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theessaflett · 11 months

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Moss

Elisabeth Flett

Eyes blurred with tears, I thrashed through the weeds and foliage at the edges of the woods, too angry to care about the burn of nettle stings as I pushed forward, away from the village, away from Alex’s words and Alex’s eyes.

“I’m not like you. I’m not strong.”

I didn’t feel strong now, already covered in mud from my half-run across the field, the bottoms of my jeans stiff with muck. The branches of an oak scraped against my face as I stumbled along, not even knowing where I was going except from that it needed to be far away from where I’d just been. Alex’s kitchen, always faintly smelling of freshly baked bread, her art hung on the wall, her collection of Disney mugs sitting on the shelf. She’d built that shelf herself when she was fourteen, her father handing her the nails. The fact it still hadn’t fallen down said a number of things about her. Her durability. Her determination. Her ability to hold onto the things she created, no matter the cost.

Even if those things included a life built on a lie.

“I’m not strong.”

She hadn’t thought to mention that when we’d met outside the corner shop last August, when sunsets still smeared the sky late into the night and the world seemed softer around the edges. Hadn’t said it out loud as we lay on my sofa watching Halloween films instead of going out with her friends.

“I just want time with you, Jessie. Just you. Why are you acting like that’s a bad thing?”

She’d fallen silent over the Christmas holidays, yes, the occasional texts distant and lacking detail. Yes, she’d liked my presents. I knew without asking she hadn’t opened them in front of her family.

No, she was still at her grandparents.

Yes, she’d let me know when she was back.

No. Yes. No.

Still, I clung to her. Her honey blonde hair, her freckles, her slight overbite, the scar just above her knee where she’d fallen off her skateboard aged eight because she wanted to prove her brother wrong about what girls could and couldn’t do.

“I’m not strong.”

I knew this was coming, of course I knew this was coming. It hadn’t ever hurt this badly before. But then, none of those other girls had been Alex. What did I think would happen when I went over there in this January gloom, when I knew she was back home not because she told me, but because I saw her car parked outside her father’s bakery? My ability to wilfully ignore what’s right in front of me is unparalleled but even I knew that it was over when I saw the stricken look in Alex’s eyes as she opened the door and realised it was me on the other side.

Coughed. Fumbled her words. Stared at the floor.

Invited me in only to smash me into bits.

In that minute, in that field, I hated her. Hated her shitting awful parents. Hated this damp, middle of nowhere wee village with one bus stop, nowhere open after 5pm and about forty B&Bs full of city dwelling hill walking idiots.

My momentum began to slow, breath fogging in the air as cold began to creep in and my anger began to ebb, replaced with a far less welcome aching sadness.

I could hear my mother’s voice, comforting me as I cried on the staircase of my childhood home, heart freshly broken from my childhood sweetheart.

“She’s just scared, love. Her father’s the minister, after all. People do cruel things when they’re scared. Especially to those they care about.”

I stopped walking, suddenly aware that I’d known where I was headed all along.

The woods at the edge of the village were thick, a dense dark green which both welcomed and warned. I’d loved crawling through the torn, rusting iron fence and exploring around inside as a child. One time I’d gotten lost, horribly so, and had wandered around for what felt like hours before finally finding my way back. My mum said that I swore a “moss man” helped me find my way out to the fields, though I didn’t remember that part myself and it had always sounded like one of her tall tales. She’d always loved stories.

I was at the heart of the wood now, the only sounds muffled bird song and whispering leaves. Everything felt different, somehow, now that I’d stopped to notice. I was aware of my breath, coming fast. The cold numbing my hands, the nettle stings covering my bare forearms, the feeling of my thin cotton shirt, sleeves rolled up at the elbows, the material stuck to my back with rapidly cooling sweat. I didn’t need to be told to know that this was where I’d gotten lost as a child. The moss man. Ghille Dhu. Friend to all children. Protector of the trees. I certainly felt like a lost child again, adrift and afraid, and I wouldn’t mind a protector. Just for a little bit. For a moment, whilst I pulled myself back together. It was tiring, being this lonely.

I tilted my head up to the sky, my view obscured by snaking branches and thick foliage. I remembered a rhyme taught to me in nightlight darkness, my mother tucking in my duvet as she told yet another tale. She’d told me to turn anti-clockwise as I said the words and I found myself doing so, a strange sense of deja vu coming over me. I remembered it now, the time I’d been here before as a little girl. I wondered if the Ghille Dhu still lived here, what with the forest being cut down more every year. Perhaps he’d gone off to seek better woods, if that was something that faeries could even do.

“Ghille Dhu, Ghille Dhu, don’t let the woods take me. Aon, dha trì…let me see what I can see…”

I stopped turning and looked around, waiting for something to do…something. Nothing. I Tried to recall what had happened last time but it was still just a vague blur. Ghille Dhu was a spirit for children, after all, and I’d left my childhood behind a long time ago. I wasn’t meant to remember him, not now. A bad feeling began to twist in my stomach. I’d had no right to try and summon a faerie that wasn’t meant for me. A biting chill began to snake through the light breeze, the air turning icy. I realised that the wind in the branches was the only sound to be heard, now that the birds had stopped singing. When had the birds stopped singing? Shit.

Too late I remembered my mother’s other stories about those who lived in the woods, the sorts of spirits that took children somewhere else entirely than back to their own safe beds. The sky was darkening now, the breeze turning insistent. Cynicism abandoned, I frantically fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, taking it off only to hastily pull the sleeves inside out and then put the shirt back on again, still outside in. I was about to unbutton my jeans to turn them inside out too when a voice startled me so badly I yelped, nearly falling over instead.

“I see you’re not completely stupid, then.”

I jerked my head round to try and see the owner of the bored sounding voice, the wind whipping my short, choppy hair into my eyes.

“Hello?” I croaked, regaining my balance as the wind died down back into the soft lull it had been just a few moments ago.

“I’m not who you tried to summon,” said the voice again. It was a voice made out of fog, of mouldering bark and three day old mud.

“But I think you’re a bit old for the Ghille, don’t you?”

Without warning, she was there, standing right in front of me.

Moss stained hands and eyes like stone

The forest itself seemed to be whispering now, the words snaking around me like tree roots.

Show me where I’m meant to go

Woman full of green and gold

Show me what I’m meant to know

I realised that my own mouth was making the words, with a voice which was not my own. I tried to turn, to run, but the forest had me now.

Hair like lichen, skin like bark, I promise I can pay your price

Promise once, I’ll promise twice, promise for a different life

“I’m not-“ I mumbled, stumbling back and tripping over my own feet in my desperate need to get some distance between myself and the figure standing in front of me. Or at least, almost standing in front of me; depending on which way I looked at her she was either there or not; she flickered and blurred round the edges, more a suggestion of a person than anything solid.

“That wasn’t-“

“Those were the words you should’ve said, lass,”

The figure calmly strolled over to where I floundered in the mouldering leaves, trying to regain my balance but only managing to slide around in the mud.

“But you’ve said them now so no ill done, eh?”

“Should’ve?” I managed, giving up trying to get back up on my feet and just lying there in the dirt instead, frozen in terrified confusion.

“Aye. Well, it’s me you’ll be wanting. No need to bother my brother, eh?”

“…Brother?”

“Good goddess woman, are you a cuckoo?”

I had nothing to say to that, so just mutely stared up at her, my thoughts a jumble of hysteria.

Surely this was it. What would death by faerie even look like?

How long would it take for anyone to realise I’d vanished?

Would Alex be suspected of something, being the last person to see me alive, my jumper and coat still hung neatly on the back of the chair at the dinner table?

Or maybe she’d just hide them, pretend she’d been alone all afternoon.

Glad to see me gone.

“You got a name, lass?”

The question cut through my panicked internal rambling.

The woman was peering down at me, more solid now.

Her eyes were wrong, a flinty grey that belied her otherwordliness, but the rest of her now looked like a middle aged mother currently in a new age phase which probably included mushroom foraging and experimenting with weed.

Her clothes were loose, draping folds of fabric in lush shades of green, brown and black. Her hair was salt-and-pepper grey and dark, dark brown, corkscrew curls which exploded out in all directions.

She did not look unkind; she looked exasperated.

“J-“ my voice had stopped working, and only a croak came out.

I swallowed, and tried again. “Jessie. Jessie Macrae.”

“Aye, I remember you. Got a habit of getting lost in here, haven’t you Jessie?” Twice didn’t seem to entirely deserve the label of habitual behaviour but I kept my mouth shut.

“What’s your name?” I asked, my voice still cracked around the edges.

“You can call me Mairead. I don’t have time for all that pageantry my siblings love so much. Those that call me are too old for that sort of thing.”

“Who do call you?”

“There are many ways to be lost, Jessie. I’m here for those who need more than a lit lamp and a guiding hand. Come. Walk with me.”

Dazed with the strangeness of it all, I hesitantly joined her as she strode off across the forest floor, keeping pace as we moved yet further into the depths of the woods. The trees seemed to be blurring at the edges as we walked, a sensation of falling both simultaneously downwards and upwards making me stumble as I tried to keep up with Mairead. She patted my arm absentmindedly.

“Don’t give it mind, lass. You’re in my woods now. Not meant for humans.”

Before I could think about how worrying a sentence that was the other woman turned to me, a frown on her face.

“Now. Jessie. What do you need to find?”

I opened my mouth to say that nothing was lost, that this was all a terrible mistake, that I should never have come here, to beg to go home.

Instead I found myself talking, talking like I’d never talked before, not to Alex, not to my mother, not even to myself. I spoke of sadness, the heavy blackness that sat on my chest in the middle of the night, too terrible to name. I spoke of heartsickness, of heartbreak, of loving without being loved in return, of the second-hand pride flag sellotaped to my bedroom wall, of quiet despair and mouldering dreams. I spoke of aloneness, of hope, of shouldering expectations and tiny rebellions. In that place in-between everything, nothing left apart from Mairead and the smell of moss, I spoke myself into the air until the air had heard everything, held everything.

Until I was empty and hollow, and wanting for nothing but an answer.

“How do I fix this, Mairead? How do I fix me?”

She clicked her tongue, frustrated with me yet again. “The second question is a daft one, and you know it. Nothing needs fixing about you, except perhaps your sense of direction. No, the first question is the interesting one and that’s for sure. How do you want to fix it? You believe yourself to be lost.

Which path do you want to find?”

And then, with a final blurred step, I found myself at the edge of the woods, staring at the rusty metal fence I’d crawled through… I checked my watch. Just a few minutes previously. That…couldn’t be right…?

I glanced down at my clothes, still inside out, my breath uneven. Then, with a briskness borne out of a sudden decision, I rolled my shirt sleeves down my goosebumped arms and struck out for the house I’d called home for too many years. Nothing had changed, as far as I could see; the fields still dimly stretched out towards the mountains, the air still icy with January fog. Nothing, except for me. The more I thought about it as I trudged towards the village, the more I wasn’t sure about what exactly had happened inside the woods. By the time I’d reached my front door I was fairly sure that the only unusual thing about that long, aimless walk was that I hadn’t died of hypothermia wandering around with no coat.

But by the time I was standing in the shower, water turned to boiling, I knew what I needed to do next. I’d spent too long in this small life, holding onto small hopes.

The village still talks about how I left the next day, just two suitcases and my guitar thrown in the back of my mother’s rusting Ford Fiesta and the house keys left with an elderly neighbour too confused to ask questions. Alex was coming out of her father’s bakery as I drove by, her face tired. I’d left her a note before I’d packed the car, slid under her door along with the DVD she’d leant me last November. Perhaps she would read it. Perhaps she wouldn’t. For now, though, it was time to look forwards, not back. A voice I wasn’t entirely sure was my own was whispering in my head, and I knew it was right.

I had a new path to find.

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freddiefiction · 3 years

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Freddie loved Mary the most. Thor said he trusted her above everyone else, that they were soulmates. He left her his house, all his possessions and she's the only one who knows where his ashes are scattered. Freddie said himself that none of his other lovers could compare to Mary. They may not have been in a romantic relationship anymore but she was clearly the most important person in his life. If Jim was really his husband, why did he leave him such a tiny amount of money, the same as the other help? Why did Jim never know where his ashes were scattered? There's a reason Mary inherited everything, because she was no.1 in Freddie's life.

*heavy sigh*

I'm honestly tired of this discourse, so any more asks like this will just be deleted in the future. But for the sake of my own sanity, I'll entertain your points.

Yes, Freddie loved Mary. No one here has ever refuted that, certainly not me. But who are you to say that he loved her "the most"? Freddie loved many people and, like most people, valued them all on the same level. Implying that he put Mary on a pedestal and believed her to be superior to his other loved ones doesn't paint the best picture of him, IMO.

Thor did say those things. He also said in the same thread that he had exaggerated Mary's importance to avoid the wrath of angry fans. He went on to talk about Mary's cold behaviour after Freddie's death and how poorly she treated his friends and staff. Thor has always maintained that Freddie was very much in love with Jim, and he has no reason to lie.

People often use the argument that Freddie left GL to Mary as proof that Mary was "his true love." What they fail to realise is that leaving the house to Mary was the most sensible solution. Mary was a business woman whose job was to manage Freddie's finances; she was used to handling large amounts of money and had been in the public eye long enough to deal with the press. Jim, on the other hand, was one of ten children who grew up in poverty and had a hard time managing his money simply because he wasn't used to having it. Plus, the press would have had a field day if Freddie's "gay lover" had inherited the house; Jim and his family would have been harassed to within an inch of his life. On top of that, Freddie had promised the house to Mary long before he ever met Jim, because he felt like it was his duty to take care of her. And if that's still not enough to convince you - Jim straight up said he didn't want to live in Garden Lodge without Freddie. From what I understand, Mary hasn't been allowed to change anything about GL, so the place is more of a museum than a proper home. Imagine having to remain in your partner's house but you're not allowed to change anything, so you're constantly stuck in the past? I personally couldn't do it. It would drive me insane.

I don't know much about the situation with the ashes, so I won't comment too much on it. But as far as I know, we only have Mary's word that Freddie wanted her, and only her, to know where he ashes were left. Jim claims that Freddie openly discussed it with them both and it wasn't that much of a secret. I'm not going to start an argument about who is telling the truth, but I do find it hard to believe that Freddie wouldn't even want his own parents to know where his remains were.

I feel like a lot of Freddie's comments to the press about Mary were another way of protecting his sexuality. Mary herself admitted that she had no idea Freddie had said those things until she read the interviews after his death. That's a bit...odd, don't you think? Surely if he thought of her as a "wife," and his "only friend," he would have told her so to her face. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he didn't mean it when he said he trusted her and that she was a true friend - I just believe he was exaggerating with all the "she's the only one I can trust, she's my only friend," and stuff like that. We know that's not true; there were plenty of people in Freddie's life who he trusted and he had many friends aside from her.

£500,000 is not a "tiny amount of money." Yeah, it was dwarfed by what Mary inherited, but it was in no way "tiny." As for the ashes, as I mentioned before, Jim claimed that Freddie discussed with him where he wanted his remains to be buried. Whether you believe him or not is entirely up to you.

I'm not really the best person to speak on this subject, because I'm mostly just parroting what other, more well-researched blogs have said. But as I said before, I'm over this topic. I believe that Freddie loved both Mary and Jim, in different ways, and he didn't view either one as "superior" to the other. But if you disagree, that's your prerogative. Just don't bring it to my inbox please.

#ask #anon response #i'm sticking to fanfiction from now on #my head hurts from all this bs that's been going down lately

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hiphop-rap-and-basketball · 3 years

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Ya lil’ Glasses | LaMelo Ball One Shot

Pairing: LaMelo Ball x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,588

Summary: You and LaMelo Ball both attend UCLA for undergrad. Of course he happens to be that hype kid the class that’s loud with his friends. You both get paired up to do a project together for the class. He’s kind of mean and pokes fun and although he gets on your last nerve, you may or may not find him just a little tiny bit cute. Maybe.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, smut, mentions of sex, female and male anatomy, orgasm control, possibly cliche, M/F.

A/N: damn forgive me it’s been a while since I’ve written smut, butttt I’m on a roll with writing lately soo that’s not stopping me. Let me know what y’all think ;) enjoyyyyy and happy reading

•••

You cannot believe you were paired up with Melo Ball for the most important assignment of this course for the semester. Yeah, it’s UCLA but they really just let any good sports player in and you cared about your education. He did not. All he did was mess around and crack jokes

with his friends in the class. Imagine acting like that in college, couldn’t be you.

When it came down to finally finding a time to work on it together, you could not wait to get it over with.

The first time you met with him for the project was in the common hall. You both settle down in your chairs and you pull out your laptops. As soon as Melo pulled his stuff out, he hopped on his phone.

“Can we just come up with an idea and be done today?” You ask, not really in the mood to ask for his full attention.

He looked at you before clicking his phone off and licking his lips.

“Yeah sorry, sorry, I gotchu.”

You cannot help but roll your eyes. He sits there in silence for a moment and actually starts shooting out ideas. You start writing them down until you finally agree on one.

“I think that’s a pretty good start,” you say, proud you guys at least got something down.

“I think so too. What you doing after this?” He asks, running his hands over his curls.

“Track practice at 4, shower, hopefully dinner after,” you say as you close up your laptop.

“You run track? Running is gross,” he laughs.

“How you gonna say running is gross when all you do is run up and down the court?” You ask, a little too loudly, someone shushes you and you both crouch down and begin whispering.

“Basketball is more than that,” he shot back, “you wouldn’t know.”

“Oh here we go, you all say that,” you respond, flicking your wrist at him.

“You all?? What that mean?” He asks.

“As in all the basketball players,” you laugh.

“Yeah yeah, you let me know when track become a real sport,” he fires back.

“It is!” You slam your fist on the table and he smirks, as if he is happy to get you all riled up.

“Mhmmm,” he replies.

“Over this conversation,” you say, getting up and throwing your backpack over your shoulder.

“When you trying to meet next?” He asks calmly, standing up close in front of you. You were looking up at him now, him being more than a foot taller than you made you feel small.

“I’m free all afternoon Wednesday, my class ends at 12:45p.m.”

“You would know when your class ends, nerd.” He responded.

You cock a brow at his attempt at a roast.

“Shut up,” you responded.

“Wednesday at 2p.m. Your dorm. How’s that sound?” He smiles.

“That works,” you shrug. He smiled at you before walking away. You both go your separate ways.

Wednesday came around quickly. Your head hurts today, so you decided to put your glasses on instead of wearing contacts. Even though you knew that would not help you deal with Melo’s bs. He was extra unfocused today.

“How was your dayyy?” He asked as he walking into your dorm room. He looked huge walking through the door it was kind of funny actually.

“Fine, and yours?” You ask, feeling obligated to do so since he asked you first.

“It was alright, better now that we are here working on our project together bestie,” he jokes, plops himself down on your bed to make himself comfortable. You sat on your desk chair facing him.

You caught up with a couple ideas and worked on some your work, actually getting something done, for now.

You had to show each other your screens, so you awkwardly sat next to him on the bed. He sat up. The two of you now with your backs up against the wall and feet hanging off the bed. You sit in silence for a moment.

“I like ya lil glasses, can I try them on?” He asked, smiled and looking in your direction now.

“N-“ before you could answer, he already swiftly pulled them off your face and put them in his anyway. You roll you eyes.

“Do I look smart?” He asked with the cheesiest smile on his face.

“You look stupid,” you reply coldly, although you secretly kind of liked how they looked on him. They fit his face well.

“I think you’re mad they look better on me,” he replied with a scoff.

“You’re sooo annoying,” you reply. Surprisingly feeling yourself fight a smile. “Can you focus please?”

He does the opposite of focusing, eyes looking around your dorm room for a moment.

“Have you ever had sex with a guy? Are you even straight,” He asked, catching you off guard. You took full offense to his question. Not because of him questioning your sexual orientation, but rather him thinking that was his business.

“That’s a personal question,” you respond quickly.

“Seriously? You have this single dorm all to yourself. You don’t even use it to its full benefits. You know how many girls I’d be bringing over if I lived in a single,” he tossed his pencil up in the air and caught it as he spoke.

“I’m here for my sport and to learn, not everything in college is about seeing how many people you can have sex with, Melo.” You responded, typing away at your computer.

Melo slowly lifted your computer off your lap, placing it on the opposite side of him.

“Hey-“ you reach out your hand to it. The room suddenly feeling a lot smaller than it was now that his face was right next to yours and you had nothing to do to keep your hands busy.

“Have you ever even kissed a guy?” He asked, you loosen up at his tone, which oddly enough seems a bit more sincere now.

“Um, no, no actually I haven’t,” you responded quietly, looking down on your lap.

“I don’t believe that.” He responded. “Stop lyin.”

“It’s true,” you shrug, throwing your hands up in defeat.

“You’re so pretty,” he smiles, making your heart skip a beat or two, but you’re usual chatterbox brain was too nervous to agree.

“Beauty standards have nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t kissed anyone yet. I simply choose not to settle-“

He cuts you off by grabbing the back of your neck with his large hands and pulling you in for a kiss. It lasted for what felt like forever but it was only about 10 seconds. Although you were surprised, you did not want to fight it, and you even found you hands settling on top of his shoulders before he pulled away.

You stared at him for a moment, wondering what in his right mind made him want to do that.

“Anyway, I’m ready to focus now,” he smiled, got up and sat in desk chair you were sitting in first.

You sat there eyes wide, trying to process what just happened.

“Um.. yeah… yeah okay,” you say slowly.

You sat there and decided to not acknowledge what just happened as well. Trying to focus on your work, you could not help by to continue replaying that moment in your head. The kiss on repeat for a while. A couple days even. You saw him in class and he was so nonchalant about it. It started to bother you.

It took everything in you not to ask him about the kiss. Not wanting to seem desperate but at the same time what the fuck. That caught you off guard completely.

The next time you too worked together, you worked in his dorm. His roommate was in there with you guys, engaging in the occasional conversation with the two of you.

This time, you actually cared about how you looked, wearing a little make up and wearing a floral sundress that stopped midway on your thighs.

When you walked up to the door, Melo looked you up and down for a moment before letting you in. He had shorts on with no shirt. His athletic build made your cheeks turn hot and look at the ground quickly.

“Welcome in,” he gestured. You walk in and it looks just as you thought a guys dorm room would look like. A damn mess.

You watched him with his back turned as he stood by his closet of clothes, muscles taut as he pulled a new shirt over his head.

You shuffled to get your stuff of your backpack out before he caught you staring and got to work.

His roommate was cute, and you did not care that you were flirting it up with him right in front of Melo. He kissed you with no explanation. You were determined to figure out why.

“Alright, I’m heading to the gym,” his roomie stated and you smile.

“Have funn,” you reply. You watch him walk out the door, looking down at your lap to flatten your dress then look back up at Melo. His face very clearly annoyed and unamused.

“What?” You smirk, asking in an oh-so innocent tone.

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head in response.

“Oh yeah?” You ask. “You sound a little pressed.” You push, big smirk on your face as you spoke.

“I’m good,” he replied coldly.

You confidently put your hand on his shoulder and replied. “Okay,” in a sarcastic tone.

He was not fucking with that. He pulled your arm down from his shoulder and pulled you into a kiss, this being your second time feeling his lips on yours. This one was more intense. You remember thinking of his lips and how they felt from the last kiss. Feeling them again made your heart pound with excitement.

“Shut up and don’t make me admit to jealousy,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction.”

His hands gripping the back of your hair and he spoke, eyes bouncing from your eyes and lips.

“Hmmm, I think you just did,” you nod your head and shrug your shoulder. He was not having your sarcastic tone. He pulled you closer to him, this time he was laying down and you were sitting top of his lap. He refused to break the kiss, hands from down your neck to your lower back.

In your mind, you were strategically making sure you were right on top of his dick. His lips felt so good to feel again. You were so lost in the heat of the moment now, as he began using his tongue in your mouth, you let out a small moan for the first time.

He let go of the kiss for a moment and smirked.

“I wanna hear your beautiful moans,” he admitted, voice deep and full of lust.

He flipped you over and now your body was underneath him on his bed. You lied down flat on your back. He hovered himself over you.

Kissing you a couple times more, before kissing his way down your neck and stopping at your breast.

“You knew what you were doing wearing this shit,” he stated sternly.

You roll your eyes, “shut up.”

“You gon stop giving me that smart mouth,” he replied, smirk on his face before making his way down further. Your heart beating even fast now. He lifted up your dress to find you only in a thong.

He quickly looked up you with a smirk on his face, shook his head and carried on. Yanking your panties off, his lip made their way to your clit like a magnet.

You moaned softly at the pleasure, in fear that someone might hear the two of you.

“What if he comes back?”

“I don’t give a fuck, he could watch,” his voice low and eyes hooded, way too focused at the task at hand to even look at you.

Licking and teasing at your folds, you feel yourself getting closer due to all the tension you had built up since you arrived to his dorm, your mind flashing the sight of him when you walked when he was just no shirt on. His dick print very clear through his shorts.

As you felt yourself getting close to the edge, he stopped, and looked up at you.

“Whyyy,” you groaned put your hands over your face in frustration.

“Because, you was talking all that shit,” he said with one finger in your folds as he rubbed it slowly.

“Please,” you said and his surprised eyes look into yours.

“Nope,” he smirked. Now you were not having it.

You reach down to his shorts and very clearly feel his hard member. You looked up at him with pleading eyes as you began to rub it slowly.

He leaned down and started kissing your neck. You and him both knew he did not want this to stop, and he was fighting with every ounce in his bones not to rip your dress off and fuck you right then and there.

But you knew how to get what you wanted.

“Then it’s my turn,” you smile, pushing him off you and getting down on your knees on the side of his twin sized bed.

Knowing you have never done this before, you were slightly worried you would not be that great at it. You moistened your mouth as you pulled his shorts down, you did not have anything to compare his size to, but you were guessing it was bigger than average.

You admired it for a moment before taking it into your mouth. You heard him suck in his teeth as you took a few licks.

“What’s the matter?” You ask innocently looking up at him through your lashes while you swirled your tongue around the tip.

He bit bottom lip threw his head back, you knew that no answer meant that shit was hitting.

“Keep doing that shit with your tongue,” he groaned quietly.

You keep going at it for a while, and stopped when you felt him starting to thrust into your mouth.

“That’s it,” he groaned as he pulled you on the bed, you watched as he began to slowly push himself inside of you, wincing at the pain, he went slow and you warmed up. He looked so good while he stroked you. You started to feel better and better. He watched you as you took all of him now and proudly.

“I told you to stop talking all that shit,” he groaned.

“I don’t regret it,” you smirk.

“You bout to,” he stated as he began to speed up the pace.

You moaned louder as he continued to thrust into you. You could not believe this moment was actually happening. Him giving into it fed into your pride.

You watching at he admired every ounce of body, gripping and tugging at your soft spots. He held your hips as he picked up the pace.

He pulled out and finished himself off on your stomach. You lay there feeling a mess, he gets a towel and you guys get yourselves together throwing the occasional smirk at each other.

“You look so pretty taking this dick,” he stated, grabbing your neck and kissing you slowly. You smiled into the kiss.

“I’ll do it again,” he confirmed, both hands holding your face as he kissed you hard, tonguing you down.

“Chillll,” you laugh. “Let’s get this damn assignment going already.”

#lamelo ball #liangelo ball #lonzo ball #hornets #basketball #lamelo ball fan fictions #lamelo ball imagines #melo ball fanfic #melo ball one shots #ball in the family #by melo ball #ball family

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spookysquish13 · 3 years

Text

First time knife play with JJ Maybank

*Author note: I got locked out of my old account (spookysquishsworld) and am reposting all of my old writings

This morning there was a tiktok video going around where Rudy was playing with a knife. It brought something out of me, and i know everyone wants more JJ smut. So here yall go. I hope you like it.

ALSO if anyone has tips on how to format more easily, i write on a different app and then paste it into the text box… ??

TRIGGER WARNING HARD CORE. KNIFE PLAY. THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING TO SOME. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY BLADES OR KNIVES. WARNING: Knife, blood, blindfold, choking, fingering,

JJ was sitting in the little cabin of the steering wheel of the boat, groaning that he was bored, leaning his head back against the wall. He takes out one of the fishing blades packed on the boat. He takes the blade out of its canvas sleeve, in a place that you could have sworn was slow motion. You are watching him through the back window of the cabin. Watching him take out the knife, you feel your eyes grow in size. Gulping quietly so you could continue enjoing the show started feeling your core grow hotter. JJ starts tossing the blade up into the air trying to catch it. The danger of him potentially getting hurt grew an excitement deep inside of you. You didnt know what this was. Why the sight of the blade excited you to your core. What would it feel like? Would it be cold? What would it feel like to give JJ all of that control. You knew he would never do a thing to hurt someone else unless provoked. You swallow hard trying to keep your hand out of your shorts. The others close by. Now JJ is starting to twirl the blade between his fingers. His face twisting with concentration, making his dimples come out. You could see one of his brows furrow. With the rings on his fingers, and the knife moving swiftly could have made you cum from the sight. JJ felt someone watching. He looked over his shoulder, still twisting the blade. You both made eye contact. JJ giving you a sexy smirk, his eyes growing a deep blue. You moved away quickly from the window and plastered your back to the wall aside the window. Trying to catch your breath from the sight of the sun kissed blonde with a shiny knife. —————– All of you have now returned from the boating adventure and you excused yourself into the bathroom of John Bs house. You splash cold water onto your face trying to collect yourself. You all were still hanging out but your heat never faded. As you unlock the door, you find JJ standing in the doorway across from the bathroom, his arms crossed. You started getting worked up again just from the sight of his muscles. “Hey, y/n, can I talk with you?” JJ asks. Motioning to his bedroom. “Where are the others? ” you ask JJ, your heart beat raises, feeling like you just ran. “I shooed them off” JJ says giving you a wink as he looks back behind him to make sure you are still following. As soon as both of you enter into his bedroom he closes the gap between you and backs you into the door, closing it behind you with a force that made you stop breathing. This is it, this could be the moment you were waiting for. JJ kisses you with such a force you could not keep the moan down that was escaping your mouth. His hands were on your hips, pulling you closer. Your head was spinning from his touch, you waited all day for this. JJ kisses from your mouth down your jaw, hitting all the right spots. Against your neck he says “Y/N, we need to talk about something.” You take a deep breath trying to focus on what he was saying. You try to untangle both of you, so you weren’t distracted. “Ok” you say sighing that he broke up something you were waiting for. “ I saw you watching me playing with the knife….” He trails off, you nodding you head, hoping that he could put two and two together. He was a smart boy. “…. I think I want to try something with you.” You heart jumps and your eyes fill with the same lust that he looked at you with multiple times before. “Im not sure how or why but watching you play with that knife did something in me that I didn’t know could happen….” You confess, letting all guard down, looking at your hands because you didn’t want to look him in the eye, you would have just died from embarrassment. JJ comes swiftly to your side and gently puts his hands on both sides of your face, bringing you to look at him.“Baby, there is nothing to be ashamed of, I know these thoughts can be scary and intimidating, but as long as we are honest with each other and talk about things before And after, we can do this. Honestly, it what I was thinking about while playing with it.” He kisses your nose, resting his forehead against yours. “I

was curious how you would take it, we already have been dabbling into some kinky things in the bedroom…” he continues talking as he wraps his hands around your waist. Closing your eyes with the feeling of him wrapping you into him, you laid your head against his chest. You were trying to memorize his smell around you. How his arms felt wrapped around you. “You know my rule, you can tell me anything and I wont judge. As long as you are honest and remember the safe word, we are golden. You remember the word right, babygirl?” How could you have forgotten, you sat in bed with him late at night, laughing and forgetting the world around you. You were trying to come up with a word that would completely pull both of you out of anything you were doing. Toilet. Toilet was the word you settled on. You talked about golden showers and both of you agreed that, that wasn’t something you’d be into. JJ spoke up, pulling you out of your memory. “Do you want to try? The gang wont be back for hours. The house is ours. We can be as loud as we want….” He kisses you hard and chokes you a little, the coldness of his rings makes you gasp against his mouth. “we all know you have trouble being quiet, princess” JJ says against your mouth smugly, knowing full well the power he has over you, to make you into a crumbling screaming soaking mess. He picks you up and tosses you onto the bed. He makes contact with your mouth and you moaned at the touch, kissing you so you wouldn’t notice, he blind folds you with the bandana from his back pocket. Kissing down your neck, sucking hickies into your collarbone, he slowly pulls out the knife from his pocket, the one you saw earlier, he lifted from the boat. The first contact was your shoulder, you gasped shockingly from how cold the metal was. Colder than you imagined, ice like.JJ drags the knife softly against your delicate skin, never picking up the blade off of you. He cuts one of your straps from your shirt, which makes you scream quietly from excitement. He continues to drag the blade up against your neck, against the sweet spot near your ear, and down your cheek. Your heart is racing and you are practically panting, drool tipping out of the corner of your mouth. JJ sees you drooling under him, a soaking and panting mess. He becomes hard and grinds his hips into you so you could feel what you do to him. “Open your mouth stick your tongue out.” JJ orders with a deep sexiness to his voice. This tone of his is one you love, one where he is taken over by lust and cant get enough of you. You close your mouth tight, being the brat you are, knowing there would be a fun punishment for this act of disobedience. JJ stopped grinding into you and lifted himself up off of you. He turned your hip to the side, your back still on the bed but your left hip in the air. He dragged his hand across your underwear, making brief contact with where you wanted him the most. All of the sudden you feel a smack and a sting. He spanked you, leaving a red hand print on your bare ass. The noise that escaped your mouth earned a growl from him. Your chest raising and falling rapidly from all of your excitement. “Open your mouth. Stick your tongue out. I will not repeat myself.” JJ says as you feel his hand around your throat. You stick your tongue out, letting all juices free flow. You feel the cold metal pressed flat against your tongue. You couldn’t stop drooling. You only ever could drool that much while you were sucking him off. When you feel the cold leave your mouth you start begging. “JJ please, I need you. Now, please.”“Tell me what you want, brat” He spat back at you, tightening his grip around your neck. Your head falls back and you beg him “Please touch my pussy, I want your fingers, your tongue, the knife, your dick. Please anything. I just need something. Please” The need you had for him almost brought you to tears. JJ drags the knife down your bare stomach, your shirt was long gone. You arch your back and JJ could see all the goosebumps forming. He starts biting your hips, sometimes too hard and there was blood popping out

of some of the teeth marks. He dragged the knife down to your panties and with one quick motion he cut off both sides around your hips. Tugging on the cloth he ripped them from the front so there was friction against your clit. You gasped so loud and was so shocked you gripped the sheets around you. Knowing if you reached for him there could be bad consequences. Biting and sucking at your hips again, he pushes your legs aside and finally gives you what you begged for With out any warning he pushes two fingers into you. Still feeling the blade, over a hip and down one leg tracing your ankle and then coming back up. “Baby, you are a dripping mess. I never knew you could get so wet and wanting. All for me.” JJ practically growled against you “Yes baby you are doing so well. I love seeing you like this.” You bucked your hips against his fingers, still inside of you. This Was all you needed to just about cum. He immediately removed his fingers and you whined so loudly you startled yourself. Edging you once before letting you get any closer. “OPEN"He demanded once again and you obliged you needing him more then a punishment He stuck his fingers in your mouth "Taste yourself, baby girl taste how wet you are for me.” You start sucking on the fingers in your mouth, tongue dancing around them like you were sucking them off. This earned a deep growl from JJ in your ear. A “please” escaped your mouth without even thinking. He starts to drag his fingers, softly barely touching your skin, down to your wet hot core he pushes you back over so you are laying flat on your back, legs wide open his for the taking. He flicks your clit just to tease a little bit more before giving you what you want. You were now open mouth panting and whining, some noises you didn’t even recognize. He put two fingers into you going at a pace you didn’t think was humanly possible, again things were slow motion you didn’t think he could go any slower. “Stay very still, do not move a muscle or I will stop he orders” JJ places the cold blade onto your clit and you move your hands deeper into the blankets bracing yourself so you didn’t move. He curled his fingers to hit your g spot and you almost cried. You needed him more than you ever needed him before. “p…..please JJ… please make me cum….. please baby….. I’ll do anything just make me cum……” you plead knowing you couldn’t stay still for much longer he removes the blade and you start to protest “Please…” as quickly as he removes the blade he replaces it with his mouth sucking and twirling his tongue so skillfully he starts pumping his fingers rough and hard, a pinky grazing your other hole his hand is now dripping from your juices “baby cum for me you are doing so well, you are almost there….” pounding your g spot over and over with his hand you feel the rings slipping close and close to your entrance, his fingers deep inside of you. your back raises from the bed as you feel the knife flat against your belly just enough to feel the coldness you release and scream like you were on a rollercoaster you were on one of your own high JJ had to use his arm to keep your legs open, holding you down still pounding you with his fingers making sure he gets everything out of you as you let go of the sheets coming down from your high he moves to place the knife on the bed and to slip the bandana off of your face kissing you everywhere on your face and finally your lips you lay there limp tears escaping your eyes you breathing so heavy you weren’t sure if you’d ever catch your breath He lays down next to you in awe and kisses you gently against the mouth you laugh against his lips unbelieving that you just came that hard “wow” escapes your lips as you run your hands through his hair his hand laying lazily on your hip “I didn’t know you could scream that loud Y/N” still laying there euphoric blinking to try to make sure this was reality, nodding slowly “you really liked that didn’t you y/n”“yes I had no idea…. i .. it… wow…. more ….” JJ giggled that he had you speechless “ I will be right back baby okay? Just stay here, Im so

proud of you” he put away the knife and brought you some water and covered you up with your favorite blanket you could make sense of words now…. “Wow JJ fuck, that was awesome. I had no idea” He came up behind you cuddling into you under the blanket kissing the side of your face “Im glad you liked it I can say its one of my favorite things now.” “Me too, i thought it would be different” “how so” JJ looks down at you making sure you were okay “that it would be more dangerous i guess” he feels you shrug against his arms around you “as long as you don’t jerk and move too much i have all of the control. I wont ever hurt you baby, I’m so proud of you. you did so well” “ JJ I’m glad we can trust each-other this much. I wouldn’t be able to do any of this if it wasn’t with you.” He kissed you softly against the mouth and your hunger reappeared How could it not with a sun kissed blonde god next to you “Your turn for me to make you cum JJ” You say climbing on top of him feeling his dick hard against your bare clit. Shuddering at the feeling since you were still sensitive, smiling. you both melted into the blanket, not coming up for air until the sun rose again

#jj maybank smut #jj smut #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #smut #morphwrites #jj obx #jj maybank #jj maybank fic #obxstuff #john b #kie

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robinofgothamcity · 3 years

Text

♡ prompt: you’re going to a chistmas party with your ex in attendance and you try to find a replacement as quick as possible.

♡ song suggestion: HIP - MAMAMOO

♡ pairing: jon kent (superboy) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes

“i can’t just go to this party and not show up with a date, do you know how humiliating that is?” you exclaimed to Damian, chugging back the last bit of wine you had in your glass, “it’s easy for you to show up like that because you’re fucking Bruce Wayne’s son and you aren’t the one who actually lied here...I DID!”

Damian saw the panic arising in your eyes as you tried to come up with just anything to get out of the Wayne Christmas party but nothing was coming up in order to actually get you out of it. it was too late to actually back out and you swore to Damian you’d attend the party so it wouldn’t be so miserable for him.

“who exactly did you lie to that you’re that deep into a lie?” Damian asked, kicking his legs up on his desk. “Michael from human resources! he’s been up my ass about taking me out that i finally broke one day and said I was already in a relationship and while he did back off, he’s expecting me to bring a date,” you confessed.

Damian started laughing again, not knowing whether to fire Michael to finally put you out of your misery or actually take the opportunity to make you meet his oh so single best friend...Jon Kent. he sat on the idea for a few minutes as you ran your fingers through your hair nervously.

“good lord, if I bring a friend of mine as your date, will you be quiet?” you looked at him in confusion. “you have friends?” you laughed, instantly dodging his wad of paper.

“for your information, I actually do,” you sighed, not really knowing if you wanted to take him up on the offer, “he’s a friend of mine from Metropolis. he’ll say yes, it’s up to you,” you cautiously agreed, threatening him that if his so called ‘friend’ ended up being some creep, you were within your rights to hurt him.

as you and Damian exited the building, you saw the copious amounts of reporters standing to the side, trying to capture photos of Damian or getting information on the party for tomorrow.

you sighed, giving the reporters the middle finger, not really in the mood to deal with their bs. there were a few times those nosey reporters had made stories about you and Damian. claiming that you were sleeping with him so you could get closer to the Wayne family heir. it didn’t exactly help that you were in the assistant and secretary role as well.

“wow, feisty aren’t you?” you heard Damian’s eldest brother, Dick, say out of no where. you quickly greeted him, seeing that the street to get out of Wayne Enterprises was getting clogged up with traffic, “see all of you tomorrow! Damian, don’t let me down!”

Dick looked over to his brother, wondering what you meant by that. “I’m bringing Jon as her date for tomorrow,” he explained. his eyes widened, “really? him?” he asked, surprised that he would even set up a date for someone. “yeah, he has way too much time on his hands and it’d be better for me to set those two up to finally get them out of my hair.” Dick laughed knowing exactly where that could go wrong.

the morning finally came, much to your unamused pleasure. you had told Damian that you’d meet him at his place so if anything funny happened with his date, it wouldn’t happen to your embarrassment at your work place. you were not sure who your mystery date was and Damian refused to give you a name. all he had told you was that he worked in Metropolis and had been his friend for years.

you dragged yourself into the shower and unwillingly got dressed. your makeup was the hardest part of the entire outfit as you were going to try and perfect it as much as possible. you had never really gone all out with the makeup in what felt like years so you figured today would be the day.

“almost ready?” Damian asked over the phone. you rolled your eyes, “yeah, i’m just pulling my shoes on before heading over to your place,” you responded as you munched on a granola bar, “why do you care?” you asked.

you heard two voices laugh, “because your date is here so hurry up!” Damian exclaimed before hanging up the phone. you didn’t bother to play into his antics before finishing up. the dress you had bought was something you had from a previous event and up until now, you hadn’t worn it again.

the dress you had picked was one from a previous event that no one hardly saw. it hugged the curves you wanted to show and you knew it would surprise those who hardly saw you gala or formal party attire.

you got into your car and chugged back a red bull before heading into Damian’s home. you saw a few cars parked in his garage along with a limo to which you assumed you and a few others were going to take. you annoyingly pushed the doorbell to strike a nerve in Damian.

“woah,” you heard Dick say as he opened the door, “I know, I look good,” you said smiling. he nodded in agreement as the two of you walked in farther into the house. you could tell Dick kept looking at you every so often and even dropping a few compliments and pick up lines.

as the two of you were walking, you hadn’t realized you had completely passed Damian and his friend. you were so enamored with your conversation with Dick that it wasn’t until Damian half-annoyed screamed your name out to catch your attention. you turned around and stopped mid way through when you saw Damian and his friend.

“oh hey,” you whispered, not wanting to look at Damian’s friend in the eye. he was a lot more attractive than you had anticipated. “didn’t know you could actually clean up nicely,” Damian murmured, not even hiding the fact that he was checking you out.

you gave him the middle finger in response, “this is Jon Kent, Jon, this is ( your name ), I guess she’s my friend,” he rolled his eyes at the last thing he had said. you slowly stuck your hand out to shake but much to your surprise, Jon had shook your hand rather excitedly.

“nice to meet ya!” he exclaimed, his slight southern drawl coming out. you laughed at his excited tone, “heard a lot about ya!” he continued. you looked at Damian, “aww, you do like me!” you said, a mischievous smile appearing on your face.

Damian kicked you in the back of the leg before murmuring that all of you needed to head out before any of you got into trouble for being late. you met up with Dick and Tim who were arguing about something as the three of you waited for Alfred to pull up with the car.

the entire ride to the venue, it was just you and Jon talking here and there. you could tell that Jon was the very exact opposite of Damian and it was a wonder how him and Damian even got along with their personalities being the exact opposite from each other. once the car came to halt, all of you piled out, the cameras immediately snapping as they realized the Wayne’s have arrived.

“don’t kill them this time,” Damian threatened you as you put up your hands in defense. you looked over to Jon and gave him a small nervous smile, “ready?” he asked as you nodded.

he put his arm around your waist, tightening it as the two of you walked up to the red carpet. you smiled fakely to the cameras. Jon looked down at you, not expecting this reaction to the paparazzi. “not a fan, eh?” he asked. you shook your head no, “god knows how many times those idiots have thought that Damian and I were together.”

Jon gave you a look, “but the two of you are like siblings?” you shook your head, “I know but they think we’re hiding behind all of that.” the two of you reached inside of the building to see the long extended tables as you and Jon were seated on a two chaired table.

Jon pulled your chair out, making sure you were comfortable before sitting down across from you. the menu was pre filled as it was your job to make sure everything on it was correct and put everything they were going to serve for the course of the night.

“so, what do you for a living in Metropolis?” you asked as they put small appetizers in front of you. Jon smiled, “I work for the newspaper,” he replied, “I bet it’s tough to be Damian’s assistant, huh?” he asked as you nodded yes, dramatically.

through the course of the night, you and Jon talked, Jon making sure the conversation never died down. you had to give Damian credit. you weren’t exactly trustful in Damian that he would pull through on his blind date for you but Jon up till this point had not made you seem uncomfortable or even slightly creeped out. he was like the perfect gentleman.

“wanna dance?” Jon asked, getting up from his chair and grabbing your hand softly. you held his hand, giving it a squeeze as a response.

the two of you walked to the small dance floor as you saw a few of your coworkers, those who were either married or in long term relationships dancing. you gave them a wave as they waved back before going back to their conversations with their partners.

“I’m glad you came,” you told Jon as you took a sip of your champagne shyly. he looked down to you and grinned, “I’m glad I did too. I wasn’t going too originally but once Damian told me a bit about you, I just knew I had to meet you,” he replied as you hid your face in his shoulder, slightly embarrassed.

the song playing in the background happened to be a piano rendition of ‘Someday My Prince Will Come’. you had watched Snow White a million times as a child and the fact that this song was playing as you were dancing with someone who you hoped would give you a second date made your heart swell.

“I have to admit, I’m glad I told Damian as well. the date was so last minute and honestly, Damian is the last person I would ever trust to put me in a blind date situation but I’m happy that he actually pulled through for once.”

Jon laughed as he bent down a bit and kissed your cheek in response. you noticed that the more nervous Jon got, the more his slight southern accent would come out. you reciprocated the kiss but this time, you kissed him on the lips. he was taken by surprise but nevertheless, he returned it. this time deepening it a bit.

after the two of you danced a few more songs, you took a break as Jon excused himself to the bathroom and you made a beeline to the bar to refill your glass along with Jon’s.

“hey there gorgeous,” you heard the voice from the last person you wanted to see. you turned to Michael and gave him a tight lipped smile, “good evening Michael,” you responded, trying to get back to getting your drinks. “I saw you with your little boyfriend earlier but I knew I had to come over here and tell you how fine you looked.”

you felt yourself wanting to gag by what he was saying as you felt him grab your wrist, “since your boyfriend isn’t around, how about you give me a little dance,” he asked. just as you were about to response, you felt Jon’s presence behind you, “who’s this, baby?” he asked, staring down at Michael.

to Jon’s credit, he was towering over Michael. “no one,” you replied, shaking yourself off of him, “hiya! I’m Jon, ( your names ) boyfriend. you are?” he asked. Michael scoffed, half scared at how Jon was looming over him, “I’m her coworker,” he replied before leaving.

you look to Jon in relief, “thank you so much,” you said. he smiled, putting his arm around your waist, “no problem, isn’t that what I’m here for?” he asked with a smile on his face. without actually realizing what you were doing, you happened to snuggle closer to Jon as you saw Damian approaching the two of you.

throughout the rest of the night, you kept yourself to Jon’s side as you remained with Damian and a few others. every time you left, Jon made sure that once you returned, he always had his arm around your waist or shoulder. Jon’s grasp was firm and even slightly possessive but you did not mind it one bit.

if you were being honest, you were hoping that at some point in the future, the two of you would get farther than that but for the moment, you enjoyed being in his grasp.

#DC comics #dc imagine #DC imagines #dc x reader #dc #Jon Kent #jon kent x y/n #jon kent imagine #jon kent x reader #Superboy #superboy imagine #superboy x reader #superboy x y/n #comics

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dem-obscure-imagines · 3 years

Text

Try

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/X-Men

Summary: Warren has been through hell and then some, but will meeting his soulmate turn that around?

Note: That’s right, it’s ya girl, back on my BS. I watched Apocalypse again and BIG SURPRISE, I’m in love with Warren and Kurt all over again. Still hyperfixating on Pietro also, so…expect more fics for him as well. Anyway, I’m a ho for soulmate aus and I haven’t written one for birb boi in literal years, so here ya go.

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Warnings: swears, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.8k

Warren knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He didn’t. There was no question in his mind. Anyone who was destined to end up with his winged, alcoholic ass had been fucked over by the universe. No one deserved to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives. And yet, these thoughts didn’t seem to erase the words written on his forearm:

Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.

Professor. He scoffed. He was never going to college. If his parents had gotten their way, their son “cured” of his wings, he would have ended up at Harvard or Yale or somewhere similar. But it was far too late for that. Sitting in a cage in the back room of an illegal underground mutant fighting club in Berlin…it was far too late for that. He’d probably die before he met his soulmate anyway, rendering the prophecy on his wrist—and theirs, for that matter—useless. A waste of space.

That was all he was anyway.

He spiraled. His dependence on vodka got worse. The fights got harder. He wasn’t making it out unscathed anymore, winding up with burns and scrapes and cuts, depending on what kind of mutant he was up against. One night, one of his cuts had gotten dangerously close to the writing on his wrist. He stared at it for a long time, tears burning his eyeballs until they escaped and dripped down his cheeks, angry and hot.

He hated it, but even after everything, he still had hope. He still had hope that things would get better; that he could be better, even if it seemed impossible.

And then it got…worse.

Apocalypse had come, turned his wings to metal, tuned into his anger, his rage at the world, turned him into a monster, complete with knives for feathers and winding tattoos framing his face. He wished he could blame it on mind control or something, but Apocalypse hadn’t brainwashed him, only used his anger against him. Turned him into a weapon.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up after the battle, he was in an unfamiliar room, large and white and sterile; it smelled like hand sanitizer. He heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and when he sat up, he noticed how sore he was. His whole body hurt. His head spun. But he was alive. And when he looked down at his tattoo, the words were still there. Wherever his soulmate was, they were fine. His stupidity in joining Apocalypse hadn’t caused anything to happen to them.

For the first time in what felt like years, he breathed.

“You’re awake.” A voice said as a tall man with brown hair entered his room. “I’ll let the Professor know.”

“Where…” his deep voice rasped and the man pointed to a glass of water sitting on the table adjacent to the cot he was situated in. He picked it up and took a few long, greedy sips, not realizing just how thirsty he was until the cool drink hit his tongue. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the infirmary at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.” The man told him, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re safe here.”

Warren nodded hesitantly, but didn’t say anything else. Safe. The word was almost a myth to him at this point. But at least he felt like he could rest for a little while.

***

It had been a few weeks since Apocalypse and his horsemen had almost ended the world. Erik had decided to stick around, and two of the younger horsemen, Storm and “the Angel of Death,” respectively, had been absorbed into the school’s student body. You didn’t know the Angel’s name. No one really talked to him, not even Ororo, Storm, who had been quickly adopted by your friend group.

Supposedly, Peter had tried to talk to the Angel guy, but he didn’t say anything to him. Ororo theorized he probably felt guilty about the whole thing. She did. But you all knew she didn’t know what Apocalypse was really trying to do. He probably hadn’t either, but that didn’t seem to keep the grim expression off of his face.

It was on a nice, sunny day that Xavier called you into his office, and you went down without complaint, knocking on the door a few times before he called you inside. You sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Hi, Professor. What’s going on?” You asked.

“Ah, yes. Just the empath and healer I wanted to see.” He smiled brightly. “(Y/N), if you don’t mind it too terribly, I have a small job for you.”

“Of course! What do you need?”

“I’m sure you’ve seen our newest pupil, Warren, around.”

You thought for a moment. “The, uh, guy with the wings? The big metal ones?”

“Precisely.” He nodded. “Warren…he’s been having quite a hard time adjusting.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“He came to me yesterday discussing…well, quite simply, he was wondering if any of our mutants here would be capable of…reverting him to his previous state. His wings, before Apocalypse, were made of feathers. They’ve been serving as quite a reminder to him and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on him, both literally and emotionally.”

“Yeah, I’ve, uh, caught his vibes from across campus.” You nodded. “It’s like there’s always a rain cloud hanging over his head.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but at your nearest convenience, if you see him around, would you talk to him? Tell him I sent you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” You promised him.

As an empath and a healer, your first priority was helping others. And even if he was known to be a bit intimidating, you wanted to help him if you could.

So, you walked out of Xavier’s office, attended your final class of the day, and when it was over, you wandered out into the courtyard where, because of the nice weather, students were everywhere. And luckily for you, just as you suspected he might be, Warren was sitting under a tree, still sporting his leather jacket despite the warm weather.

You shielded your eyes from the sun and walked over towards him, your heart racing as you built up the courage to talk to him. So, you took a breath and said, “Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his green eyes wide in shock. He took a breath, blinked a few times, glanced down at his wrist, and then back up at you. You could have sworn you saw tears beginning to form along his waterline, and you didn’t realize why until he said, “You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

You froze, your knees going weak. You glanced down at your bare forearm and read over the words he’d just said, exactly the way he’d just said them.

You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.

“Why are you sorry?” You whispered, lowering yourself onto the grass beside him, not trusting your legs to support your weight for much longer. Now you were the one with tears in your eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You deserve so much more than me.” He insisted, his eyes locked on his boots, unwilling and unable to meet your gaze. “I can’t drag you into…this. Me.”

His emotions were heavy, a bleak blue and gray haze and you felt it radiate off of him in waves. His pain, his everything. And you felt it, deep within his chest. He thought you wouldn’t want him anyway.

“Warren…” You shook your head. “Why…Why would you think I don’t want you?”

He was shocked into silence for a few seconds, thinking over his words carefully, his jaw tense and hands shaking. “You’re a telepath?”

“Empath.” You corrected quietly. “And…a healer. Which is why Xavier sent me.”

“Oh. Right.” He swallowed thickly, nodding. “Did he…tell you why?”

“He did.” You smiled softly. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

Finally, his eyes met yours and he could tell that you meant more than just the healing when you said it. The weak little voice in the back of his head was screaming for him to push you away like he pushed away everyone else, but looking into your eyes, a genuine and warm smile on your face, he just…couldn’t lose you.

He couldn’t lose anyone else.

***

Today was the day. Warren was sitting on a stool in the infirmary. Hank had run his vitals and the two of them were in the room waiting for you to come down after your class was over.

“(Y/N) is the one who saved you, you know.” Hank told Warren while he jotted down some notes.

“What?” Warren asked, snapping out of whatever daydream he had been caught up in. “What do you mean?”

“(Y/N) found you in the rubble. We didn’t think you would make it, but…they healed you. They insisted we bring you back here. Give you a chance.”

Warren was quiet for a long time, thinking about what that meant. Part of him wondered if (Y/N) had known back then that he was their soulmate, but he decided that would have been impossible with just their tattoos alone. Especially without context. They hadn’t known and yet, they’d still wanted the best for him.

“Didn’t know that.” Warren said, his voice soft and deep. He stared at the words on his wrist for a little longer, a hint of warmth swirling around in his stomach. Was this happiness? Was that what happiness felt like? He barely remembered anymore. But he knew there must have been a reason that when you walked through the door, his heart started beating a little bit faster.

“Sorry I’m so late. Professor Leaf kept us a little later than she was supposed to. Are you ready?” You asked taking off your backpack and setting it against the wall. As soon as you looked up at Warren, you felt the way his heart rate was increased and you didn’t miss the warmth swirled with the anxiousness. The anxiousness, you had expected. Even you didn’t know if you could pull off what you were going to attempt to do, but the warmth…it was a pleasant surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told you, shaking his head. Was he…was he smiling? It was a small smile, sure, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile before. It looked good on him. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Alright.” You nodded, walking over towards him. Underneath where he was situated on a stool, Hank had laid out some pads from the training room, you assumed, to catch his metal feathers if they fell out rather than transforming back to his normal…feather feathers. None of you really knew how this would unfold. “Again, I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t.”

“I’m not expecting it to.” Warren assured you, but it wasn’t in a rude way. “If it does, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Cross my heart.” What he didn’t say was: You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a few steps closer until you were standing right in front of him. He looked up at you and for the first time, you didn’t feel any negative emotions from him. Only anticipation and that lingering warmth. “Here goes nothing.”

You focused on the warmth in your own chest, the tingling yellow healing power that constantly swirled around your heart, and you forced it into your palms. You reached forward for his hands and he took the hint, his larger hands wrapping around yours.

Immediately, he gasped at the sensation, warm tingles running up his arms, down his spine. It stopped in the center of his back, right where his wings intersected with his body. At first, he didn’t feel anything. And then, he felt everything. The pleasant warmth flooded his metal wings, and one by one, the knife-like feathers fell out, each one landing with a thud against the mat situated underneath him.

Hank’s pencil jotted against his notebook as he took notes. He knew you were powerful, but he’d had no idea you were capable of something like this.

Neither had you.

Once the metal wings were gone, Warren felt a new sensation: another pair of wings, this one soft and familiar, slowly emerging from him. Part of him expected the process to be painful, like the one Apocalypse had forced upon him was, but it wasn’t. Warren chuckled to himself. Of course you would never hurt him. Not even unintentionally.

After a few minutes, the feathery wings had fully emerged, stretched out to his full former wingspan and he stared up at you in awe. You stopped your flow of power to him, but he held onto your hands, squeezing them to keep them in his grasp.

He looked back at his new wings, flexed them and moved them. They felt familiar, like they had always belonged to him.

“Thank you.” He said, giving your hands another squeeze, the warmth in his chest brighter and bolder than it had been before. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” You told him, squeezing his hands right back in a way that caused his heart to lurch. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you mind if I keep some of these for research?” Hank asked.

“Keep all of them, if you want. I don’t want them.” Warren told him, standing up from his stool, his hands still in yours. “So, um…do you want to go grab dinner or something?”

“Sure.” You nodded, smiling up at him. “See you later, Hank.”

“Bye, guys, have a nice night.” Hank said as you and Warren walked out of his lab. He couldn’t help but notice the way one of your hands remained in one of his as the two of you left.

***

Later that night, after dinner and after you and Warren had split for the evening, you were walking back to your room from Jean and Jubilee’s and you found Warren, lingering in his doorway, his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he held up a finger, indicating you should wait for him, so you did while he went into his bathroom and rinsed out his mouth, returning a few moments later.

“Hey.” He said, the word casual as it fell from his pink lips.

“Hey yourself.” You chuckled, feeling ridiculously underdressed in your pajamas. But then again, he was wearing his pajamas, too, a large black Metallica shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

“How…how are you? Feeling?” He stumbled over his words, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck. You felt a wave of nervousness rush through him. “Hank said sometimes you get tired after, uh, bigger healing jobs?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded. “For whatever reason, I never get tired when I’m healing you.” You chuckled, your cheeks heating up the slightest bit. “Well…I think I know why…”

“Heh, yeah.” He nodded, mulling over his next words very carefully. “Did you, um…I don’t know how to ask this. Did you mean what you said about…trying? About us trying…this. Trying us.”

“Of course I did.” You nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “You’re my soulmate.” You reached for his hand and he gave it to you, letting you play with his fingers. You felt the way his heart fluttered when you did. “Of course I want to try.”

“I’m broken.” He told you. “I’ve never done this before. I’m…I’m a lot, and I know that.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m a healer, huh?” You tilted your head. “And if we’re being honest, I’ve never done this before either. So how about we teach each other? Learn together?”

He smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

You let go of his hand and instead took the last few steps between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his torso. He froze for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. It had been…a long time since anyone had hugged him. But after a few moments, his arms got the hint and wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. He rested his head atop yours and exhaled a long, long breath. And for the first time since you’d met him, you felt a wave of peace wash over him, encasing him entirely as his wings gently cocooned you in their warmth.

You felt his lips brush against your temple, pressing a soft kiss there. You looked up at him and his eyes met yours before fluttering shut as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

#warren worthington iii #warren worthington x reader #warren worthington imagine #angel #xmen angel #angel x reader #angel imagine #archangel x reader #archangel imagine #xmen imagine #marvel imagine

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keisurou · 3 years

Text

build it up

(ft. koutarou bokuto)

minors dni.

wc: 3.2k

Warnings: semi-public sex (in the locker room?), doggy style, mirror sex, mutual masturbation, blowjob, atsumu x kiyoomi ship, atsumu being a lil’ shit and drilling ideas into bo’s head, not edited.

So my friends and I were fangirling discussing and apparently personality-wise, I’m basically a mix of Akaashi and Kenma, and it kinda makes sense because my top two comfort characters are Kuroo and Bokuto. Anyways, this is just a lil’ thing I wanted to try out, and again, this is not edited (i did edit it, and then my laptop just DIED so now its all gone. *sobs*) - does anyone want to be a beta-reader?? Because I literally went on a road trip with my family and just typed this in the car the entire time while my brothers screamed nonsense bs next to me. Hmu if you’re actually interested :)

“Babe,” Bokuto murmurs into your neck, drawing out the word, his hair still damp and smoothed down from his shower not too long ago. You’re trying to focus on the pile of research assignments in front of you, but the way your fiance is rubbing circles on your back has you rereading the same sentence multiple times. “I heard something I wanna try,”

“Hmm?” You hum noncommittally, encouraging him to continue, but you don’t look away from the papers. He frowns, frustration clawing at his belly and lets out a small grunt as he paws at your thighs exposed by your silk pyjamas. When he doesn’t speak, you turn to him and run your fingers through his damp locks before ruffling them slightly. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you tired? You have practice tomorrow morning, don’t you?”

He doesn’t respond, his gaze locked on your lips and the way your tongue peeks out ever so slightly to wet your bottom lip only for a second. Bokuto has been strung tight lately; he had just returned from a training camp after being away from you for an entire week. He had been so excited to come home to you; he missed your smiles, your soft agreements, the way you came apart and lost yourself under his touch. But instead, he came home to you fully decked out in your ‘no sex’ gear. That’s right, from the ten piles of papers you had to mark, and a brand new box of red felt tips, you were ready for five days of no sleep, no fun, and absolutely nothing frisky with Bokuto. Needless to say, he almost cried when he first stepped into the apartment.

But now, with only ten research papers left, you were practically finished. “Babe, let’s cuddle tonight,” You give him a look, and he deflates only a little before quickly adding, “I’ll be good, I swear,”

“Kou-kun,” you lean in and give him a soft peck on the cheek, and he’s so touch starved that he sits motionless, absorbing the way your lips brush against his skin for as long as he can. “You’re always good.” You move away, and he quickly grabs your hands, intertwining your fingers together. “But if I finish up here today, I won’t be able to see you play tomorrow,”

He’s silent as he contemplates this and then promptly hooks a hand around your waist and pulls you to him. His lips slant over yours, and it only takes you a second to melt into the kiss, hands flying to the hem of his t-shirt to drag him closer. Your lips are warm, and he can taste the sweetness of cherries from the dizzying brush of your tongue. He leans back against the sofa, and you clamber onto his lap, your softness meeting the hard planes of his body as you kiss along the smooth column of his neck. There is nothing sexier than the way you press a kiss before nibbling along his jaw, and his hands automatically find their way under your sleep shirt to squeeze at a naked breast.

You let out a strangled moan and immediately press your body to his chest, halting his movements. Bokuto’s eyes widen as he tentatively brushes a thumb on the underside of your breast, only for you to shudder. “Koutarou, wait,” you pant softly, grabbing at his arm to pull it from your chest. “I’m really sensitive today, and it hurts if you squeeze too roughly,”

“Why?”

“I’m on my period,” you say simply, and he blurts out the first thing that pops into his head.

“So, no sex?”

You shake your head, and his erection throbs painfully in his shorts as it strains against the material, somehow understanding the situation but not exactly cooperating. You get up to clear the table, and when you stretch, he can clearly see the way your nipples poke through the flimsy fabric, almost as if begging for his attention. He’s up, wrapping his arms around your waist and breathing in the scent of your hair. “Can I massage them?”

You pause, and when you don’t respond for a few seconds, he cups one breast through the shirt, palming it softly until you melt under his touch. “O-Okay, but no sex,”

He murmurs out a thank you, his golden eyes sparkling, and he’s glad you don’t question his enthusiasm. Once in the shared bedroom, he strips your shirt off your body watches with hooded eyes as you crawl over to join him at the centre of the bed.

His fingers brush against a peaked nipple before slowly pushing down on the nub, and you let out a soft whine before cupping your other breast yourself, rotating the flesh in small circles.

Bokuto briefly wonders how long it could take to make you cum just from your tits, and he turns it into a personal mission for tonight. He pulls at the free nipple, and you gasp sharply. Your reaction brings a lazy grin on his face, and he brings you to sit on top of him, the outline of his erection pressing against your ass so he can feel at least some sort of friction. He swats your hand away and pulls a nipple into the heat of his mouth, suckling the flesh softly as your thighs tremble around his waist. The first contact of his teeth against your sensitive nipple has your breath hitching deliciously as you chant his name, and he does it again, wanting to commit the sound to memory.

“K-Koutarou, please. I’m going to-”

He switches to the other breast and bites down on the nipple without warning. Your hands fly to the back of his head, pushing him closer to your chest as he soothes the abused skin with long strokes of his tongue. The way you pull at his hair sends sharp jolts of pain, and you realise that each time you tug at his locks, he puts his teeth to work.

You tug at his hair again, and he smiles as he bites down for a second. He takes satisfaction in the way you tremble and grind against him when he tugs at a hardened bud with his fingers, twisting and rolling the nub until it borders on pain and pleasure. He’s going to make you come like this even if he doesn’t get any sleep.

Minutes later, you tremble, your hands feebly pushing at Bokuto, and he leans back only slightly. He watches with wide eyes as you roll your hips, the movements unstable and shaky, almost frenzied. Your fingers squeeze at a breast and pull at the tip of the other, and you let out a breathy moan at the sharp streak of pain that quickly turns into pleasure. “K-Kou-kun. I’m s-so close. So close.” You whine out in both pleasure and frustration and reach for his hands so he can help you finish the job. “Please,”

You don’t notice the way Bokuto’s erection grows bigger from under you. He loves it when you beg for him like this, eyes glazed with lust without a care in the world except for how quickly you’ll come. It’s so intoxicating, and you look so desperate that he can’t help but want to tease you until you’re ruined. But tonight, there was no way; you wouldn’t be getting any help from him until he gets off on the image of you sobbing for his fingers and his tongue.

He watches as your eyes widen when you see him take out his cock and grip himself at the base. The tip is red and weeping, and when he smears the fluid all over the head, he’s delighted to see the way you lick your lips and lean forward, entranced. “What is it, puppy?” He purrs and grips himself at the base before moving up to the tip and coming back down again. The way your eyes follow the movement is incredibly sexy, but it’s the tremble in your lower lip that has him growing harder. “F-Fuck. Shit, you want my cock? I thought you said no sex.”

There’s a whine of frustration, and at this point, he can’t tell if it’s from you or him, but the way you rub your thighs together and tug at your nipples has him lifting his hips, craving the friction he can’t have. There are now tears in your eyes as you sniffle. For a fleeting moment, Bokuto considers sliding your underwear to the side; your period be damned, and fucking you into the mattress until the bedsheet is soaked with your tears. His cock twitches in agreement at the mental image, and a shudder goes down his spine.

Instead, he gives himself a few more rough strokes and closes his eyes, listening to your moans echo in the room before he groans, loud and low, as his release lands messily on the bedsheets.

Bokuto is restless at practice the morning after, and everyone knows this because his performance was downright terrible. On the rare occasions when he did score a point, there was no hey, hey, hey, no burst of confidence, no nothing.

There had been days on end where the team would have done anything short of murder to shut Bokuto up, but now that he had, they had no idea what to do. Well, except Atsumu, of course. The setter sauntered over, his lips stretched into a cocky smirk. “Bokkun, what are ya mopin’ about for? Did yer girlfriend leave ya all needy?”

Bokuto grumbled sourly at the blonde before promptly turning away. “I’m not moping.” And when Atsumu raises an eyebrow, encouraging him to continue, Bokuto only sighs and leans back on his elbows. Surprisingly, that’s all the setter needs to understand the situation and begins to laugh.

The entire situation is infuriatingly unfair, especially since it was, in fact, Atsumu who had drilled in the idea of having sex in semi-public places. Bokuto usually didn’t care to listen to the gossip of others much, unless it was related to volleyball or you. During the training camp, the blond setter had been describing how hot it was to do it in a semi-public place where there was a high chance of getting caught, much to Kiyoomi’s chagrin. Bokuto genuinely cannot bring himself to care because obviously sex feels good all the time, so why would doing it outside make it any different? Atsumu had just tutted when Bokuto explained this to him before asking him about you, and that definitely got his attention.

“Bokkun, do ya know what kinks yer girlfriend has?”

“She doesn’t have any,” Bokuto’s response had been immediate, and Atsumu just stared, wondering if the hyperactive male was just pulling his leg. But he wasn’t - Bokuto genuinely knew you didn’t have any because of course you would tell him as soon as you discovered one, right?

“She seriously never told ya?”

“Maybe she just doesn’t know.”

Atsumu had spluttered indignantly to his excuse, equal parts horrified and insulted that Bokuto could even think about suggesting such a thing.

Needless to say, ever since then, Bokuto has been trying to find out more of the things that make you tick in bed. He’d already found two last night, and his body was already tense, eager to find out more today. Especially since you said you’d be visiting after handing back all the papers to your students. They all wrapped up practice, with Meian giving Bokuto extra laps around the gym. By the time he had finished the required amount, Hinata and Meian were about to leave but had stopped to greet you for a few minutes. The sight of you leaning against the door, your lips pulled up into a soft smile filled him with restless energy and he took a swig of his water before making his way to you.

“Hey, hey, hey!” His voice booms, echoing off the walls and you swivel around to grin at him. There is a collective sigh of relief from the other members as they leave the court gym and he sees the way your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He practically sprints to you and pulls you into a bear hug. He knows he’s sweating and that he probably stinks, but that all takes a back seat as your arms come around to wrap around his waist as you breathe in the feel of him. “Are you feeling better?”

You nod and lean up, puckering your lips to give him a short kiss, and his heart squeezes before he leans down to meet your lips halfway. When you pull back, your face is flushed, and you lean forward to whisper in his ear. “I’m sorry about last night. I’m all better today, we can go wherever you want and do whatever you feel like,”

His golden eyes glint dangerously under the low lighting of the hall, and you immediately know that you’re in trouble. “Now?”

He can see the way your breath hitches and throat constricts as you let out a little whimper. Your voice reaches a higher octave as you whisper out a “Now?” and he suddenly wishes that he could drag you to the locker room in front of everyone. He realises with a start that Atsumu had been right all along and expects the fact to rub him the wrong way, but the thought is pushed to the back as you let out a timid nod.

That’s all he needs. He drags you into the locker room, too impatient to bother with the intricacies of the lock. Everyone had gone home anyway, so what did it even matter? As soon as he sits down, you push his thighs apart and situation yourself between them. Your hands fly to the hem of his gym shorts as you gaze up at him, and the whisper of friction that your fingers provide already has his cock swelling in his boxers.

The first contact your tongue made with his cock has him hardening even further as he sinks his fingers into your hair. He can’t take his eyes off the way your hot tongue glides up the curve of his dick before swirling around the tip and-

“Fuck. Fuck. Wait, baby-Don’t-”

You take him into your mouth, one hand softly massaging his balls, and all the protests die in his throat almost instantly. He chokes at the sight of you on your knees and your pretty, pretty mouth stretched around his fat cock. There are tears forming at the corner of your eyes as you struggle to take him in any further, and there’s nothing in the word that could make him look away. He thrusts his hips up only slightly, taking you off guard and forcing more of his length into your mouth as you gag around his size.

You make a sound at the back of your throat as you drool around his cock, and it sends waves of vibrations throughout his length. Bokuto eases out of your mouth, and the stark coldness that hits the sensitive skin has him hardening even further. “You did so good, puppy,” he pants out his praise and comes up behind you before he pushes you forward so that you’re on your hands and knees. You’re such a pretty sight that he has to stop himself from entering you straight away. “Are you comfortable, babe? Think you can take it like this?”

You nod vigorously and hold his gaze through the mirror. The head of his cock is leaking and angry, and he’s half tempted to bury himself balls deep inside you without warning. But the moment he pushes the tip inside your wet heat, you arch your back, and his hips jerked forward, craving the way your slick walls spammed around his length.

“S-Shit—” Bokuto grits out, relishing the way the unmistakable sound of your arousal squelching around his cock echoes in the locker room. “God, you’re so fucking messy- baby, I can’t—” his words end on a whine and tries to push himself further inside you, his hands going to grip your hair to wrap it around his fingers.

There’s a low guttural moan from you, and when he looks up, his gut clenches at the sight of your thoroughly fucked face. He wants to commit it all to memory - the way your tongue lolls out while your eyes roll to the back of your head as you cry out for him because he’s the only one who can make you feel like this. He pulls at your hair slightly and immediately feels you clench around him.

He does it again, harder.

Your whimpers thunder in his ears, and he leans forward until he has you completely underneath him, chest grazing the back of your shoulders as he braces his entire weight on his arm. His tongue and teeth are relentless on the flushed tips of your ear, laving the sensitive skin before nipping it harshly as he thrusts into you. “You’re such a pretty puppy, aren’t you? Fucked dumb and drooling on my cock,”

You sob at this, your words slurring. “K-Kou, s’close—” His thrusts become short and fast, reaching deeper as your walls dragging along his cock deliciously. The way you’re needy heat is sucking him in leaves him breathless, his hips stuttering with effort as he struggles to go faster and faster and—

Your walls flutter around his girth, clenching down and squeezing so tightly that he can’t help but arch his back, hands gripping your hips to bring you closer, the curve of your ass flush against his abs. He ruts into you harshly, trying to fuck you through your orgasm, and it’s the loud slapping of skin on skin that mixes perfectly with your lewd keens that have his dick spasming and finally sends him over the edge.

For a moment, all he can hear are the heavy breathing as you both try to catch your breaths, skin slick and glistening with sweat, but then his ears perk up at the telltale whisper of footsteps shuffling. Somewhere, right outside the door, a broomstick topples over something, and he swears he can hear the hushed bickering of Atsumu and Kiyoomi.

Thank you for reading :)

Taglist: @lukehemmingsfan101 @the-actual-audrey @Dontmindme:) @potaytopothato @jadasz @momoraen (those in bold could not be tagged).

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#bokuto koutarou #bokuto #bokuto x you #bokuto x reader #bokuto x female #koutarou bokuto #bokuto smut #hq smut #hq x you #hq x reader #hq bokuto #haikyu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu #haikyuu x you #hq x female reader

343 notes · View notes

angelyuji · 3 years

Text

first dates with my faves 😁 : nanami, loki, mammon, arvin, peter maximoff, and 707: yandere edition

cw // forced kissing, guys having a weird thing for innocence, stalking, breaking in and stealing personal items, society, awkward dates, kidnapping, mild to extreme yanderes, shoplifting, unconsensual touching, implied murder, religion is used wrongly to control

nanami: expensive restaurant - is on edge after being forced to go (by gojo). he’ll be watching your every move: the way you talk, the way you sit, the way you excuse yourself. he’ll size you up: your dress, your shoes, your jewelry. god, youre so polite and so friendly, his heart warms at your smile. your mannerisms make him wanna grab you and just hold you close. you’d get your menus and he’d order, then he’ll look at you and you’ll only be able to open your mouth before he just orders for you. you’ll be surprised, but you won’t say anything. giving him enough information to know that you’re perfect for him. he’s not the type to kiss or take you home on the first date, nanami is a gentleman, but you...you’re an exception. he’ll take you to your front door before watching your eyes. he sees such an innocent shine and he wants to protect that innocence for himself. he’ll lean in, holding the back of your head, and he’ll force bring you into a kiss. you’ll warm up to him eventually.

“my tie would look beautiful around your neck, darling”

loki: reallly expensive restaurant - like nanami, he’d be watching your every move. he’ll treat you like you’re inferior to him. he does not wanna be on this date, so he’s not gonna treat you that well. he’s watching you in absolute distaste, hoping you’ll slip up so he can tear you down. watching the way your outfit hugs you, the way you pick up you utensils, the way you laugh every time he sneers at each course. halfway through the dinner, he’ll realize that he’s paying more attention to you than his own dinner. loki won’t wait for you to pick something to eat, not because he wants to see if you’re his type, but because he doesn’t care about what you want. you’ll eat what he orders, no exceptions. the more you go along with everything he says, the more he’ll start looking at you as more of a pet than inferior to him. at the end, if ur not absolutely done with the bs, he’ll drive to your place and look you up and down. as you squirm, he’ll smirk before pulling you into a kiss. you wont be able to fight the kiss, his grip on you strong. then, he’ll reach over, open the door, and tell you to get out. he’ll come back for later though when you’re least prepared.

“get your clothes, pet. you’re coming with me”

peter maximoff: shoplifting - he's all casual, looking to have fun. you walk in to the mall thinking you're going to go shopping as a first date, and he's gonna be late. he'll be watching you from afar to see if he likes you, first. he'll look at your outfit, the stores you go in, what kind of clothes you browse through. he'll speed in, grab your phone, and scroll through that. 30 minutes into your date time, he'll show up in front of you, dragging you off into one of the designer stores. its a test when he grabs the first shirt off the rack, he wants to see how you’d react. are you a prude or are you the one he's been waiting for? are you gonna get angry or just let him do his thing. he'll watch your face as he grabs more and more, seeing you react makes him chuckle. your face twisting in worry, glancing back behind your shoulder every time an employee walks over. he starts to enjoy getting you all riled up and anxious. he laughs every time you ask him to stop and tells you to just relax, he knows what he's doing. by the end of the night, your nerves are shot and you feel like throwing up every time you glance towards the bag of stolen goods. peter doesn't kiss you, but tells you he'll call you before speeding away and leaving you in the mall parking lot.

"don't worry, no one will find out what we're doing"

mammon: watching the stars - mammon will text you to meet him in the planetarium. he’ll have everything ready: a blanket, some snakes, and music. he knows you and he knows you love him already, this "first" date is just confirming to him that you're his. he'll be so sweet for the first time (and the last). he'll be complimenting you so much, calling you his sweet angel, his love, his lovely human. it'll be the little things though, that leave you on edge. the soft touches, the hand on the thigh, the hand too low on your back, the way he moves you to his lap. small things that leave you feeling gross. mammon would be so happy you choose him. he'd never show it, of course, but you'll see it with every hidden smile and the clammy hands. he'd tell you to lay down next to him and he'd force you to lay your head on his arm. every couple moments mammon would inch closer and closer, and soon you'll be a tangled mess of limbs. by the end of your date, mammon would be nuzzling into your neck and you're more rigid than a new pair of shoes. there is no walking back to your room with mammon, he'll keep you next to him till the next morning or take you to his room.

"you smell really nice. why're you moving away, come closer to me"

arvin russel: drive-in theater - arvin will come to your house to pick you up. he'll be jittery and the moment you climb into his car, he'll be heads over heels in love. your gorgeous smile, the way your outfit shines in the setting sun, the way your shoes sound on the dirt. he lives for the simple things that you do. he's seen you for 5 seconds and he's obsessed with you. he'll be a gentleman, getting out of the car to open your door, keeping his hands to himself the entire drive to the theater. you're so pure to him, so innocent, so clean unlike him. he'll be listening to you talk about your family and your life with so much attention. you'll blush when you finally feel his stare, but he'll just tell you to continue, saying that he likes hearing your voice as he drives. if you confess about someone that has hurt you, he'll store that information away, and reach for you hand. he'd glow if you accept. once you reach the theater, he'll go and get snacks, locking the doors just in case. by the time he's back, the movie would have started and you're engrossed in the movie, he'd watch you for a little while. the way your eyebrows furrow, the slight bit of your bottom lip, and he'd smile when you tense at the sound of him opening the door. you'll lean on him, sending his heart into a fit. he'll hid his smile with his hand as your grip on his other hand tightens. when the movie ends, he'll drive you back and you'll both talk about the movie. he'll walk you to your door. you'll stare at each other, blushing, before he leans in and you follow suit. to arvin, you both fit together perfectly. once he leaves you, he'll go take care of anyone that can stand in his way.

"you hurt her. you hurt my girl... you're gonna have to pay for that."

707: picnic in the woods - the both of you were on house arrest to stay away from the agency’s radar, so when seven saw the chance to finally take you on a proper first date…he took it. he wants to treat you like the princess you are, even if you weren’t that willing to be with him. he’d set everything up before the date and make saeran drop u off. he’ll meet you at the start with a trail of roses. he’ll have a hand on your arm the entire time to make sure that you don’t stray from the path, and once you get there, fairy lights strung up on the trees, a red and white plaid blanket laid carefully in the middle, cute cat plates, and a picnic basket overflowing with food. as much as you hated being around your obsessive lover, you couldn’t help but be in awe of his hard work. he brought food that you’d enjoy and different games to play as you guys talk. saeyoung would make your date the most aesthetically pleasing. from the cute summer dress he forced you to wear to the cakes in wine glasses, he’d make it a date fit for a princess. he’ll watch as you eat, taking note of the way you cover your mouth to hide your smile. he’ll watch you the entire time in awe of your beauty. no matter what you’re doing, saeyoung will file it away as beautiful. seven would notice how you watch him carefully as well, it seems like you’re planning your next move, but as you get up, he’ll pull you flat on the ground. his arms would wrap around your waist and you’ll hug him back. he kisses you with a passion, pressing against you, trying to show you how he feels without words. your knight… your savior… your god wants a kiss in return for protecting you. how can you refuse?

“i am your god, mc. i’ll always protect you.”

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silversatoru · 3 years

Note

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending!

word count: 2.2k

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have.

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you.

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern.

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge.

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed.

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse.

“That’s an order, cadet”.

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety.

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine. Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself.

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul.

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions.

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something?

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again.

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts.

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face.

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you.

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”.

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?”

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head.

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway.

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?”

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”.

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore.

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks.

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words.

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up.

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth.

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again.

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed.

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”.

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear.

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least.

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips.

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”.

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it.

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long.

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress.

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

#attack on titan #attack on titan levi #attack on titan x reader #levi #levi ackerman #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x gn!reader #hurt/comfort #angst #levi hurt comfort #attack on titan x gn!reader

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imgonnapanic · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was hoping you could do Asahi, Ushijima, and Bokuto with a trans s/o?

I go by Lunar with he/they pronouns!

Haikyuu with a Trans s/o!

I’ve never written Asahi x reader before…uh so this should be interesting. Also, pls tell me if I stepped out of line here. I am cis and will listen to any criticism on this from the trans community. Cw: mentions of being misgendered.

Azumane Asahi

I feel like Asahi would be a really anxious over-thinker as a boyfriend.

Like not to the point where it’s weird or irritating, through. It’s actually kind of endearing.

Of course, you’re always making efforts to calm him down.

One day you guys were texting late at night and you accidentally passed tf out with your phone in your hand.

And he basically freaked out and sent you exactly *two* apology paragraphs.

(Because he was really sorry for whatever he did but he also didn’t want to spam your phone because that’s what all the crazy boyfriends do-)

After you woke up the next morning you immediately FaceTimed him, apologizing profusely yourself.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep that was really rude-“

“No, IM sorry!”

“WHY?”

Anyways, if someone misuses ur pronouns it’s on sight.

He’s constantly reminding people that you don’t just use “he/him.”

And ofc he always checks on u after because he knows that shit must be frustrating as hell.

You pretty much explain to him that you’re used to it and then his heart breaks because people can’t find it in their brains to use “they/them.”

So he turns into his scary ass thirty-year-old looking self and talks to his team.

And now you have twelve people that will squish anyone like a bug if someone purposefully misgendered you or says some weird bs about “they/them” prns.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

He gives you a lot of things. Very materialistic but still shows you affection?? He just thinks that buying you stuff is a good way to show you he cares.

Which…ur not complaining-

This man has money so every holiday he buys you a binder and ur like

👁👁❤️ thanks?!??!?

But he also makes sure that you’re wearing it responsibly and not hurting yourself.

He’s the type of boyfriend that would give you a lot of volleyball stuff as well because it’s all he knows 😭

You’re always walking around in your “Shiratorizawa Athletics” shirt and wondering how you got with such a sports geek.

Well…reserved sports geek.

He doesn’t get pissed off very easily, so you take that opportunity to make fun of him because he’s left-handed.

“So when’s the secret cult meeting?”

*sigh* “The one for left-handed people? It’s nonexistent.”

“That’s exactly what someone going to a secret cult meeting for left handed people would say.”

However, he DOES get pissed off when people disrespect your gender identity and his sexuality.

He’s done explaining to people why he’s bi and you’re trans. It’s too fucking redundant.

So, his way of telling people to fuck off is giving them the most bone-chilling, tooth-rattling, mind-fucking glare anyone has ever seen from a person as nonchalant as him.

“Don’t pay them any attention.”

“That’s the most words you have said all day.”

“😐”

“My bad-“

Bokuto Kotarou

You would think that Bokuto would be more verbally affectionate, but he’s an action type of guy.

“Did you see when I got that point in the fourth set and made it 21-14??? Wasn’t it great???”

Loves you with all his heart and his soul and would take a fucking bullet for you and he’s not even kidding 💖

Your favorite way of passing time is playing volleyball, even though he’s a lot stronger than you.

What? You’ve only been clobbered in the head like twice.

You’ll just be casually peppering and then all of a sudden.

*BAM*

“OW, BITCH.”

“SORRY AHHH”

He hung up a trans flag in his room, and he had it in there since you two started dating.

And when you first see it, you internally combust.

“Ko, why do you have this?”

He’s dead serious when he goes “It’s to show my support for the trans community and you.”

And then he just asks what kind of potato chips you want-

From then on, you felt a ton safer with him than you did already.

He also told Akaashi to not set anyone on the team who didn’t respect your pronouns or name.

Which seems kind of stupid, but when Akaashi filled you in on the fact that if he didn’t set Bokuto, he would go insane, you feel a little rush of pride.

#haikyuu #anime #anime art #haikyuu headcannons #sports anime #bokuroo #kuroo headcanons #akaashi headcanons #tsukishima x reader #bokuto x reader #asahi x reader #ushijima x reader #bokuto headcannons #asahi headcanons #ushijima headcanons

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ressjeon · 3 years

Text

ghost of you | jhs

pairing: jung hoseok x female reader

summary: he keeps begging you to go, but you insist on staying

genre: childhood best friend!au, angst, slow burn, drama, little bit of fluff

warnings: implied smut (brief affair), swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 12k (whoops more than planned)

a/n: so this is my very first full fic whew. there’s been last minute changes so I procrastinated but do listen to the song of the same title by 5 Seconds of Summer while reading this :)

and since this is VERY late from his birthday i just decided to submit it to @houseofddaeng’s Happy Hobiuary event this year and i chose a comeback look with my favourite hair colour on him, this was from the Euphoria MV ❤️

Clearing your throat, you got the attention of everyone at the table. Now all eyes on you, you feel your confidence starting to falter. Who fucking cares, this monthly dinner with Hoseok's family is the best time for this.

"Um..so me and Hobi were thinking.." you eyed Hoseok beside you to help you continue explaining what you both have been planning for weeks.

"Y/N and I are thinking of getting a house together" Hoseok smiled back at you and you flushed.

"You wanna live together! Omg my ship is sailing!" Hoseok's sister Jiwoo is squealing while poking your sides. You just glared at her, eyeing her to stop just in case Hoseok catches on.

"N-no, not like that, we'll share a house near our campus" you clarified but the knowing look from your Mom is making you nervous, she can always read you. "Yeah, cause the dorms in uni are separated but we don't want to live apart" Hoseok chimed in cheerfully, putting an arm around your shoulder.

"Well then, of course. Who are we to stop you both" Hoseok's Dad smiled at you both and you felt his Mom's teasing eyes when you nuzzled into Hoseok's side. Your parents have not said anything and you contemplated asking, now anxiously holding Hoseok's hand beside you. His parents looked at yours hopefully and then your Dad finally decided to face you both.

"You both are now adults so do whatever you want" a look of surprise etched up on your face and you resisted to smile broadly, maintaining your cool exterior when you're actually screaming inside of happiness.

You can't help but think that this could possibly help you develop your relationship with Hoseok on another level.

After settling down, things are going well with you and Hoseok welcoming freshman year of university together. You're just glad that he never changed despite him gaining more friends because of his bright personality.

Meanwhile, you're the opposite. Literally people avoid you when they see you or seem hesitant every time you make a conversation which is bs so you eventually give up on making new friends. Hoseok once told you that you have this “hostile” aura, though he tried to convince you to still try but you don’t care anymore. Him has always been enough.

Most people wonder how you and Hoseok are best friends because of how opposite the two of you are. There is one thing that you and Hoseok share a hobby though, dancing. Which is why after the house was purchased, you both decided to transform the basement into a mini dance studio, it’s literally just a room with full wall mirrors and of course, only his family supported the idea.

"We'll pay you back after we graduate, promise!" you giggled excitedly, both of your hands clasping together, thanking Hoseok’s parents for being supportive. Finally you can dance freely now that you are out of your parents' lair, they were never supportive of you venturing in the arts anyways.

Though you haven't actually delved into dancing fully, Hoseok knows how good you are since every time he sees you secretly practicing, he always gets mesmerized with your moves. You've never taken any dance lessons and yet you're already this good, a natural hence why Hoseok decided that he’s gonna help you in going back to it fully this time.

"Let's choreograph a dance together" Hoseok beamed at you while you both are eating breakfast one morning.

"Wait what? Why all of a sudden?" you pouted, looking at him in confusion. Though his idea is amazing, you're not sure if you're good enough compared to Hoseok. He's dancing skills are out of this world with years of professional experience and you're just, well, you who only dances for fun.

"Why not? Y/N you're naturally talented you know, I don't know why you can't see it" Hoseok smiled warmly at you and reached out to hold your hand across the countertop. You almost choked with your toast when you looked at his eyes so you covered it with a cough.

"Pshh fine, be patient with me okay? I'm not as good as you" you jokingly glared at him, snatching back your hand. You hope that the shade of the morning sunlight is covering your blush cause you definitely felt your cheeks heating up.

Yeah you have feelings for him. Yeah you love him, so what? It's not like you can stop yourself in developing them. You tried but with a guy like Hoseok, that's impossible. Though you've been planning to confess, you just don't have the perfect timing yet.

After a few weeks, you are planning to confess to Hoseok tonight so you texted him to meet at your favorite restaurant at 8pm. You said it's your treat so he promised to be there, I mean he never breaks his promises anyways.

You're feeling jumpy for the first time, well it's different since it's Hoseok. After years of keeping your feelings, you're finally ready to tell him. Funny how brave you are in everything else except for this one, you smiled to yourself. You were early at the restaurant and laughed at yourself. Okay maybe you're too excited on what's going to happen tonight. Minutes passed after 8 and he still hasn't come so you readied yourself while waiting for him.

He's late, I mean you shouldn't be panicking since it's only been a couple of minutes but you can't help getting worried so you texted him. You mentally giggled, adoring the cute nickname you have for him that you only change when you’re alone. You always set it back to “Hoseok” afterwards in case he calls you in public, especially at uni.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi are you almost here?]

You didn't wanna be too pushy. One text is enough and you took a deep breath while waiting for him. The waiter stopped by but you dismissed him saying that your companion will be here any minute now.

45 minutes have passed and he's still not here. You waited for more and it’s now 9:30 so you’re agitated now.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi? Are you still coming?]

When you didn't get a reply, you smiled bitterly and just asked the same waiter to take out the food you ordered. He looked at you sympathetically but good thing he didn't say anything.

Arriving at your shared home, you noticed that the lights were off. So he’s not even home, where tf could he possibly be at this hour. Just when you were about to call him, you received a text from Hoseok but a guy named Jimin is telling you that Hoseok is with them and that he would be staying the night at the boys’ dormitory.

So not only he forgot the formal dinner you prepared but he stood you up, basically ditching you to be with his new friends. He broke his promise..

You’re wondering if this is only the beginning of him breaking his promises to you.

A few months after that night, you notice that there’s something changing in Hoseok. You barely see him anymore since he spends a lot of time now with his other friends, but at least he still comes home at night and treats you the same. You’ve been waiting for a perfect time but you don’t want to delay your confession any longer so you decided to corner him one night after dinner.

“Hoseok, can we talk?” you muttered and he eyed you curiously.

“About what? And why are you fidgeting?” he coaxes you on, raising his eyebrows.

You straightened yourself and reached out to hold both of his hands, clutching them tightly.

Then staring into his eyes, you poured all your emotions on them as you declared what’s been deep down your heart for so many years.

“I like you, Hoseok” you smiled lovingly at him while his eyes widened in complete shock. His silence along with puzzled eyes looking back at you is making your heartbeat faster every second of him not doing anything.

“Y/N..” his voice came out unsure, I mean his face gave it all so now you’re very nervous.He probably thinks you’re just playing around and you’re getting restless.

“Hoseok, I’m serious okay?” you try to sound determined though your confidence is slowly dissipating.

Back in silence, you can tell he’s been trying to be careful with his words, maybe to try not to hurt you. God if he rejects you-

“I don’t know what to say, uhm..thanks?” if this is in another situation you would’ve thought how adorable he is scratching the back of his head.

Hoseok doesn’t know how to respond to you. He knows you’re usually upfront in most things but he didn’t expect this from you. He’s literally clueless on what to say but you’re his best friend so he trusts you.

What the hell got into you to think that a confession would be so simple. Well, you just decided to break the usual “I’ve been in love with my best friend for so long but I don’t want to ruin our friendship” thing. Not that there’s wrong with that, it’s very hard for some people to do so. So here you are, just finished confessing your feelings to your best friend and for the first time you’re nervous around him.

“Was I supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’?” you huffed, trying to act dismissive. “So what’s your answer? Again I told you I wasn’t joking, I like you Hoseok”. He gulped, you only use his real name when you’re very serious but he literally thought you were trying to prank him earlier or something.

“Uhm, can you give me some time?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes.

Fuck. You’re making him uncomfortable. Fuck.

“Shit, Hobi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off before you can even continue.

“No, no, it’s not that.. It’s just-” he paused and breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts.

“I totally understand if-” you’re already panicking given that you're now speaking faster than usual.

“I’m not really sure how to be in a relationship, there.” He blurted, letting out a deep sigh that made you pause. You didn’t expect he would be just honest about the real reason at the moment so you smiled at him.

“It’s okay Hobi, we can take it slow and-” you’re already saying too much but who cares, it’s not like he rejected you so there must be something, right?

“Look, um I can’t give you a real answer yet but I trust you so I want us to give a chance ‘kay?” his tone shifting softly while shuffling your hair, walking away outside after.

You pouted but nodded anyways. Hoseok’s glad that he got out of the conversation smoothly, at least now he’s relieved since you’re back to calling him “Hobi”.

Honestly, he’s happy knowing about your feelings for him. Smiling brightly at the night sky outside in the backyard of your shared home, thinking how he made his ever-confident best friend nervous just for a confession.

A ding from his phone pulled him out from his reverie,

[Unknown: We need to talk. Answer me or else she’ll know ;)]

Hoseok already knows who this is, given that he had blocked her numbers for a while now. He just didn’t expect that she’ll go this far, even going after you now. He just hopes this would be like the other warnings that he was able to handle.

[Unknown: image.]

[Unknown: Still not gonna answer me? You have a day <3]

He couldn't move from where he’s standing, staring at his phone in shock. This couldn't be happening, despite his confusion earlier you actually made his day better (as usual) but he doesn't know if he will be for yours after this anymore. Still staring at the text, Hoseok couldn’t think straight after what he just read. He’s hoping it’s not real, praying to all the gods out there that it's not what he thinks it is.

[Him: Fine. Let’s meet at the nearest cafe, don’t you dare do something]

[Unknown: Yay! Can’t wait to see you, good night <3]

Retreating for the night he passed by your bedroom, only to see you asleep on your desks with some unfinished homework and he smiled, you’ve always looked beautiful even when you’re sleeping. He chuckled by himself at how adorable you are, with your habit of not locking your door when you're busy.

Waiting at the said cafe felt like eons for Hoseok. He's mostly nervous because of the texts, especially that image. Getting absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize the pair of arms that’s latching on his shoulders from behind and he jerked in surprise.

"Hobi! Did you miss me?" a high-pitched voice startled him and looked up sideways to see a pretty girl with an innocent looking face, ironically."Don’t call me that" he released a defeated sigh, yanking his arms from her hold.

Ahn Sohye, the girl who’s been going after him since the start of the school year that he has been desperately avoiding. Hoseok's bracing himself to whatever craziness she has in for him this time, doing his best to focus in order to get the clarification he’s been wanting.

“Awee why that face? And what? Cause Y/N’s the only one allowed to call you that?” Sohye scoffed, a tone of jealousy in her voice. Hoseok just frowned at her and was about to leave but her expression quickly changed, a sly smile towards him with warning eyes.

“Look!” her demeanour suddenly changed as she eagerly handed him a printed picture, and time stopped immediately.

An ultrasound picture.

No.

no,no,no,no.

“What the fuck is this?” he hissed at her, incredulous eyes now mixed with anger.

“Our little one of course” she squealed excitedly, batting her lashes at him.

“Stop fucking around with me Sohye, this isn’t funny anymore” Hoseok’s usually calm but his patience have been tested for weeks already and it’s getting worse but this one is beyond anything the girl has done before.

“Why are you so concerned anyways?” Hoseok gave her a look and she smiled mischievously. He went silent, eyes skeptical.

“Ah, her.” she quipped, a smile not faltering and that made Hoseok uneasy.

He’s having a hard time adjusting to everything. Is he really going to be a dad? Not that he hates kids but why does it have to be now? After you confessed? Everything’s been going well for him, for you both.

“This is the last straw Sohye, don’t you dare” Hoseok grits his teeth. You can’t find out about this. You just can’t. The memory of your saddened expression because of his lack of response suddenly flashed through his eyes. He doesn't wanna let you down any more than you already are.

“Why not? Won’t she support you? You guys are best friends after all” she mused. Yes, both you and Hoseok have been since you were little, but something definitely shifted from the platonic feelings he had for you after that night. He still wants to wait it out to be sure, but it’s definitely more than how normal friends would feel and apparently you are already feeling it way longer than him and he didn’t even ask when so now he feels way worse than before.

“You don’t understand, we-” Hoseok paused. He doesn’t want her to know, though there’s no point since Sohye seems to be getting the message already. He just didn’t want to show any signs that will confirm her suspicions.

“It’s not mine. No way in hell that’s mine” Hoseok’s rambling to himself in distress, he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince other than himself.

“Of course it’s yours, that party remember? 2 months ago?” she cooed at him. His eyebrows are creasing together trying to rack his memory of what party Sohye is talking about.

“I don’t think you would remember any of it, you were very drunk” she giggled and that caused Hoseok to pale. That one party was hosted by one of Taehyung’s friends where he got so drunk that he didn’t remember anything the next day.

“No, that’s impossible. Taehyung told me I didn’t do anything rash that night”. Hoseok’s fidgeting right now. He’s usually careful, but that night his tolerance seems to get the best of him. Then he started remembering bits of pieces back...

“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me to the bed you know” she smirked, winking at him.“Why the fuck would I want you in bed with me?” he noticed his voice getting louder, as he was looking around the cafe people are already giving weird looks at their table.

“Here, watch” her smile, still annoyingly on like all of what she’s been planning this whole time has finally come to fruition.

A video. A fucking video taken by Sohye herself, but camera was on Hoseok only for the entire time. Of him calling her your name. Of him babbling about what he feels when you’re around. Of him letting all his emotions out in the open. He thought she was you, he was only seeing you when he’s drunk.

He’s speechless. He can’t think of what to respond to that one now. Sure the pictures can easily be dismissed but this video, this damn video is making him more helpless than he’s ever been already.

“So you see Hoseok, you can’t run away from me now” still frozen in his place he didn’t even swat her hand that she put them on top of him.

Meanwhile, you were just outside the cafe witnessing all of these happening. It’s not like you followed him here, you just happened to pass by since you’re going for groceries which is on the next block.

You know your best friend from the back of your hand. You can recognize him anywhere since you both have been inseparable ever since. So when you noticed his figure inside the cafe with someone, your heart clenched.

“Is he on a date?” you murmured to yourself. Is he? But why? You just confessed last night didn’t you? Is that why he didn’t give you an answer? Cause he’s already seeing someone and just didn’t want to hurt you? You recoil at the thought of him subtly rejecting you.

Hoseok couldn’t help but look sideways through the glass wall beside him to calm down and noticed someone standing there, looking straight at him.

He instantly jerked when he recognized it’s you.

You. Standing there, facing him and Sohye but now hurriedly leaving. He yanked his hands from her hold and immediately busted out through the door, hoping to catch you.

You don’t know why you started walking faster the moment he looked back at you from inside the cafe. Why the fuck were you even so obvious? He must think you’ve been spying on him or something.

“Y/N!” his voice is so loud calling you, but agitated. Hoseok doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to explain to you. To explain that what you saw was nothing to worry about.

You were fiddling your phone, pretending to look for something online when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Composing yourself, you faced him with a “surprise” look.

“Hobi, hi! I was going to get some groceries, do you want something specific?” you’ve put up a great acting which made Hoseok wonder if he was only imagining what he saw earlier.

“Uh, just buy my usual favorites hehe” his voice full of uncertainty. So he did really see you earlier lurking at him and his date. And Hoseok being Hoseok, didn’t confront you about it.

“Hobi! Wait for me” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted you both and Hoseok paled as soon as he saw Sohye walking towards you both.

Please not now, please not yet-

“Oh you’re with someone” you’re trying to keep your voice neutral despite wanting to scream in frustration at the moment. You’re not gonna cry, you were never a crier anyways. No fucking way you’ll cry in front of Hoseok and his date.

You feel betrayed, even if Hoseok doesn’t owe you anything. It’s not like he answered you, did he? So he can do anything he wants to do, go on dates even if you already told him how you feel.

“Y-Y/N, it’s-” before Hoseok could explain the girl already gave out her hand to shake yours.

“It’s Sohye, Hoseok’s girlfriend”. She smiled at you, a knowing one. You know her of course, she’s the majority of Hoseok’s daily complaints to you since the beginning of the semester last year so now you’re really wondering how they are together now.

You stiffened. Your expression must be wavering since Hoseok tried to reach for you but she's already clinging into his arms to stop him.

You can’t crumble like this, you already looked pathetic from confessing to someone who’s already taken. But then it’s not like you know right? Hoseok would’ve told you the moment you confessed but he didn’t so maybe they JUST got together earlier inside?

“Uh Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” you’re trying your best to show your most kindest smile even though they came out strained since you’re already dying inside.“Oh I know, Hobi told me a lot of things about you” she smiled at you, a feign one you see.

“Y/N-” you decided to cut him off, clearly you’ve interrupted something very important for them.

“I’m sorry I really have to go now, see you at home later Hoseok” you didn’t even look at his eyes and just turned away without letting him respond.

Hoseok’s distressed. He just hurt you again, and your expression earlier was even worse than the last time he saw you with it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’s a fucking coward and he knows it. He’s too nice to the point that his indecisiveness is causing the most important person of his life in pain.

“Why did you tell her that you’re my girlfriend when you’re clearly not? He barked but Sohye just laughed at him mockingly.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the father of my child so obviously you’re my boyfriend now” she retorted and Hoseok scoffed. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend and you better clarify it with Y/N”. He’s on edge right now, he knows what you’re feeling and he knows for sure that you’re mad at him.

“Anyways, I’ll update you later bye” and she kissed him on the cheek.

The thing is, you saw everything though. After turning around when you’re supposed to be going to the convenience store, you hid at the corner of the street. To watch them, to torture yourself even more.And when you saw Sohye left a kiss on his cheek while he’s still lost in thought, you finally left.

Arriving at the convenience store, you pulled your hoodie up trying to cover your face as much as you can. Don’t want any strangers looking at you weirdly while shopping with tears. After grabbing necessities, you proceeded to the meat section to get pork slices since Hoseok loves bulgogi. Your tears started to fall through after staring at the couple of sliced pork packs that reminded you of when you and him were having a picnic at the park.

You remember Hoseok doing the barbecues and you just stared at him the whole time, until this day you still wonder if he knew about you ogling him before. Staring at him while he’s cooking made you realize how in love you are with this boy. Not because of his handsome face but because of how he is naturally him. How his smile always brightens you up. How his sweet and caring nature made it really hard for you to quell what you feel for him anymore.

After Sohye left, Hoseok immediately went to the convenience store and saw you at the cash register, ready to pay. He cuts you off before you give out your card, “Here, I’ll pay” with a crooked heart shaped smile directly at you. Though you noticed the simmering guilt in his eyes.

“No Hobi, you paid last time so just let me” your voice came out colder than you intended it to be that made Hoseok more guilty.

The cashier was looking at you both and snickered “So who’s going to pay? I’m all for equality and shit but just decide. You young couples are always complicated” she groaned.

Both you and Hoseok are stunned with the lady’s insinuation, well obviously you can’t believe you were still blushing so you're thankful that your face is semi-covered.

“Uh-” you were about to explain that you’re not a couple but Hoseok cut you out of it. “Me, I’m paying” he smiled at her and she offered a satisfied shrug, murmuring something about how “gentleman” Hoseok is. Why didn’t he correct her?

Hoseok offered to carry all the bags but you insisted. He must be really feeling pity for you right now. After leaving the convenience store, you both were quiet. Way different than before where you both usually banter and throw jokes at each other when walking to home.

This awkwardness needs to end.

“So, is that why you couldn’t answer me before?” you turned to him, trying to sound bold. You just want to know the truth, since he already lied to you.

“Uh no, actually-” cutting him off of his explanation you scoffed. Listen to his explanation Y/N just listen..

“You should’ve been honest with me you know, is it really hard for you?” your voice came out weaker. Since when did you both start keeping secrets to each other? Sure you do harmless small lies but not as big as this.

“Yes, I was and Sohye isn’t my girlfriend” his voice rising with panic. Hoseok’s feeling it again, the need to clarify things to you. Maybe because he now knows what you feel? Or maybe because he just doesn't want to hurt you even more.

“You didn’t have to lie, I saw you both at the cafe clearly on a date” you stated coldly.

“That wasn’t it, you’re misinterpreting everything” his voice went quieter, now pleading.

“It’s alright Hoseok, can we drop the subject now” you glared at him and walked faster towards your shared home.

Hoseok just sighed defeatedly, deciding to give you space since your mind is really closed for any explanation.

You wonder who’s going to “cook” since you can’t cook for shit but Hoseok’s pretty good though he’s very humble about it. Now that you both are in tension with each other, you were about to offer to buy take out when he beats you out of it again.

“I’ll cook, just let me Y/N” mimicking what you said earlier to him. Entering your bedroom, you gave out a big exhale to calm down and rationalize everything.

You’re being irrational and immature about the whole situation and it’s not fair for Hoseok. The smell of bulgogi made you come out of your room to the kitchen where he was preparing early dinner for you both.

A surprised gasp came out of your mouth the moment you saw how the dining table was arranged to like that of a formal date. With the fine plates and cutleries that you even forgot where you put, the mini candle light that you gifted him from last Christmas and the vase of daisies, your favourite.

“Hobi-” you started but he put his hands up to a stop.

“No, let me explain everything please” his usually warm and happy eyes look up at you sadly.

“Okay..”

“First of all, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re hurting already but please believe me when I tell you that me and Sohye are never together. She’s not my girlfriend and I didn’t lie in any means that night.” he’s fidgeting now because of nervousness.

“Hobi, I should be the one saying sorry to you for acting like that. You didn’t deserve it” you told him, voice lacing with emotion. You really grow weak when it comes to him.

Hoseok smiled with relief at you, you never show this emotional side to other people except him. He opened his arms wide and you didn’t hesitate to accept his embrace.

You stayed like that for a while, you being way calmer now because of his embrace and him running his hands through your hair while swaying you both slowly. As if doing this wouldn’t make you forgive him or something.

“Come, let’s eat. It's getting cold and oh, I cooked your favourite. I’m also making up for the dinner I missed last time” his usual sunny demeanour is back though an apologetic smile appeared on his heart-shaped lips.

“Thank you Hobi though this is too much for an apology, I can never hate you for so long” you chuckled, playfully hitting his arms.

After your make-up dinner, the atmosphere of your shared house went back to normal and you both decided to end the night with a movie.

Cuddling with him has always been your favorite. You just love skinship in general but you would never let anyone know that. You’re only like this to Hoseok anyways.

You both are debating again about the movie when you can feel the vibrations from his phone inside his pocket.

Hoseok grimaced the moment he looked at the name appearing on his phone. He looked at you but you didn’t seem to notice his reaction.

You did. Of course you did, it’s Sohye. His reaction gave it away but you pretended to be still immersed in the movie.

“Uh, I need to take this. Be right back hehe” he ruffled your hair with a strained smile and left to go outside. Props to him for being considerate, he’s trying to protect your already broken heart.

“What” he barked on the phone as soon as he answered Sohye’s call.

“Don’t snap at me Hoseok, did you tell her? She’s pretty down” she mused with fake sympathy on her voice.

“Is that really the only reason why you’re calling me?” Hoseok’s annoyed. This night was supposed to be a make-up night for you both and now she’s ruining it.

"No of course not, my parents want to meet you". Hoseok's blood ran cold. Sohye's parents..does this mean?

"Hey, are you even listening?!" Sohye screeched on the phone which made Hoseok put the phone away from his ears.

"Yeah I am, what the fuck do you mean meet your parents? No way" he responded with disbelief. He couldn't even wrap his head in the fact that he got someone pregnant accidentally when he was drunk and now he's already going to meet Sohye's parents?

"You will, I told them what happened and they want to meet the father of their soon to be grandchild. End of discussion" she stated coldly.

"Sohye-" before he can even try to plead to move things slow, the line went dead already.

An exhausted sigh came out of him with the new problem he's going to face from now on. Fuck.

Looking back at the house, he saw you at the doorway looking worriedly at him so he smiled to ease you.

Something's wrong. What's happening with him and Sohye? You didn't hear anything but you saw Hoseok's reaction to whoever he's calling.

You stopped him before he could continue.

"Is everything alright? you're trying to ease the obvious distress on his face but as usual he just shrugged.

"Yeah, don't worry it wasn't Sohye" his response seems flat and he couldn't look at your eyes so you're already suspecting that he's lying.

You pretended you didn't notice his lies and smiled back at him saying good night and retreats to your room.

You definitely noticed the changes in him after that night. He looks defeated and troubled every time you see him. Is this your fault? Did your confession cause all of this? But he would’ve told you differently, no?

It’s a miracle you’re catching him eating breakfast in the kitchen since had been avoiding you. “Hey Hobi you alright?” that seemed to shake him out of his thoughts.

“Y/N, hey you scared me” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Hobi what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge”. He looks at you thoughtfully though you can't quite figure out what his eyes are telling you.

“I’m fine Y/N, just busy these days. You know how serious Yoongi is in this songwriting club that we just started” disappointment crossed your features at his dismissal of your concern. Maybe he just needs space, but it’s not like you’ve been clinging to him more than usual after your confession. Everything’s normal, even better, at least for you.

Hoseok flinched when he saw your disheartened face. He’s been trying to act like nothing’s going on even though he’s been frustrated on what to do next. He’s literally helpless. He needs to let this out to Namjoon since he knows he’s rational and would know what to do in any kind of situation.

“Oh okay, just tell me when you’re ready hmm?” you hoped that sounded less disappointed of him not opening to you. He didn’t even look at you when you hollered to say goodbye for class.

He couldn't look at you since he's afraid he'll slip up. He has to settle himself first before telling you. He wouldn't want to cause you any more pain so he needs to be prepared.

One morning, you woke up with the silent house. Maybe Hoseok went for an early jog so you helped yourself in the kitchen where you saw the breakfast that he already prepared.

“Had to leave early, here's your breakfast! :)” - Hobi <3

Ugh, why are you still not used to him being sweet when he was always like this? Okay maybe things just magnified once you realized your feelings for him.

You wonder where he went though. Sohye? Nah, you don't think so.You both just went back to normal so you're not going to be the reason to put you both in that awkward situation again.

You dismissed your thoughts and decided to do full house cleaning since it's the weekend. And hey, you kinda miss cleaning so-

The doorbell rang and you dropped your cleaning supplies to check. That's strange, you didn't order anything so it must be Hoseok's.

He's nervous. Scratch that, he's fucking terrified of meeting Sohye's parents. Not only that, he lied to you again. This one just an addition to the rising amount of lies he now seems easily to do to his best friend.

"Just relax, they're gonna love you" Sohye's trying to calm him down by caressing his arms but he pulled away.

"Are you sure that's even mine? How do I fucking know for sure?" he hissed and Sohye whined.

"Would I fucking involve my parents if this isn't serious? You didn't know the shit I went through after they found out" her voice came out meekly which surprised him.

Hoseok paused. He's been too absorbed of what's happening to him to the point that he didn't even think of what Sohye is feeling for all of this.

Sure she annoyed the fuck outta him but if this baby she's carrying is actually his, then Sohye's going to be one of his responsibilities too.

"What? I- I thought they were supportive Sohye" his voice is calm compared to the usual harshness and this startled her.

"We're still in university, this pregnancy will delay my graduation so duh" she tried to be dismissive about it but Hoseok can see the subtle troubled look in her eyes.

When they reached the Ahn residence, Hoseok's heartbeat seemed to multiply even more. Sohye intertwined their hands and he didn't bother stopping her because he couldn't really think of anything right now.

Sohye’s parents welcomed them both and guided them to the living room where they’ll discuss the “future”. Hoseok couldn’t help but feel that he needs to make a good impression to Sohye’s parents otherwise.

“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Ahn I’m Jung Hoseok” Hoseok bowed and smiled though he still can’t meet their eyes with his own.

“Oh you’re so polite and warmingly charming” Mrs. Ahn mused with an endearing voice.

“So you are the one who knocked up my daughter” Mr. Ahn spat, eyes now glaring at Hoseok and he played with the scrutinizing eyes.

“Dad, can you please not scare him?” Sohye shrieked, shielding Hoseok from her father.

“She’s right sweetie, calm down hmm? Hoseok’s seem to be a good boy” Hoseok is kind of relieved that at least Mrs. Ahn is nicer to him than the latter.

“So when’s the wedding date?”

Everyone went silent as soon as Mr. Ahn dropped the million dollar question.

Mrs. Ahn looked intently at the both of them while She's giving expectant looks to Hoseok who can’t seem to remove his gaze from the floor.

Finally after a long inhale of breath, Hoseok raised his eyes to face Mr. Ahn .

“With all due respect,”

“You ARE marrying my daughter am I correct?” Mr. Ahn cutting him off made him falter but he has to man up now. This isn’t something he can run away from anymore.

“Dad, me and Hobi still wanted to graduate,” Sohye stated.

“But you both will have a child soon so it’s better to get married now before your graduation” Mrs. Ahn added, her demeanour now getting serious.

Hoseok’s panicking right now but he doesn’t care anymore if it looked obvious as he was trying to find alternative ways to escape this route, surely there has to be other than marriage.

This will ruin everything that he's planned for himself and well, you. The thought of you made Hoseok winced.

You who he's already hurting

You who loves him for as long you could remember

You who do not know about any of this

You who is-

"Hoseok!" hands tugging his arms made him come back to reality where Sohye's been trying to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"What's your answer going to be? Mr. Ahn and Hoseok gulped.

"I-um I'll marry her" his voice came out stable which surprised him. Is he really gonna be doing this? Get married? He's not even ready but how about Sohye?

The thought of Sohye keeping their child from him if he ever refuses made him convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.

"Really? Omg that's great!" Sohye squealed along with her mother sharing the happiness with Hoseok's decision while Mr. Ahn was looking at Hoseok with knowing eyes.

"Come along" Sohye's father gestured him to their mansion's garden and now the nervousness is back on Hoseok's veins.

"Sir-"

"You don't love my daughter, I know.I can see it, I'm not blind kid"

Hoseok gasped lightly. Well he shouldn't be surprised since his expressions have always been obvious. Dammit why can't he be better in acting?

"I-yes you're right" he's been trying to calm down but he couldn't stop his legs from fidgeting.

"But you're marrying my daughter regardless" Mr. Ahn wondered.

"It's the right thing to do" he responded firmly which surprised the older man.

Silence ruled the both of them until Mrs. Ahn called in for lunch.

You opened your door to a mailman delivering what seems to be baby supplies. Huh?

"Uhm sorry, did you get the wrong address? the mailman stared back at you warily before showing you the receipt that displays Hoseok’s name.

“This is Mr. Jung Hoseok’s residence is it not?” you were caught off guard to the sassiness of the mailman so you grabbed the boxes he was holding.

“Yes, thank you” you offered an embarrassing smile.

“You’re welcome and congrats by the way” he replied while eyeing the boxes and immediately left.

You stood there for a while trying to process what the mailman just said. He thought you’re Hoseok’s wife or something? He thought you’re pregnant? Wait.

Baby supplies. Why would Hoseok need baby supplies?

And then it struck you,

Sohye.

Your heart shattered with the revelation that you almost dropped the boxes. Why? Why would Hoseok lie to you again? You both just made up and now this?

He confuses tf out of you. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt you but here he is, hurting you even more each day.

Fuck, you feel pathetic. Bet your homegirls back in uni’s gonna laugh at how much you’ve become weak just because of a boy.

But he’s not just some boy,

He’s your best friend,

And the love of your life

But lately with the lies and secrets, you’re not even sure if you know him anymore.

The lunch with the Ahn family consisted of talking about the wedding plans, all seems to be a blur to Hoseok as he just keeps nodding to whatever they say to him.

“Hobi, honey, when do you think is the perfect date?” Sohye grasps his arm which makes him turn to her and he’s trying not to barf with the endearment she just called him because her parents are around.

“Uh-idk I have to talk to my folks first” he replied nervously which made both Sohye’s parents focus on him.

Fuck.

“Yeah he didn’t know about it so take it easy” Sohye whined at her parents.

“And besides, I’m not even sure if that baby is mine” he added. The sudden accusatory remark towards Sohye changed the atmosphere, cold all of the sudden and Hoseok immediately regretted the words that came out from him.

Where in the fucking world did he even get the confidence to say out loud what’s been bugging him in this situation.

“What did you just say?” Mr. Ahn growled, actually now getting angry. Sohye went rigid beside Hoseok and speechless and Mrs. Ahn let out a surprised gasp.

Shit, it’s now or never.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t trust anything that comes from your daughter, seeing as how she’s been chasing and threatening me since the beginning of the school year” he stated, voice hard while glaring at Sohye knowingly.

“How dare you insult us in our own home?” Mrs. Ahn yelled at him. Hoseok’s confidence faltered, vanishing but he stood on his ground.

“I’m serious, I won’t marry her until I know for sure if it’s mine” Hoseok’s proud that his voice came out stable.

“Sohye, why don’t you guide Hoseok out” Mr.Ahn stated calmly which made Hoseok nervous again, the old man must have felt betrayed given how Hoseok suddenly changed his mind after their talk earlier.

The table was silent until Sohye stood up wordlessly and grabbed Hoseok towards the outside of their mansion.

Before they could even reach the gate, a sudden hand landed on Hoseok’s left cheek.

“Fuck you Hoseok” Sohye grits her teeth, eyes with fury while looking at him intently.

No lie, that slap hurts but Hoseok didn’t even care because his eyes were on the gate.

On you.

And you’re in rage now that you witnessed what just happened and Hoseok knows how protective you are of him.

The lack of response caused Sohye followed his gaze, now on you and she laughs, hysterically.

You were already walking towards them with that furious expression, the one that actually scares Hoseok.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TO SLAP HIM YOU BITCH” you screamed with fury the moment you reach the both of them and was about to grab Sohye but Hoseok stopped you just in time.

“Y/N stop!” Hoseok’s trying to stop your arms that are reaching Sohye who’s still laughing, clearly amused by your outburst. She wonders if you already know but judging by Hoseok’s anxious eyes looking back at her, she knew it was the latter.

Well, what a perfect time.

“Oh Y/N, what are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you” Sohye smiled at you mockingly, obviously trying to get into your skin and you’re falling for it.

“Cut the crap you bitch, how dare you-” you were about to attack again and actually almost succeeded because you actually caught her arm when-

“She’s pregnant Y/N stop!” Hoseok shouted which made you froze from flailing your arms around and you jerked in shock.

The devastated expression that emerged from your beautiful face made Hoseok’s heart lurched. He didn’t have the intention of telling you this way, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“W-What?” your mind went blank. You came here expecting an explanation from Hoseok about the baby supplies package you received earlier. Why is he so goddamn good at hurting his best friend? No this is a joke, this has to be.

“Yes, Y/N I am pregnant and Hoseok’s the father” Sohye squealed, looking at you with those triumphant eyes with a slick smile. Wait, does she know of your feelings?

You averted your eyes to Hoseok now that the truth is out. You were hoping for a different reaction but the moment his eyes met yours, they’re full of shame. Fuck, it really hurts coming from him.

The realization finally crept into your mind with everything that's been happening to Hoseok ever since the night of your confession.

Sohye, avoiding you, going somewhere without telling you..it all makes sense now. But what's not making sense is how he kept lying to you all this time.

"Y-YN-" Hoseok is like a deer caught in headlights, guilty eyes that are now morphing into full of panic. He knows you, does he really though? He doesn't even know himself anymore.

You're usually composed, especially with other people around. You're that kind of person who remains calm even in rough commotions. But it's totally different when it involves the man you cherish and love..

And before you could reply, a middle aged couple emerged behind Hoseok who reminded you of Sohye and remembered that you're in their premises, the Ahn residence.

"What is going on here?" Mrs.Ahn eyed the three of you suspiciously, primarily staring at you. Ah, the stranger.

"Nothing Mom, this is Y/N, Hoseok's best friend" Sohye smiled sarcastically to you with those knowing eyes, challenging you to continue.

Embarrassment filled you once you came back to reality and snatched your arms from Hoseok's grasp. Breathing deeply, you tried to compose yourself before looking up at both of Sohye's parents.

"Really? I thought she IS his girlfriend given the fact that he had refused to marry you" Mr.Ahn stated coldly, still eyes on Y/N.

Hoseok turned around to face Sohye's parents, thinking of putting his arm around you but hesitated.

He knows you're mad at him so he opted to move slowly in front of you, trying to protect you from the scrutinizing eyes of Sohye's parents. Noticing this you raised your chin and looked directly into Mr. Ahn's eyes.

"No, I'm not his girlfriend but he's one of the most important people in my life as I am to him so whatever situation you've put him through, I need to know" you seethed, eyes full of determination though the phrase "not his girlfriend" almost distracted you.

You're surprised your voice came out confident despite the nervousness that might be etched now on your face.

"Well young lady, we were just talking with your friend about wedding preparations but seems like he's changing his mind" Mrs. Ahn glared at Hoseok.

"I already told you that I have to talk to my family first and figure out what really happened that night. I'll update you as soon as I can, I swear" he hurriedly explained, nervously looking back at you to gauge your reactions.

"Alright then, we hope to hear from you soon". Mr. Ahn replied coldly, his eyes landing on Y/N and that made Hoseok uneasy.

Sohye's parents went back inside and you stepped back from behind Hoseok with a stoic expression, in no way you'll show Sohye how affected despite of your suspicion that she knows already.

"Brave of you to come here Y/N, but props you both are fun to watch" she chuckled and you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction so you fought yourself, bitch.

"I'm just fetching Hoseok and since I think everything's done here, we're leaving" you turned around, not waiting for any response from the both of them. You felt hurried steps behind you,trying to catch up but you didn't bother.

Inside the car, the silent tension that surrounds the both of you is deafening. Hoseok nibbled his lips anxiously, feeling your anger from the revelation earlier. It's his fault so he has to settle this down before arriving home.

"Y/N I'm sor–"

"You lied to me, again" you cut him off with a blank expression, tone contemptuous.

"I know but–"

"We promised each other after that night that there would be no lies anymore" you bristled.

"I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already am okay?!" he blurted out, eyes turning glassy. Hoseok's trying to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up.

You sneered and didn't bother to respond,the nerve of him to be upset in this situation.

"I'll sleep at Namjoon's" he mumbled meekly and you quickly dropped him at his friend’s house.

“Good night Y/N” he inhaled sharply when you didn’t respond or even looked back at him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, exiting the car with a gloomy expression.

You waited on your seat for a while, trying to hold in every emotion that has been building until he was further away. Hands turning white as you grip the steering wheel, you took a deep breath and started bawling your eyes out in pain.

In excruciating pain. What’s going to happen between you and Hoseok now? All your hopes of a future together are now shattered. It was going so well, you confessed and he gave you a chance and now this.

To Namjoon’s surprise, it was a miserable Hoseok who’s standing in front of his dorm room instead of the japchae delivery he’s been expecting. He didn’t ask for more and stepped aside to let his friend in.

“Alright man what happened?” Namjoon asked worriedly and Hoseok’s tears welled up in his before exhaling deeply.

“She knows Joon” Hoseok whispered, trying to stop his tears and Namjoon sat down on the couch urging his friend to continue.

“Everything happened so fast..Y/N was going after Sohye after she saw her slap me so I had to admit the truth right there” he felt his throat closing up when he recalled your crushed reaction earlier. How he wishes he could’ve told you in a different situation.

"She'll find out eventually though" another voice replied, and Hoseok turned his head back to see another person coming in the living room. Immediately recognizing Namjoon's roommate he walked up to him and hissed,

"You told me nothing happened that night!" he yelled and poor Taehyung grabbed Hoseok's arm that's on his collar in an attempt to calm him down.

Namjoon immediately stood up in panic and rushed towards both boys, struggling to get Hoseok off from Taehyung.

"Hobi, hey, calm down" Namjoon spoke calmly and Hoseok let go of Taehyung instantly.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I swear the only time I saw you was when we were drinking and the morning after. Jungkook told me you left with someone so I thought that was Y/N coming to pick you up" the younger man reasoned with fear, knowing how Hoseok gets when he's absolutely angry.

"Well it wasn't, it was Ahn Sohye and we slept together apparently" he answered slowly, more calmer now. What's the point of blaming other people when it already happened, it's going to change anything.

Only Namjoon knew at the beginning as soon as Hoseok heard the news and told him immediately, asking for help. Meanwhile the rest of his friend group didn't know about it until, well starting now.

"Stay for the night, you're always welcome here anyways" Namjoon patted Hoseok's shoulders softly and grabbed Taehyung to set up for dinner, which just arrived when they heard a knock from the door.

"Thanks Joon, and sorry for my outburst earlier Tae" he shuffled the younger's hair affectionately.

Hoseok wasn't there in the morning and a few mornings after that. You debated to ask his sister if she knew about this whole thing or what. She could've known and just didn't want to tell you to spare your feelings but you didn't care.

Calling Jiwoo 언니..

"Hello? Y/N?" she answered cautiously. Ah, always obvious just like her little brother.

"So you knew" you muttered passively. How could she? You both are like sisters from different mothers.

"Don't be mad please, I just found out too!" voice laced with alarm.

When you didn't reply she then proceeded to explain to you that Hoseok did go to his family to tell them the entirety of the situation. Why didn't he text you to meet there? Despite what happened, you would've been by his side, supporting him because that's what best friends do.

But then you remember last night and suddenly your anger resurfaced and you ended the call immediately, getting ready to leave only to be greeted by Seokjin at the door.

"Good morning" he smiled at you, filled with compassion.

"They sent you didn't they?" you snarled, frowning at his handsome face as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hoseok actually since you know, you can't cook. He just wants to make sure you get a proper breakfast" he mused, rummaging the kitchen for ingredients.

"How sweet of him" you replied sarcastically, taking a seat at the kitchen counter with both hands on your face to cover your expression from Jin.

"Hey give him a break, all this is not easy for him too" he stated solemnly, giving you a serious look, placing the waffles and omelet that he just cooked.

You glared at him and started eating silently. Seeing him sit in front of you, you know he's looking at you closely deciphering your current emotions.

"I'm fine" you stated as you looked up at him and though his eyes widened at your lack of sadness, his eyes are still skeptical.

"No, you're not. We heard what happened" he answered with caution. You almost faltered but you remained composed, acting dismissive as usual.

"I AM fine, drop it Seokjin" you jeered. Seokjin wanted a reaction from you so there you have it, only anger though. He texted the rest that you seem to be alright and that they'll meet with others soon.

"Hurry, we're going somewhere" he quickly cleaned up the table and gestured to you to follow him outside. You grumbled but agreed anyways.

"If you're bringing me to Hoseok don't bother" you glanced at him blankly before looking outside the car window, obviously you don't want to seek him out unless he needs something from you.

"No you'll help us prepare, the boys want your opinion" Jin explained calmly, still wary of your mood.

You didn't answer him and just scoffed so he took it as a yes. You don't want any confrontation from the rest of Hoseok's friends but you can't really escape them so might as well.

Tonight, you saw the lights are on as you're walking into the driveway.

He's home, and you're nervous on how to approach him.

“I’ll be your maid of honour” you whispered. Hoseok looked up at you, eyes surprised at your sudden conviction.

“W-What? B-but Y/N..” he tried reaching on your arm but you stepped back and that made him pause. Hoseok should feel happy that you’re going to his wedding but he can’t help but feel wrong.

“My decision’s final, I don’t care but don’t try to stop me. I already confirmed with your sister” you stated coldly, still not looking into his eyes.

"I don't like hurting you, Y/N please. You don't have to attend the wedding, it's fine with me" his voice pleading, still trying to convince you despite your final decision earlier.

See? How can you not love him? Even in rough times like this, he is still considerate of your feelings.

You sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m your best friend and this is an important part of your life so I should be there” you stated, finally looking back into his eyes.

You're not gonna cry

You're not

You're getting tired of it..

Focusing on other thoughts to stop yourself from crying you didn't notice Hoseok approaching you slowly. When his hands cupped your face, it broke out your reverie.

"Y/N, I-"

You already have a feeling of what he's going to say the moment you met his eyes earlier, they've always been so expressive.

"Don't. Not now Hoseok, not anymore" you looked at his eyes that mirror with your sadness. He inhaled sharply, eyes changing with determination.

"No, Y/N" the way he says your name with a smile is making you nervous and before you could muster a response, a pair of soft lips touched yours and you immediately closed your eyes.

Is this finally happening? Hoseok kissing you? You only hoped about this before but you didn't think it's finally happening. He feels the same now right?

"Hoseok.." you croaked breathlessly after you released each other. He didn't release his hold on your face in which you're leaning, hoping that this is not only your imagination.

"Let me show you.. please.." his eyes begged. Not gonna lie, you've been waiting for this moment to happen but you both see it in a different way.

Him, showing gratitude while you..

While you're taking advantage of him for your own selfish reasons.

Bringing your hands up on top of his face, you smiled back at him and nodded.

He’s giving you a chance, though this seems like charity even but you don’t care anymore.

So you did.

Hoseok woke up the next day feeling relieved but mostly happy to have finally shown you his feelings, though he’s not sure if you heard his declaration last night. Expecting your presence beside him he turned around and reached out, only to find an empty space.

Suddenly sitting up in dread, he looked around trying to find you. Getting up and hastily putting on his clothes, he went outside directly to the kitchen but you are nowhere to be found. His chest tightened at the thought of you leaving him after what happened last night.

Was he too forward? But you gladly accepted him. Was that an act? D-did you already fall out of love from him?

Before he could continue his thoughts, his phone dinged beside him at the counter. Though he’s expecting Sohye, the text surprisingly came from his sister.

[지우 Noona: Y/N’s and I are in the boutique right now, where are you?]

[Hobi: jwu why? am I needed somewhere?]

[지우 Noona: Go meet with the wedding planner with Sohye in an hour]

He was gonna ask about you but hesitated. Why didn't you text him or leave a note? You just acted like nothing happened and that made Hoseok concerned.

Damn. When you said you'll help with the wedding preparations, you didn't expect to be leading the way. Apparently, that's Hoseok's request according to the wedding planner.

You've been giving your all into this, most likely because you want to distract yourself from what happened that night and what will happen in the wedding. You keep thinking of why Hoseok would want you when clearly, he doesn't feel anything for you.

Or does he?

You weren't sure if you were just imagining him saying "I love Y/N" when his arms were holding you tight after your rendezvous the night before. It must be your subconscious trying to fulfill your innermost desire, for your best friend to love you back.

"Hey, Y/N you alright? You look a little worned out" Jiwoo looked at you worriedly, running her eyes around your face.

Yeah your brother drained tf out of me..

"WHAT?!!" you jerked with her shrieking and then you realized you said that thought out loud and your face flushed with shame.

Fuck.

"Uh-" now you can't look at her eyes, cheeks going red with what you just told her.

fuckfuckfuck

"Omgggg, now I get why" she happily mused that made you raise your eyebrows back at her.

"Wtf why?" you shifted uncomfortably, never before you've been this aloof to Hoseok's sister until now.

"I texted him earlier but he said he's still at home at this time which surprised me" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

"He's about to get married, you know" you smiled bitterly, gaze focusing on the white wedding dress on display. Would've been lovely if you're the one who's getting married to Hoseok.

"And? It's not like he and Sohye are in a relationship" she huffed. Jiwoo's right but somehow, that didn't change the already creeping guilt inside you.

"Whatever, that's never happening again" you scoffed but she looks at you suspiciously.

"I'm serious, I value marriage and it will be a form of cheating if that happens again after the ceremony so, no" you firmly stated, looking away. You've been planning to distance yourself after the wedding since that would be what's best for both you and Hoseok.

Jiwoo looked at you wistfully, with sympathetic eyes that you've been getting used to from the people around you the moment Hoseok and Sohye's wedding was announced.

"Y/N, I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know how much you love him" she replied softly, laced with emotion since you're like a little sister to her, after all she was hoping you'll end up with her little brother.

"It's okay, I'm used to it" you smiled curtly, your expression changing back to neutral like it has always been.

Since you've put all your time into the wedding preparations which clearly affected your academic performance, the preparations went smoothly as you planned.

Hoseok's been trying to corner you, but you're silently thankful for the people who keep distracting him because you're clearly not ready to talk to him.

Isn't that what you've always wanted? Now why are you running away? I mean you are going to eventually but you promised you'll be there for him. Fuck it, just a little bit more..

On the night before his wedding, you've stayed in your hotel room again like what you've been doing the entire time when you know Hoseok's around. You didn't even go to the bachelorette party you were clearly invited for and he's having a stag night too.

Around 3am you were awakened by loud knocks of your hotel door and for the sake of other guests on this floor, you dragged your feet and opened the door impulsively.

Only to see a drunk Hoseok, groggily smiling at you.

"Why are you here? It's already early morning" you hissed and he just giggled in response.

"Wanna see you" he pouted and you gestured to him just in case he'll vomit which is about to happen as you see his face contorted.

"Fuck come here quick!" you're rubbing his back as he releases all remnants of his stomach into the toilet when he staggered.

"Y/N I'm sorry" his voice sounded so broken and you straightened yourself. He's not gonna remember anything in the morning anyways so what's the point.

You didn't answer him but you helped him clean up and before you can even talk to him, he's already knocked out on your bed. Should you call someone to get him? But everyone's asleep now, screw it.

You stayed beside Hoseok, staring at his sleeping face for the last time, the last time you'll be able to be this near to him since he'll be a married man tomorrow. You can't stop your tears as you run your hands through his face.

"I love you Hoseok, I love you so much that I am letting you go" you stopped yourself to cry louder in case it'll wake him up. You wrapped your arms around him, relishing a few hours of selfishness on your own end.

The morning comes and you're dreading to let go of Hoseok. He woke up with you already staring at him and you jerked.

"Here are painkillers, drink that before you go" you handed them to him but he grabbed you wrist instead, silently pleading you to look at him.

"Y/N, let's run away" he croaked. Hoseok actually heard you the night before, heard you letting go of him and it crushed everything in him, hearing your voice so broken because of him and he wants to make you feel better even though you both know how late it is already.

"What? Are you crazy? You're getting married hours from now" you yelled at him. You've never lashed out on him like this but his plan is ridiculous. You're already guilty of sleeping with him and now he wanted to elope?

"I don't care, I just–" a knock from the door made him pause and your eyes widened. Fuck fuck fuck. You and Hoseok looked at each other's eyes full of panic now.

You walked towards the door and prepared yourself for any interrogation when you were met with sleepy eyes and a smirk.

"Wtf do you want Yoongi" you seethed, you haven’t slept properly since you tried to stay awake as much as possible.

After hearing that it's only his friend, Hoseok appeared behind you, with a relief expression.

"You two looked like shit, be thankful I volunteered to get him" he snickered and you glared at him.

"Nothing happened" you answered nonchalantly but Yoongi's teasing smirk is still on so you turned back to Hoseok but then you're suddenly enveloped with a firm hug, with Hoseok's face nuzzling your neck.

"Thank you" he hummed and released you. You can tell through his eyes that he wanted to stay longer and talk to you more but you shake your head.

"Alright man let's go, they've been looking everywhere for you" Yoongi grabbed Hoseok who's still reluctant to leave.

"Go, Hoseok" you slightly push him towards Yoongi with a serious tone and just when they were about to leave, Jiwoo suddenly appeared in the corner.

“I knew it, I should’ve looked here first. Thank you Yoongi” the boy just nodded back at Jiwoo gave you the "i told you so" look, though not judgmental, you felt the need to clarify to prove your point the last time you talked.

Time of the wedding,

Time to let Hoseok go, permanently.

You are the maid of honour so you have no choice but to put on a happy face especially in front of Hoseok's parents who were constantly checking on you during preparations with apprehension.

After the bridesmaids and groomsmen have walked the aisle, it's finally your turn and it fucking sucks since you have to walk alone.

You took a deep breath before raising your chin up, and faced everyone as they looked at you walking up to the altar. However, your eyes are only on Hoseok as you imagine that it was you he's waiting for, not the actual bride behind you.

Hoseok is doing the same thing, ironically. He's imagining that it's you he is marrying, the person he truly loves but it's too late for that so he should just focus on Sohye.

He continued his daydreaming until Jungkook nudged him since the youngest best man is the closest to him than the other 6, breaking his thoughts and facing the reality that Sohye is the bride, not you.

When the officiant asked if there was someone who disagrees with the couple's union, your body wanted to stand up and tell everyone how you really feel. You felt Jiwoo's arms around your shoulders, hoping to provide the comfort that you needed but you shrugged her arms off.

You wouldn't mind usually but you're in her little brother's wedding and you've been refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes until the officiant proceeded with the next part of the ceremony. You can't look at him or else you'll crumble and there's no way you'll embarrass yourself in front of his family and yours.

Surprisingly, your parents came when you invited them. It would usually have to be Hoseok or any of his family members invite them to come though you already have a suspicion that it's not the only reason why.

“Do you Jung Hoseok, promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her and hold only unto her forever more?” this caused you to finally look back at Hoseok. He stayed silent for a few moments which made everyone chatter in whisper but as soon as his eyes found yours, he smiled, full of longing.

"I do"

You closed your eyes as tears fell from them, unable to hold his gaze anymore. It might be improper to look back on the best night of your life but you can’t help it, you just want to hear Hoseok say it again, over and over.

“I love you Y/N”

Another morning of Hoseok waking up without you in his life. Tears ran down the sides of his face when he remembered, but this one is longer and the clearest of them all.

That dream's too vivid for him to handle. He smiled bitterly as he remembered all the memories, starting from the beginning up until the shift of your friendship that severed you both.

Chuckling pathetically at himself to even have the audacity to think of you when he's the very main reason you were gone. He just misses you so much.

In your absence, he indulged himself into alcohol only because he remembers you nagging him to be mindful of his tolerance. He knows it's not good for him, but it's the only way to forget his pain of losing you.

It's not like he's being irresponsible to the point of getting piss drunk, he just drinks when he's alone because that's when the thought of you creeps back into his mind.

Getting up to face another day of wallowing, he decided to come down to the basement to do some cleaning. The mini studio, the only thing he has of you left. This is the reason why he didn't wanna sell the house in the first place.

He then went to a nearby speaker and set the song you both choreographed ages ago, another memory coming up, haunting him.

"Alright that's it, it's been a minute! Surely that's enough right?" you whined at Hoseok, heaving since you've been dancing for like hours now.

"It's less than a minute! Come on, we're just doing the extended chorus" he giggled and you rolled your eyes.

"But yeah, we don't have to do the whole song" his eyes trained on you and the folded Led Zeppelin shirt on the chair. You followed his gaze through and found him eyeing your precious shirt.

"I'm gonna wear it when we're filming this dance, it's from my grandma remember? And I'm gonna pair it with those red orange pants you gifted me on my birthday" you fondly explained to him.

Hoseok never took you for being sentimental since you always act dismissive when you receive gifts from him.

The voice of Troye Sivan echoing throughout the room brought him back to the present reality. He still feels you around the house, especially here so he went in front of the mirror and readied himself.

He looked back at his reflection in the mirror, instantly seeing you beside him with an affectionate smile. He lets himself give in to his imaginations, just this time. Starting the moves smoothly, Hoseok will always remember this choreo out of all the ones he made because it's you.

Always have been you but he was a coward for not acting on his feelings earlier. The song ended and he fell into his knees, hitting the floor while another gut-wrenching sobs escaped his mouth.

You laid out your feelings for him but he doubted himself when he clearly feels the same so now here he is.

Still in grief full of regrets..

Still wishing you'll come back to him..

Still clinging to the ghost of you..

taglist : @hobisnesseu @ggukkieland @sheprocrastinatesalot @hoebii @jeonsbun @iamscharene

It's up to you where Y/N is or what happened to her :')

And yes the dance is by Hobi and Ryujin from Highlight Reel ♡

Thank you for reading! Feedback's greatly appreciated!

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