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sekiars · 2 years

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Blair PO#02

- Hello! Hello!

- Who’s there?

- It’s me, the one who’s been here all along.

- Who are you?

- I’m the past, the present, and the future. I’m the one who’s always here.

- I don’t understand.

- You never do, my child. But I’m still here, looking out for you.

- Who are you? Hello? Hello?

- / / -

- Damn, that same dream again.

I woke up covered in sweat again, this has been happening almost every week, I always have the same dream and I never know who’s talking to me. Let me take off my dress and take a bath. I hate having to change my bedsheets whenever this happens, stupid fucking dream! My hands are already sore from having to wash them all the damn time. I should leave this to my mom and tell her what’s happening, but if I do this she’ll probably get worried and take me back to him. And I don’t want to go back there, everything that I’m going through is already quite a weight on my back, I don’t need to go there again just so that everyone can laugh at me again, everyone’s always so eager to point fingers in my direction and see all the flaws, throwing them at my face as if I were some kind of robot.

- I do have emotions as well! Just because everything is so volatile doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.

Let me go take a bath already, it’s twelve past six and I might get late if I keep beating around the bush.

- Firstly we take the right hand, then the left hand, lastly the head, put the dress over the toilet and now take off the panties, fold them to the right first and then to the left and lastly up… Done!

Damn it! Six-thirty, better hurry up. Let me turn on the shower, perfect! There’s nothing like a nice warm shower during a cold day. I probably shouldn’t be wasting my time washing my hair, let me see… It’s okay, I could probably wash it tomorrow otherwise I might catch a cold. Hmm… I wonder if I should try dyeing my hair, being blonde is kinda getting boring.

- No! Focus!

I don’t want to be late again, let me brush my teeth… now let me wash my body… Okay, everything’s ready and it’s still twenty to seven, now let me grab some new clothes, ah! I can’t forget to pick up the dirty clothes to put in the laundry.

- Hmmm… What should I wear?

I could probably use my favorite t-shirt since it’s Friday, why not commemorate a little bit the start of the weekend?

- But what should I wear with it?

A skirt? No, it’s too cold for that. Jeans? Well, better get my new pair. Perfect, now let me grab a bra and some new undies. These will do, I’m not trying to impress anyone anyway. Now let me put on some makeup… I guess we should go with my red lipstick and some blush so that I don’t look like a walking corpse.

Seven o’clock, and I’m all done, let me see what mom made for breakfast.

- Oh, Hi Marble, did you sleep well?

Damn this cat has been getting lazier as the days go by, it didn’t even lift his lazy ass to say hi to me.

- Good morning mom.

- Good morning sweetie.

- I’ll probably arrive later today, I’m going to Amanda’s house to borrow some books to study for the finals.

- Okay, just be careful on the way home.

Pancakes again, well, I can’t be picky with mom, ever since my father left us she’s been feeling quite down and unmotivated to do her everyday chores. And now that she had to find a job it’s even more ungrateful of me to say anything. She even managed to find time to make something for breakfast. I wonder if I were less incompetent that dad wouldn’t have left us. Fuck! Fifteen past seven, I’m gonna be late! Let me eat pancakes and go already.

Now let me grab my shoes and a pair of socks and go…

- And don’t forget your backpack silly.

Let me go grab it. Where is it? Damn it I swear I left it here right next to my lamp.

- Mom! Have you seen my backpack?

- It’s right here on the sofa sweetie.

- Thanks.

- You’re welcome.

That’s right, I left it on the sofa because I was so goddamn tired yesterday.

- Fuck, forgot the dirty clothes up here. I should take them to the laundry.

Okay, everything’s done, the dirty clothes are in the laundry, my backpack is here and I’m dressed… Oops, almost forgot my coat. Now let’s go, if I go now, I can get my bus on time.

- Bye, mom.

- Bye sweetie, Love you.

Man, I wish I could be more loving with my mom, but I’m always so cold and negative about everything. Maybe… That’s why dad left us.

Okay, let me think. I gotta be at the university by eight if I don’t want to lose Mrs. Caroll’s lecture, which is at ten past eight. I take a total of fifteen minutes walking to my bus, which arrives at seven-thirty, then, it takes thirty minutes to arrive at university. If this path takes around twenty minutes to get to the bus stop, I should better go through that shortcut behind Mr. Blake’s house. Right, let’s go.

- Man, these shoes sure do look dirty.

I should go and wash them after I arrive home. Now that I’m thinking about it, I should also go and clean Marble’s litter box and also finish that paper from Mr. Wright’s class since it’s due on Monday. That’s so much stuff to do, I’ll probably take forever to finish everything, and even then, I would still need to start studying for the finals, which starts in two weeks. After that, I have to pack my stuff cause we’re going to Minnesota for the holidays. Marble hates my Aunt’s dog so I should probably ask Amanda if she could take care of Marble during the holidays. Or maybe I should ask James, I don’t know. Uh? I’m already at the bus stop? It’s twenty past seven, I arrived here earlier than I expected. I probably went running and thinking about all that stuff made me forget about the time.

- Well, at least now I won’t arrive late for Mrs. Caroll’s lecture.

Maybe I could even go and send a message to Amanda just to check if she got the books.

- Hey, did u manage to get the books from Lucy?

- Yeah, why?

- Nothing, just making sure.

- But I told u I picked them up yesterday.

- Oh right, sry.

- See u at Mrs. Janine’s class.

I should have remembered that she said that, now she probably thinks that I was thinking that she was lying. I should talk to her later and fix this, I think it’s better to tell her now.

- It’s not like I thought u were lying or anything…

- It’s ok, did u take ur meds?

- Fuck!

I knew I was forgetting something! What am I going to do now? It’s too late to go back home and I can’t ask mom to deliver them to me, it’s the end of the month and she needs to work, she might not even have some time to have lunch.

- No, forgot it cause I was late today :/

- Just try not to overthink too much and everything will be ok :)

- Thanks, Amanda.

I should stay calm, I already forgot to take the meds yesterday because I was too tired and now because I was late. Maybe I’m overreacting, they shouldn’t cause any negative effects yet because it hasn’t been twenty-four hours after the first dose of each of the meds. I should probably look on the internet about the side effects of them.

- Wait!

Thank God, I almost lost the bus, I have to stop daydreaming like this, sooner or later I’ll end up causing an accident when I’m driving, or I might get run over by a car. “Is that even a bad idea?” No, I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Let me go take a seat.

I should probably listen to some music just so I can get my thirty minutes of peace, let me listen to that new band James told me about, while I take some time to relax a little bit…

Wait! Where am I? seven fifty-five, my station is the next one. That was close, I shouldn’t be sleeping on the bus, especially with all those cases of perverts on the bus. I better not sleep on the bus again. “You will.”

- Eight o’clock, right on time!

Just gotta walk to the third floor and I’ll be right on time, I can even go and take the elevator instead of taking the stairs. I wonder if anyone else feels uncomfortable taking the elevator? I mean, I don’t like taking the elevator because I don’t like being surrounded by other people. “It’s because they will laugh at your face, they’ll judge you. And you know that.”

Five past eight, right on time to get to my favorite spot and plug in my laptop. All done, now let me check about those side effects… Let me see… Cancer… Possible weight loss… Tiredness… Here, abstinence. Hmm… There’s nothing here about possible problems due to abstinence of fewer than twenty-four hours. Well, there must be something, let me check on another site… Nothing again. “There’s nothing abnormal, you’ve always been like that.”

Sigh… I should better stop looking, the class might start soon. Wait, it’s nine o’clock?! The class is almost over! How the hell did I manage to waste so much time on that? Well, I should focus then on taking note of what I can and ask someone for notes later.

- Man, I should probably talk to Loraine about these blackouts during the day. They didn’t start after the meds, they were with me for quite a long time, throughout my teenage years up until now. I wonder if there’s anything we can do about that. That problem and the dark thoughts that keep coming to my head, they’re not good for me and have been upsetting me quite a lot lately. “What makes you think that you can get rid of me?” Well, it’s my life, I’m the one supposed to choose what I can and what I can’t do.

Thankfully I’ll be able to see Amanda at Mrs. Janine’s class, today’s been quite stressful so far. And It’s only ten o’clock, today’s gonna be a long day.

- Hi Amanda.

- Hi, did you sleep well last night?

- No… I had that same dream again.

- Again?

�� - Yeah, I’ll probably have to talk about that to Loraine as well.

- As well?

- I’ve been having some blackouts again.

- Well, then please don’t take too long to go see her.

I should talk to her about my thoughts. “You won’t, I won’t let you.”

Maybe she’s still mad at me because of what happened earlier today, I should probably apologize again, no, I already did it and she thought it was weird, she probably thinks I’m weird. Why did I even apologize in the first place? Man, sometimes I don’t understand why I make these silly mistakes… Oops, Mrs. Janine is already speaking, better take notes, or else I came all the way here for nothing. Focus, do not drift away and start beating around the bush if I do so then I may as well start to throw the bus money through the window of my room and start thinking about working at a fast-food chain… Damn it, she’s already way past my notes, okay, don’t panic, let me pick up and I can probably take a picture of Amanda’s notes at the end of the class so that I can have that piece I just lost. I wonder why she’s always using a notebook if she also has a laptop. And she even drives here instead of taking public transport. “You’re always asking everything from others while giving nothing back. That’s why your dad left you, he was sick of your laziness.”

- No!

- Excuse me miss, do you have any questions?

- Damn it, everyone is looking at me, oh my god! What do I do?! – I thought.

- Sorry…

- Okay, then may I proceed?

Everyone is laughing, oh my god! I won’t be able to go outside for at least a month now. Why the hell does this thing keep talking inside my head? I already told you I’m not gonna listen to your bullshit! “Then why did you shout? Were you perhaps talking to the professor?”

- What was that during class?

- I’m sorry Amanda, I’m not feeling well today…

- How many times do I have to tell you? You don’t have to apologize for everything, please just stop worrying about it.

- Okay… Sorry…

- What did I just tell you? Come here.

Her hugs are always so heartwarming, it makes me feel as if I am floating.

- Can we go eat somewhere else today? I’m not in the mood for looking at everyone’s face after that.

- Sure, we can go to that new place next to my house if you want to. I drove by there earlier and they seem to be working already.

- That’s perfect! Let’s go.

Man, today’s been quite a tiresome day, thankfully I’ll get to spend some time at Amanda’s house.

- Hey.

- What?

- Listen, I’m sorry…

- I already told you that…

- Yeah, I know, but listen, please.

- …

- I’m sorry that I’ve been so weird these past few days, it’s probably because the meds still didn’t kick in and please don’t think that I’m like that all the time…

Another hug, I better not cry or I might end up staining her sweater.

- Listen, don’t worry, whatever happens, I’ll always be by your side.

-Thanks Amanda.

Boy, I wonder if there’s any way how people can survive without someone like Amanda in their life, she’s so caring and understanding. And she’s always helping me and… “You don’t deserve her.”

Stop it, just this once, you know I don’t have much left. And I’ve helped her as well ever since we met at university. “Have you?”

...

- Well, we’re here, let’s go.

What did I do for Amanda this past year? I remember helping her with Mr. Willow’s class… but I don’t remember much else…

- Hello?

- What?

- What do you want?

- Oh, I’ll have the grilled fish and salad.

- Okay, let me call the waiter.

What did I do for her? There must be something. “There’s nothing.” Of course, there is! There needs to be something, let me think… How about when we met? I introduced her to James… “The guy she already knew before you two met who lives two blocks down her house?” Why don’t you shut the fuck up? I can’t think like this. “You can’t or you don’t want to?” I can’t! Now shut up!

- Do you want some dessert? You’ve been dead shut all day long, are you okay?

- Yeah, I’m fine. I think we should probably head home already. Here’s my part…

- Don’t worry about it, I owe you from that dinner last Wednesday.

That’s it! Whenever she needs money, I can give her some. “She earns way more than you on her part-timer, plus, last Wednesday was nothing but you insisting to her that you’d pay for the dinner.”

- Home sweet home, let’s go to my room.

Man, she already lives by herself, it’s true that Mr. Lane indeed helps her pay the bills but she lives by herself nevertheless.

- Okay, the books are on the upper shelf, I’m going to take a bath so feel comfortable doing whatever, Mi casa es su casa.

Man, I always forget how big her boobs are, the sweater always hides most of its size. I wish I had boobs like these. She also has a perfect hourglass shape, it’s simply mesmerizing just the thought… the thought of…

- Hey! Stop staring at me you creep!

- I’m sorry Amanda! I... I...

A kiss. I love her kisses...

- We’ve been dating for five months already! I’m joking you silly! Of course you can look at me all you want!

What did I do to deserve someone like her in my life?

- Hey listen, don’t you want to call your mom and stay with me for the weekend?

- I don’t know, she might need my help…

- I’m sure she’ll be okay.

- But you don’t understand…

- “I should be there if something happens?” Listen, you should stop worrying so much about everything, it’s not good for your health…

- Don’t tell me how to live my life!

Oh my god, what did I do? Now she’s upset. All I can do is hurt her and be a bother to her. “I should probably vanish from the face of the planet. I fucking hate myself, why do I even bother trying to have a normal life if I’ll never be normal? I’ll always be this freak of nature. Fuck! I didn’t ask to live this life!” Stop… “I can’t even pay attention to the only thing I’m supposed to be doing! I can’t even be home enough for my parents. And I can’t even make Amanda smile…” Gotta be strong… “To end my life would be a gift to everyone around me, I’m an absolute waste of life, I’m a failure… I… Hate me…

- / / -

- Hello! Hello!

- Who’s there?

- It’s me, the one who’s been here all along.

- Who are you?

- I’m the past, the present, and the future. I’m the one who’s always here.

- I don’t understand.

- You never do, my child. But I’m still here, looking out for you.

- Who are you? Hello? Hello?

…

- / / -

- Dear Jesus Blair, are you ok?!

- What happened?

- Seems like you had another crisis, we should go and grab your meds right now!

- No… Please…

- What are you talking about?

- I’ve always been an obstacle in everyone’s life, why should we even bother…

- Because I love you! Please, Blair, don’t say things like this…

- I wasn’t even able to do something for you when you already do so many things for me…

- Are you out of your mind Blair? How about last month when I was sick and you stayed with me all week and took notes for both of us?

- Nobody needs me…

- Of course we do! You’re always home to help your mother and even when she says that you don’t need to prepare breakfast you always do it, every day.

- But my father…

- He left because he couldn’t see how much of an amazing, caring and loving person you are.

- Amanda…

- I love you, Blair.

- I love you too.

…

- Let me go to the mirror and see how much damage I did.

- Okay.

- Looks like I managed to scratch my whole face again, damn it! – I thought.

And that on the floor is my hair, Amanda is brunette and unless she’s seeing other women there’s no way there would be blonde hair on the floor.

- Hey Amanda.

- Hi?

- Have you been cheating on me?

- Are you crazy Blair?!

- Then how do you explain all the blonde hair on the floor?

- That’s yours.

- Yeah, I know that.

- You whore! Don’t go out and about scaring me like this!

- I’m just kidding, I love you darling.

- I love you too.

- Hey, take me to my house, I need to…

- Stay with your mom? Don’t worry, I’ll understand.

- I was going to say go grab some clothes and my meds.

- Are you for real?

- Yup.

- Great let’s go, but you don’t have to grab clothes, I can lend you some.

- Ew, and I would have to walk around with some giant bras and a thong?

- Of course not, actually I wish you’d rather walk naked around the house.

- You pervert! You know I’m not gonna do this!

Laughing with her always makes my day so much brighter than usual. You know what? I can’t let these negative thoughts take control again, for Amanda and mom’s wellbeing, and mine as well, of course. But I’m so tired that I might just go grab my stuff and sleep some more, at least I can sleep with Amanda.

Maybe that’s why she’s with me. Because I make her happy.

- You never told me, but when did you start liking me?

- Well, from the time that we spent together you seemed like such a nice person and we had a lot of fun together, so the more I spent time with you the more I wanted to be with you, and when I noticed it I was already in love.

- So you’re with me because I make you happy?

- No, I fell in love with you because of that. I’m with you because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. No matter what happens you always manage to raise your head and keep going. I just hope you don’t find anyone better than me and end up leaving me.

- Don’t even joke about that, I love you and only you!

- I love you too Blair, you weirdo.

“What she says is always false.” That’s the key, this is what I have to remember whenever that voice comes crawling in my mind.

- Oh my gosh Amanda, pretzels! Let’s go get some!

- Calm down Blair, you’ll end up making me crash the car. Get your hands off the steering wheel!

- If we don’t hurry up the pretzel man might disappear!

- That’s why I love you, you weirdo!

- Love you too!

#creative writing #original character #short story #mental health

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song-tam · 3 years

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okay I used to get kinda jealous like whenever I saw someone doing something that was, you know, like, my thing? like something that I was good at and then someone else just did it and that made me jealous and then I got ashamed that I was so envious because it really isn’t my thing and more than one person can do it—

but like? that jealousy isn’t actually that bad of a thing? like sometimes whenever I get discouraged I think of someone doing the thing and getting better at it and that just makes me want to be better too? like my damn pride refuses to let someone beat me if I care and as a result I get more competitive and work harder

tl;dr: jealousy is only actually really bad if you let those feelings take over and you start pitying yourself or legitimately hurting someone. it’s actually healthy when you use it to fuel yourself and become better.

#yes this was the thing that I posted on the rp blog #when I meant to post it here #anyway I’m too lazy to rewrite my tags #but y’know this might be about writing or art you’ll never know #am i talking about you? odds are probably #the thing is I can get jealous and competitive af #I have pride and an ego and a superiority complex #so I’m not letting you beat me #I’m going to surpass anyone who surpasses me fair and square no shortcuts #okay look if I care I’m not gonna be lazy and unmotivated #I’m going to do shit and I’m going to do it better than you’ve ever seen #maybe it’s just my perfectionist virgo ass #but still #this is for everyone who told me I couldn’t #bitch I’m gonna do it and I’m gonna do it better than anyone else ever has and then I’ll shove it up your asses #shitpost #virgo #writers #competition

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generallybarzy · 4 years

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every side of you

mat barzal x reader

summary: every now and then, you shut down into a pit of hopelessness, of anxiety and self-loathing, and you were determined to hide that side of you from Mat, in fear that it would drive him away.

an: alrighty, so this is a shorter fic than usual but it’s really personal and important to me as it hits close to home as something I deal with. It started out as just a blurb I wrote as a sort of “therapy” to comfort myself when this type of thing would happened, but I figured I’d share it here since others probably go through the same thing.

warnings: anxiety attack, self-loathing, depressive episode, etc.

word count: ~3k

Broken.

There wasn’t really a better word to describe what you were feeling- exhausted, hopeless, anxious, unmotivated, finished- but broken might be the easiest way to describe it. In a world full of things that upset, worried and disturbed you, there was nothing you hated more than the hopeless, empty feeling you would get every now and then when something seemed overwhelmingly impossible- no matter if it was a task at work or something as simple as just waking up and getting out of bed in the morning. And because you were too overwhelmed to try or even get out of bed, your own voice nagged away at you in your head, calling you names. Weak, stupid, lazy, everyone’s so sick of you. Why can’t you get your shit together?

It didn’t happen that often, really, especially since you started dating Mathew. There was little room for something to overwhelm you to the point of you crying and closing yourself off from the world when you had such a sweet, caring boyfriend to make sure you’re feeling okay at all times. Not that you’d ever told him or were planning on telling him about these depressive, tired moods you fall into. No, that was a really ugly side of you.

The side of you that stayed up until 4 in the morning working tirelessly just because you were overwhelmed and stressed to the point of not being able to close your eyes. The side of you that didn’t eat properly for days on end because you were too tired to drag yourself to the kitchen. The side of you that would shut down and not contact anyone for days, just because you didn’t want to sound annoying or needy. The side of you that kept telling yourself “You’re a burden, you’re annoying everybody, you’re so fucking weak.” The side of you that would stress out to the point of being physically ill, leaving you to cocoon yourself in blankets with headaches and nausea.

You didn’t need Mat to know about that side of you.

Ever since Mat came around, you had been feeling perfectly fine, so it didn’t seem necessary to admit to him this… problem you used to run into. He had been busy enough, with the hockey season starting soon after you started dating, so you never found the need to tell him.

But now, you hadn’t spoken to him in two days. At least, you think it’s been two days. You didn’t know what day it was. You didn’t know day from night anymore.

It was always a gradual build up before you fell apart, and this time- the first since you started dating Mat, you had nearly forgotten what it was like. It was nearing the end of his western road trip when you started getting bad. Mat was far out west playing hockey and you were getting overwhelmed balancing work and school all alone when something in you just snapped. For two days, everyone’s little comments and snarky words wore away at you; you were stuck in a constant cycle of wake up, work, sleep, repeat, most of the day spent huddled on the couch under the same dirty blankets, with a cup of tea cooling off before you could even drink it. You were stuck in a cycle of tears, nausea, and headaches, crying because your head hurt, your head hurting because of how much you were crying- it was horrible. On the third day, you actually called off of work, too drained and hopeless to even drag yourself out of bed. Mat always found time to text and call you during road trips, and you always loved to hear his voice. But, somewhere along the way, you stopped answering him.

You couldn’t explain exactly why you didn’t answer, but you were too tired to respond the first time, and then each time his name popped up on your phone, asking if you were alright and begging you to answer him, you felt so horrible, so guilty, and something in your mind reasoned that you’d rather stay silent than deal with his questions; rather lose him than reveal to him this side of you. You didn’t want to sound annoying, you didn’t want him to think you were overreacting.

Wow, he’s gonna think you’re such a fucking baby. You can’t even handle work and school? You need someone to hold your hand through life? That must be so annoying to him.

He was getting back from the trip today, you knew he was going to come straight to your apartment from the airport, and he was going to see you like this, and he was gonna leave you because of it. He didn’t have time to deal with someone as screwed up as you.

You’d spent all morning- having called off work- huddled up in your bedroom with the blinds closed, hiding under the blankets, just trying to stop crying. How could you just wake up and already be so overwhelmed? A few hours later, you managed to drag yourself out of the room and make yourself some tea- thinking it would soothe your raw throat- before collapsing on the couch in tears where you stated for the rest of the day, and into the night, apparently. God, you felt so exhausted.

In the midst of your self-loathing, your phone started vibrating on the coffee table and the screen lit up with 'Mat🖤'. You didn’t have the energy or willpower to reach out and grab it, and even if you did, you wouldn’t be able to form the right words for him. What would you say? What could you say? "Hey, sorry for ignoring you for two whole days! I'm having a breakdown so I couldn't even gather the energy to text you back once! I'm mentally unstable! Break up with me!"

It stopped ringing.

And then you heard heavy footsteps speeding down the apartment building hallway and frantic knocking at the door.

“(Y/N)? Are you in there? Please answer me.” Just hearing Mat’s voice on the other side of the door made you choke up and let out a strangled sob. He heard, and the panic in his voice was obvious as he called out again. “Baby? What’s wrong?” You could hear him fumbling around for the spare key you’d given him for emergencies.

Before you could process what exactly was happening, your boyfriend was stepping into the room. After only a few seconds of trying to figure out what was wrong and where his girlfriend was, his eyes landed on your figure on the couch, and you heard his heavy duffel bag drop by the door and his footsteps rush over.

"Holy shit." He knelt down in front of where you lay huddled on the couch, stroking his fingers over your tear-stained cheeks and running his wide eyes over you, trying to figure out what was wrong and if you were physically hurt in any way. "(Y/N), baby, what’s wrong? Please say something."

At the first familiar sight of Mat, his soft dark hair a mess from rushing here from the airport, his pretty hazel eyes worried and searching and, you shook your head, your emotions squeezing your throat shut. Forming words would be a miracle at this point. "Can't." Your voice came out raw, strained, from little use in the past few days, and the tears started flowing as you reached out weakly for him.

So he pulled you- blankets and all- into his arms.

You breathed a sigh that you didn't realize you had been holding since he left, since he last held you, and all your walls crumbled. You sobbed into his dress shirt- he still hadn't changed from the flight- and clung onto his jacket. He smelled so familiar and comforting, like warmth, like home, like Mat, and you weren't planning on moving your face from the crook of his neck any time soon. You had half expected him to yell at you for ignoring him, to break up with you right here, but no. "Shh, shh, I'm here." His hand cupped your head against him, fingers carding through your hair in a way he knew calmed you down. He'd seen you cry before but… nothing like this. "Take your time."

His heart ached, his heart broke watching you break down against his chest. Part of him felt so guilty, though logically he knew that was unnecessary. Should he have tried harder to contact you? Should he have pushed more to try and get in touch? Were you upset with him? Did something happen? He couldn’t deny how much he was panicking inside, but he held it together for you. He could tell you needed something steady right now.

Minutes passed like this- you, wrapped in blankets and pulled into Mat's chest, breathing in his scent and feeling his heartbeat thumping under your ear, Mat holding you tight, arms tucked around you and face pressed against the top of your head- before your sobs calmed into shaky, shallow breaths. "Hey. Breathe with me, babe."

You mimicked the sound of Mat's breathing, your chests expanding in rhythm against each other. "There we go." His hands smoothed over your back and you could feel him physically relaxing with you. His lips trailed against your hairline for a few moments before he leaned back, gently laying you back on the couch with a soft look in his eyes. “Wait here a second, I’ll be right back.” He left for the kitchen, and you could hear him kick his shoes off on the way. When he returned, he held a glass of water up to your lips, instructing you to take small sips and watching carefully as you drank. He sat back on the couch with you, pulling you into his arms delicately. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

“I’m just… “ You swallowed, your throat still feeling dry and raw from crying. “Tired.”

“Babe, I’ve seen tired. This is a lot more.” He prodded gently, his eyes showing nothing but care.

“I just... get like this every now and then."

"Every now and then?” His eyebrows furrowed, his voice taking a tone you’d never heard him use before: delicate, scared, careful. “Does this happen often?"

"Used to."

“Shit… Has it… has it ever happened since we started dating? Or any other time that I could’ve been there to help you?” You shook your head against him and he breathed out a sigh of relief. It felt good to know that at the very least this hasn’t happened before at a time when he could've prevented it. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve done, learning you’d been like this before while he was blissfully unaware of the state you were in. Suffering silently with an ignorant boyfriend. How shitty of a boyfriend was he if he didn't even know you were having a hard time? “Okay. Okay. Do you know what caused it?”

You breathed him in, wiping the tears from your eyes as you gathered your thoughts.

Mat felt you struggling to explain yourself and kissed your forehead. “It’s alright if you can’t explain it.”

"Just... Everything becomes overwhelming. Work, classes, my friends. I feel so… exhausted and alone… I stopped communicating with anyone. It’s too overwhelming to talk to anyone. I’m so anxious and hopeless. I feel like everyone is annoyed with me. I feel like shit. I feel like a fucking burden."

Mat quieted down for a few moments, letting your words sink in. Holy shit. You felt like a burden. He made it his life’s purpose as your boyfriend to make sure you never felt bad about yourself, and here you were so overwhelmed and hopeless you were shutting yourself off from the world. He felt miserable, he felt like he’d failed as a boyfriend. "Fuck.” His mind was racing. Was it something he did? Did he add to your anxiety? Did it happen because of him or in spite of him? How could he fix it? Well, for now he only knew one thing he could do. “Let's get you to bed first, alright? Then we'll talk about this.”

He peeled you out of your cocoon of blankets and lifted you into his arms easily, letting you dry your tears and silence your whimpers on the collar of his shirt, not caring how wet it got. When he finally laid you down in bed and tried to move away to change, you latched onto him, and he had to coo to you softly for your grip to loosen. "Hey, hey, lemme get out of these clothes, then I'll cuddle you, alright?" You weren't sure you'd ever heard his voice get this gentle and soft before, but it made you warm and helped to ease the anxiety inside of you.

"Mhm. Okay."

You watched with wet eyes as he smiled and pushed one strand of your hair aside with a single finger. He stripped out of his dress shirt and pants as quickly as he could before climbing back in beside you, pulling you into his chest and pulling the blankets up around the two of you. He lay a palm across your cheek, his thumb right under your eye to catch any tears, and pulled you in for a delicate kiss. "How do you feel?”

How did you feel? You felt scared Mat was upset with you for ignoring him, guilty for making him worry so much, but overall your anxiety had lessened ever since the moment he pulled you into his arms.

“I’m… better. I’m better now that you’re here.”

“Good.” He smiled against your skin, breathing in your scent. Shit, he had missed seeing you, hearing your voice. “Alright, baby. Obviously you've had a pretty hard time while I was gone. When did you start feeling like this?”

“I- I don’t know. It’s a build up. Maybe the last few days?”

“When you started missing calls?” You nodded, staring at his neck and not wanting to look him in the eyes. You were so humiliated that he was seeing this side of you. The broken side.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, baby. I get it. You said everything was getting overwhelming and you were getting anxious? And that you felt like everyone was annoyed with you? That's why you didn't answer me? You thought I was annoyed?"

You shrugged, taking a breath to steady yourself. "I was stressed and crying, and missed so many calls because I was crying… and then I ignored you because… I guess I thought you’d be angry with me.”

“Absolutely not.” His lips glided across your forehead. “I wasn’t angry, not even for a second. I was worried. You worried me, babe. You should’ve just told me what was happening. I would’ve tried to help.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just...” You felt the tears start up again and Mat noticed too, and quickly pulled you in to lay kisses across your cheeks. "I overthink things when I’m anxious."

“Hey, no, don't apologize."

You felt his hands rub up and down your back, and that soft display of affection gave you enough confidence to form words. “I didn't know how to explain why I missed all those calls without telling you about…this. I didn't want to let you see this side of me. I thought you would break up with me. So it was easier to just ignore you."

"No, no, no, what?” he shook his head. “Why would I break up with you? Over this?"

"Because I'm… overreacting? Unstable?"

Mat went silent, his arms tightening their grip around you. "...What?"

"You don't deserve someone so broken, who you have to keep putting back together."

"Listen, listen, listen." He tilted your face up to look at him, forcing you to be eye-to-eye with him. When you finally met his pretty, hazel eyes, you found nothing but love. No annoyance, no anger, only love, care, and urgency. "Do you have any idea how scared I was when I didn’t hear from you? When I walked in and saw you crying on the couch? That was like, one of my worst nightmares.” His voice cracked a bit. Not hearing from you had been hard on him. He could barely pay attention to the games, and it had shown in his playing. “Please, please don’t keep things from me because you’re scared of how I’ll react. I love you. You’re not overreacting. You're not unstable. You're not a burden. You're not broken, baby. Even if this side of you isn’t great, it's just another part of you that makes you, you. And I love you, so we'll manage this together, alright?”

“Together?”

“Yeah, together.” He laughed a little, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m your boyfriend, we’re together, so you never have to go through anything alone, ever again. I’m always here. We’ll figure out some way to get through this. I promise.”

He leaned in to press a kiss against your mouth, all the urgency and care for you spilling out from his lips as they moved against yours. You would’ve stayed like that forever, but an aching in your head had you pulling back and burying your face in your boyfriend’s neck.

“We can think about getting a doctor’s opinion, or get some at home activities or something to help keep you calm while I’m gone, or-”

“Tomorrow, Maty? My head hurts. Just hold me.”

"Anything you need, babe.” He readjusted your position in bed gently, careful not to hurt your head even more, and you ended up sprawled out on top of him with your face directly on his chest, his arms around your back. “I'm never going to judge you, so don't try to shut me out. Especially not when you're going through this. I don't want you to feel alone in this relationship, ever."

“I love you so much, Mat. Thank you for helping me calm down.”

"I love you, baby. I love you. Good or bad, I love every side of you."

“Hear you falling and lonely, cry out:

"Will you fix me up? Will you show me hope?

The end of the day, I'm helpless

Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?“

-Someone To Stay, Vancouver Sleep Clinic

#mat barzal #fic #op #nhl writing #i had to include those lyrics cuz i listen to that song a lot when i need to cry

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tigerseye46 · 3 years

Note

Since we're both addicted to the same ship, how about 25 with FreeNoodleshipping? (I am very happy to know I'm not bothering you with these prompts, thank you for that)

Yessss! Also *sweats* I somehow made this angsty without meaning to. (Of course not! I love people sending me prompts! Sorry I haven’t been answering the prompts lately. I was little lazy and unmotivated but keep sending prompts! I love them!)

Prompt List

25. “Wait, don’t buy yet! There’s more!” // “You’re a horrible, no-good dork.”

-----------------------------

It was another day shopping in the market. The two were wandering around, as usual, they were being extra cautious since the spider queen incident. They had their arms hooked together, their bodies pressed up against each other as Pigsy looked at his list. Tang leaned in to get a look at it.

“What do we need, Pigsy?”

Pigsy pushed him slightly, not letting go of Tang’s arm. “Too close, Tang,” he grunted. “We need carrots, tomatoes, mushrooms, and apples for dessert later.”

“Okay. Try not to fall under a trap this time,” he teased.

“Hey! That woman put a spell on me!”

“Sureeee. That’s it.”

“She was attractive! Can ya blame me? How did you not fall for her?”

Tang shut his mouth, he wanted to say ‘Because I’m in love with you, you oblivious pig.’ Instead, he stated “Guess she wasn’t my type. Also yes, I can blame you! You got us captured!”

“I’m sorry, okay! At least we got out of it!”

“We wouldn’t have gotten into it if you had listened to me!”

Pigsy huffed, “It was a spell! I still don’t get how ya didn’t fall for her.”

“Because I’m in love with someone,” he mumbled. The pig’s ears perked up. Did Tang just say he was in love?

“What did ya say, Tang?”

“No-nothing!”

The pig’s eyes widened and he tilted his head. “Did ya just say ya like someone?”

“N-no!” He pushed Pigsy away, messing with his hair to avoid looking at the pig, a huge blush on his face.

The pig frowned, a feeling of sadness overwhelming him at Tang admitting he was in love with someone along with jealousy coursing through his veins. This was the first time he ever heard of this, they had known each other for years, why did Tang never tell him? He had always liked, no, loved Tang, well not at first but then the scholar grew on him, he grew enough on him to where they now lived together in an apartment, letting Tang steal a bowl of noodles on a rare occasion, listening to the scholar’s ramblings as his eyes sparkled and gods, he had beautiful eyes, Pigsy could stare at them all day if he could. The chef quickly shook himself out of it. “Who are they? Are they cute? What are they like? Do I know them?” He needed more information, who had stolen Tang’s heart? That was his job!

“It’s no one!”

“So are they handsome or beautiful? Who are they?”

“No one! I’m not in love with anyone!”

“Then why are ya blushin’?” Tang felt his cheeks grow hot. “They must be special.”

“Th-they are... Let’s just shop.” Tang let out a sigh as he dragged one of his feet across the ground.

The pig frowned again. “Okay…”

He hooked their arms together again as they made their way through the marketplace, he had to drag Tang around. It broke his heart to see Tang upset, Pigsy shouldn’t have asked about the love thing. Did this person reject Tang? He would go after them if he did.

He nudged Tang. “Hey; why don’t we go to a bookstore after this?”

Tang’s eyes quickly got back their usual shine. “Really?”

“Yea, I’ll even pay for it.”

Tang hugged him, the chef turned pink. “Thank you Pigsy!”

“Yea, yea, yea.” He patted the scholar’s back awkwardly.

The scholar beamed at him and grabbed Pigsy’s hand, quickly taking him to where they needed to go so they could go to the bookstore faster. It was a few minutes later that they had gotten everything they needed. He was checking the list just in case, when he finally looked up at Tang, he had sparkly eyes and a wide grin.

“Is that everything?”

“Yea, Tang.”

“Perfect! Let’s go!” He pulled on the pig’s arm, the pig quickly having to grab a plastic bag he had left on the ground as he was being dragged away. The sound of crumpling plastic could be heard as Pigsy held tight to the bags, Tang maneuvered around various people on the street to get to the bookstore, holding on tight to the cook’s arm.

“Tang! Slow down!” But Tang didn’t listen, he was too excited. How rare was it that Pigsy offered to pay for something? It was like a one in a million opportunity!

Finally, they arrived at the bookstore, Tang had let go of Pigsy’s arm. Pigsy checked the bags to make sure nothing had fallen out and surprisingly, everything was still there. He narrowed his eyes at Tang or he was going to, if Tang hadn’t already entered the bookstore by himself. Pigsy pinched the bridge of his snout and walked inside.

He looked around the bookstore, searching for him. He sighed, why did Tang have to go inside without him? Books were lined up against shelves with different labels like “romance,” “action,” and other genres and subjects. It was somewhat quiet, there were people chatting but in hushed tones. There were slight sounds of beeping from the checkout counters and the smell of coffee was lingering in the air from the coffee shop connected to the place.

Pigsy kept searching for Tang until Tang came up to him and planted a bunch of books in his arms. “Tang!”

“Carry those for me, okay?”

“Why? Ya got arms!” He huffed and turned to go towards the checkout counter.

“Wait, don’t buy yet! There’s more!”

Pigsy sighed. “Do ya really need this many?”

“Yes! You did say you would pay! So I’m buying as many interesting books as I can find!”

“I’m gonna be broke after this.”

“I promise I won’t spend that much.” He stroked the cook’s cheek.

Pigsy suppressed a purr. “You’re a horrible, no-good dork.”

Tang nudged him and winked. “Isn’t that why you like me?” The smile he gave Pigsy was blinding.

The pig blushed. “Ye-yea.” Tang leaned in and kissed his cheek before going to look at more books. Pigsy let out a purr that he was holding and a lady approached him.

“Awww, is that your boyfriend?” She asked. “You two look adorable together.”

That made him turn even more red. “N-no. We’re just friends, sadly,” he mumbled.

The lady gasped. “Really? Because you two seem like a couple. He did kiss you on the cheek after all.”

“He’s just excited, I promised I would pay for this.”

“That is so sweet of you! I wish you luck in your relationship!” Then she walked away.

“Th-thanks.” He tried to hide his face in the cover of the books. What Pigsy didn’t know was Tang had been observing them, he hadn’t heard the conversation but from Pigsy’s red face, he could probably guess. He glared and continued to look around, ugh, he hated when the pig flirted with women. He found a few more books then stomped over to Pigsy, he put the books in his arms again, glaring at him.

“I’m done,” he stated grumpily, his fists clenching into a ball. He wanted to punch something, the anger and envy overwhelming him.

Pigsy stared at him with widened eyes. “Are ya okay, Tang?”

“Why do you care?” He avoided staring at him. “Let’s just go pay for this then you can go flirt like you always do.”

“What? Tang, are ya okay?”

“Ugh, stop asking that! Since when do you care? Let’s go!” He demanded. He stomped to the counter with Pigsy following close behind with his eyebrow raised. What was his problem? He had been happy just a moment ago. They didn’t say a word as they stood in line, Tang avoided Pigsy’s gaze by looking down, his glasses shining to cover up his emotion as he crossed his arms.

Eventually, they checked out and left the bookstore with Pigsy holding on the plastic bags with the groceries and books, not daring to speak to each other. Anytime, Pigsy attempted to place a hand on his shoulder, Tang would wave him off. It was making the pig incredibly concerned and irritated, couldn’t Tang just talk to him?!

They reached the front door of their apartment. Pigsy dropped the plastic bags and pulled out his keys. He opened the door and opened the door gently. “Tang, could ya help me with the bags?” Tang simply huffed and walked inside.

The pig scowled, picking up the bags, placing Tang’s books on their living room table then putting the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. Now, he was mad. He stomped towards Tang’s direction who had trudged to his room. He swung Tang’s door open, the scholar was reading a book on his bed, legs crossed. He glared at Pigsy. “Hey! Be careful with my door!”

“WHAT IS WITH YOU? YOU’VE BEEN ACTIN’ WEIRD!”

Tang gently shut his book, not taking his eyes off the pig. “WHY DO YOU CARE?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FRIEND! BECAUSE WE LIVE TOGETHER!”

“THAT DOESN’T MATTER! IT NEVER MATTERS TO YOU! WHY DON’T YOU GO FLIRT WITH SOMEONE? YOU ALWAYS DO THAT AND… and you ignore me…” Tang began sobbing and brought his knees up to his chest, putting his arms around his legs.

Pigsy’s mouth went agape. He went to Tang’s side and started patting him on the back, sitting on the bed beside him. His heart broke at the sight, he wrapped his arms around him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked in an unnaturally soft tone. “Have I been ignorin’ ya?”

“N-no,” he replied muffled. “I’m just being an idiot. It’s not your fault. It’s- it’s nothing.”

Pigsy lifted Tang’s chin up, tears still flowing from the scholar’s face. “Hey, don��t say that. Don’t call yourself an idiot. It’s not nothin’ if it’s makin’ ya so upset. Your feelings are important to me. What’s wrong?”

Tang buried his face into the chef’s chest. “I… just…” He shook his head. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry, Pigsy.”

“It’s not nothin’, Tang. I care about ya, okay? So if something’ is makin’ ya upset then I want to know. Have I been ignorin’ ya? Because I haven’t, Tang. Ya always my full attention.”

The scholar bitterly laughed. “How can you say that when I see you flirt? It’s like every time your eyes land on someone, I don’t exist. I want your eyes to land on me, just one time, please just let your eyes land on me,” he whispered, clutching onto the chef’s clothes and closed his eyes as more tears continued to appear.

“Tang, what are ya tryin’ to say?”

“I’m in love with you,” Tang screamed. “Gods, why are you so oblivious?” Pigsy opened his mouth to say something before closing it. His mind was swimming, Tang was in love with him? Is that why he was so mad earlier? He didn’t know what to say. The lack of response made Tang quickly got off the bed. “I’ll- I’ll leave. You clearly don’t feel the same way.” He made his way towards the door when he was pulled back, a gasp escaped his lips, he felt something around his waist. He looked down and saw the pig’s arms. “Let me go!”

“Calm down.” Pigsy buried his face in the scholar’s shoulder.

“Why? You don’t feel the same way!”

“Who said that? Who lied to you?” He demanded.

“No one. It’s obvious. After all you were flirting with that woman earlier.”

“Is that what ya think I was doin’? Tang, she came up to me to tell us that we were a cute couple. I promise.”

Tang let out a breath of relief. “I’m an idiot.”

“You might be an idiot but you’re my idiot. I love ya. I’m sorry I never said that before. Ya always have my attention. I love the way your eyes sparkle when ya get excited about somethin’, I love how smart ya are, I love that no matter what ya stay, ya stay with me.”

“Of course I stay, I could never leave you. You are my everything. You make me laugh and you’re a big softie. I always stole a bowl of noodles to get your attention. If you love me then why did I always see you flirt?”

“Because I always thought ya were never interested. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You better!” He shifted his body to face Pigsy, blushes on both their faces. Their eyes glancing at each other’s lips.

“Can I kiss ya, Tang?” Pigsy asked.

“Yes, you can. You can always kiss me.” Pigsy beamed and pressed a kiss against Tang’s lips, it was gentle, them taking their time as they clinged to one another until they separated and touched foreheads. “Wow, that was perfect.”

“Ye-yea. I love you, my freeloader.”

“I love you too, Pigsy. Sorry for earlier.”

“It’s fine. Ya can always come to me when ya feel that way. I love ya.”

“Love you, you big softie.” He nudged Pigsy, a wide smile on his face.

“Want to help me with dinner?”

“Sure. Maybe I’ll steal something while we cook.” He winked and headed off to the kitchen.

“Hey!” Pigsy shouted and began chasing Tang. Tang laughed as he ran, Pigsy caught up to him and carried him into his arms. “You’re a dork.”

“And you’re a softie,” he replied and gave him another kiss, this one lasting longer than the last. The lady was right, they are an adorable couple after all.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #freenoodleshipping #Pigsy #pigsy monkie kid #zhu bajie #tang #angst #brief mention of spider queen #I was supposed to make this fluffy but then angst hit my mind #Pigsy: Ya got arms *carries the books anyway*#my fic

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thefudge · 4 years

Note

Do you have any Romanian (language or just content-wise) media recs? Particularly novels and poetry but really any must-sees/must-reads are welcome!

uuuu!

my brain is too fried right now to do any kind of exhaustive list so i’m gonna rec a few things that i know you could get your hands on/available in translation:

for two thousand years, by mihail sebastian - really heartbreaking yet also lucid, adventurous and darkly humorous memoir of a Jewish writer in his youth at the height of nazism in romania (there’s even a Penguin classic of it)

diary of a short-sighted adolescent by mircea eliade - a funny and bittersweet bildungsroman about a bookish teenager who wants to read everything now and be the cleverest person alive while also struggling with being super lazy and unmotivated because he’s young and restless, it’s very #relatable. but it’s also fascinating to read this in opposition with “for two thousand years” because eliade entertained legionnaire nazi sympathies at one point. (also, you should check out his novellas too, especially the fantastic ones)

anything you can find in translation by gabriela adamesteanu - just lovely, delicate prose about growing up, being an adult, inhabiting your body and your feelings in an oppressive world

the hatchet by mihail sadoveanu (apparently, there is a translation) - a lot of people give this novel flak, mostly because we had to read it in high school, but it’s a great and deceptively simple little novel that says a lot more about people than it cares to admit. the action takes you through several villages in the East-Carpathians, where a peasant woman goes in search of her missing husband. it’s a fascinating mixture of crime and folklore and mythology.

any novella by costache negruzzi, but especially “alexandru lapusneanu”, another classic we had to read in school and which gets a lot of flak. it’s so bonkers and #quality-trash. let’s just say there’s a scene where the power-hungry voievod/prince lapusneanu enacts a red-wedding situation and builds a pyramid of freshly severed heads to impress his lady wife *swoon*

the forest of the hanged by liviu rebreanu - i know people argue this isn’t his best novel, but it’s got the most heart. it’s the story of a soldier/philosopher in WW1 who falls in love with people again. that’s it. he falls in love with people, and the war and everything in between doesn’t matter anymore. or it matters only as it pertains to people, and people alone.

gallants of the old court by mateiu caragiale - a bizarre gem of early 20th century Romanian nightlife, a wonderful, orgiastic fugue, feverish and infuriating. it’s mostly about rich men and social-climbers getting into existential trouble, but also into real trouble. normally, because the action takes place right before WW1, this would signify the end of an era. but we don’t really have a beginning or end. we are part-balkan, part-french imitators, part-whatever-sticks. nothing moves us, and everything does. and that’s why it’s a sort of love/hate letter to romanians

in terms of poetry, some personal faves: nichita stanescu, ana blandiana, monica pillat, marin sorescu, a.e. baconsky, lucian blaga, emil brumaru, nora iuga, marta petreu, nina cassian. and yes, mihai eminescu, our national poet, though i’m often in two minds about him.

poetry in translation is really hit and miss because of the “untranslatable”, so here’s two lines from a poem by nina cassian, because i want to show you what i mean:

De când m-ai părăsit mă fac tot mai frumoasă ca hoitul luminând în întuneric.

this roughly and poetically translates to:

Since you left me I’ve grown more beautiful

like the corpse lighting the dark

and this is sort of lovely on its own, but you’d need to know and hear and taste the word “hoit” in romanian to really feel the abjectness, because “hoit” is a smelly, ugly yet also alluring, already decomposing version of “cadavru” aka cadaver/corpse. also “ mă fac tot mai frumoasă” cannot be accurately summed up in “i’ve grown more beautiful”. a literal translation would be “I make myself more beautiful”. in romanian, this is obviously idiomatic and not literal. and yet, these strange self-reflexive valences make these lines strong and eerie, as if the speaker were authoring her beauty, shaping it out of clay and darkness and “hoit”, like a butterfly cracking the corpse’s shell to get out, but also retaining some of its mesmerizing stench. why did i pause to do a close-reading of romanian poetry??? anyway, you catch my drift

in terms of movies, a recent one i really loved was sierranevada by cristi puiu, which is a neurotic family drama that drains you but also lifts you up

and yeah, the hype is real, 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 days by cristi mungiu really is that good (about two young women trying to get an illegal abortion in communist romania. it won the palme d’or for very legit reasons. it breaks you in small ways. the very last shot of the film you’ll carry with you forever). i also liked graduation by cristi mungiu, where a young overachieving girl is about to graduate high school and go on to study abroad, until a terrible event unmoors both her and her family. the movie turns almost hallucinatory at one point, filled with ambiguity and a kind of sleep-walking quality

tales from the golden age by cristi mungiu (him again!) is also fantastic for anyone who wants to get a taste of communist romania and the sad-funny absurdities of everyday life. this movie is split in 2 parts and the format is that of an anthology, almost like watching several short films at once. and there is one film in the anthology that always turns me inside out, and it’s really silly, it’s this bonnie and clyde type story about this girl and boy who meet at a party and devise an ingenious get-rich scam and just run around a few neighborhoods trying to put it into practice and it’s...the sweetest, most incomplete thing. there is such a strange, lovely connection there that never gets realized, and there is a MOMENT between them where he helps her step down from this ledge and he holds her briefly to him and i remember being in the cinema and thinking THIS, this is THE MOMENT where i felt these people were real. it was such an honest, lovely moment. like the equivalent of this song. ANYWAY, why am i rambling so much??? this ask was supposed to be SHORT.

aferim! by radu jude is also a really neat movie and provides a look into the historical romanian/rroma relationship and why it’s so messed up, yet also so organic

the death of mr. lazarescu by cristi puiu is also a great little film about a man who gets sick and goes to the hospital. and...dies, as you can tell from the title. on the surface, he dies because of institutional ineptness and a broken healthcare system. at a deeper level, he dies because we no longer know how to help people. various hospital staff in the film do try to help him and fail for various stupid or quietly heartbreaking reasons. it’s a movie about being physically unable to care. there’s indifference, sure, but also this great exhaustion of the human spirit. but the movie is also darkly funny. might not be a great pandemic watch, but then again it might be exactly what you need

there are soooo many other classics in terms of books (morometii by marin preda, for instance, about a patriarch in a small village in the South who slowly realizes the world he used to live in doesn’t have room for him anymore, and maybe it never had) but i’m gonna end on a quote from ion creanga, one of the most cryptic classics of romanian lit:

“Şi eu eram vesel ca vremea cea mai bună şi şturlubatic şi copilăros ca vântul în tulburea sa”

my translation: “and I was cheerful like the best weather and frolicsome and childish like the wind in its cloudiness”

and again, the words in romanian and their particular sound and bite (”şturlubatic”, “tulburea”) immediately take me elsewhere. creanga writes about childhood, but it’s never really childhood. he writes as an adult who, in my opinion, was never really a child, but a weird, small god of the land. i mean the word “tulburea” can mean both “turmoil” and “muddiness”. the wind can be anguished, but also just a little cloudy, just a little hazy, shrinking its agony, howling it in the child. it’s eerie and gorgeous. so, that’s what he does: creanga writes about children as if they were wind-like spirits. he writes stories about devils and the peasants who trick them and school books filled with spit and flies, and warm eggs stolen from nests and fairy-tales of a world that is buried somewhere inside us, but not too deep, things hidden under our clothes or nails or even in our hair. and it’s all so physical and convoluted, just like his prose. and i don’t think anyone will ever make sense of him and that’s what makes him so discombobulatingly great.

anyway, this was supposed to be...like, really short! and not gassy! i’m sorry. i love waxing about all this gay stuff. i’m so gay about it.

realistically tho, the nearest thing you’ll find in your local bookshop is probably books by famous ‘theater of the absurd’ playwright, eugen ionesco, or novels in translation by contemporary author mircea cartarescu. both are pretty good, so go for it! (if you want to start small, i’d recommend REM by mircea cartarescu, because it’s so trippy and meta and captures that summer holiday eeriness so well. it goes well with this romanian song sung in english)

okay byeeeee

#romanian lit #recs #romanian literature #reference #my thoughts #romanian cinema #i hope no actual romanians come across this list and eviscerate me haha #im sorry this is such....MUCH

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simplybakugou · 4 years

Text

The Villain - Ch. 7: The Unsolicited Attack

A/N: Not even joking, I have like 20 things in my drafts because I have so many ideas to write about but I’m also too lazy and unmotivated to execute them omg. Also, because all of my classes are online now, that means I have literally 5 months of doing nothing so expect more updates because IM SO READY TO FINALLY FINISH THIS FIC. THE FACT THAT I STARTED THIS FIC AT THE END OF 2018 AND NOW ITS 2020 AND I STILL HAVEN’T FINISHED IT DJIFJEWBEHFOJEWVQOJ

Remember, if you want to be tagged in future chapters, comment below and I’ll add your username to the list!

Pairing: villain!bakugou Warnings: swearing Word Count: 3,703

LINKS TO NEW CHAPTERS

✐posted 04.10.2020✐

“Man, I really just bombed that exam,” Kaminari groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“It’s okay, Mina and Sero are probably going to join you in your failure,” you teased, earning yourself some glares from Sero and Mina. Kirishima laughed and you looked at him. “Don’t laugh too hard, Eijirou, you’re not that far ahead either!”

Kaminari, Sero, and Mina took their chances to make fun of Kirishima this time, the boys fooling around while Mina rolled her eyes. The sun was beginning to set as you and your friends waited outside of U.A. before walking back home.

“Where the hell is Katsuki?” You muttered.

Mina heard you over the sound of the boys arguing and put her arm on your shoulder. “Aw, look at you worrying about your boyfriend.”

She made kissy faces at you and you rolled your eyes, pushing her face away. “You know it’s not like that. He just seems down lately.”

Mina raised her brow. “Really? If I’m being honest, I haven’t really noticed. Then again, you’ve always been observant and see things I would never even think about noticing.”

You sighed, shrugging your shoulders as Kirishima waved at you and Mina. He showed you his phone, revealing messages between him and Bakugou. “Bakugou said that he’s going to see us tomorrow. Apparently he has to talk to a teacher about one of his assignments.”

“Alright, come on let’s go home,” Kaminari said as the group began walking away.

You stayed back. “I think I’m going to wait for him out here.”

“Are you sure? I can wait with you if you want,” Mina suggested.

You shook your head, smiling. “I just don’t want to leave him alone so I’m going to annoy him a little. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

The four of them waved good-bye to you as they walked away. You turned back around, leaning against the gates opening up to U.A. You had a feeling in your gut that was telling you to stay back and wait for Bakugou and low and behold, Bakugou came walking down the entrance. When he saw you, you could practically hear him groaning despite the amount of distance between the two of you.

As he came closer, you pointed your finger at him. “I knew it, you’re trying to avoid us!”

Bakugou rolled his eyes as he continued walking. You caught up to him, walking beside him. “Whatever. If you knew I was avoiding you shits, why’re you here?”

“‘Cause I’m worried about you,” you said truthfully.

Bakugou scoffed. “I’m not a kid, I don’t need you to fucking worry about me.”

“Just because you don’t need me to, doesn’t mean I’ll just stop.” You stood in front of him, causing him to stop walking. “You need to talk to someone about the Kamino incident.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened slightly before he gained his composure once more. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

This time it was your turn to roll your eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling upset about what happened. No one blames you or thinks you’re in the wrong.”

There was a long pause before the corners of Bakugou’s lips turned upwards into a small smile. He placed his hand onto your shoulder as he walked forward. You stood dazed and confused before being able to recollect yourself and catch up with him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m walking you home. It’s only been a few weeks since what happened to your mom and I’m still going to follow you around to make sure you’re not gonna do anything stupid.”

***

The walk was quiet, but it wasn’t awkward. Bakugou seemed to be deep in thought and you couldn’t help but study and observe Bakugou, attempting to decipher what was going on through his head. His hands were in his pockets and his lips were almost like they were permanently down turned. Once you got to your house, you could see your dad peeking through the window and sigh in relief once he saw you. Bakugou looked over there and looked back at you. “Your dad must’ve been worried about you. You need to take care of yourself for him.”

You sighed. “I know and I am taking care of myself now.”

Bakugou nodded, walking in the other direction to go to his own home. He lifted his hand to you to say goodbye. You stood in front of your driveway and called out to him. “Katsuki!”

Bakugou turned around and narrowed his brows at you. “For the last goddamn time, you’re the only one I know who calls me by my first name and I swear to god—“

You cut him off quickly, knowing he was going to continue rambling on. “I’m going to beat you.”

Bakugou was taken aback. “What?”

“I’m going to beat you and become the number one hero. I’m going to beat you, Midoriya, and Todoroki.” You paused. “You know what that means?”

“What?”

“It means that you’re still a hero to me. What happened in Kamino wasn’t your fault and that shouldn’t be a reason for you to want to stop pursuing your goal. You’re still the same hotheaded Bakugou Katsuki who is loud, driven, and the one who saved me a few weeks ago. You’re a hero, Katsuki.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened but he turned back around so you couldn’t see his expression. “Whatever. Go inside, your dad’s waiting.”

And after all this time, you always wonder what kind of expression he had on his face then.

***

Your eyes shot open and you sat up immediately in bed. You rubbed your eyes, groaning. It was a dream... But it also wasn’t. It genuinely happened and you can recall that day so easily despite how long ago it was.

The door in your room opened and Mina sighed in relief. “Thank god you’re awake, I thought I had to wake you up.”

She threw a few envelopes at you, indicating that it was some mail that you got. You went through them, most of them being bills. However, one of them was from a famous agency you had heard of. Many old heroes were signed under this agency and you immediately ripped open the seal. The letter was addressed specifically to you.

Dear (H/N),

I hope you’ve been well and that this urgent letter reaches you. I’m going to get straight to the point; I know that you’re the number one hero and that you deserve to be involved in every important villain issue there is.

But, I don’t want you to interfere in any issue related to Ground Zero unless we need your help.

The reason for this is that I’m afraid your personal connection to him will make you biased and refrain you from stopping him if the chance that you meet him ever comes again in the future.

I know you’re a strong hero, which is why you’re number one, but my agency will take care of him if needed.

I understand that this is maybe unfair and I may be intruding, but I’m doing what is best for the world and for you. I’m asking you to step back, not forcing you to.

I hope you can trust me to do this.

—Hawks

You sighed, shoving the letter in your pockets and getting up to get ready. Once you were done, you checked your phone to get a text from Natsuya to stop by his place. You went into the kitchen as Mina set a plate of breakfast for you.

“You look worn out,” Mina commented, sitting down in front of you.

“I just have a feeling something’s going on.” You sighed, eating the food Mina made you. “I’m stopping by Natsuya’s before going to the agency today.”

“Okay.” Mina narrowed her brows in confusion at you but didn’t bother to question you further. “You’ve been at Yamashita’s place more than you’ve been here. Are you sure there isn’t something else going on?”

Mina nudged your arm and you swatted at her. “Absolutely not. I just want to hang out with my boyfriend. Sue me.” You got up to put your plate away, grabbing your coat from the rack in the process.

“But you’re hanging out with him at his apartment. Where his bed is.”

“I’m not going there for his ‘bed.’” You rolled your eyes at your best friend, bending down to tie your shoelaces.

“Hm, then again you don’t need a bed, you can have sex pretty much anywh—“

“Okay, see you later, Mina!” You exclaimed, quickly leaving the apartment only to hear Mina’s snickers as you left.

***

You knocked on the door, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to answer. Once he did, Natsuya’s face broke out into a smile as he was genuinely happy to see his girlfriend.

“Hey, you,” he said, kissing your forehead as he opened the door wider to let you in.

You smiled, walking in and he closed the door. “Why’d you call me here?”

“What? A man can’t see his girlfriend or is that a crime?” Natsuya joked and you playfully rolled your eyes at him. “I just wanted to check up on you before you and I headed out for work. I have a feeling that everything is going to escalate from here, especially since the League hasn’t done anything and it’s been three weeks now.”

You plopped down onto his sofa, letting out a loud sigh. It was evident that something was bound to happen and lately, it felt as if you were just sitting back and waiting for something to happen. It didn’t sit well with you that you couldn’t really do anything during this time. But there wasn’t anything that you could do, for now at least.

“You’re right, which is why I’m glad you called me over. I need to show you something.” Natsuya sat down beside you as you pulled out the letter from Hawks from your pocket. You handed it over to him, allowing him to read it over briefly. “What do you think about it?”

“If you want my honest opinion, I’m happy you’re not involved with all of this anymore,” Natsuya said, earning a sigh from you. You knew how he would react but nevertheless you wanted to see for yourself what he would say. Natsuya chuckled at your expression. “Don’t give me that look. You get reckless when anything Ground Zero related is called and it’s because you’re biased. Otherwise, you’re a great hero. But I’m glad Hawks stepped in and is taking care of this.”

You groaned. “I know but I’m still worried. What if I can help but it’s too late or if someone gets hurt instead of me?”

Natsuya wrapped an arm around you, rubbing your shoulders. “Y/N, Hawks is an amazing hero. He was number two back when we were still in high school and he’s still strong. Have some more trust in him, I’m sure he’ll have everything under control.”

You nodded, knowing that he was right. You felt guilty for not being able to decide to deal with Bakugou by trying desperately to understand that he’s not a villain and by trying to reprimand him because of his villainous actions. Natsuya sighed, kissing your head. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. I know you want to help but you don’t have to save every single person in the whole world. You’re not the only hero here. There are so many heroes, your colleagues, who are here for you and will support you.”

You nodded once more, wrapping your arms around his torso. “I know. Thanks, Tsuya.”

“Well, as much as I’d love to stay here like this, we’ve still got to go to work.” He patted your back as he got up, extending his hand out for you. You took it and he pulled you up, the two of you leaving to go to your respective jobs.

***

“It’s finally over!” Jirou cheered loudly, raising her arms into the air.

You sighed, rubbing the sweat from your forehead. You were asked to patrol areas that were considered “critical areas” that were most likely going to be attacked by the League by the Hero Public Safety Commission, the center that is run my non-heroes and it is involved in investigating the most criminally dangerous cases. Jirou was also in the area so she decided to tag along and help you out, just in case there was a scenario in which the League actually did attack.

“Are you headed home?” You asked.

Jirou nodded, stretching her arms out. “Yeah, this has been one of the longest days of my life. I’ve never felt so worked up. The League really needs to be stopped.” You nodded in agreement.

The two of you made your way back to the Commission Center, having to send in reports of what you had seen and the areas that you patrolled. The two of you waved to passerby’s, especially to the children who were ecstatic to have run into two major pros. Your phone rang in your pocket, continuing to vibrate uncontrollably as you fished it out. It was from the police station.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” A female voice asked from the other line. “This is Tsubaki from the station. Yamashita’s really busy right now but he wanted to make sure to make me tell you that you need to get to the Commission Center immediately.”

You began to worry. “Yes, I’m on my way now. Did something happen?”

“It’s awful, please hurry. Bring as many people as you can, I don’t know how much is left of it.” Tsubaki hung up.

Jirou read your facial expression. “That doesn’t look good.”

“We have to get to the Commission Center now!” You exclaimed, shoving your phone back in your pocket. You began running towards the Center, Jirou following suit. “Something’s going on there, and we have to check it out. Call as many pros as you can, I’ll do the same.” Jirou wearily nodded, wanting to know what’s going on just as much as you want to.

Dear god please let everything be okay…

***

The bar was quieter than usual, only the bartender keeping Bakugou company. But he liked it that way, finding the crowds of people who usually come to be intrusive and bothersome. Thankfully there weren’t any women trying to hit on him like most nights as they try and become the girlfriend of the most wanted man alive.

“Man, you didn’t have to yell at everyone to leave like that. You know it’s bad for my business,” the bartender, Watari, complained.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, setting his glass down on the table. “Oh, please, I’ll pay you triple my fee if you quit your bitching.”

Watari laughed, being used to his number one customer’s prickly attitude after the years he’s spent with Bakugou. Watari was the only man Bakugou fully trusted, someone he turned to when he was asked to abandon his family, friends, and his old life. Watari was also the only one who’s aware of Bakugou’s true identity, understanding that he had to become a villain to help out the pros.

Watari studied Bakugou, the now grown man that he saw as his own son. He set down the glass he was wiping. “You know every time I look at you I keep seeing that hopeless kid that came to me all those years ago.”

Bakugou scoffed. “Tch, I wasn’t hopeless. And I didn’t come to you, you saw me and came to me.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’ve never seen a kid with such a defeated look in his eye.” Watari chuckled at the memory, running a hand threw his gray hair. “I know the pros are the good guys, and I do trust them. I’ll just never understand what they were thinking asking a child to give up his dreams and his friends and family to help them out.”

“It’s not like they fucking forced me, I agreed to it, you know.”

“I know but I can’t stop thinking about that look on your face. You had to say goodbye to your classmates, to your dream of becoming the number one hero. Hell, if you ask me, you basically handed your dream over to (H/N) without any fight at all! And don’t get me started on you having to abandon your parents, your mother was pissed when you just disappeared all of a sudden.”

Bakugou’s lips turned upward, staring down at his glass as he reminisced with Watari. “That old hag was ready to fucking kill me, calling radio stations and news channels to find me. Must of surprised her when three years later her only son ‘murdered’ the leader of the League to become the leader himself.”

Watari laughed, shaking his head as he recalled the numerous amount of times he saw Bakugou Mitsuki stampeding through the streets to find her son. “You think you’ll ever talk to her? Once you’re done being the bad guy and can go back to your normal life?”

Bakugou sighed, leaning back on the table and staring at the ceiling. “That’s the thing, Pops, I don’t think I can go back. Not to the old hag, to my friends, to being a hero. I haven’t heard from my folks in fucking years, but I don’t blame them since they don’t know the truth. The minute I accepted this job, I knew that I wouldn’t be treated as a kid pursuing heroism like I was before. I’ve been in this shit for over seven years now, no one’s gonna accept me with open arms like that.”

“You’re wrong.” Bakugou turned his head to face him, confused. Watari smiled. “(H/N) would accept you. She’s been accepting you for all these years and she hasn’t been quiet about it either. Also, don’t forget that you have me, kid.”

Bakugou smirked as Watari patted him on the shoulder. “Yeah, it seems like you and that shitty girl are the only ones who believe in me.”

Bakugou turned his head back to the ceiling, closing his eyes and taking a breath in. He stills remembers being a broken down mess, agonizing over the decision he had made. Although he didn’t regret the decision he made, the initial reaction to being given the offer by Hawks was one that he could never forget. He was a high schooler, a teenager, a kid being asked to work with adults to help them out. He was a kid asked to become a double agent and he had to sacrifice everything for it, too. But he didn’t regret it. The minute he got abducted by the League during the Kamino incident, he knew he wasn’t the same fifteen-year-old U.A. student anymore. No matter how many times anyone told him otherwise, Bakugou couldn’t help but blame himself for the incident. And no matter how hard he tried to conceal how he was actually feeling, mostly everyone bought his act, believing that he was fine, believing that he was a tough kid that could put up with the aftermath of the incident.

That is, everyone except you. You saw straight through him and didn’t hesitate to call him out on his bullshit either.

As much as he had missed seeing his friends and his parents, he couldn’t describe the loneliness he felt when he realized he wouldn’t have the shitty girl who he saved from the rooftop of U.A. High nagging him everywhere he went. He couldn’t describe the feeling inside of him when he first saw your face after ten years those few weeks ago in that flower shop. He couldn’t describe the relief he felt when he heard you spew out your drunken yet supportive words for him. You always believed in him, you always cheered for him, and here you were ten years later continuing to believe in him.

Bakugou opened his eyes, shaking his head. It happened again; he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

His fingers subconsciously, like it was practice now, typed your name in the internet browser on his phone. He looked at the images that popped up with the search result. He internally wanted to puke at the picture of you beside your shitty police boyfriend on the day you were announced as the number one hero. What a fucking tool…

“Katsuki.” Watari broke Bakugou away from his thoughts. “Turn the volume up.”

Bakugou looked over to what he was looking at, getting concerned over the news reporter covering what was read as “BREAKING NEWS.” He turned the volume up.

“This is breaking news and I’m coming to you live from the Hero Public Safety Commission. As you can see, the building is completely burnt down, exploded from the inside. Police have been investigating all night, concluding that the explosions from the inside were not caused by notoriously wanted criminal, Ground Zero,” the woman on the screen said to the camera.

Bakugou stood up from his seat, his eyes widening. He had no idea what was going on. “What the fuck?”

“Officials have confirmed that the villain known as Kurogiri was involved in the attack. However, as he is a part of the League of Villains, he does not have a fire type quirk that would cause such an explosion. Officials have also confirmed that there was another figure involved in this atrocious attack, concluding that it was not villains Ground Zero or Dabi.

“To make matters even worse, the only pro hero that was able to get to the scene before all of this unfolded was Hawks. Kurogiri and the second individual involved managed to hurt Hawks so badly that he is currently critically injured and is in intensive care. Officials have confirmed that they do not know when or even if Hawks will be able to recover from this—“

Watari turned the television off, looking over at Bakugou who was absolutely furious over the events. Kurogiri had worked independently, taking orders from someone else, most likely the true leader of the League, and had hurt Bakugou’s actual boss. “Katsuki… Don’t do anything irrational.”

Bakugou grabbed his coat, slamming the bar door open. “I’m gonna kill that Warp Gate fucker.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Tagging: @chims-kookies @bokunoheroes-stories @iamthe-leaf @simplysymphonic @mylittlesunshineblog @imyourliquor-youremypoison @sxperhuman @sunflowerchild27 @miraculouskatsuki @geesshoku @ghoularaki @katsukiwonu @mochirecipe @kotakingly @giornouh @tyongflight

#the villain #katsukibakugou #bakugo #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo #bnha bakugou #katsuki #kacchan #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #boku no hero imagines #bnha katsuki #bnha imagines

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gainaxvel3o · 3 years

Text

A Miraculous Tale of Rubybug and Cat Blake Chapter 3

Previous / First / Next

If I don’t, who will?

Glynda Goodwitch was never one for tardiness.

Every year she'd get a new batch of students and they would all be the same. On one hand you have the lazy and unmotivated, the ones who coasted through high school and came here expecting an easy grade.

On the other hand, you have the tired and unfocused. These people struggled to get into Beacon and feel the weigh of expectations thrust upon them. They fear that they will not be able to pos the grade with even a C.

The last group are the ones she both loved and feared. These students are eager, motivated and ready. They are fearless in the face of error and have so much potential ripe to be unlocked.

The common factor among these groups was that they all needed discipline. And she would show them that discipline.

Glynda would most certainly do that for the girl who walked into the room just as she was in the middle of her lecture.

"Good of you to join us Miss Rose," She said. "Take your seat."

Ruby nodded, clearly embarrassed over being called out like this. Glynda wasn't sure which of the groups she fit in yet. She could only hope that the short girl learned her lesson.

"You will be taking your seat next to- OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU TWO STOP THAT!"

A pair of girls interrupted their passionate make out session to look at their teacher. One of them had long brown haired and blushed furiously at Glynda's outburst. The other one, who had a black beret on her head and a pair of sunglasses, only smirked.

"Sorry teach," Sunglasses girl adjusted them. "We just couldn't keep to ourselves this time."

Glynda was not amused. "Well since you clearly can't manage such a basic task, then you won't mind if I have Miss Rose take Scarletina's seat?"

"I… well." The shy girl said. "No it won't be a problem Miss Goodwitch."

She moved up from her seat, Ruby taking her place on it. The shy girl had to sit next to Ruby, a desk apart from Sunglasses Girl.

Yang had asked her to make friends this year. Ruby felt she was pretty lucky yesterday, Weiss aside. Maybe this time might also work?

"…Hi!" Ruby said whispering to the shy girl. "I'm Ruby?"

She really hoped she wouldn't get yelled at.

"Huh? I'm Velvet. Velvet Scarletina." The shy girl smiled. "Pleased to meet you."

Oh thank God it was another nice one. However, before any more conversation could be said, Glynda had already returned to the lecture.

"We have only 20 minutes before class ends, so pay attention." Ms Goodwitch said to the students. "The Fashion Industry is a harsh and cruel place where only talent and luck will save you. Thousands enter but only few make it to the top. Because of that, we need to perfect our skills to stand out among the crowd."

Ruby took out a pen and wrote down on her notebook. She was already late, but maybe she could get this right. Something had to go right today…

_______________________________________________________________________

After class ended, Ruby made a bee line for the bathroom.

No one was there (which was odd but she rolled with it), so Ruby rubbed the earrings. Out from them came Tikki, who looked concerned.

"Ruby!" She screamed. "I was so worried did something happened?!"

The girl was forlorn. She sighed sadly.

"I'm so sorry Tikki," Ruby said. "I went to look for Nooro but therewasthisbadguyandheturnedpeopleintomonstersandIcouldn't-"

"Slow down Ruby!" Tikki waved her stubby arms in front of her chosen. "I couldn't understand… did you say monsters?"

She nodded. "Yeah… that bad guy I beat up the yesterday, Roman… he had this tacky bowler hat and awful eyeliner and was calling himself Chadwick (like that Pinocchio character) and he turned all the prisoners into these… these donkey people! It was horrible!"

"Donkey… people…?" Tikki tilted her head in confusion. "Now I know something is strange, Nooro is a kind Kwami. His powers shouldn't be able to be used for evil gain."

Ruby herself had question marks written on her face.

"If that's true then how comes Roman was able to get this power?"

"Because he wasn't." Tikki said. "He was borrowing it from whoever is Nooro's chosen… they wee wielding dark power."

"Dark power?" Ruby asked, "What do you mean?"

The red Kwami hesitated. She closed her eyes, ha an utterly serious look on her face. It was the first time Ruby had seen her truly afraid. It worried her immensely.

"Ruby, this is more serious than I thought. The power… it's similar to an ancient evil that me and the previous Miraculous users faced before. When we lost the butterfly miraculous we just thought it was broken. That would have been preferable to this."

Tikki opened her eyes, a fierce glare.

"Nooro's power has been corrupted by the Grimm."

Ruby scratched the back of her head. "Okay… And who are they exactly?"

A few seconds pass.

"Oh right. You don't know the legends…" Tikki blushed a little. However, she regained her composure. "The Grimm were terrible things… evil things. They fed on the negative feelings human beings have and used it to become stronger. Nooro is the Kwami of Compassion. His power is supposed to heal and nurture whoever he possesses, help them overcome their flaws. Instead, his power is being used to corrupt people into monsters!"

"Like some kind of… Grimmification." Ruby hesitated to say, "It would explain his power."

"Yes that's exactly right! We have to find whoever is causing this and beat them!"

"I don't know Tikki… he managed to beat me this time what if he does it again? How do we even depower him?

"Don't worry about you losing that time Ruby!" Tikki quickly reassured. "It was your first real fight, and now that you know more you can do better this time! As for how to depower him…"

She conjured up the yoyo. Tikki opened it up.

"Nooro's power is to posses someone and grant it powers. However, each of these victims have a special item that contains the butterfly possessing them. If you can break it, you can use the yoyo to capture the butterfly and undo their effects on the world."

"Yeah! I can get help from Chat Noir!"

"Chat Noir?" Tikka's eyes widened. "Shit, that means Plagg's out."

"Wait, who's Plagg? Is he a Kwami?" Ruby asked. "What's wrong with him?"

"Him I don't have a problem with. It's his wielders I'm concerned about." Tikki said. "Beware of those chosen by the Cat Miraculous, Ruby. Such people tend to a sketchy history. I wouldn't want to get you hurt by them."

Ruby shrugged. "I dunno Tikki, she seemed nice. She saved me out today and promised she'd help me find Chadwick."

"She did?" The Kwami raised it's stubby arm to her chin, scratching it. "Just be careful. She could be manipulating you for her freedom. Previous users would woo Ladybugs to receive a kiss, made from love… and then leave them at a moment's convenience. I don't want you going through that heartbreak."

Ruby blushed heavily. 'True love's kiss breaks the spell, huh… like a fairy tale.'

Ever since she was a kid, Ruby loved fairy tales. Tales of heroes, princesses and creatures that lurked in the woods, she loved how even though they go through horrible and painful things they would eventually have a happy ending. Maybe even get married! That seemed nice…

Nowadays, she still liked them. They were entertaining, questionable moments from heroes aside. But Blake had been right when she said the real world wasn't like a fairy tale. Ruby kept that in mind when Tikki continued talking.

"We should go find him immediately! When do we get started?"

"I… I have to be with my friends first." Ruby said. "Once dinner is over then I'll get search for Chadwick again. I promise."

If Tikki noticed anything up with Ruby, she did not say. She only nods, and vanished back into the earrings.

Satisfied, Ruby left the stall. She opened the door only for it to bump into someone.

"Blake? Oh I'm so sorry!"

Her new friend waved it off. "Don't worry about it, Ruby. Where are you headed?"

"I was… umm…" Ruby chuckled. "I was heading to the cafeteria!"

"Good. Me too."

"…"

"So um… wanna walk together?"

"…"

"Sure."

_______________________________________________________________________

Chadwick sat down on a rooftop, panting heavily.

He had made a reasonable amount of distance from the prison. Roman didn't do that much exercise before or during his stint as a crook so this was a bit more than he could take. He wished he had a cool limo getaway car.

Or a scooter. Scooters were nice.

The more Roman thought about, his entire situation was pretty weird. The moment that butterfly landed on his hand and he heard a voice in his mind Roman thought he had been going crazy, Getting the power to turn people into donkeys and fighting those pesky heroes did nothing to soothe his worries about being insane.

Maybe the voice in his head would stop being vague and finally explain herself. He hoped for that as a glowing violet butterfly symbol appeared over his face again.

“You failed to get the miraculous, Roman.”

"Give me a break, woman." He said. "I was just about to when those stinkin' cops were about shoot me."

“If you hadn't gloated for so long you might have been able to take both. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take away your power and give it someone competent.”

That wasn't good. Roman had to think about this carefully. If he wanted to keep this power, he needed a plan of attack.

"Wait your disembodied majesty, I may have something that can get your special magic jewels!"

The voice hummed in thought.

“Go on.”

He got down on his knees and begged, "Now see here, Mayor Ironwood's gonna give a speech later today. It's gonna attract a whole lot of press… and a mountain of cockroaches I call people. So many people that I can turn into big grey jackasses and overwhelm those so called heroes and steal those earrings! I can make this work, trust me I won't do any screwing around that isn't in service of your goal!"

Chadwick hoped this would work. He wasn't prepared to go back to being Roman Torchwick, the puny criminal who got caught by a freaking toddler. With this power he can be more.

A feeling of sinister content flowed through him. The voice seemed to have made her choice.

“Very well. This is your second chance. If you fail, it is your own fault.”

Good. This was good. Chadwick gave no one but the air a cruel evil grin.

"Thank you mistress… say, what do I call you anyway? I'm pretty sure sure you're not just a voice in my head."

"Well Mr. Torchwick, I could be your magical godmother or your evil queen. So I guess I'll be your very own… Monarch."

_______________________________________________________________________

"Breaking news! The most unusual prison break!"

Lisa Lavender's voice and image was for all the students to see. The cafeteria watched with passing interest at the latest news to available.

"Reports found that all the prisoners had mysteriously disappeared, with donkeys found all over the place! Ladybug and a mysterious new Cat Girl were last seen fleeing the scene. No word had been given but suspicions are now placed upon Vale's latest vigilante…"

On one table, one Yang Xiao-Long sighed.

"Oh great don't tell me she's a fake. A real shame, If I can't trust an anonymous vigilante who can you trust?"

The same table sat not just her, but her… friends? Acquaintances? She hoped that these people were friends

"They can't be the ones responsible," Jaune said. "Okay maybe the Cat Girl might have done something but Ladybug could be going after the real bad guy!"

"At least she got a better costume," Ren said. "The other one didn't feel like her if I say so."

"I just know that I like Cat Lady's outfit!" Nora yelled while raising her fists up and down. "Quick Ren, do we have time to go shopping for cosplay?"

Yang rolled her eyes. She turned to find her precious sister and roomie walking towards them. Noting the seemingly forlorn look on their faces, Yang wondered if something had happened. If she should ask any questions.

"Yo Rubes! Blakey! Why not come with the cool kids at the table?"

Blake glared at Yang. "Call me that again and I'll end your life."

"What's going on Yang?" Ruby asked trying to prevent a problem. "How's the first day for you?"

"It's been going fine Ruby. Boring, but I met some cool people." Yang pointed at the TV. "We were just talking about Ladybug. People disappeared from prison and the news think it's her and some Cat Girl's fault."

Ruby frowned. 'They didn't say anything about Chadwick? That's so strange… or maybe that's how it is. The bad get away and the good get blamed…'

Blake had her own reaction. 'I expected the cops to cover up for their own incompetence. Police look out for each other, not the people. But… Cat Girl? Seriously? Would it have been that hard to get my name right? At least translate Chat Noir to Black Cat or something, I hate this.'

"Hey Pyrrha, you haven't said anything yet." Jaune said. "What do you think of this thing?"

Pyrrha seemed nervous about something. He wasn't sure what about, but Jaune didn't want her to be left out. She seemed pretty nice.

"Ah, well," Pyrrha said. "I'd rather wait until more information comes through. Sometimes we have to wait for the truth to come through right?"

"Yeah… that makes sense." Jaune nodded. "I hope her name is cleared. She saved my bacon and I'm not sure what I'd do if-"

"Ah, Pyrrha Nikos! Right in our midst!"

The group turned their heads towards the offending voice. The sight of Weiss Schnee with something that wasn't a frown or annoyance would normally be a pretty sight, but the gleam in her eye indicated that trouble was afoot.

The way Pyrrha was shaking from her words rang some bells in Jaune's head. She looked around to see if anyone heard.

"Um, could you please keep it down? I'm not-"

"This will be perfect!" Weiss interrupting. She clearly wasn't paying attention to her discomfort. "The great fashion model combined with the famous Vale athlete! Together we will be unstoppable!"

Everyone at the table looked at Pyrrha. Ren and Nora didn't really care all that much. A pal is a pal after all. Yang had an eyebrow raised. Ruby was rubbing her chin as gears were turning in her head trying to figure something out. Blake just stared impassively, not caring either way.

Weiss kept talking over them. Jaune had previously asked her out because she was pretty, but the way that Pyrrha tensed up at being recognized made him have second thoughts.

"I can see it now! We'll be popular! We'll be even bigger celebrities together! We'll get perfect grades! Nothing can come between us now!"

That about did it. Jaune had stood up now.

"You know what else is great?" Jaune said. "Me. Jaune Arc. Nice to see you again, Snow Angel."

Weiss was irritated at the buffoon from yesterday speaking to her. "You again? Haven't I told you enough that your incessant flirting will get you nowhere?"

"Yeah I figured. But you're not exactly being friendly yourself right now soooo…"

Weiss looked annoyed. Blake observed how Pyrrha seemed relieved when Jaune spoke up. She'll admit that this moment was about the most spine he'd shown but Blake thinks Pyrrha could do a little better than Jaune. He showed basic respect and nothing else.

Still, anything that annoyed Weiss was good in Blake's book.

"Jaune, is it?" Weiss said. "Do you have any idea who you've talking to?

Jaune shrugged. "Not in the slightest. Should I?"

"Miss Schnee, please." Pyrrha begged. "I don't want anyone to know!"

The ice queen ignored her words. "This is Pyrrha Nikos! Graduated top of her class at Sanctum, she's a super star football player who's athletics are known far and wide!"

Looks like the cat was out of the bag. Yang's eyes widened in surprise while Ren and Nora stared at Pyrrha with awe.

Pyrrha for her part was angry. It would have been foolish to think that her secret would be kept hidden for long, but she expected at least a week before it happened. Not immediately the day after arriving. She readied her fist to pummel the offending Weiss right now.

"Really?" Jaune tilted his head in confusion. "Never heard of her."

… What?

Pyrrha reeled a bit from the shock. He really didn't know her? Wonderful words to hear admittedly, but… really? Her fortune couldn't possibly be this good.

Any moment of shock Weiss had quickly disappeared. She scoffed at this clearly moronic ingrate too low for her.

"Oh please, you mean to tell me you're NEVER HEARD of the invincible girl who won the Mistral Football Tournaments four years in a row, establishing a new record!"

Jaune scratched the back of his head. "Can't say I've heard of them no."

Eye twitch. Weiss was feeling a very annoyed eye twitch happening right now.

"There's no way you could not know! She's on the front of every Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes box!"

A loud gasped was heard. It came from Ruby, looking as if a lightbulb was shining over her head.

"Holy crap you were on my cereal boxes!" She pointed at Pyrrha. "I used to eat Pumpkin Pete's all the time back at Patch and I didn't expect you to be a real person! Holy crud this is SO awesome!"

"Yeah, I remember doing that for a charity event." Pyrrha chuckled, shaking her head. "Sadly the cereal isn't very good for you."

Yang laughed heartily. "That's what I keep telling Ruby, but her sweet tooth overrides her common sense."

"Hey!"

"Wow I can't believe you didn't say anything Pyrrha!" Nora said. "Must be so fun being a famous football player! Closest thing to football was when me and Ren threw badgers at the trees expecting them to break down and reveal HIDDEN TREASURE! They didn't though which is so disappointing."

"I kept telling you it wouldn't work." Ren said. "You find treasure inside of caves, not trees."

"See Ren, this is why you're my other half!"

Weiss rolled her eyes at this most unorthodox nonsense. She simply had to get Pyrrha out of there for her own good.

"So, after hearing all of this do you really think you're in a position to talk to Pyrrha at all? You're not quite on our level."

Jaune frowned. "If she wants to talk to us, then that's her deal, Snow Angel. Not yours."

"Don't be ridiculous." Weiss said. "Pyrrha come with me, you need to be with people of your stature!"

At that, Pyrrha stood up from the chair. She glared at the Schnee with fire in her bright green eyes.

"And I'm telling your right now, I don't want to be around you. I asked you multiple times to stop and you haven't done it. Now leave me alone. I won't say it one more time!"

Her stare made Weiss take a step back. Her attempt to save this pure maiden from the savage ingrates had clearly failed. Oh well, she would try again another time. She wouldn't be intimidated by anyone. Definitely not going to run with a tail behind her butt because she was scared.

It was definitely that.

"Fine," Weiss turned around, scoffing. "Throw your lot with useless peons! But I'll be there if you need a true equal."

The heiress stormed off in a huff. As she took steps away, everyone on the table smiled in relief.

"Wow you handled her so well Pyrrha!" Nora said. "Maybe we can break her Schnees Knees next!"

"I… really wouldn't want to do that." Pyrrha sat down again, blushing in embarrassment. "I get enough press already. I just want to be a normal girl right now, at least for a while. Normal knees and all."

"I know what that's all about." Ruby said. Then she frowned. "Ohhhh and I have her for a roomie! Crud my life sucks."

Unable to help themselves, everyone laughed. Yang placed an arm on her precious sister's shoulder and rubbed it reassuringly.

"Hey don't worry Rubes. It's one semester. Soon as it's done we'll work on transferring you out of there into another room. "

Ruby smiled. She was so lucky to have a big sister like Yang around. It always seemed like Yang knew what to say, what to do… how to do it… Ever since Ruby was a little girl Yang had been her hero, the light that shined in the dark. In every way that mattered Yang had the qualities of a hero. She could have been a champion if Ruby hadn't been picked.

Maybe she should be. Ruby still had time to rectify it. Maybe Yang can be the hero she could never be. maybe-

"Ow! Stop it! Stop it please!"

Everyone at the table turned from the table. burly looking guy. He had an ugly crew cut and muscles meant for wrestling. He had been grabbing someone by the hair. Aside from a few glares, no one was lifting a finger to help.

"Shit man," Yang said. "Wonder if a teacher's here."

She turned to her sister, but Ruby wasn't there. Yang followed the sound of footsteps and found she was heading for the trouble.

"Hey Ruby? Wait a sec!"

Ruby wasn't listening. The girl instead travelled to where the noise came from. As she got closer, Ruby could hear words being exchanged.

"Fuckin' bitch, not so tough without your girlfriend here huh?!"

The girl- Velvet Scarletina. Ruby remembered her from class- strained against his grip. "Leave me alone, Cardin! You bastard!"

Cardin Winchester grinned. "Yeah? Well who's gonna stop me?"

"Hey!"

He didn't even notice the tight grip on his arm before he felt the punch coming.

_______________________________________________________________________

Blake Belladonna waited outside the conference room.

After the incident at the lunchroom, Ruby and Cardin had been called away to receive discipline. Cardin had left a few minutes earlier, not all that worried. Ruby had been inside longer.

Worry had built up within her. Blake hoped Ruby wouldn't get in trouble.

That worry only increased when the door opened. Ruby stepped out of it, looking… unlike herself. Previously Blake had seen with sunshine and smiles pouring from her very being. Now, Ruby's normally flashy grey eyes seemed dimmed, as if dulled by resignation.

It was not something that made Blake happy.

"You okay?"

Ruby looked at her. Thankfully a small smile seemed to form on her lips.

"Maybe… Surprised to see you here Blake." Ruby said. "Where is everybody?"

Blake shrugged. "The headmaster been called to attend a rally later. Mayor Ironwood will be speaking. I decided to stay behind to get you."

"Oh…" Ruby looked away. "Good."

"… Ruby." Blake said. "What did they say to you?"

The girl didn't seem sure what to say. She then sighed.

"Cardin Winchester acted out of line. But you shouldn't have acted so violently. You have to think about his future prospects." Ruby mimicked. She sighed. "They said if something like this happened again I would be kicked out."

Then, Ruby frowned. "It's so stupid. Cardin was the one hurting people. He got a tiny reprimand, but I'm the one who's punished? I thought it would get better in University… but it doesn't. It's so unfair!"

"I'm not surprised." Blake agreed, nodding sadly. "The world can be pretty unfair."

Ruby nodded, not saying anything.

The pair were walking outside. Ruby had noticed that the students were being filed into a line.

"Why are they lined up? Is it for that rally you mentioned?"

"Yes," Blake answered. "Yang and the others are in a different group. We'll see them later."

"Ooohhhh… nice!" Ruby said. "So what's this Ironwood guy all about? I don't really read much news."

"… Ironwood is… controversial." Blake tried to find the right words. "He's considered popular for raising the economy in Vale but some of his policies have been questionable."

"What do you mean by…" Ruby bit her lip. "Questionable?"

"Well," Blake said. "He increased funding for the police department, allowing them access to military grade guns and weapons."

Ruby raised her eyebrows. "Doesn't that seem… excessive?"

"Some think it's needed."

"What do you think then?"

"… I think it's horrible." Blake said. "I haven't had the best experiences with cops, and the last thing we need is to give them more stuff to harass people with."

"Sounds about right." Ruby scratched her chin. "The sheriff back in Patch acted all high and mighty 'cause he had a gun. Freaked my classmates out whenever he walked near the school waving that thing around. If that's one sheriff imagine the whole department like that."

They walked a bit further as the line continued.

There was a thought that had been nagging at Blake. A relatively simple question she wanted to ask. Considering that they were going to be there for a while, it seemed about as right time as any to start.

"Ruby…" Blake said. "Why did you do that thing earlier?"

The girl turned her head around. "What do you mean?"

"Punching Cardin." Blake said. "You knew you were going to get in trouble, but you did it anyway. Why?"

Ruby frowned.

"… Blake? Remember what I told you last night? How I wanted to be like the heroes of those fairy tales?"

Upon hearing those words, Blake's face morphed into a subtle glare.

"Is that it? You wanted to play a hero?"

"No no, it's just-" Ruby shook her head, pinching her nose. "Listen. Cardin wasn't going to stop harassing Velvet, and no one was standing up for her. No one. If I didn't do something, who would? Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. When someone's in trouble, you have to stand up for what's right even if bad things happen to you. Because if you don't… if I don't… then we would be no better than Cardin. The world's damned if nobody did the right thing. Just like you helped me the other day with Weiss, I had to do something. The fairy tale heroes worked for their happy ending. I'll do the same, maybe for everyone else. You understand?"

"…"

"… Sorry."

"No it's fine."

The two said nothing. They continued their walk.

At this moment, Blake felt an odd mix of emotions. Ruby thought she was saving her that time with Weiss… the girl didn't know. That time, Blake hadn't helped Ruby out of any sense of kindness. All she wanted to humiliate the mighty Weiss Schnee, nothing more.

Blake couldn't even say Chat Noir was helpful. She only helped Ladybug out because Plagg told her she would solve all her problems. A simple kiss was all that was needed, and Blake would wait until they defeated Chadwick to ask her for that.

If there was one thing Blake knew, it was that she was not a good person. A good person would help out of the kindness of their heart, wouldn't help people because it was convenient. A good person wouldn't run away when they did something bad, or stand around and watch as someone was going to get hurt. If she was good, she wouldn't have that accursed Plagg on her fingertips.

Every day, Blake looked at herself in the mirror wondering when she will feel fine. Perhaps…

She looked at the ring in her finger.

Perhaps with this, she might finally feel like herself.

_______________________________________________________________________

The crowd had gathered at Town Hall.

They surrounded a tall platform that was surrounded by several armed guards. The wide metal fences kept the people back.

Amid the cheers and screams of the audience were students either too tired or too jaded to care about the conference either way. One of those was Yang Xiao Long, who, bored out of her skull, searched around for her friend and sister.

"Where's Blake and Ruby?" She said annoyed. "They're supposed to be here aren't they?"

"Hey relax," Jaune smiled. "The crowd's pretty thick after all."

Yang knew as much. Upon hearing claps from the audience, she turned her head to see a tall bearded man in a white suit walking towards the podium. He waved, a practiced smile on his face and a slight shake on his right arm.

He cleared his throat, before taking the microphone into his left hand.

"Thank you all for coming ladies and gentlemen!"

James Ironwood considered himself a lucky man. Having served in the military for years, he knew the value of sacrifice. How men on the frontline were considered expendable by the chain of command, how compromise was necessary in order to complete the mission.

"In just a few months, elections will be heading underway. I will be running a campaign for reelection."

James kept that same attitude in the political arena. He had to pull strings and make alliances in order to get stuff done. Things that have made people uncomfortable, even suspicious. It was worth it in Ironwood's mind.

"Thanks to me, crime rates have gone down by 20% and the city infrastructure has prospered in my time. If you can get me elected again, we can do so much more."

The city is infected by lowlives and scum. He will do whatever it takes to ensure order in his city. He will protect the people from themselves.

His words faded into the background of applause, as Yang heard an apology or two from behind her.

"Sorry we're late," Blake said. "Thick crowd."

"See, I told you!" Jaune pointed at Yang. "Don't be so worried."

Ruby looked up to the podium. "Has he said anything interesting?"

"Eh," Yang said. "Just drumming up publicity for his campaign. Nothing solid, like usual for politicians."

"… on my soul, I promise," Ironwood said. "I promise to do a better job this time around than I did before. I will focus on the real issues affecting this city, and drive them out from our town!"

That got a round of applause from the audience. Ironwood basked in the praise, doing a little bow here and there.

This was not the best part of the job, far from it. The best part of the job is getting behind the desk and going through the boring, practical paperwork that'll allow him to make the big decisions. James smiled. Things were going well.

"Excuse me, Mayor Ironwood! Just a question!"

Now the questions barrage. Sometimes he wished Winter were still there to sort this stuff out.

"Of course," James said confidently. "Just as expected from the press."

"What do you have to say about the Ladybug vigilante? And her Cat-themed assistant?"

Ironwood breathed with a heavy sigh. Of course this would come up. Might as well get it out of the way.

"I will make my position clear. Ladybug is a threat to peaceful society as we know it. If we allow her to run the streets unsupervised she will bring harm the innocent and destabilize order. Her existence will cause an escalation in crime. If she cared to save people, she would join the police. As soon as this meeting is done I will put together a task force to hunt her down."

Now that caused quite a stir. The people were going uproar at Ironwood's declarations, some baffled, some relieved but most of all confusion.

"Guess someone's not a fan." Yang crossed her arms. "Not sure if I'm liking the guy so far."

"He has to pay lip service to law and order." Blake said. "Potential backers wouldn't be too pleased with a politician who openly supports a vigilante."

"That guy's a load of crap!" Nora yelled. "Ladybug's not a bad guy and I'm sure she'd do a way better job of being a mayor than that jerk face over there! Ren do we have the eggs?"

"Nora no"

"Nora YES!"

Ruby herself was not sure how to respond. Ironwood raised a good point. What if she made things worse by stepping in? Roman turned into Chadwick because of her. Maybe-

"Glad to find someone who isn't a fan of that bug!"

Several bowler hats spread around the area. The guards protecting the rally had them stuck to their heads, and dropped their guns. One fired in fear. That caused the crowd to disperse!

"RUN FOR IT!" Someone said. "They're gonna- AH!"

Ruby looked around in horror. Everywhere people ran, there were a couple or so who were writhing in pain, turning into creatures they were never meant to be.

"Get away Ruby!" Yang yelled in her ear. "Run!"

"YANG!"

Ruby felt her sister push her away. She couldn't see Blake, her friends or anyone she recognized in the crowd. Even amid the crowd she was alone.

Her earrings glowed.

Perfect.

_______________________________________________________________________

The situation had turned insane.

It was as if Ladybug was not a lucky charm but a symbol of a doom according to the world of James Ironwood. All it took was saying her name and then the cavalcade of bullshit reigned on him today. To think James was looking forward to a nice meal after this event.

He hid behind the podium. He could that his guards were being turned into hideous beasts, and despair gripped his heart at the thought he could end up like them.

"What the hell is going?!" James tapped his ear piece. "What's causing these attacks!?"

"I don't know sir," The voice on the other line. "Everything is getting chaotic. You need to get out of there."

"Spoken like a true detective," Ironwood said. "This is clearly a terrorist attack. Coordinate the police to block the perimeter."

The static in his ear gave him no answer as to whether his instruction was heard. Just then, Ironwood heard a thud. He surmised that someone had landed on the platform.

"Excuse Mr. Mayor," The stranger leaning his head on the cane. "I hope you don't mind if I take the mike."

Ironwood glared at this gaudy looking villain. He took out the gun from his pocket, only for the criminal to knock it out of his hand with the staff.

"You're a parasite to our city," James said. "I will stop you."

The criminal laughed. "Nah. I don't think so. You just sit there while I wait for the bug."

The man who was Roman Torchwick smirked at the Mayor glaring at him. He never liked Old Ironwood anyway. This has been the second most amazing day of his life. Seeing everyone turn into the horrible monsters they are deep down, causing chaos everywhere… It was truly an honor to see.

He would have to thank the Monarch. Chadwick will get the miraculous, after prying it from Ladybug's dead hands.

"Chadwick!"

Speaking of whom…

"If it isn't the stupid brat I beat earlier," Chadwick turned his head towards the teenage heroine. "Ready to hand over your earrings?"

Ladybug clutched her fists. "You wish. What are you doing here, Chadwick? Why are you involving innocent people into this?"

"Ignoring your remark about innocents." Chadwick said. "I can say with certainty that you are in fact the one responsible for this."

She hesitated. Her eyes widened in fear.

"I… what?"

Good, Roman thought. Shiny knight types tend to be the most easy to manipulate. Just use their sense of shame to your advantage and you win the deck instantly.

"That's right Ladybug, YOU are the one at fault!" Chadwick said. "I was but a mere criminal that night until my new master sent a teeny butterfly and VOILA! Chadwick got his start! I have the power to turn everyone I want into stupid little mules, which I wouldn't have been able to do if you didn't step into the limelight."

The violet symbol of the butterfly appeared over his face.

"Hand over the miraculous my child," A whispery, angry voice could be heard in synch with Roman's own. "and you will save everyone."

She had taken a step back. Roman was close to getting to her. If he kept talking, he would get the Miraculous from her own hands.

"Come on…" He smirked. "Hand it over… and do nothing."

Suddenly Chadwick was struck by a staff to his skull.

He fell to the floor, blood spilling from his mouth. Chadwick looked up to see Ladybug's partner.

"You are a liar and a cheat. Ladybug won't listen to you."

Chat glanced at her partner. Ladybug was breathing in and out, trying to control herself. Chat had seen this sort of thing before. What was needed was encouragement. That was something she could do.

"If Ladybug had not interfered, you would have endangered the life of an innocent boy. You've had a life of crime beforehand. All Ladybug did was beat you before you could perpetrate more harm. She did the right thing then, and she does the right thing now. Whoever your master is, they are not ones to be trusted. If they would endanger the lives of civilians to get the miraculous then how can Ladybug trust them to stand down when she does? The only way for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. Neither of us will stand aside to let you do as you please. Not now. "

Chat could feel the presence of her lady next to her. Ladybug stood tall, with yoyo in hand.

"Not ever." She said, staring down the criminal in front of her.

Chadwick wiped away from the blood from his mouth. Slowly he got up from the floor, facing the heroes in front of him.

"Stupid girls like you, always demanding things go their way. Fine. I'll just rip off the miraculous from your dead bodies!"

Yang won't lie. The situation was pretty weird.

One minute she and her friends were sitting at a boring political rally. Then everyone was turning into… Donkey dudes? She couldn't really tell what they were.

All she knew was, she had to punch. So she did.

Her hand hurts a bit, but these guys went down easily. That's a good sign.

"LAY OFF MY FRIENDS YOU BUTTS!"

Nora was off to the side whacking people around with her own punches. Now that Yang could take a good look, that girl was jacked! Not quite as much as her, but if Nora told a story about how she suplexed a bear Yang would believe it in a heart beat.

Ren wasn't doing too badly either. He wasn't hitting anyone, but no one was hitting him either. He was swift, moving like the wind to avoid getting swamped.

"Watch out Yang!"

Yang was caught off guard, getting hit from behind.

When she came to, a giant Donkey Man was standing over her. It was snarling, ready to attack anything was in it's way.

And she was right in front of it.

"… hey buddy?" Yang said nervously. "Sorry for hitting your friends?"

"HYAH!"

Something had hit it.

The giant Donkey Men fell to the side. Yang looked up, wondering who could have saved her then. Was it Pyrrha? Nora? Did Jaune do a second cool thing and save her?

Nope.

She certainly didn't expect to see a panicking, scared out of her own mind Weiss Schnee dropping a fire extinguisher.

"You people are idiots!" Weiss was practically screaming. "There are MONSTERS everywhere in this god forsaken street and you're just standing there and fighting?!"

"… Yeah." Yang said. "Seemed about right."

Weiss face palmed at that admission. "Whatever. Come with me, we can get out of here!"

"JAUNE!"

Yang and Weiss turned to the scream. Pyrrha was holding Jaune in her arms… or at least they presume it to be Jaune.

His hoof hands and transforming face are making it hard to be clear.

"Stay with me Jaune!" Pyrrha held Jaune tight. "Fight it! Don't let it control you!"

Yang didn't wait to ask the question. "What happened?"

Pyrrha frowned.

"I was trying to get away, but one of the hats almost landed on me." She said. "He sacrificed himself to save mine."

Jaune groaned in pain. Pyrrha gently rubbed his hair.

"Hey don't worry about it…" Yang tried to reassure her. She wasn't particularly fond of Jaune, but this was too much. "Ladybug will find a way to save him. I'm sure of it."

Yang hoped she did. She wasn't sure what's gonna happen if she couldn't.

_______________________________________________________________________

Roman remember when he thought this was the second best day of his life? He was mistaken.

Trying to dodge Ladybug and Chat Noir's attacks was a tricky feat. Unlike before, where they were exhausted by his Donkey Men, this time they were coordinated. They worked together.

If he tried to jump, Ladybug would use her yoyo to pull him back down. If he tried to run, Chat Noir's staff would bring him in. He would dodge one of the staff's swings, but Ladybug would punch him. He would swing his staff to try hitting them, but that just left him open for another attack.

'It is getting ridiculous!' Chadwick thought. 'Why don't they just give the fuck up and let me go?!'

"Ladybug!" Chat yelled. "The butterfly miraculous needs items to possess people. We need to find the item to break the butterfly out."

"Right." Ladybug nodded. "Working on it."

Ruby remembered Tikki explaining Nooro's power as well. She tried to guess at what item could have been possessed. Her first guess was the cane, but Roman was swinging it around without worrying about it. It was pretty sturdy too.

That left only one other place. How did he transform people into those monsters again…?

"Chat!" Ladybug yelled. "Aim for his hat!"

Chat raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I think his hat is the key! Break it or something and I can purify it!"

Roman was sweating bricks. He might actually lose…

"You're not stopping me! I have the power!"

He made a desperate charge at Ladybug, swinging his cane at her. However, Ladybug caught it between her hands.

"What the hell-?" Chadwick felt something come out of his head.

"Let's hope you're right, my Lady." Chat said. "Cataclysm."

The black bowler hat in her hand turned grey. Chat Noir gripped it even as the pieces turned to dust. Seconds later the wind carried the destroyed dust away from the palm of her hand. From the ashes, a glowing violet butterfly fluttered away.

"No no no" Chadwick was kicked away, tumbling to the floor. "Stop! Stop!"

Ruby knew what to do. She brought out her yoyo, and tossed it into the air. The yoyo opened up and captured the butterfly.

"Time to de-grimmify!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"Miraculous…CURE!"

The yoyo spun around. A storm of tiny insects burst from it, and covered… everything. Little ladybugs crawled everywhere, covering people, objects, anything in it's path. The average person would be horrified at the wave. It would have been a sign of a mini apocalypse.

However… it was the opposite of that.

The monsters that Chadwick brought into the world were undone. The donkeys returned to their original human shape, little by little.

"What… what happened?" Jaune groggily opened his eyes. "Did we… get em?"

"JAUNE!" Pyrrha held him close. Her eyes threatened to burst into tears. "You're alright!"

"Looks like Ladybug did it." Yang said. "Good on her."

The bugs where everywhere. More and more people were restored to normal. Any sign of damage had disappeared from their spread.

To make a bad pun… it was simply miraculous.

From the podium, Ladybug and Chat Noir were being watched by a curious audience. Some were frightened, unsure of what to say. Others…

They started clapping.

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked on at the audience applauding them. Both of them smiled. They beat the villain and saved everyone. What more would be needed?

"We did it…" Ladybug said, not quite believing those words. "We did it."

"Yeah." Chat placed a hand on Ladybug's shoulder. "We did."

Ladybug grabbed her hand. The two looked at each other again, closely.

"Was… there something you wanted to tell, Chat?" Ladybug had to ask. She needed to be sure about Chat's answer. "Anything at all?"

If she wanted to stop things here, if she wanted to be free from her curse… Ruby wouldn't have a problem. She did plenty, helping her today.

If Blake could hear those thoughts, she would violently banish them.

"No." Chat Noir said firmly. "We have yet to catch our mysterious butterfly villain. I will assist you until we manage to capture her, my lady. I won't let you down."

Hearing Chat say those words sent Ladybug's heart flutter. A blush appeared on her cheeks. She hadn't felt this way since…

Ironwood stood up from his hiding spot. He grabbed the microphone, and stared at the heroes in contempt.

"That criminal was after the likes of you two!" Ironwood yelled. "You two will be put under arrest!"

The crowd went insane. Yells and insults were thrown at the Mayor for his frankly godawful decision.

"What the HELL man?!"

"They saved our lives!"

"FUCK OFF!"

"LADYBUG! LADYBUG! LADYBUG!"

"I guess we should get going," Chat winked at her partner.

Ladybug nodded. "Yeah."

They jumped away from the scene. Ladybug swung in the air with her yoyo, while Chat crawled up the side of a building. The guards were disoriented from the earlier attack, so they didn't even try to fire on them.

Ironwood glared at the vigilantes.

"You won't get away with this, Ladybug. We'll hunt you down."

_______________________________________________________________________

"Oh thank goodness Ruby, thank you!"

Velvet had been crushing Ruby in a rather tight bear hug. She was shaking Ruby around wildly, which made the smaller girl dizzy.

"No problem Velvet," Ruby managed to say. "Stop crushing me."

"Sorry it's just," Velvet put Ruby down, smiling wildly. "Not a lot of people stand up for me, but you did! I'm super grateful for that!"

"Haha… it was nothing…"

"That was not nothing." Sunglasses girl came to the scene. "I'm Coco. Coco Adel. Thanks for helping my girlfriend out. Shame about Cardin not getting punished."

"Oh she was great!" Velvet hugged Coco. "I expected something like that to happen. I'm just glad she didn't sent away or something."

"Haha, that's true." Coco said. "Listen, Rubes? Me and Velvet need to do some work but thanks a lot. Hope to see more of ya in class."

The pair walked from Ruby.

Well that was nice. Ruby would say she did good today. She considered that a win. With that, Ruby turned around to head to her dorm.

Problem was, her dorm was all the way to the other side of the University. She'd have to cross the courtyard to do it.

It was also raining.

"I guess today wasn't so lucky," Ruby sighed. "Oh well. One bad thing in a day of good things I guess."

She was about to make a step, when she felt something over her head.

"Hey."

Ruby turned to see that Blake was standing next to her. She was holding an umbrella over her head.

"I was…. heading in the same direction." Blake said. "Maybe we could share?

Ruby blushed, but nodded.

The two headed out, the umbrella over their heads.

Ruby stole glances at Blake. She thought Blake looked so pretty then… it's like Chat Noir, the way she swore to help her and how she said she wouldn't let her down. Ruby knew that Blake wouldn't let her down either. Funny… both Blake and Chat Noir both caused her to blush so much today. She wasn't sure what that meant.

Blake thought about Ruby. All things considered, Ruby looked pretty cute right about now with the way she blushed. She also thought of Ladybug. Blake could have asked Ladybug for a kiss so she could go back to normal. Ladybug even seemed to give her an opportunity to do so. But then that would mean people would get hurt, and Ladybug would be alone. She won't let her down. Ladybug and Ruby inspired the good in her, it seemed.

As Blake protected Ruby from the rain, neither noticed two sets of eyes staring at them.

"I'm just gonna say it Ren," Nora said. "They're gonna be together together."

"It's incredibly obvious Nora."

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tyonfs · 3 years

Note

🤧: heyo it’s me again

I wasn’t gonna add another ask so quickly but I had a rough couple of days to be honest and I have felt very lonely, unloved and very unmotivated to work on my current sm au.

Is there any chance you could send Renjun pics? You always have such good ones and he has such a comforting/heartwarming aura and smile 💕 I just need a reminder that even if life fails me here and there Renjun is sending love with his angel like aura 😔

hello again queen ♡ when i see you in my inbox twice 💗💞💖💞💓

and i’m so sorry you’re feeling that way :(( i hope everything’s okay but take care of yourself and ik you can get through it !! and don’t worry about your au omg, it’s perfectly healthy to take breaks when you need to!

and YES i always got renjun pics for you and he always looks like an absolute angel :(( 💗 and I KNOW 🥺 he always gives off the feeling that everything’s gonna be alright ♡ but here are some other links for you too !!

renjun talkshow ♡ you need spotify for this so i hope you got spotify but basically it’s a podcast with all his singing covers and vlives!

the lazy song - renjun ft. mark ♡ TBH LINKING THIS BECAUSE THE DOMESTIC VIBES MAKE ME FEEL SO SAFE AND CALM

fools - renjun ♡ linking bc this is a cultural reset and i literally can’t not link it

a wholesome compilation of renjun ♡ he is just ,,, so perfect and soft pls

and ofc a pic spam ♡

and bonus ♡

#tyonfs asks #🤧 anon

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solitariusdeluna · 4 years

Text

Opinion time: Whether or not Coyote Starrk is deserving of his rank as the PRIMERA

Spoiler alert: he’s completely deserving.

As the title of suggests, this is going to be a very very very long part rant part facts piece about why Coyote Starrk deserves to be the Primera Espada, contrary to what sp many in the fandom think. Brace yourselves, fam.

So it’s no real surprise that way too many people have taken it upon themselves to question if he was ever worthy of being the first Espada and that’s simply because he’s super underrated and hardly got any screen time except when he duked it out with Kyoraku.

Let’s begin with the guy himself. I mean he’s not your regular baddie now, is he? And that makes him rather original in the bleach universe tbh. For a “villain” and given his stature, he’s not all that antagonistic. Like at all. Not even a tiny bit. Out of all the characters in bleach, he’s practically the only guy who actively doesn’t give a sh*t or even care about the HUGE battle that he was taking part in.

And it’s because of that very sentiment that people often mistake him as being lazy and just wanting to get it over with so he can go nap since well, that’s like the only other scene that we saw him in. By design, he’s also quite the understated character and given his position as the first Espada, he’s meant to come off as the underdog.

Especially when you consider that Barragan is the second Espada. Okay, and we all know that Barragan is supposed to be that ALL POWERFUL RULER OF HUECO MUNDO! We’re supposed to think that Barragan is supposed to be number one then and when it turns out that Starrk actually is, it’s supposed to subvert your expectations as to what makes a powerful character within this army.

But going back to his design, even if it looks less flashy than most, I think he has the best design among many in the series. He’s definitely quite the looker, i mean look at those cheekbones! And that wavy brown hair and his striking grey-blue eyes and his tall stature. He’s not flashy but he’s definitely handsome.

He’s also the forgotten Espada, unfortunately. Because despite his position as being numero uno. He really doesn’t show up quite a lot in the Arrancar arc and his fight with Shunsui actually doesn’t take that long either. Not only that, he doesn’t get a volume cover, and he’s also one of the only Espada, it’s only him and Aaroniero that don’t face a single bad guy in the story.

And this is just one of the few reasons that people seem to think that maybe Starrk didn’t really deserve his position at the top. When compared to Espada like Barragan and Ulquiorra who have very extravagant attacks and abilities, Starrk in comparison comes across as a wee bit plain.

So when think cero attacks, they’re so over the top and cool, right? But even though Starrk can practically wield his ceros in manner that none of the other Espada or arrancar can, no one seems to notice. I mean he just has to stand there and it just happens, all on its own. No pick up your finger and point like pew pew pew the way Ulquiorra does, or just rage shoot it out of his entire hand as though he’s shoving someone into oblivion the way Grimmjow does.

As noted by Shunsui, unlike other Arrancar, he can apparently fire a Cero without a "fighting pose", meaning he can fire it without any warning from body gestures. Starrk can do it without any gestures. He can fire it from various points on his body such as his chin or chest and he also charge and fire it rather quickly without any warning, leaving even less time for his target to react.

Starrk’s got guns. Big guns. and they’re pretty badass too especially when you consider the details on the sides and all. But when you compare them to a skeleton with a crown that can dissolve you to the bone, well... it can pretty much be hard to justify why starrk is numero uno while barragan is number two.

Now yeah we all heard the age old argument that all over the fandom that Barragan is actually meant to be number one and is only number two because Aizen put him there to insult him and wanted to deflate his big fat ego plenty. I can see that and it might make some sense but it totally and completely isn’t doing Starrk as a character and a fighter any justice.

Now in spite of his relatively short amount of panel and screen time and given that his abilities are not as impressive as some of the other Espada and by impressive you know i mean showy as heck, I’m gonna lay the facts why Starrk is deserving of his rank at the top of the Espada ranks even if he was not the most memorable character ARGUABLY.

Point#1 Let’s talk reiatsu:

Going off the main canon reason we have to go off the ranking of the Espada is that they are ranked by their reiatsu. Starrk has an abnormally large amount of it compared to almost every other character in the series. His reiatsu was so vast that it killed mountains amounts of hollows and that’s even after he split his power into, an entirely second person, Lilynette. And unlike every single other arrancar and that goes for mister surprise bullshit twist zero espada yammy, Starrk’s zanpaktou is not his power. That was more of a prop for him as wiki states; Sheathing his sword, Starrk, calling Lilynette over, reveals he and Lilynette are one: while other Hollows split their power into their sword and body, they split into two bodies instead, and once they are one again, their full power will be released.

Now whether it was starrk or lilynette that was the original body -- which is going to be a case of the chicken or the egg type of deal tbh. but my headcanon in this regard would be that their hollow being was a huge collection of souls amassed over time and it existed for ages upon ages. but then starrk and lilynette’s souls seemed to be the strongest out of the whole bunch so basically that’s why it’s them who’s the representative power of that original hollow they were a part of and now with starrk being the stronger one of the two since he’s the older one.

But getting back to Starrk’s zanpaktou, lilynette is his source of power and basically his zanpaktou. While every other arrancar turned their power into a blade. According to bleach lore, the size of a person’s zanpaktou is relative to their reiatsu. Going off of that, starrk has managed to condense his reiatsu into the smallest form that it could be and that is that of a human child. But also again the two them combined even after being split up, are enough to kill mountains of hollow. That’s how powerful they are.

special note: when starrk decided to follow aizen, he did it out of his reasoning that, hey i know this guy isn’t going to die because our killer power so yeah, why not? let’s do this.

Anyhoo, since their reiatsu is absolutely and utterly crushing for any hollow that comes within their proximity. hollows that aren’t particularly powerful but still okay. still. no one else can do that so suck on that, haters! Not even this guy:

the self proclaimed and all powerful king of hueco mundo aka barragan louisenbairn. who just so happened to be sat in a court of hollows, like a whole bunch of them. and yet, none of them were getting killed. none of them. not with his reiatsu alone. so. yeah.

moving on.

Point#2 Starrk’s battles:

So this is where the real meat of the argument of why he’s deserving of being the primera espada comes in. Putting aside the fact that starrk wasn’t the least bit interested in the whole battle thing and didn’t have the blood lust or duty bound attitude like the rest of the espada -- and that’s because he’s pretty much indifferent to things in the first place. We know that he’s unmotivated which comes across as very lazy to most people aka that whole omg starrk is a fucking lazy bitch thing that most of the people in the fandom go on about...

He’s not lazy. He’s unmotivated. There is a difference. It comes with his nature of being very apathetic and uncaring. I personally like to think that he doesn’t care to exert energy into things that don’t really matter. But I digress.

At the start of his fight, starrk is very clearly not even trying and he says so himself a bunch of times. Even though kyoraku was trying to pretty much kill him and get this thing over with, starrk not once retaliates in kind. Which makes this INCREDIBLY UNUSUAL for a bleach fight and villain. And a top tier bleach villain at that, and that’s what makes him interesting. He’s not your regular sort of villain. If one can even call him that really.

Anyhoo, let’s stop and actually consider the caliber of opponent that starrk is up against. It’s one of the oldest captains of the gotei 13 and a disciple of old man yama-jii himself. So that’s something in itself, okay?

Let’s take a quick detour though:

And bring back barragan into the picture, mostly because he’s the one who’s supposedly meant to be the primera espada right? (psst, wrong. like really.) Barragan is all about the pizzazz and show and bling bling. I mean look at him, he’s pretty much decked out in the best gold complete with a little crown on his head too.

Barragan is powerful, there’s no denying that. And he knows it. That’s the contrast between Starrk and him though. He knows his power and his unrelenting about his use of it. Because he wants people to know that he’s strong unlike starrk who just doesn’t give a flying monkey’s arse. And when barragan activates his release form we get a tremendously awesome and stunning display of power in the way in which he manages to reduce Soifon’s hand into nothing but it’s bare bone. That was frightening and it was one of those moments that was meant to stay with you as a observer. Because it oozes the sentiment that, this guy should not be trifled with.

The difference is however, unlike starrk, barragan is not consistent. Barragan’s fight goes downhill right after that kickass moment of him dissolving soifon’s hand muscles away. and that was the best part of that fight.

detour over.

Okay, now back to starrk (the one and only and deserving primera).

Starrk in his battle with Kyoraku manages to stay consistent. Something that Barragan failed to do. Barragan is just not on the same level as starrk for a number of reasons.

1. Starrk has a personality that is just not seen among all the other arrancars. He’s cool. He’s calm. And he’s collected. But he’s also incredibly intelligent and ridiculously observant, on a level that we just don’t even see in the series. He was quick enough to observe that Kyoraku was actually ambidextrous despite his trying to hide that as best as he can. He was also able to figure out that Ukitake’s zanpaktou was able to do after seeing it three times in action.

2. He is strategic. That’s exactly why he was able to figure out how to best beat Rose and Love WHO BY THE WAY WERE ALSO CAPTAIN LEVEL OPPONENTS SO STARRK FOUGHT NOT ONE BUT FOUR CAPTAINS -- Again, suck on that, haters! Ahem, anyhoo. A battle is won not only by force and power but also by strategy. But also in one’s ability to keep a cool head and be quick enough to able to adapt to the situations as they arise. Which starrk was able to do throughout his encounters with those four different captains.

3. He is not an Urahara/Askin type of character, those guys are more known for being able to continually use their wits and are something of deus ex machina in their own right in that regard. The type of characters who you know are really really powerful but are downplaying it or hiding it so much.

4. From the start of his battle with kyoraku to the time ukitake (the other discipline of yama-jii and old timer captain of the gotei 13) turns up, Starrk didn’t take a single hit. He doesn’t get hit, once. And that is just badass, especially given the fact that he was going up against ukitake, kyoraku, rose and love. In his resurreccion, starrk was able to keep a level head and access the situation all while dodging every single attack he was thrown with. And despite kyoraku’s tendency to fight dirty and sneaky. Still, starrk managed to dodge, everything. Starrk’s ability to control the battlefield with his ceros and simultaneously dodge everything these two old and very high level captain class characters throw at him is pretty much nothing short of impressive if you ask me. But wait, there’s more.

5. Once ukitake and kyoraku are taken out of the fight, starrk goes up against Love and Rose. You know, the hollowified and presumably strengthened tremendously because of that fact captain level guys that were exiled to live in the world of the living. So that’s back to the point I made early which is pretty badass in its own right and NO ONE ELSE HAD TO DEAL WITH MIGHT I ADD! He was dealt with the TOUGHEST fighters around. Clearly. But you know what was cool? Starrk was literally toying with them, the entire time. He did take a hit because of Love when barragan died but it was like him just laying there and being something of a comedic moment and he wasn’t the least bit hurt. He wasn’t even being serious the entire time and then his awesome bomber wolves wiped them out -- even though it’s still highly doubtful he was fully into the fight even then but. that was that.

Speaking of those awesome bomber wolves;

His resurreccion’s other special ability aside those mad cero shooting skills and he summons his army of spirit wolves and that was his moment to shine pretty much. These wolves decimated Rose and Love with ease and starrk didn’t even have to move from his spot. not once.

Now if we go back to barragan though, he was pretty much freaking out and got half his skull clearly wiped out of his head when he got hit and he was pretty much losing his mind. But that’s because of his personality and that pompous being he is that ended up holding him back. Compared to starrk who remained in control and completely so, the entire time he fought with all these strong opponents.

BUT CONVERSELY;

Okay, so he held his own against four captains but then he didn’t fight a bankai and ended up losing to a shikai. When we take that into consideration, well, yeah. that does sound really bad. not gonna lie. Being the first espada in Aizen’s army killed by a shikai.

Except, we have to take into account with everything that was mentioned thus far, Starrk was winning the fight with ease. He was in control of the entire battle from start to finish, hardly took any damage even though he went through kyoraku, ukitake, love and rose. He was always on top of his game throughout and he wasn’t even into the whole fighting thing okay. that’s the main point here.

He was crushing it. Starrk was winning it. Especially after he wiped out Rose and Love. Until Kyoraku emerged from the shadows and took a stab at him. It was in this battle that we learned more about Kyoraku’s personality when in battle and we find out that he’s pretty much not afraid to be sneaky and low-ball his opponents. And that’s because according to me, he’s pretty much got that mindset that “all is fair in love and war, baby.”

Kyoraku’s unapologetic and that’s pretty awesome of him. Plus, given that he was up against starrk and he noticed how things were going, he decided to up things and go all out without using his bankai. Which he was actually considering by the way, but Ukitake was all no, man. don’t you dare at him so he didn’t. But this was why Kyoraku decided to literally...

...stab starrk in the back.

And just end this once and for all. And there was no way starrk could have gotten out of that scenario because it played perfectly into kyoraku’s hands. And even Rose and Love didn’t expect it, because in the world of bleach, it’s just not etiquette to come crashing into someone else’s fight -- which was exactly what Kyoraku does.

Love and Rose were just superbly outmatched and kyoraku saw an opportunity and he just goes ahead and stabs starrk in the back. And it was that stab that finished it. Game over.

It takes starrk right out of the game. Because from that moment onwards, starrk’s head just wasn’t in the fight anymore. It was so dirty and he didn’t like and he was supposed to be the bad guy.

Tut tut, kyoraku.

Anyhoo, Starrk didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to fight. He gets a little bit into it and takes out Love and Rose. But when Shunsui stabs him in the back and rattles him. It caused Lilynette to step up and sacrifice herself for his sake but from then on it was just what was the end all for him at that point. He was thrown into an emotional tailspin that shook him to his core, ended his reasoning and that entirety of calmness he had throughout his battle.

That was seriously heartbreaking to watch too. He lost the other half of his soul and one can only imagine the type of pain that brings about. It weakened his resolve and when your opponent’s resolve to fight is weak, well then, of course you’ll be the victor and that was exactly what happened.

Shunsui won. But he won dirty.

But if you consider that he went up against two of the oldest and high level captains and two hollow strengthened captains and still held his own until he was dealt that unfortunate blow, starrk is pretty damn well deserving of his rank as the primera espada. He is not the primera because barragan was slighted by aizen. He’s the primera because he held his own pretty darn well despite not feeling it at all.

And that’s the end of that, friends. Show respect for starrk. He’s the primera and he deserves it.

#PROTECTSTARRK2020

#i dunno what to tag this as #hcs;#or maybe #Facts;#cut for length tbh #and it is long #also that spoiler alert first sentence is thanks to elxfi uvu and i stole it #because it is so true #omg this took me 2 days to write #wow #a whooping 3168 word count #but it's finally done!!

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tiaragqueen · 5 years

Text

Cave In

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Park Jimin x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,2k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Isolation, possessiveness

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission.

Requested by @kpopgirlbtssvt

***

For some reason, I feel completely unmotivated lately. I just can’t seem to get the words right, therefore I apologize if it’s not up to your liking.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“I hold you down; kiss you so hard. I’ll take your breath away, and after I wipe away the tears, just close your eyes.” - Possession [Sarah McLachlan]

You felt suffocated.

No, the room wasn’t small by any means. In fact, it was rather spacious and there wasn’t much furniture to make it crowded. Just some basic ones such as closet, bed, two nightstands, and dressing table. It was plain, per se, and had more than enough space to breathe in. The air conditioner hummed quietly in the furthest corner, but other than that, there were no electronic devices. Not even a television.

But waking up in a foreign place wasn’t something that you’d experience every day, nor did you’d expected this beforehand. Now, you had been here for more than three hours, wrists chained around the bedposts. With the clock ticking in the background, your breath became ragged to the point of hyperventilating. Your heart thumped wildly, and you feared that it might burst out of its ribcage anytime soon. You were sweating and shaking as if you had been running a marathon, wide eyes darting around from one spot to another vigilantly. Swallowing the nerves didn’t help your tight throat, and your lips were awfully dry too no matter how many times you licked them.

The restlessness grew in each passing second as you fidgeted with the chains, trying to ease the blister in your irritated skin and – possibly – releasing them. It was ridiculous, you knew that much because you didn’t have the key and you weren’t some super-strong human with an ability to break chains. Though, it was certainly a nice thought to entertain. You mumbled a repeated prayer, remaining alert to any sign of danger that might occur.

The door creaked, eliciting a start from you. With the ever-growing apprehension and bile that rose to your tight throat, you watched Jimin cheerfully skipped inside the room. He uttered a greeting that you failed to hear through your ringing ears and plopped down beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shivering shoulders, he brought you close to him and smiled.

“Jagi, how are you doing?” You knew he knew you weren’t faring well; it was blatant through your mannerisms alone. But he went on anyway, as though he was asking about the weather. Regardless, you buried your face into his chest and sobbed.

“I’m scared.”

Jimin cooed and stroke your hair. “Poor you...” His normally soft voice sounded mocking in your ears. “You must feel very lonely too, right? Well, worry not. I’m here now, for you.”

You avoided the thought of him being your captor, but when he fished out a key from his pocket and unlocked the chains, you knew that it wasn’t baseless at all. That it wasn’t just an unfair assumption or the blame that you’d put on him due to your current... predicament. You didn’t like to play the victim or appear weak, but the reality forced you to think otherwise. Besides, he had – unknowingly, or was it? – helped you alleviate your anxiety attack. Therefore, you’d be a fool to let it slip.

Did you really want to seek comfort from your kidnapper?

Stealing a glance over your shoulder, you frowned. It wasn’t as if you had a choice, anyway. The window was barricaded, and you didn’t need to go outside to know that he had most likely done the same to other windows. Jimin had always been an overly cautious one, or paranoid to say the least. You just never thought he would resort to this option.

Oh, who were you kidding? This was Jimin you were talking about. Nothing was too extreme or impossible for him to achieve to keep his lover close.

Regret constricted your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut in reluctant resignation. You should’ve paid more attention to her warning when she told you that Jimin was an overprotective and possessive man. And you should’ve indulged in your laziness to stay in your house instead of going out to comfort him after breaking up with her. Then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be stuck in this room.

Well, what kind of a person who would let their friend cry alone? You were beginning to consider that your selflessness might as well be your weakness too because you certainly couldn’t bear to see his bloodshot eyes and trembling lips.

If only you could reset the time...

But who were you to get that privilege?

“Cuddle with me?”

You nodded mutely as you lied down beside him, still enveloped in his embrace. It wasn’t so bad and had it occur any other time, you would’ve thought of it as comforting. But now that you experienced first-hand how twisted he was behind that sweet and innocent façade, your feeling was far from comforting.

“I’m really lucky to have you, you know?” he murmured, chin resting on top of your head. “You’re so caring and beautiful. Sometimes, I wonder why did I even date her in the first place.” He chuckled. “Stupid me for being blind to the blessing from God.”

You remained quiet, opting to listen to whatever he was rambling about. It wasn’t like you could bring yourself to answer, anyway.

“When she left me, heartbroken, you stayed behind to console me. You were so worried, and you even cried when I told you about my breakup. It was the first time anyone ever reacted that way, and I knew then and there that you were special. Such a sensitive heart; so easily bleed to the slightest sob story. It’s rare to meet someone as sympathetic as you. I can’t possibly let the world taint your innocence, can I?”

Jimin sighed contentedly. “But that’s okay. You’re here, I’m here. We’re together now. Nobody can separate us anymore. Not her, not anyone. I’ll devote my life looking after you, just like what you’ve been doing all this time. Consider this... as a reciprocation. Even though I know, that I can never be as kind as you.”

Intertwining your fingers with his, he looked down. “Jagi, look at me.” When you gave no response, he gripped your hand. “Look at me, please.”

Despite the polite request, the venom in his tone did nothing to hide the creeping irritation. He might prefer not to hurt you, but he wouldn’t hesitate to use force either. Like now, for example. The gesture seemed subtle, yet the pain from your hand and hair said otherwise.

Gulping, you hesitantly peeked up through your lashes. “Y-yes...?”

Jimin beamed, pleased to see you comply without anymore... coercion. “Kiss me?”

You sucked in a shocked breath, glancing around his chubby features to search for any sign of playful intent. There was none, as expected. Jimin never joked about affection, being a highly affectionate man he was. Still, it didn’t make his demand felt any less perturbing.

Slowly, you pushed yourself upwards so you would be eye-to-eye and landed a shaky hand on his cheek. Jimin hummed, waiting for you to continue the process. His patience was wearing thin, however, which was why you needed to act fast. After a brief moment of contemplation, you reluctantly leaned forward and pushed your lips against his.

It should’ve been an innocent peck, but Jimin was quick to make it even more passionate than it had to be. He kissed you with the fervor of a hungry man, almost pushing you to the edge of the bed had his hand didn’t hold your back.

Jimin finally withdrew before you could lose another oxygen and panted. Your face was blushing, and he chose shyness as the main factor. It wasn’t far-fetched, sure, but overwhelmed suited better. Not that he would care much.

“You're so cute; looking all flustered like that.” He smiled, gazing at you tenderly. Much to your surprise and dismay, he stole another kiss and grinned mischievously. “We’re gonna enjoy our time here.”

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those-dragon-books · 4 years

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a few thoughts on the future of the rainwing tribe from mod eaz

i honestly think the possible ideas for this tribe are. really interesting??? it’s probably the most beloved tribe in the fandom, after nightwings of course but. im just gonna toss my own worthless thoughts down

so, as of right now (that i’m posting this), the tribe is doing pretty okay with glory as the queen and i believe the nightwings still live in the rainforest.

now, let’s look a bit farther into the future for these fellas: i think it’d be pretty realistic for the nightwings to eventually find another home. there are a few interesting fan interpretations for where exactly they’d go, but i think they’d go somewhere. but i’m not discussing them right now, so let’s just say: in this hypothetical future, the nightwings have found a different permanent home, and function with their own queen/ruling system. there are some exceptions of course, like deathbringer, which would stay behind.

Now, of course, since glory is relatively young, she’ll live for awhile, and i doubt we’d see any of the dragonets of destiny die in the series, or, at least, from old age, but let’s say tui didn’t decide to somehow kill one of them.

eventually, of course, glory would die of old age- who would be her successor? the obvious answer is firefly, glory and deathbringer’s daughter (presuming that the future where firefly exists will come true.) however, i feel that if in this future, since nightwings are gone and living in a completely different place, it wouldn’t make much sense for firefly to take rule, due to being half nightwing. even if it did seem fit for her to take rule, i have a feeling glory wouldn’t wish that kind of stress on her daughter. and, as we know, the rainwings dont duel for positions in royalty, so it’d have to be either A.) glory hands down her power or B.) they have a peaceful competition, similar to the one that was between magnificent and glory.

however, again, glory doesn’t seem like the type to want to pass that sort of thing onto her daughter- i imagine she’s the type to want her to have a relatively stress-free life. besides, i think another idea is more interesting.

so, bloodlines for royalty are iffy in the series right now: glory didn’t seem opposed to becoming queen of the rainwings before finding out she was related to grandeur, so i doubt she really cares about bloodlines, especially after the whole fiasco with thorn becoming the queen of the sandwings despite having no relations to the royal bloodline.

leading from this, i think the idea of her picking a successor from her tribe would be a more interesting idea.

i’ll elaborate: as we know, the rainwings for awhile were rather lazy and uncaring of both the other dragons in their tribe as well as the affairs of other tribes outside of the rainforest. it took awhile of glory attempting to toughen up her tribe and teach them to be less ignorant, as well as having tsunami help with training dragons to be better at fighting. as of what we know, glory has a large pack of guards following her around at all times. some other changes include the better care for dragonets, the better knowledge of tribe history, the better knowledge of other tribes in general, etc. now, of course, there are still some changes to be made for this tribe that will probably be worked towards.

from what we see, even now the guards following around glory (not including deathbringer) act, understandably, rather inexperienced and unmotivated, even if they are so desperate to protect their queen. we also have examples such as the very flawed mudpit prison that they use.

i imagine throughout her life, glory would help shape the tribe more and more, until the tribe to a point even relies on her for keeping it together. she’d probably get ways in terms of helping the rainwings.

however, lets say she dies, and lets return to the idea that she picks a successor, more specifically, a rainwing successor she sees fit.

as i mentioned, the tribe would probably grow to rely on glory, since she was the dragon that made them- well- yknow, more like a tribe. she changed the way every rainwing lived.

the tribe would’ve probably been well up to that point, thriving, even, due to the endless resources of the rainwings, the peaceful nature of the rainwings, and glory’s rule.

but lets say then, glory dies, and she has a rainwing she picked take her place.

now, there’d be two possibilities in this hypothetical future:

A.) the tribe had matured enough to live without glory, even if everyone alike is downput by their queen’s unfateful demise. however, they’d learn what she taught them during her rule and learn to thrive in future generations with new, well-picked rainwing queens.

B.) the tribe would have grown to rely so much on glory and her wisdom during her queenship that the rainwings would be unsure what to do with themselves, and the new rainwing queen would be nearly unable to form together and keep in place this confused, helpless tribe wishing to have glory back.

now, i dont know about you, but the second option seems more interesting, so lets explore it.

a lot of questions would be posed: would they lose the progress they had made, or just fail to advance further without glory? what would the pressure of keeping the tribe together do to the rainwing queen? would she be able to pick a new, responsible queen for when she retires?

there’s also the possibility that other tribes could help with the reform of the rainwings- we can only guess that nightwings and rainwings would be close allies, what would they do in response to their ally suddenly going into chaos at the death of someone who had held them together for decades?

anyway, feel free to expand on this thought. just a hypothetical idea for the future of the rainwings.

#mod eaz #mod eaz talks #wings of fire #wof #wings of fire aus #wings of fire au #wof alternate universe #alternate universe #au #rainwings #glory #book analysis #long post

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snoozejoon · 5 years

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Too Much | Park Jimin

pairing: park jimin x black female oc (ft. jung hoseok.. again :))

genre: angst, fluff, a whoole bunch of lovey-dovey stuff n heartbreak

warnings: mental illness (specifically bpd - borderline personality disorder), mature scenes, vulgar language and mentions of suicide and depression.

word count: 1.8k

TROISIÉME

past.

SOLACE is immediately engrossed in the booming notability of Busan. Hoseok greeted her at the airport; after a long four months of convincing his dad to hire her as an intern and getting all her international information prepared and ready to go, she was finally ready for an actual departure. And it honestly was a smooth one. Her stepmother didn't really dwell too much on it, and for that she was thankful (she even agreed to send her hair products to Korea — surprisingly).

She'd miss her late father, though, so she visited his tombstone before she left with a tearful goodbye. But besides that, this was like a weight removed from her shoulders. As soon as she exited the plane, she just felt carefree; like this is what life had in store for her in the first place. Being successful doing what she loved, without the overbearing baggage corrupted companies had to throw on her. It was breathtaking.

And Hoseok was such a huge help. She knew it might've took even longer for her to get here, but Hoseok helped speed up the process for her. She was forever grateful to him for that, especially since he really didn't need to. He was just undeservingly kind to her, and she wouldn't let his kindness go forgotten. They had gotten many chances to get to know each other further over these past four months too; Hoseok wouldn't allow himself to not have further knowledge on the girl he was helping. And he enjoyed their friendship they had so far, as did she.

Solace wiped the sleep from her eyes as she reached to get her bags from baggage claim, quickly moving to the entrance to wait for Hoseok. She people-watched for a few moments waiting his arrival, there were just so many people around her to look at, and they damn sure were looking at her.

They all varied, of course — some only sacrificed a small glance and continued on their merry way, and others completely stopped and stared as if seeing someone like her was the most strange thing. And Solace decided she had one of two options to choose from when that occurred: shyly look away and continue minding her business, or look right back. Granted, she usually chose the latter. But after a few minutes of waiting and having people peer curiously at her, Hoseok arrives, as he promised.

He exited his nicely sized luxury car gracefully, removing his black sunglasses and placing a bright smile on his face to greet solace, with her mirroring his expression. She was surprised, when she saw him; she somehow expected a designated driver of some sort to greet her instead, but she was grateful for the warm welcome by Hoseok himself.

She walked up to meet him, waving and dragging her luggage behind her simultaneously. "Hi!"

She bowed her head slightly, when she was close enough, but he hugged her unexpectedly, eschewing any type of etiquette she thought she was fluent in, causing her eyes to grow wide.

"Solace, hi! Was the flight okay? Did you sleep? You probably slept. You're still tired though, aren't you? I know I was. Here, take this." He places a black face mask into her hands, watching as she presses it over her face.

"Oh, let me get those." He reached down to grab her things from her hands before she had a moment to blink. When he came back up, he smiled again, "Come on. you can tell me everything in the car."

The door was already open for her, so she slid in the passenger seat, still recovering from the rush of questions she was bombarded with moments prior. Her seatbelt is slid over her body as Hoseok hops in the car, smiling again. She did so sheepishly, trying to recall all the questions asked, and answered as she remembered.

"Um, the flight was fine, I slept of course and yes, I am still tired — is it that obvious?" The words she spoke felt odd on her tongue but she was sure they would end up feeling familiar soon enough; she knew she'd be here for a while, so she'd better get used to it.

"A little. But it's okay, jet lag is an asshole," Hoseok responded, putting his car in reverse and skillfully sliding out into the main streets away from the airport.

And it was then Solace got to really take in his being. Because there he was: sitting casually in a pressed light olive short sleeved shirt and beige khaki shorts, glasses pushed up his forehead. His hair was neatly cut with a nice undercut and his cologne was placed perfectly on his body; as it was noticeable, but not overbearing. He looked so much more different than the nervous foreigner she first met in Los Angeles. She talked to him via facetime and phone call often, but it was nothing like seeing him in person. She realized that she missed him. He was one of her only friends.

"But I'm so glad you're here! You seemed really eager to leave from L.A and sort of venture out, so I'm really happy you get to finally do what you want, you know?"

He looked at her before looking back at the busy road, "It took a minute for my dad to come around, but he knew he needed the employment. This new aquarium is getting busy quickly, and he needs to tie it down before things get out of hand, but they never do, so don't worry." Solace nods.

"I know, Hobi, I'm excited too. Nervous as well, I won't lie. It's just so . . . new. I've never even really been out of the states, so I already know the culture shock is gonna be . . . shocking." She didn't feel like racking her brain for a better word and cringed at her laziness. "I still need to work on writing Hangul too, it's been a while."

Hoseok scratched his chin while his arm rested near the window, nodding.

"Yeah, most likely. You still sound pretty fluent though, so that's good. But since we're on the topic, I'll give you some tips since you'll be here for a while: sleep as soon as you get home. Don't even worry about unpacking, just rest. You'll value sleep more than basically anything else, other than eating. Jet lag and getting used to Korean time isn't easy, so I suggest you tackle that first. Then I suggest looking for a second job while you intern for my dad as well.” Hoseok said sheepishly. Solace looked at him questionably.

“..He has a pretty long program before he deems someone trustworthy. Especially for the position you're aiming for," Hoseok finally bites out.

What she came there for was to be what she was in the states: one of the veterinarians in the aquarium, specifically monitoring the smaller types of sea life. She'd have to attempt to go for the veterinary technician here though, since the company already had an array of veterinarians, but a technician was almost always available. Help was always needed. There was always room for more veterinarians though, so if she did her best working here, there was the chance of being promoted. And she was sure she'd do her very best.

"I said rest, but you also need food. Don't forget that." He laughed some, making a turn, "please don't. You'll feel really bad and unmotivated, which is never good."

She nodded at his words and was appreciative of him even caring. She really wasn't used to the over abundance of kindness she was receiving.

"I will Hobi. I promise."

They spent the remainder of the car ride to her new home talking about experiences they both encountered in the months they were away from each other, with small moments of comforting silence as Solace got the chance to peer at the life surrounding her outside his windows. There was just something about this city that made it already feel like home. But whether it was her esteemed zeal, or child-like thirst for adventure, she didn't know.

"Oh, you'll be meeting the landlord I mentioned today too. He'll show you around your apartment while I'm gone. he's really nice, around our age. I've known him for about 7 or so years, and I trust him. His name is Park Jimin. You'll be fine there, I promise. And the beach near the property is beautiful," Hoseok exaggerates.

Solace snapped back from her people watching to answer him, "Yeah, of course. I really hope he's as nice as you say too, unnecessarily rude people kind of make me anxious."

She cringes, because how childish and sensitive could she be, "but I'm sure I'll be fine."

She kept her gaze on her window to avoid his face, expecting an ignoble expression at her admitted sensitivity and diminutive unprofessionalism. She wrung her hands together in disclosed embarrassment, sighing as she rolled down her window some, feeling the cool air wisp past her cheeks. Her hair had grown some in these months that passed, deep conditioning was everyone's friend. The curls that were just above her shoulders now sat comfortably near her collarbone.

It was midday now; with spring in full swing. The air was cool and inviting, the sky was full of clouds and bright blue. The sun felt warm and joyful, and people seemed happier. Spring was solace's favorite, as the season never ceased to amaze her. It even lifted her own spirits, she could never be surrounded by the wonders of spring and not stretch her cheeks into a smile.

And to her amazement, Hoseok responded casually. "Don't worry, Solace. Jimin wouldn't hurt a fly. You're in good hands, I wouldn't have asked him if you weren't."

She just decided to let his words put her at ease as she contemplated on what more was to come. It was scary; but so enlightening. She was excited for the possibilities she could earn but also terrified at the reactions she might get from others, including Jimin and Hoseok's father. It made her almost want to turn away, a foreign veterinarian in Korea? It was such an unusual taboo, and she'd have to train herself to fight it. She could be whatever she wanted, however she wanted. Right?

Busan seemed like it had much to throw her way. . . and she only hoped she was ready for it.

#spoiler alert: she was not ready for it.#hehe i hoped u enjoyed this one #jimin angst #jimin fic #jimin #jimin ambw #hoseok fic #hoseok #hoseok ambw #bts #bts fic #bts ambw #kpop fanfiction #kpop poc

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