#jesus fucking christ this show has a lot of edit tags

[eddievedders]

BELLA RAMSEY and PEDRO PASCAL as ELLIE WILLIAMS and JOEL MILLER. The Last of Us – 1.06 “Kin”.

#The Last of Us #tlouedit #hbotlou #tlounetwork #tloudaily #thelastofusedit #tlouhboedit #Bella Ramsey #Pedro Pascal #userbbelcher #dailyflicks #chewieblog #jesus fucking christ this show has a lot of edit tags #also f*ck you sun flare. f*ck you to infinity. #Joel remembering he's got a 14yo with him in the last 2 gifs #also i love her i would fight a clicker for her #my stuff #mine: endure and survive #tlou spoilers

[sunshinediaz]

2023 fic writing review

rules and tags below the cut because phew, it got long!

rules: feel free to show whatever stats you have. only want to show ao3 stats? rock on. want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? please do this. want to change how yours is presented? absolutely do that.

words and fics

words: 237, 627

most recent: the house i built is burning, where eddie and buck's house burns down, oops

longest fic: technically this, but it's actually deck the halls (and your in-laws), where the diaz and buckley parents show up to spend christmas with the boys, oh my

shortest fic: i love you best when you're just yourself, where buck's in his head about picking out a christmas tree

favorite fic: tied between the dinosaurs smelled magnolias, where eddie proposes to buck with his dick inside buck, and but i've got my teeth in you, where buck gets a tooth knocked out and eddie is Normal about it

most kudos: the side effects of eating too many clementines, where eddie realizes he's in love with buck over oranges in his kitchen

least kudos: mississsippi, where eddie and buck indulge in piss play

events

bad things happen bingo, round one

upcoming events and projects for the new year

finish hoa eddie, who's halfway done at 33k

continue to work on my bad things happen bingo card

clementines smut

5+1(+1) fic where eddie asks buck to marry him

wildfire fic

soft dom eddie series

eddie and buck post-lightning strike

bobby nash's guide to surviving evan buckley and eddie diaz

backdraft au

bullrider buck and rodeo clown eddie au

alpha/alpha buck and eddie

911angstinautumn?

spur of the moment fics i'm sure will wiggle in my brain

achievements

published 20 fics for buck/eddie in 7 months which is so fucking cool

met a lot of really cool people (TENTOESDOWN will live in infamy)

wrote over 50k in the month of december because i decided to challenge myself, jesus christ

goals

write and publish at least 25 fics

learn to edit pictures

finally rewatch s1

write more fics from buck's pov

(at the sake of being ooey gooey, 2023 has been kind to me in the sense i've figured out my future and fallen back in a fandom that's so fun and fresh and enjoyable i can't get enough of it. lots of that is because of the people i surround myself with, and i'm not going to get every individual person but i love you guys lots and i really, really mean that. can't wait to see what 2024 brings us 🥂)

i was tagged by @hippolotamus, @monsterrae1, @exhuastedpigeon, @wikiangela, @honestlydarkprincess, @theotherbuckley, @jamespearce9-1-1, @jesuisici33, @thewolvesof1998, @callmenewbie, and @devirnis <3

tagging @spagheddiediaz and @jeeyuns because they'll yell at me if i don't

#i know i did this weeks late but i wanted to wait till i had all the numbers okay 😭 #and it got so fucking long for no goddamn reason but it's FINE #it's an hour and a half till midnight here and i think i am going to bed before then #tag games

[insomanic-fanfication]

🍃🌹I feel like this could help my Mutal Writers🌹🍃

Author's note: Writing can be entertaining and a way to let that creativity from your mind flow. For some, it can even be a coping mechanism. However, you can even get burnt out from things that you enjoy. That's okay! And it is, in fact, normal! Believe it or not, even professionals get writer's block; it's part of the writing process to help you think outside the box or different perspective.

Sources to help with writer's block:

How has my writing process been? How do I tend to do writing?:

Let me use one of my drafts as an example! Important understanding: When figuring out how to eliminate your own writer's block or write your fanfictions. It's prevalent to see how others write or their working process and feel discouraged when their way doesn't work for you. So here is some context about myself before I show you my writing process and why it works for me. While it may not work for others.

I am an Autistic 19-year-old (20 in 4 months, Jesus fucking Christ..), Transman. Working a full-time job and made this blog a side project and hobby. While being polyamorous, I am also Ace! So this will bleed into my writing without me knowing.

I've found ways to help me write are being in places where other people are working too; this is why you can often spot them in local coffee shops. Seeing a lot of college students and genius people working on their laptops and being productive tends to help me do the same!

Whereas, if I stayed in my room, I find it's much easier to get distracted or begin to procrastinate.

My actual writing process, Using one of my drafts as an example:

Draft in Question: "Shotgunning" Stoner Wally West x Male Reader

The title, content warning, author's notes, and summary are great places to start. It can help you understand where to take the fanfiction, no matter how long it's been since you opened the draft.

Don't be afraid if you don't know exactly where to start! There is no rule saying you have to start at the beginning of the fanfiction; if you have an idea of part of it, then you can start from there. Once you write that part, make a paragraph about how the situation gets to that point. Doing the same after the section.

The 2 purpose rule:

"When re-reading to edit, there must be 2 reasons for the edit that furthers the plot."

As someone that creates something, we often become our most prominent critic by deleting an entire paragraph because we believe it's not good enough. This is where we can become burnt out or discouraged about our writing abilities. By doing this, you are limiting your editing and, in return, limiting your stress about getting it " just right."

An expectation of this rule is to make sure the work is easy to follow. Write as much as you can, then step back from it for an hour or two, Then re-read it and write for better clarity. Only allow yourself to do this once or twice after finishing the fanfiction. Then press post! Post it before your anxiety tells you to keep editing or "Let's change this one thing first.". No! You're done, post or schedule it, and go to the next draft!

______________________________________________________________

I hope this helped someone that's struggling with some things. If the draft seemed interesting, check out my blog or more posts! I also reblog others' works; check out my reblog master list!

Have a fanfiction idea that you don't have time to write yourself? Request it! My request/ ask inbox is always opened!

Tags: @prismuffin @n0cturna1-m3 @gatorbites-imagines

#Youtube #writers block #writer problems #creative writing #transman writer #fanfication #helping fellow writers #fanfication writers #Crow!Writes

[hatsukeii]

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu tsukki #haikyuu tsukishima #hq #hq x reader #hq tsukki #hq imagines #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima imagines #kei tsukishima #tsukki #manga #anime #x reader

[twokinkybeans]

Soulmates Aren’t Real - Soulmate!AU

Summary: Seven years ago, a “study” found that people who get incredibly close to death, meet their soulmate in their minds. People described them as an angel in the darkness, a light at the end of the tunnel. The idea alone made Tony want to hurl. It’s stupid. Bullshit. Soulmates aren't real.

Sure, Tony zapped himself every now and then. Occupational hazard. But as of yet, he hasn’t come close enough to death to object the study with facts. And though he is a curious man by nature, he’s not that curious. His "soulmate" will show up on their own time. And if they don’t? They don’t. Whatever. Tony can tinker all he likes. He’s content in his lab. Even if it’s a little quiet sometimes...

-

Or: Every time Tony nearly dies in the MCU canon, he sees and talks with Peter (who ages appropriately - aka during Iron Man 1, Peter is 6 years old, etc etc etc). It’s a little Cinderella like, if you ask me, aha!

-

Author’s note: Hi everyone! This started as a small idea that I just wanted to get out of my brain. Took me two Saturdays to write and it's barely edited, aha. I hope you enjoy it, though! <3 -Lien

Words: 3589

Warnings/tags: Fluff, Angst, Soulmate!AU, Mentions of death (a lot), Mentions of attempted near-suicide, read this however you like, I wrote this as Irondad.

Read Soulmates Aren’t Real on AO3!

   Occasionally, Tony wonders how much he resembles Sherlock Holmes. He drinks a lot more than what’s probably healthy and he thinks faster than other people around him. Though, he is of the opinion that everyone deserves a chance, not all deserve kindness. He likes being alone, tinkering, and losing track of the days. He actually enjoys fucking up his sleeping patterns, since it means he’s being productive. He’s in a flow. He’s busy.    Right now, he’s absolutely certain he’s Sherlock Holmes. The only reason being this one single thought that keeps bouncing through his head every time he scoffs and rereads the article in front of him. People are idiots. Tony would love to have a Watson by his side, but unfortunately for him, his soulmate has yet to show their face. Speaking of soulmates, the article is about just that.    Seven years ago, a “study” found that people who get incredibly close to death, meet their soulmate in their minds. People described them as an angel in the darkness, a light at the end of the tunnel. The idea alone made Tony want to hurl. It’s stupid. Bullshit. Soulmates aren't real. Those people who cheated death claim that some rando they meet is the one they saw when they nearly died. That they belong together. People cheated over this, saying that the person they saw when they died looked nothing like their current partner, or maybe like another friend. The study ripped apart tons of marriages and while that’s partially why Tony thinks people are idiots, there is another reason. The reason that is in the article he’s reading.    Death therapy. Jesus Christ, who even came up with that shit? More and more people want to know who their soulmate is. If who they are with now is the right person. If they will ever meet them. If they already lost them. And so, they try to almost die. Drug abuse, waterboarding, even playing with electrical equipment and guns. Idiots. People are idiots. And this whole article is about some kind of soulmate cult where groups of twenty all try to get as close to death as they can just so they can get a glimpse of what their soulmate looks like. Stupid. Stupid. STUPID.    The people who organize those things are predators, aiming to get as much money out of people as they possibly can. Let them sign wavers that if they do die, which happens ninety percent of the time, the cult can’t be held accountable. Death rates have risen significantly since the study came out and it’s insane. Soulmates don’t exist and nearly dying for the sake of having a looksie at the true love of your life is psychotic. A money-grab, to scam people who are extremely gullible. And oh, boy, are there many gullible people on this hell of an earth. If only they knew all this crap was fake. So many innocent lives would be spared.    Sure, Tony zapped himself every now and then. Occupational hazard. But as of yet, he hasn’t come close enough to death to object the study with facts. And though he is a curious man by nature, he’s not that curious. His Watson will show up on their own time. And if they don’t? They don’t. Whatever. Tony can tinker all he likes. He’s content in his lab. Even if it’s a little quiet sometimes... ...    Afghanistan. The deal was supposed to be the greatest Tony had ever shook hands on. And then everything went to shit. The missile. The explosion. Darkness. And then a fuck ton of pain, clawing at his chest. He could hear someone screaming but he wasn’t sure who. Was it… Was he screaming? God, it hurt. Ached. Burned. Scratched. He was gasping for air and he wasn’t sure if his body could hold out any longer- if he could hold out any longer.    “Hello, there? Sir?” A small voice asks. Tony gasps and writhes, turning on his stomach before crawling up to be met with a boy. Pale skin, brown hair and brown eyes. Cute. “Are you okay? Mister?” Tony brings his hand to his chest in an attempt to feel where the horrific pain is- was? It’s gone. He’s fine. When did that happen? Is he… Is he dying? Or is he already dead?   “Hey, there, kid,” he sighs, somehow grateful that the hell he was in has passed. He doesn’t exactly want the child to be part of his panic, so he takes a glance at his seemingly infinite surroundings and casually asks his question. “Where are your parents?” The boy looks around, pursing his lips and raising his eyebrows. He then turns to stare at Tony with his big eyes.   “I dunno.” Tony moves so that he’s at eye level with the boy and studies him.        It’s only then that it dawns on him that… Oh, God. Nope. No, this isn’t real. It’s stupid and fake and there’s no way this little kid could be his soulmate. It’s just his dying brain, giving him something to work with before he vanishes into nothingness. Normally, he wouldn’t get anywhere near children. They were quite the liability and honestly the epitome of contrast to his bombostuous life. His biggest fear has always been one of his bed partners showing up on his doorstep, carrying a baby. His baby. He has no time for that. Or well, had. Since it’s his last moments alive, he might as well indulge the imaginary kid.        “How old are you?” The boy thinks for a second and then looks at his hands. He raises one, fingers stretched out, and then the other; just a thumbs up.   “Six!”   “Six?” Tony smiles. “That’s a big number.”  “Mhm!” The boy nods aggressively. “Need two hands now.” He waves his little fist around and grins. He then looks down at his hands and looks back up. “How many hands do you need?”   “A couple more than you do, kid,” Tony scoffs.   “So, you’re like, really old?” Ugh. Kids.   “Old enough to be your dad.”   “You’re not, though!”   “Thank God, no.”        Tony sits down on his butt and pats the floor next to him.   “Mind doing me a favor, kid?” The boy sits down next to him and pulls in his legs, resting his head on top of them. “Depends, Mister. I’m not actually allowed to talk to strangers.” He thinks for a second and then continues. “And you’re about as strange as it gets.”   “Is that a compliment?” Tony chuckles.   “Depends on who you ask.” The reply has Tony scoff a laugh, louder, and he throws his head back This kid…         “Cheeky little thing, aren’t you?” The boy doesn’t reply. Instead, he hides his face to laugh himself. “So, the favor...” Tony starts, trying to get back the boy’s attention.  “Hm?”   “Just… Be kind, okay? If you really are out there… Life’s too short to-”        Tony opens his eyes, confused. He takes a second to assess his location. He’s lying on something hard and uncomfortable and there’s this dull, continuous ache in his chest. He groans when he realizes… Guess I’m not dying anytime soon.         ...    He was terrifically wrong about that. The organization that put him and Yinsen in that cave were absolute monsters. Tony knew better than to struggle a dozen men with big guns unarmed, but when they brought him to the trough with water, he fought nonetheless. His head was pushed in. His body convulsed and though his brain was telling him to stay calm and simply hold his breath, he kept fighting the aggression from his captors. It wasn’t long before he saw flashes again. Of the same boy.        “Mister?” The voice was muffled through the water in Tony’s ears. He wanted to yell at the boy, to look away from the trauma and ensure his safety, but whenever the kid became clear enough in his mind’s eye, he was pulled from the water for air, and then pushed back in, to start the process all over again…        Nobody was to know. He wasn’t going to tell anyone about this… Unnamed boy in his lucid dream. Nothing happened. He didn’t even say what his captors did to him, though with the arc reactor now glowing in his chest, people assumed the worst. If they asked him whether or not he saw someone, his answer was always the same.   “No.”        Tony regretted not asking the kid for his name, but then, everything would’ve become too personal anyways. And soulmates aren't real. Even though Tony had seen the boy on multiple occasions at this point. He should just stop almost dying, to be honest. Though, with his new job as Iron Man, he wasn’t sure if he could hold off on that. He ignored the boy’s worried touch on his thigh when he was paralyzed after his ex-business partner/mentor ripped out his new heart. He tried to tune out the encouraging words as he crawled down to his lab to push the old one back in. The boy was only a figment of his imagination. He couldn’t be real. He. Isn’t. Real.   ...      Palladium poisoning. Great stuff. You know what’s even greater? Being haunted by the ghost of an eleven-year-old. Tony never got close enough to death to even be able to say hi to the kid and he wasn’t sure if he was grateful or disappointed. The boy was still smaller than average. Clumsy, even. His glasses were cute, though. Red and gold. Iron Man themed. Adorable. He squeezed his eyes, trying to look through them. Maybe they were the wrong prescription?        The first time Tony saw him was when he was in the bathroom. In true horror-style fashion, the nerdy boy appeared in the mirror. When Tony yelped and turned, the kid was gone. He then appeared for a brief moment on the side of the road when Tony was racing the Formula One. The billionaire nearly crashed his car when he did his double take. From then on, everywhere Tony went, the oblivious boy would be by his side. Not being dead enough to talk to the kid, also meant he wasn’t dead enough for the kid to see him. It was torturous to see the boy play and learn and grow without being able to be a part of it. Funnily enough, Tony still didn’t like children. He just… He liked the boy. And no, it wasn’t because the kid was his soulmate. Soulmates aren't real.     ...    Tony was certain flying the nuke into the wormhole would be a one way trip. He’d see the boy one last time, maybe even be able to say goodbye and satiate his need to know the boy’s name, before he’d kick the bucket. At least he’d die peacefully, knowing he stopped an alien war on earth and therefore protected the boy. Twelve. He should be twelve now. Why Tony even bothered to remember the kid’s age, he didn’t know.        “Mr. Stark?” Tony’s vision blurs, the alien spaceship fading to black as his muscles lose tension and his suit gives up on him. He falls. But he doesn’t.   “Yeah, kid, I’m here. For the last time.” Tony frowns as he pulls in his legs, seated on the floor. He sniffs once and looks up to see the boy sitting across from him. “Hopefully.”   “Wait, you want to die?” The question was awfully direct, which makes Tony scoff.   “I’ve seen you so often now…” The barely dead billionaire glances to the side. “That can’t be healthy.” He purses his lips. “Also, the healing process of coming back from the dead is a pain in my butt. Pardon my French.”   “I like seeing you.” The boy fiddles with his fingers and looks down shyly.        “Do you really see me? Like, for real real?”   “I’m dreaming. It feels real, but I don’t talk about it with anyone.” The boy cocks his head and raises his shoulders casually. “I think we both think we’re each other’s imagination.”   “Well, we are, aren’t we?”  “Definitely.” The kid nods aggressively. He crosses his legs and looks at Tony through his long lashes. “Nobody believed me when I said I think you’re my soulmate because I dream about you. Then again, nobody nearly dies as often as you do.” They both chuckle, but the sound quickly fades. “They just think I idolize you a little too much.” The boy frowns and then straightens his back. “I mean, I do idolize you, I- I think you’re a genius! Your papers on Artificial Intelligence are groundbreaking-”   “Kid- you’re twelve, you shouldn’t even be able to read those.”

   “I…” The boy presses his lips on top of each other. “The books I have to read at school are boring.” He almost seems guilty about saying it. “Those papers are filled with big words, though. You understand all of it?” Tony stares at the boy in awe. “I Google things I don’t know, but context usually explains a lot.”     A short, stunned silence settles between the two of them. Tony can barely believe how smart this boy is. He calls Tony a genius, yet he is a genius himself. People who graduated university, specialized in Artificial Intelligence, ask Tony to clarify his papers. So either the boy is messing with him, trying to seem big, or he’s actually incredibly bright. The thought alone makes Tony reminisce about the first time he met the boy, when he still had to use two hands to show Tony how old he was. That was six years ago. Six. He’s fairly certain the boy is a terrible liar, though. And he’s not lying now.     Tony’s eyes open wide, every muscle in his body clenches at the sound of the Hulk’s roar right next to him. There was so much he still wanted to ask the boy. At least he was still alive. Maybe he’ll find him and if not, Tony hopes he’ll near-die again soon. ...     He didn’t expect his own Malibu house crashing down on him and forcing him into the sea to drown being the way he’d go. He’d never been in a worse situation than this. There was no one there to save him. He’d die, never having met his soulmate. Who knows, maybe they’ll meet again in the afterlife, one day. Tony closes his eyes and lets the quiet wash over him as his suit shuts down.     The silence is broken by a quiet sob. The sound brings Tony back to the half-afterlife present and he opens his eyes. The boy is sitting right in front of him again, crying visibly and audibly. “Hey, hey-” Tony moves forward to place a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” “I don’t want you to die, Mister Stark.” “What makes you think it’s for real this time?” “You just said it yourself,” he sobs. “There’s no one to save you now.” “You heard that?” The boy nods, face twisted. “Well, since I’m still here, I’m not gone yet,” Tony tries with a smile. The boy looks up, tears streaming down his face and shoulders slightly shaking. His red cheeks puff and he sniffs. “We haven’t even met-” The boy squeezes his eyes shut and pushes in, hugging Tony’s chest tightly. The man raises his arms in surprise, but hearing the kid sob, breaks his heart in ways he never thought possible. He embraces the boy and rests his head on top of his. “I can’t lose you too.”     “Too?” Tony’s voice cracks and he clears his throat, trying to remain composed. “M-my parents-” Oh, no. Tony immediately pushes the boy away from his chest and ducks his head, forcing the boy to look in his eyes. “Kid, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. I’m going to meet you, ‘kay? Give me your name and I’ll find you.” “Promise?” “Promise.” The boy takes a second to collect himself and Tony wipes his tears with the sleeve of his shirt. “My name’s P-”     The second it dawned on Tony that he was still alive, but without the knowledge of the boy’s name, he wanted to cry. And so he did. He was in snowy Tennessee. Many, many miles from home. Who knows, maybe P is somewhere around here? This couldn’t be a coincidence anymore. The boy has to be real. And Tony left him alone. Truly and utterly alone. Just as he is right now. He sobbed quietly as Jarvis shut down. It wasn’t long before he stood up, hugging himself, making the resolute decision that wherever he was, whatever was going to happen, he was going to live. For P. ...     Harley filled up the hole P had left for the short while they spent together. Tony learned to care for him, but it wasn’t the same. All he could think about was the other brown-haired boy in the back of his mind. His soulmate. His P. After the whole Mandarin situation was dealt with, there was no way he could go looking for the now thirteen-year-old without seeming like a creep. P. That was all he knew about him. His name started with a P. First name? Last name? Nothing narrowed it down. He had to let it rest. He simply had to. But he couldn’t. For the first time in his life he felt like the people he once called idiots. But he couldn’t afford to die. Not with the boy out there waiting for him. And so, he shut the tab on his tablet, linked to the Death Therapy site. Maybe he wasn’t Sherlock Holmes after all. If only he could find his Watson. ...     Sokovia was hell. He got so close to seeing his boy again. So close. But not close enough. He tried to reach for P, but their encounter was cut short. “Mr. Stark! Mr-” P yelled. “I’m P-! Don’t go, please! Please! My name-” “Kid!” “P-t-” It was torturous. Tony wished he could go back to when he didn’t care. When he didn’t think the boy was actually real. But he couldn’t. P is out there. Somewhere. And by God, Tony would find him. Whatever it takes. ...     Spider-boy. Whoever it was, the web-slinger caught Tony’s attention. A young hero, wanting to help out the little guy. He was young, though. And so, Tony felt the need to be a mentor. To guide the young man into becoming the hero everyone would root for. That and whatever the boy was wearing was absolutely unsafe for the job. Tony wanted to give the kid something he could work with to make it all safer for everyone. Plus, he needs someone Steve would go easy on, should Berlin go South. Pepper did most of the research and the phone call went by quickly. Tony didn’t really feel like talking anyways. “Alright, so he lives on 15th street. I’ve texted you the building and the address.” “Thanks, Pep.” Little did she know Tony was already at the front door. “Oh, and his name is-” “Bye, Pep.” He hung up and knocked.     The door was opened by a lovely woman in her late forties. Of course, she immediately recognized him and let him in, offering him a seat on the couch. “My nephew is probably your biggest fan,” she yelps, clapping her hands with excitement. “You are here for him right? He applied to your scholarship a couple weeks ago.” “Yes!” Tony clears his throat. “That’s exactly what I’m here for.” He raises his eyebrows and continues his lie. “He got the scholarship, so I wanted to let him know personally. As I… eh, I do with all other people who got it.” Not every hero shares their identity with the ones they’re close with. It’d be better for Spider-guy if Tony played it safe. ...     Not much later, the door opened again. Tony looked up with a smile, knowing it’d be the friendly neighborhood hero he was going to recruit. His expression faltered when he saw the boy’s face. His boy’s face. P. That’s P. “Ah, perfect timing!” May exclaims cheerfully. “Look who’s here to see you!” Tony blinks and clutches his chest. He’s having a heart attack, isn’t he? He’s dying. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.     Peter seems just as taken aback, seeing the billionaire of his dreams - quite literally - on the couch with his aunt. After a short while of amazed silence, May breaks it. “What’s up with you two all of a sudden? It looks like you’ve seen a ghost!” They can’t help ignoring her. Tony slowly stands up and shuffles closer to the boy who drops his backpack to the floor. “Mr-” “Say your name-” Tony whispers, inching closer and closer until he invades Peter’s personal space. “Please, tell me your name.” Peter looks up at him, wide-eyed, flustered. His lips part, but he swallows before he speaks. “Peter. My name is Peter Parker.” P. Peter. Parker. Peter Parker. Holy- It fits. Everything fits. Sherlock has found his Watson. Everything feels so insanely right in this moment.     Tony slowly raises one hand, placing it on Peter’s fast beating heart. Peter curls both hands around Tony’s and opens their palms, sandwiching Tony’s hand between his. “Need three hands,” Peter mutters. “Four soon.” He moves his hands to Tony’s chest, feeling the scar of where his arc reactor used to be push through the fabric of his dress shirt. “You’re not dying again, are you?” Peter asks quietly, almost scared. “No, kid,” Tony sighs. Content. Finally. “I think this is real.”

#irondad #soulmate!au #peter parker #tony stark #spider-man #ironman #fanfiction #marvel #mcu

[synthmusic91]

thoughts? kjfhlkjdfh asking bc i rb'd the original post from u a bit ago because i agreed w/ original poster but i just saw this rb of it and wanted to know what u thought. ciaran(.)tumblr(.)com /post/652413157345820673/there-is-a-genre-of-posts-thats-obsessed-with-the

well first of all i hope this isn't a bait ask. this reply really doesn't deserve the time and effort i put into refuting it, but there was a point in time when i was emotionally confused by these..."arguments", so whoever u are, anon, i hope this is helpful. i also recommend some distance - literally, "go outside and touch grass", which is a lot more difficult than it sounds, but it needs to be done. anyway, here's my "analysis":

for context, here's what the post in question said:

and the tags:

at a high level, we can see that what ciaran is saying doesn't really respond to what OP was talking about. for this reason, i'm not going to bring in much of what OP said, because it's uncontested in this context, and look at ciaran's reply. i'll try to break this up...

EDIT: i had a long-ass response here, but then i realized it was dumb because the source material is dumb. i cut out most of it, but here are the highlights.

"there is a genre of posts that’s obsessed with the notion that fandom is something much larger, more prevalent, and more able to affect the way media is processed and consumed, than it actually is in reality."

so, as we can all see on tiktok and, indeed, on the electronic lore olympus billboard that takes up a side of a literal skyscraper, fandom is no longer the niche thing that "fandom olds" make it out to be. also, we can't ignore how many (white) fandom players go on and work in the industry (cassandra clare, whoever wrote 50 shades, man idk much of anything so there's probably many more). so this comment is sort of myopic. and since this is what characterizes the rest of the reply, well...it's not great.

also don't look up lore olympus; it's basically a dd/////lg fanfic that happens to be one of the most popular series on the line webtoon app, which is rated for teens...and for $1 to the creator's patreon, you can view not sfw p*dophilic art, so. also obviously i didnt do that; there was a video essay about this. i can't find it though

"ironically but understandably, these posts are made by people who are so terminally fandom-poisoned that they ascribe phenomenal power to it, and think of it as some great evil that must be defeated (by making posts on tumblr, which is obviously a very influential thing to do)"

"fandom-poisoned" is such a nebulous term, especially since it appears to mean "has had some really significant, (in this context) bad experiences with fandom." this is, first of all, a huge assumption to make about a stranger, and second, not the own they think it is. i'm just going to link this post, and hopefully you can see how it relates.

anyway, the "making posts on tumblr is meaningless" is um...interesting, seeing as off the top of my head i can think of two very influential tumblr blogs that talk about really important issues, Gradient Lair and Red Light Politics. I don't know as much about Red Light Politics, but Gradient Lair is frequently cited by academics (not getting into academia nonsense now but... -_-). also, they sound more pissed that the original post did gain traction, but whatever. this paragraph doesn't really make sense, but nothing here does, because i wasn't given much to work with.

"...and then because these people have basically no imagination and unfailingly pick on others for their own faults, they project their own experiences on everyone they perceive as being more ‘in fandom’ than them,"

jesus christ. i'm going not say anything about the tone of this because i put too much effort into this for some rando to call me a cyberbully.

i think what they're thinking about is how there appear to be some "fandom critical" people who try to, holistically, "ruin everyone's good time" by "stirring up drama" about popular fandom artists/writers/whoever else idk. oftentimes these people will also make jokes about fandom whatever, seemingly picking on random people's interests.

however, if you look at the long history of fandom racism, fandom's normalization of p*dophilia, and even general fandom harassment, and then you look at fandom's visceral, unwarranted reaction to criticism regarding these things, you can quickly see that disillusionment towards fandom is entirely reasonable. as for the joking, well...this an oversimplification but not everyone needs to like what you like. it sounds like they just need to get over themself.

and go “You, a 27 year old queer blogger who is into [tv show/anime/movie] an embarrassing amount, are now going to be the face of Capitalism” with no self-reflection or critical thought given to how fucking cringe it is-"

so, i'm regretting putting so much effort into this because this is so fucking long and i have to analyze this nonsense...it feels like i'm back in my feminist thought class. nightmarish. but anyway, this seems to deal with- [CUT FOR LENGTH. nothing important was missed].

EDIT 2: actually here's a summary of what I had. it deserves better than to be a response to this nonsense, but first it detailed how this took 1. the op's post and 2. a comment that we don't even know if op agreed with and misinterpreted that, and threw quite a fit about this- and i hate to say this because this term is misused so often by redditors, but- strawman.

I then went on to discuss how, for example, PoC can uphold systems of white supremacy. while obviously no person of color is going to be the "face" of white supremacy, the discussion still needs to be had, especially within that group. similarly, while fandom constituents may not be the face of capitalism, there needs to be a discussion, within fandom, on how they support and are defined by capitalist (and other) systems.

it was really too good of a point to be making for this trash reply. I could go say more, but I'm still trying to stay on topic, unlike ciaran.

"to act like random people on the internet, end users with no influence over corporate decisions, are the ones personally responsible for the fact that late-stage capitalism has destroyed popular art and culture in an increasingly sordid attempt to make money."

we've been over the "no influence" bit - because in fact fans do have influence, especially since media creators are literally fans, etc etc. i'm tired of people acting like they have no power and using that as an excuse to support and perpetuate harmful, easily avoidable behavior.

also, to act like the nebulous system of late-stage capitalism is the only cause of bad media is ludicrous. first of all, someone has to make these so-called "corporate decisions", and the people making artistic decisions are, again, overwhelmingly members of "fandom." this comment is really trying to keep marvel trash and lore olympus-esque nonsense in the same atomic, indivisible category lest someone catches a whiff of nuance.

"the above post is a great example of this phenomenon because op admits freely that they only think fandom is destroying media because they have been spending more time in fandom and thus have an over-inflated sense of its importance in greater culture. posting your own Ls indeed."

i'm so tired. this person literally has 120 works on ao3 like...who is spending more time in fandom.

and the tags:

#i assure you that fandom has no bearing on my actual real life #and if it does on yours. then that is your problem #it's also a very funny problem to

now this is just egregiously tone deaf. you do not need to do more than a cursory google search to find a bottomless well of examples of fandom harassment, threats, doxxing, and violence, much of which is racially motivated. you can see why it would be bad to make fun of this. 

also the way that “fandom has no bearing on their actual real life“...120 fanfics on ao3. 120.

conclusion:

the reply clearly misinterprets of op's point, and as such, does not refute it. they responded to another issue altogether, which is that of the sanctity of their ~coping mechanism~ or whatever it is. their argument in this respect was, in my opinion, delusional and pathetic, especially given that they wrote it on someone else's unrelated post.

FINAL NOTE: i cut out lots of this because the reply went in so many different directions, so some stuff might not make sense. let me know if you have any questions.

#answered #anonymous #fandom #long post #q slur #s

[seerofmike]

Apex Legends AO3 Masterpost [Cryptane Edition]

I did this back in the BNHA fandom so I thought that now I’ve hit 50 fics it’s time to make a masterpost of them again :] ! This post is all 30 of my Cryptane-centric fics and I’ll make a 2nd post with the other 20.

Going in alphabetical order (except for NSFW fics which are all at the very bottom!! scroll past those if u don’t want to see them :]), i’m including word count/rating/status (complete, incomplete). 

If you happen upon this post while there’s no ao3 links refresh it for a bit I’m posting it without the links first so tumblr doesn’t nerf me 

REBLOGS APPRECIATED <3 <3 <3 Help spread my work around !! :D

alright...begin

Boyfriend Reveal: Octane and Crypto go through a portal and come out in each other’s bodies. (T, 6k words, 2 chapters, incomplete)

Dead Names: Trans!Octane experiencing dysphoria, and Crypto reveals he has a dead name of his own. (G, 2.8k, complete)

Dye Job: [this fic can be read as platonic OR romantic] Octane is going gray in his twenties, Crypto helps him dye his hair. (G, 2.1k, complete)

Envy: Mirage is hitting on Octane (maybe) and Crypto gets Fucking Jealous. (T, 6.7k, complete)

Four Oh Three: Crypto has been ‘killed’ by the Syndicate and is now Octane’s bodyguard. Pre-canon but also an AU, longfic. (M, 155k words, 20 chapters, incomplete)

Just Friends: Crypto and Octane aren’t in a relationship but keep flirting. Every other Legend is Tired, with a capital T. (G, 8.1k, complete)

like and subscribe: Crypto and Octane have done multiple interviews and celebrity YouTube videos (think ‘Celebrity Answers The Internet’s Most Asked Questions’ videos). Their relationship is not as secret as they thought. (T, 4.2k, complete)

Morning Follows Night: Trans!Octane gets pregnant and keeps a baby he secretly doesn’t want. Crypto wants the baby but is terrified he’s going to endanger it. A heads-up that their relationship faces a lot of difficulties. (T, 46k words, 6 chapters, incomplete)

My Face Can’t Lie (I’m Into You): Octane steals Crypto’s jacket. Crypto Wants Revenge. (T, 4.3k, complete.)

Not So Different: Octane has ADHD and is like 99% sure Crypto also has ADHD but Crypto doesn’t wanna hear it. (T, 6k, complete)

Olivia: Crypto has a fucking diary like a loser and badly disguises the fact that he has a crush on Octane by calling him ‘Olivia’. (T, 5.1k, complete)

Person of Interest: Crypto is very mysterious and Octane wants to learn more about him because he’s exciting in that way. Kind of a 5+1 fic but without the +1. (T, 16.9k words, 2 chapters, complete)

Prenuptial: Octane’s father comes to visit established Cryptane. Dun-dun-dun. (T, 3.5k, complete.)

Red Flavor: Octane goes through Crypto’s things and discovers his terrifying, dangerous, horrible secret--he’s a kpop stan. (T, 2.1k, complete)

Rose Bowl: Half chatfic, established long-distance relationship Cryptane finally meet up...at a BTS concert. Actual literal crime ensues. (T, 12k, complete)

Roughhousing: Octane is Pissed(tm), Crypto doesn’t know why. Doesn’t really care once his boyfriend starts biting him. (non-explicit) (M, 4.6k, complete)

Same Damn Hunger: [BIG TRIGGER WARNING FOR PAST CSA, NEVER EXPLICITLY DESCRIBED]. Octane has bad coping mechanisms, one of those being sex. Crypto is just another name added to the list. (non-explicit) (M, 9k, complete)

Sharing: Mirage/Octane/Crypto, Miroctane and Cryptane but not Cryptage. Crypto and Mirage are petty and try to get Octane’s attention on his birthday. (T, 2.8k, complete)

Subtlety: Octane wakes up in Crypto’s lap. (G, 900 words, complete)

Tease: Octane sees Crypto in glasses and he’s pretty sure it’s the second coming of Jesus Christ. Slightly sexy things follow. (non-explicit) (M, 2.5k, complete)

Until The Sun Comes Up: Percy Jackson AU, Octane is the son of Dionysus. Crypto left camp a couple years back and suddenly shows up one day. Octane’s kind of pissed. (T, 29.4k words, 3 chapters, complete)

Weakness: Crypto wonders if he should allow himself to like Octane. (T, 5.6k, complete)

Your Choice: Octane asks Crypto if Crypto will miss his boobs if he gets top surgery. Understandably, Crypto has no fucking idea how to respond. What the fuck Octane. (T, 2k, complete)

NSFW (all rated E)

Certain kinks or NSFW elements will be tagged in case that’s not your thing. EVERYTHING is ALWAYS consensual. fuck noncon

(all of these fics are trans Octane because trans Octane is simply superior and also canon /j.)

Giving In: Vampire!Crypto doesn’t want to drink from his boyfriend because he’s afraid he’s going to like it a little Too much. (4.4k words, complete) [blood drinking]

No Need To Rush: Octane always wants it fast, but one night Crypto takes it slow. (3.9k words, complete) [octane uses a strap-on]

Off-Season: They have sex for the first time. (2.4k, complete) [involves use of a sex toy, no actual penetration aside from a d/ldo]

Rush: Crypto ties Octane up. (2.7k, complete) [bondage, some spanking, light dom/sub undertones? forgive me this was. a gift fic for someone and i dont rly know how to write bdsm stuff FKJEFNKFNK)

Shower Talk: Octane catches Crypto jerking off in the shower. They fuck. (9k, complete). [semi-public sex, not an established relationship but (resolved) sexual tension]

Smile! You’re On Camera: Octane wants to be tied up and filmed because he’s Like That. Crypto begrudgingly agrees. (8.5k words, complete) [involves use of a fuck machine, some bondage and slight dom/sub undertones but not explicit]

Up The Ante: Crypto and Octane make a bet, and end up entering a sort of friends-with-benefits arrangement because of it. Very dubious on the ‘friends’ part. (32k words, 3 chapters, incomplete) [semi-public sex, sexting, octane uses a strap-on again, kind of enemies to lovers but the enemies is mild and one-sided on Crypto’s part)

#cryptane #apex legends #octane #crypto #shut up mike #masterpost

[badatusernames]

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

#naruto #shikacho #narugaa #nejilee #kibahina #they speak #i cant tag everyone fuck #is this formatting fucked up? i can't tell it wouldnt post before #long post

[ds-sparrow-manufacturing-co]

A Rebuttal

Ok so I really did not want to make this post. I would’ve loved to have left this whole thing behind because I’m aware I made some mistakes and would like to atone for them, but it seems I’m going to have to go over this one more time. For anyone seeing this post who somehow doesn’t know, I said some regrettable things about Aidan Gallagher here. I later made another post here summarising the entire situation that resulted, so I would suggest you read that first. 

I’m still getting people telling me what I said was fucked up, which is entirely justified. However, I have just now realised that the person who took it upon themselves to ‘correct’ me about my opinions of Aidan Gallagher (something that has not changed, I still strongly dislike him) later made several derogatory posts about me. I was not aware of this because after the first rude post they made about me, I blocked them to save myself the additional stress. 

I have done my best to deal with this whole thing as calmly and politely as possible. When this person was downright evil towards me, I didn’t bother to argue with them, I just made an admittedly-snarky post with a screenshot of what they said, and then blocked them because I had no desire to begin an argument. When I realised that what I had said about Aidan Gallagher had been fucked up, I apologised, accepted my mistake and did what I could to fix it. But I am out of patience. I don’t take kindly to being treated the way this person has treated me, I don’t think anyone does. So here I am, about to break down everything they said about me bit by bit to show you how much of a lying scumbag they have been towards me (as well as possibly others).

warning: this post is incredibly long

tw: su*c*de mentions

My first interaction with this person was when i got an anon ask who wanted to know what Aidan Gallagher had done to make me dislike him. I responded with a brief list, excluding most of my evidence because it was late at night and I didn’t have the energy to go down the rabbit hole of all this. The following day, the blog this post is about reblogged my post, attempting to disprove everything I said. I will not include screenshots here, because it was a long post, you can find it in my archive if you so wish. I read what they said, took everything into account, and responded with my proof for things I hadn’t previously included the proof for, as well as explanations for why certain things he’s said annoyed/upset me. I expected a polite response, as we had both been courteous so far. 

Instead,  I received the following:

Now, lets break down some of what they said.

‘stop saying things you can’t prove, because it’s fake’ - I provided my proof. I am not trying to lie to anyone, or perpetuate rumours. All I aimed to do was explain my point of view and why I personally dislike him.

‘some of your screenshots are fake’ - That’s just blatantly untrue, especially as they have at other points said things along the lines of ‘well yes but he apologised/he didn’t mean it like that’ for everything I have provided screenshots for. Make up your mind.

‘you’re so gullible’ - For... having an opinion? That I researched before forming? And which is based on something other than my blind faith in a 17 year old? Right.

This was when I blocked them.

I thought that was going to be the end of the situation. Then, I got some asks.

I saw this and, being a minor, was a little creeped out. I had assumed this person was a teenage fangirl because that’s who the majority of Aidan Gallgher’s fans are so this information was surprising.

This one scared me. I did what the anon suggested, created a backup (i won’t tag it here because I get the feeling some of the aforementioned ‘army’ are going to see this) and reported the other blog. Once again, I thought it was over.

It was at this point that people started telling me how fucked up what I said in my original post was, and I realised they were right. As mentioned at the start of this post, I apologised, and did everything I could to fix it. End of, right?

Until today, where I started thinking about what the above anons had said and decided to fact check, mainly out of curiosity. I unblocked the blog, only to discover they had made 3 posts about me that I hadn’t seen.

This was the first one, as you can see they began it with a screenshot of my original post. Let’s talk about this.

“but you wishing him dead is ok?” - I never wished him dead, to start with. Stabbing does not automatically equal death, but I know that’s nitpicky of me. I also did not wish he was stabbed. I said in that exact tag that I didn’t, because of TUA. However, I know that this ‘joke’ was really shitty of me, and I have already apologised multiple times.

“what kind of a low life do you have to be to have nothing better to do, but talk shit about a kid?” - Why don’t you tell me? As I’ve said multiple times, I am a minor. That doesn’t excuse what I said, but that does make it incredibly hypocritical of them to say that given everything.

This was the second post they made about me, beginning with the same screenshot as in the first post.

“they’re spreading false rumors” - I’ve already covered this one.

“they want a reason to be mean, even if it isn’t true” - I would never be mean to someone if they hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I’m a strong believer in the moral philosophy of respecting everyone until they give you a reason not to. Aidan Gallagher has given me more than enough reasons to lose respect for him. And, honestly? I still respect him as an actor, even if only that.

“you can’t say you’re a decent human being and wish someone dead. you can’t say you’re anti-bullying and want to prevent suicide and then bully someone” - That is some big talk from someone who claimed they were ok with what Aidan Gallagher said about mental health because they’ve had their own experiences with suicide, before immediately telling me to rot and burn in hell for disagreeing with them. And, wait a second, wasn’t Aidan Gallagher the one supporting women’s rights and feminism who then turned around and made gross comments towards a bunch of girls? Hmm. Also, wishing someone dead is too wide of a blanket statement to actually measure whether someone is a decent human being with. 

“i tried to be nice” - I didn’t know telling someone to rot in hell, calling them a stupid hoe, was being nice. I didn’t know lying, and telling people to report someone because they disagreed with you was being nice (notice how they never said anything about my stabbing comment until I disagreed with them.) I guess we have very different definitions of nice.

“if they really cared, they would kindly ask a fan if the rumors were true” - And that, ladies gentleman and variations thereupon, is a brilliant example of how not to perform unbiased research! I based my opinion on actual evidence, and neutral articles as well as arguments from both sides. Not on one fan who’s likely to deny everything.

“they said it themselves, they have no proof” - That is so incredibly cherrypicked. What I actually said was “supposedly used the f-slur although i can’t find proof“, one of the many points on my list of reasons I dislike Aidan Gallagher. You know why I said that? Because I found a screenshot of him supposedly having called someone that slur via Instagram but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided it was probably edited. I included the point on my list in the hopes of people doing their own research. And I certainly did not say I had no proof for anything, as you would know if you saw my original response to this blog, where I provided proof.

“threatening him and bullying him is wrong” - I am fully admitting of the fact my stabbing comment was in poor taste but it was very clearly not a threat and not even close to being bullying. Furthermore, I would say making four posts harassing and telling others to harass someone because they disagree with you is a lot closer to being bullying than anything I did was.

“defamation is a crime” - I live in the UK, so let’s use those defamation laws. A statement is not defamation unless it ‘ has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant.’ Less than a hundred people are even aware my blog exists. Nowhere near enough people have seen anything I’ve said to count as defamatory. Not to mention that a statement is not defamatory if it is a statement of opinion.

“you’ll get karma for lying and playing the victim” -  Ohhh the irony. I have not lied once. I have provided all the necessary proof for everything and I have owned up to my mistakes. And yet, they, who have repeatedly lied about me, twisted my words and oddly enough, avoided including proof outside that one screenshot of my original post, are the one accusing me of playing the victim. Classy.

“hi to your little follower that you cry to” - This one’s just hilarious to me. I’m happy to have people on here who will let me know when people are, you know, harassing and bullying me. And, what the hell do they mean by ‘cry to’? Do they mean ‘mentioned that this situation was stressful once’? Wow.

“I promise you misery for the rest of your sad little life” - Honestly just re-read the other screenshots after seeing they said this. Jesus Christ. And, as someone who already struggles with depression and other mental health issues I’m interested to know what they’re intending to do that’s gonna be any worse.

“you’ll pay! that’s not a threat it’s a promise” - Are they planning on tracking me down? Or are they just going to keep sitting on their throne of yes men and echo chambers acting as if they’re actually affecting me? 

I would say this is the last post I plan to make about this situation but I’ve said that over and over again throughout the last 12 days and it’s never the last post. This whole situation has honestly been very emotionally taxing, and combined with some real life things, it’s been a bad week or so. Hopefully this post is enough to end this whole thing. 

#WOW this post got long #the aidan gallagher debacle #long post

[live-laugh-larceny]

So I listened to all of the Side tracks and I thought I’d make a quick summary of each for those who are debating checking them out.

people who say “but these playlists have been out forever” you’re right but I’m fashionably late

They’re listed in order of my personal preference (sorry Virge)

Virgil’s Playlist:

the second-longest at 1h 13 min

pretty much exactly what you’d expect in terms of music- predominantly emo/rock songs

most of the songs seem to be about his past with the Dark Sides and his journey over the course of the series

in my opinion, Virgil’s offers the least new information about his character, as the songs don’t give us much we didn’t already know/wasn’t already implied

my personal favorite songs were Be Calm, Sally’s Song, and Ignorance

my least favorite was Sunrise, Sunset

Even if it was my least-favorite playlist overall, it’s still pretty fun to listen to bc it lowkey slaps

Patton’s Playlist:

the shortest at 1hr 4min

passes the vibe check with acoustic guitar, nostalgia, soft/soothing songs- aura of calm

gives perspective on Patton’s character and outlook on life; there were songs about his tendency to assume the best in people, the love/concern he has for the other Sides, the battles he’s currently fighting with himself/how he’s processing POF, and how he feels about his past mistakes

Like Virgil, there’s not a ton of new information, but Patton’s playlist definitely deepened my understanding and appreciation of him

my favorite song by far was Sad (not really because it was about Virgil- I just really liked the song)

I didn’t have a least-favorite song :D

but if you’re someone who likes stimulating/high-energy music, this is not the playlist for you

Remus’s Playlist

the second-shortest at 1h 5min (you thought the colors would correspond to the Side in question, but they’re actually according to length sorry)

as you would expect, this playlist is... odd. It doesn’t stick as tightly to one genre as V and Pat did. I’m atrociously bad at identifying genres but uhh it has alt pop, rock, and lots of synth/electro-pop stuff idk I’m bad at this

Remus’s playlist basically boils down to the recognition that he’s the only Side who’s truly free, and he revels in it. Also he and Roman definitely have some stuff to work out jeez

It’s also really, really funny. I laughed a lot and I was super entertained listening to it because it’s so bizarre and not-PG and Remus

My favorite songs were In The Room Where You Sleep, Ben Bernanke, Tranz, and Don’t Stop Me Now

my least favorite was probably Queef (I can’t believe I just typed out the word queef jesus christ)

If you’re willing to hear some explicit lyrics, Remus’s playlist is a vibe, if a really weird one

I can’t stop listening to Tranz seriously help me

(I loved Roman, Janus, and Logan’s playlists so much that I can’t choose between them lmao. at this point the ranking becomes arbitrary)

Logan’s Playlist

the third-shortest at 1h 6min

Logan’s playlist has pop, rap, and a surprising number of songs from soundtracks and comedians

Logan’s playlist has a clearly defined arc(!!) It tells a story that will likely be mirrored in the series proper- Logan’s feelings of being ignored come to a tipping point and he lashes out big-time before he finally begins to accept who he is and stop forcing himself to fit the narrow role of “Logic”

I understand Logan’s thought process more now, I think. What really got me, though, was how much vulnerability his song choices seemed to show, especially in the last few songs or so (I’m rhyming :D)

My favorite songs were Algorhythm, The Watchtower, Streaks, One More Time With Feeling, and Time Adventure

my least favorites were Fitter Happier and Human (the latter mostly bc it’s really, reallllly long)

If you’re a Logan stan (or someone who likes him a normal amount), I cannot recommend his playlist enough

Janus’s Playlist

the third-longest at 1hr 12min

the memes are correct. This bitch is jazzy and it’s absolutely fantastic. There’s also a fair number of songs from musicals (Chicago, Hadestown, Cabaret(?), The Jungle Book(?), uh maybe more but I’m not actually much of a theater kid 😳)

come get y’alls Sympathetic Deceit content or whatever the damn tag is called. There’s a lot of good insight into Janus’s motivations and feelings about Virgil (surprise: he misses him), and a few songs about how fun and sexy it is to be evil >:D

like Logan, there’s some hidden vulnerability that comes to the surface and it’s so wonderful. Janus has always seen himself as the protector at odds with the “Light Sides”, and now that he’s been accepted he doesn’t really know how to deal with the change

favorite songs were Black Hole Sun, When The Chips Are Down, As Far As I Can See, and Come Little Children

those songs are all fine and good, but You’re A Cad is fucking amazing I-

no clear least-favorite

Janus wins Most Committed To A Very Specific Vibe. It’s an immaculate vibe, so good for him

Roman’s Playlist

the longest at 1hr 20min (damn Roman ok)

SO! MANY! BOPS! Unsurprisingly, lots of musicals, Disney, and pop

Roman’s playlist gave me so many feelings- he was my “least-favorite” Side but not anymore

yes the playlist is that good (at least to me)

The songs convey how Roman is hopeful, dreamy, excitable, optimistic, and so, so fragile. There are some allusions to Remus that i can’t wait for the series to explore...

I am more attached to my favorites from Roman’s because they SLAP

imo the most rocking songs were Broadway, Here I Come!, Hallelujah, Holding Out for A Hero, Flamboyant, Primadonna, and Cheap Queen (edit: I FORGOT JUMPSTARTED HOW??)

cmon Roman stans ik most of you have listened to this playlist but those who haven’t ITS GOES SO HARD and then gets really quiet and soft at the end 🥺

yeah I think Roman’s is my favorite playlist

That about sums things up! Happy listening! I read through this again before posting it and I just get more and more deranged nice

(Me later today when the team releases Thomas’s or Orange’s playlist: 🤡🤡🤡)

#sanders sides #i fail to shut my ever flapping gobtalker #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #side tracks #roman is so extra #his is so long lmao #i love the side tracks sm #it was a really good idea #cw cursing

[glossiestrawberry]

my opinion on dreamcatcher’s recent comeback!

warning: slight profanity

hello everybody! i’m back after a long break HAHAHAHA

before i start, just wanted to let you all know that i love and adore dreamcatcher with my entire body and soul. they are my ult girl group. i am over the moon that handong is back and i’m really hoping for dreamcatcher’s first win! they’ve been robbed before but lets hope they won’t be robbed again.

like always, this is my opinion, and in no way is it meant to be any hate toward dreamcatcher (or any other kpop artists for that matter) because i know how hard people work to prepare these comebacks and getting negative feedback on it is the last thing they want.

i have already watched ‘odd eye’ and listened to it but i was at a cricket match so like a lot of it was difficult to hear so this is as close to a first-listen opinion as you can get because i wanted to watch the m/v the second it was uploaded lmao

1. Intro (8/10)

I don’t care that this is only the intro, because it’s bomb as fuck. Great opening to the album and it’s honestly gonna end up in my playlist lmao. Kinda sounds like a geometry dash level song around the 58 second mark but I like it.

2. Odd Eye (10/10)

The outfits, the hair, the makeup - everything about this is gorgeous. The aesthetic and vibe of the M/V is something different to what Dreamcatcher has done before but I’m not against it. I can’t explain it, but the chorus does sound familiar. It might just be because of the amount of times I’ve replayed the teasers but eh. 

Dami’s rap was only slightly disappointing for me. I was in love with her BOCA rap so this rap was a tiny bit upsetting, but she’s a queen so she made it work. Handong’s lines were so beautiful and she got so many. It honestly seems like the most lines she’s gotten ever.

The Gahyeon, Dami and Handong bridge is KILLING ME! I’M IN LOVE! It’s usually Siyeon, SuA, Yoohyeon and JiU or a combination of those four so I was super happy to see and hear the other three doing the bridge.

Overall, absolutely banger of a song, M/V aesthetic is really beautiful to me and I’m very happy. Dreamcatcher have yet to disappoint me with their title tracks so I’m hoping for a first win now.

3. Wind Blows (7/10)

I know they’re having a cyberpunk kind of comeback (it was tagged ‘cyberpunk’ in one of the teaser photos) but so far these songs are kinda sounding like they could be put in geometry dash HAHAHA

Either way, this song is pretty good. I liked the intro and the verses but the pre-chorus and chorus weren’t really something I liked all that much. Okay wait a minute. It’s gotten to the ‘Wind Blows, Wind Blows, Blows, Wind Blows’ part and I’m really liking it.

Dami’s rap is a lot better in this song (in my opinion) but I’m not too sure about like the way they’ve edited her voice to sound in this song though. The bridge is slightly reminding me of ‘Fly High’ for some reason, but the instrumental break is really good.

Overall, decent song. Not sure if its playlist worthy yet. The ‘Wind Blows, Wind Blows’ part is kind of making me want to add it to my playlist though so we’ll see.

4. Poison Love (3/10)

By now, if you’ve seen my other album opinions for other artists, you’ll probably know that I’m not a big fan of ballad-type songs or more laidback and chill songs. Poison Love seems to be one of those songs that I’m not liking too much.

It’s a good song, don’t get me wrong, it’s just not my type of song. Dami’s vocals are awesome in this as well as the other girls’ vocals, I’m just not really liking this song.

5. 4 Memory (1/10)

4 Memory is also just not really a song I’m liking all that much. I don’t really have anything else to say about it so yeah.

6. New Days (5/10)

Why does this highkey give me anime opening vibes though? I also don’t have many words to say about this song. Once again, not really my kind of song, but if it were an opening to an anime, I’d definitely bop to it before watching the show.

7. Odd Eye (Inst.)

not gonna rate this because it’s basically just odd eye lmaooo

ok wait

listening to it now

wow so lit

jesus christ this song can be good with or without lyrics

Final Thoughts: (5.7/10)

Although this score isn’t that high, don’t think that this means I’m upset or unhappy with this album. Whenever I listen to an album in its entirety, there is always going to be more than one b-side which I don’t like, so that’s why this score is kind of low.

I always expect myself to not really like the b-sides for majority of the groups I stan, and that absolutely applies to Dreamcatcher. They never fail to impress me, even with b-sides that I don’t like all that much because they are still good songs and while that may not necessarily mean I think they’re playlist or multiple-listen worthy, many other people think they may be. 

Overall: 34/60

Please make sure to stream ‘Odd Eye’ everybody! No matter what fandom, we (Insomnias) would really like for Dreamcatcher to finally get their first win and especially now that Handong is back!

#dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher odd eye #oddeye #odd eye #dystopia: road to utopia #jiu #minji #siyeon #kim minji #kimminji #leesiyeon #lee siyeon #yoohyeon #kim yoohyeon #kimyoohyeon #sua #bora #kimbora #kim bora #handong #han dong #dami #lee yoobin #yoobin #yoo bin #kim yoo bin #lee gahyeon #gahyeon #leegahyeon #dreamcatcher comeback

[weiss-xaio-long]

Now I’m not a BB shipper, but I know a ridiculous argument when I see one.

I hate ship wars I do & what I hate most is that nothing will never be enough to satisfy the other side.

I understand when somebody gives constructive criticism to a ship to help better improve it & make it believable. I understand there is a lot BB & BS need to work on, mostly BB now since they’re semi-canon. But there are times when at this point you’re not giving criticism & you’re not being an anti-shipper, but straight up just constantly talking shit just to talk shit.

I’m talking about RWBY YouTuber, Adel Aka.

You see Eruption Fang said he doesn’t like BB because he doesn’t like how they had to ruin a few character & dynamics to make it canon. Fair & valid.

Vexed Viewer just wants all of us to shut the fuck up. Extremely fair & extremely valid bc I too want us to shut the fuck up.

But Adel Aka? He’s not even part of the BBvsBS Ship War & Jesus H Christ he will not shut the fuck up. This is what I’m talking about. He is just constantly talking shit like he has diarrhea in his mouth to the point where none of his arguments make any type of sense.

“BB is shallow because Yang didn’t stand up for Blake” he says knowing damn well if Yang did stand up for Blake in V7 CH1 you would yell force.

“MC makes more sense than BB” More than BB, but not BS? Yes they would be better representation bc of how similar Weiss & Blake are, for both the Faunus & LGBT+, but is that it? You have your why is would be better, but not how. (FYIM, he doesn’t like MC either)

“BB shippers are getting baited.”

“BB shippers are salty”

“It’s forced.”

“There’s a lot of fluff for BB & here’s the problem.”

“It’s shippers need tumblr.”

“I mean they’re both horrible people so that’s why I like BB”

*Makes a video making fun of BB shippers evidence/arguments*

“Yang’s bike suffered so BB could be canon”

“Ilia left to make room for BB bc her representation was boring”

“Made the show worse.”

Y’all get the idea & he has in fact said this stuff in several of his videos & at this point it’s just obvious you don’t like the ship, that’s fine. You’re allowed to have your opinions on it, that’s also fine. Everybody understands that you don’t like it, why are you wasting your breathe making several videos explaining why you don’t like, shitting on it & the shippers, etc.? Dude you sound like a whiny bitch baby crying over spilled milk. BB is semi-canon get over it. You bitching about it isn’t gonna change the creators mind.

If you BB shippers want me to remove this from the BB tag just let me know & I will

Edit: It’s been removed

#rwby #rwby ships #rwby discourse #yang xiao long #blake belladonna

[sweetestrequiems]

kit’s release radar + reflecting on things

alright so let me give y’all a normal post now aka the release radar for this account just without dates.

they’re all under the cut cause it’s a LOT.

aka, look under the picture of the broadway queens. thank you.

-foreboding (targets part 2) will come your way soon. jo and i need to finish writing and editing. 

-chapter 2 of out of a book is in the works. it will be a parr-centric chapter. -out of a book will go between boleyn-centric/parr-centric until i start working on chapter 6. chapter 6 and onward should be an even split or just about. -the title of the chapter is Scones and Coffee, by the way.

-aragon angst is finally being written. i was going to have the nightmare aragon has be set in historical times, but i can’t see myself doing it because i am not confident enough with history. so, i will set it in modern day instead.

-the boleyn fluff i promised jo is being plotted out as we speak. im gonna turn it into beheaded cousins fluff because i felt bad for asking for kitty angst lmao

-i might do some queen x reader one shots. they’re gonna be super cute, too. i think my favorite idea i had for one was jane seymour’s. cause stargazing and picnics. yeah. -if you guys actually want some queen x reader stuff i’ll write it for y’all.

-my apex legends fic titled spark of hope will have a release date pending in the next two months. with apex legends’ lore of it being a bloodsport, i have to properly think of the trigger warnings, tags, and so on. i also have to replay through titanfall 2 for the twentieth time, and play more apex legends to actually memorize the layouts of the maps (world’s edge/kings canyon). -i will probably release spark of hope as an Ao3 exclusive. i have the good understanding that i might have followers who are very sensitive to certain triggers involved in this, so i don’t want to put anyone in harm’s way.

-with new day, same queen getting ready to finish up in the next two weeks, it gives me more time to openly take requests and stuff. so if you have a prompt you’d like for me to do, once part 6 is finally up, come into my ask box and drop it in there. -cleves is part 4, she comes out friday. -seymour will be entering the world of the living next friday, april 17th. -howard will be the last queen to wake up on friday, april 24th. -pretty much a complete series which wow good job kit you did it lmao

-jo and i (mostly jo) are planning for a total of FOUR parts for targets. the last part is just us indulging in the softness of parrlyn but that’s besides the point. but, because the events of parts 2 and 3 are so emotionally charged, we decided to make it parrlyn because boleyn seems to be the only one that has been able to calm down a very angry parr. and it gives us two an opportunity to write out the complexity of parr’s emotions.

-so do y’all remember the ask that boleyn got from kitty about a prank? -rest assured i am actually writing that because jo and i accidentally plotted that out. -honestly it is the most hilarious thing we have thought of. -can you just imagine aragon dumping a whole ass bucket of water on boleyn and screaming “THE POWER OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST COMPELS YOU!” -part of me wonders how i think of this shit and i’m sober 99.9% of the time.

-sending in asks for the queens is ALWAYS welcome btw. i love responding as the queens and it gives me motivation to write for the queens that answer so... go for it.

-i am most definitely doing Six x [insert show here] stuff. will it probably be parrlyn singing something cute? yeah. -do i care? not really because it gives me an excuse to be a nerd. -i mean... writing fanfiction makes me a nerd but besides the point!!!

-speaking of, Six x Soho Cinders is apparently the actual brightest idea i’ve had on this account because almost if not 70 notes on it???? -like thank you??? so much???? -i honestly thought y’all were gonna be like “oh no here she goes again” but y’alL REALLY ACTUALLY MADE MY HEART HAPPY

i honestly cannot stress enough that i am grateful for all of you that follow me. for the ones that like my stuff. the ones that reblog. the ones who reply. ALL OF YOU. we are in hard times. the world is fucking terrifying. i mean, i’m an adult for fuck’s sake but i’m scared too. i write for you guys. let me explain what i mean:

i have spent a solid fifteen of the twenty years i have been alive on a stage of sorts. under a spotlight, or in an ensemble. i’m a semi-professional musician. i am a novice/amateur actress. i have played in a symphony orchestra.

during hard times is when people turn to the arts. whether they love seeing dancers fly across the stage, actors tell stories, visual artists create landscapes and portraits of scenes unknown... they’re all turning to these people for something i like to call a gift.

my former saxophone instructor is a well known man. he plays in a world renowned saxophone quartet. this man took a chance on me, and taught me the greatest thing i could ever learn as an artist of sorts. 

the arts, performance or visual, are a gift. you are taking your raw emotions, your feelings... you’re making yourself vulnerable for the world to see. you are giving these people a light in their darkest times. you are helping them escape their cold realities for just minutes at a time. you are giving them a piece of you that you would only think to give to your significant other. you are taking something from your heart, filled with your emotions, and allowing someone else to be a part of that. and that is the greatest gift of all.

truth be told, that’s what i consider all of this writing. an art. it is as valid as dance and as music. as valid as painting. as valid as ceramics. as valid as any breathing and living art form out there.

so, for me to see that you all do enjoy this? it lets me know that this gift is well received. it’s... loved. it's in the right hands. 

so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. thank you so much for not only allowing me the chance to do this, but for letting me into your lives.

i will see all of you later with the tumblr release of out of a book, and a video. 

much love to all of you, kit

#Kano Announcements #Thoughts with Kit

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Rec Tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) & link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love & link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by my partner in crime @extasiswings who is awful because she knows I’m terrible at praising myself but I will try my best.

Edit: I just went back through my notifications and saw that @koortega tagged me as well, bless you darling. Your gifsets and fanvids have inspired my fics deeply so. You’re the best.

Holy shit I wrote a lot in 2019. And I’m actually proud of pretty much everything - I took on a lot of challenging writing endeavors over the past year, and I think I managed to actually pull them all off. While I kind of beat myself up a little for focusing so much on fanfic and not my original novels, I think I needed this year of fanfic to really finish mastering my craft, come into my own, and prove to myself that yes, I can write this, whatever “this” might be. Not to mention that 2019 was a shitty fucking year otherwise, and I needed a goddamn distraction. So, without further ado, in no particular order...

1. the thing with shadows is (they come from light, from somewhere) (Timeless)

Jesus H. Christ this was a fic and a half. And its sequel was even longer. This fic is literally known as “the Garcy BDSM fic” and frankly that’s accurate. It started out as a joke between myself and a couple friends - “hey wouldn’t it be funny if” - and then I fucking played myself and actually wrote this 90k word monster. I’m really proud of it because it’s hard to take a fic that’s set in a BDSM club where there’s sex every chapter and actually keep the sex fresh and interesting each time, and it’s hard to weave a solid plot and character arcs into a fic that’s so focused on smut. It’s one of my most popular fics and I think it’s earned that popularity. I actually got a lot of asks and messages because of this fic from people asking me for advice and information on BDSM, kink, and sexuality/sexual orientation, so I like to think it had a positive impact that way as well, educating people on what BDSM and kink is and how it actually works. So yeah, I’m proud of this one.

2. whispers like poetry (Timeless)

Okay so technically this one was started on Christmas Day of 2018 but it was written all throughout 2019 so it counts. What began as a back and forth with @extasiswings over what would’ve happened if Lucy and Flynn had started fucking in season one turned into a complete monster of a fic where nobody was talking about their goddamn feelings for 90k words. As frustrated as we got with our beloved characters, it was an amazing and joyful experience to work with her. She’s a brilliant writer and understands the characters better than I think just about anyone (including the show writers, sorry not sorry) and I loved every minute of writing this. And I think the final product turned out pretty damn good.

3. Richie Tozier: Small Town Trash (IT 2019)

This one baaarely squeaks by since it was published December 30th but hey, that’s still 2019! I worked on it off and on throughout the month and was really fucking pleased with the result. I’m autistic and so I grew up with a sense of humor that, shall we say, did not vibe with the humor of others. I didn’t usually get jokes. I couldn’t tell when someone was kidding or was serious. I wasn’t considered funny - in fact I’ve lost track of how many times I would make a joke and the whole room would fall into awkward silence as a result. So to write something not only funny, but stand up? Jesus Christ, what was I thinking? But it worked. It really, really worked. People loved it. I actually managed to be funny. Go me.

4. The Void is Open (Timeless)

I thought this fic was gonna be like. 50k max. Ha. Ha ha. Hoo boy. I really need to stop underestimating how long it takes the flaming dumpster trio to get their emotional shit sorted. This fic was based on the very painful idea, “what if Flynn had actually shot John Rittenhouse in episode ten?” Exploring the consequences of that both emotionally for Flynn and literally for Lucy, who is erased from existence as a result, was a lot of fun. Painful, but like. I enjoyed it. I joked that this fic started a new fanfiction genre called “domestic angst” and I stand by that term. This is domestic angst. And I think I did a really good job with exploring the fallout from this one, single action.

5. Love You Like a Killer (I Want to Make Your Heart Stop) (Timeless)

Holy shit. This fic didn’t get wrapped up until the end of January in 2020 but I started it in September of 2019 - and it turned into a monster. It’s my longest fic ever, at over 200k words, surpassing even my smut collection. I really underestimated the myriad of plot threads I had going on with this one. I also underestimated how dark it was going to get. I mean, it’s a Castle AU, how bad could it be, right? ...right? Ha ha. *ahem* While the main pairing for this is Garcyatt, this fanfic was seriously an ensemble work in every sense of the word. Everyone got character arcs and side plots, and I had a lot of work balancing the murder mystery cases I was taking from Castle with the emotional arcs of the Timeless characters. I didn’t plan on this fanfic being my final Timeless work, but I think it’s fitting, because while it’s not necessarily my best work (I think Confidence Trick really earns that title) or people’s favorite work (see: Garcy BDSM fic), it’s the largest most complex single fic I’ve ever done.

Honorable mentions include If They’re Out of Lifejackets, Grab a Friend which was a fanfic of @qqueenofhades brilliant, absolutely showstopping (or should I say show-continuing) @timeless-season-four project, and Love is Bright but Casts a Shadow (Its Name is Grief) which had to wear a lot of hats since it’s a) the prequel to my magnum opus, but b) has to be read last and c) fit not only the canon seasons one and two but also d) @koortega’s fantastic video that inspired it.

Tagging @captainofthefallen @phoenixwrites @thestraggletag @nothingeverlost and anyone else who would like to! Seriously if you want to do this, claim me as your tagger! You’re all fantastic creators, praise yourselves!

#mads writes stuff #tagging thing #the moment I go to tag people I forget everyone I've ever known #so please do use this as a tag if you want it

[paint-pilot]

shit it’s been a second, guess it’s time to update again

edit: holy christ this is long, i’m gonna readmore it. tl:dr tyler has many badweird feelings but is getting through it. fun body changes, including hair growth and an unexpectedly nice voice. surgery and legal matters are Annoying. tw for menstruation

it is truly bizarre to think that i’ll have been five months on t in a little under two weeks. another month after that and it’s half a year. it’s uhh...weird. quarantine has just made this all feel weird. it’s like i fast-forwarded through this whole journey i was supposed to go on i guess? like i got randomly torn out of my life one day in march with no warning and then just as suddenly got spat out in august with a new life - new name, new face, new major, new identity - and no transitional period whatsoever. my classmates, my professors, my students, they all have only known me as tyler. and only ever will know me as tyler. and that’s great! it’s great, and i’m truly just blown away by how markedly easy it’s been and how weirdly good my timing was in transitioning. but it almost feels like i’m still a ways behind everyone else, i guess. i’ve spent so much of my life hiding, and lying through my teeth, and covering my ass every second of every day to protect myself, and i don’t have to do that anymore but the instinct is 100% still there and that honestly doesn’t feel good. of course i’m not making any of it up - i’m happier now than i’ve ever been, and i know i’m making the right choice - but it still persistently keeps feeling that way.

it’s just difficult, i think, to balance wanting to be read as male (and, to a large extent, wanting to keep my transness hidden both for safety reasons and so people don’t start treating me differently) and finding it difficult to hide this truly massive life change that, like, four people are really seeing anything of. and y’all, i guess, lol. it’s one thing to talk about all this in therapy, but it’s another entirely to just be able to share it with strangers and not worry about it being weird.

i was writing this with the intent of it being a mostly happy update but i guess there is some negativity boiling up so. gotta be honest, i guess? there’s a lot of fun trauma stuff i’ve been going through lately that i won’t get into but it’s culminated with this bullshit in this really fun way where my mom gets upset because i get kind of uncomfortable when she shows me childhood photos or tells stories about me as a little kid and then i just break down for reasons i really can’t discern. i’m going to try and articulate this, and who knows how messy it’s going to get, so i apologize if it gets kind of incoherent from here on out. as far as i can tell the root thing that she really gets upset about is that i’ve “thrown away” my whole previous identity. like, not a direct quote, but “you can’t just pretend [deadname] never existed. because she did, for a long time.” and...sure, i guess. i know this has been hard on my mom. i know she was raised in a conservative family, and while she has worked hard to adopt an accepting and open mindset she still doesn’t 100% grasp all of it and will make mistakes. i’ve made my peace with that. and yet. it’s not so much, really, that i was this other person and then became tyler, y’know? tyler did not appear suddenly two years ago where she once stood. tyler put on a mask, even before he knew he was tyler, because tyler was scared and ashamed but people seemed to like her and, for a time, she was an easy person to be. and i hated her. that is so fucking scary for me to say, and i’m not sure i’ve admitted that until literally right this second, but i did. not because she was a bad person. because she had a voice and a face and a body that i hated. because people saw her and assumed they knew me. because even she had many faces, because there was no real base or identity to her, just traits designed to paint a pretty picture and make people like her. because i knew, when i finally threw her away, people would miss her. compare me to her. expect me to be like her.

so i don’t know. i don’t have a satisfying way to wrap this up, because i honestly don’t know how to face this because i know it is absolutely not just the trans thing that created this situation. i’m kinda warring with myself, because i do kinda want to go back through this blog and delete photos of myself with long hair and whatever (because jesus, i’ve had this thing since i was like 14) but i genuinely don’t know if that’s healthy. i know i’m going back on my bullshit, fretting this way and that over whether something is “healthy” as though that’s an objective term without considering what’s going to make me happy, but honestly? i don’t know anymore. i keep sensing the mental block - the swathes of my childhood that i cannot recall, just vague, constant unease - and i don’t really know if i want to dig into all of that and learn what lies underneath because i’m sort of afraid of it. like i said, i’m happy now, happier than i’ve ever been, and i’d sort of like to just leave it like that. but i guess the length and tone of this post might argue otherwise.

anyways. anyways. enough mental health therapy, more actual hormone therapy updates since that’s what this goddamn thing is supposed to be i think? i’m finally starting to grow some noticeable hairs - my chin hair is coming back after my mom made me shave it before i left for school lol, as are a handful of mustache/lower lip/sideburn hairs. i keep feeling phantom bugs on my legs/feet and i’ve only just now recognized that that’s just leg hairs brushing against places i’m not used to. my appetite has picked up like absolute hell again, too, so i don’t know if i’m just having a metabolic spurt or what. also, i’ve started bruising more? idk what the hell that’s about - i fucking never bruise unless i’ve been hit Hard, and i kind of assumed testosterone would make you less likely to bruise, but then that’s probably just not related to the hormones at all. i was gonna put this in the tags but seeing as this post is already so long i might as well put a readmore and just put this here lol: my period is late, like, four days late, which is exceedingly unusual for me and might mean i’m finally done. or almost done. fingers crossed.

my voice has started to settle, it seems like. i popped out an e2 yesterday, which is Sick, but i’m not as focused on that anymore as i am on the actual quality of my tone. which is...good? i’m not just a baritone, i’m kind of a good one, at least it seems like. i’m really working right now on just getting familiar with my instrument - i’m second-guessing my pitch sensitivity a lot, but i think i really just need to drill and practice until everything starts feeling like second nature again. but since the musical didn’t happen for me, my coach wants to enter me in a classical solo competition next spring. so...no more retirement from competitive singing. i’m back! and thank god, because i’m starting to go crazy without being in musical work lol.

jesus fuck, i have a lot to say. i should probably split this into two posts but i don’t care. i am frustrated; i tried to get an appointment with a pro bono legal program for a name change, but it happened today and i wasn’t invited so apparently i’m on my own. and i’m frustrated. i’m trying to look at internships and shit for next summer, but i kind of can’t apply right now because my legal name and sex don’t line up with my presentation, and i don’t really know how easy it is to get away with that in this day and age and especially in my field. genuinely, if anyone has any advice, i’d appreciate it. i don’t know how long this will take, i don’t know what the requirements are, i don’t know if i’m better off just applying now and hoping they don’t eliminate me before ever getting me an interview. and, of course, i’m working on getting consultations for top surgery, but i keep catching myself procrastinating that. which seems weird, but listen. i’ve said it before but i have to emphasize, i am capital-t Terrified of getting this surgery. i know i need to, i know it will make things better for me, i know now is the time, i know i hate binding and can’t really get away with not doing so, but jesus fuck i am so frightened of anesthesia it’s not even funny. but i guess i’m mostly just calling myself out here and telling myself to quit being a big baby, schedule the thing, and give myself a few months to prepare.

anyway. that’s all i have to say. i’d apologize for ranting, but honestly...i dunno. i know at the start of all this a handful of you requested these updates, and i have to imagine it’s because at least some of you are transitioning, are thinking of doing so, or know someone who is or will be soon. and i just hope someone out there can at least relate, because there honestly just aren’t a lot of comparable life changes out there. or maybe this is just therapeutic for me, that’s fine too.

i have two midterms next week i should be studying for. i should do that.

#t.txt #not horses #the puberty diaries #menstruation mention

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter fifteen: and about forgiveness, we’re both supposed to have exchanged

A/N: hey guys :) here’s the next chapter. some crazy stuff happens in this, so let me know what you think. i’ll be coming out with another request at some point soon, so be on the lookout for that.

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose , @far-to-many-bands , @absolute-randomness-forever

trigger warning: cursing

word count: 2200

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After talking to Casey for over an hour about Colby and Brennen, I finally went to my room. Removing my dress from the other night and changing into pjs, I scrolled through my phone again out of boredom. I was gaining a lot of followers and subscribers, my dms were filled to the max, and people were tagging me in everything.

This is all a bit overwhelming.

I clicked on my username on insta and went down to my secret account: my Sam and Colby fan account. No one knew of golbrockloves, mostly because I never talked about it. I especially haven't brought it up to Colby.

How do you tell the guy you made out with that you have an instagram dedicated to him and his best friend without looking creepy? Exactly.

I slid down my feed, only to be met with pictures and videos of me. One video was a screen recording of my snapchat from yesterday, me and Colby in the store.

Why does that feel like such a long time ago?

The next couple pictures were from people's stories: screenshots of me and Colby dancing together, me and Colby next to each other in the kitchen, me and Brennen.

I bit my lip anxiously as I clicked on the comments. They weren't exactly bad, but they weren't great.

 snc3lifee who the fck is she?????

samnccolbby her @ is skyebennett

lovely_sncc is she dating colby or brennen?

saramcc OMG COLBY AND HER ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER

solby5vr she better stay away from colby!! HES MINE!!!!

dolansnc why can't colby stand next to a girl without everyone shipping her with him? jesus christ this fandom

 It was strange to see fans talk about me, as if they didn't know I would see what they were saying. Maybe having this fan account was a good thing: I could see how they all honestly thought about me without anyone knowing.

After reading more and more comments, I could tell most believed me and Colby were together. Or maybe me and Brennen. No one was certain. All they knew was that I was close to both. A lot of fans kept saying that I wasn't dating either one of them and that I was just friends.

While still lurking around on insta, I got a bunch of notifications from my personal account. I switched over to it to see I was tagged in multiple snippets of videos. Clicking on the it, I saw the face of Travis Marcus. He had uploaded a new video to his channel, titled "my truth".

Oh God...

I went to youtube and saw his video was slowly starting to trend. I clicked play and sat down on my bed.

Travis sighed, glancing up at the camera. "Hey guys, it's your boy Travis. Um, I have a lot to get off my chest right now. I'm sorry my energy isn't as high as it usually is. But, I needed to set the record straight. There is a lot of shitty things going around about me lately and I wanted to clear the air and tell you the truth."

"Skye, did you see-" Casey stated, dashing into my room. She stopped when she saw my phone in my hand. We both stood there watching Travis.

"So, as you guys know, I was recently accused of doing something terrible... of bullying another youtuber. I won't say her name because she doesn't deserve any more hate... or clout." His lips twitched, trying to cover up a smirk.

"As if he didn't tag you in the fucking video. Fucking asshat." Casey mumbled.

"One of her friends, Brennen Taylor, an old viner, tweeted that I made fun of her at a party recently. I just wanted to say that this is completely false. What actually happened was that I introduced myself to her. She claimed she was a huge fan and that she wanted to… get with me." Travis nodded his head uncomfortably.

What the fuck.

He continued. “I declined because she was extremely intoxicated. She then proceeded to get upset with me, made a huge scene, got kicked out of the party, and then I can only assume went to Brennen. He was also really drunk, which is why he tweeted in the first place.”

Casey gasped. “Are you kidding me? I'm gonna kill h-”

I hushed her, my eyes never leaving the screen.

“I have footage from that night, because I vlogged it. However, the audio got fucked up so I'm sorry for how muffled it is.” He admitted.

The screen changed to the night of the party. I saw myself standing in front of Travis, talking to him. The audio was complete garbage, low and muffled. I glanced over at the camera, only a moment later Travis nodded at it, smirking. Something I didn't see at the time. My face contorts for a second, he shrugs, and I shake my head, leaving immediately afterwards.

“Now, does that look like I was making fun of her? No. I would never do that. She was upset because I respectfully told her I didn't want to get with her after all her advances. She literally tried later that night to dance up on me, but I just wasn't into her. After I filmed this, she got kicked out for trying to hook up with another youtuber. I think she's desperate for views and just wants more followers.” He declared.

“So, don't give her that attention. And, don't send her hate guys. I wish her and Brennen the best honestly. Sorry this video is so short, I needed to get this off my chest. I hope you all can understand. Peace.” He threw up a peace sign, and then pushed his hand into the lens of the camera, the video fading to black.

Stunned silence fell over the room. Neither one of us could speak.

“Is this real life? I kinda feel like I've had this nightmare before.” I whispered.

“He can't be serious. Does he really think he can get away with this?” Casey shook with rage.

“Why wouldn't he be able to? He has almost a million followers. I just passed 2,000, if I haven't already lost all of them.” My voice faltered.

“I'm gonna call Brennen and see if he can help.” Casey left quickly, pulling out her phone.

I laid my back against my bed, closing my eyes. I took a couple deep breaths, trying to slow down my heart-rate.

That's it.

I sat up quickly. I went over to my desk and pulled out my camera. Setting it up on my tripod, I got comfortable in my chair.

I sighed deeply, then turned my camera on

"Hi everyone. I didn't think this amount of drama would happen to me so soon in my youtube career, yet here we are." I joked.

"I'm sorry if this video is a little all over the place. I'm not editing it. I'm just gonna post it as is.” I clapped my hands together, trying to stop their shaking.

I cleared my throat. “If you don't know, I'm the girl Travis Marcus made fun of. Or he claims he didn't make fun of. I need you all to know that he is lying. I'm not sure why when he could easily just admit he fucked up and apologize. Instead, he did this.”

“I want to tell you guys what actually happened that night…” I stated, looking directly at the camera.

I began to explain that party in detail: how Travis came up to me, how he flirted with me, only for him to make fun of my appearance and film it. I then went on to explain how I left the party because of him ruining my night, only to be told a couple hours later that he got kicked out of the party because he started a fight with Sam, Colby, and Brennen by throwing his drink on Kat.

"I have four witnesses, plus my best friend. And Big Nik's security team could easily corroborate my story. On top of all that, I have this."

I grabbed my phone, pulled open my dms on twitter, and found Travis' message to me. I showed the message to the camera, letting it focus on his words.

Travis: please tell Brennen to take down the tweets. Things are getting out of hand. I apologize for what I said.

"Why would you apologize for something that you didn't do? All of this could have been avoided if you wouldn't have made fun of me. I get you're 'famous' and have the ego the size of a tractor-trailer, but that doesn't mean you get to make fun of random people because they don't fit into what you think is attractive. Be nicer. Be kind. And stop lying to make yourself look good."

I reached over and turned off my camera. I paused, my breath hitching in my throat for a moment.

Holy fuck, did I just film that?

/  /  /  /

I felt cozy surface beneath me tremble slightly. Three times in a row. I opened my eyes, glancing around my dark room.

Was all of that a dream?

I slid my hand over my bed, finding the item that was vibrating. I turned it over, my eyes closing instantly from the bright light. Squinting, I saw messages from all different people. But the most recent made me smile softly.

Colby: are you up to talk?

I shuffled my body upwards, leaning over and turning my light on. I gazed over at my sleeping laptop, my camera still plugged in. The memories flooded back to me. I uploaded a response to Travis, and instantly fell asleep from anxiety induced exhaustion. I didn't even want to see if anyone supported me or not.

Unlocking my phone, I went to Colby's message immediately.

Skye: just woke up. i'm down to talk.

Moments later, my phone started ringing. I answered it. "Hey Colby."

"Hey. How are you doing?" He asked sweetly.

I chuckled. “I've been better, that's for sure.”

“How long have you been asleep? Everyone's been trying to contact you.” He stated.

I shrugged. “Right after I uploaded the video, I fell asleep. I was just too stressed.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” He apologized.

I held back a smile. “It's okay. I'm alright.”

“So, I guess you don't know what happened.” Colby replied.

“No, what did?” I questioned.

“Travis deleted his video.” He deadpanned.

I sat up quickly. “Wait what?”

“Well, after you posted yours, Brennen and I talked to Big Nik and we found out from him that his friend John was recording a snapchat during the fight that occurred with all of us in it. It shows Travis getting pulled out of the party yelling essentially what he said to you at everyone.” He informed me, continuing. “He cussed and screamed while he got kicked out, and John sent the video to Messy Monday, and they uploaded it to twitter. It's been trending for the past couple hours.”

“Holy shit. So, the snapchat proved me right?” I muttered.

“Yep. Travis took down his video. He's been radio silent since.” He laughed.

“He probably left a few choice words for me.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“If he did, let me know. I got some unfinished business with him.” Colby joked, causing me to let out a laugh. “Besides, before he deleted his video, Sam, me, Kat, and Brennen all came out on twitter and said that you were right. On top of that, apparently a thread was created of how rude Travis has been to fans. So... he's kinda done for.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that. He'll be back in less than a month.” I scoffed, pulling my blanket closer to me.

“Well, even if he does come back, everyone will know you were right.” He reassured.

I picked at my blanket. “Tell that to his fans.”

“Enough about Travis. Is there anything I can do to get your mind off of him?” He requested.

I sighed. “Like what?”

“Go out with me.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“What?” I choked.

“Go out with me. Where ever you want to go, I'll take you there.” Colby promised.

“When are you taking me out?”

“How about tomorrow? Say eight P.M?”

A smile rose to my lips. “Okay... that sounds good.”

“Where do you want to go?” He inquired.

“If you don't mind it... I kinda want to stay in for a bit. Hide away from the world. Maybe you could come here? We could order take out and watch some movies. And cuddle?” I bit my lip nervously.

He agreed happily. “That sounds fantastic.”

“Good. I can't wait.” I beamed.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” He mumbled, yawning.

I shook my head. “No. Besides, you sound like you need to go to sleep.”

“I'll stay up if you want me to.” He admitted.

“No. No, I'm okay really. You should get some sleep.” I declared.

“Alright. I'll see you tomorrow.” He responded.

“It's a date.” I smiled.

“Goodnight, Skye.” He whispered.

I giggled quietly. “Goodnight, Colby.”

<< CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 16 >>

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