Tumgik
#parentloss
sineadshinelight · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
Even when the world looks cold and unwelcoming And it feels like no-one has your back Remember the world needs your light even more because without you it will be even darker And you are loved, even if you don’t feel it right now Let these feelings pass and tomorrow you can tell a friend all about how terrible yesterday was Because tomorrow you may remember where you feel safe, and that you are loved and find hope again Stay Repost from @sara_rian_books • everything misses you. ♥ 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚟𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝙰𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚘𝚗 ♥ 『𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚒𝚘』 #grief #grieving #griefsupport #heartache #normalizegrief #parentloss #griefjourney #loss #lifeafterdeath #loveandloss #lostlovedones #imissyou #losingyou #griefquotes #motherlessdaughters #motherlessmoms #bereavement #deathanddying #griefandloss #motherlessmothers #poetry #writersofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #griefclub #poetryofinstagram #griefhealing #suicidelosssurvivor #suicideloss #grievingdaughter https://www.instagram.com/p/CnoZM_aMenL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
5 notes · View notes
sroseh · 1 year
Text
The fact that I got sick right on Christmas means my father’s spirit is haunting me from beyond the grave, apparently. Thanks for the Christmas gift, Dad.
2 notes · View notes
amy-mwalker · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
her-power · 5 months
Text
The End of All Things (e.m. x fem reader)
Tumblr media
C/W: 18++++ MDNI, I'm serious! Sweet! Eddie, smut, fluff, fingering (f receiving) oral (f+m receiving) unprotected p in v (don't be silly, wrap your willy!) making out, swearing, grief, hurt/comfort, parentloss, death, talk of death, best friends in love summary: This takes place 5 years after the events of S4. Midsummer 1991. Eddie & reader are in their mid twenties. Eddie is your best friend and has come to you after an unimaginable loss you just endured. You realize your feelings for him during this time, and sweetness and sexiness ensues. I originally was going for a subtle smutty-ness, but I got carried away, whoooops. (I suck at summaries, I'm so sorry)
A/N: This is based off of a life changing event that happened to me when I was seventeen. A lot of it has actual conversations/reactions from said event. This was insanely therapeutic for me to write, and I thank you all for reading this if you do, this goes out to all the ones who suffered a loss and are still actively healing. I see you, you are a rockstar and keep going <3 I also pay a little homage to Matthew Perry/Chandler Bing. I'm still not over it and Chandler will always be my comfort character like Eddie. This may have multiple parts, I also semi-proofread this, sorry for any mistakes! The title is a Panic! At the Disco song, it's been on repeat for awhile for me and I think it's perfect for this so definitely take a listen to it after you read this.
Word Count: 7.5k
“She’s gone.”
Your breath hitches as you stare at the wide amber eyes of your father from where you sat on the couch. He was clasping your hands tight as you stared at him. Your throat tightens.
“You’re lying.” A smirk tugs at your lips, this was a joke. The second those words left your lips you felt something cold creep up your spine, turning your stomach into knots.
“Honey, I’m not. She’s gone, she—” 
You stand up fast, ripping your hands out of his. Your bottom lip trembles as you feel your tears burn the corners of your eyes. 
“You’re lying!” You yell at him. “Where’s Mom?! Where is she?! You’re lying!”
Your father drops his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking with sobs. You knew he wasn’t lying; you knew it. It didn’t mean you had to believe it.
She wasn’t dead. She wasn’t dead.  Wasn’t. Dead. She’s dead.
Those words swirl in your mind as you quietly groan. Your fingers clench at the hem of your black camisole, pulling and tugging at the thin material, feeling too hot, too tight. 
“N-no…” You whimper, your vision blurring as you stare at your distraught father.
Your very core burns, it stings, and you couldn’t tell if you had a heartbeat. Is that what she felt? You wonder.  Hunching forward, the pain in your chest was building and building as you loudly gasp.
“Nooooooooo!” You wail loudly. You find yourself pumping your legs towards somewhere, anywhere. An escape.
The door.
You swallow back bile as you push your front door open with your shoulder, you awkwardly stumble down the front steps, and the cool midsummer air caresses your face as your feet hit the paved driveway. You gasp again, gripping at your chest, and then you scream.
You didn’t know you could make a sound like that. A sound that was full of pain, full of anger, full of a feeling of invisible hands squeezing your heart until it bursts in your chest. Your scream echoes through the quiet neighborhood; you inhale another shaky breath, nails clawing at your stomach as you wail again. 
A dog barks in the distance, a porch light turns on, then another. You swear you just heard someone say your name. You lift your head to the sky; the stars were so visible and beautiful that night, looking like small freckles kissing the dark sky.  Your legs tremble beneath you, they’re numb, and you feel them start to buckle-
Strong arms grab you from behind, wrapping protectively around your middle; hot breath hits the back of your neck. Cool metal from ringed fingers touches your skin, hugging your arms to your chest as you let out another heartbreaking wail.
“It’s me, it’s me, sweetheart."
Eddie.  Your best friend since you moved to this shitty town ten years ago. Your sweet, chaotic, beautiful Eddie.  Your legs finally give out and he gently cradles your back against his chest, resting his forehead against your bare shoulders, feeling the roughness of hard pavement as your bum hits the ground. Your head leans back against his shoulder, his curly hair tickling your cheek ever so softly.
“H-how…” You try to form words; they were caught in your throat; you weren’t even sure if you had a voice anymore.
You wanted to ask how he got to you so fast, and if he could hear you all the way from his trailer a mile away. You’re practically sitting in his lap; his calloused fingers gently smooth out your mess of waves in your hair. Your vision blurred with hot tears as you could feel the Earth shattering beneath you. His hands find your face, his fingers cup behind your ear as he turns your face to his gently.  Only the soft light from the front porch light illuminated his handsome features.  Eddie. Your Eddie.  His big brown eyes are wide as he stares at you, he looks terrified. He has never seen you this way before. You called him a few hours ago in the afternoon to tell him your mom had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery, that you had to stay home to wait by the phone for updates from your father and you would promise to call him when you knew more. You were supposed to go to his place to smoke some weed and order pizza, a traditional Thursday night thing for you both. You figured he probably wondered what was taking so long, it had been hours. And for as long as you have known Eddie Munson, he didn’t have much patience; it was hard for him to sit still. Your fingers twirl the ends of his hair as you try to focus on him. 
“Tell me.” He says quietly.
You can already see tears forming in his eyes, and you suddenly realize this is the closest you’ve ever been to him. Your noses were almost touching. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head from side to side, spitting and blubbering out more tears as the pain tightens its grip on your heart once more.
“I can’t.” You manage to gasp out. “Don’t…Eds, don’t make me say it.”
His hand cups over his mouth as he stares at you, realization settling on his face. 
“No…” He inhales sharply. “No, Y/N…there’s no way.” 
A memory flashes in your mind just then, a memory from only a few months ago.
You sat on the counter in the kitchen with your mom and Eddie as she made dinner. She was making his favorite chicken parmesan because it had been the five-year anniversary since he was no longer a suspect of those murders that had occurred that Spring. Your parents never believed he had anything to do with it, and it was your mother standing up for him at the town meeting that really helped his case, partially because the entire town was afraid of a hard-headed strong woman who grew up in South Boston, Massachusetts and also there was no evidence at any of the scenes of his involvement, or that he was a Satan worshipper.  The other kicker was that Jason had disappeared, and everyone just assumed he did it after that. However, it didn’t stop the town from calling the cops every time they saw him walking somewhere or blasting Metallica from his speakers in his trailer. When your mom had her back turned, he attempted to stick his finger in the boiling pot of homemade meat sauce. Your mother wasn’t stupid, you swore she had eyes on the back of her head. She poked him in the side with the ladle handle, causing him to yelp.
“Come on! Just one taste! I promise I won’t ask for anymore until it’s ready. I’m STARVING.” Eddie pleaded, giving her a pathetic puppy dog look. 
“Kid, get out of my kitchen. I’m not falling for that look again, I got stuck with you for ten years!” Your mother chuckles, stirring the sauce. 
“You got stuck with a very handsome, talented, super funny son you always wanted! Did I mention handsome?” He towers over her and had sweetly rested his head on her shoulder, giving her a goofy grin.  Your mother used the palm of her hand to push his face away and laughs.
“It’s my caring daughter’s fault for LITERALLY dragging you out of the mud that summer.” 
Eddie looks at you, his smile reaching his eyes. “Yeah, your daughter is pretty awesome.”
He winks at you, and you roll your eyes, trying to hide the heat rising to your cheeks. 
“Don’t kiss my ass, Munson.” Your mom laughs. “I’m sending you home a plate for your uncle, and you better give it to him this time!"
“He politely declined!”
“No he didn’t, you ate it on the way there!” You banter back at him. He whips his head around to look at you, his face falling in mock betrayal. 
“You are not my best friend anymore!” He wraps an arm around your mom’s shoulders and kisses the top of her head. “She’s my best friend now!”
You roll your eyes and laugh, hopping off the counter and making your way back to your room, but not before hearing your mother say this to Eddie:
"Everyone is out of their damn mind for not getting to know you or love you like we do. Jokes aside, honey, I can never ever replace your own mother, but I will make damn sure that you know that you can always come to me for anything.”
“Awww, Mrs. Y/L/N. Don’t make me blush-ow!” He laughs, you’re guessing she pinched him.
“I’m serious, Munson.” 
“I know, I know.” You can hear the smile in his tone. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.” 
You stare him now; he’s trying so hard not to cry. 
“Fuck.” His voice shakes and he pulls you into his arms for a hug.“Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.” 
Your fingers curl into the fabric of his Motley Crue t-shirt. Your mouth muffled by his shoulder.
“I’m sorry too.” You whimper. He hugs you tighter, and you can’t help but completely melt into his arms. 
Your father had left the house the same night. Your mom’s brother lived an hour away, who was completely beside himself over the loss of his little sister. You could see that your father was exhausted, that he was tired of making fall calls and answering the phone. You could tell he wanted to go see his brother-in-law. He was already talking about arrangements, and you pretty much forced him to go see your uncle, that the arrangements could wait and that everyone needed to clear their head because she had just died. You assured him that Eddie didn’t plan on going anywhere and that she wasn’t going to be alone, that Wayne was aware of what had happened and knew where he was.
Tumblr media
You sat on the floor of your living room an hour after your father had left. The rotary phone was at your hip, the receiver at your ear before you slammed it down and yanked the cord from the wall. You were over the phone calls too. The cops were called, apparently a neighbor had saw Eddie “lurking” around your house and assumed that was the cause of your screaming.  You were too pissed, too grief stricken, too exhausted to bite your tongue. You had snapped at Office Hopper, but as always, he handled your snapping as graciously as he always did.
“Who was it?” You snapped. “Mrs. Hansen, right? That bitch always had a problem with us because my mother was so outspoken. She could never say shit to her face but would say it to our other neighbors. Well, guess what Kathy! SHE’S DEAD NOW!” You scream out your front door, Eddie’s hands were on your shoulders, gently pulling you back in the doorway.
“Easy, easy.” He mutters in your ear. 
“Y/N. There’s no need to yell, I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss, but when we get a call that is concerning like that, we have—"
“Why is he still being targeted as the town freak? He has done nothing wrong, ever! We’re not in school anymore, we’re practically grown-ups. We work, we play nerdy games, and we listen to music. Come on, Hop. You know she didn’t call over concern for me. She hates me.”
Hopper sighs, taking off his hat. “You have to be respectful to your neighbors. You know this. Especially…” He lowers his voice and leans closer to you. “Especially the ones who call when a cat shits on their lawn.” 
A smile tugs at your lips, and your face softens. 
“Get some rest kid. Let us know if you need anything.” He glances at Eddie. “Take care of her, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Eddie nods. “Yeah, I know Hop. Thanks.” He says softly.
You shut the door quietly and lock it. You glance at the clock, not believing it was after midnight. You comb your fingers through your knotted hair.
“I’m going to wash up. I need to scrub this fucking night off me.” 
He nods at you, and you gently squeeze his hand as you walk by him into the bathroom. Eddie watches as you walk away, his breath hitching as soon as you close the bathroom door. He runs his hands through his hair and shudders. Eddie was usually pretty good with his words, most of the time he could never stop talking, but tonight, he had none. He had no idea how to comfort you, he had no idea what to say, or what to do. He loved your mother.  That woman took him in like her own with no questions asked and it got to a point where Wayne would offer her money, which she would always refuse. She was the only one besides Wayne to defend him after the murders and all the bullshit with Hellfire. You had told him that Hopper had to practically restrain her from punching one of the mechanics who wanted to go on a witch hunt to find you; you told him you had never seen Hopper so scared for another human being.  Eddie has tears form in his eyes and he quickly swallows them back, groaning quietly from the stinging and aching in his chest. Your mother treated him like a son, and he knows he would never feel that again and that hurt. It also hurt that Eddie had never told her how he felt about you, how for so many years he would be brave enough to pull her aside and say something but would pussy out last minute. Eddie wanted your mother’s approval. It had been like that for ten years. Yeah, he slept around, wasn’t a virgin by any means, but none of them ever stuck. All those girls, those women, he always wished it was you. He loved you; he loved you so much, but now, he wasn’t sure if he could ever tell you.
You peel off your clothes after you begin filling the bath, you stare at yourself in the mirror. You look like you aged fifteen years in a few hours. Blood shot eyes, hair a wild mess, cheeks crimson from all the screaming and tears. You sigh as you step into the bath, the water hot and you wince as you feel every muscle unclench as you slide into the porcelain, until just your head is exposed above the water. You stare up at the tile on the ceiling, marking each corner that had cobwebs that you made a mental note to clean. You close your eyes, inhaling a breath as you sink your whole face under the water. The sounds are muffled, the sound of the faucet still filling the tub vibrates around you.  You wonder what it felt like, what she felt. Did her heart stop first? Or her brain? Did she know she was going to die? You open your eyes underwater, your chest clenches again and you stop holding your breath. Your mother’s lifeless face flashes in your mind and you gasp in water, quickly lifting yourself up, knocking over the shampoo bottles. You sputter and cough out the water you had just inhaled. Tears spring to your eyes and you begin to sob and suddenly felt so, so alone.
“Eddie.”  You groan out, but your voice felt small. “Eddie!” You call again, the tears still spilling. 
You hear a shuffling of footsteps outside the bathroom door, and a soft knock. “Are you alright in there?”
You had forgotten you were naked and submerged in water as you lean forward to turn the faucet off. You felt insanely vulnerable, but you needed to clean yourself up. You just didn’t want to be alone.  You bring your knees up to your chest, resting your cheek on your knee, doing your best to cover your breasts and torso. The lower half of your body was hidden by the soap bubbles. 
“You can come in.” You tell him meekly, wiping away the hot tears.
You knew he hesitated, it took him a few moments to respond. “Are-are you sure?”
“Yes, I just need…I just need someone in here with me.” 
The latch on the door clicks open, and he slowly pushes it open with his toe. His eyes were already averted to the ceiling as he walked in, trying his best to be respectful. 
“You can look at me, Eddie. It’s okay.” Wow, you thought to yourself, you were feeling brave.
A blush rises to his cheeks, and he meets your eyes, breathing a sigh of relief when he could only see your bare shoulders, legs and back. He sits on the floor next to the bathtub, leaning his back against the wall and looks at the side of your face. 
“Talk to me.” He says sweetly, resting his chin against the lip of the porcelain.
He watches you make the washcloth swim back and forth in front of you, and he gently leans towards your hands, taking the cloth from you. He waits for you to say something, but you don’t. He takes the small bottle of body wash and squirts a glob of it on the cloth, gently massaging it into the fabric. Your heart was racing, and you hear him inhale a shaky breath. He kneels up a little, the warm washcloth hits your skin so gently as he carefully traces circles around your shoulders. You shudder, a warmness settling in your tummy. 
“What am I gonna do?” You say quietly, tears burn your eyes again and you groan, you were tired of the tears.
Eddie swallows hard, gently moving a piece of your hair back to wash your neck. This felt foreign to you, this semi-erotic moment of him touching you like this, so sweetly, so gently. Your Eddie.
“I don’t know.” He says to you. “I wish I did, but I don’t.” 
You lift your head to look at him, seeing a blush creeping up as the hills of your breasts are exposed. You watch him as he concentrates on your back, gently moving the cloth up your neck, your eyes flutter close. He dips the washcloth in the water and squeezes out the excess, pausing before moving his way towards your lower back.
“You know whatever you need, I’m here. Okay?” He tells you and you nod. He gently wipes away an exposed tear from your cheek. “You’re kind of stuck with me at this point.” 
Your face scrunches up in mock annoyance and he laughs, you chuckle. “Yeah, I know. Thank you.” 
He's looking into your eyes now and your eyes dart to his lips, before looking back into his eyes. He quickly glances away to finish washing your back and you turn your body towards him so suddenly, water splashes up and he drops the washcloth. You don’t know where this feeling came from, how you just wanted to continue to be touched by him, be loved by him. Was it the grief? You weren’t sure, but you sure as hell wanted to feel something else besides the fucking horrendous pain. Your hands are on his shoulders, the wetness from you dampened the ends of his hair as he stared at you with wide eyes. 
“What are you doing?” He whispers, his hands reaching up to cup your wrists.
You could tell he didn’t want to overstep, and he kept his eyes just on you, your eyes. He was a gentleman in all the right ways; but he desperately wanted to look at your body. You were fully exposed to him besides your lower half, and he had dreamt of a moment like this. Your hands touch his cheeks, your nose barely grazes his.
“Kiss me, please?” You say quietly, and his breath hitches.
His hand cups the back of your wet hair, pulling you towards him slightly as your breathing picks up. You could feel him tremble as you lean closer, your breasts pressing against the coolness from the porcelain, your nipples hardening at the contact. You push your mouth onto his, his plush lips as soft as you imagined they would be. He uses his other hand to cup your neck, you opened his mouth with yours, feeling his tongue enter your mouth so carefully. You were kissing your best friend. You were kissing your best friend. You were kissing Eddie. Your Eddie.
You wrap both arms around his shoulders, and his hands wraps around your middle. He was getting comfortable, years and years of his love for you was spilling out in this exact moment. You feel him lift you so easily out of the tub, awkwardly stumbling into the wall. Not realizing how strong he was, he grabs your ass, hoisting you up to wrap your legs around his waist. You could feel his clothes soaking from the contact of your wet skin and could feel the wetness that pooled between your legs as he kept kissing you, blindly searching for the handle of the door. The cool air from the living room air conditioner hits your bare skin, causing gooseflesh to prickle all over you. You push your body against his more, deepening the kiss and he groans, bumping into everything you both contacted. Pictures became crooked on the walls, you heard something tip over from a few of the shelves, and you finally make it to your bedroom door. Your back hits it a little roughly, and he pulls away from you to catch his breath before pressing his mouth to yours again and he finds the doorknob with one hand as the other continues to hold you up. You both fall to your bed with an oomph, you start laughing hard because your head had clunked against the headboard, and he looks at you with wide eyes.
“Shit.” He breathes out, pulling away from your lips and laughs. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” 
You smile at him and nod, your lips pulsating from the kissing. He smiles down at you, rubbing your cheek, your hair, his hand gently smooths its way down your bare arms, towards your hips. He’s still looking at you, wanting to make sure it was okay for him to really see you before going further. You rub his cheek, and he leans into it, gently kissing your palm as he hovers above you. He was still trembling, and you take his hand, placing it on your skin below your breast. His calloused fingers squeeze the spot gently, his fingers barely grazing the underside of it as you watch his throat bob. He leans towards you and kisses your lips gently, leaning back on his heels as his eyes dart over your body. You bend your knees ever so slightly; he places his hands on your knees and kneels between your legs. He lets out a sigh and smiles sweetly at you and pulls off his shirt. His fingers trace a soft line over your ribs, he makes circles over your navel, the soft skin at your hips. 
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers to you, he chuckles awkwardly. “I mean, you’ve always been beautiful to me, not that just your body is beautiful. Your face is beautiful too, and your heart. All of you, everything—”
“Eddie, take a deep breath.” You smile, moving your palm up his torso and cupping his cheek.
He laughs, inhaling deeply, and places both hands on the side of your head as he leans down, your legs wrap around his jeans, feeling his eager bulge through the zipper. He kisses you softly, pulling away to look into your eyes. You could see tears form at the corners of eyes and you hold his face in your hand.
“What? What is it?”
He sighs, leaning up on his elbow. “For so many years, I wanted to tell your mom something that had been eating at me.” He groans, a single tear falls down his cheek and you wipe it away. “I wanted to tell her how insanely in love with you I was…I am.”
Your eyes widen at his confession, your heart does a back flip, and you feel your own tears prickle your eyes. 
“I know it doesn’t mean much now, because she’s gone…fuck.” More tears spill from his eyes, you wipe them away, he holds your hand to his cheek. “I loved her. I loved her so much and she became a mother to me at a time when I really needed her, and she always told me I could tell her anything. I should’ve told her how I felt about you sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
Your heart broke for him. You knew how much he really did love your mom. Their relationship was for sure that of a mother and son. He had called her one night from the Hideout in the middle of the night because he got into a fight with a stupid townie and she’d bring him back to your house, cleaning up his wounds and comforting him. One night he had fallen asleep on your couch from a night of too much drinking, and she tucked him in, placing a large cooking pot next to him in case he had to puke. She would do so many motherly things for him that he wasn’t used to, and once he was finally comfortable enough to accept those gestures, he felt like a little boy again.  You bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling and you give him a smile.
“I think she knew.” You curl your fingers through his hair.
“How?” He asks you.
“I never really thought much about it at the time, but she would throw subtle ‘son in law’ jokes at me and I would just ignore her. Because you were my best friend, there was no way you’d feel any other way than that. Or so I thought.” 
You trace an outline on his lips with your finger. “You love me?”
He nods, not bothering to wipe another stray tear away. “More than you know.” 
“I love you, too.” You tell him softly and he smiles.
“Yeah? You sure?”
You roll your eyes, tugging a piece of his hair and he yelps. “Don’t make me take it back.”
He laughs, caressing your face with the back of his hand, smoothing out your wet hair. He leans down, kissing you softly. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him onto you, he lets out a hot breath as you push your tongue in his mouth. His hands travel down the dip in your shoulder, down the middle of your chest and stops on the curve of your breast. You feel the coolness of his metal ring against your skin, your nipple hardens, and you gasp in his mouth when you feel his fingers gently pinch the hardened bud. His mouth finds your throat, leaving kissing trails down to your shoulders, still pinching and squeezing your breasts as you squirm beneath him. His mouth takes your nipple in his mouth, and you hear him softly moan as he gently bites down. His tongue swirls around the bud and sucks, and you arch your back. His hand travels down your navel and over your sex. You whimper when you feel his fingers spread your lips apart and he runs a finger over your clit. He pulls away from your breast and kisses you hungrily, his fingers tracing circles around your clit, pushing down and he smirks against your lips when you let out a loud moan. No one has ever taken their time with you; you have only had sex with two men in your life and it was always you finishing them off first and them being “too tired” to return the favor. Eddie knew what he was doing, you knew this wasn’t his first rodeo, and you desperately wanted to know what else he could do. He pulls away from your lips, licking and kissing a trail all the way down to your navel. He leans back on his heels, and your eyes widen at the outline of his hardened cock beneath his jeans. He places his fingers in his mouth, sucking off the taste of you and you squirm at how sexy he looked. You bend your knees and open your legs wider. 
“Damn.” He mutters, scooting back to lay in front of your dripping cunt. He wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you closer to his face. “You really are beautiful.”
He kisses your clit gently, you arch your back, gripping at the sheets beneath you. His tongue swirls around the sensitive nerves, and he sucks on it, letting out a loud groan. It vibrated your entire body, and you moan. His fingers press into the meat of your thighs as he buries his face closer, his tongue lapping at your hole as you could already feel yourself about to burst. You grip his hair, tugging on it hard, which sends him into a frenzy, and you feel two fingers slide their way into you. 
“Eddie…”  
You moan his name, and he begins to pump those fingers into you, pressing against the sponginess of your g-spot. He continues to devour your clit and you lean up on your elbows to watch him. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe that your best friend of ten years was doing these things to you.  Your Eddie.  He pulls away from your clit, feeling you clench around his fingers, and he slinks his way back up your body, his chin wet and dripping of you. He kisses you passionately, you moan at the taste of yourself, and he continues pumping his fingers in and out. His thumb finds your clit and rubs circles, you hold onto his shoulders as he kisses you, feeling yourself close to release. He pulls away from your lips for a moment.
“Come on, baby. I know you can cum for me.” His voice was lower, almost deeper.
Those words almost sent you over the edge, words you never in a million years thought would come out of his mouth. He pumps harder and groans as your hand finds his cock through his jeans and you rub your hand over the material. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and he lets out a hot breath against your neck, whimpering at the sheer intensity and passion.
“Fuck, Eddie…”  
You moan out in pleasure and he groans against your neck. You feel the pressure building and building in your lower belly and you cling onto him as your orgasm rips through you and you cry out. He keeps his fingers inside of you, riding the orgasm out with you, the overstimulation was insanely uncomfy but as he kept pumping into you, you eased into another hard orgasm and your body shook beneath him. He slides his fingers out of you, you catch your breath as you continue to cling onto him. His hands grip your hip, and he looks at you, a smile creeping on his lips. You sigh, crashing your lips against his, unbuttoning his jeans hurriedly and sliding them off. His lips graze against your ear lobe and you roll him onto his back with your legs and he giggles. You laugh, kissing his lips, his neck and you lean up on your heels. His hands hold onto your hips.  The length of him was almost intimidating, you bite your bottom lip and take him in your hands, gently moving your fist up and down. He lets out a deep groan and his eyes squeeze shut, arching his back. You rub his precum over his tip and he shivers, you move your head towards his cock and glance up at him. He looks at you with half lidded eyes and you lick a long strip from the base all the way to the tip, taking him into your mouth. 
“Oh…oh my, unghhh—”  
A loud, throaty moan escapes him, surprising you both and you both laugh. He covers his face with both his hands shyly, slightly embarrassed by the sound he just made. You kiss his tip, licking down his shaft and he whimpers. He grips the back of your head as you bob up and down, taking him all in, rubbing his balls to get him to squirm. He let out a low growl, a sound so animalistic and sexy you couldn’t believe you were the cause.  He wanted to feel you, he wanted to be inside you and couldn’t wait any longer. He pulls at your hair, lifting your head up, your lips were swollen and wet with spit. 
“Come here.” He says breathlessly. “Now.”
You crawl up to him, his lips catch yours in a passionate kiss. You were trembling now as you lined yourself up with his length. He cups the back of your head, sweetly pecking your lips as his other hand grips at your hips. You keep your face close to his, your lips barely touching as you lower yourself onto his cock. He squeezes your hips, throwing his head back into the pillow and lets out a throaty groan. You whimper as you take him all in, slowly rocking your hips to get used to the size of him as he stretches you out.
“Are you okay?” He whispers to you, lifting his arm up to cup your cheek. 
You nod, pleasure was building in your belly as you grind against him, your clit rubs generously on his pelvis. You look into his eyes, running your hand up his chest, over his tattoos, tracing his lips with your fingers. You insert two fingers into his mouth, which he takes willingly and sucks. You move your hips up and then down, hard. His moan vibrates on your fingers as you rock faster against him; you remove your fingers and begin playing with yourself with that same hand as he watches you in awe. He arches his hips into you, and you cry out, your head falling back, he caresses and pinches your nipples.  You lean forward, using the headboard as support to continue your movement. His tongue traces circles around your nipple, sucking hard and squeezing both with his hands. He moves onto the next one, you moan louder into his ear, and he grabs your ass, burying his cock deeper into you. 
In one swift motion, he flips you on your back. His eyes stare into your soul, and you kiss him. He kisses you back with the same hungriness from earlier, taking your leg and moving it onto his shoulder as he thrusts into you.  An insanely pornographic sound escapes your lungs, and he smiles against your lips. He leans up slightly to stare at your face, you were biting your bottom lip, and your eyes burn into him, and he could feel his heart growing bigger and bigger for you in that moment. You grab his perfect ass with your legs to push him further into you and he arches back; your lips go to his throat, gently nibbling on it and licking all over. Your orgasm was building in your belly, and by the way he was slowing down and getting a little clumsy, he was close too. 
You pull his face towards you by the back of his head. “Fuck me.” You tell him through gritted teeth.
His beautiful brown eyes dilate, and you see the pure lust take over in his stare. He leans back on his heels, pulling himself out of you and you frown, he pulls you towards him hard by your thighs, his fingers for sure going to leave lovely bruises. But you didn’t care.  Before you could make another comment, he slams his cock into you, and you scream out. He holds onto your hips, rolling his against yours at a hard pace, you swear you could see all the fucking colors of the rainbow. 
“Fuuuuck…”  He moans out. “Oh fuck-I’m gonna—”
“Don’t stop, Eddie.”  You whimper, his cock slamming into your g-spot over and over was making you forget your name. 
You move your hands down and find your clit, rubbing vigorously against it as your cunt clenches against his cock. He watches you rub yourself, a smile toys on his lips as he stares in wonder at you, he felt as if he was fucking a goddess.
“Oh god…”
“Cum with me, baby. I want to feel you.”  
He groans loud, and that was enough to send you screaming, and crying out his name as you came all over his cock. You grip the sheets under you, still cumming hard and he slams faster into you, the bed squeaks and the headboard bangs into the wall and he sputters. 
“Oh…my…unnngh.”  
He slams into you once more, you could feel the warmness settle in your cunt as he came inside you, feeling his cock twitching as he slowed his pace and cried out, collapsing onto your chest. He rolls his hips against you and shudders. The two of you lay there in a pile of limbs, heavy breathing, and sweat. He lifts his head up to look at you, smoothing out your still wet hair, and presses his lips to yours. Your tongue goes into his mouth, and he moans softly, cupping the back of your head, deepening the kiss. He slides out of you gently, and pulls away from you, laying on his back. His hand rested on your thigh, and you could feel him dripping from you; you needed a minute. Or several. 
“Well,” he says breathlessly. “I’ve never done that with you before.” 
You weakly slap his chest and laugh loudly; tears prickle your eyes as you feel another laugh roll out until you’re full-blown cackling. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you laugh harder. He shakes his head, laughing with you, turning onto his side to rub your tummy gently. Your laugh was one of the things he loved about you because it was so contagious, and that this was the first time today he could see pure happiness on your face. 
“I’m sorry.” You manage to say, your laugh still rolling out of you. “I don’t know why I’m laughing so hard. Oh wait, I do, you’re a fucking idiot and I love you.” 
He laughs, kissing your cheek. “No going back now.”
“No.” You say, catching your breath, bringing your palm up to his cheek. “Never.” 
He kisses your lips, your cheeks, your neck and leans up on his elbows. “My clothes are soaked.”
“I’ll put them in the wash.” You kiss his nose, slowly sitting up in bed, you could already feel the soreness between your legs. “I’m pretty sure my mom folded a bunch of your clothes you left here the other day.” You pause and turn to look at him. 
“Of course she did.” He says with a sweet smile, tracing your spine with the tip of his finger. “Do you want me to go get them?”
You knew he only asked because the washer and dryer were in her little den with her vanity mirror. 
“Uh, no. It’s okay.” You give him a smile. You go into your dresser, pulling out underwear and your oversized Queen tour t-shirt you got in 1987. Your mom had bought the tickets for you and Eddie; Eddie was indeed a total metal head, but he had a soft spot for Queen, probably because you loved them so much. You throw on the clothes and turn when you feel his eyes on you.
“What?” You ask, a blush creeping up on your cheeks as you stare at his naked body.
His right arm, which was covered in a full tattoo sleeve, was bent behind his head as he looks at you. 
“Nothing.” He smiles sweetly. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. Around us.”
You lean over to him to kiss him, he holds your head,, leaving lots of pecks around your cheeks and lips, causing you to giggle. You pull away, turning around to grab his mess of clothes on the floor, throwing his dry boxers to him. He takes this opportunity to smack your ass and you yelp. You narrow your eyes at him, and pull out his chain wallet, snapping it open, pulling out some cash, you could only make out a few ten-and one-dollar bills. 
“I’m taking this.” You tell him, shoving the bills into your underwear. 
“Pretty cheap date, don’t ya think?” He laughs, pulling his boxers over his hips as your face falls into mock shock, you pull out the cash and throw it at his face, causing him to laugh harder.
You shake your head, leaving the room, heading towards your mother’s den. You slow your walking down as you meet the closed door. The grief starts to creep up again, your hand trembles as you reach for the doorknob. You twist the knob and push it open. An aroma of peach, rose and slight Sandalwood hit your nostrils and you have to hold onto the wall for support, blindly finding the light switch. The light is bright, and you squint, your eyes already filling with tears as the scent of your mother was everywhere in this room. Her vanity sat perched against the wall, the wood was a soft amber color. She had rebuilt this vanity after getting it from a garage sale a few years ago. You gently run your hand over the fabric of her sweater that hung behind the chair she always sat at; whether to do her make up, or randomly sketch some drawings in her sketch book. You pull your hand away as if burned, and you quickly go to the washing machine, tossing Eddie’s clothes in as well as some dirty ones that were in the basket.  You see his folded clothes on top of the dryer, your heart hurt with how right you were and how she would never fold his clothes again.  You groan, looking over the clothes, sniffling. You take out his Metallica tour t-shirt, and his black jeans. You exit her room after shutting off the light and quietly shut the door.  Eddie was strumming at your acoustic as you walk back in, smiling at you at you hand him the clothes. He sees the tears in your eyes and immediately puts the guitar back on the stand.
He takes your hand, “What happened?”
You shake your head, trying to smile. “Nothing…it’s nothing. I’m okay. Can we go to bed?” 
He looks you over once with concern and nods, gently kissing the top of your hand. You crawl into bed, leaning over him to turn off the light on your nightstand. You curl up next to him, burying your face in his chest. He wraps his arms around you, pulling the blanket over the both of you. You feel his lips kiss your hair and you sigh. All the sadness, all the grief had fallen away as he held you and you wished you could stay like that forever.
Tumblr media
As if the universe was working against you, you woke up screaming. You were covered in sweat and tears pooled from your eyes as a panic attack settled deep in your chest. You sat up, leaning against the headboard, bringing your knees up to your chest as you scream out a sob. Eddie had woken up immediately, feeling you thrash around before you woke up. Dawn was approaching, and he flicks the light on. He kneels in front of you, placing both of his hands on the side of your head.
“Hey, hey, look at me, I’m right here.”
The dream you had replays over and over in your head like a broken record. You let out a painful groan, holding onto your stomach as you to try to speak and to calm your breathing before you hyperventilated. 
“She…she was right there. Right in front me.” You tell him, your voice choking with sobs. “Right there! She was so close to me and I tried to reach for her hand but she kept moving away from me, and I ran to her. I ran so fast, but she just kept going further and further away until I couldn’t see her. And then she was gone. She was gone.”
You cry, hard, and he takes you in his arms, hugging you as you wept. You wail and he tightens his hold on you, gently rocking you as you gripped onto his arms.
“I’m not ready for this.” 
“I know.” His voice trembles, smoothing out your hair. “You don’t have to be ready for something like this.”
“Why did she leave me?” You whimper, your entire body shakes.
“Why was she taken away from us!? Oh god…” 
He kisses your head, your cheek, finds your lips and kisses them softly. 
“Please don’t leave me.” You choke out. “Please.”
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise you.”
“Don’t leave me.” You cry, holding onto him for dear life. He rocks you and you cry. You weren’t ready for the coming days, you weren’t ready to keep feeling this sorrow phone call after phone call, hug after hug, tear after tear. You weren’t ready for today. You weren’t ready for tomorrow. You weren’t ready. You weren't ready.
186 notes · View notes
donnadsltwmart · 3 months
Text
Bunnie Xo Jelly Roll I made you something and I hope it is ok. Wishing they could be there. ♥️ #jellyrollofficial #JellyRoll #bunnie #wishyouwerehere #RIP #mom #dad #parentloss
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
kandicekelso · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Wyatt went on a field trip today... and this was the name of the flower he was sent home with... #itsthelittlethings #griefsupport #parentloss #findingpeace — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/sm9O42S
0 notes
dausy · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I did try to upload a few days ago but tumblr erased my entire post twice and I got mad. This last month and a half has been extremely rough on us and the year started off badly. We lost our 8+ year old cat, Remi. We don't actually know how old he was. Vet thinks def probably 10+. He was an adult when he showed up on my husbands porch before I met my husband. He had a blood clot with a very poor prognosis. Weird thing is a coworkers brother-in-law died of the exact same blood clot a few weeks ago. The blood clot announcement to me was completely out of left field and I was unprepared for that but it was extremely text book. We were very shocked and hurt.
My husband entered grief-coma mode for a few days. His mom is here this weekend as support and its also my husbands birthday. We received my husbands dads ashes yesterday in the mail. We will get Remis probably here in the next few days.
So I have been trying to stay busy. I've done a lot of cleaning, in which many tears were shed because I keep finding evidence of Remi everywhere. I've done a little art and a lot of work. I do plan on trying to bake my first ever tiered cake for my husbands birthday. So theres that. I am waiting for jacksons art supply to restock so I can put in another mini paint order.
6 notes · View notes
jamie-willhite · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2 notes · View notes
pingsweetie · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
It’s been 4 years, finally that big ball #grief has pretty much woven in to my #lifesrichtapestry life will be brighter and happier by contrast. I can talk about it now and I’m moving on #bereavement #parentloss #livelife #livelifetothefullest #madewithpaper #wetransfer https://www.instagram.com/p/CB9CvYThqYn/?igshid=1wa824cw1yuxs
5 notes · View notes
wandereroftherealms · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
Christmas is 20 days away, and I find myself dreading it the closer it gets. So I drew for the last hour and a half to process my grief. (the top right sketch was made back in March)
l. Christmas night, 2018. That was the last time I saw you. We said our "see you later, love you bye's", but when you closed the door, I felt a knot of fear build, and twist in my gut, I put it behind me, and told myself I was overthinking it. Little did I know that a month later, we lost you.
ll. In nearly two years, I have only had two dreams that would be considered "good" about you. The rest of them, I can't begin to explain how horrible the nightmares would be, and I think I will leave details out of this.
lll. I keep your cube in a cube either on my bookshelf or at my desk while I work. Sometimes it helps me focus, other times I'll hold it, and remember the grin on your face when you first made it, and how proud you were.
IV. I recently bought a trunk, to keep everything that reminds me of you in one space, sometimes I'll open it, and look at the keys you carried, go through the pictures of you from your childhood, up to when you and Mom were still married and lived in NY. I thought it would bring me peace, it does sometimes, but I find that I cry most of the time when I open it, I don't want to, but maybe it's what I needed to feel.
-I used to love Christmas, the joy of seeing family, and friends over the holidays, and spending time with everyone, seeing the lights, the tree, christmas movies, music, etc. Now, I want to step away, and be alone for that day. It's nothing against my family, and I know that wouldn't be fair to them either, it's just a lot of pain that comes back, and it's very difficult to process while trying to keep it together for everyone.
Maybe one day I will be able to enjoy Christmas again, it would take a long time, but I have people in my life that I love, and I want to be able to be there and celebrate with them, it's just going to take time.
1 note · View note
sineadshinelight · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
Helpless, hopeless and alone What did grief leave you with? ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #grief #griefandloss #grievingmother #griefawareness #grief-journey #griefquotes #griefrecovery #griefsucks #griefsupport #grieving #grievingprocess #healing #lifeafterloss #livingwithloss #loss #lossofalovedone #memorialart #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #parentloss #childloss #pregnancyjourney #pregnancylosssupport #therapy https://www.instagram.com/p/CmznI7ysUvg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
2 notes · View notes
chubblygurl · 4 years
Text
Introduction..or warning..bit of both.
My name is Sophie and I’ll be honest I feel a bit odd sitting here writing a post to basically nobody as I have no followers but feel like I need somewhere to write my inner dialogue and hold myself accountable for letting myself get so big.
Now I know people hate to hear excuses and reasons when deep down the biggest reason for my weight is most likely laziness and a big appetite but I just need to forewarn anybody who does decide to follow you will hear about childhood cancer, bullying, anxiety, losing a parent, losing a baby and scariest of them all...marriage!! So if these are topics that make you shiver then this blog won’t be for you because my life has the lot and more.
Today is approximately the 936th first day of turning my life around. The only difference this time is public posting about it and the fact I’m actually scared to get any bigger. I’m 25, 5ft 2 and weigh about 17 stone and 7lbs. It’s a Tuesday today so I’m going to weigh in each Tuesday. I’m going to go with a hybrid of diets as I’m kinda doing slimming world, batch cooking and sticking to sensible portion sizes. I’ll be posting food pictures and snippets of my past, present and hopefully healthy future too.
If anyone is still reading, Hi, it’s nice to meet you and I look forward to being friends 😚
1 note · View note
measuringlife · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
I don’t need a Hallmark holiday to remind me that I miss my Dad. I’m hyper aware that it’s been almost 13 years since I last hugged him or talked to him. . Over the last few years I appreciate the social acknowledgment that Mothers Day or Fathers Day can be hard for people for all the reasons listed above, reasons not listed, and combinations of them. . While we have no plans to have children, as an adult in my late 30s I have many friends struggling with fertility. I also have more friends and peers joining the dead parents club. It all sucks. . If today isn’t all rainbows and butterflies for you either, I see you. I hope you do something for yourself today. I’m snuggling with the dog watching 90 Day Fiancé! . #deaddadsclub #parentloss #fatherlessdaughters #grief #fathersday https://www.instagram.com/p/CBs_AqaBn1U/?igshid=d5lus4zvpmzp
1 note · View note
coldknuckles · 5 years
Text
it’s so hard. going on everyday, like everything is normal. like i’m just normal. and it’s even harder to be normal when i see it everyday. i see the body bags. i see the lights. i see the drugs. and every fucking day i feel the gut-wrenching regret of not doing anything to stop it. Brittany, I should’ve called an ambulance the day before, i should’ve pushed my truck out of the ice, i should have made you stay home. I was the last person to see you alive. You died in front of my eyes. We had so many plans. We were gonna prove everyone wrong. I fucking miss you man. I fucking miss you so much. And Bud, i’m so fucking sorry man. I’m so sorry my mom got her claws in you. I’m sorry she enabled you. I wish you had had the life you deserved. i love
4 notes · View notes
thegriefblog-blog · 5 years
Text
Nights are the hardest, I'm the most in my head and thinking of those I've lost. Thankful for the ones I still have around me but terrified I will lose them as well. Sept 4th, 2019.
2 notes · View notes
donnadsltwmart · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
#matthewmcconaughey I made you something of your father and I hope you like it. In loving memory of James Donald "Jim" McConaughey. #dad #matthew #rip #mcconaughey #jim #son #loss #dadloss #parentloss #miss #restinpeace #inlovingmemory #texas
0 notes