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inkskinned · 11 months

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one of the things that's so frustrating is how often the arguments against us are actually happening to us. we said - you need to watch out, this will evolve into allowing fascism into legal statute. and we were told: you're a sensitive snowflake. you're annoying and stupid and have no concept of reality. nobody really believes that stuff.

but it's indoctrination for kids to even see queer people. it's grooming for kids to even be around queer people. it's disgusting to even put rainbows on kids clothes. it's inappropriate, shameful, still-an-argument. like any of this is new - we know already. for you, even seeing someone unashamed is the same thing as "forcing" it onto you. because god-forbid you confront any internal thought you have. because god-forbid you practice empathy. rage is better, i guess. it keeps you pretty.

this has always been the way of some people - a while ago, it would have been "sinful" for my white mom to marry my hispanic dad. once, in the year of our lord 2015, someone told me that "mutts" deserve a woodchipper. that one particular insult stayed with me - not because it was the first or last, but because there was something so unbelievably violent about it that i couldn't figure out how to hold it. the idea that someone is so assured of their bigotry and rage that they would paint this kind of a picture. even jokingly, even with the anonymity of the internet, it kind of centered things for me. a sense that, for some people, their rage burned so unimaginably large that it blocked even the basic fact of my humanity.

at one point, while i still had enough fire in me to get into long arguments, one of the bigots i was "debating" (being harassed by) said: to be honest, it's about the sex, not the love. between you, me, and the four walls of this blue hellsite, i actually didn't really care for "love is love" as the slogan of our community. it seemed so placid, so gentle, so ally-focused. where was the vitriol? where was the hours i spent agonizing over myself? where was the quiet moments of my life, filled with the sound of other people's hatred? this static that settles over everything; even for the action of holding her hand.

the world is unfair. i am an adult, and without the veneer and small-pond syndrome of my teenage years, the slogan has started sounding more desperate. the more places i went, the more people i met. love is love. love is defending him on a rooftop bar. the drink she throws at me goes down into my shoes while i stand there, wishing i had a better retort than what the fuck. love is both of us, keeping our heads down, the black SUV full of frat boys (?) pulled up next to us, howling, for five whole blocks, until we both gave up and had to stick our bare legs into the thicket by the side of the road, giving over into tick country rather than let it go on any longer. love is a lazy spring afternoon, my hand on her belly, the fan spinning overhead. did you hear the whole thing about target?

did you hear about being the target? that's a fun little parallel, isn't it. it almost feels like the game that-is-about-me is being played without-my-participation. someone wants to set fire to my life, and i have to wait for a response from a capitalist institution. i am watching a tiktok where a white woman under white lights complains about adult swimsuits, even though i think a lot of people would benefit from having swimming options that are not "instagram-inspired bikini" or "impossible to move in but otherwise pretty".

sometimes it just seems so fucking stupid. like, just to check, the rage you feel and the hatred - you could really just avoid all of that by minding your fucking business. sometimes (and this is true): it's not about you, and people don't need your permission. like, i don't understand any obsession with sports, but it seems to make other people happy. american football literally results in grievous bodily injury - and yet there are onesies for babies that say future quarterback. i personally don't love it, so i just don't buy that stuff. i walk by it, and don't let it bother me. there have been so, so, so many times that i was told - "so what if he's a little bit homophobic, if you don't like him, don't watch his movies." "so what if they fired her. don't buy their product." "so what if they wouldn't make a rainbow cake. just don't support them."

sometimes i feel the meaning of it scud against my body, an orca whale inside of me, threatening the boat. it is too large to see from my place; this shadow of a thing that dwarfs my petty other-concerns. i need to find a dress for an event, and florida is passing more anti-gay legislation. i need to text my friend back and confirm our plans, and someone is throwing beer bottles to the floor in a walmart because a different case had rainbows on them. it is a long fall, if i look down into it; this sense like the bottom doesn't exist. like i have only ever dipped my toes in.

sometimes i am unbelievably tired of talking about it. it feels like it has become too trite in my own poetry - queer writer complains about the state of the world! how original! - and then something else happens, and i am here again. i remember that it isn't a moment. i remember it isn't a scattered population of cartoon evil-doers, intent on world domination from behind handlebar mustaches. it is a concerted effort of real people with real power who really-do want to see my end. it is a lifetime of dodging the beercan as it sails out of the back of the van. it is a lifetime of not-kissing once we leave the apartment. it is a lifetime of watching someone protest our existence and then, very slowly, giving them the finger. it is a lifetime of holding my friends' hands and hearing the same agony in their life that i lived through. it is us, together, our faces turned upwards, the night sky so vast, milky way overhead like a lacework zipper.

it is a lifetime of staring down woodchippers.

#writeblr #this got away from me #i love you #whereever you are. u are mine. i am yours. i am sorry this is happening

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fireflysummers · 9 months

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Good Omens S2

Okay so.

Excellent Job, Gaiman

Ouch???

I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.

But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).

It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.

And it's slow.

Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.

Anyways.

Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.

I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.

I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.

I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.

I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.

On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.

And Crowley. Dear Crowley.

He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.

Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.

Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.

It won't be permanent.

But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.

Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.

I want Aziraphale to get angry.

He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.

I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.

But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.

For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.

For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.

For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.

And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #long post #text #religious trauma #religious abuse #recovery

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yall-hate-kids-tourney · 2 months

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Round 4: Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls) vs. Amane Momose (MILGRAM)

Propaganda below the cut

Mabel Pines (12):

I literally saw a tiktok today about how Mabel is a bad person. She’s 12! Like yes, she has made some mistakes and bad choices, but so has everyone else. And I never see any of the other characters in the show criticized the way she is. Everyone in the show has made mistakes (Grunkle Stan commits crimes practically every episode ffs) but because Mabel is a 12 year old girl and acts like it, she gets the most hate. Mabel deserves to be loved 🩷

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girl gets so much flack for being... immature and kind of selfish at age 12? like she had whole video essays made on why she is a horrible person who deserves punishment. god forbid girls be silly

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!!! Spoilers for Gravity Falls last 5 episodes !!!

This has gone down a lot but when the Weirdmaggedon arc was happening, the finale of the series, a big part of the fandom started hating Mabel because she accidentally caused the Weirdmaggedon (basically an apocalypse + bizarre shit like the water tower becoming an eight-legged monster with a giant mouth).

For context, in the episode that starts this arc, "Dipper and Mabel vs The Future", Mabel is really excited to the end of their summer vacation at Grunkle Stan's house, since it will be her and Dipper's 13th birthday and they will enter high school (her idea of high school of course coming from teen movies). But then this whole idea starts to shatter when Wendy tells her that high school isn't like a Disney musical, but it's okay, she will get through this since she will be with Dipper, her twin brother...

Except, that Dipper receives an invitation by Grunkle Stan's scientist brother Ford to become his apprentice after summer ends, staying in Gravity Falls, without Mabel. When she discovers it, she gets really mad at him and in a fit of rage, she accidentally picks Dipper's bag instead of hers and runs off to the woods.

When she gets there, Blendin, a time-travelling friend of theirs finds her and tells her that he has a way of making her brother stay with her, and make the summer take a little more to end, and that he just needed a little thing that Dipper has in his bag. That thing is a dimensional rift that Dipper and Ford contained to not cause the Weirdmaggedon, but Mabel didn't knew about that and gives it to Blendin. Blendin then breaks it and it's revealed that Bill Cipher was controlling Blendin to get the rift and release the Weirdmaggedon. He then traps Mabel in a bubble, starting the final arc of the series.

So, a few episodes later, that bubble she's in is revealed to be a world of fantasy that she controls, and that she didn't want to leave that world, as she was scared of growing up etc.

Context given, A LOT OF PEOPLE HATED HER FOR THIS. Suddenly people started seeing Mabel as just a selfish girl who wanted things only her way, when she was only a 12-year-old scared of growing up without her twin brother (they do end up going back together at the end but still).

The worst part is that apparently the people behind it took note of this, and on the comics that where released after the finale, she is a selfish spoiled brat. I haven't read the comics though so I'm going off what some people said about it.

Amane Momose (12):

Amane was voted guilty in the first trial so that she would acknowledge her guilt. It backfired, and now she’s considered a threat. Well, everyone is a threat, but nobody’s threat level has been as heavily discussed and debated as hers. Consider the next prisoner in line, Mikoto. He’s objectively more dangerous and cannot be restrained. He beat up the guard in trial 1, and he was able to hold his own when the other guilty prisoners were attacked. But a good incentive to forgive him is so that he will calm down. You know what? That’s a good incentive to forgive Amane too! But she *can* be restrained, so a good portion of the discussion went into how she should be voted guilty so she *will* be restrained and not a threat. Since her vote was a near 50/50, of course a good chunk of the voters expressed dissatisfaction with her forgiven verdict. Some are already planning to vote her guilty for trial 3, calling her a “lost cause”. She hasn’t even done any concrete harm yet. Hold the pitchforks until she actually causes harm, please? And what if she *was* voted guilty in trial 2? We’ve been warned that she will continue to deny our judgement. A second guilty verdict won’t make her better either, and then what? She’d be called a “lost cause” as well. There is no winning with her.

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Where do I even start? So first of all she’s an cult child who was physically and mentally abused and tortured by her parents and then (presumably) murdered her mother after her mother killed a cat that she took care of.

Now everyone in Milgram is a murderer but when Amane came and her MV showed her murder and circumstance in an admittedly highly fictionalized depiction of it the audience decided to…repeat the cycle of abuse!

She was voted guilty for the main reason of “teaching her” and helping her “realize that she was abused.” I would like to note that this tough love approach is something her parents utilized against her. “We are only doing this to help you.”

So the audience replicates Amane’s abusers and repeats the cycle of abuse and that’s pretty shitty but it isn’t exactly “Fuck Em Kids” level.

And then Trial 2 happened. Cause Amane is bitter and angry and horrifically traumatized so she acts aggressive and hostile. Especially towards another prisoner.

Now, again, everyone here is a fucking murderer (of atleast could be constructed as one) These people being able to Harm is a core concept of this series.

Yet for some reason it feels like people treat Amane as a “delusional creepy kid who wants to kill people” which completly takes away the nuance of her character. She does have the capacity to harm! Everyone here does! She’s not Uniquly Dangerous! She just has a Reason to be Dangerous. A Reason we GAVE HER by REPEATING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE.

In short: In a series full of Murderers I’m honestly a bit pissed that the 12 year old abuse victim is the one who’s treated like the guy from American Pyscho.

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TL;DR: "We metavoted this abused, indoctrinated child guilty in trial 1, but it didn't work. Now she is a threat to three grown adults: one who is fully free and two whom she has been shown to get along with. Please metavote her guilty again so she will be restrained and unable to attack them, even though that means subjecting her to further psychological torture." Amane Momose is the youngest of ten murderers, prisoners of Milgram who are to be judged innocent (forgiven) or guilty (unforgiven). In the first interrogation (voice drama), she said that what she did was in line with her religion's doctrines. If we judged her the "wrong way", she said she will just deny the verdict. Combining the voice drama and music video, you could piece together that she was raised in a cult and abused, even though she is cheerful and downplays her pain. She never shows *who* she killed, only *why* she did. After the first day of her vote, she was 81% innocent, but this wouldn't last the whole three months. Many people voted her guilty so she would "see her sins", part of the practice commonly known as "metavoting". Her innocent percentage rapidly decreased, and she hit guilty in the last 15 days, finishing at 51% guilty. At the end of the first trial, Jackalope (who is something like a host) went over all the prisoners' verdicts and commented on the general reasoning. When he got to Amane, he *laughed* at the audience for voting that way to make her realize her sins. Trial 2 rolled around, and it was revealed that Amane's victim was her abuser. On day one, she was at 74% innocent. Seems like a cut-and-dry case now, right? Well... in the intermission, two of the prisoners (Fuuta and Mahiru) were badly beaten up and became reliant on the care of Shidou, a doctor. Amane became hostile to Shidou because what he was doing was against her beliefs. She visited all three of them on their birthdays to convince them to change their ways. She seems to be especially close to Fuuta, who is now murmuring about salvation. Guilty prisoners are psychologically tortured, forced to listen to voices that reject their beliefs. Fuuta and Mahiru both say that the mental strain is worse than their physical injuries. But Amane, who also looks worse for wear, was thrown under the bus because she isn't injured and is considered a physical threat to them (never mind that she gets along with them). She's considered a threat to Shidou, a grown man who is twice her size and fully free, while she is partially restricted by the long sleeves in her trial 2 uniform. She might indoctrinate Fuuta even though, in a prison of ten people and one guard, she's the only voice of her cult. Fortunately, she got a break. Her vote was falling at a similar rate to the first trial. But this time, it stabilized at 51% innocent, 12 days before the end of her vote. But there's no way this is over.

#yall hate kids tourney #round 4 #gravity falls #mabel pines #milgram #milgram project #amane momose #momose amane #cw child abuse #cw cults #cw torture #cw psychological torture #cw animal death

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thorias · 3 days

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Every time I read a post about how all the deaths in ep5 won't be reversed because they weren't reversed in the comics (they actually were during the Krakoa era, but that's beside the point) and in the comics it was a horrific tragedy that nearly wiped out the mutant race and blah blah blah, I just get so frustrated.

The two things are not the same. In the comics, it was easy to stick to this and not reverse the attack somehow because no one important actually died. The only notable characters who were present for it were Magneto and Emma Frost, who both survived. So, yeah, it was an unthinkable mass casualty event, but the casualties were 16,000,000 background extras who nobody gave a shit about anyway.

That is not what happened in X-MEN 97. In ep5, they were killing off named characters, important characters, characters the writers will want to use in the future, characters it would simply be a giant waste to get rid of like this.

And it didn't stop there. They were killing off characters whose storylines hadn't even finished yet, (ex. Gambit, Madelyne) which, to me, is the biggest sign that these events are going to be, if not reversed, then at least changed somehow. I mean, how do you kill a character without concluding their arc first, thus leaving the audience without any kind of closure?

'Oh, you thought the Madelyne/Scott psychic affair storyline was super interesting and couldn't wait to see what happened with it? Too bad, she's dead! That story will just never be finished now, so suck it!'

'Oh, you felt bad for Gambit who didn't think he was a hero or deserved to have a happy ending and got his heart ripped out thinking Rogue chose Magneto over him? Too bad, 'cuz he died believing all that stuff and now Rogue will just be left to drown in her grief/guilt and be consumed with rage forever! *womp womp*'

Fuck. That. Shit.

That's not tragedy, that's not tugging on heartstrings and it's certainly not "Making a Point" or "Sending a Message About How Much the World Sucks." It's just fucking lazy, shitty writing. There's nothing narratively satisfying about it whatsoever, even in a sad way; it's the complete opposite! The only thing that does is frustrate the fuck out of everyone who's watching. That's the kind of slap-in-the-face garbage that makes fans want to ragequit a show, not support it.

So, no, I don't believe that the attack will be completely prevented. No, I don't believe that every death will be undone. But SOMETHING about that event is going to be changed (via time travel, resurrection, etc.) by the time we get to the end of this story. Because if it's not, if all those deaths are permanent and can't be reversed, then this isn't a story... it's just a bunch of bullshit.

#x men 97 #gambit #remy lebeau #madelyne pryor #magneto #rogue #anna marie lebeau #just saying #still so angry about this #cable get your ass back here and fix this shit

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descendant-of-truth · 4 months

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I never really thought about this until now, but. why did Aang never express any opinions on Azula whatsoever after she literally killed him

Like, am I supposed to believe that he's not deeply afraid of her after that? Or at least angry? She left a scar on his back that interrupts his culturally significant tattoos, and we just... never see him notice or care about that??

I'm currently about halfway through Book 3 on my rewatch, and the fact that nobody's even told Aang on-screen that Azula was responsible for what happened is more than a little absurd. I'm pretty sure they acknowledge it at some point, but in some kind of offhanded way that really doesn't do the matter justice.

It honestly feels like the show didn't want to touch that plot point with a ten foot pole, only mentioning it when it was absolutely necessary to further the plot on Zuko's side of things. Which is weird! Why kill your protagonist on-screen, leave him with two permanent scars when he's revived, and then never have him confront or even talk about the person who killed him again???

Aang deserved to have a significant dynamic with Azula after what happened at the Crystal Catacombs and the fact that they dropped the topic almost entirely two episodes later lowkey fills me with rage

#avatar the last airbender #atla #aang #azula #analysis #meta #Not sure if this really counts as an analysis but I'm tagging it anyway #Also by 'two episodes later' I mean the second episode of Book 3 #Can you imagine it?? the intrigue?? the parallels with Zuko over being scarred by the Fire Nation royal family???#If the Netflix version gets this far and keeps the same plot point at the end of Book 2 #then this is absolutely what I want them to expand upon afterwards

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kiragecko · 11 months

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One of the main reasons I love things like Reverse Robins AUs, is how they can help you figure out what's important to a character, and then look at those things through a fun house mirror to learn them better.

This is why my new favourite Reverse Robins concept is Tim, the second Robin, dying protecting a 4 year old Dick Grayson and his parents from the Court of Owls.

Part of why he dies is that Damian has made showing weakness so painful that he doesn't call for help. Dick leaves Gotham with his parents and gets another 5 years of happiness before they're killed by Tony Zucco. Tim becomes a Talon. He becomes active in Gotham when Jason is 16, and nobody knows who he is until Dick has become the newest Robin and the Court sentences Batman and Robin to death, a year and a half later.

Things that I find really satisfying about this idea:

It keeps the canon Dick+Tim 'Relationship Transformed by Kindness and Death' dynamic, but flips it. Instead of Dick being trapped in the place of his tragedy, surrounded by reminders, and Tim growing up silently watching him; we have Dick being whisked away from his tragedy, growing up surrounded by reminders of what's been saved.

It allows us to play with Jason's 'I Can't let Go of My Death and So I've Lost Myself and Everything I Loved' issues. Tim can't let go of his death, and it's his only link to himself and everything he's lost. He remembers saying 'The Flying Grayson's will fly again!' Keeping Dick alive is more important than avoiding being thrown back in the Labyrinth. Protecting Dick from the Court is his path back to his family.

It keeps the obsession and connection between Tim and Dick, instead of trying to convince the reader that Tim idealized Damian. I've struggled to translate Tim's motivation for becoming Robin in a reversed setting, and I can't make it work. This gives that motivation to Dick, instead, and allows us to explore how DICK would have been transformed by that one meeting. He didn't need love and affection in the same way Tim did. But I can see him holding on to the hope and heroism he saw, and instead of getting consumed by his rage when his parent's die, he's motivated to live up to Robin's legacy.

It gives a reason for my favourite reversed dynamic: instead of Bruce being broken by Jason's death, Bruce is convinced to step up by Tim's. In this universe, Bruce didn't choose either of his first 2 kids, and found it easier and safer to deny Tim even WAS his kid. (During Tim's tenure, Batman and Robin start patrol from the central Wayne Ent. Batcave, leaving the Manor to Damian, because it's easier than keeping Damian's vicious resentment and jealousy in line. Tim learns to mostly avoid the Waynes as civilians. Bruce deals with anything he sees, but doesn't confront the roots of the issues, and Tim loves being Robin but never feels particularly safe in the role.) Bruce 'got a kid killed' by holding him at arms length, and so, when Jason comes into his life and Bruce's attempts to find him a better place are stopped by corruption at every turn, Bruce chooses to truly become a parent.

One of the few things Tim remembers is his certainty that Robins aren't safe around Damian. This lets me keep Dick's canon struggles with Tim and Damian's conflicting needs. Both want to protect him, but Tim wants to protect him FROM Damian, and clingy baby Dick idolizes Tim, but NEEDS to hang off various parts of Damian for as much of the day as possible. Damian is drowning in guilt and wants to make Tim as comfortable as possible, but has committed to raising Dick. He can't let Tim stay between the 2 of them at all times.

It doesn't give as many hooks for Tim and Jason's relationship as I like. And I remain conflicted about whether Cass and Steph should come before Tim (to properly reverse canon) or after Tim (to make them contemporary with Jason, because he deserves to have contemporaries in AUs. Canon denied him). Duke is swapped with Babs, and I have fun thoughts about him, but that's a different post.

I don't think I can write this, but I want to see it!

#reverse robins #batfamily #court of owls #gecko's headcanons #talon!tim

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reddeaddamnation · 5 months

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"Too far": A Sebastian Sallow one shot

Warning ⚠️: Dark! Sebastian, angst, breakup

He messed up. Even after so many times his tricks passed, he knew you were becoming fed up with him. He only wanted to keep you safe. Make you feel loved. And make sure you don't fall for someone else... You knew he only meant good, right? You saw everything he has been through and knew he never meant harm.

As Sebastian paced back and forth around the entrance of the Feldcroft crypt, he hoped you would drop everything you were doing and came to see him as soon as possible. Like you always did. In his letter, he had stated that he just wanted to talk and clear the misunderstandings between you. And hoped the crypt would bring back the sentiment in you with its significance to your love story. He wrote that he did not mean to cast Confringo at Leander, who Sebastian misheard and in a fit of rage, thought was flirting with you.

Oh, but he was flirting. You were kind, beautiful... special. Why wouldn't the other boys try to get with you and use you? Nobody else could treat you like Sebastian. Nobody else had what he had with you. Anger bubbled up within him as he thought of Leander's smug face as he talked to you. And his face when he saw Sebastian approaching and the explosion coming straight at his face. If he hadn't cast Protego it would have wiped the smugness for good. But the shield caused Confringo to ricochet towards one of the heavy statues, which crumbled and fell on Leander, who was immediately sent to the infirmary.

Both you and Sebastian received detention for unsupervised dueling in the hallway, damaging school property with an unauthorized spell and causing injury to a fellow student. Sebastian got the longer end of the punishment, while you got off easier for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. It took Ominis so much pleading the headmaster to not have Sebastian expelled in his last year and now he was not speaking to him, you were threatening leaving him and he had a severe detention... which he ran away from just to clear things up with you.

Sebastian was shaking, thousands of thoughts racing through his mind, hoping you will show up... And you did. As soon as you landed with your broom, you didn't even dismount yet when you slapped him across the cheek. "You reckless idiot!" You screamed. He did not speak. Only stared at the ground, seemingly in shame. "I told you I never want to see you again! If you can't behave like a human being, I don't have a place around you!" You ranted.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered. "Sorry won't be enough when we graduate and threatened by Azkaban, Sebastian!" You slapped him again. Suddenly, tears welled in his eyes. He fell to his knees, uncontrollable sobs preventing him from speaking as he gripped your robe. "I'm so sorry... You know I would never cause anyone harm intentionally. You know everything. I never wanted things to go this far. I love you so much, Y/N. I'll change, I swear it. I wasn't in the right head space."

He did the usual trick he would do whenever he messed up with you. Act endearing, sob, promise it won't happen again. He was your weak spot. Right? It always worked. You would stay silent for a few moments, let him say "I'm such a fool.", "I don't deserve you.", "I always fumble.", "I only want the best for you." and forgive him after his little repertoire.

But not this time. You were fed up from forgiving and nothing changing. You tugged your robe away from his grip. Panic settled in his heart and eyes. "No, Sebastian." You cut him off "Enough is enough. I'm leaving you." Sebastian started quaking even more. What does he do now? Either cause a scene how you probably WERE in love with Leander and that's why you throw him away without giving him another chance...or let you cool off and then try again...

No...

He knew what he had to do.

You turned your back on him and that was your biggest mistake. As you walked away, the last thing you heard from him was a fateful, unforgivable spell...

"Imperio!" Sebastian's voice echoed in your mind, his wand pointed at you. And then... nothing.

In a fit of craze, his hands shaking, his voice cracking, eyes wide in shock, as if a moment of realization came to him. "What have I done..." he whispered to himself, slowly stepping towards your still form and embracing you in a tight hug, close to his chest.

"I'll keep you safe, Y/N. This won't happen again. We will leave this place and go far away where I'll take care of you and nobody will come between us." He reassured, voice shaky, still in shock. Of course, this won't happen again. He won't have to start fights for you, if there's nobody to start fights with. You were his and he won't let you go. Ever.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy sebastian #sebastian sallow x you

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smartycvnt · 1 month

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Title: Bring Me to Life

Pairing: Jennifer Check x Reader

Prompt: N/A

Word Count: 1204

Jennifer's death had rocked Devil's Kettle to its core. The relief from the murders didn't quite outweigh the shock of what had happened that night. The town had lost four that night, even if only three seemed to disappear. Nobody could have predicted how Jennifer Check's murder would have destroyed Ash.

To most people, Jennifer and Ash weren't even really friends. They were both popular, but that was about where their similarities ended. Jennifer was a self-appointed head bitch, and Ash had been known for being universally kind, even to those who didn't deserve it. That was what made their relationship so easy to keep a secret, nobody saw it coming.

That night, Ash had been ready to kill Needy for what she had done. Ash had written letter after letter to Needy, all of which she knew had been thrown away. Needy's escape had broken something in Ash. It had been years since the murder, and everybody assumed that Ash was over it. She wouldn't get over it, not when she knew that there was a chance that she could get Jennifer back.

Needy had been easy enough to track down. She had killed Low Shoulder, which Ash was grateful for. Their music wasn't good enough to excuse the heinous things that they had done for their fame. Because of them, she had lost her chance at leaving Devil's Kettle with the love of her life. After killing the band, Needy had gone to Chip's grave, which was exactly where Ash had found her.

"It's a shame isn't it, losing the person you loved so much so early." Ash knelt down next to Needy. The two of them sat there. Ash was patient enough to wait for Needy to finish the little prayer. A part of her wondered if Needy knew how similar the two of them really were.

"She was a monster, Ash," Needy said. She could scream it from the top of the world, but Ash would never believe it. Jennifer wasn't evil, and if she was, then Ash was just as bad. They were the same, both so full of rage and misplaced emotions. Ash had always just been better at hiding it. That didn't mean the woman didn't have a mean streak a mile wide like Jennifer did.

"She wasn't even 18 yet. We were kids Needy." Ash reminded herself to calm down. She couldn't lose her head yet, not when she knew what Needy still had on her. "We had the rest of our lives to spend together. I could have helped her, but you were too jealous to let that happen."

"She didn't want you. Nothing that you tell yourself will ever change that," Needy snapped. Ash grabbed Needy's jaw with one hand and forced her to watch as Ash slammed her fist into Chip's gravestone, cracking it. Needy's eyes widened as she realized that Ash wasn't completely human.

"Jennifer did a lot more than just bite me." Ash leaned in until her nose was touching Needy's. "I need that knife, Lesnicki. It's the least you owe me honey."

Needy seemed hesitant, but she ultimately gave into Ash's demands. She dropped the knife onto the ground at her feet. Ash immediately dropped Needy to pick the knife up. Needy watched as Ash practically sprinted away with it. A part of her felt like she had just made a huge mistake, but Needy didn't want to know the extent of Ash's powers. All Needy knew was that the woman standing across from her had not been the girl she remembered from high school.

Ash couldn't believe how well everything was coming together. She had practiced the ritual in smaller rites to make sure that it actually worked. There was just enough of herself left to give up for Jennifer's return. Ash couldn't help but get giddy at the idea of having Jennifer back. They'd fully be the same, and together, Needy wouldn't be able to take them down. She could try, but Ash wouldn't hesitate to make an example of her for the rest of the world. Ash wanted Jennifer Check back, and she did, Ash was intent on keeping her by any means necessary.

"I have been waiting-," Ash panted as she lit the last candle, "-for so long. I even kept that self-righteous little blonde bitch alive for you. Just please come back to me."

Ash practically drove herself crazy as she waited. She knew that it wouldn't be instaneous, but the wait for a human to come back was longer than she had expected. Ash knew that there were many variables that factored in, inlucing the time that Jennifer had been gone. Ash would wait days if she had to without moving from the spot where she was watching and waiting for Jennifer to come back to her.

Things didn't seem to take quite that long, which Ash was grateful for. The ashes began to smoke on the metal table that Ash had set them out on. In a flash, the ashes erupted into a quick ball of flames. Ash was smiling maniacally as the smoke began to die down to reveal Jennifer curled up in a ball in front of her. Ash opened her mouth to speak, but found herself far too choked up to say anything.

"I feel awful." Jennifer's voice was rougher than Ash remembered it. Still, she looked just like Ash remembered her to. Jennifer stretched out and hopped off of the table, unbothered by her own nakedness. "You look different, older."

"I am older. Jen, I'm almost 20. I feel like I've lived an entirely different life in the three years since you've been gone," Ash said. Jennifer didn't seemed shocked or bothered by any of the incoming information. "Needy, she's still out there if you want revenge."

"No, no," Jennifer softly refuted. She didn't want to get tangled up in a big mess in Devil's Kettle. She had been dead for three years, buried in the town's cemetary next to her grandparents. Jennifer knew that she needed to get as far away from this place as she could. "We have to leave, as soon as possible. You're coming with me right?"

"I-," Ash hesitated. She had been so ready to leave until she realized all of what she was leaving behind. Ash didn't love Roman, she never had, but they had a kid together. She couldn't just leave a child with that idiot.

"Come on, there's not much time. I need to find someone to feed off of before we leave," Jennifer said. Ash knew that it was wrong, but she wasn't someone to let such a perfect opportunity pass her by.

"I know just the person, come on, let's go!" Ash grabbed Jennifer's hand and walked them into her office. There wasn't a lot of options as far as clothing went, but Jennifer fit well enough into the extra scrubs that Ash had sitting around. It wasn't a permanent fix, but it was enough to not draw attention as Ash took Jennifer back to her house. Roman was easy enough to lead outside, and Ash found herself a little relieved whenever Jennifer tore through his throat.

#my writing #one shot #jennifer's body x reader #jennifer's body #jennifer check x reader #jennifer check

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anti-spop · 1 month

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found this reblog on the post i sent you earlier!

why are they acting like hordak and catra were actively fighting? moreover, as if catra was actually in danger and hordak was going to murder her? didn't catra just sneak up on hordak and attack him out of nowhere? or did these people watch a completely different show?

First ask

Jesus Christ, it only gets worse.

Yeah, I rewatched that scene a few times. Catra invaded Hordak's private space as she sat on his throne, she quite literally ambushed him. She took out the lights, disappeared in the dark, and we can see how horrified Hordak looks, until she eventually takes away his literal life support. Hordak was at Catra's mercy here, he could barely fight for his life. He could've straight up died there. He wasn't even the one trying to attack.

While I think in the S4 finale he did try to attack Catra, it was out of rage because IIRC he found out that Entrapta didn't betray him. Besides the fact the Horde was losing to the Rebellion, of course. But I mean, can you blame him? Catra was manipulating him at his most vulnerable state so she could get all the power for herself. She used his love for Entrapta against him.

Basically, that person is ableist as HELL. What the literal fuck. They're using made up shit to justify being ableist. This kind of logic is what literal conservatives say, actually. The moment they spot any bad person who happens to be disabled, LGBTQ+, black etc., they justify their prejudice. But like I said in the previous ask, nobody deserves to suffer prejudice. You should call out their individual actions, not their identities.

#asks #anti stans #ableism tw #ableist language tw

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writingomegas · 9 months

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So because of @animeomegas writing some soft Dabi, I have some slight brain rot. So here are some snippets of a bunch of different prompts that I got from this generator. I might expand some of them later, but no promises <3

GN!Reader who's also in the LOV and who is very lovesick and chaotic

CW: lots of cursing, one on two innuendos, one slightly angsty prompt where you imply you and Dabi are gonna kill someone but that's to be expected

Alpha breaking into Dabi's room through their window.

Dabi loved you. Did he admit that as often as he probably should? No, but he still did. However, that didn't mean he didn't also think you were the strangest person on the planet.

"Why are you coming through my window? I have a semi-functional door right there." He gestures over to the busted door that Kurogiri had yet to fix.

"I was on the roof. Easier to just come in this way." You shimmy your way through the window and grin when you make it through.

"Why were you on the roof? It's 11 am, people can see you."

"Nobody ever looks up. And I was bird-watching."

He looks at you incredulously. "Is that code that you were looking for Hawks?"

"No. I was actually bird-watching."

"...That's it, I want a refund."

"You can't return me, asshole."

Alpha traveling long distances just to see Dabi.

"I'm back!" You yell, running into his bedroom with a stupid grin.

"...Weren't you in America like an hour ago?"

"Irrelevant, I missed you." You hug him closely and pepper kisses on his face.

"How the fuck did you get back so fast?" He pushes your face away from his.

"The power of love."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You can't break reality and claim love let you do it."

Dabi and Alpha remembering their first kiss… and they have very different takes on it.

"It was our first mission together. We were arguing about what we should be doing, and next thing I know he was kissing me."

"It was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing."

"It's the hottest thing he's ever done."

"I was threatening to kill them before we did it."

"That made it hotter."

"It was a mistake. They never left me alone after that."

"Aw, love you too."

Dabi gets into a heated argument with someone. Dabi begins threatening them, so Alpha picks up Dabi and carries/drags them out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Sometimes Dabi and Shigaraki can get a little heated. Literally, in this instance. You can practically feel the heat radiating from your boyfriend across the room and you know he's seconds away from blowing his fuse.

So, you do what you would rationally do in this situation.

When you lift Dabi into you arms, he freezes and you can practically see the gears working in his brain to understand what's happening. You pay him no mind and continue to walk to your shared bedroom.

"Wh- put me down, asshole!"

"Nope."

"Fuck you."

"I mean, if that's what you want."

Dabi hogs all the blankets and Alpha gets cold so they cling tightly to Dabi for warmth.

"You are a walking furnace, why the fuck do you need this many blankets?" you yell in frustration, desperately trying to untangle one from the horde that Dabi has collected.

Wrapped snuggly in his favorite blanket, he flashes you a shit-eating grin. "I still get cold. You don't want me to suffer, do you?"

"I call fucking bullshit. You push me off the bed because being near me is too hot for you."

"I have never done that. I am innocent."

"You're a lot of things, but innocent ain't one."

You finally manage to wiggle one blanket free, but before you even realize what's happening, Dabi manages to snatch it back and add it back into the horde.

You growl in frustration and try again.

Alpha holding Dabi's hands when they are shaking.

Your hands encase his and you meet his eyes.

"Deep breaths."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath. When he opens them again, rage still burns like a forest fire.

"I want him dead. He fucking deserves it."

"I know, and I agree. But you can't let him get in your head like this."

"I don't want to care so much." His twisted expression makes it clear to you the internal battle he's fighting.

"He hurt you. It's natural that you care. But I promise you, we'll put him in the fucking ground."

He chuckles humorlessly and he almost smiles. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Dabi having to comfort Alpha because Alpha just encountered a very large, unpleasant bug outside that scared them.

He was trying so hard not to laugh, but you could tell he's barely holding it in. He pats your back with his fist covering his growing smile.

"There there, it's okay."

You pout and glare at him. "It was a huntsman spider! It was fucking massive!"

His loose hold on his self-control is broken with your comment, and he bursts out laughing.

"Y/N, feared villain across the whole of Japan, spooked by a bug."

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Yeah, but you love it," he grins.

#ak writing #mha #my hero academia #dabi #touya todoroki #bhna #omega dabi #omega touya todoroki

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californianmisoburgers · 18 days

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Hello 😊 Welcome to Tumblr!

May I please request headcanons for Akihiko, Mitsuru, and Hidetoshi reacting to their female S/O going into a blind rage and beating the person who’s bullying her sister?

Hello, thank you so much! :) This request was WILD lol, I had a lot of fun writing it.

cw: mentions of violence, bullying and guns

Akihiro Sanada

• He is totally surprised at first.

• "Are you sure you'd want to do this y/n?"

• After you convince him, he'd offer to help you. He is a bit dissapointed when you say no, but he still believes that you can do it on your own.

• Once you give him a gun to make sure nobody comes inside of the room, he'll make it his mission to ensure your 'privacy'.

• Still Akihiko would be worried for you and would try to figure out if you're alright by listening through the door and peaking through the key hole. Sometimes he even considers barging in to ensure you're okay.

• When you're done beating up your sister's bully, he'd bombard you with questions on if you're alright and what happened to the bully.

• Akihiko is impressed by your strength, he didn't know you were that strong and were be capable of such a thing.

• Once you two left, he'd try to see if you recieved any injuries. He's very glad that nothing serious happened to you.

• After this he'd ask you to train with him from now on.

Mitsuru Kirijo

• "Fighting violence with violence is not the answer y/n."

• She would be very hesitant to let you seek revenge. What if something happened to you? She'd never forgive herself.

• Eventually she realizes that you can't be stopped. When Mitsuru goes outside with the gun to make sure nobody else enters, she'll use her persona to watch over you during the fight.

• It is extremely hard for her to not step in mid-fight, especially when your sister's bully gets the upper hand over you. When the fight end she's relieved and enters immediately before you can go out yourself.

• She'll be tired from all the worrying on top of using her persona out of Tartarus, but she's glad that you're alright.

• "Next time you or someone else you love has issues with somebody, please tell me sooner. I can have a bodyguard take care of it."

• Mitsuru will have the both of you driven back home to the Iwatodai Dormitory. She'd want to spend the rest of the day together.

Hidetoshi Odagiri

(I couldn't find a gif of him 😔)

• On the one hand he believes that the bullies deserve getting a taste of their own medicine, on the other hand he doesn't believe that you should be the one to do it.

• You're his girlfriend, not some brute. He'd try to convince you to find someone else to do it for you.

• When you don't back down he eventually agrees to it.

• "Fine... Just make sure that they will not be able hurt you too."

• Hidetoshi is kind of thrilled about this, but he can't shake off his worry for you. When you give him a gun to make sure no one disturbs your fight, he will be right outside infront of the door like a guard.

• The longer the fight gets, the more nervous he becomes. What if you lost? He's also a bit worried about what would happen to himself.

• Once you come out without any big injuries, he becomes really excited but tries to play it cool. Hidetoshi would want to leave the scene quickly though, so neither of you get into trouble.

• He'd act like nothing ever happened but secretly he'd admire you even more than before for what you have done.

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #akihiko sanada #p3 akihiko #mitsuru kirijo #p3 mitsuru #hidetoshi odagiri #p3 hidetoshi #headcanons #x reader #x female reader #cw violence #request

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baby-xemnas · 8 months

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love reading ur thoughts always but just also thinking about bepo being somewhat attractive to others in their teenage years/some Other party expressing interest in bepo and law would have lost his entire shit. a miracle he didn't face sth like that, but the jealous rage for sure wouldve been so ugly...fierce and drastic realisation of how much he wants bepo and also how possessive he is. bepo is too special.

THANK YOUUUUUUUU and thank you for giving me more food to ramble about haha ♥♥

OH GOD YEAH ABSOLUTELY there have to have been an INCIDENT or two of that. law wouldve gone through a lot of emotions in that moment, especially when it happened for the first time

(id imagine the mob chara would presume that bepo is gonna be a good aggressive fuck lol, just judging by the looks. oh they couldnt be more wrong)

>first glance law assuming someone is talking to bepo because they are being either quirky racist (wow a walking talking bear!!) or actually negative sort of interest - that they all experienced and are kind of expecting at that point (expecting it so they can jump to bepo's aid and comfort him)

>seeing that its NOT. THAT. but instead someone standing uncomfortably close clearly trying to flirt, seeing so much discomfort on bepo's face - who in turn wouldnt be a crybaby in the face of a stranger no, he is stronger than that now! but he would be surprised and not really know how to handle THIS situation...bepo never got this kind of attention before he has no idea how to handle it. hes trying to answer semi-politely because he isnt aware that he needs to be very curt and direct..he feels SO strange hes just standing there taking unwanted sexual advances LOL

honestly be it a woman or a gay man i would picture law would act the same - the few words he would spare them before dragging bepo away would be laced with SO much venom and contempt, it would scare the shit out of bepo who's just standing there. technically being saved so he is in no way is the target of captain's anger (even tho bepo would think in those seconds that law is mad at him too, he would feel bad that he ended up in that situation even tho its not his fault at all. whatever discomfort he felt previously than fear of upsetting law, now THAT actually makes him want to cry a little)

law wants to take his hand but thinks that this person doesnt deserve to see how important bepo is to him... so he says that they are going back and walks next to bepo who is more shaken by seeing law's reaction than he is by the initial incident he thanks law the moment they go outside and its quiet and him saying "thank you captain" somehow sounds too formal to law's ears. somehow this "captain" sounds like his actual rank and not the usual cute way bepo calls him like its a nickname or a familial title.

its so jarring to hear bepo sound like a detached subordinate and not his treasured best friend, law has to look up at bepo who ofc is just looking at the ground in front of himself as he walks. law's mind draws a blank for a few long moments because he still needs a little time to calm down. he havent processed his own emotions yet it happened too fast. Yes of course he was reacting to that nobody making bepo uncomfortable of course. But...he the possibility that someone who is NOT HIM could be intimate with bepo shot through him like a lightning.

whole time law is having his crisis bepo is thinking about how he should apologize without making law even more angry..he is so scared to break the silence. poor thing. he forgot all about that mob chara thats lightyears away, its all law now

law would get his attention by calling his name and it suddenly feels so awkward...its so cringe but he asks if bepo wants to talk about it - curses himself that he isnt penguin and shachi who would laugh a situation like this off, they are much better than him at handling these things

bepo didnt hear the question he immediately goes IM SORRY CAPTAIN and law is surprised what on earth are you sorry for bepo: you...um. well you had to come in and save me so im sorry for causing you trouble law:...............its not troublesome for me to help you so dont apologize.. (and he says it kind of in a soft unsure tone because??? what the hell....bepo its not about him.ffs)

and bepo feels so relieved because he was holding on that tension for so much of their walk not knowing what law is thinking about (he was thinkin about eating you whole, boy) that he smiles and it snaps the rubber band of tension law was holding onto himself and he gets so full of affection for bepo it kind of goes to his head and all the way south making him horny...its somehow ended up being a romantic scene that he wants to take him apart now...reaffirming to bepo that nobody would ever be better than him. law was challenged he has to prove himself now.....

law knowing but now staring straight in the face to the fact that bepo is SO special and so important. noone has the RIGHT to know because they could never understand JUST HOW SPECIAL AND VALUABLE HE IS

#anonymous #lawbepo #btw im so sorry if these are hard to read cuz i use so little punctuation

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bandofchimeras · 3 months

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Genuinely what is the fucking point to this evil bullshit??? psychological warfare?

Life can be so rich and beautiful but people chose to fill it with violence and terror and create literal hell for WHAT. What the actual fuck. There's no response that makes sense to this kind of sickness. Dragging us all into a bloody mess we don't support. For WHAT. for WHO. WHAT DO YOU EVEN FUCKING WANT? besides death and death and death and death and death and death until there's no one left but you....will you be "safe" then? When nothing is left of the world but ashes and dry soil and AI drones attacking anything that shows a sign of life?

Every time I think about elected officials my heart is filled with wasps and poison. I don't want to become a weapon but how else do we stop this?????

It still wouldn't bring back a single life but maybe it would bind the wound they've created in the world. This black hole they've sucked us all into. Sacred rage.

Nobody fucking deserves this, on the entire face of the earth, deserving things is a lie anyways but to say this is something anyone could deserve crushes my mind.

I do hope the skins of the oppressors who sit in thrones of power bursts and boils with the shame and pain of every child they've murdered. May their legs rot and their stomach twist into unfathomable knots may they dissolve into ash and their bones turn to rods of pain.

My therapist tried to get me "get in tune with my body" today but the emotion was so huge it couldn't stay in my body, became like bony wings breaking out of my back spreading out. If I could right now I would become a monster and use my talons to shred tanks and swallow bombs until they killed me.

Been thinking about that since reading Hell Followed With Us. At first I didn't fully understand why the protagonist didn't look for a cure and surrendered to becoming Seraph. Now I get it. There is no going back. There is no cure. There is only willingness to put your own body on the line to make it fucking stop.

I hate that. I hate that this is the world children get. That these are our choices.

#hell followed with us #body horror #tbh i cant fucking deal with my roommate complaining about food scraps in the sink or liks #anything petty rn #i wish i could transform into anything besides rhis weak sick body #long post #genocide #spoilers #to become a monster sometimes is the only just choice

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yall-hate-kids-tourney · 26 days

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Loser Finals: Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls) vs. Amane Momose (MILGRAM)

It's rematch time!

Propaganda below the cut

Mabel Pines (12):

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girl gets so much flack for being... immature and kind of selfish at age 12? like she had whole video essays made on why she is a horrible person who deserves punishment. god forbid girls be silly

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!!! Spoilers for Gravity Falls last 5 episodes !!!

So, a few episodes later, that bubble she's in is revealed to be a world of fantasy that she controls, and that she didn't want to leave that world, as she was scared of growing up etc.

Amane Momose (12):

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So the audience replicates Amane’s abusers and repeats the cycle of abuse and that’s pretty shitty but it isn’t exactly “Fuck Em Kids” level.

And then Trial 2 happened. Cause Amane is bitter and angry and horrifically traumatized so she acts aggressive and hostile. Especially towards another prisoner.

Now, again, everyone here is a fucking murderer (of atleast could be constructed as one) These people being able to Harm is a core concept of this series.

In short: In a series full of Murderers I’m honestly a bit pissed that the 12 year old abuse victim is the one who’s treated like the guy from American Pyscho.

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#yall hate kids tourney #loser finals #gravity falls #mabel pines #milgram #milgram project #amane momose #momose amane #cw child abuse #cw cults #cw torture #cw psychological torture #cw animal death

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grokebaby · 5 months

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One night, Siru isn't quite feeling it. This one night she didn't sleep well enough, before Pesticinger summoned her from her home, flew her out to the distant woods, and had her vivisect a bird. She was going along with it - what else would she do.

But really.

She does these gross out rituals for it. She finds and brings her items. She trains her voice sore during their little band practice.

I know I got into this basically out of boredom and an inescapable need to numb the pain - Siru thinks. But really, what's in it for me. What is the follower of the plague supposed to get from this.

"When are you giving me something?" she asks, bluntly. The bird perks, tilting her head stupidly. "What am I doing this all For? What should I be getting out of this? What are you supposed to give me in return?" Siru elaborates, giving Pesticinger a bunch more words than the first sentence. It coos thoughtfully, not really saying much.

The knife Siru always uses is still in her hand.

Her black patterns start spreading, turning her a night-dark color, as a pulse of rage flows through her. She yells at Pesticinger. She curses out her life. It's alot of anger and not alot of blame that Pesticinger really deserves. Siru knows this, but fuck if she isn't good at keeping everything in until she explodes at her loved ones.

Not counting the plague as a loved one, of course, but the point still stands. The bird tries to give her words in return for hers - Siru rarely talks this much at once! Pesticinger feels it fair to give her many words in exchange. But Siru doesn't listen to it, for once. Now she's the one talking.

Unfortunately so, because whenever she says too much, she ends up regretting alot of it. That's why she doesn't talk much. She either says bad things, or worthless things.

Siru growls, and tosses the knife at Pesticinger, scaring it off. The plague takes flight, and in a heavy gust of air, she disappears into the night.

.. Great. Another interpersonal relationship wasted. She already feels guilty.

Is she really mad at Pesticinger, or is she just tired? Does she really want something out of the plague, or does she just wish she was better. Wish she didn't need the company of a monster. Wish she felt like remotely good company to said monster.

She walks home. It's very early when she gets there, and her mother is leaving for work. She's worried, and Siru says nothing to her. Nan dutifully helps her to bed. Knowing her concerns won't be answered. Siru hates herself for it. But she'd ruin even more things by telling her mother everything.

I can't believe it - she thinks. Did I really scare off A Plague? What kind of monster must I be?

Well. At least I won't have to spend nights up doing horrors anymore..

She sleeps until the next midnight.

She wakes up abruptly to the sound of something on her window. She jolts up, praying to the mistress her mom doesn't hear it. She follows the sound outside, all the way to the edges of the village. Pesticinger stands there with a bag in her beak. Siru is.. A bit shocked, to see her again.

"Listen, I'm.. I'm sorry, I just.. I feel like nobody really.. Nevermind.." Siru starts, but draws back. Pesticinger drops the bag, and with vigorous head bobs, urges her to speak more. "I listen, yes! I'm listening. Listening now!" she sings, taking a few hops towards Siru. She's.. Taken aback by this. "You feel like nobody listens to you? Do they only take never give? Is that why you're angered like this? You feel so worthless I know, this is what you said to me, but now you should say more. Say say! I listen. I don't hear you speak much. Speak more!" it continues, it's tone urgent and cautious - and maybe, just maybe.. Apologetic?

"What's.. In that bag?" Siru asks, instead.

Pesticinger blinks. "For you! Bag for you! It's givings to you, things for you, for you!" it repeats and blabbers, nudging the bag towards Siru with it's beak vigorously. It jostles to her feet, and Siru.. Still, taken aback, picks it up.

She looks inside, firstly finding the knife she threw earlier - realizing she left it there in the woods. She looks more, finding scarves. They're of fancy material and knit, with patterns, and tussles on some of them.

Oh.. Because she knows I.. Wear head scarfs.

She finds more. There's bones unclear in origin. There's instruments. Mostly flutes and other carriables. There's claws and talons. More sharp weapons. She can easily extrapolate why Pesticinger, a little bird fond of pillaging humans, would pick all these out for her.

Except...

The tie.

"Is this.. Like.. For me to wear? Dressing business casual?" Siru asks the plague. Really, it doesn't look like anything the humans from this realm would wear. It looks.. Futuristic to her. It's beyond fancy too, and made with materials she doesn't immediately recognise her villagers to have.

"If you want, you can wear it! Very stylish, Siru always stylish!" Pesticinger currs in flatteration. But it's not an explanation.

"Where.. Did you get this? Did it.. Belong to someone?"

"Sparrow's other chickling!"

Siru freezes.

"You.. Took this from.. Lassi?"

Pesticinger nods.

#Pesticinger Tuholaulaja #Siru #Demon oc #My ocs #My writings #In which we really get a glimpse into the nasty of how Siru is feeling to be drawn to Pesticingers company #I just kinda. Made this. Abruptly. Without too much planning or refining #I hope you find it insightful #Ykno kinda just developing their relationship more

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