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axelsagewrites · 8 months

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Aemond Targaryen*Missed You

Pairing: modern!Aemond x f!reader

Word count: 2693

Part two to Poloraids smut

Warnings: teasing, semi public grinding, make out, dry humping, nipple play, roleplay, dom Aemond, p in v sex, smut 18+

Masterlist here

After Aemond’s risky phone call on Tuesday you spent the next three days desperately waiting for him to arrive. You made sure to send him the remaining polaroid express the next morning per his request but now all you had to do was wait.

Three days had never felt so long but as you sat in your Friday classes your mind was anywhere but the class material. All your kind could do was think about all the things you missed about Aemond. His smell, his tight hugs, his laugh, his adorable smile, and of course his hands all over your body.

"Well, I think that about covers chapter 16," your lecturer said as the slides flickered off and the classroom went dim as everyone began to pack up, "Have a good weekend everyone and don't forget your papers due on Tuesday next week,"

Unlike your fellow classmates who groaned at the idea of studying over the weekend you didn't care as you'd done it all in the past couple nights as a way to distract yourself from your impending visit. You quickly rushed from your lecture hall to your dorm, saying a very hurried goodbye to your friends who all had been made aware of Aemond’s visit and wolf whistled as you ran out the class.

As you arrived at your dorm you saw your roommate sara putting on her makeup at her desk that acted as her vanity. “You are going out tonight?” You asked, trying to seem casual as you unpacked your bag.

She hummed her yes as she finished applying her lipstick, “Yeah, are you needing the room tonight?”

“Well, it’s just,” you said as you felt your face grow hot. You weren’t sure why the idea of admitting you wanted her gone to get laid was so embarrassing, but you found yourself tripping over your words, “It’s just cause Aemond, my boyfriend, I told you about him I think, well he’s coming over so like I just wanted to know- “you rambled as sara spun round in her chair, mouth dropped before quickly turning into a smile.

“The dorm is yours tonight,” she grinned as she jumped out her chair, “Its about time you got some, look at you go,” she said as she shoved your shoulder with a jokey grin that at least helped settle your nerves. “Sit, sit,” she said as she led you over to her desk chair, “When does he get here? How much time do I have?”

“Time? For what?” You asked as you quickly checked Aemond’s text, “He said he’s like an hour away,”

Sara sighed, placing her hands on your shoulders, “I can do it in 40 minutes. We gotta make you look good. You’ve not seen him in how long?”

“Four weeks,” you said with a deflated sigh, “It’s been hell,”

“Just trust me. Im gonna have you looking gorg for him getting here,” sara said as she began to take your hair out your pony and get to work. You hadn’t expected to become close with sara after your first week here but surprisingly as she did your hair and makeup you seemed to click instantly. Finally, something in common you thought but also wow she was doing a good job.

For the first time in the month, you had been here you got dolled up and now you remembered why it felt so good, “Right im gonna go now so you can get changed and be all hot and ready for Aemond,” Sara said as she snatched up her bag, “i’ll just crash at Jaces so yous will have the place to yourselves,”

“Thanks, you’re the best,” you said as you stared at yourself in the mirror.

“I know,” sara grinned as she headed to the door, “Have fun and be safe. This room can’t fit a crib,”

You laughed as she shut the door before turning towards your drawers to fish out some lingerie. Aemond had made comment over the phone that the dark red bodysuit looked particularly hot so that was a no brainer. After that you quickly slipped his hoodie over the top and before eventually deciding on a plaid skirt to complete the academic aesthetic you had tried to achieve at college. As you slipped the skirt on your phone buzzed.

Aem - Just parked outside your building love. Where should I go?

You – i’ll meet you down there 2 secs Aemy

You quickly grabbed your keys and phone before practically sprinting to the elevator. When you finally got outside your eyes scanned the parking lot and you instantly grinned when you saw Aemond stood leaning on his car he had affectionally named Vhagar. You could see his smile from the steps of your building when he spotted you rushing down the steps.

“Hey- “Aemond went to say as you flung yourself into his arms and he began to chuckle as he wrapped them tight around you, “i’ve missed you too sweetheart,” he said, kissing the top of your head.

After a few moments you pulled back, your eyes slightly glazed over despite him finally being here, “Im so happy you came,”

“Me too love,” Aemond said softly as he gave you the first kiss in a month. It was slow and soft and perfect but not what you wanted to do in the middle of a parking lot, “Lets head in love,” Aemond said, reading your mind as you began to lead him to the doors. “You look stunning by the way,” Aemond said as he held the front door open for you.

You giggled as if it was your first date as you lead him to the elevator, “You’re gonna make me blush,” you laughed as you pressed the button to the fifth floor.

Aemond moved to step behind you as the doors shut and you gasped when you felt his hands suddenly grab your hips, pulling your ass to grind into his now apparent hard on, “Maybe I like it when you blush,” he said, leaning down to let his breath fan against your ear.

“What if the door opens!” You squealed, moving to push his hands away but he slipped them down only to slip them up under your skirt.

“How can you look that good and expect me not to touch you?” He asked, kissing your earlobe as his hands squeezed your upper thighs, “You’ve got me hard just from looking at you love,” he said, his hand ghosting over your panties, “You shouldn’t be such a tease,” Aemond said despite his fingers now rubbing over your clothed clit making you whine lowly.

The growing want in your stomach outweighed any risk in your mind as you counted the floors you passed. Luckily as each floor passed the doors did not open but as you passed the fourth floor you used all your will to shove his hands off just before the door opens.

And thank the gods you did as the door opened and you were stood face to face with your RA Cregan Stark who would have defiantly torn you a new one for doing that in an elevator. You quickly rushed out of the elevator, Aemond keeping close behind you to try hide his hard on for any passersby. You quickly unlocked your door and shut it even quicker behind Aemond as you were both finally alone. You turned your back for a moment to lock the door and as soon as you turned back Aemond’s hands were cupping your face, stepping closer till your back was against the door. His lips crashed onto yours and wordlessly you both knew what the other wanted.

Your hands tangled in that soft white hair you had missed so dearly while Aemond took the opportunity to slip his hands up your skirt once more. You gasped as he grabbed your ass, squeezing it tightly as he began to grind his cock into you, desperate for friction.

Aemond’s hands only left your ass to slip under the hoodie but as he felt the soft lacey fabric he pulled back with a cocky grin. “What’s this? He asked as he suddenly pulled the hoodie from your frame. The cool air hitting your nipples made them instantly perk as Aemond’s hands ran up your sides before landing on your breasts. “So, fucking hot,” he muttered as his lips crashed back onto yours, this time hungrier if that was possible as he began to squeeze your tits. “Such a fucking tease,” he mumbled against your lips.

You whined into the kiss as your hands to fell to his shoulders, pulling at the collar of his top. Aemond broke the kiss for only a moment to pull it off, tossing it to some corner of the room as his lips latched onto your neck. You moaned as he began to suck soft hickeys down your neck while his fingers began to trace the outline of your nipples. “Been dreaming about this,” he said as he left another hickey just under your collar bone, “squeezing these,” he said, his fingers beginning to roll your nipples between them making you gasp, “and fucking that desperate little pussy of yours,”

You whined as one of his hands moved to rub your clothed clit. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you? Fuck that cunt of yours till you can’t walk,” he said, his movements speeding up, “Isn’t that right princess?”

“Yes,” you said, not caring to hide your moans as you felt the pleasure bubbling in your stomach, “Please Aemond,” you began to beg, “I can’t wait any longer,”

“Naughty girls have to wait,” Aemond chastised, a smirk mixed between his desperate kisses, “Good girls earn what they get,” He said as he began to walk backwards, one hand gripping your hip tightly.

You moaned into the kiss, desperately following his steps to what you thought would be the bed, but you gasped as Aemond suddenly sat down, pulling you to straddle his lap on your desk chair. You whined when he moved his hand, but Aemond soon pulled you closer till you were grinding desperately onto his covered hard on.

You heard Aemond’s grunts and groans as the friction increased. His hands squeezed your hips tightly, grabbing your ass till you wondered if his fingerprints left bruises. “You want my cock?” Aemond asked, his breath rugged as you desperately nodded, “Then be a good girl and earn it,” he said, gently pushing your hips back.

You blushed as you quickly slipped off the chair making Aemond smirk in satisfaction as you took your place between his knees, “That’s my good girl,” Aemond said as your hands quickly undid his trousers. You pulled his trousers and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring out. It was already red around the tip, desperate for your touch as it twitched when you reached up to stroke it gently, “You wanna suck it baby?” He asked making you nod shyly, not even glancing up at him as your eyes were stuck on his length, “Okay love,” Aemond said, his hand moving to the back of your neck to gently guide you forward.

You started with a few kitten licks, just enough to make Aemond moan under his breath. Your hands moved to hold the bottom of his shaft as you slowly began to take him in your mouth. Aemond groaned as he felt his tip slip in, his hand resting on your head as the other clenched so hard his knuckles were white as you started to increase your pace. You reached your hands up to gently squeeze his balls making Aemond curse under his breath, his hand tightens in your hair, “Fuck you’re so good,” Aemond moaned before suddenly pulling you off with a pop as salvia covered his still hard cock, “Can’t cum yet baby. Didn’t come all this way to lose it in your mouth,” he said as he stood up, holding you by your jaw to gently lift you too.

Aemond lent down, kissing you deeply as he walked you back till your thighs hit your desk. You could feel yourself get wetter with excitement when you remembered how often he had brought up this very moment. Aemond pushed your hips, urging you to sit on the desk to which you gladly complied. His hands dug into the flesh of your hips as his tongue slid into the messy kiss.

Aemond pulled back for just a moment to grab his cock, sliding his tip slowly up your slit, “This is what you’ve been thinking of right?” Aemond said, smirking as you moaned, “Me fucking your brains out on this desk. Like some kinky professor roleplay. You even dress like the naughty schoolgirl,” he said, his fingers toying with the hem of your skirt before slipping under to squeeze your thighs, “You’re dripping at just the idea,” he said as he ran a finger up your slit, pushing your panties to the side.

“Please,” you whined as you began to press kisses along that hard jaw you had missed so much, “please sir fuck me already,” you said as your fingernails dug into his shoulders.

You practically saw his face light up at the idea, “All you had to do was asked baby,” he said before slowly pushing his tip in, going as slow as possible to stretch you out, “Aw does it hurt?” Aemond said, fake pout on his perfect lips as he noticed your gasps. You bit your lip, nodding slowly as you tried to ease in the cock you had been desperate for weeks, “Too bad,” Aemond said before suddenly pushing all the way in.

You gasped but Aemond did not wait as he began his thrusts. His hands grabbed your hips for control as you sunk your fingers into his hair, pulling his lips to yours to try disguise your moans. You knew it probably did little since with each thrust the desk hit against the wall harder. All you could do was hope everyone was at class and wrap your legs around Aemond’s hips to pull him in deeper.

Aemond groaned at the new depth as he moved one of his hands to your mouth, shoving two fingers in making you look at him doe eyed, “Suck,” he commanded, his breath hoarse. He moaned as you complied, swirling your tongue around his digits before he pulled them out only to start rubbing quick circles onto your clit making your breath catch.

Aemond covered your loud moans with his kiss as you felt your body tighten, your orgasm not far away. Aemond’s spare hand moved to squeeze your tit before his fingers began to squeeze your nipples.

You felt your nails scraping down his skin, your body tightening as you felt your orgasm crash through your body. Aemond groaned as your cunt squeezed around his cock, his thrusts becoming quicker and sloppier as he chased his own peak. As Aemond fucked you through your orgasm he soon reached his, spilling inside you as he gasped for air.

Aemond’s head crashed down onto your shoulder, and you could feel the sweat covering his skin. “Thank god for the pill,” You muttered, a dazed smile on your face making Aemond laugh against you skin.

Aemond kissed your shoulder before pulling out of you, grabbing a box of tissues sat on your desk to clean you up, “I missed you,” he said, his gaze soft as he stroked your cheek.

“I missed you too,” you said, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him into a deep hug. “I hope I didn’t scratch too hard,” you said as your eyes landed on the scratches inked into his skin.

Aemond chuckled as he tightened his arms around your frame, “It was worth it baby. So fucking worth it,”

“Worth it enough for a round two?” You asked, pulling away with a raised eyebrow.

You gasped as Aemond suddenly pulled you from the desk, shoving you to land on your bed with a giggle, “Oh more than just two rounds doll. Just you wait and see,”

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @ammo23 @thatsgayyouknow

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 3 months

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do you think if succession war between aegon II and rhaenyra never happened, would it have happened between jacaerys and aegon III?

would daemon really allow jace to be king because his daughter would be queen?

Hi eve! I could easily go off on so many tangents about Daemon and Aegon III and Jace, but I think the question has a pretty simple answer: yes, a war is inevitable if Rhaenyra or Jace inherits, and if not between Jace and Aegon III, then between Jace any one of the seven remaining trueborn male claimants.

First, I think Daemon's role in Jace's possible succession issues is overstated. Could he arrange three very convenient accidental deaths for the oldest boys to make sure that Aegon III is set up to inherit whether Daemon himself is alive to see it or not? Sure. But he also did not do this to any of Alicent's children, instead he waited to see if Rhaenyra and Aegon would fight. My gut feeling is that by the time Daemon is in his 50s, he just does not care enough. Will he feed Aegon III the idea that he should be the heir, that he has more Valyrian blood, he's trueborn, etc.? Likely. But I think Daemon would leave it up to Aegon III to fight for it, rather than conveniently clearing his way. That said, the fact remains that Daemon could drop dead the day after Rhaenyra took the throne, and there would still be people who would find it advantageous to align themselves with one of the trueborn claimants to the throne. Jace's problems do not begin or end with Daemon.

Keep in mind, this is the argument Criston Cole used to convince Aegon II to fight. It's often conflated in the fandom with "Rhaenyra will kill your family to secure her reign," but interestingly, Criston says that all of the king's trueborn sons have a better claim than Rhaenyra's "brood of bastards," that is, he frames the real threat as occurring when a bastard attempts to inherit ahead of trueborn sons, and although it's not relevant to Criston's point so he doesn't mention it, of course Aegon III and Viserys II are included in this number. Now, unlike most of the fandom, Criston frames this threat as coming from the bastards towards the trueborn sons, rather than the trueborn sons towards the bastards, which is convenient for convincing Aegon, but also happens to be a good point. Daemon and/or Aegon III don't have to have Jacaerys killed, they simply have to corroborate the story that Jace is a bastard, and press Aegon III as a claimant. At that point, Jace can either admit to being a bastard and step aside, or go to war. And it doesn't have to be Aegon III. If there is no Dance, there are still seven trueborn sons and grandsons of Viserys who can raise a legitimate challenge to Jace's claim (and disclaimers apply about bastardy being a construct, no one can prove it etc. etc., but once Rhaenyra, Corlys, and Viserys are dead, it becomes much more difficult for Jace to defend himself against those claims). And this is in essence why it was absolutely insane of Viserys to overlook this issue, but that's a different tangent.

That's the problem with a lot of the arguments that Alicent "lied," or poisoned her kids against Rhaenyra and her kids, that Rhaenyra never would have hurt her brothers, Daemon never would turn against Jace, that Aegon III loves his brother, or what have you. Rhaenyra, Daemon, Jace, and Aegon III do not even have to be the ones who personally initiate violence against their rivals, Rhaenyra, whose claim is already non-traditional, has built her line of succession on shaky grounds. At any time during Rhaenyra's reign, or after she dies, or during Jace's reign, or his son's reign, if the lords of the realm are unhappy for whatever reason, they have a perfect pretext to decide that Rhaenyra wasn't the true heir and/or Jace was a bastard all along (take your pick) and the line was illegitimate, and challenge him.

And unfortunately for poor Jace, regardless of whatever loyalties Aegon III might hold for his brother, Aegon II has two trueborn sons who have zero reason to have any affection or regard for cousin Jace. If Aegon II doesn't want to be king, can we be sure his sons don't? And likewise, even if Aegon III is loyal to Jace, can we be certain his sons will love their uncle and cousins as much as he does? Jace is not stupid and a lot can happen in a decade or two! This is why, even though it's also true that Otto and Alicent probably would have tried to put Aegon II on the throne regardless, Criston's argument that anyone who stands in Jace's way will have to be eliminated (by Jace and whoever upholds him as the true heir) in order for his succession to be clear, is the one that convinces Aegon II. Because it's true, and if Jace does not eliminate the potential rivals, at some point someone will challenge that line, and the result will be as devastating as the Dance.

#asks #aegon iii targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #aegon ii targaryen #daemon targaryen #anti team black #team green #i hate tagging it like that because it's just a discussion #but i also don't really need people yelling at me about how rhaenyra or daemon or aegon iii would never

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presidenthades · 3 months

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Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 5!

(Using the “Book of Clarence” GIF because I just watched it today.)

For this chapter’s title, I picked the Warrior lyrics from “The Song of the Seven” because toward the end, Jace has to pick up a blade (so to speak) and physically defend herself for the first time in her life.

Chapter content warnings also apply for this commentary, since we’re talking about the same topics.

Aegon seems like he’d be an oversharer when he’s emotional. Just get everything off his chest, either as a form of catharsis or in the hopes of receiving validation, or both. I feel like Aegon is capable of having an excellent poker face (useful for gambling), but TGC puts so much emotion into Aegon’s every expression that it makes me think Aegon chooses to wear his heart on his sleeve. Everyone has already made up their minds about him so why try to pretend to be something he’s not?

Jace doesn’t like being idle, and Aegon’s speech is very very long. So she keeps her hands busy, and her instinct is to clean up Aegon’s face 🥺.

I was debating whether Jace forgives Aegon too easily, since she was very upset earlier. But Jace is generally quick to forgive, and she now has the missing pieces of the story. The drafts I wrote where she continued to be angry at Aegon made her seem unreasonable, and she isn’t the kind of person to value a feast/public appearance over innocent lives. But she is the kind of person to worry about lot (at times unnecessarily), so that becomes the new thing she fixates upon. Aegon and Aemond were a bit reckless, and of course Jace is going to focus on the worst possible scenario that could’ve happened.

Aegon sees Jace as perfect and himself as the total opposite, so he blames himself instead of Jace. But Jace isn’t afraid to do some introspection and examine herself for flaws—in fact, she often thinks about what she did wrong and could do better next time. And because Aegon is an oversharer, she picked up on his feelings of being neglected, even if he didn’t explicitly state them, and she’s able to put herself in his shoes. So they have a little marital spat, as every couple does, but they’re able to work through it without dragging it out unnecessarily long. Neither of them is looking to “win” the argument, they just want to put it behind them and return to their usual state of contentment.

Jace’s line about Aegon not being a beggar waiting for scraps of her time resonates with him. A variation of it pops up again in Chapter 10 when he makes his resolution to play the game.

The “send me a note so I know where you are if you need rescuing” line is foreshadowing Jace’s kidnapping. She sends him a sort-of note in the form of the necklace she gives to the Garden girl Liane. And “that’s what guards are for” highlights how Jace isn’t a fighter. She’s a lady/product of her society and upbringing, and nobody—herself included—expects her to pick up a sword if there’s trouble.

I wanted Jace to explicitly say “I’m proud of you” because that’s the kind of validation Aegon lives for, and she knows his love languages. Honestly these two have a mutual praise kink

The original draft had Jace being jealous and telling Aegon to get rid of the brothel, but the jealousy ended to seeming kind of petty, so I deleted that bit. Jace doesn’t want her husband to own a brothel (people are always going to assume he’s patronizing his own business), but now that they’ve had a chat, she feels very secure in his affections. Also, when they have more time to think about it, I think they both realize that hastily offloading the brothel to the first person who’ll buy it could potentially go very badly; if the buyer is a nasty person, the girls there probably suffer. Hence, Aegon’s hands-off, “I’ll pretend it doesn’t exist” managerial style.

Jace is usually very self-conscious about her body, but this is an era where it’s normal for royals/nobles to be assisted while bathing and it isn’t sexual at all. So she mentally compartmentalizes it differently than, say, bathing with her husband. Aegon is aware of this, but he likes teasing Jace 😛. (I’m sure he actually has caught Sabitha, who supposedly likes women in F&B, admiring Jace a few times, but otherwise Sabitha knows how to be professional.)

Aegon genuinely cannot comprehend the idea of Jace being unattractive. Bless him.

When Aegon pauses over Jace’s stomach, he he realizes it wasn’t just Jace waiting for him tonight but also his unborn child. Jace’s earlier words about him endangering himself really hit him, and he has a little growth moment where he realizes he can’t just act like a reckless bachelor but has to think more about his growing family as he runs around the city.

Like most Targs, Aegon is officially raised as a member of the Faith but he doesn’t really believe in it. Meanwhile Jace does have sincerely held beliefs which are pretty standard for the time. It should be remembered that historically, religion was more widespread and important in daily life, and going to weekly services would’ve been the minimum expectation.

In the show, Rhaenyra is portrayed as not even knowing how to pray at age 14, which was an odd writing decision IMO. Religion is pretty engrained into medieval society, and Aemma is from the Vale, which is a region that strongly worships the Seven. So even if you argue that Viserys didn’t care much about Rhaenyra’s spirituality, I’m sure Aemma did. Rhaenyra doesn’t seem to believe in the Faith at all, but she can still perform the outward motions of belief while being agnostic inside. So in my version of events, Rhaenyra arranges the typical education for her children, which includes a septa (especially important to girls) and the in-world equivalent of Sunday school, even if she isn’t going to otherwise encourage them to pay heed to religion. But because Jace is a very good girl, she paid attention to all the lectures. Hence, Jace and Aegon’s very different reactions to his blasphemy.

Anyway, I hope I made it obvious with all the religious dirty talk and innuendos, but this smut scene is intended to show that Aegon literally worships Jace 😇.

Rhaena hasn’t heard about the Targbros’ adventures yet, so from her perspective, Aegon has miraculously managed to talk himself back into Jace’s bed after a colossal fuckup. No wonder she’s exasperated lol

Aegon doesn’t usually read for pleasure, but he’ll make an exception for trashy erotica 💋.

The garden party scene is an appetizer to how Jace and Aegon can work together to manipulate the courtiers if they’re so inclined. Most of the plan was Jace’s idea, but Aegon was definitely the one who suggested showing off the hickeys. And he ad libbed licking his finger 😛.

There was originally supposed to be a comedic sequence where the story of the Targbros’ heroics wins them a lot of fan girls. Since Aegon is married, most of the ladies begin obsessing over Aemond, who literally runs away from his admirers and at one point just straight up leaves for Driftmark for an extended visit. Alas, it didn’t fit in the chapter—but I might retell it from Aemond’s POV in the next fic LOL.

As Aegon starts hearing the petitions and doing more investigating, we see that he might not be as averse to duty/responsibility as he claims. He’s averse to feeling unappreciated, and since the smallfolk are very appreciative of his help, he keeps doing the petitions.

Aegon assumes that the Tyroshi does the reasonable thing and flees Westeros when he has the chance. Unfortunately, we shall see that the Tyroshi is not a man driven by reason.

Now that our couple have recalibrated so Jace isn’t overworking herself, Aegon feels less like he’s competing for her attention so he’s able to open himself up to impending fatherhood. A lot of his growth in this regard is a gradual process, not a huge eureka moment, and he’s still working on it when we get his POV again in Chapter 6. But he develops the new habit of communing with the baby because he wants to try, even if he still isn’t sure he’ll be any good at fatherhood. At the very least, he knows he doesn’t want to make his child feel neglected by his father, as Aegon felt growing up. And because Aegon spends so much time talking and singing to the baby, Cheeseball essentially comes out of the womb recognizing his father’s voice 🥹.

Aegon does still have some hangups. He acts a bit weird during the name talk because he thinks he would prefer a daughter. Similar to Laenor, Aegon thinks a daughter would be easier because in his mind, he’s imagining a mini-Jace whom he can spoil. Also, daughters tend to be raised more by their mothers and he thinks Jace would do great. But fathers are supposed to be more involved with sons, and Aegon thinks he’ll be a bad influence. So he’s still trying to wrestle with those feelings.

Gyles is NOT a good businessman. There’s no way he could ever recoup the costs of shipping cheese from the Vale just through selling pies. He’s lucky he found a royal patron 😂.

In an early draft, I had the baby’s name down as “Rhaenor” so it could simultaneously honor Laenor and Rhaenys. Then I started doing High Valyrian on Duolingo and I noticed there were words like aegion (iron) and rhaenagon (to find), which had the same roots as some Targ names. I developed a theory that the Targ names are supposed to have some kind of meaning, just like how our real world names have meanings (the High Valyrian creator David Peterson basically confirmed my theory on tumblr when I asked in December). So I began hunting through an online Valyrian dictionary for other roots. At first I wanted to use the word for gold, but that’s aeksion and I couldn’t think of a pleasant sounding name based on it. Then I stumbled across the words eleni and elenar, music and tide respectively, and that was PERFECT for a baby who’s part-Velaryon and has a daddy who likes to sing to them. And it sounds really nice! I played around with some name suffixes (Elenaron, Elenarys) but I liked the original word the best. I decided that instead of continuing to use the same dozen Targ names, or mixing up different name prefixes and suffixes, Jace picks a new name for her child which symbolizes that her reign/generation is going to do things differently, while still paying homage to their ancestors by continuing to use a Valyrian name.

The above then led me to exploring potential meanings for Jacaerys/Jacaera and Lucerys/Lucera. They’re supposed to be traditional Velaryon names, and Velaryon names seem to be mildly “corrupted” forms of Valyrian with some Westerosi influence, so I gave myself a little more liberty with picking origin words. I imagine Jacaerys/Jacaera as derived from jaes (goddess), which Rhaenyra picks after Laenor’s comment (and I guess it’s even more fitting with all of Aegon’s blasphemy and worship 🙈), while Lucerys/Lucera is derived from lyka (quiet, silent, calm). For our Lucera, it’s an ironic name because she’s the complete opposite, but Rhaenyra picked it because of lykiri (a dragon command we see in the show, “calm down”).

I wanted to emphasize Jace’s loving, pampered environment during the first half of the chapter. She’s in her element when she’s inside the castle, but if you take her out of her natural environment, she has no idea what to do. She’s also never truly been alone in her life. She’s always with her husband, family, or ladies, and even if she’s alone in a room, there are plenty of guards and servants nearby. When she’s kidnapped later, it’s the first time she actually has to figure out what to do with no help whatsoever. And she’s jumping from her life of backrubs and hot baths to walking alone in the rain with only one shoe.

The second half of chapter 5 was originally VERY different. It was actually supposed to start with Jace and Aegon having a Jasmine/Aladdin-esque “whole new world” adventure where Aegon shows her around the city during a weeklong festival, then later their siblings all want to join the fun, and it spirals into the Tyroshi grabbing Jace. I even wrote out the whole thing…and then I realized how idiotic everyone was acting 🥲. When you have Jace, Aemond, and Rhaena in the group, somebody would’ve mentioned how reckless the outing was, and I just couldn’t go through with all the Targkids being willfully blind to the risks of sneaking out to the city. Afterwards, there’s a scene with Viserys yelling at them all for being so stupid and endangering an entire generation of Targs, and then he decides to put 100% of the blame on Aegon. I actually really liked the confrontation between Viserys and Aegon, but I couldn’t keep the “family outing” plot, so I had to get rid of that aftermath scene too. I might be able to reuse it one day in another setting though.

Instead I went with the Sept outing in the final version. Jace does everything right, but unfortunately the grippe (a medieval illness that was probably the flu) strikes the entire Kingsguard. I’m a firm believer in writers being able to use luck/coincidence to get characters IN trouble (as long as it’s believable, and it’s super easy for the flu to spread among seven dudes living in a frat house!, but not out of it. And this definitely gets our characters in trouble. Without the grippe, Jace still would’ve had other guards at the sept, but a Kingsguard would’ve been in charge and more competently handled the bathroom trip. Instead she gets a less experienced knight, whom Viserys picked to be in charge probably because of a combination of vibes and politics. The Grand Sept is a normal and frequent destination for royal outings, and Jace is very popular with the city’s people, so nobody is expecting trouble.

I invented Maiden and Mother’s Day as a two-day holiday, so that there’s an explanation for the Tyroshi being able to suss out Jace’s plans. On day 1, he observes the guards not following her to the septas’ quarters and figures out she’s likely to repeat the pattern on day 2; it’s pretty common knowledge that heavily pregnant women need to use the bathroom often. And I added the growing crowd of beggars receiving alms to show that Jace’s outing is far from a secret from the public. On the contrary, in addition to the religious stuff, it’s another PR opportunity.

I kept Sabitha and Rhaena back from the outing, because all six ladies really would have been too much for the Tyroshi and his henchwoman to overcome. Also, Sabitha canonically takes up arms during the Dance, and I think she would’ve walloped the Tyroshi. Rhaena isn’t a fighter, but her presence alone would’ve impacted the odds, and her absence allowed me to play with some tension between her and Jace later. (And yes, Helaena was getting some bad omens about the outing. But as I’ve said before, I think her visions operate on vague vibes, so she knows something bad is coming but not what exactly it is.)

The Garden madam doesn’t immediately leave Westeros because she’s lured into a false sense of security after the Targbros raid the warehouse. She’s taking her time planning her trip to the Summer Islands or wherever she wants to retire when the Tyroshi—who’s pretty cunning and knows she snitched on him—leaps back into her life and takes her brother hostage. Considering how brutally the Tyroshi has killed other people in the past—and she has firsthand knowledge of Daisy—she’s too afraid to risk angering him further by trying to report to the Targs or anything like that. And she is very close to the bottom of society; really poor smallfolk like her don’t think that royalty are going to pay any attention to them, even if she wanted to try sending a message. So she’s just in this to try to save herself and her brother. All the descriptions about her odd behavior and cosmetics are to foreshadow that something isn’t right, and she’s not a normal septa.

I got snarky feedback from someone who thought it was stupid that the Tyroshi didn’t immediately kill Jace and that the ladies didn’t immediately scream for help, and apparently they were hoping for a red wedding scene 💀. Idk about other people, but if I were reading a fic tagged with fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort, and “detour into drama and angst,” I would honestly be quite mad if one of the narrators/ship characters/a pregnant girl died horribly on screen, and there was nothing in the tags or chapter notes to warn for it. ANYWAY, here’s my unnecessarily long rebuttal of that reader’s feedback about my characters 😇.

The Tyroshi’s goal isn’t to assassinate Jace, it’s to get revenge on Aegon, against whom he’s developed a vendetta. He is a sadist and sociopath. This was already seen in how he treated Old Willow and Daisy in Chapter 4. Instead of just killing them, he drew out their deaths with horrible torture and abuse. His plan to take Jace so he can extend the torment Aegon feels is in character with what little we know of him so far, and we haven’t even gotten to the convos with him in Chapters 6 and 7. Sure, he could’ve just slit Jace’s throat and that would’ve been ample revenge against Aegon. But if he’s going to go through so much trouble to get his hands on Jace, he’s going to make it worth his time. And he’s very confident he’ll succeed, which he would have done if Jace didn’t have a secret weapon. Also, he quickly becomes interested in Jace as soon as he talks to her, so his desire to kill her goes down sharply.

As for the ladies’ reactions: like Jace, they’re all pampered girls who’ve never had to deal with real problems before. They’ve always had other people, like guards and servants, to deal with problems for them. This is a very shocking situation that they are in no way prepared for, and it’s natural for them to have have a moment where they’re trying to comprehend that Sara just died. This is definitely the case for Jace, who is initially too tongue-tied to do or say anything.

Why don’t they instinctively scream? I’ll address each of the girls below, but there are some answers that apply to everyone. There’s a saying “fight or flight,” but it’s more accurate to say “fight or flight or freeze.” All the girls are initially defaulting to freeze, and this includes their mouths/throats; their bodies/instincts are telling them to stay still and silent so they don’t draw more attention to themselves.

The Tyroshi “immediately” turns on Elinor, who has her inglorious moment. She acts as a selfish coward saving her own skin. I wouldn’t expect her to shout for help from the guards. She’s too busy hiding in the privy and praying the Tyroshi forgets about her.

Floris is 9/10 years old. She’s the youngest of the group, and she takes a lot of cues from the others. She has to be specifically instructed by Bethany to do something before she acts. Think of the bystander effect, and how in modern emergencies, it’s advised that you say “you [specific person], call 911” instead of a generic “somebody call 911.”

Bethany is the likeliest candidate to actually shout for help. If Elinor hadn’t run for the privy, I think that would’ve been Bethany’s next step. But because Elinor abandons Jace, Bethany switches from “freeze” to “fight” since she’s the only person left who can defend Jace (she doesn’t count Floris, who’s too little). I was also hoping that it comes as a pleasant-ish surprise to readers that Bethany actually takes her duty as Jace’s LIW very seriously when it matters. So even though Bethany is very scared, her priority is putting herself in front of Jace. And even though we the readers might be thinking, “This is a logical opportunity for Bethany to shout for help now,” I think most of us overestimate how logical and capable we would be in an emergency. Bethany is only able to think one step at a time, and those steps are 1) protect Jace 2) send Floris to get help. Only after Floris fails does she think of 3) shout for help, when it’s too late.

TLDR all the ladies are acting like the scared girls they are. Everyone reacts differently in an emergency, and it’s easy to provide armchair commentary of “but they SHOULD have done this instead” when the truth is most of us would also probably freak out and act irrationally ☺️.

Notice how the Tyroshi addresses Jace as “Princess Targaryen.” I’m sure he’s learned her name during his surveillance, but he sees her as Aegon’s princess rather than her own person, hence the impersonal address.

Jace’s good manners are so engrained into her that she defaults to using them while in survival mode. And honestly it probably saves her life. If she were rude or mouthy, like Baela, the Tyroshi probably would’ve killed her much faster. Instead he’s intrigued by meeting the epitome of a well-bred princess.

Confession: I originally had Cheeseball kicking in the womb when the Tyroshi touches Jace, which meant the Tyroshi was the first person to feel the baby move. Then I got really angry at myself for writing that, so I changed it and made Aegon the first person to feel the baby in Chapter 6, as he deserves ☺️.

Earlier drafts had Jace conscious while the Tyroshi fled with her from the sept, because I wanted her to drop a trail of cedar beads from Joff’s amulets to help people find her. But if she were conscious, she would’ve tried VERY hard to escape the hay wagon or get passersby’s attention, and it would’ve been really dumb of the Tyroshi to give her that opportunity. So dreamwine and strangulation it is. I highly doubt dreamwine takes effect instantly, so I added the strangulation part to speed things up. I did think very hard about how strangulation can cause miscarriage, but Jace proves to be a lot tougher than expected, as does Cheeseball, and it’s not a guarantee of miscarriage. Now, I don’t know for sure if dreamwine plus a moment of strangulation would actually cause Jace to black out and remain unconscious for hours, BUT dreamwine is fictional and you can only google so many things about strangulation, so we’re just going to say it works.

Jace uses the dragonglass from Joff’s amulet for a girl-child. Jace is a girl, so in a way, the amulet’s protection works even though Joff had a different target in mind 🥲.

Initially, Jace is hoping somebody miraculously comes to her rescue, because she’s been raised to expect that someone will always be around to help her. But it’s just her 🥺.

The Tyroshi’s inspection of Jace’s features is intended to be very uncomfortable and to show that he sees her as an object, albeit one to be admired. He compares her features to various Tyrosh-related things because he’s already thinking about bringing her back to Tyrosh, so he’s kind of justifying it in a “she clearly belongs in Tyrosh” way.

In case it isn’t clear, he wants her gown because he intends to wrap the baby in it for Aegon to find 🙁.

The Tyroshi has decided he enjoys cosplaying as a courtier and princess engaging in courtly love/romance, hence his very polite mannerisms. Jace senses this is what he’s up to so she plays along.

The Tyroshi is convinced he can keep Jace alive (as he says, he’s done this before), but it is REALLY dangerous for Jace to have moon tea so late in pregnancy. In ASOIAF, Lysa Tully almost dies and has fertility issues when she’s forced to drink moon tea, and I suspect she was earlier in her pregnancy than Jace. So even if Jace survived (big if), her health would never be the same. (Would be an interesting succession crisis issue, but I can’t bring myself to write that AU.)

Laenor in the afterlife is so happy that his advice about rivers helps save his firstborn 🥹.

I just want to point out that it’s REALLY fricking dark where Jace is. There’s absolutely no light other than the occasional lightning, and the light pollution from the city is minimal since we’re in an era where lighting at night is expensive and firelight only. Girl is operating on hopes and prayers and thoughts of her husband right now. TBH if I were in her place, I’d just give up and cry 🥲. But even though Jace is pampered and gentle, she’s surprisingly resilient, and she has her baby to think about. I mentioned earlier that Jace has never truly been alone before until now, but she actually has Cheeseball to keep her company, and I think that helps her keep going until she reaches civilization.

#my writing #meta #house of the dragon meta #hotd meta #fanfic meta #aegon ii targaryen #female jacaerys velaryon #the golds

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allyriadayne · 2 months

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when you talk abt the gone girl quote wrt jace and aegon, who is doing the talking? (sorry i am confused 😭) as in, jace only liked himself when being someone aegon liked, or aegon only liked himself when being someone jace liked??

both....... i see it this way: jace and aegon are people who hide who they are and how they feel from the people around them. jace does this as a coping mechanism after finding out his whole identity turned out to be fake and he realized the people he loved best lied to him all his life so he doubles down on the fake and overcompensates so he never hears someone saying he's not good enough. aegon like jace, doubles down on the excess and the vice because it hides how he feels: a waste, a drunk, a fool. aegon's perceived openness and obvious show of his activities hides that he feels miserable of course.

when they were companions as children, in jace's case he could let go of being the perfect heir and look up to someone much cooler than him and who would like him if he was more relaxed, open to laugh etc. while aegon obviously liked that someone like jace followed him everywhere and thought the best of him when no one did. even aemond was always a bit skeptical of aegon when he tried to be cool and effortless, but not jace.

so yeah the gone girl quote applies to both, they both liked themselves better when they thought the other might have liked them because it might as well be the best version of themselves.

#ask #anonymous #aegon x jacaerys #aegon ii targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #jacegon hours in my blog

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fromtheboundlesssea · 5 months

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NGNM:

She partially means them, but a lot of it is heat of the moment.

Hanna, my dear, Rhaenor doesn't love any of you, Alicent is stuck, Laena didn't Rhaenor let go for pride and ambition and you.. you could have had a great man and husband, but no, a married man..you thought you were special or something?

Now I can see why she's not remembered well, but worse, she's a backstabber and threw herself to a married man, knowing how Alicent felt about Laena and Rhaenor's affair,how THE WHOLE COURT FELT ABOUT IT; also because for her children's bastardy and monikers, that are huge red flags(Lucerys and Jace's titles are unjust and unworthy)-Tell me about it.

The children nerver had a chance with Larys, Alys and Harwin as role figures; the same applies to Hanna, she loves her children of course,but doesn't hold them accountable of their actions.

The only one who is decent is little Joffrey🥲 funny how he's different from all his family due to not growing up in the red keep, a toxic environment where the adults pit children against each other.

There's a reason why he is remembered as the good🥲

A question: have you already decided who is gonna be the last surviving child of Rhaenor( damn being in the same room with your father who has become mad, a worse maegor and has killed your siblings, children and mothers is gonna be rough; they will be torn between hatred and terror for the red king)

Why does everyone think Rhaenor will survive the Dance? What if he doesn’t?

And yes, I know who survives.

#keep the asks coming #neither gods nor men

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sabineelectricheart · 1 year

Text

Charles is not Pleased

Summary: Emily is getting much too close to Dean Monroe, and Charles is not pleased with this development.

Rating: T - Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

Words: 1000

Notes: Everyone seems to think Charlie’s the stalker these days, so let’s have at it.

Charles is not pleased.

Of all the men he carefully monitored, of all the people living in Sugardale, hell, of all the people in the fucking world, Emily just had to choose the man he absolutely cannot stand? There was literally no other choice? No-one? At all?

He is at a loss for words.

Part of him is rational about the whole ordeal, reasoning that perhaps he was just blind to her feelings all along. He is privy to keeping tabs on her at all times, but maybe he did not pay enough attention when she would be around faculty, and therefore he assumed she was out of risk. The rules that applied to him also applied to them, and therefore he was safe in his assumption that nothing would ever happen, regardless of Alecia’s foray into forbidden relationships.

Perchance, he had been much too zealous in his defence of her purity. He might have used nefarious methods, a disposition that would scare off anyone, and it is expected that she would seek help from someone. He hoped that this someone would be him, but it is still understandable how she went above him for help, as power begets security, and power is something that he lacks.

He must also admit that he was a bit too… Restrictive, when he decided on her circle of friends. He should not have pressured Blair into a breaking point, as then he would have an in, as much as a wild card as she is. Ruby could also be moulded into an acceptable presence, if he put some effort on it, or he could exercise some control over Trish, too. The crux of the matter is that even Jace Miller now seem like an acceptable choice.

Maybe this all was an oversight on his part. This is an outcome he would far prefer, in actuality, as he would have no one to blame but himself.

Besides, it is entirely possible that Emily could find something redeemable in Douglas Monroe, right? He is a well-liked man, there must be something that pleases people on his demeanour. Everyone has admirable qualities, someway, somewhere.

Who is he kidding? This is absolutely pathetic of him. Of course, Charles is not wrong in his actions. He knows that man, he knows what he is capable of, and all he does is with her welfare in mind. The dean certainly cannot boast such a well-intended care to anyone, let alone his side piece.

Doug must have had a hand to play in this. He always has, and he also has a sadistic glee in making him squirm. What fun would there be in just firing him? In just calling the corrupt police that runs this town? That is just boring. To have his work destroyed right in front of him, without him being able to even whimper in protest, that is more the bastard’s style.

Besides, Charles likes to think he knows Emily rather well. After all, aside from the connections at his fingertips, people and software which can find each and every detail about her within a few hours’ time, he is observant to a fault. He picks up on the little things without so much as a word on her part, he knows of her character, and it is clear as day that there is no possible way that such a girl could ever find that foul man attractive, in any sense of the word. Never. Not if he is honest.

So, to not be the slightest bit aware of her unwittingly attraction to Doug is frankly insulting. Surely, she is not skilled enough to hide your emotions that well. She has not been able to hide anything else, how come she would hide such a huge thing out of nowhere.

In front of Doug of all people, too! The man is dean because he has a way to deal with stupid and reckless teenagers, he knows how to put them in line and make them crack. If, at any point, she had been interested in that vile creature, she would have given plenty of signs due to the pressure in his presence alone. This must be a recent development, or they are playing with Charles, there is no other explanation.

Well, there is another explanation, but it feels even more uncomfortable than the idea that he has no control over the situation. The idea that Emily is being manipulated by that man.

It holds water, too. As much as Charles hates to admit it, Doug has a way with getting what he wants. He just wished this is not one of those times.

There is plenty of opportunity for Doug to coerce or trick her into this, and there is plenty of motive, too. It is not as if it has never happened before, it is not as if it would be the first time that he would abuse his privilege to get his dick wet, leaving a poor girl behind to deal with the fallout.

Charles has seen the way women and men alike grow flustered or fidgety when the dean so much as looks their way. He has seen the way Doug lures women into sinful places more often than anyone would care to admit, whether it is to draw information over a few drunken glasses of wine or something more unbecoming.

This is something Charles never dwells on much, because despite all his secrets, a day does not go by without someone praising Dean Monroe. Yet, despite his best efforts to keep her safe from harm’s way, she wandered right into Doug’s grasp when he was distracted.

Of all places Emily could end up at, this is one he cannot interfere. He cannot extricate her from the dean’s hold, no matter how much he may want it, and that is the most frustrating of it all.

Of all the men, of all the people in Sugardale, in the world…

Charles is not pleased.

*_*_*_*_*

College Craze Masterlist

#college craze #Charles McGregor #Doug Monroe

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hannahhook7744 · 2 years

Text

Isle kid incorrect qoutes part 1;

The vks (including ocs) saying Incorrect qoutes because I got bored.

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

---- de Vil cousins group introduction----

Hunter: hi, I'm Hunter de Vil, the oldest. I make the rules.

Ivy: hi, I'm Ivy de Vil, the 2nd oldest. I'm the reasons the rules exist.

Carlos: hi, I'm Carlos de Vil, the youngest. The rules don't apply to me.

Diego: hi, I'm Diego de Vil, the middle child. I'm the one who keeps everyone from killing eachother.

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

---The Stabbington cousins----

Brunet, leaning against a doorframe trying to look causal while out of breath: hey guys, can I chill in here for a bit?

Braids and Nosey, not looking up from what they were doing: you and Cheekbones pissed Greeny off again, didn't you?

Brunet, wincing: no--

Cheekbones, while falling through the window: RUN, SHE'S ONTO US!

Greeny from off in the distance: COME OUT, COME OUT FROM WHERE EVER YOU ARE!

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

Big Murph: I like your pants!

Claudine Frollo: thanks, they were 50% off.

Big Murph: I'd like it better if they were 100% off.

Claudine Frollo: the store can't just give away clothes for free

Big Murph, exasperated: that's not what I meant--

Claudine Frollo: That's a terrible way to run a business Murph!

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

Harry Badun, climbing through Carlos's classroom window: 'los! I need your help! I got stabbed and have lunch with Jace in 30 minutes!

Carlos, in the middle of the test and exasperated: Dude, again?!

The aks and teacher about to have a heart attack: AGAIN?!

Harry, clutching his side: my bad, I was on a case and wasn't careful enough.

Carlos, pulling out a first aid kit: yeah, I can see that!

Harry: less sassing, more stitching please!

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

*Cj and Harry Hook sitting in Jail*

Cj: so who should we call?

Harry: I'd usually say Uma or Harriet but honestly I feel safer in jail.

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

13 year old Anthony Tremaine after getting his ass kicked by Harriet for being an idiot: See, I told you guys, she totally digs me!

The Gaston Twins, LeFou Deux, and Sammy Smee, all sarcastically: sure she does.

Anthony; glad you guys agree!

Sammy, groaning; there's no hope for you.

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

The Smee twins seeing eachother in a mirror for the first time: wow, we're identical.

Dizzy, expressed: you're identical twins, of course your identical.

Hadie: no no, they have a point.

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡

Random Auradon citizen: wow, you two look idenitcal, are you twins?

The Gaston twins*look at him and then at eachother*

Both twins *scream, jump back, and point at eachother * YOU STOLE MY FACE! *run off in opposite directions*

Random Auardon citizen *dumbfounded *

Author's note: if you want me to continue, comment down below. Especially if you have suggestions.

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dontmindmyshadowhunting · 3 years

Text

Meet Drusilla Blackthorn (fan fic)

This is Chap 3 of “Welcome to Faerieland”, a sequel to my Kitty Fan Fic "To never being parted" although it can be read as a standalone story.

I am introducing Dru & Jaime in this Chapter.

And of course, Kit & Ty are being as gooey as ever.

AO3 Link here.

*****

“Look at you trying to flee from the crime scene.”

Jaime startled and his hand froze on the doorknob. He whirled to face Dru, who was watching him with a glitter of amusement in her Blackthorn blue-green eyes. She was lying on her side, arm angled upwards, head on hand. Her large black shirt hugged her soft curves and barely covered her thighs, revealing a criminally vast expanse of her smooth milky skin. A message was printed at the level of her chest. Shadowhunters: Looking Better in Black Than the Widows of our Enemies Since 1234. Apparently, it had been a gift from Jace. Her long dark brown hair was pulled in a braid, crossing over one of her shoulders. He knew from staring at her beautiful face while she was sleeping or otherwise unaware, that tiny freckles sprinkled her rosy cheeks, that her long dark eyelashes - not unlike her brothers’ - followed a perfect curve as if she was constantly wearing mascara and that the luscious red of her full lips deepened when she bit them. As she was doing right now. He gulped and hoped with everything he had that she couldn’t hear the loud thump thump of his frantic heart.

“I am not-”

“Relaaax. You look like you just hid a corpse in the cupboard and are trying to make a run for it.”

How could she not understand? When he had met her three years ago, he had thought she was cute, sweet, funny, dependable and - admittedly - already a badass. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it had occurred but, over time, sincere friendship had turned into deep affection and deep affection had somehow turned into lust and… love? In any case, there definitely was lust. He fought the urge to cross himself reflexively.

She had never looked her age, and that hadn’t changed with the years. She had entirely grown out of her baby fat, her features sharpening and her limbs lengthening, but she still had a voluptuous figure. She looked like a sexy grown woman, and certainly not like a sixteen-year-old girl. But she was, he reminded himself.

Even if the mundane statutory rape laws dit not apply to Shadowhunters, he still felt like he was breaking some kind of unspoken rule, thirsting after a sixteen-year-old. It didn’t help that the package came with an army of very scary brothers. The villains from Dru’s favorite horror movies had nothing on them. The thought of Julian Blackthorn alone discovering the truth was enough to keep him up at night.

“You know what it will look like if I bump into one of your brothers. If they find out I have spent the whole night here…”

“So? Nothing actually happened. And you did nothing wrong except fall asleep in front of “Old Boy”...”

“Dru- I am serious…”

“So am I! This movie is awesome! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Dru…”

Dru sighed and moved to a sitting position against the headboard, knees up, arms encircling her legs. Jaime tried not to stare as her shirt lifted higher over her thighs.

“Jaime. You know what your problem is? You still haven’t gotten into your head that it’s not my brothers you should be afraid of. The Blackthorn women are much scarier.”

“I can believe that…” Jaime muttered under his breath.

“Anyway, don’t worry about them, they’re probably going to sleep in since they’ve been very busy last night. Mark with Cristina, Julian with Emma, and Ty with… Kit.”

Jaime’s eyes widened.

“You think Ty and Kit…?”

Dru lifted both her dark eyebrows at him. “Are you seriously asking me to confirm or elaborate on my brother’s sex life?”

“No, no, of course not…” Jaime felt heat rushing to his cheeks. Why did everyone get to have sex but him? Maybe because you've been pining for a sixteen-year-old for months now, he reminded himself for the thousandth time. He wanted to punch himself.

“Just kidding, Jaime. Look at you blushing… Wait- I hope you don’t have a problem with my brother being with… a guy?”

She suddenly leaned forward, her gaze piercing.

Jaime knew how fiercely protective of her siblings Dru was. She had quite a reputation at the Shadowhunter Academy, as someone not to be messed with or rubbed the wrong way. She had somehow found a way to acquire knowledge on people and discover their most dirty secrets. She had no qualms using the intelligence when it came to protecting her family or the Blackthorns’ reputation. Although she did not hesitate to break a few arms and ribs to prove her point, most of the time, she operated in a more subtle way. With finesse, one could say.

A Shadowhunter student who had had the ill-conceived idea of calling Mark Blackthorn “the Unseelie King’s sex toy” was living proof of that. Jaime had not heard the full details of the story but it apparently involved a wide collection of dildos, very enthusiastic piskies, and had earned the boy several nicknames that he would probably never part from.

Judging by the look on Dru’s face now, Jaime’s life was hanging by the thread of his answer. She didn’t need to worry.

“No! Hey! What the hell? Of course not! You know me, right?”

She relaxed, leaning casually against the headboard, her arms crossed behind her head.

“Not as much as I would like to...” she replied, with a wink. “But yeah, I guess so.” A wicked grin split across her face.

Forgive me, Father, for I am this close to becoming a sinner, Jaime thought as he hurriedly escaped from the room.

****

Kit grabbed Ty by the arm just as he was slipping out of bed.

“Not so fast, Centurion.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Are you trying to sneak out? You got what you came for and now you’re tossing me like an unpaired sock? I am wounded.”

Ty just stared at him.

Hmmm. Maybe too early for humour.

“I don’t think I’ve had my fill yet, that’s all…” Kit clarified, as he stretched like a cat. Or a lion. Definitely like a lion.

Both Ty’s V shaped eyebrows rose.

“I thought… You said you needed your rest.”

“Ty, I was not talking about that, however tempting. There are other things in life than sex.”

“Is that a fact?” Ty asked playfully, a corner of his mouth lifting. Okay. Virgin Mary turned into the God of Sex overnight. How the hell did that happen?

“I want a cuddle.” Kit pouted as he snuggled up against Ty and encircled him with his arms.

Ty surrendered to his embrace, falling back on the bed. Kit rolled on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. He started alternating between brushing and pressing his lips over Ty’s face, tracing his beautiful features from memory, with his eyes closed.

“I… have… some… errands...to… run… Mysteries… to… uncover,” Ty gasped between feathery kisses.

“I am a mystery.” Kit nibbled Ty’s earlobe, before whispering in his ear. “Uncover me.”

“You are naked,” Ty rightfully observed, though his voice was quavering and his breaths short.

“I am. But have you explored every avenue?”

“Fair point, Watson,” Ty said in a husky voice, before swallowing hard.

“That’s what I am here for, Sherlock,” Kit replied. He kissed Ty’s eyelids, his nose, and started exploring Ty’s mouth with his tongue.

They rubbed against each other, their limbs entangled, as the kiss grew deeper, hungrier, until both had to draw back to catch their breath.

“I love you,” Kit blurted.

“I love you too,” Ty replied softly, staring at Kit with his gray eyes half closed. He looked dizzy.

“I love you more,” Kit retaliated.

“How could you ever verify that?” Ty asked, his eyes widening with a look of genuine surprise.

“Easy. I just know that no one in the history of the universe could have ever loved anyone the way I love you.”

Ty looked - if possible - even more puzzled.

“I know it because my soul belongs with yours, Ty. If there are other worlds out there where I exist and you don’t, I don’t ever want to meet myself there. For what kind of empty shell - or monster - would I be if I hadn’t met you?”

They both startled as they heard a knock on the door.

“I am not decent!” Kit answered, as he reached hurriedly for a blanket to cover Ty’s body.

“This has never bothered you before,” Jace ‘s voice replied through the door. “Does this mean you are not the only one who’s not presentable in there? I just came across Mark running around naked in the corridors and I am pretty sure I have seen enough Blackthorns’ buttocks for the rest of the day.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kit answered, his voice muffled under the blanket covering both his and Ty’s bodies completely, like two kids curled up under a makeshift tent. Ty was shaking with silent laughter.

“Sure you don’t,” Jace answered, but Kit could hear his footsteps receding.

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championofnyx · 3 years

Text

BrioEngingeer!Brion

So... I was rewatching the first few episodes of Outsiders and one thing that is annoying me an unreasonable amount is the fact that no one really talks about what Brion was doing after Tara was captured and he wasn’t in Markovia. He said he went to school to educate himself and help his country, but also came back hopped up on the notion of becoming Markovian Captain America. So I offer you, Bioengineering major Brion. Because if you tell me that Brion “go big or go home” Markov wasn’t prepared to do it alone if Jace wasn’t willing to help active his meta gene and hankshaw redemption himself some super powers, I will flat out call you an idiot. Some random thought I now can’t get our of my head.

Brion was suppose to attend some academy in Markovia in Political science or foreign relations or something like that, but his parents were so distracted trying to find Tara they didn’t really notice he applied and got into some out of country university until he started packing his bags.

Walked into to a lecture five minutes before it started, recorded it instead of took notes, and passed out halfway though because he stayed up all night playing with different formulas.

Talked so much with his professors after class they would have to practically beat him back with a stick because he never stopped asking questions that were more than a little concerning, but they weren’t about to contact the family to make sure he was stable, because how to the hell do you even call a King and Queen.

No one really believed that he was a prince because Brion collectedly forgot what a haircut, shower, and deodorant were, but he also had the best grades in the whole department so no one questioned his methods.

Back to the no showing thing, his lab partner finally bought a can of dry shampoo one day and used the entire bottle on him in one class period.

Wrote everything thing done, like everything, but also never brought a journal with him so by the end of the week his arms where covered in formulas and ideas that he had at random times of the day.

Took summer semester courses and never slept so at 17, after his second year, had almost all of his credit to graduate.

Voted most likely to turn into a classic evil scientist if given the right incentive.

Showed up to class with three Venti triple shot something (I don’t drink coffee but I think that’s a lot of caffeine) and drank them all before the period was half way over.

Passed out in class once form sleep deprivation and no one was surprised

He has a single dorm, because of course he does, and everyone is scared to go in it because the walls are covered floor to ceiling with notes and it looks like a scientific murder board.

Everyone started joking that his eyes bags where designer^tm until they remembered he was the son of one of the most wealthiest families in all of Europe and shut up.

There’s a small white board outside of each lab where he has to write tally marks for the amount of times he used them per day because the professors gave him a limit after he accidentally stayed working on an experiment for 24 hours straight.

No one on the Team know that he is really smart ,accept the adults, and are surprised, and a little scared, when he starts a conversation with Ed’s dad one day and accutally understand the Dr.

Knows how to make deadly gas out of things under the kitchen sink, causally mentioned this fact when the others are picking on him one day, and everyone freezes and takes note to not piss him off too much.

Helps Virgil with his homework, Jamie too, but not as often.

Dick gets him into Gotham University via his Wayne connections to continue his degree, but one the conditions of taking care of himself and promising not to go evil scientist on them.

Since Brion had to study the Numenburge trials as his Bio introduction, he will sometimes refer to Helga as “The walking talking Numenburge violation” if she hits the right nerve and everyone doesn’t know wether to laugh or run awkwardly away because he isn’t wrong.

That more than I intended writing, but I hope you all enjoy!

#brion markov #Young justice #young justice outsiders #Bioengineer!Brion

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city-of-sjm · 3 years

Text

So this is my first fanfic, please be nice 🥺

Last artifices

(After QOAAD but before GOTSOM)

After the Wedding everyone is gather with there loved ones, in blankets watching the sky changes as the sun rises behind them

There is a silver flicker that is a rare phenomenon, to mundanes it bring good luck

The Shadowhunter don’t have a ritual for the sliver flash they just admire it

“ that flash should bring luck to our Marriage” Magnus says quietly to his new husband

“ have you seen it before” Alec asks wondering if in his extensive past he has seen it

“ once in 1903, London” Magnus replies thinking fondly Herondale’s, Carstairs’s, Blackthorn’s, Lightwood’s, and Fairchild’s he was with, he knew Tessa was probably thinking about her Late husband and children

“ My love, I would give anything for a few moments more with Lucie,Jamie,and Will” Tessa says distraught leaning to her current husband

“ I know your pain, dear, time travel isn’t a thing” Jem says

“ I know but, just miss them, so much” Tessa says

The phenomenon happens again but it is a blinding sliver light, usually it is a one to two second flash but this is constant

The light burns for hours, all the residents have off to the institute for bed

The strangest thing happened, when they all work up they were in 1903, London. They were are sleeping in beds as they were before.

All the guests are here even down to Tavvy and Church. None of the 21st Centuriers know that they are now in being of the 20th century

Julian is the first one to wake up, he tries to get up with out waking Emma beside him

All the institutes look the same, 100 years ago they didn’t, his ocean eyes catch on the change off scenery; the fire place, candles, lack of mural on his wall, finally the bathroom that was attached; it’s not a proper bathroom

He gently wakes Emma, who confused and murderers for waking her up

“ what do you want” she complains

“ look around, we are not in our room” He says

Emma’s eyes scan her soundings and then gets out of the Victorian bed

“ where are we, Jules” she asks cautiously

“ I don’t know, we went to bed in your room and woke up here” he says

“ it’s just a dreams Jules, don’t worry, just go back to bed” Emma says pulling him towards her

“ show me the birth control rune” Jules says

“ why, you know where it’s is” she says

“ just show it to me” He says, Emma pulls the oversized T that she wore to bed up over her hip to show a blank hip

“ where did it go, I just re-applied it a week ago” Emma complains

“ it’s the flash, giving us weird dreams”

——-

“ Lucie, go fetch James for breakfast” Tessa says to her 15 year old daughter

“ of course, mother” Lucie replies joyfully ask she sets down her leather bound notebooks and pen

“ Tessa, dear, there are strangers in the institute” Will says hurrying in to the dinning parlor

“ what do you mean, love” Tessa says calmingly

“ I walked into a spare room because I have put a new suit jacket for James in there. There was two people sleeping together. At first I thought it was Cordelia and Mathew but it is not” Will says panicked

“ did you wake the guests” Tessa says softly

“ love, why are you so calm” will says pacing

“ the institute is for lodging of Nephilim, they may be passing though to America next” Tessa says, stepping in front of her fretting husband

“ they were indecent, Tess. They were not clothed” Will says

“ what room, William?” Tessa asks

“ 19” Will shortly replies taking his seat at the table

Tessa heads overs to room 19 and quietly and carefully opens the door to expose two shadow hunters laying in each other’s arms, indecent

“ excuse me, ma’am and Sir” Tessa says as the girl with the red hair begins to stir and looks very confused

“ Tessa, what’s going on is something wrong? Why did you wake me up” the red girl says

“ pardon me? But I don’t believe we have meet” Tessa replies

“ Tessa, are you alright, we meet at my moms wedding. Is it something with Kit or Jem?” The girl asks

“ Jem? How do you know jem” Tessa replies. And picks up on the American accent

“ clar, who are you talking too”

The boy says pulling duvet over him

“ Jace, it’s Tessa, but something is wrong? She doesn’t remember me?” Clar says to the boy

“ do you remember Jace, he related to you some how” clar asks, Jace must be the boy in bed

“ may I have a surename please” Tessa asks

“ ah yes sorry, Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale” clary says there names and Tessa stops dead in her tracks

“ Fairchild and Herondale? Follow me please, once you decent” Tessa says leaving the room in a hurry, just in time to run into a blonde girl with brown eyes in a odd night shirt. Looks to be about James’s age

“ Tessa, thank god. Where are we?” She says

“ ma’am, are you lost?” Tessa asks the girl

“ Tessa, it’s me, Emma, are you alright?” Emma asked

“ what is your surname, Miss Emma?” Tessa asks

“ Tessa, we are ready” Ms Fairchild says alone with Mr. Herondale. They are both dressed in odd men’s clothing

“Emma! Put on clothes. This is not your institute” Ms Fairchild says to Ms Emma

“ What is going on, why does it seem like it 1800’s” Ms Emma complains

“ Tes, Darling, there you are” Will says with his eyes wide at the indecent girl

“ Will take Ms Fairchild and Mr Herondale” Tessa says

“ Herondale, Tess he looks nothing like me” Will complains

“ Ms Emma, you we not able to answer, what is your surname?” Tessa asks again

“ Carstairs, Emma Carstairs” Ms Carstairs says

“ Emma, go get dressed then come back” Ms Fairchild says

“ you think I wanted to come out in only Jules Shirt, no. I don’t have clothes” Ms Carstairs says rather rudely to Ms Fairchild

“ maybe you two should sleep in clothes” Mr Herondale says, he acts just like Will

“ sorry I still have a sex life, old man” Ms Carstairs snaps back

“ no sex life-“ Tessa cuts of Mr. Herondale

“ Ms Carstairs, my daughter has some clothing that may fit you, please follow me” Tessa says

———

Emma hated her life at the moment.

Tessa and servant were currently lacing up a corset and a gown. Almost like an evening gown.

Emma hates formal dresses, flowly sun dresses were Emma’s thing and bonus they were easy access.

“ Ms Carstairs, you speak with an American Accent, where in the United States are you from?” Tessa says holding up a light blue dress

“ California, Los Angeles” Emma responds

“ while Kathine helps you with that, I will wait outside” Tessa says curtirse and leaves the room

“ my my, if you don’t mind asking why do you have so many runes and scares” Kathine asks while pulling the dress tought around my waist and hips

Emma was a lean person with little or no fat and only muscle, with that being said she had little boobage and not a clearly defined waist so the Corset was very uncomfortable and pushed her ribs and abdomen in and her not there hips and boobs up

“ I’m a active Shadowhunter” Emma responds, not entirely sure how to respond to the question

“ pardon my asking, it mustn’t detour suitors” Kathine says

The statement quite offended Emma, Jules also said how much he loved her scars and runes, that they only added to her beauty

“ can you please give me the date, with year” Emma asks ignoring her previous question

“ August 28, 1903, Ms Carstairs” Kathine replies continuing to get Emma properly dressed. She had finished the dress and now was asking Emma to sit for shoes and put on a pair of patten leather heels.

“ may I adjust your décolleté , Ms Carstairs” Kathrine asks Emma nods approvingly as Kathine wiggles the corset and tugs it down to get the dress properly

“ Mrs. Herondale, is waiting in the hall for you” Kathrines says softly. Emma stand up a bit wobbly in the short heels, the strides out in to the hall, where 1900s Tessa is.

“Oh, that dress fits you wonderfully. Mrs Carstairs” Tessa says “ Lucie, loves that color but she was a bit too short, the tailor couldn’t make it much shorter”

“ where did Clary and Jace go?” Emma asks

“Ah, yes, Mrs. Fairchild and Mr. Herondale? correct?” Tessa says, Emma nods “they went with Will, my husband, for breakfast”

#tsc #qoaad #tda #tid #the infernal devices #jemma #blackstairs #emma carstairs #julian blackhtorn #tessa gray #herongraystairs #will herondale #Malec #cassandra clare #fanfic

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khaleesiofalicante · 4 years

Text

Malec Music Headcanons

Alec likes to hum when he is intently focusing on a task. It is a subconscious habit and he is probably not aware of it. He hums when he polishes his bow, when he applies his runes, when he gets dressed, when he makes coffee in the morning. It’s always a different song and most of the time it is out of tune as well.

He also whistles when he is happy or when he is really trying to seem nonchalant. Unfortunately, he is not good at being nonchalant. (Okay, what did you do? Nothing! Can’t a man whistle in pea-Alexander...Fine, I spilled lipstick in your valentino bag...YOU SPILLED LIPSTI-)

The first time Magnus hears Alec sing is when he is putting Max to sleep. Alec was kneeling next to crib, holding onto one of Max’s tiny blue fingers and singing something in French. Magnus couldn’t recognize the lullaby but it seemed like Alec knew it well considering Alec’s french was only as good as his Spanish.

Alec does not want his friends to know he sings at all. Well, to be honest, he just doesn’t want one of them to know. (But if you join the band, I can come to the sho-Magnus, I am not joining anything that is called Cucumbers & Cocaine!!!)

The first time Alec hears Magnus sing is on the night of his little brother’s first death anniversary. Alec was lying his head on Magnus’ lap and willing himself not to cry. Magnus’s ringed fingers were threading through Alec’s dark hair as the warlock sang something soft and soothing. Alec did not speak the language and he did not understand but he recognized the language immediately. It seemed beautiful, mystical and poetic - just like his Magnus.

Alec likes it when Magnus sings to him. He likes it when Magnus sings to their children. He likes it when Magnus sings period. Sometimes he pretends to be sad so Magnus would sing to him. (Alec, I am not going to sing to you because you lost one of your arrows! But it was my favorite one!! THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME OH MY G-EXCUSE YOU I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!!)

Magnus loves karaoke. He loves the karaoke machine, the lights, the stage - all of it. The gang has karaoke sessions every month at malec’s apartment. The theme for last month was ‘Blasts from the Past’. They basically sang songs of artists whom Magnus had dated. Alec was found to be pouting a lot and boy did things get wild that night. Also, Simon may or may not have passed out when he found out that Magnus had a one night stand with Freddie Mercury.

Magnus loves to talk about music and its history. Alec is not particularly interested but he loves watching Magnus talk about it. Magnus once mentioned how he missed the 70s and the art of making mixtapes for partners because it was so much more romantic than ‘sending youtube links through whatsapp!’. And of course, Alec ended up making a mixtape for Magnus. It’s called ‘Let me Romance You’. Magnus carries it and his little cassette player with him every time he travels for work.

Magnus loves listening to the violin when he is alone. Alec has noticed that Magnus seems both somber and pleased anytime he listened to the violin - as if the sound was both plesant and painful at the same time.

Some of Magnus’ favorite artists to perform are Beyonce, Britney Spears, Queen, Prince and Guns n Roses. Alec has never, ever done a Beyonce number to cheer up Magnus when he was having a day. Not ever. Nope. (But you were so good the first time! Just one mo-Magnus, I don’t know what you are talking about! I did no such thing!!!)

Alec is a little self-conscious about his singing. He sometimes wishes he had the stage presence of Izzy or could play an instrument like Jace. Music means a lot to Magnus and Alec wishes he was not as bad as he was - considering Magnus was good at it in every possible way. Until one day, Magnus finds a charango while they are in the flee market. (Darling, how is it? I have not played in a while but I think I still got it! What do you think??? It’s good, Magnus.This is fine...)

When Magnus finds about Alec’s worry of not being musically talented, he reassures his husband that he doesn’t care. (Your voice is my favorite music. Your name is my favorite melody. It doesn’t matter to me, my Alexander)

This one is for @littleturtle95 and Annie from earlier today - I hope you like it 💚

#malec headcanons #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #tsc

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tinyfirecollectorthings · 3 years

Text

Chapter 26

They were all gathered in the living room of the Carstairs' house. Dru was sitting on the edge talking with Jaime, Anush was playing with Iglesia in the center of the room and he was writing in his notebook the symbols that he thought he remembered seeing in the basement of the jail, Kit had gone to get some food for them since Jem, Tessa and Mina had to go to London to see an important matter. They were actually waiting for Alicia and Benjamin to arrive from their interrogation with the Inquisitor. As Magnus promised as soon as he got up he had called the silent brothers to investigate the seals (Ty had seen this with his own eyes in an attempt to uncover more clues) and unsurprisingly the Shadowhunters and Downworlders were being interrogated one for one in Los Angeles by Inquisitor Diego Rosales. Anush had been the first to speak to the Inquisitor while Benjamin and Alicia had apparently decided to wait to be among the last, although of course Ty knew that his statement and that of the others gathered in the room would be the last, but the Inquisitor He had insisted that they stay there in Devon, his exact words and spoken by Jaime's cell phone call were "Don't move from there no matter what" because apparently he wanted to keep the matter as private as possible.

Ty didn't mind having to wait, he actually felt safer that way, he was giving her time to accommodate his ideas.

"The food's here," Kit said as she entered the living room with six boxes of pizzas and two soft drinks.

It was a strange sight, everyone except for Kit was wearing the hunter's uniform, while the latter was dressed in blue jeans and a blue shirt with the letters "TMI". The sight of it reminded Ty of when they were at the Los Angeles Institute three years ago.

-This cat is very pretty -said Anush approaching the table -but it's very bad. He has scratched me three times already.

"It's his way of greeting," Kit said calmly. "Look," he approached Iglesia and he scratched her hand slightly, Kit didn't even flinch at the scratch. "Do you see?" It is not personal.

Anush smiled in fascination at Kit, and even though a little of Ty's stomach clenched, he thought it wasn't weird for people to look at Kit like that, after all he was brilliant.

"What are we supposed to tell my brother when he comes?" Jaime mentioned with his mouth full

-I told the Inquisitor what had happened-Anush spoke-I told him how the revolt was and in the end he just asked me why we were there, I told him that Christopher Herondale had invited us. Sorry about that-he added, apologizing to Kit.

"Don't worry," Kit replied with a shrug. "You know the saying" If something goes wrong, blame a Herondale "

Anush seemed to blush with embarrassment.

-It's just that I thought you were the only one who wouldn't be questioned too much.

"First Magnus and now this. Does that mean that everyone sees me as a sign of trouble?" Kit asked and he looked genuinely confused.

"People tend to make a judgment of our behavior based on the family we belong to," he added calmly right away. "In this case, the Herondales have always been known to do what they want."

Jaime almost spit the drink out of him due to laughter and Kit scold him for something to soil the carpet

"You didn't have to answer," Livvy told him in a low voice. "Kit wasn't asking seriously, and if he had done it a" No "would have been enough.

Ty nodded, sometimes forgetting that he had to consider the situation before speaking.

-By the way Dru- Anush mentioned interrupting the discussion -How did you get that bottle of blood? The one Jaime applied to us so that we would wake up from the spell

"Kit gave it to me," his sister answered right away.

Kit blinked in surprise for a moment before acting naturally and shrugging.

-I thought you could be of help if something bad happened.

"And where did you get it?" Jaime asked, his eyes looked directly at Kit.

Ty thought Jaime was looking for the right moment to blame Kit for anything.

"In the shadow market," Kit answered without hesitation but Ty could see that there was some tension in his shoulders. "And before you ask, no, I won't tell you who gave it to me." My source is confidential and unlike my father he did not give away.

The mention of Johnny Rook somehow managed to silence the room, everyone ate without saying a word until Alicia's heels echoed through the hallways.

"By the angel, I'm starving," she said taking a slice of pizza and sitting on the couch as if it were her house.

Benjamin who always seemed to have more manners than her greeted them and sat next to Anush to eat.

"Are the interrogations over?" Jaime asked, looking at Alicia. "Is my brother on the way?"

"They are not finished yet," Alicia answered, "the Inquisitor wants to question each one personally, so there were about twenty people missing."

-But Alicia threatened one of the centurions that if they didn't let her come here she would burn the whole place

"I wouldn't be able to do it really" Alicia added "By the way Kit, a vampire approached me and gave me this," she said, taking out a sealed letter, "it has your name written on it, but I don't mention anything."

Kit took the letter and stared at it for a long moment.

-What are you waiting to open it-Jaime said -Don't you have open letters?

-Why do I need to open letters if I have my dagger? Kit answered immediately as he opened the envelope and read the letter

Ty noticed that with each line that Kit's eyes advanced, his hands tightened on the paper. After a moment he got up to the fireplace and took out his stele with which he must have applied the fire rune because after a moment the letter burned to ashes.

-I'm sorry, it was a letter from the shadow market, I have to go there immediately.

"Nothing can be more important if the Inquisitor comes," Jaime said. "You will have to cancel the affairs of the market."

"I'll be here before your brother comes," Kit mentioned as he took a backpack off the ground. "And if not, Ali and Ben will cover me, right guys?"

They both attended.

Jaime seemed ready to claim, but Dru held his arm and they exchanged glances. Ty supposed they were hiding something. In the end Jaime seemed to give in.

-If my brother comes and you are not here, I will tell him to invade the shadow market.

Kit nodded and walked to the exit; Ty took the notebook from him where he was jotting down and handed it to Dru without explanation as he caught up with Kit in the doorway.

"Is the market true?" Ty asked, standing next to him.

-It is, Hypatia Vex wants to see me at the London market, apparently she has information about the green maiden.

Ty was almost certain that Kit was lying because his expression when reading the letter had been too careful, so he asked directly.

-You lie because you fear that Jaime will listen to us, or you just don't want to tell the truth.

Kit looked at him in surprise and seemed to hesitate for a few moments before finally speaking.

- I lie because in situations like this, it is the only thing that I find comforting.

He wanted to ask her more about that, but then a portal opened almost right in front of them and Kit looked him straight in the eye.

-Just promise me that whatever happens in the market, you will let me speak.

It was Ty's moment to hesitate.

"But what if I have something very important to say?"

- Don't say it unless it's life or death.

-Well-accept dissatisfied

And then they both walked through the portal

***

Kit couldn't help but look nervously at Ty, he was worried that the noises from the market would bother him too much, but he was more worried about what Hypatia might say to him, the letter he had received said:

"If you want us to continue being friends, come to the market as soon as possible and let's meet at the old store, I want to talk to you about your family"

And Kit worried that for Hypatia "Family" was more than just her father, he worried that the family was the Carstairs or Jace. So for the first time in three years he wished that family would be about his father.

"Here it is," he said to Ty, pointing to an old building that was actually off-limits to the market but was occupied by the owners as an office.

"Hypatia wants to see you here?" Ty asked, looking closely at the building. "It seems something strange.

Kit immediately shrugged without thinking about Ty's words.

"Not really, there is an old building exactly like this in Los Angeles" he said before looking at it "Look, maybe it would be better if you go back to Devon."

Ty frowned and his gray eyes stared at him in confusion as his hands began to move quickly to his side.

-Do you want me to go?

Kit could not know what his response would have been because at that precise moment a vampire approached them.

"Hypatia is waiting for you inside," the vampire said laconically as he entered the building and without saying anything about him being accompanied.

Ty was the first to follow the vampire and Kit was forced to enter as well.

The building looked completely abandoned, as if no one had used it in several decades, there were traces of strange fluids in various parts of the place and when they went up the stairs they seemed to let out wailing instead of creaking. Dru would have loved this place.

In the end they ended up being led to a completely empty room, with no windows or any other exit other than the door, and the vampire who was their guide gave them a signal to enter, but neither he nor Ty advanced when noticing that he did not enter.

"And Hypatia?" Kit asked suspiciously.

"I'm afraid she won't be present," said a voice behind them.

The next thing they felt was that something was hitting their back with too much force and they were thrown into the room.

-But luckily, I, Barnabas Hale, am here.

"I don't see the luck in this," Kit said sarcastically as she looked at Barnabas and stood up as she drew her dagger. She out of the corner of her eye she saw that Ty was okay.

Somehow Barnabas looked much worse than the last one they had seen when he had been set up in Los Angeles.

"It's lucky for me," said Barnabas. "At last I'll be able to settle accounts with the two of you."

"Does Hypatia know about this?" She told him angrily, "That you used her name to set me up."

"Oh, she knows and much more than I would like," Barnabas said from the door, "she agrees to all of this." Although of course I did not expect you to come with company, but I suppose that is only a double prize.

-Ha Hypatia doesn't like Shadowhunters but I doubt she wants to get into such big trouble if something happens to us.

-Because you keep talking as if you weren't one of them- Barnabas growled with contempt- You have their marks all over your body, as if you expect the black of them to consume you, but still you speak as if you don't belong with them. But you do it. All neflim are the same, they wear black hoping that no one will see them, but we see them and we know that they are the true demons. And now that finally there are more people who see what is reality they have to pay, we will make them pay. Do you know why Hypatia agrees with what happens to you? Because weeks ago they found the dead body of a fairy in the market.

"That's not completely strange and I don't understand how it is related to me," Kit exclaimed.

-You do not know? You killed him. At first it was thought that it could be someone from the market, but when the wolves, vampires and warlocks were discarded and only the fairies remained. When asking, it turned out that someone had been seen with the fairy moments before, a boy with blond and tanned hair who hid his face from him.

-There are many people like that-Ty spoke in defense of him -They can't accuse someone just because he's blond and tan

-And how many of them have runes on their bodies? Or a blade with herons? -Med Barnabas looking at the dagger he was brandishing

"It's a dagger," Kit told him, "and now you'll see how it works," and he threw it towards Barnabas but the weapon seemed to hit a wall and fell at her feet.

-I thought they were smart enough to know that the reason I hadn't killed them yet was because there was a barrier between us. It is from Hypatia, everything that enters her no longer leaves her unless she removes it.

"I didn't kill anyone," Kit exclaimed, clenching her jaw.

-Well, someone did and your cousin has an excellent alibi because he he he was talking to Hypatia, but you have nothing.

-And how are we going to pay? -Asked Ty-They must have something planned if Hypatia decided to put up a barrier because she knew you were too reckless not to kill us before our time.

-We are going to kill them and we will vote their bodies in some place where everyone can see them, you will serve to declare war -said Barnabas looking directly at Ty-They killed underground children, it is only fair that we kill you where other children can see them.

"We're not kids," Ty said, there was a tone of determination in his voice that made Kit remember Julian. "And they can't declare a war with only the market for support, they wouldn't win."

Barnabas let out a shrill curl

-Have you not heard? All the shadow world hates them.

"The fairies would be on our side, Kieran Kingson would support us," Ty mentioned, his gray eyes seemed to be made of metal, "The Seelie Queen must support us."

-The fairies on your side, huh? -Said Barnabas looking at him, and there was something in Barnabas's gaze that made Kit feel chills-I guess they don't know yet, they think they are so smart and they don't know the most said rumor and best kept

-And what is it? -He asked him

Barnabas denied

-I've already lost too much time with you and my schedule requests me elsewhere, but don't worry, we'll see each other faster than you think and it will be for the last time.

And without looking at them he left, leaving them trapped in that room.

***

-Are you going to tell me why you let them go or are you also going to lie about that? -Said Jaime with a hard voice

Dru had left the living room where the others were with the excuse of putting Ty's notebook in her place but Jaime had followed her and now she was claiming him.

-I don't know what you're talking about-she told him as she tried to keep walking

Jaime held her hand.

-You know what Dru was talking about, you lied about the bottle-she wanted to complain but Jaime denied-No, don't lie because I know you did it and a few moments ago you looked at me so that I will let your brother and Kit go to the shadow market. Why ?

"How do you really know that the bottle is a lie?" She said in return.

Dru didn't know why exactly but she didn't want to tell them that Ash was involved, she didn't want anyone to know. Kit's eyes had looked at her questioningly briefly when she had awarded him the bottle of hers but she hadn't given it away. Not yet. So ... how was it possible for Jaime to find out?

-Because -said Jaime looking directly into her eyes -when you lie as much as I can you can smell the lies for miles, and yours sucked too much.

-I asked you to let my brother and Kit go because he trusted them -Dru spoke calmly and sincerely- and if they need to do something she trusts that it is important, even if I don't know why they really left.

Jaime nodded without asking more, it was clear that he understood the family's loyalty.

-And how did you actually get that bottle?

-I stole it from him in feera-she mentioned knowing that Jaime would know who she was referring to and from the way her eyes shone she was right-but nothing more. She actually wasn't sure if it would really work.

-Dru, you are my friend, please don't lie to me.

"I'm not doing it," she replied. "And anyway, why are you so obsessed with what Kit does?"

-Excuse me -Alice spoke appearing down the hall -I don't want to ruin her moment of tension or anything but the Inquisitor has just arrived and wants to talk to a Blackthorn. I guess he actually wants to talk to your brother but since he's with Kit you'll have to distract him now.

-Tell him that we are going right away-Jaime said to Alicia who left immediately-It would be better if you keep the Tiberius notebook, if my brother sees it he will want to read it and from the way you hold it I assume it would be inconvenient.

And then Jaime also left, maybe what he had just told him was advice, but there was something in Jaime's eyes that told him that he knew he was lying, but that he was tired of trying to get the truth out of him.

Dru leaned against the wall and sighed. Why was she trying so hard for Ash to lie to his friends?

She didn't know, but if she closed her eyes the only thing she could see was the grass green color.

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/215552440/write/994020123

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echo-bleu · 3 years

Text

jump and hope it’s not a cliff

Summary: Five times Alec and Magnus come out, and one time they come home.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out.

Some part of him still expects it to be earth-shattering, but it’s not. It’s almost nothing, just a word, a single syllable that falls out of his lips easily. It doesn’t suddenly make everything click into place, or scramble his whole being.

It’s just a fact.

Malec, about coming out and pride and supporting each other.

A/N: This is set in the same universe as map out a world and there are a few callbacks, but this should easily stand on its own. Alec is autistic, and everything else is mostly like canon, except that I stretched out the timeline. Part 1 to 3 are set somewhere during season 2, 4 during season 3 and the last two at some point in the future. The title is a quote from Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (thank you Cor for the suggestion).

A huge thank you to the amazing @moonlight-breeze-44 who did a great job betaing this and cheering me on, as well as all the wonderful people in the Malec Discord Server for helping me come up with some of these scenes and being super supportive. This fic was truly a work of love and it's very close to my heart, so it's a little daunting to finally post it!

Warnings: part 5 contains a transphobic character who says very transphobic things. You might want to skip that part if it's a sensitive subject. The rest contains mentions of (mostly past) queerphobia and ableism, but it's all fairly light.

Read on AO3.

Alec can’t remember a specific moment when they came out to each other. He remembers Magnus openly flirting with him — right in front of his siblings, too, and Alec is just embarrassed by how utterly clueless he was, though Magnus seems to think it was adorable — and his own clumsy attempts at flirting back, once he got over his confusion. But he doesn’t remember ever saying “I’m gay.”

He’s not sure he’s ever said it out loud, to anyone, like the word is heavy and draining and it’s something best left half-implied, a whisper of a suspicion rather than a hard fact; despite the evidence. Alec is attracted to men — is attracted to Magnus, really, because besides his mistaken infatuation with Jace, he’s never felt that pull for anyone else — but he doesn’t speak of it. Magnus just seemed to know, just like Izzy did, just like Jace did, or maybe he took a leap of faith and he’s really good at appearing more confident than he actually is.

What he does remember is skimming through Magnus’ Clave file, that day before they went to meet him at his club, and the leap his heart made when he read about Magnus’ well known “proclivities” towards lovers of all genders. It was followed by fear and disgust, because of course the Clave would write this down as proof of Magnus’ untrustworthiness and dangerous behavior. Alec was dangerously close to thinking that way, back then, too terrified of people finding out about him to fully question what he’d been taught to believe. He tucked the information into a corner of his mind, and he’d be hard-pressed to tell if it influenced his first impression of Magnus and how.

They’ve been dating for over two months now, and they’ve never spoken about it. They’ve never spoken about Alec’s very public coming out to the Clave beyond agreeing to a date. They’ve discussed past relationships — or lack thereof — and the political issues that come with a Shadowhunter dating a Downworlder, especially as they’re both prominent figures in the city, but they’ve never spoken of themselves or the couple they form in terms of queerness.

And now, staring at the rainbow cover of the new book in Magnus’ hands, Alec wonders why.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts and finishes hanging his jacket on the coat rack as Magnus puts down the book and stands up with a wide smile. They’ve decided on a quiet night in tonight — dinner and a movie — after a week that has been horrendously long for both of them. Unresolved issues are piling up at the Institute, but right now Alec just wants to relax and enjoy his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. He’s still getting used to that. He thought for so long that he could never have any of the things that so many people take for granted, and feeling for someone what he feels for Magnus, having it reciprocated, seemed the most unattainable of them all.

“You seem distracted,” Magnus remarks after a moment of silence in their dinner.

Alec looks up guiltily and stills his fingers, which have been tapping a discreet rhythm on his thigh. “Sorry,” he says, sheepish. “I didn’t mean to zone out.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“You,” Alec admits — it’s not a hardship to admit it at all. He spends most of the time that isn’t directly taken up by Institute business thinking about Magnus, in one form or another. He worries, often, that maybe it’s too much, that Magnus is going to find him too intense, but so far Magnus just preens at the attention.

“I’m flattered,” Magnus quips. “Anything specific?”

Alec’s eyes fall on the rainbow book on the coffee table again, across the room. It’s a book about queer history or something similar, something he hasn’t seen Magnus read about before. It’s flashy and mundane and distracting. There’s a strange tug in Alec’s stomach at just seeing a rainbow here, in Magnus’ living space, a fear that shouldn’t be there anymore.

“I’m gay,” he blurts out.

It’s just a fact.

“Okay,” Magnus says slowly, frowning a little like he can tell he’s missing something. “I already knew that, Alexander.”

Alec runs his thumb down the fabric of his jeans and works his jaw. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m not sure I did.”

Magnus frowns further, uncomprehending, then his face lights up. “You’ve never actually said it, have you? If you came out at the wedding—” he waves a hand.

“That wasn’t planned, and my parents aren’t exactly interested in talking about it,” Alec says. “I kinda feel like I used you, actually. We weren’t even dating or anything, and there’s a gap between flirting with me and kissing me in front of the entire Institute.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I was surprised, but I’ve never been shy or particularly closeted, if that’s what you mean. And I was definitely hoping that you’d call off the wedding. It was a hell of a way to come out, though.”

“It sure didn’t help my standing with the Clave,” Alec mutters. “Or my relationship with my parents. But I don’t regret it. I regret not really giving you a choice, though. Even if you’re not in the closet, I know the Institute doesn’t represent something positive for you, and publicly being with a Shadowhunter can’t be good for your reputation.”

“My reputation has been through much worse than this,” Magnus reassures him. “But I appreciate your concern. And I promise you I was a willing participant.”

Alec nods in acceptance and eats a few more bites of his risotto. Like everything Magnus conjures, it’s delicious. They eat in silence for a moment, but Alec feels Magnus’ gaze on him, intense but somehow not heavy.

“I’m bisexual,” Magnus finally says. “I’ve used many labels over the years, some whose meaning is very different now, and often no labels at all, but that’s the one I like best.”

Alec carefully commits the information to memory and looks up to meet his eyes, to show that he’s listening.

“Did you always know?” he asks. “Even when you had no words for it?”

Magnus takes a moment to think about it. “I think so,” he answers. “It was always a part of me, like my magic or my eyes. I didn’t always accept it, but I knew.”

Alec nods, feeling like he can’t relate to that certainty. Clarity isn’t something he’s ever had about himself, about anything. Whether it’s about his sexuality, or his aspirations, or even who he is as a person, it’s always been muddled. The identities his parents and the Clave tried to impose on him, Shadowhunter and Lightwood and soldier, have never felt quite right, like he doesn’t fit into the boxes he desperately tries to hide in, but neither have the labels he’s come across since, not really.

“I’m gay,” he murmurs to himself again. He’s not sure it feels right. Maybe he just needs to get used to it, after years of not daring to apply the word to himself. Maybe it’s really just a word, and its power drained out with the need to hide. Alec shakes his head. It’s better than anything else. It’s enough. It has to be, right?

Magnus claps his hands once, making a bowl of popcorn appear on his knees. “Here,” he says. “The real movie night experience.”

He had been horrified to learn that Alec has never done that before. His siblings have sneaked out to go to the movies with their teenage dates, but Alec was always the good son, and the Institute only has one TV in the break room that is certainly not casually watched by the Head of the Institute, which Alec has functionally been since he was sixteen.

Magnus doesn’t count the few classic movies Alec watched on his own on his laptop in the safety of his room as a real movie night experience. Movie night is, by definition, something you do with others.

He passes the bowl of popcorn to Alec, taking a few pieces with his other hand and popping them into his mouth. They’re sitting side by side on the couch in his living room, rearranged for the occasion. Magnus has pushed aside the two armchairs that usually occupy the other side of the coffee table in favor of a huge wide screen TV, which is currently displaying the opening scene of The Fellowship of the Ring.

“Why does it include popcorn?” Alec frowns, taking a few from the bowl and passing it back. He’s sitting cross-legged on the couch, a fluffy pillow on his lap and his new tangle toy in his hand. He’s very recently started to loosen up around the loft and actually make himself comfortable, rather than constantly staying straight-backed and tense, and Magnus never tires of watching him stim and relax.

Magnus puts his feet up on the coffee table. “It’s tradition, Alexander!”

“Aren’t you way older than the invention of the cinema?”

“Come on, movie night is something you’re supposed to enjoy, not question,” Magnus says. “Shh, I love this bit,” he adds when Gandalf makes his entrance.

Alec huffs and sits back, but there’s a smile on his face, and he’s almost close enough that their thighs touch. Magnus lets him take the first step, knowing that Alec doesn’t always handle touch well, but by the time Frodo sets out of the Shire, Alec has sought out Magnus’ free hand and interlaced it with his own.

He listens amusedly to Magnus commenting on every moment of the movie, marveling at the landscapes and critiquing the largest departures from the books, which Alec hasn’t even read. He doesn’t say anything beyond making some noises at the right places, up until the first sword fights.

“But you can’t hold a sword that way!” he protests. “His posture is all wrong!”

Magnus holds back a laugh. “It’s a movie, darling. Cinematic aestheticism is more important than realism.”

“But this is wrong! How can anyone not see it?”

Magnus keeps it to himself that he definitely didn’t, in spite of his rather extensive training. His martial arts knowledge is very different from Alec’s sword-fighting techniques. “Just relax and let yourself enjoy it,” he says, squeezing Alec’s hand.

By the time they get to the Moria fight, Alec is leaning forward to watch more closely and sputtering. “That’s not how you hold a bow!”

Magnus shrugs. “He looks rather dashing while doing it, so who cares?”

“Who cares? I care! This doesn’t make any sense! Don’t these actors have a modicum of training?”

“I’m sure they do,” Magnus says. Alec’s indignation is rather hilarious, even if it doesn’t let him truly enjoy the movie. His purpose was to show it to Alec, anyway, not to watch it himself. Watching Alec’s reactions is endearing and more fun than the movie itself. “But they’re thinking more about making it look good than realistic. And they’re all really hot doing it, which doesn’t hurt.”

Alec blinks at that and tilts his head. “You think they’re hot?”

Magnus turns his head toward him in surprise. “Don’t you?”

Is Alec jealous? It doesn’t seem to fit with his character, not over such a small thing, but Magnus doesn’t know everything about him yet.

“I don’t know, I guess?” Alec shrugs. “I haven’t really thought about it.”

Magnus opens his mouth and closes it. He pauses the movie, and Alec frowns in surprise. “Alec, do you...who do you think is hot?”

“I, uh,” Alec hesitates. “I don’t know. Why is that important?”

“It’s not, necessarily, but most people don’t say ‘I guess’ when asked if someone is hot or sexy. You can have a type, but—” Magnus gestures in frustration, struggling to explain. “It’s something you see right away.”

Alec stares at him for a moment, lost. “I don’t… I’m not sure I understand. I mean, you’re beautiful. You’re hot, I suppose. Them—” he gestures at the TV. “I don’t know them.”

Magnus carefully doesn’t let the ‘I suppose’ hurt — he knows Alec doesn’t mean it the way it sounds. He smiles at the compliment, instead. “So you need to know someone to appreciate their sexiness?” he asks.

Alec takes a moment to think about it. “You’re the only one I’ve really thought of as sexy,” he says slowly. “And even then...it’s not something I’d think unprompted? It’s just not important to me, I suppose.”

“Alexander, are you asexual?” Magnus asks slowly.

For a moment, Alec looks like a fish out of water. He opens his mouth and closes it several times, searching for his words. He’s twisting his stim toy more and more nervously, so Magnus releases his hand to let him stim freely, putting his own hand on Alec’s thigh instead. Alec flinches away, though, so he lets him go.

“I don’t know,” Alec finally says. “Maybe? What if I am?”

“There’s a bunch of different identities under the asexual umbrella,” Magnus says. “It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.”

Alec freezes for a second, then squeezes his tangle toy hard in his hand. “Is it a problem? If I’m completely asexual?”

“No, of course not,” Magnus says hurriedly. “You’re wonderful the way you are.”

“Then why is it important?”

“For us?” Magnus checks. Alec nods without looking in his direction. “It just means that we need to talk about boundaries a little more than I’m used to. I want to do that with you, anyway, but maybe we should dig deeper than I anticipated.”

Alec nods tightly. “Okay.” He doesn’t sound like he really believes it.

“Alexander, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but it doesn’t make you lesser, or broken, if you don’t feel attraction to people. It’s just different. Some people are straight, some are gay, or bi, or something else. Some are ace.”

“But I’m gay,” Alec says.

It dawns on Magnus then. Of course, in the homophobic environment Alec grew up in, he would have defined a large part of his identity through his gayness, even before he was fully aware of it. Now that he’s come out, there are likely people at the Institute or even the Clave who only think of him as “the gay one”. Or “the gay one who is shagging a Downworlder,” probably, but Magnus doesn’t want to open that particular can of worms tonight.

“It doesn’t make you any less gay,” he says. “You can be asexual and homoromantic. Or gray-asexual or demisexual and still sexually attracted to men.”

“I think I’m attracted to you,” Alec says quietly. “I mean, sexually. I know I want to kiss you and date you, but I think I also want to have sex with you.” He’s red as a brick wall by the end of his sentence, but he bravely plows through, his voice even quieter. “I don’t think I was sexually attracted to Jace.”

Magnus nods as neutrally as he can. “And other people?”

Alec just shakes his head.

“Even romantically?”

He shakes his head again, his cheeks even redder. He’s started stimming again, so fast that his hands are a blur.

Magnus refrains from telling him that he feels giddy about being so special for Alec, because this isn’t something Alec chose. He doesn’t try to touch him, even though he wants to reach out. “So you’ve only been romantically attracted to people you already knew?”

“I don’t know,” Alec shrugs. “I didn’t really know you?”

“When did you start feeling attraction for me?”

Alec bites his lip, thinking. “I liked that you paid attention to me. No one gives me a second look, usually, unless I’m giving out orders. Jace and Izzy are easier to...approach, I guess. But I didn’t feel like...like you said, losing my breath and all that, until later. The day you said that, actually.”

“So you did know me by then,” Magnus says, trying to keep his voice neutral.

“Were you attracted to me from the beginning?” Alec asks hesitantly, like he’s not sure he wants to know the answer.

“Yes,” Magnus admits easily. “But attraction isn’t something you have to act on. I liked what I saw as soon as I laid eyes on you, but then I learned to appreciate you. Your personality, your sense of humor, your loyalty to your siblings. That’s not just attraction. That’s falling in love.”

“And asexuals can do that?”

“Some of them can, some of them can’t. Some want to and some don’t. There’s no one-size-fits-all with this.”

“So what am I?”

Magnus takes a breath, trying to figure out what Alec really needs to hear. Does he need a label? Or just reassurance? He decides to go for the option that feels the least patronizing and tries to answer his actual question. “You can correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that what you’re describing is demisexuality, and maybe also demi-romanticism. It means you need to know someone, to have an emotional connection to them, before you feel attraction. But you could also say that you’re gray-ace and gray-romantic, since you don’t experience attraction often or in the same way as most people, but you do have some attraction.”

Alec nods throughout, his eyes boring a hole into the TV he’s staring at with intense focus. Magnus can even see him mouth some of the words, trying them out. “I think that sounds right,” he says slowly. “I don’t know, I need to think about it more, but it’s a start.”

“You don’t need to settle on a label tonight,” Magnus tells him.

Alec swallows. “No, I know, but...you deserve to know. Even if you’re amazingly tolerant, you deserve to know what you’re getting into.”

Magnus closes his eyes briefly. “No, Alexander,” he says, pained. “Your identities are yours and yours alone, and you don’t need to put words on them for me. I’m not being tolerant; I love you for who you are, and anyone who can’t accept you, all of you, doesn’t deserve the time of the day. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Alec breathes out through his nose and stills his hands for long enough to look in Magnus’ direction. “Okay,” he murmurs with a tiny smile. He reaches out and takes Magnus’ hand in his. “I love you too.”

“Mister Bane, please refrain from interrupting me in the future.”

Magnus sighs. The meeting has been going on forever, and the President of the Spiral Council, a warlock older than himself but disliked by nearly the entire community, is being downright insulting by refusing to call him by his rightful title of High Warlock. He feels the usual prickle of his skin at the address, at the way she insists on the Mister.

“My apologies,” he relents, all energy to argue drained out of him. He’s been fighting her on this matter — a change in the interrogation protocols for the warlocks captured by Valentine, ultimately a waste of resources — for three hours, and he’s done. He glares at the assembled warlocks around the table, who all agree with him but don’t have the guts to speak up. Why does he always have to do all the work?

He sits through the rest of the meeting without saying a word, resolutely ignoring the constant taunts from the President. She’s not worth his time. Not if no one will back him up.

Magnus is tired and more than a little upset when he makes it back to his loft. Minor inconveniences are piling up to make today one of the worst days of work he’s had in awhile. At least Alec will be here tonight, on his night off from patrol.

Magnus magically summons the few bills that have been left in his mundane mailbox downstairs at the same time as he takes off his jacket and haphazardly throws it on the floor of his bedroom. His heart constricts a little more at the sight of the address, Mister Magnus Bane. He doesn’t want to deal with this today, but he can’t seem to escape it.

He banishes the bills and changes his outfit to a silk robe with a snap of his fingers. There, better. At least now he’s comfortable.

Sighing, he sits down at his makeup console. He looks at himself critically for a moment. He went overboard with the makeup this morning, and the heavy, dark eyeshadow that he thought made him look mysterious now just seems to carve in his eye sockets, and he looks gaunt instead. He makes it disappear, leaving only the light eyeliner lines.

He woke up with a strong need to shave off his goatee, along with most of the hair on his body. He goes through one of these phases every now and then. He would usually do it straight away, but this time, he hesitated. What will Alec think, if he comes over tonight and finds Magnus smooth-skinned, not only his face but also his chest and legs?

Sure, Magnus could technically magic back the hair as soon as Alec gets here, but it doesn’t feel right.

“Everything okay?”

Magnus starts and almost falls off of his chair in surprise. Alec is standing at the door of his bedroom, in his socks. In his distraction, Magnus somehow missed him passing his wards, coming through the front door and removing his shoes.

“Fine,” he says. “Just a frustrating day. But you’re here now.”

Alec smiles. “I am. We can just chill out in bed, if you’re tired.”

“What about dinner?”

“I could do dinner in bed,” Alec shrugs. “I’ve been on my feet all day and most of last night. If I had my way, I wouldn’t move from bed for at least two days.”

“I could arrange that,” Magnus quips. He knows Alec would never go for it — for all that he says that, he’ll still be up at six on the dot tomorrow and unable to go back to bed. So Magnus has to take advantage of him while he’s here.

Snapping his fingers, he conjures a tray filled with Chinese food from a take-out place he knows Alec likes. “Dinner in bed it is,” he says.

“See, that’s why you’re my favorite man,” Alec smiles.

Magnus flinches. An actual, full-body flinch. He tries to cover it up by standing up, but Alec immediately spreads his arms to show his harmlessness, hunching over like he’s trying to make himself shorter. “I said something wrong,” he says.

“No, it’s fine, Alexander,” Magnus waves his hand, annoyed at himself.

“Please, Magnus. I can see it. You don’t have to tell me, but it would be better so I don’t do it again.”

“It’s just…” Magnus trails off, hesitating. He’s been putting off coming out to Alec, and he doesn’t know why. Or rather, he does know, but his fears are barely rational. Alec has taken him in stride so far, barely batting an eye, even at Magnus’ more extravagant habits. He had a truly amazing reaction to seeing Magnus’ warlock mark. So why would this be any different?

No, Alec won’t react badly. But if Magnus comes out now, it will become a thing. They’ll have to talk about it, explain, like every time he tells someone, and it will be weird for days. Magnus is tired. Tired of not being able to be who he is without everyone else forcing him into boxes he doesn’t fit in.

He’s tired and he doesn’t want to explain, but he also wants Alec to know. He wants him to know why words that seem perfectly normal and safe to Alec sometimes feel like a knife to Magnus’ back. He wants to be able to make jokes about his gender and have them understood. He wants to wake up next to Alec and know that his partner knows and respects him for who he is, fully.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m not a man. I’m nonbinary.”

Alec doesn’t move. His eyes widen a little, but he doesn’t turn away from Magnus, keeping his gaze somewhere around Magnus’ mouth as usual. Magnus can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to decide what to answer with.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “I don’t...I think I know what the word means, but I don’t know a lot about it. Do you want to tell me what it means to you or do you want me to research it first?” His gaze trails toward the bookshelf Magnus has put together of books on queer theory.

Magnus gapes, because this is so far from any reaction he expected that it didn’t even come to his mind as an option. “I—” he stammers. “I will tell you, but I’m too tired tonight. And maybe you could...read a couple things first? Would that be okay?”

“That’s why I offered,” Alec says, with a relieved smile.

“You’re amazing, Alexander. You know that?”

Alec grins, with that tiny frown that says he wants to refute it but knows Magnus won’t hear of it if he does. He still can’t take a compliment — he can’t, Magnus has come to learn, think of himself positively without remembering every time he’s been put down and belittled by the people who should have lifted him up. Magnus just pats his shoulder. “How about we go to bed? Tomorrow, we can talk.”

Alec nods, and Magnus realizes that he’s looking forward to it, to telling Alec about himself.

When Magnus wakes up the next morning, which is their day off — Magnus has adapted his own schedule to match Alec’s whenever possible — Alec isn’t in bed next to him. Magnus finds him in the main room, sitting crossed-legged in an armchair with his laptop on his lap, a full breakfast ready on the table. He’s obviously been up for a while, if he’s had time to prepare all that on top of his morning run and stretching routine.

“Hey,” he gives Magnus a wide smile.

“Did I oversleep?” Magnus asks. He’s definitely less of an early-riser than Alec, who tends to wake up with the sun whenever he hasn’t been on the night shift, but he’s usually awake by the time Alec comes back from his run.

“There’s no such thing on a day off, but I think you were tired,” Alec answers. “I’ve been up for three hours.”

“Oh my,” Magnus murmurs, checking the time with a wave of his hand. To his relief — and amusement — it’s only eight-thirty, definitely not that late by his standards. “What have you done with all this time?”

“Research,” Alec waves to the books on the coffee table in front of him, which Magnus only now notices. They’re from his LGBT+ book collection, and definitely his top choices for learning about gender identities. “I’m learning a lot.”

“Let me shower and we can talk about it,” Magnus decides, his body tensing with excitement and a touch of apprehension.

“Breakfast is ready when you are,” Alec smiles reassuringly.

He’s just serving coffee when Magnus comes out of the shower. Magnus hasn’t bothered to get dressed or do his makeup yet, avoiding his mirrors — which isn’t the easiest feat in his bathroom, which has no less than two full-length mirrors beside the one above the sink — because he’s not sure what he wants to look like today. His goatee still itches on his chin, but he needs to get a feel for Alec’s reaction before he goes ahead and shaves it.

He forbids himself from pulling at his facial hair and grabs his mug of coffee instead, hissing when it nearly burns his hand. “Hey, you okay?” Alec asks, his voice quiet and concerned.

“I’m fine, Alexander,” Magnus makes himself smile. There’s no reason for this to go badly. Last night, even though Alec didn’t know much, was already affirming and relieving.

The concern is always there, especially given the culture Alec comes from, but Magnus has seen Alec fight hard against his own racism and internalized homophobia, and more recently his internalized ableism — and Alec is someone who doesn’t relent until he makes things right. Especially when he’s the one who made mistakes. It’s going to be okay.

“Tell me what you need,” Alec says, meeting his eyes — something he only does when he wants to show Magnus his support, explicitly and deliberately.

“Ask me?” Magnus tries. He hates feeling this vulnerable. “Ask me whatever questions you have, without beating around the bush.” Don’t make it awkward and painful, please.

“Alright, I can do that,” Alec smiles softly, and Magnus melts a little, like every time Alec looks at him like that. He takes a sip of his coffee. “So, I’ve read that there are a lot of different nonbinary identities. Do you use any of those labels for yourself? If you want to tell me.”

Magnus swallows in gratefulness. “I don’t, not really,” he replies. “Most of those labels are very recent, and they don’t really match with how I’ve learned to think about myself. Even nonbinary doesn’t feel exactly right, even if I fit the definition. But I use it because it’s rare for me to feel part of a community, of a group of people who share that with me.”

Alec nods thoughtfully. “I think I can relate with that,” he says. “The community thing, I mean. I’ve never actually thought about my gender, not beyond where it relates to my sexuality, but I guess not needing to think about it is a good sign that I’m cis.”

“Probably,” Magnus shrugs. “Does it feel strange for you? Realizing that you’re not really dating a man?”

Alec takes the time to think about it, though he never completely looks away. “No,” he says finally. “I won’t lie, maybe a few months ago it would have, because...I fought against my own gayness so much that when I finally accepted it, I needed it to be clear-cut. But I don’t feel like that anymore. If I learned something about identities and labels, it’s that they shouldn’t be boxes where you have to cut off parts of yourself to fit inside. I love you. I’m gay. You’re nonbinary. Those don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

Magnus needs a few long seconds before he remembers how to breathe. “They don’t,” he murmurs when he can finally speak again. Alec isn’t usually eloquent, but he has a knack for finding exactly the right words sometimes. And surprising Magnus, every day.

“Yesterday, you reacted when I called you a man,” Alec says slowly. “I’m probably going to slip up a few times until I get used to it, but can you tell me how you want me to speak of you? What words I should use?”

“Yesterday I was irritated and dysphoric,” Magnus replies. “It usually isn’t a problem. I don’t love those words and I’d prefer to avoid them when it’s just us, but socially, I’ve been taken for a man for so long… I can’t say it doesn’t bother me, but I’m not sure I can really imagine anything else. Sure, I’ve had fun glamouring myself into something more feminine, or cultivating an androgynous style at different times, but I’m still...I’m more comfortable being seen as a man than as a woman. Warlocks are sometimes seen as sexless by mortals, like Seelies, because our customs are so different, and I’ve always played with those perceptions.”

“Your name is masculine, right?”

Magnus shrugs. “Yes and no. It uses the masculine marker in Latin, but Latin was a language with grammatical gender. There are masculine words referencing females, and the other way around. And it’s a dead language, anyway. It was dead before I was born. I don’t think of my name as masculine.”

“Then, that’s what’s important,” Alec says. “What about pronouns?”

“I’ve used many different pronouns in many different languages,” Magnus answers. “I’ve always been partial to languages with no gendered pronouns like Turkish, but I really don’t care. He/him pronouns don’t make me feel bad, and I’m used to them.”

“There are languages with no gendered pronouns?” Alec asks, fascinated.

“A number of them,” Magnus says. “We really need to travel more. But to go back to your question, maybe in a few years or decades, I’ll be more comfortable with the new gender-neutral pronouns in English like they/them, but it takes me a while to get used to new things. So he/him is fine for now.”

“Okay,” Alec nods. “What about...we’ve been calling each other boyfriends. Would you rather I use something else?”

Magnus laughs, relief finally washing over him. He was tenser than he realized, and it makes him feel like jelly, suddenly. “No, Alexander. Hearing you calling me your boyfriend is far too endearing to change that. Please keep doing it.”

Alec’s face illuminates with a wide smile. “My nonbinary boyfriend,” he says playfully. “I know we’ve only barely scratched the surface, but is there something else I should know right now?”

Magnus runs a few things through his head, deciding to keep them for later — he’s very curious, and not all that apprehensive anymore, of what Alec’s reaction to him in feminine lingerie might be — and strokes his chin. “Oh,” comes the illumination. “I really want to shave my face right now. It’s been too long since I last did that.”

“Okay,” Alec says. “That’s a gender thing?”

“Sometimes facial hair feels dysphoric,” Magnus replies. “Like today. Sometimes I just want to look different.”

“I love both looks,” Alec says. “I love all of your looks. I love how I never know what you’re going to go for in the morning.”

Magnus starts eating his pancakes, but he decides that he doesn’t want to wait. He conjures a hand mirror in front of his plate and runs his glowing hand over his chin carefully, leaving smooth skin behind. Alec smiles at him over his coffee mug and Magnus smiles back, glancing at his now hairless face in the mirror. That feels better. Maybe he’ll go ahead and wax his legs and his chest as well.

“Of all the days to be called out on patrol—”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Alec sighs, trying to appease Magnus’ annoyance by squeezing his hand. It’s Sunday, it’s the middle of the day, he wasn’t expecting a call from the Institute at all. “But the nest is in a busy metro tunnel just below the end of the parade. In a few hours, there’s going to be thousands of people down there, and who knows when the demons might try to attack the trains. And they’re bat demons, so they need my bow.”

The curse—and occasional blessing, if Alec is honest with himself—of being the only archer worth his salt in the New York Institute, is that despite now being the official Head, he’s still needed on the patrol roster. Most Institute Heads retire from the field, the administrative and political work being a full time job, but Alec still goes out with his siblings several times a week, and he usually leads the special teams called to handle demon surges.

Today, he curses that necessity with everything he has. Magnus has been excited about their first Pride together for weeks, and Alec was truly happy to do this with him.

“We were supposed to go to the parade,” Magnus sulks.

“I’m really sorry,” Alec repeats. “Maybe if we handle this fast enough, I can join you part-way through? I’ll do my best.”

Magnus looks at him critically. “No. I’m coming with you.”

“I know the parade is important to you—”

“It’s only important if we go together,” Magnus answers. “If I come with you, it will be faster, and then I can portal us into the procession directly, if there’s still time.”

“Alright,” Alec nods.

The team, larger than usual patrols because of the size of the demon nest, is almost ready when Alec and Magnus make it to the ops center. Alec quickly gets his bow and quiver and straps on his thigh holsters, and moves to signal the go ahead.

“Wait,” Magnus holds him up. “If we’re going to do this, we’ll do it in style.”

Alec frowns as he waves his hand, releasing a cloud of blue magic onto the two of them. Alec looks down at himself, his eyes gliding over his outfit before he clocks the changes. The lapel of his leather jacket now holds two prominent flag pins, a rainbow one and one with the black, gray, white and purple of the asexual flag. He sees matching pins, significantly larger, on Magnus’ vest, with his own flags. It’s the first time, as far as Alec knows, that Magnus has outwardly worn his nonbinary identity in the Institute, and he feels a swell of pride at the shine in Magnus’ eyes.

“Look at your arrows, sir,” Underhill’s voice comes from over his shoulder.

Alec twists his head to see the fletching of his arrows, usually red, is now brightly colored. Each fletch bears the colors of a different pride flag.

“So we can defeat the demons with pride,” Magnus smirks when Alec looks back at him.

“I like it,” Alec smiles. The mass of bright colors hurts his eyes a little, but the gazes of his teammates on them aren’t full of judgment but of amusement, and that’s a victory in its own right. He runs a hand over the little pins on his lapel.

“Um, sir?” Underhill asks, clearing his throat.

“Yes?” Alec turns to him, but he realizes that Underhill is looking at Magnus and not at him.

He gestures at the pins Magnus is wearing, and Alec can feel Magnus brace himself for a comment. “Could I, uh, have one too?”

Magnus blinks. “Of course,” he recovers quickly. “Rainbow flag?”

“Yeah,” Underhill nods.

Magnus snaps his fingers, and a pin as large as his own appears on Underhill’s chest.

“Thank you!”

Alec is certain he can see his subordinate’s eyes shine.

“Anyone else?” Magnus asks, full of mirth. A few people grumble, including Jace, until a young Shadowhunter takes a step forward.

“Can I have a trans pin?” she asks, her voice only wavering a little.

Alec feels a swell of pride. Kara is one of the youngest recruits, a sixteen year old who’s mostly kept to herself since she transferred to the Institute last winter, because he was the only Head willing to accept her chosen name and pronouns. Her face is set in stubborn determination as she fields her teammates' stares and stands in front of Magnus. Magnus beams at her. “Here you go, darling,” he snaps his fingers again. Kara looks down at the shiny pastel colored pin in reverence, and flashes him a smile.

“Are we ready to go?” Alec asks. He doesn’t want to break the moment, but they really need to move.

Magnus takes a step back and throws out a portal in front of them. “Let’s go kill some demons,” he says.

Alec grabs an aromantic-themed arrow from his quiver, smiling internally at the pun, and nocks it onto his bow string before stepping through the portal.

Alec does his best to pay attention to what Jia is telling him, but he’s not having the best time of it. He’s had a full glass of champagne already and it’s getting to his head a little, and the ambient noise isn’t helping his concentration — in fact, it’s loud enough that his head is pounding and he’s losing track of what’s going on.

And then, there’s Magnus. Alec keeps stealing concerned glances at him, standing across the room in conversation with an older Shadowhunter from the Prague Institute. It’s been at least ten minutes, and every time Alec looks, Magnus is wearing a new accessory.

Alec knows why Magnus elected for a plain look today, for their very first reception since they moved to Alicante. He wanted to avoid dragging attention to him, knowing that many people in attendance are doubtful toward the new High Warlock of Alicante. Tonight marks Alec’s official nomination as Inquisitor, and he wanted to spare Alec a scene.

Alec is starting to suspect that a scene may be unavoidable, and if the reason is what he suspects, then he will wholeheartedly defend Magnus. It started with earrings. Magnus went for a simple dark suit with almost no jewelry beside his wedding ring, but he’s now sporting a very shiny pair of diamond earrings. And a necklace. And a butterfly hair clip that probably costs more than a year of Alec’s now sizable salary.

And now, lipstick. Very obvious, bright red lipstick.

“I’m so sorry,” Alec turns back to Jia, “but I believe my husband needs my help.”

Even though she’s now his direct superior, he doesn’t wait to be dismissed and he strides through the room, his height and his new status meaning that everyone gets out of his way. Izzy catches his eyes briefly, and Alec signals at her to stand by.

By the time he’s made it to his husband’s side, Magnus’ hair has turned into a vibrant rendition of the nonbinary flag, and that’s not a good sign. Alec steps into his field of vision before putting a hand on his arm.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Peachy,” Magnus says through his teeth. “This gentleman right here was just telling me about a very strange sort of demon that possesses young Nephilim men and makes them pretend to be women in order to assault actual women.”

Alec blinks as he takes that in, as well as the poison in Magnus’ tone. He tightens his grip on Magnus’ arm, feeling the stares on them — Magnus’ new hair color is hard to miss.

“Really?” he asks innocently, tilting his head. “I’ve never heard of those demons. I should read up on them, so I can make sure every Institute is fully ready for an invasion. What did you say their classification was, Mr. Svec?”

The man gapes at him. “They’re...uh...I don’t…”

“That’s what I thought,” Alec says icily. “There’s no such thing. You’re Kara’s father, aren’t you?”

“That monster isn’t my son,” Svec spits out.

“No, you’re right. She’s not. She’s your daughter. And she’s absolutely thriving at the New York Institute, by the way. She’s the best fighter in her class. That’s what happens when people accept you for who you are.” Alec deliberately turns his back to the sputtering man and looks at Magnus. “Honey, it’s getting late, we should probably head home,” he says, purposefully speaking louder than he needs to. Magnus is trembling with rage, fighting to rein himself in. “Let me just tell Jia, okay?” he adds in a murmur, just for Magnus.

Magnus closes his eyes and nods. “Get me away from him,” he says.

Alec gently guides him over to Izzy, who immediately takes Magnus’ hand. “Let’s stay out of the crowd,” she says, nodding at Alec that she’ll take care of him.

Alec finds Jia with Aline by the buffet. “I can’t condone this kind of bigotry coming from the Head of an Institute,” he says through his teeth.

“I don’t think he’ll try that twice around you,” Aline chuckles, nodding toward Svec, who is now glaring at them from across the room, clearly ostracized. “He didn’t make any friends tonight.”

“What happened tonight isn’t enough to remove him, but as Inquisitor, you’ll be able to push for someone else to take his place when his contract is up in six months,” Jia says. “I understand your anger, Alec. But we can’t change people in a day.”

Alec remembers, not for the first time since she offered him the job of Inquisitor, that she’s not just the progressivist Consul that the most conservative Nephilim frown at, or the mother of one of his best friends. She’s also the person who once sentenced Clary to death without a second thought. If he wants change, he’ll have to bring it on himself.

He exchanges a look with Aline, thinking of the folder on his new desk, the proposal they might have a chance at getting through now that he’s the Inquisitor. Jia’s right, it won’t be done in a day. But it will happen. Alec will make it happen.

And if at some point in the meantime, he has the opportunity to get rid of a few bigots like Svec, he won’t turn his nose up at it.

“Magnus and I are going home,” he says. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Congratulations on the promotion again,” Jia nods. “I’ll expect you in my office at eight tomorrow.”

“Good night.” Alec has to unclench his fist to shake Jia’s hand, and he realizes just how angry he is. Aline clasps him on the shoulder with an understanding look.

He finds Magnus and Izzy at the door, ready to go. “Can you portal us home?” he asks Magnus as they step outside.

Magnus wordlessly opens a portal and steps through without checking that Alec is following him, a testimony of how unsettled he still is. Alec takes the time to hug Izzy before he goes through. “You were amazing,” she slips him, kissing him on the cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he answers. “Thanks for your help.”

Alec comes behind Magnus and embraces him as soon as he’s out of the portal. Magnus took them straight to their bedroom, but he hasn’t moved since, standing there trembling in rage — or in something else.

“I love you,” Alec murmurs over and over in his ear. “All of you.”

After a minute, the shaking subsides, and Alec feels his own anger drain with it. It leaves him tired and out of sorts, his head still ringing with the noise of the reception. He loosens his hold on Magnus and takes one hand off of him to pull off his tie.

“I’m sorry,” Magnus murmurs. “I really wanted to avoid making a scene.”

Alec moves to face him. “Don’t ever apologize for something a bigot caused. It wasn’t you.”

“I tried to just ignore him, but—”

“He was awful,” Alec finishes. “I know.”

“I don’t know why I let him get to me so much,” Magnus sighs.

Alec guides them both to sit down on the bed.

“You love Kara,” he says. “He was saying horrible things.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I didn’t even know that was her father.”

Alec shrugs. “We all get triggered sometimes. He just pushed the wrong buttons.”

Magnus curls up and buries his hands in his still colored hair. “I usually have better control than that,” he says.

“I think I know what happened,” Alec sighs. “You were feeling insecure because you toned down your whole identity for me, in a place where you don’t feel safe. You were already on edge, and probably dysphoric, am I wrong?”

“No,” Magnus mutters. “I hate slacks.”

“Magnus, I don’t want you to change yourself for me, ever,” Alec says. He puts a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, to make sure that he’s really listening. Magnus looks up at him. “I don’t want you to make yourself smaller or more acceptable because you think it will be better for me.”

“I just—” Magnus sighs. “It was your day.”

“We’re not, ever, going to be normal. Not for the Downworld, and definitely not for the Clave. And I don’t want us to be, Magnus. I’ve spent enough time trying to make myself fit into a mold that didn’t fit me. I don’t ever want you to tone yourself done for them.”

“Okay,” Magnus murmurs, his voice fragile. Alec feels a strong pulse of anger at Svec course through him again, seeing Magnus so vulnerable. Magnus isn’t supposed to be vulnerable. Not about this.

Or maybe he’s more insecure about it than Alec realized.

Alec holds him for a while in silence, feeling Magnus’ need to recoup. “How did you know I was feeling dysphoric?” Magnus asks suddenly, after a few minutes.

“I’m starting to recognize it,” Alec shrugs. “Also, you might want to look at a mirror.”

Before he can realize it, Magnus is out of his embrace, staring at a hastily conjured hand mirror. “Fuck,” he mutters, showing Alec that his suspicion was right. Magnus didn’t realize the way his magic responded to his discomfort.

“Did I just come out to the entire Council because I was angry?”

“Uh,” Alec hesitates. “I doubt that many of them know what the colors mean. They’ll just put it down as one of your...eccentricities. Izzy might know, though.”

“That’s why she kept saying she loved me,” Magnus breathes out, running a hand through his colorful hair.

“Should I be jealous?” Alec raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, Alexander. I’ve been thinking of leaving you for Isabelle’s legendary cooking skills.”

Alec makes a face at him, then he reaches out and touches the tip of Magnus’ artfully styled hair where it’s dyed bright yellow. “I like this look on you,” he says. “I mean, I don’t like that you felt so threatened that your magic reacted this way, but I like to see you proud and loud. You’re beautiful.”

Magnus beams at him and relaxes back against Alec’s chest, holding up the mirror to look at the both of them, Alec straight-backed in his serious black suit and Magnus boneless against him, a flurry of colors. Alec wonders, often — especially on days like today — if they could make a more disparate couple, at least in the eyes of the world.

And yet the ways in which they fit together outweigh their differences, every day.

+1.

“I asked you here because I want to show you something,” Alec says when Magnus walks into his office on a Friday afternoon, holding his phone in his hand and looking confused.

Magnus stills at his seriousness. “Is something wrong?”

“No, not at all. The opposite, actually. But it’s important to me, and I thought you’d want to see it.”

Alec takes a thin blue folder from his desk and hands it over to Magnus, a small smile on his lips. Magnus opens it with a frown.

“What is this?” he asks.

“The ruling from the latest Council meeting,” Alec answers. “It came in just this afternoon.”

“The one they asked you to testify in?”

Alec confirms with a nod. He didn’t tell Magnus exactly why he needed to talk at the Council assembly, but it’s a common enough occurrence that Magnus didn’t think much of it. To Alec, though, it was a moment he’s waited for for a long time.

He watches Magnus skim the first lines of the ruling, his eyebrows shooting up. “Is that what I think it is?” Magnus asks, glancing up at him.

Alec’s fingers find his wedding ring and start spinning it. “Depends what you’re thinking,” he shrugs, trying to look unconcerned. He probably shouldn’t be anxious about Magnus’ reaction, but he is. “It’s the first part of a set of amendments to Clave law that I’ve been pushing for since before I was named Inquisitor. Aline and I presented them to the Council last month, and they’ve just been voted.”

“You and Aline,” Magnus says pensively. “‘Amendments concerning the inclusion of members of the LGBTQUIA+ community,’” he reads out loud. “You did this?”

“Full marriage equality regardless of gender, including for mixed-species couples,” Alec recites. “Automatic acceptance of name and gender change requests if related to transition. Recognition of the existence of genders outside the binary.”

Magnus gasps in surprise. Alec nods to confirm the truth of it. It’s one of the things the Council fought back the most on, and he pushed hard to get it to pass. It goes beyond even mundane progress in every country he’s looked up, but it was too important to let go.

“Anti-discrimination policies,” he continues. “And this one might affect us directly someday: equal rights to adoption and the use of surrogates.”

Magnus’ eyes light up briefly, though he doesn’t immediately comment. Alec wrings his hands and rambles on nervously. “We didn’t manage to get the legalization of polyamorous marriages, but we’ll keep working on it. We’re preparing a second proposal on Downworlder inclusion, but that one will probably make amendments to the Accords necessary, and that will take a lot more time.”

“Alexander,” Magnus says in a low voice. Alec almost keeps going, too nervous to stop, but there’s something almost dangerous in Magnus’ gaze.

“Yes?”

“You did all this?”

“Not on my own,” Alec shakes his head. “Aline wrote up most of the proposal, and we got as many queer Shadowhunters to come testify as possible. There aren’t a lot of trans Nephilim who are out, but it was important, especially since most of the people on the Council have little knowledge of these issues. Aline being Jia’s daughter probably helped a lot, and our wedding made a lot of noise around here.”

“No,” Magnus catches his wrist. “You did all this and you didn’t tell me anything? Not once?”

Alec deflates. “I, uh… I wasn’t sure it would go anywhere at first, and I know Clave politics can be a touchy subject for you. And then when we finally got the hearing, I kind of wanted to keep it a surprise? I didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t work.”

He doesn’t understand Magnus’ reaction, or rather his lack of reaction. He’s been absurdly happy ever since Aline came by his office earlier this afternoon to bring him the ruling, and he thought Magnus would share his mood once he found out. But he seems pensive instead, like this doesn’t interest him all that much.

“What about you, Alexander?” he asks. “What if it hadn’t worked?”

“We would have kept trying,” Alec shrugs. “Like the last four times we submitted the proposal.”

Magnus blinks. “Four times?”

“The first time, it didn’t even make it past Jia’s office. She’s supportive, but it was shortly after she was elected, and she couldn’t afford the waves it would make when there were still so many Circle supporters around.” Alec consciously stops himself from talking and stills his hands, clasping them behind his back. “Magnus—”

“Yes?” Magnus prompts him.

“Are you angry I didn’t tell you?”

Magnus’ eyes widen in surprise. “No, Alexander, of course not. I’m just—overwhelmed, I suppose. I’m sorry I made you think that.”

“Then what is it? I thought you’d like it.”

Magnus looks away, biting his lip. “I do,” he says. “I—what you’ve accomplished is incredible. It’s going to change—everything—for some people, and that’s amazing. And I know that you didn’t do it for me, but—”

“You’ll be able to get the gender mentioned on your Idris ID changed or removed,” Alec finishes for him. “And anything else you want. I did do it for you, Magnus. Not just you, but for you, too.”

“I’m not a Shadowhunter,” Magnus says.

“You live here, now. This will apply to every Downworlder in Idris, too.”

Magnus works his jaw. “I’m having a hard time processing it,” he admits. “It’s been so long that—to be able to have my whole identity recognized, in Idris of all places—it’s almost impossible to believe.”

Alec’s tension relaxes almost on its own. “You can take your time,” he smiles. “It will still be here tomorrow, and the day after. Are you...mad that I didn’t include you in the process?”

“Why didn’t you?” Magnus frowns.

“I figured you had other things on your mind, with all the work you’re doing to get more Downworlders to move here. And it felt like...like something we should achieve on our own, somehow? I don’t know if that makes sense. Aline and I discussed asking you for advice several times, but we felt like it should be our project.”

“It does make sense,” Magnus nods. “This isn’t just about changing the law. You’re trying to change the culture, your culture, and I’ll never be a part of that. I understand.”

“I don’t want you to feel excluded,” Alec says immediately.

“I don’t. I’m amazed at what you’ve achieved. And if the next step is a rewrite of the Accords, then I’ll back you every step of the way, and push for those changes in the Downworld communities too.” He reaches out to stroke Alec’s cheek tenderly. “I love you, Alexander. You still surprise me every day, and I love you so much for it.”

Alec feels his heart speed up at the declaration, a wave of warmth and love coursing through him, reaching for Magnus. He opens his arms, and Magnus comes to nestle his face in Alec’s neck, hugging him tightly. “I love you too,” Alec says. “It would mean everything to me if we can take this next step in tandem. Change the world together.”

Magnus moves to beam up at him. “You’re incredible, Alexander. You know that?”

“You keep telling me,” Alec smiles, leaning in to kiss him.

As they pull apart again, he can’t help admiring the way the light hits Magnus’ face just right, highlighting the golden sparkles in his blue eyeshadow. Magnus has made it a point to wear warlock blue everyday since they moved to Alicante, but today it’s subdued, down to just his makeup and a discreet sapphire bracelet. He tilts his head, and the light makes his eyes glow.

“When you said the amendment about adoption could affect us, did you mean it?” he asks.

Alec bites his lip. “I know we’ve only talked about children in a very abstract way, but—is that something you’d want?” he asks in a smaller voice than he’d like.

“I’ve never truly wanted it before I met you, but yes, I think I would,” Magnus answers, looking a little awestruck by his own realization.

“It’s not something we need to commit to right now,” Alec reassures him. “But now, if we want to, the Clave will fully recognize any child we adopt as ours, and as a legal resident of Idris.”

“All thanks to you,” Magnus murmurs, tears in his eyes. “Yes, Alexander, I want children with you.”

“Then we’ll start thinking about that,” Alec says with a wide smile. “For now, let’s go home and celebrate properly.”

Magnus laughs wetly and twists his hand to make a portal. “After you,” he says.

Alec grabs his hand and pulls them through together.

#shadowhunters #malec #malec fic #alec lightwood #magnus bane #shadowhunters fic #mine #echo's fanfiction #map out a world #autistic alec lightwood #asexual alec lightwood #nonbinary magnus bane #malec discord server #hmdiscord

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bytheangell · 4 years

Text

Thinking Reckless

(tw: self-harm, references to anxiety) (Read on AO3)

It starts off innocently enough. Alec is out on a patrol with a few new recruits when things get a little dicey - an unexpected encounter with a demon turns into an unexpected encounter with several demons. Nothing they can’t handle, but it’s far from smooth. When things move to the close quarters of a dark alleyway Alec finds himself in the way of a haphazard, panicked knife slice that catches his arm instead of the intended demon, hissing at the sharp bite of pain. Giving himself a moment to make sure the damage is mostly superficial Alec jumps back in to deliver the killing blows to the remaining two demons.

“Everyone alright?” He calls out, glancing around the small group. They’re winded but wide-eyed with adrenaline, used to trainings and simulations, not the real thing.

“Are you alright?” One of the boys asks him, glancing at the bleeding cut on his arm that’s clearly visible through the torn fabric of his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Sir, I-”

Alec dismisses him with a shake of his head. “I’m fine. It’s fine, Whitmark. Just keep the blade a little closer next time, alright? You have to keep it controlled, no wild swings. If Jace saw that after last week’s lesson he’d have your head,” Alec laughed a little to show the advice comes good-naturedly.

The young Shadowhunter nods, relieved he isn’t in trouble, and Alec puts in a call for a clean-up team before wrangling his patrol back to the Institute to get checked out. There are a few with scratches from the demon, and Alec saw one of them take a pretty nasty fall during the fight, so it’s always better safe than sorry.

There’s a lot going on, from using some of their missteps as teachable moments on the walk back to the general bustle of the Institute when they get back, his focus entirely on the new recruits and the debriefing afterward. The cut on his arm stings, though the pain fades to something dull and comforting among the rest of the night’s activity. Once and awhile, entirely subconsciously, he brings a hand up to touch it gently, wincing slightly at the momentary jolt of pain before it fades back to that background ache, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

When Magnus asks him about it later Alec says that he just forgot - except that isn’t quite true. He was aware of the cut from the moment he got it, he just didn’t mind. If he thinks too hard about it he might wonder if he liked the feeling, one he hasn’t had in a while… so he does his best not to think about it.

The same way Alect absolutely doesn’t think about the sense of loss he experiences when Magnus magics the cut, and the pain, away.

---

It’s a rare day off and Alec finds himself sitting out on the balcony, pouring cream into half a dozen tiny saucers for the strays while Magnus is out meeting a client. He’s around Magnus’ Loft often enough that the cats recognize him, and trust him enough to come over to be pet if they’re feeling sociable. The sun is out so Alec shrugs off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves before sitting himself down on the ground. If he’s being honest he hates days off - they make him tense, constantly anxious over things that need to get done, ways he could be helping - and he can’t wait for Magnus to get back and help quiet those thoughts a bit.

Alec starts to play with one of them, swiping his hand back and forth along the ground while the cat bats at it, when the cat finally catches him. Alec snaps his hand back, watching the angry red lines form down the top of his wrist from the cat’s claws.

It hardly hurts, barely a flesh wound, just a light prickling. Nothing worth stopping over, as the cat rolls onto it’s back in a clear dare for Alec to even try and pet it’s stomach. Alec does, and they repeat the game from before a few times before all four of the cat’s paws close in on his arm, catching him in more light scratches.

On some level, he knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows why the pain is so intimately familiar, he knows why he doesn’t stop, even though he should. But he isn’t doing anything wrong. This isn’t his bow or the punching bag. He’s just playing with the cats. It’s fine. He’s fine. For now, he allows himself the comfort of the distraction. The scratches aren’t doing any real harm, so he sees no need to do anything about them right away but he definitely will once he’s done.

Except the sound of the front door reaches him and Alec hesitates only a second before sliding his shirt sleeves down and shrugging his jacket back on, hiding the red marks from Magnus by the time he comes outside. Alec knows it’s wrong the moment he feels the guilt wash over him. Memories of old habits come to him unbidden - of keeping secret cuts and bruises hidden from those around him, ones he’d press on during stressful meetings or when he caught himself drifting or spiraling, to anchor him. He remembers the moments, but more than that, he remembers the feelings: an almost serene sense of focus, of self-awareness, of calming control.

He remembers it all and he misses it, and the desire wins out over the guilt.

“Careful, or they’ll start to like you more than me and follow you back to the Institute,” Magnus jokes, watching the way the ones Alec was playing with come to circle around Alec’s feet first, then Magnus’, as they stand together.

Alec leans in to kiss Magnus hello, feeling the sting up and down his lower arm with the shift of fabric as he moves his arm to wrap around Magnus’ waist. Not just feeling it - enjoying it. He experiences a brief moment of annoyance to think he should be past this, that he should be better than this; it passes as quickly as it came and instead he practically sinks into that familiar comfort like pulling on an old favorite sweater or embracing a friend you haven’t seen in too long.

“They only like me when you’re not here,” Alec reassures him, the smile on his face not betraying an ounce of discomfort despite his constant awareness of the scratches now that his sleeves are pushed back down and he’s moving around in the jacket. Instead of distracting him they do the opposite - they keep him focused and present. Not that he needs that now, not when Magnus so easily commands all of his attention and eases his mind and his soul.

...he doesn’t need it, not the way he used to. That would be a reassuring realization if the greater implication wasn’t even more concerning: he might not need it but he wants it, missing it enough to chase the ghost of it here on the balcony. Enough to know he has no intention of slipping away to apply a quick iratze.

“Ready?” Magnus asks, breaking into his thoughts. “Dinner awaits.”

“Dinner awaits,” Alec agrees, turning with him to leave.

When he says the long-sleeved shirt he wears to bed that night is because of the increasing chill in the air, he almost believes it himself.

---

There’s no reason for Alec to run in front of the others the way he does, making no move to activate the seraph blade at his side. He’s too close, his blocks with his bow too sloppy, and it’s no surprise when he gets caught across his thigh by the sharp claws of the elapid demon. It’s especially no surprise to Alec because it’s exactly what he intended. This isn’t the first dangerous mission Alec volunteered himself for lately, and it isn’t the first he’ll come back injured from, either.

It is a surprise when the claws are followed by teeth so quickly that he has no time to block when he actually wants to, and if it wasn’t for Jace throwing one of his knives at the demon’s head Alec would be in much worse shape than a few drops of venom from its fangs that managed to break the surface of his skin.

The mission is a success, technically speaking. They got the swarm of elapid demons taken care of without a single one escaping into the city and no one died, which is all that matters when it comes down to it as far as the Clave is concerned.

To almost anyone who’s there, it simply looks like Alec took control of the situation and put himself in front of the others to protect them like any good leader would. If he had a group of newbies with him or any of the numerous Shadowhunters he isn’t particularly close with, he could get away with that.

Except it isn’t just a ragtag group of ‘anyone else’ on the mission with him: it’s Jace. Alec tries to avoid him even as he feels his steps swaying from the poison in the venom hitting his bloodstream. He could’ve given himself an iratze at any point after the danger passed but he pushed himself in the hopes of drawing it out just long enough to write up a report first. Instead, he nearly passes out two steps past the front door. Foolish. Careless.

Jace practically drags him the rest of the way to the Infirmary.

“What the hell was that?” Jace demands the second the Infirmary’s healer walks away.

“I was too slow on the blo-” Alec starts, ready to repeat the same thing he’d told the nurse, but Jace isn’t having it.

“I was there. You weren’t too slow, you weren’t even trying,” Jace accuses.

Alec’s distracted, already missing the ache healed away by potions and iratzes, silently cursing himself for the careless slip-up that landed him in the infirmary rather than his office upon his return.

When Alec doesn’t immediately reply Jace charges on, unrelenting.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” The question holds both anger and sadness, the frustration of a brother and parabatai unable to help the hurting soul he’s attached to.

“What? No, of course not,” Alec says, forcing his head back into the conversation. “I fucked up, alright? I made a mistake, it won’t happen again.”

Does he mean he won’t pull a stunt like that again, or that he won’t get caught pulling a stunt like that again? Alec isn’t certain, but the words are honest, a lot more honest than he’s allowed himself to be in a while. The longer the sentiment sits heavy in the air between them the more uncomfortable Alec grows. The pain used to be about grounding himself, about feeling in control, and lately he’s been anything but grounded or in control. Today he’d been borderline reckless.

“I’m on all your missions this week,” Jace says finally. It isn’t a request, and though Alec could pull rank and pick a fight he just doesn’t have it in him right then.

“Whatever,” Alec says, rolling his eyes. He isn’t really angry with Jace for not believing him, not in small part because he knows that Jace is right. If their roles were reversed Alec would be doing the exact same thing, and if he had the presence of mind to be objective he’d know this is for the best. Except he can’t be rational when all he sees is a week without what’s become an almost routine pattern of trying to chase this particular release without completely giving in to it, and just thinking about going without it for that long puts him on edge.

“Should I call Magnus to come get you?” Jace asks, in a would-be casual tone under any other circumstances. They both know Alec won’t bother Magnus in the middle of the night over something like this, no matter how much he might want to, but if Jace calls, Alec can pretend it’s out of his hands and play it off as an overprotective sibling instead of a personal need.

“No,” Alec says, and maybe he turns the offer down a bit too forcefully because Jace immediately raises an eyebrow. “It’s already late, I’ll just sleep it off here.”

“You sure?” Jace asks again. They both also know that Alec is much more likely to be persuaded to take care of himself by Magnus’ concern than Jace’s, especially after so many years of Alec conditioning himself to brush off his siblings’ worries as nothing more than nagging.

Alec nods. “I’m fine, really. Just tired.”

Jace eyes him warily for another minute. This is one of those rare moments he wishes Jace didn’t know him as well as he does. Alec can practically hear Jace mentally debating whether he should ignore both of Alec’s refusals and call Magnus anyway, but instead Jace sighs and decides not to push it. “Alright.”

Alec waits for Jace to leave before standing, stretching his sore limbs. It takes him all of two steps into the hallway before he gives in to the pull of the training room over his bedroom, telling himself it’s just to tire himself out a little before bed so he’ll sleep better. Except he can’t even fool himself on that one - he’s exhausted already and everything aches, and not in a good way. Up until now, he could lie to himself about exactly what he was doing, but this? He told himself as long as he didn’t end up back here that it wasn’t the same, that he hadn’t really slipped... And now here he is. If he does this, now, he’ll be crossing a line he isn’t sure he’ll come back from in one piece.

Instead of walking over to the punching bag, he came here for Alec paces back and forth in front of the door, running his hands anxiously up and down his bare arms. At first, it’s an instinctive, comforting motion, but then he feels a familiar sting and looks down, surprised to see red lines where he’d turned to running his nails up and down his arms without meaning to.

Alec made a lot of mistakes lately - today especially - and coming here is just another one to add to the pile. He knows it, he acknowledges it this time in a way he hadn’t all the others… but instead of leaving, he begins to pace again, conflicted. He wants to stay. He wants to stay and shoot and hit the punching bag until he gets back that sense of distraction he lost earlier in the infirmary. He wants the pain to focus and ground him. He wants to give in so badly it nearly consumes him, until walking away barely feels like an option anymore.

He wants and desires and craves more than he has in a long, long time… but he won’t allow himself to need it.

Alec’s hands are shaking as he pulls the phone out of his back pocket and pulls up Magnus’ contact... Then he stares at the screen. And stares at it. And finally closes out of it and slips the phone back into his pocket.

He knows he should call Magnus. That he should talk to him, or Jace, or anyone about what he’s feeling. There are people he can turn to, people who have told him time and time again that they’re willing to listen any time he needs... friends and family who know of his history and would be more than happy to help him talk things through instead of allowing himself to face these lows alone over and over.

He knows he should, but he can’t bring himself to do it. Talking about it would make something he’s barely been able to admit to himself feel too real, and his emotions are way too raw, too unstable to put into proper coherent thought just then. He doesn’t think he can handle the patronizing tones and pitying glances that would come with That Particular Conversation no matter how well-meant.

Alec spares one last, longing glance at the punching bag and the weapons rack before turning and walking out of the training room. He doesn’t stall or look back before heading straight towards the stairs that lead to his room. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be able to talk about it. Maybe tomorrow he can make that extra step. For now, he needs to figure out how to want this for himself.

For tonight, being able to walk away is a win he’s more than willing to take.

#alec lightwood #magnus bane #malec #jace herondale #shadowhunters #tw: self-harm #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #long post

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