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#one of those people who likely doesn’t love having his picture taken even at the best of times
marquisecubey · 3 months
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wish you were here
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criminalamnesia · 3 months
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everyone’s asking for a part two so here is more angst bc cedar by gracie abrams is perfect for this [ also inspired by what @shotmrmiller said in their reblog :)) ]
part one here
part three (aka version 1 of the ending) here
part three (ending version 2) here
it’s odd coming home to an empty house. unnerving, even. he doesn’t like it— dislikes it even more than he did your celebrations. fuck, he’d kill for those damn streamers right now.
“love?” his voice is soft as he calls out into the dark, once lively little flat. it hasn’t felt this big since before you had moved in.
he takes a few more steps inside, toeing off his boots and letting his backpack fall to the floor. by now, you would’ve been launching yourself into his arms. where were you? you’d never missed the day he came home. ever. you would have it marked on your calendar from the day he left, exclamation points and stars decorating the date.
“love?” he calls again, his voice a little louder. he keeps moving; notices there’s no smell of freshly baked goods or a home-cooked meal.
he rounds the corner, his eyes instantly finding the little note propped up on the dining table. eyebrows furrowed, he approaches. it’s addressed to him, clearly in your handwriting.
he reads it, and he really should’ve seen all of this coming.
he doesn’t cry. doesn’t even feel sad, really. it’s not like he hadn’t loved you— he had, but sometimes you made it really damn difficult to. your constant touches and words, doting on him, talking his ear off about this and that. he’d loved it at first, then came to tolerate it, and eventually he found himself hating it.
it wasn’t fair to you. he didn’t hate you, he hated the naivety. the unconditional love. partners were supposed to show each other that kind of love, were they not? so why did he come to despise it?
perhaps it was some deep rooted self-hatred. something dark and twisted inside of him that had done too much and taken life. killed and killed and killed. watched his comrades die in a number of ways. slowly. quickly. suddenly. brutally.
it hollowed him out, but it was his job. it was his job to do what he could for the damn world— get his hands dirty so people like you would never have to worry about a damn thing.
he should’ve seen it coming. you had been acting a little odd the last time he was home, he realizes now. detached, almost. quieter. he had cherished the quiet then.
now it was weird. he didn’t know how to feel.
he placed the note back down onto the table before making his way into the kitchen. some utensils were missing. some plates and bowls. the colorful dishrags you’d hung from the stove handle. the little plant you’d stationed in front of the window above the sink.
all the pictures of the two of you remained on the fridge. he could see in the photos how he slowly became detached. but you— god, you wore that dazzling smile in every photo.
he turned around and headed towards the bedroom.
——————————————————————
there wasn’t really any defining closure. you’d left the note, sure, but he hadn’t gotten to speak his piece.
would he have begged you to stay? told you to leave?
he didn’t know. all he knew was that it wasn’t fair to you, how he acted. what he did.
he also knew that if you called, or if you showed up and said you forgot something, or hell, if he saw you on the street, he’d say something. apologize at least, because that’s the least you deserved.
but you didn’t, and after a few days, he stopped thinking about you. what you’d be telling him right now if you were there. stopped thinking about how you sang when you cooked dinner. how you would reach for his hand when the two of you were in the grocery store.
how you would throw those damn ‘welcome home!’ parties.
he fell back into who he was, and your memory became nothing but a minuscule dot on a large piece of paper.
but for you? you had been miserable when you’d shown up at your friends apartment. cried into her shoulder as you told her about the note. sobbed as you realized that he didn’t care about you, and how you’d wasted so much time on this man who didn’t give a damn.
but even still, when you stirred in the middle of the night, you expected to feel his hands around your body. expected him to press a kiss to your head as you drifted back to sleep.
you woke up and expected him to be there. you forgot that he wasn’t yours. you found yourself missing him, even though you’d starting doing that far before you actually left.
it took the man you loved days to move on. it took you months— almost a year. he put you in fucking therapy, for god’s sake, because that shit messes with someone.
loving someone so completely, so wholly, only to finally realize it’s one sided? it’s crushing. he crushed you. but you picked up the pieces, and you put yourself back together.
you move on. find someone who actually cares for you— someone who communicates and doesn’t lose interest. someone who appreciates your enthusiasm. someone who returns it.
and when the man that broke your heart several years ago tries to stop you on the street one day,
you keep walking.
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formulafics · 2 months
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❀ NEW DESIRE | MV1
SCENARIO: you and max are childhood friends. despite claiming a platonic relationship - or rather, not claiming a romantic one, fans are certain that there’s more to what you both have, especially when max openly simps for you on streams, and most definitely when his private account gets leaked.
PAIRING: max verstappen x fem!reader
AN: i am so sorry this has taken me so long to get to! that being said, i hope you still enjoy it! thank you for your patience and your request 🫶🏻 also i did use google translate for the dutch part so if you speak dutch im so sorry LMFAO
as always, a shoutout to @renarots because these fics truly would not be as good without their input. <3
if you saw me change the title, no you didn’t
MASTERLIST
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YNLN on Instagram stories
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grandprixsandgossip on instagram
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14,567 likes
grandprixsandgossip for a long time, fans of max verstappen have questioned his relationship with childhood friend yn ln. recently, the formula one drivers’ private instagram account posts were leaked after a fan somehow was accepted to follow his private account, which features many pictures of him and yn, dating all the way back to 2014.
you can find the archive of his posts on our website by following the link in our bio. while we weren’t able to gather every comment and like, we were able to get a majority of the posts!
what are your thoughts?
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formulaverstappen okay so this is pure he-said-she-said, but apparently on the holidays post, max’s sister commented “just friends? 😉” and max responded with the 😳 emoji I AM SICK
rizzciardo anyone who still thinks they’re just friends is LYING to their self
lnnation haunted by the fact that yn learned dutch for max and she helped him learn english
formulanorriz if he doesn’t ask her out at this rate, IM GOING TO
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GRANDPRIXSANDGOSSIP.COM
maxemillianv on instagram
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maxemillianv goede race, nog betere mensen ❤️ of moet ik zeggen persoon haha (great race, even better people or should i say person haha)
ynln zoveel liefde voor jou. ik ben zo trots op je ❤️🏆 (so much love for you. i’m so proud of you. )
maxemillianv on instagram
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maxemillianv out of office
maxemillianv on instagram
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maxemillianv happy holidays 🎄
victoriaverstappen just friends? 😉
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It’s funny, the way Max is. He’s blunt all the time, but this is different. A part of you is worried that maybe he’s upset, that perhaps something like this will be the reason you and him stray apart - you can’t imagine it. The thought of being anything but with Max matches your chest tighten, and even though you’d like to think that isn’t the case, you can’t be sure.
The wait for Max to arrive at your house is almost torturous. Your mind is racing, and by the time you hear his car pull up, you’re damn near shaking out of your skin. He doesn’t even have to knock or ring the doorbell - hell, he’s barely out of the car when you open your front door and step outside. You study his body language, trying to determine what exactly to expect. You just can’t clock it. With a sharp inhale, you lock your door and then make your way towards the car.
“Is everything okay?” you ask, uncertainty making your voice waver. “Yes,” Max responds simply. It’s a genuine yes, and in fact, he sounds almost happy. Your brows furrow in confusion as he opens the passenger side door for you, and you genuinely don’t think you could be more puzzled. You press your lips together as he returns to the drivers seat and starts the car again, not waiting to pull out of the driveway.
“Max, you’re scaring me,” you say. Scared isn’t the right word, but it’s something along those lines. His eyes stay on the road, yours are fixed on his face, still trying so desperately to read him. He glances at you, offers a small smile, then reaches over to grab your hand. He intertwined your fingers, assuring you that there’s nothing to worry about. It’s still odd - the whole situation, but that does make you feel more relaxed.
It’s quiet for longer than you’d like it to be. Aside from the radio, which is on a low volume, and the smooth rumble of the vehicle, it’s silent.
Finally, Max speaks. “I’m not worried about the posts,” he says, glancing at you for the second time. You find yourself wishing he could look at you for longer, a weird feeling washing over you as his eyes return to the road. He squeezes your hand subconsciously, his thumb soothing over the back of it. “Seriously?” you almost forgot to respond, but at the last minute, you remember his statement. “Seriously,” Max hums. The smile returns to his lips, and much to your relief, he expounds.
“Sure, it’s not ideal, but at the same time,” he pauses, and you can tell he’s trying to think of how to describe it. He chuckles briefly, “The only way to put it is that it’s made me realize that you’re so much more than a good friend.”
You’re still stumped. Now, you’re realizing that you don’t even know where Max is taking you - not that you’re worried about it, but the whole situation is just so strange, especially for you and Max. Thus, you remain silent, eyes never leaving him. You’re waiting for him to say something else, and he’s waiting for you to respond, assuming that you’d understand what he’s saying. Hes the first to realize that you don’t understand, and amused smile playing on his lips at your confusion. “Hold on, you’ll know what I mean when we get there,” He says, and this is somehow so Max, but not him at all, leaving you to sit silently, at least a million thoughts filling your mind.
Max pulls into a parking lot, and it only takes you a moment to realize you know where you are. You’ve been here with him once before, and you still remember that night so vividly. That was the first - and only - time you had ever questioned your feelings for Max. Any other time, you never had to think about how you felt. You knew you were happy with him, and it was the same for him. You didn’t need to know if you loved him, and he didn’t need to know if he loved you.
Now that the memories are coming back to your mind, it begins to dawn on you, what Max said. Regardless, you stay quiet and let him guide you into the club, hand still in his. He takes you to the very spot you both sat the first night you came here, and this time, rather than an empty booth and table, there’s a large bouquet of white roses sitting atop the table, a small note folded beside them. You aren’t sure what to say, or what to do. Your eyes flicker between the roses, the note, and Max, who carefully pulls you closer, his free hand now resting on the small of your back.
“I’ll give you the choice - you can read the card or I can relay it to you,” he says. You choose what first comes to mind. “Relay it to me.” Max nods, then turns you to face him, his hands on your waist. Instinctively, you place yours on his shoulders. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks, and even though you’re certain that his words are the briefest summary of what’s in the card, you can’t be bothered. A smile takes over your expression and you nod. Max smiles too, pulling you into a tight hug.
The rest of the night, you continued on like you would have had he not asked you to be his girlfriend. There was no need for things to be different. In fact, the only thing that would change from here would be the pure admiration you both have always had for one another, and that was perfectly fine with you. Somewhere along the line, a certain friend showed up, and you did eventually read the card.
Safe to say, Max’s recap of the words written in the card were indeed brief. Your heart is happy knowing that only you would see such a soft, loving side of him, and only you would be able to clearly picture your best friend- boyfriend, all mushy as he writes the card.
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maxverstappen1 on instagram
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liked by ynln, landonorris, danielricciardo, pierregasly, and 324,512 others
maxverstappen1 my ❤️
view all 7,432 comments
landonorris okay i guess we don’t do photo creds anymore 😒
⤷ maxverstappen1 👍📸
ynln so much love for you always. ❤️
⤷ maxverstappen1 ❤️🔄
⤷ formulaverstappen IS THIS HIS WAY OF SAYING THAT BACK TO YN??? THERE ARE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES
victoriaverstappen very ‘just friends’ of you
⤷ maxverstappen1 👀
⤷ mv331lvr YALL EITHER GET THIS OR YOU DONT IM GOING INSANE
ln4nation THE FACT THAT LANDO TOOK THESE AND WAS THERE WITJ THEM IM GAGGED
papayabull YN AND MAX CONFIRMED DATING THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
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TAGLIST
@renarots @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @vellicora @spidersophie @arkhammaid @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @leclercvsx @sleepeatread @kortneej81 @elliegrey2803 @i-love-ptv @motorsp0rt @fastcarsandshit @marshmummy @jellyfish123guts @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @sadieurlady @piasstrisblog @pretty-little-bunny382728 @lokietro @stopeatread
Thank you for reading! 🌷
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fluentmoviequoter · 2 months
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Doggitude
Requested Here!
Pairing: Tim Bradford x teacher!fem!reader (+ Kojo!)
Summary: After Tim takes his bad day out on you, you leave. Kojo misses you and does everything he can to see you again.
Warnings: angst, argument, Tim insults/belittles reader and her job, fluffy ending! KOJO!!
Word Count: 2.8k+ words
Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
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Tim loves you, and loves his job, but sometimes those sides of him are at odds. You are happy, bubbly, a ray of sunshine in a dark world, whereas his job shows him only the dark. Each side of Tim impacts the others; a good day with you leads into a good day at work, and a bad day at work is occasionally taken out on you.
Tim knows he isn’t a great boyfriend, and he can be abrasive and use you as an emotional outlet when things aren’t going well. He tries, he really does, but some bad days make being a good person seem impossible.
This week, Tim has worked several shifts back-to-back and is in a terrible mood when his shift finally ends. He’s ready to get home, but he just wants to enjoy some quiet and go to sleep, so he decides not to call you. Even as he sees your picture on his phone screen, he finds your smile a bit too bright. You’re different than him, and Tim usually loves that, but at the end of three consecutive bad days, Tim wants to stew in his anger rather than see something bright, like looking into the sun after extended time in a cave.
✯✯✯✯✯
You’ve been spending time at Tim’s house while he’s been at work. Every minute with Kojo in the otherwise empty house has made you miss Tim even more. Your kindergarten class has been rowdy all week, but you refuse to let them dampen your mood. Excited at the idea of Tim finally coming home tonight, you sit with Kojo and wait, reviewing lesson plans and report cards in your spare time.
✯✯✯✯✯
Kojo looks up from your lap when the front door opens, and you smile brightly when Tim enters. He doesn’t notice you as he drops his bag and sighs.
“Hey,” you greet. “We missed you this week.”
Tim clenches his jaw as he turns to face you. “Have you been here every night this week?”
Nodding, you explain, “I wanted to see you, but I also needed to take care of Kojo.” 
He remains silent, his eyes focused on something behind you.
“Are you okay? I know it’s been a long week, but-“
“You don’t know,” Tim says, cutting you off. “You will never understand what a long week really is.”
“Tim, I-“
“No,” Tim snaps, stepping back as he shrugs sarcastically. “You do not understand what it is like for me. Your job is nothing; your long week is because a kid wets his pants, mine is because one of my own gets shot or I lose a suspect, and someone gets hurt because of it. In the grand scheme of things, your job doesn’t matter because people still become criminals and ruin lives like mine!”
Tim’s chest is heaving with anger, every little thing he had to deal with this week weighing on him while he takes it out on you. You bite down on your bottom lip as he continues hurting you, attacking you and the thing you love to make himself feel better.
“You’re angry and tired,” you begin, your smile long gone. “So, I’m going to go-“
“Don’t talk to me like I am one of students. You can barely control them, so don’t try to placate me. I have dealt with criminals who do more work than you.”
A tear rolls over your cheek, and you wipe it away harshly.
“Then go yell at them, since that seems to be what you do to the people you claim to care about,” you reply, grabbing your things.
“Don’t leave.” Tim rolls his eyes as he says it, like you’re overreacting.
“I didn’t want to, but you clearly do. I hope you feel better in the morning, Tim.”
The door slams behind you, and Tim runs his hand over his hair, pinching the tight muscle at the back of his neck. Kojo jumps from the chair where he was sitting beside you, rushing to the closed door and whimpering. He looks back at Tim, whining as he raises his paw toward the door. 
“I messed up, didn’t I, Kojo?” Tim asks.
Kojo whines again, a clear ‘yes.’ Kojo has loved you since the moment he met you, and Tim even refers to you as 'Kojo’s mom.' Tim pulls his phone from his pocket, dialing your number. He gets no answer, and Tim can’t blame you, but he also knows better than to chase you. He texts you and puts his phone away, calling Kojo to follow him to bed. Kojo stays at the door, lying down and watching the doorknob. 
“Sorry, buddy,” Tim says, leaving his bedroom door open in case Kojo forgives him in the night.
✯✯✯✯✯
Once you are safely in your apartment, you let yourself cry, Tim’s words on a loop in your mind. Your phone rings again, and you see Tim’s name with yet another message. Turning the ringer off, you push your phone away from you and curl up in the middle of your bed, crying rather than sleeping.
Tim has been emotional coming home from work before, saying something you didn’t deserve. He’s never taken it this far or made it about you personally before tonight. His comments about your job had to have come from somewhere, maybe something he’s been hiding. You don’t believe him; you know what you do is important, but Tim hurt you, and you’re not sure it will ever stop hurting.
When the sun appears on the horizon, you call in sick from work, prepared for a long weekend alone. Part of you wants to know if Tim is feeling better today, but then you remember what he did, giving you a bad day in his attempt to minimize his own.
“I miss Kojo,” you whisper, crying again as you remember that it’s not only Tim you’re losing.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Kojo?” Tim calls, growing more worried with each empty room.
Behind the kitchen island, Kojo is sitting and shaking with his head down. Tim kneels before him and lays a gentle hand on his back. Kojo begins whining, a different sound than his reaction to you leaving last night.
“What’s the matter, Kojo?” Tim whispers.
Kojo shakes harder, sliding his front paws out so he’s lying flat on the floor. Tim searches for a nearby vet hospital before picking Kojo up and carrying him outside. Once Kojo is in his truck, Tim drives to the vet hospital. Kojo’s whining turns to short barks as he carries him inside. The vet takes one look at Kojo shaking and leads Tim into an examination room. After checking Kojo's vitals quickly, the vet sets her equipment down and chuckles.
“Mr.?” she begins.
“Bradford. And that’s Kojo.”
“Mr. Bradford, Kojo is faking. There’s nothing wrong with him.”
“He’s- he’s fine?”
“Yes, he is. Dogs sometimes do this when they want attention or after something changes, in an attempt to get it back. Has something like that happened recently?”
Tim looks at Kojo and nods. 
“Someone will be in shortly with the paperwork. I’m glad Kojo is healthy. Have a nice day, Bradfords.”
As the door closes, Tim asks, “Wasn’t that a bit dramatic? Did you think I’d call her, and she’d answer for you?”
Kojo looks up and grunts at Tim. Someone knocks before handing Tim the bill and telling him he’s free to go. Tim looks down at the bill and releases a deep exhale. He should be upset with Kojo, but he probably deserves a lot worse for what he did to you.
“She really won’t come back now, Kojo. You spent all my money,” Tim mutters.
Kojo grunts again as Tim clips a leash to his collar. He refuses to look at Tim, upset that he was taken to the vet rather than your side.
✯✯✯✯✯
Tim hasn’t texted in a few hours. He either realized you weren’t going to answer or decided he didn’t want to talk. You haven’t read the messages or played the voicemails, too hurt to communicate with Tim in any way. Reading his words or hearing his voice will make you cry harder, and you’re already nearly cried out.
Looking at a framed picture of Kojo, you wish things had been different, wondering if one little choice would have made things end differently. You didn’t sleep last night, and you’re sure you won’t sleep again tonight, too busy crying and mourning the loss of the most important boys in your life. As the sun sets, you begin sobbing, holding the picture of Kojo to your chest as you hear Tim’s angry words in your mind again.
✯✯✯✯✯
Kojo won’t come near Tim, content to sit by the door. When Tim moves, Kojo grunts, turning away. The doorbell rings, and Kojo steps back, watching Tim as he answers it. Signing for a package, Tim ignores Kojo’s growling.
“I can’t make her forgive me, pal,” Tim tells Kojo after he closes the door.
Kojo trots away, turning into the guest room to sleep. Tim sits on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose as he realizes he has two problems that must be solved. He hurt you, and worse, he hurt you intentionally, and now he has a dog that misses you and blames him. Tim understands why you are ignoring him and why Kojo is upset, too. Reaching for his phone, he texts you again, but the dozens of unanswered texts above the newest make him refrain from calling you.
✯✯✯✯✯
After managing to get an hour and a half of sleep, you hope the third night without Tim will be easier. When you hear a dog barking outside your window and a man talking kindly to the dog as if it will respond, you realize that tonight will likely be the worst. Tim and Kojo do that, have their own language, and you were part of their world for a brief, brilliant moment. And then it was snatched away from you, breaking your heart and hurting your mind in the process.
✯✯✯✯✯
“You have to go outside eventually, Kojo,” Tim says with his arms crossed over his chest and Kojo’s leash hanging from his hand.
Kojo grunts, looks toward the door, and slowly approaches Tim. On the walk, Kojo pulls harder than usual, not listening to Tim when he gives him commands.
“When is this dog-gitude going to pass, Kojo?” Tim asks. “Because there’s nothing we can do.”
Tim doesn’t realize how close he is to your apartment when he enters the dog park. Kojo runs back and forth across the park a few times, glad to stretch his legs after avoiding Tim in the house for a few days. When he stops suddenly, looking at Tim as his back legs drop, preparing to run, Tim knows he can’t stop him.
“Kojo, no!” Tim yells.
Kojo, of course, doesn’t listen. He runs past Tim, out of the dog park, and down the sidewalk as fast as possible. Tim follows behind, pushing himself past his limit to catch Kojo. When he sees the lights of a familiar apartment complex, he realizes that Kojo is finding you.
“Kojo!” Tim calls again, slowing as he begins up the stairs.
✯✯✯✯✯
A dog barks at your door, and for a moment, you think you are imagining Kojo’s presence. When claws scratch against the wood, you open the door slowly. Kojo pushes past you, circling your legs happily. You sink to the floor, wrapping your arms around Kojo. Unaware that you are still crying, you’re surprised when Kojo begins licking your chin, attempting to dry your tears.
Footsteps echo in the stairwell, and when Tim appears in your doorway, panting and pressing one hand to the doorjamb to stay upright, you turn toward him instinctually. Kojo grunts, moving in front of you, blocking Tim.
Tim sees your tears and bloodshot eyes and can’t stop himself from stepping inside. He closes the door and squats, keeping his eyes on you as he lowers to look in your eyes over Kojo’s head.
“Did you read my messages?” he asks softly.
You shake your head, and he nods before leaning back as he sits against the door.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Shaking your head again, you pull Kojo back into your arms and cling to him.
“I’m going to tell you want my messages said, but if you want me to stop I will,” Tim begins. “I never should have said those things about your job, because they were wrong. Teaching is important, and the kind of teaching you do is far more important than what I do. You give kids a chance to be the best they can be, and I have to find the bad people and make them pay for it. You already know that I had a long week, a bad one, too, and I took that out on you. I can’t say much more than I am sorry; I’m so sorry that I talked to you like that. You are the only good part of a life surrounded by grief. I- I wouldn’t forgive me.”
“Why?” you ask against Kojo. “Why did you say those things?”
“You- you’re bright, sunny, happy… all the time.”
“I thought you liked that about me.”
“I love that about you. But, after the week I had, it was just hard to turn away from the hard parts of the job and see pure light.”
“So, you don’t want to come back to-“
“Don’t finish that. This has nothing to do with you. This was all me, trying to deal with a bad week and making it far worse. Hurting you in the process was not my intention, and I can never make up for that.”
You hug Kojo tightly, thinking about what Tim said. Having two completely different life elements like that can’t be easy. If it’s not about him not wanting to come home to you, you’re not sure how to avoid the same thing in the future.
“I’m sorry,” Tim repeats. “And, if you give me a second chance, I will show you that I can separate the two. Bringing a bad day home to you, hurting you, is not an option and I never should have lost sight of that… I’ve missed you.”
“I missed Kojo.”
“Yeah, Kojo missed you too,” Tim replies with a dramatic raise of his brows. “Cost me nearly $1,000 trying to see you again.”
“How?” you ask, looking up at Tim again.
He softens when your eyes meet his. “He pretended to be sick trying to get you to come back, but I just took him to the vet. Emergency visits are expensive, even if there is no reason for it.”
“Did- did you follow him here?”
“Yeah. He ran from the dog park and came straight here.”
“Would you have come here if he hadn’t led you, or would you have just moved on after I stopped answering the phone?”
Tim slides closer until Kojo is the only thing separating him from you. “I would have come. I would have gotten on my knees and begged to apologize.”
“Just to apologize?”
“I can’t force you to forgive me or give me another chance, just tell you that I’m sorry and I miss you like crazy.”
“Well, I missed you like Kojo missed me,” you say quietly.
“That much?”
“I haven’t slept in three nights, so, yeah,” you answer with a chuckle.
Tim raises his hand to your face, placing his fingers under your jaw as his thumb moves gently across your cheek.
“I forgive you,” you whisper, leaning into his touch. “Just promise to talk to me, rather than take it out at me next time you have a bad day?”
“I promise,” Tim replies. “Kojo, move.”
Kojo grunts, moving closer to you.
“Kojo,” you say, smiling when he moves to your side, watching you closely for any sign of hurt.
“He likes you more than me. His mom left and nothing could make it better.”
“Has he been eating? Because I have some of his food here-“
Tim cuts you off, kissing you softly as his hand moves to the back of your neck. He moves slowly, communicating his love and his apology in his movements.
“Can we get off the floor?” you ask.
“Only if Kojo and I can stay for a while.”
“You can stay forever.”
Tim pulls you into his lap, smiling when you grab his shoulders in surprise. He kisses your jaw as he stands, pulling you up and moving to your couch.
“I’m sorry you had a bad week,” you say, patting for Kojo to join you.
“Why are you like this?” Tim replies.
“Because I’m sunny, and bright, and all things happy.”
“Lucky me,” Tim hums.
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svnarin · 3 months
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⊹˚₊‧ twenty (20) BF!SUNARIN headcanons!!
yes, you read that right. it's 20 hcs!! bcs it was his bday :3
ps! if this post seems familiar—i actually posted this on my old blog months before privating the post :> and i love this post sm that i rlly want to repost it here T-T uhm, anyway! this is also the newly edited version 😁
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bf!sunarin who loves sending tiktoks to you—his entire tiktok fyp. he doesn’t care if the tiktok was relatable or not, he would still send it either way. you can’t really blame him—his tiktok fyp is frankly interesting. it is also common for him to send you some of the latest couple trends along with the message saying, “let’s do this trend.”
bf!sunarin who loves posting you in his instagram stories more than anything. he even made an instagram highlight on his profile dedicated to you. he posts you a lot on his stories to the point that his followers thought that his instagram account is a stan account about you. 
bf!sunarin who would always carry a hair tie with him in case you needed it. he would even help you tie your hair if you wanted to. you want a simple ponytail or a braided updo? he can nail both. thank his skills for he got those after being his little sister’s personal hairstylist when they were younger. 
bf!sunarin who is a great photographer who loves and enjoys taking candid pictures of you. he even made a folder dedicated to candid pictures of you. sometimes he would even be such a tease and make a meme out of your candid pictures before sending it to you.
bf!sunarin who still loves taking those “soft launch” photos with you and posting them on his social media even if almost everyone already knows that the two of you are dating. 
bf!sunarin who loves coming over to your home—uninvited or not—to have some quality time with you. most of the time the two of you would just end up cuddling together and watching movies until both of you falls asleep. 
bf!sunarin who will often message you to ask if you want to go to a convenience store or any other fast food chain available in the most ungodly hours. sometimes he would randomly drive by your home to come to pick you up even if you haven’t replied to his text message yet. 
bf!sunarin who enjoys having midnight walks and car rides with you. he finds this as the best time to have a one-on-one conversation with you since it would just be the two of you and the silence of the night. and the most common topics that the two of you always talk about are the “remember when” conversations. he would even pull up his phone and show some receipts like photos or videos he had taken during those times. 
bf!sunarin who will definitely make a spotify playlist about you and your relationship. he also loves playing those playlists whenever the two of you go on your occasional midnight car rides or just road trips in general. 
bf!sunarin who loves seeing you wearing his hoodies and jerseys—especially his high school jersey. he also likes taking candid pictures of you wearing those before putting them in a separate folder in his gallery. 
bf!sunarin who always holds your hand in public. and if he’s not holding your hand, his hand would either be placed on your waist or at the small of your back. 
bf!sunarin who is absolutely physically affectionate towards you in private. he loves peppering you with kisses on your forehead, jaw, neck, and nape, before giving you a passionate kiss on the lips.
bf!sunarin who loves spooning you whenever the two of you cuddle or sleep together on the bed. and if the two of you are sleeping on the couch, you bet you would be sleeping on top of his body with his arms wrapped around your body.
bf!sunarin who will always try to find you among crowds of people—may it be during a party that he knows you’ll attend or on the benches whenever he has a match. 
bf!sunarin who will always mention your name during special mentions in interviews and awards—highlighting that you are very significant in his life. 
bf!sunarin who likes talking about you positively to his family and friends. he isn’t such an open person to his family, but when it comes to you? he’s definitely talking about you in full detail even if they just asked a simple yes or no question about you. 
bf!sunarin who likes listening to your interests and rants. you like this certain book or video game? he’s listening—he might even try it out for himself. you find this one coworker of yours annoying? he’s listening. he’s like your living diary but don’t worry, your secrets are safe with him.
bf!sunarin who likes listening to any tea you have to spill. he would even share his thoughts and knowledge about the tea that you are sharing with him. and of course, he also likes spilling you the tea he has gathered all over social media and in person.
bf!sunarin who may not be good at studying and cooking but will try his best to help you out. you don’t have the time to prepare some snacks for yourself while studying? he’s already getting his car keys to go to the nearest fast food chain to get you a takeout. you’re going to make dinner? you bet he is already on his way to buy the ingredients that you’ll need. 
bf!sunarin who suddenly insists that the two of you should try making waxed hands for some quality time with each other. little did you know that he’s going to use the waxed hands that you guys will make to measure your ring size so that he can finally buy an engagement ring and pop you the question.
bf!kita shinsuke headcanons
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𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | repost, modification, and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited.
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touyasdoll · 1 year
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Like a Sister
Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x best friend's little sister!reader
! Disclaimer ! NO INCEST. NO STEPCEST. absolutely nothing against those who write/read that, but this isn't that and I just wanna make that clear <3
Word count: 5k
Warnings: reader is Kiri's adoptive younger sister. I always try to make everything as inclusive as possible, so pls let me know (politely!) if I failed somewhere. fem reader, alcohol, intentionally making someone jealous, reader is wearing a skirt & a charm bracelet, reader gets picked up, missionary/intimate sex, no real prep, lots of feelings involved
Notes: I'm so sorry that this took literally over a year, but I hope that you enjoy it <3
Heartbeats & Handgrenades Masterlist
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Your big brother is always looking out for you. You two have been close for as far back as you can remember and he’s always been very protective of you, because the absolute worst thing that he can think of is seeing you get hurt, so he does whatever he can to prevent that. 
It’s sweet, of course, and you love him for it. Eijirou is the best sibling that anyone could ask for. It’s nice having someone who cares enough to look out for you the way that he does. 
However. 
The problem is that he does so damn good of a job trying to look out for you that he ends up scaring off most of the guys you’re interested in. 
It started back in your school days. You’re only a year younger than your adoptive big bro, so you almost always attended the same school. But the moment that he put two and two together and realized that boys had taken an interest in you? It was like his protection skills leveled up. It was as if he had developed a sixth sense for when a cute boy was talking to you. He was always just around somehow. 
It went beyond your time in school though. It’s now become a sizable problem for you well into your adulthood. The same routine over and over again. The guy you’re talking to finds out that you’re the Red Riot’s little sister and suddenly they’re ghosting you for fear of ending up on his bad side. They’ve seen what he’s capable of. Well, physically capable of. In actuality, you don’t think that anyone who did cross you would get more than maybe a stern talking to from the “fearsome” hero. You can’t really blame them though. Most people don’t look at the rock hard hero and think of him as the teddy bear that you know him to be. 
The worst part is that doesn’t even realize that he’s essentially a chronic cockblock and you haven’t ever had the heart to tell him. Not that you think you want to. It is a bit of an awkward conversation to broach with your elder brother. How are you supposed to tell him that him being terrifyingly good at his job is what’s causing all your dick appointments to cancel on you? Especially when he thinks that you’re still such a sweet girl too. Such an innocent girl. Thankfully, he is incorrect there. His brawn doesn’t scare away absolutely everyone that you’re interested in. You’ve had plenty of practice by ways of shallow dating app hookups and bad decisions made after one too many at the bar. But it’s not like you’ve ever brought anyone home to meet the family, so he’s none the wiser to your ways. 
You’ve never so much as mentioned anyone you were seeing to your brother, which is fine by him. In his humble opinion, no one’s good enough for you anyway, which is something that he has expressed multiple times; it’s not a secret that’s what he thinks. He’s more than prepared to see you as his pure, innocent little sister forever.
Bakugou though? He has a lot more trouble picturing you as innocent.
He’s spent too many nights fisting his cock to the thought of your tight pussy wrapped around him. He’s imagined the taste of you on his tongue one too many times to see you as the virginal sweetheart that his best friend believes that you are.
He hates himself for it too. Hates that he always ends up here, furiously stroking himself while suffocating the sound of your name on his lips into his pillow, lest his roommate—your brother—hear him. Hates it. 
Because as much as he lusts after you, he loves you more. He's had to insist to Mina, who can see through his ruse and has called him out of it before, that he loves you like a sister, but in truth, he loves every little thing about you far beyond that. The sound of your laugh, listening to you talk about your interests, even the face that you make when something’s bothering you. He knows it immediately, because all he does when you’re around is watch you. He wants to know what upsets you, so that he can avoid it, so that he can fix it. So that he can make you happy, because that’s all that he’s ever wanted for you. Happiness. 
He couldn't tell you when it started, this little crush of his. As far as he can recall, he's always been drawn to you. You, who would always tag along with the rest of the gang back when you were all in high school. Who never seemed put off by his abrasive personality, even though it was certainly much worse back then. Who, even still today, always offers him a smile and makes his day just a bit brighter with only your presence.
He also couldn't tell you how he felt. First, he had no idea if you felt the same. He liked to think that he was fairly emotionally intelligent, good at reading cues and all that, but when it came to you, he was clueless. And he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to take the rejection. 
Little did he know that you were trying to make it obvious. Your innocent schoolgirl crush had turned into something that ran much deeper than that after so many years of knowing Bakugou. Much like your brother, you immediately saw past his tough exterior and came to realize that he's actually one of the most caring and thoughtful people that you've ever met. He's always looking out for others, and you’ve noticed that you are no exception.
He saw you out on a date once, which was the point. You went to his usual coffee shop with some guy, because you knew that he would be there after his shift for an afternoon pick-me-up. You had hoped that it would make him jealous. That maybe you could get a sense for whether or not he harbored the same feelings that you did. Whether or not he had the same recurrent  thoughts about the feeling of his skin on yours. You just wanted to know; you wanted an inkling of something to prove that maybe he was just as interested as you. 
He did seem irritated beyond that typical gruff facade of his, but he also seemed genuine when he pulled you aside and told you that your date wasn't worth your time. Of course, he'd been right too. Not too long after Bakugou had scooped up his order and bolted, the idiot in question started visibly ogling other patrons in the cafe.
He was always right. About everything. It would honestly be annoying if he wasn't so good at giving advice. You knew that you could always go to him with even the silliest of problems and he'd offer you an attentive ear and a few words of wisdom that you never would've considered on your own. He had a knack for solving your every dilemma. 
Which gives you a wicked idea. 
He's always helped you out before. So why can't he help you with this little problem that you're having now?
Feeling a stroke of genius, you hatch a plan to send Bakugou signals that he can't miss.
You check the time on your phone. 2:16 PM. Your brother still has plenty of time left during his patrol shift and Katsuki is most likely at the apartment all by himself. 
///
Half an hour later, you’re rapping your knuckles against the apartment door and before you can even drop your hand back to your side, the door’s swinging open. 
Bakugou stands before you in gray sweatpants and a loose muscle tank that may have been a sleeved shirt at one point, but now it’s been cut nearly all the way to the hem on both sides. His face twists in confusion as he looks down at you.
“Didn’t your brother tell you he was workin’ today? He won’t be home for another couple hours.”
“I know,” you say simply, shrugging and clasping your hands behind your back as you stroll inside the apartment. “I came to see you.”
“Me?” He asks, sounding slightly incredulous, though he covers it by clearing his throat. “Why? Ya need somethin’?”
“Yeah, actually. Do you have a minute?” 
You go ahead and slip your shoes off by the door before making yourself comfortable on the couch, fanning out your short skirt, so that it drapes across your thigh just right when you cross your legs. 
“I’ve always got time for you.” 
He shrugs, sauntering over to take a seat on the opposite side of the couch. He angles his body to face you as he sprawls out, his muscular arm laying over the back of the couch, fingers almost near enough to touch your shoulder. 
“What’s goin’ on?”
It’s hard to focus on his question when you can see so much of his bare chest beneath his altered tank top, but his voice pulls your eyes to his face and your brain, thankfully, catches up. 
“I’ve just been having some boy troubles,” you admit, a soft pout pursing your lips together. You don’t miss the glance that he steals at them. 
“Well, that’s your problem,” he scoffs. “Stop dating boys and trying dating a man for a change. Boys are just gonna break your heart. A real man’ll treat ya right.”
“By a real man, do you mean someone like.. you?” 
You ask so blatantly that it makes his head spin. He doesn’t even register your hand on his knee until a full two seconds later; he’s too busy trying to process whether or not you actually said what he thinks you said. He looks down and you swear you can sense the nervous energy radiating off of him as he lifts his hand to rest it atop your own. He doesn’t want you to stop touching him, but he’s already picturing folding you in half right there on the couch and he respects his best friend too much to ever do something like that to his sister. Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.
“Someone like me, yeah,” he says as he starts to push your hand away, but he can’t bring himself to actually do it. 
He presses his hand down on top of yours and finds the nerve to meet your gaze, which he immediately recognizes as a mistake. That little smile on your lips. The sense of longing that he’s almost certain he can see in your eyes. They’re both dwindling his resolve down to nothing. 
“Well, why not you?” You shrug, daring to slip your hand up to his thigh. “Why can’t I have you, Katsuki?”
He can’t believe how simple you’re making it sound. As if you two could be together just like that? What would Kirishima think? What would he do? He’s at a loss for words. He can think of reasons to say no, but all that he wants to say is yes. 
“Out of every man that I’ve ever met, you’ve always treated me the best,” you say as you look down at your hands, placing your other one on top of his. “You’re always here for me when I need you. You look out for me. You actually seem to care about how I’m doing. You even pay attention to the little things like how I take my coffee or even when I wear a different perfume. Why shouldn’t I be with a guy who does all of that?”
His heart is pounding in his chest. He’s never actually felt his pulse move quite this fast and considering his line of work, that’s saying something. He opens his mouth, trying to find a way to refuse you, but he can’t. He just can’t. 
“You should,” he starts, brows knitting together with regret. “You absolutely should and you shouldn’t settle for anything less, but I don’t.. I don’t know if..”
His lips press together in a hard line. He can’t even say the words. You tilt your head and the disappointed look on your face just about kills him right there. 
“It’s okay, I understand. I thought that..” you trail off, looking down as you start to pull your hands away. “I’m sorry. I must’ve been misreading things.”
“No,” he says quickly, sandwiching both of your hands between his own as you lift your head to meet his eyes once more and he finds relief in the hope that he finds there. “No, that’s not it. I,” he sighs. “You didn’t misread anything. I like you. Goddamn, do I fucking like you..”
HIs ruby eyes search your face, a melancholy smile just barely turning up the corners of his mouth. You hold your breath, trying to prepare yourself for the inevitable ‘but’ that you feel coming. 
“But I don’t know if I could do that to your brother.”
Your shoulders slump and your face falls too, eyes averting to focus on a spot on the floor as you nod your head. You would try to mask your disappointment, but you can’t seem to. Even in this scenario, being Red Riot’s little sister hinders your romantic prospects. 
“I was hoping that because it’s you it wouldn’t be an issue,” you say quietly, retracting your hands as you stand up. “I’m really sorry for bothering you with this. Just don’t even tell him that I was here, please. I’ll get out of your hair before I embarrass myself further.”
You turn to leave and he flies to his feet, reaching out to take your hand and spin you around to face him. His impressively large form looms over you, sizing you up with a genuinely curious expression. 
“What do you mean by that? Because it’s me?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug, looking up at him with those doe eyes again. “I just figured that if ever there was a guy that he thought he could trust would treat me right, it’d be you. He respects you more than anyone else he knows. He’s known you forever. He even still looks up to you. If you don’t meet the standard in his eyes then.. I don’t know that anyone ever will.”
He doesn’t know what to say to that. He just stares down at you with knit brows and a scowl on his lips, rendered both pensive and frustrated by just how much sense it makes. He can’t deny that. But he also can’t ignore the seemingly infinite amount of times that Kirishima had warned every single member of their friend group growing up that you were strictly off limits. 
Then again. You’re an adult. He’s an adult. And he’s always thought that his friend was a bit too overbearing when it came to your dating life. He gets where he’s coming from; he doesn’t want you dating an asshole, but they’re on the same page there. And this is different. Right? What you’re saying makes sense. He’d never hurt you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did. Kirishima would understand this logic, wouldn’t he?
He hoped so.
You’re waiting for him to say something. Do something. Anything. Finally, he seems to snap out of his thoughts and he tugs on your hand, pulling you closer to slip his arm around your waist as his hand leaves yours to cup your cheek. He kisses you the way that he’s wanted to for so, so long and it feels too right to seem like the wrong decision. 
It happens so fast that you’re caught off guard. It takes a moment for it to register that this is actually happening, but when you realize, you kiss him back with just as much passion. All that tension is broken, shattered to pieces to leave nothing but a sense of all encompassing need in its place. You press your hands to his chest, fingers tightening around the fabric of his tank to tug impatiently. You’d both waited long enough. You’d both waited long enough for this and it was becoming evident just how little patience the both of you had left by the way that you’re hands are greedily exploring each other’s bodies. 
“Are you sure about this?” He manages to mutter between feverish kisses as his hands start to skim beneath your top. “Because I don’t think I’ll survive it if you end up changin’ your mind on me, princess.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you reply without hesitation, reaching down to pull your top off completely before you reach back to unhook your bra. 
You lean in to kiss him again, but he pulls back to take in the sight of you. He’s dreamed about this moment for too long, but it’s clear now that his imagination hasn't been able to do you justice. 
“You’re so beautiful,” he says so sincerely that it makes you stop for a moment as your cheeks grow warm. 
You lean in again to grab the hem of his shirt, giving him a chaste kiss before you lift it over his head and toss it aside. Your fingertips explore the shape of his abs, traveling up and over his chest until your hands are pressed behind his neck to pull him in once more. 
“So are you,” you murmur against his lips, capturing them again to slip your tongue into his mouth. 
His large hands find the small of your back before they dip lower to cup your ass. He flips up your skirt and groans when he feels the warmth of your bare skin, massaging your cheeks with a firm but gentle touch. His confidence seems to be growing as quickly as his erection has. You think to yourself that he must not have anything beneath his sweats with the way that you can feel his cock prodding at you.
He helps you shed the rest of your clothing, tugging your panties off along with your skirt before he lifts his arms to let you lift his tank and toss it aside. He’s thoroughly worked up and ready to go, but nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of your palm against his throbbing member. His breath hitches and the noise he makes almost sounds pained. All he can think about is having you wrapped around him. He nearly forgets to breathe as he bucks his hips into your touch. A whine even slips from his lips.
“You really don’t know what you do to me,” he murmurs, eyes closed and hands greedy as they knead the fat of your ass again. 
“I think I have an idea,” you reply, wearing a playful smile as you cut to the chase and tug his sweats down to wrap your hand around his fully exposed and swollen cock. 
He suddenly stoops down to grab you behind your thighs, effortlessly lifting you up onto his waist as he silences you with a commanding kiss. He steps out of the sweats now pooled around his ankles and carts you off to the bedroom. 
Your arms are wound tight around his neck and neither one of you seems to want to come up for air. Even when he lays you down, he keeps his lips moving against yours. You part your legs and his fingertips skim along the outside of your thigh as his hips start to roll. He can’t even pretend that he’s in control of them as his tip begins to press against your slit, begging to part your lips and slip right inside of you. 
“Do it,” you beg, the plea hardly a whisper as you continue crashing your lips into his. “Please, Katsuki. I’m ready, I promise. Just fuck me already.”
You shift your hips forward and, as much as he wants to take his time with you, he can’t help himself when you manage to nudge the head of his cock inside of you. He immediately gets lost in the warm, wet, and welcoming sensation of your walls. You apparently weren’t kidding when you said you were ready. He drags his hips back and then allows himself to be sucked in as he slowly sinks himself inside. 
The both of you let out a sigh of mutual relief and he pushes himself up, placing his hands on either side of your body to stare down at your perfect face. He gives another roll of his hips and struggles to keep his own eyes open, so that he can watch the way yours fall shut and how your face twists as the pleasure courses through your body. He thinks to himself that it has to be one of the best things that he’s ever been blessed enough to see and he knows that he needs more. He needs to make you feel better than anyone else ever has. 
So that’s what he does. 
His lips connect with every inch of your skin as he languidly thrusts in and out, allowing you to fully cherish every glorious sensation. The feeling of him stretching you out so slowly, filling you up as his hips gently connect with your own. The loving kisses peppered all the way from your temple to the valley of your breasts. The soft yet sinful sounds of him losing himself within you, his hot breath tickling the shell of your ear as he sinks inside yet again and realizes he never wants to pull out. 
You return his gentle touches in kind. Your hands blindly travel along his body, exploring his back, chest, and biceps at a leisurely pace, eager to offer him as many wonderful sensations as he’s lavishing you with until you feel a tightening deep within your belly that inspires you to clutch tight to his back, nails imprinting half moons into his flesh as your legs tighten around his hips. 
Without a word, he knows what you need and he gives it to you. 
He readjusts, propping himself up further to allow himself more leverage, which he uses to his full advantage as he starts drilling into you, steadily increasing his pace with each thrust of his hips. He tosses his head back, letting out a guttural groan and the odd curse word as his movements become more sloppy, but in the best way. 
The both of you become completely tangled up with one another, a mesh of two bodies become one as you move in tandem, trading fervent kisses and wanton moans back and forth until your overcome by pleasure. 
Your hands find the fabric of his comforter, now mussed atop his once neatly made bed, and you hold fast to it as your spine bows. Everything is rigid and all too much for a brief second before euphoria explodes throughout your every nerve ending, sending you into a glorious spiral. You call his name again and again in your bliss, too far gone to find any other words. They’ve lost all meaning. You beckon him closer with each utterance and every maddening pulse of your walls around him. He hardly has time to appreciate your orgasm for all it’s worth before his own hits him like a freight train. 
“F-fuck!” He growls, overwhelmed by the force with which he cums.
He doesn’t even have the sense to think about pulling out, much less the time to do it before he’s pouring every last drop of his seed deep inside your cunt. He hangs his head, enveloping you in his arms as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, smothering it in kisses as he pants and groans through his release. 
Eventually, you both slow to a halt, but you don’t disconnect right away. You exchange more tender touches and gentle nuzzles back and forth, content to maintain your proximity while your blood slowly begins to cool and the thrumming in your chests starts to dissipate, though both of you are pleased to find it never goes away completely. Not like it ever had before when you were around one another, but now that both of you know how the other feels, it’s different. It’s better. 
Everything is better. 
He opens his mouth to speak, to finally breathe life into those three little words that have died on his tongue countless times throughout the years in his cowardice, but the sound of the lock on the front door clicking open has them perishing yet again. 
He freezes, realizing that there’s likely no way out of this now. You’re just as petrified, holding stock still until you hear the door swing open and both of you spring into action. Bakugou clambers off of you to snatch a pair of boxers from his drawer, hopping into them as he swings his bedroom door shut while you scramble beneath the covers to at least protect your modesty. Thankfully, your brother isn’t able to take a peek inside the room. You just hope that he doesn’t recognize your clothing piled beside the coffee table.
“Shit, I guess I should’ve told you I was comin’ home early. Sorry, bro,” Kirishima laughs as his heavy boots can be heard venturing into the living room. “I’m gonna go take a shower. Pretend like I’m not here.”
You breathe a sigh of relief, but it's minimal. You know you have to go and go fast. 
“I’ll get your clothes,” Bakugou says quietly, listening at the door for the click of Kirishima’s. 
You nod and sit up in the bed, waiting for him to return and hand you your outfit before you slip out from beneath the covers to dress. He does the same, stepping into the same sweats and tank top that you’d torn off of him earlier. 
“M’sorry about this,” he mutters, nodding towards the door. 
You shake your head, walking closer to wrap your arms around his middle as you tilt your head back and smile at him. His arms fold around you to pull you snug to his chest. You rest a hand on his cheek and pull him into a kiss that’s as sweet and deliberate as he had been with you and he’s grateful for it. He’d been half afraid that you’d scurry away and pretend as if this hadn’t even happened.
“Don’t be. We’ll figure out how to tell him together, okay? I just don’t want it to be this way.”
“Right. I don’t either. We’ll figure it out,” he repeats, his lips turning up in a smile that softens as he studies your features. “We’re gonna have to, because I love you.”
His admission renders you speechless, your eyes widening as heat creeps up the back of your neck. The pulse of your heart starts thumping in your own ears again, hammering throughout your every blood vessel as you will yourself to snap out of it. 
“I love you too,” you blurt out unceremoniously, though you know you mean those three little words and the smile on his face says that he knows it too. 
“I’m not working tonight. I can come by in a little bit?” He suggests, hopeful that you’ll agree and how could you not?
“I’ll make us dinner,” you confirm, smiling ear to ear as you lean in to kiss him once again.
He tightens his hold on you, finding it more and more difficult to let you go the longer that he has you in his arms, but reluctantly, the two of you soon part and he knows that you have to leave. 
He pokes his head out to ensure that the coast is clear before he guides you out of the room and you hurry out the door, turning to blow a kiss over your shoulder before you head down the hall, giddy as you’ve ever been. 
Bakugou tidies up his room, mulling over an excuse to offer his best friend until he and Kirishima both end up in the kitchen together. 
“Seems like you’ve had a pretty good afternoon, huh?” Eijirou grins and bumps him on the shoulder before he ducks into the fridge for a beer. “Who’s the girl? Anyone I know?”
“Nah, just some girl from the gym. Don’t think you’ve seen her around.”
He feels terrible lying, but he figures it’s for the best, just for the time being. He’ll come clean eventually. No harm, no foul, right?
“Well, good for you, man. It’s good to see you puttin’ yourself out there. I was gettin’ a little worried about you being chronically single,” he jokes, chuckling as he travels into the living room to get comfortable on the couch and flip on the tv. 
“Ha, yeah.” He nods, though he’s unable to even look his friend in the face as he snatches his water bottle and heads for the door. “I’m actually going over to her place for dinner, so I’ll probably be back later, but don’t wait up, okay?”
“Okay. Have fun, man,” Kirishima calls back, smiling genuinely as he waves him out the door. 
That is, until he notices the small charm on the floor in front of him. He leans forward to pick it up and isn’t difficult for him to put two and two together. The clothes he’d spotted earlier had seemed familiar, but he didn’t think much of it. This, he couldn’t dispute. He knows this charm, because he had gifted it to you just last week as an addition to the bracelet that always adorned your wrist. And, as far as he knew, you hadn’t been over to their place since last month, yet here the charm was. 
He doesn’t know what hurts more, that two of his best friends felt like they had to sneak around behind his back or that one of them had just lied to his face about it.
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I know I didn’t have to end it this way. the impulsive thoughts won today and I’m sorry about it ajdhsh but thank you so much for reading!! 💕 take a forehead kiss on your way out *mwah*
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moethewriter · 4 months
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Could you do one for Finnick where no one knows they are together except close friends, we know katniss doesn’t like him much at first and the reader knows the rebellion plan and obviously Finnick so she doesn’t stop him from flirting with her and maybe(?) thinks it’s amusing because she knows why he’s doing it but it’s revealed in the arena they’re together and katniss is shocked
I hope you like it! I was excited to write it but I fear I made it far more angsty and less flirty than you would like! TITLE: A Lover's Cry WORD COUNT: 1.8k PAIRING: Finnick Odair x Reader WARNINGS: General hunger games violence, secret relationships, angst and multiple POV! (Katniss, Reader) TAGS: Let me know if I need to tag anything else! A/N: I actually really loved writing this one, and i hope you enjoy it despite only loosely basing it off your prompt! Thank you so much for the request and as always I take constructive critisicsm! Not beta read as usual! -
“So what’s with those two?” Katniss questioned, pointing towards the screen.
She had watched Haymitch flick through the tributes, giving her and Peeta the basics on everyone who was going into the arena. Two had caught her eyes immediately, Finnick Odair from District 4, and Y/N L/N from District 8. She knew their names, their faces but she didn’t know anything about their skills or who they were. But both seemed far too polished, posh and pretty standing in front of their respective crowds. It seemed like they were ready to head back in there, almost like they wanted too. 
Haymitch turned towards the television.
“Finnick Odair and Y/N L/N.” He stated, watching the scenes of people he knew, waving towards the crowd of people. Picture perfect smiles adorning their faces.“The Capitol Darlings, everyone loves them … and people to watch out for. Finnick Odair, the youngest Victor in history at only fourteen and Y/N L/N took the top spot for kills from Beetee during her games. Took out nine people in one go. Extremely humble” He shook his head, remembering the brutality.
Katniss made a face. “You’re kidding right?” She snorted.
“Yes, I’m kidding.” Haymitch rolled his eyes. “They’re both peacocks, preeners … The Capitol loves their charm and friendship. They have a lot of support. They would make good allies … but deadly competition.” Haymitch explained.  
“Weaknesses?” Peeta questioned, leaning towards his mentor.
“Finnick will have Mags in there, she basically raised him. He’ll want to protect her in whatever ways he can” Haymitch told them, taking a seat. “Y/N … far too trusting at heart and will do anything to protect them both. She’d rather see herself die than her friends.” He stated.
Katniss simply nodded.
-
Katniss walked into the training room, and scanned her surroundings … She didn’t know these Victors well enough to decide who she wanted to align herself with. According to Haymitch … to make it through the Quarter Quell, she and Peeta needed strong allies. Though she knew deep down the only one she could truly depend on was Peeta. 
Katniss walked towards the bow and arrows laying on the table when she heard the sound of a faint giggle, something she thought she would never hear. She looked up, and her eyes moved around the room … finally they landed on the culprit. She frowned at the sight as she watched a blush rise on Y/N’s face. It wasn’t from endurance training, but from Finnick Odair. 
Katniss had not taken Finnick, refused to, even … he was far too cocky for her taste and she didn’t want him anywhere near her. But Y/N seemed almost enamoured by him … like she liked … whatever the hell was going on.
Katniss made a mental note of the two, as she headed towards Mags … she would keep that to herself for now. She needed to make some friends here, and Katniss thought that Mags would be a good start.
-
“You’re going to get us caught, Finnick.” You blushed, pushing him away as you headed in the opposite direction. “Play it cool, Odair … can’t have everyone knowing about us.” You whispered.
“Sorry.” Finnick put his hands up in defence, a small smile lacing his features. “I’ll try to tone it down but looking at you … that’s going to be hard to do.” 
“Zip it.” You made the motion of your lips. “We’ve got training to do.” You told him, gesturing towards the room.
Everyone else was laser focused on honing their skills, making it known that they were not to be messed with in the Games. But you two were simply goofing off, and giggling like two schoolgirls who had gossip that no one else knew. You were certain that Snow wasn’t pleased, nor was the new Game Maker but you were in your world. Finnick had always made it hard to concentrate on the task at hand.  
You and Finnick had been together for three years. During the 71st Hunger Games you had both been mentors for your respective Districts, and he had confessed to you. It was strange … so confusing to find love in the hardship of the Games but you wouldn’t trade that for the world. You loved him more than anything and he loved you right back. Long distance had been hard at first but you made it work, you would always make it work for him. 
“Find me later?” He asked.
“I know your room number.” You said, smiling towards him.
-
“I don’t know if I’m ready to go back in there.” You whispered, snuggling closer to Finnick.
You knew the plan, and you knew you had to get Katniss and Peeta out of that arena. Plutarch and Haymitch had made that abundantly clear. There was a Rebellion and Plutarch was on your side, he was hiding in plain sight, ready to take down The Capitol. You jumped at the chance to join, even if that meant sacrificing your own life. Finnick had agreed immediately once he knew you were joining. He had always shared your sentiments about having a better future for everyone.
You wanted a better life, a quiet life with him and you would fight for that every single day. You finally had your chance, and you had no idea if it was going to work but you had to try, you had to fight.
“I know.” He whispered, his thumb gliding across your hip. “I’m not either.”
“When we’re in there …” You muttered, kissing his jaw. “You have to remember that Katniss and Peeta are the most important ones there. Okay? You have to protect them first and everything else comes later.” 
He smelt like vanilla, probably from the soap supplied from The Capitol, but it was so soothing to you.
“I … I don’t know if I can do that.” Finnick said, plainly. “I know this Rebellion is important … I know that they are important but they’re not the most important things to me, Y/N. You and Mags will always be far more important than some Rebellion.” 
“Finnick.” You felt the lump rise in your throat.
This could be the last time that you two were together, and you weren’t handling it well. You knew you would never be safe again after winning The Games. You were well aware that you would never have peace again, but you didn’t think you would be in this position ever again. You certainly didn’t want to be here with Finnick.
“Let’s just be together right now.” He said, kissing the top of your head. “Let’s pretend that nothing is going to happen tomorrow and we're just laying under the stars and nothing is going to go wrong.” His breathing started to even out, and his heartbeat steadied your own.
“Okay.” You whispered, desperately swallowing. “Okay.”
-
“Finnick! Katniss!” You cried, chasing them into the woods, Johanna and Peeta on your tail.
The Games hadn’t been going as planned. 
First you had been separated from Finnick, which had caused you great distress. You ended up pairing with Johanna, Beetee and Wiress, fighting your way through blood rain and wild beasts. 
Then you had lost both Wiress and Mags. You had lost so many who joined The Rebellion, you watched the announcements every night and flinched whenever a cannon fired, wondering if you were losing a friend or foe. But you didn’t have time to grieve either of them, so much was at stake. You had to make it through another night to ensure that you would be saved. Giving up when you were so close wasn’t an option
But God you were so tired.
Then … the jabberjays started. 
You hated jabberjays.
They hadn't been used during your games, but you knew they tortured anyone who listened.
You had stepped out to find something food for everyone, and Beetee volunteered to come with you. You were all hungry, and getting weaker, especially after the fight at the cornucopia. You needed some sort of energy, and you weren’t going to see anyone die of starvation. 
You had been gone for maybe twenty minutes when you heard Katniss scream, shortly followed by Finnick. Fear had seized your heart, as you wasted no time chasing the sounds, Beetee desperately calling for you. 
You weren’t afraid to fight whatever threat was out there … especially when Finnick’s life was on the line. You would gladly die if it meant he lived.
You had met up with everyone, chasing down the other two and when you had found them, screaming, Jabberjays fluttering above them … your voice crying for help … you had cried, desperately trying to reach Finnick but to no avail. 
He and Katniss were trapped, writhing on the ground … sobbing and there was nothing you could do but wait.
It had been horrible to watch, you could only imagine what they were experiencing. 
You didn’t care who knew anymore, you would scream from the rooftops that you were in love with Finnick, if that meant he would be okay. You needed him to be okay.
It seemed like hours before the Jabberjays had flown away, and you had run to his side in an instant. Holding him close to you, assuring him that you were okay. 
“Y/N?” His voice sounded so goddamn small.
“I’m here baby.” You whispered, into his ear, gently rocking the man. “I am here, and I am okay. You’re okay.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead.
You were well aware of the shocked eyes on you, no one but Johanna knew anything about the two of you, and you met the brown eyes of Katniss. She seemed the most shocked out of anyone here. You knew she didn’t particularly like Finnick, she had only really met the persona he portrayed to the world. She didn’t know him like you did, you knew his heart.
“Everything is going to be okay.” You told him. “It’s going to be all okay.”
-
“He loves them.” Katniss said after a moment of silence, watching the two figures in the water.
She wondered how she could have missed it, all the signs were there yet she had been shocked. She didn’t understand the two, probably never would but that wasn’t really any of her concern.
“Yeah.” Johanna nodded. “They do. They’ve been through a lot together, I’ve known for a long time that those two were together. It’s disgusting really how much they love each other, they would quite literally kill for one another. Can’t blame them though, when you find someone like that you keep them close to your heart.” She shrugged. 
“I never thought …” Katniss trailed off.
“That anyone could ever love someone that much?” Johanna questioned, crossing her arms. “Well believe it, Katniss, because it’s right there.”
Katniss moved her gaze away from Johanna and back towards the water, the kiss was short and sweet but in that moment she knew that nothing could break those two apart. Nothing would, and they had something worth fighting for.
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satoruhour · 5 months
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LESSON NO. 1
a/n: bassist!geto teaching you how to play the guitar. loosely based off this but not really connected. as requested by @alcospray 💟 i dont play bass so i just watched a whole bunch of videos for just one song - any bass players wanna correct me feel free to do so ;"). only if u look like geto tho /j. they havent say the three words to each other yet, read it with that in mind :3
wc: 2.1k
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“any update from your fan?” gojo nudges him playfully as they wait for the principle of the university to introduce their band for the freshmen orientation, which, weirdly, something that the four of them never thought would happen. they sang about topics that wouldn’t normally get talked about or were shunned — politics, capitalism, authoritarianism — and yet being introduced by the principle of their place of education was quite ironic.
the bassist doesn’t hear gojo at all, not even when his best friend tries to tease him by calling you his fan. there were too many things in geto’s mind way even before this whole performance: his finals, a rival band that sought out to create false rumours about them, you.
always, you, the unexpected distracting thing that infiltrates his mind without fail. from the first night you trodded over to his dorms, opening up to him and letting him take care of you, to the many dates after. he’s taken you to cafés, watched you study way too many times, or simply let you sit through one of his song formation days.
a conscious effort to keep his distance and everything is just you, you, you, and geto is terrified. he’s never liked the kind of love with strings attached, with those mushy, complicated feelings, but no one-night stand, no quick fuck has ever made him feel the way you do.
but lately, he’s seen less of you, unwillingly accepting the principle’s offer to perform for the freshmen because he knew you were one of the group leaders ushering in the new students. at least he could try to search for you in the crowds, even getting a cheeky little text about where your group was meant to sit a week ago. he could be granted at least that when you both have been working so hard for final exams that you two could hardly see each other.
although, throughout their whole set, he sees everyone but you. he loses the bass line often, looks lost on the stage, needs to be cued in, something that never happens to the geto suguru. he’s always been a natural, and yet when it comes to you, you ruin him in the best way possible.
“hey— hey! man, what was that?” gojo slaps him on the back but it doesn’t even register in geto’s head, not really bothered by how he messed up the performance if it wasn’t for gojo’s vocals and shoko adding in her own improvisations for her parts. nanami can only shrug as he comes around to geto’s front.
“she wasn’t there, i looked, too,” nanami mumbled, tapping his drumsticks on his shoulder, “but you’re the most passionate guy i know who loves his guitars and bass lines.”
gojo has to chime in, “he’s the only bass guitarist you know, nanamiii!” and shoko pulls him back with a smack to the back of his head.
the dark-haired guy only clicks his tongue, “sorry ’bout him.”
nanami waves his drumsticks before pointing them at his face, “i know you’re obsessed with her, but i don’t wanna be a drummer if i can’t work with my bassist. sort this out before our next gig. she’s a sweet girl . . just, not when it’s at the expense of the band.”
geto only sighs in relief, landing a hand on his drummer’s shoulder.
“thank you, nanami.” the two exchange smiles before he gives a salute to his other two friends (“do you think he finally loves someone enough for him to be distracted on stage?” shoko says, and gojo gasps dramatically), heading out from the wings and down the stairs at the front of the stage where people look confused at the recent performer looking high and low for where your group was meant to be seated.
he sees not you, but rather your group leader mates who he’s at least seen pictures of, so he has no qualms about heading over to ask about your whereabouts — “the last thing she told our head group leader was that she was down with a nasty flu . . terrible fever and all. our main group leader went to her dorms to check on her and she’s unfit for doing orientations activities. we just sent her loads of soup packets and pei pa koa’s.”
geto laughs at the last part, knowing your need for sweet things. when it’s combined with a soothing coating for your throat, it’s pretty much the only thing you take when you’re sick. with a quick thanks, geto races for the campus bus straight to your dorm, the bass carried on his back rattling with his capo, chord sheets and mute nosily.
at least your annoying roommate’s gone home before school starts so it’s only you when geto knocks on the door. his knuckles rap against the wood, heart breaking when he hears your hoarse voice answer from the other side. soon, he can hear your feet moving towards the door, but it takes a while from how your body is, knocking over some things in the process.
“c-coming!” you groan out, wrapped in layers of clothing and feeling so hot you feel like you were in hell. but you aren’t expecting the sight when you open the door: your boyfriend panting, the guitar case behind him only telling you he’s come straight from the freshmen gig, the expression on his face.
“s-su!” you exclaim, both excitedly and a little worried because you didn’t want to get him sick, something you regret immediately when you go to clutch your throat.
“oh, baby,” geto brushes the hoodie off your head and brushes away the mess of your hair, “you look so pale, i— i would’ve come sooner if i knew—!”
“that’s why i didn’t tell you,” you pout, pushing away his hand gently and stepping back. it hurts to speak, but you feel like you at least need to explain your absence to him, “i was afraid you’d ditch the performance. also— don’t want you to get sick.”
suguru’s expression softens, “don���t worry about me, doll. come,” he takes one more step towards you and you feel so safe with him you don’t take a step away, “let me take care of you.”
the next hours are full of geto, a revered bassist in an upcoming band who dons long hair, piercings and has a menacing dragon down his arm alongside some boots, taking care of you. he runs back and forth between the pantry to make sure you have enough hot water, boiling hot soup to drink, enough layers to keep you warm and even calling gojo to get some tylenol from the supermarket.
“take a breather, sugu, i’m not gonna die,” you laugh slightly with a rasp to your voice, squeezing his hand as you rest against his shoulder. he’s made sure you at least have something in your stomach and enough hot water to power a hot spring, worry showing through his heartbeat when the hand he holds is still so warm.
“you’re heating up loads, baby,” geto frowns, turning his head to plant a kiss on the top of your head. he rolls his eyes when he hears it’s because you’re here. “do you want me to put cool towels on your head?”
you giggle again and cough, sniffling the mucus back up your nose, “no, it’s okay — you’d have to go to the pantry again to get water and i just want . . you here.”
suguru only hums, something akin to a melody that you don’t quite know but you’re happy to listen to his gruff voice anyway. the way he vibrates as he hums sends a calming feeling right to your body, and how he looks and feels so different from the very first time you were alone together.
he seemed so cool, passing the blunt to you and blowing his smoke into your mouth, kissing you like you’re just another girl in his roster; but right now, you were far from it.
now, not only is he still cool, but he’s also the most caring person you know and is something so far from his appearance and band: this is just one in many instances of how much he takes care of you. from the same fingers that strum upon the stainless steel, they travel miles over your body, your face like the first songs he learned on the guitar, weaving a melody and language so intricate only the two of you speak it.
silently, you feel him push you forward while he slots his legs on the other side of your body, letting you naturally rest with your back to his chest. “wanna learn?”
“i am in the most terrible state, suguru,” you whisper, reaching over to take a tissue. there, you blow your nose and clear out your nostrils until the next round, groaning softly at the grossness of the tissue.
“ohh . . but wasn’t someone saying that she isn’t dying?”
your jaw drops, “i can’t believe you would use that against me.”
the corners of your boyfriend’s lips turn up in a sly smile, “just quoting my girl. but—”
this time, he’s the one reaching over much further than you, hand clutching the neck of the guitar through the bag. gently, he settles it on both your laps, laughing when a small oof leaves your lips at just how heavy his bass was.
“i’ll do all the playing, you just mirror my movements.” with one more kiss to your temple, geto reaches around easily to play the starting notes of psycho killer. while there’s a clear layering of the lead, vocals and drums in his head, you’re just left confused by the repetitive bass.
but soon, you’re able to catch the notes that repeat over eight counts, hypnotised by the other’s longer fingers as they transition into the chorus line. it’s a little more complicated, now, descending into chords that you frankly don’t have any grasp on. one look at your face is enough to send him into soft laughter.
“okay, okay, let’s just focus on the verse.” if you weren’t feeling lightheaded from the fever before, you are now when geto curls his hands around yours, placing your finger easily on the fifth fret of the first string.
“so here . . we have the first bar of A notes, easy? then . .” he demonstrates the first four notes, plucking the strings for you before moving it down to the third fret to play the G note. a small smile spreads across his face when you slowly get the hang of it: six notes of A, two eighth notes, and then a G on the same string. geto slowly releases his left, letting you play on the melody while he helps you to pluck.
“that’s it,” still natural, it doesn’t faze geto at all to nuzzle his head into your neck from behind and to start kissing up your shoulder to your jaw, fingers still expertly plucking the string. the both of you repeat the bass line until he’s grabbing your awkward right hand and quietly, he angles your fingers so you’re following him, “you’re a fast learner.”
“i have a great teacher,” you mumble, and suguru doesn’t tell you that you just willingly kissed his jaw out of habit — because he knows you’d freak out at the possibility of getting him sick. it’s sweet, that in your delirious state you’re still acting out of admiration at the back of your mind. like the bass, loving geto feels as natural as the repetitiveness of psycho killer.
the bass notes reverberates through your bodies, just almost acting like a trance that makes your fingers falter upon the steel strings. he goes on to slowly play the chorus, stretching his fingers into weird shapes. he plays various chords, voice cracking just a bit when he tries to sing the vocals and you laugh softly.
“i just don’t have satoru’s higher register.” geto jokes, knowing you’re close to falling asleep from the way you hum and give one worded answers, so he easily takes over from you, changing it to an easy song. you let the low notes of the bass serenade you to sleep as you curl more into your boyfriend, but not before you hear a glimpse of geto’s harmonised singing to yellow.
it’s not often you hear him sing, being a bassist and all, but there is a nice edge to his voice — not quite made for vocals but you know he can do it if he tries. and even if you don’t voice it out, geto thinks the same thing. it’s similar to this stupid love thing that’s got him all tangled up and distracted, too, and he realises so many new things about himself through you.
you give love a fresh breath of life, nothing like the things suguru sings about in his unfinished demos and notebooks — multitude of things that involved you and his fucked-up perceptions and the foolishness of his parents telling him he’d find the same. you are all he thinks about when he sees the black cough syrup and he can’t stop craving the feel of your body against his.
the moment your breathing turns even and you sag against his embrace is when the strings stops and his breathing escalates. in geto suguru’s arms is the personification of something he never thought he would let into his life, yet you carry the choirs of love and acceptance so effortlessly like heath’s bass guitar solos and atsushi sakurai’s spotless vocals.
suguru’s head simply falls onto your unknowing shoulder, a small fuck that leaves his lips and a smile that he can’t contain is all he needs to know.
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@mysugu @suget @slttygeto @na-t0 💟
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writingonleaves · 2 months
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got lovestruck, went straight to my head (got lovesick all over my bed) - nico hischier
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universe: nico hischier x clementine sandoval (the blue au)
warnings: swearing, mentions of stuff you'd typically see in the hospital (death, etc), author has never been to switzerland (but wants to!!), fluff! angst if you squint
title: "slut!" by taylor swift
word count: 23k (originally 27k but had to be cut down bc tumblr apparently has a limit of blocks per post??? lol)
author's note: long anticipated (official) part two to this little ditty. takes place pretty much right where the first part left off and goes until january 2025. i love clem. i love clem and nico. i love this whole world, and it loves all of you right back. thanks for all the love, truly. it means so much. here are some more slice of life moments that will probably rot your teeth because they're so sweet! enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!!
~*~*~
Devils fans love Nico Hischier, Clementine realizes, as she waits in a cafe across the back entrance of The Rock, looking outside as Nico takes the time to sign things and take pictures with the fans.
To some extent, after being in Jersey for a full season now, she knows how adored he is — the multitude of 13 jerseys during every game and how she has never heard a single bad thing said about him, whether that be as a person, captain or player. But right now, she’s smiling as he thanks the fans for their support when she knows he was devastated less than 48 hours prior. 
This team, their fans and this community love their captain. They’d go to the ends of the world for him, she’s convinced. 
She feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulls it out with a smile. 
Nico Hischier 
Meet me at my car in 5 mins? ❤️
She smiles, just liking the text before slinging her bag over her shoulders, grabbing her half finished coffee and going back to the counter to order a cappuccino for Nico. She thanks the barista when he’s done, grabs the cappuccino and goes back down to the parking garage. 
Nico’s leaning against his car on his phone, but puts it away when he sees her walking to him. She shuffles over quickly and gives him a quick kiss. She doesn’t think she’ll get used to that. 
“Hi.” 
“Hey.” The fondness tinged at the short greeting isn’t new, Clementine knows now, but it makes her smile all the same. “Thanks for the coffee. Sorry I took so long,” he says, taking his coffee and opening the passenger door. 
“You’re good,” she slides in and waits for him to get to the driver’s seat. “You doing alright?”
He starts the engine and looks over at her with a soft smile. “Yeah.”
“You sure?”
He reaches over to give her thigh a comforting squeeze after backing out. ‘I’m sure. I promise. Play some music.”
“Do you even like my music?”
“I listen to anything. You know that.”
She chuckles, plugging in her phone. “They love you.”
“Hm?”
“The fans. I was watching outside the windows of the cafe.”
He shrugs. “They’re always great. Have been good to me since I came into the league and have stuck by us.”
She looks at him thoughtfully. “They also have nothing but respect for their captain, who led them through the season extraordinarily well despite all the downs.” She leans her head on his arm for a few seconds. “I know it’s hard, but try not to blame yourself too much. You can’t and shouldn’t carry all that weight. The boys know that. The fans know that.”
He nods and looks over at her with a smile. “Gotten good at that throughout the years, hey? Comforting people after big losses.”
“Tell me about it.” She thinks back to when Quinn and Jack lost the gold medal match in 2019 at World Juniors and both times Luke’s dream of winning a national championship with Michigan fell short. And those are just the ones she can think of off the top of her head. “I’m serious though. It’ll come for you guys. I know it will.”
“Thanks, Schätzli.” Oh. That’s also a new development. The first time it slipped out, Nico had almost taken it back with wide, panicked eyes. But Clementine had promptly pulled him down to kiss her. 
The team all chipped in to rent out a rooftop bar in Tribeca tonight to celebrate their season, the multitude of birthdays that occurred during the last part of the season that they couldn’t really celebrate at the time, and to just hang out before people start dispersing for the off-season. Therefore, Clementine purposefully volunteered for the overnight shift the day before and took a four hour nap before she tagged along to locker cleanout. She hid out in the cafe while they all had to do their end-of-season duties.
But they have a few hours to kill before heading into Manhattan, so the new couple spend the afternoon at Liberty State Park, enjoying the rare instance since the night of their first kiss where they’ve both been free. Clementine’s packed a small cooler with some tiny sandwiches, fruit and small bottles of wine. Nico lays out a blanket and Clementine toes off her sandals. It’s beautiful outside, and after she’s done munching on the food, she finds herself laying her head in Nico’s lap as he plays with her hair, talking about everything and nothing. Occasionally he just leans down to place a kiss on her forehead or cheek and she feels her throat closing up everytime at the sweetness of the gesture. 
They have limited time before Nico heads back home to Switzerland. She’ll take all the moments she can get.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Uh oh,” she jokes. “Should I be nervous?”
“No, no, no. It’s just..maybe a bit of a weird question.”
“Nico. I deal with kids on a daily basis. And other residents who have no sense of boundaries. And Jack and Luke where all social cues are nonexistent. Almost nothing fazes me at this point.”
“Well, of course I’ve seen you around Jack and Luke so I know what your relationship is like with them. But how are you with Quinn?”
“Huh. Why do you ask?”
Nico twirls a piece of her hair around his finger. “They’ve mentioned a couple of times how I remind them of Quinn sometimes, which you know, I think is a compliment. I respect Quinn a lot as a player and he did a great job captaining that team this year. But, I don’t know. I’m just curious.” 
Clementine smiles easily. “Luke’s my baby and Jack’s like the most annoying little brother you could ask for, but yeah. Quinn is..he’s also like a little brother, but he’s also my best friend. I think Quinn and I are the most similar in terms of how we think. So I guess that leads to a sense of…understanding? Like, on a different level than with Luke and Jack. And if you think I’m protective of Jack and Luke, I’m probably even worse with Quinn. He’s just always so busy looking after the other two that he sometimes forgets he needs to look out for himself too.”
“Then who looks after you?”
“Hm?”
“If you’re busy looking after those three, who looks after you?”
She sits up as he lets her hair fall from his fingers. She plops a strawberry in his mouth. “I don’t need anyone to look after me.”
“Those three don’t need anyone to look after them.” He points out. 
“Lies. You think Luke and Jack are annoying now? They were ten times worse before. And you think Luca and Nina don’t still feel a responsibility to look after their little brother? I haven’t even met them and I think I know the answer.” She shrugs, hooking her chin on his shoulder. “I don’t mind, really. They also, in a way, look after me as well, especially as we’ve gotten older. But I don’t think I answered your question. I guess you’ll have to see Quinny and I together and see for yourself.”
He hums, kissing her forehead twice. “You gotta take some time to look after yourself too. You’re no use to them if you don’t.”
“I know. I think I’ve managed the balance well. And you’re partially right. I don’t need to look after them as much anymore, especially since now Quinny has a girlfriend who I still haven’t met and you look after Jack and Luke plenty.”
Nico snorts. “I’m sure you’ll get to meet Quinn’s girlfriend this summer.”
“If the fucker answered my calls, that would be a start,” she says. “Are you all packed to go yet?”
“Not at all.”
He literally leaves in two days. “God, you all really are the same breed. I bet I could pack all your shit in an hour. Maybe even less.”
He smirks. “Is that a challenge?”
“No. Pack your own stuff. You’re a grown man.”
He laughs, and they switch positions. Now his head is in her lap and she’s running her hand through his hair. She’s still learning things about Nico, but she’s pretty sure that he likes her playing with his hair more than she likes him playing with hers. He clears his throat. “And, um, I don’t need to pack yet. I’m staying in Jersey a bit longer.”
“Yeah? How much longer?”
“Like, June 7? So what is that..three weeks?”
She blinks. “Nico, I don’t-”
“This has nothing to do with you,” he says, before grimacing. “That’s not what I mean. It actually has a lot to do with you. But it was my choice. I’m in no rush to get back, in terms of training and all that. Plus, a bunch of the guys are staying for a bit too. And I want to spend time with you, because I do have…what did you say? ‘Impeccably shit timing.’”
“I just want to make it clear that you don’t have to stay just for me,” she assures softly. “I know you miss home and I understand the importance of an off season.”
He looks up at her earnestly, “Spending time with you is also important to me.”
Her heart soars as she traces his lips with her thumb. He catches her hand and kisses her knuckles. “Well, I’m not gonna complain about that.”
The rooftop bar that night is a fun time, even if she feels very much out of her tax bracket. She chats with pretty much everyone, much more comfortable than she was at the start of the season. People egg her on to share childhood stories of Jack and Luke, which she has plenty of. And even if they both groan and act embarrassed, she knows they love it. The drinks are plentiful and she likes seeing everyone let loose the way they can’t during the season. She’s sure the team is still disappointed from their season to some extent, so it’s nice to see them all smile and laugh and generally have a good time. 
At some point in the night, she’s sitting by herself for some space, admiring the skyline with a ginger ale in her hands, taking a break from the alcohol she’s consumed tonight. 
“Social butterfly finally tired out?”
She looks up to see Jack, cheeks flushed and hair adorably tousled, staring down at her. She scooches over to offer him a seat. “A bit. It just hit me that I’m running on four hours of sleep.”
He snorts, sitting down. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” He tucks himself into her side like he used to do as a kid, taking her arm and using it as a pillow. “We still on for dinner tomorrow? Just me, you and Lukey?”
“Of course. I gotta get my fix in before you all leave me to hang with all your friends.”
Jack shoves her lightly. “We’re literally staying in Jersey until the end of the month. Or the Northeast, at least.”
“Okay, and Trevor literally flies in in two days. And then you and Luke’s friends are gonna rotate in and out. I’ll be lucky if I get a second of quiet at the apartment.”
Jack laughs, but then a worried look crosses his face. “I told them that under no circumstance can they enter your room without your permission. I don’t want them being here to fuck up your schedule.”
She waves him off. “It’s fine, Jack. I promise. Besides, I’ll just hide out at Nico’s if I need. Did he tell you that he’s staying a bit longer?”
His smirks. “He did. Mom invited him to spend the long weekend with us up in New Hampshire.”
“He didn’t mention that.”
“Probably because I literally just told him an hour ago when Mom texted me. You know this means he’s gonna be meeting Maeve, right?”
She blinks. “Shit, yeah. A bit soon, no?”
To her surprise, instead of agreeing or making fun of her, Jack just shrugs. “I don’t think so. You and Nico are the real deal.”
Her mouth drops open a bit in shock. “Oh.” 
Jack just shoots her an award-winning grin. “And Maeve is gonna love him.”
That, Clementine thinks, is most definitely true,
As they drive home, she’s in the passenger seat with Luke and Jack in the back, quietly dozing off. Nico’s hand is on her thigh as she’s queuing songs up on her phone. Even after living in the city for almost a year now, she still finds herself in awe at the NYC skyline, especially on the rare chance she gets to see it from the angle of leaving the city in a car this late. Her attention is brought elsewhere when she feels a squeeze on her thigh. She looks at Nico and smiles. 
(It’s hard to not smile when she looks at Nico)
“You have fun?” He asks softly, careful not to disturb the brothers in the back. 
“Lots,” she responds. “Thanks for having me.”
“Of course,” he says. “I think there would have been an uproar if you hadn’t come. Everyone loves having you around.”
“Jack told me you’re invited to Memorial Day weekend celebrations in New Hampshire.”
“Yeah. It was sweet of Ellen to invite me. It’ll be fun to experience a classic summer weekend out here.” He suddenly looks at her, worried. “That’s okay, right? I don’t wanna intrude.”
“What? Of course it’s fine. It’s gonna be a chill weekend with good food and a lot of sun. You know you’re gonna be meeting my mom, right?”
“Is that a problem? Moms usually like me. Ellen likes me, I think.”
Clementine rolls her eyes. “No, I just, as long as you know.”
Nico looks over at her. “Your mom’s clearly important to you and raised a beautiful woman. I’m excited to meet her.” She swallows roughly. Nico changes topics easily. “Have you figured out your plans for the summer? How much vacation time do you have?”
“Not much. Maybe, like, two weeks at most. I’m still trying to figure it out. The boys invited me to Michigan, which would be fun. I haven’t been back there for a bit. Some of my friends from med school are going to meet back up in California at some point.”
“Two very different options.”
“Yeah. I probably need to figure it out soon though so I can request the leave.”
“Have you thought about Switzerland?”
She’s looking out her window, so she doesn’t see the hesitant but honest look on his face. “Showing me your hometown already, Cap?” She jokes
“If you want.” She whips her head to look at him. Oh. He’s serious. He backtracks. “I-I get if you think it’s too soon, but you’ve mentioned that you wanna go back. And I could show you around. Or we could go to other places in Europe too. I-I feel bad that I’m about to leave when we haven’t gotten quality time together which I know is partially my fault-”
She pushes her chin into his arm, looking up at him as he briefly looks down at her before focusing back on the road. “You’d be okay with that? Me coming to your hometown?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” 
“We just started dating officially..what, like a month ago? Not even?” She looks to the backseat to ensure that Jack and Luke are still asleep, or are at least faking it to give them some sort of privacy. They are. She turns back around. “I don’t…I just don’t want you to feel like you- I-you’re really important to me,” she admits with a swallow. “I don’t wanna mess it up by moving too fast.”
“You’re not messing anything up,” Nico takes her hand and kisses the back of it. “I’m not gonna push you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I would absolutely love to show you around where I grew up and spend more time together.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course,” he assures. “Take all the time you need.”
She leans to kiss his cheek. 
…..
“Switzerland?” Luke practically screeches. “To introduce you to his family?”
Clementine rolls her eyes, sliding him a glass of orange juice across the counter. Trevor giggles into his coffee and without looking, she smacks the back of his head. 
“Switzerland because it’s beautiful and to spend time with my boyfriend,” Clementine says pointedly. 
“Go frolic in Europe with your new boyfriend,” Trevor grins. “You deserve it. Jacky tells me you’re barely home.”
“I’m trying to become a doctor, Trev. I signed up for not having a life.”
“Exactly, which is an even better reason to go visit your hot boyfriend in Europe.” Jack and Luke give their old friend a weird look. Trevor just shrugs. “What? Your captain’s a good looking guy, and you’re delusional if you think differently.”
“I don’t care if Nico is the hottest person in the world. He’s kissing my sister. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.” Luke says with a wrinkled nose. 
Jack chuckles, ruffling his little brother’s hair. “Well, get used to it, Moose. And it’s kinda our fault. I mean, we’re the ones who wanted this all season. It’s fucking hilarious that they decided to start a relationship when they did though.” He comes up behind Clementine and pokes her side, rinsing his plate before putting it in the dishwasher. “Z’s right. You should go. Even if that means you wouldn’t be able to come to Michigan.”
“Aw, Clemmy’s missing the Michigan trip again?” Trevor whines. “Nevermind. Fuck your boyfriend.”
“I haven’t been to Michigan in three years so I don’t know what you’re whining about,” Clementine snorts. “And you can’t get rid of me that quickly. Especially because I, you know, live here and y’all are going to be around for who knows how long.” She taps Trevor’s phone on the counter to check the time. “Alright, I gotta head to the hospital. See you guys later.”
“Bye!”
“Love you.”
“See you tonight? What time will you be back?”
“11? Midnight the latest,” she grabs her pasta salad lunch from the fridge into her tote bag. “Have fun. Call if you need me. The usual.”
“Be safe,” Jack calls out. She clicks the door shut. 
Her phone buzzes in her hand. She laughs out loud. 
Quinny Hughes
Heard you’re going to Switzerland? 
She rolls her eyes. It’s nice to know the brothers’ group chat is still as active and rapid as ever.
Clementine Sandoval 
all three of you are actually the worst
and i’m older than all of you don’t be trying to parent me
Quinny Hughes
So you are going. 
At least get us some good chocolate then.
Clementine Sandoval
lol i miss you
did you ever figure out if you’re coming to nh for memorial day?
it’s literally in two days i hope you have an answer
Quinny Hughes
Yeah I am. Especially now that you aren’t coming to Michigan this summer. Jack and Luke get to see you all the time it’s my turn.
And I’ll get to interrogate your new boyfriend.
Clementine Sandoval
sigh 
are you at least bringing lauren
Quinny Hughes
Yup.
Clementine Sandoval 
fantastic
finally another fucking girl
Quinny Hughes
Lol. See you soon❤️
Clementine smiles before starting her car. 
…..
Two days later, Jack, Luke, Trevor, Nico and Clementine pile into Jack’s car to head up to the Hughes family’s lakehouse to spend the long weekend. She lets Luke have the passenger seat because it’s a five hour drive and he has the longest legs. Additionally, she finds great amusement in seeing Nico and Trevor interact and getting to sit in the middle of them and put her head on Nico’s shoulder and her legs over Trevor’s lap. Though, with Trevor’s constant yapping, Nico’s surprisingly unhinged stories, Jack’s loud laughter and Luke’s tendency to make a comment on everything, the drive goes by so damn slow that by the time they roll into the driveway, Clementine is practically shoving Trevor to get out of the car.
At the front door, Ellen’s laughing and Clementine rushes over to her second mother to give her a big hug. 
Ellen rocks her back and forth. “It’s so good to see you, my girl.”
“You literally saw her three weeks ago?” Jack says, coming up behind them.
“Hide your jealousy better, Jacky,” Clementine teases. “It’s always good to see you, Ellen.” Jim comes up behind his wife and she beams. “Hi Jimmy!”
He laughs, wrapping her in a fatherly hug. “Hi Sunshine. El made sangria for everyone, and it’s still cold.”
Clementine lights up. “Oh amazing. I’ll grab a glass after I get my stuff.” She turns around to see Nico coming up the stairs with both his and her bags in his hands. 
A knowing smile appears on Jim’s face. “Think that’s already covered.” She rushes to help him out but Nico just swats her away. Jim nods at Nico. “Good to see you again, Nico.”
“Good to see you too, Mr. Hughes,” he puts his bags down to shake Jim’s hand and hug Ellen, as Jack, Luke and Trevor clamber into the house. “Thank you both so much for having me.”
“Anytime, Nico!” Ellen beams. “And please, call us by our first names. You’re family, especially after recent developments.” 
Clementine rolls her eyes as Nico immediately becomes flustered. “Really? Mom’s not even here yet.”
“Oh can you blame me, Clementine? Now I don’t have to hear Jack and Luke whine about when their sister and captain are going to get together.” Ellen says. “But I’ll be cool for now. Why don’t you show Nico up to your room and drop all your stuff off? Your mom picked up Quinn and Lauren from Logan and should be here any minute. Boys!” She calls out and Jack, Luke and Trevor magically appear and Clementine rolls her eyes. “Take your stuff up to your rooms so no one trips over your things. Trevor and Jack, you’re sharing.”
Trevor turns to Jack with a kissy face and Jack grimaces. “You and me, Jacky boy! Just like old times.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” Jack says dryly as Luke chuckles. Jack glares at his younger brother. “How come you get a solo room?”
“Because Quinn and Lauren are getting the other room.”
“And where is Maeve staying?”
“Probably in the basement so she doesn’t have to deal with all you guys.” Clementine retorts. 
Jack turns to his parents. “You’re letting Clee and Nico share a room? And Quinn and Lauren?”
“We’re adults, you know?” Clementine sighs, pinching her nose. “You guys are exhausting. Move out of my way so we can get through.” She hears Nico stifle a laugh as they reluctantly clear a pathway. “Somehow they’re even more annoying during off-season than during the season,” she says as they climb up the stairs.
“It’s fine,” Nico chuckles. “It’s nice. The chaos, I mean. Tells a lot about who you are.”
“Don’t associate me with those fools,” Clementine says with no heat as she pushes open the door to the room in this house that’s always been designated as hers. “Here we are.”
Nico puts the bags down and immediately scans some of the photos framed on the wall. He ‘aww’s and she turns around to find him staring at the one of her and the boys during her UCLA graduation. “You guys are such babies here.”
“A week before Jack got drafted,” Clementine recalls fondly. “The boys surprised me. I didn’t think they were gonna come because they had so much hockey stuff going on.”
“You went to all their drafts, right?” Nico says. Clementine nods. “So of course they were there during one of your biggest moments.” Nico points to another photo of both families when they were all at this exact lake house. Her dad’s in this one. “When was this taken?”
“2013.” Clementine smiles sadly. “It was the last summer my dad came here. I know it’s one of Ellen’s favorites. Mine too.”
Nico hums, kissing her temple gently before scanning the rest of the room. It’s mostly white with some rustic elements, splashes of tan and ocean blue in the comforter and the sparse decorations.  “Would I be right in assuming that this room hasn’t changed much since you were young?”
“It’s definitely cleaner,” Clementine laughs. “I know Jim and El use it as a guest room, but whenever I get the chance to come back, they say it’s mine.” There’s the sound of the front door opening and a cacophony of greetings floating through the room. She turns her body towards him and looks up at him. “Are you sure about this?”
“Well, even if I wasn’t, it’s a bit too late now, isn’t it?” He says. She pokes him in the side. He leans down to gently peck her lips twice. “Why are you so nervous? Shouldn’t I be the one who’s nervous?” 
She chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Let’s go down.”
They walk down the stairs, Nico close behind her but not quite touching her. Clementine beams as she watches her mom hug Luke and put her hands on his cheeks before greeting Jack in the same way. She knows her mom doesn’t ever miss seeing the Devils or the Canucks when they’re playing the Bruins in Boston, but that only totals to usually only three games a season. 
Clementine thinks a lot about how she sees Jim and Ellen as her parents. It’s during these moments does she remember that the boys see her mom the exact same way. 
Maeve’s eyes flit up to the stairs and she raises an eyebrow. “My beautiful daughter. You look exhausted.”
Clementine snorts. “Thanks, Mom.” She descends down the last step and hugs her mother tightly, breathing in the scent that has comforted her on the best and worst days. She catches Quinn’s eye over Maeve’s shoulder as Trevor is chatting in his ear and she can’t help but grin. 
Maeve pulls away and eyes Nico, a half smile on her face. “And you must be the infamous Nico.”
Nico chuckles, eyes widening momentarily as Maeve pulls him into a hearty hug. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Sandoval.”
Maeve lets out an affronted noise. “None of that. Call me Maeve. You European boys and your politeness.” Clementine laughs under her breath. “It’s so nice to meet you! My daughter hasn’t mentioned how handsome you are.”
“Probably because she’s the one carrying in the looks department of the relationship.” Nico grins charmingly and Clementine feels so fucking fond.
She then begins to leave her boyfriend and her mom to converse and turns to Quinn. Time with Quinn is always scarce. She leans up to wrap her arms around his neck. “Hey Q.”
“Hey Clem.” 
Clementine turns to the beautiful girl next to him. “And you must be Lauren. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She also pulls the girl into a hug. “Quinn’s been keeping you away from me.”
Quinn shoots his older sister a dirty look. “That’s not true. It’s not my fault you don’t live in California any more.”
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Lauren says softly. “Quinn’s told me so much about you. I love your pants.”
Clementine looks down at her cream flowy pants with a wide smile. “Oh thank you! You’re gorgeous. How in the world did Quinn land you?”
Lauren laughs as Quinn groans. “Clem.”
“I’m kidding!” She ruffles his hair. “Damn, let me have my fun. I don’t get to do this often. And don’t pretend that you’re not about to grill Nico this entire weekend.”
“She’s got you there,” Lauren says with a laugh.
Trevor comes up inbetween the girls. “Have you met this one yet?” Clementine asks.
Lauren nods. “I have. Kinda. Hi Trevor. Quinn’s also told me a lot about you.”
Trevor’s eyes widen as he pulls Lauren into a side hug. “Never listen to anything Quinn says about me. He’s mean to me.”
“You guys are all mean to each other,” Clementine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to make.” 
Maeve claps her hands. “Out of the doorway and into the backyard, everyone! El made sangria and it’s too nice to be inside.” She picks up her bags but is swatted away by Luke, who takes the bags from her hands. Maeve kisses him on the cheek. “Thanks, honey.”
Jack rolls his eyes as they all start walking towards the kitchen. “We get it, Maeve. Luke is your favorite.” Ellen gives him a warning look as Quinn snorts. 
“You know,” Maeve starts. “I was about to tell you how glad I am to see you. But with that comment, I’ll abstain.” Jack pouts and Maeve rolls her eyes but messes up his hair fondly. 
Nico places his hand on Clementine’s back and leans down to mutter in her ear. “I see where you get your sass from.”
Clementine chuckles under her breath. “You gotta have some sass to deal with them. My mom’s the blueprint.”
Everyone grabs a glass of sangria before they migrate outside. Clementine finds herself sitting in between Lauren and Luke, Nico sitting by her legs with everyone else in various chairs or on the grass in some sort of circle. Clementine automatically carding her fingers though Nico’s hair as she speaks to Lauren and Quinn. She still can’t believe they’ve been dating for over a year and she’s only met Lauren now. 
If she was still in California, she would’ve flown her ass to Vancouver and parked herself at Quinn’s apartment at the first chance she had. 
While she’s listening in on a conversation between Nico, Quinn and Trevor, she catches both her mom and Ellen’s eyes on her. She narrows her eyes. She sees her mom not-so-subtly eyeing her hand in Nico’s hair and him leaning back against her legs. 
Jack notices, looking between the two of them with a smirk. “Thoughts, Maeve?”
“Jack,” Clementine says in a warning tone. Nico squeezes her ankle in reassurance. 
“I didn’t even say anything!” 
Maeve chuckles, and Clementine sees her smile, the same smile that everyone says she also has. “Nothing in particular. Just thinking about how fun your time in Jersey has probably been so far.”
Clementine bites her lip, closed lipped-smile threatening to burst through the seams. “It could be worse.” 
As expected, Jack rolls his eyes and Luke gives her a dirty look. “Well, what could make it better?” Luke asks. 
“If you guys cooked more for me.”
Quinn looks at his brothers with a disapproving look. “You’re making Clem cook for all of you? Guys, come on. She’s busier than all of us combined.”
Jack’s jaw drops wide open as Trevor cackles. “That’s not even true! We cook for you. Just not as much because you’re just a better cook. And you always have leftovers.” Jack reaches over to whack Clementine’s shoulder. “Stop making us look like bad roommates.”
Clementine chuckles to herself. She has a lot of favorite things in life, but making fun of her brothers and throwing them under the bus has to be at the top. 
Nico looks up at her and she has to stop herself from leaning down and kissing him silly. “That cake you baked me for my birthday is still the best dessert I’ve had in awhile.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re just being nice. And, I baked another one for Jack and Luke, which circles back to my point.”
Ellen starts lightly scolding her two youngest for not cooking more and Clementine snickers as she feels Nico’s shoulders shake as he’s trying to hold back his laugh. She drops his hands from his hair and instead leans forward, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. He automatically grabs her wrists and keeps his hands there. She places a quick kiss to the side of his head. 
(Without their knowledge, Maeve catches the romantic motion. She doesn’t even bother to hide her smile.)
It’s not the first time she’s seen Nico around the people she loves, but that whole weekend, she watches him and her mom get along so well, him offer to help out Ellen and Jim for meals, him shove Trevor into the lake when he’s being an absolute pest, him sitting down with Quinn by the fire one night a bit away from everyone to talk about something that neither Quinn or Nico will tell her about so she knows it’s about her. 
He slips so easily into the most important part of her life. Clementine doesn’t quite love him yet, but she’s real close. 
Their last night, as they’re getting ready to sleep, Clementine's just staring at Nico from her bed as he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He catches her eye in the mirror and smiles, but toothpaste dribbles down his chins causing him to curse and her to laugh. 
When he climbs under the covers, she places her head on his chest. “Thanks.” 
“For?” 
“Coming here. I’m sure it’s a lot.” 
“It’s not,” he assures gently. “Why would it be?” 
She shrugs, because he’s right, in a sense. “Families are always a lot, no matter how good they are. And I know Quinn and Jimmy grilled you way more than necessary.” 
“Baby,” he rubs up and down her arm. “I knew that was gonna happen as soon as I was invited here. They were more than fine. Jack and Luke’s threats were way worse.”
“They’re annoying.” 
“They love you,” he says. “And they’re protective of you. I get it. I’m the same way with Nina.” 
She shifts so she’s eye level with him. “About that…” 
“Hm?” 
“I got the okay from my supervisors to take two weeks off.” 
“Oh yeah?” 
“Can I still come to see you in Switzerland?” She asks, biting her lip, nervous all of a sudden. 
Nico kisses her soundly. “Of course,” he mutters against her lips. “Yes. When?”
“I was thinking early July?” 
“To spend your birthday?” 
“If you’ll have me.” 
He squeezes her exaggeratingly, making her giggle. “You’re silly. Of course. Is there anywhere you really wanna go?” 
“I mean, I’ll go anywhere.”
“I can take you all around Switzerland. Give you the grand tour.”
“That sounds perfect,” she swallows before bringing up something that’s very important to her. “I’m paying half.” 
Nico counters back immediately. “One third.” 
She scoffs. She was prepared for this disagreement. “Half.” 
“Hey,” he kisses the top of her head. “You’re coming to see me. The least I can do is handle all of that.” 
“You’re housing me and taking me around. I’m paying for half.” 
“Nope.”
“Nico. I am perfectly capable of paying for myself.” 
“You pay for your own plane tickets and I got the rest.” 
“I pay for my own plane tickets and meals and then you got the rest.” 
“Schätzli. Let me take care of it, yeah? I want to. And I’m perfectly capable of doing so.” 
“I don’t want you to think I’m a gold digger,” Clementine says with a bit of a whine, making Nico snort. 
“I know you’re not a gold digger. If you were, you’d actually let Jack pay for you more. You know he makes more than I do, right?”
“Weird flex.”
“You pay for your plane tickets and some meals,” he compromises. “Save the rest up for something else. Buy Luke a new suit for his birthday or something.” 
She chuckles. “He does need one.” 
“Exactly.” 
Clementine lets out relenting a sigh. She’ll just have to sneak her card in here or there. “Okay.” 
“Okay?” 
“Yeah. I just really don’t want you to think I’m mooching off you or anything.” 
“I’ve never thought of it like that at all, I promise,” he assures. She settles back against his chest again. “I’m so excited for you to come.” 
“I hope your family doesn’t hate me.” 
“They won’t.” And he says it so confidently that she has to believe him. “No one could hate you. Besides, Nina’s been dying to meet you and Luca wants to know the ‘girl who’s voluntarily dealing with my shit.’”
She laughs, turning to shut off the lamp. “Still. You’re their baby brother.” 
He pouts. “I’m not a baby.” 
She rolls her eyes. “I’m convinced.” She yawns, tossing a blanket over them both. “We should sleep. Gotta have energy to deal with the hooligans in the car tomorrow.” 
He laughs, kissing her forehead. “Goodnight.” 
*****
Clementine offers to drive Nico to the airport before she goes to the hospital, even though he tries to vehemently fight her on it. Clementine ultimately wins the argument, wanting to spend as much time as possible before he leaves. 
“It’s only a month,” she reminds him as she kills the engine at the curbside of the departure terminal at Newark Liberty International Airport, biting her lip to also assure herself. 
He leans over the console to kiss her sweetly. “I know,” he murmurs against her lips. “That’s a long time though.”
She runs a hand through his hair. He leans into it instinctively. “I’ll be there with you before you know it. You’ll be having too much fun catching up with family and friends to even think about me.”
“Not true.” She rolls her eyes with a smile as they both climb out of the car. Nico finishes unloading his luggage from the trunk as he carries it to the curb. Clementine’s amazed that no one has yelled at them for parking by the curbside too long yet.
She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly, leaning her head on his chest and breathing in deeply, trying to memorize his scent. “I’ll miss you.”
“I miss you already,” he mutters into her hair. “I’ll call.”
“You fucking better,” she shoots back with no bite. “Have fun, okay? Enjoy your time off.”
He kisses her one more time, which turns into three more times. Clementine bites her lower lip as he backs away to try not to cry. He brushes his thumb against her cheek. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
She nods with a shaky smile. “Yeah. Text me before you take off.”
“Of course.” He clasps his hand on his suitcase handles and backs away with a sweet smile. “Bye, baby.”
After he walks through the doors, she promptly drives herself to the train station, music playing louder than normal to hopefully drown out her own loud thoughts. She parks to see a text from Nico saying that he’s at the gate, a horribly-angled selfie of him and a coffee he must’ve bought. 
Clementine saves it.
…..
It’s only been eleven days since Nico flew back to Switzerland. They text everyday and FaceTime when the time differences allow. She always wakes up to a good morning text and a mini photo dump of pictures he’s taken that day. Sometimes they’re of the beautiful sights of Bern or Naters or wherever he is. Sometimes they’re literally just a picture of his toast for breakfast. But they’re nice to receive. And at his urging, she sends similar photo dumps back. His favorites are the selfies she takes at work. Bonus points if she’s wearing the scrubs he got her for Christmas. 
She goes to the hospital. She spends sporadic time with Quinn, Jack, Luke and other stragglers who show up at the apartment before they all head back to Michigan or wherever else. Nico relaxes with his friends and family. 
She misses him like a limb. 
…..
Clementine’s phone rings as she’s sipping on her coffee while sitting at a cafe by the hospital. She raises an eyebrow when she sees who’s calling. 
“Quinn. Hey.”
“Hi Clem. Are you busy?”
“You have me for about 15 minutes. What’s up?” She hears a sniffle and immediately she sits up straighter. “Quinny? Is everything okay?”
“Lauren and I broke up.”
She squeezes her eyes shut. “Fuck. Oh Quinn, I’m so sorry. When did this happen?”
“Earlier this morning. She-she called it off. Over the phone.”
“Over the phone?” Clementine tries to level her voice and judgment. “Wasn’t she just in Michigan?”
“She left last week.”
“Fuck, Quinn. How are you feeling?”
“I just, I’m just really sad, I guess. And a bit confused.” She gives him a moment to think. “I know she was voicing concerns about the distance and stuff, but we had talked about it and I thought we had come to a conclusion. I guess we left that conversation feeling very differently.”
Clementine picks at her nails, “What was her reasoning? Did she have any?”
“She said the distance wasn’t worth it anymore.” Quinn trails off and Clementine puts it together, her heart breaking for him as she finishes the thought for him. 
That Quinn wasn’t worth it anymore. 
Clementine grinds her teeth together. “Fuck her,” she says. “I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but I’m serious. What the fuck? She just suddenly decided that after dating for over a year that she couldn’t do it anymore?”
“Yeah. I’m confused about that too. When she was talking and explaining her reasoning over the phone I was just, like, shell-shocked. I think I froze. She was bringing up things that she hadn’t ever brought up before and I don’t know, it just felt like she had made the decision to break up with me before I even picked up the phone. It wouldn’t have mattered what I said.”
“That’s shitty, Quinny. How unfair.”
“I mean,” she knows he’s shrugging on the other side of the phone. She wishes she could hug him. “I know I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend and there were underlying issues, but I-I tried my best.”
“I know, Quinn. I know,” Clementine sighs. How do you comfort one of your best friends through heartbreak when you can’t actually be there? “Q, I’m so sorry. I have to head back to work, but I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Oh. That’s okay. You don’t have to. Thanks for listening anyways.”
“I’ll call you back tonight. I promise. I love you. Hang in there.”
“Thanks, Clem. Love you too.”
Clementine manages to do one thing she does very well, which is push something out of her mind and focus on the task at hand. The second she clocks out of the hospital, on her commute back to Hoboken, she thinks through how she wants to talk this through with Quinn. It’s not her first time talking someone through a break-up, so she’s learned a few tricks and phrases here and there. Like most things, it just comes with repetition.  
But this is also Quinn. Her best friend. All her previous experience might not work and might not even matter.
She calls him as soon as she finishes her shower. She lets him talk for over two hours to the point where she has to adjust her position on the couch to be near an outlet so her phone can charge. 
There’s nothing really to say in a situation like this, as Quinn details what sounds a lot like heartbreak. She wishes she was in Michigan and could give him the tightest hug. Watching and hearing his sniffles through the phone has her throat closing up and all she can do is listen.
But as she climbs into her bed that night, she lets out a breath. She’s sure it hurts so much now, but Quinn will find a way. 
He always does. 
…..
Clementine’s phone reads 6:28 a.m. local time when she lands in Zurich. She yawns as she watches the plane taxi to their gate, Taylor Swift’s “august” playing softly in her ears. Somehow, the two seats next to her were empty so she had her own row the whole flight, meaning she got to go up and pee without bothering a single person. 
She turns on her phone, and texts the chat with the Hughes / Sandoval families that she’s landed, before thumbing over to her thread with Nico. He sent a text eight minutes ago. 
Nico Hischier 
At the arrivals area. Can’t wait to see you ❤️
Clementine Sandoval 
just landed!!! can’t wait to squeeze you 
Immigration and customs goes quickly, even if Clementine finds herself tapping her foot in line. She can already feel the heat of the Switzerland summer air seeping into her skin and she tugs off her sweatshirt, happy that she has a t-shirt underneath. Once she grabs her luggage from the carousel, she takes a deep breath, wheeling her suitcase through to the arrivals hall. Her eyes dart around to try and spot her boyfriend. It doesn’t take long. 
The grin spreads on her face when she sees Nico. He’s wearing an olive green t-shirt that’s seen better days and dark jeans topped off with those scuffed up Nikes that he always seems to wear. 
He’s holding a bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in newspaper, the sweetest smile peeking over. Clementine feels her heart threatening to burst out of her chest. 
She almost knocks her suitcase over as she throws her arms around him. She feels him chuckle and place a kiss on the side of her head. “Hi Schätzli,” he says softly. 
“Hi,” she pulls back and kisses him. But they’re both grinning too much to kiss properly. She holds his cheeks in her hand, happy to just be around him after a month. “I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you more,” he grins. “You look so beautiful.”
Clementine snorts because her Stanford t-shirt tied with her hair tie in the front and the black leggings with her Adidas definitely scream ‘I’ve been on a transatlantic flight and I need to shower.’
“I look like I just was on a plane for 8 hours,” she says dryly. 
“Beautiful,” Nico says firmly as he takes the backpack off her shoulders and grabs her suitcase, giving her the flowers to hold. “For you”
She sniffs the flowers and smiles. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me these. They’re so pretty.”
“You’re so pretty,” he replies simply. That’s twice in 30 seconds. He turns to look at her again as they walk out to the parking lot. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 
“Thank you for driving all this way. I know it’s early and far.”
“Of course. I just want to see you.”
It doesn’t feel like it’s been a month as Nico starts the drive to Bern to his sister’s place where they’re staying for a few days. The sun’s high in the sky despite the early hour, and Clementine happily sips on the coffee and munches on the croissant Nico had graciously gotten her. They catch up on each other’s weeks like they have been over the phone when they’ve been almost 4,000 miles apart. They talk about the teenager who recognized Nico the other day when Nico and his friends were playing a game of pick-up soccer and how they all played until sundown and Clementine having to step in to assist in a higher than average number of surgeries the last month, as well as having to work the Fourth of July. She holds his hand the entire time and both of them can’t seem to stop the smile from spreading across their lips. 
She’s here. In the most beautiful country. With the most wonderful person. 
“How are you feeling?” Nico asks. “Are you really tired?”
“I’m okay.” She yawns. “Even if I am, I’m not sleeping until at least 9 tonight. I’m not wasting time here by being jetlagged and sleeping at weird times.”
Nico laughs. “Fair. But it’s okay if you’re tired for a few days. I always am.”
“No wasted time,” she says, poking his shoulder on every word. 
“If you say so,” he grins. “My mom’s making a huge breakfast for us when we get back and everyone’s excited to meet you.”
Suddenly, Clementine is nervous again. “She didn’t have to do that.”
“She wanted to,” he assures. “I haven’t brought a girl back home in…ever, really. They’re probably more excited to meet you than you are to meet them.”
“No pressure at all,” she says dryly. 
He looks over at her and squeezes her hand. “You’ll win them over in minutes.” Clementine hums before Nico continues. “If Jack could somehow have them all liking him in a day, you’re gonna be perfectly fine. You’re all the best parts of him and more anyways.” She reaches over to fix a strand of his hair and she wants to smirk at the light blush that paints his cheeks. He clears his throat, “I was thinking of taking it easy today, just walking around the town and exploring the area a bit. And then dinner at my favorite place in town?”
“Sounds perfect to me.” 
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says breathily. “I, just…I can’t believe it.”
She grins, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Well believe it, pretty boy.”
(His stomach flips at being called ‘pretty boy.’ She hasn’t said that one yet. Two months after they’ve officially started dating and he still feels like a teenage boy with the biggest crush on the prettiest girl in school)
They pull up to Nina’s place and Clementine feels like she’s in a dream. Bern is beautiful everywhere you look. It’s almost like she’s in a picture book of a fairytale. She stretches and rises on her tiptoes to kiss Nico on the cheek to thank him for grabbing her luggage. She tugs at his t-shirt and he stops to turn to her, momentarily confused. She just wrap her arms around his waist again, wanting to feel him before they’re surrounded by his family. He chuckles, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head three times. 
As they’re walking up the steps to the front door, it swings open as Katja, Nico’s mother, beams. “You guys made it! Hello!”
Clementine can’t help but smile back. “Hi,” she shifts the flowers so that she can shake Katja’s hand, but Katja doesn’t bother and just wraps her into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Hischier. Thank you so much for having me.”
“Thank you for coming all this way,” Katja’s eyes shift to Nico, who’s a few steps behind with Clementine’s luggage. “Nico tells us good things.”
She chuckles and ducks her head. “I think your son is a bit too nice to me.”
“Ignore her, Mama,” Nico says as they all walk into the house. “The only person who doesn’t know she’s the best is herself.” 
There’s footsteps coming down the stairs. Clementine’s met immediately with Nina’s smile. It’s the exact same as her mother and her brother’s and she is absolutely stunning. Luca is behind his sister as well with a matching grin. And Rino, who Clementine suddenly realizes is where Nico gets so many of his facial features from, just stands to the side with a small smile. 
“You’re here!” Nina exclaims. Nico says something quick in Swiss German which Nina rolls her eyes at before she pulls Clementine into a tight hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Clementine. We’ve heard so much.”
“Yeah,” Luca echoes. “I’ve never seen Nico so excited about someone.”
Nico groans and Clementine hugs Luca with a giggle before nudging her boyfriend. “He’s not so bad either.” She turns to shake Rino’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hischier. Thank you for having me.” Rino shakes her hand with a warm smile before Nico pinches her side and pulls her closer. 
“Okay, breakfast is almost ready!” Katja claps her hands. “Nico, why don’t you show Clementine to your room? Luca and Nina, come help me finish up. Oh! I can take those flowers from you. Did Nico get you those?”
Clementine giggles as she hands them over. “He did.”
Katja pats Nico’s cheek in such a motherly way that it makes Clementine’s heart ache in the best way. “I did raise a sweet one.”
Nico groans. “Mama.” Clementine makes eye contact with Nina and they both burst out laughing. “Come on. You can take a quick shower and then we’ll come back down.”
Clementine shoots a quick grin at Katja, Rino, Nina and Luca before following Nico upstairs. She decides to jump into the shower quickly and rinse off, partially to wake her up, mostly to wash the grime of the plane off of her. Nico’s sitting on the bed scrolling through her phone when she comes back out, hair wet and dressed in a light sweater and linen shorts. 
“The fact that there’s a window in the shower looking over the mountains is so unfair,” she says, combing her fingers through her wet hair. 
Nico chuckles. “Pretty, hey?”
“Very,” she yawns. “Come on. Don’t wanna leave your family waiting.”
Breakfast is absolutely delicious and filled with warm conversation, mainly filled with the Hischier family asking Clementine questions about herself, which she happily answers inbetween way too much bread, butter and coffee. Nico tries to intercept a few times (“This isn’t an interrogation, Luca”) but she just waves him off. It’s not like she likes talking about herself, but when being surrounded by people everyday who know the ins and outs of her career, it’s refreshing to have people take interest in what she does who don’t work in the medical field at all. 
After breakfast, Clementine and Nico venture into the town and Clementine is all smiles. The sun is out but it’s not too hot where she aches for shade like she does back in the US. She had changed into a dress after breakfast and doesn’t regret it, resisting the urge to twirl around the streets. It doesn’t hurt that Nico looks at her in a way that makes her giddy.
As they’re walking through the scenic old town, it’s obvious how relaxed Nico is. Away from New Jersey and the expectations that come with being the captain of the sole professional sports team from Garden State, Nico looks like every other guy in his mid twenties. It’s not like he isn’t happy in New Jersey, but there’s something freeing in the way he walks, his shoulders free from the weight he carries during the season. 
They walk in the sun leisurely, stop by a few shops that look interesting to Clementine and grab coffee and pastries from a cafe that Nico apparently frequents often, judging by how friendly he is with the staff. She hasn’t really gotten to hear Nico speak his native language that often so she enjoys hearing him switch so effortlessly.
“You look happy,” Nico comments as they’re taking a break and sitting on a bench to people watch. 
She tears her eyes away from an adorable family to meet Nico’s warm, brown eyes. “Do I?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I am. Are you?”
He presses a kiss to her temple and she leans her cheek against his shoulder. “Very much so.”
“Did I pass the test?” She teases. “Your family doesn't hate me?”
“Stop,” he says with a smile. “They love you. I can tell. I think my mom fell in love with you the second you talked about growing up with the boys.”
“Really?”
“She has a soft spot for sibling relationships. She always tells us how she’s glad me, Luca and Nina get along so well.”
“They’re great, by the way, your family,” she says. “Much less chaotic than mine, which is definitely a good thing. But really, really cool. I…” She trails off at the sight of a stray soccer ball. 
Nico’s eyebrows furrow before he follows her eyeline. He chuckles and gets up, holding out a hand for her. “Come on. Let’s do some passing.”
She lights up at the idea of passing around a ball with the mountains in the background on a fairly large, grassy area. The most picturesque image you could find, she thinks. She takes his hand and scurries over, getting her feet familiar with the ball as he backs away a few feet. 
They start some basic passing as they’re mindful of the fact that she’s wearing a dress. Clementine never saw soccer as more than a form of exercise in her youth, but she sometimes wishes she had time to join a rec league or something of that level in college and afterwards. The few people she keeps in touch with still in Toronto are mostly thanks to her club soccer days. 
She’s definitely rusty, but it’s good to go through the familiar motions again. She wrinkles her nose when Nico pulls off an impressive move. “This is unfair. Are you good at every sport?”
He just shrugs modestly, before passing the ball back to her. “I definitely don’t look at ease with this ball on my feet like you do. How long did you play for?”
“Like, over 10 years?” She executes some footwork and smiles in satisfaction. “Played pretty intensely all the way up until I was 18.”
“I can tell,” he smiles. “My dad would be impressed.”
She snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was never good enough to play at the collegiate level, much less professional.”
“It’s interesting that you do that.”
She stops the ball with her foot. “Do what?”
“Downplay your achievements.”
Clementine blinks a few times. “What do you mean?” But she knows exactly what he means. 
Nico lets out a light snort, “You know what I mean. You’re probably the smartest and most interesting and talented person I’ve ever met. Even when you were talking to my family about your residency, you were talking about it like it isn’t a big deal. But it is a big deal. And it’s really fucking cool. And you’re so smart and quick and…I don’t know. I wish you would show off more, even though I know that’s not your style.”
She smirks. “You want me to show off?” Without waiting for an answer, she concentrates on the ball at her feet and looks up at the goal. She dribbles the ball a few seconds before striking it in the top right corner. She huffs, satisfied that she didn’t whiff it, laughing as Nico tackles her and lifts her up in a hug. 
The next two days are spent in Bern, as Clementine fights the jetlag while her camera roll fills up. The Hischier siblings bring her around and she just soaks up the sunshine, views, and attractions. She especially loves flowing down the river on boats like the most seamless lazy river that just runs through the city, because you can’t really get that in the US. Nico continues bringing her around to his favorite hidden spots and to his favorite shops and restaurants, all with his hand in hers and the most beautiful smile on his face. 
After Clementine says goodbye to Katja and Rino, the four of them take two cars to Zurich, Luca and Nina staying with friends while her and Nico rent out their own place. They arrive at a beautiful, spacious apartment that overlooks the center of Zurich. Clementine’s birthday is tomorrow and she has no idea what the plan is because she trusted Nico when he said he would handle it, but she’s a planner, so she can’t help but bring it up as they’re relaxing before heading out for dinner.
“Nico?”
“Yeah?” He calls out from the bathroom. 
“Can you give me a hint on what we’re doing tomorrow?”
He peeks his head out of the bathroom with a smile. “I was wondering when you were gonna ask.”
She shrugs. “I trust you. But you know I’m nosy.”
Nico chuckles. “Yeah,” he comes out of the bathroom and takes his phone out of his pocket. Once unlocked, he tosses it at her. He’s lucky she has okay reflexes. 
She raises an eyebrow at him before looking at his phone. Immediately, she gasps and drops the phone as it lands on the carpet on the floor. “Nico.”
“Yeah?”
“Nico,” she repeats, breathless. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“Taylor Swift? How long have you had these? How did you even get them?”
He comes over to sit on the arm of the sofa. “Nina’s a big fan. When you said you were gonna coming here for your birthday, she mentioned that Taylor Swift was gonna be in town at the same time. I pulled a few strings.”
She picks up the phone and swipes through the tickets, shellshocked. “Seven tickets?”
“Me, you, Nina, one of her friends, Luca and two of his friends. I guess they’re all kind of my friends too. I hope that’s okay?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed worriedly. 
“Nico, shut up. I’m gonna see my favorite artist live and I wanna meet your friends. Of course it’s okay,” she tackles him onto the couch as he laughs. “I-I can’t believe…thank you. Oh my god.”
“Good birthday present?” He jokes. 
She kisses him fondly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna beat this for yours.”
“Stop,” he murmurs, deepening the kiss. “I’m supposed to ask you if you have something to wear and if not, that you and Nina can find something tonight or tomorrow morning.”
She thinks of the light pink sequin dress she had thrown into her suitcase last minute, grateful for her past self’s decision. “I think I have something, but if I see something when we’re walking around later, I’ll let you know.” She holds his face in her hands. “Thank you. Seriously. First the whole trip and then this. I’ll pay you back for the tickets as-”
“No you won’t,” he says against her lips. She pulls back and gives him an unimpressed look. “I barely paid for them. It would be unfair to ask you to. It’s your birthday. It’s my present to you.”
Let other people do things for you for once, Clem, Quinn’s voice echoes through her head. He’s said multiple iterations of it throughout the years, but this one in particular she can envision, at dinner right after the Canucks played San Jose back in her Stanford days. That was about something simpler — arguing over who was paying for dinner — but the sentiment remains the same. 
“Fine. But I’m paying for everyone’s dinner tonight.”
“Of course,” he beams. 
“I mean it,” she warns. 
“I know.”
She slaps his shoulder with a smile. “You fucker. I can’t believe you got those tickets.”
“27 is gonna be a good year, hey?”
She launches herself into his arms. 
Yeah, it is.
…..
Clementine wakes up on her birthday to Nico pressing kisses all over her face as she squeals and wiggles around. She stretches and her arm whacks him in the face, causing him to groan. She kisses him as an apology. 
“Happy birthday, honey,” he says, hovering over her with a light smile. “I can hear your bones cracking already.”
“I will push you off the bed.”
“Empty threats.”
She yawns. “How much time before everyone gets here?”
“Like, two hours? Why?”
“Perfect,” she says, pulling him closer to kiss him feverishly. He lets out a soft moan and she melts into a puddle
An hour and a half later, Clementine fiddles with the coffee maker in the kitchen as everyone starts filing in. Nina is first to bounce over and gives Clementine a big hug, wishing her a happy birthday. She meets their friends and glares at Luca as he places a large bag on the table with tissue paper peeking out of it. She doesn’t need birthday presents. But it’s sweet they thought of her anyways. 
After lunch at a nearby outdoor cafe that Clementine falls in love with, everyone heads back. The guys venture out to the balcony while she, Nina and Anika, Nina’s friend, quickly make some friendship bracelets and start getting ready. Clementine’s almost done curling Nina’s hair when Nico peeks his head in, lighting up at the open box of beads on the table. He scurries in to grab the supplies and takes them outside without a word.
Anika, who’s been doing Nina’s makeup while Clementine’s been doing her hair, grins. “You two are cute together.”
“Oh, thank you.” Clementine looks up to flash a quick smile before focusing on not burning Nina or herself. 
“I’ve known Nico since he was a baby,” Anika says. “Always the younger one, he was chasing us all the time. Wanted to do everything we were doing. But it was Nico and he was so sweet, so we never said no.”
Clementine chuckles. “Yeah, I get that feeling. Not that my brothers necessarily wanted to do everything I did, but they were never far behind me when we were young.”
“Right,” Anika dabs the liquid blush on Nina’s cheeks. “That’s how you and Nico met, right? Your brothers play with him in New Jersey?”
“Yeah.”
Clementine’s taken aback tone must show because Nina smiles at her through the mirror. “My brother has talked about you quite a bit since he’s come back.”
That makes Clementine look down a bit abashed. “I guess they aren’t technically my brothers,” she clarifies. “I just grew up with them.”
“So like me and Nina here.”
“Yeah. Exactly like that.”
“Do you play hockey?” Anika asks, stepping back as she finishes Nina’s makeup. 
Clementine snorts, spraying hairspray into Nina’s hair. “No. You do not want to see me on skates. I played soccer. Or football, I guess.”
“But you enjoy watching it?” 
The conversation momentarily pauses as Clementine is ushered into the hot seat. Nina unplugs the curler and plugs in the straightener (“I want to try something”) as Anika takes a look at Clementine’s makeup products. 
“I do,” Clementine says. “Enjoy watching hockey, I mean. I don’t know if that would be the same if I wasn’t so closely connected with the sport personally, but I do enjoy it. It’s more comforting now than anything.”
“I still remember the day Nico got drafted,” Nina says wistfully. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”
“And I remember everyone here staying up to watch it,” Anika adds. “There were people piling into the streets after in celebration.”
Clementine grins. “Yeah, I get that. I still remember Quinn, Jack and Luke’s draft days. It’s an extremely weird moment. Like, it’s wonderful of course, but also strange?”
“That makes sense,” Nina says. “It’s really cool to see how things have turned out since then, but it’s an interesting moment for sure. Especially when you remember Nico, or in your case, Quinn, Jack and Luke, as little boys just being little boys.”
“Nico’s really happy with you, I can tell,” Anika says. “And I don’t just say that to say that. His smile looks lighter. Freer.”
“I think that just might be because he’s home.”
“It’s because of you,” Nina says in a tone that leaves room for no argument. 
When she slips into her pink dress and puts the bracelets on her wrist as they’re about to head out, it hits her what’s really about to happen. She’s about to see her favorite artist. She still remembers being gifted a CD of Taylor’s debut album from her father, Teardrops On My Guitar on repeat. After the Eras Tour sold out in seconds and the resale tickets were way too high, she lost hope on ever seeing Taylor on tour, at least this go-around. 
She walks down the stairs and the first thing she sees is Nico. Dressed up in a light pink button up with khaki shorts, a backwards hat placed on his head, laughter etched in the lines on his face as he converses with his friends and siblings in his native language, she swallows. He looks up as she reaches the last step and his smile turns softer. Nina’s previous words echo her mind as she easily presses against his side. 
Clementine wrinkles her nose as she looks up at him. “You really do love your hats.”
“You don’t?”
“They’re fine. I just like your hair more.” Without argument, he takes his hat off and tosses it on a nearby couch. She gives him a look but he just kisses the top of her head. 
The closer they reach Letzigrund, a football stadium, Luca had said, she marvels at how large it is. She’s been to large concerts before, but as they park and make their way through the gates, she’s taken aback. Nico gently tugs their hands so she doesn’t get lost in the ground as they go find their seats. Turns out Nico pulling a few strings means tickets on the floor, not too close to the action where they would get pushed but at a vantage point where they’re in the center and can see everything. She turns to look at him bewildered and he just shrugs, a wry smile playing at his lips.
She pokes him. “Best birthday present ever.”
He takes a sip of his beer casually. “I’m glad. You know I prepared for this.”
“How?”
“I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift non-stop the last month.”
“I know we haven’t been dating for a long time, but all I do is play Taylor Swift.”
“True. But I didn’t realize how many songs she actually has. And you’re probably gonna know all of them.”
“Probably,” she admits. She’s definitely the biggest fan among the group right along with Anika. “But you don’t have to know all of them to have a good time.”
“I know. I heard she puts on a good show.” They watch Yannis, one of their friends, exchange bracelets with a stranger before Nico nudges her lightly. “I’m also just, I don’t know, excited because you’re excited.”
She snorts. “You’re a sap.”
What she wants to say, really, is “I love you.” But she refrains. 
Throughout the whole concert — which in itself is a highlight of her life and something she won’t ever forget — Clementine wants to tell him she loves him. When Taylor appears in her colorful, sparkly bodysuit and sings ‘Lover’ while Nico’s arms find their way around her waist as he’s standing behind her swaying them lightly, she wants to tell him. When she, Nina and Anika loop their arms around each other screaming ‘You Belong With Me’ and he simply points his phone at them with a laugh, she wants to tell him. Right before the bridge of ‘Champagne Problems,’ when he whispers a soft “wow,” eyes glued on Taylor on stage as she sings one of Clementine’s favorite songs of hers, she wants to tell him. When he quickly leaves and comes back in the middle of ‘Delicate’ with a beer for her and a water for them to share, she wants to tell him. 
When ‘Long Live’ comes on and she sees his eyes light up in recognition, before he pulls his phone out to record the end — her favorite part and the fact that he knows that is something in itself  — she wants to tell him. When he and the boys scream ‘22’ so incredibly out of tune and she can’t stop laughing, she wants to tell him. When she fully loses her voice screaming out ‘Illicit Affairs’ and he can’t hide his grimace at his eardrums bursting, she wants to tell him. As they both watch Anika practically collapse when the opening notes of ‘Style’ ring out — she had come into the concert blind to the setlist somehow — and Clementine can’t help but shake her hips while singing along, she wants to tell him. 
When he presses a kiss on her temple multiple times during the surprise songs as she is tearing up, she wants to tell him. When Taylor closes out the show with ‘Karma’ and Nico is visibly in awe of all the colors, fireworks, confetti and overall grand finale, she wants to tell him. 
She leans into his side as they walk to their cars. She loves him. They bid farewell to everyone. She loves him. When they get back to their place, they decide to rinse off the sweat and grime together and he gently rubs massages shampoo into her hair. She loves him. 
As Nico falls fast asleep next to her, arm wrapped securely around her waist, she’s about to lock her phone when she sees that she has a few text messages. They’re from Nina, who has already speedily downloaded the pictures she took on her digital camera from tonight. She thumbs through them quickly, smiling at all of them. 
She stops at one of her and Nico taken before the show in front of the stage. They’re both not looking at the camera but at each other. She’s in the middle of talking — about what, she can’t remember — as Nico is just smiling at her. 
She looks down at the sleeping man next to her. She loves him so fucking much. 
…..
(She does end up telling Nico that she loves him a few days later, as they’re weaving through a farmer’s market in Lucerne, him carrying the bags filled with fresh vegetables and other groceries that they’re using to make dinner tonight.  She thinks he doesn't hear her at first, but he tugs them towards the side and drops the bags so he can cup her face in his hands and kiss her. 
“You love me?” He murmurs. 
“Yeah,” she whispers. “I-I know it’s soon and you don’t have to say it back-”
He shakes his head with a grin, “Shut up.” He kisses her again. “I love you, Schatz.”
“Really?” She swallows. “You’re not just saying that?”
“I love you,” he repeats firmly. “I adore you, if we’re gonna be honest. You’re getting really close to be one of the best things that Jersey has brought me.”
“Well, now you’re just being stupid. How about, oh I don’t know, your entire career?”
He picks up their bags again, tossing an arm over her shoulder. “One of the best. Love you.”
She lets out a happy sigh, momentarily leaning her head on his shoulder as the sun hits their skin)
…..
The Switzerland tour is wrapped up in the best way, in Nico’s hometown of Naters, right by the mountains. Seriously, how is one country allowed to be this beautiful? She gets to hear the stories that litter these streets, the memories associated with the air interlacing with the wind, from a man who she loves and loves her. She tries not to think about how this is the last moments they’ll have until he comes back to New Jersey in September. 
The night before she takes off, they go out to dinner at a fancy enough place that Clementine’s pulling out one of her more formal dresses. The candlelight illuminates Nico reverently, his brown eyes not tearing away from her for more than 15 seconds the whole night. The attention would be overwhelming, but Clementine just lets herself sink into it. 
This feeling of being loved like this? It’s new. And she’s fully aware that it’s fragile and it could crumble any minute. But not right now. Not with Nico looking at her like she’s the only person in the room. 
When he drops her off at Zurich airport the next day, she hugs him for a full minute. She doesn’t cry, but there’s a pull at her heart that plants the silly idea of staying here forever just so that she doesn’t have to leave him. But she pulls away, kisses him one more time, runs a hand through his hair, before grabbing her things and walking through the automatic doors. 
…..
Clementine’s about to take a shower when she hears a key click into place. Seconds later, she’s sandwiched between Jack and Luke, uncontrollably laughing. She’s missed them dearly. 
Luke smacks a kiss on her cheek. Jack ruffles her hair. She scolds them about leaving their bags in the front door where anyone could trip on them. 
They’re back for another season, albeit a bit early to spend their last few summer days in the city. Nico lands tomorrow. Her Google Calendar has been synched with the Devils and Canucks game schedules.
Suddenly, the heat wave that’s hit New York / New Jersey doesn’t feel so constricting anymore.
…..
She might’ve had to bribe Ben to switch shifts with her, but there was no way she was gonna miss the home opener. Even if she’s extremely tired.
Clementine somehow makes it home before Jack and Luke are due to be at the rink earlier than normal for the carpet and other things. They’re both dressed and ready to head out. It’s a reminder that if Clementine sits on her couch for even 5 minutes, she will fall asleep. So she shouldn’t do that. 
Not even a minute after she shut the front door, there’s a knock. Jack calls out that it’s open and Nico walks in. 
If this were a few months ago, Clementine would blame just getting back from a long day of work for her eyes literally popping open. But it’s not, and she calls the man who walked through the door her boyfriend. Yet here she is, in her scrubs with her messy ponytail and smelling of hospital, just staring.
Holy. Shit. Nico looks hot. Which, like, yeah, he always does. Clementine is well aware that her boyfriend is a very attractive man. But something about the new green three piece suit that she had helped him pick out over FaceTime when he was still in Switzerland and his hair and the overall look has her literally speechless. 
Luke, like the bitch he is, takes note and just laughs. “Cat got your tongue, Clemmy?”
She finds her voice. “Fuck off.” 
Nico just smirks as he hugs Jack and Luke before walking over to give her a peck, “Hi.”
“Absolutely not,” she backs away when Nico reaches for a hug. He pouts but she shakes her head. “I just worked for 12 hours in a hospital. You do not want to hug me.” 
“Of course I want to hug you. I love you.” 
Somewhere behind them, she hears a gag. Gags, actually. She sticks out her middle finger behind her back before leaning in to give him another kiss. “I’ll hug you after the game when I’m clean.” He ignores her and just smothers her in a hug as she squeals. He presses exaggerated kisses all over her face as she tries to slither out of his hold. “Stop!” She breathes out in between laughs. “I’m literally so gross.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Can you two not?” Luke deadpans. 
The couple both roll their eyes. “This is nothing,” Clementine retorts. 
“I know, which makes it worse.”
Jack snorts as he grabs his water bottle and keys. “You two ready to go? We’re cutting it close.”
“Yeah,” Nico tosses Jack his eyes. “You guys go down first. I’ll be a second.”
Jack looks between his captain and sister with a subtle glare. “Five minutes.”
“We are older than you,” Clementine retorts. Jack rolls his eyes before exaggeratedly blowing a kiss to Clementine. She scoffs but blows him and Luke a kiss as they walk out the front door. “They’re annoying.”
Nico chuckles, before brushing a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. “How was your day?”
“Fucking brilliant,” she deadpans. “You can’t tell by my messy hair and eye bags?”
His eyebrows furrow. “If you’re too tired to come to the game, you don’t-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence. I’m not missing the home opener. Are you insane? I’ll be good after a shower and a beer or two.” She places her hands and gently straightens his jacket into place. “You look incredibly hot.”
“Yeah?”
She kisses the smirk off his face. “Oh please. Like you don’t know.”
“It’s a good ego boost hearing that from the person’s opinion I care about the most.”
She gently brushes her hand through his hair. “I’m a very lucky woman.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he presses one last kiss on her lips. “I’ll see you after?”
She tilts her head to the side and pouts a bit. “Thought I was going home with you after no matter what, Captain.”
Nico’s eyes darken the slightest bit. Bingo. “Careful, baby.”
Clementine shrugs nonchalantly. “Have fun. Maybe score a goal or two for me?”
“What do I get if I do?”
“Careful, baby,” she echoes with a smirk. “You should head out before Jack and Luke storm back in here. And you know they will.”
He groans. “You ruined the moment.”
She chuckles, gently shoving him back. “Good luck. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
…..
It’s not like anything is wrong, perse. 
Clementine doesn’t often get into her overthinking moods. Frankly, she doesn’t have time for it. Since she was 18, it was study hard, let herself be dragged out once in awhile by her friends away from the books, listen to her own gut when it told her she actually needed a break, feel herself falling more in love with medicine and patients and caring for them, rinse and repeat. She’s 27 now, and the contours of that thinking have adjusted to whatever moment she’s in, but her core is still the same. 
But when she finds herself in these overthinking moods, it consumes her. Her mom once told her it causes her to think irrationally, and Clementine had snapped back, even though deep down, she knew it was true. 
These overthinking moods could be about anything, and have been about anything. From grades, to the overwhelming ache of missing her father, to questioning if the path she’s worked so hard for is worth it, to questioning if going to California for eight years and away from everyone was the best choice or just the convenient excuse she could use when in reality, she was running from her problems. From watching Quinn, Jack and Luke from right next to them but also from so, so far away, to making sure her mother still enjoys and loves life even though it’s been almost ten years since she lost her partner, to her own self worth and if she’s as good of a person that everyone always tells her she is and how that can be true if sometimes she feels like she’s grasping at straws. 
The point is, Clementine knows herself well enough to know when one of these moods is coming. 
It hits her full force on her commute the way to the hospital, because of course it does. Last night had been really fun with the season home opener. She sat with all the significant others for the first time and the vibe was high. When Nico had scored, the girls had all cheered and pointed to her as she finished off a beer. Some of the fans had given her high fives and maybe had caught on, she thinks, especially because she was wearing a 13 jersey and Nico had pointed in her direction after he scored. But Devils fans are also just really nice, so it also could’ve been nothing. 
She already had a lot of the other women’s phone numbers from last year’s Friendsgiving, but she was officially added into the group chat because she’s not just Jack and Luke’s pseudo-sister who lives with them anymore. She’s also the captain’s girlfriend. 
Something about that has her mind racing this morning as she watches the streets of New York City at 7:29 a.m. outside the bus window. Now she’s thinking about whether she should be doing more because of that title. In the grand scheme of things, her and Nico haven’t been dating for that long. Realistically, she knows no one is expecting her to do anything more. She venmoed Nicole immediately yesterday when she had casually mentioned the money pool all the significant others have for various things like events, gifts and other things. But should Clementine be the one spearheading that because her boyfriend’s the captain? She just got here. She has no fucking idea.
She always thought being surrounded by hockey her whole life would help her in most of these situations. Not this one. 
When the time comes — if the time comes and her and Nico even last as long as she wants to — and off-season comes back around, is he gonna expect her to spend it in Switzerland with him? Obviously, that didn’t happen this summer because they had literally just started dating, but what about the future? She wouldn’t ever ask him to move his training closer to her, but how would off-seasons work in different countries when the regular season is already crazy enough?  She knows All-Star breaks and off-season vacations are a thing, but with her inflexible work schedule, how is all that going to work? Will he be upset that she probably won’t be able to join him? What if, somehow, Nico is traded to another team? Clementine’s home for the next four years is going to be New Jersey / New York. And then, vice versa, what happens if her future leads her to yet another part of the country?
Yeah, she’s majorly overthinking now. 
Usually, she would talk to someone about it, but in a rare instance, her mind comes up blank. Her mom and Ellen would just tell her to slow down and that she’s being silly. Emilia and her other friends at the hospital would listen, but wouldn't really get it. The other significant others are nice, but she doesn’t feel particularly close enough with any of them yet to voice her intrusive thoughts. No way is she talking to Quinn, Jack or Luke about this. 
That would leave Nico. But there’s something about that that feels off too. 
She’s also been told multiple times that she can’t keep things to herself. And she really does think she’s gotten better at it throughout the years. But old habits die hard. So she also does something she’s really good at. Putting it all away the second she walks into the hospital 
The next time she thinks about it is during a quick break she has inbetween patients, when she checks her phone and sees the notifications from the significant other group chat. Nothing important as she thumbs through quickly, but it still leaves her with a weird feeling in her stomach. 
And again, she wills those thoughts to go away as she steps back out into the hallway. 
The next few days, Clementine doesn’t see Nico much. She’s at the hospital and he’s busy with the new season starting and getting back into the swing of things, making sure his team is doing well on and off the ice and making sure new guys are acclimating. It’s nothing out of the ordinary — it’s not like she’s seeing Jack and Luke that much either while living with them. But she also knows deep down that it’s more than that. 
A week and a half after the season opener, Nico texts her to see if she wants to come over to his after her shift and they can make dinner together. Despite whatever weird things she’s thinking, she says yes. It hits her like a brick that they haven’t seen each other since Nico kissed her goodnight after the season opener.
She can tell something is on his mind immediately, or maybe that he knows something is on her mind, but they both don’t mention it the whole night. Instead, they loosely follow a steak dinner recipe Nico found online and keep the topics light. 
But she can’t help but feel like something is off the whole night. Clementine knows she should ask him. Talk to him about it. 
She doesn’t. 
Her stomach remains in weird knots for the next few days when she lets herself think even for a second about her boyfriend, who’s supposed to be the person she can talk to these things about, right? Clementine’s a bit out of practice — it’s been over three years since she’s had anything sembling a relationship — but goddamn, she doesn’t think this is normal. 
But she doesn’t want to burden Nico. He’s already overwhelmed enough with everything on his plate. She can see the wheels constantly turning in his mind. She doesn’t want to add onto that. 
So, Clementine avoids. 
…..
More patients. More long hours. The Devils first road trip. She should’ve known the people she lives with would pick up on something sooner than later.
“Are you and Schao fighting?”
Clementine has no idea where that nickname came from and has never asked. Hockey players are weird creatures, the nicknames they give their teammates included. 
She keeps her head down, putting the chicken pot pies in the oven. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I asked if he wanted to come by for dinner and he made some shitty excuse about calling his family or something.”
“Calling family is not a shitty excuse,” Clementine says automatically. Her back is towards them, but she knows Luke always beelines directly towards the bathroom to rinse off right after practice. So Jack’s the one who’s dropping their bags loudly on the floor. “Bags against the wall, Jacky.”
He grumbles and Clementine smirks to herself in satisfaction as she hears Jack move the bags. “So? Trouble in paradise?”
“None of your business.”
“Dude.”
“I mean it. None of your business.”
She doesn’t exactly snap — somehow, Quinn, Jack and Luke have never annoyed her enough to make her want to — but it’s something close to it. Silence, and then she hears Jack rounding the kitchen island. He tugs at her arm. “Do I need to beat him up? I know he’s my captain or whatever, but I will.”
“Absolutely not.” She finally makes eye contact with him and is taken aback at how serious Jack looks. “I’m not fucking with your team chemistry.”
“Who cares about team chemistry?” Jack asks, watching as she stirs the glazed carrots. “You’re my sister. So I’ll ask again. Do I need to whoop his ass?”
She sighs, leaning her hip against the counter. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shrugs. “There’s nothing much to it. Just a bump in the road, I guess.”
“About?” Jack presses lightly. 
Clementine bites her lip. One part of her is telling her that she shouldn’t talk to Jack — or Luke — about her relationship troubles simply due to the fact that Nico’s their captain and friend and teammate and rock and all of that. But the other part of her does want to finally talk to someone. “I think we’re trying to figure out how to be together with both our busy schedules and it’s…tougher than we anticipated.”
Jack hums, “I see.”
Despite herself, Clementine snorts. “I’m not getting relationship advice from my younger brother. I’m not stooping that low.”
“Lame,” Jack shoots back. “Your loss. I think I could give you some decent Nico advice. I’ve known him much longer than you have, you know.”
He does have a point. She watches him blow a piece of hair out of his face in thought. Then, Luke walks in with his damp hair. 
“What are you guys talking about?” Luke asks. 
“Nothing.”
“Nico.” She glares at Jack, who just shrugs with a smirk. 
Luke sits down across from her. “Oh wonderful. We’re talking about how miserable he’s been lately?”
Clementine busies herself by pouring him out a glass of water. “Nico’s been miserable?”
“Uh, yeah.” Luke says in a know-it-all voice that has her wanting to smack him on the head. “Besides, like, maybe a few smiles on the ice after a good play or game or whatever, he’s just had those sad eyes.”
Ah, yes. Those sad eyes. Clementine’s acquainted herself with those, even last season when they weren’t together. They come out after every loss. They’ve never come because of her. 
She shrugs, trying to be casual about it. She can feel Jack’s eyes narrowing and knows that his brain is moving. People don’t give Jack enough credit for how perceptive he can be. He tugs at her sleeve again, and Clementine sighs, lowering the flame so she can give him his full attention. 
“Do I need to talk to him?” Jack asks softly. “I don’t like seeing either of you sad.”
“Wait, hold on,” Luke interrupts. “You can’t talk to him if you don’t know what’s going on, Jacky.”
“No one is talking to anyone,” she says. “We just haven’t been able to see each other much lately. Or don’t want to. I don’t know.” 
“Clee.” Jack says flatly. 
She finally cracks, swallowing. “Obviously, I know what a season looks like. I mean, fuck, I lived with you two last year and I literally grew up with hockey all around me. I know it’s busy and I know he’s even busier because he’s captain or whatever. But shit, sometimes it feels like…I don’t know.”
“It feels like what?” Jack presses. 
She puts her head in her hands for a few moments before looking back up, squeezing her eyes together to keep the frustrated tears at bay. “Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t even want to be around me. Like we’re strangers or just friends or whatever”
“What?” Luke deadpans. “Clemmy, that’s…what?”
Jack throws his brother a dirty look. “Let her finish.”
“And it’s on me too,” she continues as if they hadn’t interrupted. “Like, yeah, he’s busy, but so am I. And I’ve been taking extra shifts and staying at the hospital to study longer because things are getting harder but, I don’t know. I guess now that we’re actually in the season it’s a whole other thing. I know I’m being unreasonable. Maybe I’m just not cut out for a relationship or whatever.”
She knows the last sentence is an intrusive thought. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have some semblance of meaning.
“That’s stupid,” Jack says. Clementine looks up from the table to look at him sadly. He has a look of fire in his eyes. “The last part, I mean. Not cut out for a relationship? What does that even mean?”
“If that’s not it, what is?” She huffs out. “I just feel like, I’m losing him? Assuming that I had him in the first place, I guess.”
“Clementine,” Luke starts. He never calls her by her government name. “What are you talking about? That boy is head over heels for you. You’ve had him since the moment you two met, I’m pretty sure.”
“Have you guys talked about this?” Jack asks. “Like, actually sat down and talked about how you’re feeling and why you’re upset.”
“How can we talk when I don’t even know why I’m upset?”
“It doesn't need to be, like, extremely coherent. Even if it doesn’t come out pretty or whatever, at least he’d know and stop making assumptions. And as someone who knows Nico, he’s definitely doing that, but probably not talking to you about it because he thinks he’ll just burden you with it.”
Clementine groans. “That’s the crux of it, I think. We’re not talking about the things that matter. We should be able to do that. Because I also think I’m burdening him with my unnecessary problems.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Luke starts. “Cap’s miserable and you’re miserable because you’re not…talking to each other?”
“Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a dumbass.” She picks at her nails. “It’s also more than that. A lot of factors involved.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Jack promises. 
Clementine glares at him. “No. Stay out of it, Jacky. You too, Luke. I’m not putting you guys in the middle of our shit when you have to play with him.”
“I’m not gonna say anything bad,” Jack says. “You said that you feel like he doesn’t wanna talk to you, right? Which I know is a load of bullshit. He, again, probably just thinks he’s bothering you with his shit because that’s how Nico operates. He’s a great captain and will listen to anyone else’s problems, but thinks that no one wants to hear his, which, like you said, is stupid, especially when it comes down to you two. I’ll talk to him, Clee. Give him a little push. And then you two need to talk.”
She turns towards Luke — since when does she trust Luke enough to determine a good idea from a bad one? — who shrugs. “It wouldn’t hurt,” Luke says. “Jack has a way of getting through to Nico like no one else can.”
“Yeah, but that’s on ice stuff. This is off-ice stuff. And something that doesn't involve you guys.”
Jack lets out a little noise at that. “Hate to say it, but the second you guys started dating, we were already involved.”
She sighs. Because he’s right. Again. “I love him,” she says. 
“I know. And he loves you too. No one’s doubting that,” Jack says. The oven beeps and before she can move, Luke rushes to gather the pies. “I won’t overstep, I promise.” 
They let the topic go for the rest of dinner. 
…..
Clementine doesn’t even get the chance to fully swing open the door the next afternoon before Nico’s pulling her into a tight hug. She freezes for a few seconds before melting into his embrace, rubbing her thumbs against the back of his neck as he rests his head on her shoulder. He mumbles something and she asks him to repeat it. 
He straightens up, hands still wrapped around her and clears his throat. “I always want to be around you.”
She blinks, before sighing in realization. “Whatever Jack said, it’s-”
“It’s not about what he said,” Nico says, closing the door behind him. “Not entirely. He just…lit a fire up my ass a bit.”
“A bit too bluntly and with so little tact that would seem rude if it wasn’t coming from Jack?”
Nico snickers. “Yeah.” He calms down and looks at her seriously. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she responds automatically.
“No, I mean,” he pauses and swallows. Clementine knows his wheels are turning. Even after being in North America for almost a decade, sometimes his English fails him and it takes a few moments for him to formulate what he wants to say. “I love you. I always want to be around you. I want to hear about your days at the hospital and I want to kiss you after every win and to hug you after every loss. But most importantly, I want to hear about your thoughts and feelings about everything, and that includes us. I’m sorry that you haven’t felt comfortable to do that lately.”
Her heart lurches and she places her hands on his cheeks. She can’t take the sad, watery eyes. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s on me too.”
He vehemently shakes his head, his hands reaching to wrap around her wrists. “No, it’s not. I-I’m the one with- you’ve given me so much control, with the season and everything, when you’re just as busy. Probably even busier than me. Shit, you’re literally a doctor. That’s nothing compared to what I do.” 
“Nico-“ 
“I know I need to work on communicating and letting people in. It’s been an issue my whole life. Just ask Nina. I, you know, the team is wonderful and supportive, but I still feel the need to not let them know too much about my struggles, you know? Because I’m supposed to be the leader. But you’re not part of the team. Not in that way. You’re my girlfriend. My best friend. And I need to work on talking things through with you instead of my instinct of shutting down or dealing with it myself.” 
Clementine blinks, taking it in. She’s always known Nico to be self aware, but this is a whole new level. 
He kisses her gently, before pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I’ll be better. That’s a promise. You can come to me with anything, even if you don’t think it’ll be something I want to hear. You can trust me. Rely on me. I’ll prove it to you everyday.”
“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” she says, rubbing his cheekbones with her thumbs. “Just…please talk to me? And I also need to work on doing that with you. I know we’re both busy and have our own separate lives-”
“You are a part of my life,” Nico assures. “A huge part. Like yeah, it’s separate with the fact that you have the hospital and your people there and I have hockey and the people there, but not really. We’re a team, right?”
She smiles at him repeating her words back to her face. She had said that once in their phone calls over the summer where she started rambling about how she’s always seen romantic relationships as more than just sweeping each other off their feet. ‘If the two people aren’t on the same team, then what’s the point? Then it’s just two people with a whole lot of feelings who never truly see each other eye to eye’ she had said. 
“Yeah. We’re a team. Since we’re a team, can I propose something?”
“Anything,” Nico rushes out. And it’s so nice to know for sure that he means it. 
“Can we try to do one night a week? Just for us? Unless you’re on a road trip or I have a weird shift schedule for some reason. Obviously, more would be great, but one at the bare minimum?”
Nico hums. “One guaranteed date night with you every week? I think I can manage.”
“You think?” she pokes his side. 
“It’s perfect,” he says with pure sincerity. “You’re perfect.”
She rolls her eyes. “Far from it.”
“False,” he beams, sneaking another kiss. Clementine’s heart feels the lightest it’s felt in weeks. “I can’t believe Jack was right.”
She snorts. “About? Jack’s never right.”
“I know,” he rolls his eyes, before looking at her in a way that makes butterflies flutter in her stomach. “But he was right this time.”
Oh. They’re not talking about the fight anymore. 
…..
(Clementine finally tells Nico everything that day about the overthinking — the tendencies and the topics she was overthinking about this time. He’s rubbing her knee as she talks about how she feels like she has to be setting an example or something because she’s dating him. She knows he wants to interrupt and assure her. She appreciates that he waits until she finishes. 
He reassures her, which is nice, but he realizes that that’s not necessarily what she needs. Clementine just needs someone to listen. And Nico thinks everything she says is always worth listening to. 
But Clementine also likes to be proactive and have tangible next steps, something she and him have in common. So they both come up with the first step: Clementine sends a text to Kristen Haula, who has a lot of experience of just … being the significant other to a professional athlete. Kristen responds quickly and kindly, asking when Clementine has a day off from work where she can come over and they can chat. 
It’s always a breath of relief knowing people want to help with problems that she thinks are stupid. Because they’re usually not stupid. Nico’s there to assure her of that. 
She goes to sleep that night with a smile.)
…..
That conversation is just the start. Because you can say all you want in a relationship, say you need to improve things, but until things are actually done, it doesn’t mean squat. 
She can tell there’s something on Nico’s mind, even in the short phone call as he’s heading to the rink before a game and she’s heading home from the hospital. Clementine asks multiple times if he’s sure he’s okay and he tells her he’s fine, so she lets it go, wishing him good luck and assuring him she’ll be watching. 
The Devils lose 5-1 to Vegas, and it’s so tough to watch that she almost wants to turn it off before it ends, especially after the camera pans to Nico’s face and Jack breaking his stick on the boards in frustration after the final buzzer sounds. A four game losing streak. 
After giving Jack and Luke extra long hugs, Luke burying his face into her shoulder and Jack clutching her t-shirt, she calls Nico as she’s climbing into bed.
“Hey baby.”
“Hi.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too much, okay? Are you back at your place?”
“Yeah. What are you doing awake?”
She swallows at his blunt tone. “I wanted to catch you afterwards.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Get some sleep.”
“Oh. Okay. Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”
A rustle on his end. “I’m sure.”
“Want me to come by tomorrow morning? I don’t have to head in until the afternoon.”
Silence. “Yeah?” The raspy voice he’s gotten from yelling during the game momentarily makes her smile because she’s always found it so attractive. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“Okay,” she thinks his voice softens. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
“Great. Goodnight, then. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams. I love you.”
“Goodnight, Schätzli. I love you.”
The next morning, she punches in Nico’s code and walks in to him pouring out a cup of coffee for her. He’s dressed in his typical day off attire: a random t-shirt that she thinks looks unfairly good on him, gray sweatpants and his hair is all messed up. She paddles over to the kitchen.
From behind, she wraps her arms around his waist. “Hi baby.”
“Hey,” he turns in her arms to peck her lips. “You eat yet?” He asks. 
“Mmhmm.”
He hums, following her to the couch and sinking down right next to her. He tucks himself into the blanket with an involuntary hum, burying himself into the pillow, dragging her down so that she’s laying on his chest. She breathes in his scent and automatically smiles. She feels him physically relax. 
“How’s the hospital been?”
Clementine shrugs. “The usual.”
“Tell me more.”
She blinks. Oh, she realizes. And she then talks about random details of her week that don’t actually matter but she’s figured out that sometimes he just likes to listen to her voice. Whether to ground himself, get himself out of his own head or both. He hums in all the right places to show he’s listening, but she also doesn’t really need him to listen about the workplace drama of people having a theory that two of her coworkers are hooking up. 
There’s a lull in the conversation as she listens to his heartbeat. She thinks he might have fallen asleep. She doesn’t dare move to check.
“Eight.”
So he’s not asleep. She taps her fingers on his chest. “Hm?”r
“This is my eighth season in the league. Eighth in Jersey. And I have nothing to show for it.” She swallows. She debates sitting up so she can see him, but she stays still. He sighs. “I feel like we’re just never going to have a good start to the season, and it’s just like this every year and I’m not doing anything right. I can’t shoot. I can’t score. I can’t lead this team.” 
“Nico-“ 
“At this point, if we’re not the team that’s gonna get Jersey to the cup, then who is? It’s always been about potential and things falling into place and sometimes I feel like all of it has and then we end up falling short anyways.” He starts breathing faster and Clementine sits up, holding his hands. She can see the storm in his eyes. “Fuck, I’m the captain. Part of my job is to make sure this doesn’t happen and that when we gain momentum, that we don’t lose it. But it feels like we can’t even gain that momentum so we’re stuck in whatever the hell we’re stuck in. It’s starting to remind me of my first few seasons here, which really fucking sucks and just shouldn’t be where we’re at. Are the pieces ever going to come together like everyone has been saying it will?”
(In the back of her mind, Clementine’s stomach drops because Nico rarely swears, and he just dropped two f bombs in the last 15 seconds)
She squeezes his hands. “Nico. Please listen to me when I say this. It is not all on you. Captain or not, no one is expecting you to carry all of that on your shoulders.” He opens his mouth to counter but she’s quicker. “Nope. I don’t want to hear it. If I’ve learned anything from growing up with three hockey-playing brothers, is that hockey is a team sport. You win together. You lose together. Everything you go through? You go through together.”
“But I feel like I’m not doing anything right.”
“If any single one of your teammates heard you right now, I know they’d smack you in the face.” Clementine says bluntly. “Even before we were dating, from day one of training camp in Jack’s rookie year, when you didn’t even have the C yet, he was already raving to me about how good of a role model you were. You didn’t just get that C just because, Nico. You were and are the best option. I fully believe it. Your teammates respect you so much, baby. I see it with my own eyes every game. And they love and respect you enough to know that this is not all on you. You lead your team so beautifully. It is your team. And fuck the media and what they’re saying. Half of them can’t even hold a stick in their hand or skate. Literally who cares what they think? The outside noise is all bullshit anyways.” She rubs his cheekbones with her thumbs. “I know my words can’t fix the slump you guys are in. But I refuse to let you believe that any of this is entirely your fault. It is anything but. I refuse you to let you believe you’re anything but a good leader. You are the best leader. But you need to put less pressure on yourself over things that are out of your control.”
She lets her words wash over him, as he nods. One of her favorite things about him is that he’s always so expressive, especially in the domestic environment of his apartment under the maroon blanket she knitted him for Christmas. Here he is, not under any arena lights, just in his home away from home, trying to find some grounding. She places a kiss on his forehead and he practically falls into her touch.
“Everything about you always helps,” Nico whispers. “Thank you.”
“No need,” she smiles as his cheek rests on her stomach, arms wrapped around her waist in a tight embrace. “It’s okay to be frustrated and upset, honey. I get it. But you’re gonna drive yourself insane if you keep holding all this weight on your shoulders. Share it with others. Share it with your teammates. Share it with me. It’s what we’re here for.” Nico mutters something in German and she snorts. “English, please.”
“I don’t want to share it with you if it means I’m gonna explode and scare you. That’s the last thing I want to do.”
Clementine blinks, digesting that statement. She picks her words carefully. “It’s more than okay to show emotions. Any psychologist would tell you it’s healthy to do so. The fact that you’re afraid at the idea of scaring me is probably a good indicator that you won’t. And please. Give me some credit. I don’t get scared easily.” She leans down to press a kiss in his hair. “I mean it. Share the burdens, baby. We all want to help.” 
He hums and she lets him play with her fingers before she has to go to work. 
…..
There were cons to not living near the boys for eight years — missing big moments and not having their presence around all the time being the two biggest ones. 
But there were pros too. Such as, not being a part of moments that she would rather be anywhere else for. She doesn’t know who gave the three boys the sex talk (it probably was Quinn, but who gave it to him?) and she knows that if she had been in Toronto or Michigan during that time, she would’ve begrudgingly done it and hated every second. 
If she thinks about it too much, it’s kinda incredible how she hasn’t encountered this particular situation yet. 
This particular situation being this: Clementine’s just come back from an overnight shift she got let off early from, exhausted to her bones but not exhausted enough to be immobile. On the drive back from the station, she was debating whether to stop by her favorite deli or make her own brunch. She ultimately decided that there are too many things in the fridge to justify her going to the deli. Maybe next week. 
So now here she is, preparing her feta egg bake thing that she saw on TikTok, a mix of vegetables drizzled in olive oil and various herbs sitting on the counter on another tray, ready to go into the oven. She hears the front door open and glaces at the clock on the microwave. Morning skate must’ve been earlier than normal today. 
“Hello?” Luke’s voice calls out. 
“In the kitchen!”
She hears two pairs of footsteps come closer, assuming that Jack is with him. Though if she had stopped to think about it, she would’ve automatically thought it was weird that he didn’t call out a greeting either. She turns around, half smile planted on her face. The half smile doesn’t exactly drop at the sight of the unknown blonde girl next to him. Just turns more confused. Before Clementine can say anything, Luke speaks up. 
“Hey. I didn’t think you’d be home until later.”
“They let me out early,” she searches her mind quickly, trying to see how to ask who the fuck is in their kitchen without sounding like a bitch. 
Luckily, Luke does it for her. He clears his throat. “Uh, Clemmy, this is Ava. Ava, Clemmy. Or, Clementine, I guess.”
Clementine decides to put him out of his misery a bit. She hopes her smile is friendly enough. “Nice to meet you, Ava.”
“Same here. Are you Jack’s girlfriend?”
Before she can stop herself, she snickers. “He fucking wishes.”
“That’s Amelie,” Luke corrects. “Clemmy’s dating Nico, my captain.”
Ava’s eyes widen. “Oh. I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Clementine waves away her apology easily. “A lot of names. A lot of characters. Speaking of, where is Jack?”
“Dropped him off at Amelie’s after practice, actually. She’s totally gonna kill me though. I think she has to head to Philly later.”
“She’s definitely gonna kill you. Have you two eaten yet?” She asks politely. 
Ava nods. “We did. Thank you so much though.”
“Anytime.” Luke makes a move to lead Ava to his room and Clementine immediately gets the hint. “If you change your mind, our fridge is open to all. I live here, which means there should be something edible.”
“Hey!” Luke protests. The two girls laugh. “Thanks though. Are you heading to Cap’s?”
Clementine shrugs. “I was going to eat, nap and maybe head over later, but I also didn’t know your morning skate was earlier than normal. Maybe I’ll go over to his and use him as my pillow.”
“Don’t drive if you’re too tired,” Luke warns, sounding entirely too much like Jack. “Hisch can wait if needed.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves her spatula at them. “Alright. I’m off an overnight shift, so you know what that means.”
Luke rolls his eyes as Ava looks between them curiously. “Your social battery is at its lowest and you’ll start snapping soon.” Ava looks amused and Clementine grins. “C’mon, Ava. Let’s go to my room.”
“It was nice to meet you,” Ava says. 
“Likewise,” Clementine responds. The second Luke’s door shuts, she puts the feta egg bake and the vegetables in the oven and immediately grabs her phone, thumbing over to her text chain with Nico. 
Clementine Sandoval 
lol just had a major big sister moment 
She gets a reply in seconds. 
Nico Hischier 
???
A moment you haven’t already experienced?
Clementine Sandoval 
luke just came home with a girl I’ve never met before 
Nico Hischier 
In the day time? Lol
Does Jack know about this? 
Clementine Sandoval 
lol i’m assuming not
i def would’ve heard about it by now 
luke’s not that stupid if he wanted to keep it quiet (which it seems like he does) jack would be the last person he’d tell 
Nico Hischier 
You do realize I’m their captain, right? 
I could very well be with Jack right now. He could be looking over my shoulder
Clementine Sandoval 
please i’m not an amateur 
luke already told me he dumped jack at amelie’s 
what are you doing the rest of the day?
Nico Hischier 
Sitting on my coach and staring at the wall waiting for my beautiful girlfriend to come by after she takes her nap  
Clementine Sandoval 
whipped 
any chance i can come by earlier and nap at yours? didn’t know you guys had an earlier skate 
Nico Hischier 
Door will be unlocked ❤️
Clementine Sandoval
???? your door has a code 
but thanks 🩵🩵 i’ll come by after i eat
After her food is cooked thoroughly, she eats quickly, flicking through emails on her laptop. She can hear a movie playing through Luke’s laptop in his room and murmured voices through the door. As she’s cleaning up and getting ready to head out, she debates on whether she should tell Luke or not. She probably should, because then he’ll start worrying, which is something that she’s noticed all the brothers have done more as they’ve gotten older. 
“Luke!” She calls, “I’m heading out.”
“Okay,” she hears his voice through his door. “Are you coming back for dinner?”
“Not sure yet. I’ll text you.”
“Okay!”
Clementine chuckles before grabbing her stuff and closing the front door behind herself. 
Nico snorts as she’s retelling what happened, sipping on a cup of coffee. Clementine’s rambling to the max, sitting up on his kitchen counter and swinging her legs, not stopping even as Nico slips himself inbetween them and plants his hands on her thighs. 
Suddenly, she trails off with a yawn. He chuckles softly before engulfing her in a hug, kissing her neck softly. “Couch or bed?” 
“You don’t like just lounging on your bed.”
“But it’s your nap time and you like my bed.”
She plays with his hair, placing her cup of coffee down carefully. “Couch.”
“Okay,” he hums, helping her off the counter. “Is there anything I need to wake you up for later?”
“I made some sort of promise a few days ago that I’d cook Jack and Luke dinner, and I feel bad that I haven’t done it yet.”
“They can come over here and we can both cook them something.”
“You have groceries in your fridge?”
He gives her a look as she giggles. He tosses a blanket over her. “Sleep before you start getting sassier on me.”
Clementine hums, eyes already drooping. She tugs at his shirt as he’s about to leave. “Stay.”
“Baby-”
“Just until I fall asleep,” she grins as he climbs in, immediately burying her head into his chest as his arm wraps around her. She hums, eyes already shut. “I love you,” she murmurs against the cotton of his shirt.
She feels the gentlest kiss on her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
…..
Clementine loves being able to switch her brain during a live hockey game. Unless she gets a call from anyone at the hospital — which hasn’t happened yet — any good hockey game can turn her often overtired and overstimulated brain off. 
So when Sarah, one of the staffers she frequently runs into at Devils games, comes up to her row, Clementine’s immediately standing up. “Sarah? What are you doing up here?”
“Can you come with me for a second?” At Clementine’s concerned stare, Sarah continues quickly. “Nothing bad! Just want your help on something medical related.” 
“Medical related?” Clementine stands up and starts following Sarah. 
“One of the kids in the Islanders box hurt herself and I’m pretty sure it’s just a sprained ankle, but you work with kids so I figured you could give another opinion and calm her down, maybe? If you don’t mind, of course.”
Clementine breathes out a sigh of relief. This she can handle. “I don’t mind at all. Jesus, Sarah. I thought it was something more serious.”
Sarah grimaces. “Sorry. Again, I just want a second opinion. I’m sorry to interrupt you watching the-”
“I get it. And hey, I’ve watched dozens of games by now.” They arrive at the visitor’s suite and somehow, Clementine feels immediately at home even though there’s an adorable blonde girl crying on the floor with her mother kneeling down next to her. 
Clementine bends down and sits on the back of her heels. “Hi cutie. My name is Clementine. I’m here to help you, okay?” The mom, who is drop dead gorgeous, mutters some encouraging words to her daughter. “Can you tell me what happened, sweetie?”
Inbetween hiccups, the young girl explains that she was running around because her dad had just scored a goal but had run into a chair and had fallen backwards and now her ankle really hurts and if it’s broken she won’t get to play with her friends at recess. Clementine softly shushes her and calms her down before asking if she can take a look. The young girl nods and Clementine gingerly takes her ankle, rolling up her jeans. She speaks to the girl softly (who Clementine learns is named Winnie), asking about who she’s here to see and the game and anything else to keep her distracted while she does her routine checks. 
Clementine taps her ankle. “Well, good news, Winnie. It’s only swollen, which won’t require going to the hospital. I’m just gonna wrap it up for you and get you some ice to keep on it, okay? And lots of rest, which means no running around for a bit.” She nods thankfully at Sarah, who runs to grab some bandages and an ice pack. 
“Does that mean I get to watch Disney all day tomorrow?” Winnie asks. 
Clementine laughs. “That’s gonna be a decision your mama has to make.” She turns to the gorgeous blonde again with a smile. “Everything’s all fine. Just lots of rest and ice and she’ll be good in no time. You can give her children’s motrin if she complains that it hurts too much, but it shouldn’t if she isn’t moving it around.”
“Thank you so much,” she says gratefully, putting her hand out. “I’m Sydney. It’s nice to meet you. I’m really sorry for interrupting your game.”
Clementine waves her away. “It’s no problem at all. I’ve seen a bunch of these, so I’m not too pressed.”
“Are you a doctor?”
“Not yet technically. I’m in my second year of residency with pediatrics and ER. But I promise I know what I’m doing.”
“Oh, no! I trust you, don’t worry. You have a very calming presence.”
“Well, your daughter is super sweet. So I’m sure you have a lot to do with that.”
Sydney beams. “You’re so sweet! Thank you.” 
“Who are you here for?”
“Number 17. Matt Martin. He’s my husband. How about you?”
Clementine chuckles, as Sarah comes back with the supplies and Clementine wraps the bandage around Winnie’s ankle. “Depends who you ask.”
“Oh?”
“Well, I grew up with Luke and Jack. 43 and 86. But I’m dating Nico. Number 13.”
“That’s the captain, right?”
“It is.” 
Clementine’s surprise must show through her voice because Sydney laughs. “Honestly, I don’t know why I know that. I blame my past journalist self who picks up on details quickly. Or the Devils and Islanders being in the same division.”
“That’s completely fair. I feel like I know too much about hockey for someone who never played.”
“It’s an added layer when we choose who we surround ourselves with, right?” Sydney says and Clementine nods with a smile. “Where are you doing your residency?”
“I’m mainly at NYC Health and Hospitals / Bellevue. First and 28th.”
“Do you live in the city?”
“Oh, no. Though that’s probably smarter, right?” They both laugh. “No, I live with Jack and Luke in Hoboken. They kinda begged, and it saves me money, and I don’t mind the commute.”
Sydney looks around for Winnie, who’s hanging out with one of the other Isles wives and is occupied. “Am I keeping you from someone? Thank you again for all your help.”
“No, not at all! Decided to come out solo tonight.”
Sydney then nods to two empty seats against the glass. “Come sit with me?”
Clementine just smiles and follows her to the seat as Winnie runs at her legs. The two women laugh as Clementine picks her up and sits her on her hip. 
She leaves that night with a new number in her phone. Jack whines about her “befriending the enemy” as Luke cackles. Nico just grins, because he knows what it’s like to be captivated by her energy instantly. 
*****
Clementine’s reading on Nico’s couch when she hears him groan loudly from the kitchen. When she doesn’t hear an explanation, she finishes the sentence and looks up. 
“Everything okay?” 
“No,” he grumbles, walking back in and typing something rapidly on his phone. “The rookies and the young guys went out and got way too drunk and called me by accident. I literally couldn’t understand more than two words of what Shea was saying.” 
“How are they getting home?” 
Nico sighs and picks up his keys. “I’m getting them. I don’t trust them to not puke all over an Uber right now.” 
“But you trust them to not puke in your car?”
“I’ll tell them to aim out the window.” 
Clementine snorts, standing up. “You drank earlier. I’ll drive.” 
Nico blinks. “I didn’t drink that much.” 
“Don’t care. I’m driving. How many of them are there?” 
Nico looks at his phone, presumably his texts, to confirm. “Five. But apparently Luke called Jack so he’s coming too.” Nico laughs, reading another text. “And Amelie. Must be a similar vibe at the Hughes apartment tonight.” 
“It was. Amelie told me they were having a chill date night too.” She quickly goes to Nico’s room to toss on one of his Devils sweatshirts. She comes back out and sticks her hand out as Nico slips on his shoes. “Keys. And grab a few trash bags, please.”  
Nico obeys before they’re both out the door, his hand naturally brushing against her back as they wait for the elevator. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“All of this.”
She snorts as the elevators doors shut. “Don’t need to apologize for your teammates acting their age.”
“Yeah, but it’s not your responsibility to deal with that.”
“It’s yours though.”
He furrows his eyebrows. “I’m not following.”
She rises on her tiptoes to kiss him, to which he responds with enthusiasm despite his confusion. “Your boys, my boys, no?” She murmurs against his lips, letting him steal two more kisses. “I’m dating you. You’re the captain of an NHL team. You look out for the guys. Therefore, so do I.”
Nico shakes his head with a fond smile as the elevator doors open and he shuffles them both to the garage, his hands steadily on her hips. “You’re the best, you know that?”
“Been told that once or twice in my life,” she dodges his pokes as they walk to the car. 
It only takes them 15 minutes before they’re in front of a bar. Nico pulls in right next to Jack’s car and Clementine laughs as all four of them get out of their cars at the same time. One look at Amelie tells her that she probably was dragged out of bed to come here.
She nods at the younger girl as they trail behind their boyfriends walking into the bar. “Chauffeur?” 
Amelie smiles wryly, handing her a few bottles of water for whoever is coming in Nico’s car. “No. I’m the one who actually opened the wine tonight. But I don’t trust Jack to wrangle these guys by himself. Also, he promised he’d get me lunch from my favorite place tomorrow before I have to drive to Long Island.”
Clementine whistles. “Good girlfriend you are.”
Amelie tosses an arm around Clementine’s shoulders, which makes the latter grin. Amelie had been a bit shyer when they met at the start of the season, but she likes to think she’s cracked the photographer’s exterior a bit. They walk into the bar and just follow the guys, who quickly find their teammates. Clementine only raises an eyebrow as Seamus stumbles to give Nico a hug, almost taking out Simon in the process, who looks like he’s about to either fall asleep or throw up any minute. Jack is subtly steering glasses of alcohol away from Alex as he’s chatting away to Luke. Clementine’s half convinced he’s speaking Swedish and Luke’s too drunk to realize. She scans the bar to find the last straggler and chuckles when she sees Nico (little Nico, she affectionately calls him) come out of the bathroom. He brightens up when he sees the older girl and Clementine laughs loudly as he almost falls into her arms. 
She, Nico, Jack and Amelie corral everyone into the two cars — Luke, Alex and Nico riding with Jack and Amelie and Seamus and Simon with Clementine and Nico, all purely based on proximity. Clementine gives both Amelie and Jack hugs before climbing into the drivers seat. She gives Seamus and Simon each bottles of water as she starts the engine. 
“Drink. The whole thing. Both of you.” She commands. She peeks through the rearview mirror to make sure they do. 
“I’m waiting for the lecture, Mrs. Cap.” Seamus groans out.
Clementine snorts. “No lecture from me. But you guys do remember that you have a team meeting tomorrow, do you?”
“How do you know that?” 
Nico snorts as an answer as Clementine rolls her eyes. “How much did you guys have?”
“I stopped counting after the third round of shots,” Seamus says. Simon might have fallen asleep for all she knows.  
“And who bought that round?” Nico asks. 
“Luke,” Seamus and Clementine say simultaneously. She hears Simon groan, so he’s not asleep. Nico just chuckles. 
It only takes 30 minutes to get them both safely home and to get back to Nico’s apartment. It’s almost 2 a.m. by the time they get back. Clementine gets comfortable fast, with Nico’s body pressed up against hers. The last conscious thought she has before drifting off to sleep is that she wants to do this with him for the rest of her life. 
The first thing she hears when she wakes up is a bunch of male voices. She squints at her phone. 10:27 a.m. Team meeting started at 10. She yawns and rolls out of bed, washing her face and brushing her teeth before deciding to go fix up a quick breakfast for herself before locking herself in Nico’s room so the team can do whatever they do during team meetings. 
The voices all halt as she nears the living room. Any other situation she would be a bit embarrassed perhaps, but frankly, they all know and should’ve expected this. And they’re in her apartment. Or Nico’s. But it also might as well be ours. 
She offers a lazy salute. “Morning boys.” A chorus of greetings echoes and Clementine chuckles. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be out of your hair in a second.”
“You can stay,” Nico says softly with a smile from where he’s standing behind the couch. She just waves him off, pours out a cup of coffee, quickly fixes herself some hummus toast with feta on top and slips back into his room. 
She sets her food down carefully on the bedside table and eats while scrolling through her email and social media. She even puts her headphones in so she’s not tempted to listen to the guys through the wall.
It’s about a half an hour later when she hears a faint knock on the door. She calls out a “come in” and takes out her Airpods with a smile when Nico peeks his head in.
“Hi Schatz.”
“Hey. What’s up?”
“The boys wanna say hi,” she opens her mouth to protest but he beats to her to it. “We’re pretty much done. Pizza’s coming any minute so we’re just chilling out now.”
Clementine grabs her empty plate and mug, rising up to her toes to press a kiss on his cheek. “Breaking the diet?”
“We just won a tough back to back. We deserve it.”
“Sure you do,” she chuckles as he playfully swats her butt. They walk back out into the living room together and she rolls her eyes as everyone cheers. Nico heads back to the living room as she heads into the kitchen to start another pot of coffee, politely nudging Dawson and Dougie out of her way. 
Nico’s apartment is spacious, but twenty plus hockey players all crowding around make it feel much smaller than normal. Clementine decides to swing herself on top of the counter to chat with Luke and John, mostly content with listening to them talk.
When she hears a chorus of laughter, she turns to the living room to see what’s going on to already see quite a few of the guys looking at her. She raises an eyebrow at Nico, who she swears has a slight blush painting his cheeks. But he doesn’t shy away and beams at her instead. With some boldness, she bounces over to him, squeezing in beside him on the couch. He leans into her touch automatically. She wonders if this is a side of their captain his team hasn’t seen much before. 
That last thought has her hesitant for a second, but as if Nico can sense it, he takes her hand off his shoulder and kisses the back of it before going back to a previous conversation with Jesper. Her hand remains in his. She catches Timo’s close-lipped smile and Nate’s visible delight. Clementine just sends them a wink before leaning into Nico’s side. 
Without missing a beat in laughing at something Jesper says, Nico places a kiss in her hair. 
(Later, as the team is starting to filter out of Nico’s apartment, Jonas pulls him aside. Nico is immediately on high alert when Jonas decidedly switches to their native language. They don’t do that often during the season.
“She’s great. Clementine,” Jonas starts.
Nico’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Yeah? You think so?”
“Yeah,” they both look over to the other side of the living room, where she’s in the midst of a playful debate about something with Jack and Jesper. Though from the way she punches Jack in the arm, maybe it’s not so playful. “I know we met at the end of last season, but I wanted to give it some time. She’s weirdly perfect for you.”
“Spit it out, Jonas,” Nico stares at him. 
Jonas just stares back for a bit before letting out a small chuckle. “I’m really happy for you, truly. You deserve someone like her.”
“Like her?”
“Yeah. Someone smart, beautiful and who will be just as all in as you are.” 
Nico looks down at his feet, heat rising up his neck all of a sudden. “She’s the best, really. Kinda keeps me sane without even trying.”
“That’s all you can ask for from a partner,” Jonas pats his shoulder once before calling out a goodbye to everyone. 
Clementine rushes over to give Jonas a quick goodbye hug. Nico feels himself falling and not wanting anyone to catch him.)
…..
The universe is on their side for the 10 year anniversary of Miguel’s death, with the Canucks scheduled to play in town the day after. Ellen, Jim, Quinn, Jack, Amelie, Luke, Maeve, Clementine and Nico all go out to brunch on New Year’s Day, before heading to the cemetery. 
They’re all bundled up as they lay out a few blankets, lay down their flowers and some of Miguel’s favorite food and snacks. The cemetery is quiet, but it’s quickly filled with everyone’s laughter as they share their favorite memories and reminisce. Quite a few tears are shed and the tissue box is passed around often. 
When they’re about to leave, everyone gets their individual moments by his tombstone to pay their last respects. Clementine and Maeve let the Hughes’s go first, hands intertwined with each other. Then, Clementine and Maeve step up and the young woman swallows, her mom’s head falling on her shoulder. With one last squeeze, Maeve steps back and gently ushers Nico to stand next to his girlfriend despite his gentle protests. 
The second she feels Nico’s arm draping across her back, Clementine lets out a sob as she buries part of her face into his jacket. It’s not a sad sob, but it’s not a happy one. She’s happy he’s here with her. She wishes her dad could meet him and love him as much as she knows he would. 
Once they reach the bottom of the hill, Quinn reaches out to squeeze her hand. She keeps her right hand in his as Nico’s pressed against her left side. She stares ahead at her mother pressed between Ellen and Jim with Jack, Amelie and Luke right behind them in a similar embrace.
The birds are chirping. The sound of the wind is made even more noticeable as it whistles through the leaves. The sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky.
Clementine feels peace settle into her heart.
232 notes · View notes
kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months
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Would you consider young Konig to be an incel like guy or just an awkward young man whose social anxiety makes it difficult for him to talk to women?
It’s awful but young recruit almost went down the full incel pipeline yes :/ He had high hopes of finally finding a girlfriend once he hit the army because soldiers get a lot of women, right? He’s not bad looking, he makes money, he’s ripped as fuck, no one bullies him now. He should either have a lovely cute girl by his side or a flock of ladies wanting to sleep with him by now!
Turns out they all look at him weird or turn their noses up at him once he starts to speak. He can’t even find a one night stand because he’s a bit too eager. Blows up most of his chances for a date because he says something filthy far too soon on those stupid dating apps he hates because they’re clearly rigged for women.
It fuels his grief even more: and like with most people, unprocessed grief turns into rage. Only, König already has loads of that... At some point he doesn’t even know if he wants a girlfriend anymore: he just wants someone to fuck (and hold close for a while before they leave him). He doesn’t believe in his chances which makes him an even lousier bf candidate, which makes women shun him even more, which makes him despise women in general even more.
That's until he meets you.
This time, the game’s changed. It’s a woman who approaches him: a woman who's adorable, sweet, and eager. You turn out to be married, yes, but König won’t say no to his first chance of getting some pussy. He likes it that you know what you want – he doesn’t have to think about whether you’re going to stand him up on a date or if some "Please go to therapy" text means you're trying to flirt with him.
You’re clearly infatuated, just like he is. You look at him with sparkling eyes when he fucks you, you make him a nice meal when he comes home (he calls your house home now, the place where he actually lives is just a flat, storage for him and his stuff), you pet his head after he’s eaten you out. You let him chase you around the house and rip your underwear to pieces, you let him bite you and carry you to bed and send you dick pics, just like a girlfriend would do! You’re only pleased when he sends you naughty texts and pics of his dick, he can tell. He can give you all the things Colonel can not (or will not): all in all, this setting works perfectly fine for him. If only he didn’t get so obsessed…
Because suddenly, you’re not just pussy to him. Suddenly, you’re not just the first girl he got to fuck. As much as he hates the Colonel, young König would swallow sharp shrapnels to get to be with you. He tells everyone at the base that he now has a girlfriend: he even shows them your picture (taken without your consent: you’re giggling and trying to cover yourself with his shirt after another rowdy session). He’s not sure if the uneasy smiles he gets are pity or jealousy (because of course everyone can see his gf is the cutest woman on Earth and also hot as hell).
He wants to call you all the time, hear your soft, shy laugh when he tells you he’s going to bully you when he gets back. Stomach full of those famous butterflies and cock twitching in his camos, he could listen to your laugh forever. If only it wasn’t for that stupid ring on your finger, König would take you to Austria to meet his mother.
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f1byjessie · 2 months
Text
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.
sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.
( lando norris x photographer!reader )
━━ part eight.
The thing is, you pride yourself on being stubborn.
Your parents hated it━ loathed that you wouldn’t give in when they demanded you find some other career path, something stable like finance or business. They hated that you moved out instead of submitting to their whims, and you imagine they hated even more that you declined every call and never answered any of the messages they sent for months afterwards until they gave up.
You’ll be the first to admit that it’s not a particularly marketable trait, nor is it very favorable in the eyes of others. It pisses people off more than anything, especially when they badger and push and prod and all you do is stand your ground. An old boss early into your career once nearly burst a blood vessel when you resolutely refused to take pictures at a private event━ threw a fit when you stuck by your morals to uphold the privacy of the athletes involved. But it’s a feature of who you are and it’s managed to save your ass more times than you can count.
Nonetheless, you also know that there’s a time when you have to swallow your pride and give in. Garrett and his threats to your career had been one of those times. A teacher in primary school and an argument about an uncompleted assignment had been another.
The situation with Lando, however, is not.
And just because Oscar is weirdly perceptive and creepily wise for his young age doesn’t mean you’re about to change things.
Why should you be the one to talk to Lando? Why should you reach out first to clear up the misunderstanding? He’s the one who misunderstood in the first place, and he’s the one that blew up without ever even thinking to give you a chance to explain what was actually happening.
If Lando wants you to talk to him again, then he’ll have to suck it up and apologize to you first. It’s the least he could do after implying the whole world thinks you’re a slut. It’s his fault you two aren’t talking in the first place, and the fact that he has the audacity to think you’ll just lay down and take it? That you’ll hear everything he had to say and just be fine with it?
Just thinking about it has you gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles the entire ride back to your flat.
This isn’t the first time the two of you have fought. It’s not even the first time Lando has been the one in the wrong. Beyond the disagreements the initial tension had caused in 2019, your worst spat was in 2021, following his crash at Spa during the qualifications for the Belgian Grand Prix.
The crash itself wasn’t the problem. You’d never get upset at someone for something out of their control, and Lando had hydroplaned because of track conditions and nothing else. But he’d been so nonchalant about it all, brushing off the medical staff with an “I’m fine,” and a “nothing’s wrong.” That, in and of itself, is not uncommon among Formule One drivers or even athletes in general. A lot of them disregard their own bodily limits and the damage they take if it means getting to do what they love, and Lando isn’t any different.
He’d had bruises all along his chest from his seatbelt and had needed to get a precautionary X-ray taken, but there hadn’t really been anything wrong. Even still, you’d fluttered about asking if he was okay, asking if medical had anything to say, asking if he thought he’d be well enough to race on Sunday. You’d understood that he’d probably been asked those same questions a few dozen times already in that hour alone, but he’d scoffed at your worry and told you to leave him alone.
So you did, after scoffing right back at him and snapping that you were just concerned and he didn’t need to be a bellend about it.
You’d ignored him for the rest of the weekend and stuck close to Daniel. Lando had had to corner you on the plane to finally apologize, and you’d jumped right back into the swing of things afterwards, laughing and joking around like none of it had ever happened.
That short fight seems like a cake walk in comparison to what’s happening now.
Deep down, there’s a desperate need for it all to go back to how it was before the winter off-season━ back when you and Lando would get drunk in each other’s hotel rooms on cheap wine while watching shitty reality TV, when you and Lando would make up stupid games in the airport waiting for your flights, when you and Lando would gossip like a couple of school girls about all the messy drama on the grid and around the factory.
But without Oscar’s infuriatingly mature outlook on everything, and his stupidly healthy way of perceiving relationships and the people involved in them, that same desperate need to have Lando in your life is buried down beneath your rekindled anger and a very justified pettiness.
Your flat is cold, dark, and empty when you push the door open. The sound of your keys clattering against the counter when you toss them echoes, as does the thud of your bag as you let it fall to the floor by your shoes.
You need to eat, shower, and sleep━ preferably in that order━ but when you open the fridge you divert your path from the tupperware of leftovers and reach for the pack of beers you never got around to finishing awhile ago.
Lando brought it around and you’ve never been much of a beer drinker, but he’d insisted you try it, so you had. The bitterness had clung to the inside of your mouth and you only made it halfway through your first bottle before handing it off for him to finish it for you. The rest of the pack had been allocated to your fridge for when he came over next, but that had never happened.
The fact that it’s beer is annoying enough, and the fact that it’s Lando’s beer pisses you off even more, but this is one of those moments where you have to push your stubbornness aside because you don’t have anything else and all you really want to do is get drunk and watch sad movies on your couch to forget about how upsetting your own life is at present.
You can’t cry over Lando if you’re already too busy crying over a fictional character.
It’s not particularly healthy, and you can imagine Oscar with his creepy omnipotence giving you a look for it, but you don’t really have the energy within you to bring yourself to care and Oscar isn’t actually there to judge you for it anyway.
The first half of February carries on similarly. You don’t get drunk every night, but you don’t talk to Lando either and Oscar’s heaving sighs and blatant exasperation whenever he third-wheels the frigidity between you and his teammate is explanation enough to what his opinion is on your choices.
But you’re standing firm.
It doesn’t matter that your phone sits heavy in the pocket of your trousers, searing into you like a hot coal with the knowledge of how easy it would be to just make a few swipes, press a few buttons, and end this whole thing━ to give in first.
The reality is that Lando did something shitty and you aren’t going to give him the impression that he has the ability to do similar shitty things in the future and get away with them.
So you cling to your hurt and your stubbornness, and you use every mildly annoying and slightly frustrating thing to keep the flame fueled within you.
Garrett helps, too.
You’re in Woking now, which is just over three and a half hours away from Manchester. Between the distance, your new schedule packed full with preparations for testing in Bahrain and the start of the season, and Garrett’s busier schedule with the resumption of the Champions League, neither of you have been able to find the time to be able to meet up for another staged date.
And it’s making Garrett fidgety. He wants results and he wants them now. Footballers always seem to have an inability to be patient, probably comes with the fact that they’re always on the move in one way or another, and this━ his reputation━ is no exception.
He sent you a bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day, which you posted on your story with a sickening amount of heart emojis, and you’d both made disgustingly sappy Instagram posts about the day and how hard it was to be apart for the sake of maintaining the illusion of being smitten with one another in your fledgling romance.
Since then, he’s been hounding you about when you’re free and reminding you rather unkindly about just what he’ll do if you even think about using your schedule to get out of the agreement the two of you have.
He doesn’t seem to understand that you’re contractually obligated to travel the country for the next ten months, and even if you wanted to spend time with him and pretend to be his perfect little girlfriend, you can’t.
It makes your mood even worse, and when you accidentally snap at a poor intern who’s only crime was asking you the same question twice, you decide you have to do something.
“Y/N!” Jack’s voice crackles over the phone, and the way he says your name alone━ the excitement and seemingly genuine joy laced in his accent━ makes you smile. “I thought you’d forgotten about me already.”
Much like Garrett, it’s been hard to stay in touch with Jack as well. Not as hard, because at least you like Jack and it makes it that much more motivating to put in the effort to reach out even when you’re exhausted from a day’s work and faced with hundreds of images you still need to sort through and edit, but still hard.
You message occasionally about the big things. He knows you leave for Bahrain in a few days to begin set up for pre-season testing, and you know that he got “White Girl Wasted” in Copenhagen after the team’s win. He also knows, from the few times you’ve called him tipsy and crying, anything and everything about the fiasco with Lando and just how deep it goes.
“As if I could possibly forget you, what with your amazing DJ skills,” you tease back, a bit self-consious of how your voice carries in the otherwise silent bathroom.
Jack laughs, deep and hearty. “Right. I’m a proper expert now, the lessons are paying off.”
“So what I’m hearing is now I’ll have to book you in advance to make sure you can play at my birthday party?” You dig the toe of your shoe against the tiled floor.
He hums, pretending to think on it. You can almost imagine how his face looks, eyebrows scrunched up and lips pursed to stop himself from smiling, like he’s having some intensely philosophical internal debate with himself. “You know,” he says after a moment of contemplation, “as a VIP customer, I think I can squeeze you in.” You can hear the grin in his voice. “But really, me and the lads all miss having you ‘round. I imagine a lot of them don’t like coming in anymore when they ain’t got a pretty face to look forward to.”
“Grealo, you flatterer,” you laugh. “I thought we agreed it was your job now to be the pretty face? You’ve got the cheekbones for it. And the hair.”
He heaves a dramatic sigh. “The lads just don’t appreciate me like you do.”
“Figures,” you murmur in mock commiseration.
Jack chuckles again and then clears his throat. “But real talk, though. What’s going on?”
You gnaw on your lip, worrying it between your teeth for a few seconds of baited silence before it’s your turn to heave a very real and very stress-induced sigh. “I don’t know,” you start, “I’m just stressed outta my mind and I can’t really talk about it with the people here, which makes it worse. I snapped at an intern and then lied to her about why I was stressed which made me feel doubly as bad.”
“Not fun,” Jack replies.
“Not fun at all.”
“What’s got you so stressed?”
“Everything,” you groan. “Garrett won’t leave me alone about trying to schedule another outting, but I can’t just leave and spend the day in Manchester with him on a whim. The factory is really hectic with everyone getting ready to go, and I’m included in that. But he seems to think I’m doing it on purpose, just to spite him, and if I wasn’t genuinely swamped with work then maybe but that’s not the case this time and he just won’t listen.”
You run your hand down your face, pinching at the bridge of your nose to try and alleviate the ache behind your eyes.
“He’s threatening me again, and I’m trying to explain to him what’s going on, but he’s a prick as you know so of course he isn’t listening. And on top of that,” you squeeze your eyes shut, “Lando’s still ignoring me. And because Lando won’t talk to me, Oscar thinks I should talk to him, except I still don’t think it’s too much to ask for a simple apology.”
Jack hums. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, sounds like.”
“Yeah,” you grumble. “Tell me about it.”
“I think, that you shouldn’t have to talk with Lando until he apologizes. Outside of work, at least,” he starts. “What he did, what he said, hurt you a lot and you’re entitled to that hurt. And if this Oscar guy keeps pushing you to talk when you obviously aren’t ready and don’t want to, then he doesn’t sound as wise as you said he was.”
You make a noise. “No, he’s like freakishly wise, Jack. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing by sticking to this. I’m like, if he, of all people, is telling me I should talk with Lando, then maybe I should. Except I’m not. Because I’m pissed off.”
“And you’re entitled to being pissed off,” he says.
“It’s just messy,” you whine. “And I hate messy when it’s my life and not pretty people on TV or random logistical folks from the offices that I don’t know the names of because they never actually go to races.”
Jack hums again, “I feel you there. You just gotta take it one at a time, yeah? One foot in front of the other, and all that.”
“You got that from Rudolph,” you snort.
“Yeah,” he laughs, “and he’s a reindeer with a glowing nose and that’s pretty fucking cool so sue me if I pick the lad as one of my inspirations.”
You really do miss Jack. If Oscar plays the role of your little brother, then Jack takes the spot of the older one. His laughter is warm and friendly, familiar in the way that feels like coming home after a long day of work. From the day you walked in and found him waiting for you in your office, he’s always looked out for you.
Back at Etihad Campus, whenever the guys were telling stories, he’d always be sure to elaborate and explain who everyone and what everything is so you could feel included in it all. He was the first to take the plunge and invite you out the group dinners and hangouts, including you with the boys even when he didn’t really need to. You were a temporary addition to their team, and not even all that important, but he’d taken you under his wing and seemingly made it his mission to make you feel wanted.
He always just seems to know what to do.
“What do I do, Jack?”
“Well,” he drawls out, “with Garrett, I think you just gotta lay it out for him. Show him a screenshot of your crazy full calendar if you have to. He’ll listen eventually, you just gotta smack it into him sometimes. As for Lando…”
Jack sighs, “I think you’ve got two options here. You either keep waiting it out and hope he realizes how much of a total fucking muppet he’s being and apologizes, or you take the first step and start the convo.”
“What happened to making him jealous using Garrett?”
He makes a noise. “I don’t think you ever really wanted to make him jealous.”
“You’re right,” you mumble. You pull at a loose thread on your shirt. “Is it stupid that I think I’m still in love with him even after all this?”
“No,” Jack says. “I think if you weren’t still in love with him then you probably weren’t in love to begin with. It makes us do crazy things, things that hurt us sometimes.”
You both fall into silence.
“I wish I could go back in time and never even answer Garrett’s call,” you huff, hoping it hides how your voice cracks with emotion.
“I know you’ve already said it’d be too risky, but if you wanted to break things off with him, me and some of the other lads are all still willing to stand up for you if he tries to start any rumors,” Jack answers.
You shake your head, not caring that he can’t even see it. “It’s been too long now. If he comes out with some misconduct rumor he could just as easily make something up about the times me and him spent alone on our dates. Not to mention, with the way my comments and inbox was flooded with death threats just because I started dating him, I don’t want to imagine how bad it’d be if he purposefully weaponized his fans against me.”
You take a deep breath, “Even if my career somehow managed to survive, I don’t think I would.”
━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja @wcnorris @a-disturbing-self-reflection (CLOSED).
━━ a/n: i have not gotten around to editing this, so i do sincerely apologize if there are any mistakes. it's nearly 5AM and i pulled a crazy amount of consecutive all-nighters while keeping up with the pre-season testing, so my brain isn't functioning as well as it probably should be, and that's also why it took me a little longer than normal to get this out. i'm running on four hours of sleep from last night and my hopes and dreams! so, alas, if there are any grammatical errors, that's why. anyways, i hope you enjoy! i'm very excited to begin working on the next part~
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Thinking about Angel Dust Age Regression headcanons so I’m gonna spew them all on this post. To those who like or want them: Enjoy!
Angel often sucks his second right thumb when he doesn’t have a pacifier so that he can easily hide it by moving his gloved hands.
Fat Nuggets can tell when Angel needs a break and will often nudge objects he associates with Angel’s regressions toward him, like a baby blanket or stuffed animal. Even a pacifier if it’s within reach.
In an older headspace Angel tends to be a brat, but anywhere under the age of three and he becomes sweeter and more sensitive.
Angel’s attachment to his pacifiers runs deep and traces back to his human life both when he was a baby and when he had issues with addiction. He gets very upset when they are taken away.
Interests (across various ages) include: tea parties, stuffed animals, coloring, building with blocks, watching kid’s shows, his pacifier, blanket, rattle, and (of course) playing with and cuddling Fat Nuggets.
Angel Dust trusts Alastor the most as a caregiver because he knows Alastor is Asexual and he doesn’t have to worry about being touched in ways that aren’t platonic which was the most important thing to him. Charlie’s enthusiasm often overwhelms him when he’s littler, and Husk and Vaggie aren’t exactly the warmest people. Niffty often plays with him well, but is often too focused on keeping things clean to do play with him, and Sir Pentious had to spend a lot of time explaining things to the Egg Boiz though he is nice but awkward with Angel himself. Alastor’s better emotional control and smile combined with knowing he isn’t interested in any sort of sexual relationship helps Angel regulate himself better. Alastor’s disdain for technology also helps Angel feel safer knowing that he’ll never have to worry about being watched by The Vees.
Because of this, Angel often refers to Alastor as “Papa” when he’s little and “Pops” when he’s older while calling everyone else by either their name or a variation on it. To name a few: Husk becomes “Husky”, Sir Pentious becomes “PenPen”, Vaggie drops the V in her name, and Fat Nuggets is lovingly dubbed “Nuggies”.
Triggers in headspace include the use of the word “Daddy”, cameras, unexpectedly being touched, and the sight or smell of cigarette smoke.
Angel has a difficult relationship with touch in his headspace. From ages 0-3 he is very affectionate and loves being held or cuddled as long as it remains platonic. Anywhere above age 4, and touch is something that he has to initiate or else it is unwelcome. Alastor and Husk are the only exceptions to this rule. Alastor for the role he has in his life, and Husk because he knows Husk hates having his boundaries pushed and would never do the same to him.
Alastor has given Angel a few special gifts that he cherishes both in and out of his headspace and would be distraught to lose. The first being a pink baby blanket that he gave him upon accepting his headspace and his own caregiving role. The second is a wooden music box that plays a tinkling rendition of a lullaby that he plays to go to sleep every night. The third is an old fashioned camera that Alastor uses to take pictures of special moments in his life or what they do together, all of which go into a scrapbook that he keeps in his room that he looks at whenever he’s having a hard time or feels nostalgic.
Angel isn’t a particularly picky eater but will not eat longer foods like celery, carrots, zucchini, asparagus, or eggplant unless they’re sliced or cut up.
Angel will wear and use diapers from 0-3 in headspace due to a mix of necessity and getting so involved in whatever he’s doing that he often forgets to ask to be taken to the bathroom. However, Alastor is the only one allowed to change him.
The only person Angel has told about his regressions outside of the hotel is Cherri Bomb (“RiRi”), who will often sneak him candy or ice cream when no one is around.
Apart from the TV, Alastor maintains a strict no screens policy when Angel regresses, leading the pair of them to spend most of their time together reading stories together. Angel’s taste in books skews toward fairy tales, and Alastor frequently reads him Grimm fairytales while Niffty often tends to listen in.
After Angel initially regresses, he is very prone to tears soon afterword, and processes any pent up emotions that way. The residents of the hotel are used to this and often keep a tissue (or handkerchief) handy to give him if he needs it, while someone else alerts Alastor if he isn’t there already.
Angel suffers from intense anxiety around strangers in his headspace and (particularly in a baby or toddler headspace) experiences separation anxiety from Alastor.
Temper tantrums happen more frequently in his older headspaces, but when they do occur in his younger ones they are far more intense and difficult to soothe.
Angel skews toward using bottles in his headspace as opposed to sippy cups or regular cups because he finds being fed by someone else to be both an expression of love by them and a moment of intimacy for himself that doesn’t have any sexual connotation.
Alastor tends to limit his use of his powers around Angel per his request (as he wants the experience to feel more realistic). However, there are two things Alastor uses his power for to enhance the experience. The first is conjuring Angel a nursery that he can make disappear in the blink of an eye. The second is to enhance his own strength to be able to pick Angel up or carry him in a way that everyone else cannot.
Niffty and Charlie are his favorite playmates, and Cherri Bomb is usually his favorite babysitter.
If it seems as though Angel is spiraling in his addictions, Alastor will sometimes purposefully help him regress in order to keep him clean. It has proven a helpful tactic in keeping him sober.
Angel will not sleep without his pacifier, baby blanket, Fat Nuggets, and his music box.
Alastor can change the music of the music box at will and will sometimes sing him to sleep without his radio filter.
Angel specifically picked innocuous pieces of clothing for his wardrobe that, when put together, look childish. 
Nicknames given to Angel include: “Sunshine” (Vaggie (often used sarcastically)), “Dusty” (Charlie, Niffty), “Kid” (Husk, Vaggie), “Hatchling” (Sir Pentious), “Sonny Boy”, “My Dear Boy”, “sweetheart”, and “"mon petit chou" (Alastor, translates to "my little cabbage").
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yourmanz-sodapop · 4 months
Text
BTS reaction to being jealous/insecure of your ex
Jin:
Him and your ex meeting was a complete accident.
You never wanted them to meet, your ex was something.
When they met you were dining in a nice restaurant to celebrate their latest mv.
Your ex just suddenly popped up out of nowhere grabbing your shoulder in the process.
This didn’t go unnoticed by Jin.
Your ex just suddenly got to talking with Jin. He brought up a tattoo you had that Jin loved. It was a small tattoo behind your ear. Three stars, your ex mentioned how he was the one to convince you to get it.
“Oh, did you?” was Jin’s response.
This could not have gotten any worse.
You were so very wrong.
Then  your ex suddenly brought up your engagement, to him of course, not Jin. Something Jin didn’t even know about. All he knew was that your ex had cheated on you with your cousin and lied about it.
The entire ordeal was uncomfortable, and he didn’t remove his hand from your shoulder.
When it was obvious he wasn’t going to leave, Jin stood up and grabbed your hand, quickly heading to the front to pay.
Your ex followed, it seemed he had taken quite a liking to bothering Jin. He even followed you both to your car.
“You know I never stopped loving y/n.”
“If that’s so true you wouldn’t have cheated in the first place, but I have to thank you because I am never letting him go. Have a good night. ” Jin said with the fakest smile you’ve ever seen on his face..
Jin wasn’t by any means a mean person but there were lines that no one should cross and your ex crossed them. 
Yoongi:
Yoongi knew that your ex and you didn’t break up on bad terms. Rather unfortunate terms. 
You were only starting to build your business, he wanted a lot of time and you just couldn’t give that to him.
His family were still friends with your family so when he learned that he would be at your sister's wedding as well, he lost a bit of excitement.
He knew you still talked, not often but he knew every once in a while you would talk on the phone.
In all honesty he was dreading the next day. Where he would have to not only meet your family for the first time, your whole family, but also worry about your ex just coming and snatching you up.
He was scared, he had to admit he had Jimin stalk your ex on instagram a bit, he still had pictures of you from your time in university, when you guys were dating.
There was one particular one that bothered Yoongi.
It was a picture of you sleeping, it was obvious to Yoongi that you both just got done doing the deed.
It’s one of those things you really only know about your partner if you've been dating them for a while. Just little details that you notice over time.
To the world it might just look like you're sleeping, but Yoongi knows you. You NEVER sleep on your stomach. You think it’s the most uncomfortable position.
The only times you sleep on your stomach are when you're too tired to move.
And no he’s not overreacting. 
He of course didn’t bring it up, he knew you would get a kick out of it and tease him over being jealous.
But logically he knows he has nothing to worry about, what happened between you and your ex, was a long time ago. you’ve moved on even if he hasn’t.
Hoseok:
Hoseok was such a happy person. So he tried his best to be happy when you ran into your ex at the park. In the hidden area he was sure no one knew about.
The same park coincidentally that was his favorite, and that you both went to all the time.
Was he being paranoid? Probably but he had every right to.
We’re talking about the man who was your first. Not your first boyfriend or kiss but your first first. 
As in your first time, he ‘turned’ you into a man, or whatever it is that people say about first times. Or did that only apply to hetero relationships? He doesn’t care
It didn’t help that once your ex saw you, he wouldn’t stop hugging you.
Or that he started to yap about the old times when you were still together.
Like ok he didn’t need to know that one time you ate a worm because of a dare.
Or that your love language was gift giving.
First of all, it wasn’t, if he knew you as well as he claimed to, he would know that you love physical touch.
Most of your days off are spent lying around, Your head on his chest whilst he plays with your hair. Your light snoring making him smile.
Just being there and hugging him was enough for you.
It was one of his favorite things.
He knows that there have been plenty of firsts for you both as well.
It was safe to say he wasn’t exactly the fondest of your ex. He was a little jealous and insecure.
But it’s ok because when you got home you made sure to get rid of any and all insecurities he may have had.
Namjoon:
Despises your ex, No questions asked. 
Your ex was an absolute piece of trash.
Namjoon knew your family had money, and so did your ex.
But you were so ‘in love’ with your ex that you never noticed his love for your money.
You were the kindest person Namjoon ever met
Like even Namjoon lost his patience every once in a while for whatever reason
But you, God, you really never got angry, you never attracted problems or drama and stayed away from it
You were a big influence on your younger siblings, you always told them to not be pushovers but also to never start problems or fights
Namjoon was just so in love with you, you were kind, outgoing, talkative, but you also liked reading and painting, and you took workshop in your junior years which means you were very handy at a lot of things.
Like how can a person be all that
And then there was your ex, who used you, abused you and cheated on you multiple times
I mean how badly ‘in love’ do you have to be to let someone give you a scar and still take them back (don’t answer that)
But eventually after the 15th time you caught him cheating you just moved on
Yea Namjoon was in on ALL the tea.
Thankfully you met Namjoon not long after, but now here you were in a museum in Italy, and just his luck, your ex just happened to work there.
“Y/n?” that pesky voice, Namjoon immediately intertwined his fingers with yours and leaned against you
“Oh my God, Y/n, I haven’t seen you in years.”
Yeah, he was totally going to make a scene if he got too close.
Namjoon deliberately pulled you away from him, enough for him to know you were avoiding him, making sure your ex watched as he kissed you. 
Jimin:
Jimin loathed your ex. 
Why did he have to be so damn bubbly, and more importantly why did he have to make it so hard to dislike him.
He was just all smiles and laughter like Hobi. 
Which marks the question, why the hell did you break up with him?
You mentioned once that it was because you lost feelings for him, but you guys were high school and college sweethearts.
All and I do mean all of your friends and family had mentioned how they were so sure you would marry him. 
It kind of irritated him… no, it for sure irritated him.
He told you that he was uncomfortable that you all slept under the same roof during reunions. (Your family’s loaded.)
You had told him that just because his family and friends thought those things a few years back doesn’t mean it was going to come true, nor did it mean your feelings for him would magically reappear.
He wanted to get along with him, he really did.
But it was just so hard for him when he knew that this man had you the same way he has you.
That he’s seen you, all of you. Experienced everything before him.
He can’t help it. It’s pure jealousy. Jimin is a very jealous and possessive person. 
But he would never put you in a tough situation, he understood that you and him were just friends.
Taehyung:
Your ex was a straight up psycho.
He had DM'd him on instagram harassing him to no end.
Spouting nonsense, but I mean you did technically leave him for Tae but still all nonsense.
I mean he had you cut off from your family, you being the fool in love, you believed everything he said to you.
Then you met Taehyung on a business trip.
Your ex believes Taehyung turned you against him.
I mean you can’t say he’s not crazy, your ex threatened to fly out all the way to Korea to ‘get you back.’
Taehyung, although he would never voice this outloud did fear that you would leave him for your ex.
Your ex was an excellent manipulator.
He was also handsome and very feminine looking.
He found a picture of you on his instagram where you're holding hands and he could only note how small his hands were in yours, or how he was significantly shorter than you both and you would lean down to kiss his cheek.
Basically everything Tae wasn’t.
His hands were big, and when it came down to it he was only two inches shorter than you.
You and your ex were the perfect instagram couple, but he was batshit crazy.
And well you know what they say, don’t believe everything you see on the online.
Jungkook:
Jungkook was completely insecure about your ex.
First of all, you were a bisexual male. So that alone meant he had more competition than if you were just gay.
And second you were married before him, with kids!!
You left your wife a long time ago before your kids were born, because you both just could never have peace.
You fought all the time and she would walk out on you several times to ‘scare you.’
You were both very toxic in that relationship, you decided for the sake of happiness and safety of your kids you would separate and have shared custody over them.
It’s better than the kids growing up in a bad home environment and watching their parents fight all the time.
Therapy hadn’t worked so what else could you do.
They would spend the school year with her and stay with Jungkook and yourself over the summer.
So far things were going great, now that the kids were starting to understand things they didn’t seem to have a problem with anything. They were happy.
There had never been a problem… with the kids.
It’s been very clear to him that your ex wife still had some kind of attachment to you and vice versa. 
She was the mother of your children, you would always have a special love for her.
That’s where the insecurity comes in.
Legally there are no ties between you and him. Hell you don’t even live together yet and you’ve been together for 6 years now. Your twins were eight.
(You met Jungkook two years after your twin's birth, yes you are older than him.)
So there was nothing stopping you from getting back with her and cutting him loose.
It was kind of a given that Jungkook worried that one day he’d wake up only for you to tell him that you were going to give your marriage another try. 
That was his biggest insecurity, that you would go back to your ex.
His other insecurity is that your ex would give you an ultimatum, him or the twins. He already knows where you stand.
You’d choose your twins over anyone and everyone.
He tolerates your ex but isn’t the biggest fan, especially at reunions. 
That’s where he’s the most jealous, you look like the picture perfect family. 
But at the end of the day he knows that you love him and the twins love him, and even though your ex can’t stand being in the same room as him, he has nothing to worry about. 
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Crushed 15
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, cheating, sleazy behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your next door neighbours hook up, bringing to surface deep-seated feelings.
Characters: Colin Shea, Jonathan Pine
Note: Please scream at me!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
Love you like my dog loves belly rubs (that’s a lot). Take care. 💖
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After an early morning phone call, your mother insists on coming to town for lunch. You couldn't bear to tell her everything over the phone and frankly, you don't know how much you should tell her. You remember in high school when you were sent home after Kelly Harris dumped mud in your lap, your mother was more irritated to have you home than empathetic. 
You watch through the peephole before you sneak out. You haven't slept but you can't be sure Colin hasn't returned. There's enough noise in the building that it's hard to discern who's coming or going. 
When you do emerge, you flit quickly to the first floor and dip out, looking over your shoulder for either Colin or his vengeful girlfriend. You get through the lobby without trouble but you're not in the clear. Surely the day holds nothing but trouble, regardless of where it comes from.
You check the time as you wait for the cab. You refer to the text your mother sent before she set out and give the driver the name of the restaurant. You've never been there before and you're certain it's well out of your price range. Another debt for the tally.
This is the last thing you ever wanted. It makes all this drama seem all the more ridiculous. You’re a grown woman and this is what you’ve come to. Back to square one.
You approach the restaurant doors and enter with a sheepish grin. You don’t know that you own anything that wouldn’t be underdressed for this bougie brunch locale. Once more, you look at your phone. Crap, she’s there first. That means you're late even if you agreed on nine.
The hostess shows you to the table where your mother waits. She has her compact out as she touches up her mauve lipstick. She doesn’t acknowledge you or the hostess as you sit. She snaps shut the mirror and sips from her stemmed glass of orange juice.
“About time,” she drawls, “oh, and nice to hear from you after all these months.”
Her eyes finally deign to land on you. You gulp. You should’ve taken the chance of talking to your father but ultimately you know it’s not up to him.
“You’ve been so busy with Geri’s wedding–”
“Don’t try to guilt me for your neglect,” she warns, “you should be happy for your sister. Her fiance is a charming man. You’ve met Colton, haven’t you?”
“Once or twice,” you grumble. Family get togethers weren’t exactly your favourite memories. “I’ve been waiting on my invite–”
“Invite? You’re a bridesmaid. Geri sent out that email months ago. Is this why you weren’t at the fitting?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t get an email.”
“You’re wrong. Certainly, you must be. You and the rest of the girls are bridesmaids. You have to be. And it might be good for you to be involved in a wedding at least once,” she tuts. You don’t miss the jibe. Yeah, not like you have much hope of walking down the aisle.
“I’ll… I’ll call Geri and clear things up,” you say, “how are the others?”
“Well, Maeve is graduating this year. Always exciting. She’s thinking of joining Audrey at her alma mater. And Livia is somewhere in Spain again.”
“Ah, yeah, she sent me some pictures,” you say.
“And you? What are you up to?” She challenges. She’s not genuinely curious.
“Well,” you take a breath, pausing as a server comes to ask what you’d like to drink. You get the same as your mother and peruse the menu.
“Well…” your mother prompts.
“Yeah, um, I…” you shake your head, you can’t even look at her, “I am on leave from work so… not much.”
“Leave? What does that mean?” She hisses.
You feel your eyes tinge. You look at her. Why is she so different to you? Your other sisters can spill all their worries and whims but you, it’s always judgment. You can never do anything right.
“Uh, I thought maybe it might be a good time to–”
“Ah, pardon,” you’re interrupted before you can sputter out the revelation of another failure. You cringe as you recognise Jonathan’s silky lilt. Why? How? Do you even dare questioning fate anymore? “I just, I had to say hello.”
You force a smile and look at him, trying not to falter in front of your mother’s all-seeing gaze. She sits up, and lets out a hum of surprise as she sees Johnathan. Her lashes give a telling flick.
“Hello?” She utters quizzically.
“This must be one of your sisters,” he says as he runs his hand up the sleek lapel of his blue jacket, “very pleased to finally meet you.”
“Sister? Oh, do not flatter me. I am her mother, Eugenia,” she introduces herself with a smug smirk, “and how do you know each other?”
“Uh, oh,” you stutter and send Jonathan a desperate look. Do you tell her you’re his disgraced former employee? Or maybe just business acquaintance. She’s going to know eventually, that’s why you’re here. “Jonathan is–”
“Jonathan Pine,” he introduces himself, “honoured to finally meet you.” He looks at you, arching a brow before turning his attention back to his mother, “you both must be so excited for your elder daughter’s upcoming nuptials?”
“British?” She intones with intrigue.
“You’ve caught me out,” he grins, “your daughter’s been rather helpful in getting me acquainted with this country. Very lovely…” he peeks at you again, “hardly as lovely as her. You’ve raised a rather endearing daughter.”
“You…” she blinks in confusion, sending you another flabbergasted peek, “you and my daughter…” she lets the suggestion hang. Jonathan does too as he gives you an option; come clean or take the bait.
“I was waiting to introduce you at the wedding,” you blurt out, “I… it’s new.” You say, each word jarring as the lies piece themselves together on your tongue, “and I thought,” you look at Jonathan pointedly, “he was out of town.”
“Business trip was canceled, rescheduled to a business breakfast,” he slithers, “I’m meeting Gerry soon,” he checks his watch, “but I will be sure to tell the hostess to put your bill with mine.”
“Oh–” you squeak.
“Oh my,” your mother trills, “you are too kind. That is…” she gapes at you openly, “you… you’re with my daughter. Her?”
He chuckles lightly, “why wouldn’t I be with such a beautiful woman?”
“I didn’t mean– I don’t– I’m very surprised,” she exclaims shrilly, “she never mentioned, but then again, she’s always been so private. So shy. And you seem like such a lovely man.”
“I like to think so, but please, she is not the lucky one,” he preens and steps towards you. He places his hand on your shoulder and bends, grazing his lips across your cheek, “go with it,” he whispers. 
You turn your head just as his lips aim for yours. He kisses you and the air leaves the room. Your chest ties tight and your entire body tingles. Oh, wow. You’re too swept up in the sensation of his unexpected kiss that you can’t remember why you were so off-kilter a moment ago.
“Now let me not interrupt further. A mother-daughter reunion,” he puts his hand to his chest, “how sweet.”
He backs away and dips his chin. He turns on his heel and crosses the restaurant as you stare after him. The server approaches and sets your drink in front of you. You drink it in the silence of your mother’s disbelief.
“Well, you’ve done finely,” she says in a stunted cadence, “I… he’s so handsome. And tall. And blond!”
“Mom,” you plead as you nearly choke on the orange juice.
“Well. Even you must realise he’s very… dashing as they’d say in his home country,” she flutters her lashes dreamily, “oh, yes, you must bring him to the wedding. He’ll look wonderful in the photos.”
You wet your lips with your tongue and nod. You look down at the table, still buzzing as your lips warm up. You can’t stop thinking about that kiss. It nips away at the anger that kept you up all night, but hardly solves your anxiety.
You can’t tell your mother you expect to be evicted in the next month or that you lost your job. So what now? How do you untangle the knot that only grows bigger and bigger?
💗
For once, your time with your mom is less than torturous. She keeps her barbs dull enough to leave you only bruised. Her mood is a touch above neutral, which for you, is an accomplishment. You’re content but not entirely at ease. You have a lot to figure out.
You bid her goodbye just outside the patio seating and wave to her as she unlocks her luxury car. You watch until you see her get in and let out a sigh. Shit. Not only do you have Jonathan to worry about, but you don’t expect Colin to be AWOL much longer.
So what do you do? Go home and face the music or call Jonathan and try not to melt into a puddle of embarrassment. It was a nice favour of him to pretend but you don’t want to assume anything. High hopes and stupid girlish fantasies got you into all this.
As you walk along the curb, a short toot draws you to a stop. You turn as the whir of a car window steals your attention and you face the familiar car. Jonathan leans over the passenger seat to see you.
“You’re not going to run away again, are you?” He asks.
You twist your heel into the pavement and bend down. You furrow your brows as that big question needles between them. You can’t lie anymore, you can’t just wait for the truth to come out, you just have to ask.
“How did you know I was here?”
His brows lift and his eyes roll to the side. He gives a guilty grin, “I hope you don’t… misinterpret it but I… staked out your building.”
“What?” You puff out.
“Yes, I know, it sounds very bad. And I won’t claim it was entirely sane but I wanted to see the police take him away after I filed the report. To be sure you were safe and then… I sat stuck in my own head. Wanting to run up those stairs and knock on your door but also terrified you wouldn’t answer,” he shrugs, “and I followed you because I worried you might run into him, but that’s only half the reason…”
You swallow and step closer, “Jonathan, what are you doing?”
“Being crazy,” he lowers his eyes bashfully, “I know, you don’t need two madmen after you.”
You shake your head and reach for the handle. You open the door and get in. He sits back, watching you as you move your purse into your lap. You stare at the dashboard.
“What is going on?” You turn your head and look into his beautiful blue eyes, “what is this?”
“I don’t…” he begins.
“You’re my boss.”
“I was.”
“I never should’ve dragged you into this–”
“I’m so happy you did,” he murmurs.
“Jonathan, please,” you beg, “it’s not right–”
“You quit,” he insists, “so what isn’t right?”
You pout and sit back, turning straight and looking up at the upholstered ceiling of the car. You don’t know what to say. No, you don’t know how to say it. Except…
“I’m stupid.”
“What?” He scoffs.
“I’m stupid because… I’m scared and lost. And I can’t make you follow me through that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Feelings don’t just go, they just get complicated,” you explain, parsing through the stirring in your gut, “I hate Colin, I’m scared to hell of him, but I still… feel some of those things I felt.”
“Oh, but darling,” he reaches over and rests his hand above your shoulder, “I know feelings don’t just go. Mine certainly won’t.”
“Feelings? For me? Are you sure it’s not pity?”
“I only pity myself for how deeply I’ve fallen,” he breathes as you sense him leaning in, “the first day I saw you, I knew. I’ve never been much of a romantic but I have to confess something.”
“What?” You shy away, sensing how close he is.
“I knew how to use the coffee machine,” he admits, “I just needed an excuse.”
“You… did?” You look at him. He’s so much closer than you thought.
“Oh yes, if you hadn’t helped with the machine, I would’ve failed miserably in front of you at making copies. And if that didn’t work, well, I suppose I’d just have to make a mistake in my numbers,” he purrs, “you would’ve helped me, wouldn’t you?”
You quiver out a breath. You want to collapse into him, you want to let him make you forget everything but him, and yet, you’re so afraid. You’re afraid to believe that this could ever be real for you.
He doesn’t let your fear win. His lips are on yours again and that’s all you need. Nothing is left but that moment, the feeling of his mouth on yours, how his hand comes up to frame your jaw and cradle your cheek, his other creeping behind your head as he clings to you desperately. You can’t help by latching onto his collar, diving into his need.
You don’t stop until you're dizzy and breathless. He pulls back, hovering before you, thumb tracing your cheek bone as his other hand tickles your neck. His eyes search you, admire you, you’ve never been looked at like that.
“May I drive you home?” He asks softly, nuzzling your nose with his.
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bewitchingivy · 11 months
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WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE // pick a card
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Hey, lovely souls! I hope you're all doing well~♡ In this new PAC, we're going to uncover what's going to happen before your future spouse comes into your life, to give you some little hints~hehe. Maybe the events mentioned in the piles is happening to you now, who knows?
methods used in this reading: tarot, intuition.
࿐ DISCLAIMERS:
Tarot or any forms of divination is not set in stone. It’s not your only future, but a probable one with the current energy you have right now. If a reading doesn’t resonate, simply let it fly away and shift your energy. Because you can change your reality, and you have the undeniable power to do so.
Please keep in mind that my readings are for entertainment, positive, or inspirational purposes only. Please don’t take them as a professional or medical advice. Any actions or decisions taken are your responsibility.
The images I use in my blog are not mine unless I say so. The pictures belong to their respectful owners.
Now choose one (or more) of the latest releases from my top 5 favorite artists!
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PILE ONE / lavender haze - acoustic version by taylor swift
Greetings to the people who chose the first pile! Lovely to have you here <3
What we have in the cards here is that you will have some sort of recognition, achievement, or success before you meet your future spouse. Why am I strongly getting a graduation of some sort? The people who chose this pile are probably studying in college or highschool. There's going to be a celebration that your friends and family will have for you. At this time, you're going to receive a lot of praise and recognition. I'm also seeing that there's something spiritual happening after that, it's like you're going to have some spiritual transformation. You're going to grow spiritualy. Lastly, we have the Fools card here which tells me that after all this achievements and growth in your life, you're going to take a short break or vacation even for just a little while. Like a month or something. You will do a lot of self care and reflection at that time, and then you'll be ready to start new beginnings. And this new beginning coming your way? That's when you'll meet your future person <3
signs, confirmations, messages; a white dog (like a husky?), 444, clover leafs, going to a cafe, kdrama, tarot, yes, you're not late.
Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!
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PILE TWO / say yes to heaven by lana del rey
Hi there! To you who chose pile two, I hope you're doing well!
So to begin your reading, this is somehow related to the first pile, since your first cards are the six of wands. Both piles are going to achieve some success. You'll definitely get some attention from this, I'm getting that this achievement of yours is like, going to attract a lot people's attention. For some of you, I'm getting that this is a career that you've always wanted to have, and now you got it. But here's the thing, not all people are going to have good intentions. There's going to be someone from your past, at first I was getting an ex friend, but some of you could have an ex lover too. You no longer talk with this person, but then when you've achieved this success of yours, they're going to be like, out of nowhere, “Hi! Congratulations, I'm really happy for you.” Which to me, guys, I'm sorry, but I will say that those are just lies. I'm mostly just getting that they'll be jealous of you, and they'll want to start over with you again just because you have this career or whatever success you'll have. You will notice this though. And though you still might care for them, and a part of you wants to start over your relationship, you will be disappointed to see that they still haven't change for the better and then you will eventually decide that you're not going to rekindle the fire you had with them. You're going to decide that it's over, like ever. (WEEEEEE!! ARE NEVEREVEREVERGETTINGBACKTOGETHER-) Ahem. Anyways, that's great. I'm proud of you already that you're going to do that. Because you'll need to kick this person's ass out of your life so your future spouse can knock on your door already.
I didn't got any more signs/confirmations for you, pile two!
Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!
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PILE THREE / rush! by måneskin
Hello to you who has chosen the third pile~♡ I hope you're doing well!
Before meeting your future spouse, you will face some sort of decision whether you should leave or stay in a relationship. I'm really sorry to hear this, guys, but this person has/is going to give you pain. You put your hopes for this person only for them to disappoint you. I'm mostly seeing this is a romantic relationship, but for some of you it could be a friendship or a family member. But if it is a romantic relationship, it's going to be long distance. And for some of you, I'm just getting this, that it's not really a relationship but more like a situationship. Let me tell you some hints about this person; they have strong water placements and one of their hobbies is artistic. You're going to take a lot of time thinking and considering whether you should leave or not (this could involve some travelling/moving to another country as well.) It seems like you will be confuse what to decide. But since we have the Page of Wands as the last card, this strongly tells me you're going to choose to leave this relationship/situation behind even if it breaks your heart. But you have to do it for what's good for you and this person. And indeed it is, I mean, come on, your future spouse is on their way to you after this!
signs, confirmations, messages; ships, ocean, living near some large body of water (like a lake, river, beach, etc), 222, 47, april, grow and evolve, secret garden by frances hodgson burnett.
Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!
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PILE FOUR / francesca by hozier
Hey there! If you've chose pile four, well, lemme say I totally relate to your reading HAHAH- nevertheless, I hope you're staying hopeful for the future! ♡
So let me clarify some things first, if you're somehow being held back by authoritative figures or more like, parents, then this is your pile. If you don't resonate with this, you can choose another pile. So! Oh, man. I'm feeling very tired and drained after tapping into your energy. You will be feeling this way before meeting your FS. So first, you're going to begin a new. chapter in your life. After feeling caged up or something, you're finally going to decide to take matters into your own hands and do the things in order for you to live your desired life. You're definitely going to do this, I have no doubt that you're going to manifest your desired life. You're also going to be working a lot on yourself, improving yourself to be better, doing shadow work, self care, and all the like. However! There's one problem here. You've let your parents have power over you. That's completely understandable, I'm with you, guys, and I'm still working on my situation myself. But you have to realize that you shouldn't let them affect you anymore. You're your own person. It could be that you're afraid to disappoint them or whatever, but it could also be that your parents are pretty judgemental and you're afraid to be judged by them if you do choose to pursue your dreams and desires. This will lead you to feeling restricted and held back again. You'll start being afraid to move towards your future. However, I definitely see here that someone will be coming towards your life at this time to help you get through this. And who's this person going to be? YOUR FS. AAAACK AHSISHAKSJSHSG
signs, confirmations, messages; 111, life path 8, connect with your inner child, be gentle to yourself, your fs is going to be someone you'll have a crush on first.
Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!
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PILE FIVE / being funny in a foreign language by the 1975
The people who have chosen pile five are the chosen ones. LMFAO, yeah if your life would be a story, your trope would be the chosen one. Anyways! It's nice to have you here, chosen ones.
Okay, so what I'm getting here is that you guys are going to be working very hard about something. You're putting a lot of effort into this thing, or it could be your relationships around you too. It can be literally anything. Just anything that you're going to put a lot of effort and work, to the point that you'll forget about yourself. You're somehow overworking yourselves at this time, guys. I'm also sensing there's some unhealthy attachment or obsession over this particular thing. Please, take care and look after yourselves. But then, I see here that there's going to be some sort of epiphany or an aha moment right after, guys. It seems like someone's going to give you some advice, or a very harsh truth that you need to know. And it will make you pause and think about what you've been doing and all the efforts you gave to this certain thing the whole time. It's definitely going to hurt and hard to accept. But you will know that it's the truth. You're going to feel like you will lose everything. Lemme give you an example; you've taken a liking to someone and you'd really want to be with them, but then you put all your efforts to become the person you're not just for them to like you and you're giving all your time and energy to that person only for them to tell you one day that they don't share your feelings. Been there, done that 🙋🏻‍♀ But that's okay, guys. Because right along the harsh truth, is a new beginning. You're going to have the courage to begin again and you're taking the lessons you've learned and become more wiser and braver than before, ready to learn more about life. After that phase, you're going to meet your person <3
I haven't got any signs/confirmations for you, pile five!
Thank you for allowing me to read for you ♡ I'm sending much love and light your way and to your loved ones! — Ivy Feel free to send me a feedback and check out my masterlist for more!
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k-tarotz · 12 days
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P a i d R e a d i n g s
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𝐈. ASTRO ·.༄࿔
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𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . details about your future spouse 50,50£
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𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . compatibility reading between you and the person of your choice 55,50£
𝐈𝐈. Idol ·.༄࿔
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𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . you and your bias in a romantic relationship 25£
𝓒. Three of Cups ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . friendship between you and an idol of your choice 25$
𝓒. Knight of Cups ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your soul connection with idol of your choice 25£
𝓒. The Sun ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . how does the group of your choice view you 32£
disc.; for groups over 7 members it’s 32£+ as this is a reading that requires a lot of energy.
𝓒. Ace of Wands ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . which idol(s) are most similar to your future spouse 25£
𝓒. The World ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . .how will your biases next year be like? 25£
𝓒. The Wheel of Fortune ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . .how will your will your life go next year? 25£
𝓒. Chanel N° 5 ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . you and your celebrity crush in a romantic relationship 25£
𝓒. Seven of Cups ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your idol’s ideal types 10,50£
𝓒. Go Big or Go Home ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . detailed dynamics between the group of your choice 25,50£
disc.; for 7+ members it costs more
𝓒. BFF ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . you and the idol of your choice as best friends 25£
𝓒. Peekaboo ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . how the idol of your choice if viewed by people 27,50£
𝓒. Sweet Venom ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . compatibility between you and the kpop group of your choice 18£
𝓒. Polaroid Love ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . did you share a past life with your idol/bias? 22£
𝓒. When I Grow Up ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your life as a celebrity/idol 16.50£
𝐈𝐈𝐈. Romantic ·.༄࿔
ᡣ𐭩 these readings can both be about your future spouse or crush. we do not judge, so pick whatever is most comfortable for you.
𝓒. Red String of Fate ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a person who will serve a romantic purpose in your future, but is not your future spouse 32£
𝓒. Aurora Lights ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . compatibility between you and your special person 15£
𝓒. Love ABCS ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . describing everything your person loves about you 30£
𝓒. Red light Green light ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . red and green flags of the person of your choice 10£
𝓒. Serendipity ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your future partners initials and zodiac/birth month 5£
disc.; this is done through pendulum. not an indepth question.
𝓒. Starlight ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your crush’s view on you 16£
𝓒. Tied to The Soul ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . have you already met your future spouse? 18,50£
𝓒. Crush on You ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . would your crush reciprocate your love? 15,50£
𝓒. Love Potion ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what do people love about you 15£
𝓒. Tell Me Tell Me ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . channeled message from your future spouse 6,50£
𝓒. Heart to Heart ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your future spouse as a person 18£
𝓒. My Universe ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a reading on you and your fictional other 10,50£
𝓒. Pretty little Liars ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . we will tell you if x and y are/were/will be in a relationship or if one has a crush on the other 22,22£
disc: this can be about anyone you desire as long as it’s within appropriate limits / boundaries
𝐈𝐕. Intimate Readings ·.༄࿔
ᡣ𐭩 these are 18+ readings and can get very explicit with descriptions, please keep that in mind before buying! these readings are preferably about future spouse, you alone or people you have already had positive interactions with. minors cannot purchase anything from this section.
𝓒. Dirty Dancing 18+ ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . the intimate life of you and your future spouse 26,50£
𝓒. The Devil 18+ ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what makes you desirable to others? 18,50£
𝓒. Lover 18+ ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what will your first time be like? 18,50£
𝓒. Lucky Charm 18+ ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . the kinks of your future spouse/crush 15£
disc.; crush must know you on a personal level
𝓒. Honeymoon 18+ ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . everything about your honeymoon 25,50£
𝐕. Generic ·.༄࿔
ᡣ𐭩 these are a mix of readings that you can apply to life as a whole. feel free to choose whichever you wish to.
𝓒. Lady Dior ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your story as royalty 18,50£
𝓒. Silver Dragon ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . you as a mythical being 15£
𝓒. Jeanne D’arc ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what would it be like for you to live in the past 15£
𝓒. To Be or Not To Be ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . should you do/purchase the thing you are thinking of? 12,50£
𝓒. Cat Eye ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . things you might be good at but not realise 12,50£
𝓒. Dynamic Duo ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . dynamic between two people you are curious of 15£
𝓒. Upper Side Dreaming ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what your dream is trying to tell you 10,50£
𝓒. Paw in Paw ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a reading about your animal guides 13,50£
𝓒. Two of Wands ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . career advice from your guides 15,50£
𝓒. Aurora ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what does your aura look like? 15£
𝓒. One In A Billion ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . what was your past life like? 20£
𝓒. Me, Myself & I ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . your life in another universe 15,55£
𝓒. StarFire ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . who are your spirit guides 10,50£
𝓒. Teddy Bear ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a reading on how you can connect more to your inner child 10,50£
𝓒. 7 Days A Week ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a reading about how your next week will be like 12,50£
𝓒. Day to Day ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . a reading about how your next year will be like 18,50£
𝓒. Yes or No ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . simple yes or no question, but in depth 4,44£
disc.; if you don’t want an indepth answer it’s only 2£
𝓒. Mirror, Mirror ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . general reading of your choice 4£
disc.; 4£ per question
𝐕𝐈. Platonic ·.༄࿔
ᡣ𐭩 these readings are about platonic connections, with whoever your heart desires to get them with.
𝓒. Other Half ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . initials and zodiac/birth month of your most important platonic soulmate 5£
𝓒. Sound of The Wind ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . 5 long channeled messages from different people in your life 15£
𝓒. Melody & Kuromi ୭
𓈒 ࣪ ˖ ୭ৎ ࣪ . . . the dynamic between you and your friend 15,50£
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꒰ ౨ৎ 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 .ᐟ .ᐣ
please read our rules before purchasing as they exist for a reason! we do appreciate the time you spend on reading it. the list could potentially become longer in the future.
✦ payments are made through paypal or ko-fi.
✦ as of now, we do not offer refunds.
✦ readings can take up to 7-9 days maximum depending on circumstances.
✦ by purchasing from us you agree that any sort of tarot, astrological or spiritual reading of the sort is for fun and entertainment purposes and not to be taken seriously. as well as that we are not responsible for any sort of action, behaviour or mentality you do or believe because of them. our readings aren’t meant to be taken as stone cold truth but as a grain of salt. an entertainment form meant to ease the curiosity of your mind, or cure a boredom you might have.
✉️ example message: “ Hi, I am (initials/nickname) and I would like to purchase (reading name)! “
. . . . thank you for your time and for giving our paid reading’s page a look! we appreciate you, your interest and for getting through all that! if you ever have any questions you’d like to ask please feel free to go ahead and do so, we do not mind! 🫶🏻
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