#it makes me really happy and it makes me feel really rested and rewarded mentally

[thedreadvampy]

Ok so like my partner and their partner are moving today, right?

and my partner had top surgery like 2 months ago and their partner has injured their shoulder so I'm like ok I love to move boxes I am super happy to come help if that's useful? and they're like yes yes oh my god please cause we don't know if we've got the manpower to move anything.

so I go on Friday afternoon I am knocking off work early to help them move. I block out my calendar. I work longer days Monday-Wednesday to balance it out. I also have to leave work earlier than usual Tuesday and Thursday so it's a bit like ok I can squeeze this in if I use up all my TOIL from the last few weeks.

I have also turned down two different requests to hang out this evening bc I was like ok no I have plans that evening cause I'm helping people move

They started moving at lunchtime because that's when the friend with a van was available. Ok. I knock off work at 3 instead of 5 and I message to say ok you've been at this a while, do you still need me? My partner messages back and says yes, we've just got here we've not even started unpacking yet and there's more stuff left at the flat, come on down.

It's a 25 minute walk and when I get there the things remaining in the van and the car are:

a kettlebell

a single box

a small bag

so I take those up. then I stand awkwardly around in the living room while their very loud friend talks very loudly and nonstop until everyone is overwhelmed. there's a sofa that needs to come out of the flat because it's full of dog hair and my partner's partner is super allergic to dogs, so me and the loud friend carry that downstairs. my partner keeps trying to direct it even though that makes it WAY FUCKING HARDER. we agree with the van friend that he'll hang onto it for now and load it into the van.

then I go back up to the flat and stand around for 20 minutes

eventually I'm like ok is there anything. I could be doing here?

and they look at each other and they're like no. nah. we're done for today. We'll sort through our stuff and set up and you guys come back in a couple of hours and we'll go for beers

and ok like this is not anyone's fault but I'm so upset.

Like I have been functionally superfluous here. I moved two things that other people were already about to pick up, and I moved a sofa that would have got moved anyway (although Jay would have tried to move it. but frankly it doesn't seem like they've tried very hard to Not Move Furniture before that so who gives a shit?). and for that I have basically used up my whole Friday afternoon/evening and lost 2 work hours for what?

"come back in a couple of hours and we'll go for beers" I didn't sign up for beers! I booked out this evening because I wanted to do physical labour and move heavy things!!! I wanted to be helpful!!!! If I wanted to have a beer and socialise I would have taken up the several other offers of socialising this evening!!!! But I don't want to now because I'm so upscuttled and upset that I can't even be around people, I am sitting on the back step in my garden right now because there is a risk of encountering 1-2 people in my flat!!!!!

and I asked before I left work if I was needed for this exact reason! because I didn't want to show up hang around and leave!!!!!

and "oh so your Friday evening's free now"? It's NOT FREE I'm AUTISTIC it's DENUDED. I'm not doing the thing I was meant to be doing but my brain still thinks I'm meant to be doing it so I don't have the capacity to do anything else!!!!! I'm just HERE.

#red said #it's also like. i have been rushing around and dealing with people SO MUCH this week #i was really looking forward to this! i wanted to do pure body work for a bit that didn't require me to think or be social!!!! #like i hate it anyway when plans don't work out the way i think they will but i ESPECIALLY hate this #because i REALLY LIKE DOING MOVING STUFF #like it's legit one of my favourite things. i like being helpful in ways that don't involve emotional work. #i like lifting heavy things. i like packing stuff in the most efficient possible way. i like the physical work. #it makes me really happy and it makes me feel really rested and rewarded mentally #and it was exactly what i wanted to be doing this week and i don't get to do it!!!! #and the Is About Me? bit of my brain is so vocally indignant. like who moves house at lunchtime on a work day if you need help from friends? #which is totally irrational bc somebody else moving house is not about what's convenient for me #given that i don't have a van #but also it sucks!!!!! it sucks!!!!!! I've had a really stressy people-energy-y week and i wanted to lift furniture!!!!! #and i don't get to lift furniture!!!!!!!!!!

[onyourowndaisymae]

don't mind me... just thinking about the demon brothers slowly dropping the rest of their roster for you as they fall head over heels...

lucifer // mammon // levi // satan // asmo // beel (you are here) // belphie -- others coming soon, NSFW warning below, gn!reader

beelzebub, who doesn't have the capacity to get to know you in the way he should. it seems that every season of his life comes with heartbreaking turmoil, and he just has to get used to that feeling of emptiness in his stomach. first, with the celestial war, he lost lilith. now, as the exchange program began, he had to say goodbye to his twin brother for an entire year. he hopes you don't take it personally-- he just can't spare the mental or emotional energy to embrace your arrival like he should.

beelzebub, who can't thank you enough for the way you've repaired his family. he never would have suspected that you had been forming the pacts with his brothers to release belphie from the attic. a small, nervous part of him wonders if you had been nice to him just to get his pact, that you didn't mean all those things you said-- but he knows you. even if you had been lying, you did it for the right reasons. and after all, everything worked out, right? you're here, belphie's back, and the months since his twin's return have been nothing but happy. you have single-handedly stitched his patchwork family back together. beel can't find a way to show how important all you've done for his family really means, but he'll keep trying anyways.

beelzebub, who likes you a lot, actually. he's never been too keen romance. most of his interactions had been spurred on by the other party. he's been attracted to people who are kind yet self-assured, seeking him out first. all of his experiences in crushes, in romance, in bed, have all been a game of follow the leader-- not due to a lack of interest on his part, but because of trauma-ridden aloofness that caused him to focus on the things he still had. romance never topped the priority list... at least, not until it came to you. beel saw you as a member of the family for a long time, longer than he maybe should have. but there's something special about you. something about you that makes him love you differently than he does his brothers. he just wants to have you around, always, sharing meals and movies and glances across the dinner table that make his brothers squirm. he's finally found someone special in his life-- someone he's going to give romance a try for.

beelzebub, who has never been good at controlling his appetite. it hits him at the worst of times, constantly, gnawing at his insides until he can't ignore it. that was why he is stuck in this position. a hunger brews in him, all adrenaline from the latter half of the fangol game and lust, and-- fuck, he needs relief. water beats loudly against the tiles, disguising the deep growl in his throat as he tugs impatiently at his aching cock once, twice, listening hard to make sure no one else was still in the locker room. he listens until he couldn't anymore, until his hand began to move impatiently on its own, another growl rumbling in his chest before he relents and begins pleasuring himself. his mind wanders to you, on the railing of the bleachers, screaming your lungs out in support of his team, feet pounding against the metal steps as you jumped about. you were there for him, cheering for him, watching his every move. he imagines you creeping in to reward him after everyone else left, perched on your knees on the locker room floor, wide eyes watching him with so much love as you swallow his cock, plush lips wrapped around his shaft as you take him as far as you can. just the thought makes his cock throb in his hand. he didn't have long to finish himself off and head out, but his mind couldn't help but linger on the image a bit longer...

beelzebub, whose date night just got a whole lot better. the two of you had spent the evening at hell's kitchen eating your fill (or in beel's case, eating them out of stock) then coming back to the house of lamentation for a movie. but your hand began to wander during the movie-- not towards the snacks, which he offered you several times as your gaze began to wander, but to his upper thigh. your fingers creep in further, until you're brushing against the seam of his pants. he hardens at your touch, your gaze, the steady sound of your breathing next to him. he shoots you a curious look. he quietly warns you that yours fingers are touching him in a particular place-- surely you know that already? you nod. he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you onto his lap. his view of the screen may be obstructed, but it's obvious that the movie has fallen to the wayside for now. it's him that takes the initiative to guide your hips into a steady grind against his own, little gasps escaping yours lips as he watches you more intently than he ever did the screen. grinding turns to kissing and kissing turns to grabbing, his big hands grabbing at your sides, your ass, your thighs, spreading you open for him. his fingers slip past the waistline of your pants and begin to toy with your sex through your underwear. you begin to tug at his sweatpants, desperately reaching for his cock while rutting into his hand. his cock springs free-- fuck, he's massive-- and you whine for it. you tugged your pants off in a few hurried movements. he tries to warn you about needing more prep, but his words die in his throat as you whimper for it, tell him how much you need him. his eyes and mind both glaze over with lust as gathers your juices and scissors them inside of your entrance, reaching deeper and deeper as you grip his broad shoulders and moan. when you're ready, he lines you up over his cock and lets your sink onto his length. you're so tight and soft and his head is spinning. fuck. the drag of his cock through your insides makes him groan. he doesn't even realize he's pinned your back against the couch until you look up at him with wide eyes and murmur his name. he starts to pull back, but you repeat his name-- your tone is laced with lust, hands reaching for him to come closer, and he does. he hovers close enough to brush his lips against your ear and apologize. you're a strong human, right? you can handle a little roughness? his hips pull back then thrust roughly into you, making your vision blur for just a moment, before he begins a truly sinful pace. a new sort of appetite brews within him-- and you know he's never been good at resisting his gluttonous urges.

taglist for this series: @the-demonus-aunt // @scienceisfornerds // @hostilemakeover // @snow-fall1 // @kachan890 // @rphantom1 // @respitable

#obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me nightbringer #obey me nb #om nb #obey me smut #otome #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel smut #obey me beelzebub smut

[gatitties]

Hmmm let's see, since I'm feeling romantic, something inspired in Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana!

how about a YN who has the beauty inspired of Marylin Monroe (not necessarily the same or exactly the same, but I say an extremely beautiful person) and with the sweet heart of Princess Diana.

•°°°•°•°•°•^•°

✧⁠*⁠。YN, who abandoned her role as a princess, to live on many adventures with Luffy, who won YN's kind heart.

All te people are amazed, even being a rival of Hancock, YN acted in movies , theaters and was a very welcome person in all corners of the world, YN was a good form of financial income on the Mugiwara ship, YN was someone so charming that she won the hearts of the Yonko and Shichibukai (you know me, needless to say💞😔💞)

But! due to YN's misfortune, one of the celestial dragons wants to marry YN, and they are constantly chasing YN, as well as pirates and bandits, as much as YN is strong, YN lived in constant danger, as she was always persecuted for being famous and extremely affectionate he was also very smart

even though he's young, he's already responded to Shank's sly and affectionate compliments and that he's already had drinks with the redhead, as well as not dispensing with good tea with Mihawk.

but, in addition to her theatrics being comedy, YN harbored many insecurities to herself, YN was someone who never felt genuine approval, who always wondered if she really deserved to be friends with the Mugiwaras and travel with them, but she loved them so much , and it frustrated her too many times.

YN always thanked Luffy at certain times for letting YN join the crew, as Luffy didn't know how happy it made her to see her teammates waiting for YN after a long day on an island.

YN also liked to give gifts to everyone YN could, whether from Shanks or even Whitebeard, who also had a lot of affection and respect for his faithful companions. YN simply loved and protected everyone they loved, even with Hancock's intrigues, which YN took advantage of and made jealous to piss her off.

YN running away from arranged marriages and making new stories, however much their emotional and mental problems could shake, the Mugiwaras in particular, always cheered YN up somehow, Brook singing and encouraging YN to sing, Luffy taking YN's hands and starting a nonsensical and strange but fun dance, Franky doing SUPER cool things to impress YN, Nami and Robin being kind and teaching new things, as well as YN teaching them how to act in certain moments of danger, Chopper being cute and letting YN hugging, Usopp making jokes, Zoro just making YN drink with him and Sanji bringing wonderful food and juice ✧⁠*⁠。

( sorry if it's long, hope you understand, do it if you want, have a nice day!)

─Shanks & Mihawk x fem!reader

─Summary: the peaceful life with little adventures that you were looking for always turns into chases, luckily you can always have a rest with two of your favorite people

─Warnings: none

"Will you go again?"

You smiled at Luffy's pout as you once again grabbed your trusty backpack to head to a small boat moored to the Thousand Sunny.

"Yes, I've already spent a couple of months with you all, plus I have an island to go to, they need staff for a play."

He nodded, still frowning, you said goodbye to him briefly before setting sail, the others found out later, you didn't like goodbyes so normally you would leave the ship to come and go whenever you wanted, Luffy didn't have many complaints since you were part of the crew since you ran away from your kingdom, abandoning your position as princess to go on adventures.

The thing is that your eagerness for the movies and the theater made you have to travel more constantly and get away from the Mugiwaras, at least you knew how to manage to fight or dodge the marines or pirates most of the time, since you had a reward for your head, not only that, but the last news you received, more like a threat, was that a celestial dragon wanted to ask for your hand in marriage. Despite being young, you had run away from many arranged marriages and this would be no exception.

After several days you arrived on the island, luckily there was no unwanted person waiting for you and you were able to tour the town warming the hearts of the people with whom you stopped to ask about the place. It didn't last long though because word spread fast, forcing you to keep a low profile for the rest of your stay until the day of the play.

Not everything is so bad when word gets out about your location, apart from marines, thieves or ruffians looking to take advantage of you or your reward, your friends also know where they can find you. You were a well-known person, either for your person in the world of acting or for your old role in your kingdom, not all you encountered after that were persecutions and dangers, you always met some of your friends on your days away of the Thousand Sunny.

"I don't know why I keep accepting."

"Aw come on, you always have a good time with me."

"Sure, whatever."

Mihawk crossed his arms, not looking at Shanks, both of them on their way to the bar in the town where you were, the swordsman's reasons went beyond sharing a drink with the redhead, although Shanks himself was also here because he found out that you would act tonight in a play. While the two men were spending the afternoon drinking, you were going over the last lines of your script, you didn't expect to see them there today, since they were usually busy with their Yonko and Warlord titles, you were unaware that these two would go to the end of the world to look for you if necessary.

You had to erase the goofy smile that grew on your face when you saw them sitting in the audience, focusing on your role once you went on stage, unfortunately halfway through the play a group of pirates broke in threatening you to go with them in a 'nice' way if you didn't want to be subjected to force.

There were few things that really bothered you, but one thing you never tolerated was someone interrupting your performances, even though Shanks and Mihawk were there, they stayed in their seats with a smile as they watched you use the stage set to hit and scold the pirates for having interrupted the play.

Luckily there were no more inconveniences and you were able to finish your work, the small anger quickly passed when you saw that those two were waiting for you at the back exit, you greeted them with your best smile and a warm hug.

"What are you two doing here? I thought you guys were busy or something, nice to see you again."

"We heard some rumors and I dragged Mihawk here with me, you know this guy needs to hang out more often."

The swordsman rolled his eyes, offering you his jacket since night had fallen a couple of hours ago and the wind was starting to get colder, you thanked him silently as you placed it on your shoulders.

"Yeah, he should travel and socialize more, why don't you join me in my next destination?"

You elbowed his arm with a mocking smile, he looked at you silently sighing, his head shaking slowly.

"I have places to be, but I wouldn't mind being with you."

"Me neither…"

The redhead put his hand to his heart pretending to be stabbed, he grabbed your shoulder dramatically, pulling you slightly.

"Why don't you offer me to travel with you?! I would also like to go with you."

"Because you have a crew to turn to, he doesn't."

Shanks pouted, looking at you with puppy dog eyes, giving his partner a dirty look without you noticing, though you caught him in the act which made you smile at his antics, you patted his shoulder pushing him to start walking.

"I'll think about it, but for now, why don't we go to the bar? I will invite to a couple of rounds."

#op #one piece #one piece x reader #reader insert #fem!reader #shanks x reader #mihawk x reader #x reader #request #one piece scenario #sfw

[bell4lan]

Thank You For The Meal!

Genre: Smut

DNI: NON-MLM/NBLM, fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, trans fetishizers

CW: Cunnilingus, feminine words used for privates, masculine words used for the clit, reader is called sir/master, gorou is called puppy and good boy once

Character(s)/Reader: Gorou and Trans Male Reader

You sat at your desk with your head in your hands, desperately trying to think of something to write down. You were an author, and had promised Yae Publishing House that you'd get 3 chapters finished in a week because you were behind schedule. However, you lacked inspiration. You had no clue what to write, you didn't even know what the story should be about. People seemed to like action and adventure, but you had already written books like those. It was boring writing the same thing over and over again, and you were sure consumers wouldn't want to read recycled stories.

You sighed before looking at the stack of books you had gotten for research. You thought reading would help get that creative energy flowing, but you were exhausted from thinking all day long. Your brain didn't feel like reading, you had no clue what to do. You decided to just pick up a book and read it anyway, you couldn't waste any time if you wanted to get this done.

You were so absorbed in your work that you didn't hear the door open or the light footsteps coming towards you. You jumped at the sudden hand on your shoulder, quickly glancing up at the person who it belonged to.

"Sorry (Name), did I scare you?" Gorou, your boyfriend, asked softly. He saw how messy your desk was, papers thrown about and a pile of books in the corner. His look of slight surprise from scaring you had morphed into one of worry.

"Y-yeah you did. It's not your fault though, i've been so caught up in writing I didn't hear you." You explained as you quickly cleaned up your desk once you saw his expression. Gorou started to comfortingly rub your shoulders, his tail wagging slowly behind him.

"Have you really been doing this all day? No breaks?" He asked.

"Yes- well, no. I had my lunch break and well bathroom breaks but thats about it." You said, trying to word it in a way that doesn't make him even more worried.

"You need to take mental breaks too." He pouted as he spoke, clearly not happy with how you've been treating yourself. You spun around in your chair and wrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him.

"You're right Gorou, I'm sorry." You kissed his chest softly after you spoke. His left ear twitched slightly from the kiss, a faint blush painted his cheeks.

"Just take better care of yourself okay? You feel tense." He scolded lightly. You nodded before resting your head against his chest, hearing his heart speed up from the touch. It made you smile knowing that even after being together for a while, you could still make his heart race.

Gorou moved to your lap, answering all the questions you had about his day as he ran his fingers through your hair.

"You're still pretty tense. Would you like some help?" Gorou asked politely.

"Yes, but how would you help me?"

A light blush spread across his cheeks, making you confused.

"Can...I give you head?" He asked shyly, tail swaying a bit faster. His question took you by surprise. You hadn't expected that his method to help you destress would be sexual, not that you minded though.

"Of course you can. I'll give you a reward too." You said, smiling up at him.

"Y-you don't have to do anything. I'm doing this for you, plus giving you pleasure makes me feel good too." He admitted quietly while fidgeting with your shirt. You smiled more and gave him a small kiss on the lips.

"If we're going to do this, i'd rather do it on the bed." You said. Gorou nodded and got off your lap, patiently waiting for you to get in a comfortable position. You decided to sit on the edge of the bed instead of laying down, and pat your thigh so Gorou would come to you. Gorou walked over and kneeled between your legs, undoing the string on your sweats and pulling them down.

Gorou messily licked at your thighs, tail picking up a bit of speed. You couldn't help but chuckle at his eagerness, he looked so cute getting all excited because he was going to give you head.

He pulled off your boxers, licking his lips on instinct from seeing your cunt. He looked up at you with a pleading look in his eyes.

"May I sir?" He asked.

"Of course, go ahead." You said, spreading your legs a bit wider to welcome him. He smiled and trailed soft kisses down your pussy, giving a long lick back up to your t-dick. After getting a taste, he didn't hold back. He started to skillfully lap at your arousal, only looking at your cunt as he did. You sighed heavily from the stimulation, your earlier tension melting away as you felt Gorou's wet tongue lick you up.

You moved your dominant hand to his head, pushing him further into your pussy earning a cute whine in return. You looked down to see Gorou's bright red face and pointed up ears, his eyes were focused only on your sex. You found it so adorable how you could tell just how aroused he was from his ears and eyes. He had such a soft, needy look in his eyes as he ate you up. This combined with his soft moans made you even more wet than before.

"Y-You gotta give my dick more attention babe." You stuttered out as you looked down at him. He pulls away a bit, your arousal sticking to his face.

"I'm sorry sir." He said before quickly going back to your pussy, making sure to lick and suck at your t-dick. He moaned as he saw your thighs shake. Knowing that he made you squirm had him feeling rewarded, like he accomplished something great. He inserted his tongue into your hole and looked up at you, letting out a loud whine as he saw your blissed out face. His tail wagged excitedly and he continued to eat you out, not caring at all about the mess on his face.

"Sh-shit Gorou, i'm gonna cum puppy." You warned, looking down at him. Gorou pulled his tongue out and started lapping at your folds again, humming around your dick once he reached it. He moved his thumb to your cock and stroked it quickly, pulling away to speak.

"Cum on my face please please master I need you to cum on my face!" He pleaded, looking up at you as he went back to eating you out. You groaned at his words and kept his head in place as you felt yourself grow closer and closer. His movements turned more desperate, wanting so badly for you to cum.

Your moans got louder, thighs quivering as you finally released onto Gorou's face. He let out the loudest moan as you did, his mouth not leaving your cunt until you finished orgasming. He stopped touching your t-dick and continued to lap at you until he licked up as much cum as he could. You twitched from the overstimulation, almost pushing him away so you could calm down.

"Fuck that was so good, you've been such a good boy tonight." You panted out as you ran your hand through his hair. He pulled away from your pussy, strands of your cum connecting to his face. All around his mouth was shiny, making you chuckle.

"You're such a messy eater Gorou. Are you sure you don't want anything in return?" You teased. Gorou nodded, seemingly embarrassed about something. You observed his body, seeing a wet patch in his pants.

"Did you cum just from giving your master head?" You teased. Gorou flushed a deep red as he looked down in shame. You lifted his chin so he'd be looking up at you, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"You were good today, so i'll let it slide." You whispered and smirked. Gorou smiled shyly and got up, helping you clean up because your legs were so weak from the orgasm he gave you.

After you both cleaned up, you looked back at your desk and smiled. "Maybe I should write a smut book." You joked. Gorou just shook his head with a small smile.

---------------------------------------------------

This had been on my mind all day. I had to write it. I'm 100% a believer in the fact that Gorou would be eager to please his s/o ^^. I might post this on ao3 too because it's one of my more smutty ones.

This is definitely getting flagged.

#genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin smut #gorou x male reader #ftm reader #trans reader #gorou smut

[chiyoso]

original pin

hi pookie. to those who read this the first time, welcome back, this is a re-write. an update. i kinda found the initial update i did rushed, not clearly descriptive of my situation outside this writing hobby of mine. also for the ones that i tagged, i have notes for you <3 (sorry for the tag 🫶🏻)

alright. hello hello. i'm chiyo, a jjk-focused/sporadic genshin and hsr fanfic writer, and you've caught me, and this blog in such bad time, and im so, so very fucking burnt out.

writing for me should be fun, stress relieving, and that goes for any other hobby i have. i have been told and supported countless of times to take a rest, to take a break from this, but my stubborn ass continues to try and get something out, anything to keep my blog alive, hells, it feels like a toxic relationship where i keep coming back, because i remember all the fun, happy and fond times i had in this app, only then to return to why it becomes draining, exhausting.

just sat there, occasionally laid on my back, using my phone, but with unmoving thumbs, with a brain lacking the world that needs the narrative to make a story, fuck, where has it gone?

that innocent, startup of mine, the newfound love and interest for that world of fiction that you all create. dude, i remember being so happy discovering that this brain of mine can conjure up so many shit, all because of your words, it's fucking amazing. hence, the start of the era of my honkai star rail writing journey. (hsr/hi3rd fans who followed me, i let you down with my jujutsu kaisen brainrot obsession im sorry lmao)

“take a break hira,” “take a break chiyo,” “please, take a break.”

i've heard it all, and with utmost love and respect, thank you.

thank you for everything, every word, every action, and every peep of interest you all had for me. small and big creators, who, stopped by because of my small percent chance drop in on their feed, because of the stories i created that you shared, i've met so many wonderful, inspring and motivating people in tumblr, fuck, i didn't expect to crrate a little community all by myself, with my grit alone, it's so rewarding for someone who strives for perfection, for someone who struggles with her mental health daily, for someone who deluded themselves in a world of fiction, I can't express my genuine gratitude enough.

i'm not quitting. maybe i should've mentionrd that earlier to prevent you from getting rattled, but continuing off, i don't find myself quitting this writing journey, maybe i'm just not in the right mental headspace for it at this time. damn, my ex really fucked me up LMAO.

right, i'm aware of the less and lessening interactions i've had with the people i've encountered throughout tumblr, i feel sick of myself for not being able to catch up, nor interact with any of you as much as i could anymore, it really, really fucking sucks, i hate it, i hate it, i do.

i still have leftover projects to go over and publish, because i still want MY ideas, MY thoughts, MY worlds of fictional prowess to all of you. i'm not done, but i will say, that i'm- i'm so incredibly, so very sorry to the ones that were highly, to the heavens, expecting greatness from me, to the ones who were anticipating my unfinished stories, fuck, there's so much to do, yet my body, my mind, they do not respond, as if i'm losing my sense of time, literally.

all i can say to those sticking with me because of their plain interest for me, i wish, i pray, i'll beg, beg for me, my soul, my mind, my body, my spirit to heal, and heal faster, so i can love you all at my 100%, not with my trying 20%, and lower.

thank you. to the old, and to the recent supporters that got me to 3k followers and counting, fuckin' wild. actually insane.

i'll continue to write. i'll continue to create. i don't want to quit.

i don't want to leave the only thing that gave me freedom, and the genuine happiness the first time, making me discover shit about myself, and there's that.

p.s. apologies for my jjk brainrot everyone who followed for genshin and hsr <3 also that one popular otome game, love & deepspace? yeah, that shit's also fucking me up so good.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (lawd i feel bad for tagging)

@ainescribe @wanderingconstellations @teapartyspilled @v3lv3tf0x @ciarchivez ⸻ you fucking OGS. literally five pillars of my life, the cheerleaders, my absolute undying support of this blog, you saw me at my noob tumblr handling form, the lows, the highs, and the absolute peaks, i consider all of you special, i do, you all made tumblr and the writing community such a fun place for me. thank you, thank you, i just can't spam that voiceline enough.

@peachdues @screampied @chuluoyi @blkkizzat @jabamin @flametrashira @meowzfordayz ⸻ you superstar mutuals of mine. we've only interacted sporadically, PLEASE BLAME MY BURNOUT AND COLLEGE SCHEDULE FOR THAT, but all of you invoked so much burning hope, and motivation for me through your stories, AND your interests for me, whether it'd be something about my themes, edits, stories, it doesn't matter, you all took interest in lil' ol me, despite what, being such big content creators? FUCK??? that's insane. thank you.

god, i seriously wish my schedule would just clear up by a fuckton, and then again, i was the one who took psychology and performing arts 💤 i hope, hope HOPE i get to interact with you all again once i take a leave/break from college.

⸻ with all my love, chiyo.

#real shit i think i just need dick #that or a love so overwhelming from a person that theyll die for me cos id do the same

[strayfics]

hiiiii i rly enjoyed ur haechan drabble 💚 can i request for one of mark lee but with playful pecks or kisses ? ty in advance !

[NCT] MARK - SURPRISE KISSES

☆ Mark x gn reader ☆ fluff ☆ 1k+ words ☆ Giving a kiss out of the blue and watching the other get flustered. Note: I'm really happy you liked it and thank you for requesting! It's a bit late but I hope you enjoy this one too!!

At the start of your relationship, you could hardly imagine that anything would be better than making your boyfriend laugh. You wouldn’t say that you’re the funniest person alive, so whenever a little joke or a small comment was rewarded with Mark’s giggle, you felt like the happiest person alive.

That was, until your relationship developed to the point where casual kisses became more and more regular.

Saying hello and goodbye, good morning and good night with a peck was as natural as breathing, and it left room for the two of you to just approach the other without any particular reason aside from wanting a kiss. So, on a particular movie night date, that’s exactly what you did.

The movie was past its halfway point already when your eyelids started to feel heavy as you rested your head on Mark’s shoulder. He was completely engrossed in the scenes, even though you had watched it at least three times together already – he must have seen it even more times. For a while, you settled on watching his face and his minute reactions instead of the tv, letting your thoughts wander.

They didn’t go too far, eyes fixed and lingering on your boyfriend's face, when an idea suddenly popped into your head and you acted without any hesitation. You leaned up a bit and pressed a quick peck on his cheek.

You were met with wide, rapidly blinking eyes on a confused, visibly reddening face. “Huh? What was that?” It was as if you just snapped him out of the movie’s world and for a moment, he was unable to register what just happened.

You grinned at his reaction, your grin turning into giggles as you pressed a similarly quick kiss to his lips as well. “Nothing, I just really wanted to kiss you.”

“O-oh, okay…?” Mark was still looking at you like he wasn’t sure why you did that, and he kept glancing back at you in case you had something more to say. However, you just laid your head back on his shoulder and turned to the screen, smiling to yourself.

On that day, you committed Mark’s flustered expression to memory and made a mental note to surprise him with kisses more often.

A few more times and you were addicted. You kissed his cheek when he was too focused on something and didn’t notice you coming into his study. You kissed his neck when you cuddled in bed when he didn’t expect it. You pecked his lips when he was rambling too much and going in circles. You took every opportunity to watch him freeze for a moment, then blush and stutter and giggle in embarrassment. You thought that he would get used to your random kisses after a while but somehow, it never failed to catch him off-guard.

Everything was perfect until one day, your boyfriend took revenge.

It wasn’t that he intended to do so, the situation just presented itself naturally. The universe or some higher power must have taken pity on his heart and decided to make things even.

This evening, you were sitting on the couch, working on your laptop while Mark scrolled on his phone beside you. It was a quiet and comfortable moment, just existing in each other’s presence until you finished what you had to do and you could start making dinner. You were completely focused on the task at hand, losing all sense of time and space as you sunk into your thoughts.

You’re not sure how long you were in this state, only that what pulled you out of it was a pair of soft lips pressed to your cheek. As if mirroring the first time Mark was on the receiving end, you just stared at him with a confused expression and felt your face grow warmer under his self-satisfied look.

“What? Only you can give me surprise kisses?” he grinned and poked your cheek for good measure.

“N-no, I just… didn’t expect it…” you stated the obvious, looking away from him to your laptop’s screen but unable to find anything to focus on anymore.

“Cute,” Mark laughed at your reaction and gave you another peck before reaching over to take your laptop out of your hands and put it on the coffee table. “I was thinking that you should take a break and eat something, by the way.”

“Um, okay…” you nodded but made no move to get up, so Mark poked your side. “Hey!”

“Come on, you can’t be so shocked. Do you have any idea how many times you kissed me out of the blue like that?” he laughed, attempting to poke you again but this time you could slap his finger away before it could reach you.

“Yeah but you never did that to me before,” you argued and made your own move to poke his side.

Mark laughed again and from the sparkling of his eyes, you could tell that it was game on. “Well, then maybe I should start doing it more often too.” He avoided your defenses, pretending to poke your side but leaning in to kiss your neck instead. “I admit it’s fun.”

Thus, things escalated into a full-blown tickle fight. There was no real winner or loser; the both of you continued to poke, tickle and kiss the other as much as you could. Boundless laughter filled the living room while you fell over on the couch and became a mess of intertwined limbs. The fight only ended when the two of you couldn’t catch your breath anymore and there was no other choice but to refill your lungs.

Mark was the first one to recover and give you another kiss despite his unceasing giggles. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back for another kiss when he wanted to part from you, and you slid your fingers upwards to mess his hair up while he was distracted with your lips moving against his.

He looked mildly offended when he pulled away and looked down at you, but when he saw your fond smile, he couldn’t help but lean down again to press a kiss on the tip of your nose and mutter another “cute.”

“Cuter,” you argued, nuzzling your nose together with his.

You both needed a few moments of rest and cuddling after your tickle fight, neither of you quite wanting to separate just yet. Dinner would have to wait for a little while longer…

#nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream imagines #mark lee #mark imagines #nct drabbles #nct 127 drabbles #nct dream drabbles #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct 125 fluff #mark fluff #mark drabbles #mark scenarios

[faerytreealtars]

~♡* How best to be kind to oneself *♡~

Hello, Saplings! 🌱 A new PAC today that I hope you enjoy, take a deep breath, and choose whatever images resonate with your soul and heart, Happy reading! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

It seems to be a common occurrence in modernity to not appreciate yourself, instead we are pushed to always seek ways to improve ourselves and put down if we seem to love our self. We sometimes end up not feeling worthy enough to be kind to ourselves. While it is all well and good to improve ourselves physically, mentally and spirituality I think is time for you to take a break and think to yourself, what is it that I should be kinder to myself about? Perhaps this pick a card will help you discover what! 

I would love to hear if the message you received resonated with you, so don’t feel afraid to comment, for it makes me so happy to connect with you all! 💕

[My Instagram ♡ ︳ Personal Readings ♤ ︳Faery Masterlist ☆]

Pile 1

[ Cards: Five of Cups, Two of Cups, Queen of Wands,  The Star ]

Dear Pile one,

Just because of mistakes you made in the past doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness, to have a dream or ambition to achieve. The same goes if someone hurt you in the past don't make the mistake of closing yourself off from opportunities or relationships, be they platonic or romantic. Allow your heart to be curious and give your brain a rest. This is how you can be kinder to yourself.

Oracle: Hansel - Survival 

When the moon came they set out, but they found no crumbs, for many thousands of birds that fly about the woods and fields had picked them up. Hansel said to Gretel, "We shall soon find our way" This tale is one that lodges in our minds and stays with us our whole life. These children are not lost nor do they accidentally come across hardship, they are most deliberately abandoned by their father and stepmother...everything that takes place within this tale is horrifying, and yet everything is met with equal measures of teamwork, truth & fear...the tale shows you that you too must find a clever way to outwit those who would harm you at the moment. you have to develop courage and the situation you find yourself within gives you the opportunity to truly be better

Pile 2 

[ Cards: Justice, Three of Swords, Nine of Cups and The Emperor ]

Dear Pile Two,

You really need to give yourself a chance, don't put yourself down we know you are wiser than you let on. Your soul knows what it wants, what it deserves so please stop letting others use & abuse you. We know you have a caring heart, you wish to see others happy but what about your own happiness? Our advice to you is to put yourself first, be the Queen/King you already are on the inside but bring it to your outer world. If anyone tries to shame or gaslight you for finally putting your needs first don't engage for they only want to bring you down.

Oracle: Snow-White & Rose-Red - Sister Love

This beautiful tale is about sisterhood, love, and family, and the love and trust people who have been raised well, and nurtured tenderly can give. It is a testament to nature and the trust that the sisters have between them.  Their family, which could be bitter, for they are not rich is small, close, and full of love. They have been taught to share everything and they do so, and in that sharing greater goodness can be created. When this card comes to you, know that it is time to do good turns (for yourself). To appreciate the small fortunes you have and to know that whatever blessing you have, it can expand and grow richer, deeper, and more lasting when we place our attention upon the blessing. so know at this time, it is important to appreciate what you have been gifted, love the friendship and family who have been good to you, and find every gem in the dirt, every star in the darkness. Make this your habit, and the rewards  will be peace, and joy, and contentment.

Pile 3

[ You are one, Ace of Wands, Nine of Swords, Queen of Pentacles ]

Dearest Pile Three

You need not be afraid of showing one's true self to the world. Those who love, & appreciate your truth will come and that is all you should focus upon. Your energy is that of a deer - peaceful, graceful, and full of compassion, a guiding light that can at the very least help one other soul in this lost world, so be brave and be authentic. Our advice to you is to show yourself some empathy at this current time. Acknowledge the unkind whispers that slither into your mind as untrue, planted by broken souls afraid of the light they see in you. Don't let it smother the light like overgrown weeds for there is so much potential you've yet to unleash

Oracle: The Wild Swans - Dedication

This is a tale of suffering in order to save family or people we care for, from a fate that is not their choosing. It is a tale of sacrifice - and of sacrifice that must be done without recognition. In this tale, a young woman's brothers are enchanted into the form of swans and she is told there is only one way to free them and that is through spinning magical cloaks made from flax of stinging nettles. Not a word can be spoken during this task so for years this woman has hands that are disfigured from the burning and the pain, feet that can barely tread upon the earth, and she must do this all in silence. Her dedication to this bizarre task and her silence in the face of demands for explanations creates mistrust all around her - but the truth is she cannot speak she must keep to her task - so the message of this card is your own dedication may be perceived as madness but it will result in healing, creativity, and great breakthroughs

Thank you to all who have read this far! I hope you found comfort, peace and/or wisdom through this pick a card. Every like and reblog is appreciated greatly by me and helps me so much, so thank you to all you lovely souls who find my work and like it! It Fills me so much joy! 

- Love, Fae 🔮🧚‍♀️

#tarotblr #channeling #divination #cartomancy #tarot #♡ messages channelled from the divine ♡ #pac tarot #pac #pick a card #Pick an image #Angel messages #faery tarot #tarot cards #oracle #guardian spirits #guardian angels #self love #self growth #self healing

[walker33961]

COLONEL'S H O M E 💗

Alejandro real-time forgot that he had a little picnic planned with you in Japan on spring times... You really felt a bit broken when you realised that he forgot ... Meanwhile....he was down feeling from the recent missions , no proper intels, seeing best ones in injury and enemies change in location often and sending threats to his motherland .....

He really wanted to tell you these things , Well...you were aware that the time was not going well over Him, over the team & base ... After the mission got finally complete from his side , He got busy reconstructing the base.. After a good ass war with the shadows and specially , Graves....

Whenever he came home , we was all dull , broken from inside ..he hardly shows his emotions..

He was always better in hiding emotions after losing his elder brother , He almost lost his brother like person, his best friend and mate, Rudy..

Everyone wanted to see the Happy - chilled Colonel they knew & always saw They know about you, they know you always fix him. They know you are his "Home"...

They have a high expectation this time since it was the most freak shit mission and he also got locked in his own black site prison...

.

Time : 2:43 AM

Door nob twisting sound fills the silent room and he stepped into the house, A beautiful garden surrounded 2 storey house, in a location which only Rudy, los Vaqueros, Task force 141 Boys knew about..

After he stepped he got welcome by the little sweetie in the house "Marie" The cute munchkin milk white cat you got as a wedding gift from your sweet mother- in - law.

It's a family tradition that the bride will be gifted at least 1 kitten / cat which signifies the peace love and wellbeing of the family, Marie always brought light to both of your dull days❤

But this time, emotions and mental health striked him bad honestly.... So it's different this time.. No happy face after petting Marie..still... His heart became a bit warm ..

.

Alejandro : Awe Pequeña - *Little* . How you've been.. *tired voice but enough to understand* *petting the cat*

"Donde esta tu Mamá? " - *Where's your Momma*

The cat meows and walks to your room, Alejandro following Marie.. After she stopped and scratched the door a bit... She went away to her little space and He Twisted the nob and sees you sleeping peacefully..

He saw your sleeping state , time stopped like he's in a dream and your a angel from heaven sleeping in beds as if sleeping in clouds..

Your wedding ring shinning bright, sharing little shines around your face..

The orange Bedlights throwing a gold glow over your fair light brown skin He sees it As it's sharing aura lights in the midnight dark blue sky .....

And your charcoal black hair, shinning normally... But he sees it as if it's the wave of sea in the yellow moonlit night.....

One thing tho...it's ain't like he's the one who works..

He always saw you struggling with your work and getting less chance for yourself.. Even ignoring the fact of being in rest when sick... That's why he planned for a Japan spring picnic under the sakura falls..but... Got cancelled due thar historic mission....

You didn't mind since you are understanding....He's fking lucky for it !

Alejandro :

*comes near you and sits down carefully on the floor, so that u don't wake up*

"I have no idea how I got you Mi Amor , Maybe I did something good in past and you're the reward for it....I can never describe how you fix me everytime, wish I could tell you how much I want a little picnic , a little time spend.... To make u feel loved a bit more . I want to open up my heart, don't know what the fuck is stopping me from being free to my beloved wife... I love you more than anything Y/n.. I just wish. ...

*starts sobbing*

You :

*slowly opening the eyes from the sudden sobbing sounds, seeing Alejandro sitting and wiping his eyes, hair all messed up, diry clothes still on, eyes full of tiredness*

You : *hugs him placing hands over his neck and pulling him closer*

"Don't cry , your pretty earthy brown eyes don't deserve these bitter like tears..I love you Ale , and i understand that it's not easy to open up no matter how close the person can be... Take your time Amor.....I'm always with you , to listen whatever you wanna speak about"... *kissed him on his forhead*

*you feel his body getting lighter from the pain and burden which was over him.. He was melting in your touch, sobs getting lighter and his breathing getting back on the right pattern*

Alejandro : Can we plan for it aga.....

You : Honey, You don't have to plan a trip to make me feel loved.. Your presence is much more important to me than those trips.. All i appreciate is a cup of coffee, sitting together in a couch , Marie in your lap , And some sweet movie playing in... I live for these moments to be happen everyday..bcz home is home..and your My Home . ...But your long mission calls and...

Alejandro : Not this time... Los Vaqueros and 141 , all of us got 6 months off from our missions...the rookies are well trained and will assist , we'll give direction to lead from our homes... As easy as that...

" I promise to make the use of these times, to the fullest.. ❤"

You : LOS QUIERO MUCHO ALEJANDRO - *love you so much* *A big kiss over his lips*

Alejandro : Y/n .... *staring at her with whole love*

You : Hmm?

Alejandro : Gracias por todo.... - *thanks for everything*

You : *hugs*

Alejandro : *inhaling her sent , which he feels home*

You : * Releasing the hug* Honey you better take a shower... I'll prepare the dinner

Alejandro : How about I have you tonight as a meal... It's been....

You : *pinches him a little*

Alejandro : Ouch Mi Amor, Okay okay I'm going for a shower...

*screaming from the bathroom *

"I'll make sure I keep my words about it...."

You : *😳😳😳😳😳😳*

｡.｡:∞♡*💗»»————><————««💗*♡∞:｡.｡

<3 : @alewesker @sleepyconfusedpotato @sarahs-secrets2

　　

#cod mw #cod mw2 #mw2 2022 #alejandro cod #call of duty fanart #cod imagine #gaz cod #price cod #rudy cod #aesthetic #alejandro vargas #alejandro x reader #alejandro x y/n #colonel alejandro vargas #los vaqueros #soap cod #cod x you #cod x reader #cod x oc

[nightcolorz]

Hiii. I love your acc and the analyses you've made of TVC characters; reading your posts has expanded and helped me articulate the ideas I already had. Anne Rice as an author was very revealing, I mean, by reading her books and analyzing the characters and their dynamics, you get a lot of information about her as a person. That's very interesting. I think all authors put a bit of themselves into their works, but with Anne Rice it feels more personal, maybe because there are quite a few books following the same characters. What do you think?

omg thank you so much 🥹❤️ the makes me so happy. I agree wholeheartedly with ur take on Anne rice. The books are suuuper personal, sometimes to the point where I almost feel like I shouldn’t have access to them 😭 like I’m reading someone’s weird diary. I think this was because her writing functioned as her only outlet. like iwtv was so visceral and sad bcus it was such a raw unfiltered expression of her grief, and the rest of the books all follow the same format (to varying degrees of quality lol).

When it comes to the characters, she was open about how every character is in some way representative of a part of her (especially Lestat and Louis). U can analyze for days how Louis and lestats evolutions r akin to witnessing evolutions of Anne rices mental health, Louis her former self insert created during probably the darkest time in her life later becoming a representation of what she considers the worst parts of herself that she is ashamed of and being basically cut from the series, and Lestat going from an embodiment of her fraught relationship with her husband in iwtv to in tvl a power fantasy who she wishes she was like to at the same time a mouth piece for her existential dread and loneliness and anxieties

The way that lestats religious crisis and manic breakdown from Memnoch to blood canticle aligns perfectly with Anne rice’s own religious crisis and sudden shift in her work is so crazy to me😭 and then there’s Anne rice literally using Lestat as a blatant mouth piece to scream at the audience in the iconic blood canticle opening monologue of course, how could we forget. A lot of the time the personal nature of these books makes the technical quality of them worse, but even still it is one of the major reasons why I love them so much. Part of it is that reading something so personal and unfiltered, where u get the impression that the author wasn’t thinking at all about how it would come off to people while writing it, makes it feel almost more real to me? Or more authentic? Reading tvc sometimes makes me feel like I’m reading actual history or personal accounts from real people. And the bad writing and offensiveness and heaps of bullshit and the pages of unrelated tangents adds to this in a way 😭. Like yeah this is exactly what reading a biography by a hundreds of years old vampire would be like lmao.

I love interpreting themes in these books so much because I often feel like Anne rice didn’t place them there on purpose. She had a very “I’ll just write whatever is in my mind and the themes will happen on there own” approach, and they did! and for someone like me analyzing it is super rewarding. Figuring stuff out that the author wasn’t even aware of, basically. Tvc are rich with meaning in a way that only these books are, and the personal nature and the lack of thought into meaning or themes is I think majorly responsible. For me when it comes to fiction, I like to do the work. And Anne rice throwing her personal as hell freak sex vampire yaoi with the most agonizing portrayals of trauma and mental illness ever no editing no forethought out into the world definitely gives me room to do the work 😭

Also, I tend to really only enjoy art if I feel like it is a messy reflection of the creator. I’m not sure why but I can never really get into something unless I can see some of the creators flaws or baggage reflected in the work 😭 I feel like art isn’t rlly art to me if I don’t feel like a know the person who made it a little too well after seeing it. There’s something really special about finding out the worst parts of someone in a book, honestly. I love reading these and being like there is so much wrong with this woman and I know way too much about it 😭 she’s horrible but I’ve lived in her mind and I don’t wanna leave.

I admire in a way Anne rices unhinged abandon with how blatantly vent-like and unfiltered her books were (literally unedited 😭). She got extremely lucky making a career from it, typing out all her insane thoughts and feelings into gay vampires and becoming rich and famous. A girl can only dream for that life, I do that shit for free on a03. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anything published that has the same energy as tvc in this way. The only thing that comes close would be like, a quotev fan fiction I read for laughs written by a ten year old in 2010 who is unintentionally revealing way too much to me about their semi concerning home life 😭. It’s wonderful! Thank u Anne rice for ur beautiful scary lack of shame u have given me so many things to write about on tumblr

#Thank u sm for the ask u r so sweet I’m so happy u like my blog sm #I’m sorry this response is a little jumbled I hope it was interesting to u #tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #iwtv #interview with the vampire #Anne rice

[marionettemi]

Tw: su*cidal ideation, mentions of offing oneself, really long vent ig

!! PLEASE BLOCK, DON’T REPORT!!

I don’t want to exist, but I don’t know if I want to die.

I am stuck in a space between life and death where I merely exist, and it is the worst thing I have ever experienced.

I don’t want to live to work for the rest of my life in a career I won’t like because I have no interests.

I don’t want to live until applying for said job, not wanting to, but needing money to survive.

I don’t want to live until college where I will be working to a life I’m not sure I want. To live to know whether I get to possibly live on my own, which seems more impossible with every growing day in a world where I am constantly reminded how doomed the economy is.

I don’t want to live until the end of high school, where I know all the rest will follow.

I don’t want to live until the tests in my senior year, which I am nowhere near prepared for.

I don't want to live the rest of my life suffering with my list of mental illnesses.

With all this, one might ask why I’m still surviving. The truth is, while I know it’s impossible, I feel like I deserve one good month. Even a good week would be enough. I feel like if I hold on long enough, then one day I will get a week where I dress up and go to a lake with a friend who will talk my ear off while I lay quietly on their chest. One week where I live on my own in an aesthetic apartment where I am who I want to be. Who I would be if it weren’t for…me.

If I just hold on long enough, surely I will be rewarded. For the suffering I have been through where everyday it is a fight to not make the ultimate decision to leave forever, surely life will turn out amazing like the books I read. A character going through the same things as me or more and ending up with an amazing life after all. They were rewarded for surviving, why can’t I be?

Yet everyday, I realize I am more alone than the last. Everyday, it feels like my chances are diminishing.

My life has revolved around my mental health since I could remember. After learning why I was the way I was, I was so sure I could get better. Yet here I am, years and years later, no better, if not worse than when I learned.

I don’t want to exist. If I could hit a button to disappear then I know I would. Maybe I’m just scared of the afterlife. I’m not particularly a good or bad person. I haven’t had the chance to become one yet. I never started the betterment arc, I suppose.

I want to live in a fairytale where someone will take me away and better me by my side. A world where everything will work out because it’s a story. A world I currently escape to.

I think it may be the support I want. If I had someone to guide me through my hard times, like a lover or best friend. If I had someone to explain the world to me, like a new and almost perfect guardian. If I had enough people around me willing to share enough love with me to give me interests, happiness, and a reason to live.

I don’t have enough reasons to live, yet I’m scared to leave. I’m scared I may be leaving right before my happy ending, especially one that closes with, “yet it’s just the beginning.” I want to believe my reward, my happy ending, my next chapter is coming soon. I don’t think it is, and I’m scared to run out of time.

I want to make my decision to leave or stay. I wish I could see the future to know if I escape this limbo between life and death.

I wish I never had to make this decision in the first place. I wish I didn’t exist.

#vent post #tw vent #tw sui ideation #svicide #tw self destructive behavior #tw sui implied #tw sui vent #tw sui talk #tw sui attempt #self mutalition #depressing shit #tw depressing stuff #tw self destruction #self mutilator #personal vent

[viluvr-archived]

Playing with their hair .

Leona , Malleus , Riddle , Azul , Cater , Silver .

Gn!reader

( a/n : stressed boys being soft ⁉️ )

LEONA !

He was too busy sleeping and he needed to catch up on school, somehow telling him you wouldn't snuggle with him when he sleeps or feel like it worked. Although he'd tell you "Whatever, 'm just doing this 'cause I know you won't last without affection"

He despised getting up early to get ready for class, he despised not having affection. So when he finally caught up on everything, he demands a reward as usual. Although, likely, the reward will always be staying with him in bed while he sleeps throughout the whole day, except when he wakes up because he gets hungry, which leaves him in a sour mood.

He looked too peaceful sleeping, it was a breath of fresh air compared to his usual moody, stoic, smug look when he's awake. You caress his face lightly admiring him, giving him a few pecks on the cheek before switching to play with his hair.

He purrs when you lightly massage his scalp, braiding some of his hair, and stroking it. You've managed to play with his hair and comb it without him waking up.

Although when you stopped, he immediately holds your hand, "Hey, I never told you to stop, didn't I?" You were shocked by his sudden awakening. "And aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" You ask him playfully, "That doesn't answer my question, little one." You mentally facepalm, having to continue playing with his long hair. "There ya go, isn't that better" he was smirking proudly at his triumphant of making you continue.

"You're supposed to be sleeping, hng" you whine at him. "Doesn't matter now"

"I'm starting you're only with me to play with your hair" you joke about it while pouting, he decides to tease you a bit. "Hm? So what if I am?" You gasp offended "Why you little!"

MALLEUS !

Malleus was reading a book he found interesting, but he couldn't focus because you were staring at him so much.

He chuckles at your action, "Dear, you're being a really adorable distraction today, aren't you?" He ushers you to come sit on his lap.

"Really? Sorry Mall, just wanted to play with your hair. I'll leave if you wanna" you play with the ends of his hair, brushing it with your hands. "Now I never told you to leave, dear. If it makes you happy to play with my hair, it'd be a pleasure for me to let you do so" your eyes lit up, which Malleus noticed, it made his day. You being happy always makes his day, whether it be hearing you're happy from another person or witnessing it from afar. He's happier witnessing it close up or if he's the one who made you happy tho.

"Continue playing with my hair as you please, dear. If you want to, you could do a braid too." He presses a kiss to your temple then continued reading his book, letting you play with his silky hair silently.

RIDDLE !

It was late at night already, Riddle was still studying. He told you not to wait for him anymore, he was worried you wouldn't get a comfortable sleep if you wait for him to come back, but the thought of him there not resting makes you worry 10x more.

You rushed to see if Riddle was doing fine, although you ended up seeing him sleeping on the table, his hair and uniform messy. It was evident that he was studying hard.

"Oh, Riddle.. I told you to take it easy" you place your jacket on him, slowly stroking his back, giving him comfort. He started shifting position, comfortable and longing for the warmth you give him. You sit beside him, looking at his face, stroking it. His hair was everywhere on his face, it was such an uncommon sight to see from the Housewarden of Heartslabyul. You push his hair back, and tuck it behind his ear. As you softly kiss his cheek, he started waking up. "Y/n..? How long have you been in here?" He asks, still sleepy. "Just now, Riddle" "Can we please stay here? Just for a minute" you nod at him, letting him lean on you, and place himself on your arms as you slowly stroke and play with his hair.

AZUL !

His hair is so soft, you can't change my mind, and he probably takes good care of it.

Whenever you'd come up to Azul, going into his office to check up on him while giving him a light massage on his shoulders he wants to melt and just hug you then and there. Sometimes when he feels really tired, he'd turn around while still sitting on his chair to hug you while you unconsciously play with his hair.

"It's ok, Azul. You can relax now, baby. Hm?" He's gonna cry now, when you call him an endearment he just starts floating and his heart skips a beat. He takes a deep breath and rubs circles on your sides, and he bites his lips to stop himself from smiling because someone might see. He just can't wait for the future.

He feels that you stopped playing with his hair, quite upset he looks up at you, pouting slightly.

"Oh? Azul, want me to continue?" "Yes please."

CATER !

It was a lazy day for the both of you, just watching movies, doing skin care, and weird shit he finds on the internet.

His head is laying on your lap, while you play with his hair, practicing some hairstyles on it. It made him sleepy, his eyes were closed, although you know he wasn't sleeping, you made little space buns on his hair and you took pictures of him. "Awww, how adorable," you say while giving him some pecks on the cheeks and one on his nose.

You found it cute, how his face scrunched when you did that. His cheeks were rosy, and he was holding your hand. "Keep going, please?" Well, you couldn't help it, he's just too adorable right now.

SILVER !

It was easy to play with Silvers's hair, he doesn't move a lot, nor does he complain. He just obliges and falls asleep throughout the whole process...

You were currently sitting on a high chair to get a lot more comfortable while playing with his hair.

"Is there something about my hair? It seems that you always play with them, sweetheart." He asks, genuinely curious. "Well, yeah. Y'know it's really pretty, soft, and silky!" He chuckles quietly at that. "Well, if that's so, I'm starting to think you're only with me for my hair" he jokes. "Silver! Hey, no. That's mean 😡" he grins at your action and pouty lips, you were now seated on his lap, and his hands were placed on your waist, rubbing your sides softly. "I say we take a nap" "You take a nap, while I play with your hair! Better, no? You sleep better with that!" He hums agreeing, "Yeah, better"

#( 📖 : mais works ) #twst x reader #twst x you #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twst headcanons #twst fluff #twisted wonderland x reader #leona x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar x you #malleus x reader #malleus fluff #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x y/n #riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #azul x mc #cater diamond x reader #cater x reader #silver x you #silver x reader

[clockworkreapers]

How will the main 6 be in a universe where the hemospectrum got swapped (rust become the highest while fuchsia the lowest)?

Hmm Iv done a blood swap before where I flip their blood colors but haven’t ever actually thought about a full social spectrum flip. Also I have a lot of questions on how that would work population wise is- like now are rusts are more rare and live longer and are more durable and fuchsias are abundant and live a short amount of time and are weak?

Just questions with the social swap but I’m going to say everything swaps then including all the biological stuff besides like mental powers and shit that relate to blood.

Sauron: he’d be royal and part of a very small circle right? So he’d have a lot of power and probably be a lot more emotional and softer since he’s allowed to be and people care about his well-being. Less afraid of the world around him but still enough for his anxieties to creep in when it’s “how do people view me, am I doing a good job.” He really wouldn’t have had as much bad luck growing up or in his adult life cuz the consequences for his actions would be so much lighter, less scars less mistrust of other trolls, less damage to his psyche. He’d still have his mental issues though, having depression and anxiety because your brain chemicals are fucky wont change if your social status does.

Falmea: see if she had none of the experiences and saw none of the shit she did growing up as one of the lowest social classes she would be so different. She’s still be brash and loud and very hot headed because that’s just her personality but the violence and the anger she harbors wouldent be there cuz she doesn’t need to fight to survive she doesn’t need to be the tough badass bitch that will fuck you up if you cross her. She’s probably be also way more oblivious to how the world works cuz well her life is going fine, she’s be the energetic entertaining outgoing loud friend at parties who can do whatever she wants.

Cyrusk: he would very likely stay military for the rest of his life get up in the ranks maybe even become one of the top ranks and get most of his time off just directing and organizing other trolls. He’d be pretty damn happy, higher social class im guessing he’d get more help for his disabilities so he’d get a much better prosthetic for his leg and his eye and left ear so he wouldn’t be half blind and def. He’d be a lot more comfy but maybe a bit more prone to indulgence and parties cuz he’s still an extrovert who really likes company.

Cybele: well she’s olive so she won’t much change being just bumped up like the equivalent of jade I guess? Hey maybe that means she can finally be a nurse! She’d absolutely love to be able to help people more, no matter how dirty the job is or how long helping people is always very rewarding to her the amount of work doesn’t matter. Both other than that I don’t think she would change at all.

Majell: she would be higher low class right? She’s probably be a bit less proper and a lot more aware of social issues cuz as much as Majell tries to understand and is part of that ecosystem she usually has a lot more power even then and can be a bit oblivious. If it’s flipped however yeah she is going to get that first hand experience, she’d likely try to push against it more strongly be more outspoken, more actively trying to make a difference in the system.

Helstm: He would be a lot different his core personality would still be there he’s still be a bit standoffish hed be a lot more “willing” to listen to people and do what he’s told cuz he’s have less grounds to just do what he wants. He’d be a lot more grown up personality wise because he would need to mature faster. I feel like because of that he’d have a much higher work ethic and probably be even more of a natural macgyver because he won’t have access to the expensive stuff. Without all his money and anything to his name or social status.

#long post #cuz you know I love to just explain things about my OCs #but yeah I just kinda implemented the same reasonings I used in a caste flip #cuz that’s kinda just the same thing? #anyways hopefully you get to nab that tasty info on them #a lot of core personality won’t change but how they interact with the world DEF does #ask #clock rambles

[circlejourney]

So, I started playing that game that I reblogged a couple of posts back. The gist of the game is that it explores what happens where people play a game with asymmetrical rewards for cooperating and cheating, repeatedly with the same opponents, and successful behaviours spread. (It's really well made, you should check it out.)

It made me feel a lot more about it than I thought it would. It also revealed something about myself that I find fascinating, baffling, and a little concerning.

When I got to the part where it asked me if I would cheat or cooperate in each round, I mentally skipped over the rewards and penalties for cheating and cooperating, and thought to myself that I would just cooperate every time.

My thinking was along the lines of: even if I don't personally benefit from it, another individual will, and that someone deserves it more than me. If people take advantage of me because of this, that's okay--they probably wanted/needed it more.

As the game shows, the "always cooperate" behaviour is always the first to get wiped out, because they're the ones who statistically lose the most.

This is just a game, but you know what? This pattern of behaviour is a direct mirror of my real-life worldview. I realised I wasn't seeing my self in this equation: I have it embedded in my moral code to prioritise other people's material gain over my own, even that of strangers.

Is this wise? No. Is this probably driven by the fact that my family is upper-middle-class in wealth, but never managed to impart a distrustful morality to me? Probably.

I've always had more resources than the people around me growing up. That means, in my mind, that it is my obligate place in society to give it away. I'm the sort to donate to charities and individuals, to tip generously when someone has emergency commissions open. (The only ones I don't extend that generosity to are corporations.) And when I see the little stick person in the game, whose money is a number in a computer, I go, "ah well, let's give it away, I'll always have more anyway."

The problem is: that hinges on the assurance that I do have an endless supply of resources that I can burn away for the causes I see as "right". If it's not money, it's my own health. I'll work hard for absolutely no payment just because someone else would benefit from it, and it would make them happy. This is what's going on when I pour dozens of hours into a community project and don't even separate my name from the rest of the contributor list at the end of it, or when I sit here and spend 6 hours every day drawing for friends.

Now I'm trying to strike out on my own and become independent, that mentality is somewhat hobbling me. Some would ask: why do things for free if I could be being paid for them? Well, because if I'm doing a good thing, I shouldn't expect to be paid. This is obviously a draining way to live. But I just don't know how to be selfish, to demand success or even recognition for myself.

#thinks

[tyanis]

I know I don’t really interact with this blog a whole lot, but thank you for doing the polls that you do. It’s one of the few community spaces here that truly feels like something EVERYBODY can join in on- you’ve fostered an extremely loving and safe space for a lot of people to be silly and enjoy resident evil and get excited when their faves win and subsequently devastated when they loose BCNEHENDJSMSK genuinely i Hope your mental health and the rest of your year in general gets infinitely better, and just once again, thank you for making these pills. A H U N D R E D is a MASSIVE achievement and you should be proud of yourself!!!!

I really truley appreciate your words and I'm so glad people felt safe here and it made me so happy to see the community being so civil with one another in this space. I've been in the Resident Evil fandom since the late 90s and have seen this fandom at its absolute worst. Even now, there are people that do some pretty horrific shit to others in the community... all because they prefer a different ship or character or whatever. It's all such a waste. Real life is already full of unrelenting pain, people should be allowed to just... enjoy the things that make them happy.

It's so much more rewarding to focus on creating something you love than tearing down what you hate. I wish more of you felt safe in community spaces and I wish I had the ability to keep this going forever. Everyone should be allowed to be silly and enjoy themselves openly without worrying about terrible repercussions from others. There's always going to be petty fandom drama, I know that, but we as a community really need to reign that shit it as it is stupidly out of hand.

Sometimes people just like different things. Not the end of the damn world. Ignore it, move on, create something for what YOU like.

I know this might have turned into a disjointed rant and I apologize for that... it's just been on my mind a lot lately.

Again thank you for the kind words, I really needed it today. I know I probably sound bitter right now, and I am, but knowing that people appreciate my silly polls... it helps.

#tldr #just be nice #but seriously I love you guys #resident evil #resident evil poll #my asks

[doctorguilty]

F&c thoughts more (suicide ment a lot)

I think the story board discussion really backs up my point the narrative got really cruel to simon though like I've been saying, it was weird to go out of the way to bring up like brand new flashbacks and send him on like a guilt journey over things he didn't do wrong particularly like, the autism which I stand by, and the story at face value was simon being willing to, in a sense, commit mental suicide by sacrificing his life and sanity to protect fionna's world, which is sort of his like, excuse in a way to give up, you know? Like he was already so depressed he missed being ice king because he didn't have to face his life, you're following me right, about the serious depression?

And then we get these boards with some unused dialogue that is way more direct about Simon's intent when it came to doing the ritual to see betty. We're sort of under the impression he was somehow trying to save her, something like that, and then after he apologized for everything the lifting him towards her mouth and him resigning to it seems like a "I accept what's coming to me". But no, no no its worse..!! In the unused dialogue he outright says, out loud, he was attempting to do the ritual because he wanted golbetty to consume him (and he would die. That's what would happen.), and maybe that way they'd at least be reunited in a way. Before meeting fionna before deciding to find a new crown for her, and destroy his brain, he was trying to get to the place he wanted to be to finally kill himself, with the closure he wanted. Do you understand. Do you follow me. And he changed his mind after meeting fionna, (even following the unused dialogue) that he would prefer to live and instead just sacrifice his brain. We can pretty much assume, the scene we ended up with, was more of his implicit desire to die (and fionna no longer needed simon to be alive to exist), and instead golbetty grants him another chance because SHE wants him to live. Which is nice don't get me wrong ! Like really it's nothing betty did it's like, the writers choice to put him through weird guilt about (the almost non existent??) power imbalance and disregard everything in between, in both AT and what betty fucked around and found out with, And again like, disregarding the whole part of the f&c highlight that the world would be a wreck without him having survived with magic etc like ... the star.. did we forget the star .....

Its just. Idk maybe it just hits too close to home to have this blatantly autistic and dangerously suicidally depressed man go through all that extra apologizing and weird framing of what he's at fault for when there's nothing like TRULY there is nothing and I'm not even kidding like it just doesn't make sense ,,,, give him a happier ending in s2 I am just feeling so unsatisfied with how his suffering was treated in the end (when it was otherwise like???? Really terrific the rest of the way through? How it was handled??)

Tbh I think the horny fans have the right idea taking it and running with "simon has a giantess vore kink for his chaos god wife" because that's just less depressing than how the reality was handled. Like sure I'll align myself with that. At least he'd be like, rewarded a little more on par with the happiness he (and betty for that matter!!) deserves :[

Idk like am I insane!!! Can anyone hear me! It's still so dark in here

#seth speaks #i dont have the boards saved on my phone you might have seen them out in the wild? #but i can go find them again at request

[slagclaren]

hi kajs!!!! i feel like i'm wording this very much like i'm at the q&a portion of a panel you're on so i'm going to roll with it... my question is...jenson was seen at the time 100 impact awards this weekend. he's just there for the leadership forum but! if jenson was getting an award for making an impact...what impact do you think they'd recognize him for?

OOOOOOH hi!!!!!! this is such a good question, i'm leaning forward in my seat and the microphone is crackling a bit...

okay so i actually don't know what the different categories that they give awards for are so i'm gonna make some stuff up (as usual):

jenson is nr1, top ranked and acclaimed in the Kajs category (kajsegory if u will) he's been bringing home the award for biggest impact on me for YEARS! i bought all his books, i met a ton of friends through him (including you :3) & he's permanently altered my brain chemistry so he's got that one in the bag

biggest Camp (/slag) impact ? i feel like the word camp has lost all it's meaning but he's had huuuge impact on f1 in that aspect.. industrious monagamist playboy or whatever he called himself. while lewis serves up actual good outfits jenson has been supplying the paddock with the ugliest outfits known to man and that has truly propelled f1 forward (in my eyes)...

last but not least the impact he's had on us conspiracists... not only has he not let us crazy people rest a single second (all his stupid tweets abt "maybe i should race something this year 🤔") but he himself has always been a bit funny on this part... i remember the passage abt crashgate (or maybe spygate ?) in his books being very funny and indulgent. also his live slug reaction when lewis talked abt being a better teammate (with nico present) really cemented the brocedes lore so. definitely deserves an award

in reality i think the impact he'd actually be rewarded for is probably his happy and positive mindset.. he's always been very special in that regard that he's just plain nice, which i feel has been great for the paddock's atmosphere and the mental health of everyone involved

#okay i feel like i've just had the worst case of word diarrhea on the planet.. i barely understand what 'impact' means anymore #also can't spell diarrhoea #this question was so fun!!!!! thank you so much shelby!!! 🫂 #crazy abt jenson as always... #is time 100 impact awards even motorsport related?? i know nothing abt the rewards sorry if this completely misses the mark and is Crazy #button #shelby <3 #ask #if the spelling/grammar i shite look away ... i am sleepy..