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#tw self harm mention
spooky-scary-virgil · 13 hours ago
help i need advice pls
ok so i have to choose what job i want soon. and i’m not the best socially and mentally so rn i’m going to a special school with less people. and there’s another school that’s basically the same, but all the job options there just don’t feel right for me. i don’t wanna sit behind a computer for hours designing posters and websites, and i don’t think i’ll ever be good enough to make a living off of drawing art. i just don’t see myself happily going to school there. but my mom says that this is the best for me, that i should do it (even though she’s always said that i should pick a job that makes me happy). so the other route i can pick is going to a regular school, where i can get a job i want, or at least something that makes me happier. but regular schools have ~90 people in one single class. and yes, it’ll give me a fuckton of stress and anxiety and maybe probably seizures bc of all that stress and anxiety and just thinking about the whole thing is legit making me hella suicidal. but on the other hand, isn’t it better to go thru hell for a couple of years to get decades of a job i love doing, instead of going to the special school and get a job i’m not really happy with? my mom said that if i choose for the normal school she won’t offer me any help, not with homework or emotional and mental help. she’s said that if i do that the past 2 years have been ‘wasted’ (2 years ago my life went to shit, was in the hospital for 8 weeks which meant i couldn’t follow school so i had to do the year over again but it didn’t work out in the end because i was anxious all the time to the point where i cut myself pretty much every day at school). and my mom keeps saying that she wishes she could go to the hospital bc she’s so stressed and overworked bc of everything she does for me. and idk it feels kinda guilt tripping, saying that i’m a major reason of why she’s feeling bad. and also kinda manipulative to basically say that if i go to a certain school she won’t offer me any help whatsoever, that i have to sort everything out by myself. i just don’t know what to do. do i pick the special school and get a job i don’t like or do i pick a school that’ll be heavy on my mental health but which will end up giving me a job i like?
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thehugwizard · a day ago
Random question. What is your opinion on people who are mentally younger than they actually are?
As long as they arent harming anyone or themselves, i dont mind, im not about to judge
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soft-sweater-viking · a day ago
I've been doing pretty terrible lately and a thought came to my mind
How come don't I have the urge to cut?
And after a bit of thought I realized that it's because I've been constantly self harming
By scratching my face until it's sore, and picking the skin off my lips until they bleed
And I've been doing it for a long time
I never even realized it was self harming but
It is
It very much is
I thought I finally got better but no, I just found something that requires even less effort than grabbing a blade
That's just
That's a new low
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diorite-slab · a day ago
it's wild how i'm fine with scratching myself up with safety pins but the second i get a papercut i'll be rolling on the floor in agony
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alsharira · 2 days ago
My pills seemingly stopped working, I’m basically living in prison, self#arm thoughts are returning & the sweet release of death sounds extra sweet nowadays.
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Maybe if I didn’t live in a village of four, and idk lived in a place near a therapist I could talk to (+ points if they don’t call me a sinner with daddy issues who just needs to pray more) maybe then things would’ve been slightly better.
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sadbatgaybat · 2 days ago
tw vent; insecure attachment patterns suicidality toxic mindsets (im really not fucking joking, i need to vent bUT this is heavy af)
i see lots of posts about how ppl are happy when their friends are "as happy even if they answer days or weeks later"... but as I have chronic loneliness and my mood swings r bad when I perceive myself as alone or abandoned, so I am not that good of a person? I feel guilty, because I have never been able to be good at this. The only space I'm able to give is either thru ghosting, self-isolation (self-harming :) and potentially life-threatening bc my friends don't notice (not blaming em)) or sending passive-aggressive threats? I haven't done the latter in years, I'll not do it, I don't want to hurt people, I just want to feel loved(tm). That realization just... hurts me though, because I don't see a few to feel better in a healthy way, because my needs are never met, so I always spiral every few days.
I try to be the most patient I can, and I work on it in therapy (trying to keep hobbies, saying just hi or helping out strangers) (not working well) but in the end my insecure attachment patterns always suck the life out of me? i can't count the times i've been suicidal because i perceived myself as alone and that would last until i got an external reminder that 'wow i actually exist to others, im not hated, jeez what a dumb fuck i am, ofc, punish yourself for being dumb' in the past few months.
that's probably the biggest reason why im mildly-depressed again. and fixing that is hard, and i'll keep tryin. im just eaten alive by my loneliness rn, dont mind me, i dont exist, im not perceived, my friend ignores me, i dont exist since 2018, im literally the best and i got the power to kms if i got the guts. fuck you
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hhayfever · 2 days ago
Looking at the annoying orange tag is self harm. I am taking psychic damage.
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thehugwizard · 3 days ago
Well I cant beat them, so im almost ready to beat myself. Im sorry. - self-love anon
No, no beating
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asktrickytheclown · 3 days ago
Hank: *he scoffed* I dunno why you're so secretive about it. Besides... *he got in front of him, staring him deeply in the eyes* If anyone's hurting you, it's me. *he lets out a chuckle and pinches his cheek* So, you gonna tell me or am I gonna make ya talk?
[Tricky seemed to tense up almost instantly as hank got close to him, staring at him and sweating slightly. It’s not like he liked hank or anything, it’s just someone getting this close to him makes him nervous. Tricky growled a bit at hank pinching his cheek, swatting at his hand]
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anawkwardlady · 3 days ago
Putting things in perspective we really had a scene where Claude and Seb just self harmed on roses and called that a blood pact and we let that slide ? Like ok emos.
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distantsuns · 4 days ago
character interview
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NAME: james alisdair innes (yes i checked his carrd yes the way to spell his middle name is alisdair now can i please remember that) NICKNAME: hates nicknames. lorcan calls him seamus (the irish version of james) affectionately though. but that’s the only nickname he accepts. AGE: 25 in main verse.  SPECIES: does pain in the ass count MORALITY: chaotic neutral. lol RELIGION: atheist. worst case of catholic guilt ever. will give you a 3-hour lecture on why the catholic church sucks if you just ask. SINS: uh... all of them? lmao. probably the biggest ones are lust, wrath and envy. VIRTUES: ok say you want about him personally but the man is a brilliant musician and songwriter. he’s a perfectionist. he’s fiercely loyal to his friends and would do anything for them. although he hates to admit it, he has a fatherly instinct, almost, to protect those around him who he sees as being in need of someone to look out for them. PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: he wants to make good music. music that is remembered after he’s gone. he also dreams, somewhat implausibly, of having a happy, quiet family life - he wants to be a good father, the dad that his own dad never was for him. KNOWN LANGUAGES: english and some gaelic. used to be fluent in gaelic but hasn’t used it in years. knows all the swear words though. also just occurred to me he would know all the catholic prayers in latin cos he thought he was gonna be a priest at one point in his life. [cue laugh track] BUILD: he’s a skinny boy..... never athletic, chronically underweight, his waist size is 28 inches and he has to get all of his trousers tailored or punch extra holes in his belt because THEY NEVER FIT OTHERWISE. HEIGHT: 5′10″ WEIGHT: 125 lbs. but that’s due to his drug abuse (coke makes him not hungry and he forgets to eat for days) and his severe eating disorder. in normal times he’s usually about like. 140 lbs. SCARS / BIRTHMARKS: he has a really nasty habit of putting out his cigarettes on himself when he’s upset. he has some scars on his arms from this but he’s realized it’s easier to do it on his thighs because that leads to less questions. ABILITIES / POWERS: his ultimate superpower is his charisma. his charisma has gotten him out of so much shit and when he chooses to turn it on, people who meet him are almost spellbound. RESTRICTIONS: ok you better give this man his drugs or 1) there’ll be hell to pay and 2) the withdrawals. holy fucking shit. the coke withdrawals are bad enough but he’s also hooked on benzos and those withdrawals are the worst. you wanna see a grown man cry and freak out? watch him after he takes his last valium pill. benzo withdrawals almost killed him once because he had a seizure and passed out. he uses more when he’s on tour than he does when he’s at home. but he can’t get completely off the drugs. FOOD: NOT chocolate cake. cue the gasps. probably like maltesers or something idk. he has a huge sweet tooth. cost him two cavities. will he stop? no. DRINK: nothing beats a good, smooth scotch. nothing. PIZZA TOPPING: probably salami? he’s so gross i hate him. COLOR: blue and gold. MUSIC GENRE: rock i guess. listens to the beatles all the time. good one, james. BOOK GENRE: he’s illiterate. jk. he likes historical books i guess and a bit of fantasy sometimes to distract himself from... life. MOVIE GENRE: omg he’s a sucker for romcoms and those chick flicks. SEASON: summer. all 3 days of it in scotland. CURSE WORD: cunt. i need to have him drop this one more SCENTS: freshly baked pastries. he’s like that beggin’ strips commercial when he smells that. BOTTOM OR TOP: are you kidding you’re talking to the pillow princess of the century here. yes SINGS IN THE SHOWER: all the time. all the fuckin time. calls it his vocal warm-ups even when he’s at home. god
tagged by: tagged by @wolfhymns​ ty! tagging: @hellsholyground @voidbecome @redheid, @redemptioninterlude (for rue or whoever u want!), @hereticalmother​ @bourgeoisieraven​ @constablegoo​ @astralglam​ @cultreviews​ and whoever else wants!
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yeetinguntil3am · 4 days ago
freeze your brain!
shatter your skull, fight pain with more pain!
forget who you are
unburden your load
forget in six weeks, you’ll be back on the road
when the voice in your head says you’re better off dead
don’t open a vein!
...just freeze your brain.
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Me: has a great evening with my best friend who I haven't seen in two weeks.
Me, once I get home: overanalyses everything I said and did. Wants to just disappear. Starts ticcing more from the anxiety. and stimming to try and get out the energy/ calm myself down. Tries to distract self. Succeeds. Then very suddenly doesn't and panic just seizes me and I don't want to be alive and I want to cut crosses on my fave and burn my arms.
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When you want a self harm but then you notice your arms are already scarred up too much and that your legs are clean and then you just start to move on to your legs and you're ashamed but it's a form of release for you and you don't want to tell others because you're scared you'll hurt them and I get that because that's me right now my arm is full of cuts that are still open and my legs are clean might as well move on to those
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the-writing-avocado · 5 days ago
Sins and Scars
A prayer in the form,
of a wish on the wind.
The scars that I bear
Are proof I have sinned.
I hide them from view,
Pretend they aren't there.
When people find out,
They are sure to stare.
With a smile so white,
but a secret so dark.
They never guessed,
I'd carry such marks.
I lack the right words,
So I can't explain.
I'm not seeking attention,
I'm just in pain.
A murder of crows,
with feathers so black.
Are still a few shades lighter,
Than the wings on my back.
I'm choking on guilt,
I've done something wrong.
I should have told them,
They would have helped me along.
That's what they say,
In the aftermath of my demise.
The blame it on me,
I'm not the victim in their eyes.
It's my fault I'm gone,
I did everything wrong,
I suffered on my own,
So it's my problem alone.
How dare they
How. Dare. They.
So incompetent.
So blind.
My pleas fall between the lines.
So prideful.
So wrong.
It's their fault I'm gone.
So eager to drag me down.
So eager to put me to work.
So eager to make me comply.
The don't see it's what make me hurt.
Slave to demand.
And menial rules.
Trapped in a system.
Lead by power hungry fools.
I'm a pawn in a game.
So my fault is my own.
I have no where to turn.
No light to call home.
But I've my suffering,
Is fuel for a light.
I pray that at least,
Someone may pick up the fight.
A future will arrive,
when more than one child will learn.
That the system is done for,
And now it must burn.
One day it'll crumble,
with time or by force.
And from the ashes,
Will happier course.
Like a new born Phoenix,
Fuelled by heart of the brave.
My skin had rotted now,
But I smile from my grave.
Scars were my sins,
but now their my pride,
I've fought for my life,
So I don't have to hide.
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mayalopez · 6 days ago
Are they gonna provide mental health care to malice/Alice??? This girl is suicidal and got brought back from what I can tell against her will. Also uh Betsy talking about how she didn't like her body was hmm an interesting choice considering she's a body snatcher.
i believe the new mutants noticed a lot of the younger ones suffering from depression, self harm, destruction, etc due to lack of structure/time etc so they sent a letter to xavier requesting resources and like overall permission to help them so i think alice will be able to find mental health care there n also yeah they did bring her back against her will ... which idk really made me jrhbjhasbdhja bc like 1. she wanted to die 2. they brought her back without deciding whether they were going to imprison her or not. like imagine if they brought her back against her will just to imprison her
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vxntxrt · 7 days ago
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Self sabotage as a means of feeling again
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bpdaze · 7 days ago
it just hit me yesterday that i really was six whole ass years clean when i relapsed. i should be more upset but at the same time i feel like i deserve it so whatever.
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