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neon-green-reagent · 1 year

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Yet Another 50 Underrated Horror Films

I guess most people would want to talk about the best movies they watched in the past year, but I thought this would be a more fun way of ending 2022. Let me give you some links to other lists before I get started, in case you are into this and just cannot get enough. Well, allow me to be of service.

The First 50

The Second 50

UFO Movies

Mad Science Movies

Aquatic Movies

Found Footage Movies

Heavy Metal Movies

Werewolf Movies

Eyes of Fire : Back in old timey pioneer days, a group of people get cast out from their community because their preacher is a sex fiend. So they find their own place. That is full of evil fae magic and ghosts and stuff, and things get wonderfully weird.

Highway To Hell : It’s Orpheus but full of puns and dumb jokes and incredible special effects. My favorite bit is about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Also, Adam Storke is in this... You know, Larry from the 90s Stand miniseries. That guy. He’s great here.

Shallow Ground : Ghosts. But so so so much cooler than just that. I don’t want to say too much. This one is all about the reveal. This teenager shows up naked and covered in blood, and everyone goes what the hell happened to him? And shit gets STRANGE.

Nightflyers : Adaptation of a George R.R. Martin short story that really needs a blu-ray release, like, yesterday. Beautifully 80s SF horror film full of weird, futuristic bullshit that I can’t get enough of.

Beyond Dream's Door : What if A Nightmare On Elm Street were made on $3 and a ton of LSD? Take this trip, no pun intended.

Night Vision : A guy that literally just fell off the turnip truck decides to be a writer in in THE BIG CITY. Which supernaturally chews him up and spits him back out. A cool, low budget time.

The Murder Mansion : Giallo! Two rather attractive people meet, fall in love instantly, and then get trapped in a murder mansion. That’s all you need for a giallo masterpiece really.

Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell : An alien invasion that goes super hard. A plane crashes due to alien interference, and the survivors are faced with just... the scariest alien invasion of all time. This movie fucks.

Island of Terror : Lil goo monster that kills you the moment it touches you. It feels like they were trying to do a Lovecraft thing, and it’s quaint and British with Peter Cushing.

The Majorettes : One of those late 80s slashers that just keeps on giving. The first fifteen minutes were hilarious enough, and then the third act happens. There’s a siege? On a trailer park? In my slasher?

Sometimes They Come Back... Again : Alexis Arquette (RIP) gives the performance of a lifetime as an undead thug who will fuck your daughter and your dad. Watch it for her.

Sweet Home : Nothing is quite like a Japanese ghost story. This one throws some slasher tropes in there, too, with very over-the-top kills. Then it lands the dismount. Give me a blu-ray now please.

Creature : Alien rip-off! Now hear me out. I am a sucker for those, but this is probably the best one in existence. Watch The Titan Find cut, as it’s the director’s preferred version, and I think it slaps.

Candy Corn : Why isn’t this a Halloween classic? It’s like Trick r Treat meets Dark Night of the Scarecrow. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s an incredibly good thing. Also, the kills are brutal.

Auntie Lee's Meat Pies : Auntie Lee has lots of BEAUTIFUL nieces who attract dumb men that she puts into delicious meat pies. Good for her, right? Some rockers in bad wigs show up and... predictably become pies.

Skinned Deep : If Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 had no limiters on. If they were ALL off. All of them. I mean, just all of them. Warwick Davis is having the time of his life here. And Surgeon General’s mask is made out of what you ask? Boyfriend material.

Werewolves on Wheels : A biker gang stumbles across a cult having a ritual. This makes them become werewolves. And that’s awesome.

Distortions : Olivia Hussey and Piper Laurie attempt to out act one another while both going completely out of their minds. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.

Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge : When you’re such a simp for The Phantom you’ll watch a hunky version kick ass underground in a mall. Also, it’s a good slasher. With Pauly Shore being... actually a fun character.

The Marsh : A children’s book writer moves to the country to rest and get inspired. Then ghost shit starts happening. Trust me, this movie goes around some bends I didn’t expect, and it’s really worth taking the ride. We love a good ghost mystery in this house.

Dead and Buried : The story kicks off with a photographer getting set on fire at the beach by an angry mob. And it doesn’t get less weird. Definitely more weird. It blew my mind, and I didn’t think that was possible after all I’ve seen. With Robert Englund before he was Freddy.

Clearcut : Native American horror. This one is all about Graham Greene playing Arthur, a gleefully violent fellow with a lot of secrets. I kept thinking of Severen in Near Dark. The performance is that good, yes.

Satan's Triangle : Made for TV movie about the Bermuda Triangle. But also the devil. With an ending that I’ll never stop thinking about.

Night Shadow : A werewolf movie! Where the werewolf and some lady have a psychic connection. I think. I mean, I guess. And her brother knows kung-fu, but doesn’t use it to fight the werewolf. Some bad choices were made, but ultimately it’s a good-bad time.

Tales from the QuadeaD Zone : From the maker of Black Devil Doll From Hell comes... this! A horror blaxploitation anthology that really... It really is real. Also, what’s a QuadeaD? Dunno. And that’s not a typo. That’s how it’s spelled. Watch this. You’ll thank me. Or hunt me down, not sure which.

Alien Predators : A horror comedy that is heavy on the goofball antics and low on the scares. But damn if those antics aren’t cuter because it’s Dennis Christopher partaking in them!

Too Beautiful To Die : A late 80s giallo full of fucked up shit, a crazy murder weapon, and giallo’s favorite victim: fashion models. And I need to say 80s one more time to emphasize the true magic of this film. Okay, one more time: 80s!

All-American Murder : Christopher Walken. Ahem. Oh, you needed me to say something else? Well, murders. And lots of silly, silly, silly dialogue. And Walken gets to say a lot of it, too.

The Killer Is Still Among Us : Another giallo. This one is all about the ending. I find a lack of resolution to be one of the scariest thing a horror film can do. Very effective.

Slime City : A man has to eat people to keep from melting. It’s a tale as old as time. He goes full goblin mode by the end. Good old-fashioned melt movie.

Flesheater : Directed by the guy who played the first zombie in Night of the Living Dead. The cemetery one. Not sure why that made him qualified to direct a film, and when you watch it, you’ll see that it didn’t. But that’s why it’s good. Because it’s amazingly bad. Also, directed The Majorettes from up there, if that’s any indication of what you’re getting into.

All About Evil : Directed by Peaches Christ, this is an absolute love letter to horror cinema. Right down to the very theaters the movies play in. Cassandra Peterson stares at an Elvira poster. It’s that kind of movie.

I, Madman : There need to be more movies like this. About the power of stories to come alive. One minute you’re reading a book. The next minute, the book is happening to you. Stars Jenny Wright, who deserved a better career.

Grotesque : Linda Blair versus a gang of punks. Oh, excuse me. Punkers. That was one of my favorite parts, that they insisted on calling them punkers. Home invasion that goes completely WTF by the end. WTF endings are a theme with me.

Hell High : A group of high school outcasts decide to terrorize their teacher. Not realizing a nudge will make her go postal. This movie is way better than it has any right to be, quite frankly.

The Untamed : A Mexican SF horror film that is all about sex. It’s not SEXY. It’s ABOUT sex. And the need for it, the way it wrecks relationships, addiction to it, cheating, not being able to be true to yourself about your own identity or needs. It’s a lot. I love it.

Death To Metal : I love to see heavy metal horror alive and well. An evil priest gets a toxic waste makeover and decides to take out his religious frustrations in a local dive hosting a rock concert. It’s low budget and full of love.

Tropic of Cancer : Giallo! Again! With voodoo. Not accurate voodoo, don’t ever look for that in a horror film. But with magic and antics is what I really mean. And those antics are quite wild and fun.

Final Judgment : Brad Dourif as a priest with a gun trying to catch a serial killer. Also, lots of strippers. If nothing about that makes you want to watch it, may I check your temperature?

The Mangler : One of those bottom-of-the-barrel Stephen King adaptations with so much to give. Directed (well, in part, it sounds complicated) by Tobe Hooper. Starring Ted Levine. With an absolutely gigantic, evil, designed-by-Dracula laundry press.

Deep Blood : I haven’t seen every Jaws ripoff known to man. But why do I have the feeling this is the worst? If you want to relax with friends and laugh heartily over a multitude of poor choices and production mistakes, have I got the movie for you.

Identity : How unknown is this? I mean, it has John Cusack and Ray Liotta in it. But I still feel like no one talks about it. Still needs way more love. And Then There Were None, but twists galore. And lots of great, fun performances.

Retribution : A man attempts suicide right as a murder is taking place. The soul of the victim enters him and uses his body to exact vengeance. With a fantastic performance from Dennis Lipscomb and a lot of heart.

The Devil's Men : Priest Donald Pleasence versus cult leader Peter Cushing. In a fight to the death. With a minotaur there as well. Place your bets!

The Stone Tape : Do you like Halloween III? The same guy wrote this. It has a similar blending of technology and the supernatural. And the supernatural tends to win in those scenarios...

Benny Loves You : This is a flawed movie, but one thing is for certain: Benny is perfect. Benny loves us, and you’ll love him, too. A killer toy movie that’s a cut above the rest.

It! (1967) : Of course, I had to include the year, because, no, I’m not talking about one of the most popular horror stories of all time. I’m talking about Roddy McDowall (doing a Psycho) and a golem. And murderous hijinks!

Wind Chill : I know Christmas is over at the time of writing this, but this was a fantastic, underrated Christmas horror. A guy and a girl drive home from college in the snow and get stuck. Where a lot of people have gotten stuck before. And died.

The Shuttered Room : We’re in Lovecraft country here. Yog Sothoth doesn’t show up, but a lot of other gothic trappings sure do. People locked up in attics. Getting harassed by locals who are itching to say YOU AIN’T FROM AROUND HERE, ARE YA? Covered in a layer of creepy sweat. With Oliver Reed!

The Dead Hate The Living : Gotta end on a total banger. An independent film crew gets a little too zealous in making their horror flick and unleashes zombies upon themselves. With a ton of shoutouts and horror nerding, enough even for little old me.

That does it! These are always a labor of love for me, and I hope there are those of you out there that get some mileage out of this.

#horror #horror films #horror movies #horror recommendations #horror recs

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finiffy · 8 months

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Been a while since I’ve appeared. Have the weird-ass fucking dream I had last night:

Don’t remember much, just sort of wandering around a meat processing plant or something (I was super not supposed to leave for some reason)? I left, a couple years pass or whatever (it’s blurry because it’s a dream), then I go to a similar place with my family for fuckall or whatever, I end up wandering around more, then find this evil lady in the back where I remembered an exit being. Evil lady is all "oh I see you’ve managed to pass my heat class" (as in an academic class focusing on the subject of heat) and I was like "man I was just wandering around sorry dude" and left

Then it transitions into a weird sort of minecraft world thing, like it’s a server that only was brought online recently and everyone was laying claim to their spots and stuff like people in a minecraft server normally do. I passed up a village thing to continue exploring, then come back just as another guy (a guy named Blake from elementary through high school) snatched it and I got all salty so I kept exploring

Dunno exactly what happened next, but I found a really nice lagoon area but it was cut off by the world border and I was mad

Something about neighbor’s younger sister getting pregnant

Then evil lady shows up again as some evil mermaid but still with legs, this time she’s giant, starts yelling a bunch of reckoning shit and doing Big Monster Things

I guess I’m supposed to be a fish now

Run to the world border, phase through it (I’m invisible now??) and then me and someone else shackle her to a bathtub/toilet thing and I beat her relentlessly with a fancy painting

Not sure what happens next, but it lasts a while and it has something to do with meeting a guy in a desert who harvests tarps from an ancient temple for a living (apparently I also live in a different desert and I Really Need to water my plants which I have been away from for too long)

Somehow I end up Very Far from my desert home in a sort of Northwest coast bay area, I wander around for a while (finding an abandoned school full of candy corn and another meat processing plant thing) until I find two random guys to help me get back

Something about a hamster living in the closet

The two dudes enslave an alien bug to teach them how to punch a dead xenomorph until its blood goo turns into a flying car seat, which I then use to fly over the bay and back to my desert

There’s also something about fishing from the flying car seat using my face like a goddamn bird or something

I get back to my desert, my plants are fine, and then something involving the evil lady happened again, at which point my alarm went off

I’m definitely forgetting some pivotal plot points but since it’s a dream I give up

Make of this what you will

-⏱

H...uh..you really remember much more of your dreams than me, also that sounds so fucking wild-

#fin answers #⏱ anon #long post

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kilannad · 10 months

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As the Stars Burn On Chapter 33

Masterlist. Ao3. Discord.

The Fragments of Time

Sunny was a beauty. Franky had truly reached into the soul of the Straw Hats and created the perfect ship for them. The first few days of sailing were like a weird fever dream, where everyone was uncertain of the new reality. Lucy had to figure out what an actual relationship looked like--spoiler, it was exactly what they'd been doing just with more sex--while Robin readjusted to her place, fully confident that her crew would always come for her. Franky fit in like a puzzle piece, another member added to their ranks and welcomed wholeheartedly. As the days went by and they started sailing once more the whole crew fell back into rhythm. Which of course meant craziness--a Coup de Burst had sent them once more into a Navy base, though this one much easier to escape from--and, as always, the quiet times that made them who they were.

☉

Lucy settled against Sunny's railing near the figurehead, sun warming her skin as she cracked open a good book. It'd been ages since she'd had the chance to simply read and while she loved the library, she enjoyed the sun. For a little while, everything was perfect; Gajeel, Usopp, and Franky were making something explode below deck; Nami was drawing maps with Robin for company in the library; Sanji and Zoro were arguing; and Lily and Laxus were speaking with Chopper about his monster point. Luffy, in his usual way, rocketed his way over the deck and onto the sunflower--lion, maybe--figurehead. With their whole crew back together, she had no worries in the world. Which is why she startled so badly when Luffy of all people sounded small and confused.

"Lucy?"

She set her book aside, immediately concerned. Luffy didn't do small or confused--well, okay, he occasionally did confused very well but not like this. Not when he was staring at his straw hat, flipping it through his hands with a far off look in his eyes. It might have been the first time he'd sat there without looking towards the horizon. Whatever was on his mind wasn't something simple.

"Yes, Luffy?"

"Why do you have sex?"

Her brain hit the brakes; it went out one ear, did a few cartwheels, then came back in to restart. The words sex and Luffy had never connected together before and she wasn't sure she wanted them to this time. It occurred to Lucy, vaguely, that the captain was a seventeen year old boy--when she'd been seventeen, she'd already started experimenting with porn and lingerie. For Luffy it just seemed...alien to his character.

When she woke up this morning, she certainly hadn't expected this.

Setting her book gently to the side, Lucy heaved herself up and, gently pausing for Luffy's permission first, climbed up next to him. He scooted to let her have more room, but that wasn't really necessary; Sunny was huge, her head included.

"What brought this on?" He only shrugged at her question, still playing with the hat. She was so far out of her depth she didn't even know where to begin. For her, she'd discovered sex through books, learning everything she knew by hunting out the information. It would've been unseemly for a lady like her to be interested in such things, which had been what mostly fed her desire to learn. For Luffy, though, who cared so little for that sort of thing and left the world to teach him what he needed to know, giving him a book would be the worst thing she could do. Honestly, this was probably a conversation better had with Laxus or Gajeel--certainly not Sanji--but Luffy had come to her, so she had to figure something out.

Well, shit. She had to give him The Talk.

"Well," she started, clearing her throat. "Do--Luffy, do you know what sex is?"

"Yeah. Sabo explained it to me an' Ace."

"Who's Sabo?"

The straw hat crinkled a little in his grip before it smoothed out. "He was our brother."

Was. Well, fuck. This had just become a bigger minefield than before. "Did he explain the...emotional aspect, or just the physical."

Luffy scrunched up his face. "He taught us how it worked and when I said it sounded gross he said that we'd want it when we really liked someone."

"Okay." Lucy scrambled for something to say to that. While she never would have said it ten minutes ago, she suddenly desperately wanted the marines to attack them. "Well. Have you ever liked someone?"

"Of course! I like you, and Zoro and Robin and Nami and Usopp--"

"Not like nakama," Lucy clarified. "Like...like I like Gajeel and Laxus."

He stuck his tongue out. "Why would I? That's a you and Gajeel and Laxus thing. Shanks didn't like Makino the way you like them, or Sanji with Ace-"

"I'm sorry, what?" Luffy stared at her blankly as if she was the crazy one. "Did something happen between Sanji and Ace?!"

"No? He wasn't here that long."

That was a can of worms she would touch later. Holyshit the drama on this crew.

"Setting that aside...While relationships are certainly different for every relationship, that's not really what I meant."

"But what does it mean?" he huffed. Despite the bizarre situation, Lucy found sympathy twisting her throat. This was clearly something bothering him, though she couldn't quite figure out why.

"How I feel with Laxus and Gaj--it feels different with them, then with the rest of our crew. With the crew there's love and camaraderie for sure, but with them there's another layer. When I'm with them there's a feeling of partnership in life that isn't present with you or Nami. They're the sort of people I imagine sharing a bed with--sometimes with sex, sometimes just to hold each other--or having kids or any of those other things that you think of when you think of the people you know in romances. They're just...I'm in love with them instead of just loving them, if that makes sense."

He chewed on his lip, eyes lifting to the horizon line. Lucy thought it was his favorite spot on the ship because he was always looking forward, always ready for the next adventure. She had never considered that Luffy had his moments of introspection; a dumb assumption, considering he was probably the most empathetic person she knew.

"I don't think I've ever felt that."

"That's okay," Lucy assured immediately. "Some people never find someone like that; that doesn't mean they don't live happy lives. Some people don't want romance, and that's okay too. Maybe someday you'll find someone and want that closeness or maybe not."

"I still think sex is gross."

She couldn't help it; she laughed. "That's okay. Maybe you're asexual."

"What's that?"

Lucy bit her lip, leaning back to count the clouds. Trying to explain gender and sexual identities to Luffy might be more than she could handle. Actually, now that she thought about it, did Terra even have the same labels as Earthland? The queer movement was about three hundred years old, but it had taken them a long time to develop the sort of community they had modernly, to say nothing of the organization it took on a continental scale. Besides, lacrimas and magic had played a huge role, both things Terra just didn't have. With how broken up society and cultures were in Terra, she didn't think it was possible for them to have as many centralized social movements as Earthland did. Not to mention the World Government actively blocking any social change anyway.

"Back home," she started slowly, carefully picking her words. "For a long time, we didn't have words for the kinds of people we had. Some people were women who liked women, some were men who liked men, sometimes people liked both and weren't a man or a woman."

"Like Bon Clay," Luffy cheered. "He's an okama."

"Exactly! Okama is the Terra word for a cross-dressing man who likes other men sexually. In Earthland we had a lot of words for a lot of different people. Asexual is the word for people who don't want to have sex with anyone, no matter the gender."

"Oh." For once, Luffy didn't call it a mystery word, which actually made her think he was trying to process it. "So there's people who never have partners?"

"Well, yes. But those are aromantics; people who don't want or feel romantic desire. You can have a romance without having sex and vice versa."

He scrunched up his face, which probably meant she was getting too complicated. "The point I'm making, Luffy, is that you don't need to worry if you think sex is gross; lots of people do."

Like a switch flipped, he grinned that same bright, impossibly wide smile. "Shishishi. You're really smart, Lucy."

☉

Nami ran the brush through her hair, gently pulling out any knots until it was silky smooth. Living on a ship meant giving up a lot of things, but damn if she'd give up having nice hair, no matter what the water and wind had to say about it. Robin slipped down the steps, letting the door fall shut above her. Lily and Chopper were on first watch, leaving the rest of the crew to turn in for the night. Slipping on the soft silk of her pajamas was paradise, the sweet feather mattress nearly swallowing her as she finally laid down. Robin hummed a little as she went about her evening routine, lulling Nami. It was strange to only have the two of them in the room after so long sharing with Lucy; weirder was the fact that they each had their own bed. They'd both taken the bottom bunks, leaving them across the room from each other at night. Sometimes, when Nami woke from nightmares, all she had to do was look over and see Robin's sleeping face to calm herself. After all, if the crew managed to declare war on the world and take her back successfully, then there was nothing that could stop them. Probably.

She could just make out the sound of Robin slipping between the sheets, skin on silk, and the quiet ruffling of her settling down. With the lantern put out, all that was left was the gentle dark and ever present rocking that she loved so dearly.

"So," Robin whispered, shattering her peace. "Would you like to tell me why you're ignoring Sanji?"

"I'm not ignoring Sanji," Nami contested loudly. She flinched at the volume, eyeing the emergency door to the men's quarters.

"Oh? Is that why you've spent the last few days hiding in the library with your maps?"

"I'm the navigator. Drawing maps is my job."

"To the extent that you aren't seeing Sanji except for mealtimes, during which you won't even look at him?"

Nami bit her lip, knowing she had no defense against the accusation; because she had been avoiding Sanji. Not on purpose, really, she just--she couldn't stand to look at him without remembering how he refused to fight Kalifa. It bothered her, for a lot of reasons, most of which she didn't really know how to put to herself.

Robin sighed a little, shifting in the dark. Nami turned towards the center, making out the faint outline of her body. Light trickled through from the overhead door, just faint beams that let them see a little.

"Nami. Whatever the problem is, ignoring it won't make it go away. Trust me, I've tried."

Nami couldn't deny that--she'd been giving Lucy shit for avoiding dealing with Laxus and Gajeel, to say nothing of how Robin hadn't trusted the crew with her past. Still, she thought it'd make her sound like a crazy person to say it.

"Did you hear? About how he protected me from Kalifa?"

"That sounds like him. It bothers you that he stepped in?"

"No. It bothers me that he wouldn't protect himself. She was trying to kill him and all he'd do was block and redirect. He didn't even try to counterattack!"

Robin hummed a little. "He hasn't been quiet about how he sees women. You've never seemed to have a problem with it."

"It's bullshit," Nami hissed. "He says he wants us to be happy and safe, but he's more worried about being a perv and keeping his own honor than fighting."

"Nami."

It wasn't much, but the rebuke hurt. Nami deflated, picking at the edges of her pillow. That was unfair to Sanji and she knew it. It was just frustrating, to know how powerful he was and yet see him willfully lose to any woman, even if that meant his own death. For the life of her, she couldn't figure it out.

"I don't want him getting hurt," she finally murmured. "And okay, maybe his pervert tendencies bother me a little."

"Have you considered talking to him?"

"How? 'I know you have a strict code of honor but won't you bend it for me, pretty please?' I might be a bitch, but I'm not a monster. I wouldn't ask Lucy to kill or Zoro to disobey Luffy's orders; how can I possibly ask Sanji to change who he is?"

"There is a difference between asking someone to change who they are, and setting boundaries," Robin pointed out.

Nami breathed out a little sigh, turning to stare at the ceiling. "I don't know if I can," she admitted. "After all the years with Arlong that I spent just...going along with people, using who they were to my benefit, I haven't set a boundary since I was eight. I don't even know how, anymore. And if I tried, I'd probably just end up yelling."

"Would you like me to do it?"

"Doesn't that make me a coward?"

"No. It makes you someone who needs help. That is the point of nakama, yes?"

Nami laughed a little, relaxing into the soft bed. She thought about it, considering all the ways it could play out. Sanji, she knew in her heart, would hear her out. He might not be able to change it instantly, but he'd at least try his best. He would never make a woman uncomfortable on purpose; sometimes, he just lost sight of what was okay. Still, she didn't want to do it alone.

"Would it be wrong to ask you to do it with me?"

"Of course not."

"Really? It won't seem like we're ganging up on him?"

Robin laughed. "Let's ask Lucy to help. That way it'll seem more like a universal opinion rather than just you."

"Okay," Nami breathed. "I can live with that."

☉

Jonathan stood at the dock, ready to greet the incoming ships. Navarone had, tentatively, been allowed to continue, with the understanding that it'd be involved more as a weigh station. His first guest, unsurprisingly, was extremely high ranked and rather known for having a zero tolerance policy towards pirates and the sympathizers. At least it wasn't Akainu.

The massive marine--retired though he technically was--still had the same presence of unquestionable power he'd had the one time Jonathan had seen him before, when he'd just been a Commodore and the man an Admiral. Eleven and a half feet tall, with bright purple hair and a square jaw, he cut an intimidating figure. The bloody bandages hiding the stump of his arm did little to detract from that.

Jonathan saluted sharply as he stepped off the gangplank. "Kuroiude-"

"Drop the titles, Vice Admiral. I'm not an admiral anymore."

Interesting. Resentment for the institution or simply a strict sense of propriety? Rumor had it he'd wanted to leave the marines entirely when his wife and child had died, so perhaps the former.

"Of course, Zephyr. My apologies."

Behind the former admiral, two figures were helped off the ship by Jonathan's own medical team. He could just make out the massive Marine flag covering a stack of what he guessed were bodies. While the ship had been populated by mostly cadets and seaman recruits, it was a shocking sight to know that someone--anyone--could get past a former admiral long enough to slaughter the whole ship and remove the admiral's arm to boot.

Jonathan, too well trained and too intelligent to stare at any one part for long, smoothly continued talking. "Would you like to see medical first, or get debriefed?"

"Debrief can wait," he grunted. "Just send out a notice to HQ. The Surgeon of Death's bounty needs to be doubled."

Trafalgar Law did this? Perhaps his ego had been hurt by the Straw Hats' showing and was trying to prove himself better than them. This generation was truly turning out to be awful. "Consider it done, sir."

☉

Paulie stood in the doorway to Iceburg's office, staring at the stacked papers, the half drawn blueprints, the tossed plans. He'd been so caught up in building the ship for the Straw Hats, that he'd forgotten about the elections. He'd been surprised at the results, though Tilestone and Lulu had just laughed at him. Just because he was Vice President didn't mean he was ready to take over Iceburg's shoes. He'd been an inspiration to Paulie for over a decade and the thought of him gone, never again to bring home some strange pet, made his chest ache.

He skated his fingers over the worn wood, collapsing into Iceburg's chair. It felt wrong, sitting here instead of lounging across the couch, bitching about his clients and his debt. He moved the papers, unwilling and unable to bear going through them now. One piece fluttered to the ground. Groaning, he bent to pick it up, eyes catching at the half done schematic. It was a full blueprint, just the idea stages. It was enough for Paulie to understand what Iceburg had been trying to do though.

"You crazy son of a bitch," Paulie breathed. "You wanted to turn the island into a ship."

Unable to help himself, he pulled out his pencil and tools.

☉

Nami, with Lucy and Robin close on her heels, slipped into the kitchen. Usopp caught sight of them, cutting off in his story, before making a quick excuse to vanish. If there was one thing Nami always appreciated about him, it was that he could read a room. Sanji looked up from the stove at the sudden disappearance of his companion, eyes lighting up at the three ladies.

"Lovelies! What can I do for you? Something to drink? A beautiful snack for your beautiful selves?"

"Actually," Robin started, slipping into a seat at the table. Lucy and Nami followed suit, though Nami couldn't help picking at a thread on her shirt. "We came to talk."

"Of course! Whatever you need."

"Sanji," Lucy started kindly, but not without a note of steel in her voice. "We came to talk about you."

Finally, he stuttered, seemingly picking up on the energy. Turning off the stove, he set aside his ingredients and wiped his hands, settling against the countertop. Sanji's lips twisted into a slight frown, but he gave them his full attention.

Robin glanced at Nami, who continued to fidget in her seat. She didn't want to hurt Sanji's feelings but she also couldn't figure out a way to start that wouldn't sound like an accusation. Under her lashes, she sent a look towards Lucy.

Seas bless her, Lucy didn't hesitate to start. "I want you to understand that we love you Sanji. You're our nakama and nothing will change that."

Briefly, panic flitted over his face but he hid it behind another cigarette. His hands were shaking. "Of course, Lady Lucy."

"We'd like to know, though, why you refuse to fight women."

His eyes widened before hardening. "I will never kick a woman. You shouldn't have to fight-"

"That's not your choice!" Nami burst out. She tried to calm down and speak calmly, like Lucy, but her hands were shaking and every time she blinked, all she could see was Sanji, bloody and glistening like a doll. Sanji, hurt trying to protect her and refusing to help himself. Neither Lucy nor Robin tried to stop her. "We're pirates, Sanji. We might not enjoy the fighting like Zoro, or be monstrously strong like Laxus and Luffy, but we chose this life and we know what it means. You refusing to let us fight or pretending like every female enemy we have is some damsel is-" hurtful, shortsighted, moronic, dangerous, "-condescending!"

For a long second, the only sound in the room was Nami's heaving breath and the near silent burning of Sanji's cigarette. Gently, Lucy reached out and rubbed Nami's back; she hadn't even realized she'd stood up, planting herself against the table. Her eyes were wet and she couldn't figure out why. It had never bothered her before, not really. Sanji was Sanji and she'd lived with his womanizing and dumb honor for months without this being an issue.

"Oh Nami," he breathed. He didn't continue, words seeming to fail even him in the wake of her rant.

"We appreciate your care," Robin murmured softly. "But we tend to find your treatment of us...a tad insulting."

Sanji flinched, even the gentle words seeming like a harsh blow. For a second, he worked his jaw until, finally, he burst out, "I can't hurt a woman." Nami bristled, but he was staring at Lucy. "After my childhood, I can't. Not without losing myself."

Nami had no idea what he was talking about but Lucy seemed to. She reached out a hand and waited for him to step forward and take it, collapsing into a chair across from them. "Okay," Lucy said. "If this is something about--what we talked about last time, okay. But Sanji; you fucking terrified Nami when you didn't fight Kalifa. And while we didn't linger on it at the time, it was really hurtful when you said I shouldn't fight a priest on Skypiea."

"I'm sorry," he swore. "I am. I just...I hate seeing women hurt."

"Do you think we like seeing you hurt instead?" Nami rasped. She blinked rapidly, swallowing back tears. "Sanji, when will you get it? Men, women, it doesn't mean shit, not to us. Traveling the Grandline means we're going to get into fights and we need to know you'll trust us with that when the time comes."

He took a long pull on his cigarette, eyes downcast. "I can try. I don't like knowing you're in battle and I can't help, but I can try."

"That's all we ask," Robin soothed. "But while we're here-" she faltered, pursing her lips before simply choosing to rip the bandaid off, so to speak. "-while we're here, I'd also like to request you tone down your...intensity when it comes to your appreciation for women."

"I didn't know that bothered you."

"It's you, Sanji," Nami said. "We know that if we tell you no, you'll listen. But other women don't know you the way we do, and you can come off as intense."

"Really intense," Lucy agreed. "Just...you don't have to treat us like you do men, if you don't want to. But we'd like it if you treated women as people instead of just goddesses or objects of beauty or whatever else."

He blew out a smoke ring, letting it float in the air as he furrowed his brows. "Okay. Okay, if it bothers you, I can try." Sanji bit his lip, looking at all of them. "I have never wanted to make any of you uncomfortable."

"Oh Sanji." Nami came around and tugged him into a hug, burying her face in his shoulders. It said good things about their talk that he didn't immediately start freaking out. "We never feel safer than when you're with us. We just want to stand on our own power, sometimes."

"I still can't fight a woman," he admitted.

Nami breathed through her nose, tightening her hold on him. "Then call one of us. And we'll take that fight for you."

☉

"Captain?"

"What is it?"

"The first wave of prototypes is ready for field testing."

"Perfect."

#as the stars burn on #one piece fanfic #fairy tail fanfic #laxus dreyar #lucy heartfilia #gajeel redfox #laxus x lucy x gajeel

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sarsaparillia · 3 years

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you know what? fuck it. i’m gonna talk about this game because i love it and i want other people to give it a chance and hey maybe if other people give it a chance i will no longer have accidentally contributed quite literally thirty percent of the fandom’s fanfiction lmao

kingdoms of amalur is what dragon age inquisition wishes it was. there. i said it. it’s out there in the world, now, and you can fight me about it

here we go, friends:

everything that DAI does well? amalur does it better, with the sole exception of romance, because amalur is not about romance unless u count alyn shir whomst i love so much but honestly u cannot date her the way she DESERVES to be dated WHATEVER

but the thing is that amalur does not HAVE to be about romance. amalur is about hitting monsters very hard with a wildly fantastic array of weapons. amalur is about fate and choice and also, again, absolutely shredding shit into pieces. amalur is about treasure hunting and wars and sticking your nose into everyone else’s business in a way that i have only ever seen one (1) champion of kirkwall pull off in a way that works.

amalur has the best fucking take on Truly Weird Immortals that i’ve ever seen

like, listen, i cannot talk enough about how ABSOLUTELY BONKERS the fae are in this game. these writers REALLY LEANED IN to what a culture of creepy nature fuckers who do not die so much as regenerate would look like. interacting with the fae is fucking UNCOMFORTABLE in a lot of instances, because of how ABSOLUTELY GODDAMN ALIEN they are. amalur’s fae put literally every other immortal race in every other video i’ve ever played to fucking shame!!!!! i LOVE it!!!

yes, the human/elf NPC models can be a little weird-looking; they’re ugly in a way that real people are ugly, which i like, actually, but not everyone is like me. but honestly, it’s the backgrounds in this game that make it. it’s like walking through every single fairy dream you had as a child come to life. you want red-earth deserts? detyre. you want ancient forests with trees so wide they make you feel like an ant? dalentarth. you want a rotting jungle on the ocean? klurikon. you want greece? there’s DLC for that, and also a bunch of god-chosen stone giants who spout greek poetry. there’s a whole island of undead pirates. there’s the plains of erathell, which are still recovering from a magical fairy war a thousand years ago called the godstorm. there’s alabastra, cold and beautiful and burned to pieces, ripped to jagged parts by the people who ought to have loved it best. there is GRIEF, because this is a war-torn country where things used to be stunning. like, man, what i would not GIVE to see alabastra in its prime, just fucking LOOK at this shit:

and that doesn’t even begin to get into the fact that this game, playing as a woman, is.... gay. it’s gay, y’all!!! it’s so gay that i don’t always know how to handle it!!!

and like sure, that’s because it was definitely coded with a male-player-character in mind, but they just... never removed those lines, playing as a woman? so you wander around and you get hit on constantly, and given that i am personally gay as all hell, this delights me. but the inverse of this is that the one male character who DOES hit on you also hits on you as a dude. i love grim onwig, that’s all there is to it.

it’s a loneliner game, in some ways-- more like skyrim. you run around, you buy or are given houses, you die a bunch of times to the FUCKING ettins in ettinmere, god i hate those fucking ettins, two-headed giant blue bastards who definitely kill and eat you. they are so rude. you fall DEEPLY in love with adessa and wish you could play as a gnome; ysa is the most incredible city in the game, i’ve truly never seen anything like it.

and yeah, in some ways, it falls prey to exactly all of the problems early aughts’ RPG’s did. it can be repetitive, a lot of fetch-quests, a lot of “mother of god, THIS AGAIN”

and yet. AND YET.

i’ve poured four hundred hours into this game, and every single time i start a new play, i find quests and stories that i somehow managed to miss the other times i’ve played it. the NPCs all have very distinct personalities, which is a goddamn feat, given how many of them there are. pick any single character with speaking lines, and they’ll be distinct unto themselves. and i mean that-- even the random characters in taverns, every single shopkeep, anyone and everyone you speak to, all of them. they say things and you go “hold on what the FUCK”, even when there’s no quest behind them. the depth of worldbuilding that went into this game is INSANE; these writers really, really loved what they were creating, and that shines through in every single moment you play

please give it a chance. it’s really, really worth it. i leave you with the empty court of the winter king, because the first time i stepped into it, it felt like coming home.

#kingdoms of amalur #PLAY MY STUPID FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME AND COME TALK TO ME ABOUT IT #video game rec #an unedited word-vomit that's all this is #we're also not gonna go into the legal controversies surrounding BugHuge and 38 Studios #like that's irrelevant to what the game actually is #anyway #sara watches things

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defectfile1wav · 3 years

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Once again, I’m here to remain all of you, that If you think c!Slimecicle is a replacement for Ghostbur you’re losing one of the best and terrifying experiences ever in the SMP.

/CW: Mentions of: Dead animals/ Death / Vore / Torture / AND: Swearing / Ranting / meta (??) and bad English

COMPARING THESE TWO, IT’S LIKE COMPARING THE BEACH WITH THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA.

One thing is a vacation place, the other is a terrifying place that will murder me.

When I said that I am terrified of Slimecicle, I MEAN IT. As cc!Charlie has said in his last video:

“A thousand century old glop trying to learn what means being human”

IT’S LIKE JUST A CONCEPT THAT JUST GIVES SO MUCH HORROR. Ghostbur was naive, it was, Slimecicle is naive in human things, he’s a SLIME, not a dead person with sense of humanity, he’s going to murder someone in the blink of an eye and I can feel it in my skin.

Ghostbur was a person, he was a person, an adult, with memory lose, naive, BUT HE’S HUMAN. HE HAD HUMANITY. HE HAD A SOUL. He did some weird shit sometimes, but what was the worse he could cause? A salmon dead? A confused laugh? A weird look?

c!Charlie is a monster. AN ALIEN, IF YOU WISH, BUT NOT THE FRIENDLY HITMAN PURPLED.

A dog alone is a dog, with two is a different history. I KNOW IT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN DOGS, really inoffensive dogs, BECOMING DEATH MACHINES WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER. HUNTING LITTLE ANIMALS FOR FUN, CATS, EVEN OTHER DOGS, BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. And they don’t realize it’s wrong, because THEY ARE ANIMALS.

Slimecicle is an animal.

When he fails at being a human, and he will, and he decides that pretending to be a human isn’t worth it for whatever he wants, WE ARE DEAD. I know that maybe that won’t happen, because cc!Charlie is more a funny guy (he goes into some dark shit sometimes, but he always come back to the funny content), but that idea has been in the back of my head for days now.

You know, that idea that maybe Ghostbur was evil? Because he said he liked red ONCE. Guess what, Slimecicle he’s an animal, AN ANIMAL DOESN'T HAVE CONTEXT OF WHAT IT’S EVIL OR GOOD, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ANIMALS DO, WHAT DECISION PROCESS THEY TAKE? SURVIVAL. HE’S TERRIFYING. When he realizes that he’s more powerful than the others, that he can whatever he wants, when he decides that playing “human” are not worth it. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE VORE IN THIS HOUSE, AND I’M NOT READY FOR THAT AGAIN. YOU THOUGHT TORTURE IS BAD? BE READY WHEN THIS BEAST STARTS EATING KIDS ALIVE.

Every time that I saw him in the screen I’m anxious, I’m anxious for any character that makes contact with him. I was so worried about Tommy, for Purpled, for Connor, even Quackity.

Quackity is controlling him for now, he gained a pretty good weapon, but if he loses control, I’m certain he will end up death or worse.

ALSO, HE KNOWS SO MUCH. SO MUCH. Ghostbur, love him, WAS A FORGETFUL INNOCENT SOUL THAT WASN’T ABLE TO ACCEPT CHANGES, GHOSTBUR FORGET THINGS. CHARLIE DOESN'T. HE KNOWS SO FUCKING MUCH.

You know how fucking scary is that a slime with human bones, that you NEVER had seen in your life, addresses by YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS. HE KNOWS WHERE YOU’RE FROM, WHERE YOU LIVE.

HE KNOWS DREAM, HE KNOWS TOMMY, HE KNOWS WILBUR, HE KNOWS L’MANBERG, HE KNOWS THE WHOLE HISTORY, WITHOUT ANY BIAS, BECAUSE HE’S A MONSTER THAT HAS BEING WATCHING EVERY MOVE FROM THE DARK.

He’s a slime.

FEAR HIM.

PURPLED IS IN THE RIGHT MIND TO BE HOSTILE WITH HIM, TO ASK WHY HE HAS BONES THAT AREN’T FROM HIM, FUNDY IS VALID TO BE SCARED OF HIM.

IF HE HAS SEEN ALL THE HISTORY WITHOUT BEING SEEING, WHY IS CHOOSING TO BE SUCH BAD SPY NOW?

WHY NOW. What happened, what’s the reason for THIS THING TO WANT TO BE A HUMAN? WHY NOW? What is he planning? Why he chose to show himself to Quackity first? To be his best friend? WHY.

WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT HE IS NOT JUST A “SLIME BOY” IT WILL BE TOO LATE.

“And then one day, history itself will fall by the wayside and give way to the inevitable“ Slimecicle

I’m so scared, AND I LOVE IT.

Argh, I love you Charlie, the lore is so good, I swear.

Maybe I am reading to much into it, but it’s my shit.

#dsmp #dream smp #tw dead animal #tw death #tw vore #tw torture #tw swearing #tw ranting #meta #slimecicle #slimecicle dsmp #slimecicle dream smp #ghostbur #ghostbur dream smp #dsmp ghostbur #ghostbur dsmp #i am so afraid #its awesome

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saanphoenix · 3 years

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“Why do so many old-school FFVII fans think that Cloud took Zack’s memories?”

Alright, so first things first. We gotta start from the beginning. We gotta start with Jenova.

Jenova is the name given to the alien entity known as the Calamity. “Heaven’s dark harbinger.” This being, assumed to be female because of the body she was in at the Crater, was basically godlike in her natural abilities. Historically, she was able to shapeshift. She was telepathic. She had a nigh indomitable will. And she used her abilities to infect the race of human(oid)s that happened upon her crash site--the Cetra.

Now, Ifalna, within the English translation of the OG, states that Jenova turned the Cetra into monsters, nearly wiping them all out, and that the wee few that remained basically had to be sacrificed to seal Jenova away before she could do anymore damage to all life on the planet. The notes Sephiroth finds within the Shinra Mansion seem to corroborate this version of events, as he tells Zack that the Cetra chose to fight the Calamity while the other humans “hid”, thus being spared Jenova’s shenanigans, allowing them to become the dominant race on the planet, but ultimately being cowards unworthy to be the shepherds of any star, to quote Emet-Selch from FFXIV. Stay with me now.

We also know that the notes Sephiroth reads within the Shinra Mansion do not, in any way, call Jenova the Calamity. They still refer to her as a Cetra. Meaning that those notes are outdated, before the discovery of a living Cetra, a Cetra who is 2000 years removed from her own people’s history. Right? So.

(’Ah, but what about Genesis point-blank telling Sephiroth the truth? He knew what was up!’ Yes, because Hollander and Hojo found out from Gast’s recordings, and Ifalna herself, what Jenova actually was, and then Hollander told Genesis, who then said some stupid ass shit to trigger Sephiroth into looking into the wrong information, and now Nibelheim is not Nibelheim anymore and Cloud is missing one more family member than he was when he joined Shinra. Also, fuck Genesis. Anyway.)

HOJO, yeah? Hojo, in two separate novels written by Nojima himself, states to Aerith and Tseng separately that Jenova 1) will inevitably infect all life on the planet with her “cells” because of the very nature of the Lifestream and 2) turned the Cetra against each other via subtle manipulation and illusions of their loved ones, dead or alive, conceived from their own memories. She didn’t show up looking like the Eldritch horror with the eyeball nipple, she showed up looking like a run-of-the-mill Cetra. And she would further disguise herself as people a Cetra knew in order to gain their trust. And then, after she had gained that trust, she would say shit like, “Hey. Your friend over there hates you,” or, “Hey. Your friend over there wants to kill you.” And thus the Cetra, at the very least morally but probably also physically, became monsters and tore themselves apart.

You ever wonder why everything the Cetra had was booby-trapped and hidden behind riddles and self-sacrificial bullshit like their Temple? My guess is because Jenova made it so they couldn’t trust anyone, even themselves.

“Why did I read all that? What does that have to do with Cloud voring Zack’s memories?”

Because we gotta understand the mechanics of this bitch first so that we know what to look out for.

Now, we have an alien in stasis--presumed dead but definitely not--and a buncha scientists who really want a coveted spot sucking President Shinra’s dick as head of the Science Dept. who all think that taking the genetic material of a Cetra and splicing it into a modern-day human’s DNA will give them a Geiger counter to the Promised Land. Which they want to use as fuel because only some of them really understand what mako is and the others are just fucking stupid. Anyway, my guess is that they archeology their way to Jenova’s still-kinda-alive corpse and do some DNA testing and go, “Ah! We’ve found a Cetra. It has to be one! She’s by the crater, after all, and that’s where some of them were nuked by a Meteor! :) We’re geniuses!” And Jenova, in the Lifestream, went, “GOTCHA, BITCH!”

And through the power of dino DNA, out pops a lot of nonviable lifeforms, some monsters, and, eventually, a relatively normal kid with a flare for the dramatic who will become wholly obsessed with apples and very boring literature that he will insist on repeating every five goddamn seconds. As he was no Geiger counter to the Promised Land, out pops another relatively normal kid who will grow up to have dreams, and honor, and steal food from his neighbors because he was so damn honorable that he just could not ask for a handout.

With Hollander and Gillian’s experiments not producing anything of note other than children that need love and support, Hojo and Lucrecia decide to take a slightly different sample of Jenova’s cells and just start sticking them everywhere. They’re in Lucrecia. They’re in Lucrecia’s fetus. And...something strange starts to happen.

Lucrecia starts to feel the effects of Jenova. Lucrecia’s mind and body start to kind of deteriorate. Not the way that Genesis’ and Angeal’s do later on, but she is plagued by shit like severe depression and fatigue. She falls out on the floor multiple times. Her bodyguard is a little late on pulling the trigger of the gun aimed at her husband and, instead of doing anything productive about her husband proving he’s an amoral murderous fuckhead, she just decides to play doll with her kinda undead bodyguard, get even sicker, and then, finally, pops out a very strange looking baby. In fact, he looks a little alien.

“No, seriously, what does this have to do with anything?”

Genetics. How Jenova cells work. Whatever clump of cells they injected into Lucrecia, clearly different from those used in Project G, seemed to focus more on the mental fuckery aspect of Jenova than the physical, shapeshifting aspect of Jenova. I would also argue that one of the reasons Lucrecia was so adversely affected by the cells and Gillian was not is their mental well-being. Gillian, even when we meet her, seems very upbeat and doing pretty okay despite her husband having died from exhaustion a coupla years back. Lucrecia was depressed and very subservient even before she married Hojo. Losing her mentor--Vincent’s father--probably exacerbated that. And, later in Advent Children, that sort of mentality--hopelessness and despair--is what Sephiroth’s Geostigma feeds off of. That and thoughts of death/dying. But that is more speculation than anything.

So, Sephiroth’s cells are different from Genesis’ and Angeal’s, and they were all three bred differently, but they’re all kinda chimeras of Jenova’s. And once Genesis learns about his origins, it’s like the lightbulb goes off. This guy’s creating clones by infecting his 2nd and 3rd Class SOLDIERs with his own cells. And when he does that, their physical appearance becomes his own. As does their will. Whatever Genesis wants, the clones also want. And then he just grows a wing for shits and giggles. Once he tells his BFF Angeal the sitch, behold! He’s got monster clones--maybe because he realizes how fucked up overwriting a human being with yourself is--and wings, too. ...Why?

The power to do all of this shit was always there. It was genetically always there. They just had to be made aware of it, to have the puzzle piece put into place. When Sephiroth dies, that puzzle piece is put into place. And then he starts fuckin’ with shit. And turns into monstrous angels. And then dies again. And then comes back and finally grows himself his own wing. He did it, fellas. He’s a big boy now.

But we’re not here to talk about Sephiroth--ignore how much I talked about Sephiroth and his mommies previously--we’re here to talk about ZACK and CLOUD.

“What’s up with Zack and Cloud?”

First, what we must realize is that even though Hojo says that both Zack and Cloud are failed clones because they 1) didn’t take on any physical characteristics of Sephiroth, 2) didn’t seem controlled by Jenova (or Sephiroth) and, 3) didn’t exhibit the other signs of a Reunion impulse like the other clones in Nibelheim that does not mean that Sephiroth’s cells, Jenova’s cells, are not working on them.

As we’ve observed in other 1sts, abilities do not always manifest immediately or even noticeably. Clearly, Sephiroth’s physical appearance is a bit of a hint, but Genesis and Angeal look pretty damn normal and, if it weren’t for their mako injections, they probably wouldn’t be showing that much of an increase in physical capabilities. Theoretically. Maybe 10-year-old Angeal had biceps the size of a man’s head. I mean. Pff.

Zack’s tolerance to Jenova was strong due to his previous exposure in the SOLDIER program. Cloud’s mind broke pretty early on. Neither of these results matter to the fact that they both now have Sephiroth’s cells within them--just as Genesis’ and Angeal’s clones had theirs--and that their very wills are now going to be affected by Sephiroth’s. But they are also going to be a little bit like him in terms of power.

Zack’s hair, when ingested by a Genesis clone, a clone of a Type-G SOLDIER, transforms that clone into a monster. Zack doesn’t even have to do anything. The Jenova/Sephiroth cells within his body can just Do That, cause that change in another life form, of their own accord. I’m honestly shocked that, whenever they gave Zack these S-cells, HE didn’t turn into a monster. But that’s neither here nor there. I wanna talk about Cloud.

Cloud has mako poisoning, which the Remake describes as his spirit/soul being stuck between his body and the Lifestream. Weird. Anyway, he’s not fully aware of his surroundings at all times, and he clearly can’t control his body that much. He somehow has the ability to kinda get his feet shuffling, and I’m going to go on a limb and say he can chew whatever food Zack gives him, but most of the time, he’s a puppet with cut strings.

But he is also still recovering from a mind break caused by Jenova cells. The same cells that are just chilling in his body, like they are in Zack’s. And all the months Zack is dragging his ass across a continent, an ocean, and another continent, they and Cloud are listening to whatever the fuck Zack is saying. Cloud is also constantly in physical contact with Zack.

In The Kids Are Alright: A Turks Side Story, Kadaj has the power to not only read surface thoughts and memories just by being near someone, but he can also read deeper ones by making physical contact with someone. Because Jenova. And Sephiroth, whose cells Cloud and Zack have, in the OG demonstrates that he, too, can glean thoughts and memories from others. Because Jenova.

If this power is a genetic trait, as it is with Genesis and Angeal, then, sitting pretty underneath their skin, Zack and Cloud have this ability. Dormant. Snoozing. Kinda like the 1st Class Trio’s wings.

But Zack has a high tolerance and a high ignorance to Jenova and just what he might be capable of. Cloud’s mind is floating in and out at best. He’s not in control of himself. And when you have a situation like that, it is very, very easy to come to the conclusion that Cloud’s Jenova cells are passively absorbing the memories of Zack’s time in Nibelheim. That they are knitting these memories together with what little remain in Cloud’s head. That when Tifa comes across Cloud at the train station and calls him by name and remembers who he is that Cloud’s Jenova cells latch onto those memories in Tifa--as Sephiroth tells them they did--and they knit those memories with Zack’s and Cloud’s and the end result is the man we get at the beginning of the OG.

Because Cloud has visual memory of shit he never saw. It’s not just a visual medium telling a visual story. You wanna know how I know that for a fact? Because, in the Remake, Cloud remembers Sephiroth walking up to Jenova’s tank in the reactor from Sephiroth’s perspective. He is looking through Sephiroth’s eyes, through his memory, up at “Mother.” In that moment in the Remake, Cloud is Sephiroth. He’s not Cloud anymore.

Cloud sees Sephiroth delivering the speech of being an Ancient. Cloud wasn’t there. Cloud didn’t see that. Zack did. That is Zack’s memory.

The man writing the Remake is the same man who’s been at the head of MOST FFVII writing. He was on the OG, he wrote Advent Children, he wrote the novels, he wrote Crisis Core, he’s writing the Remake. He knows what these cells can do because he’s crafted this world-building for decades.

Cloud didn’t take all of Zack’s memories. He didn’t need to. Kadaj, in the novel, doesn’t glean everything from someone right off the bat. Because he doesn’t need to. Only when he needs to learn something else does he go digging. The same is probably true for what Cloud’s cells most likely did to be able to know what he knows. Hell! Kadaj gets punched in the novel and he ACCIDENTALLY picks up the emotions and memories of the guy who punched him. He didn’t want ‘em but he got ‘em!”

There is evidence within the OG, and even more within the Compilation, that lend weight to the theory that Cloud unintentionally read Zack’s mind when it came to the events of Nibelheim.

For years, people have wondered, “How the hell does Cloud know that if he wasn’t there?” For years, people have wondered, “How can he use the Buster Sword if he was just a little grunt that used a gun all the time?” The logical answer is, “Because of his Jenova cells. They can just do that shit.”

#long post #ffvii #ffvii spoilers #zack fair #cloud strife #jenova #sephiroth #jesus christ i wrote a novel

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magpiie · 4 years

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Kidnapped by Baby Yoda pt. 3

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

hey guys pls lmk what you think and be honest!!! thank you so much for 80 notes holy fucking shit wowie

It's weird one day you're assisting teaching a class to a bunch of miscellaneous alien children on nevarro hating your life, and the next you're stuck on a ship with a mandalorian and his foundling who inexplicably decided he needed you to come.

“I'm going to talk to him today kid, believe me” you said to the lump of wool perched on your knee. Mando was out doing maker knows what, and you were left alone with the little guy like always. His big eyes gazed at you dubiously as if to say suuuuure. The amount of judgmental bitchy energy he could produce sometimes was astounding. “No really, i've been living here for what, uh 3 weeks maybe? And all we've really said to each other was the initial greeting and uh the exchange of names?” The last part trails off as you realize you don't even know his name. You said yours but he responded with telling you to call him Mando. So you didn't push it. You dont know alot about mandalorians considering they are almost extinct and their beliefs are often made to seem like folklore. But you do know that individualism and identity is not something particularly celebrated. So you decided to leave the amount of information he wants to share with you up to him out of respect. So far that's been none. “So, kid, how'd you break through his shell? He likes you?” the child just blinks unhelpfully. “I mean you never talk to him, but i've tried that and we saw how that went” literally radio silence from him. You don't particularly think of yourself as an extrovert who constantly needs interaction but you do need some. And currently you have the kid as a companion and if you didn't know any better you'd say Mando was a droid with how he acts. You also resolved that you needed to help out more. Basically you were a glorified babysitter and the idea that Mando was going to realize that he was better off without you on his ship as deadweight terrified you. You were a good cook, I guess you could say, but Mando always brought food back with him when he went out and then would hide in his room to eat in privacy. So that's not very helpful. The main thing that you could offer him was medical help. Back on Nevarro growing up you were the youngest of three older brothers. And considering your mother wasnt really in the picture, you had to take up the doctor role for the amount of fights three older boys could get into. You knew how to treat basically any external damage and how to sterilize and limit risk of infection. But how would you ever bring that up to mando if you guys didn't even greet each other in the mornings? Sometimes you would try to talk to him with something as simple as “good morning!” or “welcome back” or “night” or even just a simple “hey” sometimes he would bless you with a monosyllabic grunt but never anything more. But hey, you would take what you would get. After a week of this call and no response bullshit you kinda gave up and have spent the last two weeks in silence other than your episode this morning with the “good morning” fiasco. You feel your mortification settle back into your stomach at the fool you made of yourself. “Maker above, mando must hate me.” sometimes you wondered if he regretted asking you to come. But he doesn't really seem like the type of person to let you stay if you annoyed him. “Ok bug, here's the plan. What im gonna do is i will say hey when he comes back, sound good?” you look for confirmation from the creature and he gives you a slight tilt of his chin. Satisfied you continue, “and i will uhm say good night and good morning every day until he responds or tells me to shut up.” you finish with a huff of breath. This will either end with you finally finally getting to have real human interaction or left on some random ass planet god knows where.

Mando makes his way back to ship feeling the pebbles crunch beneath the heavy sole of his boot. This planet was a desert planet much like nevarro, he wondered if you missed home. Mean no shit she's probably homesick dumbass he thinks its not like he was doing anything to make the ship feel welcoming. Like talking to you. But you made the ship feel like a home for the kid and that's more than he could ever want. You probably didn't realize how much what you were doing meant to him. You made the kid happy, you were giving him something that mando never could, a mother figure. Mando tried his hardest to be what he thought was a father for the kid but it was hard. He had to go and work and it wasn't safe to bring a kid so he was often swept around to different planets and left for hours by himself waiting for mando to come back and it was hard on mando. But you, now you were there. And the kid was always safe with you. He should probably teach you some self defense he thought considering how dangerous being associated with him was especially considering you needed to protect the child. But honestly, mando had no idea if you knew how to protect yourself, you might, space is a dangerous world. He only knew that you were a teacher but that was it. Slightly alarming that he implicitly trusted you without any prior knowledge of you or your credentials. You could be a bounty hunter assigned to kill him for all he knew, or to steal the kid, but you probably would have done that by now. Mando didn't know what made you trustworthy to him. You just were. And that terrified him.

You're sitting in the cockpit with the child pretending to fly the ship as he gurgles happily in your lap. you giggle at the little guy and make finger guns and pretend to shoot an imaginary monster outside the window, “i'm the most fearsome bounty hunter in the guild,” the child lets out a particularly loud noise at that, “uhhh yes i am dont laugh at me, i am feared far and wide across the galaxy,” you tickle his sides with that one. youre so into playing with the kid you don't realize mando was back and is staring at you from the entryway to the cockpit. “You think i could take on your daddy, bug? You think it'd beat him in a shootout? Huh?” you say with your fingers poised and ready at the window.

“Not a chance,” says a deep voice that vibrates into the floor. You let out an embarrassing startled shriek and feel your heart do twenty somersaults and settle in your feet. The child screams at the interruption and immediately wiggles out of your grasp and waddles to Mando giddily.

“I-i i was uh joking, really i was,” you stutter out cringing at the incredulous tone your voice comes out as. Remembering your resolve to talk to him you continue on even though you feel like you might throw up your breakfast from nerves. “He misses you during the day,” gesturing to the child, “so i pretend to be you” you finish realizing that sounds super fucking creepy, “well not like- you- like- you, but i pretend to like uh pilot the ship and uh shoot um things?” you ramble lamely. A huff sounds from the mandalorian and if you allowed yourself to think wishfully it was laughter.

“Doesn't surprise me. Before you he came everywhere with me.” you feel your eyebrows raise. Everywhere? Shit.

“Must've been difficult to complete jobs and have to keep track of him,” you say nodding your head towards the little lump of brown wool. Mando offers you an affirmative grunt before setting the child down and turning on his heel towards the fresher. So that was an improvement, you think. Got ten whole words out of him. You feel a grin split your face. Hopefully this means you are past the dancing around each other relationship. And maker above, his voice, wow. If only you could wake up to that every morning. Deep and melodic. You wonder how deep and gravelly it sounds in the mornings. Or how your name would sound tumbling off his lips in pleasure. Nope. not going down that path. That is NOT platonic thoughts. You literally had your first conversation with him since the first day you met him and you're already thinking about that? Seriously pull yourself together. You don't even know what he looks like, or how old he is. Like what if he's like 70. And really ugly. What if your having sex dreams about someone like your grandpa. Ew. Your face contorts at the thought of Mando looking like your grandpa. Okay gross stop. You need to get to know him. Have civil conversations. Push down the gross thoughts. Even if his voice sounds like honey. And home.

You're sitting in the chair behind the pilot seat reading a random book Mando left out on the scattered floor. Its some type of mechanical manual so its truly riveting. Note the sarcasm. The child's asleep, and seeing as though mando is cooped up in his room this book is better than twiddling your thumbs mindlessly. You decided that if you were going to stay on mandos ship you should at least try to pick up some mechanic skills. Better than the rudimentary at best you had at the present moment. You knew how to fix blatant errors in engines and how to reconnect wires if the instructions were explained thoroughly and very slowly. Okay maybe you didn't really know anything past engines. But that was better than nothing? Kinda? You sigh closing the book after rereading the same sentences about pre-imperial versus post-imperial hyperdrives. Maker what was the difference? The both made the ship go super fast or something? Was that the hyperdrive? You shook your head feeling the thought start to culminate into a downward spiral of what a hyperdrive truly was. You looked around the cluttered hull and decided that you should probably occupy yourself by cleaning up the mess. Mando might appreciate it, it'll also make you less of a deadweight on the ship. It was crazy how much shit one man and his child could accumulate on one tiny ship. You don't think you had ever seen this many small metal bowls in one place. The stack currently in the corner probably contained about 12. In what universe would 2 creatures ever need the same bowls 12 times. Well you guess now it's three. The thought filled your chest with a balloon of warmth only to be popped by the realization that you weren't part of the little family mando and the child were. At best you were a business associate. The kids stand in caregiver. Babysitter.

The realization that you didn't have anyone to call family at your disposal fell heavy on your shoulders. Sinking you into the corner of the hull. You dont think youve ever felt more alone. In the cold corner of the hull with a hand pressed to your chest in an attempt to quell your ragged breaths. Like a small raft cast into the oceanic expanse of space. If you drowned, who would notice? Certainly not your family, they were maker knows where, probably light years away. You didn't even know what sector you were in anymore. What would your father think of your decision to leave nevarro? You hadn't seen him in a while but you remembered the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. And how he would hug you after a long day. Hold you like you were still his little girl. The craving for a warm embrace from a solid body slammed into you with all the force of a meteor. Leaving you stunned and lost. You briefly wondered how mando coped. How did he deal with the overwhelming feeling of loneliness? How did he leave his guild? Did he miss them? Were they like a family? Did he think about them often? How did he cope with the lack of touch? Or did he not think about it at all? Did he not need it? Was he so disconnected from the world through his beskar that he couldn't remember the feeling of someone's fingers on his skin? Etching a path with the searing heat they exuded. Hearing approaching footsteps you attempt to pull yourself together. Regulate your breathing, get rid of tear tracks and lose the flush coloring your face. You could do this. As he rounded the corner he stopped. You peered up at him from your curled up position on the floor and offered him a smile that felt unconvincing even on your lips. He tilted his head slightly at you and made his way cautiously to where you were. He bent slightly and offered a brown leather clad hand to you. For a second the only sound heard was the faint crackle of his breathing in his helmet. You could see him faltering. Here he was offering you comfort in your clearly distressed state and you were pointedly ignoring it. You laced your fingers with his and nearly doubled over from the strength he exuded into pulling you up. As soon as you were fairly steady on your feet you marveled at your hand shocked by the warmth creeping through the leather of the glove permeating into your palm. He sighed, a deep release of tension from his shoulders followed. “What's wrong?” he said, his hand still lazily grasping your fingers. You looked at him, what was wrong?

“How do you do it?” you said echoing his words from your first meeting to him. his thumb dragged a slow line along your wrist. When he didn't respond you added, “how are you okay with being alone?” if you could see his face you would say he looked taken aback. He released your hand.

“I'm not.” he offered. Confused as to which question he was answering you remained silent hoping to prompt him to continue. He started again, “I'm not alone, not truly. I have him.” he gestured vaguely to his sleeping quarters where the kid slept. He rubbed the back of his neck,

“And neither are you.”

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being a Party Member

Stranger Kids x reader

warnings:

a/n: 💖💖 these ones were kind bad but i hope you like!

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Can you make a headcannon for Stranger Things of just being in the party? Sorry if its too vague. Thank you so much for giving us so much free content!!”

you’ve known the boys for a long, long time

your mom was friends with joyce in high school, so you knew will your whole life

he introduced you to mike and soon lucas and dustin had joined the mix

let’s face it, you guys weren’t the most popular, but as long as you had each other it was fine

“at recess do you want to play castle?”

“yes! but we need to make up our characters”

will the wise was born that day, it just stuck

you guys were obsessed with star wars when it came out

“i’d totally be a jedi” -mike

“mike, you’d cry at the sight of any alien creature”

“not true!”

“i think lucas would be a kickass pilot, though”

“i’d get the princess, too” -lucas

dustin ended up playing lightsabers with you, though

you’ve accidentally knocked down tons of stuff in mike’s basement

“cut it out, you guys!”

“soooorryyyyy”

“you are not!”

AV club was just the 5 of you acting afool under adult supervision

mr. clark was still proud of your young minds, though

D&D campaigns, you were the rogue

you were also easily distracted during the game

“anyone want chips, im gonna get some chips”

“no! you can’t leave now!”

“watch me”

playing with mike’s toys while he’s not looking

battling them with lucas, dustin, and will

until mike started protesting

bike rides around town until sunset

SLEEPOVERS

“who the hell is snoring?”

“i think it’s dustin”

“PILLOW FIGHT!!!”

“kids, time to sleep!” -any parent

“let’s watch a scary movie”

“no! i mean—i’m tired” -mike

depending on which house you were staying in, you’d have a great time

will’s brother, jonathan, was always nice to you

nancy...not so much

“hi na—” *door slams* “oh...”

erica always intruded on your sleepovers at lucas’s

“i wanna play! can i play?”

“no, erica, go play somewhere else”

“you’re so mean, lucas”

“bye!”

dustin didn’t have any siblings, but he did have a cat who was pretty nice

“hi mews!”

the night will disappeared was a night you’ll never forget

you were so determined to find him, he had to be around somewhere

you ended up getting in deeper water than you’d originally thought when you met eleven, who apparently had superpowers

“mike!!! you’re mom is gonna kill you for bringing a random girl in the house”

“i know! shhhhh”

she was weird to say the least

and it was pretty scary sneaking around with her

“dude...she has the force”

“shut up!”

after a long week of fighting with your friends and encountering inter dimensional monsters and the government, you realized your life would never be the same

your mom was pretty protective over you for a while

the party had to come to your house instead for the next few months

“sorry guys, she’s just...really upset about the whole thing”

“it’s okay, y/n. we don’t mind”

being each other’s support system

especially when it came to will, he really worried you guys

“today is will’s doctor visit, hope it goes okay...”

spending HOURS in the arcade, struggling to beat other people’s high scores

“i’m gonna do it! i’m gonna get the top score!”

“in your dreams, y/n”

hAlLoWeEn

you knew you weren’t supposed to dress up at school but no one was paying attention to you when you told them

unfortunate.

there was a new girl who mike hated right off the bat

but lucas and dustin wouldn’t stop fighting over

“you two are the worst, you know that?”

trick or treating and dumping your candy later on to trade, the most effective way to get the best halloween

“nougat, disgusting. anybody want it? i’ll give it to you for free”

*dustin and you simultaneously* “ME!”

dustin’s “pet lizard” scaring the hell out of you

“dart makes me...uncomfortable”

max pulling you aside to ask why mike hates her

“uh...he’s a dick? i don’t know”

you and max ended up getting along pretty okay, though

she did complain about mike a LOT though

and when lucas filled her in on the demogorgon/upside-down/eleven situation, EVERYONE was pissed

you guys realized that the upside down stuff was not over and there was an epic teamup with all of you yaaaay

steve harrington adopted you it’s true

eleven came back

that was cool

you gave her a hug bc like duh??? you missed her

steve babysitting you guys and then getting beat up by max’s stepbrother, billy

“can i hit him? i wanna hit him”

“do it!”

doing dumbass shit in the tunnels that ended up working out anyways! yay!

“we’re all gonna die we’re all gonna die oh my god i’m too young to die”

“Y/N STOP”

in the end everything was (mostly) okay but like, that was scarring

summer rolled around and el and mike were dating, max and lucas were dating, and dusting came back from camp and claimed to be dating some girl from faaaar away

“liar”

“i’m not lying!”

steve sneaking you into movies

he also gave you (and only you) free ice cream but only bc he knew you wouldn’t tell anyone else

robin and you talking while you hid in the break room to eat your ice cream

“so...what do you do for fun”

“kill monsters”

“oh...okay”

kinda sick of the party’s shit for a while, so dustin and you were off scheming with the scoops employees

bad ideaaaa!! the russians!! you were almost killed!!

rescue mission for steve and robin

“they’re high as shit”

“nO YOu aRe”

“wonderful, we’re screwed”

losing them fhdhdhsh

“y/n?!”

“what? i’m not a babysitter!”

being chased by russians but also the rest of the party showing up and updating you but also adults finally making an appearance and you wanting to cry because like what the fuck is happening

being chased by the mind flayer

“GUYS IF WE DONT MAKE IT I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I LOVE YOU”

“Y/N. STOP SAYING THINGS THAT MAKE US THINK WE’RE GOING TO DIE”

eek that night sucked

you also almost fell down the hill that cerebro was placed on

and then uhhh hopper died so that was really bad and will ended up moving away with el and everyone was very sad

your mom cried when joyce left :(

you cried way too much

might i add going over to lucas’s to hang out with erica bc now you guys are friends lmaooo

“why are you here, y/n?”

“erica wanted me to come over”

“you two are impossible”

and to end this on a high note, the remaining party members in town were finally working through their differences as you all grew up and knew that it’d be impossible to separate for good

also pizza nights every week (sometimes accompanied by an older teen bc why not)

“if you guys eat all the damn pizza we’re gonna have a problem”

“we can’t help it! we’re growing!”

taglist: @locke-writes // @queenofthehairharrington // @praellee // @bonniesbabybunnie // @lotsoffandomrecs //

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #the party #the party x reader #the party imagine #mike wheeler imagine #will byers imagine #lucas sinclair imagine #dustin henderson imagine #eleven hopper imagine #max mayfield imagine #steve harrington imagine #robin buckley imagine #jonathan byers imagine

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oyubaat-tapcaf · 3 years

Text

Take Me To the Planetarium Chapter 3 - Shawarma

AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2

warnings: none

summary: Din has to pinch himself a few times during this chapter.

When Din arrived at Boba’s place he was ten minutes early. Of course, he was. He either gets somewhere too late or way too early, there was no in-between. He didn’t want to rush Boba, he probably wasn’t even ready to go yet, so Din drove round the block. When he arrived again he was only five minutes early. That was okay, he could do that.

He parked his bike on the sidewalk and set back. Din knew the street where Boba lived, it was near the centre of the city. Boba lived in an older apartment block with beautiful architecture. Din took off his helmet and looked at the trees that were framing the sidewalk. He liked being here already. Though, his gut was twisting inside of him like a snake. He was so excited to see Boba, but on the other hand, he was scared. Scared that Boba realised that Din maybe wasn’t how Boba thought he was. That Boba was disappointed by the show, that Din fucked up at keeping a conversation. That Din infodumped all the shit he knew about space and that Boba wouldn’t like that. That Din got too excited and wouldn’t stop talking...

Din got off his motorcycle and took off his gloves. It was pretty cold outside so he had to wear them, at least for the ride. He went over to Boba’s front door and raised his hand to ring the doorbell. Before he could actually press the button the door swung open and he was greeted with Boba’s always so welcoming smile.

“Hi, Din!”

Din didn’t even have time to be surprised because he immediately felt better. Boba had waited, he had been ready a long time ago. Also, he didn’t even try to hide it, because he didn’t need to. Boba didn’t try to act cool and uninterested. He showed Din that he was excited and had been looking forward to this whole...date (?). Because somehow, he knew that Din kept overthinking and he knew how to deal with that.

Din released the air in his lungs that he had been holding and smiled back at his date.

“Hi.”

He realised that Boba looked pretty good. He had put the effort into his outfit, just like Din had. He wore black jeans, that was ripped at the knees, together with a button-up that was also black. Though it had a white and grey print all over. Din couldn’t see what it was, the light wasn’t bright enough at the front door. Boba also wore a silver necklace and his hair looked like it had been styled at least a bit. The longer parts of his mullet were long enough to lightly brush his shoulders.

He held a leather jacket in his hand that was lined with a fluffy and warm looking fabric on the inside. It had a few patches sewn on it.

“Your knees will be freezing,” said Din awkwardly. Wow, what a great way to start a conversation.

Boba laughed and ran his gloved hand through his curls.

“You can keep me warm. Anything for the look.”

Din joined the laugher.

“Okay, I can do that,” he replied and gestured to the jacket. “ Also, I bet this is warm enough. Though, the ride isn’t that long.”

“That sounds good,” Boba nodded and stepped through the door and closed it behind him.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been in a planetarium. I’m pretty excited!”

Din watched Boba fumble with his keys and noticed the badass leather gloves he wore. Fingerless. Oh boy, this did something to him.

“I’m happy to help,” answered Din and walked over to his bike. Boba followed him and eyed up the vehicle.

“That looks cool. I wanted to get one too but I need money for that,” he laughed awkwardly, “My car costs so much since it’s pretty old.”

“It didn’t seem original to me. Is it tuned?”

Boba nodded and put on the huge leather jacket.

“Yeah, a friend of mine offered me to change a few things.”

“It suits you,” Din replied and watched Boba close the zipper of the leather jacket. “Ready to go?”

They both put on their helmets and Din sat down on his bike. He prepared for Boba to sit behind him. He felt the weight shift and Boba’s smaller body sitting down behind him. Boba made sure not to get all up behind Din immediately, which found Din very polite, though, he would’ve loved to feel the man pressing up behind him. He registered that Boba was already lightly resting his hands at Din’s waist. A shiver ran through his muscles which he luckily hid very well.

“Please don’t fall during turns,” said Din, his voice a bit muffled by his helmet.

“I know how to ride a bike you dingus,” Boba slapped Din’s waist and snickered.

“Well then, off we go.”

The bike started rolling, the engine started roaring and they both started to feel the wind on their bodies. The street lights began to blur and everything seemed far distant. While Din still watched the traffic, he realised how they undocked from the world and entered the wormhole where just the two of them existed. It was dangerous to start daydreaming while going 50km per hour through the city, so Din stopped hyper-focusing on Boba and concentrated on his bike.

As much as he’d love to enjoy the man’s presence behind him, there was no way he could do that for now without getting them both in trouble. Maybe, when he got used to Boba a bit more, then he’d be able to do both things all at once. But for now, he had to stay in reality.

As Din had mentioned before, the ride wasn’t long. Boba lived near downtown, which means they arrived after fifteen minutes. Din was already able to see that planetariums dome from the last traffic light. He already felt safer and way more grounded. The engine beneath him was rumbling like a sea monster in a horror movie, but the leather-clad hands on his waist felt angelic. He realised how happy he was to experience this whole situation. Planetarium in sight, on his bike, with the man he was crushing on. He made sure to remember to pinch himself when they arrive so he could make sure this wasn’t a dream.

The Moons of Iego was already greeting them with its bright lights that were nearly illuminating the whole street. The trees were touched by blue and purple, the dome of the building was brightly lit with yellow and orange. It looked like the sun.

The light show never failed to amaze Din.

The bike slowly rolled into the parking lot and through that neon sign that stated the name of the location. The sign gave Din the weird vibe of a romantic gothic style that went to a cyberpunk world. It had crooked metal bars that held the neon lights up, giving the whole entry a roughed up feeling. He was so in love with it.

There were already a few people entering the building, though, they still had plenty of time before the show started. Din liked to be early, the planetarium had an amazing interior with many cool pieces of art and items on display to learn about. Also, he wanted to buy Boba a drink.

They parked the bike and slowly got down from the seat.

After lifting his helmet Din turned to Boba and had to take a calming breath. The man was immersed in the purple light, threading through his curls and over his cheeks. A few spots of blue were on his lips and run down his neck, catching in his leather jacket. Din made sure to keep at least his mouth closed.

“What an amazing place,” he heard Boba whisper.

Din swallowed the rose that had just grown in his throat and tried to give Boba a good answer.

“I agree,” he got out and distracted himself by fumbling his keys into the pocket of his heavy biker jacket. It dreaded him a little bit to think of all the times he will have to make sure today not to let his true inner feelings show to not appear too creepy. Even if Boba was very relaxed and open-minded, Din still had to make sure. He had to go slow.

“You ready to go inside?” Din gestured to the entrance of the building that was decorated with beautiful ornaments and statues of angels and aliens.

Boba said yes to that and they both made their way to the entrance.

Din hadn’t told Boba, but he had reserved two tickets for them. he just had to be sure to get the best seats. When they entered the first big hall of the planetarium he heard Boba gasp beside him. He related to that, the first hall never failed to amaze.

It seemed like it had no ceiling because of the light show, together with the way they decorated the whole room. Din didn’t quite get how they made the effect of the endless hall but somehow they did. In the corner’s of the room were bar’s made out of silver metal and plastic to appear like space stations. The menus were hung up high up in the air, also made out of neon signs. About four meters above Din’s head were moons and space shuttles hung from the ceiling. Soft ethereal music was playing and somehow, the voices of the other visitors were muffled by the architecture of the room. It was strangely quiet in here, all the time. Just like outer space.

“This is unreal,” he heard Boba beside him and turned to look at him.

“I know what you mean.”

They both just quietly stood next to each other for a while, soaking up the relaxing energy that the room was flooded with. After a while, Din turned back to Boba.

“Do you want a drink?”

Boba met Din’s eyes and gave him a smirk.

“Sure.”

They walked over to one of the bar’s and leaned against it.

“What do you want? I’m getting a ginger ale for myself.”

Boba scanned the menu and his eyes fell on the wine.

“I love drinking alone. I’m going to take that red wine.”

“You sound like a single mom on pinterest.”

Boba started to laugh and threw his head back.

“That’s my duty. I am a single mom on pinterest. Live laugh love”!”

Din joined Boba’s cackling and realised that they were probably the loudest people in the room. He didn’t mind….and that was strange for him. With Boba, all his urge to hide from society just fell from his shoulders and out of his pockets. Boba was so confident, he took Din with him.

“Make sure that you’re still able to get on my bike after the show.”

Boba raised his eyebrows.

“I think I’ll be fine. Also, you can help me get up there. And then I’ll just hold onto you.” he leaned a bit forward and took the wine glass that Din handed him.

Din got flustered at first, his instincts were telling him to run. And then...he realised that there was no need to hide or run. He was able to play along with Boba’s flirting. He was capable of actually leading this date somewhere. He was sick of letting things happen to him. He was going to make things happen.

“Is that so? Then maybe I should buy you more drinks, huh?” Din leaned a bit closer and watched Boba take a sip from the glass. It had been a while since Din had taken control in a situation like this.

“Yes you should, because that wine tastes amazing,” replied Boba with gleaming eyes. It felt like the whole room around them had gone into a blur.

“Only the best for you.”

Boba raised his chin a little and a smug smile spread on his lips.

“What’s your goal here, biker boy? Getting me into your bed?”

Din’s inner self huffed. It was hard to keep up with Boba’s confidence and fearless flirting. He wanted to scream “Yes, kinda! Let’s go home and let me throw you on my Star Trek sheets!”

But of course, he couldn’t do that. Also, he was still very happy to be here.

“Well first, you’re going to watch that show with me and you better pay attention because there will be a test tomorrow!” Din raised his index finger as a teacher would.

Boba picked up his joke and laughed after taking another sip of wine.

“Okay, I’ll try my best, sir.”

For a few seconds, it took all of Din’s self-control to keep himself from throwing Boba over that damn bar stool next to them. He looked away for two seconds, a soft smile on his lips. Then he remembered what he actually wanted to talk about this night.

“Boba, tell me about your band. I completely fucked up asking last time.”

Boba looked surprised at that question. He then looked a little flustered, Din liked that.

“We’re an alt rock band. I play bass. Uhm...we have an EP released but the quality sucks because we don’t have the money for a good record studio.” he took a sip of the red wine and Din could see a small blush forming on Boba’s cheeks. He wasn’t sure if it’s the wine or the conversation.

“And how many people are in that band? What’s the name of the band?”

“We’re four people, the name is Spying Neighbors. We have a guitar, drums, bass keys and vocals, our guitarist also does the vocals.”

Din chuckled at that name.

“Spying Neighbors? That’s a sick name. How did that happen?”

Boba chuckled too and emptied his wine glass.

“We started rehearsing years ago at our guitarist’s parents’ house and the neighbours kept watching us and sometimes they even called the police.”

“Let me know when there’s a show! I wanna come.” Din also emptied his ginger ale.

Boba looked surprised. Probably because Din didn’t seem like a person who would go to rock shows. Which was kinda right, but he loved music and for Boba, he would go to a fully crowded club, just to see the man on stage.

“I definitely will!”

A signal from the speakers let them know that the show will start soon, only ten minutes left.

“Should we go inside?” Din placed his clas on the bar and gestured to the theatre’s entrance.

Boba nodded and picked up the jacket he had placed on that barstool next to him.

They walked over to the entrance. As they stepped through it everything turned dark. The theatre was still dark on the inside and the way to the seats was only shown by small lights on the floor. They found their seats pretty fast because Din knew the way. He had been here many times. When they sat down, Din realised that the seats weren’t even that far from each other that he remembered. Maybe he had never paid attention to it because he had never been here with another person.

“Remember the test tomorrow,” whispered Din in Boba’s direction and got a small giggle as an answer. He wasn’t able to really see Boa’s features because it was so dark in the room. But that gave him the opportunity to really listen to his voice as he talked.

“I am always amazed by all that technical stuff going on here. Like...how does this even work? Amazing!”

His voice wasn’t super deep but it wasn’t high either. It wasn’t rough, it had a smooth undertone that Din had never heard anywhere before. Also, the way he spoke gave Din butterflies in his stomach. Boba said everything with so much meaning and honesty like it was just permanently edged in his voice. It made Din happy just listening to it.

“I know what you mean. Even if someone would explain it to me, I’d still have no clue how they make it so realistic.”

“Nah, you’re smart. You’d get it.”

Din snickered at that and shook his head.

“I’m not smart Boba, I’m just interested in certain things. If I’d be that smart, I’d be working at NASA, not as a web designer.”

“What about as a web designer for NASA?” replied Boba smugly and giggled. “No for real,” he continued, "I'm kinda glad you work at Smith's, if not I'd have never met you."

Din felt his chest tickle as he heard Boba's words. At first, he didn't know what to say, and when he finally wanted to answer, the dome-like ceiling above them lit up in bright colours and music started to play. The show began.

Din already knew the show, they changed a few things from time to time but overall it was still the same. But it still didn't fail to amaze him every time. He kept his eyes glued to the projected sky above them and followed the star signs with his eyes. He wanted to look over to Boba, but he was too afraid that Boba might notice him staring.

So he kept looking at the show and leaned back in his seat, taking some time to relax and think about his next moves. The show wasn't very long, maybe about 60 minutes. He didn't want to say goodbye to Boba so soon, so he decided to ask him what he wanted to do after that. He would offer him to go to his place. He even had cleaned it up, so he kinda had to invite Boba. He was sure Boba was up for it.

He realised that being around this man made him relaxed and so confident. He felt like interacting with Boba was easy. He didn't know if it was the way Boba made sure to listen to every word Din said. Maybe it was the confidence that Boba held that washed over Din too. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, it was a strange connection he had never felt before. Din had to make sure to hold onto that.

The show had been playing for a while now and the screen showed a gigantic nebula that formed right above Din and Boba. The seats were reflecting the yellow and pink lights and Din saw that it was really bright. Before he realised he looked over to his date. Boba was leaned back in his seat, hands clasped in his lap, eyes up to the fake sky.

The colours shone beautifully in his eyes and Din couldn't stop watching him. The way his tanned skin interacted with the yellow of the nebula, the way his eyes looked more precious than diamonds. The way his lips were parted was only slightly in awe.

Din had to pinch himself, for a few seconds he was sure he was dreaming. This whole situation felt off. As if he, Din Djarin, ever had the chance to buy this human being a drink. But he wasn't dreaming. Boba was real. Real, and he was locking eyes with him.

It should've felt unnatural or weird but no, it felt like it was meant to be. Boba looked at Din, obviously liked that Din was staring at him. He smiled kindly, head slightly cocked to the side. Din felt like the gravity of the room went out and he rose up from his seat. They were floating through space, long gone from the theatre and the other guests. It was quiet, though a soft humming sound was vibrating through the void, embracing them in its fluid waves, dancing on their bodies. A look around themselves showed that they were somewhere floating in our solar system, though the earth was not in sight. Din could see Saturn and Uranus from afar. The planets were easy to recognize due to their special characteristics. He looked back at the man across from him who was holding out his hand for Din to take.

They grabbed each other's hands softly, Boba's hand the same size as Din's, fitting between his fingers so perfectly. No words were spoken, there was no need for that. It was just floating, enjoying. Looking at each other and feeling each other's skin. The colours of the Nebula were dancing on their bodies just like the humming sounds did. Din had never felt so good in his life. He could stay here forever. But he had to go.

He was brought back to reality by the voice-over of the show saying something about flying back to earth and going home. Although he didn't want to, he let go of his imagination and found himself in his seat again. He and Boba were still looking at each other as if Boba had experienced the same. Din was sure that he didn't but it still felt amazing to keep that connection.

It took them a while to realize that the show had ended and the first few guests had stood up and run to the toilet. Din had to snicker at that.

Boba was still recovering from that weird Out-of-body experience he just had. For a short moment, that world around him had been gone and there was just Din. He kinda knew that Din had experienced something similar. Something had clicked between them.

Boba looked over to Din who sat in his seat back hunched over a little, watching the people exit the room one by one. He needed to thank him for that experience.

"Should we leave too?" Din looked at Boba calmly and stretched his back a little.

Boba nodded and stretched out his legs. He hoped that this date wasn't over yet. He had to make sure it wasn’t. Din probably wanted to do something else too.

They both got up slowly and walked next to each other to the exit.

They entered the big hall again, greeted by the spaceships that hung from the ceiling. Boba looked around and watched mothers and fathers fumble with their kids' jackets. They were in a rush, the kids needed to go to sleep.

Boba was sure that Din didn't want this night to end but he also knew that, perhaps, Din had problems communicating that. He prepared himself for asking. But he was surprised when Din just looked at him, completely relaxed and…

"Do you wanna go to my place? I even have wine at home."

Boba was taken aback at first at how simply Din stated the offer. Then he smiled and nodded. Of course, he wanted to.

"I'd love to do that," he responded with as much honesty he could find, which was probably a lot because Din gave him a big smile and ushered him to the exit.

They walked over to the exit, faster than they had when they entered and stepped through the door into the cold November night.

"Don't worry I'll make sure to stay sober to drive you home." Din zipped up his thick jacket that was layered with protection. Boba had to admit that he liked the way Din looked in that jacket. It made him look pretty broad and tall.

"A true gentleman, aren't ya?"

Din shrugged and fingered the keys out of his pocket then he put on his gloves.

"Only if I want to."

Boba shook his head in amusement.

"Are you hungry? We can get Shawarma on the way," added Din.

Boba loved Shawarma so he instantly said yes. He knew which store Din was talking about, he had been there a few times.

They reached Din's bike and both put on their helmets. After they both climbed up the vehicle Din started the engine and it roared through the whole parking lot. Boba felt really comfortable behind Din and he loved to be this close to him. He leaned in a bit, wrapping his arms around Din a little tighter than he should. Din seemed to notice but he didn't say anything. There wasn't much to say about it anyway.

They rode down the road and passed many bars and clubs. Loud music was playing everywhere and the people were laughing. The streets were alive, even if it was cold as hell outside. It was a magical experience, Boba could see so much more than when he drove with his car. It felt more real.

He was still warm due to his jacket but he realised that Din had been right, his knees were freezing a bit. Maybe he should've worn pants that weren't ripped. But this one looked so good on him.

They kept driving down the streets downtown and watched drunk people partying, Then they stopped at the Shawarma place. It wasn't crowded yet so it didn't take long to order. Din paid for Boba, again. Although Boba could pay for himself, he felt good getting spoiled, it made him feel special.

Din turned way more confident than Boba had expected before and he loved it. He kind of knew that Din wasn't a very shy person, in particular, he just needed time to adjust. Boba didn't think that Din was introverted either, he just waited for the right person to talk to. He had chosen Boba. The way Din drove the two of them through the traffic safely, still with a few extra turns. He wasn’t driving wild in particular you could just sense that he had fun.

He stopped the bike in a smaller street that was filled with small bushes and trees. There was nearly no space left for car’s only a few spots were for parking. Din turned off the engine and they both got off his bike. Boba could hear the leaves rustling in the cold November winds, and as romantic as this may sound, he started shivering. His breath was fogging the air in front of him and his knees nearly fell off.

“Let me put my bike in the garage, then we can go inside. You’re freezing,” said Din immediately and opened a big dark garage door next to a (probably his) front door.

“Yeah, okay,” responded Boba and wrapped his arms around himself. He couldn’t wait to eat his Shawarma wrap and talk to Din.

Din rolled the motorcycle in his garage.

After doing that he closed the garage’s door and hurried up to open the front door. They stepped inside and Boba found himself in a small hallway with stairs leading upstairs.

Din lead the way upstairs to the second floor, where he had his apartment. He opened the door while Boba stood behind him holding the small bag with their food.

“I can hear your teeth chatter, do you want a hot chocolate or tea, coffee, a blanket?”

Boba smiled at Din’s offer and took a moment to think about it as they stepped inside.

“Tea sounds good,” he replied and looked around the living room they had just entered. It wasn’t very big and looked quite comfy. A dark blue couch, big enough for maybe three people was placed in the centre of the room with a rather big TV across from it. A few shelves filled with DVDs and books and records were nearly everywhere. Though the shelves weren’t very big, it was just a lot of them.

What Boba liked, in particular, was, that there were also things just randomly placed on the coffee table, the TV stand and the floor. He saw small and big stacks of books and random stacks of paper, drawings, in the corners of the room. A record player that was rested on a vintage-looking stool, attached to a pretty high end looking hi-fi system.

There were also posters on the wall, Boba recognised movies like Mad Max and The Matrix and a few horror movies. He also saw a painting of an artist he didn’t know. He slowly got rid of his jacket and Din took it from his hands and place it over an armchair that seemed to function as some kind of wardrobe. The same with their helmets.

Din walked across the room to switch on some lights. He didn’t switch on the big overhead light, only the smaller ones that were placed around the room. They were shining in different colours like yellow, green and a lot of red tones.

“I can’t stand bright lights, I prefer those dimmed ones,” explained Din.

Boba nodded, he understood that.

“So tea?” Din gestured to a door arch that probably led to the kitchen.

“Yeah.” Boba started walking over to Din and realised that the warmth of the room was already seeping into his body.

“I see a lot of books,” said Boba.

“Yeah, I read a lot. That’s probably no surprise. Gimme the food real quick, I’ll put in on some plates,” said and placed and turned on an electric kettle. He turned to Boba and took the bag from his outstretched hand.

Boba watched Din place the still-hot food on two plates while the water got heated up.

“So, did you like the show?” asked Din.

“It was amazing. Thank you for that experience. I really enjoyed it. The nebula was probably the best part.” Boba thought back to the moment they had when they both met their eyes during that part of the show.

Din smiled as he listened to Boba’s answer.

“That’s great to hear. I am amazed every time I go there. It’s never the same. What tea do you like? I have apple or black tea.”

“Apple.” said Boba and leaned against the door frame.

“Are your knees still working or should we replace them with robotic ones?” joked Din and brewed the tea for Boba.

“Yes, probably. I can’t feel them anymore…” said Boba. Well, that might be a bit too dramatic.

“You can sit on the couch and I’ll give you a blanket. C’mon, the tea needs to brew for a while.”

Din walked over into the living room again and took a fluffy looking, mustard yellow blanket. Boba followed him and sat down on the velvet couch after Din ushered him to do so. Without a warning, he threw the blanket over Boba.

Boba wrapped it around himself, touched by the kind gesture. He looked at the pillows that lay on the couch next to him. They were brightly coloured a few had stars printed on them. It felt like Din bought them at many different stores and didn’t like to follow a consistent aesthetic. Also, the count of the pillows revealed that he probably spent a lot of time on this couch. The coffee table in front of him was made out of glass, it was shaped like a kidney. An Ipad was laying on top of it, together with a few magazines about robotics and design. Next to them stood a Funko Pop of Loki Laufeyson.

Din had picked a record he wanted to listen to together with Boba. He turned to Boba who was curled up on his couch scanning the coffee table.

“Do you know this record?” he asked and held it up in Boba’s direction “It’s Visions, by Grimes.” It was one of Din’s favourite albums.

Boba shook his head no.

“Then I will enlighten you now.” Din put the vinyl in his record player and the music started playing softly.

#TMTTP #bobadin #din djarin #boba fett #din djarin x boba fett #bobadin au #mandalorian au #star wars au #star wars fic #bobadin fic #fan fic #AO3 #fluff

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threeeyesslitthroat · 3 years

Text

So I watched Chaos Walking(2021)

Yeah, lucky for me, my local theater was open and showing(side note, I love my local theater so much. Like, not to brag but seven dollars for a movie and a snack is so great)

Anyhow, I watched Chaos walking. This is sort of my review.

First off, I read The Knife of Never Letting Go and one third of The Ask and Answer, almost two years ago. When they finally dropped the release date and the trailer, i made the choice not to go reread the first book because i wanted to give the movie a chance and make an exercise of managing my expectations(in preparation for Disney’s Percy Jackson adaptation). Which means not only do I not have a complete understanding of the source material, but I also have a shit memory, so I don’t have a great shot at analyzing this films in adaptation terms, but i’m gonna try anyhow.

So first off, The Noise.

I found it a bit sketchy that they decided to make the make Noise have visual elements alongside audio but I decided it was fine, since it be pretty hard to bring this to life with only just audio and not make general audiences confused.

But they did try and do a solid job. Minus not letting us hear the Noise of animals, which sucks. we do see the Noise of a Spackle, but briefly.

The part that really pisses me off is the final confrontation, when the Noise is treated like a Super Power. we see this when Todd scares Davy’s horse by conjuring up an image of big snake, when Mayor Prentiss tricks Viola into a false trap, when Ben tricks everyone by pretending to give Viola up when in fact he’s buying Todd and the real Viola time to get away, and in the final, Todd distracts Prentiss by conjuring up the image of his mother(complete with bloody wounds) and the various women that died when he was a baby, which caused Prentiss to fall to his death.

I don’t know how the Noise is depicted in the later books, if it was anywhere remotely like this, but i know for sure it doesn’t happen in the first book, which the film is based on.

(Also, how the fuck does Todd know what his mum looks like, or any of the other women and how is he able to bring up their images so perfectly how is ANYONE ABLE REMEMBER SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH DETAIL That goes beyond photographic memory)

Second bit, the Spackle.

The design is boring. Its clearly an alien, buts its dark grey, tall, holds its own when Todd attacks it in the film, has zero impact on the film as a whole and pretty boring. I do recall reading the book and imagining them to have faces similar to real world lemurs or Sloths, with big expressive eyes and such, but the CGI monster doesn’t emote for shit in this film. Todd comes at with a knife with every intention of killing it and it shrugs him off and walks away like it wasn’t fucking attacked my gods.

But in short, they only brought up the Spackle because they’re a thing in the world and it teased the bigger concepts of the next books with like, one measly exchange between Todd and Viola. (it went something like this)

Viola:We’re the aliens, though. They’re the natives.

Todd: huh.

Third bit, New World itself. Not a big deal, It looked like how i originally imagined it, no mention of swamp apples, though we see Todd Hewitt use a knife to stab a big ass bug thing for food. i hear some critics consider it lame that the planet isn’t actually alien but eh, whatever, Didn’t really feel an alien vibe reading the book so it doesn’t matter.

Now there’s one bit i have to acknowledge in passing. At one point Todd decides to go get lunch by going into the water with his knife and wrestles with some big ass thing with tentacles. Which is fine, just have a couple of questions.

A: is this in reference to the books? Where there big ass tentacle creatures in the novel that are hunted for lunch?

B:if not, was this the film makers deciding to remind the viewers that yes, they are not on planet earth and to make Todd look cooler and justify why he’s useful for the quest and show how much Viola doesn’t know?

I kinda have to acknowledge the thing. In that scene, Todd and Viola take a break, and Todd removes his clothes (all of them) and decides to go hunting in the water naked as the day he was born. You may have noticed that the Tom Holland stans are all over this scene because One) the camera focuses on Tom Hollands muscles when he takes his top off and Two) one can see his bare ass in the distance.

Not a big fan off this, just find it interesting because its the most recent example of a Male being objectified by the camera when this never happens once to any of the female characters in the film, including Viola. Also, a touch of weird character detailing because haha, get it? Boy’s never seen a girl before in his life and doesn’t know what modesty means.

Also, very weird because Todd Hewitt in the book was so fucking self conscious that he would never have done that.

Now I gotta talk about the characters.

( i understand why they aged them up, i truly do, better to get established actors instead of child actors that could more easily break to movie than sell it. its easier to make movies with legal adults instead of working with child labor laws. but damn it you lose so much of the fucking nuance of the novel when you age them up. There’s so much shit that makes an impact because of how young they are. Around the ages of eleven and twelve is when ones understanding of good and evil has its foundation, to me it was like the story was grappling with Todd Hewitt’s very soul and you lose so much of that when you change it to them being older because instead of being just kids in fucked up situations its younger adults in messed up situations. Like ugh. and aging them up leads to even more problems but we’ll fucking get to that)

Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt is not the Todd Hewitt of the novel. He just ain’t. There is nothing there that reminds of the boy. The acting is solid, don’t get me wrong, but it just ain’t the Todd Hewitt i remember. Neither is Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade.

(excuse me while i get Percy Jackson flashbacks)

Now, I have to acknowledge the fact that neither actor(actually none of the actors in this film) slouch on the job. They bring solid and at times very good acting.(If Tom Holland is in the film, its not going to be complete waste of time. He brings quality.)

Honestly, respect to Mr Holland because he was basically the main character, not only acting but also doing voice and various stunts(also huge credit to the stunt coordinators and stuntmen) and I heard that filming wasn’t that great and bloody broke his nose how many times like damn boy, hats off to you.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to say that Holland was playing himself or just a version of peter Parker, because i really don’t think he wasn’t but it just. Didn’t feel like a legit character? Especially when compared to the novel. Like Todd Hewitt in the novel is such a raw force of emotion and such a smartass and i was so looking forward for Holland to own this role but in the movie he just? Awkward dude going through some stuff?

but yeah, Holland works his ass off and there are some scenes and moments in the movie that work just because this fellow is just that charming, so (shrug emoji) like i said, He doesn’t waste your time at least.

Ridley....sigh. i know this woman can act. But next to the character who’s thoughts are heard constantly she’s very boring. And it hurts so much because Viola has an actual personality in the novel like; I’m ninety percent sure that Viola hits Todd with a big stick and I do remember that there were multiple moments where she lets Todd know when he’s being a dumbass.(seriously, i may have a shit memory of the book, but i do remember that they play off each other well and hugely entertaining seeing two twelve-year-olds handle the shit getting thrown at them)

Like, Viola in the film doesn’t really have much going on. We see the crash, we hear about the graves she dug herself, we see her be sad, we see her look at Todd like weirdo, we see her look horrified or shocked. (its so sad that I only remember the facial expressions more clearly than the actual dialogue) We really have no idea what the hell is going on with Viola Eade. I don’t think we can blame Ridley, only the film makers, because how can you see Viola Eade in the novel and then turn her into that????

i do have to talk about the relationship between Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt and Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade, even though its painful. In the novel, them is just two kids on a really tough adventure. Because they aged them up, its not two kids old enough to run for the playground when recess starts. Its Teenagers.

First question, HOW OLD ARE THEY??? Is Todd sixteen? Eighteen? Seventeen? He sure as hell ain’t Thirteen in this. What about Viola? I mean, big shout out to the hair and makeup team for making 28-year-old Daisy Ridley look so much younger but how. OLD. IS.SHE? Nineteen? Twenty? Twenty-one? Pretty sure she’s older than him in this? I ask because it MATTERS.

The way they play off each other has a vastly different energy to the novel because they are aged up. Its pretty obvious pretty fast that Todd’s feelings are basically a big crush, though not all of it is superficial as the film progresses. And Viola is clearly not receptive to that in the film. (honestly i cringed so hard at the “daydream kiss’ and whatever the hell that was in the Farbranch mayor’s house)

The relationship in the film just doesn’t have the nuance or the energy that the novel had in depicting their relationship which is depressing for all the Todd x Viola fans i’m sure. There’s some adorable bits though, like Viola seeing Todd’s dream of her playing with Manchee, and not so adorable canon bits like when Viola read the diary to Todd.

I’m just grateful that the film at least ended with them being friends instead of trying to force the romantic relationship. That right there is why I like the movie. It’s a crush, its used for a couple laughs, they’re friends, its fine. Even if you didn’t read the novel that’s really great for a movie in this day and age to not end with forcing two opposite sex characters into a relationship. To be honest, I like the idea that the film leaves us thinking that yeah, maybe these two could be real friends one day.

I just want to touch on Manchee real quick.

Manchee’s Noise is not seen or heard in the film. It is briefly acknowledged by Todd ins their first scene but other than that? Nada. Which is a low blow in comparison to the novel because Manchee was a character in his own right, which is why the death hit so hard.

Todd?” he barks, confused and scared and watching me leave him behind. “Todd?” “Manchee!” I scream. Aaron brings his free hand towards my dog. “MANCHEE!” “Todd?” And Aaron wrenches his arms and there’s a CRACK and a scream and a cut-off yelp that tears my heart in two forever and forever. And the pain is too much it’s too much it’s too much and my hands are on my head and I’m rearing back and my mouth is open in a never-ending wordless wail of all the blackness that’s inside of me.”

in the film, it takes place in white rapids, So its chaotic, its awful, the veiwer’s all stressed out because Viola can’t swim, everyone's getting separated and Aaron’s there and he is seen drowning Manchee.

Dude, its brief, but not pretty. Because you can see Manchee’s legs trashing above the water, struggling to get free. Aaron is drowning a dog, letting its lungs fill with water. For the folks that don’t like watching dogs die in graphic detail on screen, this isn’t great.

Personally, I love this scene in the novel. Its the first time i had to put the book down and take a moment. It hit really close to home for me, because i watched my own dog die in real life. It was emotional and horrifying and had such a fucking impact because we could hear his thoughts. Todd had to make the choice to leave him behind to keep Viola safe. To be honest, i think the death is better in the novel, since Manchee basically dies instantly instead of drowning, which takes time(I’ve always assumed that his neck was snapped but I’ve heard others say it was the psine but whatever) it would have been easy and necessary for them to not show that on screen. I personally just think that in terms of depicting a violent death, the novel did a lot better.

Anyway, on to the other characters

(I had to choose the one with the big orange fluffy coat, and i couldn’t find a good pic og Ben and Cillian on google images.)

As for Mayor Prentiss, he’s played by Mads Mikkelsen, and he delivers. But for the most part, we don’t really know why he’s the bad guy, he just wants to get Viola because “she’s the key” which isn’t really explained, and at the end he tries his hardest to kill Todd.

Because i only read the first book, I don’t know what exactly his character arc is. And since its been a really long while, I don’t remember what he’s like in the novel regardless, other than the cliffhanger ending.

I did take a quick crashcourse through the wiki and it turns out that Todd and Prentiss have a relationship in the later books, which the film sort of touches on, because Todd looks up to Prentiss in the film from the get go.

To be honest, I knew that the trilogy was a lot more complex, and even though I didn’t read the whole thing I knew it would be really disappointing for the fans to see the mayor be hollowed out to almost unrecognizable and not getting to see the whole picture on screen.

As for Davy Prentiss Jr., he was an asshole and stayed an asshole. I know he improves and gets killed off in the novels, so yeah, exhibit B of character foundations not being laid down because there isn’t gonna be a movie after this. Also, why is he played by Nick Jonas? Did they actually have more in mind for him when they decided to go with a Jonas brother or was it just star power?

As for Aaron...don’t have much to say about him, other than just being pretty weird fit to the film. I think he’s after Viola because he’s just that full of delusions but other than that, his character is just flat and useless. (I wish to the gods that writers would actually think instead of going with “religious delusion” to explain insanity) He only brought tension in a few scenes for the most part. I’m pretty sure that in the novel Todd and Aaron have a confrontation, like the final fight of the novel, and I’m 90% sure that its where the Novel gets the Knife of never Letting Go as its title, because the knife is big deal at that point. But I guess they wanted Viola to have a quick boss battle for the ending and set him on fire.

Ben and Cillian were fine. They did a good job, the actors were pretty great, I liked Cillian, and i like how they acknowledged that these dudes were family(i know that they’re gay and a couple but the film doesn’t say it outloud beyond letting them sleep in the same bed, be Todd’s parents, and having Ben hold Cillian in his arms) I get a kick out of the fact that the official reviews by Movie Critics are openly curious about why the film doesn’t make it more obvious that they’re gay, but whatever.

As for the overall plot, this is a fine example of mashing three books into one film and not having good results. Instead of going to Haven, the movie decided to shortcut the ending and go to the original ship that somehow has working tech but whatever, Viola needs to communicate to her ship. So not only do we not get the great relationship between Todd and Viola, not only do we not get the Spackle, Not only do we not get to see the noise of Manchee, not only do we have poor character adaptation, we also don’t get to have a plot that matches THE ONE BOOK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO ADAPT. THEY HAD ONE FUCKING JOB AND THEY COULDN'T ADAPT THE ONE BOOK-

Its only so sad that they decided that this was going to be a one-shot deal because they didn’t have faith in the film and chose to have all the threads tied up. I mean, its so sad for the fans because the movie makes it very clear that we are not going to have anymore movies. sigh.

slight respect towards the film makers for tying up all the story threads instead of leaving them hanging. they did a neat job, even if it wasn’t a great one.

Anyway, maybe later on when google images has more than the promotional material I’ll do a review of only the good stuff this movie did, even if its a sad pathetic failure of an adaptation. Anyway this review is a bit of a mess and already so long so i’ll stop now.

May the gods give us strength against all the Tom Holland stans that will inevitably clog up the Chaos Walking tag with their Todd Hewitt x reader fanfics.

#Threeeyes speaks for once #messy film review #took forever to do this #i truly do feel for the Chaos walking fandom #As a Percy Jackson fan #I can only say #First Time?#Chaos Walking #Knife of Never Letting Go #Tom Holland 2021 #Daisy Ridley 2021 #Viola Eade #Todd Hewitt #Chaos Walking 2021

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anika-ann · 4 years

Text

Errare Humanum Est: Bonus

God Is Not a Woman (but He’s Plotting Anyway)

Type: series, soulmate AU series (part 1, part 2) x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 2910

Summary: Bucky’s trying to fit into the Tower and some might be trying to make it easy for him. And then he drops the bombshell on you and things get even crazier than before.

Warnings: swearing, brief talk on religion, fluff, crack-ish humour

A/N: Admittedly, this is some kind of a strange one-shot of which I’m not sure it exactly fits, but… enjoy?

Story masterlist

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Things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows only. Bucky’s return to the world was… tough. You only knew little of what had happened to him through the decades, but it was enough of a horror story even without the details.

Bucky’s relationship with the team of Avengers was complicated too. Steve was as ecstatic and heart-broken as when you had popped up alive and that was all that needed to be said. Clint was a rather easy-going guy with a reputation of not judging people by their worst mistakes and as a man who had once been mind-controlled by an alien (…what?), he was willing to accept Bucky with a strange kind of sympathy.

As it turned out, Bucky and Natasha had actually crossed their paths before briefly, but once again, that was all you learned, both hers and his moments in the past too dark to share. Bruce was keeping his distance, more of a shyness than fear or disgust if you could take a guess and Thor was off the planet, not meeting the other supersoldier just yet.

Tony… Tony wasn’t fond of Bucky. He found a footage of another Winter Soldier killing his parents and while it hadn’t been Bucky himself, Tony’s hatred needed an out and despite trying, he simply couldn’t manage treating Bucky exactly nice. He still let him live in the Tower though, so that definitely counted for something; for a lot, actually.

There were many people with trust issues when it came to Bucky and that included himself – he didn’t trust his mind still, even with the mysterious man helping him and he most definitely didn’t forgive himself for the lives he had taken. The ghosts of his past haunted him at night, in his dreams the most. But he was slowly healing.

Steve was helping a lot, sometimes trying too much maybe, which was why the former assassin sought Sam Wilson rather than his best friends at times. He came to you occasionally too; however, he seemed to feel as if you were off limits, because you were Steve’s gal. He was gradually losing that stupid attitude though and his teasing side came out to play, making you blush becoming his new hobby. Exactly what you needed with all the mess happening around, i.e. the aftermath of your resurrection.

It took Bucky about two months to mention the name.

It happened casually, just dropping the bombshell no one had seen coming. Bucky was actually showing Steve how to upgrade the newest version of some software you weren’t entirely sure what was for; both supersoldiers had to do their fair share of adjusting and while for Bucky it often was people, for Steve it was sometimes… technology despite him being able to pick up on things very quickly.

Steve thanked him and for the millionth time, you heard the ominous sentence: “It’s good to have you back, Buck. Whoever that guy was, I’ll always be grateful.”

“He told me to call him Chuck.”

The words were simple, really, nothing out of ordinary for untrained ears. Except it had you both you and Steve choke on your own spit.

A frown appeared on Bucky’s face, confusion with a hint of alarm before he rolled his eyes at your antics. “What? I know, it’s kinda dorky-“

Yeah, that was not it.

A chilling suspicion crept up your spine and while it was not necessarily ominous, it sure as hell felt like the ground was shaking under your feet, proving you that a sense of control over your life was nothing but a ridiculous illusion.

“Steve? How about we make a phone call?”

Five minutes later, you were video-chatting with the Winchester duo, explaining them your concerns. Bucky was with you and Steve but didn’t engage that much since he never really met either Sam or Dean, rather wary of them.

A photo of a dorky looking man indeed, with cute dark curls around his head and a full beard, appeared on the screen, replacing the video-feed.

“Did he look like this?” Sam asked, tension audible in his voice. It still had nothing to the disbelief in Bucky’s.

“Yeah, that’s him,” the supersoldier confirmed, narrowing his eyes, which didn’t quite disguised how incredulous he was. “How did you-?”

“Is it… him?” you interrupted them, strange tingling sensation in your fingertips, light nausea tickling your stomach.

Was there any coincidence in his world left? What the hell did all of this mean? Was Steve just a lucky guy, God’s favourite, or… or was there a larger scheme, one you weren’t able to see just yet?

It reminded you of the talk you had had with Sam Wilson what felt like ages ago, about people having two soulmates, you coming back from the death and about things that were beyond your understanding happening more and more often. This might actually prove your silly theory right. Not to mention the fact that the death of Tony’s parents was delivered by another Winter Soldier, conveniently at the same time Bucky had been having troubles with the mechanics of his metal arm, hence not being suitable for the task – what were the chances of that?

It seemed that every single thing happening had played an important role in something, ending up with your trio sitting right here and now and… that was not a very comfortable discovery.

“Oh yeah, that’s God,” Dean hummed casually and when the picture disappeared, revealing the brothers again, you saw him take a bite of a cheeseburger as if this was a talk about the fucking weather.

“God?” Bucky parroted dully and you bit your cheek, feeling guilty for not quite having explained to him why you wanted to talk to the Winchesters and what had been your suspicion; now proved right.

“Yeah,” Sam supplied helpfully, only to have Bucky repeat the word as if he was testing the taste of it on his tongue.

“A god.”

“The God, actually. Our Lord is one of kind,” Castiel appeared on the screen as well, offering a small wave that you reciprocated, too shocked to say hi.

“Except he has a sister, apparently,” Steve stated, checking with the hunters and they nodded in approval. “So you’re not denying it? You think… ugh, that The Chuck saved him.”

You made a face at his wording, but… yeah. The Chuck. The God named Chuck had saved both Bucky and you. It was official. But why? What the hell was your life anymore?

How cute and bold of you to call your life yours, you thought darkly.

“H’d weed’l,” Dean mumbled with his mouth full and shrugged. With effort, you translated it into ‘heard weirded’, which was… fair.

“You think God, capital G, saved me. Why the heck would he do that?” Bucky spitted out exasperatedly, clearly not happy about the revelation.

Eh. Revelation.

Steve tensed at your side at Bucky’s doubts, but said nothing.

“Why not?” Sam questioned, offering a small smile. Dean remained quiet, while Castiel tilted his head, seemingly curious.

“What’s the matter? Don’t you think you deserve to be saved?”

“Yeaaaah, let’s not go there,” you interjected when you noticed Bucky’s chest heaving and words in Russian spilling from his lips soundlessly. Steve sighed, but apparently assessed it was better to let Bucky deal with the facts alone first. “Thanks for confirming our suspicions.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Castiel asked, sounding adorably confused and guilty.

“No, Castiel. It is just a lot to take it.” Understatement of the fucking year. “Speaking of which – I have a question.”

“Shoot,” Dean encouraged you, but his eyes narrowed in suspicion as the corners of your lips twitched.

“When you told me about the, eh, lovely things that walk this world... you didn’t mention a scarecrow.”

“…huh?”

Their confusion seemed pretty real to you, but you had to admit you were probably being too vague. So you decided to ask a direct question.

“Alright, sorry. This might sound stupid, but… there was this series of books Jarvis found online? I wouldn’t think much of it, except the characters are named Sam and Dean, they do hunt monsters and if I’m being honest, they definitely do act like you. So I just thought… you know. Stranger things happened…“

During your ramble, the friendly faces of the brothers gradually twisted into a disgusted grimace and you had your answer, much to your astonishment.

“I swear, Sam, I’m going to murder Becky. I’m going to kill her and kill her dead,” Dean sputtered and Sam just closed his eyes, his lips a thin line. “I can’t believe you almost married-“

Wait, what? That sounded even more interesting that the books! Though kinda private. Then again, the books described Winchesters’ lives in awful detail as far as you knew. And ended when Dean literally went to hell, so…

“How much of that thing you read?” Sam asked tiredly, his expression screaming annoyance.

You shrugged. “Not much. Kinda changes the experience when you have a good reason to believe it’s all true. Clint’s hooked, though,” you admitted, hoping it wasn’t showing how much you were enjoying the teasing.

On one hand, this was hilarious. On the other, well…

“Did you sell your story to the writer?” you pried, simply out of curiosity. No judgement there; they had enough shit in their lives as it was, being short on money was not helping, so why not use what they got.

“No!” Sam blurted out too eagerly, then cleared his throat. “No. But you’re going to like this. Carver Edlund is a penname. I give you one guess on what his ‘real’ name is.”

You squinted at the screen, not following why Sam made the air quotes.

“No clue...?”

“Chuck Shirley,” Dean announced, grinning, somehow managing to balance smugness and annoyance on his face.

“Huh?”

“Wait—Chuck? Why do I think this isn’t a coincidence?” Steve stepped in, which caused your head to snap at him.

Surely, he wasn’t implying that-

“Oh yeah. It’s exactly what you think,” Dean assured you, finishing his burger while you and Steve remained silent, simply at loss of words. What…? “You know, when people say God works in mysterious ways, they have no friggin’ idea,” he added resolutely, wiping his mouth, balling his napkin and throwing it direction of what you assumed was a trashcan; judging by the disappointed frown on his face and the hands thrown up by Sam, he missed.

So. God was a writer.

God went by a penname, writing about Sam’s and Dean’s lives to make his living at some point.

It actually made sense; this whole thing, the grand scheme you were thinking about earlier, it sounded awfully like a plot of a freaking novel. No, scratch that, not a novel – an epos about Steve’s life, with features of a soap-opera. You did not enjoy being one of the characters, but apparently you had no choice.

There was literally nothing that would surprise you at this point. Seriously.

“Great. I don’t think I actually wanted to know that,” you stated, shaking off your thoughts. “Anyway. How is your week going so far?”

“Wonderfully. We ran into Rowena again,” Sam announced, obviously happy to change the topic. “Well, I called her. Dean lost his memory.”

Dean what?!

“Because of a spell!”

“Well, yeah. Doesn’t change the fact you called a lamp a light stick,” Sam mocked him, but you could see the relief in his features when he was able to do that. Because that meant Dean was okay. After all, you were talking to him and he appeared as always; with no manners, grinning, bickering with Sam and with all the knowledge of the hunting world he needed.

Your eyebrows rose anyway. A light stick?

“Dude! It’s a stick that produces light,” Dean exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air animatedly. “I was still a genius.”

That made you smile; hundred percent Dean. Yeah, he was just fine, fully recovered.

“I’m sure you were, Dean. You okay now?”

“Yeah. The Wicked Witch actually used some of that soulmate magic to heal-“ Sam started and stopped when he saw Steve’s face – something you had no courage to look at, because you had kinda… you had been vague when it came what exactly the witch had done – mainly because you had very little knowledge of it. “-never mind. I guess he can just cross out ‘amnesia’ from his bucket list.”

“Mm. Not pleasant. Been there. Done that,” you mused, your expression no doubt as bitter and wry as you felt.

“Well, so did I,” Bucky supplied darkly, his first words since the big discovery of who had been his salvation.

Duh. Salvation. You really should start thinking about your choice of words. This was not funny at all.

“Me as well,” Castiel joined the club.

“I don’t think I have…”

“Maybe you just forgot,” Dean nudged Sam, offering a lopsided grin.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

“Why are you insulting each other…?” Castiel demanded, confused, and you laughed when Dean rolled his eyes, waving at you in goodbye, signalling to leave them be so they could explain the angel how humans worked sometimes.

You obediently ended the call, chuckling. They would have to visit one day – you missed them, despite calling them on a regular basis.

You eyed the two supersoldiers keeping you company in the common room, wondering what to do next.

“Alright. Now that we established we all deserve to be saved,” you stated, glaring at Steve, because you were aware of him questioning his survival of ice too – rarely, but still – and at Bucky, the man who had been frozen, unfrozen and mind-controlled, took lives against his will and had his own life taken away only to be rescued and question his worth.

“I think we know what we need now. Ice-cream!” you called out, raising your arms above your head theatrically, earning a chuckle from Steve.

“You scream?” Bucky looked at you, pretending to be confused.

“She does. Why would you scream, doll?”

You rolled your eyes fondly. They were lovely pieces of work when they teamed up to troll anyone. You were happy for it though, mostly for Bucky who was still struggling to adjust to his new life.

“Yeah, okay, I get it. We all scream, okay? What I’m saying is that we all scream for some ‘I scream,’ now give me my cookie crisp or I’ll show what moves Natasha taught me.”

You were not kidding. Natasha had learned you some basics of self-defence; Steve’s request, supported by you wholeheartedly. And by Tony. And Ryan. And everyone, to be honest.

“You should leave your moves for Steve to show only, sugar.”

“Ah, screw you, Barnes!” you spitted back, rising to your feet, and stuck your tongue at him.

“Such language! And again, I really think you should hide your tongue and do that only with St-“

You grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him towards the kitchen as Bucky’s snicker sounded behind you. You never even opened the freezer, parking your backside on the counter, tugging Steve for a kiss instead. He laughed at first, but reciprocated the affection, slowly melting into it.

“Your friend’s such a little shit,” you hissed, but giggled into his shoulder. You felt… full. Happy. Right. You didn’t want to think about grand schemes anymore. You wanted to live and you had every opportunity. You were not going to waste it.

“I know,” Steve hummed, his chest shaking with hushed laughter, and he kissed the top of your head, while he wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer, stepping between your legs.

“You got that from him.”

“I think it was the other way around.”

You huffed and looked up again, finding Steve’s brilliant eyes twinkling with mischief. It was as adorable as stimulating; he always had this look in his eyes when he was up to no good and it often resulted in it being very good for you, usually tangled in the sheets. Or pressed against a wall. Or a table. Couch. Counter…

You wrapped your fingers around his nape and he obediently gave up to the pressure, bowing his head to meet you lips.

“Doesn’t matter. Kiss me like you mean it,” you requested lowly and you knew, just knew, that he would never deny you, definitely not that.

“As you wish…”

You barely had time to truly sink into the kiss, a sweet and passionate dance of lips, teasing teeth and tongues when an exasperated voice of a man arriving to collect his ice-cream interrupted you.

“Guys! Come on! Not in the kitchen! We eat here!”

So would Steve, flashed through your mind, but you withdrew a fraction, Steve’s mouth having frozen on yours anyway.

“Shut your piehole and let me follow your own advice!” you called out.

“I hate you,” Bucky deadpanned and you sent him an air kiss, hopping off the counter to have another sweet treat instead. After all, it was ten in the morning and you were in the kitchen. You could talk Steve into taking a ‘nap’ later.

“And that’s exactly why they compare you to the grumpy cat memes,” you threw back at Bucky, basking in the mock-insulted face the poor supersoldier made. You had introduced him to the meme after Clint had mentioned it. It was glorious. And very fitting.

“Punk, get hold of your bratty gal!”

Steve just shook his head at the childish behaviour – both yours and Bucky’s – and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. A fraction of second later, he grinned.

“I was doing just that until you interrupted,” he pointed out while he was pulling out three spoons.

Your laughter and the slap of a high-five you exchanged with Steve was probably heard in the whole Tower.

You had no care in the world.

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S.R. masterlist

B.B.masterlist

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Just a silly fluffy thing maybe, but hey… I thought I could share... to fill the time till December meaning an Andy fic :)

Thank you for reading!

Also, the last instalment will be ‘What I’d Never Say and Do (If I Was in My Right Mind)’

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rowaning · 3 years

Conversation

The Complete Fiction of HP Lovecraft rated by me, someone who read them all* but has a terrible memory

The Beast in The Cave: uh a guy goes on a cave tour and finds a creature that was like a human that got lost and adapted to its surroundings. 0/10 just because im pretty sure there was another one with this exact premise and neither of them were memorable at all.

The Alchemist: dude achieves immortality and lives in the narrators basement and has pledged to murder his entire lineage or something. 4/10 the alchemy stuff was actually kind of interesting

The Tomb: im pretty sure this is the one where a guy starts hanging out in a tomb and like travels back in time/becomes one of his ancestors? 5/10 if its the one im thinking of i did enjoy reading it

Dagon: guy lands on a mysterious island with signs of a long dead civilization. 1/10 i do not remember what happened in it

A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson: 0/10 i have no memory of this

Polaris: also 0/10 i forgot all about it

Beyond the Wall of Sleep: could be any of the dream focused ones. if its the one about the dude sailing into the void or whatever than 4/10 not too bad

Memory: ironically, i dont remember it. 0/10

Old Bugs: 1/10 for the title god i wish i remembered this one

The Transition of Juan Romero: i got nothing. 0/10

The White Ship: this might also be the one about the dude sailing into the void? i liked that one he lived in a lighthouse and boarded a dream ship and just fucking left it was fun. 4/10

The Street: uh i think really steep street that didnt actually exist. 3/10

The Doom that Came to Sarnath: i wanna say another one of the dream centered ones where a town discovers some old relics and blatantly disrespects them and gets exactly whats coming to it. 5/10 they deserved what they got

The Statement of Randolph Carter: ok this dude shows up several times. i think this one is about how he returns to his childhood home then travels back in time and creates a time loop paradox thing. 1/10 meh

The Terrible Old Man: uh some thieves harrass a weird old guy and get got. 5/10

The Cats of Ulthar: someone is mean to a cat in a dream city, all of the rest of the cats get revenge and are revered for the rest of time. 2/10 (-3 because lovecraft has a specific name he gives to apparently every fictional and real cat he encounters and wow i wish he hadn't)

The Tree: i feel like this is something to do with a person becoming a tree but i cant actually remember. 0/10

Celephais: yeah no i got nothing 0/10

The Picture in the House: also nothing 0/10

The Temple: nope 0/10

Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: is this the one where the dude's great grandfather married an ape? i dont think so but im not sure. 0/10, -5/10 if it is that one cause that one was especially shitty

From Beyond: nope 0/10

Nyarlathotep: charismatic dude shows up and is like get in bitches we're going to the void. i love nyarlathotep cause hes the one who directly interacts with humanity and like wears a human suit or whatever so hes just some dude whos like hey im gonna feed you to azathoth 5/0

The Quest of Iranon: got nothing 0/10

The Music of Erich Zann: narrator makes friends with an old musician whos being hunted by supernatural forces. 2/10 because i remember it but it was just ok

Ex Oblivione: 1/10 for the title but i have no clue what it was about

Sweet Ermengarde: lovecraft's sole attempt at comedy. not to my taste like at all 0/10

The Nameless city: nope 0/10

The Outsider: also nope 0/10

The Moon-Bog: sounds cool, dont remember it. 0/10

The Other Gods: dude tries to find the gods of humanity where they live on a big mountain, actually finds them, is immediately smited by the Other Gods who protect the gods of humanity. 3/10 he deserved it

Azathoth: dont recall, 0/10

Herbert West- Reanimator: Arkham man Herbert West and his assistant ressurect the dead with little thought to the consequences, then get murdered by a band of said resurrected dead. 5/10

Hypnos: nope 0/10

What the Moon Brings: also nope 0/10

The Hound: still nope 0/10

The Lurking Fear: again, nope 0/10

The Rats in the Walls: dude returns to his ancestral home, hears rats, excavates the basement and finds out that his ancestors ate human flesh, eats his friend. 1/10 it was an interesting read but can lovecraft please stop calling cats that.

The Unnameable: no clue 0/10

The Festival: nope 0/10

*Under the Pyramids: ok im pretty sure this is the one with houdini which is the only one i could not read. i went into this mentally prepared for lovecraft's bigotry but i was not mentally prepared for him dropping harry houdini, avid skeptic who absolutely would have beat the shit out of him for this, into the middle of his super racist paranormal horror. -1000/10

The Shunned House: nope 0/10

The Horror at Red Hook: also nope 0/10

He: cool title, no memory of the story. 0/10

In the Vault: wow im bad at this. 0/10

Cool Air: still no 0/10

The Call of Cthulhu: kind of all over the place, there was a thing about artists and then a thing about a cop investigating a cult. 3/10 meh but ill give it a bonus for being a staple of horror fiction.

Pickman's Model: uh artist sees some wild shit and draws it and then it eats him. 2/10 i forget the details

The Strange High House in the Mist: if this is the one im thinking of, dude does a dangerous climb to find a mysterious house and meet the inhabitant who is kind of interdimensional and also being hunted by interdimensional things. also maybe the house eats people? 2/10

The Silver Key: another Randolph Carter one, and i think this is actually the one about him travelling back in time so idk what the other one was. 3/10

The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath: randolph carter goes on a quest in the dream world to find the gods of humanity and ask why they wont let him check out this cool city he can see from his window. lots of action and very wordy and went a lot of different places. 4/10 good read but extremely xenophobic

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: guy investigates his ancestor who looks disturbingly like him, ancestor comes back to life and kills him and takes his place and a bunch of other stuff happens. mostly a dramatized genealogical study. 3/10 not bad, very suspenseful

The Colour Out Of Space: meteor lands on a farm, scientists get weirded out by it, everything in the area gets weird then dead, alien thing gets enough power from draining nearby life-forms to escape earth. fun twist ending. 4/10 bonus for being one of the better ones, detraction for writing out a 'rural accent'

The Descendant: nope, 0/10

The Very Old Folk: nope again, 0/10

History of the Necronomicon: very dry. fake history of lovecraft's fake book thats super important to a lot of the stories. 0/10

The Dunwich Horror: isolated witchy family has a kid who no one likes that grows up real fast. graphic descriptions of renovation. a horror gets unleashed on the area and the local folklore scholars have to deal with it. 1/10 nothing good enough to counter the xenophobia

Ibid: i remember this one. no idea what it's deal was. pseudo-bibliography? it was weird. 0/10

The Whisperer in Darkness: guy has a correspondance with another guy about local folk legends based on evil crab things. other guy gets straight up replaced by an evil crab thing and first guy doesnt even notice. imagine if you followed up on a scam email and didnt realize anything was up until you saw that the face of the dude you were talking to in person was a mask. 4/10 for the comedy this guy would not last in the internet age at all

At The Mountains of Madness: guy whines about penguins and how awful it would be if there were civilizations that predated humanity. also commits grave desecration. i get hit by the realization that if lovecraft was less of a racist coward he wouldve made a great speculative sci fi author. 3/10 i would love to watch that old asshole get absolutely torn to shreds by the monster fucker community

The Shadow over Innsmouth: Fish People! Leave Them Alone! Or Else! 5/10 the protagonist gets to live the dream by escaping human society and becoming an immortal fish person

The Dreams in the Witch House: dude rents an objectively haunted room, doesnt listen to people trying to help him, gets murdered by a weird rat. later they find a shit ton of bones in the attic. 2/10 meh

Through The Gates of the Silver Key: Randolph Carter transcends time and space, then de-transcends time and space and immediately gets stuck on another planet in the distant past, makes a long and difficult journey back to earth to find that his estate is being divided amongst his heirs. the comedy potential of a man stuck in an alien body dealing with a legal system that has declared him dead is not examined. 2/10

The Thing on the Doorstep: narrator's good friend marries a fish person witch who steals his body. thats basically it. 3/10. at this point im like wow these narrators really refuse to believe the heavily foreshadowed supernatural explanations that turn out to be correct huh.

The Evil Clergyman: dude is in a room. some ghosts (?) show up. dude has a UV light for some reason. Gets his face stolen i guess and just has to live with it. 5/10 for being absolutely buck wild and refusing to explain anything

The Book: nope 0/10

The Shadow Out Of Time: dude gets his body stolen by ancient scholar species. agonizes about it for a while. finds archaeological evidence of said species. finds a book he wrote while living with said species. almost gets eaten by something. 3/10 more cool speculative sci fi but lame protagonist

The Haunter of the Dark: you'd think id remember it bc this was the last one and i read it last night. oh wait, nvm i do remember it. dude finds an old box in a run down culty church and unleashes a horror that then comes and fucks him up. 1/10 meh.

#tw lovecraft #i have forgotten more than i can remember #which is on par for me

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hellofromthe-otter-slide · 3 years

Note

1-65 😈

Well, this is literally every question, so everything is under the cut.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Not really

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Mostly a 2, but girlfriend made me go see Candyman last weekend, so right now it's a 3.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Uhhhhh, I don't know, Elon Musk? He sounds insufferable

4. What is your favorite word?

Okay, I'm gonna grab a German word for this one. Eichhörnchen. It means squirrel and it's borderline impossible to say

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A big ole oak tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

That weird hair bump is back and I didn't even go to sleep with wet hair

7. What shirt are you wearing?

My girlfriend's tie dyed shirt with a middle finger on it

8. What do you label yourself as?

Latina, gay, nonbinary

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark room. Whoever turns of the big lights are fucking monsters

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I'm pretty sure I was asleep

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

My age now, so 25

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My girlfriend

13. Your worst enemy?

My instructional coach. Straight up

14. What is your current desktop picture?

The bridal party for my friend's wedding I was in

15. Do you like someone?

Yes. I'm sadly dating her

16. The last song you listened to?

That's What You Get by Paramore

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Goodbye, Jeff Bezos

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Second verse, same as the first (Jeff Bezos). For people I know in real life, my instructional coach

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I...do not like this question. No one. Everyone is Dobby, now a free elf

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My eyes. Only one in the family to inherit my grandmother's green eyes

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I'd dress the same and probably just go about my day

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Gift giving. I always deep dive to figure out the perfect present

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Um, fire. I don't fuck with that shit anywhere near me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Wheat bread, a little mayo, spicy brown mustard, hummus, white cheddar cheese, tofurkey, sliced tomato, avocado

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Probably something responsible, like buy a vacuum

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Tokyo

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I think it's called Rumchata? Like alcoholic horchata?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

If any man is seen instituting patriarchal rules, he is fed to the beast

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

A print my girlfriend got me that's framed

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Oh geez. Um, all of it? Start with a clean slate

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Germany, my second home. I'm coming back

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Sydney, my German Shepard growing up

34. What was your last dream about?

Oof. It was a nightmare that I don't really remember

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

I am a good writer, I think. Good enough to make my friends upset about the angst I wrote

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yup! Broke my ankle

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I'm from Indiana, so yes. It's not as easy as it looks

38. What is the color of your socks?

While I usually wear colorful, fun socks, I am currently barefoot

39. What type of music do you like?

Whatever Aly & AJ are doing

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Mint chocolate chip

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I mean, I was just forced to watch the UGA game

43. Do you have any scars?

Two from the aforementioned broken ankle. Had to get surgery

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I am a teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

That mental illness can just shoo

46. Are you reliable?

Very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

What the fuck is going on?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Nope

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Otters and sloths

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

My best friend taught me about oviposition once

51. Are you a good liar?

Yup

52. How long could you go without talking?

So long

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

My mom cutting off all of my hair during first grade

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yup

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Very many

56. What do you like on your toast?

Honey and butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

A lighthouse

58. What would be you dream car?

An electric one. I'm tired of paying for gas

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing and conduct fake interviews about my writing

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yep

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Never

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

They look weird as newborns

65: you didn't give me an extra question here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#people ask me things?#renaissance dilettante #to everyone else #im sorry

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