#me calling them old men as if I’m not the same damn age as levi lmfao 🤣😭

[nendowo]

Finally got my hands on my fav traumatized old men the other day (they showed up on Valentine’s Day 😝💕)

Erwin’s like, “I can’t believe we get to live out in the world my father told me about, free from war and violence 🥹🌸”

While Levi’s just looking around like, “This house is a shithole.”

#me calling them old men as if I’m not the same damn age as levi lmfao 🤣😭 #eruri #levi ackerman #erwin smith #nendoroid #obitsuroid #nendography #toy photography

[randomposterofstuff]

Soldiers by Choice - Chapter VI

Author's Note: So, real life has been stressing me out immensely. Lol. And I really wanted to post this chapter as soon as I could, so please forgive me for any mistakes and any other problems. Haha. In any case, I hope that you all like it!

Also available on Archive of Our Own. Check my tumblr page to click on the ‘Archive of Our Own’ tab!

Tumblr Chapters List can be found here.

CHAPTER 6: Reasons and Apologies

Summary: Mikasa and Levi encounter troublesome Military Police officers while doing a supply run. Meanwhile, at the Cadet Corps headquarters, Eren Yeager and Jean Kirstein have another confrontation.

Year 847 (5 months later)

---

“Tch. They’re out of bleach.”

Levi glares at the empty row of shelves where jars of commercial bleach usually would be. A few feet away to his left, Mikasa speaks with the shop owner.

“Mr. Gale, I don’t understand. Section Commander Hange told us that you usually have stocks of everything during this time of the month.”

The Titan-scientist and Moblit were on the supply pick-up rotation for the current month. But since they were away on another observation expedition with the Research division, the task had fallen to the two Ackermans.

Mr. Gale, an aging man in his early 50s, clasps his hands apologetically. “I’m sorry, Captain. But due to some issues with our supplier, we won’t have stocks until next month.”

The dark-haired woman sighs at the news. “I see. We will just have to make do with an alternative and the other supplies.”

After a few more words and apologetic gestures from the shop owner, she approaches her co-captain, who is still glowering at the vacant racks.

“They won’t restock until next month.”

His frown deepens. “How the hell are we supposed to properly clean without bleach?”

Mikasa cracks a small smile at his displeasure over the absence of the cleaning agent. In the back of her mind, she muses that even after three years of working together, she still finds his pseudo-obsession with cleanliness to be comical to the point of disbelief.

“We can make our own cleaning formula.” She says. “The store has the necessary ingredients, and the budget is enough to cover them.”

The tautness in his jaw relents at this. “You know how to make bleach?”

She nods. “I do. My mother created her own cleanser. The employees at our estate use it.”

His eyebrows raise in mild surprise. “I didn’t know the Azumabitos also dealt in the cleaning business.” He remarks wryly.

She shifts her eyes from side to side before taking a step closer. "It's a closely guarded family secret." She whispers mock-conspiratorially.

He smirks. “Your secret is safe with me.” He speaks in a similarly hushed tone, and she mirrors his smirk.

---

After perusing the store for the needed ingredients, the two officers help the elderly shop owner place all their purchased supplies in eight wooden crates.

“That’s everything.” Mr. Gale comments as he places the lid on the final crate. “I’ll call my boys to help you load them on your cart.”

“There’s no need for that.” Levi says, already readying himself to lift some of the boxes. “We can handle it.”

The proprietor laughs good-naturedly. "Come now, Captain Levi. I know that you’re ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’ and that Captain Mikasa is the ‘Woman Worth a Hundred Soldiers”, but you can’t rea---”

He cuts himself off when the two Ackermans each lift four boxes with little effort.

Mikasa shifts the crates so that she faces the shop owner properly. "Mr. Gale, you've already received the payment from our budgetary officer, correct?"

The older man merely nods, his mouth still agape in shock at the display of inhuman strength.

“We’ll be on our way, then. Thanks, old man.” Levi states, unfazed by the reaction.

The warm afternoon sun greets them as they exit the shop. The commercial area of Trost is filled with chatter from the mass of patrons. Due to the crowded streets, they had to leave their wagon at a fairly secluded area some ways away from the store.

When they finally arrive at where they parked, the crowd has thinned considerably. The few people there are either entering or exiting the complex. The two are in the process of loading the crates onto the cart when they hear the sound of glass breaking, followed by a frightened yell to their right.

They turn their heads to the source see to see a small saloon. One of its front windows is covered by pull-down drapes, while the other one is unobscured. Through the glass of the second one, the co-captains see a middle-aged man and woman, presumably the owners, anxiously speaking to two Military Police officers.

“Whaddaya mean we have to pay?” An MP with light hair slurs loudly while gripping a long-necked bottle.

The woman, who looks to be in her early 40s, attempts to explain. “Sir, you’ve consumed more than two bottles already.” She says, wringing her hands together nervously. “And our store ---”

“Blah!” The other MP, a man with darker hair, sways as he unslings his rifle from his shoulder. Both the woman and her partner take a step back, visibly terrified. “We serve the kingdom!” He yells. “You lot should be grateful! Besides, your stuff tastes like shit!"

He unsteadily aims his rifle at a row of bottles behind the counter while his companion laughs. “You’re right, Ricky!” He shouts, smashing the bottle he was holding against the floor.

The one called Ricky guffaws. "Damn right, I'm right, George!" Slightly swaying, he disengages the safety lock. “I’ve been wanting to try this beauty out! They say this thing can shoot 15 bullets in a row after just one click!” Just as he is about to place his finger on the trigger, he is suddenly struck across the head. The impact of the attack causes him to drop his weapon.

“Ricky!” George makes to unsling his own rifle but barely has time to react before a heavy boot hits him in the stomach. He faintly registers his gun being snatched from him before he is thrown across the room and roughly crashes onto a table and some chairs. One second later, Ricky lands beside him with a loud thud.

They both groan for a moment before raising their heads and seeing the profiles of two other soldiers in the area where they had been standing before. “Hey!” George yells while unsteadily getting up. “What gives?!” He demands, face flushed with both embarrassment and alcohol. “Who are you anyway?!” He trains his glazed-over beady eyes at their assailants.

Levi narrows his eyes, not the least bit intimidated. “You were harassing innocent civilians.” He crosses his arms, leveling him with a look of disdain. "Taxpayer money is wasted on pigs like you.”

“They’re from the Survey Corps!” Ricky exclaims, pointing to the Wings of Freedom on the fronts of their jackets. “You two have got some nerve!” He glares, eyes glassy with inebriation. “Accusing us of wasting taxpayer money when you ---”

Mikasa quietly raises his rifle at him, causing him to cut himself short. Both MPs freeze at the movement.

“P—put that down and g—give it back!” Ricky demands, voice shaking.

Mikasa shifts her gaze from the anxious Military Police officers and to the firearm in her hands. She examines its long sleek frame and swipes her thumb over the grip.

“It saddens me to see that my father’s guns were used to frighten defenseless civilians.” She comments out loud, her tone a cross between pensive and disappointed.

George’s brows scrunch up in confusion at her statement. “Huh?!” The two MPs look at her dumbly, trying to comprehend the meaning behinds her words.

Meanwhile, Levi picks up the second rifle from the floor, ignoring the whimpers from the two pigs. He feels the gun's weight in his hands and notes that it is light compared to other models. He then places his thumb on the butt of the rifle and runs it over the engraved encircled cursive 'A' which serves as the insignia of Lord Mikhail Ackerman's gun manufacturing company. He muses that the emblem looks similar to the Azumabito clan symbol on the inside of Mikasa’s wrist.

“If it’s any consolation,” he begins, still looking at the rifle, “I think that your father did a great job with this gun, Mikasa.” He remarks almost idly.

“Thanks, Levi.”

“Levi? Mikasa?” George repeats their names, a hint of recognition in their slurred tone. “Mikasa… Mikhail A—“. Shock settles on his features as they finally connect the dots. His eyes further widen in realization when they shift to Levi. “… Ackerman.”

“You’re Levi and Mikasa Ackerman!” George exclaims, lips trembling. At his exclamation, Ricky’s mouth drops open as sweat starts to form on his brow. The two men nervously shift their eyes between the co-captains – panic and recognition clearing away the drink-induced glazes in their eyes.

“I mean, my lord and lady!” George suddenly bows at the waist. His companion scrambles to do the same. “Our apologies! We didn’t recognize you!”

Levi’s jaw clenches at their sycophantic gesture. “Tch. Do not call us those.” He hisses. “And quit your groveling.”

They straighten themselves instantly at the vitriol in his voice. “My lord?” One of them squeaks.

Mikasa takes a sharp breath. “We’re not at the royal court.” She states, an edge to her voice. “Furthermore, we’re acting in our capacities as officers of the Survey Corps. So, if you’re going to address us, do so accordingly.”

“Yes, my la---, I mean, Captain!” The same MP yelps. “We’re sorry!”

Mikasa narrows her eyes, clearly unimpressed. “You’re clearly not genuine.” She speaks coldly. “And it appears that the likes of you get your bravado from carrying my father’s guns. Perhaps I should tell him to terminate his weapons provision contract with the Military Police.”

“Please don’t!” They both plead simultaneously, alarm in their voices. Clearly frightened of the consequences should they be the cause of the loss of the contract. “This won’t happen again!”

The disdain in her dark grey eyes indicates that she is not convinced. “I don’t believe you.” Mikasa then grips that rifle’s ammunition magazine. “So, I’m going to take these.”

Following her lead, Levi makes to do the same with the rifle in his hands. “I’ll take care of this one.”

Once he’s done, Mikasa holds out a hand, and he gives her the second rifle. She throws the weapons at the feet of the two MPs. “Take those and leave.” She commands, voice near imperious. “And don’t forget to put your payment on the counter.”

The two men do as they are told. They wordlessly take the ammo-less rifles and practically empty their wallets onto the counter before leaving the saloon with their heads bowed.

Once they were out of sight, the two Ackermans turn to the shop owners, who had been silently watching the exchange from the sidelines with bated breath.

“We’re not from the Military Police.” Levi states plainly. “But all the same, we’re sorry for the trouble they caused.”

The middle-aged man shakes himself from his daze. “Oh, please! You have nothing to apologize for!” He says, a nervous but sincere smile on his face. “In fact, my wife and I should thank you, my lord and lady!” His eyes then widen at his slip of tongue. “I’m sorry, I mean---”

Mikasa raises her hands in a calming gesture. “It’s alright.” She assures him with a smile.

The man’s tension eases, relieved at her assurance.

“Thank you so much, Captains.” His wife steps forward, wearing a bright and grateful smile. “May we offer you something to eat and drink?”

“Oh, we ---” Mikasa begins, about to politely decline.

“It’s on the house!” The husband insists. “It’s the least that we could do for you! We insist.”

Mikasa observes their smiling and amiable expressions before turning to Levi. She lifts her brows, and he gives a slight shrug before taking out his pocket watch.

“I suppose we have time before we need to get back to headquarters.” He comments.

The shop owners beam at the response. “Wonderful! I’m Tim Briles, by the way, and this is my wife, Frances." Tim introduces himself and his wife. “Please, have a seat. The menu is by the counter. Order anything you want!”

"Sure." Levi replies, and he turns towards the turned-over tables and chairs. “I’ll fix the tables and chairs. I’ll have what you’re having.”

“Noted." Mikasa states as she makes her way to the counter. She peruses the menu and, after a minute of deliberating, settles on a sandwich platter and chamomile tea. She vaguely wonders if the tea selection is meant for customers with hangovers.

After an enthusiastic Frances takes their order, she makes her way to Levi, who has just finished righting the disarray of furniture. As she approaches, her co-captain suddenly pulls out a chair and gestures for her to sit.

Mikasa looks at him questioningly, and he tilts his head towards the offered chair.

She decides to play along. “How very gentlemanly of you.” She jests, voice half-coquettish as she moves to sit.

“Only for you, my lady.” He drawls as he pushes the chair in for her.

They both snicker at the mocking references to their noble backgrounds.

“So, what are we having?” He asks as he sits from across her.

“Tea and sandwiches.” He raised a brow at ‘tea’, and she smiles. "I know; I was also surprised to see it on the menu.”

Levi hums. “In any case, it’s too early for liquor.”

A few minutes pass, and Frances approaches their table with their food and drinks. “Here are your orders. Enjoy!”

The co-captains both thank the female shop owner, and they split the sandwiches and tea between themselves.

Comfortable silence ensues as they eat their sandwiches. Levi muses that the saloon’s turkey sandwich is quite good. He takes a look at the sandwich in Mikasa’s hand and deduces from the green poking out from the bread that it’s full of vegetables.

After he finishes his food and begins stirring his tea, a random realization suddenly occurs to him.

“Something wrong?” Mikasa asks, noticing the contemplative furrow of his brow.

“No.” He replies, taking out the spoon from his cup and gripping it by the rim. “It’s just that I realized you actually used the ‘I’m going to tell my daddy’ card.”

Mikasa blinks at the remark. A beat of silence passes before she bursts into laughter.

Her shoulders slightly shake as hearty chuckles flow from her. She laughs in earnest at the absurdity and the truth of the statement.

Levi’s lips curve upwards at her open display of mirth, observing how her usually stern eyes crinkle at the corners and how genuine joy shines through her typically reserved expression.

“I’m sorry.” Mikasa says, still giggling as she adjusts her cravat around her neck. “You’re right, but it’s just so ridiculous.” She remarks, her smile wide. “Come to think of it, I’ve never used it before.” She muses out loud, her lips still twitching.

“At least you used it for a good cause.” He quips, sharing in her amusement.

She chortles at his joke. He also lets out an amused sound.

She eventually sobers down, though a small smile still remains on her lips.

But after a moment, her eyes suddenly become downcast, and her smile disappears.

Levi frowns in concern at the abrupt change in her demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

She takes a breath before directing her gaze towards the afternoon sky beyond the saloon’s window.

“Moments like this…” she speaks quietly as she raises her hand to gesture at their light-hearted conversation, “…don’t come by often.” A sad gleam then enters her eyes. “In a way, it’s… sort of unsettling.”

Levi’s lips press into a firm line at the reality of her words. Every soldier in the Survey Corps knows that every encounter with the Titans could be their very last. Danger, risk, and bloodshed are their constant companions. And the absences of the comrades lost will always be felt by those who live to join the next expedition.

The survivors know that it is their duty to honor the sacrifices of the fallen by carrying on with their mission. Yet, this knowledge hangs heavy over the heads of those who remain standing.

“I know what you mean.” He says, voice solemn. “Enjoying a moment of peace can be hard sometimes, considering the things we go through.”

They remain quiet for a while, the atmosphere suddenly tenser. Mikasa closes her eyes and sighs before speaking again.

“Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like right now if I had stayed in the Capital or joined the clan’s Elite Royal Company.” She stares intently into her cup of tea, wistfulness underlying her tone. “I would probably be promenading with the other nobles in the parks. Or patrolling the grounds at the Fritz castle. Either way, my life would be simpler and less daunting."

A flash of resolve then enters her gaze. “But I already made my choice a long time ago.” She declares with a quiet certainty in her words. “And I’ve chosen to be a soldier for the Survey Corps.”

Levi quietly observes her profile. She sits with the graceful posture of a noble lady – a result of her upbringing. But her shoulders are squared with a soldier’s discipline. She holds her teacup delicately, but her fingers are calloused from years of wielding blades. Had she chosen differently, she could have been a socialite hostess.

The passing thought then prompts a question. “Why didyou join the Survey Corps in the first place?”

Mikasa half-smiles at that. It was a question she was often asked – the daughter of a noble joining any of the military branches was unheard of. Although, she never divulged anything apart from saying that she merely wanted to.

“I could ask you the same question, Levi.” She prompts back.

For all his fame, no one has ever known of his reason for joining the Survey Corps. Not surprising, since he would always brush off anyone who asks by telling them that it’s none of their damn business.

But Levi decides that he wouldn’t mind making an exception for her. “I’ll share if you share.”

Mikasa hums as if contemplating the proposition. “Fair enough.”

A moment passes before she continues. “I joined because of my Asian heritage.”

He raises a brow in confusion. But stays silent and waits for her to elaborate.

“The Azumabitos are the last Asians in the world.” She explains. “Our clan’s records state that our ancestors’ homeland, Asia, was full of rare creatures and mysterious fauna. Unfortunately, just like every other continent, it was invaded along with the rest of humanity by the Titans.”

“My parents gave me everything I needed while growing up. But they taught me that if I wanted something, then I should work to earn it.” Mikasa pauses as her lips twist wryly. “And since I wanted to see the roots of my Asian heritage, I decided as a child that I would join the Survey Corps to help eradicate the Titans.”

“It’s silly.” She remarks, more to herself, amused at her younger self’s reason. “But it’s what prompted me to enlist.”

Her expression then becomes more pensive, and she redirects her gaze to the table between them. “But after my first expedition, I realized that there are things which are bigger than my wants. I suppose you could say that it opened my eyes. Seeing first-hand the dangers and struggles made me understand the weight of the Corps’ mission.”

She looks up at him again. “I still want to see Asia…” she admits with a bashful look. “… and if we can eradicate the Titans during my lifetime, then I’ll be to do that.”

“But even if that won’t happen, I won’t have any regrets about joining the Survey Corps.”

With that, she concludes her piece. Levi remains quiet for a moment, feeling astounded and moved at the revelation.

“I’m glad that you joined, Mikasa.” He says softly.

She smiles at his remark. “Thank you for saying that.” A tinge of levity then enters her dark orbs. “Now, I believe it’s your turn to share.”

Levi tsks, but there’s mirth in the slight quirk of his mouth. “I suppose a deal’s a deal.”

He swirls the contents of his teacup before speaking. “When I was a kid, my great grandfather would always preach about upholding the clan’s tradition of being the Crown’s ‘Sword and Shield’.” He drawls out the last two words.

“Just like you and everyone else in our clan, I was trained to be the best fighter possible – because, of course, the royal family only expects the best to protect it.” He pauses to take a drink.

“Sure, it’s natural for the royal family to have protection.” He concedes. “But our clan’s talents are being wasted. The biggest threats are out there beyond the Walls, and our clansmen use their many years of special training to deal with problems that the Military Police pigs are supposed to handle.”

Levi lifts his gaze to hers. "So, I said to myself, ‘to hell with tradition’.”

She lets out a small laugh. “Of course, you would say something like that.”

He smirks before taking another sip. “So, I decided to enlist in the Survey Corps. Thankfully, my uncle became head of the clan even before my rite of passage. And since he isn’t as uptight and prissy as my great grandfather was, he let me go without much of a fuss. I wanted to put my skills to better use. And what better way to use them than to reclaim the lands stolen by the Titans from humanity?”

“And after everything I’ve seen…” he trails off, a more somber and pensive look in his eyes as he stares at his cup, “…I’m now surer than ever that I made the right choice.”

A quiet second passes before Mikasa speaks. “That’s very noble of you.” She says, her voice earnest.

Her co-captain snorts out a harsh laugh. “If it were anyone else, I’d say that they were kissing my ass.”

Remembering the incident with the two MPs earlier, she likewise smiles in good humor; his words can’t be any truer.

“But since it’s you…” his harsh smirk morphs into a gentler smile, “… thanks.”

Her smile remains as their eyes meet again.

“You know, it’s odd…” she begins off-handedly, “We’ve known each other for years, but this is the first time we talked about something like this.”

He raises a brow. “Is it? I wasn’t aware that there was a standard timeline for sharing things.”

Another light laugh escapes her, and Mikasa wonders if Levi realizes how humorous he can be at times.

---

Chatter fills the air of the communal dining hall of the Southern Division’s Cadet Corps Headquarters – with the main source of noise and talk being the long dining table where Eren Yeager sits with his friends.

“Eren, what you did was really cool!”

“Yeah, I don’t think that anyone else here would’ve been able to do that!”

From his seat at another table at the far right of the hall, Jean Kirstein watches as several trainees crowd around Yeager and pay him compliments for his incredible feat earlier this morning.

Connie sits across the green-eyed recruit with a wide grin on his face. “Eren, you were amazing earlier!” He exclaims. “Being able to balance yourself using defective equipment was incredible!”

Beside him, Sasha nods enthusiastically as she munches on a loaf of bread. She smiles broadly after gulping down her food. "You really did well, all things considered!" She exclaims while not so discreetly trying to take Connie's bread from his plate.

The shaved-headed boy snatches her wrist before she could lift the loaf to her mouth. “Oh, come on! You haven’t even finished your own bread!” He grumbles, exasperated as Sasha strains against his grip.

Eren chuckles at the display before scratching the back of his head with a sheepish expression. Even so, his green eyes seem to glow with pride and appreciation. “Thanks, guys.”

“Congratulations on a job well done, Eren.” Christa speaks from amongst the group that congregated around the table. “Your determination paid off.”

Eren's cheeks redden slightly at her smile. "Thanks, Christa. But I can't take all of the credit. Armin here gave me pointers, and Reiner and Betholdt told me to keep calm and not to give up." He then turns to the male blonde seated next to him. "Isn't that right, buddy?"

Armin’s lips quirk upwards. “It’s true that you got help, but all the work was you.”

“Armin’s right.” Reiner’s deep voice resounds from one side of the crowd. To his left, Bertholdt silently watches the interactions with a small smile. “At the end of the day, you were the one ultimately responsible for your success.”

Jean watches as more trainees give the brunette praises for his resolve and performance. It isn’t until he feels something nudge him in the side that he turns away.

“Just talk to him already.” Marco urges with a knowing look.

Jean scoffs at the comment. “Talk to Yeager? About what?”

Marco simply gives him a half-amused and half-exasperated smile. “You know what I mean.” He then picks up his glass of water. “It’s good that you want to apologize. It’s a mature thing to do.” He says before taking a drink.

Jean grumbles something unintelligible as he observes the sky through an open window. The last rays of sunlight are starting to fade behind the darkening sky. He can see some of their Commandant's assistant officers patrolling the grounds and inspecting the outdoor training equipment to ensure they're still working properly.

As his gaze lands on the row of 3DM gear simulators, Jean recalls how he, along with nearly everyone, laughed at Eren when he failed to steady himself using 3DM gear during his first attempt. He also remembers snidely commenting that Yeager was just "all talk and no bite" and how he brushed him off when he asked for pointers to improve.

Jean then sighs before getting up and walking over to the green-eyed recruit’s table.

---

Armin and Eren were in the middle of speaking with fellow recruits when the blonde sees Jean walking up to their table.

“Uhh… Eren?” He taps his friend on the shoulder.

At the prodding, Eren turns away from Mina and Thomas, who were standing behind him. His eyes narrow at the sight of Jean standing behind the other recruits surrounding their table. “What do you want, horse face?”

The entire room goes silent as everyone turns to Jean. The man in question averts his gaze as his cheeks flush at suddenly being the center of attention.

He stays silent for a moment before speaking. “I’m not here to fight.” He then finally raises his gaze to look at Eren. The crowd parts as he moves closer to the table.

Armin notes the sudden tension in the air as his childhood best friend stares at Jean with a cautious look – he deduces that Eren is not entirely convinced that Kirstein came in peace.

Jean halts when he’s near the edge of their table, just a couple of feet from where Eren sits. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I’ll be honest. I still think that going after Titans is stupidly dangerous.”

Eren's eyes further narrow at the remark. He rises to his feet, but Armin pulls at his arm before he can move towards Jean. "Hear him out first.” The blonde half-pleads.

Eren frowns but nonetheless sits back down. His eyes are still trained on Kirstein, who instinctively took a step back at his abrupt movement.

Jean takes another breath before continuing. “But I now get how serious you are.” He admits, voice quiet but clear. “You have real resolve, and I respect that. And I’m…” He pauses, his pride momentarily stifling his next words.

“… I’m sorry for making fun of you before.”

Some trainees gasp lightly while some simply stare – all surprised at his gesture. Armin sees that even Connie and Sasha have paused their food-related grappling to gawk at Jean. The blonde also quietly muses that the entire room probably half-expected another fight to erupt between the two boys. All eyes are now trained on Eren, who looks astounded with his eyes widened and mouth slightly agape.

Armin then lightly nudges his friend’s shoulder. “Well, aren’t you going to say anything?”

The question shakes the green-eyed trainee from his stupor. He blinks once before rising to stand – more calmly, Armin notes approvingly.

“Thanks, Jean.” The hardened look in his gaze is now gone. “I appreciate you saying that. Apology accepted.” He says with a small smile.

“And for what it’s worth…” Eren trails off as his eyes dart downwards, a hint of shame in them, “… I shouldn’t have scoffed at you for wanting to go into the Interior. After all, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be safe.”

He then looks directly at Jean again. “So, I guess I also owe you an apology.” He admits with a half-smile, hoping that it would lighten the mood.

It seems to have worked as Kirstein offers him a smile. “Glad to know that you can see things my way, Yeager.”

Eren grins more naturally at the response. “So… friends?” He asks, voice tentative as he holds out his hand.

Jean looks at the offered hand in surprise for a moment before observing the other boy’s expression. There’s a mix of uncertainty and apprehension in his countenance – possibly wary of how he would respond. But the look in Yeager’s eyes tells him that the offer of friendship is genuine.

He eventually grasps the hand offered to him. “Friends.” He says while giving it a firm shake.

There’s a smattering of applause as the crowd gives a slight cheer at the show of camaraderie. Armin especially claps heartily at the sight of the usually hot-headed Eren making peace with Jean even as he hears Connie yelp when Sasha takes advantage of the distraction to take a massive bite from the Springer boy’s loaf.

“Well, it’s nice that we’re all finally getting along.” Marco comments with a smile from the sidelines, hands still pressed together from clapping.

Jean sends a slightly annoyed look at Marco, who only continues to smile in return.

---

End Note: So, the 104th gang finally appears! Since Mikasa is a veteran in this story, I wanted to play a little with the dynamics of the 104th's relationships with one another. On this, I wanted Eren and Jean to have a friendlier relationship in this story than in canon. I hope that I was able to execute this idea (as well as all my other ideas) properly. Lol.

In any case, let me know what you think! Critiques and comments are most welcome!

#rivamika #levimika #levi x mikasa

[ms-march]

12 Days of Turn- “Cookies”

For those of you who may not be familiar with the young man in the corner, his name is Levi Tallmadge Ben’s 13-year-old little brother and the OC of @culper-spymaster​.  Her fic Band of Brothers (BoB) is absolutely amazing, so if you have not yet read it , please give it a look!  And I am sure by now you must have guessed that this is a crossover piece, it about the average length of a chapter and it was worked on by both Susan and myself.  We easily spent several days writing this for you all so if you like it please give it a like, comment, and/or reblog!

Levi was bored. Massively, and terribly bored. He and Zipporah had been in the damn wagon creeping by at a snail's pace along the wagon's trails for nearly an hour. The scenery didn't even change. It was the same trees and bushes all the way to Brookhaven. At least at the end of the journey, he'd get to see his father. His father. Who he hadn't seen in over a year. If only Benny and Sammy were there too, then they could have a real family holiday. But Ben was off fighting a war, and Sam was rotting away somewhere. It was just him and Zipporah for now. "Are we there yet?" Levi groaned ten minutes later. This journey was taking forever. Why did they have to take the wagon? "We're nearly there. Just a little farther," Zipporah chuckled patiently. As easy as it was to forget, Levi was just a normal 13-year-old boy, and it shone through, especially in moments like these. They continued on, but before long, the trees and bushes changed to small saltbox homes, large colonials, taverns, and shops. Finally, they were pulling in front of his grandfather Jim's house, a large colonial with pale shutters. His father was already waiting on the stoop, expectantly. Before the wagon even pulled to a full stop, Levi was jumping down and running towards his father. "Dad!" He exclaimed as he leaped into Nathaniel's arms. Zipporah stepped down from the wagon at a more subdued pace. "Levi, my boy! Look at you!" Nathaniel grinned, clutching his son tightly. "You're so tall! And your leg, it's good as new!" "Yeah, Zipporah was better than any doctor," Levi complimented as his father released him. "I'm sure she was," Nathaniel smiled sweetly, turning to Zipporah. "Hello, sweetheart." He leaned forward and gave Zipporah a deep kiss. Instantly, Levi's face scrunched up. "Ugh... I'm going to unpack the wagon," He grunted, turning his back to the lovesick couple, who simply chuckled.

Levi lugged the first of the trunks, likely Zipporah's, from the wagon, his father joining him shortly after watching him struggle with the trunk's weight. "How has she been, Levi?" Nathaniel asked under his breath.  It was purposefully quiet, obviously intended to reach Levi's ears only. "How has she really been?" Levi replied in the same tone, voice just above a whisper, "She has been dealing.  She visits with Anna as much as possible, and I have been trying to stay in and around the house if I can, just to make sure she doesn't worry too much about me. Auntie Loretta gave her job at Uncle Lucas's orchard, so that keeps her busy." Nathaniel sighed, helping his son move in the trunk into the foyer, glancing over to Zipporah waiting in the parlor. "I wish that she did not have to remain there," Nathaniel shifted his gaze down to Levi, "You as well.  I have already lost one of your brothers due to this damn war, it's also keeping me from seeing Benjamin, and now it must tear you from me as well." "It's ok, father. We'll be ok. I'll keep Zipporah safe, and don't worry about Benny. He can handle himself; Caleb will take care of him." Levi understood how Nathaniel felt.  He has seen things he never should have at his age because of the war.  He was becoming more and more used to being left behind because of this war.  But Levi did not say any of this.  He just offered his words of comfort, as empty as they may have been. Levi's struggle was not his father's and would give him no cause to think it was. Let him worry about Ben and pray for Sammy, but he will not be given any such strife by Levi. The men returned to the wagon, pulling out Levi's trunk and stacking it on top of Zipporah's.  Levi walked back to the doorway, intending to grab the last of the trunks, turning to search for his father.  Nathaniel stood just behind the parlor's line of sight, staring longingly into the room at Zipporah.  Levi rolled his eyes, groaning to himself, and called out behind him, walking out the door, "I'll get the last one, Dad! It'll be light, only presents." Levi lugged the light trunk from its position in the wagon, pulling it into his arms, and instantly regretted turning away his dad's help. Whatever Zipporah packed in here was as heavy as bricks.  As he was busy struggling with getting the trunk into his arms, a too-sweet familiar voice rang in his ears from a distance.  Unfortunately for Levi, he noticed it the same moment he pulled the trunk into his arms, promptly dropping it partly on his foot, causing a loud curse to slip out of his lips.

Adrienne Fairfax had decided that she hated taverns.  There was always someone to harass or someone harassing others.  First in York City with the young Tallmadge boy, now in Brookhaven with the tavern owner, and both over the cause of a room.  She ought to go to the local garrison and complain. There was not a single respectable establishment in this town, and so she had become frustrated enough to argue with the tavern owner in front of the building.  There was a loud, profane shout in the distance, a familiar shout.  Excusing herself from her heated argument with the man outside the tavern, Adrienne approached the uncovered wagon, and the raggedy little boy that had become more and more familiar to her stood there, leaning against the cart and cradling his foot, muttering another string of profanities under his breath.  Before Adrienne could approach him, a quaint brunette woman rushed from the house, a dirty blonde haired man following her to crowd around the poor boy as he tried to wave them away. "I'm fine, Dad. I just got distracted." "I thought you said it was light, Levi," the man, presumably his father, scolded. "I thought it was," Levi defended, "What did you put in there, Zipporah?" "Just the gifts," the brunette, who she could now identify as Zipporah, replied. The dirty blonde haired man, Levi's father, looked up, making eye contact with Adrienne and his demeanor changed immediately, "Zipporah, Levi, head inside." Zipporah followed his line of sight and nodded, placing a hand on Levi's shoulder, but he did not budge. His eyes, too, rested on Adrienne as he spoke. "Zipporah, head inside," he said, continuing before she could protest, "Everything is fine, just head inside." "Levi," Nathaniel whispered sharply, grasping Levi's arm tightly when the boy tried to stand, "This is not the time for more of your shenanigans." Levi did not reply, simply brushed him off with a brisk nod and began to limp over to Adrienne, grabbing her roughly by the arm and walking her out of earshot.  As they came to a stop, Levi spoke in a hushed and clipped tone, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I heard you scream; I came to see if you were alright," Adrienne replied indifferently. "Not that," he said, clenching his jaw, "What are you doing in Brookhaven?  This is borderline stalking me." "It is not!" she defended, a wave of sudden anger seeping into her tone, "My horses needed to be changed, one had an incident with the ferry, and now we are stuck here for the night." She huffed, her tone becoming short, "Believe me when I say I have no such desire to stay here." Levi examined her face for a moment in the silence before he cracked a grin and started to laugh, "You couldn't get a room, could you? That's why you were arguing at the tavern?" Adrienne flushed a rather pretty shade of pink from her embarrassment but offered no rebuttal. Levi, still allowing a short chuckle to escape from his lips, spoke, "You go get that fancy little carriage of yours taken care of, and I'll see what I can do about a place to stay." His eyes shifted behind him, to his father staring worriedly at his son as they discussed, "As soon as I go talk to my dad." Adrienne gave a short nod and returned to her carriage as he requested, leaving Levi to explain the predicament he just placed them in to his father.

Nathaniel took Levi in his arm as he returned, "Levi, what on earth could such a girl want with you?" "What? You don't think I can get a gal like her? I'm a catch," Levi responded, appalled. His father just looked back impassively. "Relax. Lady Fairfax just wanted to make sure I was ok." Nathaniel's eyes grew wide, and he bit back a gasp as he pulled Levi closer, dropping to a whisper, "Lady Fairfax?  What on earth could she want with you?" "Oh," Levi replied cheerfully, his voice remaining at regular volume, "We know each other.  I wouldn't say we're friends, but I like to think I'm growing on her. Like fungi." "You know each other?" Nathaniel whispered, shock clear in his voice, "Levi, what did you do?" "Just now or the first time I met her?" "I have a feeling that the answer 'just now' will do me far more good." "She was having troubles with the tavern owner in securing a room for the night, so I told her I would find somewhere for her to stay." "And where," Nathaniel began, his voice exhausted, "Exactly is that?" "With us, of course," Levi replied as if the answer should have been obvious. "Levi!" his father exclaimed, sighing, "Have you lost your mind?  She can't stay here with us." "Why not?" "I-" Nathaniel was stuttering over words, stumbling for an answer.  Finally, he found one as he began, "Because there aren't enough beds." "You and Zipporah can share," his father gaped at him, scandalized, "It would do you both some good." "Absolutely not.  That young lady cannot stay with us." "Who cannot stay with us?"  Zipporah's voice rang clear from the doorway, causing both of them to turn their attentions' to her. "The girl by the cart earlier," Nathaniel replied at the same time Levi did. "My friend."

At the word 'friend,' Zipporah's eyes flicked over to Levi, raising her eyebrow curiously. 'Friend' wasn't a term used often or lightly around the boy. Then furrowing her brow, she approached Nathaniel, wrapping her hands around the front opening of his coat, "And why can Levi's friend not stay with us, my dear?" Levi watched, amused, as he saw his father's mind go blank as she peered up at him, smiling sweetly.  He tried his best to protest, his attempts suddenly half-hearted, "Zipporah, she's a Lady, aristocracy." She hummed in acknowledgment, allowing her hands to run down from the top of his coat to the middle, "And how does that affect anything?" This time Nathaniel could do nothing but stutter and trip on his own tongue; Levi even bet that the rather loud snort that escaped him went unnoticed by the man as his mind short-circuited. "Yes," Zipporah hummed, "I think that we can more than accommodate another person here.  I will have my things placed in your room for the time being." She turned to Levi, still smiling sweetly, "How many nights would she be staying with us?" "Uh, good question," Levi shrugged, "Didn't ask." "Alright, well, you go fetch her," She turned back to Nathaniel, who appeared to be coming out of his trance, and smiled sweetly, "And we shall go prepare the rooms upstairs?" His father let out a pathetic noise that could have been a yes, or a whimper, causing Levi to crackle with the laughter that attempted to escape his lips.  Nathaniel cleared his throat, shaking his head clear before nodding firmly and heading into the house quickly with Zipporah strolling leisurely in behind him. As they disappeared into the house, Levi took running after Adrienne towards the tavern. Adrienne was talking to a footman in the livery stable beside the tavern when he arrived. "Alright, got it all sorted. You're staying with us. Zipporah got involved, and my dad sang like a canary. Or rather... didn't sing," Levi told her, as she finished her conversation, the footman walking off.

"Are you sure I am not imposing?" Adrienne asked him. "Nah. Just let me and Zipporah worry about my father. What Zipporah gets involved, he's a lovesick pushover," Levi responded, grinning as he started walking back to Grandpa Jim's with Adrienne. "Especially since he hasn't seen her in over a year." "Why isn't your dad in Setauket with you?" Adrienne asked him, curious as to why his father was living so far away from his loved ones. "There was...an incident in Setauket last year," Levi hedged slightly, thinking back to August of 1777. "One of the Redcoats in town basically went crazy. They were rounding up Patriots, and they were going to send them to the Jersey. But this soldier...he decided to defy orders and hang the Patriots instead. The outcome was one hanging, a dozen or so dead Continentals, and I was shot." Adrienne pulled to a stop in shock, eyes grown wide as she stared at the boy. "Surely you are not referring to any such soldier of His Majesty's Army?" Adrienne questioned. "You bet your fancy, pretty little ass, I am," Levi replied. "The soldier in question is now Captain of the Queen's Rangers." "And it truly happened?" she spectated, electing to ignore parts of his reply, "I have never been given cause to believe such tales, though I have heard many of misconduct before." "Of course, it happened, and I have the limp and scar on my leg to prove it," Levi replied as they approached the colonial home. "What other reason would my father have to live over an hour away from us?" Adrienne furrowed her brow slightly, careful with her questioning, "And they gave the officer, a presumed gentleman, in question a promotion for such abhorrent and disgraceful behavior?" "I'd use the term 'promotion' loosely. Same rank and he isn't even technically part of the Royal Army anymore. But no, he didn't get punished," Levi told her as they stood facing each other in front of Levi's Grandpa Jim's colonial. "Anyway, this is where we're staying." Adrienne had intended to question the boy further on what he meant by 'no longer a part of the Royal Army' but was stopped by the house itself. "Oh," she began, taking in the flat and simple facade. "It is certainly very," she trailed off for a moment before continuing, "American?" "Thanks," Levi grinned. "My Grandpa Jim built it." Adrienne hummed politely, thinking to herself, 'It certainly looks it.' Thankfully, she was saved from having to search for a polite reply by the dirty blonde man, Levi's father, who had come out to the porch to greet them.  She almost took pity on the man. He looked terrified, as severely as he attempted to hide such a thing.  He brought his hand around her but abstained from touching her silks, leaving his hand hovering just off from her back as he motioned with his other hand inside the house.  Levi bounded forward, rushing inside to a room full of casually chatting voices and the sound of a crackling fire, leaving Adrienne to stand alone in the hall with his father, as well as the horribly awkward tension rolling off the man in waves. "Lady Fairfax, I presume? Please make yourself at home," Nathaniel greeted the young lady, then with a sheepish smile, "I do hope my son hasn't been causing you too much trouble?" "Only the necessary kind," she assured him as warmly as she could, "Though, dare I say that he might be incapable of avoiding most of the trouble he encounters." Adrienne gave the man a slight curtsy as her mother taught her to greet him properly, "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Tallmadge." "Please, call me Nathaniel. Zipporah should be upstairs setting up your room if you would like to go get yourself settled," Nathaniel informed her, gesturing up the stairs. "Your room will be the first on the right." She nodded to him politely and made her way up the stairs, aware of his stare on her back the entire time.  The door to the bedroom was open, finding it exactly where Nathaniel told her it would be.  The room was positioned so that she would hear any and all footsteps in the upstairs hall and on the stairs, both a blessing and a curse. There was the brunette, Zipporah, dressed in a somewhat pretty floral pierrot jacket and a dark green colored quilted petticoat.  She was humming a jaunty tune to herself as she unfolded and tucked bedsheets, stopping in her actions to look over her shoulder at the sound of Adrienne in the doorway. "You must be Levi's friend. I am Zipporah, Nathaniel's fiancee," Zipporah introduced herself. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady…?" Zipporah raised an eyebrow in question, waiting for Adrienne to finish the introduction. "Fairfax," Adrienne offered, "Lady Adrienne Fairfax of Virginia." She made sure to give the woman before her the same courtesy given to Nathaniel, greeting her with a curtsy and a nod of her head in acknowledgment. Zipporah went back to preparing the bed. "I was rather shocked to hear that Levi had a friend, let alone a female friend," Zipporah told Adrienne casually. "He's a 13-year-old boy, after all. Half his mind still thinks girls are gross, while the other half is saying girls are pretty. So I am rather curious as to how you two came to meet."   "He tried to bribe me out of my room in York city," Adrienne replied plainly in her sweet tone, leaning against the doorway slightly, "An endeavor in which he did not succeed.  And then proceeded to act as my valet for the duration of my stay in the city." Zipporah let out a breathy laugh. "He didn't steal your key and lock you out of your room, so call yourself fortunate," she chuckled, shaking her head at the boy's antics as she tucked in the bed's sheets. "Likely because my key was not on my person," Adrienne offered the woman, "It was in the possession of my godfather, Lord Howe, who I had come to York city to visit." At that, Zipporah's head snapped to look at Adrienne, eyes wide. "Lord Howe? As in William Howe, the British Royal Army general?" Adrienne smiled at the recognition, affirming her supposition, "Yes, Madam.  The very same." Zipporah was impassive for a moment before shaking her head with a small smile, snorting in a very unladylike fashion. "And suddenly everything makes sense," she muttered under her breath, almost too low for Adrienne to hear. Adrienne furrowed her brow, approaching slowly so that they were no longer speaking freely across the small room, "I am afraid I do not follow.  What precisely makes sense now?" Zipporah's eyes flicked up at her in shock, the gears in her head working viciously. "Sorry, that is way above my station of knowledge and definitely above yours," Zipporah told her after a moment. "If you were meant to know, you'd know already." "And who," Adrienne spoke low in tone, stepping too close to Zipporah for the brunette's own comfort zone, "Says that I do not." "The fact that you had to ask says you do not, my Lady," Zipporah stated simply. "Funny," she replied impartially, "I was under the assumption that the youngest Mr. Tallmadge was assisting his elder brother by visiting a few friends in the city.  Few as they may be." Adrienne smiled innocently at her, "But what would I know." "When it comes to Levi, helping his brother is all the information you need to know. Trust me, the less you know, the better," Zipporah sighed tiredly, suddenly exhausted. "Well, he has done a miserable job at that," Adrienne laughed quietly before smiling comfortingly at Zipporah, "But it takes one to know one, I suppose." "He's done better than you might think. Levi has a good sense of one's character. But what do I know about all this? I'm just the mom," Zipporah shrugged. "I am sure," Adrienne agreed, "Which is why I will not be mentioning to the Major how it took less than five minutes to get him to admit to such activity." Clearing her throat, Adrienne ran her hands over her immaculate silk skirts, flattening non-existent wrinkles, "The trunk needs to be partially unpacked. The Mulberry silk doesn't take well to being closed up for too long.  If there is anything I could do to help you, please let me know; otherwise, I think it best to excuse myself and leave you to finish here." "Well, they're your clothes. Make yourself useful and unpack them, then, young lady," Zipporah responded in an unintentional 'Mom' voice. Adrienne, who had already turned towards the door, turned back around to look at Zipporah, who now had her back facing the blonde, with her mouth slightly agape.  Zipporah looked over her shoulder, raised an eyebrow at the young woman, and then pointedly looked at Adrienne's traveling chest.  Now, Adrienne was aware that she had offered her assistance, but she had not expected the other woman to take her up on the offer.  She hesitantly approached the trunk, opening it as she attempted to keep her skirts from gathering dirt by brushing the floor.  Crouching down with skirts in hand, Adrienne unpacked the fussy silks with perhaps a bit more struggle than she would have liked, courtesy of her hat.  As she did her best to unpack, Adrienne could hear the humming as Zipporah returned to the sheets, noting when it stopped more by the intense stare the brunette had fixed on her back as she watched the blonde struggle unpack than the lack of sound. "You doing ok over there?" Zipporah asked, not taking her eyes off the girl. "Yes, of course," Adrienne replied politely, utterly unaware of just how out of breath she sounded.  This should be easy, but the bending and interference of her skirts, lace, and accessories was proving to make the task quite challenging. "Alright," Zipporah answered skeptically. "Just looking like you aren't used to unpacking your own trunk." Adrienne flushed a light pink across her cheeks and looked sheepishly to Zipporah, knowing there were no words that could defend her in this situation.  Adrienne may have been some form of great lady, but that mattered very little in this quaint country house. "If you really need the help, I can go get Levi to help you unpack. Sorry to say, we don't have any other ladies in the household," Zipporah offered sweetly, behind a poorly hidden, devilish smirk. Adrienne's flush suddenly turned a very light pale at the idea.  If there was one thing that she had learned from her week with the young boy, it was that he could be absolutely relentless in his teasing.  Especially whenever it was something that any average person would have been perfectly capable of, not being so squeamish as to shy away from it.  But before she replied, declining the offer, Adrienne weighed her choices.  She could stay here herself and attempt to unpack the trunk, leaving her in an incredibly disheveled state when she returned to her hosts, or she could bite the bullet and suffer through the teasing from the younger boy but at least maintain some sense of dignity, if not propriety.  With a slightly defeated sigh, Adrienne conceded, "That would be much appreciated, Madam.  Thank you." Instantly, Zipporah raised an eyebrow in surprise. She hadn't been expecting that. She had been expecting the younger girl to decline out of pride. Didn't really matter to Zipporah, she got to be entertained either way, but now she would have endless enjoyment from seeing Levi having to touch ladies undergarments. Oh lord, when Benjamin and Caleb heard of this…. "As you wish," Zipporah said, inclining her head before sweeping from the room. However, she wasn't going to go all the way downstairs, just to come back up. Standing at the top landing, she leaned over the railing and yelled. "Levi! Get your butt up here!!" Adrienne stumbled at the sudden yelling as she attempted to rise to her feet, almost sweeping her flat onto the floor.  To say that she was unused to such noise and ruckus would be acceptable in any other place. Women and men of her breeding were usually far more gentile and subdued in their tone and volume.  But she allowed the complaint to slip through her mind, keeping such comments to herself, opting instead to reach out and catch herself, her skin getting pale again, just as it was regaining some color. 'So much for dignity,' she thought. With loud stomping, Levi came stomping up the stairs, pulling to a stop on the top landing beside Zipporah, an irritating look on his face. "What the hell, Zipporah?" "Help Lady Fairfax unpack her trunk," Zipporah ordered him, none too gently. Levi's eyes quickly flicked from Adrienne to Zipporah and back. "Why? Can't she do it?" He shrugged, annoyed. It was just a trunk. Any normal person could unpack a trunk. "You're doing it because I'm telling you to do it. Now go," Zipporah ordered sternly, pointing to the trunk beside Adrienne in the guest room. Levi let out a dramatic groan before turning and stomping over to Adrienne. Adrienne had seen such behavior from the boy before, mostly complaining about how his arms ached from carrying 'absurd amounts of bags and boxes' whenever Lord Howe and her went out to peruse the city's shops. Still, this time Adrienne did not find herself playfully annoyed.  This time she truly felt as if she was the annoyance, however clear as it may be that Levi was pulling their leg.  She stared silently as he approached the trunk, moving a step away from her. Crouching down, he started pulling clothes from the trunk. Quilted petticoats, silk petticoats, jackets, gowns, panniers, chemise, cloaks, muff, hats, and lace. All types of clothes. Some looked the same. Others looked different. Levi didn't quite understand why she had to have two or three petticoats that looked nearly identical. He pulled out another garment and looked at it curiously. "What the hell is this?" Adrienne looked down at the pure white piece that was being held in the boy's hands, a soft linen chemise, and she blanched, practically fainting at the very idea of such a thing being put on display.  It would make sense that he had never seen one before, and surely the boy did not know that such an item was meant to be handled discretely. Adrienne's floundering suddenly made her wish she had a fan behind which she could hide, but of course, her fans were packed underneath the rest of the garments. "My apologies, I thought I had gotten the last of those already." "That doesn't answer my question. Actually, you seem to actively be avoiding my question," Levi responded, his piercing blue eyes flicking up to burrow into Adrienne. Zipporah stifled a laugh behind her hand from her spot against the door jam, where she was watching the exchange. "So I repeat, what the hell is it?" Adrienne braced herself against the bed as she replied as quickly and meekly as possible. "It is a," she paused, swallowing in an attempt to keep her wits about her before she fainted back onto the bed out of sheer embarrassment, "Chemise.  It is a lady's chemise." Levi immediately let out a loud yelp, dropping the chemise. Zipporah tried to hold back her laughs, she really did. But nope, she couldn't do it. The laughs came bubbling out, and soon, she was laughing loudly, with only the door jam holding her up. Levi glared over at her, eyes narrowed in accusation. "Zipporah, did you just play me?" "No, no. Lady Fairfax really does need help unpacking," Zipporah laughed, finally taking control of herself. "Then you can do it," Levi growled, getting up and stomping off to his room across the hall, irritation, and embarrassment rolling off him in waves. The bedroom door slammed loudly behind him, the silence echoing off the walls afterward. Adrienne, attempting to diffuse the tension, spoke softly to Zipporah, "Well, I think that went well.  All things considered." "For Levi, definitely," Zipporah chuckled as she reentered the room and crouched down next to the trunk. She picked up the discarded garments and started putting them away in drawers. "Thank you," Adrienne offered, sitting on the edge of the bed till the lightheadedness went away. "You'll excuse me," she suggested as she sat, feeling bad for leaving the woman to the clothing. "I am afraid I'm feeling incredibly faint, and I would be terribly embarrassed to pass out in front of you." She had minimal dignity left, but by god, she would cling to it as best she could. Zipporah nodded sympathetically. "Take the time you need. Is there anything I can do for you?" Zipporah asked, looking up at the girl. Zipporah supposed she wouldn't give her too much more of a hard time, she probably did have a long day. Adrienne knew her answer should be a glass of Madeira. She had heard enough from McHenry during her Christmas at Valley Forge to know that it was a fine replenishment for the blood and often helped best when an individual was faint.  But she did not ask, knowing that she had asked plenty already. "Oh, no, thank you.  I do not want to be a further burden to you, Mrs. Tallmadge." "It's not a problem. To be fair, we have tortured you enough for one evening. The least we can do is offer you some comforts," Zipporah responded, putting the last of the clothes away. "However, if you'd prefer to be left alone and get settled, I can leave you be." "Oh, I would hate to be rude," Adrienne began, smiling weakly, "But I would also hate to take time away from you all sharing it with each other." To be honest, she was desperate to curl up in her dressing robe with her books and forget all that had occurred today. "I truly appreciate that," Zipporah told Adrienne earnestly. "You look exhausted. I will leave you be." Zipporah nodded in her direction, then swept from the room, leaving Adrienne alone.

Adrienne sat in the bed, sheets haphazardly thrown over her legs, candlelight burning over her shoulder as she read. The sun had begun setting already in the window, casting shadows over the room that went unnoticed.  She barely noticed the soft knock on the door, her attention being drawn by the unusually soft voice belonging to Levi. 'He must be terrified to enter now,' she mused, pulled her dressing gown closer around her as she closed her book. "Yes?" she called softly to the still-closed door. "Can I come in?" His voice was soft and slightly sheepish. "You mean am I decent?" she teased, continuing tenderly, "Because if so, the answer is yes.  You may come in." The bedroom door quietly opened, and the boy stood awkwardly in the doorway, shuffling on his feet and avoiding eye contact. It made him look pitifully small and young. "Would you mind helping me with something?" He asked, his hands fidgeting behind his back. "Depends. What is it?" She bookmarked her page with a ribbon and placed the book in her lap. "I am afraid you might have to wait for me to get dressed again." "That's fine. I want to surprise Zipporah and my dad with Christmas cookies when they get back from their date...but I don't know how to make them. Or anything else, for that matter," Levi told her, finally glancing up at her with those big, blue eyes. Adrienne's heart melted slightly at the sweeter side of the boy; she sympathized with his request. She remembered making many a gift for her own parents, made mostly out of things that made her mother very cross with her.  She had lost count of how many curtains she had terrorized for the same cause. "Of course," she nodded, "But I am afraid it will be a learning experience for both of us." There was a pause before Adrienne continued, cautiously, "What exactly would be appropriate for a kitchen, as far as attire goes?" Levi let out a bark of laughter, but with her, not at her. "Something casual, something you wouldn't mind getting dirty. But don't worry, we have aprons. I'll meet you downstairs," Levi grinned, turning on his heel and sprinting excitedly from the room. Adrienne huffed, forcing herself from the warmth of the bed to the dresser.  Usually, she would not have to assemble her own outfits, but she never minded doing so.  Adrienne enjoyed her clothes far too much to ever complain about such a thing.  After lots of searching, she found a simple blue long-sleeved gown, donning a warm winter lace fichu, short entanglements, and a light blue sash around the waist.  Adrienne left her hair in the smoothly assembled half-up style that Zipporah had offered gladly to do for her and descended down the stairs. "Levi?" she called out, the house silent besides the crackling of the fires, providing warmth to the house. Upon entering the kitchen, Adrienne saw Levi in the corner, pulling a large bag of flour from the pantry. He glanced quickly over his shoulder at her, seeing she was fully dressed in casual wear. "Apron is on the chair if you want it. Once you got that taken care of, can you get a fire started in the oven?" Levi grumbled out, dragging the flour across the floor towards the counter and the bowl sitting on top. Adrienne approached the chair, wrapping the apron around her waist as she watched him struggle with the flour. "Do you always take on more than you can carry, or is that just today?" "I'm the youngest of three boys, both are...were soldiers and Yale graduates. This is totally normal. I got a lot to live up to. I have to make a name for myself somehow," Levi explained, pulling a knife out to cut the top of the bag open. "And will you be attending Yale as well then, Mr. Tallmadge?" Adrienne asked, still watching him from where she stood as he worked. "That was the plan, before the war. But since the war broke out, I haven't really been to school. So right now...I essentially only have a fifth-grade education," Levi replied, setting the knife down and hefting the bag of flour into his arms. As he went to dump the flour into the bowl, instead of pouring in moderation, the whole bag dumped out into the bowl with an ungracious flour cloud. "Oops," Levi coughed, waving the flour cloud out of his face, his whole head and torso coated in flour. Adrienne laughed, ignoring the light flour dusting her skirts and bodice received, having fun at Levi's expense. "You know, I think that perhaps that a bit too much face powder, but if you are certain, I can go grab my rouge, and I am certain you will be very handsome, Mr. Tallmadge." "Are you calling me ugly? I'm a dream, a total catch, the complete package. Girls are beating down my front door," Levi responded, dramatically scandalized at the insinuation that he wasn't already handsome. "Can you start the fire in the oven while I get the eggs and powdered coriander seed?" "I would love to," Adrienne began, laughing gleefully at the younger boy's antics, "Just one question.  How does one light a fire?" "There's some flint in the top drawer, and kindling is by the fireplace. Just put the kindling in the oven and spark the flint," Levi explained, chuckling slightly. "Right, spark the flint," she trailed off, "And how would one do that exactly?" Levi sighed, rolling his eyes slightly. "Ok, change of plans. I'll start the fire, and you get the eggs and coriander seed. Coriander seed is in the pantry, eggs are in the cellar," Levi told her, pointing to the pantry on the side of the kitchen. Adrienne nodded, heading first to the cellar with a candlestick.  She wasted no time down in the dark underground storage space behind the house, climbing back out with several eggs carefully put into a basket.  Entering the kitchen once more, she placed the basket on the counter atop of a small mountain of flour that had seemingly missed its intended target. Next, Adrienne pulled out the glass jar of the Coriander seeds and placed them on the table as well, chuckling as Levi cried out triumphant when the fire sparked to a comfortable roar. Levi turned back to Adrienne, nodding in approval as he saw the eggs and the coriander seeds. Turning to the countertop, he pulled a slightly floury cookbook towards him. "So...we need sugar, and the coriander seeds need to be powdered," he read, brushing the flour from the pages. "If you want to powder the seeds, I'll get the sugar. The mortar and pestle are on the counter, right there." Adrienne took a moment to cheer as she turned to find the bowl and tool.  This she knew precisely how to do.  Her father used to make his own various herbal concoctions as experiments and oftentimes would let her help him.  She could distinctly remember that he would wrap his hands around hers and walk her through the motions of the tool while tucked away in one of Belvoir's greenhouses.  She leaned over Levi to look at the recipe in order to discern the amount required, not noticing just how close she was to the boy as she peered down at the flour-coated book. Instantly, Levi flinched away from the close contact. He hated fast movements or unpredictable movements. He stumbled a bit before regaining composure, clearing his throat. "Yeah, I'll just...get the sugar," he rasped out awkwardly, turning his back on her and entering the pantry for the bag of sugar. Adrienne furrowed her brow but let the boy go, happy to sing softly to herself as she crushed the seeds, motions careful and well-rehearsed, constantly shifting eyes to the door Levi had disappeared through, then back to the cookbook and her hands as they worked.  She was attentive this time, to when the door creaked back open, her singling trailing off as Levi entered. "At least if this one gets everywhere, it's delicious," Levi commented as he pulled the smaller bag of sugar out on his shoulder, slamming it down on the countertop beside the bowl full of flour as he stepped up next to Adrienne. This time it was Adrienne's turn to flinch away as a small pile of flower rose.  She was certain that it could be played off as simply being startled by the sudden slam. Men loved to believe that women were fragile, delicate little things, so there was no reason she should not get away with it. "Levi-" Adrienne began before cutting herself off. She was likely not going to like the answer to her question, so she decided to leave the boy alone for the time being. Once again, Levi took the knife and slit open the top of the bag. This time when he poured it, though, he took hold of the top corner, hoping to be able to control the moderation slightly better. Once he had the appropriate amount, he set the bag on the ground. "Let's see if I can crack these eggs without making a mess, shall we?" Levi laughed as he picked up one of the eggs. He slammed the egg on the edge of the bowl, way too hard, causing the whole egg to crumble and egg yolk and egg white to get all over the countertop. "Oops...again," Levi mumbled, the shell's remnants crushed between his fingers. Adrienne tried only barely to stop herself from full out laughing at him. "You will ruin all the eggs like that,  are eggs not usually cracked carefully?  Because if so you, have done a miserable job." Levi glared up at her. "Yeah, they are," He grumbled. "But I'm not particularly good at the 'gentle' aspect of things. If you need someone roughed up, though, I'm your man." He grabbed the basket of eggs and pushed it towards Adrienne. "You give it a shot, then, if you're so skilled," He mocked, crossing his arms. Adrienne huffed, moving the basket even closer to her before taking an egg out and attempting to crack it, but unlike Levi, her attempt was so gentle the egg did not crack at all.  She huffed and tried again, still nothing, and then she repositioned herself and hit it harder against the counter, causing it to shatter and splatter all over Adrienne's hands and Levi's front.  Adrienne cracked a grin at him as he was now covered with flour, some light sugar, and now two eggs, "Well, I think it is certainly clear that you are closer to becoming a cookie than whatever is inside that bowl." "As long as we don't put me in the oven, I'm fine with that," Levi shot back. "Though it's clear that neither of us is skilled at egg cracking." He picked up another egg to try again, posing his hand over the edge of the bowl. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he tapped the egg against the bowl. A slight crack appeared in the shell of the egg, causing a small smile to blossom on Levi's face. Prying his nails into the crack, like he'd seen Zipporah do many times, he slowly pried the two halves of the eggshell apart, the yolk and white sliding goopily into the bowl with a loud plop. Adrienne cried out with a cheer, causing Levi's smile to spread a bit wider as she moved back across the table to hand him the cookbook. "So, Mr. Baking Extraordinaire, what will you have me doing next?" she teased, wiping her yolk covered hands on the apron tied around her waist before plopping herself onto the chair at the side of the table. "Have I complained about how exhausting this is yet?" she asked, "I hate to sound repetitive." "Actually, you have not. So you're allowed a complaint," Levi teased with a grin as he cautiously cracked one more egg into the bowl. He looked over the bowl to the cookbook being offered to him. "We need some butter and a cup of milk. The butter is still in the churn, easy enough. Just scoop it out and plop it in. Milk is in the cellar. Then it says we need to knead it together." "Ok," she sighed, rising to her feet once again, "I will take the cellar and leave you to your churn." She smirked playfully at him as she made her way to the door, skirts dragging behind her as she took a candle once more and headed out the back door.  The temperature had either dropped significantly, or that kitchen was hotter than it seemed. Adrienne was practically shaking as she collected the milk, thinking to herself, 'It better not be frozen.  That would seriously dampen my mood at the moment.' Success was found when the milk was indeed still a liquid. She toted one small carton up the stairs with some slight struggle. "Mr. Tallmadge, I believe I have-" she cut off as he stared at Levi, frustratingly scraping at the churn, "Are you alright?" "Yeah, there's just some butter stuck to the bottom. This would be so much easier if I had already hit my growth spurt," He grumbled as he tried to scrape the butter from the bottom, plopping the little bits he could with the large pile of butter that was already sitting on the countertop. Adrienne approached the table, placing the jug of milk down on the table. "Do we really need this much butter?" she asked, "It seems a bit excessive to me, but what do I know." "The recipe says a pound of butter. Pick that up. Does it feel like a pound?" Levi replied nonchalantly. Adrienne opened her mouth to speak but promptly closed it, hesitating for a moment before doing as she was told.  She turned to Levi, awkwardly cupping the butter in her hands, "I have no idea.  The only experience I have with weight measuring is marzipan, money, and jewelry." Levi shrugged. "Does it matter? A pound of feathers, a pound of bricks, either way, it's still a pound," He stated logically as he stood up, wiping his hands off on his breeches. "Fair enough," she sighed, "In that case, I think that we have enough." She awkwardly dropped it into the bowl and wiped her hands off on the borrowed apron. "So," Adrienne motioned at the flour-covered table, "What is next?" "Put in the milk, and mix it all together. Easy peasy," Levi said simply as he grabbed the milk jug. Adrienne took a step back as he did so.  Levi cast her a judging glance, and she replied, "Just pointing out that you have not had a great track record tonight, and while you may have very little salvageable dignity at the moment, I still have plenty." Levi paused a moment, deciding whether or not to be insulted. Finally, he shrugged. "Ok, valid point," he nodded. He grasped the jug firmly, gathered himself, and then poured a cup or so of milk into the bowl. As he pulled the jug back, in his haste, the milk sloshed over the edge of the jug and onto his face, soaking his bangs. He blinked his eyes rapidly against the milky onslaught. A glare was sent Adrienne's way by Levi as she laughed at his plight.  The boy was quite a sight now and would undoubtedly need to seriously clean up before his father and Zipporah returned.  Adrienne stepped back again as she spoke, "I stand corrected. There is no dignity left to be recovered, Mr. Tallmadge." "I would glare, but you...might have a point. I never did say I could cook. Which is why I asked for your help. You're a girl. You're supposed to know these things," Levi stated, thinking this was the most apparent train of thought. "If I was supposed to know this, I assure you between my parents, maids, governess, and tutors, I would have been taught to full proficiency." She looked him up and down, trying not to laugh, "If it makes you feel any better, I think you are doing an excellent job for your first time cooking!" "That actually does make me feel better, thank you," Levi said as he pulled out a wooden spoon. Dipping the spoon into the bowl, he started to mix all the ingredients together into a dough. With the bowl wedged against his chest, he used all the muscles he had to turn each separate ingredient, the milk, the eggs, the flour, the sugar, into a single product. Adrienne took this moment to sit down at the table for a moment's rest, watching him tiredly.  Watching as he began to shape the cookies, "How long should they bake?" she asked quietly, not wanting to disturb him. "Only 15 minutes," Levi told her as he pulled out a baking stone and placed small lumps of sugar cookie dough on the stone. He ripped off a small chunk of dough and held it out to Adrienne. "Dough?" She looked up at him, her face unintentionally confused in the way a naive child might be. "What for?" she asked, genuinely curious about his offer.  Her mother had never so much as allowed anything even slightly imperfect on her dining tables, and to be honest, Adrienne could not locate the kitchens in her own house without asking someone for guidance.  Levi looked at her equally confused, so Adrienne explained, "My mother never let me even venture into the kitchens, this might be the first time I have seen cookie dough, so I genuinely do not know why it is being offered." "Damn. And I thought my childhood was depressing," Levi responded, still holding the dough out. "Well, you have no choice now. I am forcing this upon you. Raw cookie dough is the best thing to ever grace human existence." He practically pushed the dough under Adrienne's nose. Adrienne leaned back in the chair to avoid the dough touching her skin, laughing lightly as she accepted the piece from his hands as she replied, "There is plenty more where that came from. My childhood was one of many rules and prying eyes." She cautiously broke off an even smaller piece in her fingers.  Her face lit up, shifting from amusement to delight once she tried it. "I will concede to you this time; cookie dough is absolutely a delicacy in my books now, Mr. Tallmadge." "See, told you," Levi grinned as he popped his own small piece of dough into his mouth before continuing to put small, little lumps of dough on the baking stone. Once there was no dough left, and the stone was filled, he picked it up and walked over to the oven set into the brick next to the fireplace. "Mind opening the door for me," Levi asked, his hands full with the baking stone. "Of course," Adrienne jumped to her feet, walking quickly over to the fireplace that was set into the side of the kitchen. She opened the small door that was the baking oven. Levi slowly slid the baking stone into the oven, closing the door behind it. "Alright, we'll check on it in 15 minutes," Levi told Adrienne as he stepped back from the oven. He went over to one of the chairs and slumped down into it. "Whoo, I'm exhausted now." Adrienne nodded, "I told you that about 30 minutes ago.  This is exhausting." A moment of silence passed before Adrienne spoke up again, "Would you find it horribly impolite if I went to go fetch my book?" "Nah, go right ahead," Levi said as he laid his head down for a second. Just a second, he promised. Adrienne did as she promised, ascending the stairs in search of her book, which he could not help but read on her way down.  Except, reading in motion always made her nauseous, so she figured she could sit down on the bed and read a page.  Or two. Voltaire's philosophy was always so entrancing to the blonde.

"What in Heaven and Earth is going on here?" Levi stumbled out of his chair as the booming voice of his father rang through the kitchen, barely catching himself on the countertop. Righting himself, he spun around to see both his dad and Zipporah standing in the kitchen's doorway. "Dad! You're home early!" Levi looked from his dad and Zipporah to the mess of a kitchen around him. Flour everywhere, sugar everywhere, puddles of milk, eggshells, egg whites, and egg yolks all over the countertops and floor. And Levi didn't look much better. "Umm...I can explain," Levi stated awkwardly, his hands fidgeting and feet shuffling. "I sure hope so, young man," Nathaniel responded sternly, crossing his arms and not taking his eyes off his youngest son. "Umm….I just thought... I'd surprise you and Zipporah with Christmas cookies. They're still baking, though. I wrangled Adrienne into helping me," Levi told his father, refusing to look at him. Instantly, both Nathaniel and Zipporah's faces softened. "Let's see how well you did then, shall we?" Zipporah said with a sweet, gentle smile as she went over to the oven and opened it up, pulling out the baking stone. The cookies were just about done, so she pulled them out and set them on the counter to cool. "These look delicious, Levi," Zipporah picking one up and taking a delicate bite. "Not bad for a first try." "You like them?" Levi looked up at Zipporah hopefully. "I do. You and Lady Fairfax did an excellent job, thank you," Zipporah said, kissing him on the forehead, making a face as she pulled away. "But you really need a bath, young man." Both Nathanial and Levi started laughing at the same time. She wasn't wrong. Levi was a mess. Zipporah ushered the boys upstairs, making sure to leave Levi to be put to bed under his father's care, knowing full well that no matter how filthy he is, he will find a way to smuggle himself to bed without washing up first and soil all his sheets.  She knocked quietly on Adrienne's bedroom door, creaking it open when no response was received to find the candles still burning, but the girl fast asleep atop the pillows, apron wrapped around her waist and a long streak of flour going down the side of her face. Zipporah removed the filthy apron, gently wiping away the flour from the younger girl's face and snuffing out the candles in the room.  She chuckled to herself at the book in the blonde's hands as she marked the page and placed it away.  Finally, before closing the door, she looked back at the girl, shaking her head at the antics of the two young people.  Her hesitation allowed Nathaniel to sneak up behind her as she was winding down. "They are to bed now, my dear," he stood directly behind her, placing his hands tenderly on her waist, "I think it is time we retire as well." Turning their backs on the sleeping children, Adrienne in her room and Levi in his, Zipporah and Nathaniel walked silently, hand in hand, to their bedroom down the hall, the door snapping shut behind them. The only noise left in the silent home was the breathing of the children and creaking of the old house.

#i loved writing this #it was actually so much fun #i love nathaniel andzipporah #also mom zipporah is peak #poor adrienne and levi #really going through it #BoB #lbl #levi tallmadge #adrienne Fairfax #lady adrienne fairfax #zipporah strong #nathaniel tallmadge #12 days of turn #12 days of turn 2020

[gruviafan-forever]

HIS QUEEN

PART:- I

A/N: Main pairing Gruvia and Nalu. Minor pairing Jerza and Gale.

In a far away land, there was a kingdom of Ice ruled by the Fullbusters for generations, currently being ruled by King Silver Fullbuster and his queen Mika Fullbuster.

Kingdom of Ice were neighbours to the Kingdom of Celestial which was ruled by the Heartfilias for generations, currently ruled by King Jude and his queen Layla Heartfilia.

Another neighbour was the Kingdom of Scarlet Blossom which was ruled by the Belserions for generations, ruled by their widowed Queen Irene Belserion.

These three kingdoms were allies and the rulers shared a great bond amongst themselves, both with respect to their business and political endeavors and personally, all three of them were good friends whom they have known from childhood.

These three kingdoms are forces to be reckoned with as they were prosperous and had an army of strong men and strategists who would predict the outcome of war which was always positive to them.

And that's why, other kingdoms feared this ally and would usually avoid war against them.

It had been 20 years since the current rulers ascended the throne. But now time has come to make way for future rulers to take charge.

"So Lucy, Was uncle finally convinced?" Erza Fernandez, daughter of Queen Irene Belserion who is to married the commander general of her mother's army, Jellal Fernandez with the blessing of her mother, asked the Heartfilia princess.

"Papa is almost convinced that Natsu would make a good husband and future king. I'm really grateful to Gray and Juvia if it weren't for them this wouldn't have been possible."

Lucy smiled genuinely and fondly remembered Juvia's words from two years ago.

"Lucy-san, I will wait till yours and Natsu-San's love issues get sorted out until then let Gray-sama continue being your fiance."

"Yeah! I'm sure both of them would be happy to hear this good news. Come let's go to Kingdom of Ice to share this news to your Natsu and Gray." Erza exclaimed happily.

"What? You are coming with us?" Levy Redfox, Lucy's personal maid and her best friend asked the Belserion princess. 

"Yes!! It's been a while since I saw them especially…" Erza stopped as soon as her mother entered the guest room.

"Good Afternoon, your highness" Levy bowed down in respect. 

"Hello Aunty" Lucy stood up and bowed down.

"Hello mother, is something the matter?" Erza asked.

"Good afternoon girls, did I interrupt your talks. Oh anyways!! Lucy dear, congratulations finally your dad has agreed for your marriage with that pinky boy.

And you know what, just now, I received his call and he informed me of this happy news. So as soon as your return to your kingdom, wedding preparations will commence. Congratulations dear."

Irene hugged Lucy and patted her back.

"I can't believe papa agreed wholeheartedly. When I left our palace two days back, he said he would think about it but he didn't give consent yet but I knew he would eventually. But I never thought this would happen this soon." Lucy said with a smile which she couldn't contain.

"He and Layla wanted to surprise you, that's why they didn't tell you when you left. Okay girls, enjoy your stay and once again, congratulations Lucy dear." Irene added and left the guest room.

The girls squealed in delight and had their group hug.

"Finally, ten years of a struggling love life has come to a happy end. Now, Lucy will become Lucy Dragneel." Levy exclaimed and congratulated her friends.

Lucy, Erza and Gray were childhood friends who did their schooling together in Kingdom of Celestial  in their prestigious academy "Fairy Tail" which was run by a wise old man, Makarov Dreyar who taught them every lesson pertaining to changing life and kingdom. 

He mainly taught them about family and it doesn't require blood to form bonds with someone. And everyone should be treated equally.

Even though, Jude and Irene dismissed that kind of knowledge and thoughts and were ready to stop the schooling.

It was Silver and Mika who convinced their friends and said that the old man was doing a perfect job of raising the future rulers in the correct path which the others reluctantly agreed to at the end.

Fairy Tail academy is the place where everyone students were seen in the same light. That academy is the place where Lucy met Levy McGarden, Gajeel Redfox and Jellal Fernandez and also Natsu for the first time.

Jellal, Levy, Gajeel and Natsu Dragneel, were the orphan residents of Celestial Kingdom. Natsu's personality was something Lucy hadn't ever come across.

He was always hyper, excited, funny and a very friendly person. He quickly gelled up with her group except Gray, as their personality was totally opposite. 

But with the course of time, even they became best of friends. Natsu shared a sisterly bond with Erza which even she felt the same.

But the bond he shared with Lucy was totally different, from best friends they became lovers.

At age of 17, Natsu confessed his feelings which he had bottled up since he first met Lucy and to his surprise, even Lucy felt the same and accepted his love wholeheartedly.

Since then, they have remained together and were ready to face any struggle in their path until they had King Jude and Queen Layla's approval.

But what came as a struggle in their path was a wedding proposal sent to Lucy's dad from Kingdom of Ice from Gray's father which the former agreed and wanted it to happen as soon as their children graduated from the academy.

When Lucy confronted Gray along with Natsu and other friends, all Gray said was he wasn't aware of this arrangement nor was he informed about this prior.

"See Lucy, I'm not heartless to snatch you away from Natsu. I know how much you guys love each other. Natsu, don't you remember how I encouraged you to confess your feelings to Lucy and don't feel that damn inferiority complex. Now you both are accusing me?"

Lucy still remembered how their accusations had hurt Gray which led him to not talk to any of them for a week.

But after a week, when Lucy and Natsu  apologised to him which he accepted and finally revealed a thing which he had been hiding for a long time,

"I'm in love with someone which I can't disclose now. But don't worry Lucy, I will call off this wedding. We still have a year left before we graduate. So be cool and I support you both."

"Lucy…..Lucy…." Levy was shaking her best friend. That's when Lucy regained her composure and smiled sheepishly at them.

"Don't go drifting away in your dreams. Now you have a huge responsibility of apologising to Gray's parents officially. I'm sure uncle must have informed them already about the wedding getting called off. But I think you should personally go and meet them. What do you say?" Erza asked as she poured the tea into her cup.

"Even I feel the same. Tomorrow morning let's leave to the Kingdom of Ice." Lucy added.

MEANWHILE 

"So these six years of engagement comes to an unsatisfactory ditch, huh!! That's what you are trying to say Jude." Silver sounded harshly.

"Honey, please cool down. Don't sound this harsh to our friend." Mika tried to console her husband.

"Okay! Fine, now at least you tried to inform me that's cool. Don't worry, I'm not angry at Lucy-chan for not marrying my son.

I see her as my daughter and at the end of the day, it's her decision as she's the one who's going to lead that life.   

    Fine!! Don't worry we will surely come for the ceremony and if you know any alliance for my son, do inform me. He's soon going to 24 and still unmarried by this age, I already had him. Okay bye." Silver kept the lacrima away and sighed.

"Honey!! I don't think we need to search for another alliance. I feel Gray is already seeing someone but I don't know who it is." Mika said as she sat next to her husband.

"Who could be that? I should have listened to him when he said at first that he was not interested in marrying Lucy-chan. 

     But I believed that he was okay with it as he agreed to marry her afterwards.

But should have known that wasn't the thing when he made trivial excuses to postpone the wedding.

Now look, he's the one now who is in the losing end. Whoever that girl is, I'm ready to get him married off if he wholeheartedly loves her." Silver said as he hugged his wife to make himself feel at ease.

"What if she's an ordinary person, someone without any background as such?" Mika questioned him.

"I don't believe in this high status crap. I'm not telling this because of Lucy-chan. The reason I felt she would be a good bride for Gray is because we have known her since her birth.

But Gray nor Lucy-chan felt that for one another. Now that's why, she chose Natsu who makes her happy and smiles in the way she wants. 

    If even our Gray has someone like that I will also choose the same path which Jude and Layla has chosen for their daughter. Dear, go speak to him and know the answer. And before that send those letters to the mail guard." Silver pointed at the table.

After breaking from the hug, Mika went near the table and took the letters. She checked them and took one out of it.

"We wrote letters to her every month for the past one and half years but she didn't even bother to write us back. Is she alright? Did we make a mistake by sending her to Bosco on her accord?" Mika asked out of concern.

Silver could clearly see worries wash over her face. "I'm sure Juvia-chan's alright. Because my heart says so. Don't worry, I have a hunch that we might meet her soon."

Gray, who was passing by his parent's bedroom, had heard all the things the couple had spoken about.

Once he reached his room where he saw Natsu Dragneel, his main bodyguard laying around eating a packet of chips. Gray groaned and scolded him, "Idiot, what are you doing littering my bed?"

"Ice-princess!! Why are you shouting? Geez, I was just eating chips."

Natsu yelled back and now both had their head smacked against each other and began to brawl by pulling each other's hairs.

Even if Gray was practically Natsu's boss, both were being friendly because they considered each other as their best friend.

It was Gray's idea to appoint Natsu as his main bodyguard after graduation so that Natsu could learn the life of royalty and prepare for his future life.

"Flame-brain, you could have told me that your wedding got fixed." Gray said and gave him another punch.

"Wow!! Wait who told you that? Luce told me yesterday that her dad has almost agreed but not yet still. But now you are saying something different. Is it true?" Natsu asked out of surprise which eyes sparkling and a big goofy smile on his face.

Seeing him Gray smiled and nodded in agreement, "Yes, your soon-to-be father-in -law has agreed. Looks like Lucy will inform you soon now." He smirked.

Natsu looked at Gray and hugged him which startled the former, "Thank you Gray. If it weren't for yours and Juvia's help, it wouldn't have been possible. Thanks man. Me and Luce are really grateful for your help. And sorry because of us you couldn't be with your…."

Before Natsu could finish, he stopped seeing the Queen mother and King. He soon broke the hug and bowed down to greet them..

"Good Afternoon, your highness."

"Mom, Dad... what do you want?" Gray asked as he folded his arms.

"So dear, it was your doing that now Jude has accepted your friend to wed his daughter, huh?" Mika asked as she raised her eyebrow.

"What are you talking about? I don't know anything?" Gray laughed sheepishly and tried to change the topic.

"Oh we heard your friend's speech, my son. What did you do to convince Jude?" Silver asked as he sat down on the couch opposite to the bed with his wife.

Natsu, who was about to leave the room, was stopped by Silver and told him to stay.

"Firstly, I made Natsu as my bodyguard which you agreed after seeing his talents and skill.

Secondly, I taught him some manners regarding the royal life which he's still learning.

Thirdly, I sent him to Lucy's dad for a year when someone sent a threatening letter to uncle Jude stating that Lucy would be kidnapped which was sent by Erza by the way.

Finally, I didn't call off this wedding for these six years since if we called off then Lucy's dad would have brought another alliance for her. 

  So that's why, every now and then, I made excuses to get married without breaking down the engagement while Lucy tried from her side to convince her dad about Natsu and their love for one another which she succeeded at the end."

Gray at last revealed the whole plan to his parents and looked at them expecting a bunch of scolding but was shocked to see his parents smiling and especially his mom tearing up.

Gray soon went near her and hugged her, "Mom, I'm sorry if I made a mistake. I thought I was helping my friends this way. I know I shouldn't have led you guys on this matter. I'm extremely sorry for making you guys disappointed."

Mika patted her son's back, "Dear, you are truly a gentleman. I'm proud that we have raised a son who is helpful and selfless. Don't apologise."

"So Gray, are you seeing someone? If yes, then share it with us. We will get you married to your dream girl." Silver asked for which Gray remained silent.

"And what was that you guys were talking about Juvia's help?" Mika questioned the boys whose faces became pale as the name was uttered by the queen.

#gruvia #nalu #fairy tail gray #gray fullbuster #fairy tail erza #fairy tail jellal #fairy tail lucy #fairy tail juvia #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail levy #fairy tail gajeel #gale #jerza #gray x juvia #natsu x lucy

[ashley-jones]

The Kings Mate

Chapter 16

Reliving A Life That Can’t Be Back

This a memory chapter, going through Luna’s state while living on the street and into the orphanage. After each picture is a different portion of her life.

Small feet hit the soaked and crumbled cement, cries of a girl and screams from men echoed across the walls of london. Rain hitting the ground like pebbles, noises running through her ears. Bruises covering her small body, and the only thing keeping her innocence alive was the white dress that had been ripped tattered. Feet scrambled and finally her small body fell to the floor a small cry leaving her lips. The girl no older than the age of 6 was gripping tightly onto a black bag, smell of fresh bread filling her small nose.

A group of homeless men surrounded her small collapsed body, smirking and laughing as they yanked the bag from her hand. The one thing that kept the small girl alive and somewhat healthy, was yanked from her hands. She tried to stand and yank it back but she was only thrown back against the wall; her head colliding with the wall causing her body to once more collapse.

“Oi! Leave the kid alone.” A deep voice came out. It echoed through the alley way. The men turned around coming to face a shorter male with her black hair and silver blue eyes. His face was stoic, filled with no emotions, and a knife could be seen within his belt. It was obvious he was homeless, but yet he seemed to take care of himself quite well. “Hah! Whatcha gonna do about it huh?!” one of the men rang out. He burst into laughter before gasping as a fist collided with the back of his head. He fell eyes filled with surprise, and quickly looked back at the shorter male seeing him standing in front of the child, protecting her.

“I said leave her alone.” The male growled. He grabbed the bag setting it on the unconscious females lap and pulled out his knife. He spun it in his grasp and was quick with his work putting each of the men in their places; and watched them run in fear never to bother the girl again. “Tch..Disgusting..” he growled, looking at the blood on his white sleeves. He then looked back at the girl, and slowly picked her extremely light figure up and walked elsewhere.

The girl shifted and and noticed she was laying on a coat of sort. Her small figure shifted and slowly pushed herself up, noticing she was in a home; most likely adandoned. She took notice of her bad sitting right beside her. Hadn’t it been taken? She touched her head wincing slightly not exactly remembering what happened to it.. “your finally awake.” A deep voice stated. The voice made her flinch and she looked over quickly finally noticing the male standing against the wall and looking outside. “Your lucky I was passing by that alley. If not you’d been raped and murdered.” he stated. His voice was stotic, with no emotions, but for some reason she felt drawn to it. He looked about 20 or so, but yet still young. He was shorter and quite strained in his outfit; making him look a bit unfitting for someone who was homeless. She slowly stood up before gasping and falling back down, her feet hurt.. She looked down noticing her feet were bandaged, along with her hands and wrists. “T-thank you..” she whispered.

He just hummed and turned to her, making his way over and kneeling to check her bandages. “How long have you been out there huh?” he questioned. “4 years...” she whispered. She remembered the day her parents dumped her on the streets, she wasn’t even old enough to form a whole sentence yet.. “I was 2 years old..An older woman helped me for about 2 years; and then she died..Then I was alone..” she explained. Her voice was small and weak, showing off her fearful state. He hummed listening to the small girl explain herself. “You saved me...But yet i don’t know your name..” she whispered. “Levi.” He mumbled. “L-Levi...” she repeated. It put a smile on her face when she said it.

“Oi! What’re you doing?” the male called out. A small girl stood on the steps of the abandoed home, standing slightly taller, and her hair was longer. She smiled turning around looking at the male. “Enjoying the sun! We don’t get it very often here..Constant rain..” she mumbled. She jumped down off the steps and walked back inside smiling, and sitting down against the sheets; watching the male handle his holsters. He said they helped keep his clothes more cleaner, but she believed that just made him look more taller.. As the male was only 5’2, most likely due to malnutrition, as she was the same way. She had once more ran away from the orphanage that had taken her and joined the male. He would constantly scold her for doing so, but yet still argued severely with the men that would try and take her. He felt more matured on taking care of the girl, able to train her.

“Levi..Someomes close by..” she whispered. He looked towards her and then stood up straight after zipping up his boots, he pointed towards the girl mentioning for her to stay put. In which she nodded and pushed herself back until she was against the wall, watching as the older male walked out of the house placing his blade in his belt. She jumped at the sound of a yell and then flinched when she noticed who the yell came from. The orphanage owner...He had come to retrieve her once more.. She quickly hid in one of the many places Levi had created. She didn’t want to go back to those awful, and abusive place. Filled with kids that were greedy and helpless. They hurt her because she was small, did everything they could just to break her..Hell every time she ran r get back to Leavi she was filtered with bruises and brand new wounds covering her body. Which fueled his anger so much more every time he saw the owner.

“I’ll kill you.” the black haired male growled. He was held back by another man while staring daggers at the older grey haired man who gripped the girl tightly by her arm. “She has a family that’s interested in her. Meaning we will no longer have to deal with the useless running, and no longer have to deal with her running to a theif.” The male stated. The idea pissed the boy off even more. He wanted the girl by his side, with his protection and skills. Not by some useless family that won’t be able to do anything for her; other than just throw her away like her past one did. “I don’t wanna go!!” The girl cried. She struggled against the man crying out the boys name but to no release she was taken away.

The teen stood there with her arms crossed, she refused to touch the bow that sat in front of her. The old male talking over and over about nonsense that she could care less about. She was taken from London and moved into Japan with a family of Higurashi. Taken from the man that protected and trained her. Taken from the person she didn’t wish to leave. And now the old man was trying to teach of old ways of fighting; when she preferred using her fists and a blade.

Her eyes moved towards two swords, the Higurashi’s daughter was playing around with them. She was a year younger than her. She just turned away and began walking away, no longer interested. “She’s getting used to it grandpa..” the girls stated. ‘I wanna go back home..’ she thought. ‘I’m not meant to be here..’ she stated within her mind.

Red strands fell over brown eyes as she stared at the ice that had formed at her hands. The silver haired male screaming in her head letting her know that there was nothing wrong with her, while others thought different. “It’s not normal..” she whispered. The growl filling her ears after she had said that. The mans voice going silent finally leaving her in piece.

She had learned to cut out memories, lock them away to never think of them again. Because god knows if she’d ever be able to get back into London. She couldn’t afford it, and she damn knew this family couldn’t. “Finally shut up..That’s surprising.” she mumbled. She walked out of the bathroom and gathered herself in her room like she always has.

“Hah Lord Sesshomaru!” the teen called out. She smiled brightly quickly catching up with male. He looked over and down towards the girl. “You got here later than you had said.” He stated. His voice was stern, just like another’s. That’s why she was so attracted to the demon, he reminded her of the one that trained her. “Yes..Kagome was being a bit of a nag and I couldn’t get here as quick..” she explained softly. He just hummed keeping his eyes forward, allowing the imp and ice wielder to argue amongst each other.

“If I were to continue traveling with you Sesshomaru, what role would I play in the West?” she asked softly. “Foolish girl!! Your only human which means you won’t live long enough to see the west!” Jaken yelled. The girl just ignored him and looked up Sesshomaru, following beside him. “Depends on how long you decide to stay by my side.” he stated. His voice monotone, but also held something deeper. She smiled and nodded placing her arms behind her back. “I will follow you til the end of my days milord!” she stated. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, in only mere seconds and it was gone. “Good. Keep to your word.” he stated.

Fingers trailing through her hair, droplets of water dripping onto the pearled sink. Strands no longer white but now dyed back to the reddish brown, allowing her confidence to regain. Brown eyes staring into brown, her own reflection staring at her as if she was a stranger. She just shook her head and walked out of the bathroom drying her hair with her towel. ‘Go to the well.’ Spoke InuTaisho.

She lowered her towel and sighed putting on a pair of black ripped skinny jeans, black hoodie, and a pair of combat boots. She grabbed her phone and walked out of her room making her way downstairs, and out of the house; making her way to the well. “Why do I need to come here..? I thought you didn’t want me to have anything to do with it..” she mumbled. She stepped inside the shrine and slid the door shut crossing her arms and looking at the well. “What am I supposed to do?” She asked. ‘Go.’ he stated. A bright blue lightly surrounded her and yanked her body inside the well and dragged her inside, a scream leaving her lips.

#inuyasha #attack on titan #inuyasha fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #half demon princess yashahime #hanyou no yashahime #levi ackerman #sesshomaru #sesshomaru x oc #levi ackerman x oc #rin and jaken #inu no taisho #inukimi #pheonix #blodreina #royalty #red queen #ice queen #crossover #izayoi #underground

[aj-writes-here]

So, I finally finish the first chapter of Ineffable, I still don’t know if I’ll upload the entire series here because there is low activity on Tumbr nowadays:( So I might post in Archive of Our Own, but, by now and to see if this series seems interesting to you, this is the first chapter! Levi and the rest will be introduced in chapter two, just letting you guys know that👀👀

Innefable [Chapter 1]

''Are you sure about this?''

''Yes, Giyu. I... I need to solve this, and to do so I can't stays here'' 

''Even though that means you'll become a deserter?''

''I already spoke with Kagaya, and he agrees. Everything is settled. Besides, it's not as if I'm gonna be missed, I know how hard is being a Hashira, all of you are going to have your heads busy with other things '' She said, smiling amusingly and in a comforting way.

''Just take care of yourself, and don't be reckless.'' Giyu looked at her with an unbothered expression.

''And you try to smile more, at least once in a while'' y/n kept the smile on her lips, watching at the friend who was like her older brother. ''Oh, and tell Rengoku I'll miss him, I think he already took the train, right?''

''Yes, he was supposed to meet with Tanjiro, or so I heard.''

''Those kids have potential, I got to spent time with them when I was recovering at Shinobu's.'' 

''And you almost died protecting him, and I had to intervene.''

''Saving the day as usual, but just for the record, I almost finished that spider kid''

''Just remind to take care of yourself, y/n.''

She hugged the tranquil man, surprised Giyu held her back, in the end, it was going to be a long trip. But why? All of her memories start when she woke up in the middle of a mountain, snow starting to cover her body bit by bit. Giyu found her there, alone. He had managed to get her back to Urokodaki's home, and from that day on she had trained by his side, becoming, with time, one of the Hashira. But that was it. That was the life she knew, those were her memories, those were the people who were important for her. What about her home, her real home? Parents, bloodline... Was someone missing her? Someone who was hoping for her to return home? No idea, and that's why she had to discover her truth. She didn't even have the facial traits from the people from that zone. 

Her nightmares were weird, confusing, and at times she knew things she didn't suppose to, things she didn't know how to explain. Maybe someone out there could help her understand everything, maybe someone could fix that mess inside her head.

After saying goodbye to Tomioka, she started walking to her destiny, a ship. But the truth was, that there was no main destination, y/n's plan was to leave the ship at the first port, and if there were no answers in that foreign place, then she would move to the second port. It was going to be a long trip, probably years but she was determined to make it.

She didn't notice once she was on the ship, looking at how the harbor was getting smaller and smaller, the fresh air was hitting her face, finally she was going to be able to move forward, to see if there were traces of truth. The blue water make her smile, and she could swear she saw so some fishes under the water, a whole new world. 

Life, therefore... Is a mystery, are we the captains of our fate? Do we get to decide, or some things are meant to be? Sometimes we need to be hurt, we need to suffer in order to arrive at our harbor, to arrive at a place we can call home. To meet peace, sometimes there has to be mayhem.

And it happened.

It was only the second night on the ship, nearly nine pm where the sky turned grey with clouds and the wind was stronger than the previous days, she could feel it. y/n was at the deck, trying to get a glimpse of the stars but it was impossible to see them, and something deep inside her told her things were about to take a turn. A huge turn.

Suddenly, a few men started running, securing the sails, and more. Apparently, they were to busy to notice the woman wearing the haori, so she just stood there looking at the confusing scene. A voice dragged her out of her thoughts, an old and relaxed voice. When she looked, it was a blind man, he was staring at the horizon. Was he imaging it? she thought, but then again the man spoke. 

''You're about to reach your harbor, miss'' He smiled showing he had some teeth missing. 

''Uhm, yes... I get down at the next port''

''Not precise. These are my last words, I suppose.'' The man took a deep breath. ''But you'll find your truth at the oddest place of off all, when you forget your nightmares and sleep at peace for the first time in years,  that's when you will notice.'' The man smiled, standing over the edge of the ship.

''Sir, get down!'' It was impossible to focus on his words when he was almost to commit a deadly act. ''Let me help you!'' She offered him a hand, hoping one of the men who were running notice and help them both. But no one did. 

''Can't you see it? My time is done here. But your life? It is just beginning, young girl. Take care of yourself, and take good care of that poor bastard, he will need you. He needs you, and he has absolutely no idea'' An hysterical laugh left his lips as if he had heard the funniest of jokes in ages.

''Who? Do you know Giyu? Maybe Rengoku? Are you saying that I... should go back?'' y/n asked him, maybe if I ask him more he will... Get down, she thought. 

That was it, no more words, no more weird sentences. All of her strength was not enough to stop him... Before she could grab him by his ankle, the old man had jumped to the endless ocean, losing among the waves. 

y/n was shocked, there was nothing she could do now. She asked for help, but no one answered. However, the men that were running appeared again, were they there? Did they just come back? If she told them an old man had just killed himself, first they would look at her with weird eyes because of her outfit, and second, they would say there's nothing left to do. 

She kept looking at the ocean under the ship, trying to catch a glimpse of the now missing man. A thunder got her out of her desperate search, then another, and then the water that started running down her entire body. The wind was blowing stronger than ever, and it was almost impossible to see due to the amount of rain that was falling. For the sailors was almost impossible to keep control of the ship, they were in the middle of a storm, and there was no way out. 

To make it worse? A rock broke part of the ship, making it now more unstable, the keel was broken and water was entering and devastating everything in its way. Screams, some were desperate, some others were praying their Gods, while others were trying to give solutions to fix the ship, but none of that seemed to work. y/n held tight, trying not to fall and lost control of her body, but destiny had something else prepared for her. A big wood box slipped on her way, crashing her body against the part of the ship she was holding on to. She recognized the pain, her ribs. Damn it. 

A big wave hit the ship, and plus the pain she was feeling it was harder and harder to not let go. It was impossible to determine if it was the rain or the sea that had gotten her clothes wet, and that was all that was on the ship. Water, pain, fear, and doubt. What was going to happen now? Maybe it was a water demon, maybe she could fight it and make it out alive, but it wasn't. It was nature on its maximum expression.

Or maybe, it was just her destiny. 

The ship was hit again, and this time y/n couldn't bear it anymore, and her body was thrown to the dark and uncontrollable ocean. Her katana was trapped in her fist, no way she was letting that go. 

Swimming with one arm, trying to control her breath she was able to reach the surface, but another wave took her down, and this time swimming was harder. When she reached for the surface again, the ship was far away from her, and y/n could see other people struggling in the water, and she felt useless. And she saw it. With all of the strength she had left, she swam towards a little girl. Grabbing her as she could, she made the girl hold tight to a floating box, with a little luck there were going to find her. However, there was not enough space of both, and before y/n could make sure the girl was going to be rescued she was pulled down again by the same power of water, her limbs getting tired and tired. 

As she was trying to reach for the surface, something happened in less than five seconds, she saw a piece of the ship, hard to circumscribe what it was, but it hit her head. Her body stopped moving, and her lungs? They seemed to forget all of the breathing techniques she learned over the years. 

“Is this it? This is how I’m going to die? I wasn’t even capable of seeking answers, I couldn’t even begin. I didn't even get to the first harbor. What was the point of surviving all this time? What the hell meant my strength and willpower if I can’t move my body? This water feels like mud, heavy mud. And my breathing skills are not working, apparently. It’s funny, I keep going under, far away from the surface. This is like being inside my head. The bubbles go up, showing me a way that I can’t comprehend… Fuck it. My body no longer feels heavy, it’s light like a feather, not even my katana weights. That’s all I know, how to slay demons. That’s all I have ever been, and now? I will become part of the confines of the ocean. Damn the irony, water breathing does not work well underwater… Or maybe I just can’t move because a piece of wood hit my head. Or because my ribs are broken. What about the old man? Did he die? Agh, he sounded so sure about everything... Too bad for him, I think I won't get anywhere now... I told Giyuu I was going to be back once I find the answers about my past, but he will have to forgive me, because I’m not going to be back. And with me, all of my questions together with my body will turn to dust.”

And then, the dark blue became pure darkness.

________________

Dry throat, her body felt wet but it was because of her haori, but her legs and feet were covered by water when this one went up and down. All of her strength was focused on her sword, the only thing that y/n didn’t let go while she was drowning in the middle of the sea.

A cough.

Then two.

Salty water came out of her mouth, slowly she opened her eyes just to see golden, was it sand? Indeed it was. y/n stood up, her eyes clenching in pain as she was trying to get back on her feet using her katana as support. Her leg was burning, of course, the saltiness of the sea had gotten into her wound. Then she remembered, there was a storm and the ship couldn’t make it, the last thing on her head? She drowning. Where the hell am I, she thought. There was not a single soul where she was standing, but that was not what caught her attention. Her eyes were focused on the enormous concrete wall in front of her.

y/n had made it to the top of it, why was she feeling so weak? She was one of the Hashira, she was supposed to be strong, but the confusion and dehydration were stronger. That, and the broken rib. Or ribs. She stood on top of the wall, her eyes widening at something she had never seen before. Giant… People? They had some kind of humanoid form, but they didn’t seem smart.

“Great… Guess I’ll be David and they will be Goliath”

A strong headache, those damned images again. This time was something like a square with a black border, in the center? Letters, words, information. Under the square, there was another. Individual letters, numbers, and other symbols. Here’s your coffee, that male voice caused echo on her head once more, and when y/n eyes were open, looking at the strange landscape in front of her, she spoke for herself in confusion. 

“Who the hell are David and Goliath?”

It was not the first time she said things she didn’t comprehend, why did she know all of that stuff? No idea, that’s why she had to find people, answers. All that she wanted were answers, and if she had to go through those immense monsters… Then so be it.

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman imagines #attack on titan #attack on titan imagine #kimetsu no yaiba #levi x reader

[ultimaa]

OFFSIDE

Two shot

PART I

Summary: "You’re young, attractive and rich, but Martinique stands between you and the love of your life. Damn, I'm happy I'm not you."

Eren had two sacred rules during his holidays: no football, no social media and no England. These purposes involved moving a thousand kilometers from his apartment in Liverpool to enjoy a peaceful summer in his native Shigansina, a small town in southern Germany where everyone knew each other. There he was simply Dr. Grisha's boy. "Really? Come on, man, go to French Polynesia or Dubai," his partner Connie Springer said. "Shigan-what? Okay, don't mind me. I’m sure parties are great in your town..." Honestly, Eren spent his days off sleeping and playing video games. Sometimes he jogged — after all, he earned his salary thanks to his body — and drunk HB beer, but what he liked most was the feeling of making up for lost time. He loved football and played in one of the best clubs in the world, history would seat him at the same table as Ian Rush, Michael Owen or Steven Gerrard. He loved Anfield, but he was too young when he said goodbye to the field of earth soccer and was taken to Melwood, where his parents visited him once a month. At the age of twenty-six, with a brilliant career, Eren Jaeger returned to Germany like an elephant going to die in a cave, with his family, and then repeated the cycle of nostalgia. However, that year would be different.

The Jaeger couple celebrated their 25th anniversary and they organized a small party with relatives and close friends. Only Eren Kruger, best man, who was in a submarine five thousand meters deep, was absent. As for the others, they all attended: Zeke and Pieck, who had come from Berlin, Aunt Faye, Keith Shadis (Eren’s Godfather), Tom Xaver (Zeke’s Godfather), Hannes, Armin and his grandfather, Kuchel Ackerman (bridesmaid), Kenny Ackerman (usher) and Levi Ackerman. Grisha did not like parties, but Carla settled the discussion with a resounding statement: "Silver anniversary aren’t celebrated every day, darling."

While Hannes, old Arlet, Pieck and Kuchel made a beef stew and the couple danced to the sound of Wiener Blut in the sitting room, Eren opened a bottle of beer and toasted with Armin and Zeke.

"You’re the only one, brother," Zeke pointed out. "You’ll retire bachelor. With ten Golden Balls, but a bachelor."

"The golden bachelor," Eren corrected. "Hey, Armin, you're single too."

"Annie and I are taking some time." His best friend shrugged.

Zeke laughed. He was a cardiologist. "I understand the heart much better than you... in all aspects," he used to say. And it was probably true: he was married to Pieck and the ring did not bother him yet.

"Really? She has been in Australia for two months. Do you know how long Australians last in bed, huh? About seventeen minutes, behind only the Americans, the Canadians and the English. As for the Germans, only eight percent have participated in a trio. If I were you, I'd start to worry."

"Did you just tell me I'm a bad lover?"

"No. Statistics, Armin. Information."

"This dude is like that." Eren took a sip. "He throw the stone and hides the hand."

"I have no interest in offending the virility of the Germans. I'm German, in case you haven't noticed. Siegfried is my grandfather and every Friday I go drinking with Wagner, but not all women know how to appreciate the Central European charm. Also, Melbourne is one of the best cities to live."

"Annie is in Sydney."

"See? That's precisely the problem." Zeke finished his beer and put a hand on Arlet's shoulder. "You know exactly where she is, but does she remember you? When a woman puts fifteen thousand kilometers between her and her partner, she only has one goal: to forget. And while she builds her new beginning, you water her plants."

"I still wonder how you seduced Pieck," Eren said. "Did you take her to dinner with Kaiser Wilhelm and Angela Merkel?"

"Actually, she won me. Well, I fell into the trap. I thought I could escape later. I was wrong and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I ain’t immune to women either."

Zeke showed a wide smile. He was blond and had a magnificent bearing. When the waltz was over, he congratulated Grisha and gave him a beer. Then he hugged Carla and cleared his voice. They all looked at him.

"This woman you see here is suicidal: marrying a Jaeger is dangerous, but marrying a divorced Jaeger with a child is deadly. The first time I saw her I was seven years old and I thought: Will she be like Miss Rottenmeier? No, thanks to God. I had always been Ezekiel, but she started calling me Zeke and that's how my friends, my coworkers and my wife call me. In a way, he baptized me. She ain’t my father's wife or my stepmother. Sorry, Eren; Being an only child is wonderful, but she’s also my mother and I would like us to toast her, the woman who brought us together here today. Cheers! Who’s in charge of the music? Auntie, put Spring’s Voices on. Eren and I are gonna dance."

"Wonderful idea." Armin laughed. "Football? As Martha Graham said, dance is the hidden language of the soul."

"You bastards." Eren took his brother's hand.

"Don't step on my shoes."

Among the music and the wild laughter of Kenny and Hannes, Eren did not realize what was about to happen. No clairvoyant would have guessed it. He looked sideways and saw her appear: black hair, aviator sunglasses, and a cigarette between her lips. White rolled-up shirt, capri pants and strappy sandals. He lost concentration and Zeke roared with laughter. He knew, of course. The last time he saw her was on the eve of her trip to Martinique, where she had spent the past year. The waltz ended and they both bowed. Eren did not want to raise the head. Why had no one warned him?

"Levi told me she came back last night," Zeke whispered.

Eren did not even hear the applause. He quickly returned to Armin, who was chatting with Keith Shadis, a retired military man, about the Ardennes Counteroffensive and the Nuremberg Trials. "I am almost sure," said his friend, a historian, "that Franz von Papen died in '69."

"Mikasa is here," Eren hissed.

"I know," he nodded, "and I'm gonna greet her, she's my lifelong friend and I'm glad to see her. You should do the same. Don't think about what happened."

"Did you know? Armin!"

His friend approached her. Great. Eren slipped out into the garden with a couple of beer cans and sat down on a wooden bench. Pretend you don't care, he thought. It belongs to the past, that's it! Fuck! You have to call it by its name: pain. Before she left, they drank like a fish and ended up going to bed. That was last summer. They had not spoken about it since then. He could already hear wise and eminent Zeke Jaeger’s voice: "So you haven’t had a girlfriend since Christ was crucified, but you shag with your best friend. Da ya need to talk, Eren?" Shit! Maybe he needed to tell someone how much her decision to go to Martinique hurt when he declared her love. She had a degree in Arts, so she was offered to do a study about Paul Gauguin, who spent a time on the island. So Zeke would say: "The Caribbean? I'm sorry, brother, I'm so sorry. You and Armin can cry together."

Eren was in love with her. It is one of those truths that one understands with a broken heart. And this led him to reject the insinuations of several, too many women in recent months. There were rumors that he was gay.

"Look who's here: Reds’ Hunter," Mikasa greeted him. "Can I sit?"

"You can do whatever you want." Eren was not angry, but a little drunk. He scratched his right arm; Delacroix's Liberty was tattooed from shoulder to elbow; Lower down, on the forearm, Goya’s Colossus collapses the Berlin Wall. On the inside of the doll, an M. Again, he could hear his brother's voice calling him an idiot.

Mikasa sat next to him. Her skin was not as pale as before: Caribbean tan. The serious mouth was the same and the gray eyes had not changed. She had a fine scar on her right cheek.

"Congratulations on winning the Premier."

"Yeah, well, first in Liverpool's history." Eren groaned. "How did it go with Gauguin?"

"Excellently. Van Gogh said that Gauguin didn’t paint with the brush, but with the phallus. However, mayby he didn’t die of syphilis..."

"Are you kidding me? Do you congratulate me on the championship and talk about Gauguin's cock?" He let out a sardonic laugh. "If that's all you have to tell me after all this time..."

"This is neither the time nor the place".

"I don’t care. We fucked, Mikasa."

"I know. I was there."

"Really? Because sometimes I think about it and it seems a mirage. You've been avoiging the matter a whole year, a fucking year. You show up at my parents' party like nothing's wrong and talking about fucking Gauguin." Eren paused. "Annie is in Australia. Do you know how long Australians last in bed? Seventeen minutes. How long do Martinicans last?"

"I know what you're implying," Mikasa said seriously, "and you're wrong, Eren. You’re very wrong. Do you think I would be able to do that after sleeping with you?"

Carla Jaeger interrupted them; the meal was ready. They were not hungry, but an inexplicable feeling oppressed them: Eren's blood boiled; Mikasa's was frozen.

"When you want us to talk as adults, let me know," she said.

Adults! Eren said nothing. He sat between Zeke and Armin, who gave him a questioning look. Eren sighed and started eating. He remained oblivious to all the conversations, sharing looks with Mikasa, sitting next to her uncle Kenny. One year had passed and perhaps he was angry, but he winked al her. She smiled and caught the kiss Eren discreetly sent her, and showed her thumb.

"Okay," Zeke said, after wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Have I ever told you about friendship between men and women? No, because it’s impossible. Were you and Annie ever friends, Armin?"

"Huh… Yeah?"

"No. You wanted to have sex, but you didn't tell her."

"I know you know," Eren whispered.

"I’ve known for a long time. In fact, I knew it before you did, bro. You were like Heidi and Peter, and now, if you were alone, this would become ​Nine and a half Weeks.

For Zeke it was too obvious, but what about the others? Eren looked at them closely. They talked about politics, football, past... Levi was the only one who remained silent. He was not a very talkative man, unlike his mother and uncle. Kuchel and Kenny talked and laughed like no one else. As for Mikasa, whose premature orphanhood led her to grow up with them, her character was soft; silent, good listener and without his cousin’s curtness. Did she tell someone what happened? Maybe Sasha Braus? After the meal, Eren felt adult enough.

The whole evening passed pleasant between anecdotes and skat hands. Keith Shadis left around six in the afternoon; He had to return to Munich for work. As for the others, Carla insisted that they stay for dinner. While Grisha and Zeke had a scholarly conversation about the latest advances in medicine, Kenny was laughing loudly with Mikasa by his side.

"I never imagined that we would have an artist in the family."

"I'm an art historian," Mikasa pointed out.

"If God doesn’t give you children, Devil gives you nephews." Kenny lit a cigarette. "Ackermans have always been country people. Levi was the first to go to university; He was already a whiz since childhood. Fortunately, Mikasa followed suit.

"What is Martinique like?" Carla asked.

"Quiet. When it rains, goodbye internet and light, and of course I have to mention mosquitoes, humidity, heat and earthquakes," she paused, "but people are lovely and the landscapes are spectacular. They are exactly like on postcards. Oh, and the accra is very good."

"We could go on vacation, honey." Zeke looked at Pieck. "I'm tired of Sardinia."

"But you have to be careful with snakes," Mikasa continued, smiling. "I was bitten by a eyelash viper. Nothing serious, but I wouldn’t repeat the experience."

"One year has been enough, hasn't it?" Eren, who was playing cards with Armin, had his ears set on the conversation.

"Yes. For now I will stay here I’ll go to Munich in September to work at the Alte Pinakothek."

"It's fantastic," said Armin.

"And you’ll be close," added Kuchel.

So Munich. However, Mikasa commented on the possibility of another trip. She specialized in Impressionism and did not rule out settling in France. After dinner, when it was time to say goodbye, Eren pulled out his cell phone and wrote her a message: "Do you wanna talk?" She looked sidelong at him and replied, "Come home tomorrow. We will be alone." Jaeger thought about that last one; He smiled, pleased, and quickly typed, "Good."

They all left except for Zeke and Pieck, who would spend a few days in the village before returning to Berlin. It was like going back fifteen years ago, when they still crowd around under one ceiling. Carla loved having them all there. Her good character led her to have an excellent relationship with her daughter-in-law. Grisha was pleased with the situation; He played chess with Zeke for hours, in total silence. Eren used to watch them, attentive to the gestures, wondering how they could drag on a duel that long. And it all ended with one word: "Checkmate."

Zeke followed him into the garden with a cigarette on the lips. He had tried to stop smoking, but there are things a man can never give up, like mentholated Camel.

"You don't smoke, do you? What a pity. One or two cigarettes once in a while doesn't hurt anyone, Mr. Perfect Abs." Zeke blew out the smoke. "Munich. A wonderful city, especially in October."

"We’re gonna talk tomorrow."

"One day I take a look at the yellow press and I see you with Historia Reiss, and I think you're a lucky bastard. You’re young, attractive and rich, but Martinique stands between you and the love of your life. Damn, I’m happy I’m not you."

"I love you too." Eren frowned.

"I’m trying to help you. Don't screw it up, okay? A bad step now and you will regret it all your life." His brother clapped him on the back. "Now If you can excuse me, I'm going to make love to my wife in my fifteen-year-old room."

"I didn't need to know that."

…

Having the house to herself, Mikasa went down to have black tea. Frugal breakfast, as always. She felt like an intruder in her own town and jet lag was not benevolent. She wanted to stay in bed, she’s just got ants in her pants. She did push-ups and thought about the last exhausting year. Operation Gauguin, as she called it, had been a true odyssey. Fuck the Caribbean. She had missed Europe, her family and friends, but duty is duty. As for Eren, she could not reproach him for anything. He was angry. She should not have slept with him before she left; Mikasa kept thinking about it for a moment. Secrets and sex are a bad combination for consciousness. Besides, she left without saying goodbye. She behaved like a real motherfucker and would do it again: sentimentality is not advisable before a possible trip with no return. No, she couldn't listen to Eren's feelings before getting on the plane. Deep down, she suffered from the greatest weakness: love.

She lay down on the floor and closed his eyes. God, the cold slabs were nicer than any bed in the Caribbean. The woman forgot the physical and mental exhaustion when Eren touched the knocker. She took a breath and decided to improvise. The first thing Mikasa noticed was Dior's perfume. He was wearing an unbuttoned black polo shirt, gray jeans, and deck shoes. The three-day beard and dapper cut fit him very well. Those tropical eyes ... Shit!

Silence. Glances. It was inevitable. Eren closed the door behind him and received her kiss in a frenzy. Mikasa bit his lips, tugged at his hair. The man held her prisoner in his arms, sliding his hands down her back, her hips and her neck, anxious and needy. Their mouths were lost in each other's. Eren threw his head back and went deeper, searching for lost time. He licked her lips from corner to corner. The touch of tongues was deadly like a sword dance. They parted, face to face, panting, obscene. Mikasa wanted to make love to him in the middle of the hall and tell him how much she had missed him.

"Did you want to talk?" Eren planted another kiss.

"Yes," Mikasa replied. "I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I have a very interesting story to tell you, but I don't know if it will be more exciting than winning the English league."

"Ok, you know I prefer Monet, but..."

"It has nothing to do with Gauguin." Mikasa took his hand and led him into the living room. If she thought about it, it was a concise thing, but difficult to assimilate. Eren sat down on the sofa. She made him coffee and moved to his side, maturing the words in her head. "It's complicated. If you don't believe it, I get it. I’ve spent more time in Cuba than in Martinique. I haven’t done any study about Gauguin."

"What?" Eren looked at her seriously. "What's going on, Mikasa?"

"I've been working for Interpol for a couple of years. No one knows, only you. Crimes against cultural heritage."

"I don’t get it. What does that have to do with Martinique and Cuba?"

"During Nazism many degenerate works were plundered. Gauguin, Chagall, Klee... Some works were located last year. There was a certain black market for art among many American magnates. That is why I went to Cuba together with a team, to find out the whereabouts of some Gauguin works lost since 38."

"It’s definitely more interesting than winning the Premier." Eren drank from his mug thoughtfully, still amazed. "Was it dangerous?"

"Not much. At least not for me. My job is to see, evaluate and give a verdict, not shooting. Do you think I'm out there drinking Martini and driving an Aston Martin?"

"The idea excites me." The man touched the scar on her face. "And this? I don't remember it. It’s not on the maps that I have of your whole body."

"Then you will have to add it." Mikasa took the cup from him, put it on the table and leaned against him, kissing him calmly and sweetly. For a moment she thought she would never see him again, or maybe he would see her repatriated corpse with a bullet in the head. God! She hugged him and rested her head on his heart. Eren stroked her hair and she trembled at the memory. "It was a shot. I don't know how I'm still alive. I was so lucky..."

"My God," Eren whispered. "Why did you not tell me? Don’t trust me?"

"I know you. Worry wouldn't let you focus."

"Of course not. And now that I know why you left, it will take me a few weeks to recover from my fright. Damn, it hurt so much when you answered my messages as if nothing... I wanted to tell you about my feelings, but you always talked about trivial issues and I thought you didn't care what happened between us. Why?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to think about you or our plans. What would have happened to all those words if I had died? Look at this scar. It’s a miracle I’m still alive. It happened a few days after arriving. It shouldn't have happened, but it did. A rich man held a clandestine exhibition, I infiltrated and they discovered me. I didn't want to tell you that I love you and then die. I don't do things that way."

"And how do you do it?"

"Like this." Mikasa kissed him again.

#eremika #Eren Jaeger #Mikasa Ackerman #eren x mikasa #zeke jaeger #snk #shingeki no kyojin #AoT #attackontitan #fanfic

[theink-theiron]

Melting Iron

Chapter 1 - A Medival Fantasy Gajevy AU fanfiction

Read Here on AO3 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine Levy; you have nothing to worry about” reassured Princess Dragneel, the motivation however, fell on deaf ears as the bluenette continued to fret over the thought their new arrivals, her eyes unfocused, her heart racing and her mind working a mile a minute trying to figure her way out of the inevitable.

She had no problem meeting new people, sure she was not the most social person in the kingdom, but she could withstand the average amount socialness required to not seem abnormal or rude. It was however a certain group of individuals, that at the mere thought of them had the young lady’s skin crawling and her fight or flight mode kicking into hyperdrive. Scholars, professors, court advisors any job within a kingdom that required a high level of knowledge or education, it was not the position itself that infuriated her but rather the type of people that held these positions. Being a woman had its fair share of challenges as did being small, as did being young, when mixed these three factors create a brilliant target. She had struggled all her life to be taken seriously despite her clear unchallengeable intellect and because of this she could fill a book with all the times she has been unjustifiably belittled, and she fears something similar is going to happen soon.

The day was bright unfitting to her mood as the two ladies strode down the hallways into the entrance hall in preparation to greet their new guests. King Natsu was already stood tall and proud, with guards and servants posted around the hall. All the necessary preparations were already in order, the food was harvested from their thriving farms, and the most luxurious wines bought from the finest vineyards, all put together by Mirajane the lovely head chef and her dedicated team. The palace was scrubbed to withing an inch of its life, and the marble floors glistened and the light from the stained windows giving the palace a magical glow. Everyone was in place as the princess stood at the head of the entrance next to her husband. Levy took her place near them as she was a vital part of what was about to take place.

The giant doors opened and Prince Redfox ‘The Iron Dragon’ emerged, a hulking form of a man, all eyes were drawn to him, his intimidating presence demanding their attention and the room fell deathly silent. He had the eyes of a warrior who had seen a hundred lifetimes, his black steel armour thick and seemingly impenetrable covering him entirely from the neck down as his heavy footsteps echoed throughout the hall. He was quickly followed by several guards and a few servants all impressive in their crisp and tidy uniforms, but that was to be expected, and finally, three old grey gentlemen walking gracefully in their drab and old-fashioned cloaks, by the gods she already bored to death just looking at them.

She could not look away from the fascinating prince as she was entranced by the display. He showed no clear sign of emotion on his face as he marched along to stand at the foot of the Dragneels. A smile graced the royals faces as the formalities began. “Prince Redfox we are pleased to welcome you to the fire kingdom” The king began “I hope you had a safe journey” It was clear to all that knew him that he was trying his best to be formal though it was not something he was suited for or enjoyed, although she can hardly blame him as she felt the same way.

The talked for a small while exchanging pleasantries that neither were that interested in doing, until it was time to depart. “Miss Lisanna would you be kind enough to escort Prince Redfox to his room” It was getting late and the official work would start in the morning. Just before the prince turned to leave his eyes ghosted over Levy, taking in her petite form and colourful dress as she stood out from the crowd with her blue hair and a long flowy orange dress that seemed to sparkle in the sunlight, it was only brief but their eyes met and it felt as if she was holding his stern gaze for an eternity. And just like that he was gone, everyone dispersing and getting back to work as the prince and his entourage were all heading to their rooms and getting prepared for a grand meal that would be hosted later that evening.

Levy released a breath that she did not know she was holding when the room was almost emptied, and the new arrivals were out of sight. Turning to the princess, they smiled at each other and both visibly relaxed. “Well that went rather well I think, don’t you?” Lucy seemed pleased as she should, the next few weeks are going to be particularly important for both parties and a good first impression could make all the difference. “yeas, it was quite successful, I think he’s pleased” Lucy’s eyes lit up at this and a mischievous smile appeared on her face “Oh yes, I would definitely say he was pleased with what he saw” She teased. The two women had been friends since childhood, so this kind of informality was common when no one new was around, newcomers would probably be surprised or appalled at the way a servant would speak to a queen so they kept up formalities in front of quest as to appear professional.

A blush covered the smalls girls face “What are you talking about Lu? You are crazy”

“Please, I saw that little look you two gave to each other” She was trying to contain a squeal as she inched closer to the girl, Levy crossed her arms and shook her head. “That wasn’t anything he was just looking around the room and we made brief eye contact, hardly anything to gush about” Natsu just playfully shook his head at the two of them already knowing what they were like and gently wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulders and pulling her away muttering something about getting washed up before the banquet, he gave a passing look at Levy and she nodded at him for saving her from her friends incessant interrogation, he really was life saver in more ways than one.

Brushing off those childish remarks, Levy made her way back to library which was basically her second room judging by how much time she spends in there and on more than one occasion accidentally slept there. It was silly teasing and nothing more she assured herself, Lucy did that sort of stuff all the time, even so there was no way a man such as himself, a prince and soon to be king and esteemed warrior would be interested in her and just on look alone no less, she never really considered herself a prize. He wasn’t even her type, most brutish were mean, hard headed and stubborn, who usually wanted nothing more than a simple little wife to sit still and look pretty and birth a healthy heir, and surely prince Redfox was exactly the same, that was not the life for Levy she decided that long ago.

 Later that evening when the moon had risen, a handful servants and butlers arrived and began to serve the food with practiced elegance, everything looked delicious anything you heart or stomach could desire was placed perfectly on the elegantly decorated table, the room was lit with candles creating a wonderfully calming atmosphere, the plates and cutlery adorned with gold, the dining hall was exemplary from ceiling to floor and most certainly fit for a king.

There were few places set at the small table, as this certain dinner was only for the people involved in the plans for the alliance and approaching war, it was meant to make the stay more hospitable and hopefully ease the tension between the royals.

Everyone took their seats Natsu at one end with Lucy by his side, and Prince Redfox at the other with who she expected to be his right-hand man on his right, she heard from Lucy that his his name was Pantherlily. The three ‘ancients’ as she has nicknamed them, sat stiffly together looking as dull as ever, a long blue haired beauty was also there although her role at the moment was unknow, our captain of the guard Erza Scarlet sat opposite me, her eyes were stern as she scanned the room for anything potentially dangerous, she was seriously devoted to her kingdom and her job, she was a lovely woman but she could be truly terrifying when the time called for it, and to her left Jellal Fernandes a brilliantly clever battle tactician and although they never showed any outward affection in public everyone knew they were courting. Levy was a communication expert and all round ‘know it all’ she helped with anything she could usually involving books, scrolls, languages, or even runes and she was damn good at her job despite her young age.

Everyone began tucking into the gigantic feast and the mood lightened as everyone was dazzled by the display of food and put at ease by the abundance of alcohol, light chatter filled the room as people began to become familiar with one another when one of the ancients began to speak up “I am looking forward to this impressive team of scholars that you have spoken so highly of your King Natsu” His words were polite but his tone was dismissive. Thankfully Natsu swallowed the abnormal amount of food in his mouth before he spoke. “You already have” he stated at then motioned towards me with one hand and grabbing more food with the other. The room went silent and all the new arrivals were clearly shocked, it was unusual for a woman to be in such a position so this feeling was hardly new to her, especially the old ones, everyone was looking at her and she began to feel a bit awkward so she did a quick little wave and hoped that would do. “This one woman?” It was not so much of a question as it was an accusation, it was evident that he did not like the fact that I was a woman not many noble men did but he didn’t want to be so open about it and risk damaging a new relationship.

She looked over to the prince to try and get a gage on how he felt about the issue, but she could still tell nothing, his eyes were locked on her but so were everyone else’s. She hoped it would not cause a problem as it had in the past. “Is there a problem with that?” Natsu’s tone was raised slightly. Despite not knowing the king for long he had already grown protective over his wife’s best friend and it was extremely sweet, but she desperately did not want to be the cause of a big scene. “No, no, no your highness, of course, that is not a problem at all” he backed down thankfully, but he shot a nasty glare at Levy before averting his gaze that no one seemed to notice, or so she though, so things slowly began to settle down again.

The prince stayed quite throughout the majority of the meal but their eyes met every so often, she was beginning to worry that he would think that she was weird, so she took to chatting to the fellow bluenette on her left. She was a shy lady, but they seemed to get on quite well and she did not know who this Gray man was but the way she described him made him sound like a god.

Deserts came and went and Erza nearly stabbed the king she swore an oath to protect for trying to take the last of the strawberry cake. All were merry and having a good time just as Cana promised, why we trusted her to choose the alcohol was beyond her as even she was beginning to fell a bit tipsy from the two small drinks she had. As the evening progressed people began to filter out of the room until it was just her and the prince who still seemed unaffected despite the large amount of alcohol he consumed, not that she was watching or anything mind you.

You could taste the awkwardness in the air, as she took another sip of her drink successfully finishing it, and in her mind planning on a quick yet courteous exit. But just as she was about to get up to leave, he grabbed a somehow unopened bottle of whiskey names ‘Los demonios beben’ also known as ‘The Devils Drink’ no wonder it was untouched nobody would dare at an event like this, it was most likely Cana’s work that it was even got here. “Would you care to have a drink with me?” He asked but he was already poring it into his small glass and was moving to grab hers. “I am not sure if I should” She was a little bit of light weight but did not want to admit it. “Why? Can’t you handle it?” There was a small glint in his eyes and a slight smirk on his lips as he challenged her, fine if that’s the game he wanted to play, she would bite. “That’s rich coming from you, a man who’s basically swaying on his chair” It was subtle, but she was observant and just managed to pick up on it.

She was a bit taken back from her own response as her mind stopped working, she had just insulted the fearsome prince! just as her mind started whirling trying to put an apology together he let out an odd little gihi as he placed her drink back in front of her. It was far too strong for her taste but there was no way she would let him know that, after her first small sip she glanced back at him to see he had already finished, his cockiness all over his face, that smug bastard. Now determined she gulped her drink down as fast as she could without spilling and then snatched up the bottle and pored herself another. What had gotten into her? This was not like her, plus this was an especially important mission she could not embarrass herself like this in front of a prince. But it seemed it had the opposite effect as he looked rather impressed. But of course, he had to one up her by taking a large swig straight from the bottle, and as to not fall behind so did she.

Before she knew it, the bottle was empty, and she realised they were entering dangerous territory as his predatory eyes raked over her. “Well I have had a very nice evening, but it is time I turn in for the night” she said standing and giving light bow and hoping it didn’t look like she was stumbling, luckily she didn’t slur her words too much or at least she didn’t think she did. His dazzling smile only wavered for a second before he too stood up and starched out his hand “You’ve been a worthy adversary, but I’m sorry you lost” Ever the diplomat she grasped his hand in a solid handshake and returned his light hearted banter “please I let you win, goodnight Prince Redfox” And with that she left.

On her way to her bedchambers she passed by Mirajane and Lisanna who both smiled at her and nodded she prayed they didn’t realise she and the prince were the last ones out or she would never hear the end of it from any of the girls and that’s really not what she needed right now.

#fairy tail #fairy tail fanfiction #gajevy fanfiction #gajeel #Gajeel Redfox #Levy McGarden #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #pantherlily #gajevy #nalu #Gajeel X Levy #natsu x lucy

[tonystarkbingo]

TSB Week 22!

For badges this week (and last week because Mod Meg forgot!) we have a whole load of Participation badges!

Ashbobo

Lacrimula Falsa

FestiveFerret

DixieHellcat

feignedsobriquet

Ria Rose

celtic7irish

Aoife

Red_Demon

RomancebyFaye

And for Bingo, congratulations to Trashcanakin!

Remember, if you don’t claim your badges using this form, you will not get your badges!

Reminder about our LAST DISCORD PARTY in a couple weeks (June 20th), and that your last fills are due by JUNE 30TH, with your masterposts due on July 4th!

And now, on to the amazing fills from this week!

Title: Trauma Bingo (the Avengers need ALL the therapy) Collaborator: LBibliophile Link: AO3 Square Filled: R3 - Shared Trauma Ship: Bucky Barnes & Avengers Team Rating: Teen Major Tags: Angst and Humor, PTSD Summary: SHIELD remembers that trauma therapy exists, and their sights are set on the Avengers. Aka. How many issues can you fit in one team, and can you also get them all in the same person. Succeeding at trauma bingo is not actually winning… Word Count: 1180

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Title: Twelve Months Collaborator: RiaRose Link: AO3 Square Filled:  Chapter 1: A2 - Love or Lust Chapter 2: A1 - Workshop Troubles Chapter 3: R1 - Flight Chapter 4: T1 - Presumed Dead Chapter 5: S3 - Major Injuries Chapter 6: T5 - Non Penetrative Sex Chapter 7: K5 - Asking for Trouble Chapter 8: S5 - Bedtime Stories Chapter 9: K2 - Dares/Bets Chapter 10: A4 - Domesticity  Chapter 11: T3 - Vibes in Public Chapter 12: K1 - Kink in Anal Sex Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Explicit Sexual Content Summary: Tony! Don’t you get it? I love you. And I know you love me!” Steve jumps to his feet, reaching for Tony as he walks away. “I’m failing to see the damn problem!”“We can’t be together!” Tony snaps, spinning around to face him. “What part of this are you unable to comprehend?! It’s only going to end in me hurting you. I’m only going to break your heart, Steve. Fuck! Don’t you have  any self-preservation?”ORThe story of Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, told in increments, month by month. Word Count: 13893

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Title: “Groot!” - Nice to Meet a New Old Friend Collaborator: Fighting_for_Creativity Link: AO3 Square Filled: A4 - Groot Ship: Groot & Rocket Raccoon Rating: Teen Major Tags: Accidental Time Travel, Kid Tony Stark Summary: Rocket and Groot are stranded. Both on a backwards planet, and in a long ago past. Word Count: 2146

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Title: An Airforce Pilot, A Pararescuer, And A Nuclear Deterrent Share A Bed Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Kink: Anal Sex Ship: Rhodey/Tony/Sam Rating: Explict Major Tags: PWP Summary: Tony had been invited into threesomes before. Hell, he had proposed threesomes before, that wasn't the issue here. Being invited into one by two people that he thought were just friends, not only to him but to each other? Well that came out of left field for him. But here were Rhodey and Sam looking at him all sincerely as they asked him into their bed. Of course he said yes. Word Count: 5085

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Title: Iron Elvis Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R4 - Presumed Dead Ship: Starker Rating: Gen Major Tags: Major Character Death? Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Winter Soldier Sachet Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A4 - Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: Crafts, Winter Soldier Summary: The star detail from Bucky’s metal arm, made out of felt & filled with rice and cinnamon Word Count: N/A

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Title: Galaxy Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K5 - Galaxy Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: None Summary: Moodboard Word Count: N/A

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Title: Knight in Shining Armor Collaborator: G Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T4 - Kidnapped! Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader // IronDad Rating: Teen Major Tags: Mention of capture/kidnapping Summary: Tony Stark’s kid is captured by some of Kingpin’s men, and Peter Parker comes to the rescue Word Count: 1299

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Title: Shit My Dad Says Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 - You Can’t Trademark That Ship: Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark Rating: Teen Major Tags: Post-Endgame, Pepper and Morgan Family Fluff (with a bit of grief because, you know, post-Endgame) Summary: Tony was right, it is about legacy. No one can deny all the good he did, nor can they argue with the sheer number of people who are alive because of him, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t leave Pepper a lot of shit to deal with. Word Count: 743 + comic strip

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Title: Seasoned with a little bit of Pepper Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Pepper Potts/Rescue R4 - Artificial Intelligence Ship: Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: Post-Avengers Shawarma Scene, Steve is Confused, Established Relationship Summary: What do you get when you fly a nuke into space and afterwards go eat shawarma without calling the love of your life?You get a very angry Pepper, that’s what you get. And what do you get when on top of all of that, you don’t inform your team about the potential guest in the tower?Well now you’re just in for a very fun night… Word Count: 2228

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Title: Mr. Stark’s Guide to Accidental Marriage Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T3 - Accidental Marriage Ship: FrostIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Hangover, Blackouts, Accidental Marriage, Loki is a Little Shit Summary: Tony was still not entirely sure what he had done but he decided it was best to ask her directly. “Pepper, I can’t remember a thing from last night, what did I do that was so terrible? Did I sleep with the daughter of a senator in a janitors closet again, because I swear I didn’t mean to!“…Tony didn’t respond for a second before he yelped, “I MARRIED LOKI ODINSON?“or: How Tony Stark accidentally married Loki and everything somehow turns out fine. Word Count: 1970

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Title: The Not So Secret Secret Couple Collaborator: Violettavonviolet Link: AO3 Square Filled: T4 - Secret Relationship Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: 5+1, Secret Relationship, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Summary: They hadn’t meant to keep it a secret, it just kinda happened.And now, when they are finally ready to show the whole world that they are together, nobody notices.orfive times an avenger remained oblivious and the one time they spelled it out for them. Word Count: 1901

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Title: Art for Winter Witcher Collaborator: feignedsobriquet Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S2 - Action/Adventure Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: N/A Summary: fanart for 27dragons and tisfan’s Winter Witcher  Word Count: N/A

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Title: IronJelly Collaborator: eachpeachpearplum Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A3 - Free Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: Crochet, Jellyfish Summary: IronJelly aka Peach’s adventures in crochet Word Count: N/A

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Title: A Birthday Party to Remember Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Tony Stark/Scott Lang Ship: Tony Stark/Scott Lang Rating: Teen Major Tags: None  Summary: When Pepper has to go out of town unexpectedly, it's left to Tony to take Morgan to her friend's birthday party. He almost left early, but Cassie's father, Scott, proves to actually be interesting. Word Count: 890

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Title: A Little Motherly Push Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Riri Williams Ship: Mama Rhodes & Tony & Rhodey Rating: Gen Major Tags: Family Fluff, Adoption Summary: Mama Rhodes is not above a little bit of nagging and above-board manipulation to get what she wants.  Word Count: 1653

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Title: Flashes Before Your Eyes Collaborator: Von_Gelmini Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K2 - Deaged Tony Ship: None Rating: Teen Major Tags: TW Drug Use, Moodboard Summary: I’ve interpreted the de-ageing as memories, when he thinks he’s about to die, of Tony’s youth in the 80s. Good and bad. Word Count: N/A

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Title: Dum-E + Levi Collaborator: PoliZ Link: Tumblr Square Filled: T1 - Science and Magic Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: fancraft, Iron Man, Doctor Strange,  Dum-E,  Levi (aka Cloak of Levitation) Summary: While their human companions  are getting to know one another better, so are Levi and Dum-E.  Word Count: N/A

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Title: Stark Salvage Collaborator: romancebyfaye Link: Tumblr Square Filled: R4 AU:Sci-fi/Futuristic Ship: Stuckony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Sci-fi, Stuckony, moodboard Summary: Stark Salvage Word Count: 226

#tonystarkbingo2020 #tsb2020 #tsb weekly roundup #tsb week 22 roundup #tsb week 22

[freedomartspress]

Three Poems — Tongo Eisen Martin

Kick Drum Only

All street life to a certain extent starts fair

Sometimes with a spiritual memory even

Predawn soul-clap/ your father dying even

Maybe I’ve pushed the city too far

My sensitivities to landfill districting and minstrel whistles/

White supremacist graffiti on westbound rail guards 

-all overcome and reauthored

The garbage is growing voices

Condensed Marxism 

modal gangsterism for a warrior-depressive

Underpass in my pocket

because I am a deity

or decent bid on the Panther name 

revolutionary violence that chose its own protagonists 

or muted stage of genius

A merciful Marxism        

Disquieted home life 

Or metaphor for relaxing next to a person 

Who is relaxing next to a gun

I stare at my father for a few seconds 

Then return to my upbringing

Return to the souls of Ohio Black folks

Revolution is damn near pagan at this point

You know what the clown wants? The respect of the ant. 

Wants a pen cap full of bullets

Wants to see their ancestors in broad daylight

I am not tired of these rooms; just tired of the world that give them a relativity 

My only change of clothes prosecuted

The government has finally learned how to write poems

shoot-outs that briefly align…

that make up a parable

white bodies are paid well, I posit

do white men actually even have leaders?

all white people are white men

white men will only ever be metaphors

all I do is practice, Lord

A rat pictures a river

Can almost taste the racial divide

Can almost roll a family member’s head into a city hall legislative chamber

Knows who in this good book will fly

I have decided not to talk out of anger ever again, Lord

Met my wife at the same time I met new audience members for our pain

We passed each other cigarettes and watched cops win

A city gone uniquely linear

Harlem of the West due a true universe 

 “I will always remember you in fancy clothes,” my wife said 

so here I sit… twisting in silk ideation

  My rifle made of tar

My targets made of an honest language

This San Francisco poetry is how God knows that it is me whining 

Writing among the lesser-respected wolves

Lesser-observed militarization

Dixie-less prison bookkeeping/I mean the California gray-coats are coming 

lynch mob gossip and bourgeois debt collection

I mean, it’s tempting to change professions mid-poem

in a Chicago briefing, a white sergeant saying, “blank slate for all of us after this Black organizer is dead.”

standard academics toasting two-buck wine at the tank parade

bay of nothing, Lord

  nuclear cobblestones, gunline athleticism  

and the last of the inherited asthma

children given white dolls to play with and fear

facial expressions borrowed from rich people’s shoe strings

I can hear hate

And teach hate

And call tools by people names

And name people dead to themselves

no one getting naturalized except federal agents soon 

carving the equator into throats soon

I’m sorry to make you relive all of this, Lord

pre-dawn monarchy 

friends putting up politician posters then snorting the remainder of the paste

minstrel scripts shoveled into the walls by their elders

my children sharpening quarters on the city’s edge

For these audiences

I project myself into a ghost like state

For these gangsters, I do the same

every now and then, we take a nervous look east

Sleep becomes Christ

Sleep starts growing a racial identity

do you ever spiral, Lord?

has the gang-age betrayed us?

be patient with my poems, Lord

So much pain

there is a point to crime… 

There has to be if race traitors come with it

 Lord, is that my revolver in your hand?

Better presidents than these have yawned at cages

Have called us holy slaves

Filled the school libraries with cop documentaries

Baby, I don’t have money for food

I have no present moment at all

/

I Do Not Know the Spelling of Money

I go to the railroad tracks

And follow them to the station of my enemies

A cobalt-toothed man pitches pennies at my mugshot negative

All over the united states, there are

Toddlers in the rock

I see why everyone out here got in the big cosmic basket

And why blood agreements mean a lot

And why I get shot back at

I understand the psycho-spiritual refusal to write white history or take the glass freeway

White skin tattooed on my right forearm 

Ricochet sewage near where I collapsed 

into a rat-infested manhood

My new existence as living graffiti 

In the kitchen with

a lot of gun cylinders to hack up

House of God in part

No cops in part

My body brings down the Christmas 

The new bullets pray over blankets made from old bullets

Pray over the 28th hour’s next beauty mark

Extrajudicial confederate statue restoration 

the waist band before the next protest poster 

By the way,

Time is not an illusion, your honor

I will return in a few whirlwinds

I will save your desk for last

You are witty, your honor

You’re moving money again, your honor

It is only raining one thing: non-white cops

And prison guard shadows 

Reminding me of

Spoiled milk floating on an oil spill

A neighborhood making a lot of fuss over its demise

A new lake for a Black Panther Party

Malcom X’s ballroom jacket slung over my son’s shoulders

Pharmacy doors mid-slide

         The figment of village

                     a noon noose to a new white preacher

Wiretaps in the discount kitchen tile

-All in an abstract painting of a president

Bought slavers some time, didn’t it?

The tantric screeches of military bolts and Election-Tuesday cars

A cold-blooded study in leg irons

Leg irons in tornado shelters

Leg irons inside your body

  Proof that some white people have actually fondled nooses

That sundown couples 

made their vows of love over   

opaque peach plastic

and bolt action audiences     

Man, the Medgar Evers-second is definitely my favorite law of science

Fondled news clippings and primitive Methodists 

My arm changes imperialisms 

Simple policing vs. Structural frenzies

Elementary school script vs. Even whiter white spectrums

Artless bleeding and

the challenge of watching civilians think

     “terrible rituals they have around the corner. They let their elders beg for public mercy…beg for settler polity”

“I am going to go ahead and sharpen these kids’ heads into arrows myself and see how much gravy spills out of family crests.”

Modern fans of war

    What with their t-shirt poems

    And t-shirt guilt

And me, having on the cheapest pair of shoes on the bus, 

I have no choice but to read the city walls for signs of my life

                                                                                     /

The Chicago Prairie Fire

First, I must apologize to the souls of the house

I am wearing the cheek bones of the mask only

Pill bottle, my name is yours

Name tagged on the side of a factory of wrists

Teeth of the mask now

Back of the head of the mask now 

        New phase of anti-anthropomorphism fending for real faces

Stuck with one of those cultures that believes I chose this family

I am not creative

Just the silliest of the revolutionaries

My blood drying on 

   my only jacket

just as God got playful

the police state’s psychic middlemen

Evangelizing for the creation of an un-masses 

An un-Medgar

Blood of a lamb less racialized

or awesome prison sentence

Good God

Elder-abuse hired for the low

dog eat genius

Right angle made between a point

On a Louisiana plantation

And 5-year old’s rubber ball 

3 feet high and falling

like a deportee plane 

to complete my interpretation 

(of garden variety genocide) 

I am small talk

about loving your enemies

A little more realistically

About paper tigers 

And also gold…

I need my left hand back 

I broke my neck on the piano keys

Found paradise in a fistfight

Maybe I should check into the Cuba line

Watching the universe’s last metronomes

some call Black Jacobins

Just wait…

These religions will start resigning in a decade or two

Some colorfully 

Some transactional-ly

In a cotton gothic society

Class betrayal gone glassless/ I mean ironically/ my window started fogging over too 

Wondering which Haiti will get me through this winter

Which poem houses souls

Which socialist breakthroughs

Breakthroughs like ten steps back

Then finally stillness

Stillness

Then stillness among families

a John Brown biography takes a bow

I’m up next to introduce Prosser to Monk

I remember childhood

Remember the word “Childhood” being a beginning 

Scribbling on an amazing grace 

I rented this body from some circumference of slavery

Remember being kicked out of the Midwest

Strange fruit theater

Lithium and circuses

Likeminded stomachs 

The ruling class blessing their blank checks with levy foam…

                            with opioid tea 

Sentient dollar bills yelling to each other pocket to pocket

Cello stands in the precinct for accompanying counterrevolutionaries 

My mother raised me with a simple pain

A poet loses his mind, you know, like the room has weather

Or first-girlfriend gravity

Police-knock gravity 

Mind-game gravity

Or revolution languishing behind 

The sugar in my good friend’s mind

“The difference between me and you

Is that the madness

Wants me forever”

A pair of apartments

Defining both my family

And political composure

Books behind my back

Bail money paved into the streets

Playing:

Euphoria

Euphoria

Cliché

Bracing for the medicine’s recoil

Sharing a dirty deli sandwich with my friends

Black Jacobins

Underground topography

Or grandmother’s hands

Psychology of the mask now

Teeth of the mask again

—

Originally from San Francisco, Tongo Eisen-Martin is a movement worker and educator who has organized against mass incarceration and extra-judicial killing of Black people throughout the United States. His latest curriculum on extrajudicial killing of Black people, We Charge Genocide Again, has been used as an educational and organizing tool throughout the country. His book of poems, Someone’s Dead Already was nominated for a California Book Award.

[sherubshereyes]

Hey, whut up

Dear Jon:

Instead of messaging you at 3:37 am while you sleep I will write here. Write whatever I want because hopefully I will have self control and not send it anyway.

‘Lullaby’ and ‘Don’t You Worry About Me’ by Lukas Graham just came on and now I want to get serious. And I probably will send you this... when you wake the heck up. Lol.

You said something about how it’s weird to find god after a psychotic break... and I understand that fully but I’ll explain why it happens to me EVERY time I am hospitalized.

When you are in a place like -insert 3 mental health hospitals here- you feel punished. You feel ALONE... and if you let yourself believe god exists, well then you are not alone after all.

After -FV hospital- in 2011 I was 22 and I went to see Ben Rector live at the intersection in the front lounge. I didn’t even know he was a Christian artist until I got out of -FV- this time around. Like on 2/10/2020 I mean. The back is bigger at the intersection so it was maybe $10 for front shows and bob marley’s kid was performing in the back. Idk which one lol. I went out to smoke cigs periodically and I BET stoners were smoking joints and I didn’t know it. I tried weed my first time a week later while drunk on my friends 21st birthday. I smoked with her step brother (he was her roommate) and she was passed out drunk (duh) so she didn’t partake. I found myself on the deck dizzy and alone after... puking.

“Your heart won’t break I won’t let it” random lyric from the song on shuffle by Lukas Graham. Sorry I’m ADHD

“I know you know I’m not perfect and I hope you know I’m worth it” this song is good... back to my story...

This house was in a trailer park and I lived with my parents 4 miles away. I drove my drunk/high ass home and I’m not sure how I didn’t fucking die. Lol. See. God probably made sure I made it home safe. I still remember it vividly. Like, I can feel how dizzy and unsafe I was driving but I made it.

In 2017 I was hospitalized for 3 weeks, court ordered by my family, after I had met a man named "Levi” at a wedding and wanted to leave "Bob” for him. He was closer to my age, hella hot, smoked cigs and called them fags because he was from Europe. He had the same mustache tattoo as me and it was on the same finger. We snap chatted inappropriately and I don’t fucking regret it either but he bailed on me and would never speak to me again after I got out of the hospital. “Bob” and I were separated after that stay and I threw a remote at his face and he called the cops on me to report domestic assault. It was really hard and I wondered if I would go to jail. I didn’t. Don’t you think maybe god said “not today satan?” Hahaha cuz I do.

I was going to church then. -Insert church name here-. It’s non denominational and it felt right. I felt lonely and afraid so I caved and took “Bob” back even though I didn’t want to. I started crawling into his bed instead of my own. He was sleeping in the spare room and I realized I couldn’t be alone. I WANTED to be... but I couldn’t support myself and I had no other options.

“Bob” went to church with me then too a little. He has strong doubts about faith but I’ve never heard him say he is an atheist... unlike you lol.

This time around you were very present in my life for the postpartum mania and I HOPE I have not scared you. I’m pretty sure I’m just scaring myself now more than anything. I got A LOT of male attention in -FV hospital-, as I do at every hospital because I’m hella fun manic and draw people in. I’m smart, I practice self care (unlike when I’m depressed) and it shows when I let myself love myself again.

I tried to cling to “Bob” in there this time. I transferred units to avoid the men cuz 500E only ever had 3 men at all times. Coincidence I think, maybe god again?? Haha! I don’t know. I just realized that too. “Liam” told me not to put “Bob” on my phone plan when I talked about it and I defended my future actions saying “but I’m married” like it fucking mattered.

Insert break to let "the girl dogs” out and play more tunes. It’s 4:03 now and this is how ADHD I really am lol

“Take the world by storm” is on now and I feel like I’m gonna do it. In my own time.

“I want to tear down boundaries and greet my enemies” such a good song too.

It’s 4:07 and as I smoke while “Tony” barks like a bitch I realize this will have to be emailed cuz it’s gonna be a fucking novel. I hope you like it, hahaha.

“What happened to perfect” is on now and it’s like a break up song. More Lukas Graham on shuffle. See why I think god speaks to me thru music? “Tony” woke “Bob” up which is why I let her and “Casey” out. I have to make a bottle cuz “Liam” is over due but still sleeping.

4:12 am and now “Everything that isn’t me” is on and I sent this to “Bob’s” mom on Thursday. He has no idea I’m talking to her still. He’d be mad. I don’t know why he hates her so much. I kind of love her a lot.

4:20 am (lol I screen capped proof) and I’m making coffee in my Jason Momoa mug. I made “Bob” listen to that song while he changed “Liam’s” diaper.

I tried to warm up a bottle but “Liam” got impatient so it’s not so warm. I made pizza and “Bob” took the bottle and “Liam” back in the bedroom. I am banished to the living room and couch tonight, of course.

I ate peanut butter on a spoon for protein and calories before the pizza and then used the end of the spoon to open my creamer for my coffee. Fierce. I love it, I really do. My coffee is perfectly pale and I don’t care what “Liam” says about too much creamer. It’s the best. It’s 4:26 now. This coffee tastes amazing and my pizza is gone so I want to smoke again... so I probably will.

I’m going to put Ben Rector on shuffle now and see how this goes. He performs May 1st at fountain street church and I really wish I could go. I heard that ON THE RADIO in -FV hospital-. I’m not even joking. Hi, god, what up tho?

I’m cheating and playing “i like you” cuz why not. I’ll see what shuffles after. I’m going to Walgreens around 8 am to get more coffee ($2.99 for 12 k cups) I’m getting you some. I’m also searching for something on clearance in Valentine’s Day section. I’ll go to every store in town if I have to just to find it.

“Forever like that” is on now and I can’t make this shit up. If you didn’t listen to it, it’s the other love song. Probably cuz I love you so much but I’ll be ok as just your friend, honestly, I will. It’s 4:34 am now.

When my mom and I fought Wednesday I told her how “Bob” ruined my life. I don’t want to tell you. He didn’t mean to. I want you to stay his friend so bad. He needs you more than me. I’m still working on my cig and sipping coffee. It feels glorious. Insert the old character of Bobby Roode and now I wish I had a robe like him... or in general... but I lose every robe I ever own.

“I want to spend my forever like that” last lyric of the song... what will be next??

It’s called “beautiful” and I don’t know it but I I feel beautiful and sexy as hell and I like it a lot.

I’m going back inside and it’s singing “I was 16 with a broken heart with the windows down in a beat up car” damn. I was like that too. Best year of my life and why it’s my favorite number. “Liam” was born 1/16/2020 so yeah. Magic? God? Whatever. I’m gonna go in and re read and spell check this mess while watching Across the Universe. This “May be where I leave you” as I say that I think of the centaur dropping off Harry Potter after Voldemort drank unicorn blood in front of him in the forbidden forest or some shit.

4:45 am and the song on Across the Universe is “I get by with a little help from my friends” accurate. Lyric - “I get high with a little help from my friends” also true. Insert panda cuddles. One day I can get high with you again. One day. I’m definitely done now.

4:53 am and I’m gonna ask you for your email now and hope I’m not driving you crazy but if I don’t ask it now I might be too scared later.

Love you,

Me

P.S. Second cup of coffee at 5:10 and “I’ve just seen a face” by Jim Sturgis (Beatles cover) is on Across the Universe. Look it up and please don’t freaking hate me ok. “She’s got a boyfriend” “It’s ok, I’ve got a girlfriend” I love this movie beyond measure

#religion #bipolar #mental disorder #love #borderline personality traits #borderline personality disorder #fp #favorite person #across the universe #ive just seen a face #weed #pot #cannibas #getting high #mental health #mental breakdown #psych #psychiatric #psychiatric hospital #true love #star crossed lovers #dear jon #dear john #letter #coffee #peanut butter #anonymity #anonymous #harry potter #ben rector

[amarmeme]

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Written for Leather & Lace 2018. Today’s prompt was “trapped together.” Before Day 5 ends, please accept my Habitat 7 AU where Harry Carlyle and Lyssa Ryder get stuck in a cave. 

The jarring sound of male grunting snaps Lyssa awake. The stranger’s determined efforts assault her eardrums despite her helmet, sore head pounding in time with her heartbeat. Lyssa wheezes as she rises to her elbows in caution, unsure if she’s injured. Her body hurts, a deep ache that echoes through bones, as if she's still falling, still hitting the ground over and over. The landing lights of the shuttle strobe on and off in time with her misery. Blue then green. Blue then green. What's visible in front of her is less than helpful. Her eyes follow the moss-covered rock face up, up, up to the crack in the cave ceiling where their shuttle wedged its way through. The small, white ship rests crumpled in its place, one side missing a wing and a door and the nose smashed inwards.  

The pilot...

Lyssa swallows her concern and eases her stiff body around to see who makes the racket behind her. This is not the time to get emotional, but practical. A giant palm-like tree obstructs her view and all she can identify is the person’s back. The entire Pathfinder team wears the same white and blue suits -- it could be any of her father’s crew. Except him; Alec Ryder always suits up in red. She thinks dimly that she should be concerned about not remembering who was in her shuttle.

“Hello,” she shouts. “Are you okay over there?”

The grunting stops. “Lyssa, is that you?”

Lyssa smiles to herself despite the situation. She knows that gravelly voice. “Yea, Doc, it’s me.” She tests getting up, taking it one movement at a time. Nothing feels broken, but if something is amiss, at least she’s stuck with a doctor. “Need some help over there?”

Harry grunts then sighs, sitting on a large rock as she stands erect at last, wavering like a new calf. “You could say that,” he deadpans. “I’m pretty sure I’m too old for this.”

Lyssa pshaws, creeping beneath the alien palm tree. “You’re not even as old as my dad. Stop complaining, Doc.” That comment gets her another undignified grunt, and Lyssa can’t help but laugh. She knew Harry would hate that.

“That man’s superhuman. Probably could get a door off his own damn leg.” A shuttle door indeed rests on Harry’s left leg, trapping him between that and a rock. She walks over, crouches down to inspect the scene, and sits back on her heels as Harry stares down at her. “It's not broken,” he gruffs.

“Let me try,” she says. “SAM?” The AI doesn’t respond. It seems her implant is useless in the bottom of this deep cave. It's up to her to figure out the best place to lift.

Lyssa walks around the battered door and Harry, sizing up the best place to leverage her strength. Had her scanner been working, SAM would have said where to exert the right amount of force. Head still garbled, Lyssa fumbles around until she finds it on her own. The suit takes a portion of the weight, but her insides still hurt like hell when she lifts. Harry scrambles back though and she drops the door quick, folding over after with hands on her knees.

“Don’t... think... I... have... that... in me... again,” she pants.

Sit down, kid,” he says. Harry pulls her gently by her elbow and Lyssa plops next to his side.

She turns to face him. “Don't call me that.”

“What? Kid? You're half my age--”

“I don't call you old man.”

Harry lets out a deep breath and pulls her in a single-armed embrace. “I feel it though.” He squeezes tighter. “Kirkland didn't make the crash. Neither did Greer.”

Some of her memory returns now; getting on the shuttle with Harry last minute instead of with Cora, the electric charges in the atmosphere, striking the cliff face sure they were going to die. Apparently two did. Three including the pilot.

Harry interrupts her thoughts. “How are you doing physically? Any specific pain?”

Her body still aches, but falling will do that to a person. The suit only absorbs so much. “I think I have a concussion?”

“And here I was complaining about a trapped ankle.” Harry drops his arm and swivels to look at her through her helmet. “What's your full name?”

“Lyssa Jane Ryder,” she says.

“Occupation?”

“Armed Combatant Specialist.”

“Address?”

Lyssa narrows her eyes at Harry, shaking her head slowly. “Really?”

“Sorry, he says. “Old habits die hard. I'd do a few tests, but I've already seen your reflexes, your coordination. It's probably a mild concussion at most. You got lucky, Lyssa.”

“Huh, then why don't I feel it?”

They sit silently after that, looking around the cave and its abundance of flora. Green shoots out of every square inch, swaths of moss covering the rocks, the floor. The twisted, reflective metal of the shuttle is out of place, jarring. So are the bodies of Greer and Kirkland, broken over a jagged shelf maybe ten feet up. Lyssa shudders. How had she missed that fate?

“Your comms work?” She asks.

“Not a bit,” he shrugs. “Yours?”

Lyssa shakes her head. “Maybe we should get out of here. Doubt anyone's going to find us hidden away like this.”

Harry nods, gesturing towards his ankle. “You're going to have to help me. Damn thing’s twisted. Can't really do much for it either.”

She helps him up. Harry leans into her and their helmets clack. “Sorry,” they both say at the same time. Lyssa takes his weight as best she can and they hobble over uneven ground. Once the strobe of the shuttle fades away, they turn their helmet lights on. The cave straightens out helpfully, yet the tunnel to the surface seems to be monstrously long.  

“What did your dad talk us into?”

Lyssa can't justify an excuse. She’d been asking the same question for months before the trip and now that they're here... It's too depressing. Levi’s not awake, members of her team have died, Habitat 7 is a complete bust. Instead of feeling sad, anger courses through her.

“Fuck!” she snaps. Her veins even feel hot. “Let's talk about something else. You got a wife, Harry?”

It was the first thing that came to mind. Once it's out, she feels a bit guilty.

He laughs though, teetering next to her as they climb over a log. “Never have.”

She smiles. For some reason that answer makes her feel a little better. “Consummate bachelor? Scam too many ladies in one galaxy gotta break hearts in another?”

“Hardly,” he says. “I’m in the business of fixing hearts, not breaking them.”

“Come on,” Lyssa teases. “With a voice like yours and that salt and pepper look? I guarantee someone's cried over you before. Plus, doctor.”

“Is that... hot? I thought that was reserved for people in uniform?”

She snickers. The way he says it, “hot,” as if it's some trendy term and not what people have been calling men like him for centuries. Harry is hot. Smoking hot in a way that's always distracted her. He'd been the one to put her under in cryo, and after his face was the last thing she'd seen, Lyssa would swear she'd been having sex dreams about him for the last 600 years. She’d followed him into the shuttle on the Hyperion after all. Not onto Cora's like she was supposed to. Harry had that pull on her and he really had no idea.

“Harry, your patients aren't coming to see you just for your medicine.”

“Whatever you say.” His words are dismissive, but he sounds slightly pleased.

They fall into comfortable silence for a long time, taking it as steady as possible. She's never been this close to him before, and although the situation sucks, Lyssa likes the feel of him there, arm over her shoulder, hers across his back. If only there weren't suits between them. She imagines he smells good. Something smoky with a little spice. He stumbles on a root and squeezes her hand tight. A flutter of stupid, stupid nerves run up her arm at it. Lyssa needs to get out of this cave before she acts any more like a lovesick kid.

Light floods their footfalls. Cracks of thunder echo through the widening cave. Together they shuffle forward faster; green is replaced by grey but they fail to notice. At the mouth at last, Harry stumbles, almost crashing to the ground. Lyssa strains to hold him up. Outside the electric storm rages, a burst of lightning strikes down nearby. It's a horror scene. Harry's wheezing, coughing. Confused, Lyssa wheels around in front of him, taking his head between her palms. A crack in the visor is finally visible in the light of day.

“We gotta go back,” she says, pulling him up again. Harry can't breathe enough to argue, but his body doesn't fight her. Scrambling, she half carries him to the point where the plants flourish again. His grip on her is vice-like and she grinds her teeth together, insistent on getting him back to breathable air.

At a certain point he refuses to move further, stiff arming the rock wall. “Lyssa, I'm fine,” he says. “I’m fine.”

She drops to the ground then, collapsing in a pile of relief.

“You have to leave me.”

She glances up too quick, horrified at the suggestion. Her head swims a little. “I'm not--”

“Look, you said it yourself. No one is going to find us hiding in this cave. I trust you'll not leave me here to die.” Harry slumps down next to her on the floor. “You'll be okay. Find Cora -- your dad. They'll know what to do about this.” He flops his useless helmet on the ground. They both stare at it.

She's sure they're both thinking the same thing, but Lyssa can't make the words come. But what if everyone else is dead?

Harry takes up one of her hands and squeezes it reassuringly. If she can't find anyone -- if no one's left... At least at the end she’ll be with someone she cares about. She’ll crawl back to Harry, tell him how she feels, has felt about him since they met more than 600 years ago, and then hopefully they'll screw themselves into oblivion while the whole planet destroys itself.

Before she can think better of it, Lyssa removes her helmet. Harry starts to speak and she covers his mouth with a hand. Replacing her gloved fingers with her lips, Harry whips his head back, shocked. They're laying basically intertwined, his right leg and both of hers in a tangle.

“Lyssa--”

“Just let me,” she insists. He blinks slowly and she surges forward again, kissing him deeply. He doesn't pull back this time, but angles into it, placing his hands on either side of her head. Heat coils up inside her, races up to flush her face. They find themselves getting more and more tangled with one another, Lyssa practically sitting in his lap.

He pulls away first, stroking her cheek gently. “What was that,” he murmurs in amazement.

Lyssa grips his shoulders then realizes she should climb off his lap. “Ahh...” She laughs nervously. What had she been thinking? They aren’t dying yet. “Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone about that.” Harry lets her go regretfully, hands following her path away from his body, grasping air.

“Especially not your dad,” he says. Lyssa flinches, cringing at her dad finding out what she’d just done.

“Don't worry,” another voice calls out. “I’m certainly not going to be the one to tell him either.”

So hot a moment before, a cold flush floods Lyssa’s entire body. Hair prickles the back of her neck. “Oh shit.”

“Yeah,” Cora says, hand resting on her hips in judgement. “But at least I came to get you alone.”

Weeeeeell, thanks Cora. :D

#leather&lace2018 #harry carlyle x ryder #harry carlyle #lyssa ryder #smoking hot doctor dude #age difference #mass effect andromeda #fanfiction #my writing #my ocs

[ashrantings-blog]

Chapter 1: Beginnings

It would appear that Alfr sadly isn’t blessed with much else than a sense for stewardship, which is unbecoming for a future viking. His patient nature however makes him a decent defensive soldier, which I might just find some good use for; particularly as we are not the masters of our own fate just yet, starting off as vassals under King Sigurdr Ring of Svibjod. My son Eirikr is more balanced - a Shy yet Flamboyant Schemer who somehow manages to be both Ambitious and Temperate at the same time. His forte, unlike his father, is thus guile and the stabby kind of diplomacy. Alfsol, the daughter, is still too young to have stats or traits, and her portrait is turned sideways with chubby cheeks and a blank stare, waiting to be filled with my ideas and glorious ambition.

First things first; Alfr must get married again and produce some more boys in case something horrible happens to my son, which would potentially mean game over upon Alfr croaking it. As such, I set my “ambition” to get married, and then start looking for a suitable wife. The women of the realm however seem less keen on marrying a dirty 39-year old at the meagre age of 16, but this is the way things were back in ye olde day. Aslaug, who is already in my court, has some pretty serious stewardship stats herself that would be nice to add to Alfr’s own, so I arrange a marriage between his fuzz and her vacant stare. A match made in heaven. I find a lady for my son too, who is also into spy-related shit.

Next comes setting a Focus, which is essentially what lifestyle your ruler pursues. Considering Alfr is a northerner surrounded up other pagans who are looking at his domain between deep, creepy breaths, pursuing the War focus doesn’t seem like a bad idea. It improves his Martial ability either way, which will be good when fighting goes down; and it will. Onto that, I might just be able to challenge people to duels, which will be hilarious assuming I win.

Looking over my council I come to realize two things; my son is my spymaster, and my steward is mediocre at best. 

I set to replace Grimr and immediately find Birger, who is willing to come over and check out my court in exchange for some hard cash. I concede, because in the Af Vendel family I’ll be damned if we accept anyone mediocre to handle our dealings.

Looking at my closest neighbour Porbjörn (Lit. swe: Porn/porebear) I realize he’s independent, has no friends, and has an incredibly weak levy. As Alfr’s ambition to get married now is also fulfilled, netting me some of that sweet, sweet Piety, I set his sights a little lower; Become King of Sweden. Also I declare a subjugation war on Porbjörn, with the intent of taking his lands.

Several things happen at once; Birger accepts my generous invitation (and bribe) and replaces Grimr as my Steward, and my liege King Sigurdr Ring declares a subjugation war in turn on Helsingland. As my army shuffles in to beat the daylights out of Pornbear, the rest of the kingdom rallies behind the king and marches north to grab some land of their own. As I siege Jarnberaland, King Ring rolls up with 1.6k troops to swallow a singular province into his kingdom.

Seeing his King swag past him with an army roughly twice his size, Alfr suddenly feels the urge to have more than what he does and acquires the Ambitious trait. Helsingland is straight up subjugated and put inside the kingdom’s borders even though I started my siege before King Ring. Never the less, within 2 months the gates of the little village of Jarnberaland falls, and I take it for myself.

Immediately upon conquering the province, I set my steward to fabricate a claim on Herjedal, which isn’t technically part of the Swedish kingdom and thus I do not have any claim to it even with my ambition to become King. My son is also sent to Constantinople to spy on their secrets and try to figure out how to build anything bigger than a mud hut. I set my sights north towards Tryggve of Medelpad, just past Helsingland that my liege conquered, and see that our armies are at present quite evenly matched. I play the waiting game and scheme meanwhile.

The very moment I see my levy is sizeable enough and declare war, my liege has the same idea but southwards and proclaims the Swedish-East Geatish Subjugation War. I take my men and march north, giving somewhere between zero and null craps about his dealings. I intend, after all, to eventually overthrow him. Ring immediately pressures me to join his war, lest I lose some Prestige, and I agree to do so without turning my armies around. I’m your moral support, Ring. Don’t worry-

Balls. My wife Aslaug keels over at dinner, clutching her stomach. Her recent period of Diarrhea, Fever and Abdominal Pains had clearly not tipped me off to actually call for a court physician. I realize I have no court physician, which might explain my wife’s sudden passing. No one person in my entire damn northern nation is deemed capable of being such either.

I bribe a man called Saemundr who appears at least partially educated to come to my court, and he fills the role nicely. Perhaps this could prevent further mishaps. My army meanwhile is reinforced randomly by Helsinglander infantry, who probably believe I am acting in the interest of their lord. I do not complain, and remarry a woman called Malmfrid whilst sieging the northern holdings. It’s good to be the future king-

Grimr decides it’s time to leave this earthly life just a month after my x-wife. He was doing nothing save for just hanging around in my court at this point, so I don’t really know why I should give a rat’s arse. Shove him out to see on a ship on fire, subjects! Meanwhile I run back and forth, slapping Tryggve and his army like a ping pong ball between his two provinces (thus, where he can retreat after defeat), ensuring his army shrinks significantly before I take to sieging his capitol down. My liege is fighting a hard-won war down south and probably could have used my troops. Alas, I’m busy usurping you, sir.

After the siege concludes I manage to drag Tryggve’s wife Aslaug (kudos to your taste in spouse-names though, sir) out of her hiding, and imprison her. Tryggve would have loved to pay her ransom to get her free, but sadly he’s well into the minuses so she gets to rot a little longer. The war ends promptly as I beat Tryggve’s desperate army once more, and I sieze all his holdings. His wife however remains in my prison, and I look her stats over briefly before letting her remain there. Maybe he can afford her release in the future. My liege meanwhile actually loses his first fight in the south, and I start to plot against his holdings instead. He only has one son, and what a shame it would be if he were to somehow croak before his time.

The Kingdom of Sjaelland with King Brandr at the front decides that my liege is a dick and decides to help Austergotland the only way they know how; declare a war of their own upon King Ring. Things are getting interesting as I also notice that there’s a small faction amongst Ring’s vassals, to whom I belong, that wish to demand independence.

But before joining any more dodgy plots, I wish to add one last province to my growing lands by kicking Chief Sarra, aka Chief Moustache, off of his throne or whatever equivalent that the Chiefs sit on up in the north. Meanwhile, King Ring pulls a fast one and after just barely sliding over 100% Warscore in his war, takes the entirety of Austergotland and the south for himself. The victory might be short-lived however as the Danes are coming marching from the south.

Speaking of short-lived, the cockgoblin immediately decides to demand I join his futile war, or suffer the penalty of 300(!) Prestige and potentially suffer disfavor to trust among the people of the world should I decline. To put this in perspective, Pagans of the north can immediately summon a 2.5k strong army with the aid of 500 Prestige, rallying warriors to your side, so it’s arguably a more valuable resource than money at this stage in the game. I am forced to relent, and hope my own personal expansion war ends as soon as possible.

Alfr decides this is the time to read up on Alexander the Great. Perhaps we can avoid certain pitfalls of his, like dying horribly. Ring’s Queen, Alfhildr has sadly managed to pop out another boy of his in the meantime, which might make my more stabby, shady plans more difficult-

Or not. Ragnarr, Ring’s firstborn croaks just as my siege in the north is about to end. He’s back down to 1 inheritor which, if we manage to murder him, will splinter his realm in a thousand pieces, but if we don’t, mean that he’ll maintain all his holdings and keep it all together. It’s a high-risk game, in a way.

Stricken with grief, King Ring puts a random woman to death by burning her at the stake. We all have our ways of dealing with loss, my liege, but damn. Also, upon the successful siege of his village, I capture Chief Sarra’s wife, daughter and a random courtier of his and throw them in my dungeon.

Either way, my war up here is over; I take his holdings and march south in an attempt to help my liege, in the hopes that I’m not next for the newly warmed-up stake. Disbanding and re-raising my levy, I send almost a thousand men to my King’s side. Let’s see how this turns out in the near future.

[ffdfsvdsvsdv]

Three Poems — Tongo

Kick Drum Only

All street life to a certain extent starts fair

Sometimes with a spiritual memory even

Predawn soul-clap/ your father dying even

Maybe I’ve pushed the city too far

My sensitivities to landfill districting and minstrel whistles/

White supremacist graffiti on westbound rail guards 

-all overcome and reauthored

The garbage is growing voices

Condensed Marxism 

modal gangsterism for a warrior-depressive

Underpass in my pocket

because I am a deity

or decent bid on the Panther name 

revolutionary violence that chose its own protagonists 

or muted stage of genius

A merciful Marxism        

Disquieted home life 

Or metaphor for relaxing next to a person 

Who is relaxing next to a gun

I stare at my father for a few seconds 

Then return to my upbringing

Return to the souls of Ohio Black folks

Revolution is damn near pagan at this point

You know what the clown wants? The respect of the ant. 

Wants a pen cap full of bullets

Wants to see their ancestors in broad daylight

I am not tired of these rooms; just tired of the world that give them a relativity 

My only change of clothes prosecuted

The government has finally learned how to write poems

shoot-outs that briefly align…

that make up a parable

white bodies are paid well, I posit

do white men actually even have leaders?

all white people are white men

white men will only ever be metaphors

all I do is practice, Lord

A rat pictures a river

Can almost taste the racial divide

Can almost roll a family member’s head into a city hall legislative chamber

Knows who in this good book will fly

I have decided not to talk out of anger ever again, Lord

Met my wife at the same time I met new audience members for our pain

We passed each other cigarettes and watched cops win

A city gone uniquely linear

Harlem of the West due a true universe 

 “I will always remember you in fancy clothes,” my wife said 

so here I sit… twisting in silk ideation

  My rifle made of tar

My targets made of an honest language

This San Francisco poetry is how God knows that it is me whining 

Writing among the lesser-respected wolves

Lesser-observed militarization

Dixie-less prison bookkeeping/I mean the California gray-coats are coming 

lynch mob gossip and bourgeois debt collection

I mean, it’s tempting to change professions mid-poem

in a Chicago briefing, a white sergeant saying, “blank slate for all of us after this Black organizer is dead.”

standard academics toasting two-buck wine at the tank parade

bay of nothing, Lord

  nuclear cobblestones, gunline athleticism  

and the last of the inherited asthma

children given white dolls to play with and fear

facial expressions borrowed from rich people’s shoe strings

I can hear hate

And teach hate

And call tools by people names

And name people dead to themselves

no one getting naturalized except federal agents soon 

carving the equator into throats soon

I’m sorry to make you relive all of this, Lord

pre-dawn monarchy 

friends putting up politician posters then snorting the remainder of the paste

minstrel scripts shoveled into the walls by their elders

my children sharpening quarters on the city’s edge

For these audiences

I project myself into a ghost like state

For these gangsters, I do the same

every now and then, we take a nervous look east

Sleep becomes Christ

Sleep starts growing a racial identity

do you ever spiral, Lord?

has the gang-age betrayed us?

be patient with my poems, Lord

So much pain

there is a point to crime… 

There has to be if race traitors come with it

 Lord, is that my revolver in your hand?

Better presidents than these have yawned at cages

Have called us holy slaves

Filled the school libraries with cop documentaries

Baby, I don’t have money for food

I have no present moment at all

/

I Do Not Know the Spelling of Money

I go to the railroad tracks

And follow them to the station of my enemies

A cobalt-toothed man pitches pennies at my mugshot negative

All over the united states, there are

Toddlers in the rock

I see why everyone out here got in the big cosmic basket

And why blood agreements mean a lot

And why I get shot back at

I understand the psycho-spiritual refusal to write white history or take the glass freeway

White skin tattooed on my right forearm 

Ricochet sewage near where I collapsed 

into a rat-infested manhood

My new existence as living graffiti 

In the kitchen with

a lot of gun cylinders to hack up

House of God in part

No cops in part

My body brings down the Christmas 

The new bullets pray over blankets made from old bullets

Pray over the 28th hour’s next beauty mark

Extrajudicial confederate statue restoration 

the waist band before the next protest poster 

By the way,

Time is not an illusion, your honor

I will return in a few whirlwinds

I will save your desk for last

You are witty, your honor

You’re moving money again, your honor

It is only raining one thing: non-white cops

And prison guard shadows 

Reminding me of

Spoiled milk floating on an oil spill

A neighborhood making a lot of fuss over its demise

A new lake for a Black Panther Party

Malcom X’s ballroom jacket slung over my son’s shoulders

Pharmacy doors mid-slide

         The figment of village

                     a noon noose to a new white preacher

Wiretaps in the discount kitchen tile

-All in an abstract painting of a president

Bought slavers some time, didn’t it?

The tantric screeches of military bolts and Election-Tuesday cars

A cold-blooded study in leg irons

Leg irons in tornado shelters

Leg irons inside your body

  Proof that some white people have actually fondled nooses

That sundown couples 

made their vows of love over   

opaque peach plastic

and bolt action audiences     

Man, the Medgar Evers-second is definitely my favorite law of science

Fondled news clippings and primitive Methodists 

My arm changes imperialisms 

Simple policing vs. Structural frenzies

Elementary school script vs. Even whiter white spectrums

Artless bleeding and

the challenge of watching civilians think

     “terrible rituals they have around the corner. They let their elders beg for public mercy…beg for settler polity”

“I am going to go ahead and sharpen these kids’ heads into arrows myself and see how much gravy spills out of family crests.”

Modern fans of war

    What with their t-shirt poems

    And t-shirt guilt

And me, having on the cheapest pair of shoes on the bus, 

I have no choice but to read the city walls for signs of my life

                                                                                     /

The Chicago Prairie Fire

First, I must apologize to the souls of the house

I am wearing the cheek bones of the mask only

Pill bottle, my name is yours

Name tagged on the side of a factory of wrists

Teeth of the mask now

Back of the head of the mask now 

        New phase of anti-anthropomorphism fending for real faces

Stuck with one of those cultures that believes I chose this family

I am not creative

Just the silliest of the revolutionaries

My blood drying on 

   my only jacket

just as God got playful

the police state’s psychic middlemen

Evangelizing for the creation of an un-masses 

An un-Medgar

Blood of a lamb less racialized

or awesome prison sentence

Good God

Elder-abuse hired for the low

dog eat genius

Right angle made between a point

On a Louisiana plantation

And 5-year old’s rubber ball 

3 feet high and falling

like a deportee plane 

to complete my interpretation 

(of garden variety genocide) 

I am small talk

about loving your enemies

A little more realistically

About paper tigers 

And also gold…

I need my left hand back 

I broke my neck on the piano keys

Found paradise in a fistfight

Maybe I should check into the Cuba line

Watching the universe’s last metronomes

some call Black Jacobins

Just wait…

These religions will start resigning in a decade or two

Some colorfully 

Some transactional-ly

In a cotton gothic society

Class betrayal gone glassless/ I mean ironically/ my window started fogging over too 

Wondering which Haiti will get me through this winter

Which poem houses souls

Which socialist breakthroughs

Breakthroughs like ten steps back

Then finally stillness

Stillness

Then stillness among families

a John Brown biography takes a bow

I’m up next to introduce Prosser to Monk

I remember childhood

Remember the word “Childhood” being a beginning 

Scribbling on an amazing grace 

I rented this body from some circumference of slavery

Remember being kicked out of the Midwest

Strange fruit theater

Lithium and circuses

Likeminded stomachs 

The ruling class blessing their blank checks with levy foam…

                            with opioid tea 

Sentient dollar bills yelling to each other pocket to pocket

Cello stands in the precinct for accompanying counterrevolutionaries 

My mother raised me with a simple pain

A poet loses his mind, you know, like the room has weather

Or first-girlfriend gravity

Police-knock gravity 

Mind-game gravity

Or revolution languishing behind 

The sugar in my good friend’s mind

“The difference between me and you

Is that the madness

Wants me forever”

A pair of apartments

Defining both my family

And political composure

Books behind my back

Bail money paved into the streets

Playing:

Euphoria

Euphoria

Cliché

Bracing for the medicine’s recoil

Sharing a dirty deli sandwich with my friends

Black Jacobins

Underground topography

Or grandmother’s hands

Psychology of the mask now

Teeth of the mask again

—

Originally from San Francisco, Tongo Eisen-Martin is a movement worker and educator who has organized against mass incarceration and extra-judicial killing of Black people throughout the United States. His latest curriculum on extrajudicial killing of Black people, We Charge Genocide Again, has been used as an educational and organizing tool throughout the country. His book of poems, Someone’s Dead Already was nominated for a California Book Award.

[scdpersonnelfiles]

Armin Arlert

Age: “It’s a secret~”

Profile: “Queen of the very bad Jaegers~ I keep them in line and the great thing is no one challenge me for the position. I love my beloved Eren who is the King of all the Jaegers. I have an annoying mate name Erwin and he’s always and I do mean always nagging at me to not do this and to not do that. He’s lucky he’s an immortal because otherwise he’d be my walking dead pet. I mean would it kill my mate to stop nagging me twenty four-seven? The sex is good and all but, I get bored of him easily when he’s in his lecture mode. When was the last time we had a good time? Go to a movie go out to eat or go on a fucking vacation? Or shopping? Hell, I’d go for cuddling at him at home in front of a dumb ass tv show talking or drowning alcohol to forget all our problems and having wild uncontrollable sex just to have some time with him. But, no I get so sick of him I want to run away from him. Sex alone isn’t going to make me stay and he should know that already considering how many time I did up and left him for months on end. At least I don’t kill a lot of humans he should be glad for that alone. Eren already gave me a set of rules and since I got those said ‘rules’ I haven’t done any of the very bad shit he keeps nagging me of. Maybe, his so called God created him to just annoy me to death. I’m at a breaking point of just leaving his ass and taking the bad Jagers to our homeland. I love him but, his bitchiness gotta go. I won’t even sire his youngs if things don’t change soon.”

Likes: Talking, Shopping, Dreaming, Reading, Hacking, Cooking, Money, Sparring, getting attention and remembering the day Eren was born and his tiny hands reaching out to a purebreed bad blood like him. He also liked to remember the day when Erwin had accepted him wholeheartedly at first. In the present now Erwin doesn’t accept him at all despite he has changed his more evil side of himself of killing indiscriminately at random upon his mood. 

Loves: Erwin, Eren, Mika, Rena, Desserts, Snacks,Pastel, himself, and maybe the future children he might sire with Erwin someday. If not, well he can’t miss what he has never had before it will be a loss but, he’d get over it.

Dislike: Nagging, Being Suppressed, Unappreciated, Fighting with Erwin, Erwin forcing him to change

Despise: Fighting Erwin, Arguing with Erwin, Leaving Erwin, Beings who do not know their place, Children dying, abused and or killed. And Anyone who dares hurt his beloved Eren or his mate Erwin.

He listen to Erwin and Eren...but, no one else..

Eren: Hugs Armin and patting his head “There there...If you talk to him he’d understand.”

Armin buried his face in his chest “What’s the point? All he sees is a murder, a bad evil boy. He’s treating me like I’m his god damn seed. I’m older than that fucker and yet, he-” 

Eren hit him on the head “Don’t be stubborn I know how much you love him and talking is your speciality here.”

Armin rubbed his head moping “He accepted me when I was all cute and innocent but, the day he saw me kill some guy he did a one-eighty on me. And when I hacked into all of the government base military weapon to prove how easy to control a human who tries to mess with us he didn’t even let me explain. Just took my shit and banned me for doing a lot of shit and make up rules, and all that bullshit. I’m a Jaeger. A dark one so I’m a mad evil little Feraline. So what? All Jaegers have darkness in them and sometimes they all react differently depending how tainted or how dark they’ve became. If I had a kid or if we made a kid then what? Chain them up? Banned them? I’ll be damn if I let my own mate constrict me or my kids I birth or sire....”

Eren stroked his hair listening to him vent,

“He didn’t ask me...all we do is fight...sure we have sex but, it feels more like fucking then making love. Then there’s those female bitches who claims they’ve been up all over Erwin. They either fucked or had a kid or he’s talking to them or giving gifts. Sure, I’d lose my temper. What Jaeger won’t if their mate is doing shit their mate don’t like. He���s always working to the point he should married his damn job. I refuse to live with a man like that which was why I packed my shit and moved out of his place. I really love him, Eren...but, I won’t ever fuck him when I’m in heat. Those weeks I’d leave him he gets pissy and ask where was I or was I flirting with someone else. Or fucking someone and all that annoying bullshit. He’s my first and he dares challenge my loyalty to him that just burns me the fuck up. Younger immature males are a pain the fucking posterior. At least your man is maturing so you won’t have so much marriage problems.”

Eren: “You’re married to Erwin?”

Armin shook his head no, “We’re not. If he asked me to marry him I’d tell him no. Putting a ring on my finger won’t fix our problem and it sure as hell won’t build trust between us. I want the Erwin from before....If only he never stumbled into that alley way everything would have still be perfect...”

Eren “Want me to talk to him? I don’t like the crimes you do but, you do help us and you don’t attack people at random or harm childrens. You have morals even if he doesn’t understands it.”

Armin nuzzled Eren neck “Wish you were my mate....my own mate isn’t as understanding as you....but, then again you grew up with the old me so you grew an immunity to it I guess.”

Eren laughs “Those people were beast not humans.” Eren eyes were emotionless there was no light reflected in his eyes toward the men or women Armin killed back then. “However, you should still talk to him....You two could eat dinner at either of your places and watch a movie and talk. it. out. You could even be blunt and tell him to apologize or something before talking about your problem. I can tell you this if I were like you Armin I’m a 100 percent sure no matter what Levi would still love me. Mate or not, he’d do everything on his own and protect me from the shadows. If I needed to kill someone he’ll intervene and do it himself. He takes on that burden without my asking him too and all I want is for him to share that kind of burden with me. What kind of mate am I if I don’t stand beside him? This should be the same to you right? You want to protect him from harm you want to make him happy and if someone goes unpunished by the law despite being guilty you take it upon yourself to get rid of them permanently. He just doesn’t know our way yet, or can’t comprehend that what Jaegers do is to protect and assure their happiness. We’ll do anything to please our mate. The only thing we won’t stand for is abuse to ourselves or our children and he’s not the type to abuse. And he’ll compromise with you if not then it’s Erwin lost. He’ll lose the best thing that will ever happen to him, I know you Armin and I’m fine with siring your litter if the time comes for it and that is only when you can not work it out with Erwin okay?”

Armin nodded his head, “I’ll try talking to him and see if we can fix it... An apology would be nice....but he’s too much of a dick to admit that he’s wrong....so I won’t get my hopes up. He doesn’t trust me so I doubt the word sorry will come out of those lips.”

Eren smiles: “Well, Erwin’s not dumb he should know by now that what you say or agree to is a promise you’ll die trying to keep. Jaegers words are their bond and if you promised him or said the words of never to harm an innocent you’d keep it. If he doesn’t know that by now then he’s not worth to being your mate.”

Armin closed his eyes tired from ranting, “I only kill those who are bad who are evil and who deserves it. He doesn’t know I can read minds are see the future...the way thing is now its going down a very dark path. I want the other one....I want to argue with my future daughter that the big man in my arms is my mate and you can’t have him and all that stupid rivalry shit. I want Erwin to teach my boys how to be a real man a real gentleman you know? I want to keep thinking up different nursery themes for the next baby...I want us to go grocery shopping...and getting on him about leaving the toilet seats up and all that jazz...It’s such a nice future you know? I don’t mind changing if he gave me a chance...sure I’ll have slip up now and then but, I’ve tried hard this far right? I deserve some type of credits...some appreciation would be nice too you know?”

Eren kissed the top of his head “Mmhm,I understand now how about this I’ll kick Levi out of the house and we can have the whole place to ourselves we’ll eat some much ice cream the toilet would be out next best friend. Then we’ll do it all over again with all our favorite cereal littering the living room floor.”

Armin thought that was nice “Levi can stay...I saw that somewhere in the far future he’ll be giving birth to your kids. Might as well start the girl talk with him sooner rather than later.”

Eren blushed...he knew that future very well....

“Okay. I’ll make a shit ton of different cheese dips...and fried chicken and more.”

Armin rubbed underneath his red swollen eyes “Woot, sounds like a party.”

Eren “Yeah, it is. There won’t be any work and we’ll take days off work to cheer you up okay? You can spill all your woe on Levi. He’ll probably beat Erwin up into shape how does that sound?”

Armin eyes went crimson to blue.... “Sounds...wonderful.” Even though Armin had to kick his anger down. He didn’t like anyone hurting Erwin but, maybe that’s what Erwin needs to understand how real this situation is.

[actual-flying-grayson]

Hello friends! This is one of my first short stories, it’s a topic I’m very passionate about. Please enjoy!

BROKEN

 “I hate therapy,” I thought to myself, not for the first time that day, as I loaded myself into the car. The thought continued to swirl around in my head as I continued the short drive to Doctor Zimmer’s office. She insisted I call her Diane, even though I persistently made it clear I didn’t want anything to do with having a closer working relationship with her. Her infectious optimism was always somewhat off-putting, which is probably why my family wanted me to see her.

           I folded the arms of my hoodie around my chest as I fought to keep the chill at bay as I slid out of my car. I braced myself mentally for the next grueling hour of tedious questions.

           ‘Just one last session, just one last session.’

The thought repeated in my mind over and over again, like a toddler practicing a newfound rhyme. Today was the last day I would have to see Doctor Zimmer, excuse me, Diane, and I honestly couldn’t be more relieved.

           I didn’t have to sit in the waiting room for terribly long, thank God. The secretary brought me back and I flopped down into the squishy orange armchair I’d become so well acquainted with in the past ten weeks. Doctor Zimmer greeted me in her usual way.

           “How are you this morning, Levi?” All shiny white teeth and just a little too much mascara. I mumbled something resembling a response as I kept my eyes on my dirty tennis shoes. We then proceeded to slog through about forty-five minutes of the same garbage as the past three months. The continuous picking apart and unpacking of my neuroses, my trust issues, my emotional distancing, blah, blah, blah. Towards the end, she folded one leg over the other and fixed a look on me from over her clipboard.

           “Levi, what is it that you think is wrong with you?” She took off her glasses and looked at me more intently. Is she trying to be maternal? Comforting? I had no idea, but God did I wish she would look somewhere else, she was making me uncomfortable.

           “Honestly ‘Diane’ for a hundred and fifty bucks an hour, I’d kinda like to know what the hell you think.”

           She pursed her lips into a thin red line and was silent for several seconds. “Well Levi, I think you’re dysfunctional.”

           “Meaning what, exactly?”

           “Meaning, frankly, that you’re just a little bit broken. That’s ok though, everybody is, to some degree or another.” She said the last sentence with her token optimism and tried to reach for my hand, which I deftly withdrew into the pockets of my jacket. She awkwardly withdrew her hand back to her own lap and tried for another confident smile, which died on red lips almost as soon as it started. She settled for a look resembling that of pity, and looked at the clock above the door. “Well Levi, it seems we’re out of time for today, I’m sorry. Now, I know this is your last session and all, but if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to call and set up another appointment. Have a Merry Christmas!”

           I gave her a polite smile as I rose from the chair and walked decisively back out into the cold to my car.

BROKEN

What the hell was that supposed to mean, ‘everyone is a little bit broken’? What a load of shit. I unlocked the front door of my apartment to hear the sound of my roommate watching a movie in the living room. I shook the snow off my shoes and stepped in to see him and his girlfriend cuddled on the couch, just as absolutely adorable as could be. Lovely.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

“Hey man, how was your doctor’s appointment?” I heard from the couch as I set my car keys down on the kitchen table.

“It was fine. Hopefully I won’t have to go back. Finger’s crossed, right? If you need me I’ll be in my room doing some stuff for work.”

“Aw come on, why don’t you take a break? Come and finish the movie with us,” my roommate’s girlfriend said in a chipper voice as she made some space on the couch for me. I shot her a small smile but didn’t respond as I ducked into my room. I clicked on my computer and sat down to write. I’ve been attempting to become a writer, in the pursuit of a long awaited dream. I was well aware that my writing skills were absolute garbage, and I was strangely comfortable with that. I’d had a couple short stories published in some local magazines, but nothing very popular. My brother had gotten all the writing talent in the family, having written and published several novels already.

I should have listened to my mother and become an English teacher instead.

LONELY

I blinked my eyes several times as the word faded from my mind, and shook my head softly to clear out the cobwebs. I had been writing for several hours when I decided that I should probably take a break and get something to eat. It had been a long day and I figured that I had earned a bit of a treat, so I grabbed my wallet and coat from off of my bed. I opened my bedroom door and stepped into the living room, very pointedly making quite a lot of noise. If I didn’t interrupt them every so often with my presence I’d have to have the couch steam cleaned again, and that tended to get expensive.

I grabbed my keys off of the table and closed the door behind me as I left. I started off at a steady pace, shoulders bunched beneath the cold. I had my hands in the pockets of my hoodie, curled into fists around my cell phone and keys. I felt the short, pulsating buzz of my phone vibrating, and pulled it out to answer. I looked at the photo ID before answering and wilted ever so slightly as my brother’s name lit up the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Levi, how are you? How was your appointment?”

“Hiya Daniel, it went well thanks. I’m doing fine I guess, yourself? I saw online that you just got another book out, that’s got to be exciting”

He gave a short laugh, “Yeah I suppose so. I don’t suppose you’ve gotten the opportunity to read it yet, have you?”

He knew damn well that I hadn’t, same with the last four books. For the sake of our relationship though it was easier to tell him what he wanted to hear. “I actually picked up a copy yesterday, I was just going out to grab some dinner and get started on it.”

“Hey, that’s awesome. You gotta let me know what you think, alright. Hey, have you heard from Kaitlyn lately?”

Ex-girlfriend. “No, not in months, why?”

“Funny enough I bumped into her not that long ago.” There was a soft giggle from the background, I rolled my eyes and tried to conceal my disgust.

“That’s great. Hey, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Sure thing brother. Call Mom, she worries. Merry Christmas, Levi.”

“We’re Jewish, Dan. We don’t celebrate-“

More giggling. “That’s great man, talk to you later!”

BROKEN

The line clicked off and I put my phone away as I pushed open the door to my destination: a small diner down the street from my apartment. It was clean, friendly, and most importantly, cheap. I picked one of the red vinyl booths along the wall and placed my order. While I waited for it to come out, I continued to think about my doctor’s appointment that day, as well as everything else that had been going on lately.

BROKEN

I am thirteen years old. I am home by myself. I am watching the snow come down outside, hoping school is cancelled tomorrow. I see a familiar car pull up outside. One of my older brother’s friends. She is much cooler than me, because she is in high school. Her name is Brandy, and she is easily the nicest of all of my brother’s friends. Most of them ignore me because I’m still pretty young, but Brandy is always nice to me. I think she is very pretty. She comes out of her car and walks up to the house and rings the doorbell, but I’m already at the door. Daniel and my parents are out of the house right now, and I am by myself. I am not allowed to have people in the house when I’m alone, but Brandy is different. I open the door.

“Hey, buddy, wake up. You’re freaking out the other diners.” I snap out of my reverie to look at the source of the voice. It’s my waiter, who appears to have brought my food. I mumble my apology and set about eating quickly so I can go home. Suddenly I’m very nervous, and I have no reasonable justification for it. I haven’t thought about her in, God how long ago was that? I thought I’d forgotten everything about her. She used to be pretty cool until her and my brother lost touch after graduation. I wonder what she’s up to now?

Hot breath on my neck. My voice is catching in my throat. I am crying, even though Dan said that men aren’t supposed to cry.

I blink again, and give my food one last look before I get up to pay. I hurriedly leave the diner and start the walk home. I should have driven instead, even though it’s such a short distance, the snow is beginning to fall even harder. I jam my hands in my pockets and pull my hood up to cover my ears. I need to get home quickly, but I don’t know why, I just fell so strange tonight. Stupid damn therapist, I never should’ve gone in the first place.

BROKEN

I can fix you Levi. Sad little Levi.

I shake my head again as I almost bump into a middle-aged woman walking briskly with her young son. She takes one look at me before pulling her son closer and hurrying away. How odd, I’ve never had that happen to me before. People are probably on edge because of the storm. I know that I am. Tonight has been weirdly reminiscent for me, I don’t normally get like this. I just need to get home and warm up before I freeze out here.

I make the rest of the journey back to my apartment quickly and quietly, avoiding other people on the sidewalk as much as possible. For some reason I scared that woman, and I don’t want to do that to anybody else tonight. I unlock the door to my apartment and all of the lights are off as I step into the living room and drop my keys onto the table. I click on a light and sit down at the table to look at the small stack of mail on the table as I warm up slowly but surely. I hear a small muffled noise come from my roommate’s room and I stop to try and identify it. Again, I hear a faint, feminine sigh, followed by the creaking of a slightly too old mattress.

DYSFUNCTIONAL

I whimper softly. I am very scared, and I don’t know what to do, and I just wish that my family would come home. “Shhh, be quiet. You don’t want someone to hear us, do you?” I try to quiet myself. Her hands are everywhere, as her mouth presses to mine. I am still crying and I cannot stop. I want to stop. I want everything to stop. I can’t stop though, I can’t stop the crying. I can’t stop anything. I am too weak.

I’ve been out too long and my hands are stiff, so I decide to warm them up by trying to write some more. I walk into my room and sit down at my laptop.

“You’re not exactly you’re brother but I guess you’ll do. Hold still.”

I open up my latest story and give it a quick scan before placing my cursor at the beginning and hammering the delete button over and over again until the page is blank. Then I open up another one of my stories and give it the same treatment. Then again, and again. Over and over until my finger is numb. The calm, rational part of my brain speaks to me, telling me that I’ll be alright. For the first time in my life however, I am able to easily silence that little voice. The only bit of rationality I am able to summon at the moment is the inability to cry. Thank God, I won’t do that again.

I stand up from my desk and grab my keys off the table. I need to get out for a bit, get some fresh air. The cold air stings my arms as I realize that I’ve forgotten my jacket. It doesn’t matter, I won’t be out for very long anyway. Just long enough to clear my head, to sort out what the hell is going on. Where are these thought’s coming from? Are these memories even mine? I haven’t thought about Brandy in so long. I haven’t remembered in even longer.

I don’t know what happened next.

I woke up in a hospital, with soft leather cuffs holding my hands to the edge of a white bedframe that reeked of sterility. My whole body was numb, and I assumed that it was from the cold. I tried to lift my left arm, only to feel the dense weight of so many white cotton gauze bandages pulling against the cuff on the bed. ‘Oh’, I think to myself, ‘I see’. I’ve been here before, but not in a very long time. Not since I was a teenager at least. The memories of the night before hammer into my chest with the force of a runaway train. A nurse bustles into the room once they see that I’m awake.

The next several days passed in a relative haze, although I never did seem to get much of a moment’s peace. Several doctors at a time would come in to speak with me about what had happened. Once everyone got all of the information they wanted, I was allowed visitors. At first it was only my parents, but slowly others came to visit as well. My roommate, my brother, some of the other friends I had grown close to in my life.

After I recovered physically, the doctor’s wanted me moved to a separate facility to sort out what happened. It took some time, but eventually I got everything out that needed to get out. Things that I had forgotten, things that I had put away even from myself. One of the psychiatrist’s asked me if I wanted to tell my parents, or if I wanted someone else to do it. I figured that it should come from me, in order to help with the healing process. Either my healing process or theirs, I’m not sure. My parents were angry, and confused, and hurt that I hadn’t said anything. I think Daniel blames himself. A small part of me thinks that maybe he should.

I have since been released from the hospital. I suppose I should say hospitals, plural. While there I was able to get help, which is probably what I needed. I am still broken. Very, very broken. I’m repairing myself though, slowly. so slowly it hurts sometimes, but I can look myself in the eyes now without fear, and that’s progress. Damn it if still don’t hate therapy though.

If you’ve made it this far through my story, then thank you! I appreciate the time and attention. If you enjoyed it, please let me know! If you have any constructive criticism, please do the same, I’m constantly trying to improve. I hope this can help some of you out there, have a good night.

#short story #my experience #broken #warning #therapy #mental health