary in the head with a garden gnome--Oh. Actually, those two might be related," Ray hummed, seeing some connection, but it still wasn't spicy enough to be worth their time, practically sending the kids off to sleep on their desks. 

One quick squeeze later, (y/n) extinguished the fire, making a mental note to find a replacement trash can later since that one was all melted and smoky. She walked back to where they stored the thing, noticing how her husband's eyes slid down her spine when she brushed past him, obviously lingering where her skirt met her thighs. 

"Get to the good crimes!" Chapa suddenly barked, snapping Ray out of his daydream of soft skin and thick flesh, remembering that he was teaching. Thank God for the podium...

"Okay, gimme a sec, gimme a sec..." Ray muttered sheepishly as (y/n) returned to his side, flicking through dozens of petty offences, some more tedious than others. "Somebody stole all the books from the Swellview Library. Pfffft!"

"STOLE BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY?!" Honestly, the couple didn't think it was such a big deal, heads jerking up in alarm when Mika abruptly pushed her chair back and slammed her palms on her desk, glaring menacingly. 

If looks could kill, whoever made the mistake of nicking those books would be dead, even though they thought the kids wouldn't care. After all, kids don't read these days... But she wasn't the only one; terse looks penetrated the smartboard from all of them, including the kids they assumed wouldn't care. Mika, bless her, was a little nerdy compared to someone like Chapa...

"Someone's gonna fry tonight!" But even she was furious, looking slightly ridiculous in her black Stetson, fists sparking with scarlet electricity because she apparently cared about the library. Although, (y/n) would bet she'd never stepped in it once. 

"Are you guys serious?" She asked, exchanging a confused glance with her husband when he paused over the next crime. It was almost laughable, swearing they were pulling their legs - Captain Man didn't read unless it was with his head in his sweet girl's lap as she dictated one of her romance novels whilst playing with his hair. 

"Of course we are!"

"Libraries are a treasure trove of infinite knowledge!" The Macklin Twins replied in wonder-filled voices, more enchanted by a simple library than anyone would've ever thought. Mika was understandable, and Miles and Bose were perhaps a little far-fetched but interested in books, but Chapa? That was a surprise. 

"And adventure!" Bose couldn't help but add, grinning cheekily as he mystically waved his hands. He wasn't bright, but there was a book for everyone - and he loved the picture ones. 

"What?" Ray scoffed, glancing at all of them, but he didn't see anything to suggest a prank or elaborate joke. 

"Stealing books from the library is not just a crime against one person," Mika explained, looking at the adults like it was apparent, a weird, determined grimace on her face. She wasn't just thinking about glorifying crimes; she saw the bigger picture, and so did her brother. 

"It's a crime against the whole community!"

"And it will not stand!" Chapa bellowed, ripping the cowboy hat from her hand and slamming it down on her desk in a rage. By then, all the kids were on their feet, staring at their teachers, who still couldn't quite believe it. Were these the same kids who begged them to take them on incredible, exciting missions? The ones who were so eager for danger they caused a city-wide crime high?

"Okay, please tell us there's some sick turn coming," Ray said tentatively, barely able to focus on how his wife squished his bicep because he hated libraries. So dull and tacky. He preferred to defer those calls to his underlings, hopefully, the police, but they didn't laugh, call their bluffs, or shout sike! Their glares were steely and resolute, nails digging into palms at the thought of whichever scumbag stooped to stealing books. 

"Only thing comin' is vengeance."

"And adventure!" At least Bose was cute, still caught up in his musings on adventure - a stark contrast to his friends' harshness. 

"Because we love the library!" Miles insisted, almost teary-eyed at the thought of losing such a precious building. It was ridiculous to see him get so emotional, rowdily banging his fists in protest, and (y/n) saw that they were getting nowhere. She wasn't thrilled about it either, except maybe she'd pick up another cheesy novel, so she fluttered her eyelashes at her lover, knowing he'd need convincing. 

"Well, doofus, the crime's already in our shopping cart. Let's just hit checkout," she sighed, pointing at the screen in what was supposed to be a fun, quirky way to get the kids engaged in choosing their missions. She thought it was cute, giving Ray her brightest smile, squeezing his huge arm, even if he returned a bored, joyless face. 

"God, sweetheart, we're surrounded by nerds..." he groaned, but how could he refuse her when she looked so pretty? Glancing back down at his PearPad, he hit the library crime tab, pulling open a page about the brief information they'd received, and it still didn't sound fun. "All right, give me a second to read the details..."

"Okay, let's see... Okay, look! They didn't steal all the books. They left like ten copies of that one," the man pointed out when he saw the crime scene photo - a quick snapshot of one of the shelves, which still had a few novels propped up in the middle. He didn't see the fuss until one of the kids looked closer...

"Hey, what book is that?" Miles asked, squinting at the screen because he swore he'd seen it before. It looked so familiar, and it wasn't until Ray zoomed in that they all realised something tragic. Hilarious, but tragic--well, it was if you were its author. 

"It is...Oh. My. God." Sitting there on the shelf, much to Ray's bitter disappointment, were ten copies of his book. His autobiography. Dozens of pages about his favourite subject. Himself. Thousands of words about Captain Man's life, hopes, and dreams, how he became a superhero, what he did in his free time, how he scored a beauty like Miss Danger, and it was all there for the citizens of Swellview to read. Because some philistine left it behind--probably on purpose. 

All the colour drained from his face before a deep scrape poured back in, and he slammed the tablet on the lectern as his wife and students bit back chuckles. It was a bit funny - the irony of it all - but (y/n) tried not to show it, instantly smushing herself into his back as the hero stared at the humiliating insult, jaw clenched and eyes hard. 

"Is that you on the cover?" Chapa asked, even though it was unmistakably Captain Man. He had the mask and everything, looking all smug with a stupidly long title since he could never stop bragging. Yeah, it was definitely his book. 

"Yes."

"And they left it there?" Mika asked, too, trying to remain sympathetic and kind, but it was hard. The situation was funny, not that anyone could tell Ray that. 

"Yes."

"All ten copies, doof?" (y/n) cringed, stroking his back to try and be comforting, but it didn't really help. Nothing could soften the blow of being so deeply insulted by some two-bit criminal, and Ray wasn't the type of man to take such abuse lying down. All he could do was stare at the floor and try not to cry in front of the kids, knowing they were already amused - they'd never let him forget the day a bad guy made him sob. 

"Yes."

"They literally stole every book in the library except yours?" Miles sniggered, rubbing salt in the hero's wound. He was intentionally mean, seeing the irony more than he did. Still, it burned Ray's soul, making him want to bury his face in his wife's neck or hide under their bedsheets until a millennia had passed. Anything to avoid the shame. 

"Someone's gonna fry tonight!" Ray snarled, his face screwed up in anguish and fury. No one, save his pretty girl, knew how hard he'd worked on that damn book - and literacy wasn't his strongest suit - angering him enough to make him want to squish something small. So, he did. 

His fist came down on the plate of doughnuts from Miles and Bose's little picnic earlier, finding the squelch of the pastry under his hand deliciously satisfying. The brutal blow made it look like a pancake, squeezing the jammy filling out like some kind of sugary cannon, and unfortunately, Bose was its target. 

A sticky, red blob hit him in the neck as Chapa cheered, ecstatic about gaining permission to electrify some no-good hooligans. Yet, she quickly frowned when her friend stumbled back. The jelly trickled down his uniform, clinging to his skin, but (y/n) barely reached for a tissue when the colour drained from his face--like he'd taken a fatal jam bullet to the torso. 

"I'm hit!" He groaned before collapsing, playing every bit the wounded soldier as Chapa looked down on him in disgust, wondering what all the fuss was about. 

"Relax, it's just--"

"This is the end for old Bosey..." the boy sniffled breathlessly like the wind had been knocked out of him, even as Mika and Miles gathered around his near-corpse, trying to soothe his grievances. "Confession time! I'm the one that stole that garden gnome."

"Well, Holmes, another case solved," (y/n) joked, smiling up at her husband with a dorky grin as Bose relaxed against the floor, going all floppy like he'd breathed his last. 

Ray giggled with her, nuzzling their noses until he found her honeyed lips - an entirely inappropriate reaction for such a sombre moment - if the kid had croaked it. No matter how long he kept his eyes closed or how much his tongue lolled out of his mouth, he wasn't fooling anyone. Certainly not Chapa, who watched in utter disdain. 

"Dude, you're fine. That's jelly," she retorted dryly, and miraculously, Bose's hand, stiff with rigor mortis, curled up to his neck to dab at the sticky substance. He licked his fingertips, lips twitching upwards when the pleasant sweetness caressed his tastebuds, and Bose decided death wasn't on his list so soon--not when the jam tasted so good. 

"So it is! Raspberry, if I'm not mistaken!" He grinned, looking as vacant as ever as they all sighed. 

Still, he wasn't as weird as the trash can, sitting quietly and innocently while it spontaneously bursting into flames without much warning. The fire came out of nowhere, spooking the group since (y/n) had definitely doused it with the gas. Weird - what kind of gag was that?

"Uh-oh! Hot can!" Ray remarked as he watched the bin smoulder, forcing his beloved wife to retrieve the extinguisher with a long, tired groan. 

"That thing does not want to stay out!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you'd just recycled like a normal person, doofus," (y/n) grumbled as she lugged the metal cylinder across the room, fully intending on emptying the damn thing if it meant the fire would be put out. And, of course, as she worked, the others laughed, thinking it was hilarious that their trash can defied physics or whatever--since they didn't have to work to stop the place from burning down. 

"We also wouldn't be laughing, darlin', so I mean..." Ray replied sassily, cackling with his fellow hyenas as the woman paused before the blaze, pondering her next move. 

With one hand on her hip, she narrowed her eyes at her husband, knowing he wouldn't find it funny for long when she played her trump card. Her sharp glare made the children shrink back a little, more scared of her than they were of the idiot in the red and blue spandex, dampening their spirits as Ray batted his eyelashes. 

He was an idiot, but at least he was a pretty idiot. An adorable idiot, worthy of an empty threat, as (y/n) smirked and jutted her hip out, never leaving his eye. 

"You'll be laughing tonight while sleeping on the couch."

"No, sweet girl!" Now, that gave them something to laugh about. 

~The Man's Nest~

Upstairs, the team had assembled to track down their prey now that they'd caught the scent. 

They were looking for a scumbag who wasn't below stealing books from children, old people, and every other vulnerable person in the city, but that didn't really narrow it down. Who knows what lowlifes were lurking in the shadows? 

The kids didn't really want to find out, looking to their teachers for guidance as they loitered around the room--or, in Bose and Miles' case, stretched together on the floor, foot-to-foot to really pull those lower back muscles. Luckily, though, whoever this jerk was, he'd made the mistake of forcing Captain Man's hand, making the man his enemy, and God, the guy was angry. 

Not even (y/n) could soothe his temper, quietly observing his pissed-off pacing around the room as he imagined he would beat the crook's ass one hundred ways. No one messed with his book and got away with it, no one made him look like a fool, and no one, not even some smart Alec little bastard, stole all the romance novels before his precious wife got to read them all. 

What would she do in the bath if she didn't have a book?

"All right! Who's ready to break some teeth?" He growled as he twirled a rope-like weapon in his hand, threatening to whack someone's eye out if he wasn't careful. 

"Always!" Chapa replied immediately, squirming eagerly on the couch because that sounded like her type of fun, and it wasn't often she was allowed to truly release some anger on the criminals, no matter how scummy they were. Something about morals--whatever (y/n) thought they were. 

"Ready in a bit!"

"Just gotta do a little stretching first!" Miles and Bose added, still in their shared teddy bear pose as they leaned forwards and backwards, enjoyed how their spines cracked and relaxed with each gentle stretch. Still, it made their teacher impatient, sticking out his bottom lip and practically stamping his foot as they remained on the floor instead of following orders. 

"But I want to break teeth now!"

"We don't even know whose teeth to break yet," Mika argued from her seat at the mini-supercomputer, flicking between PearPads as she researched who it could be. Still, there were a lot of bad guys in Swellview. It could've been any of them, and she didn't know where to start. 

On the other hand, Ray was particularly smug, stomping over to her with his arm roughly thrown around (y/n) 's neck, presenting her to the girl with a proud smirk--and not just because he got to marry her and she didn't. 

"Wrong! I just uploaded a list of the most likely suspects. Tell her, sweet girl!"

"Um, Mika, if you'd just..." (y/n) smiled awkwardly as her doofus nudged her encouragingly, if a little impatiently. As he crowded her, seeking affection, the girl humoured her, tapping the screens a little until she found the list the mad had made. 

It was long--really long, and not very specific, including names ranging from the big baddies like The Toddler and Doctor Minyak to those not even worth their time like Jeff or Mr Nice Guy. Hell, even Chapa was there for some reason, much to the heroine's frustration. This was why she didn't let her husband write the shopping list--he'd come home with God knows what. 

"Doofus, this is literally every criminal in Swellview." She frowned, squinting at the list and gulping at the thought of roaming the city to find them all. Surely, the books were above The Toddler's usual crime habits. Yet, Ray just looked pleased with himself, squeezing her in his embrace since he knew how much she loved his updated uniform and how much bigger it made him feel. 

"Yeah! Plus, a couple of people I just don't like."

"They're scattered all over town! It's going to take us ages to get through them all," she added, giving him a sceptical glance, but he just shrugged. 

"Well, we better get going. We got a long night ahead of us, and I want to be back here, watching a movie on the couch with my wife by two. Hope you're wearing your teeth-breaking pants!" The hero growled, taking his pretty girl by the hand and turning toward the door, hoping to burn through the list so they could enjoy a quiet night together—fat chance. 

"One of those dots is me!" Chapa called out, standing up when she read her name on the screen. Her face contorted in anger and offence, knowing that her boss had counted her amongst the scum - robbers, criminals, those he didn't like. But honestly, Ray wasn't ashamed, not even when (y/n) quirked her eyebrow at him in a mini-glare. 

"Well, where were you last night? Huh?" He asked accusingly, snarling at the girl as he doubled back and marched up to her. "Out stealing every book in Swellview except mine?!"

"Calm down, doofus..." (y/n) soothed him, wincing slightly when his relatively calm tone turned cruel and sharp. She knew he was upset, but she wouldn't let him be nasty, noticing how a pang of hurt passed Chapa's face, utterly disgusted at such an accusation. 

"I don't steal books! I'm not a monster!" She bit back, folding her arms and staring at him from the couch. He wasn't a harsh man by any means - his wife would vouch for his deeply ingrained kindness - but his tendency for rudeness genuinely wounded the girl. Did people really see her as someone who'd stoop so low?

"We'll see..." the man muttered, admitting defeat for now as he turned his back on her, petting his wife's head like she were a cat. They slunk away, Ray content to let his lover fuss over him since she was so good at distracting him, and that allowed the kids to think with interruption. 

"I got a better way to find the criminal," Mika said, eyeing the couple as her friend pecked her husband's nose, bringing a sickly saccharine smile to his face - so adorable, it was almost disgusting. 

"Better than spending six to eight days walking all over town, collecting criminal teeth to get that sweet, sweet coin from the Tooth Fairy until we randomly happen upon some random criminal that admits to stealing the books? I'd like to hear it!"

"You've got to stop watching those True Crime shows, Ray..." The heroine shook her head, knowing he was getting carried away again and letting his inner child run rampant. Still, Mika brushed over it--in the right while he was in the wrong as always. 

"Well, you know that place, The Beatin' Dungeon?" She questioned smugly, and the couple instantly had flashbacks to happier times. 

It was months ago, making (y/n) smile at the thought of her last family reunion and how her then fiancé--which was so weird to think about--nearly worried himself sick without her in his arms. It was so bad that he needed a pick-me-up, growing bored with his day-in, day-out fights against the same-old criminals, so he signed up to fight some loser. He never thought he'd find common ground with The Toddler, but it was almost magical - Henry Hart's work, of course. 

Just thinking about the kid made their smiles sour, and the woman made a mental note to try and call the kid whenever she had a free minute--just to see how her babies were doing. God, she missed them, sharing a brief, teary glance with her soulmate, and she knew he was thinking the same. Happy times...

"I barely know where I am right now..." Bose replied honestly, not jokingly, bringing them back to reality, and four new kids needed guidance. They had a job and quickly moved on from memory lane as the boys stopped stretching and got on their feet. 

"The Beatin' Dungeon is this place where villains and heroes get together to fight each other for fun," (y/n) explained, leaving out the bits where her doofus failed to secure a decent opponent despite being Captain Man. It wasn't her style, a little crude and brutish to brawl for fun, but others thought differently...

"Sweat! When do we go?" Chapa asked excitedly, hopping off the couch with an eager readiness to start breaking faces; a fight club was precisely her idea of fun. 

"Tomorrow night. It's Villains Only Night," Mika replied, giving the girl a confident smirk after researching the supercomputer, unlike Ray, who was all action and had no brains in her eyes. Yet, the man wasn't entirely clueless, rolling his eyes and scoffing when he heard her glorious master plan. 

"So?"

"So, we get Schwoz to make up some bad guys costumes..." Miles supposed, seeing what his sister had planned, although they'd need to find the genius in whatever hole he crawled into. He was still strangely mortified for some reason...

"We head down The Beatin' Dungeon..."

"And adopt a rescue dog that we bring home and say, in a way, he rescued us!" Bose finished, happily concluding his friends' scheme, although he'd gotten a little lost. They all looked at him with tired, if slightly bemused, expressions, wondering how they could be angry at those dimples, even if he were such hard work. Still, though, (y/n) perked up at the news of a puppy...

"So close..."

"Was he?" Miles murmured to Chapa as they both cringed, clueless about what went through that boy's head. Surely, it had to be filled with cotton wool; grimacing at his simpleness as Mika awkwardly carried on. 

"Or...we hang out and see if any criminals are bragging about stealing books from the library," the girl suggested, glancing at Ray and (y/n) for permission, and whilst the man looked slightly bitter for not thinking of something so clever, his sweet girl grinned and nodded. 

"Sounds good to me!" The woman exclaimed as Miles and Chapa agreed, keen to go somewhere dark and dangerous--to mingle amongst the criminal throngs and intercept their enemy in his den. They loved the thrill of it, especially if it meant wearing a weird costume. 

"Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some Captain in it!" But Ray had other ideas, sticking his cheesy grin in the mix, even if it made the kids' faces fall. 

"I don't know what that means..."

"Me neither." Mika and Chapa remarked dryly, giving the hero a confused look as he swaggered like a testosterone-fulled peacock. Instead, they looked at (y/n), hoping she'd translate whatever he was saying since she spent every waking minute with him--loved him, even his...more annoying parts. 

"He thinks he has an idea..." she told them, hovering by her husband and squishing his beefy arm, curling around her waist and bringing her flush against him. Something about him looked extra handsome from that angle - perhaps extra tall, broad, or rugged, looking down at her gently before giving the kids a stern gaze. 

"Also, about that puppy..." She fluttered her eyelashes and raked a palm down his chiselled chest, using all her tricks to try and persuade him that Bose might be onto something there. She'd always been a sucker for cute puppies, even though they were perfectly content with Colin the rabbit. 

"We're not getting a dog, sweet girl," Ray told her firmly but kindly, following up with a sweet kiss on her pouting, honeyed lips. He wanted to give her the world, but that sounded like hell, cleaning up after another animal with all the younglings crawling all over their home. It broke his heart to say no, but (y/n) didn't take it personally, satisfied with the kiss for now, even when he pulled away. 

"Aw..."

"It means..." Ray said to Danger Force as he tried to move on, stumbling slightly when his wife reached onto his tiptoes and planted a clumsy smooch on the stretched expanse of his neck. He gulped, shivering at the ticklish sensation as Chapa and the boys grimaced, with only Mika thinking their affection was mildly romantic as the heroine pulled away with a besotted expression. 

"It means it's up to me to point out that nobody ever goes to Villains Only Night. Check out their Fakebook page," he told them, tapping on the PearPads before finding a sad, lonely social media account with little to no followers or traffic. It was just saddos on bar stools, drinking their sorrows away as they waited for something fun to happen, not that it ever did. 

And was that The Lawn Ranger Ray saw? God, seeing that weirdo again sent shivers down his spine from the mere thought of his loser aura. 

"I thought of that, and I have a solution!" But Mika had it covered, grinning at the sceptical hero as his arms shook around his sweet girl with smug laughter. There was no way...

"Pfft! A better solution than spending six to eight days walking all over town, collecting criminal--"

"Yes, doofus! We're not going through that again," (y/n) interrupted, clamping her palm over his mouth so he couldn't repeat his rant. His lips pursed against her, pecking her sensitive skin, making her giggle, but at least he shut up, going limp and soft in her arms because who was he to talk back to his beloved wife?

"We just have to offer something else that everyone loves," Mika said like it was simple, and even Ray couldn't agree with that. 

"Like face painting!" And for once, Bose was helpful, and no one could say they saw something wrong with the lighthearted, childish, and harmless. Even villains loved the face painting, so the girl quickly typed it into the Fakebook page, advertising the new activity for all to see. Meanwhile, Chapa and Miles rambled about their favourite designs, something about cute squiggles on their eyes and cheeks. 

"Wait a minute--that's not gonna work!" Ray remarked as he embraced his wife, but the replies flooded in when Mika sent the post. Dozens of criminals, villains, and general scumbags instantly commented their support, pledging they'd attend Villains Only Night for the face painting - the most brilliant idea yet. 

"It seems like it's working, doof..." (y/n) whispered to her lover, giving him a soft smile since he'd been proven wrong - his worst nightmare. Still, he wasn't a sore loser...too much. 

"Fine! But where are you gonna find somebody to paint faces, huh? For free!?" He asked, sneering at Mika since he didn't want to fork out for such a simple mission, not when he could spend that money on something much more deserving, like his wife. 

But Miles had other ideas. Getting to his feet, the boy threw his head back, inhaling deeply before he released an ear-shattering bellow--loud enough to make everyone jump, and the walls felt like they were shaking. 

"SCHWOZZZZZ!" He screeched to the heavens, and low and behold, the fuzzy little coconut appeared. He'd been hiding in an alcove in the ceiling, strapped snuggly in a harness so he could read Ray's beloved book in peace without any more incidents. God, it was still burned into his eyelids, a faint blush dusted over his cheeks as he descended from whichever nook or cranny he'd been avoiding his boss in. 

"Yes?"

"AHH!" Everyone jumped, yelping when he dropped down out of nowhere like a goddamn bat, making (y/n) cower into her doofus' arms as he frowned. So, that's where the little weirdo had hurried off, licking his wounds because he couldn't knock. 

"Can you paint faces?" Miles asked calmly, despite how rapidly his heart pounded. 

"Yes." Schwoz nodded - one of his many hidden skills, although he wasn't sure why the boy wanted to know. He'd had enough shenanigans for one day. 

"For free?" Mika questioned further, smiling brightly at the genius, even though she wasn't sure why he wouldn't look in her direction. He wouldn't even glance toward Ray and (y/n), knowing he'd turn a deep red if he made eye contact, so he stared straight ahead, at one of the kids, or at the propped-open novel in his hand. 

"Yes."

"We need you to go to The Beatin' Dungeon tomorrow night," Chapa instructed him, and the guy readily agreed, hoping to get back to his book. It wasn't like he had much else to do. God knows he didn't fancy wandering the Man's Nest halls again after what happened a few hours earlier, so he nodded casually. Sometimes, it was just nice to be part of something, and painting faces sounded fun. 

"Ho-kay!" He smiled before tapping a remote control in his pocket and rising into the rocky crannies above their heads to read in peace. It was like he couldn't wait to leave...and why did he look so pink?

"You gotta make us some bad guy costumes, Schwozie!--Please!" (y/n) added, calling after him despite how awkward it made her feel. Ray had no shame, smirking at how shy his nosy handyman was when he openly nuzzled his wife's hair, but at least she had the decency to use her manners. If he was embarrassed, she was mortified, remembering how he must've gotten the full show for ten seconds before they realised what was happening. It made her face feel like lava...

"Ho-kay..." his meek response shouted back, burying his burning nose into the pages of Ray's early career before those horrifically vivid memories returned. 

"And you gotta let us adopt a dog!" Bose shouted, nudging (y/n) as she giggled and nodded enthusiastically, much to her husband's exasperation. Two against one was hardly fair...

"No-kay!" 

"Fine! But if I steal another garden gnome to fill the void inside me, it's your fault!" The boy snapped harshly before whipping around and storming out of the Nest--throwing an utter tantrum, much to his friends' confusion. 

Well, at least Schwoz was on his side, even if he'd spent the morning burning bed sheets and scrubbing the walls, floors, tables, and chairs. Who knows what had been defiled? He certainly didn't want to think about it. 

~The next day~

Sometime later, Schowz had forgotten about his blushes. Of course, he'd never forget the embarrassment, avoiding eye contact as he dashed around the room, but he had a job. He couldn't prepare their covert mission if his eyes were on the floor, so he soon jumped to it, fiddling with God knows what as the kids ran riot around the room. 

They were bored, numbingly so, almost bored to tears by the time he was nearly ready, prodding and poking (y/n) as she patiently waited for their disguises to be finished. Schwoz's unique gumballs took time, but finally, they were ready, making Miles bound up to Bose as the long-haired boy relaxed in the chair near his mini locker. 

"Bose! Get over here! Schwoz is giving us our bad guy costumes!"

"Swet! We bad guys now?" He asked, quickly standing up and following his friend as he tossed his headphones into Chapa's chair since he didn't need them anymore. 

The girls gathered around, too, having sat around the couch table, nattering about this and that--mainly gossiping about what Ray was like behind closed doors. Even the surly girl couldn't help but lean in close when Mika asked if he was a sweetheart. However, she regretted her choice when the heroine gushed about her ever-loving husband and all the beautiful things he did for her - supposedly. 

"No, we're still good. We just need to look all mean and evil," (y/n) explained, petting the boy as he smiled pleasantly, looking slightly confused. As if they'd ever stoop so low...the thought of all those dark and angsty clothes and rude attitudes made her nose wrinkle. 

"So, we can go undercover to Villains Only Night at the Beatin' Dungeon..."

"And find whoever stole those books from the library," Mika and Chapa explained, even though they'd run through this fifty times. It was like he never learned or didn't listen, or perhaps he was just a bit slow. 

"Okay, cool! I just came up with a great bad guy persona for myself..." Bose noted as Schwoz slowly came over with a tray of five glowing gumballs, all coded with whatever outfit he'd assigned for them. It had taken him hours to perfect his craft; the kid's suggestion was late and awkward. "I want to be...Bad Bose!"

"That's definitely bad, but not in the way you're thinking," Mika retorted, trying to spare his feelings, even as they chuckled at the terrible name. It made him happy - Schwoz, on the other hand...

"Oh, I'm not thinking at all. That's my secret..."

"It took me all night to make these bad guy gumballs, so the rule is you get what you get, and you don't get upset," the genius told them, barely glancing at the woman, but he stared at the children. They were more likely to complain since (y/n) didn't have a single argumentative bone in her body, not after he'd seen more of it than he ever wanted to. 

Danger Force argued otherwise, building up their expectations for their big night, and their costumes had to be good. If Schwoz had given them something awful, he'd hear about it. 

"No frowny-making, no head-shaking, no bellyaching, no offence-taking. You just chew and blow, and off you go!" He said curtly, hoping to get some peace and quiet whilst they were out - a chance to get the trauma he'd witnessed out of his head. He strolled along the lineup, handing each superhero a gumball with their assigned persona, and they all peered at the funky candy suspiciously. Would they really be satisfied with what he'd chosen? 

There was only one way to find out: swallowing the gumball and chewing quickly before blowing their bubbles. Much like when they transformed into their super-suits, the costumes materialised them, ranging from creepy to cool to downright weird. Everything was dark, sharp, and dangerous, with thick makeup and crazy wigs shielding their identities whilst giving that criminal aesthetic. They definitely looked like criminals - it was almost scary. 

"Nice..."

"What have you done to me?!"

"Love this!"

"I look so angsty..." There were mixed responses, with Chapa and Bose loving their new looks, while (y/n), Chapa, and Miles weren't so impressed. They walked the path of righteousness, and looking so evil wasn't their style, especially when the boy's outfit looked so...kooky. Like some kind of psycho hillbilly, Miles looked ridiculous in a bright red shirt and overalls with a silly little brown cowboy hat and, worse, a long, frizzy, coarse beard, which was so long it went down to his knees like a hairy waterfall. 

"You are Weird Beard...because your beard is weeeeeeeeird," Schwoz giggled to himself, tugging on Miles' thick, glued-on facial hair, much to the boy's annoyance, especially when he heard the mockery. It tickled his face and pulled on his skin, not to mention how it caught between his legs and nearly made him trip, so indeed, he could've come up with something better than that. 

"Dah-dah-dah--what did I say?" But he couldn't complain when Schwoz shook his finger in his face, angered by how he threw his head back and groaned loudly. 

"I mean, I love it," Miles replied dryly, looking less than in love with his costume, but what could he do? He'd just have to look like some hick in his country-style clothes and ignore how much he hated the weird, irritating beard. 

"Good!" Schwoz smiled before moving on to Mika, who looked particularly frantic with her hideously malicious-looking costume. 

(y/n) had never seen her in something so dark and creepy, what with her all-black, all-denim jeans and jacket covered in strategically placed barbed wire. It wrapped around her legs and looped around her waist before crossing her chest in an intricately dangerous design that would scratch anyone who came too close. It even snaked into her hair - a tall, crazy wig that stretched to the ceiling, thanks to three cans of hairspray. 

Her makeup consisted of smoky eyeshadow, black lipstick, and delicately painted tattoos, spooking everyone who saw her, including herself, and she freaked at the thought of being so...mean. 

"Why is mine so scary?!" She asked Schwoz in a panicked voice, feeling miles away from her usual bright, cheery, approachable attire. 

"Because you're a villain--The Mangler!" He told her like it was obvious, having said that they needed to look scary, so he made her look terrifying. Honestly, some people were so ungrateful...

"I know, but does it have to be this scary? What if I was something like...The Pretty Bad Pony?! Or just...The Pretty Pony?--" She rambled, praying for something pink, glittery, and girlish, but Schwoz ignored her. He brushed past without another word, leaving her disguise as it was since she was meant to look devilish, not like a My Little Pony. 

"You're The Mangler! This is your mangling stick..." he told her firmly before passing over a disgusting-looking lump of wood. It was like a snatched plank of wood, so splintery and rotten that he needed to wrap a bandage around the end to protect her soft little hands. That and the other end was riddled with rusty nails and more barbed wire, which would undoubtedly give anyone tetanus if they were scratched or pierced by the macabre shards of metal. 

"Is this dried blood?" Mika gulped as she inspected her signature weapon, only to feel the sticky, smelly substance smeared on her fingertips, and she knew blood when she saw it. Where and what had he been doing with it?

"Yes, it will dry eventually." The thought could make her vomit, but he quickly smiled at Chapa, who didn't look too different in her terrifying clothing. 

"You are El Stabador..." he explained, gesturing to her black jacket and breeches, which looked like an emo matador costume with brassy buttons and smart, patent leather shoes. But there were metal spikes on her shoulders, half a demonic skull face painted on her face, and her hair had been styled and sprayed into a spiky quiff. So, coupled with her usual terrifying scowl, she looked terrifying, much to her delight since everyone always insisted on looking so cute and cuddly. 

"¡Claro que sí! Y mi destino es--" She grinned, calling upon her inner Latina since these were the clothes of her ancestors, not that Schwoz gave two shits. He quickly looked at Bose, who had to be the strangest out of the kids, wearing something that could've only come from the genius' diseased imagination. 

"And you are a Yerban Santa Claus, who takes to us from kids, then punches them," he described to the overjoyed boy, who loved his freaky getup. 

He got to wear a thick, furry suit that made him look like half-man, half-bear, except for his wild, bushy wig, which protruded two curled horns. His face looked hideous, changed into a horrifying snarl, thanks to thick white face paint, arched eyebrows, and a prosthetic nose. No one could ever see through the disguise, and he even freaked (y/n) out a little bit as she hovered beside him. 

"I can do that. Do I get a bloody stick?" 

"Yes!" Mika nodded quickly, instantly offering him her mangling stick before it made her sick, and it nearly took off Bose's fake nose as she waved it under his chin. 

"Watch where you wave that thing, guys..." (y/n) remarked as she jumped back, scared to take a nail to the eye as Bose twirled it through the air like a magic wand; only she'd need more than witchcraft to patch up whatever damage that thing did. Her costume was cute yet creepy, a subtle order from Ray since he didn't want his sweet girl to be too far out of her comfort zone, so Schowz had gone down a classic horror movie route. 

"(y/n), tonight, you will be Doll Face..." Schwoz told her without meeting her eye, a faint blush dusted on his cheeks as (y/n) clutched a morbidly gory teddy bear dotted with blood and gouged slightly to look extra scary. It was like something from a slasher film, and she felt like another person as her palms sweated in her black gloves. 

But that was her whole aesthetic as a frighteningly creepy little girl, clad in her gothic, lolita dress, knee-high mesh stockings, heeled boots, and a black wig, plaited into two braids that hung beside her drawn, gaunt face. Her lips were painted a deep red, and there was a teardrop and a heart stained on her skin for a toy-like effect, completing her possessed dolly appearance. 

"Hopefully, never again..." she muttered as she smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in her skirt, ignoring how Schowz skedaddled away before he could look at her too much, cheeks flaming with mortification. God, he needed to get over himself; what did he think married couples did when they had a few hours to themselves?

"Okay, time to head to The Beatin' Dungeon..."

"Hang on, we're missing our resident doofus." (y/n) stopped everyone before the genius could shove them out of the door because, as much as everyone thought he was an idiot, she knew his strength and experience would be invaluable as they entered enemy territory. And, speaking of the devil...

A loud, shrill, cawing sound came from the hallway across the room, seeming like a bird with a sore throat was trapped behind the steel door. Of course, it was just Ray, who was over the moon with how ridiculous and bizarre his specially designed disguise was. 

He'd made it himself, but that didn't come as a surprise as the door slowly ascended to reveal his...bird costume. Like some kind of feathered Batman, he had a thick, dark hood over his head, which cast a shadow over his masked face since he didn't want to risk anyone recognising him. His nose was made to look like a hooked beak, matching the long, greyish-black feathers stitched onto his sleeves to give him a bird-like appearance. Well, a bird wearing a brown waistcoat and slacks, that is. 

"Oh...I forgot about Ray," Schwoz grumbled as the man dramatically revealed himself, much to (y/n)'s, even though she didn't like how creepy everyone looked. She skipped over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders, uncaring of his need for dramatic flare since it had been a whole hour since they'd rolled out of bed, and that was the last she saw him. 

But, as much as she wanted to embrace him, hold him close, and kiss him, Ray was a little too into his new role. 

"Ray no longer exists. He's been re-hatched...as Hawkfist!" He growled in a throaty voice, looking effortlessly cool and mysterious with his makeup and hood, but his name, attitude, and vibe...they were tragic. And (y/n) pouted as he boldly stood before her, brushing away her arms when she went for a hug so that he could pose and scowl like some wronged vigilante with a tragic backstory. 

"Doofus!" She complained, looking petulant in her childlike attire as she stamped her booted foot and crossed her arms to the backtrack of his shrill caw-caw! He was so busy trying to convince everyone that his outfit was cool that he didn't think twice about his beloved wife, not even as she pursed her lips and frowned, scuffing her heel against the ground. 

"Hatched? So...you were once an egg?" Miles questioned flatly as the children stood there with Schwoz, unimpressed and unresponsive, save that they felt a little sorry for (y/n) as she pouted, jilted and lonely. 

"I guess," Ray replied, having not really thought anything through except he wanted to be mysterious and foreboding. 

"And if you're re-hatched...that means you hatched twice?" Chapa added with a slight smirk when she realised how stupid his character was and how he stumbled when they pointed it out. There was no arguing with him, but God, he was so easy to wind up. 

"If that's what I said, then yes," the hero sniffed, trying to stay calm under pressure, but they kept going. 

"Do hawks even have fists?" Mika asked, folding her arms as she ridiculed him without mercy--anything to make him antsy since he upset her friend when all she wanted was a little affection. Perhaps that was petty, but that outfit was awful, clearly something from his mind and not Schwoz's.

"This one does."

"So, who were your parents?" Bose furthered, prompting the hero to become properly annoyed with their incessant questioning when he really didn't know the answer. 

"I don't know! A hawk and a fist--why don't you guys shut up?!" He growled defensively, hands still clenched by his face, although he didn't feel as epic now. If anything, he regretted his costume choice, wishing he'd gone with something that made more sense, but it was too late - the mockery didn't stop. 

"Because we have a lot of questions about...this," Miles retorted, vaguely gesturing to all of him--the entire weird ensemble. 

"There's no time. To The Beatin' Dungeon! Caw-caw!" Ray declared, desperate to avoid the awkward situation as he clawed the air and shrieked that awful shriek. 

It was loud enough to deafen everyone as he flapped toward his sweet girl, suddenly overcome with the need to hold her in his arms after an hour apart. He'd had his moment of glory, and now, he focused on her, beak-like face turning into a smile as he went to embrace her and find those honeyed lips. Yet, to his surprise and almost disgust, when his hands found her hips, she pushed them away and stubbornly stuck her nose in the air. It was a shock to all who watched, not just the baffled hero. 

"Sweet girl? I wanna kiss..." he mumbled, leaning in again with hooded eyes and a voracious hunger, but (y/n) was in the mood to play. Even if it was slightly childish, she wanted to teach him a lesson for leaving her hanging, no matter how much she craved his lips against hers. 

"Sorry, Hawkfist, but I only kiss my husband," she replied firmly, but there was a hint of teasing behind her tone. His face fell in disappointment and confusion, which slightly tugged on her heartstrings, but she stood fast, even when those big, warm hands rubbed her hips suggestively. 

"But that's me...we got married." Ray pouted, hugging his beloved wife closer as he reflected on his life's best, most precious day. He waited years to make her his, so to be denied what his heart truly desired was devastating. 

"You said Ray no longer exists. I suppose that makes me a widow, right?"

"Never." His reply was instantaneous and absolute, his grip tightening on her skin as his brow furrowed. He'd never leave her, and he wrinkled his nose at how she so obviously teased him, looping her arms around his shoulders and grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Of course, their wedding rings would still sparkle if they wore them under their costumes, and he hated how everyone poked fun at his choice. 

"I'll kiss my doofus," (y/n) declared, withholding her lips when he tried to lean in again by using her fingers as a barrier. He kissed her palm instead, making her tummy tingle, and the children rolled their eyes at how disgustingly affectionate they were. She was adamant that she'd kiss the man she married, her beloved Ray, especially when he did that silly voice. 

"That's me."

"He doesn't speak like that. Do you need a lozenge or something?" She retorted upon hearing his husky, Hawkfist tone, thinking it sounded like he had a sore throat, even if the slight possessive note made her gulp. She loved whenever those baritone notes of his hit her ears, how he teased her, and how he whispered such loving words, none of which was the same if he kept playing the role. 

"I want a kiss, sweet girl..." the hero demanded sternly, now craving her honey more than ever, although it still eluded him that he'd unknowingly ignored her first advances. He wasn't a patient man, but (y/n)? She had all the time in the world. 

"And I want my husband, so I guess we're at a stalemate."

"Guess so..." He shrugged, settling for a mere peck on the forehead when she flat-out refused, giving a steadfastly stubborn and challenging look as he gazed down at her. Still, he noticed how her eyes fluttered shut when his lips met her skin, and that was enough to tell him of her love and how this was just a game. Perhaps it would make everything sweeter in the end, but nothing was more precious than her...

"You'll want one soon, though, pretty girl. Caw-caw!" With one final shrill - since he couldn't get what he wanted most - Ray took off with a slight pout, skipping and flapping his wings as he headed to the door. It was pretty comical to watch, given that he was a grown man prancing around like a child. Yet, when he ran toward the mountainside without slowing down, it was painfully obvious what the doofus planned to do. 

"Wait, Ray, you can't fly, you big doofus!" His beloved wife cried after him, and it delayed him a little. She was the only one he'd ever wait for, but even so, in his pouty, doofy state, Ray didn't have his thinking hat on. 

"Ray can't--but Hawkfist can! Caw-caw!" He growled determinedly, keen to show them his costume's brilliance, but it couldn't work miracles. For all his talents and prowess, not even Captain Man could sport wings and fly, not even to impress his sweet girl. 

"Raymond! That's the mountain! Don't be a doofus all your li--oh my god!" She yelled, yet it was too late. Ray was too far gone, leaping through the doors without a second thought for safety or his friends' advice. No, it was a great idea...until his indestructible, if squishy, body took the first blow on the steep, craggy rock face. 

The first cries of pain reached their ears, and it was more than (y/n) could bear, forcing herself to hide her face in Schwoz's shoulder. 

Damn, their embarrassment; she hated the thought of her doofus rolling down the mountain like a bouncy ball, no matter his indestructibility. He smelled like engine oil and paint - like every handyman she'd ever met - and it was oddly comforting, especially when he kindly wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders. Chapa found it hilarious, struggling to smother her giggles in front of her friend, but (y/n) only heard her lover and his anguished cries. 

Remind her never to withhold his kisses again, although she'd definitely kiss his boo-boos better. Anything for her doofus. 

~The Beatin' Dungeon~

This place never changes...

(y/n) thought to herself as she immersed herself in the dark, dirty, dangerous converted warehouse that was The Beatin' Dungeon. It had everything a villain could want: spare rooms for evil rendezvouses, a grungy, rundown bar, plenty of fighting gear, and enough space for criminal misdeeds. 

They could whisper and plot anything in the shadows without worrying about the cops infiltrating the premises. No one got past the guards at the front door, who scrupulously turned away anyone they deemed a goody-two-shoes. No superheroes would pass the threshold on their watch, allowing their villainous colleagues to gather in their swarms on the inside. That is, if six supers didn't sneak in...

God, she remembered everything about The Beatin' Dungeon as she stuck to Ray's--or Hawkfist--side, dodging every mean, ugly mug that glared her way when they navigated through the swathes of people. She barely liked parties as it was, but this was way beyond her depth - pretending to be evil, enjoying it even, but he commanded their chitchat effortlessly. 

Ray was a natural, probing and interrogating every asshole who dared to get in his path as the children followed his lead. With a hand on the small of his wife's back, the hooded hero and Doll Face mingled politely, trying to dig deeper whilst keeping an eye on Danger Force. There were three very simple rules: don't hit the bar, don't get caught, and don't die. (y/n) didn't think that was much to ask as she briefly hugged each kid and sent them off, stressing to her doofus that it was like sending lambs to the slaughter--into the lion's den. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, look, that woman's looking at Chapa funny--I should go over there and knock her out--You know what? I'mma knock her out--"

"Sweet girl..." A calm, reassuring voice broke the heroine out of her ramble, and she glanced up to see her husband giving her a warm gaze. It didn't look right with his sharp makeup and dark hood, but those crystal blue eyes looked the same, looking at her with so much love as he called out and stroked his hand up and down her lower back. 

"Everything's fine. Just stay cool...and don't use our real names."

"Right, sorry...but are you sure? El Stabador--" (y/n) bit her lip, trying not to let the place's stench throw her guts up, but her worry sorted that. The girl stood next to a particularly cruel-looking woman near some barstools, much further away than Miles across the room or Bose, who hovered near his teachers. Boy, she didn't look happy when Chapa accidentally nudged her elbow, thus slipping some of her drink. 

"She's fine, darlin'. If any of the kids can handle themselves, it's her," Ray told her with a chuckle, noticing how the girl didn't even look bothered, giving the villainess such an intense glare that she looked away all sheepish. 

He knew he wasn't supposed to be too affectionate in public like this; after all, no one knew Hawkfist and Doll Face were married, and he didn't want any connections made, just in case. But it was damn tricky pretending to not be in love with her, especially when she worried in that pretty little head of hers. It was in her nature, yet even he couldn't help but keep four eyes on each child in a hole such as this, peering over a buffet table as his wards chatted with the scum he fought to keep behind bars. 

"True..." The woman nodded, pinching a tortilla chip from the table to nibble on as Ray and Bose exchanged a subtle glance to check in on each other. 

They nodded slightly, not wanting to get caught knowing the other, but Villains Only Night had been a dud. No one was particularly interesting, and there was only so much face-painting the man could sit through. 

"You guys look weird!" (y/n) hissed when they nodded slightly too much, looking too manic, even for a villain's gathering. 

"Stop it!" Ray ordered Bose sharply, ignoring the weird kid by storming off with his beloved wife in tow. he was too stupid to cause too much damage, and knowing Bose, he'd blow their cover, so they sought refuge in another corner, passing Chapa on their way. 

There were a few familiar faces here and there, some they'd faced in the past, but primarily the criminals they'd fought with Kid Danger when they last visited. None would be glad to learn that Captain Man and Miss Danger had brought their little protégés to the party, not when they clearly weren't invited, so they kept their eyes low and pretended to flirt like enamoured strangers. 

"Hello? Hi! Can I have everyone's attention, please?" A loud yet pleasant voice yelled above the room's buzz, belonging to a smiling man standing on a stool. He looked nice enough, beaming at his villainous friends in a bloodstained white apron and cap, looking almost friendly, but (y/n) knew better. 

He was The Butcher, and for all his niceties, he held some dark, disturbing secrets. 

"For those of you that don't know, I am The Butcher, and I just want to give everybody a big thank you for attending Villains Only Night!" He announced to rapturous applause, although someone was a little trigger-happy. No sooner than he'd finished speaking, a fire-propelled axe whizzed past his face, narrowly missing his nose as a fresh-faced yet utterly psychotic girl giggled. 

"Whoa! Simmer down there, Betty Blades!"

"I throw rocket blades!" She grinned like it was something to brag about, her sinister, crazy-eyed expression making (y/n) snuggle closer to Ray's side. That toothy snarl made her shiver...and they were supposed to be friends with these people. 

"And we love you for it!"

"I don't..." she muttered under her breath, only heard by her husband as he squeezed her hip and brushed his lips briefly against her temple. Still, glancing around the room, she couldn't see anyone else disagreeing; the villains loved her little blade-throwing trick. Now that she could look properly, no one looked like a book thief. This would be challenging...

"But tonight is about our evil community coming together to say, hey! We're bad people, but we're still people," The Butcher added warmly, much to his counterparts' delight. They'd toast to that, cheering and clapping his words with reverent enthusiasm, and the incognito heroes mimicked them quickly, no matter how much they disagreed. 

"And we must give a big thank you to our free evil face-painter!" Everyone glanced off to the side, where Schwoz stood by a tall chair in his dastardly disguise in a shady, quiet little corner. 

He had a client in the seat, creating a masterpiece on his face without anyone suspecting his true identity; no one would know Captain Man's handy was under that chocolate bubble afro and eyepatch - even the kids failed to recognise him with that beard and those flared jeans, too. He was supposed to look like some painter, not that they'd ever heard of him, but he looked happy at the villains' applause. 

"Now, what I want everyone to do is to talk to three villains you haven't talked to before because an evil stranger is just an evil friend you haven't met yet! So, go out there, be on your worst behaviour, and have fun! But not too much fun, okay?"

It made Ray sick, sneering at all the happy crooks around him. He spent all his adult life trying to lock these scumbags up, and here he was, frolicking amongst them as they made buddies over beers. He was almost glad when that Betty Blades girl nearly took off The Butcher's head again, slicing the air with another deadly, flying blade. He didn't care; if anything, she made his job easier, but of course, the morons laughed it off like it was nothing. 

"Betty!..." Someone kill him. This was excruciating.

~

And it didn't get any easier. Following the crowd, the heroes and Danger Force split up to mingle amongst the gathering, making friends and glad-handing with people they'd typically punch in the face. It was difficult, but they managed by gritting their teeth and getting on with it, telling themselves they needed intell to find the book thief. 

Ray stuck with his sweet girl, not wanting to leave her alone for a moment in such a dirty and dank place, so she accompanied him to meet several minor and emerging villains, most of whom weren't much of a threat. It was challenging for them for a different reason - no kissing. Apparently, it wasn't dignified or wicked, so, much to the man's disappointment, there was a strict hand-on-small-of-back policy in force, and he was lucky. 

Soon, the couple found themselves talking to two familiar faces, who, according to their sticky name tags, were Lizard Boy and Lizard Girl, twins who thought the best aesthetic was to look like two reptilian freaks. They were peculiar characters dressed to look almost identical with their green, scaly skin, flickering tongues, catlike eyes, smooth heads, and odd mannerisms. They were creepy the last time, and (y/n) still hated shaking hands with the slimy individuals. 

"No, no, I love the name Hawkfist..." Lizard Boy said awkwardly as he and his sister chatted with the new villains in town, flicking their tongues through their drinks. There was something familiar about them, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as they went through the usual formal introductions. 

"'Preciate that..." Ray replied gruffly, hand never straying from Danger Force's waist as Chapa loitered near them. She was only there because they wanted to keep an eye on her. Still, she supposed watching Ray struggle with his disguise was entertainment enough, smirking as everyone they met gave wobbly smiles upon hearing the terrible name. 

"But do hawks have...fists?" Lizard Girl asked, proving El Stabador's point as (y/n) cringed into her punch. That had to sting...

"Yes!" 

"I told you no one would get it," Chapa told her teacher knowingly as he threw his hands up into the air in frustration, fed up with telling every asshole he came across that it made sense. His pretty girl tried To comfort him, bless her, hugging his arm a little too closely to be considered anything less than a girlfriend. Yet, the twins didn't notice, thinking it was sweet to see young, evil love, even if that Danger Force was more sweet than sour. 

"I told you to shut up!" The hero yelled after the girl as she sauntered off to go and find her friends--or at least someone more interesting than a guy in a fucking bird suit. She didn't look back as she walked away, leaving (y/n) to babysit her husband and exchange small talk in an even more awkward situation, the Lizards looking anywhere but their new acquaintances. 

"What about Nighthawk?" Lizard Boy suggested - anything to move the conversation on now that creepy little girl had left. 

"Look, you don't think there's a day goes by that I don't regret naming myself Hawkfist?" Ray replied harshly, wishing he'd never bothered and stayed home, where he could be in bed, snuggled up with his precious wife if it wasn't for those goody-two-shoes kids and their big ideas about libraries. But the suggestions kept coming...

"Or maybe Hawk-ules?"

"Oooh, 'cause you're a hawk, but you're strong!" The reptilian twins said excitedly, flexing their arms as Ray pondered the suggestion. It sounded much more inventive and cool than he'd imagined, and although he'd introduced himself as Hawkfist all night, he changed his mind in the blink of an eye. 

"Okay, love that...New name! I'm Hawkules now! New name! Hawkules! That's me..." 

"Oh, doofus..." (y/n) sighed under her breath as she watched him scribble the new persona on a fresh sticky label in his chicken-scratch handwriting once anyone nearby had heard his announcement. Hearing his shrill screech as he slapped it onto his breast to replace the old one made her cringe even harder, flashing the villains a nervous smile to try and smooth things over. 

"He does this a lot..."

"Oh, it's fine!" Lizard Girl smiled at the cute villainess, sensing she had great potential lurking behind that innocent schoolgirl-like smile. She was probably utterly heinous beneath that goody-goody exterior if her creepy costume was anything to go by. 

"You two are so cute together! How long have you been dating?" 

"I beg your pardon?" The question caught (y/n) off-guard, forcing her eyes to snap to the crinkled ones belonging to the other woman, who meant no harm.

"You and your boyfriend... He is your boyfriend, right? Or...are you single?" She and her brother were genuinely curious, but this was dangerous territory, straying too close to reality for comfort. Neither hero missed how the Lizard Boy looked Doll Face up and down, a slight smirk to his grin, and it didn't take a genius to work out what he was angling at, much to Ray's fury. 

Still, she couldn't stand there and say nothing. That would make her look weird, yet it was precisely what she did, her face a picture of terror as the Lizard twins kept smiling. 

"She's my girlfriend! Definitely my girlfriend. My girlfriend...right...babe?" Ray exclaimed gruffly as he thankfully stepped in to save his wife's embarrassment, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close as he grinned. Another move from Captain Subtle, but it got that scaly bastard to back off, pecking her cheek for good measure, even though his pet name didn't seem right. 

He never called her babe, not once, not ever. It was too simple and common, and his sweet girl was more than just some high school boy's babe. She was more than that, so he called her things infinitely more precious, but they couldn't know that. This was Doll Face, girlfriend of Hawkfist--or Hawkules--not (y/n) Manchester, his wife. 

"Huh? I...I mean, sure, honey, we're boyfriend and girlfriend. We've been dating for ages," the woman agreed hastily once her brain processed the confusing sentence because he made it sound like he wasn't even talking to her. She hated that - babe - but her smile stayed bright and pleasant as she hugged her gory teddy bear. 

"So cute! How did you meet? It's not easy to find love when you're wreaking havoc..."

"Oh, yeah, totally..." (y/n) nodded, tensing when her new friend placed a cold, slimy hand on her bare forearm. Still, she ignored it to focus on creating her false narrative - her and Hawkfist's love story in another life. 

"We met...on the job."

"Oh, really?" Lizard Boy blinked in surprise, still feeling disappointed that the cutie was a taken girl. Still, he could deal with it, not wanting to get on the wrong side of the temperamental man before him. Yet, it was rare for villains to date so openly, given the dangers that came with the job, and it wasn't like their personas made them approachable people. 

"Yes! I was robbing a bank and in strolls this lil' beauty. She put the money in the bag and stole my keys before driving away in my car...Took my heart with her." Ray sighed wistfully as he finished his elaborate recollection, so impressive and detailed that even (y/n) believed him a bit, snuggling into his side a little more as the villains melted and cooed. 

But it wasn't like he had to pretend; his sweet girl made it so easy for him to love her that he didn't need to fake his adoration. It came straight from his heart, so he only needed a few white lies. 

"Wow... that's so...romantic."

"Isn't it?" (y/n) exclaimed through gritted teeth, thinking her doofus sounded so effortlessly enamoured that it was almost stupid--almost unbelievable. Villains didn't get happily ever afters, at least not in her books, so she had to make it more realistic, smirking at her so-called boyfriend as she thickened the plot. 

"Too bad Captain Man stopped me in my getaway car. I would've never gone back if that...little spandex bastard hadn't foiled my plans." 

Ray's eyebrows twitched into a frown as she openly sullied his good name, but he had to remember this was all make-believe. It cast his mind back to the day they first met when he didn't make an excellent first impression, and he felt lucky to press his lips to hers in a much-needed kiss. 

Meanwhile, the twins hissed and growled as a sour taste settled on their forked tongues at the mention of that man, having met him on one occasion during a brief ceasefire. He was so full of himself. That, and he made every villain's life miserable with Miss Danger constantly on his back - did those two ever take a day off?

"Captain Man! God, I hate him."

"Me too." They grimaced together, breaking the happy couple out of their smooch because Ray couldn't bear that. It was one thing to joke around, but he hated any slander of his beloved alter ego. Did those two even know how hard he worked with Miss Danger by his side?

"Same here. He's just so...dumb and silly. What a doofus, am I right?" (y/n) agreed hesitantly, not wanting to offend her husband. Still, she couldn't swear her allegiance to Captain Man out in the open. They'd tear her limb from limb, and even as she tried to insult him, a stubborn little grin fought its way onto her face, which she worked to try and make sinister. 

"Yeah!"

"Hey, uh, I know we all hate Captain Man, but you guys read his book? It's a pretty great read..." Ray probed sneakily, much to his wife's exasperation. Of all the places to try and pitch that goddamn novel, this had to be the worst, among dozens of criminals who'd never look at anything affiliated with the hero, let alone read it. 

"That dummy wrote a book?" The reptilian guy frowned before laughing cruelly, deepening Ray's hatred as he met his icy gaze. First, he flirted with his wife, and now, this? This asshole was crossing the line. 

"Some say it's a real page-turner," (y/n) commented vaguely as she tried not to gush about the hero or condemn him to spare everyone's feelings. But you could practically cut the tension with a knife, making her shiver as she squeezed her bear tighter and peered at the Lizards from behind her braids. 

"I can't remember the title..." the girl muttered, having never read the book since it was beneath her, but she remembered it from somewhere. And God, it was so sucky to everyone who sadly bought it from the bookstore...well, everyone except Ray. 

"Uh, yeah, it's something like, uh...Man, I Feel Like A Hero, colon, One Captain Man's Journey Of Self-Discovery, parenthesis, A Captain Man-isfesto, asterisk, The True Story Of The Boy Who Became Captain Man, end parenthesis, exclamation point....or something like that."

"That's oddly specific," (y/n) retorted sarcastically as Ray finished his uncanny recollection of the hero's book - so damn detailed that he nailed it down to the punctuation. It was hardly a smooth move, and the heroine could see the surprise on the criminals' faces until they recovered and politely smiled. Luckily, they got away with the small outburst, but Ray didn't half push it. 

"Oh, yeah! We read it in our evil book club. No one made it through chapter one!" Lizard Girl giggled with her brother as Ray watched with a flat, unimpressed expression, utterly disenchanted with their disrespectful mockery as his poor girl had to cringe and bear it. 

"I think you mean Cap-ter one," he replied tersely, but that made them howl more. 

"Oh, that's right! He called the chapters Cap-ters!" (y/n) subtly comforted her husband as the villains giggled to each other, exchanging insults about the hero, not knowing he was glaring at them like his eyes could burn holes in their heads. She squeezed and rubbed her hands against his bicep, hoping he'd see sense and let them have their fun; after all, they were the ones who'd probably put them in jail one day.

"That's so stupid!" 

But Ray couldn't think like that, not when he'd spent too many nights writing that book, burning the candle at both ends when he should've been going to bed with her. He poured his blood, sweat, and tears into it and refused to let them smear all his hard work. So, rather childishly, he slapped the plastic cups out of their hands, glaring at them before his sweet girl's elbow. 

"You're stupid! Caw-caw!" He hissed, to which the Lizards raised their fingers in an elegant, if weird, pose, and the couple turned away, dragging (y/n) 's bear behind her. He'd rather speak to anyone but them, heading toward Schwoz's face-painting corner, only the hero came face-to-face with someone he'd rather forget. 

"Hey there!" Much to Ray's annoyance, a chubby, overly chummy man greeted them. He couldn't help but roll his eyes and groan upon seeing that thatch of grassy hair, leafy green waistcoat, and a t-shirt bursting at the seams since it was pulled tightly over his bulging tummy. The Lawn Ranger: some loser who matched with Captain Man on some superhero-villain dating app, only to be a total catfish. 

He was the bane of Ray's existence, and even though he wouldn't recognise him as Hawkules, he didn't want to deal with him. 

"Doofus, that was rude..." (y/n) noted as Ray tugged her to the bar, hearing Mika on her way past a small group of chattering villains. Like the good girl she was, she was probing about the book thief, casually asking around about anyone who might know their identity, but her doofus wasn't so keen. 

"I don't like him, sweet girl..." he said with a huff, barely watching Mika's excellent work as he placed his hands on her hips and bent down to kiss her gently. She hummed against his lips appreciatively, enjoying his peppermint-bubblegum taste as she cupped his face and pulled her doofus closer. 

No one around them offered any argument, knowing that a few more frisky miscreants were getting it on in the shadowy corners. Ray got her all to himself for a moment, hugging his beloved wife to his chest while his wandering hands explored her curves. He missed her after being so cruelly denied earlier, pecking her lips a few times before pulling away. 

"He's annoying, granted..." the heroine muttered into his mouth, slightly breathless as they rubbed noses and panted. "But you're above being mean, Raymond."

"Don't you mean Hawkules, Doll Face?"

"You're my doofus, doofus. And I don't like being mean or evil. Feels...wrong." She pulled away, wrinkling her nose in mild disgust because hearing him call her that felt wrong. 

She imagined the creepy villainess schwoz had invented for her was rude and malicious, leagues away from Miss Danger so no one would recognise her. And he wasn't the masked birdman he pretended to be; instead, he was the man who kissed her with such affection and reverence like she was a China doll, not some sinister plaything. 

And Ray agreed, smiling as his touch circled her lower back, dangerously dipping to squeeze her butt through the flouncy material of her gothic dress if she didn't immediately bring it back to her waist. With warm and flushed cheeks, they kissed again until the man's lips bore her lipstick, standing them scarlet so (y/n) had to rub his mouth, laughing at the smudged mess, not that he cared. 

"That's because you're too sweet for this villain shit," Ray told her firmly with a squeeze of her hips. "Don't change, darlin'. I love my wife exactly the way she is."

"I love you too..." (y/n) grinned, heart fluttering upon seeing his smile, and she sorely wanted to say, fuck everything, let's go home. What were they doing? Revealing their true, loving, married selves for all these villains to see; they could be at home right now, cuddled up in their pyjamas and matching rings, but no. They had to kiss out in the open, and who knows who was watching?

"Ugh, can you guys get a room?" A disgusted voice came from behind the couple, forcing them to break apart to see a disgruntled girl glaring at them - mainly Ray since he was the ringleader. 

Chapa looked positively nauseated as she joined them, looking more terrifying than usual in her El Stabador costume, and witnessing their revolting love and PDA didn't help. Her lips were curled up in revulsion, arms crossed tightly across her chest, and her hip jutted out as she sneered, daring Ray to make one clever comment about how he should be able to love his wife openly--or some such bullshit. Seeing him eating (y/n) 's face made her want to puke, and she was poised to remind them of their mission. 

"We were minding our own business until you came along..." Ray replied arrogantly, keeping his sweet girl in his embrace while returning Chapa's glare with aching only cold eyes. 

"Look, I'm pretty sure you won't find the book thief at the back of her throat!" She hissed, heating her friend's face further as she thought about how far Ray went - perhaps too far to be considered decent in public. God, those hands made him like an octopus...touching everywhere. 

"There's no harm in trying!" He bit back, creating a furious tirade of back-and-forth biting comments between them since Ray didn't feel accountable to anyone, nor did Chapa. 

"We have a job to do!"

"She's my wife! I'll kiss her if I wa--"

"Both of you, shhhhhhh!" (y/n) suddenly hushed them, pressing a hand over Ray's mouth before shaking the girl's shoulder. They quickly quietened down, albeit with furrowed brows, as the heroine turned in her husband's arms and stared at something - or someone - in the crowd around them. And, for some reason, she wouldn't stop staring, craning her neck to peer over shoulders through gaps and over heads until she could hone in on a particular conversation. 

"Huh? Sweet girl? I'm trying to---" Ray muttered, sad to lose her attention. He tried to spin her back around, convinced that whatever had enthralled her was nothing compared to his kisses. And whilst that might have been true, this was important enough to whack his chest and silence him again lightly. 

"Shhhh! Listen!" She ordered him insistently, pointing weakly to the group where Mika was chatting with some lower-league criminals. None of them were fascinating, neither infamous nor notorious, so the heroes didn't recognise them, barely sparing them a glance until one began bragging about his exploits. 

"...She was just wondering who stole all those books from The Swellview Library."

"Oh, yeah. That was me!" A pasty, nerdy-looking guy boasted, earning chuckles from his listeners, save for Mika. He didn't look like much, hardly the stuff of nightmares in his faux leather jacket, thin-framed glasses, and a pink and grey, splotchy scarf. If anything, he looked like a feather could knock him down, but Ray had seen all villains in his time. But it was rare to find one so cocky at such a young age. 

"I mean, I didn't take all the books. I left Captain Man's stupid one behind!" The nerdy villain, or Steven to his friends, laughed, much to Ray's fury, as he and (y/n) watched silently from the sidelines. Chapa couldn't help but giggle a little - a death wish - still thinking it was hilarious, although the hero's glare soon sobered her up. 

But this was dangerous for Mika, who found herself surrounded by crooks who wouldn't think twice about hurting her if they thought she'd betrayed them. She was more than an arm's length away from her teachers. Help might come too late, yet she'd asked too many questions...

"So, why'd you wanna know?"

"Oh, I just wanted to shake your hand! Because it's such a really good crime to steal books that are already free," the girl congratulated Steven through gritted teeth, squeezing his hand a little too tightly as she violently shook it - nearly knocking the glasses off his face. It took all her strength to smile sweetly, pretending his blatant disrespect and vandalism didn't bother her. 

"I mean, how do you even read all those books?"

"Oh, I don't read any of them," Steven revealed with a mischievous grin, unwittingly torturing the books-smart girl even more. It was more than her job's worth to grin and bear it, although he had to be the biggest jerk she'd ever met. 

"Oh, you don't even read them?! What do you do with all those free books you steal?" She asked hoarsely, peeking behind Steven to see Ray (y/n) and Chapa waiting with bated breath for a chance to step in. She was reassured that they were so close, but the woman fidgeted, counting at least three villains between her and the kid, including Betty and her rocket blades. 

'Oh, I burn some..." the lowlife listed, each terrible misdeed another blow to the girl's heart. What a selfish bas--

"I shred some..." It was like sacrilege, ebbing away at Mika's resilience as she glared at Book Thievin' Steven. She couldn't help it, wanting to punch him or at least shout to the rooftops about how he was the lowest of the low, the scum of the earth, the dirt underneath her boots - literally the loser in school who peaked in fifth grade. But by some miracle, she held her, fists clenched and shoulders shaking as the guy rambled on, bragging about his exploits like they were something to be proud of. 

"Super!"

"But most of the time, I just tear out the pages one by one and use them to wipe my--" Nope, she couldn't take it. That was the last straw. The one that broke the camel's back. The final fuse to Mika's temper. In a fit of fury, she lurched forward and super-screamed with all her might, creating a sonic wave strong enough to blast the speccy-four-eyed freak off his feet. 

He flew across the room, legs kicking in the air, until he perched on a ledge above the main floor, winded, startled and pale as he stared at The Mangler. Or whoever she claimed to be because villain attacking villain? That was not on at Villains Only Night. Mika gulped as she realised her mistake, staring at Steven wide-eyed as he clutched his sore torso before locking eyes with her friends across the room. Not good...

"Face. I was gonna say my face!" He grumbled, frowning at the girl, but she had more significant problems as those who'd witnessed her superpower - every villain in the room - swarmed around her. 

"It's ShoutOut!" The Lawn Ranger cried. Even he, with his mushroom-addled brain, could see through her disguise after pairing her painted face with that superpower, sending shockwaves of murmurs through the evil crowd. 

"Who?"

"She's not a villain. She's in Danger Force!" Everything happened so quickly, and in a flash, Mika faced the expertly sharpened edge of The Butcher's meat cleaver. His expression twisted into a snarl as she tried to remain cool and composed, but a bead of sweat ran down her forehead when she gulped, knowing there was little use in denying it. 

All the girl could do was stay calm and pray for her friends to save her, gaze flickering to them around the room to see their anxious, staunch faces. Well, some of them were helpful and brave; others, not so much. 

"I'm out of here! Byeeeeee!" Schwoz whimpered, pulling a grapple gun from his belt and using it to leap to safety in the rafters. Panic really does expose a man's cowardice, but in fairness, there was little he could do - especially with that eyepatch. He wasn't a fighter nor a great negotiator, so it was best to return to the Man's Nest and leave the work to the professionals. 

Still, the backup would've been nice, and Mika would rather have a friend to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with her as the small army of criminals and evildoers closed in. Brandishing their weapons, they stuck their ugly mugs close to hers, intimidating her from all sides as they wondered how best to deal with her. Her hands instinctively curled around her throat to protect it, nervously swallowing when she saw all the knives, blasters, and other devices designed to end a person's life in the blink of an eye. 

After all, only an idiot would wander into The Beatin' Dungeon during their night...

"We have to do something--we have to do something now!" (y/n) worriedly whispered to Ray and Chapa. Thankfully, no one heard her panic as the villains bickered about how to make ShoutOut pay for her insolence. She fought her heart's desire to march over there and take down any asshole who dared to touch a hair on her precious baby's head. It was reckless and stupid, almost doomed to fail, but she refused to let anyone hurt the girl. 

She'd never lost a kid on her watch, and she didn't intend to start now, a sentiment shared by Ray as his warm hands laid across her shoulders, squeezing gently as he tried to formulate a plan. He'd never show it, but losing one of them would devastate him, not that he'd let anything happen to Mika. 

"Everything will be fine, darlin'. Look, she's okay..." the man reassured her kindly, watching as the villains manhandled the kid to stand facing the wall while deciding what to do with her. He despised how roughly they treated her, practically shoving her through the brickwork. Still, Mika didn't struggle, pressing her blazing cheek to the chilly wall as her captors argued. 

"For now! I swear if Betty Blades starts to get stabby, one of those rocket blades is going right up her a--"

"Relax, (y/n/n)! We can't blow our cover," Chapa told her calmly, motioning for the heroine to stay low and blend in. They'd be no help if they were also suspected, but she got it. She'd rain hell in furious bolts of lightning should they hurt her friend. 

"We just need to think! Besides, it's not like they know what to do with her..." She was right, turning to glance around the rowdy group as they threw psychotic and downright cruel ideas at The Butcher, none of which fitted the crime, but they were satisfying. 

Boiling, garrotting, gouging, purging, disembowelling; all were beastly enough to make (y/n) wanna puke, but no one could make up their mind. Each criminal thought they were better than the other, nearly brawling amongst themselves until their mild-mannered yet menacing leader spoke up. 

"Okay, okay! Now, we've all got lots of evil ideas about what to do with this member of Danger Force that snuck into Villains Only Night," The Butcher yelled above the racket as Miles and Bose tiptoed over to their teachers, looking to Ray and (y/n) for guidance. There wasn't much room for manoeuvring amongst this lot, and even The Lawn Ranger, with all his loserness, wanted in on the action. Sort of. 

"Let's throw grass in her face!" He suggested after courteously raising his hand, only to receive a harmony of groans and eye-rolls. Maybe if she had hay fever, but...

"No, Lawn Ranger! We're not going to--"

"Let's throw grass on her shoulders!" He exclaimed, and even when they turned him down again with exasperated sighs, he didn't stop. The grass was his thing, which was what made him the crappiest villain in Swellview. "Let's throw grass on her head!"

"Okay, it can't be grass every time, buddy," Steven told him gently, not that it soothed the leafy man-baby. Even as he placed a friendly hand on his grass-covered arm, The Lawn Ranger pouted and shook him off, desperate to show his prowess. 

"It comes from the Earth, man, it's good!"

"You know what they should do is get a bunch of battery acid and some steak knives..." Chapa proposed quietly as she, Bose, Miles, Ray, and (y/n) stood at the back of the crowd, pondering their next move as they bickered. That grassy freak bought them some time, but the girl couldn't help but think about what she'd do if she switched to the dark side. 

"Stop!" Miles scolded her, nudging her ribs before he had to her anymore of her idea to melt his sister to death or whatever she had planned. "Honestly, we're not trying to come up with ways to hurt her!"

"We need to save her! What are we gonna do?!" Bose worriedly asked, seeing no way through the horde of angry villains. Yet, Ray, being his usual cocksure self, didn't shrink before a challenge. Oh no, he thrived under pressure, flashing them his signature smirk before his handsome features melted into what was quickly becoming recognisably Hawkfist's scowl. 

"Relax. Hawkfist has a plan."

"Doofus, didn't you change your name to Hawkules? Amongst other things?" (y/n) frowned, barely keeping up with her husband's frequent name changes after she stopped kissing him and focused on Mika instead. He changed his character like a girl changes clothes, ending up with half a dozen sticky labels stuck to his vest. Some were scribbled out until he settled on his latest fancy. 

"Oh, yeah. I changed it again. I'm now The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley." He grinned at her, thinking himself oh-so-clever as he dove past her and wrenched a soft, doughy snack from Miles' palm. He could've swiped one from the dessert table, but that wasn't cool for someone in a Birdman costume. So, he took the doughnut, shrieked and flapped off, but not before smooching (y/n) 's cheek loudly, much to the children's displeasure. 

"Caw-caw!"

"I do not feel comfortable about this plan..." Miles sighed as they watched the hero boldly approach the squabbling villains without backup, forethought, or weapon. They had no idea what he'd planned--if he'd planned anything at all, but they couldn't make a scene, not when he shoved his way through the throng. 

"Oh, Ra--I mean, Hawk-Whatever--don't be a doofus all your life!" B (y/n) called after him, tiptoeing closer to the other villains with the kids tentatively covering her back. 

They couldn't help but get closer, wanting to see the man's big plan, although their better instincts told them to run and hide because it would be a disaster. What was the doughnut for? 

"Quiet! Quiet!" The Butcher shouted, acting as crowd control, not that it worked. The villains kept yelling louder and louder, inching forward as they bayed for ShoutOut's blood - just a little drop for good measure, which they only saw as fair payment. 

But Ray was fearless, elbowing the miscreants out of his way since he'd faced things far grander, far scarier, and far weirder than they were. He wouldn't call any of them truly great villains, hardly Doctor Minyak, The Toddler, or Frankini. Still, they had strength in their numbers, not that it bothered him. He had a pretty lady watching his every move. He didn't have room to slip up. 

"All right, everybody--let's cut the chatter!" He bellowed, and surprisingly, what didn't work on a classroom of tweens beautifully commanded a warehouse full of creeps and crooks. The villains fell silent, vastly boosting his ego as he smirked and preened, making his wife roll her eyes. 

"Nice..." he added huskily, unknowingly causing (y/n) to flutter in her tummy when a minuscule smile tweaked his lips. So damn handsome, even in that ridiculous outfit. 

"All right, The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley will deal with this girl."

"Who's that, Hawkfist?" The Lizard Girl asked, mirroring the confused expressions around the rooms upon hearing the new name. He'd changed it so many times that no one could keep up with whoever he was now, still caught up on his first - and most memorable - nickname. 

"Me!" Ray replied gruffly, utterly fed up with those two reptilian weirdos and how they always seemed to hang around him like an unwanted bad smell. 

"I thought you were Hawkules--"

"Ugh, moving on! I'm gonna scratch this girl, and she will bleed!" The hero sneered, brandishing the sharp talons stitched into his gloves and prompting panic and terror in Mika as the villains cheered. The children glanced at (y/n) worriedly, concerned at the mention of blood. But she couldn't help them, looking just as antsy at her husband's risky plan as everyone else while the girl shivered. 

"Okay, ShoutOut. Get ready to feel my talon punch!" 

"Shouldn't your talons be on your feet?" The Lizard Girl butted in again, being pedantic when Ray was trying to be cool. He turned to her with a vicious snarl, rolling his eyes at every little interruption. 

"Oh my God, whatever! Just let me do this--shut up! Caw-caw!" With no more rude interruptions, he spun and gently raked his fingers down Mika's back. 

It felt more like a massage than a relentless attack, nails slightly digging into her skin. Still, not to the point of pain, but to any onlooker, it appeared like he was cruelly clawing at her body. The villains cheered and egged him on, and Mika quickly followed Ray's lead, pretending he was hurting her as he growled and moved his talons faster. 

"Oh, no! I'm being scratched, yeah!"

"Get her, Hawkules!" The Lawn Ranger shouted, much to Ray's displeasure, as he briefly paused his so-called assault to give him an icy look. God, he hated that guy. 

"That's three names ago. Try to keep up!" He snarled before returning to his work, ignorant of the loser's attempt at an apology. Still, Mika played her role very well, faking her cries of pain and pretending to curl into the wall to shield herself as much as possible. It was brutal to watch, and the criminals loved it, roaring and applauding Hawk-guy's work, even as Danger Force loitered on the sidelines. 

"I'm definitely bleeding!" She gasped as Ray snuck his stolen doughnut under his jacket's wing, squishing the sweet pastry over her costume until the red jelly filling was smeared across her back. He took inspiration from Bose's stupidity, and when she collapsed from the agony, it really looked like he'd torn her skin to ribbons - scarlet dribbles everywhere. 

"Oh, but I am so very defeated!" The girl remarked flatly as she weakly lay on the floor with Hawkfist looming over her. His fingers were covered in jelly, all sticky and dripping in a morbid sight, which was a bit confusing for the throngs of evildoers around them. No matter how much their feathered friend hyped up his dirty hands and defeated foe, they'd never known one of Captain Man's protégés to go down so quickly. 

Still, if he could make a swift exit, no one need know any different...

"Okay, then, I'm just gonna take her back to my lair and feed her to my baby birds," Ray growled to the villains, bending down to grab Mika and drag her home. The kids didn't want to know who the baby birds were, but they waited patiently, eager to leave, when Betty Blades piped up, a suspicious snarl on her lips. 

"Wait a second!"

"What?" Ray asked nervously, having no choice but to let Mika lay there as the psychotic brunette marched up to him and swiped her bony finger through the red mess coating his fingers. 

Everyone grimaced when she brought the apparent blood to her lips. Still, Betty frowned when the strangely sweet and oddly delicious flavour hit her tongue. It wasn't metallic or gross but tart and sugary, crinkling her eyebrows at the deception. 

"It tastes sweet..." she remarked, much to her comrades' confusion. 

"Of course it does! The taste of victory is always sweet!" The hero remarked with a voice full of confidence, acting as if her discovery didn't phase him at all. He played it off well, but one glance at his sweet girl through the crowd and (y/n) saw the panic behind his eyes, knowing that his big plan was slowly unravelling. 

"Yeah, but that's just jelly."

"What?" He scoffed, acting innocent and dumb as the villains around them laughed slightly, thinking it was some big prank. But Betty narrowed her eyes at him, sensing something was wrong with that perfect smile - perhaps too perfect for a supervillain. 

"Raspberry, if I'm not mistaken."

"The Talon-ted Mr Hawkley must've used that doughnut!" The Butcher pointed out with a sinister smirk, causing everyone to gasp as they saw the squashed, empty pastry on the floor next to ShoutOut's limp body. They glared at Ray, not knowing whether to deem him an intruder or a phoney. Still, either way, the man was stuck between a rock and a hard place - very much in no position to convince them otherwise. 

"No, I didn't!"

"But you did, though. Right before you fake-scratched her."

"And un-stuck her from the wall," The Lizard Twins hissed, folding their arms coldly as Ray struggled to think of a witty, believable comeback--and his sidekicks were no help. They couldn't get to him even if they wanted to, and honestly, a twinge of fear settled into his gut. 

"Are you even a real villain, bro?" Some guy in the crowd asked, which was a bit rich, given that Ray didn't even recognise him. He could say the same in return, even if it was suicidal. 

"What does this say? Huh?" He replied curtly, pointing to one of the many sticky labels on his chest. Yet, because he didn't look where he was pointing and had so many name changes, he accidentally chose an old one that didn't last very long since it was a bit...lame. 

"I have no idea."

"You kept scratching out your villain names and giving yourself new ones."

"Does one of them say, Hawklate Milk?" Betty Blades asked with a slight, mocking smirk, and the man quickly covered the unfortunate label, licking his finger and rubbing it to try and remove the ink. 

"Maybe..."

"That's dumber than Captain Man's book!" The same nobody from earlier remarked, and that was his last straw. Ray couldn't handle any slander toward his books if Mika couldn't cope with pointless crimes. It infuriated him more than their constant interruptions or snarky comments, making him stamp his foot like a child and jerk his arms. He'd show them who the losers were, aching for genuine respect since that stupid bird suit obviously didn't command any. 

"All right--that's it! Where's my damn gum?" He shouted in annoyance as he plodded off around a corner, patting down his pockets to find where he'd carefully hidden his gum. They all brought some, just in case, even if it was risky in case one of the villains found them, and (y/n) didn't miss a beat when she saw her doofus disappear into the shadows. 

Placing a hand over her well-hidden tube, feeling it through the lace of her dress, she turned to Chapa. While her husband was more than capable of kicking dozens of villains' butts, she didn't fancy him taking on every asshole The Beatin' Dungeon had to offer, so, lowering her voice, she whispered to the girl as she tiptoed away. 

"Keep them busy. We'll be right back..."

"What?! What are we supposed to do?!" Chapa whispered harshly, nervously glancing around, praying no one heard their snappy conversation. Luckily, the delinquents in the room were too distracted to truly pay attention, allowing the heroine to weave her way to wherever Ray disappeared cautiously. 

But the kids didn't want her to leave, suddenly feeling much smaller and weaker without the mighty Miss Danger. Yet, she didn't stop, throwing them a bright smile as she slipped past some pink-haired weirdo. 

"Just get Mika to safety! We'll handle the rest!" (y/n) grinned, not looking back as she disappeared into the crowd, leaving Bose clueless and Miles and Chapa very disgruntled. 

"Oh, you make it sound so easy!" Ignoring them, she crept past the oblivious villains toward Ray's hiding place, hoping they wouldn't do anything too reckless while transforming. As she slipped into the nook, she could hear The Butcher bellowing more incoherent orders. Still, she didn't bother deciphering them when she spotted a very angry doofus muttering himself, patting down his tunic with too much aggression. 

"Doofus?"

"Sweet girl..." The man turned around upon hearing those dulcet tones, the tension and fury melting from his body when he saw his beloved wife standing there. Her face was so pure and innocent, so it wasn't his fault when a sudden urge to sweep her into a spontaneous kiss swept over him. 

He gathered her in his arms, holding her shoulders tightly as (y/n) gasped, allowing his tongue to slip into her mouth in what was interrupted by that sparky brat before. A sigh mingled between them as her arms slid around his neck, pulling their navels together until every inch of their bodies touched. It was hot and passionate and undoubtedly the wrong time and wrong place, but neither cared, forgetting their mission, friends in a second of love and lust. 

But it didn't last. As much as her head was spinning, her heart was burning, and her tummy was fluttering, (y/n) snapped to her senses when she felt his fingertips creeping under her skirt - a little too eager to say they weren't at home. There were dozens of villains just a few feet away - his composure and boldness surprised her. 

She abruptly pulled away from her lover at the peak of his assault, grasping the wrist hiding between her thighs and staring up at him with darkened eyes and swollen lips. Had it really been that long since they had a moment to themselves?

"What's taking you so long?!" She panted before suddenly realising how tightly she gripped his arm and jacket. Ray smirked at her dishevelled state, having quietly known that his sweet girl would follow when he walked off, although he hadn't planned on losing control like that. It was her fault for being too damn hot. 

"I can't find my gum!" Ray replied smoothly, holding her waist when she released his wandering hand. It was true; he'd been trying to find the damn thing when she walked in, and he swore that it was gone--vanished--stolen--God knows what. He couldn't find it; only (y/n) knew better. 

"You mean this gum?" She cocked an eyebrow as she waggled a glowing tube under his nose - the same gum she'd felt when her hand slipped down to his butt when they were kissing. He'd shoved it deep in his back pocket, which wasn't particularly safe, making him smile sheepishly as he took it with red cheeks. 

"Oh, yeah..." The hero nodded, taking the glowing gum as she shook her head and smiled. Such a doofus...but even if he was embarrassed, he couldn't help the rush of affection in his chest when she tenderly kissed his neck to hide her amused expression. 

"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?"

"Several times."

"Well, it's true," Ray remarked, grabbing her chin and tilting it up so he could see her eyes when she bashfully looked down with hot ears. 

He bent down again, capturing her lips much more gently this time, moving slowly until her mouth opened, allowing his tongue to slip in again. Seconds or hours passed - neither knew how long - until they were breathless and grinning like idiots, feeling like their dark yet cosy corner had gone from frigid to unbearably scorching. God knows what was happening in the main room, a thought that slipped through (y/n) 's mind as her beloved doofus grasped and squished her ass in his large palm. 

"Ray?" She asked quietly, weak and throaty as their lips brushed together again before he found her neck, forcing her head to tilt back. What was her point again? Everything went out of her mind as he suckled and nipped on her skin, pushing his face closer when he hummed against her throat. 

"Hmmm?"

"Those villains insulted your book. Aren't you gonna punch them?" His lips froze over a fleeting mark, not even bothering to darken it into staying for a few more seconds. 

Suddenly, Ray remembered his purpose, hands momentarily squeezing her flesh a little too hard as his muscles remembered their strength, and his brain recalled why he was so fucking mad in the first place. Right before this temptress walked in, he was hell-bent on revenge... And he still wanted to show those losers that he was superior. 

"God, yes..." the man growled, pulling away to stare darkly into her pretty eyes, smirking in satisfaction when she shuddered at the sight of him. There she went again, seducing him without even realising it. 

"One more kiss, though..." (y/n) was helpless to stop him, not that she wanted to. 

She pulled him in by his collar until their noses brushed under that stupid hood of his, drinking down his taste as he rocked against her body. Everything would make later that night so much sweeter, going deeper and deeper until their lungs burned and begged for mercy, although Ray swore he could survive on her honey-like taste alone. 

"Okay...come on. You've had your fun," the heroine told him firmly, physically having to rip herself away from his unbearably hot body; otherwise, she would've let him have his way right there in the corridor. Pressing his gum tube into his palm, she fumbled to bring hers out of the only place she could've stored in a dress with no pockets - the built-in bra. 

"Don't even..." she told her husband sternly as her fingers dipped past the neck and pulled the warm glass cylinder out from between her boob. She wasn't stupid, knowing that Ray's eyes were glued to her cleavage, aching like a virgin teenager for even the tiniest glimpse of her bare flesh - like he hadn't seen it all before.

"Fun? Well, that was mildly entertaining, darlin', but I'll show you a good time when we get home," he rumbled gruffly, popping a gumball with a flushed face when she caught him staring. It wasn't his fault; she was just too hot, and he was such a her man, utterly in love with all of her features, some finer than others. 

"Don't you always?" The woman threw the flirtatious comment over her shoulder with the candy she popped into her mouth, chewing slowly as they laughed. A warm hand took hers as Ray mimicked her movement, turning the gum all sticky and squishy before they blew their bubbles and transformed into their costumes. 

It felt good to be Captain Man and Miss Danger again, grinning and checking each other out since their uniforms were infinitely better-looking than those angsty disguises. She was beautiful, and he was handsome, looking like the perfect pair as he brushed her hair behind her ear and pecked her lips one last time.

"God, I love you..."

"I know..." And (y/n) grinned the whole way out of the room. 

Of course, they couldn't sneak out the way they'd come in; any observant villain would put two and two together and surmise that Hawkfist was Captain Man, etcetera. So, they took the long way, routing around the back of the warehouse until they could approach from the other side of the room. They had the element of surprise on their side, Ray going first with his sweet girl hot on his heels as the sound of angry voices grew louder. 

It was a tremendous racket like a thunderstorm in a tin can, and when the heroes peeked out from the door they tiptoed through, they could see Chapa and Bose looming over The Butcher. He lay on the floor, unconscious, after the girl was forced to defend herself with her superpower because Bose couldn't keep his mouth shut. Miles and Mika were nowhere to be seen - hopefully safely back at the Man's Nest like the heroine instructed. 

"It's Volt!" The Lizard Girl hissed, pointing directly at Chapa as she took an uncharacteristically timid step back. She didn't know what to do now that she'd revealed her true identity, feeling like a million eyes were staring back at her and Bose - but they weren't alone. 

"All right, you jerks!" Ray chose his moment wisely, jumping into action with his beloved wife before anyone could harm a single hair on his sidekicks' heads. He stormed over to the group of baffled villains, all of whom were utterly stunned to see the snarling hero in their lair - with Miss Danger looking equally pissed. 

"Anyone wanna make fun of my book now?" They were the wrong people to ask, boldly throwing insults about his sloppy plotline, poor spelling, and awful pacing as (y/n) quickly checked over the children, cupping their cheeks before pushing them behind her back. 

They'd done beautifully, but now it was time to let her and Ray fight, and boy, he was mad about the brazen mockery of his treasured novel. Glancing at each other, the couple rolled their eyes and sighed, knowing that some things never changed, but at least they could get revenge for a genuinely terrible evening. 

"I hate you all," Ray sighed as some randomer pressed play on the stereo system, anticipating an epic brawl. 

The villains felt pretty confident, sizing up the admittedly bulky hero and his pretty, if puny, wife, and decided they were no match for them. They were hideously outnumbered, even if they cracked their knuckles and stretched their backs, calmly waiting for the oncoming storm--well, they could have it. Anything to avenge their fallen comrade and find justice for invading their territory. 

"Get 'em!" Betty Blades screeched, and that was when all hell broke loose. 

A tall man flung himself at Ray first, easily a couple of inches taller than the hero. Still, he repelled him quickly with a swift punch across the jaw before elbowing him in the throat. As he fell to the floor, a blonde, cruel-looking woman snuck up on the hero with all the agility and feline wickedness of a cat, moving to pounce and dig her claws into him if it wasn't for (y/n) anticipating her move. 

She saw the attack in her mind, moving perfectly in time as her eyes shimmered like pearls, allowing her to grab the bitch by her shoulders before she could lay a hand on her doofus. Curling an arm around her neck, she held her still long enough for Ray to boot her in the stomach, a pained groan leaving the villainess as she crumpled to the floor, clutching her abdomen. 

Another swathe of villains approached, teaming up three against two as the couple backed up toward the bar until their elbows brushed, trying to keep all eyes on their foes. Suddenly, a thick, rusty, iron chain wrapped around Ray's neck from behind, causing (y/n) to gasp and break focus for a split second to glance upwards and see an evil man sneering at the struggling hero from a concrete ledge. 

"Captain Man!" She cried, feeling her heart lurch when her husband scrambled for oxygen, even though she knew he'd be fine. That's when the three cornering them made them move, storming forward while the man was weak. 

They targeted Miss Danger, who recognised one as the guy who fought Henry once - Kyle or something - so she knew he meant business. She blocked one of his punches, holding his fist in her hand before uppercutting his chin with the other, sending him stumbling backwards. But she couldn't take on three at once, not when the men had arms as thick as her thighs and infinite strength. Hence, as she dodged a few more blows from a guy in a red jacket, Ray ignored the stinging agony around his throat and kicked out at anyone who dared lay a finger on her.  

He snarled at those who hurt her, growling lowly at how they pathetically tried to keep him from her side. Finding a break in the waves of attackers, he lurched forward, pulling the villain above him down against the concrete so his face was in range for a damn good pummeling. A swift punch to the nose rendered him out like a light, loosening his grip on the chain so the hero could steal it and breathe freely again. 

"You okay, sweet girl?" Ray asked breathlessly, catching her in a brief, free moment as chaos reigned around them. Bose was unconscious for some reason, and Chapa was terrorising Betty Blades with her lightning, but still, the doofus looked at her like all was right in the world. And if she was okay, then everything was. 

"Never better--doofus!" The woman grunted, her smiling vanishing when the guy who swung the first punch returned for round two. This time, he aimed for her, throwing his body weight into the blow as (y/n) ducked, giving her husband space to block his arms with brute raw strength. 

Before they knew it, the blonde was backing, stunning (y/n) with some fancy flips as she cartwheeled and twisted her way across the floor--what was wrong with walking? She didn't have time to help Ray as he took a swipe to the cheek, slumping winded against a barrel before taking on Kyle one-on-one. 

For someone so high and mighty, he went down with a single punch as Miss Danger cat-slapped the woman with the back of her hand, smirking satisfactorily when she sharply kicked her shin with the metal toe of her heeled boot. That was for trying to hurt her husband. In the blink of an eye, the couple found themselves back-to-back in a circle of villains, taking on whoever stepped into the ring. Others watched from the sidelines, egging their friends on. 

One guy in a red jacket swung at (y/n), only to receive a straight left to the nose as Ray punched Kyle in the gut, wondering why Henry had struggled so much with him before. A swift kick in the face and he flew into the buffet table, sending cheese puffs and plastic cups everywhere as he cried for his mama. 

Meanwhile, his pretty girl smirked at the catty lady, expertly ducking and weaving every time she tried to claw out her eyes, predicting every swipe with seconds to spare until she caught her arm on the final blow. It was too easy to shove her off her balance, watching with a giggle as the acrobatic woman fell face-first into a cardboard box with her legs kicking in the air. 

But there was no time to get cocky; out of nowhere, some lunatic charged at Ray, rugby-tackling him with his arms locked around the hero's waist as they tumbled through a wooden door, making even the most hardened, desensitised villains wince. Some fled for their lives, too weak or cowardly to take on the fearless crimefighters, and (y/n) noticed how The Lizard Twins were among the fleeing monsters. Whilst she was sad to miss the chance to fight them, she scoffed in amusement - some bad guys they were. 

Some were smarter than others, though, knowing when to leave a party, and Book Thievin' Steven was no exception. He knew when he was beaten, seeing how the heroes effortlessly tipped the scales until the crowd thinned, leaving only the roughest, toughest of villains fighting. And he was neither of those things, more like a delicate flower than a bloodthirsty fighter, so he turned to run...only to run into Volt's arms. 

"Oh, no!" She smirked, and with Bose's help, they twisted his hands behind his back, taking him as their prisoner since he was the thief they'd come to apprehend. He didn't put up much of a fight, whining like a little bitch as the children meanly slapped his wrists in handcuffs, barking orders to be silent or else. 

He should've counted himself lucky, given that the people he'd been bragging to all night had to face Captain Man and Miss Danger. The couple showed no mercy; when Ray tossed his attacker through the remaining splinters of the door, (y/n) was there to meet him with her flying fist. 

There were barely any villains left standing, only the stubborn with wobbly legs and bruised faces still fighting. When one got to his feet, all the hero had to breeze past him and flick him on the nose to knock him out, more intent on reaching his sweet girl than bothering with a loser who didn't know when to give up. 

"Boo!" He grinned when he saw her sneak up on The Lawn Ranger, shouting into his ear so the leafy weirdo practically jumped out of his skin when he realised how close the heroine was. He'd spent the entire fight cowering behind the bar, all too happy to let someone else be his shield, but now he was out of options - except one. 

"MOMMY, COME HELP ME!" The so-called criminal screeched, glancing from the woman with her hands on her hips to her hulking husband, who threateningly flexed his biceps as he stomped toward him. 

Ray wasn't interested in The Lawn Ranger, not even sparing him a glance as he ran for the exit with a wet patch on the front of his pants. No, he wanted the asshole on the kedge, who, despite all his friends falling like dominoes, remained on the high ground, knowing he had the advantage over the heroes if he stayed there. 

While (y/n) picked off the stragglers on the floor, Ray bunny-hopped over the bar, risking everything and clambering up to where the villain waited with bared teeth. Hunched over with a thick metal pipe in his grip as a makeshift weapon, the man held his nerve until he had the fearsome Captain Man towering over him, and all he had to do was bellow to make the guy pee himself. 

Shrieking like a terrified child, the metal pipe clattered on the floor concrete as the villain took the intelligent option and dove through a boarded-up window. He'd rather have a broken arm than any of the wounds the hero would inflict, leaving Ray gloating and smiling victoriously until he turned around to grin at his beloved wife. And what he saw made his vision fade to red. 

In the time Ray had climbed up to the rafters, (y/n) had battled a handful of weakened villains. None were exceptionally challenging, running away when they knew they were beaten or collapsing when she swiftly overpowered them. But one guy was annoyingly tough--too stubborn to go down without a fight. 

She'd punched him. That didn't work. She'd kicked him. He didn't even flinch. She even tried kneeing him in the groin, but apparently, he had balls of steel. He had, too; only those with some severe nerve had the guts to wrap their hairy hands around Miss Danger's throat. It all happened quickly; one minute, she held her own, blocking all of his rapid jabs, and the next, one hand came out of nowhere. It squeezed her airways too tightly to be comfortable. 

She gasped, but no sound came out, nails scratching at his wrist as her tummy fizzled and popped with nerves, eyes sliding in her doofus' direction. Fighting for air, she kicked out at the man, weakly tapping his shins as her toes brushed the ground, threatening to lift her off her feet entirely when Ray finally noticed. 

If there was one line a villain shouldn't cross, it was this one; they could hurt him all they wanted, but Miss Danger? She was off limits, so this asshole had to pay. 

With his jaw clenched and teeth gnashing, Ray glanced around at his surroundings, knowing he had to get down there--and fast. He didn't want to risk the bastard spotting him, so he quickly set his sights on a chain by his elbow, unhooking it from a post before giving it a few tugs to check its strength. 

As (y/n)'s eyes rolled back, he took his chance, swinging like Tarzan until his stretched leg collided with the guy's face. His body contorted and flipped from the sheer impact, separating him from the gasping heroine as he crumpled at her feet, setting her free. Her fingers rubbed at her sore throat, blinking back tears as Ray gracefully landed and glared at the knocked-out man, secretly wishing no one was looking so he could rain down a little more pain. 

"Keep your dirty hands off my wife..." he snarled to deaf ears, panting as heavily as (y/n) as he stomped and loomed over the limp body. One second, he was all rage and testosterone, making the onlooking woman gulp as he stood there with his chest heaving and fists clenched. But the next, he turned to her, all doe-eyed and smiling, lightly stepping over and taking her into his arms like she was made of glass. 

"Sweet girl, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Captain. Thank you for saving me..." (y/n) replied breathlessly, placing her palms against his chest as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, smiling sweetly. His hands tightened on her waist, humming throatily as he kissed her lips, slightly chapped from the fight, but he didn't mind. 

"You can thank me later tonight," he whispered in her ear, lightly nibbling her earlobe as she breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into his embrace, leaning her forehead on his shoulder. 

As if by magic, his hands glided over her back, soothing any soreness or ache from the battle, turning her into putty until she'd do anything he said, practically purring as he nuzzled her hair. She was safe; that was all Ray could think of, letting his anger melt away because he couldn't feel anything but love when he held her, swearing he'd found heaven when--

"Captain Man! Miss Danger! We got him."

"We got the book thief!" Two chirpy voices interrupted their bliss just when Ray was about to taste that sweet, sweet honey again. Annoyingly, (y/n) pulled away with warm cheeks, shy to see Chapa and Bose standing across the room, watching every moment as they held Book Thievin' Steven by his arms, preventing him from escaping. Those little...it was like they didn't want him to love his wife.

"Guys! Great job!" The heroine praised them, clapping her hands and nudging her doofus to at least smile as she noticed his irritated grimace from the corner of her eye. He was such a grumpy pants, moody because he didn't get a kissy--as if she wouldn't smother him with them when they got home. 

But Ray begrudgingly conceded, offering the beaming kids a brief, proud smile as Steven groaned, wishing he was anywhere but the same room as the lovey-dovey couple. While Miss Danger was hot, it made him want to puke when he saw her...canoodling with Captain Man, turning that old stickler into a lovesick puppy - a bigger moron than ever. Of all the people to capture him, it had to be them - the gratingly in-love it-couple of the city. 

"Now, let's see who he really is!" Bose exclaimed before roughly grabbing the criminal's chin, yanking and tugging his skin like his skin would peel away like a mask, revealing another man underneath. But this wasn't some slapstick cartoon, making Steven wince and yelp as the boy pinched his cheeks, much to his friends' amusement. 

"Ahh! OW! My face!"

"BrainStorm, buddy...there's no mask," Ray told him gently, an arm wrapped around his wife's waist as she giggled. She couldn't say the thief didn't deserve it. 

"Okay, so, what do we do with him?" The boy asked innocently, releasing Steven's cheeks with a disappointed pout as the man struggled against their hold. Still, the question made everyone stop and think, imagining plenty of suitable punishments, some stronger than others. Of course, Chapa and her vividly diseased imagination came up with the best ones. 

"I have ideas..." She grinned at her teachers, waggling her eyebrows suggestively as her captive gulped. He wasn't stupid; he knew Volt was the least reasonable of the younglings Captain Man had recently taken under his wing. But surely, they wouldn't let him suffer, would they?

Would they?

~

Oh, they would. 

Out of everything Steven had imagined for their cruel torture, this had to be the worst. He could've been hung, drawn, and quartered, but Miss Danger didn't like the mess. They could've ripped out his fingernails and mailed them to his mother, but ShoutOut thought that was too morbid. They could've banished him to the North Pole, but Volt said that was too babyish. 

They bounced ideas around like a beach ball until the fiery-tempered girl suggested something utterly brilliant--borderline evil for those goody-goody lot. He begged them not to do it, pleading, praying, screaming he'd do anything else. They could brandish him a thief for all to see, and he swore never to steal again on pain of death. But no, his sobs fell on deaf ears. 

Book Thievin' Steven needed to be taught a good, hard lesson, Chapa told her friends as she fastened a thick, corded restraint around his chest, having already bound his hands behind his back. After fleeing The Beatin' Dungeon, Danger Force, Miss Danger, and Captain Man brought the man back to the Man's Nest, sitting him on a chair in the middle of the room as the wicked girl cooked up their revenge.

It was simple, really; she'd had Schwoz prepare most of it, setting up a TV near the villain as it played a cosy recording of a crackling log fire since they didn't have one of their own. Across from that, Ray was all tucked up and relaxing in a ratty, worn armchair. It looked disgusting but was deliciously comfortable with its aged cushions and leather upholstery. He wasn't allowed to change out of his uniform, sitting by Steven and the fake fire with the pièce de résistance in his hand, waiting for the torture to commence. 

"Please, don't..." Steven sniffled as Volt ensured his bonds were pulled tight and secure, ignoring the tears in his eyes as Ray flicked through a copy of Man! I Feel Like A Hero!

Oh, yeah. She went there. If there was one thing villains hated, it was Ray's book - the thing that put fear in their hearts more than death, destruction, or torture. This was worse than hell but a win-win situation for the hero. He waited patiently for his sweet girl to appear after she'd slipped away to change into something more comfortable, eager to snuggle up with him as he read to her like they did in bed every night. 

That was where Chapa's secret weapon hid. 

"I'll do anything!"

"Settle down, buddy. You're gonna be here for thirty-two Cap-ters, an epilogue, an alt ending, and a whole section at the end where I teach you whole to draw a cartoon version of me," Ray told Steven with an excited grin, having turned to page one. There was a lot more to get through, striking terror in the thief's chest as he turned to Chapa in one last bid for mercy - he couldn't bear the thought of listening to the hero droning on and on and on...

"No, no, no, no, please! Please! Please!" He sobbed, not that the girl cared. Rolling her eyes, she turned her back on him, smiling briefly at (y/n) as she entered the room in her pyjamas before returning to where the other kids sat at the couch table. 

"Steven, my guy, there's no use in trying. Just sit there and take it like man," the woman advised him as she sauntered up to her doofus, looking utterly adorable in her silky pee-jays, save for the mask still stuck to her face. It was Miss Danger at the end of her day, looping around the armchair to smile at her husband, who finally tore his eyes away from his beloved book to see something far more precious. 

"Hey, doofus...did I miss anything?"

"Nope, you're just in time, sweet girl, and you're even wearing my favourite shorts..." Ray cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice, giving her a knowing look before uncrossing his legs to welcome her into his embrace, tapping his thigh with his free hand. After such a long day, he wanted his wife as close as possible, especially when her legs went on and on and on for days in those booty shorts. 

"Why don't you take a seat right here?"

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," she giggled, eagerly placing herself on his knee and leaning back into his chest. Her legs draped over the arm of the chair as her hand hovered behind his head to play with the tufts of his hair, wriggling in his embrace to get comfy. 

There was no better spot in The Nest, in her opinion, tucking her face into the crook of his neck and placing a kiss there as Ray grinned, finally at peace now that he had her where he wanted. He put the book between them, resting it in her lap as he found his place again, murmuring some incoherent sweet nothings as Steven looked on in horror. 

Aw, hell, no, he couldn't watch this. 

"First! The introduction, written by me," Ray gloated, turning his chin slightly to find his wife's lips as she rolled her eyes. She knew this would be just one big boast battle for him, already knowing the life and secrets of the mighty hero, but she didn't mind. Nowadays, it was a luxury to spend so much quiet time with him, humming appreciatively against his lips to create a disgustingly unmistakable smacking sound. 

"NOOOOOO! You can't expect me to sit here with these two...lovebirds! I'm gonna throw up!" Steven wailed, screwing up his face when he saw the couple locking lips--practically eating each other's faces. Where was Captain Man putting his hands?! They slid from her ribs to her waist and even curled around to cup her butt, pulling Miss Danger further onto his lap as he...groaned. Oh, God...

"Hot chocolate just tastes better after you catch a bad guy," Chapa sighed as she ignored the wails across the room. 

The book was bad enough, but the real torture lay in forcing Steven to endure the couple's handsy, undying love and affection. They lived through it every day, seeing kisses, pinches, pats, and advances that scared their poor, pure minds. If they had to see it, so did he - a just punishment for such a heinous crime, and everybody won except for Steven. 

"Everything does," Bose agreed, sipping his rich, sweet drink before taking a bit bite of the styrofoam cup. It was a wonder that he was still alive, making his friends wince in shame and confusion as he happily munched on the bland, chewy plastic like it was tasty - did he think it was food?

"Honey, don't..."

"Just let him..." Chapa sighed as Mika tried to warn the boy otherwise. Still, she knew it was useless - practically survival of the fittest by now. So, she reached for the thermos pitcher in the middle of the table as Miles eyed it hungrily since he apparently wasn't allowed any for the most trivial reasons. 

"Can I get a little hot chocolate?" He asked the girl politely, only to receive a curt look as she stood up and took the thermos away. 

"Did you catch a bad guy?"

"I saved ShoutOut," he replied as Mika smiled brightly, thinking that such a noble deed deserved a reward, given that it was arguably the other half of a hero's job. Stop a bad guy and save someone - wasn't that the job description?

"So, you caught a good guy?" Chapa hummed pedantically, toying with her friend for the sake of being difficult - mainly because the smoochy-smoochy sounds from that armchair were grating her nerves. 

"Okay, that's not fair," Mika told her, acting as the voice of reason like always, but Chapa didn't listen. She merely sipped her hot chocolate and stiffened her upper lip, wanting the sweet, chocolatey goodness all to herself after nearly getting hounded by a group of vicious villains. 

"Tastes pretty fair to me..." she sniffed, causing her friends to argue about how mean she could be sometimes. 

(y/n) had said it once, but they'd say it again; if she wanted to have friends, she needed to be friendly, although none of it got through to her. The rowdy conversation soon broke the tranquillity of the Man's Nest, forcing the happy couple by the fire to stop kissing - even the notion - and sigh. How were they meant to subtly tease each other--or torture Steven if they couldn't hear themselves think?

"Hey, let's cut the chatter back there!" Ray yelled to them, his cheek smushed against (y/n)'s forehead as the room fell silent, much to his satisfaction. He'd finally perfected that line, settling into his comfy chair with his wife in his arms as he turned to the book's first words - the children's prompt to get up and leave.  

And so, it began. 

"Cap-ter one--The Beginning," he read aloud, ignoring the thief's sobs as the kids quickly scattered, not wanting to hear another line of that drivel or witness how their friend kissed up his neck. 

"It all just kinda Captain'ed... My father was an irresponsible scientist, and it was Bring Your Kid To Work Day."

"Heh, I got that joke there, doofus," (y/n) giggled, utterly bored of hearing her husband's founding story for the billionth time, but she loved the little pun. He was so dorky and adorable, giving her that doofy grin as she stroked his cheeks, thankful she couldn't see Steven behind her. She could hear his whimpers and groans, but it spurred her with her open affection, knowing that this was supposed to be a punishment, and when in Rome...

"You liked it, sweet girl? Well, there's plenty more where that came from..." Ray grinned, leaning down to kiss her again, laying it on thick for their guest as he turned his nose up at the tongue action. 

"Oh my God, can't you guys go do that in your own room?!" He shrieked in a panicked voice, legs flailing when Miss Danger freely rolled her body against her lover's, whispering something filthy in his ear as her hand trailed down his chest. Thank God Chapa was dozing far away on the couch with a cowboy hat covering her ears... It made him blush just picturing it. 

"We already did," (y/n) replied over her shoulder, making her and Ray giggle like children as Steven audibly gagged. He'd wondered where they'd snuck off to when they first arrived at this hell hole. Still, now he had sick images in his mind, and now that he thought about it, the heroine's pyjamas were crumpled when she walked in...

"Twice." Oh, God, kill him now. Hell hath no fury like a doofus hath love for his sweet girl.

#ray manchester #ray manchester x reader #captain man x reader #dangerverse #danger force #x reader #henry danger #chapa de silva #reader insert #fanfiction #ray manchester smut #ray manchester fanfiction #captain man smut #captain man #henry danger smut #miss danger #danger force season 3 #kid danger #reader x character #xreader #cross posted on wattpad #cross posted on ao3 #mutual pining #smut

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*HOOOO, THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER. 31,000 words, mamacita! we're going straight in with some smut, and may I just say, I am quite proud of it. i was bored, sitting around my uni building, waiting for a VERY boring lecture, so...this...was born. 

Como siempre, mis amigos--as always--if you are too young for the nasty, DO NOT READ THIS. there is also a spicy bit in the middle, and fear not! Ray will also get his fun times soon ;)

also. fun fact that i did not know: cooper barnes (ray irl) was born in the same city as me :0 ...he's secretly english!

Anywho—¡Vamos!

"Taste so fucking good..."

(y/n) dozed peacefully, basking in the morning sun peaking through her curtains. It was early - she didn't know how early, but her foggy brain begged for a few more minutes. 

Dipping in and out of consciousness, she moaned softly, digging her chin into her feathery pillow as her skin warmed and prickled, feeling hazily heavenly. She couldn't remember another time when she'd woken up so peacefully in the morning--when the sanctuary of her bedroom made her feel so good... 

Were the sheets really so soft? Soft enough to make her feel like she was floating? Waves of subtle pleasure rolled through her body, spreading to the tips of her limbs and rolling in the back of her mind as she hugged a corner of the duvet. It was a little strange; for how cosily stifling the room felt, her bare body was exposed, stripped of any covers, making her twitch to pull them over her chest. 

"Such a sweet little thing..." 

She hummed at the whispering voice, swearing she was dreaming as she nuzzled her pillow more, begging her mind to fall asleep. The alarm clock hadn't rang yet, so she rightfully had those few minutes to herself - just her, the massive, soft bed, and whatever that good feeling was. 

She shifted slightly, rolling from her side to her back since her gut told her to. It murmured that she needed to widen her legs a little more, the warmth squeezing her flesh adding praises when she turned to jelly and relaxed. Her body seemed to move on its own like a marionette, utterly exposed, but that was okay - it felt too good to complain. 

A quiet moan fell from her lips, nothing more than a hum, and a curled fist scrubbed over her eyes in tandem with a hot thing. It licked up her leg--like the sheets brushed her inner thigh, making her jerk slightly, but then it was soothed. Heat settled into her core as her arms flopped beside her head, nude breasts heaving and painted in gold from the expansive windows. 

She loved the view, but she loved waking up to it more, squealing slightly as a jolt wracked her tummy. 

"God, you're soaked... Wanna fuckin' drink."

That made her eyebrows twitch; too much of a sensation in her core to be deemed normal. She hadn't had breakfast yet, yet she felt so full, like there was a pit in her empty stomach. The thirst was worse, craving something on her dry tongue as it wrapped around a scratchy whine. 

The fullness came and went - agonisingly slowly - yet left her hungering for more with an insatiable ache. 

It was a puzzle. A whirlwind of conflicting information, no matter how good it felt to lie there and question nothing. She had a scientist's brain, and something--the little grey cells at the back of her mind--said that the sun could never feel this good. 

It didn't treat her so gently, running from her collarbone, loitering on her tit, passing over her stomach and further. Slowly but surely, she came around, wondering if she was clutching at the last slips of a delightful dream when something nipped at her soft flesh before gently kissing somewhere in between. She never wanted to wake up if her mind could conjure such pleasure...

"Fuck, look at how you take me... Another, perhaps, sweet girl?" But the sun certainly didn't speak, and if it did, she doubted it would call her such names when it glowed so dazzlingly. 

Her eyes fluttered open, breaking the illusion of sleep as her senses exploded, noting that it was a bright, sunny day. She'd forgotten to close the drapes, so she rose at dawn. The laundry basket was full, so she'd have to put a load in the washing machine. Schwoz had texted her, so she'd have to see what the fuzzy little weirdo wanted. She could even see a V-shaped flock of birds flying past the mountain, telling her that a new day had begun. 

It was all very typical in the daily life superheroine, but something was missing. There were no arms around her waist, no warm lump for her leg to hook over, no nook to tuck her nose, and certainly no soft snores in her ear. No doofus. No Ray. 

So, what was that...good feeling?

Picking her heavy head up from the pillow, chin pressed into her clavicle in a very flattering position, she quirked an eyebrow at the thatch of chocolate hair poking from between her thighs. All she could see were two reddened ears peeking through the floof - no eyes, nose, or mouth. But goddamn, could she feel them...

"Doofus?..." she mumbled, watching his feverish bobbing through bleary eyes once she realised where he'd sneakily disappeared. 

"Yeah?" Ray asked casually, glancing up for the first time in an hour like it was the most natural thing in the world, regardless of whether his chin was slick from the mess at the apex of her thighs. 

His eyes were wide and innocent as if she'd interrupted a good book or TV show--as if he hadn't slipped under the duvet after waking up early, throwing it off their blazing bodies when he decided to have a little one-on-one time. Just him and his best girl, reacquainting each other while his wife got the sleep she deserved. 

"What are you doing?" 

"I was hungry..." he replied with a shrug, slightly muffled since he refused to remove his lips from her slick lips, licking lightly as she sighed. 

"Oh, God..." (y/n) gasped, not knowing if she was frustrated from how he woke her up to such an overwhelming feeling or if his tongue truly felt that good. 

Everything was so blurry, lines between reality and dreamland crossing until that scientist's brain couldn't make heads or tails of the world, but one thing was for sure - the pleasure was intense. Stronger than usual, wildly when he flicked her clit lightly. She cried out, her hand sluggishly finding his hair as he groaned at the sweetness pooling on his tastebuds. 

"So..." he continued, briefly pulling away to swallow and take a breather, "I cashed in a coupon."

"At six-thirty in the morning?" His wife retorted dryly, glancing at the clock to see that it was another early start because he thought with his cock, not his brain. She relaxed into the mattress, keeping her legs spread for him to resume his languid explorations, lapping at her fluttering hole. 

Whenever he wanted more to drink, he slid two fingers inside, surprising her at the little resistance and the wetness pouring out of her. He eagerly collected every drop on his tongue, groaning at the honeyed taste, and it made her think he'd been at it for a while, fucking her gently until her mind caught up with her trembling body. 

Those goddamn coupons, wrapped in several T-shirts and tucked into his suitcase for their flight home from Hawaii; Ray refused to leave them to go dusty on a shelf. No, he'd only used a handful and was eagerly waiting to cash them, not that he needed any more inspiration for their sex life. 

"Whenever, wherever you said," the man noted, having etched her promise onto his frontal lobe so they never stopped using them. He suckled on her clit, obsessed with how he could crook his fingers and make her writhe - his very own puppet - but it was the nectar he was after. 

A man couldn't live more than three days without climbing between her thighs, and he'd been quiet about it, settling below her without so much as a sound or accident. She slept longer than he had - who was his sweet girl to grumble?

"Okay, okay. But which one was it? The one where I can't sleep in?" (y/n) pouted moodily, yet didn't push him away. Her hand remained on his crown, encouraging him to keep doing whatever that thing was with his tongue as she brought the other to her breast, holding it gently, tweaking her nipple like he would if he wasn't busy. 

"No...overstimulation." The deep growl made her shudder, heightened by her fingers' sensation. He said it so casually, resuming his work like it was nothing, squeezing her thigh as he quickly picked up the pace. His digits plunged her cunt further, hungry for more now that she was awake and tempting him with her breathless moans and bratty remarks--fuck, her fingers in his hair. 

Seeing her sleeping and writhing was one thing - so fucking hot. She mewled in her sleep, bucked her hips like she was dreaming of having him in her pussy while he sucked the juices out of her, but nothing compared to how she called his name. His precious wife moaned his name under her breath when he slowly slid his thick ring finger inside her, bumping the cool metal against her folds as hers glinted in the sunlight. 

He could only imagine what raced through her mind as he flexed against the mattress. Still, he liked to think she dreamed of him above her, legs around his waist, nails digging into his back, and a Hawaiian sunset outside. He hoped to give her the same satisfaction in her imagination as he did now, grinding his weeping cock into the fitted sheet like he was back at the beach with her. 

That's how he got the idea for the coupons. Yet to see all that in real life, waking up with glowing skin and her half-lidded eyes, ordering him to service her like only she could - a man could go feral. 

"Overstimulation?" (y/n) gasped, whimpering when he squeezed her thigh a little tighter, too caught up in his thoughts to realise how she'd been toying with her tits and tugging on his scalp. 

"Yeah. A breakfast coupon, so I can get my fill of this pretty pussy," Ray smirked, licking his upper lip while calmly releasing her leg to reach for her smooth breast. He'd never lie to her, utterly besotted and softening as he felt its weight resting against his palm, thumb brushing over her nipple. 

His darling wife mewled and dropped her head back as the movement worked in tandem with his fingers, loudly fucking her needy cunt. He couldn't wait to fuck her out of her mind, having had much experience giving her two, three, or even four orgasms a night. But how many was her limit? How far could he go until she screamed, her throat raw, soaking the sheets? 

He wanted to find out--for science. Definitely for science. And maybe just to see his beloved wife fucked-out, wrecked, sweating, and jelly-like in their bed. 

"And I must say she knows how to feed a guy."

"Is that so?" (y/n) replied as calmly as she could muster, with his forearm jerking faster, plunging in and out between her thighs. She tried to keep her voice level, core clenching at the thought of him milking her for all she had. It sounded like a challenge, and Captain Man never backed down from those, camping with his mouth ready to collect as she squirmed. 

She felt it again--the sensitivity. Her head flinched to the side, cheek pressed into the pillow when the butt of his palm rubbed her clit, sending sparks along her spine. She never usually came so quickly, nor did it feel so intense, but Ray got her there, briefly leaning up to peck her neck, jaw, and lips as his leaking cock brushed her thigh. 

Fuck, she wanted it. 

"Yep! Made you cum twice before I even saw those gorgeous eyes of yours. That has to be a new record!" He gloated happily like he'd come first in a school race or beaten the smartest kid in class in a math test. She choked at the news, suddenly knowing why her cunt clenched so readily--why it wasn't gentle like a ripple in a pond as usual. 

He brought her to her third orgasm, having ripped the first two from her body while she dozed in the pleasure. No wonder she felt so good, lying there, letting him have his merry way as she came and came, giving him the honey he so desperately wanted while she twitched in her sleep. And it wasn't even seven AM yet...

"Raymond, I'm--I'm not a--a fucking Nintendo..." she gasped indignantly, hips jerking as he worked to bring her to completion again, remembering how she came so prettily for him earlier. But for someone so talkative, she arched her back and rocked her hips into his hand, pulling his face further into her pussy, among him smirk. Needy little girl.

Even in her sleep, she responded to his touch only, cumming with only a quick finger and kiss on her clit. He loved it, leaving her breast alone to sling a heavy arm over her stomach so he could savour the third. 

"But sweet girl...I play with you so well..." he remarked gently but oh-so cockily, mouth wide open with his tongue out and ready to catch her slick when she climaxed again. It wrung her out, a wave of intense pleasure erupting through her stomach as he groaned and slurped, loving how her slick spread to his wrist. 

She fought against his hold, gasping and swearing to God as his muscular arm kept her near his mouth, growling that he wasn't fucking finished drinking yet. He swallowed his fill, promising he could die then and there and go to his reward without regret, save that he didn't get to have one last drop. 

His fingers didn't slow, not even when she jerked and cried, shouting that it was too much, too soon, too fast, but he worked her through the sensitivity. Tears clung to her eyelashes, but she looked so damn pretty, eventually loosening her iron grip on his forearm when the painful sensitivity became burning pleasure--hotter than before. 

"Fuck--doofus--fuck me now?" She asked weakly, thinking she'd just about survive combustion if she had him inside her, craving the stretch of his thick cock carving her walls apart. His pace was torture, but she couldn't tell him to stop, suddenly feeling another climax in her stomach, slowly and steeply building. 

She rarely got four in one night - although it wasn't unheard of. For all his selfishness, Ray was a giver at heart, grinning into her folds as he slurped and sucked around his fingers, knowing he could beat his personal best. Usually, he paced her, spreading them out throughout the day or giving her breaks in between. 

But no; today, he wanted to truly break her--and it would be by his hand, even if his cock wept against the mattress. 

Unhurriedly and gently, he kissed her clit, murmuring praises to his second favourite girl as she provided such refreshment. His hips bucked when his wife moaned, thrashing wildly at the lewd sounds coming from her mouth and soaked pussy, unknowing if she wanted to cum again or push him away. But her arms were like noodles, limply resting by her side or on his head, taking without complaint, except that she wanted more. 

"You'll cum on my fingers and love it, pretty girl. I'm not fucking you," the man told her firmly, slapping her meaty thigh as (y/n) through her head back, whining childishly. It was so unlike her, but the thought of such a denial made her cry more than the bittersweet relief, wriggling her hips and stomping her foot into the springs in a small temper tantrum. 

"Pleeeeaaaseee? So fucking wet--just slide right in..."

Another slap landed on her flesh, tearing a choked moan from her swollen lips when her lover yanked his fingers from her tight hole at lightning speed, bringing them down on her abused cunt. Her entire body jerked, shocked by a jolt of violent pleasure surging from her clit and the sudden change as he reentered her body before he lost her fourth orgasm. 

"True..." he remarked smugly, drawing circles with the tip of his tongue as he settled down again, broad shoulders keeping her pinned legs spread for his feast. He wouldn't have any brattiness, crystal eyes glaring over the curve of her tummy as a warning - his coupon, his rules. 

It was like he'd never left, resuming his frenzied pace as she tugged on his brown hair, tears pooling in her ears as he chuckled. That tantrum didn't last long, her body melting into the bed to take whatever the fuck he gave her--and she'd be grateful. His cock would be nice, but having his pursed lips create a vacuum around her clit and his finger knuckle-deep in her pussy was good enough. 

"Shit, you were made for this, weren't you?" Ray groaned, prodding a third finger at her entrance as she began to mellow, so slick his fingers barely provided any sweet friction. A wail left her as the extra digit slid in without issue, stretching her walls perfectly and coaxing more wetness onto his tongue. 

He marvelled at how she accommodated him when he leaned back to pant and admired her precious centre, velvet clinging to his hand, pulling him in. So fucking needy...she was so innocent and demure, outwardly pretending she was above such debauchery. Yet, she took half his hand like it was nothing, sobbing filth into her palm as a soft sheen dappled her skin. 

"Mm-hmm... So, fuck me. Fuck your wife," she challenged, rocking her hips toward him suggestively--daring him to say to hell with it all and use her pussy in its rawest form. And she knew his most profound weakness--of course, she did. 

His eyes clouded further - if possible - as she weakly cupped his cheek, ensuring she pressed her fourth finger into his skin so he could feel the smooth pinkish gold of her warmed ring. If their honeymoon taught her anything, he got off on his wife--how she was tied to him forever. Their vows, the intimacy, the domesticity, the idea of being a family made her husband feral. 

Ray would be a liar if he said he didn't think about it because who was he to ignore his wife's demands? He lived to serve her, and if she wanted his cock, she could have it--God knows he was aching to slip in, pound and paint her walls until it stuck. But before that, he just wanted to try something...

"Now, now, darlin'. How am I supposed to drink every last drop if I'm not down here waiting for it? 'M not wasting anything."

He grinned, sucking on one of her folds, pulling it into his mouth and nibbling--just to hear her squeal for his sadistic satisfaction. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, y'know..."

"You're such a d-dork," (y/n) gulped, continuously licking her lips between gulps of air, not needing to look to know he was laughing at his joke. The vibrations rolled with his tongue, lodging a groan in her throat, making her feet hover next to his ears--it almost felt too good. 

"I could stop if you want..."

"Fuck--don't you dare!" She growled, eyes breaking open when she frowned, too close now to stop. It would be fucking cruel to deprive her as she hung over the edge, waiting to topple over on his command--when his fingers hit that special spot again. 

They flexed inside her again, rotating slightly at a different angle as Ray beamed and pulled one leg over her shoulder. He didn't care if it ached, leaning it back to press his face into his happy place, unbothered if it funnily squished his nose. This oasis was heaven for a parched, six-foot-something, doofy man. 

"That's my girl." He smiled, returning to affectionately kiss and nuzzle her clit. As if he could leave such a treasure without giving her a little sugar, hand blurring as it mercilessly plunged into her pussy, sensing the first ripples of her end. "How close are you?"

"So fucking close--shit, I--I can't cum again, Ray--" she gasped, head jolting from side to side as her stomach clenched and spasmed, becoming impossibly tight. 

How could she forget who he was? Captain Man had a learned speed, moving faster than most and with such power. He relentlessly milked her for his benefit, getting off on her orgasms more than she did, but she didn't care. His heavy arm kept her still, allowing him space and time to curl those three fingers inside her as his hips shuffled against the mattress, rocking the bed. 

"Yes, you can," he groaned, forcing himself to keep his eyes open even as he fucked the bedsheets, pretending they were her cunt wrapped around him. "Give it to me, sweet girl. I want it...feel it coming." 

It hit her like a freight train, slamming hard enough to make her howl and scream at his word--like she'd ever cum without permission. Always his good girl. Her fists tightened, nearly shredding whatever cotton she could grab as he laughed into her pussy, delighted by the slobbery mess on his tongue, gulping everything down, shaking his flexing muscles through her walls. 

He briefly removed his fingers to lap at the source, humping the air when a gush streamed into his mouth, imprinting on his memory forever. Two fingers parted her lips, inspecting her quivering hole, remarking he could fuck her now, and she'd still fit like a second skin. But he wouldn't, staying on his stomach as his dark gaze studied his perfect wife - and the mess she'd made. 

"Too fucking good to me, sweet girl..." Ray praised her, pulling away momentarily to smooch her inner thigh and regain his breath. Her skin glowed in the morning light, sticky and searingly hot, but she looked beautiful, even if she could barely open her eyes. He loved her like this, too weak and tired to do anything, and it gave him the job he craved more than anything - to be the one who cared for her in this most vulnerable state. 

"And, goddamn, so sweet you are..." His arm stretched over her body until his fingertips brushed her lips, smearing her slick around them. Her mouth dropped open feebly, moaning softly when they pushed inside to share what gave him the fucking will to live before he pulled them away. 

Perhaps it made him greedy, but he wanted every drop to himself, licking at the trickle that ran down his wrist and forearm, sucking on each finger down to the last knuckle until his hand was clean. Four was a lot, yet as his beloved wife lay there, breathless, exhausted, and beautiful, a dastardly idea came into his mind. 

"...One more," he declared quietly, and much to (y/n)'s shock, gasping loudly, his fingers slipped into her cunt once more. 

She swore she couldn't do it three fingers full, again, and more sensitive than she'd ever been, an overwhelming pressure bubbling in her belly as he slowly pumped in and out. A single kiss was placed on her pubic mound, his head lazily resting on her shaking thigh as he toyed with her--as if he was experimenting, rubbing her clit like a kid who--couldn't--stop--touching--

"No, no--no, Ray, I can't--"

"Let me try, sweet girl. Come on, one last time..." he murmured, using his most soothing, velvetiest voice to ease her worries because he knew her limits. He knew when she'd had enough. He knew when to back off. She could leave that to him, and he'd take care of her. Always had, always would, so he curled his digits and renewed his efforts, going deeper and harder than before, if not as fast. 

A strangled shriek left her, shattering the peace of the early hours as a pillow soared through the air, landing halfway across the room. She thrashed, kicked, and screamed, pounding her fists beside his head before roughly yanking at his hair, nearly pulling out clumps. 

This was too good, feeling like a rocket was about to burst through her tummy, a different kind of pressure quivering in her core. Honestly, it frightened her a little. Something felt off - not a bad off, but it had never happened before, making her think something was wrong as her walls convulsed like crazy, untying a knot she didn't know was there. 

"Wait, Ray--I--I'm not--I'm gonna---fuck!" Before she could say anything else, push him away, or work out what had happened, the world went black - the only thing in her eyesight was a tiny white pinprick like when she turned off her grandma's TV. 

The last thing she heard was Ray's groan; it sounded like he was underwater as her body went limp, falling into the deepest, most comfortable sleep of her life in what could've been an eternity for all she knew. 

Between her thighs, the man fucked her through the hottest thing he'd seen in his life, mouth wide open, tongue arched over his bottom lip when she gushed onto his hand. Not a droplet, a trickle, or even a wave, but a waterfall of sickly sweet liquid dousing his face's lower half in what had to be more than a mouthful. It didn't stop, pouring out of her in jets, thoroughly soaking the bed below her, and (y/n) didn't even know. 

She'd fucking squirted. And it was hot. 

"Oh, fuuuuuuuck--" Ray sang his praises as he slurped whatever he could get, thinking that if sipping on her cunt was heaven, this was nirvana. He wished he'd recorded it, wanting to replay the moment over and over again when, to his utter surprise, she came out of nowhere, and the fifth time was the charm. 

In all his born days, he'd never made anyone squirt, for all his experience and past lovers, believing it was a pornographic myth, so to see his sweet girl turning into his personal fucking fountain...he'd never recover. It ruined him - honestly, truly, completely wrecked him, leaving the mighty hero gasping and pussy-drunk against the sheets as she lay there - seemingly lifeless, yet glowing. 

It took a moment to catch up with reality, swallowing and swallowing and swallowing without thought until he realised that his precious wife was motionless. Head back, arms bent beside her ears at an awkward angle, mouth propped open from that final scream. Thanks to his godly prowess, she was out for the count, dozing better than any sleeping pills could ever provide. 

"Sweet girl?" Ray called out gently, stroking and squeezing her thigh as he waited for a response. Nothing, not even a flutter of her eyelashes in recognition. 

"Pretty girl?" He tried again, gulping the honey on his tongue to speak louder, but still, she didn't move. 

"(y/n)?" This time, it was more like a whimper as he crawled up her body, careful not to trample her noodley limbs. Hovering over her body, his frame supported by a beefy pillar beside her temple, his knuckles dragged down her cheek, catching on her tacky skin, but he didn't notice. 

All he cared about was that he'd fucked his wife unconscious--perhaps fucked her too well. He kissed her forehead, bottom lip wobbling, tears lining his lashes when she didn't respond, and guilt pooled in his stomach. He'd wanted that last one--wanted to smash his record of getting five orgasms under his belt in less than an hour, but he'd gone too far. 

The only consolation was that he'd married a strong woman. A capable woman. A woman with super-regeneration, so he didn't lose himself in panic, streaking down the hall to get help. The last thing he wanted was to go find Schwoz and tell him that he accidentally broke his wife after fingering her too much. It would break his handyman, too. 

He'd never get over the shame, so he padded off to the bathroom, ensuring he left her comfortable with the quilt pulled up to her chin lest she get cold. Quickly soaking a rag in cold water and filling a small glass, he returned and left them on the bedside table before tucking himself into her side. 

Like a lost child, he nuzzled into her chest, chastely pecking the curve of her breast as he gazed up at her. Now, it was just a waiting game, endlessly praying that she'd wake up soon as he stiffened like a sardine. It didn't matter if they lay in grimy sheets, tired and dehydrated; he had to see those pretty eyes to put his mind at ease. 

So, he waited, and waited..until fifteen minutes had passed, never once moving or leaving his place by her side. 

"D--doofus?" A croaky voice creaked as its owner sank into the land of the living again, feeling like she'd been hit by a bus. 

(y/n) woke with a thudding in her core, heart, and head, yet for all her heaviness and exhaustion, she felt strangely...complete. Like an emptiness had been filled, soothing any complaint she had, and that's when it came flooding back to her. Rough fingers, deep growls, a pleasurable fullness as a brief torrent ravaged her thighs - a mythical sensation. 

"(y/n)?" Ray gasped, eyes darting up from where he'd been re-memorising every bump, freckle, dimple, stretch mark, and inch of cellulite on her body. To his delight, he saw a crinkled smile staring back, warming his heart when he realised that his precious wife had woken up - exhausted and delirious, but she was awake. At long last. 

He leapt onto his elbow, pulling the comforter entirely off her body, so he could check for injuries or some shit--like he'd just lay there and let her hurt. She was fine, reaching up to stroke her fingers through his bed-head, her arm aching like all hell. 

"You know I don't like it when you call me that... Sounds weird," the woman joked, nose wrinkling at how serious he sounded, unlike the carefree, lovable idiot she'd married. She didn't know what had happened, but she was sure it didn't warrant her yucky given name; she was too used to all those sickly pet names. 

"Shit, sorry, sweet girl, but you scared me."

"How?" She frowned, leaving his hair alone to thread her fingers through his, holding his hand since he clearly needed it. They were together in their bedroom, wrapped up in a post-orgasmic glow, so to see him trembling and on the verge of tears nearly made her cry in sympathy. Her poor doofus - he looked like a kicked puppy...

"Passing out on me like that. Thought I'd...broken my wife," he confessed quietly, pulling her wrist to his mouth so he could smooch her pulse point loudly--just glad that it still thrummed under his lips. 

He'd genuinely been afraid for a second, hearing her heartbeat but seeing no other signs of life, meaning those fifteen minutes were the longest of his life. What would he do without her? Knowing that he'd hurt her, even in the throes of passion, killed him and cut into his soul a little bit, but as he subconsciously drifted away, (y/n) pulled him back in. 

She pressed their bodies together, enjoying his bare skin on hers as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a long, slow, passionate kiss. While a little timid at first, Ray soon groaned into her mouth, submitting himself for her pleasure as she ran her tongue along the seam of his lips. Now, this felt good...

"What happened? I remember having the best damn orgasm of my life, and then everything went black." She glanced away briefly, hearing nothing but their ragged breaths once they pulled away, tentative but as intimate as always. 

"You ever squirted before, darlin'?" He asked quietly, smoothing his hand over her curves as her eyebrows knitted together. 

It almost made her recoil, putting something like that down to the job of a...night flower or someone similar. Of course, she'd read about it, but then again, it was confined to the trashy women's magazines, something her limited previous partners never had the talent or interest to achieve. 

"No..."

"Well, it's fucking hot." His boyish grin said everything, and her mouth dropped open, much like he had done, when she felt the wetness between her thighs, under her ass, seeped into the sheets. 

Fuck, she'd have to put them in with the next laundry load, but under his proud gaze, there was no room to be ashamed. It felt like an accomplishment, especially when she caught the slight sheen on his chin and chest, which certainly wasn't sweat. So, that would explain the peculiar but not unwelcome taste she'd found when kissing him. 

"Safe to say I won't need coffee after drinking from you this morning."

"That's...oddly sweet," the woman giggled, tilting her head back when her husband kissed her cheek and jaw, utterly besotted with the walking pin-up he'd scored. Of all the girls he'd loved before, and there'd been many, no one compared to her, not when she held him in her arms like he was born to be there. 

"Not half as sweet as you."

"Someone's trying to get lucky..." she teased, holding his face to her neck, enjoying the ticklish sensation when it dawned on her. She'd cum five times, but Ray? He'd not cum once, and that seemed highly unfair. 

"I can't feel my legs, but I'll suck your cock, doofus. Let you cum down my throat..."

"Um...that's okay." 

Four-Oh-Four, (y/n) not found. She blinked in surprise when her doofus, the world's horniest man, the man who seduced her and had her in his bed on their second day of dating, the man who fucked her every morning without fail, the man who'd just fingered her unconscious...had refused a blowjob. It just didn't make sense. 

He lived to see her on her knees. He'd die to have his tongue wrapped around his cock while he lied back and guided her movements. If he couldn't fill her pussy, she could be damn sure he'd drink every last drop. 

He just wasn't the type of guy to decline her eager affection, and it made her mad? Concerned? Offended? Disappointed? Maybe a mix of all four. 

"Okay, are you broken?" She blinked, gently pulling back on his hair until she saw his bashful expression. "'Cause I just offered to suck you off, and you turned it down. Are you even my doofus?"

"Yeah...I'm yours," Ray quickly nodded, strangely too shy to meet her eye. Still, he revelled in her love, not embarrassed to rub his cheek against her shoulder affectionately as he cast his gaze downward. "But, I, uh...took care of it."

(y/n) followed his stare, going down their bodies as he shuffled back a bit, revealing a distinct wet patch on the bed, and this time, it wasn't from her. 

She knew what she saw: a thick, pearly, sticky liquid clinging to the fitted sheet, right where he'd been jerking his cock to her quivering and moaning. His cock was flaccid, untouched yet fulfilled, with the slightest smear of cum on his inner thigh, but really, his pinks ears and cheeks gave it away. 

"Oh." Was all she said, blankly meeting his eyes again as her face warmed too, although hers was more from the power surge. Pride bloomed in her chest, feeling like she should shout from the rooftops that she'd made the great Captain Man cum early without touching his dick - the guy who could fuck for hours and still hold his nerve. Talk about pussy power - hers was fucking magical.

"Yeah," the man shrugged, slightly embarrassed when she chuckled, but it was worth it when she returned to dotting kisses over his face, placing a final one on the tip of his nose. 

If anything, she was flattered, knowing they had two mattress protectors underneath them for a reason. It was so he could flex his coupons all he wanted, and her honeymoon plan had worked; that had to be one of the steamiest sessions of their lives. 

"Guess it was hot, huh?" She smiled, closing her eyes when his head fell to the crook of her neck. They'd rest for a bit longer, just until their alarm clocks rang, and then some more. 

"Sweet girl...you have no idea."

~Swellview Academy for the Gifted~

It was another school day. A new morning, new lessons, and more wisdom for Ray and his sweet girl to impart to their young and impressionable pupils. 

To start things off nicely, (y/n) had planned a test for Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa - nothing huge, just a few notes to ensure they remembered the curriculum. It should've been easy, but nothing was ever straightforward in SWAG, which she and her doofus quickly learned when they gathered around in the classroom, ready to explain what the kids had to do. 

The couple stood at the front of the classroom, waiting for their students to settle down, but that was easier said than done. They watched tiredly, pacing slightly whilst Ray tapped a baseball bat against his palm as the kids rolled around on gym balls. It was funny seeing how they boinged around on their butts and tummies. Still, it was also pathetic, given that four soon-to-be professional heroes were currently being bested by some big bouncy balls. 

"Doofus?"

"Yeah, darlin'?" Ray hummed as he frowned at the ridiculous sight of pupils, turning to wrap an arm around her shoulders and brush his lips against her forehead. 

"You look handsome today..." (y/n) cooed as she raked a hand down his front, feeling his stiff muscles under her fingers. 

He smiled at that, feeling his core clench at her touch and flirty tone, glad he had something to make him happy since his team was failing so miserably. Her eyes couldn't leave his body, thinking he looked unbelievably hot in his tight T-shirt, a simple thing, yet it made her thirsty like they hadn't...all week. For some reason, she felt extra touchy today, making even his grumpiness seem hot. 

"I don't look handsome every day?" He flirted back, trailing his hand down her arm as she gave him what Henry always called her "goo-goo eyes". God, how many times he had to leave the room because he saw that look...

"Of course, but..." she trailed off, not-so-subtly glancing from his lips to his belt buckle as Ray pushed his chest out. Admittedly, they'd gotten out of bed a little earlier than morning to set up this test, so affection was few and far between, but, usually, he was the flirtatious one, not that he was complaining. 

"Are we doing anything after this class?"

"I don't think so..." he grinned, catching her drift when she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, even as the kids flailed and groaned. She was unusually needy, knowing it had been a long few weeks, with opportunities for alone time few and far between. It wasn't easy for lie-ins when four kids were pounding on the door at eight-thirty every morning. 

"Why do you wanna f--"

"Ah!" His lips, curled in a smirk at first, twisted into a frown when a familiarly scarlet bolt of electricity zipped past (y/n)'s body, narrowly missing her arm if it wasn't for the pearlescent glow in her eyes. 

Sensing danger before it hit, she bowed her back and arched into her husband to avoid getting hurt. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her pressed against his rugged chest as he glared at Chapa, who obviously didn't mean to fry her teacher. Still, she couldn't control a little current escaping her fingers as she stretched over the squishy ball. 

Retirement didn't sound so bad right now - what did a man have to do to get a moment's peace to flirt with his wife?

"All right, that's enough!" Ray growled, turning off a digital timer on the board since the test was now useless. Everything was ruined, and hearing (y/n)'s little gasp when she dodged the jolt was the last straw. He really was Mr. Grumpy Pants today...

"How'd we do?" Bose asked breathlessly as they stopped wriggling around, although Chapa flopped onto the floor with a grunt. The couple looked at them with a cringing disdain, wondering where they went so wrong because this was just the beginning - so very simple. 

"Poorly!" the hero replied gruffly, which wasn't the best thing for poor Mike to hear. She wasn't one to fail tests, something (y/n) related to, and instantly felt uncomfortable knowing they'd fail because she needed academic success as personal validation.

"Can we practice tonight and retake this test tomorrow?" She begged, appealing to the heroine's kindness and mercy since she knew that if anyone could master the art of bouncy-ball-sitting, it was her. Smashing the competition was what she did. 

"This wasn't even the test! We just thought it would be fun if you guys sat bouncing for a while!" (y/n) sighed and scrubbed her face with an open palm, feeling her lust fade away, wondering where her instructions went so wrong. Of course, she'd planned something much more complicated to test their heroic abilities - what would bouncy balls do?

"Why don't you sit bouncing if you think it's so easy?" Chapa sneered, feeling humiliated that she'd bellyflopped the floor after floundering like a fish. And all because they wanted to have fun? She laughed at that, giving the adults her usual sulky pout. 

But Ray -shockingly- didn't rise to her challenge, scrunching his nose before pulling the remote control from his pocket. He blasted each gym ball, turning them to ash and cinder so the kids fell against the tiles again now that the fun was over. He was such a killjoy but didn't dwell on their failure, waltzing to the lectern to begin his lecture, yet not realising how his wife watched his every move with catlike eyes. 

"The real test is about to begin..." he revealed, and they quickly got to their feet, eager to please if he gave them the chance. 

"Okay, who can tell us the easiest crime to commit?" (y/n) asked, rubbing elbows with her doofus, the slightest touch making her tummy flutter. She wasn't usually so needy, but there was something about him today... But she had to focus on her teaching, giving the children one of her bright, warm smiles to show them that she didn't care if they got it wrong - she just wanted their best. 

"Jaywalking!" 

"Jay-dancing!" Mike and Bose suggested with rapid-fire enthusiasm. Chapa, however, wasn't so chirpy, standing there with her arms crossed as Miles took his time--like always. 

"Stealing my phone!"

"White-collar crime. Rarely prosecuted," the boy retorted, knowing a strange amount of real-world issues for someone so young. His voice was so dry, but he was confident, knowing he was correct even if they weren't expecting it. 

"You're all wrong--except for Miles," (y/n) grinned, feeling like she was genuinely imparting her knowledge, and the boy nodded smugly. 

"No, we're talking about a crime that's so easy, it's like taking candy from a baby--" Ray grinned sneakily, a strange glint in his eye as he teased the group, refusing to tell them what he had planned. While his sweet girl covered the learning side, he liked to make things fun, often roping his faithful handyman into his schemes since he'd never do anything humiliating himself. So, right on cue...

"SCHWOZ!" He yelled, looking at the room at the back of the classroom, where someone could take the stairs to the Man's Nest if they wanted to. The genius skipped into the room with a moody expression gracing his face as he briskly passed the children, looking like he was regretting his life choices. 

And why wouldn't he? Per his boss' instructions, he wore a ridiculously garish onesie instead of his overalls, looking stupid with the puppy-print fabric tucked into his work boots and a giant rainbow lollipop in his fist. He felt silly, hearing the giggles around the room as he twirled before standing still, acting like an infant just because Ray threatened to fire him if he didn't comply. It wasn't fair, but he needed this job...

"I am Baby. I loves me lolly, and I hope no one takes from me..." he said bitterly, glaring at the couple across the room--at Ray because he forced him to do this, and (y/n) because she tried and failed to hide her laughs. She chuckled into her hand, thinking he was the fuzziest, cutest, yet weirdest baby she'd ever seen, and he wasn't impressed.

"So, you want us to stop you from taking candy from a baby?" Mika asked, understanding what Ray meant now that she saw Schwoz, and (y/n) nodded. 

"Oh, not us! My sweet girl would never hurt a baby, and I'm far too good a person for that," the man replied innocently, making his wife roll her eyes because she knew of his lesson plan. It was strange and wacky but totally Ray, and whilst schwoz wasn't happy with being roped into his schemes, he couldn't wait to impart his knowledge. 

"You're stopping..." he paused, turning away from the kids and bending over, swiftly rubbing his fingers through his hair and pressing something sticky on his upper lip before turning around again.

"ROY!" The man declared, spinning around to glare at the puzzled team with a crazed look in his eye, looking deranged with his hair all mused and a fake moustache plastered under his nose. Ray--or Roy as he called himself--sneered at the kids, who didn't understand what he was playing at when he crept around the mini-stage, much to his sweet girl's exasperation. Most schools weren't like this...

"Roy?" Miles frowned with his eyebrows knitted together.

"It's Ray but evil..." (y/n) explained tiredly, nudging her doofus in the ribs when he tried to stick his face near hers, grunting like a weirdo as he acted as this...character. 

"And I hope he no takes me lolly!" Schwoz whimpered fakely, pretending to be scared as he wiggled the candy in his slightly sticky hand. Honestly, he wasn't paid enough for this. 

"Oh, Roy's takin' that lolly...unless somebody...stops me," Ray growled in his adenoidal voice before creeping forward like some kind of Scooby Doo character--all exaggerated with his crooked fingers and giant steps. The kids didn't need to be told twice, readying themselves for the mentor's bizarre challenge. Chapa stepped up first, sliding in front of Ray, determined to prove herself after so many weeks of failing with her electricity. 

"Get zapped!" She hissed, immediately thrusting her arms forward to release some sparks, but still, her aim was terrible. Whilst she could conjure her power, when it burst forth from her fingertips, it whizzed past Ray's body, going wide and forcing (y/n) to hop the sidelines with a yelp. The man smirked smugly, standing like a statue as the girl desperately tried to hit him. Still, he didn't even need to try and protect himself - she couldn't even hit a stationary target. 

"No!"

"Okay, maybe not--maybe this one!" Chapa grunted, trying again with her other hand, releasing a small fork of lightning that barely brushed his ear. Even if she aimed correctly, it wasn't exactly a bolt from the heavens, just a tickle to sting the skin and make someone jump. 

"Miss!"

"This one! Stop--stop dodging!" Her open palm shot a bolt toward the ceiling, and the more she tried to zap that smirk off his face, the more Chapa grew frustrated. Her aim grew worse, blasting everything but Ray as he chuckled, so she swore he was cheating, swaying out of her range before her electricity could land. 

"Didn't even have to dodge. Roy don't dodge!" Ray retorted, loudly whispering to the kids and winking at his sweet girl like it was a secret. (y/n) suppressed her smile as Mika, Bose, and Miles rolled their eyes, rooting for their friends more than their cocky teacher.  

Even though it was a little mean to taunt her, he wasn't wrong, standing in the same old spot as she kept sparking, only to release a bolt that ricocheted off the smartboard and zipped back toward her body. It shot past her head and hit poor Schwoz in the eye, making Baby whine as he clutched his face, wondering what he did to deserve such rough treatment. 

"Dang it!" Chapa growled, scolding herself for failing the test since she obviously had. She wasn't an expert at this rescue thing yet, but she was pretty confident that shooting the vulnerable victim wasn't heroic. 

"You failed to stop Roy--next!" Ray announced with a tiny dab, thinking he was so hip and down with the kids with the dance moves he'd seen on Twitflash. After Chapa sulkily returned to the lineup, Bose skipped into the middle, not knowing what was happening. Still, he'd give it his best shot--and all with his usual innocently sweet smile. 

"Did it get a little cloudy in here? 'Cause I think a Brainstorm's a-brewing!" He quipped, proud of himself for thinking of something so witty since Ray liked it when they said cool things before attacking. As much as he wanted them to be swift and efficient, he loved a little flare, appreciating the clever wordplay from a kid typically so dense. 

"Ooh, sick entrance line. Roy approves! Let's see how you do with the execyoosh!" Ray cackled, sneaking back onto the lecturing stage as Bose prepared himself. 

Like always, he pressed two fingers against his temples and outstretched the other hand, aiming to lift Ray's baseball bat with his telekinesis. For something made of light yet durable aluminium, the boy made it look impossible, grunting and straining as his curled hand attempted to raise what felt more like a boulder than a bat. It moved a little, sliding across the floor limply as Ray stared at it blankly, knowing the boy's plan would be too obvious if he was a villain. 

"How is that supposed to stop Roy?" He asked thickly, throwing the kid a bored expression when the baseball bat floated horizontally, shaking terribly as Bose struggled to concentrate. 

"Whack him, Bose!" Mika encouraged him excitedly, hoping he'd manage to hit the hero and end his smugness. 

He groaned again, feeling like his brain was about to explode as he crooked a finger, commanding the bat to move slightly, picturing a cartoonish image of a crook getting beaten over the head with a bat. However, his wasn't precisely a damning blow--more like a gentle pat as it lightly tapped Ray's perky butt, making (y/n) giggle as it jiggled like jelly. Bose dropped the metal bat with a deep sigh, feeling exhausted despite the gentle exercise. 

"Sorry, guys..." he panted at his friends, his chest rapidly rising and falling as Ray rolled his eyes, easily distracted by the pretty girl at the lectern. 

"One more grunt, and I'd have to change my pants again today."

"Thanks for the weapon, kid. Roy played baseball in high school. Four hundred RBIs--could've gone pro if it wasn't for Roy's dang knee..." Ray said wistfully, going into a surprising amount of detail as he pouted at his injured leg like he'd genuinely lived this other life--all in the third person, apparently. It gained him a few weird looks from the kids and his wife, who wanted to know how long he'd been picturing Roy and his evil life after they'd planned this lesson. 

"How deep is Roy's backstory?" She asked, looking amused as Ray turned to her with an enamoured smile. He didn't look the same with that moustache like he was amidst a midlife crisis. However, she still saw her doofus, giving him an alluring gaze when he sauntered to her side, smirking. 

"Deeper than the seas, pretty girl, where Roy is a certified scuba instructor..." he crooned, thinking something like that would be hot and attractive to his wife as she giggled. Loving her bright smile, he stepped forward and cupped her cheek, hoping to satisfy his craving for something sweet by leaning in for a small kiss...only for (y/n) to put her fingers betwixt them. 

"Hey! I want a kiss..."

"Sorry, Roy. I only kiss my husband, Ray," the woman teased him, watching as a kaleidoscope of emotions whirled across his face in a split second - from confusion to sadness to anger to resilience. 

He pecked her open palm instead, accepting her refusal with dignity and grace since he saw the game in her eyes. As if the ring on his finger didn't match hers, but he shrugged it off, knowing he'd have her once they caught a moment alone and resumed the exercise. 

"Next!" Mika walked into the middle of the room with a confident face, eager than most to impress Ray. She'd wipe that disappointed, lovesick, puppy-like expression off his mug, having practised her super-scream every night for the past week to try and strengthen her vocal cords. 

"Get ready to be...blown away!" She exclaimed, as eager as Bose with her witty entrance line, although it wasn't quite so creative. And it didn't help how she twitched her fingers to highlight the pun, making her quip seem clunky and forced, unlike her friend's smoother delivery. 

"Unnecessary air quotes--B minus!" The hero retorted, making the dark-haired girl grit her teeth and curse. She wasn't used to failure, being the kid who always earned gold stars at school, but it wasn't all bad, not when she'd caught Ray in a particularly tetchy mood after (y/n) teased him like that. 

So, she didn't let the lowered grade deflate her enthusiasm, shaking her limbs loose as she dipped into concentration. Her hands opened next to her head, stretched open as she screamed, attempting to flex her throat in the unique way that made it super. It worked, vibrating slightly to create airwaves that tickled Ray's face and ruffled his hair a little, chocolate locks flapping gently in the breeze. 

He didn't look very impressed, and she guessed if this was real, Baby wouldn't have his candy anymore. 

"Take that!"

"Took it. Bored! Next!" Ray snapped and dabbed, quickly burning through his protégées and their pathetic powers. 

At long last, it was Miles' turn as his sister returned to the sidelines, grumbling, but he didn't see as...hurried as the others. He strolled calmly in front of Ray, looking rather bored with the situation--almost as if it didn't bother him. Flashing Ray a sickly sweet smile, he shoved his hands in his pockets, clearly making no attempt to teleport, attack, or pull any other manoeuvre to save Schwoz, much to the adults' confusion. 

"On the contrary, there will not be a next time," he declared confidently as Mika facepalmed, exasperated by his stubbornness.  

"What?" Ray frowned, wondering if he'd heard the kid correctly. He set the rules here and expected all the children to participate in his lessons, even if they were strange since they'd help them learn. What was Miles' deal?

"I refused to be tested, Roy," the kid replied, giving his boss a sceptically harsh glance as he refused to use his superpower. "I won't play your game. And besides, the solution will reveal itself.

"So...you're just gonna let Baby die?" Ray asked incredulously in his silly, evil voice, which made everyone ponder his words because he didn't say that before they started. They didn't think the exercise was so...critical and anguished, especially Schwoz, who looked up from picking his fingernails with a pale, panicked face. 

"Wait, what?"

"I thought you were just gonna take his candy!" Chapa gasped, thinking that if she knew the supposedly delicate and dangerous situation, she and the others would've tried harder. (y/n) observed quietly, folding her arms as she watched her husband dither, aware that he'd diverted from his plan and now had to think of an excuse. God, his arms looked really good in that shirt...

"What you don't know is that...the lollipop contains the very medicine that keeps Baby alive," Ray explained, making everything up as he went along. Still, they nodded, going along with whatever he said since this was his charade, despite Schwoz's bored grimace. 

"Miles, you have to fight him! You can't just wait for every problem to solve itself," Mika told her brother sternly, ignoring his impudent shrug. He always did this, believing more in his hippy, karmic nonsense than reason or science, and often refused to work because of it. He thought the universe would pay him back for being a good person, and whilst that was somewhat true, it frustrated everyone to see him standing idly by. 

However, the universe must've loved that boy. By some mystic intervention or Lady Luck's grace, Miles' problem was solved by a sudden and unexpected interruption as the school's security system kicked in, warning its occupants that someone was wandering too close for comfort. 

"Stranger approaching. School mode activated." The automated voice spoke robotically as the lights flashed red, meaning the test would have to resume another time before this wanderer saw something they shouldn't. 

"All right, test over!"

Ray and (y/n) were the first to jump into action, highly protective of their secrets as Schwoz took off running and screaming, knowing there was little he could do but hide - a weirdo like him wasn't exactly fit for public view dressed in a onesie. Ditching his moustache and shoving their flirting aside for now, the couple quickly instructed the kids to look normal as the classroom cleverly hid its superhero gear and replaced it with pens, pencils and coloured paper. 

"See? The problem solved itself. Feels good to be right!" Miles grinned as his friends dashed about, hugging the walls as the desks popped out of the floor and the chairs came down from the ceiling. 

"You're still gonna do that test!" (y/n) told him firmly, wanting to add to her notes about the boy's progress, and she couldn't do that if he didn't complete it. Still, she left the discussion there, hoping her warning sunk in as she and Ray slipped into their dapper blazers, rolling their shoulders to get used to the stiff material - looking so formal wasn't their usual style. 

As the board changed to some random, boring schoolwork, the kids hastily took their seats, settling into what appeared to be an ordinary lecture whilst the teachers hurried to the door. 

"Hello?" They could hear someone shouting from the other side of the thick oak, a scratchy, whiny, vaguely familiar voice before they took a deep breath and twisted the golden knob. Just act normal and pretend like it was a real school...

Ray opened the door to a Fuschia-wearing monster leaning on the frame, and he felt a shiver roll down his spine as he met its eyes. And he knew them all too well. He and (y/n) thought they'd seen the last of Sharona Shapen, an old acquaintance from Henry's school days and someone he'd not only had the misfortune of taking on a date once but kissing too. 

The thought made him want to puke, but first, he wanted to know why the garishly hideous woman was standing in his front porch light.

"Oh, hey, handsome!" Sharona greeted Ray smoothly as she waltzed into the building without so much as an invitation, ignoring the pretty woman by his side. The hero shivered at the so-called compliment, not wanting her or anybody else to flirt with him while he loved his wife--so now until forever. 

"Uh, can we help you?" (y/n) asked awkwardly, knowing she'd just been ignored like a doormat. Yet she held her ground as her husband closed the door, peering at the gangly woman as she analysed the classroom, looking ridiculous in her bright pink suit. Sharona had never been what one would call a fashionista. 

"Depends. Do you know any good-looking guys with low standards?" The blonde asked humorously, clearly the same sad, lonely woman she'd been when Henry Hart was still her pupil. Her personality didn't help, having a penchant for being awkward and weird, as well as her tacky dress sense. 

But the heroine didn't feel any sympathy for her, not when she always wooed her doofus like she wasn't in the room, so she chose to stick to his side, ensuring her gleaming wedding ring was on display. She wouldn't let her anywhere near her lover without hosing him down afterwards. 

"No, I'm married. I don't need to look for guys anymore," she replied with a polite yet strained smile, threading her arm through Ray's as he smiled. He still wasn't used to hearing it, beaming with pride that the woman on his arm was his wife, not that it phased Miss Shapen. She wasn't picky, not at all, and that's when it hit Mika. 

"Wait, aren't you a teacher at Swellview Junior High?" She asked, knowing she'd seen the woman before when she attended regular school. But she'd never been one of her pupils because she left before she was old enough for those classes. 

"I was, but Swellview Junior High and I both decided it was time to part ways."

"So you got fired," Chapa retorted dryly, knowing she was sugarcoating the truth because schools didn't let teachers go without a good reason. And with Sharona Shapen, (y/n) could believe it, having heard all about her bizarre exploits and low expectations when her old babies used to visit the Man Cave after school. Good times...

"Bingo! Anyway, I work for the city now. Sharona Shapen, school inspector, see?" The woman announced, showing them all the official identity papers she pulled from her back pocket and the couple wished she'd shown them when she first walked in. 

But that was part of her plan, smirking slightly when she saw how they gulped at the revelation. Before, she was just another overworked, underpaid teacher doing the nine-to-five. Still, now, she was in a position of power--and it definitely went to her head, making (y/n) pray that she went easy on them. 

"Gotta make sure every school in Swellview has a license, and, according to my records, you ain't got one!" 

"Well, can we get one?" Ray asked quietly, audibly swallowing the lump in his throat as his sweet girl's tummy fluttered with nerves. She hadn't thought about that - a license, assuming that high on Mount Swellview, no one would care if they opened a school, given how they were tucked away, minded their own business, and mostly kept to themselves. 

Neither she nor Ray thought about regulations or inspections; they just wanted to teach four kids to be superheroes, but the city officials had apparently noticed. 

"Maybe..." Sharona replied curtly, enjoying watching the handsome man and his timid wife squirm as she tucked her clipboard under her arm, 

"But you gotta pass my test!"

"I can pass your test! Anything! Give me your test, and I'll pass it! You got this..." Mika exclaimed, mumbling words of encouragement as her competitive streak flared upon hearing that word - test. She loved them, making her a little crazy, but she was good at them, studying harder and longer than most to prove that she was better than the rest. 

"Not you, smarty pants!" Sharona, however, wasn't so impressed, wondering where the try-hard popped up from and why she thought she could pass anything. 

"Thank you! I like yours too..." Mika grinned shyly, weirdly thinking the woman's curt tone was a compliment, but at least it seemed to smooth over her foul mood. 

"I bet you do...They're Bucci!" Miss Shapen replied smugly, turning around and wiggling her butt to the disgusted team to show them the disaster label. She had no shame, parading around with Bucci--some hideous, gaudy fashion designer--emblazoned on her ass in sparkling diamantes, both on the jacket and her pants. 

The suit must've cost thousands, yet for all that money, she still looked like a fire-damaged Barbie doll...

"This whole school needs to pass my test. You kids, the water supply, your hot teacher, his little wife..." She explained, and whilst Ray appreciated the small compliment, (y/n) couldn't help but growl. What did she need to do to make this woman back off?

She hugged his arm to her chest, glaring at Sharona for flirting with her husband, especially when she recognised their marriage and still disregarded it. Of course, he was hot, achingly so, but only she got to point it out...and see him naked. 

But she brushed it off, wanting to hear more about this test as the children wriggled in their chairs, uncomfortable with a stranger in their classroom. 

"I need to conduct a thorough investigation of this school right now, or I'm shuttin' it down!" The inspector declared, acting a little too dramatic for everyone's taste. Still, they said nothing, not wanting to upset the Fushica overlord before she handed the license over, even if that couldn't be today. They weren't ready...

"We can't take your test today because we're going on a field trip!" Mika lied nervously, and luckily, Sharona wasn't too bright. She was still suspicious, eyeing the kids and apparent teachers as they smiled sweetly--perhaps too sweetly. 

"Where to?"

"A field," (y/n) said instantly, not missing a beat as she stood a little closer to her doofus, her face stern and severe like a firm, merciless teacher, much like Sharon's used to be. It sounded absurd, but a field trip was a field trip, no matter where they went, and the woman could hardly argue with that if one of the headteachers said so. 

"Can I come?" Sharona asked, wanting to know what they were teaching in the field, but the heroine had an answer, too. 

"Did you bring your parents' signature?"

"No, my parents are ashamed of me," the weird woman replied, staring at the floor as everyone coughed awkwardly. They could believe that, observing the inspector and thinking she wasn't exactly a superstar in her eye-wateringly bright outfit. But this was good, and they had to fight the smiles itching to get onto their faces as they lured her away from snooping around the school. 

"All right then. Well, have a nice day!" Ray told her with a quick smile, reaching out to take her by the shoulders and guide her toward the door--to whichever hell hole she came from. The sooner she was gone, the better, and luckily, she didn't protest, shuffling toward the exit with nothing but a mildly confused countenance.  

"Well, I'll be back tomorrow!"

"Can't wait for that..." (y/n) hummed, standing by the door, ready to pull it open so she could throw Sharona out on her ear. She'd undoubtedly return to flirt with her doofus, darkening the heroine's mood, but at least they'd be rid of her for a short while. 

"And I better see some teaching. And some learning! Some Phys Ed, some Driver's Ed--I wanna see all the Eds! And if I don't...I'm shuttin' it down!" The loudmouth woman decreed as she paused in the doorway, glaring at the meek couple, who gulped at her furious tone. 

They didn't doubt her word, not liking the thought of being shut down by Sharona Shapen, of all people, and if SWAG was to go, they could say goodbye to Danger Force. The kids needed the school to fool their parents and learn to control their powers. So, when (y/n) finally closed the door behind her, bolting it to stop the beast from reentering, she and Ray faced the kids with worried frowns. 

"We better find some Eds..." the man announced to the sombre room, blowing his cheeks out as (y/n) held his hand tightly, watching the children exchange concerned glances. 

Okay, she'd take that kiss now. Anything to soothe her frazzled nerves...

~The next day~

True to her, Sharona showed up at SWAG the very next day. 

She strolled up to the front door like a woman on a mission, determined to prove her authority and power with the mere clipboard in her hand, wearing another hideous outfit – this one a grotesque prune colour, complete with a frilly, flowery blouse. This time, she hoped to catch the handsome teacher and his stupid wife off their guard, knowing they wouldn't have two field trips in one week, so she eagerly pressed the doorbell, ready to wreak some chaos. 

But Ray and (y/n) hadn't been idle. Despite only having a few hours to prepare, they and the kids devised a curriculum for her test, organising many fake lessons to please any city inspector. Everything had to be perfect, from the classroom layout to the kids' behaviour to the teachable content to the teachers. And the couple certainly brought their A-game. 

"--And now you know everything Albert Einstein knew..." Ray told the room as he answered the door to the walking grape, grimacing when he noticed how she leaned on the doorframe again - apparently her seductive pose.

"Oh, hello! Whatever brings you to our modest and totally real school?" The hero asked politely as he smiled, knowing he risked a slap from his sweet girl if he dared to sneer at the woman. 

He was dressed to the nines, turning his business casual style from yesterday into an outfit fit for the gentry. Instead of his usual comfy, unbelievably hot t-shirt, he wore a proper button-down under his perfectly ironed blazer. He even tucked a regal silk cravat between the loosened collar, hating how warm it made his neck, but (y/n) said it was fetching. 

She didn't quite agree with his knee-high riding boots. His tan trousers were tucked into them, giving him an air of nobility, although she still preferred her silly doofus. 

"Cool your boots, fancy toots. And you, Little Miss Muffet, out of my way!" Sharona scoffed at their excellent manners, showing her lack thereof as she pushed her way into the building, rudely barging past (y/n) as she did. 

If it wasn't for her façade of politeness and gentility, (y/n) would've given her a couple of fives right up her hooter. But she relented, staying true to her mission as she brushed the invisible dust off her uniform and carried on calmly. 

She'd also swapped her casual jeans and t-shirt, wearing a tight but not too revealing pencil skirt, which matched her femininely cut jacket. And whilst she preferred sneakers for when she was lecturing, her simple, black heels made her legs look long and elegant, so, prettied up with the diamond earrings from their anniversary and her hair all pinned up, she looked like an actual headmistress. 

That, and Ray thought she looked hot. 

"It ain't real until I says it's real." The couple rolled their eyes as Ray closed the door, wondering when they sunk so low to take orders from Sharona Shapen, but they bit their tongues. It was just for one morning...

"Now, let's blast some school inspection music and get this done!" They couldn't argue with that, not if they wanted to receive a notice of closure, so they let the woman do what she wanted. 

As the music played an upbeat, hip-hop pop song, they began to show her what SWAG had to offer. Like sound, diligent students, the kids gathered around with exaggerated awe, listening intently as Mr and Mrs. Manchester talked through what the lessons were today - all while they sipped from their his and hers mugs. At least Ray looked calm, playing with his charm and devilish good looks to soften Sharona up, even if it made (y/n) break a pencil or two. 

First, they started with science, allowing them to introduce the inspector to Professor Schwoz - the part-time science teacher. He knew the plan to make it seem like the children were learning as he swirled a few potions and lotions to impress Sharona--and it worked, even if Bose tried to drink hydrochloric acid like it was lemonade. 

She didn't know what half those chemicals, powders, and doohickeys did, but it looked...learn-y, which she quickly noted on her report. 

Next, Ray took gym class - the only thing (y/n) could see him instructing successfully, other than hero stuff. Of course, they didn't have anything suitable to show a civilian, nothing that didn't include blasters and super-suits, so he opted for the big bouncy balls again, getting them to bounce around like it was good exercise. 

Well, it seemed enough to please Miss Shapen, who enjoyed seeing the children boinging on the lively things...but she liked seeing Headmaster Manchester in his gym clothes much more. 

Then, (y/n) took math class, expertly guiding the children through quadratic equations and the Pythagorean theorem as if it were child's play. Her plan was to baffle Sharona with numbers, spouting some mumbo-jumbo about Xs and parentheses as Mika, Miles, Chapa, and Bose nodded like they understood the scrawlings on the board. 

"The square of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle is equal to the sum of the square of the other two sides." She made it sound simple: quickly find C after jotting down a few numbers. 

It wasn't tough since she loved math. She breathed math. She'd die for math. But it was enough to impress the snooty, violet-wearing woman observing her lecture, who'd learned something or two while she noted everything down. 

Finally, the final lesson rolled around, and this was the big one. The grand finale. The class about the learning of things that had already happened. History. The adults went all out, giving each kid a period costume and a prop to carry as they reenacted the Battle of Swellview, marching past Sharona with their antique swords, scrolls and ginormous flag. 

They claimed the land - or stage - for their new city, gathering around with their dramatic poses and extravagant costumes as the inspector watched with tears in her eyes, full of pride for the founding story of her city. 

Ray couldn't help but feel smug, swirling the last trickle of coffee in his mug since his precious wife drank half of it, saying his had just enough sweetness for her liking - much more than hers. But he couldn't be mad, half-cocked and drooling as she watched her lecturing the class as if it was her destiny, swanning around in that pencil skirt like his teenage pin-up. 

His wife was hot, and everyone knew he turned into a lust-addled zombie when she talked numbers. So, when Sharona finally concluded her test, he was barely listening. 

"Well, that's it. You all failed!--" She announced, pausing the catchy song as the group stared at her in disbelief, baffled as to where they'd gone wrong. They thought it was perfect...

"What?! How?" (y/n) gasped, breaking her doofus out of his daydream about seeing that skirt on the floor as she squeezed his hand. Was this it? Was her ridiculous, itchy dress and mob cap all for nothing? She didn't want to lose the school, not so soon after opening it, and her heart was in her mouth until...Sharona smiled, pulling the biggest UNO reverse card ever. 

"--Failed to do anything wrong! You passed!" She declared, much to their immense relief and delight. 

The children and Schwoz cheered and high-fived each other as Ray and (y/n) embraced and shared a quick kiss, stopping short of swallowing each other's faces after a tense night of very little passion. He looked surprisingly in his sailor's hat and period-style shirt - Mr Darcy, who?

"Swellview Academy for the Gifted is an officially licensed school..." Miss Shapen told them as she passed Ray a freshly signed certificate, which decreed that the city recognised their right to educate its youngest and most impressionable students. It would look great on their wall, all framed and displayed for all to see and admire. 

"Nice!" Ray grinned as he eagerly showed it to his precious wife with a peck to her temple. He squeezed her tightly as she took it from his hands and squealed, believing their worries to be over...

"You'll get your two new students tomorrow." But, of course, nothing was ever simple. Their joy and merriments died after the moody woman added the baffling news, making them stare at her with deeply concerned frowns. Hoping they misheard her, they gasped, not liking what they heard because it sounded like she said new students, but surely not...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...Take that and rewind it back!"

"What new students?" (y/n) questioned furiously as she and Ray stepped away from the horrified children and faced her, but Sharona didn't bat an eyelash. She didn't care about their arguments or discomfort; she had a job, so it wasn't personal, even if she'd like to get a little personal with a certain someone...

"Oh, well, there's a shortage of available space at gifted schools. I got two kids who have been learnin' at a bus station for the last month," she explained, making the Danger Force team scowl, suddenly feeling grateful for the clean and proper facilities provided for them. 

But, as much as the sob story made (y/n)'s heart hurt, she refused to take on more students. She exchanged a worried look with her husband, who was on the same page as her, thinking their superhero duties would move to the back burner with two randomers snooping around the school and possibly the Man's Nest. Ray wouldn't have his sweet girl looking so nervous, boldly stepping toward Sharona again with a defiant frown. 

"I'm moving them here tomorrow."

"Well, what if we don't take them?" He asked, turning his nose up at the thought of more children running rampant in his home, rapidly becoming a goddamn daycare. 

"Well, then, I'm shuttin' ya down!" The woman replied haughtily with what was rapidly becoming her catchphrase. She pulled a small removed from her pocket, glaring at the rebellious couple as she pressed a button to summon...police officers?

They stormed in as a shrill siren sounded, entering the building with stern faces, alarmingly short shorts and sleeves shirts. And it wasn't even that hot outside. The chief, some tall, intimidating dude, stomped in with his beefy guns out, harsh gaze flickering from the puzzled kids, horrified couple, and to one very smug inspector. 

"You shuttin' this place down, Sharona?"

"I don't know... Are we?" She asked, coldly looking at Ray and (y/n) as they sighed, knowing their hands were tied. This was her way of flexing some muscle, scaring them into compliance, no matter how much they resented the thought of two bus shelter charity cases. As much as they wanted to shout, kick, and scream, neither wanted to get into a fight with the police, so with a defeated shrug from his sweet girl, Ray growled and deflated. 

"Fine--we'll take 'em!" He conceded, but he wasn't happy about it. However, Sharona appeared delighted, turning to her muscular enforcers with a mischievous smirk - (y/n) was just glad it wasn't aimed at her doofus. 

"Then, carry me out, buster!" She exclaimed before, in a bizarre, almost concerning feat, leaping across the room and into the chief's arms so he could carry her out bridal style. Her gangly frame looked unsteady in his embrace despite the man's apparent strength. But, unfortunately, the other policemen closed the door before the team could see if she fell flat on her face. What a shame...

"See you tomorrow!"

"We're screwed..." (y/n) noted once they were alone with nothing other than the revelation that SWAG was getting two new students in the morning. The certificate in her hand felt obsolete now, the joy draining from their bodies at the thought of babysitting two kids while fighting crime. 

The thought was impossible, making her give her doofus a worried glance as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. They needed a plan--and quick. 

~The Man's Nest~

After that sobering warning from Miss Shapen, the Danger Force team gathered upstairs to lick their wounds and formulate a plan - anything to save their secret operation. 

Each person was tasked with researching their own idea of how to get rid of these two new kids, thinking, tapping, or, in Bose's case, nibbling as they went. There had to be a way of getting rid of them, preferably without too much mess - looking at Chapa there - the only trouble was nailing it. 

Mika was particularly tenacious, on the ball as always, but what was new there? As she sat at the mini-supercomputer, the others listened intently, even though whatever she'd thought of wasn't what they'd had in mind - more like blood, murder, and pitchforks. 

"So, we find these kids' personal information, and then, we fill out an application to--"

"Boring!" Ray interrupted the poor girl as he sat on the back of the couch, looking far more fetching now that he and his sweet girl had changed out of their fancy clothes. His muscles in that bold-pattern shirt looked good enough to eat, but (y/n) frowned at his rudeness, knowing Mika was onto something. 

Of course, she was. She was the one who told her where to look and what to look for in the first place. 

"Raymond!" The heroine scolded him, and Ray stood up from where he'd been perched on the back of the couch. He gave her a slight pout but didn't apologise, believing he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, he merely kissed her forehead and brushed past, thinking he held the solution to all their problems - being the thinker he was. 

"Schwoz, go get the Memory-Wiper! The new kids show up, we erase their memories, badaboom bada--" he smirked, much to the kids' frustration. They'd been over this a million times, but no matter how much they explained it to him, the doofus wouldn't get it past his thick skull. Not even if (y/n) smushed his cheeks together and made him listen. 

"Do you ever listen?!" Mika shouted dramatically as Schwoz rubbed his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. 

"I told you ten times!" The genius told Ray, looking thoroughly exasperated since it was like trying to talk to a brick wall, especially when he took an interest in the new jeans (y/n) was wearing. 

"The Memory-Wiper got destroyed when you, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger fought Drex! It's not going to conveniently get us out of things anymore..."

"Nice try, doof..." (y/n) hummed, walking over to pat his chest and give her husband a quick smooch as he groaned. He really thought he was onto something, but they'd have to be more creative than that. Schwoz could make another Wiper, but that would take too long, and it was old tech anyway. He wasn't the type to look back - it distracts from the now. 

"I know how we can get rid of these kids..." Chapa remarked as she looked up from her tablets, and all her friends turned to stare at her, including the kissing couple. This would be interesting...

"We get a chainsaw, and a ceiling fan, and a--"

"Chapa, no! No violence, no blood, no murdering, and certainly, no chainsaws!" (y/n) told her sharply, pinching her eyes for the hundredth time because all of the girl's ideas had been like that. Dark, demonic, and highly illegal, decidedly not in line with Captain Man's heroic values. 

She scowled at that, slumping in her chair as the man crouched down to her eye level, wondering who he'd pissed off to deserve such a troublesome pupil. 

"What's your deal? Why are you so scary?" He asked, but that seemed to infuriate her more as she leaned closer to his face with bared teeth and blazing eyes. 

"A boy stole my cell phone!"

"So, buy another one!" Ray snapped, unphased by her thunderous voice because it was the same old rhetoric. 

He and his sweet girl had discussed this many times, but neither understood the kid's obsession with some crappy, outdated PearPhone, and it was getting old. Anyone else would've simply moved on, bitter but free from the burden of a grudge, but not Chapa. She took things much more seriously, like the theft was a black mark against her ancestors or something. 

"No! If you're best friend got stolen, would you just buy another one?" She asked furiously, and it wasn't the first time the Man's Nest had seen such an argument. She never backed down nor gave up, stubborn to a fault, but unfortunately, so was Ray, and he didn't shy away from a fight either. 

"Yes! I fell in love with my first best friend, so I hired a new one!" The man replied instantly, causing (y/n)'s ears to superheat since she wasn't expecting him to put it so bluntly. As she scratched the back of her head and giggled nervously - a clear sign to the kids that Ray was talking about her - the hero took a moment to spare himself the heartache. 

The reality of it all was hard to acknowledge out loud. 

"Then, he moved to Dystopia, so I bought four new ones!" He exclaimed, and honestly, that made them melt a little. Whilst they knew Kid Danger was special to Captain Man, always had been and always would be, it was nice to see that they filled the Henry-sized hole in his heart. Sort of. 

"Aww...love you, man," Bose cooed, reaching to bump fists with his mentor as he and (y/n) tried not to get mopey. The kids were good, but really, they didn't replace anyone...

"We'll get there," Ray let him down gently, briefly tapping his knuckles since he wouldn't call any of them his best friends. His wife would always be his first and greatest relationship, but he'd learned that with time, his love grew - not shared or halved, but it grew. Very slowly. 

"Anyway, doofus, I've been doing some research, and, according to The Big Book Of Swellview Laws, if these new kids agree to leave the school on their own--" (y/n) quickly moved on, tapping the spine of a heaven-sent, hazy hardback copy of the city's craziest laws. They still had work to do, but it was a start, and Ray couldn't help but beam at his wife's brilliance - she was so hot when she was being clever. 

"Then, Miss Shapen and her sleeveless goons can't shut us down! Nice work, sweet girl!" He chimed, blindly tossing the book over his shoulder when he plucked it from her hands, too eager to sweep her into a whirlwind of a kiss to care if it nearly hit Bose. Which it did--and Miles, who glared at the hero for almost killing him. 

Exactly! And no throwing things inside, Raymond. What have I told?" She nodded, slightly breathless from the passionate assault on her lips. Still, she remained firm, glimpsing at the boys apologetically as her guilty lover shuffled to retrieve the book like a good boy. 

"So, we just make life as miserable as possible for these new kids, and they agree to leave on their own," Chapa supposed, much to Ray's delight.

"Good plan, Chapa!" He nodded, clapping his hands together as (y/n) rolled her eyes. She'd basically come up with the plan; the girl merely read between the lines, but she let it go, too distracted by the large, warm hands that suddenly appeared on her waist. 

"And shockingly, not violent," Mika added, thinking her friend had refrained from her usual murderous ideas for a change, and it was lovely. She still didn't like the sound of torturing the new students on their first day, but where Chapa was concerned, it wasn't half bad. 

"...You didn't let me finish." Or not. The Latina rose from her chair with a cunning smirk, picturing scenes of horror and gore that would drive out any pathetic and unwelcome children from their school. 

"We find out who they love the most, and then, in the middle of the night, we--"

"Oh, come on!"

"Chapa, please!"

"You were doing so good!" Her friends groaned, not wanting to know what horror-film outing she'd planned since they knew it would lead to no good. As they cursed her for being abnormal, Chapa shrugged, wondering what all the fuss and nonsense was about--just because she saw things a little...differently. Blood-soaked with curdling screams of pain and anguish. 

In her mind, it worked - removing the problem perhaps a little messily, but so what? You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, and if these new kids had to be the eggs?... Well, so be it. 

~The next day~

Bright early, everyone arrived in SWAG the next day, ready to give the new students hell. 

Perhaps it was a little unfair - it wasn't their fault that Sharona Shapen chose the only secret superhero school in the city to be theirs, but that didn't matter. Ray wanted them gone, and what he said went. Some of the plans were ridiculous, especially the giant high-striker Schwoz had installed at the front of the classroom. No one had any idea what the boss wanted to do with it. 

It was big, brash, and blue--kinda like Ray in that sense, and he chuckled to himself as he strapped his handyman into the device's little chair. His feet were already aching in his stiff riding boots, feeling like he had two lumps of cement on his feet, but it would be worth the pain of tricking the new brats into leaving. 

And he'd never complain about seeing his sweet girl in that pencil skirt, his eyes constantly glued to her ankles like an enchanted Victorian gentleman. (y/n) was a little flustered and jittery, pacing the room while biting her fingernails. Still, she powered through, turning a blind eye to every misdeed her friends committed - all for the greater good, apparently. Although, she swore there had to be a simpler way...

"Doofus, what are you doing? (y/n) asked her lover as he fiddled with the belt buckle on Schwoz's chair, and from where she was standing, it sounded like he was torturing the guy. He groaned and moaned, lolling his head from side to side, quietened only by Ray's occasional sharp warning. 

"You'll see, darlin'. All in good time..." Ray grinned, hoping she'd see his intelligence genius in the same way. But then, he glanced at his watch and paled at the time, knowing that the devil and her sproglets would soon be upon them--and he'd hardly created a classroom of chaos yet. 

"Hurry up! They're coming!" He shouted to the children, who'd been sent off on various tasks to try and find things to make their guests feel extra welcome. He didn't care what it was as long as it made them utterly miserable, although Schwoz didn't make it easy when he slapped his fingers for messing with his buckle. It was like he didn't want to help, no matter the cost...

"Ray, (y/n)! I found this broken chair in the basement!" Bose announced as he dashed into the room, wheeling an antique wicker wheelchair in front of him. 

It looked like it was at least a hundred years old, making (y/n) turn her nose up at the musty smell, and she assumed that it was something the previous owners must've left. She'd never keep something decrepit, and Ray wouldn't be seen dead in a wheelchair. Ever. 

And that wasn't all; in the chair's lap, he'd turned a rickety old stool upside to carry that too, and on closer inspection, it looked worse than the chair. Full of woodworm and rusty nails, the heroine was sure she'd need a tetanus shot if she sat on it - and that was coming from someone with super-regeneration. 

"Love it! Explain..." Ray nodded appreciatively, staring at the antiques with much more love than his wife could muster as they huddled together to hear Bose's plan. 

"We'll make one of the new kids sit in this rusty, busted-up thing, and we'll make the other sit on this termite stool," the boy smirked, knowing that his plan would cause pure despair for the students, even if it was a little mean. 

"What's a termite stool?" Mika asked from her desk, where she'd been feverishly researching something (y/n/n) told her to look into. She'd told her to work smarter, not harder, but when she heard something so stupid, she couldn't help but be distracted. 

"Stool full'a termites! Give it a sit!"

"No..." she quickly declined, returning to her work as Bose shrugged. He didn't care when the torture device was meant for someone else. Still, Mika didn't like the idea of using little insects to bite the unsuspecting kids, which was why she'd been working on something much kinder--and more straightforward, quicker, cheaper. Nothing could go wrong. 

"So, I was thinking--"

"Not finished!" But the long-haired boy had other ideas. Surprisingly, for one so dense, he'd been exceptionally proactive, coming up with not one but two mischievous ideas, even if the latter wasn't as strong as the other. 

"When the new kids get here, I'm also gonna use my powers to make stuff float. And I'm gonna use my throat to make ghost noises like, souuuuuuup!'"

"Soup?" (y/n) frowned, wondering why he thought a ghost would say that. Maybe it sounded a little spooky, but she couldn't take him seriously, not when she could sense Ray's jerking shoulders next to her. He thought it was funny, muffling his chuckles against her cheek when he hid his face from the boy. 

"Ghosts love soup. They tell me all the time."

"That's not concerning at all..." the woman mumbled to her husband, who could honestly say his eyebrows were through the roof. As if they didn't think Bose was bizarre enough, but now he was a medium, too. Fabulous. Either that, or he was hearing voices, and everyone knows what happens to people who listen to the voices in their heads...

"Good enough... Hey, where's Scary Bradshaw?" Ray asked, quickly moving on before they had to have the kid sectioned. And speaking of disturbing children, he'd noticed a dip in the negativity in the room, and that's when it hit him. Chapa hadn't said one rude, mean, or borderline psychotic thing in at least ten minutes - how long she'd been out of the room. 

"Chapa is hiding in the closet with a chainsaw. When we give her the cue, she's gonna jump out and scare the new kids!" Bose explained, having passed the girl after finding his chairs. It was like something out of a horror film with her sitting in there, waiting to pounce on whichever sucker walked in, despite being warned not to meddle with dangerous stuff. 

"Hey, I thought I said no more chains--"

"Hey, sweet girl, it's okay. Like it, love it, I want more of it!" Ray grinned, dismissing his wife's concerns since he saw no harm. Chapa was a competent and resourceful girl, and he'd seen a lot of thrillers - chainsaws got terrified kids running like nothing else. 

"What you got?"

"I plan on living with an open heart and a strong mind. And I'll remain like that until the solution presents itself," Miles replied when the teachers turned to him, still sitting on his holier-than-thou high horse since he was about his karma and all that mystic bullshit. The hero's proud smile quickly fell, unable to believe what he heard; would the kid ever do some work?

"Who made you this way?" the man asked tiredly, regretting all his choices at that moment. Open a school, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Train four kids at once, they said...

"The system!" Miles hissed, ready to go on a marching warpath since no one ever took his concerns seriously, being the warrior of social justice that he was. 

"I miss Henry--I miss Henry--I miss Henry..."

"It's okay, doof. Just...think nice thoughts. Go to your happy place!" (y/n) soothed her husband as he ran a frustrated hand through his floppy hair, longing for the days when he only had one sidekick - a funny, intelligent, obedient, capable boy who idolised him. And he was never like this. 

She sympathised with him; whilst she wasn't Miss Danger initially, she knew Henry took to the hero's life much more quickly than Danger Force ever did. They'd worked together for so long that everything felt natural and easy. Ray struggled to remember the early days when Henry spilt his secrets, disobeyed a few rules, and used his sidekick status for his games. 

"My happy place..." Ray hummed, smiling softly when he took a minute to tilt his head back and close his eyes, instantly knowing where he wanted to go. An island in the Polynesian Pacific, no kids, no cellphones, no villains turning the place to shit, just him and a very sweet girl strolling the ocean's side - maybe a few kids running in front of them. 

That made him happy--enough to calm his temper for the next kid.

"Mika!" he called out, looking at the girl, who'd barely said a word all morning. She'd just tap-tapped away on her PearPad, ignoring the world around her for whatever was so momentous on the screen.

"Okay, don't be mad, but--"

"Yeah, but see, that always makes me mad..." Ray replied anxiously, wondering if she'd done anything to help and none of that so-called scheming she liked to do. He wanted action, not a namby-pamby cleverness because no one liked a know-it-all except when his darling wife was all hot and smart. 

"Let's just hear what she has to say, Raymond. Go on, Mika..." (y/n) told him gently, tangling her fingers with his as the girl nodded at her reassuring smile, glad someone could control the man-child. 

"Well, actually, it's one of your ideas, but once I've learned these kids' names, I'm gonna enter their personal information into--" she tried to explain after digging and finding that the woman's suspicion was correct. She could get the kids to leave without leaving her seat, doing more damage on her tablet than Ray could do with a million blasters in the field, but he didn't see it that way. 

"A supercomputer that will eat them?!" He proposed, making his precious wife sigh and smack her forehead. Why did he have to be so impatient?

"No!"

"Then, I don't care. Next!" The hero told her rudely, earning himself a whack on the arm from (y/n), who frowned at how he dismissed poor Mika so swiftly. She barely got a chance to explain, but the girl wouldn't be defeated when she had Miss Danger on her side - thank God that man married someone with a brain cell. 

"Just keep doing that, Mika, 'Kay?" She told the kid quietly as Ray rubbed the rapidly fading sore spot on his bicep, whining over annoying his sweet girl. He didn't want to upset her, longing for a bit of intimacy since it felt like forever since he'd had her all to himself. Still, he couldn't think like that, not even when she strolled around in that goddamn skirt. 

"What are you gonna do, doof?"

"Well, I'm glad you finally asked, sweet girl..." he grinned, eager to please and impress as he gestured to the high-striker ensnaring Schwoz. Although she'd already asked about it and watched him fiddle with the gizmo, she still listened intently, feeling like she was watching a little boy on Christmas morning as he showed off his weird toy. 

"It's a test of strength. Just like any other test of strength you'd see at a normal school," Ray presented to the class, earning a few confused stares since that wasn't exactly true. 

Still, (y/n) wouldn't stand for mockery of her beloved doofus, aware that he barely remembered school after finishing the third grade. That was the price of being the world's greatest superhero, making her smile sadly as he obliviously twirled the giant hammer in his strong hands. She'd do anything to keep him so playful and childish...

"You use this hammer to make Schwoz go all the way up there to ring that bell!"

"Hello..." the small man awkwardly waved at the kids, looking confused, irritated, and tired. He was just doing as he was told, despite not knowing entirely what he'd signed up for when Ray said all the way to the top. That sounded...painful. 

"How is this gonna make the new kids want to leave?" Mika questioned, interrupting the happy couple as (y/n) curled an arm around her lover's neck to gently kiss his lips. She couldn't help it if she found him utterly adorable above all his flaws, and those lips were too soft and delicious to ignore when they called to her like that...

"Ha-ha! You'll see!" Ray giggled, pulling away to rest his chin on his wife's head, looking a little too excited for a guy who'd merely installed a high-striker. 

"Please tell me nothing bad will happen," (y/n) begged him, hating the idea of cleaning up another implosion, spillage, or riot. She didn't like it when he tried to be mysterious; often, it was better for him to run things by her first - less chance of death, fire, murder, rampaging, pillaging, or plundering that way. 

"Just wait and see, pretty girl..." But the hero would reveal nothing, leaning down to find her honeyed lips again and smother her pout. While he couldn't promise something entirely harmless and clean, it would still be fun, hopefully enough to drive the new kids away. 

But the moment didn't last. Before he could hold her face to his, keeping the sweetness' source still for him to drink from, the school's security system kicked in. It was an absolute cockblock, ruining his fun before he could do anything else, so poor Ray had to settle for a mere peck. He was getting more and more frustrated every minute...

"Stranger approaching."

"Okay, that's them," he told the kids, ignoring their scrunched-up expressions as he licked the saccharine remnants from his lips and separated from his beloved wife. It was showtime. 

"Now, remember! Whatever happens, we gotta be really mean to these new kids!"

"I don't know, doofus. I'm not very good at the whole mean thing. It makes me feel...mean," (y/n) said quietly, loosely rolling her shoulders as she followed her husband to the door, knowing Sharona Shapen and her bus station brats were behind it. It wasn't in her nature to be spiteful or a bully - God knows she knew what it was like to be on the receiving end, but Ray just gave her a reassuring smile and placed his hand on her shoulder. 

"S'okay, darlin'. I don't want you to lose any of that sweetness, so try your best, okay?" He advised her gently, squeezing her tense flesh with the other hand resting on the doorknob as she nodded weakly. Miles and Bose giggled at how he could switch so effortlessly, going from Mr. Grumpy Pants one second to a lovable teddy bear the next--and all over a girl. 

With one final check of their suit and the outlay of the room, the headmaster opened his doors, a tight yet beaming smile on his face. Instantly, he was greeted with Sharona's ugly, unimpressed mug, something he never wanted to see in the morning, but there were two kids in front of her two. And strangely...they didn't look like monsters. Or brats. Or like they'd be any trouble at all. 

Admittedly, they were filthy, covered in dirt after studying rough for the last month, but if they looked past the stink, they were lovely. The boy, slightly smaller than the other and wearing an old, battered jacket and flat cap, gasped when he saw the room, lopping his arm with the girl's as she, too, seemed in awe at their new school. 

She kept her unwashed hair out of her face with a white handkerchief, looking like a child from a Dickens novel in her ill-fitting green dress and moth-eaten brown jumper. Her boots needed resoling, and her mother - if she had one - needed to give her a good bath since her face was stained with dirt. Yet, despite their abysmal, pitiable condition, they seemed happy, perfectly polite, and grateful to a fault. 

*I'd like to state for the record that English people don't speak like this. we don't live in Oliver Twist, okay?*

"Why, Percy! It's our new school! I'm sure we will love it so!" The girl remarked with tears in her eyes, speaking in a flawlessly clear English accent. And not like she was some Cockney peasant, but like she was one of the landed gentry - eloquent and refined in every syllable. 

"Oh, we shall, Miriam!" The boy, Percy, agreed, giving her a cheeky smile as they admired the sparkling facilities--a remarkable improvement on their old classroom. 

"We shall finally be happy here in our new school!"

"And it smells ever so much better than the bus station!" Miriam remarked as Ray and (y/n) stared at them, wondering where the brats were supposed to be because these were angles. Perfect, little British angels with their excellent manners and elegance. 

"That's because there's a bathroom here, sweetie," Miss Shapen told them, tearing delighted gasps from the children since they weren't used to such luxuries. Life hadn't been kind to them, not that anyone would guess, given their mildly irritating optimism. 

"Anyway, I gotta go. It's Hump Day, so there's free sushi at the gas station, and there's nothing like eating sushi in head to toe--Bucci!" Miss Shapen laughed at her little joke - the only person in the room to do so. She was a strange, strange woman, and luckily made her goodbyes quickly, leaving Ray and (y/n) with their new 'lil English crumpets. 

"Deuces!"

"Uh, hello, we're your new teachers. I'm (y/n), and this is my husband, Ray--" The heroine turned to the keen children with a watery smile, slightly discomforted by their unexpected politeness. She and her doofus were so used to the abrasiveness of Chapa's tongue or Miles' sassy remarks that to be respected was weird. And the Brits didn't stop there. 

"But you can't be our instructors! You're far too young and handsome!" Percy said warmly, looking at a blushing Ray as the man buttoned his lip and smirked at the compliment. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't hate anyone who stroked his ego, making him awkwardly look at (y/n) as she giggled awkwardly. 

"And this fine young lady is your spouse? Good heavens, you are the luckiest man in the world, good sir!" His attention turned to her, eyes twinkling with good intentions from under that flat cap, and the woman couldn't help but clench Ray's arm. 

His head was in danger of exploding, growing bigger with every praise because hell yeah, he knew he'd married the best girl in the world, and knowing that he had the honour of being her husband made him preen like a peacock. Even if they were annoyingly kind and courteous, they were nothing like he'd expected - twice as nice as the brats he had to teach. 

"And your generous spirits are as clear as the kindness in your eyes..." Miriam sighed, getting a little too kiss-assy, but she meant well. Perhaps a little too well, and given their unrelenting goodwill, (y/n) knew she'd never find it in herself to be mean. 

"Oh, uh...thank you! Would you please excuse us for one minute?" She said with a breathy laugh, dragging her doofus by the arm toward the kids and the door. The newcomers didn't mind, talking with pleasant smiles as they ushered Mika, Miles, and Bose into the closet, leaving Schwoz alone since they knew they needed an urgent change of plans. 

However, once they were inside, it was like a scene from Saw - providing some haunting noises for the children waiting patiently outside. Ray, his sweet girl, and the kids screamed in terror as a masked figure jumped out at them, ripping a chainsaw to life as it threatened to chop them to pieces. 

The hero instantly shielded his wife, fists clenched and ready to pummel the mystery slasher for trying to hurt her, but on closer inspection, they were a little short for a bloodthirsty killer. It was Chapa - of course, it was - who'd been waiting for the opportune moment to frighten the shit out of the new students, should they walk in. Only, she ended up giving (y/n) a heart attack and all her friends nightmares. 

"Sorry, I thought you were those gunchy new kids," she apologised, removing her faceless mask and putting the chainsaw down before she could slice anyone. Ray's arms loosened around (y/n)'s body, who dared to peek out from his chest when she realised the end hadn't come, although it was still nice to snuggle against his toned torso. 

"Turns out they're not gunchy at all! They're sweet as--my sweet girl!" Ray exclaimed, petting his wife's precious head as she smiled, shy from the compliment. She'd never claim to be as charming as those hard-done English kids, but she knew he'd argue otherwise, so she stayed silent. 

"I don't know if I can soup ghost them!" Bose pouted, knowing he'd been given a job, but like (y/n), being a bully wasn't in his nature. He was just unassuming, nice-guy Bose. 

"Their last school didn't have a bathroom..."

"If you could even call it a school. I don't think they've had comfortable lives at all," (y/n) noted as Miles frowned, a million questions racing through his mind about how bad their old school must've been. It only made them feel sorry for Miriam and Percy, and indeed, if anyone didn't deserve such terror, it was those sweet peas. 

"They've been through so much. Plus, Percy winked at me, and it melted my heart!" Mika sighed softly, and Ray nodded. He knew how that felt, utterly bewitched by the children and their kind hearts, which was saying something since he wasn't overly fond of children and their tendency to sublet in his home. 

"And Miriam complimented me and my sweet girl!"

"Seriously, I mean...no bathroom! Where have they been goin'?!" Miles pondered, eyebrows trenched in deep thought, although he didn't want to think about the alternatives to having no toilet. He couldn't imagine the squalid conditions they were forced to learn in, and suddenly, he and the others felt a little more grateful for their pristine classroom and facilities, nodding appreciatively. Well, save for Chapa...

"Hey!" She hissed, trying to get them to remember their objective. 

"I mean, I am very young-looking, and my wife is incredibly hot, so the compliments make sense, but--"

"HEY!" She snapped again, but this time, she chose violence. What was new? (y/n) cringed and shrank away in fear as the girl slapped her teacher brutally hard, silencing his pathetic, conceited ramblings about Miriam's apparent compliments. Ray's face was a picture of agony, all scrunched up and red as he clutched his battered face, glad he was indestructible since the kid had a lot of rage in that striped shirt of hers. 

And she didn't stop there. Chapa backhanded him several times, slapping the hero silly to ensure he was listening. She knew what he was like when he started thinking about his pretty little wife and how he'd never stop daydreaming if someone didn't intervene. His skin stung from the vicious assault, dazing Ray until he gathered his thoughts enough to push her away, wondering what he did to deserve such punishment. 

"Ow! Stop slapping me! I'm listening!" He whined, scurrying away into the safety of his wife's arms, where (y/n) cooed and soothingly ran the back of her fingers down his warm flesh. A kiss on the cheek and the pain fleeted, leaving his face rosy and flushed for another reason. 

"We are crime fighters! We can't have a couple a' bus station biscuits sniffin' around here, or we can't respond to emergency calls!" Chapa told everyone sharply, her glare so fierce that even the couple shrank under it, pausing their affection - for now. 

"That's true, I guess..." (y/n) shrugged, knowing she was right. Percy and Miriam were lovely, but it would be difficult to explain why they all had to head out so abruptly and often; it would undoubtedly lead to exposure, something they couldn't risk. 

"I don't care how many fake compliments they give us," the fiery girl continued, eying the man beside her, who gasped and clutched at his breastbone at such an insinuation - he didn't care what anyone said; his wife was hot. 

"How dare you..."

"Or how many fake winks we get!" She hissed, looking at Mika this time, who whimpered at the thought of her wink, eying for show. She knew Percy wasn't like that--that Chapa was just being her usual, callous self, but deep down, she couldn't argue. 

"They were real!"

"She's so mean..." Ray grumbled, forgetting who he was talking about and that she was beside him. Chapa raised her hand at him aggressively, threatening him with another round of happy slaps before (y/n) intervened, flashing everyone her cheery, disarming smile. Maybe what the English kids said about her was true, but all that other stuff...

"Hey, don't you hit my doofus," she warned the girl, prodding her pal until Chapa relented. She'd let the guy off the hook...for now, allowing (y/n) to continue as her husband patted her hip in thanks. 

"Okay, so Mika and I have a non-violent plan that only includes a little paperwork. Easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon, so--"

"AYYYYE!" A strange voice came from above, interrupting the woman as she shrieked and ducked out of the way. She sought shelter in Ray's embrace, gasping as a figure hit the floor and stared at them all with big, round eyes, whitish skin, an alien-like head--oh, it was just Schwoz.

The stupid little coconut-head was hiding in the rafters like a goddamn bat, listening to the conversation since he had some critical news--although he couldn't just use the door like ordinary people. As they all recovered from their mini-heart attacks, he shook off the landing, surprisingly agile for a cooped-up nerd. 

"We've already missed three emergency calls since those kids got here!" The genius announced, skipping the pleasantries and baffled questions as to where he'd dropped from. The bleak news pulled groans from everyone, knowing that once the emergencies piled up, it was almost impossible to fix them without some serious work. 

"See? Swellview needs us! So, get out there, be mean to those new kids, and send them back to the bus station! Who's with me?" Chapa growled, having little sympathy for the brats when they'd already caused so much trouble. And her friends agreed, feeling terrible for what they had to do, but it was necessary. 

Yet no one, except for Schwoz, put their hand up, anxious to do wrong to do right, so the girl got a little creative. One warning of her palm in the air, and they jumped to it, agreeing keenly since no one wanted a beating like Ray's, seeing how it seared his skin and sprung tears in his eyes. 

"Did they use a bucket?" Miles murmured, still hung up on the bus station toilet debacle. Still, his sister pulled him out of the room before anyone could answer. 

Miriam and Percy were beginning to get lonely and confused, wondering where everyone went, so they filed out, leaving the happy couple with Chapa as Ray glared at her. His face still ached, tender and scarlet from her angry fists. For someone who was used to being the boss, she didn't relish his authority very much, but they'd soon see about that--

"Hey, listen. I let those slaps go last time, but next time--Ahhh!" The hero tried to confront her, but she was having none of it. Before he could give her the scolding she deserved, her wrist flicked out again, striking his cheek painfully and drying up his words. 

"Chapa!" (y/n) warned sharply as her lover gritted his teeth and tried not to show weakness. If only she was that good with criminals, he'd be out of a job...

However, she didn't seem apologetic or remorseful, wearing her typical glare, even as her favoured teacher gave her a stern look. Whilst she respected Miss Danger more than Captain Man, she still hated being dictated to, and Chapa turned on her heel before they could have a chance to punish her. What were they gonna do? Send her back to regular school where her powers could be exposed? Yeah, right...

"I'll see you guys out there..." And with that, she stomped away, taking her mask and chainsaw with her and leaving the spouses alone. She was ready to wreak havoc, slipping back into the classroom without much fuss, and even though time was of the essence, the couple couldn't help but relish the brief glimpse of peace. 

*Spicy from here. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*

Realising they were alone - or as alone they could be in a school full of rioting children - they fell together, (y/n)'s hand on his cheek to soothe Chapa's assault. The kids were merely behind the brick wall, chattering away amongst themselves as the hero gripped his wife's waist and pulled her close, feeling like melting into her embrace and saying to hell with the world. 

He nosed her hair, sighing deeply as she stroked his warm skin, tittering how she could sense the sting underneath her palm. But honestly, Ray could barely feel it, leaving the mild injury to his indestructibility to deal with since he had everything he needed in his arms, drained from the last few days of constant disarray and relentless voices clamouring for their attention. 

Although they hadn't been teaching very long - three weeks max - the couple quickly learned the price of solitude, learning that the essence of silence was golden. 

No screams, no arguments, no insults or snappy comebacks. Just holding each other and appreciating the stillness - a moment of grounding for the both of them. 

"This is nice..." Ray muttered, pressing his lips to her neck as she exhaled - a long, heavy breath carrying the world's weight. He knew she was stressed, seeing how her shoulders slumped and her head fell forward, knocking his shoulder as he curled his arms around her delicate figure. Like a leaf shaking in the wind. 

"We're hugging in a broom cupboard with a class full of children who want to kill each other," (y/n) replied dryly, voice muffled in his jacket's lapel. Still, despite her monotone response, she didn't let go, clutching at his body and nuzzling into his chest, secretly loving how he'd dabbed a little cologne on his cravat before haphazardly tying and stuffing it down his shirt. 

She couldn't help but feel sarcastic and snappy, tired from days of constant pressure and problems. Her clothes were too stuffy and restrictive, her toes longing to wriggle free from her heels, but they had to soldier on to save the school. A miserable, lamentable thought. 

"You want me to stop?" Ray hummed, but he didn't let go. Never. He knew her answer, stroking her hair as she whined and snuggled closer. 

"No..." she sounded pathetic, arms loosely curled around his torso as he chuckled. 

"I can hear you worrying..." the man whispered, beginning to sway slightly when a deafening shriek vibrated through the brickwork. It sounded girlish and shrill - possibly Mika or Miriam - and was almost certainly the work of Chapa and her creepy Halloween mask. 

They ignored it, pretending there was cotton wool in their ears whilst the bedlam reigned next door, anything for a second longer to themselves. Ray's lips found her cheek and temple, lips chirping like songbirds as he smooched against her skin, the ticklish sensation making (y/n)'s nose wrinkle and mouth twitch upwards. 

"I wouldn't say it's worrying...more stewing."

"So, Bose is obsessed with soup, and you like stew?" He was a doofus, making his wife roll her eyes and limply thwack his shoulder. Yet a smile was growing on her face because it was such a Ray thing to say. It was stupid, and his voice held that forever confused lilt like everything was a puzzle to him, but it was cute and endearing. She pulled her head up to look at him like he was adorable, not stupid.

"No, silly doofus..." (y/n) giggled, pecking his lips briefly when he smiled proudly, simply because he made her happy. 

"I'm just...we've barely spent any time together this week."

"Sure, we have. We're together all the time." Ray frowned, knowing he'd be fuming if he'd been denied his sweet girl all week. They'd eaten together, slept next to each other, woken up to each other, shared breakfast, co-taught classes, sorted through the bills--just done the usual married couple stuff. 

It was tedious and stressful, balancing work and home life in one building, but they were okay - together like always. 

"With children around us. Screaming. Fighting. Telling us we're wrong while they know everything." (y/n), however, begged to differ. She wasn't stupid, but perhaps just a little paranoid. 

This was the road to a loveless marriage, all work and no play, which terrified her. Her fingers squeezed his shoulders, deeply worried at the thought of drifting apart, and it had only been a handful of days of little affection. Of course, the kids meant well, but they were the anti-romantics. They had to find secret clinches in cupboards when the Man Cave was their territory--their place to rendezvous. 

"I just want one evening where it's me and you, no interruptions, just...us stuff."

"Okay, then, how about we watch a movie tonight? Rom-com? You pick?" Ray suggested softly, hands sliding down to grip her waist, thumbs rubbing above her hipbones. She laughed breathily, glancing at her feet before finding those blue eyes again, spinning a lock of his hair around her finger - she was hunting. 

"I was thinking something else..." she countered, sounding sultry and soft like butter.

"Okay, how about I run you a bubble bath? I'll use the fancy soap..." The hero countered, the invitation flying over his head and into the wall, making his wife's eyebrows twitch. Pursing her lips, she tried again, eager to have him to herself, although she didn't usually have to work for it. 

"Maybe something we could do together?" She proposed, tongue darting out to moisten her lips, tummy fluttering when his eyes watched the motion. 

The pinkish glimpse of her inner bottom lip teased him as she whined and draped her arms around his neck, chest pressed against his so he could feel her lace undergarment poking through. 

"How about Twister? We haven't played it since Henry fell on top of Charlotte, and they almost--" But, for one so smooth when in action, Ray was dense--like the plank of wood they carved his brain out of. 

(y/n) groaned at his innocent stare, desperately wishing she'd see two blackened eyes hungrily gazing back. She knew why she felt so run down now, flipping through the calendar in her brain to mark the last time she got dicked down. It had been days ago, practically a lifetime, for someone with an incubus at her fingertips, and it frustrated her. 

Just an hour was all it would take, but that was few and far between when her husband thought more of bubble baths and board games than a night between the sheets. He withered at her displeasure, wondering where he went wrong, but (y/n) supposed she'd have to spell it out for him. 

"Sex, Raymond. I want to have sex!" She exclaimed, holding his pink cheeks and boring into his eyes as his lips parted in surprise. Typically, he was the forward one, plodding in like an elephant when he craved her pleasure. But this made him think, cogs ticking for a moment before he raised an eyebrow--as confused and doofy as always. 

"...With me?"

"No, I was thinking with some other floppy-haired doofus who wears cute t-shirts," his sweet girl retorted dryly, rolling her eyes because that was the first thing he said. Rizzmaster Ray was back, the smoothest operator in Swellview. 

"Of course, I meant you."

"Oh!... You think I'm cute?" He grinned cheekily, practically buzzing with enamouring, boyish charm as he basked in her love. It made him feel special, every moment like the first when he realised that she wanted to do grown-up things...with him! He still got butterflies, and they blocked out the arguing in the next room as they giggled. 

"I think you're adorable, but that's beside the point," (y/n) noted, casting her mind back to when he had her in their bed, waking her up the right way. "Y'know, we were a little rushed the other day..."

"Don't even get me started..." Ray groaned, closing his eyes and seeing her gorgeous body painted on his eyelids. Her thighs muffling his world, eyes closed, mouth open, her body in the morning light - he'd never been more thankful for windows, wondering what he'd missed in their old home's artificial glare. 

"And you didn't even get a chance to fuck me...You know I was walking funny for an hour after. Made me cum so hard, Captain..." Her mouth was hot against his ear, dipping low - barely above a whisper - and gentle as her fingers ran down his throat and chest, igniting fire where they touched. It was like a secret between them, navels pushed together as he inhaled sharply, one hand resting on her ass warningly. 

"Tell me why I shouldn't get you on your knees right now..." he growled, kneading whatever flesh he could reach as her lips ghosted his, barely brushing together. He didn't care if time was precious; so was she, and she could handle the problem she caused. 

"You could..." the woman hummed, fingertips dangerously dancing down the line of buttons on his shirt, passing his belly button. 

"Think you deserve a little attention. I could just drop right now and suck you off. Wrap my lips around your cock until you're cumming down my throat--wouldn't take long. Know why?"

"Fuck---why?" Ray asked thickly, choking when she cupped him through his suit pants, grinning like a vixen when she felt his turgid length. She wasn't the only one feeling a little...pent-up after missing her body the past few days. 

"'Cause you haven't taken your eyes off my ass in this skirt once. Don't think I haven't seen you drooling over it..." she teased, gently stroking against his length, smirking when he grew beneath her touch until he strained against the stiff, navy material. 

"Makes me so fucking hard..." He didn't need to confess; she knew it--saw it in the way he tilted his head back and spoke in feeble groans, swallowing with a dry mouth as she ran kisses down his neck. They stumbled around the room, bumping into the old chalkboard until a suspicious, ass-shaped smudge ran across it, not that they cared. 

Ray was desperate to find a surface--any surface where he could bend her over and take his fill. Pots clattered on the floor as they jostled, more taken with wandering hands and rough kisses than watching where they were going. Yet he couldn't find purchase and settled for holding her figure against his, debating if the floor would be any good as she squeezed his outline. 

"Wanna suck your cock so bad, doofus." She purred, throaty and wet, as he gasped, sweat dappling on his brow from the desperation. Three days was too long when he was so used to having her daily. 

"Get on your knees, then."

"Of course, Captain--tonight," (y/n) promised, smirking wickedly as she wrenched her hands away and stepped back, fighting the urge to do as he said. Submitting would be too easy, and she still hadn't forgotten how he'd left her legless and delirious that morning, boasting about his new record. 

This was his just reward, standing there with an obvious tenting in his riding trousers, even though it felt like punishment for her, too. An ache settled between her thighs, calling for her husband to do his husbandly duties. Still, she refrained, glancing at her elegant watch and baulking at the time. Goodness! The children! The scandal!

"What?--Sweet girl, w-what? Come back!" Ray yelped, feeling like he could collapse. His eyes almost fell out of his head when the electricity between them vanished - burning passion turning frigid as she backed off. 

He stared after her, lightheaded and dazed as his cock throbbed, but she made no move to seduce him any further. He hoped, begged, and prayed that she was stripping that blouse and skirt off, but she merely straightened the wrinkled suit, smoothing the arms and patting down her ruffled hair before turning on her heel. And it was like a punch to the butterflies in his gut. 

It was like nothing had happened at all, his wife looking like the respectable lady she always was as she glanced at the door to the classroom. Her eyes settled on his rapidly rising and falling chest before drifting to the apex of his thighs, and he swore she licked her lips, but it must've been a mind trick. After all, he stood in shambles as she grinned wickedly, proud of the mess she'd made. 

"We have a class to teach, Raymond. The children are expecting us, so I'll see you out there," (y/n) told him curtly as she rested a hand on the doorknob, knowing he'd need a second to sort himself out. Perhaps it was a little evil, and her lusting heart cursed her for ruining its fun before it started, but she promised it would be worth it. 

Tonight, when they fell into bed with all their worries over, he'd pin her down and... That would be worth the wait. 

"Wha--hey! (y/n)! Fuck!" Although she could've told him that. Ray cursed and nearly tripped over his feet as he watched his wife slink out of the room, surrounding herself with children to ensure he couldn't hunt her down and bend her over a desk. 

It was the world's best defence, yet he found himself defenceless, knowing it would look suspicious if she began teaching without him. He had a few minutes at most, staring longingly at the door she disappeared through and feeling her lips on his again. 

Tonight can't come soon enough, Ray thought, sliding down the wall with a hand pressed against his forehead. He wouldn't find release now; even though he wanted to, he'd wait for the opportune moment, turning his thoughts elsewhere, banishing those of his precious wife next door, flaunting herself in that skirt. 

That goddamn skirt. 

Out in the classroom, the kids bickered amongst themselves but were thankfully sat at their desks as (y/n) sauntered in. 

There was a cocky swing to her hips, a spring in her step, and a bright smile as she faced her pupils, although four were slightly confused at Ray's disappearance. Percy and Miriam sat on the rickety, old health hazards Bose had found, the boy in the wheelchair and the girl on the termite stool. They looked uncomfortable but didn't show it, beaming back pleasantly, eager to learn as the heroine thought about what they could do. 

The plan was to make them want to leave - the thought alone was enough to make her tummy feel queasy - and whilst (y/n) didn't like the idea of being mean, she didn't let it show, except for rubbing her sweaty palms. 

"Where's Ray?" Mika asked, blinking innocently as her teacher paused beside her desk, pursing her lips and thinking rapidly. She froze, stuttering as Danger Force looked at her strangely - some more clued in than others. 

"Um...he's tying his shoelaces," the woman replied dumbly, but it was all she could think of on her feet. The newcomers seemed to buy it, bobbing and nodding gently as they tried to get comfy on their chairs. Chapa didn't believe it, still looking creepy in her Halloween mask. 

"He was wearing boots..." she remarked dryly, and her friends followed suit. As confident as that skirt suit made her, she was acting weird. Miles craned his head around her body to try and peek into the cupboard, wondering where the hero had disappeared. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, jumping into his view before he could spot anything, chuckling nervously as she looked for a distraction. 

"Boots can have laces..." she said anxiously before spotting a mini whiteboard tucked into a corner. A small smile spread across her cheeks as she pulled it out in the middle of the room, gesturing for the kids to nudge their desks around to face it. 

"No, they don't."

"Where's Teacher?" Miriam asked sweetly, peering up at the lovely lady with her round, hazel eyes, making her stumble a little. How could one lie to a face like that? But (y/n) had to try, gulping the lump in her throat as Mika followed her every move, sensing that Ray was...up to something. 

"Uh, he's coming. A problem...came up."

"A problem?" Bose asked, eyelashes fluttering as his desk span around, forming a neat little circle with the others as the woman set up everything in the centre for her and Ray to teach. 

She adjusted the board, found some dry-erase markers, and dragged one of her husband's beloved bouncy ball chairs for him to bounce on. The day's lesson was supposed to be math, not her doofus' strongest subject, but she loved it, practically buzzing at the thought of numbers and such. Scribbling the word on the board, she hoped he wouldn't be too long, knowing she wasn't good at this lying thing. 

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Is it a big problem, Miss?" Percy inquired, worried that his instructor was having difficulties. If anything was wrong, he'd be the first to volunteer, although his frown deepened when Mrs Manchester snorted and coughed, a wobbly smile struggling to stay off her face. What was wrong with her now?

"You could say that..." (y/n) giggled to herself quietly, picturing her grumpy lover and his problem. She had no idea how he was dealing with it, but her tummy fluttered at what her brain conjured up. While she was squealing like a schoolgirl, the kids exchanged some bored and mildly disgusted glances, putting two and two together and then stopping. They didn't dare imagine what she was grinning about. 

"Do we even want to know?"

"No--it's nothing. We--I mean, he--I mean...nothing. Oh look, it's Professor Manchester, everybody," the heroine stammered before catching a glimpse of her husband. He strolled out of the cupboard like nothing was wrong, crossing his jacket across his chest and clearing his throat - nothing out of the ordinary, save for his dark eyes. 

They landed on his sweet girl, or so he deemed her, shooting her a knowing look as he approached to give her a chaste kiss and fleeting embrace, ready to educate. His hands squeezed her hips as he greeted the children, pretending nothing was wrong when they chatted and squirmed in their seats excitedly. 

"The minute we're alone, sweet girl..." he whispered hotly, mouth beside her ear so the kids couldn't hear him. A shiver ran through her body as she looked up at him and nodded weakly, pupils dilating and heart racing. 

"Okay, everybody, settle down. It's learning time..." (y/n) called to the kids, clapping her hands to mask how she fanned her warm cheeks. That man would be the death of her, never once straying from behind her as she beamed at the group. Together again, she lit up the room with her doofus, knowing he'd probably had to coach himself into calming down - dull thoughts of taxes, golf, and politicians. 

"Right, you are, pretty girl," Ray sighed, still all soft and gooey-eyed for his wife, even if she liked to tease him in closets like that.

"Now, children, what is math? Can you touch it? Can you hold it in your hand? If you shake it, would it rattle?"

"I don't think I've ever shaken math, doofus," his wife retorted with a bemused smile, lightly gripping his arm. He was adorable, pretending like he knew anything about the subject as she felt his biceps. Luckily, the kids followed anything he said, ignoring the lesson yet eager to trick Percy and Miriam into leaving, even if they were ever so lovely. 

"Over the next forty-five minutes, we're gonna find out together the answer to all these questions and more... And I think, along the way, we're gonna have a little bit of fun," the man told the children dreamily, booping his darling wife's nose, making her wrinkle it like a bunny. 

Meanwhile, as he talked nonsense, Chapa sneakily reached across to the keenly listening Brits, handing her hands behind the desk as she lightly zapped both with a small burst of lightning. Percy and Miriam jumped, freezing in their painful seats as all their hairs stood on end, shocked by what had just mysteriously happened. 

"Ahh!"

"Good heavens! My termite bench just gave me quite a shock!" Miriam gasped, her brother too stunned to speak for a minute. 

"Bet it hurt, right?" Chapa questioned darkly, peering at the polite children behind her creepy, babyish mask. But they didn't appear too troubled, annoyingly refusing to stand up from the infested wood since that would be terribly rude and discourteous to their generous hosts. 

"Indeed, it did," Percy nodded, only for his ginger sister to stop him, a gentle look coming over her. 

"But you know, Percy, that brief pain made me grateful for all the time I'm not in pain!" She sighed, practically angelic in everything she did and said, as her fellow students smacked their foreheads and internally groaned. What kind of kid thought like that? She had to be hiding a saint under that headscarf, fluttering her eyelashes innocently as her rosy, freckled cheeks twitched into a smile - almost heaven-sent. 

"Quite so! It seems like the lessons at this school go beyond what can be learned from books alone."

"What?" (y/n) murmured dryly, quirking an eyebrow at the boy and his Gospel-like ridiculous words. She placed her hands on Ray's shoulders as he plopped onto the bouncy chair, leaning his arms on the backrest while he, too, gave the orphans a bored glance. She almost felt bad for them, wondering what they'd endured to be grateful for the absence of pain. Still, Percy was just annoying - kissing ass with his smarmy ideas. 

"May I also say I love your festive mask!" Miriam told Chapa kindly, the disguise's creepiness barely affecting her as she beamed like sunshine. It was sickening to the cold, callous girl, who growled as they tried another trick. 

"Yeah, I love yours, too..." She sassed, much to the English girl's confusion, but she quickly saw what Bose was trying to do, spotting a pencil high above their heads. Something more menacing would've been better, but the boy could barely lift the graphite, so she laid the acting on thick.

"Look! A floating pencil!"

"Oh no, this place is haunted!..." Ray remarked tiredly, barely using a tenth of Chapa's excitement since he was too entranced by his wife's light massage, her fingers expertly kneading the knots in his shoulders. He needed it more than he realised, practically purring putty in her hands as Percy and Miriam gawped at the hovering pencil, wondering which spirit was haunting them. And surprisingly, they were superstitious, buying the deception without a doubt, more like a reverent trust. 

"Souuuuup!" Bose groaned quietly, hoping the new students didn't notice his twitching hands or ghostly noises. Still, thankfully, they were too bewitched to notice or care. To them, this was a sign from the dead, and who were they to ignore such a command?

"Spirits? Can you hear us? Tell Princess Diana that our country misses her so!" Miriam begged the floating pencil, sounding utterly ridiculous but sweet with her innocence. 

"Seriously? Lady Diana?" (y/n) scoffed, her hands settling on Ray's shoulders at the sight of--was that tears in their eyes? She didn't know why they'd want to cry over a woman dead for nearly thirty or why such a royal lady would haunt a pencil. Still, no one could tell them anything - a painful view for her and Mika, the Smarties. 

"And we hope she's having all the soup her heart desires!" That was the final straw. Bose released the pencil with a huff, slumping in his seat like Chapa when Percy faced the soup ghost head-on rather than fleeing, obviously not frightened. It was frustrating, yet...

"I'm sorry. I can't get over this..." Miles spoke before turning to the kids as if he couldn't cope with their relentless good manners. "When you were at the bus station, where did you go to the bathroom?!"

"Seriously? That's the bit you're still focusing on?" Miss Danger asked him flatly, fingertips dancing around Ray's freshly shaven throat and jaw. The boy couldn't let it go, pleading with a baffled Miriam and Percy to tell him where they...went, even though it was obvious. 

And amongst the termite stool, soup ghost, and Diana, Princess of Goddamn Wales, he still wanted to know which was Ray's last straw. 

"All right, that's it! Test of strength!" He declared, abruptly standing from his bouncy chair, despite how it felt to be under his wife's touch. The longer he sat and listened to them spouting their accented gibberish, the longer he had to wait until he could throw her on their mattress, so he took action, stomping over to the high striker. 

Bose helped Mika push her desk out of the way, creating more room for whichever unfortunate soul the headmaster chose to use his contraption. (y/n) closely behind, standing in front of a highly bored Schwoz and wondering what her lover had planned - whatever it was, it wouldn't be good. 

"You, Benedict Cumberbutt! Get up here!" He ordered Percy curtly, but the short boy didn't grumble like any polite person. He rose from the antique wheelchair and quickly hobbled over to his teacher, ready and willing to do whatever was instructed. 

"Take this hammer. Hit that, and try to get Professor Schwoz to ring the bell."

"Hello!" Schwoz waved at the puzzled children, who'd seen many strange things in their brief yet tumultuous lives, but the fuzzy little weirdo had to be one of the most peculiar. Still, Percy didn't argue, taking an old, woodworm-riddled hammer from Ray, which he had to use all his might to lift high above his head. 

"I shall try my level my best!"

"Um, doofus, are you sure this is safe? Will it even make them leave?" (y/n) hissed worriedly as he urged her to move back, ensuring he was in front of her for when the boy whacked the target. She glanced at how Percy strained to raise the hammer, looking like he was about to topple over, and she didn't want to know what would happen to Schwoz, aware of Ray's favourite tricks. 

Yet he gathered her in his arms once she and the other kids were far enough away, kissing her gently as he enjoyed her body against his. Perhaps it was a little mean, but he was sure it would drive them out, and Schwoz would survive. Probably. 

"See the head on that hammer?" He whispered in her ear before pecking the inch of skin below it. 

"I swapped it out with a Bolivian Boom Stone."

"Please, tell me you didn't..." (y/n) sighed, hiding behind her hands, although she couldn't help but peek through her fingers as her husband giggled impishly into her neck. No wonder he looked so excited, nearly trembling as he squeezed her waist and smooched her throat before eyeing Percy, who was ready to hit the target. 

"Shhhh! Here we go!" He squealed, curling around her protectively as the clueless children watched closely. 

"For the Princess!" Percy cried, hitching the hammer over his shoulder before he slammed it down with a mighty swing. The second it hit the high striker, the head exploded in a powerful, blue fireball, sending sparks, smoke, and dust through the air - him, too. The poor kid was blasted through the roof, coming down and landing on the cold, hard floor with a dull thud as Miriam gasped in horror. 

(y/n) doubted that Lady Di would be impressed with that performance. 

"My brother!" The young girl shrieked, running over to Percy's side with a wretched expression. 

"My knitting!" Schwoz whimpered, too, although he wasn't cooked like the boy was - just a little smoky. Percy was toast, though, lying on the tiles, moaning and groaning, covered in soot. He was dazed and confused, swearing he couldn't see, think, or hear correctly, yet he clambered to his feet, hunched over a desk for support as his sister tittered and fussed. 

They had no idea what had happened, but they always grinned and bore the pain with good humour and a sweet smile. 

"It's okay! I've always wanted to fly!" He exclaimed happily, a slight groan in his voice, but he was irritatingly resilient, making the Danger Force team groan and curse the day he was born. Even if Miriam was delighted that he was okay, they were devastated, barely holding back their grumbles since nothing they did could make them leave. 

The school day was nearly over, and they'd have to try again tomorrow, but not before dealing with the dozens of emergencies that came through while entertaining Little Miss Muffet and her brother. Ray's wishes for a quiet moment wouldn't come true so soon...

~Early the following day ~

In all her days as a superhero, (y/n) had never experienced such a rough night. 

Percy and Miriam didn't budge from their respective stool or chairs. They listened intently to whatever the Danger Force team threw their way until the final bell rang to signal school was out. Walking out the doors with bright smiles and cheery waves, they promised to return tomorrow, which Ray couldn't wait for, especially since he had to go into the city to fight crime. 

His special night turned into a disaster when they saw the mountain of emergency calls on the supercomputer, waiting for whichever hero to respond. There were dozens of voicemails, more than he'd ever left hanging. He had no choice but to apologise to his precious wife before sending her and the kids on missions. 

Intimacy was forgotten, and so was that moment alone, and whilst (y/n) didn't complain, taking Chapa to go and save a hippie in a tree, she was disappointed. And that made him mad, meaning that by the time the sun crept over the hills, he was beyond pissed - borderline insane. 

An agonising twelve hours later, the crew trudged into the Man's Nest, where Schwoz had napped, waiting for their return. It was nice that someone could sleep - poor Mika could barely keep her eyes open as she arrived in the tubes, every inch of her body hurting. 

"Kill me. Kill me now..." (y/n) grumbled as they hobbled down the steps, barely functioning after back-to-back missions and zero sleep. She tried to power-nap during the brief intermissions between rescues but never switched off, so she cried out for her bed, even if it wasn't how she and Ray had hoped. 

The kids grunted in agreement as they shuffled onto the floor, their Captain clumsily following behind them with his eyes barely open. He'd been uncharacteristically silent during the trip back, slumping on his wife's shoulder as she navigated the route home. Still, everyone was too tired to notice his maddened ramblings and bizarre behaviour. 

"I'm so tired..." Mika groaned before yawning, so sleepy that she accidentally activated her super-scream. A small shockwave rumbled through the air, hitting Schwoz where he napped - upside from a pole across the ceiling, looking like a goddamn bat. It couldn't be comfortable, sleeping with all the blood rushing to his brain, but it was just another weird Schwoz habit, even if no one could get used to it. 

"Sorry..." She told him tiredly when he hit the floor with a squeak, wondering what had hit him as he scrambled to his feet, clad in thick, navy blue plaid pyjamas. 

But it wasn't entirely her fault; even Miles was affected, stretching as he yawned, and when he raised his arm, he accidentally teleported, spooking his sister when he appeared beside her in a flash of light and slumped on the couch. 

"Where have you beens all night?" Schwoz asked, having fallen asleep waiting for them, and it hadn't been a restful period. 

"Fighting crime..." Bose replied, and if any of them felt any better, they would've been ecstatic to tell the genius all about it. The adults couldn't do it single-handedly, so for once, Ray and (y/n) relented, allowing them to deal with minor emergencies. At the same time, they took the big stuff like robberies, villains, and murders, which really affected the guy. 

Ray muttered gibberish as he mushed his face into his sweet girl's shoulder and collapsed over the couch, scrubbing his gloved hand over his face. (y/n) absentmindedly petted his ruffled hair, head jerking when she nearly nodded off, standing up. Yet she refused to fall asleep when everyone else still worked, no matter if she was a walking vegetable. 

"We had to take care of all the emergencies we missed during the day when Percy and Miriam were here," Chapa explained, ignoring how weird her mentor was acting, assuming that he was just snuggling with (y/n/n) like he always did--and they'd all learned to look over that. 

"Well, ten more emergencies came in while you were gone," Schwoz revealed, much to their horror. It was only a tiny amount, but they had nothing to give, feeling ready to collapse since it took the rest of their energy reserves to keep talking. 

But, while they all groaned, something weird happened. Ray flinched upward, standing oddly straight as he growled at no one as if he were having an argument with thin air. His lips moved, but no words came out; it sounded like a conversation as he clumsily pawed at his wife before bumbling across the room toward the front door. 

"What's wrong with Ray?" Bose asked, wondering where the hero was going in such a hurry when he'd worked himself half to death. 

"Oh no..." Schwoz gulped worriedly, staring after the man as he grumpily pushed through the glass doors, seemingly looking for something. 

He glanced at (y/n), who'd not even noticed his disappearance as she bent over at a ninety-degree angle onto the couch, dozing with her arms resting on the squishy backrest. She just wanted to close her eyes for a second, humming contently as sleep crept into her mushy mess of a brain.

"Is that a good oh no?"

"Oh, no, no! It's a bad one! (y/n/n), did you not put Ray down for a nap last night?" The small man panicked as he dashed over to the woman's side, poking her in the ribs to try and keep her awake. 

She grumbled throatily, swatting at his hand as she tried to resume her mini-nap; she deserved one. While he'd had a peaceful night, she'd been walking - in heels - for nine hours straight, had been puked on by a drunk man, choked by a wannabe supervillain, and had fought with a sumo wrestler over a turkey sandwich. She deserved that nap. 

But Schwoz wouldn't let up, grabbing her by the forearms and roughly shaking some consciousness into her because they had a different kind of emergency on their hands. Everyone assumed that Ray just liked getting his wife into bed, often seen dozing with her whenever they had a free moment, whether it be on the couch or in their room, but he needed that sleep. His superpower took a lot out of him, and bad things happened when he couldn't hold her in his arms...

"(y/n), wake up! Did you and Ray have a nap last night?!"

"Does it look like I had a nap last night? Now...Ray--Ray--Ray--Ray-Ray...My hubby, Ray..." She hummed, looking utterly stupid with that dopey grin, grumpy about not sleeping, but talking about her lover made her so silly, smiling like an idiot as she tried to think.

"Um...He likes sleeping. Sleeps on the right side of the bed. Doesn't like pyjamas. Uses..." she yawned loudly and abruptly, "peppermint toothpaste. Likes the room freezing cold 'cause he's this big...warm...doo--doofus."

"Yes, but did he have a nap?!" Schwoz asked exasperatedly, patting her cheek to try and make her focus. He didn't care if she knew his nighttime routine like the back of her hand, only that it was usually her job to ensure he got enough sleep. God knows that man would run around all day if no one was there to tempt him into the bedroom. 

"Um...no?" She offered awkwardly, suddenly feeling a little soberer as her skin stung, and a terrible realisation dawned on her. "Oh, shit... I completely forgot about his nap! We were just so busy, and he seemed fine... This is bad."

"Why?" Miles asked quietly, frowning when he watched the woman rake her shaky fingers through her tussled hair, eyes bloodshot and wide. She was panicking, hugging her body, when her bottom lip wobbled like she'd done something terrible. She looked guilty and scared as she craned toward the doors, hoping to spot her husband before he went berserk. 

"If Ray doesn't get enough sleep, he turns bad until he can sleep again! And believe me, he gets real grumpy if (y/n) isn't with him!" 

"Like a good bad?" Mika asked meekly, making Schwoz look at her dryly. They didn't understand how bad this was, going beyond a quick cuddle on the couch. His dark glare made the kids shrink back, sensing the girl was clutching at straws, hoping against hope that it was a happy sneer. 

"Remember Roy, who wanted to take candy from that handsome baby?" 

"I remember Roy..." Chapa remarked when Schwoz smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, smoothing his ego when they should've been worrying about Ray. He was poking around the front porch, digging through his wife's pretty flowerbeds like a dog searching for a buried bone. It made her glance at him worriedly when he growled some indecipherable curse. 

"Yeah, he was like Ray, but evil," Miles noted, knowing he'd never forget the man's weird performance, especially that moustache. But, despite how funny he was and primarily unthreatening, the idea of an evil Captain Man terrified the children because it wouldn't be make-believe. He'd try to hurt people and behave cruelly - the anti-doofus - making them shudder at the thought. 

"That's what happens to Ray if he doesn't get enough sleep," (y/n) sighed, holding her clammy cheeks as she shook her head sadly, scolding herself for not seeing the signs because she was merely exhausted. 

And, speaking of the devil, Ray burst through the door, stumbling down the steps like a drunkard, heading for the group with a vicious snarl. He said something, sounding like he was talking to Chapa. Still, no one could work out what he was saying, slurring his words until her name and laughing sounded like gibberish - either way, he looked furiously determined. 

"Schwoz! Do you still keep your flesh-eating bacteria in this old mayonnaise jar?" He asked through a yawn, knocking into his sweet girl as she stared at him in alarm, terrified that he even wanted to hold that much in his hand. It was one of the genius' more revolting experiments, and she didn't like to mess with it, having watched the lethal gunge strip melt the meat off a chicken drumstick in ten seconds flat. 

"No, doofus, don't touch that!" She ordered him, tentatively reaching out to take it off him before he did himself mischief, but Ray refused. He whined at her defiantly, sounding like a moody child as he pulled the jar out of her reach and unscrewed the lid. Everyone jumped back in terror when the bacteria breathed fresh air, quietly hissing and fizzing like they whispered for flesh, and no one fancied being its dinner. 

"Answered my own question. I'mma go throw it on those kids." Ray sniffed casually, spinning clumsily on his heel as if he was going to hunt down Percy and Miriam, wherever they lived, and coat them in that goop... 

As annoying as they were, no one deserved that, making his friends cringe and scream when he tried to walk away. 

"No, Roy--I mean, Ray, you shouldn't do that!" (y/n) told him, reaching out to catch his arm before he could stomp away. Luckily, the man couldn't ignore his precious girl, even in his drained state, turning around to meet her eye with a dumb expression. He looked rough, hair all unkempt and fluffy - so unlike his usual groomed mane - and his skin looked dull and blotchy, but he tried his best to focus on his wife when his heart pulled toward her. 

"Why not, darlin'?" He pouted, behaving only because she was watching. 

"Um...it might get on you, and I don't want to ruin this handsome face!" She laughed nervously, cupping his cheeks whilst edging away from the putrid jar, which she swore hissed at her. He sighed at her touch, head lolling forward like he could go to sleep right then and there, but he refused, shaking his body to snap out of it - although laying down with her for a little while didn't sound so bad. 

"I'm indestructible...and so tired!" He yawned, moving to kiss her forehead, but it was more of a headbutt, making (y/n) yelp. As she rubbed her sore skull, the doofus plodded away, swearing he didn't need to sleep because he had a job to get rid of those British kids if it was the last thing he did. 

"But it still might eat off all of your hair!" Schwoz called after him, matching the heroine's worry when the man headed toward the door again. 

"No! Not the floppy floof!" (y/n) whimpered childishly, stamping her foot as her exhaustion made her stroppy. She pouted and crossed her arms, looking like a scolded toddler at the thought of losing one of her favourite doofy features. But Ray wasn't listening, even as the bacteria hungered for sustenance. 

"Shut up, bacteria! Leave me alone! My wife says I'm so...handsome!" He rambled, pushing the door open with a limp arm as he cradled the mayo jar to his chest. 

His sweet girl longed to go after him, feeling weepy and tired that she had jelly legs, so it was up to Schwoz to chase after him while the kids rallied around her. 

"Okay, new problem. We can't let Ray throw that flesh-eating bacteria on Percy and Miriam," Mika sighed, patting the woman soothingly on the back as her friends agreed, even Chapa. She was mean and ruthless, but she only wanted to scare them away, not melt them like butter, so, as much as it played against her morals, she knew they had to stop the man. 

And that wouldn't be easy after staying up all night. 

"Step one--we stay awake. If we fall asleep, we can't protect Percy and Miriam." She nodded, steeling herself and ignoring her desperate wish to curl up in a ball and sleep. It was okay; she'd pulled all-nighters before, although it wasn't on a school night. 

"You sure? You guys haven't stopped since yesterday afternoon," (y/n) fretted, noticing the bags under their eyes and how droopy Mika looked. And, when she tucked her fingers under Chapa's chin, analysing her worriedly, the girl didn't even jerk away with blushing cheeks, holding her eyelids shut for a long second. 

"We're fine, (y/n/n). School starts in ten minutes," Miles assured her, ignoring how his eyes couldn't focus on anything for more than ten seconds. 

"Good. We can make it ten minutes."

"Yeah! I'm not tired at all!" Bose smiled cockily, reclining against the couch to try and convince their only sane teacher. They had no idea how the lesson would go if Ray was off his rocker, but one thing was for sure - sleep was their enemy, and they were on their guard. 

Nope, they wouldn't drop off. They were superheroes, and sleep was for the weak. Definitely. Nothing would get past them, no matter if they just closed their eyes for a quick second...counting sheep...dreaming of bedtime...pillows and cotton wool. So...very...sleepy.

~

Or not. The second the kids sat down at their desks, bones aching after so much hard work, a wave of sleepiness washed over them. 

The class had barely begun, yet their heads dipped, resting on their open books and tables as Percy and Miriam stood silently in the doorway. They were baffled to see their fellow students snoring away with the lovely Mrs Manchester swaying on the stage with bleary eyes and dull reflexes. She greeted them quietly, waving weakly as she rubbed her eyes, looking dreadful without a touch of concealer and blush for her pesky complexion. 

"Hello, P-Piriam and Mercy...welcome to your s-second day," (y/n) spoke softly, bumbling over those tricky syllables as the children frowned in concern. They'd never comment on her appearance - they were far too polite to tell her that her blouse wasn't buttoned up correctly and her jacket looked dirty - but she was acting weird and looked worse. 

"Miss...are you all right? Miriam asked kindly, wondering why the woman who seemed so sharp yesterday was swaying from side to side as she waited for her crazed husband. 

"Yes, thank you. I am exquisite! Would you be so kind as to join your fellow academics of the scholarly arts?" She asked, gesturing to their rickety seats as she mimicked their accents, unable to help herself. Nothing made sense; she smiled dreamily at the confused girl as she nearly tripped over her feet since the world felt fuzzy. 

"Um...hello, schoolmates?" Percy called out tentatively, scared to sit down as they slumbered silently on their desks, sniffling and snuffling in their sleep but not replying. 

"Oh, Percy! What's wrong with them?--"

"I'm awake!" The siblings peered at the superhero kids, alarmed at how Mika suddenly shot up with wide eyes and stiff limbs, screaming to the heavens. She swore she'd only closed her eyes briefly, waking her friends up simultaneously, so they all saw that they'd been napping for fifteen minutes or more. (y/n) was too nice to wake them up, hoping they could catch a few winks before Ray turned up, wherever he was. 

"Is there something wrong?" The polite boy asked warmly, and the kids all turned to stare at them, thankfully noticing the lack of mayo. How long had they been standing there?

"Yes! You guys gotta get out of here!" Mika told them urgently, fearing what her boss would do when he found them. Sweet girl or no sweet girl, she felt that, at this point, Ray was too tired to listen to anyone. 

"We would never abandon you in a time of need!"

"No, SWAG for life, I say!"

"And so say I!" Miriam and Percy declared, refusing to flee when there was danger. Whilst it was noble and valiant of them, especially how they thumped their clenched fists against their chests like some kind of oath, it made their new friends groan in frustration. They couldn't help but be nice, even though it was for their own good--and it was becoming grating. 

"(y/n), have you seen Ray?" Suddenly, Schwoz burst into the room from the cupboard, looking frantic and nervous as his eyes scoured the room for the fatigued hero. 

"If I had, we'd be sleeping by now," the heroine replied, only to pause her temple massage when a thought hit her, "Wait, I thought he was with you!"

"Yah...he's not."

"Schwoz!" (y/n) facepalmed, gaze flickering to Miriam and Percy as they smiled and waved pleasantly. Bless them - they didn't understand what was happening, although she wasn't sure if they'd run away screaming if they knew the anti-doofus was hunting them with murderous bacteria. They'd probably through it a tea party, not that they'd let Ray near them. 

Her poor doofus was probably scared, alone, and confused, blinded by his exhaustion, which made her heart throb and long to guide him to their room. They'd nap for ten hours at least, then some more until he forgot about the mayonnaise and became his silly, lovable self again. She hated the thought of everyone fearing him - it wasn't his fault. 

"Okay, out the door! Let's go--Let's go--s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Mika shouted, taking charge of the situation as the adults bickered, the heroine scolding Schwoz for somehow losing a six-foot bumbling man. 

But there was no time for arguing as they ushered the orphans outside, pulling the big, heavy, wooden doors open--only to see Roy waiting menacingly on the porch. He looked worse than before, barely having the strength to don his dandy attire, so his shirt and jacket were rumpled, cravat pulled loose down his front, and his pants didn't look ironed. He hadn't had a wash or bothered to brush his hair since that took more effort than he had, yet the mayonnaise jar was still tightly in his palm. 

His wife whimpered at how...awful he looked, glaring at poor Percy and Miriam as they cowered in the doorway, terrified of the insane glint in his eye. That wasn't the doofus she married, all red-faced and crazy, with eyes for nothing but murder. 

"Cheerio, kiddies! Who's hungry for mayonnaise?!" Ray cackled evilly, brandishing the jar in the horrified kids' faces, and even Danger Force was scared. They shrieked in terror, Bose trembling and hiding in (y/n)'s arms, as Chapa and Miles pushed him back a few paces and attempted to close the doors--anything to keep him out. Meanwhile, Mika pulled Percy and Miriam further into the classroom, knowing they'd have to defend them from there. 

"Into the closet, Canadians!" Bose instructed them, meaning well, even if he was a little confused. 

"Is there something wrong with Teacher?" Percy snivelled at (y/n) as she guided him and his sister into the back room, praying they'd be safe there. It broke her heart to hear his question, not knowing how to explain to the doe-eyed boy that her husband wanted to watch the flesh melt off their bones, so she just smiled and shoved him behind the door. 

"Yes! Everything's fine--just don't come out until we tell you!" She laughed nervously as if her frenzied actions didn't shout the opposite. They slammed the door shut, lamenting that there was a lock, but they stood fast, Mika and Bose working to block the door while the heroine protected them. 

Her husband finally shouldered in the door, unable to direct his sausage-like fingers to use the handle. Still, he made it, delirious and determined to hunt down those kids. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, knowing that while it broke her heart, she'd whack him if she had to, resolved to keep her babies safe, no matter what. 

And she supposed that, even if it was for a little while, and even if they were annoyingly mannerly, Percy and Miriam fell into that category. Her duty was to keep them safe, especially from the thing haunting her husband. 

"Where are those, Brits, (y/n)? I gotta get rid of those kids!" Ray - or Roy - asked gruffly, staring at his trembling with uncommonly dark and harsh eyes, unlike the innocent blue she was used to. 

She tried not to take it to heart as she faced him, arms crossed across her chest to shield her love from his malice - telling herself that her doofus would never use her real name in such a casual fashion. Her husband only called her by the sweetest words, saying them with love and affection, and he'd never sneer at his students like that. 

"Doofus, you need to sleep! Why don't we just go lie down? Hmmm?" She offered gently, resting her flat palms on his chest as she fluttered her eyelashes to entice him, which worked briefly. The man laid his hands on her hips, gaze softening at her touch and sweet proposal, and it sounded heavenly, almost enough to tempt him into dropping the jar, but he shook his head and growled. 

"Which I'll never get as long as they're here! We'll sleep when they're gone!"

"Okay, Raymond, if you act like a child, I will treat you like a child," (y/n) growled, clutching his untucked shirt as she frowned and dug her heels into the floor.

"You've got two options, mister. Come to bed with me right now, or I'll drag your ass there myself, and you'll sleep alone." She huffed, folding her arms to show she meant business. No one else dared to meet Roy's glare, but she bravely blocked him with her body as he pouted, something deep down in his heart telling his sleepy brain that its match wasn't happy. The aching in his chest didn't cease, but he ignored it, even if her sad stare made it worse. 

"...Third option--spin move!" He snapped rebelliously and, much to her shock, dashed to dodge past her. She was expecting some trick, moving in time with the hulking hero, but for someone so bulky, he was agile, wriggling past her defences to charge at the kids - the last line of defence. 

With Miss Danger tripping over herself, Chapa stepped up, conjuring a mighty jolt of electricity to shock Ray in the chest. It stunned him briefly, making him gasp and shudder as he scowled and took a moment to recover. Miles tucked himself under his arm while frozen, making (y/n) sniffle at how roughly they had to treat him. 

"Next stop--the Man's Nest!" The boy quipped, ensuring his teacher was securely in his grasp before thrusting his arm in the air, teleporting them out of the room. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief...for about five seconds. Unfortunately, Miles' inability to land correctly meant that he and Ray reappeared less than a metre away, incoherent and confused from the short trip. 

"Oh, come on! Not even out of the room?!" And no one was more upset than Miles, who frowned and stamped his foot when he noticed how miserably he'd done, perhaps even only succeeded in edging the sleepy man closer to their wards. 

"Lemme at those kids!" Ray screeched, holding the jar of flesh-eating bacteria high above his head, ready to toss it at whichever Brit came his way. Chapa pressed herself against the door, blocking him from reaching the door handle as Percy and Miriam cowered in the closet, hearing nothing but raised voices and arguing. 

"You know we can't let you do that, Raymond!" (y/n) growled, her mean glare distracting him long enough for Bose to sneak in with his telekineses. 

The hero couldn't help but feel bad as his precious girl hissed at him, allowing the kid to carefully lift the jar out of his hand and harm's way until it floated high above Ray's head. He swatted the air for it, growling for the mayo to return to him, but even he wasn't tall enough to jump and grab it. Thankfully, it wasn't too heavy for Bose to use his power, keeping him bouncing to reach it, giving his heavy-hearted wife quick peeks at his toned tummy when his shirt rose. 

Mika went next, activating his super-scream to try and knock the hero over now that he was unarmed. Yet, unfortunately, she didn't aim very well. She accidentally hit Bose, too, toppling the kid over and shattering his concentration on the jar, making it fall through the air. 

Whilst he fell to the floor, Ray stayed on his feet, confused and oblivious, until it crashed on his head, sending glass shards and thick, gloopy bacteria all over his beautiful hair. And those nasty critters were hungry. Instantly, it began to burn, chomping through his silken locks with a voracious hunger, making Ray grasp at his head in terror. 

He yelled in horror, hands coated in the goo and clumps of his hair, extra terrified in his tired state. As the hero panicked and screamed in pain, his wife rushed to his side, nervous about getting anything on her since she wasn't quite indestructible but couldn't bear to see him in pain. He raced past her, running for the front door like the outdoors could save him from the itching, creepy-crawly tingling on his scalp, much to her concern. 

"Raymond! His hair--his beautiful hair!" (y/n) blubbered, torn between chasing after him to try and wash it off and staying to keep watch. The damage was already done, and whilst she assumed Schwoz's science would fix the mess his bacteria caused, there was no helping him while he ran riot. 

"Friends!" A joyous voice called out, and the group froze. They knew that chirpy tone and polite accent anywhere. "We can stay idle no longer!"

"Are you okay?" Miriam questioned kindly as she and Percy emerged from the closet, troubled by the bizarre and horrifying noises they heard through the door. They didn't mean to drop any eaves, but...it would be rude to not offer any assistance. 

"Um...well..." (y/n) giggled nervously, scratching her head as she tried to explain everything. But how do you tell two children that your sleep-deprived husband went on a murderous rampage, and now bacteria were eating his hair? God, she wanted a nap, but at least things couldn't get much worse. 

"Hello?! What's going on in there?" She spoke too soon. The headmistress felt her heart plummet into her tummy, alive with nerves at the sound of that shrill voice. And there was only one woman it belonged to - the one with the nose she liked to stick in unwanted places. Sharona Shapen and her impeccable timing. 

She stomped into the classroom in another hideous suit: grey check with a flouncy lilac scarf, matching blouse, a little flower pin on her lapel, and a deep frown on her meerkat-like face. The kids froze upon seeing her, looking to (y/n) for help since she was supposed to be the teacher--the ringleader in their den of chaos. 

"Normal school stuff?" She said anxiously, wiping her moist palms on her jacket as she subtly straightened herself out, patting down her skirt and tucking her hair behind her ears. The heroine refused to look subpar to that clown of a woman. Still, Sharona didn't spare her a glance, finding Percy and Miriam and grinning her toothy smile when she saw them standing together - fortunately, still in one piece. 

"Ah-ha! There's my little British Bake-Offs! You're coming with me," she told them firmly in a weirdly happy voice. 

The siblings peered at her strangely, wondering why the inspector had returned so quickly when they'd barely settled into their new school. But she insisted, not taking their confusion or no for an answer. 

"What's this?"

"Whatever for?" They inquired, utterly puzzled they'd sworn their oath of allegiance or whatever, refusing to leave their friends simply because she said so. 

"I got a new school for ya!"

"We will never leave our friends," Percy replied sharply, standing shoulder to shoulder with his sister as she readily agreed. Although their time had been short and weird, they felt a strange sense of loyalty. Still, perhaps that was simply their nobility and honour shining through, making Chapa wrinkle her nose in disgust. 

"SWAG forever, I say!"

"And so say I!"

"Yeah, you're going to forget about these dopes in, like, two seconds when the horse-drawn carriage gets here," Sharona shrugged, having mysteriously found somewhere much more suitable for the orphans than the shitshow ran by that mousy woman and her handsome yet husband. 

And speaking of that smoke show, Ray rolled in, screaming and shouting like a raving lunatic as he descended from the steps to the Man's Nest. (y/n) felt her mouth go dry and her intestines clench when she saw how he clutched at his smooth, shiny, bald head, completely stripped free of hair - even a stubble. The bacteria had left nothing behind, and for a guy so caught up in his appearance, the loss, combined with his exhaustion, was devastating. 

"My hair! My beautiful hair!"

"Oh, doofus..." she mumbled, pressing a trembling hand against her cheek as he barrelled toward the group. He looked crazy in his sleek, rumpled, gunge-covered clothes, but she knew she still loved him, even if he looked like an egg. She wasn't so shallow as to focus on his lack of chocolate locks, even if she silently mourned its loss. 

"Ah, it burns! Oh, God, it burns!" He shrieked, collapsing into the antique chair that Percy had been sitting in as it rolled out the door. Seeing a bald man with superpowers wheeling himself around his school for gifted children was a strange sight, shouting and screaming to God. Miss Shapen wondered what she'd walked into, and she was glad to return to save those poor orphans from the madness. 

"What's his problem?"

"He just needs a nap--now, what's this about a horse-drawn carriage?" Chapa asked curiously, knowing her friend would get her doofus into bed once the strangers were gone, but she wanted to know where they were going. And in such luxury, at that. 

"Some billionaire in Bordertown runs a school for poor, gifted English kids," Sharona explained excitedly, eager to whisk Percy and Miriam away from the cesspit of a school so she could go and enjoy the billionaire's company--and hopefully a few of his millions. 

"Oh, does he?" Mika gasped incredulously, twirling a lock of her dark hair around her finger as she smirked at the odd woman--looking as if she knew something her friends didn't. It took a minute for (y/n) to figure it out, her brain not what it usually was when she was so tired, but then, it hit her. She didn't...did she?

"Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork to apply. I don't know how you did it!" The inspector remarked to Percy and Miriam, who looked just as flabbergasted as she did, not knowing what she was talking about. But Mika had it covered, silently smug that she'd tapped away on her computer as per her teacher's advice whilst they all doubted her. 

"Me neither! It's almost like someone else filled out their applications for them!"

"Yeah, whatever! Anyway, each kid gets a million bucks and a banger of an education. Much better than this dump!" Miss Shapen cackled, much to (y/n)'s offence, who folded her arms and glared, looking slightly meaner than usual with her dark under-eyes and doofus-less status. 

"Hey! I'll have you know my husband and I put our life savings into this place!" She retorted indignantly, highly protective of her beautiful school's windows and gardens. She left out the part where the good old taxpayer funded half of it, not that the odd woman needed to know that- they were obliged to Captain Man and Miss Danger for guarding them. 

"Your husband?!" Sharona laughed cruelly, gesturing to where Ray rolled away, wailing hysterically. "What kind of gifted school is run by an old bald guy in a wheelchair?"

"I'll have you know, Sharona--"

"I am not old!" Ray snapped rudely, abruptly rolling into the room with a scowl, butting in when his sweet girl went to defend him. She sighed at the sorry sight he made, knowing it had been a trying few days for him, casting back to that promise she had made. Would they even have time for that now?

His head shined under the bright lights, looking particularly spherical and slick, exasperated by his kooky clothes. Yet despite everything, he was offended by the insinuation that he was old - his classic sore spot. 

"Pipe down, Mr Clean!" Sharona hissed, scrunching her face in disgust at his unkempt, bohemian appearance. Before (y/n) could say something - or punch her in the teeth - the inspector stormed forward and kicked Ray's wheelchair, sending his back onto the porch as he clutched his sore, chilly scalp. How cruel - she picked on him at his most vulnerable. 

"My doofus!" The heroine exclaimed in horror, cringing when she heard her lover whimper and crash into something. 

"Listen here, Sharona," she snarled defensively, "what's your game? What do you want?"

"Your school can keep its license, Mrs Manchester, but I'm never sending any other students here again," the gaudy woman announced, much to Miriam and Percy's disappointment, their bottom lips wobbling. They didn't want to leave, but their friends couldn't help but secretly celebrate the news; they'd never have to worry about unwanted visitors again. They had Ray and his spectacular performance to thank for that.

"Now, come on, beans and toast. Time to Brexit!" Miss Shapen whistled to the orphans, ignoring their kicked-puppy expressions since she was on a roll with her British puns. She waltzed out of the classroom, expecting them to follow her, and the kids had no choice but to take their leave, but not before bidding their friends and instructor goodbye. 

"We will never forget you! Thank you so much, Miss (y/n)!" Percy smiled and sniffed, blinking back tears as he suddenly wrapped his arms around (y/n)'s waist. The poor kid was so short, barely reaching past her tummy as his sister hugged her other side, snuggling into her body like they were leaving their mother or a dear friend. Despite the surprise, it warmed the woman's heart, and she couldn't leave them hanging. 

"It was my pleasure to...teach you," she told them gently, awkwardly patting their headscarf and flat cap since she wouldn't assume they learned anything from their hurried and bizarre lessons. But, if anything, the children were a delight in the school and, as always, so very polite.

"SWAG forever, I say!"

"And so say I!" They swore stalwartly, ignoring the sadness to tap their fists against their chests. It was a final goodbye that moved even the stoniest of hearts--namely Chapa's, who nodded solemnly as the others tried not to cry. They were so strong, especially Miles, who repeated their gestures as the brother and sister emotionlessly marched away without another word - not looking back once. 

And then, they were alone again as Percy and Miriam left for a life of ease and luxury--it was almost convincing enough to make them follow. But they didn't, seeing Ray parked outside and knowing they had their own oath to fulfil, starting with getting him in bed with his sweet girl and a wig. 

"Can't believe Miles was right..." Bose sighed as they gathered together, feeling empty now that their little crumpets had gone on to better things, but Mika couldn't help but frown...

"About what?" (y/n) asked curiously, knowing that the first thing she wanted to do was sleep, snuggled up to her husband on their emperor-sized bed. 

"The solution revealed itself!"

"What?" Mika frowned at this long-haired boy's words, refusing to believe that he thought her brother and his mystic bullshit were the answer to their problems. They ignored how she worked her butt off to get Miriam and Percy into that fancy school. Still, they laughed and congratulated Miles for his efforts--like they left by chance. It was amusing for (y/n) to watch, chuckling to herself when she practically saw steam coming out of the girl's ears. 

"Hey, yeah. It did!" Chapa agreed, clueless to the furious girl by her elbow. 

"The universe will provide..." Miles stated calmly and smugly, infuriating his sister even more. He lapped up all the attention his friends gave him, feeling like he was one with the spirits--although he'd meet them sooner than later if Mika got ahold of him. 

"Mika provides! I filled out their applications like (y/n) told me to while everyone else wasn't paying any attention to me!" She exclaimed frustratedly, wildly gesturing to herself as she ranted about how she'd saved the day - it was funny to watch.

But her friends weren't in the mood for one of her holier-than-thou lectures, glancing at each other tiredly before simply walking away, heading for the closet so they could go to the Man's Nest and nap. They deserved a little relaxation, their heads throbbing too much to listen to Mika's incessant ramblings. 

"Hello?! Hello?! I exist! (y/n/n), tell them!" She wailed, looking at the older girl pleadingly to get her support, but she just laughed kindly. 

"You did good, Mika. Well done for helping us out," (y/n) praised her happily, rubbing her head like she was rewarding a puppy, but Mika lapped it up. She practically glowed at the compliment, beaming with pride, even if she tried to appear modest and humble. 

"Aw, shucks..."

"So, go and rest with the others. You must be exhausted," the heroine told her, ushering the sleepy girl toward where her friends had disappeared when she yawned suddenly. Too tired to argue, Mika nodded weakly, rolling her shoulders now the adrenaline had worn off, and she turned to the door, fingers brushing the golden handle when she noticed that her friend wouldn't follow. 

"What about you? Aren't you gonna go to bed?"

"Of course! My feet feel like they'll drop off if I wear these heels for a minute longer," she replied with a tired laugh, shifting from one foot to the other since she couldn't feel her toes. They'd been squashed in heels - boots or otherwise - for over twelve hours, and she was drained, hearing her bed calling out to her. She'd listen, knowing the route even with her eyes closed, but first, there was something she needed to do...

"But first, I need to go get His Grumpiness."

"Oh, come on. Ray will be fine if you nap for an hour or two!" Mika exclaimed, slowly pushing the door open, hoping it would tempt the woman into tagging along. She hated the bags under her eyes, but no matter what she said, she still edged toward the front door, where Ray still sulked on the porch in his wheelchair, determined to go to bed with him. 

"I guess, but he's my husband, and I love him, even if he's all eggy now," (y/n) shrugged, gently refusing the girl's subtle offer when she jerked her head to the back room, setting her sights on the grumbling doofus throwing a tantrum amongst the potted plants. 

It would be nightmarish and nearly impossible to convince him to go with her, considering how he was screeching and scratching at his hairless head, but she'd manage it. No matter if it took another hour, she'd drag him there, strip his stupid riding boots off, and tuck them under the comforter - they'd solve his smooth noggin problem later. 

"Can't sleep without him..."

"Do you think he'll be bald forever?" The girl asked curiously, wondering if it was something they'd have to get used to, but she didn't look too worried. As much as she adored his brown floof, (y/n) didn't cry or frown, unlike when she first saw his kooky new look, seeming oddly relaxed and happy as she hovered in front of the door. 

"Nah... Schwoz will throw some hair juice on his head or something, and I'll have my handsome doofus back in no time!" She exclaimed, practically bouncing with joy at the thought of being in her lover's embrace again, where she could hear his rational thoughts and sweet words. She needed it after a long day, shivering at the thought of finally resting with him. 

In her happiness, she didn't feel the smile creeping onto her face, too wrapped up to see Mika giggling at that dreamy-eyed expression. 

"You really love him, don't you?" She remarked softly, half-disappearing behind her door as (y/n) went in the opposite direction on her mission. Her cheeks grew warm, yet she quickly nodded, never denying it - her purest form was when she revelled in her deep adoration for that man, who took all other love she might have had for anyone else to give her room to grow. 

"More than anything..." she replied softly, enough for Mika. The girl didn't argue any more, seeing that nothing she said would convince her otherwise. She passed into the other room, leaving the heroine with weariness and endless love as everything finally fell silent. 

The classroom needed a good tidy, and she wanted to check on the kids before she slept since it had been their longest shift yet. There was a lot to do, more than she could bear to think about when her body ached, begging to restore itself, but it was nice to stand and appreciate...nothing. No problems, no children, nothing that could go wrong...

She was frozen, seeing the sunlight holding the dust in its beams before it settled on her surfaces, readying for cleaning. Maybe in a few hours, but she could hear Ray crying on the front porch, calling her name in a needy, pitchy voice as his fists thumped the chair. He had to be her priority, worrying for others before herself. 

She sighed and closed her eyes, knowing the silence never lasted long, but that was okay. She fixed her jacket, rubbed her face, and studied the messy classroom, calling out that she was on her way, fighting through the exhaustion. 

Off she went again, head held high as the school doors closed until the next crazy adventure.

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[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 14: My Dinner With Bigfoot (SMUT)

*hola, amigos, we have a little sprinkling of smut throughout the chapter. 

Oh, yeah, this is gonna be spread out since variety is the spice of life. don't do stuff in the woods though. you will get arrested in real life. HAVE FUN!

for the less corrupted amongst us, there are some slightly spicy scenes towards the middle that aren't too bad, followed by genuine smut so look out for the warnings since we'll be going in and out of mature content*

Friday night, date night. Or at least it was supposed to be.

Things had been busy lately. Since the loss of the fifth and sixth Man Cave, there had been a lot of baloney about sorting stuff out. That new Man Cave smell was nice but it was so formal and stiff, not the kind of thing you wanted for your home, so Ray and (y/n) had made good on their promise to each other.

Not the new wardrobe thing, although Ray did take his sweet girl out shopping one afternoon and returned carrying fourteen bags just to rival every other man in the mall who was following their wife or girlfriend around like a lovesick puppy. 

Every surface. No joke. That's what he'd whispered in her ear, so that's what they'd done, desecrating their new bed as well as the shower, the guest shower, a few walls, the hall, the couch, the computer's chair, the kitchen and the tubes. Animals. 

Things were back to normal, which meant a quiet night in was needed with the two of them and a bottle of red. No funny business, that's what Ray had said, not because he didn't love fucking her whenever and wherever but because after getting scolded by Schwoz for leaving evidence strewn across the Man Cave, he decided they needed to dial it back a bit.

And that had led to them enjoying a very fine evening in their room, nothing lewd or suggestive, just the two of them curled up on the floor with a blanket next to a TV with a looped video of a fireplace on the monitor. It was a bit corny as they sipped their wine and giggled when it went to their heads, laughing when Ray fed (y/n) a strawberry and booped her nose. 

It was cute and there wasn't stuff. Ray had told Schwoz there wouldn't be and that's how it was staying. That was the plan, anyway.

"You know what this reminds me of?" the man mumbled as he watched his lover swirl the blood-red liquid in her glass before putting it down to focus on his words. He was languishing against a half-moon of pillows, arms stretched along the row and his legs spread in front of him so she could shuffle closer, curl into his side and rest her head against his chest.

"What?" 

"The first time I took you out to dinner..." he said softly and tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear when it fell from her lowering her gaze shyly. It was a bit weird, he knew that this was nothing like the first time he took her out to dinner, whether it be they were "friends" or lovers.

"What? You do know that we weren't sitting on the floor or alone in your bedroom on either occasion," (y/n) giggled, sitting up so she could look at him properly and possibly sneak a sip from the wine glass he raised to his lips, even though she had her own. 

God, her younger self would kill to know what her future held and would've died and gone to heaven at the idea of her best friend pulling her into his lap so their faces were at the same level, his hand on her bare thigh, fingers grazing under her dress innocently as he pecked her lips.

"I know, but it feels the same. But this time, you're not my friend or my girlfriend...you're my wife," Ray grinned and tilted his head forward to catch her lips once more in a slow, sloppy, uncoordinated dance that was enough to set a fire alight in (y/n)'s core. Her hips shifted and tilted to press against his clothed cock, which was barely hard, merely twitching with slight interest as his jeans gave her a glimpse of pleasure. 

They shouldn't--couldn't, she knew that. This was meant to be relaxing, a chance for them to catch up with clothes on but she couldn't help it. Call her crazy after the Christening of The Cave as it had come to be known but she wanted him. She always had and it was that which convinced her. 

Until the taste of wine became sharp and sour on her tongue and she remembered that her past self never had to contend with tipsy Ray.

"Doofus..." she giggled, pulling away from his lips, although she remained firmly on his lap, clit pulsating against the rough coolness of his zipper, "I think someone has had a little too much wine...I'm not your wife yet."

"You should be...you're so pretty and smart. My sweet girl..." he mumbled and dragged his thumb over her bottom lip as he pouted at the thought of yet more waiting. He pouted even more when she took his wine glass from his hand, the one that had been dangerously close to tipping its contents all over them as he lost himself in her honey taste, and placed it next to hers away from the blanket.

No spillages, thank you. Instead, the chilled Pinot was left to go lukewarm as her hands returned to his shoulders to keep him pushed against their pillow next and his eyebrows twitched at the sudden change in the atmosphere. 

He could feel it; the way she looked at him, the way her thighs trembled when his grip slid to her waist and how her weight seemed to shift to press against him at the right angle and make him stiffen. 

"I know what we can do in the meantime," (y/n) smirked and slotted her mouth against his, expecting him to play right into her hands and remap his territory with his typical vigour. Ray loved pinning her down, ravishing her, taking what he wanted, especially when he was given such a tempting invite, so it was a surprise when he pulled away.

"No, sweet girl, what did we say?" the man growled and held her away from him by wrapping a gentle hand around her throat. He didn't squeeze, it just rested there as a reminder that despite his reluctance to spread her out and have his fill, he was very much in charge. However, it didn't stop her from whining and rocking her cunt against him once as a protest.

"But--"

"No buts. I promised Schwoz that we just having a quiet dinner in a room, nothing that will cause him any grief," she huffed at the name of the genius, who right now was the enemy since it was his complaint that meant his free hand was clutching her pelvic bone to keep her still. 

So what if he found her bralette on top of the microwave? It was nothing he hadn't seen before but apparently, finding the matching panties hanging from a monitor in the main room was the final straw. Whoops.

"So? We'll just have to be extra careful next time we fuck in front of the TV," the heroine giggled, drawing another growl from his lips as he casually pressed butterfly kisses to her jaw. There wasn't gonna be the next time, not if he could help it, no matter how irresistible the offer was, but he figured a peck or two couldn't hurt.

"Needy little girl..."

"And besides. What we do in our room isn't up to Schwoz. If he finds something in here, then it's his fault, not mine when I want you to fuck me in our bed, in our bedroom, with the door shut," she whispered hotly into his ear, biting the lobe as she made her point and began grinding her clothed pussy into his lap, where he was getting undeniably hard from her begging.

Her dress was flimsy, thin and the sort of garment he didn't like to see her walk outside in just because she looked as if she could freeze to death at any moment, in any weather. But she didn't intend to walk away, not when she had him to keep her warm and the delightful friction between her legs, which had perfect access in the dress he hated to love. 

But even he couldn't resist bunching her dress around her thighs and pushing it up to her belly button, revealing the lacy panties she'd put on underneath. Fuck him, they were soaked, sliding over his painfully hard cock that throbbed at the sight of her rutting against him--a show only for him. 

He wasn't going back on his word, he was just looking with hooded eyes. Nothing wrong with that. 

"But I'm not gonna fuck you, darlin'. Not here, not tonight. Not after someone else got to see your panties and I had to collect them," the hero told her firmly, swallowing the lump in his throat when she wailed and sagged against him. The look in her eyes suggested mutiny as if he'd betrayed her in the worst way as her hips kept moving--almost madly now that he'd said that.

He'd be a liar if he said the thought of pushing into her wet little hole didn't make him want to cream his pants, he could tell from the mess she was making that she was desperate despite them being very...active over the past few days. But that was the problem, she wasn't there when a mortified Schwoz handed over a pile of freshly laundered underwear whilst wearing rubber gloves with him as the equally mortified recipient. 

"Wha---Ray, that's not fair! I need it--want your cock so bad! Can't you see how wet I am?" she whined, pulling at his shirt like a petulant child who couldn't get her way. Her fingers snaked to cup her mound, where she gathered an embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through the lace on two fingers. Even through his jeans, she could make out the head of his cock straining against the denim and her mouth dropped open when it poked and teased her entrance.

"Which is why you're going to get yourself off like this. Rubbing your pretty clit and begging me for more, so come on. Make yourself cum," Ray challenged, giving her a hard stare, which she shrank under. He wasn't gonna--huh? 

She could do as he asked, with him talking so filthily in her ear, it was easy but what she desired was so close. It didn't make sense that he'd sit there and torture himself like that when it would be so easy to unzip his pants and free his cock, let her bounce on it a little until they were both falling apart. And yet here he was, gazing down at her so cockily as his hands started to pull her hips back and forth.

"But I want to ride and cum on your cock, like I did on the couch--wanna feel you so deep inside--" she muttered squeakily as her hand went inside her panties and began circling her clit in a figure of eight. He seemed pleased with how she carried out his barked orders and fondled her tit through her dress as she did until her stupid mouth got her into trouble for being bratty.

"What did I say, little one? You'll take whatever I do or don't give you and endure. I want you to cum like this," he replied harshly and the hand that had been pinching at her nipples left them alone to smack her ass harshly, causing her cunt to brush against his cock deliciously. A hiss left his lips and as much as he wanted to take care of her, was suddenly, selfishly starting to wish that he could fill her up.

This was yet another part of his game and she loved playing it no matter how frustrated she became when the stimulation on her throbbing bud wasn't enough. Poor thing, she had it too easy, thinking she would get fucked every time her pussy started aching, but he had to teach her that bad girls don't get what they want. 

"Please..." she pleaded, nuzzling her head under his jaw and kissing his pulse point in a bid to get as close to him as possible. Maybe if she reminded him that she was his good girl, his sweet girl, his cute, innocent future wife, he'd give in.

"No..." he growled, refusing to touch her any more than he already was; hands on her ass, tits and waist, lips nibbling at her neck, no more. It added to her frustration when he let groaned lowly in the back of his throat, no doubt kicking his orgasm away as she teetered on the edge of hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't--please!" (y/n) begged. No matter how hard she tried, how quickly she rubbed, how deeply she ground, her release was always out of reach, running away as soon as she chased it and only he had what she needed to grasp it. 

Again, he denied her, helping her movements against him as if that was any help. The only real thing he did was seize the top of her panties between his two fingers and thumb before ripping the elastic. The lace was shredded, useless and able to peel away easily from her figure after that, meaning her cunt was bare and free to ruin his pants as she wished, even if the increased friction was laughable. 

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart. This all for me? This the hole you want fucked?" he asked mockingly as his fingers finally stroked through her velvety slick, causing her mouth to fall open and her pussy to move against them greedily. A fingertip breached her hole and she screamed, hands balling his shirt as one digit slid into her and then another straight away.

Her head nodded weakly as she sobbed at finally having something to clench around but it was nowhere near enough. Not when she was used to stretching around his girth as he pounded the life out of her.

"More--please--need your--cock--"

"How many times, filthy girl? I'm not fucking you right now, you can cum on my hand," Ray tried to remain firm, scissoring his fingers to try and make them feel bigger. Honestly, he didn't care about Schwoz, it was his Man Cave, he'd fuck his fiancée wherever he liked but it provided a good excuse to tease her and drag their date out a little more. 

He loved her like this and had planned to woo her, bed her, make love to her during the evening, forgetting his promise to Schwoz. Although, he didn't expect to be quite like this.

"But--but you could fuck me, fuck my pussy...anywhere," his fingers stilled inside her and his eyes met hers with a steely gaze, causing her to carry on with needy confidence, "you said you would and you still haven't. Captain, why haven't you fucked my ass yet?"

The effect was instantaneous and better than she could have ever imagined. Ray's hand was ripped from her cunt and she whined at that, only to whimper when he roared and pushed her to the blanket roughly. Within seconds, he was swiftly crawling up her body whilst simultaneously fumbling to free his weeping member, which was straining after that suggestion.

That had been pushed to the back of their minds, on the table but ignored for now since they'd never had enough time to do it safely and properly but that didn't mean he wasn't desperate to try it. He still wanted to see her every hole claimed, sated and owned by him, so her teasing rose the beast within him that wanted her on all fours for him to see.

"You're so bad--bad fucking girl. My girl," he grumbled in her ear as she braced herself on her hands and knees, skirt flicked over her ass, and looked back to see his perfect, glorious cock pulled from his zipper. He was leaking, an angry-red colour and bobbing deliciously as he hissed from the cool air; it was clear that he couldn't be bothered to properly take off their clothing, not after she'd said that.

"I'm gonna fuck this pussy so hard and then, if you're lucky, I might start practising stretching this hole out, ready for my--" Ray rambled, letting himself get lost in the fantasy as his head pressed against her entrance and gently began to break her open. The burn was heavenly and (y/n) groaned throatily at the relief it provided, thinking they were the only people in the world at that moment.

That is until she looked up and saw through blurry eyes how the door handle was turning. 

With a squeal, she instinctively crawled forward and away from Ray, snatching a blanket from the pile next to their nibbled-at dinner and draped it across her lap quicker than her lover could blink or keep hold of her.

"What the fuc--" he snarled, outraged and confused that she'd moved away at such a crucial moment when he was half-cocked and dying to slip inside her walls. Seeing nothing but red, he thought that she was playing some devilish game and so, he went to grab her, intent on spanking her ass until it was red and sore and in need of her superpower to make it better. But then he saw it too.

The doorknob had made a half-rotation and he only had a fraction of a second to yank a cushion from next to her head and press it into his crotch when the door was pushed open by the one person Ray did not want to see at that moment. 

They'd fallen against the pillows, panting, sweaty and trying to appear as if they'd merely been sipping wine and not on the verge of fucking, when Jasper entered the room, staring at his phone and unaware as to what he'd walked in on. 

Of course, it was him.

"J-Jasper, what are you doing in our bedroom?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, trying to fan her warm cheeks in a subtle way that wasn't subtle at all. Anyone with half a brain could realise what had been going on just by how warm and close the air was, how warm and close they were, if they only took a minute to observe. 

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Ray asked darkly, glaring at the boy as he felt his cock soften and the mood vanish. He was still desperate, raring to go and would give anything to slide into his sweet girl had he not rudely interrupted. 

"Oh, uh, yeah...you said that you were gonna join me and Henry tonight, remember?" the boy said, looking up from his phone to see nothing out of the ordinary.

It was damn lucky that Jasper only had a quarter of a brain, otherwise, they'd have a lot of explaining to do with very red faces. But he was oblivious to their sticky foreheads and stiff shoulders, plus the way Ray refused to move the cushion from his pants as he thought about the boy's words.

"Oh...yeah. That," he mumbled, sending an apologetic glace to his puzzled lover, who hadn't heard of this arrangement before. What a fool Ray was; he'd agreed to the boys' night with the teens since they rarely had any guy time. So, tonight they were gonna be reckless, dumb and crazy, keeping their youth alive. And it seemed that he'd double-booked the date too. Oh, hell.

"What? Look, Jasper, I'm sorry but Ray's gonna have to miss whatever you've planned 'cause we've still got half a bottle to finish as well as something else, so--" she laughed nervously, feeling highly uncomfortable that her dearest Curly was in the room when she was aching on the inside. 

She didn't care about whatever they'd planned, she thought Ray would choose her over a stupid night playing video games and eating candy. How wrong she was.

"So, just gimme a minute. I'll be right there," Ray told Jasper, gulping to keep his voice steady as (y/n) looked at him with shocked, wide eyes and an open mouth. The boy grinned and walked off, calling to Henry down the hall to get the popsicles from the freezer, leaving the woman to gawk in silence as they breathed again.

"Wh--what? You can't leave me here!" she gasped as she relaxed into the blanket and expected Ray to do the same, but no. When he said he'd be right there, he meant it and was already tucking himself away and doing up his zipper as she laid there, still wet and needy. 

He looked sorry, apologetic and remorseful but even so, that didn't stop him from standing up to grab a moist napkin from their dinner table to dab away any embarrassing stains and freshen himself up. 

"Precious girl, this is my fault. We arranged this night ages ago and I can't let Henry down...or the other one," Ray told her gently as he finished scrubbing himself and threw the napkin onto the tray again. She scoffed as he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his tousled locks, smiling softly as she scowled and stamped her foot against the carpet. It was childish but she was distraught.

"But you can't leave me here without fucking me first..." the heroine muttered and grabbed the leftover wine to take a large swig--much-needed fortification to quench the blaze inside of her. The burn in her throat was unpleasant and made her eyes water but she hid the discomfort well, welcoming it to mask her frustration. How could he walk away? Was he not burning up as she was?

"I promise I'll fuck you later, yeah? Later, I swear," he insisted, deeming his appearance suitable enough to show a couple of teenagers and stepping away from the mirror. His smile met her glare and he leaned down to kiss her goodbye, probably the last one of the night since they were set to pull an all-nighter. However, (y/n) couldn't help but linger and try to swipe his tongue into his mouth--a play to entice him back that ultimately failed.

"Later. I'm holding you to that," she said to him firmly as he pulled away before his semi could return at full force. He couldn't deny that he still wanted her and was equally frustrated but he had to hide it well for the kids. They didn't need to see that.

"Later," he repeated and with one final peck on her forehead, he swept out of the room, leaving her a trembling mess in their rudimentary picnic spot. She'd finish herself off to the roaring of the fake fire but it wasn't enough. It could never be and she couldn't help but wonder.

Was Jasper an idiot or was he just being purposefully annoying?

*SAFETY AT LAST. Not my best but we've more yet to come, so stay tuned my fellow sinners--Onwards with the episode!*

~Many long hours later~

Annoying. Very annoying. They all were so damn annoying. One, two and three.

(y/n) had slept alone that night, had gone to bed in a frightful mood and all because of their stupid, ridiculous, testosterone-fuelled party. And it was a party—a big one. 

At one point, she'd woken up at three-thirty to go pee when she heard their rowdy voices in the main room, shouting something about Henry finishing an entire can of soda in eight seconds. Full sugar, no doubt, that's what they ran off for the past god knows how long. The binge hadn't stopped when the sun rose, not when their sugar highs nosedived and not when Charlotte came to work at nine to see a very grumpy woman sitting in the chaos as she'd tried to eat breakfast. 

For the life of her, Charlotte couldn't work out why the heroine was so grumpy and tetchy, it wasn't like her at all but in the end, she'd put her snide remarks and long sighs down to her being tired and moody from Ray's antics. 

Hell, she'd only been there five minutes and she was tired from their conga line, so to escape from the tornado of pizza and smelly armpits, the girls had legged it to the safety of a cafe for the morning, hoping that by the time they'd finished gossiping and sipping cappuccinos, they'd be sleeping it off on the floor or couch. That was so naive of them.

It's how they'd ended up where they were now; one of the boys, assisting in something bovine and moronic frolic that required more players than they had. What the hell even was a haircut chain?

"How's it lookin', Henry?" Jasper asked his friend as the boy stood behind him. This was their big idea; they each stand behind one another with lasers--very dangerous, highly unpredictable lasers--so that they could give each other haircuts. Yeah, Charlotte and (y/n) didn't understand either.

"Lookin' gooood!" Henry replied with a smirk as he lightly trimmed Jasper's hair so it was a gradual fade and not a severe cut. The lasers were at their weakest setting, which meant they were being irresponsibly complacent since they merely saw it as a free haircut, nothing more. "How's it lookin', Ray?"

"Lookin' ooooookay!" the man said happily as he zapped at the stray hairs on his sidekick with an experienced hand. Behind him, his sweet girl and Charlotte were doing the same to him, although the woman needed to stand on a ladder held steady by the girl to match his tall stature. She was still thrumming on the inside, she could feel it when she walked and could see it in his gaze when they'd come home but still, the wait went on. 

"How's it lookin', sweet girl? Charlotte?"

"We do not know what we're doing, doofus," she replied dryly, squinting to ensure that she was cutting in a straight line. She'd never cut her hair let alone someone else's and as it happened, she was quite fond of Ray's floppy floof. She didn't want to see it ruined so she was trying her best to not mess it up, but it was hard when she and Charlotte kept swapping to take turns on the ladder.

"What?!" Ray suddenly exclaimed and raised a hand to shield his brown locks as they ceased lasering. His hair was practically sacred, one of Captain Man's best features, to cut it without some skill was sacrilege. "Why would you mess with the Man Mane if you don't know what you're doing?"

"You told us it didn't matter!" Charlotte argued, wondering why he was being so crabby too. She didn't know if the happy couple were in the middle of a domestic or what but fifteen hours of sugar and soda had not helped the man, who was getting to be strangely antsy.

"When did I say that?" Ray asked in an innocent tone, although he remembered the precise moment quite well.

"Ten minutes ago, you doofus? Remember? When we walked out of the elevator and found you guys dancing around chanting, haircut chain, haircut chain, haircut chain!" the heroine refrained from punching his shoulder, knowing that if she did, the contact might make her spontaneously combust. The coffee was still fresh on her tongue as well as the fluttering from the butterflies after seeing him again...

~

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" Ray, Henry and Jasper chanted as they paraded around the Man Cave, waiting for the return of the girls.

They could hear the elevator coming down and were eagerly anticipating getting them to join, so it was quite the surprise for the two friends to step into the main room and see them so excited. As painful as it was to see them still so energetic, it warmed (y/n)'s heart to see her doofus again after four hours and three iced hazelnut lattes later; maybe it was her, but his gaze seemed ravenous for a split second before his cheerful grin resumed. 

"Hey! We're gonna cut each other's hair!" Henry exclaimed, not caring if they were still holding their final takeout cups of Jet Brew. He was on his fifteenth popsicle, caring wasn't an option anymore.

"With lasers!" Jasper shrieked and (y/n) shared a look with Charlotte when his breath practically tore their faces off, Maybe leaving them unsupervised was a bad idea, but damn, they'd needed that coffee to pull through whatever this was.

"You in?!" Henry offered with a determined glint in his eyes that they didn't share. 

"I do not know how to give a haircut with a laser."

"Yeah, me neither," they told him, wanting to make sure that they were aware that if they went near their beloved styles, there could be irreversible consequences. But as always, Ray wasn't a responsible adult and when his lover turned to look at him with fleeting eyes, he ignored any warning since it put a dampener on his spirits.

"Doesn't matter!" Well, he was the one who said it. That counted as permission in their eyes, the terms and conditions that hadn't been read but regardless, they'd accepted them. 

"Then, okay..."

"I still say this is a bad idea," (y/n) muttered and took a long sip from her latte, letting its familiar milkiness take her back to her younger days. She knew that the haircuts were gonna be a disaster just from the way the chanting started up again, although this time, lasers were fired at the ceiling.

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" the boys shouted, firing laser after laser at the rock face above their heads. Ray only stopped to kiss his sweet girl after hours of not seeing her properly but when she went to cup his face and linger, he pulled away to start dancing with his fellow gibbons. 

You'd think he'd be a little more clingy considering that he hadn't crawled into bed with her that night and had been sorely missed by his sweet girl but that would come later, once the sugar tap had been turned off. The (y/n) withdrawal symptoms would come back with full force and so would his bone-crushing hugs and need to kiss her frequently - amongst other things. 

~

"That didn't happen," Henry shook his head and peeled his eyes away from where he was lasering to look back at the girls. He was tired, sluggish and fuzzy so they didn't believe him, even if it was three against two.

"Yes, it did!"

"Who are you going to believe, Charlotte? Your own flawed memory or three guys who've been up all night playing video games and eating popsicles?" Ray asked and pursed his lips as he recalled the long night he'd just experienced. 

Truth be told, he was getting a little too old for that kind of thing and looking at the pile of popsicle sticks on the table, he knew he'd have acid reflux at some point--it was just one of those things. Getting a good night's sleep after finishing his still unfinished business with his sweet girl sounded much better, but he was way too proud to admit that. 

"Yeah, that's not a tough choice, you morons," (y/n) said with a scoff, although her point was marred slightly when she leaned forward on the ladder to press a kiss to the nape of Ray's neck. She enjoyed watching him shiver and hoped that he was reminded about what his fun night had cost, something that highly amused Charlotte as she stopped the ladder from tipping.

"Yeah, exactly. Popsicle boys!" the kid squeaked immaturely and in a move that somewhat disturbed the insulted girls, wiggled his fingers against Ray's as they made a stupid sound. The hero might've been shaking from the inrush of cold air after his lover had her lips on him but he didn't miss a beat, unlike Henry, who missed an awful lot since his focus was elsewhere.

"You might wanna look where you're lasering," Charlotte advised. She wasn't the one on a platform like (y/n) but even from her position, she had an excellent view of Henry's lack of movement, meaning she could see how he'd been going over the same spot on Jasper's head for the past three minutes. It kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for. 

"You better look where (y/n)'s lasering!--ah!" he retorted cockily, thinking that she was simply buying into the playful banter until his gaze wandered back to his work to see that what was once a masterpiece was now ruined. 

From his ear downwards, Jasper's hair was gone; it kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for, meaning a horrified, squeaky gasp fell from Henry's lips. 

"What was that?" Jasper asked nervously as he felt the gentle heat on his head stop and a draft brush against his skin. It didn't feel like any other haircut he'd had given how cold everything felt and it was like he could sense their stares burning into the back of his head as if something had gone wrong. 

"Uh...nothing," Henry stammered, wondering how he was gonna fix the mistake if there was no hair left to work with when Schwoz came through the secret door, minding his own business and carrying a picnic basket. 

"No, no, no, you tiny screamed," Jasper tried to bring his focus back, knowing that his friend only screeched like that when something was wrong.

"Uh, dude, it was nothing--Hey, Schwoz! Random question...do you have anything that regrows hair?"

"What?!" The boy's hand flew to the back of his head as he heard the not-so-subtle question and even he understood that Henry was trying to say that he'd screwed up the haircut chain. The genius was so conveniently in the room now and so, Henry thought that he'd have a solution since that was his expertise and helpfully, he did. 

"Don't worry, I got something," Schwoz reassured them, seeing the utter panic on Jasper's face and the guilt on Henry's, so he pulled a tube from his pocket and tossed it to the shaved kid, "this hair-growing cream works great. I've been using it on the sides and back of my head for years."

"Any instructions for this stuff?" Jasper questioned as he looked at the tube dubiously. It didn't have any legible writing on it and Schwoz was already off out somewhere, so it didn't give him the best feeling, even if Schwoz's hair (or what was left of it) was thick and luscious. 

"Oh, yeah. Lots of 'em! But I don't have time to tell you right now because I'm late for my dinner with Bigfoot," Schwoz replied and lifted the basket over his head so he could disappear up the tube and not have to worry about Jasper and his lack of hair problem. But he couldn't leave, not after dropping a bomb like that--something about Bigfoot?

"Whaaaaat?"

"Hang on..."

"Wait, stop, stop, stop!" the remaining five rambled, focusing on the genius who rolled his eyes at their confused expressions and raised the tube again. He was getting very late and didn't have time for any questions, even if they now had a million of them. 

"What?"

"Bigfoot?!" Ray repeated as he held out a hand for (y/n) to steady herself coming off the ladder. Back on solid ground, she held onto his doofus' hand as they huddled together to grill Schwoz on how he could be friends with a mythical, rampaging thing in the woods and not tell them. They must've heard him wrong, there was no way that it was the Bigfoot. 

"Like, Bigfoot Bigfoot?"

"Yah." Or not. Schwoz wasn't laughing or holding in giggles, he was being deadly serious about meeting up with the hulking creature, something that they just couldn't believe since it was so outlandish. 

"The Bigfoot?" Jasper questioned, leaving his smooth nape alone for a minute since this had piqued his interest. Bigfoot...and people thought he was strange. 

"Like, the made-up creature who lives in the woods?" (y/n) asked, wanting to clarify that they were definitely talking about the thing that supposedly scared campers and hikers. She often prided herself on being quite open-minded, she was an engineer after all, but like the others, she was thinking one thing; Schwoz had either been sniffing glue or watching too much of the conspiracy channel again. 

"He's not made up, he dated my sister," the small replied, which both shocked them and made a lot of sense at the same time. They could get over that Bigfoot existed, but Winnie getting a date? Jeez, the poor guy probably had to give her bags of carrots instead of bunches of flowers.

"Your sister dated Bigfoot?!"

"Yeah, it didn't work out between them, he wanted kids, she didn't but I always thought he was a chill hang," Schwoz shrugged, remembering all of the drama that always ensued when a couple broke up and the drama that ensued afterwards when he and Biggie remained friends. He was glad that his favourite couple would never go through that, it's why he liked living with them despite the ickiness and incidents--no chance of it ending, not ever. 

"Can we go with you?" Henry requested eagerly. It's not that he was nosy, rather, he wanted to see if Schwoz was lying or not. Anyone would jump at a chance of seeing Bigfoot in the flesh and the others had the same mindset.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Yes, yes, please?!"

"Come on!" they clapped their hands excitedly and looked at him expectantly, which put Schwoz in an awkward position. It's not like he had anything to hide but he thought it would be awkward having all of his friends clashing, after all, there were gonna be a lot of personalities clashing. 

"I don't like to mix my work friends with my wood friends--" he tried to let them down gently, ignoring their pleading eyes and hopeful grins because he felt guilty enough. It was impossible though, he truly was outnumbered.

"Oh, come on, Schwoz! Just let us come!"

"Yeah, we can all be friends together!" Charlotte and (y/n) begged together, using their best, fluttering eyelashes and doe-like eyes to win him over--and it worked. They ground Schwoz down all too easily because he wouldn't want to make them cry, now would he? That would just be cruel. 

"Fine, let's go to dinner with Bigfoot--" the handyman conceded with a sigh to the roaring cheers of his friends, who applauded, cheered and fist-pumped their success in an almost hedonistic way that undermined Schwoz's kindness. He wanted them on their best behaviour, not screaming or shouting or being weird, Bigfoot was a very sophisticated guy. "--but don't embarrass me!"

They calmed down at that and although still buzzing with excitement, the group moved to enter the elevator, Ray happily tugging (y/n) along with a spring in his step. He refused to let go of her hand because it was the only thing keeping him cool at that moment, what with the adrenaline still streaming through his blood and the prospect of meeting a literal legend wasn't helping, neither was the sudden, unexpected alarm.

"Emergency alert!" Charlotte exclaimed as everyone looked back at the computer and saw the familiar red flash of the beacon. Right, they were technically supposed to be working right now and an impromptu trip to the woods, something that would take a couple of hours just to get there, wasn't gonna stop them from continuously coming in. 

Captain Man couldn't take time off and neither could his sidekicks and Ray was aware of that, highly so; it was just a shame that he didn't care. Shielding his eyes from the others in a not-so-noticeable way, he pulled his laser controller from his pocket and fired a single shot at the beacon, burning a hole straight through the plastic, thus ending the call, at least so that they didn't have to hear or worry about it.

"Raymond!" (y/n) whined and gave him a stern look for what he'd just done. She didn't feel right leaving whichever poor soul to suffer simply because they were curious and leaving something a mess made her stressed all the more. It made her itch in a way, knowing that it would be lying and waiting to be fixed until they came back so she was ready to scold him and Ray was braced for that. Until--

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Henry began chanting, his booming volume swallowing whatever noise came from (y/n)'s mouth. He'd known the couple long enough to sense when they were about to argue, whether it be petty or explosive, and he did his best to stop it, which worked rather well well when Jasper and Charlotte joined as Ray fleetingly kissed his sweet girl quiet and chanted too. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Strange. They thought he would've kissed her for longer. What was with those too?

~Two hours later, in the woods~

A van journey later and the group were still chanting as they approached a clearing in the woods, one where Schwoz had said was his and Bigfoot's supposed meeting place. 

Despite the long, bumpy journey, one that was still palpably tense thanks to Ray, (y/n) and whatever was going on between them, the anticipation for meeting the mythical creature was still high and the teens had been poking Schwoz since the second stop light for more information. What did he eat? Normal food. Where was he from? Swellview, duh. What was his favourite colour? What kind of question was that?

It went on and on but thankfully, it meant not much attention was paid to the front of the van, where the couple had been strangely silent, uneasy and not at all handsy--the most worrying thing. Ray didn't put his hand on (y/n)'s thigh like she was hoping, the thing he always did when he drove since the pillowy flesh was just asking for his fingertips to feel it, but that night, he was worried that the call was asking for something else and he didn't want to listen to it. Not yet, anyway. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" The teens chanted relentlessly as they followed Schwoz through the thick foliage, walking for a few minutes to disappear into the night that had fallen during their drive over. Bigfoot was a secretive guy and preferred to not be seen by others, which was understandable, so they carried on in single-file, Schwoz first, the kids in the middle and Ray and (y/n) walking hand-in-hand to bring up the rear.

They were trailing slightly, keeping up but going at their own pace as Ray's stride was much longer than (y/n)'s and he wanted her comfort more than anything, so it was her setting the speed. It was fine, Schwoz had everything under control at the front and they were nearly there, or so he said, so the only problem Ray was experiencing was the one in front of him. The perfect view of his sweet girl's ass as she walked--all he could do was stay back and try not to stare, which was easier said than done.

"Sweet girl?" He grumbled, surprising himself with how animalistic he sounded, akin to something they might find in those very woods, so it was no wonder that (y/n) whipped around immediately, slowing down to a mere ambling pace as she faced her dark-eyed doofus to see what was wrong. 

"Yeah?" she asked, her saccharine voice full of innocence that made Ray's abs tense. He didn't know what he was gonna say at first, he just wanted to call her name but seeing her looking at him like a lamb in front of a wolf made his next actions undeniable. He let go of her hand to grasp her wrist instead and it was damn lucky that the gasp she released when he roughly pressed her against the nearest tree wasn't heard by the others.

Henry, Charlotte and Jasper carried on merrily, not noticing that there were two missing members in their party as Ray pinned his precious girl against the scraping bark and kept her hands clasped together and above her head. 

In the moonlight, she looked so ravishing as his eyes raked down her quivering body and he could see the questioning look in her eye, a part of her wondering why he was picking his moment now. However, he could also see how she wasn't all that innocent either, pupils dilating the minute one hand went from her waist to brush between her thighs, touching nothing but the soft skin there. 

There she was, his girl, his darling lover, his future wife, waiting for his next move, panting lightly in the darkness as they were left behind and he knew that he'd been a fool to leave her for a few popsicles and to play Mario Kart, he'd been a fool for thinking he could last a whole day without her. 

"Doofus, what--"

"The second we are alone again, little girl..." he whispered in her ear, one hand cradling her jaw as the other stayed with hers against the tree. It was his promise to her and it could be left unspoken, she didn't need an explanation. They were pushing their luck as it was, staying behind as the others marched on and as tempting as it was to throw caution to the wind and feel those thighs around his waist because lord knows that he did not give a fuck, she did. 

Jasper's earlier faux pas was but a forewarning in her mind and it would not happen again, not two nights in a row, so as quick as her back had met with the harsh bark, he pulled away, taking one hand with him. 

The dazzling rush of it all had her stumbling to catch up with his long legs as he marched towards the clearing, following the voices before they were missed or he changed his mind and she had no choice but to jog behind her doofus. Her hot, moody, incredibly well-endowed doofus. 

Avoiding a tree root and a mysterious puddle of green mush, the couple made it to the back of the group again, not that anyone had noticed their slight delay. The only noticeable thing was how their breathing had quickened from the rush, although in (y/n)'s case it was something else. Paired with her red cheeks, it was kinda obvious, but the shadows hid it well and so did hiding behind Ray's shoulder. 

"Hey! That hair-growing cream worked great."

"Yeah, it looks gooooood, dude," Henry complimented Jasper when Charlotte noticed that unlike two hours previously, Jasper's hair was completely back to normal. You'd never guess that he'd had the majority of it lasered off and he was quite happy with the results of Schwoz's cream, save for one little thing. 

"Oh, nice...this worries me a little," he smiled but it was nervous and they knew why when he raised his hands to show them that not only did the cream work on scalps, it also worked on fingers and palms. Baby hairs had begun to sprout from his flesh and he was getting quite furry, which was disturbing. Really disturbing. 

"You have to wear a glove when you apply it. That's part of the instructions!" Schwoz exclaimed as the others grimaced, (y/n) burying her nose into the jacket she'd stolen from Ray.

Being the silly-billy she was, she'd only realised how cold it was out until they were well past the city's border and in the sticks, so her ever-adoring fiancé had swooped in and bundled her up in one of his huge jackets that had been slung on the backseat of the Man Van. It was huge, enough to keep her warm even in a dress and it was only made better by his cologne following her around. 

"You didn't tell me any instructions," Jasper argued as he coped with his hairy hands. He'd just assumed that the cream worked on heads, not skin in general, which was kinda bad since he'd been touching his head, face, ears and other places since using it. 

"Okay, step one--don't itch your ears!" Schwoz said when he saw the boy rubbing and searching his earholes. That would only mean more cream transfer, even if it was a little late to be giving out advice. 

"Soooo...Schwoz, where's Bigfoot?" Henry asked as Jasper stomped off to try and deal with his new hair problem. This was the meeting place but no one could see any imaginary animals or beings, meaning the kid was starting to doubt if this guy was real or not and whether Schwoz had pulled the best prank of all time. 

"Yeah, man. We've been walking around for four whole minutes. I'm starting to think you don't really know Bigfoot," Ray added, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his sweet girl huddled to his side to try and keep the cold away. He wasn't the world's most patient man but four minutes traipsing around some bushes at night wasn't his idea of fun and he was waiting on a promise for what was. 

"Relax, let me just call him--" Schwoz told him gently and the man went back to trying to keep (y/n) warm. He knew that dress was both angelic and evil, but at least he could put his arm around her, which was good for when Schwoz ignored his phoned and abruptly summoned his friend. "BIGFOOOOOOOOT!!!"

"He's on his way," he told them, not thinking a thing of his sudden, echoing voice in the dead of night nor how he just spooked the heebie-jeebies out of them. Biggie wasn't much of a phone guy anyway. 

"If you were just gonna scream his name, then why'd you pull out your phone?" (y/n) asked as she snuggled into the cosy fuzziness of Ray's jacket. She'd seen the genius take his phone from his pocket when she was ogling her lover, which is why his bellowing had been so unexpected. 

"So I could get a picture of you guys when Bigfoot shows up," Schwoz replied in a tender voice but he had that mischievous glint in his eye like he had something up his sleeve. His phone was pointing at them and open on the camera app, so he was ready to capture their shocked, terrified expressions whenever he needed a good laugh, not that they knew that. 

"You mean if he shows up," Henry scoffed sceptically, shoulder-to-shoulder with his friends as they waited, "we've been here for five whole minutes now. I'm starting to think you don't actually know hi--"

Henry never got to finish his mini-rant. As he rambled on at the smirking genius, a big, hairy lump dropped from the overhanging willows to land in front of them, bellowing a ferocious roar. The sight of this snarling furball caused the teens and couple to shriek in terror, a moment that Schwoz swiftly captured on his phone as (y/n) practically leapt on Ray, who had his jacket clutched by Henry, flanked by Jasper cowering behind Charlotte.

But the howl eventually petered out and the beast put its arms down in a friendly slouch, meaning the group eventually stopped screaming too. Bigfoot just stood there and he wasn't quite what they were expecting as hands let go of jackets and men put down their sweet girls; he was tall and hairy with thick, sharp nails, that was a given, but apart from that, he was normal.

Well, nearly normal--he was placid with an easy-going stance, nothing like the monster some people often described him as. 

"You guys, Bigfoot is real!" Henry exclaimed as they all stood there, in awe of the living legend in front of them, who wasn't a mutant or animal like on the TV, he was just a normal guy with a lot of hair. 

"Real handsome!" Bigfoot quipped, putting them all at ease with his small joke. If he was comfortable with himself then they had no reason to fear him, especially when he laughed in that resonating baritone of his. "It's nice to meet you..."

"So...uh, this is Hen--" Schwoz started to introduce everyone, not wanting things to be awkward since he didn't have many friends and he didn't want to lose any, but Bigfoot beat him to the chase. 

"Oh, I know this guy. Henry Hart AKA Kid Danger? Feels gooooood!" The hairy man chuckled, much to Henry's excitement. 

"Bigfoot knows my thing!" The ecstatic kid hissed to the others. He thought it was wild that Bigfoot of all people knew who he was and had intimate knowledge of his personality, even his secret identity. He didn't seem to be the kinda guy to leak stuff like that, after all, Schwoz was smart enough to not be all pally with grasses, so no one worried. 

"'Course I do. Scheoz talks about you guys all the time," he revealed, making the small man blush since no one knew about his pride from working the Man Cave. 

"What?" Jasper tilted his head, stunned that Schwoz could be so sneaky and that Bigfoot knew about their crazy gang. 

"Yeah. You must be Charlotte," Bigfoot nodded, turning to the girl whose cheeks heated up when he started being all charming, "Schwoz tells me you're even smarter than he is."

"Whaaaaaat?... It's true, though," she grinned, blushing from the sentiment of Schwoz hyping her up to his other friends but it was the truth. The Man Cave would be lost without her skill with the computer and general sensibility, so it was nice to know that it was noted and appreciated.

"Oh--Jasper!"

"Yeah!" The boy nodded with a smile as Bigfoot moved on, looking at him next and punching out at him lightly in playful banter. Honestly, this guy was so cool and Jasper liked that he had also been included when he did the least out of the three teens.

"J-Dowg!"

"B-Foot!" They bantered and bumped fists as Schwoz kept snapping pictures, wanting to remember every moment of his friends becoming friends. Maybe they'd be able to hang out together as a gang and he'd be surrounded by everyone he loved--maybe a tad premature but a nice thought as they all got along so well.

"How's that girl with all the allergies?" Bigfoot asked, referring to Patina, the one Jasper took to Cactus Con and accidentally plunged into an anaphylactic fit. 

Ouch, a touchy subject in more ways than one so no one ever mentioned what had happened with her, not that Jasper ever let it bother him. 

"Oh yeah, she ghosted me! I keep texting her but she never responds!" He shrugged, tugging at (y/n)'s heartstrings as he smiled with the others but she remembered those weeks all too well. Jasper sat on the couch, texting and texting, waiting for an answer that never came until he had no choice but to move on with a sad acknowledgement for a romance that had gone so far only to be left to die. She never liked that girl. 

Speaking of moving on...

"Oh, and well, I know who this beauty is! (y/n), the sweetest girl in the world as Schwoz put it! Lovely to meet you, I know all about your engineering and how you keep the place running--oh, and of course, Miss Danger! How could I forget?" (y/n) was practically a tomato as Bigfoot moved on and grinned at her next. 

He extended his hand and she thought he was going for a handshake when he warmly pulled her in for a hug, a very soft hug as his woolly body helped her forget about the cold as he gushed about her many talents and the way the Man Cave would crash and burn without her expertise. Pulling away, her face was beaming as they crowded around Schwoz with the other three to look at the pictures and that only left Ray on the outside. 

The man loudly cleared his throat as they cooed over the funny and heartwarming photos, looking up to see him still standing there. Right, the main man as it were, the boss, the head honcho, they couldn't forget him, after all, he'd never let them. 

"And, uh, last but certainly not least..." Ray grinned, awkwardly turning to Bigfoot who removed his arm from his darling girl's shoulders and looked at him--with a blank stare like what you'd give if you were giving a stranger. Oh, lord.

"Hey..." Biggie greeted slowly, which didn't fill the hero with confidence but still, he smiled back, encouraged by (y/n), who was edged closer to them as much as she could without passing the furball, "there he is..."

"There I am!"

"This guy!" They interacted with a definite tension that made the teens frown because it was so weird that Bigfoot had been so welcoming and friendly with them, knowing specific details about their lives and personalities, only for him to have no idea who Ray was. 

"You must be, uh... Henry's dad?" The hairy man suggested, trying to find a possible identity for the mystery man that his friend had never described, but it only served to insult Ray. That was nowhere near accurate and kinda insulting since he thought he looked too young to be any teenager's dad. Come on, he wasn't even married yet. 

"Henry's dad? Are you--are you kidding me?"

"Are you...uh, Jasper's dad?" he moved on, a hint of desperation as (y/n) facepalmed in the background, itching to get to her doofus' side before his emotions started leaking but she knew how it would look if she was constantly clinging to his side. So, no matter how badly this was going, she stood still and hoped that Ray didn't do anything stupid after being called the weird kid's father. 

"Uh, I'm-I'm Ray AKA Captain Man AKA (y/n)'s fiancée!" the hero said, hoping that a few of his basic titles would spark some recognition in the legend's mind. 

Bigfoot looked genuinely surprised to hear about another superhero living with Schwoz since he didn't have a TV and never ventured into the city; he had to learn stuff by ear and when he looked back at the mention of the sweet girl, he saw her raise her left hand and point to the ring that sparkled in the starlight. Well, that confirmed it, weird how he never knew. 

"Oh, Schwoz never mentioned you! Are you new to the Schwoz Cave?" He asked politely, seeing nothing wrong with his question, so he didn't understand why the man's face erupted into anger as the woman and kids released shocked giggles behind him. Oh, that little fibre, what had he been saying?

"The Schwoz Cave?!" Ray snapped and his furious gaze landed on Schwoz, who smirked bashfully and adverted everyone's gaze. He was ashamed but also unapologetic because he loved the idea of being a superhero and messing with Ray's head, even if it was a tangled web of lies that he was now stuck in. 

"Listen, listen--" Bigfoot put a furry hand on Ray's chest to keep him from tackling Schwoz and instead, diverted their attention before things got out of hand, "I found this great campsite just past the creek. Let's all go down there and have dinner to get to know each other better.

"Yeah."

"All right, let's go," the teens nodded enthusiastically at the sound of food and a pretty area to sit, so they quickly followed after their host, who knew the way like the back of his paw--hand. Schwoz was right behind them, giggling mischievously to himself as he passed Ray, who stood like a statue with a stony expression engraved on his face. He was visibly livid from being unmentioned and the shoulder pats that the kids gave him only soured the mood. 

"That's a tough one, daddy," Henry commented jokingly as he walked past, not knowing that it was possibly the worst thing he could've said to the man, who'd been waiting all day and all night for that kind of talk. He was damn near breaking point and (y/n) knew that as she was the last to move. 

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go eat," she whispered, stepping in front of him and smiling in the face of his grim expression. She gently reached for his hand, which unclenched when her fingers slid over his to let her in and without hesitation, Ray allowed her to grasp it. Sighing when she stroked his cheek, he allowed her to tug him towards the campsite, his heart unwilling to watch her walk away despite how sluggish his plodding feet were. 

They might have liked Bigfoot but he wasn't so keen and neither was he impressed with that good-for-nothing, low-down, double-crossing sneak, Schwoz. He'd be having words with him but for now, he was willing to indulge in one thing - his sweet girl. If the hairball didn't know who he was now, he surely would by the end of the night if it was the last thing he did. 

Her fiancé, her lover, her doofus. Always. 

Up ahead, they could hear a slight commotion since they were going quite slowly, anything so Ray could sulk in peace a little longer and cheer himself up with a little butt-staring. No doubt the amazing Bigfoot was doing something amazing with his amazing dinner because he was amazing. 

"Let's eat!"

Yeah, right, he could've done that but to avoid a scene, Ray stayed silent and kicked at the dirt as they came to another, smaller clearing, complete with rocks and stumps for rudimentary stools, a pre-lit campfire and some coolers left by the campers he scared away, one of whom Henry could swear looked like Mitch Bilsky but as he looked at the cosy spot, he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

Soon, they were huddled around the fire, Charlotte sat with Bigfoot on a fallen tree trunk, Henry with Schwoz, Jasper on his own, and then, Ray on a rock with (y/n) perched happily on his knee. Their new friend had raised his eyebrows at that, thinking they were very open about being so touchy and...kissy but the others assured him that it was normal and separating them would only lead to trouble now that the man was calmly nuzzling into her neck and hair. 

So, soon, the snacks were handed out and the stories started. Bigfoot lead them since he was the fascinating one and even Ray was able to tame his jealousy and listen as he nibbled a hotdog, offering it to his lover occasionally, another thing that they assured the legend was normal for them. 

"Sometimes, I just want to sneak into town to get that good salsa but people would see me and they'd either want a selfie or they'd try and kill me," Bigfoot sighed as everyone listened intently to how hard it was being so famous yet hated. Sure, he was legendary but most would kill to be the ones to capture Bigfoot or put the real-life Bigfoot in a zoo, and that was just horrible considering that he was such a sweet man. 

"And I hear that!" Ray piped up as (y/n) bit into their hotdog and he tightened the arm around her waist. He wasn't hated but he knew the price of popularity and it was nice to see him finally making friends, even if it was slightly self-centred, "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed."

"Appreciate your sympathy, Ron," the behemoth gave him a polite smile and he was gracious enough to not mention the way they were snuggling like they were the only ones in the forest. All Bigfoot concentrated on was his story and the way Charlotte was braiding his fur, which was a shame because his blatant forgetting of Ray's name touched a sore spot for the egocentric man.

"Ray. It's...it's Ray," he corrected with a smile that was akin to a snarl If it wasn't for his sweet girl playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, he would've pounced and taken the hairy buffoon on himself. Was he that forgettable or had Scwhoz properly swindled him for once?

"Oh, I'm so sorry--Captain Ray!" Bigfoot was trying his best; this guy was quite techy about his image and he didn't fancy fighting with Schwoz's other friends, not when they could so easily blow his clandestine existence. However, even his best wasn't enough and Ray gritted his teeth at yet another mistake.

"No, it's Captain Man. My name is Ray," the hero laughed awkwardly and mockingly, earning himself a few hard stares as he took everything too personally, "and I just think it's hilarious that this guy has no idea who I am!" 

Everything got out of hand quite quickly and (y/n) whined indignantly when her doofus stood up abruptly, tipping her off his lap so she had to scramble to stay on her feet as he started throwing a rather embarrassing tantrum. Honestly, it was like caring for a six-year-old.

"Doofus! Ray--Raymond! Oh god, I am so sorry about him..." she had to say, giving Biggie an apologetic look and nervous smile as her lover began kicking at the dirt, complaining about anything and everything. She was used to his emotional outbursts but that didn't make them any less humiliating when their new friend looked so perplexed and almost sympathetic to her situation. God, the shame--he was thirty-seven for god's sake.

"And there's no dijon mustard for this hotdog!'

"Hey! Just chill, okay? Just relax!--" Schwoz and the teens were staring at the earth as (y/n) flattened her palm against Ray's chest and began pushing him away after he threw the half-eaten Weiner and bun to the ground. Sure, it had been a little bland and boring but it was nice for a minimalistic picnic and they'd share anything honestly, mustard or no mustard.

"Said it was a great campsite, doesn't seem so great to me! His words, not mine!" Ray growled above her incessant pleas to calm down and she started using her body to push him back quicker when he pointed straight at Bigfoot--a highly rude gesture. Such a child...

"Calm down! Just calm the hell down!"

"Ray? Ray?!" Charlotte shouted as she came over to see if she could get through to him too since the awkwardness was killing her. She joined (y/n) in begging for him to button it and folded her arms as he spat her calming words back in her face; seriously, if (y/n) was struggling to calm him down, her, his beloved fiancée, what hope did she have?

"I'm the problem, sweet girl? I'm embarrassing?! I'm embarrassing?!"

"Yes, yes, you are! You're embarrassing when you act like a child, Raymond, getting angry when things don't go your way and it's deeply humiliating!" the woman scolded, staring him down--or as down as she could get since she was so much shorter than him--as a teacher would to a rebellious student. He seemed to sober up at that, recoiling when she gave him the reality check that he was upsetting her, the kids, and everyone and that wasn't fair.

"I'm embarrassing?" he asked again and she cleared her throat when his eyes softened from the hardened glare they'd held seconds before. He never wanted to humiliate her, god knows that he only ever wanted to be proud of having him by her side and it was only because of stupid Bigfoot that he'd lost his cool. Or...maybe it was him, maybe he needed to think things through.

"Yes, Ray, so you know what? You need to calm down, so we're going to go into the forest and we're gonna take a lap," (y/n) told him firmly and took up his hand so she could march him out of the clearing before there was a punch up. Did other girls have to do this with their fiancés?

"I don't wanna take a lap!" he replied petulantly and tried to pull his hand away from his sweet girl in defiance. In his normal state of mind, he'd never do that but children often cut their noses off to spite their faces when being told off--he was no different when he was like this.

"You need to take a lap, Ray," Henry piped up this time, having stood up to come and join Charlotte in assisting the woman, even if their opinions meant very little. Still, he figured that if his boss heard it from enough people, he'd eventually stomp off with (y/n) in tow and she'd ensure that he was fully calm before coming back to their rustic yet sophisticated hangout.

"I don't need a lap! It's not my lap time!" Ray snapped at the kid, thinking he was getting them all to back off when really, he was making it worse. Did he not realise how childish he sounded? All the man wanted to do was enjoy a quiet evening with his girl and feel her squirm against him when he breathed hot air down her neck, but no. That walking carpet was ruining everything.

"If you want to act like a child, then I will treat you like one, Raymond. Come with me!" (y/n) tried to shove him again but his bulk wouldn't budge, not until someone else joined the cacophony.

"Uh, I wouldn't take a lap. It's pretty dangerous out there!" The same walking carpet said, again trying to be helpful but again failing miserably. Whilst he knew the woods like the back of his hairy hand, they didn't and he'd hated to see them step in something dangerous but to Ray, that sounded like a challenge. If Bigfoot could do it, he could do it better.

"Oh, okay! We're taking a lap!" the hero scoffed, suddenly changing his tune, much to the group's frustration. Without another word, Ray seized (y/n)'s hand and dragged her off in the direction that they'd come, grumbling as he went. She was tripping over her feet at his insane pace and all she could manage was a quick wave to the others before they'd rounded the corner and disappeared into the shrubbery.

*WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO. SMUT IMPENDING AGAIN. I PROMISE IT FINISHES AFTER THIS THOUGH. LET'S GOOOOOOO!*

"Ray! Ray! Slow down! I said a lap, not a sprint!" she gasped as he retraced their faint steps that had been trodden into the dirt, looking for one spot in particular since it would be far enough from the camp but not too dangerous for them to be caught unawares. He tried to ease up when she stumbled on a jagged rock emerging from the soil but he didn't stop, merely squeezed her hand even more to keep her following.

"Raymond! Will you just--what is with you tonight?" the heroine asked again, slightly breathless from how much ground they'd covered in such a short space of time. Trees had passed and bushes and a sign saying hunters would be prosecuted--and a sign after that said prosecutors would be hunted if they didn't keep their noses out. It felt like they'd trekked the entirety of the woods when he finally stopped, abruptly and without warning, and with no inclination that he was going to answer her question.

Like lightning, Ray pushed her against the tree for the second time that night and their surroundings once again became familiar to (y/n) as she felt the same scraping against the soft skin of her back. He'd taken her up the path to the old clearing, the one where the moon lit the path to keep the monsters away--and hopefully any snoopers too. 

She'd been hunted again, only this time, Ray intended to go through with the kill.

"I'll tell you what's with me, sweet thing," he growled and instantly had his face buried into her neck so he could nip a line down her jugular, tearing gasps and weak moans from the back of her throat, "I've done nothing but think about your pussy since last night and I need it, darlin'. Need you so bad."

Truth be told, a smile tugged at her lips when his typical, domineering snarl turned into a whining beg. He was pawing at whatever he could get his hands on; her soft neck, tits through her dress, hands brushing back the jacket to hold her waist before slipping down to knead at her ass. Most would say that he was pathetic, desperately trying to tempt her into joining him in the open, in a public place, where anyone could stumble across something.

"Whose fault is that then?" (y/n) teased, jaw dropping open when his teeth bit down on her collarbone, causing her to yank hard on his hair when her hands snaked to run her fingers through it. His lips were so distracting but through the lips of them and his wandering touch lighting fire on her skin, she could feel him against her hip, hard and throbbing, begging to be released after losing out so critically before. 

Now, it was her chance to wind him up tight like a spring and watch him squirm because that's what she'd had to do the night he left her for popsicles and buffoonery. He could've had her, could've pushed right in, god knows she'd let him, she was soaking through her panties just at the memory and yet, he'd left himself to suffer. 

Pushing the skirt of her dress up, Ray immediately grasped at her thighs and tried to widen them, hoping to get a glimpse of the delight that was waiting for him, even if he knew he didn't deserve it, not when he'd played such a cruel game. The desperation was clawing at his insides, cock begging him to fuck her soon before he exploded and so, as much as his instincts told him to have his sweet girl spread out like a feast for him and chastise her for teasing her Captain, he swallowed his pride.

"Please--please--please," he whispered over and over against her neck as he rutted his hips into her. With any luck, she'd feel what she was doing to him, how crazy the thought of her had made him over the last god knows how many hours, how he couldn't wait to fuck her tight cunt any longer. 

The drive over had been hell; anytime he looked over, she was there looking like an angel and he could swear that she'd been widening her legs just to tease him when he rested his hand on her thigh. Little minx... But what could he do? He did his best to find her sweet spots, licking and sucking at the spot below her ear and trailing his fingers closer to her core until she was trembling between him and the tree, that's when she spoke.

"What do you want, doofus?" she murmured, tilting her head back so he'd have more access. Moving down from her ear, he headed for the top of her tits, nipping as he went before he grabbed at them roughly. God, he wished they were back home or that he'd done this sooner, then he could take one into his mouth, he knew how perfect those nipples were for biting and sucking, but out here, he wasn't willing to expose more than he had to.

What did he want? A few things. He wanted her naked, on their bed in the warmth so he could get on his knees and pray for forgiveness before worshipping her like he should've done before. He wanted to hear her every sound above the rustle of the leaves. He wanted to peel her panties down her legs and fuck her hard and strong so he didn't rip someone's head off. He wanted her, he wanted her so much.

"You, sweet girl. I want you so bad--since last night," he panted, grinning against her skin when he found her clit through the soaked material under her dress and rubbed his thumb against it in tight circles. She lurched forward with a cry, bucking her hips towards him as best she could with only the tree for leverage and it reminded her that he wasn't the only one who'd been simmering since last night.

The drive over had been hell; anytime she looked over, he was there, looking like a god as one hand guided the wheel and the other stayed with her like always. She could swear that he'd crept his hand closer to her core with every passing streetlight, just to drive her insane.

"Then fuck me, you idiot," she smirked and palmed at him through his jeans, feeling how huge he was even through the denim and no sooner than the words left her mouth, they pulled apart to weakly shove any clothing out of the way. 

Her thumbs hooked the elastic of her underwear and she pulled them down her legs as their eyes stayed locked, his darkening when she slipped them past her ankles and awkwardly over her shoes. It was never like this in the movies, they made it seem so smooth but she got there eventually and pressed them into his hand, earning herself a groan when he felt the damp cotton. 

Tucking them into his back pocket, Ray lifted his sweater slightly, revealing a peek of his Adonis belt as she knelt to pop the button on his jeans and slowly bring down the zipper. He watched with hooded eyes as she gingerly reached into his briefs and pulled him free, licking her lips at the prize that lay in front of her. 

She leaned forward, ignoring how the bitter air was making her core clench when it met her bare pussy and how stones were digging into her knees as she braced against the ground but it was worth it. Dipping her tongue out, she kitten-licked at his tip before allowing the flared head to break her lips open, taking him in one, two, three times with slow bobs of her head that had him throwing his back to howl at the sky. 

It was indulgent, he knew that; her pace was tortuous and he longed to hold her face still and fuck her pretty throat but relented when she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes that were spoiled only by his cock inflating her cheeks.

"You always look so hot with my cock in your mouth, sweet girl," he groaned and placed a hand on the back of her head to guide her movements. (y/n) moaned at the salty taste of him, loving how pliant he was in her hands, so much power and strength being controlled by her movements--it was intoxicating but not what she sorely wanted.

With one final swipe of her tongue around his length, she pulled back, leaving them connected with nothing more than a string of saliva as she gazed up at him with cherry-red, sickened lips and doe-like eyes before asking, "will you fuck me now, sir?"

"Fuck, baby--" Ray groaned at her naive tone, admiring how small her hand looked when giving his cock a few tugs. Leaving her hair, his hand slipped under her arm and he pulled her to her feet, growling when she giggled at his eagerness. Her amusement didn't last long; pushing her against the tree once more, Ray gripped the backs of her thighs and snarled "jump" against her throat, picking her up effortlessly when she lamely tried to follow his orders.

He secured her legs around her waist and used the tree as leverage, thankful that in their horniness, he'd picked one that had grown at a slight angle so things were easier. His raw strength made her tremble as she clung to his shoulders, where his muscles felt softer through the fuzzy fabric of her sweater but she knew the power that was hidden beneath and could feel it from how he lifted her so easily. 

Rutting his hips forward, they moaned in tandem as his cock slotted against her slit and steadily rocked through her slick, brushing against her clit with every move. Her mouth was pressed against his ear so he could hear every noise she made and his grip turned to steel when he caught on her entrance, prodding so he could feel her clench but not going any further.

"Can I fuck you, sweet girl? Can I fuck you here where anyone can see what's mine?" Ray asked into her hair, sliding his head through her lips to rile his lover up even more. His abs tensed at the thought of someone stumbling across them, a lone hiker or maybe even Bigfoot himself as he came to investigate their disappearance. 

He'd never let them see anything, her pleasure-screwed face and soaked pussy were for his eyes only but a small, sadistic part of him hoped that their new "friend" caught a glimpse of him with his pants shoved down and his sweet girl wrapped in his embrace as he pumped into her. 

That would stick in his head--maybe he'd remember who he was then. The man who was entirely devoted to the sweetest girl on Earth. The man who knew that sweetness better that anyone else.

"Shit--yes, please. Fuck me, I don't care if someone sees--" (y/n) pleaded, going half-insane from the contrast of the jagged bark on her back and the soft swipes of his cock. Ray didn't need telling twice and as her cries painted a smirk on his face, he pushed forward, staring between her legs as he began to disappear inch by inch. The woman threw her head back, not caring when it thunked against the tree, all that mattered was her fucking hot fiancé and his cock that stretched her walls for miles and miles. 

He had the perfect view; her dress was bunched up around her waist and with the moon and stars to guide him, he could see how drenched she was in the dim light and how her pussy sucked him, welcoming him home. She was certain that some of her wetness had been there since the previous night, had not ceased gathering even when he left her alone with a glass of wine to nurse and nothing more and it only made it easier for him to bury himself to the hilt.

For a moment, he gave her a chance to adjust to his sheer size or maybe it was his way of masking how he was the one who needed a minute. Her walls were so damn tight around him and velvety soft, making searing white heat crawl up his spine until he got a grip on himself and started to rock into her.

"So dirty but you like it, don't you? You like having your little pussy filled in the middle of the woods," Ray said cockily, punching out each word in synch with a thrust of his hips, drawing moan after whimper from her mouth--and he sure as hell felt the way she tightened at the reminder of their surroundings. "Oh, you do, don't you? Like knowing that anyone could see you like this for me--see how you scream my name when I--"

"Fuck, Ray!" she cried when he snapped his hips into her at a different angle and hit a spot that made her see stars. Smirking when he saw the way it made jelly of her muscles, he began pummeling that spot, hearing nothing but the blood rushing through his ears and the slapslapslap of his balls against her thighs. Her squeaks and begging were music to his ears and he got lost in his sweet girl, nothing else existed apart from her, him and her tight heat as it ruined his cock.

"N-not gonna last long, darlin, not after last night--" he stuttered, feeling how tight his balls were and how they were begging to pump her full of cum before he exploded. He'd denied himself earlier and it had left him half-crazed, his body drying out for its soulmate so they could be one at last and he was finally succumbing to the call, succumbing to the sweet pull of her pussy and how it was waiting for him.

(y/n) whined something incoherent, too lost in the pleasure rippling through her body from the epicentre in her core. Steadily, she lowered one hand from his shoulders and dropped it to her clit to begin rubbing it in rough circles, her fingers slipping across soaked flesh. It was the push she needed to hurtle her towards the edge and she felt the familiar burn beginning to set in, one that began to blaze when Ray's lips brushed against hers and he captured her gaze.

"That's it, pretty girl. Rub this pussy for me, get it all nice and ready for my cum. Can you do that for me?" he asked in a teasing, condescending tone that had her nodding obediently. His thrusts increased as she doubled down on her clit, giving it light slaps like she knew he would if they were in a more comfortable setting. 

Ray's eyes followed her movements and a gasp got stuck in his throat when he saw how the diamonds in the ring he gave her sparkled with every circle. Fuck, if that didn't make him go faster then nothing would and it wasn't long before he felt the fire return to lick up his spine. Her cunt, her moans, her tight grip on his hair, the sight of his fiancée fucking himself whilst he fucked her was enough to drag him to the edge and her with him when his thrusts faltered.

"Come with me, doofus. Fill me up before we go back," (y/n) whispered before biting his earlobe to smother her loudest moan of the night when he came with a groan, triggering her own end. Ropes of pearly cum flooded her heat as he pressed her against the tree and her orgasm stretched thin when the scraping pain mixed with the bliss. Ray whined and buried his face into her neck, staying as close to her as possible as he filled her up with his most intimate claim.

The heroine sighed at the serenity and rested her forehead against his shoulder as their breathing slowed down. He stayed inside of her for a while, unwilling to remove himself from her warmth when the air around them was so chill and he was more interested in kissing up her neck and running his thumbs across her ass as held her aloft still. 

But, eventually, the chilliness of the air caught up with them and upon feeling his sweet girl shudder and snuggle into him more, Ray realised that her jacket had slipped down her arms when he was pounding into her. Not to mention the fact that she was still wearing that sorry excuse for a dress with her legs facing the elements. 

So, he planted one final kiss on her pulse point and peeled her from the tree, hearing her whimper slightly as her scratched skin smoothed over and his cock jostled against her walls. He pulled out slowly, groaning when he felt his release begin to leak now that she wasn't plugged up. 

"I've got you, sweetheart," the hero told her gently, setting her back down on shaky legs and ensuring that she didn't tumble to the forest floor. "You okay?"

"More than okay, doof. You feelin' better?" (y/n) asked with a breathy laugh. Her tummy fluttered when she felt his cum begin to ooze out of her and whilst she hated to lose it, knowing that it was there was near perfection.

"Much better but there is one thing that I need to do."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" she asked perplexed, wondering what could be so important as he tucked himself away and tugged up his zipper with a shiver. It all became clear when he smirked her way and felt into his back pocket and brought out her panties, the ones he'd tucked away for safekeeping before having his way with her. 

"Would you mind, sweet girl?" He held them open and with a giggle, (y/n) stepped into them as clumsily as she had taken them off, struggling to get her sneakers through the holes until he shimmied them up her legs. Carefully, Ray pulled them over her ass so none of his precious spend could be lost and he playfully squeezed her cheek before fixing her dress to check that she didn't walk anywhere with her butt showing.

"Does this mean I have to walk around with your cum in my underwear?" she questioned, leaning up to caress his lips with hers in a slow dance.

"Of course," Ray grinned, thoroughly in love with the idea that they had a dirty secret between them that no one would ever know but them. Perhaps he was being childish again but the thought of having one up of Bigfoot, having her as his lover since, in his eyes, any man would kill to be with her, made him gloat and preen. Speaking of the hairball...

"We should probably get back..." (y/n) mentioned and pulled his jacket across her body tighter to try and conserve some warmth. The campfire was sounding pretty nice round about now and even better if her doofus would be there to calmly snuggle with her, besides, the others were probably beginning to wonder how long one lap could take.

"You go on ahead, precious girl. I just wanna take a look at something before I go back, I won't be minute," the hero told her gently and gestured to some bushes in the direction they'd come from. 

"Okay, doofus. Don't stay out here too long. I'd hate for something to happen to you," she smiled and pecked his cheek, giving one final warning for him not to be a hero when he wasn't in uniform. Ray chuckled at that and gave her ass a small smack as she walked away, laughing when she sent him a bright-eyed glare over her shoulder. 

God, he hated watching her walk away but at least he could admire her with a longing gaze. Now, about that shiny thing he'd spotted...where was it?

*AND BREAK SCENE. THE SPICY MEATBALL IS OVER MY GUYS. THANK YOU FOR COMING, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELVES, THIS IS SADLY ALL WE HAVE SPACE FOR SO, MIS INOCENTES, WELCOME BACK*

Even in the darkness, on her own and slightly intimidated by the possible Oogie-boogies lurking in the bushes, (y/n) steadily made it back to the camp. A slight left turn, straight on, past the bush that looked like Shirley Bassey and then a right to the small circle of rocks and stumps that seated her friends. 

Just act normal, tell a small white lie and don't blush--whatever you do, don't blush!

"Hey, guys!" she smiled at them as she skipped back to her and Ray's rock and plonked down on it. In her mind, nothing was out of the ordinary and she'd already thought of her story, the one she'd slightly altered to a more suitable narrative. All they needed to do was buy it.

"Hey!"

"What took you so long?"

"Where's Ray?" The teens asked as Schwoz and Bigfoot mumbled and smiled their greetings. The woman laughed nervously at the influx of questions, some of which were easier to answer than others. At least they looked happy and ignorant, that at least meant their "lap" had been far enough away for any noises to dissipate.

"Oh, you know what Ray's like, such a drama queen. He needed a bit more time to cool off so I left him to wander for a bit while I get the feeling back in my fingers," she explained quickly and thank god, it checked out. Whether it be from her steady tone or her pleasant face, the teens nodded knowingly since that did sound like their boss and (y/n) had looked cold all night in that frock of hers.

"I just hope he's okay out there. It's pretty spooky."

"And dangerous!" Bigfoot added, watching the nice lady as she warmed her hands with the fire, flexing her fingers so that the heat seeped into them. Huh, it hadn't seemed that dangerous to her, scary once you were off the beaten track since you couldn't see the hidden roots and rocks as you were walking but apart from that, the woods weren't that bad.

"Why'd you say it was so dangerous out here?" Jasper asked, flexing his fingers too, although it wasn't from a lack of warmth, more like the hair of his palms growing disturbingly long to the point where his skin felt like it was right next to the glowing embers.

"There's this hunter--S. Thompson. He's been setting traps for me all over the woods," Biggie replied and no one liked the sound of that. Not only did the idea of their new friend being caged like an animal make them feel awful, but they also didn't feel safe anymore knowing that there were claws and contraptions hidden under leaves and branches. 

And of course, their favourite idiot was out and about in it, hunting down the treasures he'd seen out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey!" Ray suddenly shouted and poked his head above the flora to show that his hunt had led him back to their vicinity...and the allure of his sweet girl too. "I found some pork chops just lying here on the ground!"

"No, no, don't--" The gentle giant tried to warn him off touching the pork chops but it was too late. 

"G'ahhhhh, it was a trap!" Ray yelped in agony as a metal claw tanged and ensnared his arm with diabolic teeth. Luckily, he was the indestructible Captain Man, so there was no medical emergency, just the wailing of a lost lonely creature who should've followed its mate instead of sticking its nose where it didn't belong. "Monkey fungus, this hurts!"

"Oh my god..."

"You all right, dude? (y/n)'s worried!" Henry called to him and held a calming hand out to (y/n) to tell her that Ray was a big boy, she didn't need to run off to mollycoddle him. She was protective, he knew that, but technically this was on the idiot who just saw something he liked and grabbed it--come on, the world was not going to respond in the same way she did when he grabbed her ass.

"I'm o-kay!" Ray announced, easing his girl's worries with one bellow of his signature phrase. The pain wasn't so bad once his skin adjusted to the pressure and hell, it was worth it for a free pork chop that had been sitting on a dirty rock for who knows how long.

"Hey, is that a bottle of root beer? I'm gonna grab it," he suddenly gasped and no sooner than he did, he was off wandering in another direction, causing his friends to cringe. Something to was the crusty pork down, nice root beer that could've contained any other substance. Delicious.

"What? No, don't grab it! That's probably another trap, you doofus!" (y/n) shrieked over her shoulder but again, Ray didn't listen until he'd stuck his hand in yet another booby trap. The second the bottle left the pressure plate, it snapped shut on his other wrist with a force that would've broken the tendons there had it been anyone else.

"Cobra-Kai, that was equally painful! G'ahhhh..."

"That's the man you want to marry?" Charlotte asked (y/n) dryly, giving her one of her dubious looks as if to tell her that she was dumb for falling for such a moron. They were polar opposites, he could do very little right and she could do very little wrong; even if they had taught her what true love looked like, it was hard to see what the woman fell for since she wasn't the type to go solely off looks.

"Yeah...he has his good moments," she replied quietly and scuffed her sneaker against the dirt. She could name a million things that made her fall in love with Ray, starting with how kind he could, how gentle he was, and how he secretly cared more than anyone, to his floppy hair, baby blue eyes and goofy grin. Amongst other things.

"Oh my god, (y/n/n), what happened to your knees?" Jasper unexpectedly exclaimed, having watched the way she scratched her shoe into the ground and caught sight of the fading bruises.

They were barely visible, almost fully healed so really, she just had some very, very minor bruises that would disappear within the next five minutes. However, if Jasper knew her superpower, and he did, he'd say that for them to be like that, she must've scuffed them up pretty badly. What had happened?

"Oh, uh...um..." the woman stuttered and prayed that the heat from her cheeks couldn't be felt by the kids over the fire. She had to think of something quickly, something that couldn't be added to the pile of reasons why she adored her doofus because it would scar all of them for life.

"Oh, uh...on the way back, I tripped on a tree root and cut them! Nothing super-regeneration can't fix, though..." was her pathetic excuse, which thankfully, went over Henry and Jasper's heads as though the scenario was plausible. They nodded and smiled sympathetically, telling her to watch where she was going in future, powers or no powers, but Charlotte didn't look so convinced. Yeah, sure, she tripped all right. Straight onto Ray's--

"People have been hunting you for years. What's so special about this guy?" Schwoz asked, turning to Bigfoot who was strangely tense after Jasper mentioned (y/n)'s banged-up legs. They were grown-ups, not idiots and the hairy man cleared his throat before continuing, sparing his and the woman's blushes with some tactful conversation.

"He's really good. He knows exactly what I like; pork chops, root beer..."

"Season two of Will & Grace on Blu-Ray!" Ray shouted once more, having spotted the small plastic box on the floor but not the trap that was undoubtedly hidden beneath the shower of dried leaves and twigs.

"That's a good season!"

"That's a great season! Maybe I can pick it up with my foot..." the hero replied, having spent many a binge session with his sweet girl to watch the famous sitcom. It was a freebie, he had to get it but this time, he was going to outsmart the trap since his hands were full, sort of.

"Ray, stop!" Schwoz yelled, hoping to get him to come back but the man was a child--he looked with his hands, not his eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Sweet Megan Mullally, when will I learn my lesson?" he whimpered as his leg was captured too, the metal threatening to impale his skin, even though it was holding out. That was a good question, when would he? Probably never, which was why it was always best to send his handler rather than let him work it out for himself.

"Someone should go get him," Charlotte suggested, eyeing Henry and (y/n) since they were the ones her boss liked best. His sidekicks could handle him, no sweat.

"On it."

"Honestly, it's like looking after a goddamn toddler," the young woman sighed as she followed Henry speedily. Hopefully, they'd get to Ray before he did something idiotic enough to land himself in serious trouble and it was annoying that she had to move again when the fire had just begun to keep her toasty.

"Anyway..." Bigfoot said sadly, standing to his enormous height and going over to get a tangerine from Schwoz's basket as he watched the boy and girl jog away around the corner, "it's only a matter of time before that hunter, S. Thompson, catches me."

"Y'know, Biggie, my friends are superheroes. Maybe they can help get this guy off your back," the genius suggested. He hated to see one of his oldest and dearest friends so gloomy and if he could, he'd do anything to help. And one of the biggest ways he could do that was getting Ray, Henry and (y/n) to flex their super muscles, intimidate this asshat a little bit to leave the woods and its residents alone.

"Hey, Henry! Grab that top hat that's randomly lying on the ground!"

"No, dude. It's a trap!"

"But look how fancy it is!"

"Raymond! You already look like a fire-damaged Lady Gaga impersonator, don't you dare set off another one of these things!" Well, they were super most of the time. Schwoz and Charlotte shook their heads as they overheard the interaction of the sidekicks trying to get the hero to follow them, only for him to reiterate how dumb he was.

"I know, I'll just kick it out of the trap really fast before it closes!"

"No, you doof, that's not gonna work!--" (y/n) begged her lover and tried to grab onto his bicep and tug him away without aggravating the claw on his arm, but once Ray had an idea in his head, he didn't snap out of it. Not even when she whined at the sight of him getting lynched.

"Yeooooowwwwwww! Mamma mia, that's a spicy bear trap!" He yowled as his other got caught, meaning he was now snatched and snipped in all four corners; the pain was near unbearable but he had his prizes, including a dashing top hat that he hoped would make his despairing sweet girl fall for him.

"See what I mean? There are traps everywhere," Bigfoot sighed and Schwoz understood his predicament. From how easy it was to fool Ray, there was a different trap every few feet, so there was no wonder that he was on edge--one wrong move could spell disaster.

"Hey!" Ray yelled as he approached the clearing again, finally having been shoved that way after Henry wrestled him away from something else interesting - another spoil of bear trap war. "Did you guys know there's a bunch of traps and a really sweet top hat in the woods?"

"Yeah, did you also know there's a massive doofus who keeps falling for them too?" (y/n) hissed as she moodily walked behind him, watching how her lover limped from the pain and weight of the metal that clung to his body. He did look cute in the top hat, though, like a huge dork that her heart couldn't help but sing for no matter how much he irritated her with his antics.

The doofus wasn't the only creature falling that night. The sweet girls were at it too.

~A while later~

After peeling Ray from the traps, a task that had required all of them working together and a monumental amount of effort, the plan to save Bigfoot was well underway.

The heroes were in their uniform, ready to pounce should this S. Thompson guy show up prematurely but apart from the electric anticipation in the air, things were smooth. 

Using one of his many contacts, Ray had brought in a large, steel booby trap, one that wasn't like one of those piddling little claw things that had got him. No, this was the real deal, something he'd used to trick criminals hundreds of times before. 

It was a box, spread out flat across the woodland floor and when lifted by several ropes, it trapped whoever was dumb enough to be standing on it like an animal. It was genius, apart from the fact that they had yet to camouflage it.

"Thanks," Jasper nodded at Henry, who had taken the time to laser off the hair on the boy's hands since they had a lick of free time now that most of the work was done. 

"Yeah, you got it," the sidekick smiled, glad to help out his buddy. Well, he'd mainly done it to stop his complaints, not to mention the fact that the sight of the ever-growing hairs was starting to freak him out.

"It was really hard to go to the bathroom with all of that hand hair."

"I don't wanna hear about it," Henry said quickly, recoiling at the image of Jasper doing stuff and then, stuff getting on things and...ew. He did not want to hear about that, too much information but it didn't deter Jasper, not at all. 

Sensing his friend's discomfort, he merely smiled and warmly patted his arm before walking off, mentioning something about enlightening poor Charlotte with his toilet troubles instead. She and (y/n) had been sent off on a very important mission whilst the guys did all of the heavy liftings with the trap; they were told to collect twigs and moss and leaves--that sort of thing--any material that would cover the metal sheets and blend it into the ground. 

"Hey, we got the pine needles you wanted to cover the trap!" Charlotte announced, shuffling back into the clearing with a fluffy mound of brown foliage. Twigs, moss and leaves weren't that easy to carry, but millions of pine needles could easily be scooped up, even if they didn't make them feel itchy and scratchy. 

Walking to the centre of the flat box, the girls dumped their loads, watching as it fluttered to the ground and covered about one per cent of the metal, which didn't help them. The needles clumped together, so all it was were two brown lumps on the ground, not the thick camo they were after.

"Oh my god, where'd the trap go?" Henry asked sarcastically, looking at the two who didn't respond well to his dry quip. He'd expected them to either bring more or at least try and spread it out, give them a bit more coverage, but frankly, it was a pathetic effort on their part.

"Seriously, sweet girl? That's all the pine needles you could get?" Ray turned to his fiancée, whose eyes narrowed at the prospect of him pointing the blame but he didn't sound mean or angry, just soft and questioning. Right, the others could be told off but never her--she was the one he was enchanted by.

"Well, doofus, we could've gotten more if maybe someone would've helped us. I don't know, maybe someone with floofy hair and thirty-two-inch biceps?" (y/n) replied frankly, her hands on her hips since she wasn't a miracle worker. 

If she was an octopus, she would've been able to carry eight times that amount, or if she was a magician, she could float them over, but she wasn't. She was just a superheroine who'd tripped a million times in her cute boots that were sadly not designed for rocky terrain and had a lover who'd been too busy strutting about like an egotistical peacock to help her and Charlotte.

"Don't worry, darlin'. I got you," he smirked and for a moment, she genuinely thought that she'd gotten through to him with her flirting and stroking of his ego but then, he had to go and ruin it, "Jasper! Schwoz! Go with Charlotte and Miss Danger and get more pine needles."

The boss had spoken and upon receiving his command, the boys and girl sloped off to go and scavenge for more needles, leaving (y/n) to give him a boring look. And people said chivalry was dead.

"Wow, Captain Man. Thanks a lot!" She exclaimed in a faux excited voice, turning lethargically on her heel but not before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He might have pissed her off but she'd never leave without giving him one, otherwise, she'd never be able to concentrate on anything other than the knowledge that her doofus might not know how much she loved him. And she could never have that.

"So, what's the plan?" Bigfoot asked as the woman walked off to tell Jasper not to eat any unknown substances. It was his voice that broke Ray out of his trance, having been totally in a dream as he followed her figure until it had rounded the corner completely. What? What was that? Had he been thinking about her thighs again? Certainly not!

"We're gonna trap that jerk-bag hunter," Ray replied calmly. He still wasn't awed to be in Bigfoot's presence but he could tolerate him now that his system was clear and he had a job to focus on. 

"Yeahhhhh, Bigfoot likey!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, as soon as we spring the trap, Captain Man and I will pop out and he won't even remember that you're Bigfoot.

"Oh, solid plan!" The hairy man grinned as Henry explained what they were gonna do and it did sound pretty cool. The hunter couldn't hunt if he didn't know what he was hunting, which was what made it so clever, if only they were that too. After all, they were so busy chuckling that they didn't notice the predator circling them.

"How does this trap worked?" Biggie asked, distracting them yet again from their surroundings. The stalker in the bushes was good at his job as Bigfoot had described, so he knew how to muffle his footsteps and creep about in the shadows to the extent that not even the great Captain Man with all of his experience knew what was happening.

"Great question, 'Foot!"

"You're gonna stand right over there and when the hunter sees you, he's gonna be like, doo-do-doo-do-doo-do! There's Bigfoot!" Ray played it out, acting like an idiot as he scampered over to stand in the middle of the trap.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, he's gonna walk over and stand right here--this spot," Henry carried on, moving to stand next to his boss so they were adjacent to the pathetic pile of pine needles. They were so dumb; Thompson was standing right there and they didn't even know it, and neither did they see how huddling together was a really crap idea.

"Right here?"

"Mhmm, right where we're standing right now," Ray nodded to the other man, who was now in the centre of the box too, looking around intently but not that intently...or carefully.

"And then, Schwoz will hit a button and he'll spring the trap."

"This trap right here?" Bigfoot pointed to the metal under their feet, just to make sure he knew what they were planning. After all, it was his safety and everything.

"The same."

"The one we're standing over right now."

"And where is this button that springs the trap we're standing on right now?" Bigfoot asked, not realising that his biggest foe was eavesdropping on every word they were saying. It was like they wanted him to know how to outwit them or like they had a death wish because Thompson was getting some great tips on how to catch the beast he'd been after for so many years.

"Another great question, 'Foot. It is riiiiiiiggggghhhtt...there," Henry slurred, looking around for the button since he hadn't been paying attention when Schwox had been setting it up. He and Ray scanned the trees and surrounding bushes before their eyes landed on one big red button that had been nailed to a tree trunk. And that's when they finally noticed the man in the high-vis vest standing next to it. 

"Hey there, fella!" Ray suddenly said in a tight, chirpy voice that didn't soothe or fool Thompson. He knew a nervous person when he cornered one or three, including his prize.

"Would you mind stepping over here to the--" Too late. Nothing Ray could've said would have convinced Thompson to do anything but whack the button; he'd waited years to catch Bigfoot and now, he had him and he'd virtually walked into a trap set by himself. He wouldn't pass up that opportunity. Immediately, the trap was sprung and a series of pulleys above their heads pulled the walls up, magnetically locking the three in a solid steel box.

"Woo!" The hunters had become the hunted.

Inside, Ray pulled a portable light from his belt and stuck it to the wall, giving them light now that the moon was hidden due to the height of the metal. It wasn't great but at least they could sort of see.

"Okay, we need a new plan..." Henry hissed to his boss, who knew that it was just a question of what. They couldn't get out, not on their own and little did Thompson know but they had two teens and a weirdo and a hot superhero out in the woods as a backup. He knew what to do.

"Scream for help?"

"Scream for help." Henry nodded and instantly, the three bawled at the top of their lungs. The noise ricocheted out and into the night air as they begged for mercy, for someone to come get them and for the hunter to not hurt them--Ray even tried thumping on the walls to no avail. All that could be heard was that hillbilly celebrating his easiest victory ever.

"Woo! Gah! Yeeewoo! Finally got Bigfoot! Yeah, gah, you're in there, boy! Woo!" He screamed and banged his fist against the steel, causing Biggie to jump at the racket as his enemy taunted him. "I'm gonna call the news right now! That's right, I'm gonna be famous! I'm definitely gonna get married now..."

"Not before I do, buddy..." Ray muttered, fully aware that the asshole couldn't hear him but still. He wasn't gonna be carted off like some freak and fail his mission there had to be some way out, after all, he had a very important date to make at some point. And even so, he doubted that any girl would want to come in three feet of a man who wanted to poach innocent beings.

"Dude, he's calling the news. What are we gonna do?" Henry questioned worriedly and ignored the murmurings that fell from his boss' mouth. He was more concerned with their current predicament than whether Thompson thought he was God's gift to women or water.

"Oh, come on. Like the news is gonna pick up..." the hero scoffed at his sidekick's worries. Not to be mean or anything but S. Thompson was a bit of a weirdo and he doubted that the news would pay attention to him at all--if anything, this would be a wake-up call for him to get a proper job.

"This is the hunter, S. Thompson and I trapped Bigfoot. Bring your cameras, you can be the first people in the world to show pictures of him!" The hunter's hushed voice came from outside and quickly, Henry gave Ray the stink eye. He just had to jinx it, didn't he?

Yeah, the news was interested, they had very little else to do, so now, Mary, Trent and probably all the other creature fanatics in Swellview were headed their way. 

"He called the news! They're on the way!" Bigfoot exclaimed in a panicky voice. He was freaking out at the thought of being exposed to the world and from the sounds of it, he was near tears at the thought of being labelled a mutant, a sideshow freak. 

"Relax, 'Foot, I'm gonna laser us outta here," Ray told him soothingly as he plucked his controller from his belt. He'd had a great idea and hell, it had once been tried in a movie so it might work now, even if in that movie, the theory hadn't panned out.

"What? No, no, no, dude, it's diamond-plated steel--" Henry tried to warn him that firing a laser could have disastrous consequences but like always, Ray didn't listen. Schwoz and (y/n) had said something about the metal being extremely durable and resistant, so a silly laser wouldn't do a thing, not even a scratch, as they were about to see.

Ray fired a small shot, not at full strength but not a mild one either, but when it came into contact with the patch of walls above their heads, the plasma bounced. It another plate and another and another, ricocheting all around them until it burned a hole in Bigfoot's fur. 

"Ow!" He yelped in pain as the heat seared away all of the hair to leave his skin underneath smooth and pale. Definitely not one of Ray's best ideas.

"Maybe if I set this thing to kill..." he muttered, again not thinking with his head. Stupidly, he didn't make the connection that a stronger laser wouldn't help, all it would do was render one of them dead, so Henry would have to wrestle to stop him before something disastrous happened...or maybe not. He'd just had a brainwave.

"Hang on a second. Dude, dudedudedudedudedudedude--"

"What? What?" Ray looked at him, agitated from all of the pesterings. Seriously, that was as annoying as (y/n) begging him for a slurp of his drinks all of the time but without any of the butterflies.

"Dude, look at his arm," Kid Danger said, pointing to Biggie's right arm, the one that had been nicked by the rogue laser.

"Yeah, it's big, but mine are way bigger," the man replied, not seeing the significance of the other guy's arms when his were superb. Come on, they made Miss Danger swoon whenever he tensed them and so, that's what he did, flexed them to make them puff up into the physique that he was well-known for. 

"What? No, that's not what I'm--" the boy shook his head and got his boss to knock it off because his name wasn't (y/n) - thirty-two-inch biceps didn't work on him. "Look at the bald spot! It looks like he's got normal skin." He redirected his attention to the lasered spot, which kinda looked like Jasper's head had been after the unfortunate incident.

"So?" Ray shrugged again, not seeing why the kid was getting so pumped over silly old Bigfoot. 

"So, this might sound crazy but...what if we shave Bigfoot with our lasers?" Henry suggested, looking at Ray with a devious smirk. Hell yeah, it was crazy and kooky but they were desperate, so maybe they needed a bit of that. 

"Okay...love that," Ray was up for it anyway. After the Jasper incident, he'd discover that seeing someone with their hair gone was pretty funny and besides, Bigfoot was known for being hairy--what would the news crews do if they turned up to a pink blob and two superheroes? Probably nothing.

"Uh...I don't know, guys. My hair is kind of my thing," the hairy man said anxiously. He had some doubts, which was understandable but it might be their only option.

"Exactly! So, if we zap your hair off, when they open this up, it'll just be three totally normal, hairless dudes just chilling in the woods!" Henry explained. Honestly, Biggie didn't know if getting caught as a beast or as one of three guys in the woods was worst--the boy did make it sound a bit weird, especially when he and Ray did their weird little hand-wiggle thing.

"Hairless boys!"

"Exactly!" They grinned and did their little high-pitched tongue noises as their fingers wiggled together before looking at the man expectantly.

"Uh, I don't know..." Bigfoot debated, sounding unsure since it had taken him a long time to get to be the walking carpet he was now. How long would it be until he got his hirsute splendour back? But then...

"Woo! Ya hear that? The news is comin'! Yeah, the world is finally gonna know the name of the hunter, S. Thompson! You're mine now, ya big, smelly hairbag!" The obnoxious poacher's voice came from outside and the southern drawl sent a shiver down Bigfoot's spine. Right, he had to remember the alternative and what would happen to him if he didn't lose his hair. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Be gentle..." Finally, he came to a decision; the hair had to go. At least if they set it to a weaker setting then the beam wouldn't be as strong or painful, and so, with the devices turned down low, Henry and Ray got to work. Biggie's eyes were squeezed shut as green light began to glide across his fur, taking it away bit by bit. 

It was just hair. It would grow back. Being bald was temporary, being trapped and experimented on was forever.

~Deeper in the woods~

Whilst all of that had been going on with the boys, (y/n) had been traipsing after Schwoz, Charlotte and Jasper for what seemed like forever. 

The boy kept seeing bright plants and flowers that he liked the look of--plants and flowers that (y/n) could swear were poisonous so she had a job keeping him alive as they each collected large armfuls of pine needles until they could carry no more. 

They'd been at it for a good ten minutes, surely, they had enough to satisfy Ray and cover the trap, besides, Charlotte and Jasper could swear that she was getting antsier the longer she was away from her doofus. Stupid love, it made them so silly.

"Hey, I got more pine needles for the trap!"

"Me too!" The girls shouted as they came stumbling back from different routes, having decided that foraging in different clearings would be the best idea. Schwoz was already stood at the meeting point and like them, could barely see over his collection it was that plentiful.

"Okay, just put them over there by the bush--" he instructed them, thinking that they were gonna return to the campsite in a moment but he didn't expect them to just dump their loads on him. As if he was some sort of pack mule, Charlotte dumped her needles on top of his and because of that, (y/n) copied her, believing that he'd kindly offered to carry them so their arms wouldn't get all itchy.

"Wait, wait, that is not--" His protests came too late and then, Jasper returned as well with yet more pine needles.

"Comin' in with needles!" He shouted, carrying another million or so and Charlotte knew exactly what to do with them, after all, they weren't heavy or anything.

"Oh, give 'em to Schwoz."

"No, do not do that!" the genius protested, thinking that he could barely see as it was, he didn't want more needles on top of him. But Jasper had a problem, one that hadn't been taken care of earlier when Henry kindly volunteered to trim his hand hair because, for the most part, it had been forgotten about.

"I can't hear with all this ear hair!" Jasper yelled at an unnecessary volume and now that they looked, the girl could see that he had long tufts of hair sprouting from inside his ears. Schwoz had said not to itch them and Henry hadn't lasered them, so he was having a hard time listening to anything--including himself.

"Give--your--pine needles--to Schwoz!" (y/n) shouted directly into his ear, hoping that she was being loud enough to penetrate the long strands. Jasper strained to catch every word and nodded as he got the just of it, much to the small man's displeasure.

"Okay!"

"Wait! Don't--arghh!" he groaned as the final pile was added and whilst one small bundle weighed practically nothing, added together, it was quite hefty, enough to make him feel a slight strain. "I know my muscles are huge but--

"Hey, guys!" A voice suddenly came from the right to cut off Schwoz. He couldn't see who it was but for (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte, it was highly familiar--Piper. (y/n) squeaked at the thought of her seeing Miss Danger in the woods, fraternising with two teens who she wasn't supposed to know and in a split second of panic, she froze and looked for a place to hide as the girl approached.

"Someone caught Bigfoot in a trap--bye!" And like that, she was gone. Piper didn't even register that a gobsmacked heroine had been in the clearing, as well as a walking haystack so it was a surreal experience until the panic set in again for a whole different reason.

"Wait, what did she say?" Schwoz asked, not having heard the shocking news above the rustling of the pine needles. Plus, it was kinda hard to believe it since they were trying to do the reverse.

"Someone taught Bigfoot how to rap!" Jasper replied loudly, getting nearly all of the words wrong thanks to his hairy ears. To be fair, Piper had only been present for all of three seconds and Charlotte had (y/n) barely caught it, so he was at a disadvantage.

"No! Someone--caught--Bigfoot--in a trap!" Charlotte yelled, sounding out each word as the heroine had done earlier so he had time to catch them. Well, that didn't sound good at all, especially since if Bigfoot was trapped, then something must've happened to Ray and Henry too. Oh, god...

"We need to get back there!" (y/n) breathed out and gestured for the kids to run after her as a chill ran down her body. Her sweet doofus, Henry, Biggie, something must've happened, so she took off running with the teens hot on her heels as Schwoz floundered with the now useless needles.

"Wait, what about the pine needles?" He called after them.

"Who cares?!" Charlotte screamed over her shoulder and by that point, she was already gone by the time Schwoz said that he did. Miss Danger would have a heart attack if anything happened to her companions, especially her soulmate, but the genius was more concerned about what they had spent so long collecting. 

But he didn't have to think about it for long because as he worried about what to do with them, a large, grumbling man emerged from the bushes, heading straight for him. In his drunken state, the man collided with Schwoz, coating himself with the needles that for some reason stuck to him like glue and when he roared from the pain, Schwoz took off running.

He knew a monster when he saw one, even if that monster looked strangely familiar, so he left it to gurgle and claw at the fuzz clinging to his skin so he could make a break for it and catch up with the others.

~

In the clearing, things had started to heat up.

True to their word to S. Thompson, the news and all of their helicopters, crews and the genuine desk had turned up for the big report, one that would make the hunter famous once and for all. Trent and Mary were here and as soon as the cameras started rolling, he'd spring it for them to see, for the entire world to see.

Not only that, but a group of enthusiasts and local busybodies had arrived, hoping to catch a glimpse of the real-life Bigfoot in the man's trap, so their phones were ready for the big moment, whenever that would come.

"This is insane..." (y/n) grumbled to Charlotte and Jasper, her arms folded as she watched the news desk be lowered from the helicopter for Trent and Mary to sit at. 

There had been a few murmured whispers about why Miss Danger had suddenly stormed onto the scene with her face like thunder and two teenagers and a weirdo following her but she was too worried to pay attention. Apparently, Bigfoot was in their trap, which had worked perfectly only on the wrong people, and she just knew that her doofus was stuck in there too--the doofus.

"That's good, Rick!" Trent shouted to the helicopter pilot once the desk was firmly on the ground for her and Mary to sit at.

"Did I miss Bigfoot?" Piper asked Mitch Bilsky, who had indeed been the terrified camper spooked by Biggie earlier. The girl had been slowed down by her dad, who'd gotten lost somewhere along the way after eating some poisonous fungus, but she'd left him behind when the whir of the helicopter sounded above her head. Bigfoot was more important.

"Nah, that guy's about to reveal him right now," Mitch replied, pointing to Thompson as he loitered around the trap, "I'm gonna get a video of me looking at his feet going, what are those?!"

"If I could have everyone's attention!" The hunter announced and looked to the crowd where Mitch was being so immature, "I'd like to give a little speech." He said tenderly, annoying the buzzing crowd who weren't much for mushy sentimentality.

"Websters defines a hero as a big sandwich...but if you look a little further down--"

"Just open it up, ya gunch!" Mitch yelled, interrupting the dumb speech that was in no way relevant or tearjerking. For once, (y/n) was grateful for his big mouth and shuffled from one foot to another as the seconds lagged. She didn't want to hear some shit about sandwiches when her friends and lover were trapped inside and about to be revealed to the world.

"Fine, I'll open it," Thompson huffed, annoyed that his glorious moment as a hero had been shot down, but the best was yet to come as he grabbed the trap's release. 

"Behold! Bigfoot!" he cried and the walls fell into their original flat position. As (y/n) had predicted, Ray and Henry had indeed gotten trapped with Bigfoot, caught by that dumbass hunter but along with the heroes was a being who blew her mind. 

The cameras flashed as everyone gawked at the guy who was supposedly Bigfoot, but he wasn't. What had been fur was now smooth, pale skin that had seen little sunlight and the teens, (y/n) and Schwoz gasped as they saw Biggie looking like a proper man. His hair and beard were clipped, as were his torso and legs save for a section around his butt that had been kept furry to save his modesty. Honestly, they were just two heroes and a guy in furry pants, what was epic about that?

"Hey, everybody!"

"Hi, people of Swellview..." Ray and Henry greeted the crowd awkwardly as Bigfoot held his breath and tried not to shiver from the newfound cold. Ray turned to wink at his sweet girl, who sighed with relief when she saw that they were all okay but he wasn't able to quell her questioning look, not without tipping off the crowd that they were in the middle of a scheme.

"Trent, Mary, how's it goin'?"

"How are you?" They then turned to news crews, who looked equally perplexed because they had been expecting Bigfoot, not the crimefighters and some random big guy with weird fashion sense. S. Thompson had gone strangely pale and quiet as he took in his prize--or lack thereof--and he couldn't work out what had happened.

"So...where's Bigfoot?" Trent asked, searching the scene but coming up empty. God, he hated hoaxes.

"He's there! He's right there, look!" S. Thompson snapped, pointing directly at Biggie, who merely appeared shrewd and harmless at such an indictment, turning around as if he was just another curious onlooker--just how Ray and Henry had told him to act. If he looked in a mirror, he wouldn't recognise himself, let alone the fanatics and journalists around them, who always saw Bigfoot in one specific light.

"Who, Eddie? This is just our friend, Eddie," Captain Man lied, brushing away the hunter's accusations with faux innocence and his signature trustworthy persona. Everyone believed their favourite heroes because they loved them so much and their cunning made Charlotte, Jasper, (y/n) and Schwoz smirk at each other.

"Hi, I'm Eddie!" Bigfoot waved to the baffled crowd with a big grin on his face. They were confused but didn't suspect a thing; perfect.

"Yeah, and Eddie here, he--he likes to wear...hair shorts."

"Which are a real thing!" Henry said and was quickly backed up by Ray when everyone's gaze fell to Bigfoot's curious attire. Well, they couldn't leave him naked and from a distance, they just looked like a peculiar garment; it wouldn't be the first time Swellview had been hit by weird fashions, the hip youth was always doing odd stuff.

"Whoa...I never heard of no hair shorts," Thompson protested, glaring at the heroes as they tried to slip his prize out from under his nose. He knew the truth, he could smell Bigfoot after so many years of studying and he wasn't going to let them convince the crowd otherwise.

"Well, I have!" (y/n) abruptly exclaimed, crossing the clearing to come and stand in between Henry and her doofus, bringing with her an opinion that the citizens of Swellview could never refuse. 

Miss Danger was often spotted in every magazine going, whether they be gossip or fashion because everyone wanted to know what she thought or wore or liked, so if she put her seal of approval on hair shorts then they would be in every boutique in the city before the next sunrise. 

"Yeah, I've heard of hair shorts and I think that they are the coolest. I have so many pairs at home!" She lied through her beaming smile as Ray stood smugly next to her and put his arm around her waist. She smiled at that, feeling her heart flutter now that she knew he was safe and sound, even if the camera flashes meant that they'd be headlining the news again as the city's hottest couple.

"Did you hear? Miss Danger says that hair shorts are the coolest!" Charlotte repeated to the crowd in a robotic voice like she was an avid fan eager to follow the heroine's way of life to a tee.

"Yeah! And she's an influencer so hair shorts have to be cool!" Jasper carried on, sending the crowd into a hush of whispers because that's how society worked in the modern era. Celebrities were the leaders and the mere mortal public were the sheep and none could be prouder than Ray as he stood on the arm of the hottest woman in town.

"I--I mean, those are the rules," Piper acknowledged. She was an internet loiterer, constantly checking and refreshing every app and website going for new trends and gossip, so she'd know what to do if one of her idols said something; follow it to the letter.

"Come on, guys. Let's go get some hair shorts!" Mitch smirked at his pack of buffoons, showing that the pack mentality was starting to work--hair shorts would be popular come tomorrow afternoon. And that did not please Thompson.

"No, wait! Don't leave!" he begged the crowd, who were beginning to lose interest now that they knew that Bigfoot was still a mystery and he a loony. "Y'all, that's Bigfoot and I found him! And I'm gonna get married!"

"Fat chance of that..." (y/n) said under her breath so only Ray and Henry could hear her. The man chuckled at her response that was along the lines of his and it was when he had pressed his lips to her temple joyfully that something came stumbling out of the undergrowth.

The crowd gasped as a hulking, moaning creature staggered into the clearing, looking like it had been in a fight with a dead bush and lost, and sounding like it was in pain--kinda like Bigfoot. He was hairy, sort of, and animalistic in his manner, so they snapped a few pictures for evidence of what was actually Mr Hart covered in a load of sap, pine needles from Schwoz, whilst slightly high from the moss that he'd eaten by mistake.

"That's Bigfoot!" Mary cried from the desk, pointing at the terrifying monster as it snarl at the stunned crowd, who quickly descended into madness as they saw what looked like a creature from a fairytale. 

As the disorientated man swayed, they charged, eager to get a hold of Bigfoot and Mr Hart ran for his life, the bleariness in his eyes making it difficult until they were all lead away from the trap. And that left the Man Cave team and "Eddie" alone at last.

"Well, that just about wraps it up," Ray said with a clap of his hands and he could honestly say that he was ready to go home. He had unfinished business with his sweet girl and the idea of falling asleep with her as they watched movies in the bed sounded heavenly.

"So..." Henry nodded, knowing that there wasn't much else for them to do now that all of the hunters were on the wrong trail and they'd met Schwoz's friend as they had set out to do. "You guys wanna go back to the Man Cave and watch Will & Grace?"

"Season two?" Biggie asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Henry giggled and the man and boy bumped fists as everyone agreed that the plan couldn't be better. Well, that would (y/n) and Ray down to the ground, they'd fall asleep watching anything, in their room or not in their room, as long as they could cuddle, which they inevitably would. 

"Let's go!" (y/n) grinned and ushered them all to get moving so they could leave all of the drama behind. However, as the teens, Schwoz and Bigfoot turned to go, Ray's eyes wandered and spotted something shiny and interesting yet again. There were so many traps yet for him to discover...so many things for him to take.

"Ooooh, look. Some cheese titos!" he smirked deviously and wiggled his fingers, indicating that he was gonna swipe them for a binge-watching snack. He would never learn his lesson, no matter how many times he hurt himself or had his fingers smacked by his precious girl.

"What? No, dude, no!" Henry tried to stop him, not wanting to go through the same struggle again but this time, (y/n) was willing to let Ray learn for himself. After all, once bitten twice shy, right?

"No, kid, just let him. Sadly, this is the only way he'll learn," she sighed and held a hand out for him to stay where he was. He was her doofus and she loved him but she wasn't going to spend their lives together running around to wrap him in cotton wool. He couldn't be an idiot forever, he'd soon learn to keep his hands to himself.

"These things are cheesetastic!" Ray grinned and reached down to grab the bag as he kept smiling at his tired fiancée. He'd just get these and then, they could go because of course, he wasn't aware that he was the one tiring her out with his antics. 

"ARGGGGGGHHHHH!" And then came the pain. The claw closed on his hand as the others had and it was like his hand was being ripped off constantly but refusing to let go of his wrist. "Crunchy snacks, that smarts!"

His friends cringed but as the pain passed, they assumed that he'd hobble back to (y/n)'s side to lick his wounds and seek her comfort, but no. In true Ray fashion and despite his silent promise, the hero looked to his left and saw something else, another doohickey that he fancied, and he figured that one more trinket could hurt. Traps could hurt, though, and hearing him in pain was even worse for some.

"Hey, look! A cane! That'll go perfect with my top hat!" he noted as he ate a chip and felt so giddy about the idea of being a pristine gentleman for his sweet girl that he skipped off to go and retrieve it. At this rate, they'd never go home, not until he was immobilised by metal and carrying a bag full of worthless tat.

"Or...he'll never learn." the heroine lamented, burying her face in her hands as Ray went off again...and got trapped again. Did he not know that he was breaking her heart and tearing down every word she said in his defence? She could get him titos if he wanted and she didn't need him to dress up, dressing down was preferable and now, he was a bigger doofus than ever.

"Ow! Puttin' on the Ritz, that hurts!"

"Are you sure you wanna marry him? It's not too late to run for it, y'know..." Charlotte retorted to the woman, who didn't take any offence from her words. She was joking, that was clear, the girl would never ruin the relationship that she helped to forge, but it had to be said yet again. 

They were so different and him so difficult--did she really want to sign herself up for a lifetime of that?

"You don't know my doofus like I do. He's a massive idiot and he drives me insane but he's my massive idiot. I wouldn't have it any other way... I love him."

Hell yeah, she did.

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