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nnight-dances · 11 months

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REPETITION / RARE LOVE

pairings: kim mingyu x fem!reader (ft. yoon jeonghan)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive & sexual content

tropes: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers (except mingyu's the only idiot), pining, flirting

warnings: explicit language, banter, alcohol consumption, borderline jeonghan slander but it's okay because i would die for the man, has been proofread by me once but only barely. kazuha (le sserafim) is your roommate, huh yunjin is present.

WHAT TO EXPECT

it's simple enough: you and mingyu are perfect for each other. you've told him as much but after years of him avoiding the topic, you leave him alone. but when your long-time infatuation with jeonghan gets rejected, you have nothing to distract you from your desire to be with mingyu. all it takes is you making out with the wrong person and a can of beer for mingyu to come to his senses. (about 11k)

OR: maybe you don't hate repetition as much as you claim to.

SEQUEL OUT NOW!

“why are men on tinder actually vile?” you question out loud, not quite expecting an answer as your eyes continue to read the offensive opener you’d received from a recent match. mingyu, who’s crouched on the desk across from you, frowns.

“y/n, we’re meant to be studying,” he points out, “but also i thought you were over tinder?”

you look at him blankly, “i am! i just gotta finish what i started you know…”

mingyu looks deeply disappointed in you and you slide your phone across to him, “look at this message i just got! it’s disgusting! i don’t need to know if someone’s wet at the thought of—”

“god, y/n, do you have to scream?” he asks as he takes hold of your phone, busying his fingers probably with blocking the guy. you momentarily look back at your screen where the black document meant to be the outline for your final art history paper taunts you.

you sigh, looking down at your phone when mingyu returns it. “i paused your account and deleted the app.” you sigh yet again, “man! if you were gonna uninstall it without my permission you should’ve just deleted my account.”

“you’d just make another one anyway,” he shrugs, “plus, this way when you go back you’ll remember why you left in the first place.”

you grumble something under your breath but resume your attempts at writing. mingyu smiles a little as he goes back to his own work. a beat passes before, he puts his pen down again and when he sees you’re staring at your screen distantly, he asks, “did you talk to jeonghan yet?”

you gasp at the mention of your years-old crush, glancing around you as if you weren’t in a private study room (because apparently the only way either of you could get anything done was while talking to each other). “what?” mingyu continues, “one of us had to address the elephant in the room.”

“wow, you’re just the worst friend ever, aren’t you? it’s like you can’t read rooms at all. i clearly did not want to talk about jeonghan.”

“well, now you are. so you might as well be honest with me. did you think about confessing to him?”

you deflate, stomach suddenly uneasy, “no. i don’t think i will. i don’t need him to know.”

“you kinda do. y/n, look at me,” mingyu knocks on the wood to demand your attention, “it’s the only way you’ll ever have an answer.”

“i don't want an answer.”

“…”

"because i'm going to move on from him!"

"..."

“okay, well, i’m starting to! just watch me, okay? i have the agency to not be completely consumed by my very shallow attraction to a very attractive and impressive man.”

“right. you just used attractive twice in a sentence— and no, i don’t care if it wasn’t the same form of the word, you absolutely hate redundant things. and yet, you refuse to recognize the way out of this pattern of yours.”

“you are so tiring, mingyu, you know that? exhausting, even. i don’t want to do this anymore.” you shake your head at him, suddenly invigorated to finish this damn preliminary proposal of yours.

—

yunjin cackles as she plops down across from you in the dining hall, finding you scrolling ever so dedicatedly on pinterest. “what’s this?”

you look up at her with a pout, “i need a dress for hoshi’s little party. it’s in two weeks and i have zero options.”

“fuck, i knew i was forgetting something,” she grimaces in her typical huh yunjin way and shifts closer, “i need to find something for that too. can’t just wear a corset and call it day since he’s labelling it a formal and whatnot.”

“he really is the worst,” you agree, pausing to muse over a pretty white dress with red roses all over it. “hmm, what about this one?”

yunjin tilts her head and nods as she looks between you and the dress, probably imagining you in it. then, you sigh, “it’s just i don’t think red is my color like that.”

you’re about to elaborate when you hear a gasp from behind you, “that is simply not true!” you don’t have time to react when a figure slides in next to you. goddamnit, it’s jeonghan, you realize, trying hard to keep it together when his shoulder comes to sit next to yours. “you absolutely fucking rock the color red.”

“i do?” is all you can muster as yunjin chokes out a badly covered laugh. you glare at her, “what’s funny, jen?”

“hah, nothing, i agree with jeonghan, you’d look lovely in red.”

you frown, unconvinced as you scroll some more, feeling dizzy from jeonghan’s presence.

“preparing for hoshi’s party i presume?” jeonghan asks and you nod. “i’m so stressed, i have nothing and it’s approaching so fast.”

“you have time though,” he reassures but you’re quick to protest, “i’m not going to have any time next week because we’re organizing that night flea market. i’ll be running around campus so i need to take a trip this week.” the beauty of going to a college with an isolated campus: peace and you gotta plan every time you leave campus because there’s a singular bus that takes you to the city. it’d be a whole day trip for you if not for mingyu, who thankfully has a car that he can drive.

“ahh, tell me when you’re going into the city, y/n,” yunjin pats you, “i gotta go too.”

you nod and then remember, “right of course, i just remembered kazuha saying she wanted to come too.”

“nice,” yunjin approves, “we need all the opinions we can get. did you get mingyu to agree to drive you yet?”

“i texted him earlier but he hasn’t replied, which is slightly concerning because he may not know how to spell but he does write back very fast.”

jeonghan chuckles, “mind if i join you guys too?”

you stop in your tracks, turning to face him, “you wanna come shopping with us?”

he nods, that sweet smile of his plastered across his face, “yeah, i could use a new formal outfit. i’m tired of wearing the same black suit to everything.” he nudges your side, “plus, you guys could help me out. i can never decide on anything all alone.”

—

“maybe i should just not go,” you groan with your head in your hands. mingyu rolls his eyes, slapping your back, “why would not go? if your problem’s with jeonghan, he should be the one to stay back. not you.”

you sit back up, staring at the eggs in your plate. beside you, mingyu chugs his glass of orange juice, and you lean against him. “god, i hate him so much. do you wanna go see if the playground’s free?”

“right now?” mingyu looks at the time. it’s 11 am on saturday, still an hour from the time everyone agreed to meet in front of mingyu’s car, which is conveniently parked right across from the playground. as if following your line of thought, he grins, “alright. but you finish your food first.”

you sigh, “okay, mom, i will.”

five minutes later find you racing mingyu for the best swing in the playground— months of visiting the place had taught you the first swing was the only one that didn’t creak too loud and experienced the least amount of bumps during the ride. mingyu’s fast but you’re stubborn so you reach out for his arm midway, sticking your nails into the skin, knowing how dramatic he is about these things.

he gasps, “DO NOT CLAW ME.” strong as he might be, he slows down to rip your grip off. you seize the opportunity, getting a headstart and laugh when you reach the swing before him, sitting down firmly before mingyu can pull you away.

“that’s cheating, y/n, you know it!”

“hey, you’re the one that has an advantage. you go to the gym like eight times a week. i go like thrice a month.”

“sounds like someone’s lazy and whiny to me.”

you smile, “someone lazy wouldn’t win that race. and you’re the one that’s whining,” you point to his stance, his arms at his hips like an affronted toddler. he loosens his body with a pout as he walks over to the second swing. “whatever.”

time passes a little too fast for you two when you’re fighting like this because kazuha’s running over to you, breathless. “y/n! what are you guys doing?”

“zuha, hi! did you—”

“yep, i got your lip gloss.”

you chuckle, throwing your arms around her, “why are you the best roommate ever?”

mingyu scoffs, “what about you being the worst roommate ever?”

kazuha laughs, too nice to agree with him, “hey, that’s not true.” you hit him in the side, “you’re just jealous that you’re in a single. i guess money really does make people lonely.”

“i’d go for a double even if i was that rich,” jeonghan’s voice pops up from beside you. he sure has a knack for appearing out of thin air. “i couldn’t handle being alone.”

“not everyone can love themselves as much as i do,” mingyu shrugs, smugly as crosses his arms. “i’m self-sufficient like that.”

“if you guys are done, we should start moving,” comes yunjin’s voice from near mingyu’s car, “it’s already fifteen past 12.”

“i call shotgun!” yunjin shouts and you’re quick to fight back, “no way, i already called it.”

“if i didn’t hear it, then it doesn’t count,” she teases, leaning against the passenger side. you glare at mingyu, “i called it in front of mingyu! the driver is the one that counts.”

mingyu laughs at the petty fight, “y/n did call it earlier this morning.”

“that’s not fair! mingyu’s obviously going to take y/n’s side, you guys spend every breathing minute together. the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”

you smirk, “don’t be a sore loser, huh yunjin, you can call it when we’re coming back. if you remember to.”

“i hate you,” she mutters as everyone settles into the car.

“i’m open to music requests, dear friends,” you announce once you’ve started off. “but i reserve the right to reject any tasteless songs.”

“isn’t this the textbook example of a tyranny?” jeonghan breathes and you shoot him a look over your shoulder, “hey, the power comes with the seat. it’s natural selection.”

mingyu groans through laughter, “you know you don’t make any sense. just play some music.”

you roll your eyes, “he says as he laughs his fat ass off.”

“she’s just salty my ass is fatter than hers,” he mutters under his breath. the three in the backseat break into laughs at that, all at your expense as you gape at them. such betrayal.

“i don’t know why i call you friends. you’re monsters.”

kazuha pipes in, “y/n, are you calling your sweet roommate a monster right now?”

jeonghan is quick to join in, “honestly, i’d say kazuha is the nicest friend among us here.”

“fine, everyone but zuha’s out to get me right now.” the screaming continues for a little bit longer until yunjin and kazuha tire themselves out and pass out. you chuckle when you look at them, yunjin’s head bobs in the middle of the three until it hits kazuha’s shoulder, whose head then rests on top.

swiftly, you pull out your phone camera and capture the moment, sure to tease them later. as you’re clicking the photos, jeonghan’s face sticks into the corner with a sneaky grin and you shift the angle to include him. enjoying the attention, he shoots the camera a peace sign, followed by a little heart, and then a cheek heart and now he’s a bunny and then—

you pull yourself away abruptly with a shaky laugh, “god, jeonghan, this isn’t a photoshoot.”

he laughs back, “ha ha, sorry, i can’t help myself. it’s so fun to tease you like this.”

you feel the blood rush to your face at that, so you turn to face the road completely, a weak, “fuck off” on your tongue. mingyu silently observes the interaction, not without a little side-eye that you don’t know what to think of. “you should get some rest, y/n, you didn’t sleep last night.”

you frown, surprised mingyu knows that and you don’t get to ask him why he knows that because jeonghan interrupts, “you guys sure are close. i was talking to hoshi the other day, he misses y’all a lot.”

“he does? he can just come talk to us whenever though,” mingyu replies, doubt tracing his tone. “i don’t think we’re exclusive like that.”

“right?” you agree, “we used to be so close to hoshi, too, and then he moved to the other side of campus this semester and now i have like one class with him.”

“i don’t know,” jeonghan says, “you should talk to him about it, but there’s always been something stronger about the two of you together.”

you shrug, “we always end up together. it’s not that deep i think. it’s just how it is.”

the topic ends there as jeonghan agrees and dozes off himself too. you, however, feel eerily awake. awake? no, more like unsettled. something in your nerves is off and you feel on edge. you’re a little spaced out after that, as you finally reach the city circle with all the shops crowded next to each other with a little mall in the center.

as everyone gets off and gathers their things, mingyu pulls you aside with a concerned look, “are you okay, y/n?” his grip on your elbow grounds you a little. you inhale, knowing better than to pretend in front of him, “yeah, just a little uneasy. i don’t know why. probably just tired.”

mingyu looks like he knows something more about your condition, “are you sure? we can take a break at one of the restaurants before shopping if you want?”

“nah, i’m okay, don’t worry. i’m a strong girl,” you smile, reasurring him with a pat to his chest, “i feel better now. thanks, mingyu.”

he frowns, hand loosening against your skin, “you never thank me, weirdo. don’t be so formal.”

“man, there’s no winning with you, is there?”

he chuckles as he pulls you after the others, “no, i’m insatiable.”

—

an hour into shopping, you realize why you hate doing this. everything is so overwhelming when you’re in the city, so many people, so many clothes. at least you have friends with you as you scan racks after racks, ending up with three potential dresses on your arm. you mutter a prayer in your head that you can find something nice here so you don’t have to walk more. this is already your third store.

the first one is a classic: a little black dress. it’s satin so it sits smooth against your skin and feels soft when you twirl around. it’s a little short for your liking, perhaps too tight against your ass. you turn to the side to get a better look. you take a photo and send it to mingyu, who you’d been going back and forth with. he’d last sent you a photo ten minutes ago: him in a stupid minion onesie. you’d cursed him out real well in response telling him to stop fucking around. he writes back fast.

big gyu: u look good

big gyu: kinda basic tho

you: yea i thought so too

you agree with that, putting the dress aside in case you don’t find anything else at all.

candidate number two is more over the top: a long red dress with little black patterns on it, with a leg slit on one side. getting into it was a whole struggle but you get it on finally. it fits well thanks to the slit which also shows off some skin. you’re hot in it: like literally. the long sleeves don’t help at all. but you look good too, the flare doing wonders for your figure. you pause, sending a photo hoping mingyu would be of help.

however, when mingyu takes longer than a minute to reply, you groan, already sweating a little. concluding that he’s probably changing or something, you peek out your curtain, hoping yunjin was still in the stall next to yours. you call out her name, straining your neck to see if there was anyone else you could ask for help.

you spot jeonghan walking around the shelves near the fitting rooms and before you can hesitate to call him over, he notices your head poking out. he raises an eyebrow, sending your heartbeat into a spiral. “y/n? do you need help?”

you clear your throat, “um, yeah, i need a second opinion on this dress.” jeonghan approaches your corner and you panic when he reaches for the curtain to draw it back. his eyes question you, “can i look?” you let go of it to let him in, a tiny little rational part of you wondering he needed to come inside the room to see.

“ohhh,” he exclaims as he takes you in, “you look amazing. told ya red was your color.”

you turn away from him a little, “this dress is hot.”

“it sure is,” he agrees and you blush harder, “no i meant, like literally. i’m so hot right now.”

jeonghan presses his lips together, giving away the fact that he understands but being the little bitch he is, he chooses the option that makes you wanna combust. he presses two fingers to your cheek and mumbles, “yeah, you are.”

you push his arm off, “yoon jeonghan! you’re such a damn flirt! get out of here.” you force him out of your space and he’s uncontrollably laughing as he lets you. “i’ve another dress to try so wait outside for me.”

“sure you don’t need a hand changing—”

“no, thank you very much!” you scream, greeted with more pleased chuckling. your phone buzzes, catching your attention. you lean down to look at it.

big gyu: niceee thats hot

big gyu: u should get this dress

big gyu: pls

you: …girl why are u begging me

big gyu: because.

big gyu: you’re getting this dress right

you: no i’d die of overheating in it

big gyu: and it’d be worht it

you: i dont like how enthusiastic u are about this...

you: wtv this one's rejected.

you: i still have another dress to try

you put your phone down to try the final dress. this one was a purple slip dress with white flower detailing. it was skin tight against your boobs and a little transparent, giving away your black bra underneath. and to contrast, it sat a little loose on your hips which was honestly not the worst look, keeping from the dress becoming too scandalous. you enjoyed this dress the most so far. that was enough, given the track record.

“you done, y/n?” you’re startled when the voice outside is mingyu’s instead of jeonghan. you pull back the curtains in confusion, “gyu? what’re you doing here?” mingyu stops short, “fuck, i like this one.” you flush a little when you notice his eyes settle on your chest for a beat too long. “that’s stunning, for real.”

you laugh. “look at you using big words. but yeah, i think this is the one.” you look over at him, “did jeonghan leave?”

“um, yeah, he said he had to use the washroom when i ran into him on the way,” he mumbles. you nod, a little relieved because you think you’d die if he saw you right now. “anyway, i’m offended you were showing him your dresses and then all i got was a photo.”

“hey, you were taking so long to reply that i had seek someone else out. he just happened to be her.”

mingyu ignores that and tells you to hurry up, “i need your help choosing something for myself.”

“ugh, alright, give me five.”

in the end, you decided you’d get both the classic black dress and the slip dress, you needed more dresses in general. wouldn’t hurt to have more. when you’re done checking out, you find mingyu in conversation with kazuha who’s smiling with a shopping bag in her hands.

“zuha, you get anything?” you ask. she nods eagerly, “yeah! i got this pink dress that jeonghan helped me find just now. it’s really pretty, i’ll show you later in the room.”

you falter a little at that, glancing at mingyu who’d told you he went to the washroom. ignoring the growing unsettling gut feeling, you inform her you’d found something too. “nice, we should have a try-on in the room later.”

“you guys!!” yunjin joins the group, “this is insane. i hit the jackpot and found the sexiest green dress ever.” you laugh, linking arms with her, “you should come over later and try it on with us.”

“ah, the beauty of womanhood,” mingyu grumbles beside you, and you shove him. “you’re not invited, pervert.”

his jaw falls open, “excuse me? what did you just call me?”

you press an index finger into his bicep, “don’t think i didn’t notice you checking my boobs out earlier.” mingyu’s cheek redden at the light-hearted accusation, worsening when jeonghan appears right at the climax of the argument.

“okay, okay, first of all, i wasn’t checking anything out!” he complains, “and-and well, they—”

jeonghan cuts him off, patting his back with an amused smirk, “it’s alright, buddy, it happens to the best of us.” everyone laughs at that, much to mingyu’s chagrin who then becomes pouty for the rest of the walk to the next shop.

“c’mon,” you pull him into the store, “my turn to stare at your tits.”

“god, would you drop it?” he groans as he follows you in. “it won’t happen again.”

you giggle, “it’s okay with me, gyu, because that just means the girls look good.”

he groans again, “i really don’t need to be a part of this.” he wanders off into the store, embarrassed. you let him go, looking at clothes for him separately. turns out shopping for mingyu is harder than the concept of it sounds. it doesn’t help that he’s an expert at criticizing the small detail in every item you choose for him. half an hour later, you’re tired of him.

as if on cue, kazuha calls you to tell you to come over to an asian restaurant nearby to grab lunch. you thank the lords as you pull mingyu away, “there’s nothing here for me anyway,” he grumbles as you meet up with the rest.

entering the restaurant, you spot kazuha and jeonghan at a table nearby. yunjin’s still on her way it turns out as you sit across from them, heart in throat for the worst reason possible: you’re jealous. you may be down bad for jeonghan but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to take a hint. trying to keep the thought from completely forming in your head, you make conversation with everyone, wanting to be better than this.

you want to avoid thinking about it so you’re quick to shut jeonghan off. he’s his usual self, joking around with everyone but he picks up when you’re not as receptive as usual. you hope he just thinks nothing of it, but you know that’s not possible when he approaches you after lunch as everyone else is washing up in the bathroom.

you’re outside alone, waiting, when he slightly pushes your shoulder to draw your attention. you gasp lightly. “jeonghan?”

“can i talk to you for a sec?”

you frown, “yeah, you’re talking to me right now.”

“come on, y/n, don’t be cold. let’s go for a walk.”

“but, the others—”

“i let mingyu know we’ll be back in a few.”

out of excuses, you silently follow jeonghan’s stride through the busy street. he makes conversation really well, easing you up in no time as he distracts you from what was on your mind. it’s illegal how smoothly he then proceeds to drop the act.

you’re laughing about what he’d said about hoshi’s drinking habits just now, when he suddenly goes serious, “i think i like kazuha.”

you freeze up at that, fighting the frown that itches closer, looking at him like you didn’t hear him. heart’s out of control right now, but at least you were already expecting this outcome. “huh?”

“sorry, i just thought you should know. i’m really into her and i was planning to ask her out sometime this week.”

you would love to pass away right now. immediately, you think you hate jeonghan for doing this to you. it’s clear from his behavior that he knows you like him and that he’s apologizing— he’s rejecting you before you have a chance to confess. he likes kazuha. he’s going to ask her out. you should know that.

you sputter awkwardly, “that’s great! good for you, jeonghan. and um, you really didn’t have to tell me. i’m sure kazuha would love to be with you.”

you never want to speak a word to anyone ever again and you're sweating ever so profusely, so you speed up a little, “and we should get going, no?”

sensing your mood, jeonghan follows along but says, “i’m sorry, y/n. i- i know you…”

you don’t let him finish because it would genuinely kill you to hear him say he knows you like him. “you don’t have to be sorry.” with that, you essentially leave your body. you move fast enough to reach the car, wordlessly getting into the passenger seat and yunjin somehow knows better than to fight you.

the car ride back is filled with music. not much chatter. you realize it’s partly your fault and silently dread being back in the room with kazuha, but to your relief, when you reach she doesn’t bring anything up. you’re too tired to do a try-on like you promised and when mingyu asks if you want to come over to his place, you tell him you’re feeling sleepy. and for once, you actually sleep after telling him that.

sleep is not as much of a comfort as you’d hope for it to be: less of an escape, more jeonghan-themed content. something about heartbreak and living the rest of your life, lovelessly.

—

the next week starts off hectic and you’re thankful for it this once. you could use the chaos of organizing an event to take your mind off things. a small part of you wonders if jeonghan was being merciful by letting you down and timing it so well. knowing him, that doesn’t seem so impossible.

you feel better than you’d imagined you would. you cried like once since the rejection. you didn’t need to worry much at this point, having realizing that it was less important that you’d made it out to be. mingyu, on the other hand, doesn’t give up his worrying, especially when he doesn’t see you until three days into the week. and that, too, because he gave up and thought it would be a good idea to invade your room, at one in the night.

his knocking wakes you up fairly quickly, since you’d only put your phone down a few minutes ago. you rush to the door, afraid of waking kazuha up. “what the fuck, mingyu?” you ask at the sight of him.

“what the fuck yourself! stop ignoring my messages maybe?”

you groan, stepping outside your room, feeling the cold air hit you in your night clothes. “why’d you have to confront me so late at night? can we do this tomorrow? when i’m coherent and not half-naked?”

mingyu falter as if he just realized the time, noticing your tank top and shorts. “i don’t care. i’ll give you my jacket but we’re doing this right here and right now.”

you sigh, knowing this was coming. “forget it, keep your jacket. i’ll go change and be right back.”

mingyu grabs your arm when you try to go back inside, “how do i know you’re not just gonna leave me here to die?”

“dude, my room’s right here. you can come watch me change if you fucking want.”

he lets you go, flustered when you offer and you laugh as you rush back in. in the darkness, kazuha’s voice startles you, “y/n? is everything okay? are you being abducted?”

“oh god, zuha, you scared me. and no, it’s just stupid little mingyu who wants to have a talk. i’ll settle this. go back to sleep.”

she groans, “god, you guys are just like my parents sometimes.”

you laugh at that as you slip into a hoodie and exchange your shorts for pajamas. when you return, mingyu’s sitting at the stairs in front of your room and you hit him in the back.

“ouch! fuck you!” he stands up with a glare, “also i heard what you said about me. why am i stupid and little? can you just choose one insult?"

“let’s go down if we’re gonna argue. zuha can hear us, too. and did you hear what she said after that?” when he seems clueless, you go on, “she said we remind her of her parents sometimes.”

he coughs, “her parents?? what are we, married?”

you roll your eyes, “married and sick of each other, apparently.”

“being zuha’s parents doesn’t sound so bad honestly. she’d be the easiest child to raise.”

“i feel like zuha would raise you if you were her father,” you laugh, “me too, probably.”

“who’d be the father then?”

your smile falls when an answer occurs to you, you mumble, “jeonghan,” sitting at a bench outside your dorm. mingyu joins you, equally solemn now.

“did something happen between you two?”

“yeah. he rejected me when we went shopping that day.”

mingyu’s eyes widen, “what? you confessed?”

you shake your head, a strained smile, “he already knew. i guess i was obvious, but it’s still driving me insane that he rejected me without even giving me a chance to confess.”

“i can’t believe he did that. that’s conceited as fuck.”

“conceited or impressive, i can’t decide. but he told me likes kazuha and that he’s sorry. i genuinely wanted to die when he said that. he was cool about breaking my heart, too. lowkey fell a little harder for him.” you laugh at your own joke, but mingyu looks unhappy, jaw clenched like he’d tasted something bitter.

you hit his arm, “it’s not a big deal, dude. i was thinking about it the past few days and i realized i barely knew the guy. i just knew what he told me over the last year.”

after a pause, “and he’s one beautiful man, so there was that.” you smile a little.

“but he didn’t have to do it like that. he could just stop flirting with you, you know, or wait for you to come around and confess like a normal person,” mingyu says, “he’s such a little jerk.”

“hey, it’s okay, a little flirting didn’t hurt anyone.”

“yeah but he was leading you on, leaving you in ambiguity by doing that. he should’ve been flirting with kazuha, not you.”

“okay, now that’s starting to hurt,” you whine, pressing your forehead against his shoulder, “but i can’t really blame him, no? kazuha’s so precious.”

“don’t be like that, y/n.”

“what? be like what?” you look up, “didn’t you also used to be into kazuha?”

mingyu bites his lip when you bring his years-old crush up, “when will you forget about that? that was so long ago and it was barely serious. she’s too nice to be my type.” (what does that even mean? you wonder but don't have the time to ask.)

“sure, you didn’t want to change residence halls to be closer to her?”

“alright, how many times do i tell you that i did that because of you? why do you never believe me?”

“it just makes more sense the other way,” you mumble, suddenly feeling teary-eyed and hating that you were feeling teary-eyed, which only intensified the teariness in your eyes. “god, this is stupid.”

mingyu’s arm is around in no time when he notices you curling up, your lip tucked between your lips in anticipation, “hey, hey, c'mon, i thought you said it wasn't a big deal. so how come you're crying?"

“because! i feel lame. and because kazuha’s perfect, by the way. she’d probably cry too if she knew i was crying.”

he pulls you closer, “you’re not lame, y/n. you think i’d keep you around so long if i didn’t think you were insanely cool?”

you breathe through your tears, “you just keep me around because i’m insane?”

“insanely cool! open your ears, idiot.”

“you just called me an idiot. idiots are pretty lame.”

he sighs when he feels his tshirt get damper, your body so weak under his hold. he pats your hair softly, “sorry, that’s not what i meant. but seriously, y/n, you know i’m bad at saying this stuff but i seriously cannot stress enough how highly i think of you.” his hand moves to rub your back, “and you’re so much more than perfect, you know? like sometimes you don’t do a paper till three hours before and still get an A. and then, you come up with comebacks to my arguments in your own unique ways, and trust me, nobody can argue with me like you do.”

you pull away, “all right, now you’re embarrassing me. why do i sound like a bossy nerd or something?”

“you can be that at times. hey, but you forgot the part where you’re hot as shit. and also pretty.”

“i feel like that last part was an afterthought, mingyu,” you bite back a laugh, “you really only keep me around for my tits, don’t you?”

“dude, can you let me wholesome for once? i’m trying to console you, so would you stop playing devil’s advocate?”

“sorry, i’m just,” you hesitate with a heavy sigh and then, you blurt out, "i’m scared i’ll never fall in love. i’ll never find it at all.”

“now that’s some stupid thoughts you’re having,” mingyu shakes you by the shoulders, “you’ve just been blinded by your crush on jeonghan for so long that you haven’t explored anyone else at all.”

“are you volunteering to be my crush right now?” you ask, jokingly.

mingyu’s smirk catches you off-guard, “what if i am? it wouldn’t be the worst thing if i was your boyfriend.”

you feel yourself heating up a little for some reason, head in a daze from his earlier shower of compliments and now this. so instead of trying to make sense of it all, you press yourself into him in a hug. “yeah, it wouldn’t.”

—

“hoshi, you little shit!” you throw yourself around the guy when you spot him on the night of the flea market, the product of a long and actually insane week. he laughs when he realizes it’s you, pulling you into a hug, “bro, y/n, why is this my first time seeing in you in literal years?”

“i don’t know, i just kinda see you walking around sometimes. maybe if you actually showed up to econ class, i’d see you more.”

hoshi flinches, “you can’t be bringing econ up right now. that class is kicking my ass. i can’t keep showing up to that kind of humiliation.”

the two of you catch up at last, as people swarm around the different stalls set up along the college street. you were relieved after having finished this damn event. cheers to sleep, right?

hoshi tells you all about his new situationship with a guy in another class and how he’s regretting inviting him to the party tomorrow night. “why? believe it or not, people are more fun when drunk.”

hoshi rolls his eyes, “yeah, well, i couldn’t get any more fun. so instead i become incontrollable. an absolute animal.”

“right, i remember that. so you’re scared you’re gonna drive him off? i wouldn’t worry honestly. and if you want, i can keep you in check.”

he narrows his eyes in distrust, “you? you’re not much better than me drunk, okay? i feel bad for mingyu who’s gonna have to take care of you the whole time.”

you gasp, “wow, you’re taking mingyu’s side now? over mine? i thought we had something special.”

“you thought wrong,” comes mingyu out of nowhere, slinging his arm around hoshi’s shoulders.

“why are you here suddenly?” hoshi looks between the two of you, “i couldn’t not come to an event my lovely y/n herself planned, could i?”

hoshi laughs, “nice to see you two as jolly as ever. but also i must take your leave. i gotta go grab dinner soon.”

“hey, why don’t you come with us? we were gonna check out the new outlet the college opened.”

“oh, i would love to but i have plans with someone already.”

you nod your head in realization, “right of course, have fun. not too much, though. leave some for tomorrow.” he leaves with a full-toothed smile and you face mingyu.

he playfully pinches your cheek, “you confront him about missing us yet?”

you raise a shoulder in response, and as the flea market starts to fizzle out thanks to the darkening sky, your stomach grumbles. “let’s eat, please.”

ever since that night— you don’t want to say anything had changed between you and mingyu because your friendship had been long enough that even the slightest shift in dynamics would harmoniously just become the new status quo; the two of you had been through a lot together. but ever since that night, you’d been fooling around with him more, if that was possible.

it was along the lines of: less banter, more flirting? although one might argue that the former was just a derivative of the other. but semantics aside, this is what you know to be true: friends flirt with each other all the damn time.

that’s what you’re telling yourself when mingyu asks you to feed him some of the fried rice you’d gotten on your plate. and it was true: you’re almost a 100% certain that you’d flirted with every friend of yours, and that was just how it worked.

but intimacy came differently to everyone and mingyu’s just manifested in clinginess. he was pressed to your side for the entirety of dinner, and you couldn’t complain about the proximity. it was welcome, even, this form of friendship.

“you’re thinking too hard.” mingyu’s voice pulls you out of your little reflection session. “what’re you even thinking about? you should be all burnt out from all the work you did this past week.”

“i am,” you affirm, “but some things just don’t let up.”

he chuckles, patting your head affectionately as if to persuade your thoughts to let up for a while. it doesn’t help really, only gravitating the direction of the said thoughts toward kim mingyu even more.

“maybe repetition isn’t as bad as i always make it out to be,” you say, chin propped up against your fist on the table. mingyu had chosen a corner table of the newly opened eatery, next to a low window that glowed behind you in the remains of sunset as he shifted to completely face you. the sun had finally set. again.

“you’re right. routine is good for people.”

“but it doesn’t have to stay the same forever, you know?”

“hm?” mingyu can’t help but feel like you’re edging toward some underlying topic. you were like this since he could remember: you’d start off with some abstract and vaguely relevant concept (that had no doubt been plaguing you for a long time) and slowly circle around till he caught onto what you meant. you love playing games with him.

“repetition doesn't have to be redundant? i think there's something more subtle about it.”

he doesn’t know where you’re going with this, “but repetition is literally the same thing over and over?”

“yeah, but the ‘same thing’ itself can evolve,” your fingers knock against his, “i don’t know, i was just thinking about… us.”

“us? i guess we would be a good example of repetition.”

your gaze falls from his to find your hand instead, your fingers wrapping around his wrist until you’ve forced his palm open. his hand in your lap upside down, you pull at the fingers, “yeah, but we’ve changed a lot. for one, we fight a lot less. sometimes when i’m going to tell you a thought, you understand mid-sentence what i mean.”

“yeah, well, that’s what we get for knowing each that long. but really, what’s this about, y/n?” he captures your hand in his expertly, pulling your attention back to his face.

“do you ever think we should be more?”

mingyu breathes a laugh at that, a shiver running down his spine when he spots the solemn look on your face. and then, his smile turns grave. “y/n, we’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”

“have we? every time i’m the one who brings it up and you kinda just shrug it off. no, don’t even try to argue with me. you shrug the serious stuff off. always.”

it’s true, mingyu admits in defeat, mind racing as he considers why you’re bringing this up now. the answer is easy: you were finally available. but he doesn’t say it out loud, like he never does. you’d confronted him about the state of your friendship before, unafraid to wonder out loud what it would be like if you started dating. you’ve received all forms of shut-downs from mingyu before so you figured you were the only one in an ambiguous place about your feelings for him.

if someone was to ask if you like mingyu, you’d probably say yes, but it’s more than that. you know better than to blindly fall for him. witnessing him in his relationships before, you know he can be ruthlessly cold to his partner once he’s out of love. you practice romantic love for mingyu: carefully because too much would definitely be dangerous.

“i have my reasons, y/n.” there it is. the strict mingyu. the rigidity in setting his boundaries was something you admired and aspired for when he exhibited it in the past. right now, you want to punch him.

you’re without a filter with him so it’s unfair when he treats you like this. you let him know as much: “i want to punch you right now. i’ve hidden nothing from you, and yet, there’s this wall you keep yourself behind. is this really one-sided?”

mingyu doesn’t know what to do with you right now, “y/n, why are you—”

“no, because it's not like i can't take a hint. so one minute you're flirting with me and then, you push me away like right now,” you point to his estranged fingers, “but then you act like nothing happened and go right back to being all intimate and touchy.”

“i just…” mingyu lets out an exasperated sigh, “i just don’t see the reason for labels. why do we have force ourselves into a restriction like that? we’ve always been above conforming.”

it’s your turn to sigh heavy enough your head hits the wall behind you. wasn’t this just his way of friend-zoning you back into silence? you’ve always been too embarrassed to push him this far because you don’t mean to hurt him. but you feel as though you’ve hurt yourself long enough now.

“so why’d you say that the other night? that it would be nice if you were my boyfriend?”

this leaves him speechless for a few beats and you continue, “that was just because i was heartbroken from jeonghan? you’re playing prince charming for me so i can go back to being your trusty little best friend?”

“y/n, you know that’s not true. i’m not playing anything in your life. i’m just being myself.”

you scoff, “you really are so fucking—”

“why are we actually fighting right now?” mingyu asks through an incredulous laugh, “this is actually so petty, dude, let’s stop. you know i love you, right?”

mingyu’s last resort makes its presence: a non-committal i love you. because at the end of the day, you’re still best friends. what was a little ‘i love you’ in today’s economy? nothing. especially when you’d hear him throw the phrase around all the time.

you stand up in defeat, “fine, let’s stop. you win.” you gesture for him to move to the side and he does so reluctantly when you glare at him like you’re genuinely mad. (you are.)

he follows you out the door, catching your elbow to slow you down. “don’t be like this. i know you’re mad at me.”

“i’m not mad. i'm tired and i just want to go back to my room,” you seethe, walking faster than him. he grabs hold of your shoulder turning you around.

“if you’re gonna storm off, at least go the right way.” you huff softly and let him steer you the right way to your dorm, hands still on you. you spend the way to the front of your room silently, waiting for mingyu to say something but he just does what he does best: take care of you.

as you reach the door of your room, he pauses, apologetic smile on display. “listen, let’s talk more tomorrow? get some sleep.” he reaches for your hair, tenderly running his fingers through the locks. there it is: the soft mingyu, his eyes wide as he stares you down for signs of stress.

his warm arm pressed againsts yours, you realize you don’t want him to just leave. you know the drill: tomorrow morning, he’ll text you to meet for lunch and everything will go back to being unsaid. maybe he’ll bring along seungcheol so you don’t bring anything up again. either way, it’ll be so natural you’ll think nothing ever happened. but you want something to happen.

so your hand settles around his bicep to hold on and partly to keep him in place. you lean in, “let me do one last thing and if you want to stop, i’m never bringing this up again. i promise.”

you don’t give mingyu a moment to react to your words and instead raise yourself up to his level, other hand on his chest, and press your lips to his. you kiss mingyu after the thirteen years that you’ve known him and the ten that you’ve wanted to. you counted the years just as you count the seconds that it takes for him to come to his senses and pull himself away.

he looks less upset than you imagined: more dazed. like he can’t believe what you’ve done. he looks at you with his lips parted and you have to tear your gaze apart, lest you should tear yourself apart with longing.

“y/n, i…” he looks away and that’s enough evidence you need. you step away from him, your easy smile back in its place, not before you pat his arm as it falls from you.

“it's okay. i understand. let’s be friends, mingyu,” you declare suddenly, catching him off-guard. you'd pulled all the stops and if he genuinely was uncomfortable with pushing the line between platonic and romantic, you would respect that.

he begins to say something but you don’t want to hear him speak, at least not right now when the sound of blood rushing to your head is the loudest it's ever been, and you certainly don’t want to falter again. you’ve decided. “good night."

—

mingyu should feel relieved. he really should be happy that you’re back to normal around him, friendly and playful like you’ve always been. he should count his blessings that you’ve accepted the status of your relationship with him as it is. but as he falls asleep that night, all that comes to his mind is the smile you’d sported as you asked to be friends.

it was all wrong: your lips against his, that was something of his dreams, not a reality he has to be escaping from. it replays in his head, your scent that he’d caught a whiff of now and then, whenever you’d wrap your arms around him. the heat of your skin he’d rationalize as the comforting presence of a friend for days later.

he’ll soon come to know how insanely stupid he’s being right now but until you knock some sense into him, he simply plays along with a sting he hides pretty well. he should, he’s been doing it for years now.

it’s the night of hoshi’s party already and he’s walking over to the location of the pregame, alone because according to a text fifteen minutes ago, you’re still not ready. you’d invited yunjin and some other friends to your and kazuha’s abode to apparently make the process easier, but if mingyu knows anything about the group, you’ve probably spent more time selecting the right song to play than get ready.

the door to dino and hoshi’s shared residence is already open as he strolls in, finding a group already on the floor, taking shots. he makes eye contact with jeonghan who beckons him closer and mingyu takes a seat next to him.

space is scarce so mingyu finds his arm pressed uncomfortably close to jeonghan’s, who oohs at mingyu’s fit, “ooh, you look positively sexy.”

mingyu grimaces, “do you have to put it like that?” he does look … positively sexy, mingyu admits, in the navy blue shirt he wore but— and here’s the punchline— with the buttons undone all the way to right above his navel.

“where’s y/n, by the way?” jeonghan asks, an eye at the entrance as he slides a shot glass toward mingyu. the question irks mingyu for obvious reasons and he keeps him waiting for a minute, waiting to down the liquid in glass (vodka unfortunately for his throat) to answer him. “um, she’s still getting ready. any minute now.”

“ha, that means she’ll be another ten. that’s a shame, i was hoping to pour her first shot.” jeonghan shrugs resentfully.

maybe the alcohol’s working faster since it’s been a while for mingyu, but his mouth runs faster than his head, “why’d you care? i thought you asked kazuha out a while ago.”

jeonghan raises a brow at that, “hmm. i did. but things did not work out so well. what with kazuha feeling guilty about y/n and… well, i also…”

“feel guilty?” mingyu asks, voice strained. he’s annoyed at having to listen to jeonghan’s side of the story. he could not care less about humanizing him and whatnot. he’s watched you suffer for far too long to be empathetic right now.

“yeah. and i thought i might like y/n, too, after all.” jeonghan says it so casually as if discussing his performance in a particularly challenging college course, not his feelings for a person who he’d recently rejected.

the word might pierces mingyu’s ears. the uncertainty behind it is in such stark contrast to his own… feelings toward you that he genuinely feels his breath heat up.

or maybe that’s just jeonghan when he leans over to refill his glass. “drink up, buddy.” mingyu’s just about ready to make a scene right now, shoving jeonghan’s hand off his back but suddenly jeonghan’s standing up, making his way to—

you. you’re here.

almost as soon as he catches sight of you, he looks away, pretending to give the vodka in his hand all the attention in the world, as he puts his lips to it and empties it. head is now light. that’s probably enough for now, he decides as he puts his glass down.

when he looks back up, you’re at the kitchen counter with yunjin and kazuha.. and jeonghan, who’s grinning as he hands out the bottles of fireball to the group, no doubt marketing it so convincingly that you’d think you came up with the idea yourself.

mingyu shoots to his feet, regretting it when his vision darkens but he pushes past, eyes focused on your figure— god, he forgot how hot you look in that dress. he tries to keep his thoughts in check as he approaches you, but it doesn’t help that your makeup’s even more meticulous than usual, eyes glittering and lips delightfully glossy.

he breaks into the space between you and jeonghan, arm against yours, catching your attention.

“my guy!!” you exclaim when you see him and then your eyes trail down to his chest and then back up to his face where his hair sits parted with the help of some gel. “you look like a slut. i love it.”

mingyu laughs, subjecting you to a similar once-over, “you’re one to talk.” your hair’s back in a bun of sorts, a rare occurrence because you seem to prefer have it around your face. he can’t help but pause at your exposed collarbones, the gold shadow you applied there earlier doing wonders to his already dazed headspace.

“is it already that part of the night where mingyu starts hitting on everyone?” yunjin complains, reserving the alternate version of her question (something along the lines of how impolitely he’d been eye-fucking you in front of everyone) for some other time as she nudges you to open the fireball in your hands.

you do so, looking at jeonghan who offers one to mingyu, which he refuses as he leans against the counter, hand silently at your back just in case. “you’re not drinking?” you ask, quietly enough only for the two of you, just in case he wasn’t comfortable sharing.

“nah, i just had two shots of vodka back there. trying not to mix for the sake of me tomorrow,” he mutters, patting your back encouragingly, “but let me know if you need help finishing that.”

jeonghan eyes mingyu on the side as the trio clink their bottles together and get to downing them. later, as things start picking up and more people make their way into the party, mingyu finds your arm. “do you want me to stay close by?” he frames the question in a way that you have an out, because he can tell that you’re still unhappy with him.

but you’re tipsy when your hand interlocks into his, “only if you’re going to dance like you mean it.”

the night goes better than you expect it to, especially since mingyu’s let loose for once. or perhaps… he’s always this carefree when drunk, palms kneading at your waist, keeping you close to his chest, which you try your best to not get too used to touching. he sure knows how to keep you on your toes (sometimes literally) even when wasted because you’re trying not to get too close. for you own sake.

that is until hoshi shows up beside you two, pulling you apart as he introduces you to a friend.. or a partner? you can’t hear in this state and just as you try to lean in closer to hear what he’s saying, you feel a presence at your shoulder, fingers poking you.

you turn to find jeonghan behind you, sloppy smile on his face as he screams something at you. you frown, asking him to repeat himself, hand on his bicep to steady yourself against the movement of the party.

“need to talk to you about something!” his words come at you, clearer. “right now?” you shout back, “what the fuck is it?” your body doesn’t want to stop moving so you groove against his side, and momentarily catching a glimpse mingyu’s heavy gaze on you. you almost completely stop then but jeonghan’s pulling you away, after him to a relatively emptier zone of the house.

you’re breathless, you realize, now that the spell of the music’s been broken. you rest against the damp wall behind you, uncaring as you look around for a liquid to quench your thirst. cunning as ever, jeonghan’s already handing you a plastic cup with a transparent liquid.

you narrow your eyes at him despite how wasted you are. “what’s this?”

he laughs, “i’m glad you’re vigilant as ever. this is water. cold. drink up.”

you comply, your throat throbbing ever so lesser after you’re done and you sigh in relief. “you might have broken my heart but you’re still an angel, jeonghan.”

“ahhh,” he exclaims joining your side against the wall. you frown when you take note of his fingers clasped together, almost fidgeting. yoon jeonghan, fidgety? that’s a first for you.

“actually, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about…”

when mingyu looks away from hoshi and his company to see if you were listening and when he finds out that you’re in fact in jeonghan’s embrace, he’s suddenly sober. and when your eyes find his for a moment, something in them changes and he calls out your name like a warning. but then jeonghan’s already leading you elsewhere.

mingyu wants to follow after you immediately but he realizes hoshi’s still talking to him. “hoshi, bro, can i find you in a while? i gotta make sure y/n’s okay.”

but hoshi stops him in his tracks, hand on his chest, “wait. please tell me you told her…?” he trails off uncertainly as mingyu catches on what he’s saying.

“i haven’t,” he admits, eyes still searching the crowd for you, “but i think it’s time that i do. only so much i can take.”

“that’s the spirit, man! okay, now go kiss y/n for me.” hoshi pushes mingyu with a start, not before the the latter shoots the man a glare and takes off in his search for you.

you’re still in that corner with jeonghan, who’s done narrating the past week’s revelations to you, all about his failed attempts with kazuha and his slow understanding of his real feelings about you. you’re far more unaffected that either of you was expecting, arms crossing in thought.

but then you say, “well, that’s fucking stupid. because i’ve realized i wasn’t as down bad for you as i once thought i was.” jeonghan’s smile falls a little with a disappointed sigh. “but,” you continue, “you know what i’m still curious about?”

when your hand creeps up jeonghan’s shoulder, he thinks he knows where you’re going with this. “i’ve wanted know if you’re really as good at kissing as everyone makes you out to be.” jeonghan’s already moving closer to you, enveloping your face in his hands, and his devilish grin’s spills out as his lips find your ear. “let’s find out?”

and that’s how mingyu finds you wrapped around jeonghan, making out like this was your last day living. and for a moment, he considers giving up and letting you have this. he even stops in his tracks in the crowd, his thoughts so easily drowned out by the music if he just lets go.

but his mind’s reeling when the sight of you kissing someone else just pushes him back a day ago when you were leaning up into him, soft breaths risking your lips against his and the way your body pressed into his just right. his feet move without a thought, then, shouldering through the bodies around the two in the corner.

you’re just pulling away from jeonghan to start to say something about how that wasn’t too bad when his body is lifted away from yours with an unannounced jerk. you gasp and then once again when mingyu’s face comes floating in front of yours.

“mingyu,” you breathe, unsteady from the series of events this past minute, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“what the fuck are you doing?!” he screams in your face, hands on both arms to keep you from moving. jeonghan’s walking to your side and you want to say something to apologize but you’re far too infuriated with the man in front of you to think.

“i don’t know! trying to get laid? finding happiness? love?!” you scream back with as much force. you call out jeonghan’s name, “i’m sorry. mingyu’s too drunk to—”

“jeonghan,” warns mingyu when the guy tries to break you free from his embrace, “can i have a minute with y/n.” it isn't a question.

jeonghan has the nerve to say, “maybe not. i wouldn’t leave you alone with her in this state.”

“oh, she’ll be just fine,” he replies and jeonghan simply looks at you for confirmation. but you’re still looking at mingyu, starting to tear up, head throbbing all at once. you stop fighting against his grip and mumble in defeat, “whatever.”

“if you’re going to lecture me about being bad, i don’t really want to hear it.” you’re back next to the kitchen counters with mingyu beside you. slowly, you sit yourself up on the surface, feeling exhausted. “i’ve heard it before.”

“no, that’s not what i’m doing. i just want you to stop and think clearly—”

you groan when you hear the beginnings of a typical you’ll regret this in the morning type talk, you slide off the counter and to your delight, you run into a guy holding up a can of beer for the taking. you’re quick to jump at it, grabbing it up from him and pulling the tab of the can open. just as you put the beer to your lips, ready to chug it, you feel it being pulled away, the next few moments occuring before you can comprehend anything.

suddenly you’re sitting back on the counter and your dress rides up when you feel mingyu push himself in between your legs. at first, you see his face close on yours and then the taste of beer meets your throat. no, it’s not just beer— it’s mingyu. his tongue spills onto yours, beer mixing with saliva and when you try to pull away, his hand at your neck tightens. you sit up straight and you feel his watch digging into your spine.

your head spins when you can finally breathe, inhaling only to cough out. heart in your throat, you look at mingyu in disbelief, “what the fuck!” but he’s already taking another sip of the beer and some of it slides down your throat into your dress, when his mouth finds yours again.

you’re weak in his arms, and the heat between your legs is only so rational. so you find yourself giving in and kissing him back when the liquid runs out, nails finding his scalp, earning you a deep groan that vibrates against your chest. that’s when he pulls away again, eyes finally meeting yours with an unprecedented intensity.

he leans in again, wet kiss against your cheek, followed by a grunted whisper of, “i love you so fucking much, y/n. it’s so hard to watch you run around with other men.”

you want to think you’re hearing things but mingyu doesn’t let you, another kiss right in the nape of your neck that sends shudders down your back. “i want to be yours so fucking bad. want to spoil you like you deserve.”

you swallow against the moan that rises in your throat, to pull mingyu’s face back to your eye-level, “then why aren’t you mine? why’d you push me away?” your voice breaks, betraying the pretense of indifference you try to prop up. his eyes soften, fingers brushing against your forehead.

his lips quiver and he sighs defeatedly. it’s a miracle you can hear him with all that noise around you. but you hear him clear as day against your hair when he finally says, “i’m scared. of loving you too much, of being too much. and i’m scared of losing you.”

mingyu’s imagined telling you these exact words before and how you’d react to them infinite times before but when you giggle into his collarbone, he pulls away with a blank look. your forehead is against his all over again and for the second time night you say, “that’s fucking stupid! if you were going to lose me, it would’ve happened a while ago.”

of all the things he’d imagine you saying in response, this was the simplest option, so unlike your usual overthinking self. maybe it’s the alcohol and adrenaline in your system speaking but mingyu somehow feels comforted, because maybe it really is that simple. it would’ve happened if it was going to. or maybe mingyu’s too drunk to make sense of it all right now.

so his lips are moving against yours once again, without warning, your breath all his when his arms tighten once against around you. you’re laugh grounds him enough to break away. you open your mouth to complain about the distance when mingyu’s back against your skin.

“shut the fuck up,” he groans, the command making you hotter than you’d like to admit. your legs close around his ass, pulling him closer and his hand slips across your boobs. the friction of his palm against the tight fabric of your dress makes you let out an undignified moan into mingyu.

that’s when he knows he needs to take you to somewhere more private for reasons more than one. you’re too lightheaded to move yourself so mingyu’s carrying out the house without a word anyone you two came with. it’s only when the cold air hits you that you realize you’re outside.

you struggle against mingyu until you're back on your feet and stop. “where are we going? i’m— do i know you, mister guy?” for a second, mingyu’s heart sinks when he wonders if you thought you were just making out with a stranger. then, you say, “i need to go back and find mingyu. gotta kiss him.”

ignoring the blush that colors his face, he grabs hold of your elbow, “i am mingyu, idiot. and we’re going to my room.” you shake your head to clear your vision, eyes widening when you recognize him. your hand finds his face with a light laugh, “ah! it’s my big guy.” the name doesn’t help mingyu’s condition at all, so he’s pulling you after him faster than before.

back at the party, kazuha starts panic when she realizes she’s lost hold of you, unable to locate you anywhere within the party. she tugs at yunjin’s sleeve who looks over in concern, “what happened to y/n? i can’t find her anywhere.” yunjin laughs at that, covering her mouth with her hand. “don’t worry about her. i saw her and mingyu leave together earlier. she’s probably in heaven by now, if i’m right.”

“hmm?” kazuha pauses as a thought pops up into her head, “wait… did they…?” yunjin grins knowingly, “yup. it really was high time they fucked.” the former lets out a satisfied giggle, “i know. they were so obvious without even being together. i was getting tired.”

“you were getting tired?!” you gasp at mingyu later in the night, panting against his pillow. you’re on your back and he throws you a tshirt of his to sleep in now that your dress is… demolished. you look at it sadly out of the corner of your eye. “i really liked that dress,” you whine, as he picks the remains of it up with a somewhat smug grin, “planned to wear it out again.”

“i couldn’t risk that. you looked too good in it,” he chuckles to himself as he jumps into bed with you. you sit up, feigning anger as you slip the cotton over your head, warming up when the smell of mingyu greets you. “i don’t know if i could resist seeing your tits out like that.”

you hit his chest hard with a lighthearted scoff, “i knew it! you’re such a pervert. not just a pervert, you’re also a brute.” you groan as you rub your thighs together gingerly. mingyu props himself up, pulling you down into a hug, rubbing your back. “sorry, does it hurt a lot?”

“it’ll hurt more in the morning,” you relax in his arms, pressing a loving kiss into his hair, “should’ve known you went so rough. asshole.” you giggle when he pulls away in disbelief at the last insult.

“how could you—!” you roll away from him, laughing. he shifts closer, caging you against the wall behind you, “hey, you can’t say stuff like fuck i knew you’d have a big dick and then expect me to go all vanilla! do you know what that does to a guy?”

you shriek in embarrassment, “don’t bring that up now!” your ears redden when mingyu forces you by the chin to look up at him. “besides, where do you think the nicknames like big gyu and big guy came from?”

mingyu’s jaw falls open at the revelation and you break out into a fit of laughter at his mindblown expression. “how- how long have you been thinking about my di-”

you hit him to stop him, “ever since you kept pushing me away,” you run a hand down his side, sly grin on your swollen lips, “and i had to come up with something if i wanted to get myself off alone.”

with an exasperated groan, he falls against you, suffocating you as his body goes limp above yours. you let out a gasp when you feel him hardening against your leg and he speaks into your neck, “you’re seriously telling me i’ve been missing out on taking you like this for… for how long now?”

you kiss his cheek, hand slipping down his boxers with a soft exhale, “a while. and if you hadn’t come to your senses today… well, i’d all but given up on you today. when jeonghan kissed me, i was just going to—”

suddenly your breath escapes you, mingyu’s hand around your throat and his lips on yours with a loud grunt. he stops your hand in its movements, “please tell me you’re not talking about jeonghan while— fuck!” he gasps when you bite his lower lip to protest his hand on yours. his hand gives way and you’re palming the tent in his boxers again, pushing him down against the bed, so thankful he doesn’t have a rooommate in times like this.

you place a kiss at the corner of his lips and trail down his chest, shirt long gone, before muttering, “forgive me?”

—

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

i really want to write a more wholesome ending but have not the time or energy right now, so i'll be back with a shorter spin-off/ epilogue of sorts about how you and mingyu as a couple work out, how your friends react, some skinship, etc.

anyway, this is my official announcement that i've become a baby carat :] didn't know how much i was missing out on before svt so this is very fun. so far, jeonghan's my favorite little guy, although as is clear from this... mingyu makes me do things. on the roster are: minghao and joshua. hopefully there will be more svt fics in the future. no promises <3 goodbye friends and foes!!

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red-riot-unbreakable-heart · 3 months

Text

A Long, *Hard* Night with Eijiro Kirishima

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Ship: Kirishima x Fem Reader!!!!

Note: Ok my first Smut post - this is explicit so A18+ ONLY!!

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Romance, S*xual Tension, Dating

cw: MDNI!, fem reader, adult Pro-heros, all characters are A20+, blowjob, finger fucking, dirty talk, explicit content, romance

The first time you give Kirishima a blowjob, he asks you to use a condom.

It all starts out hot, heavy and hazy. A late night out with your joint friend group at the bar lead to a few close brushes and stolen glances. You both had been flirting shamelessly with each other for weeks.

You’re chatting with Mina and watching the cute bar tender pour espresso martinis when you feel your phone buzz. You pull the device out of your pocket and see a message from Kirishima flash across the screen – You wanna get out of here?

Instantly your eyes lock across the crowded bar and he hits you with a mischievous grin. There’s a question in his eyes as he nods towards the door. You smile back wickedly, and it’s the only answer he needs.

A half hour later you’re in his bed, running your hands under his shirt and across his toned stomach. Kirishima kisses down your neck and you moan as his hands creep under the hem of your shirt. Before long, you’re both in your underwear and breathing heavy.

You climb off of the pro hero and slide off the bed. He pouts at the loss of contact.

You stand back and drink him in – he’s absolutely gorgeous. His hair has fallen out of its usually spiked-up style and lies flat, dropping almost to his shoulders. The past few years of hero work show in his toned muscle and in the light scars that crisscross his upper chest and arms. His boxers stretch tightly across his toned thighs and you can see his arousal clearly through the thin black fabric. You almost lick your lips as you imagine what he looks like naked. Kirishima is so turned on right now that he can barely stand it. Yet there he lies - sweet faced and smiling at you. He’s eager to please, and very much enjoying the attention your eyes are giving his body. He likes the hungry look in your eyes as you appraise him.

“Come here.” You motion for him to slide to the edge of the bed. He obliges, drawn to you like a moth to flame. As he moves to the end of his bed, you slowly kneel before him. “I’m about to give you the best head of your life.”

You can tell that he loves hearing that – it’s so hot, the way you’re using your commanding pro hero tone on him. You see his dick twitch through the thin fabric of his boxers at the promise of your lips around him.

You grin, running a fingertip down his chest, across the expanse of his muscled stomach, and right to the elastic of his boxers. He shivers at the delicate contact. You move to slip your hand beneath the waistband of his underwear when he lightly grabs your hand to stop you.

“Hey – can we slow down for a minute?” He says sheepishly, looking down at you with soft eyes. You blink, the tension between you suddenly broken.

“Of course.” You say, worrying that you did something to make the unbreakable hero uncomfortable. He holds out a hand and pulls you to your feet, inviting you to sit next to him on the bed so that you’re on even ground.

“What’s up? Do you want to stop?” You ask, concern lacing your voice. You and Kirishima have known each other for a few years as casual friends, but you don’t know much about his dating history. The two of you have never discussed past hookups and now you wonder if he has some sexual trauma that you have unwittingly triggered.

“Oh my God – no! I absolutely want to keep going.” He says sincerely, reaching out to put a large, warm hand on your bare thigh. The contact turns you on so fast you need to squeeze your legs together to keep your libido at bay. Kirishima smirks, and you know your reaction didn’t go unnoticed. “I’ve pictured this night with you for weeks – months, even. I’ve wanted you so bad since you wore that crazy dress at the agency’s winter gala last year.”

You smile, thinking back to the strappy blue number you wore to the party of the year. The glittery high heels. The long, elegant slit up your left leg. You had been an absolute bombshell. But still - it’s shocking to think that Kirishima has burned for you for this long.

“Then did I do something that you didn’t like? Talk to me Eijiro.” The use of his given name takes him a bit by surprise. He can’t quite meet your eyes as he struggles to string an answer together.

“Well – shit this is awkward – I want a blowjob. Of course I want a blowjob from you – you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever met!” His hand, still on your thigh, squeezes pointedly as he says this. “But since it’s our first time together and we really haven’t discussed where we stand on exclusivity and STI tests…I’d really appreciate it if you let me wear a condom while you do it. If you still want to do it, that is.”

You look at him, perplexed. You think that never, in the history of all mankind, has a man so desperate to get his dick sucked asked to wear a condom during the act.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that – I think it’s the most responsible way to move forward until we have time to properly sit down and talk through what this is.” He gestures at the two of you with his free hand. And then it hits you – this is some classic chivalry shit. Kirishima is trying to set a boundary that respects the sexual and physical health of everyone involved. You grin.

“I’ve never done it that way before, but if you help me along I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it in no time.”

Kirishima’s body seems to sag with relief. “I know it’s a little weird…but it’s really important to me. I’ve had some challenges with partners in the past and I-”

You silence him with a kiss. “Eijiro, it’s totally fine. You don’t need to explain. Unless there’s any other boundaries or trauma triggers you want to talk through before we go any further?”

His smile is wide. “I knew you were cool the moment I met you. Nah, that’s it for now. I just ask that you let me know if you’re not into something. We can stop anytime you want.” He gets up and walks across the room to his dresser, popping open the second drawer and reaching inside to produce a bright orange box of flavored condoms.

“The chivalrous hero is always prepared.” You say sarcastically, smiling as he blushes a deep red.

“I’ve got a great handle on my brand – even in the bedroom.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively and the two of you laugh. He cracks open the box and pulls out a string of bright foil condoms, the packaging glints in the low light. “What flavor would you prefer? We’ve got strawberry, banana, grape…oh, shit! I forgot they come in different colors, too.”

“What colors we talking?” You look over curiously.

“Let’s see…” He holds up the packages so he can read in the semi-darkness. “We’ve got red, yellow, purple, and green. It’s your pick!”

“Omg let’s do green…” You cover your mouth as you cackle out “so you can have a…cucumber dick!! Ha!” Kirishima laughs along with you and tears off the green condom package, haphazardly abandoning the rest of the box in his half-opened dresser drawer.

He walks back over to the bed and sits down, handing the shiny package to you. “You’re in control of this next part.” He says softly, and you can see he’s getting hard again underneath his boxers. You feel a spark in the pit of your stomach.

“Oh yeah? Number 12 Pro-Hero Red Riot likes to be taken care of?” You slide off the bed and get back into kneeling position beneath him, your small hands sliding up his muscular thighs and squeezing. He groans as you run your right hand slowly up his clothed length, dragging your finger along the sensitive tip of his cock.

“You’re being so good for me…” You whisper, dipping your fingertips underneath the waistband of his boxers to feel soft skin. You tease him, running your hand along the sensitive “V” of his waist, avoiding his dick. His eyes close and his head drops back. Oh – it seems that Kirishima has a praise kink. You smile at this delicious development, and decide to see how far you can push him.

“You’re getting so hard for me, baby.” You pull your hand out from under his boxers and reach up to slide them smoothly down his toned legs. He whimpers and lifts his ass to help you take off his underwear. His rock hard cock springs out of the garment and comes to rest flush against his taught abs. Unsurprisingly, he’s huge – you absentmindedly lick your lips as you take in his perfect length. He is just as beautiful as you imagined – and his tip is absolutely dripping with anticipation.

You toss his boxers over your shoulder and reach for the flavored condom. You examine the thin square and see a small watermelon emoji printed on the smooth silver packaging. You smirk and look up to see Kirishima staring at you from up on the bed, pupils blown wide with arousal. His left hand is twitching towards his dick, seemingly waiting for permission. You meet his gaze as you bring the package to your mouth and slowly tear the perforated strip back using your bright teeth. “Touch yourself for me, baby.” And he does, grasping his member lightly as he begins to pleasure himself with gentle, languid strokes. He watches you pull out the condom, features taught with anticipation.

“Good boy.” You whisper, and he groans in response. “I’m gonna make you feel sooo good with my mouth, Eijiro.”

He picks up his pace. His cock is so hard you can see it spasm in his hand. “My rock hard hero.” He smiles at the endearment.

After a few moments, you put your hand to his wrist and motion for him to stop. He releases his dick and it springs back to attention against his rippling abdomen. You lean forward and place the bright green condom on his length, taking your time to slowly roll it down all the way to the base of his member. He shudders at the intimate touch, and his eyes widen as you cleanly spit into the palm of your hand. You reach to stroke his dick a few times to make sure the condom’s in place, and realize that the green latex comes pre-lubricated. Your saliva mixes with a thin sheen of liquid, causing your hand to move smoothly across Kirishima’s hard dick.

“You seem to know exactly what you’re doing.” He pants, grinning as you continue to pump his length.

“Well what can I say? I’m a Pro at everything I do.” You mutter before leaning forward to pull his cock into your mouth. He hisses at the unexpected contact as you circle his tip with the edge of your tongue.

“Baby…” He whines out, as you move to drag your tongue up the underside of his dick.

“Wow you’re big.” You whisper, re-tracing up his length again. You look up at him through your lashes. “An impressive dick for an impressive goddamn hero.”

He absolutely loves that, and suddenly he’s scrambling to pull you up into his lap so that you’re straddling him. He kisses you fiercely, eyes closed, one hand twisted in your hair. And you’re kissing him back with just as much fervor – gasping as you feel his hard length press against your wet panties.

“I think we should take these off.” He says between kisses, reaching blindly to push your underwear down. You stand up shakily and stumble as you try to hop out of your practical cotton panties. You strip them off and toss them into a pile with Kirishima’s boxers.

You don’t even have a second to breathe before he pulls you back into his lap and starts sloppily making out with you again. You both groan as his condomed dick slips against your wet pussy. You reach down and reposition his length it so that he’s right against your clit. He grinds slowly against you, making you both see stars.

Kirishima kisses down your jawline and up to your ear to whisper: “I’m not ready to have penetrative sex just yet – is it ok if we just keep going like this?” You nod breathlessly as you roll your hips against his hard dick, already close to orgasm. It’s slippery and hot and he knows exactly what he’s doing as he licks his fingers and reaches between you to massage your swollen clit.

“You’re so gorgeous.” He pants, moving his fingers deftly against you. “I’ve always wanted to see you like this – absolutely undone and naked on top of me.”

“Eijiro…” You whimper as he rolls against you again. The lube of the condom allows his cock to slip comfortably along your folds. “I’m…I’m gonna cum! Is it okay if I cum?” Your face starts to heat up as you feel an orgasm welling up in the pit of your stomach.

“Yes! Yes, please – cum for me baby.” His voice is rough as you feel your body start to shudder and explode. You’re dimly aware of him whispering, “Oh my God, this is the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You ride out your orgasm slowly, gasping at the way his fingers continue to draw out your pleasure. He’s smiling as his fingers and cock slip against you, a wave of heat between the two of you. You laugh as he slows his pace, then removes his hand when you become too sensitive. He envelops you in an embrace, bringing his fingertips up to trace along your back softly. You shiver as you come down from your high, your head swimming with an image of his sharp red eyes clouded over with lust.

“That was...” You turn your head so that your foreheads touch. You kiss him soundly. “That was just…wow. I knew you had to be good with your hands…but that. That was a whole other level of Pro Hero work.” You both laugh, his face is glowing with the praise.

“Hey, anytime.” Kirishima leans forward to kiss you back. “And I mean anytime.”

Your heart leaps at the implication, and your brain jumps through a few hot situations where you’d like to ask Kirishima to drop what he’s doing to pleasure you. One particular fantasy comes to mind, in which you’re locking your office door while Eijiro sits on your desk unbuckling his belt. You shake your head to clear away an image of him fucking you in your office. One hookup at a time, girl! You refocus.

“If it’s alright with you…I’d like to suck your dick properly now.” You plant a wet kiss on his left cheek. You can tell that Eijiro is trying not to seem overeager, but the impatient cock throbbing against your pussy is a dead giveaway.

“I’d really love that, cutie.” He leans forward to catch your mouth in another of his searing kisses. A moment later, you swing your legs off of him and your feet hit the ground shakily. You didn’t realize how much the orgasm had taken out of you as you duck-walk over to his dresser. Wordlessly, you open a drawer and fish out the brightly colored box of condoms.

“Let’s do red this time…for Red Riot.” You find a strawberry flavored condom and quickly tear the foil packaging. You turn to see Eijiro sitting on the bed practically quaking with anticipation. You smirk, legs like jelly as you return to the bed with the fresh condom.

You bend over him and swap out the slippery, stretched green condom for the fresh red one. When you’re done, you give his rock hard member an approving pat. “There – good as new!”

He laughs with you as he sinks back into the bed, ready for you to work your magic. It’s nice to be this comfortable with someone – to be able to joke in between the sex. To be shamelessly naked in another person’s presence. You can’t remember the last time you’ve slept with someone like this – the last time it was this easy.

You spread his legs out and push him the rest of the way into the mattress before kneeling on the ground between muscular thighs.

“Hold on a sec – here, take this.” He reaches behind his head to grab a pillow, which he lobs your way. You smile appreciatively as you tuck the pillow beneath your knees.

“You’re such a gentleman.” You praise, before running your tongue up his length. “Now let’s reward you for being so manly and chivalrous.” It’s almost funny how those words are almost enough to push Eijiro over the edge. His face flushes and you see his hands grip the sheets above you.

“You like it when I praise you, huh? Want me to keep telling you what a good little hero you are?” You lick underneath the tip of his cock, teasing. Eijiro lets out a needy moan. “Such a manly, strong hero. You deserve to be taken care of after working so hard to keep everyone safe.”

And with that, you take his entire length into your mouth. You put on a good show – sloppily bringing your lips down to the base of his cock and running your fingertips along the underside of his balls. You squeeze them experimentally and he groans at the sensation. You begin to bob up and down on his firm member, hollowing out your cheeks with intent to suck the life out of him. He brings a heavy hand up to rest in your hair as you work, smoothing your bangs out of your face as he does so.

You slurp up his dick and can see that he’s getting close. You use your left hand and continue to massage his balls and the base of his cock lightly. You hum softly, and the vibrations of your mouth and throat send absolute shivers up his body. His cock is twitching in your mouth and his balls are all but pulsing in anticipation of his release.

Time for the grand finale - you start to suck on the head of his dick, taking care to stimulate him with some impressive suction before releasing him with a loud “pop” of your lips. He groans at the loss of contact, running his free hand messily through his hair with sexual frustration.

You prop yourself up on your elbows as you take a quick breather. You look at the absolute wreckage of a man laying on the bed before you. His pupils are wide and blissed out and his body is tense as he takes quick and shallow breaths.

You look him straight in the eyes as you let your tongue dart across your wet mouth. You stare him down, a dare mounting in your eyes. You want to drive him completely over the edge, and he knows it. He looks at you hungrily, desperately. “You know…Red Riot has got to be my favorite Pro Hero.”

And with that – he’s gone. Eijiro grabs either side of your face and practically stuffs his dick back into your mouth. You eagerly accept him in, moving your tongue to accommodate his size. Within moments, he’s face fucking you – hands gripping and pulling your hair as he starts to cum in your sweet little mouth.

“Oh my God.” He stutters out, his hips pistoning into you as he rides out his orgasm. His purposeful thrusts draw an unintentional whine of pleasure out of you. The noise makes him smile, and as he finishes his pace begins to slow. Finally, blissed-out and boneless, he slowly pulls his softening dick out of your mouth.

It takes a moment for you to realize that there’s an unexpected advantage of giving a blowjob using a condom – easy cleanup. Eijiro carefully rolls the spent condom off of his member before tying it off and tossing it in a wastepaper basket across the room. He flops blissfully backward onto his bed, butt naked and handsome. He’s covered in a sheen of sweat and looks like he’s absolutely glowing.

He holds his arms out to you expectantly and you climb into them, giggling as he wraps himself around you and rolls you both to the side so he can spoon you. You feel his exhausted cock feebly twitch as it makes contact with your bare ass. You smile to yourself as you wonder how long he will need to recover before he’s hard again.

His arms encircle you with warmth; a big hand comes down to lay flat across the plush skin of your tummy as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

“That was…” He’s trying to find the words to describe the passionate exchange you just shared but comes up flat.

“…the best head you’ve ever had?” You supply helpfully, a sly smile playing at your lips. This earns you a belly laugh as he plants a kiss on the side of your head.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what it was.” He pauses, taking a moment to compose himself. “I swear this isn’t just the afterglow talkin’ – but would you like to go out sometime? I’d like to take you on a real date.”

You open your mouth to respond but he forages on ahead before you have a chance to form words.

“I want to date you. Fully. Exclusively. I want take you to dinner, the movies – even to that stupid hero gala at the end of the year. The works.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I want you to wear that strappy sexy dress to the next work party and I want everyone there to see you and know that I’m your date. I want us to hangout at the bar with our friends and be able to just hold hands and be silly and couple-y. I want to have sex with you like this…all the damn time.”

He sounds so sure of himself as he says this next part – “I’ve felt this way for a while – and I’m hoping that you maybe feel the same?”

You can practically feel his heart jumping in his chest behind you.

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend Eijiro?”

“Well – we don’t need to put a label on it just yet if you’re not comfortable. We can take some time to feel things out and just-”

“Yes.”

“Huh?” He’s frozen around you, thinking your answer is too good to be true.

“Absolutely. Yes. I want to be your girlfriend.” The tumble of words comes out of your mouth before you even register what’s happening. “Let’s do it all – dates, team-ups, galas, sex. There’s really no one else I’d want to share all of that with. And yeah – I’ve felt this way for a while, too.”

Behind you, Eijiro grins so widely he practically radiates sunshine. “Sounds like we’ve got a full blown relationship on our hands here, sweetheart.”

You feel your face blush at the term of endearment. “Usually I wouldn’t go rushing into something so quickly…but this. Us. I don’t know…it just feels right.” You muse, as he kisses your bare shoulder softly. “I guess we have been shamelessly flirting for months on end though.”

“Gotta love a slow burn.” Kirishima supplies, kissing the side of your head and then shifting away from you as he moves to get off the bed.

“Where are you going, hot stuff?” You gently swat his bare ass as he stands up, delighting in chuckle you elicit from the hardening hero.

He walks around the bed to kneel before you, settling between your legs. He grabs your thighs and pulls you roughly towards him, bringing your butt to the edge of the bed.

“So now that things are all official…I think I’d better return the favor. Any interest in receiving the best head of your life?” He starts kissing up our leg and you shiver with excitement. Oh, hell yes.

“Hold on – if I had to use a condom to blow you, that means that if you’re gonna go down on me you need to use…” You search the deep recesses of your mind and try to recall what you learned in high school sex ed. “…a dental dam? Is that a thing?”

Kirishima pulls away from where he’s licking up your thigh to give you one of his trademarked-shark-toothed grins. “Go check the dresser drawer, there’s a box of them to the right. A good Pro Hero is always prepared.”

You smile back at him – it’s going to be a long, hard night.

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explosionkatsu · 1 year

Text

"Age doesn't matter" 4

Dad!Bakugou x F!Babysitter!Teacher!Reader

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

After his shift, Eijirou headed towards his office and changed into his casual attire. It's an uneventful shift which Eijirou was glad about since it meant no one got hurt. But he couldn't stop thinking about Katsuki and his well-being.

Being a hero means helping as much as you can even if it costs you to offer up your life. So if it takes him eternally to find the person who caused this misery to his friend, he will.

Thinking about this made Eijirou's blood boil. It makes him think back to the day Katsuki introduced her to them. At first, he thought she was a fine woman who doesn't care about Katsuki's status, and wealth. But as the day goes by, he started noticing the changes in his friend. It even got to the point that Katsuki had to miss work just for him to buy her desires. Materialistic desires.

How dare she manipulate his best friend.

How dare she steal his wealth.

How dare she fool around while Katsuki's working his ass off.

How dare she leave him and their child behind.

Thinking about this made Eijirou desperate and arrest her right away. But that isn't logical thinking. He knew he needed to know her side first. He needed to know why she does that.

After Eijirou wrapped up, he put his suit where the agency will cleanse it. He bid everyone goodbye with a smile before departing the building. His smile suddenly slips as he fishes his phone from his pocket. Grasping it firmly, he doubled taps the screen seeing his phone lit up. His finger dances on the screen as he dials a familiar number before placing the phone near his ear and waiting for the other line to answer.

"Hello?"

"Ah hey! How are you doing?" Eijirou smiled as he began walking.

"Kirishima. I didn't expect you to call.”

"Haha, yeah. Today's uneventful so my shift ended quite early." Eijirou said scratching his head.

"So, what's up?"

Eijirou's smile disappears again, "I'll get frankly to the topic." He said with a serious voice, "I hope you have useful news."

The person at the other line raised an eyebrow before smiling. "Ah. Yes actually. You'll be shocked."

"What is it?" Eijirou asked making him stop walking.

"She's actually still in the city."

"Okay, class. It’s already 4 pm. That's all for today. You may only leave when your parents showed up to pick you up." Ms. Y/n smiled as she started assembling her items.

One by one, the parents show up greeting her before they took their child and leave. The only one left is Kazui who's busily sketching random stuff on a piece of paper.

The fact that Kazui knew someone would pick him up but probably late made Ms. Y/n feel sad. He’s too young to experience this kind of thing. That is also why she mentioned to Mr. Bakugou that she used to be a babysitter so that she can officially take care of Kazui.

Taking a huge breath, Ms. Y/n made her way to Kazui who hasn't noticed her yet. Once she reached his side, she knelt down and tap him on his shoulder trying to get his attention which worked.

“Ms. Y/n?” Kazuo looked at her curiously as he stopped doodling.

“Will anyone pick you up?” Ms. Y/n asked. She ought to know if someone will pick him up so that she’ll know if they had to wait or she’ll take him with her.

Kazuo looked down at his paper sadly. “Papa didn't mention he’ll pick me up, not grandma.” He mumbled.

His tone of voice causes Ms. Y/n’s heart to ache. So without further ado, she gathers her things, as well as Kazui’s, and motioned him to follow her.

“Ms. Y/n, where are we going?” Kazui asked as he watches his teacher locking their classroom door.

“I’ll take you to my apartment again. But I need to message your grandparents first, or your papa to let them know you’re with me.” Ms. Y/n smiled down at Kazui who smiled at her excitedly.

“Really!? Do I get to watch you cook again?!” Kazui beamed and followed Ms. Y/n way to the teacher’s office where she has her things.

“Of course.” Ms. Y/n giggled seeing Kazui's eyes sparkling.

Once Ms. Y/n finished packing the things she needed to work on her home and messaging Kazui’s guardian, she wave to her co-teachers, telling them she’ll take her leave.

Ms. Y/n felt Kazui’s hand grasp her skirt making her look down. This must be how Kazui is to Mr. Bakugou. So she took his hand and held it giving Kazui a gentle smile.

“What do you want for dinner, dear?” Ms. Y/n asked as they both headed to the exit door.

Kazui released a humming sound as if thinking, making Ms. Y/n chuckle as she watches him.

“Can we have Hamburger Steak?” Kazui looked up at her showing his beautiful velvet eyes as he waited for her to answer.

“Mhhmm.” Ms. Y/n pretended to think, placing her pointer finger on her pouting lips. “Alright.” She smiled.

“Yay!!”

It was now 6 pm in the evening and Katsuki just finished his shift. He's glad and pissed at the same time that today was slow. No villain attacks or what so ever.

As he made his way to his agency, Katsuki took this chance to check his phone. Seeing a lot of notifications from his old mentor, his parents, and Kazui’s school. Of course, he clicked the one concerning his child.

When the message showed on his screen, he reads it carefully. Although, the content of the message made him facepalm. He forgot to inform Kazui’s teacher he’ll pick him up late. Boy, he was glad Kazui’s teacher is considerate enough to look after Kazui while he was on duty.

She’s been taking care of his child for a while now since they both got closer and she even bring his child to her apartment, waiting for someone to pick him up. He was glad someone was giving him a helping hand.

When Katsuki reached his office, he kept reminding himself to bring a gift as a thank you to Ms. Y/n for taking care of his child.

After they both went to the supermarket to get the ingredients needed for their dinner, Ms. Y/n went to the beverage area and added a small bottle of sparkling grape juice for herself and a pair of orange juice boxes for Kazui. She paid everything to the cashier and walk their way to her apartment which isn't that far from the school.

When they entered her apartment, Kazui took the bags from Ms. Y/n, helping her to place them on the counter which he could barely reach.

Ms. Y/n giggled at this and thanked Kazui before going to her bedroom and changing into comfortable clothes. After changing, she made her way to her kitchen and started preparing.

“Ms. Y/n?” Kazuo called out while he sat on the counter top where he could watch Ms. Y/n cook. But of course, away from the stove.

“Yes, sweetie?” Ms. Y/n answered while she focuses on mixing the contents needed for the burger steak.

“Are you single?”

Ms. Y/n halt her movement, blinking confusedly before turning her head to look at Kazui. “Where did this come from?”

“Well, I don't see any other pictures in here. Only your picture and a family picture right there.” Kazui said raising his hand to point where he saw the picture.

Observant. The word that came up in Ms. Y/n's mind. She knew Kazui’s smart. She witnessed how he can effortlessly solve any problem written on the blackboard. Especially when it's a situational problem. No, she didn't teach these kinds of problems to her students. But when she saw Kazui’s ability, she decided to test it out. That's where she found out about Kazui’s sharp thinking. Maybe it was because he was the child of the number 2 hero? Was he teaching his child these things? She’ll never know.

“Haha. I am single. And why are you asking this, huh?” Ms. Y/n eyes Kazui suspiciously and is playful at the same time. “Are you going to ask me out?”

Kazui’s face turns red and seeing this reaction made Ms. Y/n laugh.

“I’m kidding.” Ms. Y/n said giggling and continue preparing their dinner.

“C-can I ask you a question?” Kazui was looking at his feet when he said this.

“Go ahead, sweetie.” Ms. Y/n spoke out gently as she started shaping the burger steak.

“Can you be my mama?”

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo mha #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x you #bnha bakugou

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jounosnumberoneslut · 1 year

Text

How they would react to your nipple piercings and how much they like them?

headcanons

short scenarios

Sorry for the grammatical mistakes english isn't my native language!

pairings... reader x Dazai Osamu; Chuuya Nakahara; Fyodor Dostoyevsky; Nikolai Gogol; Sigma; Tecchou Suehiro; Jouno Saigiku;

contains... slightlysmut!, breastplay, nippleplay, alcohol, mentions of cigarette, dirty talk, nudity, mentions of cocksucking and sex

Dazai 8/10

You are Dazai’s coworker in the Agency. You flirted sometimes, everyone knew you will end up in his bed. One Friday night you two went out to drink and he brought you up to his apartment.

When you entered in the front door, couldn’t get enough from each others mouth. He wanted you so much like you him. Dazai ripped off your clothes, only let your lingerie on. He massaged your boobs across the bra. You let out soft moans as your piercing stimulated your nipples. He lied you onto his bed, kissed you passionately while unclipsed your bra and resolutely grabbed your tits. He felt the metal balls the sides of your nipple and grinned into your mouth.

„Ohh Bella, what is this tiny toy? Is it for me? If you had said it before, I had dragged down your clothes and fucked you on my desk. But now... I wanna taste it, and hope this won’t be my last time”

Chuuya 9/10

Chuuya is one of your best friend, you two usually hang out, never had intimate relationship. You desired him but didn’t want to ruin your friendship.

One summer night you had to go down to the grocery store, wear only a tight and thin white top without bra and shorts. Then from the nowhere a message has arrived from Chuuya. „Please come up to me, there is little problem, hurry!” You ran to his apartment, luckily you two lived close to each other. You had keys to him, entered his home. He stretched out on his couch, before him on the table a half empty wineglass. He stood up as you arrived, and walked toward you, with an empty cigarette packet in his hand. This was the problem... You took out a packet cigarette from your bag and wanted to give him, but he stand before you with widened eyes. He stared your tits, placed his hands to your hips and slowly ran up under your breasts.

„Baby, if you knew how much this view turns me on. And not the alcohol say this. I always fantasied about you, but these suprised me, and made me hard. What if we try to level up our relationship? Please baby, I need you!”

Fyodor 3/10

You work as Fyodor’s assistent. You admire him and slowly you fell in love. He’s a real bastard, Fyodor likes to take advantage of you.

You never knew what’s in his head, there was time when he made you to suck him off. One day he hiked your skirt up and fucked you from behind. He used you to satisfy his needs Never touched you or undressed you naked...until today.

You brought tea to his office, he sat behind his desk and computer. You put down the cup before him and stood back, waited his next order. He sipped his tea, smiled and honeyed commanded you to strip to him. You blushed and swallowed hard before started, to take off your dress. Standing only your lacy lingerie ahead of your boss made you shiver. You slowly unclipsed your bra, let it fall to the ground. Fyodor eyes widened as gazed your bare breasts for the first time and realised your jewel.

„Myshka, I didn’t notice your sinful thingy before. I regret, you messed up your beautiful, silky skin with that metal. Now please show me what kind of voices will come out of your soft lips, if you play with them. Caress yourself and dance to me.”

Nikolai 10/10

You are have empoyed a small aparment while enjoying Sigma’s casino. In the two weeks that you were there, you gambled continuously.

In the first days you felt, someone is staring you while you played the games. You noticed a strange figure in white clothes, in the corner. He didn’t do nothing just smiled at you from afar. You always smiled at him back. Sometimes he bought you cocktails, tried to make contact with you.

When you felt his gaze in your own room as well, your holiday at the Casino took a sinister turn. You showered and washed your hair in your bathroom, when your doorbell rang. You wrapped one smaller towel around your hair, one around your wet body and slipped into your bathrobe. You opened the door and that young handsome white haired clown stood before you. You tried to ask what can you help but he sensually brushed his lips to yours and closed the door behind his back. He ripped off all the fabric from you and roughly grabbed your tits, played with your peaked nipples while his tongue massaged your own.

„Dove, if you knew how long I’ve been wanting to feel these shiny piercings! I’m already hard, want to bite them, then cum on your beautiful rosy tips. My darling, what do you think? Do you want my tongue to be pierced?”

Sigma 6/10

You are with your boyfriend Sigma two weeks ago. He is shy a little, because he never had relationship before and don’t want to rush anything.

You spent the night at him, waited tolerantly when he want to give his virginity to you. Didn’t want to hurry him, but you have a handsome boyfriend and you didn’t do anything besides kissing and cuddling. You couldn’t wait any longer. Sigma went to bath, in the meantime you were able to undress under under the blanket. He walked out from the bathroom, with his hair in a mussed bun and towel around his waist. You sat next to you and caressed your cheek. It’s the perfect time, you playfully pulled him down to the soft bed and lied onto him and gave him a small kiss. Your breasts pressed against his naked chest. He blushed hard, his nipples erected (too) as he felt the cold steels on his warm skin.

„What is this feeling on my chest love? Is it what I think? Are you this bad girl? I’d be lying if I said I don’t like it. Can I play with them right?”

Tecchou 7/10

You dated and Tecchou are dating. He all the times escorted you home, last time he kissed you before said goodbye. This is the third time together, you were in cinema.

You wore a slinky, short black dress without bra under it. Tecchou couldn’t hide his feelings about your look, he stared you more then the movie. After the end, you walked with you home like the previous times. He kissed you passionately, couldn’t control his own hands. Groped your hips and ran below your ass. You quietly moaned into his mouth, then he broke the kiss and apologized, didn’t want to be much. You kissed his cheek and invited him to your home (bedroom). As you locked the door behind you, Tecchou kissed you deeply, then placed small kisses to your cheek and neck while carefully pulled the zipper down on the back of your dress. He slowly pulled down the fabric, kissed your collarbone with his eyes closed but they widened when he felt your piercings on his tongue.

„Honey, are these hurt you? Please tell me they aren’t, want to play with them so much. My little presents.”

Jouno 9/10

You worked as a hunting dog, your boss is Fukuchi like Jouno’s. Your mission was to chase after a corparation, but those bastards found you faster than you them. They rushed into your home with guns, you just managed to protect yourself. Fukuchi commanded to Jouno, take care of you in these days.

You two were in good relationship, maybe you felt a little more about him. He let you to sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch. You had pain in your full body, you were injured as well. Jouno always asked, what can he help, but you always declined, didn’t want to tire him. (but he wanted to do something, couldn’t listen your aching muscles anymore) You went to the bathroom to run hot water into the tub. When it was full, you took off your clothes and sat in. You lied back, let the hot water numbs your aching body parts. An idea came up, shout out to Jouno, asked him to wash your body because you know, he can’t see your naked body and you are injured and he is your nurse. He blushed, wanted to help but not thought about like this. He felt how will this end up. He kneeled down next to the tub, watered his hands and forced out some shower gel to his palm. He carefully massaged your back and shoulder then down to your sides. You whispered to his ears, he have to wash you everywhere and led his hands to your breast. He squeezed them softly, pinched your nipples and gently pulled your piercings a little. He cocky smiled and chuckled.

„What kind of dirty girl you are? You are injured and teasing me like this? If you’ll be better I’ll punish you. But now, I could be gentle, if you are in?”

masterlist

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livvyisb0red · 4 months

Text

“Let me cheer you up ;)”

Wealthy!Best Friend!Hawks x Stressed!Reader

Summary: Keigo’s beloved best friend has been overly stressed with work at their agency; his only way he thought to calm them down is to have a night-in at his penthouse with some drinks and music.

- Best Friends to Lovers (?) -

**CW: overworked, kissing, alcohol, cuddling

*Reader is a prohero with their own agency

NOT PROOFREAD

Another sigh fell from his mouth as Keigo set his phone on the small table in front of him, careful not to knock over his glass of water.

“My one weekend off and everyone is busy!” He grumbled before falling back onto his sofa, the multicolored screen catching his attention as he sits upright, allowing him to fixate on the sitcom that illuminates from the screen.

A few episodes pass before his phone buzzes on the table.

*1 message from: Loser ^///^*

- dude i’ve had so much to do at my agency since my assistant got a new job - 9:30 pm

~ I bet :( Do you want me to send my assistant over to your agency? - 9:30 pm

- omg please i’d literally cry. - 9:31 pm

~ Of course! What all would he be doing? - 9:31 pm

He leaned forward to get a sip of his water before checking his phone again.

- honestly he could probably come in tomorrow. if there’s two of us looking through these reports we can get it done in about two hours. I’ll be paying him a little extra too since he isn’t part of my agency. - 9:32 pm

~ Alright! I wish you luck. You leaving now then? - 9:32 pm

- yeah probably. why? - 9:32 pm

~ I’m booooooooorrrreeeedd - 9:33 pm

Keigo had sent the message with hopes that his best friend would want to come over. He knew they’d want to!

- kei I’m so stressed idk. i just wanna chill tonight - 9:34 pm

Well this didn’t go as planned. He had another trick up his sleeve. Hoping it would work, he took a deep breath and pressed his thumb against the screen of his phone.

~ Let me cheer you up ;) - 9:35 pm

“Fuck why did I do that?!” Keigo immediately got anxious after sending that. What if they get mad? Will they hate him? Oh god. Intrusive thoughts starting swirling through his head, playing out the worst possible out come over and over again until…

- yeahh it’s friday why not lmao - 9:36 pm

Jumping off the couch, he cheered loudly before rushing back to his phone.

~ Dress up for me, and bring a bathing suit ;) - 9:36 pm

- okay feathers lol - 9:36 pm

Keigo rushed around his house speed cleaning everything to make sure it was nice for when (y/n) came over. He took the cover off of his hot tub, making sure it was the perfect temperature for the two of them. Throwing some snacks together on a plate for them, he thought it would be nice to pour some Rosé for them. Rushing to his room, he looks for something to where quickly finding some nice dress pants and a white button up for him to wear.

Taking off his t-shirt, he looks at himself in the mirror before taking a deep breath and throwing his dress shirt on, barely buttoning it up since they would be getting in the hot tub.

The knock on the door pulled him out of his trance, and brought him into a new one. He practically appeared at the door, opening it for his dazzling bestie.

“Hey feathers.”

Oh boy. They did NOT have to get that pretty for HIM. If it weren’t for his ego, Keigo would be on his knees IMMEDIATELY for them.

“Hi chickie” Keigo choked out with a wink. He took their hand leading them into his penthouse, while grabbing the glass of rosé to hand to (y/n).

“Oh my god, you didn’t have to do all this for me Kei! I’m serious!”

“Why wouldn’t I? After a stressful day I would wanna be pampered too.”

Walking over to his coffee table, he grabbed the remote putting on music that just begged to be danced to. Keigo strutted back to (y/n), hand out, inviting them to dance with him.

“Really, Kei?” (Y/n) shook their head, giggling before taking his hand and accepting the invitation.

The lights in the room changed to a hot pink before Keigo put his phone back on the table, looking back at his best friend, admiring their eyes. They danced for what felt like hours, the upbeat, glittery music mixed with the pink lights and alcohol had them ignoring anything that happened around them. Keigo grabbed (y/n)’s face, looking deeply into their eyes before asking a question which would change the night for the better.

“Wanna take a shot or two?”

Laughter erupted between the two of them before they made their way to his liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of Ciroc and two shot glasses. They each took a shot before chasing it down with more rosé. Slowly but surely they made their way back into the living room before Keigo looked at (y/n), gesturing to his balcony.

“Let’s take this outside, babe.” Keigo practically drooled from his mouth.

They both got changed in his room before making their way to his balcony, with Keigo leading the way and opening the sliding door. He climbed over the side before grabbing (y/n)’s hand, guiding them into the hot tub with him. Thoughts started swirling through Keigo’s mind. He wanted to put his arm over (y/n) more than anything, but the fear of ruining the relationship they had took over. So he just leaned back and looked over to the city around them. They both let out a sigh, soaking in the relaxing feeling of the warm water washing around them. Keigo jumped at the feeling of someone’s head on his shoulder, looking down at (y/n), who was looking back at him before shooting a wink. They both laughed, realizing the others feelings.

“You cool with this?” (Y/n) asked in an almost whisper-like tone.

“Uh YEAH!” He cheered, causing them both to burst into laughter for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

They cuddled up to each other in the hot tub, his arm over their shoulder, their leg over top of his. Keigo looked at (y/n) with longing eyes before pulling them onto his lap. He looked up at them, running his hand up their body before resting it on the back of their head and pulling them into a kiss.

The kiss lasted hours in their head, when in reality it was only a few seconds. They looked at each other before Keigo let out a drunken giggle and kissing (y/n) once more, this one with more passion than the last. Alcohol running through their mouths, causing kiss to be sickeningly sweet to both of them. Keigo pulled away, leaving his hand on their waist.

“I think we are both too drunk for this, but just know that I’ve liked you for a long time. I don’t want anything happening between us while we’re drunk. I’d rather not have any regrets in the morning.”

(y/n) looked at him with the most mesmerizing smile Keigo had ever seen before kissing him once more and nodding in agreement.

“I was thinking the same thing, Kei”

They both got out of the hot tub, drying off before heading back inside.

“Do you want a sweatshirt and sweats to change into?” Keigo asked from his bedroom.

“Yes please! Thanks!”

Keigo came down the stairs with the promised clothes in his hands.

“You can get changed in my bathroom over there, you know where it is.”

Watching as his friend left the room before checking the time on his phone, 1:37 am.

“Wow” he laughed to himself before looking back up and seeing (y/n) in his hoodie and pants which were way too big for them, but he loved it.

He put his arm up, inviting them over to the couch with him so he could put his arm over them.

“You know it’s almost 2:00, right?”

“No?! That much time passed?”

“Yeah, we should get to bed, I got a TV in my room so we’ll have something to watch while we fall asleep.”

“But I just sat down!”

Keigo giggled before picking them up and carrying them up the stairs into his room and laying them on his bed. They both got under the covers before tangling themselves together. He didn’t even get to turn on the tv before they fell asleep together with a new future ahead of them.

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sun-stricken · 3 months

Note

Headcannoms about friendship between Bickslow and Gray? I like to think after the fighting festival he really tries to make it up to Gray.

Gray: ‘we’re chill. It’s fine.’

Bickslow: ‘my babies will now perform a dance of apology’

Also a scenario I’d like to share!

Lucy: hey, Gray I picked up your mail. Why do you have a letter from a modelling agency?

Gray: oh that. I don’t know they just keep sending me them even though I’ve told them no.

Lucy: you’ve turned them down repeatedly?! *while crying inside*

Gray: yeah? It’s weird ‘cause I didn’t even apply.

Lucy: Lucy kick!

i for some reason hadn’t considered the idea of them having a close friendship, but i am now so here! a gift !

i had so much fun with this

* my personal hc is that Bickslows dolls feel a lot of what he himself feels, and also theyre kinda like birds

* so they too try to make it up to Gray, they bring him little things they find, such as shiny rocks, pins, and other tiny objects they find

* Bickslow just nods in approval from the sidelines when they bring them to Gray

* They were both fairly awkward with each other post festival but after Bickslow gave Gray an honest apology they began to turn over a new leaf

* people find the friendship strange tbh, Gray is known as this vaguely calm and like, super normal guy, and Bickslow is just— not

* theyre surprisingly comfortable with each other

* they dont hang out a lot outside the guild, but thats not to say they dont ever,

* While they dont work the best together and it took a while be able to fight along side on another,

* If the Thunder Legion and Team Natsu have to pair up usually they do bc they’re comfortable with each other and trust can go a long way

* theyre both texting fiends, like its a problem how much they message their friends, so when they found out the other was the same oh my god was it a train wreck

* their conversations can go for hours and if you read through them youd probably have an aneurysm because the topics make no sense and Bix doesn’t even try to spell correctly

* They have gotten close and friendly but that doesnt mean theu ever know what to expect from the other, their opinions and thoughts are so different from each other, if rhey ever have the same idea its like all the stars and planet’s have aligned and world is about to end

* Bickslows hair is naturally black and Gray helped him dye it once and they deadass looked they walk out the smurf set for weeks, Bix’s bathroom looked like they murdered a hundred of them

* Gray has an affinity for collecting hand weapons (swords, spears, bows, etc) while Bickslow likes taking apart and building old bombs (actual explosive grenades, land mines, smoke/flash grenades)

* they bonded over it and talked about it in public and terrified about 20 people rhat were in earshot

* theyre both a big hit with kids

* Bickslow gets added to the long list of people who barge into Gray house unannounced

* a lot of the time they will talk (coughcomplaincough) about two different things in the same convo

* Bickslow: the cops were at my door again last night because of the inactive grenade i threw in the fountain, woke me up and everything

* Gray: ugh, i hate that, Natsu blew up a building again and Erza yelled at the both of us

* Bickslow: thats so rude, do you think i should make another one and send it to them?

* Gray: totally, she knew it wasnt me but i still got scolded

so happy ppl have realized how pretty Gray is, now we’re gonna talk abt it bc im an overachiever

* Hes been scouted by plenty of different modeling agencies over the years, which really boosted his ego but very quickly became annoying as hell bc he never even applied

* He gets a couple a month, and he accepted once just to get them off his back and found it really embarrassing bc he was everywhere

* his friends in and outside the guild bought the magazines he was featured in and teased him mercilessly and he never stepped foot in another agency ever again

* Hes really photogenic but hates gets his photo taken, most of the pictures hes in ‘willingly’ hes glaring at the camera

* he now just blocks the numbers they call him on and throws out the letter they send him, if they stop him on the street he will walk away before the conversation even starts

* when Lucy found out something inside her died a little

* she pestered him about it and said she’ll go with him! he wont even have to take the money for it! she’ll take it! 😁

* she gets shot down every time but that doesnt mean she quit trying

#fairy tail #gray fullbuster #bickslow #ft bickslow #wth is his last name #sun strickens ft #sun stricken answers #anon ask #major mAJOR chaotic + normal chaotic #fairy tail headcanons #fairy tail incorrect quotes #gray is pretty im so happy ppl agree #hes pretty in universe too #i do make the rules #is it caller the thunder legion?#it is now

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gyummigon · 10 months

Text

☆ good fool part 2 | gaon [kwak jiseok]

idol!gaon x fem!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

୨୧ word count: 1.8k ୨୧ genre: fluff, some angst, friends to lovers ୨୧ summary: you and jiseok work in the same agency, you are older than him, so you expect him to see you as an older sister, however, he has been secretly in love with you for a long time. ୨୧ a/n: it is very late, but since you (two people) asked for it, i rushed to post this. well, english is not my first language, so please be gentle.

Jiseok was already on his way before you had a chance to say a word. After a few seconds of looking at his back, you made a gesture to follow him, but he was already too far ahead to catch up and you didn't even have a good enough sentence to say to him.

You sighed in frustration, maybe it would be easier if he could understand you a little. You didn't want to jeopardize his career and you felt responsible to be the prudent person in his relationship. Jiseok was a smart man, but sometimes he was too impulsive for his own good.

You closed your eyes and turned away, too. Maybe it was better that way. No matter how much you liked him, you were both out of each other's league and very few would approve of a loving relationship between the two of you. So you told yourself that it would be best to leave things as they were for now, even though you had no idea what to do from there.

After a few days, Jiseok sent you a text message apologizing for his behavior and saying that he understood that it was inappropriate. Although you were disappointed, you were at least relieved that he was talking to you to try to fix it. You decided to let it go and move on, continuing to relate to him as you had always done.

But it was different, you avoided each other, and it seemed that embarrassment outweighed any effort you or he might have made to engage in casual conversation. It wasn't like before, when you could talk and joke naturally; there was an uncomfortable tension in the air when you were together, and every time you tried to talk to him to clear things up, Jiseok always seemed to be busy or distracted.

His absence made you realize that you missed his loud laughter, his hugs, and the times you used to have together. You couldn't help but feel that something was wrong and that there was something you needed to tell him, even though you tried to move on and leave things as they were.

Finally, one day, you decided to have a face-to-face conversation with him about the situation. You went to the practice room after work to look for him, but as was becoming the custom, he was too busy to see you. Determined to talk to him no matter what, you sat down in the nearest chair and decided to wait until his practice was over, not considering that it would take him too long and you would fall asleep on your own shoulder from exhaustion.

It was after midnight when a gentle touch on your shoulder woke you up and you opened your eyes to see Jiseok's worried look. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly, trying to smile at you but looking forced and exhausted. "Why aren't you at home? You shouldn't be here alone this late."

A little embarrassed that he found you in this situation, you rubbed your eyes as you straightened up and looked around. You just blinked slowly for a few seconds, and when you felt a little more awake, you looked up at him.

"You're finally done," you mumbled as you let out a yawn. "It took you a long time."

Jiseok removed the heavy guitar case from his shoulders and carefully placed it on the floor, looking a little confused and surprised by your words. "Were you expecting me?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows at you. It was obvious from the dark circles under his eyes that he was tired. "Oh... Well, I'm sorry," he stuttered, slipping a hand into his pants pocket. "I didn't realize it had been too long...”

You stared at him in silence for a moment, trying to think of what to say and how to broach the subject that had been bothering you for so long. But now you were so tired and the urge to talk had hidden itself somewhere far away from you. Finally, you pushed yourself off the seat and, with a sleepy smile, leaned over the chair and wrapped your arms around his waist.

"Oh, you look pretty tired." Jiseok tensed a little at your touch, but he didn't move or try to move away from you. He stayed still until he let out a weary sigh and put a hand on top of your head. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Not really," you answered truthfully, and pulled away to look at him. "Are you okay? You look tired."

Jiseok gave a weak smile and a shrug. "Yes, I am a little bit tired, but nothing that I can't handle. Want me to take you home?"

You shook your head, even though you considered telling him yes, you knew you were there for a reason.

"I'm curious about why you're avoiding me."

"I..." he started to speak, but then stopped with a sigh. He grimaced and looked down to avoid your eyes. The question took him by surprise. "It's just..." His eyes met yours and he fell silent, you could tell he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered in the end, his voice full of regret. "It wasn't my intention to make you uncomfortable or push you away. I just got a little scared after I asked you to go out with me and I didn't know how to handle things after that."

"It's okay," you told him after you had analyzed his answer. "You don't have to apologize. I was a little scared at first, too, but that doesn't mean I rejected your declaration. I just had to make sure before I gave an answer, Jiseok. And... things will never be cleared up if we don't talk about what happened.

Jiseok raised an eyebrow in confusion and didn't try to hide the mixture of surprise and hope in his voice as he spoke. "You mean...? Wait, you... you would go out with me?"

“Well, I didn't say that," you replied with a mischievous smile.

A slight blush appeared on Jiseok's face as he frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. "But... I thought that..." he started to say, then stopped and looked away. You could tell he was unsure and frustrated by his own words. "You're mean."

You laughed a little and tapped him on the shoulder to make it clear that there was no seriousness in your words.

"You made me wait for hours and hours in that scary hallway, I had to take my revenge, don't you think?"

Jiseok relaxed his shoulders and tilted his head to the side with a broad smile as he listened to you. "Oh... you got me there." He laughed and closed his eyes with a soft sigh. "Why do I always make a fool of myself around you?"

"Mmm..." You pretended to think. "You know, many girls like foolish boys."

"Well..." A slight embarrassed blush appeared on his face as he spoke. "I didn't expect to hear that from someone like you," he admitted. "So you like stupid guys, huh? What do you think of me?"

"You're a good fool," you said with a serious and firm expression on your face, and Jiseok embellished the atmosphere with his laughter.

"Aww, thanks."

"The absolute truth."

"So, do you like me?" he asked after a pause and the nervousness in his voice showed. "Am I... in your category of foolish guys?"

Without answering, you stood up and he stepped back a little uneasily, almost dropping his guitar on the floor in the process. You both froze and looked at each other wide-eyed, surprised at each other's movements.

"Did you just walk away?"

"I... well..." Jiseok laughed awkwardly and took a step towards you. He took a deep breath and tried to find the courage to say something, but seemed to fail. His face turned redder than before and you couldn't help but notice how cute he was.

"What am I going to do with you, huh?" you wondered as you watched him for a few seconds.

Jiseok leaned his guitar back against the wall and came closer to you. There was a sparkle in his eyes when they met yours, and for a moment it was as if you had just woken up and seen daylight for the first time. You could feel the air around you getting warmer and the tension between you getting thicker.

"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?" he murmured as he hesitantly placed a hand on your waist. His eyes slowly fell to your lips, narrowing as you moistened them with your tongue. "We don't have to have a conversation right now."

"Please, you're making me feel weird," you whispered, tempted to do more than just stare at his lips. "Why don't you do something about it?"

"My turn." Subtle and quiet, Jiseok leaned forward. His lips were close to yours and you could feel the warmth of his breath lulling them. "Is this how you like it?" he asked in a deep voice.

You closed your eyes as he applied light pressure to the corners of your mouth, repeating the motion a few times to see your reaction. When he saw that you didn't object, he pulled your lips apart and placed his in between them. Even though it was barely moving, it felt soft, moist, and docile; and it pleased you that it was only necessary for you to make a few movements for it to yield to your command without putting up any resistance.

As you continued to kiss him, a part of you regained a little consciousness. It was late in the evening, outside of working hours, but you knew that at any moment someone might be walking around in those areas of the agency. You tried to pull away and tell him about the imprudence of making out in the middle of the hallway, but any such intention fell away when you felt his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him. You kissed him harder, until you lost track of time.

"Take me home tonight," you whispered after a moment.

"T-tonight?" Jiseok held your chin and made you tilt your head back to kiss you again, gently and naturally. He savored the moment, a soft sigh left his mouth and he pulled back a few inches to look at you. "Come on."

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marshmallowprotection · 8 months

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I'm replaying ray's after ending rn, and I'm not sure if anyone else feels this way, but I forgot how much it frustrated me. I just finished day 2 and from mc getting turned in through to the end.. I understand why the rfa couldn't communicate the plan through the messenger and all, but if I were in the situation irl, I would've reacted with a lot of anger. I would hate being lied to and left in the dark, and I'd be hurt about not getting to actually help until the last minute. I feel like locking mc in a closet until saeyoung was freed wouldn't change the plot significantly at all. As much as I want to live that happily ever after with saeran, this would put a bigger strain on the relationship than anything else that happened in his route. After making sure everyone was safe, I would really need some space, and it would take a long time to rebuild my trust in everyone. I'm curious about if anyone relates to this, and how you think saeran would react

For me personally, I wasn't upset. I understood why they had to do what they did to guard all the information. We're fighting the literal Prime Minster of their entire country, on top of a secret agency the likes of which none of us can begin to comprehend because as the players, we might see more than the MC does, but even we have it limited in terms of knowing what they're capable of.

One little, tiny whisper is all it could've taken for this operation to blow sky high in seconds.

Does that mean you're not allowed to be angry? Oh, no. You are very rightfully allowed to be angry and upset at them for doing what felt like the safest option in the heat of the moment. They lied to you and made you feel like everything was lost. You're trapped in a house with Rika, V, and an unconscious Saeyoung who you just watched beg like a dog to make them stop it. You are distressed and afraid. You haven't a clue what's happening. You are living in dread until they can tell you what's going on.

Now, you can call the RFA members as this is happening and if you do so, they will tell you there's more going on but they can't say a lot to you. They lied in the chatroom because that's not safe. Saeran is fighting for his life to make a secure phone channel to prevent that horrible outcome from happening when the agency tanks all of you with one false blow. I do not mince words when I say they weren't in the right to scare you, but they had to lie to save all of you.

Saeran is not the kind of person to condone lying.

He was angry that Vanderwood tricked you both. He was upset but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. He had to save you and do the best he could, and that's why we don't hear from him right away. He knew you would be safe as long as he kept working his ass off the rest of the night. They couldn't hurt you if they wanted him.

He had to have faith in that for your sake... for Saeyoung's sake.

I think we all understand that but it doesn't change how much it might hurt some of you, yourself included, Anon. They did that in the hopes it was the best they could do to protect you because it was all they could do in the moment. That was their option with the choices given to them. They didn't do this to hurt you intentionally, and that is the part that makes it easy for me to forgive them.

Does that mean it was okay to subject you to stress?

No!

By all means, communicate how much it hurt you because they need to know that! They didn't meant to do that! They're your friends and they would want to make this right with you! It doesn't have to be a major problem because they want to make it right! They want to do right by you!

I, personally, can't be upset with Saeran because he didn't choose to separate from you. He didn't want to lie to you. He had no choice. He had no choice but to work through the night and pray the RFA had a way of trying to gentle reassure you it was a "lie" over the phone by a coded message of "it seems hopeless but we'll try." He trusted them while he grinded his fingers to dust with the help of the team Jumin scrambled to put together after being ousted from C&R.

He apologizes, over and over, because he knows what's happened to you, his brother, and everyone you two care about. He didn't want it to go this way. He didn't want to hurt you or put you in danger. All he ever wanted was to live peacefully with you. If you're upset with him because you were lied to about this, he'll understand. If you're upset because he tried to throw his life away to save you, he'll understand.

God, this is a character who understands and wants to do the right thing. He wants to learn and be better!

Communicate this with Saeran!

Express the pain with Saeran!

He won't be upset that you're upset!

He'd rather you be honest with him!

Don't lie to his face and say it's okay if it's not okay!

You can work with him on this, just like the RFA.

#character analysis #mod kait #ask #mystic messenger #anon #saeran choi #mysme #mysticmessenger #choi saeran #mm #ge saeran #saeray #saeran #rae #saeran after ending

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broccoliboix5peepeeman · 1 year

Text

Birthday Reveal

The moment Shoto was inside, he shrugged off his coat and kicked off his shoes. He then lowered the bag full of presents to the floor, albeit delicately, before making his way to the bedroom; he didn't bother tidying up.

Birthdays were fun, now that he actually celebrated them, but they were also exhausting. Shoto figured he'd be used to the attention, considering his upbringing and hero ranking, but honestly, he couldn't have been more wrong. His family had been doting - always trying to make up for lost time - while his friends made fun of him good-naturedly, and while he enjoyed the company, it was all very overwhelming.

But Shoto had to admit, as he quickly changed into his Deku-themed pyjamas, his exhaustion was paired with disappointment.

Izuku had been at work all day.

Sure, they co-ran "Our Power" agency together, so it made sense that they had to cover for each other with holidays sometimes - especially when Izuku insisted on keeping their relationship a secret for safety reasons, despite Shoto's solid counterarguments - but it was Shoto's birthday and Izuku still hadn't come home!

He checked his phone, hoping for another notification updating him on the situation, but alas, all he could see was the text from three hours ago - when Izuku's shift was supposed to finish - saying he'd been called out.

With a sigh, Shoto finished his night-time routine and climbed into bed.

He knew he shouldn't worry. Izuku was the number one hero for a reason. He could handle anything... yet Shoto couldn't fall asleep. As selfish as he felt for wanting his partner here with him, they had a duty to Japan - he didn't expect Izuku to forgo that just to appease him - but that duty was dangerous. Three hours of overtime due to call-out was never a good sign.

His phone buzzed.

Shoto was almost embarrassed by how quickly he grabbed it, only to be dismayed to find that it was only Uraraka.

Uraraka [21:25]: Hey I know you're moping bc you thought it was Deku messaging you,which is dumb bc I'm cooler than him 😤

Uraraka [21:25]: Anyway, turn on NHK Hero news live right now

Me [21:25]: K ☹

Shoto opened the browser on his phone, snorting when a notification popped up from Uraraka, calling him a "rude bitch boy, you'll thank me later". Once he had the station up, he turned on the volume and clicked play.

The screen loaded, showing Izuku in his hero suit, smiling as he spoke to a reporter. They seemed to be talking about the villain encounter, but it wasn't hurried or frantic; it was almost leisurely. Shoto frowned.

'Okay, Hero Deku.' The reporter looked at her watch. 'You requested this interview and it is now officially nine thirty. You said you had an announcement to make?'

'Ah, yes!' A deep flush painted those freckled cheeks as Izuku rocked on his feet. 'So, as you know, Hero Shoto's birthday is today!'

He heartbeat quickened at the direct address, and he swallowed heavily.

'As one of my best friends and co-owner of our agency, we usually spend his birthday hanging out in some form, but unfortunately that wasn't possible today.' Izuku continued. His hands were fiddling with each other in front of him; he was nervous. 'So I thought I'd give him one of his presents now, now that I know he's watching this.'

His partner turned to the camera, and suddenly, his smile reached his eyes, crinkling at the corners. It was a fond smile; the kind only Shoto was privy too.

'Happy birthday, Shouchan.' His voice quivered slightly, but was laced with affection. 'I know you've wanted this for a while, but I've been too chicken to do it. That changes today, because you were right... about everything. So... to quote All Might, I am here!'

He paused, exhaling slowly. 'I am here... to tell the world that I love Todoroki Shoto! He is my partner in life, and I feel so blessed to wake up beside him. We're in a relationship and have been for a while now, and I can't wait for us to grow old together.'

Izuku grinned dopily at the camera - Shoto was sure he was making a similar face at his phone - before realising where he was.

He then coughed awkwardly. 'Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this announcement, but I have a boyfriend to get home to, and I'm already three hours late.'

Before anyone else could speak, emerald lightning shone as Izuku launched himself in the air; the camera focused on him flying off into the distance, like a shooting star. The reporter was gobsmacked, while her microphone picked up the cries of the excited fans who had gathered around to watch the interview in person. Meanwhile, Shoto buried his face in a pillow, hugging it close to his chest as he rolled around the bed.

It was finally out there. Everyone knew about them. He was finally able to love Izuku openly.

It was the best present.

A loud thud sounded from outside, followed by a key opening the front door. Clearly, his partner was keen to see him, and Shoto wasn't complaining. However, as soon as the door slammed shut, he heard a squawk, followed a clatter and a bang.

He shot out of bed and into the corridor, where he found Izuku sprawled out across the floor, having tripped over the shoes Shoto had left out earlier.

'You good, my love?'

'Never better.' His partner grumbled against the tatami. 'Anyway... Happy birthday, baby cakes. I hope you liked my present.'

Shoto tipped his head back and laughed.

'I loved it.'

#I'll clean up typos tomorrow #tododeku #todoroki shoto #midoriya izuku #izushou #todomido #todoizu #dekutodo #uraraka ochako #wingman ochaco #AgarJelly writes #long post #and now i sleep

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blackswaneuroparedux · 11 months

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A load of Porkies: Verlaine’s poetry and the French resistance on D Day 1944

Les saglots longs Des violons De l'automne Blessent mon coeur D'une langueur Monotone.

- Paul Verlaine, Chanson d’automne (1866)

6 June 1944 marks the commemoration of the historic D Day landings in Normandy. Every year I exchange messages with family members, friends, and also some of my army veteran comrades with whom I served in the past. The simple messages of remembrance are a reminder to us of the sacrifices made by British and the Commonwealth, American, and the French on that fateful day when Allied forces stormed the beaches on Normandy.

I remember receiving one post from an ex-veteran friend who flew with me. It was a picture of a local delicacy, Lincolnshire Chine, a traditional dish of cured pork and parsley only made in Lincolnshire, and a cryptic message underneath, ‘chanson d’automne’.

My friend is too witty for his own good sometimes and even I was stumped. He had read modern languages at Oxford and so was always prone to quoting French poetry at every opportunity, no matter how inappropriate the situation - like the time we were fortunate to have avoided a rocket attack from the Taliban but for some cool headed piloting and as we took a breather to thank God we made it out he bursts into poetry. He was (and still is) ferociously clever but wears it lightly behind his amiable character. It’s not surprising that our senior officers didn’t warm to his dry wit in the officers mess as he often lampooned the more boorish of the officer class that passed through our mess as guests. At heart he was a farmer and he longed to go back to his family farm lands in Lincolnshire after his time was up flying helicopters in the British army.

I nicknamed him Lucy after the great Roman patrician, soldier, and statesman, Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus. Cincinnatus was the outstanding Roman military leader who displayed humility, loyalty, and modesty. At the height of his power and fame he displayed the highest civic duty by giving up everything to go back to his simple farm life - which in time became the Roman civic ideal. I still think the nickname suits my ex-comrade in arms very well.

Drinking wine gives me moments of clarity and it slowly dawned on me what his cryptic message had meant.

Chanson d’Automne (1866) was a poem by the celebrated French poet, Paul-Marie Verlaine. His poem Chanson d’Automne (1866) is among the most beloved in French poetry. It captures his nostalgia for lost time in fewer words, and possibly just as well, as does Proust in six volumes.

Although it might have surprised Verlaine had he known it, the first lines of his poem were used by the British in the Second World War to signal the start of D-Day to the French resistance, which began the Allied invasion of Nazi-occupied France. D-Day (or "Operation Overlord") was a herculean planning task, requiring remarkable coordination both between the British, American, Free French, and Commonwealth armies, and with French resistance fighters on the ground, who were charged with helping aerial bombers disrupt German transportation routes, so as to impair the Germans' ability to send reinforcements.

But what had Paul-Marie Verlaine got to do with a side of cured pork from Lincolnshire?

Paul-Marie Verlaine lived and worked in Lincolnshire in 1875, teaching French, Latin and drawing at William Lovell's school. He had spent eighteen months in prison for shooting and wounding his lover Arthur Rimbaud and, when released in January that year, considered becoming a Trappist monk before deciding (the next best thing?) to become a school master in England. He came to London, registered with an employment agency and was soon heading north to this remote and, on the face of it, inhospitable backwater. Verlaine then spent a year as a schoolmaster in the village of Stickney, just north of Boston, Lincolnshire, in the mid-1870s and it is said that he became enamoured with this Lincolnshire delicacy. Verlaine continued to search for stuffed chine as he journeyed around Britain, but as is still the case today, he failed to find it outside Lincolnshire.

Unless you’re from Lincolnshire then the chances are you’ve never heard of stuffed chine. Unique to Lincolnshire, stuffed chine is a traditional dish made with cured pork and parsley. Once a county staple, its popularity has declined over the years as the younger generation looks to more modern cuisine and the older cuts are slowly forgotten. In the days before fridges and freezers, families would cure their meat to last them through the lean winter months. Each family would have a couple of pigs to kill - some of the meat would be salted and hung, and the rest used fresh.

Communities were tightly knit and there was often a friendly agreement between neighbours to stagger their kills and share fresh meat among the families, who then reciprocated when they in turn killed their pigs. Neighbours would pass on and receive this “pig cheer” all through the winter months while the pig killing went on, thus ensuring they always had fresh meat.

Once spring approached, however, they would look to use up some of the meat that had been salted and put away. Stuffed chine was traditionally served when the May Hiring Fair was in town (a kind of outdoor employment exchange, where people made themselves available for temporary work), and the largest chine was usually saved for Christenings – seeing a fresh row of parsley growing in a garden was often the sign that there was a baby on the way!

When the time came to use the chine it was soaked in cold water overnight, then carefully sliced from the spinal side towards the rind. Finely chopped parsley was packed tightly into the deep pockets in the flesh, then the joint was turned over and the process repeated on the other side. Next, the chine was very tightly wrapped up in muslin or an old pillowcase and simmered until cooked through. The cooked meat was left to cool still wrapped in cloth in order for it to set. Once completely cooled it was unwrapped, sliced thinly and served with a sprinkle of vinegar to cut through the fat.

Few butchers still use this traditional method as the cooked chine has to be carefully sliced by hand to avoid the bones, which due to the large bone-to-meat ratio makes it quite an expensive cut. For this reason many butchers choose to use collar bacon instead, which contains no bone and can therefore be sliced by a machine. There is something rather beautiful about the strips of pink salty pork divided by the flashes of punchy green parsley that immediately draws you in when you see it standing proudly in the butcher’s shop.

My ex-veteran friend’s witty post was a reminder how deeply immersed the British and the French (as well as the Germans) were in sharing a common currency of shared culture even in the bloody carnage of war. It was at 9.15pm French time on 5 June 1944, the opening notes of Beethoven's 5th, forming the Morse for V for Victory, sounded across the airwaves of BBC's Radio Londres into France. The speaker, Franck Bauer, read out personal messages that were known to individual Resistance groups in France. Hundreds of messages were sent out on the eve of the invasion, such as “Les carottes sont cuites” (The carrots are cooked), "La mélasse demain donnera le cognac" (Molasses tomorrow will bring forth cognac), and ““Jean a une longue moustache” (Jean has a long moustache).

But the most famous of all were verses from Verlaine's 'Chanson d'automne' destined for a Resistance group in central France. For the Resistance, these were a call to arms. All of these messages were picked up by the 15 Army listening post in Tourcoing, but although the Germans knew these messages were destined for the Resistance, they didn’t know their exact meaning. During the night of 5/6 June, the Resistance would carry out over 1,000 acts of sabotage, knocking out phone lines and blowing up railways, thus playing a vital and often overlooked role in the success of D-Day.

One of my favourite details of the whole D Day plan was how the Allies alerted the French that it was time to begin sabotaging rail-lines. On 1 June 1944, to tell the resistance to stand by for further alerts, the BBC transmitted the first three lines:

Les sanglots longs Des violons De l'automne

Per Arthur Symons' translation: "When a sighing begins / In the violins / Of the autumn-song".

The Germans wrongly believed that these lines were addressed to all Resistance circuits in France, and that when the next three lines were broadcast it would mean that invasion would follow within forty-eight hours. The lines were directed to a single Resistance circuit, Ventriloquist, working south of Orléans, instructing it to stand by for the next three lines, which would be the signal for it to carry out its railway-cutting tasks - in conjunction with the Allied landings.

Then, on June 5, to signal that sabotage efforts should begin, the next three lines were sent:

Blessent mon coeur D'une langueur Monotone

Symons: "My heart is drowned / In the slow sound / Languorous and long."

Both lines were intercepted by German forces, who took them as significant but didn't take adequate action; for one thing, they overestimated the scope of the sabotage operations to come. The second three lines of the Verlaine poem were broadcast over the BBC to the Ventriloquist Resistance circuit, instructing it to act at once in carrying out its railway-cutting sabotage. The SS Security Service radio interception section in Paris heard this as it was broadcast.

Believing, rightly, that the broadcast of the section of the poem was related to invasion, but wrongly, that it was an Allied call for railway sabotage throughout France, the Security Service immediately alerted the German High Command in the West.

An hour later, the German Fifteenth Army warned its various corps that intercepted messages pointed to an invasion within forty-eight hours (the parachute landings were fewer than three hours away). The German force responsible for most of the imminent assault area, the Seventh Army, which had received too many false warnings in the past, took no action.

The combination of airstrikes and ground sabotage proved extremely successful, especially as they wound up forcing the Germans to cross the Seine via ferry. The Germans ended up sending two panzer divisions all the way from the Russian front to fend off the invasion, but because of sabotage and bombings, it took less time to travel from the eastern front to France than it did for them to proceed from eastern France to Normandy.

This is a good time as any to also point out at the Allied invasion of the Nomandy beaches would not have gone as well as they did without the help and support of the French themselves. I think there has been a skewering of perceptions that the D Day landings and the subsequent liberation of France was purely due to the Allied forces. What gets overlooked is the bravery and courage of the home grown French Resistance that played a crucial part also.

Truth be told as Allied soldiers stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, 6 June 1944, the French Resistance were paving the way for their arrival. The French Resistance, the covert volunteers who had been struggling against the Nazis since 1940, leaped into action. They put their lives on the line as at no other time in the Second World War, risking everything to help the professional soldiers. This was their chance to liberate their country, and they seized it with both hands.

The French Resistance first emerged following the fall of France in 1940. With the nation’s armed forces shattered, some French people fled to Britain to remain free and continue the war. Most others bowed, with varying degrees of willingness, to the occupiers and the collaborating Vichy regime. But a few took another path, forming cells of spies and guerrillas who kept the hope of a free France alive. They provided intelligence to the Allies, sabotaged German facilities, and smuggled downed airmen and escaped POWs to safety.

The risks were incredibly high, and many Resistance members met horrible deaths at the hands of the Nazi regime. But their numbers kept growing, and by June of 1944, 100,000 Resistance members were waiting to rise up.

From the start, the Resistance had received support from elsewhere in the Allied camp. Britain’s Special Operations Executive (SOE), America’s Office of Strategic Services (OSS), and the exiled Free French forces under General de Gaulle had all made efforts to strengthen the volunteer force. They had forged connections with existing Resistance cells, fostered the growth of new ones, and provided them with supplies.

Perhaps the most important support the Allies gave came in the form of radio sets. These allowed the Resistance to more effectively coordinate with the rest of the Allies and with each other. Central to this was Radio London, a propaganda station the Allies used to keep hope alive in Europe. By transmitting pre-arranged code phrases in the personal messages part of its broadcasts, Radio London let Resistance members know about specific events, such as supply drops.

Immediately before D-Day, the Allies sent in the Jedburgh teams; three-man groups of Allied soldiers who were parachuted into France with radio sets. They joined up with Resistance cells, supporting them in their work and bringing them under Allied military leadership.

The Americans and British couldn’t afford to entirely trust the Resistance or even the Free French. Therefore, they kept details of the plans for D-Day from these critical allies until the last minute. In the lead-up to D-Day, signals told the Resistance that something was coming. They were encouraged to launch attacks on specific types of targets to prepare the way. At the start of June, a signal told them that the invasion was imminent, but when and where remained a closely guarded secret.

The Resistance carried out several distinct but related operations around D-Day: • Plan Vert – sabotaging the railway system. • Plan Tortue – sabotaging the road network. • Plan Violet – destroying phone lines. • Plan Bleu – destroying power lines. • Plan Rouge – attacking German ammunition dumps. • Plan Noir – attacking enemy fuel depots. • Plan Jaune – attacking the command posts of the occupying forces.

Some of these plans went active in the weeks leading up to the invasion. Plan Vert was particularly effective. Together with an Allied bombing campaign, the Resistance destroyed 577 railroads and 1,500 locomotives, three-quarters of the trains available in northern France. As part of Tortue, they also destroyed 30 roads and, again with British bombers, 18 of the 24 bridges over the northern stretch of the River Seine.

These attacks on the transport network were crucial to the success of D-Day. With trains out of action and roads ruined, the Germans struggled to get reinforcements to the front. The work of the Resistance crippled any potential for a significant counter-attack.

So on the night of 5 June 1944, when the crucial message arrived from Radio London, they knew attack was coming and more importantly they were ready. This is what they waited for since 1940, it was time for for Plan Violet. Across the country, they sprang into action, cutting phone lines and attacking communications centres. 32 telecommunications sites were destroyed in these attacks.

Emboldened by the Allies’ arrival, many Resistance cells went on a war footing. They ambushed German troops heading for the front. In some towns and villages, they killed or drove out the occupying authorities.

Close to the Allied landings, some of these operations were carried out in coordination with the SOE and Jedburgh teams, or with paratroopers who had landed behind German lines. As the regular forces advanced, the Resistance rose up to help and to punish the occupiers who had oppressed them for the past four years.

Unfortunately, this ended badly for some groups. Far away from the newly arrived armies, they lacked the support they needed to survive now that they had revealed themselves. Some of these groups were forced on the run. Others were killed weeks before the Allies could reach them. French leaders encouraged them to stand down and return to guerrilla operations until regular forces reached them, in hopes of saving lives.

Having understood the meaning behind my friend’s cryptic message of Paul Verlaine’s poem gave me pause for thought as I reflected on the bravery and the sacrifices made by all who took part in D Day, both on the beaches and behind occupied enemy lines.

The nature of war always reveals the true nature of those who fight. War, someone said, is not human nature, but a habit. We tell the dead to rest in peace, when we should worry about the living to live in peace.

So I messaged back to ‘Lucy’, my witty ex-comrade in arms, and quoted a stanza from Paul Verlaine well known poem, Crimen Amoris.

I knew ‘Lucy’ would understand that I understood his message on this most solemn of days to commemorate the bravery and sacrifices of the Greatest Generation through the prism of our own shared experience of war in Afghanistan:

Nous avons tous trop souffert, anges et hommes, De ce conflit entre le Pire et le Mieux. Humilions, misérables que nous sommes, Tous nos élans dans le plus simple des voeux.**

Too greatly have we suffered, angels and men, In this endless war between the Worst and the Best, Humiliated, unhappy have we been In darkling flights by the simplest vows addressed. ***

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silvfyre-writings · 4 months

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I don't want to worry you (BSD Fanfic)

I think bramran is a fitting way to end the year, don't you?

I do believe that this will be my last fic of 2023 unless I can finish the other one that I'm working on, but uhhhhh, I don't think I will, so yeah, here we are!

I am so in love with this ship, and playing around with their dynamic is fun, and something I'm enjoying a lot!! And this was my first time writing from Bram's POV, so I think I did okay.

So without further ado, I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!! Leave a kudos or a comment or both as well!!!!

Bram stares at his phone with such an intense look that it’s a surprise that the device doesn’t catch on fire. He knows that staring at it won’t do anything, that it won’t make a new message appear on the screen no matter how desperately he wishes for it. He eyes the read nine days ago tag attached to the last message he’d sent, and tries not to worry. After all, his lover works hard at his job, and often forgets to reply when he gets focused, and normally Bram wouldn’t worry, but normally, Ranpo doesn’t send him one worded answers, or brush him off when he tries to organise a date, but recently, that’s what he’s been doing, and as such, Bram worries.

There are few things that he actually does worry about, mostly because it takes a lot to make him worry in the first place, but his lovers wellbeing is one thing that makes him worry a lot, hence why he’s been staring at his phone all day in the hopes of getting a response to the last message he sent: Ranpo, are you okay?

Bram tries not to worry, telling himself that Ranpo is fine, and that he’ll simply message him when he gets time; he remembers Ranpo telling him about a big case that’d come through, and that it was all hands on deck—even his. But it’s been nine days, and no matter how difficult a case is, Ranpo has never needed more than three to solve one. And sure, Bram could reach out to Ranpo’s friends and co-workers, but he doesn’t want to distract them from their work, doesn’t want to make them worry either since they already worry enough about their head detective.

He sighs, and checks his messages again, even though he knows that no new ones have come through, and his gut churns as he, once again, focuses on that nine day old tag, because it’s not normal, and although nothing about him and Ranpo is normal to begin with, their communication is the most normal thing about them, which is why Bram knows that something is up, and that perhaps, he shouldn’t wait any longer this time, that maybe he should be the one to take initiative this time.

It’s decided. He’ll go to the Agency and check to see if Ranpo is there, and if he isn’t, then he’ll stop by Ranpo’s home and check there.

Bram stands up, swipes his phone off the counter and strides over to the coatrack he’d been gifted by… someone—Dazai he thinks, but to be honest he isn’t sure, since it just turned up in his apartment one day without his knowledge—and pulls his coat off of it, and then tugs it on. Once he makes sure he has his keys, he leaves his apartment behind and sets off down the street. He has a vague idea of how to get to the Agency without using his phone as a navigation aid, no thanks to said Agency making him study the maps of Yokohama since he made the decision to stay.

A decision he was still adjusting to, but so far, hadn’t regretted it.

The walk to the Agency is peaceful, and gives Bram a chance to think over what he plans to do. His main goal of course, is to find out where Ranpo is and why he’s been ghosting him this entire time, but he also wants to do so in a way that doesn’t worry anyone else. Because if there’s one thing that Bram’s learnt since meeting Ranpo, it’s that the genius detective doesn’t like being fussed over, no matter what. Ranpo could be bleeding out, or suffering from some kind of plague, yet he would still insist that he’s fine—thankfully, his fellow detectives were on top of things, and did their best to stop Ranpo brushing them off, but sometimes, he did manage to fool them.

Before he knows it, he’s at the Agency, and climbing the stairs, only to run into the Agency’s doctor halfway up. Bram stops and stares at her, eyes widening just a little, and Yosano’s mouth drops open a little bit at the sight of him. “Bram, what brings you here? Is Ranpo alright?”

Yosano’s words cause Bram’s own question to die before he can even voice it, and he frowns, because why is she asking him about Ranpo? Ranpo’s been at work, hasn’t he? Bram thinks, and then elects to just speak the truth. “I haven’t seen Ranpo in two weeks, and I haven’t heard from him in nine days. He told me he had a case, so I assumed he would be here, working.”

Now it’s Yosano’s turn to frown, and she shakes her head slowly. “No… Ranpo called out sick a couple of weeks ago, said he’d be back once he felt better. We simply assumed he was staying with you while he got better.”

So Ranpo had lied to both Bram and his co-workers… but why? Were they in danger from a new threat, and Ranpo was trying to protect them? Was there something going on with Ranpo that he didn’t want those closest to him to know about? There were so many possibilities, and Bram couldn’t stop running through them in his head, trying to figure out which one is the most plausible. But not one possibility calls to him, which makes him think he’s wrong, but the churning in his gut makes him think he’s also on the right track.

“Is… there someone closer to Ranpo than either of us?” Bram asks after a moment of silence. He knows that Ranpo has people closer to him than just Bram—he knows that Yosano is one of them, and that the president of the Agency is another, but other than that, he has no clue. He in Ranpo are still in the ‘learning about each other’ stage of their relationship after all, it makes sense for him to not know everything yet.

“Well, there’s Fukuzawa—he’s known Ranpo since he was young after all.” Yosano brings a hand up to scratch at her chin in, deep in thought. “And well, me and the rest of the Agency, but we already established that that’s not helpful… maybe Poe? He’s a friend of Ranpo’s, and I know that Ranpo sometimes visits him.”

Bram nods, and files away the information for later. He feels like he’s been told this before, since the names feel familiar, and then a bit of guilt wells up inside him that he should already know this, but he squashes it down and blames it on the worry he’s feeling. “Would it be possible to speak to Fukuzawa?”

“Sure, he’s in his office. First door once you get up the stairs.” Yosano points behind her and then steps past him, calling over her shoulder. “Good luck, Bram!”

Her abrupt departure leaves Bram alone on the stairs, and he watches after the doctor until she disappears from sight, just blinking from how short and simple the conversation was. Usually conversations with any of the Agency members took several minutes—sometimes hours if stuck with certain members—and not… a minute. But no matter, the conversation had given him a starting point, and that was what mattered, so he turned on his heel and made his way up the stairs, spotting the office he was supposed to enter the moment he got to the top.

Bram paused outside the door, wondering for a moment if he was being too forward, and that he’s bothering someone who is busy just because he’s just a little worried, but once again, he squashes that feeling down, knocking on the door.

The door swings open after a few seconds, and reveals the man at the head of the Agency—and a man that Bram realises is familiar, and that he’s met before at a recent dinner that Ranpo had dragged him to; some kind of family dinner that Bram vaguely recalled as also serving as an introduction between him and one Fukuzawa Yukichi.

Fukuzawa is shorter than Bram, so he has to look down to meet the older mans eyes, and for minutes, the two stare at each other, with no words being spoken.

Bram is the one to break the silence, giving a polite bow as he’d been taught was custom. “I do not mean to disturb you, Fukuzawa, but I have come to ask you of something.”

“You wish to know of Ranpo’s whereabouts.” It’s not a question, but a statement, and Bram blinks, surprised that Fukuzawa is aware of what he’s after—which means the man also has the answer he’s seeking.

“I am. I haven’t heard from him in several days, and I am growing worried.”

Fukuzawa hums, his eyes closing as he thinks.

Bram simply waits patiently while he does.

After a while, Fukuzawa opens his eyes again. “He’s currently staying with me. He’s been… unwell lately, so I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“But you are here.” Bram says.

Fukuzawa nods. “Ranpo insisted I still come to work because he did not wish to worry anyone. I was about to leave to go and check on him, but I won’t begrudge you from going in my place if you would like to soothe your worry.”

“That would be much appreciated, thank you.”

Fukuzawa gives another nod before reaching into his sleeve to pull out a key and his phone. He holds out the key towards Bram, and taps away at his phone. “This is the key to my apartment, and I will text you the address—Ranpo gave me your number after dinner.”

Bram nods, and pulls his own phone out of his pocket once the message tone goes off. “Thank you. I will do my best.”

“I know you will, Bram.” Fukuzawa gives him a soft smile, one that makes Bram feel warm inside. “You care for Ranpo deeply, and that is something I appreciate.”

Bram didn’t know what he was expecting when he steps into Fukuzawa’s apartment, but total silence isn’t it. Fukuzawa had said that Ranpo was unwell, and Bram distinctly remembers the last time that Ranpo was sick; he’d laid on the couch, filled with complaints and glasses of juice, watching whatever was on the television at the time. And yet, here, there is no Ranpo in sight, no mess to even indicate that he’s even here in the first place. But he has to be, because that is what the Agency president had said, so Ranpo simply must be elsewhere in the apartment.

With that in mind, Bram steps further into the apartment, barely remembering to pull of his boots in time, and looks around. The apartment is neat and tidy, freshly cleaned from the looks of it, although there is a bottle of water, and a couple of what looks to be medicinal pills next to it. Underneath the bottle is a note that must’ve been written by Fukuzawa before he’d left that morning:

Take your medication please, Ranpo. You know it helps. I’ll be by to check on you at lunch.

- Fukuzawa

Bram studies the note, and then eyes off the water and medication, before grabbing both and continuing on his search for Ranpo.

It doesn’t take long to figure out where Ranpo is, since there are only two other rooms in the apartment, and only one of the doors is closed, which means that the younger detective must be there. First, Bram knocks on the door, but when he doesn’t get a response, he quietly opens it and steps into the darkened room, closing the door behind him with a click.

It takes a moment for Bram’s eyes to adjust to the darkness—not total darkness, because even though the curtains are drawn, there’s a light plugged into the wall, providing a glow that allows some visibility—but once they do, his attention is drawn immediately to the lump in the bed, currently drowning in blankets. Bram steps closer to the lump, making sure that he can be heard so as not to spook Ranpo when he sits on the edge of the bed. “Ranpo?”

The lump under the blanket jerks, and then shifts before a head slowly appears with tangled hair, and eyebags so heavy that it makes Ranpo look like someone has punched him in the face. Even his eyes, which are normally so green and bright, and full of life, look nothing more than decaying herbs as they seem to stare right through Bram, unblinking, until Ranpo lets out a sigh and drags the blankets back over his head. “Go away…”

Ranpo’s reaction stumps Bram, who has never seen his lover as anything other than cheerful and energetic, so he’s not entirely sure what he’s meant to do here.

But then Bram remembers Fukuzawa’s faith in him, and his determination returns full force—he needs to do good; he needs to be helpful; he needs to take care of Ranpo.

“I will not.” Bram says, reaching over to tug the blankets down until Ranpo’s face is visible again. “It’s been nine days since I last heard from you, so I got worried, and it seems like I was right to worry in the first place.”

Ranpo grunts, refusing to look his way again. “How did you even get in? Fukuzawa isn’t home.”

“I went to the Agency to see if you were there, because you told me you had a case.” Bram said, watching Ranpo’s head turn the tiniest bit to look at him. “I ran into Yosano, who directed me to Fukuzawa, who told me you were unwell, and then he gave me a key.”

“Of course he did.” Ranpo sighs, eyes disappearing from view again. “Well, you’ve seen me, so you can go now.”

“No, because something is wrong and I want to help.” Bram says and places the water on the bedside table next to an empty cup, and grabs the medicine from his pocket. He taps Ranpo on the shoulder, until Ranpo groans and just rolls over to face him. “These were on the kitchen bench when I got here, you should probably take them.”

Ranpo eyes the pills, and Bram turns to grab the water, holding both out to his lover. He watches the younger’s eyes flit from his hands to his face, a variety of emotions crossing it before resignation settles there, and he pushes himself onto his elbow to take them from Bram’s hands. Ranpo throws the medicine into his mouth, and swallows the pills with a mouthful of water; then the water is being pressed into Bram’s hands again, and Ranpo turns back to face the wall.

A silence falls between them, Bram using that moment to study Ranpo carefully. Aside from the bags under his eyes, and a pale complexion, there isn’t really anything that says Ranpo is sick; he’s not coughing and his skin is free of fever-sweat. Which leads him to think that whatever’s going on, it’s something else and being sick is just the coverup excuse. Injured? No, I’d smell blood if he was wounded. Maybe the illness is something else…?

In the end, Bram just decides to ask. “What’s wrong with you?”

Silence, and then a huff that could have been a laugh. “That’s a bit of a blunt question.”

“You told me you preferred me being blunt.” Bram shrugs.

Ranpo hums, but doesn’t say anything more, not even to answer Bram’s question, which he thinks means that he can continue with his observations.

“You do not seem to be sick in the way that you were the last time you were sick—”

“That’s because it’s not your usual sickness.” Ranpo interrupts, and then curls up into a tiny ball. “’m just a little bit sad, that’s all you need to know.”

“Ah, I understand.” And Bram did understand. After all, one doesn’t exactly handle just being a head and a body for so many years by being happy, and even before that, when the people of his homeland turned against him and called him a monster, no matter how many times he tried to tell them that he wasn’t the one responsible for their people dying, one wasn’t exactly happy about that, especially when it ended in your near death. And those were just the ones with reason; there’d also been times where, seemingly for no reason, he’d felt less inclined to getting out of bed that day.

So he did understand.

And it tugs at his heart that someone important to him is going through such a thing.

Bram stands from the bed, and in no more than a few seconds, he’s pulling all the blankets off of Ranpo and lifting him from the bed.

“Wha—hey! Put me down!” Despite his protests, Ranpo doesn’t try to fight him.

“No.” Bram says, adjusting his grip on Ranpo so he can carry Ranpo easier. The moment he does, arms come to wrap around his shoulders, and Ranpo hides his face into the crook of Bram’s neck.

“Please put me down.”

“No. You are suffering from… I think they call it depression now, so I will do what I can to help you deal with it easier, and that means taking care of your physical needs so you can fight the demons in your mind.”

Ranpo sighs and tightens his hold, but he doesn’t say anything as Bram carries him from the room, which is fine with him, since he would much rather Ranpo not fight him as he tries to help.

It’s silent between the two of them as Bram carries Ranpo into the bathroom—not after struggling to find it in the first place—and seats him on the edge of the toilet seat so that he can get the shower ready. Ranpo’s head droops where he sits, his hair hiding his face from view as the rest of his body trembles; it looks like it’s taking all the energy that Ranpo has left to stay upright, and it tugs at Bram. He steps away long enough to turn the shower on before returning to kneel in front of Ranpo, raising a hand to cup his lovers cheek, running a thumb over Ranpo’s cheek.

Ranpo’s eyes flit to him.

“You don’t need to do anything, alright?” Bram reassures, leaning up to press their foreheads together. “Just let me take care of you, and I’ll do the rest.”

For a moment, Ranpo stares at him, and then drops his head to rest on Bram’s shoulder. “… okay.”

Bram nods, pleased with Ranpo’s answer, and sets about doing as he said he would; helping. He pulls away slowly, and stands, gripping Ranpo’s arms with his own and guiding his lover to his feet. He continues to hold Ranpo up with one arm, and with the other, he unbuttons Ranpo’s shirt, and tugs it off the others body. Next come the pants, and it’s the only time Bram asks Ranpo to help, continuing to hold his love upright as he shrugs off his pants and the underwear underneath, and then, it’s time for the shower.

He doesn’t hesitate to step under the spray, ignoring how his clothes become soaked in an instant and stick to his skin because it’s not important. It’s much more important for him to take care of Ranpo right now, since his love has been struggling to take care of himself if the state of him is anything to go by. It makes Bram wonder what exactly Fukuzawa has been doing to try and help the situation, but he tries not to judge—in situations such as these where the person important to you is suffering, you simply do the best that you can, and sometimes that means taking each day as it comes. Depression is ugly at times, he knows this from experience, which is why he’s determined to try and help. Bram doesn’t expect to magically fix how Ranpo is feeling right now, but he hopes to make him feel a little better at least.

With that in mind, Bram guides Ranpo to sit on the floor of the shower, following him down to kneel behind him. He reaches behind him, grabbing blindly for the shampoo until his hands knock into the bottle and that of the conditioner beside it. It only takes him a second to decide on grabbing both, and brings them into his view; he elects to just squirt the shampoo straight onto Ranpo’s head, and begins to drag his nails through tangled black hair, taking care to get the tangles out in a way that won’t cause Ranpo any pain.

Ranpo lets out a sigh, and shifts to rest his head on his knees, eyes closed as he gives in to Bram’s ministrations. It’s hard to see his expression from here, but Bram imagines it to be a little content, but emotionless all the same.

“Tilt your head back.” Bram says once he’s finished, and places a hand on Ranpo’s forehead to encourage him into following his words. Then, he rinses out the shampoo and starts the process over again the conditioner.

Once that’s done, Bram stands and turns the water off before guiding Ranpo up again and helping him out of the shower. And like before, it’s done in silence, and Bram doesn’t break that silence as he grabs a towel and drapes it over Ranpo’s head. He starts to dry it, only to have Ranpo’s hands come up to grasp at his own.

“I can do this…” Ranpo says, looking up into Bram’s eyes. “You go get changed. Fukuzawa has spare yukata’s; he won’t mind if you borrow one.”

“You are sure?”

Ranpo nods.

“Alright.” Bram leaves Ranpo to finish off, going to hunt down a yukata and get out of his wet clothes. In hindsight, getting into the shower without getting undressed first was a poor decision, but Bram hadn’t exactly been thinking when he’d done it. But what’s done is done, and now all that’s left to do is get Ranpo fed, a task that seems simple enough considering how much the detective likes to eat on a daily basis, even if it is mostly sweets.

But that was when Ranpo was feeling good.

Because right now, Ranpo is refusing to eat anything that Bram offers him.

“Why not just some toast?” Bram suggests after having yet another meal shot down, now dressed in a fresh yukata that’s a tad too short for him, and he’s pulled his damp hair into a bun.

Ranpo pulls a face and shakes his head. “I’m not hungry…”

Bram hums, worried, because he’s pretty sure that Ranpo hasn’t eaten anything in recent days—it doesn’t take a genius to see that his love has lost weight since he last saw him—and while he’s resigned himself to not getting Ranpo to eat an actual meal when he feels as terrible as he does, he refuses to let Ranpo eat nothing. “What does Fukuzawa usually do when you aren’t hungry?”

The expression on Ranpo’s face tightens even more before it just disappears entirely and is replaced with defeat. Ranpo stretches out across the table. “He usually cuts up an apple… or any kind of fruit, really…”

“Apple it is then.” Bram moves towards the fridge, quickly finding the apples, and from there it only takes him a couple of minutes to slice it up and put it on a plate. He slides into the seat next to Ranpo and picks up one of the slices and holds it out. “Can I ask a question?”

“Yeah.” Ranpo shrugs, and after eyeing the slice of apple carefully, takes it and nibbles on it.

“You could have stayed with me if you were feeling like this, I would not have judged you, so why did you not tell me?”

For a while, Ranpo is silent, and Bram thinks that he’s not going to get an answer, but then Ranpo shrugs and begins to speak. “I don’t know. Didn’t want to burden you or worry you, I guess, so I just lied and hid.” Ranpo gives an empty laugh. “But I failed anyways.”

“I care about you.” Bram argues gently, choosing to be soft instead of blunt for a change. “So of course I was bound to worry when you stopped talking to me.”

Ranpo hums, and picks up another apple slice. “You don’t need to worry, I’ll be fine. I’m safe here.”

Bram understands the implication of the words without having to question them, and it makes sense why Ranpo chose to come to Fukuzawa rather than himself. Fukuzawa has known Ranpo for years after all, has probably seen this side of Ranpo many times over and knows exactly how to handle it, unlike Bram who is witnessing this side of the person he’s chosen to love, for the first time. And while he trusts Ranpo’s words when he says that he will be fine, Bram also wished that Ranpo would accept help just a little bit more; it might make these days more bearable.

“I understand that you come to Fukuzawa because he is familiar, and understands you best,” Bram begins to say, reaching over to draw Ranpo into a one-armed embrace, pressing his lips to Ranpo’s crown, “but I ask that the next time you feel this way, that you let me know. I want to help you when you cannot help yourself.”

Ranpo flushes, and turns to bury his face into Bram’s chest, hands coming up to clutch at the yukata he’s wearing. He makes a noise like he wants to say something, but then falls silent.

Bram doesn’t hesitate to wrap his other arm around Ranpo and draw him closer. “You don’t need to answer. I don’t expect one. Taking in what I say is enough.”

“… thank you.”

When Fukuzawa steps into the apartment late in the evening, he certainly didn’t expect it to be silent—well, he did, because his apartment’s been silent for the past two weeks—but somehow, the silence seems different this time, and he’s almost certain it’s because of Bram. He’s not sure what Ranpo’s boyfriend… partner… lover—he’s not entirely sure what the two have labelled themselves with if he’s being honest—has done since he sent him over, but he knows that something occurred here.

If not for the apple scraps on the bench, and the fact that Ranpo’s meds are gone from where he’d left them on his way out of the apartment that morning, then it would be the sheets that Fukuzawa had been trying to change for days, hanging on a rack, freshly washed along with two towels, that gave it away.

Quietly, he makes a beeline for Ranpo’s room, since neither he nor Bram are within his sights, and he’s rewarded when he opens the door and sees the two of them crammed into Ranpo’s too small bed, asleep. Fukuzawa’s lips twitch into a smile as he observes the way that Ranpo is curled against Bram’s chest whilst Bram holds him protectively; Ranpo’s head is tucked underneath Bram’s chin, and Fukuzawa can see from his spot that Ranpo’s hair has been washed, and he gives Bram a silent thanks.

Getting Ranpo into the shower when he was in the midst of a depressive episode was a battle that Fukuzawa seldom won, so he’s grateful that Bram’s somehow achieved that.

A noise from Ranpo catches his attention, and it sounds like he’s about to wake up, but then Bram’s arm moves to run up and down his back in a soothing manner, as if he’s had to do this before, and Ranpo falls silent, face softening back into sleep. Bram’s hand slows until it stops, but not before he tightens his grip on Ranpo.

Fukuzawa’s smile widens a little, and he carefully shuts the door as he leaves the two to sleep.

Love doesn’t cure all, but it can certainly help ease one’s pain, and that is what Fukuzawa clings to as he goes to make himself some tea.

Tea for three.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd fanfic #hurt/comfort #light angst #comfort #bramran #bram stoker #edogawa ranpo #writing #fanfic #depression

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that-stray-bird · 7 months

Text

The Outworld Melodia

Tired from days of toil, seeking ways to cope, Old friends greet with smiles, rekindling hope. Yet, as memories bloom from the days of yore, A ticking bomb sets off, and peace is no more.

Warnings: Dazai going missing. Mentions of being homeless, struggling with food, mentions of robbing, some fluff, wholesome things, and reader being done with bombs and shit.

Chapter 6

------------------------------------------

A yawn escaped you as you stretched your arms and shoulders. You heard pops and snaps and tried to relax to continue the task before you, which was writing and looking through some files. It was not the most exciting task, especially when you were failing to keep up a better sleeping schedule, so your interest and energy levels were not at their best.

"Has anyone seen Dazai? I can't find him at home or anywhere," Atsushi questioned, noticing the absence of the brunette-haired man, who usually would be up to cause Kunikida a headache or call someone to help him out of his latest suicide attempt.

“He’s probably down in some river again,” Kunikida responded while working on his computer. “Maybe he got himself stuck in jail,” Kenji said while admiring a pot of plant. “My guess is he’s off with a woman,” Ranpo added while seated in front of a window and probably eating more snacks.

“Aren’t you worried?” Atsushi questioned, rather stunned by their lack of care toward the suicidal man’s disappearance.

“That man's ability to avoid death works at nightmarish proficiency,” Kunikida stated. “Maybe after all the suicide attempts, he’s as lively as ever,” Kenji added.

You glanced at the gray-haired boy, who seemed really hesitant and worried about the agency’s suicidal maniac. “Give him a day or two…” you started. “Dazai can look after himself if he’s in trouble, and if he’s okay, he will appear sooner or later. If he doesn’t, then it's time to worry about him,” you said, trying to sound assuring. "Okay— if you say so," Atsushi said after listening to you.

Your eyes then notice a familiar face walking into the office. “Oh, hey! You’re finally out of the death bed!” you announced his presence to the others.

“Huh, looks like you’re back on your feet,” Kunikida stated. “Yeah…” Tanizaki rubbed the back of his head. “All thanks to Miss Yosano’s treatment,” he smiled.

“Of course…” Kunikida fixed his glasses. “How many times?” he asked, and Tanizaki became pale.

“Fou... four times," Tanizaki quivered on the ground like a traumatized child. You looked at the ginger with pity while Atsushi was still confused.

Your phone vibrated on your desk, showing a text message. You grabbed it to check and saw it was a message from an old friend.

"(Name)! Long time no see! I hope you have been faring well. Say, would you like to meet up and get some coffee? I have some news about your robber," – Yours truly, Markel.

From the mention of the robber, the fatigue you felt vanished completely, and you didn't waste a second to send a reply, agreeing to meet with him.

"Did something come up? You seem much more energized than seconds ago," Atsushi asked after noticing the sudden change in your mood. "Yeah. I got a text from a friend I hadn't seen in a while. He asked me to have coffee and share some news," you shared with a smile. "Oh, that's nice," Atsushi smiled back.

"Now, this is a surprise!" Yosano suddenly wrapped her hands around your shoulders. You nearly yelped from her sudden appearance and her weight against your back but didn’t mind it since you were used to her initiating physical contact.

"You usually avoid going out, and now here you are willing to go get coffee with... what's his name?" she leaned down to take a closer look at your phone. "Markel?" she grinned at you.

You rolled your eyes at her. "Markel is just a friend, Yosano. Don't entertain those ideas in your head," you said as you pushed your phone into your pocket and began cleaning up your desk. "And besides, having coffee with an old acquaintance is better than skulking about files and whatever Kunikida had added to my work list," you stated.

“Is it really okay for you to just leave suddenly?” Atsushi questioned. “It’s fine. Since Kunikida is not here anymore,” you replied. “What do you mean? He’s right—eh?!” Atsushi finally noticed the absence of three other people in the office, a habit they did to avoid whatever Yosano would get in her mind.

“By the way, Atsushi. I need someone to go shopping with, and since you’re the only one available,” Yosano said. Atsushi looked nervous. “Eh? Do I really have to?” he questioned. “It will be fine. We won’t be doing anything violent,” Yosano smiled. “Yosano… you’re scaring him,” you gave her a slight glare.

“Anyway, my destination is near the shopping center. Mind if I join you for the time being?” you asked. “Yes, please!” Atsushi replied without hesitation. “Oh, that would be wonderful indeed. Well, let’s not waste any time,” Yosano said as you all began leaving the agency.

You nudged Atsushi as you walked together. “Hey, you will be okay. Yosano might have a reputation, but she can be pleasant when you hang around enough. You just need to avoid asking too many questions and avoid accidental confrontation,” you explained. “Okay, I will.” Atsushi nodded.

“You know, I think this day will be a peaceful one, no drama, no Port Mafia, and especially no bombs. We already had too much of that this month,” you said. “I… I hope you’re right,” Atsushi replied as you left the agency.

—

You bid farewell to Atsushi and Yosano at the entrance of the shopping center and began making your way through the city. Yokohama was a large city, and usually, you do not dare to wander there alone, but luckily, you knew several different routes to the place that had helped you a lot in the past, Markel's music store, The Monedero's instruments.

The streets became familiar to you, and when you finally saw the shop and the cafe on the opposite side of the driveway – you noticed a familiar man waiting outside, dressed in a fine outfit and smoking a cigarette.

When he saw you, he took out his cigarette and grinned. "(Name)! Good to see you!" he declared as you approached him. "Hi, Markel. You look lively as ever," you greeted him.

"How have you been doing? Has the armed detective agency been treating you well? Has anything interesting happened during your time there?” Markel questioned.

“I’ve been doing okay, and the people there are very good to me. However, too many things had happened for me to share in a single sentence,” you replied, and he laughed.

“Well, let’s go inside and enjoy some coffee and simple delicacies while you tell me. I am very interested to know what you have experienced in these past years,” Markel patted you toward the cafe with a grin, and you entered without much thought.

—

With Markel’s insistence to buy for you, you two ordered coffee and some pastries before seating yourself at a table, sharing the latest news and rumors before finally receiving your orders from the waitress.

“Thank you, Markel, for buying these. You really didn’t have to since I’m no longer struggling with money. I have more than enough to buy my own things,” you took a sip from your coffee. “Then how about for old times' sake? I always had a soft spot for all of you,” Markel grinned with a dismissing hand. You smiled at his gesture.

“So, what did you find out about the robber?” you asked.

“Oh! I nearly forgot. One moment, please!” Markel took out his phone. You waited patiently as he then showed you a picture. “My friend a few days ago had a robbery incident. Now, I am not sure if this is the robber you are looking for, but my friend then said the little rat managed to escape by vanishing in thin air,” Markel explained as you stared at the picture, which was taken of a surveillance screen, and there on the screen was a hooded person, running away from the shop. “Now, that’s what got my attention and made me suspect if this is the world hopper you talked about,” he said, pulling his phone away.

“Of course, the robber managed to escape, and no one knows where,” Markel said with a dramatic sigh. “But I thought this would be something worth mentioning to you,” he glanced at you.

"Does your friend really have no idea where this robber might have vanished?" you questioned.

“Well, my friend was very pissed about the whole incident, so he’s already looking into it. He’s someone who doesn’t let these kinds of things go easily. But, I am not certain if he will be successful with his investigation,” Markel explained.

You remained silent for a moment, thinking.

"Thank you, Markel. This is the first clue I have heard in years," you stated.

"I wonder. (Name), you work in an agency filled with people, who are specialized in solving cases like murder and disappearances. Why haven’t you asked for their help?” Markel questioned with a curious look.

"They... don't know where I am from yet. I don’t know how they would react, but Dazai has been trying to probe the truth out of me since he has a hunch I am not telling everything," you revealed, holding your coffee.

"Dazai? Wasn't he that odd fellow Keiji and Tsukiko found stuck in the trash container behind the shop months ago?" Markel questioned,” If I remember correctly, he tried to jump off the roof,” he said.

You groaned at the memory. "Yeah. That Dazai," you confirmed.

"Not to mention. The Port Mafia had been trying to abduct the agency's newest member. He has an ability that allows him to turn into a white tiger. Someone had put a bounty over his head, and because of that, he hasn't been allowed much peace," you explained. "Oh, that is very unfortunate," Markel shared his pity. "Everyone knows if you end up as a target to those ruffians, they will not leave you alone," he added.

"I know this might be a lot to ask, but since you have more dealings even in illegal matters. Could you look out for who announced the bounty on my friend's head?" you asked. "I usually stay away from those matters unless I really have to, but if I end up finding something. I'll let you know," Markel said. "Thank you, Markel," you stated.

"Anytime, Chica. Remember that The Northern Light will always look out for their own,” Markel smiled. He then looked over your shoulder, and you heard the bell at the cafe’s door ring.

An arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulder and pulled you against another presence. "(Name)!" one of your old friends, Misaki, screamed and hugged you tightly. Momentarily, you struggled to breathe while patting her arm in a greeting. "It's been forever! Markel! Why didn't you say you invited (Name) over?!" she looked at him accusingly. Keiji and Tsukiko then walked over. Misaki let you free from her death grip.

"Sorry! She got excited when she saw (Name). Nice to see you again, (Name). How have you been doing?" Keiji asked. You smiled. "I've been doing okay. How about you?" you questioned.

“We have been doing well, though it’s been more quiet since you left,” Keiji answered. “It’s really good to see again, (Name),” Tsukiko smiled. You looked at her with a fond smile. “Me too, Tsuki,” you said.

"Hey! You should consider visiting us more often!" Misaki ruffled your hair, and you awkwardly chuckled. "That would be a wonderful idea! (Name), if you're interested, I have some places and gigs for your skills," Markel smiled.

“I… think about it,” you said.

"Oh yeah, you became a member of the Armed Detective Agency. You got to tell us all about them. Are they really ability users like us? What kind of actions have you seen?!" Misaki asked as Tsukiko sat beside her and Keiji beside Markel. "Yes, they are ability users, but I prefer to avoid unnecessary action,” you answered. "Oh, come on! Tell us more," Misaki begged. "If you don't mind. I would be interested to know too," Tsukiko said with a curious gaze.

"Well..." you looked at all of them. They all looked back at you with eager and curious gazes, and Markel was just sitting in the corner, obviously not planning to help you out of the spotlight. "I guess I can," you relented.

"Yes! Tell us everything!" Misaki nudged at you. "Okay, calm down. Where should I start... Okay, here's what happened last month..." You started talking about past events. Your former boss and friends listened, asking questions from here and then while enjoying coffee and pastries with you. Your visit lasted longer than planned, but you didn’t mind since it felt nice conversing with them after such a long time.

—

You walked down the streets. After conversing and promising to keep in contact with your old friends, you were in high spirits. What you once thought would be a gloomy day had transformed into a truly good one.

You used to wander alone, traveling from city to city, desperately trying to keep yourself fed by performing with your violin as a street artist. You were homeless, and by fate, you were found by Markel, who was amazed by your talent and decided to take you in, introducing you to your friends.

Your friends welcomed you with open arms, and together, you formed a band called The Northern Light. You couldn't thank them enough for the support they had given you. They were ability users as well and part of a bigger community that was full of warm-hearted people. They were the first to introduce you to the world of ability users when you discovered your ability for the first time.

You glanced at the picture you had asked Markel to share with you. Several thoughts ran through your mind as you tried to find similarities between the robber and the one who brought you into this world.

It was unclear, but it was the first clue.

Your goal to find them might be a desperate one. The robber could be anywhere since they had the ability to travel between worlds, and you knew nothing about them, except that they wore a hood and stole your wallet.

Markel's words about asking for the agency's help lingered in your mind. Should you reveal the truth and ask for their help? It would definitely help stop Dazai from nagging you for good. But what if they call you a liar? What if they don’t react well like you hoped? What if they start treating you like a delusional?

Releasing a sigh, you put your phone away. Too many thoughts– you will think about it once you have to cross that bridge.

You started your journey back to the agency, but then your ears caught the sound of a train, and a huge explosion happened at the train track. Stopping in your tracks, you watched as the cloud of smoke cleared up and noticed the state of the train. It looked like it had been completely ravaged by bombs. Weren’t Atsuhi and Yosano supposed to be on that train?

In the distance, you could notice two figures floating above the water after the bomb went off.

“Oh, come on!” you groaned in rising frustration.

It was the third time Yokohama had been targeted by bombs. Couldn't the Port Mafia or other crime organizations come up with something different once in a while?

#bsd x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #anime #bsd x modern reader #various x reader #the outworld melodia

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undermycoat · 8 months

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just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

#cupid de bunny #uhh tw daddy issues?#this prolly isnt the most pc ramble.. sorry

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resowrites · 2 years

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We Were The Better Kind - a Lloyd Hansen oneshot.

Summary: Lloyd Hansen is now one of the most feared and revered contract killers in the world. But after a particularly hard day at work, he reminisces on where it all began…

Pairings: AU!Lloyd Hansen x OC!Maria

Warnings: NSFW, 18+only MINORS DNI, angst, language, kidnap, interrogation, abuse, torture, humiliation, waterboarding, violence, threatening behaviour, murder/mention of death, mention of blood, adult/dark themes, misogyny, lightly proofread.

WC: 4324

A/N: My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! No copyright infringement intended, gifs/pics not my own, my asks are open so please feel free to message me your requests/questions/critiques. Please also message me if you want to be added to the taglist. I hope you all enjoy!

We Were The Better Kind - a Lloyd Hansen oneshot.

Lloyd sat comfortably in his armchair, a drink in hand and the fire roaring loudly. It had been a long day and all he wanted to do was rest. He'd managed to get the intel from the target he'd been torturing all afternoon. It took a more ingenious method on this occasion but as he often found, persistence was key. As was usually the case on these cold, December evenings, his mind flit back to how it all began. He wasn't a sentimental man, not by any means, but even he was surprised at the turn his life had taken.

He had no intention of working for the government. He'd majored in football, and fully expected to turn pro when he and two of his friends were approached one hot summer's afternoon and offered the opportunity to train for the CIA. Lloyd had been benched almost the entire season recovering from a foot injury, so he saw no harm in giving the training a go. Despite being in peak physical condition already, it was a lot more full on than expected, especially the theoretical work. Although he considered himself shrewd, he wasn't the academic sort, and some of the more technical training threw him for a loop at times.

But Lloyd was determined to do his best, his supervisors thought he showed great promise and would have a distinguished career if he applied himself. That was certainly the goal throughout his first four months on the job. He remembered the morning of the mission that changed everything like it had happened only yesterday. He remembered pressing his suit and coiffing his hair, even giving his shoes an extra shine though, for the particular job he was about to partake in, it wouldn't really matter.

His particular team had almost captured one of the most notorious criminals their country had ever seen. Far more deadly and scheming than the mob lords on their lists and even internationally, Carlos Mondalez was both well known and feared. From humble beginnings as a drug dealer on the streets of Buenos Aires, Mondalez now operated a multi-billion dollar arms trade and sold on whatever intel or data he could get his hands on. Although they'd missed the opportunity to bring him in after a six year chase, they had managed to capture his girlfriend, an American woman fifteen years his junior named Maria.

Except she was suspected to be far more than just a girlfriend. Apparently, Maria had planned and orchestrated most of Mondalez's major deals and was at least partially responsible for his now considerable wealth. The CIA suspected she was agency trained, though without interrogation this would be hard to prove. Lloyd's team, headed up by his supervisor Harold Finch, had been read into the case and permitted to employ 'enhanced interrogation techniques.' What this actually meant was that they'd be allowed to systematically torture Maria using methods otherwise employed in remote facilities such as Guantanamo Bay.

Harold Finch, a hardened, long serving officer who didn't suffer fools and had about as much patience to match, was especially looking forward to the task. There were rumblings that Finch had gone off the book many a time during his long career and this made newer members of the team, like Lloyd, especially nervous. He didn't know what granted Finch that much power, or what it was he knew, but he definitely didn't want to get on the wrong side of him. Much of Finch's team felt the same way, he was a hard taskmaster and didn't tolerate even the slightest indiscretions. Many a time he sent home officers home for being tardy or even wearing creased suits. He took his job incredibly seriously and that was at least one quality Lloyd did admire.

He remembered how cold the building was that morning. Of course, now that the 'official' preliminary interviews had taken place and Maria had been as tight lipped as a clam, she'd been moved to another facility that was regularly used to detain their more important captives. Lloyd remembered trailing after Finch with his hands behind his back, wishing he'd worn a heavier coat. The building used to be a meat packing facility and as such was used to being kept at low temperatures to prepare and store raw meat. He couldn't help but note the irony, the building's purpose really hadn't changed that much at all. When they finally came upon Maria's cell, he was shocked to see her being led out in nothing more than a thin tabard that didn't even cover her knees.

She was exceptionally beautiful but then they'd all been warned ahead of time. But most of what he'd read about her was far less conclusive. They still had no idea of any prior affiliations or even her educational background. She knew more than one language and appeared to have excellent reasoning and mathematical ability. So far, so predictable, thought Lloyd. To move in the sort of circles Mandalez operated, one had to have above average qualities. What concerned them most, especially Finch, was her loyalty. They'd promised her a new life in witness protection if she agreed to give them the information they needed. But Maria simply wouldn't play ball. She'd been cross examined until Finch's colleagues were blue in the face.

So this was to be the next step. With little information even linking her to Mondalez, they already had a tenuous grasp on the situation, but Finch always got results and he was certain this time would be no different. Everybody has a breaking point, they just hadn't found Maria's yet. Lloyd was tasked mainly with observing and assisting with the techniques used where necessary. He was still very green and not overly looking forward to seeing a helpless woman battle the will - and cruelty - that he knew his agency was capable of. Yet he also knew people like Mondalez had caused almost limitless suffering for the poor unfortunates of the world. Thanks to him, Argentina's drug trafficking and gang violence had reached critical condition and much was the same in many of the world's more vulnerable populations.

Still, to look at her as she was led to a large, sparsely furnished room, he could hardly believe she was some criminal mastermind. Already he could see she'd been starved and sleep deprived, her pale face and purple eyes didn't signify a well kept prisoner. Maria was marched towards a desk in the middle of the floor and shoved onto a hard metal seat. Lopez, one of Finch's more experienced officers, then shoved her into the edge of the desk which caused the chair to scrap loudly against the floor.

"Well Maria, I'm sorry it's come to this I really am, but you're not leaving us much choice are you?" Finch lazily opened her file and glanced down at a couple of sentences towards the top of the first document. "You won't tell us how you met Mondalez, how long you were associated, or just how much you were involved in his business. So, we're gunna cut to the chase… unless you tell us where he is or at least where you suspect he's gone, and why, you'll be tortured for the foreseeable future. How does that sound?" He didn't even bother to look at her, instead, he spoke as though he was a waiter reading the day's specials. Maria said nothing but quietly cleared her throat. Finch pursed his lips and snapped his fingers in Lopez's direction. "Force her into position."

With that, Lopez dragged her from the table and practically kicked her to an empty spot on the floor. She was then forced to squat on her feet with her hands tied behind her back and her eyes blindfolded. It was a difficult position to hold even for several minutes, but Finch was determined to conduct the rest of that morning's interview that way. Maria made no noise at all. She didn't whimper or whine, she didn't even grunt as her legs already began to shake with the strain.

"Alright Maria, now that you're all set up, let's discuss the idiocy of your little plan. Here you are, bound and gagged, while the man you supposedly love is far away without a care in the world. He's made no attempt to contact us or negotiate for your release. You're as good as dead to him. So why defend someone who doesn't give a fuck about you hmm?" Finch stood in front of her with his legs splayed and his chest stuck out proudly. Lloyd noticed that he seemed to be enjoying himself, though he personally couldn't see what was so enjoyable about a vulnerable woman cowering on the ground.

Eventually, Maria collapsed on her side and panted quietly though she continued ignoring Finch's questions. Becoming more and more fed up, he decided to try another tactic. Again Lopez pulled her to her feet, keeping her hand restraints and blindfold in place, and led her to another small but much colder room. Lloyd noticed the drain on the floor and looked up to see an otherwise blank ceiling. What on earth did Finch have in mind next? He didn't have to wait long to find out, he ordered him to strip Maria naked and suspend her tied hands from a hook on the ceiling. Lloyd did as he was told though he tried to be as gentle as he could. He didn't look her in the eyes though he thought he could sense her trying to make eye contact with him several times.

Her body was in a similarly bad state, he could see the faint outlines of lash marks and many ugly, black bruises. In all honesty, she'd gotten off easy until now, Lloyd had already witnessed many detainees injured far worse for a lot less. He felt a particular uneasiness about this line of treatment being conducted against a woman though. He tried to remind himself that she was just as much a hardened criminal as their other prisoners, capable of the same treachery and diabolical behaviour. Maria coughed as a gust of cold air flew in through the barred, but open window. Lloyd felt freezing in a three piece suit and coat, so God only knows how she was managing completely naked. When she was finished being undressed, Finch started to unfurl what appeared to be ropes at first.

It was in fact a hose and his objective now was to blast Maria with a harsh jet of freezing cold water until she begged them to stop. She screamed as the first salvo hit her skin and stung worse than being knifed over and over in the back. Finch would stop after thirty seconds and question whether she was ready to tell them what they wanted to know. But she continued her silence, that was until the hose started up again and she yelled in agony. After another half an hour of this exercise, Finch was again losing his patience and threw the hose to the floor in a fit. He walked swiftly towards her and struck her hard across the face. His ring must have caught her cheekbone as large amounts of blood began streaking down the side of her face.

"Alright enough you stubborn little bitch… tell me what I want to know or you're going to regret it. I'll leave you here all goddamn night if I have to!" He'd now grabbed her weary, bloody face and was bending so low she could feel his spit hitting her cheeks. She took a deep breath and screwed her eyes shut, determined not to make eye contact. Finch was close to blowing his top and quickly turned toward Lloyd.

"Cut her down, I've got a much better use for the hose…" Lloyd gulped but silently followed his orders, taking care to be as gentle as he could with Maria's exhausted and visibly shaking body. He had to help hold her upright while Finch ordered Lopez to bring something else to the room. He couldn't overhear what it was exactly, but knowing Finch, she was probably about to regret not submitting to his earlier line of questioning. Carefully and without Finch seeing, Lloyd placed his hand gently on her lower back in support. He could feel her shudder at his touch.

It turns out Maria was indeed foolish for not caving in. Lopez had dragged in a tilted wooded platform that Lloyd immediately recognised from his textbooks. This time, however, he was ordered to strap her down and as he was being carefully watched by Finch, he wasn't able to take as much care of her aching wrists and ankles. Lopez was then ordered to wrap her face in a thick cloth and Lloyd regretted not being able to perform this particular task himself though he wasn't sure how he could have somehow made it easier for her. It was at this point that he started having doubts. They'd catch Mondalez in time, no one was able to run from the government forever, so surely whatever information she had wasn't worth this degree of extraction. He wanted to say something to his boss and even went so far as to look at him a couple of times. But what could he have said?

It didn't take long for Maria to start panicking, she stoically took the first two bursts of water directly to her face with as minimum fuss as she could muster. But then she started writhing in agony, her naked limbs flailing uncomfortably as she was slowly but surely being drowned. As before, Finch gave her multiple opportunities to confess what she knew about her boyfriend's whereabouts. But she could only manage to cough and splutter in response. Lloyd knew then that the situation was hopeless. She was clearly prepared to die for Mondalez, and no amount of inhumane treatment was going to change that. Out the corner of his eye, he could see Finch turning a gradually deeper shade of red. In fairness, most people didn't hold out as long as Maria but Finch was not a man accustomed to failure. He'd hold out as long as she did, whether that meant several more hours or weeks, if necessary. Finally, she'd grown suspiciously quiet and Finch ordered Lopez to revive her if necessary. Instead, it turns out she was just playing possum and when Lopez removed the cloth from her face, she swiftly spat in his eye. Lloyd tried desperately to hide a smirk.

"You dirty little bitch…" Lopez looked to Finch who nodded his permission. He then smiled back down at her and punched her right between the eyes. That left her out cold and for the first time since they began, Lloyd breathed a sigh of relief. They'd have to resume their interrogations the following day and at least that would give her some time to recover and rethink her obstinance. Lloyd made a move to untie her from the bench but when he hoisted her into his arms, Finch bellowed at him to put her back onto the floor. Once lying there, he kicked her sharply in the side, eliciting a strangled moan from her throat. Lloyd stared at him in equal parts confusion and horror.

"That bitch isn't to leave this room, nor is she to be fed, watered, or even dressed. Let her spend the night freezing her perky little tits off, maybe she'll then think twice about assaulting my god damn guards…" He then ordered Lloyd to keep watch until that evening when Lopez would come to relieve him. The two men hurried out of the room with Finch promising to get Lopez, who was still rubbing his eye, a large drink. Once they'd left, Lloyd quickly ran into the other room to fetch her clothes. He had no intention of dressing her again, but he did want to dry her off as best he could. The room the pair were in had no cameras, even the CIA wouldn't risk that, but he knew someone would come to check on them eventually. He had to be quick then, and once he'd finished drying her off, he wrapped her in his coat. He’d leave her to sleep off her pain for the next few hours.

Eventually she began to stir and Lloyd pulled her up by her shoulders. It took several minutes but she eventually came round. Her eyes were already swelling up though he felt the bridge of her nose and determined that it wasn't broken. When she fully came too, she quickly pushed him away, shocked that he was kneeling beside her and putting his hands on her face.

"H-hey… what the fuck are you doing?" But he just motioned for her to stay quiet.

"Be quiet, or you'll alert the rest of the guards." Maria blinked at him a couple of times, still heavily confused about what was happening. Lloyd sighed and wrapped his coat around her tighter, sensing her vulnerability at being sat naked on the floor. When she was fully covered, he laid her back down and bundled her now damp uniform behind her head as a pillow. She breathed a sigh of relief and took a moment to gather her thoughts.

"So what's happening now? Are you playing good cop or something?" Lloyd smirked but said nothing, instead, he checked his watch and tried to puzzle out when another guard would come to check on them both.

"Hardly, I'm to watch over you until I’m relieved me this evening." At this, her eyes hardened and her mouth set in a frown. But he was determined to keep her talking.

"You know you were pretty impressive back there, do I gather you've been waterboarded before?" She squinted her eyes at him as though she was struggling to see his face clearly.

"What's the matter? Vision a little blurry?" Maria scoffed and let her head roll to the side on her makeshift pillow.

"Well, wouldn't yours be?" Lloyd chuckled and considered her for a moment. They must have been around the same age and yet their lives had already taken significantly different paths.

"Well, that's what you get for hocking a loogie." He smiled at her again but she was staring at the ceiling, deep in thought.

"You know, he's not gunna stop. He'll kill you if necessary and sooner rather than later. Trust me… you don't wanna piss him off." Maria furrowed her brow and looked at him incredulously.

"You think I'm frightened of your boss?" Her voice was hoarse, he didn't know when she last had a drink.

"No, no… you don't seem frightened of anything." He wiped down his jacket sleeves and she couldn't help but notice the hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Why won't you just give him what he wants? Is Mondalez that important to you?" He didn't expect her to answer so when she cleared her throat and motioned for him to help her sit up, he was surprised at how complaint she was now being.

"No… he's not. But I was prepared for this outcome as was he. He knows his days are numbered." Lloyd could see from her eyes that she was sincere.

"So why get involved with someone like that, to begin with? You clearly have a lot of skills, they would have been put to better use elsewhere." At this Maria scoffed again and rolled her eyes.

"Before I met Mondalez I was a nobody, a pregnant teenage runaway fleeing an abusive stepfather with no money and no future. He helped me get an abortion and trusted me to learn his business despite my lack of experience. I don't know where I would have ended up without him." Lloyd shook his head unconvinced.

"That doesn't excuse your line of work, crime is crime no matter the personal motivation or reward." She then tried to meet his eyes, determined to get through to him.

"And aren't crimes being committed here? Against me and all the other prisoners? Look, to be honest, I know nothing of the true extent of Carlos's business. What I did for him amounted to very little in the end and wouldn't provide you all with any new evidence." She winced as a surge of pain ran up her left side. Lloyd placed the palm of his hand against her waist and applied pressure.

"Thank you." She looked up wearily into his cold blue eyes and a thought seemed to flash across her eyes.

"Tell me, Mister…" She waited for him to provide his name but he simply smiled and shook his head.

"Well, no matter. Tell me Mister Blue Eyes, what led you to the CIA?" Lloyd bit his lower lip and wondered if he should answer her. But then he'd already questioned her a lot, it was only fair he gave some information in return.

"Happenstance mainly, I went to college to play football…" She looked at him in surprise but said nothing. Several moments passed in silence. The wind outside was gathering speed and left them both shivering on the floor.

"Much the same as myself then. It was circumstance that led me into Carlos's life and it's circumstance that led me out of it." She gazed towards her feet, once again deep in thought. Lloyd wanted to say something but decided against it.

"Do me a favour though Mister Blue Eyes, whatever the reasons for your future decisions… stick to them. Integrity doesn't count for much in this life, but it's really all we have. Prince or pauper, lead your life with intention and leave the rest to fate. You won't have any regrets…" Maria smiled at him weakly before closing her eyes, intending to rest before whatever Lopez had in store for her that evening. But Lloyd couldn't help himself.

"So you don't regret getting mixed up with Mondalez? You know, someone like you could have had it easy…" He looked away from her shyly and she could have sworn he was blushing. Again she sat up and rested a hand gently on the side of his face. He turned to look at her earnestly.

"Oh Mister Blue Eyes, don't feel sad for me. I've had a great life, I had the freedom to do as I pleased and I took full advantage of it." She then winked at him which caused Lloyd to blush even harder.

"So you really loved him?" Maria tilted her head and looked at him almost pityingly.

"Of course, and I hope you find someone you can devote yourself to as well. No matter how we behave, love is always our salvation. Don't close yourself off to it." He nodded slowly and she smiled, glad to have finally had the chance for a normal, human discussion. He wanted to respond or do something to help her at that moment. But Maria seemed sanguine about whatever fate would befall her and Lloyd couldn't help but admire her fortitude. Nor could he stop himself from falling in love with her just the tiniest bit either.

Suddenly they heard footsteps approaching and he motioned for her to give back his coat and the rest of her clothes. By the time Michaels, another of Finch's guards, popped his head in the room, Lloyd was standing far away from Maria. He kept his head bowed and hands behind his back, as though he was struggling to stay awake. Maria had her back to them both as she lay on her side, simulating light snoring.

"Just an FYI, you’ll be relieved you in another ten minutes." Lloyd nodded the man away and looked at his watch, the whole day really had flown by.

The present day.

Lloyd let his empty glass fall to the table with a clunk. He was pleased with the pleasant warmth now spreading through his tired, aching limbs. At least now he'd have less trouble getting to sleep tonight. He felt his eyes flickering shut when suddenly one of his goons burst into his office.

"Mr. Hansen sir, we've got him, we've got Carlotto! Managed to locate his broad as well, when dya want them bought in?" Lloyd's eyes flung open and he coughed to clear his throat.

"I'll deal with Carlotto tomorrow morning, let the woman go though. She's not gunna tell us anything." His guard stared at him dumbfounded.

"What? You know we don't take women, besides they're never fountains of information when it counts. It'll be a waste of time and manpower bringing her in. Now get out of my sight, it's been a long day…" The guard mumbled his apologies and fled the room, leaving him to his thoughts. He stared over at his drink but decided against refilling it. He'd need to be sharp for tomorrow. His mind then roved back to Maria.

She was found dead in her cell the following morning. The autopsy declared it was suicide but from Lopez's insufferable smirking and arrogant swagger, he was sure he'd killed her. He handed in his resignation to Finch later that day. He figured if the CIA employed no greater morality in their line of work than any other agency, he may as well work independently. However it would be untrue to say Maria’s death hadn’t hardened him considerably. He was now one of the most brutal contractors in the world though he took no real pleasure anymore in his line of work. Mondalez was eventually captured and tortured to death, though not before handing over his empire to his illegitimate son. Lloyd couldn't help but pity Maria. She'd loved a man to death even though he continued whoring about and made no effort whatsoever to avenge her. Lloyd decided on another drink after all. As much as he continued to love Maria and always would, he wouldn't let the same fate befall him.

A/N: I hope you guys like this new Lloyd Hansen oneshot and please feel free to send me any more requests for stories/series. I love hearing from you all! Thanks so much for all your continued support and I hope you enjoy the story ~ Reso x

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