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#once again you should feel guilty for eating food

thinlyangel · 2 months

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TW⚠️🍽️

Everything I’ve learnt while researching how to overcome b1nge eating:

I’ve heard so many people say when they’re b1ng1ng, it doesn’t feel like themselves, it feels like something is taking over- and that’s true. You have your rational/logical mindset, this one knows how much you should eat, when you’re full, when you should stop eating, etc. but then you have your animal instincts, this is the one that takes over when you’re b1ng1ng, you can’t stop eating even when you’re in pain from how full you are, often you won’t even feel full. This is because when your body turns on animal instincts, you act without thinking, your body makes choices that rely on how you would usually react in that situation. If you’re faced with food and you b1nge, it will become your body’s natural reaction to continue to do that every time you’re faced with food. I used to wonder how I went from b1ng1ng for a day, to b1ng1ng for a week straight, and that’s because the more I did it the more my body considered it a knowing ability.

If you want to fight your body’s natural reaction, you have to change your actions. Nothing changes if nothing changes- I often see giving in to urges described in this way: once you start giving in, you create this demon in your mind, and everytime you give in, every b1nge, you are feeding that demon. The more you feed it the more power it has over you, and eventually it can take over. You don’t want to put that spirit inside of you, keep them out and your future self will thank you, so remember… DONT FEED THE DEMON. When you feel like you’re going to b1nge, remember that you’re giving in to that demon, you are feeding it and you are giving it the power to take over. It doesn’t matter if your b1nge is ‘just this one time’, because that’s not true. This one time is contributing to the power of so many more b1nges, and I’m sure you can remember a time you told yourself ‘just this one time’, and it wasn’t the last time.

That is a reason to not b1nge, but why do you feel like it in the first place? It’s really important to recognise that. This is my reason, and I feel that many could relate.

I always see people saying you b1nge because you’re stressed, but I never understood stress eating, sometimes I thought I’m not even stressed about school or anything why would I stress eat? Until I learnt that if you are heavy restricting, when the honeymoon phase is over you will most definitely be stressing. Stressing over things like counting calories, meal plans or weighing in… all of that causes stress. Not eating is causing you stress, so now you think that if you just eat you won’t be stressed, so you allow yourself to eat and in that moment you will finally feel relaxed, relieved. That is until you feel guilty and all of a sudden b1ng1ng is giving you stress. Then you start restricting again and you find relaxation and peace in things like meal planning or ⭐️ving… and eventually that starts to stress you out, this is what become a b1nge-r3strict cycle. (Some people’s cause for a b1nge can be different, you just have to recognise what yours is by finding a pattern, once you find it, it becomes easier to train your mind otherwise.)

To break this cycle, like I said you need to train your mind otherwise. Now that I know heavy r3stricting causes me stress, there are 2 things I can do:

1. R3strict in a way that is less stressful.

2. Find another way to deal with stress.

(For step number 1, it is important to try and fall in love with the process so that you feel comfort rather than stress.)

Step number 2 is the one I’m going to be focusing on. I often see people say if you feel like b1ng1ng, choose one of these things to do, and then they’ll provide a long list of different things. And although that list is a good way to find a distraction, it’ll work best to choose one and stick with that one. Find the one that’ll work best for you and train your brain to make that the new stress relieving, relaxing situation that you automatically crave. For me, I like to have a shower and do things like hair or skin care, not only does this relax me, it also makes me feel like I shouldn’t ruin all this self care with a dirty b1nge.

This next tip is similar but explains habit cycles more in depth. Your brain creates a habit loop like this:

1. Cue: a trigger for a habitual behaviour (e.g stress or a sudden negative event)

2. Routine: the habit. (In this case, b1ng1ng).

3. Reward: the result, feeling better (less stressed or relieved/happiness).

Because this is a habit, your animal instincts are again kicking in and whenever you feel the trigger, you automatically go to eat. To change the habit you need to change your routine to something that gives you the same reward. I mentioned how you can do something to relieve stress instead of eating, but there are other ways. For smokers, they are used to reaching for their cigarettes and holding on to one and smoking, to break this loop, they replace the cigarettes with lollipops. When they’re stressed they automatically reach for the cigarettes, which is now a lollipop, and they still have something to hold, they are still doing something similar and they will still feel that comfort, but in a less harmful way. So you kind of need to find something in the comfort of b1ng1ng but less harmful, it could be simply replacing your chocolate stash with an apple so when you go to your comfort b1nge spot you’re faced with a healthier food option that can give you the same satisfaction. You still feel comfort and feel the reward while also being healthier. (I’ve noticed that when I’m b1ng1ng I feel comfort in just stuffing my face and chewing, by eating something healthier I can still do that, with less regret. Also the crunchy texture of apples helps with the satisfaction of chewing.)

An interesting thing I learnt is that when you focus so much on stopping something, you are more likely to end up failing and giving in. This is because humans are action-oriented, and when we are faced with a problem we take action. Our brain is trained to think that when you take action you receive a reward (e.g your tire goes flat, so you fix it and receive the reward of the ability to drive again). This is called the ‘behavioural rebound effect’. To sum it up you will end up doing the thing you’re thinking of (thinking you’ll get a reward if you fix the problem), so instead of focusing on that thing, focus on the behaviour you want to replace it with, think about what you want to become. Instead of focusing on not b1ng1ng, focus on your gw and how you will look and feel when you reach it. Because if you’re thinking about not b1ng1ng, your brain still hears the word b1nge. This is why you give yourself something healthier to focus on, like your future plans or the lollipop smoking thing i mentioned before.

While making new habits to replace the b1ng1ng habit, you have to keep your stress levels low so your brain can actually consider the new routine peaceful. When creating a new habit try to get lots of sleep and try to feel good, if you feel good you’ll do good and if you feel good doing the new habit you’ll keep wanting to do it.

Next tip is to remember that food is literally planned out and designed to make you want more, you have to remember that you don’t actually want the food, you’re just giving in to the food addiction that marketing teams want you to have. For an example, your brain gets addicted to sugar, so not only are you constantly craving it because it’s an addiction, you also are lying to yourself by saying ‘just one bite’, because once your brain has that piece of sugar it’s been dying for, you’ll want more, and more, and more. So you should never give in to just one bite if you want to avoid a b1nge, and also, if you want to fight the addiction, you have to gradually (or straight away) cut that food out.

Also, if you constantly deprive yourself of something that you want, you’re more likely to fail. Keep your goals realistic so that you don’t drain yourself of motivation and will-power, slowly lower your goal if that’s what you have to do. You work better when you’re closer to success, if your goal is too far away then have smaller, stepping stone goals. Like if your goal is to lose 10kg, have milestone goals like 2kg at a time.

Another obvious thing is if you’re in a situation when you feel like you’re going to b1nge… LEAVE. Sometimes you’ll be forced to eat like if you live with your parents, but you’ll never be forced to b1nge, don’t ever feel pressured into b1ng1ng just because you got forced to eat something out of your plan. Unexpected things happen so you need to allow yourself wriggle room, if something gets in the way of your meal plan, simply making a quick change is better than letting the day go to waste by b1ng1ng. Another quick tip is your brain mistakes thirst for hunger, sometimes simply just drinking water can prevent you from a b1nge.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Also, I’ll continue to post new tips that I learn, and record my progress on how these tips work for me.

I hope this helps someone :) good luck!

#pro a4a #tw ana diary #tw disordered eating #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ving #@n0r3xia #@na trigger #ana trigger #th1nsp1ration

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rashomonss · 3 months

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I couldn't stop thinking about this after reading your "Readjusting" hc

Imagine that the reason MC started acting like a "proper" attendant was because Barbatos couldn't stand how improper and casual Mc was with the brothers. He decides to take her under his wing but he isn't gentle about it, not even when it becomes clear that MC is human, on the contraire, he becomes harsher with his methods until even the brothers notice. Meanwhile MC could be in the state of mind to believe that they deserve to be treated in such ways because they feel guilty over letting everyone assume they were a demon

Also think about how this treatment would affect MC relationship with Barbatos. Imagine MC slipping up in front of him and immediately tensing and starting to apologize. How scared MC would be of even the thought of doing something NB!Barbatos though them was wrong and undignified of her to do/say as the brothers attendant.

And how heartbroken OM!Barbatos would be at seeing MC be so terrified of him.

so I’m currently deep diving thru my drafts and inbox and this was from forever ago so I’m so sorry I’m only getting it done now (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, )

anyway oh. my. god.

i absolutely love this idea! the angst potential this ask has is literally to die for. i’ll be incorporating a few of my readjusting ideas as well and yeah i know nightbringer didn’t go in this direction but im going in it anyway, so i hope yall enjoy! (๑>؂•̀๑)

you’re nothing more and nothing less

You admired yourself in the mirror then stared at the reflection looking back at you.

Sighing you gave yourself a small smile, then remembered his words before giving yourself one last look in the mirror.

“You really do look decent when you know how to clean up.”

An attendant is supposed to look sharp, and presentable no matter the circumstance. They are a direct representation of who they’re serving. How was a noble demon supposed to take the seven rulers of hell seriously if their attendant didn’t even know how to properly dress or present themselves?

Your tie had to be perfectly crisp and presentable, same with the cuffs of your uniform; not a wrinkle should be present. Next, your preferred uniform bottom was ironed with no wrinkle in sight, and your shoes shined to the point you could see your reflection. Each plead and fold was sharp, crisp, and perfect.

Your hair looked presentable and you carried out your normal face routine making sure you looked awake and ready for the day. Finally, you organized your belongings and sat them by your table in a neat fashion ready to be grabbed once you headed off to RAD.

You then made your way to the kitchen and prepared breakfast for everyone as well as coffee and tea for those who usually required it.

As you were finishing up most of the food Beel walked into the kitchen heading straight for the fridge. “Morning MC,” he said catching his breath.

“Good Morning Beel, how was your run? Also, your snack is on the counter so please refrain from eating anything in the fridge,” you replied, as you continued cooking.

“Oh thank you.” he smiled while closing the fridge. As he sat at the counter watching you cook he couldn’t help but become confused at the sight. “Wasn’t it Levi’s turn to make breakfast this morning?”

“It was but he stayed up late last night, and I had a feeling he would oversleep so I took the liberty of making it myself. Not to worry though because I have nothing against cooking for all of you”

Beel frowned in response “Yeah but this is the third day in a row you’ve prepared breakfast and dinner”

“Is it now? Well I have no problems with it unless the rest of you do, I am your attendant after all.”

Beel stopped eating and frowned again, “MC you’re an exchange student from the human realm. You’re back home; there’s no reason for you to still act as our attendant.”

You didn’t respond, instead you finished up the food and began to plate each brothers breakfast. Beel tried to speak again but you cut him off.

“Apologies but could you do me a favor and wake up your brothers for breakfast? I wouldn’t want them to be late for classes.”

Beel gave you a sympathetic look and nodded just before leaving the kitchen.

You did stop to think about his words though. After all everything that happened in the past didn’t need to be continued in the present, you could go back to living how you normally did before.

The only problem was that you didn’t know how to go back to that carefree lifestyle. After being on edge constantly while being stuck in the past you found yourself adapting to that lifestyle. So breaking it all of a sudden was much harder than everyone understood.

Humans are adaptable creatures, they adapt and survive to whatever environment they are thrown into, no matter the circumstances; at least that’s how he explained it.

He drilled it into your head that if you wanted to survive against the best of the best you needed to be superior in every way. It didn’t matter to him if you were a demon or human, neither was an acceptable excuse for not being absolutely perfect.

This mindset had been engraved into your soul during the small time period you were there, so for everyone to just tell you to forget about it was something you couldn’t do even if you tried. They all needed to accept that this was how you were now; and maybe with due time you’ll revert back to your old self.

Numerous voices could be heard in the dining room causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You sighed and then took a deep breath before walking into the room with everyone’s plates.

“Good morning everyone, how’s are all of you?” You asked placing plates in front of each brother at the table.

“Mornin’ MC, I’m fine how are ya?” Mammon said yawning.

“I’m good thank you for asking, but I would be even better if you fixed your tie and shirt” you smiled, placing his food in front of him.

“Dah you sound like Lucifer…” he groaned. It did work however because he buttoned up his shirt and tightened his tie before eating, to which you smiled at him in response.

“That goes for all of you as well, fix your uniforms please.” you said, placing the last plate in Lucifer’s spot. Each groaned and fixed themselves as well before they began to eat.

A laugh was then heard from the doorway which made you look up in response. The oldest then greeted you with a kiss to the cheek before sitting down.

“I see your keeping them on a tighter leash than I am.” Lucifer said looked up at you.

“Well of course. How is anyone supposed to take the seven of you seriously when you don’t even wear the uniform properly.” The room fell silent and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Thank you MC, but you realize that you don’t have to worry about our images anymore. You know your home correct..? You don’t have to continue being our attendant.”

You sighed then spoke after a few minutes. “Thank you for your concern I appreciate it, but if you’ll excuse me I have to get the dishes clean”

“Wait you’re not having breakfast with us dear?” Asmo asked worried.

“You haven’t eaten with us at all since you came back. Come on MC, please?” Satan then said.

“I appreciate the concern but I already ate. Thank you for the offer though, I do appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“As their attendant you should not be eating with them unless permitted on a special occasion. It’s basic etiquette as a servant to eat in the kitchen. So you will eat when I eat. Understand?”

That phrase popped in you head again and you sighed heading towards the kitchen.

. . .

The walk to RAD was normal, for you at least, the brothers were a different story entirely.

They tried engaging with you or even walking next to you but you stayed silent and walked behind them.

Normally you’d walk at the same pace and would engage in any kind of small talk but ever since you returned walks to a from RAD had been awkward for the brothers.

Barbatos never walked next to Diavolo, and he taught you to do the same with the brothers.

“You aren’t from the same status, so you should take your place behind them as a result.”

That phrase played in your head as Mammon talked to you about his latest new scheme. You realized that he was walking at the same pace you were so you slowed down ever so slight and engaged in a bit of small talk with him.

The second born frowned as he saw you retreating again, so with a sigh he finished talking and walked a bit faster to catch up with the eldest.

You could see them shorting you glances and whispering to each other but neither said a word to you.

You understood they probably weren’t a fan of this behavior either, but it’s not as if you could break it anytime soon, after all what would he think if you were acting casual with everyone again?

. . .

“Good morning MC” Barbatos spoke, smiling as he slightly waved at you.

Upon seeing him your posture straightened up and you immediately greeted him back with a wave and a nod, in the same fashion he greeted you with. You held eye contact for a brief moment then looked over towards Lucifer.

“I believe we should head out now. There’s paperwork to be done. It was lovely running into you but we’ll be on our way now” you said to the butler.

Before he even had a chance to respond you grabbed Lucifer and dragged him through the hall leaving a confused Barbatos alone in the hallway.

Lucifer tried to question you about your behavior towards the butler but you always avoided talking about it.

Diavolo tried his hand as well and you had given him the same excuse you gave Lucifer. Sighing, the two decided to talk to you over tea instead, hoping that it might calm the mood.

So you followed Lucifer into the council room where Diavolo sat, waiting with a smile. The minute you saw him you smiled back, but soon tensed when Barbatos appeared behind him.

“Sit down MC” Diavolo gestured as soon as you reached the table.

You bowed slightly and did as you were told, making sure to keep yourself in line while Barbatos was present.

Barbatos from the past despised when you were casual with Lord Diavolo and shut down your relationship with him the second he took you as an apprentice.

As Diavolo began to speak you listened attentively and sat up straight making sure to hold eye contact just as Barbatos had instructed you to do before

“MC…” he started. “I understand that it's taken you awhile to try and readjust to everything again, and while we don’t want to pester your progress we do want to talk to you about a few things.”

Were you in trouble? Your heart sank to your stomach as you gripped your uniform bottoms under the table.

“What can I help you with then?” You asked.

“Well for starters you needn’t be so tense, we’re close after all! It’s okay to let loose around us” Diavolo smiled as he gestured towards Lucifer who nodded in response.

“I thank you for your concern, and I will try to relax as you asked” you then nodded.

Your formal response tugged at a frown on Diavolo’s face. “Thank you, now then let’s enjoy some tea.” he said, trying to quickly change the subject.

You froze on the spot as Barbatos brought out the cart of tea and a few snacks. Immediately you jumped up and helped him set the table, much to everyone’s surprise.

“MC, you can leave it to me.” Barbatos said after a moment.

“I understand” you nodded yet still continued picking up the tray of snacks and placing plates in front of Lucifer and Diavolo.

After you finished you stepped behind Barbatos, almost as if you were his shadow. With a sigh he turned to you and tried to ask you to sit back down but you refused.

So instead he tried to guide you to your seat and you stepped away from him in response, the further you took a step back the closer he took a step forward. It wasn’t until you hit the snack cart had you realized how close the two of you were.

However that was short lived as the dish holding the sugar fell off the cart and shattered on the floor the moment you hit it.

Your eyes went wide in horror and you fell to the floor to clean it up in an instant, muttering to yourself silently.

“MC, are you-“

“I’m so sorry, Lord Diavolo, I'll clean this up right away. Please forgive me” you said swiftly picking up the shattered glass and trying your best to clean everything.

“It’s okay, don’t worry it was an accident” Diavolo said as he got up to make sure you were okay.

You shook your head as you went back to cleaning. You were positive Barbatos was going to kill you, he made sure to let you know if you ever messed up in Lord Diavolo’s presence.

So when his figure loomed over you your body tensed with fear as you looked up at him. However his expression didn’t match what you assumed it would’ve been.

He looked concerned and bent down to inspect your hands, hoping there wasn’t any blood due to the shards of glass from the dish.

You immediately retracted your hand when you noticed a cut and Barbatos stiffened.

“I’ll clean this up right away, excuse me” you said as you jumped to your feet and ran out of the council room, leaving three very confused and concerned demons behind.

As the door flew open when you left Solomon walked in with a bewildered look as you rushed out. “What happened? Is everything okay?” He asked as his eyes followed your figure rushing down the hall.

“It’s MC,” Lucifer sighed.

“What about them?” Solomon questioned.

“Long story short they were helping Barbatos and dropped the sugar then bolted out of the room in a panic when Barbatos grabbed their hand to see if they were okay.” Diavolo said with a sigh.

“Ah, that explains things then.” Solomon nodded. “And Barbatos I would refrain from touching or even being near MC for the time being”

“And why is that?” Barbatos questioned with a frown.

“Because MC is probably still on edge after serving alongside you in the past. Let’s just say your methods weren’t exactly…ideal, for a human.” He sighed.

His heart broke upon hearing those words. Barbatos frowned upon learning he was the reason for their rigid behavior and unwillingness to open up to him or Lord Diavolo again.

“I understand,” he sighed.

“If we just talk to MC I’m sure they’ll understand-“ Diavolo started.

“You can, but they haven’t changed their behavior with the brothers so I doubt they change it now. I’ll talk to them when I see them again” Solomon sighed.

Lucifer made a sour expression upon hearing Solomon’s words, mainly because he knew they were true. After all he had spoken to MC countless times yet nothing has changed.

Solomon handed a few papers to Diavolo who read over them in surprise. “Cocytus Hall? That place hasn’t been used in ages, and you wish to move in there?”

“Yes, well Mc and I.” He nodded. “All the paperwork should be there if you’ll allow it”

Lucifer shot the sorcerer a glare and shook his head. “Is that really necessary? That’s quite the opposite of having MC adapt back to the present”

“On the contrary I didn’t suggest this. They did, and if it's what they want I don’t mind indulging my sweet apprentice” He smiled.

The three frowned at Solomon’s words. No matter how annoyed he made them, they all agreed that he was the only one you talked to like normal.

It wasn’t fair that he was the only one that got that attention from you. After a few more minutes of going back and forth Diavolo finally approved the idea, much to Lucifer’s protests.

It was just a thought but Diavolo hoped that if he did this you would eventually come back to them, and not the you that was terrified and uptight, he missed the carefree human who could brighten up the room.

With a sigh the room fell silent as Solomon left, all three demons were running out of ideas and the longer you avoided them the more painful it had become.

How long were they supposed to stay like this? They all wondered with tense sighs.

#obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me #omswd #omnb #obey me nightbringer angst #obey me angst #obey me barbatos #demon brothers #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me solomon

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thelov3lybookworm · 12 days

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Tolerate It (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary: Everyting will be okay.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: shes a lil small, but shes here hehe

(also creds to @mybestfriendmademe for giving me the idea for the part about fights and silence 🥹😚)

enjoy!

Azriel had never been given the love a child should have received, and maybe that was the reason he thought himself undeserving of it.

Maybe it was his ugly hands and the way he knew that those hands would taint the beautiful, pure skin of his mate.

Whatever it was, he knew he had fucked up when he returned home to find the house empty, the usual warmth and happy aura that he had gotten used to being gone, the house now back to the desolate place it had been before she came along to light it up.

Azriel had realised how much of an ass he'd been to his mate the moment he left, and then decided that he would apologise and explain his behaviour when he returned home that night.

But then the house was empty, and the whole place void of the things that made him want to call it home, so Azriel had simply sighed, knowing he was at fault as he turned and flew to the river house.

Of course, his sister in law had glared holes into his back the entire time he had been begging Rhys to disclose Y/n's location, and even Rhys looked disgusted with his brother.

Defeated, Azriel knew she would not be found unless she wanted to be, so he decided to return and wait it out.

Just before he left the River house, he ordered his shadows to go search the whole of Velaris for Y/n.

"Leave her alone. Let her think this through. You fucked up brother, now let her decide if she wants to forgive you."

Azriel ignored Rhysand, taking off towards the home he used to share with her, now nothing but four walls and a roof to him.

He knew he fucked up, he didn't need anyone to tell him that.

But still, no one left him be. No one let him wallow in his self hatred and pity.

They made it worse by fucking caring for him.

Cassian would visit Azriel, yell and fight, but then leave him food to eat because Azriel was so busy beating himself up over his actions that he had forgotten to eat anything.

Nesta would visit, starting to clean around the house without a word, and when Azriel would try to stop her, she would just glare at him and say the same few words. She did not like untidiness. I'm doing it for her.

Rhys had also stopped sending Azriel on missions, so that didn't help in any way considering Azriel had nothing to occupy his time with, ensuring him feeling guilty all the damn time.

Her silence made him curse himself more. Being an Illyrian, he was used to fights and arguments, but he wasn't used to being ignored. You either fought it out, or you killed in the camps. There was no other choice.

The quiet was too loud for Azriel, to the point he was convinced he was going mad.

It had been almost a week of him either staring up at his ceiling, wanting to just die, or bawling his eyes out in the bathtub, because then no one would see the tears that escaped his eyes.

Once again, Azriel could not help but think of how if he had just opened up to Y/n, let himself be vulnerable, cried in front of her as he told her of everything he had been through, he wouldn't have had to wipe his tears by himself.

Because then she would have wiped his tears for him, held him through the worst of nights, and kissed his sadness away.

But alas, he just had to continue being his thick skulled bastard self.

As he now stared at the half eaten apple Feyre had shoved into his hand when she stopped by his house on her way to the art studio, his heart stopped.

No. Some of us must stay back with him.

It doesn't matter. He will cry anyway. We must go to her.

She doesn't need all of us right now.

His head whipped to where a couple of his shadows hovered nearby, his eyes wide, breath hitched in his throat.

The apple tumbled from his slack grip.

"What..."

The shadows froze, then frantically hurried away, slipping through the space under the door, the couch, the window.

And Azriel could do nothing but sit back, a broken breath escaping him at the realisation that the shadows had known all along where she had been, but had kept the knowledge from him.

They were, after all, their own being, not to be commanded but placated.

After long moments of silence, Azriel got up from the couch and slid to his knees, his head hung low in defeat.

Please, he begged.

Please.

A startled gasp jolted Azriel from the trance he'd been in, and he raised his head to find himself staring into the eyes of his beloved, the eyes he had tried so hard not to become familiar with in case she saw the truth one day, realising he did not deserve her.

Azriel stared, and stared.

And continued staring until she spoke up.

"Az- what are you doing here?"

Azriel blinked, feeling something- presumably a tear- escape his eye as he glanced around. "I... I don't-"

His shadows hissed at him before he could continue, and he paused.

"I wanted to apologise."

Her eyes, that were hard until now, softened. Whether it was at the sound of his broken voice, the state of his being, or the tears streaming down his face without him realising, he didn't know.

And he didn't care as he took in her form, clad in an oversized shirt- his shirt- and nothing else, her hair unbound and messy, the soft skin of her legs on full display for him.

Slowly, he raised his eyes to meet hers, where tears now accumulated.

"Oh Az." She mumbled, stepping forward towards his kneeling, hunched form.

"Forgive me my love. I love you, I love you so so much, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

Azriel's chest heaved as he reached his hands out, trying to grab at Y/n's shirt, but she walked forward without any prompting. Mirroring his position, she knelt in front of him, tugging him into her chest as his hands scrambled to hold her back, panicked as if she was going to vanish any moment.

It was getting harder to take a breath, tears constantly streaming down his face, any and all air he could take into his lungs escaping in startling gasps, emptying his body, lightening his head-

"Shh, take a deep breath with me."

It was nearly impossible, but he tried. Opening and closing his mouth, trying to get his lungs to work, expanding his chest voluntarily in hopes it would help.

When that didn't work, he shoved his head into the stretch of skin connecting her neck to her collarbone, letting himself drown in the unique scent of his mate.

Finally, his lungs started working again, if only to have her scent dominate all his other senses.

"It's okay, you're okay." She was still mumbling, her body so warm and welcoming as she remained wrapped around him, comforting his cold self.

"It's not." He whispered back, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm-"

"Sorry, I know." She rubbed her hand down his back. "And I am sorry too, for leaving instead of talking it out. But now, I'm ready. I'm sure we can work things out, right?"

He nodded frantically, pulling back to show her how sincere he was being, his head tilted back to look her in the eye. She smiled at him softly, brushing his hair back from his face, quiet understanding on her face.

"It will all be okay."

It will be.

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend @stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh @st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium @fandomarchiveilyd

Tolerate it taglist: @anuttellaa @willowpains @blackgirlmagicforever @isa1b2h3 @helloevilmuffins @bunnyredgirl @hellsenthero @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @fxckmiup @honeybee54321 @nahimgoodmom @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @sweetcarolina-24 @misskennygirl @macel625 @justyouraveragekleemain @its-sam-allgood

#azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel fic #acotar #acotar fandom #acotar fanfic #acotar fluff #acotar series #acotar writing #mating bond #sarah j maas #a court of thorns and roses #acotar headcanon #azriel spymaster #azriel acotar #acotar fanfiction #azriel fanfic #azriel x you

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catnipaddictt · 18 days

Text

I like you

dbf!anakin skywalker x gn!reader

synopsis: Your dad's best friend comes round for dinner leading to some unspoken feelings being revealed

wc: 1.4k

tw: fluff, inappropriate age gap, kissing

comment: once again no beta reader so watch out for mistakes, this one goes out to @memoiich <3

The smell of your dad's cooking filled the house as you made your way down the stairs from your room. From the extra pair of work boots at the entrance way you knew he was here. Entering the kitchen you see the ‘feast’ your father had placed on the kitchen countertop. Golden roast potatoes, tender meat, and colourful greens combined together for a symphony of smell. Your mouth watered just think about it. But it was nothing compared to when he walked inside.

His golden curls fell around his face like a halo, making his blue eyes stand out. With him he brought the smell of cigarettes and car oil, something you were used to by now. Something you sought comfort in. You have known Anakin Skywalker for a number of years now. He and your father had been friends ever since you two had moved towns. After your parents divorce you and your father had packed up and left that life behind. A fresh start.

That was 3 or so years ago now and you two haven't looked back since. You met Anakin in your last year of highschool and that's when your silly crush began. It started off when he began coming around more often for a drink. Which then turned into a weekly event. And then dinners. You definitely weren't complaining though.

Saying Anakin was gorgeous would be an insult to him. He was perfect in your eyes. If only you were born early. Anakin, now in his 40s, had no business running around with someone as young as you. So you kept admiring yourself and the dairy you hid in your dresser.

He smiles upon seeing you “hey princess”. That nickname, one of the many he gave you, made you internally kick yourself. “oh hi Ani” you grab yourself a glass of ice cold water, feeling his eyes follow you. “Going to come join me and your old man?” He questions to which you nod, “wouldn't miss it.” You grab yourself a plate and serve yourself some food before waiting for him to grab another beer for himself. He follows you out the old sliding door onto the concrete patio.

Plastic chairs sit around a circular wooden table, the side facing the wall occupied by your father. He greets you with a bright smile, making you feel guilty for harboring feelings for his friend. You pull out a chair against the side of the house before seating yourself in it comfortably. Anakin sits in the chair next to you. Placing your glass on the table, you half listen into the conversation happening between the two men. Something about Anakin's work as a mechanic. You hear your name being said, and feel Anakin tapping your leg under the table.

“Not boring you to sleep are we?” he jokes, to which your father lets out a gruff laugh. “Of course not” you smile brightly at them before turning you attention to your father, “what were you saying?”

“Anakin was just asking about your classes.” You turn to him before replying; “same old really, too much useless paperwork, not enough practical learning.” You had been attending the community college nearby for a fine arts course - something you had always wanted to do. Which also explained while you were living at home at the moment. “You should come by the garage for lunch someday, it's only a block or two away” Anakin speaks, “might be able to teach you a thing or two.” You roll your eyes playfully, “and get covered in grease? Yeah, no thanks.”

Anakin fakes offensive before laughing it off. You continue eating your meal while your father starts talking about engines or something you don't completely understand. You try to focus on the conversation, but find it hard with Anakin right next to you. You can basically feel his laughter roll off him. You tell yourself off for thinking this way before getting up to put your plate in the dishwasher inside. Which is good timing as your father's work phone begins to ring loudly. He mouths a sorry before taking the call.

“I'll come help you kid” Anakin says as he gets up and follows you inside. You place your dishes in the washer before turning around to meet Anakin's gaze. You look away quickly, moving to dash off to your room. But you are quickly stopped by Anakin's hand wrapping around your wrist. “Where are you running off to sweetheart?” He laughs and you turn a shade of red that you didn't think was possible. “Sorry” you blurt out quickly. “Something is wrong, you acting off today” he states, not as a question. “It's just class, I'm stressed” you try to play it off. “Okay, want to show me your work, I'm not artist, but I'm sure I could at least try to help.”

You nod and move your head in the direction of the stairs which lead to your room. You begin to regret your decision when you reach your door. If he doesn't think of you as a child now, he was surely about to. Opening the door to your room you are greeted by posters of singers and objects that hold too much sentimental value for you to get rid of. Your CD player makes music fill the room, you must have forgotten to turn it off before going to eat.

He moves inside your room, looking at the walls. Even though you had known him for years, he had never been in this room, your sanctuary. He speaks before you do; “I know this artist” he mentions towards your CD player. “You know this?” You question. “I may be old but i'm not that old” he takes a moment before adding “and your dad mentioned you listened to them so I may have listened to a few albums” he shrugs. You let out a snort “I can't imagine you listening to this kind of music.'' He lets out a soft laugh before you hand him the piece you had been working in for school.

He takes a few seconds before he says “this is incredible, I knew you were good, but not this good” he looks at you as he compliments your work. “Oh thanks” is all you manage to reply. “Do you have any more I can see?” “Sure” you turn around to rummage through the pile of half done works on your desk. When you run around you almost jump out of your skin.

Anakin holds a small book in his hands. Your diary to be exact. You must have forgotten to put it back in its hiding spot. You try to take it from his hands but he doesn't let you. “Anakin please.” You beg him to give it up and back into your rightful hands.

After a few moments he places the book down on your bed gently before making eye contact with you. You immediately look away, embarrassed. Anakin either just read about a normal day or knows about your silly little schoolgirl crush on him. Guessing by his next action you guess the second option.

He takes your face between his large rough hands, tough from years of work. You can smell his cologne as he moves his thumb against your cheek gently, like you might break. “Oh sweetheart” he tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I guessed but couldn't know for sure, '' he continued. “Your dad would kill me if he knew how I felt about his precious daughter” you blink at him confused. He seems to think for a split second before speaking; “fuck it, I like you” breath, “and I know I shouldn't” he acts before you can think. Leaning down and pulling you toward him, placing his lips on yours.

You swear you feel fireworks erupt in your gut as he kisses you. You pull apart, breathing heavily. Anakin gives your hip a squeeze, “I should go before your dad starts to wonder.” Normally the mention of your father would cause feelings of guilt but you are still starstruck. Your only reply is a nod before he removes his hands from you. “Hey come by the garage tomorrow, okay?” Another nod from you. He moves to the door, shooting you a winning smile before he is gone.

You can't tell if that was the best or worst thing to happen to you. If one Thing was certain, Anakin Skywalker would not be leaving your mind anytime soon.

#star wars #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #revenge of the sith #the clone wars #dbf!anakin

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feelbokkie · 8 months

Text

Things SKZ does when you're pregnant

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: just cute things skz would do while you are pregnant

pairing: bf!skz x reader with a uterus

warnings: swearing

word count: 1,021 (unedited)

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

Plays Music for Your Bump

he bought one of those headphone sets that you can use to put on baby bumps the second he found out they existed

it's basically a Channie's room (rip Channie's room)

he's prescreening all the songs beforehand though

got to make sure they're baby appropriate

plays a few skz songs

red lights and drive are hard passes

plays a wide variety of music

he's trying to create a musical genius at this point

with his genes, it's very much possible that this might happen

takes the baby's suggestions every seriously

"The baby kicked," "They must really love this song," "Or they hate it," "...Hey, if you like the song, kick. If you hate the song, stay still!" "Chan, don't confuse the child." "Hey, maybe they're a dancer like their uncles."

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho)

Making All of the Food You're Craving

yes, even the bat shit insane ones like pickles and peanut butter

he knows that it's 50% his fault that you're hungry and want specific things and that you're doing 100% of the work so the least he could do was make you what you and the parasite baby want to eat

the first time he did it, you were talking to yourself about something you were craving, not thinking he was paying attention

you were debating if you should order it or go out and buy some and take it home

he immediately went into the kitchen and made it without a second thought once he realized that you were probably craving it because of the baby

he came back some time later and just placed the food in your lap

you legit cried

blame the hormones

one time you asked him directly make you something and he jokingly said no

you cried again and he felt so bad that he made it and got your favorite dessert

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin)

Lifts Your Bump

definitely feels guilty and responsible for you being in this situation

i mean he partly is to blame but you were there too

so he will constantly just come up behind you and lift up your bump to get your back a break

and he'll stay there for a while

and if you two go to the beach for whatever reason, the first thing he's doing is digging a bump shaped hole so you can lay on your stomach comfortably

buys that bump comfort tape and helps you tape your stomach to give you some relief throughout the day while he's out working

did research to make sure he was doing it safely of course, he doesn't want to hurt you or the baby

helps you do some exercises and stretches to ease your pain too

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin)

Paints You and Your Bump

the second he found out that you were pregnant, he got several ideas of things to paint on your stomach

started earlier than he probably should have

but when you started getting bigger and more self-conscious, he decided to paint a portrait of you and your bump

and he makes you look like some sort of angel or divine being

you almost don't believe that he painted you

hangs it where he knows you'll see it often

greatly boosts your confidence

will also play on it constantly

"how are my muses doing today?"

also paints a mural in the baby's room in his free time because he can

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung)

Tells Your Bump Stories

more specifically, he's giving the baby a detailed play-by-play of whatever show he's currently watching

you bought one of those mics you can attach to your stomach so you could talk to the baby and it is almost always in his hands

"...and their dad is kind of an asshole--you don't have to worry about that, your dad is cool as fuck" "Jisung, language," "if we normalize swearing when they're young, we won't have to worry about them having the mouth of a sailor like Felix. I read it in a book" "...I don't think they mean while the baby is still in the womb,"

reads them them manga too

if he's watching tv and you're sitting next to him, he's pulling out the mic and narrating everything that's on the screen

will sing every once in a while, have to prepare the baby for the rest of their life now so they're not shocked once they're born

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok)

Massages and Foot Rubs

he massages you and gives you foot rubs anyway, especially if you ask for them

but when you told him you were pregnant, one of the first things he did was research how to safely massage you

secretly practiced on the boys so he wouldn't hurt you or the baby until he was confident enough to massage you

still was nervous to actually massage you

rubs your feet more often than the rest of you because it's safer

once you're towards the end of your pregnancy and increasingly uncomfortable from all the added weight you're carrying, he gets over his fears and massages you to give you some relief

Will cuddle you after too while resting his head on your bump

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min)

Talking and Singing to Your Bump

this man has been talking to his baby the second he learned that their ears are fully developed

and he's talking to them like a normal person, not baby talk

full conversations too

he'll come home for a long day of work and come tell both of you about his day

often comes and lays his head on your bump and sings to it

just little songs mostly

also sang songs in his JYP voice because why not

whenever you express discomfort, he is lecturing the poor unborn child

"Seungmin, they're not even born yet." "Y/n, please, I am having a private conversation." "Sorry, my bad."

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In)

Weekly Progress Shots with Your Bump

mostly, he's having fun taking pictures of how much you're growing each month

every week without fail he is pulling out the camera and harassing you to take the picture

will style you and get props so you can have fun with it

one of the more common props is whatever food item the baby is the same size as

makes a video with all of the pictures and finishes it with the last photo of you holding the baby where the bump was

he's already planning the baby's month photoshoots

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Permanent Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

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swampstew · 2 months

Text

Really Really

Breaking news: local cryptid @quinloki was found guilty of leaving tasty treats in my ask box. Feeding the thot after midnight. I let the whoremone monster out and it was feeling some type of way♥

Man worth 3 billion berri is still a virgin, so I threw him in the blender. Warnings: spicy; post-time skip Eustass Kid x AFAB Reader; it doesn't go all the way in :) WC: 1.2K

inspired by this gif

Impatient.

Not a word typically used to describe yourself but after six long months aboard the Victoria Punk, the fierce Captain Kid had once again overlooked your playful flirting as he stormed to his workshop; a hint of red on the tips of his ears were the only sign he’d heard what you said.

You weren’t sure what his deal was – you’d never seen him hook up, not with anyone on the crew and not with anyone on islands the crew landed at. Sure he’d go into strip clubs or make out with random people at the bar from time to time but not once had you seen him spend the night off ship. Or seen a one-night stand stumble from his cabin.

It was puzzling.

A devilishly handsome, well-toned man like him had women and men swooning over him, flirting and spoiling him with compliments, drinks, and food to gain his favor. Kid didn’t always accept the tokens and he almost never accepted them from you. Food and drinks yes but flirting? Almost like it went over his spiked hair; a blush, smirk or scowl the only response he gave you.

It made you…desperate.

Was he really that disinterested or was there something else?

Someone else?

So you did what any rational person could do – you got Killer drunk and tried to weasel out information. But the son of a bitch was like a sealed vault, refused to give up anything about his best friend. And he teased you for it.

“D-you like him or something?” the blonde finally asked.

“I—” you stuttered, “I’m just wondering why! Does he not like sex or?”

Killer didn’t answer right away, swirling his cup before taking a contemplative sip from his straw. “It’s not that, so much as…” he took another sip, “He prioritizes his ambitions and dreams. That’s all.”

“What does that have to do with fucking?”

“Absolutely nothing. He just hasn’t.”

“…Hasn’t? As in had sex?”

Killer shrugged, neither confirming nor denying. That stunned you into silence.

“Really? A guy like him??”

“If you’re so interested in finding out – you should ask him yourself.”

“I’ve tried! I flirt with him, wear revealing clothes, he usually ignores me!”

Killer began coughing, putting his drink aside as he shuddered between suppressing laughter and trying to breathe.

“F-ff-ff- ahh no he doesn’t. He just pretends to.”

“WHAT?!”

“He’s not an idiot, he knows what you’re doing. But he won’t do anything about it since you’re his responsibility; unless you were to, well, be aggressively transparent.” With that, Killer left you alone in the galley.

Transparency.

And Kid’s known the whole damn time and not even acknowledged it. That was frustrating. So much so you decided to try again the next day and be as blunt as possible.

You knew his schedule by heart, you skipped breakfast to hide in his workshop. Wearing a short skirt and oversized sweater, you took a pair of scissors and got creative. Carefully snipping away at the fabric, you cut away at your outfit to expose your bra and panties, not quite getting naked, enough to be as blunt as possible about your intentions.

The sound of thudding boots growing closer suddenly made you nervous but you swallowed your anxiety and snipped the strap of your bra before tossing the scissors and turned away from the door.

“The hell are you doing in here? Why weren’t you at breakfast?" stunned to find you in his sanctuary, a place he expressly forbade anyone from.

You turned your head to the side with a pout on your face, “Didn’t want to eat. I want something else.”

Slamming the door shut, Kid removed his coat and threw it on the table before roughly grabbing your shoulder to face him. His face turned bright red as his golden eyes traveled up and down your body. Studying the way the slit up your skirt gave him a view of your panties, the way your breast threatened to spill over the edge of the cup of the destroyed bra.

You heard his breath sharply release from his lips, “What the…the fuck happened to you?”

You narrowed your eyes, “You did. This is what you’ve driven me to.”

He backed away from you with shock and surprise on his face, “I did what?!”

“I want to fuck you,” you walked towards him, hips, thighs, and breasts jiggling with each step, “I’ve tried flirting with you, dropped hints, given you a share of my loot, and literally hand fed you and you’ve NEVER reciprocated in any manner. So, is it me? Do you find me atrocious? Unfuckable?” your voice became gravelly from the internalized resentment and embarrassment you felt from the efforts you’d put in all this time. “Please, tell me. It’s killing me. If you don’t want me, I’ll stop. But just say something. Am I making a fool of myself for wanting you?”

Kid’s back hit the door, eyes wide as he listened to your rant, “I-wha-no! It’s not you, it’s…”

You stopped a few feet from him, so desperate to hear his answer. You could see the bulge outline in his pants.

“FUCK!” he snarled, smacking his own face to cover his flushed expression, fingers digging into his skin until deep red crescents marked him. “I’ve never had sex!” he finally confessed.

“Really?” you asked, not at all expecting that response. “But…why not? You’re hot as fuck!”

“I JUST HAVEN’T OKAY?!” he lashed out, making you step back from him, a little intimidated by his embarrassed rage. “I’ve got more important shit to do than fuck around and spawn a bunch of bastards,” he spat through grit teeth.

“…Condoms exist…”

“I KNOW THAT!”

Your hip clipped the table’s edge and you stumbled backwards. Before you fell, Kid grabbed your arm and pulled you up, in doing so you fell right into his bare chest. You could feel the goosebumps ripple across both your bodies from the touch but he didn’t move away.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, a bit ashamed from the confrontation, “I just needed to know if you found me attractive, at all. I’ll leave you alone.”

Still holding on to you he barked out, “Have you fucking seen yourself? Who wouldn’t be into you?!”

“Well, you? Considering you keep blowing me off,” you mumbled.

That made him laugh, “REALLY? Shit and here I thought I was being a decent Captain by not sleeping with my subordinates.”

“Really? You parroted in shock, that was surprisingly mature and unexpected. “But I’ve never seen you fuck around with anyone so I just thought—”

“Does this seem like I’m not interested?” he huffed, using his metal arm to grab your waist and pull you into him. Felt his erection against your lower belly. “Fuck me for trynna do the right thing.”

He made you walk backwards, still pressing his body into yours, “I get hard every day just looking at you. When you say cheeky shit, I have to come here and jerk off so I can fucking think clearly. You’re my biggest distraction but—” his hand ghosted up your arm to caress your cheek with surprising gentleness, “—I’ve never not been attracted to you.”

“Oh,” you hummed, still as stone to preserve the moment.

With a click of his tongue, Kid grabbed your chin and planted a wet kiss on you.

Your eyes were crossed from the feeling, lost in a haze as you felt him swing your body around until you were pushed back on top of his coat. The withdrawal of his touch brought you to reality, mouth gaping as he stood in front of you but did not initiate further contact.

“Show me what you like,” he rasped out. “Touch yourself. Teach me what to do.”

#eustass kid #what would you teach him first?#dont feed the thot after midnight #she turns into a whoremone monster #swampstew bedtime stories #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid x you #eustasscaptainkid #quinloki #sorry for being a tease though #my brain melted #in a good way

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cupids-archives · 3 months

Note

Hi , can you make some headcanons for yandere sun wukong??

━━━━━━━━𖥔 ࣪ yandere sun wukong head canons ₊˚♱ ━━━━━ ₊˚♱ contains: dark content, slight nsfw, and mentions of pain and kidnapping.

━━━ BEFORE ｡･:*:･ﾟ

━ ☆: theres many different ways you can meet him, and I’d prefer to leave that up to the reader.

━ ☆: no matter what, he’d be absolutely obsessed with you from the beginning, whether he saved you, your friends with mk, or showed as a gift on his doorstep.

━ ☆: he’d secretly follow you at first, going to your job or sneaking into your house just to watch you do daily chores.

━ ☆: he’s be almost confused at first, sure he’s had lovers in the past but never ones like you. he’s never had such a urge to protect someone, to kill for someone.

━ ☆: he would try to involve himself in your daily life, maybe mk is around your age and he would set you guys up just for him to be around you more.

━ ☆: he’ll feel guilty sometimes, coming into your room without your consent and maybe even stealing some of your clothes. panties.

━ ☆: adores you even though all of your conversations have been incredibly awkward, he still adores your voice.

━ ☆: though he had lots of guilt, his desperation kicked in and once saved you from an attack that he staged.

━ ☆: you almost jumped to give him a hug, and he got inhale the smell of your perfume and lotion and though you were thankful the hug when on longer than expected.

━ ☆: that’s when you guys start to officially talk, even considering each other friends he considers you the love of his life, is when he finally gets to truly know you and oh does he love you.

━━━ KIDNAPPING ｡･:*:･ﾟ

━ ☆: he will only kidnap you if he thinks your about to get hurt, you find someone else or, he got really fucking desperate.

━ ☆: if he does it because he thinks your going to get hurt, than he’ll do it immediately. picking you preferably while your sleeping, it would be very easy for wukong to break inside your house using his powers . If you were to wake up he would hate to hurt you, and would try to calm you down but if he has to he will knock you out.

━ ☆: will absolutely hate it if you started dating some else, even though wukong is very confused about his emotions, he knows he loves you and that he’s the only person who can protect you.

━ ☆: he’ll try to wait to kidnap you, his morals still coming in clutch. but as soon as his stalking leads him to seeing you in intimate or romantic positions. he’ll start forming his plan but unlike the first one will be must more quick and less strategic.

━ ☆: he’ll take you probably in the night. knowing that he shouldn’t but hoping that your boyfriends here, he’ll either swoop you away while your sleeping again, but this time your boyfriend wouldn’t walk away unharmed, Or he will use it as an tool later, threatening to kill or harm him later in your relationship.

━━━ LIFE ｡･:*:･ﾟ

━ ☆: your life with wukong will definitely be very strange. he’ll try to make it seem like everything is normal when it’s obviously not.

━ ☆: when you first get kidnapped, you’ll be showered with love, presents and, so much food.

━ ☆:he’ll explain the situation. stating how it’s only for your best interest and you should know that he’ll never hurt you.

━ ☆: wukong will seem very ecstatic, he we won’t tie you up but when you do something a little of bounds will give you a warning. knows that it’s impossible for you to leave but still gets hurt if you try.

━ ☆: hunger striking doesn’t work, the only time he will get angry with you is if your health is endangered. he will forcefully tie you down either with magic or with ropes and force you to eat.

━ ☆: once he starts to get comfortable is the more clingy and touchy he becomes. whenever hes home, he’ll beg to be on laying with you. sometimes when’s he back from long trips you spend days with him laying on top with you covered with food and heavy blankets.

━ ☆: before however, of course you’re going to be fucked throughly, sure his words are soft and sweet but not his thrusts. he’ll keep your wrists tied above your head and will kiss away your tears.

━ ☆: he’s just incredibly sweet to you, but sometimes he can get incredibly jealous mentioning any man will get you a severe punishment.

━━━ PUNISHMENTS ｡･:*:･ﾟ

━ ☆: punishments range a lot with wukong, he even hates to call them that because he thinks that word is too severe.

━ ☆: depending on the situation it can range from, painful, mental pain, sexual, or someone else getting involved.

━ ☆: firstly sexual because it’s for less severe punishments. he’ll give you sexual punishments only if you deny him or if you deny him loving your or vise versa.

━ ☆: it’ll include long edging, his tounge wrapped around your clit just until your on the brink and slipping off to wait a few more minutes and getting back at it again.

━ ☆: or he’ll actually have sex with you with it’s the more painful option, not stopping and overstimulating you until your a leaking and crying mess. not being able to get any satisfaction.

━ ☆: someone else getting involved is next, he’ll be quick to do this after you get him very mad, or threaten him with something in which in retaliation will threaten someone in return.

━ ☆: this person may be your boyfriend, a personal friend, or even a sibling or a parent.

━ ☆: he’ll be a bit hesitant to kill a family member though, of course he wants to put you in your place but he doesn’t want you to hate him.

━ ☆: an old boyfriend however is completely on the table, in fact he’s been wanting an excuse to kill him. he’ll even bring the head back to you waving it in your face as he chuckles at your horrified expression. “this is only for the best, for us”, he says watching as you cry out.

━ ☆: and mental pain coming from just the sheer thought that he could’ve already killed your entire family and you’d be none the wiser. having to live with the fear that you might be sleeping with the man whose killed everyone you’ve ever loved.

━ ☆: and lastly pain. he will only hurt you if you tried to escape him. hurting him will get you less of a punishment than trying to escape.

━ ☆: as soon as he catches you and your safe at home, he’ll be very calm, might even joke and laugh a bit, but as soon as you feel safe, that’s when he’ll attack.

━ ☆: he would most likely break an ankle or an arm, whatever makes it the hardest to even try to escape.

━ ☆: he will do it in a very traumatic way as well, making sure that not only the pain but the experience will cause you to never try that again.

OVERALL

in general sun wukong will be a very nice and soft yandere to have. he’ll keep you safe, feed you well, and would only truly harm you if you do something that could hurt you. still having someone who is compared to a god, probably not the funniest mentality. 7/10

requests are open !!! format heavily inspired by @depravitycentral :)

#cupid 🪽 ៹ ࣪#₊˚♱ nasty ₊˚♱#₊˚♱ yandere ₊˚♱#₊˚♱ lego monkie kid ₊˚♱#₊˚♱ sun wukong ₊˚♱#sun wukong smut #lego monkie kid smut #lego monkie kid x reader #lego monkie kid #sun wukong x reader

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jasmines-library · 3 months

Note

I just discovered your blog yesterday and I am INHALING your work! I love your writing, it feels like a movie being played in my head. Oh and the ANGST - JUST ajfhahaskh *Screaming in my pillow rn*.Would you be willing to write a second part of the self harm batfam x reader fic?

~ 🦑

Save Me When I Drown

I'm so glad you like my work hearing that means so much to me. as requested, here is a part 2; sorry it took me a billion years to get to it.

Part 1: Catch Me if I Fall

Warnings: Very nearly self harm, depressive thoughts, relapse. Please read with caution.

Word count: 1.3K

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

Things had been getting better. Slowly but surely they had. It was a slow process, that of course had not been easy. There were days where you felt like you could run a hundred miles, but there were also days where you couldn’t bring yourself to move. When the urge became too much. And although your brothers were there to help you… today was one of those days.

The five of you were gathered around the table. Eating together at least once a week had become a tradition, and each of your brothers made a big effort to attend them, though it was rare to make it this far into the meal without being interrupted by Gotham’s infamous residents. And you were trying so hard to keep focused; to enjoy Alfred’s cooking as it melted on your tongue but you just couldn’t. And you hated yourself for it.

You had to keep your eyes on your plate as you pushed your food aimlessly around the china. Your appetite had gone nearly as soon as you sat down, but you couldn’t look up because you knew as soon as you did you would feel guilty again. Dick sat across from you. A dark bruise had blossomed over his skin, turning it dark shades of maroon and indigo. He had a small laceration on his cheek below the bruise over his eye. It hadn’t needed stitches, but the sight still made you grimace. Beside him, Damian was also bloodied. They were all injured in some way. A stitch here, a sprain there.

You should have been bothered by them. Injuries were a given in your line of work. But the thing that was tipping you over the edge was the fact that you were completely unscathed. There wasn’t a single hair on your head that was out of place. And it made your skin crawl. The five of them had run into a bit of a predicament with Bane; a particularly grisly fight that had ended with the majority of them spending a day or two on bedrest or in the infirmary.

You should have been there. You should have been helping them but instead you were sitting in the safety of the manor, watching them on the monitors. Guilt washed over you like an ocean drowning you in your own thoughts. If only you had been quicker to direct them. If only you had pushed Bruce more to let you help out. Surely with an extra pair of hands the risk of injury would have been lowered. You would have had to ask Tim for the exact statistics, but you were sure enough that it would have made a difference.

Bouncing your thigh leg up and down, you felt as though your skin was burning. Itching. As those thoughts weaselled their way back into your conscience. You picked at the skin around your thumb. Sometimes that helped the urge. But not this time. You had been too slow. Again. Everything was your fault and-

“Y/N?” It was Dick’s voice that broke you out of your trance. It was gentle and he reached out to place a hand on your restless leg under the table. He was ever the observer. The way he looked at you made you want to cry like a fragile child. Soft blue eyes downturned as he raised his eyebrow a fraction with the tilt of his head. “Are you alright?”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell him everything. But you kept it bottled up. You didn’t want them to pity you. Besides, you were getting better. That was what you had told yourself. That is what had been happening and it made you so frustrated that you were beginning to feel this way again.

“Y/N?” Someone else called your name again with the same solemn tone when you refused to reply. You didn’t register who it was because your head was too foggy. Frankly, you didn’t care. You needed to leave.

“ ‘scuse me.” Scraping your chair against the floor, you abandoned your food and made a beeline for the exit.

You think someone called after you, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the thumping of your heart as you hounded up the stairs and into your room. Shutting the door rather too harshly and locking it behind you, you sank to your knees. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as your mask fell and you slumped against the ground. You felt so stupid. You were supposed to be getting better. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. You were supposed to be fine and you were supposed to be downstairs eating with the others. God, that made you feel even worse. You sank a little deeper into that ocean of thoughts. They had all made such an effort to be there and you had just fled like a child to their mother.

Do it. Your mind was barking orders at you again. Old ones that you had fought so hard to forget.

Restlessly you pushed yourself up and made your way over to your closet. Shakily you dug through the draws until your fingers wrapped around the frayed leather. Silent, you turned it over in your palms. Your whole body seemed to tremble as you moved to perch on the edge of the bed.

Someone was knocking on the door. You could hear them on the other side begging to be let in. begging for you to just answer them.

You placed the blade against your skin and screwed your eyes up tight. The silver was cool against your skin.

“Little Bat…please open the door.” Bruce had never sounded more vulnerable as he stood helplessly outside the door. You could almost picture his face: eyebrows downturned and eyes wide as he waited anxiously for you to either open the door or from Tim to return with the spare key to your room. Just in case.

Trembling, your whole body was wracked by waves of tears each one gripped you tight and was accompanied by a thousand thoughts trying to burn away at the surface of your skin. Your eyes flickered to the knife. One swipe and it would all be gone. One swipe and you would get what you felt like you deserved. But then Bruce’s voice broke through the door.

“I know you’re scared, Kiddo.”

Your head snapped toward the door. You paused with a shuddering breath.

“And that’s okay. That’s normal.” He continued. “I get scared too. We all do.”

At that moment you knew that your brothers were standing behind the door too, waiting with anxious anticipation that made their fingertips itch. You heard a shuffling, and then Jason’s voice came, muffled by the door. You weren’t entirely sure if he was planning to break it down or not, but his voice was calm.

“Please open the door Little Wing…” Jason pleaded. “...We love you…and we’re scared.”

And you broke. The dagger clattered to the floor with another bout of tears and you unlocked the door.

Bruce wrapped you up in his arms the second the door was wide enough to reveal you. He let out a heavy sigh of relief.

“S-sorry…” You spluttered. “I’m sorry…”

“Shh.” He cupped the back of your head with his hand and you felt one of your brothers place a hand on your shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Little Wing. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“But I-”

“Shh.” Tim hushed. “It’s okay.”

“I thought I was getting better.” You sniffled.

Damian frowned. “You are. And we are so proud of how for you have come, sister. This is part of the process, Little Wing.”

“You’ve come so far, Kid.” Dick told you. “And we’re sorry that we didn’t notice how you were feeling until now. But it’s okay, because healing isn’t a linear process. And we’re going to be there with you every step of the way. Through the good and the bad just like we promised.”

You nodded.

“This is just one of the bad days, Wing.” Tim hummed. “Things will get better, I promise.”

“And we will love you the entire way.”

Taglist:

@aestheticdaisies

@hell-o-kittys

@xxrougefangxx

@mamapucket

@hearts4robs

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angellesword · 5 months

Text

It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) | JJK (PART 2)

At thirty-two, you thought you had your life figured out. That is until you received a call one day:

"You need to go to Gangwon Police Station now. There are two people here: One thirty-something male claiming to be your husband, and the other is a three-year-old girl claiming to be your daughter. They say they won't leave unless you, the mom of the family, pick them up."

Or alternatively,

a series of events where you fall in love with Jungkook, become a mom, solve your dead best friend's case, and wriggle out of old money's grasp, but not necessarily in this order. (Maybe all at once. Who knows?)

Genre and warnings: enemies to lovers, idiots in love, mutual pining, OMG there is only one bed, forced proximity, cohabitating, enemies to friends to lovers, co-parenting, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, car accidents, law, this fic is originally written as an AOT au, but i've changed it to a JJK one, so please pardon any Japanese terms mentioned (they're not too relevant anyway) some of the characters are from aot too. i'm too lazy to change them haha

Pairing: Police Lieutenant! Jungkook x Lawyer!!Reader

PART 1 HERE

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

You thought kissing Jungkook felt like coming home. Unfortunately, you never had one.If you did, it was only temporary, and the house was not yours.

You were just leasing it.

After the trip, you and Jungkook did not dare talk about what happened in the mountain. You ignored his attempt at a dialogue and made an excuse that you were busy with work.

Younger Jungkook would have exploded, but he was from that or even from the Jungkook you knew last month. He grew to be more understanding and less provoking.

Admittedly, he felt guilty for kissing you. Because as much as he painfullycraved it, he couldn't say the same thing for you.

If you liked it, then why were you hiding from him? Why were you going back and forth to Busan and Seoul these days?

Why were you...leaving him again?

"Where are you going?" Jungkook's eyes twitched when he saw you carrying a big bag. It had been two weeks since the family trip ended. He knew it was unfair of him to demand you move onif you truly hated it, but seeing you go as far as leaving him and Hanni behind made him feel dejected.

"Just out." You replied curtly, not bothering to look at him while you put on your sneakers. Jungkook's first instinct was to go near you and help you tie your shoelace. You were already this old, yet you still couldn't wear your shoes properly.

"Will you be back soon?" Jungkook stayed rooted in his spot; his puppy eyes went unnoticed by you.

"Not sure yet. You'll pick up Hanni from the daycare, right? Then, I'll leave everything to you. Bye." You were out of the door before Jungkook could reply to you. You did not lie to him this time. You were unsure as to what time you'd be back.

You were going to the Jeon's residence today. Jungkook's mother had been cajoling you to visit her. She said it would be better if you went alone since bringing Jungkook with you would just ruin her mood. Jungkook never gave his mother a breather. He always dissuaded her from eating the food she liked and moving around the house a lot. He said she should sit prettily on the couch and not worry about anything. How was that even possible? Jungkook's mother disliked being idle, so she told you to bring a big bag as she intended to pick some produce with you in her garden.

The drive to Jeon's residence took fifteen minutes. You deliberated going to your family's house first, but you remembered no one lived there anymore. Your parents had long since migrated abroad.

Besides, you'd rather deal with a bubbly lady than your easily irritated mother. Mrs. Jeon welcomed you happily.

"Daughter-in-law!" The old woman excitedly raised her arms to embrace you. You flashed a smile at Mrs. Jeon, crouching down so you could hug her.

Mrs. Jeon was in a wheelchair. She had a hard time walking after her leg surgery years ago. This was why Jungkook still lived with his mother despite being in his early thirties. He was simply being a filial son. He didn't trust his father to be responsible enough to care for his sickly mother.

But things changed when Sora died. Mrs. Jeon convinced Jungkook to move in with you. She said she could handle herself and even agreed to have a caregiver look after her. Mrs. Jeon liked you since you were a child. She said you were the only one who could keep Jungkook grounded.You never really understood what she meant by this. You didn't ask, either. One of the perks of this was that you and Jungkook didn't have a hard time explaining your fake romantic engagement to her. Mrs. Jeon had been calling you daughter-in-lawas long as you could remember. For her, what you and Jungkook had was real. She wouldn't believe otherwise.

"Hi, mum." You humored the old lady. Her smile stretched when you called her mother. She peppered your cheeks with kisses.

"Perfect timing! Frieda and Kiyomi just left. The soup I made is still hot. Come, I'll ladle some for you." Mrs. Jeon pushed the wheelchair herself. You quickly caught up to her and helped.

"The social workers have visited you already?" You were shocked. Frieda called you to ask for Mrs. Jeon's phone number. She said she and Kiyomi would visit Jungkook's mother next week. Admittedly, this was why you went to the Jeon residence today. You wanted to brief Mrs. Jeon on what she could and could not say to the social workers. You never thought Frieda would not keep her word. Damn it.

"Yes. They're such lovely people. Don't worry, my girl. I'm very obedient. I didn't say anything bad against you and my son. I love my granddaughter, too. I want her to be happy." Sora and Mrs. Jeon were close to each other—probably because of their love for food. Mrs. Jeon often visited the Kang restaurant. She particularly loved seafood, so Jungkook often had to plead with Niccolo not to serve lobsters to his mom.

"As expected of my mother-in-law." You beamed, "Can you tell me what happened during their visit?"

Mrs. Jeon happily indulged you while you drank soup and ate other dishes. You were having a taste test to know what Jungkook and Hanni would like.

"How are you and my son, by the way? When is the wedding?" Mrs. Jeon looked at you fondly; guilt shot at your heart.

It was difficult to lie to her. How were you supposed to say that you were actively avoiding Jungkook? That looking at her son made you so anxious you wanted to vomit? Were you supposed to say you were scared of fucking things up that you'd rather act coldly to Jungkook? That you'd rather ruin something that hadn't even started?

The past two weeks had been nothing but torture for Jungkook. You snapped at him every time you two crossed paths.

It was as if you were back to your old self, crawling back to your hard shell and painting your walls blue.

Jungkook was frustrated, but all he could do was swallow his pride because this was his fault.He thought he ignored your boundaries just cause he felt the moment was right, so all he could do now was look at you pathetically like a damn dog gaining back its master's favor.

The day after the trip was the worst. You did not go home for two days, granted that it was for a business trip, but you were being too dodgy. You wouldn't talk to Jungkook and only say a few things if Hanni was on the other line.

Jungkook tried snatching the phone from Hanni. However, you instantly ended the call when his face resurfaced on the phone screen.

When you cooked food for them, you only cooked vegetables. There were barely any sweets, and it's making Hanni agitated. Jungkook couldn't do anything but swallow a spoonful of goya champuru. Blegh! Too bitter!

The weekend was Jungkook's breaking point. Hanni was out with her Uncle Taehyung for two days. The social workers didn't restrict who the kid could spend her weekends with. Besides, Taehyung was trustworthy. Jungkook's heart was at ease knowing that Taehyung was dating Jimin Park. Hanni was in good hands for the weekend.

All Jungkook had to worry about was you. Saturday morning was the first red flag. Jungkook spotted a bouquet of roses on the doorstep.

He immediately assumed it was the same person who gave you those damn baby breaths. Worse? You displayed it on the center table!

Jungkook sulked so badly you could practically taste his bitterness in your mouth. His daisies were ignored! Jungkook did not dare replace the roses with daisies because of how piercing your glare was.

On that same Saturday night, Jungkook felt like crying. You were wearing a sparkly black dress that made your skin pop. You had your red lips on. He almost had a mental breakdown looking at your lips.

He couldn't help but ask where you were going.

"Date." You replied impassively.

It was over for Jungkook. You were probably going out with the person who gave you the roses!

Jungkook waited for you to go home that Saturday night, but you did not. The bags under his eyes were dark and heavy—you almost flinched when you saw him on Sunday. Jungkook was so embarrassed and pissed that he didn't go out the whole day.

In the following days, Jungkook observed that you were always on your phone. He instantly assumed you were giggling while texting with your date.

Perhaps you're meeting with him now? Would you go to Seoul? Was that the reason you had your big bag?

In reality, your big bag was now full of food. Mrs. Jeon made a week's worth of food for you, Jungkook, and Hanni. You two hadn't even gone to the garden yet. You guessed she was over the moon after you told her you and Jungkook were doing better.

It was a white lie, alright? You couldn't bear breaking this old woman's heart.

"This is everything I cooked. Now, come. Let's go to my garden and get you some vegetables. Hanni loves mashed potatoes. I happen to have a lot of potatoes today." Mrs. Jeon wheeled her wheelchair to the garden.

You followed her with a huge smile on your face. Who would have thought food could make you this happy?

Or maybe the thought of cooking for your loved ones was what made you happy.

"Forgive your useless mother-in-law." Mrs. Jeon was apologetic as she watched you pick vegetables all by yourself. She couldn't crouch down as it would only hurt her leg. The old woman sounded solemn. At this point of your life, you understood that you didn't always have to speak up or refute someone's statement—even when they're being pessimistic about themselves. Sometimes, they were only ranting for the sake of it.They just needed someone to listento them because it was not like they didn't know their situation. They were the ones who had problems.You couldn't always offer them solutions because, almost 100% of the time, they had most likely thought of what you thought.

Truth be told, Mrs. Jeon sighed at your silence and felt more at ease to voice out her feelings, "I've been a burden to my husband and my Jungkook-boy since my leg has become useless. Sometimes, I wish the heavens would have mercy and just take me away."

This was something you couldn't tolerate. You stopped picking vegetables to grab Mrs. Jeon's hand. Your grip was tight.

"It's just hard, you know?" Mrs. Jeon gripped your hand, too. She lovingly stroked your fingers like Jungkook did when you couldn't sleep. "I'm the mother of our family, but I've become like a child. I find it hard to bathe myself; I can't control my food, and my leg always hurts. Jungkook couldn't find a wife because he feels the need to take care of me."

You couldn't speak about Mrs. Jeon's pain, but you could talk about the truth about Jungkook. You stared at the old lady and said, "I don't think Jungkook minds. He loves you a lot."

He really did. Jungkook would rather swallow the embarrassment of being called a mama's boyif it meant his mother was happy and healthy. Mrs. Jeon knew this as well. Tears welled up in her eyes. She sobbed imperceptibly.

"He does, doesn't he? My Jungkook is such a good boy. I was so scared when the doctors told me I needed to get surgery. They said it will leave a big scar."

Mrs. Jeon was wearing a long, thick dress since her leg was sensitive to the cold, but she held the hem of her dress as if she wanted to raise it and show you something.

"I cried for days. Jungkook-boy comforted me, but I was inconsolable. My leg will be a reminder of my hardship. I don't want that."

Don't we all? The voice inside your head answered. You had scars, too. It was just that yours was not visible to the eyes—your heart was scarred and battered. People might laugh if you told them your greatest heartbreak was law school, as it would appear insignificant compared to life-threatening problems, but that's the thing. Your pain only seemed irrelevant because they were comparingit to something else.No one saw you shedding tears and losing sleep and dignity whenever your professors threw hurtful words to crush your confidence.

"My surgery went well, but the pain I felt did not get any better. I hated looking at my scars. Until one day..." Mrs. Jeon was hit with a wave of memories. The corner of her mouth twitched. She raised the hem of her dress.

Your breathing hitched as you saw her leg. It was covered with colorful stars. They were tattooed on her skin perfectly.

"It's pretty," your eyes glistened with amazement. You asked Mrs. Jeon if you could trace the stars with your fingers. She happily agreed.

"It was Jungkook's idea. That boy is really thoughtful." Mrs. Jeon saw that Jungkook was affected by her pain. Jungkook was so down he could barely think, but one day, Jungkook went home with a smile on his face. He was humming an unfamiliar song. Mrs. Jeon asked what got him vibrating with excitement.

“Someone sang a song for me. “Jungkook creased his eyes and crouched down. Without any more words, he exposed his newly tattooed skin to his mother.

"Jungkook-boy got a tattoo to convince me to get one myself. It's to show me it's not painful. It’s pretty; now I can look at my leg without crying."

Oh.

Your mind blanked for a moment. You tried to imagine Jungkook and where he could have gotten his tattoo. He was a police officer. He couldn't have had it tattooed somewhere visible to everyone.

Maybe he had one on his leg, too?

No. You had seen him wear shorts before. Perhaps he had it tattooed on his back?

You couldn't stop obsessing about Jungkook's tattoo as you and Mrs. Jeon roamed around her garden. Your second bag was almost full of produce. You told Mrs. Jeon you'd gotten enough for the month.

"That's good. Let's just roam around for a bit, okay? Fresh air is good."

You gave into the old woman's wish. Their garden was big. Your mouth went agape with how pretty the flowers were.

"Did you plant these yourself?" You plucked a small flora and placed it behind Mrs. Jeon's ear. She giggled.

"Yes, although Jungkook maintains them for me. He's a flower enthusiast himself. I'm convinced it's the flowers that he can't leave, not me." She chuckled, "Come, I'll show you his beloved flowers."

You walked for a few more meters before coming face to face with Jungkook's mini flower plantation.

"What do you think? Beautiful, isn't it?" Mrs. Jeon asked.

It took you a long time to respond. Your mouth had gone dry, and you felt like a lump was stuck in your throat. As a lawyer, nothing really surprised you anymore. You had dealt with pathological liars, brutal killers, and more.

But the thing before you shocked you to the core. Shivers ran through your spine while looking at Jungkook's flowers.

Daisies.

Jungkook had a daisy plantation. They're different colors, looking suspiciously like the ones he displayed on Sora's home daily.

Your legs weakened. You had to hold onto the wheelchair bar so you wouldn't fall. Suddenly, the past two weeks felt like a bad joke to you.

Your heart constricted, feeling your stomach drop, too.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Your face is pale." Jungkook's mom told you to crouch down so she could see your face properly. She saw the light trembling of your lips and your reddish eyes.

Mrs. Jeon felt like she was looking at your younger self. This was the same expression you wore when Jungkook told his parents and your parents that you had kicked him. This was the face you made when you felt you had fucked up.

"You can tell me what's bothering you." Her gentle voice made you want to cry. Looking at Jungkook's mother hit close to home. You had not thrown a tantrum in years, but as you faced this old woman, you thought it wouldn't be so bad if you screamed and kicked your feet out of frustration.

The frustration you felt for yourself as you continuously fuck everything up.

"Mum, what should I do?" You whispered like a lost lamb. Mrs. Jeon caressed your cheeks before holding your head to her lap.

"It's alright," she assured you. "You're allowed not to do anything. Come, let's get you something to eat first. There's nothing food can't solve."

You couldn't eat, though. You were just going to puke it since your stomach was still turning. And so the old woman diverted your mind to crocheting and playing music. When the sun had set, Mrs. Jeon insisted on feeding you again, but you told her you wanted to cook for your family, which seemed to do the trick.

Truthfully, Mrs. Jeon felt guilty feeding you a bunch of stuff while her son and grandchild were probably eating garbage.

"Alright, alright. I'll let you go now." Mrs. Jeon shooed you away after putting more food in your bag. "Drive safely. I'll see you soon, my pretty daughter-in-law!"

You hopped into your car and drove away. You had never been this excited to come back home.

***

The drive back to the Kang' residence felt like an eternity. You were itching to see Jungkook so much that you almost ran inside.

"Hi?" Jungkook was startled to see your panting face. He was having dinner alone when you suddenly emerged in the dining room.

"H-Hi." You greeted back; your breathing was still ragged.

Jungkook noticed the two big bags in your hands, his eyes dilating. He immediately waltzed to your direction and helped you carry them.

"Oh, damn. It's heavy. What the hell is all this?" Jungkook struggled to place the bags on the countertop. How did you manage to carry them all the way here?

Adrenaline.

Your mind had tricked you that you were in danger—like you were going to have a heart attack if you didn't see Jungkook now.

"They're from your mother." You ran out of lies, and frankly, you were tired of them.

"Oh?" Jungkook stood frozen for a second before inspecting the bags. He saw the familiar dishes his mother usually cooked.

All at once, Jungkook's heavy heart felt light. The stones had been lifted.

You were out all day visiting his beloved mother?

"She didn't want me to tell you. But don't worry," you waved your hand in dismissal, "We didn't eat lobster. She's fine."

Jungkook watched you suspiciously, but then your treacherous stomach suddenly growled. Instantly, Jungkook's lips curved into a smirk.

"You didn't eat lobster. Did you even eat at all?"

"Oh, shut up." You rolled your eyes on him.

It was good how you and Jungkook could immediately fall back to your old selves. You guessed Jungkook had long since touched your soul that fighting and making up didn't amount to much.

"Where's Hanni? Why are you eating alone?"

"Oh. She ate earlier. She's sleeping now. You know that kid well. She said she'll have more energy for her playdate with the Lee kids tomorrow if she sleeps now." Jungkook went back to the table. He was doing okay but suddenly became agitated as he opened a plastic bag of takeout food.

"I didn't know you were coming home tonight, so I only bought this for you." Jungkook brought out one oyster pail from the plastic.

The savory smell of your favorite Chinese food wafted in the room. Your stomach growled louder.

This time, you didn't shy away from the sound. Your mind was elsewhere—something more important:

Jungkook thought you weren't coming home, yet he still brought your favorite food.

The realization felt like a slap in the face. You almost lost your balance because of the impact of his actions.

This man was really...

"I'm sorry I didn't buy an extra portion of dumplings." Jungkook scratched the back of his neck, misunderstanding your silence. He honestly thought you were back to being mad because of dumplings.

Pain shot at your heart. Just how cruel were you to him these past two weeks that he thought he wasn't doing enough?

"It's okay. Thank you-u." You stuttered while trying to hide the pain in your voice. Jungkook watched as you sat on the chair, broke the chopsticks into two, and wordlessly ate your food.

Jungkook couldn't see your eyes as you ate with your head down. He sighed, and after watching you for a few more seconds, he sat down and ate with you.

The silence was deafening but not unwelcome. You needed this peace before the storm.

The drizzling started after finishing your food. Jungkook offered to wash the dishes. You did not fight him and simply nodded.

Jungkook thought you'd return to your room since you no longer have a business here. However, he was surprised when not only did you stay—you also stayed close to him.

"Uh..." Jungkook glanced at you from the side. The silence earlier was not awkward, but this one was.

"Why?" You leaned on the countertop and folded your arms across your chest. You stared at him lazily, "Go on. Wash the dishes."

Jungkook was in a dilemma here. You see, he didn't want to wash the dishes while you were around. Or rather, he didn't want you to see him put on the washing gloves.

"What's wrong?" You furrowed your brow when Jungkook didn't move.

"Don't tell me you don't want to work in front of your empress?"

Jungkook still did not move. His lips were glued together.

The drizzling turned into light rain.

"Fine then." You shrugged nonchalantly. Jungkook breathed out, thinking you had given up. But lawyers like you did not know how to give up.

You pushed through. You thrivedto get what you wanted.

You grabbed Jungkook's right hand. He wasn't expecting your action, so you saw how his hand balled into a fist. He didn't flinch, though—never.

Never from you.

As usual, Jungkook was wearing his silver Versace watch. You weren't sure why it took you long to notice something about him, but now that you did, you couldn't stop obsessing about it:

Jungkook was wearing his wristwatch on his right hand despite his left hand being his non-dominant one.

It perfectly complemented his silver engagement ring, but this practice was still out of the ordinary for many.

The light rain turned moderate.

You were still grasping Jungkook's hand. You stared at it with your blazing gaze. Jungkook saw how hard you bit your lip—like looking at his hand was a complex puzzle you couldn't solve.

The staring lasted a few minutes before you caressed his hand with both your hands. Jungkook's heart was in his throat. He could only watch helplessly as you removed his wristwatch.

The action only lasted seconds but felt like an eternity for Jungkook. It was tortureto have your soft hand kneading his wrist.

His wrist was tattooed.

So your hunch was correct, huh?

Jungkook really did have his wrist tattooed. You surveyed the design with a dry mouth, a hammering chest, and blurry eyes.

Jungkook had a bracelet tattoo—the bracelet was made with flowers.

But it wasn't just flowers—they were aquamarine daisies.

"Nice tattoo," you whispered as you traced your fingers on it.

You could hear Jungkook's shallow breathing when he hummed in response, "Yeah. It's dedicated to my empress. Her Majesty's born in March."

March was your birth month. The assigned birthstone for this month was aquamarine.

"Your empress didn't know she has such a dedicated subject." Your eyelashes fluttered, tilting your head to the side to expose your neck.

Jungkook gazed salaciously at your exposed skin. He suddenly thought if he were to be a vampire, it wouldn’t be too bad...

"I don't dare tell her. I don't think Her Majesty likes me very much." It took me a long time to figure out my feelings, too. But I didn’t want to run away from her—I didn’t want to run away from you.

Jungkook’s unspoken thoughts remained unspoken, though. He feared he’d scared you again. You two were barely talking. Jungkook didn’t know if tonight was a miracle because it sure felt like it was. Seeing you here was already enough.

“Her Majesty can be a little dense, huh?” You dropped his wrist, but your hand made its way to cupped his jaw. Jungkook was a big man, but he purred.Like a cat, he couldn’t help but nuzzle his face to your hand.

“Nah, I’m just too presumptuous. How could a mere servant dare kiss Her Majesty?” Jungkook’s voice was solemn. This was his way of subtly apologizing for his actions. He couldn’t apologize to you directly as it might ruin your mood.

But you were done pretending. You didn’t want subtlety anymore. What you realized at the Jeon’s garden shook your heart. You felt like you were deprived of oxygen after chain-smoking for so long.

It might be too late, but you wanted to quit. You wanted to give your lungs air that went by the name Jungkook,so you did just that.

The moderate rain turned into a thunderstorm.

You did not care about the lightning and thunder. All you could think about was the feeling of Jungkook’s lips against yours.

They are soft—was your first thought. But it’s not enough.You wanted more of him.

You grabbed Jungkook’s face and kissed him harder. It took him a few seconds to respond, thinking he was in a fever dream.

But this was real.

Jungkook moaned as his hands roamed around your body. He touched your hips. You were real.

He caressed your waist—you were real.

He stroked your hair—you were real.

He pushed his tongue inside your slightly parted lips—you were fucking real.

“For reference…” You broke the kiss for a while. Jungkook grumbled in annoyance. He tried to run after your lips while his eyes were tightly shut.

You laughed heartily but backed away. Jungkook gave up and just buried his face on your neck. He sucked bruises into it. God, you were so sweet and warm.

“I just taught you how to kiss me. You can’t just peck on my lips—”

“You want to be devoured. I get it.” Jungkook was impatient. He kissed you again.

He kissed and touched you until your lips had gone numb—until the thunderstorm stopped and the rainbow and sun resurfaced again.

***

The aftermath of the kiss wasn't tragic like the first one because Jungkook had learned his lesson.

"Seriously?" You looked at Jungkook in disbelief as you wriggled out of his grasp. Sadly, he didn't let you go and only tightened his hold on you like a koala bear.

"Tsk. Who knew you'd be this clingy?" In the end, you had no choice but to give up struggling. Jungkook had made up his mind. He would cling to you all night lest you run away again.

Kissing you was like a dangerous drug for him. It left him craving more.Admittedly, Jungkook stole many kisses from you in a span of ten minutes. You thought you wouldn't mind, but damn was he a ferocious beast.

He had bitten and licked you enough. You still need to meet some of your clients tomorrow. You couldn't go around looking like a violet painting, could you?

"Just one more kiss." Jungkook was about to kiss you again, but you pushed his forehead away.

"No. Your one kiss will last twenty minutes. Have mercy. I have a cut on my lips because of you!"

"Maybe I should kiss it better?" Jungkook batted his eyelashes. You pinched his cheeks in both annoyance and fondness.

"I can't believe I got myself a clingy boyfriend."

That shut Jungkook up. He looked at you dumbly, frozen like a stone in his spot.

It took him a second to realize the meaning of your statement. He gasped and grabbed your shoulders.

"We're dating?"

You blushed because of how surprised and delighted he sounded. It made you wonder if you were being toohasty, but you couldn't take back your statement now, could you? Not when the big puppy beside you was vibrating with excitement.

Gosh. He was so pathetic for you.

"Don't you want to?"

"No. No!" Jungkook licked his lips, his jaw tensing. You two were currently sitting on the couch. Jungkook could see the red roses on the center table. It pissed him off. The smile he flashed at you was strained. "It's good that you confirmed we're dating. That means the person who keeps sending you flowers will stop now, right?"

"Huh? You mean Mrs. Tanaka?" You narrowed your eyes. That old woman was a client of yours. She had a legal dispute over her land and had you represent her in court. The Supreme Court recently decided in favor of her, so now the land was rightfully hers. She sent you flowers as an additional expression of thank you.

Your clients have always been sweet. Aside from monetary value, they liked gifting you flowers, luxury bags, and perfumes.

Jungkook was stupefied. Of course, he knew Mrs. Tanaka. She brought candies for Hanni last time. Jungkook had approved it, so Hanni happily indulged her sweet tooth while you weren't looking.

He would have never guessed that Mrs. Tanaka was the one who sent you flowers.

You looked at Jungkook suspiciously, though. Then you crinkled your eyes. "Wait, did you think some guy is sending me flowers?"

Jungkook's lips protruded into a pout. He scratched his nape, "Well, you know. Someone did send you home before, then you received those popcorn flowers the next day..."

"Oh, my gosh. You're still not over that!?" You gaped at Jungkook. You seemed to learn more things about your boyfriend as time passed by. Was he seriously the jealous type?

You thought about it for a second, realizing it wasn't a red flag for you. In fact—

You looked at Jungkook's still sulky face. It warmed your heart in an instant.

—In fact, it was kind of cute.

"You don't have to worry." You stroked his arms. "I'm not entertaining anyone else. You're the only one I like."

Jungkook's downturned lips curved up. He practically had stars in his eyes. "Good. No more going out on dates either, except with me."

"But I never went on dates?" You didn't have time for it. Your clients were the only ones you met up with. Besides, meeting someone with a romantic intent was difficult for you. You hated opening your heart to a stranger since it was a waste of time and would probably not work out.

But Jungkook was not convinced. He remembered that you went on a date two weeks ago. He let out ahmph sound and said, "Don't lie to your boyfriend. You were on a date recently. You even wore a black dress."

Oh, that. Realization dawned on you. You shook your head at Jungkook, "Tsk. Are you the strict type? I went out with Ji-eun that night. That girl neededa break, you know?"

She sure did. Ji-eun was an overworked prosecutor. She couldn't remember the last time she went out, so you volunteered to take her on a date. Ji-eun was hammered.You didn't have a choice but to stop drinking and just babysit her.

You brought her home, too, and decided to stay the night.

"I'm saving the planet. I'm a responsible citizen!" You reasoned out to Jungkook. If you left Ji-eun at her home, you were sure she and Jongsuk would end up making another baby.

Jungkook finally relaxed. As it turned out, most things that made him sad the past two weeks were simply a misunderstanding.

You and Jungkook talked for a bit. He also assured you that he was not dating anyone else. His mother already called you daughter-in-law.He wouldn't dare bring anyone else home—he also didn't want to.

"I still can't believe this is real." Jungkook sighed with contentment as he gazed at your face.

He couldn't believe that after so long, you two would be here, sitting on the couch without biting each other's neck—that there would come a time when he could admit he liked you and that you felt the same.

If someone told him a month ago that he would be dating you, he probably would laugh at their face. You and Jungkook had a long history together; even now, you still have to figure out many things. But it was best to take things slow, mainly because you needed to prioritize Hanni first. The deliberation of the social workers hasn't been finalized yet.

"I'm real." You leaned your head over Jungkook's shoulder. You also traced his tattoo once again. Next time, you'd ask him why and when he got this. "We're real."

Jungkook nodded before kissing your temples. He felt your heartbeat through your wrist for a while.

He brought your hand to his mouth a little later, kissed it, and whispered goodnight to you.

***

Unfortunately, you might have to reevaluate jealousyas your red flag.

Your morning started off the same. You were cooking breakfast while Jungkook went out to check the mailbox. He hadn't seen flowers in a while, but fate seemed to be testing you as there was a fresh bouquet of tulips on your doorstep.

"Another client?" Jungkook frowned, letting you see the messy handwriting on the bouquet's card. Your name was written on it with a small heart on the end.

The veins in your head felt like they were going to explode. You honestly didn't want to deal with this early in the morning, but you realized that the sooner you talked about it, the sooner it would go away.

"I know where the flowers came from." You sighed loudly and took off your apron. It was a Sunday. Jongsuk would pick up Hanni after lunch. Perhaps it was better to order food online as your morning would be spent pacifying a big baby.

"I'm not sure if you remember him, but his name is Rico Braun. He was—"

"Mingyu's classmate and a bastard who's obsessed with you." Jungkook cut you off harshly. He wasn't mad at you or anything. This wasn't even about his jealousy. Jungkook's rage was directed at Rico.

How could Jungkook forget him? Rico was the reason why Mingyu's life became so fucked up. Jungkook hated him.

You gave your boyfriend warm tea and coaxed him to calm down. Unfortunately, Jungkook was still brooding. Hanni woke up a little later. She noticed her Jungkook-boy was in a foul mood, so she tried cheering him up.

Hanni was never scared of Jungkook. At three, she already knew Jungkook-boy would neverhurt her.

"Come on, I've already blocked his number. We haven't talked in a while now." You told Jungkook the last time you and Rico talked was many weeks ago. He insisted on bringing you home, so you just agreed to get it over with. You also told him Rico was already out of the country.

However, Jungkook didn't feel at ease. He searched for Rico on social media platforms.

"I'm blocking him too!" Jungkook announced.

You, him, and Hanni were in the living room. Hanni said she wanted to watch a movie with you and Jungkook before Uncle Jongsuk picked her up.

The little girl chose a movie while his male guardian sulked beside her.

"Hanni, look. He's not good-looking, isn't he?"

Jungkook's pettiness reached another level when he showed Hanni a photo of Rico. You facepalmed. This was a little too much.

But Hanni was on Jungkook's side. She looked at the picture and scowled, "Jungkook-boy, who is that? He looks like the one I saw in a movie before!"

As if on cue, the teYoongision flashed a movie recommendation. It was called Antz.Hanni giggled and pointed at the screen, "Look! Look! He looks like Z!"

Z was a character in Antz. Your mouth parted in shock as Hanni and Jungkook made fun of Rico. You couldn't care less about Rico, but you scolded them for being mean.

Jungkook caressed Hanni's hair when he realized his mistake, "Terni is right, Hanni. We can't be mean to other people. You can't judge them solely based on looks, alright?"

Your heart relaxed at that. You thought that was the end, but Jungkook added something more.

"Except him. You are allowed to make fun of this dude called Rico. He's a me—"

The pillow hit Jungkook's face before he could finish his sentence.

He looked at you sheepishly. You glared.

Silence filled the room.

Jungkook finally shut up.

***

Jungkook slowly returned to normal a few weeks after you two started dating. He hadn't really changed much to begin with. Jungkook became comfortable with being a little too in lovewith you.

Of course, the bickering never stopped. Jungkook still got on your nerves and vice versa. If one thing had changed, it was that Jungkook became busier with work.

He was assigned to many patrol operations and review reports. One time, you and Jungkook got home in the middle of the night because Jungkook had to go to the hospital first and get stitches.

You were so mad you berated Yoongi. "There are so many newbie officers out there! Why'd you have to send Jungkook to deal with these bastards!"

Jimin and Jungkook grabbed your shoulders to steady you. The bastards you were talking about were two groups of men who got into a brawl. Jungkook stepped in to stop them. They were useless gangs who had the gall to start a fight but cowered under the skirts of their mother.

It was so annoying!

Captain Yoongi was unbothered, though. He drank his tea and shrugged his shoulders. Jungkook brought you home while cajoling you to calm down.

However, you couldn't calm down, wanting to see him okay and out of danger. You and Jungkook ended up sleeping in the same bed that night. You tossed and turned, making sure you weren't hitting his wounds. You had to get up every 2hours to remind him to take his medicine.

Jungkook appreciated your concern so much that he wouldn't stop peppering your face with feather-like kisses. He thought the incident was a blessing in disguise as that was the start of the two of you sleeping in the same bed.

You hadn't gone beyond kissing and a few touches here and there, though. The nights you stayed together were more of a getting-to-know-each-otherphase.

Jungkook missed almost a decade of your life. He spent those years confused about his feelings for you—sometimes he liked you, sometimes he felt disappointed in the path you chose.

But ultimately, he felt regret because he hadn't made up his mind in those years. What did he truly want?

You were different from Jungkook. You knew everything that happened to him since Sora never failed to update you, even though you told her you couldn't care less.

That was a lie—you only told Sora this to make yourself feel better about how things ended between you and Jungkook.

Both of you achieved great things despite not being in the company of the other. But now that you were together, things became greater.

It was a typical day for you. You didn't work on weekends anymore, but your weekdays were busier than ever. A client of you called with an urgent concern. You were supposed to drop off Hanni at the daycare today, but your stupid client ruined your schedule.

"Don't say anything." You reminded your client in haste as you put on your heels. Your phone was attached to your ear since your hands were full of documents. Damn it. You were going to be late! "You're saying you are in Seoul now? The officers there would harass you. Demand a medical check-up before you engage with their demand. Again, don't say anything unnecessary without me there."

You kissed Jungkook and Hanni and mouthed goodbyeto them. Jungkook was sad you were leaving early but knew he couldn't interfere with your work. Jungkook watched helplessly as you sprinted toward your vehicle.

You started your car while still on the phone with your client. The latter was crying on the other line, saying how scared he was of the police officers in Seoul. He wasn't familiar with the city. Unfortunately, he got arrested for violating a local government law relating to operating an unmanned aircraft.

You were in the middle of talking to your client and were about to drive away when Jungkook abruptly entered your car.

"I'll go now. See you in a while." You cut off the line so you could direct your attention to Jungkook. He was carrying Hanni, and both of them were looking at you disapprovingly.

"What is it?" You huffed at them. You didn't have time for games. You had work to do.

Hanni crossed her arms while Jungkook lightly flicked your forehead.

"Ouch!" You overreacted. "What was that for?"

Both Jungkook and Hanni shook their heads. Jungkook was the one who explained their disappointment.

"You're driving away without a seatbelt? Don't you have regard for your life? Why do you keep forgetting you're a mom now?"

"Mama doesn't love us!" Hanni added fuel to the fire.

Oh.

You sheepishly blinked at them. Right. You were a 'mom' now. Frieda and Kiyomi released a statement, saying that you and Jungkook passed the deliberation. All you needed to do now was to sign the documents and submit them to the court, then the court would contact you to swear an oath, and that was it.

You would legally be Hanni's guardian. It was a done deal already. Jungkook knew you had already submitted the documents to the court. All you needed to do was wait for their call.

Your friends rejoiced with the news. You all had a mini party to celebrate. Hanni was so happy despite not knowing the legalities of the process. She just understood that you would forever be with her.

Admittedly, it was Hanni's idea to call you and Jungkook as ‘Mama’and ‘Papa.’You were at the party at that time. You announced the good news to your friends. Rin—Ji-eun and Jongsuk's eldest child--looked at Hanni innocently and asked, "Does this mean they're your mama and papa now?" while pointing at you and Jungkook.

You wished you were kidding when you said Hanni's eyes dilated out of excitement. She instantly called you Mama. A big smile was plastered on her lips.

You wanted badly to refute her. Not because you hated the idea of being a mom but because you did notwant to stealsomething that belonged to Sora and Niccolo.

Jungkook saw your struggle and wanted to correct Hanni, too. But Hanni called him Papa,and Jungkook didn't have the heart to refute her.

Thankfully, Hanni said something that soothed your guilty heart, "Isn't it cool? I have Mummy Sora, Daddy Nico, Mama Terni, and Papa Jungkook-boy!"

The kids cheered. One of Ji-eun's children even asked if she could have another papa,too. Jongsuk refused his kid vehemently. The mood lightened afterward, allowing you to continue the party without hiccups.

Since then, Hanni has never stopped addressing you as Mama.There were times you still felt awkward, just like now.

In your thirty-two years of existence, you had never once thought a little kid and Jungkook, as your boyfriend, would berate you for not wearing your seatbelt.

"It's my fault." And that you would so easily concede to them. Jungkook helped you wear your seatbelt. After that, he kissed your forehead. Hanni kissed your cheek.

Jungkook wanted to kiss you on the lips, but you told him to have some decency as you were in the presence of your child.

Jungkook snorted and unsuccessfully hopped out of the car with Hanni. They waved goodbye to you before going back inside the house.

"Remember, kid. You can kiss your loved ones on the lips. I happen to like your Mama so much that I can kiss her anytime. It's normal." Jungkook reminded Hanni. He couldn't say he didn't have ulterior motives for this, but a part of him wanted Hanni to learn affection and what should've been normalized in the first place.

"Alright," Hanni kissed Jungkook's cheek, "Does that mean I can kiss my friend Beren on the lips? I like him!"

Jungkook's eyes widened.

He lightly grabbed Hanni's shoulder and stared deep into her eyes. Jungkook's jaw ticked. "No! You absolutely cannot kiss Beren! You're a child!"

Beren was Ji-eun and Jongsuk's child. Jungkook felt pain in his heart. This was not happening! He couldn't let his three-year-old kid like that pimp Beren!

Jungkook sighed in frustration and defeat. He sat down with Hanni and told Captain Yoongi he would be late for work. Jungkook didn't care about salary deductions or any punishment ahead.

He needed to educate his daughter first!

***

The case of your client in Seoul turned out difficult to handle. It took you half a day to deal with it. You also visited your office and talked to your secretary about some updates, so it was already nighttime when you reached Busan.

The Kang Residence was unbelievably quiet. For once, Jungkook wasn't by the door to welcome you.

Strange.

You entered the house. All the lights were turned off. You checked Jungkook and Hanni's rooms, but they were not around.

For some reason, your heart had gone cold. You felt numbness crawling from your feet to your head when you opened the cabinets.

Empty.

It only meant one thing: Jungkook and Hanni left you.

It should have come as a shocker, but you expected this. This was your plan, after all. It was just that something changed. Instead of Jungkook and Hanni, you should have been the one who left.

Still, you couldn't help but cling to them. You tried calling Jungkook. However, his phone was turned off. You had no choice but to call his mother.

Mrs. Jeon answered the phone, asking what was wrong. She was worried after her son and granddaughter barged into her home.

You couldn't explain the situation via phone, so you told her you'd be there in a few minutes. You didn't mind if she told Jungkook because, despite things escalating to this level, you knew Jungkook would not run away from a confrontation.

He wanted to know what was up with you, too.

The drive to the Jeon's residence was short. You couldn't remember stepping on the gas so hard. For once, all thoughts evaporated in your head as the inevitable enveloped you:

You fucked up.

You and Jungkook were doing okay just this morning. He kissed you goodbye and reminded you to wear your seatbelt, but now everything felt suffocating. You removed the seatbelt and hopped out of the car.

Your numb legs miraculously made it to the door. Jungkook was there. He was leaning on the wall with a cigarette in his hand.

Jungkook never smoked—he hated the smell and its effect, but he couldn't help but indulge in the feeling of smoke filling his lungs.

He was stressed.

"Hey," you greeted. What other choice did you have? Whatever you spouted would sound like bullshit to him. A simple 'hey' was the safest option.

But as expected, Jungkook did not bother to look at you. He stared into nothing as he puffed out smoke.

You turned your head away and held your breath. The suffocating smell of smoke made you want to puke.

"I've read your letter." Jungkook's voice was devoid of any emotion.

You'd like to think you had seen almost all sides of him. You saw him angry, frightened, grieving, and disappointed.

But this? This was something you hadn't seen before. Jungkook seemed like a dead robot. When he looked at you, you saw nothing—not even disgust.

Jungkook just felt empty. For the second time, he felt what it was like to be proven wrong.

"I trusted you, you know," Jungkook said in a flat tone. His face was hollow when he threw the cigarette stick on the floor.

You watched as ashes scattered on the floor. They were like the memories you spent together these past months. Now, Jungkook did not hesitate to let them go.

He stepped on the cigarette stick aggressively.

"I honestly believed you had a change of heart, but..." Jungkook trailed off. He chuckled at himself—of how naïve he was. Then he looked up—like doing so was the only way to stop the tears from falling down his eyes.

He didn't want to cry in front of you.

"You betray me. As usual."

"J-Jungkook..." Your voice cracked. The lump in your throat grew bigger, threatening to choke you.

"Don't." Jungkook's jaw ticked. Anger flashed in his eyes. No. You didn't have the right to look apologetic. He wouldn't want to hear your lame excuse. You had made a decision already—just like what you did when you left Busan to chase your dream.

Jungkook knew everything now. You lied to him. You did not submit the documents to the court. You didn't even sign them. The papers collected dust on your office table.

All because you did not want to be Hanni's legal guardian.

Jungkook had read the letter you wrote. It was addressed to the judge, Kiyomi, and Frieda. You told them you were backing out from the guardianship as you couldn't do it—you weren't fit to be a mother.

You said you wanted to pass all responsibilities to Jungkook. Maybe Taehyung, too, if he agreed. You claimed you didn't want anything to do with Hanni--that you wanted to go back to Seoul and focus on your career.

To further your fucking career.

Jungkook wanted to scream because he should have known. And honestly, he couldn't fault you either. You had always been like this. You had always thought about your career more than anything.

More than him.

More than Hanni.

"What are you still doing here? Why haven't you left?" Jungkook did not want to see you anymore.

Your heart couldn't take it. Bad habits die hard. You were a heartless jerk who liked putting the blame on others. You were a ruthless lawyer who turned on the good to protect the evil.

You were the evil. Jungkook realized when you threw back a question at him, "What about you? Don't you hate me? Then why are you still waiting for me here?"

Say you love me.

Make me change my mind.

Fight these demons threatening to swallow me whole.

Save me.

"You—" Jungkook huffed. He was speechless because of your shamelessness. Tears fell down his cheeks. He wiped them harshly. "You're really something, aren't you?"

You sucked in a breath. That's right. Be angry with me. Show me something.

But you were asking for too much. Even you knew how shameless you were being. You couldn't keep doing this. You couldn't keep hurting Jungkook.

It was not fair.

You stepped back. From your distance, you could see Jungkook shaking. He was clenching his fist so tightly—you were sure his fingernails had dug into his skin to the point of scarring.

When you two started going out, Jungkook stopped wearing his wristwatch, but he was wearing it again.

You couldn't fault him. This was on you.

So you did what you're good at.

"Let's break up, Jungkook."

You broke him.

Jungkook gnashed his teeth as a response. Tears continue to flood his cheeks.

"Fine." He glared at you. "Have it your way. Let's not see each other again."

Jungkook already had his heart broken. You had seen him shed tears because of you. His pride was severely damaged, so all he could do was turn away.

You didn't take that away from him. You let him have his last shred of dignity.

And then you left.

****

***

It's Friday.

You used to spend the night watching movies with Hanni and Jungkook, but now that you were back in Seoul, your Friday night switched to dealing with cases you'd be presenting in court next week.

Your weekend should have been a rest day. You would wait for one of your friends to pick up Hanni, and then you and Jungkook would go on a date.

But that was before. Now, you were just a single, overworked lawyer who breathed in money.

It was more complicated now that you were in Seoul. You were constantly receiving emails from the Braun Family, asking you to work for them again and if there was any chance you could appeal Gabi's case.

It was a shot in the dark, but they still did it. After all, you didn't hesitate to do it before. You betrayed Mingyu for money. Now, you have done the same thing. You gave up on your promise to your dead best friend to further your 'career.'

"Attorney, Mr. Braun called again. They're offering to make you the head of their—"

"Decline it." You didn't let your secretary finish. She understood at once, proceeding to your next business.

"Noted. I'm reminding you that you have a court hearing tomorrow morning from seven to nine. Should I confirm your attendance?"

"Yes." You answered without casting your gaze away from the files. Work. You needed to work harder.

"Then tomorrow at 9:15am, you are invited by the University of Seoul to give a lecture to graduating law students. It's a 6-hour lecture. Are you up for it?"

"Yes." Came your robotic response. You could skip lunch. It was not a big deal.

"Mr. Kang needs your legal advice as well. He's asking if you're available at 3:30pm tomorrow?"

"Yes." You turned the page of the files you were reading. Your eyes had gone dry. It was okay.

"Can we still squeeze in a 5pm online consultation with Isayama Corporation? They've been trying to seek your service for a while now."

"Confirm my appearance tomorrow."

Mina wanted to go on but didn't have the heart to. There were so many events and clients you still needed to entertain. What about rest? You hadn't been sleeping the past month.

Your subordinates noticed your drastic loss of weight. Frankly speaking, they were worried about you. However, they had no one to voice their concerns to. They didn't know any of your family members, and Sora, the only one who kept you grounded the past years, was dead.

"Is there anything else?" You leaned back on your swivel chair and looked at your secretary. Was it weird that you felt she was dancing?

Or were you just dizzy?

"Actually, Mr. Kim Taehyung called. He's asking if you're free to meet him for dinner tomorrow. He's in Seoul and said he's willing to pay your hourly rate. How should I respond, Attorney?"

Your eyebrow shot at that. Huh. Taehyung was in Seoul?

"Tell him my hourly rate is thirteen thousand won. If he agrees, tell him I'm meeting him at Tross District."

Mina expressed her understanding and left you alone after. You massaged your aching temples, clamping your eyes shut.

This was your life now. It seemed like nothing had changed, but it felt like everything changed at the same time.

Returning to Seoul after staying in Busan for months made you realize how monotonous your life was—how your life revolved around law and fattening your bank account.

It used to excite you: the thought of earning money and people recognizing your talent. But it didn't seem relevant now—not when you couldn't feel your heart starting. You also couldn’t feel the air or see the sky because you had built your wall higher and stronger this time. They were bluer than ever.

The blue haze spread all over your office. Slowly, you tried to let your guard down as your forehead hit the table.

You breathed in.

You breathed out.

In.

Out.

In. Your tears fell.

Out. More tears fell.

You had to remind yourself it was okay to cry sometimes. Because if you suppressed it all and if you didn't cry enough, the pain would come to bite you back in the ass.

And it was gonna hurt. Like a fucking bitch.

***

Your Saturday reeked of regret.

You regretted filling your schedule the whole day with only a maximum of a thirty-minute break.

Your mind and body were about to give up. Tross District was near your office, yet you almost crawled there. You suddenly regretted charging Taehyung with your regular hourly rate. You should've charged higher because you were not ready to face him.

"Long time no see, Attorney." Taehyung was playing the role of a client very well. His sarcastic remark made you want to roll your eyes. But you didn't. You were trying to be professional.

"Apologies for not arriving on time. I didn't want to be here." Whoops. A slip of the tongue.

Taehyung glared at you. Nonetheless, he helped you sit down. He was not a bastard. He saw how much you were struggling. You looked exhausted.

"Man, Ji-eun is right. You look like shit." Taehyung grimaced. You mimicked his reaction. Damn. Did Ji-eun talk behind your back?

Unfortunately, you couldn't blame Ji-eun. You couldn't cut her off your life, either. She was the only source of information you had in Busan.

You always bugged the prosecutor to update you regarding Jungkook and Hanni. Ji-eun would always sigh and tell you to come see yourself. You never did. You were a coward. Luckily, Ji-eun had a soft spot for a coward like you. She knew the feeling of pining for a guy she thought she couldn't see more than a family.

"I'm busy with work." You dismissed Taehyung with a wave of your hand. You tried to order wine, but Taehyung did not allow you to.

"I'm paying. You're not allowed to escape this conversation with alcohol, Mam." The boy knew your type well. Your technique was getting old already. Haven't you learned enough? You were thirty-two, for God's sake. Why did you still act like your problems would disappear if you ignored them?

You were acting like a child.

"Ugh," you scowled. "What do you want to talk about, anyway? Come on, time's running."

Taehyung ignored you, focusing on ordering proper meals for you. He was not blind. He saw how much you had lost weight. Your breakup with Jungkook and moving back to Seoul ruined you. Taehyung couldn't watch you destroy yourself any further—not when his other best friend in Busan was doing as bad as you were.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm the biggest idiot in our group or if it's you and Jungkook." Taehyung exhaled loudly. "Or maybe it's Sora. I don't understand why she'd rather leave Hanni to you and Jungkook."

"Hey—!!" Your mind had been working all day. As much as you wanted to refute Taehyung's statement, your brain cells wouldn't do it. You were damn tired. All you could do was roll the tissue paper into a ball and throw it at Taehyung's face.

Taehyung gasped. He debated throwing back the rolled napkin to you but then decided against it. One of you needed to act as the mature one unless you wanted to be kicked out of this restaurant.

Taehyung wouldn't want that—not when he hadn't even started lecturing you for your idiocy and cowardice.

Since Taehyung was a decent person, he let you take a few bites of your food before speaking his mind. You looked like you needed it. You were barely chewing your food. You were so hungry you just swallowed it all.

"Slow down, damn." Taehyung was disgusted. Was this the same person Jungkook cried over about?

"I'm hungry! This is my first meal!"

"You're already living this badly. Don't you have regard for yourself? Are you trying to end your life?"

You stopped slurping your ramen and looked at Taehyung. Seeing his expression had you gluing your mouth shut. Being honest with him would probably send him on a spiral, so you just stuck to your second option: to shut up.

However, Taehyung understood your silence. His jaw ticked, "Why don't you just move back to Busan?"

"Can't. I'm not welcome there anymore." You replied casually. Taehyung felt his head aching.

"And whose fault is that? Aren't you the one who broke up with Jungkook and told me to look after Hanni on your behalf? Your decision got you in this depressive state, yet you still couldn't admit it?"

"I'm not depressed!"

"Oh, come on!" Taehyung badly wanted to throw the rolled napkin on your face. He did. Unfortunately, it landed on your bowl of ramen.

"You—!!"

Taehyung was unapologetic. He snarled at you. "Why are you doing this? Seriously? You're ruining your life for nothing!"

It was a good thing Taehyung hired a private room. Otherwise, you wouldn't have the face to look the customers in the eye. You knew most of them. They had been your clients, and some were your colleagues. You couldn't bear seeing them see you like this.

"And what about it!?" You screamed back. Weeks of built-up frustration fucked you up. Tears brimmed in your eyes. "There's nothing I can do! I can regret all I want, but it ends with that, too. I've ruined everything. You don't understand it. You..."

Your chest was heaving. It was hard to breathe, but you persevered. You felt like you were going to die if you kept it all inside.

"You don't know what it's like to be me, alright? I'm not Sora. I don't know how to be a good mom. I'm not Ji-eun, either! I can't win a case without scheming! And I'm..."

You couldn't hold back your tears. A sob escaped your lips.

"I'm not enough. I don't know how to love him. I'm...broken." The last word was barely above a whisper, but it reverberated through Taehyung's heart.

He couldn't take it. Seeing you like this felt like he was losing another friend. He could only take so much.

"Why do you say that?" Taehyung's expression morphed into something bitter. He bit his lips as if he was stopping something painful. "Did he never tell you?"

Tell me what? You wanted to ask, yet you couldn't find your voice. Your throat was filled with bile. One word, and you would throw it all out. You couldn't. It was too pungent.

Taehyung was conflicted. He stared at you blankly for a while, thinking of how he could explain things to you the same way Jungkook explained to him his feelings for you.

You lapsed into silence.

Taehyung watched the floating tissue on your ramen bowl. He felt guilty. You were deprived of many things.

Taehyung called out your name. Surprisingly, you did not bite back. You just simply hummed to indicate you were listening.

Taehyung calmed down.

"What do you think about law school?"

His question caused you to snap your head up and meet his gaze. Why was Taehyung asking you such a question?

"Can you tell me what you feel about law school?"

You always complained about how hard law school was. Taehyung had to admit that sometimes he pretended to listen to your rant. It drained him to listen to you talk. But now, he really wanted to hear your thoughts.

"I..." You licked your lips. You didn't know where to start. There were so many things to say about law school. Summarizing it would feel like a crime, but you still tried to fit what you feel in a few sentences.

"I abhorred law school so much." You didn't just dislike it—you hated it. "I hate that we follow the Socratic method. I hate that I had to memorize the provisions verbatim. I hate that I had to read hundreds of pages for a single case only to be asked one sentence about it. I hate how my professors attacked me personally and belittled my capacities because I got one question wrong. I hate that I constantly have to demerit my classmates' answers just so I wouldn't get zero on our recitation. I hate that I have to scheme to prove a point. I hate that they call the Constitution the supreme law of the land, but it's open to interpretation—it's open to many things. I view this provision as a circle, but it's a square. I hate it. I hate law school so much."

Taehyung could feel the hatred radiating from you.

"But..." Your lips trembled as you swallowed thickly, "I love law school at the same time. I love how it taught me how to be tough. I love how I can use these square things to help those in need, those falsely accused. I love how my heart pumps whenever I talk about those damned provisions I have memorized by heart. Most importantly, I love how being a lawyer defined me. It's not my whole personality, but it is a part of me."

A huge part of who you are today. Something you could call your own.

"Wow." Taehyung blinked, unable to say anything at first. He knew you were passionate about law but underestimated its impact on you.

You gave your whole heart to law.

"I get it now." The bulb inside Taehyung's head lit up. He squared his shoulders and looked at you with understanding. "You're like this because you haven't realized what you meant to Jungkook."

Taehyung was not making sense to you. You gaped, blinking dumbly at him.

Taehyung shook his head and licked his lips. He tried to explain, "Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe you are Jungkook's definition of law school?"

Jungkook felt two extreme emotions toward you all his life: love and hatred. But your actions to him were more of the latter, so Jungkook thought he'd act like he hated you more.

You didn't exactly give him many reasons to realize his love for you. The anger and the betrayal overpowered something he had not admitted himself.

Come to think of it, every emotion you two felt for each other was so strong that you didn't realize you were rushing into things.

It took you a short time to get together. It took you even a shorter time to break up. Your feelings were so intensethat you didn't know what to do with them.

"I guess you're not the only idiot in your relationship. Jungkook is, too." Taehyung observed. Jungkook was not good with words. He showed his love with actions. It was evident by how he took care of you and awkwardly kissed you the first time. Admittedly, he didn't know what to do after that first kiss. He was an awkward little ball who failed to assure you what it meant.

The second kiss was slightly better, but Jungkook still didn't know what to do with the feelings injected into his heart. He only knew how to cling and possess.

You two hadn't dealt with your issues before. Yes, you made it clear to each other that there was no room for other people in your hearts, but it ended with that.

Frankly, this was the bottom line of your issue. You were vulnerable and admitted to Taehyung, "I don't know what to do with us, Taehyung." You held back a hiccup. "I felt like I've stolen this life."

Your gain was someone else's loss. Would you have dated Jungkook if Sora didn't die? Would you two have started something hadn't been for the fact that you were forced to live together?

These thoughts flooded your brain. More importantly, you thought you didn't deserve to be a mother. Hanni calling you Mama had fucked you up more than you thought it would. You lied to yourself at first, thinking you were simply getting used to the thought of being responsible for a child's life.

However, it was proven to be challenging. You had a broken soul. How could you love a little child who needed body and soul nourishment when you couldn't extend the same treatment to yourself?

Taehyung's words cut you deep. He voiced your deepest fear.

"What?" Taehyung couldn't fathom how you thought you stole the life you had in Busan. He widened his eyes at you, "Are you so insecure and a coward that you think Jungkook can't fall in love with you? That you can't love Hanni, right? Why? Is it because you have convinced yourself no one could love you? That's it, right? You thought that because that's how you viewed yourself in the first place."

Taehyung felt scandalized when he realized something.

He gasped and said, "It's because you don't love you."

No shit. You really had a broken soul and heart. You couldn't accept love, so you ran away from it.

Silence permeated the room. Taehyung didn't know what to say to you anymore. You were defeated, too.

"Just think about it," Taehyung said after a long pause. He blinked and held your hand. He squeezed them tightly. His touch was comforting, but it wasn't warm.

He wasn't Jungkook.

"You're a great lawyer. Just please think about what I said. You are not hard to love. Or even if you are, someone out there treats you like you are his law school."

There was someone out there who would not give up on you. Someone who would stubbornly charge ahead if it mean being a part of your life.

He loved you.

Jungkook loved you.

You and Taehyung left Tross District after you both calmed down. He didn't have the heart to let you go alone, so he drove you home.

Your apartment in Seoul was big, but it didn't feel like a home. It was simply a house. It was cold. Devoid of flowers and laughter.

It made Taehyung's heart ache.

"I'll get going." Taehyung squeezed your shoulders, still feeling lamented by how you treated your body. "Don't forget your promise to me and Sora."

It was game over. Taehyung had used your weakness against you. But you knew he was right. Your heart had decided, too.

"I know." You smiled softly. "I'll talk to him soon."

"Good." Taehyung turned to leave. He was halfway out the door when you called him.

"Taehyung?"

"Hm?"

"How do you know?" How'd you know Jungkook loves me?

Taehyung's eyelashes fluttered. The wind blew gently.

Taehyung smiled at you.

"My best friend told me. I have eyes too, you know? I won't lie to you."

He wouldn't. Taehyung was the most honest man you knew. He was always genuine in whatever he did. He had eyes that saw the truth, too.

Taehyung wouldn't forget about that day. It was when Sora's case came to an end. Taehyung had invited you and the others to dinner.

Jungkook was dazzling when he entered the restaurant. His hand was tightly wrapped just above your waist—like he wanted to attach you to him.

Hanni was in your arms the whole night. Jungkook ate so little as he was busy tending to you. You two were sitting beside each other. Taehyung watched how gently Jungkook gathered your hair so you could eat your hotpot without disruption.

And when you burnt your tongue because of how hot the food was, Jungkook immediately came to rescue you. He brought the cup close to your lips and let you drink water. After that, he gently patted your lips dry with a napkin.

You turned to Jungkook that time and said thank you.

Jungkook smiled back and whispered no problem to your neck.

Taehyung remembered watching the two of you, his heart melting. Some might think it was a simple gesture, but that was a moment of enlightenment for him.

When you know, you know.

"Take care of yourself." Taehyung reminded you for the last time. You didn't say anything more and just watched him leave.

As Taehyung entered his car, you suddenly remembered a portion of Sora's dying letter addressed to you.

"I'm leaving my little girl to you and Jungkook. Don't ask me about Taehyung. He's an idiot. Idiots can't take care of a child."

Huh.

You were starting to think Sora was just making an excuse. She knew Taehyung was not the idiot here.

It was you. And Sora was on a mission to change how you viewed life and yourself.

***

"Papa, where are we going?" Hanni's furrowed brows were cute to look at. However, Jungkook knew the little girl was trying not to cry. She thought she and Jungkook would go somewhere far again.

Hanni was sad the night they moved to the Jeon residence. Admittedly, it was not part of the plan. But Jungkook couldn't bear to stay in the same room as you—not after discovering that you viewed your relationship with him and Hanni as a burden.

Jungkook wouldn't mind if he was the only one affected. He was used to you leaving. But Hanni would get hurt, too. What would this little girl feel if she found out that her Mama didn't want to do anything with her?

"Don't worry, sweetheart. We're just going on a vacation."

Captain Yoongi assigned a drug-related case to Jungkook, so he needed to go to Gangwon Prefecture to investigate. Jungkook was hesitant at first, mainly because he didn't know where to leave Hanni. He had no intention of hiring a babysitter for a whole week. He couldn't leave the kid to Mrs. Jeon either. She was an old woman who could barely stand. Jungkook's friends were all busy, too. Captain Yoongi assigned them individual cases, which were all complex.

Besides, Hanni was vulnerable now. She hadn't moved on from her parents' absence completely. It didn't help that you had left, too.

Hanni always asked about you, but Jungkook made many excuses, saying you were busy with work and that Sora needed a hand to save the rabbits, so you volunteered.

Hanni was not happy to hear the same excuse. You promised to be with her for a hundred years. It hadn't been a year since you swore that, yet you were already gone.

You were a liar. Don't you love her anymore?

"It's just going to be seven days, darling. After that, we can go to your Aunt Ji-eun and Uncle Jongsuk's house. I won't glare at Beren, either. Just go with Papa for now, okay?"

"Okay," Hanni agreed but pouted her lips. She looked at the door to your bedroom, "I miss Mama. When will Mama come back?"

Jungkook and Hanni had moved back to the Kang residence three days after he made sure you had left Busan. The silence of the house was suffocating Jungkook, but he had no choice but to repress his pain.

He was learning from you. Weren't you the one who could pretend everything was alright even though it was all falling apart?

Jungkook needed to be strong for Hanni. However, it wasn't easy to do so. Hanni threw a fuss on the way to Gangwon Prefecture. As it turned out, the little kid didn't like traveling to far places.

Hanni vomited a lot, feeling dizzy from being inside the car for hours.

Jungkook was in a state of panic when they reached Gangwon. He deliberated bringing Hanni to the hospital, but Jimin called via phone and told Jungkook to contact Doctor Kim Seokjin first.

After the online consultation, Kim Seokjin said it was nothing serious and that Hanni just needed to rest. Because of this, Jungkook decided to postpone his investigation for a day.

He and Hanni ended up bonding inside their rented place. They watched movies, played games, and ate tasty food.

Captain Yoongi called at night, though. He said the investigation was an urgent matter. Jungkook couldn't leave Hanni alone, so after making sure that the police station was safe, Jungkook brought Hanni there.

Captain Yoongi was skeptical and wanted Jungkook to see why there were so many drug-related cases in Busan, yet all suspects were thrown to Gangwon Prefecture. Jungkook decided to talk to some of the inmates, but of course, he needed to talk to the head of Gangwon Police Station first.

With Hanni clinging to his arms, Jungkook stepped foot inside the station. He was greeted by a correction officer.

"Hello. I'm Busan's Police Lieutenant Jeon. I'm looking for Captain Choi."

The correction officer checked the computer system first. After confirming that Jungkook indeed had business with their Captain, the correction officer immediately led Jungkook to the Captain's office.

Jungkook brought Hanni, swearing that he had headphones and other games to distract the kid. She wouldn't interfere with the meeting.

The correction officer brushed it off. He said that the Captain usually brought along his children, too.

Jungkook felt at ease. He nodded at the correction officer and finally entered the Captain's room.

But what he saw made him question everything he thought he knew.

***

Your monotonous life passed by. It had been a while since you talked to Taehyung, yet you still refused to make do with your promise to him.

You have not contacted Jungkook yet.

You missed him terribly. You longed to see your little kid, too. But your heart shook every time you tried to contact them.

Just like now.

You dropped your phone on the table, clenching your fists that were shaking.

A stack of files filled your table and office, but you ignored them. Your attention was focused on your phone.

You had been meaning to call Jungkook, but your stupid heart wouldn't calm down.

You screamed internally.

Later. You'd do it later today.

***

Gangwon Police Station had seen it all: there were screaming criminals, crying accused, and police officers who were done with everything and just wanted to go home.

However, it never saw a grand reunion between two friends who had not seen each other in ten years.

Jungkook stared at the man in front of him. He used to be one of those boys who refused to cry as it showed weakness. But he couldn't care about it now.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared at his long-lost friend.

***

Your secretary was worried about you.

You had deadlines but were still looking dumbly at your phone instead of working. Mina wanted to snatch the little device and be the one to call whoever the one you'd been meaning to talk to.

Your secretary had never seen you this distressed.

She sighed and thought, "Is my boss in love?" Then she cringed at the thought.

Nah. You're probably thinking of a way to solve a case.

It was impossible for you to be in love. Even if you were, she was sure it would be reciprocated.

You were easy to love.

***

Back in Gangwon Police Station, Jungkook was sitting nervously on the couch. Hanni was crawling around the Captain's office. She had toys to keep her company, so she wasn't interested in disturbing his Papa and the other guy with gentle eyes.

Mina couldn't take it anymore. She'd be damned if you didn't finish your work for today. She was about to waltz in your direction when your phone suddenly rang.

You recoiled.

It took three rings before you answered the call.

"Hello?" You introduced yourself for formalities, thinking that someone had unfortunately given away your personal contact information again.

You were about to tell the person on the other line not to contact this number again, but then you were cut off by a familiar voice.

The person on the other line knew your whole name. He mentioned it before proceeding to his business, "I'm calling from Gangwon Police Station. You need to come here now. There are two people here: One thirty-something male claiming to be your husband, and the other is a three-year-old girl claiming to be your daughter. They say they won't leave unless you, the mom of the family, pick them up."

There were no thoughts left in your head after that sentence. You immediately ended the call and stood up.

"Attorney, where are you going?" Mina panicked. You had work to do. You couldn't leave.

But you couldn't care less about your job right now.

You needed to go.

Your family needed you.

***

The night wasn't young anymore when you reached Gangwon Police Station. The long drive took many hours. You couldn't sit still and fidgeted. Your dumb ass forgot to bring your phone since you were in a hurry. You also didn't have time to tell the driver to make a stop as you wanted to reach your destination as soon as possible.

Fortunately, the driver you hired was professional and was able to drive you to Gangwon without any problems. You paid the driver double and ran towards the station, feeling bad you couldn't give more thanks to the driver.

There was a far more important thing to deal with right now:

Jungkook and Hanni—your family.

"Mama!?" Hanni was the first one to spot you. Jungkook looked in your direction, too. A faint blush colored his cheeks upon seeing you. Jungkook carried Hanni and walked toward you.

No words were exchanged at first. The three of you silently squeezed into a tight embrace.

"Mama! Mama! Hanni misses you so much! " Your little girl was sobbing. She learned to count up to a hundred to track the days you were gone.

71 days. You were gone for seventy-one long days!

"Mama is here now, sweetheart." You kissed Hanni's forehead. Your knees were still weak from sitting in the car for too long. You couldn't carry Hanni yet.

Jungkook understood, but he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Come here," Jungkook's voice was raspy. His bloodshot eyes seemed not to take no for an answer.

You swallowed and stuck closer to him. Jungkook could carry Hanni with one hand. His other hand snaked to your shoulders. You had grown thinner. He could practically fit you in his hand.

"I miss you," Jungkook confessed honestly, and then he kissed your temple.

Blood rushed to your face. Your lips were trembling.

Jungkook grumbled and pulled you closer, acting like he wanted to melt your bodies together.

"I know everything now." He whispered in your ear.

You froze, unable to say anything. Your eyes wandered behind Jungkook.

The Captain of this station stood there, a small smile painted on his lips.

Captain Mingyu Choi. He was known as Mingyu Kim before he got married and took his wife's last name. Of course, you knew this person well. You fought tooth and nail to give him freedom. He was the main reason why you followed the Braun family. They told you they wouldn't involve the police and make sure Mingyu could still live his life. It might not be in Busan, but at least he lived freely here in Gangwon.

It was only today that Jungkook found out the truth. He had no idea that you kept in contact with Mingyu all these years. Jungkook seriously thought you had abandoned Mingyu for your dream.

Mingyu refuted this and told Jungkook the truth, "If it weren't for her, I'd probably end up in a ditch. She made a fair negotiation with the Braun Family. She knew that if she kept protesting, my life would have been ruined more." You studied well in law school and used all the allowance Mr. Braun gave you to fund Mingyu's lifestyle. The money you sent him fed his family and helped him train as a police officer.

Life was not too cruel to Mingyu because just a year after he moved to Gangwon, he met and married Miyeon Choi. It was you who suggested that Mingyu take his wife's last time. It would be easier for him to start a new life. Thankfully, the Braun family did not bother with Mingyu anymore.

You asked Mingyu if he wanted to get back at the Braun for what they did to him. Yes, the Braun family was powerful, but you were a lawyer now. You knew how to fight them. However, Mingyu didn't want more drama.

Mingyu shook his head, "There is no need for that. They tried to ruin my life, but they didn't succeed. Look at me now. I am a police officer. I have a beautiful and intelligent wife. We are happy with our two kids, too."

Call it toxic positivity or whatever, but Mingyu thought things turned out to be for the better. If Rico hadn't put those illegal drugs in his bag, then he wouldn't have met Miyeon. Living in Gangwon changed Mingyu's life for the better.

Jungkook was perplexed, though. He questioned why neither you nor Mingyu had ever told him about the truth. Apparently, it was Mingyu's idea. Mingyu knew Jungkook. He wouldn't stop in the name of justice. Mingyu appreciated it, but he just wanted to live a peaceful life.

Besides, Mingyu was embarrassed. He felt like he was why you and Jungkook had a fallout. He kept in touch with you and found out what happened to Sora and her husband. Mingyu was aware of your setup with Jungkook and was hoping the two of you would end up together this time.

Fate was cruel to you. Mingyu was dejected when he found out you and Jungkook broke up. He thought it was time to take the matter into his own hands and contacted Captain Yoongi. He corroborated with Busan's Captain to fix your relationship.

This was hitting two birds with one stone. Mingyu didn't want to avenge himself, but there were other people involved in this drug case. It wasn't just the Braun Family. In fact, the fall of Mingyu prompted the Braun clan to lay off drugs in Busan. There was a bigger person who was controlling the drug trade in Busan. They threw addicts and other scapegoats in Gangwon since this prefecture was rural and no one would dare investigate further. But Chief Kim and Captain Min had had enough. They needed to be more proactive to fix their city.

Jungkook would be involved, too. This was a case assigned to him, after all. Though he set this aside for now. He traveled all the way to Gangwon to deal with drugs, but he saw Mingyu, and everything turned upside down.

Mingyu helped him calm down before slowly and patiently explaining things to him. Jungkook understood but couldn't help but throw a tantrum. He told Mingyu he and Hanni would not leave the station unless you picked them up.

You and Mingyu must pacify him. He was the emperor now. He needed his empress.

Thankfully, you had arrived without the need for force. Mingyu could finally sigh in relief as he watched you and Jungkook talk affectionately.

After Jungkook told you what he knew, he batted his eyelashes and said, "You're here now. Won't you take pity on us? Won't you come back to us again?"

'But I've never left.' You wanted to say. Maybe you left physically, but it had always been him and Hanni since day one.

Sora could rest assured now.

This time, you would never leave.

***

You, Hanni, and Jungkook returned to the place Jungkook rented for a week. Jungkook told Mingyu he would be back tomorrow to properly discuss the drug case, but for now, he needed time with his family first.

Mingyu said it was no problem at all. He was itching to go home, too. Miyeon and his kids were waiting for him.

"Mama, you won't leave again, right?" Hanni held your fingers. She was scared to sleep because what if she woke up later and you were no longer around?

"Not this time, kiddo. Sleep. We'll watch Antz when you wake up, hm?"

That earned a snort from Jungkook. You pinched his cheek and told him to stop being a jealous asshole.

He caught your hand and kissed it.

Hanni giggled when she saw you and Jungkook like this. After convincing her that you wouldn't break your promise, Hanni finally fell asleep.

It was just you and Jungkook now.

The place had two rooms. Jungkook made sure Hanni had her own space wherever they went. Thankfully, you did not shy away from sleeping with Jungkook.

This was for the better. You two needed to talk for real.

"Later." You pushed Jungkook away when he topped you and started trailing kisses all over your face and neck.

Jungkook groaned but obediently followed you. He awkwardly fixed his pants, which felt tight.

You cleared your throat and pretended not to notice the bulge in his pants. Damn it.

"We need to talk first, and no. You can't just say everything is okay. It's not. What I did to you and Hanni was shitty."

You thought Jungkook would be like an obedient dog and just nuzzle your neck. Surprisingly, he turned serious for once.

"You're right. It's shitty." Jungkook jutted his chin. "And I hated you for it. I hated how easy it was for you to leave us alone."

The grievances Jungkook felt when you left were insurmountable. It made him question if it wasn't worth it, but then he remembered what you felt all these years—how you hid everything and acted like the villain.

You never wanted to leave the first time. The circumstances forced you to do it. It was he who didn't realize what was happening.

But that's the thing. You never held it against him. He was young back then. You two were powerless. Your option was the easiest way to deal with it. You just did what you thought was for the best.

"But I'm not any better. I held you on this very high pedestal because I have loved you since the beginning. I was just too blinded by embarrassment and rage, so I failed to recognize what you meant to me."

Jungkook thought about what happened before. Sora, Taehyung, and the others never participated in the protest for Mingyu, but Jungkook never held it against them.

Jungkook recently started to wonder why. And that's when he realized that it was because he loved you.

It was a shitty excuse, though it was the only reasonable explanation why he got mad at you back then. Jungkook realized people tend to have strict and high standardsfor their loved ones.

Jungkook barely batted an eyelash when the others didn't want to protest, but when you told Jungkook the same thing, he got angry and started resenting you.

As it turned out, he resented you for no reason. His heart caved every time he remembered the truth. Mingyu's words echoed in his head it was making him feel bad.

Jungkook couldn't help but kiss you again. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." You returned the kiss. "What I did to you and Hanni isn't excusable. I won't justify it, either. I'm just sorry I doubted your love for me."

The first time you left might not be your fault, but the second one was. Making promises meant nothing. This time, you would properly apologize and make do with your promise with action.

"Will you tell me?" Jungkook cupped your face and pecked at your lips. He couldn't help it. He was not the once bitten, twice shy type of person. You were addicting.

"Will you tell me how to love you right, babe?" Jungkook was on top of you again. He licked the seam of your lips. "How do I stop your pretty little head from doubting my love for you?"

You purred and rubbed your hips against his crotch. Jungkook was not like any other guy. He'd think of how to improve himself instead of punishing you for what you did.

He loved you so much.

"Just stay with me. Please. I'll be good now. I promise." You felt hot all over, urging Jungkook to unbutton your blouse.

He slowly undressed you as he kissed your neck down to your chest. Sweet. You smelled divine.

Jungkook embraced you while you wrapped your legs around his hips. Heat rolled to your belly. Jungkook pushed you against the headboard, and your back felt the velvet fabric tickling your naked back.

Jungkook was wearing his police uniform. He pinned both your hands to your head and locked them with his handcuff.

You gasped.

Jungkook's eyes pooled with desire when he saw you like this.

"I'll tie you like this if you dare leave me again."

It should've made you mad or embarrassed. Anything would do, but your treacherous body felt desire.

Only groans and moans and soft whimpers reverberated through the room.

'Tomorrow.' You promised yourself. 'We'll talk more tomorrow.'

***

Tomorrow came, and still, you and Jungkook hadn't talked. He got busy with work, and so did you. Mina had a breakdown on the other line, wondering where you went.

You apologized to your secretary and promised to finish your work. The week passed by with both you and Jungkook drowning with work. Hanni didn't have to worry about daycare since it was not formal schooling yet. You might have to enroll her in a formal school next year.

The topic of raising Hanni became your first priority when you went back to Busan.

You and Jungkook decided to raise Hanni in the Kang residence because traces of her departed parents were still here. You both swore not to make major changes in the house, as the decision depended on Hanni. This home belonged to her.

"I like it when we're like this." You embraced Jungkook. You two were slow dancing.

You were at a party tonight to celebrate the Lee couple's tenth wedding anniversary. Jungkook looked dashing in his black three-piece suit. Meanwhile, your boyfriend couldn't keep his eyes off you. He liked how you wore a pastel-colored dress. Jungkook couldn't get his hands off you that you arrived late at the party.

Your makeup was ruined, too. Damn this beast.

No one would have thought he was a monster in bed, though—not when he was holding you like a hatchling now.

"I like us all the time." Jungkook pressed his forehead against yours. He sighed in contentment. "Have I told you before why I got this tattoo here?"

Jungkook was referring to his bracelet tattoo. He was no longer covering it. He wore his wristwatch on his left hand.

"Not yet."

Jungkook hummed and told you the story. Back then, Captain Yoongi always made you, and the other kids do this gesture called Shinzo wo Sasageyo. It is meant to offer your heart. Yoongi never made the gesture but never failed to teach his students to practice it.

The Captain would tell you to practice the gesture during camping and training. It remained in Jungkook's heart, so when he realized his feelings for you, he thought, why not have his tattoo on his right wrist? This way, he could do the Shinzo wo Sasageyo gesture, giving him the illusion that he was offering his heart to you.

After all, the Shinzo Wo Sasageyo gesture included placing your fist against your chest.

"You found out you love me that early?" You were shocked.

Jungkook nodded, "At that time, I knew I had feelings for you, but I was too stubborn to admit it. I thought that maybe I'm just grateful to you. You gave me hope that time, you know?"

He was talking about the time he was in a depressive state after his mother fell ill. Your song touched his heart.

You bit your lips, realizing how much of an idiot you were. All the signs were already in front of you, yet you refused to see them.

Jungkook understood your expression.

"Hey," he lifted your chin. "Don't think about it anymore. I was never vocal with my feelings."

"I never told you I love you either." You kissed Jungkook's hand. "But I hope you know it now. I hope you know I love you."

"I'm not just aware of it. I feel it, too." Jungkook was so happy he could ascend to heaven right now. "And I love you too."

As it turned out, the only thing lacking in your relationship was the expression of those three words.

Jungkook wanted to hear you say you loved him. You felt the same, too.

From now on, you'd say it until the end of time.

***

As cliche as it might sound, you could proudly say time passed smoothly. You processed the legal documents until you and Jungkook were again declared Hanni's legal guardians.

Hanni was delighted. The good news happened during her fourth birthday. She felt she couldn't ask more, especially after you relented and gifted her a rabbit.

Rabbits were said to be docile animals. Unfortunately, Hanni's rabbit seemed to hate you.

The rabbit's called Daisy. It acted all sweet and cute when Jungkook and Hanni were around, but it turned hostile around you.

You expressed your grievance to your family, but they told you were overthinking it.

Until one day...

You were so busy with work that you had forgotten to feed the poor rabbit. You rushed to its hutch to feed it, but Hanni was there caressing it.

"You don't have to feed it, Mama." Hanni hugged her pet. "Mummy Sora told me she already fed Daisy."

Goosebumps pricked at your skin at that. You screamed Jungkook's name, and he attended to you at once.

"Hanni's scaring me! She said Sora fed that damn rabbit!"

"Don't be silly." Jungkook playfully pushed your shoulder before kissing it.

"It's true, Papa. I've dreamt about Mummy Sora earlier. She said she fed Daisy already."

Another wave of goosebumps attacked your skin when you saw the rabbit's food container. It was packed yesterday! Someone had already opened it!

You and Jungkook looked at each other in fear.

Hanni assured you, "Don't worry, Mama and Papa. Mummy Sora is very nice. She said she won't scare you guys."

The little girl giggled and told you to carry Daisy. "Mummy even said she talked to Daisy. Daisy will be a good girl now. She won't get angry at you."

Truth be told, the rabbit didn't snarl at you anymore. It even cooed when you touch its tiny nose.

"Yes!" You felt victorious.

Jungkook laughed at your reaction. The fear enveloping you vanished. You looked up and silently thanked your departed best friend.

Jungkook felt grateful, too. He lovingly looked at his loved ones before looking at the ceiling.

"I have a fiancée, a child, and a rabbit. What more could I ask for?"

- END -

for more JJK fics, just visit my profile. i highly appreciate likes, reblogs, specially comments 🩵 even if it's just a simple 💛

This fic is dedicated to Trixie, a.k.a, my sister and best friend.

When the Connie in this fic said, “When you know, you know.” I FELT THAT. When we started talking, I just knew we’d be close because we’re similar in many ways, except that you are better than me. Please don’t refute this statement because ‘you being better’ makes me want to become a better person, too. You are my inspiration, my peach.

Trixie, I can’t thank you enough for all the things you’ve done for me. Thank you for being my hope this 2023. This year started shitty, but it will not end with a bad taste in my mouth because of you. I love and cherish you so much. I didn’t know it was possible to love a friend this much.

Thank you for sharing your music with me. The way the narrator describes Y/N’s voice in this fic is just me gushing over your songs. May you continue pursuing your love for music. I will always support you. I don’t know how else to thank you, so just accept this fic. I keep you in mind while writing EVERY WORD in this fic—wondering if you’ll like it, so please enjoy reading.

Thanks again.

I love you so much.

With love, Your sister.

PLEASE LISTEN TO TRIXIE (Y/N) COVER OF THE SONG HERE

#jungkook fic #bts jeon jeongguk #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook roommate au #jungkook x y/n #ficswithluv #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you

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jazeswhbhaven · 4 months

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Hang Up Raphael, I'm gonna get to know him better ♱♡‿♡♰ (Christmas Miracle L-Card PROLOGUE Spoilers I)

Hi hi once again lovelies, it is I your admin <;3 (i really need a name for you all to call me huh) Anyways, We're on to Raphael and I took way too many screencaps for this so I had to like pick and choose which ones I'm gonna use lol there were SO many good moments not to highlight. So just so you know, the beginning of it literally starts the same way as Michael's prologue with Minhyeok making a wish, us seeing his brother yadda ya (hmmm and here I thought it would be slightly different I guess not) And after that we're gonna dive right the fuck in. As per usual this is a two-parter, get yourself a snack and let's gooo ♨(⋆‿⋆)♨

So our MC was invited to Avisos in this story to celebrate x-mas but it's very different from what they're used to. Samba, festival clothing, parades, etc. Avisos be gettin' down I swear. But MC is over here like "the samba has nothing to do with-" Let them party. It's fine. Everyone celebrates differently and the Avisos citizens wanna shake their ass to some feel good music.

Naberius coming in to call them out on their thoughts, here is when I find out he can technically read minds so I'm gonna have to be careful around him...cause does that happen automatically or does he just do that when he feels like it?

I think it's cute he's feeding MC btw, but MC being guilty about what they said makes sense because it's like telling someone when you go over their house you don't like how they do something. Because you could...just wait until you get home or something don't tell me that while you're here lmao

So in this scene Naberius explains that he had the turkey cooked and made just because he knew humans ate two types of meat (really three if you feel) during christmas and wanted to make MC comfortable. It also sounds good as fuck because sauce was dripping down MC's chin.

But Naberius was treating it more like a chore than what a lover would, so this has me headcanon that Naberius is possibly part of the ace (asexual) family! now I'm unsure if he'd be demi, gray, or just full on ace but regardless, he's being cute feeding MC like this.

Meanwhile....

Our troublesome two...it's literally like watching two brothers fight and it's funny to me. Like Amon please don't take Stolas' juice T^T it was literally in his hand when he took it lmao

Also that sounds good too because it was fresh from a fruit bowl....my diet would be terrible in Avisos they eat so much and so many good foods ;.; (my ibs would probably kick my ass too)

So while Amon and Stolas are squabbling, Naberius is just like chiding them as per usual and MC asks where Bael is. He's working (poor bby let him REST) and this is when Naberius says that Amon and Stolas should be working too and only he was asked to look over MC during the festivities and that they usually have to patrol around because things get crazy lol

Stolas ofc is like yeah who the fuck cares we don't get to celebrate anyway so I'm taking this time to do so xD

He also adds that he's usually not outside during this time anyway because ppl annoy him with their happiness. (omfg Stolas is me on most days like why are all you outside? There's too many fucking ppl outside, go back to your own houses while I do grocery shopping then you can come back out)

Amon chimes in that Stolas likes staying in his dark room and how mature that is despite how he looks. Stolas gets really offended and threatens to kill him (that's on brand for our bird bby, he's so adorable)

ANYWAYS what Amon really does like to bring up that Stolas looks so young and honestly it's just like...I can see why he would be irriated about that coming up each time.

Amon ignores him of course and says he wants to make memories with MC (he's so fucking cute omfg) and Naberius whacks him on the head to remind him that he has work to do and he can't just be doing whatever.

AMON YOU CUTIE LOVE YOU <3333333 He's adorable, like I'd hang out with him all day if he wanted me to. (I also can imagine that since he gets flirty in the beel event, he'd probably feel comfortable enough to do a l o t more flirting when it's MC/you with him)

So Naberius brings in some lore about Avisos, bascially stating that they always need to celebrate something and there's no real reason for them to do so. As I stated before, this country loves to fucking party like I swear there was always something going on. He did bring up that he's slightly glad it's chilled out since the war (must of been that bad if a war makes him happy they stopped)

And MC is just like oh do you guys believe in Santa then or no?

And then our sexy sexy Beel boo enters the chat

He's so hot for this, thank you for bringing me gifts bby <3

So naturally all of his nobles are happy to see him, Amon especially and he brought them gifts!!!

He basically brought everyone back souvenirs from the places he's been. That's so thoughtful because he took time to think about what each person would like. This is also something I do when getting gifts for ppl and every day they reveal more about Beel it makes me be like "yup that's why I was paired with him"

Now we get to see what he got MC and oh.....

oh....

oh....................

Fuck

MC was just saying they were happy that they got to experience some adult items from Hell so they were grateful and would use it well, and while I love that response....

I would be creaming my pants already because I KNOW he bought that with the intention of MC using it with him and you know what....

I have immediate needs that need to be addressed and I'd let that be known.

But the topic of a christmas miracle starts being brought up again and Beel explains that there's always weird things happening in Hell around this time and well...he thinks it's best that you don't question it and just go with the flow

See? Don't think about trivial things, just let your mind be free. Don't stress about the things you don't know for now.

While that goes against every fiber of my nuerospicy brain to not know what the fuck is going on and not freak out about the things I don't know....i'll just let him distract me with that d*ck

And he's so cute he put his face all up in MCs and was like yeah we're going on a date later btw. After he was done delivering presents to the other citizens (he's getting the best bj known to man for this because what he got something for everyone?????)

BUT we are interrupted by some loud sounds...

So it seems once again Raphael, just like Michael just fucking crashed into shit without any warning only the funniest thing about Raph is that he was fucking eating the food at the stalls LMAO

Mans got priorities.

So we get some repeat lore about Raph, we got a little bit from the halloween event where it was Ppyong that explained how dangerous he was. And well from reading his comic he's literally as bloodthirsty as his seraph comrades...once he likes to play around and torment folks a bit. And if you're another angel that he does not like for any fucking reason yeah you're in the crossfire too. Raph's hands are rated E for everyone.

Naberius is over here growling and challenging him and Raph with those big balls of his (hehehe) is basically being like yeah you sent for me so don't trip. But that's the thing I don't think anyone particularly called for him...though it does seem like there's a specific angel that likes bothering a specific country. Raph-Avisos, Gabe-Gehenna, and Mike-Tartaros.

And then from here he starts giving critiques on the fucking meat and the customer service of the stalls and I'm like Raph bby.....why are you doing this lmao He's such a true villian because totally coming in and taking the local's food and still not satisfied with it tracks.

But....it seems my lovely peeps that tumblr has alerted me that's all the photos I can add here so we'll end it! Meet me in the next post <3

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb raphael #game playthrus🖤#raphael blurbs👼#whb event

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kamariya · 3 months

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i know the fandom loves to pretend that xie lian doesn't take care of himself but let's really think about it for a second. he doesn't have a penny to his name, he has no luck, no spiritual powers and no friends and family left in the mortal realm. how exactly should he take care of himself?

he eats food off the floor because it's better than going hungry. that's how many people in poverty live. he doesn't think twice before touching something that might poison him because when you don't receive medical attention for centuries, you're naturally going to adopt an "it is what it is" mentality about your health. he probably didn't get treated by a healer the first few times he got corpse poisoning because he didn't have enough (or any) money to pay them with. he's humble and ignores however which way he's slandered because what can he do? he's heard things like that and worse before.

800 years of poverty will teach anyone humility as well as strip them of it. 800 years of poverty and solitude can make anyone into a complete cynic, an abuser and/or worse.

but xie lian didnt break, not permanently. what jun wu put him through is nothing compared to what the world put him through. tell me this: is jun wu truly the real villain of the story? or is he a micro manifestation of all the other systematic issues in the TGCF universe, wrapped up into a shiny, evil package that's easier to hate, easier to digest and easier to fall for?

know that even though jun wu "set up" the fall of xianle, it was corruption and imperialism that truly brought the kingdom to its knees. know that teen xie lian truly fought for his people, be they patriots or rebels, and that the reason his efforts could never come to fruition was the corruption of the royals and the nobles.

in a world as systematically corrupt as that (much like our own), how easy do you think it would have been for a poor, homeless and friendless man to live a happy, fulfilling life (which he never lived)? and how much easier would it have been for him to gradually give away his morals and principles in favour of a better meal for once, for a better bed for the night? considering his martial skills and vast knowledge of cultivation, would it not have been easy for him to take a path like jun wu himself? like xue yang, even?

and do you think that xie lian did *not* do all these things just because he had "self-sacrificial" tendencies? after centuries of being only a little better than a beggar, do you think the reason he wants to help the common people is because he feels Rich Prince Guilt?

don't you think that the act of preserving oneself here, the act of not sacrificing onself for a cause, is actually whenever xie lian decides to keep following the path of justice, his Third Path? does self preservation only count when it's your body you're preserving, or your material wealth, or your name? surely your own principles matter more. surely you mean more than a fancy title on a tyrant's mouth.

place yourself in xie lian's shoes, and answer this: if you were to go through all that, even if you were to not become a horrible person, would have found and maintained the courage, time and time again, to keep being kind, to keep taking care of yourself, to not become heedlessly reckless, to not become a walking corpse with a noose (ruoye) wrapped around your neck?

in my opinion, xie lian is a hell of a lot positive for a man who's been through so much and never heard a "it's okay, you can rest now" once (until hua cheng came along, at least).

do you think xie lian doesn't feel bitterness towards lang qianqiu, who buried him with a stake through his heart for gods know how many years, because he just... hates himself? or do you think it's because he helped raise lang qianqiu since childhood and earned real respect and admiration from him, after so many years of being spat on, cursed and ultimately turned invisible? do you think he begged to be banished once again only because he felt guilty (although yes, he did feel very guilty) for the terrible fate that befell lqq's family, or because he also genuinely cares about what happens to his people --- he protected the xianle remnants by setting himself up as a cold-hearted murderer, and he protected lqq by refusing to fight him.

do you think that being so old and having seen so much, xie Lian can't tell danger when it's looking him in the eye? he's not stupid. he doesn't neglect his safety until and unless it's to protect someone he cares about. e.g., when he tried his level best to protect shi qingxuan during the Blackwater arc, knowing that he's fighting things and people beyond his control. my point: it didn't matter if he failed. he had to try, just like he tried with his kingdom, and the kingdom that came next. sqx was the first person after hua cheng to befriend and defend him in a long time, and he wanted to show him the same courtesy. can this be reduced to "self-sacrificing" tendencies or "playing the hero", too?

when xie lian stepped out of that bridal sedan, he knew he was playing with fire, but he's not stupid. if he hadn't stepped out, who is to say that crimson rain sought flower wouldn't have entered on his own, or dragged him out forcefully? xie lian isn't a "you only live once, let's make bad decisions" person. xie lian is a "no matter how many lives i live, i will not change" person.

#why do so many people think that xie lian is stupid or just trying to die when he does Literally Anything?#like i promise you people like him have existed and do exist IRL #real people do fight for humanity real people do fight for their loved ones #real people do fight for their fellow citizens ... people are capable of doing Good Things #without just being “people pleasers”#xie lian couldn't be further from a people pleaser ... that guy practises radical love and acceptance #that's the point !! that he cares for humanity in all its forms !!#and no I'm not saying that he doesn't struggle with guilt and self-acceptance at all #he def does!! we see him do that !!#but i dont think it's fair to reduce every good thing he does to him “compensating” for when he couldn't save his falling kingdom #tgcf #mxtx meta #tgcf meta #heaven official's blessing #天官赐福 #swan stuff #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #long post

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the-traveling-poet · 7 months

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Soft Touch

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Just another average day in the Scouts, or so you thought. When messes are created, you try your best to clean them before your Captain sees and loses his shit. Again.

Little did you know, a broken plate in the mess hall would bring you and Levi closer together.

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Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader (using Y/N-L/N)

Warnings: None, just slow burn fluff for our lonely Cap’n. Mild language use.

(SFW)

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A/N: First writing post, not sure how this will go over but we’re giving it a shot nonetheless (:

══════════════════════

Great, something else to piss him off further.

Despite the soft glow of midday sunlight filtering in through the windows of HQ lighting up the halls with soothing golden light, and the clear blue skies outside base that promised yet another warm and relaxing beautiful summer day for those in the Survey Corps to enjoy, you were worried.

Everyone had woken up that morning to an average day in the Corps. Everything was as it had always been, and always should be.

Early morning training, a quick breakfast, running errands for the higher ups, sparring practice before lunch time rolled around....Everything was peaceful since no expeditions outside the walls had been planned anytime soon, and everyone adorned a smile on their face and let lose a laugh or two.

But only when he wasn't around.

And that's what had gotten you into this current situation.

You stood before a mess on the dining hall's floor. Plates, bowls, and a couple mugs had been hazardously tossed off a table after lunch and onto the stone floor below, shattering them and scattering food everywhere. You sighed, then nealt down to begin clearing the shards of ceramics before wiping and mopping away the food stains.

Please don't come in here....Please don't come in here....

Ever since their early morning training, everyone had taken note of Captain Levi's foul mood. It seems he had woken up on the wrong side of his bed and was taking it out on the world. Curses would fly, extra work loads would be handed out as punishments for those who had slacked off to enjoy the weather or joke with their peers, and many scoffs and defeated sighs were heard leaving his mouth as he took over the sparring courses for the day.

Everyone knew on days like this, it was best to just do as he said quickly and without question or complaint, less you risk making the situation worse.

You wondered what it was this time, that had gotten him so worked up. The last you’d seen of him was at the beginning of lunch in the dinning hall. Instead of taking a seat and eating a meal with his co-captains, he stomped into the kitchen, grabbed a fresh mug of tea, and stomped back out. Most likely, you assumed, to return to his office.

Perhaps I should go check on him? Is that appropriate of a cadet?

You had cleared the ceramic shards and placed them in a small bin you retrieved from the kitchens, and set to work on the leftover scraps that now littered the table's bench and the floor below.

Just then, the large wooden doors leading into the dining hall opened, and you stiffened. The footsteps at the door paused for a second, then a tired sigh echoed the otherwise empty room from the person who entered. Immediately, you were on your feet and spun to face them, trying your best to hide the disaster behind your frame.

Captain Levi stood at the door, one hand on the brass handle he still held while the other came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His sharp eyes snapped up to your face and narrowed. You were quick to salute him.

"Captain! Can I help you?"

He took a moment to answer, his eyes wandering over the mess you were so poorly hiding with your body.

"Was this you?"

You winced and turned your eyes back to the food on the floor, feeling guilty despite this mess not being your fault.

"No, sir. But I'm taking care of it as quickly and efficiently as I can, sir."

Levi seemed to ponder a moment before signing once more. He rolled up his sleeves as he made his way over to you, eyes trained on the mess.

"Go fetch some gloves from the storage room. You'll either cut yourself on those shards, or dirty your hands in that shit." He said absentmindedly.

Now that he was closer to you, you could clearly make out the dark circles forming under his eyes, and red veins webbing across the sclera of his eyes. His hair wasn't neatly combed as it always seemed to be, and his clothes were slightly wrinkled.

He didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed; he never went to bed...

"Yes, sir," You saluted and hurried out of the room. Once you returned as quickly as you could, Levi was already near the table with another scrap bucket and white cloths covering his head to protect his hair, and over the lower section of his face to shield his nose and mouth. Shaking your head at the undeniably adorable sight, you briskly walked over to him and handed him his gloves.

"Thanks, L/N," he mumbled as he slipped them on.

"Of course, Captain," you nodded.

Suddenly, he sighed deeply once more.

"Captain this, Captain that. It's all I've heard for three straight days. Just Levi, please," he groaned.

You paused as you reached for some bread crusts to throw into the bin. You was at a loss for words and just stared blankly at him.

"Don't make me repeat myself brat, I hate repeating myself."

"Uh, yes sir! Levi, sir." You managed to stutter out a responce.

"Now, let's get this shit cleaned up before another brat decides to come in here and trip over this or make it worse." Levi grumbled as he tossed scraps into the scrap bin.

You hummed in agreement, too lost in your own thoughts to respond.

He seems a bit more approachable right now...Perhaps now would be a good time to offer him some help?

"Cap- Levi, sir?" You began slowly.

"What." He barely spared you his attention, but you could see he was listening.

"Well...I wondered if you were alright?"

His eyes snapped up to yours in an instant, a slight indent in his brow.

"What do you mean, L/N?"

"I just mean that, you seem on edge today? And I wondered if there was something wrong." You rephrased yourself quickly, fearing his reaction.

Levi thought for a moment, studying your face intently. "I'm fine, Y/N. Get back to cleaning."

Just as Levi's hand reached for a half eaten bagel on the floor, you blurted out; "You haven't slept for awhile, have you?"

The look on his face made you immediately regret you boldness.

But instead of saying anything, he just sighed and turned his gaze away.

"Can't seem to. Too much work, too many troubling thoughts."

He went to lower his facial cloth, but forgot his gloved hand had recently been picking through discarded food scraps on the floor. A dark stain was left on his cheek from where the glove had made contact with his face.

"Son of a bitch!" He ripped the cloth off his face and the glove off his hand as he let curses fly. It seems he had finally reached his limits, and his frustrations were now being taken out verbally to the food on the floor, as if it was the cause of all his pains and misfortunes. If he wasn't so down, and you didn't care for him so much, you might have laughed. But instead, you thought of something else.

Impulsively, you took your own gloves off and grabbed a handkerchief from your uniform coat pocket and reached out to wipe the stain away.

When your hand came into contact with his face, Levi flinched, and then stiffened. His mouth hung half open in surprise and his eyes widened almost comically. Taking this opportunity of silence from him, you gently wiped away the gunk before discarding the handkerchief into the scrap bin.

For a moment though, you let your now bare hand trail across his cheek and was amused to see the rising color in his face.

"Levi?" you asked softly.

"Uh-I...What?" Levi stammered, trying to compose himself. He was obviously caught off guard.

"Let me help, okay? You're not completely alone here in HQ." You smiled bashfully.

Levi was silent a moment longer, then nodded with yet another tired sigh. But this time, you could have sworn it sounded more like a quiet sigh of relief.

"I....I'd like that, Y/N. Thank you."

And for the first time, you saw Levi crack a small, brief smile of gratitude. The corner of his lips lifted ever so slightly, but his eyes showed the emotion behind his minute smile.

Perhaps you’d get to see his smiles more often now that he was allowing himself to warm up to his cadet a little more.

══════════════════════

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #aot x you #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #levi ackerman #snk levi #levi x you #levi aot #levi ackerman x reader #aot fanfiction #aot x y/n #aot x female reader #aot x gn!reader #gn!reader #gn!y/n #levi ackerman fluff

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joels-shitty-puns · 5 months

Text

The Key To Your Heart - Track 9

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Panic/Anxiety attack. Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.7K

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 8? Here!

Hi everyone!! I really don't feel great about this chapter, I'm sorry if it sucks. I kinda just want to get it out there though because I don't see my brain thinking up anything better. A lot of writer's block surrounding this scene. Anywho, hopefully next chapter will be better, but I still hope you like it. Although we allude to a little bit of sexual situations now that they are together, I likely will avoid explicit smut being that Pedro is a real human and I am a guilty, guilty human for writing any smut at all. I don't want to offend Pedro (not that he'd ever see it anyway, I am delusional), but I also know people find real person fiction uncomfy as a whole. That being said, I think this story may be coming to a close pretty soon. I plan to have maybe one more full storyline chapter, and at least one little side bonus chapter :) Please let me know what you think in the comments, or DM me if you wanna chat! I love hearing all your thoughts. Thank you for reading and hanging in here with me.

Before the screen even had a chance to load, you canceled the request. Nervously looking at Pedro, he held your hand under the table. “What is it?” he asked gently.

“I just realized,” you replied. “What if they ask about us? About those pictures? What should I say?”

Pedro answered with a gentle stroke of his thumb on your cheek. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever you say, baby. I know your privacy is important to you, and I trust you. I'm all in with you.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath and once again began the stream.

“Live in 3…”

“2…”

“1…”

The fans began to file in, and before you knew it, you had thousands of viewers. Opting to start with your screen covered, you wanted to give an intro first before the big reveal.

It wasn't long before the comments flowed across the screen.

You took a deep breath, squeezing Pedro’s hand, and jumping in. “Hi everyone! It's me… a lot has been happening lately and I decided it might be time to show a little more of myself.”

-“First!”

-“Did she mean to start a live video ??"

-"Hiii! I'm a big fan"

-“Is she there??”

-“Do you guys see anything?”

“So… Here's me.” You turned on your camera, waving at the screen, your stomach twisting in deeper knots.

-“No fucking way.”

-“!?!!!!!”

-“SCREAMING”

“Hi… Some of you might know me, some might be surprised. But this is me. This is the girl behind the music.”

The comments flooded in, entirely too fast for you to read.

“I want to thank all of you for being fans and listening to my songs. It really means a lot and I hope you liked the album. Your support blows me away, especially with what little information about myself I've given.”

More comments.

“Well, I uh… guess I should read some of these comments and answer some questions. I'm sure there’s a lot you all are wondering about,” you stated nervously, starting to read.

-“Why did you hide your identity?”

“Why did I hide my identity… I hid my identity mostly based on poor self image. I never expected my music to gain popularity, never expected celebrities to know it. Never expected any of it, and it certainly brought its share of criticism. I was scared to be in the spotlight and I didn't feel like I looked good enough to be someone famous. You know? I'm not skinny, I have flaws, and that doesn't always sit well with the Internet. I guess I was mainly scared of how I would be perceived. I'm just a normal girl who had her whole life flipped upside down when I wrote my feelings down,” you laughed anxiously.

Choosing to ignore the storm brewing in the comments below, you addressed the earlier comment. “Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I can make you feel more accepted by seeing more plus-sized people in the entertainment business. Everyone should feel seen and have a place at the table, no matter what you look like, or who you are.”

-“I think it's nice to have more celebrities that look kinda like me.”

-“You're so humble!!”

-“You should've stayed hidden lmao”

-“Shut up, asshole. Why are you here if you're going to be rude?”

-“I'm sure you're a real supermodel behind that keyboard bravery.. smh”

You weren't expecting someone to actually feel like you were representing them and making them feel seen. You didn't think you had enough of an impact for that. You certainly weren't treated that way when you weren't famous. Nobody really even noticed you before.

You could feel Pedro’s eyes on your face, his thumb swirling circles and hearts over the space of skin on the top of your hand, below your thumb. The place where his bullseye resides on his own. Does he trace that tattoo when he's nervous, the same way he is with me? Perhaps his tracing of your hand is calming himself as much as it is for you.

Desperately, you wanted to look over at him and be comforted by his deep brown eyes, but doing so would cause people to wonder who you made eye contact with and smiled at. So instead, you gave a gentle squeeze and a smile towards the screen, hoping he would understand.

-“Hi, I'm a big fan of yours. Can I ask… is what you said on your album true? You've never been kissed before? I haven't either and I was starting to feel like I'm just a freak.”

“Oh, honey, you aren't a freak. Everyone has things happen at different times in their life. But yes, everything I wrote in my album at the time I wrote it was true. And don't worry, I have felt the same way. Seeing others be kissed, falling in love… having the things I wasn't, it really hurts. But it'll be okay.. nothing is wrong with you. You're deserving of love.”

You hoped they wouldn't pick up on your usage of past-tense wording. Pedro, still holding your hand, rubbed his other hand over your arm gently.

-“Wait… at the time you wrote it? What about now?”

The comments were going wild.

Welp…

Your hands shook, and you used your opposite hand to place on top of Pedro’s that gripped yours. He squeezed gently, feeling the nervous tremors pass through your body, continuing to rub gentle strokes over your arm with his opposite hand.

“Uhm…” your cheeks heated and your stomach sank.

“I've changed a lot since this album was first written. Experienced new things. But I'm still the same person.”

Shit.

-“Who did you kiss?! Is it the guy in your song?”

-“Will you tell us who the song is about?”

-“Wait a second… you're that girl aren't you!?!!!! The one in the pictures with Pedro Pascal!!!!”

-“OMG IT IS”

-“!!!!!!!”

-“IS HE THE GUY!?!”

-“ARE YOU DATING!?!”

The nervous tremors continued, now threatening to cause your teeth to chatter. A full panic attack was brewing. Pedro squeezed your hand again, touching your knee and trying to do his best to ground you without speaking up on your live video. Skipper could feel the waves of anxiousness pooling off of you as well and crawled forward to settle his body across your feet. You took a few calming breaths, but when you went to speak, your voice still betrayed you.

“I..” your voice cracked, shakiness evident as you could feel tears starting to edge their way towards your vision.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I need to shut it off.

You shut your eyes, taking deep breaths, trying to ease your nausea and stress.

Keeping your eyes closed, you spoke. “Yes.”

You took another deep breath. “Yes it was me, yes the song was about him. Yes.”

You opened your eyes to read the comments, tears pooling down your cheeks as you couldn't hold back your emotion anymore.

This is so embarrassing. The first time I show my face I'm crying and having an anxiety attack in front of the whole world.

You swallowed, choking back the full sobs that your body wanted to let loose. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you began to read the comments, expecting laughter, criticism, and bullying. Instead, you were met with kindness.

Coming back to your senses, you gave a shaky smile. “Thank you guys. I'm sorry for my emotions.” You sniffled. Pedro was still rubbing your hands and arms, comforting you, having never stopped. His eyes still bore into the side of your head, and you knew he was struggling to not speak up or grab you fully.

-“Oh my God, are you okay?”

-“I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry”

-“You and Pedro make a cute couple”

-“Oh no, please don't cry”

-“Idk if you guys are dating but you seem cute”

-“I'm so glad you guys are spending time together when he's the guy in your song”

-“It'll be okay, please don't be upset”

-“You're amazing, we love you”

“Yes, Pedro and I have been spending a lot of time talking after he publicly commented on my song a few months ago. The party was the first time we met in person and we're still figuring things out,” you let go of your worries and broke eye contact with the camera, looking to your side to meet Pedro’s gaze. “But… we're happy.” You smiled at him. He smiled back gently, squeezing your hand, worry and sadness plaguing his face over your well-being. Breaking eye contact, you looked back at the screen.

You giggled before answering “well, I think that's all we have time for today. Thank you all for joining me!” You silently clicked off the stream, closing the browser, turning off the computer, and turning to Pedro. He grabbed your other hand in his, now holding both. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern etched in his face.

-“AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

-“IS HE THERE WITH YOU!?!”

-“whaaaaat”

-“SCREAMING”

-“Shut. Up. This is insane.”

-“YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE I CAN'T TAKE IT”

“I think so,” you nodded.

“Seeing you panic and not being able to do anything without potentially making it worse… It killed me. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pull you into my arms and end that video myself. I hated seeing you so upset.” He stared down at your intertwined hands, rubbing his thumb over them again.

“I appreciate you being here for me,” you let go of his hand to stroke his cheek. “I couldn't have done that without you.” You met his eyes, leaning forward to rest against his forehead. He let out a shaky breath. “I love you. I'm so proud of you.”

“I love you too,” you replied with a smile. “Let's move to the couch, huh?” You asked, pulling him up from the chair. He stood, just as your phone rang, a call from Rose. You quickly answered.

“I saw the live stream. You did wonderful! Don't worry about any of the negative comments you saw or any stories that come out of this. I'll handle it all.”

“Thanks, Rose.”

“Anytime. Take care.” She hung up.

You updated Pedro as the two of you walked towards the couch. “Do you want breakfast?” He asked.

“Maybe in a minute. Can I just hold onto you for a few minutes?”

“I would love nothing more.”

He sat on the couch, you sitting next to him, before he gave you a look. “What?” you laughed. He patted his leg.

“Let me hold you.”

“I'm too heavy for that Pedro, don't be ridiculous,” you shook your head.

“You're the one being ridiculous.” He reached over, pulling you into his lap. “I'm too heavy! You're going to hurt yourself,” you whined.

“You're not too heavy. You're the perfect size, baby. Come here,” he pulled you forward, your body sliding down his thighs as he wrapped his arms around you. You straddled his lap, knees on either side of his hips while he rubbed your back gently. You placed your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck and closing your eyes. You both sighed, and he grabbed a blanket next to him to pull over your bodies. “I could stay like this for hours, wrapped in your arms” you sighed comfortably.

“Why don't you?” He turned his head to kiss your lips. You lifted your face up, taking your head off his shoulder to kiss him deeper. The kisses were lazy and comfortable, holding each other and enjoying the warmth of being in each other's arms.

Finally the two of you broke the kiss, settling back on his shoulder, him tilting his head to lean against yours. His hands sprawled over your back, pulling you forward a bit to adjust in his lap. You let out a soft whimper at the contact, fully aware of the location your bodies connected at the moment. “Feel how much you mean to me?” He asked, his breath ghosting your ear as he pulled your hips forward again. You whined. “Yes..” you answered breathlessly. The temptation to keep doing that was overwhelming. But he once again wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back as the two of you comfortably dozed off, finally relaxed after so much stress of the morning.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling Pedro still underneath you. At the feel of you moving, he stretched a bit before settling with his arms around you again. “Morning, baby” he hummed. “Guess we fell asleep,” you smiled.

“Some of the best sleep I've had in a while, here with you.”

“Same here.” You blinked your eyes open, kissing him on the lips with a peck. “What time is it?”

He turned his head to look at the clock on your TV. “5 o’clock” he laughed. “Guess we both needed some rest.”

“Mmmm, I guess so,” you hummed, settling into him more.

“Good thing I brought nonperishables. Are you hungry?”

You pondered. “Yeah, I am,” you looked into his deep brown eyes. “Breakfast for dinner?” You smiled at him.

“Sounds perfect.” He pecked your lips before you slid off his lap, the two of you standing to stretch. It wasn't long that you two stood apart before you leapt forward again to give him a hug. He laughed, hugging you back. “I'll never get tired of being in your arms,” you smiled into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“I'll never get tired of holding you in mine,” he pulled his face back to look at you.

“Now let's eat! I'm starved,” you scampered towards the kitchen, him giving a gentle pat to your butt before hugging you from behind as you grabbed the breakfast foods. You giggled, setting food on plates as he kissed your neck, still wrapped around you from behind. “I'm starving too,” he replied back to your earlier statement with a growl, biting your ear.

“Pedro!” You giggled, smacking his arm gently. He chuckled, pulling away and grabbing his plate as you both headed to the table.

The two of you ate, filling the space with light conversation, both of you occasionally sneaking Skipper some bites under the table. He could get used to having two humans spoiling him.

The chatter came to a natural pause, eating in silence and smiling at each other across the table. Pedro stopped eating, wiping his hands and continuing to stare at you. You laughed, asking him what was up. Suddenly, he looked nervous.

“I, uh…” he rubbed his neck. “I was going to wait until after we had at least a first date to say this, but…” he trailed off, and your mind spiraled. Is he breaking up with me? Is he not interested anymore? What's wrong?

“I was wondering if… you'd be my girlfriend? Exclusively?” His cheeks flushed.

You stammered, dropping your fork on the plate. “You… you want… me to be your girlfriend?” You smiled.

He nodded. “If… you'll have me.”

“You want to be my boyfriend?” He nodded again, looking down at the table.

“Yes. Yes, are you kidding? Please! I'd love nothing more.” You grinned, jumping out of your chair to move to him.

He stood, pulling you into a hug. “Really?” He smiled at you.

“Really,” you nodded. “Now kiss me,” you held his face.

“Gladly,” he pulled you closer, kissing you deeply, his tongue asking for entrance to your mouth. You squealed, surprised, but letting him in. You'd never experienced this sensation before. But it was… incredible.

He licked your lips, the two of you exploring the inside of each other's mouths, tongues dancing together. The kiss was heated and deeper than ever before, both of you finally pulling away for air, him coming back in to peck your lips a few times, sucking your lip between his own. You sighed shakily. “Wow.”

“I love kissing you,” he smiled against your lips.

“I love kissing you. You're a good kisser,” you smiled back.

“So are you,” he smirked. “My beautiful girlfriend.” He gave a kiss. “How about that date tomorrow?” He pulled away to look at you, letting his hand rub across your lower back, just above your butt.

“I'd love to,” you stroked his face. “My handsome boyfriend.” You wrapped your arms around him again, blissfully.

“Tomorrow,” you two sighed in unison.

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors

Thank you for reading!!! Let me know what you think ❤️

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal rpf #rpf #key to your heart

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harunayuuka2060 · 1 year

Text

Leona: I don't understand why we're doing this.

Ruggie: Hey, but admit it. It's kind of fun. Not your usual writing your research papers.

Kalim: *yells from afar* Leona! How's your investigation??

Jamil: Kalim, mind your own business. We still need to gather evidence for the mystery they tasked us.

Kalim: But our stories need to be aligned, right?

Jamil: *facepalm* Yes and no. Sensei specifically asked that we do our own task and once we're done, we shouldn't bother the others.

Kalim: Aww...

Leona and Ruggie: ...

Leona: This is going to be chaotic.

Ruggie: Yep. Definitely.

Riddle: Hmm...

Riddle: This is not adding up!

Jade: The alibis have to make sense for them to work.

Azul: You need to do your job right because we're going to re-enact that.

Floyd: I like being the suspect.

Malleus: What are you all doing?

Them: AH!

Riddle: Oh. It's you, Malleus-senpai.

Azul: We're currently solving a mystery.

Malleus: Mystery? Like solving them?

Floyd: Hm... Not exactly. You see, MC-sensei asked us to do one of the steps.

Jade: And ours should be in line with the others.

Malleus: Hm. I didn't know mysteries could be solved like that.

Azul: Floyd and I will be the actors showing how the mystery worked.

Azul: While Riddle and Jade are tasked to arrange the alibis and select which ones are plausible.

Malleus: *nods* I see. May I sit in to your class to watch?

Riddle: Well, MC-sensei wouldn't mind the least. So yes, you could.

MC: *chuckles* I'm quite excited for this. Are you feeling the same, sophomores?

The sophomores: Hell, yes!!!

MC: *laughs* *then noticed Malleus* Oh! We have a third-year here! Hello, Mr. Draconia~!

Malleus: I apologize for not asking you first before I came here, sensei.

MC: No worries! You've asked Mr. Rosehearts. That should be fine.

Riddle: ...

Riddle: How—

MC: Now, I believed everyone have completed their tasks. Let's see how your stories would be aligned.

Malleus: *has been cackling since he came back from Professor MC's class*

Lilia: Malleus? Malleus? Care to share what happened?

Malleus: It was hilarious.

Lilia: *pouts* Just tell me already.

Silver: You can ask me, father. I was there too.

Lilia: Alright. So what happened?

Silver: We were tasked to complete a mystery. We completed each a step and we started off good. Leona and Ruggie provided what was the mystery within the situation and who were likely the suspects.

Silver: Sensei applauded them, but that was when the chaos started.

Silver: The second step up to the last didn't match with what Leona and Ruggie's group provided.

Silver: The only saving grace we had was when Floyd and Azul managed to guess how the victim died.

Malleus: Rosehearts' team had guessed that it was due to a powerful curse and the reason behind it was jealousy, however— *starts laughing again*

Silver: It was only a huge misunderstanding. The suspects were guilty of attempted murder for trying to poison the victim's food. But the victim...

Silver: ...

Malleus: *still laughing*

Silver: Just died from choking...

Silver: After eating a huge meatball.

Lilia: ...

Lilia: Wow.

Malleus: And the meatball wasn't even poisoned—

Crowley: Professor MC, the third-years are now requesting for you to be their teacher as well.

MC: Hmm... That's too sudden.

Crowley: Mr. Draconia has shown some interests in your class which is a really good thing.

MC: Hehe~ Headmage, since my workload seems to be increasing... Does that mean I'm getting a raise?

Crowley: ...

Crowley: How much do you want?

MC: My mom's birthday is next week and I badly want to treat her to something fancy.

Crowley: Er... Double?

MC: Yes. Thank you~.

#twisted wonderland #twst mc #twst leona #twst ruggie #twst jamil #twst kalim #twst riddle #twst azul #twst jade #twst floyd #twst malleus #twst silver #twst lilia #twst crowley #twst professor mc

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derangedanomaly · 20 days

Note

Hiii!

Can I please request headcanons for Horror!Bros and Dust that has a crush with they s/o?

Thank you, hope you are doing well! <3

Thank you for the request! Sorry for the delay! I'm doing quite well, hope you're also doing great! ^^

MASTERLIST

HORRORTALE BROTHERS +DUST HAVING A CRUSH ON READER (separate)

HORROR:

Horror would feel a tug on his soul if you won't show any fear towards him. He doesn't like to be portrayed as scary, even though he is :(

After he gains a crush on you... He'd probably get like..super territorial. He's afraidthat something's gonna happen to you.

Horror will likely follow you around. To make sure you're ok.

He's like your guard dog. 💀

He sometimes refuses to cooperate if you're not involved. 😭

He melts really quickly if you touch the edges of his cracked skull. He doesn't normally let people touch him there, as it's uncomfortable, and gives him PTSD.. but somehow, while you're doing it, he feels love and affection.. and he digs it!

You have a lot of advantages. There are many things that Horror lets you only do. (How lucky.)

You two act so much like a married couple, that people often confuse you two for such. (And you're not even dating yet)

Horror would probably confess to you due to pressure.. he was nervous and thought you wouldn't like him back, so he hesitated, but after your constant pestering of what he wants to ask of you, he blurted it out.

The final question stands..... Will you return his feelings?

AXE:

Axie (yes, that's my new nickname for him 🫶) would probably catch feelings if you took a really big liking to his food. (He's not gonna tell you the contents of the food 💀)

Congrats! You unknowingly became a cannibal!!

He would, much like Horror, follow everywhere you go, after he gains a crush on you.

He's such a charmer though... He'll give you lots of compliments, not even once flustered about giving them to you!

He'll probably make it his mission to woo you, after he figures out his feelings.

Axie will often offer to help you with anything you're doing.

It's his guilty pleasure to watch everything you do, from the side. You could be just writing or eating, and he'd be sat near you, gazing at you with blushing cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes.

As confident as he is, he would stall the confession for as long as he could. He's not confessing until he's 90% sure you feel the same!

In short: if anyone's confessing, it should be you. He's never gonna convince himself to actually DO it. 😭

DUST:

Dust would gain a crush on you the moment you start talking about his favorite interest with sparkles in your eyes. Knowing you're also into that thing, is probably a huge comfort to him.

He'll probably take a sneakier approach to this newfound crush of his. You know... Slowly but surely dragging you around, or the other way around.

He's actually kinda shy, weirdly enough.

He will watch over you like a knight though. You can be sure that you're 100% safe with him, he sure as hell won't let anything happen to you. He can't lose another light in his life!

He'll probably be really patient with you.

Probably the most respectful of the bunch (besides Horror). He just can't let you feel any sort of discomfort around him! That's the last thing he wants :(

The confession would be probably carefully thought about beforehand, and really romantic.

He plans the confession for like a month, because he wants it to be just perfect!

And it is perfect. He'd give you flowers while he's confessing his feelings to you.

You have them wrapped around your finger. Yet again. Which one is your favorite? :3

#undertale #undertale fandom #sans undertale #sans x reader #horror sans x reader #horror papyrus x reader #dust sans x reader

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