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pshcomforts · 14 days

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➳ we can’t be friends | psh. — requested

trainee!sunghoon x fem!reader (mentions of wonyoung from ive)

“just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright“

synopsis: you and sunghoon have been best friends for so long, but distance has grown between you two after he got with wonyoung.

warnings/content: written in third pov. miscommunication(?). confrontation. angst. unrequited love (kinda). open ending! reader actively avoids sunghoon, and gets closer to jake (bestie vibes only). sunghoon gets jealous (always). not proofread. cursing!

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.9k

a/n: message request. — this was kind of rushed, sorry :(

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: we can’t be friends by ariana grande

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:05 ──────|───────────── -3:22

night had already fallen upon hybe building and y/n was still in the practice room, staying stuck on a few dance moves that had her frustrated.

“no this is not right..,” she grumbled to herself, sighing in defeat.

“you’re still here?” a voice bellowed from behind with a chuckle afterwards.

the girl quickly turned and was delighted with a smile plastered across her face.

“sunghoon!” she beamed. “what are you still doing here?” her voice squeaked, heart doing somersaults in the sight of her handsome friend.

“i should be asking you that question.” he grinned ear to ear as he watched his best friend continue to try and catch her breath.

“you’re practicing so late, y/n. you know that’s not good,” sunghoon frowned. “trainer kim’s already gone for the night.”

she rolled her eyes at his little scowl. “i know, i know.., i just really wanted to get this dance move down.”

hoon shook his head at her words before handing her an icy, cold water bottle. “well cool down, won’t you? i have good news.”

her heart slightly clenched in response. what could be such good news at midnight?

y/n gave a quiet nod and he shyly smiled to himself.

it couldn’t be, could it?

her body was tensing with every second he let pass by in his utter motive to irk impatience.

“sunghoon!” she fumed, nudging his shoulder back in slight frustration.

the male laughed in return, fangs flashing to make her a blushing mess as he uttered, “sorry, sorry! i just wanted to build it up!”

her eyes playfully rolled as he continued.

“wonyoung and i are finally going out! you remember her, right?”

remember her? yeah.

how wouldn’t she remember such a pretty girl like her?

the way that starship trainee mindlessly talked to sunghoon, swooning him with her simple words that already had him flustered.

heck, wonyoung did what y/n couldn’t — and that was leave the friend zone.

everything else he chattered on about afterward almost deafened in y/n’s ears. she couldn’t feel anything but her heart that shattered into a million pieces. every small shard striking her by the vein in her blood, giving a numbing sensation in her hands.

“y/n?” he called, looking at her for approval. “what do you think?”

what did she think? why would that matter if he was going out with someone else?

“good..!” she mumbled, voice almost coming to a quiet squeak. “that’s good for you, hoon!”

“i was just with her and..,”

he kept going on and on, but she couldn’t bare to hear it.

how could she when she was in love with him? her best friend. her everything. her favorite person who she couldn’t call hers.

they went through thick and thin as trainees of hybe — experiencing everything big and small that’d always be celebrated upon.

and it wasn’t like she hated wonyoung. no, that gorgeous girl was too good for the world. how could she hate her?

but she knew she’d have to keep a distance.

she couldn’t do anything else but accept it anyway. besides, it was just the right thing.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

about a month had flashed by before y/n knew it, and though it wasn’t the easiest, her and sunghoon weren’t as close anymore.

he spent most of his time with his girlfriend, ensuring her the best like a good boyfriend.

but even then, he’d still try to make plans with y/n — hinting at little cafe places to try, asking about convenience store runs, murmuring about plans to sneak out of the dorms for their weekly movie nights — but she always rejected.

she avoided him with every intention she had.

if he tried to talk to her, she’d adjust her attention to someone else.

if he tried to get a duo dance with her, she’d quietly ask the trainer to switch with another person.

sunghoon didn’t know if he did something wrong but he knew the energy was off between them, as if something drifted them apart.

and to make matters worst, she had gotten closer to jake — another hybe trainee in their friend group.

hoon didn’t know why, but he hated seeing them become an iconic duo. the way jake mindlessly stepped into his position as her designated best friend was throwing him off.

he hated it. every time he’d notice their interactions, he’d find himself clenching with a tense jaw and fisted hands.

but why?

the only excuse he could find to all of this stupid resentment he had towards the aussie boy was that him and y/n weren’t the same anymore.

not at all.

and it was confirmed once he heard little mentions of ‘weekly movie nights’ pass through his ears.

sunghoon rolled his eyes with a quiet scoff leaving his throat, hating how sour he turned in a quick second.

“uhm..,” jungwon cleared his throat. “are you.. okay?”

the members, excluding jake, turned to the boy who was undeniably burning holes at the two in front of him.

“sunghoon..?” jay poked, shifting his gaze to the oldest member.

heeseung knew not to mess with hoon when he was pissed, so when he turned his direction where the boy was staring at, he prayed a little for jake.

“you can’t be jealous,” the oldest one murmured with a pat to the latter’s back.

“what?” sunghoon spat back with an annoyed face. “why would i even be jealous? i’m with wonyoung.”

“right, so.. you can’t be staring at them that way.”

“what does it matter anyway? it’s not like she’ll talk to me.”

the other members chose not to comment afterward, letting hoon continue to glare at the two with soft sighs leaving them.

he hated what was in front of him.

how could he be okay with this? how could he even be feeling this?

the burning in his heart. the rage-filled eyes. the tensed-up jaw. the fuming curse words inexplicably forming in his head.

was it really jealousy?

no. can’t be.

‘can it?’ he quietly questioned to himself, looking at the ground before picking his head back up to glance at the two.

the way y/n loudly laughed and slapped jake’s arm like it was nothing. the way she’d make her usual disgusted look as instinct. the way her fingertips would unintentionally drag against his when he’d offer a water bottle.

fuck, he hated this.

was it possible to be jealous over a best friend like this?

‘but maybe i just miss how we used to be,’ he’d attempt to rationalize.

but even then, it boiled every bit of blood he had whenever he’d find his best friend and another close trainee giggling about whatever was talked about.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

everyone was almost done for the night as they gathered into a huge circle with breath pants heard in the room, many still wheezing from practice.

“so,” niki gasped, body almost completely down on the ground. “movie night?”

a spark hit y/n’s heart when the suggestion was put out there, taking a small glance to sunghoon who already had his gaze on her.

his eyes softened once they met and it seemed to cry out for her — almost asking if she even remembered any of the memories they shared when it was a movie night, and it was just them.

and when it’d get late in the night, they’d fall asleep on each others shoulder, heads bunking against each others with quiet snores and aching backs from their positions.

then a blanket would “magically” fall over them, causing the two to cuddle as platonic friends (who were obviously in love with each other).

but she couldn’t think that way.

not when he had a girlfriend.

still though, she couldn’t help but let her eyes stay on his a little longer than intended, eventually letting it linger onto every facial feature on him that she used to adore.

his moles, his fanged smile, his thick brows, his charming eyes — with her effort to avoid him, her heart beat more than it did before after re-loving his features.

but she turned away after feeling like a creep, shifting it to jake instead, who was smiling like a puppy with big eyes.

“yes, a movie!” she heard him beam.

best friend coded indeed.

a smile curled onto her lips as she heard each member chime in on their part to agree.

“i’m in,” sunghoon’s aggressive voice uttered.

the rest of the members turned to y/n with pleading eyes — “what about you?”

she took a gulp. she wanted to reject after finding out that he’d be there but they were all still friends.

“um..,” she croaked, chewing her lips while avoiding eye contact from the boy she was still in love with.

“oh come on! you and sunghoon used to always have secret movie nights with just the two of you!” niki yelled in defense, causing a loud smack to be thrown at him from jay.

it was awkward and quiet given that everybody knew the two used to be inseparable.

a tense chuckle erupted out of y/n while she only scratched her head.

“yeah we did..,” she admitted. “but i don’t know, they’ve become more strict with where we go now.”

“we’ll be finee!” sunoo tried to deflect.

a few more pleadings happened here and there, eventually leading y/n to quietly fume out a — “fine.”

the six members cheered in delight while sunghoon hid his smile. he was finally going to spend some time with his best friend.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

as the members happily walked out of the practice room, hoon was left alone, staying behind to clean up just a little more — unbeknownst to the fact that y/n had accidentally left her jacket in the room.

she walked back with quiet curse words in her head, hating to have to go back and forth.

when she walked in, she unexpectedly found sunghoon staring right at her with fluttered eyes.

“oh..,” she murmured, body tensing in seconds.

“hey…,” the boy replied, shoving his hands into his pockets with a slight sigh of relief. he was finally alone with her and his heart was melting at the fact that it was only them now.

“you forget something?”

his thick brow raised in question, causing y/n’s stomach to flood with butterflies. she gulped and nodded before forcing her feet to move to her jacket — which was close to him.

“yeah..,” she awkwardly laughed. “i forgot my jacket, but i’ll see you there!”

✩ ‘i don’t wanna tip toe, but i don’t wanna hide’ ✩

she attempted to leave but the pull on her wrist struck her back to the same spot as earlier.

y/n felt the grip of his hand softly tighten, careful to not be too rough in how he held her.

“y/n, talk to me.”

his husk voice rang in her ears, sending alarming signals throughout every part in her body as she shivered.

“what do you mean?” the girl tried to deflect, hating the sudden confrontation.

✩ ‘but i don’t wanna feed this monstrous fire’ ✩

“you know..,”

a lump was caught in her throat and she couldn’t get it past her to swallow it down.

“we’re gonna be late, sunghoon, we should go.”

her body faced the door, turning her back on him to finally leave the scene when his voice stopped her — “are you gonna keep avoiding me?”

y/n’s heart dropped. “no..,” she mumbled back with a lip bite. “we’re fine.”

“you haven’t talked to me in weeks, we’re not fine and you know it.”

when she turned to face him, she found the boy to strike her with unforgiving eyes that had tears almost taking its fall.

she hated that she was the reason for his obvious pain, but they were friends, why would it hurt him?

a sigh left her throat as she scoffingly smiled. “you’re with wonyoung now, can’t we just focus on that?” she tried to attempt another lip curl to uplift the mood, but sunghoon wasn’t buying it.

“no, you’re my friend and i want to know why you’re not talking to me the way you used to.” his brows furrowed and a slight eye roll was taken as he thought back to her and jake laughing to themselves.

he watched her carefully for any readable expression but she only kept her gaze down.

“friend?” she softly reiterated. “that’s all i am to you?”

this time, it was sunghoon who froze in his stance. “what?” his eyes blinked repeatedly. “what are you talking about?”

his grip accidentally loosened and y/n felt it, taking the chance to slip out of the hold and say, “nevermind sunghoon, it’s nothing.”

“it’s not nothing if you can’t tell me.” he grumbled, feeling slightly irritated at her lack of communication.

“drop it.”

she walked towards the middle of the room, allowing him to catch up while uttering — “no, tell me.”

“it’s nothing.”

“y/n.”

his lips firmly pushed together as he expressed a disappointed reaction at her.

“let it go, it’s not important.”

“so then just tell me.”

they went back and forth, voices overlapping and echoing over each others.

“sunghoon, enough!” y/n exclaimed, pushing his chest back. “it doesn’t matter anyway so what’s it to you?”

hoon clicked his tongue. “i know you’re purposely avoiding me but i honestly can’t think of what i’ve done, so i’m just gonna ask this once.”

he sighed before continuing, “why are you avoiding me? did i do something to upset you?”

✩ ‘i didn’t think you’d understand me’ ✩

he leaned himself a little closer to her, causing the girl to softly back away with blushing cheeks. she hated how much her heart still lit up at every small thing he did.

“no, i’ve just been busy…,”

sunghoon scoffed, disbelief clear in that puff of air as he continued to gaze at her. “don’t try that with me, y/n. i know you, and i know you don’t like to talk when something bad happens, so what happened?”

“hoon, enough, please.”

she picked her head up to peer back at him with pleading eyes, but he couldn’t stop. he had to know.

“no.” he firmly spoke with a soft sigh. “you can’t get out of this because i need to know.”

y/n picked up on the way his eyes quickly watered. though he tried to hide it and look composed, she still couldn’t help but notice the tears that built up around.

“why?” she exhaled a breath of hers. “why do you need to know so badly hoon?? we’re just friends.”

‘friends’ — she hated how she had to confirm that to herself.

“exactly.” sunghoon spat. “you’re my friend, you’re the one i go to about wonyoung and other things, and now you’re so suddenly close with jake. what even is that? you’re here, but why aren’t you here for me?”

is that all she was to him?

her heart shattered, and all she wanted to do was clench onto the pain. she bit her lip as she responded, “jake has nothing to do with this, he’s only been close with me because of his interest in my friend. even then, you don’t need to know this. you’re in a relationship now, there are limits that i’m not gonna cross because you should be telling wonyoung this, not me.“

she paused, clenching her teeth to bite back the tears that were close to streaming. “i’m not your girlfriend. i’m not.. your girlfriend.” she repeated, letting the second sentence bring her back to reality.

there was a flicker in his eyes once she confirmed it — like his gaze shifted from what was once stern to a softer stare.

but he stayed quiet for a while, unsure of what to say.

tension filled the air, and it was beginning to suffocate y/n with how awkward and tense it was.

“i missed you, did you know that?” sunghoon croaked in the silence, lips faintly curling. “i missed you, and i missed how we were. what did i do that made you not talk to me anymore? because whatever it was, i’m sorry.”

he didn’t get the message, and he still wasn’t understanding.

the boy continued to go on and on, apologizing for whatever he did that could possibly upset her.

“sunghoon-“ but he kept blabbering.

“sunghoon-“ but he couldn’t stop thinking about what he did wrong.

“sunghoon!” she finally bursted, finally catching his attention.

he let his gaze fall on her and she heaved her chest in fear, feeling her legs become limb.

“i..,” her voice trailed off, stopping herself to not say the three words thats been stuck in her head. “i can’t be friends with you.”

her heart shriveled at the words that left her mouth. she didn’t know what’d spew out, but once it echoed in the room, she couldn’t take it back.

“what?” hoon softly murmured, taking small steps closer to her.

his face was close enough that she could feel his breath hit her skin, but not too close where his lips could ghost over hers.

“why?”

y/n’s gaze fell down to his lips and watched how it trembled. he was hurt.

her head was still drooped low until his finger hooked under her chin, bringing it up so they could lock eye contact.

“tell me.” he softly whispered, softened eyes indicating that he wanted to hear the truth.

the girl didn’t do anything, letting silence take over once more before a phone buzzed in the room.

the two snapped out of it, turning their attention towards the device and seeing the contact name of jungwon pop up.

‘are you guys coming? what’s taking you guys so long? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ’

a sigh escaped from y/n’s lips as she finally backed away.

once the jacket and the phone was in her possession, she found sunghoon already close to the door.

he gave the cold shoulder, eyes faintly giving a glare towards her, but she still found a hint of her best friend in there.

he scoffed a little before leaving the practice room to herself.

right, she said they couldn’t be friends.

she sighed as she held herself back longer than intended so she wouldn’t cross with him, soon leaving to jay’s place right after.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

as the night progressed further and y/n finally arrived not too long after sunghoon did, their movie night eventually begun.

the film was decided upon a vote, clearing it to be a horror movie, as always.

a few members situated themselves on the ground while others sat on the couch — including y/n who was comfortably by jake.

sunghoon stayed in the kitchen, gathering his snacks before approaching the group of idiots clustered into one.

“sunghoon hyung, i saved you a spot on the couch!” jungwon beamed, patting the cushioned seat though sitting on the ground.

the older boy grinned with a murmur of ‘thanks.’

but when he looked up at the people on the furniture, his heart slightly dropped. the girl who wasn’t his friend anymore was next to jake (like always).

he softly grumbled quiet curse words. was it jealousy again?

whatever. it wasn’t like he cared anyway. (he did)

✩ ‘you cling onto your papers and pens’ ✩

y/n was now squeezed between jake, who was all giddy about his current crush and sunghoon, who was her used-to-be best friend.

the film finally started and the lights were completely turned out for the full horror effect.

but the girl didn’t like horror movies. as much as she hated it, she couldn’t oppose to it with how much excitement thrilled the boys, so she forced herself.

or tried to force herself.

throughout the movie, she’d try to hide behind her hands, covering her eyes so she could only look at what she wanted to see.

sunghoon couldn’t help but linger his gaze over to her. he knew she didn’t like anything horror. heck, she used to scold him whenever he’d put it on to tease.

✩ ‘wait until you like me again’ ✩

watching her peek through her hands was adorable, and watching her quietly squeal at every small jumpscare was heart-throbbing.

wait. adorable and heart-throbbing?

was he going crazy?

he shook his head, hating that he slowly transitioned to this thinking.

the boy tried to change his attention back to the screen in front of him, but they’d still linger back onto her.

and of course she didn’t notice, her eyes were basically closed with how much she shielded herself away from the movie.

his heart always felt full at the sight of her. how could it not? the way she looked in desperate need to cling onto someone (him), and the way she was almost about to burst with how much horror movies bothered her.

he wanted to hold and comfort her, just anything for her to know that she shouldn’t fear such a thing, but as a friend right?

sunghoon chewed his cheeks in thought. how could he be thinking this when she stated she couldn’t be friends with him?

he sighed and forced himself to stare at the tv screen, hating the conflicting swelling in his chest.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

when the movie ended, most of the members had knocked out.

the ones on the ground overlapped legs and arms with each others while jake took up half of the couch, leaving y/n to curl up into a ball and be slightly close to sunghoon.

the only one awake was hoon, chuckling as he turned off the end credits of the movie.

once he was comfortably situated in the tight space, he scrolled through social media, laughing about whatever until he felt a sudden bump on his shoulder.

sunghoon paused once he confirmed what he thought it was. he took a gulp, and turned towards the direction of the thunk.

the sight in front of him had his heart fluttering. he found y/n soundlessly asleep with her head set on his shoulder, quiet snores leaving her mouth as she unintentionally snuggled closer.

he missed this. all he could think about was how they’d fall asleep after their own movie nights, and she’d rest against his shoulder with their height difference.

he smiled to himself, lips stupidly curling at every memory flooding back. then he’d think about every little thing y/n would laugh about, every small detail about him that she made sure to remember, every single recollection that they shared together.

then he started thinking about her and her personality that was made match in heaven to suit him.

and eventually, it’d lead to her attractive features — her crooked smile, her eye smiles, her constant nose crinkles, her adorable habits that he loved to copy.

god, he looked like an idiot with how much he smiled to himself.

he didn’t even smile like this when he thought about wonyoung, but he loved her, not y/n.

then the trickling fear hit him.

panic spread across his face as he looked back at the sound-asleep girl next to him.

his heart was almost beating out of his chest once he realized it.

she was right. they couldn’t be friends.

✩ ‘i’ll wait for your love’ ✩

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

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seospicybin · 10 months

Text

ON TOUR.

PART III: UNPLUGGED.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix. (s,f,a)

Chapters: I. SOUNDCHECK / II. OPENING ACT. / IV. HIDDEN TRACK.

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix, is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band’s photographer. On the road, you learn how to deal with his bandmate, Hyunjin, who’s not very welcoming of you. (14,6k words)

Author's note: It's getting warm y'all. I hope you're ready for get spicy :)

Click here for ON TOUR playlist.

It's no surprise that you'll take it the wrong way.

He was mad not because you accidentally unplugged his guitar but because of how reckless you were. Something way worse could have happened if he wasn't there to catch you, you could have hit your head or got electrocuted.

But of course, he shouldn't worry about you when Felix will always be there to comfort you.

Is it what made him mad? Truthfully, he has no idea but this gnawing feeling is becoming visceral. It's taking over him.

So when he knows you're hiding from him, he has to know why? What is it about you that always drives him mad?

"Why do you hate me so much?" You ask while he's still searching for the answer himself in your eyes.

"Tell me why? Because I don't get it. Why did I do to you that makes you hate me so much?"

You don't know. You're just as clueless as he is.

"I'm drunk, you see? You can tell me anything and that's okay, I won't remember it when I wake up in the morning."

But he needs to know one thing, one thing that he's been dreaming of day and night.

"Go ahead! Tell me! Promise I'd forget all about it tomorrow."

He needs to know now, so he does.

Hyunjin kisses you with a curious mind and an open heart, he lets a part of him pours into you hoping that you'll finally be able to tell the truth.

He holds you close and tenderly, kisses you hungrily because that's what he's been craving whenever those lips curve into a smile. And oh... you taste sweeter than he imagined and addictive and intoxicating, it's heavenly.

He splayed his hand on the beautiful arch of your back and pulls you close, not wanting any space separating his body from yours.

The moan you let slip out of your mouth, you have no idea what it does to him, how that makes the blood rushes down south.

If he's mad, it's because he couldn't kiss you all day and night. But he believes you would take it the wrong way too.

He's worried for you, he cares about you, he thinks about you, he does all that and you still think he hates you. It's only right that he's mad because you think that's what he has for you: hate.

He's also mad because he wants you but you're a friend of a friend.

Hyunjin learned his lesson the hard way and that wakes him up from his daze of being sucked into the whirlpools in your eyes.

He pulls away from the kiss, from the daze, from how your eyes plead for one more kiss. Looking back at those eyes makes him want to tell you everything but there's a good chance that you'd only misunderstand him again.

"Now, try to forget that!" He says right to your face despite knowing it'll be hard for him to do the same thing, not when the taste of your lips only reminds him the reason why he did what he did: he wishes you were a stranger.

It's not a great morning.

You've been drinking water non-stop to help with the hangover but you can't shake it off yet. It's a good thing that the agency chartered a private plane instead of putting them on commercial flights. You lowly groan as you climb the steps to get into the plane and see that you're the first to get there. You take the farthest seat, all the way back to avoid everyone but ultimately, him, Hyunjin.

A few minutes later, you hear their arrival and you quickly pull the hoodie over your head to hide your face even though it's pointless to do so.

As they're about to take a seat, Vin takes a stand in the front and tells everyone to pay attention to him as he's about to make an announcement.

Of course it's not just an announcement, he's going to scold everyone for going out without his permission.

"Whose idea was it?"

You wince because the idea originated from how they felt bad for you which makes it, technically, your idea. It's hard to admit that you're wrong but you slowly raise your hand to...

"It was me!" Han calmly says.

Everyone stays silent for a moment but Felix raises his hand and says, "But all of us agreed to go," he adds.

That is partly true. Han didn't ask for anyone's approval but yes, everyone just went along with him. Problem aside, it surprised you how Felix lied and it sounded natural, maybe he did change but you didn't know which part of him stays the same.

Vin continues to scold everyone with something along the lines of 'reckless behavior', and 'an important part of your career'. Knowing that those are not aimed toward you and with the hangover weighing your head and the lack of sleep, you start disassociating...

As your mind drifts, it takes you to last night when Hyunjin kissed you against the wall.

"Ugh!" You groan unintentionally loud that everyone is looking at you.

"You have something to say?" Vin asks.

You scratch the back of your head in confusion while trying to think of an answer, "I'm very sorry," you tell him, putting on a sad face as best as you could. Good thing that the hangover supported the look.

After hours of flight, you have to take an hour-long of car ride since the festival is taking place on farmland in the countryside.

It's summer but it's drizzling when you arrived at the hotel or more like a bed and breakfast than a hotel and for the first time, you finally get your own room.

You throw yourself onto the bed and sigh in delight as your head touches the pillow. Man... this is heaven!

The knocking on the door disturbs the peaceful moment. For a second, you feel like pretending not to hear that so whoever is behind that door can leave you alone.

"Are you inside?"

At the sound of his voice, you rush to get up the bed and open the door.

"Yes?" Your vision is a bit blurry from getting up too fast but you see Vin standing there looking serious as usual.

"Follow me, we have a meeting!" He orders, already turning to leave.

He's always like that, making orders without telling you the details. You have zero ideas what the meeting will be about, for all you know, it could be about something else. Imagine how sad it would be if you bring your stuff only for him to tell you that you got fired.

From the doorway of your room, you nervously ask him, "Should I bring my laptop or—"

Vin is about to take the stairs to the second floor when you asked, he looks down at you and says, "Of course!"

The answer is still vague but you quickly grab your laptop and phone, heading upstairs to the small living room where Vin has set his laptop for a Zoom meeting.

It seems that it's not going to be a great day as well, you're not getting fired. At least, not today.

Ssick will be headlining the second day of the festival which is tomorrow night.

Hyunjin is getting ready for the band rehearsal and heads downstairs, stopping for a second to see the door of your room closed shut.

Felix and Lou are already downstairs, having coffee in the kitchen even though they have twenty minutes or so before they have to go to a studio nearby.

"Coffee?" Lou offers.

"Sure," Hyunjin answers because when it comes to caffeine, it will never be enough for him.

He pulls a chair next to Felix and sits on it, "Where's Han?"

"He's working on a track, he'll be down in a few minutes," Lou replies as he carefully brings a cup of coffee for Hyunjin.

Felix and Hyunjin exchange a glance, knowing that a few minutes for Han takes more than that.

As if Han heard their thoughts, he lands on the base of the stairs a few minutes later as promised. He got greeted by Hyunjin and Felix's shocked expressions.

"I thought we have band rehearsal in five?" He comes to the dining table and grabs a biscuit Felix is eating.

"I'll get the car," Lou says, getting out of the house to get the car ready.

Lou pulls the car close to the front of the house and Hyunjin gets in after Felix and Han, looking back for a while waiting for someone else to come out.

Felix gets ahead of Hyunjin, asking Lou about you and Vin not coming.

Lou starts driving while talking, "They're in a meeting. Vin said he will catch up soon."

Hyunjin shouldn't be this disappointed to not be able to see you but Gosh, he can't hide it, he wishes to see you.

When he gets back from rehearsal, he walks past your room and he knows you're in there, somehow he can't bring himself to knock on your door.

At the end of the day, his wish stays a wish.

‐

Vin is right.

After finishing the meeting, you had a quick dinner with Vin in the kitchen with the food sent by the kind owner of the bed & breakfast.

He must have felt bad for making you work right after hours long of flight without stopping that he made you go to bed early so you'll be prepared for the job.

11 hours of sleep is really what you needed that you woke up feeling refreshed and ready for today. You'll not be taking just any photos, a magazine wants to do a special coverage for Ssick and they'll be using your photographs.

Since no one has woken up yet, you take a quick stroll around the small village, and apparently, the other performers also staying in the nearest inn or hotel.

"Morning!" A guy greets you as he joins you on your stroll, dressed in a windbreaker with a hoodie pulled over his head.

It feels awkward to interact with other people, guess you've been cooped up in the tour bus too long.

"Morning!" You greet back, slipping your hands inside your coat as you walk through the cold, misty morning.

"You're not from here are you?"

You shake your head, "No."

"You must be with someone?" He asks while matching his pace with you.

"Not really," you answer and you're aware that sounds so vague, "I'm with a band."

He lowly exclaims, "I'm with a band too," he says.

Grabbing his hoodie from being blown by the wind, he turns his head at you and asks, "What band?"

"Ssick," you answer.

"I'm their photographer," you add before he gets the wrong idea, thinking that you're a groupie or something.

"Cool!" He coyly comments.

Through the fog, you can see the bed and breakfast you're staying in with the garden lamp blinking low.

"I'm here," you tell the stranger.

You've just realized you didn't ask for his name when you tell him that but it's too late to ask now that you're leaving.

He glances at you and smiles, "Okay, see you then!"

"See you!" You say back even though you're not sure you'd see him again.

Vin is having a coffee in the kitchen, he doesn't bother to take a seat as his fingers are furiously typing his phone screen.

"Morning!" You greet him.

He doesn't look up but greets back, "How was your sleep?"

"So tight," you reply, taking a mug from the cabinet to pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"Why are you guys talking about being 'so tight' in the morning?" Lou asks from the stairs with his half-shut eyes.

You and Vin burst into laughs, he finally takes a seat at the dining table. Lou also plops onto the empty seat next to him. Breakfast is quiet and it's all thanks to the owner who cooked it deliciously.

"I'll be leaving in fifteen minutes and you," he points at Lou, "take the kids in the afternoon."

You lean against the kitchen counter and think of going with Vin instead of Lou, you don't want to stay still here when you have a lot of things to prepare.

"Can I go with you instead?" You ask Vin.

"Sure," he shortly replies.

In the 10 minutes he gave you, you pack everything you need into a backpack and do not forget your rain boots just in case it will rain as the weather app on your phone predicted.

It only takes ten minutes of car ride to get there, Vin hands you a pass at the entrance. You didn't know that it's a lot pleasant going with Vin, he's so well known that everyone doesn't ask for his ID and greets him warmly.

He takes you to a trailer which will be the band's green room, they even set a little yard outside the trailer with lounge chairs and a parasol.

"You might need this," he gives you a map of the festival with the setlist of performers on the back.

"The festival is so big so don't wander too far," he warns you.

Vin steps out of the trailer as his phone constantly beeping with notifications.

You follow him out of the door, "are you going?"

"Well... yeah," he answers like it isn't obvious enough, "I have to take care of a few things."

You didn't know why you ask him that when that's what he's been doing, going around and taking care of things. You feel stupid for thinking that he came here early just to laze around.

"You can come with me if you want," he offers.

"Can I?" You must have looked like a puppy when you asked him.

He shrugs and walks to the yard, "I can introduce you to some friends," he says.

They're not just some friends.

Vin takes you around the festival grounds, meeting some officials and going around the tents and trailers of the other performers of the festival.

He knows a lot of people, famous or not, but important nonetheless. You even took a few snaps of it because when else you'll get another chance like this?

Vin is again right about the festival being incredibly big, you wouldn't know your way around if you weren't with him. The festival starts at noon with the festival ground gradually crowded with people.

"Want to check a stage?" Vin asks after successfully snatching two burritos for lunch from a band's waiting room.

"Absolutely!" you excitedly answer.

The security lets Vin in without question, they don't even bat an eyelash at yours since you're coming with him.

It's fascinating to know the inside scoop of his job and get to know him more in the process. The Vin that you know is a little uptight and always serious but from the way you've seen how people greeted him warmly, he's so much more than his job.

Hours passed by because of how far it gets from one place to the other, Vin gets you to visit another stage as a band he knows about to play.

"I was once their manager," Vin whispers at you as he gets to the back of the stage with you following him closely from behind.

The band is warming up when Vin makes an appearance and they're delighted to see him, exchanging hugs and jokes, making you feel left out for a bit until someone recognizes you.

"I know you," he says.

You recognize him as the guy who took a stroll with you this morning, he looks unrecognizable without his raincoat and the mist.

Vin turns around to introduce you, "she's working for the band and..." He then introduces him to you, "This is Jeongin!"

You take a step forward to shake hands with him and he smiles at you so warmly that dimples appeared on his cheeks.

"Would love to talk more but we have to get on the stage," he says.

"Oh sure, please don't make them wait," you almost wince at how stupid you sounded as if they would delay their performance just to talk to you.

You and Vin watching their performance together from the side of the stage. On their second song, Vin excuses himself because the band has arrived from the text message he got from Lou.

"You can stay," he tells you.

"But—"

"It's okay, you can stay," he assures you.

You nod because it's useless to answer him against the loud music playing.

"Have fun!" He adds with a squeeze on your shoulder.

As you turn to watch the band again, you see Jeongin looking at you.

Hyunjin sees the camera bag but not the owner.

He can't get any hints about your whereabouts either as Lou is going out of the trailer as soon as he received a message from Vin.

"Vin will be here so please, don't set anything on fire!" Lou warns them.

When he thought Han only left for the bathroom, he went with Lou to God knows where. It shouldn't upset him but everyone is leaving without telling him, only Felix is staying in the trailer with him.

He senses Hyunjin is getting antsy from the way his knee is bouncing despite he is slouching on the sofa.

"They're at the D stage," Felix informs as he got a reply from Lou telling him where they are.

"Do you want to go?"

Hyunjin tries to act nonchalant about it but can't wait to get out of there as well, "yeah, okay," he coyly says.

He can only hope that the beanie he's wearing is enough to hide his red hair, he kind of regrets it now for dying it with such bright color.

It's easy to tell that a few people recognize him, not when Felix is also with him and making it easier for them to know for certain that it's them.

Luckily, most of them decided to leave them be. Felix calls Lou once again to know their exact location while Hyunjin is craning his neck looking for them around the stage.

The second Hyunjin spots Lou's bleached buzzed hair, he points at the pit after the barricade and shouts, "There they are!"

He lets Felix takes the lead, running to where Han and Lou are watching a band's performance. Hyunjin swallows air because he knows you're also there.

Instead of you, he finds someone else. It's too late to avoid her as she looks his way.

"Hyunjin?" She calls.

Felix also heard her calling for Hyunjin, he turns to Hyunjin and asks, "Who is she?"

It's someone he wishes not to see.

Ssick's stage starts at 9.

Vin insists that everyone must gather at the trailer at 8.15 at the latest and you're 5 minutes late. Running from the gate to the trailer after getting lost in the mud and walking in it isn't easy either.

You can feel beads of sweat on your back but keep running to the trailer, the golf car that you assume will be used to take the band there is parked outside the trailer.

"I'm sorry, I'm late!" You blurt out the moment you get into the trailer.

You're so ready to get scolded but the only person you found inside is Vin, a hand on his waist and the other is pressing his phone close to his ear.

"I told you to take them here by 8," he nags into the phone.

It's safe to assume that it's Lou or any of the band members, whoever that is, hope they're doing okay. You silently take your camera bag from the countertop and sling the strap around your shoulder.

"You," Vin points at you.

"Yes?" You shortly reply with horror in your eyes.

"You can go first," he says.

You stifle a nod and go outside, it's not the time to ask for details so you get on the golf car per his instruction, no questions asked.

Thanking the driver before they head back to pick up the band, you prepare your camera as the staff still working on setting the stage despite the crowd filling the ground.

You take a peek from the side of the stage and instantly get goosebumps, there are so many people, all the way to the back, as far as your eyes can see.

They're so big, so popular, it's a time like this that you feel grateful for your job.

The stage itself is so big that you get tired from taking a walk around the front, you take a few pictures of the crowd behind the barricade and ones with interesting banners or costumes.

A few minutes before the stage starts, rain is pouring and you quickly go to the back of the stage to grab two disposable raincoats, one you wrapped around your camera and you put the other one on you.

Tonight will be one for history. Not trying to pressure yourself, but the pictures you're taking today will be published in a magazine.

The band takes the stage at 9.10 due to the weather check but fortunately, the rain turns into light showers, therefore they're allowed to perform.

Despite the weather and the ground turning into a pit of mud and puddles, the crowd becomes alive once they opened the stage with two songs non-stop until they get to their introduction.

"Hello, we're Ssick!" Han speaks into the mic.

He wipes the sweat on his forehead and brushes the hair curtained his face to the back, "Thank you for choosing to have fun with us in the rain!"

The crowd cheers, ignoring their heads and clothes that are sopping wet from the rain and you can feel their enthusiasm, how they're having fun without care.

You can stay down the pit long because Felix's solo is coming up soon, dragging your feet in the mud. You climb to the stage fast.

Unlike the last time, you coordinated it well with Lou. He'll guide you from behind as you take their pictures on the stage. Lou grabs a fistful of the back of your t-shirt while muttering cautions, "Be careful with the cables!"

You listen to him with your hand rapidly taking pictures from different angles. Your heart is pounding as the music roaring loud that there's no time to get personal when it comes to capturing Hyunjin in pictures, turning everyone's heads to see his nimble fingers on the guitar.

That feels like a second when you spent four minutes on the stage. Lou pulls you back to the side of the stage and you only realized then that a few people are watching the show from here.

Just like you predicted, it's one of the most memorable of all the stages they've done. They're so reluctant to get off the stage even though the night is late and from dark shadows hanging in the sky, it seems likely that the rain will pour again.

The band is celebrating their successful night headlining festival inside the big tent right behind the stage, so many people coming, famous and important.

You see the girl you saw earlier, she is one that you recognized watched the band from the side of the stage.

As you threw the disposable raincoats into the bin, Lou comes to you with a bottle of water.

"Thank you," you mutter, taking it from him and not wasting another second to gulp it.

He hands you a towel next, using it to dry your hair and neck, brushing your damp hair from the mix of sweat and rainwater with your finger to put them into place after.

"So many people," you mutter under your breath.

Lou shrugs as he takes a sip of his beer, "well, they're famous," he simply says.

You steal a sip of his beer and gasp, "Can't relate to that."

From across the tent, you see the girl making her way to Hyunjin and starts talking to him. You don't want to know but you know you can't rest well without knowing who she is.

"Who is she?" You ask without looking at their direction as they're engaged in a conversation.

You take a bottle of beer from the cooler and uncap it, even though you're not a fan, today is an exception.

"You know that Hyunjin was in a band before Ssick, right?"

You nod and take a sip of the finely chilled beer.

"Rumor has it that he decided to quit the band because he and the vocalist fought over a girl," Lou explains with a subtle sly smile.

You scoff in disbelief, "Let me guess... she is the girl?"

Lou repeatedly nods, slyly smiling even when he's sipping his beer.

"So it's not the finale yet?" You playfully ask.

"Kind of," he replies.

So Hyunjin is hung up on a girl or is it the other way around? You don't want to know. You're already having a hard time doing what he asked you to do and that is to forget that stupid kiss.

That doesn't seem like a hard task now that you know he has a girl in his mind.

You take another look at them, talking to each other with eyes that also speak so much. Your eyes drift to Felix who's standing next to Hyunjin, also looking like he doesn't seem to fancy her as much.

You finish your beer and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, "I'm going to the trailer. I need to wash up," you tell Lou.

"Want me to come with you?" Lou offers.

"Nah, I'll be back soon," you tell him.

Using the flashlight on your phone only helps so much with the muddy grassy path back to the trailer. It feels so close when you took the ride with the golf car, now you wish you took Lou's offer.

Taking a moment in the trailer, you struggle to take off your rainboots and wet clothes. You grab a sweater from the merch box and put it on, you're no longer shivering with dry clothes on.

Now that you're comfortable, you don't want to go back to the tent. You'd rather stay in the trailer and starts working on your photos, you're not trying to avoid a person or something. It's just been a tiring day already and...

"Hey, why aren't you partying?"

You search for the source of the voice and find Jeongin shouting from inside the car. He sees you standing in the doorway of the trailer with your camera bag, looking ready to go. You hope he doesn't see the conflicted feelings in your eyes.

"Do you need a lift?"

Without you realizing it, you nod at his offer and his dimpled smile.

Hyunjin's wish to see you is not yet granted.

Well, yes, he saw you taking his pictures but he couldn't see your face or heard your voice. He only got glimpses when he wanted to see the whole picture and stares at it as long as he could.

"She said she'll be back soon," Lou sounded worried as he ranted to Vin about you not coming back to the tent yet.

"I saw her leaving with the Cle boys," Vin calmly answers as if he just didn't let you go with a group of guys you don't know.

"What?" Felix is the first to show his concern at how wrong that sounded, "what do you mean she left with another band?"

And Felix rarely gets mad, not even at the slightest inconvenience.

"They're all good kids," Vin assures them, "also, they knew each other when I introduced them," he adds.

"Knew each other?" Felix once again represents Hyunjin by asking the question.

Vin turns at him and put his phone away, "look, I know their mothers. I'm sure they just hanging out or something," he says.

"Let's just go," Han breaks the intense conversation with exhaustion drawn on his face.

Hyunjin feels uneasy. He can't rest well even when you're in sight but now, no one knows where you are and you're with people that he doesn't know and it stressed him out that he has to hide his concern.

Hyunjin can only ball his hands into fists on his lap, worrying you and worrying about things that could happen.

It surprises him that Hyunjin isn't the only one worrying about you, well, besides Felix. Han is calling your name the moment he enters the bed and breakfast where they're staying.

"She's not here!" Han says as he checks your room and it's empty.

Vin heavily sighs, "she's going to be okay," he insists when he's unsure of his answer as well.

Lou calls you on the phone but you're not answering. He calls you again and still no answers. Everyone starts to panic and Hyunjin can only watch, getting nervous as time passes with no clues of your whereabouts.

"You guys can rest. Lou and I will search for her," Vin resolves as he puts his jacket back on.

Hyunjin stays where he is and the others too, no one is obeying Vin. He draws a sharp breath through his nostrils and is about to scold them again for the third time today when they collectively heard footsteps coming from the stairs.

"You guys are back?" You innocently ask with your hair wrapped in a towel and a toothbrush in hand.

Lou starts to laugh while Felix comes to pick you up at the base of the stairs, "where have you been?" His voice is strained from holding his anger in.

"I had to use the bathroom upstairs. The hot water not coming out from the one downstairs," you answer while going down the stairs. Felix pulls you into his hug as you remain confused about the situation.

Hyunjin's body relaxed as he quietly lets out a sigh of relief and finally have his wish granted.

Han picks up his bag from the floor and heads for the stairs, "I really thought you turn to become a groupie for another band," he jokingly says.

You get even more confused with what he said, "huh?"

Vin rubs his forehead and closes the door, "I told you. She's fine," he mutters as he takes his jacket off again.

You hold hands with Felix, taking him to the kitchen to talk, "what happened?"

Felix puts his hands on the dining table to support him, "Vin saw you left with the other..." he doesn't finish his sentence, "Nevermind. We're glad you're okay."

Your mouth parts open in surprise, certainly didn't expect them to worry this much for you.

"They gave me a lift here so I could start early on retouching the photos for the magazine," you concisely explain.

Hyunjin is listening to your conversation when Vin grabs him by the arm, taking him upstairs with him, "Let's get some rest. We have an early flight tomorrow!"

Hyunjin has seen you and he has heard your voice, but it's not enough. It'll never be enough.

He's afraid that as each day passes, he wants more than just seeing and hearing.

Back on the tour bus, it feels like going back home when in fact, the tour bus gives you a sense of comfort like home, while in fact, it's not.

Also, you're getting used to a lot of things and the staffs know you now that you got greeted everywhere you go. The people you're with feel more than just acquaintances and coworkers, they feel like one big unit. Maybe that's just the result of what happens when you put people in a moving, confined space together for a period of time.

Looking back at it, you were so skeptical about this job, your skill, and your ability to handle life on the road. Now, you feel proud of yourself for overcoming those struggles.

The bad and the good that happened are lessons that you must learn to be able to grow as a person.

There are only a few stops left on the tour and your heart is aching that this is going to end soon. It makes you hold on to it tighter than before. Especially knowing that soon, all of these will become memories.

This, the present, will soon become a part of that precious memories too.

You're on your way back from soundcheck when you meet Vin right outside the door, "I got something for you," he says.

You uneasily smile because that's an unlikely thing for him to say, "Y-yeah?"

He puts his arm around your shoulder and gets into the green room together. From the table, he takes a magazine and flips open to a page, once he found what he's looking for, he shows it to you.

It's so surreal that it feels like seeing a dream, you take the magazine from him and see it yourself. The photos you took at the festival are there, printed on paper. In the corner of the page, you see your name printed in small fonts.

"You did a good job!" Vin proudly says with a squeeze on your shoulder.

You can't help but smile, feeling proud of yourself and for once, receiving a compliment from Vin validated it.

"Drinks on me tonight!" He adds before leaving you to furtherly admire your work on your own.

Happy news should be shared, you're going around the room looking for the one person you can think of in a moment like this. You find him near the changing room with the stylist doing alterations to his jeans.

"Felix!"

"Hey, what's up?" He looks up to see you.

Without saying anything, you show him the magazine with a wide grin on your face.

He leans in close to see and coos in awe, "Whoa, I look so good in here," he points to the picture of him on the page.

Your grin fades and is replaced with an annoyed glare, "This is about me, not you," you tell him.

He bursts into laughter and holds his hand out at you, he can't move with the stylist still adjusting the length of his jeans while squatting down next to his feet.

You take his hand and let him place a kiss on your hand, "congrats, babe!"

Felix knows how to win you over with such a simple gesture, you know he's the right person to share this happiness with. Not forgetting that he's the one who landed you this job. That makes you grateful for him.

"Is this why Vin looks exceptionally happy today?" Lou asks as he flips open the magazine to see it.

You're drinking a can of cola while sitting next to him on the sofa.

"He said he'll be taking us out for drinks tonight," you say.

He whistles in excitement, "It's about time!"

Han snatches the magazine away from him and sees it for himself, "oh, your photos are really great!"

You can't help but smile, "thank you," you sheepishly reply.

Felix appears behind you and casually places a kiss on the top of your head, "that's my girl!" He confidently brags, then walks back to his chair to get his make-up done,

Han aggressively shuts the magazine and slaps it on the table, "excuse me, she's not only taking your photos," he complains.

Han moves to sit next to you and put his arm around your shoulder, there he continues speaking, "Which makes her, respectfully, our girl, not yours."

Lou also put his arm around your shoulder and agrees with Han's remark, "Our girl!"

You're laughing at the way Lou and Han are teasing you by trapping you between them, oblivious that there's someone who has no say in this.

Our girl?

Hyunjin likes to hear that, that means you are his too even if it's only a quarter of it. Maybe that's why he's only able to see you. But when it comes to talking to you, even just a simple exchange of good morning like you do with Vin. He's discouraged, afraid that you'd misunderstand him again.

Still... he wants more than just to see and talk.

He wants that pretty smile to greet him as he gets off the stage like you always give to Felix, a pat on the shoulder as you endearingly tell him, "You were so great as always!"

Is that too much to ask for?

There are only a few stops left on the tour and he feels like he's running out of time but what he needs to do is still unclear.

"Hyunjin?"

Someone calls for him and he turns around to find someone he wishes not to see, making her way to him.

"Why are you here?" He's not aware of how rude that sounded but that's the first thing that crossed his head at the sight of her.

The girl whom he likes once, who is a friend of a friend and she got in between their friendship. If there's one thing Hyunjin learned from this, to never like a girl who's a friend of a friend because, in the end, he could lose both the friendship and love.

She chuckles at Hyunjin's defensive response, "I was in town for a job so... I don't see why I shouldn't come," she answers.

It was two weeks ago that they met at the festival and she was there because her boyfriend, a friend and a former bandmate of Hyunjin, performing at the festival too.

But the main reason why he doesn't want to see her again is because Hyunjin chose to step away from it, he gave her up to save at least his friendship. That too, he couldn't save it.

There's no regret because Hyunjin knows it's for the best. So, he doesn't get why she's here.

From the way her smile wavers, Hyunjin senses that she knows she's not welcomed.

Felix comes behind him, "Come on! Vin is going to treat us to drinks tonight!" He excitedly says to Hyunjin.

It takes Felix a moment to realize that there's someone else there and a low gasp slipped out of him, "Oh...?"

"Well, I'm certainly not invited," She playfully remarks with a sad smile.

Hyunjin is not that petty but he wishes that he can be firm, telling her no would be the right choice.

"What are you guys doing? Let's go!" Vin shouts from the end of the hallway.

Then again, Hyunjin can't bring himself to say no, "You—"

Felix cuts through Hyunjin's words, "We'd love to invite you but it's for close people only so..."

She sheepishly smiles and nods, "it's alright," she says.

People are prone to Felix's charm and Hyunjin is thankful that Felix decided to step in and politely reject her on his behalf, it makes things easier for him.

"But we hope you enjoyed the concert," Felix quickly adds.

"I did. I had so much fun," she responds.

She fiddles with the strap of her bag, having something to say to Hyunjin but can't say it with Felix in there.

He senses it and excuses himself to leave first.

"Hyunjin," she calls.

He doesn't answer but looks at her, how her eyes are looking back at him but not giving the same effects as they used to.

Hyunjin doesn't need to hear another one of her efforts to make her way in, "listen," he says.

"I made my choice and you know what? I like where it took me," he explains.

That catches her off guard, maybe didn't expect Hyunjin to reject her right here, right now.

Hyunjin places his hand on her shoulder, "I'm afraid there's no second chance for us," he softly speaks to her.

Her eyes turn glossy the longer he looks at them but also in them, he can see everything clearly for the first time.

She sniffles and says, "But Hyunjin—"

"I like someone else," he blurts out and he's sure of what he said, sure that it's what he feels for you. He likes you, he wants you.

That sounds final to her that she has nothing to say back to him but leave for good. It's sad that Hyunjin has failed his first love but isn't that why it's called first love? Because there'll be a next one.

Hyunjin wants to do better on the next one and he knows what to do now.

Vin doesn't play around when he says he's treating everyone to drinks.

He takes everyone to the hotel bar which is located on the 8th floor of the hotel, providing its visitors with a stunning view of the city at night.

"We have finished more than fourteen concerts in nine cities and one festival this summer," Vin says, standing at the end of the table with a drink in his hand.

"I'd like to thank everyone for behaving..." he pauses for a second, changing his mind about what he wanted to say, "not so well but still manageable," he finally finishes.

He turns at you who sits between Felix and Lou on the left side of the table, "and our new addition to the bunch..."

You smile at him, curious about what he has to say about you.

"I realize that I never get to tell you how you've been very patient with me, us...." a wave of laughter halts him from continuing.

"Despite that, I am grateful that you're part of the team and I want to tell you that you've been working hard," he earnestly says.

It's the first time you heard him talking from the deep down of his heart that it elicits an emotional response from you. You feel validated and appreciated, you feel seen and heard, acknowledged.

"Come here!" He gestures for you to come to his side.

You get up from your seat with the help of Felix pulling the chair for you, then take a stand next to Vin.

"This is for you, for putting up with us," he raises his glass.

And everyone followed suit, raising their glasses in the air.

"And for four more shows to go!" He adds.

"To our girl!" Han shouts from across the table.

You laugh because he's not letting go of the debate.

But Vin repeated his words back to everyone at the table, "To our girl!"

With that being said, everyone is finally allowed to drink their picks of alcohol. You drink yours as well and wince at the burning feeling down your throat as you swallowed it all.

Vin pulls you into a side hug, "Have a lot of drinks tonight. You deserve it!"

You chuckle at his words, "thank you," you mutter to him.

That indeed sounds so tempting, you would love to keep drinking and have fun after a little while.

But the last time you got drunk, it didn't end that well. You want to avoid making the same mistake, so you decide to drink moderately and try not to think of Hyunjin, how he talked to that girl in the hallway with his hand on her shoulder, how you failed to do what Hyunjin asked you to do.

That fucking kiss, you curse inside your head and finish your first drink of the night.

Somehow on the third drink, the melancholic feeling that this soon will be over returns, hitting you with a wave of sadness that you have a hard time swallowing your drink.

"Have another one with me," Lou says, refilling your glass with more drink.

"It's the last one for me," you inform him.

He laughs as he slides the drink at you, "yeah, sure," he says with a sly smirk.

You might have lied about that being the last drink, you have two more drinks after and alternate it with soda in between.

It's a good strategy, you feel like a real adult for being sober enough to walk back to your hotel room while Lou has to send Han back to his room, drunk out of his mind.

The sight of the mess on the table distracts you, your initial plan is to end the day right here. No one asks you to do anything today, not even Vin.

"Ugh!" You groan, losing the battle to remain unbothered about not finishing your work of the day.

It's a habit that you created yourself and you suffer from it now.

I should have gotten drunk, you scold yourself.

There's a knock on the door, it must be Lou coming back from putting his best friend to sleep. You open the door without looking and walk back to the desk, "I'll be working all night. You can have the bed," you tell him.

You hear no answer but the sound of the door being closed behind you.

A while later, someone else replies to you, "You don't have to worry, he'll be sleeping in my room tonight."

Who did you let in just now? You know who it is but you refuse to believe that you're right. You take a deep breath before bracing yourself to the grand reveal, that it's him, Hyunjin.

"What are you doing here?" You have the right to be defensive, considering that it's your room, the only private space you have and he came here uninvited.

"I want to talk to you," he calmly replies.

You get up from your chair as he's coming closer and leans against the headrest of the chair.

"About what?"

"About us," he shortly replies.

Your heart starts beating so fast and you don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing it, you clear your throat before speaking again.

"I don't think we have something to talk about," you hope he didn't hear how your voice quivers at the end of the sentence.

"Oh, we do," he says while still walking towards you even though he's close enough that you have to start looking up to look at him due to the height difference.

You're not in the mood for his unfriendly words and glares, "We can talk some other time—"

"I want you to know that I have nothing between me and that girl," he says, sharing information that you don't even ask in the first place.

You hold your hands up to stop him from continuing and furtherly thinking that you want to know the truth.

"No, I don't care. I don't want to know," you tell him as best as you can without having to be rude because that's his thing, not yours.

He takes another step closer, eliminating the gap between your bodies and leaving mere inches for you to breathe. How can you think if you can see his beautiful face this close that you can see the tiny mole under his left eye? How can you force your brain to work it's busy playing the recollection of that night in the back of your head, haunting you with how soft his lips feel against yours.

"I want you to know. I want you..." he emphasizes the word you with an intense stare, "to care. I want you to be jealous," he insists his narrative on you and wanted it to be true.

That sounds just so absurd coming from him and it's making you burst into laughter. The most careful and reserved person you ever come across said that. You feel bad to let him know that you could be anything but jealous. In terms of look, yeah, you're jealous that she's much prettier than you but jealous because she's with him...

"I am not jealous," you tell him with a scoff, but that doesn't sound convincing, that sounded like you're offended instead.

"Why should I be jealous? I-I'm—" You lose track of what you're going to say to him. You wince at how you make yourself look like a fool in front of him.

"Our kiss... did you manage to forget it?" He cuts you off with a question that you don't have the answer to.

Slightly tipping his head, Hyunjin leans a little closer to the side of your head you can feel his breath fanning your cheek.

Needing something to hold on to, you grip the edge of the chair behind your back, tightly.

"Why do you care so much whether I forgot about it or not?" Your voice is shaky and small.

He slyly smiles and it looks good on him as if he knows it would scramble your brain, making it hard for you to stay focused. In other words, he knows he's winning.

"If you forgot about it then..." he puts his hand under your chin and angles your head, forcing you to look at him right in the eyes.

"I just have to remind you again," he softly speaks as it takes everything in him to try not to kiss you from the moment he laid your eyes on you.

Now that he leans in closer than before and you can feel his warm breath brushing your lips. As much as you don't want to be reminded, you close your eyes in anticipation of what's coming at you.

As your lips collide in a rapturous, spellbinding kiss that takes your breath away but at the same time, breathes life into you.

Hyunjin kisses you tenderly, savoring the taste that he craves so much. He kisses you slowly because that's how he should treat a beautiful thing.

And a beautiful thing is always fragile.

Hyunjin is drunk from your scent.

That doesn't stop him from planting kisses on any skin he can land his lips on, soft on soft, like kissing a flower. No words are needed when his desire is taking control of his body and your body answers to his craving.

He uses his hand to feel you all over, fingertips trailing every inch of your skin that makes him whimper under his breath.

You're much softer than he imagined, silky soft, and warm, so sensitive to his touch, shivering every time he touches you in certain places.

He can feel your hesitant yet curious hands exploring his body, slowly and gently, like you're afraid it would discomfort him. Oh, if only you know how much he likes being touched by your pretty hands. He takes them and kisses each fingertip with his lips right in front of you.

"You're so soft," he softly sighs as he pushes your hand close to his cheek, then places a tender kiss on the inside of your hand.

You look at him with your eyes in a daze, probably thinking that it was all just a dream.

So he leans in and kisses you for the umpteenth time that night, carefully putting his body on top of you, skin on skin, his body on your body, becoming one under the cover.

As he pulls away from the kiss, he puts his elbow against the mattress to take a good look at you. His thumb wipes your lips, still amazed at how soft they feel.

It tempts him to place another kiss and they're softer against his lips, he feels like kissing the clouds.

"How come you're so soft?" He asks in pure wonder.

All Hyunjin knows is loud and rough, all he's been touching are metal strings and hard surfaces, and his ears are used to buzzing noises and explosive sounds.

Now that he lays his hand on you, he knows that you're something that he should treat gently, with so much tenderness and care, he doesn't want to break such a beautiful thing with his hands that only knows how to push things to the limit.

He gently rubs your cheek with his knuckle, heating under his touch. He leans in to kiss you again, having no power in him to stop himself, he believes kissing you has become an addiction.

He's only an inch away from your lips when you open your mouth to say, "But you hate me..."

Hyunjin smiles because he has expected to hear this from you, sooner or later, he didn't know you would choose to say this when he's about to kiss you.

"I do hate you," he says.

Your eyes widened at his answer while Hyunjin softly chuckled from seeing your reaction.

"I hate you for thinking that's the only thing I feel for you," he explains.

He takes your hand and puts it around his neck, he wants your soft hand touching him, feeling him, all over. Leaning down closer, leaving only an inch between your faces.

"I feel other things too for you. I like you from the moment we met, I care for you, I worry about you, I think of you, sleep or awake. I like having you around me, I like seeing you everywhere I look and when I'm not looking, I unconsciously search for you. I am... pathetically in love with you," he pours every content of his heart, everything that you need to know.

Your gaze softens and it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, like watching the sun rises in your eyes, hopeful and warm.

"But you have no idea, do you?" He says with his eyes deeply staring into yours.

"How would I know when you always seemed to be mad at me?" You innocently ask him back.

That makes Hyunjin chuckles. He admits that his way of showing you affection is unconventional. What can he say? He's bad at it. But he likes how innocent you sound that he hastily kisses your lips, he then draws a sharp breath and lets out a pleasant sigh, "What do you even know?"

He can't wait to kiss you again so he does, indulging himself in the temptation and how sweet it tastes. The hand that is slipping into the back of his head puts him in utmost comfort.

Hyunjin hasn't seen your body with his eyes but he can picture in his hand from his exploration, the nook and crook, the dips and curves, he admires all of it.

Beautiful would be an understatement but that's what you are. Your eyes, your smile, your lips, the birthmark on your body, the scars that marked your skin, your little fingers, everything.

His hand goes to where he wants to touch you, to show you what he can do, to make you feel good, to...

"Hyunjin..."

You call him again in a heating moment where he unconsciously holds his breath for only God knows how long.

His first thought is that you don't want to do it. It's entirely his fault for reading the signs wrong. He hurriedly draws his hand out from under the cover.

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to," he assures you with a sweet kiss on your lips.

With your hand around his neck, you keep him close and then you whisper into his ear, "Condoms are in the bathroom."

You hide half of your face under the cover, flustered from telling him about it. He finds it adorable that he wants to take a bite of you.

"I'll go get it," he says, doesn't waste time walking to the bathroom to get it. He spots your toiletry bag near the sink, rummaging inside to take two foil packs.

When he returns, you're waiting on the bed while clutching the bed cover to your chest. Hyunjin sits at the edge of the bed to open one and securely rolled the rubber down his length.

It slightly surprises him that you greet him with a kiss as he gets under the cover, he takes it that you begin to relax around him.

That means he's on the right way so he kisses you back, hungrily and intensely with his hand squeezing the flesh on your waist. He gives you a moment to make yourself comfortable around him before letting his hand wander down south.

You part your legs open for him and let him touch you there, touching the delicate flesh that's already wet even though he hasn't started yet.

He's aware of how rough his hand is, he attentively watches your face to make sure you're uncomfortable with the way he touches you.

That doesn't enough for him, he needs to know for sure. "Good?" He asks against your lips.

You pull away just enough to give him a nod of confirmation.

More kisses, more touches later, his hand is drenched in your essence and his cock is throbbing, impatient to be inside you.

Hyunjin decides to hover above you without taking his lips off of you. He takes his hand away from your cunt and rubs your lips with his fingers coated with your juice, doesn't hesitate to kiss you next.

Oh, he can taste all of you in that kiss and it's so fucking sweet. He gasps when he lets go of the kiss.

It's driving him wild, making him so eager to be inside you. He slips his hand under the cover and slowly, exposes your body as he puts the cover away.

"Beautiful..." he murmurs as his eyes are feasting on your heavenly body.

Maybe this is why you kept it hidden all these times, you knew that it would make him salivate like a hungry animal. Hyunjin sits on the space between your legs and keeps them open wide for him, he pumps his hard cock with his hand before rubbing it on your slit, lubing it with your bodily fluid.

Moans spilling out of your parted mouth, low and sultry, instantly become his new favorite tune.

Be gentle, he reminds himself, fighting the urge to be inside you as soon as possible.

A broken moan escaped your mouth as Hyunjin teases your entrance with only the tip.

"Let's take it slow, mmh?" and he should have said that to himself.

Holding your legs in place, Hyunjin continues by slowly entering you. He pushes into you with eyes intently watch as his length disappears into you little by little.

Gosh, you take him so well, so good, so tightly. He groans at the overwhelming feeling, engulfed in the immense pleasure of finally being inside you, becoming one with you.

He lowers his mouth on your neck and kisses you there, humming as the pleasure of being inside you hasn't dissipated yet.

"Mmh. Yeah, so good, you feel so good," he murmurs close to your ear.

After a moment of composing himself, Hyunjin kneels on the bed and hooks your legs around his waist. He begins thrusting into you and each thrust sends him deeper into you that he's having a hard time controlling himself.

He doesn't want to rush it, he wants to make it last as long as he could, he wants to make it special for you, he wants to—then you clench around him when he thought he had it controlled.

"Good?" He asks as he looks down at you.

There's no reply and he knows it's because you're too shy to say it. From the way your body moves along to his cock slipping in and out of you, he believes it is.

Hyunjin takes a moment to take it all in: how beautiful you are laying under him, your breasts jiggling along to his intense thrust into you, your hands tightly gripping the sides of your pillow and your toes curling against the white sheet.

It's all beautiful, devastatingly beautiful.

Hyunjin slowed his pace and lowers his body on you, he kisses you while keep motioning his hips into you.

"Let's cum together, mmh?"

You're panting against his lips yet you are still able to respond with a nod.

Hooking your legs around him once again, he starts to pick up the pace. His hands found yours and laced them together with his, pinning them on each side of your head.

"Close, mmh?" He can tell from your moans turning into breathless whines.

Hyunjin thrusts faster than before, fast as he could, taking both of you to your highs.

"Look at me," he orders, making you turn your head to look and locked eyes with him. He wants to see your eyes, how they shine with his cock deep inside you. He's curious about what he'll see in them as you come undone.

However, your eyes are fluttering shut when he feels you cumming around him and you're sucking him deeper, tighter that Hyunjin has no way to fight the urge anymore.

One, two thrusts later, he gets to his release, filling the condom with his seed. He collapses on top of you, his chest against your chest, two hearts lying so close together.

"I hate you," he says to you.

"I hate you for making me so crazy over you."

Hyunjin might have emptied his heart by telling you the truth, but his heart remains full of his love for you.

You think you're dreaming it.

Without opening your eyes, you touch the hand wrapped around you and it's real. You look over your shoulder to see him, his faded red hair looking like cotton candy against the white pillow.

Time for a reality check. You rub your eyes and take another look. Hyunjin is fast asleep next to you, his hand is around you, holding you close.

Naked.

You suddenly get so aware of yourself, of your body and appearance. He has seen everything by now but still, your insecurities are not going anywhere.

The knocking on the door comes again.

Then you realized that you woke up thinking you dreamed of hearing the knockings. It's probably Lou, he needs to take his things.

"It's me, Felix!"

That's when you are filled with dreads. You scramble to pick up your clothes from the floor but that would take too much time and he'll keep knocking.

You grab a bathrobe from the bathroom and put it on quickly while heading to open the door.

"Yes?" You open just enough to pop your head out of the door.

He grins at the sight of you, "Did I wake you?"

You shake your head and put on a not-so-convincing smile, "No, I was in the bathroom," you lied.

"Oh?" He notices that you're in a bathrobe.

"What's up?" You ask.

"Let's get breakfast together," he says.

Felix did take you on breakfast a few times before but you didn't expect him to do it again today of all days.

"I-I have a stomach issue," you makeup excuses on the spot but can't find anything that is less embarrassing than this.

"You're sick, babe?" He asks with concern.

You shake your head again, "no, just, bad digestion," you stammer.

"Then let's order breakfast from your room," he says and takes a step to go through your hotel door.

"No!" You refuse a little too fast that it startles him.

"I mean, let's have it in your room," you resolve.

Felix is naturally a very caring person and knowing you're sick only gives him a reason to take care of you.

"My room is messy. Lou is unpacking his things... it's messy, you don't want to see it," you stumble on a word but it's convincing enough, or that's what you think.

"Okay then," Felix nonchalantly shrugs, "let's go to my room!"

He takes your hand and is about to drag you away, you keep the door open with your foot.

"I'm naked!" You blurt out.

He quickly lets go of your hand.

"I was about to take a hot bath when you came," you lie again.

He scans you for a moment, head to toe, probably noticing something is off about you, "are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to get back in, put some clothes on and I'll go to your room," you start to rambling.

He takes another look at you then nods, "I go back to my room and order breakfast for us."

"Sounds great!" You exclaim with a fake smile.

"See you then!" He says, heading back to the elevator.

You walk back into your room and shut the door, leaning and banging your head against it, feeling bad for lying to Felix.

Hyunjin is still sleeping and you can't bring yourself to wake him up, not when your best friend is waiting in his room to have breakfast with you.

On the way to Felix's hotel room, you stop by Hyunjin's room knowing that Lou is inside. You softly knock, afraid that if you knocked too loud, Felix would hear it too since his room is right next to Hyunjin.

"Lou, it's me!" You whisper close to the door.

Thankfully, Lou is awake, or half awake more like. His eyes are half open and tired.

You push him back as you step inside and close the door, "Hyunjin is in our room!"

He rubs his eyes, "yeah, I know," he sleepily replies.

"We uh... we—"

"Oh, God! Spare me the explicit details!" He groans while covering his ear, then plops down onto the chair.

It gets you panicked that he knows even before you tell him what happened. Is it that obvious?

You hurriedly cover his mouth with your hand to shut him, "Can you get him... you know, I don't want anyone to know," you don't know how to make it sounds like you're asking him to do the hard task of telling Hyunjin to go back to his room and to pretend that last night didn't happen, at least not in front of everyone.

"Okay," he casually answers.

You put your hands on his shoulders and look into his sleepy eyes, "and please don't tell anyone."

He puts your hand down and sighs, "I don't even tell anyone how you like to steal the hotel's slippers," he mumbles.

To be honest, it's better if anyone knows you had sex with Hyunjin rather than them finding out about that bad habit of yours that Lou secretly learned from sharing a room with you.

"Thank you, Lou!" You sincerely tell him.

He reclines on the chair, "Don't worry. I got you," he assures you with a sleepy smile on his sleepy face.

"Now I have to go to have breakfast with Felix," you hand him your hotel keycard.

"Off seeing your first husband, huh?"

You ignore his joke and exit the room. Taking a deep breath, you stop right in front of Felix's room and then knock on his door.

Hyunjin is hoping to find you laying next to him.

Instead of that, someone is throwing a pile of clothes onto his back.

"I'm sorry, dude but you have to skedaddle," Lou says.

He slowly turns on the bed and squints as the sunlight hits his eyes, blinding him.

"What time is it?" He asks while trying to get up.

"It's ten-something," Lou answers. He's walking around the room taking things, and putting on clothes while talking.

His eyes are still heavy with sleep but seeing the space on the bed where you lay asleep so close to him brings him back to last night.

He can still smell you on him, on his lips, and fuck, that sends him thinking of how good you felt around him.

Notices that Hyunjin still hasn't moved from the bed yet, Lou turns around from looking at the mirror on the wall to remind him, "You have a fan sign at noon. You'd better hurry!"

He groans in response to Lou and drags himself out of the bed, in the bathroom he washes his face quickly, then puts on his clothes.

Hyunjin gets into the elevator with Lou as he's planning to go to Han's room which is located across from his. As it arrives at his floor, the doors slide open and he gets surprised to see you with Felix.

"Oh, hey!" Felix greets.

Hyunjin's eyes are on you and he so badly wants to ask why you left in the morning. Why you chose to be with Felix than spend the morning with him?

You look just as surprised, your eyes are open wide, not expecting to meet him there.

"Where are you guys going?" Lou is the one who breaks the silence.

"We just had breakfast and are about to go to get coffee," Felix answers, "what about you guys?"

Lou had to grab Hyunjin by the sleeve of his shirt and drag him out of the elevator.

"We just got back from breakfast downstairs and we're going to wake the sleepyhead," Lou once again being the only one talking to Felix while Hyunjin and you are exchanging cryptic glances at each other.

"You get in first, babe," Felix holds the elevator doors open to let you in first, then he gets in after you.

"Anyone wants coffee?" Felix offers, now holding the doors open with the button on the panel.

"Yes," Lou shortly replies.

"Okay," Felix lets go of the button and the elevator closes.

Lou lets out a long, heavy sigh, "you need to calm down," he tells Hyunjin.

Calm down? He asks inside his head. How can he calm down when he knows his girl is going out with another guy?

"That's Felix. They're friends," Lou reminds him.

That certainly snaps him out of it. Hyunjin indeed, needs to calm down. You are with your friend who's also his friend.

But does it mean he has to keep this relationship a secret?

As if Lou heard his thoughts, he stops him from walking with a hand on his chest.

"Look, I know you like her but telling everyone about it will only complicate things for her."

He turns on his feet to face Hyunjin, "she's working and the job is already hard for her. Letting everyone know about it will make it harder for her," he adds.

Lou licks his lips before speaking, "Give her time, give her space."

Lou is right and maybe that was why the first time he fell in love he fell out of it fast, because he was impatient, thinking that it was okay to hurry love.

He wants to do better this time, he wants forever with you.

"At least, you know, wait until the tour is over then you can do whatever the fuck it is you want," Lou concludes.

He leaves Hyunjin once he has said what he needed to say and goes to knock on Han's room.

"Wake up you sleepy sloth!" He shouts at his door.

At the fan sign, he keeps thinking over, what Lou said to him earlier. He decides that it's best to keep this a secret at least until the end of the tour. Until then, he'll keep this between him and you.

Now that he thinks of you, his mind is taking him back to last night...

"Felix, your birthday is coming soon!" A fan says to him.

That takes him out of his reverie, Hyunjin overheard the conversation since Felix is sitting next to him, and hearing that makes him feel like a terrible friend. He completely forgot that Felix's birthday is only weeks away.

"What is your wish for this year's birthday?" The fan asks him again.

"Love," he answers.

Felix chuckles again and he quickly glances at Hyunjin, so fast that he almost missed it, probably afraid that he finds his answer corny.

"And happiness," he then adds as he signed a poster for the fan.

"Why? Our love is not enough for you?" The fan asks with a pout.

Felix gently shakes his head, "I'm afraid it's not enough," he jokingly says with a wide grin.

When it comes to giving Felix a gift, Hyunjin wants to give him a special one, It's best if it's what he needs. It's what he deserves for being such a good friend, a great bandmate, and an all-around lovely person to keep.

Once the fan sign is done, Hyunjin walks to the car back with him.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"You don't have to," Felix kindly refuses.

Hyunjin puts his arm around his shoulder and asks him again, "What is it? Tell me," he gently shakes his shoulder.

Felix grins as he thinks of something, "A house?"

Hyunjin burst into laughter, knowing that it isn't something that he can't afford, not now, probably not ever.

"You should ask that from Han!"

Felix also laughs and stops at the door of the car, "anything."

Hyunjin sighs because that's too broad, too general. Anything is anything but he's not sure if Felix would like it if he gifted him a piece of chewing gum.

"You give me a useless clue, Felix," Hyunjin mumbles with an annoyed eye-roll.

"I'll appreciate any gifts because that means you think of me when you choose it," Felix explains.

As expected, Felix is simple and warm, he's so pleasant to be with which makes it hard for him to find the perfect birthday gift.

Again, makes him feel like a terrible friend for not knowing what to get for him.

It's easier to be said than done.

Seeing you and not being able to touch you is hard. Not when he has known how you tasted and felt like, not when he's addicted to your touches and kisses.

It's been hours since the last time he saw you and he already misses you, so much that it's manifesting into physical pain.

Seeing you with Felix is... he doesn't know how to put it. Jealous? Hyunjin wants your affection and attention for him, him only.

Now he hates you for making him jealous of his friend.

But on top of all that, he wants the assurance that that night happened between you and him. It's real for him and he wants to know if it's real for you too.

It's hard to be alone with you when there are always people around him and when he's alone, you're not there. He thinks of another strategy to find alone time with you.

During soundcheck, he sees you going around the pit with your camera and taking pictures in between. He isn't sure if you looked at him but he did.

How come he misses you more after he saw you?

Letting his other bandmates leave first, Hyunjin stalled by taking small steps behind them. He knows you'll be passing this way too, you always go back to the green room a few minutes after the soundcheck finishes.

So he waits and waits, his heart starts to pitter-patter at the sight of you coming his way.

It's the perfect time to take you someplace that he knows no one will be there.

"Come with me," he says as he grabs your hand and takes you to the hidden chamber under the stage where the logistic boxes are stored.

It's dark with the only source of light coming from the tiny crack between two black curtains.

It's just the two of you now and suddenly, he loses what he's planning to ask you, to say to you.

"What?" Your voice is so low it's almost like a whisper.

"I—" he blanked out, losing his mind as he looks into your eyes, shining even under minimum light.

There's only this small space that separated him from you and he just wanted to get as close as possible to you, his feet take a step closer toward you.

"Yes?" You ask again with those eyes that keep luring him to look, deeper and deeper.

The next thing he knows, he's drowning in them. His hands hold each side of your face and slowly, he kisses you.

In no time, you melt into his arms, resting your hands on his chest as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.

You open your mouth for him, letting him invade you, getting as much taste of you. You kiss him back, softly, opposite to his hungry kisses.

With your hand on his chest, you gently push him away to stop him from kissing you.

"I need to breathe," you tell him while catching your breath.

Hyunjin is not sorry for being so needy yet he bashfully smiles at you, he buries his head in your neck to compensate for not being able to kiss your lips.

You let him have it too. You glide your hands up, putting them around his neck.

The warm breath you exhale tickles his ear but he likes it, he likes it because he can hear your faint giggles as he places fluttering kisses on your neck.

He drops his hands to your waist, wrapping them tightly around you, and pulls you even closer until your body is molded into his.

"I hate you," he playfully whispers to you.

You turn your head to look at him, "what is it now?"

"I hate you for making me miss you," he replies.

You giggle again and it's the cutest thing he ever heard. Oh! The things he wanted to do to you if he wasn't in a dark, confined space with you.

Before you can turn your head away, he captures your lips in a kiss, long and lingering, taking your breath away for the second time.

Hyunjin knows when to stop this time, he lets go of the kiss but not pulling away. He turns to playfully bite on your lower lip, tugging it between his teeth while you can only smile as he does as he pleases.

He stops biting to only start sucking on your lips, then kisses you again at the end while his hands wander by themselves, touching your clothed body and squeezing the flesh with so much passion.

It's getting dangerous now that his kisses become hungrier, harder, and deeper and his hands are slipping under your t-shirt, feeling the heat of your body under his touch.

The right decision is to stop whatever it is he's doing but when he's with you, he can't think straight. Judging from his past experiences, he always ended up taking bad decisions.

"Hyunjin," you call his name while running out of breath.

Should he be thankful that you put on a halt to this?

You smile while taking his hands from you to hold them in yours, intertwining them together and dropping them to the sides.

"We have to go," you remind him.

He pulls you close again, "No, we can stay."

A chuckle escaped your mouth and he steals a kiss on the corner of your lips.

"I'll go first," you volunteer to be the one leaving the secret rendezvous.

Hyunjin holding your hand tighter, not willing to let you go. But he knows he has to, he reminded himself that it's the best option for now.

With a soft kiss on your knuckle, he lets you go.

At the end of the concert, Hyunjin is always the last to get off the stage. He prefers to stick a little longer, waving to his fans, and takes a long, good look at them for making another memorable night together with him.

And you'll be there, at the side of the stage, cheering them for a successful show.

Everything feels different now that he knows you're no longer thinking he hates you, you wouldn't misunderstand him again.

The temptation to just let the world knows that you are his and he's yours is a little too hard to ignore. As he gets off the stage, Hyunjin has to put everything in him not to run and kiss you.

He has to be fine watching you greet someone else with that smile and not getting that pat on the back, telling him he did a good job.

Just three more stops, three more stops and he can have you, all of you.

LAST STOP ON THE TOUR.

Something is not right.

Hyunjin senses that something is slightly off with you. At a glance, he can tell that everything is fine just like last night, the two of you went on a secret date and he could tell that you liked it by how your smile didn't wear off for a second.

Something happened after last night. For all he knows, something could have happened this morning.

It's just that when he takes a closer look, he knows something is not right. Your smile wavers, your stay quiet, and your eyes dim, the glints you usually have in them are nowhere to be seen.

Hyunjin needs to make sure that it has nothing to do about him and you, about the relationship. Maybe you're simply having a bad day or feeling sentimental about the tour coming to an end.

It could be that but Hyunjin has to know for sure.

He sees you walking out of the green room, he has only a few minutes then it's his turn to get his make-up done. He runs out and sees you're walking in the hallway, heading somewhere with your camera.

He chases after you and takes your hand, he makes sure no one is around when he takes you inside the infirmary that he knows will always be empty.

You look a little taken aback when he turns to face you.

It becomes a habit now, seeing your face automatically sends his brain to do one thing: to kiss you.

The moment his lips make contact with yours, everything feels alright again and his weariness evaporates into thin air. You smile as he takes more of your lips with a playful kiss, brushing his lips over yours, again and again, hungrily, never enough.

He only lets go knowing that you running out of breath, he brushes the hair that curtain your face and put it to the side, holding them there.

"How are you?"

"I'm good," you answer.

That thin smile you put on your face is telling him the opposite. He holds your face like a piece of glass that could break if he holds it too hard but it would be easy for him to look into your head and see what's bothering you.

Hyunjin gently rubs your cheek with his thumb, in slow, circular motions. Softly speaking, he asks, "Are we good?"

You let out a chuckle, "of course, we're good," you confidently answer.

That sounds convincing but has not quite put him at ease yet. He pulls you close and hugs you, he buries his nose in your hair, drinking in the scent that gives him a sense of comfort.

"Are you sad that the tour is ending soon?" He carefully asks, afraid that it's not something you wanted to talk about yet.

For a moment, he doesn't get an answer. Then, you nod.

He splayed his hand on the arch of your back and kisses the top of your head, "but we'll be still together, you hear me?"

You nod again as your hands wrapped tightly around his dainty waist as if he'd fly away. But that's just what you do, keep him grounded, make him better, happier.

Hyunjin is happy to know that you feel the same about it. The tour ending means that he'll no longer be able to be with you 24/7 but he also can't wait to disclose this relationship, he's tired of hiding it, hiding you.

"Look at me!"

You tilt your head to look at him and he can see the sadness in your eyes. He doesn't want to see that, he wants to see those eyes shine like they always do.

"I love you," he lowly mutters.

For the first time, it feels so right to say it, maybe because you're the right person that he doesn't feel any pressure after saying it. If anything, he feels more confident with his feelings. He loves you.

You're not saying anything but standing on your tiptoe to kiss him, responding to his words with action. You're replying to his words with your warm lips and your sweet breath, then a smile that lingers on your face as you pull away.

"Are you not going to say it back to me?" He jokingly asks.

You quickly bury your face in his neck, shyly smiling in the crook of his shoulder.

In the front pocket of his jeans, Hyunjin's phone is vibrating between your bodies and it startles both of you.

"I swear it's my phone," he says with a sly grin.

He fishes it out and hit accept without looking, "I'll be there in a minute," he says, then hang up.

You take a step backward, know that he has to go and it's less than an hour left before showtime.

"I'll go first," he says.

"Okay."

He puts his hand on your neck and brings you close so he can kiss you, slow yet deep, you almost choke on air when he sucks on your tongue.

Teasing you more, he gently bites on your lower lip to finally let go. He's triumphantly smirking, knowing that he got you completely breathless from it.

The closer he gets to the end of the concert, the more he's enjoying himself. Hyunjin believes it's coming from the pressures slowly getting off his shoulders.

Truthfully, it's been hard for him to keep it a secret, to keep you for himself, to be alone with you and he's getting closer to being free.

For his solo performance, Hyunjin plays his rendition of Jimi Hendrix's Little Wing. It's not something that he usually plays because this particular track is slower in tempo, rhythm, and blues-inspired ballad. It's one of Jimi Hendrix's most concise and melodically focused pieces.

"Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and fairytales..."

That's what you are to him: pretty, dreamy things that fascinated him.

"When I'm sad, she comes to me with a thousand smiles she gives to me free..."

And that's what you do to him, you brighten his days and light up his nights, fill the hours with your laughs and smiles.

Hyunjin just can't wait for you to take him flying on your little wings, riding in the wind.

Once the concert ends, Hyunjin doesn't want to be the last to come to you. Other than that, he can't stop his feelings that are coming at you at full speed.

You should be warned that there's no stopping for him.

Hyunjin walks past Felix and comes to you, he doesn't want to give himself a second to think, he just wants to do it.

With his heart pounding inside his chest, his blood rushing, and adrenaline still overflowing out of him, Hyunjin comes at you and grabs you by the waist, then kisses you. It's not quite a turn-on with him drenched in sweat but fuck it, he's been waiting for weeks to do this, he gave up more than what he could give.

Hyunjin deserves this, he deserves...

Then you push him away, hard enough to send him staggering backward.

He looks at you and sees your eyes filled with something almost like repulsion. Your hand flies to cover your mouth and then, he sees it, your eyes shifting at Felix.

Felix stares back at you with his mouth slightly hang open, then he glances at Hyunjin.

What the fuck is happening? Why did he do wrong? What it has got to do with Felix? The two of you are just friends or...

Hyunjin turns to look at you but you're already running away from him. You run without turning your head back at him as if he's the past that you want to forget.

Instead of flying with your little wings, he watches you run and run and run.

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badgyalshii · 1 month

Text

ITS NEVER OVER |||

+ (WHERE HAVE YOU GONE)

word count: 1.7?

Paul atreides x Reader (Always safe for POC + PLUS SIZE) Paul POV!!!

warnings: signs of depression? were happy in there tho, proof read? yeah something like that (god i am not good at these😭) y/n is not in this chapter but ofc shes mentioned entirely throughout the text.

A/N: AHHHHHH THE FINAL CHAPTER BEFORE THE FINALE, IM EXCITED TO POSTTTT, i hope you guys enjoyed and i love the feedback i recieved! i love you all, have a good day/night, whenever you get this! (Also, considering that this is from pauls POV i thought that i might add an extra title)

Hey! Have you read the first chapters? You didnt? What! Read it here!! I . II . III . IV.

Hmm? You said you like shii’z writing?! Omg me too! Check out her masterlist!

He let out a heavy breath before he ripped his mask off of his face. He wasn't supposed to be out alone considering he was the new crowned emperor. But he was, and he was searching for you and he wasn't gonna give up until he did. He wore heavy clothing to try and hide his identity from others, and a bag that slung around his shoulder consisting of his journal, water, and other things he might need. He settles for the night in a rock. A rock with a beautiful view. He has been on the road for so long, he's forgotten how long, he didn't really care to remember either, considering it would help motivate to find you. He walks around the rock, searching for anything to give him clues of you or if you might've been here.

As he looked around, It was clear that someone had been there before. He looked at the bad attempt of making a bed, but he didn't touch it. His eyes slightly closed from trying to study the bed, there were still prints of a body, maybe two, on the bed. He hunches over. There was a piece of hair, as disgusting as it sounds…he picked it up. It was the same as yours, he took a rather long pause before thinking, maybe he should smell the bed? No, what if he smells something he doesn't like. He shook his head before looking at the single strand of hair that was in his hand. He sat down on the bed, setting the hair gently aside before taking off his glove and putting the strand back in his palm. Everybody's hair could be similar, he thought. He let out a sigh before looking ahead of him. He didn't know what time it was, but all he knew was that he was tired and heart broken. He didn't miss his home, not at all, not with you not there.

He put his glove and his mask back on before placing the hair into his bag. Out of everything that was going on, at least the view was beautiful. He stood and walked to the view of the rock, carelessly taking footsteps before he sighed and dropped down, his legs open and his elbows on his knees as he took in the view. He let in a deep breath. ¨tired. I am tired¨ he let out in a whisper. He fought his sleep often because he knew it would make him less confident and he would grow to slack, but sometimes he just couldn't take it anymore. The yawns leaving his lips, difficulty holding onto the hooks that latched onto the sandworm, but he thought he could finally settle here for a while, as a reward for finding a piece of hair that have a 5 percent chance of being yours.

As he watched the view, he thought of you. He didn't cry as much anymore. When he cried, he cried alone in private. And during that time, he cried until he couldn't anymore. Every time he saw Irulan it made him sick to his stomach. As much as he wanted to blame her, he couldn't. His heart was too good and he knew better than to let a weak desperate moment turn into anger. ¨why did i offer?¨ he would think over and over, countless times, wondering how could he be so careless. But he wasn't, he didn't want to marry her for the reason of love, just wanted to keep her safe as a promise to the retired and overthrown emperor. Thinking about it made him question his character, who has he grown to be? hed remembered what you said, he always thought of the smart and wise things you had to say.

¨its okay to feel how you feel, paul¨ you looked at him with a pity smile on your face while your hand was on his cheek. He had another nightmare. He didn't want it to be true. ¨this is gonna make me go crazy, y/n¨ paul whispered back, leaning into y/ns touch. ¨don't let it fool you, don't let it phase you, don't let it change you¨ you replied. At times, all paul wanted to do was give up. He didnt wanna be the chosen one. It was all too much. He could stay here forever, with you. For all eternity if he could.

Paul sighs and looks to the side. Remembering what you said, he wished things weren't so quiet.he laughed to himself, all the dreams he had of the future, but none of you. He sat alone, all alone, not one book, not one sound, just him, by himself. He felt empty, he wants you, he needs you, he needed someone to make him feel complete again, but days spread thick and long, bored, fighting himself back and forth between hope for finding you and wondering if you had just moved on. He wished he had a dream of you, of your blue eyes glistening in the sun, of your laugh, He wished it was so vivid that he touched you, that he could control his dream and talk to you, make love to you, but he had nothing, nothing at all. Nothing to remember you by, just a stupid suspicious piece of hair, tears brimmed his eyes, he needs you. There was no one he could pray to if he was the chosen one. No matter how hard he fought, how he tried to distract himself from work, it all lead up to one person, not one other thought, never out of sight out of mind, he knew what he wanted and he fell so deep he felt like he just couldn't grasp it anymore, how was he supposed to live his life without you. Your soft gentle hands grazing his face and answering the stupid and goofy questions he asked. There was no one else and he knew that now, didn't even find anyone else attractive. Lonesome nights, he didn't want to be on his own, ever again. Once he found you he vowed to never let you go, no matter how loud your voice is, no matter if you kicked him down, your in his heart and he just cannot let go, but how long could he search? Huh? How long would it be until he found you? When will he hear your voice again? When will he kiss you again? He didn't even say I love you before you walked off, for all he knew, that was his last goodbye.

On the first day, he acted as if nothing happened, but then he realized you weren't there, he couldn't pick at your dinner plate, he could hear your laughs, he couldn't feel your pity hits after he whispers a dirty joke. He had no one to talk to, no one to ask him if he was okay. Was he...okay? Had he known he was okay? Or has he grown so long to the point where he wasnt and he just didn't know it. He wished he said more, begged you to stay, cried about it, weeped about it, there was so much he could've done and he didn't, he only said a short explanation of how he was waiting for you and now he's on the run, on the search. He was so tired, so tired of looking at the same spice on the ground, carving on the rock of the walls. He wanted to be next to you, holding your head in his shoulder, hear your soft snores as you slept like there wasn't a care in the world. He'd never expect this, a life without you. He sighed and shook the thought out of his head, noticing he was in too deep and he wiped the tears that slowly dropped from his face, letting out a sniffle as he looked ahead. He didn't want to be too deep, of course he missed you, but he wanted to find you with a clear conscience, a healthy mind. He needed something to keep him going. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked to the ground. He placed a palm down and leaned closer to the floor. What is this? This imprint on the floor? Looks familiar.

He looked over it, careful not to move or make any sudden movements. ¨y/n?¨ he muttered. Any normal person would've thought paul as crazy, looking like he's searching for spice on the floor, and then wanting to jump and cheer, because, well, because what?

The necklace

The necklace Paul got for her. It was there! Clear as day. What a time to cheer! He couldn't fight off the smile on his lips. She's alive! She's alive! What a joy, out for two years! Been all around Arrakis, and at such a time he was going to give up, go home, force himself to get comfortable with his new situation, you were out there. Shall he go home? To tell stilgar and have a celebration? Sweet red wine sounded like heaven. He wiped his eyes as finally, finally tears came down. Tears of joy, he waited for this moment, oh so long! He was so happy he could take the dirt and put it in his bag also.

He laughed, he found it funny how he grew so tired of being next to his queen that he went and found you himself after he told you to come back. He grew impatient. He took out his journal and wrote, writing his life away as he thought of you, as the warmness of love and hope crowded his vision and spreaded throughout his body. This is all he wanted, to find you. And he was so close, so, so close.

He hadn't felt like this in a long time. He got up and collected the dirt from the necklace in his hand and watched it fall from his gloves. Looking around and seeing the footsteps, all yours he believed! He looked before following the footsteps, he followed them foot by foot until he was in the sand again. He hunched over, trying to search for the footsteps as they were getting lost from the wind of the sand until he couldn't anymore. He stood and pulled out his compass for the direction that you went. When it pointed he saw and lifted his head in the direction you went. This was it, this was the final piece, this was the end.

You were home.

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widowmaxff · 2 months

Note

Hiii WandaNat x daughter reader where R was severely harmed in a mission or got involved.

For example, they Nat or Wands were assigned on a mission to investigate and just so it happens, R was there so when chaos started, R was severely injured and like got a pretty bad brain damage which she will fight through. How will the mother's copee??

Thankss!

safe & sound

pairings: parents!wandanat × daughter!reader (platonic)

warnings: angst, bad writing :P, crying, physical violence, hospital, natasha blames herself ;((, lots of love from moms <3

a/n: im really sorry it took me SO long to write this request, ive been having awful weeks and im really trying to write. anyway, i hope you like it and thank you very much for the request luv <333

When you decided you wanted to follow in the same footsteps as your mothers, they didn't react so well. You always trained with the Avengers, closely watching their next steps for any unforeseen circumstances and how good they were at what they did. And you especially loved seeing Wanda and Natasha fighting, they have been your inspiration since you were little and understand each other.

You remember when you asked your mother Natasha to start going on missions, even if it was the easier ones that would only take a few hours, and you could swear you saw her eyes light up with regret. Not that she didn't trust you, but both Natasha and Wanda knew that any mission would be dangerous and the last thing they wanted was to leave you hurt or for anything bad to happen to you. So, you started to train even more and show how much you dedicated yourself to going on one of these missions and, as your mothers knew you so well, they knew that you wouldn't give up until you went on one of them.

"Fury allowed you to go on this mission with one of us," Natasha was sitting in front of him next to Wanda in the meeting room. You couldn’t hide the smile on your face, your legs shaking because you were so excited for your first mission. "It's an easy mission where you just have to investigate and collect some important information in an old Hydra base." You nod listening to every detail of what you needed to do.

"Fury assured us that there will be no one and no agent, but for your safety you will carry a weapon, okay?" Wanda, your other mother, spoke this time. She also seemed to be a little worried about your first mission since she remembers very well what it's like to be in the hospital bed after one or see anyone else in it. Just imagining you in that position makes her body shiver.

Your mothers start to tell you some information about what you should know and what would happen. Even though the mission was so easy and simple, Wanda decided that it would be better if Natasha accompanied you, since if she went along she might end up getting so nervous that she would faint. And even though you assured that you would be careful, she made you hug her for at least five minutes, stroking your hair and giving you all the comfort you would need for that mission. "I love you so much my love."

"I love you very much too, Mama." You felt Wanda leave a long kiss on your hair as you laid your head on her shoulder. "I promise everything will be fine."

She laughs and takes a deep breath. "I'm the one who should be saying this. But you're right, my love." You separate from her and see that her eyes were full of tears.

Even though it seemed a little dramatic, you knew that Wanda was very close to you. Whenever your mother missed you because you were only away from home for a few hours, you remember when Natasha told you that when it was your first day of school when you were a toddler, Wanda didn't want to let you go at all. And now several years later, she still reacted the same way.

"Alright, we better go before Wanda makes us give up." Natasha says, making her other mother roll her eyes before walking towards her, leaving a long kiss on her lips.

"Ew, not in front of me." You make a disgusted expression at them, even if it was just a joke. You've always admired how much your mothers are in love with each other and how much they show it on a daily basis. Wanda always preferred physical affection to love Natasha, and Romanoff always preferred acts of service to love Maximoff. And even though they were different things, the two never disliked these acts.

"One day it's going to be you, sweetheart." They giggle before hugging each other as they say 'I love you'.

[...]

Your hands sounded as you entered the Hydra base. A gun in hand as you looked in every corner of that place. You felt like something was out of position, but you tried not to worry. Maybe it was just your anxious conscious or maybe you were just too nervous. The noise of your heart was too loud and the only thing you heard was the faint footsteps of your boot on the ground. And even though you tried to focus on what was happening there at the moment, it seemed like now all of your mother Wanda's nervous genes were in you.

"I think I found it, Mom." You speak into the device in your ear, Natasha listening on the other side. She praises you, sending a wave of comfort to your mind that seemed to be trying to sabotage you at that moment.

You quickly place the pen drive in the computer and see the percentage of how much was transferred appear on the screen. You hold the gun tightly in your hands as you scan the place, looking at every possible corner. You walk to your right calmly, trying not to make too much noise in your tall black boots. And when you were about to take the next step, a big tud behind you made you turn around quickly, still with the gun pointed forward. "Mom, I just heard a noise-" And before you could finish speaking, the lights in the place went out completely, the energy going out.

"Y/n- need- leave-!" The device in your ear was getting stuck a lot, loud noises disturbing what little you could hear. Natasha tried to say something, but you almost couldn't hear, leaving you alone with your own thoughts.

With all the training you had you tried to stay as calm as possible. Even if you couldn't see if someone or something was with you, your ears tried to capture any sound coming from that space, but with the device in your ears it was almost impossible. You knew that if you took it off it would be a big risk if your mother ever managed to talk to you again. But it would also be a risk not to hear what was around you.

You debated with what you should do or not do, but it was too late when two large arms grabbed your body from the ground. You let out a startled scream when you realize what is happening. Your reflexes are quick as you forcefully push your elbow into the stomach of the stranger behind you. He staggers back, making you fall to the ground, but before you can do anything, a kick lands in your belly. You hit your head on the ground, making your vision even blurrier. Your gun was still stuck in your hands, so the first thing you do is aim forward and shoot, when you hear a male scream of pain you know you hit him somewhere. "You bitch!"

You don't realize what's happening when he takes a gun out of his pants and also shoots. You scream in pain when the bullet pierces your arm that was holding the gun, it wasn't very deep, but the pain was too horrible. And even if you tried, you couldn't raise your arm to shoot the guy again. You start to crawl backwards trying to get away from the figure that you still couldn't see in the dark and prayed that he couldn't see you too.

But when you started to hear his heavy footsteps towards you, you knew there was nothing left to do.

[...]

Wanda felt her heart stop when she heard the doctors moving around in the Compound. Someone had been hurt on some mission a few hours after you and Natasha left. Maximoff was shaking as she waited for the injured person's Quinjet to pull up, and even though she asked any of the doctors who the unlucky one was, it seemed like she was invisible to them. It seemed like they didn't want to respond to watch her heart break into a million pieces.

Wanda felt so nervous that she thought maybe she was going to faint. Thinking that the extremely injured person, since the doctors were going almost crazy to get everything they needed, could be you or Natasha, made her want to throw up her entire lunch right there. And when the car appeared in their vision, Wanda moved even closer, continuing to give the doctors space to do their work.

When the big door opened, the first thing your mother saw was Natasha with some bruises on her face along with tears that still fell on her pale face. Romanoff held you in her arms. One of them put pressure on your arm to stop the bleeding, but even so, you seemed to be bleeding from other places as a pool of blood was being spilled by Natasha's suit. Your body was unconscious and heavy in your mother's hands, your face completely scarred with cuts and bruises all over it. And even if your mother tried to look at your fragile and small body, she couldn't.

Maximoff lets out a grunt when she sees that you were the current patient. Seeing how Natasha staggered with you in her arms was one of the worst sights she could have had. You being placed on the stretcher while the doctors took you to surgery as quickly as possible was in her nightmares, and now, she could feel firsthand how horrible that was. Natasha follows the crowd of people, finally coming across her wife there. Romanoff didn't wait a second to throw herself into Wanda's arms as the two allowed the tears to fall. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"Shh- it's not your fault, Natasha." Wanda tried to calm her down, even though it was almost impossible since she also needed comfort. "Y/n is going to be fine, it's okay."

"I- I couldn't get there in time. She was in- in a huge pool of blood and this guy was-" Natasha couldn't finish speaking before her eyes started bursting with tears again as she recalled the scene of you barely conscious on the ground while the Hydra agent kicked you mercilessly. Blood smeared everywhere and your face full of tears was what she saw every time she closed her eyes, it was horrible.

It took Wanda a few minutes to get Natasha to calm down. Despite many other occasions being the opposite, Romanoff has always shown how concerned she is about you. But seeing you and having to carry you almost dead in her arms was another thing entirely, and one that will probably haunt her forever. Natasha had the beginning of a panic attack there, with her blood on her suit and on her hands, but Wanda, knowing her wife, managed to make her feel like she was on the floor again.

A few hours had passed since you entered that operating room, and knowing that it would take a long time for the doctors to stabilize you, Wanda took care of Natasha, cleaning her body and putting her in more comfortable clothes to wait for you sitting in the waiting room. Your mother was able to breathe normally now, even though the tears hadn't stopped falling from both of their faces. Natasha felt her body want to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her, not when you were fighting for your life in the next room.

Wanda runs her hand affectionately through Natasha's red hair that reminded her of your own. Her head on her shoulder as she felt her wife's body relax but then become rigid again, but even if Maximoff tried, she wouldn't be able to make Natasha relax. "Remember that time Y/n fell down the slide and broke her arm? She didn't even cry." Wanda spoke so softly that any outsider who saw it would think she wasn't as nervous as her wife.

"Yeah... she even asked you to break her arm with your magic so she could put a cast on it again so she could draw on it." Natasha laughs remembering when you were seven years old, you were probably the happiest child in the world.

"She's so strong," Wanda murmurs as she presses a kiss to Natasha's red hair and she closes her eyes taking a deep breath. "I know she'll make it out of this."

And when Maximoff stopped talking, one of the doctors who was participating in your surgery enters the room. Natasha was now more than awake, her body jumping up towards the man in the white coat. Wanda doesn't take long to join her either, rambling questions to the doctor over and over again. "Everything went well in the surgery to remove the bullet from Y/n's body, despite the heavy blood loss." Romanoff holds her wife's hand while listening to him talk about your conditions, squeezing it every time she feels like her heart is going to come out of her mouth. "Unfortunately, due to the severe injuries to her head, she was caused a brain injury called a concussion."

"Oh, God. She's going to be okay, isn't she?"

"Don't worry, Mrs. Maximoff. Concussion is a very common thing for people to experience and usually with a few weeks of medical treatment and rest she will feel well again." The two women were finally able to take a deep breath without feeling that nervousness in their chests. "You just need to pay attention to some symptoms she may have, such as headache, mental confusion, sometimes memory loss, nausea, vomiting, excessive fatigue and some other things that you will probably notice. With the treatment I am sure that Y/n will recover much better.”

Despite all these things you might feel, they were relieved that you were okay. And they knew you would recover quickly, your genes coming from Natasha and Wanda weren't just anyone, you were strong and everyone knew it. And even if they thought that way, nothing would prepare them for seeing you lying on the stretcher. Your body was so fragile and small there, your eyes looked so tired despite being closed and the cuts on your face didn't help. The tubes coming out of your body weren't the prettiest, but it was what was helping you survive at that moment.

"My baby girl..." Wanda stroked your hair as she looked at you now slightly pale face. Her comforting touch would make you lean against her even more if you were awake, but that wouldn't be possible at the moment.

Natasha remained a little distant compared to Maximoff. She was scared, scared that if she made any move you would get hurt again, because in the redhead's mind everything that had happened was her fault. If she had checked to see if the area really was clean, if she had warned you as quickly as possible so you could get out of there, if she had arrived on time. "Nat?" Wanda knew what she was thinking, what she felt was written on the ex-assassin's face, and her wife had been with her for enough years to know what that mind was thinking.

In a few moments, Romanoff's body was enveloped in Wanda's affectionate and comforting embrace, who gently moved from side to side, holding her head against her shoulder while leaving a chaste kiss on her hair. Natasha knew that hug from anywhere, the hug that said everything was okay, that everything would fall into place again. Sometimes it took more than a hug for her to feel that, but sometimes she knew Wanda was right. "I w-want a hug too." Your hoarse voice was present at the scene, making your mothers quickly separate from each other.

"Y/n, my god! You scared me so much, don't ever do that again-"

"Wands, calm down, don't give her any more headaches." You chuckle along with your mother Natasha who was now holding your wife's hand. They walk towards your stretcher seeing that you still seemed to be a little disoriented with everything that happened, but even so you still had a smile on your face for them.

"How are you feeling, my love?" Wanda again made the same affectionate gestures to you as she sat next to you, feeling your body relax at her touch, but this time, you are awake enough to feel it.

"Headache and feeling like I might throw up at any moment."

"Ew." Natasha complains in a funny tone making you want to laugh at that moment, but having a headache would make things even worse. Romanoff still had an apprehensive tone on her face, maybe it was the guilt she felt she had or maybe it was seeing you in that place, with bruises everywhere.

"You aren't hurt, are you, Mom?" Even though you almost died with a gunshot wound to your body and a brain injury, it was obvious that you would care about others, especially if it was one of your mothers.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me, sweetheart." Natasha moved a little closer to you, leaving a kiss on your forehead that was welcomed with a smile on your face. "I was so worried about you." She murmurs as Wanda places one of her hands on her wife's thigh, making small circles on it.

"I'm fine now, Mom. Thanks for going to save me." You put a small smile on your face in a funny way, trying to ease the tension of the hospital room.

"You know I'll always be here for whatever you need." Natasha wasn't just referring to helping you save yourself from physical violence, but she was also referring to helping you when you have any problems. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? She will be there. Do you need help completing a task? Don't worry, you know she won't take a minute to come to you. Problems with girls or guys? She will love telling you how she really knew the love of her life.

In those times when something difficult happened, your mothers knew how to comfort and help you. You had an unbreakable bond and that always warmed your heart. Realizing that you had people who more than cared about you by your side was incredible. Maybe for some other people it was strange to have two mothers, but you didn't care, because for you, it was an indescribable magic.

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vanillanaps · 9 months

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As I Lay Dying | Bucky Barnes

Request - if i gave you the prompt “death of a relationship” with mr bucket barnes, could you help give me the best angst ever?

A/n - This is the first fic ive been able to write in over a year. There was a lot of writing and deleting but I think I finally got it right 😭 Anon, I hope this was every thing you asked for.

Category - Bucky Barnes x Reader, angst

Warnings - Infidelity, broken hearts, authors first fic in a year, no hard feelings if it’s shitty, not proof read as always.

Word Count - 1.5k

♡♡♡♡

When you fall in love, the world you once knew changes in a heartbeat. You find this special someone whom you seem to never stop thinking about. This special someone who can make you smile, even in your saddest moments. This someone who you suddenly want to share every single small detail in your life with. This someone who you fall so madly in love with that you can’t even remember life before them, nor do you want to imagine the rest of your life without them. Love is supposed to be full of happiness, laughs, kisses, hugs, and passionate sex. Love is supposed to make you feel like you’ve been doped up on drugs for the last three years. Love is supposed to make you feel whole, not…empty.

And yet, there you were. You hadn’t moved a single muscle since those words came flowing out the love of your life’s mouth. It almost seemed silly. You questioned yourself, wondering how you didn't see it coming. Had you been so blindly in love that you hadn't noticed your boyfriend slowly slipping through the cracks of your fingers, into the hands of another woman.

Your eyes never left him. Even in a moment like this, those stunning blue eyes still had that soft and innocent charm behind them, even though that was everything he was not. They were low and soft, almost as if they were filled with true remorse, but if they were, he wouldn’t be here, leaving you for another woman. He’d be down on his knees, begging you for your forgiveness.

“Y/n,” Bucky called, a softness in his voice as if he was trying not to startle you, “Please, I just need you to say something–anything.”

“When did it start?” You asked, voice completely shot from the lump that had formed in your throat and refused to leave as your tears ran in a continuous stream down your face, “I just don’t understand Bucky, I mean, we were happy, right? We were in love, we were good!”

Bucky cleared his throat as he crossed his fingers together and lowered his head, “It started a few months ago, at Tony’s new years party.”

Your heart dropped, further than it did before, “But–but,” you took a beat, trying to piece the puzzle together. Confusion, sadness, anger, all mixed into one on your face, “......You proposed to me that night..”

He took a deep breath as his leg bounced anxiously up and down, “Y/n, i’ve never told you the truth about Nat and I.”

If it would have been possible, by now, your heart would’ve been sitting in your lap, “What?”

♡♡♡♡

Four months ago; One hour til New Year’s

The atmosphere was loud and heavy. It was Tony Stark’s annual New Year’s party and it had never failed to thrive, if anything each year the crowd grew. But Bucky didn’t mind. Not when he’s had you on his arm for the last three parties to make them more tolerable.

Currently, Bucky sat at the bar, nursing his glass of bourbon as he watched you mingle. A small smile on his face as he took in your beauty, wondering how he got so lucky to have someone like you as a lover. Truthfully, he’d never imagined finding happiness, not after all that happened with Hydra. He always thought he was too fucked up to love and to be loved and yet, you loved him for every part of him. The good and the bad.

The presence of someone standing besides Bucky pulled him from his thoughts of you, “You seem happy now.” The voice spoke softly.

Bucky kept his eyes on you and nodded, “I am..”

Nat pauses for a moment as she sips her drink before turning her attention towards you as well. She thought about her next words carefully, knowing that what she was about to say, what she was about to do was completely wrong, but she couldn’t help herself, “....Do you think you ever could’ve loved me the way you love her?”

This time it was Bucky that paused, wondering why now of all time would Natasha ask him this, When he was finally happy, in love and carefree, but nonetheless did he answer, “...I tried to, but you didn’t let me.” He answered honestly, turning his attention away from you and towards the redhead in front of him.

She fought the smile that threatened to appear on her face, finally meeting Bucky’s gaze, “Things were different back then Barnes. I was a Widow and you were my Winter Soldier trainer.”

“Times might’ve been different back then, but my feelings were real Nat, regardless.” Bucky admitted.

This wasn’t right, Nat shouldn’t be doing this. You were her best friend, hell she’s the one who introduced you to Bucky. But, if she was being honest with herself, in her whole life, the only good thing she had was Bucky and she couldn’t help but wonder if her time had expired, “And–what about now?”

Time seemed to slow as her heart beated out of her chest as the two started longingly into each other’s eyes. It was wrong, it was wrong beyond all levels, but they just couldn’t help themselves as they quickly slipped out the backdoor of the party.

♡♡♡♡

His words ricocheted through your brain as he came clean about history with Nat then told you the truth about the New Year's party. You were at a loss of words, confused on how he had thoughts of you being the one, yet slept with another woman minutes after those thoughts were formed. The man you had loved for the last three years had happened to be a complete stranger to you. He had cheated on you and proposed out of pity. Out of sometype of way to make him feel less of an asshole. To let you go through with started to plan your wedding whilst he was screwing your best friend.

As for Nat, you couldn’t believe she could betray you like this. You didn’t understand why she never told you about her and Bucky’s relationship and you sure as hell didn’t understand why she’d set you up with him if she knew deep down, her feelings were still there. That one day she’d want to try again with Bucky. But instead, she drew the sharpest knife on planet earth and drove it right through your heart. At a time like this, Nat was supposed to be the one you called. The person to pick up snacks, drive over to your house and let you cry on her shoulders for hours. Nat was supposed to pick you up when you were down, not the one kicking you to the ground.

You sobbed as everything sunk in. You weren’t sure on what to do, how to feel, but you knew one thing for sure. You never wanted to see their faces again, from this every moment, Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff were dead to you.

“Get out.” You cried, shaking your head as you shot up from the couch, rage coursing through your veins, “You’re such a piece of shit! Three years! Three years of my fucking life down the drain because of you!”

“I’m sorry, Y/n, truly. I am.” Bucky tried, watching you pace the room.

A scoff left your mouth, shaking your head, “Is that supposed to make me feel better? An– I'm sorry Y/n?” You mocked him, “You know what, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the fact that I thought you could love someone. Clearly you are more fucked up than I thought you were!” It was a low-blow, you knew that, but you were running off anger. Every vein in your body was burning. Emotions running high as you were crying one minute and laughing like a crazed woman next, “I hate you! I hate you now, I’ll hate you later, I’ll hate you for eternity! You and Nat fucking deserve eachother! Two lowlife scumbags!” You pointed to the door, “Get out! Just get out, get out, get out!”

Finally, Bucky rose from his seat on the couch, slowly making his way to the door but not before stopping to grab his pre-packed bags. He fought the urge to look back at you once more. Dropping his key on the counter, he walked out the door and out of your life forever.

At that moment, your legs gave up on you. You dropped to the ground and continued to cry your life away. Your heart was in more than a million pieces and you had no idea on how you were even to begin on how to piece them back together. Within an hour, your life had changed drastically. The love of your life and your best friend, both gone in one sweep. Now, as you were alone, you felt nothing but sadness. Wondering why this had to happen to you when you had finally gotten to a good place with your life. It was true what they say, with true love comes a painful heartbreak.

You had experienced the amazing highs of a new love blossoming, but now you were facing the death of a relationship.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x yn #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x y/n #marvel fic #bucky barnes au

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year

Text

Tangerine headcanons/ imagines

tangerine x female reader

tw: none! just cute stuff that makes us sad

okay so I love analysing people and ive been in love with him since march/april, so this was a piece of cake- also im obsessive and lonely so was super easy lmfao

these are just things that I think (kinda self indulgent) but if you disagree that’s fine too

princess treatment- he’d treat you like royalty

huge softie at heart

love language wise:

physical touch- I feel like he’s quite handsy, he always has to be touching some part of you

acts of service- he’d always be willing to help you, does things for you. makes you snacks and drinks throughout the day- like if you’re busy, he’d pop in and give you a tray of stuff you may need

quality time- he’d value the time you spent together, even if you weren’t doing an activity together (both in the same space, doing your own things) he’d designate certain days for just you

gift giving- he’d spoil you like crazy, he’d remember certain little things about you and get you a thoughtful gift based off that (like if you mentioned something you wanted to try for just one second midway in a conversation you had months ago, he’d remember it)

words of affirmation- he’d call you tonnes of pet names, I feel like he’d say ‘my’ in front of it to make it more special. he’d tell you he loves you, how special you are and how much he adores you etc

----

hates everyone but you vibes- he’s standoffish to everyone, but when it comes to you he’s the complete opposite; he speaks very soft and kind towards you

he treats you like the most valuable thing on earth

very patient with you

protector x protected energy- he just always wants you safe

nose and forehead kisses

lots of thumb stroking on your cheeks

lots of intense eye contact- he admires your eyes

feel like he’s a hip and thigh kinda man

I feel like you’d be very close to Lemon, and sometimes it’ll wind him up. Lemon would tell you embarrassing stories about Tan- you’d love it while he’d hate it

I get ride or die vibes- kinda like romeo and juliet, just minus all the death

he secretly loves your chick flicks, he pretends he hates them but watches them with you every time

he also pretends he hates when you call him sweet things but he definitely looks away to smile

he’s very slow to warm up, takes a bit of time to crack him open. on the outside he’s a doberman but on inside he’s like a ragdoll

gets a bit possessive, not in a scary way- but I do think that sometimes it could be

feel like he’s the kind that will literally worship you

you clean his cuts and wounds after missions

he runs warm but you run quite cold, so he’s always trying to warm you up

I feel like you’re the first person he’s actually loved romantically

drinks black coffee and ofc tea

definitely a whisky drinker, he loves a good whisky by the fire

I feel like he’s very clean, likes to keep everything organised. maybe a bit of a perfectionist

always smells good

very romantic and extremely charismatic- a natural charmer. funny and lots of inside jokes

he’s a great caretaker- looks after you really well. if you’re ill he’d be with you at all times, not caring if he got sick too. and when it’s your time of the month he’d get you hot water bottles and you’d get lots of back rubs etc

he loves it when you use your fingers to trace over his tattoos, same goes for his chest hair too

also loves when your stroke through his hair

he gets really irritated in hot temperatures- and starts swearing a lot more

I feel like he’s kind of set in his ways about things/ he knows what he likes, and that you help open his mind about trying and doing new things. you help keep things fresh and exciting

some reason I feel like you’d have daddy issues idk why, (sorry if you do, also sorry if you don’t lmao)

he might follow you like a lost puppy, he’d literally do anything you say

you’d be best friends as well as a couple

he’s very reliable and would drop anything for you

if you needed to rant or vent, he’d be there lending you his ear. he’d be an incredible listener

very attentive

feel like he’s a fast driver, but never when you’re in the car

if someone flirts with you or someone was mean to you at work he’d say “where are they? I will fuckin kill em”

private but not secret relationship

definitely a homebody

whenever he goes past the florists or to the shop, he’d always bring some flowers back for you (more often than not- it’ll your favourite type of flower)

leaves you sweet notes around the house

that’s it for now, hope you liked

#bullet train #tangerine #tangerine bullet train #bullet train fanfic #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine fanfiction #aaron taylor johnson #imagines #tangerine headcanon #tangerine imagine

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outofmydepthatapublicbeach · 1 month

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to fall in deeper - Julien Baker x lacy!reader

jj chats: this has been one of the longest things ive written on this account and i am very proud of it!!! i hope this lives up to any expectations!!! also i recommend reading the first part before reading this it is linked here!

word count: almost 2000!!!

warnings: RPF, use of y/n, reader is a musician/famous, julien is kinda mean, someone passes out (not the reader, the boys or muna), reader calls julien 'jay'.

inspired by the request: i lovvved your love Julien fic based on lacy SO much!!! you’re crazy talented <3 would you consider writing more parts of it? 🎀🩷 like maybe how julien falls more and more in love and maybe an eventual angry love confession from julien, and their first date/kiss?

feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!

When MUNA went on tour, they asked their dear friends to perform as openers. It was on billboards and spread across social media: “Boygenius and (Y/N): openers for The Greatest Band in the World”. All parties were ebullient, another few months of music, laughter, and fun. Everyone except Julien Baker, Julien wasn’t pleased when she found out you were the other opener. She despised the feeling she got in her gut when your name was mentioned, she couldn’t decide what it meant. She was torn between it being contempt or admiration. She didn’t like not knowing, she didn’t like the fact she couldn’t figure you out, let alone figure out her own feelings for you.

So far the tour had been faring well. There were huge crowds showing up every night, all screaming out the lyrics to their favorite MUNA hits. Everything was going well, until August 6th, a Friday night. It was exceptionally hot and it was starting to take a toll on the musicians. However they were all pushing through, they had loud fans backstage that gave them some relief from the heat and could basically get away with no shirt on stage. So far, the night was going well, besides the heat. Lucy and Julien sat in front of a large fan, while Phoebe and you stood in front of another one. MUNA was performing on stage, while you all waited until the last song, “Silk Chiffon” . It was always a nice surprise to the fans when you four came bobbing up on stage singing along, dancing with one another.

Phoebe sighed, turning towards you “Want to go back with me to get some water?”

Your eyes darted to the right, where your water bottle stood proud and tall, still about half full. “No Pheobs I’m okay! I’ll walk with you though!”

“Oh no dude you’re good,” The platinum blond turned to Lucy and proposed the same question.

“Yeah my water ran out like 5 minutes ago,” Lucy hopped up from her seat, moving towards an already upright Phoebe who was wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, sweat droplets rolling off. “Be right back guys!”

Before they turned the corner you checked the time and yelled to the singers “I think there's only two more songs till Silk Chiffon so hurry!” Lucy and Phoebe nodded to you and continued their walk to wherever they were storing the water bottles. Out of the corner of your eye you spotted Julien rolling her eyes.

You turned your body to hers, you ignored her obvious irritation towards you and smiling you asked, “You good Julien? I got some water if you need it!”

“Yeah I’m fine. Thanks.” The tattooed woman replied, curtly.

“Ohhhkay,” you said, confused by her tone. You thought for a minute going back over the day to see if you did anything that would warrant that reaction. You couldn’t find anything, but you did remember how Julien really hadn’t ever been that cordial to you, not since that night outside the restaurant where she found you crying. In a moment of panic you asked the woman sitting 5 feet from you, “Did I do something?”

Julien turned towards you, obviously dumbstruck by your question. She hesitated before responding, you could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes, “No, you didn’t do anything.”

Quickly you replied, desperate to figure out where you went wrong. “You act weird around me.”

You could see a flash of panic move over Julien;s face before it was replaced with a look of annoyance. “How do I act weird around you?” Julien asked as if it was the most absurd sentence you could have chosen to have said.

“You don’t talk to me ever, you avoid me, you don’t reply to my texts in the groupchat. Yesterday on stage you avoided me every chance you got. I get that we aren’t really close but do you have to pretend like I’m not even there? Like I don’t even matter?” Your voice started to strain towards the end of your dialogue, you could feel your eyes start to water.

“I-I don’t-”

Julien was cut off by a very energetic Phoebe who came skipping backstage. “We’re on stage in like a minute guys! Grab your mics!”

You quickly got up, blinking back your tears as you approached a table, grabbing a mic. You settled your breathing as Lucy came up to you. “You okay?” She asked, voice laced with worry.

“Mhm! I’m fine! I think the heat is just getting to me!” You replied, your voice steady. You’re honestly surprised at how fast you pulled yourself together.

MUNA was on stage finishing up their second to last song for the night when Katie yelled into her microphone, “Thank you all for such a gorgeous night! We have one last song! Can you all welcome our guests to the stage please?” The crowd begins to go crazy.

One by one the 4 of you run out on stage as the band starts playing “Silk Chiffon”. Your eyes scan over the crowd, everyone is having an amazing time, they all look tired, but in a euphoric concert driven tiredness. Until you spot one girl near the front of the barricade. She looks as if she's about to pass out, and the people around her don’t seem to notice. You brush it off, but decide to keep an eye on her just in case something happens.

As the band starts to play the music fills your body, heating your veins with electricity. You move the mic to your mouth as you sing background for Katie. This was always one of your favorite parts of the show, the harmony between all of your voices, the feeling of being alive and showing it through music. Phoebe rushes up to you and grabs your wrist, twirling you around and smiling wide at you. She leans in and gives you a kiss on your cheek before your bodies find natural sync, dancing together. Everything always gets too chaotic when the 7 of you are all on stage. AS your eyes move from Phoebes to the rest of the talent on stage you spot Julien glaring at you, your cheeks redden and you can’t distinguish whether it's from the heat or the shorter woman's dangerous stare.

Suddenly you remember that girl in the audience and when you look back to her place, you see her almost going limp, merely held up by the sweating bodies around her. Immediately your mind moves fast, remembering your highschool first aid lessons on heat stroke. Your brain quickly runs down her obvious symptoms and realizes it could be severe dehydration or worse, heat stroke. You quickly let go of Phoebe's arm and run backstage to grab a water bottle and someone to help you.

Phoebe is confused, her eyes follow you backstage until she sees you grab a bottle of water. Too caught up in the moment she thinks you need a drink. She assumes nothing is wrong and then goes over to Jo to dance with her. The others don't realize your absence, too caught up in the song. Except Julien.

Julien was keeping a close eye on you when you were on stage, she saw every time you glanced at that specific spot in the barricade. Though she didn’t follow you, not until you suddenly appeared on the lawn in front of the stage with a medical professional and a security guard.

You run to the dehydrated woman and then help her get to a cooler spot, and give her small sips of water to hydrate her. You couldn’t care less about the concert at that point, too concentrated on making sure this person was alright.

Julien’s stomach started to churn, once again you were proving to her that you were perfect. There wasn’t anything Julien could flaw you on at this point. You stopped singing in the middle of a concert to go and take care of someone in need. How could she avoid her true feelings now?

The song came to a close, and the bands lined up, wrapping their arms around each other's waists and bowing. Naomi, Jo and Katie blew kisses to the crowd and then they all walked offstage, a concert well performed.

As Phoebe looked backstage she didn’t see you. She turned to the group and asked, “Did anyone see where (Y/N) went?”

It came as a surprise to everyone when Julien answered, “They went to help someone in the audience, I saw them with medical.”

Everyone nodded, Jo hoped the person was okay. Katie and Naomi went to ask someone about what had happened. It wasn’t soon after that you showed up.

Walking back to where you had just appeared from, Naomi and Katie both asked you “What happened?”

You told them that “Some girl in the barricade got really dehydrated and passed out, but she’s alright now!”

A sigh of relief was heard from all 6 people, relieved that everyone was okay. Small chit chat was made until Jo spoke up “Okay I don’t know about you guys but it is hot as hell out here and I am going somewhere with air conditioning!”

“Finally someone said it!”

“Thank god I was starting to think I’d melt,”

Naomi, Katie, Lucy, and Phoebe dispersed after Jo, all talking about some record they’d listened to recently or where to get takeout from.

Julien stayed behind, and just as you were about to follow after the others she caught your arm. You turned towards her, “What’s up Jay?” The nickname leaves your lips in a second before you could think to not say it.

Julien looked at you strangely and let go of your arm, not really realizing she had grabbed it in the first place. Another round of butterflies flew through her body as you looked at her questioningly.. “That was super cool what you did for that girl. Leaving mid song I mean.”

You sighed, you were starting to get frustrated with her antics. Did she loathe you? Were you two friends? It seemed every other minute her feelings towards you changed. It was confusing the hell out of you. “Thanks.” You clipped, starting to walk away.

“That’s it?” Julien asked from behind you.

As you turned back around you noticed she stood as if trying to make her 5 foot frame seem taller, not that it was working. “What?”

“‘Thanks.’ That’s all you're gonna say? Normally you're much more chatty,” Julien laughed.

“I don’t know what you want from me Julien.”

Julien pauses, looking at you with questions written all over her face.

“When I talk to you, you get snippy and you’re mean. When I don’t talk to you, you want me to talk more. I don’t get what your deal is with me?” You whisper-yelled, afraid someone from the crew would see your argument.

“I-” Julien stuttered, not being able to come up with anything to say.

Finally done with the back and forth banter that has been hurting your feelings ever since you met Julien you declared, “If you don’t want to be my friend just say it.”

Julien looked at you, eyes wide. You watched her as the gears turned in her head, trying to come up with what to say. You gave her a chance to explain herself, you set a mental timer of 30 seconds, if she didn’t say anything then you would go away.

Those 30 seconds flew by without a peep from Julien, your eyes teared up as you spoke, “Fine, I’ll see you later I guess.” Turning around you went to your tour bus, wondering what you did to get Julien to dislike you so.

The only thing going through Julien’s mind was how she screwed up, bad.

#julien baker x reader #boygenius x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker fluff #jj writes #julien baker one shot #julien baker au #julien baker x singer!reader #julien baker x lacy!reader #muna x reader #julien baker angst

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anzulvr · 4 months

Note

hii could i please request a little hurt/comfort drabble where reader feels sad during christmas season but forces herself to at least pretend to be happy because karma’s birthday is on christmas day :( but karma notices how her smile doesn’t meet her eyes and stuff and asks reader about it!

Summary: You’re sad on Christmas, Karma x reader (except it’s his birthday.) hurt/comfort GN!reader HUGE SPOILER WARNING FOR ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM

(this is so cute I LOVE THIS REQUEST thank u! Had this in my drafts for a while but waited for Christmas to post)

It had been two years since everything ended. Two years since Korosensei died and all of End class were labeled as victims with some weird-Stockholm attachment to the monster who blew up the moon.

It was strange, seeing everyone care about you when you didn’t need it and remembering how low they thought of you when you were only the reject class of kunugigaoka.

A lot happened in two years, not a long time but considering how quickly everything was moving you hadn’t had time to catch up. Like any special day Christmas wasn’t a good time anymore- something your classmates agreed on. With the impact Korosensei had on your lives it was impossible to celebrate anything without wondering what would have been if you managed to save him. That was only wishful thinking, you couldn’t change the past.

Regardless, today you tried to keep a smile on your face. It was the most important time of the year, Karmas birthday- and Christmas too.

You stared at your poor attempt to decorate the cake you baked with Karma, the frosting written birthday note was almost illegible.

“What’s with the look, you’re writing isn’t that bad.”

You looked up after hearing Karmas voice as if you were pulled out of a trance.

“What look? I know it’s not that bad I was admiring our hard work.”

“More like my hard work, you kept dropping everything! Seriously though, what’s wrong? The whole day I’ve been catching you teary eyed.”

You turned your back to the counter to face him as you set the frosting bag down “I’m fine, today’s your day I’m not going to bother you with my problems. You should enjoy everything to its fullest.”

“I’m not going to enjoy anything if you’re not happy, ‘m not budging tell me why you’re upset.”

Karma was stubborn, you knew him well enough to realized this wasn’t negotiable.

“I don’t know… I was just thinking about how Korosensei can’t spend Christmas with us, and he can’t be here for your birthday. Ever since we killed him, Ive felt so helpless.”

He nodded slowly breaking eye contact for a second, “my parents haven’t answered my call today, they’re in Italy right now, all I got was a text saying they were busy and that they’d talk later. I know they haven’t forgotten, it’s kind of impossible when it’s Christmas but still- I hoped they would have time for me today, I know they have more important things to do but It made me think about how Korosensei would’ve been here.”

you nodded in response, “they could still call the days not over… and if they don’t they’ll try to make it up to you…” You could bet they wouldn’t call until the next day but you wanted to reassure him, there wasn’t a lot you could say in this situation that would make him feel better.

“It’s fine, you’re here- and you’re the best company, I had fun today. I just meant Korosensei has done a lot for us he’s proud we pulled that off, he wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up over it.”

“I know you’re right, still I wish I could’ve done more, we should’ve tried harder to save him.”

“We did what we had to. I miss him too, there’s a lot of things I could never repay Korosensei for—”

“Like getting you through senioritis? Or always bringing money in his wallet even though he knew you’d steal it?”

“I meant setting us up together, but sure those were good too.” Karma smiles breaking tenseness of the conversation for moment, “at the time I thought he was being a hassle but without him im not sure id have you right now.”

Suddenly you felt shy laughing it off and covering your face for a moment while you composed yourself, “Yeah he did push for us a lot but I was obsessed with you for before we even ended up in 3-E so you would’ve had me regardless.”

“Yeah? Tell me more.”

“No way in hell, I don’t trust you to not make fun of me. Anyways I didn’t mean to bring up something depressing, we should be smearing cake all over your face right now.”

“Try all you want but it isn’t possible to mess up my face.”

“Wanna bet?” You shake the smile off your face.

“See that’s more I like it, we can enjoy our ugly cake now. And more importantly you can open your gift.”

“What do you mean my gift? It’s your birthday you’re not supposed to buy me stuff!”

“It’s also Christmas … I couldn’t help myself I really wanted to get you something.”

“But now I’m worried my gift won’t live up to yours!”

“[Name] you could give me rocks for all I care and I’d keep them in a safe with multiple locks.”

You gently shoved his shoulder suppressing your laughter, you leaned in to kiss him.

It was impossible to not feel better with him around. This morning you had woken up wishing time could stop for a moment and you ended the day hoping for the same thing but for a completely different reason.

#ansatsu kyoushitsu #karma akabane #karma x reader #assassination classroom x reader #karma akabane x reader #akabane karma x reader #karma akabane headcannons #assasination classroom #assassination classroom #assclass #karma x you

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y3nze1 · 2 months

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𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐌𝐄 𝐀 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍 | c.3

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: I / II / III / IV / V / VI

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Happy Readings!

"Y/n!~" Loralie called out. purse in hand, she ran towards you, happily approaching, clearly there was an interesting news that she couldn't keep to herself with that kind of energy. "Y/n..!" you cut her off for a moment. "Loralie, if it's a party, i swear i am not willing to hook myself on some hooch, you know tha-" she pressed a finger on your lips. "Shush, this is most likely the party of the century, Y/n!"

You let out a soft chuckle. "You always say that.. and you know my answer. as always.. it's a n-" she cut you off again. With that, you rolled your eyes. "I already bought you an outfit. stop yappin, take a bath. get yourself ready for tonight, so we are gonna cut a rug as i say so!" she exclaimed. crossing your arms as you responded with a sigh.

You could see the excitement on Loralie's face as she spoke of the upcoming party. You couldn't help but feel a little intrigued, wondering what could be in store for the night. Not wanting to disappoint ger, you nodded along, doing as she wanted. "Alright, alright," you said with a groan, giving in to her enthusiasm. "I'll get cleaned up and get ready."

Loralie beamed at you, clearly pleased with your response. She took your hand and led you into the bathroom, helping you with your bath preparations. "Darlin, We gotta make sure you shine, you dazzle, and hotsy totsy!~" she ran the bath, pouring in the things needed to make it purely bubble. As you bathed, you couldn't help but wonder about the mystery event that Loralie had planned for the night. You weren't sure what to expect from then on.

Patted dry, you followed along behind her as she pulled your hand out the bathroom. giggling to herself. "Alright Darlin.. don't you worry. i am goin to make ya' stunnin." she softly gazed at you. sitting you down by the vanity mirror. drying down your hair.

For the next few hours. you spent the day getting ready. a light blush on your cheek, just the right amount of soft mascara. and a beautiful shade of red lipstick, of course. you weren't keen on using makeup, but my goodness, did you look like a shining star for the evening. coming to dazzle upon everyone just once for a span of thousands of years.

As you finished getting ready, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building inside you. Everything was just perfect - the dress, the makeup, the hair... you felt like a princess, like a star, ready to take on the world. And with Loralie by your side, you felt like anything was possible.

Loralie looked just as excited as you were, and as you stood up from the vanity, she handed you a gift-wrapped box. "Well, I might as well give you your present early.." she said with a smile, handing you the box. You opened it up, revealing a beautiful necklace - a silver chain with a beautiful blue jewel at the center. It was the perfect finishing touch to your outfit.

As you put on the necklace, Loralie took your head to the mirror. smiling softly, "Look at that darlin.. do you know what i see?.." you paused for a moment, taking a good look at yourself. "i see beautiful, dashing, wonderful woman.." she sighed, pure satisfied. "oh my, you're there too!" she let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes in annoyance. "oh I'm just teasing, Y/n.. Don't be such a bearcat!~"

Loralie took your hand and led you out of the room, down the stairs and out the door. You stood outside, feeling the cool air on your skin and feeling overwhelmed by the excitement. Loralie ushered you into a waiting car, and soon you were on your way to the mysterious party that Loralie had been planning. The ride was full of anticipation - you had no idea what to expect, but you knew that whatever it was, it was going to be a night to remember.

As the car pulled up to the venue, you could see that it was a sprawling estate, lit up with countless lights and surrounded by an intricate garden. Loralie hopped out of the car and you followed, feeling your heart pound as you approached the front door.

You took a deep breath, ready to face whatever the night had in store. With Loralie by your side, you felt like you could take on the world.

The party was unlike anything you had ever seen. The estate was teeming with people dressed to the nines, sipping on champagne and cocktails, and dancing to the music of a live band. The atmosphere was electric, and you found yourself being drawn into the excitement.

As Loralie pulled you along, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and majesty. The venues, the attire, the people; everything was so elegant and refined. It was a world completely different from the one you were used to.

As you made your way through the crowd, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder and amazement. The venue was a testament to human ingenuity and creativity, and you found yourself lost in the excitement and beauty of it all. But despite the grandeur and majesty, there was also a sense of warmth and community. The crowd was filled with people of all ages, nationalities, and backgrounds, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and having a good time. It was a truly international scene.

And through it all, Loralie was by your side. She helped you navigate the crowd and introduced you to various people, helping you make connections and network. The night was full of possibilities and opportunities, and you found yourself feeling more confident and empowered than ever before. As the night wore on, the party only became more and more lively. The music grew louder, the drinks flowed freely, and the dancing grew more wild and frenetic. You couldn't help but feel a sense of freedom and joy, as if you were part of something bigger than yourself.

For a moment you stopped, you stood by the middle of the crowd, catching the look of a young man, staring back at you. The moment felt like a stop motion, You felt a flutter in your chest, that familiar feeling that came over you, nervous, you looked away instead. You looked around the crowd, scanning for Loralie. She was still talking to an array of people, but she caught your glance and motioned for you to come over. You cut through the crowd, avoiding people's drinks and plates with ease, but then you felt someone bumping into you. Before you could turn around to apologize, a soft voice sounded in your ear.

"Watch your step, my dear. You wouldn't want to trip and fall, now do you?" That voice, that particular voice, The voice was deep and melodic, and a pair of warm, brown eyes met yours. You felt like time had stopped on you again, the music was faded and the only thing you could hear was his voice. Finally after a good while of staring, you brushed your shoulders gently and nervously.

"Oh," your voice sounded small and shy compared to his, "no.. no, i-i'm sorry, i didn't look at my surroundings that well." He chuckled, and you felt your heart fluttering. "Well, better watch out next time, my dear." He held out his hand, looking at you deeply, "I'm Alastor, Alastor Altruist."

No, is this actually real? you really are talking to him, face to face. Alastor, the radio man, Your fingers gently wrapped around his, and you smiled shyly, "Pleasure to meet you, Alastor, I'm Y/n, Y/n L/n". Your voice sounded weak, but your smile was bright.

He looked into your eyes, and he leaned in slightly, he out his hand once more, muttering. "would you like to have a dance with me, Ms. Y/n?". You were still processing what was happening when you both started walking towards the center of the floor. Alastor held your hand and his other hand wrapped around your waist as he leaned in closer to you.

The song playing was slow and romantic, and as you both started to sway in time to the beat, you felt a strange sense of calm and serenity wash over you. You couldn't help but notice the way Alastor looked at you - his eyes seemed to pierce right through you. "Your voice, it seems so familiar to me." he whispered, you kept your mouth shut at the moment. not daring to talk back. instead you continued to dance with him. utterly silent. basking in each one's gaze.

You felt like you were the only two people in existence, lost in a world of your own. You closed your eyes and lost yourself in the moment, oblivious to anything else around you. For that brief moment in time, you were perfectly content, perfectly happy. But as the song came to an end, you were suddenly snapped back to reality by the loud applause and cheers of those around you.

You smiled at the sudden outburst of the crowd, giggling. Alastor, turned to you. "Would you like to get a Wiggle on with me? a stroll by the garden nearby, per say?" in response, you nodded. he pulled your hand, leading you through the crowd as you two giggled. You followed Alastor through the large crowded party, the smell of food and alcohol filling the air as you navigated towards the garden. The night air was cool and refreshing, and the sound of the party began to fade into the distance.

As Alastor led you onto a small footpath, you began to notice the beauty of the dark night sky, illuminated by the lights of the city below. The sky was so clear that you could make out the shapes of the galaxies, and the stars seemed so close you felt like you could reach out and touch them.

"Oh, this is quite the view, isn't it?" Alastor said as he sat down on the bench, "I never get tired of this place, it's so peaceful." He pulled a cigarette case out of his pocket, "Do you want a butt, my dear?" he offered one to you. You shook your head no, not staring blankly at the sky.

For a second, you looked down. staring at your feet. "I've heard your radio podcast before." he looked at you, his smile widened. "really?.. then you must also know this frequent requestor of mine, have you?" He's mentioning you. you only nodded back in response. "For a listener, I've never been this.. smitten with this particular girl before. she'd call almost everyday, requesting me songs, non-stop. and.. every time, I'd pick up my telephone. i find myself hoping, she's on the other line."

He paused. looking at you. "I'm rambling, aren't i?" You felt yourself blushing slightly as Alastor continued to speak about you. He was right, you had been obsessed with his radio show for as long as you could remember. You listened to every episode, waiting for your turn to call and request a song.

And now, here you were, sitting next to him, listening to him talk about you. It felt like a dream, like something that could never really be. You smiled wide, feeling your heart race in your chest. "No, no, please continue," you said, your voice soft and barely above a whisper, "I.. i love hearing you talk" then you realized what you said. you let out a cough. "i-i.. mean about.. her, i like hearing.. umm.. you talk about her." He laughed at your attempt, finding it quite endearing. "it's fine, i don't mind. it's nice to meet someone who's very interested in you" You breathed a sigh of relief as Alastor laughed, finding it quite endearing. You were relieved that he didn't think you were weird for accidentally saying that you loved hearing him talk. You felt your face turn bright red, but you couldn't help but smile.

"It's nice to meet someone who's so interested in me too," you said, trying to keep your voice steady, You laughed as well, feeling more at ease. You knew that you were probably coming across as a total loser, but you couldn't help it. Being around Alastor made you feel a way that you couldn't even begin to describe. You felt like you could talk to him forever and never get bored. "You've mentioned this caller of yours. and.. you've striked me curious. She sounds to be quiet.. delightful, in your perspective.. i-i just wanna know.. what would you say to her if.. she were hear, the one listening.. to you."

Alastor paused for a moment, considering your question. "Well, I suppose I would tell her how much her calls mean to me.. And how much I look forward to each and every one.. every single song requests of her" He looked down at you, his face serious. "I would tell her that she's a source of inspiration.. at least.. my inspiration, that she makes me feel like I'm not just a radio host, but something more." He looked back at the sky, breathing in deeply. "I would tell her that she's the most special girl in the world, and that I'm glad i had the chance to even cross my god forsaken path with hers.."

You fell silent, turning to look at him. "So.. what's her name?" you stared at him. he smiled, looking up to the night sky.

"Daisy, My lovely, Darling, Daisy.."

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin #alastor altruist #human!alastor x reader #human!alastor #Human!alastor x you #radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #1920s

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moonchildstyles · 9 months

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announcement/sneak peek

ahhhhhhhhh I'm so excited to be announcing another series for you guys! imdoing this a little different in that im not quite as far written out this time as I usually am but that does open up the possibility of you guys kind of helping me mold and shape some of this story! there might be moments where something you might message me or comment that could inspire something for an upcoming part! while im a little nervous that im not as preplanned out as usual, these possibilities make me so excited!

but anywayyyyyy starting August 18th I'll start posting the new series here on Tumblr! im still working on naming it so shfhusfhsuhf but its a bodyguard h fic! y/n is a tabloid bunny/socialite who's father believes she needs more guidance in the form of a security detail and harry has been tasked w the job! I also have a Pinterest board up for it that you can take a look at if you want to get an idea of what I have in store and what kind of characters we have! below I have a sneak peek for you guys!

On my patreon rn though, there is an extended sneak peek up and the new series will begin being posted next Friday, August 5th! they will be getting early access of 2 weeks before Tumblr and will get the first chance to help me plan some of the unfinished parts of the story! if you're at all interested in taking a look at the story a bit early or what to get involved some, pleaseeeee WAIT to sign up for patreon until august 1st! that way, it'll keep you from getting charged back to back right away!

super excited to be posting this as this is the most ive posted series wise like ever so thank you guys for taking the time to read nad be supportive and yeah! thank you!

lmk if you have any questions or anything!!

—————

"Remember when we decided you wanted extra guidance, (Y/N)?" her dad asked, bleached white smile on his face, "After everything with Damien recently?"

Ice touched her spine as she took in his sticky sweet words. She knew where this meeting was going now.

As much as he tried to hide behind the "we" words and his fake smile, (Y/N) knew this wasn't some investor sitting beside her now.

Harry was her new cage.

"I remember," she offered, her own voice sounding far away.

"Well," he continued with a flourish leaning over his desk with his elbowed propped on the wood, "Harry, here, is that guidance we were looking for. He used to work for Camila and Monroe as their head of security, but he's agreed to be your personal bodyguard until you're back on track." He looked too proud of himself as he spoke. "He's going to take good care of you, sweetie."

Bodyguard.

Her personal bodyguard.

When her father pitched this whole idea and sent her to her room like a child, she honestly figured it would be another handler he would find for her. While it wasn't ideal, she knew she could deal with a handler. She could deal with an uppity woman bossing her around from a distance; she could deal with painting a facade and adhering to her father's guidelines through a handler.

But, a bodyguard—or personal security, as he so delicately put it—was a different story.

Harry would be tasked with following her everywhere. He'd have access to her home, access to the person she was around her friends, who she was around her father. Downtime would no longer be a thing with Harry around—recovery and privacy being thrown out.

Francesca had a bodyguard when they were teenagers. Though it was only over the summers when they weren't away at school, those months he was present were... odd to (Y/N). He wasn't a mean man, but he was always there. Franny wasn't as bothered as she was, but (Y/N) felt like there was no privacy—no space to talk to her best friend about anything. He was always there listening, watching, and anticipating any need for protection. She felt exposed in his presence, no secrets truly secret or downtime when someone constantly had eyes on them.

If this arrangement was anything like that, (Y/N) didn't know if her sanity was going to survive these months.

Despite her insides beginning to churn, her glossy-lipped smile stayed in tact with stiff cheeks. "Wow! That's amazing!"

Her performance must have been subpar if the way her father flashed his gaze at her, a glance that hardened a little too much. She needed to be trying harder, was what he was telling her. She wasn't being perfect like he wanted.

"I've already warned him about your history of outbursts," her father said, a stealthy jab at her, "and, we discussed everything with Damien. I think he's up for the challenge."

It was an interesting feeling being called a "challenge" by her own father, knowing he must have shared much more degrading comments behind he back disguised as warranted advice. It was all preparation, he probably thought. A proper warning.

She shoved that feeling down—whatever that feeling was called—and instead focused n her role. As long as she bubbled, chirped, and smiled, she could get out of this room sooner rather than later.

"Good," she said, a breathy laugh floating out with her voice, "I'll try not to give you any surprises, then." Looking to Harry, she leaned into her persona and played along. He didn't glance at her once, keeping his gaze forward on her father as if he were watching a movie.

"There won't be any surprises, actually, right (Y/N)?" her father said, a tad too sharp under his act.

"Right," she settled, calming under the weight of the room.

Silence settled over, neither she nor her father plucking up the words while Harry stayed an observing pillar.

This was her opening. If she acted fast, she could get out of here before either of them could stop her.

"It was really nice to meet you, Harry," she said politely, her fingers curling around the arms of her chair, "Thank you for coming to work with us. I actually have early breakfast plans with Fran tomorrow morning back in the city, so I should probably start hea—"

"Actually," her father cut her off sharply, his eyes hardening as they landed on her, "I was hoping you would stay for dinner tonight, sweetie. After Harry and I finish ironing out his contract, I wanted to talk to you some more before he officially started with you."

Instinctively, she wanted to fight him on this. Spending another night here less than a month after the last time she had a breakdown here wasn't on the top of her list of wants, currently. But, knowing there was someone here already expecting the worst from her, forced her to settle. If she talked back it would only reinforce everything her father probably spouted off about her earlier.

"Okay," she smiled, standing to her feet before inching towards he door, "I'll wait in my room then and give you guys some privacy."

While her father offered a small dismissal to her in the form of a stuff smile and a promise to call her for dinner, Harry didn't bother to look twice at her. She didn't waste a moment before she was rushing back to her room. She didn't care if they could hear the pacing of her heels over the floors, knowing she was all but running away from that room.

After twisting the lock on her bedroom door, (Y/N) collapsed onto her bed. Her breathing was uneven, chest rising and falling a little too fast for her head to stay clear. Pinpricks of static began to dance on her palms, fingertips beginning to go numb. A hole began to develop in the pit of her stomach.

This might be one of the last real moments of alone time for the next couple of months, and she was spending it on the verge of a panic attack.

(Y/N) knew her dad didn't trust her, but to have someone on his payroll who's only purpose was to follow her around stung more than she was willing to admit. She wasn't a stupid child despite how much he wanted to believe that.

#other #mine.#harry #harry styles #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing

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yonpote · 3 months

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Honestly so relieved with the charity they picked. As an adult I spent a lot of time trying to not seek out validation for my political/social opinions from celebrities but I am so glad they're doing this. I don't mind him being apolitical online but it's nice to see he's doing this because it's important

yeah i think phil has always been good about this even tho sure hes not as vocal about his politics as dan can be. i was talking to some friends and i misremembered phil posting a black square on ig during the BLM protests for george floyd (which if u dont remember was just the absolute laziest form of performative activism) but they quickly corrected me that he actually posted a graphic that said Black lives matter and had a handful of resources in support of the movement and didnt tag it was blacksquare or anything like that and imo very clearly wasnt doing that for clout

i'll be real i was growing a little frustrated hearing about people who were really begging them to speak up about this, and i can understand feeling disappointed when your favs dont speak up about something important but ultimately sometimes thats a thing you just have to let go. and like this point is moot now because they are speaking up and supporting the pcrf and everything! i remember when people hounded dan for tweeting about a ceasefire? as in pro-palestine ppl getting angry with the way he worded his tweet? and like. idk i get it sometimes dan doesnt perfectly phrase things but like WE KNOW he has his heart in the right place so like what's the point in getting upset about the particulars of his choice of words.in general internet culture is so much about semantics and wording things rather than about actions and intent and impact on the world.

and its also very much a parasocial thing to where like, i think for ME bc ive figured out a healthier way to interact with my favs. i know how to separate them from me as a person so like, dnp's actions and statements don't say anything about me as a person or any of their fans. and i mean that's been proven with like, on twitter theres like all these fanartists doing incentives for ppl to donate for fanart and thats like so cool and like didnt need to be sanctioned by dnp or anything it was just something a bunch of people decided together ykwim?

#myrambles #anyway point is i agree im very happy they are doing this!

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petertingle-yipyip · 10 months

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RECKLESS DRIVING - MATT MURDOCK

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 3,820

Summary: (requested) Hello, I have a Matt X wife reader request. You had a serious accident and all your memories after the collage are lost. In the hospital you are frightened by Matt , who is shocked and desperate at the same time. Matt tries to tell you that he is your husband and that you love him, but you can't remember. Matt tries everything to get your memory back and fall in love with him again. In the beginning, you distance yourself and live with your brother Frank Castle, who helps Matt get you back together.

The lights were bright when you first opened your eyes. You couldn’t remember anything. Clearly you were in a hospital, but which one? Your entire body ached and you could hear the beeping of the machines, felt the sticky residue from the sensors attached to your chest, but what happened? You heard voices through the small crack in the door, but who were they?

You looked around the room confused and saw the name on the chart near the door. You wobbled to your feet, head spinning once you sat up, and inched your way across the room.

Y/N MURDOCK.

Wait, Murdock?

That didn’t feel right. Wasn’t that the asshole from college that was always taking your favorite study corner?

You pulled the folder and plopped it open on the nearby counter so you could lean on your elbows. You skimmed the page, noting the various injuries.

Mild whiplash. Rib contusions, hairline fractures on left 3-5 ribs. Dislocated shoulder that was reinserted. Bruising all along the left side and uncertain risk of brain injury. Concussion likely.

None of that explained why your name was wrong.

The door suddenly opened at your side and you were quick to shut the folder. You turned and leaned backwards on the counter, earning a small sigh and smile from your doctor. He offered you his arm and walked you back to the bed, ensuring you were set before he spoke.

“I’m Dr. James Wilson.” He said kindly.

“Y/N.” You answered and he laughed. “How bad?”

“Well, you’ve already looked over the chart so you have a general idea.” He picked up the folder and gave it a small shake. “Do you remember what happened?”

“No… I remember I had just got picked up by the taxi and then.. Then nothing.”

He sighed slightly and took a tentative step closer.

“This is what we were worried about.” He said regretfully.

“Trauma-induced retrograde amnesia.” You finished and his brows raised. “I was in a pre-med allied health program.”

“Well, good thing is we’ve already gotten in touch with both of your emergency contacts. They’ll be here shortly.”

“I’m sorry. Both?” Your head cocked and it made your neck ache.

“Yes, uh..” He flipped open the file. “Your brother and your husband.”

“Have I been here before? Is that how there’s contacts already?”

“Few years ago, you were admitted with a pretty severe upper respiratory infection while in the area.”

“Right, right…” You glanced around the room. “So this has to be Princeton-Plainsboro?”

Dr. Wilson nodded and pulled the chair near your IV line closer. “What else do you remember about this place, Y/N?”

“You’re in oncology.. Head of the department, I think. Yeah, I remember doing some undergrad research with you.”

“What was your topic?”

“The influence of a moderate exercise program on quality of life for leukemia patients post allogeneic bone marrow transplant… Dr. House said my system was “moronic and no self-respecting med student would present their research that way”. “

“This is really great, Y/N.” He smiled and stood to leave. “I’m going to bring this to House and his team. Dr. Foreman will likely come in soon, look for neurological problems and we’ll talk about your discharge from there.”

“Wait.” You went to get off the bed but lost your balance. You ended up falling back onto the mattress. “When they get here, I just want to see my brother.”

“I’ll let the nurses know.”

The next time you woke up, Drs Cameron and Foreman were bringing your brother in to see you. He gave you a bit of grief for making him speed down the highway to New Jersey, of all places. You apologized profusely, admitting you didn’t even remember why you were going to Jersey to begin with. Ultimately, he was just relieved you were alive.

“Y/N, based off what Dr. Wilson has told us, it seems only emotional memories have been impacted.” Dr. Foreman explained carefully,

“How does that happen?” Your brows furrowed.

“Well the brain is a tricky thing. It seems there’s a disconnect between the long term memory system and the emotional control center. It’s likely just due to the swelling, but we would like a few tests to make sure there’s nothing serious.”

“Okay.” You nodded. “Yeah, is there like a consent form I-“ You tried when you heard the loud voice and rhythmic tapping coming down the hall. You shifted on the bed and the sounds drew everyone else’s attention as well. “A consent form I need to sign? Or is verbal okay?” You tried to keep going past the sounds outside your door.

“Verbal is fine.”

“Then, yeah. I’m guessing CT and MRI?”

“For starters. And then if we need to keep going, we’ll talk about it.”

“Oh, thank god.” He said in clear relief as he burst through the door, white cane in hand and round glasses on his face. “How you feeling, Sweetheart?”

“Uh…” You trailed off carefully.

“Do you know this man?” Dr. Cameron asked carefully when she saw your hesitation.

“Um..”

“Y/N?” He asked, clearly upset by your lack of a reaction.

“Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to-“ Cameron tried, gently attempting to escort him out but he yanked his arms away.

“I’m her husband!” He insisted. “Frank, tell ‘em.”

“You don’t remember him?” Frank asked you instead. Your eyes were still trained on the man claiming to be your husband.

That would’ve made him Matthew Murdock. You vaguely remembered the name from college. Law student, in the top of his class, sort of funny. Cleary blind. He had a friend, a loud guy with long blond hair, also in the top of the law class. You remembered Matthew was always at your preferred spot in the library. He would flash you a smile and you always had to refrain from chewing him out.

“Y/N?” Frank tried, gently shaking your arm so your attention would turn to him. “You don’t remember Murdock?”

“I remember him from college, but not as my husband.” You confessed quietly, as if you were somehow worried about hurting the man’s feelings.

“Nothing? Not your wedding or your apartment? His jobs? I walked you down the aisle, Y/N/N.”

You shook your head quietly, tears welling in your eyes.

“This is why I didn’t wanna see him.” You said quietly. “Make him leave.”

Frank nodded before he stood and moved towards Matt. Dr. Cameron took your brother’s old spot soon enough, placing a gentle hand on yours and speaking soft consolations. But you were listening to the boys’ hushed conversations. You caught words every now and then and were able to assume what they were saying.

You gotta go, man.

That’s my wife. I’m not going anywhere.

You’re freakin’ her out. Give her time-

No.

The doctors gotta run some tests. Give her some space and -

I’m not leaving.

There was a light sound of scuffling as you assumed Frank dragged Matthew out because when you looked back, the boys were gone but the expression on Dr. Foreman’s face was shock and slight amusement.

When you were discharged a few days later, your team of doctors promised there was no obvious damage to any brain structures. They said the amnesia would last for an undetermined amount of time and to not force yourself to remember anything. You were given moderate pain medication and left in a sling with a list of care instructions for the rest of your injuries.

As you were leaving the hospital, Frank had the car waiting for you out front. However, there were a couple others waiting with it.

“Why is he here?” You mumbled as Frank helped you out the hospital mandated wheelchair.

“Wouldn’t leave.” Frank answered simply.

“The guy with him.. That’s his friend, Francis Nelson, right?”

“Franklin, I think. They call him Foggy.”

“Foggy.” You repeated, and it felt familiar to say.

“Hey, Y/N.” The blond - Foggy - said carefully. “You look, uh, good? All things considered.”

You offered a small smile. “Thanks, I think.. I’m sorry, I don’t really-“

“You don’t have to.” He nodded quickly. “You’re a good friend of mine. I just wanna help however I can.”

“Thank you.” You gave a genuine smile this time. “I remember a little bit, here and there. You were at Columbia and we crossed paths a few times but that’s about it.”

“That’s as good a place to start as any.” He grinned. “I was also this guy’s-“ He threw his arm over Matthew’s shoulders. “-best man, but we can worry about that later.”

“Y/N, sweetheart, please.” Matthew stepped forward, shrugging Foggy’s arm off. He reached for your hands but you took a step back, nearly cowering behind your brother. “Please, just hear me out. I- I love you, more than anything. Please. Let me explain. I can- I can show you our wedding video, pictures. We can talk to my mother or Father Lantom, he officiated the wedding.”

“I don’t know who those people are!” You exclaimed loudly. “Matthew, I don’t remember whatever relationship we had. Everything you feel, I don’t.. Not right now, at least.”

“But… Y/N, you love me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t love you like that.”

“But I love you like that.”

“You’re just staring at me like you’re not convinced that this is real.” You said quickly, though once the sentence left your mouth you realized your wording may not be effective against a blind man.

“I don’t wanna lose this. I- I- I want you to know just how I feel.”

“This’ll kill us if I don’t let go… You have to let go a little bit too.”

“We…” He lost the words, mouth opening but no sound coming out.

You said nothing as Foggy pulled Matthew out of your way so you could get into the car. Frank put himself to the other side to create a barricade between you and Matthew and you thanked him quietly. The ride back was relatively quiet, you and Frank playing an occasional Fill-In-The-Blanks-Of-Your-Memory game.

As the days went on, you stayed with Frank. He went to your alleged shared apartment and collected enough of your things to last you a couple weeks. He told you that he didn’t bring everything because he knew you’d go moving back in with Matthew soon so there was no point. And though you didn’t believe him, he clearly knew the relationship better than you did.

Matthew, however, seemed to be relentless in his quest to win you back and restore your memories. It seemed pointless to you, to try and force someone to feel something they don’t. But the love Matthew had for you was so strong, you found it hard to deny that there was something.

Your alleged husband sent you flowers, ones he swore were your favorite. He showed up with meals from local businesses, swearing that you two had some sentimental date there or you loved eating from that place. He even brought over your wedding album and video, along with your wedding band that the hospital gave to him upon your discharge since you refused it. You accepted all of his gifts with a quiet sigh and a polite smile, though you said very little to him during the exchanges. It was hard to miss the way his shoulders dropped and his face would fall when you didn’t exchange the sentiment that he offered every time, when you didn’t say you loved him.

“You gonna watch it?” Frank asked as you sat beside with the DVD case in hand.

“Should I?” You asked quietly. “All I can really remember about him was that he was an asshole in college. He was a pretty boy with good grades so he thought he could get away with whatever he wanted. We never really got along until..”

“Till what?”

“Till… something. I don’t know.”

“It’s all good. You’ll get it.” He shrugged.

“Did I ever tell you why it changed?”

“No. But I think one of you talked about it in your vows.”

“So I should watch it?” You shook the case.

“I’m just sayin’… It could have something.”

“It could?” Your brows raised. “Or it does?

“Dunno.” He shrugged. “It’s your wedding. I was taking advantage of that open bar.”

You smacked his arm and he laughed, causing you to laugh too. You slid the DVD onto the coffee table and carried on with your day, but the idea of what could possibly be hidden on the disc kept plaguing your mind.

Later that night, when Frank had gone to bed, you popped the disc into your computer.

—————

“Is he out there?” You asked anxiously, hands wringing nervously as you waited near the doors.

“Yeah, I’m here. C’mon, Y/N/N.” Frank called from the other side.

With a small, excited squeal, you opened the door and stepped out. You took a deep breath before tapping your brother on the shoulder. You smiled widely when he faced you and his jaw dropped.

Both hands covered his mouth as he grinned, eyes brimming with tears as he took a few small steps. You opened your arms and he embraced you tightly, nearly bringing you to tears.

“You look beautiful.” He mumbled and your smile got a little wider, if that was even possible. “I’m happy for you, kid.”

—————

“Y/N, I’ve thought about this day since I first met you. You’ve always been so outgoing and honest. From that first instance, I just knew I needed to have you in my life. We haven’t been perfect but you’ve always been there. And for as long as you’ll have me, I want to be the one in your heart. You’ll always have a piece of me, sweetheart. No matter what happens from here, no matter what we go through, I will always put you first. You are my love, my light. And I would go to hell and back to give you everything you deserve. I love you, until death and even after. My soul, my heart, my very being, will belong to no one but you.”

—————

“Matt, you were always my one guarantee. In college, I knew that I’d find you at my study corner every Wednesday night. After college, I knew we’d stay in touch. I knew we’d find a way to be in each other’s lives, but if you had told me before that party that I’d marry you, I would’ve laughed. But now, here I am. In a beautiful dress, at a beautiful church, with a beautiful man. You’ve been a handful for as long as I’ve known you, but everyday you make it worth it. You always make me feel so loved and so special, and when I wake up with you, I swear to make sure you feel the same. You, my sweet boy, are everything I’ve ever wanted. With you, I hope to have a long, happy, beautiful future so full of love. In front of everyone here, your family and mine, I give you every piece of me for as long as you’ll have me. I love you, with all I have to give.”

—————

You paused the video after that. The vows were beautiful, drawing a tear to your eye. You spun the ring around your finger. You slid the cursor to find the frame where he put the ring on your finger and there it was. The exact same wedding band on your hand was the one in the video.

With the evidence in front of you, it was hard to deny your wedding. The only other thing to make it more convincing would’ve been a copy of your taxes with the marital status. It made sense logically, but the emotional aspect was still severely lacking. But maybe…

Maybe you didn’t have to be so cold towards Matthew. Maybe you did start to see why you had liked him enough to marry him.

You jumped up and practically ran into Frank’s bedroom, socks slipping on the hardwood floors. You thumped him on the forehead frantically until he woke up.

“Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank.” You repeated until he caught your wrist, eyes still closed.

“The hell are you doing?” He mumbled.

“What party?”

“What?”

“In the vows. Matthew didn’t mention anything but she- I did. What happened at the party?”

“Why don’t you ask someone who was actually there?” He let go of your wrist and rolled to face the other way.

You groaned to yourself and kicked the mattress before heading out. Checking the clock on your computer, you saw it was a little after midnight. With no real plan, you pulled your phone and scrolled through contacts.

You couldn’t find anything that would’ve been obvious as Matthew. No MATTHEW, MATT, MATTY, MURDOCK, or any sort of typical term of endearment. Only HELLSPAWN with a stupid photo of your brother.

But you did find a contact with only a red heart and a devil emoji. With a hunch, you selected the contact and pressed to call.

“Y/N?” His voice came through almost immediately, not even sounding tired. In fact, he sounded more awake than you were. “Is everything okay?”

“I just wanted to… To talk to you about something.”You explained awkwardly. “I watched the video…”

“The wedding video?”

“Yeah… Unless there’s some other video we made.”

“Well.” He laughed slightly and your cheeks went hot. “I’m kidding, sweetheart. I’m kidding.” He laughed a little more.

“Yeah, you’re as hilarious as I remember.” You rolled your eyes, though you wore a small smile. “In my vows, I talked about a party.”

“Mhmm.”

“What party? What happened?”

“Why don’t you come over and we can talk? I still have some of that ice cream you like.”

“I don’t know where to go, Matthew.”

“Muscle memory.” He countered smoothly and you could picture the smirk he was wearing. “Meet me on the roof, okay?”

“If I get lost, I swear to God…” You grumbled as you stood and found your shoes. You tossed on a hoodie and pushed to acknowledge the cologne it smelled of.

Looking down at the sweater, you saw it was a Columbia hoodie but from the law department. You gave a small chuckle as you realized you recognized it as Matthew’s cologne.

“What?” He asked with a laugh.

“Uh.. Nothing. I’ll call you if I get lost.”

You hurried out the door and through the chilled night, stopping at various corners as you hesitated on which way to go. After a while of second guessing and uncertainty, you settled on a building. As you entered, you felt a sense of familiarity and you took that as a good sign. You wandered up the stairs until the roof and found Matthew was already waiting for you.

“Wasn’t sure I was at the right place at first.” You confessed as you sat beside him on the ledge. You looked over at him and saw he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

“I knew you’d get here.” He said honesty, turning towards you with a gentle smile. He reached for your hand but hesitated, allowing his palm to hover over your wrist for a moment before pulling away. “So.. You wanted to talk about the party?”

“Yeah.. What happened?”

“I went with my roommate and you went with yours. It was some sorority mixer for one of their anniversaries, but both of our roommates ditched us.” He leaned his palms on the roof behind him and leaned back, closing his eyes and tilting his head back.

You saw the red tint of old bruises poking out from under the collar of his t-shirt. Short cuts were illuminated across his face in the moonlight and the slightest purple tint showed around his eyes. You wondered who would assault a blind man so much as to leave him with a black eye.

“And then we got married.” He said simply with a small shrug.

“Sorry, what?” You asked, snapping from your admiration of him.

He laughed lightly and flattened out to his back, a hand reaching out for you. With a small hesitation, though somewhere deep in your gut you knew it was okay, you put your hand in his. He pulled you down to lay beside him and you let out a small groan as you thumped against the concrete.

“Your roommate ditched you for some frat guy and mine… I still don’t know where mine went that night.” He explained again, looking over at you with a soft smile. You tried to keep your eyes up at the faint pinpricks of stars, counting what you could see and trying to find constellations. But you could see him out your peripherals and you ended up rolling onto your side to face him. “Anyway, you didn’t know anyone else besides me and her so I stayed with you. We talked and you ended up leaving in my sweater.”

“This sweater.” You said and tugged the material.

“Yeah..” He said softly, barely above a whisper. He cleared his throat and continued talking. “I walked you back to your dorm and you made me call you when I walked back to mine… You told me you wanted to make sure I didn’t get hit by someone on a bike on my way but I think you just wanted to hear my voice some more.”

You laughed honestly and tucked your head against your arm. You felt his hand on the side of your face, his fingers inching into your hair, as he gently turned you back towards him. His unfocused eyes scanned your face and you could see the love in his expression.

“I told you…” You began carefully as you tugged the string of the memory. The memory at the base of a massive pile that if you could just get it out, maybe everything else would make sense. “I told you that you’d be a hell of a lawyer cause you managed to convince me not to hate you.”

“I think it was a little nicer than that.” His brows furrowed before he smiled.

He really had a beautiful smile, didn’t he?

“And then you asked if.. if that meant..”

“C’mon, sweetheart.” He said softly, practically to himself. “A little more.”

“If that meant we would spend more time together… We started studying together, in my favorite corner. We…”

“Yeah?”

“We fell in love.”

“And here we are.”

“Yeah…” You gave a small, slightly sad smile as you removed his hand. “Here we are.”

“Are we still in love?” He asked carefully, clearly terrified of the answer.

“I don’t know.” You said honestly. “But I do know that I liked you. And I think I’d like to see if we can fall in love again.”

He grinned widely and nodded eagerly. “I can live with that.. Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.” You laughed.

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