#just idk. my brains such a fucking mess i just need to calm down and ill be all good
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soooooo tired of constantly going crazy trying to figure out things i am too dumb to understand. anyone wants to ask about midground or cafes or whatever or anything. instead
#just atp doing anything to not let myself get back into like. the sh and all that. the bitemarks are still very visible and i keep getting#upset everytime i look at them#sorry if this is like very guilt-trippy i dont mean it like that. i know few people are online rn anyway and its ok ill find a way to keep#myself busy anyway its not that big of a deal in the end#just idk. my brains such a fucking mess i just need to calm down and ill be all good#pogaduchy
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thinking about how mean!bf sirius would have a hugeee corruption kink, he just wants to ruin your mind yk
idk maybe its just me
i think mean or not, it is definite that sirius black has a corruption kink and it unquestionably couples with his possessive nature.
just imagine mean bf ! sirius meeting you for the first time. you’re a timid, but undoubtedly kind individual who is meek next to him—fully aware of sirius’ notoriety in his personality and habits. he becomes so awestruck, he has nothing to respond to your unassuming questions aside from the occasional nod or gentle murmur.
he displays a calm, relatively friendly aura until the pair of you begin to become acquainted with each other and ultimately, begin dating. it is only then, that the mean teasing and snickers begin, and his heart bursts with joy at the sound of your bashful whines and protests every time he playfully slaps your ass or tugs your skirt, laughing and pulling you close to him, muttering how his actions are all in good fun and that he’d never let anything actually hurt you.
‘so bloody sensitive. y’know i’d rather die than let someone lay a hand on you, dummy.’
and of course, sirius isn’t stupid. he’s been having lewd, perverted thoughts about you since the day he met you. in fact, it was only the same night that sirius cast a silencing charm around his bed to hide the sinful sounds of him grunting as he fisted his cock, thoughts about bending you over the classroom desk polluting his already depraved mind.
since you’ve started dating, he reckons it’s time to manifest these fantasies into life, especially after noticing how your meek gaze has begun to linger on his broad chest and widen at the sight of his bulging crotch. his inner self beams with joy and crude anticipation every time he feels you pawing at his thighs, looking up at him in despair as if you’re unsure of what you really want or why the throbbing ache in between your thighs is only getting worse.
i think mean bf ! sirius would definitely become dizzy at the sight of you on your knees, hands gripping his muscular thighs, begging him to let you suck his cock or to fill your cunt up. usually he was the one doing the begging, but here you were, pliant, obedient, and desperate for his every touch. he genuinely has to sit down and stare at you while also controlling the immoral urge of forcing his cock down your throat, watching how your eyes widen and become teary as your throat contracts and chokes around his pulsating cock.
he genuinely cannot control himself once he sees you fully submit to him, begging him to give you the exact things you were too shy about even insinuating merely a month ago. it makes him feel so accomplished knowing that he was the one that made your brain all cloudy and fuzzy—that he was the one who got your cunt hooked on the feeling of his relentless, unforgiving cock.
‘sirius—my fingers—they’re not good enough—need your cock in me—jus’ want you to ruin ‘n abuse me—please da—’ as soon as you become close to uttering the last word, he’s already lifted up your skirt and forced his cock inside your aching pussy anyways, groaning into your mouth and fucking you ten times harder than he would have any other day.
‘slut—you’ve become a little slut—oh, fuck—‘n who’s are you, huh?’
it becomes the first time that sirius loses all sense of reason and caution as it has become evident to him that he’s irreversibly corrupted you into becoming just as disgusting and perverted as him.
‘nah, not sirius’, honey, you're daddy’s, yeah?’
‘gross fuckin’ bitch loves that, huh, puppy? you like it when daddy forces himself inside you like that, hm?’
‘hogwarts newest slut, yeah? but only mine, isn’t that right? only i get to ruin—fuck—this whorish cunt—mmm,’
sirius is so mean, he doesn’t even tell you when he’s about to cum :( he makes you cum and afterward, you’re a fucked out mess because he just doesn’t stop. your eyebrows begin to furrow and you can only manage to mumble a quiet ‘sirius?’ before he groans into your neck, breath all hot and heavy, and pumps you full of his hot, sticky cum. all you can do is whine and writhe beneath him as he pushes your knees to your chest and uses your cunt to drain his massive cock.
all the while, he’s reveling in the realization that he has just cummed inside you and that if spells and birth control were forgotten, it would be no surprise if you fell pregnant with the copious amounts of cum pumped inside your spent hole.
‘my dirty girl likes when daddy breeds her, doesn’t she? oh, don’t shake your head, pup, i know you like it—can feel you clench—god—around me right now.’
sirius gets so turned on when you confess that you can’t make yourself cum without him ever since the two of you started having sex. the image of you crying out in frustration at the feeling of your own neediness and the dull throbbing in between your sore thighs—incapable of doing anything without his guidance—makes his cock harden far quicker than it should have.
‘poor thing. my dumb girl can’t do anything without me, can she? your small fingers just aren’t as daddy, hm?’ paired with a faux, mocking frown because sirius black is an asshole that is very visibly ecstatic that you’ll always have to come to him to find a release.
and nothing fuels his ego more than having you beg him to stuff you full of his cum before class begins. he loses his mind seeing the effects of ruining your perfect, angelic interior. his once smart, goody-two-shoes, good-girl has become a conniving slut, her own cunt betraying any logic or rational thinking within her mind :( seeing his shy, perfect-attendance girlfriend begging him to skip class with her to fuck in a dingy broom closet is all it takes for him to bust right then and there.
#sirius black smut#sirius black x reader#sirius black fluff#sirius black imagine#sirius black blurb#sirius black headcanon#sirius black angst#sirius smut#sirius x reader#sirius fluff#sirius imagine#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#poly!wolfstar#poly!marauders#poly!wolfstar smut#harry potter smut#harry potter x reader#harry potter imagine#harry potter x y/n#harry potter x you#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fic#harry potter fluff#harry potter blurb#harry potter fanfic#sirius black fanfiction
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Customer Service
Paring: Chris Evans x Interior Designer Reader
Word count: around 3K
Summary: Chris needs you to complete what is missing in his bedroom decor.
Warnings: 18+ Absolutely MINORS DNI. RPF, SMUTTY SMUT, ANGST. Not Beta’d. Pining, employer/employee relationship, up skirting (w/consent?), white panty kink, fingering, oral sex (f receiving) squirting, graphic mirror sex, p in v, sex standing up, creampie, good girl kink, Dom Chris if you squint, implied blow job. Unprotected sex. (Wrap if you tap).
Author’s note: I guess maybe I’m back? Idk. It’s been a while. Let me know what you think.
Notice: I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.
DO NOT COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK
“Did you just ask me if I… Wanna do you in your bedroom?”
Your eyes were wide and you’d nearly choked on your drink, not believing what he’d just asked you.
Chris guffawed loudly, causing everyone to either look over or shake their heads, used to his expressions of mirth.
“Wow. Freudian slip much?”
“Fuck you, Chris.”
You rolled your eyes as you took another gulp, a little bit mortified.
“Hmmmm. There it goes again.”
He grabbed your hand as you walked away, pulling you back to where you were. You were heated and Chris seemed to be enjoying it. He always teased you every time you were around.
“Calm down, Gorgeous, I’m just messing with you. What I meant was, do you want to redecorate my bedroom? You did a great job in here.”
He indicated your mutual friend's basement, which you’d redesigned the past summer into a game/media/entertaining space. You looked around slowly, taking in every detail to which you’d paid close attention.
Chris always found a reason to talk to you at your friend’s get togethers, eternally flirty, but you did not take it seriously. Although you were attracted to him, it was never the right time. Either you were taken, or the rumors were that he was. And anyway, it was just harmless fun. No way he’d be interested in you.
“Gorgeous.”
As your eyes came back to Chris, he was looking at you, and not the decor. He cleared his throat and took another drink, eyes still on you.
“When I look around my bedroom, there just seems to be something missing. And so that leads me to you.”
You just stared at him, not wanting to respond this time. Chris took it as reticence.
“Come on. As a favor to me? Pwease?”
Chris pouted and poked out his ruby red bottom lip. You laughed at him.
“You’re just a great big brat, aren’t you?”
You sighed as he grinned knowingly.
”Ok. But it’s not a favor. It’s business. And I’m not cheap.”
Chris raised his eyebrow at you.
“Nothing that is worth having ever is.”
—-
Taking this gig seriously tested your willpower. During the frequent meetings in his bedroom, you’d had to hold yourself back from tackling him onto the huge bed and fucking his brains out.
But that wasn’t professional.
So you’d remained strong and took in the details of this room, which only had a huge bed and stark white decor. He was right. It needed some color.
You and he began the hunt all over New England for the perfect pieces to complete the look of his most intimate space, Chris wanting to use the new 4x4 pickup truck he’d bought soon after you were hired. Since he was between projects, you two spent a lot of time together, discussing design, among other things. He was a very involved client.
And a perfect gentleman.
Until one crisp fall weekend, when everything changed.
Early that morning, Chris pulled up to your house to pick you up, not opening the door for you as he usually did when you climbed up into the truck.
“‘Lo. Gorgeous. You good?”
Chris drawling his nickname for you in that Boston accent behind the wheel of a pickup truck was the subject of many of your fantasies. But you couldn’t let him catch you slipping.
His eyes skimmed up and down your body as you smoothed your dress down and settled in to put on your seatbelt. You looked at him as he stared at you.
“Good morning, Chris. I am. Are you?”
You crossed your legs, showcasing your legs and cowboy boots under your short corduroy dress. Chris’ eyes darkened and his jaw clenched and he moved toward you, then seemed to think better of it as he settled back into his seat.
“Just peachy.”
You wondered what his deal was, but you pushed down your feelings and got out your phone, checking your list of antique shops. After all, this was business. You could feel his eyes on you as he pulled out of your driveway and got on the road.
It was a beautiful drive, but there was a new, more dangerous tension between you as the morning progressed. and you felt that something was going to snap any minute. Chris was a man of few words today, responding to you with grunts and nods. There was something going on that you couldn’t name. It put you on edge.
The morning was tense, and as you entered the fourth shop before you circled back for lunch, Chris hung back, looking for a brass fireplace tool set as you searched for a wardrobe. You didn’t know it, but he was also checking for you as his eyes followed you throughout the store.
You almost stumbled over the cause of your undoing. Chris was pure sex on legs in jeans and a flannel shirt, signature baseball cap on over his hair which was newly buzzed and a scruff of a beard growing back in. You were too distracted by thoughts of him to notice his reaction to you as you walked through the old shop, which was filled to the brim with treasures.
Chris was watching your legs in the cowboy boots when you backed up to the object in question as you sized up a large piece of furniture.
“Ay, yo!”
You and the woman with gray in her hair looked up to see Chris give you a nod, full of arrogance and ownership. You were taken aback from across the shop as the owner smirked and looked back down to her ledger as Chris strode over to you, in full frat boy mode. His broad shoulders, slim hips and long legs made you feel some kind of way and you backed up further as he approached.
Chris took in your wide eyes and moved you with just his proximity, hands in his pockets as he looked down at you like some asshole at a college party. God, you hated how your body responded to him. But the way he made you feel was like nothing else in the world. Maybe you would say something when the job was done.
Maybe not.
Chris reached out to touch your arm and you stopped retreating, staring up into those clear blues shaded by the bill of his baseball cap as he smirked down at you. He looked into your eyes for a few seconds, and then down to your side and back up at you, eyes shining.
Curious, you looked down and saw a small oval shaped end table, it’s top a mirror. It came up to your mid thigh and gave Chris a perfect view up your dress.
You shook your head at him, heart beating a mile a minute, but you didn’t move. Chris stared you down and spoke in a low tone which only you two could hear.
“I have to have that.”
He nodded down to the table, which reflected your ass back up to you both as you gazed down on it.
“You want it in your bedroom?”
Your voice was deep with desire as you asked the question. You were so close now, and looking up at him and his lips. You wondered how they would feel on your body.
“Want it. Need it. Bad.”
The way his voice broke a little bit was everything. There was no mistaking this conversation. You moaned a little yourself and cleared your throat.
“What are you going to do with it?”
The sexual tension was so high, you needed to climb over it and just do it.
Chris’s long lashes fanned his cheek as he looked down again and back up into your eyes.
“I’ll need to show you. In my bedroom. I imagine it will look good. Really good.”
Your breath hitched at the possibilities. You weren’t misreading any meaning this time.
“Oh?”
“Yes. Can you see the possibilities? Judging from what I see, I think you’re right there with me.”
You looked down to see that the vision of your soaked panties was plainly visible in the mirrored table top. There was no denying it. And you didn’t want to any more.
“You should get it.”
Chris gave a sexy side smile at your hoarse whisper.
“Oh. I intend to.”
Chris leaned down, his hand faintly brushing your thigh when he reached for the table. He smirked as he turned and headed toward the register.
You were too flustered to be able to breathe in the old store, so you walked out into the crisp fall air to catch your breath. You did not believe this was happening, and had almost convinced yourself that it hadn’t by the time Chris stalked out of the store, the table in hand. You climbed back into the truck as he put it in the back with the rest of the morning’s purchases. You tried in vain to stop thinking throughout the 20 minute drive.
When you arrived at his home, you jumped out of the truck, ready to call an Uber to take you home as he called to you from his door.
“Y/N.”
He nodded his head at you and you obeyed, following him into the house. You stopped in the living room, but was propelled forward as he jerked his head into his bedroom. You slowly moved forward, walking toward him and the table which he had put down near him in front of the bed.
“L-l-looks good.”
You were shook. You didn’t think you’d escape his bedroom untouched this time. And you didn’t think you wanted to.
“C’mere.”
Chris reached for your hand and you moved to give it to him. You two stared each other down, and then started to speak. At the same time.
“Chris,--”
“Y/N, am I–”
You both stopped and chuckled.
“You’re right–”
“Cause I gotta tell ya-”
You stopped again, and Chris took off his hat, running his fingers through his hair. You just had to feel it between your fingers, and as you moved, he reached for you too, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you to him. You came together like a pair of magnets, unable to resist each other any longer.
Your first kiss was heady, teeth and tongue and lips acting out stored-up need. He kissed you until you couldn’t breathe. Then, he leaned his forehead against yours.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”
“Same. But I wasn’t sure you liked me like that.”
Chris shook his head and chuckled.
“For a smart woman, you can be pretty clueless sometimes. Everyone knows how I feel about you.”
You shrugged your shoulders.
“No one told me.”
Chris was looking at your lips.
“You’re right. I should have. Y/N, L/N. I like you. I like you a lot.”
He kissed you again and pulled back.
“And like I said. I want you. I’ve been wondering what was under that dress all day, hoping it was nothing.”
“Oh really?”
Chris pulled you flush against him, and turned you around. You could feel the steel rod in his pants, and see him looking down. The table was right behind you.
“Yes. But what I saw in this table was so much better.”
Chris looked down again.
“White cotton panties. Do you know what that does to me?”
“No.” You smiled innocently. “What?”
You were enjoying the knowledge that you affected him.
“I had a dream about you this morning. White cotton panties against your beautiful skin. Almost busted a nut in my sleep like a fucking teenager.”
Chris was kissing your neck now, and your hands rubbed the erection inside his jeans.
“Woke up with the biggest hard on.”
You moaned.
“For me?”
“Yeah. for you. Do you want it?”
Chris pressed his crotch into your palm. You tried to grasp it in vain over his clothes. Then you reached for his button.
“Fuck yeah.”
You got his pants open and were able to feel the fullness of his member through his underwear. You licked your lips not wanting to split your lip on him, but wanting to try. He was looking down again.
“I know you’re wet, Gorgeous. Did I do that?”
Chris edged away from you and unbuttoned his flannel, threw it on the floor and then took off his t-shirt. How dare he ask that as he stood shirtless in front of you.
“You make me wet whenever you’re around, especially in this room.”
He moved toward you again, nodding.
“I get it. Usually I stroke one out before we meet. To keep my hands off you.”
You clenched as he pulled up your dress and pulled your panties tight between your folds. The friction was good, but somehow not enough. You wanted more.
“But this morning, I just let it ride. ‘S why I’m so wild right now. Tired of holding back..”
“Oh Chris…”
“Tell me no right now. And I will be able to stop. If not….”
He literally growled into your ear. His hands were at your hips now and going north, moving your dress up your body. You arched into him.
“Don’t stop Chris.”
His face changed and his hands stripped your clothes off.
You were wearing a white lace camisole, and your nipples were clearly hard beneath it.
“So fucking gorgeous,” he said, as he pulled it up over your head.
He grabbed you and his mouth descended down your body, stopping to worship and torture your nipples. One hand slipped inside your panties and he teased your slit, rubbing your wetness around them. You tried not to press your against his hand, but you were too wanton.
“I want to suck your dick, Chris.”
He moaned as you stroked his cock, running your thumb across his sticky wet tip. He shuddered.
“God I want that too, Gorgeous. Wanna see you try to take it all.”
His free fingers brushed your lips as his other hand teased inside your sopping hole.
“But first I’m going to taste you. Then I’m going to fuck you. And you will watch me do it.”
Before you knew it, your back was on the bed and Chris was on his knees in front of you, holding your legs open and staring at your pussy. Those eyes. Those lashes. Those lips as he licked them.
“Gorgeous.” He looked up at you. “Can I?”
You leaned up on your elbows, needing to see this.
“Please,” you begged, the anticipation getting to be too much.
Chris pushed your thighs wider to accommodate his shoulders and leaned in, hot breath fanning your lower lips as his mouth got near. He moved his hands close and pulled your pussy lips apart, the sound of your slick releasing as he separated you deliciously pornographic. He licked up and down your slit, and leaned back, huffing with indignation.
“Shit this is delicious.”
He tasted you again.
“You can’t be this perfect.”
And again.
“Holy shit.”
And then he immersed his face fully into your cunt, lickiing, swiping, sucking with his lips and tongue. You grabbed his hair and tugged, causing him to moan into your already-wrecked hole.
“Oh god, Chris….”
He pulled back, smacking his lips.
“That’s right. Give it to me.”
He lifted his hand, rotating his palm up, and slid his middle finger into you.
“So fucking tight. This is just one finger. Gotta loosen up, Gorgeous. Eyes on me.”
He winked and started to eat you out again, locking eyes with you. His tongue went to town, flicking your sensitive nub.
“Pinch those nipples for me, Gorgeous. Hard. Like a good girl.”
He spoke into your cunt and he looked down to watch you clench desperately around his digit. That’s when he slipped another in and started finger fucking you. Grinning, he leaned down again and took your clit between his teeth as he watched your fingers pinch and pull your breasts.
“Goo gul.” Good girl.
He spoke through your pussy, the vibrations of his voice coursing through you and causing the tight coil in your belly to snap and sending your release gushing into his face. He gladly took everything you gave him, lapping you up and groaning in gratitude. When your pulses slowed, he stood up and wiped his face with his t-shirt.
You stared at the ceiling, embarrassed that you came that hard, and all over him. Your cheeks were warm and you wouldn’t look his way.
“Hey.”
Chris was grabbing your hand. And bringing you upright, tilting your head up for a kiss. His eyes were full of admiration.
“I think I’m addicted to that shit. We’re going to have to do that again.”
He smiled down at you, and you smiled back as he walked you backwards to the table.
“But first, I gotta see this.”
Chris gently kicked your legs apart and positioned the table between them.
“Wanna see myself balls deep in your pretty little pussy from this angle, Gorgeous.”
He walked behind you, trailing his hand on your torso as he nestled himself against your back.
“Now watch closely.”
You looked down and gasped. It was so graphic, and so fucking sexy. Chris was pumping his cock and swiping it between your wet folds, causing sparks of sensation to radiate through your body. Looking at it from this perspective was a unique experience.
“So fucking hot.”
Chris’s deep voice in your ear and the drops of your arousal on the mirror caused you to try and chase his cock for relief, but he just held your hip fast with his hand to keep you still.
“Keep being my good girl, Gorgeous. Be patient.”
After listening to you keen in his ear as he leaned down to kiss your shoulder, he couldn’t hold back any longer.
You moaned as you watched his huge cock breach your tiny hole from below. Your pussy started squeezing round him as he slowly stuffed himself inside you. Chris’s hands were on your hips holding you down from take off as he thrust his pelvis. You groaned and threw your head back against his shoulder, not able to bear the image.
“Watch.”
Chris’s tone was laced with a little bit of danger. You clenched and he moaned, then smirked at your tell. He doubled down on the dom.
“Keep those fucking eyes open.”
You looked down and it took your breath away. You had the perfect view of Chris’s cock sleeking in and out of your cunt, balls tight against his unit.
“Now circle that clit. Lemme see that pretty little manicure help make you… “
You’d obeyed Chris immediately, and the vision of your chocolate manicured fingers parting your lips and rotating around your clit as his cock invading your tight channel was extremely erotic.
Chris looked down and saw his cock destroying you. He felt you beginning to spasm around him. He heard your sopping wet cunt and your sexy moans. He couldn’t take it.
“Shit that looks so, feels so, sounds so fucking good…”
“Oohhh!”
You were near the edge. He sucked a hickey onto your neck as he lifted you off the ground with his thrusts. He hooked your leg over his elbow to help gain deeper access.
“Holy shit, taking me so fucking well. Gorgeous, look at it.”
“I can’t Chris, I… shit, holyyyyy, I’m gonna cum again. All over you, shittttt.”
Chris moved you slightly away from the mirror, but did not stop fucking you. He husked into your ear.
“Give it to me. Give it all to me and I’ll give it all to you. Gonna stuff this little pussy so full of my cum…”
“Ahhhh ahhh ah ahhhh!”
You came, body shuddering as Chris pounded into you. You felt the warm spurt of his cum hit your walls and you released as promised.
You opened your eyes and you were on the floor, curled up in Chris’s arms as he sat on the rug at the foot of his bed. His hand was stroking your spine and you felt safe and warm. But anxious. You looked up at him.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe we did that.”
Chris kissed your nose.
“I can. Been dreaming of it for a long time. A couple of years. Since we first met.”
You were flabbergasted.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It never seemed to be the right time. But we’re here now.”
You smiled wide.
“Yeah. And I’m glad.”
Chris gave you a tender kiss and held you tighter. Then he got up and lifted you with him.
“Time to shower and finish this bedroom.”
You tried to pull him toward the bathroom. But he didn’t budge.
“Or you can give me that blowjob you promised.”
You looked down to see Chris at half staff already.
“We’ve got time. Bedroom seems complete now anyway.”
That lopsided smile did something to your heart. You sank down on your knees.
“The customer is always right.”
Read the next part: One Per Customer
Let me know if it was good for you. Like, reblog, comment please! 🧡
#dj’s not quite kinktober#not quite kinktober#Chris Evans#chris evans smut#chris evans imagine#chris evans x female reader#chris evans x black reader#chris evans x reader#chris evans x you#chris Evans x interior designer reader#chris evans fan fiction#chris evans rpf#buzzcut chris#not quite kinktober ‘22#Kinktober
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hi i have a funny roommate idea!
martial artist!reader brings a lot of potentially comedic scenarios to mind tee hee
-reader coming home covered in bruises and kaveh FREAKS the fuck out while alhaitham has vivid visions of how to best ruin someone's life
-a friend from their class/team/idk whatever sees them in public and starts a friendly sparring session out of nowhere (my instructor used to tell us that if he saw us in public he would put us in a chokehold and see if the training kicks in, lol)
-them inviting a friend over and one or more of the boys walks in on someone being pinned
-them offering to teach one of the boys some moves and the other walks in on someone being pinned
-hey why do you have so many weapons in your closet?
-some npc harrasses reader and they get to see the the poor soul either get kicked into a wall or thrown down so hard it realigns their spine
-a little bit of friendly roughhousing aND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO STRONG???
-and my favorite trope, doesn't even have to be martial artist reader: they grab onto one of the boys in their sleep and good luck, bc reader is a bear trap. you're staying here until they wake up.
-oh, how can i forget, the classic "oh my god i've never seen them in revealing clothing and they are ?!?!??"
-crushing a watermelon between their thighs also
[-> Roommate AU brainrots]
omg this is too funny 😂😭
Kaveh would totally be hysteric when you come home with bruises and Alhaitham would just watch the entire thing and listens in. 100% thinking about who he needs to murder and already trying to formulate a plan lol!
And if someone attacked you in public like that Kaveh would freak the fuck out, probably just throwing Mehrak in the way. And Alhaitham would already summon his sword and some light mirrors - you'd probably have to calm him down and tell him it's okay. Or you just kick ass and indirectly tell them that they don't need to protect you with that 😂
Being pinned by your training partner and they think they walk into a compromising situation and then noping out of the room. Kaveh would 100% ask you about who that was later though. Alhaitham would try to find out on his own through connections.
The friendly roughhousing makes me think of Alhaitham jokingly putting you in a chokehold after you've been teasing him all day. Fast forward to him getting flung over your shoulder and on the carpet in the blink of an eye. You can't stop saying sorry while he lies on the floor groaning while Kaveh is laughing his ass off in the background.
And with the sleeping hugs? They'd both get flustered, let's be real. Alahaitham is hard to fluster but, dang even he would be red in the face. And Kaveh... he's a cinnamon roll, of course, he is a blushing mess.
And yes, imagine just wearing a loose shirt in the morning and not wearing any pants (except for underwear) and it just fries their brain. Or some clothes you go out with (Reader's choice what it is) and it shows your collarbones/chest partly and they just completely lose their mind. Your outfit and you are on their mind for the rest of the night. They might just throw you a compliment for it later in the hopes you'd wear something like that more often.
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Happy “Tetchou got 2-3 seconds of screen time” day!!
Anyway Jouno has ADHD and heres a longass rant on why I think that
(Obviously this is a headcanon but hear me out!!!!!)
Almost every time we see Jouno he is always doing something with his hands wether this be gesturing, holding something, or fidgeting with an object (example: when he was peeling a pear in Kunikida’s cell thing) and in the same scene we also see Jouno apparently unable to sit still in his seat in the manga due to him repeatedly crossing and uncrossing his legs in his chair
Another reason I think this is because of possible time blindness. When we first see Jouno show up to the Hunting Dogs group thing where they smash into the ground, Fukuchi comments on Jouno arriving before him. This is because he had to go arrest Dazai so obviously he’s “here” in Yokohama early, but also this kind of makes me think he was just standing there waiting for a while. I’m likely reading too deep into it, but Fukuchi probably wouldn’t say that Jouno had gotten here before him when he knew that’d clearly be the case. In my mind it reads as Jouno arrived at the meeting spot early. How Fukuchi would know this? No clue! But also he’s Fukuchi so he probably knows everything.
(I hate tumblr formatting)
Another reason I have would be RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)
This one is definitely reaching a little bit but bare with me.
I think Jouno experiences RSD, not in the way of “oh I hate myself I messed up on something” but instead in the way of “shut the fuck up you dont know what youre talking about dont criticize me.” Which is honestly how I experience it sometimes as well LMAO but he does seem very focused on the fact of personally being the best Hunting Dog and appears to take quite a bit of offense whenever Tetchou reprimands him for his behaviour.
Last reason I can squeeze out before my brain turns into goo is overstimulation. Jouno is known very heavily for his heightened senses and people with ADHD are very prone to overstimulation. It would make a lot of sense for something like this to happen to Jouno. Obviously he wouldn’t be able to openly show this at work or have a breakdown at work (if he did he would likely go to a secluded area to calm down) but its very likely that he’s experienced many overstimulated breakdowns or shut downs during his life once his senses became so insane.
I could go on about this for hours but now I have to tag all of this and pass the hell out. Unsurprisingly my own time blindness has gotten the better of me (I started this at 2 am and it is currently 5 am)
DO I EVEN NEED THIS MANY TAGS IDK HOW THIS WORKS
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#jouno saigiku#saigiku jouno#jono saigiku#tetchou suehiro#tecchou suehiro#suehiro tecchou#suehiro tetchou#ouchi fukuchi#fukuchi ouchi#bsd fanart#jouno fanart#tetchou fanart#tecchou fanart#bsd tecchou#bsd jouno#suegiku#my art#bsd analysis#bsd headcanons#jouno headcanons#jono headcanons#I HATE TAGGING STUFF#文豪ストレイドッグス#jouno analysis#neurodiverse stuff#nd jouno#nd tetchou
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Palliative Care
Horacio Carrillo & F!Reader
For @narcosfandomdiscord's Day of Horror: came back wrong
Warnings: 18+, major character death, angst, scars, blood, hospitals, all the sad angsty things idk
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: Is this a day late? Yes. Is this one of the strangest, saddest fucked up little things I've ever written? Also yes. No clue where my brain went during this but here we are. I also think this might be my first ever fic with no dialogue. What a day!
Narcos Taglist: @ashlingnarcos @garbinge @hausofmamadas @cositapreciosa @narcolini @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)
palliative care (noun): treatment that reduces the pain without curing its cause
You had been one of the lucky ones. You knew it, too. With the minor exception of a few scars running up the side of your body, you came home fully intact. And compared to what you’d seen happen to so many others, a few ridges along your ribcage and thigh were hardly worth mentioning. You were grateful, in your mind at least, even if you didn’t always feel it all the way down into your bones.
The only thing that had gotten you through the atrocities that you’d seen, the losses that you’d suffered despite how hard you tried to prevent them, was the knowledge that one day you would be back home again. You weren’t going to live out your days wading through the carnage of war. And even though there was no guarantee of it, you were determined not to become and be buried as part of the mess yourself.
Unfortunately, no amount of determination and wishful thinking prepared you for what it was going to feel like being home again. All the days and nights you spent begging for some stability, some peace, maybe even a little bit of quiet, and once you got it you had no idea what to do with any of it. So many months in the midst of war and once you were relieved of that sense of urgency, your body just couldn’t accept it. There was no turning the dial down. The last thing you wanted was more chaos, but it felt like you were constantly filled with adrenaline, ready to handle crises that weren’t even there.
After months of struggling with guilt and the dreaded thought that you were somehow subconsciously ungrateful for the opportunity to be home and safe again, when you were asked whether or not you wanted another change of venue, it felt like the only answer was yes. It’d be different than last time, they assured you, but it wasn’t going to be some quiet hospital in the middle of a relatively safe city like where you’d been in the interim. Part of you knew that this was the last thing you probably needed, but if peace and quiet wasn’t fixing you, maybe getting thrown back into it would do the trick. So, off to Medellín you went.
It was different, just like they’d said. But in a lot of ways it was also the same. The apparent spontaneity felt familiar. There wasn’t always an obvious rhyme or reason to when the violence would crescendo, although you supposed that was the point.
The thing that felt the most familiar, though, was the underlying feeling of futility that you felt. More officers, more soldiers brought to you begging you to not let them die. You’d spent enough time doing triage on battlegrounds to know relatively quickly if you were going to have any control over the outcome. You hated how often you didn’t. But you knew better than to let them know that. Calm, collected, reassurance even if it was a lie was the best you could do for any of them regardless of whether or not you could help them.
You didn’t like the feelings that came rushing back, the familiarity of it all, but even though that was the case, it was the first time in a long time that you didn’t feel like you were out of place.
You grew to recognize the people that filtered in and out of the hospital on a regular basis. Sometimes they saw you frequently because they themselves were getting injured. As much as you hated seeing people getting hurt over and over again, at least return trips meant that they kept surviving.
The other people you saw frequently were the officers in charge. Sometimes they were getting patched up by you, but other times they were coming through to check on their men. All you could hope was that you had good news for them. The same way you could tell within moments of seeing someone getting brought in whether you’d be able to help them or not, officers soon learned to be able to tell whether or not you had good news for them. They never held it against you when you didn’t—the families were another story.
You didn’t know much of anything about Colonel Carrillo outside of the things you’d heard about him in passing. Your conversations with him were always short, always professional. He never seemed to show any emotion to you one way or another regardless of whether you were delivering good or bad news to him. His expression almost always stayed the same. Neutral, hardened. No matter what you said, he’d always conclude the conversation with a tight nod, and an even tighter “Thank you” before going off to wherever he was needed next. He never seemed to want to listen to your apologies, whatever condolences you used to try and offer him. You stopped giving them after awhile—he seemed almost relieved about it.
His absence wouldn’t have been something that crossed your mind at all if you hadn’t heard other nurses and doctors talking about it in passing. People stopped showing up all the time—you considered yourself lucky if you weren’t there to find out the reason why. If you hadn’t heard the murmurs, you never would have given it another thought. You would have just hoped the best for him, while in the back of your mind knowing it most likely wasn’t the case.
But then you heard them talking about how he’d gotten sent away. You watched the news enough to put it all together. Part of you felt relieved knowing that at least he was one person who wasn’t being sent away from the war in a pine box. Another part of you felt the tightness reappearing in your chest the more you thought about it. You knew what it was like to try and leave the fight. You’d done it of your own volition and you still couldn’t handle being away from the thick of it all. You could scarcely imagine what being pulled away before he was ready would do to someone who seemed to operate the way that Carrillo did.
He faded from your mind eventually, the way that most people tended to when you saw so many of them each day. You had much more present issues to think about. All of Colombia did. The surges of violence had you feeling like your hands would never be clean of blood no matter how hard you scrubbed them, no matter how scalding the water was. More officers than you could try to count or keep track of, dead before they got to you if not shortly after. There was no way to keep up with it. It was a feeling of drowning that you had felt before, one you never wanted to feel again. This time around, though, you at least knew how to tread water—exhausting but vital work.
The days had blurred together so completely that you lost track. You didn’t know how long Carrillo was gone for, but suddenly he was back again. He strode across the hospital floors like he hadn’t even been gone a day. You saw the difference in him, though. Soldiers all reached a point where they get pushed so far that they will either break, or they’ll evolve. You’ve seen the fallout of both those options and it was impossible to say that either one was preferable. But you could tell by the set of Carrillo’s jaw that he wasn’t broken. He was different, but not broken.
He spoke to you like no time at all had passed, so you returned the favor. Right back into old scripts, old routines. He had more jagged edges now where you just had more exhaustion. Maybe when all of this was said and done you’d simply be too tired to do anything but adjust to a quiet, normal life. More wishful thinking.
You felt like you had needed to claw your way out of your shift. The hours just kept slipping on by. Just when it seemed like there was no end in sight, you were told to go home. You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately taking off to get your things so you could grab what precious few hours of sleep that you could manage.
Your car keys were in your hand when you heard the sudden rush of yelling voices and running feet. It would’ve been so easy to pretend you’d missed it all, to slip out the back and cross the lot to your car. Avoiding it was infinitely easier than confronting it and throwing yourself into the middle of it. You knew that. Easier would’ve been such a nice change of pace. And yet you threw your keys back into your locker and headed back out towards the floor.
There was chaos and cussing and men groaning in pain. Immediately it became a game of Tetris trying to organize and find room for everyone, both patients and hospital staff alike. Only so many of you could populate a floor and still do your jobs without tripping over each other.
You were trying to figure out where the hell you were supposed to start when you felt someone’s hand reach out and grab yours. You returned the gesture on instinct, never one to deprive a desperate soldier of a last hint of comfort. However, when you looked down at the person who had grabbed your hand, you couldn’t hide the surprise on your face. You’d never seen the Colonel being anything other than cold and composed—never the one on this end of the equation. You’d definitely never seen him reaching out to anyone for comfort.
When you took in the state of him, you couldn’t help but to wonder if he was just looking to you to confirm what he already knew. No amount of tactical gear in the world would’ve saved him from whatever he’d gone through before he got brought to you. Despite all the blood and the pale look of his face, the grip he had on your hand was surprisingly strong.
All of your usual words got caught in the back of your throat, things you would typically say to provide comfort in moments like this. But it was Colonel Carrillo, a man who wanted nothing to do with being placated. It was better that way for both of you now because the lump at the back of your throat made it impossible for you to say anything at all, comforting or not.
The tighter he tried to hold onto your hand, the more you tried to match his grip. You brought your hand that he wasn’t holding to rest on his shoulder, fingers wrapping over the curve of it. You tried not to pay attention to the blood that seeped from his uniform into the pads of your fingertips. Even as the seconds ticked by, and his grip started to weaken, and tears began to cut the edges of your eyes and his, you didn’t apologize. He didn’t ask for one either. He didn’t ask for anything. He just held your hand until he couldn’t anymore.
#narcoctober#horacio carrillo#day of horror#horacio carrillo x reader#x reader#x reader fic#horacio carrillo x you#narcos#narcos netflix#narcos netflix fanfiction#narcos fanfiction#my writing#fanfiction#drabblesmc
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write some angst. huge sad angst. argument? sure! fucking idk make me cry. any cc, idc, just make me sad.
we got some sad shit baby💪💪💪
"You need to leave." (big t x reader)
words: 1.368
a/n: ok so basically... i just got drunk, then when i was sober i wrote how i was thinking. sorry if its hard to read but have fun :)
warnings: alcohol mention + use, yelling, and a whole lot of cussing
-
Tanner is getting on my god damn nerves. Last night, I spent the night alone in my apartment and dressed for a date that did not happen. Every text and call I send him I get no answer. I can't tell if I'm supposed to be upset, worried, or pissed off but somehow I'm feeling all three.
For context, we've had this date planned for a couple of weeks. It's already been postponed due to my job or random things Nick asks him to do. And after 3 weeks, we finally both had a free day to have a simple and good date.
15 missed calls, 50+ texts, and 10 hours later I just parked my car in front of Tanner's house. I've gotta calm down. It could've been a mistake, a stupid mistake at that but we all mistakes. No what am I thinking, he deserves to get yelled at. So many thoughts are going through my head. At one point I'm pissed off, but on the other I don't know what happened.
I grab my shit, locking my car behind me, and walk up to the front door. Giggling at the "gay" welcome mat, I ring the door bell... no answer. Okay? I'll just ring it again... no answer again. What is going on? Nick's room is right here, at least he should be able to hear it.
I'm calling Nick.
"Hello?" He picks up the phone.
"Hey Nick, I'm outside. Can you let me in?"
"Yeah sure, one sec" He hangs up. A couple of seconds later, the door opens. A simple "thanks" comes out my mouth all muffled as I shove past Nick to walk towards Tanner's room. Isaac sitting on the couch, looks up and let's me know Tanner's still asleep. Great. Just great... I don't want to wake him up in a bad mood.
Whatever. He deserves it. I need to know what happened. I slam open his door to see him laying in bed sound asleep, with alcohol bottles covering his desk and his sweatpants on the floor next to the bed. His room's a mess, well when isn't it really? The only time its considered to be clean is when you clean it.
He must've heard the door open, cus he slowly wakes up and turns over to see me standing in his room.
"Baby, w-what are you doing here?" he asks so innocently.
"What am I doing here?? I should be asking what you're doing here?" I'm basically yelling.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?!? What do I- uh. I can't with you. We had a date planned for last night!"
"Wha- OH!! Baby, baby please come here. Please come here I'm so sorry."
'No- No absolutely not. What did you do last night? Tell me."
"I-I was drinking with Isaac and Yumi. We played that stupid truck sim game and streamed. Then I just drank and watched anime until I passed out I guess." He admits. What. The. Fuck. I must've said that out loud cus Tanner immediately started to apologize again, "I'm so sorry baby, I completely forgot. Please let me make it up to you".
"No, I'm going home. You better find a way to make this better" I say as I walk out his room and closing the door behind me. The guys must've heard it all happen, cus I could feel Isaac and Nick staring at me as I walk out the front door. I didn't say a word, I just kept my head low and kept walking towards my car. Once I got in my car I just needed to scream.
FUCK.
Okay, that's a little bit better.
-
I got home and immediately turned my phone completely off, tossing it on my night stand and not looking back. I just need to do something else, get my mind off of what just happened. I need a drink. I grab some alcohol from the mini fridge I keep next to my desk. It's a vodka kind of day.
5 shots in...
10 shots in...
20 gulps in...
fuuuck. maybe i should've stopped like 20 sips ago. were those even considered sips? they were too big to be sips. my brain is fuzzzzyyy.
i gottta admiT what i said to Tanner was fuckked up, but i don't mean any of it. I should text him. N-NO!! I'm not texting him.
But I miss him, no I dont. fuck im crying now. ok this is happeninggg. I need to lay down. go lay on the bed. okay. im on the bed now.
knock knock knock
what. what the fuck was what.
knock knock knock
there it is again. am i dying? fuck. is that god? it's getting louder
knock knock knock
oh wait. its my frontt dooor. silly me. i'll go open it. come on body get up. one steep at a time.
"Baby. You scared me." oohhhh iits tanner.
"H-H-Heeeeeeeyyyy Taaaannnerrrrr" wait no i'm mad at him. actually, i'm just falling, oh shit.
"Oh my god, let's get you in bed. Come on" heee says while catching me, he's so strongg. i can feel his muscles, oh my god.
im laying down now. in my bed, i don't remember getting here. oh yeah Tanner.
"Y-Youu, youung sir, you neeed to leave" i slur outt, hehe.
"I'm not leaving you like this"
"Buuut. I'm mad at you a-a-and so you need to leave."
"Just go to-"
-
I woke up in pajama's and a massive headache. What the-
"Are you okay?" Oh. I remember now. I shake my head yes and sit up to see Tanner sitting on the foot of my bed. God, I'm regretting a lot of shit now.
"Baby... I'm so sorry. Can we talk about this? I need to apologize a lot." He says, so quiet it's basically a whisper. He looks up at me meeting my eyes. Was he.. crying? His eyes were all puffy and his hair was all messed up.
"Look, I fucked up. I know I did. But, baby, please forgive me for it. This is the first date I've missed in the forever the fuck long we've been dating. You didn't deserve that. You don't deserve that. I tried to think of all the things I could buy you, or do for you, to make up. But truthfully, the best option was being here for you and letting you know I care.
"I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I love you. I love you so fucking much. At the end of the day, I would choose you over anybody. Please, baby, just forgive me so I can forgive myself." Tanner whispers, a few tear leaving his eyes.
"It's sad, the first thought I had is that you were cheating on me. Then I thought you died, or just decided you hated me. I spent all of last night on the couch crying in the outfit I would've worn. I'm sorry I yelled at you, I just let my emotions get the best of me. You just... You really scared me. I thought I lost you." I confess. I can't make eye contact with him. I close my eyes as streams of tears run down my face and onto the pillow I've been holding. I feel the bed shift and I think Tanner got up and walked away, but suddenly I feel a pair of arms wrap around me.
-
For the past 30 minutes Tanner and I have been doing the 3 C's: cuddling, crying, and comforting.
"Relationships are hard" I think aloud.
"Yeah but we make it work." Tanner says, kissing my neck. My head is still pounding from all the alcohol I had, I can imagine Tanner was feeling the same when I yelled at him. To whoever said relationships were supposed to be easy, fuck you. It's hard to put your total 100% trust and love into one person all the time. And on top of that, you get that back. Plus work, or school, and making sure you're still taking care of yourself.
"I'm glad I have you" I confess.
Today was a long ass day.
a/n: this one is shorter, but i honestly cried while writing it. sorry if the drunk part is too hard to read!! requests are open so do whatever you will with that information. love yall, and thank you so much for all the support
#the group chat#the group x reader#big t streaming#tanner x reader#bigt x reader#angst#alcohol#yelling#apology
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I'm new here so idk if you've done this before but what about hurt/comfort with Saeyoung and MC while they're in the apartment, Saeyoung ofc is being Like That. MC tries pushing at first but she's been burned/ghosted by ""friends"" more than once and has low self-esteem and eventually goes "you can just be honest with me you know. if you really don't like me I can take a hint. wouldn't be the first time. i know im not the kind of person other people like." maybe even says she wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the RFA is just being polite so they can hold parties again... and she locks herself in another room, maybe doesn't even check the messenger for the rest of the day.
And Saeyoung, as much as he's trying to be a dick so she won't miss him, just can't fucking do it. he's not going to let MC think she's the problem when he's the asshole (and whoever else has hurt her, but revenge plotting can be done later). she probably won't let him in right away but eventually they talk and maybe cuddle or smthn
"You can just be honest with me, you know."
Luciel didn't look up from his screen when MC spoke, even though the strands of letters and numbers flickering across his computer had turned into a jumbled, soupy mess hours ago. He was accustomed to working through exhaustion, fatigue, malnutrition, and dehydration, so he knew that if he kept pushing, eventually he'd break this obstacle and be working smoothly once again.
He didn't need to stop. Certainly, he didn't need to stop to listen to MC's chattering.
They'd been trying to start conversations with him multiple times since his arrival at the apartment, but he would just tighten his headphones or lean closer to his screen, to make a point. 'I'm busy,' he would convey wordlessly. 'I don't want to talk to you.'
That was a lie, of course; Luciel wanted nothing more than to be close to MC, to hear their woes, and if he could dare dream to be so selfish, to sob into their embrace. But he couldn't risk getting close to someone ever again.
Now that he knew he was a curse that damned everyone he loved to misery.
After seeing what had become of Saeran, who was his entire reason for breathing, he couldn't dare risk accepting MC's snacks, or blankets, or bandages. They'd live a far better, safer, and happier life once he finished restoring the security system and could vanish from their world forever.
"If you don't really like me... I can take a hint."
But nothing... nothing could have prepared him to hear those words leave his beloved MC's mouth.
A harsh bark of laughter came next. Luciel didn't dare look behind him, lest MC know he was listening, but the bitterness in their tone made his stomach twist. "It wouldn't be the first time," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper. "I've learned by now... that I'm not the type of person that other people like. I'm not the type of person that anyone wants to keep around."
How was he supposed to focus on the flashing symbols on his screen, when warning signals were flashing inside his brain? Luciel could feel his body stiffen as he tried to think of a response. Was it appropriate for him to say anything? Would his words only put MC in more danger? Maybe he could just wait for them to calm down, and then surely someone from the RFA could call to distract them and put a smile on their face.
Someone from their world, a world of light and justice and charity and hope, could put a smile on their face once more and restore their confidence.
Luciel massaged his fingers for a moment, then cracked his knuckles and returned to typing. That should help MC understand that he "wasn't listening," right?
"It's okay," MC murmured. "If you don't want me around, I mean. Actually... I bet everyone else in the RFA feels the same way." Another pitiful laugh escaped their throat. "Maybe... maybe you even said in the chatroom that my location is secret because you wanted me to believe that's why nobody would visit me. I'm just some dumb, lost fool who doesn't know any of you, and I'm not at all fit to fill Rika's role. Maybe... someone begged you for an excuse... Would it be Jumin? Jaehee? A whole separate group chat?"
Every word that left MC's troubled lips cut another slice on Luciel's heart. Were they even talking to him anymore, or were they just voicing the concerns that'd been clogging their thoughts and feelings for days now?
"At least I can be useful. Even if nobody likes me... The RFA is full of good people. If I'm good for nothing else, at least I can help them have a party again. That's enough of a reason to pretend to tolerate me, isn't it?"
Whether he was meant to hear them, he knew he couldn't bear to let MC continue to believe this. Luciel could plow through work against his own pain, but the thought of hurting MC... Even he couldn't handle that adrenaline working against him.
Luciel finally turned his head (against his better judgment), but by the time he could open his mouth to speak, MC was already gone.
The bathroom door slammed behind them.
~~~~~
"Time for dinner, meow! Time for dinner, meow!"
MC nearly tripped over themselves as they got to their feet, their joints and muscles screeching in protest. Carefully they stepped over the side wall of the tub, suppressing a groan as their knees shrieked. They didn't intend to pass out sobbing in the bathtub, but crying is exhausting! One minute they were sniffling into their sleeves, and the next...
Wait, did that robot kitty say "dinner"?
MC nearly tripped again in their shock as they hurried over to the bathroom door. But as soon as they touched the handle, they hesitated. Would Seven--no, Luciel--even want to see them? Shame and guilt washed over them as they remembered what they had said this morning. Confessing that they knew everyone hated them and it wouldn't be the first time? Would he kick them out of the apartment? Would they be fired from the RFA? MC couldn't begin to imagine the conversations that had happened while they were dozing off. They could vaguely recall their phone buzzing from time to time, but half-conscious and wholly-despondent, they'd ignored every message.
"Dinner meow! Don't let it get cold meow!"
Well, if nothing else would motivate MC to face their anxiety, the rumbling in their stomach was rather persuasive. Inhaling deeply, MC turned the handle and opened the door to walk out into the main body of the apartment.
"I hope you like soup."
MC nearly jumped out of their skin at the sound of Luciel's voice. He was sitting in his usual spot on the floor, but he was pointing a finger towards the kitchen area. "The broth will be good for you, since you... It's good if you lose fluids," he finished awkwardly. Was he trying to avoid saying "cry"? Wait, did he hear them crying in the tub? "Meowy can help you spruce it up. It's a basic miso soup with some vegetables you had around the pantry."
As if on cue, Meowy pressed its head against your legs. Curiously MC followed, and the corners of their mouth twitched into a smile when they saw the tray of sauces, spices, herbs, and other garnishments by the eager robotic kitty's paws.
"I already had some. Eat as much as you want."
MC wanted to thank him, but they weren't sure if he would want to be bothered now. He'd already gone back to typing with both hands, and his headphones were firmly nestled over his ears with his hood on top of them too. "I..."
"You're important to us. All of us." He spoke up before MC could think of what to say. "Just because you don't like yourself, doesn't mean we can't like you. Got it? Don't try to change my mind."
MC had never tasted such a delicious, heartfelt bowl of soup in their life.
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Feral rn I ADORE consensual edging, overstimulation, and multiple orgasms 😩 we all know Kaveh is a squirt enthusiast and pussy drunk so he'll try to pull as many as he can from Alhaitham before the sessions over. Maybe even pushing him beyond that (watersports anyone? 👉👈 its fine if its not your thing) but Kaveh, being the doting partner he is, always makes sure to give him water and a nice long bath with lots of praise and skin contact if Haitham is up for it. I'll be awaiting the day you decide to come back to this idea! - 🍋
YESSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSS OMORASHI i heavily implied it without saying it out loud bc i know most ppl are prob not into this so i left it there but in my mind i was chanting it while writing this very vaguely, idk if u noticed it AHHAH
(omo rambling utc, dont click if u know u dont like this kinda stuff)
(first of all, for me big no to drinking or them getting it in the mouth, its just the whole control thing) i just find the idea of haitham getting edged and fucked so good he loses control over his body that he just releases all over himself and blacking out from the relief and bliss for a sec before he gets so embarrassed and humiliated (in a delicious way he not-so-secretly enjoys (bc kaveh is smart and found out soon) that he has to hide his face for a bit to calm down (i like to hc he does that when hes actually getting embarrassed for once, taking a sec to collect himself) and its so very cute to kaveh- and also too arousing to see haitham like this. hes so vulnerable, willingly showing kaveh, giving him this control bc he trusts him the most and it does things to kavehs heart and brain
theres just smth seeing this stoic aloof man, always seeming so unreachable and cool and always in control, all drunk and stupid on (only kavehs) cock, his entire body a mess of fluids, trembling and moaning and crying, all of his control either gone or given willingly to kaveh.......... <3 beautiful
while were on omo topic, now i got another idea to draw bc the mental image is now stuck in my brain omg i just love haitham getting embarrassed or all blushing while he loses control (and gets even wetter bc he enjoys it)
i want and need to draw all this waaaa every time we all ramble here i have the feral need to draw all this bc the mental images !!! theyre every where .. .. 😩💕
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MAYAAAAAA 😫😫😫 I know I’ve been in your inbox already once today, but I just saw you reblog This Fucking Post™ of This Fucking Guy™ and— EXCUSE ME. I AM UNWELL.
So now I can’t help but think about how this particular Seb is a bit more confident and cocksure (pun at least 50% intended) than usual, and how it completely throws Chris for a loop and maybe they haven’t seen each other for a while and they’re finally alone and making out like teenagers on Seb’s couch and Chris is reeling from how assertive and self-assured Seb is, not to mention how stupidly fucking hot he looks, and listen. LISTEN. Chris loves it, he really, really does, but he’s just used to being a bit more in charge, and being able to reduce Seb into a boneless, speechless mess with relative ease (much like Seb’s doing to him, right now).
Chris is kinda getting lost inside his head when his hand finds its familiar way into Seb’s hair, fingers curling gently but surely around the lengths, and tugging—
Seb makes the tiniest noise in the back of his throat, but Chris can feel the tremor that runs through him, so he pulls a bit harder, a bit meaner.
There it is.
“Screw you,” Seb breathes, but it comes out wrapped in an unmistakeable moan.
Chris just laughs, mouthing at the hinge of his jaw in a way that makes Seb squirm into the cushions.
“This is why we can’t have nice things,” Seb huffs even while closing his eyes and melting into the touch.
“Aww, honey,” Chris purrs in response. “You’re the nice thing.”
Idk what this even is but I totally blame you & Minnie for it 😇💕
OH MY FUCKING GODDDD KAY MY SUNFLOWER BABY 😭😭😭😍😍🥵🥵🥵🥵
Okay. Calming down for a second but GOD I love you so fucking much.
I saw your other ask and I LOVE it, also @sparkagrace has been begging me for something similar and I will have so much fun writing it, so thank youuuu for sending me that prompt (also? I love the hive mind so freaking much lol 💗💗)
But getting back to the rest of your ask bc oh my god are you in my head??? This is like a perfect scenario and I’m obsessed 😫 Anyone who even knows me a little bit knows how weak I am for this Seb:
Like uncontrollable sobbing, unhinged screeching, want to BITE, that kind of weak 😭
But back to your scenario.
One of my favorite things is Seb being a little cocky and Chris being surprised by it and LOVING it, but alsoooo trying to find a way to reduce Seb to a whimpering mess again 😫 I love how in this scenario Chris goes with it for a little but then he just needs to do one thing, and Sebastian is done for (much like I am).
And they both love it. Chris loves it when his boyfriend is assertive, makes known what he loves and wants; whether it’s through making those delicious noises or by showing Chris what he wants by being a little more demanding like this. He always thinks Sebastian is hot, unbelievably gorgeous, but there’s something about him when he smirks at Chris in that way of his, when Sebastian looks all self-assured and like he knows he’s the hottest thing out there, because in Chris’s mind he always is. So he lets Sebastian do what he wants for a little, until instinct takes over…and his instinct will always be to love on Sebastian so much, to make him feel soooo good, that Sebastian just melts into whatever surface they’ve ended up on and lets Chris make him feel even better.
The moment that happens always causes Chris’s brain to short circuit for a second. When Sebastian’s features go slack, when he moans so loudly, when he starts to give himself over to Chris. It’s not so much surprise as it is pure awe; that he can have that effect on Sebastian, that Sebastian loves it as much as he does, that Sebastian lets him do this.
Sebastian loves it when Chris takes charge and just, instinctively knows what he needs, but sometimes he just can’t control himself, feeling sooo good about himself and wanting Chris to feel good too, needing to be close, so he just goes for it.
He can’t help but feeling a little hungry, a little feral when they’ve been apart for a while, needing his hands all over Chris and needing Chris’s hands all over him. Rile him up as much as he can until he gets Chris to growl a little and manhandle him, pull at his hair, letting Chris take charge again easily.
Riling Chris up is maybe one of his favorite things to do. It’s almost like a little game they play, and even if Seb complains a little when Chris takes over and makes him all weak-kneed, it’s all he wants.
ALSO, Chris is right, he is the nice thing 😭 and BLESS you so much for dropping these incredible thoughts into my inbox, GOD, I’m gonna need some more time to think about this 🥵.
I LOVE YOU (and your incredible brain) SOOO MUCH 💕💕💕💕💕 Sending you the biggest polar bear hugs and all the smooches 😘😘
Alsooo I think @musette22 will agree with me that we’ll gladly take the blame if it leads to something like this 🥰🥰🥰
#maya answers#evanstan#rpf#KAYYYY 🌻🌻🌻🌻#I cannot EXPRESS how much I love this AHHHHHHHH#my brain is short circuiting#Ughhh#these two
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Idk if this is like, too much but I CANNOT get it out of my head. What if instead of F1 drivers, they’re all porn stars working for the same film company or onlyfans. Right. Right. Stick with me. The poly!piarles relationship exists where mommy and Pierre are Bunny’s doms. Right, as per the norm. Bunny’s a fan favorite because wouldn’t love our pretty bunny. Such a beautiful cock drunk sweetheart. A happy bunny that CAN GO OUT FOR DINNER AND BE AS CUDDLY AND SUBBY AS HE WANTS WITH PIERRE AND MOMMY IN PUBLIC (still sad for heartbroken bunny who thought it would just be a party of 3 🥺). And since Kinkmas is coming up, you ask bunny if he’s ok letting the fans choose what video they should put out for the Christmas special. Right. Stick with me. STICK WITH ME. By popular demand, Bunny is to be blindfolded and maybe lightly restrained (you hold has hands and give him kisses and play with his nipples to keep him grounded and calm) and has to guess which driver is fucking him. STICK WITH ME ON THIS. Bunny gets to choose all partners before hand so it’s all people he’s worked with before or wants to work with for the special. You and Pierre spent a lot of time prepping and stretching and making sure bunny is happy and comfortable with having multiple partners in one session where they have control. They can fuck him until he guesses correctly who is who. If he guesses wrong, he gets a spank. Nothing too heavy because we don’t want him overwhelmed. And if he guesses right he can have a treat. Like a piece of candy or an extra kiss or he can cum. Or cum many times. Whatever bunny wants. Or maybe it’s just one big fuck fest with many subs and many doms playing the game together but everyone lays out the rules before hand on who/what is and isn’t allowed. We know Bunny probably doesn’t want to share you and Pierre with other people in the poly!piarles verse because you guys belong to each other and each other only. But for the sake of this idea, pornstar bunny is down to share for the Kinkmas Special. Ok. Brain rot over. 😗💕
I…. I might need to start a porn au oh my god. This is… I think this ask permanent changed my brain chemistry, I will never be the same again.
(Let me know if you guys want legit porn au because now I’m thinking of an idea where the drivers are pornstars working in a studio that you own and uh…. I think we need to discuss that later)
But anyway yes!!! Yes this is so good let’s talk about the concept more because I’m obsessed.
Charles would absolutely adore being your subby bunny on camera? He loves being shown off, so to get shown off and feel so safe and loved and make money?? Absolutely incredible he feels so very lucky.
The fans adore bunny of course. His videos make the most of everyone’s, and you completely understand why.
He’s not at all worried about letting the fans choose, because he knows you’d never make him do anything that would make him uncomfortable. And he loves blindfolds so much so it’s perfect.
Making him guess who is fucking him is AMAZING.
Maybe you run the scene? So you sit next to Charles and hold his hand. You’re the one who spanks him if he guesses wrong and kisses him if he guesses right.
The issue is, poor bunny has negative braincells when he’s got anything in his ass. So to be tucked constantly? There’s no way he’s going to be able to think clearly.
The video starts with you and Pierre prepping bunny, treating him gently and promising him that he can have Pierre’s cock if he manages to guess who is fucking him three times (though what isn’t said is that Charles will get Pierre’s cock when the video is done no matter what, it just won’t be recorded if he doesn’t guess the three right).
Charles approved a list of ten people to fuck him, but he doesn’t know which of the ten will be fucking him, and he’s only allowed three guesses each time so he has to think carefully and can’t just name all ten.
He’s a complete mess the moment the first cock enters him, clinging to your hand and whining because he’s so hard and so desperate and he wants to be good and guess right.
The first who fucks him is Daniel. And Charles doesn’t guess until Daniel wraps his hand around charles’s throat and then he knows he who it is instantly. Daniel’s hands are massive and feel insane around his neck.
He gets a kiss on the lips AND his forehead when he guesses it right, because he’s such a good bunny.
The second one to fuck him is Lewis. Charles guesses Lewis the moment he enters him, because Lewis is absolutely fucking massive and the stretch is unmistakable.
Lewis giggles when Charles guesses so quickly, telling Charles that he’s doing so well and Lewis is so happy with him because he knows Charles’s praise kink is in full force.
Originally, the next person was supposed to be Alex.
But then you could see how desperate Charles was and Pierre didn’t want to go through someone else, which you agree with.
So instead… Pierre is the third person.
You can see the confusion in bunny’s face when Pierre enters him, because he knows Pierre’s cock perfectly. He instantly recognises the feeling, and then Pierre’s hand rest on his hips, squeezing lightly and Charles knows it’s him.
But it can’t be? Pierre wasn’t one of the options??
He’s so confused. He knows who it is. It has to be Pierre. It can’t be anyone else.
“Mommy?” Charles asks, confused.
“You’re so good,” you answer, wanting Charles to guess it himself, “you were so good and we thought you deserved your treat immediately.”
Charles smiles wide then, saying, “Pierre!!!”
Pierre chuckles and removes the blindfold from Charles, flipping him over and fucking him hard and slow.
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Man I get so tired of my own shit sometimes. I feel like at least once everyday I get upset about something then have to spend the rest if the day trying to feel better and problem solve so that way I don't have a reason to be upset.
But today I couldn't find clothes after my shower ( I should have found them first) and the rug in my room felt dirty ( I vacuumed it yesterday) and I wanted to wash laundry ( but it's super stressful because of the leak idk if my dad is ever going to fix? So i didn't) I complained to Chris over text for a while ( that helped), but idk why not having socks would make me so upset about everything. I guess I try not to think about the leak but I know it's getting worse and my house smells a little weird because it really needs to be fixed but my dad can't afford it ( obviously we can't either) but it's making it impossible for me to do laundry. I have to walk through literal puddles in the basement and my shoes are so old and slick I'm fucking terrified I'm going to slip in the dirty water and my ocd brain bad thoughts prevents me from being able to cope with that thought very well. Also I have extra laundry this week and that made me even more stressed. So I guess I wasn't actually crying about socks but a whole mess of shit.
I'm going to be a bug girl and go start some laundry even though I really don't want to because it's the only that that might help me calm down. Also I'm going to have to vacuum the rug in my room (again) so I can have a good space to take out my art supplies later. It's really discouraging to feel like I spent fucking hours cleaning and things (at least the feeeel) dirty again. I'm wondering if it's actually dirty or it's just my brain doing that thing it does about germs and other gross stuff? It's kinda been hard to tell lately and I wish I could turn off the negative thoughts that promt me to stress clean or wash my hands multiple times in a row.
I've been feeling so on top of my mental health lately it's hard to admit this has been so challenging to feel clean. I feel like the more I clean the less I get the bad feeling someone's going to die (specifically my entire family all at once? Ugh the scariest) so I just keep cleaning things.
I need to eat something and get some exercise outside in the fresh air, or I'm never going to feel better. The weather is nice. I put on a dress. I'm still planning on doing some art. Tomorrow is Easter and that will be fun so I'm going to keep trying to put myself in a better mood.
Ok ok // end rant
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thank god its friday
just- post-fighting/brawling sex. its been on my mind all week. meeting up together after you've both been beaten bloody and injured but you're still too adrenaline high to care. idk baby, but I just want to break a wall against someones back and get them off while leaving permanent marks, ya know?
at the moment I have Frank in mind (entirely your fault for infecting my brain with THAT damn gif with the shard) but anyone, really.
just want my bloody and bruised knuckles to bring someone over the edge, I guess. moans that are both pain and pleasure, bruises that are not only made by me. blood that I can't be sure is only ours.
ohhhhh what giiiif? this oneee?
No but seriously, Frank is absolutely the most perfect character for a post fight fuck. (bonus points if its an enemies fuck but you know.)
Both of you are covered in blood, bruises, and cuts, bleeding and hurting but your bodies unable to calm down from the adrenaline rush just yet. Its not really the need for that other person or their presence or comfort its purely to just...its the need to let out all those things still built up inside you, you know?
Pushing him hard against the wall the moment you realize you both need it. The way he'd grunt so loud as his back hits the wall, his one hand on your neck immediately while he pulls you close to him with the other one. Make sure he can feel you pressing against his cock when you tug on his hair to get his attention.
The way you could taste the blood in every kiss?
The way you'd bite on his lower lip too hard, pull away just to watch the blood drip down his chin, and then lick over the cut, hearing his "shit." when he feels the stinging you know?
OR or the way you could feel every single cut or bruise on your body when he grabs you to pull you closer, or to lift you up, or to hold you down, and how you'd be able to tell he can feel his injuries too.
You could see his bloody and bruised knuckles when he reaches to grab your neck and he could see the blood on your hands when you go to grab his face?
You said "get them off while leaving permanent marks" and i gotta say my head went to ridding frank on the couch while you leave bite marks on his neck, shoulder, and chest, your fingers wrapped around his neck the same way his are wrapped around yours? Both of you panting heavily, moaning and grunting in both pain and pleasure? Just an absolutely beautiful bloody mess.
also just...as a very personal touch, kissing through one of you having a nose bleed? juts...i swear im normal
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Idk if you still want to talk about bladers but if you are, maybe Kenta? Or Yuki if you want :D
WEEWA KENTA MY BOY
He’s so funny because I think he’s been considered a “weird kid” for a lot of his life but then he made friends with a bunch of people who are way weirder than him and was dubbed one of the normal guys of their group and he was just like “huh.”
He’s very bad at processing people who talk really fast and usually have to ask them to repeat themselves a lot because his brain just kinda shuts down. Yu is the only exception to this. He’s the kind of guy who needs to watch shows and movies with subtitles because otherwise he will not process anything that happens and be very confused. When he reads he probably needs to read the same passage multiple times to be able to get everything down.
I think Kenta is one of those kids who didn’t have soda at home and so whenever he goes somewhere and they have soda, he drinks like 3 cups in one sitting.
I think he would like Kirby games a lot. His favorite is planet robobot. He has a lot of Kirby plushies. He really likes the waddle dees.
Yu is like the kid who would climb to the most random parts of a playground that he was most certainly not supposed to climb on and Kenta would be the one who would be asking him to get down because he’s gonna get hurt very panicked.
This is such a random thought but I thought abt it the other day and like, I hc Kenta and Yu in shogun steel to be around 19-20, and the thought that those two would legally be able to drink in some countries messes with my head lmao. That’s the one thing about drawing them aged up they would actually be able to do adult things and that’s so weird because those are like babies for the rest of the series.
Also I think it would be funny if he wasn’t always immediately recognized as a legendary blader in shogun steel. Like young bladers see him and just think he’s some random ass office worker and pull a “do you even blade bro” and then he pulls out fucking flash sagittario and wipes the floor with them. I think it would be funny. I think Shinobu would pass out on the spot if he ever met him. I like to think that Zyro is also a bit of a Kenta fanboy, specifically because he admires the story of the underdog who rose to be one of the most prominent bladers in the world.
ANYWAYS
Yuki had a Greek mythology phase. He read all the Percy Jackson books in like a week. He calls 500+ page books quick reads.
He really likes mystery games but cannot handle ones where characters die. He really likes professor layton games. I think he probably really liked night in the woods even though it wrecked him for WEEKS. I think he would like any media that he could analyze for a very long time. He absolutely eats up heavy symbolism and lore
He has a habit of messing with his hands whenever he’s nervous. Someone get that boy a tangle before he goes insane.
I think he likes calm music. Big fan of video game osts. Maybe some lofi every now and again too.
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Dear Brain: Please be so kind and take over the action, if you got any Problem. I‘m so fcking tired of feeling sad. Please do something to make me confident. I just want to be able to open up myself to someone completely. I‘ts not like I know nobody to open up to. I just fucking can‘t. I got so much that i wanna know and share, but it seems like, if I‘m involved, you analyse on different values. Why are you so good with 3-dimensional-thinking, physical intuition, craftsmanship and still unable to build and hold relationships. Why is it, that I‘m so unconfortable being vulnerable? metaphorically speaking, being not asleep feels like the sun during fusionreaction. To the outside seems bright, warm and shiny. While the internalised energy is collapsing on itself due to very high pressure. Brain please, be cool. I need someone or something to cuddle. Just being touched by anything that isn‘t an object gets my body into emergency mode almost every time. Calm down, structure yourself and be reasonable. Except I am. you know what to do in that case. So.. yea.. I‘m kinda done in relation to humans. Ah, I almost suppressed most recent mega BS. My „best friend“ snitched on me to my family, wich is very conservative, that i do drugs. now my mother is hovering over my ass like if i was 16. the ADHD medication seems to pull my consciousness into pieces. I‘m unable to describe it. Life is a huge mess. At least I can anticipate one thing that is 100% certain: one day I will die and im happy about that. Does it make me care more or less? idk.. i should not care at all. but rolling with it seems impossible to me. all this shit i wrote.. this should make me feel better. so many words and nothing said. so many thoughts and still no movement. I can‘t find an end to this thought.. I hope to find you. i hope i learn to love you even more. i hope you will feel love. I‘m hoping for a happy life but I expect heartbreak and suffering. so i‘ll lay down and hope to fall asleep. as always
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Anxious
I have so many thoughts going through my head right now. I feel like I’m overthinking and spiraling. I’m trying to calm myself down and I don’t know how. It’s hard to bring it up to the people that the thoughts are about and I know that’s the only way to ease my mind. I just don’t want to cause any friction or side eyeing of me for even thinking what I’m thinking. Why do I have this semi-negative mind? I always think the worst or always think people are trying to hurt me, manipulate me, use me, etc. My trust is wavering. It’s insane lol.
I was asked a favor and now I’m second guessing already accepting because that favor is bringing up more favors that I’m unsure I can fulfill. Idk how to tell the person that because then it’ll mess up their plans. Why am I possibly screwing myself to save them? I do this all the time. And on the flip side, why am I doubting that I can complete the favor? Ugh. I need to vent but no one to vent to. I actually do have someone to vent to... I just sometimes don’t like venting to anyone cuz then I feel like I’m dumping. I’m about to call my best friend. I was supposed to call her back anyway and it’s been slipping my mind thru all the other phone calls and conversations I’ve been having. But then I don’t want to call her yet because I have this other call to make and I know that’s gonna be some tea I need to tell her too lol. But I can’t make that call yet because I’m waiting for my phone to charge since it’ll be a long call. So I’m venting here while it does. Back to square one... how to deal with the initial problem of how to express my concerns for the additional favors.See how my brain never lands the plane? LMAOOOOOO.
FuCk Meeeeee!
The person just texted me.... eeeek! BRB.
#dear jewels#anxious#anxious mind#anxiety#thinking too much#deep thoughts#calm down#breathe#deep breaths#inner thoughts#blabbering#word vomit#brainstorming#thought journal#does it make sense?#make it make sense
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