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amintyworld · 3 years

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It’s a Wonderful Life, Tommy - Dream SMP Holiday Oneshot

A/N: So this started as an imagine that I wanted to do a bullet fic for, but I got carried away and kind of, sort of, wrote an 11-page fic? So, sorry for the extra setup at the beginning. It’s inspired off two of my favorite Christmas movies: ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ and ‘A Christmas Carol’ and I ended up with a pretty good even blend of the two, and I’m pretty proud of this. Here’s my Christmas gift to the fandom, I hope you enjoy! So, grab your hot cocoa and Christmas cookies, settle into a blanket and enjoy this holiday tale. -Minty

Summary: After a nasty fight with Tubbo combined with Tommy’s worsening depression, its Tommy’s final straw as he decides he’s ready to give up. But, it looks like Tommy’s condition and situation has gotten some supernatural attention.

TW: Suicide attempt, talks of suicide, heavy blood and gore, manipulation and blame, major character deaths(?), insanity. (Please tell me if I need to tag anything else!)

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Imagine it’s Christmas Eve but he didn’t end up going with Technoblade and he’s still alone. He’s still as depressed as ever, and on top of all of that, he had an argument when Tubbo tried to visit that ended worse than anything Tommy ever imagined.

Tommy’s trying his best to enjoy the holiday and ends up wandering around, stumbling upon Technoblade’s house - where Ghostbur and Techno are both singing carols while decorating a tree. Tommy’s heart aches with loneliness as he quickly leaves before anyone could see him through the window. No one had left him any presents (Dream burned them all secretly) and he kept looking over Dream’s gift - a white porcelain mask with eyes and no mouth, like Dream’s. Dream claimed in his note that things were getting dangerous and it was to keep him safe and hide his identity. Something about it felt off, though.

He didn’t want to assume the worst of his friend, but it seemed more like a gift Dream wanted him to have instead of something he wanted. That’s why after a while of just holding it and tracing over the details with his fingers he put it away in his chest. He climbed his tower again and was getting ready to aim for the top of a tree, done with everything - with trying to hope when everything he ever had, his friends and family, were gone. He kept searching for a point to his suffering and found none, so he decided to finally end things for good.

A voice called out to him. It was Phil.

“It’s not really the season for giving up hope, now is it?”

Tommy was of course startled, as a floating spirit in the form of what looks like Philza, his dad, flying and floating in front of him... with wings? Tommy is trying to compose himself while trying to discern whether or not his ‘thing’ is real - touching his shoulder only to touch absolutely nothing, yelling at it to see if it’s a demon, while the spirit is nonetheless, unimpressed. “What are you? Are you really Phil, or am i just... hallucinating again?”

“I am quite real - you can call me your guide of sorts. I’ve taken the form of your loved one to make you feel more at ease. Anyway, Tommyinnit, I’m sent here to stop you from jumping from this pillar.”

“Why exactly should I listen to you? For all I know, you’re just another weird vision like Tubbo was. I’m really tired of my messed up mind, just go away.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Tommy. It’s my sworn duty to step in here, for your behalf.”

“My behalf?! I assure you, whoever you are, I’d be happier dead than to live without anyone who really cares about me.”

“How about a deal then? I will show you three places, events, and if I can’t change your mind, I’ll leave you alone.”

“No lying?”

“Why would I?”

“Okay, sure.” Tommy still didn’t think any of this was real, but he was honestly curious where this weird dream was going. The Guide took Tommy’s hand and told him to trust him, and they both jumped, Tommy yelling, confused, as he fell, fell, fell, preparing for impact and probably death, instead of falling into... snow?

He shivered and looked around - how is the sun up, it was the night a few seconds ago...? The Guide took his hand with a comforting smile and led him through the trees when Tommy froze in his tracks. A house... he KNEW that house. “Look familiar?”

Shouts nearby made his head whip around as a snowball raced toward him. He braced for impact, but it didn’t hit him. Instead, it hit a tree trunk behind him. Laughter filled the air as he heard a familiar voice behind him yell. “HA, your aim is shit, Tommy!” He saw a young version of Technoblade rush through the bushes, and... that was him... a young version of him in the trees, snowball in hand, angry at his missed shot.

“Yeah, well I still have the high ground, you arsehole!” He noticed a young Tubbo next to him, a snowball in each hand wearing a green coat that was way too big for him. He laughed, remembering it - Phil didn’t have money for a new coat for Tubbo that year, so he gave him his older one to use, and the poor kid kept falling over and tripping on it. Tubbo handed Tommy another snowball as they both pelted the snowballs down as Techno rushed into some cover behind a rock.

“This is Christmas by the lake, where Phil grew up. But, how can I see it, that was over six years ago-?” Tommy turned to the guide who showed him who his whole body turned translucent.

“In order to show you events, we must travel to that point in time, but we’ll only be observers, we can’t interact with them.”

Tommy looked over as Technoblade pelted Tommy with a snowball hard, making him lose his balance and fall to the snowy ground below. “This is unreal, it’s so clear, how can I recall this in a dream...?”

“I told you, I am a spirit Tommy, your Guide.” Looking around at it all, Tommy couldn’t help but to start to believe him. The smell of gingerbread filled his nose from the house as Wilbur walked out, his hands in the air.

“Okay guys, Phil told me to tell you to come inside-” Before his older brother could even finish his sentence, three snowballs hit him square in the face. “Hey, I’m not even playing!”

“You’re in the kill zone, Wil!” Tubbo shouted from the treetops as if that would explain everything.

“Ugh, why are you all so annoying-”

Techno smirked, looking over at his brother from his spot covered by the rock. “Aw, come on, don’t be a buzzkill Wilby.” Wilbur stopped at the nickname and turned with a fire in his eyes.

“I’ll show you buzzkill-!” He shouted as he threw a snowball at Techno, running for his own cover.

“Look at you, surrounded by your family, your best friend - it seems like you all love each other a lot.”

“Well, of course, we’re family.” Tommy paused, realizing what he said and quickly correcting himself. “At least, we were.” He watched the scene unfold - Philza called them in for cookies and cocoa and they all rushed into the house. While running, Tubbo tripped on his coat and fell again, and Tommy saw himself stay back and help Tubbo to his feet with a smile.

“I bet Tubbo appreciated your friendship, especially then.”

“Well, I knew what it was like to be the new kid in the family, you know? It’s awkward and weird at first to settle into. You’re by yourself for so long it’s hard to get used to being around people all the time who give you so much affection.” He walked over toward the window and looked inside - Phil put on some Christmas music that blasted through the player and Techno covered his ears, begging for something different, making everyone laugh. Wilbur pulled out his guitar as Technoblade practically slammed the ‘stop’ button on the player.

“All of you look close.”

“We are- were,” Tommy said. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter, none of this does - even if they cared for me and loved me then, doesn’t mean they do now.”

“I thought you said family loved each other no matter what.” The Guide said smoothly. “Why would it make sense for them to stop loving you now?”

“I don’t know...” Tommy breathed, his mind confused and questioning. “Maybe we’re not family. Maybe we... maybe we never were. Anyways, you’ve shown me enough of this to count for the deal, let’s just move on.”

“Hold on, we’re gonna miss my favorite part.” The Guide said as Philza came in with a Santa hat.

“As per tradition in the Sleepy Boys Incorporated Household, me - the Grand Master - shall decide who gets to receive an extra special gift to open before Christmas Day.” Wilbur bounced excitedly on the couch, and Tommy crossed his fingers as they waited. “I have tallied the points-”

“I still think there’s no point system-” Technoblade mumbled as Philza continued.

“And this year, the wearer of the special Santa hat goes to... Tommy!” Phil said as he tossed it over to the boy, who smiled widely. “For your extra help around the house and chores, this year’s for you, buddy.”

“Yay, Tommy!” Wilbur said from the couch as Technoblade smiled and nodded in approval. Tubbo clapped and cheered - this was the first year Tommy had ever been given the hat. Outside the window, Tommy crossed his arms and looked at the snow, knowing what was going to happen next. Young Tommy smiled wide as he clutched the Santa hat in his hands. He looked over to Tubbo for a moment, then to the hat, unknown thoughts in his head. Then, he handed it out to Tubbo.

“Here. You can have it.”

Tubbo looked confused. “But Tommy, you worked so hard for this - you did extra chores, you helped out Wilbur when his beanie got stuck in the tree... you didn’t curse for an entire week!”

“I know.” He smiled, turning into a smirk. “But, you know, if it was that easy for me to get it this year, I can always get it again. And, since it was harder for you, if I don’t give you the hat now, you probably won’t get it until you’re Phil’s age.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Philza shouted as he carried in a large gift-wrapped box to set on the table.

“But Tommy-” Tubbo tried to interject, but Tommy threw him the hat.

“Come on, I insist,” Tommy said, and the two best friends hugged each other tightly. Outside, Tommy looked at the scene, pressing his hand up against the glass, his heart aching uncomfortably, not being able to tear his eyes away from the tender moment. He turned to the spirit, emotion, and anger on his face.

“Tubbo exiled me, he burned his compass, he didn’t show up to my beach party, he didn’t even come to see me.” His eyes looked cold. “He’s NOT my best friend, let alone my friend!”

The spirit looked calm. “I see.” He slowly turned and began to walk away into the forest swiftly, leaving Tommy scrambling to catch up.

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“Spirit... Guide... whatever you are, wait up!” Tommy shouted as he sprinted after the figure through the trees, suddenly being caught by his shirt before he fell into the water. He looked around and noticed he was in L’manburg - the moon just how he left it when the spirit took him to the past. He noticed the Chinese lanterns, the dock, the houses - it wasn’t just L’manburg, it was New L’manburg. The spirit walked up the steps silently and Tommy was quick to follow. “We’re in the present, in L’manburg, but why?”

“I thought you’d be curious to see how your former friend is celebrating tonight - a look without the trouble of trying to hide or break the rules.” The spirit said simply, before holding out his hand for Tommy to take. “Hold on tightly, please.” Tommy gripped the spirit’s hand as he was dragged through a few walls, freaking out a bit until he realized that he was in the same state as a ghost, or like the spirit called it, an observer - so he couldn’t suffocate.

Whatever Tommy was expecting, it certainly wasn’t this. A room filled with torn posters of Technoblade pasted along the walls calling him all sorts of bad things, and a wooden table in the center with four people sitting around it, Tubbo among them. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea anymore, Big Q. With what Dream’s done to Tommy, what if he gets caught in all this?”

Quackity looked upset, his eyes narrowed. “Tubbo, this is our one and only chance to get revenge for our country, and you’re saying to stop all of our work for the small chance, chance that Tommy will show up?”

“He’s a L’manburg citizen, Quackity. As president, it’s my job to protect every citizen-”

“You’d sacrifice the country, Mr. President, everything we’ve worked for, for one person?!” Quackity snapped. Tommy looked on with piqued interest, noticing how both Ranboo and Fundy sunk down a bit on their chairs from the building tension in the room. Tubbo got up and leaned in so he and Quackity’s faces were inches apart.

“Yes, I would. I’m not going to be responsible for anyone becoming a ghost on my account, Quackity.” Tubbo snapped. “I draw the line at risking innocent lives.”

Tommy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Even after they yelled at each other, screamed at each other, he... he still... cares?

“I’m questioning your true loyalty to your country, Mr. President - it seems your loyalties lie elsewhere. What kind of President wouldn’t be willing to do anything, make any sacrifice, for the betterment of the country?”

“One like Schlatt. Wilbur maybe. But not me.”

“Then, Mr. President, you’re nothing but a traitor.” Quackity said, pulling out his sword and pointing it at Tubbo. “I’m taking you under arrest.” Tubbo slowly put his hands up, looking over to Fundy and Ranboo, who both looked distraught and stayed silent.

“Quackity, you’re insane. You’re going to destroy L’manburg to kill Techno and Dream, you’re going to destroy everything we’ve worked to save.” Tubbo protested, but his cries fell on deaf ears as Quackity forced him to give him his stuff and armor.

Tommy’s mind whirred. “Tubbo still cares about me. Even after everything, he’s still my friend.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I...I can’t believe it.”

“It’s a shame you don’t think the same of him.”

Tommy was quick to respond. “I do, I have, it’s just he’s done so much against me - he burned the compass, he didn’t show up to the beach party-”

Tommy looked over just in time to see Quackity close the jail cell loudly - there was barely enough room for Tubbo to sit or even stand. Tubbo’s hands clutched the bars. “Quackity, don’t do this. Do you even understand what Dream and Techno are capable of?!”

Quackity glared at him. “Of course I do, which is why I need to dispose of them since our leader is too much of a coward to do it himself. Come on guys, we have a festival to prepare for.” Fundy and Ranboo were silent as they passed him, bowing their heads in shame. Tommy walked closer with the spirit to see him pull out...the compass...

The enchanted compass, the matching one to the one Tommy had in his own chest. The one Dream said he burned. That didn’t make any sense, Dream said he- Dream. “Are you tricking me?”

“Why would I do that, Tommy? We made a deal.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense, Tubbo shouldn’t have the compass, it’s supposed to be burned!”

“Ah. Maybe that was the claim that led you astray?”

Tommy silently looked down at Tubbo as he held the compass in his hands, tears welling up in Tubbo’s eyes. “Guess you were right, Tommy. I’m so sorry…” Tommy had no words, thoughts running through his head. This didn’t make any sense. Dream wouldn’t lie to him, he’s his friend. Even so, emotion welled up in his eyes as his stomach formed in knots.

“Dream wouldn’t lie to me. Stop trying to trick me, I know this isn’t real.”

“But I promised you I’d only show the truth, didn’t I?”

“But this can’t be true - Tubbo’s compass is supposed to be burned, he’s not supposed to cry for me, he's supposed to hate me, they’re all supposed to hate me!”

“What if they don’t, Tommy, and they never have?”

“Even if they didn’t...even if they cared, I’ve caused too much trouble - all of this started because of me. So, wouldn’t it be better if I was gone?” The spirit held out his hand to Tommy.

“Do you want to find out?”

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After a few moments of hesitation, Tommy took the Spirit’s hand, and quickly was dragged upwards through the wall, into darkness, the spirit’s wings taking them up, up, up, and suddenly… he found himself on the ground. Thunder rolled in his ears as a light shower of rain began to fall toward the ground. He was on a mountain, and his hands gripped the soggy grass between his fingers, feeling the realness of it all. He looked around for his winged spirit but found no one. L’manburg stood around him, and he walked down the dock, noticing a crowd of people gathered around a memorial of sorts.

Curious, he crept closer. Who’s memorial was it? It looked nice too - a small stone cover from the rain, vines and flowers growing all around it. He started to worry - did his death cause someone else’s? He looked over at the crowd - he noticed Skeppy holding Bad close as he cried, and there was Puffy and Ant, who looked dazed by it all, their faces solemn. Oh, over there was Quackity - he crossed his arms and looked to the floor. Fundy sat next to George and Sapnap - his eyebrows furrowed in thought. George held Sapnap’s hand in comfort as tears slid down their cheeks every now and then. Punz and Ponk were in the back.. Oh, there was Ranboo!

His half-enderman friend was shaking, as Ghostbur stood at his side and did his best to comfort him, though even Tommy could tell the ghost was more than distraught over it all. Tommy walked closer… wait, was that Technoblade?! What was he doing here…? Isn’t he wanted in L’manburg? Even more surprising, was the tear staining glisten in his eyes - Technoblade was crying. It was an odd sight indeed to see his tough friend weep, but Philza was at his side to pull him close, tears rolling down his cheeks as well.

“He was a hero for L’manburg, and made numerous sacrifices for our country. More than that, he was an uncle, a son, a brother, and a friend to many who knew him.” There was Tubbo, speaking at the podium looking the saddest Tommy had ever seen him. His hands gripped the wood tightly as he shook slightly. “Though he was not with us for long, I think it’s clear to see when I look around this room he touched more lives than he knew. He was brave, strong, and an inspiration to many as someone who encompassed the true values of our nation.. He may be gone, but will always live on in our memories and in our hearts.”

Tommy’s heart dropped as he read the sign: ‘Tommyinnit, joined July 2020, died December 2020. A friend taken too soon.’ This was his memorial, all of them were here… this was HIS funeral! He noticed how Tubbo’s shaking grew more noticable as tears streamed from his eyes that left drops where his speech was prepared. Philza walked up and they both hugged each other tightly, Phil rubbing his back as Tubbo let out a sob and the two walked back to sit with the rest.

Slowly, one by one people began to walk up to a buried spot on the ground - his green bandana was tied tightly to the side as it waved in the wind like a flag. He watched as Ghostbur walked up and left some blue flowers at his grave. “I hope you’re happier, wherever you are. Here’s some blue - I got extra so you won’t run out.” Tommy’s eyes threatened to spill with tears as Ghostbur put a hand on his gravestone. “Both Alivebur and I love you very much, and we’ll miss you a lot, but don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine! I’ll try to take care of Tubbo for you, okay?”

“Okay..” Tommy choked out as a tear slid down his cheek. Ranboo walked up to sit next to Ghostbur, silent. Ghostbur gave him a hug, which he returned before Ghostbur left, walking back into the crowd of people talking.

“I really should have noticed it sooner, shouldn’t I?” Ranboo said. “I should’ve been there more, did more, did anything… but I… I’m so sorry, Tommy.” His hands were shaking as they reached out toward the gravestone but stopped short of touching it. “You did so much for me, you protected me, and I… I couldn’t even do the same for you. I’m a pretty bad friend, aren’t I?”

“No, no.” Though Ranboo couldn’t hear him or see him, Tommy put his hand on Ranboo’s shoulder as he tried his best not to try, sniffling. “You were the best friend I could ever ask for. You were there for me whenever I needed you. This isn’t your fault.”

Both heard steps behind them and turned to notice Techoblade standing there, no clear emotion in his face. Ranboo quickly left, intimidated by the pig hybrid as he disappeared back into the crowd. Technoblade took his crown off as he approached, kneeling in front of the gravestone, silent for a few moments. “I wish we were closer. I wish I would’ve been there to help you before it was too late. I… I wish you knew how much I loved you, but I guess we’re both too similar when it comes to admitting something like that, huh?” Technoblade smiled a bit before it quickly fell. “I know I didn’t agree with your choices, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t help you, I should’ve let you know that.” Tommy stood, stunned at Technoblade’s words - that he loved him, that he’d miss him. Techno pulled out a folded cloth. “I was going to give you it for Christmas, but Dream had other plans. I’m sorry, it’s the only present I saved from the lava.” Technoblade set it down next to the flowers. “It’s a cape like mine, see? Wilbur kept telling me how cold you were in exile. Partly it was because of that, the other part was because I was too annoyed when you kept trying to steal mine-” Technoblade sniffled, a few tears going down his cheeks that landed in the dirt below. Philza walked up and gave him a tight hug.

“Shh, Techno. It’s okay. I know he would’ve loved it.” Philza said, comforting his eldest. “Now go talk to Ghostbur and make sure he doesn’t wander off with Friend.” Techno just nodded, taking one last look at the grave and placing his hand on the stone, turning and walking off.

Philza was by far the quietest one of all, running his fingers over the soft green bandana and the top of the gravestone. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks as he took out a small photo in his pocket. It was an old Christmas photo from so long ago - Technoblade had Tommy up on his shoulders, Wilbur was standing at attention in a salute, holding back a laugh as Tubbo chased his scarf, Philza taking a sort of selfie with the camera, the chaos showing in the background. He wedged it in Technoblade’s cloak. “Here, don’t forget us - the good parts of us.” Philza said softly. “Don’t forget that we’ll always love you, no matter what.” Philza wiped away a few tears from his eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll ever know why you did this, and I don’t think I’ll ever really know. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good father to you, and I hope you’re at peace wherever you are.” Philza took a deep breath getting ready to leave when a loud crash interrupted him.

Tommy, still trying to compose himself and wipe away his tears from his family and friend’s sentiments, looked up in surprise to see Tubbo pissed off, being held back by Technoblade and Puffy, Ghostbur trying to calm him down. Dream got up from his place on the ground, a large crack forming on his white mask. Tubbo yelled, shouted and kicked. “He doesn’t GET to be here, he’s lucky I don’t kill him right now! He’s the one who killed him, he doesn’t get to go near him again!”

Ghostbur looked nervous when Tubbo smacked the blue he offered out of his hand. “Tubbo calm yourself, please, for Tommy-!”

“I didn’t push him off that tower, did I, Tubbo?” Dream’s words were sharp and calm, traced with anger. Everyone fell silent, as Dream approached the President. “I didn’t do anything, if anything, he died because of all of you - you could have stopped me, you could have visited, and you did nothing-”

Without hesitation, Tubbo decked him across the face, his mask flying toward the ground, and suddenly blonde messy hair and piercing green eyes started down at him. “You told him lies, you manipulated him, you made him think he was alone. We may have not done much, even if we knew what you were doing, but at least we didn’t drive him into that depression, Dream. That’s all on you, and you fucking know it.” Tubbo pointed a finger at his chest. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here after everything you did to him. I don’t want you here and I know that he sure as well wouldn’t either.” Tubbo’s eyes narrowed. “So you either leave or we’re settling this right here, right now.”

“Are you threatening me, Mr. President?” Dream smirked. “Not a very wise decision - I’ve beaten you before, I’ve taken everything away from you and watched you beg for mercy.”

“That’s what you don’t understand, Dream.” Tubbo said. “You’ve taken so much away from me I have nothing left to lose.” Dream pulled out his sword but a heavy smack from Tubbo sent it to the floor. “You underestimate just how far I’m willing to go, Dream. You think you’ve seen me upset, seen me angry? You haven’t seen even a fraction of it. I will stop at nothing for Tommy - I don’t even care if you kill me, all I care about is that you’re going down with me.” For the first time in his life, fear flew across Dream’s face.

“Tubbo. Leave Dream alone, he’s not worth it.” Philza said as he turned Tubbo away from Dream and glared down at him. “Just get out of here, Dream.”

“Tubbo never really was the same again after you left.” The guiding spirit turned Tommy’s attention to the side, where he sat at the top of the dome memorial. “You mean a lot to him, and losing you after L’manburg fell to Dream, it was the last straw.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Dream owns L’manburg?! That’s impossible, Tubbo would never allow that to happen.”

“He didn’t.” The spirit replied. “Quackity led the charge against Dream and failed, nearly destroying the nation again before legally surrendering it to Dream. Ranboo was going to let Tubbo out of his cell to help, but when he didn’t hear from you he decided to check on you instead and found your body. As always, Dream traded Quackity L’manburg for something he wanted more than anything - the power to revive Schlatt.”

“Revive Schlatt?!” Tommy’s eyes widened. “Dream knew how to do it all along. So why didn’t he revive Wilbur…?”

“It wasn’t of use to him.” The spirit said. “When you died, L’manburg died with you. Philza fell into a deep depression after losing two of his sons to his own hands, and Technoblade… he went mad.”

“Technoblade went crazy…?!”

The spirit pointed around the corner as they jumped once again, landing on the dock as screams of agony echoed throughout the country. Tommy looked around in disbelief as red blood splattered the ground. He noticed Niki run past him toward the bridge, terrified. A dark shadow passed overhead and Technoblade landed in front of her with a wide smile and crazy eyes. “Where are you going, Niki…?”

“N-nowhere, I was just going to go fishing…”

“Really…? If I knew any better, I would have thought you were trying to leave.” Techno’s eyes narrowed. “You know how Dream feels about people breaking his rules.”

“Technoblade, I’m sorry, please… I promise, I won’t come near the docks ever again-!” Niki pleaded as Techno’s laugh echoed through the walls, turning into… crying? Technoblade sobbed as he leaned on his trident as a sort of staff. Niki approached, sympathetic.

“I want him back, Niki. I just want him back.” Technoblade said. “I’d do anything for him, any goddamn thing…” The crying stopped as Techno looked up, eyes full of anger. “Even if that means ripping the guts out of some lying two-faced bitch who didn’t care enough to save him. Come here you little-!” He charged at Niki, and she took off again, screaming, crying for help.

“N-no… Technoblade stop-!” Tommy cried, but Techno didn’t hear him as he snatched her up and beheaded her in one rip, sending blood everywhere. Niki’s painful screams filled his ears.

“Tubbo managed to take Dream down, and they both died in one of his death traps. Now, thanks to his manipulation, Technoblade is a bloodthirsty warrior with no master to serve. He clings to the bit of sanity he has left, not being able to deal with the guilt of being responsible for your death, so he blames others.”

“This can’t be true. Surely if I died some good would come from it.” Tommy said.

“The only good that would come of your death would be Dream’s, who thanks to Tubbo died much earlier than he was supposed to, and in turn saved his people from another tyrannical ruler.” The spirit said. “As for Ghostbur, well…”

Tommy turned around to notice Ghostbur flying around, wondering in the bloody mess of L’manburg that was too eerily quiet for Tommy’s liking. The spirit was gone again, Tommy was alone. He followed Ghostbur as he stepped over dead bodies and looked inside houses. “Hey Technoblade?” Ghostbur called, looking around. “Hey Techno, I have a fun idea to prank Tubbo with, where are you?” He opened the door to Philza’s house. “Philza? Philza Minecraft?!” He called. “I can’t find Techno, do you know where he… oh, you’re not here either.” He knocked, door to door, calling out for everyone, but it was dead silent. “Quackity?! Niki…? Fundy, where are you?!”

Tommy reached to grab Ghostbur’s hand. “They’re not here, Wil. They’re dead.” But Ghostbur didn’t notice him in the slightest.

“Tubbo?! Fundy…?”

“Ghostbur, they’re dead. You gotta stop, they’re not here.” Tommy said solemnly. “They’re dead because of me, but you gotta stop looking, they’re gone-”

“Sapnap? Bad…?”

“Wilbur please.” Tommy begged. “They’re dead, you have to move on.”

“George…?”

“They’re dead, WIlbur.” Tommy snapped, beginning to cry. He looked around for his spirit friend. “Spirit, can you hear me? I want to go back, please let me go back. I don’t want this to happen, please! Can I change it? Is there still time?! I want to live!”

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When he opened his eyes, he was in his bed in the tent, the morning sun just peaking above the horizon. He wiped a few tears off his cheeks. Was it all a dream… was it not real…? He scrambled for his calendar - Christmas Day. There’s still time. He could fix everything! He searched in his chest for the compass and his discs as he packed a bag - he looked over the mask for a second, before rushing outside and in a fit of rage, frisbees it into the ocean and watched it sink to the bottom. “Fuck you, Dream.” He cursed, feeling freer than he had in weeks.

He grabbed his bag and ran off into the forest toward the snow covered house he knew, picking up some blue cornflowers along the way. His heart felt light as he hummed Christmas carols, running along the path he knew until he saw Technoblade’s house in the distance. Running up to the door, he knocked, smiling. The house was decorated beautifully, and when Ghostbur opened the door he smiled. “Hello, Tommy!”

“Hey Ghostbur!” Tommy smiled. “Sorry it’s a bit early, but I just couldn’t wait to come over and say Merry Christmas!” Technoblade came over to the door, looking extremely confused.

“Tommy…?” Technoblade yawned before Tommy crashed into him with a hug, only making the older increasingly confused. “Um-”

“Merry Christmas, Technobade.” Tommy said happily, handing out the blue flowers to Ghostbur, his eyes lighting up as he smiled. “This is for you.”

“So much blue!” Ghostbur shook with excitement, taking the flowers in his hands. “They’re so pretty, thanks Tommy!”

“You’re welcome.” Tommy said, feeling a sense of dejia vu from it all. Technoblade smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Wanna come inside? I was just about to make breakfast.” Technoblade’s voice was gentle, and for the first time in a long while Tommy felt really happy. Techno ushered him inside by the fire, insisting that he was turning blue out in the snow without a jacket. Ghostbur realized too quickly that Techno didn’t have a vase for the flowers, but with a bit of help from Tommy, he was beginning to weave a flower crown. It was nice to revisit that - he remembered how Philza taught them all how to weave flowercrowns when they were younger, and how to make an acorn whistle, which he quickly regretted. Tommy laughed as he remembered Phil’s face as all three of them whistled all the way home so loud they scared away any animals within a 100 mile radius, for sure.

Techboblade was quiet but content, relaxed, and happy. After a nice breakfast of eggs and toast - the first good breakfast Tommy had in ages, which he finished in record time - Wilbur stood under the tree to open gifts excitedly like he was a child again. As they all settled in, a quick knock on Technoblade’s door interrupted them. “Hello- Oh… hey Phil.”

To his surprise, Tommy and Wilbur couldn’t see their dad at all behind the large pile of wrapped boxes in his hands. His breaths were labored as he spoke. “I hope I’m not late-”

“No, no. In fact, you’re just on time.”

“I was looking for Tommy’s house everywhere and then I realized I went the wrong way, and then he wasn’t there-” Philza began, walking in as he noticed Tommy sitting on the floor. “Well, there you are.”

“Here I am.” Tommy said with a sheepish smile. “Do you need help with that?”

“Please.”

After all of Phil’s gifts were added to the growing collection under the tree, his father pulled Tommy in for a quick hug. “I’m glad you’re here. Christmas wouldn’t be the same with you, you know.”

“I’m glad you didn’t forget me.” Tommy admitted softly, and Phil squeezed around his middle a little tighter.

“Never.” Philza whispered in response, making the younger tear up a bit at the words in joy. When they both pulled away Tommy wiped his eyes, not being able to help his bright smile. “Alright, we’ve got some presents to open, don’t we?”

“We may have to do mine first, I didn't have much time to wrap-” Tommy said as he grabbed his bag and searched. Wilbur proudly showed off his Blue flower crown with glee, making the other two smile at his child-like cheer. Technoblade stilled as Tommy held out a diamond for him. “I’m sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry, I know you have netherite, if you don’t want it-”

“I love it, Tommy.” Technoblade said as he took the diamond and held it in his hands. “It means a lot to me you’d give me it. Thank you.” The two shared a smile before Techno’s face turned into a smirk. “Plus, you’re poor, it was the best you could do, anyway-”

And, as Philza admired and thanked Tommy for the stone sword, Tommy couldn’t help but notice a figure in the window, a figure he thought he’d never see again. His Guardian Spirit, looking inside from the window at the scene with a warm smile. As the spirit looked inside the joyful house, Tommy could distinctly recall a voice in his head echoing words that he’d never forget.

“It’s a wonderful life, isn’t it Tommy?”

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andersoncharm · 3 years

Text

Long Live All The Magic We Made- Saturday, March 26, 2022

Para: Long Live All The Magic We Made

Rating: PG.

Pairing: Seblaine. Hunter/Antoinette (OC)

Blaine: @andersoncharm

Sebastian: @smythesm

When: (Four month time skip.) Saturday, March 26, 2022 *Seb is now 27, and Blaine is 25.

Location: Boston, Massachusetts

Notes: Hunter and Tony share some big news with Sebastian and Blaine before asking them something life changing.

Warnings: This RP in general includes; Mentions of death/Parental Death (Blaine’s Mom), Mentions of toxic past relationships. Mentions of brief past Klaine. Depression. Anxiety.

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Para Title Taken From: Taylor Swift- Long Live

Extra Information: This took far too long to post, we apologize! There will be FOUR POV’s in this Para. We’ve done our best to make it as easy to read as possible.

We will be doing a series of little mini’s to progress over the next few years of this RP. Things might get a little confusing but we promise to date them accordingly.

Under cut for length. Work is mostly unedited as usual.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s heart was full and thumped happily in his chest as he poured out four glasses of cabernet sauvignon and giggled with a smiling Tony. He listened to the sounds of his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s best friend Hunter carrying on out in the courtyard. Their new home felt awake and alive tonight after a dinner that Blaine had planned out perfectly, only the second one in their home. Sebastian had done his best to help, but mostly stuck to meticulously clearing and organizing which was saying something as they’d only lived here for a few months now. Neither Tony or Blaine knew what their boyfriends were doing in there, only that they kept hearing random slaps on skin and loud oofs followed by faux annoyance in both of their voices only to be soothed by tipsy laughter.

The night had gone on perfectly- they’d had dinner out in the courtyard, the spring air was a bit chilly but they were warmed by the cute little firepit Blaine had put in. And since he was with company that knew what he was, Blaine had offered some magic and the whole area had been pleasantly buzzing with his heated energy all night long. Enjolras loved getting to run around wildly with Freya, who still insisted she didn’t run around. But, Blaine had caught her multiple times tonight and promised her he wouldn’t tease her too much. Besides, Ras loved it when she played with him, he’d hate for her to stop. The thought was almost laughable to him as soon as he thought it-Freya would let Blaine dress her up in cat clothing if she thought it would please the golden pup, she loved him that much. He could feel the two of them still running around out there in the glow of the firelight just outside the kitchen door.

He was happy, very much so, but this little ache like a bruise pressed over his heart. Don’t get him wrong, he loved having Hunter and Tony around- Hunter was Seb’s best friend and had done so much for both of them. And Tony, well she was pretty much Blaine’s little sister at this point. They shared a bond, a different kind of fate that few others could touch. Still, he wished he could invite David and Nick, and of course his father, but he knew he had to keep his friends at arms length to save face, and he had to keep his dad even further away. He tried to picture Sam in the room with all of them, and knew instantly that his best friend would probably fit right in, despite not being able to know the truth of it all. Tony would laugh at Sam’s jokes and Hunter would do the same and then quiz him about Japan. Too bad he was still over there, living his dream with his adorable girlfriend.

And then there was his mom. All of these years and her absence still felt like a sucker punch to the chest when he thought about it. He pressed his hand over his heart just at the spot where her crystal used to rest and wondered how long she’d let Seb wear it. He could tell it was getting antsy to come back every single time he touched his boyfriend. But, he still wasn’t ready. He’d give almost anything to have all of them here so he could show them how far he’d come and good things had turned out. He wanted to show off his beautiful home and his gorgeous person, not to boast but to say hey, I made it even when I didn’t think I would… Missing those few people was the only thing keeping Blaine from feeling the happiest he’d ever felt. And even with them not being there, he was pretty damn happy.

He sighed and dropped his hand before turning to Tony- her large grey eyes now studying him curiously and he knew she knew he was silently working through something. He gave her a big, genuine smile and shrugged.

“Everything’s okay, Tony. I promise.” He pushed the try full of drinks towards her and scooped up the decadent round dark chocolate mousse cake he’d made from scratch yesterday. He noted that a few raspberries were missing from the top and wondered which one of them had stolen them, Hunter or Sebastian. He knew it was probably Sebastian- it was like his boyfriend felt compelled to steal food from desserts or salads that would taste just the same out of the package. He smiled to himself as he nodded towards the door, imagining Seb sneaking into the kitchen last night and opting to steal two raspberries from the cake instead of the fridge. He’d probably give Blaine some excuse about wanting the chocolate on it. Tony caught his smile and shook her head.

“You’ve gone from happy to a little melancholy and now back to happy again in the span of three seconds, , you’re going through it tonight, aren’t you, babe? Something you want to talk about? We’ve got a little time before they get too stupid.” She laughed and nudged him before getting a sparkling water from the fridge for herself. “I don’t want to get too tipsy, you know, we are staying here as guests and someone’s gotta keep Hunter in line. I can see it now, he’ll end up dragging the two of us to your bed because his drunken mind thinks that’s a normal thing to do when you’re staying at your best friend's house.” She teased, but Blaine hadn’t witnessed her drink much of anything with alcohol tonight, let alone get any kind of tipsy. She’d been sipping on water most of the time. Her energy felt high and positive, she was happy. So he didn’t think too much of it. But, she was right, Hunter probably would find a way to implant himself into his and Sebastian’s bed and drag Tony with him. All six of them, Freya and Ras included, just snuggled up. As if on cue, Hunter’s crackle of delight soared from outside and through the kitchen.

“I’m really okay, just thinking about things I can’t really change. I am happy though, you’ve got it right. And Gods, you’re probably right about Hunter. I mean, as comfortable as that sounds… he has a whole room here that he can roll all over to his heart's content.” He nodded towards the door. “What are they even doing out there? We should probably go feed them some more before someone gets hurt.”

She laughed, knowing he was right and nodded, still looking a little skeptical over his answer, but she sat her water down on the drink try and walked with him out into the magically warm March air and Blaine followed. Both men looked up at them, the echo of a laugh still hanging in the air. Blaine made his way towards Seb, sat the cake down on the table and snuggled into his boyfriend's side.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing out here? Also, did you steal my raspberries, Sebastian? You messed up my aesthetic.” He teased, pressing his lips into Seb’s jaw and nuzzling into his neck. He could hear Hunter’s childish, teasing ewwws and he looked over at his friend, who was just as snuggled up with his girlfriend, with wide eyes.

“Keep it up, Clarington and I won’t give you any cake.” To which Hunter followed up with a scandalized and very dramatic face of woe even as Blaine moved forward to cut each one of them a slice.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian thought that he would hate having company over at the new house. After a successful holiday season with a visit to Ohio where he realized he missed his mother, Wick, and Luke more than he thought he did and a few small gatherings he decided he didn’t mind it. He was actually excited to have little parties here and there and he knew how happy it made Blaine to prepare artistic charcuterie boards and bake mini desserts.

When Tony and Hunter came over, things always felt natural. Ever since everything had calmed down after the trial, things with his best friend felt normal again. Sometimes when they were joking around over beers (and a cigarette for Sebastian) he’d forget that Hunter actually was a hunter of supernatural beings. He liked how easy and connected B and Tony seemed and that things just finally seemed settled into place as much as they could be when you were implanted into a magical world.

The two of them had been roasting each other and laughing in the courtyard. Normally Seb wouldn’t choose to sit out in the chill but B had extended his magical warmth throughout the area. Sebastian had hit his tipsy best friend in the arm a little too hard and he fell out of his chair a little bit and spilled some of his drink and the ground. They burst into laughter because well, there was just no reason that Seb should have been able to get one over on somebody trained in combat. Hunter made a sly comment about how he had a soft spot for him and that was the only reason it had happened.

Tony and Blaine had made their way into the courtyard with more drinks and cake and had snuggled up to their significant others.

“Hunter was just flirting with me. You should like, zap him or something.” He waved his hand in the air like little volts were shooting from his fingertips. “I might have snuck a few, they taste better with the chocolate.” He liked how Blaine’s lips felt on his jaw, a tingle slid its way up his spine.

Hunter’s POV:

Hunter’s skin felt electric with excitement. They were all gathered around the small fire pit, the air comfortably warm with Blaine’s magic. He felt giddy from the wine, Bas’ laugh, and Tony’s glow. Her soft body pressed into his side, his arm wrapped around her. Everything felt right and he knew that tonight was the perfect night.

Hunter leaned forward and plucked a raspberry from Sebastian’s perfect slice of cake and popped it into his mouth.

“You’re a tattletale. You know I could stop him, right?”

Tony’s elbow gently poked his side, “You could try. I think I’d let him give you a good zap.”

Blaine smiled and Sebastian took a smug bite of cake and Tony giggled into her sparkling water. He couldn’t help but smile, couldn’t even joke about his feelings being hurt. Things may not be lining up how he had always pictured them but he felt satisfied and truly happy. He and his best friend were in love with two amazing people and their friendship had remained just as strong. Their lives were all changing for the better.

Blaine gave in and slid him a small plate with a decadent slice on it. Tony stole his raspberry which he knew he deserved. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” She kissed him and he could taste the slightest hint of berries on her lips.

After everyone’s bellies were full and their drinks were refilled the night fell into a comfortable silence. Hunter could hear dove’s somewhere in the courtyard, Tony’s breathing, and the traffic on the streets. He gently nudged Tony and they held eye contact for a few minutes, she knew what he was thinking.

Antoinette’s (Tony) POV:

Tony glanced around the courtyard, feeling full of happiness and hope she hadn’t felt in a very long time. For the first time since she’d been cursed with sickness as a child, she felt like things were actually going to be okay. She was a full-time, certified member of the Order now, she was able to freely train and got to work with the love of her life every single day. Hunter always had her back and she always had his. She got to spend time with Blaine, someone that understood her more than almost anyone else in the world, someone she had bonded with as soon as they met, by extension of both Hunter and Blaine she was able to spend time with Sebastian. A person who made both of her boys incredibly happy and therefore made her happy. She had secretly started calling the three of them her boys in her head and she wondered as he laid her hand on her stomach if she’d be adding another one into the mix soon.

“Something does tell me that Blaine might have a leg up here though, it is his house after all. I mean, we’re actually sitting in a swarm of his magic right now.” She looked over at Blaine and grinned with a shrug while blatantly betraying her own boyfriend. She’d figure out a way to make it up to him later. She secretly sometimes wondered what hidden potential her friend had hidden away. She’d met both his mother and father and they’d both done incredible things and it made her wonder what secrets or untapped power Blaine Anderson might be carrying around. She also sort of hoped that maybe they never found out.

Good Witches tended to only pull out the crazy magic when things were about to go incredibly bad. Imelda when saving her, and well, Will was on the Council, he got to do bigger magic every day. She knew Blaine was close to cashing in his good card and possibly doing something drastic during his trials, but they’d all pulled through and he didn’t have to. She supposed that was for the best, they were all here now and happy and well, she’d take that over getting an answer to her curiosities any day.

She couldn't help the little smile that played on her lips as they finished their food and drinks and when Hunter snuggled in a little closer and dipped down to get her to look at him, she knew it was time to let them in on the reason they’d wanted to come this weekend in the first place. Her heart gave a little flutter and she cleared her throat as she looked up at Blaine and Sebastian. They had three full things to tell them. The first one was the easy part, the other two were a little harder.

“I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I’ve not exactly been indulging in the spirits with you.” She laughed a little and settled her hand over her mostly flat belly again. The very tiniest swell was there and you had to know she was carrying in order to tell at all. Hunter insisted he could tell when he laid his head on her stomach at night, but she could hardly tell herself. She was only thirteen weeks along as of three days ago. She thought it was cute though so she let him coo at her. “That’s because well, we’re having a baby.” She grinned, enjoying the changes in the faces of the two men sitting across from her. From surprise, to happiness, to what might have been sadness- she felt that one... and back to happiness before crossing over into what could be described as elation. “We’re due at the end of September, early October.” She held her hand to keep them from advancing on her just yet. She had more to say and number two was the the second hardest-

“Before you get too ahead of me, we have a couple more things to ask…” She paused, she knew that Blaine and Sebastian had been through hell and that they had made many sacrifices to be together, including finding out that they’d never get to be parents together, so she didn’t want to fuck this bit up. She reached over and took Hunter’s hand for comfort and then looked from Sebastian, who was holding sweetly onto his boyfriend and giving Hunter a sort of amazed look- to Blaine and settled on his kind, eager, wide golden eyes. Eyes that reminded her so much of his mom, now that her memories of the wonderful woman had been restored.

“We- both Hunter and I, were wondering if, no matter what we have, if you, Blaine, would give us the honor of naming them Mel.”

She waited, watching Blaine carefully. How he took this question would help decide if the last big thing they wanted to ask them was plausible. If Blaine reacted negatively maybe they shouldn’t be asking such big things in the first place, but if he accepted then they had the biggest, possibly life changing question to ask the two of them. She was nervous as she watched him process with Sebastian’s help.

Blaine’s POV:

There were doves again. They cooing and twittering all over the courtyard. Little flits of pale pink and grey and white here and there, making for a lovely show… Blaine didn’t always notice them right away, but when he did they always seemed to make a big show by spreading their pretty wings and flocking around Sebastian in particular. As if showing him off- Like hey, look over here, this one’s ours. As if Blaine didn’t know all about Aphrodite's advanced role in their Fate’s intertwining. They had an actual altar to her in their bedroom. It still left him beside himself whenever he woke up, or came home to find decadent dark chocolates or expensive flowers or deep red wine left as an offering to her. If it had always been him doing it, that would have been one thing, but these things came from Sebastian and that in and of itself was baffling. He figured his logical, lawyer boyfriend would drop a chocolate kiss or a petal here and there, but most of the time Blaine found incredibly nice things for the goddess of love and beauty. Sebastian seemed to take her presence as seriously as he did. Maybe the presence of the doves was a gift for them. A constant sweet soundtrack to everyday life inside (and outside) of the Smythe-Anderson home.

The doves seemed to coo even more sweetly as Tony revealed her and Hunter’s amazing news. So sweetly in fact that Blaine almost missed it for grinning up at the fluttering birds. His head snapped back down as he caught the words due at the end of September, early October… He wanted to do three things all at once. First he wanted to flock to Tony like the doves seemed to love doing to Seb, and wrap her up to congratulate her, but something her in demeanor said to sit back for a second, then he wanted to go to Hunter and do the same, but again, they both seemed to be telling them that wait, there’s more. The third bit was that he wanted to cry a little, a happy one, mind you. Because maybe there was hope for a child to be in their lives somewhat now. One that maybe they could become friends with and when Hunter and Tony visited every few months they’d maybe prefer hanging out with him and Seb. Maybe they’d get cute nicknames one day. Maybe.

He was still processing the information and the excitement when Tony asked her next question. The name was pretty and gender-neutral. He liked it as soon as she said it. He had a familiarity with it that he couldn't place his finger on. Yet, he had no clue why they seemed to be asking for his permission to use it. How could he give them honor over a name?

Seb was mumbling his name in question. He looked at him wondering why his boyfriend was holding onto him and rubbing his back so comfortingly, like he’d been told something sad. Or why Hunter and Tony were looking at him with wide, waiting eyes, looking and exuding the feeling of nervousness. Why was the focus on him? Shouldn’t it be on Tony and Hunter? He looked over at Seb a little confused. His boyfriend cocked his head to the side, not understanding his reaction, gave his hand a comforting squeeze and it wasn’t until Blaine tried saying the name out loud to Seb to question it that he understood.

“Mel? Oh...”

He swallowed hard and blinked once and then twice as everything seemed to fall into place for him. Imelda. Mel… They wanted to name their baby after his mom. The two of them knew that he and Seb wouldn't be able to, so they were asking to do it for them. His heart felt full and sad and he sniffled, blinking back tears as he spoke. His voice a little thick.

“Oh, I would love that, guys. I truly would.” He bit his lip and leaned into Sebastian, feeling shy and overexposed all of the sudden. “She would love that…” He hid his face in Seb’s neck for a moment to collect himself, and smiled as Seb pressed a kiss to his forehead, gaining comfort from his soulmate and grounding himself. He pulled back to rejoin the group just in time for Hunter to clear his throat as if he had something more to say. Blaine could feel this was a big one...

Hunter’s POV:

Hunter wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulders and pulled her in even closer. He was delighted by Sebastian’s surprised face, his mouth agape for about 3 solid seconds before he mouthed ‘you motherfucker!’ It made him laugh with how simply Bas the reaction was and then there was Blaine, all wide eyed and shy. Hunter was thankful that Blaine had reacted positively to their request. If it weren’t for Imelda’s selflessness and power, none of this would have happened.

“Thank you, Blaine. It means a lot to us,” Tony nodded in agreement.

“We do have one more question.” Hunter shifted in his seat a little bit. This part was big and his stomach felt acidic with nerves. Before all this, he had thought that he and Sebastian had seen it all together. Asking his best friend this next question felt heavy and scarier than any mission he’d ever go on.

“Would you two do us the honor of being the baby’s guardians? Like god parents, only way more. You know, like...on paper. Would you be willing to take care of them while we’re on missions and such? To bring them into your home? Take them in...if...a mission went south.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, ‘in case we die.’ when everything felt new and positive, even if they both knew their field was extremely dangerous.

“Well, don’t keep us waiting fellas.”

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian smiled and watched his boyfriend’s face closely. It would have been comical how long it took for the name’s significance to settle into his brain but the entire interaction was just, well, wholesome. He pressed a kiss to Blaine’s forehead and waited for him to peek out again. The gesture of choosing the name Mel was very sweet, even an old cynic like Seb could admit that.

The change in Hunter’s tone made his ears prick up. He knew him like his favorite TV show, comforting and reliable for background noise that made his pre B world feel a little less empty. Whenever the other man got serious on him it made Sebastian feel a bit on edge. Not because he was afraid to see Hunter serious, just because he never really knew what to expect and that made his organized microcosm feel a little bit wobbly.

The question that had been asked was not one he had been expecting. He didn’t even think that this was a topic that either one of them, Hunter or Sebastian, had ever talked about. Seb blinked a few times and felt his Blaine shift next to him. He had always thought that he was bad with kids, that he didn’t like them all that much. But, getting to know his little cousin Luke had changed his mind and he really loved to see the light in B’s eyes when they played their games of make believe. There was a warmth that spread through his body, something protective. None of this was ever in the plans they had made over midnights and pizzas and the bellyache of laughter. This was big and special and the most important thing Hunter had ever asked him to do. Especially now that he and Blaine had had their opportunity ripped away...

“I...do we need to think about this or…?” He pulled away a bit to look down at his boyfriend. “ I know that I...would really love to do that.”

Sebastian knew that Blaine felt the same way as he did.

Blaine’s POV:

Once again Blaine was a bit slow on the uptake, he was having a bit of a hard time processing what was being asked of them. Not because he didn’t want it, but because it was more than he thought they’d ever get. His heart thudded in his chest as he looked up at Sebastian, hardly allowing himself to believe what he was hearing. The moment passed and his face broke out into a smile as he pulled Seb closer, squeezing him to show him that no, they didn’t need to think about this. It was truly a no brainer. He turned his attention over to Hunter and Tony and gave them an even bigger smile.

“No, no we don’t need to think about it. I’m with Seb without a doubt… I’d love that more than anything.” He laughed a little, his eyes still bright with tears. Of course he knew accepting came at a price, it put the very real threat that one or both of them might die in the field. They were hunters that worked for the Order in very real dangerous situations. And chances of them dying together were much larger considering they worked right next to each other. It made him, and no doubt Sebastian, look that ugly truth right in the face. “I’m gonna have to double down on protection spells and maybe even make you a few charms because there is no way you’re not going to be around to see this baby grow up.” He made mental notes of the charms and ingredients he’d need for their protection even as he spoke. His brain seemed to be in overdrive as a new person to care about was just on the horizon. He wanted to protect them with his magic and his own self and he didn’t even know them yet. “Tony, how do you feel about letting me make you a little something even more extra while you’re pregnant? And, before you ask, I planned on asking if I could do that before you asked us to assist in the life of your child.”

The four of them sat and talked for a couple more hours, mostly about the baby and what steps they needed to take for their wishes to come to term, but they slipped a few other things in here and there. There were plenty of laughs, Hunter convinced Seb to take a few shots with him for old times sake and even convinced Blaine to take a couple- one for him and one for Tony since she couldn’t, and he obliged.

Blaine had a few moments of panic where he thought maybe he wasn’t cut out for this task that was being asked of him, but he’d look over at Tony and see his mother, just a little bit, and how light Hunter seemed to be right now, and then at his boyfriend, his soulmate, his person and it would all slip away… Seb looked happy and hopeful and he held Blaine close the whole time they sat and talked and drank. It was hard to feel anything other than good when Sebastian looked like that.

Eventually Seb started to yawn and even suggested that Blaine use magic to clean up their messes, which was wild to him considering Sebastian usually liked for him to keep magic more simple. Even after all these years, Seb still would stare in awe and wonder and a little bit of warrant fear over some of the magical tasks that Blaine could perform. And magically cleaning a whole house in one go would do that trick. Seb wasn’t afraid of Blaine, but magic was wild and even though Blaine was a very practiced Witch, he knew seeing something like that to a logical mind like Seb’s was a bit overwhelming. So he said goodnight to Hunter and Tony who were sleeping in the guest room and sent Seb to get ready for bed before doing his fancy bit of cleaning magic. Within minutes the courtyard and kitchen were both spotless and Blaine had rounded up Freya and Enjolras and locked the doors, and renewed his protective spells around the perimeters of the new house. His cat familiar and his not so little pup followed him up the stairs and they were both asleep at the foot of the huge bed before he could change into his pajamas. He was still buzzing with excitement as he snuggled in next to Sebastian whose energy was just as excited, if not drowsy with drink. He might just be making mild hangover cures for Sebastian and Hunter the next day.

“It looks like we found a bit of a loophole, didn’t we?” He laughed gently and pulled his drowsy boyfriend into his arms. “I mean, they said neither one of us could father children or adopt. They never said anything about being partial guardians. And they’ll be the child of two hunters, that just means they’ll get to know the truth about Witches and magic and what their parents do when they’re young, we won’t have anything to hide from them.” He paused, watching Seb’s face in the dim light. “I know it’s not what we may have eventually wanted, but I think it worked out for us. We get to be there for them. They have a safe space for their kid and we get to be important to someone. I’m really happy. Plus, you’re a lawyer, so if the Council tries to stop us from helping Hunter and Tony, you can help fight it.”

Seb snuggled into him and reassured him that he was just as happy, his words and little kisses tipsy against Blaine’s jaw. Blaine could have talked about the kid and their future forever, but he was much more sober since he was mostly made of magic and stardust, sort of, and he knew Seb would too under normal circumstances. But his boyfriend was overly happy and drunk and sleep would bring morning and morning would bring the excitement of Blaine getting to tell Sebastian of the ideas he had for the third bedroom. Hunter and Tony were gone a lot on missions, sometimes it added up to about five months out of a year. And then they only got a year and a half off after the baby was born and then it was back to the grind and of course they’d be bringing the baby over before that year was up so they could bond, so naturally the baby needed a bedroom!

He looked down at Sebastian and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, smiling when Seb mumbled his love. Blaine kissed him back and loved him just as much before settling down with the comforting weight of Seb on his chest. An array of ideas and elation for his friends and for them as he slipped into slumber.

/fin.

#andersoncharm #smythesm #orderofhunter #seblaine witch rp #seblaine #long live all the magic #sebpara #para

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honey-dewey · 3 years

Text

Random Dewey Finn headcanons (?) I came up with while eating my breakfast

Before Dewey wanted to be a big rock star, he wanted to be an astronaut.

His aunt gave him his first guitar for his 10th birthday, thus sparking his love of rock music.

One of the major reasons he never quit music was because of that aunt. She passed away early, and was constantly the only member of his family that truly believed in him.

Dewey’s mum was kind of absent, so he was raised primarily by his dad.

Dewey and Ned met on the first day of high school, and were inseparable for all four years.

Despite both of them liking both, Dewey likes Star Wars more, while New prefers Star Trek. They have debates of epic proportion over which of these preferences is better. Dewey somehow always wins.

One of the reasons Ned let Dewey live with him is because Dewey is an amazing cook. He never eats what he makes though.

His specialty is breakfast foods

While he may be an amazing home cook, he’s an even better baker.

Dewey is highly sensitive to textures, especially food and fabrics.

Because of this, he rarely tries new foods, sticking to a decently firm schedule. (He really likes hard boiled eggs)

It’s also why he likes sweater vests. The actual sweater doesn’t touch his skin, but he can rub his hands up and down the knit when he gets overwhelmed.

He’s also sensitive to criticism. Along with that, he cries easily.

After the whole School of Rock incident, Dewey did some quick online classes on teaching. When a music teacher position at Horace Green opened up, he was the first one contacted to fill it.

During SoR shows, Dewey has a tendency to get very hyped, and this eventually leads to a collapse, usually on the bus ride home. It happened once on stage, where he just went still and quiet all of a sudden and then began to panic.

All of his kids know exactly what to do during his collapses.

They made him (yes made him) a stress doll. It weighs about twenty pounds and looks like a panda. They lay it across Dewey’s chest and let him lie down on a blanket. The kids then surround him to make a protective barrier. It’s a very effective method.

It took almost thirty years for Dewey to get diagnosed with mild autism, anxiety, ADD, and seasonal depression. His mother was a firm believer that mental illness was a hoax.

He did try and take medication for it, right when he started teaching full-time. It made him nauseous and tired and so unlike himself that he quit after three months, a decision that was fully backed by his students.

He eventually did go back and get a new prescription for his ADD. It works surprisingly well and doesn’t make him act any less like himself.

This isn’t even a Headcanon. It’s straight up actual canon from the Broadway.com Stick it to the Man video! Dewey stims! He knocks his wrists together and does the raptor hands! (I don’t think his hands were truly by his side at any point during the entire show) He taps his feet and shakes his hands! His facial expressions are always on 10 and he scronches his face when he’s excited! His head go bop! He’s a stimming Boi!

Also have you ever seen a neurotypical person dress like that? Ever? Nope. Sweater vests and jeans and sneakers (that look like heelys) is not a neurotypical outfit.

Dewey doesn’t like rainy weather, nor does he like the cold bite of winter. He has a heater and a happy light in his classroom for rainy and/or cold days.

His favorite season is fall. He really really likes to step on leaves and hear that satisfying crunch.

Dewey also has a weakened immune system, and is pretty vigilant about his health. He takes vitamins and vitamin D supplements, and yet always ends up with some kind of illness in winter. Despite this, he refuses to get any kind of flu shot.

Dewey’s list of phobias includes: needles, heights, clowns, and the dark.

He’s dead terrified of the dentist. Ned has to practically drag him every time. It’s not even that he has poor dental hygiene or has actual odontophobia, he just hates the experience. The combination of strong smells and uncomfortable touches and horrible noises overwhelms him so much.

For much of the same reasons as his hatred of the dentist, Dewey dreads getting his hair cut. Social interaction mixed with weird feelings on his surprisingly sensitive head and the constant background noise and the hair spray-y smell make it an experience Dewey’s hated since childhood. Now, Ned usually cuts Dewey’s hair because he’s really not picky about how it looks, and Ned knows exactly how to go about the job without causing Dewey to hyperventilate and cry.

He uses a night light! It’s the fun kind that projects stars on the ceiling.

Dewey is the king of field trips. He’s always just as eager as the kids to go, and he loves to learn niche facts. His favorite field trip location is the aquarium.

Dewey quit drinking after his 23rd birthday, when he blacked out and woke up in some random girl’s bed. She promised they didn’t do it, but ever since then, he’s terrified it’ll happen again.

Speaking of which, Dewey’s a virgin.

Once, one of Dewey’s female students came to him and said an older man was following her to and from school every day. Dewey was later suspended from work for a week for punching a man and putting him in the hospital. Once they knew why, the school board unanimously decided not to punish him.

Dewey absolutely insists all of his kids call him Dewey and not Mr. Finn.

He’s the most supportive teacher in the entire school. He’s got name tags on every desk with each kid’s preferred name and pronouns. When Billy comes out as non-binary, he makes the pronoun switch immediately and puts a beautiful stained glass-esque progress pride flag in one of his windows.

Someone hatefully vandalized said pride art project and Dewey actually cried. His kids all banded together to make a new one.

Sometimes, the kids purposefully ask Dewey to sing certain things because his voice gets so damn tender and beautiful, as opposed to the usual bombastic singing they’re used to. (Think like. Some of the 35MM songs)

Dewey has a routine with his drinks throughout the day. Two cups of coffee in the morning, one at home and one at work. One water bottle before lunch and one after lunch. A Gatorade or some other fitness drink after school, usually during band practice to make up for how sweaty he gets. And one cup of lavender citrus tea with extra honey after dinner.

He broke his only water bottle about four months into teaching full-time and started to use a plastic one every day. Ned decided that wouldn’t do, and got him a Mandalorian water bottle. Dewey loves it to bits.

Dewey doesn’t celebrate any one version of a holiday. He’s equal opportunity for any and all holidays, but he grew up Jewish. That doesn’t stop him from helping Ned put up his Christmas tree every year. Nor does it stop him from celebrating Yule with his online friends.

Despite being Jewish and mainly celebrating their holidays, Dewey loves Christmas music and starts playing it as soon as he can. The kids dare him to hit those ridiculous Mariah Carey high notes in All I Want For Christmas. He does it.

He also once sang ‘Little Drummer Boy’ to his kids the day before holiday break. He only played his guitar softly and by the time he was done, each and every kid was fast asleep. (He played Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer as well)

Dewey absolutely collects soft blankets. He has four halloween ones, two Tim Burton ones (a Beetlejuice and a Corpse Bride), eight winter holiday blankets, and three miscellaneous. He brought them all into class once and built a blanket fort to teach his kids about ancient civilization.

Speaking of which, his teaching methods are unorthodox at best, and at worst downright crazy. But he always teaches and he always makes it memorable. His class has the highest test scores in the school.

Dewey usually teaches using music or hands on activities. He plays soft background music during every class no matter the circumstances, and said screw the building’s lights and uses primarily lamps and strings of Christmas lights.

He also kind of forgets that he teaches essentially middle school, and he swears every so often when he’s super passionate. Like when he taught the kids about the US Presidents and called Andrew Jackson a racist bitch and Richard Nixon a lying bastard.

After getting bullied throughout all of high school, Dewey came to terms with what his body looked like, and now he really doesn’t care. (He did have a lot of fun smashing the scale his mother got him for his birthday once)

Dewey was supposed to teach his kids about mental illness for a suicide prevention thing the school did, but got about halfway through before he had a breakdown and the kids declared the rest of the day a bust. They watched cute animated movies instead of learning for the rest of the school day.

Speaking of animated movies, Dewey really loves Studio Ghibli.

The first time one of his kids called him ‘Dad’ he cried. Then they kept doing it and now he’s had to accept that he’s basically a father to about 30 11-year-olds.

If you ask any kid in the school who their favorite teacher is, they will not hesitate to answer ‘Mr. Finn.’ Even if they aren’t in his class, he’s their favorite.

Dewey’s classroom is always open for lunch. It’s quiet and calm, usually with a movie going in the background.

He also stays after school for about an hour every day, helping kids with homework. He hates math with a passion but that didn’t stop him from trying to figure out Katie’s math homework with her.

Even at home, Dewey cannot stand the quiet. He either has his headphones on or the radio going. Silence just isn’t an option.

Dewey once got pneumonia and tried to come in to work anyway. The kids made him go home. He didn’t really put up much of a fight.

The first instrument Dewey ever learned to play was the piano. He started to learn when he was super young, and that was how he learned how to read music. His kids didn’t even know he knew how to play until they walked in on him practicing one day.

Dewey says ‘fuck gender roles’ and wears the girl’s skirts to a few SoR concerts. He likes the way it makes his legs look.

Some jerk parents constantly tried to get Dewey in trouble for months because they didn’t like him and thought he wasn’t ‘high class’ enough for their kid’s education. Dewey was so stunned when they showed up during one of his classes that he couldn’t speak and just started to cry. Said student stood up and called their parents out. Two days later, those parents were off the school board.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the spectrum, Dewey found out a new kid he’d received was being abused at home because they weren’t getting high enough grades and he yelled at the kid’s parents in front of all the other staff members.

Essentially, Dewey can’t defend himself at all, but will not hesitate to protect his kids.

Dewey has said multiple times he would die for his kids. He’s always 100% serious, especially during lockdown drills.

Once, the school had a lockdown that wasn’t a drill, and Dewey managed to keep his entire class silent and calm while mentally preparing himself to lay his life down for his kids. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that.

Dewey’s also said he’d seriously consider adopting any of the kids if their at-home situation was that bad.

When he finally could, Dewey moved out of Ned’s house and into his own cramped loft apartment. He’s in love with the apartment, even though it’s tiny and kinda smells.

Dewey has almost no concept of volume control. He’s slightly deaf from constantly doing very loud shows and sometimes shouts because he thinks that’s a normal speaking volume.

As one of, if not the actual, youngest teachers at the school, Dewey is universally adored by the rest of the staff. It took a while for all of them to get on board with him, but now they all really like him.

Dewey’s favorite fruit is pomegranate. There’s just something super cathartic about cutting into a pomegranate and slowly de-seeding it. Plus, it tastes super good. But he only likes them if he can de-seed them himself.

One of the ways Dewey grounds himself is by pressing things to his mouth. He usually just puts his hand up on his face or the end of a pen in his mouth, but whenever he has a blanket, one corner is up against his lips. The same goes for stuffed animals. They’re always against his face. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.

#school of rock #dewey finn #school of rock the musical #alex brightman #my headcanons

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echidnapower · 4 years

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EP’s FanFiction Master Post

So this is something I should have done a long time ago on my previous account, but better late than never. For those of you who find me, this is going to be a place where you can find all the fics I’ve written over the years. This will be added to over time as I fight to revive my muse.

It’ll be categorized by fandom, so you can quickly find what you do or don’t want to read. Here we go.

Pokemon

A Valentines Dream Come True - It's Valentines Day, and a certain redheaded Gym Leader is finally getting to enjoy it with the boyfriend of her dreams. During their time together, they get into a little discussion about dreams, and Ash doesn't wanna tell her his! So to get him to spill, she tells him her dreams...when she finally learns Ash's dream...will both their dreams come true? - Based on a drawing from @miyatoriaka, which can be found HERE.

AAML: Diamond and Pearl Version - Follow me as I remake the DP episodes in order and in sequence, all so I can add the biggest star besides Ash himself. Misty! Watch her and Ash's love grow as they go on their journey. The absolute LONGEST story in my portfolio, and you will see my writing evolve the longer you go on. Be prepared for a massive read that even now is STILL going.

All I Want For Christmas Is You - It's Christmas time and the Ketchum household is hosting a party with all of Ash's friends. But while Ash and Misty dance around their feelings for each other, another Sensational Sister is about to find herself in a situation she never could have expected, but she'll be darned if she lets it slip through her manicured fingers. (Spinoff of @hollylu-ships-it‘s "A Christmas in Kanto" comic which can be found HERE.

Best Friend - "Why? Why did I have to be so stupid as to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend?" - Story told in Misty’s POV.

Blessings From Heaven - I'm Ash Ketchum, and I'm getting married today! But how did this come to be? Through God's devine planning is how. Here's my story: I'm marrying Misty. - Warning for religious themes, told in Ash’s POV.

I Miss You - Misty misses Ash terribly, and it's affecting her emotionally as she's more irritable than usual, if that was even possible. But Daisy has a plan to get Ash to come and see Misty again. Will her plan have the desired effect? Or will it cause something she never could've seen coming? - Based on a trio of drawings from the long lost Simply-Nicole. The old art can be found on my dA page HERE, HERE, and HERE.

I’m Misty, and You Are? - Misty tells the story we all know and love...literally. She's telling the story. Based on artwork from the long lost Simply-Nicole, which can be found on my old dA page HERE.

Keep The Faith - This time it's May and Drew getting married, and it takes place in the "Blessings From Heaven" universe. Warning for religious themes.

Looks - It's Ash's birthday and all of his friends have gathered together in the woods to reminisce on the time they spent traveling with their favorite Pokemon Trainer. But something's about to happen that could change the way that Ash and Misty look at each other forever…the question is, is it for the better?

Lovesick - Kenny is feeling strange...he feels like he's sick...but is he really ill? Or is he just lovesick?

Madam Zara - When Misty decides to get experimental with her appearance, she finds herself in the hands of a world-famous beautician named Madam Zara. With most of Misty's makeovers ending less than ideally, will this be the one to shatter the mold? And how will Ash react? - Based on a drawing and idea from @hollylu-ships-it which can be found HERE.

Our Own Sunset - Ash and Misty watch the sunset together, but Misty's bothered by it. - Set in the AAML: Diamond and Pearl version universe.

Pokeshipping Week 2015 - My first time participating in Pokeshipping Week ever, hard to believe it was five years ago.

Pokeshipping Week 2016 - This year of Pokeshipping saw me collab with @hollylu-ships-it, you can see the art she put together on her Tumblr page.

Symptoms of Love - Ash and Tracey are hit by a Vileplume's Stun Spore, and Misty has to fend for herself in order to find a cure. But once she gets Ash back to health, Ash still feels many of the same symptoms from before. Why is that?

Tell Me I’m Pretty - It isn't easy being the youngest sister, especially when your oldest sister is getting married and you're the only one without a date for the once in a lifetime event. Misty can't help but feel like she doesn't measure up somehow, but a surprise visit from her closest friend is sure to make her feel pretty once more. - Inspired by THIS piece from @hollylu-ships-it.

The Road Not Taken - When Ash gets some bad news from home, he goes into a depression and starts doubting both himself and the choices he's made. But luckily, someone is there with him to remind him he's loved and cared about. - Based on yet another drawing from @hollylu-ships-it. Look at it HERE.

Warmth - It's New Years Eve, and the recently married Ash and Misty Ketchum are ready to host their first ever holiday party at their home together, but when a snowstorm makes it so no one can arrive safely, Misty is saddened. But will they really end up spending their New Years Eve alone? Or will surprise visitors warm their hearts?

Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go

Iron Girl - A robot girl who hates the fact she's a robot...will she realize just how important she is or will she continue to simply wallow in self-pity?

War Between the Living and the Dead - The war between the living and the dead has begun, and the Hyperforce has to go up against their biggest challenge yet. But with help from their allies across the galaxy, they can triumph! Or can they? This is my take on what Season 5 would've been, plugging plotholes and making sense out of a series that left us all hanging.

Buzz Lightyear of Star Command

Reflections of a Legend - Buzz Lightyear Personal Log - Stardate 92893.81. I don't quite know how to explain this, or what I'm feeling, so I guess I'll just start talking and tell you what's on my mind. There's someone I just can't get out of my head, and truthfully, I'm not sure I want to. - This is a first-person dive into Buzz’s character.

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Kim Possible

Angels Watching Over Me - Kim and Ron are going down a dark path that could eventually end in their own destruction...literally, not figuratively. When the Sloth dangles over a cliff that holds their fate in the balance, who will come in their time of need? How about...someone they never could have dreamed? - Based on a true story, warning for religious themes.

Busted - Hana wants cookie, Hana tries to get cookie, Hana gets caught trying to get cookie.

The Running Back - All-star Running back Ron Stoppable is about to face the biggest challenge of his life. He's got just a few seconds to win the championship for the Middleton Mad Dogs, but more importantly to him, he's got just a few seconds to make his girlfriend proud.

The True Meaning - Both Ron and Kim are well aware of the true meaning of Christmas, and that's why they're volunteering at a church's Bethlehem Revisited event to spread the word. Kim's happy to help and all, but...why is Ron calling her such a weird name? - Warning for religious themes.

Trick or Treat - Kim is pulling a trick on Ron, will it be a great treat, or is he about to suffer the wrath of Kim Possible? He has no clue, yet.

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Fillmore!

A Promising Tomorrow - Takes place immediately after the end of the episode "A Forgotten Yesterday." Fillmore's lost two of his old friends now and needless to say, he's tired of losing people to the darkness he was lucky enough to escape from. Luckily, Ingrid's there to show him that his efforts to rehabilitate his delinquent friends haven't exactly gone to waste. There's one person who's benefited.

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Miraculous Ladybug

You’re Loved - Adrien Agreste, Chat Noir, different identities but more alike than he would like to admit. No matter who he becomes at any given time, there's always something very important missing in his life. Will he ever find what he's looking for? Or is it possible he's always had it and never realized it?

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Beyblade

We Are One - Kai gave it his all battling against Brooklyn and his bit-beast Zeus. Now, after his close brush with death, Kai must summon the strength to go and support Tyson before disaster strikes the world. But there's no way he's strong enough to do it on his own...but thankfully, he won't have to, which is what Kai is about to learn. Sister story to "I Can't Lose You."

I Can’t Lose You - A week after Tyson's battle against the evil bit-beast Zeus and his trapped blader Brooklyn, the world is slowly making its way back to normal. Kai managed to survive and is recovering in the hospital, and Tyson is getting some much-deserved rest. But when Kenny comes to tell Tyson that Hilary has quit the team, he loses it, and goes to find out why. My first Beyblade story.

Save a Dance For Me - With the all new BBA launching with a gala to celebrate the occasion, Tyson finds himself in the uncomfortable position of needing to ask someone to be his date. He has someone in mind, but will his greatest beyblading rival get in his way and turn out to be his greatest rival in love?

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Teen Titans

Healing Touch - With several Titans pairing up, the lingering emotions are taking a toll on Raven's empathic senses and causing her to lose control of her own feelings. When she gives in and does something completely crazy, it's up to Beast Boy to pull her out of a dark place and bring her back to the light. - There is accompanying artwork from @hollylu-ships-it HERE and HERE.

More Than a Hero - I've learned a lot of lessons under Batman, he taught me everything I would ever need to know about being a superhero, about being Robin...but Starfire taught me how to be Dick Grayson, and she taught me how to fly. - Story from Robin’s POV, accompanying artwork from @hollylu-ships-it is HERE.

Robin Rising - Life is good for Dick Grayson, he's the leader of a team of superheroes he's blessed enough to call his family, and he's about to turn 18 which he figures will open up a whole new world of possibilities for him. But when his old mentor and "father" calls in, showing that he captured a criminal that had eluded the Titans forever, things get flipped upside-down. - Multichapter fic which is part of a much larger universe, plenty of accompanying artwork can be found over on @hollylu-ships-it‘s account. Go give her a follow and fav.

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Sonic the Hedgehog

A Light in Darkness - A small band of heroes go back in time to try and prevent a cataclysmic event that would eventually destroy all of creation as they knew it. But what is the nature of this threat? How dangerous is it? And how far will they have to go in order to stop it from viciously destroying all they hold dear? Features a deep cast of Sonic characters, and a very special OC owned by @e-vay

Anonymous - For Shadow the Hedgehog, Christmas doesn't mean what it means to his friends and the rest of the world. Instead, he has a self-appointed mission he needs to carry out. But this year, he may find something that he's never really had before, and it could change the way Shadow sees Christmas for the rest of his life.

Christmas Wishes - For ten years, Amy Rose has only wanted one thing for Christmas, and she's finally come to accept the reality that she'll never receive it. But a conversation with Rouge rekindles her hope and her Christmas spirit. Will she be let down again? Or will her one wish finally come true this year? Read to find out. (Sister story to my other story titled "Anonymous")

Comfort In the Storm - When a thunderstorm strikes and leaves Cream quivering in fright, it's up to Tails to find a way to alleviate his crush's fears, and maybe even give her a reason to enjoy thunderstorms instead of fearing them.

Cream Adventure DX: Author’s Cut - A redo of an old story. Cream finds a strange statue in the meadow, and she knows just who to go to to figure out what it is, but she gets more than she bargained for when she goes looking for him. What happens?

Dreams of an Absolution - Silver lays awake at night and reflects on his life in this apocalyptic world Iblis has destroyed...but most of his reflections revolve around a certain fire girl with lavender fur. He wants to be happy with her, but a warzone is a bad place to kindle love, and so every night he lays awake, and dreams of an absolution.

Relations - Knuckles has a problem. He's in love...but...that presents a very unique problem...or does it?

Running to the Point of No Return - Sonic is the fastest thing alive, and Amy is told that that's the biggest obstacle keeping her and Sonic away from each other. But what's she supposed to do to keep up with him, when there's NO ONE fast enough to keep up with him?

Scars - Some things that happen in life leave scars behind that go with us for the rest of our lives. For Miles "Tails" Prower, such a thing happened to him in the depths of space many years ago...the loss of his first true love...though the pain weakens and the scars fade, they never go away completely, and Tails has learned to live with and embrace that fact.

Seven Rings and Five Fingers In Hand - A redo of the final battle in Sonic and the Secret Rings, Sonamy style!

The Heart of Chao - Chao are adorable little creatures, and they make great pets for anyone who's looking for something to take care of. But there's more to chao than just being cute, they're filled with more heart and love than anyone can imagine, and that can sometimes lead to bringing others closer together. Here are just a few stories of that very thing happening to our favorite characters.

Trapped In This Machine - Sonic has seemingly fallen madly in love with Amy, but is this sudden romance truly sincere, or is it only skin deep, hiding something sinister underneath? - Inspired by a drawing from @e-vay, found HERE.

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maemi324 · 4 years

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Seasonal

Hey there friends! As I am posting this it is my Birthday! I’m a whole 25 years old. I.FEEL.ANCIENT. But I decided to post this blurb that came to me, talking about seasonal depression, which is hitting hard as it’s starting to get cooler and becoming fall. To be clear, this is just my experience with Seasonal depression, everyones is different. It’s something that affects me, and many others, in different seasons, so I hope this little blurb will give you some form of joy- regardless of whether or not you have the depressions. It was actually kind of hard to write, but I got through it! Warnings: Talk of seasonal depression, numbness the like. Only been seen by one other person, and only edited by me. So I probably missed some stuff. Let me know what you think!

The day was cool and dreary, overcast that hung in the air. Cloudy days themselves weren’t bad, but the cool breeze nipping at the previously warm air kept you inside, scrolling through your phone.

It was a myriad of posts, those glad for the cooler weather and excited for the spooky holiday on the rise. You huffed a small laugh as the skeleton song popped up onto your page for the umpteenth time in that hour alone.

Even still, it was hard to see a constant reminder of the bleak months ahead as you tried to push it from your mind. But there was no fooling your body, or your mind. Seasonal depression was starting to kick in, and kick hard. The fucker never played fair anyway.

You were so tired, arms heavy as lead as they shook, a feeble attempt at keeping your phone from falling out of your grasp. Your mind was filled with the overcast clouds, no room for anything but sleep. You went to bed tired, you woke up tired and had the hardest time staying awake.

You leaned back further into the couch you were sitting on, looking onto the wall that held the crystals you gave to Keigo. Even with the sun gone, there was still enough light to show a few gentle prisms.

Though the colors were pretty, it didn’t alleviate the frown on your face. You had read that getting up and doing things would help you wake up or at the very least stay awake. Active, but simple things, cleaning up your bedroom, brushing your teeth and getting ready for the day.

How could you when your arms refused to lift for most things, hands feeling too smooth to actually grip, not that you had any product on there to cause said sensation. Whenever you got up, your knees felt like they were jello, though you got from place to place. Was it just in your head? Of course it was, but getting out of your head was the hard part.

You turned to look over at the end table beside the couch, only then remembering to turn on the happy light you were advised to get. You weren’t entirely sure it actually helped, it didn’t mimic the sun's golden hue, despite how bright it was, it maybe made the room a bit warmer. But it was still such a cold light, much like hospital lights that made your eyes ache after a while.

You pass another video, someone putting up fake skeletons whilst what you assumed to be a friend ran about in cheer for the cooler weather once again. You refrained from making any snide remarks in your head, it wouldn’t be fair to ruin their happy time. After all, Your summer could be their fall.

Your eyes gazed onto the clock. It’s only nine am ??! It was hardly close to lunch time even.

Irritation flashed within you, stomach gurgling in agreement. You hadn’t eaten breakfast yet, though you knew you should have. Food currently had no taste, no matter the amount of spices you added. It didn’t matter what was made, it never filled you and your stomach raged on.

You shuffled further into the blankets you covered yourself with, your tank top and shorts hardly keeping you warm, but you refused to wear pants, they just got tangled in the blankets and felt so constricting. You glanced to the kitchen, a glare on your features as the usually wonderful treats in there mocked your current state of taste bud.

You focused back onto your phone, ignoring your stomach for yet another random haul a user got for Halloween. Your eyes slowly began to fall closed, the music in the video, despite its energy, lulling you into a sense of...calm.

Thunk!

Your heart hammers hard against your chest, eyes wildly glancing around for the noise source.

Instead of monsters clawing from the grey shadows of daylight, you were met with sweet honied eyes.

“Well hello to you too angel” His voice hid none of his amusement, his hand held out towards you. You looked down to his hand only to find your phone. You must have dropped it at some point.

You took the phone from him, setting it on the coffee table and wrapped your arms around his neck. “ Keigo…” you cooed sleepily, “ You’re home for Lunch a bit early.”

You pressed kisses to his cheek and neck, trying to ignore that empty feeling growing back to life.

“Early? Nah, right on time, it’s noon babe. You fell back asleep it looks like” He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you so you were standing with him. He looks you in the eyes, searching for something.

“Yeah, I guess I did” you murmur, eyes averting his gaze. He’d known you were having trouble staying awake, that the change of seasons really hit you hard. He seemed to have found whatever he was looking for as he pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and let go.

“Well, I guess that just makes it more of a surprise, speaking of surprises!” he turned to the coffee table, rummaging through some bags. With a chirp of victory, he hands you a take out box filled with your favorite, (F/food). “ I brought your favorite back home with me”

You couldn’t help but smile, though it didn’t feel forced, it didn’t feel like you were emoting quite right though your genuine happiness was there. He sat down on the couch with you, leaning into your side as he flipped on his phone for something.

A soft beat came first, followed by the gentle plucks of a guitar, sounds you usually associated with summer time music. You glanced over at him, brow raised in a silent question.

He was already opening his take out, a smirk on his face

“Sorry dove, it was just a bit too quiet” was all he said. “Hardly a quiet moment with you Keigo” you teased, “ But I can’t say I dislike your choice in mood” “My sense of mood is never wrong angel!”

You ate relatively quickly, wanting to spend more time with Keigo than focusing on the food, which did have just a bit more taste than anything else you had eaten.

He talked to you about his day so far, nothing too crazy that he couldn’t handle.

The relaxed tune you had been listening to turned into something a bit more fast paced.

It was a favorite between the two of you, the song you danced to at the bar, the night you had your first kiss on the beach. He stood up, offering his hands to you, “ Come on, it’s our song love bird!” It might have been corny to have a song but you couldn’t care less. Not with that smile that lit up a room, a laugh so sweet you could eat for dessert.

So you took his hands, his wings fluffed up in excitement. He took off his visor, and placed it on you, your vision becoming slightly yellow tinted.

Oh it made so much difference

Everything looked and felt a bit more...alive. There weren’t any dull sensations of haze and endless numbness. You grabbed his hands again as he pulled you in.

It was hardly a masterful thing to fawn and coo over, but it had you laughing as he spun you around, his feathers having moved the coffee table out of the way. As you would spin out, he’d do something entirely and fantastically goofy, waving his hands in the air then pulling you back in. All to make you giggle and laugh as he hugged your back to his chest, blowing raspberries on your neck.

“Keigo!” “Oh what? Did I spin you too slow, so demanding my dove” and he spun you out again with an extra kick of some sort of energy.

The song came to an end, and you were all red in the face, heart beating hard, but it was welcome.

“You utter goof” You giggled, pushing his visor off of your eyes, the change dented your happy mood, but only just slightly.

“Your goof” he pressed a wet kiss to your cheek. “So, I noticed you liked the visor? It is pretty stylish if I do say so myself”

You flopped back onto the couch, nodding, “ Yeah, they look real good on you. But it was nice, things just looked...better”

Did the color really change your outlook so much?

“Well, I was doing some late night browsing and found that sometimes glasses that are yellow tinted or block blue light can help with your seasonal grey time blues” a feather brought over a small bag, hiding between the food bags, and placed it in his hands.

“So I thought...these might help, whenever we can’t just dance the blues away” His cheeks turned a slight pink as his wings flapped awkwardly at your lack of response.

He’d gone out of his way to get you these special glasses, just so that you could feel better.

Your eyes watered slightly, getting back up from the couch and walking over to him. You placed both hands on his jaw and pulled him down for a tender kiss that he gladly reciprocated. “ You are entirely too sweet for your own good Keigo. I love you, thank you...thank you so much”

He unfolds the glasses, placing them gently on your face.

“I love you too song bird”

#my hero academia #my hero academia hawks #my hero academia takami Keigo #bnha hawks #bnha reader #bnha takami keigo #takami keigo x reader #takami keigo #hawks x reader #reader insert #maemiwritesBNHA

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

Text

December Contest Submission #12: Candles and Blankets

words: ca. 4,500 setting: mAU, candle shop AU lemon: not really cw: (SPOILER) fire, depression

Have you ever fallen in love with the gorgeous fiber artist across the street but she’s a really kind person and you aren’t sure if she’s into you or just being courteous, so you invite her to a romantic candlelit dinner for your own birthday in the back of your own candle shop?

Hey there.

My name is Anna, and …my life? Is pretty crazy.

I guess you could say the stars aligned for Elsa and I to meet.

It was a Tuesday.

New moon, new beginnings.

The sky was brightening with the dawn as I twisted my key around in the tricky lock. I really needed to call a locksmith soon, but I wasn’t sure if my business insurance covered new locks. Fires and floods, come at me; but an inconvenient lock… I probably wasn’t so lucky.

After a minute I finally heard the heavy click as my ears also noticed the sound of a car pulling up behind me. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, but instead of turning right around, I cautiously used the glass store windows to take a peek.

My shoulders relaxed. A blonde woman my age was behind the wheel.

I pretended to struggle even more with my key until I heard her get out of her vehicle. Then, I spun around with a smile on my face too bright for the hour.

“Good morning!” I greeted her. As she stepped into view to pay the meter, I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows. You would’ve done the same if the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen just parked in front of your candle shop at 6:30 AM in the middle of October.

“Hi,” she smiled gently. I’d never seen eyes such an icy blue give off so much warmth on a chilly fall morning. She glanced up at my sign, ‘Anna’s Awesome Aromas,’ and her smile brightened. “Oh! Do you sell candles here?”

A little confused how she parked right in front of a shop she didn’t know sold candles, but not one to judge, I answered, “Yes! I make them and sell them. In fact, I’m Anna herself.” I offered my hand out to shake.

She leaned forward to shake with a cold hand and then gestured across the street at the vacant shop building. “I’m here to look at the building for lease. Nice to meet you! My name is Elsa.”

“Elsa! Wow!” This woman was flawless right down to the name. “Wait, you’re looking into Kristoff’s old place? Sweet, what’s your business?”

“Oh,” she nervously reached a hand behind her neck. “I just make blankets.”

“Just? That’s amazing! Do you knit?” I wasn’t about to let this stranger downplay her talents.

“I, um, knit, crochet, quilt, design fleece patterns, and mess with a few other styles every once in a while.”

“Wow, so you can do everything! That is so cool, Elsa. Seriously.”

Her cheeks were turning magenta. “I still have a lot to learn. I’d love to see your candle shop!” She said, deflecting the attention from herself. “Maybe after the realtor and I do our walkthrough I could take a look inside?”

“Absolutely!” I nodded. “In fact, if you’re done around lunch time, come on in and I’ll share my lasagna with you in the back. I brought enough for a small army.”

The way she smiled at me, crinkling her eyes, before she turned and walked across the street had my insides feeling… cozy. Comfortable.

Safe.

——————————

That Christmas was the best I’d had in a long time. Elsa had set up her blanket shop in early November, and we became fast friends. I never ate another lunch alone - we alternated between her office and mine, always able to keep an eye on whichever shop was unattended across the street.

December was a busy sales month for us both, with lots of customers needing candles and blankets to warm themselves and their loved ones in the cold holiday season. For that reason, I cherished our lunches as the only time we had to get to know each other as new friends. We both worked long days keeping our shops running smoothly and churning out new products in our evenings, often late into the night.

Neither of us had any employees, even a business partner, let alone a life partner; so sharing lunch with a like-minded and equally hardworking woman was honestly life changing.

The week leading up to Christmas was so busy with last-minute-gift shoppers, we called off our lunches to keep our shops open every precious minute. In a stroke of luck, Christmas fell on a Sunday, so we both closed up shop for the whole weekend, giving ourselves a true holiday.

Naturally, we spent it together. After convincing her she wouldn’t be intruding, Elsa came over to my apartment on Christmas Eve and we relaxed all day with no talk of businesses. She spent the night on my couch and our Christmas Day was filled with lazy cooking and laughter.

She gifted me a beautiful tree skirt that she knit especially for me with stripes featuring all my favorite blankets she’d made. For Elsa, I made a candle with ten different layers, because she was always saying her favorite scent was my whole shop, with all my aromas melding together.

“I can’t believe we gave each other the same thing!” She had laughed.

“It’s perfect,” I was grinning wider than I had in years. “We’re perfect,” I wanted to add.

—————————————

It’s amazing how something as simple as having a friend can make time fly by. As winter melted into spring, both Elsa and I were entering our “off season,” as people no longer craved the warmth our products provided. Even so, the days didn’t drag on.

I still lunched with Elsa every day and we never ran out of things to talk about, from crazy customer stories, to new products we’ve tried to create, to old childhood memories. There was always more to learn about each other, even after I thought Elsa might know me better than I knew myself.

But then there was the concern: did she know me well enough to figure out I had an enormous, ever-growing crush on her? And did I know her well enough to figure out if she might feel the same?

That was my main source of anguish as the weather turned as warm as my three wick candles.

Every day I sat with Elsa as she ate her chicken caesar salads or Taco Bell (there was no in between), and I ate my peanut butter sandwiches, or Campbell’s soup. And every day I’d stare at her light shining hair and blushed cheeks, as she smiled sweetly and laughed at all my jokes with a sound more gorgeous than fucking wind chimes. And every day I could feel myself falling further.

I used to live and breathe for my candle shop; I woke up with a purpose to create new scents and gorgeous colors, experimenting with different types of wax. It was usually what I dreamed about.

Now… I was dreaming about Elsa. I was waking up excited, not about how many candles I might sell that day, but how many times I might make Elsa laugh during lunch. Will she flash me that look, the one where her eyes sparkle and the corner of her mouth smiles, making it look just for a second that she had glimpsed my soul - and liked what she saw?

I just didn’t know what to make of it, because Elsa was too nice. She seemed to interact with everyone the way she interacted with me. Granted, nobody else got to spend lunch with her everyday, or talk about our small businesses together, or drop by to visit on our rare days off. But how was I supposed to find out if she was romantically into me without risking everything good that had come into both of our lives?

It was June when I had the idea. My birthday was coming up the following month, so why not plan something special? Something …romantic? Then if there was anything to blossom between us, it would have the perfect environment to happen without forcing anything or asking potentially devastating questions.

Perfect!

It wasn’t hard to plan out once I had the idea. I chose the restaurant I’d be ordering out from, and easily convinced Elsa to come over to my shop after we both closed.

I was wearing my favorite green summer dress - the flowy one with pockets - and kept my hair down for a change. At the stroke of 7 I closed up and headed out to pick up the dinner and suddenly it hit me. Was it weird to plan and host my own birthday dinner? A birthday dinner for only me and the girl I was in love with?

Well, it was too fucking late, if so. I came back with the food and spent the next half hour setting up a table with nice place settings and lighting my sexiest scented candles all around my office and store. As the sun set, eight o’clock rolled around and Elsa closed up her shop, too.

As I watched her delicately make her way to my side of the street, I chewed my lip. Here goes… everything.

I came to my shop door to let her in as she approached my dimly lit building, and was stunned by how beautiful she looked. She was wearing a shiny blue sleeveless top and tight white capris, with heels to match her blouse and the kicker - a white bow tie hanging untied around her neck. Her wavy hair was gently bouncing around her shoulders with each step. I opened the door for her and the bell above jingled loudly.

She beamed when she saw me, stepping inside to set down her leather backpack purse and white gift bag to give me a big hug. “Happy birthday, Anna,” she said softly into my shoulder.

“Thanks, Els,” I squeezed back, breathing in her perfume. It was my favorite scent, one I’d never quite been able to replicate at home - something between the ocean breeze and a floral woodland meadow.

As we pulled apart I glanced down her outfit one more time, “You look incredible.”

“So do you! And well, you said to dress nice, so… that’s what I’ve got,” Elsa laughed nervously.

“It’s perfect. So!” I clapped my hands together, “Shall we head to the back?”

“After you, lovely,” Elsa grinned and picked up her two bags again. As we walked she began to notice the candlelit atmosphere. “This is really something, Anna. You went through all this trouble just for the two of us?”

I winced. This was a weird thing to do… Play it cool. “Oh, it wasn’t much trouble at all! I thought we deserved something nice. Something special.”

“We do! Especially you, Anna. You work so hard.”

“Not as hard as you,” I countered, as we stepped into my cozy office. My desk was in the corner by the window-wall facing out to the street, and in the front area by the couch we usually ate our lunches on, I had set up our small dining experience.

The only light was from all the candles I had placed around the room; a few were on the little table itself, which also held our take out dinner that I already plated up.

“Wow!” Elsa was standing wide-eyed behind me, a huge smile creeping onto her face. “This is — it’s incredible. Did you get Romeo’s?” She recognized the food from the local fancy Italian restaurant.

“Bone apple teeth!” I grinned. “Shall we eat, before it gets any colder?” I said, gesturing to a chair.

As we settled in to eat, my racing heart calmed a little. This felt right, it felt like us, sharing a meal like we did every day. Just… fancy.

“I’m thankful you got me Alfredo,” Elsa said a few minutes into our meal. “Or my white pants may never be the same.”

“Oh man!” I said with spaghetti hanging out my mouth, “That was a lucky guess. Imagine if I made you get tomato sauce on your pants!”

Elsa laughed. “I imagine I’ll be taking them off.”

“What?”

“Um, I said I imagine I would be taking them off. If I stained them.” A blush was forming on Elsa’s cheeks.

I felt my face warming too, wondering if Elsa had meant what she had first implied. Then, Elsa set her fork down and took a deep breath.

“No, you know what,” she said, looking me intensely in the eye. “You went out on a limb here with this dinner, and so will I. Anna, I really like you.”

Was I supposed to hear the blood rushing past my eardrums?

“Everything has been better since you came into my life - or since I came into yours, whichever way you want to think of it.” Elsa smiled sincerely, “I didn’t realize what was happening right away, but I’ve known for a while now that I’m just - just helplessly in love with you.” Her gaze shifted down to the table as she kept talking, “It’s hard to pretend that I can keep my cool around you when all I feel is the warmth of friendship, of …love. Of something deeper. Something I’ve never felt before, and I’d never want to feel with anyone who isn’t you.”

She cleared her throat and looked me in the eye once more, “So, if this dinner was your way of saying you might share some of those feelings for me too… first of all, at this point I fuckin hope it was; and secondly… that was it, I can’t remember…”

By the time Elsa had trailed off her words, I was next to her chair, cupping her face with my hands. “Can I kiss you?”

She touched one of my hands, holding it to her cheek as she stood up. Taking a step away from the table, Elsa slid her other hand behind my waist. There was a moment we just looked into each other’s eyes as the pull between us became stronger. “Please,” was all she whispered before our lips came together like the pages of a closing book.

I had never kissed anyone - I had… no idea it could be like this. Her lips were so soft as they moved with mine, and it felt like they were asking permission with each caress. A small tear escaped one of my closed eyes.

I felt so emotional as she ran her fingers through my hair, stroking my scalp. She - Elsa, she wanted me, too. She loved me, too. And I realized I hadn’t actually said that yet — I pulled away suddenly and watched her open her eyes in surprise.

“I love you, Elsa.”

She smiled in relief.

I rested my forehead against hers, standing on my tiptoes to reach. “I just wanted to make that clear.”

***

We did not finish our meal.

The folding chairs sat forgotten as I laid Elsa down on the nearby couch and straddled her hips as we both reached for clothes we no longer wished to wear. I took a second to be grateful for the partial wall that blocked the couch from the view of anyone passing by the shop’s windows.

Elsa tugged on one end of her bow tie and it slipped out from behind her neck in one fluid motion - probably the sexiest move I’ve ever seen.

As I lifted my dress above my head, Elsa was gazing up at me, hypnotized. I let the dress fall to the floor beside us. “You’re falling a bit behind, love.” All she had taken off was her tie, and I already sat in my under garments.

She reached for the bottom of her blouse. “One advantage to dresses I suppose,” Elsa said. ��If you’re into that.” She sat up a little to whip the shirt off, exposing a black sports bra.

“God, how are you so hot?” I didn’t let Elsa answer before leaning down to kiss her again. I reverently felt her soft skin as I ran my palms over her sides and found the small of her back. “I’ve, er, never done this before.”

Elsa gave a slight squeeze to my hips. “Me neither. It’s ok. We can figure it out together, but I’m probably gonna need to take my pants off first.”

I laughed, “Alright, I’ll get up.” When I planted a foot on the floor and stood up, I paused. I took another breath through my nose. “What’s that smell…?”

Elsa looked at me. She sniffed the air. “Is something burning?”

I turned to the doorway leading into the hallway to the store. An orange glow far too bright made my heart drop and my stomach fill with dread.

“On second thought, keep your pants on.” I grabbed Elsa’s top, threw it at her, and grabbed my dress, pulling it on haphazardly. I ran to the doorway and stopped when I saw how big the fire was in my shop. It looked like everything was engulfed in flames. Nothing could be saved from there. Oh my god.

Pop!

Pop pop!

Candles on my shelves were exploding. Oh god oh god oh god.

“We gotta get outta here!” I slammed the office door shut to hold off the blazing heat of the main store’s fire, trapping us in my office. I ran to the wall of windows by my desk, grateful there was no second floor.

Elsa met me at the wall with her bags. “Can we send this through the windows?” She pointed at my filing cabinet.

Together we pushed the metal cabinet to the window wall and then heaved our combined body weight into it, sending it crashing through the panes. Shards of glass rained down on us, but only a few pieces were sharp enough to cut. The cabinet toppled over onto the pavement outside.

I pushed out a few extra pieces of glass to make way for us to squeeze through. After I got out I helped Elsa climb in her heels, over the filing cabinet out onto the sidewalk. Together we pulled it farther away from the building.

“You call 911 and stay back from here,” I yelled as I ran back to the broken glass. “I have to get a few more things.”

Elsa looked terrified as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and took more steps backward into the deserted street. Turning toward my shop, my hand shook as I reached forward, crouching through my broken window, back into my smoldering office.

The room was starting to fill with smoke and almost constant candle explosions could be heard through the wall. I decided the most important things to get out first were my computers. I grabbed my laptop and quickly unplugged everything from the desktop computer tower. I didn’t need the keyboard or monitor.

Stifling a cough, I crouched through the glass and carried the computers to the curb. As soon as they were down safely, I turned and ran back in.

I couldn’t help but cough this time. Soon the door holding back the inferno would bust - or maybe the shared wall would be engulfed first. Either way, I was running out of time. The air was so, so hot.

One of the candles across the room burst. A searing hot glass shard lodged itself in my arm, near my elbow. I screamed, brushing it away, and the scream turned quickly to more coughing and sputtering.

Through the attack on my lungs, I grabbed everything I could hold off my desk - my purse included, and made my way out as fast as I could.

As I climbed out onto the sidewalk, I felt the office door behind me blow out. In the split second I had, I hurled everything I was carrying as far out as I could and then threw myself to the side in an attempted barrel roll just as the fireball rolled out and licked at my heels.

I sputtered and coughed on the ground as Elsa sprinted over to me. She grabbed a flat piece of debris and swatted at the edge of my dress that had caught fire. Once it was out, she lifted me over her shoulder and took me over to her building where she had been taking the items I rescued from my office.

Setting me down gently, she kept my hand in hers. “They’re on their way.”

My coughing still wouldn’t let up but I couldn’t actually feel my aching lungs anymore, or even the searing gash in my arm, as I sat on the concrete, numbly watching my store go down in flames.

Watching everything I worked for burn away.

———————————————

I didn’t notice August.

They held me at the hospital for two days for the smoke inhalation, my burn wound, and other minor cuts. Then I was released and I sat in my apartment.

I didn’t have a job to go to. My work was gone.

The insurance claim was going to take 90-120 days to go through but they assured me I would be covered for the total loss. So I wouldn’t go into massive debt, but I still mourned. I had no business, no product, no motivation.

So I sat.

I threw out all the candles in my home.

Maybe it was anger, maybe it was guilt, but it most definitely was fear. I never wanted to see another candle again in my life. The destruction they caused - my own creations did this to me. My own negligence. My own lust.

I had also shut Elsa out.

I knew it wasn’t fair to her but I couldn’t even think about her without reliving the terror of the fire. I just couldn’t handle seeing her… so I said I needed space, I needed time to recover alone.

It’s been over a month though, and while the pain still hasn’t gone away, now loneliness has joined it in my torment.

I missed Elsa so much it hurt. And not even in the we-didn’t-even-get-to-have-sex way; I missed my friend.

A week into September, Elsa begged me to come to her apartment. She said she just needed to see I was ok, just needed to talk.

It wasn’t a hard decision with the way I felt like I was dying without her in my life. But I needed her to initiate it or my guilt never would’ve allowed me the opportunity. So I went.

I couldn’t bring myself to change out of the sweats I’d been wearing for at least a week, but I managed to put on deodorant. My hair was pulled into the cleanest messy bun I could muster. It would probably be the bags under my eyes that she would comment on first. The two main subjects of my dreams were now either nightmare fuel or guilt trips, so I had barely been sleeping.

The biggest surprise to me when I met her outside were the matching bags under Elsa’s eyes.

As I walked to her she met me halfway with a warm hug. I saw the look of mixed relief and concern on her face as she took in my appearance.

“Anna,” she whispered as she held me close.

I drew in a shaky breath. “Els,” my reply was like a reflex and I melted into her embrace. With a little sadness I noticed she wasn’t wearing her perfume, but everything else about the hug was all that I had been craving.

“Come on,” she led me into her apartment.

It wasn’t hard to tell I wasn’t doing ok, and neither was she for that matter, so the question was never brought up. Instead she made me tea and held me on the couch, murmuring soft things like, “I’ll keep you warm.”

When I was calm from the tea, Elsa went to get something from another room. She returned with the white gift bag from my birthday, though it might have been replaced with a new gift bag, given how pristine it still looked.

“I still want you to have this, Anna,” she said softly. “But first let me tell you about an idea I’ve had. I just want you to listen to it, no need to respond right away.”

I nodded.

She sat back down with me. Her voice never raised above a light trickling of a fountain as she spoke, “I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been going through. But I do know what trauma feels like. So I have a clue about what you may be feeling toward what you used to do; what you used to love doing now feels painful. Maybe even terrifying…”

Elsa took my hand in hers. “I got this idea a couple weeks ago when I accidentally dropped my bottle of perfume into your gift bag.” She chuckled grimly. “It all spilled out and your present soaked it up.”

She reached down into the bag and turned her head to me, “Would you mind closing your eyes?”

I closed them.

With a soft whoosh, a thin, but nicely heavy blanket settled onto me. As I breathed through my nose, suddenly a wave of familiar comfort washed over me. Her perfume was scenting the whole blanket. I wanted to cry. “Elsa,” I whispered, my hands shaking.

She rubbed my leg through the fabric. “I know, sweetheart,” Elsa sat back into the couch, cuddled close to me and I kept my eyes closed as she continued to talk. “After that happened, I thought… nobody really does this. Creating scented oils just for the purpose of dripping onto fabric like blankets for an extra comforting experience. Like I know essential oils exist, but that’s just the beginning of the potential you would have if you, say… wanted to become my business partner, to create scent drops for my blankets…”

She trailed off and let that sit there with me to think about. I felt the same revelation she probably experienced coming up with the plan. “Elsa,” I said with my eyes still closed. “That’s brilliant. When I’m ready… I would love that.”

I felt her sigh with relief. “Can I see the blanket now?” I asked.

She sat upright, “Here let me hold it up for you to see. It might bring up some emotion. I swear I had no idea what was going to happen when I was making it…”

The blanket was lifted off of me. I slowly opened my eyes to see… a perfect image of my shop in all her glory, hand stitched and glowing softly yellow through the windows. Around the edges of the blanket were the words, “Anna’s Awesome Aromas,” repeated in a pattern. I sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa said, gathering up the blanket. “It’s too soon, I shouldn’t hav—“

“Stop,” I said while tears dripped down my face. “It’s perfect,” I stood up and flung myself into her arms, making the blanket fall to the floor at our feet.

“You’re not upset?” she asked.

“I’m only upset that I shut you out for so long. I’m sorry,” I held her tight. “You are everything I need, how could I not see that?”

“It’s ok,” Elsa kissed my forehead. “Some things aren’t meant to be seen; they have to be felt, or smelled, maybe tasted.”

With a gentle kiss, she began my healing.

#elsanna #submission #december 2020 contest #prompt: warmth #cw: fire #cw: depression

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thechildoflightning · 5 years

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Forecast

Title: Forecast

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Remile

Word Count: 3217

~~~

Summary:

An average fall morning with Remile, ft. depression fog, broke college students buying expensive coffee, teeny tiny pumpkins, emotional distress, and succulents (not in that order).

For the lovely @illogicallyinclined’s hockey au.

Warnings: Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder

[ao3 link]

~~~

Forecast

Remy had mixed feelings about October and the approaching holidays and seasons.

On one hand- October meant Halloween which meant seasonal drinks like Pumpkin Spice. It also meant that decorations went up and he and Emile would get a bunch of those ittie bittie pumpkins to put literally everywhere in their apartment. Emile would light his candles and the apartment would smell like falling leaves, and apples, and pumpkin pie. He loved it.

On the other hand- October brought the beginnings of Remy’s seasonal affective disorder- which he had just nicknamed “The Big Sad.” Seasonal depression adding onto his regular depression was just another weight on his back, until it became an almost struggle to just be at a decent mood level. He hated it

This year had hit him hard.

He wasn’t even sure why.

So here he was, lying on the bed he shared with Emile, blinking up at the ceiling and trying to convince himself to just… get up.

He could. He knew he could.

It was always the mornings too. The mornings were a bit harder than everything else because now he had the whole day looming ahead of him and it just seemed so long and forbidding.

Over the years, Remy had counteracted this with a routine. If mornings were always going to be hard for him, might as well give him something to get up for, right? So he had collected succulents over the past few years, slowly decorating the apartment. He’d check them all every morning, fingers gliding over their leaves carefully to take note of growth, decay, light damage, shade damage, soil dryness, and much more.

Had he really expected to learn this much about succulents? No. But he had. And he loved it.

Most importantly, it gave him a reason to get up.

He would then make himself breakfast, and Emile some too if he was around, before heading to classes, work, practice, or whatever he had that day.

The routine kept him moving, kept him active, kept him from not sitting in bed all day long.

These days, it generally wasn’t even a struggle. But he woke up on the third day of October with a weight in his bones and the faint smell of ginger and cinnamon in the air.

His alarm had gone off twice now. The second one was his safety. His “okay, you’re having a rough day, here’s a few extra minutes, but then you need to get up alarm.”

He hadn’t gotten up.

Nope. Instead, he was blinking lazily up at the ceiling, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes and a heavy weight settled across his chest. Fuck depression. Fuck SAD.

This was, of course, when the door opened.

“Remy!” his roommate? friend? boyfriend? partner’s voice cheered as he entered the apartment, “Guess what! The cafeteria put up little pumpkins today and I remembered we hadn’t gone out and gotten any yet and we don’t have weights or Zumba today, and you don’t work until later so we totally have time to-”

Emile cut himself off as he realized that the kitchen area (that was more than a kitchenette but less than an actual kitchen) did not actually contain the person he was attempting to rant to.

Remy would give him to the count of three.

Sure enough, right as Remy ticked the final number off in his head, the door to their room (which had technically started as Remy’s but was now really both of theirs) was pushed open by Emile.

“Rem?” the voice called.

He couldn't quite make his vocal cords work, but he could shift slightly under the bed covers.

Seconds later the light in the room was flickering on and Emile’s warm gaze met Remy’s cold one.

“Oh,” Emile said, taking in the situation, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Remy replied meekly.

Emile sighed at the reply. But it wasn’t one of those sighs of frustration or annoyance. It was one of those small sighs that was just a breath of air. A reassurance. Emile always sighed like that. Remy thought it was maybe a stupid thing to love, but he loved it nonetheless.

Emile walked forward and settled on the edge of the bed, extending an arm with the palm face up.

A knot grew in Remy’s throat, even as he extended his own hand to grasp Emile’s.

“You’re usually up by now,” Emile offered.

“I know,” he said.

“What are you at?”

Remy sighed. This sigh wasn’t like Emile’s nor was it one of frustration. No, it was a sigh representative of the crushing weight of everything in the world building up and accumulating, dragging Remy down with it.

“Big SAD’s at like a six or seven? It’s, it’s not so bad. Just used to it being a lot better now. This year hit hard,” Remy confided.

Emile nodded and rubbed his thumb soothingly against the back of Remy’s hand.

“I need to get up,” Remy said.

“You usually check on your plants,” Emile said. It was his way of agreeing, his way of encouraging and supporting Remy on days like this without providing pressure. Holding his hand and grounding him, reminding him he wasn’t alone. Talking about his plants and their needs, reminding him he had a routine. That getting up seemed impossible, but it wasn’t.

Remy groaned loudly before dropping Emile’s hand and rolling to the side of the bed. He let his weight carry himself over the edge, caught him just before he fell, and stood.

He made it out of bed. That was something.

(Emile’s soft laughter at his behavior was also quite the reward).

As Emile continued to giggle, the faint outline of a smile graced Remy’s face. He rushed forward and lifted Emile up, twirling him once before setting him down and giving his hair a soft kiss. He released Emile, and then started for the day.

“Plants first,” Remy said, “Then breakfast. Sound good?”

“I can help with breakfast,” Emile offered.

“No,” Remy insisted immediately, “No I always make breakfast, it’s okay.”

Emile shrugged, but relented without further argument.

Remy moved to the windowsill that contained his plants, and began to check the first one’s leaves. Emile stood right next to him, not quite in his way, but close to it.

“Maybe I should get some plants. Maybe some flowers that can grow indoors.”

“Em, honey, you don’t have the time.”

Em pouted, sweater paws folding over his chest, but didn’t protest Remy’s claim. Remy laughed at the sight and moved to the next plant.

The fog of depression still settled in his brain, but now that he was up and talking and moving, it seemed to be lifting a bit more. It was settling back to be manageable once more, instead of overwhelming. He could deal with that.

“Remy! This one has flowers!” Emile suddenly exclaimed, from further down the windowsill, which considering the windowsills length, was just a few more inches down.

Remy pulled his attention away from the current succulent he was inspecting, and directed it towards the plant Emile had been pointing out.

Sure enough, just in between two thick green nubs, a long green stem with tiny blooming white flowers appeared. Remy smiled at the sight and Emile tucked into his side.

“It’s pretty,” Emile claimed.

“Mmhmm, yeah,” Remy agreed, hooking his head over Emile’s own, and holding him there for a minute. He wasn’t really quite tall enough to do such, so he had to stand on his tiptoes and raise his chin a bit, but it was so worth it.

They stood there together a bit, peering at the little white flowers, before moving onward with their day.

During breakfast, Emile re-explained what he had started to that morning when he had first entered the apartment.

He told Remy about how the main dining hall now had the tiny baby pumpkins up in it and how they absolutely had to get some for the apartment themselves. He was practically begging, coming up with a billion and one reasons that they should get them, as if Remy didn’t love them just as much.

After breakfast, they cleaned up, and Remy showered and dressed, before heading out to get said pumpkins. Emile had been right, it was hard to find substantial time when they were both free to do things together, and Thursday mornings happened to be one of the few times. They still didn’t have a lot of time, but it was something.

They were walking in the direction of the grocery story when Emile came to a complete halt. Remy blinked and tried to figure out what had happened.

Just a minute ago Emile had been talking about one of his classes. Remy had been trying to listen, really he had, but the fog in his brain had started to pick up again, making each step a little bit harder and listening to even mindless chatter almost impossible

It also meant that if Emile had given any warning or explanation for stopping, Remy had completely missed it.

“Emile?” he asked.

“Let’s get coffee,” he said, gesturing to the Starbucks in front of them.

Okay, that wasn’t fair. Emile knew he was going to say yes.

“Coffee’s expensive,” he mentioned. They were broke college students which was why it was completely unfair of Emile to say they were getting coffee because of course Remy was going to say yes but they couldn’t keep buying the stuff if they wanted to have food for meals and tiny pumpkins.

“Yeah, but I know you love the seasonal drinks. My treat,” was Emile’s response.

“Emile, I’m literally the one with the discount.”

And the one with the father that was more than willing to fund Remy’s coffee addiction three times over but he was trying to adult himself with minimal support from parents. Minimal support meaning yes please pay for my education and part of rent that is very appreciated but also I should probably learn how to feed and clothe myself I’ll let you know if I’m failing at that and then you can swoop in and save me.

“Okay. Then your discount, my money. Mostly my treat.”

Emile’s defense was weak at best but it didn’t really take much to convince Remy in the first place. Plus, he had that blinding smile on his face that just made Remy melt.

“Okay,” he agreed, “Okay. Coffee. But we can’t make it a habit.”

Emile shrugged, nodded, and pulled him towards the door.

“We won’t,” he promised, “Just today. Special occasion.”

Remy grinned lightly. Emile was always saying stuff like that, calling mundane things special or important. Remy pretended to hate it, but somehow, whenever Emile did it, it really did make whatever event just a little bit magical.

“And what, pray tell, is so special,” he drawled, dropping his arm onto Emile’s shoulder.

Emile shrugged and moved forward to get in line, Remy trailing afterwards, leaning his weight against him just to piss him off. (It didn’t seem to be working as Emile just sorta snuggled into his side and, great, now he was blushing).

“It’s special because…” Emile trailed, before his eyes lit up like gems, “Because you got out of bed this morning!”

A lump grew in Remy’s throat and he had the urge to take his arm off of Emile’s shoulder. The blush that had spread across his cheeks faded.

“I did,” he said, aiming for casual, “Y’know, it’s pretty simple. You just yank off the covers and hop out. Or fall off in this morning's case.”

Emile gave him a look.

“Yeah. It is simple. Doesn’t mean it's easy,” Emile said, with that wisdom he seemed to always carry and spew out. Damn emotional intelligence.

Remy did drop his arm this time, pulling it away from Emile.

Emile frowned and opened his mouth, but didn’t get the opportunity to say anything more as they made it to the front of the line.

Remy moved forward quickly and ordered for himself. When he was done, he went to order for Emile like he always did, but stopped when he realized that Emile hadn’t actually told him what he wanted this time.

See, Remy always ordered for Emile. Emile’s anxiety made it harder for him to talk to strangers, especially when it involved ordering or asking for something. It was certainly something Emile was capable of doing, and something he sometimes insisted on doing just so that he knew he still could, but it was also something he generally preferred not to do. Remy had no such issues and so Emile would tell him what he wanted and Remy would order for them both.

But Emile hadn't gotten the chance to tell him what he wanted. Remy could guess, but he hated to do that when Emile was right here and could choose what he wanted himself. He hated to assume, even if he was usually pretty spot on. Knowing Emile for such a long time made it pretty easy at this point.

The worker was looking at them now, as Remy’s pause went on for a touch too long.

“Emile?” Remy asked.

“Oh, uh,” the other boy stuttered, before rattling his own order off.

They didn’t really speak until they had left the shop and continued on their way to the grocery store.

“Earlier,” Emile started, “I know you can get out of bed. I wasn’t trying to- I dunno- mock you or something. I just know that it can be hard for you- that it was hard this morning. I-” he shrugged, “I’m not proud of you because that’s just-” he wrinkled his nose up, “That’s not something for me to be proud of, but you… You should be proud of yourself.”

Remy sighed and reached out to clutch Emile’s hand.

“I know,” he agreed, “It’s just that…” he sighed, and the fog in his brain continued to swirl around, “Thank you,” he said instead and worked on trying to maybe take Emile’s words to heart. The swirling didn’t seem to like it, but it could fuck off because he was going to buy little mini pumpkins with his- his Emile and it was going to be great.

Emile squeezed his hand.

“Pumpkins?” Remy offered, and Emile just smiled and nodded in return.

They didn’t have the time to decorate their apartment with all the little pumpkins they bought because they were starting to run late for morning skate. So they left the clump on the small table in the main room before getting ready and heading towards practice.

As they did so, a little foreign weight dropped in Remy’s stomach. It wasn’t like the fog. It was more like dread. It was starting to become a familiar feeling whenever practice and games approached. Remy absolutely hated it. Plus, morning skate wasn’t even really practice, it was just to get them moving so why the hell did Remy feel this way?

He enjoyed hockey. He did. He really really did.

(Just maybe not lately).

But he ignored the feeling, as well as the concerned look from Emile and headed out the door. They had morning skate to attend.

It wasn’t until late evening that they were both home at the same time.

The moment Remy walked through the doors he wrestled Emile away from his studying because come on Em, you can take ten minutes to decorate the apartment. Emile relented, standing to give a soft kiss on Remy’s jaw, and moved towards the pumpkins from earlier. Remy absolutely did not blush whatsoever and followed.

“Remy,” Emile commented once they were finishing up, “Are you- Are you doing alright lately?”

The fog buzzed louder.

Remy let out a weak chuckle.

“I’m always doing alright,” he said.

Emile just gave him a look.

“No really,” Remy insisted, even as a lump formed in his throat, “I’m- I mean. I’m okay. Uh- this morning was hard. Today wasn’t- wasn’t the best. I can tell this year isn’t going to be the best. But yeah, yeah Em I’m okay. I promise.”

Emile’s worry dropped a bit but didn’t fade completely.

“Okay,” he said, “I- You’ve just seemed more stressed lately. Uh- with Logan-” Emile swallowed and Remy squeezed his eyes tight for a second, “With Logan… out. I mean, it’s a lot more on you.”

“I’ve been Starter before,” Remy said gently.

“Yeah. I know.”

Because Remy had been Starter before. But not- not like this. Never like this before. And they both knew it.

“It is more,” Remy admitted, “But it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Emile said, and let it rest.

What Remy didn’t say was that it wasn’t the extra games, extra playtime that was getting to him.

It was the team’s faces.

It was how they went into games expecting to lose and Roman and Patton couldn’t agree on a single thing and Remus was getting reckless again and even Deceit was joining him and Virgil just seemed off and the fans hated that Remy was taking Logan’s place because it was Logan’s place and sure Remy was good but he wasn’t Logan good and they all knew it and it wasn’t even a bad thing but it did mean that even playing his best Remy knew he was letting his team down, letting Logan down, letting himself down.

But it wasn’t the playtime.

Oh no, it was so much more than just the playtime.

The fog expanded, pushing down and back on Remy’s brain, encoating him in a layer of discontentment and hopelessness and misery.

Remy sighed. He set the last pumpkin down.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed,” he said.

Emile nodded. He usually checked the clock when Remy announced he was retiring for the night, making sure that it hadn’t gotten too late yet. But he didn’t bother this time. They both knew it was still much too early for either of them to be sleeping.

“Okay,” Emile said, and smiled, but it didn't quite stretch across his face like it usually did, “I have work to do still, but I’ll join you in awhile.”

“Okay,” Remy agreed.

And they both stood there staring at each other.

Then, suddenly, Emile lurched forward and grasped Remy tightly, clutching the taller boy in a tight hug. Startled, but not about to deny the hug, Remy gripped back, just as tight.

He didn’t start to cry, but it was close.

“Love you,” Emile said.

“Love you too,” Remy responded, voice muffled from where his head was buried in Emile’s neck and trying not to cry.

With that, he headed off to bed.

Later, Emile would slip in next to him, acting in a rare occasion as the big spoon. That next morning would be a little bit easier and three mornings after that would be a little bit harder. Remy would continue to get out of bed.

Hockey would continue and Logan wouldn’t return and tensions on the team would get worse. Through all of it, Remy would be caught in the absolute worse position as Logan’s replacement.

But for now, Remy would go to bed early, fog pressing down, harsh and unforgiving, but still much softer than the upcoming storm. Because that’s really all this was, wasn’t it? The calm before the storm.

~~~

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

Text

January 2020 Picks

And we’re back!!! Been watching a lot of great stuff recently that I’m excited to chat about. These are just a few of highlights. I’m not 100% caught up on the Arrowverse shows yet, but did enjoy the Crisis a lot-especially after the second watch through. Check out my full review on that here: https://talesofafangirlwithadvr.tumblr.com/post/190372384413/crisis-on-infinite-earths-reactions

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

ANNE WITH AN E

This 3rd season was my FAVORITE so far, which makes it even more depressing that this is the end. I watched it the fastest and even stayed up till 1 AM to finish the series after watching four straight episodes. (Normally I try to space out bingeing stuff because I don’t want it to end so fast.) This series has always taken liberties with the source material to make it even more relevant to today, but I especially felt that during this season. It did not feel forced one bit. From Bash losing Mary and overcoming being a minority in Avonlea to Ka’kwet’s story line that brings me to tears every time I think about it-especially because she made it ALL the way home just to be taken back. Would love to believe she’s back with her parents, but the ending this season doesn’t show it. Perhaps they were thinking about pursuing it more if there was a 4th season. Josie Pye’s assault was a nice commentary on the Me too movement as well as the Human Rights and Women’s Rights march. I’m so happy Matthew survived this series! I was so worried for him. (As readers know he dies at the end of Anne of Green Gables the novel. Most adaptations often keep it in and I am happy we diverted from the original this time.) Jerry and Diana were adorable at the start, but Jerry deserves so much more! (He got SO TALL! As I often remarked while watching this season.) I absolutely loved the boy craziness this season because they were “Now 16!” Tillie balancing two guys! Ruby’s crush on Moody was super cute. I loved when Anne was forced to ask Gilbert about having babies by the girls. THE STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS!! (applause) 1) Mrs. Stacy: as a widower she will not settle for just anyone to marry. 2) Prissy Andrews: I really like that they brought her character back up and that she attended college. So sad that Billy will still be the head of her family. 3) Diana gets to go to Queens (a change from the novel as well, but one that was a great choice). I really liked her chat with Aunt Josephine. 4) Of course Anne Shirley. There’s so much to say about Anne, but one of the things I really liked this season was getting insight into her own personal family history. Seeing her mom’s book at the end was very touching. I love that she also had red hair. Last thoughts: Delphine is the CUTEST BABY EVER! Seriously a fantastic actress. Her relationship with every person in the show was amazing. And of course my beloved Shirbert. I knew they were endgame (because of the source material), but BOY did they take their time getting there). Screw Winnie! Anne and Gilbert’s relationship hurt my heart throughout it all, but so many adorable moments between them proving they are meant to be. Forever my OTP!

SANDITON

I am seriously feeling the period pieces this month (but then again when am I not). As a HUGE Jane Austen fan I was extremely excited when I heard that her unfinished novel, Sanditon, would be adapted for the TV screen. Because I was unfamiliar with the story (which is always a fun time when one of your favorite authors has been dead for the past few hundred years) I made sure to add the novel to the top of my 2020 list. Due to its length I was able to finish it before the series started a few weeks ago. While I was not a huge fan of the unfinished novel, because I found it difficult to connect with any of the characters or see where the story was headed, I already feel differently about the mini-series. By the end of episode 1 I was already hooked and very happy that PBS aired the second episode immediately afterwards. I can see parallels to Austen’s work as well as echoes to other Austen novels (naturally Pride and Prejudice). When listening to the Masterpiece podcast in which they interview Rose Williams (who plays Charlotte Heywood) she described Charlotte as a cross between Elizabeth Bennet and Catherine Morland (from Northanger Abbey), which I think is really accurate. I like how Charlotte goes to Sanditon because of her interest in seeing this place that Tom Parker gets so excited about. She honestly isn’t looking for a husband, but rather an occupation. Something different away from her farm. Is romance involved? You betcha. This is an Austen adaptation afterall. But that is not her main focus. There’s so many other things going on with the story, but I’d have to dedicate a complete other post to explain it all. I really feel it is fitting in well with other classic book to screen adaptations coming out right now like Little Women and Anne with an E. If you’re a fan of either one then Sanditon is worth a try. And of course if you love Jane Austen and the 1995 Andrew Davies adaptation (he’s producing this one as well) then it’s worth a shot!

THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE-SEASON 4

Just like with Anne with an E, I think this was my favorite season of The Man in the High Castle (and ironically also the last season. Although this series knew that going in to production). It held my interest very well and I watched it faster than the previous season. I really don’t think I’ve been this invested since season 1. Lots of new characters were introduced and while I missed some of the old it just shows you how much this show has developed. I also felt myself liking the new characters really fast. At first all of the multi-verse stuff was pretty intense and a little hard to follow, but it got easier as the show went on-EXPECT FOR THE END! Were all those people coming through because their worlds were much worse? What happens next? How are the Smith children? Amy and the other students who were brainwashed-will they change? Kido will stay. Did Childan find Kikuko? (Loved their relationship btw. I’m going to believe they got to be together in the end. It will make me sleep easier.) I was constantly saying to myself: How are they going to wrap this up in only 4 episodes...3...2...etc.. But I feel like it could have been a bit stronger. Despite this I still am a big fan of this season. I just get picky when it comes to series finales.

DOCTOR WHO

Last I had posted about Doctor Who I was very behind. Like I only watched last year’s holiday special this year behind. It was just tough for me to get into last season. I’ve really enjoyed Jodie Whitaker’s take on the Doctor. I feel she brings a new energy, but at the same time reminds me of the way Tennant and Smith portrayed the role. It’s just that I missed some of the familiarity of the show. It’s always hard getting a new Doctor because the show takes on a different feeling, but with all new villains, companions, TARDIS, etc it was tough. I wanted a couple more old references. I also didn’t love all of the episodes (although a bunch of them were really good: Rosa Parks, Demons of the Punjab, Kerblam! to name a few). So when I watched last year’s special at the beginning of the month I felt I zoned out a bit. However, Spyfall (parts 1 & 2) that kicked off this season were entertaining and I’ve been hearing good stuff about this season so far. Now that the show is on its second season with these characters, I’ve heard there’s more of a rhythm. I can’t wait to continue. I also can’t wait to see these guys again:

PLUS I discovered a HUGE spoiler about last week’s episode that honestly that has honestly gotten me so pumped; it is the main reason why I am catching up faster. (I won’t spoil it here if you still don’t know it. I foresee I’ll probably write an article just about that episode.)

VIOLETTA

My guilty pleasure that I have been bingeing on Disney+. This musical telenovela from Buenos Aires has three seasons of 80 episodes a piece! (That’s right I have my work cut out for me.) Currently only the first season is up on Disney+ and the show is pretty hard to find, so I am really hoping that by the time I finish it they release at least the second season. I only started it in the new year and am already on episode 42, so you can say I’m enjoying it... :) Basically once I hit 30 I was hooked. (Although I was enjoying it a lot before that, now I’m just more obsessed.) There are several characters in the show from the students, to the teachers and family members, but the main character is Violetta who has lived in many different countries all her life with her dad who is a very successful businessman. She has been home-schooled forever due to their lifestyle and because of her dad’s worry that she will be hurt in the real world. Her mother was a popular singer who died when Violetta was very little that she barely remembers her. When they move back home she secretly gets enrolled in a music school that her mom just so happened to attend. Her tutor is secretly her aunt (who no one recognizes because Violetta’s dad told her that her mom had no relatives) and she has to hide attending the music school and singing which is her ultimate dream. That’s just the basics because there is so much more drama in the series. Lots of lying, deceit, love triangles that just won’t quit, ridiculousness and music. While they repeat a lot of the same songs, many of them are quite good and really catchy that you can’t help but get them stuck in your head. My sister (who loves this show) kept talking about it and that made me want to watch once we got Disney+ (she was lucky to watch two seasons when it was still on Netflix). As she said to me, you should watch it in the original language, which is Spanish with English subtitles. I feel like I’m learning more Spanish while watching it. Probably be fluent by the end (ha ha ha ha-not really).

So, what are your favorites of this month? Are we watching any of the same things? Anything look interesting to check out? Let me know!

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lemonadeswift · 4 years

Text

Luca 17 Months: Merry Christmas Baby!

“Merry Christmas sweetheart,” Chris whispered to Luca as he clung on to him. He kissed his cheek and looked up at the sky as the snow fell. The nieces and nephews had made a Snowman in the front yard and were now running around with Dodger and throwing snowballs.

“Do you see the snow? Yeah? It’s pretty isn’t it, you can catch it on your tongue if you open your mouth. See...” He tipped his head back and opened his mouth letting the flurries fall and melt on his tongue. He looked at Luca who stared at him for a moment before copying him with a smile. He giggled as he felt the snow on his face and Chris grinned as he watched the 17 month old. Luca then wiggled in his arms trying to get down out of Chris’s grip. He slowly let him. His feet touching the ground before he sunk up to his waist in snow. His eyes widened and Chris laughed again as Luca reached back up to him.

“You want me to carry you again? Okay, yeah, the snow is pretty high right now,” Chris pulled him out of the snow. Brushing off the excess snow that had stuck to Luca from the uncovered parts of his snow to keep him from being too cold.

Suddenly Dodger came bounding over to them, his tail waging an butt wiggling in the air as he crouched and panted happily before starting to hop around again. Throwing snow as he leapt and barked. Luca giggled in Chris’s ear again softly

“Dogger!”

“Yes! It’s Dodger, hey bubba, how you doing? You having fun? Here, go fetch,” Chris picked up a stick that was sticking out of the snow and threw it. Dodger barked and ran after it, the end of his cable knit sweater flying up after him as he ran. It had been a cute gift from Scott and Dodger actually seemed to like it.

Luca made a noise finally and pointed over to the fort that Miles, Ethan, and Stella were making.

“Oh you want to make the fort? Well we will have to ask them if that’s okay,” the fort was being built on a space of ground that had been shoveled where the snow wasn’t as high. Chris came up to the kids and grinned,

“Uncle Chris!” Stella said, standing up with a huge smile of her own on her face,

“Hey munchkin, what are you guys doing?”

“Making a fort!”

“That’s so cool! Do you think I’ll fit?” Stela’s face fell.

“I’m sorry, I think you’re going to be too big,”

“Aw, that’s alright, what about Luca? Will he fit? I think he’s pretty interested in what you guys are doing,” Chris slowly let Luca down. He was still getting used to walking but he was steady enough.

“Luca! Hi Luca!” Stella stood up and hugged him in her tiny puffy jacketed arms.

“Stewwa,” Luca giggled as she patted his head.

“Come on, you can help us build,” she said. Taking his hand and leading him over to where they had snow piled up. They were packing snowballs together and building them up before packing snow between the snowballs as well. Ryan made his way around. Smoothing the walls of the fort together.

She sat down with Luca. Luca on his bottom and herself on her knees she tried to show him how to make snowballs. But Luca, as little as he was, wasn’t really getting it. In the end Stella just smiled and let Luca dig around in the snow as she went back to helping build the fort. Occasionally Luca would try to hand her snow and she’d smile and take it and carefully add it somewhere, making Luca happily kick out his legs to see he was helping.

“Daddy!” Luca shouted when Sebastian finally emerged from the Evans household.

Seasonal/Holiday depression had hit the younger man hard this year. But a genuine smile spread across his face at the sight of his baby boy waving to him, covered in snow, with a little read nose and the happiest of expressions on his face.

“Hi bean! How you doing bud? Are you having fun with papa and your cousins?” Luca nodded before gesturing for Sebastian to come over. With a mittened hand and another call of “Daddy!” Sebastian looked around to see Chris’s second pair of snow boots on the porch he slipped his unsocked feet into them and began to trudge out into the snow. Chris was half paying attention to Luca while the other half of his attention was spent on throwing a stick back and forth for dodger to fetch, but he caught Sebastian’s eye and gave him a grin as he watched him trudge out into the snow in pajama pants with his grandmothers hand knitted afghan thrown over his shoulders to keep his thinly clad torso warm as he went to attend to their child.

“Hey bean, what are you doing?” Sebastian asked with a half forced smile.

Luca gestured to slight hole in the snow he’d dug and the fort that he was halfway inside of.

“Oh, are you helping with the fort?”

“No!” Luca said with glee in his eyes, again getting his “no’s” and “yes’s” mixed up. But Sebastian knew what he meant and he reached forward to ruffle his Pom Pom beanie.

“I think you mean yes, and that’s wonderful! You’re doing such a good job!”

“He is!” Stella piped in as she took more snow from the pile Luca had begun to form on his own. Luca clapped as he noticed her using the snow he’d gathered and Sebastian felt his heart warm at the laughter and the kindness the older cousins were showing their youngest.

“Alright, well I think Uncle Scott is about to come out so finish up with the fort so you guys can go sledding!”

“Sledding!” Ethan gasped! Jumping up and down.

“Yup!”

“Uncle Seb! Will you sled with us!” Miles asked.

“Yeah! Uncle Seb please! That would be so much fun! You didn’t play in the snow yet!” Stella said.

“Come on Luca, lets beg your dad to sled with us, can you say please with me and make the face I taught you?” Stella asked. She made a face, making her eyes go big and sticking her lip out. It was a puppy dog face if Sebastian had ever seen one. Luca looked over at her and then mimicked her expression.

“PleaSe Uncle Seb!”

“Pwease!” Luca repeated. And as much as Sebastian felt completely drained, he couldn’t say no to those faces and pleas.

“Alright. Just for a little while. But it will take me a few minutes to get ready so you’ll have to hold on.”

Luca is secured between Sebastian’s legs and Sebastian is secured between Chris’s they’ve all got their winter gear on and Sebastian is smiling for the first time in a few days. His heart is light as he holds on to Luca and talks down at him gently.

“Alright bean, hold on tight. We’re about to go down the hill!” Scott, Ryan, and Carly are all behind them ready to push them off. They count down from three and on one they push. The sled starts out down the tall hill slowly before gaining momentum. Chris’s scarf flies in the wind behind him and Sebastian vocalizes “wheeee!” To Luca as they fly down the hill the hill levels out and they skid to a stop on the embankment laughing. Even Luca is giggling happily.

“Did you like that bean? Do you want to go again?”

“Yay!” Luca says throwing his hands up adorably.

“Alright we can go again,” Chris tells him. Both parents smile down at their little boy who’s happy and bouncing with excitement between them. Chris gets the sled and Sebastian has Luca and together they traipse back up the hill.

It’s a little while before Luca gets to go again because Sebastian gets roped into sledding down the hill a few times with the other kids along with Scott and then down at the bottom a snowball fight starts when Miles throws a snowball at Sebastian’s back as he’s picking up the sled. Sebastian stands. His shoulders straightening as a smirk crosses his lips as he turns around, he grins widely as he bends down to pack his own snowball together. Miles squeals as he begins to runaway and then as Scott, Ethan, and Stella arrive at the bottom of the hill they join.

At the top of the hill Luca makes a noise and points down at where he knows his daddy is and where his cousins’s look like they’re having fun.

“Not now honey, that’s a little advanced for you. But we can go sled again when they bring them back up, do you wanna go back and play in the fort? Let’s go play in the fort.”

Chris let Luca down on the shallow snow again and he happily padded his way into the fort on hands and knees. He peered our the other side, calling out

“Papa!” Chris leaned over the fort and grinned

“I see you!” He said. Luca giggled and retreated into the fort again before saying, “Papa!” Again.

“Oh no, where’d you go?! I can’t see you!” Chris got down on his own hands and knees and peered into the fort.

“There you are! I’m gonna get you!” Chris reaches into the fort and Luca squeals crawling away from him quickly.

“Oh, no you don’t you little rascal!” Chris reaches in and grabs Luca by the foot. Gently dragging him out of the fort and then lifting him up with the utmost of care into an upside down position. He held him up in the air upside down. His hat falling off and hood coming to cover his head instead.

“I got you! I got you bean!” Chris dips Luca as he’s still screaming with laughter. His cheeks flushed red and wide smile on his face, he dips him, pretending he’s gonna drop him before grabbing him around the back and lifting him back up right.

“Christopher!” He hears an outraged voice. He turns to see a wide eyed Sebastian coming towards him.

“What the hell! You almost gave me a heart attack! Luca!”

“Oh come on, he’s fine. I was careful.” Sebastian sighed,

“You know I don’t like it when you do that with him,” Chris gave his husband a raised eyebrow.

“Come on, loosen up a bit, I wouldn’t ever let something bad happen to him,”

“Not on purpose you wouldn’t. I just don’t want anything to happen to him. I love this precious little one with all my heart. Yes I do, I love you Luca. You ready to sled again?” At the word “sled” Luca reached out eagerly for Sebastian.

After four more rides down the hill and one more short ride halfway down the hill by himself, building a snowman and crawling through the fort a few more times it was finally time to go inside. The snow clad individuals all trampled back into Mama Evans’s house where she had hot chocolate and Christmas cookies waiting for them. Two at a time people took showers. The youngest two kids, Stella and Luca took a bath to warm up together while Chris and Sebastian both took a quick shower together to warm up before letting Scott and his boyfriend at it. Miles and Ethan forwent their shower and bath for now. Deciding to warm up with blankets instead.

Chris’s dad arrived with his wife and kids a sack of gifts for all the grandkids. Chris was the first to wrap his father in a warm hug and Luca was the first to run up to him on stubby legs to cling to him shouting

“Grapaw!!!!”

“Hey there squirt, how have you been?!” Bob said, picking up Luca and setting him on his hip. Luca didn’t answer but he grinned at him. Everyone’s hellos were said before Lisa came in and called people for help with getting dinner together. Sebastian went willingly with a kiss to Chris’s cheek along with Scott’s boyfriend and Carly, Stella, and Jean, Chris’s step mother.

Chris and his dad and brother headed into the living room. Luca on Chris’s lap, Luca pointed to the table where brightly decorated cookies were. His teeth were still coming in but these were pretty soft so Chris picked one up and broke off a piece for him. Luca took it eagerly kicking his legs in Chris’s lap.

“He’s so precious,” Lisa’s voice came from the entrance of the kitchen. Luca looked up and grinned a toothy smile.

“Yes I’m talking about you bud, you’re such a cutie pie, do you wanna come to grandma?” Lisa came over and held her arms out to him. Luca looked at Chris, and Chris just smiled and nodded to him. Luca then reached for his grandma and Lisa took him into her arms. Fake grunting as she picked him up.

“You’re getting so big lovebug, come on let’s go set the table, we’ll get you some juice.”

“Uice!” Luca said throwing his hands up. Chris just shook his head before turning to the TV where Tom Brady was doing a special on the decade in football.

Dinner was served and the family split off into the dining room and the kitchen table. The house wasn’t big enough for them to all eat at one table but they’d all get to talk in the basement later. Meatballs from Shanna, and Beef Braciole compliments of his mom as well as an egg plant and green bean dish, a cheesy potato casserole from Jean, and hand baked bread from Carly and her kids were passed around both tables. Wine was poured and Luca reached for Sebastian’s as he accidentally left it in reach, quick reflexes kept the baby from getting a hold of it as laughter chorused around the table.

“Nope, not for you. You’ve got juice!” Luca pouted adorably but soon got over it and dug into his plate of shredded meatball and mashed up potatoes. Sebastian tore the crunchy crust off a piece of the bread and handed Luca the soft inner part to eat as well. The whole table was in high spirits as jokes, friendly jibes, and stories from the year and decade gone past went around. Sebastian’s heart only twinged once or twice as he was pulled from the conversation momentarily. Missing his mother and Christmas’s gone by with her. He never could have foreseen the day when she wouldn’t be in his life by choice. He shook his head and took another bite of his own food trying to to be spiteful, it was Christmas. But it was so Damn hard sometimes. Chris noticed from where he sat on the other side of Luca and he reached behind the ravenously eating tike to rub Sebastian’s shoulder.

“You okay?” He mouthed.

“I will be,” Sebastian mouthed back with a shrug. It tore Chris up inside to know that the holidays had been ruined for Sebastian. He just hoped his own family would help and eventually heal as much of that hurt as they could as years passed. Sebastian might have lost his own mother but in the process he’d gained a whole slew of people who loved him just the same. Including his own mother.

“Daddy?” Luca said, turning to Sebastian and holding out a piece of meat.

“Oh, wow, thank you for sharing,” Sebastian said as he softly smiled. Crows feet crinkling at the corner of his eyes as he leant down and let Luca feed him. Luca giggled at the feeling of Sebastian’s stubble against his soft baby hands and to make him smile more Sebastian pretended to eat his hand. “Om nom nom,” he said before leaning in to kiss Lucas cheek as he laughed. Carly watched them across the table with a fond smile.

“He’s just too cute. I remember when Stella was that age,” she sighed.

“Uh oh, baby fever again? Are you and Ryan gonna try for another?”

“God no, at least we have no plans to. I’m old now,” Carly laughed. Chris just nodded with a shrug,

“I’ll just steal your adorable little cutie to get some baby time in, what do you think about that Luc? You wanna spend some time with me?” Luca nodded his head and Carly laughed. Not sure if Luca knew what he was agreeing to but it made her happy.

After a few more minutes of sitting and chatting the clean up began. All the guys who didn’t help set up dinner decided to clear it up, shoeing Lisa and Carly our of the kitchen with compliments about the food and assurances since they made it, it was time for them to rest. It only took a little fight before they gave in and went to rest with wine and the glow of the tree in the living room.

It was almost time for gifts. Chris went out to their car and got the bag of gifts for everyone and came back in through the basement to set things up under the second tree. He met Sebastian and Luca back upstairs. Luca was happily playing with his MegaBlocks set he’d received earlier that morning with Lisa, Jean, and Miles. They were building small towers and letting Luca stomp them down like a dinosaur. He was having the time of his life as he giggled and fell into Lisa’s lap. She hugged him and kissed the back of his head as she rubbed his back.

“Mom,” Chris said, he gave her a nod, “Everything is ready,” he said. Lisa smiled and nodded back.

“Alright everyone! Time to go down stairs!”

“PRESENTS!” All of the children shouted at once. Jumping to their feet from whatever they were doing. The parents all laughed. Especially Sebastian and Chris because while the others who were older were all excited Luca just looked confused. Chris picked him up, ready to head down stairs.

“You ready for presents buddy? You know what we did this morning at our house. When Santa came to visit? You got all those new toys, well guess what? There’s MORE! And this time they’re from grandma and grandpa and your uncles and aunties,”

“Play?” Luca asked.

“Yeah, you’ll get to play with them, let’s go, we don’t want to miss it!”

When they arrived downstairs the kids were all vibrating from excitement. Ethan, Stella, Miles, and Chris’s step siblings Scarlett, Delilah, and Max all stood waiting very impatiently for gifts. Luca pointed over to them and Chris let him down so he could join them. Stella and Delilah both welcomed him into the fold. Patting his head and taking his hand. Lisa smiled as she took her place in the middle of the massive pile of gifts by the tree.

“Alright is everyone ready?” She asked. Looking around the full basement of eager eyes and flushed happy faces.

“Well, where should we start. This gift wrap is pretty let’s start here,” she said looking at a holographic blue and silver snowflake patterned gift wrap.

“This first one is for Scott, from Shanna, Shanna, amazing gift wrap where’d you get it?”

“Thanks, I got it from Walmart,” she answered with a smile,

“Scott hold on, we’re gonna do three at a time like always so it doesn’t take forever but so we can still see what people get! The next one is for Stella!” She said with excitement holding out a small gift box with the same paper but an added silver bow on top. Stella grabbed it with bright eyes. Luca looked at it as well with curiosity.

“And this last one is for- oh it’s for me, let’s choose a different one for now, I’ll open mine later, hm, Chris! This one is for you.” Chris came forward to take his gift with a smile and a thank you to Shanna.

“Alright, on the count of three open! 1, 2, 3!” Paper tore immediately with excitement. Chris unwrapped a new Fruit Ninja, since he’d recently burnt his out when the whole house had short circuited, Stella received a 20k Gold heart locket with a rose etched in the center and Scott received a new sweater from Banana Republic. The next round of gifts given were still from Shanna but to other members of the family. Luca got his in the third round and Sebastian came over to help him open it. Everyone properly oohed and ahed for him as he opened a slinky dog from Toy Story that was also on wheels. As it moved its tail and tongue wagged. Luca was immediately taken with it.

“Tank you!!!” He said running to Shanna and hugging her around the legs. It was adorable.

Sebastian got his gift in the last round of gifts from Shanna and he was surprised at how thoughtful it was. It was a Christmas ornament from Shakespeare’s Global Theater in London where he’d studied. He and Shanna had a long conversation about it before she’d been invited to take a summer class on costuming earlier that year and he was touched that she’d thought to bring him something back.

The second round of gifts was passed out and it came to Luca’s turn. Lisa kneed over to a large box, searching for a gift tag and with a smile she said “oh this one is for Luca!” Sebastian and Chris shared a look with one and other wondering what on earth Scott had gotten for the one and a half year old that was so big. It was literally Massive, he didn’t even know how they’d gotten it in the door or down the stairs of the basement. Unless they’d brought it in through the basement doors. Which was also a possibility.

“Luca do you want to come over and unwrap your present?” Lisa asked. Luca looked up from where he was playing with yet another mega block set. (They were Lucas favorite toys and he wanted more to be able to build bigger things)

“Yeah bud, you’ve got another gift do you want to come open it?” Luca looked over at his dads and Sebastian stood,

“You want some help come on,” Sebastian reaches out a hand to Luca who takes it and toddles over to his large gift.

“Okay, go on, you can open it!”

“Big” Luca says instead of opening it.

“It is big isn’t it! I wonder what it could be! Come on, let’s open it!”

Slowly Sebastian began tearing away the paper and as he did Luca joined him quickly ripping it off with no abandon. As they finished revealing it the room went up into polite oohs and ahhs while Luca kind of just stood there waiting for more guidance from his dad,

“Wow! Luca! Look at this! It’s a play set! With a slide and a cubby and a little climbing wall! Oh my goodness you’re gonna have so much fun with this once it gets a little warmer. Say thank you to Uncle Scott!”

“Slide?” Luca questioned, Sebastian pointed to the picture of the slide part on the package and nodded.

“Yes! It’s got s slide!” Sebastian enthused back. Luca laughed happily and clapped.

“Yay yay yay!” He said. Sebastian smiled at his happiness.

“I know it’s gonna be so much fun!” He ruffled his hair. Luca then stood from where he’d plopped back on his bottom to take in the size of the box and ran to Scott, he threw his arms around Scott’s legs and said “tank you tank you tank you!” He was still jumping up and down when he pulled away. Scott picked him up and hugged him close.

“Oh of course, you’re welcome little dude,” Chris grinned from where he stood leaning against the back of the armchair his dad was sitting in over at his brother who caught his eye with a nod. That was Uncle Scott always winning Christmas since the first nephew had been born and old enough to appreciate it.

Each family member got an average of 8-10 gifts overall. Aside from the little kids, who all got more courtesy of grandma and grandpa. Some of the favorites were a Cricut/Cricket Machine for Carly from Chris, and a case full of Vinyls and various objects to use it with from Sebastian. A double all expense paid Alaskan trip to Denali National Park to Scott and Lisa from Chris. A set of limited edition Leonard Cohen Vinyls from Carly to Sebastian. A Star Wars LEGO DeathStar kit from Bob to Miles. And a Jojo Siwa Bow Maker to Stella from Lisa. Chris and Sebastian were also surprised by Lisa when she presented them with an ornate hand carved door plaque that read “Evans Residence” with their address carved in small letters along the oval base and the date of 2018, when they’d moved in there, above it.

“Thanks mom, this is really beautiful.”

“It was nothing, more fun for me to make than for you to hang up probably!” She laughed. Both men went in for a hug from her.

Out of everyone Luca had been showered with the most gifts. Even the little cousins had banded together to get their newest little cousin something. From them he’d gotten a “zoo basket” a plush basket filled with other various plush animals from all around like a parrot, a tiger, a monkey, a elephant, the regular cat and dog, a mouse, a whale, and even an octopus and squid. There were at least 50 mini animal plushies that came with the soft basket. It would be a great learning tool down the line. Lica also got various puzzles, finger paints and glitter glue, bathtub crayons, an Elmo plushie that said “I love you” and a few other phrases. A sand table with sand for outside, a bathtub boat, some new clothes and shoes and a really big triceratops plush that he fell in love with on sight from his grandpa and step grandma. He squealed with excitement as he tried to pick up the plush and show Chris and Sebastian.

“Daddy!” He squeaked.

“I know buddy! It’s so cool! And so big! You’re gonna have lots of fun with that!” Luca nodded before turning back to it and hugging it around its neck.

After presents it was time for desert. Chocolate chess pie, apple pie, brownies, Christmas cookies, and hot chocolate were all options. Everyone got their desert and spread out across the living room and dining room. Chattering with each other about different things as the kids played by the tree with their new toys.

Luca, however had decided the box to one of his toys was more interesting and kept calling out “Daddy!” Before sliding the box back over his head in attempt to hide. Sebastian humored him, looking over before furrowing his brow and saying “what? Hm. I thought someone said my name, guess not,“ before Luca would giggle and reveal himself “here I am!”

“Oh there you-“ Sebastian was cut off when Luca dropped the box over his head again. “Oh no! Where’d you go!” After a few minutes of this Sebastian sets his cup of hot coco down and makes his way over to Luca who’s dropped the box over his head and is giggling again.

“Where’s Luca? Where did he go?” Luca pears out from under the box and squeals happily falling back onto the carpet as he sees his daddy’s face right there in front of him. Sebastian laughs.

“I found him! Here’s my little Luca bean, I got you! I got you, I got you I got you, and I’m never gonna let you go!” He says as he picks Luca up in a cradle hold and gives him a raspberry on the tummy before kissing him all over his face as he swivels Luca back and forth in his arms.

The whole family have stopped talking to take in the adorable scene. Sebastian sets Luca up right and Luca grasps his cheeks gently,

#luca evans #sebastian stan x chris evans #evanstan

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slasherscream · 5 years

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poly billy and stu celebrating holidays with their s/o?? from birthdays (theirs) valentine's day, christmas, etc love your blog sm!! it's my favourite 🤩🤩

A/N: anon this is such a cute idea thank you for sending it in.

billy loomis x reader x stu macher

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Let’s start with the top’s birthday. So Billy? He is an iconic mix of bitch and bastard. Meaning that he is absolutely pretending to hate his birthday. Or at least is exaggerating on the point of how much he wants “everyone” to forget about it. Because … and I mean this ….god help you if Stu and you ever forget or listen to him when he says “don’t do anything”. It would be a fucking nightmare of which you would never wake if you both did this.

Luckily Stu already made this mistake one year before y'all were all together and he knows. The first year you’re together Billy is going through his regular shtick of bullshit. You pull Stu aside privately later and ask, “so are we doing anything for his birthday or are we listening to Billy.”

Stu gets….the most distant far-off look in his eyes. Like he’s a man that’s come back from war and just got drafted again. He’s never grabbed your shoulders harsher, “We have to do something he’s lying.“

So you do something. The good part about Billy’s birthday is he’s actually not hard to please. Start the day off right with an acknowledgement. So you do a movie night the day before. This way when midnight hits you can pause Halloween and he will almost start yelling at you before you guys whip out obnoxious colored party-horns and start trying to blow them to the beat of Happy Birthday. He is rolling his eyes but deeply pleased as he was already contemplating ….revenge of some sort at 11:55 (please god make Billy chill out for one day).

He is not lying about not wanting anything big though. He really only wants to celebrate with you and Stu. Don’t throw him a party. He won’t be mad per-say but he won’t be like pumped or anything. Will end the party early or will make you and Stu sneak off with him. This is #His Day and the focus will be #On Him.

His Mom used to make him a cake every year and Stu, as his life-long best friend (and now boyfriend), totally remembers the tradition. He's just not capable of baking or cooking. But he tells you and hopes you can do it and you can (if you're bad at baking too let's just imagine with you and Stu both working hard you can...achieve....something). Surprising Billy with the cake would make him feel #Soft.

Honestly he's spending the whole day acting tough and pretending he barely wants to do anything but?? He loves it and loves that you're both 100% focused on him and making him happy. He's just a brat. But ignore him while he's scoffing about you guys both kissing his cheeks at the same time he's having the time of his life. He just wants to cuddle and watch movies and for no one to go anywhere.

If you want to go Big for Him one year or something the best thing you could do is put Rich Boy Stu's money to good use and get him autographed shit from Horror Icons. Or original props from movies. He'll lose his fuCKING MIND. Finally breaks his lame "cool guy" act for 0.5 seconds.

Stu doesn't play hard to get and he doesn't play mind-games (with you and Billy, that is). Y'all know damn well he wants a big fuss made about his special day. He also wants a big party. It's super easy to make him happy on his birthday if you just remember that unlike Billy he wants this to be as over the top as fucking possible.

Wake him up with breakfast in bed screaming happy birthday at the top of your lungs and he jumps up like a kid on Christmas Morning. Yes....this is #His Day....pay attention to HIM.

Give him lots of presents! He's easy to buy for! New clothes. Stupid jewelry. Horror shit. New voice changer box. He just likes receiving gifts. They don't have to be expensive ...just have him open a lot of packages and he'll love it.

Do a surprise birthday party. It's not a surprise in any way at all but watching his face light up when he walks into his fucking house at the end of the day and half the highschool pops out like "surprise!!" is so fucking worth all the hassle that you and Billy have to smile at each other.

Billy has thrown him parties before but they're more of just...huge get-together’s. Like highschool(TM) parties where you're too cool to decorate. You? Not a pussy. You deck out the whole house and Stu loses his fucking mind. Knows you are the cause of this and kisses the shit out of you. Dips you and everything. Billy is protesting because, "Hey I blew up half these fucking balloons" ...don't be a piss baby it'll be your turn in like thirty seconds.

Fourth of July?? Stu has the most illegal fireworks he could get his hands on so they’re. …. pretty illegal. They’re the asshole neighbors that set them off like weeks before the 4th and if you weren't fucking them you'd want their heads on a platter. As is? Eh.....you're fucking them so I guess this is the neighbor's problems- They always forgive because Stu's family throws the greatest fucking barbecues day of.

St. Patrick's Day? Time to get fucking WASTED. You are wearing green aggressively because the one year you didn't Stu pinched your ass all day long. Even Billy joined in when he saw how feisty and annoyed it was making you. Stu is still doing it but you...tried at least, RIP. It's the tradition now.

Valentine's Day?? billy vc: love is a neurochemical con job. But don't worry Stu will not allow him to be a bastard about the day because he's affectionate and loving. Stu knows how to celebrate the day perfectly. This is his time to shine! The Most Obnoxious Boyfriend. Everyone else is jealous. Flowers? Delivered in the middle of class. Huge chocolate box that is also #Expensive? Have fun putting that in your locker (he's sweet so he's actually gonna put it in his car for you once you've had a few)! Would pay the Band Kids to Follow Billy and s/o around MOSTLY to annoy Billy but also to be cute. They're playing the fucking .... they're playing this. Billy is so angry but..... like.... his inner possessive loves being made a fuss over publicly so whatever. Maybe he won't kill the band kids for this. You're not an ungrateful cretin so you clap and laugh.

Billy does get Stu a gift ...something not really...Valentine's Day-esque but something he'll like. Like a horror-themed bong (i'm so sorry y'all this man obviously is smoking weed). You wrap it in pink, heart themed paper for him which he didn't know you were going to do and he is going to get you for that ...later...in the bedroom. But Stu loved it so whatever.

You? At the exact same time you and Stu present each other teddy bears. His teddy for you? Cute and fucking...Huge. Yours?? Fucking horror themed.. made to be gore-y and bloody looking. He gasps, obviously touched, "Babe!". Gonna get made out with so hard.... How are you so cute and funny? He loves you!! It sits proudly on his dresser.

What do you get Billy?? He really does dislike the Holiday because he thinks people who use this as the day to show they half-ass care about their s/o one day a year deserve death and despair. He will give them that death and despair. So what to give him then?

Stu pretended to be too busy planning for Valentine's Day to plan any murders with him which pissed Billy off even more the week prior. He was busy planning Valentine's Day. He was planning the Normal one they'd have with you and the more private, bloody one they'd have later that night killing couples together. Icing on cake? You pitched in by helping Stu plan it and by picking out new knives for them to use during. They're #Pink in a way that is obnoxious but the quality is amazing and you say, "it's your Valentine's Day knives!!! Just to use on Valentine's every year. Do you like them?" billy choked up: it's fucking .... alright

Got em'! The only way you can make the night better is letting Stu and Billy have sex with you when they get home. They're high off the kill rush and Billy is pleasantly-surprised that Stu did a really good job of planning everything alone. They're covered in blood and feeling love-dovey. Let's all do heavy eye-contact missionary tonight

April Fools is a mess and it leaves all of y'all mad at each other for a solid fucking week. Everybody gets got. Nobody can trust one another. Nobody should.

Thanksgiving is not a happy time for Billy. He doesn't like spending it with his Dad because while he's ...so good at misdirecting or #Avoiding Things He Doesn't Want To Deal With it gets very hard at this time of year to not get mad at his Dad. He's for some reason never going to hurt his Dad who he could easily blame for his Mom leaving?? But he won't. Though he's very angry during this time of the year. His Dad will try to do anything and he just shuts himself in his room. Doesn't even wanna go to Stu's house or your house. It would just make him feel .... weird, upset, like he's intruding... jealous, even. It's kinda sad. He won't even pick up your calls that day. You and Stu don't even have to sneak into the house. Billy's Dad quietly let's you in and you go upstairs and just hold him together. It's a solemn holiday because it's like the start of reminding Billy about his Mother abandoning him.

Christmas goes kinda the same way tbh but he's ....trying to make an effort to not be as big of a bummer since Christmas is a little more significant than Thanksgiving. He knows you and Stu actually enjoy the holiday season. He tries to distance himself in general during this time because he just doesn't know how to be anything else. It's actually kinda sad because most of Billy's emotions if they're negative wind up manifesting as anger but he's genuinely depressed as shit.

Things are different when you all move in together because now he's also not trying to spend the holidays with the literal reminder of why his life sucks (his cheating ass daddy). Plus you and Stu are determined to give him new Holiday experiences to replace the ones that make him feel so shitty with nostalgia. He's grumpy the first Christmas you guys spend together after you're living alone but not angry the way he's been at Christmas times' past. Improvement.

The Christmas after that? Doesn't cringe once seasonal music starts playing in stores. Ghostface killings get a little less violent and frequent (he's not using them to cope as soon as it gets cold). Getting better. The Christmas after that?? You can get him to help you decorate. He helps you and Stu with the tree. He makes cookies with you. You watch horror themed Christmas movies and some regular ones (you cannot be a movie tyrant during the holidays, billy-). Christmas after that? You all send out a "family" Christmas card. You and Stu are in ridiculous sweaters and Billy is in one of solid red but he's wearing a Santa hat. His arms are crossed but there's the slightest smile on his face. You each have an arm around him. You all look happy together.

Now ..... for the big one: Halloween. Thought I skipped it? Hah! Best for last. This is their happiest time of year. They are so ready for this shit you have no idea. It's disgusting how ready they are. It turns October and Stu drops this video in your three person chat. Billy replies with a devil emoji. Disgusting?? You know you're in for a chore of keeping them in line for a whole fucking month. They will be doing MISCHIEF. They will be doing SHENANIGANS. Both MURDER and OTHERWISE. They're teepeeing houses. Cars. They're stealing candy from kids like dicks probably. Or laughing at people who are doing this. They keep the kills to Halloween night though. A whole month of just planning so they can do something big and terrible. You have to be looking after them extra during this time because they're so excited they are ...not ...doing that. you: you guys please drink some water i haven't seen you move in hours billy and stu: billy: holy shit it's been- stu: babe please make us something to eat we haven't had anything since yesterday :((((

Fucking dumb idiot disease. If you're living together?? God help you, you used to only have to see them get hype as fuck. Now? You must experience it 24/7. Halloween prep starts emotionally? Once summer ends. They want to deck out the house to the nines and you’re just gonna have to piss now staring at/being aware of the over-sized plastic spider Stu put on the back of the toilet.

Everything is spooky. Cobwebs everywhere. Black! Orange! Pumpkins! Outside decorations that are actually scary as shit. They're the haunted house on the street that gets #Talked About. They're gonna go murder the shit outta people later but early in the night?? The kids that manage to walk up to the house?? Get fucking...the Mother-load of all candy. The brave little bastard dressed as a ballerina-fairy-princess?? Fist-bump. Billy does not much like kids but all the kids who get to his door? You deserve this. Full-sized chocolate bars and bags of candy. Maybe even a dollar or two. Stu is actually great with kids and is the nice one who guesses all of their costumes. Somehow can guess the weird ones accurately?

Once that part of the night is over they go out and just wreak total fucking havoc. Halloween in Woodsboro is a nightmare. They're having fun at least! This is their Christmas and they love it. Babe babe don't wait up. They tell you as if you couldn't fucking guess?? They're not home till the wee hours of the morning and they're dead-exhausted but they had the time of their lives.

——————–

#billy loomis x reader x stu macher #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #billy loomis imagine #stu macher imagine #slasher x reader #horror imagine #thaaaank you for the request and the sweet words #stu you motherfucker...to be.....using fireworks in ca but he only has one braincell #y'all: did she leave halloween for last because it's their favorite??#me .....dead ass having forgot the holiday known as halloween while i run a slasher blog: uh....yeah

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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05/10/2020 DAB Transcript

1 Samuel 8:1-9:27, John 6:22-42, Psalms 106:32-48, Proverbs 14:34-35

Today is the 10th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we approach and move into a shiny, sparkly new week that is out in front of us, just waiting for us to live into and tell our story with. This gift of life that is before us is…is the gift from God and we get to make of it through our choices, through our thoughts, words and deeds whatever we like of it. And we can choose to honor God in it, which is what we're choosing to do, in part, by meeting here around the Global Campfire every day and just allowing this space to exist, this safe, warm place that we have to let God's word wash into our lives. So, let's do that. We are getting to know Samuel. And, so, we’ve kind of learned his origin story, this…the story before he was even born and his mom…his mother Hanna and her prayer to God and for Samuel being raised up in Shiloh at the tabernacle and then we’ve gone through the loss of the Ark and Samuel's emergence as the final judge of Israel. And, so, we will…we will continue that story. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. First Samuel chapters 8 and 9 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. And even as we begin a new week so often the things that we think about are the things that we need to do and the things we need to accomplish in the span ahead. And then, often when we think of our relationship with You, we’re wondering similar things, “what am I supposed to do to make God happy? Like, what is God requiring of me?” And thankfully, as we begin this new week that question was answered in the Gospel of John from Your own lips, Jesus. And, so we’re thankful for that. You were asked that question, “what must we do to do the work God requires?” And so often we are internally asking that, “how do we find ourselves in Your will and in Your good graces?” You answered the question, “the work of God is this: to believe in the One He has sent.” And, so, as we begin this new week, we do indeed declare that. We believe in the one God has sent. We believe that to be You, Lord Jesus. So, as we move into this week, we pray that we would become more and more like You, Christ like, Your hands and feet in this world. And we pray that Your Holy Spirit would guide and lead us into all truth. Come Holy Spirit, lead us into all truth as we open ourselves to the truth. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here.

So…well…here in the United States today is Mother's Day. So, I don't want to let that pass by. Happy Mother's Day mother's! It's pretty safe to say that none of us would be here without you. And, so… yeah…might be…I…I mean…a day for celebrating mothers, I don't always mention these kinds of holidays because they are commemorated at different times of the year in different countries around the world. So…but…I was thinking about my own mom today. So, yeah, lost her a couple years ago. And, so, was thinking about her, was thinking about my wife, I was thinking about all you mothers. Happy Mother's Day. It is an honor to be your sons and daughters. Thank you for bringing us into the world. Happy Mother's Day.

And then, let's see, dailyaudiobible.com is the website, and that is how you stay connected. Like, that's the portal of entry, that's…what…where you get connected. And there is a Community section there that will give you social media links and access to the Prayer Wall. And this kind of how you step in and make points of connection. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There’s a link on the homepage. Within the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer the mail, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today. I'm Brian it is great to be here with you for a brand-new week I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family this is Abba’s Joy I am just calling. I just want to say thank you to Brian and I want to lift up his family right now during this time because it’s hard, it’s challenging, and the DAB community and Brian’s readings is what’s keeping me moving forward. And I just want to say thank you to Brian and to everyone who is part of this Campfire. And I just want to shout out to Blind Tony. I haven’t heard him in a while and I just pray all is well. And Tony the truck driver, I always love hearing from him, and I believe it’s been a minute and I just pray everything is going well with you. And I’d like to just pray or share a verse for those teachers, especially this is teacher’s appreciation week and also now parents who have now become homeschool teachers, educators. It’s been challenging as a teacher myself to juggle work and family and children and sometimes we lose sight. And, so, here’s a reminder. Galatians 6:9 says, “and let us not grow weary while doing good for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” So, I encourage everyone to stay in the Word, walk by faith because God’s blessings and strength will be provided to us as His children. I thank you guys so very much. I love you. God bless.

Lord I just want to say thank You. Lord I just want to say thank You. Lord I just want to say thank You for everything that You’re doing in people’s lives, for everything that You’re going to do. Lord just touch everyone in the sound of my voice. Lord continue take our mind, body and soul. And Lord just do…have Your way. Lord if it is Your will Lord it shall be done. Lord continue to keep us, continue to love us, continue to do us and be us in our lives. Lord I want to say thank You for everything that You’re doing and that You have done Lord. Lord because You don’t do anything else Lord You’ve done enough. Lord and I just want to say thank You for everything that we have Jesus. Lord just touch those hospitals, touch the police, touch the nurses, touch the president, Lord just going touch everybody. And Lord this too shall come to pass Jesus. Lord You can do any and all things. And Lord I just want to say thank You and in Jesus’ name. Amen. Make sure y’all give. I love You guys.

For God so loved Elijah that He gave His one and only son Jesus, that if Elijah would believe in Jesus Elijah would not die forever but Elijah would live forever with Jesus in heaven. Hey, my little buddy Elijah, this is Kingdom Seeker Daniel from Chicago. Hey buddy. I love you man, but you know what? God loves you so much more and He is fighting for you. He is going to protect your mind, your heart, and your whole household. But don’t you worry one second, the devil will not win. You know why Elijah? Because the Bible says, greater is Jesus that lives inside of Elijah than the devil that hangs out in the world. So, you already win. You have the victory Elijah and I want you to know God is so proud of you buddy. We’re praying for you we love you and God’s got your back. You hang in there, man. God bless you buddy.

Hey everybody this is Pelham calling from Arab, actually right now I’m in Albertville Alabama, Addicted to Christ calling. I want to…it’s Cinco de Mayo and I just wanted to…I tried calling earlier and it dropped the call and apparently I wasn’t supposed to call at that time but now I’m standing in the back office in the cutting department and he said go ahead try again. So, I’m trying again. And this is still making me laugh but, Cinco de Mayo, and guess what people are going out and buying Corona’s to drink right now. So, hopefully that you know…don’t drink the Corona, don’t drink it, come on. Prodigal, I heard your call today on the show. By the way, I’m sorry to everybody because I have been very focused on myself, and I am now being told by the Holy Spirit, “hey Pelham, one of your things is to care about others. In fact, that’s your main reason why you still breathe.” So, He brings me the people I’m supposed to focus on. The girl who has the daughter who was on the streets, I think your name was Sonny. I’m…really was man attention when I was driving, and the Lord was speaking to me and I am a doofus. So, I might have your name wrong but let me talk with Prodigal. Prodigal that Glock, He wants you to see actually the Word of God. Your Glock is your sword and you are a trained assassin sent forth by the Lord to rebuke the enemy and break the chains that he’s put on his people…on the Lord’s people. There’s a time right now for us to fight to, to realize that we are sharing in His suffering only so that we can handle the glory that’s coming because the glory is coming. I don’t know if you all see it yet but if you’re suffering, guess what that means? You’re still alive, He loves you and He’s preparing you for something. Prodigal, man your call, it helped me. That shovel help me dude. I love you people…

Hi DAB family this is Rebecca Joy from Illinois calling in for the second time. It is May 5th today and I wanted to kind of touch on that something Brian said after all the verses today because he was talking about the difference the Spirit and then your thoughts and your emotions. And, my gosh, if I did not live by my thoughts and my emotions even a few years ago or even last year I…oh…geez, it’s so…so tiring. It’s so tiring. And I’m sure that people who are like me who have really bad anxiety and sometimes even falling into depression, man, it is just, it’s one of the worst things that you can feel and life because you just, it’s…it’s like you’re on a treadmill that keeps going faster and faster and you overthink things and I…I know for me I was trying to…I was trying to do better and much like Brian said, I was trying to find God in what I could feel and what I could think but every single time I didn’t think the right thing or I didn’t feel the right thing I would just…I would feel worse and worse and I would attribute that to me being a bad person and I didn’t understand what was wrong with me because if…if I was a Christian wasn’t I supposed to be getting better at this? But my middle name is Joy and I’ve learned more about what that means in the past few years. It’s taken a while for me to understand fully, but my…my gosh…if I only knew…if I only knew how much joy and love and just God in general does not count on your feelings or your thoughts about yourself. Whatever those things are, whatever you’re feeling negatively that’s not God, that’s fear, and I hope you remember that. Be blessed.

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Mira Martha from Georgia it’s actually my second time calling in. Tonight, I wanted to call in because Cindy the flute player’s message just really pricked my heart. Lord we all are struggling right now with this COVID and the struggles that are caused by all of this and I just…Cindy I…I want to pray for You and… Lord, thank You for all You are and Your guidance. And Lord I come to You tonight just asking that You be with Cindy and comfort her and give her wisdom and give her guidance what Your plan is. It’s so hard for us to see Your plan in the midst of turmoil or __. I pray that You’ll help her find the job that that is going to help her prosper and help her spread Your Word Lord. And I also ask that You pray for that You help her find a place to live or send the right people her way to help her stay where she is, whatever Your will is Lord. But I pray that You just be there for her and comfort her and give her the guidance that only comes from…form You Lord. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Good morning I’ve never done this before my name it is Vincent. Hello. And I heard Cindy the flute player. The sadness in your voice reminds me of the sadness I sometimes feel in my heart. I don’t know much but what I do know is that the Lord will never leave you nor forsake you. So, I pray in agreement with you that you find your job, your home, and your way and that you keep your faith as I need to keep mine. I ask in return that this Campfire group pray that I find love in my life. And as Brian says, I love you. You people are amazing.

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dndgamergirl · 4 years

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Dungeon Master Xmas Rant

Just when I thought the holidays could not get any worse they did today. as many of you guys know I run a Dungeons & Dragons Discord with my friends. We've rarely take new people into the group because of the fact that we would like to get to know the person before we allow them to play a game. We also have what we call the trial period. This is when a player who is new and it's not certain they want to join our group comes in and sits in on game for a couple of weeks. This allows the player to do a lot of things that most would never think to give a player who is new to D&D a chance to do. One of the things that we use it is to be able to allow a player who is new to our group an insight into the world they get to learn the characters and the world itself as well as the rules that the world abides by. Being the fact of most of my worlds are Homebrew this means that the players also get the idea of which rules from the books we use as well as some of the house rules. Now this is to say that we do have some major standards this means that a lot of our games that are adult oriented do have an age limit. At which you are allowed to participate in. This means that some games are strictly for those who are 21 years of age and up or even to the point of, ‘all right will allow the eight-year-old to come in and play but after this point know that the next game they might not be able to because that's when we have to go to the section that is way above their age level.’ So why am I telling you this? I'm telling you guys this because we just had another issue with a player. On second thought no we didn't have a issue we had a lot of issues. For me as a dungeon master I have to control the world that the players are running around in. This means I have to go over everyone's character sheet and background I also have to go over there backstory. When a player is having trouble with their back story I usually go ahead and help him figure out exactly where they need to fill in the places. I also help them figure out what they don't need their back story because it could cause trouble with the world schematics or even break the campaign because you're basically making a character that is too overpowered. Example of this can be found in a different rant that may or may not have already been published already. But on to the issues that we had with this player. Issue number one was the fact that whenever we got into the game the player was always very standoffish with their character. As a dungeon master I enjoy a little bit of angst and it's always fun to see kind of the bad boy character or the Emo character but then there's a point of taking it to the degree of your really just making it hard for anyone to interact with your character and move the story along. An example of this can be found in one game that a lot of my players are having a lot of fun with. The world that I have them running in is a mix of Supernatural meets American Pie meets Animal House mixed in with a little bit of Scooby-Doo. It's all based in the 1970s world that is just coming off of the hippie era and slowly going into the disco scene. The players all play college kids that are in a fraternity and are basically trying to stop one of the greatest on speakable evils known to mankind. They do have a little bit of leeway with the fact of the person who is basically the head guy to talk to you with campus security is their sponsor for their frat house and at the same time they also have the added advantage of certain characters are still running around that can help them. One of which is an NPC that I placed in that is kind of the Minotaur version of Tommy Chong from Cheech and Chong. And at the same time just for the heck of it I threw in a version of Jay and Silent Bob where Jay is a satyr Warlock and Silent Bob is a dwarf Paladin. I usually try to put in a lot of Pop Culture references and it makes everybody laugh a lot. Well this player decided that they wanted to go ahead and mess things up. And when I mean mess things up I mean unfortunately this player did some very ridiculous things. He wanted to be a werecat but they also wanted to be a Druid now whenever were talking about certain things I usually go ahead and I'm pretty lenient with my players. I gave them the ability to understandably turn into a half-and-half form of an animal as well as the ability to turn into the Natural Animal itself but they would not be able to talk much like wild shape for a druid. Only it would work longer and it would only work on the type of where creature they were. Being a generous DM I gave them this thinking that they wouldn't abused it as much as they did. And when I mean abused I mean they abused it. The character was constantly in the form of a cat not even a big cat a house cat. It got very annoying and unfortunately it got to the point where the player itself didn't want to go ahead and interact with anybody other than the fact of well this conversation.

Dm: “Okay wait they were here?”

Player: “Yeah you didn't notice.”

Dm: “No you didnt say you followed.”

Player: “Um yeah i did i was there the whole time.”

Dm: “Where then where in the room?”

They made it to where I unfortunately as a dungeon master I could never tell when the cat was in the room and it started to get very annoying to where I told them they had to make it known that they were there. At the same time they were also not happy unless all the spotlight was on them for certain s***. Whenever characters started to do any form of romance with a different character a NPC or even another player character they would kind of get uppity and try to get the attention all on them again. This was getting annoying and unfortunately I was unable to have a lot of contact with them because they were constantly working. The last game we had was the day before Christmas Eve and I asked him if they were coming to game and they said no I'm not feeling well. Being the kind of person that I am I left it at that and I decided that I would be talking to them about the issues that we were having another day. Not just for my end but from the players and as well because the players were getting upset that the character did not really try to help the group whenever things would happen. The character was always centered on themselves they didn't do anything to help any of the other players whenever a battle came they only protected who themselves. And in this game unfortunately the one that I'm running you have to protect not only yourself but you also have to watch out for your friend who's standing right next to you a lot more than yourself. Because once that line is broken that's it game over the party will be at a major risk of a total party kill. So what do I do Christmas Eve was the next day and I decided that I would go ahead and wait until Friday. Since Christmas this year falls on Wednesday, I figured that it would be all right to go ahead and give him 3 days before I called them since I would be working with my service dog on Thursday. On Friday I had planned to call them and that was that or so I thought. Christmas comes and I go to my family's house I'm normally not one to deal with one side of my family and they usually make me pretty uncomfortable. So I was already in a kind of mood and all I was thinking was present time is almost here and after we have presents we pick up the food and then we all go home. This means I only have 1 hour and 45 minutes left of Christmas. That is when I get a contact on my Discord server. Only it's not the main server its individual message. I had time so I decided to go ahead and take a look I figured it was one of my friends on Discord sending me a Merry Christmas card or picture. However it wasn't it was the problem player who told me that they were going to leave the game. They told me that the reason they were going to be leaving the game was because they weren't having as much fun as they had in the beginning. A lot of my games do have a good bit of combat but I also balance at all with a good bit of dialogue and at the same time I also tried to balance it off with a bit of puzzle work that the players have to do. This player was more of a combat player and at the same time was also the kind of person that if there wasn't any combat going on every 10 seconds they would basically get bored. For a D&D game to work you have to have a complete balanced and at the same time you have to rotate the importance of each player in an entire rotation. One session segment might be about one player and then the next one another player so you have to take it all in turn it's a complete Carousel Ride. As soon as one player has had the spotlight on them for long enough you then have to move to the other players in the queue. The bad part is that this hit at a point where I was not in a good mood and at the same time it only made it worse. For me Christmas has always been a time where I have really bad seasonal depression and at the same time where I don't feel like I belong. So upon me getting this notification and i was at christmas you know i wa not happy. And the bad part is that broke the goliths back. For the week before this i found out the player had also during the week expressed his issues to the players stating that he didn't want to talk to me about it because he felt like I wouldn't listen to him. When all the players know that I do listen to them and that I encouraged them constantly to come to me if they ever have any questions or any concerns. So I did the only thing I could which was go ahead and allow him to know that okay fine you can leave thanks for letting me know. But also a tip for other Gamers out there as well as this one if you're going to go ahead and say you're leaving a game or leaving a table. Maybe you shouldn't do that on a holiday because you don't know what that person is going through Master might have a bad connection with a certain holiday not just Christmas but possibly Easter or some other holiday. Maybe it holds bad memories for them and they're trying to not have bad memories happen on that day. Today I was trying to make a few good memories with my family but unfortunately this message made it to where I couldn't have that it completely ruined my day. And unfortunately I had a really bad time a Christmas this year. When I expected to get a merry Christmas I got a sorry but your game is too boring and I'm going to disrupt what little bit of happiness you're trying to have just to make you feel like dirt. As such the gamer has now been removed from our server and now we're looking for somebody to replace him. It's also gotten me to the point where I'm now debating going ahead and making an entire panel for an up-and-coming convention that I'm going to about dungeon master rants things that make the dungeon master story keeper and Storyteller angry. Maybe this will be a good platform for other dungeon Master's to come forward about their own issues that they've had with their groups or players and possibly allow other dungeon Master's to give them an idea as to how to handle this. Problem players are always an issue and unfortunately it can be even more of an issue when they decide to go ahead and ruin your holidays.

#dndgamergirl #dnd #dndrants #Dungeons and Dragons #dungeon master thoughts #dungeon master shit #how to make the dungeon master facepalm #dungeon master rants

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theparanormalperiodical · 4 years

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The Ultimate Guide To A Dickensian Christmas - Including Horror And Christmas Movies To Stream, And How To Vibe Like A Victorian

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Christmas is complicated.

Okay, fine, it might not quite be the iconic Austen quote you had to memorise for GCSE English, but the reality still stands: bringing family and friends together - mixed with the threat of debt, and drenched in alcohol - can often make for a seriously difficult, disgusting Christmas pudding.

And that’s if you're lucky enough to spend the season with friends or family!

This year I’m in the former position. But whether it’s visiting my grandmother in her care home, or trying not to have a panic attack about my driving test, Christmas has kinda been cancelled in my house.

Bah humbug?

But as a spiritualist, I know that Christmas is a particularly special time for sceptics and believers alike. That’s because sharing a ghost story or two used to feature as a centre-piece to a Victorian Christmas.

And as your fave paranormal blogger, you know I couldn’t resist making the season that much spookier.

So, this year, I’m ditching the annual Love, Actually stream on a dodgy website (even if there is a £3 wrinkle trick doctors don’t want me to know about).This year, I’m not going to watch Last Christmas at the cinema (I mean, I wouldn’t anyway, I have some self-respect, christ). And this year, I ain’t dreading seeing my awkward relatives make outdated comments about Caitlyn Jenner..

I’m going back to basics. I’m going to the paranormal past. I’m having my own goddamn Dickensian Christmas.

Now, who’s with me?!

This post is going to take you through the backstory to the Victorian’s spooky Christmas’, the Dickensian traditions that need to be on your to-do list (don’t worry, being in poverty is not a requirement), and all the music and movies you need to stream for the season.

From horror to holiday, I’ve got a list of the best movies on Netflix and Amazon Prime - and links to the trailers. And yes, I’ve checked it twice.

In true Dickensian fashion, I’ve even brought together the resources to help you find charitable causes you can volunteer for or donate to.

But before we dive in, I just wanted to say this:

I can make a joke about an urban legend, and I can dissect a horror film like it’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - but I’m not here to joke about something as difficult as Christmas. Even though I’ve always loved the premise of a Dickensian Christmas giving me an excuse to watch a horror film over a mince pie, I wanted to provide a resource for people that aren’t as lucky as me.

For those that are alone, for those that are struggling financially in the festive season, and for those in need, I wanted to make sure that whoever you are - and whatever you have - you can have a very Merry Christmas.

And no - it doesn’t mean you have to watch The Exorcist on Christmas Day! I’ve included non-horror traditions and Christmas films, too, so everyone can have their own dosage of Christmas cheer.

Now, let’s get spooky!

Why Did The Victorians Tell Ghost Stories At Christmas?

Ghosts, spirits, and demons.

All three make frequent cameos on this blog. But there is no doubt about it: the Victorian era was far more terrifying than any ghost story I post as a Spook Of the Day. Industrialisation’s mass poverty and the hold of colonialism ever-tightening on the world both go far beyond the plot of any film featured in my fave genre.

Yet aside from the racism, sexism, and just, well, general shitness, there is one aspect of Victorian Britain that sticks out to me:

They shared ghost stories at Christmas.

It all starts with this bloke called Charles Dickens. All English speakers will be know this classic author, and will probably know about one of his most celebrated works - A Christmas Carol.

Dickens centres this novel around this lad, Scrooge. Well, I say lad - less get-yer-tits-out, more fuck-the-poor-and-fuck-christmas-too. As a result of his rude ways regarding one of his employees and his attitude towards Jesus’ birthday, he is haunted by three different ghosts that explore his past, his present, and his future.

I mean, it’s obviously pretty damn spooky.

But beyond Dickens confirming the spooky side to a Victorian Christmas, creepiness at Crimbo is actually quite common! And that’s because most major religious holidays coincide with pagan celebrations. This time, that’s the Winter Solstice.

In specific terms, the Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year. The sun’s path hits the southernmost position, and then begins to move north, making the days longer. In less scientific terms - and rather more spiritual ones - winter suggested a time of death or ageing. Whether it’s embodied by the symbol of The Crone, or by the forecasted lack of food in the bleak months to come, this was clearly considered a time when the lines between the living and dead were blurred.

This is reflected in the celebrations of the solstice - death features prominently, with ceremonial slaughters taking centre stage. Yet aside from the interest in this depressing topic is the interest in what happens after death. Iranian, Germanic, and Celtic traditions all focus on evil spirits that might once again return to our plain. In fact, believers make a point of staying up to avoid meeting such a spirit!

Given the close links developed between winter and Christmas, some Pagans even used to celebrate it on the solstice, merging the traditions.

And that’s where our obsession with ghost stories on Jesus’ birthday begins.

So, when you cut out binging on Quality Street, and watching yet another attempt at a christmas special hit the TV, you’re left with family discussion. Team that with the growing interest in spiritualism during the Victorian period, and we arrive at the paranormal pastime that dominated a Dickensian Christmas.

The Films You Need To Watch For A Dickensian Christmas

So we know that a good ol’ ghost story is the go-to for a Dickensian Crimbo. Question is, how do you actually find these stories?

Well.

You could get lost in your favourite paranormal blog *hair flip*... You could fall down a reddit rabbit hole… or you could sit yo’ ass down and watch yo’self a horror film.

“But, @thespookiestllama, can’t you just share ghost stories with fellow friends and family?”

Of course you can! But if - like me - your family has a revulsion to discussing the supernatural, or your spending this one alone, tapping ‘play’ on Amazon Prime and scoffing an entire box of Lindt is the best way to celebrate the season.

So, to make finding these flicks that much easier, I’ve compiled a list of the best horror films to stream on both Netflix and Amazon Prime (in the UK) - fit with the trailers for each. Simply take your pick, and get Dickensian

Feeling a smidge more festive? Don’t fancy watching some kid throw up pea soup whilst your basting the turkey?

(I mean, it’ll put you off sprouts for life.)

Here’s a list of films - and the trailers - that are less horrifying, and more ho-ho-ho!

Netflix

Cheesy Christmas (S)Hits

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oEAwuC-AyM

The Princess Switch (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W24IK7YJ4fo

A Christmas Prince (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG4Fbj1B1bY

Christmas Inheritance (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4STcvndzbE

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JtwROpSVWc

Films About Dickensian Christmas

The Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx3ctBjG6yI

Dickensian (Tv Series)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U57l3XUKZP4

Family Friendly Flicks

Elliot The Littlest Reindeer (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viUFB3Oitnk

Rise Of The Guardians (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OxDZKordaM

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Klaus (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taE3PwurhYM

Comedies

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

A Bad Mom’s Christmas (2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJdNdMOblaM

Christmas With The Kranks (2004)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTzyGuB9V6c

Holiday Rush (2019)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2U6diYTnxA

Bad Santa (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQvaoRScND4

Amazon Prime

Family Friendly Films

Arthur Christmas (2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tk-WZSqIGQ

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Nativity 3 (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OyV2xSakI0

Comedies

The Night Before (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShIAH_G-Iuw

Nativity (2010)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_lLpFYdKj8

Nativity 2 (2012)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmqB5ZRhWA0

Nativity 3 (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OyV2xSakI0

Four Christmases (2008)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v0Rbf5xI9o

Love The Coopers (2015)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TSX_0rwPNc

The Holiday (2006)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDi5zH18vxU

Love Actually (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOS-HMiVejo

Elf (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a54yC1etmVc

Nativity Rocks (2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBmHMl7qjzQ

Mixed Nuts (1994)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwBG2CXDXcc

Films About Dickensian Christmas

A Christmas Carol (1970)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99BfCytGEGY

A Christmas Carol (2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ3lr3urgDU

Scrooged (1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ajwSBuozVs

The Classics

Love Actually (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOS-HMiVejo

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr6N_hZyBCk

Die Hard (1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaJuwKCmJbY

Elf (2003)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a54yC1etmVc

The Dickensian Christmas Playlist You Need To Listen To

Hands up if you work retail.

Keep your hands up if you also hate retail.

(I also have a foot in the air to confirm my dislike for working a Sainsbury’s till.)

Chances are, this same group has faced what all employees dread: Christmas. Why? Because whilst your earning minimum wage on your tedious tasks, you’re also being tortured via Christmas No. 1.

All the shops play is the same loop of the same christmas songs.

And on top of that you’re trying to fend off customers claiming they are entitled to the meal deal discount when they haven’t picked the meal deal discounts items cause it’s the red ticket items only and the crisps they’ve got are Kettle like who are they kidding Kettle crisps are the Waitrose of lunchtime snacks how would this be discountable.

*Breathe*

You can see how it can make Christmas, well, crap.

Are you tired of Mariah? Are you sick of Slade? And are you really simply having a wonderful christmas time? Me neither.

It’s time to take things Dickensian:

No points are going for guessing that the Victorians didn’t pull out their bluetooth speakers when they were having a post-supper singalong. Instead, carolling on the streets and going door-to-door was their alternative to hitting shuffle on your fave streaming site.

(Who knows - Jay Z could be reading this!)

The most popular carols sung and played by musicians in the Victorian era included:

O Come All Ye Faithful, Once In Royal David’s City, See Amid The Winter’s Snow, O Little Town Of Bethlehem, and Away In A Manger.

So, I’ve brought together a variety of versions of these songs authentic to the era.

That means there’s no Mariah Carey “whistletones” piercing through the awkward silences of christmas dinner, and no Destiny’s Child squeezing a festive classic into an anti-feminist box.

(And that’s because the the Victorian songs are already infused with their own special brand of sexism...)

The spotify playlist

And Finally, The Dickensian Christmas Traditions You Need To Try

To some, Christmas means peace on earth, and goodwill to all men.

To others, Christmas means capitalism driving the innocent into debt.

However you view the festive season, one thing is for sure: each and every tradition filling up your dinner table or lighting up your tree started with the Victorians.

Many historians point to Queen Victoria, herself - but don’t worry, not all traditions require a regal budget. The Christmas tree was the most iconic feature brought to Victorian Britain, plaguing us with dropped pine needles since the 19th century!

Christmas cards also began to be sent and shared, and were even crafted by pauper and prince alike. In fact, by the 1880s, 11.5 million cards bringing seasonal cheer to mailboxes across the countries were created.

Another tradition birthed by the 19th century was gift giving.

But before you clutch your wallet for dear life, the presents passed between families and friends were small and simple. Trinkets, fruits, nuts, and sweets were hung on the tree due to the minimalist size of time gone-by.

So yes, Cliff Richards was right.

Speaking of food, mince pies - made from actual meat - were a popular treat eaten during this time, as was Turkey as a part of a grand feast shared among family and friends.

Don’t have the budget for this binge?

No time to trinket-the-tree?

No matter; the Victorians only had one thing in mind. Okay, aside from the desire to support the empire as it snatched innocent victims and territories…

And that was family and charity.

Never read A Christmas Carol? Chances are you won’t know the iconic ending to this iconic book. The final moments of the novel see Scrooge waltzing down the street, struggling under a huge turkey meant for an employee who was humbled by poverty.

Together they eat and enjoy a magnificent feast!

Yet despite the image evoked of this old man trying not to buckle under the sheer size of the table’s centrepiece, it's not actually about the turkey. It's about giving to others, and being together.

“God bless us everyone!” - Tiny Tim’s famous line from the book

You don’t need a healthy bank account to have a merry Christmas, nor do you need to accoutrements to prove it’s the festive season. In fact, you don’t even need family or friends around you to celebrate Christmas.

Giving to others is the true meaning of a Dickensian Christmas.

Its for that reason that I’ve brought together a few links to help you find places to volunteer this Christmas, and charities you can support (UK):

To help you find volunteering opportunities near you:

https://do-it.org/channels/volunteer-at-christmas

A guide to the best places to volunteer this christmas

https://money.howstuffworks.com/economics/volunteer/opportunities/volunteering-on-christmas1.htm

So - Are You Ready To Do Things Dickensian?

Are you hunkering down with a hot chocolate to check out La Llorona?

Or are you about to press play on Love, Actually, instead?

Be sure to hit follow for more spooktastic stuff - and a spooky fact every damn day!

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thewrongjackpot · 4 years

Text

I hit the wrong jackpot. *Spoiler alert, it’s cancer.*

[Originally written 1/3/20]

Warning: There may be a fair amount of sarcasm throughout this post coupled with some dark humor. Also, if you’re new to this channel, please disregard a lot of the other ramblings here, unless one dares to be bored.

“What jackpot did you hit?” you may ask. I hit the cancer jackpot. You read that right. C-A-N-C-E-R. This fun-loving 26-year-old has been diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma and of a newer subtype called Sclerosing. Take those words in. I had to have Google repeatedly tell me how to say it before I got the hang of it. It’s a jackpot because to say it is uncommon in adults is an understatement. A friend told me I need to get my butt to Vegas with all this rare luck.

“Wait, what? How did this all happen?” asked no one. Here’s a fun “little” deep-dive into everything that’s been going on the past few months, and how I’ve been dealing with it. Remember, you chose to continue reading this long post from here on out.

Well, let’s take it back to early-mid August. It started with what I thought was just TMJ issues because I was stressing some and clenching my teeth, so my jaw and temple started off sore. It then progressed to limited range of motion with my jaw (opening/closing), a small protrusion along my temple, and some numbness on my face. The urgent care doc essentially told me it’s TMD, the muscle is swollen, to chill, and it’ll go away. Well, that was extremely off. I saw my primary doctor, who then referred me to an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor. Now, we’re at the end of November, and I had to take some MRIs and then was referred to another ENT doctor. I had a biopsy, and the doctor said it looks more mild-moderate than severe like he was initially thinking, but he was pretty sure it was malignant with how quickly it has been growing. Christmas Eve morning, I get a phone call. The final pathology came about, and it’s an intermediate grade Rhabdomyosarcoma. I was referred to a hospital with a Sarcoma specialist and saw her just after the new year began. She doesn’t know staging yet because she doesn’t know if it has spread anywhere else yet. I only had MRIs done and that was over a month ago now. So next week I get the joyous pleasure of more MRIs, a bone scan, a lumbar puncture, and a bone marrow biopsy. EXCITING. They’re also going to need to start chemo soon, so they’re working on getting that set up in the background. As of right now, the oncologist was saying it’ll be about 5 months of chemo, radiation and/or surgery, and then more chemo. More will be known in the coming weeks, but at least there’s finally a real start and direction to this all.

Needless to say, it’s been a crappy holiday season and last several months. Here’s a list of what this jolly (not green) giant growth in my head/neck has caused:

Swollen temple/face

Limited ability to open my mouth (~1.5cm)

Misaligned jaw

Numbness along half my face

Sharp shooting pains throughout my head/neck

Impacted breathing out of my left nostril

Fluid in my left ear (impacted hearing)

Trouble swallowing

Fatigue

Body aches

Pressure throughout the entire left side of my head

Large growth(s) inside my mouth encompassing cheek/mouth real estate

Accidentally chewing on said growths, which I think is the reason there’s blood in my mouth periodically

After my first meeting with the oncologist the other day, some topics hit home harder than others.

One of the points that almost made me cry on the spot was when I was asking about fertility. She was saying that she could recommend me to a fertility clinic to harvest my eggs. However, that could take 2-4 weeks, and we might not have that time to spare. I know that there’s so much more at stake, my health and well-being taking spot numero uno. I also know that there are other ways to still have kids, but it’s still such a depressing feeling and thought. Along with hearing that 2-4 weeks is not time that can be spared, it begs the question, “How bad/serious is this really?”. Having my own child is a choice that may never even be mine to begin with. I just always had this picture in mind about how life would be never thinking this is the luck I would be dealt. Then again, I don’t think anyone ever envisions something like this happening to them… Although, my vision of six dogs at any given time could become more of a reality. *shrug* (Honorable mention goes out to my brother who was cheering me up big time on this one.)

Next, the fear started to really set in when talking about all these tests that needed to be done. I’m absolutely terrified of pain, and the thought of all these huge needles makes me want to cry, throw up, and pass out. It’s not just the pain and needles I’m afraid of, it’s everything that comes along with the actualization of what this really is. Since we don’t know the full extent of this, my mind can’t help but think the prognosis is possibly more grim with all these tests needed and how quickly this tumor has dominated my face. I’m scared about having to go to treatments, having to feel sick, fatigue setting in, and withering away. I’m scared about losing my hair because, boy, let me tell you, I’ve always had long thick hair my whole life. There are only two occasions I can think of where my hair was shorter than mid-back. I’ve broken down crying several times in the shower while washing my hair; it was always a safety blanket for me. Although, I said I should jump the gun and get a bowl cut already haha. On a more serious note, I’m absolutely mortified that I’m not going to make it through this…but being a fighter and a survivor is in my blood, so I’m trying to not let that run my mind too much.

On a more physical and literal level, one of the most debilitating aspects of this is the limited range of motion with my mouth because I can barely eat. Eating has become almost a punishment because after a few bites of something, it hurts everywhere. It’s hard to swallow at times; it’s just all-around depressing. At this point, I’m closing in on having lost 30 pounds in about three months. I’m eating maybe 1000 calories a day. I try to force myself to eat, but it’s difficult. Some days everything makes me nauseous. I’ve mostly been drinking smoothies, eating soup, and other soft foods like mashed potatoes. Even when I am eating something, it’s extremely defeating when I wipe soup off my chin because the little piece of potato couldn’t fit in my dumb mouth and caused soup to drip down, and I couldn’t feel it because my face is too busy being numb. Moments like that are extremely disheartening. Stupid mouth.

Also, another difficult aspect of this is sleeping. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in months. No matter which way I lie, there is either uncomfortable pressure or some sort of pain. I’ve literally woke up crying like a fussy baby because it hurts so much, and all I want to do is sleep.

DESPITE ALL OF THIS, I’m down, but I’m not out. I still have so many things to be grateful for. My husband continues to be amazingly strong, knows how to comfort me when I need it, and has been picking up my slack. Some of my family members have seriously stepped up in ways I could not have imagined that genuinely caught me by surprise. For those family members who have been with me on this so far, they have been so supportive and simply there for me when I need them. My parents are doing whatever they can from wherever they are to help me, e.g. my mom is flying up next week to be with me. I have some solid friends, and even my husband’s friends have been amazing. Work is working well with me through this, and even my old boss and coworkers have been checking up on me. Side note: I saw this lady at work today (whom I rarely interact with) only to find out her brother got treated where I am by the same set of doctors, and she said his experience was great as was the staff. That was an unexpected nugget of good vibes I did not expect today or ever.

One of the other biggest items I realized a few days ago that I am extremely grateful for is having moved away from Hawaii. Since moving, I go back and forth on whether leaving was the best decision, but now who knows what would be of me if I didn’t. If developing this cancer was an inevitable piece of my life story, being in Hawaii would have been one of the worst things for me. For one, there are doctor shortages, so being seen would have been dragged out so much longer than here. Secondly, Hawaii does not have the specialists to even treat me. I would have had to fly somewhere else anyway. As an aside to this, I’m even more grateful that we moved to the west coast because family is more accessible than in DC, and my husband and I have friends here as well.

Well, that’s about it for now. I like to talk/write, so I’m honestly going to post updates on here even if they fall on deaf ears. Just like this page says, I’m someone rambling lol.

If you’ve made it this far, I’ll give you a cake pop one day or something.

TL;DR

I have a rare form of cancer that’s been progressing pretty quickly. A lot of it really sucks right now, but there’s finally some real direction in getting me treated. Also, I am surrounded by a lot of love and dope people, and I still have so much to be grateful for.

#cancer #chemo #sarcoma #rhabdomyosarcoma #tumor #jackpot #rambling #long post #coping #cancer sucks #dying

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