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softpascalito · 3 days

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I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 1 I

Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.

But he doesn't stay a stranger.

Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Rating: Explicit / MDNI Word count: 5k+ Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added

AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist

notes: this work has been quite a while in the making and im very excited to finally share the first chapter! a huge thank you to the wonderful josie for being my beta reader and listening to all my rambling <3

this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.

Chapter 1 - The Before

‘‘I will be very sad to leave here’, Yves said, suddenly. ‘I have never been happier than I have been in this house.’ ‘I have been very happy too. I wonder if we will ever be so happy again.’’ - Another Country, James Baldwin

You’d been on the run for what felt like weeks but could only have been days when you found the gas station next to an abandoned mall. It had looked promising, the half-rotten advertisements plastered to the walls, reminding your stomach that it had gone far too long without a proper meal, or any meal for that matter.

Maybe if you hadn’t been so starved or so tired, you would’ve heard them coming, the Infected that stormed through the back door practically the moment you slipped into the building. A yell escaped your throat, your hand instinctively reaching for the knife you kept buckled to your leg. You didn't even get the chance to pull it out of its makeshift holster before the creature was on top of you, pinning you to the floor with what felt like inhuman strength.

“Fucking- get off-” you grunted, but even if the thing on top of you had been one that listened to commands, your thin and shaky voice likely wouldn’t have impressed it.

So this was how you were gonna go out. In a town you couldn't even name, somewhere in the snowy mountains of Wyoming, after finally escaping the life you’d been stuck in for so long. You hadn't even made it a month.

For a second, you considered trying to reach for your gun, still tucked into your pants and pressing into your back uncomfortably. You could feel its outline against your skin, a pain shooting through your spine as the Infected seemed to double its effort to reach your neck with its mouth, half-rotten teeth close enough that you could recognize the foul smell of death.

Then, the gun went off. Or you thought it did. The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang in your ears as the Infected collapsed on top of you. But the feeling of your pistol pressing into your back was still there. It had been a gun. But not yours.

“I got her!” a voice above you bellowed out, an unmistakable southern drawl. “Tommy, give me some cover here, goddammit!”

You hadn't even noticed the second man, who was now aiming his gun at another runner storming towards him. He fired, once, twice, and the Infected let out a howl before its body hit the tiled floor with a thud.

“Hey, you with me?” The man above you leaned down, shoving the Infected that had been on top of you to the side unceremoniously. He was dressed in a worn jacket, jeans and boots, the latter two splattered with blood. His right hand, covered in a weathered leather glove, was stretched out towards you, an invitation to, well, you weren't exactly sure.

“She good?”

The second man approached the pair of you, your eyes flying over to him for a split moment. He was dressed similarly, except that he looked a little younger than his partner. He shouldered his rifle and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Your gaze flew back to the man in front of you, to the brown eyes that carried an unexpectedly gentle look, not quite matching the gruff way he looked. Shaking slightly, you placed your hand in his, and the next moment, he was pulling you to your feet.

“There you are.”

You nodded, a motion that looked more like your head was jerking on its own accord. But the man seemed to accept it. As the other one stepped towards you, the taller of the two men spoke again.

“You clean?” When no response came, he pressed on, his tone getting a little more impatient. “Did it bite you? Scratch you anywhere?”

The other one gently placed a hand on his chest, forcing your attention onto himself. “Can you walk? Our horses are two houses over, we've got a place where you can rest, get some food-”

“I'm not going anywhere with you,” you blurted out. You'd had your fair share of people, of men offering you ‘help’ and it never stopped there. There was payment, always. In this world, it was stupid to think there wouldn't be, that anyone would help you out of the kindness of their hearts.

“You're not going anywhere else by the looks of it, either,” the man with the gloves muttered, more than loud enough for you to hear. “You won't last a week.”

“I've lasted longer, asshole,” you shot back, suddenly angry at the stranger in front of you. He didn't know you, he didn't know the things you'd gone through to get here. So what if he had saved your life? It didn't give him the right to predict your death.

The other man nudged his ribs, extending his hand to you as well, though it was more of a formality this time.

“Name’s Tommy. The asshole is my brother Joel.”

He paused for a moment, clearly thinking about how to approach this the right way. “Look, I'm sure you've been traveling for quite some time. We can give you a place to recover. You can leave anytime, I promise.”

You eyed him carefully. It did sound too good to be true. But it also did sound- good. A roof over your head, warm food in your stomach- two things you'd been craving for quite some time.

“Okay.”

The man who had introduced himself as Tommy gave a short nod and led the way to the horses, following tracks in the snow the two men had left while coming to your rescue. Joel pulled up the rear and you had a feeling that his eyes were trained on you, watching carefully, maybe for a twitch or anything else out of the ordinary. Again, you weren't sure why, but it made you angry.

“I told you I wasn't bit,” you repeated in his direction as Tommy began untying the horses.

Joel raised a brow, clearly surprised by the attitude in your voice. “‘ts what they usually say.”

“Well, I'm not,” you replied, turning your back on him and focusing on his brother instead. Tommy pretended not to have heard either of you but somehow you were certain he had.

“C’mon, you can ride with me. It's not too far.”

Not too far turned out to be a good hour, the crisp autumn air making you shiver, and you were thankful for the warmth of both the horse and Tommy. But what the ride lacked in temperature it made up for in views, the sun coming out just as you passed the first sign that read ‘Jackson County’.

You didn't even mind Joel's occasional glances towards you as much, finding that with the sunlight playing in his brown curls, his look screamed less of danger and more of concern. Whether it was concern for Tommy or you or something entirely different, you weren't sure.

The answer came to you in the form of your housing arrangements. After getting over the first shock of riding up a busy mainstreet in what looked like an actual, functioning town, a thing you hadn't thought possible anymore, you had made use of what must have been the first functioning toilet you'd seen in months. You felt like a child being steered through the crowd at a busy carnival, if the food hall, the functioning plumbing and electricity and the music drifting from one of the smaller shops was any indication.

“You know we ain't got any unoccupied places and Maria and mine’s no good with the baby screaming all night,” Tommy muttered urgently and you frowned a little. The two men were standing a few feet away, clearly unaware that you were already back and you awkwardly shoved your hands in your pockets, considering going back inside for a moment. But then Joel opened his mouth and you couldn't help but listen in on their conversation. The older man seemed as much a mystery as the entire scene around you.

Tommy piped up before Joel even had a chance to argue. “It's just for a couple of nights. I’m sure Ellie and you will manage. You take her in, explain the basics and as soon as we got a place, you can go back to shutting yourself off from every goddamn person in this town-”

“I don’t-” Joel interrupted before shaking his head, a low grunt leaving his throat.

“Fine. Until Thursday, no longe-” He broke off at the look on Tommys face, one that was aimed directly at you. You shyly nodded in his direction and closed the distance between you in a few quick steps.

The younger man cleared his throat, giving you a reassuring smile. “Find everything okay?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied politely. You hated how forced the conversation felt, already regretting listening in on it at all.

“Joel here’s gonna get you settled for the night, you let him know if you need anything else. I'll stop by in the morning and introduce you to Maria, she’s-”

“The boss,” Joel finished for him, earning a small glare from Tommy.

“One of our elected leaders,” he corrected, another smile playing around his lips at the mention of what you assumed must be his wife. “Well, I'll leave ya two to it.”

Joel took you home. He still gave you that look, and with Tommy gone, you could be sure that it was actually aimed towards you. It was like he was still on guard but whether it was of you or something else, you couldn't tell.

“Here's how this is gonna go,” he started as he fumbled with the front door of the house clad in white. “You get a quick check-up, a shower, some fresh clothes- you get the idea.”

“I get the idea,” you repeated as he led you into the hallway, unable to keep yourself from glancing around for a moment, catching a peek of the dining room. “You live here by yourself?”

“Why?”

His question hit you out of nowhere and you stuttered for a moment, racking your brain for a good response, “Just- I was making conversation. Jesus.”

“Right,” Joel nodded, his gaze softening a bit. He placed his bag onto the floor and tapped his right thigh absent-mindedly. “Come on, follow me.”

He took you into the upstairs bathroom that smelled faintly of soap, reminding you that you hadn't had a proper wash in more days than you cared to count. There were a few small containers, mostly re-used mason jars, that were labeled ‘shampoo’ or ‘body wash’, sitting orderly on the small shelf next to the tub.

You felt more than heard Joel shift behind you and turned to meet his gaze. He was still watching, arms crossed, seemingly waiting for something.

“Do I- shower?” you asked softly and he sighed a little at that.

“I need to check you for bites.” His voice was low but still carried a small note of sternness in it.

Oh, right.

“I didn't agree to that.”

You could see his hand twitch, the handle of his revolver still sticking out the back of his jeans. “You're bit.”

It was more of a statement than anything else, like he already knew what was waiting for him under your clothes, maybe a bite on your leg, a scratch on your stomach. Joel had dealt with enough people that had been marked for death like that to know the signs of it. The thing was, he was wrong.

“Is this what it is?” you asked, quietly, trying to keep your voice from shaking.

“Excuse me?”

“Is that why you go outside, save people? So you can bring them back here, get them to take their clothes off for you-”

“Whoa-” Joel held up both hands, shaking his head very slowly. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I need to check you for bites, it’s protocol.” His voice was still deep, that southern drawl you heard earlier in the gas station still present but somehow softer. His features had shifted, seeming genuinely surprised by the turn of your conversation.

“Now, if you want someone else to do it, I can get a lady and let her look you over. We just want to be sure we don’t bring Infected in, that's all.”

“That's all?” you asked as he kept his eyes trained on you, his hands still up in the air and his expression soft.

“I swear, that's all. If you can show me you're not bit, I'll get you that shower, some food, you name it.”

You gave a small nod at that, your body deflating a little. It had been an incredibly long day and the man in front of you seemed genuine. If he wasn't, you could still try and bail.

Joel turned slightly under the pretense of grabbing a towel from below the sink but you knew he was attempting to give you a bit of privacy- even though he clearly didn’t trust you enough to fully turn his back on you. With shaky hands, you began to strip, holding back a wince as you forced your bruised body to move. The fabric of your shirt clung to your skin, dry blood forcing another whimper out of your throat.

You felt Joel's head snap towards you at that but ignored him, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of showing quite how uncomfortable you felt about going through this with him next to you.

He was quick and professional, his large hands brushing over your skin as he made sure you were clean.

“All good,” he commented shortly when he was satisfied, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he reached for a stack of folded towels. Then, his gaze rested on your head again, more specifically, on your matted hair.

“You want me to get someone to cut that for you? Might be easier than-”

“No,” you quickly piped up. You knew your body was malnourished and likely had a dozen other things wrong with it. You didn’t want to lose your hair too.

Joel nodded, his hand absent-mindedly trailing over a particularly nasty knot. “I think I got some soap conditioner in the closet. You want to give that a try?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” you responded curtly and Joel disappeared from the room for a few moments. He came back, as promised, with a soap smelling of jasmine and cotton.

He didn’t seem as hesitant, now that he knew you weren’t bit. At least that’s what you assumed had caused the shift in him. It didn’t occur to you that it might be the fact that you were sitting on his bathroom tiles, shivering, assuming the worst in him, in men, hell, in society. That you looked like a wounded deer, ready to take off at the slightest notion of danger, no matter how badly you were already bleeding.

Joel was a lot more gentle than you would have expected a man of his build to be. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, reaching just far enough to cover your entire hair, but never letting any conditioner run down onto your face. It made you wonder if he was a father. Then you remembered his brother had mentioned a girl earlier, Ellie. Still, you knew better than to ask. You’d likely be gone in a few days anyway.

But, there was one question that you couldn’t keep from slipping out of your mouth.

“Why did you think I was bit?”

Joel paused for a moment, his fingers slowing down ever so slightly as he seemed to think about his words.

“You weren’t fighting hard enough. To stay alive, I mean. You were acting like someone who knows that their time is up.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt his hand brush over the crown of your head, lathering the matted mess that was your hair with soap in small, circular motions.

“I thought it was,” you whispered, honestly. You couldn't bring yourself to lie to him. But you couldn't bring yourself to explain it either.

He didn’t ask.

Neither of you spoke again until you were curled up in his bed, him insisting to take the couch for the night. He’d fed you some soup, relieved when he saw that your stomach could handle that. He’d warned you that it might not, after getting so used to going days without food. You’d gotten some worn but warm clothes to wear after the shower and now your body was sinking into an actual mattress. It was more than you’d dreamed of just that morning.

Joel paused in the doorway, his hand tapping against his jeans, a habit you had already picked up on. It was like he didn’t know what to do with his hands when they weren’t holding a gun.

“You don’t have to leave,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”

Your mouth went dry as you tried to keep your tone nonchalant. His expression told you that it wasn't exactly working. “Who said I was leaving?”

“You look like you will.”

Again, a quiet fell over you and you shook your head softly. “What, you were a psychologist before or something?”

He smiled weakly. “Contractor.”

After a short pause, he went on. “I know it's hard to- to trust. When ya first get here. I felt the same.”

You felt a small breath leave your throat at that. “But it gets better?”

“There's hot water, three meals a day, fair working conditions. I don't think it gets much better out there,” he pointed out softly before giving you a small nod.

“I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Good night.”

27 months later

The almost-empty soap sits on your bathroom shelf, the one that’s screwed to the wall just above the worn-out bathtub. You’ve gotten it refilled every few months, sometimes sooner if you wanted to allow yourself a little treat. It still reminds you of your first day in Jackson, of the safety that you so quickly felt in every room of Joel's house.

You still have some time before you have to head to work and the blue sky promises a cold but clear day so you decided to go and check if you’re in luck with any available refills today. Stock always changes throughout the week and while there’s usually something available, you prefer to get your chosen products if possible.

No such luck.

“Sorry, we’re all out. Think patrols cleared out the store that had these a while ago,” the woman behind the counter says apologetically. “We have some others if you’d like to try a new one, there’s-”

“I’m good,” you quickly insist, giving her a small smile when you notice you may have sounded a little harsh. “I’ll just wait and see if some more comes in.”

In one quick motion, you turn around and head towards the door- only to run face-first into a broad chest draped in a thick, brown coat.

“Whoa.” The deep voice above you immediately sends a gentle warmth through your body and you take a small step back to be able to squint up at the man you bumped into.

“Sorry, Texas, didn't see you there.”

“I told you to stop calling me that,” Joel mutters weakly, fumbling with the small bag he is carrying before handing it over to the woman behind the counter. She thanks him and quickly begins to sort the items he has brought back from patrol. He’s wearing the thick coat you see on him whenever it drops below freezing, his dark boots leaving small pieces of wet mud on the floor of the small store. He’s been doing the creek trails then, most likely.

You’ve rarely been on patrol yourself, focusing your energy more on tasks inside the community. If it hadn’t been for Joel, you know you probably would have taken off in the first few days, maybe stolen some food and been on your way. But he’d gotten you to stay. With him, for a few days. Then they had found space for you in a small guesthouse close to the mainstreet, to be shared with a young woman not unlike yourself that had offered up her vacant bedroom.

You’d taken an instant liking to Lane. Joel had dropped you off at your new home, with the few things you owned, and you and her had both stood in the small kitchen in awkward silence, racking your brains for a good conversation starter. Of course, you’d come up with the one she probably heard every other day.

“I like your hair.”

It wasn’t a lie. Her hair was cut short but thick, and most importantly, it was blue. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen colored hair. It seemed to fit her though. The roots were brown and the overall color a little less vibrant than you’d seen in magazines of people before the outbreak. If anything, you liked this more.

“Thanks,” she said lamely, twisting her hand around the small cup she was holding. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m the worst at social shit,” she finally blurted out and it looked like she was half glad to admit it and half afraid of your reaction.

“Don’t worry. Me too,” you admitted, a grin spreading over both your faces, the silence seeming a lot more bearable now. She shrugged towards the counter, half a dozen muffins sitting on it. “You like blueberries? A friend let me nick these.”

She paused for a moment, brushing a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “I mean, technically they’re not real blueberries, the ground here is too dry for those. I think they’re called juneberries, but we never call them that.”

You figured she’d be a solid roommate if she’d just met you and was already sharing her sweets. Half an hour later, when you had vomited the blueberry muffins back up in your shared bathroom, Joel’s warning about solid food still ringing in your ears, when she was standing beside you, holding your hair back and handing you a washcloth when you were finished, you knew she’d be more than a roommate. She’d be your friend.

She had also been the one to get you into teaching. You’d been fascinated when she first told you about her job in town, teaching the children of Jackson practically every subject she could. Neither of you had been in school before the outbreak so it was all the more impressive, the way she managed to control a class without the need to get loud or hand out punishments.

You’d taken a liking to the classrooms of Jackson as well, reminiscing on the last summer before the world had gone to shit and the way you’d looked forward to being in school, learning all the things big girls did. Not getting to sit in a classroom, and you didn’t count those at FEDRA as actual classrooms, had been only one of so many things you felt you had missed out on.

So it felt even more special now when, after you got Maria to assign you as teacher alongside Lane, you spent your days in the colorfully decorated classrooms, teaching a variety of subjects and a variety of ages. It was similar to life in Jackson, not without its fair amount of challenges. But, just as Joel had promised the first night, you learned to trust and the more you did, the easier it was to let yourself be. Above all, to let yourself be happy.

Joel steps outside alongside you, his head jerking back towards the small supply store. “Did ya get everything?”

His voice is soft, and you like to imagine that he sounds a little more gentle when speaking to you compared to the others. Not that you see him talking to a lot of people either way. You're pretty sure it's why he prefers the patrols, less people to bother him and less voices to listen to. Even though you had a feeling, about a year after you arrived in Jackson, that he also preferred being paired up with Esther, a pretty woman who took care of the horses and frequented the patrols. Especially those with Joel.

You had almost hoped for them to end up together, to drive the images of Joel alone at his too large dining table out of your head. But they didn't and the images stayed. You had him over for dinner, every other month. It started as a thank-you for helping you through your first days and quickly developed into a rare but regular thing. Ellie or Lane joined you occasionally, happy to get a nice home-cooked dinner and some of the wine Joel usually brought along.

You didn't see too much of him outside of your little gatherings, only the normal occasions that presented themself around town. But it was nice to know that he was there, that he would bring his wine and compliment your cooking and make small-talk and listen to the new developments of your life.

“It makes sense for you to be a teacher,” he’d agreed after you’d updated him on your new position, causing you to raise a brow.

“What is that supposed to mean? Think I can’t handle myself out on the group patrols?”

His face slowly changed at that, Joel urgently shaking his head, “I didn't mean-”

You cut him off with a small laugh, no longer able to stay serious at how panicked he looked. “I’m messing with you, old man. I know what you meant. I think it makes sense too. I like it.”

His shoulders relaxed slightly as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, grumbling a little under his breath.

It's Joel's voice that brings you back to the present. “I asked if you got everything?”

You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts, then it turns to shaking your head no. “They’re out of conditioner. But it’s fine, I can stretch mine a bit longer and maybe they’ll get some next week.”

“Ya still using the same one?” Joel asks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and you nod. It's sweet that he remembers. It's been over two years, after all.

“Yeah. Liked it, never saw a reason to switch,” you explain lamely. He only gives a short nod, motioning for you to follow as he starts walking.

You do, though perplexed. “School’s in the other direction.” “Thought your class didn’t start until ten today,” he points out. It never appears to you to ask how or why he knows this. When your steps slow down and your thoughts speed up simultaneously, he nudges you along.

“You want your soap or not?” he grumbles and your face lights up a little at that.

“You got some?”

Joel gives another quick nod. “Brought them back a few weeks ago. I would’ve given them to you if I knew ya still used them.”

You trot beside him like a puppy, making your way down Rancher Street and up the flight of stairs that leads to the small house clad in white. The noise of the wind chimes tied to a beam above his front porch drifts over to you, the gentle breeze creating a slow melody.

You haven’t been in his upstairs bathroom for years. It’s odd and it feels too intimate, seeing the place where he brushes his teeth in the morning, where he washes himself after a long day. You don't belong in a space this personal. You don't belong to him.

It felt different when you were curled up on the same white tiles, letting him check your bruised and battered body for signs of Infection. For a split moment, it did feel like you belonged, in a way.

Joel's hand brushes over yours as he hands you the soap, the one smelling of jasmine and cotton and safety.

The rest of the day is a blur of lessons and grading, but the smell of the soap seems to linger, the comforting feeling in your stomach getting you through the work day. It doesn’t end until seven with you staying behind to tutor some kids for an upcoming exam and then to finish preparing said exam. The smell of food fills the air as you open your front door and you smile as you poke your head into the kitchen, “Smells good.”

Lane is seated at the table, a few papers in front of her. Likely an exam of her own, you think to yourself. Even after the world has ended, finals season still exists.

“My mum made that pasta you like so much today. Figured I'd save you some,” she says, nodding towards the tupperware sitting on the counter.

“You're an angel.” You whistle as you head deeper into the house, putting away your jacket and bag, fishing the soap out of the latter and placing it on the bathroom shelf. It makes you pause for a moment. You give a nod to yourself at the sight of the refilled container and make a silent vow to treat yourself to a nice bath today.

An hour later, your stomach is filled with warm pasta, the bathroom damp with steam and your hair soft, smelling just the way you like it. The clock in the small hallway reminds you that it's already past twelve and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day filled with teaching makes you want to crawl into bed fairly quickly. But you're thirsty.

Lane is still in the kitchen, her blue hair a little messy and crowned with a pair of headphones. The music spills out a bit, enough for you to be able to hear the low, steady humming of a song that seems mildly familiar.

You do remember a few songs from before the Outbreak- mainly the ones they played on the radio. But you know that Lane doesn’t, being a few years younger than you, meaning that she barely has any memories of the before.

You're already in your pajamas, shuffling to the sink to pour yourself a glass of water. Somehow it always tastes better at night. Or maybe your brain is playing tricks on you.

“Hey, you remember Joel is coming over for dinner on Sunday, right?” you ask with your back to your friend. When no response comes, you gulp down the last bit of water and turn around, giving a small wave in the air between you.

Lane sits up a little more, pushing one side of her headphones back just enough to free her ear. “Hm?”

“Dinner with Joel, Sunday,” you repeat, a yawn escaping you.

After a moment, she nods. “Right, I remember. We’re out of blueberries again, by the way.”

“I’ll make sure to restock this weekend then,” you agree, already halfway across the room. You give another small wave and finally head to bed. It looks exactly the same way you left it this morning, the blanket tucked into one side, the pillows arranged against the headboard.

“It's so good to be home,” you mutter to yourself as you crawl under the covers, stretching your body a little. Your left hand reaches for your nightstand and finds the book you've been reading, hoping to get just a tiny bit further tonight. With all the work and the winter festival coming up, you’ve barely made progress, the wooden bookmark still sitting near the front. You put it aside, glancing down at the finely carved piece of woodwork for a moment. Joel gave it to you for your first birthday in Jackson. Then you open the book properly, the worn-out spine cracking slightly. Just a couple of minutes.

But your eyes start to droop after just a few pages. After half a chapter, you're in a deep slumber, the book slipping out of your hands and onto the wooden floor below just as the front door slips shut.

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149 notes · View notes

lestappenforever · 2 days

Note

DROP THE TEXT EXCHANGE FIC 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

I would like to preface this by saying that threats are not a good incentive to get me to write anything, anon. But, you're in luck this time because I was already feeling inspired as hell.

The text exhange in question.

Dedicated to @f1writingbyme, for once again being my muse, allowing me to scream ideas at her, and helping me decide on the very important details along the way.

AO3 link.

---

There's a hand on his shoulder during his post-qualifying interview in the media pen; a firm squeeze followed by equally firm pats, and Charles knows who it is before he even lays eyes on Max. After all, he could recognize that touch anywhere, at any time.

His face lights up with pure glee at the sight of the Dutchman, the way it always does.

Green eyes meet blue, and despite Max's own disappointing qualifying landing him in a measly P6, the Red Bull driver looks at Charles with nothing but genuine joy and pride. Because in spite of his own struggles, Max is irrevocably, endlessly happy for Charles.

Max knows how much this means to him — has been there for every single disappointing weekend the Monégasque has experienced in his home race over the past few years. He's seen the heartbreak in his eyes, listened to him raging about the mistakes made there in the past; both by Charles himself and by his team. As with practically everything else in his career, Max has been right there with him. And for that reason, Charles is absolutely certain that even if Max had ended up having to start tomorrow's race from P20, the Dutchman still would have found it in himself to be as happy for Charles as he would have been for himself had Max been the one to secure pole.

They clasp hands like they have done hundreds, if not thousands, of times before. Max's grip is tight, but Charles' is even tighter, as he is overcome with a realization that has hit him so many times before over the years:

He doesn't want to let go. And he can tell by the way Max squeezes his hand one more time that the feeling is mutual.

Charles sees his own emotions, his own desires, reflected in those beautiful blue eyes — can feel the electricity simmering between them, just beneath the surface, the way it has done for so many years. Always there, close enough for them both to reach out and grasp and yet, just out of reach. It's a line neither of them have dared to cross, both highly aware of the fact that if — when — they do, there will be no going back.

The unasked question that has always been there, but never spoken aloud, lies heavy between them.

'Are you feeling this, too?'

'No,' the other would always answer, just as silently as the question itself. Even if it's a lie. Even if it has always been a lie; one they've both told themselves and each other as a way to ensure they don't step over that line.

But, in that moment, Charles is sure he would never even want to go back. Sure that if there is one thing he wants almost as much as winning his home race tomorrow, it's crossing that line with Max. To give into that oh-so-powerful pull between them they've both been trying and failing to ignore for God knows how long.

They maintain eye contact only for a mere few seconds, but it's enough for Charles to see that flash in Max's eyes.

He wants to cross that line, too. It's about time. It's long overdue.

Max lets go of his hand and walks away, and Charles looks down at the ground briefly, trying to will his cheeks not to flush with the intensity of such a brief exchange in front of the camera, before returning his focus to the interviewer.

His mind, however, never lets go of Max.

If Charles hadn't already felt like he was flying, he sure as hell is now.

***

His phone vibrates in his pocket a little while later, and Charles feels his heart picking up the pace as he reads Max's name on the display.

'Congratulations on pole! Well deserved!'

His heart flutters.

'Thank you! I'm so happy 😊'

He sends a second text immediately after.

'It's a shame you're not up there with me, though'

Max doesn't leave him waiting long for a response.

'Still 78 laps to go, mate. You think I won't do everything to get into the top 3 tomorrow?'

Charles glances around, making sure nobody is paying attention to him as he tries and fails to bite back a smile as excitement starts coursing through him.

'You really think you can overtake two Mercedes, at least one McLaren and a Ferrari?'

It's a stupid question, Charles knows, because if anyone can do it in Monaco, it's Max fucking Emilian Verstappen. But he can't resist the jab; can't resist the urge to try to get under Max's skin, just a little. Just like he hasn't been able to resist since he and Max first met back in karting when when they were literal children.

The bubble with the three dots appears briefly before disappearing and reappearing a few seconds later. Then:

'To get to share a podium with you in your home race?'

'I could overtake Michael, Seb and Ayrton if I had to.'

The smile turns into a full-blown grin, and Charles feels giddy as he reads the two messages over and over again. The anticipation thrumming within him, bubbling just underneath the surface of his skin, is so overwhelming he needs three attempts to send his next message that consists of a single word:

'Yeah?'

Then, with more confidence:

'Prove it.'

Max's response is immediate.

'Oh, I will.'

As he pockets his phone, his heart beating wildly in his chest and his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, he knows Max isn't just talking about the race.

He hadn't thought he could feel even more excited about tomorrow than he already did, but as he has done so many times with so many things in the past, Max proves him wrong.

***

On Sunday, Charles is preparing to leave his driver's room and make his way to the garage to get ready for the race. But as he opens the door, he's met with the familiar face of Max Verstappen.

"Max, what are you—,"

The Dutchman places a hand on Charles' chest and firmly pushes him back into the room, following him inside and closing the door behind him with his foot in one swift movement. Charles barely has time to process what's happening before Max has grabbed a hold of his shoulder, turned him around and pushed him up against the wall by the door.

Charles has effectively lost his ability to speak as he watches Max lean in until their lips are mere inches apart.

"I needed to see you alone, before the race," he says, voice barely above a whisper. Max's hands drop from his shoulders, instead sliding down his chest, his stomach, coming to a halt on his waist. "To wish you luck."

Charles swallows past the lump in his throat. "You think I need it?" he asks, trying to sound calm and collected, but his voice betrays him almost as much as his dilated pupils do.

"No," Max says immediately, allowing his lips to brush featherlight against Charles'. It's not a kiss, and even if Charles so desperately wants it to be, he doesn't cross that line.

Not yet.

"But I wanted to do it anyway," the Dutchman adds, moving one hand from Charles' waist and raising it to cup Charles' jaw instead, letting his thumb drag gently over the Monégasque's bottom lip.

It sends a full-body shiver through him; one Max notices if the way the small smirk on his lips is anything to go by.

"Good luck, Charles," Max whispers, thumb still on Charles' bottom lip as he leans in closer, closer, until his lips are touching the back of his own thumb, the digit being the only thing separating them.

Charles' heart is beating so hard that he's sure Max must be able to feel his pulse against his thumb. The Dutchman's other hand tightens on Charles' waist, his pupils practically making the blue of his iris disappear altogether.

The thumb moves and Charles thinks that Max will finally — fucking finally, after far too many years — kiss him.

Only for Max to lean his head to the side and instead presses a gentle kiss to Charles' cheekbone; a careful brush of lips against soft skin.

"I'll see you on the podium," he breathes against the skin of Charles' cheek, before pulling away completely and turning to put his hand on the door handle. He pauses before opening the door, looking at Charles with an expression the Monégasque doesn't think he's ever seen before.

"Hey, Charles?"

The Monégasque blinks at him.

"Are you feeling this, too?" Max asks him then, voicing the question that has only been asked through looks up until that point.

And Charles, knowing there is only one correct answer — knows there is only one answer that conveys the truth — sticks with the lie.

For now.

"No."

Max smiles at him, a soft and private thing. Charles' own expression morphs into one of adoration and longing. He returns the smile.

"Me neither."

And with that, Max opens the door and walks out of Charles' driver's room, as if he hasn't just turned both their worlds upside down.

#Asks #Lestappen #Lestappen fic #My writing #f1writingbyme #Lestappen drabble #Ilse's neverending adoration tag

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haikyu-mp4 · 2 days

Text

Second chance to cupid

word count; 1048 – f!reader

Not usually favouring sports, you’re in the journalism club to make use of your great eye for design and writing. After watching one of your school’s volleyball team’s official games last season, you took notice of the boring brochures they handed out with the players’ information. You hadn’t yet chosen what to do for your project this semester and decided to lend your talents to making a better representation of the team’s charms and talents. What you didn’t expect to get out of the project was a date.

You received permission from their coach and captain and set up some equipment to take your photos in a room adjacent to the gym during practice. Hopefully, you can encourage them all to pose confidently. In order to not disturb their whole practice, you ask one grade to join you at a time, starting with the first-years and ending with the third-years. Good luck!

You were already very familiar with Bokuto. The guy was so outgoing that he’s had an interaction with almost every student at Fukurodani, and your conversations simply spurred into many more of them. A couple of days a week, you would see him in the hallway and he would wave excitedly while yelling your name, so that’s how you also ended up talking a lot to Akaashi. It always brightened your day and you could easily admit you grew a bit extra fond of Akaashi as the two of you started spending time together without the third wheel, despite his complaints about it.

Akaashi found you very interesting. He loved listening to you ramble about your club and other interests whenever you two were together. In some ways, your excitement reminded him of Bokuto. Now, some people think Bokuto is stupid. He is not, because when he sees how you two interact, there is no doubt in his mind that something is going on. Bokuto said yes to this project before you even finished your first sentence, which made you laugh softly and thank him before continuing to explain anyway. After meeting with you, he excitedly told Akaashi all about it even though he already heard about it from you, but Bokuto enjoyed how Akaashi seemed so happy about it coming true. That’s why Bokuto asked him during practice if he was planning on asking you out soon.

“What?” Akaashi said, grabbing the ball instead of passing it back.

“Y/n. Shouldn’t you ask her out soon?” the captain asked, gesturing for Akaashi to keep going with the drills. He didn’t.

“Uhh maybe…” Bokuto walked over, annoyed that he wasn’t passing but also smiling as he got an idea and interrupted Akaashi from answering further.

“You can do it while she’s here for the project!” he suggested, imagining some grand scene that didn’t suit Akaashi at all. “Make it real romantic, like when she’s taking the picture you say ‘your pretty smile is even brighter than the camera flash’ and magically whip out a bouquet of roses.”

“I will do it, Bokuto. At some point.” Akaashi assured him, stern but still soft as he wanted Bokuto to feel like he was helping in some way. “She doesn’t even like roses…” he mumbled as well. His mind went into overthinking for a while, mindlessly passing the ball between him and Bokuto.

Akaashi had put emphasis on the will because he planned on doing it the day after your photo shoot when you two shared lunch and discussed the player details. However, he didn’t notice that he didn’t emphasise that idea to his friend. The captain was thrilled because all he heard was you’re right, I will.

The photo shoot was easy so far. The Fukurodani team knew how to look confident and you had an all around good time with them. Your waves of laughter could be heard from outside the room and you all spent the time well. Akaashi seemed happy and you wondered if the room might be too hot as his cheeks were slightly red when you looked at him through the camera lens. He gave you a little smile and put his hands on his hips, doing his best to make you happy with his effort.

You took the picture and put the camera down in your lap to check it, whistling and then looking back up at the guy. “That’s great, Akaashi.” He had given you a couple of options.

He was the last one, so you sent another second year to get the third-years and kept making jokes with everyone as they shuffled out. Akaashi walked a bit slower, thanking you for doing the project for them and telling you to have good luck with the others. Well… with Bokuto.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto walked in first and bounced over to you, putting an arm over your shoulder and asking if you were doing alright. You confirmed but were still watching Akaashi as he left, giving Konoha a high five and then glancing over his shoulder at you. Bokuto looked between you two excitedly before yelling out. “Hey, Akaashi! Did you ask her out like you planned to?”

Akaashi froze, slowly turning around with a face filled with horror. You were surprised, frowning at Bokuto because you had not been asked about anything like that. Akaashi huffed and avoided your eyes. “No, I was going to do it tomorrow for lunch,” he whispered under his breath, sounding absolutely exasperated.

“So you already have a date tomorrow, that’s great!” Bokuto said, and Akaashi had to gather all his strength to not hit him over the head and make him too dejected before you had to deal with him. Everyone else in the room was laughing at the show and you couldn’t help the small chuckle either. Even though your cheeks were burning red, you smiled brightly and gave Akaashi a little wave.

“I look forward to our date, Akaashi. Get back to practice, I’ll send this one back to you when I’m done with him,” you teased, nodding your head at Bokuto who was giving off ‘I know I did something wrong but I’m happy with the outcome’ vibes.

“Just call me Cupid, I can be hired for any volleyball-related dating proposals,” he announced, making the other team members wince. No way.

the Flyer Series ║ masterlist

/taglist: @cottonlemonade @dira333 @cosmiicdust @nagi-core

#haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #hq x reader #fanfiction #hq #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyu fluff #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi keiji #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi x reader #hq akaashi #akaashi fluff #bokuto koutarou #bokuto #fukurodani

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sunny44 · 18 hours

Text

Forget about us

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Ex!reader

Warnings: nothing I guess

Summary: Y/n writes a song about her ex and ends performing for him.

Note: heyy, this story was inspired by the song Forget about us from Perrie, im using her as face claim and her last name also.

Y/nedwards instagram post

Liked by @rebeccadonaldson, @maxverstappen1, @yourbff and others 28397

Y/nedwards Hey guys, I’m happy to tell you all that my new single “Forget About Us” is out now. This is a very personal song for me and I was really concerned to put it out but here we are.

Hope you guys like it

@f1fan this song is fantastic and I love it

@jnao22 I hope Carlos listens to it

@Imrebeccad In love with this song

Load for more comments

This was definitely the most personal song I had ever written. I had written songs about him and our relationship before, but nothing so deep and exposing my feelings so clearly. But after years, I finally felt ready to expose my feelings to the world, and here we are.

And it happened to be during the Monaco Grand Prix weekend, to which I was invited by Ferrari. Even though I knew he would be there, I couldn't refuse because, according to my agent, this was what I needed for my career, especially since I made a song about him, even though people didn’t know about it.

So here I was, entering the garage and being greeted by some familiar faces.

"Y/n." I turned around to see Charles, surprised to see me.

"Hi." I hugged him.

"How are you? It's been a while." He said, a bit awkwardly.

"I'm fine, and you?"

"Also fine. I heard your song, and it's amazing."

"Thanks, I listened to yours too, and I'll definitely ask you to do a piano solo for me."

"I'd love that."

"Y/n?" And the voice I least wanted to hear.

"Carlos." I said simply.

"I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, I was invited."

"Oh, that's great. How are you?" At this point, Charles had already found a way to slip away.

"Good, and you?"

"Good too." Thank God he didn't mention the song.

"You are..." he was interrupted by a woman with brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.

"Hi, love." She kissed him and looked at me. "Hi, you’re Y/n, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm Rebecca, Carlos's girlfriend." She said kindly and extended her hand to me.

"Yeah, of course." I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, I loved your song. I haven't stopped listening to it for a minute."

"Song?" Carlos asked, confused.

"The one I showed you the other night, and you said it was very good."

"Thanks for that. Look, I need to go, but it was a pleasure meeting you."

"Sure, if you want to watch the race with me."

"Thanks for the invite." I said, walking away.

It was all too much. The encounters happened very quickly, just minutes after I arrived so I needed some time away. But on my way, I bumped into someone and would have fallen if the person hadn't caught me.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry." I said as soon as I regained my balance.

"No problem, I almost made you fall." I picked up my bag from the floor. "Y/n, right?"

"Yes, nice to meet you."

"Max." He said, and that's when I realized he was another driver.

"Of course, I know who you are." He smiled. "Sorry again, I wasn't paying attention, and it's very crowded here."

"Small place with lots of people, it's normal." He laughed. "Which garage are you in?”

"Ferrari."

"I knew I recognized you from somewhere."

"Please don't tell me it's because of Carlos."

"Actually, no, you released a song a few days ago, didn't you?"

"Yes I did."

"Daniel hasn't stopped listening to it, and he insisted I listen to it too. Really good, by the way." He said kindly.

"Thanks, that means a lot."

"Now I know who it's about." He joked, and for some reason, that made me laugh.

"Yeah."

"You're welcome in the Red Bull garage anytime."

"Thanks."

"Well, I have to go, but I'll see you around."

"Sure, definitely." He waved and started to leave. "Oh, there's an event tonight, and they're looking for someone to close the night. I'll mention you."

"Wow, thank you, that would be amazing."

"See you later then."

"Sure." And then he left.

...

A few hours later, I got a call from the event organizer at Tag Heuer, saying that if I was available to sing my song at the end of the night, she would send me the details. Since I couldn't refuse, I obviously accepted.

And now, I was here, nervous, trying to think of an outfit that would look good but not too simple since Monaco wasn't a place where people wore ordinary clothes.

"Oh my God, I have nothing to wear." I said, frustrated, to myself, and seconds later, there were knocks on my door. When I opened it, my manager walked in with a black garment bag, probably with an outfit inside, followed by two more women. "What's going on?"

"Did you really think I wouldn't find a way?" She shook the hanger in her hand, and I laughed. "Have you showered?"

"Yes."

"Then you can start on the makeup."

I think an hour later, I was ready. The outfit was perfect for a performance at an event in Monaco. I would say a bit over-the-top in my opinion, but according to my manager, it was a common outfit for the place we were in.

When I left the hotel and headed to the event, I was wearing a black dress for now since I would be participating in the party a bit before my performance, and she didn't want to spoil the outfit's surprise.

When I arrived, I obviously passed by several photographers before managing to get inside. Once I stepped inside, a few gazes turned directly to me, and I just smiled and tried to blend in.

"You look beautiful." I heard a voice behind me, and it was Carlos.

"Thanks, you don't look bad yourself."

"Thanks."

"Found you." Now it was Max. "So, are you nervous about later?"

"Later?" Carlos asked.

"Oh, I mentioned her to the Tag Heuer folks. They were looking for a final performance to close the event."

"You're going to sing?"

"Yes."

"Want something to drink?"

"Oh, I don't think it's a good idea. Better not to be tripping during the performance." Max laughed and agreed. "But I'll take a sparkling water if you have."

"Sure, be right back."

"About the song..."

"We don't need to talk about it. Actually, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Because the song is about me?"

"Look, just forget it, okay? I wrote a song about something in my life, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I didn't say there was."

"Just forget it, okay? Why don't you go be with your girlfriend?"

"So you can stay here alone with Max?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's obvious he's into you."

"And this concerns you because?" He didn't respond. "That's what I thought."

With that, I left and found Max halfway. We talked until it was time for me to go. I changed clothes and was backstage, waiting for them to announce me so I could go on stage.

"And now we have one last performance, singing her newest single. Y/n Edwards."

I went on stage, and the music started playing. I felt the gazes on me, but his gaze felt like it was burning my skin. I had to be careful not to stare at him the whole song, but a few times our gazes met, and when the song was ending, I looked at him, who was smiling at me and applauding along with everyone else.

After that, I returned to the party, which now had a DJ. I received several compliments and once again encountered Carlos, but this time with his girlfriend.

"You were amazing." She said excitedly and hugged me. "It was even better live, and I loved your outfit."

"Thank you."

"Y/n." Max came with a drink in hand. "Here, your manager said it's your favorite."

"Thanks."

"Come on, let's leave them alone." Rebecca said, and reluctantly, Carlos went with her.

"Come, let's go over there." He took my hand, and we went to the other side.

Most of that night is a blur. Max and I drank too much, and I only remember waking up naked next to him the next morning. I spent the day at his apartment with him until I caught a flight to England in the evening.

...

Already back in my routine, I woke up to the alarm, ready to get dressed for an interview. When I picked up my phone, I was hit by thousands of news stories with titles like "Carlos Sainz and Rebecca Donaldson Break Up," and there was also a message among the thousands of others that caught my attention.

Bonus scene!

Y/nedwards instagram stories

“So happy that I got to play my song here in Monaco, thank you @Taghauer”

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winchesterwild78 · 2 days

Text

Behind the Scenes pt 2

Master List

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: jealousy, sex scene filming, language, SMUT

A/N: You are newly hired on Supernatural. Your character was supposed to be a one and done but the fans loved you so they wrote you in the story. You were supposed to play Sam’s love interest, but things get complicated when you fall for someone behind the scenes. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, just wanted to set up the story*

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes

This is my original work, do not take it.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

The next few days were somewhat relaxing. You hung out with Jared, Misha and some of the other cast and crew. Noticeably absent from the get togethers was Jensen. One night Misha joking around said Jensen must be held up at his apartment with his latest flavor of the month. You looked at Jared and he offered you an apologetic look. You smiled softly and turned your head, tears pricking your eyes.

You got up to walk in the kitchen to grab a water and Jared followed you. “Hey Y/N, you okay.” He questioned. You told him what happened the other day before Jensen left and he was just as confused as you were. He sent Jensen a text.

Jared: Hey man. We are all hanging out at Misha’s if you’re around.

Jensen: We might swing by. Not sure yet. I’ll let you know.

Jared: “we” who’s we?

Jensen: Katie. You met her a few months ago. We ran into each other the other day and have been hanging out.

Jared: Yeah I remember her. Um, what about Y/N? I thought you liked her.

Jensen: Yeah, it didn’t work out. It’s for the best. She’s your love interest on the show and I just think it would be for the best if we didn’t hook up.

Jared: okay man. Whatever you say. Maybe see you later.

Jared looked at you and said “I’ve been friends with him for years and I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s out with some girl right now. He said they might come by. I’m so sorry Y/N. I swear he told me he wanted to be with you.” A lump formed in your throat and you felt sick. “It’s okay Jared. I mean we only kissed and I guess he decided he really didn’t want to see where we went.” You said fighting back tears.

You took a sip of water and went outside to the deck. You sat listening to the crickets and the laughter from inside. You couldn’t believe your heart was breaking. It was just a kiss. He changed his mind. He’s allowed to do that. It’s for the best. Getting involved with a coworker is always a bad idea. You kept telling yourself this over and over. Then you heard his voice. You turned around and saw Jensen with his arm around a very attractive, slender, blonde woman.

Everyone was greeting Jensen and her. You noticed he kept looking around. You wondered what he was looking for. You heard Jensen introducing the woman as “Katie” and she seemed really sweet. You stayed on the deck unable to move. Jared saw you and made his way outside to you. “Hey, you okay” he asked throwing an arm around your shoulder. “Yeah I’m good. Just wanted to get some fresh air. I’m not feeling great so I think I’m gonna head home.” You said fighting back tears. Jared nodded and walked back inside with you.

You made your way through the people saying goodbye as you walked. You were almost at the door when Misha stopped you. “Hey, Y/N. Where are you going” he asked. As you turned to tell him goodbye you saw Jensen with Katie standing next to him. “I’m heading out. Not feeling too good. I think I had a little too much to drink and not enough to eat.” You said not making eye contact with Jensen. Misha completely clueless said “oh okay. Yeah that sucks. Before you leave did you get a chance to meet Jensen’s girl, Katie.” “No, I don’t think I have. Hello, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you Katie. I don’t mean to be rude but I really should be going.” You said after shaking her hand.

You looked up at Jensen and nodded. He looked at you almost apologizing but you had to be mistaken. “Well good night everyone, nice to meet you Katie. I’m sure I’ll see you around again soon.” You spun on your heels and went out the door.

Jensen followed you outside. You knew he was there. You could smell his cologne. “Hey, Y/N wait a second please.” He almost whispered. You looked at him “what Jensen”. “I need to explain. I” “No! (You cut him off) You don’t need to explain anything. You kissed me, wanted to be together, then you said you didn’t. There’s nothing to fucking explain. Go back inside to your girlfriend. I’m going home.” You hissed at him. You climbed in your car, slammed the door and took off.

Jensen stood in the driveway for a few minutes then went back inside. He went over to Jared and asked for your number. Jared hesitantly gave it to him.

*Time jump 3 weeks*

You started to become more comfortable with the set, the cast and the crew. Today however was going to be a more challenging shoot. Your character and Sam have sex for the first time. You’ve read over the script multiple times, met with the crew who would be present during the scene and Jared. They explained everything to you and assured you none of your body would appear on screen. Just your bare back and the only crew on set would be the director, Jared, you and two female assistants to help you in any way you needed.

Your wardrobe was flesh colored intimate covers and your robe to get you to and from set. Jared’s was pretty much the same thing. You were in your trailer reading over the script trying not to be nervous but you couldn’t help it. There was a knock at your door and it was Jared. “Hey, um Rick is sick and can’t direct the shoot today. They have called in another director.” He said reluctantly. “Oh, okay. Are they aware of the scene today and everything we have in place for it.” You asked. Jared nodded. “So Y/N, the director is Jensen.” Jared said. “Wait, what?!?” You exclaimed. “This can’t be.” You said. “Why would they have him direct?!” You practically yelled.

“He has experience and he was available today. The studio didn’t want to push the schedule so we were behind. It’s going to be okay. I promise. Jensen is very professional and I’ll be there.” He assured you. You sighed. “Okay Jared. Let’s get this over with.” You stood heading towards the door.

As you and Jared approached the set you saw Jensen looking incredible. You instinctively bit your lip. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps. It wasn’t fair how this man could look like sex on two legs no matter what he was wearing.

Jensen’s voice boomed over the set asking for everyone to clear out unless they were part of the scene. He approached you and Jared and asked if you two were ready. You both nodded. He went over the scene and how he was going to get multiple angles and shots so they can piece together the best ones. He called for places. You and Jared removed your robes. The assistant helping you held up a sheet to wrap around you until you got in the bed. You climbed in and snuggled to “Sam”. “And action” Jensen called.

The beginning of the scene was you laying beside Sam and he was making sure you were ready for the next step. You nodded and he cupped your face kissing you. Things started heating up and the scene moved on. Sam was hovering over Lilah. “God you’re so beautiful, Lilah. Are you sure you’re ready” Sam asked. “Yes I am. Take me Sam. I need you” you said. Jared positioned himself in between your legs and “pushed in” as he started to move and you moaned you heard Jensen yell “cut”.

“What’s wrong” Jared asked. “I don’t know. I just don’t think she’s giving a convincing scene. I need more from you. Sam is a moose and he’s big. I need to believe it.” Jensen said. “Okay” you said in a small voice. Jared leaned down and said you did great but to follow his lead. You shook your head in agreement.

“Action” Jensen yelled. Sam pushed in again and you gasped loudly grabbing his shoulders. Moans from you and Jared filled the room. It was very convincing. Jared leaned down and said in your ear “you’re doing great. Now let’s get this party started”. You stifled a giggle. Jared sped up and flipped you over on your knees. This took everyone by surprise. Jensen’s jaw was on the floor but he couldn’t call cut. The way the sheet laid over your body and the moans falling from your lips turned him on more than he cared to admit. If anyone had been looking at his they would have noticed he was getting hard.

Sam and Lilah were moaning and filling the room with the sounds of pleasure. Jared moved and had you straddle him. The sheet pooled around your hips exposing your breasts. Jensen bit his lip but kept rolling. You started to ride Jared and ran your fingers in your hair. Your breasts were bouncing up and down and Sam sat up cupping them. You moaned his name as he took a nipple in his mouth. You knew he couldn’t really because the covers on them, but your moans were pretty convincing. So convincing Jensen yelled cut.

“Jared what the hell man. None of this was part of the scene” Jensen yelled. “You know we improvise a lot of these scenes. What the hell is your problem man. You keep stopping the scenes” Jared demanded. You looked over your shoulder and saw Jensen had a noticeable bulge in his jeans. Jared saw it too and reality struck him. Jensen was jealous. Jensen called for lunch and everyone cleared the set except you, Jared and Jensen. You covered up with the sheet and Jared got up to talk to Jensen.

“Dude what the hell is wrong with you. The scenes are going great. She’s an incredible actress. Give her a break. You’re the one who decided not to pursue her.” Jared reminded him. Jensen ran his hands down his face in a frustrated sigh. “I know. The scene was perfect. You guys have incredible chemistry and I guess I got jealous. I want her to moan my name and be mine. I fucked up man. She wants nothing more to do with me. Not that I blame her.” Jensen said. Jared looked at him and said “Man you have to figure out what you want. If you want her then tell her. Stop being a coward. If you don’t want her then let her be. It’s not right man.”

“You’re right man. Can you give us a minute to talk” Jensen asked his friend. Jared nodded and left the building. You sat on the bed covered up as Jensen approached you. “Hey Y/N. Can we talk” he asked. You nodded and he sat on the bed. “Look you were doing an incredible job with that scene. I’m so sorry for being an ass.” “If I did so well why did you keep interrupting the scene” you asked. “Honestly, I got jealous. I wanted you to call my name out and me being the one having you. I’m so sorry.” He said as he put his head down.

You took his hand and said “I don’t understand. You’re with Katie and you made it clear you didn’t want me. Why would you be jealous.” “I’m not with her. I don’t want her. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I was scared. I’m sorry.” Jensen said kissing your hand.

You took your hand and lifted his chin staring into his green eyes. You leaned in and kissed him. At first it felt like he was hesitant but then he deepened the kiss. Pulling your body flush with his. His hands dancing up and down your bare skin. Goosebumps erupted all over and you moaned into his mouth. You both pulled away gasping for air and as soon as you both caught it you were kissing again.

Jensen pulled away and looked at your still naked body and bit his lip. “Can we take this to my trailer” he asked. “Yes. Please Jensen I want you”. He helped you up and you put on your robe. He took your hand and the two of you walked to his trailer. As soon as the door was closed and locked his hands were on your body again.

He led you to the bedroom and laid you on the bed. He helped you out of the robe and body covers from the scene. Jensen stood back admiring your body. “Fuck you’re sexy baby”. He said and your face flushed. You bit your lip and told him he was overdressed. He smirked and said “yes ma’am” and he removed his clothes. When his rock hard cock sprang free from his boxers you gasped at the size. You made eye contact with him and he smirked.

He licked his lips “I want to taste you sweetheart”. He parted your legs and crawled in between your thighs kissing all the way up to your dripping folds. He took his fingers and parted your folds. He smirked when he felt how wet you were. “You’re dripping baby”. He stuck two fingers in and hooked them. You gasped and your walls clenched around his thick fingers. He moved them in and out getting you ready to take him. He leaned down and started to lick your engorged clit. You moaned his name as you arched your back. Your fingers found his hair and you pulled him into your dripping pussy. He was licking and sucking like a man starved. You felt yourself close to the edge. “I’m going to cum Jensen. Oh fuck. Right there baby” you screamed. He licked faster and pushed you over the edge. As you came you screamed his name and he kept licking and sucking as your body grew more sensitive. You screamed again as another, more intense orgasm hit. Jensen grinned as he pulled his fingers out of you.

“Damn baby, you taste delicious and you came so hard.” He said smiling. “Oh my god, Jensen. That was amazing.” You said as you laid back. “You sure you want me, Y/N” he questioned. “Yes, please. I want you in me” you begged. Jensen grabbed a condom and pumped himself a few times before rolling the condom on. Once it was on he lined himself up and asked if you were ready. You shook your head yes. He pushed in slowly. You gasped and grabbed his shoulders. Jensen leaned down and kissed you as he pushed further in.

Once he was all the way in he lifted your legs and set a steady pace. Moans and the sounds of pleasure filled the room. Jensen and you were exploring each other’s bodies with every thrust and movement. He felt incredible and he fit perfectly inside you. The perfect combination of pleasure and pain.

He moved at an easy pace and each thrust he hit a spot inside you nobody ever had.

He pulled out and laid down having you straddle him. As he looked up at you he said “damn this is an incredible view”. He cupped your breasts as you lined him up and sat down on him pushing him all the way in. The new position had you seeing stars. He was in so deep and when he lifted his hips he pushed further in. You grinded down on him and arched your back. You threw your head back moaning and gasping in pleasure.

Jensen leaned up and kissed your lips and made his way down to your nipples. Each bounce brought him closer to his release. He bucked his hips into you causing you to gasp loudly. “I’m gonna cum Y/N” Jensen said in a low voice. “Cum for me baby. Fill me up” you said with a seductive tone. He grabbed your hips pulling you down onto him. He grunted and came hard. Filling the condom with his hot seed. You climbed off of him when he finished and he got up to clean himself up.

When Jensen got back in bed he pulled you close to him. He kissed your head and you snuggled into him and giggled. “What’s so funny, Y/N” he asked with a smile. “So this was taking it slow” you laughed. Jensen laughed and said “I guess for us it was”.

You laid in his arms as he pulled you tight. “How much longer do we have on lunch, Mr Director” you giggled. “About an hour. Why what did you have in mind” he asked smiling. “I can think of something to fill that time” you whispered in his ear. He smiled, growled and pulled you to his lips. Giggles and laughter filled the room as you and Jensen kissed and held each other.

Your heart leaped with every touch, and kiss. You could see yourself giving him your heart, you just hoped it would be safe in his hands. Your y/e/c eyes looked into his green as the giggles and laughter quieted. He brushed a stray piece of hair from your face and his hand ran down your face. “So beautiful” he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. You smiled, blushed and knew in that moment you could definitely fall for Jensen. It was exciting but so terrifying. For now though, you were perfectly content just lying in his arms.

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373

#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #jensen ackles x plus size reader #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles #jackles #jensen ackles x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #spn

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hoesformatt · 3 hours

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ROOT BEER

chris fluff, i got this idea when I was watching back this car video and I wanted to write this (i have two matt smuts cooking rn guys, don’t kill me)

dad!chris • mom!reader | poc friendly

contains: all cute shit

word count: 0.6k

It was Christmas Eve and everybody has finished eating the dinner that me and Chris’ mom made for his family. This Christmas we stayed with his parents this year because last year we were with my family. Josiah had been energised from all the dinner and he was running around the dinner table in circles singing Christmas carols.

I loved seeing how happy he was for Christmas because ever since it started snowing in Boston he’s being singing Christmas songs while writing his Christmas list. Nick caught Josiah in his arms when he ran towards him, spinning him around making sweet giggles come from Josiah.

Matt and Chris entered through the front door as they left right after dinner to buy some of the baking items I needed and some other stuff.

“Thank you so much baby” I pecked his lips while I grabbed the plastic Walmart bags from his hands. “Bro it was so full in the walmart, people were running around in there like it was black friday” Matt said, pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down in exhaustion. “Some people has carts so full of food it was like they were having the last supper it was crazy” They were both felt like warriors for going in during extra-last minute Christmas shopping.

I sighed loudly when I pulled out two large bottle of root beers. “Chris… Come on babe we don’t need this stuff, we already have a bunch of beverages in fridge” I couldn’t stand whenever he did this shit, wasting money and buying unhealthy foods for Josiah as he was an avid sugar fein.

“Wait, baby gimme one of those red cups and the bottle” I shook my head, passing the items to him. He carefully poured the root beer into the cup, giggling mischievously. “Josiah!” He hurriedly put away the bottles in the fridge, hearing his sons little steps into the kitchen. Josiah clapped, announcing that he was inside the room.

Chris crouched to give his mini me the red cup, and Josiah furrowed his eyebrows in confusion to the unfamiliar drink. “Don’t tell your mom… but it’s beer” Chris whispered very loudly, lifting his hand to cover his mouth while he spoke. “It’s beer?!” The 4-and-a-half year old was puzzled looking down at the drink then up to his dad, growing a smile on his face.

“If you drink it, you’re gonna get drunk” He gasped loudly, holding the cup with grip, dipping a finger in the liquid and then sticking his tongue out to taste it “is’ good” he puts his thumb and went back to holding it with two hands, chugging down the soda.

Chris laughed, watching his gullible kid drink the pop. He walked away as if he made an accomplishment, shaking his head before he leaped onto the couch.

With the rest of the night, I baked a cherry flavoured Christmas cake, putting all of love into it and listening to music in the background until I heard Josiah mumbling.

I began to the laugh hysterically when he walked into the kitchen funnily. “Chris! Come get our son!” Chris raced to the kitchen, watching Josiah tweak out. “Oh my gosh, where’s my phone?!” He ran back to fetch his phone and instantly started to film Josiah be ‘drunk’.

MaryLou picked up her grandchild and he groaned loudly, laying his head down on her shoulder. Chris set the camera in his face making Josiah slap it away. “I think somebody’s ready to go to sleep” Mary Lou told him and he screamed, trying to wiggle out her arms. “No sleep!” He screamed.

tags: @lunariaxzz @chrissturniolosbitch @leahsbussy @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @idkwhosnyla @zayyluvz @i8kth @nonamegirlxsturniolo @ka1nani @livvy4realll @fuzzycupcakebeliever @mattgirly @love4chris @mattslutt @nickgetsmewetter @hearts4chriss @thenickgirl @jnkvivi

#hoesformatt #christopher sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #fan fiction #fan fic #sturniolo triplets #riyahspeaks

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femalefemur · 18 hours

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1. Captains and Cabins.

warnings: mentions of child abuse, mentions of child death, mentions of murder, mentions of dead bodies, mentions of skeletons, mentions of desecrating graves, mentions of piss, please let me know if I missed anything!

word count: 1.2k

synopsis: Kyle, Simon, Johnny and you have volunteered at a summer camp, you've arrived a week early to help with preparations, what could go wrong?

A/N: I am aware that summer camps are not a thing in the UK, I'm also not American so I have no idea if this is accurate, summer camps are also not a thing where I live but camping with other groups are.

“There’s a legend that the camp is haunted, they say that the guy who originally owned this place went crazy and killed all the counsellors one night while they were asleep. Snapped, just like that” Johnny snapped his fingers to emphasise his point as he spoke, a grin spread across his handsome face.

“Shut up, he did not, that’s just a story kids tell to scare each other” Kyle rolled his eyes as he carried a box into the hall and placed it down with the others.

“He did too! How else do you explain them all disappearing?” Johnny frowned as he crossed his arms and pouted at the taller man.

“They probably just got lost in the woods, probably went for a hike and didn’t stay on the path or something. These woods are huge so it’s pretty easy to get lost in them even now, imagine back then when they only had paper maps” Kyle rolled his eyes as he mirrored Johnny’s stance.

“Whatever,” Johnny rolled his eyes back and turned his attention back to you “don’t listen to him bonnie, the guy definitely went crazy.” “Sure,” you laughed as you looked at them both “I have to say Kyle’s story sounds more plausible than a guy suddenly went crazy and killed everyone” you shrugged as you left the hall to bring in another box, the two men trailing behind you and bickering about what really happened.

The Camp that they were arguing about was the very camp that you were currently at, Camp 141. You had been hired as a camp counsellor for the summer along with your three best friends, Kyle, Johnny and Simon. The three of you were inseparable since you had met in high school and that friendship had carried over into your adult years.

The four of you had been through it all, helped Simon leave his abusive home, been there for him when his family died, held his hands at the cemetery as he cried at his mother and brother’s grave. You had all watched him piss on his piece of shit father’s grave that very night, hell you’d even helped him smash the headstone and every one after that until they finally stopped replacing it. You’d all been there when Johnny’s family kicked him out for coming out as bisexual, taking him into your homes with open arms, just as you’d all taken Simon in. Been there when Kyle started feeling the pressure of getting into a good university. You’d reminded him to sleep and eat, dragged his fingers away from his mouth when he’d started to bite his nails down to the quick from the stress of it all.

You’d all moved in together into a flat half-way between Oxford and London when you had all finally graduated high school, free to finally escape your small town and leave behind the bad memories. Kyle’s rigorous studying had paid off and he’d been accepted into Oxford University, and Simon, Johnny and you had been accepted into various universities across London. None of you minded the commute as long as it meant you could stay together, your little found family. That all led to the present, you had all graduated university a good few years ago, settled into your jobs and moved together into an infinitely better flat, now that you all had a much better and stable income.

It was Simon’s idea to volunteer as camp counsellors for the summer, he’d said it would be good for you all to get away from the city for a bit and be close to nature. Though you suspected that he wanted to do something for the children, the camp was for children aged thirteen to fourteen which placed them around the age that Simon’s brother was when he passed. After the three of you had sat around the dining table and looked at every inch of the brochure you’d all happily agreed, not that any of you needed convincing, not with the way Simon’s face had lit up when he talked about the camp. So you’d all taken time off and found yourselves packing into Johnny’s 4WD for the long trip up north to the camp, arriving a week before it was set to open to the children to help set up.

The camp director hadn’t been there when you’d all arrived, but he had left a note explaining that he’d had to make a trip into town for some last minute hardware supplies. He had also left instructions to bring in the boxes from the storage shed and into the main hall, along with where your counsellors' cabins were and told you to make yourselves at home. You’d all worked tirelessly for the whole afternoon, bringing the boxes in and unpacking the various supplies and activities from them, the thought of children happily following along with the activities making you smile. Your childhoods may not have been the best but you sure as hell could make these children’s childhoods a good one, even if it was only for a couple of weeks.

“Where do you think the director is?” You had sat down outside on the steps up to the main hall, a cold bottle of water in your hands as you relaxed.

“Who knows, should have definitely been back by now” Simon frowned as he glanced at the setting sun on the horizon, shades of pink and orange painting the sky as he leaned back on his arms and tapped his boot against yours, a silent “I love you.”

The director still hadn’t returned by nightfall and you’d all made yourselves right at home, settling into the cabin before exploring the kitchen and making dinner. You’d finally settled in for the night, showered away the grime and sweat of the day before slipping into a comfortable pair of cotton sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from Kyle. It had already been oversized on him and on you it was even larger, it also somehow still smelled of him no matter how many times it got washed, the warm scent of musk, honey and oud clinging to the fibres of the fabric.

“You know they say he used to be a SAS Captain” Johnny spoke as he lay on his bunk bed and scrolled on his phone before Kyle smacked it out of his hand and onto his face.

“Stop talking about that, we really don’t need to hear about a murderous camp director right before we go to bed at said camp” Kyle scowled as he was hit in the face with Johnny’s pillow.

“Someone scared?” Johnny teased him as he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “He’s right, it’s just unsettling to hear about it right before bed” You huffed as you watched the two play wrestle and laugh, snuggling in further under the covers while Simon joined in on the wrestling.

“Am just saying that he could have snapped, probably saw a lot of shit as a Captain, and it could have gotten to him” Johnny shrugged as the three of them lay sprawled out after the wrestling. “Probably knew how to kill them quietly and hide the bodies too” he kept speaking, “maybe they’re buried under the floorboard” Johnny laughed as your pillow hit his face.

“Please shut up, I don’t need to think about sleeping on top of literal dead bodies” You frowned at him as you picked your pillow up and tucked it back under your head, closing your eyes in hopes that you would fall asleep soon and not dream of skeletons or murderers. Failing to notice the shadow that passed by the window behind the men.

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el-255 · 1 day

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One thing I like in full speed ahead is that we’re given a very insightful view of the dynamic between Odysseus, Eurylochus, and Polites right off the bat. Eurylochus is the more no nonsense right hand man who is willing to do whatever it takes for all 600 men to make it home to Ithica whereas Polites is more the moral compass who keeps Odysseus and the crew’s values in check.

What’s interesting to me is that we’re sort of fed the comparison of the angel and devil on Odysseus’s shoulder but the question is, who’s who?

Most people would instinctively say that of course it’s Eurylochus who is the devil and Polites the angel. Eurylochus is immediately willing to raid the island despite being unaware of whether the people on the island are innocent or not whereas Polites wants to try and resolve things peacefully and barter with the people for food.

But the thing is, I think both have the capacity to be the angel and devil in this scenario.

Yes, Eurylochus is often willing to take the violent route but he is also a man who has been at war for 10 years and knows the price that must be paid. No, the things he does aren’t morally right but when we think of how far he would go to protect the men he has known and have likely become family to him over 10 years, would any of the men think him wrong for doing his best to look out for them even if it meant harming others?

Yes, Polities is doing his best to try and reserve the last dredges of their humanity after spending 10 years fighting and killing in the war but oftentimes it is his naivety that gets them into trouble. No, he doesn’t mean for this to happen, everything he does comes from a well meaning place with his attempts to find peaceful solutions to make it home but would the crew who lose their life to the cyclops and later to Poseidon appreciate his efforts?

In this situation dealing with the aftermath of a horrific war, they’re both right and justified in what they’re doing which is what makes their characters so endearing and interesting. Neither of them are to blame for their differing ideologies and both do their best to protect the crew and Odysseus.

Because, of course, at the end of the day, it is all down to Odysseus to make the final decisions as the captain but he values both of their opinions greatly, Eurylochus as his second in command, and Polities as his closest friend, which means he ends up listening to them more often than not.

Odysseus is a perfect mix of the both of them at the beginning of the musical, both rational and merciful as he has both of their counsels at his disposal, but it is this exact thing that leads to his downfall: he needs both of them to maintain his status as a good captain which is why it all goes to shit when he leans too heavily on either side. It’s his guilt over the death of the infant that leads to him utilising Polities’ ideology and getting into the whole debacle with the cyclops. And after Polities demise, he is left with only Eurylochus to guide him which leads to his descent to monster and losing the trust of his men.

Without this balance between two greatly contrasting perspectives and ideologies, Odysseus is unable to use either without causing great damage to his crew and himself. Whether Polites is the angel and Eurylochus the devil and vice versa, this is what eventually leads to the mutiny of the crew and demonstrates why it is only Odysseus who makes it home.

#epic the musical #epic: the musical #epic the troy saga #epic the cyclops saga #epic the ocean saga #epic the circe saga #epic the underworld saga #jorge rivera herrans #this is not attacking either of the characters #i love eurylochus and polites very dearly #but i find it very interesting how this is set up #this all stems from my latest listen to full speed ahead #character study #sort of

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krirebr · 3 hours

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More Than This 5

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader

Word Count: ~6.1k

Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.

Warnings: Heavy angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, Linda being Linda, all of the Thrombeys being really awful actually, explicit language, references to bad sex, flagrant disregard for HIPAA (actually, just assume that HIPAA doesn't exist in this universe), the slooowest burn - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Oh god. I promise that there will be a point when this isn't so sad all the time and that point is soon. But it also isn't today. I'm so sorry. 😬

Huge thanks as always to @paperweight91 who listened to me whine and read countless fuzzy screenshots, and gave great advice and was just all around awesome. And to @stargazingfangirl18 who reached out with encouragement when the words just weren't coming.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!

As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

Ransom had the complete collection of Harlan’s books. You couldn’t say exactly why that surprised you, but it did. He even had the two poorly-received romance novels Harlan had written under a pseudonym. You hadn’t known the two of them were so close, but then again, you still didn’t really know anything about Ransom.

So that’s what you’d been doing with your days, making your way through Harlan’s complete works. You were currently reading one about an au pair that had been found dead in her charge’s locked nursery when your phone rang.

Your brow furrowed. The list of people who ever contacted you had gotten much shorter since you’d moved to Boston. Steve, Ransom, Linda unfortunately. That was pretty much it. You looked down at your phone to see your mother’s name. Oh.

You’d expected her to reach out in some way since your wedding and had tried very hard not to feel hurt when she hadn’t. Everyone’s lives had moved on. You were the only one stuck. But you still hadn’t had it in you to be the one who called her. You took a deep breath and answered your phone.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Honey! How are you?”

You kept in your sigh. “I’m fine. How are you?”

“Good, good,” she said, but she sounded sad. She always sounded so fucking sad. It struck you then, that that’s probably how you’d sound too, in ten or twenty years. Maybe less. Probably a lot less. “It’s so nice to hear your voice honey.”

“Yeah,” you said, and, pathetically, you could feel the tears starting to gather in your eyes. You weren’t angry with her. You couldn’t be. It wasn’t her fault she was so broken. It was inevitable. For all of you. And your frustration with her didn’t change how much you missed her. Missed home. Missed the way things used to be. “It’s good to hear you too.”

“I know it’s been a while,” she said softly, “but I wanted to give you a chance to get settled. How are things going?”

“They’re going fine,” you said quietly. You paused. You didn’t want to say anything bad or worry anyone, but also it was your mom. “I don’t know. It’s different here. I don’t have anything to do.”

She just chuckled. “Cherish that. It’ll change soon and then you’ll miss this time.” You didn’t know what to say to that so you didn’t say anything. After a few moments of silence, she continued. “And how’s Ransom?”

You stifled a groan. You didn’t want to talk about him. Things had been… better since your panic attack. He came home at a decent hour regularly. You fucked most nights now. But he was still just this looming presence. You didn’t know what to do with him. “He’s fine,” you said with a shrug.

That was apparently the wrong answer, judging by the little hum she made. “I know it’s hard at the beginning. When I first married your father–” she cut herself off with a deep breath. “Remember, honey, keeping him happy is your one job now. It’ll get easier the longer you do it.”

A few tears finally broke free and fell down your cheeks. “I don’t– I don’t know him. I don’t know what makes him happy.”

“Then finding out will be a good use of your free time, won’t it?” You glanced at the book beside you, feeling shamed in spite of yourself. “I know it feels so hard, but men are shockingly easy. They just want to be taken care of. That’s all you have to do. Make him dinner. Keep his home warm. Give him heirs. Don’t argue. That’s all. You’re going to be such a good wife to him, sweetheart. I know you can do it.”

You shrunk down into the couch, wrapping your arms around your knees, making yourself as small as possible. You hated this. Hated that she didn’t want more for you. That she’d never tried to give you more. But you were tired, too, of being upset with her for not doing the impossible. What else was she supposed to have done? What else could she give you when she didn’t have anything herself? “Ok,” you whispered. It was all you could manage.

“Joseph says hello, of course,” she said, and you wanted to laugh. He’d done no such thing. “He’s so proud that you’ve made such a good match. He’ll be happy to hear it’s going well.”

“Mmm,” was all you were able to say. You hated this. You couldn’t do it anymore. “It’s so good to hear from you, mom. But uh, I have to– I have to go.”

“Oh,” she said, sounding disappointed. “Well, alright. I miss you so much, sweetheart. We’ll talk again soon. I love you.”

You could barely hold the tears back now. “I love you too,” you said, your voice thick. “Bye.” The moment you hung up the phone, the damn broke. You couldn’t stop it. You cried for your mom. You cried for yourself. You cried for the way everything had changed and there was no going back. You cried because this was a day when it felt like no one on earth was on your side. A shaking Lola forced her way into your lap and you held her until you were able to calm down.

Once you’d stopped crying, you looked around. You couldn’t sit still, your mother’s words ringing in your ears. Your eyes locked on the kitchen. That was something you could do. You glanced at the time. If Ransom came home at his new regular time, it would be tight, but you could do it if you made something simple. But not too simple. Something that showed effort. That you were trying.

You got up and looked in the fridge. All those tidy little glass containers full of meals his housekeeper, Carol, made. You’d never felt like they were taunting you before, but now. Now you wanted to smash them. You could do this. You could make him like you. Show him what you were worth. You could make yourself a life better than your mother’s, maybe. Get him on your side.

There weren’t a ton of raw ingredients, but after combing through the entire contents of the fridge and pantry, you found what you’d need for a decent spaghetti. Carol was probably planning it for later in the week. Well, now she wouldn’t have to. You’d do it yourself.

You put some music on and got to work. Losing yourself in the prep. But you’d lost yourself too much maybe, because you were still chopping when Ransom walked in the door.

Lola, of course, rushed to greet him. It still rankled. She didn’t realize that one wrong move would have him kicking her out. His words from that first dinner had never left your mind. But a few days ago, he’d started reaching down to pet her as she danced around him. You didn’t know what either of them were playing at.

He looked at you, now trying to hurry through the rest of your prep, his brow furrowed. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m making dinner,” you said, gesturing to all your work obviously. You looked at the time. You weren’t slow. He was early. Why the fuck was he early? He was ruining all your plans.

“Why?” he asked as he took off his coat, then shoes. “Carol’s put plenty of meals in the fridge.”

“Because I wanted to!” You said, your knife coming down on the onion under your hand too hard.

The knife hitting the cutting board caught his attention. He looked at what you were doing. “I don’t like onions.”

You threw down the knife more carelessly than you should have. It slid across the cutting board before coming to a stop at the edge of the counter. “Then why were they in the pantry?!”

“How should I know?!” he shouted back, matching your tone. But then he looked at you and stopped. “Have you been crying? What happened?”

You froze. Shit. You hadn’t even thought to check what you looked like. You swiped at your face and turned away. “It’s the onions. Obviously.”

“Your face– that looks like more than onions.” He now stood at the edge of the kitchen, only the island between you.

“I’m fine!” you snapped, then forced yourself to take a breath. “My mom called,” you conceded. “It’s fine.”

“Oh,” was all he said for a moment and then, “You and your parents are close then?”

You couldn’t explain why the question irritated you so much. Maybe it was the assumption of homesickness. Or referring to Joseph as your parent. Or just him being here earlier than he was supposed to be, asking you anything. You couldn’t keep the shortness out of your voice when you responded, “My mom. Sometimes.”

You looked around at your progress, the mess you’d made, the onions he didn’t want. So much for keeping him happy. What a stupid idea. You felt done. Over everything. You began cleaning up all the food, scooping it into the garbage.

“What are you doing?”

“I changed my mind! You don’t want any of this anyway. Have one of Carol’s fucking dinners.”

“The fuck is going on with you?!” he shouted as he watched you clean up the kitchen.

“I changed my mind,” you repeated, throwing the cutting board into the sink. “I’m not hungry. I’m going upstairs.” You stomped over to the staircase.

“You’re not going to eat anything?” he called after you.

“No! I’m fine!” You shouted as you took the first few stairs.

“Yeah, you sure seem fucking fine,” he grumbled as he headed to the fridge.

You stopped and glared at him. “Wake me if I’m asleep when you come up. I’m ovulating, so. Tonight’s important.”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah,” he said, flatly. “I got your text.” That was news to you. He'd never responded to it. As you turned to continue up the stairs, you heard him add under his breath, “Although I’m not sure why you feel like you need to be awake for it.”

You stopped and turned around, coming back down a step. “What was that?!”

He turned to you, one of Carol’s glass containers in his hand, and sighed. “Nothing. I’ve had a long day.” You just stared at each other and then he added, “Aren’t you tired of it being such a chore?”

Something crumpled in you at that, but you didn’t want to stop and look at what it was. “Well,” you said. “The sooner I’m pregnant, the sooner it won’t be.” Then you turned and stomped the rest of the way upstairs.

When he woke you later that night, he was already ready to go. You didn’t even take off your pajamas, just slid your shorts down to your calves. He was right. It was a chore.

It was a few days later when he texted you in the middle of the day. You were hiding in the bedroom while Carol cleaned downstairs. She was still mad that you’d wasted the spaghetti ingredients. You were reading in bed with Lola when your phone buzzed beside you.

**Big family thing at Harlan’s on Saturday. We’ll be expected.

For some reason, it was the ‘we’ that caught you. It was the first time you’d realized you were a package deal now. If Ransom was invited somewhere, you would accompany him. And vice versa if you were ever invited anywhere. You couldn’t imagine it, with how small your world had gotten.

The rest of his message caught up with you. His family. Linda had reached out multiple times since her awful visit. Every time you spoke to her, you got so small. You worried that prolonged exposure to her might cause you to completely disappear.

Aside from his parents, you’d barely interacted with the rest of his family at the wedding. It would be fine. You would be fine. You’d have to be. They were your family now too. You’d be seeing so much of them. For the rest of your life. You ignored how much your chest tightened at that thought.

Saturday came too soon.

Ransom paced around the bedroom while you both got ready. You’d never seen him like this before. He wasn’t dressed. He just kept walking in and out of his closet. And looking at you. You didn’t know if you were doing something wrong. He didn’t say anything, he just couldn’t keep still. The one time you’d asked if he was alright, he’d barked back at you that he was fine, so you hadn’t asked again.

Watching him pace around was making you even more anxious than you already were. So you focused all you could on getting yourself ready. You’d asked Ransom earlier if his family dressed for dinner and he’d just grunted in response. But it felt like a no, so you wore one of your favorite day dresses. It was your favorite color. You hoped it would give you confidence. You did your hair. You put diamond studs in your ears, with a matching tennis bracelet on your wrist. Reasonable heels on your feet. A spritz of perfume on your pulse points. It was the best you could do without more information.

You stood in the middle of the bedroom once you were done. Ransom was still undressed, still moving. “Uh,” you ventured, hesitantly, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. “Will we have enough time to get there?”

“Who gives a shit?” he growled, thundering back into his closet. A few moments later he came back out, wearing dress slacks and a cream cable-knit sweater. There were holes in it. You could see them clearly from the other side of the room.

“Ransom,” you said softly, oddly feeling like you were speaking to a spooked animal, “don’t you think that sweater’s a little worn?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” he rasped. “Let’s go.” Then he was out of the room and halfway down the stairs, with you scrambling to keep up behind him.

The drive to Harlan’s country estate was mostly silent. You’d tried to turn on the radio at one point, but Ransom just turned it right back off. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his hands were bright red. You wondered if he was hurting himself. You didn’t know why he was so stressed. You were the one about to walk into the lion’s den, the one who had no idea what was waiting for you. It was his family. He’d be fine. You had no idea if you would be. You rested your hands in your lap, clutching them, and settled into the silence.

You knew that Harlan lived quite a ways out of town, but you still got to his home much too quickly. The large mansion loomed over you as Ransom parked his car amongst the others in the drive. He turned off the ignition and then just sat there, staring ahead. Just as you were about to call his name, he slapped the steering wheel harshly with one hand then growled “Let’s go!” to you and got out of the car. Once again, you scrambled after him, but this time, he slowed, slightly, to let you catch up. Once you had, he put a firm hand on the small of your back and ushered you up the path and into the house. You didn’t have time to react to that or try to figure out what on earth he was doing before you were greeted by a woman Ransom snidely called Franny. She responded with a very curt “Hugh” of her own then introduced herself to you as the housekeeper. She took your coats, and then Ransom’s hand was back on you, guiding you into a sitting room.

The entire family was already there, most with drinks in hand, and they all turned to watch you enter. You felt pinned by their gazes. “Well!” Ransom’s uncle Walt called out. “Look who finally decided to show. And just in time for the food, of course!”

Ransom stiffened slightly beside you then smirked. “Well, thank god we’re in time for your fifth drink, Walt. Who’d want to miss that?”

Walt scowled as he got up from his seat, then lumbered across the room, knocking his shoulder into Ransom’s as he passed and jostling you in the process. You started to sway a little, and Ransom’s hand immediately came to your hip to try to steady you. Your gaze flitted down to it, but just as quickly it was gone.

Everyone else began to get up and make their way out of the room. Meg, at least, gave you a small smile and wave, but otherwise, you were mostly ignored. That was, at least, until there were only three people left, Ransom’s parents and Harlan.

Harlan immediately hugged you. “It’s wonderful to see you, my dear. You look so lovely.” He took a step back to look at you both. “I trust you’re taking good care of each other. This is one of the most important times in your marriage. I hope you’re cherishing it.”

“Sure Grandad,” Ransom snarked, “we’re loving being married to a complete stranger.”

“Ah, now, you’ll only remain strangers if you let that happen.”

You saw Ransom about to open his mouth to say something else, so you jumped in with a quiet, “Thank you, Harlan, we really appreciate that.”

Harlan smiled at you, big and genuine, and then clapped Ransom on the shoulder. “See, my boy,” he said. “I knew she was exactly what you needed!”

Ransom’s jaw ticked but he didn’t say anything. You didn’t know how to respond either. Harlan’s kindness had a way of making you feel invisible.

Linda stepped up to you all then. “Darling,” she said, her tone dripping friendliness in a way that made you brace for impact. “I see not even your positive influence can make my son be on time. How disappointing.” She added a little chuckle onto the end, but you took it as the reprimand it was meant to be. You pasted on your most benign smile, but as always, she made you feel about a foot tall. You had no idea how anyone thought you were supposed to make this man do anything. Like he cared about what you thought or wanted. Like you had any power at all.

“Is that why you married me off, mother?” Ransom asked, matching her friendly tone, but when you looked up at him, his eyes were hard. “So there’d be someone to handle me?”

“Well,” she said, a placid smile on her face to match your own, “someone has to. Lord knows you haven’t listened to me in years.”

“And yet,” Ransom said, his tone dropping all friendliness, “you still got me here, didn’t you?”

The look on his face startled you. You’d never seen him this angry. Without thinking, you reached out and wrapped your fingers around his wrist. At your touch, his eyes snapped to yours. You weren’t sure exactly what he found there, you felt lost enough that you couldn’t imagine your expression was much help, but after staring at you for what felt like an age, he gave you the smallest nod and relaxed his posture.

“We don’t want dinner to get cold,” Harlan called from the doorway.

Linda straightened, finally ending the standoff with her son. “Yes, of course,” she said. Then she looked at you, really looked, her eyes traveling up and down your body, taking in all of you and everything you were wearing. She quirked her eyebrow at you and let out a distinctly judgemental little hum. Then that friendly smile was back and she turned away from you. “Oh, Dad, there was actually something I wanted to talk to you about,” she said as they both left the room.

You stared after her. You didn’t know what you’d done wrong. You’d looked at everyone when you’d arrived and confirmed that you weren’t under or overdressed. She herself was wearing a simple but smart pantsuit. Your clothes were nice, clean, and pressed. You were put together. What could her problem possibly be? You tried to breathe but you could still feel her looking at you and your chest was so tight.

You were brought back to the present by Richard wrapping you in a hug. His lips brushed your cheek as he said, “So nice to see you again, honey.” Then one of his hands on your back traveled lower until it grazed the top of your ass. You couldn’t help the way you jumped.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Dad?” Ransom shouted next to you. “I’m standing right here!”

Richard pulled away and you took a deep breath at being free of him. What the hell had just happened?

“What?” Richard rounded on his son. “I can’t greet my daughter-in-law? You’re so sensitive, Ransom. A little attention is flattering, isn’t it, honey?”

They were both staring at you. You knew you needed to say something but all you could do in your shock was gape at them.

Ransom wrapped one arm around your waist to pull you close to him. “You’re a fucking creep,” he growled.

Richard just scowled and made his way to the hall. “Disrepectful little shit,” he muttered as he left the room.

It wasn’t until his father was completely gone that Ransom dropped his arm from around you. He looked you right in the eye, his face so serious, as he asked, “Are you ok?” And there was something in his tone, fear maybe, that startled you just as much as Richard’s hand.

“I’m fine,” you nodded, your voice shaking only the slightest bit. When he still didn’t release you from his gaze, you brushed your fingers over his arm. “I’m alright.”

Finally, he nodded but didn’t really relax. “He’s–” he began, but cut himself off. “Just, watch out for him.”

“Ok,” you said, trying to sound strong. Reassuring. Ransom still just stood there. “Are– are you alright?”

That seemed to bring him out of wherever he’d been. “What?” he asked, somewhat sharply. “Yeah, of course. Come on,” he said, turning to the doorway. “Let’s get this shitshow over with.”

Everyone else was already seated at the large dining room table when you came in. Ransom guided you over to the two empty chairs in the middle of one side and pulled yours out for you before seating himself. The catering staff moved around the table setting down plates and pouring wine for everyone. But when the server got to you, they moved past you without pouring anything. In case you were pregnant. Of course. That was fine. You just hoped no one else noticed.

“I’m sorry,” Ransom said from beside you and your stomach dropped. “Is there a reason my wife isn’t being served wine tonight?”

“Ransom,” you whispered, still hoping everyone would just ignore it, but it was too late.

From the other side of the table, Walt piped up liked he’d just been waiting for an opportunity. “Maybe the staff got confused and didn’t realize she’s old enough to drink.” His eyes sparkled and he grinned, proud of himself, as it took every muscle in your body not to shrink down in your seat.

“Great catch, Walt! You’re right. She is still much younger than me. Like I said before, and I’m sure I’ll have to say again, neither of us chose this. I would’ve thought that’d be a concept you’re familiar with, seeing as how you practically begged Harlan not to make you marry Donna.”

“Ransom!” you admonished quietly. Your eyes cut to the willowy blonde sitting next to Walt, looking like a deer caught in headlights. You had no doubt that he deserved this, but you had no idea if she did.

Ransom’s eyes cut to you. “You’re right,” he said, before looking back at his aunt and uncle. “I should be nicer to Donna. I’m sure being married to Walt is punishment enough.”

“You little shit!” Walt responded. “I’ll have you know my wife is very happy. Which I’m sure is more than you can say for yours! What’s it been, a month? Two? And she already looks completely miserable.”

You felt all eyes turn to you again and you weren’t sure you’d ever felt more self-conscious in your life. Your entire body was on fire. You didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t say anything, so you picked up your fork and took a bite of the fish you’d just been served. It didn’t taste like anything.

From your left, Joanie spoke up. “Hey, those first few months of marriage are hard. But so rewarding. I know when Neal and I were first married–”

“Yes, Joanie,” Linda cut in, dryly. “My brother was a saint and we all miss him very much.” She turned back to her son. “There’s no need to get upset, Ransom. We just didn’t want to accidentally serve a pregnant woman alcohol. Better safe than sorry.” She picked up her own fork to begin eating. “Speaking of, if the two of you have an announcement to make, now’d be the perfect time.”

You couldn’t stop your grimace. Ransom stiffened next to you, then answered, “No. No announcement.”

“It’ll come,” Harlan finally joined in from his place at the head of the table. “There’s still plenty of time.”

From the other end of the table, a teenage boy you’d never even met before said, “Maybe not. Maybe she’s barren.” And you felt all the wind go out of you.

“Oh fuck off, you little incel shit!” Ransom shouted.

“She isn’t barren, Jacob,” Linda said, calmly. “We have all her medical records to confirm she’s perfectly fertile.”

You could’ve sworn you blacked out at the moment. You’d known, on some level, that if there was a clause in the contract, it’d come with some sort of confirmation that, at least on your side, it was even possible. But to know that they had your medical records and now were discussing them like you weren’t even here, like you just didn’t matter… You hoped the earth might open up and swallow you whole.

You felt a gentle hand land on your knee but it didn’t really register. Nothing did. You didn’t know where the conversation went from there. You couldn’t hear anything above the ringing in your ears. It was all you could do to keep breathing. But you knew they all kept sniping at each other. And you felt the anger radiating off of Ransom the entire time.

The clinking of plates and scraping of chairs finally got you out of your stupor as the family got out of their chairs and staff started clearing the dishes. You looked over at Ransom, for help or support maybe, you didn’t really know. But he also looked like he’d gone somewhere else. He could barely meet your gaze.

You were still numb as people made their way back to the original sitting room. You just needed to make it through the rest of the evening. You could do that. Just as you had gotten to the other room, Harlan stopped Ransom with a hand on his shoulder. “I’d like a word in private with you, my boy.”

Ransom looked at you for a moment, then sighed and said softly, “I’ll be right back,” before following his grandfather deeper into the house.

And then you were alone. You were at a loss as to what to do with yourself, so you went back into the sitting room and settled on a vacant couch. Not everyone had migrated there. There were only a few people in the room now. Jacob sat in the corner, hunched over his phone, but every once in a while he would look up, catch your eye, and smirk at you. It had you sliding further back in your seat. His mother was no help. Donna was slumped over in an armchair, still cradling half a glass of wine. Meg had already shrugged on her coat, giving a hurried wave as she moved through the room. And Richard–

Richard sat down next to you. You slid down the couch as subtly as you could. “You know,” he said, “I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to you at the wedding.”

Alarm bells went off through your whole body. You saw Ransom’s face again, from earlier. How angry, yes, but more than that ashamed and unsurprised. How he’d looked at you. How he’d asked if you were ok. How it’d felt urgent. “It was a busy day,” you gritted out, trying to think of any way to get yourself out of this room.

“Ransom is a very lucky man,” he said, inching closer, his arm draped over the back of the couch, “to have such a beautiful bride.”

“Thank you,” you chuckled uncomfortably. “That’s very sweet.” You looked around helplessly. As he opened his mouth to say something else, you stood up. “I’m going to go get myself some water. Do you need anything?” you asked, but didn’t give him a chance to answer. “No? Ok, I’ll be right back.” And then you fled.

You hurried down the hall toward the kitchen but slowed when you heard voices. You picked out Joanie first, then Linda. You slowed to a stop right outside the kitchen door, trying to weigh just how much you wanted that water. Was it worth facing them? Were they any better than Richard?

“Okay,” Joanie said, “but what do you really think about her?” Your stomach dropped. You tried to reassure yourself that they could be talking about anything, anyone. You pressed closer to the door as quietly as you could.

“I think,” Linda said, then paused while you heard the clink of glassware, “that she will serve her purpose just fine.”

Joanie laughed. “I just have a hard time picturing Ransom with such a mouse.” You closed your eyes. You should go right now. Nothing they had to say would be of any help to you. But, despite your best interests, you were rooted to the spot.

“She definitely wasn’t chosen for her personality, but Ransom understands how good this will be for the whole family. How important it is”

“Oh, of course,” Joanie simpered, and you just hated both of these women so much at that moment, maybe more than you’d ever hated anyone. “I just feel so bad for him. He must be so bored.”

“Listen, I told him that he just needs to get her pregnant, and then he can do whatever he needs to do. Once he has an heir. As long as he’s discreet, of course.”

Joanie cackled. “You didn’t! Oh, you’re so bad!”

“He might already be behind on that one, anyway,” Linda said, and you could practically hear her smirk. But you didn’t know what she could possibly be talking about. She didn’t know you and there was no one– unless. Oh god.

“Well.” Linda continued. “You know, she and her step-brother are very close, if you know what I mean.”

“Really?” Joanie asked, fucking eagerly.

“Mhmm,” Linda hummed. “Did you not see them at the wedding? They were practically hanging all over each other. He had to be kicked out of her dressing room.”

“No! Does Ransom know?”

“Well, I haven’t told him yet. You know how he gets. I’m waiting for the right time.”

“You know what they call that on the internet, don’t you?”

Linda sighed. “You know that I don’t, Joanie.”

“Stepcest!” Joanie said gleefully.

And that was it. That was all you could do. This fucking family. How– Why? You’d never done anything. You hadn’t even chosen to be here! And they still took so much joy in cutting you down. And if Linda managed to get to Ransom and tell him… Who knows what he’d do?

You moved as quietly as you could back down the hall, swiping at the tears beginning to gather in your eyes, hoping not to call any attention to yourself, when shouts suddenly erupted from the other side of the house. As soon as you recognized one of the raised voices as Ransom’s, you began to hurry in that direction.

You hadn’t made it very far before he came barreling out in your direction. “Get your coat,” he growled. “We’re leaving.”

You didn’t argue, more than ready to get out of there yourself. You followed him to the closet, and then once you both had your coats, out the door. The crisp night air was bracing after feeling suffocated in that house for hours. Neither of you said anything as you got into Ransom’s car.

It wasn’t until you were fully off Harlan’s property that you felt brave enough to ask, “Is everything alright?”

He glanced at you before returning his eyes to the road and letting out a humorless chuckle. “Sure,” he said.

“What– What did he want to talk to you about?”

“Just his same old bullshit,” he scoffed.

“I–” you had no idea what to say. “Is it always like that?” You felt foolish as soon as you asked. Of course, it was. You could tell.

“Oh, no,” he said, and his tone was so cold, so detached, that you couldn’t help but stare. This felt like a brand new Ransom. “Sometimes it’s really bad.”

You didn’t say anything to that. You had no idea what to do with this sudden urge to comfort him, this man who had so much power over you, this man you couldn’t even say you liked most days. Especially after what you’d just been through. So you kept your hands in your lap and stared out the window.

After a few minutes of silence, he surprised you by being the one to break it. “So. I bet your family looks like the fucking Waltons compared to that.”

You thought of dinner with your own family. Joseph crowing loudly about his successes. Your mother cowering the moment any small thing went wrong. Steve getting into screaming matches with his father. You feeling invisible, on a good day. “No,” you said, hollowly. “Not really.” He turned his head sharply to look at you and you held his gaze for just a moment before he had to look back at the road. There was one large difference though. You’d always had Steve. As far as you could tell, Ransom didn’t have anyone.

That thought led you back to what you’d heard right before you’d left and your anxiety returned. “Steve and I–” you blurted out. “He’s my brother.”

Ransom’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Uh, yeah, I am aware of that.”

You shook your head. “No, I just– I know we aren’t related biologically, but– Nothing’s ever happened between us. Not ever. He’s my brother.”

“What the fuck?!” he called out as he made a left turn more sharply than necessary. “Why would you–” he cut himself off. “Did someone say something to you?”

You ignored his question. “I just–” you said, “I just wanted you to hear it from me.”

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. Neither of you said anything else for the rest of the drive.

When you got back to his house, Ransom went straight upstairs while you let Lola out one last time before bed. When you joined him in the bedroom once that was done, he was already in bed. “Listen,” he said softly, “I know you’re probably even more anxious about this whole thing after– I just, I’m really fucking tired. Is it ok if we don’t– If we just go to bed?”

You nodded, relief flooding through you. You were just as tired and didn’t think you could deal with all that after everything else that had happened that day. You quickly went through your nighttime routine in the bathroom. When you came back out once you’d finished, you found Ransom still awake, lying on his back staring at the ceiling. Lola was curled up at his side and he absently scratched her belly. You climbed into bed and turned the lamp off, turning onto your side. You felt him move behind you, scooting closer, not enough that you were touching at all, but you could feel his body heat. It was oddly soothing. You closed your eyes and hoped sleep would come fast, ready for this day to be over.

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perfectfangirl · 3 days

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notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep6

• this episode begins with cooper doing some masterful propaganda commercial work for vault tec • it's shown in black and white, cooper looks smooth and suave in a 50s way, he's smoking a cigarette and it's giving rod serling, he's in a suit and tie as he strolls the halls of vault 4 [the very vault lucy and maximus ended up at in the last episode] • so vault 4 has three foot thick lead casings, at least the vaults are annihilation proof • "strong enough to keep out the rads and the reds" cannot wait to see what kind of mind laundering barb did to cooper to persuade him to do content like this because • whew ok so i am going to make an attempt to explain the music choice here for the scene [because by looking it up, it feels like a choice made with express purpose]

• the instrumental playing here is titled "improvisation of "tchaikovsky's pathetique (andante)" by django reinhart. ok so what is tchaikovsky's "pathetique symphony"? well it's tchaikovsky's last symphony before his passing. what this got to do with anything? well it wasn't clear what this symphony meant [he never truly explained and he died suddenly] but some motifs with it that fans and studiers have explored something called tchaikovsky's "cross motif", parts of his own songs that he associated with the crucifixion, himself, and tristan [of tristan and isolde]. this motif is about star crossed lovers, y'all. i'll let y'all connect tour dots of your choosing for that one • pieces of this specific tchaikovsky symphony also have motifs of [catholic] requiems, some specialists in his work say this song deals with the power of fate in life and death--- all on wikipedia, there's so much more overtones just for this song and it's actually incredible in relation to this episode, i did not expect this

• cooper in the ad from two hundred years ago passing down the hallway with unit 428, the same exact street and unit lucy and maximus end up at • "meet the hawthornes" wait like the hawthorne institute right • "now this isn't just your average all american family, no lloyd and cassandra here are both scientists" and it's table of nothing but poc ✨ • when i first saw this ad filming scene, i thought they read their lines kinda funny but it really was because they were scientists and not actors lol • "wait a second, did you say "living down here?" well there hasn't been a nuclear incident, has there?" spine chilling--- played as a joke, in a commercial, the seriousness and direness being dismissed by vault tex • cooper doing a good ass take then giving that thumbs up [and to those actual ghouls in suits behind the vault windows looking in at the commercial set] • cooper thanking the scientists and kid actos for coming to do the scene 🥲 • you can tell cooper use to be background and stunt work because has so little ego and pomp when they yell "cut". he thanks the other performers, they're equals in his eyes

• cooper coming for bud's neck first meeting upon hearing that this mf is from west tek, love seeing him be mean to this guy • bud overseeing the rollout of the t45 power armour and talking about how bad the design flaws were without a hint of remorse for how many lives were lost to such a poorly produced piece of technology. "they looked great", if cooper would've punched him right then and there, i would've cheered • "product management was never my bag" what this mean for vault 31? • this conversation was crazy for two reasons, first, cooper is doing that thing again where someone is having a conversation with him but that man is not fucking listening--- barb is in the room and nobody and nothing else matters, he's done this like three times in the show and second, bud is talking to cooper like he's trying to pitch a product, all his conversations with cooper felt like that but the sinister thing about it is • "because what is the ultimate weapon to destroy your competition? it's not outselling them. it's not outsmarting them. it's time. time is the ultimate weapon." and we're told the entire thing, the play's the thing • time being the ultimate weapon means so much for this universe • "... when we almost lost the great state of alaska to the reds" you think they'll show the battle of anchorage or cooper fighting before the bombs fell? • bud is so devious. it's so satirical to me that i find him to be one of the most repulsive characters in this show. and they showed people eating people in this thing. and what do you know? he's like a manager or something. in the hr department. he might as well be as evil as mr. house lmao • i wonder if in the last two hundred years has cooper reflected on this conversation, it was abrupt but dull, almost like a business meeting, devoid of any long term meaning, one of the many inane conversations he's had with suits and yet... bud is telling cooper the exact vault 31 plans, a villain • cooper "i ain't reading all that. i'm happy for you though. or sorry that happened" bud's conversation to go be a wife guy with barb • the whole time, cooper and barb have been eying each other

• listen--- the way cooper slides right behind barb's back and starts kissing her shoulder, in front of like everybody, to the point of a staff barb was talking to leaves, i want to scream inside a pillow • you know? seeing cooper this type of romance and passion in the same episode he sews on that finger, i--- • "i'm at work." and cooper do not care, barb! y'all the only people in the room, baby. according to cooper--- "oh, how 'bout we clock out" he wants her so bad, i'm sick • "but what do you say you and me knock back a couple of pina coladas by the pool, listen to hifi..." the smile once present on barb's face slowly slides off as cooper says this. [cooper is such an introvert, swear] cooper just wanted to get out of there, be at home with his wifey ☹️

• going to be honest here and i say i don't like her throwing a party at their house without checking with or even telling cooper, it's kind of a pretty big red flag for her behaviour on out and i wonder if this is around the time she starts making the decisions that would lead to her and cooper's divorce • no a wrap party for an ad is crazy, vault tec was so in her pockets 😭 • lmao ok but when he thought the wrap party was elsewhere, the way he was like "ok so we go there for a little minute and talk then leave" like it was a game plan, he wanted to be home so bad lmaooo • "the things i'm willing to do for you never cease to amaze me" he would've gone to the ends of the earth for her, i think • i wonder, like the conversation with bud prior, does he reflect on this sentiment towards her. he kinda did and went along with whatever she said. until he couldn't • cooper and barb's house is beautiful btw • little easter egg is the paper cooper is reading at the wrap party in his bedroom says "nuka cola walks back new nuka" referencing coke's new coke fiasco 🤭 • cooper is looking at the vault tec ad of him for the vaults in the newspaper and i bet he's asking himself what he's doing • i don't like the parallel of cooper telling roosevelt he can't come down to the party to barb telling cooper dogs can't come into the vaults 😭 • "i'm heading into enemy territory" cooper is such an introvert 😞 but i also am curious if he's referring to the suits, the corporation and has always not liked this type of ideology and crowds anyways • didn't notice the second paper on the bedroom bench, it says "reds losing territory! troops deployed to far east" so things are clearly escalating [and apparently in the us' favour] • black is walton goggins' colour btw • this scene where cooper walks onto the stairs in front of his own movie poster for "a man and his dog" is one of my favourite scenes because like--- he oozes confidence, coolness, a man. it's a grand entrance, he's a star • this scene where cooper walks onto the stairs in front of his own movie poster for "a man and his dog" is one of my favourite scenes because like--- he oozes confidence, coolness, a man. it's a grand entrance, he's a star • "yeah, i love that one, too. it was my real dog." cooper says with such pride and warmth. it's one of the sweetest scenes in this whole show 🥲 • i really like this scene because fuck i don't love a big ass party at a big ass house • tbh cooper is smoking and drinking to take the edge off because barb really sprung this shit on him • cooper passes by some suits discussing what i can only assume is power armour but looking closely, it's a little weird. what do they mean "negotiations in anchorage are having a serious impact on presales."? are they fucking talking about peace negotiations, ceasefire? "we'll have to circle up with d.c. about that" nah wait what the hell that mean? what the fuck they talkin' bout??

• cooper is thrilled barb invited that freak bud askins to that house party lmao • ay lmaooo sebastian doing the codsworth impression for the pretty servers at cooper and barb's house party and him taking that as interest from them in him and him asking if when after their shift if they wanted to party in the hot tub and them telling him no 😭 • "you might be the only one of my invites who actually showed up" two things--- this makes my statement about cooper only really getting to hear the voice of sebastian in the mr. handy post war even sadder but this also suggests he's losing friends now because of this • this by me meaning vault tec and the whole vault system [and experiments]. i did not catch his career was already being effected by this. he was really willing to risk it all and well... for barb • "i think our hollywood actor friends don't want to be seen celebrating with the pitchman for the end of the world" you don't know the half of it. you hear i lost a movie over these ads? yeah, i showed up to set, the actors wouldn't come out of their trailers. bonnie lewis said it was on moral grounds." no but ok the fact that cooper was already being boycotted by his peers for this. he's already compromising his principles but it's still so inline with his principles. cooper can't yet see they're compromising his principles oof • he got boycotted by his peers then blacklisted by that corporation, oh this would be my villain origin story too--- did anybody who wasn't janey have cooper's back after the divorce? like • wonder what the actors thought about "the man from deadhorse"? • "... radicalism is sweeping through hollywood like a bad case of the clap." lmao jesus • "even got your friend, charlie whiteknife." "are you kidding me? charlie? i served with that guy." and his third eye has simply opened, blackballing machine go crazy in the "fallout" world • "but you my friend, you know which way the wild ins blowing. and it's that--- a world run by people who wear pocket protectors to a pool party." they also show someone with a pip boy. sebastian wasn't actually even joking • here's where the show gets so on the nose, why it might as well be a tissue--- sebastian admits he sold his vocal rights for mr. handy. cooper and sebastian discuss how much sebastian got paid for that. cooper says 10 million. sebastian is taken aback and says 186 pre tax. i'm not good with math so on first watch i assumed 186,000. which is the lowest ball for this. come to find out the wiki says this is the case. cooper asks if he could've asked for more. and sebastian basically implies all his agent could get him was his own mr. handy robot. bonkers. • "i thought the studio owned that character?" "they did. and then robco bought the studio." it's really hard to conceptualize in this episode but this is a fine indictment on the sinister underpinnings of capitalistic evil in this series • sebastian then goes on to say something very prescient. "hollywood is in the past. forget hollywood. the future, my friend, is products. you're a product. i'm a product. the end of the world is a product." i don't know about y'all but i think this is one of the scariest and most bone chilling things said and presented in this show. and this is a show with deathclaws and cannibals. my question is... does amazon know they're talking about them? they're about you too, honey • the fact this show is set in the post apocalyptic wasteland but still intrigues us with dystopian, late stage capitalistic doom both horrifies and fascinates me

• anyhow! the scenes ends and then segues into cooper lying down on the super duper mart floor. having somehow survived the chem binge of the century. i bet he was knocked out for twenty hours • the mr. handy repeating the exact line sebastian did in the scene before ☹️ • every time cooper open his mouth, i almost have tears in my eyes because why when the president [sorrel's] sheriff henchmen walked in on him to survey the situation and cooper says "now y'all here for the ice cream social, i'm afraid i got some bad news for you" lmao why the fuck he be talkin' to people like this, it ki lls me • could not immediately find anything about using teeth as bullets so for fallout i absolutely think it's mad to do lmao "using teeth for ammunition. always finding new ways to kill each other up there, aren't they?" ain't never lied • at first, i thought them asking lucy and maximus to stay for a few days was weird and that they were evil but as the next episode shows, they genuinely wanted to show hospitality 😭 • which makes maximus coming in thinking he's saving lucy with the power suit all the more hilarious and awful dkgdkfgdk • "you had a rotten human tooth lodged in your shoulder" it would take me weeks to go back outside lmao • maximus never experiencing a vault [i.e. real] doctor before • vault 4 got surface foragers

• don't blame lucy one bit for enjoying being in a vault again, the surface is a goddamn shitshow • birdie essentially being a survivor of shady sands, like maximus. so it makes this even more wild as hank's daughter, lucy, would to that vault [and shake things up and throw acid in a guy's face fldgldg] • birdie saying the shady sands blast was so big, they could feel it a three day's walk away. not good at math and cars are in the pasty so roughtly i'd say that's about or a little over a hundred miles away. that's diabolical hank could do that again after experiencing that for the first time on a larger scale before • lucy hearing about the devastation of shady sands. not a single clue it was her own father, oof--- • while in quarantine [as to not make the rest of the vault sick or precaution] lucy is staring at and flexing her hand with the new grey finger on it. wonder what's going through her head there

• maximus to lucy "you smell good" me: "huh?? the fuck he talkin' bout? 😭 • lucy looks down, just as fuckign confused as me. and then it dawned on here. he's a man • lucy is so casual, i love that in this vault 33 or like society or whatever that she hasn't been shamed with purity politics because she asks maximus if he wanted to have sex [vaultknight, this one's for you] • i feel like the very next thing maximus says after this made lucy reconsider the offer because why this man say "you mean use my cock?" man her eyes 😭 why he say thisss • the face maximus makes when lucy asks though, rental free ksfkdg • maximus calling getting an erection "that weird thing could happen" and ejaculation "it gets all big and hard like a big pimple and then it pops" has got to be one of maximus' hands down funniest and most disgusting lines in the show like what you mean pimpleee like what is the brotherhood of steel teaching these guys 😭 • lucy... is so sweet and sensitive, she doesn't laugh or get second hand embarrassment, she simply explains it's all natural and normal bodily phenomena--- remember she's a teacher 🥲

• on one hand yes i think he came back down from the cloud and remembered he's a knight and they take vows [lore doesn't seem to say of celibacy but i think show depiction of the brotherhood of steel might] • but on the other, i think he realises he might be out of his depth and inexperienced for someone like lucy anyways atm so he bows out [hilarious he does ask again later after a shower and some food though 😭] • lucy says her signature "okie dokey", lays out on the gurney and waits out the rest of the quarantine, maximus barely containing himself as he stares at lucy • a cute and downright hysterical scene but isn't it so 🤭 that maximus' pick up line was to tell lucy she smelled good? idk i just think it's oddly sweet • crazy how this scene is basically him rejecting her offer whew

• something about the way fallout weaves false narratives as an unreliable narrator--- i'd sure like a video essay on this because they do it with lucy's memories, they od it with moldaver's storyline, they do it with vault 4. i could name some more put i really enjoy this kind of twist, our presumptions and suppositions do not always service us in this narrative and what is expected often is not what is received • the song that played in this scene sounded so familiar to me so i looked it up and it's "theme from a summer place" by percy faith. "summer place" is a film. you know what the film is about? teenage lovers who broke it off but they reunite years later and find out the children from their individual marriages are they themselves teenage lovers. it's hard for me to articulate but something about this premise will come up again or be relative to the story, just something about this song choice feels important • the quarantine facility is labelled "test subjects" [but it's a red herring gldflgdl] • is lucy eating sugar bombs in the picnic table breakfast scene? • also--- ms. lucy getting that hair done and then it look good for all the rest of the episodes until the finale • you know in this scene, both lucy and maximus are not entirely wrong despite opposing views on vault 4--- maximus thinks the residents are trying to trap them [they aren't] "this is a cult. same as any." [lmao correct] "titus, this is a safe place, where people take care of each other." [correct, also forgot maximus is still donning the ruse here] • lucy and maximus are both in cults but only one of them recognizes a cult when they see it 😭 • maximus asking why? the vault is a safe place where people take care of each other ☹️ • lucy touching maximus hand. then attempting to feed him 😭 • i said this a few episodes back about maximus and thaddeus in the deception reveal scene they had and [besides dane's relationship with maximus] that situation was probably the closest either of them had to friendship. i am saying the same thing again for maximus but this time with lucy.

• maximus and lucy discriminating against this one eyed overseer like that upon meeting him 😭 • the music cue is so startling like please, just a one eye guy 😭 • i think if the overseer would explain why people shouldn't go to level 12, they wouldn't? maybe he operates on the assumption people know vault 4's experiment but i think talking about it would've avoided the situation it caused in this episode tbh • lucy starts discriminating again and observes people exhibiting unusual bodily abnormalities and/or differences. if you think about it, it's kinda fucked up how they act in this vault when a lot of them are surface dwelling shady sands survivors or vault experiment survivors hell or both 😭 • "lots of people have one eye" and lucy saw a two headed cow, what's her deal suddenly lgdgldl • i think it felt "normal" to see a brahmin because the wasteland is tainted, poisoned, unsafe. having that in a vault and appearing in people form is messing with her idealism and programming again. seeing such "imperfection" in vault dwellers is leading her to question the people and not the circumstances. everyone in vaults 31, 32, 33 are bred to perfection. she's seeing nonstandard humans and thinking something's wrong. when the truth is vault tec was conducting much more sinister experiments someone with one eye. the one thing she thought was "normal" shattered again

• somewhere in the wasteland, cooper is being lead by force by these fake sheriffs, the scene transitions to cooper and barb chilling in the hot tub • ok so the song in both scenes is "lonely hours" by gene armstrong, it's fairly clear what this song expresses but i know of wonder for whom • "doesn't get any better than this" you damn right, barb! cooper howard is fine as fuck, there i said it • somebody on here found the exact vintage martini glasses they used for this scene btw • cooper is at the peak of luxury and fulfillment but then asks barb "you ever... think about working somewhere else?" has barb always worked at vault tec? if i finf out their entire relationship was a conspiracy, i will cry myself to sleep • barb says she use to but with cooper doing vault tec ads now, it's like the family business. haha. what

• janey and roosevelt in the same scene ☹️ • "i think about it. quitting showbiz. buying us a ranch up in bakersfield. get back to being a real cowboy again." once more with that introvert bit inside of cooper. wonder which thing inspired him telling her this. you know what's crazy? that in a twisted, cursed way, cooper really did get back to being a "real cowboy" again after the war in the wasteland. i feel so incredibly sad for cooper. he really was just some cowhand who fell into acting • barb asking what she would do and cooper telling her raise chickens 😭 not @ the chicken scene in the first episode! cooper wanted to raise chickens 😭 • barb asking cooper what's gotten into him and this man says "a gin martini" ooo i love everything he ever says like

• the conversation was light but cooper goes on to confess "maybe i've been reading too much news lately. got me second guessing the whole city life." cooper is really and truly questioning his involvement in this vault tc shit and himself • this is the closest walton gets to abs in the series as aaron and ella both have their skin time, can definitely see that tight chest under all that water tho bless • barb has gotten out of the hot tub and starts fiddling with the pip boy, cooper sexily glares at her about it • cooper seems surprised she has one "bud askins... he licensed them from robco. we're integrating them with the vault tec admission systems." barb informs. here go this bud askins mf again • cooper is quite literally gritting his teeth hearing that man's name •"trust me, i know. the company's filled with guys like him. but vault tec exists with or without me." this goes for like any business but it's something about how telling of her individual motives are about this

• didn't realize barb told cooper "doesn't do anyone any good to complain from the sidelines." this is so funnily passive aggressive of her idk. because all cooper was trying to do was attempt to understand why she would put up with all this stuff and she just gets defensive--- he wasn't even demanding she do anything, he just doesn't get being around all these soulless corporate people • "all i'm saying is we have this one life. do you really want to spend your nine to five working with these assholes?" this statement might have basically caused a fight [also, it personally victimizes me because cooper has essentially lived five lifetimes after the bombs fell] • barb exasperatedly says "i need this job, coop. it guarantees us a spot in the vaults." cooper thinks they can just buy a spot in the vaults. then barb says "one of the good vaults." "what's that supposed to mean?" and i'm still with cooper, what the hell does this mean, barb? • i would've questioned my entire marriage after this conversation because

• this implies the entire vault system got something messed up going on with them and that going into a vault was inevitable, spooky • not at one of "the good ones" being vault 4 after the residents successfully were able to take it over and flourish 🥲 • "just.. trust me. please." in some ways, i wonder could she still have been trusted? i have a love/hate relationship with barb, i understand her motivations but not the implementation • anyways, barb was so pretty in this scene, like an evil barbie doll • on the tv in the bar cooper is in, the anchor says "as all nations race to secure uranium and control the future of energy, a shortage has emerged, turning even allies into potential competitors" remember how this entire first season is about different factions fighting over harnessing cold fusion? because i do

• starting to theorize nobody trusted each other and everybody dropped their bombs • ok so, i do not know why cooper met up with charlie whiteknife but i like it lol • seems cooper isn't afraid to be seen talking to charlie though, kinda ballsy • cooper reveals his disbelief at charlie apparently attending communist meetings. maybe he met up with him because he was a close friend and comrade • "we watched people die together up north fighting against all that horseshit." it's not like the hugest plot point or super prominent in flashbacks of his life but cooper is an [ex] military man. and this means i kinda forgot he's basically already [implied] to have killed people. [obviously for a cause but kill nonetheless]. he's been fighting and killing technically for over two hundred years. he's a veteran. that extra layer to his character when you rewatch the bait scene and his speech about torture and his confinement of being buried in a coffin by dom pedro to be dug up every year got a whole new meaning too

• charlie then says "yeah and for what?" cooper next "what do you mean, for what? for the american dream. we're actors. we make movies, charlie." "yeah the american dream has me getting shot in the ass by you all day." don't even know if i have enough space to cover what i think of this conversation--- i mean the topics range from the treatment of veterans when they come back home to the conditions and typecasting minority actors have faced in hollywood • cooper replies "you got five acres in tarzana. i think you're doing alright" cooper has some ignorance here but i digress. charlie tells him don't none of that matter, that vault tec is evil • cooper interjects "my wife works there. you really think barb's the devil?" you know this scene and line hurts like hell for several reasons, chief amongst them being that by calling vault tec evil, cooper takes this to mean barb is evil. walton has gone on record to say after spying revealed her true nature, cooper thinks she's the devil incarnate ☹️ that yeah, i guess barb is evil, that cooper thinks she is too and that cooper probably remembers this conversation. coope probably thinks of how naive and foolish he was to defend her or think highly of her in the first place 😞 • charlie sound like a conspiracy theorist but he told not a single lie. "do you know what "fiduciary responsibility" means?" cooper, ever our cowboy himbo responds "no, i have no fucking idea. i play a cowboy for a living" "ok, so the government has outsourced the survival of the human race to vault tec. vault tec is a private corporation that has a fiduciary responsibility to make money for its investors. and how does it make money? by selling vaults. but they can't sell vaults if the peace negotiations go through. so vault tec has a fiduciary responsibility to make sure that it don't work out.". cooper asks how they could do that and charlie simply reveals he doesn't know • ain't seen nobody talk about this but charlie starts explaining what vault tec is doing to cooper like cooper asked him "explain it to me like i'm a cowboy" 😭 • "you remember that movie we did with johnny morton? you were the sheriff and i was some generic indian?" "cooper, thoughtfully i suppose says "come on, man. don't say that. tallhand mudlake could talk to horses. you played him with grace and with dignity." i don't know but cooper really is a down to earth, sweet guy. and that's why maybe he met up with charlie, they seem fairly close • can i say how refreshing it is to see a show like this be so meta in different ways, having the indigenous character be the one to essentially be the canary in the coal mine about a company trying to bring about the ruin of the united states. i got chills. • "vault tec is a trillion dollar company that owns half of everything" sound familiar? • "i guess everything's a conspiracy, right? come on, man, you sound like you're in a cult" "and you're sitting here defending a system that's ready to set the world on fire, cooper. maybe you're the one in a cult." cooper has no rebuttal for this

• cooper questions his cog in all this again. that statement really had him silent. he had nothing to say for himself. if i thought he was having second thoughts about his involvement with vault tec before, this scene sure solidifies it now • charlie offers him a card of where to meet. at the hollywood forever cemetery [a real place!] then relays "you should learn the truth about where your wife works. for her sake." • the talk about cults in this episode is so ironic • the call cooper denies which was for barb was from hank, only knew this time because i read it, didn't even pick up on it • in the dinner scene [where cooper and barb have a pretty decent fight] there's a couple things about it but one of them i wanted to do was colour analysis. like i mentioned before, i saw a post on it and for various scenes, but for this scene in particular, i too find it curious barb is no longer in her red tone outfits. quite literally every outfit hers up until now has been peachy, pinks ,reds, earth tones, skin tones. but here. in this scene she's blue. a completely different tone and colour. cooper is wearing blue and yellow again [these are basically his signature colours] but barb in blue? very different for her

• not only is barb in blue but she also has on a pip boy. she even starts talking and acting different hence the fight • as an aside, janey reading "little house on the prairie" [a book about a young girl's life in the old west] to roosevelt is very cute • cooper thinks it's cute janey is reading to roosevelt so he goes "ah, does he like it?" with the cutest smile. mans loves his dog 🥲 • barbs lets out a sign and cooper asks her what is it. "it's going to be hard on her. that's all." "what is?" "you know, no dogs in the vaults." cooper stops mid chew. what the hell is barb talking about? • cooper's whole demeanor changes, he's not even chewing his food the same, he goes for a swig of wine but not before asking "says who?" • "no dogs is the vault says who?" "well... there's just. the um... that's the policy." dogs eating meat is an "unavoidable inefficiency". cooper is rightfully unsatisfied with this answer. "that's not really the question, is it? all i'm asking is who decided that there were no dogs in the vault?"

• barb decides to take offense again to cooper's probing of the machinations that be at this company. "well, i think that is a relatively trivial concern given the prerequisite conditions of living in a nuclear fallout shelter" it's something so disturbing about this conversation. and i believe this is predicated exclusively on the notion of displaying vault tec's lake of compassion and humanity. also, is this not a brainwashed barb? who is this woman and what have they done with barb? • cooper simply asks: who makes the rules? and that "no dogs allowed" must be new because it sounds like some shit that didn't get ran by anybody 😭 • "i mean, what else do you have in store for us? are the blue jumpsuits, are those mandatory? what i don't want to wear a blue jumpsuit? what if i want to wear a green one?" lol • barb is like "so the bomb falls and you want to know about your wardrobe?" "no, i want to know about my freedom." i want her to be serious • cooper explains to her that he didn't go to war defending that freedom so that he could live in a cellar under the boot of upper management. i really feel like barb is failing to consider what she is asking of cooper. roosevelt isn't a house plant or a car. roosevelt is cooper's dog. a dog he loved and so much, it was in one of his films. how is cooper inquiring about the policy implementation trivial at all? she's just awfully cruel to me about flippant here and the secrets she's keeping from cooper were already causing their marriage problems • i do not like barb's retort being like, a lecture to cooper about how sad and worried she was waiting for him to return from war. and he immediately yields to her statements--- like is sorry for making her worry about him. when was the one out in the field both watching people die and probably also killing some too. all for wildly misguided people like her. her experience is just not comparable to his so i just hate the way barb is in this scene. she's changed • "so, you do not need to tell me how bad war is, coop." i'm sorry, but what the fuck would she know? lmao

• when barb says "everyday i go into work and think about how humanity can survive a nuclear event that will wipe out 90% of life on earth and i come home and you're talking about hiding out at a ranch up in baskersfield" whoa whoa whoa--- where is this coming from? obviously i don't know the day to day conversations these two have but it's like she's minimizing his desire to step away from hollywood and then frame it into some kind of fantasy she thinks he was having. there's nothing wrong with his desire to do that and her making it seem like it was stupid and unreasonable don't sit right with me either because • barb says "you know, i don't even know what planet you're on sometimes, coop" and it's like? planet earth. why is she talking to him as if he's not a veteran or spokesperson for nuclear fallout shelters? why is she also talking to him like he go to work with her everyday? how could she imply a veteran has his head essentially in the sand?

• barb continues her harangue "and no, none of it is ideal. but if billions of people are going to lose their lives, i will do whatever it takes to make sure the people i love, that is you and that is janey, aren't among them. i have worked hard to make sure we go into a special vault for management, where we will oversee all of the other vaults. you don't get it. this is the best we can possibly hope for. for janey." well. barb's speech is a whole revelation. an unsettling and terrifying one. why, she almost sounds as if she's in a [doomsday] cult. why in the hell is barb talking like she knows the bombs will drop? also, how spooky is her saying she'll do whatever it takes to make sure the people she loves don't get blasted and i just. to what lengths will barb go through to do that? • cooper's face this whole time is a mix between a hurt puppy dog and a man questioning who he married, his principles, and the world around him • how insane is the best someone like barb can hope for in a vault is a management vault [vault 31]. how disturbing that vault tec ran so many experiments, "good" vaults were few • barb appears to have lost her appetite by now so she gets up. ever the sweetheart, cooper gets up to apologize to barb for their fight. and what he says next is so soul crushing and also ironic. • "i know you always try to do the right thing. that's what i love about you." oh, they're breaking my heart • love that the next scene is overseer benjamin explaining how a toilet works to lucy gdgkdfkd • overseer benjamin somehow for whatever reason thinking lucy's name is "goosey" maclean, is not an accident ☝️ they know that sounds like a certain other word associated when two characters in this show 💀 • lmao can someone explain why overseer benjamin put on bifocals to read a paper when he only got one eyes • overseen benjamin is a fifth generation vault dweller and lucy [being prejudice again 😭] is surprised to learn this. she almost tells him she thinks this because of his eyes but doesn't 😭 • fucking hysterical when lucy realises this one eyed overseer is prejudice himself against wastelanders when it's like? you think like him and also don't think vault dwellers look like him either 😭 • lmao why overseer benjamin got moldy drinks on his desk?

• overseer benjamin says he's open minded but then complains about the wastelanders smelly food and weird ideas. lucy asks him why he keeps accepting wastelanders if he himself doesn't even like them. then he reveals it's a vault policy lol • overseer benjamin is weird and not at all because he has one eyes [he's a bit of an insensitive jerk] 😭 • i don't get why overseer benjamin just didn't tell her in simple terms what level 12 is, being aggressive to lucy about it made her want to investigate it • lucy being told to skedaddle 🤭 • watching the scene where birdie comes across maximus trying to steal vault 4's fusion core is so different on second watch when you realize birdie was being nothing but truthful and warm to him • they're playing all the string music cues and everyone is regarded with suspicion but it's literally just maximus discovering comfort, community, and altruism for what feels like the first time 😭 • birdie even wrote him a welcome note in the gift basket 😢 • everything is played so darkly and then the camera pans to a beautiful scene of a waterfall on one of the tvs in his unit. then its a montage of maximus experiencing running water, television, and soap for after so long • we are then treated to a shot of maximus' shirtless torso. i have normal thoughts about this • lmao maximus tastes caviar for the first time in his life then exists his unit in a bathrobe and slippers, walks up to someone in the hallway and asks in the most boyish, innocent voice "excuse me. what is this? 🥺 " • they gave this mf three (3) bottles of champagne. take me to vault 4 like • lucy entering a vault classroom and stops smiling after confronting the magnitude of shady sands as displayed as history in said classroom • if lucy didn't think the ncr [new california republic] was real before, i'm sure seeing the flag in the classroom assured her

• not the place cooper is being dragged to called "the governmint" 😭 • there's wanted posters in this place and what do you know one of them is moldaver and one of them looks like cooper • we have finally arrived at the symbolic finger sewing on hand scene--- i mentioned that in relation to the finger biting off scene, it had a lot of meaning and i was going to wait until cooper did the thing to express it so here goes • i'll go ahead and put this out there now that yes, the argument could be made that cooper was simply attaching a finger as he needed a trigger finger to shoot and that's it. but. we see who cooper is. there's more to it than that and i'm going to explain further • sorrel talks for a minutes "i heard it was a ghoul that fucked up that super duper mart. nobody told me it was the ghoul. you boys know who you just brought in? this sumbitch right here used to be the best bounty hunter to ever shoot a man in the ass." you know the next thing that comes out of cooper's mouth? asking for a needle and thread • firstly, i find it all too interesting after being regaled about his past chaotic neutral exploits, he asks for a needle and thread. why does it feel like he's about to sew on a new lease on life, a new clean slate onto his hand? • secondly... well i have to bring up the string of fate, don't i? lucy may not have cooper's finger [too on the nose] but cooper has hers [just right] and by sewing hers onto his, they are connected forever • i find him directly asking for the needle and thread [to blow these guys away with a firearm] after shrugging off being called the best bounty hunter in the wasteland really somethin' • [because if he would've had his trigger finger back at the super duper mart, i imagine there would be no captivity of cooper] • one of sorrel's dummy henchmen says "sorry, we don't do a lot of kntting 'round here" and cooper hits back "it's called sewing", love he corrected this man lmao idk why • sorrel's first mistake was bringing cooper in there, his second mistake was letting him open his bag, and his third mistake was letting that man sew a trigger finger back onto his hand lmaooo • while the henchmen gets cooper's needle and thread, cooper is fiddling with his trigger fingerless glove, it's so subtle • the finger unfurls from cooper's pack to sorrel's visible disgust whilst cooper asks "do you mind?" to having his bound hands unbound [you can really see walton's hazel eyes in this scene btw] • sorrel scared as hell of this two hundred year old war veteran bounty hunter ghoul, hesitates and naturally. "aw, come on now, sorrel, we old friends, ain't we?" are they? he saw what happened at the super duper mart and he's shaking in his boots lol • sorrel cuts cooper's ropes and then quaintly says "look at you. 200 years. i don't know what keeps you going... or maybe you're still looking for her." cooper has already began sewing on lucy's finger. it is shown in a closeup. however, as soon as sorrel says "her", cooper cuts sorrel a glance. when i first watched this scene, i think i thought he meant moldaver. but i think it's obvious it's janey

• cooper slyly hits back with "well, sorrel... i can confidentially cross one reason off that list for you. i sure as hell ain't still alive so that i can have unintelligent conversations with dipshits like you." one of sorrel's henchmen does not like this back talk and hits cooper in the head with the butt of his gun, knocking cooper's hat off. i see why king knocked his block off • "mind your fucking mouth. that's the president of the government you're talking to" cooper's brow is furrowed but he humourously complies "you a president now?" • and then he says "well then you might want to hire a publicist" do the people even know what that is 😭 • cooper saying conversations with someone like sorrel are "unintelligent" after discussing studies on torture with lucy in the bait scene is so • cooper asks sorrel about moldaver. "they call her the flame mother. now that bitch is dangerous." cooper ironically replies "well, when it comes to leadership these days, dangerous is what they call a prerequisite" cooper really reads it, huh

• as sorrel starts to ask cooper if he knew why he was dragged into his outpost, the camera once again pans to cooper sewing lucy's finger to his hand • it's so subtle it's almost plausible it wasn't on purpose but as cooper puts some of the final loops to connect lucy's finger to his hand, the thread forms a heart. in the same moment, cooper takes full responsibility for what lucy did at the super duper mart • i mean, we could be here all day arguing about why he did this. like there's so little reason when he could just implicate her and make her the target of a new bounty. more caps and vials for him. in any other instant, perhaps he would have. but not like this and not over lucy • you know, in the finger biting off scene when cooper says to lucy "now that right there is the closest thing we’ve had to an honest exchange so far"? well i think he also wanted to get honest feelings out of her by messing with her, too. and this indeed was the most honest reaction they both had and with each other. because she spent most of her time preaching her vault propaganda to him and he was nothing but forthcoming with her about everything tbh. now why he needed honesty hour to be gloveless and with losing fingers, that's anyone's guess. she surprised him with that bite, i suppose. but she also surprised him with her principles.

• cooper is a deeply romantic, protective, and once upon a time, a good man. i think after his encounter with lucy, all those qualities are manifesting themselves inside him again. and because of lucy. and him sewing lucy's finger to his hand symbolizes that • i know this is bizarre but this is indeed the "fallout" universe. this ism't the most disturbing intertwinement. a post here said that lucy biting off cooper's finger was a proposal and cooper sewing her finger onto his hand was him accepting and that was a wasteland promise ring, still laughing about this and while i don't exactly ascribe to the literal theory, i do think some type of promise was made, whether cooper to himself or cooper to others • going back to the finger biting off scene, i couldn't help but ponder why a. cooper was gloveless and b. how he managed to keep all ten of his fingers this long after two hundred years • i can't quite gather why cooper was even gloveless but the closest theories i've seen an agree with is display of vulnerability. whether by accident or not, i do think cooper was attracted to lucy's goodness, saw [both himself and] barb inside her and wanted to poke and prod such an outlook. he's seen where it can go. goodness and morality in the wasteland is horseshit. but lucy proved him so wrong. • fingers are a semi important motif and particularly to cooper. in episode three, we see him go out of his way to touch barb's fingers when she gives him the lavender taffy. it is an intimate exchange. so too is the finger biting and finger cutting off scene. a gothic depiction of intimacy.

• lucy and her finger symbolizes something cooper has that's not so obvious to the viewer and that's hope. sure, it's demented he cut her finger off and sewed it onto his hand but she did bite his finger off first, tooth for a tooth, fair is fair slgdgldl [at least she got another one herself] • every time he looks at that finger and every time he uses it to play judge, jury, or executioner, cooper will carry the spirit of lucy's moral compass with him. that's some crazy symbolism, i think • it really seemed that by trying to "help" lucy by teaching her hard lessons of the wasteland, cooper opened himself up to harm and vulnerability with his gloveless hands. every scene with his gloveless hands has something to do with lucy. • two hundred years and kept all ten fingers until this random girl bit one off? he saw something inside her it clouded his self preservation • 'cause i fucked up a poor, defenseless gang affiliated organ dealership" lmaooo he's in love so bad, he ain't do nothin' but go on a drug bender in that ho 😭 • for probably the first time in decades, he's taken the fall for someone else. a selfless act. quite literally altruism. he doesn't have to do this and yet • this is devoted cooper in action. lucy is a ray of sunshine and goodness in this awful world, no wonder he wanted a bit of her on him. so when he tells her "nothing stays clean up here, vaulty." he was kinda wrong. because now he has something "clean" and and good. and it's lucy's finger

• anyways so sorrel's like "but that super duper mart you gutted was under our protection. so if i wanted to let you go scot free, folks might lose faith about what we're trying to do here. and then what?" "anarchy in the streets" everything this man says is funny af, i'm howling • another thing! dom predro has been digging cooper up every year for thirty years to cut pieces of him off [to do who knows what]. when lucy bites cooper's finger off, she ends up having his blood in her mouth. a part of him is also in her too. this is gothic. also! is him cutting off her finger not a trauma response 😭 he's been cut off of before so he's just acting out of his captivity atp like my goodness, they messed him up so bad • lucy fucked up that organ trafficking ring up so bad, sorrel was really trying to feed cooper to his pigs lmao • it's so nutty lucy has caused so much chaos than cooper has--- he shot siggi's leg off and had a shoot out in filly but damn he did not take out a gang affiliated organ trafficking ring ran in a grocery store. he was actually helping them keep it open like 😭

• there's something so special about sorrel asking cooper if he has anything to say in his defense and as cooper says "guilty as charged" and sorrel asking "just like that?" and cooper flexing lucy's newly sewed on finger on his hand as he goes "just like that" ❤️ • you can't tell me he's not about to go to the ends of the earth for her fkdgdkd • this was his opportunity to turn her in and possibly get a bounty from her or just tell the truth but cooper did. not. do. it. • there was something about the way he sewed lucy's finger on, too [i don't care if i'm reaching] but it reminded me of his and barb's scenes, where if she was in the room, nothing else really mattered. made no difference if it was conversation he was having or what. his attention was on barb the whole time. this scene reminds me of that because he focused on sewing lucy's finger on his hand for the majority of his and sorrel's conversation

• cooper is so?? because why he implicate himself in the actual thing he did with the shootout in filly? "now, if you need anymore evidence, i can tell you about this town i just shot up, filly. oh i must have killed nine or ten people" all in self defense, your honour, please 😭 • y'all don't understand. he's going the extra mile now. he's providing evidence for something he didn't do. he's implicating himself even more by diverting all suspicion to him to cover for lucy. there's no reason for him to do this. • cooper, somehow knowing sorrel got stupid henchmen, starts baiting one of them through the old "you're a coward" "no i'm not" technique • sorrel "don't take the bait, son" then cooper, "well i ain't fishing". nah he did that earlier gldgdlfgld • well anyways, cooper gets out of this pickle pretty quick and gets the upper hand and shoots sorrel's henchmen sheriffs dead and multiple times • didn't realize cooper threw the guns at their bodies after • cooper doesn't recognize moldaver's mugshot

• back in the past, cooper takes up charlie's offer for a meeting and drives up to hollywood forever cemetery • the car cooper is in is a 1954 kaiser darrin • i don't know why cults is sort of an underpinning of the theme of this episode [which is about traps of various kinds] but the comparison and contrast between cooper's and lucy's "cult" meetings and them both being about moldaver is such a plot twist • cooper and lucy both going to these meetings thinking they won't fit in but end up learning something anyways • admittedly the vault 4 cult ritual or whatever was a little weird but it's pretty much how the survivors are coping so i get it tbh • maximus asking lucy "you want to make my cock explode now?" "what?" "sorry, intercourse?" screaminggg, what a gentleman 💀❤️

• "these people are insane." "yeah, they're like you. a little weird but nice." 🥲 • lucy trying to talk maximus out of leaving vault 4 because they were scaring her and she thought it was dangerous ☹️ • lucy goes to level 12 to snoop around in these people's house • turns out level 12 is a horror show but not because of the residents, but because of vault tec • it's wild the stuff lucy saw of level 12 was just shit her father hank signed off on and agreed with • the scientist whose face lucy threw acid in was the same man who nodded at her during the breakfast scene 😭 • them trying to restrain her makes so much sense after this • lucy tells them they're crazy but birdie says "i'm sure if we came to your home, we would say the same thing", first viewing i thought birdie was ridiculous for saying this but second viewing is knowing she is right • they show maximus again eating popcorn, getting the taste of safety and comfort again after years 🥲 • this episode was about traps of all kinds--- the situations people find themselves in, the situations people put others in, the trappings of fame, fortune, power, money. literal traps, figurative traps. traps of the mind and traps of the soul. the worst part about being caught in a trap is not knowing you're in one.

#fallout #fallout show #text post #my meanderings #lucy #maximus #the ghoul #cooper #the trap #barb #janey #ghoulcy #vaultknight

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helpwts · 3 days

Text

I was born to love you with all my heart - 🎧‼️

F!reader x Hirai Momo

Genre: fluffy; angst; not proofread coz im lazy af

A/N’s note: kinda ass but i rlly wanted to continue writing again so imma just do it. had this idea for quite a while so i finally found the time to do it <3 @kirxyz

——————————

You roll around your bed waiting for something magical or interesting to happen. That’s what you have been doing for the past thirty minutes since your best friend Momo had been leaving you on read without giving an actual reason.

“y/n i told you im busy i got some things to do unlike you, who lays on bed rolling around!”

Honestly she was right, you were always clinging onto her like a koala who couldn’t let go. You were always either talking to her or hibernating in your bedroom and class. You never had the motivation to do anything else other than doing unfinished work so you wouldn’t get in trouble with the school. (you never liked school you just wanted a good report)

Momo on the other hand was totally different. She liked socialising and never really had the thought of staying home where she could rest. She was loved by many people that you were scared someone would take her from you, not like she was your girlfriend or something… right?

You never had feelings for the girl as she always treated you like a best friend just like you did for the past 4 years you have been friends. It was a normal close friend relationship that a typical friendship would look like.

——

“Momo can you come over im bored and hungry, too lazy to buy my own food” you voice recorded over the phone in hopes Momo would actually listen to you unlike last time when she just heard “come over” and never brought the sole purpose of you asking her to come.

Momo had left you on read yet again. This week was disappointing for you as you had been left on read close to 5 times in just a week. (probably just your overthinking self thinking she hated you clinging onto her every minute of the day, surprising she actually put up with it) It was very unusual of her to do so as she was a very socially online person unlike you who is just online to text her.

At first you thought that maybe she was just opening messages and forgot to reply you. When it kept happening, you just had to admit it bothered you. No one had made you felt this eager for them to reply to your messages.

After ten minutes had passed, you gave up waiting and decided to ring her phone demanding an answer to your text.

“hello? y/n? you never call, is this important?” her voice sounding anxious and uneasy.

“Momo i know you read my message, why haven’t you replied?” momo could just tell that you were pouting on the other side of the phone.

“thats what this call was about? you made me scared y/n! this is sooo unusual for you, anything happened at home?”

Your cheeks grew bigger at her worry about you, you were a blushing mess after you heard her express her worries when you called her, you didn’t think it was a big deal since she always did it, after this call you felt like calling her would feel like a special moment now.

“oh! nothing unusual momoring, just very bored right now. Sooo are you coming over?”

“Ohhh yeah i got something to tell you y/n, i have been busy lately because i have a boyfriend now! I can still come over if you want! Do you allow him to visit too?” Momo was excited and you could feel her smile from the call but you couldn’t reciprocate that same joy she had.

Your heartbeat started speeding up, you just couldn’t believe it. All this time when she left you on read was because she had a boyfriend all along? It felt like you might faint right there right now. You didn’t know how much time had passed as you processed this new information until she spoke.

“y/n? helloooo? are you still there?” not paying attention to the fact about why you would be silent

“i-i got to go Momo my mom just texted me, i really need to answer this, bye momo love ya” you stammered, you didn’t even think you would be able to say anything without crying or whimpering in the middle.

Momo didn’t think anything about it and just let it go.

——

You started ignoring Momo’s texts and calls tearing up whenever you saw her contact notification. You weren’t supposed to feel this way but why are you? It’s hurting you inside but you just couldn’t admit why it was. You knew that she wouldn’t even have a thought about dating her best friend, especially since you were a girl. She never showed any signs of interest, so why were you surprised she had a boyfriend? She was somewhat popular where you were anyways. It was bound to turn this way.

You sniffled trying to hold it in. Sliding the notification away, ignoring it. You didn’t want to do it, truthfully you missed her. But by acknowledging her existence, you would fall for her even more. You really want to text her, apologising for ignoring her, going to her house watching movies with her again. You missed going out with her being best friends and spending time together again.

You visited her instagram page every so often, admiring her beautiful features, imagining that she would one day be yours. Were these feelings mutual? She had a boyfriend now, it was useless loving her like you always wanted to.

—————

Interestingly enough, she posted a new picture the day after. Caption being “ignorant friends, but it’s okay, im watching my man” Could she have been referring to you? She must be, all her other friends were supportive of her relationship, not saying you weren’t, you just wasn’t fond of it enough to tell her that you were.

You were worried sick, scared that you had ruined your beloved ‘friend’ship with your favourite person in the universe. All because you were jealous of that boy that she was apparently dating. This wouldn’t have happened if you just put away your feelings and supported her and continued being friends.

The picture threw you off even more, it was of her and her mate kissing happily. You wanted to burst out in tears right there right now. You silently cried at your desk, speechless.

You wanted to barge into her apartment demanding an explanation for the picture. But why? She shouldn’t have to explain anything. It was her life and she should be able to do whatever she wanted. Asking for an explanation is going to make your friendship worse than it already was becoming. You felt a deep jealousy towards him.

Realising you wouldn’t have a chance watching her happy with him, you thought it would just be better for you and her to not be in contact anymore. It was the best anyways, you wouldn’t want to ruin her life because you liked her.

—————

Some years later you had moved back to Korea to study. You and your family had planed to visit Japan for a holiday. Visiting Tokyo for a week before going back to Korea to continue studies.

Coincidentally Momo also had plans to go Tokyo for visiting since she had only been there once before, with you and oh how she cherished the moment.

This time she was going with her friends, trying to cheer her up from her recent break up. It was also a time to enjoy so she could relax from the drama she had been facing.

You just arrived in Tokyo international airport, with your family excited to enjoy the fun trip you were going to experience and the moments you were going to cherish.

Momo was returning back to Kyoto after her truly needed trip to relax and have some fun. Waiting for her plane, she was resting in a coffeeshop with her friends chattering away together.

Despite your excitement, you wouldn’t have expected anyone else would other than family members you were supposed to meet.

Momo too had randomly spotted you wearing baggy clothes and headphones as your family were talking to each other seemingly trying to figure out where they wanted to go first.

To Momo, you looked so cute and adorable, like a lost child waiting for their parents to pick them up. She wanted to run to you, telling you how much she missed you. But she was scared you would hate her and not forgive her.

You on the other hand looked up and Momo immediately turned away hoping you didn’t see her staring into your soul and that you didn’t recognise her. Unfortunately for her, you noticed her right away and was puzzled, doesn’t she live in Kyoto? why is she here? you thought carefully. But the most important question that appeared in your head was why she wasn’t with her boyfriend. It felt suspicious to you.

Luckily, Momo’s friend spotted you staring at Momo and pointed it out. “Momo, isn’t that your old friend? y/n…y/n? ah y/n! Why don’t you go say Hi or something Momo?” Momo didn’t know what to say, she wanted to say no but her friend insisted, waving you over to come to the cafe.

You didn’t mind at all that you were approaching your used to be dream girl. You were in a happy relationship with your girlfriend, Nayeon. You were sure she wouldn’t mind you meeting your old friend, you had already told her clearly you didn’t like her anymore like you used to.

The aura was awkward you didn’t know how to talk to her after the years had passed. Suddenly Momo’s friend introduce herself, “Hey Y/N, you’re momo’s friend right? Heard a lot about you! I’m Sana, nice to meet you” Momo was a blushing mess, she never expected to see you again nor hear your name coming out from someone’s mouth. She just prayed that it would end soon.

“Nice to meet you, Sana. Momo, long time no see. How have you been?” Momo just stared at you, admiring your face and your beautiful eyes. You called for her again. Momo shook her head in embarrassment, quickly replying, “Oh yes hello! It’s a pleasure to meet you again. Im doing well, Im guessing you are too?” She scratches her head dying inside hoping it would just end right here.

You nod and ask her if you could stay in contact together, also asking why she was in Tokyo. She finally stopped blushing and was able to talk without being a stuttering mess.

—————

Momo had decided she wanted to stay in Tokyo for a few more days (partly because she wanted to be with you) alone. You had been texting her and asking how her life has been, however she never told you about whether she was in a relationship or not which you were still curious about but didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

On the last day of your trip, which coincidentally was also Momo’s last. You and momo decided to meet together in a restaurant to have lunch together and get to remember each other more.

After having a fun time remembering all those last moments, suddenly she spoke up. Acting shy, she admitted to you, “ y/n it has been long since we met but honestly i have been feeling things for you.”

You were speechless, you didn’t want to tell her but you had to. “Momo i don’t know how to say this but, im in a relationship with someone and im not sure how to tell you but im happy and don’t really want to date someone else..”

Momo’s heart shattered, she wanted to burst into tears in the restaurant. Why hadn’t you mentioned this earlier? Why did you wait until she liked you?

“Besides, don’t you have.. whats his name? Heechul? Isnt he your boyfriend or..”

“We broke up y/n, thats why i was here, to heal from that stupid ass relationship. He wasn’t good for me, he cheated. I could treat you better y/n! i was born to love you with all my heart..”

You stayed silent and looked down.

#helpwts #hirai momo #momo twice #twice #twice x y/n #twice x reader #twice kpop #kpop #kpop gg #twice imagines #twice momo #momo #twice angst #kpop angst #momo angst #twice momo angst

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