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nerd-at-sea5 · 2 years

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robin gets beat up and cannot hide anything from nancy bc it's nancy so cute ronance ensues bc i love them

im using canon pronouns for everyone bc i’m still working out my gender hcs for them all :) (max is nb but idk pronouns yet)

cw-blood, fighting, slurs, homphobia, abuse

robin buckley didn’t dislike being slammed into walls.

ok scratch that, she liked it when it was nancy wheeler doing the slamming. because that normally came with a kiss.

when it’s some random dickheaded kid from school, she likes it less. a lot less.

“hey faggot.”

“hey jack-hole. you know, i’m really starting to think you’re why condoms we’re invented.”

sharp pain to the shoulder blades, “that sounds like it’ll bruise, buckley.”

she did her best to smirk through the grimace, “it’s fine, i’ll get your mom to patch it up next time i go to rail her. say hi to your little brother for me!”

the kid’s grip lessened, “what?” then his expression changed, and before robin could see his arm swinging, one, two, three-there was blood pouring from her nose, her right eye felt like it was swelling and she could feel a split lip with her tounge.

he and his posse stalked away as robin sank to the floor with a groan.

the best part is that the dude didn’t even know she was gay. no one did-outside of the party + adults involved with party.

he was just a run-of-the-mill bully who liked to call kids faggots. go figure.

either way, the brunette was a little proud of herself, normally in those situations she’d fight back, and 9/10 times she hurt the dude worse than he hurt her, it’s probably why she’s been suspended. twice.

but sarcasm is easier when it comes to robin’s academics. not so much her physical and mental health.

she groaned again, pressing her palms to her eyes in an attempt to push back the tears threatening to spill, it didn’t work so robin hauled herself up and punched the locker.

“OW FUCK ME.”

biking with one or no hands was easy and didn’t even faze robin much, so as she dumped her bike in the wheelers front yard, adding to the pile, she swung her short hair in front of her eyes as best she could, a futile attempt but still an attempt to hide the forming bruise.

the door swung open without anyone touching it, and robin took that as a sign to go in, flopping herself down next to nancy and steve on the couch while the boys argued over a movie, max and el sat in a chair together whispering.

“afternoon nerds.”

a smattering of “hey rob.” “hi.” “afternoon.” came out of the kids, steve reached over to lay his arm over her shoulders, the other around jonathan, both who had their eyes on the boys.

nancy on the other hand, raised her eyebrow and gently brought a hand up tp robin’s face, who tried to redirect it, “nance don’t-”

“oh my god, robin!” her yell alerted everyone else, and steve instantly swung around, “jesus christ, rob-what happened to you-”

“n-nothing!” robin sputtered out, holding her palms up as nancy rushed to the bathroom, steve on her heals before robin held up her hand.

“well come on then!”

her girlfriend pointed at the sink, “sit.”

“nancy, really i’m-”

“robin buckley so help me god do not lie to me right now. you are not fine, and if you say so much as it it will be a bigger lie than mike saying he’s not in love with will. now, for fucks sake. express your goddamn emotions and don’t fucking hide them from me.”

she finishes putting tape on robin’s face and steps between her legs, gently running a hand over the taller girl’s lip, “i love you to much to keep watching you get hurt.”

nancy’s voice was so soft it was nearly a whisper, and it almost broke robin’s heart.

she really did try, she tried to fly under the radar, not get called out by assholes, but people had been pegging her as the weirdest girl in hawkins for years now.

robin knew that every time she showed up somewhere with a new bruise-nancy knew exactly how she’d gotten it.

face=school, arms/legs=biking or other mooter accident, torso=well. torso meant parents.

“i love you too, nance.”

nancy’s lips twitched for a second, “then stop getting yourself all beat up.”

“oh i thought looked hot like this.” robin quips back, earning a light glare from nancy, who sighs.

robin’s stomach twists, and she gently hooks her feet around nancy’s back, pulling her closer to her chest, wrapping her arms around nancy’s back and burying her face in her shoulder/neck.

“i don’t want to lose you just when i’ve got you for the first time you know.”

robin smiles into her girlfriends neck, “your not losing me anytime soon baby.”

“baby?”

“oh please, i’ve heard steve call you way worse.”

“mhm...i like it better from you.”

robin smiles again, “baby it is then.”

nancy’s reply is replaced with a gasp as the taller girl presses her lips to the shorter’s neck, over and over again.

nancy’s back hits the door, and robin feels butterflies so intense in her stomach that she thinks she might explode.

she can’t fathom why someone would ever need drugs when kissing feels like this.

maybe it’s because robin’s kissing nancy fucking wheeler.

and because nancy fucking wheeler kissed her first, right outside her parents bedroom, where her dad was sleeping.

the same dad who would not be ok with it if he found out that not one, but both of his kids swing both ways.

robin’s parents won’t be that happy either, but joyce is.

robin’s practically living with the byers/hoppers at this point-she’s claimed the guest room and when people come over steve takes the floor and nancy curls up next to robin and they talk all night with jonathan.

“i’m ok nancy. really.”

when nancy’s looking up at her with those blue eyes and steady grin saying “you better be.” robin is convinced she’d take another hundred hits to the face for this girl.

“i love you robin, i really really do.”

yep. she really would.

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doctorguilty · 6 months

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Baddddd bad bad bad very sad

My head hurts, the pressure makes me feel like it's being squeezed and crushed by rubber bands ... from sinus inflammation and dehydration and not eating probably isn't helping

I feel like I want to cry again but I'm trying to stop myself so I won't make the pain even worse

This is only, what, a week into dst? Not even winter yet.. Seasonal affective disorder is going in for the kill this year I guess. I don't know what im going to do because I'm so tired, physically and mentally and just tired of my life, there's no fight in me left. And no one will or can help me. I'm my family's least favorite and so i get the least help, doctors won't take my health seriously, my partner needs more time, possibly more than a year, before moving in with me with me somewhere. I can't afford to live on my own. I barely have energy to keep collecting scraps of money to show as income so I can continue getting food assistance.

I had a spark of hope for a while but it feels like it was a mistake to let myself have it. How much longer can I lie to myself and say "one more year until it gets better"? I mean, I can't. That illusion is broken. So what can I tell myself? It truly feels like there's nothing. Things keep getting worse. I tried so hard, I really did. I'm exhausted. Truly utterly exhausted.

Unless anyone out there (just like, the world not @-ing Tumblr dot com) has a spare 20 grand or something they'd just hand to me to live off for "one more year" (and then some) and detox from my miserable quality of life, surviving it barely even sounds appealing knowing that my physical and mental health I'll be another year WORSE than where it is now. And even then. There's not guarantee it ends there :''') its an estimate, an "if I'm lucky" estimate and it's not even considerably lucky to be in this position.

I genuinely don't know how I'm gonna keep living like everything is fine and normal while I continue losing steam to make money, make art, care for myself (I'm already down to roughly 2 showers a week and at best 1 real meal a day because I'm so tired), to keep filling out paperwork begging for assistance (I think I'm already overdue for my food stamp update), and watching other people in my family just be handed endless help while I'm patronized with "have you considered painting Christmas ornaments for a living" and interrogated about the validity of my disabilities (which I always fail to prove good enough)

Almost everyone around me is happier than me. Almost everyone else's life is on track and I'm at best simply left behind, and at worst I was someone they stepped on to get what they needed before tossing me to the side.

My life is not only painful and exhausting but humiliating. I don't feel like a person. I don't feel important. I feel like if i did die out of the blue, nobody would say they regret helping me more like people usually say, they'd just talk about how I should have done xyz better and it's my own fault (not a s*icide threat just being hypothetical like literally if i died for any random reason)

Most of everything that's happened in my life, I feel, has validated my chronic sense of worthlessness. Everyone says I'm not but prove it. Someone prove it. Someone put me first. Sacrifice something for me (and not complain what a burden I am on them!). For once. If I wasn't worthless, well, I'd be worth it, without strings attached.

It won't happen. It never happens. I have to dance like a fucking circus animal for people and then beg on my knees I'm entertaining enough to keep alive so I can do it over and over again

#seth speaks #neg #angry parts arent vaguing tumblr ppl its mostly irl stuff like thats the issue thats where i need the most help

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imnotbitteranymore-imsyrupysweet · 11 months

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What Pride feels like to me.

lonely, dark, and heavy. hopeless humanity is all i can see through tear-filled vision, with no hope of ever living for me fully.

claustrophobic, agoraphobic and getting worse with every joke or post i see that’s homo/transphobic.

i’m scared to go to pride for mass shootings or bombings, so i think i’ll push myself past it but as i tell my parent i love them to get ready to go i’m suddenly overcome with the fear of everything. i swallow down my tears for moments more - turning back from the door, give excuses as to why that don’t force forth the cry. so i don’t sound dramatic when i say i was just afraid id die.

but i see it in their eyes too, i feel it in the tension of the room and the forced positivity for the rainbow under such clouds of gloom. they were just as scared, they just want me to be safe. Like any parent should want, right? their baby not to be scared to walk, day or night, that they don’t have to hide and could go outside the house as themselves without landing them in a life-or-death fight.

but the world is a scary place. but what they don’t get, see, or feel for me is, one less chance turns into yet another year of fear. another year of me, alone, crying in the very bedroom of my childhood home that i learned it all in. every single piece of me that i turned over in my tiny hands. the very ones i clasped every night praying it away, along with any people showing kindness of saying that who i was was okay.

the very bed sheets i muffled those cries into. the ones i bunched up to feel like i knew what it felt like holding someone in the night, too.

i wish sometimes to wring them thin, i have but not like this - i want to drain them of every tear. i want each and every one of them back. every drop of heartache, silent shatters for others hearts sake, every ounce of blood sweet and tears that it has come to collect.

i’m not sure why, or what i’d do with it.

perhaps, i could bottle it, and then see - see all those years of pain in silence, wasted, behind me.

maybe that’s it, maybe then i could move on from what haunts me. if i could just see it, make all of that hurt something physical to show me, validate me in all of it so i could let go of any of this.

i keep thinking i have and then im right back.. here. i still dress certain ways and am afraid of my natural ways. don’t be too loud, don’t draw attention, deepen you voice, talk proper non of that girly shit, walk straight, talk straight.

to be hyperaware of every aspect of myself even for the only thing i really leave the house for, walking my dog, is tearing away any bit of mental health i build. i thought- god, i don't know what i thought.

i guess i thought i’d never be back here. that by now, i would be in a place, at least of mind, where i was free to be me. but still i look in the mirror and so rarely just see me. rather, accompanying, always it seems, is every glare, every passing remark, every lonely day at school choosing that over getting made fun of or letting someone close enough, every time i averted my eyes, instead, looking to the ground when passing anyone in this god forsaken town. --------------

(sort of separate/i wrote this portion below, first, then once i started crying at the end of this i went back up and wrote all that.. so.. yeah. i feel a bit better now though)

every time this month comes along all i can see are the thumbs downs out weighing the likes of articles for us

i feel like a whale strung through with a harpoon they cruelly tie weights to once i’ve enough blows to fashion rope around.

i try, i really try, every year, if i’m honest, almost every second of the day to embrace myself and let go of all their hate. i try to focus on the love and the ones out there that accept us... but at the end, i always end up feeling that crushing feeling of hates weight, pulling down on me.

i want to be proud of who i am and exactly as i was made. how i am when i let go of the hateful, close-minded people out there and focus on only the peace i come to make in here. but i end up hunched over even alone, it comes infectious, seeping into my home. and again, i find myself hating who i am because even if i love me and they hate me, and i’m fine with that, but what gets me every time is the hate that others receive greater than mine, because i hide away. i’m a quiet gay, you could say.

i can go around and be just fine for the most part, but on those off days that i come to feel so comfortable in myself exactly as i’m made and i want to dare to wear something fashionable in a more fun way, i instantly wonder if i will be okay. if i’ll make it home or if someone will hit me, kill me, abduct me and release all their hate unto me rather than just through the violently, hateful words.

i don’t get it, i never will. i’ve been on both sides, explored so many faiths and philosophies to see everything from every angle, but i still will never understand why some people choose to hate, to hate another human that is merely loving, loving another human or themselves.

to love this self that you say is created in gods image, and whom this god loves so dearly that he killed his only son for. just like you, he loves us in our sin. if you must call our love this.

but, let me just say this. as much as it hurts, i gladly will die and i cry in my sin of true love. i just hope you one day can see that you will die in your sin of hate if you don’t reflect and change your ways.

my heart, overcome with love for all humans exactly as they are in their good and bad, makes me weep, it always has. and i don’t pray, least not in that way, but i do pray that i keep hold of this, this heart, as soft as a baby birds despite all the hate it gets. and i pray that yours too may soften, and actually hear the truth that sings throughout all of time and space; that, above all we should love, and as challenging as it may be, everyone from you to me, that is the whole human race should love no matter what they face. it’s terribly hard but i am grateful for all that i’ve gone through thus far for it has made my heart grow, my mind too, in order to love all humans the way in which i do. i only pray, or wish whatever suits you, that you receive this grace too.

(It seems, pride is still fear. And that i don't know any other way to be)

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mordeiswrld · 1 year

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“Im drained...im unmotivated...im tired...im done. So many hurtful things have been said to me by the ones who were supposed to care for me...i still rememeber it, and some of it still goes on. Why do I remember the things that hurt me...?”

“Wear some makeup maybe that’ll make it better” -because i wouldnt smile for a picture i didnt wanna be in

“She’s a grown woman she knows what she’s doing”- my great grabdmother & mom when i got mad about my siblings (1-2 and 6-7 years old) being out without me and with my grandma who hasnt had a baby in over a decade

“You need to stop dressing that way”- my great grandma when i showed up to my her house in an oversized sweater

“Your too young”- my mom when i told her i wanted a binder and that i was a boy at 11-12 years old

“ive always wanted a boy”- my mom. Then she got what she wanted and started being ‘better’ as if she couldn’t do that with her 1st 2 kids

“Yeah mhm, or girl what?😒”-my mom, dismissing me whenever i try to tell her something im happy about

“You need to start talking to your grandparents”- my mom everytime i ask her for something, now im scared to ask since everything i ask for is “too much” even though she buys herself stuff everyday

“Ill talk to him”- my mom whenever me and my dad get into our fights...it never gets better and she never talks to him and always takes his side

“Shut the fuck up”- my dad whenever i try to explain something to him even if it’s not that serious(its never that serious)

“Stop being selfish”- my dad whenever i say no to my siblings using my stuff that is strictly MINE and that i dont have to share if i dont want to

“Watch your brother” my dad almost all the time everyday and they’ll just be lying around doing nothing with the excuse of ‘i work i need a break’ you dont need a break all damn week while i have to go to school and handle your wild 3 year old while your in your mid 30s

“Sounds like a personal problem” my mom whenever i tell her that I genuinely can't handle my siblings and am on the verge of snapping (violently)

“Maybe if you had a bedtime then yknow...i dont wanna have to say it”- my mom around her friend talking about my low grade in a class and thinking its bc of electronics when in reality my mental health is in hell and ive been crying more than usual and i dont have the motivation to keep pushing on anymore, but she thinks im up at 12:30 bc of a phone...

“Congratulations”- my mom when i show her my all As. But won’t be as nice and be a bit irritated that i got a low C in something she knows I struggle in

“I'm so proud of you”- my dad hugging me for the straight As. He doesnt hug me ever and he never says those words to me. Not even when its a minor accomplishment

“Has your father ever told you he loves you?” my mom years ago in a random parking lot that got me realizing last week that he never says he loves me willingly, he has to be forced

“I'm obligated to be there” my grandfather after getting married and never calling us to see how we are

“Your ___ eye is bigger than your ___” my friend. I always liked my eyes growing up...not anymore

“She ugly as hell” my 9th grade classmate he just says it whenever he can. I dont even have to be talking to him

It’s getting worse day by day...nothing i do is enough...im tired..

admin zjay

#family #mental health issues #family issues #daddy issues #mommy issues #tw depressing thoughts #kinda depressing #tw depressing stuff #mentalheathawareness #thoughts #what do i even do #im too much #im too far gone #im too young for this #im too tired for this #goodnight #im finally done

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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megalony · 4 years

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Kiss the girl- Part 2

This is the second part of my Noah Flynn series from The Kissing Booth Netflix movie, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh

Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: (Y/n) and Lee are best friends but Lee warns his brother away from her, she’s been through a lot and her mental health is suffering. Lee thinks Noah is only going to make (Y/n) worse after what she has suffered, but Noah can’t stay away from her and (Y/n) feels drawn to him.

Enjoy.

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"Lee, it's fine, trust me. It was just a kiss and it wasn't as if he knew it was gonna be me walking out there." (Y/n) linked her arm through Lee's as they slowly made their way into the sea of students dispersing out to the car park ready to go home.

(Y/n) knew her best friend was trying to sound nonchalant and as if everything was okay about the kiss but she could see that inside he was fuming. He was angry his brother had gone and kissed his best friend, in Lee's mind Noah could have done something different, he could have made some excuse or taken (Y/n) back behind the curtain. He could have done something to stop it from happening, especially when he knew how much being in the booth would have made (Y/n) anxious.

Lee just wanted to make sure that it didn't embarrass or make (Y/n) feel uneasy, he knew she used to have a crush on Noah to have him be her first kiss can't be easy.

"You sure? I mean, I told him to stay away because you're not interested-"

"Stop blabbering, just forget about it okay, it's over and done with." (Y/n) knew she would eat her words soon enough because she wasn't telling Lee the truth. It wasn't over and done with because the kiss meant something and both she and Noah knew it. But Lee was persistent and he wanted Noah to stay as far away from (Y/n) as possible, if she told Lee that the kiss meant something and that she didn't want Noah to stay away from her it was only going to to cause arguments that none of them wanted to deal with. It was better to keep Lee ignorant and in the dark for now.

"Right, are we heading home?" Lee started to guide them both over to his car parked over to the left but (Y/n) lightly shook her head causing Lee to pause in his stride to his car. "Do you want a lift somewhere else?"

"I think I'm gonna take a walk into town."

"You sure? Cause I can drive you there or we can go to the arcades if you want some company." Lee's lopsided smile made (Y/n)'s heart drop to her stomach. Here he was trying his best to help her and offer support and companionship so she didn't have to be alone and she was going to lie to him and refuse his help.

Lee had been her strength when she didn't have any, he was her guiding light when she got lost and he was there through everything when he didn't have to be. (Y/n) would never be able to thank Lee enough for everything he did and continued to do for her so lying to him was very hard and it was something (Y/n) had never done before. But if she wanted to be with Noah, lying to Lee was something she was going to have to do a lot more often.

"I'm sure, I want to be out on my own for a while. I'll call you later, promise." (Y/n) nodded reassuringly at Lee so he didn't start to panic or think something was wrong because nothing was wrong.

There was hesitation in Lee's eyes and he could feel his heart hammering against his ribs because he didn't want to be that overbearing friend that didn't trust (Y/n) or always assumed the worst or assumed that she wasn't okay or able to be on her own. But he couldn't help but panic about her when he knew that she didn't want to be on her own after Andrew died, (Y/n) had always either been home with her dad or round at Lee's place because being on her own left her with her demons. She let her thoughts get the better of her when she was on her own and it allowed her to panic freely without control.

But Lee had to trust her.

He had to trust that (Y/n) knew what she wanted to do and knew how to take care of herself and when to let people help her if things got too much. When she had her breakdown last year she let people help her willingly because she didn't want to suffer. If anything like that were to happen again he knew she would ask or let help be given to her.

"Alright, just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"So, basically do everything then." (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders with a playful grin when Lee's jaw dropped and his head started to shake with a small laugh leaving his lips. He pointed at her warningly before he headed to his car and (Y/n) turned on her heels to start walking down the path away from school.

She couldn't meet Noah on school grounds because people would see and if Lee saw or found out all Hell would then break loose. (Y/n) made her way out of school grounds and started to round the corner near the playing field before Noah's dark silver car rolled up beside her.

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"Lee thinks I'm going to hurt you." The small smile that Noah wore on his face was one that didn't hide the concern he held in his eyes when he looked at her.

"Lee thinks that about everyone." (Y/n) slowly dragged her fingers through the sand, tilting her head down so she could watch the grains of sand fall through her fingers rather than look at the expression on Noah's face as he sat beside her on the beach. There was something so calming about the feeling of the sand falling through her fingers, it was like (Y/n) could imagine that the sand was her worries and insecurities and she was letting them slip away and disappear.

"Do you think he's right?"

"I mean, everyone is bound to hurt you at one point or another, whether it's on purpose or not. You might hurt me, Lee might hurt me, I could hurt either or both of you. If someone is close enough to hurt you it means they're special."

(Y/n) knew everyone hurt someone at some point in their lives, she would end up hurting Lee and so would Noah if they decided to make a relationship out of this behind his back. Lee could always do something that would hurt (Y/n) and so could Noah, but if they did something that really got to her or cut to her core then it meant they were close enough to her to hurt her. It meant they were special, and if (Y/n) tried to stay away from everyone she thought would hurt her then she would never have anyone close to her.

"My mum hurt me when she died, she was special to me." (Y/n) stopped running her fingers through the sand when she felt Noah's hand resting over her own.

"I want to be special to you, (Y/n), but I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't think you could hurt me, Noah Flynn."

There was something sad in (Y/n)'s eyes that made Noah feel his heart dropping to his stomach like a stone. It was as if (Y/n) thought he couldn't hurt her because she had been hurt too badly already, like she was a china doll that had already been dropped and smashed and couldn't be broken into any further pieces. Her mum had died and shattered part of her and then Andrew passed away and broke what little there was of her left. If Noah did hurt her (Y/n) knew it would barely scratch the surface and that in turn, hurt him.

"I hope not, you're far too special to risk breaking, (Y/n). But if we're going to do this, we can't tell Lee which means, not telling anyone else either."

"I know Lee's protective but you really think he'll be this upset?" Part of (Y/n) wanted to tell Lee because keeping secrets from her best friend was tiring, just lying to him today was more than (Y/n) wanted to handle. She couldn't imagine how she was going to feel when she had to start properly lying to him about going out and being with Noah.

She knew Lee would be angry with them for wanting to get into a relationship but she didn't know if it was worth all the sneaking about.

"(Y/n)... when we were younger I promised Lee I wouldn't get close to you, he wanted something, a friend, that was just his. Then I promised him I wouldn't go near you or try anything with you because he thinks I'm going to break you. If we tell him Lee will be the one to break."

"Okay, Lee doesn't know. You know he's just looking out for me when he says he thinks you'll break me, don't you? He doesn't think anything bad of you, he thinks he has to protect me from myself."

(Y/n) leaned her head forward so she could rest her cheek on Noah's shoulder before she reached across and took a chip from the bag resting on his lap. She hadn't eaten lunch at school but she was starting to get a bit hungrier now, a reason she knew Noah bought the chips and put them so close to her.

She wanted Noah to know that Lee didn't think badly of him, despite the fights and the arguments he always got into, Lee didn't think his brother was a bad person or a brute or someone who was dangerous. He thought it was his job to keep (Y/n) safe and sane and calm and he thought that if Noah got involved it would break the foundations that had taken so long to repair. It was more that he thought Noah would unsettle everything around (Y/n) rather than hurt her break her.

"I know my brother acts more of a keeper around you than a friend at times, he's hiding you away like you're allergic to the sun. He doesn't have to worry about protecting you all the time, you don't need protecting, especially not from me."

"That's not fair." (Y/n) took another chip from the bag and popped it into her mouth before she tilted her head up to look at Noah. There was a small, calming smile on her lips showing Noah she wasn't about to get angry or start a fight. "Lee saw me at my worst, Noah, he doesn't want to see me like that again, he's just trying to help. I wouldn't have got through last year without him."

"I guess it just bugs me sometimes, Lee warns me your fragile like I'm gonna storm in and crush you or something... I saw you that night, you know?"

"When?"

"I was driving mum to town when your dad called, about Andrew. We turned the car around, she called Lee and we headed over to your place... I stood in the doorway to your house, watched your dad struggle to get you downstairs and I wanted so badly to just take you in my arms and hold you. But then Lee appeared and the moment you saw him, it was like you knew everything would be okay. You let him take you downstairs and sit you down, you let him hold you and cry with you and I thought... why can't I do that? Why can't I help you or help someone like Lee?"

That scene was something Noah replayed over and over in his mind when he found himself lost or confused or stuck in a bad place.

He remembered that day like it was happening in front of him right now. Noah remembered his mother hitting him repeatedly to get him to take the next turning and go to (Y/n)'s house rather than drive her into town. He remembered seeing his mother sobbing for the first time as she called Lee and said something had happened to Andrew.

Noah drove all the way to (Y/n)'s house and stumbled up the path with his mother but when he got one foot inside the house he felt like he had stepped into another dimension. Noah saw (Y/n) screaming at the top of her lungs, he saw her dad fighting to get her to stop trying to go back to Andrew's body. They were almost falling down the stairs, one trying to go down and the other trying to go back up. And in that moment, the only thing Noah wanted to do was run up those stairs and pick (Y/n) up, he wanted to take her in his arms and carry her somewhere safe.

He wanted to hold her and tell her he was there and it was okay, she could scream and cry all she liked and he would just sit and hold her through it all. He wanted her to let out the storm raging inside of her and be able to say that he was the one who would help her. Noah had never helped someone like that before, the most he had done was help an elderly man in the shop. He wanted to do more than that.

He wanted to know that he could do more than just have flings with girls and play sports or have good grades. He wanted to be a good person and help in a way that counts.

But Noah only got to stare at (Y/n) in distress before his little brother came in like a force of nature and changed the atmosphere in the house. Lee bypassed his mother and his elder brother and made a beeline for (Y/n) when he spotted her. The hazel floppy-haired boy ran up those stairs like he was running a marathon and once he got to (Y/n), Noah saw it.

Noah saw the change. (Y/n) had been in so much distress but once Lee was there, that was it. She wrapped her arms around him and let him take her weight, (Y/n) let Lee effortlessly guide her down those stairs, both of them sobbing messes. He took her to the sofa and sat her down and held her like he was glue holding broken pieces together to fix her. Lee let her sob into his neck, he let her scream and hit him and fling her limbs all over the place but he calmed her down without saying one word.

Lee never said anything for the hour that he sat and held (Y/n) but it worked, just his presence calmed her down from a state that mimicked psychosis. Noah had never been jealous of anyone before but in that moment, he had been green-eyed with jealously of the ability his little brother possessed to help someone- to help (Y/n) like that.

"Lee didn't know what he was doing but he did something right... I hurt him Noah. He talked me down from a ledge, he stopped me from doing a lot of stupid shit and he sat there and let me cry without any answers for me, there isn't any manual on how to help someone like that, Lee did that all blindfolded. But Noah Flynn is different, he didn't hold me when I screamed, he ran in and defended me at school when someone started talking about Andrew or asking why I was a prude. You don't have to hold me when I cry in order to help me Noah."

(Y/n) knew over the past year she had pushed Lee to his limits without meaning or intending to do so. When she felt like jumping off the ledge and doing something rash Lee sat calmly and patiently and talked her down and brought her back to safety. When Andrew died Lee held her and calmed her down and cried with her. But Lee did all of that without a manual, he didn't know what he was doing or if what he was doing would help. That was what made him so special to (Y/n).

With Noah it was different but in a good sense. He didn't hold (Y/n) when she was in distress or watch her cry, he protected her from everyone else whereas Lee protected her from herself. Lee made sure she didn't do anything stupid and when (Y/n) first went back to school someone started asking about Andrew, where he was, why he wasn't there and they were trying to rile (Y/n) up because news spread fast when he died. Noah didn't think twice before he barged in and tackled the guy down to the ground.

When someone else tried to ask (Y/n) on a date and then said she was a prude, a stuck up fly on the wall who didn't hardly speak, Noah broke his nose and gave him a black eye for his trouble and almost got himself suspended in the process.

"Well whatever happens, I'm always gonna be here for you." Noah leaned his head down to steal a kiss from her lips before he took one of the chips and placed it between his teeth. He turned his head in her direction, smiling when she kissed him and bit down, eating half the chip resting between his teeth.

Noah wasn't sure if (Y/n) knew Lee had told him about her not eating, but right now, she seemed to be fine with him. Maybe he was having a good effect on her after all.

#noah flynn #noah x reader #noah flynn imagine #lee flynn #the kissing booth #the kissing booth 2 #imagine

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sapiowoman28 · 3 years

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Try (Chapter 6): Madam's Party

Pairing: Mark x Y/N x Johnny

Genre: smut, fluff, undercover au with cranky undercover agents

Warnings: mentions of Mark's mental health issues, brief mention of bathroom sex, drug use, Jaehyun is miserable, Doyoung is back, Taeyong saves the day, mentions of a fight. Oh, and Ten doesn't like women hitting on him.

Note: the next few chapters after this one and the next will focus more on the relationship between Johnny and Y/N as well as the dynamic between Doyoung and Y/N.

Mark watched the screen as his online payment went through. He had just booked his tickets for his trip to London. This time he planned to stay 2 weeks.

He had learned his lesson. That one time a year or two ago he stayed there for a month, and it was a total disaster. He came back with his head all messed up, panicking about life in general.

Then both Taeyong and Y/N convinced him to do some online therapy thing and things got better. He was in a better head space now. He was no longer a nervous wreck, overthinking his life and his future. But he kept his trips short. The London weather just didn't agree with him, and he didn't really enjoy the vibe there.

His phone beeped. He picked it up to see who had texted.

"Hey." it was Y/N. He missed his best friend terribly. But he wasn't sure if he was ready to talk.

"Hi." he replied after 2 minutes of staring at the message.

"You going for the party?"

"Yeah. With Kun and Lucas."

"I'm going too."

"With Doyoung?" he smiled to himself. "I heard he's going."

"Mark Lee! You never change do you?" he could imagine her looking exasperated. He giggled to himself.

Silence. He put his phone back down.

It dinged again a minute later. It was her.

"I should have used the safe word when you did what you did. Instead i just continued and got resentful. And made you leave after that."

"I should have been gentle.... I'm sorry Y/N."

"Maybe we need to talk about no go areas. Johnny thinks three of us should have dinner next week and talk. We're all new to this you know."

"I'm going to London next week. For two weeks."

"Can I go too? I really want to meet that weird uncle of yours who believes in aliens."

They ended up talking on the phone, catching up about life the past 2 weeks. Neither of them mentioned the incident again. The discomfort was still a little too fresh in their minds. But they were glad they were talking again.

The party was in full swing when Y/N arrived at half past 11. Yuta had indeed booked the entire VIP section and just about everyone was there. A small group of people had formed around Doyoung, fussing over him and his crutches and he was enjoying every bit of attention he was given. She rolled her eyes.

She wasnt sure if she was ready to face him yet. Their relationship had been terse since that incident where she punched him in the face during a heated argument. in the middle of an operation. in fact when Doyoung got into an accident during the next operation she was a little relieved he would be out for a while to recover. Now he was a little more mobile, it sure looked like he would be back sooner rather than later.

But having to deal with Taeyoung was worse. At least Doyoung recognised she was the best person to get advice on technology matters, and respected her recommendations. So maybe Doyoung being back would be a good thing. She decided to walk over. Doyoung had spotted her, and there was no escape now anyway.

"DDDDDDD!!!!!!" she shrieked excitedly hoping she was at least a little convincing.

"Oh my! Y/N! You are looking good! Must be the glow of love?" Doyoung winked as they hugged.

Stupid Taeyong. He couldn't ever stop talking about Johnny to everyone.

"I see Taeyong's told you."

"Yes, of course, he really really approves." Doyoung whispered. "I just hope you're behaving?"

Y/N sighed. The legacy of her and Mark was always going to be there. No escape. She wished they'd get over it for once. It only happened the first 6 months of her joining the unit. They had already declared each other as best friends a year ago. But everyone still insisted they had a thing for each other.

Some other person faked shrieked at Doyoung and she left as soon as she could, taking a seat at the bar to people watch, ordering a drink. She scanned the room, cursing silently as she saw Ten approaching.

She wasn't in the mood to talk about work now. He wasn't pleased with the first draft of her report, and wanted to make changes she didn't approve of. The guy had something stuck up his ass. It always had to be done his way, but it just wasn't always the best way to go about things.

"Hi my dear!" Ten gave her a kiss on both her cheeks. "Looking good! Heard from Taeyong you have a boyfriend now."

She was going to kill Taeyong.

"You look hot, Ten. I love your shirt! Are the girls throwing themselves at you again?" she grinned.

Ten grimaced. "I seriously don't want to talk about it."

"You're so handsome, I don't blame them you know." she pinched his cheek. He laughed.

"About the report you emailed me." he started.

"I saw your email. But i don't wanna talk about work tonight, Ten. Can we just have fun?" she pouted.

"Fine. I'll call you on Monday. Anyway i just came over to say hi and tell you how good you're looking. I've to go back to the guys. I've been tasked to keep an eye on Jaehyun tonight. He's being a little heavy with the drinking."

"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" they turned to look. Mark.

"Hello stranger." Y/N grinned. Mark looked adoringly at her.

"I promise I won't tell anyone." said Ten, slipping away. "Your boyfriend won't ever find out!"

"What's wrong with him?" mark asked.

"He's been tasked with babysitting Jae."

"Oh man. Dude must be in a totally angsty mood now."

"Yeah this party isn't helping, you know. It's like Yuta rubbing in his face, 'I got a promotion, Jaehyun! I got a promotion! Yay!!!'"

"And you're drinking?" he tasted her gin and tonic. "You can't even handle the alcoholic content of Kombucha."

"Mark Lee! I swear to god! I was not tipsy on Kombucha that time. You need to stop telling that story to everyone. I can hold my liquor!" Y/N faked strangled him as he giggled.

Their eyes met. And the laughing stopped.

"I missed you." he said.

"You were the one who refused to talk to me. For two fucking weeks, Mark Lee! Two weeks!" she chided.

"You didn't talk to me either."

"I wanted to give you space."

"Thanks. I needed time to think."

"Are you done thinking?"

"Yeah.

"What's the conclusion."

"I agree with you guys that we need to discuss no-go areas. We can do that when I'm back."

"Ok. As long as your mind is not fucked up like that time... "

"It was just one time, Y/N! Just one time!"

"I'm just teasing you baby. Im glad therapy has helped you feel more grounded." She smiled. "I'm proud of your progress you know."

"I miss you calling me baby." he grabbed her hand.

"Mark, people are watching. I bet Kun's watching us now." she scanned the room, catching Kun's eye at the other side of the bar where he was with Lucas and Doyoung. Kun, realising he had been caught watching, looked away after shaking his head.

"Idiot." she cursed. "Maybe we should put on a show to irritate him."

Mark giggled.

"I can't believe Lucas and Doyoung are hanging out." Y/N nudged Mark, whose eyes grew huge upon realising that they were indeed siting together.

"Lucas fucking hates him, yo!"

"Well Doyoung doesn't like Lucas much either. Which makes this funny."

"Half the people here don't like the other half. They're all pretending."

"So are you pretending to like me too Mark Lee?"

"What do you think, Y/N?"

"You love me." she grinned.

"Well you love me too." he winked then stiffened. This conversation was getting odd. Y/N looked away.

They spent the evening in a comfortable silence, watching the party get rowdier and rowdier as more people joined. Some people started to bring out the magical stuff and it was downhill from there.

Y/N knew she was done for the night when she needed the rest room, only to enter it and find Yuta with his lady bent over the sink, him screwing her. She froze, they stopped to look at her, eyes dilated from whatever drug they had taken.

"Er. Hi guys!" she chirped awkwardly.

"Y/N!!!" Yuta exclaimed excitedly as Madam giggled. "Hi Y/N!"

"Bye!" she grinned.

she turned around stomping off. She needed to pee. Badly. There was only one person who could help her.

"Taeyong!" She yelled as she stomped towards him. He was talking to Mark and Taeil. All three of them looked at her.

"Hmm. Someone looks crossed." Taeyong teased. She wasn't in the mood for teasing.

"I need to pee urgently, but your two best friends are in there screwing. You're the only person who can sort this out, Tae! Please, put your tyrant nature to good use?"

Mark laughed hysterically as Taeil shook his head and smiled.

"Your wish is my command, Miss Y/N" Taeyong laughed before strding to the female restroom to scare them out.

"And you thought your unit was dysfunctional." Taeil said to Y/N who burst out laughing.

Taeyong came back after completing his task, and Y/N raced to the washroom, glad to finally be able to pee. She washed her hands, and was touching up her lipstick when she heard Mark's voice.

"Er. Y/N?" He stood at the door awkwardly.

"Mark, what the heck?"

"I think we should leave. A fight broke out."

"what happened?"

"I think Jaehyun challenged Yuta to a fist fight."

Y/N sighed. Maybe Taeil was right about his unit. And yes, it was time to call it a night. But she was hungry.

"Supper?" she asked Mark. His eyes lit up as he nodded his head.

#nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct mark #nct taeyong #nct taeil #nct yuta #wayv kun #wayv ten #wayv lucas #nct doyoung #nct jaehyun

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scoopsgf · 3 years

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BEEDEE HI i've limited myself to being on tumblr only once or twice a day and i can't tell if it's better or worse for my mental health but it makes me feel like i'm trying yk.. here's a jess question:

how do you think things would have gone post dean&jess fight if jess had told rory he wasn't graduating and had worked things out with luke? basically, how would he have been throughout the show if he had stayed? it keeps me up at night i wanna hear your take <33

first off GOOD FOR U!!!!! i wish I had the strength to limit my time on here 🥺 unfortunately my fomo is too intense

second: g o d what a good question. i feel like by that point the miscommunication between rory and jess was at its pinnacle, and from there it was bound to go one of two ways—either it fell apart, or they finally broke their cycle and had an honest conversation about everything they were feeling. i like to think if it’d gone the other way, we might have gotten another bridge scene and a really raw talk between them about what happened with school & maybe even stuff about his childhood. i also read a fic once where he takes Rory around New York and shows her places he grew up/talks to her about everything he’s been through (they also ate pie or something in a diner and it was adorable but ANYWAY): I think if he’d stayed, he wouldn’t have gone back to high school. I still definitely contend that he would’ve gotten his GED, but I think it might have been more Lorelai’s idea/something she encouraged him to do because it’s what she did (I think?) after having Rory. it’s also interesting just to think about how that summer could have gone with rory still going to Europe and all. i kind of like to think he would have gotten closer to Lane and Dave as a result, and having them would also make the back and forth of Rory coming and going to Yale more bearable. he might’ve been able to help Lane and her band get gigs in NY via old connections (though I doubt they would have been great gigs, maybe just college parties etc etc) and he maybe would have gotten a second job more locally, like working in black-white-read in addition to working at Luke’s (bc I feel like working is v important to him/saving money and having a financial security blanket, esp after the way he grew up). anyway this is like best case scenario jdjfjfnf and I kind of think he and rory might still have taken some time, or they would have taken advantage of the long distance with her being in Europe to get some space. I still think they would have ended up together tho. LMAO THIS IS NONSENSICAL IM SORRY I LOVE YOU!!!!

#asks #merijaans #jess mariano #gilmore girls #julian tag

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nataliaphantomhivesblog · 3 years

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Happy birthday to: Ciel Phantomhive

You might cringe a bit while reading this but hes a major comfort character to me so yeah, expect me to go off here.

First I would like to start off with listing some of his best traits:

An exceptional leader.

Inspires unsweving loyalty in his servants.

Hardworker.

Genuienly concerned for the well-being of his loved ones.

Attentive to the needs of everyone, especially his servants.

Intelligent yet childish.

Competitive.

He can be caring, even though he tries to hide it.

He is patient. (people can argue about this but if he wasn't patient he would've gotten rid of Soma and many others given the opportunity.)

He is kind. Even to Sebastian sometimes.

He is mentally strong (people can also debate about this but if I was in his shoes I would've been far worse than him.)

Determined.

Courageous.

Ambigious.

Makes his servants feel at home.

Inspires people to be better. (For example: His servants, Prince Soma and Sieglinde Sullivan)

Has great capacity for love, even though hes hesitant to show affection.

He is understanding.

Fun facts about O!Ciel

He enjoys reading, especially mystery novels.

Hates spicy food. (However he did enjoy the curry bread given to him by Agni and Soma)

Can speak fluently in French and understands Latin.

Struggles with German but does understand a few words.

Enjoys horseback riding.

He is extremly fond of sweets.

O!Ciel's favorite flower is the Sterling Silver Rose.

His favorite animals are horses and dogs.

He despises bad food, but is willing to only eat it for diplomatic reasons.

O!Ciel is the second most popular Kurusitsuji character.

He used to bealive in Santa and when his brother told him Santa isn't real he stayed up all night trying to confirm Santa's existence.

He calls Tanaka "Grandpa".

Enjoys milk with honey.

Favorite quotes by O!Ciel:

"What of it? You're another person, so of course you look different. What is there to be ashamed of?"

"I am indeed arrogant. However, im not so arrogant as to boast irresponsiably that I could save anyone."

"We have no need for the past. All we need are the present and future."

"I won't stop you if you want to become a doctor and live quietly in a remote village with Wolfram, because you're my friend. But, because you're my friend, I'm also certain of one thing. You'll never be able to stop learning. New knowledge. New expiriences. The more of them you gain, the more you'll want to apply them to the creation of something brand new."

"If we are to die one day, wouldn't it be better to have no regrets?"

"After all, justice in this world is just a bunch of principles, made by those with power to suit themselves."

"Is there truly any human who is not arrogant?"

Once Again, Happy birthday!

I know there is no way in hell he could ever see this, But honestly I couldn't care less. I am grateful to Yana Toboso for creating such a fantastic, Well-written character. He is a type of character in which I can greatly sympathize with and understand.

Despite his extremly morally ambigious traits, I admire him greatly. Because he is someone who despite everything he's been through, he keeps moving forward and is determined to win, no matter the circumstances.

I won't get very personal in this area but the way he deals with trauma and the way his ptsd is depicted as is something I can relate to big time. Im glad Yana took the time to show it accurately.

I just wish I could go up to him and give him a big hug because he really needs one. I am so proud of him and everything he has accomplished.

With everything going on in the manga, I know his mental health is probably in the worst spot right now, but I hope he continues to be strong.

I love him so much and I know many people of the Kurusitsuji fandom think the same! The fact he is very loved outside the story and also very loved inside Kurusitsuji as well is something that makes me very happy.

Its actually sad that in the same day of his birthday he lost everything dear to him. But I am so proud of him for having the courage to keep fighting.

Happy birthday Ciel, I love you<3

(oh and happy birthday to this little bitch too I guess.)

#black butler #ciel phantomhive #comfort character #o!ciel #o!ciel phantomhive #Kurusitsuji #Kurusitsuji text post #R!Ciel phantomhive #R!ciel #Fictional characters

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420pogpills · 3 years

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Hello i hope you dont mind me rambling a bit? You can ignore this if you want to, i just wanted to give a sort of response and my opinion to all the asks about George being killed a lot in the dsmp as a bit and such (this is kind of long sorry about that);

I just wanted to say that im p sure George is the type to have a lot of patience but im also p sure hes very honest with what he feels; atleast from what weve seen recently.

Like Dream has said in his previous alt stream, whenever he asks George about his opinion, he doesnt sugar coat things, he even contradicts Dream's ideas if he believes its wrong. It kind of shows that George isint afraid of stating what he feels and what his opinions are if he believes it to be true; hes very stubborn, and he doesnt mind being argumentative if he wants to be (stated by Dream in Quackitys therapy session)

Another more obvious take would be that Quackity stream where they were making El Rapids, George did not hesitate to bring up being uncomfortable with Quackity making 'bad friend gnf' bits; he even got somewhat aggresive in how he stated it, saying that theres a posibility that people would believe the lies and thats why he doesnt want it to continue. And you can see that Quackity understood that and actually stopped doing that bit and respected George's boundaries

Another thing is that sometimes, George encourages the conflict that starts the whole 'kill gnf thing' i mean, not all the time of course, but there has been multiple instances where he annoys/sasses Sapnap enough to warrant his aggresion, like saying hes out the gang, or flirt-acting with Karl, etc. I know thats very light hearted banter that should not result on gnf dying but there is also multiple times where he would suddenly try to kill Sapnap whenever he was afk, heck, sometimes even Dream

You see, George is a little shit, he would and will initiate a reaction to garner attention, sometimes even be the catalyst for it

Theres moments where its not justified, killing him fr something as simple as a bit does get old, but its obviously something theyve done multiple times in the past (old dream team videos and such) you can see that killing each other is just part of their affection fr one another

Case and point that one stream where GNF killed Dream so many times that Dream actually raged enough to swear, bang his desk and leave the room; like yo, this is a regular thing fr them, George just has the unfortunate bad end of the stick in terms of fighting back, but that doesnt mean the 'killing each other fr shits n giggles' isint reciprocated in their friend group;

Sometimes he even encourages it! Not the dying of course, but he seems to like the rush of being hunted down (no manhunt pun intended lol) but theres a lot of moments where he likes to be fake-hunted, the most recent one being Quackity and him putting the manhunt music and making Q run after him, theres also rare instances where he lets Sapnap fake chase him around as he giggles in the background, a good one that i can give is an old vod where George gets chased down by Awesamdude and they were doing a wierd hide and seek with the trident, he doesnt want to die, but he does seem to have fun running away and being chased by his friends

Like all of those seem to point to George not really minding it, and if it something he doesnt like, im p sure hes old enough to decide in his life what he wants to do with it

Trust me when i say i totally understand what the anon is feeling, cz honestly, i feel the same way at times, cz i dont like gnf to keep dying too cz it does get repetitive, and i do get megative seeing it at times too; but we have to remember that these are George's friends not ours. He decides who he want to be with and he decides what he believes to be right or wrong. His boundaries are different than ours, he could be more patient on these things or he could not even care about it at all, we wouldnt know cz we arent him

And at the end of the day, these people are who George obviously cares about, he has talked with them offline and personally for hours on end, he has prolly lost a fuck ton of sleep, and has the worse sleep schedule cz of these people, if he really doesnt like them or doesnt like what theyre doing to him, i dont think he would spend all his time, day and effort just to talk to them and help them. (But ofcourse these are just my opinions and my speculations from what weve seen, i dont know ot fr sure)

So whenever things get painful to watch, or something you dont like is happening, take a breather, take a break and dont watch for a bit, cz thats what i do; your mental health is more important than forcing yourself to watch something negative you dont like. Put yourself out of that position and take a moment to relax and remember that theyre all friends in the end, and that you dont have to worry so much okay? :]

Sorry if that was too long and rambly >_<

very good points made! :) i don’t even have much to add on that haha

at the end of the day, we see the surface level of them and their friendships. they stream for a few hours a couple times a week if we’re lucky, but talk to each other every single day, for most of the day probably. so there’s a lot we don’t know and don’t see.

george will stand up for himself when he needs to :) ❤️ we don’t need to defend him from his friends

#ask #forgedraptor #long post #discourse #georgenotfound #cw negative

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nerd-at-sea5 · 2 years

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staying safe

robin tends to attract bullies and nancy has a lot of anxiety