𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡 - 𝑐𝑖𝑔𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑜𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑠, 𝑔𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑘𝑖𝑛, 𝑝𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑟𝑎𝑠𝑝 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑠. 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙; 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑑𝑑𝑎𝑚𝑛 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑑𝑦.
—Meggie C. Royer, "Tragedies"
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A woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs but from biting her tongue.
Meggie C. Royer, The No You Never Listened To
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A WOMAN'S FIRST BLOOD DOESN'T COME FROM BETWEEN HER LEGS
BUT FROM BITING HER TONGUE.
-Meggie C. Royer
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I’m soft spoken,
In a way that contrasts my sharp teeth and my pointed corners.
Unapproachable, unapologetic yet, open and falling apart at the seams
Fierce, and guarded with expectations that are as high as my walls, the same walls I spend my days painting the colors of all the flowers I have never received.
Lavender to grey Girlhood to decay
I yearn for things that will wither if I dare to embrace and my moral compass is almost always out of my hands reach. I exchange a piece of it for every new defense mechanism i pick up, and I regret nothing…
not even my tongue that is still stuck in my windpipe because in my hast to run away from spotlight I forgot to tuck it right.
I hold on to ghosts of sentiments that i let filter through me
I, a distant soul that walk through earth aimlessly.
I linger but my traces refuse to hold I don’t get close because i can’t afford being left behind, I dwindle, but i don’t let anyone touch me because being starved taught me that we don’t need to overanalyze the intentions behind every touch; we just need to prevent ourselves from getting hurt.
It’s a collective we, because I learned to stand behind a wall of who I’m supposed to be.
Even if I do it inadequately.
I’m hypersensitive, yet i’d rather shed my own skin than cling to unwanted love that have no potential for growth.
I’m lovable, that much I know
but I don’t believe in falling, It’s not that I don’t want to believe in an unadulterated emotion..
but however I look at at love. it seems fabricated
So now, i only want it with a pre-negotiated price.
With a clear definition and stable steps that I can take one at a time.
That’s how it goes for kindnesses too, as something in me believes that we need to earn it.
Maybe it’s the part of me that i inherited from my mother,
the same part that is still searching for ways to sacrifice more, otherwise we’re selfish.
•••
•Quotes:Louis Tomlinson/Roland Barthes/ Taylor Swift/Meggie C. Royer/ Nikki Giovanni/ Helene Cixous/ Margaret Atwood/ Sylvia Plath/ Anaïs Nin
•Original context: Sinligh
•Art references:
1.Playing Games With Paranoia by Guillermo Lorca (details). 2. Art by: John William Godward (details). 3.Art by: by Ivan Olinsky (details). 4.The wave by Guillaume Seignac (details). 5.Art by: Edward Hopper's (details). 6. The Repentant Mary Magdalene by Francesco Hayez. (Details).
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“I want things to hurt —
cigarette smoke to burn my lungs,
glass shards to cut my skin,
pavement to rasp against my knees.
I do not want beautiful;
I want a goddamn tragedy.”
- Meggie C. Royer , Tragedies
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I remember you
as someone I want to forget,
but at the same time
as someone I want to discover
and rediscover again and again,
until I no longer recognize you
for what you once were.
Meggie C. Royer - 'Rediscovering You'
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"I want things to hurt — cigarette smoke to burn my lungs, glass shards to cut my skin, pavement to rasp against my knees.
I do not want beautiful;
I want a goddamn tragedy.
— Meggie C. Royer, from "Tragedies"
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A woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs but from biting her tongue.
Meggie C. Royer, The No You Never Listened To
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I just finished "Knife Cat", although I don't think that will be the final title for this painting (let me know if you have any ideas). My goal was to depict a cat in a defensive posture, licking the sharp edge of a kitchen knife. Dangling from the cat's collar is a heart-shaped tag, labelled "Princess". I wanted to give a sense of flash photography with the lighting and shadows, as if you had caught this scene suddenly and accidentally. I chose to go with an overall pink/red/purple color scheme (inspired by Barbie 2023) -- the thought was to draw focus to the cat's mouth, and to solidify the reference the femininity. This image came to me after considering many quotes and poems that resonated with my experience of girlhood (included below). Sometimes, being a little girl felt like being a tiny creature, ravenous for love, who earned it through silently tolerating pain. Created with acrylic paint, glitter, and Swarovski crystals, sealed in epoxy resin on 12"x12" stretched canvas, mounted on a wire.
“When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives.”
― Lauren Eden
“A woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs but from biting her tongue.”
― Meggie C. Royer
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Loving me will not be easy. Some days I will be a stuttering apology and you won’t know how to handle all the things I’ve done wrong.
Meggie C. Royer
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