#meanwhile i need a lil jacket to go places at night hA

[otrtbs]

110℉ (43℃) in my hometown 2day and the high where im at was 72℉ (22℃)

#love u texas but omg the summers here OUT!SELL! #my old uni issued a heat advisory #meanwhile i need a lil jacket to go places at night hA #nat rambles

[cupidjyu]

out of style

hyunjae x reader

genre: opposites attract ..?, lil relationship backstory, flirting, teasing, blah blah, author hates physics with all of her life, flustered reader and hyunjae because he's more shy than one would think, this barely has a plot notes: as per request, based on taylor swift's style! also based on the fact that for some reason people thought that hyunjae looks cold like bro is the sweetest looking guy ever but ok word count: 2.2k

“Look at you…” Your friend sighed to herself. “Smiling like an idiot just because you got dropped off by the love of your life.”

You gawked at her. “Because he is the love of my life?” You turned briefly to glance back to where your boyfriend was walking off. You had told him that he didn’t have to wait but he insisted, saying that he had errands to run. He literally just needed to buy a sandwich.

She clicked her tongue, gesturing you to sit down.

“Focus,” She warns. “We have a project due in two days.”

“Right,” You breathe, smoothing down your outfit. It consisted of many light colors, much like a garden of flowers. Meanwhile Hyunjae, with his dark hair and his leather jacket contrasted you comically.

Your friend sighed, looking you over. “See, I never expected you two to get together. And last over a year at that.”

“Why?” You pouted.

She sat back in her chair, looking at you in disbelief. “You’re just so… different.”

You paused and took the time to actually think about it. And you did find yourself silently agreeing. You and Hyunjae were different. It wasn’t just from your style choices, but also personality-wise. While you were the more cheerful and “approachable” one, he was the guy on campus who supposedly looked “cold” and was an overall quiet person.

But even if he often had an intimidating look on his face, you always noticed the way his eyes always softened when they landed on you. 

You noticed that on the inside, he was a complete softie at heart.

He was always the one to go out of his way to buy you food when you were craving it at the worst time in the middle of the night. He was always the one to tell you that you looked pretty whenever you seemed the least bit insecure. 

“Were you not even a bit scared when you first met him?” She tilted her head curiously.

You shook your head, smiling fondly. “No, not once.”

–

Truthfully, it all started when he showed up to a lecture late. He looked completely disheveled and he had an annoyed furrow of his eyebrows that even made the professor keep quiet. He only earned a stern look. 

With a frown, he searched the room for a seat, only for his eyes to very conveniently land on the one right next to him. Awkwardly, you moved your stuff over so that he could sit down. And then you turned back to the lecture, aptly deciding to forget his presence right next to you.

But that was when you noticed a small piece of paper in the corner of your eye. Raising an eyebrow, you picked it up and folded it open.

hi

You turned to the side, staring at the man completely unimpressed. He gave you a small smile and that was when you realized that closer up, he was handsome. Even through his tousled hair, he had kind eyes and pretty lips. And even under his black shirt, you could see that he was broad and tall.

With a confused shake of your head, you scribbled on the note.

hi 

When you passed it to the side, you felt the warmth of his hand brush against yours. Not even a second later, the paper was placed in your hand again. Feeling a small sense of excitement now, you unfolded it, only to sigh.

do you understand what’s going on

You scrunched your nose and looked at him. He only chuckled leaning closer, intrigued.

yes because i actually came here on time

He read it over your shoulder, and you took the time to realize that he smelled nice. And also that he was literally leaning over you, causing you to feel a bit nervous. When he read your words, he nodded, leaning back in his chair. Then he pulled out another piece of paper.

This time, he wrote for a good while. 

He took so long that for a second you thought that he was actually paying attention and taking notes. But then, he smiled shyly at you and slipped the note over. You bit back your own smile and opened it.

wanna teach me after this?

You eyed him skeptically.

why should i?

He read your words and laughed quietly. You could see that the tips of his ears were red as he wrote his response.

because i think you’re pretty

You felt your cheeks heat up for a moment and in order to cope with the embarrassment, you crumpled up the note and turned back to the lecture, trying to ignore the small glances he would steal at you.

After the lecture ended, you tried to grab your bag and run off as fast as you could. You knew that if you found out his name, it would be even harder to forget him in your mind. But before you could even take a third step, he was stepping forward, looking at you with an amused smirk.

With a groan, you gave up.

“Fine, what’s your name?” You scowled.

“Hyunjae,” He immediately replied, smiling even wider.

“And are you going to stare at me if I do teach you?” 

“I sure am.”

And that was what it became. Multiple times of the week, you would meet him in various places to tutor him on the course. It started at the library, then moved to cafes, and eventually, it became his apartment.

And yes, he would stare. He was a flirty person at heart. Whenever he wanted a break from learning, he would just stop and let his eyes wander over your facial features until you squirmed and ridiculed him for being unfocused. 

“I really do think you’re pretty,” He would bluntly reply. You always brushed it off as him teasing.

But most of all, he was a sweetheart.

One time, you showed up late to one of your tutoring sessions after oversleeping. You were sure that you looked like a mess and your mind was flooded with stress of other projects and assignments to finish. When you sat beside him, he immediately noticed your change in mood.

“Okay?” He asked, his voice soft.

“What?” You swallowed thickly, the lump in your throat becoming more painful by the second. “Yeah.” But you knew how unconvincing that was when you literally had tears welling up in your eyes.

His eyes softened and he shifted even closer to you.

You looked at him and then back down into your lap.

“I’m sorry for being late. And…” 

He shook his head, regarding you only with a kind, gentle look.

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

You opened your mouth to speak but he silenced you gently by taking your hand in his.

“And you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong,” He continued. Leaning forward, he gently cupped your face to wipe away the tears cautiously with his thumbs. You found yourself smiling shyly at his kind actions. It looked odd, seeing such polar opposites sitting together and smiling stupidly at each other. But to you, you found it perfect.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered, holding back more tears. “You’ll make me cry again.”

He laughed. “Do you want…” He trailed off, instead finishing his sentence by holding his arms out. Immediately, you were falling forward and allowing him to take you into his embrace, accompanied by a soft kiss to the top of your head. He looked cold but he was always warm.

–

The day that you two got together was the same day that you saw him with another person. He was laughing and smiling and you felt a sour feeling in the very bottom of your gut. And you weren’t the type to deny that it was jealousy. You just didn’t know why you felt it in the first place.

And so when he was walking you home after a late-night tutoring session since he was oh, so busy with someone else, you did the stupid thing of inviting him in.

As you watched him take off his coat, you did yet another dumb thing.

“I heard that you’ve been out and about with some other person,” You suddenly blurted out. He froze and turned to you, observing you quietly. You gulped, taking a step back and immediately regretting every decision you’ve made to this very moment.

But to your surprise, his lips tilted into an amused smile, his eyes sparkling dearly.

“What you heard was true,” He replied nonchalantly. Instantly, you felt a pang in your heart as you trailed backward. Except, you must have forgotten the layout of your own apartment because you were almost tripped over the nearby table. But of course, Hyunjae just had to reach forward and pull you in by the waist.

You breathed out shakily, refusing to look him in the eye. 

“But you know that I can’t stop thinking about you and I,” He whispered, tilting his head ever so slightly.

That was when you paused in your tracks–though, you couldn’t move anyway with his arms wound around you. 

“Also,” He continued, grinning slyly. “That was my cousin.”

Embarrassment flamed throughout your body and you jerked in his hold.

“So tell me something.” Hyunjae leaned ever so closer. “Do you do the same? Think about us?”

You blinked at him, your hands fidgeting nervously. And then, shutting your eyes with mortification, you bowed your head down and whispered, “I do.”

The only thing you could hear after was a teasing huff of laughter before your surroundings were immediately deafened–deafened by the feeling of his lips on yours. You remembered his hand cupping the side of your face as he tilted your head up and how his other hand rested on your lower back to keep you from stumbling.

He was always a gentle kisser, much unlike how he looked on the outside.

–

“Thinking about something?” A familiar voice interrupted you out of your thoughts.

You shook out of it, coming face-to-face with none other than your boyfriend, sitting beside you on the floor. His notebook and computer were sprawled out on the table, completely untouched as he had abandoned them to… admire you apparently.

“Ah, just…” You trailed off then, narrowing your eyes at him. “Hey, focus.”

Hyunjae sighed, letting his hand trail down your side even though he knew you were ticklish there.

“Can’t I kiss you instead of learning about keyboard energy?” He looked at you pleadingly.

“Kinetic energy.”

“Same thing,” He groaned.

“And no,” You grumbled. “At least do one problem first.”

He frowned before turning back to his notebook. You watched, amused as he did in fact complete every single step of the problem. After he was done, you were about to congratulate him on getting the first right answer in about two weeks, when he suddenly turned around, pinned you against the couch, and kissed you like his life depended on it.

“Were you that excited?” You laughed when he pulled away, lips reddened.

“Always.” He smirked. “So tell me what you were thinking about.”

You internally sighed, hoping he would have forgotten by now. But, he always remembered things about you. Like how you secretly liked it when he kissed you instead of listening to your tutoring. 

“It’s nothing. Just that my friend says that we’re very different. And that it’s odd that we’re dating.”

“It is odd.”

 “Oh.” You looked at him in surprise.

“But that’s what makes it fun.” His eyes wandered over you. Yes, you still squirmed awkwardly. “I like that we’re different. You and your pretty outfits,” He explained, toying with the hem of your clothes as he smiled at the way you blushed. “And the fact that you get flustered so easily.”

“That’s because of you,” You shot back weakly.

“Precisely.” He leaned in before whispering, “And that you make me smile like an absolute idiot.”

“I do?” You bit back a smile.

“Don’t act all surprised,” He grumbled.

And this time, you let your smile break free. “Well, you do the same to me.”

“So did you also fall in love the day we first met?” His eyes widened almost hopefully.

“Not rea–” You gasped, it suddenly dawning on you. “Did you?”

And this time, he was the one who was blushing, even coughing awkwardly as he pulled away. Bringing a hand up to his face to cover his reddening cheeks, he stuttered over and over again.

“I– I just didn’t know how to act around you,” He desperately tried to defend himself. But this time, you could see right through him. 

“Wow, this is–” You laughed in disbelief. “Crazy. The man who’s supposed to be cold and ‘mean’ falls in love on the first day.” When you noticed that he was leaning back and fully covering his face, you smiled fondly. “And he’s shy now.”

He peeked an eye through before muttering a small, “Shut up.”

“Nope,” You sang. 

And this time, you wound your arms around his neck and allowed him to shut you up. With a kiss of course. His lips were roughly on yours again, his eyes shut adorably in concentration and embarrassment. That became a thing for the next few minutes. Every time you would try to tease him for his red cheeks, he would kiss you again, which would cause even more blushing.

“It’s an endless cycle,” You teased.

“Shut u–”

“Okay, go ahead.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you’re getting it.”

#deoboyznet #the boyz imagines #the boyz reactions #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #tbz imagines #the boyz x reader #the boyz scenarios #tbz x reader #hyunjae fluff #hyunjae x reader #drabbles 💞 #requests 💞

[idy-ll-ique]

unlike any other

pairing: mob boss!bucky barnes x maid!f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut (AH THE HOLY TRINITY)

warnings: mention of blood, mention of wounds,,,,,,,,, sex (but only a lil bit)

requested: nope

word count: 1.8k

summary: bucky barnes, among many things, owns a strip club. y/n works there as a maid, but she has only recently joined so she has no idea who he is. one day, she catches him napping in one of the private rooms after closing time and, not knowing that he owns the place, asks him to leave because it's a "staff only" room. mesmerized by her, he leaves without a word but a few days later, she finds out who he truly is. sparks fly? sparks fly.

author's note: hiya peeps! enjoy!

masterlist

---

James Barnes was tired.

All he wanted to do was go home and get a good night's sleep, but this moron in front of him was proving it to be very difficult. "What aren't you getting about my plan, Johnson?" he growled, a deep glare etched on his face as he disdainfully stared at one of the men who worked for him. "Why are we doing this at all?" Oh, Johnson has quite the mouth on him, can't wait to break all his fucking teeth.

"Are you the boss or am I?" Bucky countered, putting his arms up, exasperated. Johnson was about to reply when Bucky decided he was too tired to deal with him at all. "You know what, how about we talk tomorrow, hm? Leave, now." With an audacious huff, Johnson got up and left the room. As soon as he was gone Bucky groaned loudly.

"That man," he muttered to himself, "Is a fucking idiot. I'm gonna have to talk to Sam tomorrow, why did he even suggest—" Bucky then relaxed back onto the couch he was sitting on, leaning further and further back until he was simply lying down, head resting on the armrest.

James Barnes was tired.

And he needed a fucking nap.

James Buchanan Barnes. He commonly went by the name Bucky, and he ran the biggest, most affluent mob in the city. Currently, he was at a strip club that he owned, which also had private rooms for… basically hooking up, but he never used it for that, using it only to hold meetings with potential allies or his men.

He dozed off on the couch but was able to sleep for only about 30-45 minutes before someone was shaking him awake.

---

“Phew, last room! Why does this place have so many rooms?” Y/N grumbled to herself, opening the door to the private room. She was a maid recently hired by the club, and her job was to clean up all the private rooms after the closing time. They paid her well so she didn’t mind doing the job. When she opened the door, though, she noticed a man sleeping on the couch.

All his clothes were still intact and his hair was also done nicely… She scrutinized him for a while longer, taking note of his handsome, chiselled features and how he dripped of power even when he was asleep. Finally, a few minutes later, she decided to wake him up. However powerful he might seem, the rooms after closing were for staff only and he needed to leave.

“Excuse me, sir?” Y/N gently shook his shoulders, startling him awake. He blinked his eyes open and in his hazy state of mind, he thought there was an angel standing above him. “What?” he yawned and Y/N offered him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, you gotta go, the club is closed for the night and this is a staff-only room,” she told him and he blinked.

She didn’t know him? “I, uh, yeah, I’m sorry,” he complied, sitting up. He took in her appearance as well; she was wearing a cheesy maid’s costume that fit the aesthetic of the strip club perfectly, yet there was a sort of innocence to her, the kind that would make even the most cold-hearted and powerful of them all want to cater to her every whim without question.

“Uh… see ya around,” she raised her eyebrows and Bucky offered her a quick smile, getting out of the room. “Behaving like he owns the place,” Y/N scoffed to herself as she began cleaning up the mess in the room starting with the empty alcohol bottles. She couldn’t stay mad at him for long, though- his handsome face could make anyone’s heart melt. As the thought passed through her head, a small smile bloomed on her face.

Oh stranger, I really hope we meet again soon.

As Bucky drove home, he, too, thought of the maid. Who was she? Why had he never seen her before? And why didn’t she know him? That night, as he went to bed for the second time, all he saw in his dreams was a lovely maid’s costume and a pretty, pearly white smile.

---

“I’m firing that guy,” Bucky told Sam determinedly. A few days had passed since Bucky’s meeting with Johnson and he was more determined than ever to get rid of the guy. Something about Johnson seemed off. “Wh- You hired that guy like a week ago, what happened? He used to work with Pierce and Rumlow before, he can give us valuable intel-”

“What if he never stopped?” Sam quieted at the retort. “He told us how horribly they treated their own men,” Sam answered a little while later. “What if he’s lying?” Bucky asked impatiently. “Give him a chance-” Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Bucky sighed and Johnson poked his head in. “Got a minute, boss?”

“Oh sure, come in, we were just discussing you! Have a seat!” Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky’s sudden cheerfulness as Johnson happily bounded into the room, plopping down on the couch. “What were you discussing?” he questioned. “How I was just about to fire you,” Bucky smirked and Johnson’s face fell.

He didn’t speak for a few minutes, causing Sam and Bucky to glance at each other. “Hello…?” All of a sudden Johnson stood up with a fit of rage. “Damn it, Barnes, you ruin everything!” Bucky shouted triumphantly as Sam gasped. “I knew you were a fucking two-timer, you son of a bitch!” Bucky yelled at him. “And you made it so easy!” Johnson laughed dryly.

“Why you-” Bucky swung a punch at Johnson’s face, breaking his nose. “What have you told Pierce?!” Johnson retaliated right back by kicking his knee into Bucky’s abdomen, making him fall back. A fight soon broke out between all three of them, so loud that the commotion could be heard from outside.

Approximately 20 minutes later Y/N, who was passing by the room at the time, heard the loud noise and stopped in her tracks. It sounded like… two people fighting. It wasn’t her cleaning time yet, but she still rushed to the door, opening it up with such force that the door loudly banged on the other side. At this, the fight instantly halted.

Bucky was holding an unconscious Johnson by the collar, his fist an inch away from Johnson’s jaw. Both of them looked pretty beaten up, with blood all over their faces and clothes. Sam, meanwhile, was half-lying on the couch, clutching the side of his abdomen with a pained look on his face. Y/N’s hands flew to her mouth at the sight of them.

That was when she recognized the man from a few days ago. Oh shit, he does own the place. Bucky immediately got up and dusted his suit, staring down at a passed-out Johnson with a sneer. “Sam, take him to Wanda, she’ll know what to do with him. And please, for the love of God, go to the hospital.” With the help of a few others, Sam and Johnson left.

It was only Bucky and Y/N in the room now. She continued staring at his face in horror and Bucky chuckled, wiping away a trail of blood near his lips. “That bad?” She snapped out of her trance. “You…” Bucky gave her a wry smile. “Bucky Barnes at your service. And you are?” Y/N blinked a few times before answering. “Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky looked around.

“Well, Y/N, if you’d be so kind as to fetch me a first aid kit.” She instantly walked out of the room and got the first aid kit for him. When she returned to the room, Bucky was sitting on the couch, his jacket and shirt removed. Even his torso was covered in black and blue bruises. "It looks bad," she blurted out.

"Will you help me clean up?" Y/N couldn't deny him. He was her boss, after all. She sat down next to him and wordlessly started cleaning the blood off his face. He didn't so much as flinch, which Y/N found to be extremely impressive. After all the blood was cleaned, Y/N grimaced when she saw his broken nose. "Your, um, your nose…" Bucky easily grabbed his nose in both hands and clicked it into place.

Y/N flinched badly at the action, making Bucky laugh. "Come on, princess, it's not that difficult," he teased her and she shook her head, a smile blooming on her face. "So, um, I'm sorry about that day," she mumbled as Bucky kept the first aid kit away. "Sorry? For doing your job? Don't do that."

She looked up at him. "No, I- I should've known it was you, and I just… maybe I could've been more polite-"

"Sorry, you gotta go, the club is closed for the night and this is a staff-only room," Bucky quoted verbatim, "You couldn't have been more polite." Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she shuffled her feet. "Please don't fire me," she whispered under her breath, yet Bucky managed to hear her. And when an opportunity presents itself…

"On one condition."

She looked up at him, wide-eyed and nodded excitedly. "Anything you want." Bucky smirked and sat back down next to her, placing his hand on her bare thigh. "Go on a date with me," he breathed out, leaning close to her. Y/N's breath and heart rate hitched at his forwardness, but she didn't have the will to deny him.

He was good-looking, he was rich, he was polite, why not give it a try? Y/N offered him a small smile. "Um, okay, I'd like that a lot," she agreed truthfully and Bucky grinned, pressing his lips to hers without wasting a moment. Y/N kissed him back, cupping his face with her hands.

In the heat of the moment, Bucky bent forward until the back of Y/N's head touched the armrest; still, they didn't pull away from each other. Bucky sneakily got his hand under Y/N's blouse, the skin on skin contact making them both groan. "Ugh, you really are very pretty, you know?" Bucky whispered as he unbuttoned her blouse and threw it away.

He stared in awe at her bra-covered breasts, his shaft twitching impatiently. But, just as he was about to unbuckle her bra, the door swung open. Bucky immediately hid Y/N under him and looked up at a horror-struck Sam, who ran out of the room screaming, "At least lock the door next time, asshole!"

Y/N giggled when she saw Bucky's flustered face. "He's right, you know," she whispered cheekily and Bucky playfully narrowed his eyes at her, attacking her neck with kisses and love bites.

"Talk to me like that again and you'll be in for a long night, pretty face."

"Oh, I'd like to see you try, boss."

---

a/n: thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed it!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #mob!bucky barnes #maid!reader #winter soldier #mob au #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

[all-hail-the-witcher]

geralt ramsey

I've been screaming about this with @toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian and @toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account for like days so you've heard of chef!geralt, now get ready for geralt ramsey because I've been watching way too much hells kitchen and kitchen nightmares

-so geralts a witcher. been alive since like the middle ages.

-but the monsters got few and far between and he dabbled in some careers before going to culinary school

-jaskiers especially surprised that he's good at it cause he remembers geralts tasteless campfire rabbit from 1238 thank you Very much

-also no one knows how old he is

-someone asked him on twitter once

-he said “852″

-everyone thought he was joking

-but anyway geralt somehow becomes this Really Good Chef

-hosts hells kitchen, masterchef, masterchef kids, kitchen nightmares, all of them and owns all the restaurants has his fancy lil michelin stars okay he's Good

-everyones scared of him

-he wears his hair in a bun, pen behind the ear

-arms crossed, usually scowling 

-wears a black jacket instead of chefs whites cause jaskier says it makes his “hair pop”

-intimidating To The Max

-but he's secretly the biggest softie

-but no one really knows it

-cause if you undercook his scallops? oh man you're gonna get it

-jaskier kinda thinks its hot

-speaking of jaskier

-hes one of the hosts on great british baking show

-valdo marx is the other

-No One Knows That Jaskier And Geralt Are Together Much Less Married

-jaskier makes them get married in a new place every time it becomes legal there

-geralt hates it but he puts up with it cause it makes jaskier happy

-but anyway

-no one knows they're together

-jaskier cant cook to save his life

-hes essentially the joey batey baking video irl

-every time he cooks geralt says a prayer that he won't get food poisoning

-like gordon does on kitchen nightmares

-jaskiers specialty is dino nuggets

-geralt pretends to hate them but he loves munching them after a long day

- “if word got out that a 16 michelin star chef liked dino nuggets id be done for julek, how dare you even suggest such a thing”

-one time on kitchen nightmares he lets it slip that he has a husband

- “even my husbands food is better than that!!” 

-and immediately goes “fuck”

-the whole internet is like you're MARRIED???? you're GAY??????

-cue hunt for the elusive husband

-jaskier thinks its fucking hilarious

-lambert teases him relentlessly

-there are many theories

-but alas, no one guesses the host of gbb

-one time

-its one of their many anniversaries 

-geralt forgot cause by this point they have at least 150

-that night on hells kitchen he goes “listen up. my husbands here tonight. its our anniversary. don't fuck this up.”

-everyone (including contestants) tries to figure out who the husband could be

-but they cant

-the only person of any remote significance is that hist of gbb sitting in the red kitchens vip booth

-eventually tho it Does come out

-in like

-the most ridiculous way possible

-theres this big fire in one of geralts restaurants 

-on the night he happens to be there

-everyones pretty much fine

-but geralt (along with most of the other kitchen staff) inhaled a fuck ton of smoke

-jaskier shows up just as geralts hacking and trying to sign the waiver to refuse care

-cause hes a “fucking witcher, jaskier. ive survived way worse with your slapdash first aid and back room healers i don't need modern medicine” 

-jaskier is Beside Himself

-meanwhile everyones like tf is the host of gbb doing here

-jaskiers arguing with geralt and everyones like :o cause you Don't do that

- “dear heart. you can’t breathe. you are GOING to the hospital if i have to drag you there myself!”

-everyones like....dear heart????

- “julek-”

- “no! you're my husband!! i fucking care about you, you oaf! modern medicine was invented for a reason!!!”

-everyones like oh. oh my god. that's him. that's the fucking husband.

-and geralts just like

- “i used to fight monsters i can survive some sm-” and then he just starts coughing

-and jaskiers like. instantly soft as heck. 

- “cmon dear heart, lets go talk to the emts, alright? I know you can survive without their help, but it would make me feel so much better if you listened to them.”

- “....fine”

-and jaskier gives him a forehead kiss and wraps his arm around him

-everyones Shocked

-cause it was bakeoff dude all along????

-geralts kinda annoyed 

- “now i gotta share you, julek”

- “there's enough of me to go around”

- “hmm”

- “if you're so annoyed we could always stage a divorce. we can afford one, we are legally married in like 16 countries”

- “no, jaskier”

-lambert teases them about it

- “really geralt? no one had Smoke Inhalation on their betting list for how the world find out you were together! now what are we supposed to do? the pool was like a million bucks!!”

-geralt ignores him

-but after it comes out

-jaskier occasionally surprises geralt at work

-and everyones So Shocked that grrr mean chef geralt is actually so soft with his husband??

-and jasper also talks about geralt on bakeoff 

-he tells cute stories

-i just love this au and i could talk about it for hours okay

#if someone drew geralt ramsey id give you my first born child #witcher #witcher au #witcher hc #geralt #geralt of rivia #chef!geralt #geralt ramsey #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #this is the best thing I've ever thought up

[asterroidd]

sho the todorki

↬ pairing: shouto todoroki x reader

↬ synopsis: you like him, he likes you. the problem? sho's in the friend zone and so it's up to mina, the resident match maker, and company to give you guys a lil push.

alternatively: sho being a dork, hence the title

↬ warning/s: profanity lol, a lot of second hand embarrassment, two insufferable idiots, idk if this is too ooc of shouto but just take this dorky version of him

↬ note: a fic dedicated to @puredivinity​ that serves as a welcome gift for joining the sho simp club. luv u mara despite all the cursed images i send

    Class 3-A has four unspoken rules:

    Number one: never play music out loud beyond 8 pm (tried and tested by Denki himself, got blown up by Bakugo)

    Number two: don't leave your room at 2 am or a certain grape pervert would harass you

    Number three: refrain from mentioning crocs to Kirishima. Just don’t.

    And number four: never tell you or Shouto that both of you like each other (just for the sake of entertainment)

    It had become customary to not break these four rules or those who dare break it is rumored to have a thousand year duration of bad luck to be passed down generation after generation.

    That said, Mina was fed up with the mutual pining you and Shouto clearly exhibit. For two years she watched both of you shy and fluster with one another. His face beet red while you a fumbling mess. Truly a sight to behold. It was like watching a romance movie in real time, but without the stupid opening track. 

    At first she thought it was cute, it all started one morning during her first year in U.A. You forgot your jacket that day after waking up late and thus have to rush to get on time. Aizawa would have your head if you weren't there in homeroom. So in your idiocy and frantic state, you forgot most of the essential stuff and that includes, of course, a warm jacket.

    Mina watched as Shouto stared at you from across the room.  With tense shoulders as his gaze constantly drift from your form to his jacket. Her mouth curled upwards, interested with the current situation. It was not every day one could see the infamous Todoroki Shouto so nervous.

    She eagerly kept her attention on him, watching as Shouto got up from his seat and slowly made his way to you with shaky legs. Shouto, barely uttering a word, shoved his jacket to you and rushed back to his seat. At that moment, Mina already knew something was blossoming between you and him.

    And so it basically became her life mission to make sure you and Shouto end up with one another. She made the promise two years ago, and yet here you both were, two dorks that has a crush on each other but couldn't confess even if the world ends that very moment.

    Was it difficult to watch? Yes.

   It took all of Mina's entire being to not push his head into yours. She knows the consequences if one breaks the fourth rule. Two years had already pass and graduation is around the corner, she refuses to accept that both of you aren't a couple. As Class 3-A's resident cupid and match maker, she is more than determined to make sure you and him both end up together. Mina would not be inherently breaking rule number four, just gonna give you guys a lil' push with the help of a friend. And that friend is one that possesses an electrification quirk.

    "Okay, what do we tell (____) tomorrow?" Denki asked.

    Shouto looked over his written notes one last time before nodding and giving his answer, "I'll ask them if they want to have coffee."

    "Good! Make sure to?"

    "I'll make sure to keep eye contact and. . ." he halted, going over his notes once more. "And make sure that I'm smiling."

    Denki flashed him a grin. Clasping a hand around his shoulder and lightly patting it afterwards. "Now, don't forget the lesson I've taught you today. It is important that your date goes smoothly with (____)."

    Shouto eagerly nodded, stars dancing in his eyes. His heart clamored inside his chest, beating in a quick tempo comparable to that of allegro. Sweat accumulated on his palm, in which Shouto then hastily wiped it on his shirt. Despite nervousness bubbling inside his stomach, Shouto admits that he is excited to ask you out.  "Do you really think (____) and I would be a great couple?"

    "Of course, dude! Right, Mina?" Denki turned to his friend. She gave him two thumbs-up, giving fuel to Shouto's confidence for tomorrow's event.

    Now that Denki is done giving him an hour-long lesson about asking you out and things to do in a date, Mina was sure everything would go smooth as butter. Like, what could go wrong? Despite Shouto being a dork and foreign to the concept of love, he still has that natural charm that had some swooning for him.

    Though, she spoke all too soon.

    Mina facepalmed, dragging her palm across her face as Shouto stood frozen before you. She and Denki should've seen this coming.

    "(____)," he started, his voice cracking at the end. Suddenly the discoloration and grime in between the cracks of the wall looks interesting. He kept looking everywhere but you.

    You tilted your head to the side, "What's up, Sho?"

    Heavens above, Shouto loves that nickname.

    The male fiddles with the ends of his shirt, his tongue twisting and throat closing which makes it hard to speak. After class had ended, Shouto came up to you asking if he could talk to you somewhere private. He led you to the area behind the gym where no students are on sight. Well, that is except for Mina and Denki who closely followed behind to make sure Shouto wouldn't mess up his chance. The two stayed low, making sure they are well hidden behind the bush nearby.

   This was now the moment; the perfect chance for Shouto to ask you out after practicing his lines over and over again. It was a simple question: ‘Do you want to have coffee with me this weekend if you are free?”

   Should be easy enough right?

    "I- well- uhh. . ." he scratched the area behind his ear. "D-do you maybe want to free?"

    Shouto paled, he'd done messed up.

    "Wait that's wrong—" he took a deep breath. "Are you coffee this weekend?"

    Really? Really Shouto?

    "Shit— wait! Coffee this free??"

    Can someone take this lost child away?

    Denki bit his inner cheek, hands tugging his hair from second hand embarrassment. He had fate on him; had fate that Shouto had rehearsed enough the night before in asking you out. Guess he was wrong.

    "What do you mean by that?" you voiced out. You were beyond puzzled, unsure what to make of the situation. First he asks to speak with you in private, now he's a stuttering mess. Could it be that he's confessing? Asking you out?

    Your heart quickened at the thought. You were ready to say 'yes'.

    "What I mean is uhh. . ." Shouto wished he has his written notes. "Are you weekend for this coffee?"

    "YES!!" you shout without thinking.

    Wait, what? Hold up.

    "Aight, I'm forcing these two to kiss each other." Mina announced. That’s it. She lost hope for the both of you. You and Shouto need professional help. She adjusted her position, ready to get up and intervene. That is until Denki lay a heavy hand on her shoulder.

    "Wait," he motioned his head to you. Mina huffed, sitting down once more.

    "Sho. . ." you start, a soft smile on your face.

    "Y-yes?" damn, Shouto is such a stuttering mess.

    "Do you want to grab a coffee this weekend? I mean, if you are free?"

    He blinked, your words slowly being registered in his brain. There was a buffer, like an old computer processing 10 kilobyte worth of data. His brain was stuck on 78% in the progress bar. Then, it dawned on him; the cogs and gears turning. It took a full minute for Shouto to understand. "I-. . .I’d love to!" he managed to stutter out.

    Welp, at least that did the job. Denki and Mina released a sigh of relief. High-fiving each other despite the obvious fact that Shouto failed his task.

    But hey, beggars can't be choosers. All's well, ends well.

    You can't believe it.

    You have a date with Shouto. THE Todoroki Shouto. The guy you've had a crush on since your first year in UA. The one that swept you right off your feet the moment you laid your eyes on him. The friend that always had your back. With him struggling to ask you earlier, could it mean that he likes you more than a friend?

    You let out a squeal, pressing the pillow flush against your chest. In total, you've replayed the scene from memory for over fifty times already. You couldn't even concentrate in doing your homework. So you thought instead of doing your responsibilities, you opted to celebrate by screaming and running around your room in glee.

   It wasn't everyday you'd get a douse of serotonin.

   You’ve waited for this day since forever. Day dreaming about Shouto being your significant other; holding hands with him, wrapping your arms around his torso, and kissing his lips.

   The thought brought forth another pterodactyl squeal from you.

   Oh gods, what would you wear? Should it be casual? Semi-formal? Formal?

   A wedding dress??

   No one told you a date was this stressful. You groaned, prying opening your wardrobe cabinet to quickly plan out an outfit. You can’t afford to look stupid and, dare you say, cheap when you’re on a date with the most sought after male in UA.

   Meanwhile, Shouto is also panicking.

   “Look man, you messed up once but that’s okay!” Denki cheered him up. “Experience is the best teacher.”

   “I know but. . .” Shouto took one deep breath, burying his face in his hands. “I-. . .I just froze up the moment I was in front of them.”

   “And that’s normal!”

   The moment you and Shouto parted ways, the male immediately went to Denki for some follow up consultation. Sure, he can fight villains face-to-face without batting an eye. Could freeze half of his enemies without a drop of sweat. Unleash an inferno of fire to defeat his oponent. Tolerate a bunch of fans shoving cameras up his face to get a close-up picture.

   But Todoroki Shouto, for the love of god, couldn’t ask you out without freezing in place and become a stuttering mess.

   “Lighten up man!” Denki nudged his shoulder. “Unleash the tiger inside you.”

   “But I don’t have a tiger inside me. That would be anatomically incorrect.”

   “Look—that’s not the—. . .what I mean is—uhh. . .nevermind. . .” the blond struggled with his words. He had to be careful with what advice he throw at Shouto. That man takes things way too literately. “What I mean is, toughen up. Have confidence on yourself. You’ll have (____) falling for you before you knew it.”

   Which will be easy since (____) is a simp for him, Denki thought.

   Shouto raised his fist then clenched it, determination washing over him. He gave one brief nod to his mentor (that is the personification of Pikachu).

   He can do it. Todoroki Shouto could do it.

   He’d go over his lines a thousand times before the date. He’d make sure he is 110% prepared before the weekend. Denki had made a dent in his schedule just to tutor him how to make you fall in love with him. Shouto wouldn’t let this go to waste.

   Yes, this man is prepared and is on a mission he couldn't possibly fail.

   Scratch that, Shouto’s a mess.

   He pulled the end of his sleeves, his legs bouncing up and down. The male bit the inside of his cheeks, was the weather hot or was it just his insides burning up. Shouto couldn’t sleep the night before, his mind kept him up. It was like 17 browser tabs are open, with three of them frozen, and he doesn’t know where the music is coming from.

   Due to the jitters getting the best of him, Shouto arrived at the agreed destination. . .two hours earlier than what was expected.

   Which wasn’t a problem anyway, since you did the same.

   You huffed, doubling over and placing your hands on your knees. You had ran from your house all the way to the cafe just to make sure you weren't late this time. In attempts to catch your breath, you’ve failed to notice your date standing just a few feet away from you. The minute Shouto laid his eyes on you, fire sparked deep within his heart. Someone pinch him and tell this wasn’t a dream.

   “(____),” he walked close to which startled you.

   “Sho! You-. . . you’re early!”

   “So are you. . .”

   Then silence fell between both of you. Talk about awkward. Who’s idea was it to get these two idiots in a date? If anything, both of you should’ve just left it on mutual pining and save it as a story for the grandchildren.

   Shouto cleared his throat, hands scratching the back of his neck. “Well, since we’re both early. Why won’t we enter the café?”

   You nodded, your voice box failing you. Inwardly, you were screaming your heart out. The embarrassment was just too much for you to handle. You doubt that Shouto would want a second date at this point.

   And so you lagged behind him, keeping a feet distance away from the male. You have a hard time looking at him without making a mess for yourself. Blood rushing your cheeks, it was hard to ignore the butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

   The café was quite small. A handful of potted plants hung outside, the store’s name written in calligraphy, and a few customers visible from the window. The establishment was newly built, Ochako introduced it to you about a week ago. The cheesecake they sell is to die for—it was definitely worth the hefty price.

   A small chime went off as Shouto opened the door. Then it hit you; the strong smell of coffee. You were not a big fan of the beverage, but you’ve got to admit that the scent was pleasant. Without prior warning, Shouto lightly held your hand in his. His thumb gliding over the back of your hand a few times. You took in a sharp inhale, eyes widening at his gesture.

   This is what they do in dates right? Shouto recalled his notes.

   So this is like a DATE date?? Not a friendly date? Somebody pinch me right now, you thought.

   “We should find a table,” he spoke, eyes refusing to make contact with yours. You’ve managed to stutter out an agreement, too occupied with the feeling of his hands. It was so warm—just the way you imagined it throughout the years.

   You could finally die now in peace. Goodbye cruel world.

   Soon enough, you and he are situated on a table near the window. Neither of you dare start a conversation, because god forbid another awkward interaction. Years worth of watching romance series could have never prepared you for such an instance. You wished you should’ve consulted some of your classmates—especially those who have experience in the topic of dating—before coming here yourself. You could try and message them, but you wondered if it would be rude to pull out your phone and ignore Shouto. No, you wouldn’t take the chance.

   “Uh- So how are you, (____)?” he asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

   “Oh, uhhh—. . .” how does one even speak again? “I’m doing well, I guess. . .?”

   That was lame, (____). Lame.

   “How about you?”

   Shouto was silent, you figured he didn’t hear you so you repeated yourself once again. All the while not looking at his direction. It would be better if you don’t see his face or you’ll turn into a puddle of mess.

   But seconds seem to drag to minutes, and that got you concerned.

   “Sho—“ you cut yourself short, realizing that he was staring at you with a lovestruck expression. He looks at you rather softly, like how one would look at a small pet one happens to cross by while walking. The way Shouto kept his gaze at you made you insecure. Was there something on your face? Hair? Shirt? Oh gods, did you smell?

   You wished that, right then and there, the earth would swallow you whole.

   “Sorry I was just. . .” he faltered in his sentence, gulping down his saliva. Shouto then turned his head to the side, a blush ever so present on his cheeks as well as the tips of his ears.

   "Sorry, you're just—just so cute in that outfit that I can’t help but stare."

   His voice was quiet, barely a whisper but you heard it, ironically, loud and clear. Your hand found its way on your mouth, blood rushing to your cheeks as a result of his compliment.

   “Tha-thank you. . .” you’ve managed to croak out, looking down and fiddling with your nails.

   Just. WOW. You can’t believe it. Never once did Shouto commented on your appearance throughout the duration of your friendship with him. What he did was just. . .just so unexpected from him. You find it hard to believe yourself.

   All these years, you’ve hidden your feelings for him. Trapped it inside a chest and swallowed the key yourself. Him falling for you is comparable to that of pigs flying; it was impossible to happen. Yet both of you sat there, like two dorks, a blushing mess while refusing to make eye contact with one another. For once, maybe this time, you could tell him how you feel.

   “I like you. . .” you voiced out your thoughts. It took you a minute to realize what you've done. You let out a small gasp and directed your attention to Shouto. He was also looking at you, baffled. He went silent, his jaw went slack, and eyes wide open, trying to find the words to reply.

   Oh boi, did you made a mistake?

   “(__—“

   “BECAUSE YOU’RE MY FRIEND!” Your jaw tightened, declaring it all too loudly just in case he rejects you. “I like you because you’ve been a good friend to me.”

   You hope you were doing this right.

   Unbeknownst to you, Shouto felt his heart break into two after hearing your added comment. His shoulders slumped down, sadness clouded his features.

   “I. . .I see. . .” he muttered. “I like you too,” he said after a pregnant pause.

   Your whole face lit up. Now it was your turn to look at him with a baffled expression. There was a twinkle in your eye, is this it? The moment of your life?

   “Because you’re my precious friend.” Shouto plastered a smile on his face.

   Oh. Welp, Mina and Denki tried.

   RIP to both of you, forever pushing the other in the friend zone.

ya’ll want a bakugo version of this? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ✧

#shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki #shoto x reader #mha #bnha #my hero academy #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mutual pining #reader insert

[fakeloveaskblog]

aw, sweet loceit in the evening sun. logan is actually super good at explaining healthy relationships and boundaries and stuff actually, i betcha he could recognize abuse no problem

…aye remy! REMY!! HAve you thought about going to that gay bar more often? who knows, maybe you'll encounter someone nice, make friends with like-minded people, hear some disco, the full nine yards. janus might be there, remus might be there. (just look around for the guy with the blue tie, he's a great guy, if he's not wearing it he'll look like he has that blue tie kinda energy! you could totally just get drunk and unload your grievances on him and i bet he won't even mind!)

(Mentions of U!Virgil but I say beforehand when that happens so those who don’t like U!Virgil can enjoy the rest of the fic up until then)

(Words: 4100)

Remy wiped away a tear while looking at your message. The cold light from their phone was the only thing brightening up the room. Virgil was sleeping beside them, his arm was laid around their waist.

"You just like tots gave me the greatest idea! I'm gonna invite Rem out to the bar! It's gonna the funnest thing like ever! Thanks girl!!"

--

2 days later Remus was dangerously close to eating the moss straight from the gay bar's wall. He had been left without supervision for over 15 minutes while he sat outside waiting for his friend to show up, what else was he supposed to do?!

"SSSSUUUP BABE!!!"

Remy came towards him as fast as they could. They had on a short leather skirt, a neon mesh crop top and a leather jacket over it.

They did a little turn "I just like felt a bit glamorous today!" 

Remus choked on his own spit "The world must be a dark place when you aren't feeling glamorous"

"Awwww babbbe"

He sent them a big grin. He'd just put on his usual oversized dysphoria hoodie and matching oversized (:O) sweatpants.

Remus' smile disappeared in an instant as he noticed dark bruises all around Remy's neck. Shades of purple and green collided against each other.

"Ehm did a vampire come and attack you last night? Seriously are you alri-"

"JUst a reminder that it will be loud in there" Remy interrupted.

"Oh. Right!"

He fumbled around in his bag after his headphones. After putting it and a chew necklace on he did a thumbs up. Remy took off their sunglasses and leaned down so they were face to face.

Their face was so close he could feel their breathe against his lips. They put the sunglasses onto him and sent him a soft smile.

“There’s like lots of bright lights too” They explained.

Remus’ heart fluttered. He didn’t understand why “T-thanks”

They moved their arm around his shoulders as they went into the bar. It was past 12 am so some of the daytime furniture had been moved to make place for a dancefloor. There was indeed lots of neon lights flickering all around the bar and fast pop music was blasting through the speakers.

It was hard to see any details of anyone around him so Remus quickly forgot about the bruise. In this lighting it just looked like a weird choker anyway.

A guy with a see through shirt bumped into Remus. He had top surgery scars. For a moment they looked at each other in the most knowing way. The stranger looked away and continued talking with whoever he was with.

Remus whole body seemed to vibrate. There were so many butterflies in his stomach it felt like he was going to puke, in a good way.

Remy sat him down on one of the tall barstools and slumped down right next to him “So whatcha gonna drink?”

“The squashed down organs of my enemies!!!” He shrugged “Soda?”

They burst out into laughter “What? You catholic or something? Not allowed to drink alcohol?”

He slumped in on himself and started fiddling with his necklace “I-I dunno-”

“No. No babe I was just like joking. Like a stupid bitch. It’s okay” They waved at the waiter “Your most alcoholic fruit mix and your finest coca cola please!”

Remus leaned in to whisper “With salt”

“With salt? Please!”

He kept vibrating like an overexcited weasel. After getting their drinks he kept tapping the glass to stim some of the happiness out.

“Honestly I’ve never been to a gay bar before. I’m digging it. Just like how I’m digging graves”

They playfully hit his shoulder “Then I’m tots gonna try my best to make this the  ultimate first gay bar experience! I can’t think of any other lil fucked up gremlin buddy I would wanna have by my side!”

"Muhahah!! I am officially assigned ultimate gremlin buddy-”

“Greetings” A voice suddenly came from behind them.

Both of them flinched away. Remy let out a short yell and Remus was close to throwing his drink in the person’s face when he saw it was just Logan.

He had on jeans and a black button up with the top button unbottoned. He had with him iced coffee from starbucks because he had to drive home later.

“LOGIE!!!” Remy threw their arms around his neck to pull him closer “Babe this is the Log-legend. Once he was like sooo drunk so when he like tried to kiss me puked on my shoes instead!”

Logan grimaced “I am still very sorry about that”

“Oh I already know him through Janus” Remus replied. 

“Oh my gawd babe” Remy looked between them all “So like we all know Janny?! Wig! Sad he isn’t here then”

Remus held up his cola “Cheers to J-anus!” The other two held up their glasses in agreement.

“Cheers”

“Cheerio!”

“He is very pretty and charming and cute” Logan dreamily sighed. He stopped himself from continuing to say compliments.

“Yeah” The other two sighed back in unison.

Logan sat down on a chair next to them. Remy looked around the bar before squinting at him “No Patty?”

He instantly started looking like a Very sad seal “Sadly my wife is away on a convention with her magical girl anime fanclub this whole week. I estimated that going to the bar would make me feel less lonely”

“You have a WIFe??? Like a real one???” Remus exclaimed, his eyeballs were close to popping out from surprise.

“Yes. This may be a controversial opinion but when I marry someone I prefer them to be physically real” He replied druly.

He got a smug grin on his lips “Does she peg you?”

“She does far more than just peg me”

“Nice!” His eyes went even wider “IS That a stim toy??!”

He pointed at the tangle Logan kept between his fingers “Correct. If I do not have something to relieve my focus onto I can easily go into senso- OH a chewie?”

Remus nodded while showing of his chew necklace. The two of them started rambling about their favorite stim toy. Until they went off into special interests (star trek/astronomy and art/animal biology respectively).

Soon enough Remus was showing pictures of the animal bones he’d found. Logan ooeh and ahhed at all of them before asking the most nerdy of questions (where he’d found them, their bone density, if any damage had been done to them) which only made Rem infodump which made Lo infodump which made them both happy stim.

Meanwhile Remy sat beside them completely zoned out. They got time to drink 2 more of those fruit mixes and a few shots. The room was starting to spin.

The loud music wasn’t keeping out the yelling. They dunked their forehead against the bar table and covered their ears to try and get it out. The music was supposed to keep it out! Why was nothing working! The bruise ached. Their throat closed in on itself until they couldn’t breathe. 

“Remus” They gasped out. They looked over to their friend with a desperate look in their eyes. They just needed a distraction.

“So my theory for why you keep finding bones in specifically that part of the woods is because of the kind of dirt making it take longer for them to deco-” Logan was explaining while Remus nodded along.

“Rem! L-let’s like go up and dance or something. Please” 

This time it caught Remus’ attention. He looked over to them “Sure- are you feeling alright? Did you drink too much? You’re looking like a mummy”

“Yes. No. I just like- Like- They’re playing Charli xcx of course we gotta like dance!!”

“I will protect your belongings then” Logan added.

Remy stumbled up on shaky legs. Remus sent them a warm smile that made them want to cry before taking their hand. He let them lead him out to the dancefloor. Honestly he was pretty nervous about it, but being with them always made some of the anxiety melt away.

They stumbled on their own feet and fell forward. Their friend took ahold of their wrists and pulled them close to his chest. Their faces were so close to each other. So so close.

He didn’t let go. They couldn't remember him ever letting them hold him this close. Their chests pressed against each other. Their arms around his shoulders. His hands on their back. 

"You’re right. It is a good song. Good to crash a car too" Remus said absentmindedly.

Remy let up into shaky giggles from how sudden he’d said it “Yeah. Yeah I guess” 

They kept giggling. He chuckled back. He started spinning around on the dancefloor. They moved with him. His arms wrapped closer around their waist. Their cheek leaned against the slope of his neck (even though they had to lean down to get on his height level).

Remy quietly sang along to the music which made Remus start yelling along to it. The enby threw their head back from laughter. They took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

Remus moved his hand out and spun them around before pulling them close again. Their cheeks were flushed red, his was as well. He playfully dipped them down when the song ended.

It continued on into a song neither of them knew but they kept dancing anyway. They didn’t stay as pressed close to each other but they always had some contact. Holding hands. An arm around a waist. A head leaning against a chest.

When they finally got back to the bar table they were both panting. Remy was completely leaning on Remus since their body had started to hurt, but even through the pain they were both bubbling over with so much happiness they kept breaking out into bouts of giggling.

To their surprise Logan wasn’t sitting alone. A tall person with long dark hair sat on the chair beside him. Xir hand was on his thigh. The nerd had a soft smile on his face as they leant close to talk.

“Uh Lo?” Remus had to wave his arms around to get his attention.

His head shot around to look at them “Hello” He glanced to the person “These are the ones I was protecting belongings for” He stood up and held out his hand “Shall we?” Xir took it. Logan waved at his friends before going off to the dancefloor with the stranger.

“Huh. Good for him” 

“I guess”

Remy ordered another high alcohol fruit mix. Remus happily chewed on his necklace while humming along to the music. Between their chairs their hands hang with their fingers intertwined. Holding their hand had started to make Remus feel all funny in the head for some reason.

The enby watched on as Logan and the stranger danced for a bit before moving to a corner to make out. When the stranger started to lead him towards the bar’s bathrooms Remy turned to their friend.

“Yeah okay he’s not coming back for like a while. Smoke break?”

“Of course!”

They finished their drink before leaving the bar. The pair stopped right outside. Remus sat down on the side of the pavement. Remy tried to sit down but they stumbled over themself and fell flat on the ground.

Remus got up to help “Are you okay? Are you sure you haven’t drank too much?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine” They laughed out.

He sat them down on the pavement while dusting off their clothes. He patted them on the head while pouting “You should get some water”

“Naaaah babe. I’m good”

In the moonlight the bruise was visible again. That horrible dark purple bruise around their neck. It looked like it hurt.

Remus put his hand on their shoulder “Beanie are you alright? I do know it wasn’t some halloween monster that got you that bruise”

For a moment their whole body tensed, they forced a smile “It’s fine. me and my boyf just tried like some new kinky shit in the bedroom y’know. Nothing more” They lied.

They took out a cigarette pack and a lighter from their bag. They traced their thumb over Remus’ lower lip and opened his mouth just slightly. Remy leaned closer while putting a cigerette between his lips. They lit it.

Remus took a deep breathe. It’d been a while since he’d last smoked. He leaned so close the cigarette nearly touched Remy’s skin. They parced their lips as he breathed out the smoke right into their mouth.

A smile spread on their lips. He held the cigarette over to them but they shook their head. They looked around in their bag again and took out a small poppers bottle.

“Should you really take that. Won’t your brain melt out of your ears?” Remus asked “I really don’t wanna have to slorp up your brain juice...yet”

“Relax babe. It’s like not dangerous as long as I don’t like take too much and I only take when partying” It took a moment before they quietly added “And I only party when I need to get out of the apartement”

“What?”

They forced on a bigger smile “What?”

Remy moved the popper up to their nose and inhaled as much of it as they could. It took a few seconds before they let up into a giggle. It was in a higher tone than their usual bubbly laugh, it almost sounded like cackling. They could see stars.

(U!Virgil mentions from here on out)

“Y’know my boyfriend gave me like a flashback or whatever last night” They giggled while swaying from side to side.

Remus gently grabbed their shoulders and moved them to lean against him so they wouldn’t fall over “Uhu. Did you stab him?”

“No silly. He just. He’d been soooo sweet all weeek and I just I just ruined it ‘cause i like overeacted to some joke he made while like we were washing the dishes” They were barely even aware they were speaking “And like it just kept going until we were like screaming at each other”

Remy was still smiling and giggling between every word but tears started to form in their eyes. Their fingers felt numb. Bile was rising in their throat.

“And he just like threw the plate he was holding down on the ground. And it like didn’t hit me. He wasn’t even aiming at me. He was just throwing it at the ground. But it shattered and it was so stupid and overemotional and stupid and pathetic but I just I just curled up on the floor and like had a panic attack like a stupid baby”

They smeared their hand across their face to try and get the tears away. They felt sick. Remus quickly put out his cigarette, it didn’t feel like the right time to smoke.

“And I just like- Is that normal? Is that fine? Like throwing stutff like that? I-I- he’s never done it before. Or I mean like not plates” They looked up at Remus “Is it fine?”

He gulped while fiddling with his hoodie sleeve “Well uh did he apologize?”

“Mhmm. He like- like for some minutes he like kept yelling ‘cause he thought I was just like faking a panic attack to like I dunno manipulate him but then he like comforted me and like calmed me down and like held me and cuddled all night until I fell asleep and- and he said sorry a bunch of times and like he said it would never happen again. He uh usually doesn’t lie”

“Well ehm then it should be fine right? Right?” They both shrugged at each other “I mean everyone can make mistakes! And it was during an argument! Everyone does drastic things during an arguments! So it’s fine. I think”

A shaking breathe of relief left Remy’s lips. They stretched themself over his lap and he moved his arms around them. “Thanks babe. I was like tots worried for a bit but y’know i was thinking like that too. So it’s fine”

“Yeah” He combed his fingers through their hair “You do know you can vent to me whenever right? I promise I won’t gross you out with details about how to pull out rabbit teeth ever again so if I can hold that back then I can also listen to stuff! I can super listen!!”

They closed their eyes. They felt so tired. So tired and sick and horrible. “Mhm. I know babe. I know”

Remy sent him a soft smile before suddenly puking. Some of it came on his pants but mostly on the ground. Remus stood up and carefully moved them down to a sitting position.

He rubbed up and down their back with one hand and held their hair back with his other. Their shoulders were shaking and they were taking in shallow breathes between every sudden throw up.

“It’s okay beanie-boo. Breathe. Breathe. You got all the time in the world. Until the sun blows up at least”

“I-I took- too much- too much” They slurred out before lurching forward again. It seemed to stop for now.

“I’m aware” He carefully wiped away some of the puke left around their mouth with his hoodie sleeve.

They leaned back against his chest. They closed their eyes and focused on breathing. He held them so so gently. As if they would break like glass otherwise. He pressed a kiss to the top of their head.

“There you are!” Logan said as came through the bar entrance “What a relief. I assumed you had left without me because you thought my actions were unacceptable” He noticed how pale and shaky Remy looked and got a worried look on his face “Is everything alright?”

“They feel like someone has slammed a fish into their stomach. Not good” Remus replied.

“I see. I suppose it woud be best to get them home”

Logan picked Remy up with ease to carry them to his car. He was quite sure he’d carried dogs that weighted more than them. Remus anxiously followed along.

He sat them in the passenger seat. He shook their shoulders until they opened their eyes. They let out a quiet whine.

He held up 4 fingers “Remy how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Fuck yourself”

“Noted”

They moved to the side and seemed to pass out again. Logan closed the door before turning to Remus.

“Did they take anything?” He whispered.

“Only a popper”

“Good. Do you need a ri-”

“Bus”

“Okay” Logan was about to go but stopped midstep and lowered his voice even more “Oh and Rem...Could you please not ask Janus to hang out next weekend? I am planning a surprise...I hope it will make him happy”

“Good luck comrade....Please text me once Remy is home safe. Please?”

“Of course”

He did a little nod before leaving. Logan got into the car. He couldn’t stop looking at the bruise around their neck. Remy continued to sleep for most of the ride until they they were 5 minutes or so away from their apartment. They suddenly flinched awake.

“Stop the car!” They gasped out. 

“Are you still feeling the same?”

“Logan stop the fucking car!” There was fear in their eyes. 

Logan stopped by the side of the road. The road was barren and dark. It had to be past 3 am at least. Remy crawled back into the backseats while their whole body shook.

“Don’t. Look. At. Me”

“Sure” He stared down into the steering wheel to not accidentally see their reflection in the glass.

“I just. I just have to change clothes. I just. I don’t want Virigl to call me a whore again. I mean. He won’t. But what if. What if he gets mad. I just. I just have to change” They slurred out.

They stumbled out of the car after changing into a pair of long pants and closing their leather jacket. A cold chill went up Logan’s spine. He quickly stepped out of the car as well.

“Okay bye bye Logie!!”

They tried to move but Logan grabbed onto their shoulders. He forced back a choking feeling in his throat “What do you mean by your boyfriend getting mad?”

“Pff! It’s nothing! I’m drunk!! Byyyeeeeee”

They started to stumble away but Logan easily followed along “It did not sound like he called you a whor-...you know what...with your consent. I am simply going to remind you that calling a partner things like that is not okay. Not in any circumstance”

Remy’s expression turned cold. They walked faster “I don’t like what you’re implying”

“I’m not implying anything”

“Yes you Fucking are!”

“Exscuse me for being worried about your wellbeing. What you just said sounded like a very bad sign”

“Yeah exactly it only SOUnded bad! My boyfriend isn’t bad!” Remy snarled out.

“I am not saying he is. He doesn’t have to be bad to say awful things, as long as he changes”

They shoved their hands into their pockets. Their hands moved into fists “You don’t know a fucking thing about me. You tried to kiss me once when you were drunk and that’s all. We don’t know each other”

Logan took a deep breathe “I don’t need to know you to see red flags. Remy-” He searched for words “Remy you’re bruised. How- you can’t expect me to not get worried”

Remy suddenly stopped and turned around to meet his eyes. “MY BOYFRIEND ISN’T ABUSIVE! I-”

“I’m not necessarily saying he is. I just wan’t to talk-” His voice started to sound desperate.

They looked like a cornered animal. Tears were brimming at the edges of their eyes “YOU DON’T KNOW A THING!”

“Remy-”

“I DID THIS TO MYSELF!” Their hand went up to the bruise “I DESERVED IT! VIRGIL DIDN’T DO A FUCKING THING! I DID! I TOOK A BELT AND HURT MYSELF! OKAY?! VIRGIL CARES ABOUT ME!”

He tried to sound soothing “Remy please take a deep breathe-”

“NO! NO! YOU KNOW WHAT LOGAN?! THERE IS STILL CUM ON YOUR FUCKING LIPS FROM YOU SUCKING OFF SOME STRANGER IN A DIRTY BATHROOM! SO NO! I AM NOT TAKING LOVE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS CHEATING ON HIS GODDAMN WIFE!”

They stormed away. For a moment Logan was frozen in place before he forced himself to run after them to try and make sure they would be okay.

“I am not-”

Remy looked at him for one last time. The look in their eyes made him feel cold. It was pure hatred.

“Logan get the fuck away from me! I am drunk and high and alone on a street with no one but you who is sure as hell fucking stronger than me and all you’re doing is spouting bullshit! So please get why I want you to leave. And why I don’t ever want you to talk to me again!”

He stopped dead in his tracks “...Right....Yes....I am so sorry”

Remy didn’t even respond. They simply turned and walked away. Logan stayed and watched to make sure they got home to the apartment safe before going back to his car.

He slumped down in the seat. His heart was racing and his thoughts were for once an illogical flurry. He sat motionless for several minutes before finally getting some semblence of an idea.

He took out his phone and dialed one of his usual numbers. It took several signals before Emile Picani picked up.

“Mhm? Logie bear? I can’t today I have clients in the morning” He yawned out.

“This is about one of your patients. I am fearing that they are in danger”

In an instant all of the sleepyness in Emile’s voice disappeared “In danger? Physical? Is it urgent? Do I need to call someone? Which patient are you even referring to?”

Logan hesitated. If Remy had reacted that strongly to him just attempting to ask about his boyfriend it was very likely that they would stop going to therapy if Emile brought it up. His throat tightened, he didn’t want to put them in any more danger.

“I....Nevermind Emile....This was just a far too gone joke...Someone dared me to call you. I am sorry. Have a good night”

He ended the call. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and let out a long sigh. His hands held onto the wheel so hard his knuckles whitened.

Logan had no idea what to do. No idea at all. All he knew was fear. Fear for Remy’s safety. Fear for their well being. Fear that anything he did would only make their situation worse.

#mini fic #remus sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #sanders sides #remsleep #resleep #rem^2 #these sure keep getting longer huh #its past 4 am #fun

[go-dark-turtle]

(Here it is Chapter 2 of Hamon Daze. If you haven't read chapter 1 I suggest giving it a quick read before this one. You can find it here

Just like the first chapter there is a saucy n spicy warning if you wish not to read further. Also @thisbloghasnoaesthetic has been a HUGE inspiration for me to continue this saga. Now let's continue~ onwards to Caesar's revenge. 😎)

Hamon Daze

Chapter 2: Caesar's Revenge

(A Caesar x female reader fanfiction Saucy n Spicy edition)

The next morning Caesar stirred awake and rubbed his eyes, a fake set of eyelashes fell onto his bedsheets and he picked them up to exam them.

"What the hell is this?" He pondered to himself confused.

He looked over to his table and noticed his beloved vase was gone, did JoJo steal it again? He sighed with annoyance and headed to his small en-suite bathroom. He softly yawned as he opened the door and looked up at the mirror.

"MUMMA MIA! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP ON MY FACE!" Caesar screamed as he looked at himself in the mirror. His lips were bright pink, purple on his eyelids and red rosy cheeks.

He was furious, he knew JoJo was behind this. He grabbed his washcloth and a towel and scrubbed everything off except for his red rosy cheeks. He gritted his teeth trying to get rid of the redness in his cheeks but he sighed in defeat, he was starting to get hungry.

***Meanwhile across the hallway***

You and Joseph were in Joseph's bed giggling hearing Caesar's reaction to your prank.

"If only we could see his face" You giggled.

"Heh, the best part is he has to eat breakfast with a pretty face ohhhh!" Joseph made a kissy face mocking Caesar.

You both giggled and cuddled but it all came to a halt when you both heard Caesar open his bedroom door.

"JOJO! Are you awake? Get your arse down stairs for breakfast!" Caesar called heading straight to Joseph's bedroom door.

Joseph scrambled out of bed with you, he pushed you into his wardrobe and slammed the door. Caesar slowly turned the doorknob, the door clicked open and Joseph's eyes widened.

"CAESAR I'M AWAKE! DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!" He panicked at the italian about to see him in the nude.

"UGH! I didn't need to imagine that first thing in the morning... just hurry up and get down there" Caesar screwed up his face and let go of the door knob and walked down the spiral staircase to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that Y/N" Joseph opened the wardrobe door and you sat up in a daze.

"It's okay JoJo. I'd rather hide than face Caesar right now oh man he sounded pretty annoyed, but oh my god he sounded repulsed at the idea of seeing you naked." You giggled

"Glad you aren't repulsed seeing me naked Y/N. Ah we shouldn't keep the others waiting... though after lunch time we could always meet up" He winked, you immediately went bright red.

*** Meanwhile in the kitchen***

Suzie and Lisa Lisa were at the table having a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. Caesar walked in and grinned at Suzie and took her hand in his.

"Mamma mia. You look so bellissima this morning, Suzie." Caesar kissed her hand and sat down next to her. "I didn't get a chance to ask you yesterday. How was your trip to town with Y/N?"

Suzie giggled "Grazie Caesar, well we got everything including a lovely blue dress for Lisa Lisa. Ah we even stopped for some lunch and that's when she told me something about you... ohhh.. umm.."

She clasped her hands over her mouth, Caesar looked at her with his emerald eyes and gently pulled them away. "What did she say tesoro?"

Suzie blushed she couldn't resist his gaze "Well she admitted you were attractive...."

"Oh? Maybe that explains her attitude last night..." Caesar whispered to her.

Lisa Lisa watched them both rolling her eyes and sipped her orange juice. Just then both you and Joseph scrambled into the kitchen giggling and nearly knocking over the other chairs in the room.

"JoJo! Y/N! You are both late care to explain yourselves?" Lisa Lisa folded her arms

"Sorry Lisa Lisa. Because of Caesar making me run laps around Fight island... I woke up late this morning..." You turned your head away from him trying to keep a straight face, one because of his red rosy cheeks and two you started to see how handsome he was.

"Yeah Caesar's snoring echoed into my room and also made me wake up late..." Joseph shrugged and winked at Caesar “Oh someone is a little blushy this morning"

Caesar huffed and shrugged "Well aren't you obsvert this morning!" He looked at you and noticed your shirt missing two buttons. "Say Y/N why aren't you wearing your pjs? Did you fall asleep in your clothes?"

You clench your fists and looked down your face went bright red from what actually happened "Well uhhh."

Caesar knew something was up and he wanted to find out what was going on. "Perhaps you can tell me later.. JoJo hurry up we have training with Messina and Loggins. Don't forget Y/N you are training with Lisa Lisa this morning."

You sighed with relief "Oh good.. " You giggled nervously "Ah I mean um.. right thank you for the heads up..."

*** After Breakfast ***

Caesar returned to his room to get ready, he opened his wardrobe and noticed his jackets and his tank tops were lying in the bottom of the wardrobe. He was confused why they would be lying there. As he picked them up and placed them on his bed to smooth them out he noticed a button. He picked it up and realised it belonged to you. He knew JoJo was behind the whole make up prank but did you also join him?

He smirked "Bingo! I finally have evidence..."

He grew more curious, he had a feeling you didn't return to your room last night. He sneaked into JoJo's room while he was in his shower singing very loudly. Caesar's gut feeling paid off, another button he pocketed from the floor. He quietly left and returned to his room to get ready for morning practice.

***During morning practice***

You followed Lisa Lisa to the docks for a light work out with her but, an intense training session awaited Caesar and Joseph over on Fight island. The boys focused their fingertips on the spikes in the centre and held their whole body weight with their hamon, while the tall trainers ran laps around Fight island keeping an eye of the boys from all angles.

"By the way JoJo" Caesar whispered to Joseph "I know you put that ridiculous crap on my face..."

"Heh. So you figured me out.. But you can't prove it to Messina or Loggins without proof." Joseph whispered back with a smirk.

"Oh? Well perhaps your partner in crime will definitely tell me everything." Caesar smirked and pulled out the buttons from his pocket giving them a quick flash to JoJo.

"Huh? what do you mean my partner.... wait they are from Y/N's shirt! Where did you find them?" Joseph started to sweat a little.

Caesar finally caught him and put them back in his pocket "Well I went to check on you earlier, I opened your door and found one of them on the floor. The other in my wardrobe."

Joseph started to wobble and his breathing nearly went out of sync, he knew he couldn't get out of this one.

"JoJo concentrate more!" Messina shouted at him

"Sorry..." Joseph called his trainer and closed his eyes and tried to focus again. He grunted and whispered to the italian glaring at him "What do you want Caesar..."

"Nothing. I just needed you to confirm everything for me.. Oh, and have fun running around fight island" Caesar smirked and nudged him off balance

"Wha.." Joseph tried to question him before he was knocked off balance and he nearly landed in the spikes.

The tall trainers stopped in their tracks and pulled Joseph out the pit they pointed and scolded him for not paying attention and told him to run 50 laps around fight island. Caesar smirked and launched himself into the air and bowed at his trainers before heading back inside.

***An Hour later in the kitchen for lunch***

Morning practice had wiped you out, you rested your head on the table not wanting to move a muscle, Lisa Lisa went over the basics twice.

"Ah Y/N was training with madam Lisa Lisa really that tiring?" Suzie poked your shoulder

"Leave her be Suzie. I'll allow her to rest for now but I'm sure Caesar will get her back on track after lunch" Lisa Lisa sipped her coffee and looked at the door seeing Caesar walk in.

Your eyes widened at the thought of intense training with Caesar, his training was difficult enough. Now you didn't want to face him knowing he would pick up your guilty energy.

"Buon pomeriggio ladies, how was your morning ?" He smiled at Lisa Lisa his voice was so soft it made your cheeks flare up. Did he always sound like this?

"Well Y/N seems to be distracted, Caesar I'll need you to go over the basics again." Lisa Lisa huffed and wasn't impressed by your mornings poor efforts.

"Huh? Funny thing JoJo was the same." He pretended to be surprised. He knew you two were up to no good the night before.

"Oh JoJo is lacking too! Oh my, do you think they have a cold or something?" Suzie was concerned. Caesar giggled at the ridiculous idea.

You looked up to see Caesar's smirk, your cheeks flared up and hid your face in your hands. He squatted next to you and patted your head. "Rest up lil Y/N because later we will go over everything.... again" He looked at Lisa Lisa "Um Madam Lisa Lisa, is the bath house free this afternoon?"

"Yes it's free, Messina and Loggins are having the afternoon off. I'm with JoJo after lunch. Did you have something in mind?" Lisa Lisa was curious.

"Just thought a reminder of the basics might be helpful in there." Caesar nodded, you groaned in frustration, you already went over them TWICE and now a third time with Caesar this was going to be hell.

She nodded "Very well and perhaps a clean up might also help Y/N get her mind to focus." She took a bite out of her sandwich. You were more nervous than on your first day. Caesar bowed to his teacher and looked back down to you.

"Oh and in case you wondered where JoJo is Y/N." He took your hand away from your face and gently guided you to the window. He noticed your blush and how nervous you were around him compared to the night before.

You blushed more feeling his large leather glove touch your hand and his fingertips gently gripping your smaller hand. You saw Joseph run laps around fight island, he was already exhausted but he kept going, whining to his trainers. You swallowed hard, you felt this was all Caesar's doing and you were next.

*** 20 minutes later***

You nervously followed behind Caesar heading to the bath house on the right side of the island. You had no idea what he had in store but you knew it was going to be exhausting, with Caesar boasting for sure. You carried a bucket, mop and a few cleaning supplies trying to keep with Caesar.

"Come on lil Y/N we are almost there." Caesar smirked while waiting on you with his hands on hips.

"Caesar please, I can't carry this all by myself." You whined as you caught up trying your best not to look at his beautiful green eyes.

"Well if you paid attention to this morning's practice you wouldn't be in this mess now would you?" Caesar folded his arms and raised his eyebrow.

You sighed in defeat, he smirked again and opened the door to the bath house and held the door to the first room. Inside was a giant shared bath by the balcony and showers on the right of the room with benches either side and lockers on the left with a sink behind the door.

"Okay Y/N set everything on that bench over there and stand up straight" Caesar slammed the door shut and glared at you.

You gulped and nervously set everything down and stood in the middle of the room. You looked down, you knew you were in deep trouble. Caesar walked behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders. You looked ahead, your eyes widen, feeling his hands on your shoulders. You had never seen this side of Caesar before, even though you were nervous your mind raced with the idea of kissing him.

"You are in for a treat let me tell you." He leaned in closer and whispered. Your thought bubble was popped by his comment, especially with the tone of his voice, your eyes widened, you swallowed hard and your hands began to shake releasing the reality of what's going on. He smirked more knowing his comment made you sweat, he licked his lips.

"I know you helped JoJo with his little prank, I'm not very impressed you messed up my beautiful face." He reached into his pocket and held your hands open and placed your buttons in your hand "Don't leave evidence behind next time."

You looked down at them, your whole body was shaking, you were caught out, you spun around and clasped your hands and dropped to your knees, dropping the buttons and closing your eyes shut. "I'm so sorry Caesar, please dont tell Lisa Lisa!"

Caesar barked at you while grabbing the bucket and held it out. "We'll see about that, on your feet now! Hands behind your back!" Your eyes sprung open, his voice was so cold and commanding.

You nodded and did as he said, he walked behind you and placed the bucket in your hands. You looked down not daring to look back, you knew this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"I'm disappointed in you Y/N, I thought you were the type to behave. Tsk, tsk, I guess that's what happens when you get involved with JoJo." Caesar waggled his finger. "It's such a shame I have to punish you like this Y/N, you are so pretty, but you know this brings back memories of when I didn't behave."

You looked up and loved hearing he thought you were pretty, you shook your head trying to stay focused by trying to get on his good side "You misbehaved one time?! That isn't like you Caesar."

"Don't be cute with me Y/N, well it was 3 years ago when I first arrived on the island...." Caesar pointed at you and thought back to his early training days.

***Three years ago***

Caesar was summoned to the Island to meet Lisa Lisa upon meeting her he held her hand and kissed it "My, my, you are sbalorditiva. It's such an honour to train under your beauty" Caesar winked at her.

"My training is very strict, I expect nothing but the best." Lisa Lisa pulled her hand away trying to keep her cool from his flirting.

"Hm, well you are looking right at him, say why not we skip the training and get right into the good part and perhaps we can kiss with a moonlight diner later." Caesar flashed his smile at her. "You can come too, Suzie I wouldn't want to leave you out."

Suzie blushed at his actions but Lisa Lisa wasn't impressed. She folded her arms "You lack respect, I'll knock that out of you before we continue..."

"Oh I bet you will." Caesar smirked "Oh my Lisa Lisa aren't we jumping into this far too quickly? We haven't even kissed yet." He raised his eyebrows, with his mind thinking unspeakable things.

Lisa Lisa huffed. "Just come with me!"

He followed her to the bath house and instructed him to hold the bucket behind his back, at first he smirked thinking it was easy but within a few minutes she brought over hamon fused water and slowly filling up the bucket, his body started to shake and his arms were like jelly.

"Please Lisa Lisa I'm sorry, please let me have a break my arms are going to fall off. I'm sorry I was disrespectful towards you please forgive me." Caesar pleaded almost in tears.

"From now on you will respect my training methods and respect me as your teacher, not some girl in the streets. Do you understand?" Lisa Lisa stopped bringing over more water and watched him quiver.

"I promise! I'm so sorry madam Lisa Lisa, I will promise to respect you from here on in!" Caesar cried out his hands shaking

"Good, you may let go of the bucket" Lisa Lisa smirked.

Caesar released the bucket and dropped to his knees not caring his legs got wet from the water spilling everywhere. "From now on I'll take your training seriously."

***End of Flashback***

Your eyes widened. He was going to give you the same treatment you opened your mouth but he placed his finger over it. You blushed at how close he was. The scent coming from his tank top, a combination of white flowers, rose, lily of the valley and sandalwood. He smelt so nice and very comforting. The bubble of comfort from his scent popped as he pulled away from you.

"Hush now lil Y/N, it's time for you to receive your punishment and unlike what happened to me, you know how to use hamon, so I need you to hold that bucket but keep the water in place do you understand?" Caesar walked over to the sink and grinned

You nodded and held the bucket tightly he brought over a handful and dropped it into the bucket, at first you had no problems but as he got to the 5th handful that's when you felt the tension in your arms. Caesar knew exactly how you felt and went for a 6th handful.

Loggins had finished with his lunch. He made a quick detour through the bath house hallway to get to the docks to enjoy his well deserved afternoon off and that's when he heard you and Caesar talking. He stopped by the door and listened in.

"Please Caesar my arms hurt, please let me take a break!" You cried out to him

"Quit whining I'm not done yet, just endure it a little more." Caesar barked back

"I'm already at my limit Caesar please, I can't hold it anymore!" You whined more.

Loggins clasped his hands over his mouth "Good heavens what on earth are they doing in there" He couldn't stop listening as if it was like a trainwreck, he pressed his ear against the door and listened more.

"Y/N, I'll be nice and let you lean against the bench but keep those hands where they are." Caesar sighed.

You knelt on the floor and your chest leaning onto the bench it felt a little better, but your arms still ached. Caesar walked in front of you and raised his eyebrows, while giving you a disappointed look.

"I said you can lean, not kneel, now get that cute butt of yours in the air" Caesar loved that he was in control heading to the sink once more.

"Sorry Caesar" You blushed and sighed. You raised your legs and buttocks, the bucket was almost at max capacity leaning your chest still on the bench. You gripped with all your might and charged hamon through the bucket keeping everything in place.

"Perfect, now let's add some more shall we, I'll be nice with just my pinky finger, instead of my hand." He smirked as he walked over with a glob of water encased around his pinky finger.

"No Caesar, please I can't handle anymore, anything but that!" You pleaded out in a panicked cry

Caesar didn't appreciate you answering him back, he clapped his hands in front of you making the water explode over your face you shivered on the spot. Loggins couldn't handle listening anymore and he scurried out of the hallway and headed straight to the docks horrified.

You looked up to Caesar your arms felt like they were about to break, you clenched your eyes shut and screamed "Please, I'm sorry I followed JoJo in his prank, I'm sorry I didn't go back to my room, I'm sorry, please Caesar, let me drop the bucket, I'll do anything!"

"Anything you say?" Caesar leaned in close the smell of his scent felt comforting again, you opened your eyes seeing his emerald eyes shine. "Well perhaps that kiss I wanted from you last night might be enough to let me stop this punishment and of course keep hush hush."

You bit your lip, no way out of this one, you sighed and closed your eyes but slowly loved the idea of Caesar kissing you, but stood your ground. "Fine, but just one kiss."

"That won't be a problem, one is all I need." Caesar finally had what he wanted.

He knocked the bucket out of your hands and spilled the contents everywhere. You sighed with relief but before you could shake your arms from the aching pains, Caesar scooped his hand under your back and you fell backwards into his arms. You flinched thinking you were about to fall but you looked up and saw his bright emerald eyes lock onto yours. You blushed hard in his arms looking up at him he looked so handsome and you couldn't help but stare at his face.

"You'll fall for me guaranteed." He smirked with an evil glint in his eye. "You can't resist me"

Before you had a chance to say anything his lips crashed into yours he held you close at first you were shaking but soon enough you held onto his shoulders, closing your eyes all while enjoying his powerful kiss. He knew you couldn't resist his soft lips. He held you close and deepened the kiss, you gasped at how amazing he was at kissing.

He pulled away from the kiss you were in a complete daze, your face bright red, he smirked and looked down at you " Hmm, I'm glad a little birdie told me that you thought I was attractive."

"Well about that ..." You went super quiet and turned your face away from him.

"It's okay Y/N I understand, so if you like shall we continue?" He nodded and cupped your chin.

You couldn't resist as if he put you under a spell. You nodded a thousand times and looked to his face, you wanted him so badly you couldn't wait anymore and he knew it. The kiss unlocked everything.

(SAUCY N SPICY WARNING)

"Relax for me my darling" Caesar sat on one of the benches and had you sitting on his lap both facing him, your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Both of you had discarded your tank tops and they landed on the other side of the room. He gently pressed his palms, while wearing his leather gloves, against your nipples, you blushed and gasped at the feel and how cold they were.

"Sorry Caesar, it's just your gloves are so cold.." You looked up at him softly gasping.

"Oh then perhaps I should try something else out instead." He smiled with an evil glint.

He brought his hands together and clapped them and then formed two large bubbles. He caught them with his hamon and smirked, he pressed them against your nipples, the hamon energy clamped onto your skin and no matter how much you squirmed you couldn't release their tight grip.

"That's your punishment for.... last night." He whispered in your ear and nipped your neck

You jolted back in pain and pleasure, almost falling off Caesar's lap. You tried to pop the bubbles with your own hamon, Caesar gripped your hands and held them in place with one of his hands while slowly pulling off his headband.

"So naughty Y/N, so now you need more discipline." Caesar shook his head.

He knelt you onto the floor and tied your arms behind your back with his headband, you looked up not knowing what side of Caesar was coming up next. He crouched next to you and gently tilted your chin upwards again and planted another kiss on your lips. He softly hummed and locked his eyes on you as he dragged his hands down your stomach and gently unbuckled your belt and unzipped your jeans. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, his hand slipped in and he gently rubbed the fabric of your underwear against your sensitive nub.

"Caesar.. it's too much please slow down" You rested your head on his chest panting hard as he made small fast circles.

"Hmmm, that's going to be a no Y/N, this will teach you to behave." Caesar smirked.

He continued on, his other hand reached down his own jeans and gently pleasured himself at the same time with you, he licked and bit his lip, you grew more and more wet with his long fingers rubbing against you.

"Oh my, feels like you are enjoying this, your panties are soaked." Caesar licked his lips "Alright, since you're so excited I'll let you have a break but you have to do something for me..."

You let out a soft moan when he pulled his hand out from your jeans, he smirked and kicked off his jeans all that remained was his dark blue boxers. You looked up and saw how excited he was, the nerves kicked in.

"Hmm, well since I made you feel good, it's time you made me feel good, I'll need you to be creative Y/N. You are only allowed to use your mouth, so what are you waiting to get to work!" Caesar placed his hand on his hip and brought you closer gently gripping your hair.

He opened his legs as he sat back down on the bench, you sat by his legs. He smirked, you looked down at his boxers and leaned in gently trying to work out what to do. Your eyes beamed when you noticed the buttons, you gently tugged the first button with your teeth prying it free, once you got the hang of the technique all three of the buttons were loose. You sighed and grinned sitting back while having a breather.

"I don't have all day Y/N, get busy!" He shoved your face back in, he was certainly excited.

You darted out your tongue and reached in the opening of his boxers and encouraging his length to pop out by curling and wrapping your tongue against him. After a few minutes of trial and error it eventually popped out, you saw it in all its glory it was average sized but thick. You swallowed hard and started to lick the tip gently not wanting to screw this up.

"Ah Y/N... your tongue is like heaven please don't stop.." Caesar threw his head back in bliss and patted your head again.

You loved how he tasted and how smooth he was, you shifted forward more and gently suckled on his tip leaving small kisses on him inbetween. Caesar was in bliss; he softly moaned and closed his eyes.

"Y/N please more... please..." He was begging for you.

You loved to hear his soft moans and hear him beg for you was something you thought you'd never hear, it made you more excited. The bubbles clamped on your nipples bopped against his thighs as you sucked him deeper causing more friction for your nipples. He was almost at his limit.

"Ah okay that's enough" Caesar quickly pulled you away and pulled off his boxers. "For now..."

You sat there arms still bound, the bubbles still clamped on your nipples catching your breath. He smirked, bending down to you and gently removing the rest of your clothes. He walked back to the bench and leaned over to pick up the mop.

"Y/N you did such a good job, how about a reward, hm?" He looked down at you with a smirk. Holding the mop tightly in his hands `

"What did you have in mind Caesar...?" You were frozen on the spot looking at his smirk, what in the world was he going to do.

He sat back down and brought you forward again, your eyes focused on his thighs, he was twitching with excitement. He looked down at you and smirked, holding the mop head in his hand, he guided the wooden handle down to your sensitive and wet area and gently rubbed it against your outside folds.

"AH CAESAR!" You moaned out it felt so good rubbing against your sensitive area, you flung your head back and bit your lip.

"Hm, that's what I like to hear now let's finish this." Caesar tilted his head and winked while he pushed your head into his crotch again.

You quickly suckled on him, your tongue licking and wrapping around, as he gently rubbed the wooden handle against your sensitive nub, you were so close your body was shaking you wanted to release your wave of pleasure so badly.

"Ah Y/N, you have such a talented tongue... oh god..." Caesar began to shake along with you.

You picked up the pace hoping he would do the same, he unleashed his wave inside your mouth you let go of him and swallowed it all you looked up to him panting hard wanting him to rub your nub more to let you finish.

"I think we are finished now" He threw the mop aside and looked down at you "Aww don't look at me like that Y/N, I did say this was a punishment"

You begged for him to continue. You wanted to have that satisfaction like he did, he shook his head and he released the bubbles from your nipples. He slowly walked behind you squatting down untied his headband, wrapping it around his forehead again.

*Cue Roundabout*

"Don't think this is over yet, Y/N. Both you and JoJo still need to learn your lesson. Whether he likes it or not, I know you'll behave for me." He smirked and pointed at you as he stood up "Meet me in my room tonight, 9pm sharp and don't be late."

You sat there with your eyes wide following his movements, your nerves kicked in again your body began to shake.

"Oh and don't worry, I'll be sure to tell JoJo...." he leaned by your ear and whispered

"Everything...."

[<--------To Be Continued----------]

Chapter 3

#jojo bizarre adventure #caesar zeppeli #caesar x reader #battle tendency #saucy n spicy

[gingerest-ale]

YOUR PUNK AU ART has me on the floor. Absolutely spectacular!!!!! If you want to elaborate on your artistic choices I for one would LOVE to hear it <3

THANK UUUU!!!!!!!! also again i want to give credit to thee lovely castielsweedgarden (tumblr won’t let me tag them) for the original concept, the original post is here and their tag for alt!natural posts is here all their content is SO DAMN GOOD please check it out

OK ARTISTIC CHOICES. So for some background I’m a costume designer so I actually spent a lot of time doing research for these outfits and also I pay way to much attention to detail so get ready for an infodump because im a nerd.

DEAN

ok so my headcanon for the jacket (and if u read the og post this will make more sense hgafkgsjk) is that Dean stole it from John the night he and Sam ran away and he starts to modify it and make it his own and put patches on it that would piss off John and thats why he keeps wearing it because he took this thing his dad loved and made it his own and that is the ultimate “fuck you” to John.

Dean keeps his hair in a really short crew cut because i really enjoy Dean teasing Sam about their hair being long

Sam and Dean dye their hair in motel bathrooms and Dean changes colour every other month meanwhile Sam just dyes their hair black because “i dont want to damage my hair with bleach Dean”

I had a lot of fun with the patches and most are pretty self explanatory BUT i want to draw attention to: 

the handprint patch on Dean’s shoulder right above where the actual handprint is

the patch that says “i love my non binary child” is the first patch that goes on the jacket because Dean wants to support Sam and it is thee ultimate patch that would piss John off

The bee patch was a gift from Cas <3

Deans shirt is ripped from hunting but he likes the aesthetic of it 

The chain around his neck is silver or iron or some other useful ghosthunting metal

also the tattoo on Dean’s hand is inspired by this one fic its so good please read it

Dean wears a bunch of jewelry and you can’t see it but he also has a bunch of tattoos

SAM

Sam wears platform boots and it makes them like 7 feet tall but its ok its what they deserve

I said this in the tags but ill say it again: Sam got the spiked choker because they were tired of getting strangled by monsters all the time and honestly i think a lot of canon!Sam’s problems could be solved if he just wore a spiked choker

Anytime Dean teases Sam about their fashion choices Sam always tells him thats its for practical reasons. The rosary? Its for making holy water in a pinch. The ripped fishnets? they’ll just get ripped anyways. The platform boots? its too intimidate monsters. The spiked choker? Its self defence Dean come on, it’s a purely tactical decision, no aesthetic reason at all.

Sam modified the sweater themself. Spent the long hours in the car embroidering an exorcism onto a cropped sweater (it didn’t use to be cropped, but a werewolf clawed into the bottom part of it and well. here we are) in pink thread and sewing some black lace onto the hem.

why yes, Sam’s skirt does have a blood splatter on it!! you would think this would get Sam some suspicious looks, but their aesthetic is so Like That that people assume its just painted on in an attempt to be edgy. People who assume this are wrong.

Sam likes wearing revealing clothing because it lets other people see how insanely strong and muscled they are and alt!Sam loves being absolutely intimidating to people.

Like. Imagine. This seven foot tall giant shows up, wearing all black and spikes and you can see their insanely muscular thighs under the fishnets and oh god why do they have so many scars you Do Not Want To Mess With Them.

to be clear I think alt!Sam is just as much a sweetheart as canon!Sam is but they dont try to make themself look smaller

CAS

The shirt Cas is wearing says “BOB the man, the myth, the legend” and it is very much based on a shirt my lovely gf has.

The reason cas is dressed Like That is because he woke Jimmy up in the middle of the night and the tshirt and sweatpants and the socks are Jimmy’s pyjamas and of course he had to grab his coat and put on his crocs shoes before leaving the house to get possessed by an angel, he’s a sensible man!!!

ok so i need to talk about the crocs because some people seem unhappy about them. Castiel does not care about human fashion standards. He does not care about how he is perceived by others. Crocs are sturdy, comfortable, practical shoes to him and thats all that matters, why are you laughing Dean? They’re waterproof!

I honestly don’t know why i drew Cas with hoop earrings it just felt right but my current headcanon is because he say Beyoncé wearing some or something.

ok trench coat doodles time!!!!! there are many of them and i wont go into all of them but here are a few noteworthy ones

the one on the top right is based off a lil doodle one of writers did for a fan I think??? I can’t remember someone please link the post ;;

dean just doodles lil bees and hearts all over the place because they make Cas happy

theres a badly drawn Leviathan on there. in case you were wondering what that is

so many games of tic tac toe were played on the trench coat. Sam always takes the circles. Sam always wins.

the big heart on the bottom right contains a doodle of the poodle Dean found hot on that one terrible episode. I’m not sorry. 

I did draw an airplane with gun arms. it’s an inside joke i have with my gf. No i will not elaborate. I think that Dean drew that on there because he thought the idea was funny.

bottom left corner has cool sun wearing sunglasses because we are all kindergarteners 

the SW and DW drawn on the coat are because they put their initials on the places they call home. 

Thank u for your ask my apologies for writing ten million words about it please enjoy

#spn #altnatural #can u tell i have adhd

[moonflowerlesbians]

6. with dani and jamie would be so cute 🥺 like a lil vermont winter fic

for you, anon! I altered the wording ever so slightly, but the concept is identical. I hope you enjoy :)

you can also read on AO3

~~~

Their flat is located a few streets off from the center of town, close enough to walk but far enough to provide a sense of distance from the bustle of the main drag. Tonight, they set out just after sundown to ensure good seats to what Dani has affectionately dubbed, “the greatest holiday spectacular to ever grace the streets of Bennington,” and what Jamie has deemed, “an entirely American embarrassment.”

It’s their third winter in Vermont, and this year, The Leafling has generously sponsored half of Bennington High School’s Marching Seahorses’ winter uniforms in exchange for a full page ad in their concert programmes for a year and a sign carried at the front of the annual holiday parade. Or, rather, the kids had come to the shop with instruments, a flyer, and an unrehearsed elevator pitch, and Dani had been utterly charmed.

“It’s good to see them so passionate about something,” Dani had said.

Jamie had hummed and had continued tending to her sprouts.

“It would be good publicity,” Dani’d argued.

“Most expensive advertisement of my life.”

“Come on, they’re cute.”

“‘Cute’ doesn’t keep the lights on, Poppins.”

Unfortunately for Jamie, Dani has an irritating way of getting what she wants. And that’s how their small business ended up shelling out an ungodly amount of cash for an extracurricular named after the least fearsome sea creature Jamie can think of.

They don’t even have legs for Christsake.

But, the sheer delight on Dani’s face upon Jamie’s concession softened her heart. In any case, Dani made certain to thank her thoroughly and, ah, enthusiastically, that evening.

Jamie begins to regret her decision, now, as she’s dragged from her cozy flat into the absolutely frigid night air. She’s bundled in her warmest coat, a toque tucked over her ears to stave off the cold, but she swears she’s still going to catch frostbite.

Dani, meanwhile, wears a fleece-lined denim jacket over top one of her many cable-knit jumpers and insists she’s overheating. She carries a blanket under her arm, the other linked with Jamie’s, as she all but skips down the street.

“The English couldn’t handle a Midwestern winter. This is nothing,” she had said.

She’s always loved Christmastime, Jamie has come to learn. Dani has regaled her with seemingly endless stories about stringing popcorn and cranberry garlands, baking biscuits with Judy O’Mara, and breaking the occasional ornament decorating the tree. She’d felt awful about that last one, terrified to tell Mrs. O’Mara. She went on to explain in touching detail how Mrs. O’Mara had taken her hand and reminded her that it was just a bauble.

It made Jamie wonder how often Dani got into trouble for accidents in her home. A question for a later date.

As they near Main Street, the sound of jovial chatter and the unmistakable carolers grows louder. The shops they pass have festive window displays, elves in stockings of red and green reading storybooks or sledding down white fabric hills. Dani blows right past, determined to reach her carefully preselected place on the sidewalk. In what Jamie is convinced must be sub-zero temperatures, she can’t imagine the winter festival will be a popular destination.

She soon finds she is mistaken, however, when they round the corner and encounter a throng of people. The road has been blocked off at either end, and families drift in and out of the shops. Some skate on the temporary ice rink set up to the side. The lights lining the trees reflect prettily off the storefronts, the branches arching up and over the street. It would be like something out of a fairytale had the weather not been turning Jamie’s hands to icicles.

Dani is very proudly pointing to a square on the sidewalk out in front of the coffeehouse, and before Jamie is entirely sure what’s happened, she’s sitting on their too-small tartan picnic blanket over pavement that is far too cold on her arse. Dani is warm at her side, and they’re pressed close, using the size of their blanket as an excuse to disregard social acceptability.

“How long until this thing starts?”

Dani checks her wristwatch. “Thirty minutes, I think?”

“Fuckin’ freezing.”

The apparent mother of three standing nearby shoots them a glare.

“Jamie…” Dani gives an apologetic look, but the woman is already herding her children off in the direction of an arts and crafts booth.

“You know, if we were home, I’d wager we’d find a proper way to warm up.” She gets a sharp elbow to the ribs for that one and lets out a muffled oomph, though she wryly notes the new flush to Dani’s cheeks.

“Hot chocolate? I’ll go find us hot chocolate. I’m pretty sure there was a table supporting the junior high theatre department.”

“S’long as you’re not making it.” But Dani is already halfway down the block.

Then, Jamie is alone, freezing her arse off while waiting to see a mediocre high school marching band play in ungodly weather to make her partner happy. It’s the kind of domesticity she could never quite envision for herself. She’s come to find she’s, somewhat begrudgingly, fond of it.  

Bells jingle, the sound echoing off of low brick buildings. Red ribbon bows hang from lamp posts and doorknobs and rubbish bins, with tails that swing in the breeze. The air is crisp; it blows down from the mountains and feels like a fresh start.

Dani returns with two styrofoam cups, passing one off to Jamie, and sits with her knees to her chest.

Jamie eyes the pale brown liquid skeptically before taking a cautious sip.

“Dani,” she says, “why have you handed me cocoa-flavoured water?”

Dani grins sheepishly. “The kids may have made it.”

“I should applaud you, really. You’ve managed to find the one demographic worse at brewing than you.”

“Rude.”

Jamie receives another jab to the side, nearly sending her drink sloshing onto her lap.

“Hey, now, keep that up, and we’ll end the night in the emergency ward.”

“Oh, please, you’ve got enough layers on to stop a bullet.”

“You laugh now, but just wait ‘till we’ve been sitting here for hours.”

“Shh,” Dani interrupts, “it’s starting!”

A dozen or so children in leotards and tight buns dance down the street, followed by a horse-drawn vehicle painted cherry red, in which a larger man dressed as Saint Nicholas stands, waving at the assembled crowds.

Dani’s excited grip on Jamie’s bicep silences any snide remarks she might have made about the quality of performance. Dani’s eyes shine with glee, and it’s so lovely, the few silver strands of her hair capturing the twinkling holiday lights, that the words die in Jamie’s throat. She allows herself to fall into the spirit of the thing, content to sit beside Dani in the corner of life they’ve carved out for themselves. Even if that means listening to a rather shoddy trombone rendition of “Jingle Bells.”

Sure enough, though, heading off the band, a handful of students bear a banner proclaiming the high school’s name and the season’s sponsors. There, listed below the bakery, is The Leafling. Jamie feels a flash of pride. Somehow, seeing their little shop represented for the town to see feels real, grounding, in a way she can’t explain. They’ve found a place, a rhythm, to settle. They’ve left their mark on this town tradition and become a part of something. It feels like home.

So, perhaps she cheers a bit louder when the musicians pass them. This earns her an amused smile from Dani, at which she rolls her eyes.

It’s a relatively short parade. There are only so many volunteer organizations, churches, and youth groups in the town, after all. Jamie’s legs are stiff when she finally stands and offers a hand to help Dani up. Her arms are wrapped around herself.

“Cold?”

“No,” Dani says, “Come on, we should look at booths before we head home. Support the other local businesses.”

They wander the various tables, some offering wares, some business cards, some consultations, dipping in and out of shops until a sniffling noise catches Jamie’s attention. Dani not-so-subtly swipes at her nose.

“You alright?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just-- fine.”

Jamie raises an eyebrow, trying to catch Dani’s eye, but she seems determined to look everywhere except Jamie. “You want my jacket?”

“I told you I’m not cold.”

“Right, ‘course not. Just positively shivering from excitement, then, are you?”

“Mhm.”

“No need to be brave on my account, Poppins, I won’t tell the world your secret.”

“And what secret is that?” Dani’s hands are tucked into her sides.

“That Dani Clayton, certified Midwesterner, can’t hash a brisk Vermont evening.” Her voice drops to a whisper, “Isn’t even snowing.”

“Hey,” Dani protests.

“Just take my jacket.”

“I’m fine.”

“Poppins.” Her tone is playful, a warning disguised as a tease.

Dani’s sighs. “Fine.”

“Ah, that’s a girl.” Jamie shrugs out of her top layer, draping it delicately over Dani’s shoulders. “Come on, then, can’t have you turning to ice on my watch.”

“You said something earlier about the proper way to warm up at home…”

“Was talking ‘bout a good cuppa,” Jamie smirks, “Why? D’you think of something else?”

Dani grumbles. “Tease.”

“Mhm,” Jamie murmurs, pressing her cold nose to Dani’s neck the instant they were out of sight, causing a squeal. “You like it.”

“Shut up.”

#jamie: i want you #dani: hot chocolate? you want hot chocolate? #I hope this is good #it was very wholesome #a good break from my angst lol #the haunting of bly manor #damie #damie fanfic #dani clayton #jamie #dani x jamie #jamie x dani #fic #fanfic #my writing #thobm fanfic #thobm #ask #prompt fill #dani x jamie fanfic #the haunting of Bly Manor fanfic #fluff #christmas fluff #christmas

[helisol]

Wait so.. link to this quodo fic you mentioned in your tags?? I’m intrigued :DD

its only an idea but i will HAPPILY ramble about it in detail under this read more because i never finish writing fics but i do love sharing my notes.

they get Pretty Extensive considering this clocked in at 2k words. so strap in.

tl;dr: karaoke night gone wild leads to garashir and quodo setting each other up for holodeck shenanigans

so basically quark has acquired a karaoke program. everyone on ds9 is going mad about it and it's keeping the holosuites booked out for weeks

the main squad decides to try it out and they just jam to a mix of human, klingon and bajoran music. but lets be real it's mostly human music because i have a mighty need to see captain benjamin sisko tear up the dancefloor to Earth Wind & Fire’s September. so sue me.

anyway everyone has to sing, even odo, even garak and they all have a blast. the only person who is notably absent is Quark because Quark has a bar to run and Quark can't indulge in mindless fun activities when he has money to make.

Unless… Odo challenges him and he has to prove that Odo is wrong.

so yeah quark checks on the gang to see how they like this “Hooman Kara-oke” and if he can sell them some drinks and everyone is like “hey you should sing. just one song. we won't even laugh about your bad ferengi singing! we promise!"

and quark is about to say "ferengi voices arent that bad. im still not gonna sing tho."

but odo is ahead of the game and insults his grating voice and how it could only be worse in song. and because this is quark he’s like “actually fuck you. now I WILL sing.”

so he snatches the mic from whoever was about to go next and fucking Crushes It. 

while odo starts Looking Respectfully everyone else is just going "woooooo! go quark!" which makes quark just get even more into it

Takes His Jacket Off, Drops It On The Floor, Dances With The Microphone Stand. The Works. and he's also enjoying himself like "haha! suck it odo! i'm a good performer, it's how I make money!"

until he actually looks at Odo and Odo is Looking Back and then he’s like “wait what the fuck why is he looking at me” and Promptly Messes Up A Step And Falls Off The Stage-

so now quark has a twisted ankle and julian has to take him to the infirmary, which bums out quite literally Everyone and the gathering disperses, leaving only Garak and Odo.

garak as we know is but a simple tailor, but he’s Observant and his little lizard eyes did spy odo looking at quark and making the soup-version of heart eyes. we also know he is the gayest bicth on this station so of course he’s going to poke and prod at odo to see how he reacts.

garak waits until everyone is out of the room and asks odo if he can walk the dear constable home to the ol’ bucket. because odo looked a little melty during quark’s performance, y’know. it’d be bad if he turned into soup on the promenade.

odo denies this, of course, so garak is like “oh great then we can have a Chat :)”

and odo goes "wait no i hate talking” but then they’re in garaks shop and drinking kanar and garak is getting drunk off his lizard ass and talking about Julian because, again, he IS THAT BITCH!

meanwhile in the infirmary, Julian is trying to take care of quark’s ankle, but since he’s nosy and kinda Knows that quark wouldn’t just mess up his steps for no reason he asks about that.

and quark loudly goes “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS JUST FIX MY DAMN ANKLE-”

which of course turns the nosyness up to 11 and has julian going 👀

"no i mean uh- i was distracted" "distracted? by what?" "nothing" "distracted by nothing?" "FIX. MY. ANKLE."

so julian sits him down on a biobed and gets whatever medical thingie fixes ankles in the 24th century. and while he does that he offers quark some wine to loosen the tongue about what made him slip.

anyway one thing leads to another and before you know it quark and julian are wine-drunk sitting on the infirmary floor and talking about garak. which suits quark just fine because it means he doesn’t have to admit he fell because odo was looking at him like he just revealed all the secrets of the universe along with his bare arms when he took off his jacket.

so we have two sets of gay idiots getting drunk in two locations and the next morning two sets of gay idiots have hangovers. yes odo gets a hangover. being soup does not exempt him from it.

julian and odo do the right, logical thing and take some meds to go to work and be productive and garak shows up in the bar to fight fire with fire and finds quark Already Doing That. 

so they just sit next to each other, beating their hangovers with more alcohol, and they get to talking.

garak goes on about how he took odo home and pretty much only talked about julian all night and quark is like “wow what a coincidence, the doctor and i only talked about you all night.” 

and it's all downhill from there because basically quark and garak just figured out that the garashir pining is Mutual.

"wait, julian was looking at me???" "yes." "AND I WAS LOOKING AT JULIAN-" "Yes."

and then they hash out this elaborate scheme to trap julian and garak in one of the Spy holosuite programs until they make out. this is garak and quark planning. how could they NOT make an elaborate scheme involving holosuites.

anyway i promised quodo so i will keep the ‘garashir makes out in the holosuite’ section a lil more brief

so within the next two days these two gay bitches whip up a new “The Adventures Of Agent Bashir” program, but quark has ‘adjusted’ the program a little so that it only ends when the main characters kiss. fun stuff.

garak and julian go through the program, havin a blast being spies, but at the end garak’s character gets “shot”, and they are so immersed in the story that julian is Actually Concerned and garak Actually Acts like he's in pain.

they kiss, the program ends, and garak- not actually shot- goes “haha gotcha, you wanted to kiss me before i died” 

so they walk out the holosuite one hour after their time is already up with a lot of hickeys and untied bowties. hooray.

But That’s Not What We’re Here For.

after garak and julian come down from the high of getting together julian asks Just How and Why quark would agree to help with this. quark Never helps Unless he’s helping himself.

and they realised Quark Has Played Them Like Cheap Kazoos. he just wanted to take attention away from himself and the unanswered question of why he suddenly fell off the stage.

so they go "wait, if odo and quark were both lying and obscuring facts and being weird about this, doesn't that mean- ohhh"

and it boils down to them deciding to help those poor fuckers because they are apparently off even worse than they were in terms of mutual pining.

they also hash out an elaborate scheme. this time it involves odo’s never ending hard on for finding reasons to throw quark into jail.

since quark technically violated the holosuite rules by locking garak and julian in there garak goes over to odo to report the “Crime”

after some back and forth about Why In The World Garak, Friend And Tailor, would report a crime to odo that doesn’t affect anyone’s safety Odo heads to the bar to investigate the holosuites and if there really was criminal activity.

he doesn’t ask quark for permission, mostly because he’d never ask permission to snoop around in quark’s property but also because quark is actually not there at the moment. for Some Reason he’s being held up in the infirmary. Weird.

so odo is looking through the holosuite recordings of the last few days, and he runs through what garak said was the illegal activity of locking them in there and just goes "Ah, alright, i can throw him in a holding cell for that.” but then he sees a message left by garak.

it was apparently left there today so garak must have prepared this which means something is afoot. and the message just reads "the karaoke session was recorded and you might wanna check what Actually™ made quark trip :)"

to which odo reacts with "hmph. why should i care. maybe hes just messing with me and quark tripped over a cable." but Odo looks at it anyway. respectfully.

and he watches the whole performance up until the point where quark falls. Multiple Times. until he remembers that this is a criminal investigation and he finally looks at the part where he falls from quark’s perspective, which is the important one.

and he just. looks right at himself. looking at quark.

and holy shit. he looked at him like he was going to shove him against a wall, not to beat him up, but to make out with him. he straight up looked like he was going to mess him up but not with his fists.

so he stands right in front of quark and replays that moment to see quark’s reaction and analyse how he fell. and sure enough quark Saw Him and his knees gave out.

after that he really just wants to walk out and spend the next 30 hours as a houseplant to cleanse his mind of any quark-related thoughts but uh oh. when he opens the holosuite door Quark Is Right There.

and odo panics and just pulls him inside, accidentally re-initiating the spy program.

“But how did Quark happen to be there at just the right time?” i hear you ask well it was OUR MAN BASHIR

while garak was at odos place telling him to investigate quark’s wrongdoings, quark himself got called to the infirmary for a check-up on his twisted ankle.

and julian kept him there, examining his ankle over and over, until garak came in to Insinuate that Someone is snooping around in the holosuites.

so quark, yelling "NO COPS IN MY BAR", hurries over to the holosuites on his totally fine ankle and bada bing bada boom, here we are.

with two idiots stuck in a locked holosuite.

odo is like "QUARK WTF" meanwhile quark is like "ODO WTF"

"YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" "NO YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" ”well it was you who pulled me in here" "but it was you who designed it like this"

anyway to get out they have to go through the program somehow. quark and garak programmed this very carefully. unless they follow the general story, there’s no way out.

and at first quark says "listen, its okay, we just have to kiss" to which odo replies with that kinda look you’d get from someone if you told them to swallow a cactus whole, for fun.

"you heard me" "quark if this is a joke-" "its not. i made rom pull an all nighter to put in the new sensors." "you paid him for this???" "no." "right of course."

and after a very quick cheek kiss doesn’t end up doing the trick the two actually go through the program properly. except quark knows the script, cheats a little, takes shortcuts and totally doesnt impress odo by shooting a few hologram guards on the way.

so they get to the end, where they believe odo is supposed to get “shot”, but turns out they mixed up the roles and quark is the one who gets shot.

And Odo Doesn’t Know. The Safeties. Are. On.

so he tearfully goes "WAIT NO- QUARK!" and quark is like "odo...odo come closer..."

"yes, quark?"

"kiss me"

"quark please dont die i'll kiss you and we'll beam you straight to the infirmary and-" "ODO JUST KISS ME"

and then they kiss. the holosuite controls unlock and quark thinks ‘oh great, now we can leave-’ but odo doesnt stop kissing him

and he doesn’t Stop kissing him until quark actually speaks up and has to go "HEY IF THIS WERE REAL I’D BE DYING BY NOW-"

"what?" "the safeties are on. I didn’t get shot. you just had to kiss me to unlock the controls-"

and odo is like "QUARK"

and quark is like "ODO"

and then odo gets up and is very convinced that he Must Turn Into A Houseplant For A Ferengi Lifespan To Atone For His Sins.

but quark says “no, wait. can you do it again?”

"yelling at you?" "kissing me."

anyway odo finally gets to fulfill his fantasy of pushing quark against a wall and quark finally gets kissed by odo like hes dreamed of for like 15 years or however long ago it was that they were first on terok nor together during the cardassian occupation.

the end.

#quodo #ds9 #deep space nine #look if anyone reads this whole thing. please talk to me about it. this is my pepe silvia. #ALSO IF SOMEONE WANTS TO *WRITE THIS* #GO AHEAD

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Cameo in Sir Yaksalot

We’re having a mini-post about a cameo for this entry, and it’s the longest and most involved cameo yet. Plus, it’s animated by TMS Entertainment, which is always a delight to see.

Let’s take a look at “Sir Yaksalot”.

This has nothing to do with Pinky and the Brain, but I thought I’d point it out anyway since I find it delightful. Back in the late 1970s, TMS Entertainment animated the Lupin the 3rd “Red Jacket” anime series. In this episode the very first populated scene has an appearance by Jigen, who is one of the characters in that anime. I imagine this easter egg flew right over the heads of most of the western audience back in the 90s. It’s so charming that TMS made reference to their old work all these years later.

If you’ve never watched this Lupin the 3rd anime, have a few out-of-context bizarre and funny moments from the series to get a taste of it. It’s a delight.

Anyway, the basic run-down of this episode is that it takes place in Camelot, where Sir Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table live. All is pretty peaceful until a dragon starts attacking the place, burning down houses, and roasting people alive in the street.

…Like so.

But hey, that doesn’t have anything to do with our duo of mice, right?

Well, I hate to have to spoil the whole twist to the situation here, but it’s kind of important to do so for the analyzing purposes of this rewatch. So what’s the twist?

The dragon is actually a mecha assembled and piloted by Pinky and the Brain.

I’ve gotta say, this is actually quite bizarre for the duo to do. Brain’s plans are nearly always non-violent. And even if the odd plan involves violence or lasting harm, Pinky is quick to admonish Brain for doing so.

But now in this episode we have them terrorizing a kingdom, burning down houses, burning folks left and right… What’s going on here?!? I mean, I guess the part where they’re roasting people is moreso in a cartoony character-is-just-blackened-with-soot-and-they’re-fine kind of way, but still.

OH LORD, IT’S HEADED FOR US!

Anyway, the “dragon” defeats the knights of the kingdom and begins trying to break into the castle.

We’re going to skip a large part of the story here as it doesn’t involve the mice directly. All you need to know is that King Arthur asks Merlin to conjure up a brave and powerful knight to slay the dragon…and Merlin’s magic summons the Warner Siblings instead. Eventually, the Warners agree to do their best to get rid of Camelot’s dragon problem.

Meanwhile, the dragon has gone back to the kingdom at large to continue the rampage. I guess the castle door was too much of an obstacle for some reason?

Oh no, they’ve spotted something…

BOYS, NO! What the fuck?!?

I guess…I guess you could say that since this is actually a mecha that we’re looking at here, this old man would just be held hostage inside the belly area and our duo is just doing a really good acting job at the moment. However, this is still something that’s really, really out of Pinky and Brain’s usual modus operandi. Maybe Brain’s the one doing all the work at the moment and Pinky’s somewhere else in the mecha, distracted and unaware of the chaos happening? That’s the only way this could make any sort of sense to me, and having Brain working by himself without Pinky there do second-guess him and be his conscience usually results in Brain getting more carried away and having his morals slip a bit.

“Comedy! Dragon comedy! The best dragon comedians in all of Camelot!”

Oh thank goodness for your distraction, Yakko!

“Right here, free peasant with every drink! Oh yes, right this way, sir!”

“Hmm?”

The dragon goes right on in. Curiosity got the better of Brain, I suppose.

“And now, dragons and drag-ettes, the Camelot Comedy Cabaret presents the funniest dragon in all of Camelot: Henny Dragon!”

Oh my lord, Yakko, that dragon kigurumi is adorable!

“Ah-haha! Thank you, thank you! You’re too kind!”

“Hey, how about that lady in the lake? I mean, how long can she hold her breath?”

Aww, Wakko has one too.

“Hehehehehe…”

All right, this is totally not Brain at the reins anymore. He’s not one for these kinds of jokes. I’m guessing Pinky got curious about what was going on and Brain let him have control for a little while?

“Candy? Gum? Dynamite?”

And there’s Dot in her own costume! You look very cute, sweetie.

The dragon shakes his head in refusal, but—

“On the house, sugar.”

The dragon’s all blushy and he mumbles something unintelligible and waves in thanks. Yeah, that’s definitely not Brain controlling the mecha anymore.

“How ‘bout that King Arthur, huh? I’ll never forget the first time we met—“

“—but I’m tryin’.”

Oh boy, the dragon’s laughter is getting more intense and…umm. Hmm. I think we all know where this is going.

“I’m slayin’ ‘em.”

[snerk] Thanks, Yakko.

“Hey hey! What’s green and stands in the corner?”

“A naughty frog.”

We’ve got full-on belly laughs here, folks. It’s only a matter of time now.

“Naw, really, you’ve been a great audience. We’re outta here!”

Welp, here we go.

Yeah, sorry. This one’s all on you, buddy.

HOLY SHIT! That’s much more violent an explosion than I was expecting!

See you, space cowboy.

There’s the reveal. How did Brain (with some help from Pinky) assemble a mecha like this in medieval times? He’s just that good, I suppose.

This junked mecha is giving me Five Nights at Freddy’s vibes and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

“Ah hehahe—‘naughty frog’! Narf! AhHAhaha!”

There’s our boys! Man, TMS makes them so adorable. Look at Pinky’s smile! He’s so precious. And Brain is, too, even though he’s so frustrated right now. ‘Lil grumpy-gus…

“Hysterical, Pinky.”

BONK!

“Zort!”

“…Mice?”

“But WHY?!?”

Honestly, King Arthur? Same.

“We were trying to destroy Camelot in yet another attempt to take over the world.”

W-were you, now? I… Listen, I know you’re not one to think about the details at all, Brain, but this is on a whole other level.

“Come, Pinky. Back to the drawing board.”

“’Stands in the corner’… ‘Naughty frog’… Ah HAHAHAHA!”

SMACK!

“They’re Pinky! They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain--!~”

SPLAT!

That’s it for the cameo. It sure was…something. I honestly don’t know quite what to make of it. The whole Pinky and the Brain twist doesn’t really work unless you make some leaps of logic to try and puzzle out who was in charge of the mecha and when, and it’s an overly aggressive and violent plan…which is very rare for the two mice.

At least the animation was a joy to look at!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Sir Yaksalot

[beebeyjuice]

Beezleboss (Beetlejuice*x Neutral!Reader x OC) NSFW-ish

I have to complete anessaya dn I’m over here awake, listening to Tenacious D so just take it okay? just take it and...cuddle with it. It needs to be cuddled with.

*I may add the rock!BJ AU and Devil!BJ tag because...it’s fucking Tenacious D what other excuse do I have???

Warnings: Mentions of R*pe, drugs, with a little dark humour* (read after the ellipses)

Update: It is 4 am...I started at 1 am. I liked this story very much :D. Enjoy.

Published: 4/11/20

https://soundcloud.com/butcher-ben-592/tenacious-d-beezleboss

~~~

I was sitting on the couch, strumming the guitar semi-consciously while waiting for my roommate to put the pot in the bong. The notes rolled off like a god was savoring the delicious riffs that kept on cooking. We alternated the use of the pick that we have found, and with its existence our lives gotten better. We gotten fame, money, a taste of both pussy and dick, because why the fuck not?

We even got a new friend, our agent, who’s nickname was Beezleboss. Sure it was a weird name, but there’s even weirder ones that are accepted by the crowd. Maybe he wanted to join the band?

(Y/N) came into the living room with the bag in their hand and sit next to me, and I placed the guitar in the stand. The pick I placed on the necklace frame. We both have our own necklace that holds the pick so it wouldn’t be as easy to lose it. It had its own eight, and its own disadvantages-

For one...we sometimes get paranoid and we forget the other one has it. Sometimes I’m up at 3 AM on the roof in my underwear and braless desperately looking for it, but then realization hits like a motherfucker when I realize that 1) (Y/N) has and 2) I am never on the roof for whatever reason, nice view though. It is always a nice view, it would be fun to fuck someone...maybe Beezlebub? Bezebos? Beteljuice? Juice...

“Hey (Y/N) hand me the orange juice will ya?” I asked and made a grabby motion and thanking them for the carton.

Our phones vibrated and (Y/N) leant over on her right side to scan the screen while holding the bong in her hand, “Oh hey it’s Beezleboss, wants to meet us in the front yard.”

Confused, I asked, “Why didn’t he just come in like he always does?”

You shrugged your shoulders and set down the bong gently, bitch, you’re never gently with my stuff.

~~

I dressed up, well...put on a bra because I didn’t want to deal with the sweat stains when I’m inside the house and followed you outside to meet our manager. Sometimes (Y/N) and I speak freely in our home how much we really want to fuck him...oh my goood was he just delicious-looking. He can join our little band anytime if it means we just hop on and-

“Hey boss, how’s it going?” you greeted with a smile and pulled him in a hug.

He smiled, his canines (fuuuck me he can mark me anytime) showed as he returned the hug, “Pretty good, I was just strolling by see how you guys are.” When he released the hug, he pulled back to adjust the striped jacket. He had such an unusual sense of fashion, but he was so fucking adorable. Sometimes I don’t know whether to pinch his cheeks or to whip his sweet thicc butt *I felt my head tilt a little to scan the curves* or to just...take me.

I know (Y/N) is thinking those dirty ass thoughts, they do this little thing by crossing their arms across their chest and and using the fingernail of their pinky to scratch their arm lightly to ground them to reality and not slip into their sexual fantasies. I’m pretty sure they want to see him in a leather outfit, and god do I as well. I’m more of an emotionless, “zoning out” kind of person. I scanned his body and when I watched those gorgeous hazel eyes, only for them to have a direct contact do I smile and go over to hug them. I had no fucking clue what they were talking about but they didn’t say my name. I held him in a side-hug, resting my hand on my hip as I now enter the conversation, “Boss, you looking sexy as ever.” I reported, serious and saluting him  as that was the most important part of the discussion. We both saw the sudden blush and timidness that appeared and I leaned back slightly, made direct eye contact with you and went from an emotionless expression to a wide grin and a thumbs up liek it was indeed the mst blessful day ever. I got away with these comments because it was common, (Y/N), however, that (gurl/boi/madamonsieure)....that’s 50 shades of F.U.C.K.E.D.U.P., my comments were NOTHING compared to what this sex demon had to offer

~Flashback~

Me: Yo, (Y/N), the city of fallen angels has nothing compare to the operas you perform when you commit to the sexto-y-nueve.

You: *chuckles and you lil shit would grab my chin and lightly graze it*  I will fuck you day and night, from pleasure to pain, whether you want to or not *leans closer* and you will start calling me the Lideric because I will not stop until you say my name like a prayer and your bones will be crumpling, you will be so dehydrated that you will need to go to the hospital constantly to get IV bags injected into your bloodstream that when you waste their resources, you depend on my own cum to keep you alive. *smirks*

Me: ... *mouth gaped*...

You: *taps on my chin and leaves me hanging as you do your research*

Me: Holy shit, mark me down as scared and horny.

~~

You smiled so sweetly as you tried to brush me off, “Ignore her, she’s had too much to drink.”

I lazily pointed at you, objecting your claim, “That is not true...I may have had about two cups of Orange Juice, who knows.” I shrug my shoulders lightly. This made beezleboss chuckle and had a fit of giggles before taking a deep breath to calm down, “Alright, alright, guys I’ve been meaning to tell you about this..situation that I’m in and-” now I slowly unglueed myself from the manager made slow, long steps to stand next to you, “...que paso, compadre?”

He was confused, trying to understand why I got so defensive and ready to beat his cute butt off the driveway.

“I hope it isn’t to tell us you won’t be our manager.” You stated bluntly, always more mature than me. Now I was able to see the rings that decorated his fingers, the black fingernails, the green hair that was slicked back, his skin slightly palish as always.

When he laughed, he shooked his heads, “No noo, that is not it nah- uh it has to do with production.”

I tilt my head to the side, “But we just finished producing songs yesterday.” I say in a high-pitch voice to make aware of my confusion.

He nods, “Yes, you have.” He grins, now there was one canine tooth that was visible and I was confused. I wasn’t going to address the lost tooth, but you sighed softly, “Right, I think I know what you mean. Mija, let’s grab our guitars and go to the studio and make a few more songs.” When you walked passed me, you added: “Besides, we have a few songs under our sleeves.” and you glanced down on the silver necklace.

I smile and nodded in affirmation then looked at our boss, “We’ll be right back!” and I ran, following you. When I walked up the stairs to the door, I reached up to the necklace and looked down to see the empty frame. I smiled, then I suddenly panicked. My eyes widen, and my body tensed up. I rushed to you, nearly pinning you against the wall. You were taken off guard, raising the guitars above our heads, “Mija! Watch it, you almost made drop the guitars-”

“Listen to me, and I mean....fucking. listen to me.” My voice was shaking, my hands were trembling and I was on brink in crying, “I...lost the pick.” and I sucked in my lips. Your eyes widen, lowering your arms, “Whatthefuckdoyoumeanyoulostthefuckingpick.” You said faster than you ever said anything in your life.

“I mean...I lost the pick. It was in the frame, and now it’s gone. We have to distract him, we have to distract boss and I have to look for the pick.”

~~~

Meanwhile, Beezleboss, who waited patiently, smirked slowly as he raised his hand to reveal the glowing green pick. The pick transformed into a canine tooth that was possible for him to shape shift into his true form: His eye color changed from the hazel to the golden orbs, his mouth opened slightly to reveal the two pairs of canines into two rows of sharp teeth. He stuck out his tongue for it to be fork-pitched and slithering to get the sensation used to.His suit got dirtier in means that it was aging, horns grew from the temples, making an upward curve. His finger nails grew into claws and he was more pale, like beige white paper. A tail was revealed from under the coat and flicked a few times, it stretched as well, curling a few times before making it rest on the concrete floor.

He lolled his head, making a growling sound emit from his throat as he was relieved to be in his true form, ready to take your souls to the netherworld and make you two suffer from the pain he had to endure with the stupid breathers.

~~~

I paced back and forth, repeating fragments and ideas before you take my shoulder, “We’re gonna find the pick, and we are going to make music after, okay?” You gave me my guitar and I put on the strap, “Y-yeah, yeah, we’re gonna find it.” I repeated, doing the habit of rubbing my fingertips and we headed out the door. However, when we walked outside, we screamed in horror as we jumped in our arms.

“IT’S SHOOOOWTIME!!~” The entity sanged in his gravelly voice, even biting his lip as he heard the screams, blinking only to smirk towards us, his golden eyes filled with rage and mischief.

We separated from each other to fully observe the demon, monster whatever it was that was in front of us, speechless in the moment.

He spread his arms apart as he says in a guttural tone: “I am complete!!”

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck” (Y/N) and I synced, really progressing what was going on.

“Yes you are Fucked! Shit out of Luck! Now I’m complete and my Cock you will suck!” and he proceeded to open the jacket slightly to thrust his hips forwards to mimic the fucking motion, “This world will be mine, and you’re first in line, You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!”

I was frozen in place, my eyes could not tear off. I must be high, I must be.

But I hear (Y/N)...sing? After all, he did sounded like he was singing too in the way that he spoke.

“Waaaaaiit! Waaaaiiit Waaait you motherfucker!” and I finally looked over at (Y/N) who stepped forward and pointed at him, “We challenge youu to a rock off!”

They brought the guitar in hand, ready to play, only before he pointed at the demon with their basic pick, “Give us one chance to rock your socks off!...”

I swore I saw a little hip jiggle when you sang that part softly.

I know looked at the demon who looked ready to kill us, but was distressed.

“Fuck!” He turned around, his back facing us. Well, at least his ass looked better. “Fuck! Fuuuuuuck.” He growled, turning back around after clenching his hands and even running his hands through his hair, “The demon code prevents me,” and when he turned around, a scroll appeared in his hands. He looked annoyed, if not irritated at the challenge that my roommate came up with, “From declining a rock off challenge. WHat. are your terms, what’s the ca-a-atch~.”

Now it was our time, (Y/N) looked back at me and I was trying to tell you something but nothing came out. I was too scared,

“Four things, two from me and two from her!” You shouted, looking back at him, “...If we win, you must take your sorry aaasssss back to heeeelll. And also you will have to pay our reeent.”

I actually thought that was a good idea, and I nodded slowly in agreement but also respect for thinking outside of the box.

“And what if I win?..” His hand raised to graze his beard and the growls came back, and there was a chill in both our backs.

“...” Now I’m stuck.

“...Then you can take her back to hell...” (Y/N) suggested, shrugging her shoulders in an inquisitive way, to see if it would work. I nodded mindlessly before those words clicked. I quickly snapped my head to you, worried as fuck, “...What?!”

I stepped forward to you.

They looked straight ahead before glancing at me, “Trust me mija, it’s the only whey.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked in a panicked tone, only to be grabbed by them. Their arm wrapped around me , the other on my abdominal area as we both looked straight.

“To be your little..” and then I feel someone groping my chest, “bitch.” they finished and I snapped at them.

Partially satisfied, with an eye roll, he announced: “Fine! Let the Rock off Begin!” and he released a maniacal laughter that would have wet my underwear for multiple reasons besides being scared.

And when he raised his hands, the scene changed. We were caught in the middle of an arena of speakers, a drum set appearing, a microphone sitting in the middle. A guitar and a bass on their stands. We watched three clones appear, each taking their places. The real raised his hand and lowered it as he stood behind the microphone. The drummer was perfect in every way playing the drummer, never missing a beat (no times for puns).

“I’m the devil- I love metal!” They all sang in unison, more guttural than with one, only from the real one to stuck out his tongue and wiggle it at us. We jumped at every chance, fidgety and also speechless at the performance.

The guitarist stepped forward, planting his right foot forward only to succesfully catch out attention when said, “Check this riff is fucking Tasty!!” and proceeded to shred out souls he performed.

Lastly, the real boss, he took the microphone, the tail wrapped around the stand as he sang his verse:

“I’m the devil I can do what I want

Whatever I’ve got I’m gonna flaunt!

There’s never been a rock off that I’ve ever lost!”

I glanced at you in a concerned look, already certain that I’m fucked.

When I look back, however, he revealed a wall of sex toys which made me jump.

“I can’t wait to take her back to hell

I’m gonna fill her with my hot demon gel” and he squirted lube on us, making us jump but me cower behind you.

“I’ll make her squeal like my scarlet pimpernel!” and he mimicked once again the fucking motion. .For a moment, (Y/N) stepped forward and shouted, “NOoooo!” It Boss by surprise, the illusion getting rid of. Head turned over their shoulder, they tried to make me jump in, “Come on Mija, bring the thunder!”

I was hopeless, I was already see the future of being a sexdoll, “There’s just no way that we can win, that was a master piece...”

Now they turned around and grabbed my shoulders, “Listen to me.”

“He rocks to hard because he’s not a mortal man!” I raised my hand at him who was currently smoking a cig.

“God damn it! He’s gonna make you his sex slave, gonna gargle mayonnaise-”

“Nooo” I sobbed.

“Unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam!”

I nodded, understanding you, “We’ve been through so much shit...“

“Deactivated lasers with my dick!” He shouted excitedly, and for a mere second attempted to remember a single memory where they did that.

“Now it’s time to bow this fucker dooown!!” we synced and faced the boss.

I brought out the guitar and began to strum only for you to continue “Come now, it’s time to blow doors down!”

I nodded excitedly, bouncing on my toes, “I hear you man it’s time to blow doors down!”

You posed and danced as you sang, “Light up the stage ‘cause its time for a showdown!”

Now I was confident to step forward with the thanks of my friend, “We’ll bend you over then we’ll take you to Brown Town.”

and we both sang, “Now we’ve got to blow this fucker doown!”

I quickly stated the fact if this does not work: “He’s gonna rape me if we don’t blow doors down!”

“Come on, we must drive it down now”

“Yeah Baby!!”

You confidently pointed at him as you smirked, “Hey anti-christ-er, Beezlboss, we know you’re weekness- OUR ROCKET SAUCE!”

ANd the something came over me that suddenly I stopped playing, only to actually be stuck ina thinking process.

The halt confused you and the boss, “What the fuck was that!” you shouted.

I scanned the boss almost ina  critizing way, “I just realized something...”

“HUH?!” you both responded.

“I never got to say what I wanted.” I stated plainly.

You wacked the back of my head and I nearly tripped.

“You were nearly raped and you’ve got the nerve to say that!”

“Wait cabron listen to me!” you shouted back and the you looked at the boss, “Yo, you gnna destroy the world?”

Speechless, Beezlboss remained there, “Uhhh...no?”

I nodded and process that, “Then how about we forget all this and come inside, become our new roommate and date?”

That question alone made them look around for any secrets cameras of some sort.

“What the fuck is happening..”

“Exactly, you know, when you were human and all, (Y/N) wanted you to fuck us and fuck you. You see them scratch their arm right?”

“yeah...”

“Observant! But that’s their way of not falling into a sexual fantasy! I’m a motherfucking open book that will open her legs with a snap of fingers! Rape is off-limits though!”

“And...?”

“Boy,...you will not hear the end of the day if you let me continue talk when I want to date that sexy ass of yours. ANd now that you have horns, now I have something to hold on when I’m riding- let’s go inside. now.” You made your way inside, shocking both outside.

“Now!!!!” you barked and both (Y/N) and boss head inside. I got closer look and I grin, “Oohh, you managed to get even sexier.”

“Wait...you both....really wanted to fuck me?”

“And date you, don’t forget that. We just didn’t want to make it awkward since you were out manager.” you explained, making you blush from the revelation.

“And you still want to date me?” He asked in clarification and you quickly grabbed his tie and pulled him down in a lustful kiss, taking your hand in mine to pull closer. I introduced tongue and when we pull apart, a string of saliva was attached, “You should wait until (Y/N) opens their mouth. I came three times.” you admitted, “didn’t even touch me.” I smirked, “Now come on, let’s ignore what just happened and just get on with it yeah?” you asked and leaned forward to kiss his neck. You blushed so hard, you felt him place his hand on your waist and nodded to male the move. His expression soften up and you leaned forward to kiss him, already twirling tongues.

One thing for sure, this relationship is the best one ever made.

#Rock!Beetlejuice #beetlejuice x reader #nsft #BJ x reader #devil!beej #Rock Beetlejuice #fanfic #fanfiction #I am so so so proud of this piece #I do hope you enjoyed

[sumeshi-t]

higanbana;

A/N: Okay, a bit late I guess but I started writing this 19th July. Didn't make it in time. Also I forgot which blog I saw the prompts from lmao this is also kinda self-indulgent but hey what’s the use of making self-inserts for your self right

Pairing: OikawaxReader

Wordcount: 3,303 trash

Genre: angst??? try-hard angst yeah im sorry got lost in how to end it i--

*higanbana = red spider lilies. they are associated with final goodbyes, and legend has it that these flowers grow wherever people part ways for good.

tagging some cute lil haikyuu friends :( @floofwrites @akaashit-baeji @sportanime-maniac

•》》》》》》》••《《《《《《《《•●•》》》》》》》••《《《《《《《•

"(y/n)?" Iwaizumi's voice sounded strained, tired even, as he spoke to you through his phone's mouthpiece. You ask what was bothering him on such a fine weekend afternoon. 

"It's been... bugging me for days now, it's such a pain in the ass." 

You hum, taking your time chewing the chips you've put in your mouth. You were binge watching movies on your free day when he called. "Well, you know, that isn't really part of my job. But congratulations on devirginizing your ass, I guess." 

Iwaizumi stutters, and you could clearly see the image of horror and embarrassment on his face in your mind. "T-That's not what I meant!" He clears his throat, before continuing. "Just... I feel like playing again. And I think I've become rusty for the past year."

He hears you gasp, and he wasted no more time in setting a meeting place before completely hanging up on you.

Warmth spreads throughout your chest at his sudden call and the reason why he wanted to meet up suddenly made you giddy. 

You and Iwaizumi go a long way back—way back middle school. By the time you graduated from college, he finally got accepted to play and be part of the National team. So you mustered enough courage and confidence, gathered some experience before applying for the team's physical therapist.

Luckily though, you got hired, and even received compliments from the coach saying that they have never seen the players perform to "such an extent".

It was a fun experience, the team had a great run during those times but one day, Iwaizumi decided to quit. Until now, you never knew why, but soon after he did, you also bid farewell to the team and began working in hospitals or nursing facilities.

So hearing that he wanted to play again set you in a good mood; you even start rummaging through your old files for the training regimen you used to give him, and brought it along with you.

You passed by a convenience store, grabbed two bottles of a light alcoholic drink, the celebratory mood getting to you.

Until you felt utter disappointment, confusion, and even a little annoyed at seeing who was there on the bench, waiting.

"(y/n)-chan~!" 

It was him. 

You suddenly wished that aliens were real so they could just take him. 

"You still call me that? Stop it. Where's Hajime?" You still weren't sitting, tempted to throw the bottles to his good-looking face before he could answer your question. 

Oikawa pouted, scooting over to make space beside him for you on the bench. "First name basis? You two that close already?" 

You didn't even try to understand the underlying tones that statement had. "None of your business. Now if you're not gonna tell me where he is, I'm gonna have to leave. Nice seeing you," 

As you turned around to leave, Oikawa stops you by saying, "I had him call you so we could meet here. So obviously, he's not coming." 

You hesitated, but with a deep sigh, you wordlessly made your way to the bench, placing all the stuff you brought between you and the brunette. He looks down at what you did, and when you weren't looking at him, Oikawa pops open both bottles with a little trick, trying not to smile that you decided to stay. He places your drink next to you, as he holds his own and takes a sip.

Oikawa just looks at you in silence, as your eyes focus on the red spider lilies before you; lined in a straight path, some surrounding the tree nearby. Both your face and his was unreadable, and when you couldn't bear the silence much longer, you took a breath before speaking.

"You didn't have to do that." your eyes narrowed, still refusing to look at Oikawa. 

"Do what?" the way he was feigning innocence got on your nerves a bit but you decided to settle things as mature as adults could be.

"...this whole thing, making Hajime set this up. There's actually, absolutely, no need for it."

"I just need an excuse to hang out with you." He answered immediately, gauging your reaction. Oikawa takes another sip of his drink, "It's been a while since we last talked, (y/n)-chan. I tried texting or calling you but I figured you probably changed numbers."

You bit your bottom lip, looking down on your feet. You take a single gulp of the alcohol and leaned back on your seat, trying to at least relax and feel more comfortable in your own space.

"Why? Felt bored?" You finally spare him a quick glance, and your ex had a long leg over the other, both hands now inside the pockets of his jersey jacket. There was a small flag of Japan by the chest and only then did you remember that he was now also a member of the volleyball National team; perhaps even their captain—you didn't know. Ever since leaving the team, you didn't bother catching up to any news about them. 

When Oikawa didn't answer your question, you mumble, "I heard... you were doing good." 

He shrugs, "More or less... and you?" The brunette sighs, scratching the back of his head. He turned to you with a  slight pout, which you couldn't tear your eyes off of. "Why are we talking like we have sticks up our asses? Iwa-chan sure is rubbing off on you real good." Oikawa whines, his nose stuck in the air after grunting. 

You didn't know why but you found it ridiculous, that you were reminded of the times when you were younger. A chuckle escapes your lips, making his brows raise at your sudden reaction. "God, are you six or something? Trying to be all cute and whiny?"

Oikawa smirks, "So first it's 'nice seeing you'; and now you're saying I'm cute? (y/n)-chan, I'm very flattered. But there's no need to tell me what I already know." He even had the audacity to wink at you and stick his tongue out.

You lightly punch his shoulder, rolling your eyes at his display of narcissism. "Hah, some things... really don't change." 

Oikawa's short burst of playful attitude came to a progressive stop, his calm demeanor slowly resurfacing. "Yeah... guess you could say that."

He then rummages through the files you brought along for Iwaizumi, and he hums in acknowledgment. "So you did become a PT." Oikawa was mumbling to himself, and you didn't even try to take back the folder he was holding. 

'It's better to have minimal physical contact as much as possible.'

You notice his brows scrunching together, and assumed that he was trying to read through the small fonts you used, as Oikawa wasn't wearing his glasses. But what you didn't know was that he was actually glaring at Iwaizumi's photo.

He returns the folder to you, "Think you can be my therapist?" Then, his other hand pats his bad knee thrice.

The question caught you off-guard; just as quick as the good memories flashed by, the bad and painful ones that replaced it were the hardest to ignore. It triggered the memory that began the downfall of your relationship with Oikawa.

See, you and him had made the relationship work through  some similarities and despite of your differences.

You were understanding and supportive of his passion and commitment to his volleyball career. You went to his games and cheered him on no matter the results were; when you had free time, you'd wait until night for him to be done with practice. Meanwhile, he never felt as though you were dragging him down; he even learned to appreciate classic rom-coms because of you and had some of your favorites next to his sci-fi stash; and of course, he fueled the drive you had for achieving your dreams of becoming a doctor.

The amount of selfies you've taken with him is unreal; your gallery also full of memes you both send to Iwaizumi even during dead hours of the night. You hated his gut sometimes, and he doesn't like it when even you nag at him; you were both stubborn, had a little pride here and there—but you knew you felt the happiest when with him, and he always told you that he felt the same.

College came. You were in different universities, but was in the same one as Iwaizumi's. When you were still a freshman, you still had some time to spare; meet up after practice, or him waiting for your class to end. 

It was interesting: you knew one way or another, a match between your university and his would be inevitable.

And Oikawa's team always won. 

But as the semesters went on, both of you spent less and less time together, talked more on occasion than how it used to be. 

For you that was fine, you understood that careers must be prioritized than relationships because both of you were at that age which would decide your individual futures. 

Sometimes you'd get jealous at some of your friends when they're gushing about their own adventures in the romance department that you even mockingly ask yourself if you're actually single.

The relationship just came to a point where you felt like you were the only one trying, making it an effort to meet or hang out.

You had to admit to yourself: it was tiring. And all these, you had no choice but to rant it all out on Iwaizumi—which was part of the reason why you two became much closer. It was completely platonic for you though, no doubt about that.

There was a particular match, you finally had some spare time from your busy schedule and brain-draining program, that you managed to watch it. Though, you were a little late, having arrived halfway through. 

Every step you took closer to the stands, the more you became eager to feel the rush of adrenaline through your veins, of having your throat going dry from screaming and cheering—

But you didn't expect that you'd instead have to swallow a lump in your throat and push back tears. 

When you arrived, the first thing you saw was your boyfriend, Oikawa, lying on the floor of the court, clutching his knee, teeth gritted, sweat and probably some tears on his pained face. And Iwaizumi, on the other side of the net, frozen in shock at what was happening to his bestest friend.

Next thing you knew, you were in the hospital.

It was a bad fall they said.

Probably the court was too slippery. A little misstep.

The worst was that maybe it was the beginning of the end of his career. 

The following days, weeks, weren't really the best. You could say bad things turned to worse things. 

The doctor was a bit too pessimistic for your liking, saying that Oikawa might never be able to use that knee again for volleyball, post-surgery. 

"Since when did you know about this? Was it after the Karasuno match? Or during your freshman year in college? Tooru... please..." you asked him, as he stared ahead at the wall, the usual cheerful dork now seemed to have aged ten more years at the hurtful words of his own doctor. 

Oikawa didn't answer. He didn't know how to answer and he felt that everything came crashing down as he began building his walls higher, keeping everything and everyone out—even you.

You reached out to caress his knee, and you noted the flinch he made under your touch. "Hey... I know it's hard right now, but... trust me, I don't think what the doctor said was true." You pursed your lips; still no reaction from him. 

"I mean... this is why rehabilitation medicine exists! I believe that this could still be worked on and you'll be in your best state in a few month's time, Tooru." You were speaking from your little therapist-to-be heart, the passion, the blood, sweat and tears you've shed so far serving as fuel to strengthen your resolve in wanting to help heal your boyfriend.

You pulled your hand away when Oikawa let out a scoff. 

He gave you a ridiculing look, "What do you know? I don't see you having any problem with your knee."

"T-Tooru... I—"

"Why? Just because you're a student now, you honestly think you could be my therapist?"

Were you hurt? Very. But then there was a voice in your head saying that Oikawa was in much more pain than you could imagine. And so you waited. Patiently. Diligently. 

You didn't want to let him see you crumble at his mere words that only stemmed from his self-loathing. This isn't him, this isn't him. It was your new mantra. 

You could only take so much. 

You still end up crying it out on Iwaizumi. He was able to provide you with the head space you could breathe in. You didn't realize that Oikawa could sense this. That was your mistake, you knew that but only after the split.

"Why don't you leave me alone? All I see from you now is pity. Guess what, (y/n), I don't need any of that from you. Right? I don't make you happy anymore right? You think I didn't know you've already found someone better?" 

This was his mistake. 

The memory of your tears, of your trembling hands, and voice breaking—still stung in his mind. 

"Not once did I pity you, Tooru, because that's not what you need. All this time, I've endured every word you hurled at me like I'm your least favorite person in the world." You sniffed, swallowed. 

"But if that's what's going to make you better, make you happier—then I'll go. I hope you understand how much I've exceeded my limits, only for you to throw me out over and over again."

You gripped hard on the doorknob, and said your final words. "And leave Iwa-kun out of this. I didn't think you would actually doubt a friend and your own girlfriend." You bitterly smile, causing the tears that pooled in your lids to fall.

"Maybe I was wrong to assume that I could become your stronghold through this. I'm sorry for disappointing you, Tooru. Get well soon,"

"And we never talked after that." he murmured, eyes reddening, jaw clenched in an attempt to fight his own tears from falling. 

And you?

You've downed half of your bottle in one go. 

You refuse to look at him because you knew your heart's wounds would reopen and be like onions to your eyes. You let the alcohol spread to make you numb. More, more, you said.

"It's embarrassing but... since you left I have no one to talk to. The days I spent in the hospital was a lot bearable when you used to visit me." 

You took another swig of the alcohol. Another bitter smile  on your lips more bitter than what was burning your throat. "Then don't talk to me now like you're coming back."

"Don't you want me back?"

Your heart ached at his question. You bit your lip, sniffing, trying to find the right answer—your heart wanted yes, but your mind wanted no. "Did I even mean anything to you? Was that all I was to you—just another person you could talk to?"

Oikawa winced at your words. "(y/n), I—I... of course not! You're worth more than that to me!" there was a shaky exhale, and a quick intake of air right after. You figured that he was choking on his own fought back sobs. "I... I'm sorry but I just miss you so, so, so much."

This time, you tried looking him in the eye—and all you could see was a mirror of your own pain. His ears were already red, indicating the emotions he was holding back on you—a trait of his that you can't seem to forget.

"There's a difference between missing someone and missing having someone, Oikawa." He flinched at how much you tried to put distance between the two of you for calling him that way. Oikawa tried to answer but you continued, "I, for one, miss you because I..." you gasped, letting the tears stream down your face. "Because I never stopped loving you, Tooru."

Oikawa was frozen in his seat, watching you as you harshly wiped tear streaks from your face, finishing your drink then gathering your things and standing up to leave. You quickly walked away without looking back, and that was the only time the brunette finally found how to move his limbs. He was so at a loss that he forgot his own unfinished drink on the bench.

"W-Wait, (y/n)-chan! (y/n)," Oikawa chased after you, unable to control his own strength once he grabbed your arm, making all your things fall to the grass. You pull your arm away but he holds you by the shoulders.

"Why are you leaving? I'm not going to push you away anymore, (y/n)." His grip on you got tighter, as if he was restraining himself from pulling you close to him and capturing your body in his. 

You look down, avoiding his stare, seeing red spider lilies once more by your feet where your things were scattered. 

His hands slide down to grasp your hands in his. They're still as warm as I remember them to be. 

"...Real feelings don't just go away."

"So why did you let me leave?" Your lips trembled, voice coming out in a whisper, voice cracking in the end. 

"(y/n), I know that what I did and said was wrong. I let my pride get in the way between us; I let my sadness eat me away." His hands were shaking now, a bit sweaty too. He sniffed, "You saw the messed up parts of me and stayed. But I was a jerk, a big asshole, for pushing you away. It was selfish of me... I... I didn't see that my in-actions would cause us to fall apart."

To your surprise, he pulled you in, burying his face near the crook of your neck. You could feel something wet seep into your shirt. "My biggest mistake was thinking I could live without you."

"But... I can see you're doing well now without me. Because you only waited this long to try and reach me? Why now when you could've done it before?" 

Oikawa hugs you tighter, shaking his head. "I just don't want to lose you; not again, not anymore. I love you (y/n), I never did stop."

Soon, he pulls away, eyes searching yours. You look up at him, and he wipes the tears from your face. "Can I be selfish one last time? Please give me another chance—I'll make it up to you."

You all but gently removed his touch from yours, and suddenly the air around you grew cold. 

"Tooru, I... I love you, I miss you, I forgive you. It was nice meeting you but... I don't think I'm ready to open my heart for you again. Maybe not now. Maybe not ever. Because I've made up my mind long ago to love you from afar."

You smiled softly and used the back of your hand to wipe his tears. Then, you stood on your tiptoes and placed a peck to his nose before turning away. 

Oikawa could only watch in silence at your retreating figure, wondering if this was the best thing for one or both of you. Everything now was even more unsure for him; except for the fact that a new-found determination sprang in his chest. 

Oikawa Tooru was going to win your heart back, no matter what it takes.

#haikyuu #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #happy birthday oikawa! #angst #haikyuu scenario #oikawa scenario #underratedhq

[foryourlifefic-blog]

Chapter 6 (Part 1)

By the time I had finished getting ready it was about time for Jimmy to come pick me up.

I still has extra time so I decided to go to the kitchen to make a drink so I could get a little loose before the event even started.

“Look at you!” Matt hollers coming out of his room with Cameron.

“You look gorgeous!” She says “I love your dress.”

“Thank you” I blush.

The dress I was wearing was the color of champagne with a slit coming up along the side. There was also a deep V neck that was lined with lace.

I had done subtle makeup with a bold eyeliner and soft pink lips, my hair was curled at the ends which was the way it usually was anyway.

“It was a gift” I say “from my mom long ago, just now getting the chance to wear it.”

“Well she has beautiful taste” Cameron compliments.

“I’ll let her know” I say sipping the old fashioned that I had made “I haven’t seen you guys since this morning what have you done all day?”

“Oh you know” Matt says winking.

“Good god” I say “have you eaten food or anything?”

“Nope!” He says “which is exactly the mission we are on. That and to go back to Cameron’s apartment and get her some clothes to bring back here.”

“Moving in?” I ask.

“Not quiet” she laughs “we’ve only known each other a day, but we’ve had a lot of fun so I figure why not hang out another day.”

“Well you’re always welcome.” I say “we need a place with more rooms, this one only has 3 and there is 4 of us.”

“How did you and Kenny end up sharing the room together?” Cameron asks.

“We gambled and we lost” Matt says “plus these girls have way more crap than we do.”

“True” I huff.

“I might make Kenny move into another room though, now that your around.” Matt says seductively.

“Oh brother.” I roll my eyes “Well it’s not gonna be mine, my name is on the lease so I can kick all of you guys out.”

“You wouldn’t” Matt laughs.

“Try me” I say taking another sip of my drink.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” Cameron asks.

“Yeah why are you so dressed up?” Matt retorts.

“Well I have an important event to attend with a Mr. Jimmy Page.” I say.

“Your still seeing him?” Cameron asks.

“To my dismay... what can I say he insists.”

“Did you just meet him yesterday?” She asks.

“Last night” I reply.

“Oh man when I slept with him it was only once-“ Cameron begins but is cut off by Matt “what!”

“Yeah what?” I cough.

“Did I not mention that?” She says.

“Uh no” I say still surprised.

“It was years ago” she says “look they always come back to the same crowd when they are here, I was with my friends at the rainbow lounge and Led Zeppelin showed up. He saw me, he liked me, and asked me to his room.”

“Wait so... what!” I ask.

“We slept together and then the next morning we said our goodbyes... look all I’m saying is that your lucky he is still pursuing you, I mean that genuinely.”

“Well the event tonight is business... mostly.” I stutter.

“I bet he likes you” she smirks.

Meanwhile Matt was still dumbfound, Cameron realizes this and turns to him “your not mad baby are you?”

He gulps “I mean I guess not, free love and everything. I’m just a bit taken off guard.”

“Me too.” I say “and about him liking me we shall see, he asked me to be his girlfriend for the week but who the hell knows what that means.”

She raises her eyebrows “oh you know.”

“Do I though?” I chuckle.

Ding! we hear the doorbell.

“Oh shit I haven’t put on my shoes yet! Matt get the door!” I say running to my room to put my shoes on.

I was sitting on my bed when I heard him open the door “Jimmy! Always a pleasure!” Matt says and I hear them shake hands.

“You as well” Jimmy says in a soft spoken voice “is the lady of the hour ready?”

“Right here” I say stepping out of my room.

His eyes begin to widen as he gives me a soft hug his hands reaching down my waist.

“You look breath taking” He says into my ears causing me to blush.

“And you as well” I say gushing over his silver suit jacket and green button up. He had his Zoso sign pinned to his collar so everyone could see it.

“Where’s this from?” I ask stroking my thumb over the gold pin.

“I had it hand made.” He smirks “shall we.”

“Yes” I say grabbing my purse from the table beside me.

“Alright don’t have too much fun you two.” Matt says walking us out.

Jimmy laughs “it’s not that kind of party, but who knows about later in the evening.”

“Don’t wanna know.” Matt laughs. “Keep in touch Lil!”

“Oh I will” I say looking back at him as Cameron came and put her arms around him.

“Make good choices!” She yelled

“Okay!” I laugh at them acting like my parents as Jimmy opened the car door for me.

“Thank you sir!” I say slipping in.

“Not a problem” he says closing the door then getting in on the other side.

He told the driver the directions then closed the gap between him and us.

“So did you figure out what you were dealing with this morning?” I ask him.

“Just about” Jimmy says “we have all these producers trying to give us an unfair cut, and our label is trying to make us release singles which I absolutely will not do.”

“Is that because the radio will shorten the songs and you get held down while trying to make an album.” I say.

“Exactly!” He says “someone who finally understands.”

I laugh “Well I know a few things about that.”

“There’s just a lot of bastards out there trying to milk the industry, meanwhile we are doing a majority of the work. I’m strongly considering creating my own label.” He says.

“You should do it” I say “and let my band use your platform as well, I hate those people as much as you do.”

He laughs “that’s the dream”

“Tell me about it. Mark my words we would be a lot bigger if we hadn’t signed on to these sour deals.”

“I believe you my dear.” He says “I don’t know why people have such a problem with rock bands wanting to dabble in acoustic music, it’s only the balled version after all.”

“Are you talking about Led Zeppelin III?” I chuckle.

“The media’s response to it was just ridiculous.” He says.

“I agree, especially since we do a lot of balled tracks as well, Led Zeppelin III is actually my favorite album.”

“Really?” He asks.

“Oh yeah it’s totally underrated.” I say “but that’s just my opinion.”

“Tell me why is it your favorite?” He asks.

“Well it’s the complete package.” I say “it has the acoustic balled tracks but it also just has songs that rock you know? Out on the Tiles is amazing and Tangerine and That’s the Way are just fucking lovely and relaxing and just uplifting. Then there’s Since I’ve Been Loving You and let me tell you Jimmy every time I hear that song... it feels like I’m fucking melting.”

He smirks “How do you mean love?”

“I mean it’s definitely one of my favorites, just your solos-when you play it’s like I can hear you speaking to me... I listened to it on LSD once and holy shit it was like I was feeling brand new feelings. I can’t really describe it, the song is-just truly magical.”

“I really don’t know what to say to that.” He says “except thank you, I don’t think I have ever heard it described that way.”

“Well everyone is different, and your welcome.” I smile.

The car came to a stop and I knew we had arrived.

Once we had gotten out of the car Jimmy tipped the driver and bid him farewell.

“Wait don’t you need to tell him when to pick us up again?” He shakes his head “no, because a limo is going to take the rest of the band out to Rodney’s after this. Can’t be subjugated too long.”

“God forbid Led Zeppelin show restraint.” I chuckle.

“Carful darling” He says opening the door for me “more smart remarks like that and I’ll have you over my knee.”

I laugh it off slightly surprised he would say something like that, considering he usually has a kind exterior.

He put his around my waist and growled in my ear “You look like a gypsy tonight darling, I want nothing more than to eat you up.”

I became weak in the knees thankful that his arms were around me keeping me up.

“And eat me you shall.” I whisper in his ear as we entered the premises.

#jimmy page fanfiction #jimmy page fanfic #jimmy page #robert plant #fanfiction #led zeppelin #1970s

[felassan]

7, 26, and 31 for Roo?

compiling some character askmeme asks into one post to reduce dash clutter. this first one refers to this meme. the answers are under a cut for length (there are asks from other people below the cut).

7. How do they feel at night, in silence, all alone?

Roo has trouble sleeping owing to significant insomnia-type issues. sometimes she takes something to put herself out. other times she doesn’t. those times, she has to do something in order to keep her mind occupied. taking tech apart and putting it back together again, or just taking it apart. drinking. working out. watching crappy movies. pacing. making food and not eating it. she does a lot of ‘not eating it’. sometimes shooting the shit with anyone else who happens to be up at the same godawful hour (she’ll talk any kinda crap at those times, as long as it’s shallow and surface level). anything to avoid looking inwards basically. she occupies this strange space where she prefers her own company and is a fairly solitary sort, but has a chronic need for external stimulation in order to distract herself from herself and avoid anything approaching introspection. she’s restless and leaves a lot of projects unfinished. the mess come morning is probably the cause of several irritated notes left on the Tempest crew dorm noticeboard.

26. How do they cope with sorrow

short answer: she doesn’t. an enneagram 7, Roo is essentially in flight from herself  - consequently she ends up in flight from any pain she’s supposedly-experiencing and doesn’t identify her feelings or process things in a healthy way. instead she numbly seeks sensations, which is a bad feedback loop. she tries to avoid both responsibility and emotions. I guess that makes her an escapist? 

31. Tell me about their aesthetic

mm.. a lil bit punky, a lil bit grungy, ‘Omega chic’. wears a lot of black. some images and posts that sorta ‘spoke’ Roo’s aesthetic to me are collected in my Andromeda inspo tag. sarah manning, lisbeth salander and jessica jones were definitely influences. she’d look at home in any cyberpunk-esque ‘illegal underground’ type settings, or in the Belt in the Expanse.

kestrelsansjesses said: questions 1 and 2 for your Ryder :)

universepepperland said: 8 12 19 for Roo! :O

noctmore said: 8, 12, 13, and 14.

These other asks refer to this meme.

1. The basics! Whats their full name, gender, and sexuality? Describe their general appearance and/or include a picture. Is there anything you canon beyond what the game allows?

Ruairidh Ryder, “Roo” for short. She’s nb afab, bi/whatever (since I’m apparently incapable of creating anything else). This is her current appearance. she shares hazel eyes and a matching tattoo with her twin brother (it was her idea, they were very drunk) - his is on the other side of his neck though. her hair is naturally dark - the silver/gray is a genemod. the scarring is from a barfight she doesn’t remember. the game CC doesn’t allow for her unhealthy pallor, long nose, the dark circles under her eyes or her general overly-lean and wiry appearance/frame.

2. Can’t always wear Initiative whites and blues, Whats their dress style like? Do they prefer casual wear, or being in armor? Is it the same as it was in the Milky Way? How, if applicable, has it changed since arriving in Helius?

dress style is pretty much covered up there under 31 I think. prefers casual wear (the tank and the jacket) due to her tendency to wish to do as she pleases. her preferences in armor tend towards techy, experimental, custom/modded pieces (some illegal and obtained via underhanded means). its not uncommon to find her wearing armor pieces from different sets cobbled together to suit her preferences. not much has changed since arriving in Heleus - except that outside of the uniformed rigidity of the Alliance, she has more room and ability to do.. whatever the fuck she wants.

8. Its all in the family. Explain their relationship with Alec, Ellen, and their sibling. If you changed anyone’s names or added a different sibling in your canon, explain why.

Roo and her mother were (are) pretty estranged - if you ask Roo, she was something of a workaholic. Roo loves her twin brother, but doesn’t know how to relate to him or how to connect with him. on some level she feels like she should be responsible for him, but knows she’s like the most irresponsible person ever. they don’t communicate as often as she knows they should. when they do talk, she feels like she’s reading from cue-cards, playing out a script of how a sister should act towards her brother. with her brother she does a lot of sorta “saying the thing she’s probably expected??? by the world??? to say??? in this situation???” she feels like a bad sibling. she ignores that feeling most of the time though.

Roo and her father’s relationship was strained and sometimes tumultuous, especially when she was a teenager. Alec was away on duty a lot. after he dies, she’s pretty mad at him for leaving again, for dragging her and her brother and humanity’s recruits along to Andromeda and pooping on the family name with his AI bullshit back in the MW in the first place, for Andromeda being a bust, for what he did with her mom, for all his lies and secrets ever, for burdening her with all this responsibility and shit that she never wanted to even be a million light years away from, for landing her in a shitheap crazytown situation and kicking the bucket. thanks dad.

when the twins were really young, though, Alec shared his love of new frontiers and exploring by taking the little Ryders on trips to wild places.. they grew up on bedside stories about his adventures in the Sierra Nevadas, through the Charon Relay, in the First Contact War. she remembers that stuff fondly.

12. Explain the way they feel about their squadmates, both initially and over the course of the story.

oof, quite the question. mmm here are some unstructured brief ‘snapshots’ from different points, in a rough note format, of my thoughts on the relationships between them and Roo (these arent descriptions of their relationships in their totality, mind) - 

Liam - his easy manner and early-on ‘normalness’ relative to all the crazy shit happening around her like Alec’s death, the new galaxy being a bust, being made the Pathfinder were.. not quite a reassurance or a stabilizing/grounding force, she’s was too guarded and disconnected from her feelings for that, but definitely they were a helpful dose of normality; the beer was a good call on his part; they had an impulsive Moment when they were both raw and reeling; later on, they clash some over the way he speaks to Vetra at points, over their shared recklessness/impulsiveness and mutual hypocrisies, over his (in her eyes) idealism/naivete, and over their differing ideas (values really) about crime and drugs in Andromeda. (I love Liam though) 

Vetra - from the very outset Roo taps the turian as 1) someone who can hook her up with things she and the Pathfinder crew need - ‘now here is someone established who knows people, the market, and can source what I ask for’ - as a jack of all trades procurer and 2) someone from ‘her’ side of the track. Roo’s plenty experienced in accessing that sort of stuff for herself, but Vetra’s been moving in Andromeda for over a year before Roo arrives. shes established. a lot of their first interactions center around and began from this. naturally, because of this and her keen observational skills, Vetra is the first person on the Tempest to recognize the full extent of Roo’s problems. a friendship develops out of this early association and out of the chequered backgrounds they have in common - they’re quite similar people in that regard. later on, Vetra becomes Roo’s closest and most valued friend. Roo comes to rely on Vetra’s calm manner and resourcefulness, and appreciates her dry sense of humor. I think Vetra is probably the only one from the Tempest crew Roo genuinely and completely trusts, and probably Roo’s first real friend ever (prior to the game all of her ‘friendships’ had been loose-bonding, shallow surface-level associations). Roo dotes on Sid. 

Cora - Roo really struggles with Cora. Cora is disciplined, successful and a good soldier. that’s everything Roo should be, but isn’t. Cora was close to Alec and trusted him and his vision - Roo wasn’t and didn’t. Roo struggles with some jealousy and feeling like Cora was sort of like the ideal daughter Alec wanted but didn’t end up with. she resents their close relationship/mentorship. she resents that Cora initially struggles with her own feelings of jealousy/resentment over not being made Pathfinder - Roo feels like, I sure af didn’t want any of this, this isn’t my fault or choice. she’d much rather Cora was the Pathfinder and then she could just go and do her own thing elsewhere with no responsibility. it’s a shame and kind of ironic because in a way they’re both lost biotic outcast outsider kids that don’t fit in and have troubles with parental figures. Roo thinks all the asari stuff is really stupid and doesn’t have any time or patience for any kind of philosophy shit. she also struggles with the feeling that she’s trying to grieve and come to terms with her father’s death and sort out her messed up feelings and thoughts on the whole thing, meanwhile Cora (in Roo’s eyes) makes Alec’s death all about herself for a while. Cora’s workaholic tendencies and focus on order don’t gel well with Roo’s lazyness and scattered approach to life. they have a love of hydroponics as some common ground. 

Jaal - ah Jaal. Jaal and Roo struggle for a long time to find a bare modicum of trust and common ground for a working comrade-relationship.. they both lack close ties and have no real sense of purpose and come from famous families and have issues relating to this, but they’re super opposites as people. Jaal is so loud, emotional, heart-on-his-sleeve, talk-about-our-feelings, effusive. it unnerves Roo and makes her feel intensely uncomfortable, he’s far too open, she’s intensely private about personal things and not at all introspective or prone to considering her feelings or discussing feelings in the least. she finds it really strange and alien (pun not intended). it’s far too much for her, almost overwhelming. also she can’t comprehend his spirituality or the emphasis on family. I think she found dealing with Jaal easier when he was still cagey, guarded and withdrawn (shortly after joining the crew). meanwhile, Jaal finds Roo inauthentic and disconnected, both from herself and her inner world and others (and it’s true), and unable to take anything seriously. to an angara she’s so closed off that she seems almost broken and possibly duplicitous (because what are you hiding? from us? from yourself?). she doesn’t let people in and also has a tendency to lie. it’s a bad combo for trying to engage with angara. Roo is Kadara personified; Jaal hates Kadara and what it represents.

Peebee - its not entirely plain sailing for Peebee and Roo, they have a couple fights, but they have more in common than they do that’s different, and they have more in common than Roo and the rest of the squad, Vetra notwithstanding. they’re both lone wolfy, external-stimulation-seeking, casual approach to things, keep people at arms’ length, reckless/impulsive, lacking in social graces because they dont care, tell lies, a chronic need to be in search of fun and adventure, etc. some contrasts - Roo is quieter, less completely-irreverent, less energetic & impish & cheerful, more secure, less interested in the academic. Roo also doesn’t experience the same growth Peebs does (her teamwork arc). still, they get on reasonably well. for a time they even engage in a casual fwb setup, it ended amicably. as far as friendships go, Roo appreciates that Peebs knows how to have fun and that they can kill time together doing whatever, while not going too far beyond the ‘surface’ level or pushing Roo to talk about herself, her feelings, or anything personal. Peebs Gets It. 

Drack - I’d venture to say that after Vetra Drack is the squadmate Roo is closest to. she starts out chafing under the “kid” stuff, thinking its condescending. they eventually reach an understanding, Roo realizes its affectionate in nature, gains +1 father/grandpa figure (which I think is something she sorely needs [see stuff about Alec above]). drack came to Andromeda because his clan came, she came because her family came, they both came to see new stuff and find new stuff to shoot. they have a love of a good fight in common, which naturally goes a long way to cement a friendship. Drack is also surprisingly insightful when it comes to Roo’s feelings - I think he identifies them much better and a lot quicker than she does, if she even does at all. she appreciates how cool and laidback Drack is and thinks he’s hilarious, a real riot. Chosen Family trope applies. she’s also super interested in his cybernetics. he cooks for her quite a lot I think - Roo’s idea of cooking is boiling water for instant meals. I think at one point Vetra expresses a wish that Drack raised her. I don’t think Roo’s feelings about him are much different.

13. Explain the way they feel about the rest of the Tempest crew?

Gil - they’re pretty fast friends. which is great for them both, because until then Gil only had Jill and Roo had no friendships with actual depth or substance (or only had Vetra, time-point depending). they settle into an easy friendship quite early on as they share a mutual understanding (neither of them want to discuss their pasts or their personal lives), similar interests (both a dab hand with tech and with cards), similar values (adaptability over sentimentality) and some unifying traits - both are sort of purposeless kids, they both impulsively do risky things without thinking them through. I think they recognize the kindred spiritness in each other. Roo loves Gil’s sense of humor. they drink and play poker together a lot. Roo hates Jill and thinks she’s weird and creepy and abusive and invasive. Roo wishes she could relate/connect to her brother the way she relates and connects to Gil.

Suvi - Roo likes Suvi fine enough I think, even enjoys her company somewhat. she’s smart and nice, helpful and useful, non-judgemental, and doesn’t push Roo’s boundaries about emotions or privacy etc. they do have verrry little in common. Roo appreciates her brilliance but Suvi’s religious views just don’t compute; Roo disagrees pretty strongly with her views on religion+science (Roo doesn’t believe in anything except herself really and sees nothing divine or intelligent about the way things are; nothing is mystical, everything is ‘flat’). but it’s not really a problem between them. Roo has no real interest in or head for philosophical discussions or that type of debates, however conversely she’s often looking for distraction, so there’s that. I think they sometimes sit up during the night cycle and watch the stars go by together on the bridge. sometimes in companionable quiet, and sometimes Suvi tells her all sorts of things she doesn’t know about space and science. Roo is happy to listen.

Lexi - Roo values her skill, approves of her objectivity and appreciates her aloofness. on the flipside, she finds the medical attention and questions invasive, unwanted and unwelcome. she does know Lexi is just doing her job and also trying to look out for her as a crewmate, but Roo doesn’t want to hear any advice, concerns or judgements about her lifestyle or habits. she routinely skips her medical exams, ignores her medical advice and lies to her about what she’s been doing (and not doing). I think they run into each other drinking in the bar more than they would like. I think Roo frustrates and stresses Lexi out a lot.

Kallo - they’re friendlyish. he’s sharp, he’s witty. sometimes they talk about random crap. I think he sometimes gives her a lowkey headache though and she wishes he’d loosen up. she struggles to relate to him somewhat because of his unique memory setup and his personal feelings about / being mired in the past. she’s not sentimental and takes risks, believes in adapting on the fly. they eventually become something close to friends once they reach an understanding. reckon they enjoy shit-talking the rest of the crew together, lol.

SAM - the technological advances, increases to her abilities and implications on a cybernetic/transhumanism front excite her, but mostly Roo tries really hard not to think about SAM and their connection. she misses being alone in her own head and hates & resents the impact on her privacy / general invasiveness of the setup. she blames her father for this though, not SAM. it’s not SAM’s fault.

14. How about Nexus leadership and the people on the Nexus in general?

briefly:

she thinks Kesh is cool

Addison is irrelevant to her

likes Tiran

“fuck Tann” (even though they’re both wildly out of their comfort zones and have been thrown off the deep end into something they’re not prepared for)

she feels disconnected to the people on the Nexus in general. yknow, she’s disconnected from most things. tbh she doesnt really care about most of them. she knows she doesn’t want to be responsible for their safety or survival. she knows she would have rather gotten to Andromeda and vanished into the crowd. the Nexus is a faceless mass she struggles to conceive of in any personal or meaningful way. she feels more at home on Kadara. the people in Kadara Port are more like her. Kadara Port is her favorite place.

19. How do they feel being in command of the Tempest? Whats their favorite part of the ship? Least favorite?

being in command of the Tempest is a mixed bag, at once freeing and caging. on one hand she’s psyched to have control of such an amazing hightech ship, lets get this baby dirty and fly away, lets go do crazy shit, go where she wants, do what she wants, see what she wants, the only person she’s beholden to is herself. fuck the rules and regimentation of the Alliance and everyone else, this is freedom now, and in a wild lawless place too. on the other, shes beholden to Nexus leadership and all these random people, she has a huge responsibility and burden that she DID NOT DID NOT want, and this was supposed to be her father’s ship and her father’s command. she’s not a hero or a reliable person and just wants to fuck off and do her own thing. I think she let Alec drag her to Andromeda so she could still be in the same galaxy and timepoint as her father and brother at least, and because ‘fuck it’/she lacks direction and drive/she had no ties in the MW/the things she likes are probably all the same no matter what galaxy you’re in/recklessly seeing new stuff/other ill-advised half-baked not-thought-out reasons - I think she was hiding from her father and brother that she planned on quitting the “Pathfinder team” once they arrived in Andromeda, kept up the lie so she could at least have passage and get there, yknow. on arrival she was gonna leave the Pathfinding whatever to her father and his team and fuck off to the Nexus underbelly to keep on pleasing herself and doing her own thing and generally being the same Roo she always was, just in a different galaxy. yeah that went well.

her favorite part of the ship was the tech lab. I suppose it still is, it’s just that she she doesn’t go there as much as she used to. with her interest in tech and need to keep herself/her mind busy, the tech lab was for a time a sanctuary where she hid out to avoid unwanted social contact and took tech apart and put it back together, modded things, experimented. unfortunately for Roo, Jaal opted to take up residence there when he joined the crew. that was a source of some frustration/irritation on her part for a while, and even a bit of tension between them over the use and sharing of the space. she ends up going there a lot less due to the aforementioned discomfort with Jaal’s expressive/effusiveness. she’d spend more time in the bio lab (she likes hydroponics) if it weren’t for Cora/her struggles with Cora. she likes the bridge when it’s unattended/autopiloted in the night cycle and the ship is travelling through space - she sits with a cup of coffee and her legs dangling over the ‘edge’, and watches space go by. I think she spends the most time in Vetra’s room, either alone or in companionable silence with Vetra as they each do their own thing, like their own datapads/terminals or respective tinkering projects, etc. she’s comfortable around Vetra and the space is out the way, with no thoroughfare. 

her least favorite part of the ship, ironically, is the Pathfinder’s Quarters. this space isn’t hers. it was not meant for her. it’s her father’s. and she hates that - what it means she’s lost, what it means she’s responsible for, what it means she was never meant to be doing.

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