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#its only like the 10th time something like this has happened it surely cant be a pattern or anything
the-king-of-lemons · 3 months
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meowzilla93 · 4 months
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Possessive Derek! maybe a little OOC buuuuut thats what HC and AUs are for!
At the request of the lovely @differenteagletragedy! now im not going full yandere style, just more like, they have wanted you and want to keep you to themselves type deal
Ill throw out one for Baxter and Cove a little later on, these boys make me feel so many thing
Derek:
Lets go back a bit with Derek because he has been there since you were 13, this boy has been around and has had to listen to everything that you have gone through
You guys are keeping contact throughout high school, and of course the holidays come and go, but each year, Valentines day comes and Derek is slightly fuming
You are in your 10th year and this year, you receive chocolates and roses from people, some just as a holiday thing, others who are trying to vie for your affection
Of course, you already have someone who has captured your heart, even though you haven’t really admitted it to them yet
You’re having you chat with him after school and you both are giggling over some story he is telling you
Derek then asks how school was and you tell him of all the flowers and chocolates and confessions you got due to Valentines
He goes quiet, and in a low voice asks how many flowers, chocolates etc etc
You have no idea why he is asking but tell him regardless
Rest of the conversation goes swimmingly, like nothing ever happened
A few weeks later though, you get a delivery, from an anonymous sender
It’s a bouquet of your favourite flowers, snacks and a little card attached to it
“No one will ever know you the way I do.”
You cant help but blush at that proclamation, trying to figure out who would’ve sent that, not considering the conversation that happened during Valentines day
Oh but its school holidays now and he has that rare week or day off? He is going to spend his time attached to your hip
You are at the shopping complex and you walk into your friends from school, and one of them is just that bit flirty
You pay them no mind, as you are used to their antics, and as they turn their attention to the other, you cant help but feel Dereks presence next to you, as you feel the ghost of his hand hovering over the lower of your back
When you look up at him, you are stunned by the dark look in his eyes as he stares at the friend that was flirting at you earlier
“Derek?” The look disappears as if it wasn’t even there to begin with. “Yes?” “Is everything okay? You looked, upset…” “What? No everything is fine!” Throwing you a smile that would put the sun to shame “Do you want to ditch these guys and make our way to the beach? I’ll even carry you the whole way.”
Letting out a little squeal you agreed in a hurry, as Derek dips down to let you on his back and he carries you away, looking back on last time, catching the eye of the friend and making sure to deliver the message to stay away
Oh but when he hears about dancing boy come back into your life and finds out how open and flirty he is, Derek is beside himself
He cant meet with you until the end of summer
At the start all he can do is message you each day, making sure you are fine, fishing for information about Baxter and how he was acting towards you
You are fond of the monochrome man, but just stay as friends the entire time, but Derek can only see you falling further and further for him
A little self conscious of his emotions, he pulls back a touch and stops contact for a bit, blaming the scholarship he was doing
The Mountains trip comes and this was his undoing
He begs you not to go, its not safe, what if something happens, he isn’t here for you
But nothing deters you and you go, a touch annoyed with how he acted about this
The trip comes and goes, and a few days after you are back at home, there is a knock on your front door
Its Derek and his beautiful emerald eyes, staring at you longingly and sadness
He apologizes for the way he acted, he didn’t want to push you away and it seems he was becoming a touch controlling over you
You have a long talk and are able to get back to where you both were before all this happened
Proposing the idea to meet Baxter so he can meet him himself and see that he was harmless
Within moments of meeting, Baxter clicks that Derek is head over heels for you as when the two shook hands, Baxter felt a hard pressure on his hand. Though there was a sunny smile on Dereks’ face, there was a touch of a threat in his hand. Smiling amiably, he doesn’t react to the events transpired, but does ease off the flirty banter with you
After that summer ends, and Baxter hurts you with his dismissive attitude, Derek makes a promise to you that he will never let anyone like that hurt you ever again, making a mental note to maybe wreck pretty boys face if he ever gets the chance
Once you finally get together, he will always make sure to be by your side so that no one makes the mistake thinking you are available
Should you get compliments from someone at work, he will make sure to send you something to the office to remind you of him, and make others aware of him
Someone catcalls you, and he is right there? Oh there will be words
In the club or a bar and someone tries to hit you up. You end up on his lap/knee with a firm hand on your hip as he stares down the other person
Derek has spent 10 years yearning for you and trying to make sure you see him and no one else. He will spend the rest of his life keeping your gaze only on him
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ecoamerica · 23 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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the-ark-awaits · 7 months
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make a post about the nuclear powerplant thing!
THANK YOU I FORGOR
so. theres this place in virgina, its the north anna nuclear generating station, right? it was a 4.5 star rating with 54 reviews.
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pretty cool! i love nuclear power! this station powers something like half the homes in the state or some shit. pretty poggers! now the intersting bit. again, it has 54 reviews! thats kinda a lot, especially for, yknow. a power plant. as expected, most of them are just star ratings, no text, standard, then you get the text ones, some pretty standard like this one
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and this
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oh people genuinely leaving good reviews and people leaving silly ones. but then, if you look, you see this
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whats so special about november 15 2021? so, while my digging hasnt been able to reveal the actual source of this, the earliest mention of this is the screenshot above though i cant get a specific date on the review bc of how google works. the other two earliest mentions, besides other reviews, are an ifunny meme
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and a reddit meme on r/oddlyspecific
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at this point you get a bunch of reviews like these that seem to be people gladly joining in on the joke
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now obviously, the reactor did not melt down. i assume part of this is spurred by fears set into motion because of the plant shutting down for a period of time in 2011 after a 5.8 (i think) magnitude earthquake sparkes an 'unusual event' which is the lowest rating an event can have in the us for nuclear powerplants. it basically means something happened but nothing harmful, from what it seems, all the safety stuff worked as intended! the other thing that may have spurred it on is that in 2021 the plant was like, almost 50 years ago. the average lifespan for a nuclear powerplant is 40-60 years, so people were and are a little antsy that it has yet to be shut down. the plant, however, from all the stuff i read, has been licensed to stay active until its around 80 barring any incidents! now a small event did happen around that timeframe, but it was of course, not a meltdown of any kind, and it happened on novmeber 10th. if youre curious, link here so at this point this seems to just be people being #sillay in the reviews for fun. some just toss in november 15th as if it get it keyworked in the commonly mentioned feature, which is curious. im sure it has something to do with this strange joke about a meltdown occurring. all these reviews are kinda the same so im skipping one, but shoutout to the review that tosses in the the icecream machine worked. love the mcdonalds shade. so then we get a new interesting one,
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bro is out here writing powerplant urban legends on his own in the google reviews. so of course, other people join in
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which is kinda cool! anyways this was buckwild to me and only me, and i found this while googling virginia nuclear powerplants at work bc i was bored. daniel, please come pick up your girlfriend, she doesnt have money for an uber. anyways thats the end of the nuclear powerplant lore, thanks for reading. NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT REVIEW SPAM THIS NUCLEAR POWER PLANT THANK YOU
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liquortitle8 · 2 years
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High Rollers Casino Night
You should find that you more likely to go towards the casinos for those who have a professional driver taking you to where you want to go. This means you won't have to endure traffic, with directions or with storing. The daily casino trips drop you off at the various casinos to obtain considerable an element of the day, allowing you to have plenty of one's energy to check out the entire property and even plan lunch while in order to at the casino.
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Yes, some casinos offer lessons on playing casino craps, but do you need to think these kinds of trying to help you win? Not too it should matter, after all, their profit is guaranteed. Here's the point, you become the only a bed that cares whether you win or lose. Just because the table employees teach a person play a way, don't assume subjected to testing trying so you can win. Their support is less than shabby. Very good keen to providing VIPs' with support, so utilized only expect their representatives to be on the ball so they really can keep their high rollers associated with casino. We positive discussions with their team on several occasions, and we never had the should really transfer to another representative. Their staff is friendly and knowledgeable on services they supply. We would definitely recommend OnBling to virtually any. The first situation is dinning at a restaurant, specifically a restaurant you also been to and savor. People enjoy going in order to restaurants they do know to do great. When someone has a fine previous experience somewhere they expect future experiences to become the the precise same. Most of the time (say 9 out of 10) this expectation is met. Monthly is fast and friendly; the foods are hot and tasty; along with the atmosphere is wonderful. Then on that 10th time something goes completely wrong. The food is bad, actual commitment required is a disaster, or there can be a screaming child in the other booth. Something happens to make the same experience difficult. 제왕카지노 - the player can choose to bet as either tie or banker or gambler. It is popularly known since your non-violent bet on cards had been popularly spread all throughout Europe. Roulette - There in order to six players at the table. Each player is given his or her own color of chips, so the dealer can identify little leaguer by his color. You placed your chips on the table, wherever you wish to bet. Some examples on betting strategies are; Red/Black numbers, Low/High numbers, Odd/Even or single number selections. The factor to consider is the casino s banking methods. In cant make a deposit or especially withdrawals easily, then you should not play certainly, there. Nothing makes a casino player more upset nowadays being capable of cash your winnings. The two main for you to make sure your deposit is riskless. When you deposit make sure the page is ssl password-protected. You can tell this buy the page having https as opposed to http your past header for this webpage. Also, make sure the deposit is instant and does not take hours to submit. A good way to avoid all the hassles once you get your site will be deposit through ewalletexpress or moneybookers. Organizations are outside of the the casino sites and provide you with a way to deposit in the secure course of action. Here can be a better tyoe of how this part of an additional benefit will jobs. Let's say that a person funds a home-based casino account with $100. A casino bonus of up to fifty percent can be used. This means that a lot more $50 end up being added to one's internet page. The total value of a lot of person has in the account can be $150. There will not be any questions asked with comparison to its whether or not the profit particular is legal.
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zaptap · 3 years
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ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic
since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.
also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since
notes about the bingos under the cut
really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too
would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)
when are they putting octolings in mk8d
xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3
im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year
hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something
the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ  since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)
metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)
where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)
they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2
the two sinnoh games could likely be there
would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash
we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that
it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash
whats with that watermelon mario render
i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game
im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too
nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk
been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff
miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over
and splatoon
the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group
i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return
would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun
show us the effects of the chaos world
i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance
splatnet 3 baby
cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose
abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?
salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode
amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)
returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind
maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around
squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway
as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil
remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)
better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists
hopefully theres a global testfire again
sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz
remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back
looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it
an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity
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randomsevans · 4 years
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PAIN OF BEING IN LOVE
Part 2
Chris Evan's x Reader
@jtargaryen18 30 days of chris 2020
summary: following the news of Chris's engagement you find your way back down memory lane . To the finding and first crack in your love for Chris that would only lead to the current pain you are in
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The part couple of hours have been a blur ever since Lisa had announced that Chris was getting married to his actress girl friend ,Minka . You feel like your mind was somewhere as your body floated around not releasing what was going on , feeling numb . You dont know how or when but you laid on your bed under the covers in the pitch black . Finally letting the tears fall . You knew this day would come , but it doesnt stop the pain , the constant stabbing in your chest . You always knew loving Chris was bad for you , but you did it anyway, you still do . And you know deep down no matter what the future holds for you or who you have in your life you will love Chris . And you will always love the joy and pain he brings into your life , without anyone knowing, well apart from Scott now . And you know no one , ever , future ,past , present will have the same effect on you as those blue eyes do . You will always love chris , different love no one could ever be able to beat or match or even go higher But you kept it a secret long enough and it will always be . It's not like you expect somewhere down the line you two might end up together, that was never gonna happen . His to good for you , and his sees you as a sister . An Minka is perfect for him in every way . You are happy for him truly getting the life he has always wanted . But that doesnt stop the pain. You cant help but remember to the day you realised you love him and how he could never be yours , you never would allow it .
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Flashback
'The dickhead , errrrrrr knew it was too good to be true , I bet his getting a proper kick out of it ' 14 year old you was standing outside the cinema. The movie you were ment to be seeing playing, probably half way through now . Your date never turned put and to be honest your not that disappointed, he seem like an asshole anyway . Your just annoyed he probably thinks it's fun and thinks your crying. (You wouldnt allow your self to cry over something so pathetic in your eyes ) But you can't help on single tear roll down your cheek , this was ment to be your first date . You didnt want to go , you wasnt interested, but Scott kept pushing you to give it a shot. At least one lesson was learnt , dont listen to Scott but it's a lesson you already knew all to well .
To make things worst Scott wasnt picking up his phone . Probably to busy was something stuiped as always . Once you called him the 10th time you started to become stressed . How was you gonna get home ? You felt more teare escape due to the stress .
Scrolling though your contacts you came across Chris . You held your thumb over the name of awhile debating whether to call him or not . He was Scott's older brother ,you didnt want to make a fool of your self and seem like a little girl who cant look after her self but at the same time he said he you ever needed him he was one phone call away .
So that's what you did . With your phone now up to your ear you waited to see if he would answer. 'Hes probably busy with his new girlfriend '
But to your surprise he answered
"Hello "
"Hi " your voice cracked and tears began to run down your cheek at the sound of his voice.
"Y/n are you okay ?" You could hear the panic in his voice , you just let out a loud hiccup as your tried not to cry "... tell me where you are I'll come and get you "
"But ... a... arnt you .u busy ?"
"I'm never to busy for you . Now where are you ?" He demand as you heard on the phone and loud slam you could only assume a door and a seconde later you heard his car engine.
"Umm Chris it's fine, I should of called "
"Sweetheart tell me where you are ,or I swear I'll look on every street in Boston. "
"Umm but "
"Y/n " he warned
"I'm at the cinema 15 minutes away from your and Scott's "
"Okay I'll be there in 5 " he ended the call .
How can he be here in 5 , its 15 minutes away . Unless he is going to speed . He better not. Maybe he already knew where I was . Oh who iam kidding his nee girlfriend probably leaves 5 minutes away .
And with that you waited ,not much else you could do . Your tears died down . Still feel stuipid of crying over something or someone or somewhere you didnt even want to be
As if in a blink of an eye a battered dirt coloured trunk pulled up in front of you . The windows rolled down to show a very conserndier Chris showing lines on his youthful face as he frownd . "Get in " he muttered by in a tone that was not to be argued with . So you step forward hesitant at first but then you remember you did call him . As as you open the car door and I one footed jump into the truck , shuting the door behind you placing your bag in front of you , inbetween your feet as you fiddled with the seat belt .
"So ... " he began " why are stranded at the cinema "
"I was... um "
' Why am so nervous '
"I was ment to be on a date ..." it was then you final met Chris eyes that showed a flash if emotion as if he was almost hurt at the thought of you on a date . But it was probably because you interrupted his own . But you still felt a need to explain as if to avoid hurting his feelings.
"He ..he stood me up.. its not like I even wanted to go it was all Scots idea ." To quickly finished quite nervous as if you did something wronge .
Chris raised an eyebrow "Scotts ha ?" You nodded
"I tried calling him but he didnt pick up "
"So you called me ?" You nodded " so why was you crying if you didnt even want to be on the date ?"
"I was not!" You never like showing your emotions it made you feel weak and you are anything but weak .
"I heard you on the pho..." he chucked trying to lighten the mood
"I was just stress I didn't know how I was gonna get home "
"Well iam here now "
"So can you take me home ?" You questioned
"No !" You were shocked by his sudden answer.
"What ?"
"I'm not taking you home, not yet anyway " he said with his sights smirk .
"So where ?"
"Surprise!" He said starting the engine
"But ... but dont you have to get back to your girlfriend?"
"Pfff girlfriend?" He looked confused.
"Yeah Scott said you had a girlfriend "
"You shouldn't listen to Scott "
"I know that " you giggled now looking out the widow watching the world pass away. Unaware of certain blue eyes keep glancing at you with a smile only for you .
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
" you didn't have to do this you know " said while manching on your fries in a dinner Chris brought you to .
" I did !" He agreed with a mouth full of his burger ." I couldn't make you go home with a frown " he said with his mouth. You blush at his words but disgusted by his manners .
Throughing a scrunched up napkin you giggled playfully " dont speak you your mouth full "
He raised an eyebrow and smirked a little sorry .
"Why do you care anyway , why do this just to make me smile " you giggled certainly in a better mood , his blue eyes stared into your in awe and a quite mutter you just about heard " if only you knew " but you swear you heard him wrong some you moved on to your next question . As those also familiar butterflys return to your stomach when ever your around Chris .
" So is that your job to make me smile " you ask while putting another frie or two in your mouth .
"Among other thing "
"Like ..?" Your curiosity getting the better of you .
" Give me the punks name ? " he glared at you but still in a soft manner as if to tell you his anger wasnt towards you
" what ?"
" the idiot who stood you up I want his name " he demanded as if a man on a misson .
"Why? "
"Because he made a mistake standing you up "
"And whys that ?"
Because he stood up the best girl in Boston, I know I wouldnt if I was him" the last part came out a bit shaky and quite .
"It doesn't matter anyway " you felt the butterflies raise to your chest as your heart began to faster .
"Because it does "
You couldn't argue anymore , abit scared by his tone you gave him the boys name . But you were still under the spell of his blue eyes . And it was at that moment everything your mother said as a child when you ask about love , princess and prince, clicked in your head . She expain how the flurry feeling never goes away as their around, how theirs a smile on your face always. And how their a feeling. A feeling only there can make you feel . It was at this moment you realised
Holy shit I'm in love with Chris
As you stared at those blue eyes surrounding a 17 year old Chris you knew you always had a little crush on him . You were pretty sure half of the girls in school did . But it never accrued to you just how far those feelings ran .
"Why do you care ?" You titled your head .
"Because your Scotte best friend " he smirked with yet another mout h full of his burger. You giggled at his terrible manners .knowing full well he was doing it because he knew it annoyed you .
And it was in this moment you knew
'He will never be your y/n and keep it that way to keep both Scott and Chris in your life '
You put on a small smile , as the first crack appeared on you new found love for Chris that will forever be on you heart . If only you knew it would be the first of many. Leading to the one big hole you feel currently. But that's the pain of being in love
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brightokyolights · 4 years
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I just saw your tags on the "harry was oppressed" post. Might elaborate on that when you are not tired? How Zayn was oppressed? His relationship to ot4. Other celebrities? I love your thoughts!
*cracks knuckles* buckle your seat belts folks we’re in for a wild ride here lmao.
also for context *here* is the post this anon is referring to
I think to start off i should just make a little disclaimer, everything i am going to discuss will be based in my biases probably seeing as I am also a brown British Pakistani person who is Muslim. Zayn has been someone that especially when i was younger I looked up to and was very essential in my journey of learning to love and accept myself and my culture tbh. It’s cheesy as hell but it’s true and i think this is important to know before I go into this more because like I said i am definitely biased towards him. Another thing is that I’m just going to be discussing my personal opinions and also my memory is not very good so i will probably miss out a lot of other things that happened/could be discussed. please dont take this as anything more than just. my opinion.
A thing that really opened my eyes to racism and especially the racism in the 1d fandom was the day that zayn left. I dont think thats what the post above was about btw and ill go into that but i kind of just want to talk about this. The day he left was. a severe mess. Not only because it was obviously upsetting but because of all the bs that people were spouting about a situation that absolutely no one had any context on. the statement that was released on facebook gave us nothing. literally just stated that zayn was leaving the band and the accusations and hatred people were directing towards zayn when we didnt know what actually fucking happened (and still dont might i add) was disgusting. people accusing him of being selfish and how they hated him and why he had to ruin everything. Accusing him of using mental illness as an excuse and lying about it and so much more. i had unfollow more than half of the people i followed that day. it really opened my eyes to the fact that these were all thoughts and opinions people had underneath it all and zayn was fine as long as he was part of 1d and giving people what they wanted. which was essentially being the token in the group and once he wasnt providing that anymore? people turned and people turned fast.
i think its also important to point out the flip side of it and that was zayn stans saying that 1d were nothing without 1d etc. i want to talk about why this was different from ot4 stans hating zayn. of course it wasnt nice to see or hear EVERYONE arguing with each other. i hated it so much. but i think what people failed to realise was that when it comes to situations like this you need to look deeper and think about all the nuances of the situation. zayn stans being happy about zayn leaving the band and saying 1d was going to die i did not agree with. anyone who knew me then and knows me now knows that i am a 1d stan regardless (preferably ot5 but i supported 1d until the end even as a 4some) BUT these opinions were rooted in his mistreatment in the band and the racism he was having to face as a result of being in the band etc etc i apologise for not being a person who can better describe and explain this situation but hopefully you are getting the picture. when fans were hating on zayn. with no context with nothing. that was based on racism. point blank. the amount of tweets FROM 1D FANS talking about how he was leaving to join isis and how upset fans were gonna be vulnerable and join etc etc all this deplorable bs. and he had to deal with comments like that throughout his whole time with one direction and i imagine even now. 
Another thing id like to talk about is who zayn stans at least from my point of view usually were. For me i remember when i first got into the fandom i actively made the decision that i didnt want zayn to be my favourite because i didnt want to be a stereotype and this was a point in my life when i still tried to shun and push my culture down because i was ashamed of it. it was only as i slowly saw that zayn was considered as cool and hot and everyone else liked him that i kind of understood that maybe. being brown was alright and it was something cool and that maybe i was cool. it sounds fucked up and honestly i dont even know if i want to be admitting this so adamantly but argh if it helps someone understand then maybe its worth it. (mortifying ordeal of being known eh?) anyways i noticed as i engaged more in fandom and looked for more diversity, more fans like me, majority of non white fans were also... zayn stans. and honestly it makes sense because we all tended to flock towards the closest diversity we could find it seems. im not saying that there werent white zayn stans and that the other boys didnt have non white stans but i just wanted to point out this trend. so when you also take this into account and the fact that on the day zayn left it was majorly... white stans who were criticizing zayn it puts it in perspective for you. majority of fans who still like and support zayn are also not white.
there is a lot more to do with fans but hopefully thats enough of an insight and you can understand the kind of vibes that were present during 1ds prime and what not only zayn had to go through but also as a result the racism we ended up having to deal with as well tbh.
now!!!... something i dont really like talking about lol so this will probably be short but the other boys. so as far as i can remember liams always been kind to zayn since hes left (no surprise there <3 also please correct me if im wrong), niall was kind of indifferent/didnt say anything really, and then there was louis and harry *awkward smile*. hahaha. from my memory i remember when asked about what the most difficult thing was about zayn leaving harry said ‘the paperwork’ which was *awkward smile* and he also kicked that monkey mask/pinata? i cant remember with naughty boys face on it and honestly im sure theres more but his overall reaction to zayn leaving was kind of not caring and maybe being slightly nasty which :) with louis there was the massive twitter fight which literally tears my soul in half so lets not go into that haha and honestly other things where it maybe seemed like he was upset with zayn leaving as well. honestly i am a bit in two minds about these reactions because at the end of the day we dont know what occurred behind the scenes and we probably never will as much as we can speculate or whatever. not to mention that this 10th anniversary it seems maybe everyones on good terms which, who knows really im going to try be optimistic. i think whats important to note about heir reactions is that we dont know anything about their situations but the problem was really how fans reacted tbh (btw i forgot to mention earlier this is about basically everything except for harry and the nb thing. that is inexcusable). the boys reactions were understandable but the problem is that fans of course vicariously are influenced by the boy they stan so when one of them acted a certain way of course that ended up reflecting in fandom and resulted in more racism etc. 
another thing with zayn was that there were many files leaked with like promo or whatever basically describing what kind of role the boys would take on/ their image etc. and of course all the other boys got things like bubbly/funny/charming etc and zayns descriptors? moody, mysterious, dark horse etc etc like from the inception of 1d zayn has been victim to racist stereotypes being pushed on him. and i think this is where harry comes in because of course the image pushed onto him was also extremely harmful and i definitely dont think we should not talk about that but often you'll see that... thats all that is talked about because people are uncomfortable admitting racism and talking about it. 
When i mentioned other celebrities my point was basically just that while ive only talked about zayn in one direction this... is so present among any and every fandom. 5sos, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony... any fandom you can think of, i promise you it is there. racism in fandom is a real thing and a big problem and honestly this is why i always say representation is so important. and when i say that i mean everywhere!!! because if I didnt seek out non white fans to follow then maybe i would’ve had a completely different perspective on all of this.
The thing is also that a lot of this is just stuff that we’ve been able to get our hands on and also fan analysis and theories etc. there is probably so much more to talk bout or go into or stuff we’ll never even know about. I’ve kind of had to make peace with the fact that with celebrities you just really don’t actually know anything about them.
I think i’ll end this here if there’s any more questions you have about anything feel free to ask! and again this is all just my opinion  but hopefully i’ve been able to help answer you <3 have a nice day and i hope youre hydrated!!!
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snkpolls · 5 years
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SnK Chapter 121 Results
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The chapter 121 poll closed with 1,812 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating!
  RATE THE CHAPTER 1,644 Responses
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Welp, it’s official. Chapter 121, the 10th anniversary chapter of Attack on Titan, was the highest rated chapter this year. In fact, in the last two years, the only chapter that scored higher was 112. Bravo, Isayama!
Attack on Titan can’t get any crazier after THAT chapter!” I say for the fourth month in a row, like a fool.
Jesus Christ Im so happy I was born at the time aot was created
Eren is *chef’s kiss* so perfect and well written and scary and amazing. The best character of anything I’ve ever watched or read, I’ll love him for a very long time.
I had to physically lie down, I was that confused.
It was perfect. From the reveal of Eren to Zekes meeting with Grisha. This chapter changed our whole view not just on the characters, but the whole story itself. Simply amazing.
I honestly think this was the most mind blowing chapter since the Basement reveal chapter. To think Future Eren was the one who convinced Grisha at the last second to massacre the Reiss family blew my mind!
This was an amazing chapter. Regardless of what you think of Eren, he has to be one of the most well developed characters in all of manga. I like the direction of the story and can't wait to see what Isayama has in store for our beloved characters.
This chapter solidifies SnK as manga of the decade.
I'm not sure if Isayama planned this from day n°1, but him saying the story is about surpassing the father takes up a whole new meaning: how can your father enslave you when you enslave him yourself?
The next big twist? “Oh-ho, onii-chan, I was the Founder Ymir all along!”
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,684 Responses
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There were a LOT of moments in this chapter, and a lot of people had a lot of different favorites. The one that seems to stand out the most was the reveal of the Attack Titan’s ability, beating almost every other answer by double digits. Other favorites include Eren reliving the famous childhood scene with Mikasa, the significance of the royal kiss, and Eren breaking free of the PATHS chains. Interestingly, “You haven’t gotten to the part where I eat our old man yet,” and Grisha telling Zeke to stop Eren had a nearly identical number of responses, with a difference of only 2.
I'd choose not have any time travel shenanigans in this franchise if I was asked for an opinion beforehand, but it has been executed really well.
The real question is: could Zeke or Grisha feel the hug?
i want to hug mikasa
  WHAT IS “THE SIGHT” (FAN TRANSLATION "THE SCENERY" ) THAT EREN SEES FONDLY? 1,646 Responses
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Oof. The majority (37.2%) believe “the sight” Eren sees fondly is the trampled burning earth, post -rumbling. “His friends living freely”(16.2%)  was the second option followed by “The child from the final panel” (13.5%) in third.
"Something beyond that hell..."
Eren saw his own death. His death is somehow going to be the set up for a peaceful future. That’s why Grisha was so upset. His *actual* death is going to be gruesome af. Definitely more gruesome than getting his head blown awff.
I do not understand Eren at all, so I won't even try to give an answer to this
I think it is possibly a ruse since I am still thinking he has some plan concerning Founder Ymir. I actually still believe VERY strongly that Eren is obviously aiming a future where he can save many. But... For the sake of answering this question shortly: not too sure atm on the ‘fixed’ sight, but I think it’s possible he is seeing a ‘way’ for the Titan curse to finally end. I think every shifter, including Armin, will die still tbh. :P
The rumbling scene we saw in chapter 106, when Eren was smiling
The Walls destroyed and the colossus titans inside freed and marching, but it doesn't necessarly end with world scale rumbling.
I know it may not be moral, and maybe it's not even going to happen, but i REALLY hope "that sight" is the world-scale rumbling actually happening.
Grisha knew about the rumbling, and I don't think that happening nearly as horrified as he looked. My first theory was Eren was going to end the ability of Eldians being able to transform into titans, now I believe he wants the rest of the world to become titans.
The fact of being able to tell to the child of the latest panel "You're free now", we all know that freedom is Eren's weak spot
he saw a jo jo reference
  HOW DO YOU VIEW GRISHA’S UNWILLINGNESS TO KILL CHILDREN? 1,673 Responses
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SnK is relatively (in?)famous for its "gray morality" takes. It has been pretty consistent that you probably shouldn't kill children though, and Grisha seems to agree. 41% of you guys admire him for at least temporarily rethinking his plan to kill the Reiss children. 52.5% of you don’t fault him for hesitating, but understand that it was ultimately necessary to achieve the end goal, and 6.5% of you think it was weak given the circumstances.
Seeing Grisha how he talks about not being able to kill kids since he's a doctor and then seeing said kids cheering on their sis to kill him was :((((
Grisha has moved from "ugh, I despise him" to "guess he's slightly better than Rod Reiss?"
  WE HAVEN’T SEEN EREN RECEIVE ANY FUTURE MEMORIES, AND HE'S VERY CERTAIN THAT HE'S NEVER BEEN CONTROLLED BY ANYONE ELSE. DOES THIS MEAN THAT EREN IS THE LAST ATTACK TITAN? 1,668 Responses
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Just over 70 percent of you think that Eren is the last holder of the Attack Titan; that’s pretty cut and dry! The next largest group was ‘I don’t know’ at just over 21 percent, with most other responses negligible. It seems that most readers therefore think that, one way or another, the Attack Titan’s path ends with the Eren’s story.
Eren is the Attack Titan. Period.
He's the first and the last.
I think it's just possible that Eren is the only one who is able to have complete control over the Attack Titans abilities. It is mentioned in this chapter that the previous holders of the Attack Titan didn't have full control over it...
What if a more future attack titan manipulated Eren so that he cannot see future memories
I think it's likely, but something Kruger says prevents me from being positive. In chapter 89 "If you want to save them all; Mikasa, Armin and the others; carry out your mission to the end." This could be a message from Eren to Eren, from Eren to Grisha, or from someone unknown to Eren.
  IN CHAPTER 1, DID GRISHA SEE CURRENT EREN WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE BASEMENT? 1,673 Responses
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For all these years, we thought  Grisha was just being rude - not even looking at Eren as he promised to show him the basement. Finally, an alternative explanation! 81.5% of us choose to believe that Grisha was looking at Eren - just not the smol Eren of Chapter 1.
  WHEN ZEKE AND EREN BREAK CONTACT, EREN MENTIONS ZEKE NOT YET SEEING THE NIGHT HE ATE HIS FATHER. IS THIS SIGNIFICANT? 1,677 Responses
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As much as we've learned about what's driving Eren this chapter, he's still sketchy enough to raise some questions. 59% of you guys think he still has more information to share with Zeke, and by proxy, with us, about the memory of the night he ate Grisha. ~28% think he was just mocking Zeke and the fresh wounds of his reunion with Grisha, and about 12% aren't sure.
Grisha received more memories of Eren's plan, and gave the Attack Titan willingly
Maybe...? Maybe there's something else Grisha tells Eren while injecting him. Something other than the words we've already seen.
It felt like Eren was mocking Zeke, almost as if Zeke bailed out of the memory at a convenient point where he and his dad reconcile to the point seeing the latter's death to Pure Titan Eren later on could have hit him hard.
Oh lawd
  THE ATTACK TITAN’S ABILITY REVEALED! WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS TWIST? 1,665 Responses
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Despite some initial confusion, nearly two thirds of the fandom (72.6%) are delighted with the Attack Titan’s ability to see the memories of future. However, while not an option on the poll, a significant number of write-ins believe that Grisha was wrong and this isn’t a typical Attack Titan ability at all, but rather the result of Eren entering the PATHS realm.
Totally supported this! As Time-Loop Conspirist! xD
AoT shouldn't be a story with time travel (memory transfer is still time travel in my book)
But I don't think it is the Attack Titan's ability at all?? That is just Grisha's conclusion from his very limited experiences. But we can actually see in this chapter that his conclusion is not true when considering the larger context. The only one who can show people the future is Eren while in possesion of the Founding Titan being in PATHS realm while touching another shifter with royal blood. That are very specific conditions to be met. Without them there is no future memory shenanigans. So while it seems like being able to get glimpses of the future is the ability of the Attack Titan to Grisha, it is only an ability of Eren's Foundig Titan under very strict circumstances. I think any other titan shifter could pull of the future memory thing as well given the right circumstances.  
Calling it an asspull means you're a speedreader, Kruger mentioned Mikasa and Armin by name years before they were born, it gave us a hint at the Attack Titan's power without telling us directly
Grisha misinterpreted this. He's wrong.
Didn't feel like a twist since we already knew since Kruger that it was possible to see into the future. It was just confirmation.
I just hope Isayama develops this time-thing concept a little more, and for it not to be a kind of fix-all-the-plot-holes narrative magic trick.
It's cool but it still made me roll my eyes so hard you could hear it
So if the founder cant do that, does that make the attack titan the strongest there is ?
  EREN LOST HIS THUMB WHEN HE BROKE FREE FROM THE CHAINS TO STOP SAND YMIR. IS IT IMPORTANT THAT HE LOST HIS THUMB, OR JUST THAT HE BROKE FREE? 1,671 Responses
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A majority of you (59.6%) think that Eren’s thumb being lost is merely to show how he managed to break free from the chains, and has no deeper meaning. However, almost a quarter of respondents believe that Eren losing his preferred method of shifting is significant going forward (perhaps indicating he will lose his titan powers in the future if not necessarily his life?) Some of you even brought up that it might be significant that this happened in the Paths dimension itself.
I only noticed the thumb when taking this poll.
It’s foreshadowing for sure, lots of focus on that panel. The literal cost for his freedom from shackles was his preferred method of transforming. We can’t tell yet, but Eren lost his thumb in paths land. As far as we know no one has been injured in this place. It could be permanent. Also worth noting that he’s about to touch Ymir with a bloody hand... blood, sins of the past... there’s something there
It’s only important that he broke free of the chains
It’s to show how heavy those chains were. That, or to show that Eren has literally the pain tolerance of the one guy who got stuck in a canyon and sawed off his arm.
Eren losing his thumb is very important, it happened in the paths dimension.
  IF YOU THINK IT IS IMPORTANT, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? 1,463 Responses
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Building on the last question, we asked those of you who think Eren’s loss of his thumb important to say why. 57.8% of you think it was an important display of his determination. However, the point was brought up by some of you that the Devil as drawn in the manga and anime only has four digits on his hand!
He can no longer show approval
Grisha stabbed himself in the right hand, the one that led Faye to her death. And now, Eren's left thumb is chopped off, the classical symbol of his ability to lead humanity to salvation/destruction. It might not have any deeper narrative impact than just reminding the reader these Jaegers are at fault for whatever the outcome is, shaped by their own hand.
The devil depicted in the book is shown with only 4 fingers.
Is it too late to say I'm just in this for the fight scenes?
Because we haven't had a gratuitous moment in over five pages.
  RATE THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT: AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY, EREN IS A VILLAIN. 1,673 Responses
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Another point on that gray morality, how many of you think Eren is a villain at this point in the story? 5.5% of you strongly agreed with that idea, 15.2% agreed, but a little less, and 37.2% were neutral. On the other hand, 24.3% disagreed, and 17.8% look at the aforementioned 24.3% disagreers and say, “I’m you, but stronger.”
  IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE ONLY ONE OPTION, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY EREN’S MAIN MOTIVATION IS? 1,662 Responses
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Just over three quarters of you (76%) believe Eren’s main motivation is still Freedom; the alpha and omega of the manga, his driving force as much now as it ever was. Just over 17% of you think that Eren’s main motivation is his friends, a shockingly low number, unless many of you believe Freedom for himself and for his friends is one and the same. Very small numbers of you believe that he is motivated by an external force, such as the will of a Titan, or his country.
I wish Eren showed Zeke the pain the Warriors suffered due to their lack of freedom.
Does Historia fall under friends for Erens motivation?
You can't chain freedom
Eren’s about to have a heated freedom fighter moment and destroy the whole world
I think Eren kind of knows that he is doing a bad thing. We just have to look his eyes during  the Reiss attack to see that he knows he is taking a big risk. But I am sure he does that for his people and his freedom.
  ON A SCALE OF 1 TO HANNIBAL LECTOR, HOW MUCH OF A PSYCHOPATH IS EREN? 1,672 Responses
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We got some bombshells this chapter about Eren. Some answered questions, some raised them. Of the 1,672 responses, 78.5% of you, when factoring in this new information, rated Eren Jaeger a 3 or higher on the Psychopath Scale™, with 4 being the most popular rating. 12.4% of you rated him a 2, and 9% rated him a 1.
  REGARDLESS OF HIS MORALITY, HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE EREN JAEGER ANYWAY? 1,672 Responses
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Regardless of any perceived psychopathy, about 56% of you guys still dedicate your hearts to Eren Jaeger. 21.5% of you dedicate like, 80% of your heart to him. ~14% rated their love at a 3, 3.9% rated it a 2, and 5.6% rated it a 1.
  DO YOU THINK ISAYAMA'S "EVIL" PORTRAYAL OF EREN IS A RUSE? 1,654 Responses
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We are clearly a fandom divided with almost an equal number of yes’s and no’s. The remainder of the fandom is unwilling to commit but holding out hope. This wasn’t the only three-way split on the poll. The question “Does the ends justify the means?” has a similar result. Maybe there’s a connection.
The thing I love about attack on Titan is that there is no good and evil. There’s more nuance to the characters’ motivations and actions. Eren is not evil. He just is. His actions may be viewed as evil by those adversely affected by him, but I don’t think Isayama is portraying him as evil or as an antagonist. He just is. And I’m looking forward to seeing what it is exactly that he’s fighting so hard for.
Even so after what Eren did to Grisha, of how he persuaded him to remind him his hatred, plus this "EVIL" dye of his persona, I want to believe that this is his only option, it's the sacrifice that is worth paying if that means making reality " that scenario." And it is evident seeing his expression that he does not enjoy doing this at all.
Zeke and Eren are supposed to appear as an angel and a demon on each of Grisha’s shoulders, but neither is fully evil or good, so I’m not sure where Isayama is going with this.
This fandom has been in constant denial about Eren character direction, the reaction to this chapter is another show of that. I cannot wait to see what mental gymnastics they do to justify genocide once the full Rumbling Is confirmed as Eren plan.
If eren indeed become the final antagonist and plans on mass murder/ending the world.... REINER HELOS BRAUN, PLEASE SAVE US ALL.
  ARE YOU HAPPY ZEKE AND GRISHA RECONCILED? 1,671 Responses
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Whether or not you like Grisha and/or Zeke, most of us (63.5%) thought the moment the two of them shared this chapter was beautiful. 23.1% are hesitant to jump to conclusions however, and think it is too soon to be certain of the authenticity of this reconciliation.
Grisha's feelings were unambiguously genuine, but it wasn't reconciliation he sought. As for Zeke, I'd say his current full opinion of Grisha remains to be seen, likely even by Zeke himself.
I actually teared up omg they deserve it
I know, I'm supposed to feel good about that moment and probably pity Zeke, but I just don't have it in me to sympathize with a person working hard to euthanize a whole race of people, tragic backstory or not. I do, however, sympathize with Grisha. Constantly struggling with his knowledge of the outside world and the past, struggling to bring his mission to an end because the greater good doesn't seem so great when you have to kill innocent children for it, etc. I'm happy he got some closure with Zeke at least, even if it was just in PATHS realm.
It's nice this moment happened but it still does not erase what horrible things grisha did to zeke as a father
It's nice to see Grisha has redeeming qualities and to see Zeke making a slip of the tongue and calling him dad. I loved how Zeke contrasted with Eren in comparison to Grisha.
Meh. Zeke got closure with his father, fuckin yay. -_-
  HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ELEMENT OF TIME TRAVEL? 1,669 Responses
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It’s finally confirmed! Almost half of the fandom (48.7%) can get behind Isayama throwing time travel into the mix since he’s been dropping hints since chapter one.  25% of respondents straight up love it, and 9.3% say the concept is growing on them.
Confused, but I'm loving the direction of the story. I was hoping there'd be a sci-fi element to the story, and it seems like we're starting to get it.
I do like the time travel concept but it doesn't fit in SnK universe, imho.
If AoT world indeed works in predetermined fashion it nullifies element of freewill for me. And it kinda cheapens the struggle of characters which is sad. Like, now it's all as if Eren is just following sophisticated instruction. Does that all matter? I hope so.
I'm worried about it but I hope Yams can pull it off amazingly
I don't know how people could think that the Attack Titan's ability came out of nowhere, it has been foreshadowed since literally the start and time loop theories have been going around for years. Not just based on the first few panels either but on Eren instinctively knowing how to use the power, and when Kruger got memories from the future it was pretty much confirmed.
Isn't it more like "mind travel" at this stage?
its interesting but i dont think its as complex or crazy as its made out to be
I really didn't like the time travel aspect as it leads to a paradox. I get that it was foreshadowed, but I just wish it had been handled better. Time travel is easy mess up, and these recent chapters has given me doubts on the story's direction.
Ouch. Please. How??? Why?? I still don’t get it.
Seems to have been woven into the story incredibly well and I do not really see it has time travel.  Instead it seems to be that the memories of certain titans are linked and can trancend time.
  ARE OG YMIR'S EYES CLOSED, OR ARE THEY OPEN BUT BLANK? 1,666 Responses
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This chapter provided us with a better look at OG Ymir, but even that wasn’t enough to settle the issue of her eyes. While half the fandom believes they are closed, the other half isn’t so sure, selecting the “Open and blank” or “I’m not sure” options.
  TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS? 1,649 Responses
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The fandom is fairly evenly split three ways here on the morality question.  Slightly more than a third (34.8%) say that sometimes things can be taken Too Far and there are some lines that should not be crossed.  The remainder of the fandom was divided, with 31% believing that any action can be justified if the outcome is favorable, and 31% being unsure on this one.  There were a ton of write-ins on this one:
Any outcome is justified if you win
Since Isayama introduced us to very interesting topic of time as not a progression of events, but as a big ball of things happening all at the same moment, I think that gives us a cue to think about the artificiality of the idea that some things are just means while others are just ends, and that they are unrelated. Means and outcomes are an item, I don't think it's posible to get a good outcome from cruel means.  
In real life: it depends. Here, reading a fictional story: anything goes. You guys take it this too seriously.
I lean pretty heavy into consequentialism, so I do believe in the ends justifying the means, but you also have to be careful that the means don't make you lose sight of the end. Having all the information you possibly can regarding how to reach said end is vital. Eren's ends are possibly noble, but he's working with incomplete information and could easily end up causing something terrible because of this, which is what I think will happen.
*Erwin has entered the chat*
Regardless of my own personal opinions. I do enjoy reading about characters who will do anything to get to their desired “end”
It's completely unethical to kill humans for a 'better future'. That's what Thanos and Daenarys did and they both were villains. It keeps the story spicy but I will could never write off what Eren did, even if he saves everyone in the end.
If it benefits Paradis then yes. If it benefits Marley, absofuckinlutely not
I believe in the end justify the means if it involves saving a lot of people. Not as a personal use, just like Eren is doing.
Depends on the ends and depends on the means. Context matters.
Eh I don’t know. A favourable outcome is subjective and the cost of getting there is also subjective. If I have lines I think should ever be crossed, then why shouldn’t they be crossed? What if my perspective changes afterwards? No one knows how things will turn out in the end.
"No. Not even in the face of Armageddon. Never compromise."
  WHO DO YOU HOPE WINS THIS COSMIC BATTLE? 1,749 Responses
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Morally questionable or not - most respondents (66.6%) want Eren to be successful and carry out his plan. In contrast, only 2.3% want Zeke’s plan to come to fruition. Pretty much everyone else wants both of these problematic brothers to be stopped.
A meteor. Just put them all out of their misery.
Both of them are awful so I hope everybody will join hands and stop them. This way the other characters will receive the spotlights they deserve as well. After all this series shouldn't revolve only around the Yeager bros for god sake. I'm sick of their shit.
Everything is already preordained, Erens plan will come to light. Its just interesting to see how it unfolds.
I hope someone (my boy Reiner needs his redemption, please) stops them both
I just want to know how the story will end. I don't want to have any expectations.
I think Armin will come into play somehow. He was brought back for a reason and that Eren was right when he said Armin would be the saviour of humanity.
I want Eren to just “Win”!⚡️ (But also say sorry in some way to people he has hurt >:()
I want to see eren carry out his plan BUT not because I’m rooting for him just because I have no idea what he’s trying to do now and im confused
I'm still a slave because of my ignorance so I can't make that choice for myself yet.
  WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,764 Responses
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Once you got PATHS™, you never go back - or at least that’s how almost half of respondents felt. Levi and Hange are certainly missed though, almost a quarter of respondents are hoping to see them next chapter.
Each chapter I get more and more confused by what's going on i'm so confused pls isayama i beg you just leave us on a cliffhanger for like 3 chapters and take us to levi and hange at least that wouldnt have confusing plot points.
MOAR P A T H S and Annie plz
It's about fith or sixth time I'm choosing "levi and hange" when questioned what I'm hoping to see next chapter. Someone go tell Isayama...
Too tired of the Yeager Bros. Wanting my Levi and Hange back.
I *would* like to see what happens when Eren catches OG Ymir, but next chapter, can we please cut away to all of the above?
I hope we get to see Ymir's memories in the next chapter, at least the memory related to where it all started
PATHSland is great, but the travels through Grisha's memories were getting a bit boring. I'm glad we're back in current PATHSland and am excited to see what happens with Eren and Ymir next chapter.
Ugh I just really REALLY want to see Historia after these Path dimension shenanigans. Non-pregnant Historia. Please.
Memories of Ymir the Founder first and foremost. Not holding my breath for a Historia cliffhanger but it would be nice too.
(Guys, where is the Floch option, I miss him)
  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,607 Responses
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While Reddit continues to make up the majority of our respondents, the Attack on Titan fandom is everywhere. Wherever you choose to discuss the series, we appreciate your support of this chapter poll!
Add an option for discussing the series on Snapchat. We have been discussing on snap since chapter 91
  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 250 Responses
Eren was his daddy's daddy
It has come to my attention that I am too stupid for this manga
Gotta love the irony : Zeke wanting to save eren from grisha's brainwashing while in fact grisha's been lowkey brainwashed by Eren the whole time. Also zeke turning out to be Dad's favourite, who would have thought ? And remember when Eren wanted to die because he learned that his dad slaughtered the Reiss family ? Yeah, didn't age well...
Probabaly one of the better chapters. Much explanation and dialog. Less Titan action and SC flying around. Just how I like it.
Thank fuck Isayama has the IQ of Einstein hopped up on speed, any lesser writer would've fucked up the time travel aspect.
So Grisha is asking his older son, who murdered maaaaany people for the sake of his terrible plan, to stop his younger son from executing his terrible plan and murder more people? The Jeagers are all psychopaths.
Having mixed thoughts about all of this. I've been getting more and more skeptical at each chapter about the direction of this whole arc, and I wonder how Isayama will wrap up all of this in a satisfying manner under a year.
shit wus hapening
Gimme rumbling pls.
I think the roller coaster has just begun
Eren told Isayama to make Reiner suffer
i am patiently waiting for isayama to finish the series and THEN comment whether it was bad writing or not. I just hope he is not writing himself into a corner and pull a GoT ending....
I hate both Zeke and Eren’s plans ( if Eren’s plan truly is the rumbling) . However, if I had to chose one to carry out I’d probably go with Zeke’s. Euthanasia is terrible but if Eren’s plan truly is the rumbling then that would kill almost everyone. At least with Zeke’s plan less people will die. Killing off one race is better than killing off almost everyone.
Eren Kruger telling Grisha that Mikasa and Armin need to be saved despite the fact neither were born at the time makes perfect sense now: it was Kruger's Attack Titan powers kicking in where he received a future vision of when Grisha would pass the Attack Titan to his son. That was the earliest foreshadow I was able to pinpoint regarding the Attack Titan twist, but the title "To you, 2000 years in the future," seems to also tie into this as well since it addresses someone in the future, as if someone from long ago is talking to someone from the future (a future Attack Titan user--most likely Eren)!
this chapter is mind blowing. the moment where grisha reconciled with zeke, i wonder if eren purposely made it to save his father from regret before died and to save his brother from his dead father's shadow.
Since the next chapter is the final chapter of the volume I feel like we will get the conclusion of the path realm arc thingie, it wouldn't make sense if they were going to do a levi chapter at the last chapter of the volume
So far, chapter 50 is still my favorite anniversary chapter. I feel like the actual climax of the story, which is possibly what we heard in the ending audio, will be the chapter that's most likely to be able to top that. I genuinely enjoyed this chapter as well, but I was expecting a bit more out of it than what we got considering this chapter marked the 10th anniversary of the manga's serialization. Regardless of that, this chapter did offer very important revelations that I'm excited to see play out in future chapters.
Look, I just want Eldians of both Paradis and Liberio live freely and happily and I don't want the entire world to be destroyed. Eren wants the first part (at least for Paradis) and Zeke wants the second. Armin save us!
I don’t see why so many fans are surprised about Eren’s behavior. He was 9 when he killed two men willingly. He’s always so full of hate during some of his titan fights. That boy will always prioritize what he personally believes is right in the moment, even if it ruins his friendships. He does care a lot, which is why he’s so passionate about his actions, & that’s dangerous.
I really liked the visuals, I feel like Issayama is having a lot of fun drawing these paths chapters.
The Reiss kids actively wanted Frieda to kill Grisha so why was he even conflicted about killing them, smh
We have Three-eyed raven time travel magic now, won’t be surprised to see Greenseers, Skinchangers or dragons in the future.
I tear up every chapter recently man. every time we revisit old memories, something is revealed or people talk about their dreams. It all just makes me realize how much time has passed and how we’re so close to the end. Fantastic 10th anniversary chapter and a fitting reveal of the Attack Titan’s power. It really highlights how while this is Eren/Grisha’s story, but really it’s the Attack Titan’s. They’re connected through that Titan but simply because of that Titan this entire history can be made. And that’s why the work’s title is also the name of the one thing that drives this story, much like itself, forward. 進撃の巨人
Zeke’s PowerPoint presentation was completely hijacked. There is no objective truth regarding heroes and villains. However, it remains unclear whether what Eren wants is ideal for everyone, eldians or just the people Who aren’t important people to him. I still think the rumbling is bogus. It’s been talked about way too much, if it were to happen where’s the shock? Also it screws everyone over because of how fire tornadoes work.  
I wish Eren would teach me 9D chess
You think they have sour cream in paths? (PT:: We missed you!)
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gadaursan · 5 years
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Worldbuilding shenanigans for my self indulgent KHR x BNHA AU so far because I want to make the multichapter fever dream I have in my notes but I can’t until I have established rules:
Flame system is cancelled, everyone’s Flames are reconfigured as really strong, stupidly complicated, or actually well implemented Quirks. This is for my sanity. Fight me.
Rewritten Tsuna’s Dying Will Mode in general is either the most complicated Quirk to explain or the most awful Quirk to have because you literally cannot figure out its power unless you got killed a lot
Will write some sort of index long post discussion about this once the main 10th gen kids are figured out
I’m going to forget that the Shimon Arc turned into an absolute mess but I have no idea how I would have rewritten it... yet
I love Enma and Adelheid with all my heart, I just... have no idea what they’d be doing at that time
Daemon Spade is still an ass regardless of what plot would be a replacement for the latter half of the Shimon Arc
Tempted to make AFO responsible for the stupid shit the Shimons went through but would that be too out there and weird?
Trinisette is also cancelled. Fight me on this, too.
Shit I have no idea how Arcobaleno works now. Why did I do this?
Reborn still obligated to be a baby for a couple years before he gets to age properly ofc
I realized I fucked up really bad when I said Tsuna destroyed turned Vongola into a Pro Hero organization like...
How the fuck did the Vindice let Tsuna get away with breaking Omerta like this?
Did the Vindice die because All for One was like “gimme some of that dying will bullshit” but Tsuna gave him the middle finger and took his entire family/allies with him, maybe froze his ass just a little bit???
How the fuck did Xanxus agree to this unless he’s so fucking whipped for the Vongola after he got over his “fuck the Vongola establishment I do things my way” or he’s just interested in keeping Vongola strong regardless of who they side with????
In fact, how the fuck did the entire Varia decide “yeah mini boss is totally right let’s stop killing people as much and do all that fluffy cute hero shit”???
The only outcome I see is Lussuria and Mammon actually adjusting the best because Lussuria would be actually good at training/babying Pro Heroes and Mammon doesn’t really care how the money is made so long as they get money
Bel is a whole nother issue I don’t want to think about right now
I fucked up so bad hahahahaha shoot me
A side of angst because Tsuna turning the Vongola Pro Hero was probably a half stupid and difficult decision that likely lost some close allies and friends and family
Who died you ask? Beats me
Probably Iemetsu, not because I don’t like him, but he probably was on the top of AFO’s shitlist when AFO was tried to take over the mafia
Also Nono because somethings going to make Tsuna be Decimo for a bit and AFO would probably make it happen so he could try to influence this kid to take his side (it failed miserably)
Quietly calculates what would happen if I killed fan favorites too
I totally forgot why Deku would need to be involved with the Vongola aside from Tsuna going “wow my buddy Sir Nighteye was training these kids I wanna be friends with them and make sure they’re doing okay after he died”
Part of me wants to gamble on the Dad For One theory so Tsuna has some not so nice reasons to befriend Deku as an extra middle finger to All for One because he’d probably know all about it somehow
Other part of me says “ho don’t do it” because I hate writing with potentially jossed big theories
Will probably find a less speculative motivation later
How does Vongola still make so much money if not many ppl outside of heroes know who the fuck they are and they divested themselves of all most of the shady business practices???
IDK maybe they make the majority wealth from their business and support division who have a huge monopoly in the distribution of parts used for support equipment (ofc they won’t call themselves something as obvious as Vongola they’d be like something quaint like Giannini’s or something)
Like making a whole ass customized suit for a bunch of heroes on a massive scale is hard, there are proabably standard equipment and parts for things as simple as the containers that hold Bakugo’s sweat like no way one design company can make everything from scratch, customized or not
Or maybe the reason they help do dirty jobs for the Pro Heroes and get paid handsomely for it because they don’t fit in the dichotomy of the heroes and villains
The freshly recruited Vongola Pro Heroes must get along REALLY WELL with the Mafioso turned Pro Heroes /s
They probably adore the 10th Gen as bosses for being fair and sorta okay (?) people
Heaven forbid the ones that Xanxus brings onto the Varia like training for the Varia is probably like “forget all the shit you learned in school you’re gonna kill a dude for the Pro Heroes”
Either that or they’re probably happier about the slightly better freedom of not being held to the court of public opinion so they’re far rougher than the Billboard ranked Pro Heroes (I still can’t get over how Pro Heroes are ranked like pop stars in this world)
Oh my god Hero Killer Stain would hate the Vongola so much...
Probably may have to resort to potential major original characters to serve as antagonists for the fic probably to challenge the Vongola’s new policy to be more in line with heroes
Was potentially setting up a return of the Todougumi (mentioned in the Shie Hassaikai arc as having been destroyed)
Also likely some mafia family who resent the Vongola deeply for not honoring Omerta even after the Vindice could not longer uphold it
Tsuna probably has plans to not make the Vongola absolutely private after all and wants them to go public and so shit happens and it throws a wrench in those plans probably because since when has anything Tsuna done go smoothly?
The Public Safety Commission probably made Hawks work with Vongola to get pointers on how to properly infiltrate the League
I have not read/watched Reborn in years, so my memory of everyone’s characters is probably so out of whack where Tsuna is probs snarkier than canon and is a little nuts after too much exposure to mafia bullshit
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weareallfallengods · 5 years
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Survival
Writing prompt:
If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?
I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.
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Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.
At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.
When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.
See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.
But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."
And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.
I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.
And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.
His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.
On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.
But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.
But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.
And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.
Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.
The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.
But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.
They found me.
I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.
See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.
Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?
And I was now 25.
It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.
I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.
I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.
And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.
And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.
This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.
Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.
I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.
And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?
Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.
I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.
I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.
So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.
And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."
As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.
The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.
I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.
"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.
I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.
-Soon,
Baddar"
Well, this is interesting.
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mydaydreams · 6 years
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Nightmare-Bucky Barnes
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Summ- what happens when Bucky wakes from a nightmare choking the love of his life. 
Story May be triggering to some readers 
Warnings- sex, swearing, choking 
Authors note- tumblr has been real mean to me lately. wont let me post. that's why I have been inactive. let me know if you have a prompt of something else you guys would like me to write for you. 
Nightmare   Bucky and I have been together for about 5 months now. things were starting to get pretty serious. I at least knew it was getting serious when he finally told me who he really was and introduced me to all of his friends/team mates. that night he told me his 'Story'...well I guess he told me some of it. at one point he started crying and I had to stop him. I wanted to know what all he had been through but I didn't want t see him in pain. I didn't want him to relive it all just to tell me. I had to stop him and tell him that I didn't care. he didn't have to finish. I told him I loved him no matter what. he told me no one has ever told him they loved him before. he said that he loves me too and he warned me. he warned me that because I was with him I was putting my life in danger. I told him I did not give a damn. I loved him and I wanted to be with him. that was my choice. he promised me that he wouldn't let anything happen to me regardless. 
As if the world was out to get us, a week later I was kidnapped. I don't know I guess I wasn't as fazed by it as usual kidnap victims are.  didn't freak out and I wasn't scared after. No PTSD, I didn't go through anything. it honestly wasn't that big of a deal for me, this angered Bucky. he thought I should be mad at him for not keeping me safe. he was confused and mad that I wasn't frightened. I laughed it off and told him it was because I was literally unconscious the whole time. literally. some Hydra agent needed that smallest amount of info and decided to steal me. he found out where I lived and broke in while I was sleeping. the man chloroformed me and took me. I didn't know anything had happened till I woke up. I was on some medical table with Bucky Tony and Bruce hovered over me. I had an IV in me and Bucky was looking as guilty as ever. I remember the augment we had that night. the one that almost ruined us...
"I cant believe I let this happen." Bucky said pacing around his living area. we were at the tower and I was going to be staying that night. me and Bucky had just gotten in his room. "Bucky baby its not that big of a deal." I said trying to reach for him. "Not that big of a deal? you were gone. taken right out from under me Y/N. he could have tortured and beaten you!" he said I sighed and ran my hand up his arm. "but I wasn't." he scoffed "you could have been killed or...or" I shushed him. "Bucky. I'm here. I'm okay. you did protect me, you got me out. you got me back, you kept me safe. Please Bucky." I said softly. "He could have Rapped you Y/N." he said closing his eyes and shaking his head, as if to shake the thought out of his brain. "Bucky..." I whispered. "I cant be with you anymore."  my heart stopped. "Wha..What?" I asked shaking my head. "No!" I said stepping back. "What are you even??? what do you even mean? you cant be serious." I said, like him trying to shake the thought out of my head. my breathing quickened and tears started to burn in my eyes. "Buck... you cant leave me. we just,..." the tears started falling as I took another two steps away from him. "I cant be with you if I'm putting your life and safety at risk, Y/N I cant." he said stepping forward and taking my hand. I snatched my hand out of his. "that's not your choice to make Bucky. I chose you. My choice." I said stomping my foot like a child. " if you didn't wanna be with me or anyone because you would be putting my lives in danger why did you talk to me? why did you peruse me? why did you as me out?" I asked my voice rising. he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily. "And most importantly why the FUCK did you make me Fall in love with you just to fucking dump me after the first scare James....I...I cant fucking take this. I'm fucking out of here." I said crying and walking towards the door. he grabbed my arm and yanked me to him. "Y/N please I'm just trying to find a solution. I don't wanna leave you, I don't wanna loose you, I love you too baby please." he said as if I could do anything to fix the stupid situation we are in. " ‘Baby please’ what? I cant give you some magic solution to your ridiculous notion that you can keep me safe 24/7. you cant move in with me and stay with me all day every day to make sure I'm 100% safe at all times. Bucky, your my boyfriend not my fucking body guard!" I said his eyes widened and he paused for a second. he looked up at me after a moment and started to speak again. "that could work actually." he said thinking. I rolled my eyes and scoffed "what could work Bucky?" I asked the corners of his lips lifted slightly. he turned and grabbed a hold of both of my hands. he looked into my eyes and smiled "lets move in together." he said softly. my heart spiked. "what?" I asked. he smiled wider. "well. I cant be around you 24/7 like you said. after all I do have a job and I have to safe the world quite often but, if we were to live together I could be with you every night if I'm not on missions. and when I am on mission you could stay that the tower with the others." he explained as he pulled me to his chest.
 live with me.
 he wants to live with me. I would have to talk to him later about how I didn't need to be babysat but living together is a huge step forward. a step forward that I want to take with Bucky. 
After we cooled down we sat together and watched a movie and talked about all the kinks of moving in. we talked about getting an apartment somewhere in the city. maybe even in the same building as Steve's. Bucky thought it would be cool to have an apartment across the hall from him. he said it reminded him of the show Friends, I had recently gotten him to watch. he loved the show. we thought about getting a place in the tower maybe... but then again I already didn't wanna be baby sat and having Stark Cameras on my every move was the ultimate invasion of privacy. I don't know how Bucky could live here already with all the stark surveillance. after a few hours our fight was forgotten and we went to bed a completely content with the moving in together compromise. 
that night I woke up with a start. my air way was cut off and I was couldn't to breath. my mouth and nose were blocked off and there was a sharp paid in my neck. my eyes shot open to meat Bucky's blue eyes, his pupils were dilated like hell and his face was red. "Buck-y" I managed to say as his grip around my neck got tighter. "Buck!" I gasped. his grip tightened and tightened I tried gasping for air and I couldn't get any. the pressure in my eras was reaching unbearable and tears burned in my eyes. I was screaming in my head. the love of my life was literally choking me to death. " Touch her and I will kill you!" he said softly. I tried kicking and scratching at him but he wouldn't budge "I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" he Screamed looking me straight in the eyes. Fear pierced my heart as I was seconds from giving up before his bedroom door flew open and Vison was next to us in seconds. Sam wasn't far behind as they both pulled him off of me. Steve and Natasha came running in the room finally as I tried to catch a breath. my hands flew to my throat as I still couldn't breath. Natasha was at my side and lifting me from the bed. I tried making hand singles at her. trying to tell her even though bucks hands were gone I still couldn't breath. the pain on my throat was so much. I was hysterically crying. trying to mouth the words "its hurts its hurts I cant breath I cant breath." I touched my face with my hand and it was burning hot. I could feel Natasha cradling me in her arms right before I slowly passed out.
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Natasha told me that I slept for 3 days when I woke. I was still at the tower just in the recovery clinic in a different part of the building. I was in a room with blue walls, laying In Stark's version of what a hospital bed should be and I had to say I agree. my whole body was super comfortable and they had me on so many fancy drugs, I couldn't feel a thing. the only reason I even knew there was a problem was because I couldn't talk. when Sam first came to visit a few days later he told me it was a good thing that I couldn't talk. I wanted to laugh but I just wrote "fuck you" on the white board that Tony gave me to communicate. 
on my 4th night being awake but my 10th night being in the clinic I finally looked at myself in the mirror. I would have gasped if I could even move my mouth at all. my whole Neck was bruised and swollen. the swelling was so bad it forced my face upward. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I looked like that. I broke down crying. I fell to the floor and hugged my knees to my chest.
on my 13th day in the clinic I finally talked with Natasha and Wanda about how I was truly feeling. they had been good friends to me ever since I met them. I had grown really close to Natasha and even more so now that she had helped me after Bucky...  "So, Can you tell us what happened?" Wanda asked sitting on the Sofa across from me. Natasha sat at my feet on the bed looking up at me with wondering eyes. a part of me knew what every one was thinking but not saying out loud. every one was scared Bucky had done this on purpose. as if he wanted to hurt me. as if he was an abuser. everyone thought these horrible things could be true but not me. I knew. every one knew Bucky had crazy nightmares like this. Hes done this before! he just hasn't ever hurt anyone before. I wrote on the white board "Dreaming, Kept Screaming 'Touch her I Kill you'" they both sighed and I know the sighs are of relief. no one had told me anything about Bucky since I got in. I erased that then wrote "I know he didn't mean it... I just hope he still wants to be with me." tears started running down my face as I showed them then erased and wrote "I Know he must blame himself." I looked down for a moment not wanting to see their reactions. I finally looked back up and put a question mark on my board. they just looked at me. I looked back to my board and wrote "We talked about getting a place together... somewhere in Steve's building maybe..." I looked up at them and tried to smile with my lips but I just couldn't. Natasha find of smiled but she looked as if she was withholding information. I would have sighed with frustration if I could. instead I wrote on my board " this isn't much of a talk."
on the 20th day I had it. The swelling on my neck was gone and I could move my head and face. I was walking around more on my own but I decided against leaving my little room days ago. I thought if Bucky wanted to see me he would come and visit, but also why would he want to visit. he hurt me. not on purpose but he hurt me he must be thinking that he needs to stay away from me. he must be thinking he couldn't protect me from kidnappers and he cant even protect me from himself. he probably wants to break things off with me to "protect me" he wouldn't wanna live with me after this, much less be with me. I spent most of the day crying. every one left me alone that day. even Natasha. they all probably knew I was crying and didn't come in.
the next day Natasha came to visit and after about 2 hours of small talk I couldn't do it any more. it was driving me crazy not being near Bucky and it was driving me crazy being stuck in this fucking room for weeks without him.  I wrote on my board "he's not coming is he?" I don't even know why I wrote the question mark. shit I don't even know why I wrote the question. I knew it deep inside. I knew it 100% though when I saw the look on Nat's face. it was instant tears. she closed her eyes and rubbed my knee as I cried. anger spiked through me. I chucked the white board across the room. it hit the Wall with a loud satisfying crack that made Nat flinch.
 I just pointed at the door.
 the second she closed the door, I was up and putting my things together. I shoved everything that Nat had brought for me in the bag...that she also had brought for me, and I put my shoes on. I had ditched the hospital gown when I as first woken up but today I was in a tank top and some sweats. 
when I got myself completely together I finally left the room and headed down the hall. I left my keys in Buckys room so I needed to go there and get them before I actually leave. I tip toed around the tower and only took the stairs. I'm just happy I could finally breath on my own and that I was still pretty athletic or all the flights of stairs I took would have totally killed me.
 I wanted to check the gym before actually going to his room. if he's upset and I know he must be he should be spending most of his time in the gym and if he's in the gym he wont be in the room and if he's not in the room I don't have to run into him. decides, he doesn't wanna see me anyway. 
when I saw that he was in fact at the gym beating the shit out of a punching bag it took all I had in me too tare my eyes away. all I wanted to do was run in there and kiss him. i shook my head and ran to his room and quickly grabbed one of my jackets and my keys then left. I went out the back way. I already know they know I'm leaving and I know who ever found out first has probably already had someone sent after me, so when I finally hit the parking lot I was in a full dead ass sprint. I already knew they were coming and I already know that they know where I'm going but I'm still going to the same place. My Apartment. in not about to change my destination I don't care if I'm found, I just wanna be at home. 
when I finally got home I wasn't surprised to see Natasha and Steve already here and sitting on my couch. I just rolled my eyes and threw my keys on the kitchen counter and threw my bag on the floor. if I had my board... I don't even know or care what I would say with it. I didn't say anything at all. all I did was walk to my fridge grad a bottle of wine and a glass.
 I saw Steve start to stand but Natasha held her hand out stopping him. I laughed in my head, my girl knows I need a drink. I poured a deep ass glass and drank the whole thing in under 30 seconds. I started pouring another glass when Steve spoke. "He Loves you." he said Natasha sighed at his words. I closed my eyes and took another deep ass gulp. I wanted to say 'if he did he'd be here.' I shook my head at the thought as Natasha actually said my thought out loud. 
I would have scoffed if I could. no she cant read my mind, but she defiantly knows what I'm thinking. Steve sighed and closed his eyes for a moment too. I lifted my glass and waved it around as if to say ' I know I know I just wish he would be here.' and Natasha reading my mind again said " she understands the situation and understands why he thinks he should stay away but she needs him and he's not here." she said I closed my eyes again and let the moisture fall down my face as I took another sip. after about 2 more glasses and me crying silently in front of them I grabbed a pin and paper.  Bucky, you know I don't care, you know I love you, you know I forgave you. I'm here if you want me. if you don't I get it, but ill be home if you do. if it makes it easier, I will never be happy without you. - Forever yours Regardless - Y/N
I handed them the paper and down the glass. I threw it in the sink roughly, effectively breaking it and tossed the empty bottle into the trash. I turned and looked over to them. they were on there feet now. probably startled by the glass breaking. I just shrugged at them and walked into my room to jump on my bed face first. when Natasha entered she sighed and sat something down on my bed side. "these are the meds your supposed to take them every day now but ill be here to make you take them every day anyway." she said matter of factly. " Tony said the green ones are for discomfort, you take one the second you start to feel any pain. this other bottle is for healing and this other one has words I don't even know on it but...ill be here to make sure you take them anyway." she repeated. she shot me a look each time she said so. "we'll let you rest, umm just call me when you wake up. remember the green ones are for pain." she said I didn't bother looking up from where my face was firmly planted in my sheets. I just lifted my hand up and gave her a sarcastic thumbs up. although she probably doesn't know its sarcasm. 
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crying and drinking!
 that's what I have been doing for the past 5 days. that's 26 days without the love of my life. in my opinion, you start going through withdrawals. I'm more nervous and shaky. I've been biting my nails off and the worst part about feeling this is the giant gapping whole that has formed in my chest. its as if I'm being torn up from the end side out. like there is this black whole in my chest that's gonna swallow me up the longer I'm away from him.
 the pain was unbearable. Starks green pills didn't work for this pain. I had cried for 2 days straight. I went ahead and texted tony about it hoping he could either help more with the pain or better yet knock some since in my favorite super soldier. 
Tony some how rigged it so I had paid time off at my work. they were sending my checks right to my apartment. I didn't know how long I would have that leave from work but my voice had finally started coming back. and the bruising on my neck was a blue greenish color now so the healing had been working. Without Starks Magic I'm sure it would have taken me at least 8 weeks in ICU before I could do anything on my own. my voice was still very raspy but Natasha was helping me with it. "Tony says in 2 weeks you will be singing again. he said he knew you would be pissed if you couldn't sing anymore so he made you this special gum that you can take to somehow help your vocal cords." Nat told me. I smiled up at her and spoke softly "he's right, I would be pissed." she let out a small laugh. 
that day Natasha convinced me to go to the mall with her. I caved and we actually found some really cute clothing and some cute decorations. I know I shouldn't be looking for things to decorate me and Bucky's now fictional apartment but I had too. I still had hope me would get his head out of his ass. on our way our of that particular store we walked past a spa. Natasha was the one who actually stopped and was pulling me inside. I just smiled and went in with her. if there is ever a chance to get Natasha in a girlly place like this, I'm taking it. I actually ended up getting my hair cut. Short and cute. at least that's what Natasha called the cut. she said it was just like me repeating "Short and cute." it made me laugh. it felt good to laugh. on our way out of the mall we got stopped. a very handsome tall blonde man walked over to us. I assumed he was hitting on Nat. he had a very welcoming vibe and his bright green eyes would be something to melt over. "Well Daring? would you at least take my number?" he asked. I guess I spaced out. was he actually talking to me? that made me smile so I went ahead and took his number and said thank you. I shoved the number in my back pocket as I felt my face heat up. Nat just smiled at me as we mad our way to the exit.
when we got back to the apartment we unloaded everything I had gotten and put everything away. when finished Nat Sat on the couch of my living room and I walked into the kitchen to make us glasses of wine. I walked back over to her and handed her, her glass and sat with her. "you've been drinking an awful lot lately." she commented. I gave her a look.
 there went my first good day. 
"when the Love of your life chocks you in your sleep then dumps you by saying nothing at all we will see what your fucking poison is!" I snapped. I shook my head and took a sip before speaking again " I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." she nodded " I know, and I know how your feeling. well I mean, I know what its like to get hurt by the winter soldier and not Bucky." she said taking a drink of her wine. my eyebrows raised. as she pulled her shirt up a bit showing me a big round blotchy scar. "when on a mission, I was assigned to protect someone. the winter soldier showed up and shot right through me to kill the guy. Bucky still comes up to me sometimes..." she says pulling her shirt back down and taking a drink. I joined her. "to apologize." she finished. that made my heart warm. I gave her a soft smile and she returned it by touching my knee kindly. I looked down and took a deep breath. "if it makes you feel any better..." she said starting to gently run her hand up and down my thigh. " Bucky hasn't spoken to anyone since he hurt you. not even Steve." she told me.
 I sighed that didn't make me feel any better. that didn’t make me feel better at all. he's just as alone and depressed as I am. that doesn't make me feel good. Bucky in pain makes me hurt. in fact that made me want to cry. my heart sped up and my face I could tell was turning red before the tears started to fall. "he's not coming is he?" she casted her eyes downward and I just broke all over again. she grabbed me and pulled me to her as I cried.
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the next few days went by in a blur. 8 more days. 34 Days without him. I cleaned my house dirtied it up and cleaned it again. hell I even rearranged my furniture out of boredom. I debated on going back to work but I knew I would leave when I got there. I don't wanna do anything anymore. I don't wanna do anything without him. today it rained. it stared raining at about 7:32 am and it hasn't stopped yet. I sat at my windowsill, a glass of wine in hand as I watched the rain fall. when me and Bucky first met... it was in the rain.
 I was completely drenched as I walked through the park. I wore my yoga's and running shoes to workout in the ran. I was jogging though the park just like Bucky was. we had literally ran right into each other. both of us at a full sprint in the rain turning a sharp corner. we crashed into each other and slipped together on the pavement. I fell on my back while his weight fell on top of me. his body hit mine with a smack we both let out a loud groan. he looked down at me or a moment then lifted his torso up and off of mine and rested his weight in his Metal arm? I looked into his eyes for a moment. I don't know how long we laid on the ground just watching each other. he looked at me like I was the only person in the world. he blinked and looked down at my lips, then back to my eyes. "I'm Bucky."
I pulled the wine bottle up and poured. I was starting to think that maybe he was just...maybe it wasn't as serious as I thought it was. our relationship. I know its only been 8 months and that 8th month I have been here hurt, without him.
 its been raining all daybut I hadn't cried once. that 'once' should have been a 'yet' as the tears of the day finally started falling. I leaned against a see-though window crying my eyes out. I just wanted to be outside in the rain. with him again.
I walked outside my front door slowly. I was wearing black short shorts and a white tank. my feet were bare as I took the first step past the threshold of my apartment. I felt the cool concrete under my toes as I walked slowly out to the courtyard that's outside my widow. I felt a drop of water fall on my foot. just one drop and I wasn't out from under the complexes roofing yet. I stopped and sighed realizing it was one of my tears. I rolled my eyes at myself and took another sip of my wine. I walked out from under the roofing and felt the wet grass under my feet. the water started to fall down one me soaking my clothing and wetting through my hair. I covered my wine glass with my hand to protect the wine and then I looked up to the sky. I watched the water fall and the stars staying still and shining bright between the cracks of the water drops. I gulped down the rest of the wine and through the glass on the ground. it slid on the wet grass until finally reaching the street and crashing against the curb and breaking under someone's feet. I looked up and my breath cached. 
"Buck." 
"W-what are you doing here?" I choked out as he slowly started to approach me. he was in his civilian clothes. a regular grey shirt and jeans with his favorite black jacket. his hair was soaked and sticking to his face. along with the rest of his body. I didn't look at him as he got closer. "I-I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore. you haven't come to see me after..." I stroked my neck. "I know....I know I'm sorry. I d-don't know w-why I didn't come I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you I cant even believe I could do something like that...well I know I can do things like that but just not to you.... if Vison wasn't awake you would be dead Y/N, a-and when I finally came too I had thought I had killed you." he said yelling over the rain. by now he had reached for me. both of his hands were on my arms gripping them tightly but I didn't dare flinch. "I saw you trying to breath a-and then falling limp on the ground. I thought I had killed you. how could I live with myself knowing I had did that to you. almost taking the love of my life's, life away." he said I finally looked up at him
Love of his life 
"Love of your life?" I asked. he smiled down at me "the love of my life!" he repeated. I smiled up at him and looked down at his arms by now he had one hand on my hip and the other on my cheek. "your not afraid of touching me?" I asked looking back up at him. "its a part of why I stayed away. I don't wanna hurt you b-but.....Natasha.." was all he said. and everything came into place. she talked to him for me. probably told him how I felt and how he felt and we are miserable without each other. I couldn't believe this. I turned my head to the side and looked around. I looked down at my feet and misplaced my footing. "this cant be real..."  whispered. the grip on my hip tightened and I slipped. we fell together on the wet grass. we both let out startled groans. Bucky leaned out to look at me. his body was on top of mine, his lower body rested in between my legs. "I didn't think I would get you back into this position for a long while." I joked. he looked at me and let out a huff in a laugh. he lifted his hand and moved wet hair out of my face then his hand ran down my face and around my chin and further down to stroke my neck. I lifted my head up giving him more access. he flinched away from me when I did that. I grabbed his wrist and made him touch my neck. "I'm okay, I've been healing well, its okay. I love you!" I said making his hand cup my face. "please please don't be afraid." he whispered his voice broken. it was almost hard to hear over how heavy it was raining. "Never, I'll never be afraid. I'll only love you I swear just stay with me please. I cant live without you." I said. "and I cant live without you!" he said I smiled and grabbed the back of his neck to pull his lips to mine.
it was like it usually was, or how it used to be. kissing Bucky was like my first and last kiss all at the same time. every kiss with him is my first and last. he's the world to me. it was like that kiss could last forever. Just us under the stars as the rain fell all over us. like the first time we met but with a kiss. my lips tingled, my body tingled. every time we touched I knew it was meant to be. he pulled away and looked down at me. "I like what you did with your hair." he complemented. I blushed "thank you." he smiled every time he complemented me it felt like the first."Come on babe your getting cold. lets get you inside." he said pulling us both to our feet. I went to dust myself off but there is no point due to the rain. I then felt Bucky's Metal arm sweep me up. he was carrying me back to the apartment. 
when inside he walked me into the room and set me down on my bed in the bedroom. "I like what you did with the place." he said looking around while running his free hand in his hair. " get those wet clothes off and into your robe. I'm gonna draw you a bath." he said kissing my temple. "thanks." I said nodding and removed my clothing slowly while he left the room. after a second I heard the water running. I sighed and walked to my closet and pulled out my floor length floral rode and wrapped it around my body. I was happy he's here, that he's back with me, that he wants me still. I'm happy he isn't afraid to touch me. I wondered what Natasha had told him or talked to him about. I wanna know but I also don't care. as long as I get my Bucky back. 
he walked back into the bedroom with his shirt and shoes off. his wet pants clung to his legs as he reached for me. I took a hold of him and he pulled me to the bathroom. when I walked in it was warm. there was steam coming up from the clear water that filled the tub and the air smelled of lavender. I smiled and turned to face him. he kissed me softly and pilled the string of my rode and pushed the fabric off my shoulders letting the material fall to the ground. he looked at me nervously.
 " I know that I hurt you by not coming sooner. a-and I know its going to take a while for you to fully forgive my betrayal. I understand how much I hurt you. Natasha explained and I never wanted you to go through even more pain then the pain I had already inflicted on you. I love you and I wanna be with you. I wont be with you if you don't want to but I know you do love and want to be with me so ill stay until you don't want me anymore. and ill try my best to never hurt you again. Tony gave me drugs to take before I sleep every night. he said it would help paralyze me when I'm unconscious. so I can sleep and dream without hurting you. I wont touch you until you want me to but would you like to take a bath with me?" he stammered over his words nervously as he talked. trying his best but rushing the words out.
 I just nodded in response and he pulled the rest of his clothes off. he took a hold of me and lifted me up before stepping into the tub and slowly crouching down to sit. "its a little warm Doll." he said before he placed me in between his legs. my back against his chest and his legs on either side of mine. the hot water stung for a moment but felt really amazing against my still sore skin. I hummed and leaned back against him, happy to feel his heart again, his warmth. his heart beat stammered for a few beats before he took a breath "you didn't ever call that guy, did you?" he asked. I turned my head to the side so I could look at him. "what guy?" I asked wondering what turned his mood to jealousy. "that guy that gave you his number while you and Nat were at the mall." he spoke matter of factly. I huffed out a small laugh "Really Bucky?" I rolled my eyes "I never called him. his number if probably still in my pants pocket in the laundry." said. he sighed and I laughed. "I've only ever been yours Bucky." I said kissing his shoulder. he sighed again and poured soap on a luffa and rubbed it in. he slowly began running it over my arms, across my shoulders, and down my legs. it felt good to have his hands on me.
 I let out a relaxed sigh as he washed the last 35 days from my body. the luffa found its way back up my body and he made it a point not to run it across any intimate body parts and it was honestly starting to torture me. I slowly ran my index finger up and down his inner thigh before grabbing the wrist that held the luffa and slowly made him run it over both of my breasts. I could felt his heart skip as I did so. I laid my head back against his shoulder closed my eyes and hummed as I slowly lead his hand down towards my center. the hand that I was leading to my core was his metal one. before I could reach he's hand where it needed to be he stopped "please baby, not this hand." he whispered. my eyes fluttered open to see his. "I love this hand, and there is nothing you can do about it. I love every part of you. I am still upset. but I'm more happy that you even here to began with. please touch me Bucky." I begged.
 his other hand creeped downward. he grabbed the Luffa with his flesh hand and cleaned my center gently. I let out a soft moan and quickly got over the fact that he switched hangs. he removed the luffa and let his hand wonder back down. he separated my folds with his thumb and pinky and his index finger made contact with my already acing clit. my mouth hung open as he started making slow circles with it. I sighed out a long moan as I felt my heat mix with the water in between my legs. I held a hard grip with each of my hands on each other Bucky's thighs. I felt him grow under my but as his one finger slowly took me just how I liked. when I came he lifted one my legs and hooked his metal arm around it holding it open as he slowly slid a finger into and curled it to hit my sweet spot. my mouth flew open as he did the same motion again but this time made sure the palm of his hand was still stimulating my tingling clit. I shook helplessly. "Mmmmm Bucky." I moaned and bit down on his shoulder. "shh shh shh. I got you, just relax. ill get you there again baby." he whispered sexy in my ear. I moaned again as he used multiple fingers to plunge in and out of me hotly. "fuck bucky Fuck Fuckk."  I practically screamed as I came hard again. "Fuck I love you!" I said backing up against his cock. he jumped. "we don't have to do me baby. I just want you to feel good." he said kissing my back in between my shoulder blades. 
" I want too!" I said quickly turning towards him and successfully sinking down on his hard thick shaft. he groaned and placed both his hand on my hips and leaned back against the tile wall. I slowly lifted up and back down on him over and over. I rested one hand on his shoulder for balance so I could move faster on his cock and I brought the other one up and around the back of his neck so I could pull him in for a long and sloppy kiss. "I love you...I love you... I love you!" I said against his lips each time I sunk down on him. "Fuck I love you too!" he said kissing down my face slowly reaching my neck. I grinded against him slowing our pace making it more intimate as his finger traced the small bruises left on my neck. I put my fore head against his and locked eyes with him and grind down over and over. "I forgive you for that Bucky. I love you!" I said again grabbing his metal hand and holding it against my chest in between my breast. his eyes glistened and a small tear fell from his eye and he thrusted upward into me. "I will never leave you. Ever." he said as my legs began to shake once more "I will never leave you!" I repeated back to him as I came around him. he softly moaned as I felt his cum fill my insides. I rode out our highs till my body fell slack and stuck against his chest. 
after about 10 minutes of laying in the water like that he finally slid out of me and lifted me from his chest. "lets get to bed baby!" he said standing In the tub with me in his arms. I smiled and closed my eyes as he turned the bathroom light out and walked into the bedroom. he moved the covers out of the way and slid our wet bodies inside and covered us up. "oh hold on!" he said leaning back over the bed and grabbing his pants off the floor. he grabbed a yellow pill bottle opened it and popped a pill. I rolled my eyes as he threw the jeans back on the ground and turned back to me. he wrapped me in his arms and pulled the covers back over us. "ill do whatever I can to never hurt you again baby. I am so sorry." he said kissing one of the many yellowy bruises on my neck. I smiled and turned to kiss him. "don't even worry about it. I'm with you, till the end of the line!" I said laying my head down on his chest, closing my eyes and slowly falling asleep finally back in his arms.
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Black Panther Review!
SO For the first time since my surgery I put my contacts in and did my hair and my makeup and wore Real Clothes instead of yoga pants to get out and FINALLY see Black Panther and it was totally worth how many times I had to re do my eyeliner (four, because I suck at make up and have worn it a grand total of ten times in my life) AND it was totally worth the freezing cold theater and even though I had a massive migraine, I refused to let it bug me. 
So here we go. A list of everything I loved about the characters, favorite lines, maybe a little of my thoughts on the scenes. 
Heads up for spoilers below the cut!
First of all, just a heads up, every person in the movie was beautiful. Every single one of them. My poor worthless pansexual heart was DYING over it all. 
(Oh also, very quickly-- there was a new Coke ad before the movie where they very clearly mentioned Non Binary people (them) and LGBT (lesbians) in their montage of people who Coke was for and it was honestly lovely.)
The movie takes place a WEEK after T’Chaka dies in Vienne in CACW, so literally just a day or two after Tony is left in Siberia to die and it just brought up all these Post-CACW feels for me and also like... Tchalla you poor thing, this has been a hell of a week for you, omg. 
Chadwick Boseman/T Challa opened his mouth to speak and I almost melted through the floor. His accent is gorgeous and the words are so smooth its almost a little difficult to understand but so so beautiful. 
The way T’Challa looks at Nakia with these amazing puppy dog eyes. He loves her so much, looks at her as if she is his whole world and even though he asks her to stay with him, he respects her enough to not push the issue when she says there is other things she needs/wants to do. 
The Queen Mother! Angela Basset in all her glory! I love her and her endless beauty, may she reign forever. 
SHURI! You guys SHURI was the cutest fucking thing Ive ever seen in my life! Everything about her was equal parts bratty little sister making sure her newly crowned brother doesnt get cocky, and loyal Wakandan determined to use every bit of her genius to save her country and I love her?!
Also MORE GROSS to you guys who want to ship her with anyone. She is just so obviously a child in this. Yes, a teenager, but still a child, right down to the pranks she pulls and the way she dresses (minus her ceremonial clothing which was pretty enough to make me need some of my own) she is just a baby, stop trying to over sexualize her and ship her with older men. (or anyone for that matter. Let her be sixteen and giggly and adorable for as long as she can be). 
OKOYE. Where do I even start with this woman? First of all, she was bald (as were the rest of the dora milaje) and this is sort of a big thing for black women. Because there is a whole toxic idea of black women not being able to grow hair, or being bald as if its a bad thing, and I LOVE so much the scene in Korea where they are in disguise and she has to wear a wig and says “This is a DISGRACE” because for her to have to cover her head, her tattoos that show her culture and her status is an insult to her very person, and I love that she is angry about it. That to fit in to a white mans world, to be acceptable, she must change/cover up something fundamental to her identity, and she is ANGRY about it and I love it. 
I also love that she was allowed to be angry. Black people in general are already seen as “angry”, as the aggressors, and women are taught to hide it away as if its shameful to feel anything in the extreme, but ESPECIALLY anger because then we are just “another bitter black woman” and it is so important that she and the others are allowed to be ANGRY, visibly and audibly angry at what happens (for example, when one of their own dies.). Its raw and honest, and in its honesty, it is beautiful. 
I need me a red dress like hers just so I can feel like 1/10th of a BAMF as she is. 
“If he touches you again, i will impale him on that table” 
“Does she speak English”
“When she wants to” 
I loved everything about that interaction between Okoye and Ross. Very reminiscent of the moment between Okoya and Natasha “Move, or I will move you” and in both scene T Challa is sort of laughing over it because he knows Okoye is about two seconds from fucking someone up. Hilarious. 
Klaw! What an odd Villain, because I felt like he wasnt really a villain. He was just sort of... the guy that was always around the bad guys, and then ultimately nothing more than a tool to be used for Killmongers vengeance. His sonic hand was a nice nod to the comic character who is just solid sound and emits it through his hand. And he was just amazingly obnoxiously AMERICAN and I both loved and hated him for that. 
Nakia. How I love her. Not only is she entirely her own person, doing what she feels is right, but she is fucking FIERCE and gorgeous and smart and is not about to give up what she wants/needs because T Challa is in love with her. In fact, I love very much that the T Challa/Nakia love story wasnt even... a story. It wasnt even a driving force of the movie. She didnt have to get hurt to inspire him to greatness. She didnt have to break his heart to give him something to fix, really she didnt even go searching for a way to save him when he went over the falls, she went looking for the person that could save their country. Their love story was something quiet, something in the background, because a love story is NOT necessary to keep a movie going (do you hear that, oh pushers of the awkward heterosexual relationship to fill the down moments? not necessary). 
HOWEVER, she absolutely was his rock, who he turned to in his moments of need. He crossed country borders and potentially could have ruined her mission (which was reckless and fairly selfish) because he needed her there when he was crowned King, and she wanted to be there for him. She was the only person he told about his uncle’s death and the truth about Erik, and she was the one to help his mother and sister escape because they are just as much her family as his. 
But back to Nakia-- I think one of my favorite scenes is when they go to Korea and she speaks the language so well, laughs over the trouble she gets into, and very much makes it clear to T Challa AGAIN that she has her own life that has nothing to do with him. Holla for Strong Females. 
How much did I love the Queen Mothers hair being blonde/white underneath her beautiful head-dress. Lovely lovely lovely. 
M’Baku. I have mixed feelings about his character. I very much appreciated Marvel NOT using his “man-ape” persona from the comics because hello, that is Racist As Fuck. Instead they made him lord over a people who used the gorilla as a symbol just as other tribes used the rhino/the panther etc. He was all sorts of big and beautiful and the challenge scene at the waterfall was just, brutal and incredible and PRIMAL and honestly there isnt much better than seeing two men (or women) really battle it out with just their strength. Of course the landscape and backdrop was incredible, but the fight scene was just INCREDIBLE. The way MBaku waited until the last minute to yield, the way T Challa BEGGED him to yield. I love it all. 
I thought it was very interesting when Nakia came to him with the heart shaped herb, he didnt accept it. As someone who had challenged T Challa for the throne, I expected him to at least consider it, but it was obvious in his face that he was both honored, and then humbled, and yet still turned it down because he knows T Challa needed it more. 
And yet when T Challa asked him for an army, for help, MBaku turned him down, said that this was the first king in CENTURIES to visit him. CENTURIES. These people had been living in the mountains, cut off from the rest of Wakanda and the other kings hadnt even visited them. No wonder the man is bitter. BUT NOT BITTER ENOUGH TO TURN THE QUEEN MOTHER AWAY. He still promised that she would be safe, no ham would come to her. I love that so much. 
He did not just forgive centuries of being ignored because they need help, but he wasnt willing to completely turn his back either. I thought it was a realistic depiction that kept him very human, versus the usual “no i wont help at all because our ancestors battled” or even the “i have had a sudden change of heart and now will completely help you even if it means giving up my life for you, who I suddenly support.” 
Also, the way he snorted and giggled over his vegetarian joke??? HE SNORTED AND GIGGLED and no one else laughed. Just his big ass on his throne cracking up and everyone else was like uhhhh....
Martin Freeman as Everett Ross. I love that they let his character be a smaller than average, soft spoken, older white man. No one overly intimidating, no one that seems to inspire fear and yet, when they are attacked by Killmonger when he rescues Klaw, Ross THROWS himself on Nakia (who could probably protect herself) and takes a bullet in the spine for her. That bravery, that instinctual “cover the women and children” and how quickly he reacts speaks to more of his character than anything else. 
Also, the end where he “flies” the ship to stop the weapons from being shipped out and Shuri tells him “you are a great pilot AND HE IS A FUCKING GREAT PILOT he wants so badly to save them, and I love that he just doesnt give up. Like, he realizes that how they healed him was damn near impossible, so he will do the impossible to stop the worst from happening. I love it. (Also I just love Martin Freeman)
“Dont scare me like that, colonizer.” 
“My Names Ross.”
“I know.” 
^^^^I laughed so hard my friend frowned at me and I shoved her and said, “quit scowling colonizer” and then laughed harder. She did not think it was funny. 
ERIK KILLMONGER. First of all, the scene where we meet him. Come on. He looks like such a goddamn fuck boy I almost wanted to smack him. Or maybe fuck him. I cant decide lol. I am in love with him though. 
Growing up where I did, I saw so much anger in the black youth, especially the young men, and for that reason it was so hard to see him as a villain. He is just another abandoned black boy in a forgotten neighborhood, who is angry at the system. And yet he is also brilliant and talented and DRIVEN and he pulled himself up out of the situation he was thrown in and now is determined to change everyone elses situation. He talks of how where he is from, the black people who start the revolutions dont have the weapons they need to protect themselves/to ready themselves and its just... its so true in this very painful way, especially now, recently, and I just hurt for him. 
The way he scarred himself, one for every kill so he could work his way up to challenging for the throne. It is horrifying to think of him marking himself after every kill, all around the world because every body was a step closer to his goal. 
I could talk forever about his character, because I think it was a very accurate, interesting look into the truth underneath the “angry black man” that society paints these young men as. 
I wont talk forever though, because holy shit Im actually talking forever lol, but I WILL say, that the differences between Erik and T Challa, from the speech patterns to the way they walked (cocky versus confident) to the way they dressed and talked/treated the women (I would throw a pan at Killmonger if he talked to me like he talked to them lol). it was just an incredible contrast between one who was given EVERYTHING and someone who had to take everything they wanted just to have a SHOT at anything in the world. The difference between rich and poor and the lines that it draws and the different worlds it creates whether we realize it or not. 
The only person I dont want to spend alot of time on is W’Kabi. I have mixed feelings to his joining with Killmonger, but I realize he was driven by vengeance and that can be a poisonous thing. 
HOWEVER, I thought he had one of the most beautiful scenes in the move. Him and Okoye are in love, and yet when it comes to them ready to fight each other, he asks her, “would you fight me, my love” and she says,. “for wakanda i would” (paraphrasing) and HE is the one to put his weapon down. He is the one to sacrifice his vengeance for love. Not the woman. She did not change. She stood strong in what she believed to be right, and he loved her enough to give up what he wanted. 
I love so much that this movie allowed her and other women to be the strong ones, driving the men to make the right choice. 
I will stop rambling now lol 
End Thoughts--- This movie is so important right now, such a wonderful thing for our young people to see-- Strong black characters, who go that way without a history of drugs or jail or anything like that. Strong black women who are beautiful (stunningly so) even without wigs/straightened hair/lighter skin, and Strong black men who are not any less strong for loving the women in their lives and being humbled enough by past mistakes to try and change. 
My favorite line is easily the very last one, where the young black boy asks T Challa-- who are you?
Every white child has had the chance to ask their hero-- batman, superman, spiderman, wonder woman etc etc etc-- who they are. Who is this hero that has saved my life and given me hope and is going to change this seemingly hopeless situation? 
But seeing a little black boy asking the same question-- maybe I read too much into it, but it really struck a cord with me. 
OH and the last scene. 
I will be the first to admit, I was like... foaming at the mouth to see Bucky in Infinity War, with his new arm and a new gun and like YASSSSSS BABY FUCK THEM BOYS UP LET ME SEE YOU KILL SOMEONE. 
But like?? Stepping from a hut looking like Jesus?? Long hair?? Like god Marvel, please just let my baby stay by the lake and meditate with his half pony tail and man bun. PLEASE just let him play with the children who call him White Wolf. PLEASE just let him light scented candles and have the women braid his hair and when Steve comes looking for him, just let him say no I have found inner peace here in my little hut by the water??? 
I JUST WANT HIM TO BE PEACEFUL?!
Alright, thats it. Sorry for the long ass ramble, this literally isnt half of what I wanted to say. Feel free to hit up my ask box about anything black panther related lol 
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iamtaekooked · 6 years
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Vanilla Rules || Ch 6 || pjm
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Genre: Enemies to lovers! au, badboy! au, college! au
Word count: 3.1 k
SYNOPSIS:
The sudden insistence by Yoongi for you to interview Jimin for the basketball game leads to a conversation that forced both of you to throw out your feelings of dislike out in the open. In particular for you it becomes an eye opener of who he really is. Will you still be able to hate him as much after this?
A/N: Here is Ch 6!! This one gets a bit heavy with all the equality and feminism crap I throw in there but its only my opinion so don’t send me hate for it. If you disagree with what I’ve said then I am up for discussing it only if you're not rude about it.  I hope you guys enjoy reading 
Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 ||  Ch 7 || Ch 8 || Ch 9 || 
“Hold on. Why do I have to interview him?” You slammed your hands on the table as you stood up, glaring at each person around the table until all of their eyes refused to meet yours. If it was possible to measure the amount of anger that was coursing through your veins you were sure it would manifest itself as steam bellowing out through your ears.
“ He is your boyfriend isn’t he?” Yoongi piped up, looking at you with a bored expression.
“ WHAT? No he isn’t. You should know that better than everyone!”
He scoffed. “We need this interview y/n. He is the captain of the basketball team and we just won the annual tournament on its 10th anniversary . Out of everyone here you are probably the closest person to him”
“Are you serious Yoongi? Are you forgetting he is sort of your best friend”
“Which is exactly why I cant do it. Conflict of interest. I might be too subjective in my portrayal but I know you won’t” he clicked his tongue as his eyes reverted back to the page in front of him. He was intention steering the meeting ahead but you wouldn’t sit quietly.
Drawing in a deep breath through clenched teeth you spoke up once more. “I am not doing it. Its not my job anyway”
You sat back down, angry flipping the page in front of you.
“Do I need to remind you that as the president of the student union I can oust you from your position? I don’t want to do it because you are one of the most efficient members here but…” he trailed off. Your nostrils flared at the unfairness of the situation but the college student union was something you needed to maintain your scholarship. You didn’t have much room to refuse. The both of you glared daggers at each other and you could sense the other member’s eyes travelling between the two of you.
The tense atmosphere wasn’t of much help in alleviating the building anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
“We are the student union Yoongi, not the college magazine. This should be their job. Not ours”
“I know. But this time the responsibility falls onto us because the president of the magazine club Ae Rim refuses to do it because they have to focus on the debate team since they won the state championship. So that leaves us” You hung your head low in disbelief at how shitty your situation could get. You really didn’t want to do it and if you had to tell him about the bathroom incident you would.
“Can we please talk outside for a moment Yoongi. Its important and it’s totally relevant to all this”
He looked at you for a moment before nodding his head and instructing everyone to start brainstorming ideas for the upcoming interview. He followed you out and shut the door behind him, shoving his hands in his pocket. He looked at you and waited for you to say something.
“Okay look. Something very awkward happened which adds on to my list of reasons for refusing to do this” you paused, closing your eyes and sighing out before continuing. “I caught him in the girl’s washroom and he was…” you trailed off looking at him hoping he would get the hint. But when his face screwed up in confusion you covered your face with your hands in frustration.
“Can’t you figure it out? Am I seriously going to have to say it out loud?” groaning you stood on your tiptoes before putting mouth close to this ear.
“I caught him doing… the thing with one of the girl’s in the fucking bathroom” you whispered.
Stepping away from him your eyes refused to meet his due to the awkwardness you were feeling.  You shifted on your feet uncomfortably partly because you could feel Yoongi looking at you and partly because you were reminded of the gross scene again. The response you were met with wasn’t something you were expecting. Looking in his direction you found Yoongi laughing silently, hand covering his mouth.
“In what world is this funny? Thats disgusting. Why the hell would he do that at college? I mean seriously Yoongi if he really is horny he should go to his own damn house and take care of his shit. Not at college” you finished
“I know.. I know but are you even surprised.? Jimin has always been like this”
He did have a point. Jimin had always been this way and you didn’t understand why he treated women like objects. He had always used women for his own pleasure and then thrown them out of his life like people throw out garbage.
“ Thats perverse you know. The kinds of things he does. Why don’t you stop him? He clearly respects you a lot. I am sure he would listen to you”
“I know. But he’ll learn himself one day. Or maybe you can help him learn the right way. Or don’t. I dont care y/n as long as you get me this interview”
Your eyes were blurring and losing sight of the words you were trying to ink down on the paper. Being forced to create questions for an interview you definitely didn’t want to do was draining to say the least. You couldn’t come up with a single question related to basketball because neither did the sport interest you, nor the meaningless questions you were meant to ask him. Instead your mind wandered about with unspoken questions about Jimin that no one but him could answer.
If you were being honest, in all your years of hatred for the boy you had come to feel something akin to pity towards him because of the hollow life he lived. The way in which he refused to let anyone close to him, to see the person behind the rude and arrogant persona had begun to intrigue you. He wasn’t the bad boy you wanted to fix rather he was someone who reminded you so much of a lost child that at times you couldn’t help but feel bad for him.
That however didn’t excuse his actions. No matter how much you tried to resist giving into his attention antics he always knew how to provoke you. He knew how to push your buttons and aggravate you.
You shifted in the uncomfortable chair and looked around the silent library, eyes widening at the dark sky outside the window. “Shit….” you muttered under your breath as you sloppily gathered your belongings in your arms. Running as best you could with your writing supplies and notebooks threatening to fall from your safe hold, you managed to make it outside the library. Your heart sunk as you saw the darkened hallways.
Rummaging for your phone in the back pocket of your jeans, the ground beneath you gave out as the screen in front of you displayed 11 pm. The campus was probably closed since you couldn’t see any sign of a single person around you.
You legs gave out and you fell onto the floor. The thought of possibly having to spend the night at the campus is something that sent shivers down your spine. You had always hated the dark and never could adjust well with isolated places. It was creepy and chilling. All of a sudden Taehyung flashed in your head and you remembered you could always give him a call.
Dropping all your stuff to the side you quickly dialled his number, timidly putting the phone to your ear. With each ring of the line your heart raced faster. You tried and tried but he never picked up the phone. Sighing in defeat you put your phone away shifting back to rest against the wall.
After taking a short rest you decided it was best to try the back exit of the college. Maybe just maybe someone forgot to close the door. Gathering your supplies again but this time in an organized manner you began your descent down the stairs of the second floor. At the end of the hallway you could see light peeking through a window and illuminating the dark corner. Maybe someone was in the gymnasium. As you progressed through the dark hall you couldn’t help but feel a chill settling in your body. It was the feeling one felt in darkness as if something was lurking in the shadows ready to attack. Your steps hastened and soon you broke into a run, skidding to a halt in front of the gym.
The door was wide-open and music was drifting through the silent corner of the hallway. You peeked your head through and saw a hooded figure shooting hoops at the opposite end. You stepped in cautiously trying not to alert the stranger of your arrival. As you moved closer you could figure out who it was. You had known him long enough to know it was Jimin. His somewhat short stature and lean build was alluded to by the black hoodie hugging his biceps, and  the rings on his fingers were enough confirmation of the same.
Turning off the speakers placed on the bleacher , you proceeded towards him. He whipped around to inspect why the music had turned off but stopped short when he saw you.
“ We have got to stop getting ourselves into such situations”
“Yea tell me about it” You said while taking a seat on the bleachers, taking out your notebook.
“ Why are you here?” he turned back around and resumed shooting hoops, while you watched as he took one shot after and another never missing the net. No wonder he was the talk of the campus and everyone wanted his interview.
“That would also be your fault”
Jimin’s hand stopped mid air as he was about to shoot again. He turned around looking at you questioningly.
“ Yoongi wants me to an interview with you. Winning the game and all at the 10th anniversary of the tournament and shit. So I sat in the library to think of what questions to ask but lost track of time” you replied matter of factly.
“ I don’t really care for an interview. That too with you”
“Ditto. But he doesnt want to do it because he thinks he will too subjective. I would too, worse than him actually”
“Doesn’t surprise me y/n” he turned back once more and continued with his practice.
You sat silently for a moment staring at the blank notebook in front of you, with no relevant questions to ask.
“What are you doing here at this time?” “Coach lets me stay sometimes so that I can practice” he didn’t look back at you, concentrating solely on making each basket count.
You didn’t know how to reply and carry on the mundane conversation. So you settled for watching him practice his throws and inwardly admired his talent for the sport. He was cocky enough as is, so letting him hear of his praise from you wouldn’t be such a good idea. After a while he stopped , gathered all the balls and placed them in the rack. You could see the beads of sweat running down his forehead and cheeks.
You sat there for a few seconds watching Jimin as he squatted down to rummage through his duffel bag for his water bottle. You gulp as it gives you the perfect view of his ass. Feeling bothered by the tingling feeling rising to your stomach you quickly look away and clear your throat.
He took a seat next to you, wiping his sweat laced face and forehead with the towel, which he then placed on his shoulder. If you didn’t dislike him so much, you might have acknowledged his good looks.
“ You’re staring at me” he said monotonously taking another swig of water, a small smile crossing his lips.
“ Why do you always have to ruin any remotely normal conversation between us by being an ass?”
“ You answered your own question. I am an ass thats why”
“ I seriously hate you” you mumbled under your breath
“ Likewise y/n and its more fun this way” he wiggles his eyebrows throwing a smile your way.
“ What have I ever done to you? I have legitimate reasons to hate you but I have never given you a reason to be an ass towards me”
“ True. You’ve never really given me a valid reason to hate you but I am just so used to this relationship between us I can’t give up being a jerk to you. But why do you hate me so much?” he chuckled
“ There’s too many reason but off the top of my head you treat women disgustingly and objectify them. You use them for sex and throw them away. Typical fuckboy behaviour. Its gross how you degrade women in that way Jimin. You don’t care about their feelings”
“ But have you ever stopped to consider that its give and take?”
“What?” You looked at him confusedly.
“ Think about it. I cant have sex by myself. These women agree to it. They know it won’t go anywhere and that its all about pleasure. I give them what they need and they give me what I need. I am not forcing them to fuck me and vice versa”
He did have a point and you had never thought to perceive the situation from that perspective. You had always faulted him for being so misogynistic but never stopped to consider women allowed that to happen to themselves.
“ Why is it always that men get blamed and labeled as fuckboys? If you really think about it they are using me for my body too. Isn’t that sexual objectification y/n? What kind of equality is that?”
“Yes it is but its different. You men have the freedom to act in this way and escape judgement but women get judged all the time. Think about it if a girl gets pregnant, the guy doesn’t get the blame. Everyone point’s fingers at the girl as if she somehow managed to pregnant by herself!”
“Okay fair enough. But haven’t you made all these assumptions about me and judged me all these years without actually thinking about how I get used by these girl? Do you know how many times I have gotten booty calls because they just want a good fuck even after they are in ‘committed’ relationships?!” Jimin paused to catch his breath.
You opened your mouth to speak but you didn’t know how to reply. You did see his point and you needed time to process it.
“ I get that but why do you even have to do this shit? Why can’t you just be a normal person and not to do this stuff?”
“ That’s my personal choice and it shouldn’t make me a bad person when girls you blame me of objectifying are quick to fall into the trap themselves. You girls get so defensive about your own feminism and equality that you disregard prejudices men have to go through. Tell me y/n am I not in a way being objectified too?!! Are these women not using me for my body too? Where does that leave equality?”
“ Its not as simple as you claim Jimin. The way in you get objectified isn’t at the same level as women”
“How? I am being used for my body too!”
“Yes you are, but your worth isn’t just defined by your body. For a woman it is. As women we are taught our worth lies in how beautiful we look, and not in how good we are as a person. That our worth is only amounts to the male attention we receive and how much sexual desirability we can create in men. We only amount of the sum of our body parts. That’s how our worth as people as human beings has been defined for centuries. So when you fuck these women you enforce this idea because to you these women are only sum of their body parts, she isn’t a person. Men don’t get objectified that way because your worth simply isn’t defined by your sexual appeal”
The both of you are red in the face from all the shouting you had to do. Jimin shook his head at you.
“ I know but don’t judge me for it when I get objectified too even if its not in the same way it would be for a woman and not to the same extent. You can’t refute that I get used too”
Your face flushed red even more because you knew he was right. He was used too at the end of the day, even if it wasn’t at the same level contextually. You had never taken Jimin to be so well spoken with intellectual thoughts. He could hold his own when it came to social issues.
“I didn’t know you were smart Jimin” you chuckle slightly, immediately regretting how normal and friendly it sounded.
“ You don’t know anything about me y/n. Just because I do all this doesn’t make me a bad person. Just like women are more than their bodies, I am much more than my actions”
You were beginning to realize your blind prejudices against him. It still didn’t excuse all the stupid stuff he did but at the very least you could look at him from a different perspective than that of a perpetrator. He was a victim too in a way, and you felt slightly guilty for always being quick to spring all the blame on his character.
“ Sorry for always judging you. I see your point but I still hate you. I haven’t forgotten all the shit you’ve done to me and that has nothing to do with this societal crap”
Jimin only gave a small laugh in response before getting up and picking up a basket ball again. He stood in front of you securely having placed the ball under his armpit.
“I don’t know about you but my brain definitely hurts from all of this smart ass conversation. I need a break. Wanna play?”
You pointed to yourself in question. He nodded his head. You pondered his offer for a few minutes.
“ I guess we can forget our enmity for one night” you snatched the ball from under his arm pit and took a shot, successfully making it in the basket.
“ You’re good” he nodded his head in acknowledgment of your skill
“ Don’t go easy on me just because I am a girl”
“ Trust me. I wont” the both of you smiled at each other knowingly, choosing to forget your dislike for one night.
If you liked please don’t forget to leave a like, reblog or comment. Only takes 30 seconds! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it!! :)
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clown-bait · 6 years
Text
Paranormal Journeys Part 6 (Monster Roommate AU)
So it took me a month to get this done because I have had one hell of a busy time these past few weeks. Also the massive writers block that didn't help. But anyway last time Leech did some snooping in the library under the clowns big red nose. Penny had to come save his trashpire from being discovered by Mike Hanlon who had already learned quite a bit already about what the clown has been up to. Leech flipped out and attacked everyone after waking up sick and hangry turns out theres some weird deadlight shit going on with her and surprise surprise no one is being helpful. Ok I think everyone is caught up now sorry for you new people if this is confusing as fuck. I’ll try not to go so long in between chapters again!
Part 6 Freddy Gets Laid
Pennywise returned to the main room in an eerily good mood despite what had just happened. Granted any good mood of his came off as eerie but this was especially cheerful for him. In fact he was practically glowing. “Where’s my Peachy?” he purred in a dream like state.
“You just missed her said somethin’ about getting someone to eat.” Chucky said stabbing Freddy for the 10th time as his wife filmed him.
The clown’s good mood came to a screeching halt. “SHE WHAT?”
“What she's a big girl Jingles she can handle herself. Look what she did to all of us!” Tiff blew a puff of smoke
“YOU PEOPLE JUST LET HER LEAVE? IN HER CONDITION? AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING OR TRIED TO STOP HER?”
“Eh we kinda did? I don't know we were talking about Fangs PMSing, Freddy called my wife a bitch and she just sorta left.”
“You are all dead when I return from fetching her.” the clown growled and vanished.
“How many times has he threatened our lives this week?”Chucky asked the group
“I think this is number eleven” Tiff answered him. Leatherface shook his head and held up one and two fingers. “Oh shit is it really up to twelve?! Hey I might win the pool!” Freddy shouted happily
“Ah ah! I had thirteen! I'm in the lead!”
“Drac, I guarantee you he will threaten all of us again at least four more times by Sunday this is Jingles were talking about.”
“Not if he's in a good mood, and trust me he will be in a great mood”
“What is the circus in town or something?”
Dracula gave his roommate a catlike smile “I will let you all figure it out.” he said drifting out of the room leaving his friends to put the pieces of the puzzle together for themselves.
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Leech shivered to herself as she walked along the snowy path through the woods near Neibolt street. She decided to cut through the gravel pit by the town dump maybe find an unfortunate dumpster diver no one would miss. Anything to silence this damn hunger. If leftovers couldn't stop the gnawing pain then fresh meat would, it always does.
Sure enough she came across a few homeless. Oddly she could tell their mood before even looking at their faces. This one was bored, another tired, one was extremely high and euphoric all smelled horribly unappetizing. Leech pulled on her beanie a bit tighter as a chill filled the air she had forgot to put on warmer clothes that weren't just sweats and a jacket not really suitable for winter in Maine. Hopping in the sewer wouldn't make things better its colder down there than it is up top and no doubt shed run into Penny who would most likely insist she return home after what just happened at the house. She didn't want to deal with him right now she just wanted to let predatory instinct guide her thoughts. Maybe she just needed to chase down and sink her teeth in someone. That had to be the reason for her weird behavior she's kept the beast cooped up for too long time to let it out.
Leech walked along the tree line staying just out of sight of the road till she came across a runner in the distance in a rush to get home. She's afraid of the dark. The vampire said to herself. “Wait how did I know that?” she said aloud. Leech brought her good hand to rub her head. The things that were happening to her…they were very…Penny. Was he somehow doing something to her? She did apparently get exposed to his deadlights just now but she technically wasn't conscious for it. Whatever he was doing one monstrous transition was enough in her life and this needed to come to a stop.
A warm scent brought her out of her thoughts as fast footsteps drew her focus back to reality. Savory flavor filled the air and a warmth creeped through her from the back of her skull to her face lighting her eyes up gold. She began to salivate as the runner came closer and the vampire stood still against the trees. She almost didn't recognize her own words leaving her mouth as the runner crossed her path.
“Better run faster!” she said in a hiss her prey slowed her pace.
“Pardon me?”
“It'll be night soon. Don't slow down” the vampire whispered “Don't slow down or the things in the dark will catch up!” Leech giggled to herself, Pennywise eat your heart out.
“WHOS THERE!?” the woman called out.
“No one else but the night and me” came a sweet whisper. “Won’t you join me for a moon lit walk? I’ll keep the other monsters away!” the words were like honey flowing through the humans brain she wandered into the woods in a trance like state till she suddenly came to, not knowing how far in she had gone or why.
The woman swore she caught a glimpse of something standing behind the trees grinning at her but when she looked again it was gone. She tried to leave when she heard a snap like a large branch breaking. Then she heard a pop and something like the sound of meat being stretched. That’s when she saw the tall thing standing in the now shadowy woods with glowing eyes. Someone or something was stalking her and it had tricked her deep into the darkened forest away from safe things like cars or street lights. She was all alone in the dark.
As the woman turned a face popped out of the bush. It resembled a human but it was skeletal and bat-like, the mouth way too big for the face and long needle like teeth accompanied two large dagger like fangs in the front. “NiCe nIGhT FoR a jOG AiNT iT?!!” the thing said in a distorted voice as the woman shrieked. A claw grabbed her face and yanked her into the bush the runner fell on her stomach and tried to crawl away but Leech pinned her down with a long clawed foot. The vampire smiled wide and slowly dug her taloned toes into the woman’s back. Delicious red bubbled to the surface and the monster’s prey began to scream.
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Pennywise tore through the sewer in a raging storm the likes of which the town of Derry had never seen. He was enraged, confused and worst of all he was afraid. He couldn't sense his mate despite knowing all that was going on in his town he couldn't find her. It could only mean the power she had been gifted with was growing and the clown felt both proud and intimidated by it. This little blessing had come at an inopportune time for this cycle. He was hoping this…development…. would have happened after the seven were long and dead, but beggars cant be choosers and Pennywise could find a way to use this to his advantage somehow. The only issue he would run into was how unpredictable it made his precious mate. She was a liability to herself and the entire monster community when he wasn't near her and now that she was unknowingly hiding her presence, she was even more dangerous.
The clown’s frantic searching was drawn to a halt when a delectable smell kissed the tip of his nose. It was fear no ,not just fear sheer panic and terror. Penny began to salivate excessively it smelled delicious! Who was causing so much horror? He had to know! He searched the town but couldn't see. He saw the woman but not her attacker. Then it dawned on him. “Leechie!” he hissed with a grin. Not only had he found her but she had caught him a delicious meal to steal! How thoughtful of her! She might take some convincing of course but she owed him anyway. Besides Pennywise could be very persuasive. The clown chuckled darkly to himself and whisked his form away to appear in the woods. There was a body mangled and shredded, definitely looked like her handiwork but there was no nosferatu.
Pennywise snarled and ripped a piece of flesh from the carcass. It was delicious, the clown grunted and tilted his head back letting the meat slide down his throat the flavor still dancing on his tongue. Since when did she get so good at scaring her food? He finished her abandoned leftovers as quickly as he could not passing up a free meal and continued his search. His town was small she couldn't be that hard to find. Could she?
Hours passed and the clown stumbled into his home alone. He had failed.
“Jingles! Where the hell have you been all night?” Chucky shouted from the couch
“I didn't find her.” Pennywise mumbled ego bruised and officially worried.
“I thought you knew everything clown. Whats the matter losing your touch?” Freddy jabbed a sharp elbow into Penny’s side the clown snarled at him.
“She is…changing its not my fault I cant sense her.”
“What your magic dick juice do something to her?”
The clown opened his mouth to speak then decided to close it. The dream demon wasn't wrong exactly.
“Look we may help you out Jingles but you're going to have to owe us big.” Chucky said sliding in to take advantage of Pennywise’s rare moment of weakness.
“I’m thinkin free months rent he seems desperate enough hon” Tiff grinned as she studied the eldritch’s expression.
“Bubba and I want to put a hot tub in the basement and have poker nights again.” Freddy sneered. (Poker night was banned when Dracula tried to bet his lands and summoned a windstorm in frustration when he was informed that Transylvania is owned by the country of Romania not him.)
“Again with the hot tub? You don't even live here Krueger!” Pennywise snarled he didn't need their help he was the superior being how hard was it to find one small vampire?….ok he needed some assistance.
“Come on clown say it.”
A frustrated growl rumbled in the clown’s throat. “I need….allies….”
“You need what now?” The dream demon grinned wide.
“Allies.”
“Now now Jingles we've been through way too much to be just allies.” Freddy teased and the clown bared his fangs more in rage and defeat.
“Find my mate and I will allow poker night to continue. That’s all you are getting.”
“I was looking for the word friends but I’ll take that deal.” the dream demon winked and faded away to his own realm leaving his “friend” to grimace in disgust.
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Chris the ghost hunter awoke in the chair he had fallen asleep in but not in the same room. He was actually pretty sure this wasn't even the same building. How the hell did he end up in a boiler room? The human got out of the old chair and began to look for an exit or a phone. He could at least try to call Z to come pick him up. He must have been sleep walking again…. but that still doesn't explain the chair. He glanced over to the side and saw the words poorly written on the wall in children’s multi colored chalk:
One, Two Freddy’s coming for you
The ghost hunter stepped back “Who the fuck is Freddy?” he said aloud. He heard twisting metal behind him and then saw a set of pipes reading:
Three Four better lock your door
“What the hell is this?” Chris yelled out but getting no response other than metal and steam.
“Five six grab your crucifix.” a familiar voice called to him from above.
“Z-ZANDER? IS THAT YOU?!” the ghost hunter shouted said figure appeared in the window like an angel coming to the rescue.
“Seven eight better stay up late.” Zander said in a calm dream like voice. The panicked ghost hunter rushed into his leaders arms hugging him tightly “Bro I thought I was a goner this place has got some serious bad vibes” Chris mumbled as a strong arm wrapped around his back. a hand brushed his cheek and Zander tilted his chin up to his own. “I'm here now you need to tell me where we were before all this” he said leaning closer
“Eh-Z what are you-”
“Chris how long have we been friends? Don't think I don't know. I’ve always known.”
“Z-Zee”
“Now tell me where we were so I can take us away from this place.”
“Ah-a farm…. you brought us all to a farm we were going to get the demon out of the girl”
“Such a good boy for daddy.” Zander cooed and pushed Chris’ hair back and leaned in so close the ghost hunter could feel the stubble from his friend’s face prick his lips. As Chris closed his eyes Zander’s voice changed and he could feel multiple sharp things caressing his backside “Nine ten never sleep again lover boy” a deep voice growled and suddenly burnt lips pressed against his. Chris began to scream.
——————————-
Freddy reappeared on the couch about 30 minutes later half out of breath. The dream demon removed his hat and pulled out his vape and taking a long drag. The room stared at him expectantly as he seemed to take his dear sweet time and relax.
“Well?” Pennywise impatiently growled.
“Well what?”
“The location Krueger where is she?”
“Jingles give me like 5 minutes to collect myself jesus! Its been awhile.”
“Been awhile since what?” Chucky asked
The dream demon didn't answer and took another long drag of vapor.
“Did….did you?” Tiffany made a face that looked both shocked and disgusted
“Relax it was just head.”
“You went and got laid instead of finding my Peachy?!?!?” The clown roared.
“Jingles I told you to fuckin relax!”
“Relax? RELAX HE SAYS HAHAHAHAHAH OH ILL RELAX YES YOU WANT THE CLOWN TO RELAAAXXX” Pennywise’s form began to fall apart teeth appearing in places teeth should not be on a face, multiple eyes grew on his large forehead.
“iS ThIS rELaXEd EnOUgH?”
“Jesus christ Jingles let me get some action for once. Your chick’s been snatched up and is at some farm. Something about getting the demons out or whatever. Put yourself back together drama queen this is embarrassing.”
The clowns eyes went completely blood red at the word farm and he began to twitch.
“A  W H A T?!”
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HE MAD. Im pretty sure everyone has figured it out by now whats going on with Leech. And Freddy’s Pan AF in my HC (don’t worry it was consensual you'll see.) Next chapter I’ve been really excited about getting to because its gonna be a bit of a comedic torture scene! So get ready for that. Also Mikes gonna come back!
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