#it's like okay you destroyed the evil government so what are your plans for like restabilization and creating some sort of mechanism

[lord-squiggletits]

When I think about it it’s actually kind of weird that JRO retroactively wrote in that around the time Megatron killed Sentinel, he was still trying to convince the populace to be on his side (”trying to convince the populace” as in caring about the people rather than fighting for its own sake as established in Dark Cybertron).

I mean when I think about the fact that Megatron had the entire Senate massacred (bar a few random Senators), that’s not exactly a move that inspires confidence broadly in a population? Maybe I’m coming at it from a privileged perspective but I feel like in any given society, massacring the entire standing government is a move that WOULD appeal to radical elements (aka the people that probably already stood with Megatron), but it would definitely not inspire confidence in the Decepticons to literally anyone else. The Senate being evil or no, a rebel group that kills (or arranges to be killed) the entire standing government body isn’t exactly a group that most people would look at and go “hmm they will definitely stop killing right at this point and they will definitely not continue to use violence as a form of political action and control.”

#squiggposting #jro being on his megatron apologism as usual i suppose #inb4 someone calls me a centrist for this take lmao #can you think of a single event in history where an entire government was murdered #and the government who arose in its place didn't continue killing people just like they killed the previous government? #if you can then please tell me because i'd love to know #i think the only saving grace of this is that there was no actual footage/proof captured of who killed the senate #but also megatron was dueling sentinel in the open and then killed HIM so i feel like it's fairly obvious to the populace #that the decepticons were behind the senate murder even if there's no 'proof' #there's no other political party on cybertron with enough political or military clout to pull off something so ambitious #like idk sure the government is evil and most if not all of them deserved to die #but also straight up murdering a whole government doesn't really prove that you will be a good government in turn you know what i mean #i'm not sure how megatron expected to win the populace of cybertron to his side by demonstrating that he and his followers #primary tactic is violence #it's like okay you destroyed the evil government so what are your plans for like restabilization and creating some sort of mechanism #for representation? the work doesn't just stop with killing people #but if you just straight up kill all of your political opponents... that doesn't really inspire confidence in the ability to rule #given that war is politics and politics requires things like concessions and trials and some sort of you know #not just killing all of your enemies #anyways i do appreciate the added depth to megatron but like #i'm pretty sure that addition to the plot was 100% JRO retconning things to make megatron more sympathetic #i suppose i can buy that at that point in his life megatron viewed such violence AS a way to express his care for the people #but just because that's what he THINKS doesn't mean the rest of the world would see it as such

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #52: FRAGMENTS of a GREATER DARKNESS

December, 1989

Master Pandemonium reveals the untold secrets of his origin and -- the shocking truth about the Scarlet Witch's children!

Buddy, neither of those secrets will make you look less ridiculous with the lopsided, partially filled in pentagram hole in your tum tum or your ridiculous baby hands.

And I think John Byrne realized that the baby hands didn't quite have the impact he was hoping for because he makes them more grotesque imps on the cover but still look like babies attached to this man's hands in the inside art.

Mistakes have been made but stubbornly we preserve even when we shouldn't.

Speaking of mistakes: a little note to myself. I really should have done this issue to finish up the baby hands saga, then done Atlantis Attacks, then Avengers 311, then Avengers West Coast 53, then Avengers 312.

Sorry. Byrne writing both books means they're vaguely more interconnected than ever and then you have back to back company-wide events. I got mixed up.

And yeah, Wanda goes right from all of this baby hands stuff to being kidnapped and engaged to a snake elder god and then right into Acts of Vengeance. She's having a really bad life.

So last times in Avengers West Coast: Vision disassembled by the government. Put back together but loses his emotions. Wanda tricked by Texas college and pumped full of evil ooze that makes her racist. Later, she brings the robot Human Torch back to life in a fit of pique. Demons attack the Avengers West Coast Compound and while she's fighting Master Pandemonium, her babies get kidnapped. Her teammates don't seem to care but eventually agree to go with her to rescue them. When the Avengers track down Master Pandemonium, they see that he's jammed Wanda's babies onto his arms to be his hands.

The last time summary basically reads as 'shit keeps happening to specifically Wanda.'

This is supposed to be horrific. The previous page describes it as "a heart-wrenching tale of ultimate tragedy" but I am incapable of taking this seriously.

This man -- who was already kind of ridiculous as a character -- jammed babies onto his elbows and declared it makes him unbeatable.

This is his master plan. He is so proud of his accomplishment.

... Is he just going to use tiny baby hands for all manual dexterity tasks from now on? Is he going to pick up a sandwich with their tiny hands and bring it up to his mouth to eat? Is he going to hold a toothbrush with a baby hand and then brush his teeth? Actually, all hygiene tasks are going to be awkward and horrible like this.

THIS IS WORSE IN EVERY WAY THAN JUST HAVING NORMAL HANDS.

Wonder Man cautions that they'll need to be careful fighting Master Pandemonium since he has Tommy and Billy as human shields but Master Pandemonium laughs that Tommy and Billy can't be harmed because they're part of him and he's unbeatable.

Then he makes Tommy hand shoot demonfire with his tinier hands.

Don't try to make me like this through sheer ridiculousness, John.

Iron Man tries blasting Master Pandemonium with a strong enough repulsor blast to destroy an office block but the guy no sells it.

Master P explains he just wanted to use the baby souls to replace what was missing from his (and he chose these specific babies because?) but coincidentally they happened to be two of his missing soul pieces!

Ain't that a lucky break for specifically Master P!

Anyway, he does the thing he does and shoots dozens of demons out of his arms. And guess what? The demons are buffed compared to before because they benefit from him getting 2/5s of his soul back!

Sure, okay.

US Agent orders the Avengers to leap into action and Wasp thinks he sounded almost as impressive as Captain America there.

All he said was "Well, don't just stand there gaping! Demons they may be... but we're Avengers! Lets show 'em what that means!"

You're too easily impressed, Wasp.

Anyway, she shoots at a demon with her Wasp's Sting but the demon explodes into a hundred smaller demons. So Dr Pym pulls out a needle gun and shoots hundreds of needles to shred the wings of the hundred demons.

Damn, Pym. Brutal.

Vision strolls through the horde of demons, confident that his intangibility makes him untouchable.

Then a demon breaks his neck.

Damn. That'd be brutal if it wasn't Vision and if Wonder Man didn't explicitly state in the next panel that Vision can recover from that.

Wonder Man manages to make his way through the demons with less neck breaking than Vision and tackles Master Pandemonium.

He tries to pin Master P's arms at his side so he can't use Billy and Tommy to cast spells but one of the baby hands twists out of his grasp and bites his entire head.

Back on Earth, the Robot Human Torch flies above the Avengers West Coast Compound.

This is. A weird trend, actually. The issue after he was revived, I think he was introduced flying above the Compound and then landing. When he appears in Atlantis Attacks, he's flying above the Compound and then landing.

Is this stock footage?

But in this instance, he was making sure there were no more demons left. He also sees a weird tiny cat dashing into the bushes when he lands but he dismisses it as something to ask about later.

... Did Tigra get out? Dammit, Hank!

Jim Hammond, Robot Human Torch, heads back inside and sees that Agatha Harkness is just staring off at nothing.

So he decides to recap Master Pandemonium's whole deal to Ann Raymond, since she's around and doesn't already know.

You know the deal. Martin Preston (who has the same initials as Master Pandemonium? Wow) was a devil worshiping movie executive (retcon from being an actor) who drunk drove his way into a bad accident that cost his arm. He called for demons or whatever to save him so Mephisto appeared and replaced all of his limbs with demons. For laughs. He also took Martin's soul, ripped it into five and scattered them around the universe. Also for laughs.

Jim Hammond's recap calls the star-shaped hole in Master P's tum tum a "star-shaped scar" and bullshit. That is a whole. It has a suggestion of depth. It was a fight choreography detail that Wonder Man punched through the hole when he was trying to deck Master P.

It's not a scar, John. It's a star-shaped hole in his tum tum. GOD.

Anyway. Ann Raymond says cool story but what the fuck does this have to do with anything? Why is he kidnapping babies?

Agatha Harkness rouses from her weird trance to deliver some retcon exposition.

Remember when Vision dry-humped babies into Wanda because she was channeling a ludicrous amount of magic through her and through magic all things are possible, including spontaneous pregnancy?

Fuck you. Only god can create life.

(It is so fucking weird for Agatha Harkness of all people to say that only god can create life. She's been burned at the stake. Multiple times.)

Anyway, Agatha says that all along, Wanda's babies were "manifestations of Wanda's will. One small step beyond illusion."

How come Dr Strange never noticed if he oversaw the birth?

Stop asking Agatha Harkness questions. She has stuff to do.

To get Jim to shut up with his concerns about the Avengers, she reassures him that she has her cat familiar keeping an eye on them so she'll definitely know if they need help.

Cue the montage of the Avengers needing all the help.

Let's see. Hank has been grabbed by the ghoulies. Wasp is being eaten by a Murloc. US Agent is... blobbed? Iron Man is being bear hugged by an electric vantablack thingie. Scarlet Witch is holding hands with a horrible troll (because she needs to gesture to do stuff). And Wonder Man is being eaten by the baby hand.

Which still looks ridiculous.

Hm. But that might solve the question of how Master Pandemonium is going to eat with toddlers for hands. Maybe he can just eat through them.

Master Pandemonium decides that since absorbing some babies worked out so well, he's going to power up his baby hands by feeding them Wanda's soul.

He's just doing whatever pops into his head.

Dr Pym interrupts and tells Master Pandemonium that there's a huge inconsistency with his story. He says that Tommy and Billy are two of his missing soul pieces but then how come they were born before Master P met Mephisto?

Which... I guess is a date that Hank knows?

Because someone always has to be spying on the Avengers and Immortus already said he can't for this story, Mephisto is spying on things play out. From his throne of agony.

Mephisto smirks to himself that Master Pandemonium has no idea what's really going on.

SO HERE'S THE REAL STORY.

Narrated by Mephisto to No One In Particular.

So, Franklin blew up Mephisto once, back in Fantastic Four #277. I have no idea why the Fantastic Four were fighting A Devil. But Mephisto was eventually able to mostly recombobulate himself.

But missing five pieces of his essence.

(Do you see where this is going?)

Him jamming demons on Martin Preston's limbs and making a star-shaped hole in his tum tum wasn't just for laughs. It was to trick specifically this dude and only this dude no other dudes into searching for the missing Mephisto pieces while thinking it was his own missing soul.

In fact, Martin never lost his soul at all.

Master Pandemonium reacts badly to the news (from Hank, he can't hear Mephisto). He accuses Hank and Wanda of lying.

Anyway, then a portal opens and Jim Hammond the Robot Human Torch strolls out with the last two missing pieces of Master Pandemonium's soul but actually of Mephisto. And he promises to just give them to the dude if he promises the Avengers will be released unharmed.

Master Pandemonium agrees but as soon as Jim hands over the glowy things, he reneges.

Master Pandemonium: "With my soul fully restored, I need not be bound by the promises I give mere mortals! By turning the fragments over to me, you have signed your own death warrant!"

But when he places the last "soul pieces" there's still a piece missing. The center of the star.

And Master Pandemonium gets sucked into that hole.

Somehow.

In fact everything gets sucked into the pentagon shaped hole in his tum tum. The lair, the demons, everything but the Avengers. Leaving them in a blank void.

With Mephisto.

He tells everyone that all the soul pieces - including Billy and Tommy - have been restored to their proper place, ie Mephisto.

Then Agatha's cat digivolves into a bigger, scarier cat and everybody stands around narrating action that's just off-panel.

It is literally that scene from Gravity Falls.

John Byrne is a good comic artist.

Agatha Harkness contacts Wanda MAGICALLY. Wanda frets that Mephisto is going to destroy Ebony but Agatha dismisses her worries because Eboy is made of stronger stuff.

But this is all just a diversion, to buy time for Wanda to resolve this plot.

Agatha commands Wanda to open her mind and soul to her and then I guess something happens.

Something sure happens.

And everybody is back at the Avengers West Coast compound. With Mephisto defeated? Gone? Gotten bored and wandered off? Like, he only showed up two pages ago and he wasn't even starting shit. Ebony started shit.

This isn't a great victory against the devil. This was Agatha slamming the 'end story' button.

It's time for Agatha to Explain It All.

You see, by absorbing Billy and Tommy, Mephisto left a weak point in his defenses because the kids were still tied to Wanda by the spell she used to create them.

AND THEN AGATHA GAVE WANDA MAGICAL AMNESIA ERASING HER MEMORY OF BILLY AND TOMMY

And this, for magic reasons, caused the devil to poof. For a little bit.

Agatha says that Billy and Tommy were never real. Just a hysterical pregnancy that was magically amplified and snagged two of the missing Mephisto pieces as a basis to make imaginary babies out of.

Wasp points out how fucked up it is that Wanda is going to wake up and learn that her babies are forever gone because they were the devil but, see, the amnesia takes care of that.

No pesky questions about missing children or crying over missing children or going on fruitless quests for missing children.

US Agent points out how fucked up it is to make a mother forget her children and Agatha says she's basically a mother figure to Wanda so she knows best.

I don't like this story in all kinds of ways.

Even if I only hated the plot and character direction, the art on this issue is bad. And lazy. Hiding an entire devil vs cat fight scene off-panel and having talking heads just tell us how it's going? For shame.

The action was lackluster. Having the entire team just get rocked by Master Pandemonium instead of being able to put up a fight like previous times.

And it was less interested in telling a good story than undoing previous stories.

The issue ends with a tease of Atlantis Attacks, so Wanda is going to have a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time.

Either John Byrne doesn't like Wanda or he's the kind of guy who breaks the things he likes.

I already covered Atlantis Attacks, whoops, so next week more Avengers West Coast as Wanda has a terrible time in Acts of Vengeance.

Follow @essential-avengers to psychically send Wanda Maximoff well wishes and maybe a beverage of choice. Like and reblog to make me happy.

#avengers #essential avengers #west coast avengers #Master Pandemonium #Mephisto #Agatha Harkness #scarlet witch #wonder man #iron man #US Agent #the Wasp #hank pym #dr pym #the vision #robot Human Torch #tigra #teeny little tigra #gratuitous Atlantis Attacks mention #this was bad but at least it's behind me now

[thessalian]

Thess vs A CrapSack World

So basically the world is really, really fucked up right now. I can bullet-point a lot of it, or at least I can try.

GENOCIDE BAD, OKAY?

And across the pond from me... Not seeing nearly enough about the fact that "old white dude quietly trying to get shit done as leader of his country but also maintaining the status quo on genocide" is still better than "old orange-ish dude who will destroy your fucking country and exacerbate the genocide if you let him get in again"

Apparently standing up and shouting "GENOCIDE BAD" is enough to panic people in this country so hard that folks are spinning fantasies about some Israeli Deep State controlling all of us (yes, actual government officials are saying this shit, and not even really getting condemned for it - look up Lee Anderson sometime) and start hinting at new anti-protest legislation (as if we didn't have enough of that) because "mob rule is replacing democratic rule". Says the man who nobody voted for.

Everything is way too expensive. And is only getting more and more expensive as time goes on - especially here, since we're having the worst effects of Brexit hitting us in stages and we're just about at the worst of it now.

The wealthy are blaming us for not wanting to work too hard for too little money, and for not buying enough to keep industries running, and generally fucking over everybody to keep their profit margins going ever-upwards. I can almost see the upcoming destruction of the bubble, but apparently we're going to go into "dynamic pricing" first, to make us pay more even for essentials depending on some AI's idea of when they can fleece us the most. Basically I'm tired of being a money-stuffed pinata to be beaten on by our corporate overlords until cash comes out.

On a personal note, I just had to register for postal voting and have no the fuck idea who I should be voting for because for fuck's sake, they're all as bad as each other at that point. I could probably focus on my constituency, but this is such a safe Labour seat that it barely even matters. Still, I'm not going to hike up a fucking hill to exercise my democratic rights, even if I don't know if there's anyone I can actually in all good conscience vote for.

Further personal note: just about every fucking part of the government seems to hate trans people. They all seem to be making the statement about "I know what a man is and I know what a woman is and there is no confusion about that", with the underlying suggestion of "man = penis, woman = vulva", which ... dear gods. We've got people asking, "Were the two kids who murdered a trans pupil really evil?" like, "Yeah, they fucking killed somebody, but ... well, it was only one of those..."

Final personal note: I am still so fucking tired of being disabled. I want to go out to the yarn store in my area, because ... y'know, good yarn, learning to crochet, yadda. Plus some other errands - I need gluten-free pasta, which they ran out of for my big monthly grocery order, and some other stuff. But I'm having to plan this entire trip in the most strategic way you can imagine because ... well, pain. I am so tired of having pain.

So there's all of ... y'know. This. And sometimes I don't know how I don't just despair myself into the ground. Because I can't do anything about most of this. Hell, I can't do anything about any of this. It just sits there, being shitty.

However. I had a really helpful therapist once, after I had my really major breakdown, and she said that the whole thing where I was grabbing at anything that might have the remotest chance of making me even briefly happy was a good instinct, and I just had to learn to do it more consciously. So. As small and shallow as some of these things are, here are my things right now:

I have the most awesome friends.

On the subject of friends, I have D&D nights.

I have pretty decent parentals, all told.

I have a new-old book (an old favourite I haven't read in a long time, and picked up for my Kindle recently)

I have a week off work, so I can recover a bit from the ow.

I have the first game I've pre-ordered since Dredge, which will be available in just over two weeks.

I have a trip to the yarn store ... and the yarn store has a shop cat.

That'll do for the time being. It may not seem like much, but it's a good bulwark between me and despair. I remember enough about my really major breakdown to know I really need those.

#Thess vs the world in general

[blacksupremacy86]

Captain America: Time Alteration

Steve Roger’s is in the midst of war throwing his body onto an oncoming bomb throwing at me. Steve jumps into the air blocking me from getting hit and I go flying into the near wall.

I wake up hours later in some offshore,make shift secret base in the middle of the sea a door swing open. “Oh! You are up!” Steve aka The one and oh my Captain America says to me.

Apparently for my safety I am strap down to the bed with the memories of yesterday are permeating my mind the bomb goes off and Steve pushing me out of the way conking me out.

I saw a glimmer of light sparkle in his eyes I knew my hero, America’s sparkle man in tights and America’s ass in blue pants that pop.

A ass so right he could crack a safe with it okay…okay a bit of a exaggeration on my part but still come one I am sick I can do what I want.

What I want is the piece of man candy in mi eye line I want to ravish him but I must stay on target. He undoes the straps letting me go free.

“I am so…so sorry we have to finally be able to meet under such awful circumstances in life.”

“Why am I here? Shouldn’t I be in a general hospital or something.”

“We need to be brief on everything you that know could be helpful.”

“Like what could I know?”

“Hydra’s plans.”

“All I know is the created a time portal to new worlds.”

“It does more than that.”

“It shift reality”

“The world would bend to their will.”

I threw the folded to the side to his shock an awe of dismay crawls over his face with his arms crossing.

I want to rip his pants open and make sweet masks with his asshole but my eyes seem to wander off.

They land onto a weird shiny object I reach out for it a piece of the tesseract he found on the scene.

Using my feet I sweep pass camp as he goes go collect the assorted files of the folded on the floor.

Pick it up I close my eyes letting it settle on to my palms the shatter piece glows bright with excitement.

The light covers him in a blinding then me with the entirety of the room eyes and the sensors unnoticed.

“Oh Captain! I am only human.”

“What fiendishly evil plan are you deigning to concoct?”

“Mwahahahahaha! Fiendish?”

“I am taking advantage of an advantageous moment.”

“Premeditated maybe”

“Hardly? How was I to know you would be stupid enough to leave evidence in an open place?”

“Any who! Take a deep breath this will be all consuming.”

“Mwahahahahaha….kneel for your king”

“Welcome to the new world order bitch.”

Something is off I love the feeling when the smoke fades I am sitting on my throne in the throne room.

The shattered fragment is in my crown the cloud vanish out of my eyes lowering them to see Steve kneeling.

I feel a powerful energy over take me in total excitement, my hand on his head causes him to moan in pleasure.

Captain rises to his feet with a broad smile on his face, he gives salute and the places his hand on my chest.

He hands me a file with loads of pertinent information to disassemble The Avengers and prey on their weaknesses.

Every private government agency has been eradicated under my kingdom for a lifetime of submission.

“Master Lawrence the US is the last county to fall to you.”

“Do you understand your place now?”

“Sir Yes Master Lawrence I am at your will Sir.”

“I must shatter the last defense to the world.”

“The Avengers and The Justice League”

“Crush them, ruin them and end them.”

“Mwahahahahaha…precisely”

“Anything else I should know”

“I am awaiting for your command”

“You fought valiantly I’ll give you that “

“I lost though, my pride destroys me”

“I see the light Master Lawrence “

“You are a piece of work”

“Thank you sire!”

“Sir Yes Sir”

“Submit to me”

“Already have”

“I am going after them Master”

The end

[soul-dwelling]

I wonder if the "war arc ending" thing used allways to be the case in shonen. From Naruto to MHA to OP in the future and even partly Soul Eater with the whole clone army thing - guess its a logical conclusion of ever growing stakes and powerlevels, spectacles that need to leap over all what came before.

Naruto may not have needed to be a war--but then again, you have villages in territorial disputes, inspired by the history of ninjas used in warfare, so it's kind of hard to avoid that as a plot trope.

Same with One Piece: it's a pirate story, it has a navy, it has a world government, it's kind of hard not to bring up war.

MHA is divisive for me. Superhero stories don't strictly have to be war stories. And I'd too sour to treat the ongoing war arc(s) well, as I can't believe how badly the Pro Heroes dropped the ball on all of this (not preparing enough, not enough heroes, not having more contingency plans, somehow just letting Re-Destro or, rather, his clone, show up at their offices and not having a plan to contain him before he killed someone).

Superheroes have been in war stories (they have been used repeatedly to drum up support for war efforts). But that's not quite how MHA went about it...

...Although, given the post-January 6 2021 climate we're in in the US, I end up looking at the war arcs and realizing, "Ah, okay, this is what happens when you have some really evil fuckers doing fucked up shit to government officials--and a government too incompetent or so destroyed from internal rightwing forces that it can't respond in time, got it."

To its credit, maybe Fire Force ending without a war exactly, or saving the final moments for mostly talking it out and re-directing any action scenes not to a fight but the action film equivalent of painting a blank landscape was more creative....and that is about the nicest thing I can say about Fire Force compared to all the other series I just mentioned above.

I don't get why Soul Eater ended with a war arc. I can accept that Ohkubo had in mind a fight against Asura and Crona planned far in advance, to have them be the titular soul eater.

But Asura had since faded away for so long. Who cares that we now have him confronted finally?

And even when considering that Justin and the Clowns had been popping up for awhile, what actually were they accomplishing? What was Asura's goal here? Did he just want to be left alone? Was he planning to bathe the world in madness to get back at dear old dad? That arc felt like it needed more build-up: showing an actual set of steps Justin and the Clowns were following would have helped, having Asura appear in one other arc and actually doing something in that arc to hamper the DWMA would help, foreshadowing earlier that Asura had something in common with Death and Kid would have helped.

Otherwise, the war arc to me felt like an action figure fight: "Here's my Maka Albarn action figure, here's my Crona action figure, I'm going to knock them into each other for a fight before I just have them kiss and make up."

I'm not ignoring what good these war arcs can do. Bakugo finally apologizes to Izuku. We see Black Star come into his own. We say goodbye to Lord Death. All of that works. But nothing about those strike me as needing a war to make them happen.

And that's not even getting into when your war story is more like a GI Joe story rather than a response to actual real-life wars, assuming a silly fantasy story is going to handle such a response well. (See the odd Iraq invasion reference by Kid in that one chapter.)

If you're going to do the war to raise the stakes, fine, that can work. As I said, the stakes going up so that Bakugo is finally forced to apologize and Black Star gets to vomit up a laser--that all is fine. I guess what I want is a war arc emerging out of the characters' arcs and their interpersonal relationships. Is Toga's internalized trauma exploding out in a sea of Twice really needed for a war arc? Does that work at giving closure to how she regards Twice, the League, Ochaco, and Izuku? I don't think so, it seems unfocused with so much other stuff going on. Endeavor versus Dabi? Sure, that seems more suitable. Whatever is going to happen in a fight between Izuku, Shigaraki, All Might, and All For One? I guess that is inevitable.

But these are individual battles, not what I consider to be part of a larger war. Wars, I tend to think, are long-lasting affairs, small battles, insurgencies, isolated instances that foment more discord, weaken one side, lead to more desperate measures. You want an actual war arc? Watch DS9. I don't see it happening with the examples mentioned earlier, not in a more strict definition of "war."

About the only time I think the looser definition of a "war" worked was in something like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003, Season 5--where it's just, "Hey, we need to grab every last single character, hero or villain, we have ever met in this series, to work together for a final attack on the Shredder--because if he wins, all of us, hero or villain, are dead." The stakes are that large that we call that a "war," even when it's just one final attack, not a long set of battles. Sure, it's fanservice--but it was a hell of a good amount of earned fanservice.

Or, maybe war arcs suck. If you're going for spectacle, just go for a tournament as your finale, like the Cell Games in DBZ or in Yuyu Hakusho.

[bi4bihankking]

HankAl, 2

I'm going to take over the world and no one can stop me not even y- okay well if you ask nicely I guess

Hank had spent the last several months on the run from everybody, living alone in the wilderness, planning his next move. He was evil, that was what his daddy told him, and that meant that everyone he used to know was an enemy. He had been planning to fight with Captain Atom and his team, which had seemed the most logical option; they were the people who might have a chance of actually being able to stop him... he forgot why... BUT the important thing was that they had a telepath, and naturally, she was his enemy.  

At least, that was his plan before his dad started telling him that he needed to break the bond at its source. Whatever relationship he still had with the Infinitors was hampering his progress. It seemed part of him wanted to still be with them. He wasn’t devoted enough to his role as the villain.  

The only way to fix that was to truly destroy his relationship with his old friends, to turn them into his enemies, and if all else failed... to kill them... He didn’t want to do it, but his father told him it had to be done.  

Al was his first target, he didn’t think he could take Al and Todd at the same time, and unfortunately, they were still on a team together, so he had to watch them, waiting for a time when Al was alone. It took longer than he thought it would, but eventually, the duo split up.  

The other Infinitor let out a cry as a brain blast sent him sprawling to the ground, and he blinked up at Hank in confusion as his former friend approached him. It took him a moment to recognize him because Hank had shaved his head, but the moment he did, Hank was suddenly hit by an intense wave of worry.  

The worry wasn’t about himself, though, which Hank found a little bit grating. Al would never be able to believe that his good buddy Henry was a threat to him. No, all of his worry was directed at Hank because he thought there was something clearly wrong. Henry looked ragged, thinner than he’d ever been before, his cheekbones sharp and prominent.  

Then there was the fact that he’d shaved his head to look more like his father, Al had connected the dots on that one surprisingly fast, and that clinched it for the other man. According to Al, Hank just needed help, a warm meal, and maybe, a nice tight hug. But he was EVIL, and he didn’t want those things in the first place! Hank didn’t need someone to take care of him! He didn’t want that! He didn’t!  

Heroes are always like that. They pretend to care about you, pretend that they want to help you, but then they just hand you over to the authorities to be experimented on. They’ll never save you when you’re in trouble because you’ve already proven that you’re evil. You are going to make me proud, aren’t you, Junior? The floating head of his father popped into existence to whisper that in his ear, and its sudden appearance made Al try to scramble to his feet. Hank just pushed him back down with his mind.  

“Don’t move,” Hank told him, “and don’t even try to get in my way. I will kill you.” The last part had slightly more of a waver than he intended it to. He wanted to show that he meant business, he was his father’s son, and he could break into a government building without getting caught.  

Of course, Al refused to just stay there. Too late to stop him, Hank realized that he was getting big, forcing his way out of the telekinetic hold with a surprising amount of ease. Moments later, big meaty hands clamped down on Hank’s bony shoulders. Al’s soft eyes were searching his face, and Hank made a move to step backward. The man’s gaze was much too intense for him.  

“Your eyes are red,” Al said suddenly, his voice much, much softer than what Hank deserved. “Why are your eyes red?”  

“I- I’m evil! T-that’s why!” Hank stuttered out, although his façade was rapidly crumbling now that Al was so close to him.  

That’s right! He’s evil! His dad backed him up.  

“Hm,” Al gave Hank’s father only a momentary glance. He chewed his lip, looking like he was mulling something over. “I’m hungry, and you look like you must be too. Any chance you could send your dad away so we can go get some dinner together.”  

Still stuttering, but now without a ghost dad hanging over his shoulder, Hank was led away. He didn’t even have the opportunity to defend himself. 

#henry king jr #brainwave jr #al rothstein #nuklon #atom smasher #infinity inc

[the-firebird69]

What we say is you're messing with our son so badly Trump well trumpsters Trump died that we are not going to allow you into any office at all in the government ever again I'm not going to allow you into stores and restaurants of hours because you're so ornery and mean and nasty to just about everybody we don't like your race and your kind but you have proven to be one of the biggest threats that we've ever seen and you think you're going to be president again at least you know the second or third one you're nuts okay what he said is these people are clinically insane I told him to back off where you die and I show them examples they haven't listened for years these trumpsters at all this guy next door has died by my own hand refuses to get off me that's almost sneak over and just snuff them out and he starts being a huge a****** so we're going to take action now he won't go away he's stuck to me that you could kill these people day and night and they still stick to you like morons so our son said the last part it's absolutely true this clan of trumpsters is legally insane and the criminally insane and we're going to start seeing it and Corky can repeat it as much as he likes and probably won't do much to trumpsters and they're off to it that's true too they're very subjugated by the trumpsters this is an evil group okay it's the opposite of what the Max are they're out of control they're not skilled but really they're parasites and they don't know how to do much we want them dead

Thor Freya

We are working on it there are a ton of them and we're getting huge groups of people together today and we're going after them gigantic and the max are too it is repulsive what they're saying to people repulsive they're not members of society these people are outcasts even if they're sitting at the same table in a boardroom they're just continuously not there

Olympus

This is the scare this morning was too quiet and people say it he says no they're in there bothering me harassing me the same s*** look at me you didn't get your hot dogs and stuff like that and the woman make up for it and they end up fighting him it's like this nasty b**** fest but for real they're planning to do stuff and I want it stopped I want these assholes out got felt it and heard it heard some of them saying it and you and stuff like that so we're going in there targeting them as Max I'm going to clean these people out of Florida again Im issuing the order now

Hera

And she was can we get this straight just get rid of this one group it's kind of tough so we have other assignments but now we have huge strike groups going after this one group because they're huge assholes to everybody and they're causing disruption playing it wide we can't have it anymore we want that cloning down and I'm ordering it and we're going to meet today again on what to do about this group of a****** I'm going to destroy their cloning he says and you draw them in by doing it it destroy it down below and you put a cap on it and you sit there I'm going to do that anything like that that we come up with sit down and meet and agree with whether we do it or not we're going to do that now take a city you know the the father one a real famous on this stupid fathers the clones of Donald Trump are real big on this city s*** so you take the downtown area of their areas then you move it outside into a desert area and you put up a embattlements and castles and we've done it before and I don't know why we're not continuously doing this continuously because they continuously do stuff to me in us we we need to continuously do this to them Non-Stop and your plastic s*** out of them if they destroy their buildings who cares

And her son and daughter said that and she's smiling yes and we're going to do that they care about their stupid a****** buildings and he said this you draw them out all at once and he's thinking maybe in a sequence but you don't stop so we're going to write up a sequence so it doesn't stop and that makes sense we're not really ordering it to happen

Thor Freya

[phantomrose96]

Buds After the Frost

This was supposed to be a short warm-up writing exercise yesterday and then it got... longer. Enjoy!!

...

The doors opened for Maddie Fenton with a pneumatic hiss. Pressurized nitrogen released, splitting open the vacuum seal on the door as its twin halves slid apart, slotting into the wall-mounted sleeves. The nitrogen misted out, cold and dry, air currents catching in swirls around Maddie Fenton’s lab coat. Her feet thocked against hollow metal, amplified by the coldness and the vastness of the containment room beyond.

She paused short of the specimen’s cell, mindful attention drawn to the panel of controls nested rightmost against the wall. The monitor read out stats, tracked metrics of the specimen’s heartrate and blood oxygenation and blood pressure. Dials beneath the screens offered her means of interaction, manipulating the cage’s environment without needing to tamper with it by hand. She ignored these, as she had been ignoring them the entire time, and paid mind only to the single switch which would seal shut the doors behind her.

She pressed it. Another pneumatic hiss followed, locking out the world behind her. Her breath curled, cold. She and the specimen were alone.

“No coffee this morning?” he asked.

Maddie sat down at the control panel, elbow leaning against the dashboard for support. She turned to the cage. “No. One of the interns broke the pot last night. New one should be delivered today.”

Phantom let out a huff of air. “You mean in this whole gigantic mega-hyper-futuristic government lab, there’s nothing that can stand in as a coffee pot?”

“I wouldn’t stay employed long if I tried using equipment to brew coffee.”

“Use one of the big ectoplasm beakers. Ectoplasm washes out with soap and water. Just suds it up and throw it in the coffee maker. I’m an expert about these things.”

“It’s more about protocol.”

Phantom waved her off. “’Protocol.’ Bureaucracy is standing between you and a delicious cup of ectoplasmic coffee, Dr. Fenton.”

Maddie looked forward now, taking him in. He’d hovered to the front of the cell, translucent reinforced glass separating him from the rest of the lab. Green eyes shined above a cheeky smile, a dusting of loose white hairs falling over his eyes, the rest of his bangs swept slightly to the side. His tailed flickered, his aura pulsed, his vital readings blipped out steady, normal, healthy.

“Phantom?”

“Yeah?”

Maddie paused.

“Why are you still here?”

The ghost boy let out a small guffaw. He motioned his arms around him, hands waving. “I dunno. Maybe the big ghost-proof box I’m in has something to do with it?”

“The shield is down, Phantom,” Maddie answered quietly. She set her eyes to Phantom, investigating. “…I put it down last night. It’s down now. You knew this.”

Phantom took just a moment too long to react, eyebrows arching up. “Oh, huh! Nope I didn’t notice. I mean it’s not like I’m constantly throwing myself at the barrier to electrocute myself so no I just didn’t try getting past it last night so I didn’t notice.”

“Phantom,” Maddie said again, voice measured, words stern. “You saw me crank down the dial that controls the shield.”

“Well I don’t know what all those buttons and dials do.”

“Yes you do. You’ve been observing me since day 1. You knew.”

Phantom kicked back in the air, floating a fraction back and higher. “Well maybe I thought it was a trap, I dunno. Or maybe I just like to get in your head, you know? What unpredictable thing will Phantom do next! Gotta write another 200 equations about ghost theory to figure that one out, Dr. Fenton.”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you not want to leave?”

“Oh I wanna leave.”

“Then why aren’t you?”

“We’re having a conversation. That’d be rude.”

“Will you leave as soon as I exit the room?”

“Who knows?”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

Maddie stood. She left her chair and the control panel behind. She walked up to the specimen cage instead. It was cubic, a skeleton of metal bar ribbings with a metal mesh that plastered the glass sides like a membrane. The top anchored to the ceiling, the bottom—raised by about a foot—anchored to a pedestal on the floor. Maddie stared through the mesh into Phantom’s eyes.

“Is there anyone who realizes you’re missing?” she asked.

Phantom chewed on the question. “Nah. Well um, trick question, actually. Probably not. Assuming I do this right, then no one has even realized I’m gone.”

“Do what ‘right’?”

“You know that thing about Clockwork I explained?”

“You said he’s the ghost that controls time and reality.”

“Yeah. SUPER powerful.”

“And you said you …were from one of those other realities.”

Phantom nodded. “Maybe I touched some things in Clockwork’s lair I wasn’t actually allowed to touch. Jury’s still out on whether I’m in trouble for that or not. I’ve been a little too ‘stuck in this reality’ to know if Clockwork is pissed. But yeah, I got um, bopped into your reality instead of mine. So technically my reality is lacking me right now, and yeah there’s people there who’d know I’m missing.”

Phantom flipped upside-down, as though laying on his back. He rested his palms beneath his head, elbows out, suspended in an invisible hammock, head tilted far back so that he still stared at Maddie. “Especially since it’s been, what, a month that I’ve been gone?”

“2 weeks.”

“What? No way. I’ve been here absolutely forever it has to have been at least a month.”

“This is day 14 of your observation, Phantom.”

Phantom blew a strand of hair out of his face. “Anyway. Two weeks is still long enough to have a search party out on my butt. But whether or not that’s happened is up to – it’s kind of a Schrodinger thing. Because here’s my strategy. Assuming Clockwork hasn’t banned me from reality-hopping forever, I can just get him to send me back to my own reality at the precise moment in time I vanished. And then bam, no one ever knows I was gone. And it makes no difference whether I do that today, or next week, or next month. So assuming you eventually let me go, then I’m all set there.”

“You say that almost like you don’t care when it happens.”

“I dunno, more like I’m just not losing sleep over it. It’s not like I have a say in the matter. You do. I don’t.”

“Is the time you spend here just meaningless, to you?”

“I wouldn’t say meaningless. I’m still aging goddammit.”

“You’re a ghost.”

“I’m complex.” Phantom flipped right-side-up again. “If I start growing facial hair, send me back. I’m gonna have some awkward questions to answer if I show up again with a ghost beard suddenly.”

“…And what if I never send you back?” Maddie asked, careful with her words. “How does your plan work if you stay here forever? If I destroy you first?”

“Um. …It doesn’t, I guess.” Phantom set a hand to his chin, thinking. “Yeah um, please don’t do that. I don’t wanna worry my whole family like that.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“What part?”

“That you have a family.”

“I mean. I think that came up in Interrogation Session #3. Consult your notes.”

“I just have a hard time believing you.”

“Because I’m a ghost?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a complex ghost.”

“I know. You keep saying that.”

“It’s true.”

Silence filtered in between them.

“…What is your family like, Phantom?”

Phantom stiffened a fraction, his eyes finding Maddie’s and shifting away. “Oh, you know, family.”

“Do they exist here too?”

“Huh?”

“You’re from another reality, at least you’re claiming you are.”

“I gotta be. The me from this reality died 6 months ago, didn’t he?”

“The you from most realities is dead, Phantom. You’re a ghost.”

“A complex ghost.”

“The you from this reality was destroyed 6 months ago.”

“Which you validated with your own sciencey equipment, right? You said so! So you know I’m not lying. Unless you think I recombobulated myself from being a protoplasmic smear on the sidewalk.” Phantom caught himself, registering the flinch in Maddie’s body. He deflated a bit, eyes averted. “S-sorry. Inconsiderate phrasing.”

“Why?” Maddie asked, tone flat, blunt.

Phantom’s eyes shifted back. “Um. Just. You know. That accident was. There were um, you know—”

“Human causalities.”

Phantom squirmed. “We don’t have to talk about that, you know? No one wants to talk about that. Okay as a ghost I guess ‘talking about how I died’ is sort of a bit more normal, but this is weird yeah, ‘talking about how an alternate-me died permanently’? That’s morbid. No one wants to talk about that.”

“Okay then. You can go back to answering my previous question.”

“Um. I forget.”

“Does your family exist in this reality?”

“Um, well who really knows, you know? I had like a grand total of 20 minutes of freedom in this reality before you captured me, so, don’t ask me like I’m any kind of expert about your reality. What’s it matter?”

“I want to know if there’s anyone in this reality who’s mourning you.”

Phantom’s face schismed with surprise. His front dropped, and the first look of genuine emotion sank into his glowing eyes. “Woah… That’s um, weirdly nice, of you, I guess. Why do you… want to know?”

Maddie said nothing.

“I. Um. I think the answer is no? So don’t um. Worry about that. If you were worried? Which is weird. I’m the enemy, aren’t I? Evil spooky ghost to be studied?”

“I’m not so sure what you are…” Maddie answered. “I heard you got destroyed trying to save them.”

“The um… the human casualties?”

“Yes.”

“I said we don’t have to talk about that.”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Do you know who they were?”

“The… casualties?”

“Yes.”

“Come on we’re on a different topic now.”

“Do you know who they were?”

“I don’t—how’m I supposed to know? I don’t know how I died here, you know? You think I’ve got some kind of like… parallel-universe death vision?”

“So you don’t know?”

“N-no.”

“I have a different question, then.”

“Okay, good, because I haven’t been liking these previous ones.”

“Are you staying just to keep me company?”

Phantom faltered. He looked left, then right, hand scratching at his chin. “I’m staying because I’m in a ghost-proof box.”

“It’s not ghost-proof anymore. The shields are down.”

“I feel like you’re circling around some accusation I’m not smart enough to follow. This feels like entrapment.”

“Then I’ll be more direct.”

“Oh no there is an accusation.”

“I think you do know how you were destroyed in this universe, Phantom.” Maddie took a step forward, and she let her left hand touch the glass, eyes focused on her fingers. “I think you know what happened at the Nasty Burger.”

“That’s—um—the human food… consumption… location… that the local human adolescents meet at, yes?”

Maddie looked up, and she locked Phantom with her stare. He squirmed, and he relented.

“I um…” he continued. “I—yeah—yeah, okay? I know about the Nasty Burger accident. It was supposed to happen to me too in my reality but I—Clockwork—stopped it from happening in my reality.” Phantom glanced left, right, as if staring beyond the confines of his cage. “When I first got knocked into this reality, I went to go find the Fenton portal so I could try to refind Clockwork and fix this and… Well it wasn’t there. And I tried to find some people I know and… I checked out the library in case the Fentons just lived somewhere else and. I um. I found the articles.” His eyes focused on hers again. “They all say you were the only survivor, yeah…?”

“I was sick, that day. It was just a cold. My husband Jack went without me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It took my daughter and my son too.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“And it destroyed you.”

Phantom opened his mouth, but no words followed.

Maddie looked up.

“You knew this. You’ve known this ever since I captured you.” Maddie let her hand slide away from the glass. “Did you let me capture you?”

“Why would I let you capture me?”

“Because you feel sorry for me.”

Phantom’s eyes flickered about, unwilling to meet hers. “…Nah. Nah. I don’t—come on ‘sorry’? I’m a ghost you know? Bane of humanity! We’re enemies. You were just too skilled a hunter and you captured me.”

“And yet you won’t leave.”

Phantom lapsed silent.

“I um… I wasn’t happy to read about—to know the, the thing at the Nasty Burger happened here, okay? That’s something that I kinda didn’t want to believe existed in any reality anymore, but I guess… And if you were still alive. I was… maybe just kind of happy to see you? That you were okay. And still hunting. That was kind of, like a small relief.” Phantom glanced away, back again. “I wasn’t evil, you know. In my reality or this one. I care about what happened to the Fentons…”

“You let me capture you. …And you did it because you thought it would be a nice thing for you to do for me.”

“I Just—I thought maybe, um… I mean when you phrase it like that. I mean what else could cheer up renowned ghost hunter Maddie Fenton quite like a ghost subject to study? Me, especially? The ghost boy or public enemy #1 or whatever. I’m fun, aren’t I?”

Silently, Maddie pushed away from Phantom’s cage. She moved to the control panel, stiff movements and numb fingers. She entered the release code into the console, and unslung the key from her neck to twist into the override, and she threw down each successive lever in the row of four lining the top of the mechanisms.

The scrape of glass sliding away sounded behind her. All four walls of Phantom’s enclosure dropped away, metal mesh sliding away piece-meal. Phantom stared at her, blinking, floating in place.

“You’re free to go, Phantom.”

“I—uh—well hang on, I don’t think the Guys In White would be too happy about that. You can’t just let me—”

“Go, Phantom.”

“They could like, fire you.”

“I don’t care about this job.”

“I—come on, you still wanna study me, don’t you? Chat with me? If you feel bad maybe just get me a couch and some video games for my cage then I’ll be—”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Go home to your family.”

The half-hearted smile dropped from Phantom’s face.

“Come on. You can’t just evict me on such short notice. I’m not ready for Clockwork to kick my ass so soon.”

“Go home.”

“I’m not in any rush! I like talking to you. Don’t you—don’t you like talking to me too? In like a scientific way?”

Maddie lowered herself into the chair by the control panel. She leaned forward, arms pooled in her lap, eyes to the floor. “You have a family to get back to, Phantom.”

“It’s—there’s time travel shenanigans! Like I said they don’t even know I’m gone.”

“Every single day, Phantom,” Maddie looked up, eyes stern, “…I wish every single day that my own family would just come back home. I won’t do the same to you. I won’t do the same to your family.”

Phantom said nothing. A somber acceptance sunk into his eyes.

“They’re… alive, you know. In my dimension.”

Maddie dropped her head, and she blinked away the wetness in her eyes.

“I actually… in my dimension I’m kind of closer to the Fentons than I think the, the Phantom in this dimension was. It’s… complex.”

Maddie said nothing. Silence built between them.

“Jazz is um… Jazz is applying for colleges, y-you know. She got in early-acceptance to Yale but um, we all—they all—visited Columbia last month and I think that’s what she wants the most. I can see Jazz in New York City. I think she’d rock it.”

Maddie blinked again. Tears plicked into her lap.

“…Should I stop?”

“Jack… Tell me about Jack.”

“Oh. Yeah he um… big and goofy as ever. He’s got some kind of eight-armed-octogun he’s working on. I know because I was his target practice, involuntarily by the way. He keeps trying to merge “Fenton” and “octopus” together with mixed results. We—Mo-addie—you… are still trying to talk him out of ‘Fentoctopus’.”

Maddie’s ribcage shuddered, a repressed sob, a repressed laugh.

“And Danny?”

“Danny… um… Danny is...” Phantom’s shoulders fell a little bit. He looked away, and then back at Maddie. “He loves you. I know that.”

Maddie blinked, and blinked again, and her eyes wouldn’t clear.

“And are they happy?”

“They’re happy.”

“Am I happy…?”

“You’re…” Phantom’s tail bounced. “You’re happy, I think. I like to think so. I think you’re very happy. You have a great family.”

Maddie nodded.

“Now go.”

“But I still—”

Maddie reached forward, and she grabbed the ecto-gun propped against the control panel. She lifted it into her shoulder, and flicked the safety, and the charge built along the rising whine.

“Go.”

Phantom balked. He blinked. He kicked away from his wall-less cage. “Not forever. I’ll be back. You won’t be alone here forever.”

He was gone.

And Maddie was alone again.

…

Clockwork surveyed the boy in front of him whose head was bowed nearly to the floor, white bangs trailing along cobblestone, hands clasped, apologies repeated, begging case made.

Clockwork ran a hand along his beard, which unfurled, drew back, undid itself with the shifting of his form to a simple child.

“So let’s see. You have the audacity to break my rules andbeg me to meddle on your behalf in the time stream, all in the same breath? Apologies don’t usually come with additional requests for favors.”

“I know,” Danny’s head dipped lower. “You can punish me however you want for touching the restricted timelines but you have to help it, or let me help this one timeline. Please, please just send me back to the Nasty Burger incident so I can save it.”

“It’s already been saved.”

Danny faltered. He looked up.

“You died at the Nasty Burger incident that night,” Clockwork elaborated, form shifting older. “There is no you to ruin that future. That timeline is safe. It’s a very lucky timeline.”

Danny blinked. “N-no. No that’s not what I mean. Save it like you saved my timeline.”

“That did happen. You’re describing your own timeline.”

“I mean do it to THAT one.”

“You are misunderstanding timelines.”

Danny lapsed silent. Worry bled into his eyes, and Clockwork sighed.

“There is no undoing timelines, Danny. There is only forking them by meddling in the stream. All futures and pasts you witness exist, and do exist, and continue to exist,” Clockwork paused, “with the exception of realities I needed to cull, to prevent utter catastrophe.” His gaze fixed on Danny. “The futures that your evil self destroyed, I did have to cull. And culling a reality is not to be done lightly.”

Clockwork motioned with his staff. “There were a handful of surviving realities that I was able to save. That room you meddled in without my permission—they contain the realities off the main track where, for one reason or another, something else succeeded at destroying your future self. …Your own deaths, in fact. In every one of those realities, Danny, you are dead.”

“I don’t…” Danny shook his head. “So then just tell me how to save that one I was in, okay?”

“Oh, that’s easy.”

“How?”

“You don’t.”

Danny said nothing. Clockwork shifted young.

“You can let it live on in that room, or you could ask me to cull it, Danny. You could ask me to cull every reality in that room, so that the main branch, the one you’re from, is the only reality in existence. So you never have to worry about any existence where your family is unhappy. And it will be that way until you, or I, or someone else, meddles with the timestreams again, and more splits occur.”

Still, Danny said nothing. Clockwork continued.

“Sometimes, a mass culling of realities is healthy for the tree of time, like pruning a plant down to its stalk to survive an unforgiving winter, or a terrible disease. But I did that, just recently, to save all of time from the blight of your future self. It would feel cruel to snip off the first buds that have come after the frost.”

Danny lowered himself to the floor.

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Just. I have a different question then.” He looked up, a young devastation wet in his eyes. “Can I still go back and visit that reality, sometimes?”

“No. I cannot give you permission to do that.”

“Please!”

Clockwork spun his staff. A portal swirled into being in the space between him and Danny. Washes of color formed patterns, shapes, objects, images. Like a mirror, it reflected Clockwork’s lair beyond its shimmering surface.

“This is a portal back into your own reality. It is set to the location and the time that you vanished. Go there, and leave through the Fenton portal, and nothing will be amiss.”

“No. No no I won’t. Clockwork you have to let me—”

“I am doing you a favor, Danny, getting you home after you caused more trouble. Do not make further demands of me.” Clockwork curled forward, old, sallow skin sagging, and he turned his back to Danny.

“You have to give me permission—”

“I am the only one who has permission to meddle in realities, Danny. This is an absolute.” Clockwork glanced over his shoulder. “And because this is an absolute, I have no reason to have a lock on the room housing those budding other realities.”

Danny blinked.

“I wonder if anyone might break my rules anyway. I wonder if anyone might be nosy, and enter that room anyway, and water the plants in that greenhouse without my permission.” Clockwork stared forward again.

“Clockwork…”

“Luckily I am the master of all time. I would be able to see this coming. And maybe plan for it. If ever such a person would come into my lair, and meddle in my timelines, and try to spread a bit of his own kindness to the realities he couldn’t quite save, I would be fully prepared to stop him.” Clockwork spoke into the green abyss beyond him. “Unless, maybe, I were to accidentally have my back turned.”

Silence trailed after Clockwork’s words. He kept his back to Danny, staring into the abyss of swirling green ether beyond.

“…Thank you,” Danny answered, quietly. “I’ll be back.”

“I imagine you will. Those realities may get lonely without you.”

When Clockwork glanced back over his shoulder, both Danny and the portal were gone.

#Danny Phantom #dp #dp fanfiction #me: -writes any kind of interaction between Maddie and Phantom where Maddie has captured Phantom- #me: 'haha sick Phantom of Truth reference' #ANYWAY i got really attached to a terrible what-if #please enjoy

[lovelycleon]

So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

#cleon #this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅 #I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times #I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again #leon kennedy #claire redfield #resident evil infinite darkness #leon x claire #claire x leon

[kitsu-katsu]

Wilbur’s character traits that many forget or ignore in their “hot takes”:

So, this post is made to compile a list of things important to Wilbur’s character that many forget, remain ignorant to or ignore when making posts, writing fics, theorizing or a long list of etc in fandom activity.

I will provide quotes to every point I can, at the very least I will provide arguments for every point if just a quote doesn’t cut it.

(Quotes from @kateis-cakeis, go to his blog, he’s a legend)

Actual post under the cut

-Wilbur cares. A LOT.

He considered giving up on L’manburg to spare bloodshed, which is something most of the fandom forgets:

“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)

“Tommy, we need you alive. Tommy, this isn’t worth it. Tommy, your life is worth more than the revolution.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 34:57:, 2nd Aug)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want it back.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:24, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

Him saying that he didn’t care if people got hurt during Pogtopia? That was a lie, something said out of impulsiveness, and was then contradicted by his moment of clarity and him running to sacrifice himself in Niki’s place

“We blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come. I want no survivors. God help whoever’s caught in the fucking crossfire.” - (Wilbur’s video, Am I The Villain?: 17:52)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want. We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them. We can rig this festival with TNT. We can kill them all, Tommy. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“Just, if you’re gonna kill anyone else, kill me. Don’t kill anyone else here.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:10:53, 16th Oct)

“You sounded like you were gonna murder another person. You sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:12:34, 16th Oct)

“Oh, yes, sorry, Niki, you missed that part. I was gonna blow up Manberg, I was gonna completely destroy it in a huge fireball. Look, Niki, come to Pogtopia, you’re safer here. You’re not gonna be hurt by anyone.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

He wanted to make sure that Niki was ok when they couldn’t quite take her in yet:

“We’re in too much of a hot position right now to take in everyone from every sort of like person we need into our new like cave, so you’re gonna have to hold out in Manberg for a bit longer, is that okay?” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 51:15, 23rd Sep)

He always wanted Tubbo to stay safe:

“Don’t, don’t hold, don’t hold Tubbo accountable, Tommy. He doesn’t know. He just wants to survive.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 31:57, 22nd Sep)

“And whilst I’m not entirely trustful of Tubbo, I still don’t want to see him getting hurt by Schlatt. So, as long as Schlatt’s being nice to him, then I’m gonna keep my cool.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 37:21, 23rd Sep)

“We don’t hate Tubbo! He’s a spy! It’s fine.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:19:24, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you don’t deserve this fate. You don’t deserve the fate I’m gonna befall everyone here.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:17, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, look, I’m saying- you don’t deserve to- You don’t deserve to meet the same fate as everyone else here, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 1:39, 13th Oct)

“Techno’s on our side, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:03:36, 16th Oct)

“He fucking killed Tubbo, he killed Tubbo. He fucking killed Tubbo.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:08, 16th Oct)

“You actually murdered Tubbo…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:09:40, 16th Oct)

“What do you mean you’re on our side, you just murdered Tubbo in front of everyone!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:08, 16th Oct)

He always cared about Tommy but expressed worry about his recklessness hurting them all or just Tommy himself one day:

“Tommy, you’ve learnt from me for so long now. You’ve taken everything I’ve taught you, you’ve watched me debate countless times, you’ve watched me write our declaration of independence, you’ve watched me write our manifesto. Tommy, I believe you will have my beliefs and you’ll be able to voice them properly. But, Tommy, I’m worried that your fire, the fire in your heart will overtake you.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 56:39, 8th Sep)

“Wait, Tommy, you’re not actually burning down the forest, that’s literally- That was the one thing Schlatt put on the book he was gonna do. … That’s literally the thing we’re fighting against, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:04:15, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, if you don’t fix the mistake you’ve made here, I don’t know if you’re the right fit for Pogtopia. You’re already aligning yourself with the enemy.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:06:48, 23rd Sep)

“You’re proving yourself to be too much of a loose cannon, Tommy. I literally can’t- I can’t- Look, there is a reason why you are not the president and never will be.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 05:36)

“Tommy, Tommy, careless talk costs lives, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 53:46, 8th Oct)

“Remember when we started L’Manberg, I was pretty sure that was, you know. You are a pretty short-tempted, short-fused kind of an aggressive guy, Tommy. I’m surprised you managed to get this far without killing him, you know?” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:28:07, 20th Jan)

“Tommy, you– You can never quite take things as they come, can you? You always gotta ask questions, man. Just, just. Come on, come on, let’s see a smile. Let’s see a smile, Tommy. Come on. Come on, cheer up. Look, you win. Come on. Why you gotta look so sad about everything all the time, man? Turn that frown upside down.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:54, 20th Jan)

“I’m proud of you, Tommy. I’m proud of you.” (Alivebur)

“See you soon, Wilbur.” (Tommy)

“See you soon.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:34:31, 20th Jan)

He made sure that Tommy wouldn’t be seen as complicit in the TNT plot:

“Look, Tommy, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be absolutely wonderful. I know you still don’t agree with it, but like, man, today, let’s just be friends. Let’s be friends today, man. Even if you disagree with me fundamentally, I think after you see how much it puts us in the advantage…” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 9:28, 16th Oct)

“It’s… Tommy, you’re my friend today, okay? You can have your grievances with me later, but today, you’re my friend, you’re my ally. Just stick with me, just get ready. You’re not an accomplice here, you’re just a viewer, you’re a- you watch- You’re a witness! Witness! That’s the word I was looking for. You’re a witness, Tommy, alright.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:24, 16th Oct)

“You don’t have to worry, you know, when it comes to the tribunal, when it comes to the Geneva Conventions, you’re in the clear, Tommy, you were just there, you know. Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

We also can see some good old Ghostbur caring about Tommy and Tubbo as well:

“Will you still look after me if im alone?” (Tommy)

“I don’t really know why that would change.” (Ghostbur)

- (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:28:44, 3rd Dec)

“So why don’t I pretend- Why don’t we pretend I’m Alivebur?! You can pretend I’m alive still. … And then we can go and make a new nation.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:31:38, 3rd Dec)

“I will follow you, whatever you think we should do. … So, I’ll follow you, wherever you think we should go.” - (Tommy’s Streaming before Exile Day: 1:32:18, 3rd Dec)

You want something more recent about him caring about Tommy? There’s plenty in recent streams too:

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Will, this is so cool!” (Tommy)

“Tommy, shut up! I mean, Tommy, come over here. Tommy, come over here, come over here, man. It’s cool, it’s cool, it’s cool. Sorry, I, I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:08, 31st May)

"I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“Remember the pit, Tommy? Remember what happened in the pit. Don’t. Don’t trust people who would have fought you in the pit.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:59, 31st May)

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy. I see you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:44, 31st May)

“I just don’t want him to hurt you, I just don’t want him to hurt you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 48:55, 31st May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“Get out of the way. Stand back, stand back. I don’t- I’m not too, like, fond of this. … I’ll go first, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 53:56, 31st May)

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it.” (Tommy)

“No, no! Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, get down. Tommy, get down off the railings. Tommy, get off the railings, man. I-” (Alivebur)

– (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 57:50, 31st May)

“Is there a three-person chair? I don’t want Tommy to be, uh.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 58:18, 31st May)

“Tommy, I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’ve always got you.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 59:19, 31st May)

“I’m excited to show Tommy. What’s you opinion on Tommy?”

“Oh he’s great, Tommy’s awesome.”

“I agree, I agree.”

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 51:17, 25th July)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Tommy’s all of our muse I’d say.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:02, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I mean, Tommy’s great and all and he’s here, but I, I feel like, you know, I don’t want to, I don’t want to string him along too much.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:36, 3rd Aug)

You want some recent caring about Tubbo too? Well, here you go:

“Dude, it’s- I don’t even know what to say to you, man. It’s like looking into a little mirror. Look, you’re even wearing my suit still.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:08, 3rd Aug)

“Holy crap, I saw you briefly, man, when I was resurrected. I remember you super, super briefly. But this is the first time we’ve actually gotten to speak. Okay, I will admit, I was a little bit overwhelmed during that whole thing, you know, it was a bit, it was a bit, you know, I was running across the glass- which thank god its gone, like Jesus, like, this is far more apt.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 14:45, 3rd Aug)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo. I have… a little thing going. It’s not big, it’s nothing much yet! You know, it’s just- It’s not a big deal! You know? It’s, uh, it’s a little burger van at the moment, but I’ve got big plans, big plans for it. Uh, Tubbo, it’s called Paradise. Would you like to come join me, in Paradise, literally?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:00, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not just trying to say this- I’ve got your forgiveness and I know I need to earn your trust, but, man, I just want to let you know I- You’re so strong, man, genuinely.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:41, 3rd Aug)

“Just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have these memories, you have these nightmares, and you still found it in your heart to forgive me that’s- You’re a fucking champion, man, you’re a hero.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:54, 3rd Aug)

“No, no, man, man, no worries. Look at me, bro. Look at me, bro. Bro, chin up! Look. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Tommy gave this to me, man. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot. Lucky Rabbit’s Foot, man, chin up.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 24:34, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah. Don’t pressure him. He doesn’t have to join. He just needs to come and- I just want him to come and enjoy some of our patented burgers! ” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 30:52, 3rd Aug)

-He truthfully believed in “words over weapons” always

“We don’t win wars with battles and with armour. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 4:54, 29th July)

“Look, Dream isn’t our enemy, he’s our neighbour. But, we are seceding from his tyrannical rule.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 57:34, 29th July)

“The only thing I ask is that you don’t touch the wildlife. The trees are very important to us here.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:00:08, 29th July)

“I’m not a fighter, I’m a writer.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:48:31, 29th July)

“Dream, we may have had our differences, but I think I can, I think I can learn to live side by side with you in this server.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 51:16, 2nd Aug)

“Fighting is not necessary right now, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 43:42, 22nd Sep)

“Tommy, control yourself. Tommy, control yourself, it’s not worth it. Tommy, do not take your shot! He disrespected me, yes! But we’ve talked about this, Tommy…!” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:36, 23rd Sep)

“I see you’ve abandoned my no armour policy since I’ve been gone.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 19:31, 5th May)

He only gave into using the weapons or armour when he felt cornered:

“I thought we used our words!” (Eret)

“Not in this case. They’ve tried to burn down our forest!” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:37:44, 29th July)

“Tommy, for the first time in my life, I’ve equipped armour, in this server. This is the first time I’ve worn armour on this server ever.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 33:50, 22nd Sep)

Or in the case of his speech to Quackity, when the entire world seemed to reflect, after all the wars, that his ideology of pacifism wasn’t the correct one (note how he seems to be talking as if trying to convince himself as well as talking from experience):

“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)

“If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:59, 12th Apr)

“And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:19, 12th Apr)

“Even if everyone has this good side that you’re talking about, then anyone who wants to prove it, has to show their dark side first. You’re going to have to kill, you’re going to have to torture, you’re going to have to maim.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:34, 12th Apr)

Ghostbur showcases this belief as well when he aquestions what’s happening to the people of L’Manburg and its ideals:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

-The final control room kickstarted his paranoia and left a permanent mark on him:

“Where are you taking me? This is- I’ve got bad memories down here, you’re gonna invoke my fight or flight reflex if you take me down here.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 49:48, 2nd Aug)

“Eret, I’m not going with you. I have, I have values still.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“No, no. Yeah, we know we’ve been fucking betrayed. Of all the people. Get out.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:50, 22nd Sep)

“Eret, I’m sorry, I know you mean well but, I- I’ve- I’ve gotta decide who I can trust right now and I’m afraid you’re not first on my list.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you, Eret. Thank you.”

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 27:09, 22nd Sep)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? Eret especially, he is the most clear, the most clear cut traitor of them all. He was a traitor from the very get go. I have no, I have no remorse offing Eret.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

As a bonus, consider every time Ghostbur talked about knowing Eret was “a wrongin” or bad because they cursed them out in the anthem, something that happened because of the betrayal:

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, kinda went down a… different path, unfortunately.” (Philza)

“Yeah, ‘cause of Eret”

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

-He always cared about preserving history, whether it was on his favour or not

“Yeah, it’s still a part of history. You don’t tear down history when it’s- even- just ‘cause you don’t agree with it.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 50:56, 2nd Aug)

This habit continues through Ghostbur and his sewer library where he kept all important books and memoirs:

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“So you make me suffer? I- I don’t know what Alivebur did, and I’m really trying to remember. But I know what I did, and I just wrote books. I built- Remember the lanterns we used to make? I built them. I- I built a house for people- I- I set up this area- I built this town just like I built Logstedshire, and I watched them both blow up. And I didn’t- I- I didn’t- I didn’t hurt anyone, and yet I’m the one who pays. Tommy didn’t even live here, Tommy didn’t have a house here. I sowed the seeds of peace, and yet I’m the one who pays for war.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:47, 6th Jan)

“I’ve read his memoirs, Ranboo. They’re all gone now, they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when my library was destroyed. But! I’ve read his memoirs, and he was pretty okay, most of the time, he seemed. And people liked him. But then, he lost this election, and you know the story, everyone knows the story.” - (Ranboo’s Preparation: 12:11, 14th Mar)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

-He loved and loves Fundy, he didn’t disown him

“I don’t know, man. I don’t know, I think you’d be getting into a fight you wouldn’t wanna start with me. You’ve only been on the positive side of me, you’ve only seen my nice side, because, you know, being my son you get special… You know, you won’t ever see me going against you.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:45:40, 4th Sep)

“F- Fundy. I- I’ve got- I’ve got- I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I think you’re just gonna, you’re just gonna get hurt.” - (Wilbur’s Let’s Capture and Farm Cute Animals to Make Money in Ooblets: 1:46:11, 4th Sep)

“Fundy, when I look at you, I can see there’s some stuff going inside right now and you need some help.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 26:12, 8th Sep)

“Wait, look who’s coming, look’s who coming, my son, my boy.” (Alivebur)

“Your ex-son.” (Tommy)

“Well I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but he’s just…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:04, 20th Sep)

“He’s really upsetting me. He’s, look, he’s supposed to be my son.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:36, 20th Sep)

“It’s really sad, like I- Honestly I- When he turned around to me and he said he wasn’t gonna vote for me, and then he decided he was gonna vote for the opposition, and then he decided he was gonna run against me. That was- One of those was the straw that broke my back, I’m not sure which one, I’m still contemplating which one.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 10:52, 20th Sep)

“I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?!” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 11:17, 20th Sep)

“Yeah, yeah, go on, son! Just- Just- Yeah- POG2020 wants to let the furry talk. … Yeah, everyone be really nice to Fundy. … Look, he’s got dressed up in a little suit and I’m very proud of him.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 35:38, 20th Sep)

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:41 22nd Sep)

“Don’t give him promotions he’s too young, he doesn’t understand. He needs to learn more. No, he needs to learn more, I should know he’s my son.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 57:57, 23rd Sep)

“Wilbur is just a founder, and I was born here and nothing else. That’s literally everything there is to it.” (Fundy)

“But you know that’s not…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 58:20, 23rd Sep)

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Fundy. I don’t know who you are anymore…” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:08, 23rd Sep)

“Fundy, Fundy is very clearly on Schlatt’s side, look- Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock! You know? And hearing what he said about L’Manberg and stuff is just… And when I heard him say that he had no care for me, I believe that. I think he’s so happy that he’s finally been given maturity in L’Manberg, you know. Like, Schlatt’s giving him the maturity he’s been craving, you know. And that’s cool. That’s fine. You know? I have no issue with that, he can do what he wants.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:44:10, 8th Oct)

Want Ghostbur as well? You have it, even when he forgot about Fundy disowning him, couldn’t really make up for Alivebur’s failings because he didn’t remember and when Fundy was being adopted in front of him, he showed he cared:

“Fundy needs a dad. Fundy needs a dad. For sure. And I need to make up for what I did. I’ve got to make up for what I did.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 2:03:04, 24th Nov)

“Last time I spoke to Fundy was… erm. When I announced I was running for President, and you said that you were also gonna run. That was the last time I remember.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:00:43, 27th Nov)

“He’s very young, he’s only like fourteen. He’s going through some times, he just needs time on his own sometimes.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:12, 27th Nov)

“Phil, do you know how old Fundy is? I think he was very young when I remember, but I don’t know if he’s gotten older since.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:23, 27th Nov)

“And I, I, I don’t know why your stream title is ‘being adopted’ but I don’t- I, I, I hope- I don’t know what that’s about. But I’m sure- I- I’m sure it’ll make sense and I’m sure it’s nothing bad and everything’s happy! Everything’s fine!” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:08:29, 27th Nov)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

-Paranoia and distrustfulness are integral to his character

“You say, you say everyone has a good side, Quackity. And you’re right, you’re right, everyone has a good side, but that good side is only there to help themselves.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:32, 12th Apr)

“I think, I think Tubbo might be one of the few people we can trust here. I don’t think I can trust Technoblade, I definitely can’t trust Fundy. I can’t trust Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold tore down the walls. I guess Tubbo is doing his job right now, I guess he’s out looking for us.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 42:10, 22nd Sep)

“Look, I think, from what I can gather, there is only two people we can trust on the server right now. That’s Tubbo, and that’s Niki. Seem to be the only people who I can trust right now, but I’m still not willing to open up to them yet. It’s gonna take me a long time.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 44:18, 22nd Sep)

“Tubbo’s one of the few people I trust, Technoblade. Like, I’m still figuring you out right now, but, at the moment, Tubbo seems to be, you know, pretty on the ball. He seems pretty keen on the whole spying thing.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:16, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, ignore what I just said, I don’t trust you. You have to prove yourself to me.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 12:33, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo said that he was wearing the suit as a disguise, right? Turns out that’s not true, turns out it’s a dress code. So, Tubbo lied to me, which is not the best start for our, you know, our political relationship.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 36:52, 23rd Sep)

“He’s a man who I thought really cared about his nation. But you know, I’ve been wrong before.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:10:00, 23rd Sep)

“Tubbo, you’re… See, with Technoblade, right, I have no doubt that Technoblade is on my side, right. ‘Cause with Technoblade, right, I know he just wants blood, and he wants war, right. That’s how Technoblade works, you know. He just wants to fight, and he wants to kill bad guys, right. Yeah, yeah, look at him, he’s a little libertarian, little anarchist, right. So here’s what I’m saying, right. You, however, I can’t tell whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt to help spy, or whether you’re cosying up to Schlatt because you quite like how he treats you.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:09, 23rd Sep)

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“That guy Tubbo? You know? We love Tubbo… but he’s not on our side, is he? Let’s be honest. We act like he is, like, everyone’s always how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:57, 8th Oct)

“Everyone’s always saying how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt. No one’s against Schlatt. Everyone’s pulling the biggest ruse on us. Literally, they’ve got us all by the fucking scruff of our necks.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 17:59)

“Tubbo’s like, ‘I’ll be your spy!’. And then we’ve got like Fundy who’s like saying to everyone’s twitch chats that he’s gonna revolt against us. And you’ve got Eret giving us fucking potatoes, that say fucking ‘I’m gonna be friends with you’. It’s bullshit! It’s all bullshit!” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:09)

“‘Cause Schlatt knows, he’s a smart man, he knows that if we fight him, even if we beat him, we’ve lost. If he fights us and kills us, we’ve lost. Tommy, there’s no in-between, he knows we’ve lost.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:37, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, literally have you not noticed? Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo?! He’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises we’re not in the lead anymore!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:16:15, 8th Oct)

[About Tubbo’s speech for Manberg] “That’s not something a, that’s not something a traitor would do, is it? That’s not- We’re not- You’re not gonna- I’m- I- Ah- I’m just- I was just wondering ‘cause writing a speech is quite a har-” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:19:27, 8th Oct)

“And you know what? It’s not over yet, Tubbo. It’ll never be over. … Tubbo, it’s never gonna be over. We’re here forever.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:24, 13th Oct)

“Tubbo, have you not realised? The one fear I had, the one fear I had when taking over L'Manberg, was the idea that the act of war and the act of tyranny that I was bestowing onto the Dream SMP would just start an endless cycle of vengeance and death.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 3:36, 13th Oct)

“I don’t think everyone will be even once Schlatt’s out of the picture. People will never be even. People will never be even, dude. It’s gonna go on forever. This entire thing is a cycle. Up and down, up and down, just constant.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 4:00, 13th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“Yes, yes, by literally every stretch of the world. If we try and fight Schlatt, hand to hand, one on one, we lose! Even if we kill him we lose! Because we’ve fought back and gained power. Do you know what I’m doing here, Tommy? I’m creating a power vacuum! I’m creating a power vacuum. You know who can fill it, Tommy? Tommy, I know you’re gonna like this one, you could fill it, Tommy. You could fill that power vacuum that I’m gonna create. Anyone could! When I destroy this, there’s a massive vacuum and people are just waiting for the next powerful person.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:24, 16th Oct)

“They mean nothing to me, Tommy. None of them do. We can kill them all. Seriously, it doesn’t matter, they don’t- They’re not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:24, 16th Oct)

“Oh Tubbo’s, Tubbo’s clearly- Have you heard the way he talks to me? He talks to me like how he talks to Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:36, 16th Oct)

“You’re just a yes man, aren’t you? This isn’t the first time Tubbo’s done this man.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 40:51, 16th Oct)

“Tubbo organised the event, bro. I’m telling you, man, he’s not on our side.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 46:08, 16th Oct)

“Do you know why this is magnificent, Tommy? Because now it’s exactly what I said, no one’s on our side, Tommy. Everyone’s just listening to whoever’s got the most power. No one cares. No one has any honour here. Everyone’s just doing as they’re told. Tommy, this is perfect. Oh shut up, Technoblade, you’re in it… as well.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:27, 16th Oct)

“This isn’t about me, this is about blowing up Manberg, this is about just finishing it. We’ve got this! Look, Tommy, what else do I need to convince you? The festival was a front.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:15:47, 16th Oct)

“Because no one’s actually caring about honour, everyone just wants to commit chaos.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:15, 16th Oct)

“It’s just as exactly as I predicted- It’s as exactly as I predicted, it’s exactly as I predicted. This is just all a travesty.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“But I’m not the one who was a traitor so, I should be the one deciding. Don’t get me wrong, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine that you’re a traitor, I like it, I like it, it’s cool- Why did you do it?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:23:39, 16th Oct)

“See the thing is, Technoblade, like, I know this probably seems very confusing but like I- I don’t care if you’re not on our side or whatever, as long as you’re willing to help me do chaos. As long as you’re willing to help me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:06, 16th Oct)

“After last night’s catastrophe- I mean Schlatt won, how awful is that? Literally we let Schlatt win? Schlatt came away yesterday with a victory for Manberg. Holy shit, no, not again. I don’t think we should let that happen again, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:03, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, right, what did I do wrong? Okay things that I did wrong: One, I trusted Techno too much, right. I think we can all agree I did that wrong. … He traitored, but you know, it ended up working out well for us ‘cause now we have another boy for chaos. And he’s kinda on my side in this which is good. Number two, I shouldn’t have lost the button. … But don’t worry, ‘cause mans only gone and found it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 5:22, 17th Oct)

“I’m just telling you, you shouldn’t be worried, you shouldn’t be afraid. And you know what? At the end of the day, Tommy, I would say we’ve always got each other, but we don’t, ‘cause if it goes wrong, you’re probably gonna hate me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 3:03)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“He’s– He’s gonna– Tommy, he’s gonna bring Schlatt back as well.” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:53, 20th Jan)

“Ranboo, are you a schmoozer? … A schmoozer, are you schmoozing everyone? Are you greasing everyone up?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 35:38, 5th May)

“He’s harmless now, he’s harmless now, give him, give him a burger van though, I don’t know, he might spatula me, Phil. Could you imagine me, look at me, imagine me with a spatula through my skull.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 14:32, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

“I think, I think you might be a bit braver than me, in showing your true colours. I feel like with you, Ranboo, I never have to be guessing your next move, I never have to be guessing your hand, you know? I feel like life dealt us the same cards, and the difference is that you build your trust by showing people your cards, while I keep them close to my chest. And I feel like that might be the big difference.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:22, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“In the case of an emergency, right? When we are head to head, you know? … When we are head to head with Tubbo, and Big Q, and stuff, and you know, it’s all- And maybe shit’s going a bit- hitting the fan, you know? I need to know that we have a saviour card to save the innocent people in this city. You know like Tubbo and, and Fundy. I need to know we can save the innocent people.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:53, 4th Aug)

“In most cases, yeah. 100%. 100% most of the time, maybe it won’t happen. But, if we need to protect the innocent people, that’s what it’s for. You wanna protect like Fundy, you wanna protect Slimecicle, Tubbo? Yeah. So that’s- that’s what it’s for.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 33:26, 4th Aug)

“I’ll make it very, very safe, yeah.” (Ranboo)

“Promise?” (Alivebur)

“Promise, yeah.”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:10, 4th Aug)

“And you’re gonna tell me where you put the button? And you’re gonna tell me where everything’s set up?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 34:14, 4th Aug)

-Self-loathing and self-sabotage are also an integral part of his character

“Tommy, I’ve got a question for you, right. Because this festival, this is a good idea, this doesn’t seem like a bad like, this doesn’t seem evil. You know? This seems like a nice friendly thing Schlatt’s doing. Tommy, are we the bad guys?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:14, 8th Oct)

“It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 15:49)

“Tommy, am I, am I a bad, am I a villain of this story. Am I the villain in your history?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:59, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, let’s be villains.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:11:17, 8th Oct)

“How much would you say me and Tommy are kind of the bad guys here? We… we… uh… we…” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:15, 8th Oct)

“We fought against people, we killed people to get leadership of this country, we didn’t really do much in our leadership, and then when we were voted out, we’re now trying to fight our way back in. It doesn’t f- It feels like we might- I don’t know, what do you think?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:32:28, 8th Oct)

“Thing is, Tommy, Tommy, what you’re not understanding is, Dream only gave you that gear so that you could cause this conflict. You see? That’s what this is all about. Dream doesn’t want us to win, Dream just wants both Pogtopia and Manberg to be weak! That’s it!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:03, 8th Oct)

“And, Dream, Dream, I’m not, I’m not scolding you on this, that’s smart. You’re a smart guy. I’ve seen your two thousand IQ plays. Right. Nothing can get past you, right.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:16, 8th Oct)

“So, I’m here to help you. I’m here to weaken both of us, so much. Manberg and Pogtopia will be nothing more.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:34:25, 8th Oct)

“We are the villains, Tommy! We didn’t win the election and we’re trying to fight for it back! Look how nice this place looks under Schlatt, look how lovely Schlatt has made this place.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 15:57, 16th Oct)

“Me, however, I’ll take the fall, I’ll take the fall, Tommy. I’m taking off this fucking helmet. Look, I’ll take the fall, Tommy, alright. You just, you just focus on, just, you know, just enjoy the time.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

“I know we can, but we’ll be the bad guys, if we take him down we’ll be the bad guys…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 31:10, 17th Oct)

“Oh, I don’t have a home, let’s be honest.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:04, 6th Nov)

“I’m always weary, I don’t sleep.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 45:37, 6th Nov)

“There was a traitor. I don’t know what Dream was talking about, there was a traitor. It’s me and Techno. And now the server is going to go into ruin, thanks to us.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:18:36, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“My destructive bounds. My destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Tommy, my destructiveness knows no bounds. Someone’s gotta stop me, someone’s gotta stop me, Tommy.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 13:05, 31st May)

“The thing is with this book, Tommy, is that it’s, it’s a… It’s a call from an old friend, who I haven’t seen in a long, long time. And I, you know, I feel like when we left off, we left off on a I assume a bad impression.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 17:52, 31st May)

“Every person we seem to have spoken to, aside from say, I don’t know… Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold, has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too. And you actually. Come to think of it, the three people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you, and Phil, have been the nicest to me, you know. That might be a coincidence, who knows.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 19:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“I don’t know if they actually needed me, but I was there.” (Ranboo)

“I know that feel.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 25:15, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I, Can I be real with you? Sorry, Ranboo, you really got me with that, fucking hell.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:24, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

Look at that, Ghostbur can do self-loathing times two by hating both himself as a ghost AND Alivebur:

“Well, he’s dead now, so let’s not talk about him.” - (Said by Ghostbur about Alivebur)

“It’s not me, Tubbo, you know that’s not me, I’m Ghostbur. I am different from regular one. He was a bad man, I’m not him.” - (Said by Ghostbur, likely on Tubbo’s stream from the 19th Nov that I can no longer find)

“Everyone likes me more now that I’m dead, Tubbo, to be honest with you. I’m having a much better time. Everyone prefers it when I’m dead. So, I’m perfectly happy being dead.” - (Tubbo’s President Things: 1:34.39, 19th Nov)

“Phil, how bad was I, Phil? Phil, how awful of a person was I?” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:59:13, 24th Nov)

“I’m not him, Tubbo. I’m not… I’m not Wilbur.” - (Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 31:27, 7th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“That’s how you keep yourself sane. Yeah, that’s how I do it. When people say to me ‘Hey, Will, do you remember killing all your friends?’, I say ‘I didn’t do that, halalala’” (Tommy’s Alone?: 17:05, 19th Dec).

“Hey, Tommy, I was having a think about it, and I don’t think I want people to bring me back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:38, 19th Dec)

“I don’t know, I don’t think I want to be brought back to life.” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 47:52, 19th Dec)

“No, I just- I don’t know. I think I don’t wanna- People prefer Ghostbur. Dream likes Ghostbur!” - (Tommy’s Alone?: 48:34, 19th Dec)

“I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 18:01, 6th Jan)

“I take it back, Tommy. Tommy, I take it back. I’m burning in the rain right now, and I just- Tommy, I want you to bring me back to life.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 20:07, 6th Jan)

“Tommy, I know- I know I said- Tommy, I know how I said I didn’t want- I didn’t want to be brought back to life because I didn’t want to- Because that would mean me as Ghostbur would stop existing. But I want- I want you to bring me back to life. I don’t want to be Ghostbur anymore.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 22:12, 6th Jan)

“Maybe everyone will like Alivebur again.” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 35:37, 6th Jan)

“Did Fundy like Alivebur?” (Ghostbur)

“He loved you.” (Eret)

“Oh! Well then there we go, that’s a good plan then!” (Ghostbur)

- (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 44:07, 6th Jan)

“I need to be killed. I-” (Ghostbur)

“There’s a fox out there who needs a father” (Eret)

“And there’s a world out there that needs a ruler. When I look at this crater I don’t- I don’t see- I don’t see somewhere that Ghostbur made better. I see somewhere that- that- that is owned by weakness. Eret, I’m not a strong man, I’m not a strong man.” (Ghostbur)

“You were a strong man.” (Eret)

Yeah, but I’m not a strong ghost. And I- This world needs strength right now, and I- It’s one of those things where I don’t want- I want to- Do it, Phil! Phil, do it!” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 36:37, 10th Jan)

“And I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be back, and the world can be strong again.” - (Philza’s trying to revive my son LOL: 37:31, 10th Jan)

-He’s been depressed since he became president

He doesn’t want to talk to people as a person during the election campaigns because the role of President was such a big thing to carry:

“Can I… talk to you like off the books and just… Can I talk to you as a person? Forget- forget the elections, forget the… the politics, forget we are politicians right now. I wanna talk to you up close. I wanna talk to you as a person.” (Quackity)

“Um… I mean I appreciate it- no. The election’s in twelve days” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:23, 12th Apr)

He mentions being “a distant ruler” and regrets it:

“I mean, look, Tubbo, I’ll be the first one to say I didn’t always treat you the best on L’Manberg. And I know I didn’t! I was somewhat of a distant ruler, I pretty much only really- … Look, I wasn’t the best ruler, I know I wasn’t. I think I was a good ruler, but I-” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:21:50, 23rd Sep)

Ghostbur confirms that he was depressed:

“I just- I- I just remember I was in power, and I would- when I wasn’t on a stage I would cry a lot, and- and scream into my pillow until I felt better. That’s what I- but I don’t remember why I would do that”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:18, 17th Nov)

“Tubbo I recommend you buy a pillow”

- (Tubbo’s THE GREAT REBUILDING: 2:14:33, 17th Nov)

-He gave up the presidency peacefully and thought it fair if he lost because of the coalition he himself allowed

“Look. I could always push things off as an autocracy, I could always start just making myself the dictator of L’Manberg. But I don’t want to do that.” - (Wilbur’s is about to change forever: 29:24, 3rd Sep)

“What happens if we lose the nation, Wilbur?” (Tommy)

“Well, then whoever wins takes over, w- what do you mean?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s vod jschlatt gets unbanned from the Dream SMP: 1:45:50, 20th Sep)

“Tommy, we’re citizens tonight. Just listen to Schlatt.” (Wilbur’s vid How Schlatt stole the Election of the Dream SMP: 7:58)

“I called for this democratic process, and now he’s ousted me from my government. This- I’m fucking speechless, I’m speechless.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 26:12, 22nd Sep)

“We held this election, and by god am I not gonna upset democracy just so that I can keep hold of- This is what the people want, we shall give the people what they want- But Tommy, I am not gonna die with you out here. We need to stay alive. That would be enough.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 46:06, 22nd Sep)

“‘Cause, I mean, we were the, we just kinda made ourselves the leaders, and then, and now we had a vote, and he won, in a coalition government, which was completely legal, and now we’re trying to overthrow him. It feels like we’re the bad guys, Tommy. This doesn’t feel correct.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:08:34, 8th Oct)

“Tommy, we allowed the coalition. On the day, they said they were gonna make a coalition, and our cockiness, our arrogance got in ahead of us, and we allowed it. We said ‘yes coalition governments are allowed’.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:09:35, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

He was quite literally exiled and chased out of his nation when he gave up the presidency fairly and died in the process while people cheered in the background (and he still hold some resentment for it, which is completely fair if anything):

“Who ran against you! Who laughed as we were exiled! Who cheered as we were thrown out of our nation, that we built, WE BUILT!” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 46:39, 31st May)

-He hesitated regarding the button tons of times, he also wanted people to stop him, he told his plans to people clearly and tried to be reasoned out of it (the more emotional approaches didn’t quite get through to him)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“Why did you give me a cake of Niki? Why did you give me a cake that Niki made? What are you trying to imply? Are you trying to imply I shouldn’t be doing it because of Niki, huh?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 19:11, 16th Oct)

“I know there’s a lot of people, Tommy! … I’m not telling you where the button is, man. … Tommy, it’s over that hill, it’s over that hill, right there!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 28:30, 16th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“But this is the opportunity- this is the opportunity. If I don’t blow it up now, when am I gonna blow it up?! When am I gonna blow it up, Tommy? But when do- when do we do-” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:30, 16th Oct)

“If I don’t do it now, what happens if this is the only chance I get. Everyone’s in this close situation, I can do some proper damage. Look, this isn’t a- He needs a consequence for his actions, Schlatt does, he can’t just keep being handsome and powerful and strong all the time. He needs, he needs to be put down a peg.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 37:07, 16th Oct)

“I can still call off this whole detonating at the end of the speech, dude. I can call it off.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:24, 16th Oct)

“Should I show you where the TNT’s laced? ‘Cause in a, in a last ditch effort, we may need to destroy it by hand, okay? So, under the chair, where Schlatt sits, there’s about twenty pieces, right? And then going under, under the main area here, following this red line, there is TNT all the way, and then it jut- and then it- … It darts up here, and over to the dance floor, but it doesn’t touch the water.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:29, 16th Oct)

“I have to light it, I’ve got to light it, I’ve got to light it.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:17, 16th Oct)

“Techno, when I set it off next time, you ready to pop some withers in there as well?” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:28:42, 16th Oct)

“I thought today was gonna be my last time here, honestly. I genuinely, I was considering, blowing up L’Manberg, having a big moment where I’m like looking over the rubble, and I’m like ‘I’ve changed as a person’. But like after this, I am just deeper. I wanna do different, more blowing up things.” (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:29:34, 16th Oct)

“We waited too long. I just want chaos. I don’t care about like when we blow everything up, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 7:24, 17th Oct)

“And I thought, what better time of just eradicating the nation and eradicating him than right now. I can finally do what I said I was gonna, you know, that I said I was gonna do.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:00, 17th Oct)

“Tommy, we’ve tried my ideas. I’m willing to listen to you. I’m gonna follow you, Tommy. Whatever you think is gonna be the best way of taking down Schlatt, we’ll do it. We’ve tried my ideas.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 32:01, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“I’ll be back. I’ll be back for this.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:45, 17th Oct)

“You’ve convinced me, I don’t wanna go straight to Plan B, if Plan A fails.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 39:02, 17th Oct)

“I have a lot of TNT ready to go. I can definitely blow up L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 7:40, 6th Nov)

“It’s Plan Bomb, it’s Plan Bomb, we’re doing Plan Bomb, yeah? That’s Plan Bomb.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 19:25, 6th Nov)

“Well, no, but I will though, that’s the- you know- it’s Chekhov’s Gun, we’ve spoken about this.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 27:59, 6th Nov)

“Dream, let’s do this as a gentlemen’s duel then, you know. Instead of doing like a bit of a dirty war that we’re planning at the moment, how about we just do it like gentlemanly? We pick a date, we pick a time, and we have the war, and if it all goes tits up, I blow the shit up.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 42:59, 6th Nov)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“I could be. I mean at the end of the day, my traitoring would be very anticlimactic ‘cause it would just involve me doing the exact thing I’ve said I’m gonna do for the past month. Which is detonate everything.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 53:48, 6th Nov)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

“Look, Tommy, at the end of the day, if this doesn’t go well, I’m gonna blow the place to smithereens. The place will be gone, I’m gonna detonate it and blow it to smithereens, right, if this doesn’t go well. But it will go well…! … ‘Cause it’s literally- there’s no one on Schlatt’s side.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:00, 16th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“I could, I really could, that’s the thing. That’s the bit that I like. It’s the bit that makes me smile the most is the fact that I definitely could.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 26:28, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the trai- Okay. Sure. Um. … I mean, it’s pretty obvious, wasn’t it? I mean- Well, okay, I mean, I guess, that’s… Yeah, we, we won…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:15, 16th Nov)

“I thought I was the traitor… I thought I was the traitor…” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:02:37, 16th Nov)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

He also was completely stopped by Tommy and Quackity just being there and in danger within the explosion room (he only wanted to take himself down with L’Manburg, that TNT originally inside the button room was to take just himself out. His intentions are clear in these quotes, he no longer believes in surviving the explosion):

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

-He really cared and cares about L’manburg, and didn’t wat its ideals twisted to hurt others with

“What is your wildest dream?” (Tommy)

“A nation where we can brew drugs without anyone stopping us.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Wall: 5:26, 29th July)

“No matter what happens, no matter- Even if he comes- Even he destroys the very hot dog van that we live out of. Until the day we stop breathing, that is when L'Manberg has fallen. He can destroy the walls, he can slaughter our friends, our family, but until the day we stop breathing, and the moment that the dream we have of a self-emancipated nation away from Dream SMP falls- is the minute we let go of that dream, that’s when he has won.” - (Tommy’s World At War Vod: 1:16:04)

“Dream. When you imprisoned our men, slayed us, and your men essentially did great wrongs against my people, I let go, I let it slide on the condition that we would have emancipation from you, we’d have our freedom, and we wouldn’t have to reach a point of disagreement that we were reaching.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 24:36, 2nd Aug)

“We don’t wish for bloodshed, we don’t wish for war, we don’t wish to show our power in any way, we just want our freedom, we just want emancipation, independence.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 26:02, 2nd Aug)

“Look, Tommy we’ve always allowed women. Do you remember when we were making the decree it was, it doesn’t matter your sexuality, your gender, your race, you can join L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Niki joins L'Manberg: 18:16, 6th Aug)

“They aren’t old school, these polices were formed from blood not long ago. … With the idea of liberty. … Of course they had to grow from war, we were oppressed! We were an oppressed people, Quackity. I led these people to freedom, and I will keep and uphold the polices which freed us.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 46:55, 8th Sep)

“But what does matter to me, is that the fact that the leader of tyranny, who we fought for independence to get away from, is endorsing my opposition to become head of the very nation we’re trying to escape!” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:17:08, 8th Sep)

“My name’s been through enough. You need to fight for what this country believes in. Ignore what Dream says to me, I can take it.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:18:52, 8th Sep)

“Literally we have the man himself, the man who led a war against our nation, is trying to talk to us like L’Manberg is some kind of nation for the conquering for him. To him, to him, we are just a conquest. We are not- He doesn’t care about our nation, he doesn’t care about us. … Listen, TommyInnit, GeorgeNotFound doesn’t care about us, he doesn’t care about our nation. All GeorgeNotFound cares about is adding another thing to his conquest, and Quackity is enabling this, right.” - (Wilbur’s The Election Campaign: 1:29:26, 8th Sep)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question… um… I guess it’s- just- protection for my people, I mean I-I-I-I just want to see them thrive and I want to see them safe” (Wilbur)

-(Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:03, 12th Apr)

“Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security I’m afraid. I- I completely disagree with everything you’ve said.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:18, 12th Apr)

“I just want you to know, Big Q, that like, you know. I think, although we’ve had our differences and we’ve had our argument and stuff. Although we’ve had our disagreements and we’ve fought and stuff, I think we’re both looking out for the greater good of L’Manberg, you know. Much more than that Coconut2020 or whatever they’re called.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 45:00, 20th Sep)

“I said, the one thing I appreciate about Big Q, right, no matter what he says, right, he cares about L’Manberg, right. He really cares about L’Manberg. Even if his policies are direct opposites of mine, he at least cares about L’Manberg. These people just want power, they just want attention, right? So how about, in the case that Schlatt or Coconut, gets more votes than POG or SWAG, we make the POSWAGs” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:07:38, 20th Sep)

“Coconut is against everything we stand for. They don’t care. They don’t care about L’Manberg, they just care about votes. We care about L’Manberg, and so did SWAG until they-” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:15:58, 20th Sep)

“They’re gonna tear down the walls… … Tommy. They say they’re gonna tear down the walls. They’re gonna open it up to Americans. Our safe space! Our safe space. Remember, remember when we made the park? That was fun. Remember the Camarvan? Remember all the history we’ve had here? They’re gonna tear it down.” - (Wilbur’s Election Night: 1:18:17, 20th Sep)

“This isn’t- This isn’t- I’m not gonna be able to do anything to stop them tearing down the walls. I just need to have one- I’m doing this for principle, I’m doing this for tradition. I need to just have one last look, TommyInnit. I need to look at it one more time before it’s gone.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 38:18, 22nd Sep)

“No, I need to- I need to watch this, I need to- This was- This is a huge part of my- I need to, I need to- It would be- It’s like not turning up to a funeral.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 39:21, 22nd Sep)

“Will there be a L’Manberg after tonight?” (Tommy)

“Not as we know it.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s the election results: 50:03, 22nd Sep)

“Killing Schlatt wouldn’t do anything, killing Schlatt wouldn’t fix a single thing, that would not fix a single issue. ‘Cause then Quackity would just become President, and who knows if that would be worse, and then George would be Vice President. Then if we kill Quackity, then George would be President. It means nothing, Tommy. It wouldn’t have mattered if you killed him or not.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:07:52, 8th Oct)

“Then let’s be the bad guys. Tommy, why not? Why not? Look, our nation’s gone, our nation’s far behind us, Tommy. Let’s blow that motherfucker to smithereens.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 16:33)

“What’s the point, Tommy? What’s the point in rebuilding this entire place from scratch?” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:14:07, 8th Oct)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“It’s what has to be done, man, it’s what has to be done. I was saying this to Tommy, I’ll say it again. If Schlatt loses to us, we’ve still lost. Schlatt’s a smart man, he knows what he’s done. He’s set up things up in such a way, so that our success will actually just cause another cycle of pain and death and destruction, right.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 6:56, 13th Oct)

“But here’s the thing, right, it’s about the fact that with or without, you know- If we win, Schlatt wins. If we lose, Schlatt wins. The only way we can possibly have any sort of semblance of victory is for us both to lose.” - (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:00, 13th Oct)

“How are you gonna make Schlatt lose?” (Tubbo)

“By destroying the one thing we care about.” (Alivebur)

- (Tubbo reacts to Wilbur Soots evil plan! [yt clip]: 8:15, 13th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“And then that’s the be-all or end-all, that is either we take Manberg back - and Dream you fight us as much as you want for Manberg - and- or on the other side, we blow it all up! That’s the be-all or end-all, that’s where it either- It’s ends. It ends on the 16th. We have to end it.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 43:47, 6th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“T- Tommy, your only decree as President happened to be one of the best decrees you could have ever make! Welcome to L’Manberg, L’Manberg, welcome, please use the name correctly from here on. And so in keeping with the theme, I am also going to do a change.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:27, 16th Nov)

“That flag you that see over there, the obsidian one, scrap it. That is not the national flag of our nation. The national flag of our nation is yellow, black, red, white, and blue. And that’s how it should be, and that’s one of the first things I want changed.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:07:43, 16th Nov)

“And this is something I want this to be one last time. It’s important to know how to say goodbye to a nation, to my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:08:47, 16th Nov)

“That there was a special place, there was, was a special place, where men could go and emancipate, you know. And there was definitely, that special place did exist once, it did. It did. But even with Tubbo in charge, I don’t think it can exist again. I don’t think it can exist again.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:12:22, 16th Nov)

“The thing that I built this nation for doesn’t exist anymore! The thing I worked towards doesn’t exist anymore! It’s over.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:13:11, 16th Nov)

“I was just saying, I made this big point, and it was poignant, and it was that, it’s um, that there was a special place where men could go but it’s not there anymore, you know. It’s not-” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:43, 16th Nov)

“Uh, one thing, I didn’t actually really care about L'Manberg, I just cared about, you know, sticking it to the man. Actually, I cared about L'Manberg for the sole reason that I could use it to stick it to the man.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:18, 5th May)

“Look, I- Okay, I said it wrong. Look, I did care about- I did care about L'Manberg, but I cared about it for- You would call it the wrong reasons, but I, I- Just don’t think about it, don’t think about it too hard. Look, L'Manberg’s gone now, we’ve got that, you know- That, that wart on my side is gone, you know. I salute it, I salute it, you know, it was a great- It was a great place.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 25:18, 5th May)

“Look, Tommy, I’m gonna reiterate for you once more because I don’t think you quite understood, and that’s okay, you know, you don’t need to understand everything. I did care about L'Manberg. I did, I did. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, Tommy. L'Manberg would have been as loved by me had it been called Bimbum and was built in the middle of the desert.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:05, 5th May)

“The actual location, and the actual things it was, it were, were not important to me. It’s the thing it stood for. Which was freedom, liberty, and sticking it to the man, Tommy!” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 26:26, 5th May)

“We were a family, Tommy. We were…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:26, 5th May)

“Yeah, it’s great. I personally am a big, big fan of the song. Not just 'cause I wrote, I know, you know they say, you know they always say you are your own worst critic. But, I mean, I, I think it’s good.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:07, 3rd Aug)

“So it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is, Ranboo, right, is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 8:46, 3rd Aug)

“He used to plant the stuff around the caravan and then to make it grow better, he used to- To make it grow better, my man Tommy- … So, my man Tommy, used to sing to the plants to make them grow better. Uh, and that was the song he used to sing.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:14, 3rd Aug)

“So I thought, what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation, than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little, his little muse, you know?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 9:47, 3rd Aug)

“Anyway, I’m excited, let’s go to L'Manberg. Or to what was L'Man- It’s just a big glass thing now, isn’t it?” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 10:56, 3rd Aug)

“I- Ah- It’s kinda- I’m not a fan. It’s kinda rude to L'Manberg’s history, you know? It’s called L'Manberg. It’s called L'Manberg. Not Manberg, not L'Crater, or whatever. L'Manhole… I don’t care. It’s now, L'Manberg. It’s always L'Manberg. It’s just how it goes.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:06, 3rd Aug)

“Ohh! It’s got the flag, man! Can we go down and see the flag?! Come on, come on, come on! Fuck, get me down there, get me down there. Shit, I’m struggling to climb! I’m like a lemming. I don’t care, I’m just gonna jump!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 11:49, 3rd Aug)

“See, this is, this is what it deserved. Not that glass bullshit, you know? This is what it needed. It needed this like, this like beautiful overgrown, like- It feels like, it feels like, it feels like, you know, it happened now, you know? It doesn’t just feel like, it doesn’t just feel like, 'oh yeah it’s a monument’. It feels like- This is- You know, nature’s claimed it back and this is the world.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 12:14, 3rd Aug)

“It’s weird seeing you here.” (Tubbo)

“Wha- What, in L'Manberg? That seems like the most normal place to see me, right?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 13:57, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given. Just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:26, 3rd Aug)

“You feel lost without, without a nation. I guess that’s where anarchy fails.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:51, 3rd Aug)

“Yeah we fought against Dream, uh, and we managed to- We succeeded and we created a life for ourselves.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:13, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want, I don’t want people to use this against me is the main problem.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:19, 3rd Aug)

“I didn’t even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it kinda eats away at me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:29, 3rd Aug)

“I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about L'Manberg, and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff. But it’s not, it’s not true.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:36, 3rd Aug)

“L'Manberg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“I want it to, em, I want its history to live on not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically just took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna, I wanna make it, I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened. You know, it was a great thing, you know, think of the good times. The- The years of safety. Well, not years, but you know.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“The time of safety, the time of fun, prosperity, you know. We built parks, we had, you know, no taxes, we had big walls. We had democracy. Albeit, a slightly disjointed version of it. But, you know. I want, that’s how people remember L'Manberg. That’s what people think of when they think of our nation.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 26:47, 3rd Aug)

“And you know, Tubbo, Tubbo’s the last connection we really have. I mean, he… he’d said it himself he’s kind of, you know, he’s got nothing without it.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:36, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve heard about what- what- Tommy’s, you know, moved on, and how Jack’s moved on, and Niki’s moved on, and everyone’s moved on from L'Manberg, at least partially, but Tubbo, man, he’s still…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 27:45, 3rd Aug)

“I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m looking at him, I’m looking out for him here.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:14, 3rd Aug)

Ghostbur wore this care for L’Manburg and its people on his sleeve as well (and rebuilt most of it when making New L’Manburg):

“Everything for L’Manberg. For L’Manberg, my L’Manberg.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:46:29, 24th Nov)

“Hey, Tubbo, why are you wearing armour in L’Manberg? I thought that was the rule. You haven’t changed, have you, Tubbo? You haven’t changed, have you?“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 59:21, 16th Dec)

“This doesn’t look like something L’Manberg would build.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:03, 16th Dec)

“I’ve been reading a lot of history books recently, Philza. Lot of the L’Manberg history books, right? Because I know that Alivebur was really important in it, right? And I was reading them all, and I read one of the things, one of the first doctrinations that the entirety of this nation was formed on was the idea that everyone’s free. Everyone’s free to do what they want, and live how they want. I don’t think cages are conducive to that environment.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:08, 16th Dec)

“Right, but also, another thing. Techno was always allowed in L’Manberg. He was always allowed in there. But now he’s not. Now there’s loads of signs about him, wanting him alive. What’s that about?” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:08:37, 16th Dec)

“And Tubbo shot you with a bow!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:08, 16th Dec)

“I thought Tubbo was the- Tubbo’s a good guy.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:09:16, 16th Dec)

“Yeah! Because you finally put an end to Alivebur, and everyone didn’t like him. But from what I’ve seen, he sort of had the longest era of peace in L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:11:46, 16th Dec)

“I’m going to go see this cage.” *starts singing the first verse of the anthem* - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:17:18, 16th Dec)

“I wrote the verses! I wrote the second and third verses it was a very happy memory for me.“ - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:17:44, 16th Dec)

“Phil, I don’t think a cage is very indicative of L’Manberg. I’m going to get rid of the cage.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:18:16, 16th Dec)

“Freedom! This entire nation’s about freedom and doing whatever you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:41, 16th Dec)

“I just destroyed the cage, I destroyed the shackles of oppression, I have drained the bog- the mire of injustice, and I have found peace in a land of tyranny!” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:19:47, 16th Dec)

“Ranboo, don’t you think Phil can leave his house? He can leave his house, can’t he, Ranboo?” (Ghostbur)

“He can’t, he’s legally not able to.” (Ranboo)

“But- Where men can go and emancipate. Do you know what emancipate means?” (Ghostbur)

- (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:05, 16th Dec)

“But L’Manberg’s all about freedom, and doing whatever you want, and being able to be whoever you want and go where you want.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:25, 16th Dec)

“I just took down the cage that you built, ‘cause I think that was a mistake. And I think maybe Philza should be let out of his house because he’s a citizen of L’Manberg.” - (Philza’s Just a regular day: 1:20:35, 16th Dec)

“Why- Why did you- Why did you blow up L’Manberg?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:19, 6th Jan)

“You knew Friend was in your house! You knew! Stop! Stop! Stop! You knew Friend was in your house! You knew everything everyone owned was in this town!” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:39, 6th Jan)

“I don’t- I don’t- I don’t- I don’t want to listen- I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t want to have to hear what you have to say. I- I- I’ve read the history books, Phil. I’ve read the history books. You- You- You slayed the dragon, you slayed Alivebur. You were the- You- You are the St George of the Dream SMP. We understand, everyone understands that, Phil. But, look what you’ve done. How can you look at this and still see yourself as a hero. Sending a message, Phil. Sending a message?” - (Wilbur’s First Time Ghostbur Live: 17:58, 6th Jan)

“Me? I’ve just been, you know, having a nice time wandering. I’ve been wandering around L’Manberg, something keeps drawing me to L’Manberg, so I’ve just sorta been hanging out there. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:05, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know it just feels like I have to be there, you know?” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 39:17, 22nd Apr)

-He didn’t leave, nor escaped consequences, nor pressured Phil into killing him. He committed suicide

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I have been here, like seven or eight times I have been here… Seven or eight times” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:56, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’ve been here here so many times.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:13, 16th Nov)

“I don’t even know if it works anymore, Phil. I don’t even know if the button works. I could, I could… press it, and it might-” (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:29, 16th Nov)

“There was a saying, Phil, by a traitor, once part of L’Manberg. A traitor I don’t know if you’ve heard of Eret? He had a saying, Phil. It was never meant to be.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:56, 16th Nov)

“My L’Manberg, Phil! My unfinished symphony! Forever unfinished! If I can’t have this, no one can, Phil!” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:16:40, 16th Nov)

“Kill me Phil. Phil kill me. Phil, kill me. Phil, stab me with a sword, murder me now. Kill me. Killza. Killza. Do it. Murder me. Look, they all want you to! Do it Phil, kill me. Phil, kill me.” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:22)

“God you’re… You’re my son!” (Philza)

“Phil, kill me!” (Wilbur)

-(Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:34)

“Look! Look! How much work went into this and it’s gone?!” - (Wilbur’s video Finale: 30:42)

“Do it. Do it.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:17:20, 16th Nov)

“Do you wanna be alive again?” (Tubbo)

“Oh, hell no. No. God, oh god.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:29:22, 20th Jan)

“We can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“W– What?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:46, 20th Jan)

“The reason why Dream isn’t dead now, off his own server, banned, is because we can bring you back.” (Tommy)

“Y– W– I– But I– I– I don’t- I don’t wanna- I- I don’t.” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:31:53, 20th Jan)

“Are you sure?” (Tubbo)

“W– You made a– You… You made a– The one person on the server who is– I… You want– Let me get it straight. So you managed to get the discs by… Wait, so the reason Dream’s not dead is because you want me back alive?” (Alivebur)

- (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:32:09, 20th Jan)

“Guys, I– What the fuck have you done?! What have you done?! The one thing I wanted was to stay fucking dead!” - (Tommy’s The Dream SMP Finale: 1:33:30, 20th Jan)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“I know what I’m like, that’s the issue.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:29, 4th March)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

-He wasn't in fact abusive in Pogtopia

Since this would be proving a negative, refer back to prior points regarding his care for people, his situation during Pogtopia, his care for L'Manburg and its people, etc

-He’s only taken one life (which was canonized only in retrospect)

This was Jack Manifold's second life, canonized as being killed by Wilbur in the Manburg vs Pogtopia war, so... you know... A goddamn WAR. And this was also not a canon life at the time, being turned canon in retrospect due to the canonization of Jack "losing his lives and going to hell just to crawl out of it"

-He wanted Phil to be proud of him and not worry (which is why he lied in the letters)

“I miss Philza. I wonder if he’d be proud of me.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 52:17, 16th Oct)

“I’m excited to meet Phil. I, I hope he-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 44:10, 5th May)

“Phil, I- … Phil, I’ve made an agreement with myself that I wouldn’t lie now that I’ve been brought back to life, because the thing is, Phil, I wasn’t that big of a liar in the first place but just y- Try- Imagine you’re at summer camp, Phil! Imagine you’re away at summer camp, and you’re having the worst shit time of your life but your parents are paying good money for it right. And your parents ask you, 'hey, how are you doing at summer camp?’, I’m not gonna write back, 'Oh yeah, it’s fine, the counsellor’s just burnt down the group house, but we’re having a great time!’. You know, no, I’m gonna tell you it’s going great, I’m gonna tell you it’s marvellous. I did it to save your feelings, Phil, and I’m… I’m sorry I forgot to write, and that’s why you ended up coming down, but, like it’s not- It wasn’t spite, it wasn’t spite, I promise.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 50:37, 5th May)

-He tends to project his own feelings when talking to other people about how he sees they feel

“When I look at you, as a fellow outsider… you’re not ready for that. I’m leaving.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:48, 12th Apr)

“Tommyinnit, you’re scared that people are gonna think differently of you. Tommy, when I said you’re never gonna be president, you gotta understand, that wasn’t a challenge, that’s true. You’re never gonna be president, Tommy. And I can hear it in your voice, you’re trying sound like you know what you’re doing, so that you can prove me wrong. Tommy, none of us know what we’re doing. We’re fucked, we were fucked the minute we were thrown out.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 19:39)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“I’m really happy you’re here, man. I felt this place growing for you in here, right? And you know why I’m glad, Tommy, you know why I’m glad? Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t. Like, you can look at the whole history of the server, and it all falls in our laps, the problems, right.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:35, 4th March)

“Think about it, everything that’s gone wrong, is down to us, it lies at our footsteps.” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 9:59, 4th March)

“Here’s the thing, I genuinely think, if it weren’t for me and you dying right, the server would be in shambles. I know for a fact that if I come back, or if I’m brought back to life in some way it’s definitely gonna just go [shit again]” - (Tommy’s am i dead?: 10:10, 4th March)

“Sounds like you’ve set yourself up for a bit of a stressful life with this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 26:23, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“We may have so much different, but you know what the one thing we’ve got in common, our strongest point, and you mustn’t take offence to this. Neuroticism.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:26, 25th July)

“Me and you are just as neurotic as each other, just as nervous. But the thing is, it’s not our downfall, you know. Anxiety isn’t necessarily, you know, an evil trait to have. Anxiety is what kept our ancestors alive, Ranboo. You, me, your parents, whoever they may be, my parents. Do you know how they’re alive? Because they were anxious. They didn’t let another thing kill them, they didn’t let another thing take them down. Our ancestors, the cavemen in the words, or caveendermen, I guess. They were anxious when they heard the lion roar, the were anxious when they heard the wolf howl. And you know what they did? They got inside and they hid. And that’s why we’re here today.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:37, 25th July)

“Ranboo, me and you are neurotic, and that’s why we’re alive right now, talking to each other and doing this.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 40:25, 25th July)

-He feels inhuman. He knows that people see him as a freak, evil or crazy and that makes him feel dehumanized

“TommyInnit, as you know, is just, he thinks I’m insane. I’m not insane, chat, I’m not insane.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 4:30, 16th Oct)

“See, I’m not so crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 16:40, 16th Oct)

“I’ve told you, I’m not crazy, Tommy. I know what I’m doing, and this is genuinely the best thing we could do right now.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 17:18, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crazy! How am I crazy?!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 43:18, 17th Oct)

“History is written by the winners.” (Ghostbur)

“Yeah, and he, he technically won. I mean, he did what he wanted to.” (Ranboo)

“But then he lost and everyone hates him.” (Ghostbur)

- (Ranboo’s Preparation: 13:55, 14th Mar)

“Everyone I seem to meet has this deep intrisnic feeling of disgust towards me. Jack Manifold seemed to be quite nice to me, but I reckon he, I could feel it, you know, in his stare. But like, you don’t have that. I can tell you’re a good guy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:24, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know?” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Listen, Phil, I met, I met Quackity. After you very kindly lent me your house. I went and met him. Yeah! I met up with him, and I hadn’t seen him in ages. It was, I’m gonna say it, it was nice. It was a nice time. I- I- It felt good, it felt, uh, you know, he didn’t, he didn’t seem afraid of me, which is cool.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:38, 25th July)

“Not many people do. I mean, Phil, you don’t seem afraid of me, you’re not afraid of me, are you, Phil?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:03, 25th July)

“Good, good. 'Cause I’m not afraid of you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 8:10, 25th July)

“Why? Why? … No, no, no, no, no, not the, not the bit about the, not the bit about the right foot, the why don’t you think I’m a bad person?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 35:13, 25th July)

“Can I be real with you, man? I think I scare people.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:30, 25th July)

“I mean, like I, I, I, I don’t think I, I- I think a lot of people share your idea, but they share your idea in trying to- trying to keep me from hurting them, you know? Like they’ve seen what I can do, and they don’t want me to do it again, so they adopt your emotion in order to do it.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 36:46, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m living in eternal limbo, again. I’ve been through limbo, I’m out of limbo, and socially, I’m still in this limbo.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:36, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“When I look at him… When I look at him, when he’s helping me out, building things with me… I see the same eyes that looked at me when, when…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:43, 3rd Aug)

“There weren’t some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn’t a very well man. And I can just see Tommy from that day.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:54, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He did in fact spend 13 and a half years in limbo. Alone. In the dark. Deprived of everything

“I- I feel so numb, I feel… Who- Wh- Are you- Who the fuck- Who the fuck is this- Who the fuck’s, Friend?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:28, 29th Apr)

“I’m sor- I’ve obviously- No, no, no, no. I’ve obviously missed a beat here. I’ve missed a beat. What’s happening? Why am I here?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 52:54, 29th Apr)

“I have spent thirteen and a half years, in the fucking-!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:05, 29th Apr)

“I can- I can feel…” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:23, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I- Tommy, I don’t know if you remember- … Tommy, I don’t if you- Do you remember when you came to visit me briefly? That was lovely, by the way. I cherished that day you came to visit me, TommyInnit. I cherished that. Remember when we played competitive solitaire for like three months! It was brilliant! I wish you’d dropped in longer.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:29, 29th Apr)

Tommy, I don’t know if you remember me telling you this, it was quite a few years ago for me now. But my personal limbo was a train platform, Tommy. It was a train platform. No matter where I look, no matter where I went, just concrete walls all around, and a tube with a track running straight along.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 56:33, 29th Apr)

“It doesn’t matter what I did, Tommy. I could claw on the walls, I could bash on the doors, I could scream for help- I screamed until my lungs were sore, till my voice was hoarse. And nothing ever changes, nothing ever comes, nothing ever helps you, Tommy.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:00, 29th Apr)

“And then you arrive, you arrive, and it was great! And then you left. You got on a train and you left.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 57:12, 29th Apr)

“Well, I, I’m in my forties now, Tommy. I mean, I’m- Uh. I counted the years, man. How old are you now, what, you must be like, what, twenty, thirty? You’re in your twenties, thirties now? How old are you? I mean it’s been a long time. It’s been thirteen years.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 9:00, 5th May)

“I had thirteen years, I had thirteen years in complete solitude, Phil. Mostly complete solitude. In a dim room. No, no, Phil, it’s like method acting. I’ve- I- I- I- I- Honestly, if you’d got me out of there about six years into it, man, you would have not liked to see me then. I was, I was not in a good state six years ago. But now, man, now, thirteen years later? It’s like I came full circle, I’m a new man, I’m a fresh face. Isn’t that right, Tommy?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:07, 5th May)

“Okay. Tubbo, I’ve literally- I was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn’t long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you, but, thirteen years, Tubbo. Thirteen years of my life. I aged! Look at me, I’m not the same young man you knew!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 20:52, 3rd Aug)

“I’ve, I’ve been through it. And in those thirteen years, Tubbo, I wasn’t just sat twiddling my thumbs just going 'Oo this is nice, oh, I’m in darkness right now’. You know, I was, I was thinking.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:10, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

He’s missing huge chunks of information, even with some of Ghostbur’s memories (since he doesn’t know about doomsday, we can know that he at least doesn’t exactly know about everything Ghostbur even saw, and with Ghostbur’s memory issues in mind, we could assume he’s missing whatever Ghostbur’s mind considered a “bad memory”):

“Ohh, fuck! Did I- Did I do that? Oo, that’s not a good look, is it? That’s not a good look for me.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:06, 29th Apr)

“Ohhh. Ohh, no. Oh I really did a number on this place, huh? Oh ho, ho, ho boy! Oh dear! Oh no! I really did a number here.” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 53:23, 29th Apr)

“I remember the prison, because I’ve got- I remember some of what Ghostbur remembers.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:21, 5th May)

“Tommy, do you remember when you got sent into exile? Yeah. I remember. I was there, Tommy, I was there. I was there. I was in the cage of that little ghost’s fucking head. Every single step you and me took-” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:23, 5th May)

“Look at me, Tommy. Look me in the eyes. Every single step me and you took, I was there, I was there. I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“He seems- I remember him as a good guy. Ghostbur really liked this guy. I have this memory.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:59, 5th May)

“So, Las Nevadas, Snowchester… I thought- Techno and Phil told me they were successful- Well, just Phil, I haven’t spoken to Techno since it happened. But like, Phil told me that they were successful and that there’s no more nations anymore, and that it’s anarchy. ” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 45:50, 25th July)

“Wait and that’s- Hold on. Why would, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil want to blow up L'Manberg? Didn’t they live here? I mean, I don’t know about Techno but-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:18, 3rd Aug)

“And it was just Techno and Phil?” (Alivebur)

“Yes…” (Tubbo)

- (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:39, 3rd Aug)

“Sorry, that’s kinda… hit me. Not, not the blowing up part, I mean, I’ve done that. You know, I’m not, I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that, you rebuilt this. After I’d gone.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 18:48, 3rd Aug)

“Oh yeah the fucking ghost- Who car- You rebuilt this!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:03, 3rd Aug)

He’s expressed that he’s ecstatic to be alive again and never wants to go back to limbo:

“Ohhh. Ohhh, Tommy. Ohh, Tommy. Tommy, this is bliss!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:32, 29th Apr)

“Oh my god the sunrise. Where’s the sun- I need to watch the sun rise. Oh! Tommy, I’ve waited so fucking long. Tommy, I have been waiting over a decade, in near darkness. This is my sunrise. This is my sunrise. This is mine! This is mine, Tubbo!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 54:43, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, it was the worst time of my fucking life, Tommy. Tommy, I don’t know if you know-” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 55:53, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I thought I wanted to die. All those- That decade and and a half ago, I thought I wanted to die. I thought I wanted to die, but now I’ve seen what hell is, now I’ve seen the other side!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:05, 29th Apr)

“Tommy, I’ve been given a new lease on life. There’s so much I need to do, Tommy. There’s so much I’ve gotta do. There’s so much! Tubbo, are you coming, and Ranboo…?” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:16, 29th Apr)

“Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me- Tommy, are you trying to make me- You remember that time in the cave? Are you trying- Are you trying do- Are you trying to make me feel like I did back then, in Pogtopia? Are you trying to- Are you trying to make me feel as bad as I did back then? ‘Cause it’s not gonna work!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:06, 29th Apr)

“I have this lease on life, and by god, if life’s a fucking horse, I’m gonna ride it, Tommy! I’m sor- I’ve gotta go. I’ve got things to do, I’ve got things to plan. I’ll see you soon, alright? I’ll see you next time. Alright, bye guys! Bye, bye!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 59:24, 29th Apr)

“No, no, no, oh no, god forbid, god for- I can eat, I can feel. Hit me, pinch me, pinch me. Ah! See? I’m tangible.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 21:58, 31st May)

-He really regrets what happened in Pogtopia

I need to make some apologies. I told you I needed to have a think. And I don’t think an apology will ever sum up what I did here, I mean, look at this mess.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:00, 5th May)

“But like I think, I think I do need to um. I need to apologise to some people, you know, I’ve gotta make amends. I’ve gotta make amends, and I promise that’s true.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:27, 5th May)

“I know- Look at me, look at me in the eyes. I know it’s hard to believe when you look at me, that I… you know- I’ve turned over a new leaf, I’ve turned over a new leaf, you know. I’m feeling good! I’m feeling really, really… well. In the head, in the body. I feel limber.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 8:38, 5th May)

“I wanna apologise to Skeppy. You know, I wanna say sorry to Skeppy if Skeppy has got some problems with me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:45, 5th May)

“No, I need to apologise, man. It’s important that I…” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 12:59, 5th May)

“Jack, I came here for one simple reason, Jack. One simple reason. Jack, it’s super simple! Jack, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t grant freedom and liberty to Manifoldland, and I’m sorry I led you into war that you didn’t have faith in, I’m sorry that I denied you access to the election, and I’m sorry you were just kinda left behind the whole time. I’m sorry. And I’m especially sorry for of course blowing up your house and your world.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:59, 5th May)

“Hm. Yes. I am. Yep. I am. And I- You don’t have to forgive me, you don’t have to accept my apology, I will- I will, em- I’ll go, uh, but yeah.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 23:33, 5th May)

“Listen, Tommy, Tommy, and in my oath of not lying, I’m gonna tell you now, Tommy, I’m sorry for a couple things, to each of these people, right, on the server. I’m sorry to a lot of them, except for Phil. I have nothing to apologise to Phil for, Phil has done nothing wrong.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 24:50, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’ve said this before, I have no issue with anyone on the server. I am deeply apologetic.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 28:47, 5th May)

“Tommy’s very suspicious of me because of who I was, you know? Who I was, but it’s uh. Look, I’m apologetic, I’m genuinely I, I feel very bad for everything that I did, and I shan’t do something similar to that again.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 30:55, 5th May)

“Quackity, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve, I’ll be honest you with you, I’ve lost everything, man. I, um. I’ve lost decades of my life. I’ve lost my- most of the people who cared about me. Some people don’t even know I’m back yet, and I, and I think that’s probably for the best. So I feel like that does humble a man. That really humbles a man, you know? Life is paved with the mistakes you make, and uh, it’s not about when you made the mistakes or what you did, it’s about how you can improve from them, you know? And that’s what um, I guess that’s what I’m trying to do.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:00:52, 31st May)

“Uh, I saw Jack Manifold, I saw Phil, I saw this Ranboo guy, Tommy, obviously, and now you. I mean there’s lots of people who I wish I could see, like I wish I could just tell them like ‘I’m alive!’ and, and apologise, and also thank them.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:01:38, 31st May)

“Alright. I mean, I’m trying to move past that kinda stuff…” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 7:21, 25th July)

“Look, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not coming at you here like judging you. I- I’m not one to talk about conflict, man.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 33:27, 25th July)

“Do you know all it took- Do you know I demolished Jack Manifold’s house, twice. I brutally ignored him during the war of L'Man- He fought for my country, and I ignored him. I didn’t look at him, I didn’t give him so much as a medal, I didn’t give so much as a rank. I gave him the lowest rank on the cabinet. And do you what it took, do you know what it took for him to forgive me? A sorry.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:10, 25th July)

“I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know, entirely on the same page. But, man, I promise you, I’ve calmed down, you know, I’m all, I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old, you know, who’s still about, you know, who… Who, uh… uh… Who trusts me and stuff.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:04, 3rd Aug)

“Super simply, man. I just want to say I- I want to say I’m sorry. For one thing mainly, uh, I’ve been thinking about this for y- Literal years, literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for, uh, I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole, I’m sorry that I, uh, I said you were the president of a crater. I just want to say that I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 15:56, 3rd Aug)

“I relived that explosion in my head so many times man. And, and, and I- I get that you don’t, you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro, I’m not gonna do it again. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:21, 3rd Aug)

“I know you had that- at the festival, with Technoblade. I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:41, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry. And I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me, but it doesn’t, it doesn’t give up what I did to you, and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a, I mean, fuck being, as a co-worker, but just you know, anything.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 21:56, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, like, man, I’m- I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:26, 3rd Aug)

“Tubbo, I, I really appreciate it. And I mean that, genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna, I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:44, 3rd Aug)

“I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 22:55, 3rd Aug)

“I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo, please, I know. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:13, 3rd Aug)

“It feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I, and I, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“Give me time. I’m gonna, I’m gonna make something, I’m gonna make something of this and I’m gonna… Um…” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 23:20, 3rd Aug)

“This is- I mean, I’ve gotta, I’ve gotta- You know, I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it’s hard, I mean I’ve… It’s… It’s difficult. It’s difficult, man.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:20, 3rd Aug)

“But, you know, it’s, it’s gonna get better, it’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling, all of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy. Anyone!” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 25:32, 3rd Aug)

-He doesn’t want to be like Dream really, he just wants his punishment to be visible (and considers him his hero for taking him out of the horrid experience that was limbo coupled with him missing huge chunks of information about what went down when he was dead)

“My hero! My fucking hero, Dream, saved me from that hell!” - (Tommy’s Breaking Into Prison To Kill Dream: 58:00, 29th Apr)

“I had no control of what was happening, I have no idea what was being said. But, Tommy, I’ll tell you what, if I was there, and if it wasn’t that stupid shell of a ghost instead of me, I would have struck down Dream right where he stood. We would have disembowelled him, we would have disembowelled him together. Together.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 20:42, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m not, I’m not- I wasn’t blind, I saw what he was doing to you, Tommy. I saw. I saw what he was doing to Tubbo. I saw what he did to me.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 21:08, 5th May)

“Dream was the only that held my seat for me. He kept it warm, he kept my throne warm, and you guys didn’t like that, so you threw him in prison. And if Dream died instead of me, I would be in there right now.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:07, 5th May)

“So, Tommy, you should thank that I wasn’t alive to attack Dream when we got exiled. You should glad we had little passive Ghostbur, because now Dream’s in there, and I’m out here, baby. And I wanna stretch my legs, let’s go for a walk.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 22:19, 5th May)

“Because, because, if you hadn’t done that, I would have ended up living in the- I would have been exiled with TommyInnit, and then I would have gotten angry at Dream 'cause Dream can’t go around hurting Tommy like that. I would have gotten angry at Dream and I would have tried to fight Dream. Which I now see would have been a silly move because Dream’s my hero, Dream’s amazing! So like, I would have ended up fighting Dream, and then, I would have been the one in prison and not Dream.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 48:52, 5th May)

“Well, yes, but I wouldn’t have stood for Dream’s shit. Whilst Tubbo did stand for it, you know, but that’s fair enough, I don’t hold it against him.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 49:27, 5th May)

“Imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, what’s Dream done to Jack Manifold, huh? Barely anything.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:42, 25th July)

“I imagine if Dream said sorry to Jack Manifold, Jack Manifold would ignore him. Do you know why? Because Dream’s in prison and I’m not!” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 37:57, 25th July)

“Dream is- He’s had his comeuppance, and I have not! My comeuppance was apparently not good enough for this people. They’re just waiting, they’re waiting for the next thing for me to slip up on, and, Ranboo, I’m not gonna fucking slip up, Ranboo. I’m different.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:07, 25th July)

“I’m not Dream. God I wish I was! Sometimes, I wish, I wish I’d gotten that comeuppance, but, Ranboo, I’m not Dream, and I’m not gonna be Dream.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:22, 25th July)

-He believes he doesn’t have inherent worth as a human, thus he has to serve a role in some big plan or win people over to stay with him

“Tubbo, I don’t know if you are just preferring his rule over mine, and I- I feel like I’ve got to win you over.” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 1:22:15, 23rd Sep)

“Dream, let me be your vassal. Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT, a lot of the ol’ trinitrotoluene in your possession, don’t you? You do! Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:33:27, 8th Oct)

“I sort of made a deal with Dream. Look, I made a deal with Dream. I’m fighting on your side, I’ll fight for the side of L’Manberg. But the minute you guys start losing, I’m detonating that entire thing. I’m blowing the entire place up. And Dream said that’s fine, Dream said that’s allowed. So that’s what I’m doing.” - (Wilbur’s The Meeting: 58:44, 6th Nov)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“Tommy’s only known me for a few hours now. I mean I disappeared after coming back to life, 'cause- I’ve made some plans, I’ve made some plans. Which, don’t worry, you’ll be hearing about them first, Phil. I’m getting you in, I’m getting you in on the ground floor, right. And you Tommy, and you Tommy, of course. But like, you’ve gotta understand- They’re not ready yet, the plans aren’t ready yet.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 52:59, 5th May)

“Tommy, I’m impressed, man. I, honestly- Can I be honest with you, Tommy? I, um. Look, I’ve gotta be honest with you, man, like, like, Wilbur he makes some mistakes sometimes, Tommy. He makes mistakes. And I, I may have forgotten asking you to get the stone.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 9:28, 31st May)

“If I, I, I, I, if I’d known that there was gonna be a place that I could align myself to as quickly as this, I would have done it sooner.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 23:44, 31st May)

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you, I assume. I, I, I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:00, 31st May)

“No, you’ve got it all wrong, you’ve got it all wrong, man. Like, like, okay, maybe, maybe I was unpredictable in the past, you know, but I’ve turned over a new leaf, Quackity. I don’t lie anymore, I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I don’t, I know nothing about TNT anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about TNT, it’s ridiculous.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 24:45, 31st May)

“Quackity, I, I don’t know what you mean about my unpredictability, man. But like, listen to me, look at me, look at me. I am, I am your, I am your servant, Quackity. Look, Quackity, look me at me, look me in the eyes, look me in the eyes, I am your servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I have, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership, I can be, I can be, you know, assistant to the President. Just, I- This is- Quackity, this is everything I dreamt of, a solid marble and quartz…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 25:24, 31st May)

“Quackity, you’re making a mistake, man. You should- You need to let me in, you need to let me be a part of this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:03, 31st May)

“Quackity, Quackity, I’m, Quackity, listen, I need this.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 26:17, 31st May)

“Listen, Tommy, I heard what he was saying to you, man, and you don’t seriously believe that, do you? Like, like, man, Tommy, you… I’ll be honest with you, can I be honest with you for a second? I, I think you going with Quackity, you’ll have a job. You’ll have a job, right, you’ll be fine, you’ll, you know, you’ll be set for life. You’ll be a caterer.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 38:56, 31st May)

“Look, Tommy, look at me, I’m, I’m not gonna stop you man, but… you’re… I’ll be honest with you, you’re all I’ve got.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:39, 31st May)

“Oh, Jack Manifold’s fine, but he wouldn’t do this, he’s too busy with his hotel business and stuff, and uh- And you’ve got Philza. Philza is on the wrong end of a bad stick, as you could say. He’s taken up some ideas about authoritarianism that I just don’t agree with.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 39:48, 31st May)

“Well, I just wanted to say, I wanted to say… Tommy, I don’t want to make a country. I’m past that, man. I wanna make a HQ. I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy, it’s been so long since we’ve felt safe. And man, you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much. Tommy, you’ve changed the world. And all you have to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy, you deserve this safety and this sanctuary, and that’s what I wanna make with you, and you won’t get it over there. You won’t get it over there.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:14, 31st May)

“You know what they say about casinos? It’s all lights, it’s all plastic, it’s all glitter, but there’s nothing of substance. You know what has substance, Tommy? Family. Blood. Please stay with me, Tommy. Stay on this side. Don’t go to him and his cushy catering job. It’s gonna be hard over here, man! You’re gonna have to do some stuff that isn’t fun, but it’s, it’s rewarding. Hedonism doesn’t get you everywhere, man.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 40:49, 31st May)

-The whole not having a grave thing really hit him even if he played it off

Ghostbur talks about him not having a grave:

“You’re the best president L’Manburg’s ever had” (Ghostbur)

“Really? You think so? I’m-” (Tubbo)

“Oh, for sure! For sure!” (Ghostbur)

“Are you sure you were not better the first term? Before I… came in” (Tubbo)

“Look Tubbo, I- I don’t know what I did, but it was enough that I don’t even deserve a-” (Ghostbut)

“Do you not even remember the first term, Wilbur? Your second term was where it kinda backed” (Tubbo)

“I remember- I remember my- I remember my- my first term, but I’m just saying- (coughs)” (Ghostbur)

“But you brought freedom to the nation” (Tubbo)

“I- I had a second term?” (Ghostbur)

“Oh…oh, yeah… I guess you don’t remember the second term” (Tubbo)

“(coughs) Tubbo, I- I-“ (Ghostbur)

“Wilbur, Wilbur, do you need some blue? Do you need some blue, Wilbur?” (Tubbo)

“No, it’s cool, I’ve got loads of blue. I say- I’m just saying Tubbo, look… At the end of the day, it’s- I… I don’t- I feel like I was a good president, but I-I wa- Tubbo, I wasn’t… I-I wasn’t good enough to deserve a gravestone… A-and everyone hated me” (Ghostbur)

-(Tubbo’s The Next Steps: 30:14, 7th Dec)

Then revived Wilbur concealing his feelings about it while sprinkling some self-hatred in there (and admitting that he was bothered about in in the 3rd of August stream):

“I know this may be a bit ominous, Tommy, and I’m sorry if it’s a little bit morbid, could- Look, I’m just saying, Tommy, could I, could I see my grave? Tommy, could I see my grave?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:10, 5th May)

“Look, I know it’s a bit macabre, but I, I, I would like to see. You know, I wanna see- I wanna see what- You know there’s that kinda morbid fascination of what would people say about you when you’re dead, you know? You ever heard that?” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:33, 5th May)

“That’s fucking sick, that’s so sick, man. You’re saying my grave is the city? They made the city my grave that’s badass, dude. … You just said it was this. … Well, I mean, yeah, I didn’t want a grave. I was hoping I’d go there and it was just be full of requiems and obituaries of horrible I was, and how much I was hated.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 10:51, 5th May)

“Fuck a grave. I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave. I built something that you… that you love, that you wanted to preserve, that’s- Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave, that’s worth more to me than this shrine, that’s worth more-” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 19:09, 3rd Aug)

-He’s desperate for companionship, for someone to stick by him, he wants a friend

“We’re leaving it behind, Tommy. It’s in the past. We’re friends now, we’re friends. We’re friends.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:38, 5th May)

“You’re following me for quite a while for someone who doesn’t care.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 27:49, 5th May)

You stick with me, man, just stick with me, just stick with the winning side. Stick with the side who stands for something, stick with the side who believes in something. And we’ll, we’ll find it out.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 42:57, 5th May)

“I’m ready for this new chapter, this new page. Do you trust me? Do you believe that I’m about to turn over a new leaf, Tommy? … You believe I’m about to turn over a new leaf, even if that does involve changing a few things.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 55:01, 5th May)

“Quackity, I wanna say, I wanna say to you, like, like from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here, man, I- We’ve gotta leave Tommy outta this. Like, Tommy, I- I’m sorry if we came off a bit strong.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 50:09, 31st May)

“No, no, no, no, look, look, okay. As we’re putting it behind us, Tommy, I’m- Tommy, I take back what I- I’m fine with you working here, and still being, you know. As long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own, I have no problem with you working here, man. … That’s what I’m saying, don’t feel pressured, it’s cool.” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 51:50, 31st May)

[Mouthing: ‘Stay, stay, stay’] “Tommy, you can, you can join, I don’t mind, I’m totally cool with you joining here and being apart of the…” – (Wilbur’s A Deck of Cards with a Green Smile on them: 1:02:31, 31st May)

“Tubbo, what the fuck…! Fuck! Tubbo, why are you- Why? Why did you- Why did you get employed at the- restaurant?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 20:10, 4th Aug)

“Tubbo, are you- You’re aware that you’re- that we’re in competition now, right? We’re, we’re- Tubbo, we’ve always been on the same side, man! We’ve always been together, you’re- head to head with me now though.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 22:20, 4th Aug)

“I’m not- Does it look like I’m taking it the wrong way? I’m perfectly- I’m happy. I’m really happy. I’m happy for Tubbo. I’m happy Tubbo’s got a j- Yes! I’m happy Tubbo’s got a job, man. Tubbo, you were telling me yesterday how you felt like you lacked direction, you lacked purpose.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 23:45, 4th Aug)

“Bro, how could I be angry about that, man?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:01, 4th Aug)

“But I get it, I get it, you know, Quackity… He’s a, he’s a hard man to refuse.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 24:09, 4th Aug)

His friendship with Ranboo evolving to a point where he’s vulnerable with him for real and feels he can trust him with what he’s really feeling because Ranboo feels reliable to him (something really rare from Wilbur, refer back to the paranoia part of this):

“Okay, I know we haven’t really got off on- we haven’t got off on the best of terms from the first time we met, I know we had that argument, but uh. I like, you know, I like to think, you know, let bygones be bygones, let’s bury the hatchet. Let’s be- Ranboo, I’m gonna go out on a whim here. Do, do you wanna be friends?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 18:07, 25th July)

“And, man, Ranboo, hearing you say those words that you said to me. Do you remember what you said? You said, 'I think people can change’, that was number one. And number two, you said you’re scared if people don’t like you.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 38:45, 25th July)

“I’ve been investing into the wrong areas, Ranboo. I’ve been investing into the wrong, wrong people. We’re kindred, man. We get each other.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 39:13, 25th July)

“Ranboo, I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean you’ve barely, you’ve barely known me like, you know, very long, and you’ve instantly just, you know. You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me, and I- You know, I don’t, I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 28:20, 3rd Aug)

“But like I was saying, though, Ranboo, I, I really appreciate it, man. I- Thank you for trusting me.” - (Wilbur’s A Year Later: 29:11, 3rd Aug)

“Nine to five? Dude, I don’t make you work nine to five. You just have to work when we run out of burgers, man. You’re free to do what you want. You’re working part-time for Wilburger, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 5:18, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I think, hm. Ranboo, I think, I think you’ve, you’ve kind of taken a side here it feels like which is- Which feels like a change for you, I mean, I’m not used to this from you. I mean, you’re Mr Not Choosing A Side, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 7:39, 4th Aug)

“No, but, no, but, you don’t need to have an impact on the world, Ranboo, to matter, you know? You don’t need to build a fucking Eiffel Tower just to be, you know. Just to mean something, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 8:47, 4th Aug)

“Ranboo, Ranboo, don’t get me wrong, you’re talking to me here. I think it’s cool that you’re, that you’re, you know, going out and doing stuff.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:03, 4th Aug)

“I think it’s very cool that you’ve decided to go out and, and change how, you know, change this for the better. I think it’s for the better.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:14, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, and, man, honestly? I’m proud of you, bro. I know I don’t know you very well, I haven’t known you for very long, but, you know, I think you’ve done a really good job here.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 9:50, 4th Aug)

“Ohh, Ran… I feel you, I feel you, Ranboo, about the… compet- It’s scary, it’s scary, man. Especially when, you know, we got a long way to go, we got a lot of bridges to cross, and, and maybe one day we’ll be ready to like, you know, grab it all by the horns and ride it, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:38, 4th Aug)

“But right now it’s- it’s just- It’s just you and me against the world. The world being Tubbo and Quackity.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:55, 4th Aug)

“That’s cool. Because, because at the end of the day we’re- Going right now we’re, we’re the good guys, Ranboo. We’re, we’re the good guys here, you know?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

“Yeah. I mean, we haven’t done anything wrong, you know? We’re the good guys, and, and Quackity, Quackity’s done a few things wrong.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 31:08, 4th Aug)

Have some of his passive aggressive attempts at friendship-rivalry with Quackity (They’re kids annoying each other and I adore that):

“So he didn’t like it? He didn’t like you setting up the cookie stand?” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:33, 25th July)

“Okay. Okay. No, no, no, that’s good. That’s fine, that’s fine, you know? Because we’re, Ranboo, we’re not gonna annoy Quackity. We can’t annoy him, we can’t annoy him.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 21:44, 25th July)

“And the difference is that we’ll make our grill better than theirs. And then we’ll make lots of money, and Quackity will be left to, you know, maybe have to make a deal with us, maybe have to be, maybe have to be our friend.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 22:59, 25th July)

“Ranboo, how do you feel about thievery? … I’m going to steal Las Nevadas’s cows to cook into our burgers. And I’m not going to rebreed them. I am going to simply kill them.” - (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 41:52, 25th July)

“Are you gonna steal all of them?” (Ranboo)

“Nah. Just enough that it’s annoying, you know?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s Healthy Competition: 42:14, 25th July)

“I gave him back all the materials, 'cause, I gave him all the materials for the wall, and I also, I also, uh, left him a diamond or two. Just to say like, you know, no hard feelings, you know, it was just for, just you know, just to, you know, prove a point.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:18, 4th Aug)

“Basically, Quackity’s here, and I just wanna, I just wanna see how he feels.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:32, 4th Aug)

“Normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, 'cause I’m not allowed in Las Nevadas, normally when I come to the Las Nevadas sign, Quackity is the first one to come and tell me to fuck off.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:43, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, man, it’s- Half of the fun of making something and doing cool things is that moment where everyone, you know, where you get to see what everyone feels about it.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 10:55, 4th Aug)

“Wait here, look, I promise you, just you wait. Just you wait. Ready? Ready? Are you ready? Are- Are you- Are you ready? Um… Uh…” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 11:06, 4th Aug)

“This guy. Ranboo, I swear to god, like I, I feel like I understand him, I feel like I know how his brain works, you know, how his- how the- how the cogs in his mind go. And then he just, and then he just goes and proves that he doesn’t give a shit.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 12:56, 4th Aug)

“Which is why I can’t wait to show off what I’ve done, to him. But, he’s just nowhere to be seen.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 13:12, 4th Aug)

“Oh, okay, you’re talking about- OHHHHH, look who’s here! Quackity! It’s lovely to see you, man, it’s been a while. How have you been?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:22, 4th Aug)

“Uh, I’ve just arrived, you know, I just arri- I, I haven’t been long for you. I, I wouldn’t- Quackity, you think, you think I’d wait for you?” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:35, 4th Aug)

“Yeah, it’s, it’s good to see you too, man.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 14:53, 4th Aug)

“Hey, man, you know, every- every, you know. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Small steps and that, you can’t-” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:17, 4th Aug)

“Dododododooo, that was a good joke, Quackity, you’re funny. Dododo, you’re very nice to me and you never bring up my past. Dododo.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 16:45, 4th Aug)

“Sorry if you noticed a little bit, you know, a little bit of superficial damage. I left you a little gift, as well, afterwards, I’m sure that’s okay. That was Ranboo and me, uh, did that, actually, to your restaurant. Ranboo and I.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 18:05, 4th Aug)

“Well, we’ve gotta go, we’ve gotta go. It was lovely, it was absolutely lovely hanging out with you. I, I am just thrilled that you liked the renovations.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:30, 4th Aug)

“Wait- Wait, I’m allowed in Las Nevadas?” (Alivebur)

“Wilbur, you’re not- You’re taking this the wrong way, man.” (Quackity)

“You told me I couldn’t come in and now-”

- (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 25:56, 4th Aug)

“You’re a good man. You’re a good man, Quackity. I’ll, I’ll give you that.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:29, 4th Aug)

“Ohh boy! Ha ha ha ha, ha! Oh, this is good, this is- this is exactly what I want. Did you see how- Dude, dude, Ranboo, he was trying act like I didn’t get to him.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 26:47, 4th Aug)

“He cares so much, he cares so much.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:06, 4th Aug)

“I feel alive, Ranboo, I feel alive. Someone’s looking at me and talking to me! I’m alive, I’m alive! This is great.” - (Wilbur’s Unhealthy Competition: 27:22, 4th Aug)

-He doesn’t love TNT. He self-harms with it

“Tommy, I don’t need armour. You don’t seem to understand…!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 11:24, 16th Oct)

“I am concerned. I’m being very careful, Tommy.” (Alivebur)

“Yeah but you’re not wearing any armour, or you don’t have any defences on you.” (Tommy)

“Well for what?” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s The Festival: 14:23, 16th Oct)

“I’m not crouching there’s no point! We’ll all be dead soon, it doesn’t matter!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 24:16, 17th Oct)

He’s let TNT explode on him and take away half his hearts when blowing up the corner of Quackity’s restaurant in “Healthy competition” (around 55:50)

He also self-harms by letting creepers blow up next to him, saying he doesn’t fear death even when he’s expressed to not want to go back to limbo and that he’s incredibly happy about being alive again:

“Tommy, listen to me, man. I don’t fear death, I don’t fear death, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s resurrected gentleman of L'manburg: 57:23, 5th May) (In this scene he let a creeper explode next to him)

Even Ghostbur showed some explosion trauma:

[Sees TNT placed] “Oh, no.” [Hears explosion] “Uhh… Guys I- I think I should go, I think I should go. … Yeah, I’m not too sure about all this.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 48:38, 22nd Apr)

“I don’t know, I just don’t- I don’t like the sound of those fireworks. … I don’t- I really, really don’t like the sound of the fireworks.” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:00, 22nd Apr)

“Okay, Tommy, I’ll go to Pogtopia. I just don’t wanna be- I don’t wanna be there. Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry, I’ll help you- I’ll get you more sand. Bye bye!” - (Tubbo’s Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy: 49:23, 22nd Apr)

-He’s as much of a person as everybody else on the SMP. Think about that

#tw suicide mention #tw suicide ideation #tw self harm mention #c!Wilbur #Wilbur #Wilbur Soot #Ghostbur #Revivedbur #dsmp #dream smp #long post #c!tommy #c!tubbo #c!dream #c!phil #c!niki #c!jack manifold #c!ranboo #c!schlatt #c!fundy #c!quackity #revivedbur #wilbur dream smp #wilbur analysis #this is SO LONG holy fuck #The bad takers better read this thing #consider this the I'm no longer asking #you either give an informed opinion or shut it #tnt duo #crimeboys

[qqueenofhades]

Hi! Since I saw you use the word "Putler" I'd like to ask for your point of view on the Hitler-Putin-comparisons that are being drawn.

Because - to me, so far - there just seems to be a tendency in Europe+North America to compare every big bad to Hitler and the Nazis. Sometimes it's more fitting than others. And I get that there is a certain similarity (attacking first and claiming it was only because the other side started/threatened for example, wanting "back" territory that's part of another country) and a sort of connection linking the two (Putin wanting to "denazify a country and its government lead by a Jewish president).

But personally it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Maybe because Nazis have been used so often as the Big Bad TM in movies etc as evil minions for the heroes to fight without really looking at the horror they caused and represented, that I'm not sure if people are drawing real comparisons or just go "bad guy in Europe? Hitler". I don't really know why I'm feeling so uncomfortable about this and I can put it into words even less, but I hope that you can at least partly understand where I'm coming from.

Anyways, I'd really love to hear your view on this

Okay. There are a few things to discuss here.

First, I obviously wrote that post in a sarcastic, off-the-cuff, snarky tone because as political satirists have known all the way since Ancient Greece, laughter is death to fear. That's why autocrats really, really, notoriously hate being laughed at, and why humor that targets people in (often cruel) power is funny, while humor that targets people who have already been oppressed and degraded isn't. (Think of the protestations of all the idiot white male comedians that they're being "cancelled," when what they're really doing is just being a dick to people who have had enough dickitude done to them for all of history.) If you can laugh at something or see it as ridiculous and worthy of mockery, you automatically become less afraid of it, and dictators rely on everyone being too afraid to challenge them. So if you mock Putin or point out the sheer idiocy of his plans (such as the bring-Yanukovych-back plan, which is indeed very, very stupid), you accordingly become less afraid of him. It's not that you're not taking it seriously, or lessening the real horror that people are going through, but Putin is doing this in large part because he wants to be respected and feared. When you do neither, you're destroying his mystique. Gallows humor has been a weapon in wartime since, again, the beginning of human history. In short, you're pulling the boogeyman out from under the bed and telling him to get lost, nobody is scared.

Second, there are other reasons to keep calling him that. As I have discussed before, almost the entire post-WWII Soviet/Russian national identity is built on its battle against Nazi Germany, the heroism of its collective sacrifice, and the part that it played in toppling Hitler. That's a large part of the reason Putin thought he could just invoke the "de-nazification" buzzword for his current Ukraine depraved adventurism and automatically have the Russian people support it. So if you're calling him "Putler," you're not only rejecting that propaganda argument (a guy who bombed Babi Yar, site of the 1941 massacre of 33,000 Jews that was so horrific even to the Nazis that they decided to use gas chambers instead, really, really has no leg to stand on anyway), but you're turning the one thing all of Russia is automatically preconditioned to hate back on Putin himself. If you're tying Putin's current actions to Hitler, you're opening the door for the Russians themselves to be like "yeah, that's not a good thing." By showing that Putin has taken the place of post-WWII Russia's collective and unquestioned villain, you're also tying that anchor around his neck in the court of domestic Russian public opinion, and that matters.

Third, if it walks like a Nazi, talks like a Nazi, hangs out with Nazis, and commits war crimes like a Nazi, it's probably a Nazi. All the people (still) voicing support for Putin in the west, such as the odious far-right Republican party members (though frankly, all of them are far-right by now), are longtime and open proponents of white supremacist/fascist rhetoric and neo-Nazi groups. The national embarrassment from Georgia, Marjorie QAnon Greene, just spoke at a white supremacist conference where the organizers led cheers for Putin. He has been held up as the defender of "white Christian traditional values," which is almost always a dogwhistle for latent or overt Nazi sympathies and white supremacist groups, and received admiration from many of those same people. If the only people supporting Putin in this conflict are those who pal around and court the support of Nazis, it's pretty fair to say that their ideological platforms are largely aligned. In fact, even Tucker Carlson, the rabidly pro-Russia mouthpiece on Fox News, has been trying to walk back some of his Putin worship due to it, apparently, running the risk of reminding people that the modern GOP are fascist zealots. Whoops.

Fourth, the similarities do go beyond merely "crass land grab in Europe against a sovereign nation and/or prominent Jewish people." Both Hitler and Putin legitimized themselves with a twisted appeal to their country's imagined and/or actual imperial history; Hitler with the medieval German Holy Roman Empire, Putin with the USSR and Russian Empire. Both of these messages overtly demonized and stigmatized anyone who was perceived as fitting outside this ethnic/national/religious ideal, and cultivated a sense of grievance and victimhood among the German/Russian people. They were the ones who had really been hurt; their suffering was worse, and so they were justified in carving out "lebensraum" for their master race. Hitler courted the support of the institutional church, and Putin has done the same with the Russian Orthodox church.

Hitler obviously said the quiet part aloud, but Putin has been busy cultivating this same sense of racial and linguistic grievance. Ever since Yanukovych's overthrow and the annexation of Crimea in 2014, the Kremlin has been going on and on about how the new Ukrainian government was supposedly unjustly persecuting Russian-speakers in the east of Ukraine and separatist Donetsk/Luhansk, how Russia is under threat from Ukraine (somehow, apparently), and even used the wording of "the Ukrainian question" in the editorial that was scheduled to be published after the Russian forces had completed their 48-hour triumphant victory. (You may have noticed that that, uh, did not happen.) That explicitly echoes the wording of the "Jewish question" that preoccupied Hitler and the Nazi party, and in both cases, the "final solution" evidently amounted to outright ethnic and cultural genocide. Or at least, we have troubling indications that that's what Putin personally believes (witness his unhinged rant about Ukraine having no right to exist as a state or separate entity), regardless of how successfully his forces are ultimately able to put it into action. (Likewise, Zelenskyy, aside from being Jewish, speaks Russian as his first language, making it even more incredible that the Kremlin is painting him as the head of a nefarious anti-Russian movement, but facts never get in the way of a good war.)

Putin might not have embarked on the same systemic, nationwide extermination program as Hitler, but he's long since been known for killing his political enemies and ruthlessly quashing all dissent, building a hollowed-out yes-man, cult-of-personality political apparatus that is answerable only to him. He's also recently gone full totalitarian in regard to trying to stop protests at home. Mothers with young kids who went to lay flowers at the Ukrainian embassy in Moscow were brutally arrested and taken to police stations; there are reports of people getting visited in the middle of the night and threatened to support the government or else, protesters are being forced to recant or lose their jobs, the penalty for even calling the war a war has been increased to 15 years in jail and a sentence of treason, and so forth. While this echoes the worst tactics of the 1930s Soviet Purge and the standard approach of the USSR-era KGB where Putin was trained, it also recalls Hitler's domestic reign of terror via the Gestapo and the SS, where "thoughtcrime," as George Orwell would call it, was considered to be just as much a threat. Russia's attacks in Chechnya, Syria, and the Crimea have also carried a racialized element of threat, and we've all seen how racism is on ugly display in this conflict. People of color get beaten up while trying to flee Ukraine and western newsreaders overtly describe Ukrainians as "looking like us" with "blue eyes and blonde hair" and "coming from civilized places." Not to mention their insistence on calling it "medieval." Okay then.

Likewise, the Nazis killed gay men, Russia infamously introduced its anti-gay law in 2013 (since fascism, white supremacy, misogyny, and homophobia go hand in hand), and both political movements grew out of national instability, post-war economic wreckage, and populist fear. After the disaster of WWI, Germany was reorganized as the Weimar Republic, but the Nazis came to power only ten years later amidst a widespread economic meltdown and promised safety and stability. After the disaster of the Cold War, Russia was reorganized as a "democracy" under Boris Yeltsin, but Putin then came to power about ten years later amidst a widespread economic meltdown and promised safety and stability. Hitler was chancellor for 6 years before he started WWII; Putin has been more patient at playing the long game, focused more on generating enormous wealth for himself and his inner circle rather than going straight to the persecution part. Hitler was admired in America (the Nazis' policy of extermination of "inferior" people was directly inspired by the American eugenics movement) and propped up by Americans such as Charles Lindbergh who thought he was a great guy. Putin is admired in America, etc etc, Donald Trump and the entire Republican party, etc. Hitler's invasion of Poland in 1939, Putin's invasion of Ukraine in 2022. Etc.

Anyway, I could doubtless say more, but I think you get the point. There are good reasons to stick Putin with that label, whether it be mocking him, pointing it out to the Russian people themselves, making the west actually think twice about how goddamn eager it has been to embrace right-wing Nazi analogues and copycat populist parties, or driving home the historical comparison and the danger that the world faces of sleepwalking right back into its previous mistakes. Or at least, so we can dearly hope it doesn't.

#travellingdragon #ask #history #modern history #russian history #russia ukraine war

[starpeace]

okay, so, kamino. it’s not even like kamino had produced clone armies for anyone in the galaxy before, because nobody has ever heard of kamino at all. so one (1) jedi shows up, and they’re like you know what, yes, sure, we WILL devote all our resources to developing a clone army for the next decade, despite never having even operated on this business model before. and this one (1) jedi, right, he’s not even really on the council, he has zero government authority. he is straight up lying and the entire planet buys it, and then a sith shows up to make a few evil modifications to that order, and they’re like, sure

did sifo-dyas put down a deposit? because otherwise kamino is doing this, for ten years, with zero republic funding or communication. (yes i know sidious stepped in but at the very least, this is what they are pretending they did, and this was sifo-dyas’ plan that he thought would work fine.) did sifo-dyas fucking embezzle the jedi order treasury without them ever noticing? where else would he get that kind of money for a deposit for millions of human beings? and it seems to be canon that sifo-dyas WAS literally just a jedi who was having visions that the jedi needed an army to avoid perishing so he just, you know, went out and ordered one, because fuck the council i guess, and sidious found out about this, or maybe inspired it in the first place with spooky sith powers, and only then did sidious intervene in the GAR’s creation. first of all pour one out for sifo-dyas who invented creating his own problems but the reason i’m bringing this up is not because it’s a canon detail that makes me hysterical, but because sifo-dyas was not knowingly in league with palpatine so palpatine could not have given sifo-dyas the deposit. where did you get the money sifo-dyas???

who paid for the clone army? in tcw the kaminoans talk about contracts and it’s obvious the republic is nearly bankrupting itself to pay for the clones. so can we be clear that in aotc the kaminoans did not show up like hey, here’s your free army, bought and paid for! the republic had to cough up the entire cost in like the two seconds between finding out kamino existed and the first battle of geonosis. which nobody questioned apparently. not to mention, where the fuck did the republic get an entire GAR’s worth of warships with five minutes’ notice of the fact that they even had a GAR, so i assume they had to shell out for those too. do the kaminoans produce the clone armour? where is the food for the clones coming from, who’s paying for that? because i don’t feel like i’m reaching when i say kamino is not an agricultural centre.

anyway the point of this post got lost in here somewhere but i think the point is i’d love to see an au where the republic finds out about the clone army in aotc and they’re like. you know when you see something really nice you want to buy and then you see the price tag and it’s suddenly not looking so nice? that. kamino and sidious spend 10 years developing a clone army to destroy the jedi and the senate is like hmmmmm idk man it’s a little out of our price range. and then they just draft an army like in every other war which they were presumably planning to have to do anyway! and the clones are just. there. like oh. there goes our life purpose. like where does the galaxy even go from here

#star wars is truly a franchise like one of the franchises of all time even

[incorrectquotesconaisseur]

SO GUYSSSS I JUST FINISHED READING RULE OF WOLVES AND WHAT THE HELL???? I am a MESS

(so here are my thoughts that I had while reading it)

❗❗RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS❗❗

• Lol Nikolai has a horse named Punchline, I love him so much

• Sankta Zoya Y E S

• Nina is sooo badass I love her - Brum needs to die btw

• Fjerda is a little shit

• "If not for Nina, their blessed termite eating at the heart of Fjerda’s government" - did I mention I love Nina?????

• Nikolai is a freaking mastermind and I love him

• OMG THEY HAVE AN ANTIDOTE FOR PAREM NOW???? HELL YEAH take THAT Fjerda!!!!

• Nina adopting Kaz's mindset when back at the Ice Court is what I live for

• UGH THE APPARAT

• Nikolai is soooo in love with Zoya I AM GOING CRAZY

• Zoya's "you forget that in Kerch greed is a virtue" gave me MAJOR Kaz vibes... I miss my crow babies

• Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't really like Ehri

• ZOYALAI NATION, HOW ARE WE??? ARE WE CRYING?

• I just REALLY love the found family trope and seeing everyone gathered in Zoya's rooms and Zoya curled up on the couch next to Genya I just AAAAAAAAA

• I absolutely adore the whole concept of the Darkling's prison and the CONSTANT sunlight he has to face HA - Alina vibes

• OMG "bring me Alina Starkov" WHAT THE FUCK I have literal chills ESPECIALLY after seeing the S&B trailer:)

• Nina being so confident in everything she learned from the Crows gives me so much serotonin I WANT MY BABIESSS

• Oh my god... I like prince Rasmus, he gives me major Nikolai vibes

• I draw immense satisfaction from Kaz and Zoya using "podge" as their preferred curse word :))))

• NIKOLAI CAN SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM HIS DEMON???? King behavior

• HOLY SHIT ALINA AGREED TO THE MEETING here we go again, fam

• I'm seeing Nikolai talking a lot about accepting his death and being undisturbed by the prospect of it and it feeaks me out - if he dies, I die with him

• Random, but: they need to get the thorn stuff from the Order of Sankt Feliks or whatever, right??? Maybe they have to steal it... and they would require expertise... MAYBE SOME CROWS PLS???????? (I am such a clown)

• Okay wait... so the letters that prove Nikolai is a bastard are in the druskelle sector... PLEASE TELL ME NINA HAS TO BREAK IN THE ICE COURT the fact that she is back there ALONE makes my heart clench so hard... I MISS MY CROWS

• FUCK ALINA SHOWED UP (also Oncat apparently and now I want to cry about Harshaw again)... AND MAL I can't take this I AM HYPERVENTILATING

• I AM LEGIT ON THE FLOOR Yuri is still there FINALLY understanding that the Darkling is evil AND NOW MY MAIN MAN GOT HIS POWERS BACK oh, I love the chaos

• NIKOLAI FUCKING CARRIES ZOYA'S RIBBON IN HIS POCKET nobody fucking touch me

• THE WEDDING IS FOR GENYA AND DAVID????? I AM SOOO CONFUSED what the heck

• Nikoali is the most fucking badass amazing cunning freakishly intelligent idiot I have ever seen in my entire life, my love for him is immesurable, I cannot put into words just how awesome his awesomeness is TAKE THAT MAKHI YOU BITCH

• OH HELL NO the demon is trying to escape SMACK THAT BITCH NIKOLAI BABY

• Oh wow, Rasmus is crazyyyy af he isn't anything like Nikolai my perfect boi SORRY

• OMG Nikolai's dad us a good guy??? I feel so sorry for him... SO NIKOLAI WAS RIGHT TO BE A ROMANTIC huh

• FUCKING HELL again with the nichevo’ya???? Darkling bby, what the HECK

• Nononononooo NO NOOOO NOT DAVID WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH

• "This is what love does" one of the most powerful quotes tbh

• Wait... they want to???? STEAL??? titanium from the Kerch??? .... DOES THIS MEAN.... C R O W S?????

• Okay but... the Darkling's POV? POWER MOVE I love it!!! And the fact that he uses Aleksander as his name with zero reticence now is just *chef's kiss*

• I'm sorry but... I don't like Mayu's chapters I AM SO SORRY I DON'T

• Nina is my badass queen STEP ASIDE PEASANTS

• All these SoC Easter Eggs and mentions are driving me insane

• Idk why but imagining the Darkling drinking beer is sooo funny to me

• I AM LOSING MY SHIT they are in Ketterdam KETTERDAM does that mean ....DOES THAT MEAN ....I better see my Crows or I am throwing hands

• The Zoyalai conversations in this book are KILLING me

• OH MY FUCKING GOD so Kaz took the Emerald Palace over and renamed it THE SILVER SIX???? LIKE???? I AM LEGIT CRYING???

• Ummm...Zoya, honey, WHY do you want to VOLUNTARILY stay away from Nikolai, HUH?????

• THE ONLY REASON HE AGREED TO HELP NIKOLAI WAS BECAUSE HE GUARANTEES INEJ'S PROTECTION if that's not L O V E idk what is YAAASSS KANEJ

• FUCKING SHIT JESPER!!!! IT'S JESPER!!!! WYLAN!!!! I AM FAINTING MY BABIESS

• The Crows' banter is WHAT I LIVE FOR

• Kaz is the most cold, badass and calculating motherfucker on the planet, I love him soooo much

• No NO NOO JORAN IS THE ONE WHO KILLED MATTHIAS????? HOLY SHIT I am sooo scared LEIGH WHYYYY

• Kaz's reaction to Nikolai's demon is legit the funniest shit ever

• Kaz and Nikolai are bffs - THIS IS HEADCANON LEAVE ME BE

• Queen Leyti has severely disappointed me

• I am having waayyyyy too much fun reading about the Darkling among blindly faithful monks - this is the stuff of sitcoms

• (I know the Crows only had a cameo and they won't pop up again, but I can't help desperation wanting to see Nina reunite with them and PLEASE GIVE ME INEJ!!!)

• Honestly, it's pretty cool getting to have a look in the Darkling's head - it's SUPER fucked up

• OOOOO the blight vs the Darkling = the only confrontation I want to see

• FATHER AND SON REUNION

• I don't care much for Hanne x Nina, but I have to admit that they make a very cute couple

• FUCK THEY BROKE STURMHOND'S BLOCADE FUUUUCK

• WAIT NO it was their plan all along HOLY SHIT electricity RULEZZZZ who knew physics would prove THIS useful???

• UUUGHH FUCK THE APPARAT I am so sick of this guy - Zoya was right, they should have killed him

• I am really pissed at the Darkling- YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH RAVKA NEEDS YOUR HELP, YOU SEE NIKOLAI'S BRAVERY, YOU KNOW YOU CAM HELP, AND YOU DO NOTHING??? BRO WHAT THE FUCK

• HELL YEAH ZOYA IS A DRAGOOON fuck some shit up sweety Y E S

• MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY CROPS ARE WATERED BY THE DARKLING RAISING A MOB TO CALL ZOYA "SANKTA"

• Also... the Darkling winking at Nikolai? FLERT

• WHAT THE FUCK???? HANNE DIED??? holy shit, why???? WHY CAN'T NINA BE HAPPY???????

• Nikolai is an absolute SAVAGE in a debate

• Idk what to think abt Rasmus... he was kinda badass for standing up against Brum

• SOLDIER. SUMMONER. SAINT. slap me and call me a hoe I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT

• ZOYA AS QUEEN, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

• Okay I stan the Darkling again

• ZOYALAI IS CANON I REPEAT ZOYALAI IS CANONNNNN

• OKAY WOW HANNE IS A FULL-ON BADASS yep, I stan

• I really???? LOVE??? this ending for the Darkling??? Idk but it is VERY fitting

• ALINA!!!! AT ZOYA'S!!!! CORONATION!!!! my life is complete

• FUCKING SHIT INEJ!!! INEEEEEJJJJ my queen my love AAAAAA

• The conversation at the end between Alina, Zoya and Genya DESTROYED ME

• STEALING THE HEART OF SANKT FELIKS yes please BRING THE CROWS BACK!!!!! I NEED ANOTHER CROWS SEQUEL!!!!

• I fainted, I ascended, I DIED at the last page

• NOW I NEED A SEQUEL!!!

• Leigh, you ARE goig to write what happens next, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????

#rule of wolves #row #row spoilers #rule of wolves spoilers #leigh bardugo

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Content note for discussions of eternal damnation, and all sorts of other shit that will trigger a lot of folks with religious trauma.

Before I get started I might as well explain where I’m coming from - unlike a lot of She-Ra fans, and a lot of queer people, I don’t have much religious trauma, or any, maybe (okay there were a number of years I was convinced I was going to hell, but that happens to everyone, right?). I was raised a liberal Christian by liberal Christian parents in the Episcopal Church, where most of my memories are overwhelmingly positive. Fuck, growing up in the 90’s, Chuch was probably the only place outside my home I didn’t have homophobia spewed at me. Because it was the 90’s and it was a fucking hellscape of bigotry where 5 year olds knew enough to taunt each other with homophobic slurs and the adults didn’t know enough to realize how fucked up that was. Anyway. This is my experience, but it is an atypical one, and I know it. Quite frankly I know that my experience of Christianity has very little at all to do with what most people experienced, or what people generally mean when they talk about Christianity as a cultural force in America today. So if you were raised Christian and you don’t recognize your theology here, congrats, neither do I, but these ideas and cultural forces are huge and powerful and dominant. And it’s this dominant Christian narrative that I’m referring to in this post. As well as, you know, a children’s cartoon about lesbian rainbow princesses. So here it goes. This is going to get batshit.

"All events whatsoever are governed by the secret counsel of God." - John Calvin

“We’re all just a bunch of wooly guys” - Noelle Stevenson

This is a post triggered by a single scene, and a single line. It’s one of the most fucked-up scenes in She-Ra, toward the end of Save the Cat. Catra, turned into a puppet by Prime, struggles with her chip, desperately trying to gain control of herself, so lost and scared and vulnerable that she flings aside her own death wish and her pride and tearfully begs Adora to rescue her. Adora reaches out , about to grab her, and then Prime takes control back, pronounces ‘disappointing’ and activates the kill switch that pitches Catra off the platform and to her death (and seriously, she dies here, guys - also Adora breaks both her legs in the fall). But before he does, he dismisses Catra with one of his most chilling lines. “Some creatures are meant only for destruction.”

And that’s when everyone watching probably had their heart broken a little bit, but some of the viewers raised in or around Christianity watching the same scene probably whispered ‘holy shit’ to themselves. Because Prime’s line - which works as a chilling and callous dismissal of Catra - is also an allusion to a passage from the Bible. In fact, it’s from one of the most fucked up passages in a book with more than its share of fucked up passages. It’s from Romans 9:22, and I’m going to quote several previous verses to give the context of the passage (if not the entire Epistle, which is more about who needs to abide by Jewish dietary restrictions but was used to construct a systematic theology in the centuries afterwards because people decided it was Eternal Truth).

19 Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will?

20 Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?

21 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?

22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:

The context of the allusion supports the context in the show. Prime is dismissing Catra - serial betrayer, liar, failed conqueror, former bloody-handed warlord - as worthless, as having always been worthless and fit only to be destroyed. He is speaking from a divine and authoritative perspective (because he really does think he’s God, more of this in my TL/DR Horde Prime thing). Prime is echoing not only his own haughty dismissal of Catra, and Shadow Weaver’s view of her, but also perhaps the viewer’s harshest assessment of her, and her own worst fears about herself. Catra was bad from the start, doomed to destroy and to be destroyed. A malformed pot, cracked in firing, destined to be shattered against a wall and have her shards classified by some future archaeologist 2,000 years later. And all that’s bad enough.

But the full historical and theological context of this passage shows the real depth of Noelle Stevenson’s passion and thought and care when writing this show. Noelle was raised in Evangelical or Fundamentalist Christianity. To my knowledge, he has never specified what sect or denomination, but in interviews and her memoir Noelle has shown a particular concern for questions that this passage raises, and a particular loathing for the strains of Protestant theology that take this passage and run with it - that is to say, Calvinism. So while I’m not sure if Noelle was raised as a conservative, Calvinist Presbyterian, his preoccupation with these questions mean that it’s time to talk about Calvinism.

It would be unfair, perhaps, to say that Calvinism is a systematic theology built entirely upon the Epistles of Romans and Galatians, but only -just- (and here my Catholic readers in particular will chuckle to themselves and lovingly stroke their favorite passage of the Epistle of James). The core of Calvinist Doctrine is often expressed by the very Dutch acronym TULIP:

Total Depravity - people are wholly evil, and incapable of good action or even willing good thoughts or deeds

Unconditional Election - God chooses some people to save because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, not because they did anything to deserve, trigger or accept it

Limited Atonement - Jesus died only to save the people God chose to save, not the rest of us bastards

Irresistible Grace - God chooses some people to be saved - if you didn’t want to be saved, too bad, God said so.

Perseverance of the Saints - People often forget this one and assume it’s ‘predestination’ but it’s actually this - basically, once saved by God, always saved, and if it looks like someone falls out of grace, they were never saved to begin with. Well that’s all sealed up tight I guess.

Reading through these, predestination isn’t a single doctrine in Calvinism but the entire theological underpinnings of it together with humanity’s utter powerlessness before sin. Basically God has all agency, humanity has none. Calvinism (and a lot of early modern Protestantism) is obsessed with questions of how God saves people (grace alone, AKA Sola Fides) and who God saves (the people god elects and only the people God elects, and fuck everyone else).

It’s apparent that Noelle was really taken by these questions, and repelled by the answers he heard. He’s alluded to having a tattoo refuting the Gospel passage about Sheep and Goats being sorted at the end times, affirming instead that ‘we’re all just a bunch of wooly guys’ (you can see this goat tattoo in some of his self-portraits in comics, etc). He’s also mentioned that rejecting and subverting destiny is a huge part of everything he writes as a particular rejection of the idea that some individual people are 'chosen' by God or that God has a plan for any of us. You can see that -so clearly- in Adora’s arc, where Adora embraces and then rejects destiny time and again and finally learns to live life for herself.

But for Catra, we’re much more concerned about the most negative aspect of this - the idea that some people are vessels meant for destruction. And that’s something else that Noelle is preoccupied with. In her memoir in the section about leaving the church and becoming a humanistic atheist, there is a drawing of a pot and the question ‘Am I a vessel prepared for destruction?’ Obviously this was on Noelle’s mind (And this is before he came out to himself as queer!).

To look at how this question plays out in Catra’s entire arc, let’s first talk about how ideas of damnation and salvation actually play out in society. And for that I’m going to plug one of my favorite books, Gin Lun’s Damned Nation: Hell in America from the Revolution to Reconstruction (if you can tell by now, I am a fucking blast at parties). Lun tells the long and very interesting story about, how ideas of hell and who went there changed during the Early American Republic. One of the interesting developments that she talks about is how while at first people who were repelled by Calvinism started moving toward a doctrine of universal salvation (no on goes to hell, at least not forever*), eventually they decided that hell was fine as long as only the right kind of people went there. Mostly The Other - non-Christian foreigners, Catholics, Atheists, people who were sinners in ways that were not just bad but weird and violated Victorian ideas of respectability. Really, Hell became a way of othering people, and arguably that’s how it survives today, especially as a way to other queer people (but expanding this is slated for my Montero rant). Now while a lot of people were consciously rejecting Calvinist predestination, they were still drawing the distinction between the Elect (good, saved, worthwhile) and the everyone else (bad, damned, worthless). I would argue that secularized ideas of this survive to this day even among non-Christian spaces in our society - we like to draw lines between those who Elect, and those who aren’t.

And that’s what brings us back to Catra. Because Catra’s entire arc is a refutation of the idea that some people are worthless and irredeemable, either by nature, nurture or their own actions. Catra’s actions strain the conventions of who is sympathetic in a Kid’s cartoon - I’ve half joked that she’s Walter White as a cat girl, and it’s only half a joke. She’s cruel, self-deluded, she spends 4 seasons refusing to take responsibility for anything she does and until Season 5 she just about always chooses the thing that does the most damage to herself and others. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, the show goes out of its way to demonstrate that Catra is morally culpable in every step of her descent into evil (except maybe her break with reality just before she pulls the lever). The way that Catra personally betrays everyone around her, the way she strips herself of all of her better qualities and most of what makes her human, hell even her costume changes would signal in any other show that she’s irredeemable.

It’s tempting to see this as Noelle’s version of being edgy - pushing the boundaries of what a sympathetic character is, throwing out antiheroics in favor of just making the villain a protagonist. Noelle isn’t quite Alex ‘I am in the business of traumatizing children’ Hirsch, who seems to have viewed his job as pushing the bounds of what you could show on the Disney Channel (I saw Gravity Falls as an adult and a bunch of that shit lives rent free in my nightmares forever), but Noelle has his own dark side, mostly thematically. The show’s willingness to deal with abuse, and messed up religious themes, and volatile, passionate, not particularly healthy relationships feels pretty daring. I’m not joking when I gleefully recommend this show to friends as ‘a couple from a Mountain Goats Song fights for four seasons in a cartoon intended for 9 year olds’. Noelle is in his own way pushing the boundaries of what a kids show can do. If you read Noelle’s other works like Nimona, you see an argument for Noelle being at least a bit edgy. Nimona is also angry, gleefully destructive, violent and spiteful - not unlike Catra. Given that it was a 2010s webcomic and not a kids show, Nimona is a good deal worse than Catra in some ways - Catra doesn’t kill people on screen, while Nimona laughs about it (that was just like, a webcomic thing - one of the fan favorite characters in my personal favorite, Narbonic, was a fucking sociopath, and the heroes were all amoral mad scientists, except for the superintelligent gerbil**). But unlike Nimona, whose fate is left open ended, Catra is redeemed.

And that is weird. We’ve had redemption arcs, but generally not of characters with -so- much vile stuff in their history. Going back to the comparison between her and Azula, many other shows, like Avatar, would have made Catra a semi-sympathetic villain who has a sob-story in their origin but who is beyond redemption, and in so doing would articulate a kind of psychologized Calvinism where some people are too traumatized to ever be fully and truly human. I’d argue this is the problem with Azula as a character - she’s a fun villain, but she doesn’t have moral agency, and the ultimate message of her arc - that she’s a broken person destined only to hurt people - is actually pretty fucked up. And that’s the origin story of so many serial killers and psycopaths that populate so many TV shows and movies. Beyond ‘hurt people hurt people’ they have nothing to teach us except perhaps that trauma makes you a monster and that the only possible response to people doing bad things is to cut them out of your life and out of our society (and that’s why we have prisons, right?)

And so Catra’s redemption and the depths from which she claws herself back goes back to Noelle’s desire to prove that no person is a vessel ‘fitted for destruction.’ Catra goes about as far down the path of evil as we’ve ever seen a protagonist in a kids show go, and she still has the capacity for good. Importantly, she is not subject to total depravity - she is capable of a good act, if only one at first. Catra is the one who begins her own redemption (unlike in Calvinism, where grace is unearned and even unwelcomed) - because she wants something better than what she has, even if its too late, because she realizes that she never wanted any of this anyway, because she wants to do one good thing once in her life even if it kills her.

The very extremity of Catra’s descent into villainy serves to underline the point that Noelle is trying to make - that no one can be written off completely, that everyone is capable of change, and that no human being is garbage, no matter how twisted they’ve become. Meanwhile her ability to set her own redemption in motion is a powerful statement of human agency, and healing, and a refutation of Calvinism’s idea that we are powerless before sin or pop cultural tropes about us being powerful before the traumas of our upbringing. Catra’s arc, then, is a kind of anti-Calvinist theological statement - about the nature of people and the nature of goodness.

Now, there is a darker side to this that Noelle has only hinted at, but which is suggested by other characters on the show. Because while Catra’s redemption shows that people are capable of change, even when they’ve done horrible things, been fucked up and fucked themselves up, it also illustrates the things people do to themselves that make change hard. As I mentioned in my Catra rant, two of the most sinister parts of her descent into villainy are her self-dehumanization (crushing her own compassion and desire to do good) and her rewriting of her own history in her speech and memory to make her own actions seem justified (which we see with her insistence that Adora left her, eliding Adora’s offers to have Catra join her, or her even more clearly false insistence that Entrapta had betrayed them). In Catra, these processes keep her going down the path of evil, and allow her to nearly destroy herself and everyone else. But we can see the same processes at work in two much darker figures - Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime. These are both rants for another day, but the completeness of Shadow Weaver’s narcissistic self-justification and cultivated callousness and the even more complete narcissism of Prime’s god complex cut both characters off from everyone around them. Perhaps, in a theoretical sense, they are still redeemable, but for narrative purposes they might as well be damned.

This willingness to show a case where someone -isn’t- redeemed actually serves to make Catra’s redemption more believable, especially since Noelle and the writers draw the distinction between how Catra and SW/Prime can relate to reality and other people, not how broken they are by their trauma (unlike Zuko and Azula, who are differentiated by How Fucked Uolp They Are). Redemption is there, it’s an option, we can always do what is right, but someone people will choose not to, in part because doing the right thing involves opening ourselves to the world and others, and thus being vulnerable. Noelle mentions this offhandedly in an interview after Season 1 with the She-Ra Progressive of Power podcast - “I sometimes think that shades of grey, sympathetic villains are part of the escapist fantasy of shows like this.” Because in the real world, some people are just bastards, a point that was particularly clear in 2017. Prime and Shadow Weaver admit this reality, while Catra makes a philosophical point that even the bastards can change their ways (at least in theory).

*An idea first proposed in the second century by Origen, who’s a trip and a fucking half by himself, and an idea that becomes the Catholic doctrine of purgatory, which protestants vehemently denied!

**Speaking of favorite Noelle tropes

#she ra horde prime #she ra #she ra catra #she ra spoilers #redemption arcs #toxic religion

[captainsimagines]

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Five

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 5 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.

Warnings in this Chapter: mentions of male masturbation and boners (lol); strong language; references to suicide, murder, and drug smuggling; abusive parental relationship; mentions of child death in a second flashback; dry humping (smut); 18+ only please!

Word Count: 16,500+

A/N: damn that chapter warning list was a trip to write down lmao

~

Westview, 2023, 1:32 pm

     An uncomfortable silence spread throughout the parked vehicle, daring either of you to take the first step. No one commented on the glares boring into your soul as you drove through the town or how heavily the three of you got patted down by the authorities right outside the state line. You figured it was completely justified - still a little insulting to a bunch of Avengers who literally saved the world three weeks ago. 

With a loud gulp, Bucky was the first to kick open his door and get out of the car. You glanced at Steve from the driver’s seat, biting your lip with a slight quiver as you went over the speech you practiced earlier today. Simple enough, and not too damning. 

Steve’s leg bounced rapidly a few more times before he too kicked open his door, leaving you in silence. You pulled the car keys from the ignition and took in a deep breath. Your legs were numb, the anxiety washing over you in uneven cycles. It was now or never. 

“Wanda, it’s us…”

Her grief seemed to emit from every crack in the sidewalk, every weak beg escaping the townspeople’s throats, every sound from the inanimate objects her powers had continued to turn from gray to red… to green… back to gray. She was crouched on the property, weeds brushing against her black pants and leaving their mark, mascara smudged with each new wet streak. 

Bucky unzipped his jacket, eyes wandering over the deserted plot of land as Wanda tried to control her sobs. She had already caused enough damage, both physical and psychological, the possibility of more government involvement looming over your heads. He carefully walked toward her and wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, all be damned as he held her and began to tear up himself.

“Wanda, you’re okay. You’re safe. We’ll get through this,” Steve sighed, still keeping a respectable distance from her in case she were to run. But you knew her better - she was all out of fight. One fight after another and yet she still lost her love. 

“I did something really bad,” she sobbed, eyes locked on the spot where Vision had just disappeared. Again.

“No, you didn’t know what you were doing,” Steve declared, shocked by the unexpected scoff from Bucky. 

“Save it, Steve. She may not have known in the beginning but she does now. She still did it.”

No one dared correct Bucky or argue with that logic because if anyone knew about causing harm with absolutely no intention, it was obviously him. Taking responsibility - that was the best course of action. 

Once you heard of a radioactive disturbance in a small town just outside the state, the team almost retired completely. So soon after defeating Thanos, so soon after Tony’s death, so soon after Natasha’s death - the team left it up to the proper authorities this time around. 

But the second you watched the broadcast of Wanda’s fantasies, the sitcom her powers were conjuring, her giving birth to her children… all you could do was wait until she opened the barrier. 

“I still did it,” Wanda said, her upper body beginning to rock back and forth as her fingertips brightened with red tendrils of magical grief. 

You shut your eyes and willed yourself not to cry. You had done so much crying these past few years and you were oh, so tired. You couldn’t possibly take another beating. 

“Hey, hey. Look at me,” Bucky spoke, gently turning Wanda’s face and placing both his hands on her cheeks, mindful of the metal appendage he had forgotten to cover with his glove. “You already did it. It can’t be undone. But you can come with us and grieve properly.”

Wanda reached up and placed her hands over his, tears spilling from her eyes faster now. 

“Let us help you grieve.”

This wasn’t an unexpected goodbye. Wanda knew that. She had just voluntarily given up her husband and children - anyone would crumble from that sort of devastation. But now she had been given a proper goodbye, a somewhat proper closure, and the chance to accept it. “Okay.”

You and Steve remained frozen in place even after Bucky helped Wanda stand. Almost as quickly as you thought it, your feet had a mind of their own. You stood next to Steve, taking in the weed infested, rectangular plot of land - the remnants of Wanda’s fantasy still fresh and creating a tiny, refreshing tingle in the middle of your chest. You looked over at Steve and smiled sadly when you saw him inspecting the area as well. 

“They would have had a beautiful life together.”

Steve’s breath hitched as you finished your declaration, looking over at you and nodding slightly. 

“If I had the chance, I would have wanted a nice house with some decent air conditioning. Some weird, front yard garden where I could plant random flowers. A dog that dug them up and acted like it didn’t do it.”

You giggled, thumbnail between your incisors to try and disguise the wider grin forming. Steve kept speaking. 

“Maybe a kid or two. Never actually checked if I could even have kids after the serum.”

You dropped your hand from your face, your attention completely on him now. 

Steve sighed and kicked a rock over to the other side of the property. “I would have wanted a giant, king-sized bed. With ‘his’ and ‘hers’ towels. And every once in a while we would accidentally use the other one’s toothbrush, a secret we would take to the grave.”

Steve wasn’t even looking over at you as he said this. It was like a one-sided confession, rhetorical, not needing an immediate response or expression in return. And you couldn’t believe he was just saying this in front of you - you of all people - the same person who rolled their eyes whenever Steve struggled to comprehend a modern topic or argued with him when he was in one of his moods. He had been distant the last few weeks after returning the stones, only ever noticing you when other people were around to carry a conversation. 

The tingles in your chest were starting to disappear as the plot of land gave its last few magical rumbles. 

“Steve?”

Steve bowed his head, hands in his pockets and breath steady. “Yes, they would have been very happy together.”

You stared at the back of his head as he slowly walked back to the car.  

Present Day, 2025, 8:10 am

     The amount of times you reminded yourself to wake up early as you were drifting off to sleep last night was perhaps more than the number of sheep you had ever counted in your life. A quick reminder here and there as your mind got clogged with pointless information, the number eight behind your eyelids all throughout the night. 

And you did it. In the early hours of the morning, knowing Steve would wake naturally in about twenty minutes, you tip-toed out of bed to use the bathroom. Acting completely normal in case he did in fact hear you before your grand plan - an easy escape route if he decided to repeat his horrible morning ritual on you. But he was such an old man, getting older, losing that serum’s boost. This Steve, Steve who refused to call any movie made after 1945 ‘old’ because he literally didn’t get the chance to see them premiere - yeah, this Steve, was passed out like he had been hit by a truck. 

Bladder empty and teeth brushed, you quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked through. He still lay there on his back, wrapped tightly in his blanket, breathing steadily, and face completely unprotected. 

Could you die? Probably. Would this payback be absolutely satisfying? Hell yeah. 

You grabbed the biggest of your pillows and fisted the corner tightly, twisting it a couple times for a better grip. You signed the cross quickly before lifting the pillow above your head and bringing it down to Steve’s face. 

Steve’s eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up, “WHAT?”

His eyes flew around the room rapidly until they landed on you, angry and challenging.

“Payback!” you yelled, lifting the pillow high again for a second hit. But he reacted quicker, grabbing a pillow himself and swinging it toward you. It slammed you in the torso and practically sent you flying. You landed at the edge of your bed, mouth open in shock and racks of laughter bubbling deep within your chest. You stood quickly and hit him repeatedly, trying your best to also block his counterattack. 

He reached for your hip and pulled you in his bed, rolling the two of you over so he was straddling your hips. He brought the pillow down several more times before accepting your plea of surrender. 

You threw the pillow back to your bed and pouted, “Not a fair fight!”

Steve scoffed, “You caught me off guard! You had all the advantages!”

You shuffled beneath him and froze, hips stuck in a lifted position as you were too embarrassed to move them back down. “Jesus, Steve! How do you even sleep on your stomach with that thing?”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows as he inspected your face and body, looking down at the two of you before he noticed the way he was pressing into your inner thigh. He scrambled off you, a blush spreading from his cheeks and all the way down his chest. He cupped himself and turned away, quickly shuffling for his suitcase and pulling whatever clothes his flustered hands grabbed. He was also repeatedly apologizing. 

“Steve, it’s okay. It just… startled me, is all.”

Steve cleared his throat a couple times before pacing around the room in search of his toiletries. 

You just sat back on your elbows, watching him scurry like a chicken with its head cut off. It was rather amusing. 

“I’m gonna - gonna, take a shower. Uh, I’m sorry again.”

You smirked at the super soldier, “Steve, I’m not mad. It isn’t like I’m new to that kind of thing.”

Steve blushed harder, “But I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

You shrugged your shoulders and dipped lower into his sheets, grabbing and lifting them higher. You snuggled deeper, “Still.”

Steve could feel the speed at which the world rotated and he shut the bathroom door behind him. He leaned against it, breathing deeply until he had all his inhibitions back. 

He didn’t know what was more embarrassing - reacting the way he did or you seeing him react the way he did. It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t seen each other in awkward situations, some borderline lewd. There were plenty of missions that involved heavy flirting with the targets, undercover work in depraved settings, missions where nasty magic was involved and concocted a multitude of inappropriate visions. Hell, everyone had already seen each other naked. It was completely normal, a trustworthy environment, and sometimes necessary. 

As much as he wanted to give into the feeling and award himself some proper alone time, he refused to act upon it. He would regret it later once the stress pushed down harder than usual, but it just wasn’t appropriate in his right mind to masturbate with you in the other room. 

Why did he have to be such a good and honorable man?

He busied himself with washing his hair and scrubbing away any evidence of sleep from his face. Steve liked sleeping on his stomach, face smooshed in the pillows and arms extended to his sides. It allowed for more comfortable movement, more ways to stretch his hips, just overall comfort for his massive shoulders. Less pressure on the lungs, too. And unlike the enthusiastic yet almost mean accusation that he couldn’t possibly enjoy that position because of his… well, his dick, Steve would choose that position over sleeping on his back any day. But that morning, his body had decided to betray him in more ways than one. One, he was open to attack because he was on his back. And two, whatever dream he was having caused his morning wood to seem larger this morning.

He had washed up quickly, more time spent out of the shower where he fixed his hair and combed his beard. He thought about shaving it for the rehearsal dinner or wedding, but it gave him a more rugged look - like he was all tough and no funny business. As ridiculous as it sounded, the beard allowed him to lean into the criminal act easier, build a fake personality that already had your father eating out of his hand. 

Opening the bathroom door and having to face the music, Steve was almost certain you would continue to tease him. But you were already munching on the breakfast you had ordered, shoveling hash browns in your mouth as you swiped the mouse through pages and pages of intel. You didn’t even look up as he crossed the room to grab a pair of pants he had forgotten to pick up during his quick escape. That settled his nerves almost instantly and he was dressed and settled next to you soon after.

You worked in silent cooperation for a long while, handing each other files and passing phone calls like you had during every other mission before. Except now it was more comfortable, pleasant, and kind - the soft sounds from the television in the corner, the humming of the desktop, the soft hums of recognition whenever you two showed each other something. You didn’t even bother with what happened in the morning, if it really was anything at all, because you honestly found it normal. You were more focused on the conversation you had last night. 

Steve had offered to kill your father if you seriously couldn’t. Just thinking about his offer caused your stomach to turn. Because yes, you wanted him dead. You wanted to snap his neck in ten different places and feed him to scavengers. You wanted to steal his business from under him and tear it apart, bit by bit, and keep him alive long enough to see you do it. You wanted to see the look in his eyes when you revealed that you double-crossed him. And as the day inched closer, the overwhelming feeling of shame pushed down on your shoulders and swallowed your mind. Once your father was dead, you and Steve would never find true peace. His men would always follow you, probably take you down at the local coffee shop you and Peter frequented. 

The thought of dying in front of Peter caused a lump to form in your throat. No, you wouldn’t do that to your friends. You couldn’t do this to Steve. 

But you had to. Because even though your life will never be yours after this mission, you had to save the countless others your father was sure to touch and ruin. 

But was your life ever truly yours?

Steve’s voice pulled you from your clouded mind. 

“Huh?” 

“I asked if you wanted the last piece of fruit.” 

You looked at Steve then at the small piece of watermelon in the bowl, then back at Steve. He had a pen in between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked, and slightly puffy eyes due to the beer heavy sleep he had last night. You looked away as quickly as you could and stared back at the fruit, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. 

Ridiculous, you thought. Just looking at Steve had flustered you, squeezing your stomach in pleasurable pulses you hadn’t felt since high school. “No, no. You can have it,” you said, hoping your voice wouldn’t crack. 

Ridiculous. 

Steve watched you with a funny smile but he took your word and scooped up the last piece for himself. 

No, you thought again, this man will not give me freaking butterflies. 

It wasn’t like it was odd. Steve had you flustered countless times before, but it was never quite as tingly as it was now. You suddenly wanted to facetime Wanda and rant about these weird feelings; you wanted to curl in on yourself and squeal; you wanted to -

    “He’s what?”

You sat on your knees and leaned over the back of the couch, chin resting on your folded arms as you watched Steve pace around the common room. He was tugging at his dress shirt repeatedly, desperately trying to attach cufflinks without additional help. Sam sat right beside you, in the same position, snickering each time Steve cursed under his breath. 

“He’s nervous,” Bucky smirked, arm holding out Steve’s tie for the past five minutes. Steve had paced beside him various times already, completely oblivious. 

Steve groaned and readjusted his collar, snapping his head toward the three of you. “I’m not nervous.”

“You’re sweating buckets, man,” Sam pointed out, one of his hands discreetly opening up his camera and switching to video. 

“What if she doesn’t like me?” 

Bucky threw his head back and cackled, choosing to grab Steve and steady him to finally put that damn tie around his neck. “Same old, Steve. Can’t accept that a dame would ever possibly like you back.”

“Hey, Steve don’t worry about it,” you started, shooting Steve a sympathetic look. Steve glanced back at you, expression swiftly changing due to your kind tone. “... when I was in high school,-”

Steve released a loud grunt, rolling his eyes and stepping away from Bucky’s hands. 

Sam rolled over and clutched his stomach as he laughed, pulling you into him. The two of you shook from your laughs together. 

“Guys,” Bucky warned, reaching for Steve in a ‘grabby’ motion. “Give him a break.”

Steve reluctantly stood beside Bucky again, head tilted upward as he tried wrapping the tie back around his neck. 

None of you heard the entrance of Thor and his brother, too busy with bullying, laughter, or moderating. 

“Did we miss all the fun?”

You shot up from the ground, kicking Sam away as you rushed across the floor and stumbled over the rug. “Thor!”

You rushed into his arms and he gripped you tightly, swinging you around and loud laughter matching yours. 

“Now, why wasn’t I greeted in a similar manner?” Loki questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You pulled your face from Thor’s shoulder, “Oh, you want this too?”

You jumped back onto the floor and were about to jump into Loki’s arms, but he held his own out, stopping you. “It’s too late. It’s not the same.”

“Piss baby,” you quipped, rushing behind Thor for protection when Loki’s mouth dropped in surprise. 

“Can everyone stop what they’re doing real quick and tell Steve his date is going to go well tonight?”

You rolled your eyes at Bucky’s favor, but he just raised his eyebrows, challenging you to disobey the order. 

“The Captain has a date? Are they okay?”

Loki and you shared a comical gasp. 

Steve gaped, “Now, what in the world does that mean, Thor?”

Thor raised his hands in defense, “I’m just asking if she truly knows what she’s getting herself into! Don’t try and tell me she has no idea who you are.”

Steve was back to groaning nonstop. Bucky threw his hands up in the air, “I ask one thing of you guys. One thing.”

You stomped over to Steve and ripped the half-tied tie from his neck and smoothed down his collar. You patted down his shoulders and the front of his shirt, and gripped his shoulders to straighten his back. 

“Now,” you smiled up at him. The breath caught in your throat for a second, the blue of his eyes shining under the ceiling lights and the pink of his cheeks spreading slowly. You let out a tiny sigh, heart fluttering faintly from the small grin he was giving you. He looked so innocent, a renaissance subject created from light oils, signs of true aging showing in his forehead. “Whatever date you got planned, she’s gonna love it.”

Steve relished in the feeling of your palms pressed against his chest for a few moments before he nodded at your declaration. He stepped back and smoothed down his shirt. “Wish me luck?”

A chorus of ‘good luck’s sounded as Steve found his keys and shared a goodnight hug with Sam and Bucky. They both jokingly reminded him to use protection. 

You watched Steve leave, a newfound bounce in his step as he walked away. Your words had been so simple, so cliche, and yet he had dropped any visible nerves as he walked out the door. You weren’t the best motivational speaker, that was for sure, but the proof of at least an ounce of motivation was there. Maybe your words held a hidden meaning. Maybe.

You thought about him picking up this random woman, wine and dining her, kissing her cheek as he said his goodbyes at the end of the night. It was somewhat adorable to think about, but also weird.

Before you could dive more into the strange feeling, Thor’s voice sounded. 

“Should we order pizza or chinese?”

It’s like that snapped you from your trance, because next thing you knew you were back to your playful self, sprinting across the room and into Loki’s arms. 

     You cherished the slight, pleasant churn of your stomach as you watched him happily munch on the fruit. 

Okay, it was normal to have a tiny crush on your mission partner. God knows how many times you wanted to jump Thor’s bones whenever you were undercover together. A crush was normal, completely natural and expected. 

Except you had never gotten so much sane joy from a simple question of whether you wanted the last piece of fruit. 

You blinked a few times and shook off any trace of overthinking devils, grabbing at random files to occupy your mind for a while. After about fifteen more minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke.

“So, we think Ramirez is gonna get straight up murdered?”

Steve snorted, filing through a pile of papers Torres had delivered this morning. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but sure.”

“But it’s just a theory at this point. We can’t just go in guns blazing without enough proof.”

“And if there is proof? Do we protect him? The original mission was to arrest all four men.”

You groaned, “I don’t know. He’s never done me wrong.”

“Personal feelings aside, Y/N.”

“Ugh, fine. But I’m not gonna be happy about it.”

Steve squinted at you with a playful smile. “You’d rather just arrest the bad ones, huh?”

“Obviously what Ramirez is doing is illegal and it’s horrific to think of what might be happening behind the scenes on his side, but either he’s serious or he’s been putting on this good guy act for his whole life.”

“Leaning towards the first option?”

Shrugging, you leaned toward your computer screen and scrolled through the massive list of emails. “It’s what my gut tells me, but ehh.”

There was one random email from Maribel, but random only meant coded. Reading it over a couple times, humming to yourself in concentration, you finally cracked the code she was trying to send. 

“Maribel says Ramirez acquired some land in Mexico… lots of it.”

Steve looked up from the files, “Any significance?”

“It’s probably for growing the products.”

Steve quickly typed key words that would alert him of any new transactions in the past few months.  “Who’s on the title?”

“Just him. And his oldest daughter. My father must know, right?”

Steve leaned back in his chair, releasing a heavy sigh as he thought about what this could mean. “Ramirez acquiring more land means more of Ramirez’s product. A three-way partnership would be split unevenly if he utilizes the land.”

“Make sure Bucky alerts us of any business my father might have with realtors authorized to work in that area.”

It functioned like this for another hour, the two of you sharing bits of information every ten minutes or so. 

“Torres sent us an update on White.”

You rubbed at your strained eyes, “What does he say?”

Steve’s eyebrows raised, “That he’s been in the country for much longer than his passport says.”

You stood from your seat and rushed to look at the same screen Steve was reading from. “He traveling under a fake name?”

“Customs says he returned to Germany,” Steve stated, highlighting a paragraph on the screen for you to easily read. “Four weeks ago.”

It was your turn to snort out a laugh, “Oh, he’s so setting up an alibi.”

Steve nodded in agreement, “Looks like it.”

You slapped his shoulder lightly, voice raising an octave. “Look at us! Piecing together the puzzle!”

“We still got a few more pieces to attach before you go getting all cocky.”

You chuckled and decided to take a break. You speed walked over to your bed and plopped down, the mountain of pillows already relieving your tense muscles. “Hey, has my sister’s plane landed yet?”

Steve glanced at you quickly before pulling up Bucky’s morning emails. “Uh, landed about an hour ago.”

“She at the estate?”

He shrugged, “Torres hasn’t sent an update. Just her profile, hold up.”

You waved him off, a nonverbal way of telling him you seriously couldn’t care less. “I haven’t spoken to her since I joined you guys. You don’t gotta give me her origin story.”

“That long?” Steve questioned. 

You placed a pillow beneath your head, body horizontal and facing Steve. “We were never that close. I’ve got tons of half-siblings. Most of them were adults when I was born, anyway.”

With just a few words exchanged, Steve realized he had just stepped through your metaphorical door of reminiscing. So he stood to lay in his own bed, the simple action of giving you attention enough to keep you talking, he hoped. “Were you alone a lot? Growing up, I mean.”

You watched as Steve also placed a pillow beneath his head, “There were always kids around. Kids of the maids, cousins, neighbors.”

“A full house, sounds like.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, a small smile forming as you thought about old friends. “I remember this one time, we all ran into Ramirez when we were trying to get to one of the playrooms. But he grabbed me quickly and told me to not go in there.”

“Was it a threat?”

You grinned at his protective tone, “No, it was a warning. There were some really bad men in the other room. It was me and a few other girls. He told us to run back to my room and lock the door until he came to get us.”

Steve couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation as to why Ramirez joined the drug game. Sure, the function and presence of cartels had changed drastically over the last forty years, but it didn’t explain why he remained involved. In the eighties, the drug game was highly televised and spoken about, but the cartel violence was not as strong. Nowadays, and not even you could give a proper explanation, the violence was astronomical and basically advertised as something to expect when visiting certain countries. This was the mob game now, freaking Al Capone or the goddamn Godfather, absolutely meant to frighten whoever dare join or leave. For Ramirez to still be one of the big players even with that many internal changes, to be a good person in the middle of such hell, didn’t make any sense. 

“He protected you.”

You clutched the pillow closer to your chest, the memory a good one even if it was weird. “Oh, yeah. Those guys he was warning us about were no angels.”

Steve gave an awkward smile, “I feel like I know more about your childhood than you know mine.”

“I’m all ears if you wanna tell me about little, asthmatic Steve Rogers.”

He raised his index finger at you, “Hey, I was more than just my asthma.”

“Oh, excuse me. I totally forgot about your scoliosis.” 

The pillow under his head was now flying across the small distance to your face. You shrieked and sent it back. 

“Stop bullying!” Steve laughed.

You shielded your face in case he decided to continue the pillow war. “What? I’ve got my health problems, too! I just don’t have the serum to help me out.”

But he didn’t throw it again. He repositioned himself on his back and placed both hands beneath his head, gracing the ceiling with a grin. “I remember this one time, Bucky and I were around eleven-years old, and I had this really bad asthma attack. Bucky just freaked out. I was choking and he was just holding me, screaming for help -”

You blinked, “This is really depressing, what are you-”

“-and! Bucky threw himself into a full-blown panic attack. So we were both choking on air, but I was starting to laugh at him freaking out, which only made him choke harder. We ended up throwing up.”

You were silent at the end of his short story, mouth open in a wide smile. “I don’t know what else to say other than that was one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard.”

Steve rolled over, a literal twinkle in his eye. “See? Don’t interrupt me before I get to the good parts.”

This simple moment catapulted the realization that Steve hasn’t spoken to you this much in two years, to the front of your mind. In these past four days, you had spoken like you had never stopped, like it was never awkward, like you two seriously didn’t need another person in the room to simply converse about what you wanted for breakfast. Yet here you were, more words exchanged in the past four days than you ever thought possible. 

After the fallout, you didn’t say one full sentence to him for seven months. Seven months. He hadn’t attempted a conversation with you either, but you actively avoided him like he was infected. Hell, he even moved out of the compound and into his own apartment to get away from you for most of the day. After your forced reconciliation, the awkward apologies, you still didn’t force any open conversation. But it was easier, lighter, and most conversations involved mission information. 

Talking this much now was so easy, so simple, like you didn’t need to force the comfort - there was already full comfort, a sense of community with this man. 

He was so different from when he insulted you while you were packing, annoyed by the fact that you pried too much. And now you were prying into his childhood and him yours without a lick of annoyance on either side. 

“We both had eventful childhoods, didn’t we?”

“What, with both of us in the middle of a war?” Steve asked, a genuine look on his face.

“Guess our wars never really left us, huh?”

There was a knock at the door. You weren’t expecting Torres again today. Steve muttered ‘room service, maybe’ under his breath as you went to open it. You were startled to find Scott standing outside, two massive suitcases in his hand. 

“Oh my god, I forgot you were arriving today!”

Scott scoffed, “Am I not as important as your other friends?”

You laughed and helped him inside, “Stop! You’re one of my favorite bugs!”

“Ha ha. Very funny. I’ll leave right now if you two decide to pile on me instead of each other.” Scott placed one of the suitcases near the door but the other at the edge of your bed. 

“We’ll be nice,” Steve promised, standing to greet Scott with a hug. 

“You better. Catch me up, please?” 

The suitcase contained your outfits for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Whoever was in charge of costumes definitely went all out, hoping their work would make the big fight the most fashionable. Steve was given a perfectly tailored suit, navy blue and velvet. It was lined with vibranium, inside pockets covered with it. That would certainly be handy if you were forced to walk through metal detectors - vibranium couldn’t be detected. His suit for the rehearsal dinner was a lot simpler, the custom black and white aesthetic, but still protected with vibranium. 

Your clothes were certainly not styled to match Steve’s, giving you a sense of individuality. It was perfect really - it would allow you to leave Steve’s side, if necessary, when the mission called for you to split up. Your rehearsal dinner outfit was two parts: a black, velvet long-sleeved shirt, slight turtleneck, and gold cuffs. It was joined by a long gold skirt, high-waisted, the front shorter than the back and sides more curled than ruffled. You would have to wear tights underneath, but it was beautiful. Vibranium was also stitched in for added protection. Your dress for the actual wedding, however, was a total knockout. Red, spaghetti strap, tight on top but loose once it reached your hips, a long slit on the left side. They were even kind enough to give you a pair of heels to match. 

Yeah, Steve was Captain America and his appearance will shock the guests, but your attire will definitely be the second topic in gossip. 

Scott was filing through the same papers you and Steve had reviewed earlier, a bowl of potato chips at his side. And it was peaceful - you and Steve even had the chance to nap. 

“So, you’re gonna see Jackeline at the rehearsal dinner?”

You wiped the remnants of your nap from your face and groaned as you stretched, “She’ll probably be busy tomorrow when we go for breakfast, so yeah.”

Scott shifted uncomfortably in his seat, eyes practically attached to the computer screen. “And… she’s the one getting married?”

His tone started to worry Steve, “Yes, Scott. You good?”

Scott piled a handful of potato chips in his mouth, finger clicking the mouse every few seconds. His eyes were now wide, blinks forgotten. “Jackeline Vega. Jackeline.”

Steve ignored him now, “Hey, why isn’t your last name Vega?”

As much as you wanted to share about how and why you changed your last name, Scott’s demeanor interested you more. “Changed it when I became an American citizen - Scott, what’s up?”

He let out a tiny squeak, swallowing his snack quickly. “And she’s your father’s favorite?”

You rolled your eyes, “Mmm.”

Scott released a huge huff of air, shoulders falling as he raised his voice and turned the monitor to face you. “Think he knows anything about this?”

The photograph was blurry because it was enhanced, but you could still make out the face of a sister you hadn’t seen in years. Older, still with teenage features obviously, and tossed on what looked like a church alter-

Steve's eyes widened, “Is she…?”

Scott finished his sentence for him, “Fucking a priest?”

You covered your mouth in shock, “Oh my god, she’s fucking a priest!”

Bent on the literal church altar, skirt bunched around her hips, head thrown back in ecstasy and face in full view. And the damned priest, in between her legs and under the eyes of god. 

“That’s why I asked!”

Steve clutched at his chest, head thrown back as he howled, “I think you were wrong about your sister.”

Now your eyes were glued to the screen, “Oh, I was fuck all from correct!”

Scott cleared his throat, “Is the priest… her fiance?”

Steve came down from his laugh attack, “I highly doubt that, Scott.”

“This is actually really damning evidence.”

You grinned at Scott, “For what? Painting her out to look like the most sinful whore? I might just congratulate her.”

Steve stared at you, judging almost. “For fucking a priest?”

“For proving me wrong. She’s not so innocent after all,” you responded, cheeks strained from how wide you were smiling. 

“Clearly. This is… actually badass,” Scott admitted, turning the monitor back to him.

You teased, singing your next words. “Don’t let the Lord and Savior hear that.”

Steve glared, “Y/N.”

You leaned away from him, “What? Anyway, that’s gotta be one the worst sins to commit, right?”

Steve’s expression contorted from annoyance to disbelief. “We’ve literally killed people.”

“Pfft, but we’re not fucking priests. Right?”

Scott answered, nodding quicker than he needed to. “Right.”

“You’re literally asking that?”

You pressed your lips into a fine line and tilted your head at Steve. “Steve?”

He glared at you for a long moment before slowly shaking his head. “I’m not fucking any priests.”

Your response was immediate, “Alright! I gotta hand it to her, though. Who took the photo?”

Scott went back to fishing through the emails. “Some sleazy magazine that never got around to actually printing these out.”

“Someone paid them off. Or killed them.”

“I wonder who,” you replied sarcastically. 

Steve continued, “You honestly think he would support her doing that?”

You shrugged and scurried back over to your unmade bed. “Not my problem.”

Scott interjected, “Okay, okay. How’s tomorrow gonna work?”

Steve answered first, “Well, we’re driving out around eight.”

You hummed in agreement, reaching over to unplug your phone from the charger. “Scott, you’ll just ride on one of our backs as we walk through the estate.”

“I kind of want to ride Y/N’s back this time.”

You snorted, “Now that doesn’t sound sexual at all.”

He hid his face in his hands, “You know, I heard it once I said it.”

“Course you did.”

Steve jumped back into the conversation, Scott’s embarrassment seeming to grow under the weird tension. “Then you’ll hop off and plant the bugs wherever you feel like they’re needed.”

“Easy peasy!” you cheered. 

“Bucky and Sam gonna meet us Friday night?”

Steve nodded, “That’s what they said.” He looked over at you, scrolling through your phone and already smiling at something you found funny. He cleared his throat to get your attention. “You know they can be out here in under an hour if we seriously need them.”

You glanced over at Steve, his sincerity greatly appreciated. “I know. But all my faith is in Scott here.”

Scott moaned quietly, “Oh… no, let’s not put all the faith in me because I can’t handle that responsibility.”

You propped yourself up onto your elbows, “You saying I can’t trust you?”

“No, no! That’s not what I’m saying at all-!”

Steve rolled his eyes and looked at the man, a sheen of nervous sweat starting to form on his forehead. “Scott.” 

Scott lowered his hands from his chest, “O-oh. She’s messing with me, huh?”

You chuckled and laid back down. “You’re so easy.”

The easygoing atmosphere for the next few hours almost had you believing you were on vacation, away from the bad guys and space aliens for just a moment. Almost like you weren’t in the middle of a drug war, a mob business, the literal daughter of a king. Scott had that effect, his personality such a sweet refresher and such a contrast to every soul in the compound. 

Thor and Peter were also sweethearts and fun was always expected when they were around, but Scott had this different vibe. Maybe it was because he was relatively new, or that he had a child, or that he hadn’t suffered the same five years as everyone else did. Like he wasn’t yet tainted.  

“You guys mind if I run a job inside a job?”

Your head snapped up at Scott’s crazy question, “You stealing something?”

To run a job inside a job was risky. There was no exact plan to keep both missions balanced, to somehow rank the other more important. You prayed it wasn’t something insane. 

Scott chuckled under his breath, already grabbing his jacket and suitcase by the door. “No, I’m not stealing something. Hank needs me to speak to some guy he’s doing negotiations with about a space for a new lab headquarters.”

Steve tilted his head, “In Northern California?”

“Nah, the dude is vacationing out here for the time being. The lab will be in San Francisco again.”

You squinted at him, still cautious. “Where you meeting him?”

“Some nice Italian restaurant an hour out.”

Steve spoke before you did, similar thoughts running through his mind. “You check with Torres? We don’t know who might randomly show up there.”

Scott tried his best to reassure you, “Yeah, he said they’re following every car that leaves the premises and travels more than thirty minutes away. None of Ernesto’s men have been spotted further up north.”

You sighed. You didn’t want another member of your team to venture out in this area, let alone this goddamn state, without your eyes on them. You were protective, the proximity of your outside world with the one you had spent ten years building too suffocating of a reality. 

Still, you told Scott goodbye with a steady voice. “Then enjoy your dinner, Scott.”

His voice picked up again, that childish and upbeat feeling wrapping you around his finger. “You guys wanna come with? I’m sure you’re sick of icky hotel food.”

Steve waved him off, “It’s actually not that bad-”

“Breadsticks. Garlic pasta. More breadsticks.”

You laughed, “That sounds nice, Scott but we can stay here-”

“Three-cheese pastas.”

“Scott, you can try all you want but-”

“Unlimited breadsticks.”

You shared a look at Steve, puckering your lips at the suggestion. 

“.... We’ll sit far away from your table, okay?”

Scott opened the hotel door and started sprinting down the hallway. “I knew I could persuade you with that! C’mon!”

     California at night was a death trap. Potholes on every stretch of asphalt, construction halted for who knows how long, random opossums lingering in the shadows just waiting to get hit by tires. It was prettier during the day - less of a ‘lead me into this forest, yes, kill me’ vibe. 

You chilled in the backseat while Scott drove you guys to the restaurant. You had texted Bucky where you were planning to go, the message activating the group text chain. 

Peter: it’s Wednesday! Who died?

Wanda: she’s literally texting us

Peter: Y/N, you won???

Bucky: fuck do I owe the fucking spider money?

Peter: pay up dude

Y/N: tf Bucky? You bet against me?

      “You sure you two are good?”

The restaurant looked quiet considering it was a Wednesday night, but it was still crowded. There was a short line extending out the door and a… bouncer. You sucked in a breath and smacked Scott in the chest once you were out of the car. 

“Thought you said this was a restaurant?”

Scott rubbed his chest, a look of disbelief spreading across his face. “Restaurant slash bar!”

“We eating with the Italian mob now? I can only handle one mob at a time, Scott.”

You nodded rapidly, pointing at Steve. “I agree with him!”

“Not every place has bad guys!”

You groaned and reluctantly stood at the back of line, pulling Steve’s hat lower on his forehead. It wasn’t like people couldn’t take one long, hard look at him and not know who he was, anyway. 

“Can you guys just… enjoy a night out?”

“While on a mission?”

“While living your long lives. God, Y/N, you getting old already?”

Your mouth dropped, “I’m twenty-six and I’m not complaining about a nice dinner, Scott.” You pointed at the bouncer. “I’m worried about the fact that our ID’s are gonna be checked.”

Scott’s mouth formed an ‘O’. “Yeah, that.”

“Next.”

You shot Steve a worried look but handed the bouncer your driver’s license. He just looked at the date of birth and moved you along. “Next.”

Scott handed him his, doing his best to smile proudly while the bouncer scanned him up and down. “Next.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard,” Scott joked, standing next to you in the far corner of the entrance. 

You rolled your eyes, “Wait.”

The bouncer took one look at Steve’s ID and gasped. Steve looked anywhere but the bouncer’s eyes, his bottom lip suffering the abuse of his incisors. 

“Cap-Captain?”

Steve gave a sheepish grin, lowering his cap further. “Uh, yeah.”

“Enjoying your day?”

You pinched your nose. 

“Would like it a lot more if you could lead us to a table with as much privacy as you can offer.”

You had to hand it to Steve for taking advantage of situations like this. 

The bouncer agreed immediately, speaking with the manager and promising discretion. The manager said it was no problem, that it was the least he could do for you guys after you brought his son back to him after those rough five years. 

The restaurant offered a somewhat real Italian setting, awarding their guests with as much real scenery and architecture it could. You could only compare it to the Venetian in Vegas as you had never actually been to Italy, but the live band and garlic smell was enough to transport you. 

The lights were low, older couples enjoying the food and wine, and there was a small bar near the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t really a place for some shady business, but years of experience let you know that wasn’t always the case. It was second nature to eye women reaching into their purses, only to pull out a pack of gum. Second nature to wince at the sound of a loud laugh cutting through the quiet atmosphere. 

As promised, you were led to a more private area of the restaurant, closer to the bar than to the band. 

“Go run the job, Scott. We’ll just be enjoying our unlimited breadsticks,” you said, letting out a heavy and relaxed sigh as you settled into the private booth. 

“That hat isn't really hiding those broad shoulders, Cap,” Scott laughed, slapping Steve on the back.

Steve slid into the same booth, ignoring the completely empty seat across from you. “Thanks, Scott. I’m aware.”

You tried to hide your blush as you squeezed deeper in your seat. Scott noticed though, side eyeing Steve who was none the wiser. “You know, I told him that he should have used those facial changing things SHIELD used to have.”

Steve grabbed the offered utensils and started unwrapping them from their napkins. 

“What are we if not superheroes who think a baseball cap and glasses hide our identities?” you teased, shooting Scott a quick wink. 

Steve answered almost triumphantly, “Uh, Superman?”

You giggled and grabbed the napkin he had unwrapped for you. “I’d argue Thor is more like Superman, but okay.”

“How am I not more like Superman? What-”

“Uh, guys? I see the dude so I’m gonna go. You two enjoy your meal,” Scott interrupted, running off to a booth located toward the middle of the restaurant. 

You sat for a few awkward moments before you squinted and looked at Steve, who was sitting to your left and way too close. “Are we annoying?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like,” you spoke with your hands, “you and I bicker a lot because we love to annoy each other but you think it gets on other people’s nerves?”

Steve chuckled, rubbing his shoulder with yours. “Do you really care if it does?”

That blush of yours was starting to feel warmer. “No, just wondering if you felt that way.”

He shrugged, “I quite like our relationship.”

“Oh,” you smiled, looking down at your lap.  “I quite liked it more a few years back but you know.” 

He immediately tensed, body leaning away from you as if you were burning him. You shut your eyes and shook your head. “Sorry, that was low.”

He sighed deeply, “No, I deserve it. I’ll always deserve it.”

You took a risk and reached for his hand, squeezing gently. The kind gesture seemed to calm him, and he looked back at you. “I still shouldn’t have said it.”

He accepted that, and handed you the menu. 

The hotel food was grand, it did its job of filling you up and providing the necessary nutrients, but there was just something about the carbs in pasta and bread. It ignited the food critic inside you, because now you were cursing the hotel chef and dreading having to order breakfast in the morning. No, dinner. You were having breakfast with your father tomorrow. 

Scott was busy conducting his own business, bluetooth turned off but still glancing over his shoulder once in a while to check on you guys. Each time he did, he felt butterflies flutter in his breadstick-filled stomach. It was the first time he had seen the two of you so carefree, let alone with each other, and it was the most refreshing thing in the world. 

Steve was in the middle of telling another childhood story, his main plate already finished and practically licked clean. But the unlimited breadsticks were coming out by the pound, a new stick in each of your hands every five minutes. 

“I swear, she loved Bucky more than me!”

You covered your mouth and chewed, careful to not let anything through because of your giggle fit. “Steve! Your mother did not!”

Steve wiped at his under eye, clutching his chest as he continued explaining. “Bucky was always around and my mom would just linger every second she wasn’t working!”

“Bet she loved him.”

“See?”

“No, I mean she must have loved him like her own! Bucky was your best friend, your only friend. She probably thought of him like an angel sent from God!” you clarified. 

Steve smiled wider at your cheesy explanation. They were happy memories, joyful ones that he would often think about while writing or drawing. 

He continued with a soft confession. “I really wish I could see her again.”

You leaned your temple on your palm, “From everything you’ve shared with me, she sounds lovely.”

“She would have loved you.” The blush was back, and so was Steve’s, almost like those words were supposed to be kept in the back of his head. He cleared his throat. “God, she was so destroyed when Bucky first got his orders.”

“Was Bucky scared?”

“Scared? Absolutely fucking terrified. We talked about running away and changing our names so he didn’t have to go.”

The draft was such a horrible practice. The fact that men still had to enlist and hope no ‘necessary’ war was upon them. It was quite reassuring to know most of those men wouldn’t have to see battle today, they were given a choice, and there were agencies that managed people who could, like the Avengers. 

“Steve…”

Steve just hummed softly, “Life in the forties, am I right?

Your voice also got quieter. “Why didn’t you run away?”

Steve huffed out a laugh, swallowing the last of his bread. “We tried. Got all the way to the edge of town before Bucky’s dad wrung us both back to kick our asses.”

Almost out of instinct, you gripped his hand again. You rubbed soothing circles into his knuckles, knuckles that hadn’t seen hand-to-hand combat in so long. There wasn’t much danger in the world nowadays, just small missions here and there. It wasn’t like the team was itching for another alien invasion. But these periods of well needed rest were odd, periods where bruises completely healed up and little pockets of weight were gained. Steve’s knuckles were soft, only having seen the ends of paintbrushes for a long while. 

 “...Where’s your mother?”

His voice snapped you from your thoughts, and you had to repeat the question in your own head a couple times. 

“It’s not a happy story.”

There wasn’t much of a story anyway. 

“But is it a story you need to get off your chest?”

Steve didn’t want to push too hard. The long pause in your relationship definitely didn’t soften this blow, and it only added to the strings of resistance. If you decided not to tell Steve about this, Steve would have to accept it. If anything, this was one of the toughest questions to ask someone when all you’ve been doing is ignoring them for two years. 

“Not really much to get rid of.”

He nodded, only a slight hint of disappointment laced within his words. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Natasha was the only one with any knowledge of your mom. There was never an actual moment in which you freely spoke of her - inserting her likeness, her person, back into some alternate and fucked-up reality - you kept her legacy dead. It was obvious she hadn’t enjoyed this part of her life, no doubt it absolutely killed her to leave you trapped in it, so keeping her dead, even in conversation, was a favor. 

But one drunken night and you were showing Natasha the one photo you had of her, stuffed deep in your wallet and crinkled beyond repair. Her black hair to her shoulders, lip liner a darker shade than her lipstick, hands intertwined behind her back as she arched forward in a playful tilt, shooting the camera a smile that was stuck around the word she was saying as the candid was taken. There was no recorded voice but you had a record of her movement, frozen in time.     

Steve’s sincerity grasped you by the literal roots of your hair, because next thing you knew you were spilling the first thought you had. 

“She was twenty-three. Working as a real estate agent, very beautiful, and she was engaged. To an American.”

Steve chuckled around his champagne glass, “Was that bad?”

You grinned at that, like he was already fully and deeply invested in your story. “Not necessarily. But everyone knew she was taken.”

“And your father?”

“He wanted to buy some houses. Saw her, wanted her, tried persuading her into going on a date. Nothing really worked, she didn’t accept his money or gifts.”

Steve fumbled over his next words. “Did she eventually?”

“No, but her brother did. My father didn’t know it was her brother, so he thought she was accepting them. Got mad when she still refused his advances.”

He was digesting this little by little. Steve had heard horror stories of girls he grew up with, forced to marry at a young age when they were caught in a passionate moment with a man, or when they ended up pregnant. Bucky and his mother had always instructed him to treat women with respect, to never intentionally or accidentally ruin their reputation, to protect and use his voice to stand up for them. And although women weren’t getting frisky with him when he was all but ninety pounds at the ripe age of twenty, that didn’t stop Steve from exchanging a few words and punches with men who had no right.  “How did they end up together?”

You shrugged, reaching over for another breadstick. “No one knows. He invited her to a party one day and she didn’t come back for a whole week. Next thing her family knows she’s engaged to my father and no longer with the love of her life.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, her family had no choice but to accept that. Her poor fiance, though.” 

“Where is he now?”

Steve had this weird hope that the fiance may still be alive somewhere, waiting for your mother to find him. But that was just the hopeless romantic emerging. 

You sighed deeply, “My father told my mother he killed him. My mother believed him.”

“So, he’s still alive? He didn’t hurt him?”

“Apparently he’s still kicking, yeah. But my mom became severely depressed from that lie.”

The restaurant felt colder and the air became thinner. Steve didn’t want his next thought to be true. “She didn’t...?”

You shook your head quickly, “No, she found out he was alive.” Even if you weren’t witness to it, you could still imagine your mother charting the areas she would have to run and swim through to get away. Wasn’t like it was a heartfelt thought, but the mere fact that she had that much determination to risk her life for love, it was somewhat therapeutic to think about. Like it was genuinely satisfying to imagine her defying your father. Still, your face drooped as you gave Steve the sad conclusion. “She didn’t even make it across the border before he had her killed for betraying him.”

His face fell in time with yours, “Fuck.”

“She left me with Maribel’s mother. But my father found me and told me she had an accident. Didn’t find out the truth until I was thirteen.”

“I’m so sorry.”

You shoved his shoulder with yours, a light chuckle cutting through the sad moment. “Not like you had a hand in this, Steve. It’s just my life.”

You were used to Steve’s generosity, his ability to make any person feel a part of his family - you had been on the receiving end of his sincerity for the past week now. But as you held his gaze, his body seemingly towering over yours, your chest flushed with such warmness, a tranquil promise of safety. He leaned forward, breath hitting your cheeks, hand still gripping yours. 

“Not anymore. We’ll end this, Y/N. I promise you, we’ll end this.”

You took a risk and rested your forehead on his, his continuous promise still causing your stomach to twist pleasurably. “How’d we get so sad all of a sudden?” You pushed away and threw your arms in the air. “We need more breadsticks!”

Steve laughed loudly, the private booth still providing somewhat of a thin curtain to the other diners. “No, we need mints!”

Rolling your eyes, you blew your breath at Steve teasingly. “Weak.”

Steve groaned, “You and Scott are not getting into the car without chewing on a mint.”

“You got a thing against bad breath?”

“Take the mint.”

“I’m gonna fight you if you force the mint on me.”

He was reaching into his jacket and pulling the small case out. He winked at you. “I’ll win.”

He popped open the cap and held it out to you. He didn’t tip it though, as if he was waiting for you to extend your palm. Everything was silent for a minute, eyes challenging one another. 

He could easily lean in. He could easily just tilt his head a little to his left and capture your lips with his. Every damn molecule in his body was telling him to do it, every bubble from that champagne somehow giving him some extra courage. 

Your breath hitched slightly, and he leaned away. I’m such a coward, he thought.

You reacted swiftly, disguising the awkwardness. “You’re right, give me the mint. You should swallow like three.”

Steve snickered, “You ruined the moment.”

But you didn’t ruin the moment. And he just blamed you for it. Like he had already established - he was a coward. 

You grabbed the mints he offered and popped them into your mouth. “What moment? I didn’t see any moment.”

Okay, he could just lean in right now and hope the mint freshness in your mouth would mask the garlic in his. Yeah, he could just lean in and do what he’s been thinking of doing for the last day and a half-

“Hey, you guys finished? Getting dessert?”

Steve almost shot from his seat, “Jesus fucking christ, Scott!”

Scott slid into the seat across from you. “You scare easily. Let’s get dessert!” 

You were too flustered. Fine, okay. You’ll play along. If the gods want to reward you with this fun Steve, the Steve you were closest to years ago, then so be it. You’ll bite. And if he wants to resort back to his bitchy self, his hermit behavior, then you’ll fight him then. 

Scott ordered so much dessert. 

So much. 

The little moment you had with Steve was still fresh, you could sense he was thinking about it too, but you opted to simply enjoy the night out. You were here with two friends, protection was just a phone call away, and you were safe. 

Perhaps Scott had the same effect on Steve that he had on you. Absolutely demolished his ‘Captain’ self and released the guy who simply wanted to enjoy a mini road trip with his friends. 

     You were barely fifteen minutes into your ride home when Scott lowered the windows and turned the radio up high. 

“Woohoo!”

You screamed over the loud roar of the wind, “Scott, it’s fucking freezing!”

Scott yelled back, “We just had three desserts each! Your blood should be running warm!”

You blinked away the dryness, “Dude!”

Steve, surprisingly, agreed with Scott. “Enjoy it!”

Your mouth dropped open and you followed Steve’s movements as he turned the radio higher. 

The music blared and you were about to protest again, the air literally nipping at your sensitive cheeks, but the song that started was a non-skip. 

You would indulge in this childishness once. 

Once. 

You reached around the passenger seat and gripped Steve’s shoulders, shaking him in place. “Ah, California radio giving us the classics!”

Scott leaned over and turned it up higher. 

You swayed in your seat and sang along with Scott. “Bidi bidi bom bom!”

Scott pointed at you and recited the lyrics, “Bidi, bidi!”

Both of you sang, “Bom!”

Even with his eyes on the road, Scott was nailing some good dance moves in his seat. You both sang each lyric with your heart and soul, laughs escaping during the guitar breaks. 

Steve just enjoyed the show. He didn’t know the song, the melody a foreign one for him, but it must have been popular for both you and Scott to know it. He watched you sway in your seat, hands dancing and voice matching the volume of the radio. Just the other night, you had mentioned how you never sang anymore.

But here you were, singing through the most beautiful smile Steve had ever seen. 

He missed the sound of it. He missed hearing you sing in your room, no doubt you were dancing too since he usually heard your feet shuffling against your carpet. He missed the innocence you would casually portray, an invitation for anyone to befriend you. He missed teasing you lightly, and he regretted the roughness of his voice years later. He missed just walking into the common area and finding you there, cooking for yourself and anyone who wanted a plate - that plate usually for him. He missed you. 

You were right here, voice hitting those octaves Steve didn’t think he would ever hear again. You were right here, and he missed you. 

      Scott was staying in a separate room. The dessert and alcohol had run right through him, and he bid you goodnight after he threatened to plop down in your bed if you invited him in. 

The sound of Scott’s retreating footsteps seemed to suck all the air from the vents at once, whispering its song lovingly in your ear. It was both refreshing and terrifying to be left alone because now here you were, standing outside your hotel door with the super soldier you had gone to Hell and back with. 

You inwardly cringed, the tightness in your chest sending your childish ass back to sophomore year of college. A first date, the lost promise of another - a proper teenage reaction to a crush. But this man in front of you wouldn’t let you delete his number from your phone; he wouldn’t avoid eye contact in the dining hall; he wouldn’t sit at the back of the lecture hall just to keep a necessary distance. 

Granted, Elijah - poor, frightened Elijah - had seen you literally kidnap someone off the street under your father’s orders. This being before you went straight and moral, before you had met Fury, before SHIELD training. You were to blame for that sprouting relationship going south pretty quickly. So you avoided him, too - praying Ernesto or Seda could never track him. 

But Steve, beautiful Steve who reloaded your guns when you couldn’t, who jumped in front of stray bullets for you and those he loved, Steve who very quietly asked you for various salsa recipes when he was in the mood to cook. Here he was, eyes also watching Scott walk away, no doubt experiencing the same tight coil within his chest. He hadn’t run, he had worked and fought with and against you, and he wasn’t running away. 

No, Steve Rogers never ran. 

The low beep from the hotel lock snapped you from your thoughts. You sensed his hesitance because when your history was truly reviewed with the most unbiased of minds, there was absolutely no reason to overthink. Hell, when you ran through the halls of Thor’s Asgardian palace with Rocket tailing you, the first joke out your mouth was how Steve would probably instruct you to respect a place like that and speed walk. Your first thought when starting the pilot episode of a new show is to wait for Bucky… and Steve, who would pop the kernels over the stove and add real salt and butter. 

His first thought as he helped load people onto the planes in Sokovia was that your whiny ass better be on one of them. Or when Steve regrouped in the support circle, his first thought before he continued the discussion was that he really hoped you would walk through those doors and join - until one day you did. 

Whether the two of you recognized the severity of your unspoken feelings, they were there. Silent and at a gradual increase. Never rushed, not entirely obvious because of the temporary roadblocks of unnecessary separation. 

Steve was here in front of you, like he always was, and he was wearing the smallest nervous smile you had ever seen.  

And you were here in front of him, like you always were, and he could not entirely read the mixed emotions on your delicate face. 

You shuffled alongside your bed, stopping to shrug out of the heavy jacket you had on. “We should turn in early so we can be well-rested, in case we gotta fight tomorrow.”

Steve nodded in agreement but remained silent, hovering near the coffee table and monitors. Your back was facing him and he just watched you fumble with your boots and belt. It was like your back was on fire, bursting with fueled flames as you could literally feel his gaze boring into you. The overwhelming urge to simply snap and ask him what the hell he was looking at was strong, so in character, but you refrained. It was too intimate, too quiet, but before you could even ask him if he wanted the shower first, the warmth of his chest was near, inches away and calling. 

Your breath hitched, shoulders rising slightly and exactly what Steve needed to witness. It was awkward for him to just stand behind you with no actual intention of touching you first - no, he needed a proper signal. So Steve waited those few precious seconds more until you turned, sun-kissed by the California sun and hair no longer in tight curls, before he glanced down at your glossy lips. You followed his eyesight, all knowing in his intentions, and you glanced at his lips as well. 

A gesture of approval. 

Steve pulled you in, both hands settling on your cheeks, thumbs exploring the corners of your mouth. He watched them dance and how your mouth parted slightly in response. He looked back up, studying the small crease forming in between your eyebrows and the pinch of water filling the inside corners of your eyes.

His thumbs felt like a gentle sigh, a promise of a sweet caress in both the daytime and dead of night. Although all his focus was on you, his own features reacted to the moment. His lips were also parted, sweet breath with the scent of those classic tiramisu’s he had devoured, touching the tip of your nose and equally trembling lips. 

So goddamn intimate that you found yourself internally cursing those sitcoms Wanda had forced you to binge watch. Because the two love interests, albeit they had several months or years of growing tension, rushed into their first kiss for the sake of limited airtime. They didn’t prepare you for practically a ten-year build-up, a relationship that was both heavily work and friend related, the slowness of such a moment fans would most certainly be jumping out of their seats for. No, nothing could have prepared you for the warmth of Steve Rogers. 

Your Captain. 

You registered the soft feeling of his lips as they pressed against yours, overlapped only slightly. Eyes now fully closed in surprise and pleasure, you leaned into it more, hands placed on Steve’s rising chest. The squeeze of his hands cupping your cheeks caused your lips to pucker more, but you were relaxed in his desperate touch. He tilted his head a little to the left, your lips sliding against each other’s and noses bumping. Steve frowned in concentration, pouring whatever emotions he had felt throughout the last few years into this one kiss, and he knew he couldn’t possibly fully portray them. And almost as quickly as you thought about how sweet and innocent of a kiss this was, Steve’s tongue slowly peaked out from behind his teeth and greeted your bottom lip. 

His tongue traced over your bottom lip warmly, welcomed by yours as you followed his lead. God, you would always follow his lead. 

You tried to move in closer, but your elbows were already bent fully against him and his hips were only a few inches from your greedy ones. One tiny step forward and you would be completely flushed against him - but you chose to respect the distance Steve created. 

You let out a quiet whine, body shuddering as Steve applied more pressure. It was as if Steve had never heard such a sound - completely unexpected and causing him to pause momentarily. He leaned away a little, lips still barely kissing yours. He opened his eyes, gaze wandering from your flushed cheeks still squeezed between his palms and to your fluttering eyelids. The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he debated leaning forward again, to be selfish for once and to pass forth the trophy for ‘waiting too long’. But as you opened your eyes, no trace of regret or hate swimming inside your irises, Steve froze. 

You were his friend. His friend who teased him about the paint streaks across his forehead, who followed his lead no matter how ridiculous the order. 

He didn’t want you to inspect him further as well, so he shut his eyes and rested his forehead against yours. It was only then that he felt you settle back down from your tippy-toes. 

You gulped loudly, throat dry and lips instantly craving him again. “Steve…”

Steve let go of your face and dragged his hands lightly down your neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head slightly, his breath now kissing your cheek. Although your cheeks were red, the absence of Steve’s palms made them cold. 

He took a small step back, hands straining to stay on your skin as he reluctantly pulled them away. The absence of any warmth finally woke you from that intense daze and you frowned at Steve as he pulled away altogether. The instinct to reach out was there, and you cursed yourself for being so clingy. 

“Steve?” you called again, voice hoarse but light enough to pinch at Steve’s fast beating heart. 

He looked up and locked eyes with your confused ones. Oh, you’re gonna hate him for this. 

He gave you a small and kind smile, one you had seen plenty of times when he was actually enjoying your company. He backed up to the door, gaze never leaving yours even as he reached for the handle and key card. 

And he wanted to bring his hands back to your face to rub away that wrinkle between your furrowing eyebrows. But he simply opened the door and left you standing near the edge of your bed, flushed with a deep sense of longing and growing confusion. 

Steve already knew the amount of heat he would receive from the moment gossip of the kiss spread. Whether he was first to tell or you were. Bucky’s going to kick his ass, for sure, no doubt about it. No matter his bond with Bucky, it could never excuse leaving you alone to unravel this situation. You had this hold over Bucky, a soft mutual understanding of mental torture, so this inevitable ass kicking would be justified. Plus, after years of being rejected over and over, mostly in the forties, Bucky might just kick his ass for simply being a dumbass. 

But Steve felt calm, an added relaxation due to the whiskey cooling in his hand. If there was anything Steve was an expert in, it was overthinking. You two had that in common - were you overthinking while absentmindedly watching TV? Overthinking while rubbing shampoo into your scalp? Overthinking while angrily stomping your way down to the hotel bar to hand his ass back over to him?

He let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t see you burst through the doors. 

      “Anyone wanna start?”

Steve glanced around the circle of familiar and new faces. The group varied each week. Some people would try, share their anecdotes about lost loved ones, only to never show up for another session. Others often attended and never spoke, but they kept returning. Steve didn’t judge their choices - he couldn’t. No matter how many mornings he wanted to crawl back under the sheets and binge eat packaged foods, he never could. He had been at this job for two years. There was both pain and satisfaction in what he did. Sam would be doing this if he were here. 

And he had to do this for Sam. 

“My divorce was finalized yesterday.”

Steve looked over at the man who spoke first, a long-time member of this particular support group, and grimaced at his confession. The man couldn’t have been more than thirty, no wrinkles or gray hair, and he was ending a two-year marriage. 

“I’m sorry, Michael.”

The man, Michael, shrugged sadly, “We still love each other, man. But seeing your newborn disintegrate in your arms does something to your soul that’s just… we both knew we needed to move on. Even if it was from each other.”

Steve squeezed the small, red stress ball in his hand and tried to offer more condolences and a kind smile, but it came out rather painful. He opted to stay silent in case Michael wanted to continue. Instead, another member decided to comment. 

It went like this for almost an hour with Steve adding in his empathetic words of wisdom whenever he saw appropriate. It was good for everyone to share so openly, to carry the conversation with minimal involvement from Steve. Steve had shared snippets of his story with the group awhile back, careful to not mention the gruesome specifics. He had let out as much as he was able, not as much as he would have liked, but his main job was to facilitate. Besides, Steve went to confession every month to talk to someone - anyone - even if he wasn’t necessarily Catholic. But that’s just the thing - no one knew who they were anymore. 

The sound of a scraping chair leg caught everyone’s attention, and they all turned to the entrance in search of the disruption. You paused in your movements, face scrunched in embarrassment. Opening one eye, you mouthed a quick apology and rushed to carry the chair to the circle. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. Subway was a bitch,” you muttered, your embarrassed smile growing wider. 

For over a year, Steve had subtly urged you to attend one of these meetings. He was witness to your nightmares, your destructive solo missions that even Friday had no records of, and your sudden breakdown last week. You were casually jogging around the outdoor track when you suddenly stopped and fell to your knees, broken sobs seeming to shake the trees around you. You were crouched for a good minute before Steve had seen you wipe your eyes and continue your jog. As if nothing happened. 

To see you here, whether to share or to listen, prompted the proud and erratic beating of Steve’s heart. 

“It’s completely fine. Time’s almost up but we still got time for you.”

You sent Steve a funny smile, amused by his professional tone. “Uh, yeah! A friend convinced me to come. He was pretty persuasive.”

Steve blushed, head tilting downward. 

You introduced yourself and let the group know you were also an Avenger. No one seemed shocked and you were suddenly grateful for this mixture of people. 

Steve sat and listened, his nerves settling. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you all,” you started, thumbs dancing in your lap. “And I’m not sure how you’ll react.”

Steve sat up straight, eyebrows scrunching as he listened intently. 

You sighed, wetting your lips briefly. “The day before the snap, I was supposed to die.”

You wanted to avoid Steve’s gaze until the right moment. You continued, “I went on a mission to Mexico. Alone, which was completely against protocol but hey, we broke a lot more rules than that.”

Steve cleared his throat which earned a chorus of chuckles from the group. 

“And I was technically on house arrest but I found out a way to temporarily disable that ankle monitor,” you added, grinning from the laughs you were receiving. 

“Anyway, all my potential backup was nonexistent. I had friends on the run,” you paused, glancing at Steve with a somber expression. “And other friends literally fighting another battle on their home planet somewhere in space. So, I went alone.”

“While I was bleeding out from a bullet my own father ordered, Tony was already up in space. Loki was already dead.”

You hoped no one commented on Loki’s role in your life. He wasn’t exactly a nice figure to suddenly name drop in New York, but he was important in your grief. 

It was slightly unnerving to be on display here, but you weren’t exactly planning on returning. You just needed to rant. 

“I stitched myself up the best I could in that quinjet - which I almost crashed,” you muttered, smirking at Steve. “Sorry, Cap.”

“This is the first time I've heard you flew. You’re not even authorized to fly,” Steve declared, face scrunched in confusion and astonishment. 

“That’s not important,” you teased. “But the stitches were messy work. Horrible criss-crosses.”

Steve was in a tiny state of shock. He had known what happened to you, but to hear you talk so casually about the day before the world went to shit - it just made it more real. 

You had mentioned before that you never dreamed about the snap, but about everything leading up to it. 

“I woke up, betrayed yet again by my own blood, and Steve was suddenly there after two years. We were gonna fight an outside threat.”

You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed lightly, “I was still healing but I was on the battlefield. Stayed close to Nat most of the time.”

The group was heavily invested in your retelling. “I couldn’t fight him, obviously. But I did see him. I saw how he ripped that stone from my friend’s head.”

A few winces sounded around the circle. 

“I guess I feel immense guilt. Like, I could have done something more even though realistically, I couldn’t. Kinda feels like I sat back and watched my friend’s die.”

No one spoke, but it was obvious everyone had survivor’s guilt. 

“And now, I’m living with the pain of having all three of my best friends stripped from me while also celebrating the fact that the snap took my father.”

Shrugging, you gave your last sad smile to the group. “I feel guilty for what happened while also being grateful it took someone who deserved it.”

After a few seconds of silence, Steve spoke. “You’re here today to tell your story. No one has to agree or disagree with you. It’s your story. Tell it like it is.”

You chuckled, “I could easily bother Steve with this at the compound.” You smiled at the teenager clutching what looked like a stuffed animal in his lap. “But I had nothing else to do tonight. My only friends are gone.”

“You and Steve aren’t friends?”

This time it was Michael that spoke, his eyes bouncing from you to Steve. You turned to Steve for some kind of answer. Was it a yes? Were you more like coworkers than true friends? 

Steve’s eyes softened and his kind smile was back. 

You answered, “I guess. I did come here for him.”

Steve rolled his eyes and kept his light-hearted tone, “I’m really glad you did.” 

Steve backtracked, clearing his throat as he addressed the circle. “I’m really glad all of you did. Same time next week.”

You busied yourself with stacking the chairs and dusting off your pants. Once most of the group had left, Steve gathered his things and walked over to you. “You take the subway?”

Your head shot up at the sound of his voice, and you stacked the final chair high. “I did. You drive?”

Steve hummed in response, “Want a lift?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re not staying at your place tonight?”

“Nah, I haven’t seen Nat in a week. I should pay her a visit.”

He curled his jacket around your shoulders as you exited the building. You held it tightly, relishing in the comfort. The walk back to the car was quiet but not awkward. After such a heavy night, silence was most definitely needed. And just the comfort of being around someone you trusted added to the relaxation aspect of it all. 

Steve kicked a loose piece of gravel to the street. You watched him for a few seconds before you spoke, voice light and a puff of cold air escaping your lips. 

“Steve?” 

He turned to you and waited for you to continue speaking. 

“You know Sam would be so proud of you doing this, right?”

Steve watched the cold air leave his own lungs as well. He felt the weight of that statement pressing down on his shoulders as he looked up at the dark sky. “I know.”

     Steve knew he was utterly fucked, so fucked that any line that had been established was stepped over and kicked a thousand yards back. His mind was made up, he would not run, he would not succumb to some former mindset 2016 Steve would have fallen victim to. He was a new person, a completely different person than he was out of the ice and after the snap. He deserved to cross the line, he deserved whatever happiness was afforded to him - he deserved comfort in the arms of another after years of denying himself. 

He downed the rest of his drink with a loud gulp, mind made up, and headed back to your room. 

    It was best to just pretend it never happened… no? But did you want to pretend it never did? So many moments over the years where this could have happened, where either of you could have literally just said ‘fuck it’. As overthinking was a specialty, quite a useless skill, you thought about the countless fights you had. 

Red in the face, hands clenched until nails imprinted little crescents, absolutely seething at the mouth. Some of the things you would yell were vile, none at all honest but with the intent to cause pain for only a moment, and mumbled apologies later. You were literally enemies for these past two, long years. Enemies who had to be seated and scolded, tricked into accepting defeat and living as teammates once more. 

Perhaps one of those arguments could have been remedied by simply leaning in like you had tonight, by throwing each other against the wall, by pulling the roots of your hair as he tugged-

Nope. 

Nope. 

No matter how much tension you were now realizing you had for this man, tension that could literally be fucked out, wasn’t it too late to act on it? You couldn’t pinpoint the chance you maybe had and missed. 

Steve walked through the door in the middle of your rapid brainstorming. He just grinned sweetly and slipped into the bathroom. 

As simple as that. 

Now you couldn’t discern between the feelings of wanting to fight him or fuck him. Not being able to differentiate between them ignited a sour mood, and once he stepped out from the shower, you basically pushed him to the side to lock yourself in. 

Even the warm water hitting your body couldn’t alleviate the pressure of overthinking. You disregarded your hair tonight and instead just washed your body. As quick as you could jump back out and go to bed, the better.  

Sucking in a deep breath, you opened the door and shut off the bathroom light. Your eyes landed on Steve’s torso, shirtless and the only thing not covered by the white blanket. He hadn’t shaved his beard either, the length evident when he kissed you earlier. It felt wrong and right at the same time, a battle that you seriously did not want to deal with. To get involved with your mission partner was dangerous - not because Steve himself was dangerous, but because it was a giant distraction. A distraction that you couldn’t afford. 

But as he put down his book and lay it in his lap, looking up to look at you through hooded eyes, sleepy but alert, the ‘danger’ was nothing but enticing. 

You cleared your throat and padded down your pajama shorts absentmindedly, slinging your hair over one shoulder and focusing on plugging your charger into your phone. It was so silent besides your pitter-patter, and god, did Steve find that sound so relaxing, until you climbed into bed. Once your shuffling was done, the slight buzzing of Steve’s desk lamp drowned out all your other senses. And the longer it was heard, the more it sounded like a ticking clock. 

Steve shut the lamp off, the only light now illuminating your figure from outside. He studied your breathing, watching how every so often you would bring your hand up to scratch your cheek or move a stray hair. You looked so gentle, so inviting, so small. 

You were turned away from him and facing the wall, eyes shut as you listened to his movements. There was a small part of you that wanted to stay up all night talking, to lean on his shoulder and simply feel his warmth, to feel that beard against your cheek one more time. As quickly as those thoughts flashed through your mind did you scold yourself, that this was inappropriate and wrong and so dangerous. 

You felt a dip in your bed, heavy and unsure, a lift of your blankets, and it happened so quickly that you could have sworn you dreamt it. Steve wrapped his arm around you, his broad chest pressed tightly against your back and his lips attacked the skin just below your earlobe. Your breath hitched, eyes shot open, and your hands reached up to grip his wrist. Steve stilled. 

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, lips hovering over your blushing skin and breath practically blistering. You could feel him now, hard and pulsing against your ass and ready to move. You felt dizzy, overcome with such a rush of desire that you couldn’t help but stiffen in his tight grasp. 

“Don’t,” you choked out, feeling his body become rigid and his breath begin to quicken. 

“I’m sorry I-” he began to move away from you, voice no longer a whisper and tainted with panic. 

“No,” you pulled back, tilting your head up to lock eyes with him. You brought your arm up to grasp the back of his head, and you tugged it back to your neck. “Don’t stop.”

Yeah, he was utterly fucked. “Fuck,” he groaned, continuing the attack on your neck. But he gained momentum now, arm squeezing you against him tighter, and voice cracking as he moaned your name. 

“Steve, please do something.”

Your hands found their way back to his arm, gripping it tightly as he fumbled with the waistband of your shorts. He played with it, teasing in his actions, almost as punishment for the years you tormented him with your attitude. His lips pressed harder now, finding each patch of available skin on your neck and flushed cheek, and Steve has never felt so aroused in his life. He wasn’t even inside you, but the quick gasps he heard from you did plenty in aiding the rush of blood from his head to his stiffening cock. 

“Tell me what you want. Please, tell me and I’ll give it to you,” he moaned, the slightest experimental role of the hips causing you to whimper. 

“Touch me,” you practically sobbed, rolling your hips back against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt all of him.  

And just like that, he gave you what you asked for. He gripped your hip and shoved you closer to him, hot and ready and pressed firmly against you. He rolled his hips into you, little whimpers of his own touching your sensitive ear. He quickened his pace and he found it hard to think straight when the scrunch of pleasure all over your face, making you look so willing, was all he was focused on. He focused on the way you bit your lip, a bite and then a gasp, and then you were back to biting as if you were trying to restrain any higher moan. And even with only the moonlight illuminating the room, he could see the sun-kissed color of your skin and the bruising he was causing. He kept his mouth on you as he rocked himself against you, indulging in a few more selfish seconds of pleasure before becoming his generous self. 

He dipped his hand into your shorts and found the sweet nub that so desperately needed attention. His brain almost short circuited, the feeling of his fingers finally sliding into your wet lips making his throat dry. He drew little but skilled circles, each twirl of his index and middle finger in unison with the grind of his hips. Your mouth fell open by such pleasure, and you braced yourself by placing your left palm on the mattress and pressed down, nails scratching the cotton fabric and alerting Steve of your excitement. You pushed back against him, timed and in perfect harmony. 

You knew the room wasn’t on fire, but even if it was you didn’t think to check. 

“Keep talking to me, Y/N. Keep talking to me,” Steve begged, each rotation of his hips gaining pressure. His eagerness prompted you to reach back up and grab him by the hair, yanking his head to your tilted one and smashing his lips against yours. Steve gasped at the pleasant sting, somewhat surprised with himself that he liked that form of roughness. But who was he to judge his kinks when the tip of your nose was turning redder, the blush in your cheeks mixed with barely visible silver droplets of sweat, and a purple outline was beginning to form on your plump upper lip? 

The kiss was sloppy, uncoordinated, but still beneficial in getting Steve to rut against you even harder. 

He could so easily pull your shorts down and enter you, and if he was anything like he felt, then you knew it would sting. But you craved that sting and stretch, the thought of him inside you causing another gush of desire to leak from you. Steve dipped his finger deeper into you only to accumulate your juices and spread them higher. He went back to rubbing expertly, actions gaining speed to match your whimpers. 

“Fuck, Steve,” you moaned louder, and you swore you felt tears forming in the corner of your eyes. You pressed back harder, his hand rubbing and pressing down on your stomach simultaneously. Your head felt cloudy, the pleasure coursing through your veins and to the very tips of your toes. “Oh, my fuck.”

Steve paused his fingers to trail his hand back up your stomach and to your breasts, pulling your tank top down to spill them. The sounds leaving your throat set him on fire, desire pulsing everywhere - his head, his heart, his aching cock that was pressed so closely against you that he could feel you vibrating. He pinched your nipple and rolled it, closing his eyes in response to your dirty purrs. “Let me make you come, doll.”

“Wasn’t that the point?” you quipped, ass tilting at an angle that caused Steve to choke. He growled from the attitude he couldn’t believe you still fucking had during a moment like this and kissed you roughly, both your broken moans molding into one. His hand returned to your shorts. 

“Do that again,” he begged, hitching his leg up to rest on yours. The angle allowed him to drive his hips even harder. You maneuvered to provide the same tilt, grinning at the pleasurable cries that left your Captain’s mouth. 

“I think I’m gonna make you come first,” you chuckled and took his bottom lip between your teeth. You pulled lightly, concentration still in the circle of your hips. He looked back down at you, determination and undeniable lust in his eyes. He thrust his aching cock against you, sliding himself over your ass. He did it hard but slow, the pressure applied giving the head of his cock such a sweet squeeze as he bumped it against the curve of your lumbar spine. 

The heavy duvet was abandoned now, cold air from the hotel air conditioner failing in cooling you down at all. You both had a thin sheet of sweat on your clothed bodies, goosebumps standing proudly, and lips all plump and red from your harsh kissing. 

Steve held you so close, so tight, and his fingers were drawing such rushed and tiny circles that you swore his wrist had to be cramping up. But the sound of both your whimpers started to mesh together, alerting you of such a sweet climax up ahead. 

“Steve, fuck, fuck, ohh,” you mewled, voice now high pitched and yes, it turned Steve on incredibly but it also fueled you. Your pornographic moans ignited an even deeper desire within you, just the true fact that Steve was touching you, Steve was getting you to make these sounds, Steve is actually hearing these sounds, Steve is making the same exact sounds. 

 “I-, please, come for me,” Steve pleaded, cock twitching with each thrust as he neared his end. “Make me come.”

His begging, his equally high voice, his skilled fingers rubbing rapidly and the slight pain from that, his breath burning your neck, were all too powerful, their combinations causing the fire in your core to explode and make you see white in a flash, black dots later clouding your vision. Your nails dug into his moving arm, crescents branded into him. You clenched around nothing, walls fluttering and thighs shaking as they pressed around his hand and fingers. 

The inappropriate squelching sound of your juices spreading as your thighs clenched around his cramping fingers, the slide so sensual and dirty, had Steve rutting against you one, two, three more times before he came in hard but long spurts. His mouth hung open, breath still fanning your neck, and his eyes were so tightly shut that the force was enough to strain them. 

“Oh, fuuuck, yes, yes!” Steve groaned, his body taking longer than usual to recover. His orgasm was powerful, more powerful than when he got himself off in the shower or in the comfort of his bed at night, and he knew it was because you clouded his senses. Of course, there was an added benefit to getting off with someone else, aiding that person in the same endeavor, but because it was you, it made the climax even more forceful, more intense. The whole situation was both unexpected and calculated, gentle and rough, and Steve’s heart was beating so fast by the thought of what just occurred that he found himself wanting to spill into you all night long, and to apologize for overstepping an unspoken boundary. 

You could feel the wetness of both your own release and Steve’s, head still cloudy from such a sharp orgasm. You hummed in satisfaction, reaching your arm over once again to lift his head up by his hair. He hissed at the pull now, his body all fucked out and satisfied. “You good?”

Steve gave you a lazy smile, chest heaving in unison with yours. “I’m okay. You?”

“I’m good.”

Steve scanned your face for any regret just in case your words held other meaning, but all he could see was your satisfied expression, cheeks still flushed pink, hair tangled, and pupils dilated. He hesitated for a second before he leaned down and connected your lips, molding his with yours slowly and chastely. You both sighed at the feeling, highs now lowering and the coldness from the air conditioner causing a different set of goosebumps to appear. Steve pulled away, giving you one last peck as if testing the waters, and rested his forehead against yours. You both relished your post-orgasm bliss for a few silent minutes before cleaning up. 

You shared playful shoves as you cleaned up. It was almost innocent, a huge contrast to the sinful activities you two had just committed, but there was a genuine feeling of understanding in the room. Your heart clenched at the simple sight of Steve washing his hands, eyes meeting his in the mirror, a soft look in his that startled you. 

You gave him a smile so as to not alert him of your reaction, and exited the bathroom to climb back into bed. You drew the heavy duvet back over your body and cuddled in it deeply, chin hidden underneath and back facing Steve’s bed. It was a few more minutes before Steve came back into the room, shutting the light off, and looking at your resting form. He wanted to climb back in with you and hold you innocently, to have the feeling of your warm back against his broad chest, gentle exhales tickling the arm that would wrap around you. But he just looked back and forth from your bed and his, and he decided to not push the boundary further. He hesitated with this decision, but climbed into his own bed, the feeling of his cold sheets making him immediately regret it. He shuffled silently, his body facing yours. 

You wanted to lay beside him too. But whether you were making a smart decision or an absurd, cowardly one, one thing was certain: you could no longer ignore the stacking of such emotions you had for this man. 

It almost angered you, how much you denied yourself of even a simple crush for literally ten years, and it made you mad at Steve, too. Because if he hadn’t pushed you away, then maybe you could have accepted this sooner. 

~

TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress​

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #captainsimagines #by Moni #ttag #part five #chapter five #captain america x reader #reader x steve rogers #steve rogers x you #marvel fanfiction #enemies to lovers #to topple #a giant #angst #mob fanfic #read the warnings #avengers x reader #mini-series #reader insert #Smut #trigger warnings listed

[grace13star]

There’s been a recent uptick in posts claiming that “c!Wilbur is a worse villain than c!Dream” or that he’s “more manipulative” and it’s made me think a lot about just....how villainized Wilbur is? Because while he has done bad things, I’ve seen people just making things up or projecting onto him and making him just. so much worse than he is in canon. 

Again, this is all about the characters in the Dream SMP roleplay and are not the actual people. 

Let’s go over the bad things Wilbur is accused of doing. These are arguments I have actually seen people use and defend with their whole chest. 

1. Created a nation. 2. Sell drugs. 3. Talk about rigging an election. 4. Was a dick. 5. Blew up a nation. 6. Died. 7. Manipulation. 8. Neglectful dad. 9. Child soldiers. 10. Dictator. 11. “Threw a fit” over losing. 

Let’s talk about these and break them down a little. Another disclaimer, this isn’t trying to excuse any hurt that Wilbur has caused, because his actions did cause harm, but this is trying to explain and add context to things that are often taken out of context or just wholly misinterpreted.

1. A common argument for why this makes Wilbur evil is that he “stole Dream’s land.” But like...no. L’Manberg was created on untouched land where no one was living, and had a combined area smaller than Purpled’s garden. Dream, until he declared war, didn’t even care about them making their nation. 

I’m also including in here the claim that he “turned Dream into a villain.” ....What are you talking about. Before Wilbur was even on the server, Dream was part of the disc war, where he stole Tommy’s discs, and then kept perusing them even after the initial conflict ended, including griefing Tommy’s lawn. Before war was declared, Dream and his friends kidnapped and killed Tubbo and Tommy. Dream then also declared war on a peaceful nation (Wilbur said “if they try to declare war we will just say ‘no’”). None of that was in any way forced by Wilbur. Dream made his decisions on his own. Just because someone comes in and says “hey you suck,” doesn’t mean you have to actually suck. Dream made his own decisions, and his decision was to become a villain. 

2. Potions (drugs) are an infinite resource in Minecraft and everyone uses them. This is a stupid argument. 

3. Some people act like he actually did rig the election but...he didn’t. He definitely could have! Quackity wasn’t a citizen of L’Manberg, Wilbur could have banned him from the election easily, especially since his running mate was a previous enemy of L’Manberg. But he let him run, and then he let Fundy and Schlatt run as well. The worst he did here was talk about doing something bad. Also the reason he was trying to consolidate power wasn’t just for the sake of having power. There was, at the time, a civil war going on, and Wilbur tried to stop it but no one listened to him. He wanted the power to be able to protect his citizens and stop a war. 

4. Being a dick is not evil.

5. This is by far the worst thing Wilbur did, and though it hurt a lot of people emotionally, it really wasn’t as bad as everyone says it was. Though the explosion caused property damage, it only destroyed the podium and some of the walkway. People’s actual houses- Manifoldland, Niki’s bakery- were totallu untouched. No one even died in the explosion- the worst thing that happened was Quackity being blown back, but he landed in water. (This isn’t to say that characters shouldn’t be hurt by this! Wilbur betrayed them and definitely hurt them, but people acting like the 16th was worse than Doomsday and also blaming Wilbur for Doomsday even though he was dead is weird.)

There’s also the claim that Wilbur blew it up for the sole purpose of hurting people, which is easily disproved by just...watching a Wilbur stream. Like seriously, stop trying to do analysis on Wilbur if you haven’t even watched his streams. Wilbur had multiple chances to blow everything up, but when he had the choice between blowing it up and hurting people or not hurting people and not blowing it up, he chose the latter every time. At the festival, while Tubbo was trapped on the stage, he stopped going for the button. When Tommy and Quackity were in the button room which would have exploded if he pressed it, he refused. Also I’m gonna use the Reddit post that’s confirmed canon again- Wilbur blew up L’Manberg because he saw how much power it had, and he saw how it hurt people. He tried to destroy it to save everyone from the pain and conflict caused by the nation. He didn’t think they would rebuild. 

6. This one is the one that actually makes me angry. Because guys....Wilbur’s death was a suicide. If Phil wasn’t there, Wilbur would have done it himself- he had been planning to do it himself for months, as there was originally TNT in the button room that would have killed him with the explosion. The reason it makes me angry is because suicide is an extremely serious topic. Characters and the fandom framing it as “Wilbur left or abandoned them” is an ableist take that enforces the stereotype that suicide is a “weak” option or that it’s “running away.” 

There’s also people that will villainizing him for “forcing Phil to kill him” but while I empathize with Phil and realize it was a stressful situation, Phil very much made his own decisions here too. Wilbur didn’t force Phil to kill him, he asked him a few times and then Phil did it. 

7. Again, this is not an attempt to excuse, but an attempt to explain. So first of all, people try to claim that Wilbur was manipulative from the beginning. This is false. Persuasion and making sure someone is “loyal to a cause” is not manipulation. And then Pogtopia- he’s never manipulative in Pogtopia, again, he is only persuasive. I have a longer post that goes into more detail, so definitely check that out. After he is revived, he is definitely guilt tripping Tommy in his most recent stream, but (again, not an excuse) it’s clearly from his desperation to not be alone anymore after 13 years of near constant isolation. 

I’ve also seen claims that Wilbur manipulated Techno and that Techno didn’t know they were planning on starting another government, but this is easily disproven by the fact that Wilbur said multiple times that they’re “taking back L’Manberg” and that he wants to be it’s “rightful ruler” again while Techno was in vc. What about that implies they’re not going back to the government. 

Also since this is relevant- he never manipulated Niki. He was always kind and caring with Niki, even through his mental breakdown. He wasn’t able to bring her into Pogtopia at first, but he talked to her and made sure she’d be okay there (and she said yes!), he offered his life for hers at the festival before hitting people around them and yelling at her to run, she was the first person he gave Blue to, he gave her an inspirational speech and showed her the fox that had been left for her, she was one of the few things Ghostbur remembered. He betrayed and hurt her, but it was not manipulation.

Gonna combine this with this point also but Wilbur was not in any way abusive. A lot of people in this fandom for some reason equate “unhealthy relationship” with “abuse”, especially after the exile arc. Wilbur and Tommy’s relationship, while unhealthy, was not abusive. Please learn the difference. 

Also, if you’ve ever said that “Wilbur gaslit anyone” or that Wilbur is “insane” I want you to define those terms for me right now. No looking anything up. Tell me what they mean. Do it.  

8. What about any of Wilbur and Fundy’s dynamic implies any kind of neglect. No, seriously, where did this take come from. Wilbur was canonically overbearing and he babied Fundy. While it definitely wasn’t the best relationship, it definitely wasn’t neglectful. The only times in canon we’ve seen Wilbur be separated from Fundy was when he was exiled and Fundy cheered while he was shot and killed, when Fundy disowned him in front of their enemy, and when he committed suicide. Even before his death, when they were still on rocky terms, Wilbur stepped forward to defend Fundy from Schlatt in the van. 

9. This take is irrelevant. Child soldiers don’t matter. For one, this is Minecraft. Every single person has equal opportunities. Anyone can become powerful no matter what age they are as long as they grind enough. For another thing, at the beginning part of the roleplay no one was trying to make a long serious story about war and trauma, it was just some friends fucking around and fighting each other. Wilbur also revealed that while writing the Revolution arc that he headcanoned Tommy and Tubbo to be about 20- we know these ages aren’t correct because they’ve been reffered to by their irl ages in lore- but it shows that the “these are children” plot point was added way later- no one mentions it at all in season 1. It doesn’t matter. 

10. This is directed at one person. You know who you are. 

A dictator is defined as “one holding complete autocratic control : a person with unlimited governmental power.” Wilbur didn’t have control. That’s the whole reason for the election. It literally takes one google search to prove you wrong. 

11. There’s a difference between “losing” and “being unfairly exiled by your political opponent who is now declaring himself emperor.” Wilbur was totally fine with losing. He said during the election that he was fine with Quackity winning, and when they actually did lose, though he wasn’t happy about it, he encouraged Tommy to calm down and told him “We’re citizens tonight.” He only “threw a fit” after he was thrown out of the nation he built by someone who immediately declared himself emperor. 

So in conclusion, Wilbur Soot is an antagonist, but he is villified way beyond canon and I’m getting tired of some of these takes that I see over and over again that are easily disproved by just using critical thinking skills. 

This is most of the takes I’ve seen- some I haven’t even dignified with a response because of how clear it is that someone is just lying to try and excuse someone else’s actions- but if anyone has anymore they’ve seen that they want me to talk about, my ask box is open. 

#wilbur soot #c!wilbur soot #dsmp #dream smp #wilbur soot character analysis #some character neg i guess? #nothing direct #but c!dream sucks and i make that clear #c!fundy #tommyinnit #c!tommyinnit #tw suicide #tw manipulation #tw gaslighting mention #learn what words mean /threat #c!dream neg #but is it really neg if its canon