#it took like 3 or 4 years for me to even be brave enough to talk to people

[kaledya]

Bonjour. Guess who returned!!

I saw your post on how you can't really draw at the moment because of your back, I hope you'll be back at your thing soon ❤️

But to the questions, mainly about side characters:

1) I am curious about Mammon's daughter's character in further detail. Did you come up with a name yet? You said we could compare her to Charlotte from Princess and the frog in her sassiness and general demeanour, but is she really a bad person like her father or is she actually a good girl? How would she react if she found out (unless she knows) how Mammon treats his employees, mainly Fizzarolli (unless his character history changed in Sinners Symphony), for example Mammon threatening Fizz after announcing he's quitting his job? And lastly, what is her relationship with her "cousins" and "uncles/aunties"?

2) I was thinking about Bee's son, mainly about who's the father? I mean, since Beelzebub is currently dating Tex (unless she isn't dating him in Sinners Symphony), is he his father or not? If he isn't (which, Let's be real, I guess he isn't) what does he view him like, unless he doesn't know about him. What is his relationship with his mother like? Depending on the answer to the previous question, who was his real father and where is he now? What did Bee's son think about this? And lastly, do you have a name for him and again, what is his relationship with his "cousins" and "aunt's/uncles"?

3) What else could Belvedere (my precious favourite side OC of yours) do? We know he's a butler, and a good one for sure, and a teacher/nun for the royal offsprings, but where else his capabilities may lay? I doubt this is all he can do, perhaps he is more like Alfred than we thought?

Is the picture above accurate to reality? (Please be true please be true XD)

I just really want to see more of Hell's Alfred Belvedere in the future

4) Recently we have been revealed that there isn't such a fool that would fight Constantine. But let's say there would be a sinner that would be brave enough (or perhaps have nothing to lose?) to stand up against him for their honest opinion, for example speaking out what they think about his cold logic at the expense of his feelings and lack of empathy, and how they disagree with it (let's say based upon their experience in human life), perhaps even mock it. How would he react?

I just hope you'll get alright, and I will continue to watch your career with great interest.

Have a nice day/night, and may we meet again

Richard

Her name is Monet her nickname is Mone (I hate you Mammon) this name meaning wealty protector.

She's truly her father's girl, but

I can't call him completely bad. So let's look at it this way, she is the daughter of a sin and one of the most noble beings in hell. Why would someone like this treat imps well or respect them? Imps are beings located almost in the lowest layer of hell and have short lives. Monet grew up being taught that she was far superior to them In other words, she does not build the sets for evil, she does not think that what she does is wrong.

And in the scene where Fizz swears at mammon and quits, Monet took her father's side

"How dare that imp insult a Sin, even though my Dad spent his precious time for him!?

Monet even goes on stage and tells Fizz this

"I don't know what you think about your relationship with my uncle, but all you have your worthless body, you'll grow old and die, and all that's left will be my poor, heartbroken uncle."

""If you ask me, if you really loved him, you wouldn't put him through this pain."

Monet is really sassy and outspoken, but technically she's telling the truth here. Sins are immortal beings and 50 or 100 years is a very short time for them.And yes, according to Monet, Fizz is a pet. After all, you love your pet very much, but you know that it will die before you.And here Monet really doesn't want her uncle to be sad or heartbroken.Even though Mammon has a bad relationship with Oz, Monet loves her uncle.

After what Monet said, when Oz talks to Monet, Monet thinks, "Did I say something wrong?"So she doesn't realize that what she says is bad.

____

2-His nickname is Wasp

Wasp's father was a hellhound and died of old age a long time ago.Wasp really loved his father and had a good relationship with him.

Wasp considers his mother's relationship with Vortex normal. Bee had not had a relationship for 150 years, and when she became lovers with Vortex, Wasp was happy for his mother.

He's not on bad terms with Vortex, they're not too close.

Bee and Wasp have a really good relationship. Wasp is already very similar to his mother and likes the same things, so they have a very close bond.

He and Charlie are close, kind of like the Wasp, the fun cousin who loves to party.And they both have the same level of high energy,That's why they get along so well.

Wasp and Monet, they love to spend good time together and have fun. So they're really on good terms.

Constantine does not like Wasp's attitude and finds him irresponsible and childish. Wasp likes to get on Constantine's nerves.

Wasp finds the Satan's daughter very serious and boring, and the Satan's daughter finds him annoying. But still, their relationship is not bad, they get together from time to time and spend time.

3- Belveder is Alfred in every sense

He is a great and very strong warrior and also a very knowledgeable person.Someone who has been loyal and served Lucifer for centuries, even when lucifer was at his worst.

Belvedere is someone who gets his strength directly from Lucifer, so he can fight against most nobles without any difficulty if he wants, and he never loses his gentlemanly air while doing so.

He doesn't have a family himself, but he cares for Constantine and Charlie as if they were his own children.

Even though he is a hell born who is not born as a noble race, he is someone who no one will show the slightest disrespect to, thanks to his current position.

4.It is very rare for Constantin to talk to a sinner. He rarely talks even to overlords. The mere thought that a sinner could talk to him is an insult to him; if that sinner shows even the slightest disrespect, he will die right there.

Constantine is the prince of Hell, but he is disgusted with sinners. How dare a sinner come and criticize him?Just for this reason, that sinner crosses his limits.And he gets punished for it.

But if that sinner speaks logically and Constantine thinks they are right, he will not kill him, he will listen the sinner, and if he thinks the sinner is smart enough to deserve an answer, he will answer. So if you're smart and talk logically, chances of survival are higher.

The reason for Constantine's patience and tolerance towards the sinners in the hotel is Charlie, Charlie's presence protects them, especially Alastor. Constantine may be a loving brother to Charlie, but he is very cruel to others.

Have a good day too!

#hazbin hotel au

[pjohoo-reclists]

Dark Percy Jackson Fic Recs

Request: Looking for some completed dark Percy fics.

Here's a few. I would also recommend checking out my Percy in Tartarus and Powerful Percy Jackson rec lists as well. Enjoy!

Dominus Veneni by Death_o7

T | 1.1k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase

Dark Percy Jackson, Akhlys, Tartarus

HoO glossed over Percy's outburst in Tartarus too fast so I'm making an one shot from it.

Mind Control by DancingInTheSliverGlow

T | 1.2k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Dark Percy Jackson, Percy has god like powers, Scared Annabeth Chase

Tartarus had its own rules. Fire was drinkable. The ground was the body of a dark god. The air was acid, and demigods could be turned into smokey corpses. Compared to that, the idea of controlling poisons was… easy. Percy glared at the poisonous lake around him. He focused, and reached with the part of his mind that allowed him to control water. The poisonous tide stopped. The fumes blew away from him and back towards the goddess. The lake of poison rolled toward her in tiny waves and rivulets. Akhlys took a hesitant step back. “What is this?!” She looked alarmed, scared even. Percy thought it was a good look on her. “Poison,” Percy snarled at her. “That’s your specialty, right?”

Only When You're Older, You'll See It Too by Butterflies_Stormclouds

T | 1.8k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Poseidon, Percy Jackson & Dionysus, Percy Jackson & Apollo, Percy Jackson & Hermes

Loss of Innocence, Deity Percy Jackson, Dark Percy Jackson

It's been mentioned throughout the years that Percy is a "good god." Millennia pass before he finally proves them - his father, cousins and family - are all correct.

are you the saint (that burned the gods of man) by maverickk

T | 2.0k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & The Seven

Feral Percy Jackson, Dark Percy Jackson, Blood Control

The Argo II gets boarded by pirates. This goes as well as expected, until they piss Percy off.

Five Times Percy Felt More Than Human, and the One Time He Came Home by kitty_pryde_bi_pride

G | 2.0k | Complete

Percy Jackson, Sally Jackson

Dark Percy Jackson, Powerful Percy Jackson, Family Feels

Percy is 17, almost an adult, when he masters control over his father’s domain. He hasn’t hit a ceiling on his power yet and he doesn’t think he ever will, but he feels strong enough that he can barely remember the fear of losing he felt at 12 when he fought the minotaur.

show me your worst (show me you're cursed) by maverickk

T | 2.1k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Calypso, Calypso & Leo Valdez, Percy Jackson & Leo Valdez

Powerful Percy Jackson, Dark Percy Jackson, Camp Half Blood

Percy's war is over, leaving him free to relax and try to adjust to the tentative peace. Leo's war is still going, though, and Percy's never been able to leave his companions to fight their battles on their own. Even if it means visiting someone he wouldn't mind never seeing again. Part 3 of I Hear You're Alive (How Disappointing)

we'll brave this storm by maverickk

T | 2.3k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Poseidon

Dark Percy Jackson, Moral Dilemmas, Post-Tartarus

Poseidon won't pretend to understand what his youngest son is going through. But that doesn't mean that Percy will be going through it alone. Part 4 of I Hear You're Alive (How Disappointing)

i'll find him by maverickk

T | 2.4k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Tyson, Minor Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo & The Seven

Dark Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson's Fatal Flaw, Earthshaker Powers

Tyson has been taken, and Percy's on a warpath. Someone is going to pay.

bury me underneath this bloody grave by keigold

M | 2.4k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Bob | Iapetus, Past Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Character Study, Dark Percy Jackson, Bob | Iapetus is a Sweetheart

There is no one here to stop him from reaching out with a bruised hand and snagging monster blood, grabbing ahold of their dancing molecules and tearing them apart - no one here to stop his descent into becoming the thing he feared the most. or; What if Percy went through Tartarus alone?

the shark in your water by southslates

M | 2.6k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Poseidon, Percy Jackson & Gabe Ugliano

Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sally Jackson is a Good Parent, Abusive Relationships, Dark Percy Jackson

Percy understands a lot, not arithmetic or the alphabet but he understands a lot about the way the world works, can’t quite understand Gabe’s place in it.

five times percy leaned on his friends, and the one time he stood alone by kitty_pryde_bi_pride

G | 3.5k | Complete

Percy Jackson, Jason Grace, Grover Underwood, Tyson

Dark Percy, BAMF Percy Jackson, Morally Grey Behaviour

Percy meets his friends on the battlefield and they all know he’s unbeatable, even alone. And he is alone, even with the sea and the earth and the blessing of the Styx and the blood in their veins- he can tell they think he’s gone as mad as Luke.

a rose by any other name by IzzyMRDB

T | 3.8k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Poseidon

Worldbuilding, Eldritch Horror!Percy, Dark Percy Jackson

It wasn't Poseidon who met Sally on that beach on Montauk, but rather a far older, much more ancient version of him. Percy is born far older and younger than he should be.

Kill the Hero by maverickk

T | 13k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Dark Percy Jackson, Scared Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug

"A slow death!" Misery had crowed at him. "A death from a thousand poisons!" And it was. It was slow, and painful, and terrible, and Percy wished he could he could say he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemies. But it wasn't his death, it was Akhlys's—and she deserved so much worse. In which Percy Jackson goes A Bit Too Far, Annabeth Chase gets A Bit Too Scared, and the story changes for the worse. Part 1 of I Hear You're Alive (How Disappointing)

You don't believe in one divine (But can you tell me you believe in mine?) by anxious_tofu

M | 21k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Dionysus, Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Post-Tartarus, Dark Percy Jackson, Deity Percy Jackson, Psychological Trauma

With a looming threat on the horizon, Percy delves into parts of himself he hasn't touched since Tartarus.

Trust is Nothing by maverickk

T | 33k | Complete

Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo, Gaea

Hurt Annabeth Chase, Dark Percy Jackson, Blood Control

Percy Jackson had been left, alone, in Tartarus. His trust in his best friend was shattered. His loyalty was owed to no one. His energy went into keeping himself alive, and if he had to delve into darker and more deadly powers, so be it. But now he's out, and he has work to do. In which Percy Jackson, hopefully, manages to win a war, flip off Annabeth Chase, and take a much-needed nap. Not in that order. Part 2 of I Hear You're Alive (How Disappointing)

Enriched By Envy by HK44

M | 63k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Nico di Angelo

Dark Percy Jackson, Angst, Secret Crush, Jealously

Waking up at the bottom of the ocean was not on Nico's bucket list. Trying to figure out why Percy was suddenly so clingy and possessive of him wasn't on there either.

Percy In Tartarus by May1974 (bluefeye)

M | 111k | Complete

Past Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Minor/Background Relationships

House of Hades rewrite, Post Tartarus, Dark Percy Jackson

Percy falls into Tartarus alone.

Blood-Red Herring by DAsObiQuiet

T | 142k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Tartarus Survival, BAMF Annabeth Chase, Protective Poseidon

The Olympian gods have a history of making monumentally bad decisions and not learning from their mistakes. Of course that'll come back to bite them, and everyone seems to think Percy will be the one doing the biting. Thing is, he's tired and just wants to live a normal life. Too bad literally no one believes him except his friends, and now he has to survive the consequences of yet another one those monumentally bad decisions. AKA: Tartarus nearly destroyed Percy the first time, in more ways than one. It's worse the second time. So much worse. And this time, he has no way out. He desperately clings to the one thing he knows without a doubt: 'I have to stay alive for when Annabeth comes for me'. Because she will.

Falling For You by 1967HogwartsGoddess

T | 270k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & The Seven, Percy Jackson & Poseidon

Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, House of Hades, Dark Percy Jackson

In an alternate series of events, Percy saves Annabeth from falling into Tartarus. Too bad he can't save himself. As Annabeth leads the Seven on a treacherous quest to meet him at the Doors of Death, Percy fights through a wasteland of pain, torture and difficult choices. Surrounded by monsters, alone in the darkest corner of the underworld, he starts to question whether he's a good kid anymore. Final chapter is an AU following on from chapter 66.

#percy jackson #hoo #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #rec list #rick riodan #rrverse #ao3 #heroes of olympus #annabeth chase #dark percy jackson #dark Percy #percy jackson x annabeth chase #percy x annabeth #percy jackson/annabeth chase #percy/annabeth #powerful percy #poseidon & percy #powerful percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #bloodbender percy jackson #bloodbending #percy in tartarus #tartarus #poseidon #sally jackson

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ace Trappola - Platinum Jacket Voice Lines

When Summoned: A museum that's been around for 100 years, huh. Guess I might as well have myself a good time, since I'm here.

Summon Line: Can't believe this museum decided to pick someone from our academy to be a supporter for their 100th Anniversary... They must've been feeling especially brave, huh?

Groooovy!!: You gotta live your life with cunning. Just like how the walrus did when he took advantage of the oysters' curiosity.

Home: Yaaay, it's the 100th Anniversary!

Home Idle 1: Ortho was saying that the pictures we can see on the internet and these real paintings feel completely different. I mean, yeah, I get it, feels like the real thing has more impact.

Home Idle 2: Jamil-senpai can cook and handle a basketball awesomely, too. I bet he's real good with his hands. What if he knows how to draw, too?

Home Idle 3: Bet it was real hard following all the Queen of Hearts' laws to the letter. If I were one of the card soldiers, I'd probably slack just enough to not get caught.

Home Idle - Login: I wonder if I'm even worth being a supporter to a museum like this. I got no interest in art appreciation whatsoever.

Home Idle - Groovy: Lilia-senpai did nothing but tease me, man. I'd love to get him back for it, but I have a feeling nothing I do would faze him.

Home Tap 1: I can really feel my own posture straighten up when I look at the painting of the Queen of Hearts. Heh, more like, it reminds me of my own demon Housewarden.

Home Tap 2: What does a guy have to do to learn how to draw such spirited paintings? I bet if I could figure out the trick, I'd be able to get good grades in art class.

Home Tap 3: Trey-senpai was saying that he doesn't really understand art, but I wonder if that's really true. I feel like he'd be good at it, what with all those cakes he makes.

Home Tap 4: Maaan this place is much bigger than I thought it'd be, and there's so much to look at. Wanna go take a break at the café?

Home Tap 5: My scarf is pinned with a rose corsage. Cool, huh? Eh, you want to borrow it? Hmm, should I let you～?

Home Tap - Groovy: Hey, hey... Woah, why're you that surprised? You must've been way too focused on the art to not notice someone calling out to you. But that shocked face you just made... Hahaha, that is the true masterpiece!

Duo: [ACE]: Lilia-senpai, let's finish this off with a bang! [LILIA]: Let's go all out, Ace.

Birthday Login Message: Oh, and here you are. You came to celebrate my birthday, right? That's totally obvious. I wonder what I should ask you to do for my birthday～ ...Ah, I feel like eating at a restaurant I've never gone to before. Don't worry, I won't pick a place that's way too expensive or anything. Let's just enjoy ourselves in a restaurant where we don't need to mind any rules or manners.

Requested by Anonymous.

#twisted wonderland #twst #ace trappola #lilia vanrouge #twst ace #twst lilia #twst translation #twst birthday #mention: ortho #mention: jamil #mention: riddle #mention: trey

[felony-bunny]

Malleus x non-gendered reader

Scenario: Malleus doesn’t understand how mc doesn’t fear him. He doesn’t know if they’re brave, dumb, or not afraid of death. Spoiler they’re all of the above.

Btw I’m on chapter 6 and have no clue what happens in the next chapter.

LETs GET INTO THIS MOFO

(I wrote this all forever ago but I thought that I could add more to make it better but I was wrong. For some reason this was so fucking difficult. This isn’t the first time I’ve done a oneshot too. I literally do not think that I could write anymore twst oneshots because of how bad this came out. I’m literally so sorry. You can read if you want but I hate this so so much. And also sorry for the wait.)

Most people feared Malleus’s strength. That’s what he was used too. He usually didn’t focus on people enough to care but you were different. He could understand how you weren’t scared before you know how he was but even after you found out you still called him by that silly nickname and acted the same towards him. Every once and awhile he tries to think of a reason for this.

1.) You are actually really stupid

2.) You’re some sort of narcissist and think you two are on the same level

3.) You have short term memory loss

4.) You’re stupidly brave

5.) You do not fear death

He crossed out 2 and 3 after hanging around you for a bit. But even after all the times you two have hung out he still hasn’t been able to understand how you work. One day his curiosity took over and he asked you outright.

“Child of Man?”

“Yea yea?” You absent mindedly replied as you balanced on some old bricks.

“Why don’t you seem to fear me? You have many reasons to be.”

Well standing on one wobbly brick you looked up at him “Why should I? It’s not like you’ve hurt or threatened me.”

Do you not realize how much of a threat he can be?

“Still…“

“Still what? Listen I get you’re pretty overpowered, like everyone wastes money on pulls for you in Gacha games kind of overpowered.”

Huh?

“But you’ve been nice to me and that’s all I really need to trust you.”

He didn’t like the next words that came out of his mouth but he needed to know

“Child of man, I could easily kill you. Do you know how much of a danger I could be to you if I chose to?”

You both stand there for a minute.

Did he mess up?

Did he bring up something you haven’t thought of and now you were scared?

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I mean if you ever did kill me it would suck but whatever.” You look down at the brick wobbling.

Did you just say whatever at the possibility of being fatally injured?

“Why don’t you value your own life?”

“Is that really a question? What about my life actually has value? I mean it’s not guaranteed that I’ll go back home or that I’ll be able to start a new life here and if I do go back let’s say three years later I’d have to go back to school and waste a shit load of time and money on it. Honestly there are millions of things that could go wrong. It’s pretty difficult just existing here and not knowing what’s going on at home but whatever.” You jump off the brick and continue walking “At the end I just have to believe that things will string together and I don’t have to worry.” You spin around to face him and smile.

You say the weirdest things but still enchant him every time. Your a brave idiot who doesn’t care about how badly things could end and just put it up to luck, but that made him love you.

He smiled “I see. My apologies that was a foolish question on my part.”

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst incorrect quotes #twst #twst wonderland #twst headcanons #twst mc #twst yuu #twisted wonderland x reader #twst malleus #twisted wonderland malleus

[med-ex]

feelin rlly idk HAPPY?? over this franchise as a whole✨

I wasn't even alive for Fallout 1 & 2 - but upon entering the world 3 years after they were released, would grow up hearing its name constantly... never did i think it would take GTA's place as my favourite video game series. Like literally never thought the weird little isometric game talked about by my older cousins would be the one.

I played Fallout 3 at the worst period of my life- it became a pure escape from graduating high school, becoming a severe alcoholic and moving off my mountain into my province's capital city. I was in love with it to the point that when I came home to my family home to visit, I would haul my xbox 360 in my backpack and strap my little tv to my back with a rope- ✨that's✨ how addicted I was to it.

It resonated with me in a way no other game series has. No, I obviously didn't grow up in the same standards as the wastes, but could resonate with foraging for food, no clean water & mess, destruction and despair everywhere you turned.

Fast forward a year or so, and I try Fallout: New Vegas. This is where it finally became my favorite series ever. I could list all the reasons, but they're similar to what you'll see all over the net; it's just amazing. I already was all "fuck the government" since I was a child but it made me think- think about the rule of authority, think about perseverance, weigh out what "right" and "wrong" truly means and the blurred line between the two.

By the time I was 21, I tried Fallout 4. It took some getting used to in the terms of its modern graphics, but I really loved how I got to experience conversations that felt like I was actually having them. I loved building the world back up and when I was brave enough to try mods- then shit got real interesting. I was already obsessed with Fallout 3 & NV but we can thank Fallout 4 for getting me into the community as a whole.

I was one of the ones to make fun of FO76- the launch was a huge part of that, but I just didn't understand how it could ever truly fit into the Fallout series. I played it for the first time when I was 2022, and now after 2 years I wholeheartedly regret shitting on it so hard. There are so many cool quests/stories and though some of them are silly seeing as it's online-based and they need to cater to that and though it's a bit strange at first, it feels so cool to be around other players adventuring the wastes + actually having to persist to build your own base, feed yourself and survive- as console commands don't exist in the same realm they used to with the earlier titles.

Now, we arrive at the airing of the first Fallout television show. I seriously thought it was gonna be shit- I just couldn't imagine them being able to do a good job but as we can see, here we are. The show is amazing and I didn't even know it was something I wanted so badly. The only real-life renditions of Fallout I've seen is that one live action trailer for 76 + cosplay- so seeing it in film, is seriously so fucking cool.

Idk guess im just gettin a little ✨sentimental✨ towards a series that has given me so many lessons, so much ability to cope with my own shit + gotten me into such a fun community filled with funny jokes, amazing art, discussions and rich lore that maybe one day could leave the video game + TV screen and become even a book.

Ty to the crew of original artists who started this back in the 90s, and thank you to the crew of artists at Bethesda in this current century who kept this game going💖

#fallout #fallout series #fallout amazon #fallout tv series #fo4 #fo76 #fo3 #fnv #bethesda game studios #bethesda #fallout prime #fallout 4 #fallout 76 #fallout 3 #piqttextpost

[kookblurx]

1920 - jjk [ chpt 4. ]

→ SUMMARY: a photo of a beautiful smiling boy; an old tree in your grandparents garden ... and a feeling of sadness. all those things are connected to each other ...

→ GENRE: time travel au; changing fate au; rencarnation au; university au; death; sickness; historical setting; trigger topics; smut; dirty talk; switching between present and the past.

→ chapt. 3 / chapt. 5

→ RATING: 18+

→ NOTE: thank you for blowing up the first chapter with so many reblogs and welcome to all new followers. also if there are any creative people among us, feel free to design a header for this story. i will try to include every pic in the next chapters + linking your account. ( no must! ). Also please enjoy the second chapter <3 DISCLAIMER; this is a piece of art, not many events will be historically correctly.

BTS MASTERLIST ♡.°₊ˎ PLAYLIST FOR THIS CHAPTER

The Present:

You waited until your Grandparents went do bed. As the mansion fell silent you finally had the courage to get out of your room. The red skin underneath your eyes indicated that you cried after coming back. to your dissapointment the fairy wasnt with you, no matter how much you had screamed into your room. even the chat guy didnt came online anymore, while so many questions were burning on your tounge. jungkook was a kind man. a kind man who doesnt deserve to die. on tippy toes you made your way over into the library again, sure that there must be something, hidden inside one of the old books. the light was dimm which made it hard to see a thing. only the nearest books were well lit enough to make out the letters on the back of them. with a sigh you pulled 30 books out of their respective place. as you sat down on the ground with them your fingertips slid over the back of each one of them. all of those book were from the year 1918 to 1920. you were sure that you would find something about jungkook in earlier books. books no one had the idea to look into them before you. just because he died in 1920 doesnt mean there arent records about him from earlier.

but as soon your fingers wanted to open the book a knock was heard behind you. your whole body froze, there it was again, another little knock. gulping heavily you turned around to the big window, there was nothing seen beside the huge moon on the sky. there it was again. annoyed you stood up, brave enough to face whatever made that sound. with both hands you opened the huge windows, looking around but there was no one ... until ...

"hey! down here!"

your gaze went downwards into your grandparents garden. at the sight of that stranger you nearly stumbeled backwards. this cant be right? there is no way, right? underneath the small balcony there was a boy, smiling up at you. you knew that smile, of course, because you already saw it two times.

"W-Who are you?" your voice was a whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

"Pff ... you wrote with me earlier. Im Jimin by the way!" before he could shout more you decided to wave him up.

to your suprise Jimin was really skilled in climbing, it didnt took him long to jump on your balcony.

"do i wanna know how you knew where i live?"

another grin from him "your IP adress baby. You should get a VPN when you write with strangers"

you just rolled your eyes as he just went inside, in the meantime you closed the windows. Jimin looked around the library, whistling at all the books. thats when you noticed that he had a huge bag with him. before you could ask he sat down between the scattered books and opened his bag. there were a lot of different documents which he places right in front of him.

"come, im sure this will be of your interest" jimin waved you to him.

a bit hesitant you sat down beside him. it was still so weird. he looked like park jimin, his name was jimin and he even smiled like him. was park jimin his ancestor? shaking your head you took one of the documents into your hands. on the paper were various dates and locations.

"be careful. i need to bring them back later ... i got in a lot of trouble obtaining these. my uncle nearly killed me there" he took another paper and held it in front of your face. it showed a family tree and many more dates. "here look. thats jeon jungkook's family tree. do you notice something strange?"

"it ... stops after him" your fingers traced the letters of his name. underneath the blurry picture and his name .. was nothing. the family stopped continueing.

"exactly. he was the last one. no siblings, no nephews, no cousins. he was the only and the last one of his family."

"so you mean ..."

Jimin clicked with his tounge "the rumour that his family got rid of all the info involving him .. isnt true. because there is no family left. his family and family name died with him."

you couldnt wrap your head around it. if it wasnt his family, who was it then? slowly something struck you as your gaze moved back into jimins face.

"say Jimin, are you ... maybe related to Park Jimin? A guy who was Jungkook's best friend"

"hm yeah. thats why i was able to get all of these. I dont know why they were hidden on our attic tho"

"what was the relationship between your family and the Jeon's?!" out of the blue you grabbed Jimin's shoulders.

"Yah! I- I dont know! i just stumbled over them after i searched the attic for more clues" maybe jimin was really clueless. but what if it was his family who got rid of every trace Jungkook left?

Your hand reached out for another document on the top of it was a picture of Kook. much better quality than the one on the family tree. as usual he was smiling, brightly. you couldnt understand how someone would be able to kill such a positive person. seeing him smile like this and knowing what fates awaited him, made your heart break a bit. Jimin noticed that as he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"why are you so invested in his case? i mean, im a history nerd but you? you dont seem like it"

for a second you werent able to find the right words as they got stuck inside your throat "I ... I just ...-"

the more you looked at the picture the heavier your heart felt. there was something inside your chest, it tightened and suddenly out of the blue you heard the female voice again:

"oh come dont be like that. Smile for me! You know i love your smile!"

your heart grew heavier ... then there was another voice

"why ... why are you always leaving. dont go. what if you die out there?! ... i dont care if its your duty! Please stay with me!"

slowly a tear rolled down your cheek. the document you just had in your hand slipped out of it and onto the ground. jimin tried to shake your shoulder, saying something but you couldnt hear him. because the next thing you heard wasnt a womans voice, it was the voice of a men:

"dont worry okay? i will come back. i always came back to you. you will see, we will be together soon. just wait for me!"

with that sentence the time suddenly stood still. as the tears rolled down your cheeks you finally noticed that the shaking had stopped. slowly you looked around, finding jimin frozen in place beside you. one of your hands reached out to your cheek, wiping away all the tears which just kept going and going.

"you heard it right?" there she was again, the fairy sat down on one of the books. her eyes looked at all the documents on the ground in front of her "you heard his voice and .. her voice."

"that was ... his voice right? Jungkook's voice. it sounded so real ... it sounded like he was right next to me"

the fairy nodded a bit "your life and his fate are deeply connected to each other. it wasnt a coincidence that you came here Y/N. it was fate."

everything was too much. you were always able to hear voices which werent there, back in university. but you always told yourself that you were tired because of all the exam stress you had. now this fairy is telling you why you hear those voices.

"he needs you Y/N. You found another trigger point within those documents ... are you ready to travel again? to the day that picture was taken?" the fairy pointed at the smiling face of Jungkook "dont worry, the time here will stand still. he wont notice that you are gone"

wiping away your tears you looked over to jimin again. the fairy was right, your fate was to help junkook, to prevent the things that had happened to him. slowly you stood up, nodding a bit.

"yes.. im ready. take me to him"

taglist:

@junecat18 @hellbornsworld @stupendouscookiehumanmug

#bts #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts fake scenarios #bts fanfiction #jungkook #bts reaction #bts reactions #bts hard hour #bts fanfic #bts fanfics #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #kpop fanfiction #bts edits #bts x reader #bts jungkook #jimin #jimin x reader

[stevesbipanic]

Boy For All Seasons

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Ao3

On the final night of 1985, Steve hosted a party. Well, less of a party and more just Steve, Eddie, Robin, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byer,s and Jonathan's strangely chill friend Argyle who had followed him to Hawkins for the holidays. When Steve had told Eddie of the little get-together Eddie was a bit excited, a chance for a Harrington party experience without the fear of getting beat up or having to sell.

He and Nancy had actually gotten along great at the Christmas party and she had insisted that she would help tutor Eddie once school returned so that they could all graduate this year. Steve was supplying the beer and Eddie was going to bring along some joints until Steve had told him Argyle was bringing some good shit from the coast and he wasn't going to pass up free weed.

Eddie had loved 1985, an almost perfect year thanks to the beautiful boy beside him that was now passing him the joint. Maybe next year would be even better if Eddie got up the courage to tell Steve how he was feeling. He was going to go for it, one last holiday tradition to seal the deal, a kiss at midnight.

"What no costume for this technically a holiday, Eds?"

"I did brainstorm one, sweetheart but I decided probably wasn't the best to cover myself in fireworks and then smoke weed."

Steve giggled at this, the beer and weed allowing him to relax for once. Steve had told Eddie a lot about his nightmares, no specifics, something always seemed to stop him, a lot were about the fire or some dogs that tried to attack him and the kids. It didn't happen every night but some nights Eddie would wake up to Steve's side of the bed empty or muffled cries beside him. Eddie hated those nights, and wished he could take all of Steve's hurt away. At least in the daytime, he could give Steve this, a distraction.

"What's your new year's resolution, Stevie?"

Steve laughed, "Does anyone really mean those?"

"No, but they're fun, c'mon I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Be braver," Steve says gazing softly at Eddie, Eddie wishes he would look that way forever.

"Now Stevie, who's telling you you're not brave, hmm?"

"Robs, says I'm a wuss, don't go for things right in front of me."

"Is that so, well, I'll have to talk to our little birdie, get her to get you some slack, bravest boy I know, baby." Steve blushed and ducked his head away, Eddie took this as a win, maybe he'd be brave tonight too.

"Alright, what's yours Eds?"

"I think being braver sounds like a good one," Eddie said smirking. Steve gasped at this shoving Eddie playfully.

"You can't steal mine that's cheating!"

"Why can't we share! Sharing is caring Stevie!" Eddie yelled shoving Steve back, the two boys tussled playfully ultimately Steve getting the upper hand, hovering over Eddie.

"C'mon Eds, what do you want to do next year?" Steve said softly, eyes sparkling.

The word was on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to say "you", that he wants Steve next year, not just as a best friend or a bed warmer or someone to tease on holidays but someone to love with his whole being, someone to chase the nightmares away. He almost was brave enough to say it before Robin interrupted him.

"Steve! Where are the party poppers? It's gonna be midnight soon!"

For a moment Steve hesitated before climbing off Eddie and heading into the kitchen to help her. Shortly after the radio started calling that it was five minutes til midnight.

"Eddie can I have your lighter for the sparklers and could you go grab those two from the kitchen, don't know what's taking them so long."

"Sure, Nance, here," Eddie replied handing her the lighter before heading inside.

Eddie wished someone else had come to grab them, or that he'd been a bit louder as he came inside, maybe then he wouldn't have heard them.

"What Robs, you think a guy like me and a guy like Eddie would ever work, we're too different?" Eddie thought Steve liked that Eddie was different, that he wasn't like those assholes Steve used to hang around with.

"Steve if you jus-"

"No Robin, it's not happening it'll never happen ok." Eddie felt his heart break in two, he knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up, he knew he shouldn't have let himself fall in love.

Eddie heard Robin sigh, "Ok Steve, we'll talk about this later let's just go outside for the countdown." It was then Eddie made himself known.

"Hey guys, Nance wants us all outside."

"Yeah, yeah we're coming Eddie." Eddie couldn't remember the last time Steve had used his full name, it felt like the end of whatever this year had been building.

The three of them joined the others outside and counted down the last seconds of what was almost the perfect year for Eddie Munson. They gazed at the fireworks and Eddie tried not to think about how beautiful Steve looked under their colours. There was no need to be brave, no kiss at midnight.

Eddie had a new resolution, getting over Steve.

Guess 1985 wasn't his year after all.

Tags: @zerokrox-blog @smallfrogpleasedtomeetyou @eboyawstenn @sharingisntkaren @goodolefashionedloverboi @the-redthread @steddie-there @questionablequeeries @liorereshkigal @mightbeasleep @carlyv @my2amgaythoughts @gregre369 @space-invading-pigeon @bisexualdisastersworld @epiclazershark @sherrylyn628 @raisedbylibrarians @swaghettoni @lololol-1234

#would it really be a B story if there wasn't a bit of angst? #only the finale to go!!!! #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #new years eve #threw in the spicy six for funsies tho #angst #whoops #the end will be cute tho!!!!! #ficlet

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Ch. 4 A Patient Man

5 months later

After that fateful day, it had been nothing but good times. The honeymoon period was in full swing, and Y/N and Sebastian took advantage of any time they had together. Sebastian unfortunately had to be on set for his next job for about 2 months after that week at Y/N’s house for the surprise visit, so they hadn’t been able to do much together in person, but they called each other every day and were constantly texting throughout each day. When the film wrapped Sebastian had gone straight back to Colorado to be with her and the kids for the holidays. Y/N had been taking a break after working consistently for about 3 years, and was looking into auditioning again after the new year. So as they spent time together during the holidays, they’d practice monologues and work on scripts their managers sent to them. They tried to have date nights in and out of the house. The ones outside the house always turned into big spectacles as people and paparazzi would follow them around, the constant clicking and flashing interrupting what would have been romantic evenings. Sebastian knew it bothered her, but she was putting on a brave face to make him happy and spend time with him. He tried to be more creative and find new or secluded places that people wouldn’t expect, but without fail there was almost always someone there that would recognize them and a crowd would quickly form. Overall it was nothing new, and they were able to handle it fine, until one day when they were all together on a family outing.

On New Year's Eve they all went to a holiday-themed farmer’s market nearby to look around and get some treats. As they walked some people recognized them and tried to approach, but they had had the forethought to bring a security guard with them for today, who kindly shooed people away and asked for privacy. Overall it had been a nice day, getting hot chocolate, finding some new ornaments and decor, listening to caroling, and taking pictures.

As they weaved from one booth to the next, someone yelled out, “Hey Y/N, do your kids call Sebastian daddy?!” Y/N stiffened at the comment, slowly turning her head towards the voice. A man across the way was laughing as she looked at him, turning to his friends and nudging them like it was a joke. His friends looked uncomfortable and tried pulling him along, calling out apologies. He had apparently had too much of the hard cider because he pushed them away and walked closer. “How’s that Winter Soldier dick, huh?”

Sebastian quickly got in front of Y/N, who was pulling her kids behind her and trying to distract them, and gave the man a murderous glare. The security guard quickly walked up to the man and tried to guide him away, muttering something about it not being appropriate. The man was not coherent enough to care and spun around the guard, walking fast up to Sebastian. “Oh there it is, the death stare! Whatcha gonna do, famous man? Wouldn’t want to mess up your pretty face!” Y/N tried pulling Sebastian back by his coat, but he was immovable. The security guard was scrambling to grab the man before he got too close, but it was too late. He was right up in Sebastian’s face now. “Gonna hit me, pretty boy? You think you’re big and bad? Got some widow pussy…was it good?” *crack*

The man dropped suddenly at Sebastian’s feet, clutching his face, yelping in pain. Sebastian didn’t even realize what had happened until he felt the pain in his fist, looking down and realizing he’d punched the man now writhing on the ground. He absentmindedly shook his hand out, trying to relieve the pulsing in his knuckles. The security guard checked on the man, apologizing to Sebastian about not being able to stop him fast enough, and suggested they leave. Sebastian looked back at Y/N, seeing her shielding her kids with a look of shock, Lulu and Ollie staring at the man on the ground with wide eyes. He walked over slowly, trying to gauge Y/N’s reaction.

“You guys okay?” he asked softly, reaching out towards the kids. Y/N’s hands twitched, seeming to want to pull them away from him, then stopped herself, but it was enough for Sebastian to notice and look up at her questioningly. She looked away from him, focusing on the kids.

“We’re fine,” Lulu said, “you got him good Sebby!”

Sebastian ignored her last comment and looked to Ollie, “You good, little man?”

Ollie, ever the strong, silent type, just nodded his head, and held out a hand to Sebastian. He took his little hand and gave it a squeeze. “Okay, let’s get out of here, yeah?” They both nodded and he stood up, looking to Y/N again. She was still focusing on the kids, straightening out their coats and hats getting ready to leave. “Y/N?” he asked softly, trying to get her attention. Y/N gave him a glance and imperceptibly shook her head. Sebastian felt like that little gesture had punched him in the face, but he kept his face clear of emotion and guided the kids away towards the exit. The security guard stayed behind to handle the situation as they walked quickly to the car park. People were lining the walkway with their phones in hand, videoing their exit and whispering about what had just happened.

The ride home was loud, the kids recounting what happened, asking questions about what the man had said and praising Sebastian for his heroic protection, and yet so deafeningly silent between Y/N and Sebastian. He tried to answer some of the kids’ questions, but some of them Y/N would interject, “We’ll talk about it later,” with a finality that left no room for argument.

After they got home the kids ran off with their goodies they got from the village, leaving Y/N and Sebastian alone in the front entryway of the house. Y/N waited til they were out of earshot, and when she heard them close the door of their playroom, she crumpled to the floor on her knees, her face in her hands, her body wracked with sobs. Sebastian fell with her, gathering her in his arms and holding her as she cried, sitting on the floor, whispering reassuring words in her ear.

“I’m so sorry, love, I don’t even know what happened…”

“You deserve better than that, I’m so sorry…”

“Please don’t be angry with me. Are you okay?”

Y/N continued to cry, letting him cradle her, trying to muffle her cries so as not to alert the kids. They sat there for a few minutes, listening to the kids giggling upstairs and moving around, until Y/N’s cries began to die down, and she slumped against him as she regained her breath to calm down. Sebastian kissed the top of her head, lifting her head to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, wet eyelashes clumped together, her nose tinged red and her lips still quivering. Sebastian felt a few tears of his own as he looked at her. He felt…he wasn’t sure how he felt. He wasn’t sorry for hitting the man, he was just surprised he’d done it at all. Now he was afraid of what she thought of him reacting that way. Would she let him stay? Push him away?

Y/N wiped away his tears, a small chuckle coming from her wet lips. “Why are you crying?”

Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m just scared of what you’re going to say.”

She looked confused, wiping away some of her own tears now. “Why?”

“Because you didn’t talk to me at the village, or in the car, you just shook your head when I asked you if you were okay, I thought you were mad at me.”

“Oh, honey,” Y/N sighed, wiping her nose and straightening up. She pulled herself and him off the floor. They shrugged off their coats and boots, then she took his hand and walked him to the bathroom down the hallway. She perched him against the sink as she got out a first aid kit. She grabbed his bruised hand and inspected it, then washed it under warm water. Sebastian watched her carefully as she tended to him, applying antiseptic and then wrapping his knuckles in gauze and bandages. As she worked she sighed again.

“I’m not mad at you,” she said quietly. Sebastian nodded, waiting for her to finish. “I was…ugh, just angry and embarrassed by the situation. What an asshole,” she grunted as she finished up and started putting everything away. “And all those people watching, just letting it happen, videoing it like it’s great entertainment. My kids are not entertainment!” she roughly shut the cupboard door. Sebastian grabbed her arms as she stood back up, pulling her in front of him. He slid his hands up to her neck, cupping her jaw and keeping her face turned towards him. He studied her eyes, making sure she was okay. She let him hold her, her hands reaching up to grip his wrists. “I just didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of a reaction from me,” she paused, turning her head to kiss the palm of his hand. “Thank you for protecting us,” she whispered then, “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself or get in trouble for us.”

Sebastian snorted at that, rolling his eyes playfully. “He deserved it,” he waved off gruffly. But then he got serious again, stroking her jaw with his fingers then releasing her face, steadying himself against the sink. “I didn’t…I didn’t even realize I’d hit him,” he muttered, looking at his feet. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug, which he gladly accepted. They sat there holding each other for a few minutes, breathing each other in. Y/N shifted and began kissing his cheek, then trailing to his jaw, his ear, then his neck. Sebastian moaned deeply, hugging her hard against him and twisting his face to meet hers and kiss her lips firmly. She melted into the kiss, her arms tightening around his neck and shoulders. They still hadn’t done anything more than kissing, deep make-out sessions that at times lead to sensual touching, but anything more had been stopped by Y/N. Sebastian was learning how much patience he could actually exercise, and although he was dying for more, he’d wait for her.

They let themselves get lost in it, until a buzz came from Y/N’s pocket. They broke apart and rested their foreheads together as she fished her phone out of her pants, taking a glance at who it was.

“It’s Mandy, I should answer,” she said simply. Mandy was the fixer, and if she was calling that meant that something had gone viral that needed to be addressed.

Sebastian sighed and nodded.

“A video has gone viral of actor Sebastian Stan punching a man while defending his girlfriend and fellow co-star, Y/N Y/L/N, as well as her children. The man was allegedly drunk and yelling insults towards Y/L/N and trying to ask her children questions, and when he got too close to Stan, the actor hit him. No charges have been filed, but Y/L/N has filed a restraining order against the man. Y/L/N’s representative made a statement asking for people to respect her and her family’s privacy and space, especially in public, and reminding people it takes very little to be kind. Stan’s representative made a statement saying, “I will defend myself and those I care about, and in this case, it was necessary.”

“Sebastian Stan is that dude, okay?! He said, “I’ma take care of me and mine” and handled business like a boss! Did you see that video? There’s a reason he’s the Winter Soldier, baby!”

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #marvel #bucky barnes

[therulerofallpotatos]

Fic Tag Game

Tagged by: @wincestation, @realisticintentions, @realmermaid333, @cosmic-lullaby, @suchaladyy, @beri-allen

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

149

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

361,707 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Wednesday currently. Teen Wolf for six years. Harry Potter, Hannibal, Thorki, Starker, Twilight (Bella/Carlisle and Bella/Aro), The Umbrella Academy (not that i got very far before getting obsessed with wyler), and Madrigalcest (Primarily Brumira)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Overall?

Fuck It (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,396)

When it Needs Fixing (Steter, Teen Wolf, 3,339)

Hostile Takeover (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,781)

Absolution (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,691)

Wandering in the Dark (Steter, Teen Wolf, 2,250)

In Wednesday?

Her Monster (Wyler, 708)

Hold Me Close (Wyler, 593)

Revelations (Wyler, 499)

Warning, She Bites (Wyler, 464)

Impressing Wednesday Addams (Wyler, 387)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes. I reply when I have something meaningful to add. Otherwise it'd get very repetitive and generic and that kind of soulless connection isn't really the point of this kind of thing. I adore my comments nonetheless and I read them a lot.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hold on. I gotta skim my list.

update: i do not remember some of these fics or what happened in them

Maybe Modi the Brave (MCU, Thorki). This was an angsty fanfic of a fanfic. There was a happy ending in the original fic, The Rescue by madwriter223

I'm not counting Absolution because it was immediately followed by a sequel. But technically, it did get me the most angry sobbing comments which i treasure to this day.

The Final Straw was angsty but it was also dumb and half-cocked and the closest thing to an embarrassment on this account. It was literally just a half-thought half-scene of my 18yo self's emotional state in 2018 that is very evident that I wrote this angrily in study hall. I wrote a lot of fic in that high school during classes. Like a lot. It was my school computer. I got plenty of use out of it. There was no structure or coherent plot. I didn't even hint at anything deeper to be explored in your own minds. I didn't want to look at it long enough or think about it long enough. I just wanted it out of my head. If I didn't have a strict no deleting my works policy, or hiding from my past art policy, I would probably have deleted it within the week of posting. I do not understand how it has the kudos, subscriptions, and bookmarks that it has. I guess it resonated. Good for y'all. I mean it.

Literally just the entirety of Tyler's Bad Year is meant to be about a very traumatic time in a young man's life and him surviving it. I'm not going to go through them and try to pick out "the worst" one. That's not really the point and it'd be largely subjective.

I'll Eat You Raw has an angsty ending but angstiest? I'm not sure.

I don't write a lot of bad endings. Open endings? sure. Complicated endings? Absolutely. But unhappy endings? No. I don't often have the desire.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Jesus fuck we want to be here all day? Ok lemme look through shit again.

Wandering in the Dark has a whole story behind it. There was actually two versions. Only one was posted to ao3 and is the "canon" version. I wrote this fic for a high school assignment my senior year. We were assigned to pick a chronic disease out of a literal hat, then write a story around it. We had complete creative control so I took that chance to write teen wolf steter fanfic in class and actually have it be on task for once (I got an A in that class btw). The reason my teacher got a dark ending version is because by the time he got back to me on the maximum word count, I'd already finished the canon version and it was way too long. I couldn't trim the fat, so I wrote a different ending to shorten the story. That version is one of the angstier stories I've written. The one posted and linked above, is the very happy by comparison. This fic is also designed to be read by someone who doesn't know shit about teen wolf.

Through Thick and Thin was also extremely happy. As is Her Monster. Benevolent Gods was meant to be very hopeful. The Hale Pack (Undying) was the end to a series that was my baby for a long time . Like long enough you can see my writing evolve as you go. Part one was one of the first things i ever wrote. Like ever. The last part was years later. Jasper was meant to be a very light-hearted, happy story as well. It's extremely sweet and fluffy. You was also very happy and the epilogue cemented that happiness. Warning: She Bites literally had a happy end that unknowingly prevented a main character committing suicide in the near future. Saving lives by being horny. Wednesday Evening, and every installment in that series, is excessively happy as well.

Alright I ran through my list of fics. These were the ones that stood out. There's too many to really commit to one answer tbh. Especially because the way they're happy varies.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. Or. Well. I'm sure I do. I block antis on sight and I wholly reject purity culture, and I haven't really been the target of a major attack or anything. I don't get as many hateful comments as one might think, and I don't entertain the ones I do get. I've been accused of vile shit of course because of a fic I wrote. I don't remember what fic or even what ship it was for because I don't dwell on them really at all. Aside from that, I get more entitled but probably ignorant to how they come off as entitled comments that aren't really that big a deal. Just a bit of a peeve sometimes. I honestly think the majority of them truly believe it's a kind gesture when they say it.

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Yeah. You could say that.

What kind? In a word? Intense. I could make a joke or a long elaboration on my niche in hyde sex and whatnot, but at the end of the day, intense. Even my most laid back, domestic, slice of life fics have a sense of intensity to them because otherwise I get bored and it feels soulless and it's just not my writing style.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

When I feel like it. When I have an idea.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a steter fic on a russian fic website that was translated years ago. I have no idea which it was or if it's still there. Wait! I might remember. Yeah no. I don't remember. It wasn't the one I thought of.

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No. I've started to outline one before but it went nowhere and we both forgot about it.

13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Harry Potter and the Night that Changed Everything.

I had a whole novel basically planned for it. Writing Bellatrix and a Harry who was raised by Bellatrix took a lot out of me emotionally, and I lost steam.

Also, a Bella Swan/Marcus Vulturi fic that i also had a novel length plot planned out, wrote three chapters for, and then lost steam when I left the fandom due to getting the life sucked out of me by a bunch of toxic people in the fandom killing my joy. Those chapters are just collecting dust in my files right now. I'd like to go back to it one day and finish it in some form or another. Maybe it's original enough I could actually just write an original novel out of the scraps I already have. Actually, to be honest, it is probably original enough that I could write it as an original story. There is not a lot of Twilight there that is necessary to the story and can easily be written out. Something to think about maybe. Ironically not the first prompt I thought up initially for Twilight that I then realized nothing about Twilight was necessary for the idea I had, and I just wrote it without Bella entirely. This is how my original zombie novel started and then immediately evolved into an entirely different thing that has nothing to do w Twilight. Like literally nothing. I had to work to put the Twilight into that one. Not the other way around.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

wyler (steter and tomarry honorary).

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

pacing. movement heavy scenes. Longer projects if only because I have less practice at them.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Yeah. If it fits, I'll write it. I won't pretend to be fluent, but I'll do my best. Probably won't do anything too complicated for the sake of realism of my abilities. Especially if it's not Spanish which I at least have spent time trying to learn.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Wolf

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Listen...

We've established how well I am at picking one end all number one.

Fuck ok. back to the list.

Water of the Womb was one I was planning to write for almost a year and it turned out pretty good I think. Actually no.

No. It's not a fic that's been posted yet.

I think the favorite fic I've ever written is I Bit Him So He's Mine. it's my "Wednesday is a Hyde season one rewrite au". It's my first novel that is more than just a future novel. It's hit 40k and I have to start Act 2 still. It's my first proper murder mystery where the mystery is the primary plot equal to the romance. I've had a lot of fun with it, I've put my heart and soul into it, and I really look forward to calling it ready to post. Once it's done, you guys are getting regular updates for a long time.

20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Out of the Fire haunts me. It was a lesson to learn. I had the desire to write a steter/hannigram crossover and zero plan of any kind outside that. It crashed and burned because I only had a first chapter in me. I recently met a local and successful author who recognized my ao3 username because of this fic and remembered me years later enough to compliment my writing (I cannot express how much that meant to me). Wait no that might have been Mark of an Angel which also haunts me, but I didn't have zero plan. I had almost no plan, and lost steam when I hit a creative block at a bad time. Normally, I'd have just sat down and workshopped a starter outline and wrote myself out of that block, but I lost steam so I never did. Different deal. Not as impactful in my creative journey. Out of the Fire, however, was very important to me because of why it failed, and remains very influential with every new project I start. Actually rewriting/finishing that project would be a defining moment for me as a writer, I think. At least to me personally.

Tagging: @duplicitywrites, @dispatchvampire, @dark-visitors, @fiktorsempra, @graciebirdie, @gardenoblues, @grim-reaper-barbie13, @gabelish, @killingdoll, @lavender-lotion, @lovepoison9, @wednesdayandherhyde, @udunie, @itshype, @insomniac1994, @onlyangelxo, @obsidianpen, @ourdramaqueen, @persephoneed, @pororoh, @badmoodbatflowers, @brascu

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #wyler #my writing #tomarry #wednesday fanfic #teen wolf #steter #hannigram #thorki #harrymort #not all of my teen wolf fics were steter but most were #i am also v proud of my stallison fic #sometimes i just write one fic for a ship i had an idea about but only really had the one passion project for #this also included jasper/bella #and was going to include marcus/bella #i had a Caius/Bella idea as well that I never had the chance to start

[probablyhuntersmom]

A Look at Hunter’s Complex PTSD (Part 2)

I forgot to add in the first post last weekend that I am taking excerpts from Parts 2, 4 and 5 of the book ("What My Bones Know" by Stephanie Foo), in case anyone plans to get a copy of it.

I didn’t use anything from Parts 1 and 3, since 1 involves the author recounting her own childhood trauma while 3 is about the cultural and historical events that are tied to the generational trauma in her family and community, which she researched to find answers.

Also..with two of the Owl House specials remaining, which would definitely give us more major Hunter moments…any additions from those two episodes that relate to the book excerpts will be added as new posts, e.g. if any scenes from For The Future are relevant to this Part 2 post, I will be making a post titled A Look at Hunter’s Complex PTSD (Part 2B).

Anyhow if all this sounds confusing now, there will ultimately be one grand masterpost listing every single part. As usual, take care with the warnings of mentions of abuse and trauma ahead. Here goes, for Part 2:

Hunter’s history differs only slightly from the above. He also played a caretaker role to Belos during the latter’s rage episodes:

which shows the failure on Belos’s part, especially since he’s in the guardian/caretaker role, to own, regulate or seek his own help for his difficult emotions, but it imbued Hunter with that sense of feeling “special”. The Golden Guard role was his, and his alone. Belos could then reinforce the whole “wild magic is bad” narrative, exploit how Hunter loved to feel special and wanted, and continue abusing the boy.

But as Hunter tried harder and harder to get Belos to love him the way he wanted, he too experienced a growing vigilance and desperation that was destroying him more and more, as he was worn down further over time.

I’d say it was like this for Hunter too. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t please Belos enough. It wasn't fixing things and it felt as if he was a ship slowly sinking. As his desperation grew, you could say he ventured out further beyond established boundaries, and Hollow Mind was the culmination of the courage and support he spent the previous episodes building up.

He, just like how it’s stated in the book page above, ended up woven more into the world, sewn emotionally and professionally into a network of lives. He made trusted friends and healthier company at last. Ultimately, all those actions he took nudged him along the path meant for him, and it even ended up with him being brave enough to say this in Hollow Mind:

To ask the ultimate question, "What did you do to the other guards?". The question that got Belos to decide “Okay, time to off this Grimwalker and then make another”.

Following that heart-stopping moment, Luz saving his life, both of them escaping, and then the panic attack scene that we all remember, Hunter’s story isn’t over yet. 

With where he is now, in the middle of S3, he might be mentally and emotionally operating in a way that I can deconstruct while we wait for the next episode.

I am inclined to agree with these.

It’s just…so likely for Hunter. It was the case for me, since the first 5 years out of my 7 years of seeing therapists (2014-2020) were either just talk therapy or with ineffective therapists that I didn't trust enough. It felt more like just maintaining healthy enough functioning in my daily life, rather than having what felt like proper breakthroughs.

What Hunter needs first and foremost is to just continue experiencing the precious trust and presence of the good people he has formed good relationships with. Everyone is now in survival mode and would need the same manner of support.

Frankly, almost everyone in the show needs that too. The Isles will be going through some form of collective grief, if not already.

Processing all that has happened to him, in his young mind, will be hell of a lot of work. He can’t nicely fit all of that horror into a framework of cold logic, and I doubt the mess can be solved just by “talking things out”. After all, he has Complex PTSD: and being entangled in damaged formative relationships (Belos and the Emperor's Coven, basically) - not necessarily involving just people, or his relationship with himself, but also himself with the world - is the centerpiece of Complex PTSD.

Cold logic can't exactly help you make sense of why you lacked warmth in your formative relationships (the more technical term is "primary relationships" where your primary caregiver(s), a parent/guardian, is supposed to supply you with security and warmth in their relationship(s) with you).

The clearest analogy I can think of for how he’d need some time before talk therapy could ever benefit him, is when a computer does that thing where it shuts down outside of your control, in order to prevent further damage. When you switch it back on by pressing the power button, it usually acts as if nothing happened before that. This numbing and calmness has been essential in the short-term for Hunter to function, one example being from Hollow Mind:

because his emotions being almost completely shut down here were crucial for survival: for his legs to carry him, with Luz’s help, to escape Belos’s mind. If he didn’t have such a shutdown, he may have frozen in place due to being too overwhelmed, making it harder for Luz to shake him into being lucid to follow her, and Belos would’ve been able to apprehend and capture him all over again in the mindscape.

Survive first, fear later.

There is the possibility that with Flapjack’s death in particular, he might swing towards more dissociation than ever before. The reason why dissociation happens in the first place is because the brain, like the computer, would be overwhelmed if it stayed online any further. It’s a protective built-in mechanism to numb intense psychological pain. That computer can still work overall for some time, but boy oh boy..it would need some repair shop work at some point to even perform basic functions.

If his best friend’s death, by his hands, shocked us in the audience as much as it did, it goes without saying: he himself is carrying a massive amount of shock. The thing is..for the time being his attention is diverted to fighting back and going after Belos, making sure everyone else is safe. But we shall see how his mental state will be after the fighting is over.

This pattern of shutting down/short-circuiting and then coming back online without proper deep healing, would be detrimental long-term if it keeps happening and if it continues past the point where things start to be truly safe for him. It can sadly go on for years if e.g. a child is trapped until they move out as an adult, which would mean the road to healing is having to thaw out of several years’ worth of survival mode and hypervigilance.

To remain isolated would be the biggest obstacle in any stage of his recovery. Thankfully he is now the furthest thing from isolated, where the story left off. Check out how different the screenshots are below omg…the effects of Belos isolating him versus where he is now:

A consistent theme has been an ongoing tension between his fears and what he chooses to do anyway. It ain't just great storytelling, it also feels damn real because I'm willing to bet many of us experience the same tension in our day-to-day living.

E.g. in Labyrinth Runners, the panic attack he had:

is what made the later moment so much more powerful, when he decides to run towards fear to help Gus:

Over time, he has repeatedly made decisions where he prioritizes care for others, the desire for connection and wanting to do what is truly right, over the fear of being hurt and rejected. My personal fave example of how he worries for others’ safety is this seemingly smaller moment, but it’s honestly heartbreaking and reveals hell of a lot about who he is:

He is so terrified that Belos is back, quivering and exasperated, yet he doesn’t want Luz to call anyone else to help them: and in no way does he do this to show off or anything, he wants to protect his loved ones. But this tenacity that exists alongside his gentle spirit is what got him to rebel more and more throughout Season 2, leading him into greater danger and well..unfortunately all of that plot was also building up to what Belos did to him in Thanks to Them.

…yeah. Talk therapy is not what I think this kid needs right now, not till there is restored peace all around him. Because talk therapy requires quite a bit of usage of the brain’s prefrontal cortex - the part responsible for reasoning and logic - and it is activated when we are in conscious control of our thinking. And facts such as “My ‘uncle’ chose to lie to me my whole life” can’t be understood and analyzed in the same way as a math problem can be deciphered :’) How does one make sense of something like that?

Poor Hunter can only accept the reality that Belos chose to do all that, and a key part of this acceptance is to affirm his own strengths and believe he can accept such hard truths. To achieve such acceptance, treating his condition would most likely require subconscious work that is experiential in nature (involving deeper parts of the mind than just the prefrontal cortex) as opposed to just analyzing and taking things apart. Because I don't think simply talking about this:

on top of a childhood of being manipulated, will get this poor kid to where he'd like to be.

My former supervisor calls experiential subconscious work “heart work”, not “head work”...i.e. experiencing one’s feelings and relationships in a safe space. All of Hunter’s military training and duties are most definitely “head work”, all about strategy and withholding trust, which means “heart work” - building trust and finding authenticity in his relationships - has been a new journey for him. His network of relationships and perceptions need a major, positive reframing. And there are so many emotional wounds, oh Titan, so many from Belos.

Hunter is likely to benefit from experiential subconscious work such as the increasingly popular Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) modality for therapy, because EMDR can be an effective treatment if a client experiences discomfort in the form of physical bodily sensations whenever their trauma is triggered, though it is not necessarily for everyone who suffers from trauma. A Boiling Isles version of EMDR might involve Illusion magic...if a therapist from that Coven can draw out mental images of clients to project into the therapy room, that would be a cool simulation and cool parallel of how therapy works in our world.

EMDR was the biggest, most revelatory thing for me in my own recovery but a coursemate of mine found it to be too much and too direct: instead, she benefited from the Emotion Freedom Technique (EFT) approach which was more physical in nature and relied on tapping acupressure points on the body. Idk, maybe I matched better with EMDR because I have an innate curiosity about things, even if it has gotten me in trouble many times in life (this sounds like Hunter as well) :S Whereas EFT was the better fit for my coursemate because she wanted a sense of attachment and connection with herself via the specific sense of touch.

Disclaimer: I am not yet certified in EMDR, god it will be years before I can afford the training fees but I have been on the receiving end of it as a client in many sessions. So I am no trained expert in it at all.

We see Hunter experiencing physical distress related to his trauma, which is why the EMDR technique, that aims to reduce trauma-related distress experienced in the physical body, could be the right match for him. Since he loves the Ruler’s Reach and Cosmic Frontier, he might like how EMDR is like letting your subconscious re-tell your story as a heroic triumphant story, and the treatment feels like rewriting your painful memories while still acknowledging how they actually happened. Because the treatment helped me learn that it is possible to hold both of those in your mind.

To sum up EMDR the best I can, the client replays their difficult memories in their subconscious imagination. It relies on a phenomenon called bilateral stimulation (BLS) which is related to how making left-and-right motions (e.g. going for walks, or swimming) while holding upsetting thoughts in our heads, helps to reduce the intensity of such thoughts.

The general process involves:

Helping the client prepare an imagined safe place to go to (Hunter might choose his fave location from Cosmic Frontier, since clients can choose fictional places if they like) and if needed, a safe person (he might choose Camila) to come rescue them in their mind, in case revisiting the bad memories becomes too distressing. The therapist gets the client to experience the safe place and person, then describe to the therapist what they see, hear, touch etc with as much detail as possible. There will be several practice rounds in those safe spaces, before the client is supposed to do the same imagination thing with their scary traumatic memories in later sessions: once they are experienced with visiting their safe places.

Desensitizing the pain and distress of traumatic memories, working through only one memory at a time, where the therapist gets the client to hold the painful memory in mind while also performing left-and-right physical movements e.g. client moves their eyes left and right, following the therapist's hand motions. The therapist regularly checks in with how the client feels and also measures 1. the intensity of the client’s distress (using the Subjective Units of Disturbance or SUD scale, on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest distress level imaginable to the client) and 2. The strength of the client’s positive belief about themselves (using the VOC or Validity of Cognition scale, on a scale of 1 to 7, with 7 being complete trust in the positive belief). The aim is to reduce the SUD score to 0 or 1, and increase the VoC score to 7, per memory that the client decides to process with the therapist. This would definitely take at least 3 sessions per memory, based on my experience.

The desensitizing step takes multiple sessions (estimated to be 8-12 sessions for simpler traumas, and many more sessions for complex traumas) helps to make room for new positive beliefs about oneself e.g. “I am worthy of love” to take up more space in the client’s mind, while the emotional space taken up by negative beliefs like “I am unlovable” gets smaller and smaller.

In my experience as an EMDR client, you are just supposed to let your subconscious flow and alter each memory during the desensitizing, because it isn’t about how realistic the memory was, it’s about what meanings you’d like to put into the storyline of the memory e.g. going from “I deserved that abuse” to “You know what, I’m gonna try protect myself”. This means Hunter could incorporate his fave fictional scenes and elements into his own story. I found that my brain went from accurately replaying my traumatic memories, to adding in new things or replacing original parts of each memory. And best of all, I wasn’t actively choosing all these changes - I just let my subconscious run on its own, since it is outside my conscious control anyway. E.g. in a memory where my own abusive mother was yelling at me during a car ride, I saw a tall red tree (red is my fave colour and I feel strength whenever I see it) rapidly growing out of the road directly in front of us. It could cause my mother to lose control of the steering and brake hard, and I could quickly unlock the front passenger door to exit the car and run to my own safety. The most real thing about this was that I now got a taste of how it would feel to use strong boundaries with my mother in real life, and the coolest thing was seeing how my own brain went off on its own to write an encouraging story, which is what mattered and allowed my positive beliefs about myself to start taking root. It all started in my imagination, guided by the therapist.

The best way of putting it is..I realized that when the original traumatic events happened in my life, the bad events happened which then installed negative beliefs about myself (and the world) into my brain's programming, breaking my trust in almost everything except my escape spaces like gaming and art. With EMDR, after feeling the safety of trusting my therapist and my safe place, I had to let my brain create the positive version of the above: letting improved versions of those traumatic events be written by my subconscious: which helped to usher in the positive opposites of those negative beliefs.

It would be too lengthy to go into more detail here about how EMDR could help our boi, so I will instead cover that in my future case formulation post that is separate from this series. But EMDR is not the only way to reach a point of having positive beliefs about oneself. Some people may be able to reach that stage without therapy, using resources like a strong support network and doing meaningful work and activities, which is completely valid and fine as well.

EMDR was the tool that helped the book author reach her first ever breakthrough in her mental health journey. It helped her realize that stuff from so long ago, which she thought she had gotten over, needed to be revisited in order for her to start feeling love for her inner child and younger self. Feeling love for yourself and understanding self-love is very hard work, and it’s not the same as shrugging “Yeah, I guess it’s good to love yourself” and knowing it in theory as an observer.

That section of the book is sort of like how Hunter becomes more and more able to draw strength and other positive qualities e.g. courage, trust, etc, from himself, on his own. The rest of the Hexsquad and Camila came in to help and save Hunter first, which gently reinforced a healthy narrative over time that he is in fact deserving of love, getting him to believe along the lines of “You know what, I don’t want to try being useful to Belos anymore, because what he did to me and what he does as the Emperor is wrong”. This understand was further reinforced when he was the one to extend help to Gus towards the end of Labyrinth Runners.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway from this post is how Hunter’s friends helped to positively reshape the way he saw himself, when they modeled how healthy relationships should be for him. Many posts have already made in the fandom about how this was the case in every episode that Hunter was featured in (from Hunting Palismen onwards), so I’ll only show the recent examples from Thanks to Them below:

I like how during all of his screentime, it wasn’t obvious to us whether he had good beliefs about himself, right up until we see him at his happiest, in his cosplay outfit and secondly when he expresses his desires out loud to Belos while being possessed.

Learning healthy behaviours from positive influences outside of himself (sometimes, in therapy speak we call this “introducing a foreign element” outside of the client’s own familiar world, to introduce real change), because he had no reference points to draw upon from his own knowledge, is what got him to begin understanding and believing he deserves better. Such recovery work can’t happen within a vacuum, since no man is an island. Some form of connection is needed as a catalyst.

And ajhdhkjkljdfd I am so so proud of him that he could already practice these modeled behaviours himself at least a couple of times, supported by Flapjack's love, after being equipped with the love he needed:

Now, without Flapjack, I am on the edge of my seat wondering how he sees himself, and while he will never be the same again..I wonder how he will find his way back to liking who he is. I hope to see a more in-depth, layered and raw version of these where he has to face himself...and Flapjack is not going to be there this time..:

Especially since his “I like who I am right now” has been so greatly challenged by Flapjack dying by his own hands.

The author's breakthrough after meeting her younger self in her imagination, during her own EMDR sessions, was that she now understood in her heart, not just knowing in her rational head, that her parents did not provide her with healthy love. With that, it became clear what it was that she needed.

This is crazy important. Gradually, Hunter made his way from merely knowing (suspecting that the 'love' provided for him by Belos was not right) to fully understanding (feeling what love is supposed to be, through his friends and Camila). This concept references what I said very early on in this post about “heart work” vs “head work”. Head knowledge is the knowing part that looks for facts and can be reached quickly, but heart knowledge - trusting, believing, seeing the meaningful significance of something - can be tough to find without the aid of a support network, therapists and any form of meaningful inspiration.

The following life-changing truths that the author found in the challenging parts of her EMDR therapy sessions, are truths that were also revealed to Hunter in his character arc through difficult experiences:

I'm sure there will be amazing upcoming dialogue where his support network and found family help to further reaffirm the positive beliefs that he has began to trust about himself.

And that’s that for Part 2!

I wonder if any of the above was helpful, and feel free to comment and discuss in the notes.

Importantly, to put up a word of caution here: please do not try any EMDR on yourself under any circumstances, of course xD

Which stuff did you guys find the most interesting from this part? If anything above is pretty complex for you, feel free to DM me or comment to ask further questions~~

Part 3 will be posted next weekend.

#toh analysis #toh hunter #the owl house #toh flapjack #toh belos #emperor belos #hunter's abuse #hunter's trauma #hunter's cptsd #loz writes a meta

[cringiestcroissant]

Scuse me im gonna gush about of one of my cats real quick

This is Vega, named after the brightest star in the Lyre constellation.

I got her from a shelter in march 2021, estimated to be about 3 years old. When I went to the shelter I literally said 'Show me your most unadoptable cat". They then brought her out (named Snapple) and she was so terrified. She stayed by the wall when put on the table and was trembling. I pet her cheek a bit, and after a while she calmed down and started purring. Im like "Alright I'll take her".

When she came home to my apartment at the time she hid for months. I barely saw her, only interacting when she was under the bed. She took treats I left and let me pet her and purred but otherwise I never saw her (knew she was alive mostly from the foodbowl and litterbox). Until November came, she just hid in my place amd I let her be to come around when she wanted to.

When Echo came in November of 21 she was very outgoing and out there and I hoped that she would encourage Vega to do the same. Sure enough, over time, she started sitting out in the open and would just stare at me. Not coming over, not saying anything, just stalking me basically from a distance.

I gave them piles of treats and slowly left the one for Vega closer to me. Eventually she got to the point she was near enough that I could pet her. She was hesitant but came around. Soon it got to the point she got up on my bed with me, taking treats out of my hands, started playing with the toys with me. and even got the point I could kiss her on the top of her head!

When I had to move back in with my dad and stepmom and their 4 dogs, she went back to hiding and stayed only in my room. But after some time she's now coming out to the living room with the dogs, meows and chirps and purrs all the time and recently got up on the chair with me.

She has half a tail and some serious ptsd, and we still have some progress to make, but she's gotten so brave and has come out of her shell so much and Im so proud of her 💜

#cat #cats #cats of tumblr #vega

[illneverbesorry]

Don't Stand So Close To Me - Part 5

Don't Stand So Close To Me - Part 5

Warnings: Swearing, Teacher-Student Relationship

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5,

Over the following weeks your friends noticed the change in your demeanour, you smiled more, laughed easier and just generally seemed happier. Yet despite your improved mood, there had been little change in your relationship with Aesop. You both seemed to be stuck in this stalemate, neither of you seemingly brave enough to take any steps forward, but neither of you could stop the fleeting glances or secret smiles passed to one another across the classroom. 

You entered the potions classroom to find no sign of Aesop anywhere, you take your seat and pull out your book turning back just in time to hear Garreth whisper "Oh bloody hell!" You snap your head around and see the 'illustrious' Headmaster strut into the room. Natty looks at you with a frown and a shrug just as confused as you were. 

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest, had they worked it out? After all these months apart had they now decided to punish you? Had he been sacked? Were you about the be expelled? 

"Silence!" Black called across the room "Professor Sharp is.... feeling under the weather therefore I will be taking over his class today." You release the breath you hadn't realised you were holding before concerning filled your mind, Aesop never took sick days. 

"As my time is far too valuable to be stuck here all afternoon, I will be leaving you to your own devices. You are seventh years, I expect you to act as such, but just in case your potion stations have been locked." You touch the metal of your work station where the fire was normally roared to indeed find it stone cold

"Your Head boy is here so he will dismiss you at the correct time. Read, study, anything. Good day" Black marched out as quickly as he arrived. Everyone sat in shocked silence for a moment. 

You racked your brain for an explanation as to why Aesop wasn't here, he's been in class ill before, Merlin…. he’d been here hungover...."what date is it?" You asked Natty 

"It's the 16th, why?" You closed your eyes in realisation, today was the anniversary of Scarborough, the anniversary of his partner's death. "Oh, I forgot, I had some things on order in Brood and Peck. There're due in today" you smile at your friend and she seems to accept your answer.

You know that today would be hell for Aesop, he always found himself at the bottom of a bottle of booze on this day - even more so than usual. Last year he spent the evening lain on your lap with you trying to comfort him through the night, running your fingers through his hair whispering to him gently as the hours ticked by. Even though it wasn't your place anymore you still wanted to do something for him. You decided as you couldn't be there and hold him close, maybe taking him something would be more appropriate. Some food and a hangover potion would fit the bill. 

Turning to Leander you decided it was time to leave, "Ok Head boy, say the words and let's all get out of here" the redhead looked startled by your sudden command.

"But Black said..." he began stuttering before you cut him off

"Black said you would dismiss us at the right time, I think it’s the right time.... don’t you Leander?" You smirked knowing he wouldn't go against everyone in the class who had also packed up their books ready to leave. "He isn't going to catch us, the headmaster has most likely already returned to his office and Weasley has classes all day" you smile knowing you've convinced him. 

"Is it wrong that I wish my grades had been lower so I would have to go to divination next?" Natty asked walking you to a floo flame, you laughed at your friend's comments and were suddenly very glad the rest of your day was free.

"I certainly do not regret only getting Acceptable that's for sure, no NEWT Divination for me! It must run in your blood" you grimace for your friend having to take a NEWT class taught by her mother, but very happy your grade was below the cut off for the class. You hugged Natty goodbye and flooed to Hogsmeade to gather the ingredients you needed for Aesop's potion. 

You knew you'd have to wait a few hours before attempting to deliver it to him as at this point, he was probably be brooding in his chair in front of the fire and he'd see you come in. You needed to wait till a little later when you know he move into his bedroom in his depressive state. 

After gathering what you needed for your brew you made your way back to the Room of Requirement and set about getting the potion started. It wasn't a difficult potion; most likely deliberate given the fact it was normally made by witches and wizards who were a little worse for wear. 

"Hello Miss Y/N, Deek is happy to see you. Deek believes the mandrakes are almost ready to repot" you smile over at the house elf that has become a good friend 

"Thank you, Deek. I'll check on them later" you continued to stir your cauldron when your stomach made an embarrassing rumble, causing you to giggle to yourself.

"Can Deek bring you some food Miss?" Your heart melted at the thought, he was such a good friend.

"That would be wonderful Deek, would it be too much to ask for you to bring an extra sandwich? It's for a friend for later" with a smile Deek nodded and snapped his fingers and disappeared. He wasn't gone long before he reappeared with a wide selection of food and the sandwich you'd asked for. You thanked him wholeheartedly and tucked in while the potion brewed gently. Deek excused himself after a few hours to go help in the kitchens and you took the opportunity to bottle up the potion and make your way towards Aesop's room. 

Casting your disillusionment spell you snuck through the waves of prefects and the odd Professor. You slowly crept to Sharp's door and pressed your ear against the wood, you heard no sounds in the Room but that meant nothing. You bit your lip and hoped you'd timed things correctly. The last thing you wanted was another argument when you'd just gotten back in his graces again. 

"Alohomora" you whisper and the lock opens, you quietly and slowly push the door open enough to just peer your head around it. Thankfully you find the room empty, an utter mess but empty. Your heart aches at the sight of the room, bottles smashed, items thrown and even his chair had been knocked over. You stayed under your disillusionment but took your wand and cast a few spells tidying and repairing what you could. 

You placed the sandwich and vial on his now clean table and walked over to the small desk in the corner grabbing a piece of paper and a quill and jotting a note 'Try to eat something x' you balanced the note against the vial.

"Y/N" you hear his voice callout from his room, he sounded scared. You moved quickly over to his bedroom to find him asleep and in the throes of a nightmare. He was tossing and turning and calling for you. You wanted to run to him and pull him into your arms but you knew you couldn't cross that line.

Tears filled your eyes watching him in distress, he calls your name again and you can take no more "It's alright my love, I'm right here, I'm safe" you call out hoping his subconscious would hear you and change his dream. You grip the frame of the doorway with both hands to keep yourself away from him. "I'm right here" 

Aesop snaps his head up; you panic and rush away heading out of his room before he notices you’re still here. You know he'll realise you were in his room but better that than being caught red-handed. You hurry down the stairs from the faculty tower back to your common room. 

Aesop turns his head towards the doorway of his room, he could hear your voice so clearly, it was strong and clear. It was a fast contrast to the version of you in his dream, lying in his arms on the ship in Scarborough bleeding out. 

He reached for his bottle and annoyingly found it empty. He hissed in pain as he pulled his leg off the bed, standing with a sway and limping heavily towards his living room. Aesop stood slack jawed as he looked around the room, it was tidy. He specifically remembered ransacking it before falling into bed exhausted, glancing to the table he sees a plate and vial on the table. Shuffling over slowly he reaches for the parchment resting against the vial and sees your writing. His heart races, you were here, he could even still smell your perfume.

You'd brought him food and what he knew was going to be a hangover cure, after everything he’d put you through, you knew what day it was and still came and took care of him. He smiled despite his current state and dropped down on the sofa picking up the sandwich. He only wishes he'd have stayed awake so he could have seen you and made you stay. 

#aesop sharp #aesop sharp x mc #aesop sharp x reader #fem reader #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #professor aesop sharp #teacher x student #aesop sharp imagine #professor sharp x mc #professor sharp x reader #professor sharp #slow burn

[ikeromantic]

Alice in College pt 4

An IkeRev Central characters AU! Written for my IkeRev 1K Celebration, a boarding school AU was the poll winner. Approx. 3800 words. 4/6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“I am an idiot. I always give myself very good advice but do I take it? Nooooo . . .” Alice stood in the empty dining hall, wondering again why she’d decided to come. The reason was simple. Curiosity. But on balance, it wasn’t exactly a great reason, or even a good one. 

The door swung open, and Alice startled. “Da- oh.” It wasn’t Dalim standing there, but some stranger. A student she had not met. He was tall and lean, with dark brown hair and wide, grey eyes like a stormclouds. Oddly enough, he had a similarity to the kid Blanc and Loki hung out with, right down to wearing a matching top hat. 

“You.” The guy crossed his arms. “You do realize dinner was over an hour ago?”

“Umm. Yes?” She frowned. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Alice.”

“And I don’t have time to introduce myself to an idiot.” He looked around. “So. Why are you here after hours? It’s against the rules.”

Alice sighed. “I’m waiting on a friend. But if you’re going to tattle on me, I can just leave now.” 

He held up a hand. “I didn’t say I was going to tell on you. Just be careful. There are worse things than detention with Mousse.” 

“What, like Dean will turn me into a frog for a year?” She grinned. 

“Dean won’t, no. But he isn’t the one in charge.” He paused, his gaze narrowing. “People have gone missing here. Or died. People like you.”

Alice felt a flutter of fear in her belly, but didn’t want to let him know he’d scored a point. “Yeah, well, if it’s so scary, what are you doing here after hours? You could be in danger too.”

He gave a bark of laughter. “Me? No. I’ll be fine. I’ve got defenses. But you? You should stay where it’s safe. Where the lights are on and the rest of the students hang out.”

“Look, I’m not going to let you scare me. I’m not defenseless either. I know how to protect myself.” Alice tried not to think back on London and the times she ducked into a shop or ran home to get there before dark. She’d never been very brave, but she wanted to be. 

“Your head really is full of hot air, like a balloon.” He took a long breath, clearly not buying her bravado. Finally, he reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a powder compact or small mirror. “If you aren’t going to be sensible, then take this.” He handed it to her. “If someone - or something - bothers you, just point it at them and twist.”

Alice looked down at the thing uncertainly. “What does it do? I don’t want to hurt anyone . . .”

“It puts them to sleep. What did you think?” He snorted. “You really are such a dummy.” 

“And you’re mean and rude, so I think between the two of us, I’ve got it better.” Alice stuck her tongue out at him.

“Pfft, and people think I’m a kid?” He started laughing.

Alice couldn’t believe anyone would confuse him for a child, even if he slung insults like one. “Anyway, thanks for the - the thingamajig.” She pocketed it. 

“I haven’t named it yet, but I was thinking about calling it a sleep stick. Catchy, right? It’s a prototype, so be careful with it. And with yourself.” He added the last bit in a quiet voice, his expression going serious. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Alice. And don’t forget. You owe me one now.” 

“Hey! I don’t owe you anything! If it’s like that, take your - hey!” Alice called after him, but the guy was gone. And he hadn’t even told her his name. “What a weirdo.”

“The school is full of them,” said a voice just behind her. 

Alice leapt and spun, her heart hammering in her chest. She held the sleep stick out like a tiny baton. 

Dalim grinned. “Whatcha going to do with that, princess? I’m not in the mood for a nap.” His smile hinted at all kinds of things he was in the mood for. 

Alice lowered her odd little weapon and tucked it into a pocket. “You really shouldn’t sneak up on people. And you should stop calling me princess. You know my name.”

“Yeah, but you’re too beautiful for such a simple name. Calling you princess is the least I can do to respect your charms.” He said all this with a straight face, and every word of it put another degree of heat into Alice’s inflamed cheeks. 

“You can stop flirting with me too. That’s probably the same line you use on every new girl.”

Dalim chuckled. “Only the gorgeous ones.” But he did look somewhat chastened and his smile relaxed into something more natural. “Thanks for meeting me here tonight. I half expected that you wouldn’t show.”

“I shouldn’t have.” Alice frowned at him, but her heart wasn’t in it. “So . . . what are we doing? Nothing against the rules?”

He shrugged. “Not explicitly?” She didn’t say anything to that, so he went on. “I thought we could hang out. And . . . I have some contraband from town.” Dalim’s grin widened. “Amon and I were saving it for a special occasion, but spending time with you is pretty special.”

He was at it again with the cheesy pick-up lines, she thought, but it was kind of endearing. “Alright. But if I get in trouble again, I’m never forgiving you.”

“Understood.” 

Dalim led her to the boys’ wing of the school. This was where all the guys bunked in single and double dormitories. Most of the room doors were wide open, with guys shouting to each other across the hall, tossing balls back and forth or shooting each other with paper wads. A couple of people she’d met in class waved at her as they passed.

They stopped at one of the closed doors and Dalim knocked. A moment later, the door opened a crack, and Amon peered out. “There you are.” That was all he said before opening the door just wide enough to let the two of them in.

Amon wasn’t in his hoodie or scarf, just a loose black t-shirt and thin black pajama pants. He gave Alice a thin-lipped smile. “I didn’t think Dalim could talk you into coming.”

“I’m very persuasive,” Dalim laughed. He shut the door behind them as Alice stepped inside and looked around. 

She’d expected the room to be about the same size as her own and the ones she’d seen in passing, but it was quite a bit larger. There was room enough for a small, worn leather couch, a bookshelf, the two beds, and a table. 

“Corner space,” Dalim said, before she could ask. “Amon’s family pulled some strings for us.” 

“Nice.” She sat down on the couch and was surprised when Amon joined her. 

He studied her face in silence, as if waiting for her to do something interesting. 

Dalim grabbed some glasses and a bottle from a box under his bed. The bottle was smoked glass, and some liquid moved beneath the dark exterior. It was a little bigger than a wine bottle, and similarly corked. “The cups don’t match. Sorry about that, pri- Alice.” 

“I’m not fancy.” She averted her gaze from Amon, who was still watching her. “So what is it? What’s in the bottle?”

“Wine bottled from fruit gathered in the magic forest. Grown near naturally occurring magic crystals. They say it has all kinds of extra qualities.” Dalim raised an eyebrow. 

Alice peered cautiously at the bottle. Things in Cradle had a habit of being more dangerous than they appeared. “What kinds of things?”

“We’ll have to find out,” Amon answered for Dalim. “It’s our first time trying it too.”

“What he said,” Dalim agreed. He pulled the cork and began to pour. The wine, if that’s what it was, glimmered in the lamplight. It was gold in color, opaque and a little cloudy. The scent was sweet and reminded Alice of roses and honey, an aroma that grew stronger when Dalim handed her a cup.

“To new friendships,” Dalim held up his cup.

“Friendships,” echoed Amon.

Alice clinked her cup against theirs and took a sip. Whatever was in the glass, it wasn’t wine. That was her first thought. Her second was that it was amazing, and her third thought was that she wanted more. The drink tasted like summer felt. Warm and lazy, humming with life and light. It suffused her with a sense of wellbeing and nostalgia. 

“Kinda makes me feel like a kid again,” Amon said. He smiled at her again, and this time it didn’t look forced. “Just the good parts.”

Dalim nodded. “Yeah.” He gave Alice a questioning look. “Do you like it?”

“I think so. It’s really odd, but good.” She took another careful sip, wanting to hold onto this strange feeling for as long as she could. 

“What does it make you think about?” Amon’s eyes were on her, the strange topaz color shifting just like the cloudy drink in her cup, sparkling in the light. 

He was kind of cute, she thought, when he wasn’t scowling. His long, pale hair curled behind his ears, silky and fine. “Ummm. It reminds me of summer? I guess? Warmth and that feeling of just . . . not needing to be anywhere or do anything.”

“I think that’s a good description. It’s warm and sweet. Like a gentle kiss.” Dalim settled on her other side, sandwiching Alice between him and Amon. 

She laughed. “There you go again, trying to flirt.”

“I sense it isn’t working.” He sighed.

“Just lay off, Dalim. Let her relax.” Amon leaned back, giving her a little more space on his side. 

Alice was silently grateful for his comment as Dalim also leaned back. “So, what do you do for fun around here?”

“Other than flirting with lovely ladies like yourself?” Dalim chuckled. “There are plays, dances, festivals . . . I like to read. And Amon has his experiments.” He shrugged. “If you mean at school, there’s not much. A few clubs, sports.”

“What about you, Alice? What do you do when you’re at leisure?” Amon asked without looking at her. His eyes were unfocused and staring up into the rafters of the high ceiling. 

“Well . . . at home I would bake. Or write out recipes I had an idea for. I worked at a pâtissière, so I was always trying to come up with new ideas for sweets we could make.” She sighed. It seemed like ages ago, even if it was only a month. “I miss it sometimes? But I like Cradle. I chose to stay afterall.”

“Hm. Didn’t have anything to go back to?” Amon was paying attention now, his eyes as sharp and cold as gemstones.

“I - well, no. Not really.” She took a breath, wondering how much to share and whether she ought to say anything at all. “I had my job. My boss was very nice. And I had a roommate. But no one I needed to go back to.”

Dalim set a hand on her shoulder, a gentle caress. “That’s awful.” 

When she turned to face him, expecting his usual flirty smirk, she was surprised to find an expression of genuine commiseration on his face.

He seemed to realize it and let his hand drop. “It’s just, such a lovely lady deserves better than that. Don’t you think, Amon?”

“Yeah.” Amon was still focused on her, his full attention almost a pressure at her side. “You know, we could be like family. Me and you and Dalim. Friends, anyway. And that’s better than family.” He said the last bit with more passion, a flare of anger burning in the depths of his cold gaze. 

“I like to make friends. And you guys seem . . . nice? Nice enough, anyway.” Alice gave him a small smile. 

Dalim put a hand to his chest. “All that and I get ‘nice enough’? I am losing my touch.” 

“Maybe you are.” Amon threw a pillow at him. “Let’s stop talking about serious stuff and play a game.”

Alice perked up. “I love games! What will we play? Cribbage? Dominoes? I’m pretty good at checkers.”

Dalim and Amon exchanged a look that Alice didn’t catch. There was glee in Amon’s eyes and a certain wariness in his friend’s. 

“This is a special Cradle game. It’s played with magic.” Amon slid bonelessly to the floor, his back against the couch now. “We’ll teach you how to play.”

Alice helped herself down as Dalim found a spot nearby. “Ok. So what do we do? How does it work?”

“It’s really easy. I’ll use this magic crystal to make a little ball. And you will use your crystal to catch it and toss it to Dalim.” Amon handed her a small, glowing crystal. “On every pass, we’ll make the ball a little bigger until it pops. Whoever it pops on, loses.”

“Ok. I - I never did anything like that before but I can try.” Alice looked at the magic crystal in her hand. It was smaller than her pinky, and glowed with a faint blue light. 

Dalim leaned close. “Don’t worry, it’s not hard. When it’s your turn to catch, I’ll help you.” 

Amon gave a shrill laugh. His eyes turned red, like a bloody film drawn over them. The crystal in his hands dimmed for a breath and then a crackling ball of lightning appeared in the air just above it. “Impressed yet, Alice?”

“I am, actually. That is amazing.” She leaned closer and felt the hair prickle at the static surrounding the orb. “Is it safe to touch?”

“You might get a little zap if you. I don’t recommend it,” Dalim put a hand on her arm. When she leaned back, he let go. “So - to play the game, close your eyes.”

Alice did as she was instructed, though she didn’t want to. “And then?”

“Focus on the crystal in your hand. See it in your mind. Feel the pulse of magic in it, constrained by the structure. Eager to be let out.” Dalim’s voice was low and easy. 

She tried to feel for the pulse, reaching toward a power she didn’t quite understand. For a long moment, there was nothing but her own racing heartbeat. The crystal was cool in her palm, no different than any pebble she might pick up. A tension built between her eyes, and the mental image she had of the crystal wavered. When it did, she felt the first stirrings of the power within it.

“It hums,” she said softly. 

Amon laughed again. “Yeah, it is kind of a hum.”

“You’re doing great, princess. Now hold onto to that feeling, and open your eyes.” Dalim guided her to the next step with practiced ease. 

Alice slowly opened her eyes while still clinging to the tuneless hum of the magic crystal. Dalim and Amon swam into view. They were both staring at her. 

“You got it,” Dalim smiled. “I can tell because your eyes are as red as Amon’s” 

“S-so now what?”

Amon answered. “When I toss this lightning at you, you’re going to reach for it. But you’re going to use the hum you’re feeling in that crystal to reach out, not your hands.” He hunched forward, anticipation in every line of him. 

“Ready, princess?” Dalim gestured toward Amon. When he did, the pale-haired boy lifted the ball and lobbed it toward Alice. 

Her eyes went wide as she saw the roiling, crackling ball of lightning float through the air toward her. It seemed much larger than it had when it was just sitting above Amon’s hands. Her hair crackled with the static rolling off of it, and her skin prickled uncomfortably. She tried to reach with the hum of the crystal, to stretch out that vibration toward the ball, but the magic didn’t budge. 

Alice tried again as the lightning drew ever closer to her. She didn’t want to get a painful shock. Whatever she did, her connection to the crystal snapped, the hum disappeared, and the ball was almost to her. Panicked, Alice threw out a hand. “No!”

The ball of lightning winked out of existence.

Amon and Dalim stared at her, open mouthed. 

“W-what just happened?” Alice looked from one to the other.

“I told you she could do it.” Amon grinned widely. 

Dalim grimaced. “You broke the spell.” 

“Is that bad?” 

Amon took her hand. His skin was almost fever hot to the touch, dry, and soft as sin. “It’s fantastic. Truly.” His eyes were ablaze with unexpected passion. “You are the only person I know that can break a spell like that. Not counter it. Not block it. But break it.” 

“It’s a power from the Land of Reason. I wasn’t sure you could do it, but Amon thought if we pushed you, you would.” Dalim shrugged. “Good job.” He didn’t sound entirely pleased. 

“We should test it,” Amon said, his grin so wide it looked like it must be hurting his cheeks. “Practice with it.” He was positively gleeful, and his mood was catching.

“Yeah! We can see what sort of spells I can break. It’s like my very own super power.” Alice was getting excited now. She’d never had any kind of specialness to her - never excelled in anything. And now she had a special power no one else had. Well, no one in Cradle anyway. 

Dalim tugged her hand away from Amon’s grasp. “Sure. But not tonight. We need to plan it out. Figure out what we want to test for, what kind of challenges you need.” 

Amon’s gaze narrowed as he looked at his friend, but after a moment he nodded. “Fine. It can wait on proper planning. But let’s not put it off too long. We need to know if we can con- if she can control it at will.” 

“And we will. Later.” Dalim stood and helped Alice to her feet. “I think this is enough for tonight.”

She nodded. “I am excited but he’s right. Let’s get together tomorrow and decide what we want to test and how it works. I don’t want to be caught by surprise again. If I’m going to be your guinea pig, I get a vote on what we’re doing.”

Amon scowled, but after a moment, he nodded. “Fine.”

“Great. So we’re all in agreement.” Dalim still held Alice’s hand. “I’ll walk you back to your room, ok?”

“I can get there on my own.” Alice grinned. “Oliver helped me with reading the map, so it’s a lot easier to get around.” 

“Oliver, huh?” For a moment his smile fell, then it was right back in place. “Alright. Then I guess this is goodnight, huh?” He lifted her hand to his lips, brushing the lightest breath of a kiss across her knuckles. “Goodnight princess.”

Alice tried to hide the little shiver he gave her. It was really quite unfair, this flirtation. She liked Dalim, but he was too smooth. Too . . . polished. On the outside, anyway. She felt like there was more, but he hid it under this playful guise. “Goodnight, Dalim. Amon.” 

Dalim let her go and waved as she stepped out into the hall. The door closed and she was alone again. Well, as alone as one got in a hall of raucous boys. It was quieter than it had been, but there was still plenty of laughter and chatter as she passed on her way back to the girls’ dorms. 

Just as she passed from the well-lit and noisy corridor into the quiet stairwell, Blanc came into view. Alice felt inexplicably glad to see him. There was something about him that put her at ease. “Blanc!”

“Alice.” His gentle smile greeted her enthusiasm. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

She grinned. “I was visiting with some new friends. Amon and Dalim.”

Blanc nodded. “Lovely. I am glad you’re making friends.” He fell into step beside her. “I hope you don’t mind my accompanying you? I am headed in the same direction.”

“I don’t mind at all. I like your company.” 

“And I, yours.” His eyes glinted in the low lamp light, reflected flames flickering warmly behind the rectangle of his glasses. 

Alice had the most absurd urge to reach out and tuck a strand of his messy, pale hair behind his ear. Such an intimate gesture and yet the feeling between them seemed to welcome it. Still, she kept her hands to herself. 

“I hope that wasn’t too forward,” Blanc said after an awkward silence. 

“No! No, I said it first. I like that you like me too. Or, my company? You like my company. I like yours. Too. Company. As well.” Alice fell silent again, feeling like an idiot. She was babbling and now Blanc probably thought she was an idiot. 

Blanc laughed, a soft breathy sound that made something inside her uncoil pleasantly. A tension she hadn’t even realized she had. “Perhaps I can persuade you, then, to join me for tea? I’d like to enjoy your company even more, if that’s alright.” 

“I would like that.” Alice couldn’t read the expression he wore when she said yes. A mix, she thought, of delight and some faint melancholy or regret. She wondered why he held onto that trace of sadness and where it had come from. Blanc was a mystery to her, with his reserved politeness and his warm smiles. She wanted to know everything about him. 

“Excellent. Then, instead of supper tomorrow in the dining hall, you and I will adjourn privately for tea. Just the two of us.” 

There it was again, she thought. That secretive smile that seemed to promise so much without giving away a thing. The sensual curve of his lips, the slight lift of his brows, and the heat in his rose petal gaze made her skin prickle pleasantly. “Alright. That sounds good. Should I bring something?”

Blanc reached out then, his gloved fingertips almost touching her cheek. “Just your lovely self.”

Alice nodded. Somehow, that almost-touch was more enticing than all of Dalim’s obvious flirtations combined. 

The door below them clattered open as a group of students passed through the stairwell and onto another floor. The chatter broke the moment, and Blanc’s hand dropped to his side again. Neither said anything as they made their way into the women’s dormitory. Alice wasn’t sure what to say and Blanc seemed lost in thought.

He stopped at her door and she stood beside him, not really wanting to go in yet, but lacking an excuse to stay and talk. 

“I believe this is goodnight,” he said, sounding as reluctant as she felt. “It’s silly, I suppose, but I feel as if I could sit and chat with you for hours. We’ve only really just met and I’m already prepared to talk your ear off.” Blanc gave a self-deprecating laugh. 

“I wish you would,” Alice said, and then realized how that sounded. Her cheeks went hot as she tried to find a way to mitigate the damage. 

Blanc smiled. “I will see you tomorrow, Alice. Until then.” 

She managed a passable goodnight of her own and then went in, not staying to watch him leave. 

Part 5

#ikemen revolution #ikerev au #ikerev Oliver #ikerev Dalim #ikerev Amon #ikerev Blanc #fanfiction #fanfic #otome #otome guys #follower celebration

[foundtherightwords]

The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 5

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.  

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: awkward sex, discussion of self-harm

Chapter word count: 4.4k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Dawn and Emerald

It was late, and the tube was packed with weary people coming back from their evening shifts. Esme felt sorry for them, for how downtrodden they looked, and was almost embarrassed for how happy she was. The return journey seemed longer than the journey to the allotment, but it was probably because she was so eager to get off, and so was Billy.

She leaned on his shoulder, her hand in his, their fingers all tangled up. Now and again, she would raise her head, and he leaned down to meet her halfway. Their lips brushed briefly. She wanted to pull him to her and feel his mouth over hers again, but their carriage was nearly full, and she didn't feel brave enough for a public make-out session yet, so she had to satisfy herself with those fleeting touches. Even then, they still made her feel absurdly giddy, like a teenager having her first crush. Not that I know what that's like. When I was a teenager, I was too busy making sure Sibby, Tiff, and Sam ate and bathed and did their homework.

When they reached their station, Billy pulled her back and asked quietly, "Are we going to your place, or mine?"

A thrill went through Esme. Is this really happening? She remembered having to Google "how many dates before you have sex" while going out with Neil, and being so confused because the results were so wildly different. Never would she dream, in a million years, that she would be going home with a guy at the end of their first date. OK, first official date, but still.

As she pondered his question, however, that thrill faded somewhat in the face of practicalities. "Mine is probably better," she said. "Not that there's anything wrong with your flat," she quickly added. "It's just... Angua's not allowed there."

"That's OK. I've always wanted to see where you live." He took her hand again, and they all but ran to her flat.

The moment the door shut behind them, Billy drew her to him, picking up where they'd left off, but Esme couldn't seem to rediscover the excitement she'd felt first in the greenhouse and then on the tube. Her insecurities were rearing their heads, reminding her of a million ways in which she was inadequate, in which this might turn out as disappointing as their botched first date. She extricated her lips from Billy's, muttering, "I thought you wanted to see the flat."

"Later." He peeled her jacket off, then his own.

"I have to give Angua some water—"

But Angua would not be used as an excuse. The moment Esme let her off the leash, the little dog trotted to her water bowl, which was already full, lapped up some water, and settled into her bed with a contented sigh and a sideway glance at them, as if to say, "That's it for me tonight. You crazy kids get on with it." Esme laughed helplessly and let Billy pull her back into his arms.

This could work, she told herself. This will work.

At least, it never felt this way with her exes. Sex with Marco was awkward and fumbling, both of them being too young and inexperienced to really know how to work with each other. Her casual dates were just that, casual. Neil was... adequate, but certainly he's never been such a blazing heat against her, nor has he ever slammed her into a wall so hard she could feel her spine tingling, while in search of the bedroom door.

"Um, Billy, that's the broom cupboard."

He buried his face in her neck, laughing. "Right. Sorry."

She steered him toward the bedroom. He reached for the light switch by the door, but she put out a hand to stop him. "Do you mind if we keep the lights off?" she said. That was how she had always done it, letting the dark hide her shyness and her imperfections, her too-small breasts, her flabby stomach, the weird stretch marks from puberty that never went away. It had annoyed Neil, who preferred to see what he was doing, to no end, but it'd annoyed him even more when she seized up under a bright light, so he'd let it slide.

There was still some light coming in through the window from the street, enough for her to see Billy frown briefly, but he shrugged, amenable as always. "Sure."

They found their way to the bed, and the rest of their clothes, whatever that hadn't been discarded already all over her living room and kitchen floors, came off. Esme ducked under the cover. A second later, Billy joined her, his hot body pressing down on her, his mouth dropping scorching little kisses down her neck, her shoulder, her breast, his callused fingertips running down her sides, rough yet gentle at the same time, sending trembles all over her. His frenzy, so different from his usual shy self, caught her off-guard.

"Have you been with—have you been with lots of girls before?" Esme asked.

"Does it matter?" he said, his voice muffled as he trailed his lips over her skin.

"No. I'm just wondering."

"There was one or two... but not like this. Not like you." His lips were on her again, and she realized she didn't mind it, didn't mind letting him sweep her away in a whirlwind of desire, of excitement, of things unknown but intoxicating. Her hips started to move under him.

But then Billy paused. She could feel his arms quivering as he held his body poised over her.

"Hold on... I think—I think we should slow down," he panted in her ear.

"I thought you said we would be at it all night," she whispered back with a giggle, rolling her hips more deliberately, rhythmically, pressing herself into his hand.

"More reason for—slowing down then—"

"But I don't want to slow down." She reached out, searching for him, guiding him to her.

Suddenly he wrenched away from her with a moan, and she felt something hot and sticky splash across her belly and thighs.

Billy dropped his head.

"Shit," he mumbled into her shoulder. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

For what felt like an eternity, Esme could only lie there, motionless, while Billy said sorry again and again, his hands digging into her arms, his breath hot on her skin. Then she found herself thinking, as if her mind was somewhere outside of her body, And I just washed the sheets too.

The thought reminded her of practical matters. She shifted her hips, but Billy was pinning her in place. "I need to get up," she said.

He bolted up. "Sorry, yeah, sure..."

She gingerly lifted the duvet, sat up, and got out of bed.

"D'you need me to get you a towel or—"

"No," she replied, more sharply than she intended. "Just... no. It's fine."

She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot water did little good for her jumbled thoughts. Is it possible to die from embarrassment? Because she wanted to curl up inside herself and die, right now. Was it her fault? Had she pushed him too strongly? He had asked her to slow down, and she hadn't listened. It was their first date all over again. No, it was even worse, because she'd been so nervous about their first date that the disappointing end had been almost a relief, and at least she could blame Billy's hypomania for that. But this? After their first kiss, and all that passion, all the expectation... this was crushing.

Then she realized she's been focusing too much on herself. If this was such a blow to her, then how mortified Billy must be feeling. Oh God, what if he's left? Wrapping a towel around herself, she ran into the bedroom. No, he was still there, sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. The despondent hunch of his shoulders sent a twinge through her heart.

"Saved you some hot water," she said, much more softly than before, and dug out a clean towel from her cupboard.

He looked at her, then at the towel in confusion. It took him a moment to realize she wasn't mad at him. He took the towel, mouthed "Thank you", and darted into the bathroom.

While waiting for him, Esme put on her pajamas and turned on the nightlight. Billy reemerged a few minutes later, the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Listen, Esme, I'm really sorry about—" he began.

Esme was about to interrupt and tell him there was nothing to apologize for, when she caught a glimpse of his chest. There was a large mass of scars right under his collarbone, above his sternum. This was the first time he appeared without a top in front of her, so she'd never seen them before. When they were in bed together, she had been too focused on his mouth and his hands and everything else to notice the bumps under her fingers. But now they were there, unmistakable, and there appeared to be a particular shape to them...

She turned on the big light so she could examine the scars more clearly. Billy saw her eyes widen and attempted to cover himself with his hand, unwittingly repeating the nose-to-chest tic that she now recognized always surfaced whenever he was stressed or upset. But the gesture wasn't enough to cover the scars. She had seen. The scars were in the shape of a horse. No, not just a horse. The Horse. The Uffington White Horse.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Billy reluctantly dropped his hand. "... I did it."

She stared at him in horror. "What?!"

"A few years ago, I had a... psychotic break. It was bad. I cut myself. I don't remember why. I don't even remember doing it. I just... had to."

Tears welled up in Esme's eyes, blurring the shape of the Horse. Now she knew why he had fled at the sight of her necklace. What happened to him on that hill that haunted him so? She couldn't envision what horrors he'd been through, what pain he'd endured. She was only aware of the aching gulf between them, filled with those unknown things. How could she ever hope to cross that gulf and reach him?

"Please don't cry." He lifted his hand as if to wipe away her tears, but it seemed he couldn't bring himself to cross the gulf either. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Esme shook her head. "You're not making me cry," she said. "I'm crying for you. There's a difference."

"How?"

"When someone made you cry, that's because they're hurting you. When you cry for someone, that's because you love them." She didn't know where those words came from. They sounded like something in one of her mum's sappy books.

Billy gazed at her for a long moment. "Does that mean you love me?" eventually he asked.

She paused, not knowing how to answer. Instead, she reached out to touch the scars, lightly brushing her fingertips over them. And then, because touching was not enough, she leaned down and kissed them.

Billy sucked in a breath. "Esme, I can't—" But she kept the kiss tender, not sensuous, and a second later, she straightened up. He was looking at her, his lips quivering with things unsaid, his eyes sparkling with tears, looking so vulnerable that she took him in her arms, rocking his head on her shoulder. "It's all right," she murmured soothingly. "We don't have to do anything if you're not ready. Just stay with me. If you want to," she remembered to add.

He did want to stay. Soon they were nestled next to each other in bed, her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. Esme again rethought her idea of a first date. This is nice too, she decided, as she fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores, feeling his breath on her hair.

***

It must be quite early—the window was still dark, though there was a grayish quality to the darkness that told her morning was close—but something had woken her up. Then Esme realized it was Billy, lying on his back next to her, groaning and thrashing in the throes of a nightmare. She knew better than to try and wake him up in this state, so she rolled him to his side instead. As she did so, Billy's eyes popped open, huge and haunted, looking at her without seeing her. "Dawn?" he said.

She didn't know whether he was asking for someone named Dawn or whether he thought she was Dawn or whether he was asking if it was dawn, but now was not the time to ask. "Shh, it's OK," she whispered. "You're having a nightmare." His eyes closed then, and he slipped quietly back to sleep.

However, sleep eluded Esme, whose head was filled with questions about the mysterious Dawn. Of course, she had no illusion that Billy had never been with anyone before—he had told her as much. And it did not matter anyway. But if this Dawn meant so much to him that he called out for her in his sleep, she'd want to know.

The next morning, over breakfast, she asked, keeping her voice nonchalant, "Who's Dawn?"

Billy looked up from his toast. "Where'd you hear that name?"

"You had a nightmare and called me Dawn."

"Did I?" His fingers tapped the jar of strawberry preserve, a ghost of his tic. "God, I haven't thought of her in years."

"Who is she?" Esme repeated, a touch impatiently now.

"She's my—um, my brother's wife. Well, ex-wife."

"Your brother?"

"Jimmy."

Presumably, this was the same Jimmy that frightened young Billy with tales of the dog-meat curry. Another puzzle piece fell into place.

"I used to stay with them sometimes, when my dad—when I first came to London," Billy continued. "She's a lot older than Jimmy, I think, and Jimmy's a lot older than me, so she's more like an aunt. But she was kind to me. I used to have these nightmares about—" Again, there was a pause, and a correction—"nightmares like you wouldn't believe, and she would calm me down. But Jimmy got angry with me for telling her about the Horse. So I left to share a flat with some mates, and then Dawn and Jimmy split up. I never saw her again." There was a wistful note in his voice. "She's the closest thing to a mum I ever had."

"Where's Jimmy now?" Esme asked.

"Prison," Billy replied, and said no more.

How silly of her, to feel jealous of Dawn! There was another stab of pain in Esme's heart, not just for Billy, but also because with each of his reveals, the gulf between the two of them seemed to be gaping a little wider. How could she be there for him, when he spoke of things she could never imagine, no matter how many books and articles and studies she read? How could she support him when she didn't know what he was going through? She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze, an inadequate gesture compared to his pain. He smiled at her, but even that smile could not drive away the fear that one day, all her tears and kisses and touches would not be enough.

But Esme tried to ignore that fear and continued seeing Billy. She no longer fretted about what to do for their dates. They still met every Saturday to walk the dogs at the rescue center. When they didn't have the late shifts, he would come to her flat for dinner and stay the night. During her lunch breaks, Esme would bike down to Asda or the woodworking studio so they could have lunch together on the river bank. She discovered her love for flea markets again while scouring them for things to brighten up Billy's flat, and Billy would sometimes accompany her as well—much like herself, he didn't mind crowds as long as he didn't have to interact with them. But most of the time they just stayed home, cooking and eating and reading and going to bed together.

They had yet to try having sex again, though Esme had gone to her doctor to refill her birth control prescription and to make sure everything was good to go. Sometimes, when Billy spent the night, she would wake with his hand on her breast and the hard ridge of his arousal behind her, but then he would also wake, go crimson, and turn away or even jump out of bed. If she hinted that they might have another go at it, he would try to deflect, and it turned into the most awkward back-and-forth of "We don't have to if you don't want to" and "If you don't mind that I don't want to". In the end, Esme decided to just drop it. It made Billy uncomfortable, and she, in turn, would feel bad about making him uncomfortable, so why put more pressure on both of them? Of course, if the timing was right... but she never did have good timing. So she just learned to take things as they come and not to think too much of the future.

She also learned that it was OK to ask a lot of questions, and to talk, and to listen. Billy had good days and bad days, and she learned not to take his bad days personally. If anything, the bad days helped her to treasure the good days even more, made every moment they spent together even more precious, and gave special meanings to the simplest of things, like falling asleep next to him and waking up, knowing he was still there.

***

That Sunday, the flea market in Camden was quieter than usual. The colder weather might have something to do with it, but Esme didn't mind as she linked arms with Billy and strolled through the stalls, stopping at whatever caught their eyes. Seeing a table full of used books, they both navigated toward it without a word, and grinned at each other when they noticed their synchronized steps.

A crate of brightly-covered children's books stood in front of the table. To Esme's horror, she recognized them. A box containing similar books was currently gathering dust in her storage shed. With a glance at Billy, who was digging through the stacks next to her, she tried to nudge the crate out of the way, but her movement only drew Billy's attention. He saw the author's name. "Ivy Pendergast... Hey, she has the same last name as yours! This isn't your mum, is it?"

Of course, she had told him that her mum was a writer and illustrator of children's books, as well as other basic facts—her dad was a glass artist, she grew up in Kent, and she had three younger siblings, Sybil, Tiffany, and Sam. Billy had raised an eyebrow at that and said, "They really do like Discworld, don't they?" (they had been reading the books together—well, rereading for Esme—and Billy was really getting into the City Watch, because, as he said, he liked stories about crime-solving), and Esme had nodded in mock weariness. But there were still things she hadn't told him, and now she silently cursed her dad for not having a more common last name, and her mum for taking that last name when they married, despite all her feminist ideals. I could lie. But he's bound to find out sooner or later. Better get this over with.

"That is my mum, actually," she mumbled.

Billy flipped through the content of the crate with interest. "Emerald Saves a Grasshopper," he read out loud. "Emerald Saves a Lizard. Emerald Saves a Fox."

Esme closed her eyes, praying that he wouldn't put two and two together. After all, not a lot of people know Esme is short for Esmeralda, and even fewer know Esmeralda means Emerald in Spanish.

But apparently Billy was one of those people. "Emerald?" he said. "Esmeralda? It's you, isn't it?"

Esme nodded, smiling to hide her pained expression. "She started writing them when I was about three. They were all quite simple at first, but then she ran out of animals, and now it's Emerald Saves a Lesser-Spotted Blue Tit and Emerald Saves a Mantis Shrimp and God knows what else. It'll be Emerald Saves an Amoeba next, probably."

He grinned. "So she just saves animals?"

"It's for kids age 5 and under, Billy, they don't need a plot. She saves other things too, but they're not as popular as the animal ones... What are you doing?"

He was buying them. He was actually buying the books. God help me.

"You don't have to buy them, you know," she quickly said. "I probably still have a few boxes of them in the shed if you want. Signed, too."

"You should keep those. They'll be worth something in the future, right?"

"I doubt it. She's signed so many of them that the unsigned ones might be worth more."

Billy grinned again. After he'd paid for the books, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that your mum's books were based on you?"

Esme just shrugged. The truth was that, by the time she started school, they were no longer based on her. What she didn't tell Billy was that before growing up in Kent, she had grown up in a lot of other places as well, with the five of them—Sam hadn't been born at that point—crammed into one tiny camper van. It was the best day of her life when her dad decided to become a glass artist and realized you couldn't set up a kiln in a camper van. Nor did she tell him that her parents were always too busy with their creative endeavors to actually parent, and it fell to her, as the eldest, to give her younger siblings some sort of routine and structure in their day-to-day life. While Emerald was saving all sorts of cute animals and having adventures, Esme had to save her siblings from getting into scraps and falling behind in their classes. She grew to hate those books.

She didn't tell Billy any of it because she realized, compared to his nightmarish childhood, hers was practically idyllic. She knew how terrible it would sound if she complained to him that she'd had to take care of her siblings growing up, when he'd grown up motherless, beaten by his father, and abandoned by his brother. And so she kept silent.

At the same time, she would love for her family to meet Billy. They all disapproved of Neil, but she knew they would adore Billy. And he would adore them, provided that they didn't stress him out too much. She only hoped her relationship with Billy had reached a point when it was appropriate to introduce him to her family (why isn't there a guide to such things?)

"What are you doing for Christmas?" she asked one night while they were in bed, Feet of Clay propped up on her knees. Christmas was still a few weeks away, but knowing Billy (and herself), she thought she'd give themselves time to mentally prepare.

"Nothing, probably. Last year Jacob invited me to his house, but this year he's going to visit his daughter in Australia. You?"

"I have to work on Christmas Day."

"Bummer."

"I don't mind. Christmas is always a busy time. People don't pay as much attention to their pets, and they can get into all sorts of things. Someone has to hold the fort."

"I'll come by and keep you company."

"Ugh, stop being so stinking sweet, will you?" She leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. Then, in a carefully casual manner, she said, "I'm going down to Kent to see my parents on Boxing Day though. Would you like to come with me?"

Billy sat up to face her. "You really mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Do they... what did you—I mean, how much did you tell them about me?"

"Not much, just that I'm seeing someone." She looked into his eyes. "Do you want me to tell them about your condition?"

He reached for her hand, clasping it tightly as if to stop his nervous tic, to anchor himself. "Would they... object, if they know?" he asked in a small voice.

"No," she said firmly. "And even if they did, it wouldn't matter to me." She lifted his hand and kissed his calluses. Billy's eyes softened. He tugged her forward until she landed on his lips.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispered against her mouth.

But Esme had other things on her mind. "I have to warn you though, my parents are kind of... unconventional." She almost laughed at the understatement.

"I've gathered as much."

"No, honestly. For one thing, they don't celebrate Christmas."

"Are they Jewish or—"

"No, they just think it's too commercialized. When I was growing up, they would just give us presents whenever they felt like it. Only when my sisters and I moved away that they accepted that Christmas was one of the few times we could all get together, so they reluctantly agree to host it, but they still won't do any of the traditional things though. It's daft."

"I think it's cute."

"It may have been cute when we were kids, but not when we started going to school," Esme said with a humorless laugh. "Imagine having to explain to your classmates that you had no Christmas presents because your parents didn't feel like it."

"At least you had presents," Billy said quietly, and shame burned Esme's face. She was doing the very thing she had vowed not to do—complain about her parents in front of Billy. She kissed him again to distract from the offense.

"I'm just telling you so you won't have to worry about bringing presents or anything."

"OK, I won't." He kissed her back. "You can tell them about me. I don't mind."

Chapter 6

A/N: The detail about Billy carving the Horse into his chest was taken from the show. It didn't happen in the book, as far as I remember.

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer

#billy knight #billy knight strike #cb strike #billy knight fic #billy knight x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn character #billy knight smut #joseph quinn smut

[bengiyo]

I Told Sunset About You Rewatch Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

It's time for the tension episode. This is where things come to a head. Let's just go.

This boy really liked Oh-aew so much that it rewired his sense of smell. It's really incredible how much Billkin was willing to be unattractive in this show. This team understood that to be truly beautiful, there needs to be a little ugly.

I'm really glad they took time for us to see Teh thank Hoon for the plane ticket.

I forgot we started with Oh-aew in the tub. The girlies were not ready.

Of course Teh is up at 4 am for Oh, but he wouldn't get up for Tarn. That poor girl. Look at Tuty in the background watching this gay shit go down.

Teh asking Tarn to go off with his friends while they all watch silently from behind the screen is still one of the best scenes in the e fire show. Will also never get over PP making Billkin cry for accidentally hitting him too hard during the horseplay.

See, even Tarn knows that Teh is making exceptions for Oh he wouldn't make for her.

They just love letting Billkin play Teh being awkward. The cut to Oh falling behind Bas? Incredible. Bas always knew what was going on and was so powerless to do anything about it.

Teh is actively flirting and confusing everyone!

"I'll be with Bas, then," but looks directly at Teh? Both of these boys need to stop using Tarn and Bas as a way to one-up each other.

This going back and forth between them, Oh-aew? Heart wrenching.

Truly, how much money have PP and Billkin made from Lays because of this scene on the deck?

Poor Bas. Puts his heart out there and gets crushed. Oh knew what agreeing to that New Year's date would mean. At least be has enough class to let Bad down.

This couch scene is great because it almost feels like it could be from a multi-cam sitcom.

Hammock scene my beloved. Oh-aew is so brave. He breaks the subtext of all of their interactions and pushes Teh directly. Lets him know as they're literally on top of each other that Teh is the source of his confusion about Bas. He asks Teh the question in a way that doesn't let him deny it. Teh knows it's coming and pretends like he doesn't. "I think you know. You really don't? But I think you do. Or you really don't? But I do think you know?" Teh can't help but ask, "Since when?" And can only answer "I don't know." And admit his desire for closeness when Oh leans forward and pushes.

And now Skyline. It's out in the open now. They may not have moved much, but everything shifted.

Oh, Tarn. I need you and Bas to get a scene like Lennier and Vir in Babylon 5 where they commiserate about Delenn and Londo.

Oh shit Teh is wearing the shirt. It's about to go down.

I get it, Teh. Oh-aew is just so alluring. This man is on the floor inhaling the paper. Mess of his face. He is so gone.

Skyline really is undefeated. The amount of control Oh exerts over Teh with just his presence is just so incredible to watch even still three years later.

"Why do you have to think so hard about it? Forget about it. Do whatever you feel like. There's no need for an answer, if there's no answer." This is what I'm saying!! We get so caught up in the warring over labels. They're just tools to help us think about ourselves. Oh knows intrinsically that these two are drawn to each other and it's stronger than what he's ever felt for Bas. That feeling is what matters. He offers Teh the time and patience of "secret" to let him figure it out. You can see Teh instantly relax at that and try to fall back into the flirtatious studying they've been doing.

Man, what is it about Teh? If Teh tells him he can't quit, Oh always finds a way to dig deeper.

Jesus, Skyline remains undefeated.

"As promised." It gets me every time.

I tell ya. It's always queer boys and their moms.

I don't know what went wrong with the original translation scene or the final scene from this episode when they were in post, but what we got was so good from the reshoots that I legit never want to see the discarded takes.

I still can't believe they filmed this while surrounded by tourists. The translation scene is still my favorite confession in BL. Oh knew what was happening. He knows Teh is flirting through these Chinese lessons. It's absolutely incredible. It's just so much. Teh connected the series that helped him find his purpose to his feelings for Oh. Just omg.

That's right, Tuty! Regulate!! You can smell the sexual energy! Don't let nothing gay happen on your watch!!!

Notice that the leg touching begins as soon as Tuty leaves? She lost focus and now look at us.

Oh is so careful, he mentions being tired from walking before touching Teh's leg. He's giving Teh another way to ease in by framing it as normal help. But the score knows. Oh's hand on the inside of his thigh knows.

Oh's shirt literally says sunset, and Teh is wearing the branded shirt. They wanted us to know how this was really the climactic moment of the show. That's where his head is still at.

JFC Teh pushing Oh's face to say he's not ready for that. Look. I need to pause for this one. So many of my young encounters did not begin with or ever involve kissing. It's just too much. We can rub each other's legs and grope all night, but there's something about kissing when you're in the closet that makes it too much. Oh made it clear it's what he wanted, Teh couldn't give it to him, but they can still touch.

"What if there are two male protagonists?" I was holding my breath at this point in 2020.

It's the way Teh can't stop moving as he pulls Oh onto his chest. He just can't stop touching. The breathing gets heavy. We know where this is going. And then he stops at Oh's chest and the spell is broken.

The hot, bothered, and devastated look on Oh's face is the most impressive single expression I've seen in all of BL.

The silence at the end is deafening, and then we go into PP singing Skyline? I remember this week breaking us.

What an incredible episode. All of the games. All of the rituals. All of the safety valves. All of the blinders. All of it just to have Teh bail in the moment because he faced the physical reality that Oh wasn't a woman. He once again made Oh think he wasn't enough after pouring it on thick all episode. Goddamn.

#i told sunset about you #thai bl #bl series #itsay meta #Ben watches

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

CROTUS PRENN HEADCANON DUMP

OKAY THIS IS THE BIGGEST THING, you know how Crotus Prenn maps are some of the smallest in the game?? This DOES NOT apply here.

Crotus Prenn refers to not just one building, but rather a collection of four buildings, connected underground via a collection of tunnels, and all the land above them.

You think you know terror? Imagine Sally blinking her decaying corpse ass after you in tight, claustrophobic, cobweb covered, pipe laden tunnels that are bricked off and decaying all around you. THAT is terror.

After the murders, and the significant drop in funding and reputation the Asylum took following the events of the incident, the entire building that functioned as the Disturbed Ward was closed off. The tunnels connecting it bricked off, and the windows and doors boarded up and left to decay.

This, expectedly did little to stop the hauntings that took place, or heal the wounds that the building represented. But it was a solution, and a cheap one at that, even if it was a bandaid over a bullet wound.

Over the years, more and more buildings were abandoned, boarded up and the tunnels beneath them bricked off, and Crotus Prenn went from 4 to 3, to 2, then 1 until eventually the owners gave up the dream and shuttered the doors for good.

Even after it was put into disuse, the Asylum couldn’t seem to stop claiming lives. First it was a young woman, disappeared after venturing into the buildings with her friends to explore it, only to later be discovered in the tunnels beneath the buildings, seemingly having gotten lost. Then it was a group of men who braved the superstition to harvest copper wire, only to, again, found dead. And so on and so forth. You want to party in the buildings? Deface them? A bit of light arson or teenage destruction? Lost, dead or scared UTTERLY SHITLESS.

Eventually, after the string of deaths attributed to the asylum and everyone getting a little terrified, a group of brave souls from the town took it upon themselves to try and solve the issue once and for all by attempting to burn it all down to rid themselves of the curse that seemed to follow the building.

The Disturbed Ward along with the Chapel and several smaller structures were burnt to a shell of themselves. Mission accomplished in that respect. But Sally decided enough was enough and left the asylum to go into town and psychologically torture those brave men and cause them an agonizingly slow death of suffocation. After that everyone seemed to want to leave the buildings alone. Wonder why!

It almost goes without saying but Crotus Prenn is haunted, that much is a given after the 150+ years of torment and agony that took place within its walls. However, I cannot understate this, but, not all of the Ghosts present were victims of Sally! Sally, her murder and the murders of all the patients and staff present in the Disturbed Ward are only one piece of a much, much grander puzzle of suffering.

In total there are 115, if not more spirits calling Crotus Prenn home!

These spirits originate from all throughout the Asylum’s lifetime, from the day it opened, to its reign as a sanitarium, to its final years as a rehabilitation facility. You’ll find spirits from the 1880s to the 1960s all living alongside each other with minimal clashing. Peace and love on planet earth!

I would say about 45% of the ghosts that inhabit the buildings are the former patients of the Disturbed Ward and it’s staff. 25% are patients from separate buildings, who aren’t directly tied to Sally or any of her patients, but faced different tragic demises. 15% are staff, both reluctant and devoted who chose to remain in the building to continue their work into the afterlife. And that last 5%? They’re strangers.

Which leads me into my next point. Not only is Crotus Prenn haunted with a capital H, but the sheer density of spirits and supernatural activity causes it to act like a beacon for other wayward spirits. Crotus Prenn isn’t heaven, but it isn’t hell either (at least not anymore), when you enter it’s halls you won’t find eternal peace but you will never be alone again.

The buildings almost seem alive. People passing in the dead of night have seen lights in the windows, even though power hasn’t flowed to any of the buildings in over 50 years. They’ve heard conversation, the sounds of people and hospital staff going about life. Almost as though a memory of a bygone time is replaying in perfect detail.

I cannot stress this enough: NONE OF THE OTHER SPIRITS IN CROTUS PRENN ARE KNOWN TO BE VIOLENT. At most what an instructive ghost hunter may experience a ghost pushing them back or giving a scratch in perceived self-defense and fear. However, that’s it!! There is only one spirit capable of extreme violence or killing the living in their midst and her name is Sally.

Why is Sally the only one capable of extreme violence and killing the living? Two things! Sally isn’t a ghost ghost, she’s a Newfoundland Hag. But also, because SALLY CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN AND DESTROY THE SOULS OF OTHER DANGEROUS SPIRITS. She will not allow any spirit that could harm her patients into the building, and if they make it that far, she’ll steal them away and make sure they can’t hurt anyone.

Ghost Hunters beware though, though it is easy to get activity in the buildings, they are teeming with life afterall. Their kind do find themselves becoming quick targets of Sally. Their presence and disturbing of the spirits makes them harmful to the patients, so they will be dealt with, even if it means Sally following them home!