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gingerrevs · 1 year

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Onwards & Upwards

It’s been a whole year since we lost my lovely mum. In one sense it seems like no time has passed and in another it feels like much, much longer.

After she passed away, I received various well intended ‘hope you’re doing ok’ messages which of course is very kind of everyone. But no, I’m not ok, my mum’s just f**king died! And all I could really reply other than the ‘thank you, I miss her so much’ was that it was just weird. Weird that one of the main constants in my life was now gone forever. Weird that I couldn’t just pick up the phone and talk to her ever again. And weird that I had just gone through a hugely traumatic thing but yet the world just keeps on turning.

For the last 12 months my mum’s final months have gone round and round in my head on a loop, showing no sign of dimming. And the memories of those last few days before she passed away in particular being vicious mental sledgehammers appearing from out of nowhere. As we come to the year anniversary of her death, I decided that perhaps putting into writing what happened may be a way of helping process it all. And whilst it might seem somewhat self-indulgent or attention seeking, if I’m going to spend time putting all this in words then why not give people the opportunity to read it. The sceptics would argue that ruminating on the past could be somewhat detrimental, but then the sceptics probably aren’t going to read this! The following is pretty raw, and I appreciate may be a bit much to take in. But if you do make it to the end, thank you.

Some background. Mum first had cancer in 2018 and whilst somewhat overwhelming for us all (not to mention for mum!) between one major operation, chemotherapy & radiotherapy mum made it through and on we went.

November 2021 it came back. Sadly, there’s always a chance it will return and whilst mum took it like a champ the rest of us fell apart somewhat. As much hope as I wanted to have, could mum really beat it a second time around? And cancer aside, this all coincided with the descent of the Omicron COVID variant which just made things that much more stressful to deal with. Initially things were promising, a treatment plan was sorted and medication administered. And then unfortunately things quite rapidly went sour.

Like all cancer treatment, what mum was receiving was pretty brutal and had made her bones really weak. Early March 2022 in the middle of the night mum managed to break her arm severely and she was whisked away in an ambulance. That same day all Cornish hospitals went into a lockdown due to severely high COVID rates across the county, so no one was allowed in the ambulance with her, nor wait with her at A&E. I made various phone calls to the hospital to try and figure out what was going on – no straight answers other than she hadn’t been admitted yet and the best thing was to just stay put.

Ignoring that, I drove the two hours to the city where mum was in hospital. In that two hours still no news other than mum had been triaged and they were trying to decide the best plan of action. Oh and no I wasn’t allowed to be with her so I sat in my car in a supermarket car park nearby ringing every 45 mins or so for updates. I was finally told she’d be admitted so I then did a round trip to where she lived to sort out an overnight bag and headed back to the hospital. By this point mum had been in an ambulance for about 9 hours. The hospital’s A&E was so full there was no bed for her to go into. On arriving at the hospital, I was told a nurse would come and meet me to get mum’s bag as I couldn’t go in, I asked the lovely chap if mum was still in an ambulance, she was, and was there no way I could just see her for a little bit? His advice was to walk around to the ambulance bay and see if I could find her. It happened to be around the corner from the main entrance, so I walked over and what I saw took my breath away. About 20 ambulances all lined up. 20 ambulances with patients in. 20 ambulances who couldn’t discharge their patients because there was nowhere for them to go. It was absolutely bonkers. You hear about it on the news but seeing it first hand was completely shocking. I walked about for a bit, torn between not wanting to disturbing the paramedics and desperately wanting to see my mum. In the end I came across two paramedics having a coffee so decided they wouldn’t mind me asking. My initial attempt at trying to explain what I was doing just resulted in me bursting into tears but eventually I managed to convey what I was after, and they very kindly found out which ambulance mum was in and led me to her. I was so glad to see her, and she seemed pretty happy to see me! Although worried that there was no food at home for me to eat, typical mum! I stayed for about 20 minutes making sure there was nothing else I could do at the time for mum and reassured her the hospital staff had my number to keep me as updated as possible. And off I went, but not before the paramedic looking after mum ‘cheerfully’ told me not to get in a car crash on my way home because all the ambulances in Cornwall were currently there so no one would be able to come and save me. Mum finally got admitted at around 8.30 that evening so about 16 hours in an ambulance overall. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of all those ambulances lined up.

Mum ended up in hospital for two weeks. Various plans put together (to operate on mum’s arm, or leave it?) and then changed last minute. Lots of phone calls and everything done at a distance because absolutely no visitors due to COVID. Then the irony being that mum caught COVID whilst in hospital, after we’d all been so bloody careful. Thankfully she was asymptomatic and not affected at all thank goodness.

F**king COVID. A slight tangent here. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult it was for people who lost loved ones and couldn’t be there at the end because of strict lockdown rules & protocols. I get so f**king angry that COVID meant in the last two years of mum’s life we missed out on so much time together. That she missed out on seeing her amazing grandchildren because they didn’t live in the same country. So. F**king. Angry. And there’ll be so many other people out there who had to experience the same thing. All the while our inept suited turds of a government enjoyed themselves to no end because they just decided they were above the law. Dickheads.

Anyway, mum came out of hospital just before Mother’s Day and knowing she’d insist on there not being a fuss I decided to drive down and surprise her. She was delighted, and hindsight – I’m so f**king glad I did. Not long after that was mum’s 70th birthday, by that point the broken arm & the treatment meant things were really taking their toll so again no fuss, but we asked close friends & family to send video messages wishing mum a happy birthday which a friend of Dan’s then edited together beautifully. Mum loved it.

Mum had support workers going in twice a day and there was various friends & family on hand too, then after mum’s birthday I was back for the Easter Weekend arriving Thursday afternoon. En route I’d stopped to pick up mum’s prescription where they noted concern at the amount of oral morphine mum was getting through and asked if we could sort a review for next week. I reminded them she had a broken arm as well as cancer but that of course we’d get something sorted for after the Bank Holiday weekend and headed to mums. I was gone for maybe 5 days and the change was somewhat significant. I feel like an idiot now for not seeing it, but she was clearly so very poorly. Not much sleep that Thursday night as I wanted to be on hand in case something happened. I was dozing on the sofa when mum’s support worker arrived (they were absolutely sensational and deserve the earth!), and then before she left, the support worker pulled me aside and said, ‘Your mum can’t stay at home anymore, she really does need round the clock care, and she’s not set up here for that’. She was 100% right of course but what the f**k do I do now? Pete (mum’s husband) was with mum, so I popped over to see one of Mum’s friends (Kate) to ask for advice. She agreed mum needed to be admitted somewhere and from hers I rang the support workers to ask what I should do. ‘Ring 999, explain the situation. Paramedics should be able to come, assess your mum and get her into a community hospital. Then you can make a plan from there’.

That all sounds straightforward enough, but mum was as stubborn as a mule and never liked a fuss. What if she refused to go? I drove home and just took the bull by the horns. Mum didn’t even put up a fight, which just shows how bad things were, and agreed she needed to go somewhere. I rang 999 and went through the motions. A while later the paramedics showed up and did a brilliant job, they agreed mum needed to go somewhere and gave a very thorough assessment which then helped mum get into a community hospital in North Cornwall (the only place with a spare bed). It was Good Friday, a Bank Holiday, of course so this meant everything took that much longer. Not that I’m moaning, it was all to help mum but from the conversation with the support worker to mum being taken off in the ambulance was about 9 hours. I was exhausted, and so sad to see mum go off again because Cornish hospitals were still on lockdown so I couldn’t go with her. Or visit. I feel so sad knowing that that was the last time she was at home. A shout out here to my friend Annie, who is a GP, that gave me a lot of advice that day and reassured me I was doing the right thing. Thank you, in these instances it's so hard to know if what you're doing is for the best.

Over the next week there were multiple phone calls, between me & the hospital, me and family members, me & mum trying to keep on top of it all with the hope of getting mum into a hospital closer to where she lived. The community hospital where mum was, wasn’t the same one as she went to for her cancer treatment. She had an important oncology appointment coming up and I was doing my best to make sure that one way or another that appointment was kept so there would be an update on her treatment. The nurses and clerical staff were brilliant and assured me they were communicating constantly with mum’s oncology team, and I wasn’t to worry.

Friday 22nd April 2022. In the morning I made yet another call just for an update on mum and that they were still aware of the oncology appointments she had the following week. Same day, in the afternoon, I got a phone call.

Doctor: ‘Hello is that Lucy, Maggie’s daughter?’

Me: ‘Yes that’s me, how can I help?’

Doctor: ‘I understand you’re worried about your mum making her oncology appointments next week?’

Me: ‘Yes, I know mum’s been worried about them so just want to make sure everything’s being done to make them happen one way or another’

Doctor: ‘Ok. Well I’m ringing to let you know that those appointments no longer matter, it's not going to make any difference. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

And that’s how I was told my lovely, lovely mum wasn’t going to make it.

Me: ‘Yes, yes I understand’.

Doctor: ‘We’re now looking at end of life care’.

Me: ‘Ok. Are you able to give a timeframe, and can I see her? I don’t want her to be on her own’

Doctor: ‘In these instances I use something called “Would I be surprised if?”. Would I be surprised if she passed away tonight, no but then also I wouldn’t be surprised if she lasted another month. However, it’s likely to be sooner rather than later. And yes, now she is at end of life you can be at the hospital as much as you want.

Me: ‘Ok. So, I should call my brother then? He lives in the US’.

Doctor: ‘Well actually your mum said not to worry him’ (typical mum!)

Me: ‘Well I’m going to ring him’

Doctor: ‘I would too. Do you have any questions for me?’

Me: ‘Not right now. I’ve got phone calls to make then I’m going to come and see mum.

Those appointments aren’t going to matter anymore. They're not going to make any difference. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m sure there’s no easy way to tell someone a loved one is dying but that was pretty brutal. One simple phrase that changed my world forever in less than 10 seconds. And now I had to be the person to change everyone else’s worlds and begun the job of ringing friends and family.

Dan, my brother, was the absolute priority. I didn’t want to talk to anyone else until I’d spoken to him. Earlier on I’d sent him an update that everything seemed to be in hand and that not much else would probably change as we were headed into the weekend. Boy was I wrong. ‘Conveniently’ Dan had a day off so was playing golf. With his phone switched off. Thankfully his lovely, lovely wife Denise got hold of his friend who he was with, and after a long 20 minutes Dan rang back. I kept just apologising because I knew that what I was saying was just as devastating to hear as it was to say. He said he’d be there as soon as he could. Both of us knowing that a huge amount could happen whilst he was travelling from the East Coast of the US.

And then I carried on with the phone calls to make sure everyone that needed to know did. In the midst of all of that mum rang me, I told her that the doctor had been in touch and that I was on my way down to see her. ‘Oh don’t worry about that Lucy, don’t feel like you have to come rushing down here’. Once again, typical mum, more worried about me than what she was going through. I told her that I really wanted to see her and she replied with ‘ok then, you do what’s best’.

It was an hour from Exeter, where I live, to the hospital where mum was. All the way down grateful that silly season hadn’t started in earnest, so the road wasn’t covered in ‘emmetts’ (tourists) but also on high alert in case I got THAT phone call. It was lovely to see mum, but I had to follow strict COVID protocols which meant not just a mask but gloves and a plastic apron. To this day I cannot for the life of me remember if mum ever saw me again without my mask on. I guess it doesn’t really matter but again that’s just something else that makes me feel sad.

Mum and I had a lovely chat about various things, to the point where I thought ‘f**k, does she know she’s dying? Do I have to tell her as well??’ but then she reminded me she didn’t want a funeral. Oh and that her grandmother had passed away in the same hospital.

When someone is that poorly, but you know how limited their time is, you are torn between wanting to spend as much time as possible with them but also giving them some time to rest. After a while mum kept drifting off (I probably wasn’t the most exciting of company!) so we said our goodbyes and I headed home. I made no mention that Dan was on his way, I didn’t want her to stress. Or tempt fate.

As I drove back I crossed everything that Dan would make it to England ok and that mum would live through the night to see him.

The following morning, Dan had arrived safely in England and mum had made it through the night. Phew. Dan got to Exeter around lunchtime, and we headed straight to the hospital. As we walked into Mum’s room, she just went ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ to Dan, to which he replied very casually, ‘well I just thought I’d pop over and see you’. Mum was of course, absolutely delighted. Over the next few days we fell into the routine of going down for the afternoon, reminiscing about everything with mum. Dan and his family had recently been on holiday, so mum loved seeing the photos. And me, well I had Harold.

During the first lockdown in 2020 I discovered I had a hedgehog living in my garden and mum thought it was the best thing ever and loved getting updates about him. 2021 there was no sign of him, and I remember mum sadly saying he must have moved on. Fast forward to 2022, on the Sunday evening once we were back from the hospital I was picking in washing from the garden (how the Jesus did I have the capacity to not only put a wash on but hang it out??) when I heard a load of rustling. And there was Harold!!!! I managed to get a quick video, excited about showing mum the next day but also started crying at the sad serendipity of it all. I walked back in to my flat still sobbing with Dan going ‘what are you crying about now?’. The next day mum loved the video, and it was great she could see him one more time. I appreciate it may not have been the exact same hedgehog from 2020 but where’s your sentimentality?

Those first few days Dan was there gave mum a massive lift. She was on top form, and at one point I pondered out loud to Dan that maybe I should have waited. Was I wrong to get him to rush over so quickly? We agreed that of course it was the right thing to do. But at the time you question everything.

One of the other things that mum enjoyed was seeing Dan & I together, and our various bickering (my car was too hot/my flat too cold/he’s too loud). I am very grateful that he’s a such a decent brother (although writing that risks me never hearing the end of that compliment). There’s no way I could have gone through any of that on my own. Dan loves Wine Gums, but they don’t sell them in the US, so I’d bought a load for the car journeys. On hearing this mum was quite put out that we didn’t bring the Wine Gums in with us. I said I could go and get them but then it transpired that what mum really wanted was Jelly Babies. Dan and I were incredulous, we’d never known mum to like Jelly Babies but of course we would buy her as many as she wanted. Those last few days that was the only things she ate. After she passed away, we were talking to our dad about it, and he said that when they’d first got together, she loved Jelly Babies. Well, there you go.

One of the harder things to get our heads around was that mum had made some passing comments about maybe being able to die at home. Mum had always been really clear about what would happen after she died but there was never a discussion about how she wanted to die (other than ‘if I’m plugged in to all kinds of machines just turn me off.’ Yes mum). As mentioned earlier everything deteriorated and happened very fast. Mum went from essentially being ok (with support) to needing to be in hospital and this all happened before we knew she was ‘end of life’. There was some back and forth between Dan & I, mum’s doctor, and mum. The Doctor’s perspective on it was that mum probably wouldn’t survive the ambulance journey home and that there wasn’t enough time to get everything in place that was needed. But that if that’s what mum really wanted, they could see what they could do to make it happen. Dan & I have one last conversation about it all with mum, and she conceded she’d be better off staying put. That was tough, it would be one of the last things mum wanted and it couldn’t happen.

COVID was still causing issues of course. Due to the strict rules initially only close family members were allowed to visit. Mum had some lovely friends who also really wanted to see her, but they understood the situation. Then, by some miracle, on the Monday the rules changed – anyone could come and see mum as long as it was only 2 at a time and they wore full PPE. Thank goodness. That same day, Kate (mentioned earlier) came to see mum. At the same time Dan & I were driving back to Exeter musing that mum had less energy that day.

Tuesday 26th April 2022. 1.30am(ish). My phone rings. It’s the hospital, ‘your mum’s breathing has changed, you should probably get down here’. They say you shouldn’t haven your favourite songs as your ringtone mine was, and still is, ‘Hammer to Fall’ by Queen. It’s very rare now I have my phone on any other setting than silent but when my ringer is on, I still get a jolt of panic thanks to that early morning call.

I woke Dan up, we got changed and headed down to the hospital as quickly as possible. All the while not knowing what we may find when we get there. It was about 3am when we arrived, on the way down Dan had rung Pete (mum’s husband). He didn’t answer so we texted his son Steve who lived nearby. Pete didn’t want to come to the hospital, but Steve would meet us there.

Mum was still alive when we got there as we quietly put on all the PPE for the millionth time and made our way through the semi-dark eerily quiet hospital. And for the next few hours Dan & I said a whole host of things to mum (who was asleep, unconscious?). Mainly how she didn’t have to worry about us anymore, she could go, and we loved her very much. This was interspersed with Dan & Steve having the most random conversations ever. It was all very surreal.

As the sun came up Steve had to leave to go to work and Dan and I passed out for a bit. He has a picture of me asleep curled up on two chairs in full PPE. Then the support staff kindly bought me coffee and toast and we sat there still talking to mum.

Then all of a sudden, she woke up. ‘What are you doing here?’ I explained the overnight staff were worried about her breathing, so we thought we’d pop down. Steve was here too, did you hear us chatting? No? Probably for the best as him and Dan were talking about all sorts at a bizarre time of the day.

Other friends and family wanted to come and see mum that day, so on checking mum was ok with it as well as the hospital staff, I liaised with them about coming down. Pete's daughter & son-in-law and mum's friend Delma. It was one of those bizarre scenarios where it was great to see them but terrible in such sad circumstances. Mum was delighted to see them all and have a chat.

During the afternoon Dan & I agreed we wouldn’t go anywhere now just in case. So that evening we took turns to go and get something to eat, whilst the other sat with mum. She and I chatted about random things. Including ‘the lady with the curtain trousers’. When I was about 14 mum & I went to Tesco’s to do the shopping and as we walked in, we clocked a woman wearing the most ridiculous pair of trousers that looked like a pair of curtains. They made us both crack up, and as we made our way around the shop everytime we saw her we’d burst out laughing again. Mum had a good chuckle at that and said something along the lines of ‘always remember the good’. That’s all you can do.

The hospital were fine with us staying the night but they weren’t set up with extra beds for family members etc. so they kindly bought us blankets and pillows to do the best we could. I can only sleep if I’m horizontal, so I piled up a load of blankets to sleep on the floor at the end of mum’s bed. Dan tried to get as comfy as possible in the chairs.

In the room next to mum’s was a lady with dementia (I’m assuming) who was very scared and throwing everything around her room and banging her chair up and down. The nurses were doing their best to calm her down but in the midst of all of that mum asked what was going on and Dan & I explained what was happening but that she was safe. That may have been the last thing mum ever said, once again worrying about everyone else before herself.

Non-surprisingly, sleeping on a hospital floor was not particularly brilliant. Especially as every couple of hours they had to do checks on mum, and we weren’t allowed to be in the room when those happened so had to get up and sit in the day room. At around 4am Dan & I agreed that if we did this every night, we’d be no use to anyone so first thing in the morning we’d try and find somewhere really close to the hospital to stay so we could get a bit of rest. Bearing in mind by this point that other than a few short bursts of sleep we’d been awake for more than 24 hours. A well intentioned night-time porter started listing off all the places we could stay whilst I was awkwardly thanking him but also making it clear (by slowly lying down on my hospital floor blanket bed) that I’d quite like to just go back to sleep now.

7am Wednesday 27th April 2022. As the hospital sprung back into life, I said I’d drive back to Exeter as fast as I could to grab stuff Dan & I would need to stay somewhere for a few days (bearing in mind we had barely bought anything with us when we left the day before), medication for both of us being the most important thing. My theory being the sooner I left the sooner I’d be back. I was about 20 miles from Exeter when Dan rang. ‘You need to get back here now, the Doctors reckon she’ll pass this morning’. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. What a stupid thing, why did I leave?? I came off at the next junction and headed south again as quickly as I could. Although I know for sure I broke some speed limits that morning. I got back to the hospital at about 9am ran from my car to the ward where mum was and started grappling at the roll of plastic aprons to put on. Fucking PPE. Bloody COVID. The nurses seeing the state I was in just said ‘don’t worry just go to your mum’. Whilst I’d been gone, they’d moved mum to a different room and put a picture of a butterfly outside the door so everyone was aware of the situation. I ran in. Mum was still alive but by this point I couldn’t breathe at all so Dan had to calm me down, so I didn’t hyperventilate. The sheer mixture or panic and relief was extraordinary but I was glad I made it back before anything happened.

We then sat and just talked to mum again. She was unconscious but we rattled through a whole load of topics, ranging from the view from her new room and the trees we could see to the fact that I was annoyed that Dan managed to get a sausage & bacon bap but by the time I went to buy some breakfast they’d run out of sausages. Some point late morning I decided to play her her birthday video again so she could hear all those messages of love one last time.

I’d never seen someone die before. It is truly horrible to watch someone you love be in so much pain, wanting it to be over for them but also not wanting them to go. This was nothing like what you see on the TV or in movies. No machines, just mum in bed occasionally being checked in on by nurses making sure she was getting enough pain medication. Oh, and lovely porters coming in and asking if we wanted a hot drink….and biscuits! Apparently, biscuits are cracked out in the final hours, although they were rich teas. Not that I’m ungrateful but when your mum is dying that does seem more like a hobnob or milk chocolate digestive occasion. Months later when the Queen died my brother texted ‘Do you reckon they got nice biscuits?’.

The death rattle is the worse though. These massive excruciating sounding deep breaths that suddenly stop and you wonder, is this it?? And this they start all over again.

Around 1pm suddenly they did stop. And didn’t seem to start again. I said to Dan that I thought this might be it and went to get the nurse. She came in and told us to say all of our favourite things about mum which we did whilst I held one of her hands (the other still being in a sling from the broken arm). And then the nurse said, ‘ok, she’s gone. I always ask family to say their favourite things at the very end as the hearing is the last thing to go so it makes sure the last things they hear are good things’. Throughout all of this it was so incredibly quiet, it was almost as if everyone on the ward knew it was the end. Even the lady with dementia was quiet, no shouting or throwing things around.

And that was it. Mum was gone. At just 70 years old. But at least she wasn’t in pain anymore. The nurse said we could stay with her as long as we wanted and there was no rush for us to leave.

We sat for a while, still talking to mum just in case but then agreed that we’d go and make all the various phone calls whilst the hospital staff did what they needed to do with mum.

Again, making those various phone calls was horrible but at least people were expecting them. But that probably doesn’t make things any easier. I was sat on a bench in the hospital garden when this little brown bird just came and hopped around by my feet for a bit. I’m not religious at all, but mum always loved birds so the hysterically tired and emotional part of me did wonder if that might be mum’s spirit saying goodbye before she flew off forever.

Back inside we said our final goodbyes to mum and then tackled the first part of admin that has to be dealt with when someone dies. The receptionist was explaining to us about the process & paperwork associated with getting mum from the hospital to the undertakers. All the while the lady with dementia was back, and in full swing. She’d gotten hold of a tea towel and was stood behind the receptionist flicking it at us whilst shouting ‘GET OUT GET OUT’. Don’t worry love, we’ll be on our way soon.

Dan & I then drove back to Exeter trying to get our head around the most horrific 48 hours. That evening we toasted mum with prosecco and strapped ourselves into the inevitable emotional rollercoaster that would have no end.

If you’ve made it as far as here, well done. I appreciate it was a lot to take in. My intention was to tell the story of mum’s final months and also highlight just exactly what they entailed. When someone dies people focus on the impact that person being dead has on those that loved them. What they might not realise is the lead up to the death is just as traumatising and horrific to deal with than the death itself. Selfishly, I also wanted to write this just so people realised what Dan & I had to go through. Not for anyone to feel sorry for us but just so they understand what a momentous thing it was, and that even though it’s been a whole year we’re still reeling. I know there'll be people out there who had to go through much much worse but that doesn't make our story any less valid. I don’t think you ever get over something like this, you learn to live with the pain and continue on making sure you do everything you can to honour that person’s memory.

Maggie Moyle Amazing mum, wife & 'Gi Gi' (grandmother). 05/04/52 - 27/04/22

Onwards and upwards.

9 notes · View notes

shorkbrian · 3 years

Note

I swear I ain’t in it for the money, but I can’t stop thinking about sugar daddy shoto. Maybe he sweeps a cute little college kid or barista of their feet, just something fun and casual. But this man starts falling harder, needing a way to lock them down to him. Money isn’t quite cutting it anymore, so he decides fucking a baby into her would do the trick. Shoto would push her down into the mattress, large frame twisting her into a sweet mating press. This way they could stay together forever and Shoto would have absolutely no problem providing for his sweet family <3

but fr tho I feel like Shouto is NOT the type for kids.

Mans will tolerate them when they babble or wave at him, but he very actively Does Not Want them.

Always uses condoms, and even though he’ll threaten not to, it’s never a legit thought in his mind to cum inside. Shouto doesn’t want to be a dad.

-----

You’ll be sittin on a park bench, fading sunset dark and pretty in front of you yet all you can do is cry. There’s not really any people around so it’s not like you’re bothering anyone - you hadn’t wanted to cry in your shabby apartment (half the cause of your worries) just in case you received a noise complaint.

“Are you alright?”

A somber, smooth voice is heard. You’re swiping at your tears quickly as you look up, trying to laugh off your state of distress. “Oh, haha, yeah I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” It’s hard to smile with your puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

The man in front of you frowns, hands in his coat pockets, scarf draped around his neck. “You don’t look fine. Mind if I sit?”

He’s already claiming the spot next to you on the bench before you can say a word, turning to you with a passive expression. “Why are you crying?”

And that’s all it takes to have you breaking down all over again, tears streaming down your face. Just one person offering to listen to the heavy burden you have to bear.

‘’M sor-sorry...” You sob, wiping at your eyes with frigid fingers, successful in doing nothing more but smearing tears around your face.

“Here.” The man’s taking off his scarf, gloved hands offering it you.

“I ca-can’t use your sc-scarf sir.” But he’s insistent, pressing it into your hands up by your face.

“I’ll just get another one. Keep it, you’re in need of it more than I am.”

The kindness makes another fresh bout of tears roll down your cheeks, but this time you're able to dab them away with soft fabric as you sniffle.

It takes a moment for you to calm yourself. When you do, you can finally engage in conversation with the man.

You tell him about your job hours getting cut, how you’ve been turned down or ignored by every single place you’ve applied at for a second job. How you’re barely affording to wash your clothes - you have to hang them or drape them across things in your apartment because you don’t have the money to pay for a dryer cycle.

And to top it all off, you’re still short on rent, despite how you scrimped and saved and even forced yourself not to buy groceries this week - you’ve gone hungry for the past three days.

“You haven’t eaten?”

You glance up at the man and his incredulous expression, shaking your head. “I’ve been trying to save money, I thought I could afford my rent if-”

“What kind of food do you like?” The man is pulling out his phone, swiping and tapping immediately.

“Thank you, but I’m not-” looking for charity is what you want to say. Plus, you shouldn’t accept favors from strange men.

But the handsome man is waving you silent. “I’m cold, plus I’d like to grab a bite to eat before I head home. I don’t like eating alone though, you’d honestly be doing me a favor.”

You take a moment to process. Is he telling the truth? He sounds like an honest guy.

“Seems like the only place open around here is “Joe’s 24 hour Diner”.... You mind burgers?”

So that's how you end up in a booth opposite the man (”Shouto” he had told you as you both headed to the diner), munching away at warm food. It tastes so good, you hardly have time to worry about the man watching you as he eats.

You’d been shocked at his looks the moment you’d seen him in the light of the diner. Pretty two-toned hair, different colored eyes, perfect skin, expensive clothes. Why was he even talking to you? It’s obvious the two of you led very different lives.

“How does everything taste?”

“Delicious.” Is your response, and Shouto seems pleased, nodding before taking another bite of his meal.

Maybe it’s stupid... but you feel weirdly safe with this man. He doesn’t seem to bear any ill-intent towards you, nor has he made any comments about your body or let his hands or eyes stray. He seems like a gentleman.

Conversation flows easily between the two of you, even sharing a few chuckles at times. He’s some fancy rich businessman, you learn, and you share about your own life, laughing at the comparisons. Shouto can’t fathom growing up in a house with less than five bedrooms and a personal servant.

He asks for your number, and you’re hesitant in giving it - he surely can’t be interested in you? But he seems so sincere, it’s hard to say no.

When the two of you part ways, Shouto gives you a wave, “Hope to see you again soon, and under better circumstances.”

“You too! And sorry for being such a mess and stopping your walk-”

Shouto shrugs, cheeks beginning to pink from the cold air as you two stand outside the diner. “You needed help. I like to assist.”

-----

The next morning you wake to find an atrociously large sum deposited in your Venmo account by none other than a Shouto Todoroki.

Immediately, you’re calling him. “It’s too much, we just met. How can you give away that much money to some low-life?”

You hear him sigh on the other end of the phone. “You’re obviously struggling. I was wondering what your hours are this week, perhaps we could talk about this over dinner? Or lunch, if that fits better with your schedule. I’m flexible.”

It’s a few days later, days spent questioning yourself, questioning his intentions, before you see him again, both of you deciding to meet for lunch to further discuss... whatever had just happened.

“Was what I gave you adequate to cover your rent?” Are the first words out of Shouto’s mouth after you greet each other.

“Yeah, more than enough-” You squirm. “But I need to ask.... why?”

“Why?”

“Why me.”

“Oh.” Shouto’s expression clears. “That’s easy. I told you a few days ago - I like to assist. I’m quite lonely, and it feels nice to use my money on someone other than myself. I think providing for someone brings me... I wouldn’t quite say joy, but... contentment.”

You contemplate his answer for a moment.

“Well... you saved me with my rent, I don’t really know how to thank you.”

The man leans forward. “Well.... I know it might be a bit sudden, but how would you feel accepting me as a.... benefactor of sorts?”

“You mean like a sugar daddy?” Is your immediate, blurted response. You want to slap yourself for speaking before you have the chance to think about your words, but luckily Shouto just lets out a light laugh.

“If you’d like to call it that. I’m willing to provide financial assistance for you, in exchange for companionship, if you’re willing to give it.”

Your face heats up as you drop your eyes, fidgeting nervously in your seat. “I don’t feel comfortable with a... a sexual relationshi-”

“That’s perfectly acceptable.” Shouto cuts you off before you can continue. “I wasn’t trying to insinuate a contract of that nature. I’m thinking more along the lines of accompanying me at meals, sharing experiences with me, providing company and friendship to a lonely man. If it seems that we’d like to progress further than that after we get to know each other, well, that will be addressed then. For now-” Shouto meets your eye, dipping his head a smidgeon so he can look at you directly. “All I ask for is a simple, non-intimate bond between two people.”

This is crazy.

And yet you accept.

The situation may be wild, and completely absurd, but you’d be a fool not to say yes.

Shouto is charming and handsome, respectful, courteous - you could go on and on about his positive qualities. He just seems like a sad, lonesome man swallowed by work and responsibilities, too stressed and busy to put the effort into making friends the conventional way.

-----

Months pass by.

You’re eating at every meal, sated and never going hungry. You’re able to move into a new place, one that doesn’t smell like cigarettes and sits right next to a railroad.

Clothes aren’t a worry anymore, you have your own washer and dryer in your new apartment (Shouto offered to buy you a house, or a penthouse at the least, but you couldn’t justify it to yourself). You’re able to afford new things, and pretty dresses, shoes that are comfortable and fashionable and that fit.

You no longer have to wear clothes down until they have holes in them. You’re able to go to the doctor’s when you feel sick, able to pay for health insurance.

Life is good.

Shouto is a personable man, serious, but he can be rather funny and even crude at times.

The doubt and thoughts of “Why is he doing this for me?” and “I’m not good enough for this.” plague you, but Shouto always seems to catch on, reassuring you that you’re exactly what he needs - a friend.

And you’re more than happy to be that.

You think sometimes, that even if he wasn’t paying you, you’d still like to be friends with Shouto Todoroki.

Until he starts acting weird.

“You should just stay at my place. I have more than enough room,, it’d be easier for both our schedules. We’d get to see each other more often.”

“Uhm...” You don’t really know what to say. You like your freedom, and having your own place where you can walk around in your (expensive) underwear without being bothered.

“I think it’d be nice, don’t you? We could have breakfast every morning, you wouldn’t have to worry about traveling to and fro, we could spend more time together. We don’t see each other nearly enough.”

He’s pushing, insistent. How are you supposed to tell him no? He’s paying for your entire life. Plus, it wouldn’t be that bad to actually live with him. Shouto’s an amicable man.

So you move in.

“I bought you a few things, they’re on your bed.”

Shouto’s striding into the kitchen where you’re making coffee, buttoning up his shirt as he comes closer. You’ve found that the man likes to sleep in nothing but boxers, shrieking and flushing an embarrassing shade the first time he’d come to wake you up with a sweet “welcome” breakfast in bed.

It’s taken a while to adjust, but you finally feel that you’re fully settled in.

“Oh, you really don’t ha-”

“I wanted to. I went through your closet - your clothes are nice, but your underwear seemed to be lacking.” He’s so matter-of-fact.

All you can do is stare at the back of his head.

“Could you pass me a spoon please?”

-----

Shouto had splurged on expensive, fancy lingerie.

At least eight different sets were laid out on your bed. It was overwhelming. It also felt.... a bit intrusive? They were all in your size, in a complementary color for your skin tone.

Weird.

Not as weird as the onset of Shouto’s casual touches.

You’d be reading, or drinking tea and watching cars race by on the street so far below, and Shouto would come up behind you, caress your sides before intertwining his fingers with yours on one hand. He did it as if it was a normal thing, but it felt anything but normal.

Or you’d be on the couch together, and Shouto would shuffle closer until his large body was pressed to yours, almost curled around you. The faux-cuddling was a bit more off putting. How do you tell him no?

The touches became more and more intimate, Shouto’s gifts more and more frequent until you weren’t even spending a penny, the man taking care of everything.

The arrangement was beginning to make you uncomfortable.

Shouto’s bi-colored eyes seemed to always be on you, tracing the shape of your body, watching you move, or breath, or sit. It was distracting, and you felt bad for feeling this way towards the man who’d pulled you out of poverty, but it was so unnerving.

He seemed to notice.

“You’ve been so stressed these past few days. Is something wrong?” Shouto’s rubbing a hand into your shoulder, hovering over you at the dinner table.

“No?” Is all you can manage, wiping your hands on your napkin as you finish your food.

Shouto frowns. With a sigh, his hand drops from your shoulder and the man leaves your side, heads toward the kitchen.

You clear your plate from the table, following after him so you can wash it and put it in the dishwasher before you head off to get ready for bed.

But Shouto is rummaging in a cupboard, pulling down two wine glasses to accompany the bottle of wine that’s standing proud on the island. It’s your favorite, a sweet wine that Shouto knows you like, always brings it out when he decides to drink whisky or bourbon after dinner.

He pops the cork and pours you a glass while you finish with your dishes, handing you the glass when you turn away from the sink, pressing it into your hands. “Let’s relax a little bit, it’ll be good for both of us.”

You’re fine with that, knowing that a little wine won’t hurt you, especially when it’s of such fine quality. You’d never dreamed that you’d be able to taste such richness in your lifetime, spend frivolous amounts of money on wine and fine eateries. Yet here you are.

Shouto pours himself a glass, barely a sip filling the bottom. The man raises it to his lips and takes a swig, grimacing a bit in his flat, unexpressive way. You giggle a little.

“Too sweet?’

The man nods, setting the glass back down. “I’m not entirely sure how you can stand to stomach it. But if it makes you happy-” He shrugs, before pulling on of the bar-stools out from under the island so he can sit facing you, long legs stretching out before him.

You look at him, and he looks at you, and then you take another sip of wine to avoid the awkwardness.

“You’re distancing yourself from me.”

The accusation is quiet, Shouto’s eyes focused on your fingers wrapped around the stem of the glass.

He’s always been straightforward with his words. “Is there a reason you keep drawing away?”

The wine disappears from your glass, sliding down your throat and settling in your stomach. You fill your glass again before speaking, struggling to find the right words without upsetting your... benefactor.

“Well, Shouto... I don’t really know how to...” You trail off, hoping Shouto will say something, change the subject, say it’s alright and move on to something else.

But the man stays silent, eyes appraising you.

Taking a deep breath, and another gulp of sweetness, you try again.

“Sometimes the closeness... like, physical closeness? Makes me, well, uncomfortable.”

Hopefully, that would satisfy his curiosity for now. That wasn’t the only reason you’d been avoiding Shouto seeming distant, but you didn’t think sharing the others would result in anything good.

Said man accepted your response, dropping his eyes to his lap as he mulled it over. More wine was consumed, glass re-filled. You felt nervous.

“You’re saying that my touch isn’t something you’d prefer.”

Biting your lip, you soften at his confused expression, at the hint of sadness swimming behind his eyes. “Kind of. I don’t mind you Shouto, you’re really kind, and you’re good company, and a wonderful friend. I just don’t think the.... the intimacy is for me.”

Shouto raises his head, stares at you with those pretty eyes, lips parted as he comes to terms with your words.

“It sounds like you don’t trust me. I would never hurt you, you know this.”

You scramble to assure him. “I do! I do trust you, and I know you wouldn’t.” (at least you hoped) “But I guess I just... Coming into this agreement I wasn’t ready for that type of... thing. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

The man rises, shakes his head as he steps closer to you. “Don’t worry, I remember our first conversation about that aspect. I see that for you, that type of relationship would only begin after you really cared for the other person, trusted and wanted to see them happy, am I correct?”

“Oh, Shouto-” You rush. “No, I care for you, and I trust you, and of course I want to see you happy. I think it’s just, y’know, my last relationship like that went really bad, and it sucked. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Shouto nods, understanding. “I see. You don’t have to worry about any of that with me then.”

A smile crosses your face, and you feel relived that he accepted your rejection with grace and understanding instead of violence or anger. “Thank you, it means a lot to me.”

The mood of the room shifted, from tense and uncomfortable, to easy and light, and you poured another glass of wine, laughing a little at how worried you were about the conversation with Shouto, only for it all to turn out fine.

“I’m going to go drink some of the liquor that’s kept in my room. I could mix a few drinks for you to try, you might like how sweet they are. I know hard alcohol isn’t quite your thing.”

You beam a smile, nodding your head eagerly. Before, you’d feel apprehensive about going into his room with him to drink alcohol. But with the conversation the two of you just had, you knew - things would be fine.

-----

The room was spinning and you felt giddy and light. You were definitely tipsy.

“You can lay down on my bed, you’re getting wobbly on your feet.” Shouto had offered, and you’d gladly accepted, flopping down onto his comfy bedspread with a laugh at how the motion made butterflies rise in your tummy.

Shouto leaned against his dresser, swirling whiskey in his glass as he watched you, a half-smile across his face. You smiled back, before closing your eyes, a little bit tired as you realized that you might be a bit more than just tipsy.

Shouto had mixed quite a few drinks for you, and you’d drank each one eagerly, impressed with how little alcohol you could taste in each one. You don’t remember how many you had, but it didn’t really matter.

The next thing you know, hands are on your waist, scooting you further up the bed so your legs no longer hang off the edge. Cracking open an eye, you’re met with the visage of red-and-white, eyes soft and warm as they regard you, Shouto’s face tinged a bit pink from the few drinks he had consumed. The man had never been too good at holding his alcohol.

When those hands started to slip beneath your shirt, you wiggled like a little worm, not really comprehending the situation. Maybe it was a dream.

Your shirt was discarded, then your pants. It felt much more comfortable now, and you mumbled a “thanks” to the man helping you settle for bed. He was so nice, Shouto took such good care of you. You still kind of couldn’t believe the turn your life had taken with him, the good luck pushed into your path.

Someone was kissing you.

With a grunt of surprise, you kissed them back, meeting their feverish pace and trying to keep up, soft lips puckering and pushing against your own with intent. Kissing felt good. You liked kissing.

Then a hand was cupping your face, stroking tenderly over your cheek before it began sliding down, down your neck, into the valley between your breasts, trailing over your bra. It felt funny.

Pushing back for air, you gasped when the hand on your chest started squeezing at you, eyes flying open with the startling, sudden sensation.

Shouto was hovering over you, lips puffy, panting as he stared at you with lusty eyes, an uncharacteristic look on his face. This... this wasn’t supposed to be like this. You knew. Hadn’t the two of you just talked about something... important? Was it important?

You didn’t feel panic until a hand cupped your sex, feeling your skin through your panties.

This wasn’t right.

Alarm bells were ringing, dull and far away, but you didn’t think that Shouto should be touching you in such a way. you should be going to bed.

“Mm, Sho, can you stop?” But your words felt funny on your tongue, and Shouto didn’t stop. Maybe he didn’t hear you.

His hair tickled your chin as the man bent to mouth at your tits, pulling the cups of your bra underneath them so he could feel your hot skin, let his saliva drag slick and wet against your chest.

Your hands instinctively rooted themselves in his hair as you gasped again, not expecting such a move, tugging lightly at his head to pull him up. Shouto just groaned, teething gently at your breasts and not moving an inch. His hips were grinding against the bed though, as he stood between your spread legs.

Before you knew it, your panties were gone, bra clumsily unclasped and discarded, and you were completely bare. Shouto was undressing before you, struggling with the buttons on his shirt before giving up, easily ripping the fabric of his body with one tug, grumbling.

You didn’t feel so tipsy anymore.

“Shouto, what’re we doing? We shouldn’t be doing this, we need to stop-”

“Stay down.” Was his firm command, a hand splayed across your naked chest and pushing you back into the mattress as you tried to sit up. It made you breathless, the growl in his voice, the dominance emanating from the man. You stayed still.

“This’s gonna make us a stronger couple.” The man slurred, eyes dark and hands wandering, effortlessly keeping you pinned against the bed as he ground his hips forward against the edge. You were getting scared.

“Wait-”

You fell silent as one hand pushed down his pants, his underwear going with them, pink cock bobbing free. He was so pretty down there, and it made sense, all of him was pretty, but you suddenly realized the weight of the situation, what was happening.

“Shouto, no, oh my god. We gotta stop right now, we’re drunk, we’re-we’re-”

“Don’t care. Not gonna let you hide away from me this time.” Shouto shook his head, taking his cock in one hand and giving it a long, slow pump, flushed tip weeping precum and wetting his hand.

“No, no, this is wrong. I don’t want this, I could get pregnant!” You cried, beginning to panic for real, pushing against the one strong hand anchoring you to the bed.

Shouto just chuckled, letting go of his cock to crowd against you, getting up in your face to press a wet finger to your lips, the salty taste of his precum threatening to slip into your mouth unless you kept it shut. “Shhh, shh. If you stay nice and still, if you do what I say, I’ll use a condom.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“You’re gonna listen to me, you always do.” The man nodded to himself, once again dragging his cock against the bed between your legs, as if he couldn’t stop himself. “Or else I’ll fuck you raw.” The finger was pulled from your lips, only to be wagged teasingly in your face.

You couldn’t believe how he was acting.

“Be nice.”

Shouto tapped your nose with a neatly manicured finger, before groaning as he heaved himself upright, red cock bobbing against his stomach, desperate for attention. The man gave you a look, as if to say “don’t move” before he took his hands off you, heading for his dresser.

Once you saw him pulling out a strip of condoms, you were on your feet, stumbling toward the door.

Although panic had sobered you somewhat, you were still struggling with the effects of the alcohol, so your reaction time was maddeningly slow. Slow enough that you weren’t able to truly fight against Shouto when he grabbed you from behind toned arms wrapping around your middle and heaving you into the air, only to throw you back on his bed.

You were almost sick on the bedspread, world spinning and stomach protesting, but you were able to calm yourself.

But then Shouto was on you, flipping you onto your back, a soft hand pressing against your throat threateningly.

“You want to have a baby? Want me to cum in you so you’ll get all fat with kids? Hm?” He was so intense, almost choking you, straddling your waist and keeping you pinned. It was too much

You were able to manage a tearful, desperate “No!” despite the hand around your throat, and Shouto backed off, releasing the pressure to instead stroke his hand against the sides of your neck.

“Stop acting like this, it’s the next logical step for us. You said you cared for me, wanna make me happy. This’ll make me happy. I won’t be like the last guy.”

His cock was pressed against your stomach, and you could feel it twitching. Shouto clambered off of you, letting go of your neck so he could grab the condoms he’d tossed on the bed before snatching you up.

“Do what I say and I use these.” He waved them in your face before tearing one off, beginning to open it.

You stayed still, gazing at him blearily, limbs feeling fuzzy, mind feeling the same.

The condom was rolled onto Shouto’s cock, the man spitting into his palm and giving the latex a few rubs to make it slick before reaching for you.

He dragged you to the edge of the bed - the perfect height for him to fuck you - and you didn’t fight, terrified of his threat. You couldn’t stand the thought of a baby.

(You didn’t know, but neither could he)

“Wanted to do this since I met you.” Shouto mumbled, pushing your panties to the side with a few fingers so he could guide his tip to your hole. “Want you so bad.”

You didn’t know what to think of this side of Shouto. This unreserved, uncareful, slurring mess of a man that loomed before you, gaze dark and wild, limbs everywhere as he groped and squeezed and appreciate the shape of your body.

But he must’ve gotten impatient, because then he was pushing inside.

It hurt, stinging pain rippling up your back and you keened, causing Shouto to pause. One of his hands darted down to wrap around your calf, hauling it up on the bed so he could lean forward and press it to you chest, sinking his cock a few inches deeper.

“You’re gonna take it.” He hissed before messily kissing you, pressed so close together that it was hard to breathe. “I’ll make it feel good after you do.”

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

baby sister ~ mark;midsommar

word count: 1929

request?: yes!

“Mark from Midsommar imagine about Christan's sister crushing on Mark and when Mark finds out they start dating. And Christian finds them making out and gets all pissed and tries to fight Mark but reader yells at Christian to stop.”

description: in which he’s very protective over his baby sister, and now his best friend is dating her

pairing: mark x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

There were so many words that could describe my brother. Asshole was definitely the most accurate one. Protective was the second most accurate way to describe him.

I was the family baby, and when mine and Christian’s dad left, Christian took it upon himself to be the man of the house. This included being the one to try and scare away my boyfriends. Well...try and usually succeeded. It was becoming impossible to date unless I did it secretly.

Which was what I was doing with Christian’s best friend, Mark.

From the moment we met, I knew I was head over heels for Mark. Of course, trying to act on that under Christian’s watchful eye was basically impossible. Until Mark initiated a particularly steamy make out session while Christian wasn’t home.

“We can keep this a secret,” he assured me. “I don’t bring girls around anyways, and the guys don’t ask about that shit.”

“Secret romance is incredibly sexy,” I noted. Mark smiled and kissed me again.

Ever since then, we had secretly been in a relationship. No one knew, not even Dani who was my closest friend. I trusted her to keep the secret from anyone else, but Dani told Christian everything. She couldn’t lie to him, he knew her too well to fall for her lies. I knew giving her this secret would be a massive burden on her, and I couldn’t do that to her.

The secret rendezvous were hard sometimes, especially since Christian and Mark were living together. On the occasions where Christian would go over to Dani’s, and Josh would be out wherever for the night, I would go over with Mark for a few hours. But spending the night was a big risk. It was hard to know when Christian would come home, and the last thing either of us needed was for him to catch me in Mark’s bed.

I walked through the front door of the guy’s apartment and immediately called out, “Hey fuckers!”

“Hey baby sis,” came Christian’s voice in response. “You caught me at a sort of bad time, I’m about to go to Dani’s for a while.”

I gave him a worried look. “What? Why? Are you and the guys okay?”

“Oh yeah, nothing bad happened. She’s just having a rough time and I want to be there for her,” he responded. “You’re free to hang here if you want, but Mark will be the only one here. Josh is out of town with his parents for a while.”

I tried not to let the smirk I was feeling inside show. “Oh, well if it’s just Mark I’ll probably leave.”

“I don’t blame you. The guy is kind of boring.”

If I didn’t know that Christian’s way of showing affection was by insulting someone I probably would’ve been offended.

He brushed past me and said goodbye, promising to hang out with me again after he spent some time with Dani. I pretended to be following him out to my car and waited until he was far enough away that he wouldn’t see me turn around and run back into the house.

I knew Mark was home. His car was in the driveway and his bedroom door was closed, something he always did when he was home and wanted some privacy. I ran straight to his room and threw the door open. His eyes widened as I dove onto the bed and immediately cuddled into his side.

“Is Christian gone already?” he asked.

I popped my head up to look at him in shock. “You knew?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I didn’t get the chance! He literally just told me when he walked in like an hour ago. I didn’t think he was leaving so soon.”

I rolled my eyes and kissed his cheek before settling my head into his neck. “So, how long is he gone for?”

“All weekend,” he responded. “Won’t be back till after class on Monday he said, and even then he may be gone for a little bit with Dani.”

“So,” I said, “are we having our first sleepover or not?”

Mark chuckled and kissed my forehead. “I would love for you to stay over. But do you want to go home and get your clothes?”

“Why would I want to do that when I have your clothes here?”

Mark gave me an amused look before rolling us over to get on top of me and begin to tickle me.

The first night I got to spend with Mark was fantastic. We spent so many hours just cuddling and talking, and of course countless hours having sex without worrying about anyone catching us. The first morning together, I woke up to find myself alone in bed, but with the smell of breakfast drifting in from the kitchen.

I got up and pulled on one of Mark’s shirts and ventured out into the kitchen, not worried about anyone catching me for once. Mark was stood next to the stove in just a pair of sweatpants, his back turned to me. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his naked torso.

“Good morning,” I said, kissing his cheek. “What are you making?”

“Just some bacon and eggs,” he responded. “I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.”

“You know I don’t sleep in enough for that to be possible, and I don’t like laying in bed for too long.”

Mark turned his head to meet my lips with his. “How did we end up together? We’re such different people.”

“Opposites attract baby.”

Mark smiled and turned to face me. In one quick motion, he lifted me onto the counter and stood between my legs. I giggled and kissed him deeply, holding his face in my hands as a way to keep him from pulling away.

We were so lost in one another that we didn’t notice the door opening, or the sound of a bag hitting the floor, until the voice that both of us dreaded to hear.

“What the fuck?!”

Mark jumped away from me in time to see Christian charging at him, murder present in his eyes. Mark quickly jumped out of the way and extended an arm to keep Christian at an arm’s length away.

“What the fuck were you doing to my sister?!” Christian snapped.

“Chill dude, we were just kissing!” Mark responded.

“Why was she kissing you?! Why is she here in just one of your shirts?!”

“Calm down, Christian,” I tried, pushing myself off of the counter to cover myself as much as I possibly could. “I stayed over the night.”

“But why?! And why with him?!”

He tried to lunge at Mark again, but this time I took hold of his arm and yanked him back. “Christian, fucking stop!”

“What has he said or done to make you want to kiss him and to stay the night with him?” Christian demanded. “What the fuck has he done to you?”

“Christian, shut the fuck up!” I felt myself shaking in rage and I just wanted to punch my older brother until he was unconscious. I guess we were more similar than I ever cared to admit.

My outburst surprised both my brother and my boyfriend. They both went silent, and for a moment Christian wasn’t even trying to kill Mark anymore.

“You’re so fucking controlling!” I said, airing out all the anger I had built up inside of me for so long. “I get that you want to be dad, I get that you’re trying to be ‘the man’, but holy fuck! I’m a fucking adult! I can date who I want, I can kiss who I want, I can fuck who I want! I don’t need you getting angry and intimidating every guy I date, Christian. I can’t be single forever you know.”

Christian glared at Mark once more before turning to face me. “I know that, (Y/N), but I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

“Do you know how much more it hurts when guys either ghost me or straight up tell me to my face that they’re too scared of you to date me?” I questioned. “Do you know how many guys told me that I wasn’t worth the hassle you gave them? I was hurt more by your protectiveness than I ever was by any guy.”

I saw a look pass over Christian’s face. I couldn’t tell exactly what it meant, but I knew there was a lot of information running through his head at that moment, a lot of things he had to process.

“And I know you don’t want me dating your best friend,” I continued before he could say anything else. “I know it’s like a violation of friend code or whatever the fuck guys have going on, and it’s weird and awkward. But I really do love Mark, and I know he loves me, too. You know Mark better than any guy I’ve ever tried to date, can you seriously look me in the eyes and tell me he’s not a good fit for me?”

Christian looked over at Mark once more before turning back to me. “He is a fuckface.”

I giggled. “Yeah, I know that. But he’s a good fuckface.”

“One of the better ones,” Christian agreed. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I just...I thought that’s how I was supposed to act, you know?”

“I know, mom never told you any different. I think she just liked you trying to be the man of the house all the time because it meant she didn’t have to take up any extra responsibilities.”

Christian pulled me into a hug, something I don’t think he had ever done before. It was quite a shock to both me and to Mark.

“You can date whoever you want,” he said. “I promise I won’t kill...well I promise I won’t kill any other guy you may date. I have no promises about Mark.”

“I’ll take that,” I told him. “And I’m sorry you had to find out like...this.”

Christian looked between us, trying not to look at the parts that weren’t clothed I could tell. “Yeah...not the best way, but I’ll bleach my eyes when I get back to Dani’s.”

We all laughed as Christian went to get whatever he had come home for and left again, saying goodbye and apologizing once more before closing the door behind him.

“That went well,” I commented. I looked over to see Mark smiling at me. “What?”

“Did you mean what you said? That you love me?”

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. In the heat of the moment, I let the big L word slip. Mark and I hadn’t said it to one another yet. We had only started dating mere months ago.

“I think so,” I admitted. “I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for anyone before. I...I think I do love you. Is that...is that weird to say?”

Mark wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Not at all. I think I love you, too.”

I smiled up at him and placed a gentle kiss against his lips.

“Don’t forget breakfast,” I whispered in his ear, nibbling on it gently before pulling away.

It took a moment for the lust to wash away after my small act for Mark to realize that breakfast was still on the pan cooking. I giggled as he quickly went to turn the stove off and check to make sure the food was still edible.

#mark #mark imagine #mark x reader #will poulter #will poulter imagine #will poulter x reader #midsommar #midsommar imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

Text

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable.

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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scxrlettwxtches · 3 years

Text

of early morning pancakes and serendipity | kim seungmin

genre: just pure fluff

warnings: mentions of food (bacon and pancakes to be specific!)

prompt: wrapping arms around them when they make breakfast

description: worried about his safety, you may or may not have broken into your neighbor’s apartment and ended up cooking him breakfast. and your neighbor may or may not have fallen in love.

word count: ~2.0k

a/n: hi anon! i hope you like this little drabble i came up with! the wrapping arms around them while cooking is a fun prompt, and i tried to put a little twist to it. however, im not sure if it worked aksdhfkajhd >.< either way, hope you enjoy! and as always, love you all so very much and hope everyone is staying safe! <3

The first thing Seungmin picked up on as he groggily sat up in bed was the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting into his room.

Which was a bit weird, since he lived alone.

“What the…” he mumbled, shifting in bed as his books and papers slipped off his chest and onto the floor. Oh, he must’ve fallen asleep while working on his project. When was the last time he got more than three hours of shut eye? Maybe he was dreaming.

But the almost intoxicating scent of fresh made food was too strong, too alluring to be something conjured up from his caffeine filled brain. Groaning, he got out of bed, his hand smacking the table blindly in order to feel for his gold-rimmed glasses.

Putting them on so he didn’t have to bruise himself crashing into drawers and cabinets again, he opened the door, only for his jaw to go slack as he stared upon a vaguely familiar figure standing in front of the stove.

“What are you doing here?” He sputtered, pointing an accusatory finger at you. Gasping in surprise, you whirled around, eyes wide as the pancakes simmered behind you.

Seungmin couldn’t call you a friend. You were closer than an acquaintance, since the two of you crossed paths often. You were the next door neighbor, after all, and he was often made aware of your presence when he’d see you sitting out in the balcony, reading in the morning. Despite all the brief interactions, though, Seungmin never tried to get close or make any attempts to know you better.

There wasn't any particular reason, except maybe the fact that he was a little afraid of you.

He knew the golden rule: don’t judge others by their appearances. He knew that rule very well, thank you very much! But how could he see you leaving your apartment every day, dressed all prim and proper with your black stiletto heels and pant-suit combination, and not be just a tad bit intimidated? Especially since you were so different from him, a struggling literature major whose style ranged from one hand-me-down sweater to the next.

But in this very moment, as he stared at you from across the living room, you didn’t look intimidating or authoritative in the least.

You were positively adorable, and Seungmin’s brain was reaching a crisis point.

Seungmin had never seen anyone be so engulfed by a Totoro onesie as you were. The grey fabric had practically swallowed you whole, especially since you also decided to keep the hood on, the little ears drooping at the top.

The two of you engaged in an accidental staring contest until you finally spoke up, startling him a bit.

“I wanted to make you breakfast.”

It was so simple yet so utterly preposterous at the same time that Seungmin was genuinely speechless for a long moment before he uttered a sophisticated response, “W-why? A-and that doesn’t explain how you’re in here.”

You huffed, your cheeks very clearly tinted with a darker color as you turned back around to face the stove, “You haven’t left your house in three days.”

“...Yes.”

As shameful as that was, Seungmin had to admit that it was true. He cautiously walked to the dining table, sitting down in one of the chairs as his eyes narrowed, “How did you know that?”

“The same way you knew I wasn’t following my schedule and deduced that I was most likely ill.”

Fuck, did he do that? In the crevices of his poor memory, he vaguely remembered getting a bit concerned that he had not seen you on the balcony at the normal sunset time, and also had not seen you leaving the house around the time he did. Because he was pretty sure you lived alone, he had put in an anonymous tip to your home, and he heard later that you’d fainted in the apartment from overwork.

“How did you know it was me?” Seungmin asked curiously. He barely even remembered the incident at all.

You flipped the pancakes with practiced ease, “Because you’re the only person I can deduce would care about me enough to put in an anonymous tip.”

Seungmin couldn’t help but feel a little sad about that. You really had no one else beside him? If that was true, he’d feel enormously guilty, as he and you had never spoken more than casual hi’s and goodbye’s and brief conversations in the apartment elevator. There was that one time he’d secretly tailed you back home to make sure you were safe, but he’d kept at least 20 feet of distance between the two of you, and you never knew about the incident ever.

(You actually did, but you just didn’t want to embarrass him.)

“Don’t feel bad, it’s just the truth,” you said simply, sliding the cooked pancakes onto a plate and turning off the stove.

“So, this is a thank you?” He mumbled sleepily, still not discrediting the idea that this was all just a fever dream. There was so much of it that didn’t make sense. You in the apartment, in his apartment, you cooking him breakfast, you wearing a giant Totoro onesie. It was just a lot to take in.

“Something like that,” you hummed, placing the plate and a fork onto the dining table before heading back to the stove to check on the bacon, “I haven’t seen you in three days, so I just needed to make sure you hadn’t died.”

Seungmin’s lips curled into a wry smile. This was beginning to sound more like your normal personality. The dry remarks, the sarcastic words laced with care. The way you could exchange only three words with each other as you crossed paths, but the interaction would still be a highlight of his day.

“And how exactly did you get into my apartment?” He asked, cutting his pancake into smaller pieces as he stabbed at them absently. When was the last time he had pancakes that weren’t burnt to the point that he triggered smoke alarms? The ones you made were soft and fluffy, the closest to a perfect pancake he will eat in his lifetime.

“I climbed over to your balcony,” you answered nonchalantly as you flipped the bacon to cook both sides.

Seungmin nodded in understanding, eating a piece of the pancake before he fully processed your words, and he choked in disbelief, “So you broke into my apartment?!”

“I thought you died! I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer!” You snapped back, feeling the embarrassment creep up your neck. It was bad enough that your sort-of crush was seeing you in your normal pajama onesie, does he think you’re a creep now?

Seungmin sighed, running a hand through his already unmanageable bed hair, “Well, I should thank you for being concerned.””

You huffed, keeping yourself turned away from him so he couldn’t see the conflict in your eyes, “Yes, you should be thankful.”

The boy chuckled, and the silence felt peaceful as he happily ate those delicious pancakes you’d made. It was such a weird moment of zen, with his normally intimidating neighbor softly humming and with the early morning glow filtering through the windows. Seungmin stared at your back, at the fluffiness of the cute onesie you were wearing, and before he knew it, he really did feel a strange, overwhelming sensation of gratitude for your presence.

You and him could hardly be classified as friends, and yet, you were the one breaking laws to check up him. He looked out for you, and you looked out for him in return. There was just something a bit surreal about it.

And now that he was thinking about it, had his heart always fluttered like that when he saw you?

“You’ve gone quiet. Have you died back there?” You called teasingly, wondering what the radio silence was all about.

When Seungmin didn’t answer, you frowned, but didn’t turn your head as you called again, “Hey, earth to Seungmin? Have you seriously--eek!”

You let out a rather embarrassing shriek as you suddenly felt a pair of gentle arms wrap around your waist from behind, exuding safety and care. Seungmin buried his face in your back, snuggling into the fuzzy fabric of your onesie.

“Um, Seungmin?” You prodded, completely caught off guard as your face felt hotter than ever. When you’d climbed over to his balcony and cut his lock to make sure he hadn’t died in his apartment, you’d never in your wildest dreams expected this.

“Shh,” Seungmin mumbled in reply, his voice still a little hoarse from sleep and exhaustion as he rested his cheek against you, holding you close, “Let me thank you...for caring about me.”

You thanked the gods that Seungmin could not see your face, see the way your eyes sparkled with glimmers of hope and astonishment as you tried to keep your voice level, “Thank me...with a hug?” You asked skeptically.

“Mhm,” The boy replied simply, nuzzling into you as he said softly, “A hug, to thank you for taking care of me, for worrying about me, for going out of your way to make sure I was safe. Do you not like it?”

You hesitated, because here was your perfect chance to say yes and forever keep your feelings for your neighbor locked in an unbreakable box in the depths of your heart. It was so easy for you to say that you didn’t like to be hugged, and you’d never have to feel this sort of fear of rejection from him ever again.

But at the same time, the comfort and the gentleness of his arms, the feeling of domesticity that you felt as he hugged you, it stirred your emotions in a way you’ve never felt before in your life. For the first time, you were experiencing a moment in time that you never wanted to end. You wanted to keep this memory in a treasured crystal, so you could look on at it when you were gray and old. The memory of homeliness, the memory of love.

Yes, it was love. Seungmin may not be in love with you, and may never be in love with you, but in that moment of serendipity, Seungmin made you feel loved, and that was a feeling you would never be able to stop yearning for now that you’ve experienced it.

“I like it. I like it very much,” you murmured after a long moment, leaning back into his arms. Seungmin stiffened against you, as if surprised by your acceptance, but he didn’t complain, only tightening his arms around your waist as he hung his chin on your shoulder and watched as you cooked.

“Good, because I like it, too.”

“Dork,” you scoffed, unable to fight the smile on your face as you turned off the stove and slid the bacon onto a plate. Seungmin smiled along, happily keeping his arms wrapped around your torso as you shuffled around the kitchen.

As you stumbled to the sink, half dragging a full grown man around as Seungmin refused to let go for more than a moment, you complained, “Don’t you have some sort of thesis to finish?”

Seungmin called bullshit to your words immediately, rolling his eyes as his fingers gently played with your waist and the fluffy grey material, “Do you think I would’ve crashed if I didn’t finish? I just need to do revisions.”

“Oh? Congratulations,” you said, walking to the dining table and putting down the plate of bacon before heading to brew some tea, “Is that your final assignment of the year? What else are you going to be working on now?”

Seungmin hummed noncommittally, only resting his chin on your shoulder as he soaked up every ounce of your kindness and your care. To him, you had an endless supply of it, and beneath your cold glares and sarcastic front, you were so willing to give it to him.

Little did you know, he had a very clear assignment planned once his thesis was submitted. The assignment might take days, weeks, months, maybe even years. But however long it would take, he’d be willing to pay the prince if it meant that he could earn your heart and your love in the process.

Step 1? Ask you out properly.

a/n: in the real world, the bacon would’ve burned but oh well

#inkidz #districtninewriters #stayhavennet #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids blurbs #stray kids fluff #kim seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin imagines #kim seungmin blurbs #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz x reader #skz x y/n #stray kids x reader #my fics

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nightshade-minho · 4 years

Text

-Blue Book- (11)

Warnings: anger, stress, y/n briefly wants to murder felix, a lot of negative emotions, headaches, light suggestiveness, britney spears cameo (nah just kidding- or am i)

Wc: 4.1k (finally a blue book part that’s longer than 2k)

Stop. Stop thinking about her. Stop thinking about how she’s probably out with Minho right now, having fun and laughing over inside jokes.

Sometimes he wished he could just dig into his brain and remove all traces of you. He simply couldn't think of another way to truly get rid of you, eradicate every remnant that stayed in his brain, reminding him how he’d felt back then.

Years had passed, and he still wasn't over it. There was a tiny part of him that thought maybe seeing you again would calm him down, and remind him that it wasn't a big deal. You'd changed, and he had too. It was time to get over petty high school grievances.

And yet, when he saw you with Minho again...he realized it simply wasn't possible. You were going to plague him for the rest of your life, and he knew it.

"I know pancakes are a weird choice for dinner but- Are you listening to me? Earth to Chan-"

Chan snapped back to reality, blinking as he stared at Felix, who pushed a plate of pancakes towards him, a concerned look on his face.

"I was asking you where you're staying at right now."

"Oh." Chan nodded thankfully, taking the fork and digging in. He was terribly hungry, and he'd missed Felix's cooking. His pancakes were always so soft and fluffy...a lot like him, to be honest.

To be honest, he didn't quite know yet. He hadn't left his parents on good terms, and now he found himself penniless unless he made up with them. Not one to beg, he'd decided to look around for a job. So far, he wasn’t all that successful. There was a heavy weight on his heart preventing him from truly committing to his work. He found it impossible to focus.

Felix sighed, taking a seat opposite him. " Chan...do you not have a place to stay?"

He shook his head finally, his gaze on the plate as he ate. He'd already told Felix the situation with his parents, somewhat. If his perception of Felix was right, he would be overcome with sympathy.

He was right. Felix wrung his fingers, his thoughts racing. He hated seeing the distraught expression on Chan's face. The words were on the tip of his tongue- the only thing stopping him was the thought of how you'd react.

You'd be pissed, beyond doubt.

Felix swallowed. Then again, this was his apartment. You didn't really have the right to oppose him if he wanted to let someone else stay for a bit. Besides, maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into you?

How bad could it be?

"Chan..." He began, inhaling.

"Do you want to stay here? At least until you find a place."

Chan sighed. There it was. He wasn’t surprised to find out he’d predicted correctly. Felix had been his best friend, after all. He knew him like the back of his hand. "Are you sure you...and your roommate...would be fine with it?"

"I'm positive." He lied, scratching the back of his neck as Chan groaned.

He didn't really have another choice. Psyching himself up to agree, Chan sucked in a breath and pushed away his intruding emotions.

"Sure."

***

You knocked on the door, inhaling deeply as you ran through all the different ways you were going to murder Felix in your head. You couldn’t believe it. He really had the audacity to not only invite him over, but also neglect to inform you the same.

Tapping your foot, you rubbed your forehead as the door remained closed. Sighing, you dug into your bag for your keys, procuring them after a few seconds of searching through the crumpled chewing gum packets and loose coins. You really had to clear out your bag sometime.

You entered your apartment, yawning as you shed your coat, heading to the kitchen for a drink. Your throat was dry, your head pounding with stress. Ugh, what a bad day it had been. Marginally better due to the time you’d spent with Minho- but still bad. Chan’s sudden appearance really had put a damper on everything you’d done since then.

As you reached the kitchen, you stopped in your tracks.

Fuck. You turned around immediately when you saw who was sat at the table, an empty plate in front of him as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t seen you standing in the doorway. Yet.

Carefully, you started padding away as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, the gods really weren’t in the mood to smile upon you today.

“Y/n?”

His voice was tired, bare of any emotion whatsoever. You twisted your neck to look at him, opening your mouth and closing it. He was staring at you, his eyes devoid of feeling, his lips pressed in a thin line. You had no clue what to say. Looking at his face again brought back memories you’d much rather forget.

“It’s...nice to see you again.” He mumbled, tearing his gaze away from you.

‘Nice’ was really not the word.

“Yeah. How have you been?” You managed to ask, swallowing the lump in your throat. He drummed his fingers on the table top as his mind searched for an appropriate response. You watched him, your heart clenching as you remembered the way his hand felt in yours.

“Fine.” He finally decided to say. “I’ve been fine, more or less.” After all, he was used to lying.

“And you? Having fun with Minho?” There was a slight bite to his voice as he uttered the words, making you raise an eyebrow. Suddenly, the anger you harbored towards him was reignited. What was he implying? It shocked you that he could talk like that, without a trace of apology in his tone. As if it was you who’d betrayed him, and not the other way around.

“For your information, yes. We’re having a lot of fun.” You snapped, turning and leaving the kitchen to go straight to your room. Just read a book, listen to some music and calm yourself down. He’ll be gone soon.

Chan watched you walk away, his hands balling into fists. So you had absolutely no remorse, whatsoever.

He bit his lip, hating the weird amalgamation of emotions that were gripping him like a vice. He’d felt envy flood him as you said it, rubbing it in his face. Shaking his head, he turned back to his phone, biting his lip.

***

You knocked on Felix's door, biting your lip in anger as you waited for him to open it. Tapping your foot, you shook your head. Why was he still here, even? He should be gone by now.

"Looking for Felix?"

You started, turning around with a glare on your face.

Shit. He was way too close to you, his face inches away from yours. All you'd have to do is lean in just the tiniest bit, and your lips would be on his...

"He went out. Errands. Won't be back till tonight."

You groaned, taking a step back as you rolled your eyes. "Okay, whatever."

Chan watched you, an amused smile making its way onto his face. He'd flustered you a little, that much was evident. He wasn't quite sure yet if that was something to be proud of...but it was the little victories that counted, right? A part of him was glad that he still managed to have some sort of effect on you, even after all these years.

"You know if it's important, you can always tell me. Is there anything I can get you?"

You scoffed, shaking your head as you backed up further, your hand on the doorknob. "This is my home." you reminded him, his incredulous sentence rubbing you the wrong way.

Chan almost felt bad for you.

Shrugging, he turned to walk away. "Not anymore."

"Huh?" His words took a while to sink into your brain, and you raised your eyebrow in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Y/n...is that any way to talk to your new roommate?"

No. No way. Felix wouldn't...

"What?!"

"Not forever." He shrugged, his hand running through his hair. "Just until I find a permanent place to stay. Until then though, I'll be here."

This couldn't be happening. The anger was increasing slowly, rage directed to your roommate as well as the man in front of you.

Chan looked back at you, sighing as he noted the upset expression growing on your face. Did you really hate him that much?

"Look. I'll stay out of your hair." He muttered, his tone clipped. "I don't think it will be that difficult for us to co-exist if we manage to be civil to each other."

You pressed your lips together in a thin line. "Sure. I don't care." You had already planned on remaining in your room for the entirety of his stay, however impractical that would be. You weren’t ready to dig up all that trauma from your teenhood just yet.

Chan gritted his teeth, his eyes searching yours as he thought of what else to say. The atmosphere was tense- too many things left unsaid, half spoken promises lingering in the air between you. It was frustrating, yet Chan held himself back. He was an adult now. There was no space for immaturity or trivial grudges in his life currently- no, he had to stay strong. With his credentials, it would be fairly easy to land a job. He just had to speed the process up, and soon enough he’d be out of this apartment.

So he took a deep breath and gave you a smile, turning around to go back to the kitchen. He prided himself in his decision, a small first step to eliminating his inability to let go.

You watched as he left, chewing on your lip. Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you turned to go back into your room, grabbing your phone and dialing Felix’s number aggressively.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Um, I left to grab some groceries-”

“Did you really offer to let him stay at our place?” You asked, your tone calm as you gripped the bed sheets.

“W-well...yeah..” You heard him gulp on the line. “It’s just for a few days, Y/n, till he gets a job-”

“And do you know how long that’s going to take?” You hissed, rubbing your temple as you heard his footsteps in the kitchen.

“I...look, Y/n. You have every right to be angry. I’m sorry, I should have checked with you first before making a decision.”

“No shit.”

A sigh. “Look, I won’t be home till evening. Please um...keep it mature. Again, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, cutting the call and throwing your phone onto the mattress. It was going to be fine, as long as you stayed away. The apartment was small, so you couldn’t avoid running into him, though...whatever. It’d be fine, you’d be able to hold yourself out for a few days, if Felix was to be believed. You rubbed your forehead, groaning.

You were in dire need of a nap.

Sighing, you fell back onto the cushy pillows, curling up on the mattress. Your head was throbbing with the beginnings of a headache. You needed a glass of water, but you weren’t going to leave your room today, at least until Felix comes back.

You hated the way your heart was still pounding, your emotions a jumbled mess. It was natural, right? To be this affected? He was your first love, after all. And he’d betrayed you.

At first, you didn’t want to believe it. There was a part of you that hoped a tiny part of Chan had actually loved you, a part that hoped Minho was lying. But then you’d asked Felix about the ‘bet’, and the guilty look on his face told you everything you needed to know.

Of course it had been suspicious, the popular guy coming up to talk to you- a lonely new kid who barely anyone talked to, especially when half his friend group were cold to you. But the more time you spent with him, the more you had begun to feel like he truly did love you. Was it even possible to fake emotions as well as he had? Chan was a good actor.

After you left, Chan never acknowledged the message you’d sent him. Not at all. You’d poured your heart out, for nothing. It had been the final nail in the coffin, the final incident convincing you that he’d never truly loved you back.

You sighed and sat up to switch the lights off, flooding the room in darkness as you buried your face in the pillow. There was complete silence in the room for a few minutes, and you let out a peaceful hum, snuggling further into the blanket. Sleep was beginning to overtake you slowly, your eyes closing as you slipped further into dreamland. You slept for about an hour, untroubled.

That is, until there was a loud crash from beyond the door, forcing you to shoot up and rub your eyes, anger coursing through you. You threw the blankets off your figure, storming up to your door and flinging it open. Ugh, fuck this. Fuck staying in your room and not causing trouble. You needed an outlet for this pent up anger, or you were going to fucking lose it.

“What the fuck was that?” You called out loudly, only to be returned with complete silence. Standing in the middle of the empty living room, you furrowed your brows in confusion.

The bathroom door opened just as you were ready to turn around and head back into your room. Swiveling around, you glared at Chan as he stepped out, a rather innocent look on his face. Innocent...nothing like the fact that he was fresh out of the shower, naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist.

For a minute, you were rendered dumb. Your eyes watched as his dripping wet hair trailed droplets of water down his torso, down the ridges of his abs and disappearing into the towel. You didn’t even know he looked like that underneath those clothes...

“Hey. Sorry for the noise.” Chan mumbled, pushing his hair back as he closed the door behind him. “The shower caddy fell down randomly. Don’t worry, I fixed it.”

His blank expression slowly transformed into something more devious as he shut the door. He smirked as he observed your expression, his ego boosting as he realized he was the reason you were speechless.

“I- well-” You grunted and shook your head. “You fucked up my nap. Thanks a fucking lot.” You grumbled, crossing your arms as you kept your gaze fixed on his face. “Now if there’s nothing else, I’ll be leaving.” You coughed, voice slightly shaky as you desperately tried to conceal your burning cheeks,

“And...put some clothes on.” You grumbled before heading back. Before you could, though, you felt a hand wrapping around your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

Stopping yourself before you could stumble too close to him, you looked up at him angrily, yanking your wrist away. “What?” You hissed.

“You don’t look too well.” He said, lifting his hand to your forehead. Before he could press his hand to your skin though, you backed away out of his reach.

“I’m perfectly fine. It’s just a tiny headache.” You lied, your head throbbing with a migraine even as you said it.

“Hm.” Chan’s face softened a little as he sighed. “A headache? Do you need water? I have some pills that could help numb the pain.”

You shook your head vehemently. “I don’t want anything you offer me.” You tried to ignore the flash of hurt in his eyes as you said the words. No, Chan wasn’t the victim here, you were. What right did he have to display vulnerability?

“Fine.” Chan opened his mouth, looking like he had more to say. For a second, he contemplated blurting everything out then and there. He wanted you to know the pain he’d been living with through his years...he wanted you to know that despite your betrayal, you were all that was a constant in his mind. And yet, as he continued watching your icy glare, he knew you weren’t in a position to be amicable.

“Get some rest.” He muttered, anger seeping in again at your coldness, mixing with the concern that was still etched into his heart.

“That’s what I was fucking doing before you woke me up so rudely.”

Ugh. God, he really did have enough of your behavior.

“Stop being a brat, Y/n. Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you get to be snippy with me. You have no right to be angry.”

The fuck? Oh, this entitled prick-

“I have every right to be! This is my house you just barged into, I make the rules here. So shut up and leave me alone.” You spat out, clenching your fists.

Chan felt an unknown urge creep through his being as you continued your remarks, scrunching his eyes shut and trying to calm himself down for a second. Okay, so this definitely wasn’t the sunshiney Y/n he’d once known.

“Felix asked me to stay, I didn’t barge in.. God, you really are a bitch. I’m a guest here, and yet you’re treating me like-”

That was the last straw. You inhaled deeply, feeling your headache grow worse as your anger amplified. You’d had enough. Biting your lip, you shoved past him and headed for the front door. You couldn’t be in the same space as this dickhead for a second longer.

“Where are you going?” His voice was confused, as he turned to look at you storming out in your pajamas.

“Fuck you. Away from here.” You explained, flashing him one last glare over your shoulder as you slammed the door behind you.

Chan stood in the middle of the room, letting out a deep sigh at your sudden departure.

What was he going to tell Felix? He’d promised himself that he’d keep it civil.

He seemed to be breaking a lot of promises lately...

***

You stood outside of the door, leaning against it and trying to calm down your breathing, chest heaving. Just the sight of him brought back memories you wished you could bury. How could you be expected to live in the same place as him without wanting to tear out your eyeballs?

Just when you’d thought you were finally moving on, he barreled his way back into your life. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to be mature.

You just wanted him to know you were no longer the meek little optimistic girl you once had been. Adult life has a cruel way of opening your eyes.

Rose colored lenses eventually lead to dismay and disappointment.

***

You didn’t realize you were going to Minho’s apartment until you reached his door, hand poised over the door to knock. Breathing in, you firmly rapped on the wood. A few minutes of silence passed, and you tilted your head in confusion. Minho usually answered the door right away, without too much delay.

You waited a bit before deciding to ring the doorbell, heaving a sigh of relief when the door finally opened, revealing a smiling Minho.

“Hey, thought it was you. I was in the shower.” Clearly. His hair was slightly wet and he’d clearly pulled on the first shirt he could find- unless he actually liked wearing 2009 Britney Spears t-shirts around the house.

Why was the universe chucking so many soaking wet boys at you today? At least Minho was clothed.

You chuckled as you pointed out the motif on the shirt. “’Oops I Did It Again’? Really?”

He shook his head, crossing his arms. “Hey, that music video is a masterpiece. Did you know it was released on my birthday?”

You giggled. “Of course it was.”

He smiled, before standing up straighter. “Wait, why are you here?”

You pursed your lips playfully. “Do I need a reason to visit one of my best friends?”

“Of course you don’t. We just spent time together in the afternoon, though. Is there a reason you’re back so early?” He questioned, placing a finger on his chin and pretending like he was deep in thought. “Oh, got it. You can’t get enough of me.” He said smugly.

You rolled your eyes, walking in as he stood aside to let you in. Minho’s apartment was smaller than the one you shared with Felix, but a lot more nicely decorated. You flopped down onto the sofa, sighing. “That’s not it.” You shook your head. “It’s Chan.”

“Oh. Him.” Minho cleared his throat, crossing his arms as he came to sit down next to you. “What about him?” He asked carefully.

“He’s staying with us.”

“What?” Minho wasn’t sure he’d heard right for a moment, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Yeah, Felix let him stay. Until he gets a job, apparently.” You groaned, slipping off your shoes and curling your knees up to your chest. “I can’t stand being around him. Not after what he did to me. You understand, right?”

Minho stayed silent for a few minutes, swallowing the lump in his throat as he leaned back. “Right…”

You watched Minho, frowning at his expression. “Anyway, as I said, I couldn’t stay there. Um, can I crash here for a few days? He said he’ll get a job soon and move out, so it’ll be quick.”

Minho’s eyes widened. “Oh? Yeah! You can! You can stay.” He blurted, trying not to seem too eager. His ears turned a light shade of red as he watched you nod in relief, snuggling further into the cushions. “I’ll take the couch.” You mumbled, eyes fluttering as you rubbed your forehead for the millionth time.

“No, you take my bed. I’m alright on the couch.”

You opened an eye, shaking your head. “Minho, this is your home. Unlike Chan, I’m a good house guest.”

“Yeah but... I don’t want you out here on the couch alone. This isn’t exactly a nice neighborhood.”

You sat up, sighing. “I’d feel bad stealing your bed while you sleep on this lumpy couch.”

“Aha! So you admit it’s uncomfortable! That’s it, you’re sleeping in my bed. Besides, it’s big enough for the two of us!”

Minho wished he could take it back almost as soon as he said it. “Um, I mean…”

You raised your eyebrows, shrugging. “Uh, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” You sat up, a little shakily as your head swam. “God, my head hurts.”

Minho shot up to his feet, sighing. “Come on, I’ll take you to bed.” He grabbed your hand gently, taking you to his bedroom and making you sit down on the edge. You hummed in content, eyes still closed as you burrowed under the covers, snuggling into Minho’s pillows that faintly smelled of his cologne. It was comforting, and soon you found sleep overtaking you.

Minho sighed as he watched you fall asleep, sitting on the edge of his bed. He was nowhere near sleepy and had originally been planning on making some dinner before you came, but now he didn’t want to leave you alone.

Groaning, he lay down on his mattress, pulling the sheets over his body and making sure to leave a respectful amount of distance between you.

He watched you for a while, your eyelashes fluttering slightly as you slept, chest rising and falling with your breaths.

He didn’t know what he was feeling, exactly. There were strong emotions gripping his heart, most of them towards you, and yet he couldn’t act on any of them. Hell, he couldn’t even comprehend half of them.

Minho turned to face the ceiling, eyes following the tiny crack in the plaster. He couldn’t deny it any longer.

Guilt. The heavy weight sat on his heart was guilt. Thick, all consuming guilt, that threatened to swallow him whole unless he came clean.

He knew he didn’t deserve you...not just because of how he’d acted, but also because of what he was keeping from you. He didn’t deserve for you to accept his apologies, not after the way he’d treated you. Not after he’d kept the complete truth about Chan from you.

Was he being an asshole? Chan was once his friend. A close friend, one he spent every day with. And yet he’d screwed him over.

For a minute, he wondered what would happen if he told you that he’d been the one to make the bet. He’d made Chan continue with it despite his reluctance. He’d noticed Chan actually falling in love with you, and yet had brushed it over.

Would you still be beside him now if you knew?

He doesn’t want to find out. No.

There was moonlight streaming through his window, illuminating the entire room too brightly. The light, combined with the remorse, ensured a sleepless night.

He glanced at you again. At least he’d have you by his side. For now...

#chan angst #chan smut #chan fluff #bang chan angst #bang chan smut #bang chan fluff #chris smut #chris angst #chris fluff #skz smut #skz angst #skz fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #minho angst #felix fluff #felix angst

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gaemkyuu · 3 years

Text

Mommy will you marry Charlie? (Charlie Gillespie x Fictional Character)

Warnings: mention of teenage pregnancy A/N: I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of love “Mommy can we keep him” received. I was originally going to upload the proposal AND the wedding, but I’ve been struggling a bit with the wedding portion. I hope you enjoy the proposal! Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

Masterlist *now taking requests ;)

Mommy will you marry Charlie?

“Hey! Are you ready to go?” Charlie knocked and popped his head into Riley’s ensuite, pausing to take in her beauty. She was dressed in a pretty summer dress and placed a few more bobby pins into her hair, smiling at him in the mirror.

“Just about. Are Owen and Savannah here?” Riley’s answer came at that moment when the doorbell rang. Charlie left the ensuite and headed for the door just as Emerson got to it.

“Emmy, what did we say about answering the door?” Charlie chastised, moving quicker to the door. Emerson slightly pouted knowing he was right and sat on the entryway bench, waiting for Charlie to open the door. “You guys are just in time!” “No thanks to Owen” Savannah scoffed, motioning to the giant behind her.

“I hadn’t eaten yet, I needed My Chick-fil-A, but then I forgot to order some for Emmy, so we had to go back through the drive through” he sighed, showing him the two bags of take out in his hands. “Where is the little stinker?”

“I’m not stinky! I took a bath!” she hopped on the entryway bench and into Savannah’s arms first, Owen dramatically displayed his offense to the toddler.

“How come she gets a hug first?! I brought you Chicken Strips!” Savannah picked her up and balanced her on her hip. “I even convinced the lady to give you two books!”

“Aunty Savannah didn’t call me stinky and knows that I ate supper before you came.” she giggled and shook her head. “Plus, I like the chicken nuggets and not the strips” Owen rolled his eyes and muttered a ‘oh come on’ under his breath, but as soon as Savannah put her down, Emerson gave Owen’s leg a hug.

Riley came to the front door and greeted her friends, thanking them again for being so willing to babysit while they went out for the evening. After Charlie and Emerson’s date, the couple decided that they would go on more family dates as a request from the little girl and Charlie. Riley didn’t think anything of it, but she certainly didn’t want to come between the relationship they were both developing. This was the first time Emerson ever really accepted another man into their lives.

At the young age of 18 and saving enough money, Riley moved out of her mother’s home in Chino Hills to a one bedroom, one bath in downtown LA that was closer to her office. Riley was grateful that her mom agreed to come over to their apartment to babysit Emerson while she was at work as it helped her to save up more money to eventually move into a chic modern home on the outskirts of downtown. She was always so focused on providing for Emerson that she rarely let anyone into her life and when she did, she always had to make sure that they got the seal of approval from Emerson.

There was Nick from the marketing department at Netflix who she thought was cute, but he wasn’t very open to the idea of potentially becoming a dad so early on. Emerson really didn’t like him as she would cry every time he looked at her or moved towards her. That didn’t last more than three weeks.

Then there was Jaime from the grocery store who loved children and really liked Riley, but Emerson didn’t like the fact that Riley made more money than Jaime and warned her mom several times about him, despite her young age. Riley learned her lesson that sometimes four year olds are very perceptive because Jaime asked to borrow money for his rent a month later.

Lastly, there was Greg, a single dad who had twins the same age as Emerson. That didn’t last because the kids would often fight. Emerson thought the children were dumb and immature, while the twins thought Emerson was acting like a weird grown up.

Riley always prioritized Emerson in any decision making process she had, but at her core she felt lonely. She couldn’t tell her daughter this despite her intelligence. She was still a child. What kind of a mother would she be if she vented to her child? But Emerson knew her mom was lonely. She often heard her crying in the pantry and quietly talking on the phone late at night. That’s why when Charlie walked in their lives, she knew she had to play nice for a little while for the sake of her mother. Neither girls expected that Charlie would become such an important piece of their lives.

“Emerson we will be back past your bedtime, so give me kisses now” Riley requested as she hugged her little girl and peppered her with kisses. She giggled and kissed her mother back until she let go. Instinctively, Charlie knelt down too and opened his arms, giving her a quick peck on the head. Emerson gave him a hug back and kissed him on the cheek, the gesture garnering a loud “aw” from Owen, as the girls silently admired the interaction. Charlie rolled his eyes and whispered to Emerson quickly, making her giggle as his breath tickled her ear and neck.

“You guys should get going so we can start painting Uncle Owen’s nails!” Savannah interrupted, glancing at the time on her phone. “We also get to facetime Uncle Jeremy, Aunty Carolyn and Aunty Madison too!” Emerson got super excited and skipped to her bedroom to grab her “nail kit”, a toy Savannah had bought her last Christmas. With a laugh, the couple headed out the door and off to supper.

As soon as the door closed, the two friends and Emerson got to work. They were in on the plan and set about decorating their house. Emerson and Charlie had gone to PartyCity a few days ago while Riley was at an executive meeting and picked out a bunch of decorations for his proposal. At first, Charlie was hesitant, but Emerson was absolutely sure her mother said yes. Knowing his past of always being proven wrong by Emerson, he decided to listen to the little girl and follow her lead.

“Remember, mommy had me when she was a kid so she missed out on kid things. Do a bunch of kid things with mommy!”

That’s what prompted Charlie to take her to Santa Monica. Charlie had made a reservation at a restaurant on the Santa Monica beachfront and the two enjoyed a lovely casual dinner. They talked about projects they were excited about and started ‘people watching’ from their seats, laughing and making silly jokes about the people who passed them by. After dinner, they set out to do “Kid Things” and played games on the pier, settling for mini donuts as dessert and eventually watching the sunset. Charlie tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed as he felt the small box in his pocket.

“Mommy won’t say yes unless I’m there. She would be too busy thinking about me before she says yes, so ask her at home”

“But what about bedtime?”

“I mean if you say I can stay up, then that should be okay right?”

“You okay? You looked tense for a second” Riley snapped him out of his thoughts, but he was grateful that she shivered because it gave him a chance to change the topic.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about the sunset in Dieppe. Can’t wait to take you one day. Cold?” he draped his denim jacket over her shoulders, and hugged her from behind. As soon as the glow from the sunset disappeared and the glow of the carnival lights replaced them, Charlie decided that instead of walking on the beach, they would go home and watch a movie on the couch. They spent the drive back to Riley’s place in a comfortable silence with the radio gently playing music. Charlie started to feel more excited and antsy the closer they got to her place. Before exiting the car, he held her hand in his and kissed the back of it. “I love you, you know that?” Riley smiled, nodded and kissed him on the lips. Charlie raced her to the door, knowing full well that he would beat her to it, but that didn’t stop Riley from trying. They stumbled through the entry a fit of giggles and laughter, but Riley stumbled on a pair of shoes.

“Charlie! I told you to... put your shoes...away?” she became more confused as she stared at the pair. They weren’t Owen’s, Charlie’s, Savannah’s or Emmerson’s. Who could be in their house? She looked up to see Charlie nowhere in sight and began to worry. “Char, this isn’t funny. This is like the scene from a horror movie” she quickly shed her shoes and walked down the corridor to the living room. She didn’t expect to see her mother, Charlie’s mom and their closest friends standing behind Charlie and Emerson with excited looks on their faces. To add to her confusion, they held party poppers and noise makers, while a giant Congratulations banner decorated her living room. She heard Emerson clear her throat and Charlie stood proudly beside her.

“Dear mommy, I stayed up past my bedtime because Charlie said I had to” everyone in the room laughed at this, as Emerson continued to read from the piece of paper in her hands.

“Mommy, you work so hard to give me the best life and the best toys. Sometimes I wonder how I can give you the best life and the best toys, but adults don’t play with toys. I asked aunty Carolyn why she was so happy with uncle Jeremy, and she said it was because she gets to be with uncle Jeremy forever” Carolyn wiped the tear that had formed in her eyes.

“I asked uncle Owen why aunty Carolyn and uncle Jeremy got to be together forever, and that’s when uncle Owen said it was because they were married.” She took a deep breath and lost her place on her paper. Charlie peaked over and pointed to where she needed to keep reading from.

“Oh, right. When I asked you were getting married, you told me never and that it was a rude question, but I think that was because you had a bad day at work” despite the teary eyes, her comment made everyone laugh.

“So I asked Charlie to go on a date with me and ask him when he would marry you” Riley gasped as Charlie pulled out the box with the ring, getting down on one knee. “I know Charlie makes you happy and I think you should be together forever. Charlie has a question for you and the answer is yes.”

“Riley King, I love you and I love Emerson. I can’t think of anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with. You and Emerson are my family now, so let’s make it official” Charlie winked at Emerson who put her paper down and also got onto one knee beside Charlie.

“Mommy, will you marry Charlie?” Riley was crying full tears at this point listening to her daughter’s words, but she nodded and whispered a yes. Everyone erupted in a cheer and the party poppers went off as he put the ring on her finger, kissing her and picking up Emerson. “You did so good, Emmy!”

“You’re gonna be my daddy!!!” Emerson exclaimed, full of excitement and squeezing Charlie.

Riley wiped her tears and kissed her daughter on the cheek, truly speechless. Everyone came around to congratulate them, Savannah, Madison, and Carolyn all wanting to see the ring first and then hugs. She was on cloud nine, still not able to understand how this was all being planned behind her back. “Is that why you volunteered to babysit?” Savannah nodded her head sheepishly and hugged her friend. Charlie’s mother gave her a big hug congratulating her on their engagement expressing her excitement to have another daughter in law, while Riley’s mother hugged Charlie, crying happy tears. The rest of the evening was spent enjoying everyone’s company that the couple lost track of time. By the time they said goodbye to Owen, the last to leave, Emerson had fallen asleep on the couch.

“You mean to tell me, you planned this entire thing with my daughter behind my back?” Charlie smiled and nodded, picking the little girl up from the couch, careful not to wake her up. “I mean, I am touched, but I’m also afraid of what else you two are capable of doing”

“Just wait til you hear her ideas for the wedding.” Charlie chuckled as they headed to her room to tuck her in for the night. He put the little girl into bed and Riley watched the whole scene from the doorway, tears coming to her eyes as it finally sank in that this was her family. Emerson stirred and shifted around, uncomfortable all of a sudden. Charlie cooed at her and assured that she was fine, humming softly to her, something that he often used since the first night he helped her through a nightmare.

“G’night daddy” she mumbled in her sleepy daze, settling back to sleep. Charlie was taken off guard as the new title fell from her mouth. He felt his heart explode and wiped a tear that fell from his eyes.

“Sleep tight Princess” he sniffled, clearing his throat and kissing the top of her head. He pulled another blanket over her frame as she often got cold in the middle of the night. It amazed Riley how much Charlie knew of her daughter despite the amount of time he had been present in their lives. They softly shut the door behind them and walked hand in hand to their room. “Planning the wedding is going to be fun”

“I was thinking we do it in Dieppe or Moncton” Riley suggested, something to which Charlie lit up at. He looked at her with wide eyes in disbelief.

“If you’re pulling an Emerson on me right now, I’m going to be so mad” they had come up with the term ‘pulling an Emerson’ to describe the sarcasm they often received from the little girl. But Charlie became overjoyed as Riley bit her lip and shook her head, confirming that she did in fact want to get married in his hometown.

“We start planning tomorrow”

A/N: if you really want a wedding scene or a glimpse of life after the wedding let me know!

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie imagines #fanfiction #imagine #owen joyner

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mirohlixie · 3 years

Text

Never Enough (Hyunlix) Pt. 4

Pairing: Felix x Hyunjin Word Count: 2.1K Genre: AU, love, dystopia

Synopsis: In a world where being different from the conventional gender and sexuality rules means death, the gay youngster Felix struggles to hide his true sexuality. He is doing well until he meets Hyunjin, an undercover hitman hired by the government to get rid of all the "different" people in hiding. The moment the two meet each other, both of their lives change forever, but will it be enough?

Content warnings: AU, homophobia, discrimination against LGBTQ+, explicit language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that one day at Felix’s house, the two met up a lot more than they did before. They grew more and more comfortable being in each other’s presence and the awkward silences dissipated. It felt normal, like they’d been friends for years instead for only weeks.

They hung out at Felix’s house often, but also went elsewhere. Never to Hyunjin’s place, though. He’d come up with an excuse to keep Felix away from there, since he didn’t want him to see his mother like this. Worst case scenario, he would put two and two together.

Felix had no idea, though. He didn’t question it so much, because he didn’t want to make Hyunjin uncomfortable asking too many questions. It didn’t matter that much, anyway. As long as they had a good time together, he wasn’t going to complain about anything. He was already happy to have found a new friend.

Today they were sat in a booth at the most popular diner in town. They’d gone on a walk and gotten hungry, so decided to get a burger and some fries for dinner before heading home again.

It was pretty chill and the both of them were just talking and laughing as they ate, not really caring about the people around them. Now and then they checked to see if they were getting any weird looks, but so far people seemed to think they were just friends. Like we are, Felix thought to himself. We are just friends and we will be just that until… He didn’t wanna think about the end of that sentence. For now they were friends.

“I like this burger,” Hyunjin said, taking another large bite of the food. There was some ketchup in the corner of his mouth and Felix thought it looked adorable. Hyunjin’s face was so flawless otherwise and seeing this small blemish on it reminded him of seeing a little baby that has their food around their mouth.

“Mine’s pretty good too,” Felix commented, dipping a fry in ketchup. “I love the food they serve here, it’s all amazing,” Hyunjin nodded in agreement. He was poking at his half-eaten burger as he listened to Felix talk.

“If you think about it, life is kind of like fast food,” Felix started, not sure why he was even starting this analogy.

“How so?” Hyunjin asked, looking up at the freckled boy.

“Well, you start the road hungry and longing for the food, and then when it’s finally presented to you, you eat it fast and a lot of it, because you’re scared you won’t be able to still your hunger fast enough,” he explained. “But when you’re finished you feel gross and like you’ve eaten too much too fast. You should’ve enjoyed it more and taken more time, but you didn’t because you were too eager,” Felix concluded. “You’re eager to start life as a baby, then when you get the chance you live it to the fullest and forget to enjoy every moment. You wanna make sure you utilize every minute, but forget to cherish it. When your life is over, you have regrets because even though you had so much time, you didn’t do all the things you wanted to do, and even if you did, you didn’t enjoy them,” he stuffed another fry in his mouth before he could say more.

“Woah,” Hyunjin said, looking genuinely surprised.

“That was dumb, I’m sorry,” Felix said, looking down at his food in embarrassment. “I ramble too much.”

“No, no,” Hyunjin stopped him. “You don’t, it actually makes a lot of sense. You’re right. People are often so scared of not having enough time that they forget to enjoy every single moment. They are so obsessed with being practical that they forget to stop and look around every now and then. Just climbing that mountain in one go without looking back, or around them and when they reach the top they realize they’re exhausted and didn’t get to enjoy the climb,” Felix’s mouth fell open.

“Woah, that was a lot more impressive than mine,” he chuckled quietly. “I compared life to a hamburger and here you are pulling out a whole mountain climbing analogy,” Hyunjin blushed a little, looking at his hands, which Felix found adorable. “I loved it.”

“Really?” Hyunjin asked, snapping his head up.

“Definitely,” Felix said. “You should write lyrics. I’m sure you’d be great at it.”

“I doubt I’m as good as you,” Hyunjin chuckled.

“Everyone is better than me,” Felix argued.

“False, you’re the best.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” Hyunjin wasn’t ready to give up whatsoever, Felix noticed, so he frowned.

“Hmph,” he said, pushing his bottom lip forward and pouting.

“Did you just hmph at me?” Hyunjin brought out a breathy laugh.

“Seems like it,” Felix muttered in disdain, wanting the older boy to just agree with him instead of arguing.

“Adorable,” Hyunjin said, smirking a little before grabbing another fry and dipping it in the ketchup. Felix looked at him with a bit of shock. He hadn’t expected that for an answer and clearly Hyunjin hadn’t expected to say it out loud. In his hurry to move on from this conversation, he accidentally knocked over the little bowl with ketchup in it, making it splatter against his white sweater.

“Fuck,” the older boy cursed, grabbing a napkin and staring at the drops of red sauce decorating the white wool.

“Don’t wipe it,” Felix quickly said. “It’ll only make it worse!”

“This is my favourite sweater,” Hyunjin said dramatically. “And now it’s all ruined, oh no!” He pouted as he carefully dabbed at the fabric, making Felix giggle a little.

“What are you laughing at?” Hyunjin questioned with a fake-strict tone. “Are you making fun of me?”

“No, no,” Felix quickly recovered. “I’m not I-”

“This is tragic,” Hyunjin continued. “My favourite sweater is spotted with ketchup and there’s nothing I can do to save it right now. This is a disaster, Lee!” His dramatic performance made the whole situation even more laughable and only seconds later the two were wheezing.

People surrounding them gave them weird looks as they took deep breaths, trying to recover from this moment. Felix took a large sip from his coke as Hyunjin wiped his face with the napkin. His face had been splattered with ketchup too in the process and the two simply hadn’t noticed due to the sweater incident.

“Ready to head home?” Felix asked, clearing off the table by putting the trash and leftovers away. “I’m sure I can find something to fix your sweater,” he looked up at Hyunjin, hoping he’d take up on the offer. He really wanted to spend even more time with him. Just the diner and the walk hadn’t been enough, he craved more time with his new friend.

“That would be amazing,” Hyunjin sighed in relief. “I don’t think we have anything at home that could fix this mess,” he looked at Felix and for a moment the latter saw the same hopeful glace the he’d just had a second ago. He nodded and grabbed Hyunjin’s sleeve, pulling on it gently.

“C’mon, let’s go then,” they walked back to Felix’s home, in hopes they could fix the mess that was Hyunjin’s sweater at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You house is kind of starting to feel like my second home,” Hyunjin commented as he walked into Felix’s house. He knew his parents well enough now and the same went for his siblings. Despite being absolutely ignorant, they were pretty nice. However, he found it sad that none of them would accept their son for who he really was if they’d find out.

But then again, he used to be like that too. He used to think these moles were the worst thing ever, and yet here he was hanging out with one on a daily base. He was nice, he wasn’t so different from the rest.

On second thought, yes, he was different from the rest. Felix was far superior to anyone Hyunjin had ever met. He was friendly, nice, funny, sweet and also beautiful. He was the purest person he’d ever had the chance to encounter. That really put things into perspective. Why judge someone for who they fall in love with, when it’s truly their character that matters? Why would you want this sweet boy dead when there’s so many murderers in the world? Then again, Hyunjin was a murderer himself. Not yet, but would be soon enough.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Felix said, smiling. “It doesn’t feel weird to have your around, almost natural,” the two sprinted upstairs, like they always did. Felix’s parents didn’t even question it anymore. They were so used to having Hyunjin over. “C’mon, sit down on the ledge of the bath,” Felix said as he dragged the taller boy into the bathroom. Hyunjin obeyed and sat down as he waited for the younger boy to work his magic on his beloved sweater.

He’d been dramatic back in the diner – something he was known for – but he’d really been sad about his sweater. It was his favourite after all. Felix came back with some stuff that looked like some kind of detergent and a clean cloth.

“I’m going to carefully dab this onto the stains,” Felix said before kneeling in front of Hyunjin. This was a new position for Hyunjin and he wasn’t used to having the boy this close to him in such a way. He tilted his head back slightly as Felix leaned even closer with the cloth in his hand, slowly dabbing the detergent onto the stains. He clearly hadn’t noticed their proximity as he was too focused on what he was doing.

“Almost there,” he mumbled, taking care of the last few spots as he worked his way up to the collar, where the very last drops had reached. Hyunjin had a very hard time moving his face away and could now smell Felix really well.

He smelled amazing; he’d never smelled anything like it before. He tried to be subtle about the smelling but that was hard. One wrong move and their faces would touch.

“Gotta be more careful next time,” Felix said as he turned his face up towards the taller boy. He clearly hadn’t expected to be this close to him, as he audibly inhaled and held that breath.

For a moment they sat there, eye to eye. None of them said anything, scared of saying the wrong thing, or making a wrong move. Hyunjin studied Felix’s face. His cheeks flushed pink as his brown eyes stay trained on his own. The freckles on his cheeks and nose were even more defined than they were from a distance and his hair fell in his eyes a little. He was the most beautiful human Hyunjin had ever seen from up-close. Then, after what felt like hours, Felix averted his gaze.

“Should’ve just let you take it off, that would’ve been easier,” he muttered, cheeks still flushed. The statement seemed to have more than one meaning, assuming from the way he’d said it.

“Maybe I should,” Hyunjin agreed. “May be easier anyway,” Felix nodded and Hyunjin took off his sweater, leaving him in a tanktop. He felt a little exposed as his eyes darted around the room. When he finally calmed down a little, he found Felix’s eyes resting on him. He bit his lip nervously, as his eyes scanned the figure in front of him. When he noticed that Hyunjin had caught him, he nervously looked at his feet, his face bright red.

Felix got up from his kneeling position, getting ready to walk away, probably to get rid of the tension. Hyunjin felt the cold air hit his bare arms, feeling like any kind of warmth he’d once felt was taken from him when Felix got up.

Without thinking, or even registering what he was doing, his hand shot up and grabbed Felix arm. The boy looked up in surprise and before either of then noticed what was happening, Hyunjin had pulled him back towards him, smashing his lips against the younger boy’s.

He heard a gasp from Felix’s lips, but it was only a brief one. Quickly after, his soft lips melted together with Hyunjin’s and they got caught in a kiss that was more intense than anything either of them had ever experienced.

Felix fell down to his knees and draped his arms around Hyunjin’s neck as the latter’s wrapped themselves around Felix’s small waist.

For a moment they didn’t care about anything in the world. All they perceived was the sparks igniting deep inside them as their lips touched. It was everything and more.

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the-cult-of-russo · 3 years

Text

Push and Pull (Part 9)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OC

Warnings: cursing, mentions of injury etc.

--------

What she thought would be a small nap turned into sleeping until the next morning. When Daphne woke up, she didn't move as her eyes fluttered open. Every inch of her hurt like a bitch and her shock had turned to anger. She could hear a whispering coming from behind her in the kitchen area and she stayed completely still as she listened.

"Jesus christ, Matt. When you told me what happened I didn't expect for her to look like she was mauled by a goddamn bear!" Foggy hissed frantically, trying to keep his voice low.

"I told you she was attacked," Matt started, his voice quieter and calmer than his friends.

"I know you did, but have you seen her? What did that asshole do to her?" Foggy honestly sounded like he was about to have an aneurism. She heard a sigh that came from Matt.

"Look, Foggy-" he tried, only to be interrupted again.

"Don't 'look Foggy' me. This shit is insane! And you said Brett hasn't even found the dude yet!" Foggy hissed again. Her heart dropped at that news. He must have left before the cops got there.

"I know but there isn't much we can do-" he was once again cut off by a panicked Foggy.

"There's a knife-wielding dad killer out there, Matt! He's insane. This whole thing is just… she could have died!" If she was honest, it touched her a little by how upset Foggy was by all of this. He seemed to be taking this friend thing seriously.

"I'm well aware," Matt stated plainly. He sounded like he was starting to get irritated.

"Oh, you're well aware. How great. Are you even concerned at all? I'm over here having a damn panic attack and you're just chill! Were you not even worried when she turned up here half dead?!" Foggy glowered accusingly.

"Of course I was worried, Foggy! I didn't even know how bad it was or if I'd be able to help her! I didn't sleep at all last night just to make sure she was breathing!" She didn't know how to feel about him watching over her like that. She hadn't expected that kindness. She hadn't even done that for him when he got shot.

"Quit your goddamn lecture because now isn't the time to talk about this!" Matt hissed harshly.

"Why the hell not?!" Foggy demanded.

"Because she's awake," Matt answered tensely.

Busted. She didn't know what tipped him off. She wondered if it was how her breathing changed when she woke and throughout their whispered argument or her heartbeat. Either way was creepy. She opted not to say anything and she honestly didn't think she could sit up unassisted with the pain she was in. She heard footsteps coming to the living area and Foggy plonked down in the chair. She was expecting a fake smile on his face with a cheerful greeting but she was met by a worried glance and silence. She didn't like it.

"Here. Coffee, toast and some pain meds," Matt murmured softly as he set the things on the coffee table. Then without her even having to ask, he helped her to sit. She groaned, gripping her wound on her lower abdomen as the stitches jolted.

"Motherfucker," she moaned with a frown. She didn't think she'd ever been this banged up before.

"Sorry. Try not to move too much. It'll be easier once you've had the pills," Matt said carefully. She nodded, grabbing the pills and washing them down with the coffee that was still kind of hot. She didn't know how Matt knew she liked cream and sugar but she couldn't care less right then.

"Brett didn't find him?" She bit out. It only caused her anger to swell. This asshole murdered his own father, a good man that didn't deserve this. She didn't even care about her attack in the grand scheme of things. She needed justice for Mr Lee. Matt sighed heavily, wiping a hand over his face. Foggy finally decided to speak.

"When they got to the scene, he was gone. But they're processing it which is good and they've got people looking for him. With your evidence and statement, once they catch him he's as good as locked up," Foggy stated sounding confident. More confident than the frantic whispering from the kitchen. She just nodded again. She really hoped they'd find the asshole.

"You need to eat. You lost a lot of blood and you need to heal," Matt uttered as he pushed the plate of toast towards her more. She felt sick and she really wasn't hungry. But she refused to lay about feeling sorry for herself. She wanted to heal ASAP so she reluctantly ate a few pieces of the toast. The silence as she ate was unbearable, like no one knew what to say as the heaviness weighed on them. Weirdly enough she found herself somewhat happy she wasn't on her own right then.

"I need to get to the station, drop my shit off and give my statement," she sighed once she was done, wiping the crumbs from her hands.

"Might wanna get changed first," Foggy teased weakly. She glanced down for the first time and blanched. Her shirt was ripped to shreds and was soaked in blood. She didn't know how she was even functioning with how much blood she must have lost. Her jeans were also blood stained although the brunt of it was taken by her shirt.

"You can have something of mine," Matt said softly as he stood. She watched him as he opened the door to his room. She'd be impressed by how easy he navigated his home but she'd seen him fight. The stick was just an act for everyone else's benefit. He might not see like everyone else but he saw things in his own way.

He came back a moment later with some black sweat pants and a black t-shirt. They'd be big but she'd cope. She just wanted to see Brett.

"Thanks," she shot him a weary smile that he returned as she took them. When she went to stand, she made a pained noise, squeezing her eyes shut. This would be hard. Foggy jumped up though, she wondered if he just felt like he needed to do something. To be helpful.

"Come on, I'll walk you to the bathroom," he smiled. He helped her stand and she was unsteady to her feet. With his help she managed to make it to the bathroom. She closed the door once she got in and listened to Foggy retreat back to Matt in the living room.

She gasped when she saw her reflection. She knew it would be bad but this wasn't what she expected. The left side of her face was a giant bruise, her cheekbone swollen. She had a split lip and hand prints around her throat. Her arms had numerous small slices and she knew her chest had a couple too as well as the deep gash on her stomach. She looked like she stepped right off the set of a horror movie. She wasn't surprised that Foggy freaked out when he saw her. At first she felt sad. Knowing she would scar, that Mr Lee's psycho spawn had marked her forever. A reminder of how she'd failed him because she was a self absorbed bitch. But then her anger flared. Matt’s words from the day before were on a loop in her brain like a mantra. Even if she had told Mr Lee, this would have happened. And she held the evidence to help put the prick away. Maybe the only reason she crossed paths with Mr Lee was so she could make sure he got justice.

After gathering herself, she realised she had a problem. She could barely function, let alone undress and get changed. She loathed asking anyone for help but she wasn't stubborn enough to hurt herself more by trying. Heaving a sigh, she shuffled over and opened the door.

"Uh… I need some help," she murmured with a grimace. She felt so awkward. Foggy was a new friend that she was trying to adjust to and Matt was… well he was Matt. But she was grateful for everything he'd done for her. And now they were even and she could close that chapter and hoped neither of them would need the other’s help after this.

"What do you need?" Foggy asked as he came into view, Matt trailing behind him.

"I can't… I can't get undressed. Or dressed," she snorted ruefully, gesturing to the bundle of clothes in her arms. Foggy's eyes widened and he glanced from her to Matt.

"I-I can help… if you need me to-" he started looking uncomfortable but she shook her head to stop him.

"At the risk of sounding like a bitch, Matt’s blind so… I'd kinda feel better if he helped me," she said carefully.

Matt swallowed thickly with a nod as Foggy looked relieved.

"Great! I mean… okay. I'll just…" he scurried off back to the living area and she snorted softly at him. Matt stayed silent as he walked inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him for privacy. It still wasn't ideal. He couldn't see with his eyes but he wasn't a typical blind person. But it was better than nothing.

"I'll try to be careful but this might hurt a little," he muttered apologetically. She nodded as he took the clothes from her and set them by the sink.

He made good on his promise to be careful as he expertly manoeuvred her shirt over her head with minimal pain. She was starting to feel uncomfortable with the weird silence dangling over them as he worked on her jeans.

"What's the mirror for? I mean you can't see so…" it came out much worse than it sounded in her head and she mentally facepalmed. She didn't know why it was so hard to just be civil with him. It was much easier being a bitch. She was caught off guard when he let out a surprised laugh.

"That sounded better in my head. I promise I'm not actually trying to be a bitch," she huffed a laugh of her own.

"It's fine. It's a valid question. Foggy made me get it, he's always trying to get me to put stuff in here for when he visits. He's been trying to get me to get a TV," he grinned up at her as he tugged her jeans down her legs.

"I think he just wants you to buy it so he doesn't have to," she mused playfully.

"That's what I said," he chuckled.

She was suddenly aware she was standing in her underwear and she was grateful he couldn't see her blush. When did she blush? She wasn't shy of the opposite sex. She rolled her eyes at herself as Matt helped her step into his sweatpants. She at least was capable of tightening the drawstrings so they didn't slip off. She winced a little as he manoeuvred the shirt over her head. It was a little big but it was way better than her now ruined one. Next he helped her with her boots.

"There you go," he gave her a hesitant smile and she swallowed thickly.

"Thanks… for this and… saving my life," she murmured sincerely. He nodded, pursing his lips a little.

"Like you said last night, now we're even," he smirked.

"Yeah, except I didn't keep vigil when you slept," she pointed out. Maybe she was feeling more like herself today since she noticed he looked down, seemingly caught off guard. He probably hoped she hadn't heard that part.

"You were in pretty bad shape. I couldn't sleep and I figured I'd just make sure you were still breathing," he shrugged as he opened the door

"Careful, Devilboy. It's starting to sound like you care. What do you think we are? Friends?" She asked with a sly smirk. He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her to help her walk into the living area.

"Something like that," he replied quietly.

"You look a lot better. More 'wearing my boyfriends clothes' than 'murder scene chic'," Foggy beamed at her. She snorted and rolled her eyes. She knew she still probably looked weird wearing Matt’s clothes and her boots but they were comfy honestly. Besides, nothing would stick out as much as her injuries. She watched as Foggy slung her backpack over his shoulder so she didn't have to carry it and she almost jumped when a hoodie was suddenly presented to her by Matt. He helped her into it but she left it unzipped. It was cozy and soft.

She was anxious now to see Brett and she watched with little patience as the boys got ready to leave. She didn't remember when Matt changed from his own sweats to his lawyer suit. It was Sunday and this wasn't really work and she wondered if he always wore a suit when he wasn't at home or if we just worked all the time. Matt slipped his glasses on and grabbed his cane before walking over. He linked his arm with her and she wondered how funny it would look when they went outside. Both of them were patient as they went down the stairs with her and she was grateful as they took turns to help her. She hated feeling so dependent on anyone and she couldn't wait to hurry up and heal.

"Thank Jesus," she breathed once they got outside. It felt like it took ten hours to get down the stairs.

"I prefer to go by Foggy most days. But it's Sunday so I'll allow it," Foggy grinned teasingly. She let out an elegant snort.

"Blasphemous," Matt tutted with a wry smirk. She wasn't sure now what the plan was. She struggled to walk on her own completely but knew Matt usually held Foggy's arm. She just stood there waiting for a cue on what to do. She watched as Matt readied his cane and then he glanced at her, extending his arm for her to link her own. She smiled gratefully, linking her arm and using him as an anchor to steady herself.

"Alright, off to the station we go. I should've brought snacks, this'll take a while," Foggy murmured thoughtfully.

She wasn't sure how long it took them to walk to the station but it was longer than she'd like. But once again they were patient and Matt had been steady as he walked beside her, guiding her which she found ironic. Foggy held open the door for them as they got there.

"Ladies first," he shot Matt a sly smirk and Matt scoffed as he shot his head.

"I'm sorry, please tell us what your favourite show is again?" Matt retorted. Foggy squinted at him as they walked through the door.

"The real housewives of Beverly Hills is interesting and entertaining!" Foggy defended firmly. She had to purse her lips to stop herself from laughing.

"Holy shit, D! What in the fresh hell?" the voice snapped her out of the surprisingly chill moment she was having with the wonder twins as Brett stormed over. He was looking at every inch of her with concern etched on his features and she gave him a careful smile.

"Asshole really did a number on me," she replied ruefully. She didn't want it made into a bigger deal than it was. The focus wasn't about her but Mr Lee instead.

"You're telling me," he muttered, raking his teeth over his lower lip.

"Any word?" Matt asked firmly. His no nonsense lawyer voice on. The heaving sigh that left Brett's lips told her no.

"No yet but we got eyes out looking for him. Don’t worry, we'll get him," he gave her a meaningful look and she nodded gratefully.

"I've got all the pictures in my bag. You want me to give my statement now?" She asked softly. Foggy passed the backpack to Brett who called another cop over to take it.

"Yeah. Get it done now and then you can rest while we find this asshole," he affirmed. She took a shaky step forward on her own and Matt hovered over her like he was ready to catch her. Brett moved over and linked his arm with hers.

"I got it from here. You boys can go on home, I'll drive her home when we're done," Brett said as he started walking with her.

"Thanks guys," she smiled over her shoulder. Foggy grinned at her and Matt just sent her a solemn nod. They'd actually had decent interactions for once. Maybe it was because she was injured. She wasn't on top form to be such a bitch and maybe he felt bad. She did appreciate him saving her ass even if it was to pay her back.

#matt murdock x oc #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock #daredevil x oc #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil

17 notes · View notes

taeyongdoyoung · 3 years

Photo

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire! human ravn x reader

side characters: seoho, xion, non-binary oc named robin inspired by the wonderful @byccn 💜

genre: vampire!au, romance, humour, FLUFF

warnings: i don’t think there are any?? just sweet tooth-rotting fluff, some biting, a few shakespeare references, some swear words and a lot of cheesy lines, i mean, they’re eating pizza in italy and it’s valentine’s day soo...

word count: 2.3k

author’s note: the final chapter of twilight has arrived, i just want to thank you all so much for embarking on this journey with me, for reading it and for leaving your comments, it truly feels like the end of an era but i hope everyone enjoyed reading my story as much as i enjoyed writing it, i don’t know what else to say other than “parting is such sweet sorrow” 🥺🥺💞💞

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part five 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part nine 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙part twelve

You felt like you were dreaming but no matter how many times you pinched yourself, you didn’t wake up, because this was reality. Ravn was safe and sleeping soundly, his arms wrapped around you. And he was so warm you’d have a difficult time getting used to it. But it didn’t matter, because you loved him for him and that was all that mattered. You ran a gentle hand through his dark hair. He was still so beautiful, still so soft, still your Ravn. And despite the fact that he, too, was mortal now, you had the strange feeling you had all the time in the world. And in a way, it was true. You were so far away from any dangers that this newfound sense of freedom seemed eternal.

“Are you watching me sleep?” Ravn murmured curiously.

You attempted to withdraw your hand, but his reflexes were still fast enough to catch you.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he opened his eyes and smiled at you fondly.

“I just can’t believe this. You’re alive,” you pointed out.

Ravn chuckled.

“Me neither. I’ve wished for this for so long that now when it actually happened it seems unreal.”

“Well, no use questioning it, let’s just enjoy ourselves,” you quickly kissed his lips and intended to get out of bed to brush your teeth, but Ravn stopped you by holding onto your hand and pulling you close.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He kissed you once more, this time more deeply and not willing to let go.

“Mmm, Ravn, darling…” you tried to argue.

“Stay a bit longer,” he pleaded sweetly.

“You’re impossible to resist,” you laughed and started kissing his neck, occasionally biting him gently, which amused him immensely.

“Oh, no, I’ve corrupted you entirely,” Ravn wailed.

You rolled your eyes and pressed your hands against his cheeks.

“I love you,” you said seriously.

“I would not wish any companion in the world but you,” Ravn replied and your eyes filled with happy tears.

“My favourite Shakespeare nerd,” you stroked his chin.

“Am I not the only Shakespeare nerd you know?” he challenged.

“Well, he will never admit it, but Seoho is secretly as much of a Shakespeare enthusiast as we are,” you joked.

“But you like me more, right?” he had to make sure.

“Of course, silly, is this even a question?”

“Let’s get up and annoy him about it, then!” Ravn suggested excitedly.

“Unbelievable,” you giggled and sneaked out of his arms. “Bathroom’s mine first!”

Ravn hurriedly chased you but to your complete amazement, you beat him to it. Now that he was human, too, it was all fair and square.

“Come on, sweetheart, let me in!” Ravn complained, knocking on the door.

You smirked triumphantly as you were putting toothpaste on your new brush.

“What will I get out of this?” you bargained, suddenly remembering one of your initial encounters. It felt like a century ago.

“More kisses? My undying affection? Anything you wish, I just really need to…”

You quickly opened the door upon hearing the desperation in his voice. He was only human, after all, the thought making you laugh.

“Thank you!” Ravn rushed inside. He was obviously on a mission.

A couple of minutes later, you were both out of the bathroom and dressing up for the day.

“Being a human is so hard,” he complained. “So many needs.”

“Come on, you’ve been human before,” you reminded him.

“How do you deal with all this?” Ravn asked, overwhelmed by everything new.

“It’s just life, I guess,” you shrugged. “Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it soon enough. And I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Unless when you lock me out of the bathroom,” he teased you.

“A mistake I won’t repeat again,” you chuckled. “We’ll have to share.”

“I can live with that,” he winked. “For the rest of my life.”

These were words you’d never expected to hear and yet, they’d somehow turned into the much needed reality.

🌙🌙🌙

“Now that Ravn’s human, you won’t say stuff like ‘all humans are trash’, will you, Seoho?” you joked over breakfast as you were spreading jam over a slice of bread.

“Unfortunately, I’ve been forced to change my mindset,” Seoho groaned and added under his breath. “Ugh, humans.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Ravn scolded him.

“I thought your super hearing was gone?” Seoho asked awkwardly.

“It is, but I can still hear shit,” he punched his friend playfully.

“Fine, fine, I’ll try not to be a dick.”

“Thank you very much,” you said. “I’m thinking of checking out the local bookshops today. Ravn, do you want to come with?”

“You know it,” he gave you a high five.

“Seoho, do you want to join us?” you offered politely, because after all, if it hadn’t been for Seoho’s magical abilities, you probably wouldn’t be here, in Verona, alive.

“So I can watch you lick each other’s faces between the bookshelves? I’ll pass,” Seoho scoffed.

“Hey, if it makes you uncomfortable, we’ll stop doing it in front of you,” you promised.

“Nah, it’s fine. I have other plans, anyways.”

“You do?” Ravn eyed him suspiciously.

“I’m not telling you anything,” Seoho finished his juice, got up from the table and grabbed his jacket. “Have fun, nerds!”

Before you could register where he was going, Seoho had teleported himself out of the room.

“Okay, that was weird,” you pointed out.

“Definitely. We’ll grill him for more information when he comes back,” Ravn vowed. “But for now, let’s finish our human breakfast and explore the town.”

“It would be my honour,” you smiled.

🌙🌙🌙

Seoho’s POV

Was I being too obvious? I knew that sooner or later I’d have to inform Ravn and Y/N what this was about, but I didn’t want to jinx it. After all, there wasn’t much to tell. Not yet, at least. The truth was that yesterday when I’d gone to buy pizza and pancakes for my friends, I’d seen someone that grabbed my attention rightaway. They had beautiful short hair, a vibrant smile and they were selling ice-cream. At the time, I couldn’t muster up the courage to talk to them, even though I was usually confident and carefree. There was something special about this person. And despite my previous distrust of humans, I realized I could no longer be so prejudiced about them. My best friend was now human and his girlfriend had proved me wrong countless times. Maybe it was because I was in a new town, where no one knew me. Maybe it was because after almost losing Ravn, I had realized that life was too short and precious and I had to make each day count. I don’t know what exactly came over me but when I lied to my friends about having plans, I decided I want to see the person selling ice-cream again. And this time, I would talk to them.

Luckily, I was good at finding my way around. I quickly remembered where the pizza place was and that the ice-cream stand was right around the corner. I felt a bit nervous, but I knew that I had nothing to lose, so I approached it. They were there. The minute I saw their smile I forgot everything that I had planned I would say. How I wanted to play it cool and tell them I really like their style and their hair and…Before I could open my mouth, they’d spotted me and spoke first.

“Hi, would you like to order some ice-cream?” were the cheerful first words they said to me.

“Um, hi, yeah, what would you recommend?” I asked.

“My personal favourite is chocolate,” they replied.

“Alright, then, I’ll have that.”

“Sure thing,” they smiled and started scooping up a ball of chocolate ice-cream as I placed the money on the table. Now was my chance to say something dumb or remain silent and regret it forever. Or I could just come back again tomorrow. I wouldn’t do that, right?

🌙🌙🌙

I was a fool. I did come back again the following day. And the day after. I came back to that ice-cream place every day for two whole weeks, without succeeding to say much to the person I was obviously crushing on, other than the usual small talk surrounding the process of buying ice-cream. I tried all the different flavours until one day the unimaginable happened.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow,” I murmured instead of goodbye.

“Actually, I won’t be here tomorrow,” they responded sadly. “You see, this was just a summer job for me and I’m going back to college so I won’t have time to work.”

“Oh, I see,” I replied dumbly. “Well, in that case…”

“Can I get your number?” they beat me to it. “Or at least your name?”

Internally, I was screaming with joy. Externally, I attempted to maintain a perfectly composed expression.

“Seoho,” I said, already writing down my phone number on a napkin. “And yours?”

“Robin,” they chuckled. “Wow, you’re so old-fashioned, you could have just typed it in.”

I shrugged and handed them the silly napkin.

“Better not lose it,” I warned them.

“No worries, I’ll treasure it forever.”

“Well, technically, the ink will probably wear off with time…”

“Wow, way to kill the mood,” Robin laughed and I could swear, I would never get tired of that beautiful sound.

“Sorry,” I looked down apologetically.

“I can’t help but wonder what took you so long?” they further amazed me with such a straightforward question.

“Um, I’m shy?”

“Me too, but it had to be done,” Robin winked.

In that moment, I had already made up my mind. Maybe humans weren’t so bad after all…

🌙🌙🌙

One year later

You were sitting next to your fiancé, holding hands under the table at a pizza restaurant because you didn’t want your engagement rings to show. You intended to surprise your friends Seoho and Robin and had kept it a secret for a while. A week had passed since Ravn proposed to you. He had booked plane tickets to Paris for a weekend getaway and what you thought was simply a short vacation turned into the best moment of your life. Forever the romantic, Ravn had completely amazed you with the unexpected question. An evening walk alongside the Seine River and under the city lights, French music playing all around…You had been so overwhelmed by positive emotions that you burst into tears before managing to respond. Ravn had gotten worried that he’d upset you and you’d somehow succeeded in letting him know you were happy crying and that of course you’d marry him. It felt like a dream come true.

As you were waiting for your friends to arrive, you and Ravn exchanged a knowing look.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Born ready,” you replied, completely certain of your feelings for him.

He squeezed your hand in support and soon after, your friends showed up.

“Hi, darling,” you hugged Robin tightly. “Seoho.”

“We have news,” Ravn announced directly.

“Can it wait?” Seoho inquired. “We kinda have a surprise that’s waiting outside.”

“Oh? You got us a puppy?” you asked, guessing wrongly.

“Nah, it’s not a puppy,” Seoho chuckled. “Much better, actually.”

“Come on, tell us already!” Ravn insisted.

“Okay, stay here, I’ll get the surprise rightaway. Robin, keep them occupied.”

Robin rolled their eyes.

“So bossy,” they complained affectionately after Seoho was out of earshot. “Anyways, how have you two been?”

“Splendid,” you squealed. “We can’t wait to tell you the big news, but apparently Seoho’s going to steal our thunder.”

“Yeah, so rude of him,” Ravn joked.

“Oh, trust me, it’ll be worth it,” Robin promised, already aware of who was standing outside.

“It better be,” you laughed.

As soon as you’d said that, Seoho returned, holding a young-looking guy you’d never seen before under his arm. The first thing you noticed was his pale skin that looked so out of place next to Seoho’s flushed cheeks. And your limited experience led you to the conclusion that this was probably a vampire.

“X-xion,” Ravn stammered in shock and quickly rushed to get up and hug his friend he hadn’t seen in way too long, completely forgetting about the secret you were supposed to hide under the table.

“It’s been a while,” Xion replied. “Sorry for showing up unannounced…but I wanted to see you.”

“Of course, it’s not a problem,” Ravn reassured him. “This is Y/N, my…fiancée,” he introduced you, dropping the other big surprise for the evening.

“HOLY SHIT,” Robin exclaimed, finally noticing the rings. “Congratulations!”

Seoho didn’t seem shocked at all, the magical bastard had probably read your thoughts a long time ago.

“T-thanks,” you murmured nervously. “And it’s really nice to meet you, Xion. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

He shook your hand awkwardly and smiled.

“So, what brings you here?” Ravn asked his friend.

“Well, Seoho mentioned about…you know…how Y/N and you…and how you’re no longer…you know.”

“It’s okay, Xion,” Robin chuckled. “Seoho told me everything about the supernatural world, you don’t need to speak in riddles.”

The vampire scratched the back of his head bashfully.

“And like, I was wondering if it was possible for this miracle to happen to me, too. So I came to ask for advice.”

“You want to be human, too?” Ravn inquired. “Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”

You gave your fiancé and Xion an encouraging smile.

“There’s nothing I’d like more,” he confessed openly.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, it’s not like I was planning for this to happen.”

“Anything can be helpful,” Xion pleaded. “Just tell me the whole story. How you met Y/N. How you fell in love. Don’t leave anything out.”

“It’s gonna be a long night,” you teased.

“Well, it all started at twilight…”

The end

#oneus #ravn #ravn x reader #ravn moodboard #twilight #oneus fanfic #kim youngjo #seoho #xion #ravn fluff #romance #vampire au #vampires #writing

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kittybellestark · 3 years

Text

Falling Apart At The Seams

Part 5 of 5

Read on AO3

Read Part 4

this is v dialogue heavy and we officially see Peter again lol

uh this has been great to write and seeing y’alls reactions has been cool

Trigger warning: discussions of past rape, self-blaming and insecurities

What happened with Mary was kept out of the news.

Tony was grateful for it. Had the news gotten what had happened to him- Tony really didn’t want to think of it. But he was grateful. It was only the Avengers he needed to deal with. Just the Avengers and Peter. His son.

He had a son. A whole full grown child that he was forced to create.

At least he already knew Peter. It’s not like he was some stranger. They already had something of a relationship. This wasn’t the first meeting, they weren’t starting from scratch. Well okay, they might be starting over but it’s not like Tony and Peter are complete strangers.

Tony had heard that Peter was already aware of what had happened. It should have been Tony who told Peter what happened, but he was glad that May did it first. With Mary’s confession in front of Peter and then May going to talk to Tony there was just too much going through Peter’s head that May needed to say something. Leaving him waiting for an explanation when he already knew half the story would have only caused Peter more harm.

It was selfish of Tony to be grateful that he didn’t need to explain anything to Peter, not anything in depth. He knew they’d need to talk about things eventually, but explaining why he was Peter father wasn’t something Tony stomach at the moment. They can talk about their relations without bringing up the why. For now, at least.

For a week Tony didn’t leave him room. He needed a week to get all his thoughts together, in a place no one other than Pepper or Rhodey would bother him, in a somewhat safe place. The week let him look at pictures of Peter, watching footage of the two of them in the lab before everything. It let Tony think through things, how he should approach Peter and what he should say. The time in his room was necessary. It gave him the smallest feeling of being safe and that was a win.

But Tony didn’t feel all that safe.

Tony knew Pepper was right when they spoke last week. But knowing that she’s right doesn’t stop him from feeling everything he’s done has been wrong. Logically it made sense, that Tony wasn’t at fault for any of it. Had the roles been changed, had it been Rhodey instead of Tony, Tony knew he would be saying the same things as Pepper. Unfortunately, it’s just too personal. Not that Rhodey isn’t personal, but there’s a difference between it happening to your friend and yourself. Logic doesn’t work when you’re brain forgets what logic is.

He wasn’t sure how to connect with Peter anymore. It seemed that once Peter received the label ‘son,’ Tony wasn’t able to go about things like he used to. The alarm bells in his head would start going off when he’d classify Peter as his child and panic would start to rise. It wasn’t fair to Peter, that Tony was hiding in his room trying to settle himself into everything, but it wouldn’t have been very fair for Peter to watch Tony break into panic attacks either.

The best part of the week, was that Tony didn’t really see Mary in Peter. Not in the pictures he had or in the interactions they had in the lab. Sure, there were certain parts of Peter that resembled Mary, the shape of his lips, the curve of his nose, even his eyebrows. There was a lot more Tony in the way Peter looked though. Peter’s jaw, eyes, smile and hair were all Tony. No doubt about it. So if Tony just focused on the parts of his child that was solely his, then it shouldn’t hurt so much.

“Fri, could you ask Peter down to the lab?” Tony’s voice shook, uncertain if that was the right move, but if entered the lab right after Peter then he could make sure that he is closer to the door in case he needed to leave.

“Are you sure, Boss?”

“Yeah. Tell him I’ll be down right after him.”

Tony waited a few minutes before making his way down to the lab. He could feel his heart pounding erratically. This was... a lot. It’s a lot. Tony just needs to face the truth and not hurt Peter too badly in the process. It’d be better if Peter didn’t get hurt at all but it’s already far too late for that.

He entered the lab, and saw Peter sitting at his own work bench, fiddling with a coiled cable. The teen look exhausted, the positive energy that seemed to follow Peter everywhere was gone. He looked pale and looked as closed off as he used too when they first met.

“Do you call me Mr. Stark because your name used to be Tony?”

That wasn’t how Tony wanted to start the conversation. It wasn’t even something he considered until he entered the lab. This wasn’t even the type of conversation Tony wanted them to have. At least it was a step in the right direction. Talking is better than no talking.

“Oh, um- not at first. Y’know before I met you, I’d only refer to you as Tony Stark, because, obviously. Then calling you Mr. Stark was out of respect, but then getting to know you it felt like it’d be weird to call you Tony because I’ve associated a lot of bad things with that name. I guess I didn’t want to associate those things with you, but it’s a little too late for that, right?”

“You’re allowed to hate me. I knew I had a child, I didn’t know it was you, but I knew there was a kid out there, that was mine. And I ignored you, the idea of a kid because I was too hurt to keep you out of an unsafe situation. So you’re allowed to hate me for that.”

“Wait. You didn’t know that I was your kid?”

Peter put down the cable and Tony sat down on the nearest workbench. The two stayed a few work benches away from each other, enough room to have the much needed separation, yet not far enough to be alone. DUM-E moved from his docking station to Tony’s side, resting it’s arm across his legs. The electronics in the room seemed to hum louder now that there was no other noise to distract from conversation, and the lab just didn’t feel all that safe.

“No, I didn’t know, not until right before you did. Do you know why I ever approached you?” There was a beat of silence before Tony continued. “Of course not, I never told you, not really. Obviously you know I approached you because of Spider-Man, but honestly I hadn’t really paid attention much to your web slinging antics before hand. Then one day this video of you went viral, right? Not you catching a bus or getting attacked by a cat in a tree, not even you getting completely toppled over by that one dog. It was this video of you as Spidey, holding this little girl in your arms. She was crying, and you kept her body covered with this blanket. You held her tight against you, and you started talking about how your babysitter used to hurt you the same way hers was. There were camera’s on you, people videoing this horribly personal moment, and you either didn’t notice, or you didn’t care. You told that little girl that your babysitter raped you, and comforted her, and let her know that good babysitters would never touch a child or anyone like that. Peter you were fourteen at the time, and I hadn’t told anyone what happened to me. That video going viral helped me tell Pepper. She was the only one who knew what happened until I told Rhodey this year.

“Because of you, I was able to tell someone who loved me a whole lot what had happened to me. I felt I had a debt to repay, so I found out who was behind the mask, and it happened to be you, an actual child. I wanted to make sure you were safe and that despite what happened to you with your babysitter, that you’d have a good life going forward and that if you continued being Spider-Man that you would have the best equipment and help on hand.

“I never intended to offer you an internship, or for you to become apart of what I consider to be my family. I genuinely did not know that you were I abandoned. I spent years hating myself, because the whole thing was my fault and then I couldn’t even bring myself to find out who my kid is, where they are, and then take them out of Mary’s care. Every time I tried to bring myself to do it, I couldn’t.

“Because of you Peter, I was able to open up about what happened to me. And because of you, I was able to start healing. It’s shitty of me to have only started to come to terms with everything that happened when you were 14, then start healing when you were 15. I’ve had your whole life to deal with it, and I didn’t. Me being able to heal should have never been put onto you, or knowing you. I should have put in the work and I should have found out who you were when she released me and taken custody of you.”

That was a lot more emotions then Tony was expecting to give all in one go. A lot more truth than he thought he’d tell Peter right away. But, if he was going to do this, try and be someone in Peter’s life that Peter can continue to go to, then this heart-to-heart, this raw honesty is necessary. Peter might hate Tony forever, or choose to not have a relationship with him, but at least they can talk things through.

“I was really angry at you,” Peter started, “when you got back to the tower and Mary was there. I was really angry. She admitted everything, right then and there, probably because I happened to be there. I blamed you for the years of trauma I was caused that I don’t even remember anymore, and every bad thing that happened in my life. My first reaction was to blame you, because suddenly Mary is saying you’re my father, and I don’t really think a DNA test is necessary to prove that. I look like you, I act a bit like you too, the team always joked about it. This was just confirmation. I blamed you though, for everything. I thought it meant you knew exactly who I was to you and that you lied. And I thought that you knew what happened to me before and you chose to stay away. It’s not like you didn’t know you had a kid right? So I thought, ‘he knew he’s my dad so why didn’t he save me.’ Then May talked to me. She reminded me of my own experiences. I had shut down after Skip- uh, I shut down after that. I was eight years old, and I wouldn’t get out from underneath my bed unless I had too. I refused to go to school, I iced out all of my friends, but I still had my aunt and uncle. I had a support system, and therapy and I got to see my rapist go to jail.

“We’re both guys, Mr. Stark. May told me you didn’t tell anyone, because you didn’t think they’d believe you. I don’t tell anyone either, y’know. Yeah, so I was raped by another man, and was also a child, and you were an adult raped by a woman, but people still have that idea that we wanted it, that we could have fought them off. It’s messed up. I dealt with my trauma about it for years, and I had people to go to. You didn’t. I don’t think you could be a father to me, like that, I don’t know if anyone could be if they were in your shoes. It’s a lot to go through, especially when you know that Mary’s goal in all that was me. My existence was her motivation in raping you. I don’t know if anyone could be a good parent, knowing that someone raped them with the intent of having a child. Mary is a horrible person, and she’s done bad things to me and worse things to you, but she’s still my mother, I can’t ever erase that. She wanted me so badly, that she was willing to kidnap and rape you for months on end. Her motivation was me, Mr. Stark. Had she not of been a horrible person who wanted to have a kid she wouldn’t have done what she did to you. But she’s a bad person, who wanted me to exist, and I shouldn’t blame you for trying your best to deal with things on your own because of Mary.”

“Kid, it sounds like you’re trying to blame yourself for something,” Tony sighed. “You didn’t exist then. She wanted a baby, obviously that’s the source of her motivation that we know, but that’s not on you. Mary is at fault here, no one else. Don’t shoulder the blame for this.”

Tony felt dizzy. This was a lot more than he was expecting. And he was expecting a lot. Crying, yelling, hatred, being blamed. But he didn’t account for who Peter is. Of course Peter would make the comparisons between the trauma they’ve both had and take on the blame himself. Peter has always been the type of person to feel guilty over something he had no control over, just like Tony. It shouldn’t have surprised Tony that Peter would have thought about what Mary did and what Tony went through so much that Peter would take on all the blame, And yet here they are, Peter finding a way to put the blame on himself and Mary.

“I know that it’s not my fault, Mr. Stark. Rape can’t be blamed on anyone except the rapist. But I was still the motivation behind it. Mary, my mom, raped you for me to exist. If she didn’t want a kid she wouldn’t have raped you. If I wasn’t put into witness protection she wouldn’t have kidnapped you with the intent to rape you, again, for another child. It’s not my fault, but I’m still the reason behind it.”

Peter’s shoulders shook, and Tony could see his eyes were red and glassy as Peter tried not to cry. Tony’s heart hurt for the kid, his kid, his son. Peter was Tony’s son, and he was here and hurting. He wasn’t even hurting because Tony abandoned him, but because he blamed himself. Peter was too good, far too good for Tony, and far too good to have come from a place of terror.

“I don’t blame you, Peter. I didn’t blame you when I didn’t know it was you either. When I didn’t try to find you it wasn’t because I thought it was your fault. It’s because the entire thing felt like mine, and I didn’t think I could be a good father, especially if you looked like Mary. You don’t look like her. You look like me. I thought I hate hate my own kid because of what happened, but I don’t hate you, Pete. I’m really grateful that you’re my son. Out of all the kids in the world that could have been mine, I’m lucky it’s you. I don’t know if I could ever be what you want or expect me to be, but I can do my best.”

“Mr. Stark- I don’t understand?”

“I don’t know what type of relationship you want, whether that means cutting me off completely or keep the whole mentor-mentee thing, or if you want the father figure thing. Whatever you want I’m okay with it. And I don’t want you to think that I’m going to take you away from May. She raised you and I won’t tear you two apart. Kid, this also isn’t me trying to make you feel like you have to what you think I want.”

DUM-E whirred leaving Tony to grab a stress ball and bringing it over to Peter. This made Peter smile, taking the stress ball and tossing it for DUM-E to fetch. The robot beeped chasing the ball and heading back to Peter. Tony stayed silent, letting Peter play with DUM-E and think.

While this was a lot for Tony, it was surely a lot more for Peter. Their situation couldn’t be considered anything less than traumatic. It’s not like Peter hasn’t had enough trauma in his life. This was selfish of Tony, he should have considered what Peter has gone through. Now Tony has put pressure on Peter about a possible relationship. Of course Peter would say he wants some sort of relationship with Tony, he hates disappointing people. Peter wouldn’t do anything if he thought it’d upset someone. Tony should have been responsible, he should have just taken himself out of the equation. Just because Tony cared for Peter doesn’t mean he has any of the right to just stomp right in and claim himself as a dad.

Tony was horribly selfish for thinking he had any claim in Peter’s life. And even more so for putting a decision on Peter that Tony should be making. Everything is being put onto Peter like there wasn’t already enough there. Tony is already failing as a father. Already, like the last 15 years of Peter’s life hasn’t already been a complete failure on Tony’s part. He’ll never be good, not for Peter, he never has and never would.

“Sorry, Pete, this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t- this wasn’t- I’m sorry.”

Tony stood up, sniffing as he brushed off his legs. He moved to leave the lab, leave Peter, quit making mistakes. For 15 years Tony has failed his son- Peter’s whole life- 16 years he’s failed himself and his child. This will give Peter time. Time to recognize that Tony was being selfish. Everything was wrong and Tony should not be entitled to Peter’s life and emotions.

Peter looked confused, his held tilting to the right, eyebrows furrowed, and a small pout. For just a moment Tony saw a flash of Mary on Peter’s face before it passed. Tony couldn’t help flinching and taking a step back, before dropping his head forward. He flinched at his own son. Tony flinched, he saw Mary when he looked at Peter. There was no way to be a good father if he couldn’t separate the person who hurt him with the person who came from that.

“You can’t just leave, Mr. Stark. I’m not something that you can just lose interest in and come back when you feel like it. I’m your kid now, if you don’t want me in your life just say it. I’d rather you just say ‘Peter you remind me too much of your mother and I don’t think I can look at you,’ instead of stringing me along.”

“I’m not trying to do that. I don’t want to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

“I don’t care. You’re the adult. You can’t say whether we’re going to be estranged or close is on me then walk out. That’s not how it works, and I don’t even know how this works. But you don’t get to walk out on me. We’re family, and you don’t walk out on family.”

“I don’t know what to do, kid. I’m not trying to walk out on you, just give you time. Everything has been overwhelming, and I just gave you a lot to consider.”

“No,” Peter stood up, still staying on his side of the room, but moving a little closer to Tony, “I’ve had a week to think when you secluded yourself. A whole week where I had to deal with this alone. Richard died, he was my dad and he died trying to get me out of a bad home. Ben died, he was my uncle and the closest thing I’ve had to a dad for as long as I can remember, he died protecting me. Then I’m told you’re actually my dad, and my mother didn’t try killing you. Instead I have to deal with the fact that I’m born from rape, that my mom is a rapist. You’ve left me alone for a week to deal with this, we’re now at the part where we get to decide what happens. And it’s not you walking out on me.”

Tony sighed and sat back down on the workbench. He ran one hand over his face before tucking his hands under his legs.

“No walking out,” Tony agreed.

“We’re in this together. I don’t know if I can go through this alone.” Peter’s voice cracked and his face became redder as he obviously tried not to cry.

“Okay,” Tony nodded, his voice choked full of emotions, “okay. Together then. We’ll make it through this, Pete, we’ll be okay.”

Maybe the words weren’t all that believable to Tony, he can’t know how things turn out. He’s been proved wrong a hundred times over. But this time it feels right. Like he wasn’t taking the first steps into a bad decision. This time Tony has Peter and even May in his life now. He may not be great at being what Peter needs, he’s got so much trauma to work through and now a kid.

Tony has people in his corner this time, and maybe now that’ll make things different. He has Peter and May and Pepper and Rhodey. They’ll help him get through this. His family will help him. Tony has a family.

They’ll be okay.

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cozy-the-overlord · 3 years

Text

Dances and Daggers

Summary: The Summer Festival is upon Asgard, as is the tradition of the dagger ceremony, where each unmarried gentleman chooses a lady to bestow with the honor of carrying his dagger for the night. As Prince Thor’s betrothed, Teki’s only goal is to accept his dagger with grace and hope that her violent stepfather doesn’t find fault with her in the process. But Prince Thor is unpredictable, and when he ignores his engagement on a whim Teki finds herself in a desperate situation. Luckily, Thor isn’t the only prince in Asgard…

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Chapter 3: The Wish

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Word Count: 3,726

Chapter Summary: Dinner with the royal family is... about what Teki expected.

Thanks for reading! :)

TW: mentions of child abuse, cursing

Tags: @lucywrites02 @gaitwae

Read it on Ao3!

Her first night as part of the royal family found Teki with trembling palms and a gurgling stomach, fighting to maintain the appearance of composure. Her family didn’t seem to notice her anxiety—in fact, her mother seemed to be having the time of her life before they even left for dinner.

“See?” she beamed at Osvald as she spun Teki around in her new red dress. “It’s finally happening! She’s finally getting the recognition she deserves!”

Osvald studied her with a glittering gaze. Teki was careful to keep her own eyes glued to the floorboards. At some point in the last week, although he hadn’t said when, her stepfather had finally caved to the pain and visited the healers. Her mother had sighed in relief at this news, but Teki had to clasp her hands behind her back to stop them from shaking.

“How wonderful,” he said, smiling. He reached out to stroke a bit of loose hair that her mother hadn’t braided into her bun. His hands were cold on her cheek. “Then I’m certain everyone will be on their best behavior tonight, won’t we?”

Teki nodded. “Yes, sir.”

She was still trembling as she made her way to the royal tables in the feast hall. Stepping on to the raised platform didn’t help. Sure, the feast hall wasn’t nearly as large as the Great Hall, which was used only for festivals and celebrations, but everything seems bigger when you’re standing above it. Hundreds of pairs of eyes held her in their scrutiny. Teki thought she would be sick.

Her seat was at Thor’s right. Unsurprising—he was her fiancé after all, and he always sat at King Odin’s right. But this arrangement also put her at the end of the table, so that her only possible partner for conversation was the Crown Prince. Was that intentional as well?

If it was a ploy to get Thor and her to talk more, it didn’t work. The prince spent most of the dinner in raucous discussion with his father, as if completely ignorant of Teki’s presence at his elbow. They were very loud. Thor’s shouts rumbled the table and pierced Teki’s skull in a way that made the nausea even worse. She spent dinner trying to choke down a slice of bread.

It was weird, thinking about how she was going to marry Thor someday. She knew he was her elder only by a few years but… he seemed so much older. He was so tall, so muscular, with a voice that carried across the hall even when he wasn’t yelling. Just sitting next to him made Teki feel unbearably small. Only a few years between them, but he was already a man, and she still felt like a little girl.

At first, when people started getting up to dance, she feared that Thor would ask her as his partner. There was no way Teki would be able to turn down an offer from the prince, but she was barely holding herself together as it was. However, it seemed her worries were unwarranted. Thor got up without so much as a word to her and nearly flew to Lady Sif’s table amongst the nobles. Had she been feeling a bit better, Teki would have been concerned that Osvald had seen it, but all she felt in the moment was relief.

I’m going to be such a horrible Queen.

It seemed that the night had gone on forever. Everyone was shouting, laughing, dancing, having the absolute time of their life, while Teki only sank lower into her chair. When she sat with her mother, they could leave any time they wanted to. Nobody paid her any mind—she could slip out easily and no one noticed the difference. But here, she was on display for everyone. Here, everyone saw everything she did. It wasn’t fair. Her eyes burned. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want any of this.

Teki jumped when someone plopped themselves down in Thor’s seat, but it wasn’t her fiancé. Loki grinned at her with his sparkling emerald eyes.

“So, Lady Teki, how do you like looking down upon the masses,” he smirked.

Teki forced a smile. “I-I think it’s something I’ll have to get used to, my prince.” Her voice was pathetically small, and she cursed herself.

But Loki was kind enough not comment on her pitifulness. “Oh, I understand,” he agreed. “I imagine this setup is quite jarring.” Leaning in, he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Don’t tell anyone, but I still get dizzy up here sometimes.”

Teki exhaled a quiet giggle. She was fairly certain he was only trying to cheer her up, but the thought that the prince got as sick to his stomach as she felt somehow made her feel like less of a failure. “Your secret is safe with me, my prince.”

“I knew I could trust you.” He laughed softly, motioning towards the tables below them. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your brother has been trying to get your attention all night long.”

She frowned. “What?” Following his finger, her gaze landed on Brant, who was sitting the wrong way in his chair, frantically waving. When he saw her looking, he jumped and waved even harder. Teki laughed as she returned the wave.

“Has he really been doing that all night?” she asked. She couldn’t imagine that Osvald and her mother would be pleased with him making such a scene, but it seemed her mother was busy conversing with the ladies around her and Osvald was nowhere to be seen.

“I noticed him shortly after the meal began,” Loki chuckled. “He hasn’t stopped since then.”

“Oh Brant.” Teki wondered who cut his meat for him. She couldn’t imagine Osvald doing it. She couldn’t really imagine her mother doing it, either.

The two of them sat on the platform for a while, talking about nothing in particular. Loki carried most of the conversation, telling her the most hilarious stories about his classes—spells that ricocheted off the golden doorframe, potions that overflowed and contaminated the whole room, pranks that he played on the teachers to show off his talent. Some of them were so ridiculous that Teki found herself wondering if he was making them up to make her laugh, but she didn’t question him.

“There’s one woman, Lady Alda,” he was saying, gesturing animatedly as he told the story. “Horrible old hag—she’s the type who gets upset if you read ahead. She believes if she hasn’t taught it yet, then you’re not allowed to know it. I didn’t like that very much, so I read ahead to the transformation section. She had acted as if transformation is the most difficult skill you’ll ever learn, but it’s actually quite easy. So, I taught myself how to do it, and in the middle of class I turned her desk into a dead rat.”

“Loki!” Teki laughed incredulously.

“That’s not the best part! She turns to me and starts demanding that I undo it, shouting so loudly the walls shook The vein was popping out of her forehead, her hair was wild—I swear, she looked like a troll. And I looked her right in the eye and said ‘But Lady Alda, you haven’t taught us transformation yet!’”

Teki was somewhere between enthralled and horrified. “What did she do?”

Loki shrugged. “She told my father. That’s all they ever do. They’re afraid to try anything else.”

She pictured Odin, with his untamed beard and deafening shout. “What did your father do?”

“Oh, he got mad,” Loki said nonchalantly, flicking a crumb off his sleeve. “Yelled at me for my ‘unprincely conduct.’ Nothing serious.”

“Nothing serious,” Teki echoed softly. She wondered what Osvald would do if one of her teachers told him she had been acting out in class. The thought terrified her.

Loki had gone very quiet. Gently, he reached out to touch her wrist. “I—I meant to ask,” he cleared his throat. “Everything’s all right, right? I mean, with your family. Everything’s all right?”

Teki burned. “Yes, yes, of course,” she said quickly, her voice jumping an octave higher. “Everything’s fine. Nothing wrong at all.”

“That’s good.” His gaze had grown far more concerned, but there was relief mixed in with the green of his eyes. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. I just—I wanted to make sure—”

She nodded furiously. “I understand.”

Loki looked as if he was going to say something else, but Thor was rushing up the steps of the platform, shouting his name.

“Loki!” He grabbed at his brother’s shoulders, still seemingly oblivious to Teki’s presence. “Come! Volstagg and I are trying an experiment, we need your help—”

The younger prince squirmed out of Thor’s grasp. “Now?”

“Yes, now!” He tried pulling Loki to his feet. “We need an illusionist!”

“I—” he was able to shoot one apologetic glance to Teki before Thor had completely pulled him out of his seat. “Let go of me already! I’m coming.”

Teki studied her fingernails in her lap as the two princes clattered back down the steps. She suddenly felt very lonely.

…

“Can you read that one to me now?”

Brant cocked his head, brow furrowed at the line of writing. He and Teki were on her bedroom floor, pages spread around them covered in Teki’s careful lettering. They had been there all morning—Teki patiently helping him through longer words and sentences. Maybe it was just her, but she thought her little brother was making some definite improvement.

“Tah—Tah—”

Teki shook her head. “Remember what we said about the t and the h?” she asked, pointing at the paper. “What sound do they make when they’re together?”

Brant’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Thhh!” he hissed excitedly, spittle flying all over the page. Teki snickered.

“So what does it say?”

“Thhh—the. The!” he grinned. “The wi—the wis—”

The slamming of the door cut him off abruptly. Voices echoed from downstairs, ricocheting off the walls. They both tensed.

“You sit there and give me nothing and then you expect me to listen to you when you’re going on about your—”

“Oh, I don’t expect you to listen to me, Áslaug. You never fucking listen to me—”

“Stop yelling! You’re always fucking yelling!”

“You think this is yelling? I’ll show you yelling—”

Brant whimpered as the sound of something shattering against the wall rattled the air. Teki inhaled.

“Come, get your shoes on,” she whispered, slowly pulling him to his feet. If they were quiet enough, Osvald and her mother might not even realize they were home. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Teki had learned long ago to appreciate the ivy outside her bedroom window. Her mother would beat her herself if she knew how often her daughter climbed down the side of the apartment, dress fluttering above her ankles, but it was a risk worth taking. The vines were strong, and they led directly into the royal gardens—the perfect escape.

She went first, guiding Brant down behind her. He wasn’t nearly as agile as she was, but he knew where the right footholds were, and he knew better than to cry out if he slipped. They reached the ground in silence, the cacophony of battle still reverberating behind them.

It was a warm day. Teki pulled Brant through the grass and on to the garden paths. There were only a few hours until dinner—hopefully things would have calmed down by then. Her parents’ arguments usually flamed out fairly quickly. Osvald’s temper had a tendency to linger, however, and Teki knew better than to risk crossing his path while he was angry.

Maybe sitting with the royal family isn’t so bad after all.

Ahead of them, the courtyard was alive with shouts. There was a crowd gathered, chanting and cheering and jumping up and down.

“What’s going on over there?” Brant whispered.

Teki would have preferred to avoid the commotion, but she let her brother pull her towards the pack. They were watching a fight, it seemed—two figures were going at it in the middle of a hastily drawn ring, rushing at each other with giant sticks.

Oh. Teki winced. They must have been practicing for the Games. It was the only time she ever saw those kinds of weighted staffs in use. The Games were an end-of-summer tradition, where all the worthy men of the court would show off their prowess as a warrior and might as a man by jumping into an arena and defeating their opponent in a series of different duels. It wasn’t as much an exercise in strength as it was a display of brutality—usually, the loser was carried out of the arena a bloody mess. Teki spent those days with her head buried in her hands, only occasionally peeking through her fingers when it seemed safe to look.

It was a moment before she recognized Thor, shirtless as he wielded his staff, sparring with another blond she didn’t know. His partner was panting like a dog, but Thor looked as if he hadn’t broken a sweat. Blow by blow, he beat his opponent back in the ring, pushing, pummeling, dominating… until the boy fell backwards, holding his hands up in surrender.

Thor laughed, slamming his staff on the ground. “Is that truly your best effort, Fandral?” he asked as he extended a hand. “I’ve seen some of my mother’s ladies put up a better fight than that!” The crowd snickered with him.

Thor and Osvald would get along well.

She wasn’t sure where the thought came from, but it sunk in like a stone in her stomach. Teki swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Come on, Brant,” she mumbled, pulling at his arm. “Let’s—”

“Hah!”

Teki shrieked at the sudden presence behind her. She flipped around just in time to smack into Prince Loki’s leather chest. He laughed as he reached out to steady her.

For a moment, all she could hear was her pulse pounding in her eardrums. “My prince,” she said shakily, forgetting to curtsey. “You scared me!”

“Many apologies my lady,” Loki grinned, looking anything but apologetic. “I suppose you were too engrossed in your betrothed’s performance to notice me approaching.”

“No, I—” she stuttered. Why did that statement make her feel guilty? “I was just taking my brother out for a stroll, my prince.” She pulled at Brant’s shoulder, who upon Loki’s appearance had taken shelter behind her legs. For some reason, it was critically important that Loki know she hadn’t come here just to watch Thor.

“Ahh.” The prince kneeled to smile at her brother. “And how do you do today, Lord Brant?”

Brant shrank further back behind her legs. “Good,” he mumbled.

Teki flushed with embarrassment, but Loki only laughed. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said. Behind them, Thor was challenging someone else to another sparring session.

“Don’t be a coward! What kind of warrior runs from a fight?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Would you like to walk down to the lake?” he asked. “It’s much more peaceful there. Unless you’d prefer to stay for this madness.”

A crash shook the ground beneath their feet as Thor body slammed his next victim into the dirt. Teki cringed. “The lake sounds lovely, my prince.”

It was funny how easy it was to fall into conversation with Loki. They drifted from topic to topic almost lazily as they made their way across the grounds—how nice the weather had been, how strange it was that Teki was sitting with the royal family now, how overdramatic Thor could be about his training. When they reached their destination, Loki was telling her about his family’s upcoming trip to Alfheim.

“I’m really excited,” he said animatedly. “I’ve only gone once, and I was too young to properly remember much. Father usually takes only Thor when he travels.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Teki smiled. She smoothed out her skirt as they reclined on the grassy banks. There was the slightest breeze rippling through the water, sending tiny ripples to lap against the dirt. The effect was almost hypnotic. “Alfheim’s a beautiful planet.”

“Oh,” Loki looked up eagerly. “Have you been?”

“Oh, no—I—” Teki faltered. Not supposed to talk about this. “My father lived there for a while,” she finally said. “He used to tell me about it.”

She could almost hear him reminiscing in her head. Alfheim is where music lives, he used to say. It sleeps in the trees and dances through the air like a bird. Someday I’ll show you, Teki. Her eyes prickled with tears, but she blinked them away.

“That’s fascinating.” Loki leaned in closer, continuing hesitantly. “Was he—was your father Elvish?”

“Oh no, he was Asgardian. He just traveled around a lot.” She frowned, trying to retrieve the memory. “I think he lived in Vanaheim for a little bit too.”

Loki sighed. He dug his fingers into the grass, tearing at the delicate stalks. “I wish I lived in Vanaheim. That’s where all the most talented magicians study. My mother studied there, for a time.”

“Then why can’t you go?” she asked. She didn’t understand why he looked so forlorn—she couldn’t imagine any magic teacher would turn him down, considering how effortlessly he healed her rib during the Summer Festival.

“Father won’t let me!” he groaned, chucking his handful of grass into lake. “It’s beyond frustrating—I’m more than qualified, but he won’t have it. He says my place is on Asgard and that I shouldn’t be running across the Nine Realms just to chase a hobby.” With a huff, he leaned back against the embankment.

Teki didn’t know how to respond to that. “Well, maybe he’s just waiting until you’re older,” she supplied unhelpfully.

“Maybe.” But she could tell that he wasn’t convinced.

Brant, who had been silent up to this point, tugged on her sleeve.

“He can do magic?” he whispered in her ear. She giggled, squirming from his hot breath. Under any other circumstances, she’d be embarrassed by her brother’s lack of propriety, but for some reason, it didn’t feel out of line in this instance.

“Why don’t you ask him?” she whispered back.

Brant looked up at her with wide eyes, shrinking back behind her again. Teki nudged him gently towards Loki. He glanced back at her again before gulping in a deep breath.

“Can—can you do magic?” he asked, stumbling as he avoided eye contact with the prince.

Loki smiled. “I can, as a matter of fact. Would you like to see?”

Brant nodded shyly. Loki motioned him over, cupping her brother’s tiny hands together. “I want you to hold your hands like this very carefully,” he said, very seriously. “I’m going to give you the magic, but you can’t let go. Alright?” Brant nodded again, brow furrowed in concentration as he stared at his palms. Teki scooted over so she could have a better view of what was happening.

“Now, close your eyes and count to three,” he continued. Brant closed his eyes. “One, two, three!”

Teki gasped. Suddenly, her brother was holding what could only be described as liquid light. It gleamed in his palms, illuminating his face in a yellow glow and glistening in the reflection of his cornflower eyes. His face broke into a wide grin.

“Magic!” he breathed in awe.

Loki chuckled at their astonishment. “Blow on it,” he told Brant. “Go ahead.” Brant blew softly into his hands. The light rippled like water, lapping against his fingertips. He giggled.

“It tickles, Teki!” he whispered.

Teki was mesmerized. “What is that?”

“It’s just a light source. They use it a lot with younger students, because it’s not as difficult to control as fire.” Loki circled his hand once around Brant’s, a quick flick of the wrist. Slowly, the light drained into nothingness. “It was one of the first tricks my mother taught me.”

Brant was turning his hands over and over, as if he was surprised to find them unchanged. “Can you grant wishes?” he asked excitedly.

Both Loki and Teki snorted. “You mean like a Midgardian genie?” he laughed. “I suppose it depends. What wish would you like granted?”

“I wish I had wings!” he cried, leaning forward with a wide grin. “Can you give me wings?” Loki glanced at Teki quizzically. She frowned. Where was this coming from?

“What do you need wings for?” the prince asked.

“Because then I could fly, and sit really high up in the trees, and when I want to go somewhere I could just fly, and then when everything’s bad I can take Teki and fly away so we can live in the clouds until everything gets better again.” He inhaled. “So can you give me wings?”

Teki swallowed. She could feel Loki’s eyes on her, feel the pity in his gaze, and she couldn’t bring herself to meet it. “That wouldn’t work, Brant,” she said thickly. “Clouds are just mist. You can’t live on a cloud. You’d fall right through.”

“Oh.” Brant deflated, sitting back on his knees.

“I’ll look for a spell to give you wings, Brant,” Loki promised, voice soft. “And maybe I’ll find a cloud you can live on, too. There’s all sorts of strange things in the universe.”

Teki stood up. She couldn’t bear this anymore. “We should be getting back,” she said. “We need—we need to get ready for dinner.” Hopefully they’re not still throwing things. Brant stood up obediently, taking her hand.

Loki scrambled to his feet as well. “I can walk you back, if you like?”

“Oh, no—that’s—” Her heart ached at the way his face fell, but her blood ran cold at the idea of Osvald catching her running around with the wrong prince. “Thank you, my prince, but I don’t think that would be necessary.”

“Of course, of course.” Loki bowed slightly, his hands awkwardly fumbling with his sleeves. “Then… I’ll see you at dinner, I suppose?”

Teki forced a smile. “See you at dinner, my prince.”

They walked away, Brant still clutching her palm. Her brother had the right idea, she realized. She too wished they would grow wings and fly away to the clouds.

#dances and daggers #loki x ofc #loki marvel #loki fanfic #dances and daggers chapter 3 #the wish #cozy writes

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tendousthoughts · 3 years

Text

Our Plan

Y/N or Ship(s): Ship (KuroKen & BokuAka)

Genre: Fluff/slight angst

Warnings: Mention of not eating/weight, foul language (cursing)

Summary: Does he really love me? I hope so. I love him so much, it hurts. Even though everyone seems to be telling me the same thing... how can I trust them when I don’t see it myself. I won’t confess until I know for sure.

A/N: Heyo! I’m sorry I didn’t post any stories for like a week. I have been really lazy.. I won’t be doing a longer version for this. I am writing this for all the people who got hurt from my last KuroKen fanfic (My Petals). If you can go check out my last fanfic (Mine forever). I might be doing some more headcanons later today/tomorrow. Please go ahead and request/comment/chat me. As always sorry for the grammatical and spelling errors!

Goodbye

There he goes like he was never there. God Kuroo I wish you wouldn’t leave me alone. I am going to miss you so much. ~ Kenma

There was Kuroo sitting on the bench waiting for the train. Holding back his tears. He wished he could believe that Kenma liked him. But he couldn’t, no matter how many people told him otherwise.

Kenma wished he could just confess. But he couldn’t come to agree with the statement that Kuroo liked him.

“Kenma?” Kuroo whispered.

“Mhm?” Kenma mumbled.

“Will you miss me?” He choked out as tears began to flood his eyes.

“Of course, Kuroo” tears began to fall.

Kuroo slowly opened up his arms as kenma slowly entered his grasp. Holding him tight. “Kenma, I’m going to miss you so much,” Kuroo whispered.

“Promise to visit me?” Kenma mumbled hiding his face into his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Kuroo whispered as he closed his eyes. The tear’s wouldn’t stop rolling down his face.

Screeeech

Stop

Gone

Where are you?

Kuroo sat in his new dorm. It’s been one week yet nobody could tell him where Kenma was. Not only that, Kenma wasn’t answering anyone. He couldn’t help but think it was his fault. This was only the first week. The next break he had was about a month from then.

Kenma sat in his bed. He wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t eaten for like a day. He wished Kuroo didn’t leave.

Ring..

Kenma slowly looked at his phone. Akaashi was calling him.

“Hey..” he grumbled softly as he picked up.

“where the hell have you been?” Akaashi screamed.

“Why?” Kenma didn’t want anything other than to have this phone call over.

“WHY? ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Akaashi screamed.

Fuck. Can everyone leave me alone? ~ Kenma

“Akaashi I am Okay you don’t have to worry nobody does. Can you ask everyone to just leave me the hell alone? I’m not a lost puppy that needs help. I am tired. I know I have to fucking move on okay so don’t go telling me that. I just miss him. Everyone tells me he likes me. Then when we are talking he only talks about a girl he likes. I need people to stop trying to help. They aren’t helping.” Kenma was already crying.

Fuck I’m sorry Kenma. ~ Akaashi

“Kenma.. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry about Kuroo. Please can I just come to check up on you?” Akaashi started. “I won’t- ”

“My House...” Kenma whispered.

“Huh?”

“I’m at my house, You can come check up on me. I want only two people max though. So go ahead and choose someone. I don’t want Kuroo knowing anything about how I’m doing. So choose someone trustworthy.” Kenma mumbled and hung up.

He Doesn’t

Knock..

Kenma slowly opened the door. There stood Akaashi.

“Hey kenma..” Akaashi smiled as he walked in. The house was a mess.

I’m so sorry Kenma. I don’t know if I have done anything to cause this but if I have I am so fucking sorry. You look so sick. How long have you not brushed your hair? When was the last time you ate something, you’re so pale? When was the last time you slept.. You have really bad eye bags. ~ Akaashi

What the actual hell. Why is nobody concerned about you? Akaashi your eyes are so red. You look almost as tired as me. What the hell are you doing here? Huh? ~ Kenma

“What happened to you?” Kenma laughed. “You look almost as bad as me.”

“What do you mean?” Akaashi smiled softly.

“Why were you crying huh?” Kenma blurted out

“Oh uh, I just miss Bokuto. You?” Akaashi whispered

“Oh that Owl? I miss Kuroo” Kenma tried to lighten the mood

“I know you didn’t just come for Bokuto when Kuroo looks like a rooster” Akaashi laughed.

“He does not!”

“Does too!”

Kenma giggled a bit. “You hungry?”

“Sure,” Akaashi smiled.

“Okay I’ll go make some food, you go take a shower. You look like a mess.”

“I know you didn’t call me a mess!”

“Did too! I’ll take one after you can borrow some of my clothes.” Kenma smiled as he began to make some food.

In about fifteen minutes. Akaashi walked out.

“You and Bokuto are not together?” Kenma took a bite out of his food.

“Um no.. he doesn’t like me.”

“Are you sure? I think he does. All he does is talk about his Akaashi when he comes over.” Kenma smiled.

“H-His?” Akaashi’s heart fluttered.

“Mhm! But he doesn’t think you like him..”

“I do! But then again he might just be calling me his. As a friendly way. Anyway how about you and Kuroo?”

“He said he likes this girl.”

“Oh weird.”

“What do you mean weird?”

“He told me he is gay.” Akaashi looked seriously confused.

“I think it was as a joke ‘Kaashi” Kenma smiled softly. “Bokuto and you would be cute.”

“I wish he would just confess..”

“Why don’t you?”

“Unsure.. I just want to make sure he likes me and just doesn’t feel bad. Dating me out of pity and shit, you know?”

“Ya.. You know we could fake dating. It would help speed up the process of this sappy shit.” Kenma said jokingly.

“I guess... Oh and it will help us find out about you and Kuroo!”

“Oh um okay.. I bet you have been ignoring everyone too?”

“Mhm..”

“ ‘Kay just text everyone ‘Sorry I was busy lately Kenma just confessed to me and we have been going on dates.’ I’ll say the same thing.

Akaashi sent the messages and so did Kenma.

“In like three weeks we will fake a breakup. Just in time for Bokuto and Kuroo to come back!” Akaashi smiled

“Well okay, baby~” Kenma winked and smiled

He did what?

Kuroo stood there looking at the message for a good ten minutes. Trying to see how to respond.

“Oh um.. Congrats.” Kuroo sent as tears rolled down his face.

Bokuto called up Kuroo.

“Hey?” Bokuto shouted.

“Yes?”

“Tell Kenma to back off ! I really really really like ‘Kaashi!”

“I know Bokuto. I wish they weren’t dating..”

“Do you think ‘Kaashi is not good enough for Kenma! Huh? ‘Cause Kenma doesn’t deserve him! ‘Kaashi is the most calm, best, kindest person out there!”

“No Bokuto. I don’t think that, it is just I like him.”

“Oh. Umm well I think when we visit we need to make them fall for us instead!” Bokuto smiled proudly.

“I guess Bokuto but they love each other and we shouldn’t hurt them by doing that.”

Even though I wish you liked me Kenma. I thought you liked me too. Was I not clear enough? Did telling you that I like a girl really confuses you? Or did you really never like me?~ Kuroo

Breakup

Kenma smiled softly. They never kissed. Akaashi wanting to have his first with Bokuto, and Kenma wanting to have it with whoever actually would like him. It being Kuroo or not.

“Ready for part two to be in place?” Kenma smiled softly.

“Yep! So let’s just post on our twitter that we broke up and it was mutual. As well as we realized we both liked other boys so there are no hard feelings. We will still be friends and all.” Akaashi whispered.

“Okay you wanna post it first and in twenty minutes I’ll post mine?”

“Okay.”

I really hope this works.. I don’t know why it would. I really love you though Kuroo. Please if there is any fighting chance... please love me. ~ Kenma

Bokuto-san, I know this might not work. But, I won’t give up. Am I not making it clear enough? I tried to tell you I love you. But you took it as if it was a friend type thing, how many friends tell you that? How do I make it clearer? Do you like me or do you not Bokuto-san? Because, I really like you. ~ Akaashi

Once they were both posted, Kenma and Akaashi just got ready for sleep, not thinking much about it.

My Shot

Kuroo woke up to the sound of his phone. He slowly rubbed his eyes slowly.

“Hey Bokuto you needed something” he whispered softly as he yawned, half asleep.

“ ‘Kaashi and Kenma broke up! So now I can be with ‘Kaashi!” He giggled softly. “I am going to ask him out next week when I see him!”

“What?” Kuroo woke up with that sentence. “They broke up? Do you know how Kenma is?” Kuroo blurted out.

“I don’t know.. But I can be with ‘Kaashi now!” He smiled softly thinking of being with his ‘Kaashi he couldn’t wait.

“Uh okay well talk to you later imma call Kenma.”

“Okayyy~”

Kuroo hung up. Taking a deep breath. Closing his eyes. Not now. Not fucking now. Not when all he is doing is trying to avoid this feeling.

Confession

There you are Bokuto-San. I love you so much. I wonder if you knew that. I love your eyes. They are so fucking pretty. I love your smile.. I love your everything. I. Love. You. ~ Akaashi

My ‘Kaashi is so beautiful.. I wonder if Akaashi will like me back. He is the best looking person. He is so calm, kind, and gentle. I love him so much. I. Love. You. My. Lover boy. ~ Bokuto

Bokuto ran up and picked up Akaashi. “MY ‘KAASHI!” He giggled as he placed a kiss on his head.

“Hello Bokuto-San,” he blushed from the name and the kiss.

“I like you. Like really really really like you!” He smiled as he carried him. Swinging him around. “Can you be my boyfriend?”

“What?” Akaashi blushed harder.

“Can you be mine forever ‘Kaashi?” Bokuto stopped spinning, looking Akaashi dead in the eyes. With his stupidly cheerful, happy grin. One that could brighten anyone’s day.

“Uh..” Akaashi was shocked. But soon reconnected to reality. “I will. I will!” He smiled tears rolling down his cheeks as he slowly looked at bokuto with his eyes that could melt anyone’s heart.

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto asked.

“Um.. Ya I would love that,” He whispered.

A soft pair of lips pressed against his. The lips of the only boy he had ever loved and will ever love.

Convincing

There he is. The boy I will forever love. The boy I wish was mine. The boy who might not love me. The boy who might not even like boys. The boy who is my everything, Kuroo.” ~ Kenma

I love you Kenma. I hope by the end of tonight I will be yours and you will be mine. Can we make this happen? I hope so Kenma because I can’t see you go find another lover. I love you too much for that. I hope you love me that much too. ~ Kuroo

Kuroo walked up and smiled softly, “Miss me?” He asked softly.

“Mhm,” he smiled as he jumped up. Kuroo instinctively reached up and began to carry him.

“I missed you too, I missed you a lot,” he whispered as he held on to Kenma tightly.

Kenma smiled and nuzzled into Kuroo’s warm neck.

“Hey Kenma, I’m gay. You know that right?” Kuroo whispered.

“Uh... no..?” He mumbled. “I thought you liked that girl. The one you talk about all the time. You know, the girl with the great personality and is all warm towards you?”

“Kenma am I that convincing?” Kuroo chuckled.

“I guess. You like someone though?”

“Mhm.. you” Kuroo chuckled. His anxiety was extremely high, wondering how kenma would respond to the sudden confession.

“What?” Kenma moved from his spot, his face red.

“I like you Kenma, I like how cute you are. I like how calm you are. I like how you can be super observant. I like how when you want to do something really bad you won’t stop till you have done it. So Kenma, will you be my boyfriend?” Kuroo was pink looking into his eyes. Those eyes were going to be the death of him.

“I-I like you too.. so yes,” Kenma giggled.

“Kiss?” Kuroo looked away, embarrassed as he said so.

Kenma shook his head slightly as his lips hit Kuroo’s. His smile was wide. His heart pounding fast. He was happy. Happy forever.

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asphalt-cocktail · 4 years

Text

For the Sake of content- Chapter 10

Chapter 10- Uncertainty and the Test of Time.

Summary: After walking in on your long-term boyfriend, Harrison, cheating on you and then losing your job the following day; your find yourself broke, jobless, and single for the first time in a long while. In order to make ends meet, your best friend since college, Freddie, suggests you start soliciting explicit photos of yourself, not only to help boost your confidence but to help pay the rent for his band mate’s apartment you just moved into.

A/N: Hi friends! I know this took me forever but honestly this chapter hit a little too close to home for me to begin to feel comfortable writing. But today I finally worked up the courage to write it and oh boy let me tell you it is SAD. But dont worry this fic will have a happy ending! Also if you can figure out the era of Roger I am transitioning too bonus points to you! Sorry it is so short, it was difficult for me to write this emotionally and took a lot out of me.

Pairing: Roger Taylor x F!Reader

Warnings: Language, ANGST, longing, just a lot of sad feels, (dont worry there will be a happy ending), Mentions of smut but no actual smut in this chapter, alcohol mentions, not proof read

Word Count: 1.9k

The following morning you woke up, your sinuses feeling gummy and throat dry.

Glancing at the clock you made a mental note of the time, much too late for you to still be in bed. Your stomach clenched when you heard the door open and despite want to stay in the warm cocoon of your bed you felt yourself moving on your own. The sudden urge to see Roger flooded over your body and you shuffled out the bedroom, quickly thinking of some excuse you could make to be out here with him. Fluidly you moved to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water out of the tap.

“Hey.” You said setting your cup down and watching him set his keys on the kitchen table.

He grinned up at you “Hey,” he responded back. Your gaze watched him as he moved through the house with out much of a second thought before he retreated to his room, “Hey I’m going to be gone for a few days.” His muffled voice called.

“Where are you going to be?” You called back sitting on the kitchen table. You didn’t know if your stomach hurt from being hungry or from what you knew Roger’s answer was going to be.

He came out with a backpack slung over his shoulder “Oh, I’m going to stay at Dominique’s for a little while.”

You pursed your lips and nodded your head, “Oh, well have fun.” You said flashing him a closed mouth smile.

He didn’t give you a second glance before leaving the house.

Your heart clenched, why would you be so upset over your friend leaving for a few days? Roger had his own life and you needed to respect that. Those thought played over and over in your brain for the remainder of the day and it seemed like no matter how often you thought them they never seemed to get through to you and the more you felt nauseous.

You didn’t know how many days passed until Fred had showed up pounding on your door.

You opened it and were immediately met with a grimace “You look like you haven’t left your bed in three days.” He said pushing his way past you and letting himself in to your ‘shared’ apartment.

“Well how many days has it been since Sunday?” You asked rubbing your tired and slightly swollen eyes.

“Three.” Fred said pointedly.

You plopped on the couch, “Well then you’re right.”

Your friend’s eyes narrowed as he looked at you, “What do you mean I’m right?” He said sitting next to you, “What’s got you in a funk?”

You felt his intense gaze as you averted your eyes from him, looking down at your feet and playing with the hem of your shirt. “It’s nothing.” You responded before letting out deep sigh. “What brings you over?” You asked lightly slapping your hands on your thighs.

Fred gave you a weird look, his brow eyes intently taking in every bit of your body language, “I you haven’t talked to anyone since Saturday night.” He said a light frown gracing his sharp features.

You shifted awkwardly, “Wow, crazy,” you remember your phone, sitting on your nightstand and on do not disturb, “Are you sure?” you asked knowing the answer.

Fred stood up, “Get up.” He said grabbing your limp arm and tugging you reluctantly to your feet, “Go shower and then we’ll continue talking.” He said pushing you towards the bathroom not caring you had no change of clothes.

The bathroom door shut behind you and you looked in the mirror, you really did look like shit. Your skin looked dry and dark bags hung under your eyes and your hair looked dirty. You frowned and turned the water on hot, as hot as it could go, undressed and stepped in.

The hot water soaked your body and burnt your skin, yet it didn’t hurt; it felt strangely cathartic. You inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, feeling tears beginning to well in your eyes. You covered your face with your hand and a sob wrecked through you, shaking your body and causing you to lean forward.

Your shoulders shook with sobs and your tears mixed with the water, washing away the evidence of your crying. You tried your best to curb your sobs but choked them out anyways. It hurt. Knowing Roger had sex with you and dropped you the moment he saw someone better come along. Like always, you were second best.

Your brain processed what had happened in the last few months of your life. Walking in on your boyfriend Harrison, breaking up with him, moving in with Roger, becoming a cam girl, having sex with Roger a lot, sharing soft intimate moments with him, and now sitting here on the floor of your shower crying with your knees into your chest as the cold water ran out.

This was a new low moment to say the least.

A knock on the door shook you from your endless thoughts, you sniffed and rubbed your face before standing up, “What?” You called back.

“What’s taking you so long? There’s no way you still have hot water.” Fred shouted back.

He was right, you didn’t and you hadn’t even started washing yourself. You suffered through the cold water and washed your hair and body, cleaning it of the filth and emotions.

As soon as you had your towel wrapped around you Fred opened the door and tossed a bottle of his nice moisturizer at you, “You always feel better after you moisturize.” He said and shut the door one again.

He was right, your skin looked dewy and no longer crusted with sleep and sweat. You felt clean like a breath of fresh air, but your mind continued to remind you of how alone you were in this apartment. The two of you sat on your couch once again, this time you were clean and in fresh clothes.

Freddie splayed his hands on his pants, “So,” He started out, “When were you going tell me that you and Roger have been sleeping together?”

You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you “What are you talking about?” You asked trying to hide your nerves.

“I saw a picture. I know what the both of you look like naked it isn’t hard to tell.”

Heat crept up the back of your neck and spread from your face to the tips of your ears and your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find your words, “Is that what this is all about?” Freddie asked maintaining his intense gaze.

You averted your gaze from his and stared hard at the floor. Fred grabbed you and forced you look at him, “Listen, [Y/N], Dominique is a manipulative witch that knows how to wrap Roger around her finger” You stared into his intense brown eyes, “She doesn’t have shit on you and never will.” He let go of your face and you didn’t move, “She sweeps in and sinks her dirty claws into Roger’ soft heart and takes advantage of him.” He picked some lint off his pants and paused before he continued, “No one likes her.” He added.

You took Freddie’s words to heart, he seemed genuine and you had already learned previously that Dom was not well liked among the boys. At the end of the week Roger returned, presumably to get a new bag of clothes.

To say you were shocked to see him was honestly an understatement. You gaped at him when he walked through the door “What the fuck happened to your hair?” You asked looking at him.

His long choppy hair was now short and wild on his head, Roger rushed past you, “Do you like it? Dominique said it looked better this way.” He said moving to his room.

You couldn’t help but follow him and lean on his doorway, “Dominique told you to cut your hair short so you did?” your voice was laced with disbelief.

Roger glanced back and you and nodded his head, “Yeah.”

You rubbed your face with your hand, “Do you know how insane that sounds? She is literally telling you how to dress, Roger.” You frowned deeply, “What happened to changing your clothes three times a day and not wearing the same pair of shoes every week, or waking up an two hours before you need to open the store to style your hair.”

Roger didn’t look back at you and continued to stuff clothes into his duffle bag, “I know, but that isn’t efficient.”

An audible scoff left your mouth, “Efficient?” You gaped at him, “Since when did you care about efficiency?”

Roger’s head whipped towards you, “Since when did you care about what I do with my life?” He said, a nasty tone dripping from his words.

You didn’t like this. Not one bit. “What is that supposed to mean?” You asked following with your arms crossed over your chest.

Roger turned on his heel and looked at you, “It is supposed to mean that you shouldn’t care about the other women in my life.”

You clenched your fists, “Roger, Dominique doesn’t care about you and by the end of next week you’ll be back here sulking in your room and bitter like you first were.”

Roger clenched his teeth, his blue eyes now ignited with fire, “Why do you care? We aren’t together and we never were. Get over it.” He hissed before slamming the door behind him.

Your stomach tightened as his words as they rammed into you like a truck. Your mind flashed back to the moments to intimate to be just sex.

Roger cupped your face as you clung to him, your body trembling as he leaned against your headboard with you on his lap. He kissed your face, your nose, eyes, and cheeks. “God, you are so fucking beautiful.” He said pressing his lips fully against yours as the two of you clung to each other.

---

You laid your head in Roger’s lap as the two of you laid across the couch while some shitty movie played in the background. You had a bowl of popcorn in your lap and threw pieces as Roger tried to catch them, every time he missed, they would lightly plop on your face. You didn’t care about the salty butter dirtying your skin. Roger awkwardly craned his head down, his long dyed hair framing the sides of your face and tickling the skin. Your nose scrunched and Roger laughed softly before kissing the tip of your nose.

---

Another night at the bar, spent dancing until it was either very early or very late. The two of you clung to each other with an arm wrapped around the other’s waist, your steps swaying and causing the two of you to stumble and laugh.

---

The first time Roger slept in your bed; you woke up to his already wild hair looking now untamable while soft snores left slightly ajar mouth. You brushed his hair back and he pulled you into his chest as he kissed your shoulder and buried his face into your back.

These moments were far too intimate to be just sex or to be just two friends. Your brain felt muddied; did he not feel the same? Did he still think of this as a business arrangement?

You felt dizzy from all of the questions that flooded your brain and soon began to feel helpless.

If Freddie was right, Roger would be back within the next week saying ‘you were right [y/n]’

But until then, your feelings could only stand against the test of time and uncertainty.

#roger taylor #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!roger taylor #ben hardy!roger taylor x reader #queen x reader #queen smut #queen series #roger taylor series #roger taylor blurb

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fuzziemutt · 3 years

Text

Do You Understand?

Chapter 6/9 - Link to MasterList in reblog

Summary: One apology down... A very pleasant change of pace

Tw: Unhealthy thinking. This chapter is much lighter.

Connor held Nines’ hand in a grip that was almost afraid that Nines would suddenly let go as if it were the worst thing in the world. Nines never mentioned this. The only thing Nines asked further was for Connor to lead them to his apartment, saying something about how he would like to have this talk with him where he felt safe. Connor didn’t mention that it would no longer be safe with Nines there. In fact, he went back to his self assigned silence. Nines didn’t seem to mind just rambling about what was on his mind as if he was happy to just be there with Connor gently swinging their hands.

The only moment Connor interrupted was when they got closer to his apartment and tugged on Nines’ hand to have him stop. When he was met with a questioning tilt of Nines’ head, Connor grabbed his beanie from a pocket in his large coat and started putting it on single handedly. Nines misunderstood and tried to let go of Connor’s hand as if he was assuming Connor needed both, but Connor quickly tightened his grip so he wouldn’t leave him. He instead started tapping his finger against his temple where the LED now remained hidden under the dark blue fabric. Having figured it out, Nines maneuvered his way with one hand to take the hood of his jacket and pull it over to try and hide his face as much as possible. (Even though his blinding neon coat would make him the center of attention in seconds anyways). When Connor nodded in satisfaction did they begin moving again towards the building once more.

They didn’t really run into anyone, thankfully, given it was just past midday, and Connor was returning to his apartment way earlier than usual. Connor was leading this time. He didn’t know why he wasn’t just refusing to take them any further or even why he said his address in the first place. He got the apartment specifically to ignore everyone with. It was supposed to be his hide away spot after all. Maybe he was still in that weird system space from earlier, but he felt pretty self aware right now, his processing running smoothly. Today was just weird and hasn’t made any sense. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it most certainly is confusing him.

A quick pocket digging and turning of a key and Connor was pulling Nines into his apartment, closing and locking the door behind out of habit. If Nines took note of the behavior, Connor ignored it as he refused to look at the android next to him since they got to the building. Nines went back to leading and brought them to the dinky IKEA couch, it was one of those weird L bracket types, it was also a nice dull bluish grey, most of the items he got were that color. He would have gotten plain blue but he felt it was too strong compared to the lavender curtains- Focus Connor. He blinked himself out of his thoughts and realized they were already sitting down and Nines was looking at him patiently, he already put his hood back down too. Oh yeah he had to explain whatever the hell happened back there he’s assuming. He removed his own beanie and started fidgeting with it while thinking of what to say and do. He kept his gaze to the side away from emotional blue eyes. It seemed Nines was taking the time to listen to what Connor was going through, but that didn’t mean Connor trusted him in any sense of the word. They still ignored and accused him of various things for months.

“Please don’t lie to me, Connor,” was spoken to him so quietly. Sure, Connor was planning on lying, but he didn’t like it being noted before he even did it. Why was Nines even being so gentle with him, shouldn’t he be upset with him? Connor dented a table, almost broke a door, and aggressively ignored the other for the past 2 almost 3 months. Maybe Connor was being too defensive. Too guarded. It was showing because Nines smiled at him to his lips.

“You were right, Con,” that definitely caught Connor’s attention, “We never took the time to ask you how you were feeling. We assumed you were doing just fine because we never tried to look deeper into how you expressed your own feelings.”

Connor intently stared at him looking for any sense of a lie. He guessed there was one benefit to Nines being a far more open book than him.

“I should have known better. I knew that your model had trouble expressing in the first place. I also knew you didn’t like outwardly sharing your emotions and didn’t even try to learn how to interact with you.

“I hurt you, Con. I hurt you in a way that I can never take back and I am deeply sorry for not having seen it sooner. But I can’t change what I… what we did to you, so I want to make an effort now. I want to be there for you and take the time to… understand… who you are,” Nines hesitated on that word, but it only made Connor tense up this time surprisingly enough. Maybe it was the way Nines looked so genuinely sorry while talking, or how Nines’ hand tightened around his as if to give (comfort) support.

He seemed serious. Like he genuinely wanted to hear what Connor had to say finally instead of brushing him off. Connor wanted that anger to come back right now, to justify him shutting Nines out again, to throw him out of his apartment and never look back, but he couldn’t. He kept ignoring it but that void inside him lessened a bit hearing Nines’ apology. He didn’t want to admit to himself that even with the anger, he genuinely missed having his friends to talk to. To hang out with that could distract him from his worst thoughts. He wouldn’t forgive the others no. They had to apologize themselves, but Nines.. Nines seemed like a good place to start. He worried Nines would just go back on his word, he always worried about that, but Connor couldn’t ignore this internal ache any longer. He hated having to confront his emotions, quite annoying.

With a slow nod of acceptance, he felt the cold gaze he’d been sporting for months start to ease up a bit. Only for Nines he knew, but it eased nonetheless. Nines gave him such a blinding smile. It made him realize he also honestly missed seeing him look so happy. Nines had only mustered awkward, sad smiles ever since Connor hard blocked everyone. That jealousy still flickered as always, but he didn’t want it ruining the moment so another ignore was placed.

“May I give you a hug?” was asked, catching Connor again by surprise. He nodded without hesitation, it’s been forever since he got a hug and those were so rare in the first place. Instantly, two arms circled around him and pulled him close to a shirt that had so many colors they gave Hank’s a run for their money. The effect of the hug was instant as he practically slumped against the other. His arms weakly clung to the back of Nines’ shirt as he let himself soak in the embrace. A voice in the back of his head started saying how weak and pitiful he was being, clinging so childishly to another like this, but the comfort of it all washed those words away. He didn’t expect himself to feel so safe here. He hadn’t realized just how desperate he was for some sort of comforting touch after so long.

They stayed like that, hugging on the couch for some time until Connor awkwardly let go. He didn’t truly want to, but he was sure that he had gone beyond what was socially acceptable in hugging time as is. He didn’t look at Nines for a second or two trying to reel in his thoughts to begin explaining.

“Yes… What happened today has happened.. Before,” he began going back to fidgeting with his forgotten beanie, “But it’s never happened while I was at work. That was a new development.”

“Do you know why?”

“I’m not fairly certain. It began when I moved into this apartment. Hank had called me asking where I was. He said something that made me react… very negatively and I suddenly found myself almost drifting off and losing time. When it happened then, I was overwhelmed, but I kept finding myself drifting off again even when nothing was actively bothering me,” he wasn’t sure what he should omit in his retelling, Nines most likely needed to know all that he could to help him. Yet, he found himself still hesitating on sharing anything too personal. He knows Nines is making attempts here to help, but he still can’t just trust him.

Nines seemed to hesitate a bit, “What do you mean by actively bothering you, Con?”

Connor went back to staying quiet, not ready to admit the depths of his emotional distress especially when it was a bit inflicted from his own actions. If he admitted to that, then he was admitting to being wrong and messing up. He can’t just admit to failure like that. (Not with the blocked garden looming in his systems).

Nines didn’t push, for now he guessed, and instead changed topics.

For the rest of the day they talked about whatever and Connor even chuckled once. He felt significantly lighter while spending time with Nines. He even noticed how Nines was being more almost receptive to him. Before he was always nice but it was stilted, unsure if what he said landed well with Connor. It felt more natural this time, he felt more lively and responded to Connor’s dry jokes and sass. Only Hank knew how to truly conversate with him prior (sometimes Connor didn’t get Hank’s jokes, but Hank never took it to heart nor teased him too harshly about it. It was a nice change of pace).

Overall, despite how weird the day was, it was.. Good, yes good. After bidding Nines goodnight, he even had the lowest number of recall “nightmares” in months.

#i write #dbh #detroit: become human #connor rk800 #connor rk900 #connor angst #connor whump

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