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creativecuteness · 3 months

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Total Slaughter Island (Rescue Rangers) Chapter 1: One Month Earlier

Alright the official chapter one, I actually had a lot of fun writing this one. Back stories and different POV's are always so much fun to write. I don't really have much to say other than thanks to all the people who are reading this story I hope you'll like the chapter and more insight on Dakota's relationship with Chris.

Dakota Natalie was a kindhearted, gentle, quiet, but compassionate young girl. Her long brown hair and trustworthy eyes made her more approachable than the busy, stressed-out, and, at times, cold and distant members of Fresh TV. Who were scrambling to make deadlines and get the live feed up and running for what is hoped to be the hottest new teenage reality show, Total Drama Island.

Ever since last year, Chris has been planning his show with crazy challenges, high stacks, and, of course, drama-filled rivalries. (And maybe a hint of romance if sparks flow.)

But the real kicker was the one million buckeroos (in Canadian currency, of course) that were offered to the contestant that lasted the longest. (In other words, the person who avoids elimination in a pool of twenty-one other teenagers.)

Dakota expected that money to not even last a week. No kid, no matter how responsible, should have that much money without a little supervision. If she won that prize, her father would store the money away for both a rainy day and college funds. (Not that she even planned to go to college.)

Even though she’s been working for Chris for about six months, she couldn’t say she truly enjoyed it. Sure, the job paid well, and she got to work alongside her dad; however, it was just too overwhelming; the constant hustle and bustle left her physical, social, and mental batteries drained.

It was just too much for her introverted personality; she couldn’t handle high-stress and high-pressure jobs. She desperately needed some quiet time to recharge and had been contemplating quitting for a while. However, it was a stable income most kids her age didn’t have, not to mention she’d have to find a new job to replace this one, and she had no idea what she even wanted to do for a living. So, until she got her life figured out, she'll hold her tongue and exhaustion and went back to work. If she could even call it that since things have been very slow today, it was meant to be the series premiere of Total Drama, and yet she hasn’t been called down for coffee requests, to take notes on viewer opinions, or to watch the live feed to make sure everything was in working order.

Heck, she hadn’t heard from Chris since yesterday, which wasn’t a call for concern in itself per se. Her relationship with her boss has soured a bit ever since he started working on this project. Cutting corners by finding the cheapest island money could buy and lying to everyone, stating the game show took place in a five-star resort. Heck, even the food Chef was cooking broke every health code imaginable.

To say the show was created by a mentally stable individual was the understatement of the century. The way the contents were treated seemed like Chris thought they were cartoon characters doomed to be thrust into slapstick gag after violent slapstick gag. And to Dakota, that mindset was a lawsuit waiting to happen, not that she was surprised.

She always had a sneaking suspicion that Chris was masking his true personality, and Dakota was pretty sure he didn’t notice these observations the young girl took note of. Whether Chris was consciously aware of these patterns of behavior did matter, as it just proved her point that Chris was not what he seemed. In fact, Dakota brought up the behavior to her friend Amy, who was studying to become a therapist, and she agreed that Chris may be a sociopath. Or was it Psychopath? Dakota could never remember the differences.

She glanced at the clock hanging overhead; it was almost midday, meaning the contestants should be participating in their first challenge already, but the cameras were still down. Where was Chris? Why did it seem the show had gone radio silent? And more importantly, what was going on?

She was tempted to call someone and ask if everything was alright when, speak of the devil, she heard panicked whispers and peeked out the door frame to see numerus cameramen, producers, interns, and Chris and Chef themselves. They were back eight weeks early. no campers in sight, and no prize money was distributed. (Or at least not to her knowledge.)

She strained to hear what they were discussing, praying they came back cause of camera failure, but what she was able to make out shook her to the core.

“That was a close one; I thought I was going to be next.” An intern breathed in relief but seemed pretty shaken.

“Yeah, forget that stupid island; I’d rather make it big in the city than stay on a floating death trap.” Another staff member chuckled uneasily; the air felt tense with fear, whatever happened seemed to give everyone a fright.

“What happened down there?” Dakota questioned, “And where’s the campers?” She continued listening, and what she heard next made her heart drop.

“Good job, everyone! phew, we just avoided certain disaster. Now, how about you wash up? I’ll make some calls and see if we can rangel a new setting some more teens and forget the whole murderer on the island thing ever happened.

Dakota’s eyes widened, murderer?! Was someone murdered while filming? She feared something like this would happen considering the challenges Chris laid out weren’t safety-inspected.

“Please don’t let it be a camper; please don’t let it be a camper.” She prayed, hoping it was just an intern and not one of the contestants. Speaking of which, where were they? The young girl hoped Chris wasn’t heartless enough to just leave without them, but of course, asking Chris to be selfless in a situation like that is wishful thinking.

"Uh, Chris, are you sure it was a good idea to leave the rest of the kids on the island? For all we know, the killer could still be there.” Chef spoke his concern,

“Nonsense, they should be fine." He brushed off with a giggle, “I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the campers had a secret bloodlust and took it out on poor Zeke. If the killer doesn’t kill them, starvation and a harsh winter will. Now, I don’t want a word of this getting out to the public if anyone asks; the show ran into technical difficulties and will no longer be filmed live. Understand?” He glared, to which everyone agreed, not wanting to lose their job.

“Good, now if we..." Dakota listened until Chris got out of earshot, unable to believe her ears. A murderer on Camp Wawanakwa? And someone named Zeke was killed?!

“Wait, who was Zeke again?” She thought, she never got the chance to meet the campers in person.

She was startled out of her thoughts when a fellow co-worker eating some chips spoke up, “What’s up, girl? You seem like you’ve seen a ghost."

Dakota looked at her friend, Emily Jones. She had dark brown hair, two strands tied into small pigtails, brown eyes, wore a pink striped shirt, black jeans, ankle-high boots, and a black jacket tied around her waist.

“Yeah, just surprised to see Chris back so soon.” She spoke, feeling uneasy about the whole thing: “I thought the show lasted eight weeks?”

“Oh, you didn’t get the memo?” Emily spoke up, sitting upright.

“What memo?”

“The show’s been canceled; apparently some kid named Ezekiel Miller kicked the bucket. I guess the real world was too much for a sheltered homeschooler.” She revealed it a bit too nonchalantly for her friend’s liking.

“Wait, what happened?!”

“Some surfer dude found his severed head under his bunk late last night, and his legs were found not long after. The network was so freaked out they pulled the show off the air before any damage could be done.”

“Did they see who killed him?”

“Nope, Homeschooler was last seen heading to the confessional when some maniac grabbed him by the scruff of his hoodie and dragged him deeper into the forest. When Zeke didn’t return, Chris sent someone to search for him and found his legs and a threatening message in the outhouse. Yeah, they ran off like a bunch of animals with their tails between their legs and hightailed it out of there.”

“Did they get that all on camera?”

“Most of it, thankfully, it wasn’t shown on air. They were more concerned with scenes that showed the whole group than one lowly, sexist teenager raised by misogynistic parents in the prairies. Oh, did I mention he’s been homeschooled his whole life?”

“Yeah, once or twice.” Dakota muttered, surprised by how Emily wasn’t bothered by this. “What about the other campers? Please tell me they’re safe."She hoped, but the next words her friend spoke shattered them immediately.

“Nope, those kids are dead meat. Chris and the crew bailed shortly after Zeke was found and left everyone else behind. Assuming the killer isn’t one of them, those campers are as good as dead.”

“No, they can’t be dead!” She yelled, feeling angry tears well up inside of her. “We can’t just sit back and let them die; we have to call the police, the coast guard, any..." Dakota abruptly stopped the last bit of Emily’s sentience, registering, “Wait, what do you mean assuming the killer isn’t one of them?”

“Exactly what I said.” She replied, “Isn’t it obvious? Someone must’ve gotten fed up with Ezekiel’s sexist remarks and confronted him about it. Being the socially oblivious person he is, he continued running his mouth, causing the blackened to become even more fed up until... She paused for dramatic effect, Dakota on the edge of her seat, as Emily explained her theory: “Wham! The murderer pulls out a weapon, and Homeschooler is no more. My money is on the delinquent; he’s been to juvie, ya know, and had a switchblade on him. I wouldn't put it past him to steal a meat cleaver from the kitchen.”

Emily returned to snacking, leaving her friend stunned silent. Was it possible? Could one of the campers be capable of doing this? To an innocent teenager who, yes, had backward views on society, but it wasn’t his fault, his parents filled his brain with misinformation.

“What are we going to do?” She asked quietly,

Emily turned to her friend and sighed sadly for once, showing empathy for the situation: "Nothing; the network doesn’t want to risk any more casualties, and getting authorities is out of the question. The island is undisclosed, and revealing that information will make us prime suspects, and according to the network and Chris, we can’t risk that. We spent a lot of money on this show’s success, and now that it’s canned, they don’t want to waste any more resources on some flimsy rescue mission. Their words not mine. Wait, where are you going?!”

Dakota got out of her seat, emotionally driven and demanding, answers, “I’m paying Chris a visit.” She spoke, straightening her denim jacket and pink dress. Fellow workers bid her good afternoon as she walked past, but they were ignored as she stormed down the halls until she reached a door with a large star-shaped dressing room sticker that read Chris McLean in black cursive letters. Dakota didn’t bother to knock as she barged in.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!" She exclaimed and automatically regretted not knocking. “Oh god! Ewgh! fluff!” She cursed, shielding her eyes, seeing Chris not only shirtless but fully orange.

“Oooo, someone used your tanning bed again?” She asked, the initial disgust fading away, seeing a bit of humor in the tanning incident. “Ha, that’s called Karma Bud." She thought smugly,

“Yep, and I have a pretty good idea who.” He said, “Also, I don’t remember giving you bragging privileges. What’s with the sudden outburst?"

Fully remembering why she came, Dakota put on her best defensive stance and confronted her boss. “Chris, I know what you did; you left twenty-one teenagers to die on a deserted island with no way out.”

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there. First of all, I didn’t abandon them; I just took a minor detour. Second of all, I didn’t leave anyone for dead. I have full intention on returning to rescue them.”

“Oh yeah, when?” She inquired, not convinced in the slightest,

Chris winced, knowing that lie wasn’t going to work. “Well, aren’t you just on a roll? Okay, yes, I’ll admit maybe I ran off when I saw that message and Ezekiel’s legs; maybe I should’ve warned the campers and got us all out of there. But I freaked out. Could you blame me?! The last thing I needed was my head on a platter, not to mention the time it’d take to get everyone out could’ve meant someone else’s life.”

"Yeah, well, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few!” Dakota snapped, “Now those teens are really gonna die and...! Have you no soul?!”

Chris winced again, trying to console an angry and emotional girl. “If this is what raising kids is like, I’m gonna rethink my answer on adopting.”

"Look, I know this is hard for you to understand. But sometimes you need to make sacrifices. Sure, a few people may get a bit ticked off, but one day they’ll get over it.”

“Not if it’s one of their children dying! Those kids had families, Chris; they’re the same age as me, and they could be dead in a week's time! Career or no career, they will never forgive you for this; you’re a coward, Chris! You saw danger and ran the moment it peaked its ugly head. You just cost innocent lives their whole future!” She yelled, fully crying now.

“Dakota, you know the network doesn’t want us...

"No, save it! I don’t care what the network wants; I want them home safe and sound and the killer brought to justice. I don’t want to be mixed up in your mistakes, and if you won’t rescue them, so help me, I will!” She yelled, slamming the door, leaving Chris dumbfounded. “Well, she took that just about as well as I expected.” He chuckled to himself. He underestimated Dakota’s kind heart; she felt sympathy and empathy extremely well, way better than most people here. It allowed her to connect with people’s issues and, at times, helped them relate. And considering the situation, she understood how everyone must be feeling. Scared, alone, and probably sacred for life.

“Ugh, what have I gotten myself into?” He groaned, knowing Dakota was going to be fighting tooth and nail to get those kids home. However, the network’s mind was set; they've convinced themselves that one of the campers killed Ezekiel, and while Chris would rather believe it himself, to believe the campers have a better chance at survival. Deep down, he knew he did a horrible, criminal, and overall unforgivable thing. And yet he did nothing to change it as Dakota desperately tried to get someone to rescue the remaining twenty-one campers. God, he didn’t want to think about how those numbers could be dwindling by the day.

It wasn’t long before word got out, and missing person reports were filed. In hindsight, they should have seen this coming. Word spread pretty quickly in this day and age. All it took was one loose-lipped employee, and the rest was history; the public outcry was overwhelmingly negative. People rallying together, demanding answers, and pressuring the network to fire Chris and save the teens, or at least reveal the information needed so authorities can handle it.

Sadly, the studio stayed tight-lipped, deciding not to get involved, much to everyone’s dismay.

Dakota walked into the office with a heavy heart. It has been one month since Ezekiel’s murder, and calls from distressed parents have become daily. Dakota lost count of how many times a parent or relative would call, asking for updates or a tiny sliver of information on the filming location. Unfortunately, not even Dakota or any employee knew the location of Camp Wawanakwa; only Chris, Chef, and a few higher-ups knew where the island was and didn’t want that information to get out of fear of being prime suspects.

“Ugh, they’re just a bunch of cowards—the whole lot of them.” Dakota thought bitterly, head down, and letting her muscle memory drag her to her office. “I can’t believe any of them; children are dying on a deserted island, and they don’t even have the decency to give the public peace of mind.”

The crestfallen girl moped into the room as Emily was reassuring another parent.

“Mrs. Anderson You have every right to be concerned for your son. No, worrying doesn't make you a bad mother; it’s completely normal in situations like these. Just know that we are doing everything we can to ensure he and everyone else comes back safely.” She reassured, “Yes, Mrs. Anderson? Yes, hello, yes, it appears you are going through a tunnel; I’m gonna have to let you go. Okay bye.” She sighed as she hung up.

“Who was that?”

Cody’s mother: She called me on her way to work, and it's the third time this week too.” Emily answered, resting her head in her arms, “We can’t keep living like this; we need to do something now before we get sued!”

“Oh, so now you're taking this seriously?"

The other glared, "Oh, don’t give me that look. You know I brush things off and use sarcasm to deal with stressful things; it’s my way of coping. Believe me when I say I am on your side."

The other didn’t speak; she just glared at her friend as an employee peeked inside. “Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but there’s a meeting starting. I wouldn’t skip this if I were you.” She spoke simply and left.

The two looked at each other and silently agreed, rushing to the meeting room praying for good news. Walking inside, it was deadly quiet; tensions were high as whispers were exchanged and concerns were expressed. Dakota locked eyes with Chris, who for once seemed remorseful. She quickly looked away, setting her gaze on the head C.E.O., who sighed deeply.

“It appears our decision to stay silent was a mistake.” He started, which many agreed with: “It has come to my attention that many parents have called out of both worry and dead set on finding their kids themselves through private investigators; some have even threatened legal action, which is something becoming increasingly harder to ignore. I have called you all here today because we need ideas. We are slowly running out of time, and staying silent is just making things worse. I believe it is time that we

“I know who the killer is!” Chef screamed bargaining into the room, much to everyone’s surprise and shock.

Honestly, I made Emily way too nonchalant about the whole killer on the island thing, but this is how she copes deep inside she's probably freaking out like everyone else, and I know Danganronpa came out in 2010 but Island of the Slaughter has some Danganronpa vibes, so I had to throw in the blackened reference. Also seems like Chef may have an idea who the killer of Wawanakwa is. But the question is does he? Find out next week when I post the last written chapter that I have backlogged. See ya on the flip side ;)

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lazytyphooncollector · 1 year

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Delete if not allowed but I feel like a lot of Rottmnt haters well their dislike for it I think isn't really justified nor valid at all. Most haters of Rise are the old school lovers and fans of Tmnt from the 80s and the 90s. Sure yeah it's different. Sure yeah some things have changed. Sure yeah a lot of characters looks and personalities are different but you can't really say you dislike it without giving it a chance. It's not bad at all. To me Rise the Tmnt cartoon only comes second to the 2003 cartoon. There's a lot of things about Rottmnt that I love and that I applaud them for for doing and breaking the mold and the norm. I admit this but I actually used to be a hater of Rottmnt before the show ever came out simply because of their animated designs. I never gave it a fair chance but then when the very first episode came out i immediately fell in love with it and was hooked and changed my tune real quick and regret ever saying I dislike it. The more I watched the episodes and then the masterpiece known as the Rottmnt movie I could relate and feel understand and sympathize with a lot of the characters mainly and mostly the Tmnt. I have mental health disabilities and Rottmnt namely Tmnt in general has been a great source of comfort joy positivity entertainment a passion and a hobby of mine. A lot of times when I've been put down disregarded and degraded from by strangers bullies on social media and in real life hell even my own family and I was in the darkness where I felt like there was no way out Rottmnt and Tmnt in general I credit with always bringing ne back up to the light cheering me up making me keep on going and say life is worth living and I'm never giving up. I matter in this world and im never gonna change who I am for anyone. I'm me and that's all I'll ever be and I love myself the way I am mental health issues and all I thank you Kevin Eastman and Tmnt for always keeping me going and grounded

@raph-red-fan @primroseprime2019 @mistyroselove @naya-queenzie @tulipvalley27 @nikitaboeve @lady-maria-the-wolf225 @lasttriptonyc @raphsgrl @rebellious-mutant @doctorelleth @jaenisamusculargurl @camibanani @darkhoodedvendetta-blog @immadollfacelove @kkloco @redhoods-daughter-from-hell @swagtreecrown @knobsshamanics @tamitaninja2007 @sweetshepherdslimeartisan @lovelylulu1 @rin-oroku @dasdummenutellabrot @chuu-u3 @kawaii-anime-life123 @cattonmilap @janet-the-dark-queen @michelangelokin @shortgremlinaxolotl @scarlettestitch @foreignbrunette @temenos-empath @skeezpyuff @xxcirus-masqueradexx @sketchnskribbles @yourgurlami1234 @izzytheturtleboomslang @luna-neko-oscure @lunar-corgimon @foulbonkcolorempath-blog @dangeroussweetsmusic @maddybeck01 @missannie1981 @ragnarockz

#tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt 2003 #rottmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt #tmnt 2016 #kevin eastman

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pageofheartdj · 1 year

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Hooboy, rant over ending comes again xD With some sass kjhjgf

Because NO, I can’t 24/7 pretend it’s even an okay ending for Collector.

The show tried its hardest to treat personal relationships and issues and trauma with respect and care. Yes, this a demon realm, yes witches are tougher. You can fight a detention demon but hunger games style challenge is not safe for children. No, the child soldier won’t have social experience(or good mental health) and they need to have friends their age and a phone. No, it’s shitty to neglect one daughter and smother another while also disregarding what she tells you.

And here we have a very naive and very unexperienced and very hurt child and instead of giving said child care(oh hey ANOTHER thing the show used to care about. when you need your people in your corner. they will help you learn and grow and mature and heal!!), they throw that child into space to do whatever in there.

Ah yes, mature. On their own. LIKE THEY WERE THIS ENTIRE TIME? Weird how they didn’t mature, huh. Oh but look, a few months with King and a DAY with Luz and BOOM. But yeah sure, being on their own toootally works. You just pray he won’t meet another Titan to trap him or another Belos to abuse him. Children are sooooo good at making meaninful life choices, that’s why they are considered incompetent, cause they are just like adults! And NO visiting ‘when he is in the area’ doesn’t WORK!

Someone can say, shut UP it’s a cartoon, who cares! I care! Up to this point the show was treating children as children. Heck! In Collector’s arc Collector is treated as a CHILD! But in the very end suddenly they are not a child?? And NO, you don’t let a child leave alone! It doesn’t matter if he can meet someone on some other planet, he can be just as much as manipulated! Children usually have, I dunno, trusted guardians to help them NOT to fall in bad situations?? Just because a child have OP powers(and he still was HURT two times!), doesn’t mean he is immune to all the psychological and emotianal damage!! Or it doesn’t matter??

I loved how the show was treating these things more seriously! Character’s mental state was more important and impactful! Little mistakes were making real damage! Bullying a friend won’t be fixed in a day, self-esteem issues don’t leave over a night!

But not here, suddenly it’s a whimsical fairytale!! Suddenly the child is totally capable of being on their own and making decisions and grow as a person. Hunter doesn’t need a guardian, he is 16, go live on your own!

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #the collector #when i am supposed to sleep i think how unfair the ending was for collector

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mittenskittensslay · 25 days

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Hi!

I'm doing a project for school, and I need to have some stories from real people to back up my point. My topic is representation in media and how it affects mental health. I was wondering if you had any stories about a movie/show that has helped your mental health or educated you on something? I know media and representation have really helped me to figure myself out and made me feel seen, so I wanted to do this topic because of that. I really need more stories from real people, so I'm asking people online and hoping some of them reply lol. Thank you!

Wow, thanks for asking me! When is your project due? I don't know when it is but I hope I replied fast enough and I hope this helps you! :D

Well, for me personally, the way The Owl House handles neurodiversity, and LGBTQ2S+, and disability is an eye-opening experience because it was previously unseen to this extent! Notable examples are all how all the characters are shown as no less! They don't have to be "normal" or fit in! What is normal, anyway? They're celebrated and valued for being wholeheartedly, shamelessly, and unapologetically their amazing, authentic selves! No matter who you are, you're valid, there's no normal and it's not frowned upon! The manner in which they're portrayed, they're so well written and that has helped people understand that they're actually neurodiverse, or LGBTQ2S+, has helped them reach out to others and seek for help when needed, myself included!

Luz struggles to fit in on Earth and Eda as well as King, Hooty, and the Collector have a hard time belonging on the Boiling Isles. However, by being open and accepting, they realize that "us weirdos gotta stick together!" to quote the Owl Lady, which is one of the pivotal, if not the main message of this show which is "You gotta be your own witch!" Also how "magic (literally) comes from the heart" it's one of the endless reasons why I love the Owl House so much and my love for it will never die.

The Owl House has allowed me to embrace myself, love myself wholeheartedly and practice more self-care. It's helped me come out of my shell and make friends thanks to the treasure it is that we fans cherish and its beautiful fandom that lets us form profound bonds by sharing this deep love and creating our own fan arts and fan fics. Luz teaches us and helps us, reminds us to be even more vulnerable, and spread sunshine and joy, love, goodness and kindness everywhere we go, to go with all our heart wherever we go! I love myself for being autistic and a genderfluid aroace lesbian even more now thanks to them. This cartoon has even aided me in realzing my sexuality and neurodiversity.

Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself." - Eda Clawthorne

"You know, you can't hide from your fears forever, which is why you've gotta get the jump on them. Give 'em a whack right in the face." - Eda Clawthorne

Please, do yourself a favor. Never hide. I've been different than others around me all my life and will proudly continue to do so, wearing it as a badge of honor because if you don't then you insult yourself, you don't live with integrity. Easier said than done but you've got to because if you're not you, then who are you? Never let the haters get you down. I relate to Luz and the others as being a proud outsider who found friends and found family also! Imagine if Luz and the others conformed. I have always found it difficult to be who I am, it doesn't always come out but Luz is so inspiring she's so herself, unique, and spontaneous in everything, makes us accept ourselves and that way I have never been happier to be me, you feel connection to the characters: they represent you, they're others just like you: this is a part of you and I love every part of you. Break free from toxicity and recognize it. Being understood is one of the best feelings. Eda accepting her curse has allowed me to accept every part of myself. It show people that LGBTQ2S+ exists and there's no need to be afraid. Change your life, you're not a tree that's stuck, find your tribe. Keeping things in is self destructive. "Does it have to be perfect?" like the most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles says again. True friendship is also shown, being there for each other. This show also tells us that we make the labels for ourselves, we define. It's how you feel, not trying to fit in the mold, you don't need to meet every single thing on a checklist or match all criteria. The labels are what they are precisely because every beautiful individual adds their own meaning and flavor to it.

Basically, to sum it all up, it portrays neurodiverse and LGBTQ2S+ folks accurately and most importantly in a way that people can relate to and feel good about themselves. For example, for me personally, it helped me open up more, embracing and expressing my true and best self, every day we get better and better. We become more social and actually truly connect with others deeply due to our shared love for the owl house which is usually hard for me to do as a high-functioning, self-advocating, and self-diagnosed autistic (or Aspie, though I don't use this label now since its no longer in use). It shatters stigma and stereotypes. It's simply groundbreaking. With love, and support, found friends, and family both biological and found, you can thrive, not just survive, and be loved, and accepted for exactly who you are nothing lees you're just weird enough to be the awesome you that you are. These and countless others are the feel good messages of this show.

Of course this essay wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Amity Blight! Almost everyone in the Owl House undergoes key character development and their life as they know it changes in the best possible way, no less than thanks to Luz Noceda, which is an astonishingly beautiful thing but I believe I can safely speak for many, if not all of us (also yours truly), when I say that Amity undergoes the most amazing and impressive character development I've ever seen so far! Goes without saying! She starts off being seen as a bully when in fact it is later revealed she never was. It's never taken for granted that Luz with the sunshine she is and spreads selflessly everywhere, helped Amity rediscover her true self. Amity understands and goes on a journey or self improvement. If that's not inspiring, then I don't know what it and I'm not exaggerating here! Amity does a lot of self work, recognised her mistakes and attempts to become a better friend to Luz pretty quickly.

Hm, I wonder if when Luz said, "I'm not a witch but I'm training hard to be one." and showed Amity the ball of light emerging from the light glyph, she was speaking to her essence and broke through/got through to her!

And then, when Amity said "remember to turn on the light" to Luz and saved her in WAD, she woke her up bc she reminded her that Luz is light, literally!

Luz helps Amity remember who she really is, to return to her true self, who she always has been deep down, not just sb trying to achieve ultimate status and Amity helps Luz remember that she's the light of everyone's life! To continue to be who they really are! They saw through each other! I think they also literally became each other - Amity became Luz's light and Luz was suffering with the same issues as Amity, thinking that she ruined everyone's lives which was definitely not true in both cases! Neither Luz nor Amity ruined everyone's lives, ofc! It was the complete opposite! And they did what one did for the other as I said above but reversed!

Bc Amity and Luz are essentially the same -both so positive, carefree (maybe not always but eventually and unafraid to be themselves), dorky, nerdy goofballs who are so kind and sweet and powerful and so much more and full of love! (But also different in their own unique way)!

Love and kindness always win in the end and we have them inside us! We are love and kindness themselves! We just need to give each other a chance!

Luz, Raine, Masha, The Collector, King, Papa Titan, Amity, Hunter, and basically everyone is probably on the spectrum so hats off to everyone and them. Eda helped me confirm my gayness, something I was already aware of before the Owl House. Same goes for the characters mentioned above: Luz as genderfluid; Raine, Masha and The Collector non-binary; Papa Titan as probably non-binary/agender genderfluid? (Feel free to correct me, sorry if I'm wrong)! Vee also (however, I don't think the creators have canonically confirmed whether she's/they're envy or demigirl or something similar but I'm assuming this headcanon respectfully and again, if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me and educate me because I believe we're all always stil learning! However, again because people are allowed to be truly themselves - as it should be -and not marginalized and hiding for that, we can thrive. I understood that I can actually be attracted to women (I already knew that before, I believe I even had a type already, Eda basically confirmed that or the feelings around that time just happened to coincidentally appear and feel more real not because necessarily because of their frequency and intensity because you can still be attracted to someone even if the attraction isn't always there and strong (hence my aroace label) whether it's frequent and or not intense. Aroace folks can feel or not feel love and attraction and want or not want a relationship and sometimes I have felt not wanting that but it's always very brief, I do want love, I'm too much of a hopeless romantic at heart not too! I also already knew i was genderfluid. I'm a cis woman, I've always mainly identified as a woman but I'm more than just that "label": its doesn't define me fully. It's broad and vague so I feel it fluctuates. I can be and express myself as any gender: no gender, both genders - its never fixed. Before however I always knew I wasn't straight but I wasn't sure if i was LGBTQ2S+. I used to think I was demi sexual, panromantic but it's exactly why all kinds of representation is vital! It's ok to be a late bloomer but if this cartoon existed earlier it would have helped. Dana Terrace herself claimed to be a late bloomer also. Speaking of which, a huge thank you to her and her crew for creating the Owl House! They changed our lives forever in the best possible way! The connection and love between us fans, whether casual viewers or die hard fans will always be priceless: this show means everything to me and always will!

There's a lot more that can be covered but the essay would go on far too long and I don't know the word limit for your project but I hope this is enough!

This is an awesome post I found Life lessons from TOH

#Helping out a mewtual with school project #You're welcome #hun! 😁🤗💕xo #Coming back to this post a few hours later #I hope I expanded enough on the points I made in the essay #Let me know if it requires more details and/or if you need any further help #Please don't hesitate to ask me 😊#Made some changes and added some further points #Couldn't resist 😜#Got more brain waves and just had to add more stuff!#I'll probably come back with more points later XD but feel free to use this #If you want #As it already is!

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 9 months

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hello! I once heard the opinion that the zutara fandom (the loudest and most toxic part of it, of course, we are not talking about normal people who just enjoy their ship) has features of cultist, sectarian thinking and organization. I haven't thought about it much, but recently a friend of mine who understands quite a lot about cults and sects and to whom I showed the most popular zutara blogs and their meta tags here, tumblr (I didn't push him on this idea, we were just chatting about fandoms) said that according to the type of thinking zutara's fandom has features of a religious cult. this thought seemed interesting to me. what do you think about it?

I'd say it's true, but it does not apply solely to Zutara, or even to the ATLA fandom.

I lost count of how many times I've seen some legit insane news here in Brazil about angry fans of some soccer team violently beating, or straight up murdering, people that were wearing the "wrong" t-shirt after a game.

Harry Potter had the weird thing with the Snape wives, and now has the current cult-like TERF bullshit JK Rowlling encourages on a daily basis.

One of my cousins is VERY into K-pop and told me some WILD shit about some idols literally have to sign contracts that forbid them from dating (or at least publicly dating) anyone because half of the marketing around their persona is "You, regular person, could totally date them!" and faced some ABSURD backlash, including death threats towards them and their partners, when they were revealed to be in a relationship.

Anything, no matter how mundane, can be used by some disturbed people to excuse/encourage awful behavior. It's usually a result of desperate, lonely people needing to find ANYTHING that makes them feel like they belong, are part of a group, of a community, to the point that they shut off from anything else and become obsessed. That kind of thing has always existed, but BOY, has the internet made it sooooooooooo much worse.

I mean, seriously, just look at the things the "extreme" zutara fans do.

Creating whole conspiracies to justify why their was totally canon until some evil authority screwed it over, lying about anything and everything that happened both in canon and in the making of the show, even going as far as creating fake "evidence" of some huge power struggle between Bryke and other writers (mainly Ehasz).

Harrassing, bullying, doxxing and threatening anyone that has a different opinion, and justifying their actions with "Oh, but the people were doing this to ship Kataang/Maiko, which means they're all raging mysogynists, rape apologists, and 100% against interracial relationships."

The constant claims of "Bryke are creepy pedos because they only pushed Kataang because they are attracted to Katara, a cartoon character, and thus are attracted to real-life 14-year-olds! That's even the real reason why Aang is bald! To look like one of them!" that are not only ridiculous but could EASILY lead to a lawsuit, and ignores the fact that Zutara, like any popular ship, has tons of smut of it even though both characters are underage - make it make sense!

And, of course, the classic "This bad behavior people accused some of us of is completely false! I didn't see it, so it didn't happen! Nobody here would do that! Never one of us! Must have been one of them, the evil fans of kataang/maiko/(insert any ship for either Zuko or Katara here)!"

Some of the bad apples in the Zutara fandom are just entitled assholes, but I'm also pretty sure that some of these people legit need to see a mental health professional. There's being passionate about a ship and being upset that it didn't happen, and then there's being downright delusional.

And before anyone tries to pull the ableism card on me: I've been through this shit. Thankfully I've never reached the point of ever harming anyone in any way, but I was a mentally ill child/teenager that just latched onto the media I liked, and it made it my whole life.

I had full on panic attacks because the power went out and I couldn't watch my favorite TV show, and I'd cry for DAYS when something bad happened to my favorite characters. I legit started showing signs of depression because one of my favorite bands had broken up, to the point that my parents were really fucking scared. I got FURIOUS at an annoying classmate in school who talked shit about my favorite singer, to the point that I legit had to get away from them as fast as humanly possible because I was three seconds away from starting a physical fight - again, all because a random kid whose opinion on literally anything else wouldn't have meant a damn thing to me.

That is not being passionate. That is not being a loyal fan. That is a clear sign that something is VERY wrong and that you need some help FAST. See a therapist, deal with whatever it is that is pushing you to act like that, THEN engage in fandom stuff as much as you want. But don't ever make this your whole personality.

#anti zutara #mental health #personal

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fanficmustread · 3 months

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Ive seen so many arguments for the shipping things in poppys playtime. I kinda get where all of you are coming from, but let me lay down some facts that we know from chapter 1,2, 3 and all the lore we've as a whole collected. So yes toys were made but the people in them didnt technically die, lived bc poppys typically contain opium, and then their memories were mostly wiped as they were immortalized as toys. Their organs? Intact and growing, as well as bones as we can clearly see with catnap. Not to mention we know they lived because if they died it would be a failed experiment. We see this when dead mice dont live in a failed experiment before. (Or at least from what i can remember i will probably go on a deep dive soon to find all of the lore once more.) The death dates are so the playtime co doesnt get idk sued or something. Better to say "We couldn't save him/her/them 🥺👉👈" then to say "We turned this kid from a kid to A CAT TOY!! 😎😎😎" 😭😭😭 Things we dont know are if their brains develop more as time goes by, personally i think they do because they went insane. (Dont stop reading here it gets better) Thats also why they can eat, and they need protein to grow probably, which is why i think catnap is also the way he is and dogday and poppy didnt get much, if any, substance. Now what we really should be thinking of isnt what age are they so we can ship them but more is it morally okay to ship the monsters?

Personally no, no its not. I agree that theyre 10 years older sure but i dont think they have the mental processing for a deep romantic relationship. Im not trying to be rude but they were stuck in a factory underground for practically their whole lifes. I just want them to be free and happy or to die peacefully because they obviously didnt get either no matter how you read the games. Not to mention the lack of health lessons for any of those things. Heck the lack of any real teachings and all, they dont know how to mow a lawn. Or how to fly a kite, these guys never experienced a soda called a surge yet they lived in that sodas life time. Stop judging people for what they do but like also think about what you're shipping and how you can make stuff not problematic. Also if you're looking for a human au i made one on my art account @artmustdraw anyones welcome to use it like a base for most any ship with the critters. Or even a base for their own au idc just give me a like and reblog if you use it at all lol. (Kissy and huggy are already married it it and i havent decided on what im doing with Mommy longlegs yet)

One last thing, the cartoon versions of the critters arent the monster versions. Think about it like this, the bigger bodies toys didnt have any part of making the cartoon except maybe inspiring it to be made and maybe watched some of the episodes. If the experiments were done pre cartoon. In the cartoon its safe to assume that theyre all adults due to having their own houses with no parents in sight. Rather then like an orphanage where a bunch of scientists are looking at you like youre a prime rib. (Do yall get my point? I hope so anyway thats the end of my rant lol)

#linkerambles #I dont ship the monsters from poppys playtime but if i did id think long and hard about it #well except kissy i do ship her with my player oc but she was also an adult when she was turned #poppy playtime #shiping debate #no ships are valid /j #idc what you people do leave me out of it XD #Please stop making catnap tiktok edits its weird #the monsters are clueless guys #where i take 10 or so minutes out of my day to complain about morallity then an age gap #also guys dont get super unhinged because theres gross stuff out there theres probably worse stuff #i get we're in the era of cencorship but it was a rule in the first place to warn you #anyway thanks poppy playtime fandom for your time dont do poppy flower expariments and have a good day

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opinated-user · 1 year

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Does Lily not understand that villains aren't real? Jeffrey Dahmer stans are stanning someone who 1. exists 2. killed real life, non-fictional human beings and 3. has left behind families of victims who will never be the same. No matter how much she hates some cartoon character or evil space wizard, no fan of a fictional make-believe not-real bad character is ever going to be as bad as someone who is a fan of a real-life really exists actually not fiction human being who hurt real, breathing, thinking, physically existing, non-fictional people.

Even as a little kid I knew that the kid who hit me at school was worse than the meanest cartoon out there. Because one is real and the other isn't.

She needs help. She really, truly needs mental health care.

i was so shocked that LO would even think to compare the two things like that. on top of what you just said, it's also just so disrespectful to the victims of that real monster that existed.

#lily orchard

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nerdby · 10 months

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On TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

I'm 33 years old and I've loved the turtles my whole life. I've seen the original 1990 movie so many times it's memorized, I've read the original 80s comics, and have watched and enjoyed every TMNT cartoon series on the market. My favorites were the 2003 and 2012 series, and I even went to see the God fucking awful Micheal Bay 2014 film in theaters.

The original 1980s TMNT comics were a parody of 1980s comic book tropes, but they also had a sense of realness to them. Raphael struggled with depression because Splinter was not the greatest father, no matter how hard he tried to be. Whether he meant to or not, Splinter practiced favoritism and pitted his sons against each other. On top of that the turtles were literally homeless teenagers and literally had to fight to live. Michelangelo dealt with the trauma of his life with humor and is an obvious case of ADHD while Donatello chose NOT to deal and to distract himself with science and tinkering instead, becoming the Tony Stark of the group. Leonardo, the favorite, was the only one to thrive even a little bit.

So, YES, the OG turtles were more mature but that's because maturity comes from experience. That is why girls often grow up faster than boys because more responsibility is placed on us growing up while boys are often coddled with a boys will be boys mentality. The turtles did NOT have the luxury of being coddled. They were homeless teenagers and the sons of a very old school, conservative Japanese immigrant. They had to fight and steal to SURVIVE, regardless of their age.

I have no issues with the fact that this is geared towards a younger audience. My problem with this is the ableist humor -- if you watch the trailer jokes are made invalidating Raphael's mental health issues, taking shots at the original 1990 film -- and that this is the shittiest example of claymation I've ever seen. All of it together seems to imply that the makers of this new film think the original 1990 film was a piece of shit that took itself too seriously.

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sophieakatz · 2 years

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Thursday Thoughts: Baymax!

Recently I watched Baymax! – a series of animated shorts on Disney+ set in the world of Big Hero 6. This show follows the titular robot as he roams through San Fransokyo, on a never-ending quest to provide free healthcare for all. It’s completely adorable and heartfelt, and consistently funny. Best of all, each episode presents a different physical or mental health issue and handles the situation with refreshing frankness and thoughtfulness. Neither the illness nor the patient is ever the butt of the joke – with the possible exception of the cat who swallowed a Bluetooth earphone, but then an unhappy cartoon kitty will always be funny. Baymax’s clumsiness and literal-mindedness are this show’s primary source of humor – he is a robot after all, and basically just a balloon with legs. He is also, evidently, incapable of giving up; though his patients protest, Baymax will provide care.

I’ve seen some important opinions online from disabled people who have pointed out that Baymax’s tenacity is a flaw. Simply put, it is not a good thing for a healthcare provider to refuse to take no for an answer. Reflecting on the movie Big Hero 6, Baymax will only shut down if he is told, “I am satisfied with my care.” He does not respond to a simple, “No.” The Baymax! shorts portray Baymax’s unshakable determination to help people as harmless and laughable, instead of as an issue with medical consent. In the real world, many patients – especially people with chronic illnesses – are talked over instead of listened to when it comes to making important decisions about their wellbeing. This can lead to both overmedication and undermedication, and just plain improper treatment.

I see where these viewers are coming from. At the same time, Baymax does respond to “no.” He refuses to give up on solving the problem, yes. However, in every episode, when the patient shows that they are not okay with his methods, Baymax changes his methods. For example, when Sofia, a twelve-year-old panicking over her first period, shoves away the video about tampons and hides in the bathroom stall, Baymax quietly passes her the box of beginner pads, and he adopts a significantly calmer and gentler tone for the rest of the episode. Baymax tries a variety of exposure therapy options for Kiko, and he completely changes his approach the moment she mentions her deceased husband, recognizing that this is not simply a phobia. Baymax repeatedly demonstrates that he is listening to his patients, using their own words in his responses to them – telling Kiko to “live a little,” and suggesting that Mbita “be courageous.” When Cass is stressed out to the point of accidentally hurting herself again over Baymax’s attempts to run the coffee shop, Baymax expresses remorse and takes the blame for her injury. The one time we see Baymax completely refuse to take no for an answer is when it’s a matter of life and death for the patient – when Mbita is experiencing anaphylactic shock.

In each short, the upshot is that what the patient needs even more than treatment is someone to acknowledge their emotions and tell them that everything is going to be okay. Baymax fills this role, and he also gives them the tools and information they need to help things be okay. This is a good story to tell, but it is not the only medical story. Not everything can be fixed with band-aids, shenanigans, and a lollipop.

An excellent next step for this show would be to include a story where someone tells Baymax, “I do not consent to your care” – perhaps because they have a chronic illness, something that cannot be “cured” and the person already knows how to cope with. The person could tell Baymax that they have had enough of medical professionals acting like they know everything even though they’ve never actually lived with the condition. This would give Baymax the opportunity to recognize that this is a problem he cannot “fix,” and that he is the kind of support that this person needs right now. Baymax could encourage the person to find a community who understands their experience, and he may help them find a chat room or support group for people with the same illness. And he’d bump into things with his big balloon body, and offer everyone a lollipop, and things would be happy in the end. Because that’s the kind of show this is.

#thursday thoughts #baymax #baymax!#disney plus #big hero 6 #healthcare

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hismercytomyjustice · 3 days

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X-Men ‘97 Spoilers Below the Cut

I don’t know about y’all but I’m feeling TOTALLY NORMAL about the way the most recent episode ended.

Glad to see Magneto’s still around, but damn I love me a fucked up homoerotic borderline torture scene sometimes.

Can’t wait to see him waste this dude.

Also, I am not up to speed on all the X-Men lore but don’t they have time travel? I feel like if there was ever a time to use it, it would be now? I was just really surprised to see them burying everyone.

Magneto is my #1 X-Man tho. Really digging his vibe right now with all the fucked up political bullshit going on in real life.

—-

X-Men spoilers have ended. Now I’m just yapping.

—-

I feel like this show hits the LGBTQ+ experience beats pretty well at times. I’m behind the times on the rep there. I was never super into X-Men, though I watched the cartoons growing up. It took me a while to delve back into the movies too because I got hardcore body horror freaked out when that dude got liquified in the first one.

My tolerance for that kind of thing used to be waaaay lower than it is now. I had to leave the theater because the gore at the beginning of Zombieland gave me a literal panic attack, haha. I didn’t start watching The Walking Dead until like 2015 for the same reason. Thankfully that kind of thing doesn’t really bother me anymore. It’s weird now to think back to how it used to.

Of course movie theaters in general used to give me panic attacks. It was almost a guarantee for a while that if I went into a movie theater, I was gonna have one. Zombieland was the first and maybe only time I ever had to leave because of one though. Usually I’d just pretend like nothing was happening as far as my friends were concerned and just force my way through them.

Tbh, Ted Lasso was the first time I felt I saw a really good representation of what a panic attack could feel like. Internally it’s like your world is falling apart around you, but externally it can be pretty innocuous unless you’re having major physical symptoms. If you have them often enough, you get pretty good at masking them. I’ve had them loads of times around family and friends and didn’t tell anyone.

Thankfully I don’t have panic attacks nearly that often anymore. And yes, I 100% probably should have said something to my loved ones at the time. But it can be hard when you know you’re experiencing something that isn’t rational and there’s not really anything they can do to help except ride the wave alongside you.

True, some triggers for panic attack can be pretty distressing. But I’ve definitely had them other times where I was just annoyed as hell that my body decided to randomly throw an anxiety party and it’d just be a matter of waiting it out.

Tbh, birth control really helped with mine for a while. I had really bad PMDD and my panic attacks were almost like clockwork with my cycle. I used to dread the impending doom I’d feel as I got closer to the date. I went from having panic attacks multiple times a month to only every so often. Antidepressants have been a godsend on that front too. I had no idea they also worked with anxiety because I never took them specifically for it until 2022.

I got massively sidetracked, but I really enjoy talking about mental health on here. It helps me reflect and process a lot. Sometimes it feels like just casually talking about it takes away some of fear and self-stigma away. That’s also one of the main things I’ve been learning about in therapy, not engaging in avoidance thoughts/behaviors when it comes to my OCD.

That also reminds me of what Marcus says a lot on LPOTL. “Mental illness isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility.” It fucking sucks, but it’s true. In my experience, there’s a huge difference between interacting with someone who’s actively trying to live with their mental illness rather than choosing to ignore it and refusing to seek treatment.

Not that seeking and finding the right treatment and meeting your mental illness head on are easy things to do. It’s a bit privileged to say that. But as someone who didn’t get treatment for most of their life because they didn’t realize they needed treatment (“my symptoms aren’t that bad, it’s just a little anxiety, my prior attempts to seek help blew up in my face, x family member has this and is fine, etc”), lemme just tell ya I bet I am a much more enjoyable person to be around now.

I’m lucky in that I don’t believe I’ve ever lost any family or friends over my previously untreated mental illness. However, I know that I’m a hell of a lot happier and fun to be around when I’m on my medications and receiving regular therapy. I’m far less likely to subject others to my doom spirals and obsessive thoughts. I would get sick of talking about them, so I can only imagine how my captive audience felt.

Sure, there’s more I could be doing, but at least I have a pretty solid foundation under me now. I’m hoping to continue to build on it in time.

#mental health #just talking to myself #life things #this started as an x-men post lol

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0nlinejournal · 1 year

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03/29/2023 11:46pm

Sliced my finger open at work today. The metal lip on one of the espresso heads just wanted a taste I presume. Getting sliced on those heads wasn't something that had happened to me before, and I clean those little metal heads every night. Bastards! The cut is small, but man did I bleed. Sliced the side of my thumb pad and blood pooled and dripped down my hand. Seemed excessive, but alright. I feel like my blood has been different recently. It's super bright red. I've looked up what that could mean before, but I don't recall what the world wide web fed to me at the time. Maybe something about a low white cell count? Ah, probably doesn't matter too much.

I was real tired all day today. I forgot my vitamins this morning and it is absolutely wild how significantly those buggers affect my energy levels for the day. I always talk about how vitamins are the first thing my therapist recommended when I began therapy. She told me B12 and D3 would be a good set to start with. I take them everyday now. They didn't stop the overall depression, but they do help a bit with my general mood and energy. It always feels so silly for something so minute to actually have an affect on your mental health.

I love my dog. She is the sweetest little pea.

11:55pm

I hate that these entries are never consistent or make any damn sense. I don't know what to write about when I sit down to type. I've always been more of a handwritten journal girl, but I like the sound of a keyboard and I like being able to share stuff with strangers who will never know me. I like reading posts from strangers, too. It makes me feel weirdly connected to the world.

Changed my profile picture again. I can never settle on a profile picture. I spent so long on the original one, but I didn't really like it anymore, and it didn't really look like me. I mean, it did, but I have bangs again. I can never grow my bangs out for too long without missing them. They feel like an integral part of my cartoon character look. I didn't have them for months, and when I cut them again and saw one of my long time friends, he didn't even notice. I joked, "I did cut my bangs again thank you!" and he laughed and said, "This is default you. You without bangs is not how I picture you." Fair enough. I have had bangs for the majority of my life. When I was a child, then again around 9th grade and on and off again until now, 26.

What a mundane and unimportant topic, jeez louise. I really don't have any important topics to rant about, though.

I'm going to hang out with a friend tomorrow. I've mentioned her before, but I don't recall what her alias was. But, she's the friend that I've been growing a tad apprehensive about recently. She's been getting upset with me because I have been seeing a mutual friend more than I've been seeing her, and her mind spins it to mean that I don't like her. Which, wasn't at all the case but with the way she's been handling her emotions about it may make that distortion of reality into a self fulfilling prophecy. There's been quite a bit of passive aggressive guilt tripping. She's upset because I'm talking to someone more than her. She doesn't phrase it like that, obviously, and to an extent I can see why her feelings are hurt.

She wants to feel important as a friend, and although I do value her as a friend I am absolutely horrible at keeping up with friends. I am not the friend to make plans and invite people places. I am not the friend to text or call first, or at all (I forget other people exist if I'm left to burrow in my apartment for too long). And if a friend doesn't live close and there isn't a convenient meeting spot then the likelihood of me seeing them is slim. I am a see ya when I see ya kinda gal, and to a fault. I know it. I feel awful about it, but I know that I can't meet the standards that some people want in a friendship. I burn out if I try. I get anxious with text messages and calls, and it ends in me violently avoiding everyone because of the guilt that begins when I feel like I've failed.

My thumb is bleeding again. I grabbed a piece of toilet paper but it's already almost completely covered in blood. Sigh. My keyboard is white.

I've also been questioning if I actually like her. That sounds awful, but I guess it's true. I've known her for a year and a few months now, and I loved her when we were going out all the time and drinking, but since I've slowed down (or completely stopped, rather) I've had more sobering thoughts. If she's not the center of a conversation, she's not interested. She will change the subject. Or do what I've begun calling "a skit". She'll straight up interrupt a conversation, ask for attention and perform some sort of joke, and keep it going just to hold attention, for no other purpose than to hold attention. Before that, though, she'll stare around the room acting as if there's no reason to pay attention to the conversation because she is not involved. A very overt display, mind you, not just casually off in her own world, it is a performance in itself. To add to that, she gets offended if she feels not included. Our mutual friend, her, and I hang out together, and when our mutual friend and I are having a conversation about whatever, she chooses to not join in if she isn't interested and then do one of the previously mentioned actions. Then, on multiple occasions has talked to me outside of a hangout, saying that I talk to our other friend more than her, and it hurts her feelings. And I mean, we straight up just have conversations and she chooses not to be interested or join in on them. I even try to include her, but she'll give short responses and then look away. It is frustrating.

She did finally talk to me directly about how she had been feeling recently in regards to me hanging out with our mutual friend more than her. I see the mutual often since she's dating one of my best friends, and he lives just down the road. She said that I make time for them and not for her. Which, isn't true. I see them often because I'll often pop by after work for 30 minutes to an hour for a chat. I see them often because of convenience. If my friend didn't live there I wouldn't see them as much as I do. I love seeing them as much as I do, but I know that it won't be like this forever. I wish all my friends lived on the same street. Then I could see everyone all the time, and I wouldn't have to remember anything or get anxious about having to text people, or get ready and go places.

Anyway, I explained that to her. I think she understands a bit more now, but she said she wants to feel important to me. I told her that she's not any less important to me just because I see her less. That's not how my mind works. One of my best friends of a decade is someone I only talk to like every six months. But I know that's not how everyone works. I told her that if she needs to put in less effort on her side so she doesn't feel like it's an unbalanced friendship that she can do that, I don't want her to hurt because I'm a dumb friend. We'll see how that all goes.

Unfortunately, something strange came up that has lead me to an unpleasant hypothesis. The boyfriend of our mutual friend, my good friend that I mentioned that lives down the street, told me that she had been asking him to hang out a lot this past week. He told me this after I was relaying our conversation of her being hurt that I make time for him and his gf and not for her. I asked if she had been asking to hang out with just him, or with him and his gf (the mutual friend (also our mutual friend is her best friend)). He said just him. I paused for a moment and told him, "This might sound really cynical, but my mind immediately went to her doing that to take away my ability to hang out with you." Which, sounds crazy. But she's told me stories in the past that make that not impossible to believe. He really didn't even hesitate, "Naaaahhhh, I thought the same thing."

So. I hope that our theory is just paranoia and nothing more, because that would be deeply manipulative and spiteful. It feels strange to think something so outlandish of someone. I don't typically think the worst of people, but with her jealously and stories told in passing, I'm beginning to have to feel like I need to guard my peace a bit.

I'm sure we'll never find out if our theory is correct, but we'll see how things develop.

12:43am

#march 2023 #march 30 2023 #march #journal blog #online journal

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supportivespaceforsurvivors · 2 years

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Trigger warnings: SA attempted grooming death of a parent mental abuse emotional neglect religious trauma EDs

Validation and acknowledgment I’m so sorry that this is so long feel free to ignore this I kind of got carried away :)

So my parents got a divorce when I was 2 and at 4 my mom remarried to a great guy and we moved an hour and a half away. My dad lived with his abusive parents my grandparents They mentally controlled him and I and I didn’t realize the extent till the last few years. They made me feel like if I didn’t do what they wanted all the time they wouldn’t love me and turned me against my moms side of the family. They are also very religious and told me my mom and I would go to hell if we didn’t obey them. My dad was an alcoholic and I had to basically be his therapist when he was drunk he would cry to me even at the age of like 6/7 I also heard them scream at him every night and I would have panic attacks in my room whenever I was at their house. My dad was my hero I worshiped him he was like my best friend and he died when I was ten. I am about to be 16 now and I still get so so sad over him and what he went through and how much I miss him. My mom has been extremely toxic and controlling my whole life but she’s also had such a traumatic upbringing. She gave me an eating disorder and never noticed how bad my mental health was as a kid she never protected me from my grandparents even though she knew what was going on. She used to scream and scream at me when I binged instead of helping me. When I was 12 a male teacher started paying me “special” attention in class. He would give and only me the answers on tests let me do whatever I wanted in class and talk to me every class while everyone else was working. He would praise me to whoever was picking me up and even bought a shirt to match mine. He said it would be our “special little thing” to wear it on fridays. I was very creeped out and scared at this point and I told my mom she completely blew me off and said I was just being dramatic. That night I had a dream where he raped me. I completely distanced myself after that and he backed off. I constantly think it didn’t matter because nothing actually happened but it mattered to me. I told my mom and she made me feel horrible. I was being severely bullied by my whole class that year and it was just awful. When I was in 6th grade a boy next to me started masterbating in the middle of class I was pretty innocent and it freaked me out the boy on the other side of me was like why are you being so dramatic this is normal. and When I was in elementary school this boy I was friends with SAed me. We were doing a test and he told me if I didn’t let him do what he wanted he would tell the teacher I cheated on his test. He sat me down in his lap and kept telling me to pull my pants down more I don’t remember anything after that. I told my mom a few years ago and she didn’t believe me because it happened at school she just told me I had a nightmare. It wasn’t a nightmare it was real why would I make that up. My mom makes fun of me for being “childish” I do things like collecting dolls plushies and watching cartoons to cope with my traumatic childhood and it really hurts :( I just feel so weighed down because of my trauma and just very very alone

Hey anon,

I will absolutely answer this because you deserve an answer!

I am sorry for what happened to you. It is a lot and it is understandable that you feel weighted down by it.

Honestly, your mom should have protected you from your grandparents and she should have believed you all that you experienced. There is no excuse that she didn’t, not even that she experienced trauma herself. She is your mom and believing you and fighting for you is her job. And I am so sorry that she didn’t and even emotionally abused you herself.

What your teacher did to you is grooming and you are wrong when you say “nothing actually happened”. A lot happened and you felt uncomfortable (for a good reason) and you had no one who’d protect you.

It is normal that you don’t remember all of the sexual assault, it still is exactly that. And you were right when you freaked out in class. That was not normal and not okay, even without your past experiences.

And most importantly: plushies and cartoons are nothing exclusively for children. Do what makes you happy. Many people, who had a traumatic childhood, make up for it later. And even if you just like those things for no reason, it is still completely fine.

You are not alone and there will be people who believe you (I do). You should really seek out professional help to process all of this.

Have a nice weekend and please do something you enjoy.

Mod Robin

#csa tw #emotional abuse #eating disorder tw #grooming #death tw #religion tw #answered #anon #ask #mod robin

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kodyboye · 3 years

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Reading book reviews isn't good for your mental health: An Author's Perspective

Hi,

My name's Kody, and, you guessed it: I'm an author. Generally speaking, I write young and new-adult fiction where young(er) people have to face tremendous odds (be they aliens, vampires, zombies, world-rending scenarios or even personal trials they face from within. It's a fun hobby I've been able to make into a somewhat-career (wherein I get paid for my work.) However, with all products, there comes the...

Customer reviews.

Now... I've heard it stated that reading book reviews is actually good for your development as an author. The thinking in some circles is that, if you can pick out common threads of complaints from readers, you might be able to improve upon your work.

But... here's the thing:

While there are well-intentioned reviews that point out various faults in books, there are also reviews that either:

Don't get your book

Are just straight-out mean.

For this post, I want to speak generally, and want to reduce including my own experiences on the matter. If they happen to bleed into the post, I'm intending for them to be used as examples of could bes rather than confirmations of what happens on a general basis.

From my experience of reading book reviews, I've come to find that there are a few types of readers. They usually fall into three categories:

Those that are easily pleased.

Those that are hard to please.

Those who are impossible to please.

Reviewers who are easily pleased tend to forgive certain things in works (spelling mistakes, grammar issues, etc.) Reviewers that are hard (or hard[er]) to please expect certain standards that they've come to anticipate (proper editing, storytelling, formatting.) Then there are reviewers that are impossible to please because they are just that: impossible to please.

Now, you might be wondering, Why include the last one? Isn't that a personal judgment?

Yes and no.

There is a common occurrence I've seen with some reviewers that leads me to believe that they just simply cannot be pleased. When I come across a review I feel falls into this bracket, I tend to look at their list of written reviews and see what they are reading, or if they like anything at all. And let me tell you: I have found readers who simply do. not. like. anything. they. read. Be it a perceived problem with a character, a scenario, or even a plot point, they will go out of their way to make their intent known. Most reviews like this will have maybe one 3-star out of the deluge of 2 and 1-star reviews (and even then, the 3-star review is not shining or middle-of-the-road.)

And here is where reviews can be damaging.

As writers, we grow close to our works. We start stories, nurture characters, see plots to fruition, and create worlds we hope others will enjoy. Releasing them into the wild is akin to walking over landmines that could or could not go off.

Which is where the danger of reading your own reviews comes in.

Looking at the top reviews of certain Big 5 (or is it 4 or 3 now?) publishers, you can generally sense that there will be a divide between readers and their opinions over a piece of work. Some will love it, others will like it, a few will hate it. But let me tell you: when you get a certain type of reader who really, truly not just hates, but abhors a book (for whatever reason,) they will spare no mercy in telling the reader what they think of it.

Even if that means attacking the author.

Now... personal attacks can come as a result of a variety of things—from an author/reader interaction, to a social issue that a reader conflicts with, or even a political one. However, when a reader wants to attack an author, they usually come with knives out.

Which is where the point of this post comes in:

I strongly caution writers not to read reviews of their work.

Why?

Beyond the aforementioned reasons, there are a few things that lead me to follow this practice:

1. The fact that reviews can affect your works-in-progress.

Reading reviews for a series that is in progress can be detrimental to the development of the plot of that series. One misconception on the author's part can lead to second thoughts, doubts, overthinking. I've even seen some authors go back and revise books already self-published in order to cater to the reader who was put off and/or offended by their work.

2. The fact that your work will not be for everyone.

Just like in real life: not everyone is going to like you. Likewise, not everyone is going to like your work (no matter how hard you work at it.) As a result of this, it should be noted that you could write the simplest story that is literally about a rabbit chasing another rabbit and someone will still get offended by it. Some readers, I've said, are impossible to please. Sometimes they don't understand where you were going with the plot, or don't realize their perception of the work doesn't align with your own. Sometimes, people just like to be nasty.

And finally, I should point out the most dangerous part of reading reviews:

3. The fact that reviews can damage your self-esteem.

There are writers who are so sensitive to the feelings of others that they simply cannot take criticism. I've come across this several times throughout my time as a writer, as a developmental editor, and as a reader. Some people are simply not able to handle the idea that not everyone will like their book, and as a result, reduce themselves to tears when it comes to reviews. I've even seen some writers close shop and stop writing forever.

With that being said, and with those points made, I will say that there is a shining kernel of truth throughout all of this:

If someone likes your work enough, they will let you know.

And while it is true that some readers will also go to lengths to point out how much they don't like your work (from nastygram emails to @ tags on social media,) I should note that, just recently, I received fan mail from a reader in India, who found one of my free books and took the time to write to me. They didn't have to do that, but they still did.

In the end, I think it's important to take away the fact that your writing is your own. If you feel your work can be improved with criticism, work to find a critique group or partner you feel can bring out the best in you. Don't depend on the internet to give you credit, props, or even accolades for writing a book. While people will like, and even love, your work, there are an equal amount who will dislike, or even hate, it.

The last thing I'd want to see is someone give up their joy of writing because of a bad review.

#writeblr #Book Reviews #advice for writers

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flashflashhundredyarddash · 3 years

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@joanofarkansass Glad you liked my fic recs! Here are some more marvel + xmen ones:

Catch Me Through the Looking-Glass by ylixia

"It's like a recurring nightmare: Steve Rogers, trapped in a world that is not his own, new love left behind, and nothing to keep him going but questions."

This fic is one of the more popular ones for a damn good reason. A Steve Rogers just reflecting on his relationship with his own Tony AND another Steve and Tony's relationship and getting PISSED the whole time.

Conflict of Interest by NotQuiteHumanAnymore

"Tumblr prompt! alien-angel-orsentientpotato (AKA my firstborn, Cheyenne) asked "Okay so headcanon for x-men evolution. Despite Pietro and Kurt being on separate teams they have a weird understanding of each other as they are both fidgety. Pietro because everything moves so slow and Kurt because he's not used to sitting still or being in one place for long periods of time like school demands. So through this understanding they form a weird pseudo friendship thing in which they race each other, play tag, and see what pranks they can pull on each other without getting caught." And it became this 30k behemoth."

I will be real, I ship Peter/Kurt which is definitely a very rarepair lol, but this fic was very cute! It's based on the xmen evolution cartoon. Even if you don't know much about it, I'd recommend giving this fic a shot!

With a Child's Heart by Scarlet_Ribbons

"“Oh, god.” Steve whispers, sounding as horrified as Tony feels. “You’re so young. Tony, he’s so young.”

Spider-Man coughs once, a frail, baby-bird sound.

(They find his body in a Dumpster.)"

:((((( Vry sad but vry good

don't know why it took me so long to see by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

"“Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognizing his boyfriend past a mask."

A true comedy of errors lol. Tony doesn't realize that his boyfriend Steve is Captain America.

Idiot Control Now by @cygnaut

"Hank screws something up in the lab and everyone's powers increase tenfold. Not knowing how to control them like this, they all try to cope and not kill each other by mistake while Hank tries to find a way to reverse the effects. Charles has a particularly hard time of it."

I got distracted and reread this while making this list. VERY funny and also very creative in how their powers could fly out of control without devolving into crack territory. I LOVE cygnaut's fic and got distracted reading a bunch get ready for some more y'all

Adventures in Babysitting by cygnaut

"When Jean, Scott, and Ororo get in trouble and have nowhere to turn, they call on the last person they probably should—Magneto."

DADNETO!! I LOVE the way cygnaut writes the Erik and Ororo relationship, if I ever write xmen fanfic assume Erik is Ororo's dad in it okay I don't make the rules anymore only cygnaut makes the rules.

Blessed is the Match Consumed by cygnaut

""This isn't a concentration camp," Delta says, calm, like he's been rehearsing it. Erik looks at the gun on his hip, the guards behind him in the corridor, the bars between them.

He smiles with a lot of teeth. "I think I'd know that better than you."

AU in which the beach divorce didn't happen and Erik decides to stay and help Charles start his school. But despite their clean break, the government isn't ready to let the mutants disappear into hiding."

A brutal and really well-written fic.

Plausible Deniability by DragonBandit

"Kurt and Peter travel across mutant America to recruit for Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Kurt has a crush. Peter is oblivious."

Another nightsilver fic that I really like!

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes

"Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself."

SARA HOLMES WINTERHAWK QUEEN

Way Down We Go by @clarkestetler and @goosenik

"After being attacked and forcibly separated from Eddie Brock, Venom bonds to Peter Parker in order to seek both revenge on the LIFE Foundation and any evidence of his previous host. Peter Parker isn't exactly thrilled about this turn of events and turns to the Avengers for help managing his new symbiote."

I've recently fallen into the Peter/Harry ship and this fic quickly became one of my favorites! Very domestic and sweet but also scary and also Peter having a relatively realistic reaction to suddenly being possessed by an alien tickled me.

Turning Tables by @iamallyetnotatall

"Thanos knows if he leaves Tony Stark alive, that Earth's mightiest defender will find a way to undo all of his hard work.

So when he snaps and wipes away half the universe, he ensures that Tony Stark is one of those that fade to nothing.

I.E - a what-if series of ficlets where Tony is dusted and Peter isn't. HAPPY ENDING GUARANTEED"

Very Good. Pepper and Peter and Morgan family bonding is great.

I Don't Want To Keep A Secret by DOA

"As their senior year begins, Peter Parker and Harry Osborn have a lot to figure out on their own.

Peter has his hands full with his Aunt dating again, college, potential romance, and being superhero with a secret identity that may be more trouble than it's worth. Then Harry, with a troubling father, an uncertain future, possibly unrequited love, a family secret, and an ugly green monster that he has no control over.

But what happens if their separate problems are more related than they think?"

A very cute and plotty Parksborn fic set in the Marvel's Spider-Man universe. It does have first person POV and has been incomplete for over a year which :( but I did enjoy what I read!

There you have it! Half of these fics are kind of Really Popular fics (which are popular for good reason) and fics that just happen to really personally appeal to me lmao

#marvel #spiderman #parksborn #nightsilver #avengers #stony #tony stark #peter parker #fic recs #fanfics #the burd squawks

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